#i kin all the stanleys i know

[kjzlstuio]

My name is Stanley .

[fictionkinfessions]

Man. Rewatching gravity falls as a Ford kin sure is. Something. Every time I'm on screen I just think "jesus was i this much of a pretentious asshole???" And. Ugh. It makes sense in my head, what I did, but thinking about all of it from an outside perspective, eough. No wonder half the fandom absolutely hates me. I'm so sorry, Stanley. I wish I was a better brother to you, one you deserved, instead of a know-it-all with a stick up my ass.

x

[yandere-x-reader]

➼ Dividers done by @/cafekitsune

Color Code: Romantic, Platonic, Either

MHA / BNHA ♡

Mezo Shoji, Koji Koda, Rikido Sato, Tenya Ida, Hanta Sero, Shoto Todoroki, Momo Yaoyorozu, Katsuki Bakugo, Eijiro Kirishima, Mashirao Ojiro, Yuga Aoyama, Denki Kaminari, Izuku Midoriya, Mina Ashido, Fumikage Tokoyami, Ochaco Uraraka, Kyoka Jiro, Toru Hagakure, Tsuyu Asui, Hitoshi Shinso, Mirio Togata, Nejire Hado, Tamaki Amajiki, Hizashi Yamada, Present Mic, Shota Aizawa/Eraserhead, Enji Todoroki/Endeavor, Keigo Takami/Hawks, Rumi Usagiyama/Mirko, Yu Takeyama/Mt. Lady, Toshinori Yagi/All Might, Kugo Sakamata/Gang Orca, Taishiro Toyomitsu/Fat Gum, Emi Fukukado/Miss Joke, Nemuri Kayama/Midnight, Sekijiro Kan/Vlad King, Nezu, Eri Aizawa

FNAF:SB ♡

Sun, Moon, Roxy, Monty, Glamrock Freddy, Glamrock Chica, DJMM, Vannesa/Vanny, Gregory, Map Bot

Encanto

Luisa, Mirable, Isabella, Delores,Camilo, Alma, Pepa, Bruno, Julieta, Felix, Agustin, Antonio

Gravity Falls ♡

Bill Chipher, Stanley, Stanford, Mable, Dipper.

OCs ♡

To be added

Anonymous asks

I am perfectly fine with anyone using anonymous asks, I personally use them a lot. However if you use anonymous asks, please put a emoji(s) or a letter(s) as your signature. Just put it at the bottom of your ask and I'll add it to the list

Used Letters:

Used Emojios:

I will write

Different AU's: I can do all diffrent types! Pirate, mafia, hybrid, fantasy, royalty, mermaid, soulmates, mall workers, vampires, ghosts, ect. Or if you have your own AU and would like me to do somthing with it I can tolltally do that to.

Omegaverse: I know not everyone likes this trope but i'm a absaloute sucker for it. I can do Alpha, Beta, or Omega for charecters or Reader. I do write heats but not in a sexual way, i personally write them kinda like a human period but replace the blood with increased body tempetures.

Any Gender: I am personally genderfluid and AFAB so those are the two that I would have the most experience with. However if you want me to do somthing like a trans reader or AMAB reader than I can try my best. Don't be afraid to make it specific to you, everone is diffrent and I understand trying to look for something that fits you more than the stereotypes.

Crossovers: I don't see a lot of creators in any fandom doing crossovers a lot. I see like *Insert charecter* x reader with *insert other character* personality but not really crossovers. So feel free to request a crossover with a diffrent show.

Any skin color: I love having variety in my writing so I will do any skin colors. I can do basic skin colors, from pale peach to dark brown. I can also do exstream versions like skin that is nearly paper white from how pale it is or skin that us nearly space black from how dark it is. I can also do unnatural skin colors, like Mina!

Alterhuman Reader: Ok so I see absaloutly no alterhuman reader fanfics out there so i'm here to change that. I'm not personally a alterhuman but I do have a few freinds that are. If you want me to do a specific one instead of basic I can also do that. Like instead of a dragon kin I can do a dragon kin with space wing and starts eyes with claws that glow in the dark ect.

Body Marks: I personally have stretch marks, moles, freckles, and odd placed birthmarks so I can do any of these or others if you would like. If you are specifically extra self-conscious of your body marks than I can add extra levels of love to specific part if you would like :)

Feel free to requests anything as long as it's not in my will not write list!

I will not write

Abuse: I will not do the character inflicting pain on the reader or the reader inflicting pain on the charecter. I can do mentions of past abuse, such as a charecter or reader flinching at touch or loud noise.

Cheating: character doing it to reader or reader doing it to character is just a big no. I never understood cheating, if you don't love somone just break up with them. If you can't do it for safety reson than find a support system to protect you in dangerous situations.

Misscarage: I have lost three sibling to this and I still cry at night thinking of them, please don't ask me to do anything to do with this subject. If you do I will give you 1 warning and then I'm blocking you.

Abortion: I don't really have a side here but I don't like the though of writing it as it makes me uncomfortable.

Rape/SA: I don't feel comfortable doing this subject. I can not do mentions of it as I have not personally experienced it and don't want to miss somthing or do something wrong.

NSFW: I may be a yandere blog but I do not wish to do anything sexual on this blog, only romantic and platonic here.

Note

Don't worry about being cringe with me! As long as your not hurting anyone than why should I stop you from having fun? Fell free to be your authentic self and request somthing super specific if you want.

[neapolitanhaha]

Welcome to my corner of the internet!!!

I'm Apple! Just your average robot trying to figure out how to exist!

Info:

Name: Apple (or Jon. Idk)

Age: 15

Gender/Pronouns: agender - she/any

Orientation: bi + ace

HUOH! TAKEN! By the IRL Martin Blackwood ong

Likes: Fandoms (preferably small fandoms), food (specifically chicken nuggets), sleeping, lamps, goobers, cats, salmon, winter, dragons (will ramble for hours), b r e a d, sweaters, s t a r i n g.

Dislikes: Loud noises, excited dogs, pollen (is allergic), mosquitos (VERY allergic), strong spices, lots of clothes, summer.

Special interests: THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES!! , Dragons, Malevolent, cats, I Expect You To Die, Portal, The Stanley Parable, Rise of the TMNT, Megamind (somehow), autism ironically, Hazbin Hotel, science in general.

Kinned characters: Jonathan Sims (TMA), Donnie (ROTTMNT), The Narrator (TSP), Wheatley (Portal 2), Noelle (Deltarune), Pheonix (IEYTD), Megamind (c'mon, you know this one), William Afton (FNAF- don't ask.), The Spot (Spider-man ATSV), Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel)

I might make some comics. I might post art. But a good deal of time I will be rambling or reblogging whatever I want so have fun with that <33

Family:

@mikebeanz @kredena-dark @diona-98 @itz-rona220 @mightyanxiety @ofthefrogs @taperecorder-gizmo And so many more I can't list them all-

Ive also got 2 TMA rp blogs

@kittenssketchbook & @twistingtendons

[emperor-starscream]

Starscream's Introduction Post !!!

(Also totally check out my Strawpage too)

I haven't done one of these in a long time so I think it'd be a good idea to show you what my blog is about!

Hi, I'm Starscream! I also go by Kaz, and Ban. You may originally know me as "Jelly" but i've changed a LOT since 2018

I'm Transmasc, AND Seekergender!

(Seekergender is basically just a xenogender I use to describe myself as a Seeker, or a Robot. The desire to not be perceived as human, rather Cybertronian)

I'm a minor, so NSFW/18+ blogs PLEASE do not interact! I will block freely if I am uncomfortable with something!

FANDOMS/INTERESTS INCLUDE: Transformers, The Stanley Parable, The Summer Hikaru Died, Welcome To Hell, Gravity Falls, Cookie Run Kingdom/Ovenbreak, EverymanHybrid, Marble Hornets, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Phighting, Danganronpa, Wakfu, Sonic The Hedgehog, My little Pony, Friday Night Funkin, QSMP, Las Nevadas lore

(Note: At the end of this post I'll post my kinlist too, it's totally awesome (lie))

INTERACT IF...

You like Starscream!

Multishipper

Any of the fandoms above are your interests!

Artists

Animators

You believe cringe culture is dead!(I do)

DNI IF...

(Some of these are FANDOM specific! please don't interact with me if you support any of the following. I am extremely uncomfortable with these due to my own experiences)

Basic dni criteria(Homophobic, Racist, Zionist, ETC.)

topics or games such as/including S/A

Killing stalking

Boyfriend to death

S/H + ED

Megastar & Megastar shippers/defenders

Blitzbee

Windstar

Starscream x His trinemates(Skywarp & Thundercracker)

Subkit

Subhammer

minors who interact with NSFW/18+ content freely

MY KINLIST/CHARACTERS I HEAVILY RELATE TOO

(Note part 489(/j): Some of these are also comfort/selfships of mine)

Main Kins !

Starscream

Karl

Ban Hammer

Stanley

Bill Cipher

Sock Sowachowski

Kazuichi Souda

Kiibo/K1-B0

Hollyberry Cookie

Comforts !

Quackity(QSMP/Las Nevadas)

Slimecicle(QSMP)

Vinestaff

Kokichi Ouma

Skyfire

Bumblebee

Wreck-Gar

White Lily Cookie

The Climber

(I'll add more to this later)

ANYWAYS TO END THIS OFF, here's my awesome STRAWPAGE I linked to at the start of the post.

HAVE AT THEE! ALL THE STAMPS I COLLECTED WHILE MAKING THIS !

-Yours truly, Lord Starscream !

[androgynous-anime-princess]

Heyyy!!! I have finally decided to make a dang intro lolz

Uhhh here’s some basic info :3

I’m a fictionkin of many characters, all seemingly from different canons even if they’re the same media 💔

I literally use almost any name that could relate to my kintypes.

My pronouns are they/them and para/paras

I’m a certified girlkissing genderless being who is also asexual

Hyperfixated on KNY and will not shut up about it ever 💔

I make art so I mightttt share it here :3 (I will)

Here’s a list of my kins for some references to names!

Also I’m aware some of these are problematic but I cannot pick my kintypes and I regret anything that may have occurred.

Elizabeth Afton, Cyn, Nina The Killer, Nezuko Kamado, p.AI.nter, Archangel Gabriel, Stanley Pines, Kate Hayes (the Chaser), Mrs. Graves, Cassidy (FNaF), Ennard, Folly (Regretevator), Lady Tamayo, Daki/Ume, Obanai Iguro, Kanae Kochō, Enmu Tamio and possible others but who knows 😒

Uhhh yah :3

[jakewebberswifee]

hi guys , get to know me !

my name is sam , im an average riverdale kid

artists i like : taylor swift , the cure , alex g , mcafferty , olivia rodrigo , wallows , chappell roan , negative xp , the moldy peaches , hollywood undead , kimya dawson , micheal cera , elvis presley , eminem , laufey , ayesha arotica , etc. (basic music taste ik.)

shows/movies : riverdale , shameless , sex education, im not okay with this , avatar the last airbender , stranger things , st elmo fire , the outsiders , lady bird , ten things i hate about you , juno , mid90s , sixteen candles , breakfast club , priscilla , titanic , mysterious skin , IT 2017/1990s , but im a cheerleader , etc.

kins: ian gallagher , mickey milkovich , richie tozier , stan uris , stan marsh , robin buckley , kenny mccormick , stanley barber , sydney novak , will byers , mike wheeler , shawn hunter , zuko , toph beifong , sokka , max mayfield , victoria spring , jughead jones , stevie , rubien , ladybird , juno , neil mccormick , etc.

celebrity crushes: MATT DILLION , cameron monaghan , josh hutcherson , chris sturniolo , dylan minette , joesph gorden levitt.. thats all for now or else im gonna be here all day

i mostly just reblog things

[dvriwhxrvmxv]

JOURNAL 4 Entry 1

(only entry)

Welcome to my intro! Please take a short time to read this as it will help you gather your bearings on my profile,

This blog is 18+, for gore, mentions / depictions of abuse, and S3XU4L content.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I am a fictive from the HYPERBOREAN SYSTEM.

If I like a post or follow you, it will show up as THIS profile. as mine is a side blog

Name: Stanford Filbrick Pines. However you can call me Ford

Age: 58. the Body is 22.

Pronouns: any/all

I am always looking for sourcemates. I dearly miss everyone. I am specifically looking for, in no particular order:

Sherman "Shermie" Pines, Stanley Pines,

Mason "Dipper" Pines, Mabel Pines,

and Fiddleford Hadron McGucket.

I do not care if you're kin or a fictive. And I'll talk to anyone else from gravity falls even if we didn't know each other well. ( as long as you're 18+ )

My Spotify playlist is: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4eVn3nUrk3se4GkMQ6bgik?si=Op-NAMOoTZ62GoWiTbvjZQ&pi=u-i-9B33h6SkeZ

Some of my primary interests are:

🎮Video games: PC and a bit of console ( once you really get into it, they're great! I was a bit stand-Offish towards electronics before, but it's really come a long way! F was right, personal computers or "Laptops" weren't just a phase )

🛸 Sci fi genre of media: ( Star Trek, Space odyssey, IHNMAIMS, Futurama, The Twilight zone, etc. )

🦋 Moths: self explanatory. ( It's no secret I'm a bit of a lepidopterist. I love their fuzzy little exoskeletons, they're like butterflies but fatter! What isn't to like about that? )

If you're not a source mate but wish to interact anyway based on interests or other, Don't be shy! I don't bite!

I suppose that's all. I don't want to drag this post on for too long or else people won't read it

-The Author

[little-green-forest]

*★*Welcome Creatures*★*

~You can call me Forestry, Mavrin, Nexis, Trawlli, MePhonie, and/or Clancy. I go by it/spoon/bugger/fool pronouns.

~MePhone4 (II) and Clancy Gilroy (TMG) fictkin

~Asexual, Grey-aromantic, Demiboy

~Diagnosed ADHD, Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, and Severe Anxiety Disorder; suspected Autism

~Spam liking/reblogging is fine and welcome! Just don't be weird about messages

~Requests are open but I only really draw character stuff (check fandom list).

~I use tone tags a lot because I'm terrified of being misread but I won't use them with ppl that state they are uncomfortable with it.

~I tag my all favourite characters on reblogsss

! THE ONLY THING NOT TOLERATED IS INTOLERANCE !

racists/ misogynists/ antisemites/ zionists/ queerphobes/ rad "fems"/ exclusionists/ all identities of prejudice or abuse DNI until you learn what is true and beautiful.

Other, more specific DNI criteria:

-If you identify as proship I don't like you but I don't see most ships as inheritly proship- only if you're interpretation of it romanticises or glorifies abusive/ underage/ incestual behaviours

-I consider anti-lesboys (or anti other "non-valid" identiys) as exclusionists. I find it very weird we have a double-standard when it comes to lesboys bc it's just an identity and it doesn't hurt anyone. (That being said, there is a difference between choosing an identity for oneself and forcing one onto others. I get where the antis are coming from if they think all lesboys are just transphobic or something but this is rarely the case- do your research before blindly invalidateing/harassing ppl)

-I am a minor!! I have no issues with nsfw/kink accounts existing in their own space but don't show or talk about that stuff with me!

List stuff under cut:

Alt accounts:

@little-green-forestart (creative name, ik) Side blog for just my art

(temporarily inactive) @ashfurs-second-wife Warrior cats side blog

(inactive) @freedomblocked Deltarune side blog

Bluesky

(temporary inactive) YouTube

Fandoms:

( *means hyperfixation ★means current)

*Original Characters (OC)/Furry

★*Object Shows (The ones I know in order of favourites: ONEhfj, IVOS, ION, II, Paper Puppets, Search for SMOS, BURNER/5SOS/OBS/BfG ect... (Sacri-verse), OBJECTIFIED, TBO, BfDI, EfAR, LotS, TFMI, ProtOS, TNM, Showvember, Planet Hoppers, TDOS, BfP, Objection, Object Kerfuffle, THANOS, ITft/RftK, Community Venture, Twilight Orchards, PaS, C2bC, Object Fool/Animatic Battle, A is for, OBCity, MOSS, and Object Terror)

★*The Midnight Gospel

*Deltarune

*Undertale

*Steven Universe

Warrior Cats

Giraffe Town

My Little Pony

★*Pokemon

Cult of the Lamb

*Moths (the insect, not a media)

*The Stanley Parable

Sonic the Hedgehog

Animal Crossing

Happy Tree Friends

Camp Camp

Bojack Horseman

Gooseworks/The Amazing Digital Circus

Top Favourite Characters + Notes Bc I need Somewhere to Talk About Them:

Airy (hfjONE)- Me when forever changed by isolation. I relate to and project on him so much I should probably kin him and I'm honestly unsure if/why I don't. I probably do but I have a job so I can't worry about that rn. Also old man boyfailer.

Bryce (hfjONE)- Boyfailer again but middleaged edition. I understand, and love to analyse his trauma responses.

MePhone4 (Inanimate Insanity)- I project my period cramps onto him. I think he's genuinely saved my life a couple times bc I remember that if I kms I won't be able to see him again. I am normal and mentally stable! Anyway, escapeism + BPD coated + PDA response + blue hair and pronouns

Blueberry (Inanimate Insanity)- He fucking sucks <3

Clancy Gilroy (The Midnight Gospel)- He's me. He's so chill, open, and understanding, or at least trys to be, but when he does get made it's so strong and blinding that he becomes easily snippy and has to isolate himself to calm down. All he wants to do is observe other people and their perspectives. Moral OCD coated.

[travelingarden]

No matter how far I go, I always return to a central feature of my personal garden; writing.

I had the opportunity to visit Vancouver, B.C. for the first time a few weeks back.

It was a work trip, so I was tempted to shut myself in my hotel room other than the daily obligations, but I was pulled out into the world with the rumor of a beautiful park just a few miles away.

Stanley Park offered a much-needed reprieve from worker/performance mode. I was most excited to visit with the rhododendron garden the map promised I'd find within the park. The flower garden was more than I could have dreamed. A vibrantly multi-colored patch singing in shades of pink, white, purple, fuchsia, and red, with green leaves all lush and bushy, some were as tall as trees.

I've been missing the annual bloom of azalea and other rhododendron kin, since moving to southern Arizona in 2023.

I grew up along side them and they are some of the first flowers I remember being fascinated and inspired by. Many heart-blazing writing sessions went down on their whimsical watch.

Standing among them, I felt an overwhelming sense of creative power building all around me. Rhododendron reminds us how crucial uniqueness is to nature and the world. The kind of shining that comes naturally doesn't take study, or striving, or masking, although I am certain that every year the flowers try to give their best face. These brilliantly colored and theatrically made flowers are natural performers. They didn't have to try to stop anyone in their tracks with their gorgeous dresses and fairy-like forms, it simply is that way.

For a few years now, I've been caught in the vines of striving, studying, perfecting. I'm grateful for all I've learned, the teachers, and the community I've gained.

I'm also ready to cut loose from the twisting branches and claim my beingness. Although I'm still a novice gardener, when it comes to the little piece of soil I've cultivated inside myself, I feel the steady fertile ness that comes from walking and working the landscape.

I know enough to know now, that everything I needed, was literally already here, covered in dirt, tucked away behind thick groves of trees.

I thought I needed to become something different to be of service in this world. I considered all the many ways I could train and change to be what was useful and yet I neglected the sacred wisdom of the rhodedendron in this way of thinking.

There is usefulness in everything, even beauty for the sake of pure wonder and inspiration is useful.

That is how it feels for me to write. There is no end goal, although I have many dreams and intentions. There is no why other than the simple pleasure of creating.

Fiction writing is a key aspect of my heart's way of creating. It is something I have done for my entire life and after years of searching for purpose, for specialness, for how to best be in service, I've surrendered to what I know to be true.

My heart's desire is to write stories.

And So it is. The gardening continues as it has, one season to the next, with new blooms, some failures, prayers for abundant rain, and a hope to be present for the sunny days.

[sobeksewerrat]

☆~~Elvina The Cock-Kicker~~☆

prolly gonna update or change this later (updated: 25/5/24 [d/m/y])

Uh, hello! Name's Elvina (I also go by AnDrew/AnDrea! And Argo aswell, but you need permission from me to use that one), but you can call me whatever lol

(There is also Eara'as, but who cares-)

Update on 24/2/24: Fuck it I am naming myself Adam too. Yes, after the guy from Hazbin. Sue me. It is one of my favourite names now.

-> لو انت بتكلم عربي و عايز تكلمني بيه ممكن تقلي ربيع او مروان برده!!

I'm an amateur artist and writer; currently trying to graduate as soon as humanly possible (and high school has been kicking my ass)

My tagline is "kinda bored ngl"; seriously it's been in the bio of every social media account I have ever owned since 2019 at some point or another it's actually insane, WHY AM I SO BORED?!?

this intro post pretty much only looks good with the "Vampire" theme, if you don't have that, then it sucks to suck, i guess.

BEFORE YOU INTERACT!!

☆I have a full Rules post but these are some others not included in that or TL;DRs.

-> I block very liberally, but I never just randomly block a mutual (unless it is a joke like in the freakblr war or they did sth horrible). I have severe anxiety so I tend to just block anybody who I feel is aggressive (intentionally or otherwise) or weirds me out.

-> I have a really broken sense of humour and I post a lot about inside jokes and stuff with my mutuals. I know I can't stop you, but if we're not mutuals or you're not involved in whatever inside joke I am talking about please dni with the posts. Once a joke of mine blew up and I deleted the original post and made my friends delete their rbs so people would stop seeing it.

-> I tend to forget to tag TWs properly. If I forget to tag sth, please inform me!!

Fandoms:

Special Interest (persumably): The Music Freaks

Hyperfixations: Ace Attorney, Luca(2021), The Stanley Parable, Story Thieves, Scott Pilgrim , Hazbin Hotel , Avatar: The Last Airbender

Danganronpa V3 [yes, V3 specifically.I don't interact with the fandom much]

Mark and Friends/The World of Mr.Plant

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Blue's Story (Victaton)

Big Hero 6

DDLC

Diary of A Wimpy Kid (mainly the Dysfunctional Perspective fancomic)

Al Kabeer (not a fandom technically but who cares)

Sonic

Jackson's Diary

Aurora (red osp)

Riordanverse (including KC and MCGA)

Unfamiliar (Lavendertowne)

FNAF

Omori

Helluva Boss

Obey Me!

Ramshackle

Buncha other stuff that I am too lazy to name (might edit as i post about them)

Fandom Stuff to Tag Me In!!

My Kins!!

Random Bullshit:

Egyptian

fav colour is red

Professional Faggot since 2018 (legally)

Aro/Ace (achillean)

Agender / Aboy (transmasc, pronouns: he/him)

Basically just your local pathetic trans boy with mommy AND daddy issues (the whole package!)

INFP

Born in spooky month, loves spooky month

OCD, ADHD, self-diagnosed Autism

Biochemistry nerd. I didn't mean to be one but there was just something very intruiging about toxicology. Blame Lavendertowne.

Massive multi-shipper (also i like crackships, A LOT)

Coffee, vimto and soda addict (blame cockitchy ouma)

Fav. fictional chr. of all time: ✨Manfred von Karma✨(PW:AA)

Drew and Milly kinnie (TMF)

I am Drew irl, all I say about him is canon, I even run the rp blog, don't question me

✨✨✨LEADER OF THE ANTI-DARK REUNION✨✨✨

Menace to society, according to all of my irl friends, and just people who know me (just ask my freakblr mutuals, they'll tell you).

Minor, obv.

Never truly grew out of my Gacha phase

Other Blogs

Tags

Artfol: sobeksewerrat (not super active there lol)

Wattpad: ElvinaHS

AO3: sobeksewerrat

pronouns

Have a great day/ night!!

Your favourite god,

Sober Skewart 🐊🍻

[stanleysbuttonblog]

Stanley was sitting in his room. He felt rather relieved that {SCEPTER} had managed to get out, but he was still… worried. Surely, whatever Xigbar had done to make that happen would be delicate and precarious. It could all fall apart, so easily…

But right now, it wasn’t. It was safe. So Stanley took comfort in that (relative, temporary) safety.

Right now, he was working on a friendship bracelet. It had lots of pink threads from a light strawberry-smoothie shade, to a neon hot pink, to a deep maroon. He also managed to get some beads, which he was weaving in at semi-random intervals.

There was a small duck charm, a heart, a little slice of cake, a tiny hand making a peace-sign, and a flower charm– it was hard to tell what kind it was exactly, since it was so small, but Stanley thought it was a daffodil.

It was nice to have something to do while he waited. Plus, he got to make a gift for his friend! That would make {SCEPTER} feel so happy!

She needed to feel happy right now, after this whole situation with her ex. And Stanley was sure that this bracelet could only make her feel better.

And then, Stanley heard a sound from his computer.

He looked up from his work to check his tumblr, and saw that Xigbar had invited him over to get some practice with the gun. Stanley smiled to himself as he responded– Xigbar was clearly looking for an excuse to just hang out, but he just didn't want to admit it.

But no, it seemed that Xigbar felt it was necessary to take things a bit farther– he wanted Stanley to practice aiming and shooting at targets.

Alright! That sounded… well, it sounded a bit intimidating, but Stanley felt pretty confident that he would be able to do it. He’d at least be able to do some of it, and the point of this was to learn. Surely Xigbar wouldn’t make fun of him for being inexperienced.

So, Stanley set down his bracelet, closed his laptop, and headed over the other apartment.

The door was open. Xigbar was flopped on the couch remnants (he still hadn't called the kins, evidently), idly twirling an arrowgun on one finger. He was wrapped in some kind of comforter. 

[Hey!] Stanley signed with a smile. [So, gun practice?]

"Yeah." He stopped twirling the arrowgun, catching it with a skilled hand, and looked up at Stanley. "No reason to give you a gun if you can't shoot. If you miss the kneecaps, what's the point?"

[Threatening him? Having a gun would make me look cool! That would help.]

"Dude. No." Xigbar shook his head and hissed under his breath. "Threats don't mean shit if you can't back them up."

[But how would he know that? I look threatening!]

"... Absolutely fucking no you do not."

Stanley frowned and then sighed. [Okay… well, I did want to do gun practice, anyway. So. Uh. Lead on!]

Xigbar nodded and stood, shedding his blanket. The air sort of… shimmered.

Stanley felt a sort of pull, all around his bones and skin, and then, he was in the field. His muscles sort of… all felt like jelly and he fell over onto his face. Right into the grass. Oof.

"... Sorry." Xigbar didn't try to help him up, but an apology was something!

Stanley stood up, brushed himself off, and then gave a dual thumbs up to Xigbar. He pulled out his gun– checked the safety, with a pointed look, and then held it carefully.

"Good. Always check the safety." He pulled out a small notepad and gave Stanley a look. "Don't look at my notes. I'm grading you."

Stanley nodded and turned away from Xigbar, facing the table. He glanced back at Xigbar expectantly.

"Alright. Aim at one of those bottles and take a shot. I want to see what you need to work on." Then, as if absentmindedly, he said, "Your favorite color is orange, right?"

Stanley blinked and turned back around. He frowned, and then nodded.

It seemed as though he wanted to say more, but he blinked again, shook off his stupor, and took aim.

The gun kicked out of his hands when he fired, but… He did hit a bottle. The sound of the glass breaking was loud. 

"Okay. So. Wow, that was terrible."

Stanley frowned. He sighed and shook his head, and then sat the gun down– checking the safety, and making sure it was on as he did so.

[It was terrible.] he signed, though somewhat argumentatively, [Because you just said ‘shoot it.’ I thought you were going to teach me gun practice.]

"I didn't expect you to be that bad. Okay."

[I have done nothing that would prepare me for this. What do you– I don’t think there’s even any guns in the Parable, much less any that function.]

"... Okay. So. I guess then let's start from the basics. It's not your aim that's the problem, you did hit the bottle." Xigbar crossed his arms. "Pick it up. But don't fire until I say."

Stanley reached down to grab the gun, checked the safety, and then held it. He looked to Xigbar, and then looked back at the bottles.

Xigbar looked at him, pointedly checked a watch (he does not wear a watch), and then, after a full minute, he nodded. "Okay. Take a breath. Hold it, then let it out slowly when you fire. Squeeze the trigger, don't pull it."

Stanley breathed in, focused, and then squeezed the trigger as he simultaneously let out a breath.

The gun didn't fall this time, but it didn't hit, either. Technically that was still better, right?

"Did you aim?"

Stanley frowned, thought, and then made kind of a shrugging motion. Sort of a ‘Yeah I think? Probably? Maybe. I don’t know.’ kind of shrug.

Xigbar pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, you didn't. You have to aim, Stanley."

Stanley nodded, and aimed the gun at the next bottle. The one he’d missed. Technically. Because, y’know, he. Hadn’t actually broken it.

"Again."

Stanley fired, repeating the same motions he had been instructed before. Breathe in, hold, squeeze, and breathe out.

The bottle shattered.

"Finally! Okay. Try hitting the next three." He paused again. "Didn't you say you were going to stop eating buttons?"

Stanley tried hitting the next three. And he tried pretty well! He repeated the motions; aim, breathe, hold, squeeze, out. 

He managed to hit the first two, but the last one… nope.

He turned back to Xigbar, checked the safety and set the gun down, freeing up his hands.

[I did not say that. Are you– why would you think I’d say that? I’m not going to make a promise I can’t keep.]

"Ah. My bad, don't know where I saw that. Maybe I dreamed it." 

[Okay?]

"Okay. So, that wasn't awful." Closest to praise he'd ever gotten from him."You got most of the ones you aimed at."

[Yeah!]

"That's better. This is what I want to see. Try and get the rest of them. If you miss, just skip that bottle and we'll see how many are still there afterward."

Stanley nodded, picked up the gun again– checked the safety– and then positioned himself.

He took aim at, and fired at, the rest of the remaining bottles. His technique was starting to improve; he could feel Xigbar’s instructions guiding him a bit better than before.

He was improving! He was learning! With Xigbar. Yay!

He hit five of the remaining seven bottles, skipping only two. Stanley turned back to Xigbar and grinned a little.

"Alright!" Xigbar clapped him on the back. "Good! You're actually not that bad a shot! That was pretty decent, especially for someone who I'm assuming has never held a gun before I handed it to you."

Stanley checked the safety, set the gun down, and then signed.

[Yeah, I’ve never held a gun before this whole thing. None in the Parable, like I said. I mean, I’ve seen pictures of them. But that’s... yeah. I haven’t used one before.]

"Not bad. Guess handing it to you was a decent idea."

[Yeah! I’m glad you gave it to me. Now I can shoot kneecaps.]

"Alright, calm down, killer."

Stanley smiled happily. [I feel– this is really nice, Xigbar. Just hanging out! It’s not nearly as stressful as I would have thought.]

"Yeah, well. You're not gonna get stuck in the same place as that fuckin' guy defenseless."

[Yeah, guns are a good defense! And he deserves to get shot.]

"Damn right he does. As soon as Showie and I get the chance, he's dead."

[Yeah.] Stanley signed with great emphasis.

"Why do you call her 'scepter'?"

[It’s a sign name. Like yours is {STRIPES}. She asked me to use {SCEPTER} in place of her name.]

"So, then, what's her actual name?"

[She… she asked me not to tell a soul. I. I mean I know you guys are dating and everything but. I don’t know if… I should?]

"We're not- I don't have a soul. Technically speaking."

[Oh, well then it’s [REDACTED].]

"... Interesting."

[What?]

"Nothing, nothing. Don't worry about it." He scribbled something down on his notepad.

[Oh, okay. Are we done with the gun practice?]

"Eh, yeah. You seem like you're good enough. If you want to try it again at all, I'm gonna leave the stuff out here."

[Oh. Thanks!]

"You go do… Whatever."

[Can we go back to the apartments? With your fast-travel?]

"Don't call it fast travel. I'm not from a fucking video game."

[I wasn’t… I know you’re not? Of course you’re not. That’s just– is that not what you call it?]

"It's warping, dumbass. Teleportation." 

[Okay, well, normal people can’t teleport at all. They do taxes and go to work and talk about the weather. So. How was I supposed to know that?]

"It's better than saying fuckin' 'fast travel', like I'm from goddamn Skyrim." He scoffed.

[It’s what I’m most familiar with. The Narrator is– he uses that sort of. Terminology. For things outside of the office.]

"That's stupid." 

[Yeah, he’s often stupid. Idiot god, and all that, y’know?]

Xigbar didn't say anything, only raised an eyebrow and kept scribbling on his notepad. This must be some grade.

[Are you… done? Can we teleport?]

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Hang on." The air shimmered again. This time was less disorienting.

It felt more akin to… a restart, actually. One that had come out of nowhere, and jarringly placed him back to where he belonged. But no part of his body hurt, he felt in control, and he did not fall over this time.

"Okay… You go do whatever it is the hell you do. I'm gonna go call Showie and give her an update on your progress."

[Wait, you can– you can talk to her?]

"Yeah, apparently phones work there. Or, at least, they connect to here "

[No, just– wow. I’m impressed you managed to swing that, given how much of a dick her ex is.]

"She's not with him anymore. In her own apartment."

[Oh! That’s– well, that’s great. Tell her I say hi!]

"... Yeah, sure. Okay."

[Bye, {STRIPES}!]

"... Bye." 

He teleported away, presumably back to his apartment. Feeling better about his chances in the divorce tournament, Stanley sat down on the couch and began to reread the waffle iron manual. Now that was literature.

[electionfraudking]

(Takes place several hours before xigbar is brought to bfd)

Xigbar brought the cloak this time. Leaving it behind before was a mistake he wouldn't make twice. Blanket was NOT fuckin' enough.

He hauled the last of the bodies up from the sort of. Morgue/freezer setup Showie had up to the makeshift lab he'd put together under the Kins Storage. He didn't know how far underground he was, but it had to be pretty deep. All the better for human experimentation, he supposed. Not like that's an above ground activity.

He dialed her number on his phone, and she picked up instantly.

“Hey.” She said.

"Hey, doll. Finally got all the bodies down here."

“Great. And you brought the cloak?”

"Yeah. Not doing this without it again. The blanket was nowhere near enough."

“Ha-ha. Got you to admit you didn’t bring the cloak last time even though you said you did.”

"Boooooooo. You suck. Run me through the steps again?"

“You got the body all laid out, yeah?”

"Well. More or less. Kinda just flopped. Carrying a bunch of bodies down here is hard work, okay? Leave me alone." He didn't mean it do NOT leave him alone.

“Okay, okay. Pick one and get it in a separate area. For this experiment we’re gonna revive them over and over and over to see what happens. Run your choice by me, though. No one valuable.”

"Well, the options today are…" He checked the bodies. "Jeremy Heere, Sasha Waybright, Default Mii, Qifrey, and Stede Bonnet. Figured it'd be a good idea to start with the freshest ones."

“Ooooh-kay,” She said, and he heard a tapping noise.

"What's that sound?" He asked.

“Stanley brought me my laptop! I’m taking notes!” Her voice sounded bright. “Anyway, let’s start with,,,,, Stede. Not a teenager and not a non-human. Looking at his historical file there is little of value to lose, memory wise. Additionally, he was in team We Cause Problems.”

"Damn, alright. So I just kill and revive him over and over? How many times, do you think?"

“Take notes each time, maybe ask a set of questions? Record his responses as you go. Maybe,,,, Do you know where you are, do you know who i am, do you know who you are, etc? And keep an eye on his physical form as well. Uh- the kins, they put everyone in hospital gowns, yes?”

"Yeah, they're in the hospital gowns." He looked over the bodies and shook his head in disappointment. "Man, I was hoping Sasha was gonna win that round. I like her. Kid's got guts."

“Well, nothings permanent when you have necromancy!” She said brightly. “We can exclude her from the subject pool and- oh, here’s an idea. Start with her, she’ll be our control. Bring her back once and then set her aside.”

"Works for me." Xigbar grinned. "Perks of being named vice showrunner, huh?" He pulled Sasha aside and set her up to be resurrected.

“Oh, definitely. When this is through we can make you a bracket and switch places.”

"I could make you election fraud queen- we can have matching sashes."

“Maybe that’ll happen in the couple battle? That tournament runner and I had a very nice chat just last night.”

"Ha- why does that make me nervous?" He pulled on the cloak. Gonna remember that every goddamn time now. Hell, he even brought a couple spares.

"Going silent for a minute. Gotta do the thing." He set up the sigil and then lit it. He heard Showie quietly counting down on the other end of the line.

“Okay, get ready~” She said.

The room filled with frigid wind. Most of which went around the cloak, like it had a- No Shit, Xigbar, of course it had a force field. Not like that was Showie’s specialty or anything.

She waited a few more seconds until the real cold hit, then said, “Well, it probably makes you nervous because we were talking about you!”

"You wha-" the words were stolen from his lungs when the Real cold hit. Damn you, Showie. Why does he even work for you. You suck.

“Oh, it was nothing bad,” She said, and he could hear her grin. “15 more seconds until Sasha begins moving!”

"Then why did you say it like that?!" Oh. Cheat code. Breathe THROUGH the cloak. The air is still cold, but it doesn't straight up hurt like that.

“Say it like what?” She said innocently.

Sasha begin to writhe, 15 seconds after that, the air returned to normal and she sat up, gasping.

“The questions,” She reminded him. As if he needed reminding.

"Swear to god, I'm gonna-" Ough. This woman. Xigbar cleared his throat. He grabbed his notepad off the table. "Hey, kid. Can you tell me who you are?"

"S-Sasha Waybright," she responded. Still seeming a bit out of it. Xigbar wrote it all down, the name and her condition.

"And do you know where you are?"

"It was…" Sasha put her face in her hand, like she had a migraine. "Some kind of tournament. White Boy Bracket? I was in a round and-" she looked up, pale. "I died?"

"Sure did, kiddo. But hey, who cares, right? Not like you're still dead!" Never talk to children again.

“That was a bit insensitive,” She said, “Check her physical condition? Mark down any changes you can see and then ask her if anything feels different.”

"Hi, yeah, no?" Sasha snapped, shakily getting to her feet. "No one's checking any of my physical conditions, thanks."

"Kid, chill. You're not getting touched. Just trying to make sure you didn't get fucked up in the resurrection, like some people. One guy didn't have a mouth for a while."

Sasha didn't look convinced. Still, she held her arms out in a T and turned.

"Great. Thanks. Not seeing anything unusual."

"Yeah, no, I could've told you that."

“I did say to ask her.” Showie said.

"Yeah, well, nothing's weird." Sasha rolled her eyes.

"See what I mean?" Xigbar laughed. "The kid's got some balls! Fuckin' love that! Just mouthing off to the Showrunner like it's no biggie!"

“Yeah, well,” Showie said, “There should be a room off to the side. New clothes, food, place to rest. Put her there.”

Xigbar gestured with his head the direction she was supposed to go in. Sasha rolled her eyes again, but went into the designated room.

“Alright,” Showie said, “Pretty successful control. Personality seemed intact, yes?”

"Most personality I've seen from a kid her age in a while." When it came to personality, Roxas and Xion were Not It. At least, not for a while.

“Oh, you should meet Annabeth. Percy, too. But they’re both solidly off limits. If Percy lost, I think I’d rig it. Anyway, onto Stede.”

"Right. So, rinse and repeat with what happened with Sasha, then just kill him again? Just to confirm."

“Yes. Avoid too much blood loss or head trauma, though, Blood loss would only frighten the others once it was their turn. Head trauma could muddy the results.”

"Cauterizing shot through the heart. Got it."

She hummed in agreement. He reset the ritual, this time using Stede, and relit it. Time for cold again. "So if the conversation wasn't 'that bad', then why did you say I should be nervous?" He chuckled.

A sort of evil giggle, “Oh, you don’t need to be nervous.”

Chuckle revoked.

"Okay, now I am nervous."

“No, no it’s fine! We just- you know, I didn’t really have anyone to talk to, so we talked! And it was fine! Now, the cold.”

He was ready this time.

"... You can talk to me-" That came out way more pitiful than he meant. Good job beating the poor little meow meow allegations, Xigbar.

“Not about this,” She laughed, “Anyway, did you put all of Team We Cause Problems into the match? Sasha, Stede- Virgil?”

"Nah, just Sasha and Stede. If I'm going purple, it's gonna be that Afton guy."

“Oooooh,” She said, “Oh, the effects of degradation on him would be fascinating. You know he’s already a living rotting corpse? That’s why he’s purple, he’s decayed! We might even do him a favor, reviving him. Set him right.”

"You want me to save him for when you get back, then? So you can see?"

“Hmm. Yes.” She sounded pleased, “It'll be interesting. He moving now?”

"Yeah, doin' the floppy thing." Don't make a dick joke. Don't make a dick joke. Don't make a dick joke.

“Pfft,” She laughed, “You know what else?”

"What? Did you just-?!"

“Oh, you know! Ah! He awakens!” She said, apparently she had the timing memorized, because Stede did, in fact, Awaken.

"Hang on- did you seriously just make a dick joke-"

“You walked right into it! Now, pay attention to our guest.”

Dear fucking god he was in love.

"Right, ah-" he cleared his throat, and rattled off the questions.

When Stede answered accordingly, Xigbar wrote everything down. Then, without giving him a chance to react, shot him right through the heart. Stede was dead before he hit the ground, and not a single drop of blood spilled. Goddamn he's good.

"Goddamn, I'm good."

“Yeah, yeah. Bring him back. Pretend like the first one didn’t happen, but ask him if he’s seen you recently.”

"Alright, fine."

Run through of the ritual again. Did it Have to be this cold? There is no reason anything should be this cold. Christmastown wasn't even this cold. Stede still answered appropriately. Seemed a little frightened.

Now for the good question.

"Have you seen me at all recently?"

"Y-yes, you just shot me."

"Oh, did I? My bad."

Bang.

Xigbar laughed like it was the best joke he'd seen in forever. It kinda was. I mean, the look on that guy's face? Absolutely priceless.

“Okay, okay, look him over for non-arrowgun damage and then bring him back,” She said, trying not to laugh, “Just turn him over with your foot or something.”

"Alright, alright, just- give me a second-" He needed to calm down. "Fuck, I wish you were here. You should've seen his face when I shot him!"

“I wish we could do video call, but then-” She paused, “But then tu-sais-qui would be able to hear you. And I don't mean, you know. Mon ex-mari. If only I had headphones.”

"Ah, well. When you're here, we can do this again."

Xigbar nudged Stede over, looking him over for wounds. "Well… He's missing an eyebrow, but nothing else."

“Oh, weird. That’s new. Mark it down- that’s near the head, so. Hm. Carry on.”

"Right."

Ran through it again. Still cold. Less bad though. Getting used to it?

From the get go, Stede looked scared. Especially once he laid eyes on Xigbar. Good. Be afraid. Xigbar had barely even opened his mouth before the guy took off running. He made it past him, but not much farther before he slipped and fell. In a moment of total clarity and definitely not panic, Xigbar may have. Accidentally slipped and shot Stede perfectly through the heart again. Whoopsie.

"Oops."

“What happened?”

"So. Totally normal, but uh- I may have jumped the gun. Literally. He tried to make a run for it. Knee jerk reaction, I killed him again."

“Oh. Well. Try not to do that,” She didn’t sound mad, “But we have the answer to at least one question. He definitely remembered you.”

"Tell me about it." Xigbar kicked the body- wait. No wonder he fell. "Dude's got two left feet. No wonder he ate floor."

“What, literally? Bizarre. I wonder if it’s just the degradation or if it’s how soon they’re happening, one after the other. Uh, hm. How unethical are we willing to get?”

"Doll, I'm willing to do a lot more than you'll make me. I'm ready to get downright heinous in here."

“Nothing heinous, just… perhaps a bit psychologically cruel? It would be interesting to see what would happen if we spaced the deaths out a little more. Once a day? Once a week? But I- I wouldn’t want to leave them in that sort of consistent, unending fear. Can you kill subtly? I don’t want them to see it coming. Perhaps we can hook them up to some sort of drip? We do have a hospital room adjacent to the lab… we could tell them that they’re hurt, that it’s a sedative? Pretend they’re in a hospital, so they don’t run? And of course I would work to undo any degradation they experienced once I got back.”

"... Good fucking lord." He needed a second. "You have no idea how hot that was, oh my god."

“W-well now I’m worried, was that worse than just killing them? I don’t want them to, like, sit in the fear!”

"No, no, you're fine. Just. Wow. I wanna study your brain." And also maybe. Yeah. Please laugh.

Small laugh, “That’s not very reassuring. I-is that a good idea or should we think of something else? Or, in either case, who should it be? Our test subject I mean.”

“Hm,” He checked his notes, “Washington?”

“Oooh, yes. I wouldn’t mind getting unethical with that creep. That came out wrong.”

"HA! You can get unethical with me anytime." The floodgates are open. Here come the sex jokes.

“Just revive him!” She said, laughing, “We can do this later!”

[neapolitanhaha]

HELLOOOO! This is Lampkeeper! And welcome to my corner of the universe~!

Lil bio:

Name: Atticus / Lee

Gender: three feral rats with rabies in a trenchcoat

Pronouns: any!! I don't care!!

Lamps: 100000003067 lamps

Sexual orientation: asexual

Romantic orientation: aromantic + homoro-oriented (gay asf)

Likes: Fandoms (preferably small fandoms), food (specifically chicken nuggets), sleeping, lamps, goobers, cats, salmon, winter, dragons (will ramble for hours), b r e a d, sweaters!!!

Dislikes: Loud noises, excited dogs, pollen (is allergic), mosquitos (VERY allergic), strong spices, lots of clothes, summer.

Special interests: Dragons, cats, I Expect You To Die, Portal, The Stanley Parable, Rise of the TMNT, Megamind (somehow), science in general.

Kinned characters: Donnie (ROTTMNT), The Narrator (TSP), Wheatley (Portal 2), Pheonix (IEYTD), Megamind (c'mon, you know this one), William Afton (FNAF- don't ask.), The Spot (Spider-man ATSV)

Physical features: Long-ish dark brown hair, tanish skin despite rarely going outside, brown eyes, 5 feet 6 inches tall, often wears casual clothing but wears a skirt on Sunday, depending on who he's with, he almost never smiles.

Notes: Was never tested for autism or ADHD, but has a strong belief he has both (with research to back him up). Staying with the label neurotypical until the belief is strong enough to self-diagnose. DEFINITELY has anxiety. Might also be dyslexic- constantly misreads words. Is also a therian + otherkin; cat therian + duck therian (WILL meow and WILL purr, don't blame him) + dragon otherkin (WILL roar and WILL hiss). Has an odd belief he's not human.

!! THIS USER IS A SYSTEM !!

Will there be a "meet the artist" drawing soon? Yes, yes there will be. Will I draw myself accurate to my IRL self? Yes. Yes I will. Will I also draw my little alien persona? Yes. In several ways. Will I draw my fursona and his two halves? Absolutely.

For Roleplay under the cut!! vvvv

Blue text is for when Agent Felix talks

Purple text is for when Lampkeeper talks

Classic text is when I/The Narrator am speaking

Red text for Dr. Zor, Orange text for Hivemind, Yellow text for Charlie Caliente, Green text for John Juniper.

These all take place in the IEYTD universe.

Felix lore:

Agent Felix joined Zoraxis's team when he was just a little kid, probably about third grade. If he went to school, lol, which he didn't.

He just wandered around a town all day, doing whatever he could to learn. Zor found him- Zor was about mid-thirties at the time- and just straight up adopted Felix. Zor gave Felix lessons on basic stuff like reading, math, etc., basically just all the elementary school stuff- except it only took 2 years. Zor, obviously, was surprised so he gave Felix some options and Felix chose technology.

Zor gave him everything he could to Felix on the subject, and by age 12, Felix had the technology expertise as a mad scientist. Felix started doodling after Zor adopted him, the doodles being very happy in general. Over time, they got.. concerning.. and Zor didn't know what to do about that.

Eventually, as more people joined Zoraxis, the more Felix was left alone with his little inventions. Occasionally, Zor, Hivemind and Charlie visited him (and were the only ones that celebrated his birthday), rarely Solaris for business. Felix loved Hivemind and Charlie like family.

The death engine was built when Felix was thirteen years old, him being oblivious to what he and Solaris were building. Agent Pheonix had seen him during Operation: Seat of Power, and recognized him as a kid.

When the death engine fired for the first time, Felix was devastated. Maybe a bit traumatized. He hated himself for being so oblivious to what he built. He didn't talk, eat or anything for days, even after he heard that Agent Pheonix had stopped the Death Engine. In fact, Felix felt worse becuase people had died.

Pheonix came back after a day or two of recovery and brought Felix to the agency. The agency convinced Felix to join (hesitantly) and almost gave up after ten minutes until Felix finally said one word: "okay". His mental recovery lasted 2 weeks, his fourteenth birthday two days after. His drawings started returning to a happier-looking state during the time. Felix waited a month and a half for agent training to begin, and when it did, it was too slow to match his learning pace. Regardless, he did what he was told without complaint. ...until they gave him a bomb to diffuse.

They knew perfectly well he couldn't diffuse bombs. They gave him one anyways. He had to run to other agents to find someone who could diffuse bombs. Felix was trying to figure out for days why they gave him a bomb. No clear answer was found.

Felix often has regrets leaving Zoraxis, since he misses everyone and he misses being useful. Usually he just looks at his shirt and he no longer has regrets, but recently it hasn't been working. He has a lot of conflicting emotions. He tries to stop the regrets by telling him stuff like "it feels great to be good" (as you know) and stuff like that. They've been working, but not much. The agency is constantly worried he'll switch sides again, but they don't know what to do about it since they don't want to get near him.

Felix doesn't know it, but Zor, Hivemind and Charlie miss him. Zor has had his eyes on Felix since he left and has been hoping he'd come back. The whole John Juniper thing was half-planned in hopes Felix would be sent on a mission. (I'm listening to This Is What Autumn Feels Like right now and it's throwing ideas like this at me ashgdhwhdhend)

Then Felix gets kidnapped, he runs away, you know the drill if you were reading/involved in it. He came back worse than before, almost back to his old state after the death engine. His memory was a little more messed up and he has major trust issues.

The end :]

[thebestnarrator]

Introduction ೃ⁀➷

Welcome to my account!

This is simply a small account for imagines and Roleplay, mostly for me to feel comfortable and happy as myself, the Narrator. This is a relatively new kin. Feel free to send in asks and request writings

I have other Tumbler accounts that will be listed at the end of this post

»»———-　basic Info　———-««

I am fictionkin, and I am kin with The Narrator from the Stanley Parable. Having a place to roleplay as and express myself allows me a safer more comfortable space to openly be myself as the Narrator without confusing people.

I have many names, Maxwell / Max is my name. I also use Sage / Salem / Candi / Milo…. And more.

For this account I will be using Narrator, or any silly nickname you all come up for me, I know some of the fandom enjoys calling me Narry, I find it kind of cute.

I use He / They / It pronouns

I Identify as Male

»»———-　Account Info　———-««

Because I do write things, such as imagines, Roleplays and will be answering asks, I want to set some simple rules

Be nice, be respectful, don’t start drama <3 please

DNI if you are / support:

Racism

Transphobia

Homophobia

Ace-exclusionist

Ablest

“MAPs” / Pedophiles

Content Rules:

Angst rules:

I can write light angst, but angst as far as the Zending goes and the skip button ending goes, I unfortunately cannot. I mean I can but I chose not too. This goes for harsh angst, character death, suicide, self harm, etc…

NSFW Rules:

will write slight NSFW posts / responses. Anything that may be a little on the harder side will end up going onto my AO3 account. I am comfortable writing these things but not on here because of guidelines, as well as wanting to keep this space more of for me to express myself.

I will be open to writing most things, however some are off limits, just ask, almost everything is fine with me. + no judgment.

»»———-　Links　———-««

(These will be linked soon)

[ General Kin Tumblr]

[ AO3 ]

[ Instagram ]

Note:

If you are a Stanley kin, please interact

[white-boy-bracket]

ok! stanley meets magnus and percy! ***

Stanley was able to make his way over to Cesare, not bothered too much by the various kins-men milling around. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he was still sleeping-- like Stanley, he had been affected by all of the revivals, and it was going to take some serious time or effort to fix that.

Stanley sighed as he sat down next to Cesare.

They were friends, Stanley thought. No, he didn’t just think it-- he knew it. Cesare and him were friends , and Stanley was going to look out for his friend. He was going to stand by Cesare, until-- well, until he couldn’t anymore. Cesare was asleep right now, and Stanley knew that that made him very vulnerable. He was not going to let anything happen to Cesare, not if he had some say in the matter.

He looked over the crowd of other white boys and frowned. Something felt off, something was… missing.

…

Why couldn’t he hear the Narrator’s voice?

Stanley looked around nervously.

He had heard the Narrator, not even a bit ago! Had he been so focused on protecting Cesare that he had lost track of Narry? No, no no! Stanley stood up and then quickly sat back down.

He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t leave Cesare now-- he couldn’t end up alone . And if he’d lost the Narrator protecting Cesare, he was going to make damn well sure that Cesare stayed protected.

So Stanley pulled out his buttons, and carefully sat next to Cesare.

One of them had a bite mark (he did quite like the taste of buttons), and was nonfunctional. One was a Big Red Button, and it made a nice clicking sound when pushed. One of them was a ‘Jim’ button, saying the name ‘Jim’ when pressed. And the last one was a Hug button, which had a picture of a heart and made a squeaky noise, much like the ‘Yippee’ of an Autism Creature.

Stanley began to repeatedly press the Jim button.

Unfortunately, there was no one here named Jim. Fortunately, it did draw some attention to Stanley. He waved at the other white boys, and quickly signed;

[Has anyone seen a cat?]

But… no response. Stanley sighed through his nose, and then tried again, with more simplistic signs.

[Please. A-S-L]

After that, word seemed to get around, and in a little bit, a teenage boy with blond hair and-- holy shit, was that a sword -- came over.

“Hey!” the boy said, sitting down on the floor near Stanley. “I’m Magnus Chase. What the-- is that mouth thing normal?”

[No. Thank fuck you know ASL. I was losing my mind.]

“Well, happy to help! I can interpret for you.”

[...thank you. I am Stanley. The sleeping goth is Cesare, he is my friend.]

“So, you need help with the mouth thing? Cause, I think there’s a few magicians here, they might be able to do something.” [No. Well, yes, I would like help with it, but that’s not-- I can do fine without my mouth. I don’t need to eat, and I’m mute normally. I need help finding my Narrator.]

“Your… Narrator?”

[He’s a little kitten right now. Brown fur, gray streaks, silver glasses on a chain… annoying british voice.]

Magnus looks at Stanley, his face falling.

“Oh. Him.”

[What happened?]

“He got… taken.” Magnus says, hice voice as soothing as possible. “By the guards.”

[Did… did anyone get a close look at what happened?] Stanley signs quickly. [Anyone-- who was near. Why did it happen? Is there--]

“Yeah, hold on. There were. I even know one of em. Gimme a sec.” Magnus says, and then stands up. “Percy!” he calls out.

After a few minutes, another teenager-- though this one seems older-- walks over.

“Yeah?” the boy-- Percy-- says, clearly angry, or at least frustrated.

“This is Stanley. He wants to… he’s looking for his Narrator.” [The cat.]

“The kitten that the guards took.” Magnus adds.

Percy looks over Stanley, startling at the missing mouth, and then a look of… solidarity overcomes his features.

“Look man, I’m…sorry. The Showrunner’s guards took him. I don’t… I don’t know where she’s keeping him, but… I figure it’s gotta be somewhere real secure; Annabeth, my girlfriend-- the Showrunner took her too, and if it was anything less than maximum security, I’m sure she’d already have escaped.”

Stanley’s face falls, at the same time that Magnus looks at Percy in disbelief.

“She’s-- ANNABETH?” Mangus says in a worried tone. “What the-- why would they do that?” “Leverage.” Percy mutters, and then an apologetic sort of looks overcomes him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I thought you’d-- I thought you knew.” “I didn’t.” Magnus says, almost ashamedly.

[We need to get them out.] Stanley interrupts, pressing the Hug button for extra measure to make sure that he’s got their attention.

“He wants to-- he says that you need to get them out.” “Yeah, of course.” Percy says with a sigh. “Of course I want her out. The Showrunner’s bad news, I-- I don’t want to be here, I don’t want her controlling me, of course I don’t want her holding anyone hostage!”

Stanley reaches out a hand and gently touches Percy’s shoulder.

[We will get them out. Or they will escape on there own.] he signs deliberately.

“He says-- he says that you will get them out. Or-- or they’ll get out on their own.”

Percy looks up at Stanley, and takes a shaky breath.

“I’m guessing you have a plan?” he says.

Stanley shakes his head no.

“Then--” [I prefer to just do . Now come on, there's a lot of people here! Even magicians, apparently? And I know I’ve got at least one semi-god friend who’s still here. We’ll figure something out.]

After Magnus translates, Percy lets out a sigh of relief.

“Okay. Okay, so… yeah. Yeah, I’ll go get some of my magician friends. Then we can make a basic plan, and then… we get them back .”

Stanley nods adamantly.

[I’m going to stay here with Cesare for now.] he signs, and as Magnus and Percy walk off, he looks over at the face of his sleeping friend.

Carefully, he tucks his loading screen into Cesare’s pocket. It’s risky for Stanley to be losing that, but… he’s died before. And the loading screen didn’t help with the revival degradation. At least now, if something happens to Cesare, he’ll wake up in the Parable, far away from this awful tournament.

Well. That is, if he ever does wake up again. *** also on ao3 as ch3 of The Cost of Death.

!!!