#i knew from the beginning i wanted his growth to be about gaining his independence

[ladysqueakinpip]

Hirmi: acanthus, aloe, begonia Bodrum: heliotrope, hydrangea, magnolia

I like how you threw a little bodrum in there, just to spice it up lol.

HIRMI:

acanthus -   is your muse deceptive ,   or willing to lie or deceive to achieve certain means ?   why or why not ?

Certainly not! I think he is a bad liar. It is also against the elf code of conduct to be deceitful, and if he lied he wouldn't get a good grade in elf practice. He's already failing so I don't know why that matters to him. He can at least fail with dignity I guess.

aloe -   how does your muse handle grief ?

So far in canon he has: 1. Run away to the forest to live alone for 5+ years. 2. Developed OCPD. AND scrupulously. 3. Returned to a toxic environment. 4. Formed a codependent relationship. With a lemur. So I think it's safe to say he handles it badly!

begonia -   how cautious is your muse ?   are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of not trusting most everyone ?   why or why not ?

I can't say he's a cautious person either! Not that he's reckless like some of my other characters are, but I do think he has a tendency to go all-in and get hurt later as far as relationships go. He is trusting, and wants to believe people have good intentions.

BODRUM:

heliotrope -   does your muse believe in soulmates ?

He does! He is a hopeless romantic at heart. He would believe in soulmates for every quadrant.

hydrangea -   how much does your muse value communication in their relationships with others ?  are they prone to being misunderstood ?

In the beginning, not so much. He has an entitled "my way or the highway" attitude, mostly from being raised as a highblood. He later finds out that surprise! When you act like that people don't really want to be around you. So he makes a better effort to communicate going forward.

magnolia -   describe your muse’s relationship with nature   &   the natural world .  

He loves nature! Technology is very scary to him. Nature is calming and safe and inspiring. Maybe that's another reason why he's so drawn to Amytis - she embodies that. He doesn't have to worry about looking dumb for being behind on the times when he's with her. She's not very techy herself, either.

[rosezure]

Todoroki Family - My Opinion

MANGA SPOILERS FOR BNHA/MHA ahead!

CW: parental neglect and abuse, anxiety, therapy, Touya Todoroki/Dabi, Enji Todoroki/Endeavor, spoilers, swearing (please remind me if I forgot anything).

Disclaimer: All of the information on the Todoroki family dynamics is based on my interpretation of what’s been (so far) revealed through the anime and manga. These are all just opinions, you are free to agree or disagree respectfully. I do not wish to invalidate anyone’s opinion. Family dynamics have always been a very sensitive and triggering subject to me, so I hope that you respect that if you wish to discuss this with me.I would like to give my own two cents on the Todoroki family situation. As someone that has dealt with abuse and neglect in a (slightly) similar way my whole life, this story hits very close to home. I will try to be as thorough and objective as possible. But, feel free to call me out (respectfully) if there is anything ambiguous or if problematic. Thank you.

I am going to focus on Touya/Dabi and Enji’s story. I do not know enough to talk about Rei’s role in all of this, so I will not mention her. But, I might update this as new chapters come out.

I will talk about Dabi’s early years by referring to him as Touya since that was his identity at the time. Any comments about him as an adult will be referring to him as Dabi.

I was a psychology student for about two years, and when we learned about child development, here is what I gathered:

When you are a child, all you want is to be loved, to be safe. This is essential to a child, as it is what develops them into a healthy and independent adult. And, this is especially important concerning parents or guardians. Effective parenting practices ensure that the child will have a better chance at developing according to their age and needs. This will grant the kids skills that they will use and perfect as they grow up. In other words, children that are well-taken care of have a higher chance of being strong, healthy, and emotionally developed adults.

When a parent or guardian is ignorant of how they can impact their child’s growth, it has many negative effects. In Touya’s case, Enji Todoroki was clueless. This does not mean Enji should not be held responsible just because he was ignorant. Enji knew he was not being the best parent, but he did not know how exactly. And, at the time he was blinded by his greed and ambition, so he would not have been paying attention to that. Even so, (personally) I do not think parents are afforded the luxury of ignoring their bad parenting if they are made aware of it. They are responsible for another human’s life and growth. They should be held accountable if the child develops issues and hurts themselves or even others.

With that being said, Enji Todoroki was a horrible but clueless parent. From what I have understood from the manga and the anime, at first, he had no idea why Shoto was so "rebellious" (in his opinion). He also seemed to not understand Natsuo and Fuyumi. So I am led to believe that he was, at the time, oblivious to how much he negatively impacted Touya. 

Touya just wanted his father’s affection. If that meant grueling training and preparing to become a hero to defeat All Might, then so be it. It was the attention and affection he knew. He was not led to believe otherwise. Touya's sole positive interactions came from him showing he could fulfill his father’s sick dream. In a child’s mind, that was the only way to secure parental love and approval: To train as hard as possible and become what his father so desperately wished for.

Then his hair started turning white. He started getting injured because of his quirk. His only source of positive attention, his only hope for affection, was killing him. And it had to be stopped. I am sure in Touya’s mind, this meant he would not be loved anymore. 

And then Enji stopped training him. Natsuo was born. Shoto was born. And Touya felt that his source of love was directed to that baby. The baby that Enji saw as a success. Enji made Touya feel like a failure, a broken toy. And he was being replaced by a newer, shinier one: His brother.

When he tries to attack Shoto, he is trying to take back his place. Touya was trying to gain back his father’s love and attention.

Enji wanted to prevent Touya from hurting himself more. But he failed to communicate that. Instead, his words made it seem like his plan was foiled. Touya wasn’t enough, so Enji’s chance of using him to end All Might vanished. Touya wasn’t what Enji needed anymore.

Touya’s world didn’t collapse all at once. It didn’t even crack all at once. From what I understood, it was a collection of hairline fractures that never healed. It was a dislocated shoulder that was never put back in its place and was left to hang. It was a pounding headache that only grew more and more painful over time. 

When Dabi was born, Touya had been buried in bruises, paper cuts, minor broken bones, chronic illnesses. Touya was killed by exhaustion and pain. He didn’t die at one point, he was dying all along. 

As someone who suffers from chronic issues, I know that the somatization of symptoms and other sources of pain can turn a simple illness into something much more serious. Think of it as a butterfly effect, but all inside one person: Every single negative experience, from both outer and inner sources, all summed and turned into one massive festering wound. 

Touya’s mind was a living open wound, it seems.

So Dabi was born. To seal the wound shut. Clean it? No. Protect it? Maybe.

But this particular type of wound (the psychological, emotional one) if left untreated can become infected. And infected wounds are harder and more painful to clean and treat. 

Dabi’s mind is a bandaid over an infected wound. It seems objectively okay, maybe even sane. But he’s clearly in pain. He’s not in his right mind. His decisions all stem from the pure rage and anger of a child that was abandoned. 

What chapter 300 brought was the perspective of a child that just wanted to be loved. That's all he wanted. And the only love he knew was when Enji Todoroki trained with him, no matter how gruesome and painful it must've been.

I'm gonna briefly and superficially compare his situation to mine. Of course, I didn’t suffer half of the pain he did, and I won't go into any detail as to not trigger myself. But, I only got attention when I was either extremely sick or I was needed as a trophy child of some sort. Even then, if I was ill, the attention I got was so I could get well soon and go back to being "useful". I was an extension of them, at best. But I still craved their attention. I still do in a way to this very day. It's not something that just goes away once you realize how toxic and abusive it is.

No matter how much pain I’m in, no matter how love-starved I am, I still want their approval. Inside me, there’s still a scared child, crying out for her parents to love her. That child is now my responsibility. I have to give her love, nurture her so she can grow with me.

Does that make sense?

I have no idea how Dabi is feeling. And I don’t think we’ll ever truly know. He is fictional, after all, and there’s no telling if Horikoshi will be delving into that.

But maybe Touya is still inside Dabi, crying, screaming to be loved. And Dabi is trying his best to tend to that child, but he never truly grew up to know how to take care of another being. Dabi doesn’t know how to take care of himself emotionally. 

I’m learning because I, thankfully, have access to therapy. But it hurts. It hurts to realize the ones that were meant to take care of you, didn’t. It hurts to look into yourself and see a shaking, teary-eyed child begging for crumbs of love.

Now, with the whole "redemption" thing being debated, here's my own personal opinion. You don't have to agree, and I'm not asking you to. Again, this is just how I view it. As a survivor, I'd be relieved to see my parents try. The damage is done, true. I'll never regain my childhood. I'll never have what people with different, better, parents have. The past can't be reversed. And I'm seeing it repeat itself with my little brother. But, if there's a minimal chance that my parents can own up to what they did, that they open themselves up to changing their behavior and learning, then maybe we can build something new.

Build. Not rebuild. The foundation of our past relationship was rotten from the beginning. A new one must be built. A new foundation must be developed if we ever hope to make something of our relationship.

If the Todorokis, really want to reconcile, reconnect, rebuild, then they must start from scratch. If Enji Todoroki wants that, he’s gonna have to start from zero, from nothing. And I'm not entirely sure if Endeavor is doing that, but he is trying, somehow. We don't know for sure if he even has the emotional skills to do so. We can't say for sure that he's got what it takes to man up, own up and learn. But, he seems to be trying.

And that's something I've accepted I'll never have.

So if there's at least a 1% chance that he is truly trying, that Enji wants to redeem himself, then let him. Let their family try and heal together if that's what they want.

I'm not sure about the Japanese culture when it comes to family. But where I come from, a family is an important base of our personal and social development, to the point that reconciliation more often than not is the best route.

Still, I know it's not for everyone. So I respect you if you believe he doesn't deserve a chance. I understand if you say Enji Todoroki should be kept far away from his family. You're right, and you're valid.

But, please, please, if the author decides that he redeems himself and does try his best to start a new relationship with his family, let him. Let them heal. Together. Let them try and make up for the lost time in the best way in the present. Let them rebuild.

I know I'd give anything to rebuild my family.

Let Touya be healed and put Dabi to rest. Touya needs to be loved, he needs to be taken care of like he never was as a child. Dabi needs to be told he tried. He needs to be told he did what he could. 

But Dabi is also an adult now. He’s got legal responsibilities. The pain and devastation he’s caused and helped cause can’t be overlooked. He needs help, but he also had to be held accountable. 

Touya/Dabi needs to face himself and start over. He needs to face the man he’s become and at the same time take care of the child he wasn’t able to be. 

If the Todoroki family is reconciled, I dearly hope he gets to be a part of this new book. Not a new chapter, they need to throw that whole book away and start a new one. And, if possible, I’d love to see someone like me get the ending I won’t be getting. 

I hope this made some sense at least. Again, if anything is unclear, ambiguous, or problematic, let me know and I’ll do my best to correct or remove the bad parts. If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you share a similar experience, I’m sorry, and I’m here for you. 

[mrthomasdoherty]

Reading your various posts over the last few months, I’m surprised that you ship endgame Klaine tbh. Wouldn’t you have preferred a single Kurt living his best life in NY, with a hugely successful career and varied love life? Why are you sure Blaine’s for him? You also defend Blaine on occasions, fair enough, I’m not here to bash Blaine, but given Kurt’s own issues, is Blaine the right man for him? I’m confused though because at other times you seem quite critical of Blaine, The use of the term that he had a “facade”. I’m just wondering what’s in your mind regarding the Klaine relationship throughout the seasons.

Because Kurt Hummel loves Blaine Anderson, and Blaine Anderson loves Kurt Hummel. They're best friends first, and even through every up and down, through all the growing they BOTH do, they still want each other at the end of the day. There's no one else. A couple that struggles and grows overtime together without bashing the others freedom of choice to see other people (no matter how questionable it is) is good enough for me.

Blaine makes Kurt happy. Kurt chose Blaine for a reason. Let the dudes have their insecurities and struggles, it's a learning experience to grow as people - together and apart. If Kurt in canon never got back with Blaine after the S4 break-up, and remained single then I would've supported it because all I give a fuck about is him succeeding and growing as a person. But Kurt, fictional as he may be, can make up his own mind and me deciding that his choices are everyone's else's fault (Blaine, his dad, Rachel, etc) because he can't think for himself isn't how I play. He's independent as fuck, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve to be with the person he chose! Kurt doesn't make decisions on a fly, so he wouldn't have taken Blaine back if he didn't truly want to be back with Blaine, he wouldn't have stuck around Ohio after his dad's tests came back negative regarding the cancer. He loves this dude.

And hey, they compliment each other super well. Blaine is the person who gives Kurt the encouragement to stand up for himself against Karofsky. Kurt is the person who helps Blaine face a fear about prom, while also offering the support of skipping if Blaine is too uncomfortable. Blaine supports Kurt enough to transfer from his safe space school back to an openly homophobic one, and Kurt supports Blaine through his win of the lead for West Side Story - which I am sure was a struggle for both of them. And when given the opportunity to move onto someone else, they find their way back to each other. They're young, so expecting their relationship to be some fluffy fantasy where nothing goes wrong and they're always happy is dumb and I don't want it. I like my angst (so long as the issue the angst caused is brought up and not brushed over - like the cheating from Eli the Lighthouse or Chandler? The car scene? The fighting in s5 that resolved in a heart-to-heart twice? The lying about June fiasco? And then Blaine and Kurt confiding in therapy at long fucking last because they knew they needed help because something was wrong with THEM AS THE INDIVIDUAL NOT THE OTHER PERSON! That's mature growth from BOTH parties and its chefs kiss content).

Two people with issues should be free to date each other, having issues shouldn't be the deal breaker - knowing your boundaries and what you can and can't handle involving putting your issues above another persons should and it's why hey break up in s6 (which I still think is dumb in the WHY they break up out of everything - toothpaste, Kurt? TOWELS, BLAINE? You couldn't fight over what to do with the extra space in the loft once Rachel moved out?! That would've made more sense for a three hour fight! Ffs). It just takes making complicated choices sometimes and taking criticism with a pinch of salt. They clearly have their fair share of issues, but so what? Kurt's lack of physical affection and intimacy gets resolved (for season 6 standards of a brush by comment, but still) and Blaine's insecurities gets resolved (again, by s6 brush by comment - though we still see the change on screen with their personality shift so I accept it even if s6 is so bad). They BOTH got the help they needed for their issues, and still wanted the other at the end of the day. It wasn't one growing while the other remained stuck as the same person they were in the beginning and then pulled the other back to their old ways. Kurt began to be more open with his intimacy issues and Blaine gained his confidence stride back. It's not the others job to fix their issues, it's their own job. And they both realize that - the one thing s6 did right. Which ugh, giving s6 any compliment is nasty.

Kurt deserves the best, and he wouldn't settle or marry someone he didn't truly believe was the best (although fuck the idea that it was joined at the last minute and in a barn - there was no marriage licence issued, not accepting that bullshit. Santana and her choice can have it to themselves). That's good enough for me! And the fact they're BOTH successful at the end with a KID is proof enough that Kurt made the right choice. And Blaine is a lucky bastard.

[onceuponakdrama]

Crash Landing On You KDrama Review

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Bingo Card for Crash Landing On You

Synopsis: Yoon Se Ri [Son Yejin] is an heiress to a conglomerate in South Korea. One day, while paragliding, an accident caused by strong winds (and a tornado) leads her to make an emergency landing in North Korea. There, she meets Ri Jeong Hyuk [Hyun Bin], who is a North Korean army officer. He tries to protect her and hide her. Soon, Lee Jung Hyuk falls in love with Yoon Se Ri. 

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 8 out of 10

I was actually pretty invested throughout the entire drama. There wasn’t much I skipped, unless it was giving me secondhand embarrassment. Seeing the divide between the North and the South actually came into play for more than just the romance; there was the tension and threat that Cho Cheol Gang and the military director that come into play with the power dynamics. It was also interesting to see how was affected by the political relations, not to mention the role Se Ri plays as an heiress and CEO and Jeong Hyuk as the son of the Military Bureau. It did make things more dramatic, especially since when one was in the North vs the South and they weren’t allowed to be there and the risk of getting caught made things interesting. However, there were a few aspects that made me a bit tired. 

First things first: the whole plot with Cho Cheol Gang was drawn out for too long. It wasn’t really clear as to why he was so obsessed with taking the Ri family down other than to gain more power. The writers kind of wanted to try to give him some sympathy when he was talking about how he had nothing to lose because he grew up as a child beggar, but it was not working on me. I only felt upset when he died because he wasn’t going to be punished for the rest of his life for targeting Se Ri. If he was going to die, it should’ve been earlier. Anyways, I got really tired of him as the antagonist and the writers should’ve taken care of him earlier or made him more interesting as a character rather than just the antagonist. 

In the beginning, it was actually a really good pace. My only thing about Se Ri in the North was the fact that it took so long for her to get back. I understood that it’s not easy for her to get back, but they dragged it out for so long and I felt disappointed when they couldn’t get her over. I know it was also supposed to set up the couple and have them spend time together, but I was more invested in the fact that Se Ri was supposed to inherit the family fortune and company and I was interested as to how she was going to get that back and she couldn’t get it unless she returned. I don’t know though; that was just my opinion. 

Characters: Rating - 9 out of 10 

↣ Yoon Se Ri [played by Son Yejin]: okay, I absolutely loved her. She gave me major Cheon Song Yi vibes. Her confidence, her vibes, and her everything made me simp so hard for her. I also loved her development on her thoughts on romance and family. It’s very clear through the comparisons of having her wait for someone, relying on someone to help her, etc. I love an independent woman, but I also love seeing her understand that she doesn’t have to be strong all the time, especially considering how much bullshit her family put her through. I also loved that she had a life for herself in North Korea as well because she made friends with the ahjumma ladies from the neighborhood. There’s just so much I loved from her character and growth and I felt so much for her. 

↣ Ri Jeong Hyuk [played by Hyun Bin]: okay, I have never loved a man more. I know most of the viewers felt the same about him in the sense that he’s such a soft character and, at the same time, a strong character. He also had great development too, in the sense that he opened himself up to love and vulnerability that he didn’t get to feel after his brother died. He also felt that sense of responsibility to protect someone he loved because he was unable to protect his brother. God, I just have so many feelings for him. I loved him as a character and how soft he was for Se Ri and his comrades. But there was also the side where he was so charismatic and.... wow. What a man. 10/10 would recommend. 

↣ Gu Seongjun [played by Kim Junghyun]: I felt conflicted about him. I felt bad for him as time went and felt even worse when he was killed. It was still a good character though because he also had a lot of development and it was clear he was conflicted about the things he was doing and things he was seeing. I was also interested as to his relation with Se Ri; I liked it when the three teamed up, but I wished we got a chance for Se Ri to know that Seongjun passed—he did help her out after all and she let him go after he stole her brother’s money. The writers should’ve given him a happy ending, whether it’s faking his death to escape North Korea or something. He deserved so much better. 

↣ Seo Dan [played by Seo Jihye]: for Seo Dan, it took a while for me to like her because she was centrally framed as the second female lead that just wanted to break up the main couple. She was similar to Se Ri, in the sense that she was very confident about herself and knew how to assert herself—but she was just so insecure when it came to Jeong Hyuk and that made me upset. She also was written as the “I saw him first” girl and I did not like that. I was also upset that instead of giving her a chance of happiness with Seongjun, the writers killed off her love interest for her to be more secure about being single. There’s nothing wrong with her being single, but I don’t think she should learn that as her love interest died in her arms, like. Bruh. 

Personal Notes: I absolutely loved the ducklings squad (Captain Ri’s comrades) and their dynamics with both Se Ri and Jeong Hyuk. I felt so bad for them when they were being separated and then when they were wandering around Seoul because Se Ri would have really taken care of everything for them. I also loved Man Bok and how he was just listening to these conversations and reacting to them. I’m so glad he got the happiness he so deserved and got to move past Cheol Gang. I also loved seeing the side stories with the ahjumma ladies and how they were surviving. At first, they felt like average Asian moms, but seeing as to how they were all close and how they cared for one another melted my heart. There were so many good characters, protagonists and antagonists, because they all played some role with the plot and their relationships with the main characters. 

Romance: Rating - 9 out of 10 

Oh my God. I can’t remember the last time I rooted so hard for a couple. I absolutely loved them and I cried so hard during the last episode. From the separation, the stand-off, and when they got back together.... there was just so much to root for. I already said this, but seeing Jeong Hyuk be so protective of Se Ri and vice versa was so cute—especially since they didn’t really have someone to be there for them before. All of their scenes are absolutely precious. The only reason it wasn’t a 10 out of 10 was when Jeong Hyuk tried to do the stupid kdrama thing and dump her to protect her, only to cause her to collapse and she falls ill. Other than that small note, they were very refreshing—their chemistry was clear (as noted, considering the actors are dating irl) and I think the writers did a good job of making the audience root for them to get together even though it was nearly impossible considering the political relations between the North and the South. We love a forbidden romance. 

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10

I felt that there were some characters that could have been better written, even if they were secondary characters. These mainly include antagonists, but Seo Dan is also kind of included (as noted on the character section). Again, I really loved the little found family aspect (the one with the soldiers and the ones with the neighborhood ladies) and seeing as to how they progress throughout the drama. There were a lot of side characters I liked and understood. However, some of the antagonists really felt a bit unnecessary. I know they’re written to be unlikable, but some of them were really questionable. The major question is directed at some of the higher officers: what did they have against Ri Jeong Hyuk and why was he constantly targeted? There was no real motivation. I get that it’s supposed to drive the plot, but it didn’t really contribute anything major and felt unneeded. Other than that, I loved all the other side characters and seeing their lives progress as time goes—it was also interesting to see as to how it connected with the major pieces or branched from the major plot. One other note I wanted to include was Seo Dan’s family and how supportive they were. Her mom was kind of annoying at first, but, by the end of the day, she actually just wanted her daughter to be happy and nothing else mattered and I loved that. Her uncle was hilarious and seeing their little family dynamic was good comedic relief compared to what else was happening in the drama. 

Additional Notes: 

The Scenery/Atmosphere - I really loved the camera work and the colors of the scenes. While dramas like Record of Youth had a nice aesthetic, I think the colors was something that was really nice and worked really well. You can see this specifically when Se Ri goes from South Korea to North Korea. It’s really the attention to details that got me and seeing how the physical environment shaped the drama. 

I mentioned it earlier but I’m still upset that they killed off Seongjun, especially after all that build-up they had for him. They really killed him off on the 15th episode on a series that was 16 episodes long. This just sucked considering how much he had helped out Se Ri and Jeong Hyuk, along with his developing relationship with Seo Dan. It felt like the writers were testing out to see what would happen if they did kill off someone for the sake of the drama. The writers kind of screwed up on that one. 

The Ending - I personally really liked it. It was realistic in the sense that they couldn’t be together because of where they came from, but there was some of plan for them to get together eventually. It was heartbreaking to see them separate, but it was bound to happen. I did like the idea of them getting together in the place that brought them together—although the year long text messages made me cry and the waiting for him to show up broke me. It was still very satisfactory for the main couple and we already know my thoughts on the secondary couple [they 100% deserved better]. 

Overall Rating: 9 out of 10

Recommended? 

↣ Yes: I think there’s a lot to like about this drama. It’s very romance-centered with very likable characters that you root for. There’s a lot of tropes used, but it actually works. There’s also the aspect of found family vs blood-family, considering how rich families function and those who actually cared about Se Ri. There were also a lot of interesting side plots, so you would never be bored watching the drama throughout. Many twists and turns take place and it made for good entertainment; again, it was kind of tropey, but the writers kind of were just giving the audience what they wanted, so I can’t complain. 

↣ No: there’s a lot of political context, if you want a drama more focused on the romance and romance alone, you probably shouldn’t watch it. Some of the side plot focused on the North Korean military and it did bore me, but you had to pay attention because it actually mattered to the major plot. There are also some parts where it feels exhausting to watch, such as the beginning relationship of the main male lead and the secondary female lead, there’s the pop-up proposal from Seongjun (which came out of nowhere), the fake break-up sequences to try to protect one another, etc. There’s also a lot of emphasis on the heir fortune, so that means a lot of family drama that involves near attempted murder—which is also frustrating to watch. There also should have been a trigger warning, in the sense that Se Ri had a depression period, to where she was borderline suicidal. If you can’t handle any of these things, I don’t suggest watching it. 

[sims4monarchist]

United Realm Politics

The Imperial Senate: An Overview of Politics in The United Realm

The Imperial Senate of the United Realm is the legislative body of the federal government. It is comprised of 44 senators proportional to a state’s population, and is headed by an administration of five people: three of which are senators (president, speaker and vice president), while the other two are independent individuals elected by a select Senate committee (secretary, clerk).

The Senate was established by Her Imperial Majesty Empress Sequoia I at the beginning of her reign, when she decided to end a millennium of autocratic rule and turn the United Realm into a democracy and a constitutional monarchy. 

As the legislature of the empire, the Imperial Senate is the most powerful political body in the United Realm, and therefore being a senator is considered a great privilege and an honour. Being the President of the Imperial Senate, however, is considered to be the next best position after the monarch’s itself, and so far only seven individuals have held that title. A president is elected by a majority of Senators to a five year term, and is limited to a total of two terms. Here are the people who served as president of the senate since its creation:

#1: Augusta Gauck

Viscountess Augusta Gauck was the first President of the Imperial Senate and an instrumental figure in the establishment of the Senate back when the Empress was young and inexperienced. Formerly a prominent courtier in the court of Emperor Karl IV and his Senior Counselor on Domestic Policy, Mrs. Gauck was the perfect person to help steer the nation in a more democratic direction. Empress Sequoia saw her experience as invaluable and immediately appointed her as the Chief Transition Officer, responsible for the transition from autocracy to democracy. She helped the young Empress form democratic institutions like courts of justice and state assemblies, and also the Imperial Senate. She was rewarded for her efforts and loyalty by being made the very first President of the Imperial Senate. Gauck served two terms, or 10 years, and received the title of Viscountess from the Empress upon her retirement. She passed away peacefully in her sleep after Empress Sequoia’s Silver Jubilee a few years ago. 

#2: Othon van Nylph

Baron Othon van Nylph rose to power as the Vice President of the Imperial Senate under President Augusta Gauck, and was seen as her natural successor. He ended up being elected president - making him the first president to be elected in his own right, as his predecessor was appointed by the Empress -  and served only one term. Baron van Nylph was born an aristocrat, a member of a Brimradish noble family. A man of culture, he built and financed many cultural institutions after leaving office, and still resides in his grand estate in eastern Brimrad.

#3: Albert Gauck

The young and charismatic son of President Augusta Gauck, Albert had always been interested in following his mother’s footsteps and becoming President of the Imperial Senate, a goal he had achieved earlier than expected. He no doubt managed to secure a slim victory over Johann Kilgore (who later succeeded him) only thanks to his mother’s connections, but unlike her, he wasn’t a successful president. Critics at the time described him as lazy and inattentive, and some historians today claim that even the Empress herself disliked him. President Gauck ended up resigning from his position only two years after his election, leaving it to his former opponent and then-Vice President of the Senate, Johann Kilgore. Today, Albert Gauck is a professor of law at Foxbury Institute. 

#4: Johann Kilgore

Baron Johann Kilgore is one of the most experienced politicians that have ever held office in the United Realm. He started his career as the governor of his home region in Tyyr, the Duchy of Montezuma, and was then elected as a Senator from the State of Tyyr. He forged many connections during his time in the Imperial Senate, which helped him in his quest for the presidency. He narrowly lost the presidency of the Senate the first time he ran, defeated by Albert Gauck. He settled for the position of Vice President of the Imperial Senate until the next election, but his ascent to power came quicker, when President Gauck resigned. Kilgore immediately became president and later won the confidence of the Senate in a mandatory No-Confidence vote, which allowed him to stay in office for the remainder of the term Gauck was supposed to serve (3 more years). President Kilgore attempted to be elected for a second term, but by then some of his alliances were not as strong as they used to be, and the Presidential election was tied, 18 votes to Kilgore versus 18 votes to his opponent, Tacitus Baley (there were only 36 Senate seats at the time, as Klussia was not a part of the Empire). The election was therefore decided by then-Speaker of the Imperial Senate, Senator Gabriel Skoye, who voted for Tacitus Baley. Thus ended the presidency of Kilgore, however Empress Sequoia was quite fond of him and granted him the title of Baron of Natchez, the town in Tyyr where he was born, and still lives.

#5: Tacitus Baley

Undoubtedly the worst president in the history of the Imperial Senate, Tacitus Baley isn't looked upon kindly by history. He was so corrupt, the Empress herself was forced to end his presidency prematurely. As Senator from the State of Brimrad, he was involved in secret illicit activities involving foreign crime syndicates and mafias, for the benefit of his own pocket. A bureaucrat at heart, he knew exactly how to manipulate the system to fit his needs without facing any consequences. He decided to run for president of the Imperial Senate in order to gain more power and only defeated the incumbent President Johann Kilgore thanks to the vote of the Speaker of the Senate, who was reportedly bribed by Baley. Baley’s presidency saw a rise in crime and unemployment, but he couldn’t care less. One year into his term a group of senators, over two thirds, approached Her Imperial Majesty the Empress, requesting that she remove him from power before more damage could be done. The Empress entered the Senate Chamber and called the full Senate to order. She then ordered a vote of No-Confidence, which was almost unanimously passed by the Imperial Senate, cutting Baley’s presidency short. In order to avoid persecution of his former deeds, Tacitus Baley fled the United Realm and sought asylum in Klussia, which was a dictatorship at the time. He shared state secrets with the Klussian dictator, Ivan Mentlin - an act only recently discovered. The former president was caught by the Imperial Military when Klussia was conquered. He now serves life imprisonment in a federal penitentiary. 

#6: Ulrike Meyer

Baroness Ulrike Meyer was a breath of fresh air after the short yet tumultuous presidency of Tacitus Baley. A Senator from the State of Erebor, Meyer was a down-to-earth and humble person, which made many people like her. She is considered to be the second most popular president, after Augusta Gauck. Ironically, Ulrike didn’t even want the presidency. Her fellow senators begged her to run after Baley was removed from office. She reluctantly agreed and received 34 votes, while only two went to her opponent Maximilian Frank, who was an ally of President Baley. Meyer’s presidency saw vast economic growth which contributed to her popularity. Empress Sequoia also liked her and awarded her the aristocratic title of Baroness and also made her an Officer of the Supreme Order of the Elasmotherium, the highest order of chivalry in the United Realm. Former President Meyer wrote a bestselling book about her experiences in the Green House (the presidential residence) and now resides in a cottage in the small town of Portberg, Erebor. She established a foundation to help endangered species, which she still chairs.

#7: Nancy de Vriss

And now we arrive at the present, with incumbent President of the Imperial Senate, Nancy de Vriss. The Senator from Solis was a protege of Ulrike Meyer and that connection helped her ascend politically when the former decided not to seek reelection. De Vriss was first elected to the Senate at age 26, the youngest Senator at the time. A more conservative politician than her predecessor and mentor President Meyer, Nancy de Vriss took power at a time when the economy was booming and society was prospering. She continued to build on the work of President Meyer and the economy continued to grow. She would probably have gone down in history as a good but rather unremarkable president were it not for the Klussian War. Although the Empress still controls all aspects of foreign policy and the military, President de Vriss proved decisive in constructing strategies to defeat the Klussians, and indeed their defeat came much sooner than expected thanks in no small part to the help of the president. She won a second term as President of the Imperial Senate and continues to serve in this position to this day. For her help in decimating the Klussian forces, she was installed as Dame Commander of the Order of the Fir, which is the highest order in her home state of Solis. 

[voidendron]

it is

him

the swtor main/my very first toon whom I love very very much

info below the cut

--Do not copy, edit, or repost my works. Reblogs are appreciated!--

Name: Synnda V’ehsz

Other Names: Scorekeeper’s Herald (Qyzen) / Sky Hunter (Esh-Kha)

Species: Zabrak (Iridonian) 

Gender: Cis man (he/him)

Class: Jedi / Barsen’thor

Sexuality: Gay, ace

Preferring words over action, Synnda has always been one who tries to resolve situations peacefully. Careful with his words and good at finding allies in unexpected places, he serves primarily as a diplomat of the Republic and Jedi. While he does try to use his words to resolve things and is generally gentle, he’s a formidable opponent if things come to blows, using the Force as well as both agility and his larger size to his advantage.

Rarely smiling and with little emotion finding its way into his words, he can seem distant or even cold to others. He tries to be careful about forming attachments, but those close to him know he’s actually a sweetheart who truly cares for others and can even crack a joke from time to time. He’s open-minded and forgiving, believing everyone has a chance at redemption and giving others the benefit of the doubt. 

As a youngling and later Padawan, he relied on others to make his choices: It was difficult for him to do much of anything without first consulting with his Master or the Council. It wasn’t until a while after he was no longer a Padawan that he truly began to gain the independence Zabrak are known for, carefully weighing his options and often making difficult decisions. 

Synnda often puts his own life in danger without second thought if it means saving someone else. He’s lucky to have a team he can trust to have his back during such times. 

Extras:

-Was in a bad speeder crash when he was still a Padawan. Injuries consisted of losing left arm & leg and one of his hearts needing replaced

-When his leg was replaced, he never quite lost the limp and still walks with a slight one

-Visor is just to protect his eyes. Only wears it if he knows there’s a chance he’ll end up in a fight

-Tends to forget to properly care for his cybernetics, so they need repairs more often than they maybe should. Poor Tharan probably wants to smack him sometimes

Relationships:

Nadia Grell: (Canon - Sarkhai) His Padawan. He wants to do right by her, to teach her about the Order and teach her how to be the great Jedi he knows she can be, but also of the galaxy and cultures beyond her home world that she’s still unfamiliar with. He’s proud of her.

Qyzen Fess: (Canon - Trandoshan) To begin with, Synnda wasn’t really sure what to think of Qyzen: Didn’t agree with his methods/need for a hunt and didn’t understand his culture. Over time, however, he grew to respect the Trandoshan culture, even if it sometimes clashed with his own morals. He became protective of Qyzen (even if he knew Qyzen probably didn’t need protecting) and started to see him as one of his first close friends. Qyzen is his oldest companion, and has watched his growth from Padawan, to Master, to Barsen’thor, and was likely the biggest influencer of Synnda’s independence, open-mindedness to things/cultures beyond the Order, and readiness to do what needs to be done.

Tharan Cedrax: (Canon - Human) As a scientist who isn’t big on all the Force mumbo-jumbo, Tharan offers a different viewpoint on things than a Force-user or soldier would. Synnda respects him, and thanks to Tharan he’s learned to handle things in unexpected ways and has become a decent slicer.

Holiday: (Canon - Hologram (Human Appearance)) He enjoys Holiday’s company and thinks she and Tharan work well together. She was the first to get a genuine laugh out of Synnda to show his soft side.

Zenith: (Canon - Twi’lek) He and Zenith butt heads. A lot. On nearly everything, they have differing opinions on how things should be handled. While they’ve earned one another’s trust and give each other a fresh outlook on things, Zenith is one of the only people Synnda’s ever gotten into legitimate arguments with. 

Felix Iresso: (Canon - Human) Hearing about Felix’s struggles in the Republic military became the first time Synnda felt genuine disappointment and irritation in the Republic’s handling of things. He’s extremely protective of Felix (especially after he rejoins in the expansion stuff--that reunion broke Synnda’s heart when he learned what Felix went through). He won’t let anyone hurt Felix again.

“Azuma”/Cipher Nine: (OC - Zabrak) Related by blood, Azuma is his older sister. The last time he saw her was when he was five, when the Jedi took him. They ended up on very different sides of the war, with Azuma being an Imperial spy.

Natari Teayrn: (OC - Cathar) One of the younglings he was raised with. She’s like a sister to him and, while they rarely see one another anymore, they like to trade stories and methods they’ve learned when they do cross paths. She’s now a healer, and spends most of her time within the Jedi Temple on Tython.

Karwon Mana: (OC - Miraluka) One of the younglings he was raised with, but is now self-exiled from the Order after seeing it as weak. Synnda’s run into him before, and every instance has resulted in lightsabers clashing. He didn’t want to accept it, but he’s learned that there’s just no reasoning with Karwon.

[so-langdon]

Possession - Michael Langdon x Fem! Reader

Summary: Michael gets jealous when seeing another Hawthorne student flirting with Y/N and reminds her who she belongs to.

Warnings: Story-line change, angst, swearing, foreplay/oral (both receiving), orgasm denial, possessive nature, spanking, light degradation, rough play, slightly mean! but hella dom! Michael, rough smut, fluff

Tagged!: @hecohansen31 , @gypsylilacs , @michaelsapostle , @rocketgirl2410 , @saltyshaggymeme , @ccodyfern , @langdonshell

The day Michael Langdon arrived at Hawthorne’s school for Warlocks is the day everything changed for him and Y/N. He showed up with Ariel, the Great Chancellor, dressed in a dirty sleeveless black tee, black jeans ripped at the knees and matching black boots. With a painful-looking bruise coating his upper left cheek, tussled blond curls, dreamy blue eyes, and smooth, plump lips, he appeared fragile and so obviously afraid and unaware of where this new world was going to take him.

He was brought in due to the fact that Ariel believed him to be the Alpha, a warlock that has power beyond comprehension and could exceed that of the witches and could maybe even complete the Seven Wonders.

With all Michael had been through with his caretaker Miriam Mead, the butcher, interrogation, and Ariel seeking him out, it was a lot of information to take in. It was completely overwhelming and caused Michael a lot of pressure and distress as this transition occurred, and in such a short amount of time too. It was no wonder Michael seemed so hesitant when first arriving to Hawthorne’s and being crowded around by all the student and Head Warlocks.

As for Y/N, she was the daughter of one of the Head Warlocks and stayed away from the crowd that circled Michael to not add to the craziness.

She was only twenty, the same age as most of the students at the school. Though she was their age, she had a superiority over all of them. Being the daughter of one of the Head Warlocks meant not only a special status since she was the only girl present, but meant she also had her own powers. She was just called a witch, rather than a warlock.

Growing up at the school with her father, she easily learned and gained control of her powers with his guidance and help. By the time of sixteen, she was far more superior than most of the boys at the school, reaching close in talent of the Head Warlocks.

This is when her father, and the other Head Warlocks had a meeting and granted Y/N the opportunity to help teach the boys at the school. Y/N wasn’t sure about the teaching at first, knowing she’d have to deal with all the students and their immaturity and who knows what else.

Most of the boys at the school had a crush on her, whether they acted on it or not. Y/N captivated practically every warlock that came through and not just because she was the only girl there. She was alluringly gorgeous, witty, but kind, yet never took anyone’s shit, and had an independence to her that only added to her attraction.

But Y/N never gave the time of day to any of the guys aside from helping them with their magic. She was never interested in any of them. Some of the warlocks were too shy or just knew better to not get involved with her. But some were a little too pushy and flirted too hard. But having her superior status made it easier for Y/N to call out a warlock and to show them “No means no.”

Aside from that, Y/N knew she’d enjoy helping the warlocks expand and grow their powers as she loved magic, and wanted to help out her father anyway. So she gave in, agreeing to help teach and had been a teacher ever since along with most of the guys leaving her alone as well, even though they were still always hopeful for a chance some day.

When Michael arrived, Y/N could only imagine how under pressure and overwhelming everything must have been to him. With the crowd dying down and clearing out eventually, Y/N introduced herself and offered to show him to his new room.

Y/N helped ease Michael into this new world of warlocks and magic the first few days, showing him around and answering any questions he had. Michael got the hang of things quickly enough, growing confident in his abilities as he gained control and growth of his powers at an accelerated rate.

From shy and apprehensive in the beginning, to intimidating and almost cocky. You’d never see Michael without a smug expression on his face. All the student warlocks began to avoid him as he was showing true potential in being the alpha and no one wanted to risk crossing him.

So while the Head Warlocks and Chancellor worshiped Michael, and the students feared or hated him, his self-assured attitude was prominent. But with Y/N, Michael was evidently sweet. Michael had been captivated by Y/N on that first day when meeting her just like all the other warlocks had been when first meeting her, forming a crush.

Michael had heard through the other guys to not even bother with Y/N as she never gave any one a chance and would never be interested. But deep down inside of him, Michael knew he had to have her in every way imaginable. And he wasn’t going to give up.

And when Michael had captured Y/N’s heart in the end, it made all the warlock students hate him if they didn’t already, or even more if they did. Jealousy and fear coincided when it came to Michael and the other student warlocks. But when it came to Y/N, then it was just love, adoration and affection.

But just because Y/N was taken now didn’t mean that some warlock students didn’t try to get her attention or flirt with her. They still very well tried, at least when Michael wasn’t around. 

It wasn’t Y/N’s fault, of course. Michael knew this, and didn’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault she was beautiful and enticing and grabbed all their attention. He knew he didn’t have to worry about her either as he knew how she felt for him and had no interest in anyone else. But this didn’t mean Michael didn’t get upset or angry when witnessing it. 

~

Michael glares angrily across the classroom as he leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. He feels the blood boiling inside of him, steam radiating from his ears as he witnesses an all too friendly encounter before his eyes.

Michael had just entered Y/N’s classroom as all the warlocks had left for the day. He was supposed to meet Y/N in the library after lessons, but couldn’t wait another moment to see her as he hadn’t seen her since that morning. So he decided to meet her at her classroom. But he was surprised to find a Hawthorne student laughing with her as she smiled back at him.

Y/N’s smile was bright and dazzling as always, her eyes gleaming and fluttering over at the warlock, her laughter soft and sweet, causing a stir in anyone’s chest who heard her. Michael could tell the warlock had a crush on Y/N. Of course who didn’t at the school? But the way this student was obviously trying to flirt and charm her, it didn’t sit well with Michael.

Michael leans up and uncrosses his arms, taking a few steps in and waving a hand to shut the doors behind him. The loud slam of the doors notifies the other two in the room of his presence, immediately causing a fear to grow in the warlock boy as Y/N smiles over at Michael.

“Hey, what are you doing here,” Y/N asks, her tone pleasantly surprised over Michael's appearance. “I thought I was going to meet you in the library?”

“Thought I’d come see you a bit early,” Michael states, striding over, trying to keep his tone calm and collected as he gets closer. His eyes glance over to the warlock, making the boy visibly shrink back, looking like a cowering dog in fear.

“I-I should get going. Thanks for your help Y/N, I’ll see you in class next time,” the warlock student says quickly before rushing off, passing Michael and leaving the room for the two to be alone together.

Michael turns his head to watch the boy, making sure he leaves and the doors close behind him. Michael waves another hand, locking the doors to make sure no one else will be coming in and interrupting Michael and Y/N now. Michael looks back over at Y/N as she raises her eyes.

“Everything okay,” she wonders, sensing an off vibe with Michael. “Mhm,” Michael hums, starting to walk as he makes his way around Y/N’s desk. “Just coming to see you early since I missed you and I couldn’t bare another moment waiting for you.” Y/N smiles a bit, reaching her arms up and wrapping them around Michael’s neck as his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her to him and leaning in to give her a kiss. “I missed you, too. The day seemed to go on even longer when having to go over some incantations about Divination. No one can quite grasp that ability as well as I’d like them to.” “Well, I’m sure it’s difficult to get them to pay attention. I’m sure your students only focus on you, rather than anything else.” Y/N rolls her eyes but is still smiling. “They focus when I need them to. It’s just a difficult ability for anyone to master except you,” Y/N teases. Michael grins a bit and leans in again, kissing Y/N. He pulls her into his body more, wrapping an arm around her more securely, his other arm dropping as he reaches his hand up and cups Y/N’s cheek. He keeps his lips pressed to hers firmly, sliding his tongue into her mouth as he deepens the kiss. But Y/N pulls away, though she doesn’t want to, and bites her lip. “Before this gets.. too carried away,” she starts, “Let me finish cleaning up. Then we can head out.” “What’s the rush,” Michael asks, leaning in and placing a small kiss on her neck lightly before looking at her innocently. “We’re alone now. So what does it matter?” He leans in, placing another kiss on her neck, lingering longer. “I’m just kissing you anyway,” he mumbles against her, trailing a series of more kisses along her, making Y/N sigh contently. “Michael,” Y/N breathes out, unwrapping her arms from his neck and causing him to drop his arms from her as he looks at her. “As much as I’d like to, this isn’t the time or place for -- for this.” “And what is ‘this’?” Michael asks. Y/N hesitates but then shakes her head lightly. “I just know how you are.” “I’m not doing anything,” he gives her a questioning look. Y/N gives a teasing look. “I’m just simply trying to love you,” he says, tone becoming huskier, eyes seeming to darken. Y/N bites her lip again. “We’re in my classroom. Someone could walk in, I don’t know. It’s too risky.” “Doors are locked,” Michael states. Y/N stays quiet, contemplating on what Michael is hinting at. He always had an effect on her, could make her give in to anything if he really wanted. She was starting to become aware that this time would be no different as she really considered his implications. “Maybe if it were that other guy instead, you wouldn’t be as hesitant,” Michael suddenly says, a shift occurring in his behavior, a hint of bitterness to his tone. Y/N narrows her eyes, caught off guard by his words. “What? What are you talking about?” “That guy that was in here before I showed,” Michael clarifies. “Riley,” Y/N questions. “He was just asking me some questions about Divination,” she explains. “Really,” Michael hums. “Didn’t seem that way to me.” Y/N takes a step back, crossing her arms over her chest. “Well, it was. I don’t know what you’re trying to insinuate, but--” “I’m not trying to insinuate anything. I’m just speaking on behalf of what I witnessed myself which looked to be like some flirting to me.” “Are you serious right now, Michael? Like serious, serious? Or are you joking?” She raises her eyes. Michael clasps his hands behind his back, “I saw the way you laughed and smiled at him.” “He was just asking me some questions about the Divination spells today,” Y/N furrows her eyes a bit. “Nothing was going on.” “Are you sure about that? Because last I checked, Divination is an ability that requires your full focus and energy,” Michael states. “That didn’t look like it as you batted your eye-lashes and giggled,” Michael glares. Y/N laughs out, getting annoyed with Michael’s apparent lack of trust. “You’re being ridiculous. You know how I feel about you. You should know that nothing was going on between Riley and I.” “It just looked a little too friendly to me. Has he stayed after class before to ‘ask you questions,’ or is this the first time? I mean, he knows you're with me, doesn’t he? Or is he unaware of that fact?” Michael continues to glare. "Are you jealous,” Y/N asks, eyeing him carefully. “No,” Michael scowls, answering too quickly.  ”It’s okay if you are,” she assures, placing a hand on his arm. “I mean, I don’t want you feeling that way, but, you can talk to me about it.” ”I’m not jealous,” Michael frowns, pushing her hand off him. Y/N raises her eyes over his action. “Really? Because, that’s what it sounds like.” “Well I’m not. I’m just wondering why you seemed a little too friendly with that Ryan guy,” Michael states as casually as he can. “Riley,” she corrects. “Whatever,” Michael waves off, scowling again. “It seems like.. you might be a littttle jealous,” Y/N says, gesturing with her fingers. “And again, it’s okay if you are. Just be honest with me.” “I’m not fucking jealous,” Michael exclaims lightly. “I just don’t like that, that guy was throwing himself at you.” "He wasn’t throwing himself at me, and if for some reason he was, I wouldn’t have let him.” "Why are you defending him?” Michael asks, crossing his arms.  ”Why are you interrogating me,” Y/N asks. “You know you can trust me. Right?” Michael doesn’t say anything as he stares at her. Y/N rolls her eyes, not liking his silent reply. “Whatever. At this point, it sounds like you are jealous to me. But, that can’t be true since the Michael Langdon isn’t the jealous type apparently as you’re trying to show, right? You’re master of the universe, in the running to be the alpha. Why on earth would you need to be jealous,” she asks rhetorically, making Michael glare even more. “Guess you really do learn something new every day,” she says, almost taunting him. “You were the one that was smiling and laughing with him, it looked suspicious,” Michael states, voice growing angry. “Well fuck, you caught me then,” gesturing her arms out. “Clearly I was cheating on you because I smiled and laughed with another person that wasn’t you,” Y/N says sarcastically, voice raising. "You better be careful with how you speak to me,” Michael says, dropping his arms and taking a step to her. “No you better be careful, Michael,” she points. “I don’t have time for these childish games. I understand you have feelings, and they’re all validated. If you have a problem with Riley, or you’re upset over something you saw, that’s okay. But be honest and talk to me about it. Don’t start accusing and interrogating me like I’m guilty and have done something wrong, when I clearly haven’t. If you’re going to question me, then,” she shakes her head. “That’s your own problem and your own insecurity.” “My, my, don’t you have a mouth on you today,” Michael says impassively, head raising a bit. Y/N rolls her eyes again. “Has Riley experienced your mouth, too? Or just me?” Michael squints. “Fuck you, Michael,” Y/N glares back at him. “Where?” He takes another step closer to her. “Right here? Because I’d be happy to if you’d let me so I can put you back in your place.” “Back in my place?” Y/N laughs. “First of all, how dare you imply anything is going on between that guy and I when you know the truth. You’re basing your accusations on a two minute encounter.” Michael stares at her.  “But if you’re going to be so insistent that something is going on, even though I’ve told you repeatedly not just how I feel for you, but that nothing is going on, then maybe I should go start something with him. Make it a reality, since you don’t believe me anyway,” Y/N challenges, crossing her arms again. “You really don’t want to be testing me, sweetheart,” Michael grins innocently, but something different flickers behind his eyes, something darker. “No, you don’t want to be testing me, darling,” Y/N mocks back. “I know you’re powerful, but so am I, and I’ll--” “And you’ll what,” Michael interjects, grabbing her waist with an arm and pressing his body to hers as her hands grab onto his biceps. Y/N swallows, forcing herself to glare at him. “You’re not going to do anything to me, Michael. So don’t even try.” “Really? You don’t think I will?” Michael smirks. He leans over her as if he’ll kiss her, but then maneuvers his body to move Y/N to sit back at the edge of her desk a bit as she looks at him confused. “You want to test that theory?”

Y/N’s heart was pounding against her chest, a warmth flooding through her skin as she felt a surge of fire building in her lower stomach. The effect Michael always had on her was limitless, never-ending, never ceasing. But she refuses to acknowledge what Michael is doing to her in the moment, refusing to give in to his tactics as he knows he has an impact on her. “I don’t belong to you--”

Michael laughs lowly, “Oh, baby,” he grins, hand suddenly cupping her heat through her black skater skirt, making her breath hitch as she halts her words. “You are mine. Especially this,” Michael says, palming his hand against her teasingly. “This is mine,” he smiles. “All of you -- belongs to me. I was the first to claim you, and I will be the last. And if you want to challenge that, then be. My. Guest,” he pops each word at the end with a slight hiss and emphasis.

Y/N feels a tremble already starting in her body, the way Michael’s speaking to her, his hand on her, hardly even doing anything and making her mind forget about everything that isn’t Michael. Her mind clouds with the want and crave for him, wanting him to touch her more, to make her feel more, give her any little bit more than he is now.

“What? Can’t find anything to say back to me now? You were on fire just a minute ago,” Michael grins, sliding his hand away from her as he places both hands on either side of her on her desk to keep her in place as he leans over her a bit. “Cat got your tongue?” He speaks smoothly.

Y/N says nothing again, only letting out a shallow breath as she looks up at his eyes, the way they darken and seem to be full of lust.

“You are mine,” Michael repeats. “Now fucking turn around.” Y/N narrows her eyes at his sudden words, confused as to why he would ask her to turn. “Don’t make me ask you again,” Michael states, causing a shiver to run through Y/N’s core.

She turns around as he’s asked, still confused and now waiting for what Michael is going to do next. She feels Michael’s hands at the back of her waist, her skirt falling to the floor as he unzips the back, him pulling her underwear down a bit to expose her ass and making Y/N’s face flush a bit. Y/N steps out of her skirt as Michael pushes her gently forward to her desk, Michael kicking the article of clothing to the side. 

“Lean over,” Michael whispers in her ear, making another shiver run through her body in an exciting and curious way. Y/N hesitates a moment, asking, “Why?” Suddenly, Y/N yelps when Michael’s hand comes smacking down against her ass, catching her by surprise over. “Lean over,” he demands, tone more harsh. Y/N leans over her desk, laying her hands flat against it with her head still up, wanting to turn back to look at Michael to see what he’s doing or will do. But he gently pushes on her head, making her lay her head down on the side.

Y/N bites her lip when she feels Michael’s lips kiss against her ass, kissing one cheek and the other. 

“This ass is mine,” he says, a second later Y/N feeling a sharp smack of pain ring through her as Michael spanks her across the ass again and makes her yelp. “This,” Michael starts, pushing her underwear aside, sliding two of his fingers through her already wet folds and rubbing against her clit, making Y/N moan out, “is mine.” He slides his fingers from her clit, back through her folds and drops his hands. Y/N yelps again when Michael slaps his hand across her ass again. 

Michael grabs Y/N’s waist, pulling her to stand back up and making her turn around to look at him. Michael grabs her jaw, holding her in place. “This mouth,” he leans in, “is mine, too,” Michael seethes, glare showing on his face. “And it’s all for me.” He drops his hand. “Now get on your fucking knees,” he says, unbuckling his belt.

Y/N narrows her eyes, knowing what he’s going to have her do next. It wasn’t like she’d never gone down on Michael before. He’s just always been so sweet, gentle and loving. Affectionate and patient. Now, he was giving commands, and speaking in a low, harsher tone. It was all so new and different.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Michael adds, pulling the leather strap from the loops on the pants, folding the belt in his hands before tossing it aside so she knows he won’t be using the belt on her -- This time.

She was a little concerned about what Michael was going to be doing with her, considering this demanding, rough Michael was all new to her. But a brand new excitement began filling her to the core too, curious and interested in what he was going to have her do.

She kneels down onto the floor on her knees, eyes looking up at Michael innocently as she lowers to the ground. Michael looks down at her, a smug expression forming on his face.

“Well?” He speaks impatiently. “Go on already,” he gestures.

Y/N’s eyes fall to the outline of his erection in his pants. Her hands, slowly and a bit shaky raise to the top of his pants, undoing the zipper and pulling down on his pants and black briefs, releasing his hardening cock in front of her.

Y/N unconsciously licks her lips, seeing the size of him before her. Michael was never shy when it came to his body, and he had no reason to be, especially with his cock as it was massive. He was perfect, in every way it seemed. His cock was thick and heavy, long and pink, flushed a darker shade of pink at the head, a vein showing along the underside. Y/N’s mouth seemed to water over the sight, just as she always did.

Grabbing his length, she encircles her hand around him, adjusting her grip to fit before pumping her hand around him, feeling a bit apprehensive. She was still a bit shy when it came to these intimate acts, as she’d never done any of this until Michael came into her life. And this only drove Michael more crazy about her.

Y/N was feisty and sassy when she wanted to be, always having something witty or sarcastic to say when the time called for it, or snarky and snappy if someone brought it out of her. But then she was bashful and timid when it came to anything sex related. Nervous and hesitant, innocent and careful. But Michael was the one to corrupt her, to make her open up and explore her desires and sexual urges and feel that carnal pleasure while forgetting all about her shyness.

After pumping his length a few times, she brings the tip of his fully hard cock to her mouth, probing her tongue out to lick over the slit of his head. Michael hisses a bit, his breath hitching when he feels the touch of her warm tongue against him. He ruts forward, wanting more from her.

Y/N opens her mouth wider, bringing him to her mouth more as she encloses her lips around his head, sucking in for a bit before taking him further. She swirls her tongue around him, coating his cock with her saliva and making him groan in the process.

Then suddenly, Michael grips Y/N’s hair in his fist, yanking her back off his cock and to fall back onto her ass as she looks up at him with narrowed eyes.

“You know I love your mouth on me in any way,” Michael smiles. “But if you keep up with that teasing shit,” he glares, “you’re going to regret it. So get back on your knees and suck my cock like the good whore you are,” Michael hisses.

Y/N’s taken aback by Michael’s behavior. This was no sensual, or sweet kind of loving. Michael was presenting to her a whole new side of him, and maybe a new side of her too since she could feel herself how turned on she was getting from his rough actions and words.

Kneeling back on her knees and ignoring the hard wood floor that makes her knees ache a bit, she grabs Michael’s cock, looking up at him. He looks down at her as if he’s saying, “I’m waiting.”

She brings his cock back to her lips, bringing him as far into her mouth as she can while her hand wraps around the shaft of him she can’t reach. She starts with a slow pull -- out of habit -- but then sucks hard, bobbing her head up and down, picking up pace as Michael’s demanded.

Her hand follows up and down with her mouth, her hand twisting carefully around him as she moves. Michael places a hand on her head, gripping her hair, making Y/N think he’s gonna yank her off him again. But he’s just grabbing hold of her to keep himself steady.

Michael’s moans are prominent, loud and deep, loving the way Y/N’s mouth feels around him. “Fuck,” Michael moans out as he watches the way her head moves on him. “Your mouth was made just to suck my cock,” he breathes out, his eyes fluttering closed.

Y/N uses her other hand to cradle his balls gently, massaging and rolling them in her hand softly, adding to the pleasure that Michael was feeling. “Shit, just like that,” Michael moans again, opening his eyes and looking down at Y/N. His hand gripping her hair lets go as he places his hand steadily on her head. He pushes her forward, making Y/N take more of him into her mouth, making Y/N choke a bit from being caught off guard and needing to pull back so she wouldn’t choke.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop or pull back,” Michael grits. “You keep going until you swallow every last drop of me,” Michael breathes out, pushing his hand on her more so he fills her mouth and throat completely with his length, and moving her head on him to go faster as she tries to maintain her composure to not continue to choke on him, or stop.

Y/N was still in disbelief over Michael’s rough actions. The force of pushing more of Michael’s cock into her mouth surprised her since she wasn’t expecting it. But the arousal she felt pooling between her thighs showed how into it she was.

Michael continued to push down on her head, helping her to move faster and further as she sucked, swirled her tongue and hummed against him. Y/N managed to adjust to the size, feeling the way he twitched and pulsed inside of her mouth and into her throat as she moved her head up and down on him all the while she felt herself becoming more aroused by the second.

When Michael cums in the next moments, he doesn’t warn her, Y/N’s eyes widening a bit over the surprise and choking back lightly again. But she swallows every bit and sucks him off until he finishes, listening to his commands and wanting to please him, making sure she’s swallowed every last drop as he told her.

She seems to be waiting as she looks up at him after, remaining in place, licking over her lips as she can still taste him on her tongue, waiting for his next move.

“What? You want me to praise you?” Michael laughs lowly as he puts himself away back into his pants. “Tell you that you did a good job?” Y/N shrinks back a bit but doesn’t say anything.  ”Get up.” Michael leans over, grabbing her hand and pulls her to stand up. “We’re not even close to being done.”

Michael proceeds to finish undressing Y/N then, removing the final pieces of clothing from her until she’s bare in front of him. Y/N could obviously do this herself, but Michael got a thrill whenever he got to do it for her, always wanting to be the one to undress her.

Though this time in particular he was turning it into a game of sorts. Taking every bit of clothing off her at a slow pace, very obviously taking his time, arrogant smile showing on his face, bringing her taunting agony as she felt the light and fluttering touches of his fingers and hands against her as he undressed her. 

Michael made it a point to touch her body alongside removing her clothing, touching her everywhere but where he knew she liked it. Hands fluttering along her waist, down the valley of her breasts only. Hands brushing against the side of her body, down against her ass, never near her core, never where she really wanted him, consistently teasing her. It only worked Y/N up more, made her heart beat faster against her chest and caused her breathing to become more shallow as the impatience grew inside of her.

When she’s fully naked in front of him, he pushes her backward, making her sit back on the edge of her desk again, her looking at him with her doe-like eyes. Michael steps over, nudging her legs apart with his knees. Y/N bites her lip, watching as Michael’s hand reaches closer to her heat.

“This is what you want, right,” Michael grins, rubbing his fingers against her heat. Y/N breathes out, trying to contain her composure as he touches her, trying not to give in so easily and show how desperate she was for his touch.

“You’re already so fucking wet,” Michael laughs almost condescendingly as he gathers her wetness along his fingers. “And all because I spanked you a few times and you sucked my cock?” He slicks his fingers through her folds and to her clit, rubbing a circle against her, making Y/N whine a bit, closing her eyes.

“Lay back,” Michael says, pulling his hand away. Y/N opens her eyes, looking at Michael almost pouting from the lack of touch. But she listens without hesitation, sitting back more on her desk and laying back. She lays down, her legs hanging over and looks up at the ceiling.

Michael lifts her knees, placing them around his shoulders as he kneels down and hooks his arms under her legs. Y/N lifts her head as she looks down at Michael.

“Unless it’s my name leaving your mouth, I don’t want to hear a sound from you,” Michael says, a sinister expression showing on his face as he lowers his head down between her thighs.

Y/N looks down at Michael agape, wanting to speak back to him. But she can’t when she feels his lips immediately enclose around her clit, sucking hard and making her head lean back in a gasp.

She almost lets out a loud moan, breathing out at the intense pleasure Michael is already making her feel, not giving her any time to adjust as her body jolts from the sensitivity. But Michael’s words flow through her mind, causing Y/N to let out a moan in the expression of his name.

“No one will ever be able to make you feel as good as I can,” Michael hisses against her, kissing along her inner thighs for a moment, then kissing against her core before enclosing his lips around her clit again.

Y/N repeats Michael’s name a series of times as he licks and sucks at her clit, it seeming like Y/N was chanting his name. Michael could feel himself becoming turned on again as he heard her moaning his name consistently, knowing how good he was making her feel, knowing just where and how she liked to be touched like this.

When Michael swirls his tongue around her clit, swiping his tongue back and forth against her, Y/N accidentally forgets Michael’s rule. “Oh fuck,” she moans out after, the pleasure erupting in her mind and core as she felt a deep build inside her, not even realizing what she’s done as she grips his hair unconsciously.

Michael stops instantly, leaning back and standing up from kneeling as he looks over at Y/N. She looks over at him, narrowing her eyes confused, but then tightens her eyes shut when she realizes she made noise that wasn’t his name.

“What did I fucking say, Y/N?” Michael hisses. “I told you, if it’s not my name, I don’t want to fucking hear it.” “I forgot, it just slipped out,” Y/N pleads, opening her eyes and sitting up a bit with her elbows. “Please Michael, I’m sorry. I’ll remember next time.” “You don’t get a second chance. I fucking told you,” Michael states, but fingers trailing against her inner thigh. “But you didn’t listen.” His fingers brush against her heat, his finger sliding against her folds, to her clit and back down until he pushes a finger inside of her. Y/N moans out, closing her eyes. “I gave you one fucking rule. One simple fucking task,” Michael states, pumping his finger inside of her and curling it. “But you couldn’t even do that.” He adds a second finger, pumping his fingers quicker inside of her. “If you had listened, you would have been rewarded, honestly. You’ve been doing so good so far, listening and pleasing me.” He curls his fingers, adjusting his hand to where his thumb rubs against her clit. Y/N whimpers, feeling that same deep build inside her moments earlier. “But, you fucked it all up,” Michael says nonchalantly. Michael continues to pump his fingers faster, curling them and rubbing against her clit harder and faster too. Y/N grabs onto Michael’s forearm, holding onto him to steady her as she feels the deep pressure beginning to unhinge. “Therefore,” Michael begins. “You don’t get to cum.” He takes his hand away suddenly, knowing how close she was, making Y/N whimper and whine, looking at Michael with another pout as he smirks over at her. “If you want to cum, you better fucking earn it.” Y/N narrows her eyes, not understanding what that means.

Michael suddenly brings her to stand up. Grabbing her waist and pulling her into his body, he kisses her furiously, sliding his tongue through and causing an uproar of sensations to spread through their bodies. 

“When I’m done with you, you’ll never forget who you belong to,” Michael whispers against her lips when he pulls back a bit and turns her back around. He bends her over like earlier, her chest pressing against the desk, Michael placing a hand on her head to keep her facing away. 

Y/N waits for his next move, hearing the fabric of his clothing falling to the floor as he begins to undress himself. Y/N sucks in a breath, waiting impatiently for Michael to have his way with her, to give her all of him as she gives him all of her. The way Michael was acting with her was so new and different, and she couldn’t wait for his next move.

“You belong to me,” Michael hisses, gripping her waist as he aligns himself up with her from behind. Grabbing his fully hard again cock, he rubs himself against her wet entrance, making her whimper a bit. “And you always will,” he adds, pushing himself into Y/N in the next second, making Y/N moan out loudly, leaning her head forward against the desk as she feels him filling her up. It was always so good, so intense and overwhelming, feeling him stretch her out when he filled her.

Michael doesn’t allow Y/N anytime to adjust to the sudden thrusting and overflow of feelings, wanting her to feel all of him completely as he starts moving with her. He begins to fuck into her thoroughly, causing a series of pleasured sensitivity to grow deep inside of Y/N.

Michael grips her hips tightly, holding her in place, pushing deeper inside of her, quickening his movements as the seconds pass. Pushing harder and more intensely, the sounds of skin slapping against together mixing with their heavy breathing and panting.

Y/N exhales out, gripping the edge of the desk in front of her. She moves her body to move back against Michael, wanting to feel as much of him as she can. Michael thrusts deeper in her, taking her movements as cues. 

“Oh fuck,” Y/N moans, biting on her lip to try and remain as quiet as she can as she knows there are people in the school that could be hearing them. 

Michael slaps her ass harshly, making Y/N call out in the mix of a yelp and moan. “Don’t you fucking dare hold back,” Michael hisses. “You go ahead and fucking scream. Let everyone here know how good I fuck you,” he adds, slapping against her ass again and harder, making another yelp leave her mouth as she feels the stinging ring through her so good, so deeply.

Michael’s words turn Y/N on, and though she’d be embarrassed if anyone were to hear or catch them, there’s still a thrill to it too. The arousal from the thrill distracts her, making her hushed whimpers and moans come out in full volume.

“Show everyone you really do belong to me,” Michael groans, keeping his pace consistent, sliding a hand from gripping her hips to the front of her and down to her clit. He begins rubbing against her, making Y/N close her eyes, whimpering pleasurably as he circles his fingers along her clit. 

“Oh God, yes, Michael,” she moans, breathing getting more heavy, feeling the coil build in her body.

“You think that fucking warlock would ever make you feel like I’m making you feel now? Could ever make you scream and shake like you are right now?” Michael rubs harder against her clit, circling his fingers around her fiercely as he thrusts into her deeply.

“O-Oh fuck,” Y/N moans out, biting her lip as she feels the build growing inside her. “I’m -- I’m so clos--”

“Don’t even think about cumming yet,” Michael hisses, glaring from behind and slapping her ass again with his other hand before gripping her hips again. “You fucking ask me first. You earn it,” he states, still rubbing his fingers against her clit, thrusting deep and hard into her, other hand gripping her hip harshly.  Y/N whines, “Michael, please.” “Beg for it,” Michael exhales, gripping her hair in a fist, making her gasp as her head lifts up a bit. “Or I’ll fucking stop.” Y/N whimpers, trying to hold back on the build she feels, the coil springing tighter and tighter as Michael overwhelms her with all the pleasure. “Please Michael, I’m -- fuck -- please, let me cum,” she moans out. From the way he feels pumping in and out of her, his fingers against her clit, him grabbing her hair, the way he’s speaking to her. She’s not sure how long she’ll be able to last at this point. Michael can feel his own release building, feeling how she’s beginning to contract around him, the warmth and wetness of her around him making him moan out. “Who fucking owns you?” Michael asks, holding back on his release as he thrusts into her faster.  ”You do,” she breathes out. ”I said, who fucking owns you,” he asks louder, pulling out farther for a moment and thrusting intensely back into her, his grip on her tightening more so, making her moan out loudly. ”Fuck, you do, Michael,” she exclaims. “You do, you fucking own me,” she exhales.  “Who makes you feel this good,” Michael breathes out. “You do -- fuck -- no one will ever make me feel as good as you, never,” she bites her lip. “You own all of me,” she adds. “No one will ever be able to make you cum as hard as I can,” Michael moans, knowing he can’t hold back another second and knowing how close Y/N is too. “F--Fuck. You can let go baby,” Michael groans, the build up inside of him letting go as his fingers rub fervently over her clit as he cums.

Y/N breathes out with relief, her body tensing and unhinging as she begins to cum, the pleasure inside of her causing her body to begin to shake and jolt as ripples of pleasure flood through her.

Michael continues to thrust into her, his movements becoming more sloppy and slow as he finishes, coming to a gradual stop as he breathes out heavily, taking a moment to let his breathing slow down.

Y/N takes a minute to calm down herself, feeling her body still shake against Michael’s as her own shallow breathing returns to normal. Michael pushes his somewhat damp curls out of his face, and leans over to kiss the back of her shoulder, letting his lips linger for a few extra seconds. He pushes himself to stand up up straight after, removing himself from Y/N and to give her space to stand.

Y/N flattens her hands against the desk, taking a deep breath and pushing herself slowly to stand up too, turning around. Michael steps to the side, grabbing his blazer and stepping back to Y/N, wrapping the blazer around her shoulders to cover her up, knowing she’s more shy being exposed in front of him than he is.

Y/N smiles a bit as he covers her, knowing that even though he was just rough with her, his sweet and caring side still remains inside him too. She pulls on the front of the blazer tighter, appreciating the gesture as she looks at him.

“Thanks,” she says quietly.

Michael looks over at her carefully, studying her expression to make sure she’s okay. He looks her up and down, finding her as gorgeous and cute as ever, especially with how she stands shyly in his blazer, the fabric looking too big on her as it covers her. He can’t help but smile a bit.

“What,” Y/N asks, noticing his expression.

“Nothing,” he shakes his head. “I just, love you. A lot,” he says softly. 

Y/N smiles, feeling her heart flutter over his words. Smug and arrogant, and apparently rough and harsh with her sometimes (according to prior moments), but he was still the same sweet guy she fell in love with. Seeing the way he looked at her with adoration and spoke such simple but loving words to her. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that he was hers.

“So, did you learn your lesson?” He asks next teasingly. She raises her eyes. “Learn my lesson? “You belong to me, and you seemed to forget that earlier with that warlock,” he points out. “I had to remind you. So yes, your lesson,” he grins. “I never forgot, Michael,” she states. “I’d never forget that. You know I love you, too.” She pauses. “Don’t you?” Michael hesitates a second, but then cups her cheek gently. He nods. “Yes. I do. I know you do. I just, still worry sometimes. About losing you. I never want to lose you to anyone, for any reason.” “You never will. I’m all yours,” Y/N assures, covering his hand on her cheek with hers. “And if I wasn’t sure for some reason before, all that we just did reminded me,” she jokes. Michael laughs a bit. “That was okay, right? I mean, you’re okay?” Y/N smiles over his concern, nodding. “Yes. I’m fine. I’m good,” she clarifies. “It was different, but good. I mean, I liked it. Or whatever, you know,” she shakes her head, feeling the heat in her cheeks. “Just checking,” Michael smirks. “But, I could tell you liked it. I felt it,” he teases. “Shut up,” she pushes his shoulder playfully, flushing a bit.  Michael laughs a bit and leans in, kissing her. “Just never forget, you’re mine.” “And you’re mine, Michael Langdon,” Y/N smiles, grabbing Michael’s face gently and kissing him again, causing Michael to smile into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her for an eternity.

~

A/N: All feedback is much appreciated! Thank you for reading <3

[blackkudos]

Betty Carter

Betty Carter (born Lillie Mae Jones; May 19, 1929 – September 26, 1998) was an American jazz singer known for her improvisational technique, scatting and other complex musical abilities that demonstrated her vocal talent and imaginative interpretation of lyrics and melodies. Vocalist Carmen McRae once remarked: "There's really only one jazz singer—only one: Betty Carter."

Early life

Carter was born in Flint, Michigan, and grew up in Detroit, where her father, James Jones, was the musical director of a Detroit church and her mother, Bessie, was a housewife. As a child, Carter was raised to be extremely independent and to not expect nurturing from her family. Even 30 years after leaving home, Carter was still very aware of and affected by the home life she was raised in, and was quoted saying:

I have been far removed from my immediate family. There's been no real contact or phone calls home every week to find out how everybody is…As far as family is concerned, it's been a lonesome trek…It's probably just as much my fault as it is theirs, and I can't blame anybody for it. But there was…no real closeness, where the family urged me on, or said…'We're proud'…and all that. No, no…none of that happened.

While the lack of support from Carter's family caused her to feel isolated, it may also have instilled self-reliance and determination to succeed. She studied piano at the Detroit Conservatory at the age of 15, but only attained a modest level of expertise.

At the age of 16, Carter began singing. As her parents were not big proponents of her pursuing a singing career, she would sneak out at night to audition for amateur shows. After winning first place at her first amateur competition, Carter felt as though she were being accepted into the music world and decided that she must pursue it tirelessly. When she began performing live, she was too young to be admitted into bars, so she obtained a forged birth certificate to gain entry in order to perform.

Career

Even at a young age, Carter was able to bring a new vocal style to jazz. The breathiness of her voice was a characteristic seldom heard before her appearance on the music scene. She also was well known for her passion for scat singing and her strong belief that the throwaway attitude that most jazz musicians approached it with was inappropriate and wasteful due to its spontaneity and basic inventiveness, seldom seen elsewhere.

Detroit, where Carter grew up, was a hotbed of jazz growth. After signing with a talent agent after her win at amateur night, Carter had opportunities to perform with famous jazz artists such as Dizzy Gillespie, who visited Detroit for an extensive amount of time. Gillespie is often considered responsible for her strong passion for scatting. In earlier recordings, it is apparent that her scatting had similarities to the qualities of Gillespie's.

At the time of Gillespie's visit, Charlie Parker was receiving treatment in a psychiatric hospital, delaying her encounter with him. However, Carter eventually performed with Parker, as well as with his band consisting of Tommy Potter, Max Roach, and Miles Davis. After receiving praise from both Gillespie and Parker for her vocal prowess, Carter felt an upsurge in confidence and knew that she could make it in the business with perseverance.

Carter's confidence was well founded. In 1948, she was asked by Lionel Hampton to join his band. She finally had her big break. Working with Hampton's group gave her the chance to be bandmates with artists such as Charles Mingus and Wes Montgomery, as well as with Ernest Harold "Benny" Bailey, who had recently vacated Gillespie's band and Albert Thornton "Al" Grey who would later go on to join Gillespie's band. Hampton obviously had an ear for talent and a love for bebop. Carter too had a deep love for bebop as well as a talent for it. Hampton's wife Gladys gave her the nickname "Betty Bebop", a nickname she reportedly detested. Despite her good ear and charming personality, Carter was fiercely independent and had a tendency to attempt to resist Hampton's direction, while Hampton had a temper and was quick to anger. Hampton expected a lot from his players and did not want them to forget that he was the band's leader. She openly hated his swing style, refused to sing in a swinging way, and she was far too outspoken for his tastes. Carter honed her scat singing ability while on tour, which was not well received by Hampton as he did not enjoy her penchant for improvisation. Over the course of two and a half years, Hampton fired Carter a total of seven times.

Carter was part of the Lionel Hampton Orchestra that played at the famed Cavalcade of Jazz in Los Angeles at Wrigley Field which was produced by Leon Hefflin, Sr. on July 10, 1949. They did a second concert at Lane Field in San Diego on September 3, 1949. They also performed at the sixth famed Cavalcade of Jazz concert on June 25, 1950. Also featured on the same day were Roy Milton & His Solid Senders, Pee Wee Crayton's Orchestra, Dinah Washington, Tiny Davis & Her Hell Divers, and other artists. 16,000 people were reported to be in attendance and the concert ended early because of a fracas while Hampton's band played "Flying High".

Being a part of Hampton's band provided a few things for "The Kid" (a nickname bestowed upon Carter that stuck for the rest of her life): connections, and a new approach to music, making it so that all future musical attitudes that came from Carter bore the mark of Hampton's guidance. Because of Hampton's hiring of Carter, she also goes down in history as one of the last big band era jazz singers in history. However, by 1951, Carter left the band. After a short recuperation back home, Carter was in New York, working all over the city for the better part of the early 1950s, as well as participating in an extensive tour of the south, playing for "camp shows". This work made little to no money, but Carter believed it was necessary in order to develop as an artist, and was a way to "pay her dues".

Very soon after Carter's arrival in New York City, she was given the opportunity to record with King Pleasure and the Ray Bryant Trio, becoming more recognizable and well-known and subsequently being granted the chance to sing at the Apollo Theatre. This theatre was known for giving up-and-coming artists the final shove into becoming household names. Carter was propelled into prominence, recording with Epic label by 1955 and was a well-known artist by the late 1950s. Her first solo LP, Out There, was released on the Peacock label in 1958.

Miles Davis can be credited for Carter's bump in popularity, as he was the person who recommended to Ray Charles that he take Carter under his wing. Carter began touring with Charles in 1960, then making a recording of duets with him in 1961 (Ray Charles and Betty Carter), including the R&B-chart-topping "Baby, It's Cold Outside", which brought her a measure of popular recognition. In 1963 she toured in Japan with Sonny Rollins. She recorded for various labels during this period, including ABC-Paramount, Atco and United Artists, but was rarely satisfied with the resulting product. After three years of touring with Charles and a total of two recordings together, Carter took a hiatus from recording to marry. She and her husband had two children. However, she continued performing, not wanting to be dependent upon her husband for financial support.

The 1960s became an increasingly difficult time for Carter as she began to slip in fame, refusing to sing contemporary pop music, and her youth fading. Carter was nearly forty years old, which at the time was not conducive to a career in the public eye. Rock and roll, like pop, was steadily becoming more popular and provided cash flow for labels and recording companies. Carter had to work extremely hard to continue to book gigs because of the jazz decline. Her marriage also was beginning to crumble. By 1971, Carter was single and mainly performing live with a small group consisting of merely a piano, drums, and a bass. The Betty Carter trio was one of very few jazz groups to continue to book gigs in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

Carter created her own record label, Bet-Car Records, in 1969, the sole recording source of Carter's music for the next eighteen years:

....in fact, I think I was probably the first independent label out there in '69. People thought I was crazy when I did it. 'How are you gonna get any distribution?' I mean, 'How are you gonna take care of business and do that yourself?' 'Don't you need somebody else?' I said, 'Listen. Nobody was comin' this way and I wanted the records out there, so I found out that I could do it myself.' So, that's what I did. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. You know. We're talking about '69!

Some of her most famous recordings were originally issued on Bet-Car, including the double album The Audience with Betty Carter (1980). In 1980 she was the subject of a documentary film by Michelle Parkerson, But Then, She's Betty Carter. Carter's approach to music did not concern solely her method of recording and distribution, but also her choice in venues. Carter began performing at colleges and universities, starting in 1972 at Goddard College in Vermont. Carter was excited at this opportunity, as it was since the mid-1960s that Carter had been wanting to visit schools and provide some sort of education for students. She began lecturing along with her musical performances, informing students of the history of jazz and its roots.

By 1975, Carter's life and work prospects began to improve, and Carter was beginning to be able to pick her own jobs once again, touring in Europe, South America, and the United States. In 1976, Carter was a guest live performer on Saturday Night Live′s first season on the air, and was also a performer at the Newport Jazz Festival in 1977 and 1978, carving out a permanent place for herself in the music business as well as in the world of jazz.

In 1977, Carter enjoyed a new peak in critical and popular estimation, and taught a master class with her past mentor, Dizzy Gillespie, at Harvard. In the last decade of her life, Carter began to receive even wider acclaim and recognition. In 1987 she signed with Verve Records, who reissued most of her Bet-Car albums on CD for the first time and made them available to wider audiences. In 1988 she won a Grammy for her album Look What I Got! and sang in a guest appearance on The Cosby Show (episode "How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?"). In 1994 she performed at the White House and was a headliner at Verve's 50th anniversary celebration in Carnegie Hall. She was the subject of a 1994 short film by Dick Fontaine, Betty Carter: New All the Time.

In 1997 she was awarded a National Medal of Arts by President Bill Clinton. This award was one of thousands, but Carter considered this medal to be her most important that she received in her lifetime.

Death

Carter continued to perform, tour, and record, as well as search for new talent until she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the summer of 1998. She died on September 26, 1998, at the age of 69, and was later cremated. She was survived by her two sons.

Legacy

Carter often recruited young accompanists for performances and recordings, insisting that she "learned a lot from these young players, because they're raw and they come up with things that I would never think about doing."

1993 was Carter's biggest year of innovation, creating a program called Jazz Ahead, which took 20 students who were given the opportunity to spend an entire week training and composing with Carter, a program that still exists to this day and is hosted in The Kennedy Center.

Betty Carter is considered responsible for discovering great jazz talent, her discoveries including John Hicks, Curtis Lundy, Mulgrew Miller, Cyrus Chestnut, Dave Holland, Stephen Scott, Kenny Washington, Benny Green and more.

On June 25, 2019, The New York Times Magazine listed Betty Carter among hundreds of artists whose material was reportedly destroyed in the 2008 Universal fire.

Discography

CD compilations

1990: Compact Jazz – (Polygram) – Bet-Car and Verve recordings from 1976 to 1987

1992: I Can't Help It – (Impulse!/GRP) – the Out There and The Modern Sound albums on one compact disc

1999: Priceless Jazz – (GRP) – Peacock and ABC-Paramount recordings from 1958 and 1960

2003: Betty Carter's Finest Hour – (Verve) – recordings from 1958 to 1992

On multi-artist compilations

1988: "I'm Wishing" on Stay Awake: Various Interpretations of Music from Vintage Disney Films

1997: "Lonely House" on September Songs – The Music of Kurt Weill

[gaileon]

long ass fucking meta under the cut on alm’s growth, primarily focused on his shift in values (and also going into what they were to begin with) as his character arc in fire emblem gaiden. all quotes used in this are subsequently from that game.

alm’s main flaws are his naivete and his impulsiveness. when going on gut instinct while you, frankly, have less information on what’s happening around you, that’s just dangerous. alm’s victories are won by the knowledge mycen has drilled into him since he’s been a child ( after all, mycen knew that one day alm would have to set out in a war against rigel should things go to plan ) and his own unique strength. alm is mentioned to be a cut above the rest, reflected in how he is not only a unique class but also his stats being higher than even lukas, someone with actual military training, from the beginning. kliff has good reason to feel insecure and implore alm to be the one to save him in a pinch, and this strength plus alm’s good heart is likely what landed him a leadership position within his childhood friend group.

is alm’s strength something deriving from his genes? a blessing from his cross-shaped birthmark? something to truly set himself as a rigelian and not a zofian? i could speculate all day if i wanted to, but that matters not for the main argument i have to bring here: alm’s strength is what allows him to get his goals, and his goals are ones most agree with because he has a good heart, thus with power and kindness, what he needs most now is to mature mentally and see the world differently from how he did when he started his adventure.

alm grows up incredibly sheltered. being raised in ram village, he has lived most of his life in a far corner of valentia, unable to come into contact with much of anything. his education is implied to be solely through what mycen teaches him, and considering the low profile mycen was trying to keep, it is unlikely alm traveled much or had any reason to gain information or mature his world view. the fighter lacks experience, and he merely thinks like how his neighbors do as commoners.

he believes in the idea that mila will save them. the earth mother is all what zofians have relied upon for many years, leading consequently to their sloth. mila has blessed them with bounty and the people celebrate her. as someone growing up in a farming and ranching village with a large focus on winery, it makes entire sense that he was raised in a community that praised mila more than anything, for it was her blessings that has made their primary source of income able to work. they don’t have a plan b without her. alm defaults to faith in her, unable to come to terms on his own that they would ever be without her even in the face of a very certain famine. this is why his conversation with forsyth is so important.

Forsyth: It seems that Desaix’s requested aid from the northern power Rigel. Zofia’s forces can’t compare to the might of the knights of Rigel. If the Kingdom of Rigel makes a move, we won’t stand a chance.

Alm: But the “Pact of the Gods” upheld by Zofia and Rigel means we shouldn’t come to blows, right? Our guardian, the Lady Mila, would never permit such a thing.

Forsyth: Yeah, but see… There’s a rumor, it seems, that Lady Mila’s disappeared. Hey, hey. Don’t be so surprised. After all, it’s been kind of weird lately, hasn’t it? Around here, the crops have been failing, and all that’s showing up are a bunch of strange demonic creatures. You can’t help but wonder if the powers of Lady Mila, Protector of the Earth, are waning. Well, if you go to the Temple of Mila, you should be able to find out if this rumor’s true.

forsyth is the one to bring up bad news politically, only for alm to reply back that there’s no way rigel could send troops to zofia. mila wouldn’t allow that. but mila can’t do a thing about it, forsyth essentially tells him. mila’s gone. she hasn’t been helping them for a while. forsyth is the one to open alm’s eyes.

alm’s beginning to think for himself and truly evaluate what’s before him. when celica reunites with him on the rooftop, we start to see this shift. 

Celica: [...] Alm, I have a request for you. Is there no way war against the Kingdom of Rigel can be avoided?

Alm: That’s impossible. Emperor Rudolf of Rigel has seized the opportunity to attack while Zofia’s still weakened by civil war. He’s already started an invasion. At this rate, the Kingdom of Zofia is going to be destroyed.

Celica: But when it comes down to it, both Rigelians and Zofians are the same, aren’t they? We are all people of Valentia. Even if these divisions of country no longer existed, we should all still be able to live together in happiness.

Alm: That’s no good. You can’t just tell the people of Zofia to go live under the barbarous rule of Rigel. Seeing as how Rigel aided Desaix in ravaging the lands of Zofia, we’ve got no choice but to fight.

celica does something eerily similar to what alm did before: she suggests that war between zofia and rigel can be avoided (albeit for different reasons than alm did). however, when presented with this statement, alm is now the one to shoot it down and stubbornly so. we see alm now taking forsyth’s counter, thinking it through, and accepting it. alm’s previous argument, zofia and rigel cannot go to war because mila wouldn’t let it happen, hinges upon his faith in mila. him no longer believing that peace is possible between the two nations displays then a loss of faith in mila. alm has turned to be a figure who does not blindly devote himself to the gods, shedding some of that initial mindset, and this also puts him one step closer to what gaiden purports to be the ideal person: someone who does not rely too much on deities but instead themself. we must remember that this whole game’s conflict starts with emperor rudolf of rigel’s dissatisfaction with the state of affairs in all of valentia and wishing to reset it entirely, using his son — alm — as the figure that would pave the way.

in order for rudolf’s ambition to be realized, alm had to lose his fath. being less religious, for him, is linked with independence, one of the values that gaiden puts on a pedestal.

but that is not the only large shift in ideology that alm goes through. in the same conversation with celica as was referenced above, the following discussion happens:

Celica: Unless, Alm, now that everyone’s holding you up as a hero, you want to become the king of the country as well?

Alm: What! That’s mean, Celica. I don’t have those kinds of ambitions. I just want to protect the people of Zofia, that’s all. Besides, it seems that the royal family of Zofia’s only remaining princess is still alive, so I’m planning to search for her. As soon as I find that princess, I’m returning to the village.

keep in mind that zofia’s sole remaining princess being alive is nothing more than a rumor at this point as far as alm is concerned. but he is quick to believe it. in all honestly, alm is quick to believe just about anything in gaiden, which is another point to his naivete. 

regardless, his desire to find her to restore her to the throne highlights this mindset that he believes certain people are born to rule. he goes along with the class system, likely something zofia perpetuates, while rigel is more likely to reward people based on merit since that empire values strength so much. alm believes there are bad rulers, but he nonetheless thinks a princess he knows nothing about and doesn’t even know if she’s alive deserves to be on the throne more than any of the people who are working actively towards zofia’s liberation. 

however, by the end of the game, alm becomes the holy king (or, rather, as sov puts it, the saint king) of valentia. he, who was raised as a commoner, takes on this role. he may have the blood of an emperor, but he was not raised to fulfill the throne. he takes to it though, believing it to be his responsibility instead of giving sole control to celica which would’ve aligned perfectly well with his plan from before: to find the lost princess of zofia and then return home.

he learns returning home is not his end goal anymore, and when i take sov’s writing into account ( his a-rank support with faye to be specific when he answers why he can’t return faye’s feelings or why his dream is not to return home to ram ) for once, this is something he decides even before he finds out his true bloodline. he makes this decision without the basis that it’s his birthright to rule over rigel, but because of a difference in ideology. he no longer believes that he should have no hand in the matters of state with valentia and that he should just hand it off to a royal that he may hope will be benevolent. 

in doing this, he is also proving he is not falling to the same fate of all the zofians who relied on others, namely mila, to give them prosperity. he’s decided he shall do it with his own hands, and he will do it the whole way.

[b-kitsune]

Many ways to say I love you: Day Sixteen.

Kidge-a-palooza 2019 Prompt: Incompetent. Pairing: Kidge (VLD) Universe: Victorian!AU. Status: Part 3/4

Matt was reading a new novel he found in the corners of the house, while patiently waiting for the door of the corridor to open at any moment on news. The atmosphere in the room was tense and considerably anxious, where his family and those closest to him barely breathed in anticipation. He could see his father talking outside the terrace with Mr. Kogane and his brother-in-law, Lieutenant Kolivan, a man of great bearing and an undaunted face, who at that moment was suffering from a severe look at the anxiety of the situation. Around him, Hunk and Lance were sitting talking about the banalities of country life, trying in some way to calm the sorrows of his brother-in-law, who hadn't stopped observing the door at any time as soon as the women closed it in the instant that Katie started with the first contractions.

It was a terrible environment, but Matt had the incredible ability to keep calm in situations that escaped his own hands.

Like at that moment, while they waited for the news about the condition of his beloved younger sister, who was in labor for many hours. He looked up to see the central gardens, the sky had already darkened and wondered naively if that would affect his expected nephew in any way.

''Hey.'' Matt looked up to find Shiro at his side, a little nervous with his arms crossed. ''Do you want to accompany me to take a short walk around?''

''Of course.''

He raised from a soft movement leaving the book half-read on a nearby piece of furniture when they made their way into the corridors to give a charming view of the central gardens of the McClain house. Neither his father nor his friends made any comment about it, assuming there were still several hours of waiting before they knew about Katie and her expected son.

They walked for long minutes in silence appreciating the art of the vast gardens in the surroundings. While Lance McClain was a guy of eccentric tastes and unorthodox behavior for someone in his category, Matt could recognize that his delight in gardening was exquisite and impeccable. Around shrubs and flowers of varied origin, large ponds and fountains adorned their way like a large canvas of fantasy. They could both understand why Allura really enjoyed visiting Lance during her free time, independent of her alleged romantic interest in recent months.

Shiro sighed heavily as they stopped in a pond, watching as some small fishes swirled around the corners in search of food.

''I'm worried, Matt. '' Said Shiro crestfallen, Matt took advantage of the absence of employees around him to rest his head on the outline of his shoulder. ''I'm afraid for the life of Katie and her son.''

''Everybody does.'' He answered in a whisper. Shiro looked at him for a few seconds, seeing a soft smile on his face as he watched the water. ''Keith has not stopped observing that door since the maids closed it.''

''Did you don't? It's your sister we're talking about.'' He questioned incredulously to the tranquility of his voice. ''Already suffered a terrible loss at the beginning of their marriage.''

''I don't know Shiro, I just feel that Katie will be able to do it this time.''

When he and his family heard from Keith about the new pregnancy many months ago, the news had hit them badly in the first weeks, especially Matt. Who had accompanied his dear Katie during the hardships before the loss of her first child while her husband was on the outskirts of the city, ignorant of what happened. They had been terrible days, and Matt felt helpless to not get rid of the pain in the heart of his beloved little sister.

But now, when the screams were heard inside the room where Katie rested, Matt was the only man able to stay calm as a gentleman of his class. Since he and his family arrived at Lance's estate in the vicinity of the delivery a few weeks ago, he could see that Katie's mood, along with her weight, improved considerably, with a big belly that highlighted the last weeks of pregnancy of her long-awaited son. And while there was still danger during childbirth because of her delicate body, Matt was sure his sister could handle it.

Inside, he sensed that everything would be fine.

''Little Kogane-Holt has reached the end of the weeks of gestation, and all the women, including my dear mother, are helping Katie get it.'' Shrugged Matt.  ''There are more than fifteen people inside that room, my dear sister couldn't be more protected.''

Shiro hummed according to his words, after meditating a few seconds.

''I hope Keith could see it that way.''

''Oh, Shiro.'' Matt kissed the outline of his cheek. Funny at his words. ''I'm pretty sure if he spends a single minute more without anyone leaving the room, Keith will break down that door.''

 ...

 Keith felt incompetent.

They had spent so many hours waiting for some resolution about Katie's condition outside the room, that Keith felt it like long days. Not even Lance and Hunk managed to cheer him up while talking about banalities and news in the capital. How could he, take a few minutes of rest, while his wife was in labor a few inches from his place, and wasn't able to do anything for her at all?

Even if he had the opportunity to peek into the room for a few seconds to know Katie's condition, his mother and sister would hit him as invasive. Keith knew he was being impatient and overly dramatic, but he couldn't help but worry about her...

Through the months, his wife's health improved considerably as they spent time with Lance and Allura, who decided to visit them during Katie's stay to help her with whatever she needed now that she was pregnant with a healthy child. His wife enjoyed so much welfare around her to the point that she was able to do any kind of work without any problem on her own, even at the expense of the big belly she gained thanks to the good growth of her first child.

One night, while she caressed her belly with sweetness and Keith read a letter sent from his father to let him know about the news of the company, Katie told him that she wanted to forget her first pregnancy forever. Since the memory only brought pain and suffering, along with the constant fear of not being able to give birth. Keith could not deny her anything at that moment, seeing her so fragile and vulnerable as her eyes shone with longing for that child that grew inside her, so healthy and strong. So they decided to consider him as their firstborn.

Several times during the day and especially during the night, Keith would hold her while he listened to her sing, touching her belly with deep longing. Talking about their gender and the names they could give. They never managed to agree on what they expected, Keith longed for a daughter to teach her about hunting and the values ​​of his family, while Katie prayed to the heavens that it was a boy, for not to suffer the same sorrows that she lived with her mother in her younger ages. Keith just laughed listening to her family stories.

He had promised to Katie when she began to feel the first contractions, that he would behave just outside the room. But Keith could only breathe as panic hit him with every second that passed.

After a few minutes, when Shiro and Matt returned from their brief walk through the corridors of Lance's home, they heard loud cries that echoed on the walls of the house, Keith knew it was his wife, but even when his chest seemed to break before the supposition of a deep pain of his beloved, he wasn't allowed to enter until everything was in order. Keith moaned in frustration, but he paid attention to his mother's words.

He had to believe that Katie and his son were in good hands. He had promised to her.

The maids came and went quickly without mentioning anything that happened inside, and when he saw the sheets full of blood carried by one of the women, he completely chilled his skin. Shiro and his father decided to move him towards a chair so that he could rest, the color of his face was as pale as snow, and his body trembled with worry.

A deeper and heartbreaking cry made even Matt, who remained with extreme temperance at all times, made him look away in a panic to the room, where some women began to carry large amounts of hot water giving orders with extreme urgency. Keith couldn't stand it anymore. He moved his foot furiously while his father's hand on his shoulders didn't allow it to rise abruptly.

Another cry more painful made Keith stand up strongly, against the indications of his father and Shiro, who was no less reassured than him.

''I'm going in.'' He said hurriedly, but Kolivan, his maternal uncle, prevented him by placing himself in front of the door, with a calculating, but understanding look at the concern he was experiencing. ''Please, Kolivan, I ask you to understand that I'm afraid for Katie's well-being, I need you to move away.''

''No, you need to calm down, boy.'' He answered placing one of his hands on his shoulder. Keith groaned desperately, clenching his fists. ''You will not make any change inside the room, just wait.''

He wanted to refute his words with fury, to hit him and to make his way through the doors listening to the screams inside. But Keith was only able to nod like a reprimanded child.

After long minutes of silence, Allura left the room with a pause. Alerting all present by getting up quickly from their positions. She smiled happily, taking Keith's hand gently.

''Congratulations Keith, is a healthy and strong boy like his parents.'' Soon the room was filled with great puffs of relief and congratulations to his back. Keith felt he could finally breathe after many hours. And the knot in his stomach dissolved quickly. ''Katie is still delicate, but you can enter for a few minutes, you have to let her rest.''

''Thanks, Allura.''

He hugged her tightly and went inside, careful not to trip over a maid or friend who helped in the delivery of his wife, who were still leaving the room in a hurry, but with a pleasant smile as they congratulated him around. The light was dim, being illuminated only by a few candles.

There, in the bed he shared with his beloved wife, he saw his mother and Colleen taking Katie's hands and dictating words of comfort and relief. She looked exhausted and sweaty as if she had run a long distance, but Keith couldn't blame her for having spent hours in a great fight.

Katie smiled at him as soon as she saw him approaching, the women got up to give them the space they needed, but not before being kissed by his mother in a quick movement, Keith accepted her gratefully for all the work.

When he was by her side, he could see that her lap a small bundle moved just to recognize that he was alive. Keith's tears began to fall as soon as he saw the hair so characteristic of his wife on a small reddened head. He was a healthy child, Allura had told him, but Keith couldn't help thinking that he was the smallest and most delicate thing he had seen in the whole world. Katie laughed briefly as soon as she saw the first tears of her beloved, taking one of her hands.

''We made it...'' Katie said just in a soft whisper. Keith smiled happily kissing her lips, they felt somewhat dry to touch them. ''Our first son.''

''First?'' Keith questioned amused, sitting on the side of the bed. ''Do you want to go through this torment again? I was dying of worry out there.''

''I don't doubt it; you've always been a bit dramatic.'' The little boy moaned uncomfortably; Katie tried to fit him a little more in her arms.

''It seems that our little one is defending my integrity.'' Katie smiled burlesque at his words.

''Of course he does, he made a terrible show before he was born. My mother said that he wasn't in an adequate position during childbirth.''

''What a terrible situation you have lived, dear.'' Keith said, drying his cheeks with one of his hands. Katie, however, swallowed heavily.

''For a few seconds, I thought I would die of pain. One of the nurses told me that bringing a child to the world is an act of survival. I had never been so in agreement in all my life.'' Keith nodded in agreement with her words, caressing the thin hair of the head of his son.

''Allura told me not to take up much of your time. Do you want me to let you rest?''

''No, not yet.'' Katie answered, somewhat sleepy, but with one of her hands firmly in the arms of her beloved. ''Stay close to me, a little more.'' Keith smiled melancholy as he saw her fall more and more defeated, but without moving away from his touch, his beloved wife gave a strong battle. The least he could do was fulfill all his wishes.

''All the time you want, Katie.''

Keith saw her fall into a deep sleep after a few minutes. After that night, watching his wife dreaming along with his firstborn son, they would begin a new life with the responsibilities of a family. While Keith heard the laughter outside the room of his family and friends, he couldn't feel more fortunate in his entire life.

[scriptsandlattes]

Sherlock Holmes and Fanfiction: A Study in the Development of Humanity

August 17, 2019

           Along with having a Zygoma that would make a cheese knife jealous, Benedict Cumberbatch marvelously portrays the fictitious, and often socially blind, detective created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and is brought up as one of the many iterations of Sherlock Holmes. Whether you prefer the serious only-time-for-fun-when-I-drank-to-much, Cumberbatch and Freeman as Sherlock and Watson respectively, or favor Robert Downey Jr. and his Watson, Jude Law’s more comical approach, you have seen at least one version of the duo represented on-screen that is different from their literary counterparts; Which is anything but surprising, as it is a series of shorts that were written in the 1880s. Some laugh at the idea that fan-made fiction is an artifact of pop culture, but every story is inspired by another story. Even the original stories are often based loosely, stiffly, or satirically around witnessed events. Fanfiction is a study in humanity, and it's social and historical developments. It also brings out creative thinking, individually and collectively.

What makes writing stories using Sir Arthur Doyle’s characters on a platform such as Wattpad (or Tumblr) less accepted than a BBC or Hollywood production? It does not matter where the source material comes from; the original idea will be spun into someone's inspiration. The amount of research and work that goes into a good fanfiction should be commended as well, as writers can spend hours researching methods or mental incapacities. Then again, "good" is a subjective term, and you can often tell when something isn’t thoroughly researched. Even with films, tv shows, and big, commercially marketed books, there is an argument over whether the story is good or bad. While some consider fan-written fiction lower than kitsch, being a mimic is a skill. Yes, some of the characters are already established, but the writer still created an original character- or characters- and plot ideas, which means the story already has a new element added and they now must create interactions with the pre-established characters without disrespecting the constitution of the original characters or their creator. Whether the original creator would accept the fans version of the story matters little, as both versions are the author’s head canon. As with any form of art, kitsch or not, it will enviably cause controversy.

Cumberbatch's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes is the updated inspiration presented by Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat. To be more relatable to a broader audience, Holmes, Watson, and Moriarty are younger, and electronically inclined but still clever enough to keep the “old-timers” interested. As times change, more ideas are allowed. The mental health of it all has developed as well; the more scientists learn about mental wellness and the human psyche, the more we can be algorithmic with how characters will or won’t react to different disorders. Sally Donovan calls Sherlock a freak, John Watson rolls with it, and Detective Lestrade sees Sherlock’s potential.

While there is little exploration as to why Downey Jr’s Sherlock Holmes is the way he is, looking at it from a psychological point of view, we can identify the adolescent issues that caused Cumberbatch’s Sherlock to have grown into the man he is. Nothing sums up young Sherlock’s development more than “the mind is inherently designed to understand life as a narrative.” (Borges, 1962) Even Sigmund Freud agrees that the psyche reshapes the conflicts revisited in narratives as a way to cope (Danesi, 2019). In Gatiss’ version, the Holmes brothers have a younger sister. She was closer to Sherlock’s age and began to feel ignored and jealous of Sherlock’s relationship with his best friend Victor, so she shoved Victor down a well and refused to tell them where he was. It is not until after she burned down the family home and is sent away that Sherlock rewrites his memories, forgetting his younger sister and making his childhood friend his childhood dog, (that never existed), Redbeard. At one-point, Mycroft tells Sherlock he is the man he is because of the memory of his sister.

The same events also lay the foundation for understanding Mycroft as well. The human psyche is a precious thing. Where Sherlock forgot his trauma, and his brain seems to have rewritten the way he reacts completely, Mycroft lives with the guilt of knowing what he did. He knew the Eurus was locked away and did not die in the house fire she set, as he told his family. Perhaps his internalization of emotions is how he lives with the guilt, like a self-inflicted punishment. The more you pay attention to Gatiss as Mycroft, the more you can tell he truly cares about his little brother, but he is afraid to look weak, so he instead acts like he does not and allows the hostility.

Inspirations grow with the times. More ideas are accepted, and technology is upgraded. While Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes occasionally falls back into archaic tendencies, he uses modern technology such as keeping a blog and texting. Downey Jr. offers us the closer to the original version with telegram communications. Setting aside the Abominable Bride episode which is meant to take place in 1895- it is likely that if the two versions were to switch places, they would not be able to do their job as efficiently, if at all. They wouldn’t have the technology they know how to use; one would have the advanced tech while the other would think waiting for, or writing, a telegram is tedious.

When studying Pop Culture, we must recognize that linguistics and logistics have changed to sate modern speech and society. “The game is afoot” becomes “the game is on.” Texting and calling someone on their mobile phone became the new telegram and messenger correspondence. Phrases like “brother mine” and “blud” are granted between the Holmes brothers to show affection, even if it is sarcastic. There is a scene between Detective Inspector Lestrade and John Watson where Lestrade tells John that Sherlock is a great man and that maybe one day he will be a good one. (Moffat et al. 2010) Which implies that Sherlock is good at what he does, but not the kindest person. It is this scene that tells the viewers that if Sherlock were less talented but compassionate, he would be a good person.

The good man speech is alluded to in the third episode in the fourth series when Sherlock shows genuine concern for his brother and even addresses Lestrade by his correct first name, indicating character growth. That humanizing character growth is what gives Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock an appeal that Robert Downey Jr.’s version does not have. It also suggests that Cumberbatch’s Sherlock pays attention but chooses to goad their disdain deliberately, thereby making moments like that more precious.

What was it Carl Jung said about mischief? “In every person, there exists a predilection for puerile mischief.” (Dansei, 2019) So In a way, this incarnation of Sherlock Holmes is The Hero and The Trickster. He also has more than one form of the shadow he is dealing with- the shadow within himself, and the shadow that takes the form of cases and enemies. When considering Sherlock, a “trickster,” we must look past the usual villainy that is partnered with the mythology. His trickery comes from his lack or denial of social skills. In the second episode of the first series, The Blind Banker, Sherlock allows himself to be contradicted to move his case along. He also tends to use physically harmless manipulation when a case is involved. In that same episode, there is a scene with Molly Hooper that illustrates this action. Though non-cannon to Sir Conan Doyle’s original work, she is a specialist registrar, (intern), in the morgue at St. Bartholomew’s Hospital that Sherlock flirts with Molly to gain access to bodies in the morgue without having to go through official channels. He recognizes her affection for him and manipulates that. However, he has never intentionally been cruel to his tolerable affiliates. That is where he differs from the usual trickster mythologies.

When Mark Gatiss and Stephen Moffat created their version of Sherlock Holmes, it was not your twelve-year-old-girl-who-doesn’t-understand-the-dimensions-of-the-characters, fantasy. They cared about the characters and enjoyed the adventures of the detective so much growing up they wanted to create their own version., and that admiration demanded the creation of a beautifully magical world that transcends the archaic and challenges the archetypes. There are even liberties taken with John’s wife, Mary. As she does not have a detailed back story in the original work, she is probably the most natural character to build around. She could have been a ‘villain’ or ‘the wise old Oak’ that helps John in ways Sherlock can’t. Which takes us back to the role’s women play throughout history and anthropology.

Pop Culture can be considered an experiment and expression of postmodern democracy, and as with any other viewpoint, it is not shared universally (Dansei, 2019). This democracy and societal growth are evident in the way BBC’s Sherlock portrays Mary Watson as a strong, independent, and charismatic woman who enjoys the eccentricities of Sherlock Holmes. She even understood why he faked his death. Since the beginning, she has been in his corner and pushed the relationship between John and Sherlock to stay the same. It was not until later in the series that we find out why she is so accommodating. Where Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes shows us Mary Watson as ‘John’s soon-to-be-wife, who happens to be a governess,’ Sherlock shoves the progression in our faces.

Historically, women have been submissive; to be seen and not heard. 2009’s Sherlock Holmes movies played by Robert Downey Jr, there is the implication that women are second-class citizens and not often taken seriously, which allows the deception between Ms. Adler and Mr. Holmes. While she was using him for information, he was using her for creature comforts. It was not proper to openly discuss sexuality or lack thereof. The audience doesn’t even know how or when Sherlock Holmes met Irene Adler in this ideation. However, Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat challenge their audiences with a polar opposite character in their version of Irene Adler. She is an open and marketed Dominatrix, which accepts that women can take charge of their own life. In the wake of movements like #HeforShe and #Mettoo, Laura Pulver gives us the power to challenge inequality and harassment.

As previously mentioned, Molly Hooper is a character of merit in the BBC world of Sherlock Holmes. However, there is no place for her in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s works. The idea of women being in a power position like that was outside of comprehension in the 1880s. There is some subjugation with Molly accepting the way Sherlock treats her, but she is smart and influential and respected. Her education in the medical field illustrates how society has grown.  Women can study more than the necessities for being “Susie Homemaker.” Molly is Sherlock’s access point to bodies and labs in the hospital. Her allowing him access to the hospital helps him solve the crimes without breaking more laws himself by breaking into the morgue. He will never admit it, but she helps keep him human and occasionally inspires ideas with her medical perspective. It also helps that she is not “a complete idiot.”  

While the drug use seems to be a staple in the Sherlock Holmes lore, Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock doesn’t drink eye drops to get high when he can’t find substance. He also isn’t trapping flies under a glass container and plucking the violin to observe their reactions. This version of Sherlock Holmes also portrays scientific advancement outside of women now contributing. It is mentioned in the show the Sherlock is a graduate chemist, and he is often seen appropriately using a microscope and slides when testing drops of blood and chemical compositions. There will always be new scientific methods and discoveries. The microscope and sterile slides are scientific improvements that were needed to help science move forward. The best science starts with a sterile environment. Sherlock even enjoys experiments with microwaves and refrigeration, implying that he is monitoring the viability of a subject in various temperatures, and the bacterial reactions as well. Though there were refrigeration units, the microwave experiments would not exist unless he was to first invent a unit to conduct and control microwaves.

Some of the experiments are used to solve current cases, while others are entertainment because he is bored. He is meticulous with his work and can even identify 140 different types of tobacco ash. Another thing that has grown with over the years is the knowledge of chemical reactions. The scientific advancements shown to audiences with any Sherlock Holmes variation seem to live with the memories of Sir Conan Doyle’s own growing up in the era of scientific change. Some, such as BBC’s version, highlight the advancements, some stay stagnant, but the impact is still there, whether it is a history in science lesson or scientific progress that inspires new ideas. Each version of Sherlock Holmes has a certain cleverness to it. New ideas in science, intelligent women, even annoyingly clever criminals. Every release is another piece of the puzzle, a collaborative art form that feeds on societal growth, innovation, and invention while somehow keeping our history present.

In general, Sherlock on the BBC gives more humanity and dimensions to the characters. Character building is a skill that many take for granted. World-building is two steps beyond that. But to take old-fashioned characters and throw them forward in history is taking that challenge and upping the ante. Both versions illustrate how much humankind has changed over the years, but also how we stayed the same. We’ve always been creative beings, and while Robert Downey Jr. was not afraid to don a dress and bonnet (which offered him anonymity as a woman), Cumberbatch takes a different approach to the “hide in plain sight” idea. Creative difference, but just as effective. Whether our creativity comes from something manmade or our own ingenuity, we never grow out of it, just develop it.

[foreverlogical]

The election season of 2015 and 2016 was defined by chaos, infighting and a pool of deep resentment that came boiling over when votes were cast. But this election was barely noticed. It happened on February 17, 2016, in a rundown labor union hall in Portland, Oregon. Union members were voting on a new contract with their employer, Koch Industries. The union members felt powerless, cornered, and betrayed by their own leaders. The things that enraged them were probably recognizable to anyone who earns a paycheck in America today. Their jobs making wood and paper products for a division called Georgia Pacific had become downright dangerous, with spikes in injuries and even deaths. They were being paid less, after adjusting for inflation, than they were paid in the 1980s. Maybe most enraging, they had no leverage to bargain for a better deal. Steve Hammond, one of the labor union’s top negotiators, had fought for years to get higher pay and better working conditions. And for years, he was outgunned and beaten down by Koch’s negotiators. So even as the presidential election was dominating public attention in late 2015, Hammond was presenting the union members with a dispiriting contract defined by surrender on virtually everything the union had been fighting for. He knew the union members were furious with his efforts. When he stood on stage to present the contract terms, he lost control and berated them. “This is it guys!” his colleagues recall him yelling. “This is your best offer. You’re not going to strike anyway.”

I thought of the free-floating anger in that union hall often as I travelled the country over the last eight years, reporting for a book about Koch Industries. The anger seemed to infect every corner of American economic life. We are supposedly living in the best economy the United States has seen in modern memory, with a decade of solid growth behind us and the unemployment rate at its lowest level since the 1960s. Why, then, does everything feel so wrong? In April, a Washington-Post/ABC Poll found that 60% of political independents feel that America’s economic system is essentially rigged against them, to the advantage to those already in power. Roughly 33% of Republicans feel that way; 80% of Democrats feel the same.

What reporting the Koch story taught me is that these voters are right— the economy truly is rigged against them. But it isn’t rigged in the way most people seem to think. There isn’t some cabal of conservative or liberal politicians who are controlling the system for the benefit of one side or the other. The economy is rigged because the American political system is dysfunctional and paralyzed—with no consensus on what the government ought to do when it comes to the economy. As a result, we live under a system that’s broken, propelled forward by inertia alone. In this environment, there is only one clear winner: the big, entrenched players who can master the dysfunction and profit from it. In America, that’s the largest of the large corporations. Roughly a century after the biggest ones were broken up or more tightly regulated, they are back, stronger than ever.

I saw this reality clearly when I went to Wichita, Kansas to visit Charles Koch, the CEO of Koch Industries, a company with annual revenue larger than that of Facebook, Goldman Sachs and U.S. Steel combined. Charles Koch isn’t just the CEO of America’s biggest private company. He also inhabits one extreme end of the political debate about our nation’s economy. A close examination of his writing and speeches over the last 40 years reveals the thinking of someone who believes that government programs, no matter how well-intended, almost always do more harm than good. In this view, most government regulations simply distort the market and create big costs down the road. Taxing the wealthy only shifts money from productive uses to mostly wasteful programs. Charles Koch has been on a mission, for at least 40 years, to reshape the American political system into one where government intervention into markets does not exist.

But for all the free-market purity of Charles Koch’s ideology, there is not much of a free market in the corporate reality he inhabits. Koch Industries specializes in the kinds of businesses that underpin modern civilization but that most consumers never see—oil refining, nitrogen fertilizer production, commodities trading, the industrial production of building materials, and almost everything we touch, from paper towels and Lycra to the sensors hidden inside our cellphones. This is the paradox of Charles Koch’s word – he is a high-minded, anti-government free-marketeer whose fortune is made almost exclusively from industries that face virtually no real competition. Koch Industries is built, in fact, on a series of near-monopolies. And it is these kinds of companies that do best in our modern dysfunctional political environment. They know how to manipulate the rules when no one is looking.

Consider the oil refining business, which has been a cash cow for Koch Industries since 1969, just two years after Charles Koch took over the family company following his father’s death. Charles Koch was just in his early 30s at the time, but he made a brilliant and bold move, purchasing an oil refinery outside Saint Paul, Minnesota. The refinery was super-profitable thanks to a bottleneck in the U.S. energy system: the refinery used crude oil from the tar sands of Canada to be refined into gasoline later sold to the upper Midwest. The crude oil was extraordinarily cheap because it contained a lot of sulfur and not many refineries could process it. But Koch sold its refined gas into markets where gasoline supplies were very tight and prices were high.

Why didn’t some competitor open up a refinery next to Koch’s to seize this opportunity? It turns out that no one has built a new oil refinery anywhere in the United States since 1977. The reason is surprising: the Clean Air Act regulations. When the law was drastically expanded in 1970, it imposed pollution standards on new refineries. But it “grandfathered” in the existing refineries with the idea that they would eventually break down and be replaced with new facilities. That never happened. The legacy oil refiners, including Koch, exploited arcane sections of the law that allowed them to expand their old facilities while avoiding the newer clean-air standards. This gave them an insurmountable advantage over any potential new competitor. The absence of new refineries to stoke competition and drive down prices meant that Americans paid higher prices for gasoline. Today the industry is dominated by entrenched players who run aged facilities at near-full capacity, reaping profits that are among the highest in the world. In this industry and others, the big gains go to companies that can hire lawyers and lobbyists to help game the rules, and then hire even more lawyers when the government tries to punish them for breaking the law (as happened to Koch and other refiners in the late 1990s when it became clear they were manipulating Clean Air regulations).

The oil refining business is just one example of how Koch has benefited from complex regulatory dysfunction while public attention was turned elsewhere. In the 1990s, for example, a Koch-funded public policy group called the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) pressured states to deregulate their electricity systems. California was a pioneer in this effort, and the results were disastrous. Lawmakers in Sacramento created a sprawling, hyper-complicated system that surgically grafted a free-market trading exchange onto an aged electricity grid. Virtually no one paid attention to the 1,000-page law as it was being written. Almost immediately after the markets went online in the early 2000s, electricity traders at Koch Industries and Enron began gaming the system. They earned millions of dollars doing so, even as prices skyrocketed and the state’s grid collapsed in rolling blackouts. Lawmakers were blamed when the lights went out, and then Governor Gray Davis was recalled. The role that traders played in the crisis was hard to understand and hidden from view. Federal regulators filed a case against Koch for manipulating markets in California, but the legal proceedings dragged on for more than a decade. Koch ended up settling the charges and paying a fine of $4.1 million, long after the damage was done.

To take another example: In 2017, Koch helped kill part of the Republican tax reform plan to impose a “border adjusted” income tax that almost certainly would have hurt Koch’s oil refining business. The plan was being pushed by none other than Paul Ryan, a onetime Koch ally who was then Speaker of the House. Ryan wanted to include the border adjustment in President Trump’s tax overhaul because it would have benefited domestic manufacturing and would have allowed the government to cut corporate taxes without exploding the deficit. But former Koch oil traders told me that the border adjustment tax would have hurt profits at the Kochs’ Pine Bend refinery in Minnesota. Koch played a vital role in killing the border adjustment tax before a vigorous public debate about it could even begin (A Koch Industries spokesman insisted that the Koch political network opposed the border-adjustment measure only on ideological grounds, because it was basically a tax, and not to protect profits at Koch’s oil refineries) . By the time most people started paying attention, Paul Ryan admitted defeat and jettisoned the border adjustment.

Charles Koch doesn’t talk about issues like this when he talks about free markets. When I met him, Charles Koch was giving interviews for his new book that described his highly detailed business philosophy, called Market-Based Management. I had heard a lot about this philosophy, but what surprised me most when I interviewed the people who worked with him, some for decades, is how much they admire him. They said he was brilliant, but also unpretentious. He was uncompromising, but fair. I felt this way too, the minute I met the billionaire. I remember him telling me something along the lines of: “Hello, Chris! You didn’t need to put on a tie just to see me,” when I walked in the door (my audio recorder wasn’t even running yet, so the quote might be inexact).

Charles Koch’s avuncular, aw-shucks persona masks his true nature. I think of him instead as an uncompromising warrior. He has been fighting since he was a young man. He fought his own brothers, Bill and Freddie, for control of the family company (and won). He fought a militant labor union at the Pine Bend refinery (and won). Most of all, he fought against the idea that the federal government has an important role to play in making the economy function properly—even while taking advantage of government laws to maintain his company’s advantages.

When Charles Koch became CEO in 1967, the U.S. economy operated under a political system that is almost unimaginable today. The government intervened dramatically in almost every corner of the economy, and it did so to the explicit benefit of middle-class workers. This happened under a broad set of laws called the New Deal, which was put in place in the late 1930s. The New Deal broke up monopolies, kept banks on a tight regulatory leash, and even controlled energy prices, down to the penny in some cases. It greatly empowered labor unions and boosted wages and bargaining power for workers. Charles Koch dislikes every element of the New Deal. He has formed think tanks to attack the ideas behind it, donated money to politicians who sought to dismantle it, and built a company that was hostile to it.

As it turned out, the American public joined Charles Koch, to a certain extent, during the 1970s. Vietnam, Watergate, rampant inflation and multiple recessions shattered Americans’ confidence in the government’s ability to solve problems for ordinary people. Passage of the Civil Rights Act shattered the political coalition behind the New Deal, which had relied on Southern segregationists for support. Ronald Reagan rode the tide of antigovernment sentiment to the White House. But even Reagan wasn’t able to repeal the New Deal. He failed miserably when he tried to repeal Social Security, for example. He cut taxes, but never could restrain spending. What emerged during the 1980s and 1990s was an incoherent governing system, one that is deregulated in some key areas, like banking and derivatives trading, but hyper-regulated in others like the small business sector.

If the American political system is confused, Charles Koch is not. He rules over his company with undisputed authority, and he uses that authority to spread his Market-Based Management doctrine. This philosophy inspires the rank-and-file employees at Koch Industries—the company cafeteria is full of young, entrepreneurial workers who thrive in a system that heaps promotions and bonuses on top performers, while unsentimentally weeding out employees considered weak. But the unbending nature of Market-Based Management, and how it applies to the factory floor, played a big role in building the rage that swept through that union hall in Oregon.

When Steve Hammond, the union boss, tried to bargain with Koch, he found himself fighting over ideology, not benefits. In one case, the Koch negotiators wanted to strip down workers’ health care benefits, requiring employees to pay more money out of pocket for their benefits. The Koch team framed their request not as a way to make more money for Koch, but to create a system that better reflected the ideals of Market-Based Management. “It’s a matter of principle,” recalled union negotiator Gary Bucknum. “The principle is that an employee should be paying something toward their healthcare, or otherwise they’ll abuse their health care.” It was hard to bargain against principle. And the unions didn’t have the leverage to fight. The policies that once supported labor unions have been steadily undermined since the 1970s, dragging union participation in the private sector down from about 33% of the workforce to less than 10%. The union took the cut in health care benefits.

The current American political debate is focused on the shiny objects, the high-profile contests between Team Red and Team Blue. But companies like Koch Industries have the capacity to focus on the much deeper system, the highly complicated plumbing that makes the American economy work. This is where Charles Koch’s attention has been patiently trained for decades, as administrations have come and gone in Washington.

Thanks to this focus, Koch wins every time.

VISIT WEBSITE

[saeitoshi]

so i was planning to wait until the end of vrains s2 to make an extensive post about this with all of the characters, but i’ve seen talks about aoi in today’s episode so here we go about my thoughts about aoi’s character development in s2. i actually iterated everything earlier today about my thoughts on character development in general for vrains s2 on twitter (that i would link but tumblr seems to not like links on posts) so this is pretty much going to be verbatim

aoi in my opinion had a lot of great potential for character development in s2. in s1, she learns about her weaknesses as a duelist and begins to realize her dependence on her older brother. that’s why during the 3 month time skip, she devotes her time to adjusting her trickstar deck, because she knows that it’s flawed due to the low attack strength of her monsters. and right into s2, she adorns the blue girl avatar to go on undercover missions with ghost girl. it’s a nice transition to show that she’s still helping her brother out, but is slowly breaking away, doing what she wants, and learning from other older figures. aoi wants to grow both as a duelist and a person, and i think the writers did a nice job showing that in the first half of s2

was her loss against soulburner frustrating? somewhat, since it felt like those 3 months still didn’t show any significant improvement. but then again soulburner knew her strategies, knew her deck, and had the exact cards to counter it as she was one of the people he idolized, so it wasn’t too surprising in that aspect. plus there was an entire second half of s2 that could redeem her as a duelist, as she learns from her losses and fine-tunes her trickstar deck even more for growth

this transition is even more profound after aoi witnesses earth’s “death.” aoi begins to grow sympathy towards the ignis. after witnessing the pained human emotions from the artifical intelligence, aoi tells her brother, the one that she has always been trying to do her best for, that she needs time to think about her role in all of this. instead of simply abiding to akira’s wishes, aoi develops a new motivation to help playmaker et. al fight against the enemies because of her own emotional desires to protect the ignis

but then the turn of events happened in vrains where miyu is introduced as aoi’s old childhood friend. i’m glad that aoi herself is not the lost incident victim, and that she now has an even heavier emotional motivation to succeed. what i don’t like is how the vrains writers are writing her growth from here

instead of growing with her old trickstar deck, aoi suddenly gets a new cyberse deck. and then suddenly starts winning duels (which she hasn’t done at all this season). even though she only dueled once in s2, the fact still remains that vrains still could’ve put in a duel at least once prior to this change demonstrating that yes, her newly revamped trickstar deck can in fact work effectively

it feels like all of her hard work on her trickstar over the 3 month time skip between s1 and s2 is scrapped, and she’s now winning because of this new cyberse deck and the fact that she is now an “indirect victim” to the lost incident. it makes me feel like the writers are telling us, “if you’re not at all related to the lost incident, you’re not capable/good enough to win.” this statement would even apply to revolver’s relative success in duels this season

this is only solidified after this latest episode on how everyone comments on her being this “indirect” lost incident victim. it feels like the writers are repeatedly trying to get us to understand that “yes, aoi is involved in the lost incident, which is why it’s her time to shine now.” it’s like the writers wants the major protag characters to revolve around this one event, and everyone else who’s not apart of it are not capable duelists. ghost girl and blood shepherd are good examples, but do you know who’s the true prime example of this?? go onizuka

i enjoyed the stark contrast between aoi and go’s development. after s1, while aoi was trying to move forward with her own beliefs/ideals and with her own strength, go kept feeling hung over by the fact that playmaker essentially single-handedly defeated hanoi in s1. he doesn’t get the glorified honor of being a main character on the good side again, nor the valiant maturation of learning from his past losses and adjusting his deck to grow in a positive manner like aoi. we witness him succumb to power hunger, being driven into despair because he was never a part of the lost incident

now this contrast would have been perfect if they kept both aoi and go away from the lost incident. it’d show that yes, both had terrible pasts, but they didn’t need a traumatic event such as the lost incident to be as capable duelists as playmaker or soulburner, if aoi could grow and start winning duels even without it. but nope, instead we are still left with the same motif of “strong duelists are those affected by the lost incident”

i’m not saying that all people affected by lost incident or victims are capable duelists (i mean look at spectre). it’s just becoming a common denominator. is this a little too early to conclude still? yes, because the duel between her and bohman is still ongoing, and if she loses then a majority of this is a moot point. but if she does win, it only reinforces the motif even further. we’ll just have to wait to see

i just wish that the writers would’ve chosen to focus on aoi gaining her independent path more because of being emotional driven after witnessing earth’s tragedy, rather than suddenly tying it to this 10-year old event and making it the primary reason

[onceuponakdrama]

Record of Youth KDrama Review

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Bingo Card for Record of Youth

Synopsis: Record of Youth (or Youth Record) follows the lives of young people in the world of modeling. Sa Hye-Jun [Park Bo-Gum] is smart and handsome. He is a nice guy and a popular model, but what he really wants is to become an actor. Meanwhile, An Jeong-Ha (Park So-Dam) works as a make-up artist. 

trigger warnings: death and sucide mentions, slight family abuse 

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 6 out of 10 

I think a major point in this drama is that it’s very realistic, which also means it’s a little angsty (considering it’s a melodrama). It also had subtle mentions of classism and how it impacts specific families, especially with the comparison of Hyejun’s family vs Hae Hyo’s family. Speaking of which, there’s a lot of family drama, which I feel is the main plot—other than Hyejun being able to achieve his dreams as a successful actor and dealing with the scandals of people trying to tear him down after his success. I did like the realism of it all, especially with the family dynamics due to past grudges being held or sibling favoritism, and by the end of it, things are actually solved as they talk to one another to work things out. The main plot was fairly satisfying with the success of Hyejun and the family dynamics. There’s also Jeongha being able to achieve her dreams of opening her own makeup shop and gaining happiness and success from it. However, there were a lot of problems with some of the elements within the main and side storylines. 

Plot Holes - there were so many holes throughout the plot that were started and eventually just dropped. Even the major ones were built up and ended up being anti-climatic. I was more excited with the build ups, but then ended up disappointed as it goes throughout. One example is with Haeyo’s family—his mother was doing all of this stuff, only to be so easily forgiven at the end with no real character development that all that interference with Hae Hyo’s and Haena’s careers means nothing. Again, it is a real problem of the rich parents having a hold on their children, but there’s no actual resolution. Another example is with Charlie Jung’s death, which was dragged on throughout the end. Like, why are they blaming his suicide on someone who just modeled for him? There was so many problems with the rumors they were spreading about him and I’m surprised they didn’t do anything about it other than suing them. Again, another real problem but it’s so poorly addressed and felt disappointing. 

Side Stories - I felt unsure about who this drama was about, since it kept including side stories of the more disliked characters, even when it had nothing to do with the main characters. While I liked that the main characters were resilient with their problems and pushed through, I hated that the side characters barely learned anything and continued to be in the storyline, even though they literally did not matter. I wanted more scenes with the more likeable characters and wanted to see how they would progress to contribute to the main storyline. It also would have been nice to actually see the change in people, considering how Hyejun and Jeongha had good faith in people towards those who didn’t deserve it. A part of me wanted them to snap (like when Jeongha poured water on that one lady’s head), but they would just continue to be the “bigger person” and it just felt so repetitive. 

Characters: Rating - 6 out of 10 

↣ Sa Hyejun [played by Park Bo Gum] - I felt so bad for him throughout the entire drama. He was clearly the black sheep of the family and also the scapegoat, especially in the eyes of his father and brother. I was really rooting for his success, which I knew would come soon at some point. He’s also super soft and it was endearing when it comes to his grandpa, mother, and Jeongha, but that was really bad in terms of his career. I didn’t want him to turn out completely ruthless, but I did want him to grow a bit more of a backbone. It just felt like a bit of waste because he remained consistent throughout (which is good) but there was no actual growth to him as a character. The whole thing about him is that he’s “good” or “pure” and everyone kept pressuring him to be more “fierce” in the acting industry. I kind of did want that, but I think he was already strong—in the sense that he knew what he wanted and which way he wanted to go, without others’ interference. I did like that aspect of him, but, again, the growth is nonexistent. 

↣ Ahn Jeongha [played by Park So Dam] - I actually really liked her character because she felt so real. I really connected with her and her sense of realism, but also dreaming of a happier life. I admired her for quitting a stable job to pursue something bigger in life and how she acknowledged the difference in her fantasy (the idea) of Hyejun vs how he was in real life. She was also very independent, but it caused to be a problem because she didn’t want to accept help from others. I felt that she was a great character. While it did go a bit downhill towards the end, I still understood where others were coming from. (Others have mentioned how she got less airtime and became a side character in her own drama, which is true, but they also said she became weaker at the end by breaking things off with Hyejun.) I don’t think she became weaker; I think she grew to be more aware of her limits and wanted to expand herself to obtain her goals. However, I would have liked more time being dedicated to her to see as to how she became successful at the end. We got to see Hyejun, but we didn’t see much of Jeongha and it felt pretty disappointing because she had a lot of potential to grow as well. 

↣ Won Hae Hyo [played by Byeon Wooseok] - okay. There’s a lot here. I just wanted to say, I liked him in the beginning and I like that he continued his friendship with others... but, I really did not like him much beyond that. That’s because he was so jealous after the whole Hyejun being more famous and being compared and not to mention he kept going after Jeongha even though he knew Hyejun and her were dating. Like sir. You are not that great. I felt bad for him because his mom is the whole reason to why he even has a career in acting, but then he just accepted it as his strength? I was so confused because that’s not a strength, that’s just money that’s not even his. I guess the writers were trying to give him some development, but even then, it wasn’t much and it didn’t make any sense. He was one of those rare second leads that I was not rooting for at all and did not care much about; I was just annoyed. 

Personal Notes: I really liked Hyejun and Jeongha. They are so pure and deserved everything, but I really did not like that they kept believing the good in people when those people didn’t deserve it. There was not much character development, which is why the rating is lower even though the main characters were my favorite. I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that Hyejun’s father and brother were the absolute worst—that is until his father apologized in the end, which is super late, especially after he hit him and still thought Hyejun would mention him during his acceptance speech at the award ceremony, but like... Jesus. His brother was also annoying in the sense that he was so arrogant for no reason and so two-faced about Hyejun’s career like, dude, just be honest with each other. However, I will give it props for a real family dynamic, although we could have lived without a bit of it. 

Romance: Rating - 9 out of 10 

On the contrary to the rest of the plot, I absolutely loved this non-problematic couple. I thought the build-up of the romance was natural and, when they were in their relationship, it felt so nice to see in comparison to everything else that was happening. I really liked their scenes together and it felt so wholesome because I was rooting for both of their successes and their romance. The only thing I didn’t like was the breakup, but like... I understood the reasons behind it and also kdrama writers always have to have some kind of break-up and time skip even though it is not necessary. They reminded me of the drama, Love O2O, in the sense that the couple had great, natural chemistry, but everyone around them was the problem and that’s the only annoying thing about the drama. Other watchers said their romance was kind of bland, but I think it was nice because it was so natural—their banter, the interactions, the support they provided for one another. This is one of the dramas to watch for the romance, especially since it was so light. 

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 4 out of 10 

I felt like this is one of those rare dramas, where the people around the main characters are the most annoying parts and they don’t even drive the plot. They’re just there. Other than Hyejun’s grandpa, Jinu and his family (because they’re so supportive and cute), Haena, Subin, and Minjae (although, she is debatable of how often she meets with Tae Su), I wanted everyone else to die off. Even the antagonists didn’t feel like they served a specific purpose other than to annoy. I thought the ex-girlfriend (Ji-Ah) was going in a good direction towards the end where she was gonna be friends with Jeongha and Hyejun, but we never heard from her again. Again, this drama doesn’t seem to really resolve the problems they’ve built up throughout the entire drama. I did like the sub-romance of Haena and Jinu and they deserved better—I wish they had more time together in the last episode where they just broke things off or we would have a reunion or something. There was also the whole Minjae thing; I liked her, I really did, but she really needed to stop meeting with Tae Su. Speaking of which, Tae Su was never given any redemption or arch—he just continued to be annoying with Do Ha and I really wanted him to crash and burn. Instead, we get this desperate attempt for him to win back Hyejun even though he treated him so horribly. This was just bad writing to the max and some of them had real potential to do more. 

Additional Notes: 

Aesthetic and Color - this drama has a lot of good aesthetics and colors. I think it really set the vibe of a more chill drama, but it’s actually a melodrama. I think it just felt more like a relaxing drama because of the colors and softer ost. It has nothing to do with the plot, but if it matters to you... just a note. 

I mentioned earlier on the notes of classism that the drama portrayed, which felt very real. At first, I thought it was ridiculous that Hae Hyo was more successful than Hyejun because Hyejun is clearly more attractive and the entertainment industry loves that. But, then I saw more, like how Hae Hyo was pulled out of the modeling agency faster, he had those connections, etc. Even as Hyejun got more successful, there was the difference of Hyejun quitting his jobs and paying his family’s debt and house vs Hae Hyo doing acting for fun (ish) before he was to take over his father’s academy or something. 

THE REPORTER - I was gonna mention this in the secondary characters, but then I realized she doesn’t need to take over that whole section. She was great as an antagonist, but she was so annoying and stupid. She didn’t bother to check any of the facts and just published stuff because she wanted to take down Hyejun. There’s also the fact that she never apologized, formally speaking. She just accepted the charges and we didn’t get a scene of the two of them and that was a lost opportunity. I also hated how she said she was a reporter, but acted like a writer. Like, girl—go write drama scripts then since you want all the drama. It was all so stupid. 

Overall Rating: 6 out of 10

Recommended? 

↣ Yes: this is a drama about family and rebuilding those connections. If you like romance as a side/sub-plot, this is a drama for you. There’s a lot of emotional drama, so if you like that side of acting more rather than comedic, this is also a good choice. The romance is also very great; it’s very healthy and lots of communication is built throughout—it’s very natural. There’s also a lot of hope in this drama, in the sense that Hyejun has been going nowhere and then he manages to get the success he’d been aiming for and seeing that progression is very satisfactory. 

↣ No: this is very slow-built; if you are more easily frustrated, maybe just pass on it. Again, there’s a lot of frustration on the characters as well: both main and side characters. There’s also the family drama, which the center of this drama, so if you wanted more of a romantic comedy, this isn’t for you either. There’s also the love triangle trope, but there’s no second lead syndrome since the second lead is kind of jerky considering he’s after his friend’s girlfriend. 

[mikaalyssa]

Now Serving : In My Blood by Bo Bech

In My Blood (2018) is the first Now Serving event I went to. Now Serving is a cookbook store in Los Angeles’s Chinatown, and you can read some great stuff about the shop and the owners here. Ken and Michelle are warm, welcoming, and knowledgeable, and Frankie is adorable. 

Confession: It took me so long to go to one of these because I just assumed you had to purchase the book being profiled in order to attend. Turns out it’s 100% free and purchases are optional (but really difficult to turn down!). 

Danish chef Bo Bech (Restaurant Paustian, Geist) was wearing a black shirt and loose black shorts. Casual, friendly, easy-going. The night was moderated by Chad Robertson (founder of Tartine). He was sporting a baseball cap and has an assortment of floral tattoos on his arms, with a couple Eight Balls sprinkled in.

Tartine has recently expanded to LA, and Bech and Roberston crafted a special brunch prix fixe for the Manufactory. This story comes with the importance of being flexible and changing what doesn’t work. An uni + croissant dish wasn’t getting the attention it deserved, so for the second seating they moved the uni to a cracker. 

It’s great listening to the restaurants and chefs that other chefs will mention. When Robertson picked Bech up from the airport, they went to Holbox for lunch. At one point during the talk, Bech makes a reference to Roy Choi’s Kogi truck. Bech called Roberton’s croissants one of the best in existence. 

Bech has a slight accent but, as with most non-Americans, his English as an additional (Second? Third? Who knows.) is near perfect. Twice he asked if a word he said was indeed a word. And those words were “dishonest” and “diary.” 

He was cheeky, too. A couple attendees left early. After the door closes behind him, he says it’d be great if they came back with a double espresso. 

Bech often goes off-topic or askew, but you forgive him because everything he says is so engaging and important. There’s something about Europeans that you don’t see in Americans (personal opinion). He holds eye contact with such intent and really speaks to whomever he is speaking to. He would often grab Robertson’s leg or shoulder when speaking to him or about it. 

This talk made me wish I had brought some sort of notebook, but taking in the moment was great as well. Some standout vignettes that I can remember, in no particular order. 

Begeistret. This word is printed on the back of the book and means something along the lines of “enthusiasm.” It was the original name for the restaurant Geist in Copenhagen. There should be an enthusiasm about food, an enthusiasm about life, and Bech hoped the restaurant would foster and impart that enthusiasm. But perhaps it would not be an easy word for all to say, so it was shortened and the restaurant gained the name “Geist.” 

It was meant to represent all the same ideas and feelings, but Bech learned later that it can mean “ghost” in other languages. But oh well. 

Publishing. The book is self-published. It’s done the way Bech wanted it done, and not done the way a publishing house would have told him to do it. The photos are done by Bech (he would not call himself a photographer but he would call photography his hobby). And the watercolors are done by studio All the Way to Paris. 

Writing a recipe. Is difficult! Because how do you explain what you have been doing naturally. The book was cut down from 200+ recipes to 100. Maybe because 100 is a nice number. Maybe because he was tired of writing recipes. 

He grabs Robertson’s leg while saying, how are you supposed to explain how something should feel when you touch it? What size pan you should use and why? What color something should be when it’s done? When all these things are natural to him at this point. 

He tried to make the recipes written as simply as possible. He didn’t want readers to get bogged down with words. 

Eat your own food. He noticed and called out that chefs don’t really take the time to eat their food. They’ll taste spoonfuls here and there, but it’s so rare they sit and consume the full dish(es) as a guest would. Bech said, smartly, that chefs should be eating their own food. Really taking the time to see how it sits with you, feels with other dishes, etc. And when he had this realization, he himself made sure to sit down and eat his own food. 

Proust Questionnaire. Bech didn’t talk about this, but while flipping through the book, one of the first elements (a section called “Safari”) is his answers to some questions, the Proust Questionnaire. It’s “said to be capable of revealing any person’s innermost thoughts.” 

It was very fitting and very unsurprising that Bech opened with something like this. That honesty and authenticity really shone throughout the talk and sets the tone for the book. 

Opening a restaurant. He described this as an act of good. If you’re opening a restaurant, you want to do something good for someone. If this isn’t what you want to do, perhaps you should not open a restaurant. 

The Bottleneck. Bech described this term as one would describe “micromanagement.” He preached the important of stepping back and trusting others to fill in, because that’s how growth and evolution happen. And sometimes you’ll find that someone does something better or in a better way than you do. Again, it was great to hear someone in his position acknowledge that. 

Don’t Be a Ghost. A little girl (I’m bad at aging children, but let’s say ten) was in the audience. At the end of the quick Q&A, he made sure to ask if she had any questions. She had none. Did she want to be a chef? She wasn’t giving verbal responses but I can assume her answer was either a “no” or a shrug because next he asked if she knew what she wanted to be. Dad pipes in to say she’s not sure yet.

Bech sits back and says, “I was a ghost until I was twenty-four.” Twenty-four was when he found a passion, his passion for food. Before his passion he was a ghost. He was collecting money so he could come home and hang out with his friends. “Don’t be a ghost.” 

Upcoming. When asked about a next project, Bech did not confirm one way or the other, but offered this dream. He wants to study what happens at the dinner table and speak on it. Conversations, how we enjoy food in company. And to photograph it as well. If that project ever comes to fruition, I would love to check it out. (Or be part of it, honestly, one can dream). 

There were so many more gems from this talk and this evening, but it’s getting late and if I don’t finish this soon I’ll get bored of it and abandon. 

I wasn’t planning on buying the book, because I’m trying to Marie Kondo my life and make intentional purchases. But his personality really sold me, and my friends saying they were sold really sold me. 

When we got to the register, it was a shocking $93.08 (the most I have ever spent on any singular book, easily), but we were at the point of no return. 

All books had been pre-signed, but Bech was at the register to personalize and chit chat. Again, really holds eye contact, really makes you feel everything he’s saying is genuine and just for you. 

When I got home and flipped through the self-published behemoth, it became clear it was so much more than a cookbook. It’s an art book. And that $90 price tag started to make more and more sense. 

I also did some internet digging, because I was curious. In My Blood cannot be found via Barnes and Noble. It’s available on Amazon but only through third party sellers, and starting at around $160. There’s a signed copy on ebay going for $190 (and that’s marked as a 33% decrease in price). 

It can, of course, be bought directly through his site. But I couldn’t begin to guess what an international shipping fee looks like. 

As always, consider buying books directly from the author or from your local independent bookstore :) 

Looking forward to many more Now Serving events (thought my wallet is going to need to chill). 

[juliaisabellphoto]

Music Journal #1: 2018 Albums of the Year

Thus far, I’ve dedicated this blog solely to my attempts at becoming a decent photographer, as well as some scattered descriptions of my travels. While I have no intention of making this blog absurdly personal or anything more than an artistic outlet, I’ve always had an itching to write about the music I find & listen to. So, without further ado, I’ll start with my favorite albums of the year (& a short summary of my thoughts on each)

1. Tash Sultana, Flow State

I stumbled upon this gem of a project late in 2018 when I was itching for an album to drown myself in. As soon as the first notes of “Seed (Intro)” blasted in my headphones, I knew I had chosen right. With a beautiful combination of melodic guitar riffs, biting electronic drum tracks, and silky, laid-back vocals, Sultana opens up a world for the listener to fall into. Listening to this album is startlingly similar to a dreamless night of sleep - one moment you feel as though you can discern the differences between tracks, and the next you’ve made it all the way to track eight without noticing. “Cigarettes” is certainly the vocal gem of the piece, with smooth R&B roots & a chorus that just won’t get out of your head. In stark contrast, “Blackbird” is a song of instrumental mastery. The vocals take a backdrop to the intense conversation (and at some points, argument) being had by Sultana’s competing guitar melodies. Sultana’s work on the guitar is often reminiscent of John Butler Trio & other acoustic greats, but the addition of their unique voice allows the album to take an entirely unique shape of its own. If I have one piece of advice for 2019, it’s to make time to sit and do nothing but listen to this album. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVDJ8O3lPBA

2. Ariana Grande, Sweetener

This was an obvious choice. Ari dropped the album we all needed to hear in 2018. With the artful ability to produce banging pop songs with real meaning, Grande has the makings of a star who will not stop shining for a long, long while. The album is brimming with girl power and independence while also being honest and genuine. The entrancing bass line and sexy confidence of “God is a woman” captured the attention of functionally everyone this year, and with good reason. The subsequent confessional “breathin” showed that even the most badass women have their struggles. Chronicling her fight with anxiety, the song provides a stunning anthem for holding your head up through hard times. If this album proves anything, it is that the new queen of pop has arrived and will be staying. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivwciGSLC-M

3. ASAP Rocky, TESTING

In this album, ASAP Rocky ascends to a whole new level of hip-hop greatness. When describing the project, he stated that it was ‘all about testing new sounds,” and that shows. The abrasive intro song, “Distorted Records,” sets the stage for a completely unique soundscape. This experimentation continues throughout the album with funky drum tracks and accompanying melodies, but ASAP Rocky’s clean vocal style provides a uniting constant. 

While most of this album is perfect for blasting on the highway with car windows down, one song stands out as an independent masterpiece. “Purity.” featuring Frank Ocean, stands in stark contrast to the air of invincibility found in the rest of the album. This song is vulnerable: an introspective discussion of intoxication-related demons laid over an artful sample of Lauryn Hill’s “I Gotta Find Peace of Mind.” This slow, heart-wrenching piece provides an end to the album that is completely antithetical to its beginning. The immense versatility shown in one album alone deserves to be at the top of any 2018 list.

4. Khruangbin, Con Todo El Mundo

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that the best instrumental music has the ability to say more than any lyrics can. Khruangbin’s second album does just that: every song has a character and a storytelling emotion wrapped up in its funky bass lines. At times, the album floats along as life does (see “Como Me Quieres.) At others, for example in Maria Tambien, there is the feeling of being in the midst of some dramatic situation. The album instrumentally represents the  stages of individual thought (both active and passive) and it is completely enthralling. 

Fun fact: the track “August 10″ is the song “August 12″ from their first album, but played in reverse. They described it as a “connective tissue” between their first album and their second. Cool stuff!

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWLJeqLPfSU

5. Mitski, Be the Cowboy

I first listened to this album as I fell asleep on a plane ride, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The droning, climactic beauty of this album is best experienced on its own with nothing to distract but your own droopy eyes. The album starts off slow with “Geyser,” but quickly works its way up to the earth-shaking climax of “Pearl.” The album is filled with complex sonic peaks and valleys from there on out (try to find a melodic similarity between “Remember My Name” and “Come into the Water” - I date you.) The songs of this album feel like different chapters in a storybook, and that’s exactly how Mitski wanted it. When she described her intentions, she said that she wanted the album to feel like “the image of someone alone on a stage.” ‘Be the Cowboy’ cleverly achieves this - finishing the album feels like finishing a novel, including the disappointment at the lack of further content. 

6. Troye Sivan. Bloom

This pop album bursting with energy and emotion accesses the wonderful, terrible process of falling in and out of love. While I could talk for paragraphs upon paragraphs about the hours that I spent dancing in my kitchen to this album, that’s not the primary reason for this album’s place on my list. With ‘Bloom,’ Sivan produced one of the most emotionally versatile musical pieces of the year. When I discuss his songs with people, I am always struck by the differences in what they mean to each of us. Certainly, this variance in meaning is the nature of music - but Sivan pushes that to a new level. His songs are a vibrant and powerful normalization of gay expression, and provide the whole world with relatable songs to dance (and cry) to.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xCMF7jsDJI

7. J. Balvin, Vibras

There is only one thing that this album makes you want to do: dance. It is absolutely guaranteed that your hips will be moving by the end of song number two. The beats on this new album are hot and infectious, as shown by the popularity of “Mi Gente” in clubs everywhere. Reggaeton as a genre has gained massive popularity globally, and Balvin has jumped into this with new variations of the traditional Columbian style. Noticeable throughout the album are infusions of popular trap beats as well as salsa and electronic dance music (see “Machika.”) The album is undeniably sexy, y despues de escuchar todas personas quieren mas ;)

8. LP, Heart to Mouth

I read somewhere that this album was a “full-length heartbreaker.” As I progressed through each song, this description was confirmed ten times over. There is not a single song on this album that didn’t make me feel something real. In no particular order, LP represents the whirlwind of emotions that come with the end of a relationship: regret, pain, missing someone, liberation, strength. The entire conflicting mess is all there. Listen to ‘Recovery’ if you need a cry, and ‘Girls Go Wild’ if you need a therapeutic dance party. All I can do is feel thankful to have received this raw, empowering confessional. And of course, her stunning vocals don’t hurt one bit. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACWS4ajWdww

9. Mac Miller, Swimming 

Listening to this album in the wake of Mac’s death is haunting. His words cut deep, and they cut deeper after knowing the full extent of how he struggled. The themes of growth and healing are wrapped up in overwhelming melodies and Mac’s beautiful voice. The first track of the album, “Come Back to Earth,” sets the stage for the emotional rollercoaster that each track is bound to be. After this song, he launches into the groovy “Hurt Feelings” and begins to describe the intricacies of his hardships. This album is something you could easily bop around your kitchen table to (queue “What’s the Use?”), but if you listen too closely you might end up in tears. In this contemplative and instrumentally complex record, Mac’s last work was his strongest. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrR_gm6RqCo

10. Liz Brasher, Outcast EP

I first heard this EP on an episode of NPR’s “All Songs Considered” in the middle of a long drive up California Highway 5 (one that would’ve been torturous without the discovery of new music.) The song “Body of Mine” immediately caught my ear, and I dove into the rest of Brasher’s music as deeply as I could. Uncut garage-band sound is the overwhelming theme of the EP - “Body of Mine,” “Come My Way,” and “Outcast” make this crystal clear. Despite the quick assumptions that can be made about her sound, Brasher pulls complexity into the EP with the heart-wrenching ballads “Feel Something” and “Remain.” These two songs showcase the raw strength of her voice and the emotion that she can convey with it. I am excited to see what her music develops into as she gains more acclaim in the new year. Thanks again, NPR!

11. Travis Scott, ASTROWORLD

I haven’t been a huge Travis Scott fan in the past. I would passively listen to his music, but I never understood all the buzz about him. This album completely changed my mind. ASTROWORLD is a masterpiece in so many ways, and the amount of depth present in the album is mindblowing. While “STARGAZING” and “SICKO MODE” stand out as obvious party bangers, it’s no surprise that many fans are hooked on calmer tracks like “YOSEMITE” and “COFFEE BEAN.” If I were to describe the different musical styles employed on this album, I would truly be describing every song. Scott enters a new realm of production genius, giving club DJs exactly what they want while also producing the perfect songs for a chill night in smoking. He includes the autotuned party business he employed in past albums while also mixing in pure, clean cuts of his own voice. It was a pleasant surprise to hear an album from a trap artist with both diversity and widespread quality. Officially a Travis Scott fan. 

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enYt3dKXWkE

12. Christine and the Queens, Chris

I was also introduced to this album late in the year, and I’m glad I was because its energy was exactly what I needed. This half poppy half funky explosion of energy is what anyone needs to listen to on a down day. This album was her rebranding as Chris, an “affirmation of desire as a force of chaos” as she described in an interview with NPR. In both the album artwork and the record’s descriptions of love and identity, she plays with the fluidity of gender and its meaning in our modern era. This phenomenal record is an exercise in both shifting representations of desire and making you dance, and I’m so here for it.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjliweXTCYM

12. Kacey Musgraves. Golden Hour

This slow-rolling album is perfect for a slow day. When I initially saw this album on the top charts, I was confused - I had seen Musgraves live in 2014, I had heard “High Horse,” but what was SO special about her? It was only in taking a chunk of my day to sit and listen to this album that I caught the bug that everyone else seemed to already have. In this album, Musgraves develops into so much more of an artist than she has been in the past. She shifts from cookie-cutter radio country to a wonderfully sweet combination of cotton-candy pop and heartfelt Americana guitar riffs. Her message is positive, her lyrics are honest, and her sound is touching. I was most convinced by “Happy & Sad,” and I won’t deny that the song pulled tears out of my eyes. She conveys youthful happy energy while simultaneously acknowledging the uncertainty of that happiness, and we all needed it (even if we didn’t know it.) Plus, “High Horse” is a bop, and that’s that on that. 

13. BROCKHAMPTON, iridescence

After the expulsion of Ameer Vann from the group and the cancellation of a number of tour dates, many weren’t sure what to expect from Brockhampton in the coming weeks. The name of the upcoming album was changed, and presumably entirely new songs were recorded. Nevertheless, iridescence was received with intense anticipation from die-hard Brockhampton fans (myself among them.) The album fulfilled all hopes - with the first track, “NEW ORLEANS,” launching into an aggressive and high-energy beat, I couldn’t help but smile. Brockhampton did it yet again. The transitions between songs are seamless, and every song lends to the theatrics that they love to pull onstage. Much of the record feels like a high-speed formula one race, but the emotional “SAN MARCOS” pulls listeners into another dimension entirely. Hearing this song performed live was one of the more powerful moments of any concert I’ve ever seen - the outro was made to be passionately sung by a crowd, and it so was. And “TONYA” - wow. I could go on forever about this album.

14. Boygenius, boygenius

The cover art for this record is simple, and that simplicity shines through in its tracks. The collaboration of Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus in this project is pure magic. The music is calm, melodic, and easy to become entranced by. Their voices could lull me to sleep any day, and every song feels like it could play during the part of a movie when the protagonist stares out a car window in deep thought. Each song builds to an emotionally charged climax in exactly the tortured way that a listener would expect from these three artists. At this point, I’d be deeply sad if these three didn’t continue making music as a group. They are a gift.

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS48Lp34Zic

15. Kali Uchis, Isolation

Kali Uchis blooms in a real way in Isolation. Busting at the seams with sexy confidence, her psychedelic-funky R&B traversal of genres on this record is just perfect. Her uniquely smooth voice pulled over left-of-center beats lends itself to an album full of hits. “After the Storm” featuring Tyler the Creator gained quick popularity, and it is a good representative of the vibe that the rest of the album gives off. A laid back, sexual, happy piece of musical experimentation, Kali Uchis is here to play ball. 

16. Cardi B, Invasion of Privacy

With Invasion of Privacy, Cardi B burst onto the popular rap scene with no regrets. Every song exudes her bad bitch energy and reclaims the rap music tropes typically employed exclusively by men. While an incredible ancestry of female rappers came before her, Cardi B has broken the musical glass ceiling in a big way. She is the first female rapper to reach number one on the Billboard top 200 in over 20 years, has the most Billboard top 100 entries of any female artist in history, and many more. She is a true ‘rags-to-riches’ success story, and she’s here to tell us all about it. I’m listening.  

Must watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LPVjHxXvJM

17. Ryan Beatty, Boy in Jeans

I just saw an article titled “Ryan Beatty writes really good pop songs about boys.” This was a quite simplistic summary of what’s going on here, but it’s not wrong. Despite his vocals on Brockhampton’s “Bleach” and his frequent collaboration with the popular group, Beatty didn’t break out individually in the music scene until now. He certainly did so with this album, and he did it well. His slightly left-of-center pop featuring a voice with the consistency of caramel is exactly what everyone wants to hear. It’s the perfect music for a scenic car ride, and I’m obsessed.

18. The Decemberists, I’ll Be Your Girl

I’ve been a fan of the Decemberists for a long time, and I saw them at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley on their last tour. I would see them again in a heartbeat, and I will never get over the passion that goes into Colin Meloy’s vocal presentation. With the high-energy promotion of this album, I was expecting typical Decemberists greatness. What I got was something entirely different - greatness, but nothing typical. This electronically-infused record exposed a new side of the Decemberists that I am refreshed to hear. The addition of synth and an Arcade Fire type vibe suits them and the sort of rebranding they desired to achieve. With this album, the Decemberists evolved in a way they never have, and I applaud them for it. 

19. J. Cole, KOD

There are a number of people who love to hate on J. Cole, and I’ve never understood it. With this album in particular, J. Cole distinguished himself with both lyrics and production value. The album cover above depicts excessive drug use, and in fine print states “This album is in no way intended to glorify addiction.” This powerful message alone sets the stage for an album that means something. The subsequent subject matter of each of the record’s tracks follows this narrative - a description of being stuck in the ways of drug addiction. I have always appreciated J. Cole for his ability to tell a complete story through an album despite the lack of a chronological order or common plot in each song. The album shows the deterioration of a drug addict - from the high of “KOD” to  the contemplative pain of “Once an Addict (Interlude).” 

20. Kendrick Lamar, Black Panther the Album

Everything produced surrounding the Black Panther movie was a hit. The power of this movie and the contributors to this album is unparalleled. Aside from the clear message that this media sent, every song is phenomenal. “All the Stars” displays SZA’s ridiculous vocal prowess. “X” is the perfect hype song, displaying Kendrick’s sassy and innovative lyrical technique. In “The Ways,” Khalid’s sweet voice embodies the beauty of the powerful woman he describes. “I Am” by Jorja Smith absolutely knocks the album out of the park - this stunningly sexy track propelled her onto the music scene, and thank god it did. I’d listen forever if I could. I’d go on, but every song on this album is an iconic collaboration. 

Must watch: the movie.

21. Houndmouth, Golden Age

This album is so painfully underrated. If you want a pick me up, listen to Golden Age. Immediately. From the album’s floaty start to the explosive mood of the album’s namesake track, it’s all hits and no misses. Embracing a completely different musical tone from their last album, Houndmouth seizes a futuristic alt-rock cacophony as their new style. Taking nods from 80s Phil Collins numbers (the beginning of Strange Love... come on!), they take us back to a golden age of sorts while also propelling us to a fun future. I will never not dance my pants off to this album.