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coldmorte · 4 years ago

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MY FIRST RDR FIC IS OFFICIALLY HERE!!

Check it out through the Ao3 link or below the cut!

Title: “More Than Family”

Ship: Dutch van der Linde/Arthur Morgan (VanderMorgan, Circa 1895)

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4.3k

Overview: Arthur writes in his journal to remember the past, but Dutch is determined to give him a memory too potent for words.

(DISCLAIMER: The intention of this work is to highlight the fact that Dutch and Arthur do not see themselves as being true “family.” It’s something else, something more intimate. My work does NOT support or endorse "incest" in any way, shape, or form. That is not the goal or purpose whatsoever.)

(Visit the Ao3 link for more tags/notes!)

Letting out a deep sigh, Arthur perched himself on a log by the fire at the end of camp. It was their first night in the new settlement, a quiet place at the foot of the mountains. A safe place. On one side stood a vertical wall of stone, blocking outsiders from easy access. On the other was the rushing water of the legendary Fleur River. The only way in or out was from the sides, which required taking a long route from either direction. Hosea had helped him to scout the place out a few days back, and Dutch agreed it felt like a suitable area to turn into their new home.

The gang was steadily growing. It wasn’t just the three of them anymore, like the old days. There were more men now. John, Bill, and Javier were a few of the recruits to join them over the years. There were even women in their company - like Susan and Abigail, who was with child. After all this time, they had grown together in ways Arthur had never imagined.

Arthur stared out across the camp as he brought his satchel to his lap and retrieved the journal inside. He balanced it on his knee, fingers tapping the outer cover as he thought about how to depict the layout of the tents bathed in the soft glow of the fire. It was silent now, most of the others having already turned in for the night. Glancing down, Arthur’s fingers curled around the outer edge of the journal. Just as he was starting to open it, a voice made him freeze.

“Do you record everything in that journal of yours?”

Dutch.

Turning his head slightly, Arthur could see the silhouette of his body leaned against a tall oak tree just beyond the reaches of the firelight. Dutch pushed himself away and began to come closer as Arthur replied, “No, not really. Just when I feel like it, I guess.”

Continuing to draw closer, Dutch wrapped a warm hand around his shoulder, grip firm as it slid down to his bicep. Arthur leaned into the touch, head gently nestling against Dutch’s hip. Drawing in a deep breath, Dutch spoke again, “You know, it is okay to have some secrets, Arthur. You don’t have to write it all down.”

“I know. It’s just…” his voice trailed off as he stared into the fire. He bit his lip, his eyes narrowing slightly.

It was silent for a few moments, and Arthur made no attempt to pick up where he left off. Realizing this, Dutch prodded him on. “Just, what?”

Arthur sucked in a deep breath through his nose and let his eyes flutter shut, heightening his other senses. He could feel the mellow warmth of the fire upon his exposed skin and the sound of the waters flowing calm and steady behind him. The scent of Dutch’s cigars and stolen cologne were rich on his waistcoat as Arthur pressed his cheek tighter against him. “I don’t want to forget, in case anything ever happens.”

Blinking his eyes back open at the sensation of Dutch releasing a sigh, Arthur glanced up at him. He was staring down at Arthur, brows knitted into a tight expression and lips slightly pursed. He leaned closer, moving his hand to Arthur’s lap. Grabbing a hold of the journal, Dutch tugged it from his grasp.

Setting the journal down on the log beside Arthur, Dutch then offered his hand. “Come on, walk with me.”

Wordlessly accepting the outstretched hand, Arthur allowed Dutch to pull him to his feet. He let go to walk around the log and join him on the other side, tucking his hands deep in the pockets of his tan gunslinger jacket as he did so. Dutch stared off towards the river, avoiding his gaze. Arthur fell in line with him, shoulder-to-shoulder, as they trudged over the fine pebbles at the water’s edge and ducked under the occasional branches of the trees lining the shore.

They passed by Javier at the edge of camp. He was reclined against a tree, rifle folded across his lap as he took his turn on guard duty. Arthur looked over to him as they passed and gave a nod. Wordlessly returning it, he watched as the two of them retreated beyond the camp’s boundaries. They walked on in silence for a few minutes, before Dutch finally spoke up.

“There’s something on your mind, son.”

It wasn’t a question, but it wasn’t necessarily a command to speak either. Arthur absentmindedly kicked at a large stone in his path, watching it hop across the ground and splash under the water’s surface. Dutch remained quiet, still staring out across the river.

“I don’t know…” Arthur glanced up through the trees overhead, to the full moon and stars shining between the branches, “… we don’t get much time no more. Us, I mean. You and me.”

Dutch cocked his head towards him, Arthur glanced over to catch his eye for a moment. Frowning, Dutch slowed his pace as he looked back towards the river. “What are you trying to say?”

“Things have changed, Dutch.” Arthur sighed, abating his own speed to keep in line with the other man. “They ain’t what they used to be.”

“No, they ain’t. But look at all the bullets we’ve dodged, all we’ve been through together. I’m still breathing, and you… my boy, it doesn’t matter how many people come and go. Where would we be without you?” Dutch paused then, stopping altogether. He turned his face slightly, glancing to the ground below and avoiding Arthur’s gaze. His voice dropped to just above a whisper, deep and low. “Where would I be without you?”

Arthur came to a halt alongside Dutch as he let out a soft chuckle, tense and hesitant. “Ah, I didn’t mean nothin’ like that. The gang is growin’, that’s all. You have more responsibilities now, more people to look after. B’sides, what about Hosea? Susan? John and Abigail?”

Dutch’s face snapped up towards Arthur, his whole body rounding on him. His eyes were steady and unwavering as he shook his head. “You ain’t like them. Sure, they’re all like a family to me, but you’re different. You’re…” he took a step closer, “…you’re something more than family.”

Suddenly feeling uneasy, Arthur took a step back to put more distance between them. He glanced in the direction of the camp, now just a faint speck of light in the distance. They were truly alone. Dutch crept closer still, his intense gaze never looking away. Arthur tried to laugh again, but it came out more like a strained choke this time as his face twisted into a grimace. He averted his eyes downward and watched as the heels of his boots tapped against the base of a tree. Dutch kept advancing, but Arthur had run out of moves.

It was his turn to shake his head as he squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel the warmth of Dutch’s body pressing closer, nearly touching him. “But family… what’s more than family?”

A long pause. So long, Arthur almost opened his eyes to check if Dutch had left. But he knew.

The warmth was still there, radiating between them. Arthur nearly flinched as fingertips glided over his temple, brushing away the stray hair there. He allowed his eyes to open with caution. Dutch continued to stare at him, his eyes set and lips parted. His face dropped slightly as Arthur finally looked back at him. “Oh, Arthur…”

Arthur could say nothing, but he could not look away either. The heat of Dutch’s breath was so close, Arthur could feel the tingling sensation of each exhale as it met the moisture of his own lips. His eyes widened as Dutch’s thumb brushed more hair from his face, his hand wrapping lower to cup Arthur’s cheek in his palm as he continued, “… You don’t see it, do you?”

Mouth suddenly going dry, Arthur tried to swallow. His throat felt coarse, and his eyes narrowed as he shifted the weight on his feet. “See, what?”

The corners of Dutch’s lips twitched upwards into an amused smile as he gripped Arthur’s cheek with more force. The other hand snaked its way around his hip, fingers brushing along the top of his waistband. Bringing his face closer still, Dutch pressed their foreheads together. Arthur let his eyes flutter shut, feeling the tickle of Dutch’s own eyelashes on his face as he did the same.

Dutch drew in a sharp inhale, letting his next words fall from his lips as he breathed out. “I need you.”

With that, Dutch closed the space between them, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss as their chests became flush with each other. Arthur shivered as Dutch pulled back, just enough to continue speaking. His breath traced over Arthur’s jaw and the exposed flesh at his neck. “And you think I don’t miss this?”

Leaning in again, Dutch brought their lips back together. He tilted his head, nose brushing gently against Arthur’s cheek as he did so. Arthur felt his lips part, so he opened his own mouth in reciprocation. Dutch ran his tongue along the inside of Arthur’s lower lip, before pulling back away to speak. “You think I don’t miss when these stolen moments weren’t just exceptions…..”

Dutch met him this time with lips already parted. Arthur felt himself release a moan, somewhere from deep in his throat, as Dutch slipped his tongue further inside. Wrapping his hands below Dutch’s arms and around his upper back, he pulled the man even closer. Still, Dutch drew his mouth away as he continued, “…but instead, they were expectations?”

Not getting the chance to say anything in response, Arthur merely hummed into Dutch’s mouth as he resumed the kiss. Dutch rocked his hips forward, smiling at the feel of the growing bulge in the front of Arthur’s trousers. “In dark alleyways and alongside glowing campfires…”

Bringing both hands to rest on Arthur’s waist, Dutch held him steady as he rocked into him a second time. Arthur slid his hands lower on Dutch’s back, tightening his embrace. He could feel the pressure of Dutch’s own hardening cock on his thigh as he did so. “… you were always too... shy…”

Dutch’s voice cracked slightly on the last word. He cleared his throat with a faint grunt, but Arthur could tell he was merely trying to keep his growing arousal in check. Smiling to himself, Arthur began to snake his hands closer to Dutch’s front as he kept talking, “… too afraid to go any further.”

Just as his hands were nearing Dutch’s belt buckle, he felt them being snatched up and pinned over his head. Arthur let out a terse cry at the sudden display of dominance. His legs squirmed and his heels dug deeper into the soft ground below as Dutch leaned his chest harder into him. Turning his head, Dutch nestled his nose in Arthur's hair as he pressed their cheeks together. Arthur shuddered as he felt Dutch’s chest rumble with a deep chuckle to accompany his next words. “It was always you who would swat my hands away... and I would let you...”

Teeth nipping gently at Arthur’s earlobe, Dutch let out a low grumble as he rocked his hips into Arthur again, hands still keeping Arthur’s wrists in a bind overhead. Arthur writhed under his grasp, unable to overcome the strength. He canted his groin outwards instead, trying to increase the friction between them. Obliging his yearning, Dutch ground back into him. He used the full weight of his body to push Arthur harder into the tree, the grooves of the bark digging into his back. A moan caught in Arthur’s throat as Dutch murmured in his ear. “Anything for you.”

Rubbing his cheek along Arthur’s, Dutch turned his head and brought their faces together again. Their lips met once more. It was messier this time, teeth banging into each other as they both breathed heavily through their noses. Dutch shifted his legs slightly as he slipped one against Arthur’s inner thigh and urged him to widen his stance. “Until that one night…? The one when… you finally worked up the courage…?”

Dutch’s words became more strained and cracked as his breathing continued to come in unsteady gasps. He pushed Arthur’s legs farther apart still, and settling between them, he thrust his hips even harder against Arthur’s groin. He tipped his head down and buried it in Arthur’s neck as he let out a lusty moan. “Things became insatiable, then.”

The grip around Arthur’s wrists was beginning to make them tingle from a loss of circulation. He wriggled them with agitation, and Dutch eased up slightly. Still keeping his hold on them, however, he began to lower them onto his shoulders as he pulled his head back from Arthur’s neck. Face flushed and lips parted, Dutch stared at Arthur through half-lidded eyes. “But I still had a fondness those early nights… still longed for them…”

Keeping his eyes fixed on Arthur’s, Dutch slowly released his grasp from the hands now resting on his shoulders. Arthur kept them there as Dutch let his own hands return to Arthur’s hips. Using the forward momentum of his next thrust to reconnect their lips, Dutch’s fingers curled around to Arthur’s ass. They squeezed gently, fingertips digging into the clothed flesh. “…such sinful acts… but covered in a shroud of innocence… so… alluring…”

Dutch’s voice was barely a whisper, the stress from his jagged breathing and heightened arousal overwhelming him. He slid his hands lower underneath Arthur’s ass and dug his fingers into the skin harder as he tugged Arthur’s legs up. Catching on, Arthur helped to lift his legs and wrap his thighs around Dutch’s hips. His arms enveloped Dutch in an even tighter embrace as he supported himself. Grinding his hips upwards as Arthur rocked his hips in time with the movement, Dutch bumped their foreheads together. Both of them let out simultaneous gasps of pleasure at the intense friction, beads of sweat beginning to mingle on their brows. “If only… I could have that again…”

Taking a deep gasp in an attempt to steady the shaking in his arms and legs, Dutch paused his thrusting to mutter, “… if only… you would let me…”

Feeling just as breathless as Dutch, Arthur didn’t bother with a verbal response. Instead, he slid one hand up to clutch the dark curls at the nape of Dutch’s neck as he forced their mouths together. He prodded Dutch to keep moving by digging his heels into his back.

At that response, Dutch slammed into him. The force of the motion jostled their mouths apart as Arthur turned his head to let out a choked sob. Dutch took the opportunity to press his face back into Arthur’s neck, teeth biting at the flesh. Arthur tried to keep a rhythm with the motion of his own hips, but Dutch was starting to act beyond his control. Erratic.

A bead of Dutch’s drool rolled down Arthur’s neck, disappearing below the collar of his shirt. Combined with Dutch’s rumbling pants, Arthur couldn’t help but shudder and release another strangled cry. His back was stinging and numb from being shoved into the tree trunk, but he grit his teeth and tried not to be too loud. The rough friction and restraint on his cock was staggering. His body was practically demanding release from the tight trousers.

And yet, the knowledge that it would not come only aroused Arthur even more. His fingers entangled themselves tighter into Dutch’s hair as he held on, his other hand digging marks into Dutch’s shoulder. Arthur could feel his toes curling and uncurling themselves in his boots and he desperately jabbed his heels into Dutch’s back. With each thrust, his feet slipped lower. Having to keep bringing them up to hang on, Arthur could feel his throat becoming parched as he panted from the exertion.

But Dutch’s grip never wavered. His fingers clutched at the fabric of Arthur’s trousers and the plump skin at the back of his thighs as he held him in place. Arthur could feel the pressure of Dutch’s cock, hard and constricted, as it prodded against his own. The burning so dreadful, the arousal so pleasing. The sensation was simply too much to bear.

A giant ball of flame felt like it was engulfing him from the inside out. Arthur’s vision was starting to blur, sparks flying across his hazy eyes each time Dutch canted his hips inward. He furrowed his brow as a trickle of sweat glided down his temple.

Arthur bit his bottom lip so hard, he was surprised he did not draw blood. He tried to take a breath between one of Dutch’s thrusts, barely mustering up the strength to call Dutch’s name as he turned his face back towards him.

“D-Dutch…”

He didn’t expect a spoken reply, and he didn’t get one. Dutch could merely lift his head away from Arthur’s neck and press their faces together, too out-of-breath to even grant another kiss. Not that Arthur had the resolve to care anymore. He felt like he was suffocating, each breath coming too short and fast as it was.

Screwing his eyes shut, Arthur sensed the muscles in his arms and legs tensing. He felt restless, stimulated and pained to the point of near-breakdown. His fingers clutched at Dutch’s body as his heels kept nudging Dutch’s hips impossibly closer to his own with each thrust.

Wanting to scream, Arthur shoved his head backwards into the tree’s bark. He could feel its rugged surface dig into his scalp. Dutch promptly loosened his grip to lower Arthur’s body, giving him more room to force their mouths together, despite their mutual lack of air.

It was too much. Dutch’s clothed cock continued to rub against his own as he slipped further down the tree. The pressure of his fingertips still dug into his legs… the heat of his mouth still set his lips aflame …

Arthur could feel a lone tear leaking out the corner of one eye as he came, a suppressed shout fading into Dutch’s open mouth. His vision was a mix of red and white bursts behind his closed eyelids. All his limbs tingled from the exertion, and if he hadn’t already been seeing stars, he most certainly would have the way Dutch slammed his back into the tree with such brute force as he also came.

Still gripping below Arthur’s ass and holding him upright, Dutch leaned his full weight into Arthur’s body. They remained like that - Arthur suspended in Dutch’s grasp, both trembling - as their chests continued to rise and fall against each other. Their foreheads pressed together, breaths intermingling. Neither said a word.

Eventually, Arthur could feel his sense of touch returning. His back ached, and his legs felt heavy as they still hung over Dutch’s hips. He moved his hand out of Dutch’s hair and cupped it against his cheek to gently push his face back.

Looking into his eyes, Arthur could see they were moist. From what, he could not say. He ran his thumb over Dutch’s flushed cheek, pushing a stray curl of raven hair away. Dutch smiled against his lips as he leaned in for a kiss. “Will you be able to stand, if I let you down?”

“I’ll manage,” Arthur assured. He eased the muscles in his legs as Dutch guided them back towards the ground. Keeping one hand on Dutch’s cheek, he used the other to hold onto Dutch’s shoulder and steady himself. His cock throbbed from the loss of pressure against it, and he bit his tongue as the inside of his trousers brushed along its sensitive skin.

Dutch kept his hands on Arthur’s hips for a moment as they silently stared at each other. Then, he slowly brought a hand up to grip at Arthur’s wrist once more. He slid the hand on his face around to his mouth, pressing Arthur’s palm to his lips. Dutch’s eyes never left Arthur’s.

As he continued to look at Arthur like that, his other hand slipped away from Arthur’s hip. Dutch began to pry at his own belt buckle, and once it was undone, he quickly popped open the buttons beneath using a single hand. Arthur narrowed his eyes and stayed still, uncertain of what Dutch was planning.

Grasping the hand on his cheek tighter, Dutch moved it downwards, never breaking eye-contact as he did so. Arthur’s fingers quivered as he felt them brush against the waistband of Dutch’s trousers. With Dutch’s encouragement, he slipped them beneath, feeling his flaccid cock twitch at the touch. Dutch winced and hissed an intake of air as Arthur moved lower. He could feel Dutch’s seed on his fingertips, warm and sticky. Tugging at his wrist again, Dutch made Arthur retract his hand. Yet, he did not surrender his grip. Instead, he helped Arthur lift his hand back up, guiding it to Arthur’s own mouth.

Arthur hesitated, but he parted his lips, pushing two of his own fingers inside. He hummed as he sealed his lips around the digits, a saline taste spreading across his tongue. Dutch gave a devious smirk as his hand crept up from Arthur’s wrist, forefinger tracing along his upper lip. Opening his mouth further, Arthur allowed Dutch to slip two of his fingers inside. He encircled them with his tongue, his cheeks hollowing as much as space would allow as he sucked gently.

Hooking his fingers inside Arthur’s mouth, Dutch dragged them out and pulled Arthur’s hand away in the process. He leaned in and replaced the fingers with his mouth, tongue pushing inside. A husky moan escaped from deep within Dutch’s throat as he twisted their tongues together and tasted himself. He prodded at Arthur’s jaw with his hand to get him to tip his head back and open his mouth wider. Complying with the command, Arthur hummed in response as he felt the muscles in Dutch’s cheeks tighten into a restrained smile.

Dutch pulled away, then. A string of saliva still connected their mouths for a moment as they broke apart, and Dutch smiled wider as he wiped it from his own lips. Taking a step back, he never broke eye-contact with Arthur. He continued to grin as he ran his fingers through his sweat-streaked curls and buttoned his trousers back up. Once the belt was buckled and his clothes were smoothed down, Dutch reached forward and grabbed at the front of Arthur’s coat. He pulled it back into place and brushed debris from the tree trunk off Arthur’s shoulders. Urging Arthur to step away from the tree, he also helped him wipe the dirt from his back.

Looking down at himself, Arthur did his best to get his clothes back in place and flatten the wrinkles out of them. His hands were clammy, and his knees became weak as he felt the mess in his trousers run down the inside of his leg. His cock felt so sensitive and so raw as he took another step forward. He could feel his cheeks redden as the reality of what just transpired weighed on him.

“Do I look… decent?” Arthur inquired, throat burning with dryness as he spoke.

Dutch turned his attention to Arthur’s face as he helped to rub the sweat off his brow and sweep his hair back into place. Leaning in, he pressed an earnest kiss to his forehead. “Oh, Arthur. If only you could see the state of yourself… I don’t know if you’ve ever looked more breathtaking than you do now.”

“That ain’t exactly what I meant...” Arthur’s blush deepened. “I meant, what if we run into somebody on the way back? Will they suspect…?”

Patting him on the shoulder tenderly, Dutch let out a low laugh - a genuine laugh, one that accentuated the plumpness of his cheeks and brought out a twinkle in his eyes. His face was still flushed, his hair was a mess, and his clothes were disheveled. Arthur couldn’t help but allow his own lips to twist into a thin smile as his eyes wandered over the disorderly appearance of the man before him. It had been a long time since he last saw Dutch so unraveled.

A rare sight, indeed.

“Why should you care what others think?” Dutch pulled at his shoulder, pointing him back in the direction of the camp. “We’re outlaws, Arthur. We make a point of living against what others consider acceptable.”

Arthur nodded his head, knowing he had a point. But when he turned to look at Dutch, he could still feel the blush burning at his cheeks.

Dutch smirked at him as he released a sigh. He used the hand on Arthur’s shoulder to push him forward. “But if that’s how you feel, head on back to camp without me. I could use a smoke, anyway.”

After taking several steps, Arthur stalled and glanced behind himself. He frowned slightly as he dug his fists back into his pockets and hunched his shoulders inwards. “You sure?”

“Yes, go on,” Dutch reassured as he retrieved a cigarette and match from his breast pocket. As he lit it up, the flame briefly illuminated his face. Arthur did as he was told. He bowed his head as he began to make his way towards the glow of the camp in the distance, but just as he took another few steps, Dutch called out, “Wait, there is something else...”

Arthur stopped. He felt his chest tighten as he lifted his head and looked back again. “Yeah?”

“How about you leave this one out of your journal?”

The orange glow from the end of Dutch’s cigarette was just enough to light up the mischievous grin playing out across his lips. Arthur let out a deep exhale as he felt the knot in his chest loosen. He shook his head and grinned. “You know, I think this one can stay between just us.”

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alondradina · 2 years ago

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Domaystic day 24!

Prompt: Fireplace

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solas/Ellana, Solas/Lavellan, Solavallen

Rating: G

Modern day AU

Ellana normally liked space heaters. The apartment she shared with Izzy and Sera was always freezing in the Winter; it was just something to be endured when you lived in Kirkwall. Every year the three of them crowded around their second hand heater, ignoring the vague burning smell and weird humming noise it made, to keep warm when the gas bill got too high. But this one…

Solas' space heater was offensive to her for ridiculous reasons, she knew. It was designed to look like a fireplace, soothing and warm and out of the way. All it did was simultaneously make her nostalgic for the actual fireplaces she'd slept beside growing up, and irritate her that something so small and quiet and pretty kept his open floor plan apartment warmer than their giant monster of one did in a single room of their small apartment.

Sitting beside her on the couch, Solas sighed and set his book down in his lap. "Would you prefer I turn it off?"

"It's fine."

"You say that, and yet continue to glare."

Ellana rolled her eyes and resumed channel surfing. "I like being warm, and it keeps the place warm. It's fine."

"I am unsure why it offends you, but, if it will bring you peace of mind, I will leave it in the office and instead turn the building heat up while you are here."

"You don't have to do that," she protested, gesturing with the remote, "don't up your gas bill just for me. It's not a big deal."

"If-"

"I'm being unreasonable, I know, and don't expect you to do anything differently. It's a good space heater," Ellana said in a rush, cutting him off. She dropped the remote into her lap and laid a hand on his arm. "I am one hundred percent certain that it's fine. Just ignore me giving it the stink eye. It's not its fault I'm an idiot."

"If that's what you want, then I will leave it be," Solas set his hand on top of hers, interlacing their fingers. "I do wish you would explain why it is so offensive, though."

She thumped her head back into the couch. "It's dumb."

"If it is bothering you, then it is not dumb."

Groaning, Ellana tried to pull her hand away, but he refused to let it go. A brief tug of war ensued before she gave up and let him keep her hand. "Fine, whatever. I don't like it because it's not an actual fireplace."

"I don't-"

"It makes me-" she paused, trying to decide how to word what she was feeling. Torn between wanting him to understand, but worried he'd pity her, Ellana sat in silence for several minutes.

Solas squeezed her hand and released it. Taking the book from his lap, he set it on the coffee table and then hauled her into his lap.

"Hey! What're you-?!"

Tucking her head under his chin, he shushed her gently. "Never mind; forget I asked."

She ducked down to free her head and then looked up at him. "But I-"

"You say the heater is fine, then it is fine," he said, rubbing a hand up and down her back, "Just let me know if that changes, please. I want you to be comfortable here."

"Solas. I promise it isn't a big deal."

"I believe you," he cupped her face with the hand not rubbing her back, gazing into her eyes, "but I'd like to know even if it only bothers you a little."

Ellana tilted her face up in mute appeal. He obliged, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose before meeting her lips. Sighing, she murmured, "Thanks for caring, anyway. I do appreciate it."

"Always," he chuckled and rubbed his nose against hers. "Even when you feel silly for it."

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38724966/chapters/98105541

#dragon age #solas #domaystic2022 #my writing #solavellan #fanfic #ficlet #fanfiction #solas x lavellan #ellana lavellan #lavellan #dragon age fanfiction

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chilling-seavey · 4 years ago

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When Universes Collide - The AU Mini Series

The Lotus Inn is a place we all know well; and a place where all universes collide in a small ripple of the time space continuum. It’s the spot for characters of alternate universes to meet and interact – even those who are from vastly different worlds and timelines. In this one-shot, the characters from the universes of this blog gather for lunch at the Lotus Inn restaurant and discuss their similarities and differences.

Warning: This does contain spoilers to any and all fics on my blog so read with caution if you haven’t read all of them!

A/N This obviously isn’t part of any timeline and is just something I wrote for fun with a bit of help from T-Anon and @randomlimelightxxx! To tell each Daniel apart, they will be called by their fic name as their formal title…it might be a bit awkward at first but it would be the only way to not confuse the heck out of you since there are five nearly identical looking Daniel’s sitting around one table. (Also, I see this play out like a stage performance in my head which is weird).

A/N2 Let’s see how many times the word ‘Daniel’ is used in this story

The Lotus Inn – 11:54am

A table for five sat empty in the corner of the restaurant. The room was trimmed in purple neon lights and decorated in floral pictures with an old brick wall supporting the large bar along the back. It wasn’t busy as the crowd usually came in for the daily after-dinner partying and the quietness of the restaurant was only filled with the bar tender wiping down the glasses to stock.

The door to the restaurant opened and a stream of bright light pooled into the room from the outside, nearly brightening the space more than what the large paned windows along the from wall allowed. In stepped a young man, his hesitation obvious as he stepped over the threshold and his blue eyes scanned his surroundings. He wore a military uniform that was ironed to perfection, donned in two well dressed medals on his left breast, and he took off his matching cap when he stepped inside, offering a stiff nod in greeting to the bartender.

Passchendaele Daniel

Age 22

He was the first to arrive and he made his way over to the reserved table in the corner, sitting on the chair closest to the door. Habit. Made for an easy getaway if it was ever needed. He held his hands together on his lap, back straight, and his flat expression starting to fall into space.

The restaurant stayed silent. The bartender kept to himself and the few other patrons sat on the far side of the room, minding their own business.

The door opened again and a voice fell inside along with another pool of light.

“She’s a one-year-old, Jack, give her a cookie and sing her a song and she’ll go right to sleep. Ask the other two for help; they’re great with her. I can’t come back now, my meeting has barely even started. I’ll be an hour, tops. I think you can survive that long.”

The slightly older man who just came in had his cellphone pressed to his ear and closed the door calmly behind him. He looked a bit flustered and definitely tired; his dyed blonde hair was faded to mostly its natural brown tones again and he shoved his car keys in his pocket messily as he listened to whatever his friend was saying through the line.

Anything But Mine Daniel

Age 25

His blue eyes landed on the young man already at the table and he paused in spot for a moment before saying much quieter into his cell phone, “I gotta go. I’ll call you after.”

He hung the phone and headed slowly over to the table, holding out his hand to the man in front of him.

“Hey. Nice to meet you. I’m Daniel.”

Passchendaele Daniel glanced up at him and then to his out stretched hand and pulled a tight smile before taking his handshake, “Myself as well.”

They shared soft smiles as Anything But Mine Daniel sat down in the chair on his other side. They fell into a momentary silence, not quite knowing what to say at first. It was a strange situation to be in: staring at yourself from another universe and entirely different timeline.

Gentle music filled the restaurant and the two young men glanced across the room to the jukebox. A third stood in front of it, having just slid in a quarter to select a record, and the gentle voice of Elvis brought liveliness to the restaurant. He turned with a pleasant smile, his hair slicked back in a soft wave, and startled slightly by the older two staring back at him.

Heartbreak Hotel Daniel

Age 18

He offered them a crooked smile and headed over to join them, “Hi.”

They shared their introductions – being easy since they all shared the same name and nearly the same face – and Heartbreak Hotel Daniel took his spot across from Anything But Mine Daniel. He glanced over at the man in his old military uniform beside the oldest but looked away against before he could be caught staring. He adjusted the collar of his button-up shirt and dropped his shy gaze to the wood table top.

“What desserts do you offer here?”

The three men all looked towards the bar where another was stood on the bottom brass foot rest of the bar counter to stand higher, holding himself up on the marble top as he spoke to the bartender. He wore a Georgian style suit, dressed poshly down to the puffed tie in the collar of his pale blue jacket and shiny black shoes, his soft brown hair brushed pristinely over his forehead.

Amoureux Daniel

Age 17

The bartender eyed the young prince for a moment and then simply gestured to the menu hung on the brick wall behind him.

“I’ll just take the lot of it.”

He slid a few paper bills across the counter before heading over to the reserved table. His smile was wide and infectious and he offered firm handshakes around the table.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Prince Daniel of York. Second in line to the British throne.”

“Royalty at our table? That’s unbelievable.” ABM Daniel gaped, eyeing the youngest’s clothes as he plopped himself down in the free chair across from Passchendaele Daniel.

“Forget Royalty. I’m going to be a composer.” Amoureux Daniel tisked as he leaned back and loosened his tie around his neck to let himself breathe before rolling up his sleeves too.

“A composer? I’m in music professionally. What do you play? Piano?” ABM Daniel asked.

“Piano and cello. Piano’s my favourite though.” Amoureux Daniel grinned.

“Mine as well.” Passchendaele Daniel smiled shyly.

“You as well? Oh, splendid.” Amoureux Daniel clapped excitedly. “I was worried you lot would be as lame as my older brother honestly.”

Passchendaele Daniel’s smile fell as fast as it was formed and he dropped his head down. The other three easily saw this change and the youngest two from across the table habitually looked the eldest for guidance. ABM Daniel’s eyes were wide with surprise and he set a gentle hand on Passchendaele Daniel’s shoulder.

He spoke softly, “Are you okay?”

“I…” Passchendaele Daniel took a moment to compose himself before looking up into the friendly eyes of his older counterpart, “I lost my brother in the war. He was my best friend.”

“Shit.” Amoureux Daniel breathed from across from him.

Heartbreak Hotel Daniel slowly pressed his hand to his mouth in shock.

ABM Daniel hesitated a moment but gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze, “I’m really sorry.”

Passchendaele Daniel only shrugged lightly, “It is what it is, I suppose.”

“What war were you in? The First World War or the Second?” Heartbreak Hotel Daniel asked as gently as he could around the obviously traumatised man.

Passchendaele Daniel’s eyes went wide in fear suddenly and he looked between the other three guys, “There is a second?!”

“I didn’t even know there was one in the first place.” Amoureux Daniel said in defence as he reached for one of the desserts before the bartender could even set the plate down at their table.

ABM Daniel and HH Daniel exchanged wide eyed glances before looking back at the frightened soldier. ABM Daniel rubbed his hand over his back soothingly, offering the best reassurance he could, “Not in your time, don’t worry. But I think we need a new topic to talk about now.”

“Please.” Passchendaele Daniel mumbled thankfully.

“Isn’t there supposed to be a fifth one of us here too?” HH Daniel asked.

“I thought so too.” ABM Daniel pulled out his cell phone to check the time.

“What is that?” the other three young men asked him at the same time.

ABM Daniel glanced up at them and looked between their mirrored confused expressions like he was sitting at a table with triplets. Different brunette hair styles and different clothing but all with the same light blue eyes and youthful faces. He looked back down at his iPhone and held it up slightly, “This?”

They all nodded.

“It’s my cell phone.”

“It’s a telephone? Where’s the chord?” HH Daniel asked, leaning over the table to lift it up as if to look for the chord that should have somehow attached him to the wall.

“Where is the handset?” Passchendaele Daniel added. “If there is no handset, how do you hear your friends?”

“I have no bloody clue what the hell any of you are talking about.” Amoureux Daniel laughed through a mouthful of cake.

ABM Daniel smiled and looked between the other three, “I guess that’s right since you are all from the past, huh? Well in my time they make telephones that can go in your pocket. They don’t need chords.”

“That’s brilliant.” Passchendaele Daniel breathed. “And you can talk to your friends into that little box?”

“Yeah. Wanna hold it?” ABM Daniel offered.

HH Daniel leaned over the table to get a look as Passchendaele Daniel carefully took the iPhone from ABM Daniel and cradled it in his two hands like it would break if the wind blew too hard. The screen lit up as a text message came through and Passchendaele Daniel gasped in surprise, staring down at the lit-up screen and the little box that read words.

ABM Daniel reached over to swipe away the notification, revealing his lockscreen wallpaper: a photograph of his family from the day his youngest was born, all cuddled up together on the couch.

“Is that your family?” HH Daniel asked, still leaning over the table.

“Yeah. It is.” ABM Daniel smiled widely, taking his phone to set it on the table for all of them to see, “That’s my wife, Florence, and our girls; Clementine, Penelope, and Lucy.”

“That’s so sweet.” Amoureux Daniel said, “I just had a son a few months back.”

“You have a child?” HH Daniel gaped over at him. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“You have a kid at seventeen?”

“Yes. Ran off and got married young. He’s just born so no need to have a fit.” Amoureux Daniel snickered teasingly. He picked up the plate of desserts and held it out to him. HH Daniel stared down at the desserts for a beat but then shook his head politely.

“My wife is expecting our first child.” Passchendaele Daniel spoke gently.

“Oh, congratulations!” ABM Daniel said, helping himself to a dessert from the spread.

“Yes, thank you.” Passchendaele Daniel mumbled. “I am a bit frightened; I must admit.”

“Parenthood is a scary thing but it’s also the most amazing thing you could ever experience.” ABM Daniel assured him as he slid his phone back into his pocket. “I am sure you will be a great dad.”

Before anyone else could speak, loud muffled music could be heard from outside the restaurant and they all turned to looked out the large front windows; watching as a shiny white Tesla pulled up to the curb. The music cut off as the drivers side door opened and their fifth guest stepped out. His hair was dyed blonde and hair sprayed to messy perfection and the sunglasses perched on his nose were designer, his whole outfit dripping in expensive pieces, down to his leather pants and black boots and silver chain hung around his neck.

He came inside the restaurant and everyone’s eyes were on him – even the bar tender – as he slid off his sunglasses and offered a cool smile to the room.

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit Daniel

Age 23

He caught the glance of the other four young men at the table in the corner and he sauntered over to greet them. He offered a handshake to all of them before sitting at the far head of the table, “Sorry I’m so late. Promo ran later than expected.”

He glanced around the table at the four pairs of wide blue eyes staring back at him. There was a beat of silence.

“Wow, this is sick. It’s like I’m looking in four mirrors.” QTVTP Daniel chuckled. He set his sunglasses on the table. The other four pairs of eyes followed the action but they didn’t speak. “You’re right. Need to at least make up for my lateness. Hey, bartender?”

The man looked over to the table as QTVTP Daniel raised his hand up to get his attention, “Pitcher of water, round of beers, and let’s get some appetizers? Give us your top…six sellers. All on my card.”

“You don’t have to pay for all of us.” ABM Daniel said.

“Let me. It’s the least I could do. You come all the way out here to this shabby hotel and I’m thirty minutes late.”

The bartender brought over the pitcher of water, five glasses, and five bottles of beer, setting them all on the table. QTVTP Daniel took out his OffWhite wallet and pulled out his credit card, passing it over to the man with a smooth thanks.

“Let’s drink, boys.” he smiled, rubbing his hands together before reaching for one of the bottles.

“I’m not of age.” HH Daniel mumbled.

“Neither am I.” Amoureux Daniel added.

“I don’t drink anymore.” Passchendaele Daniel said.

“I have to pick up my daughters after this so no alcohol for me either, thanks.” ABM Daniel finished.

QTVTP Daniel looked between the four sitting around him, “Wow. Alright. More for me then.”

ABM Daniel took the initiative to pour the others their glasses of water as he offered a casual question to the late arrival, “What promo were you at?”

“For my record company.”

All four heads snapped back up to look at him.

“You work at a record company?” HH Daniel gaped.

“Own it. Yeah.” QTVTP Daniel chuckled. “My best friend and I have owned our own company for the last…two or so years? We’ve travelled the world together. Made some music. Made a name for ourselves. It’s amazing.”

“Wow. It’s always been my dream to be a signed artist but my parents convinced me to go to university instead.” ABM Daniel said.

“It’s pretty sick.” QTVTP Daniel smirked. “You meet a lot of cool people.”

“Are you well known?” Amoureux Daniel asked. “Do you work with people such as Bach? Or Mozart?”

“Bach or Mozart? Nah. Not yet at least. But we just signed a band that dropped their second album and it went number one worldwide.”

“Good God.” HH Daniel gasped. “You’re like Elvis.”

“I guess.” QTVTP Daniel laughed lightly, taking a sip of his drink as he leaned back in his chair.

“Do you produce too?” ABM Daniel asked.

“Yeah. We do most of the producing but we write and manage too. I have an eye for the industry.”

“That’s so cool. I’m working at a production studio myself. I’d love to run some demos by you…get your professional opinion…bounce some ideas around.”

“Yeah, for sure, bro! That’d be awesome. We can do that later.”

The other three young men stayed in momentary silence, sipping their water with Amoureux Daniel nursing the plate of desserts. He glanced over at HH Daniel on his right, staring at him for a moment, especially the remanence of a bruise that was colouring just under his left eye.

“Did you get in a fight?” Amoureux Daniel asked bluntly.

HH Daniel looked over at him, watching the youngest bite into a truffle, “Yeah. Corbyn beat me up.”

That caught the table’s attention and they all looked at him in surprise.

“Corbyn hit you?” ABM Daniel gaped.

“Mhm.” HH Daniel nodded shyly. “I was trying to stick up for my soulmate and he didn’t like that I was trying to take her from him so he beat me up.”

He stood up and lifted up the bottom of his shirt to show off the fading bruise over his stomach as well. The men groaned pitifully at how obviously it must have hurt.

“My Corbyn is so nice.” Passchendaele Daniel frowned.

“Mine too.” ABM Daniel added.

“Mine’s kind of lame. Everyone in my life is lame.” Amoureux Daniel tisked.

“What? You think you’re better than everyone?” QTVTP Daniel chuckled, taking a sip from his glass bottle.

“Not necessarily. I just don’t want to have to live the same boring life that they think I need to.”

“I’ll drink to that.” QTVTP Daniel agreed.

“Here, here.” Passchendaele Daniel raised his water cup and they all held out their glasses into the middle of the table to cheers through soft laughter.

Their conversation paused a moment as they drank. HH Daniel shifted in his seat slightly, tossing back the rest of his glass of water is he had been deprived for days and set the empty glass back on the table with a loud clunk. QTVTP Daniel slid over a bottle of beer and none of them spoke as they watched him unscrew the cap and take a long sip. The eighteen-year-old grimaced through the drink and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You’re really going through it, bro.” QTVTP Daniel stated.

“Yeah, I suppose.” HH Daniel grumbled, pushing a hand through his hair.

“Well obviously since he got punched in the face.” Amoureux Daniel added.

“I just…” HH Daniel sighed, staring at the table top, “We have soulmates in my universe and even though I found mine…she doesn’t want me so I’m suck tasting everything she tastes and it being a constant brutal reminder of her.”

“Why doesn’t she want you?” ABM Daniel frowned.

“I’m a loser? Hell if I know.” HH Daniel scoffed, he took another long sip of the beer no matter how disgusting he thought it tasted. At least it overpowered the taste of tea that was grazing his tongue.

“There’s a girl you’re in love with who has a trashy boyfriend? Well, take it from me who has literally been in your shoes,” ABM Daniel reached across the table to grab the beer from the eighteen-year-old, “You get nowhere from drinking away the pain or hating yourself.”

“You had this happen too?” HH Daniel asked softly, hopefully.

“Yeah; was best friends with this girl I was hopelessly in love with and I had to see her go from boyfriend to boyfriend no matter how often I was there for her.”

“So what happened?”

“She became my wife eventually.” ABM Daniel smiled softly, “Just give it time. Don’t push her because she’ll just feel suffocated. Let her come to you. She’ll see what she’s missing.”

Amoureux Daniel held out the half empty plate of desserts to HH Daniel and he finally took a small pastry as the youngest said, “In addition, you are in a universe where you can taste what she tastes and, from my experience, the way to a woman’s heart – and up her skirt – is through her stomach.”

Passchendaele Daniel choked on his water while laughter rose over the rest of the table.

“What do you know about ‘going up skirts’? You’re, like, barely fifteen.” QTVTP Daniel scoffed through his disbelieving laughter.

“I am seventeen, thank you very much, and I have a baby.” Amoureux Daniel corrected, nearly boastfully. “I know just plenty about going up skirts.”

Of course, that was right when the bartender came over with their food and his confused expression had the five young men smothering back their nervous laughter. ABM Daniel and Passchendaele Daniel cleared a space on the table for the food to be set down and all five of them thanked the man before he headed back behind the bar. With a full spread in front of them, they all dug in and piled up a small plate each to start to eat. It was quiet for a moment as they got settled and started to eat, passing the salt and pepper and various plates to each other when asked. It was comfortable.

“So,” ABM Daniel broke their silence first, directing his question to Amoureux Daniel, “how did you and your wife meet?”

Amoureux Daniel cracked a cheeky smile, “Well, she came to England to marry my older brother, but she liked me better, to be blunt. We would sneak around the castle and a few times at night…you know…”

There were two ‘oo’s from ABM Daniel and QTVTP Daniel, while Passchendaele Daniel looked between them all with wide eyes.

“You…You were involved with her before you were married?” he stammered.

“While she was engaged to my brother too.” Amoureux Daniel hid his smirk behind a bite of a mozzarella stick. “My most thrilling and incredible few months, I must say.”

“Oh my gosh.” Passchendaele Daniel’s cheeks flushed a slight pink and he tugged at the collar of his uniform. “That’s…ahem…”

“Did you not go near your wife before your wedding night?” Amoureux Daniel asked bluntly.

“Let’s not go nosing into everyone’s private business.” ABM Daniel said strongly.

“Wait, I’m still confused. Where did you sneak off to?” HH Daniel asked shyly.

The table chuckled lightly – even Passchendaele Daniel cracked a nervous smile – and HH Daniel looked between all of them, waiting for an answer.

“To bed.” Amoureux Daniel laughed, patting him on the shoulder. “You’ll understand one day.”

“I…you…I-I understand perfectly well.” HH Daniel blushed furiously, turning quickly down to his plate and shoveled a nacho in his mouth to avoid continuing the conversation.

“To answer your question,” Passchendaele Daniel continued, trying to keep himself a bit brave and a bit interesting to the four other men, “No, I did not go to bed with Elizabeth until our wedding night. It did not feel right to deflower her until our union was official.”

“Deflower her.” QTVTP Daniel repeated slowly, biting back his smile as he took a sip of his beer.

“Well that’s what it is, is it not?” Passchendaele Daniel said sternly, narrowing his eyes at him. “I like to think that making love is the most sacred act and shouldn’t be just thrown around to anyone.”

“I agree.” HH Daniel mumbled, earning a thankful smile from the soldier.

“Jeez, then I’m quite the sinner.” QTVTP Daniel chuckled to himself. “I slept with my girlfriend on our first date.”

Passchendaele Daniel huffed softly and turned down to his plate. Amoureux Daniel and HH Daniel glanced at each other through the awkward tension that seemed to settle.

ABM Daniel cleared his throat, “Let’s maybe change the topic. This isn’t really lunch appropriate.”

“Wow…you are such a dad.” QTVTP Daniel snorted, shaking his head in near disbelief.

“What’s wrong with that?” ABM Daniel frowned at him. He couldn’t get much of an argument out before his phone was ringing in his pocket and he pulled it out, sighing when he read the caller ID, “Sorry, I gotta take this.”

The other four watched him get up from the table and head across the restaurant as he answered the call,

“What is it now, Jack?”

The table fell into a momentary silence.

Passchendaele Daniel broke it first with a mumble of, “Jack in my universe is dead.”

The other three looked between themselves nervously. They didn’t answer, ducking their heads down to their plates to focus on eating their lunches. No one spoke until ABM Daniel returned and he sat back down with a heavy exhale.

“Sorry, being a dad is a job that is never done. What did I miss?”

Amoureux Daniel, HH Daniel, and QTVTP Daniel just looked at him and shook their heads ever so slightly. Passchendaele Daniel sniffled, keeping his head down, and took a sip of his water.

“Everything alright back home?” HH Daniel asked softly over to ABM Daniel.

“Oh, yeah. My youngest just hates when I’m not within arm’s reach so she’s been giving Jack some trouble. She’s only one so…doesn’t know much better.” ABM Daniel smiled at only the mention of his daughters. “I have pictures…if you want to see.”

“Of course.” HH Daniel beamed.

ABM Daniel took out his phone again and opened up his photos app to swipe through a few and he passed the phone across the table. Amoureux Daniel and HH Daniel shifted closer together to see and QTVTP Daniel leaned over the side of the table to look at the pictures too. QTVTP Daniel took control of the swiping since he was the only one who knew how cell phones worked and they all smiled at the pictures on the screen, ‘awe’ing at the cutest ones.

“The baby looks just like you.” HH Daniel said. “Well…like us, I suppose.”

“Yeah.” ABM Daniel chuckled. “I get that a lot.”

Passchendaele Daniel stayed quiet on his right, eating in silence, and unbothered. He sat as if he didn’t want to draw any more attention to himself. ABM Daniel looked over at him as the other three kept scrolling through his pictures and he reached a hand onto the table to gently get his attention. Passchendaele Daniel looked up at him with a flat expression and almost tearful eyes.

“Are you alright?” ABM Daniel asked softly.

“I don’t do well without my Elizabeth.” Passchendaele Daniel whispered for only him to hear. ABM Daniel was always the best listener and the easiest to talk to and it was obvious to the struggling soldier that he was someone he could trust.

“Do you have a picture of her?” ABM Daniel offered, as some way to keep his mind busy but happy.

A small smile perked at the side of Passchendaele Daniel’s lips and he nodded, reaching into his uniform jacket and he pulled out a small sepia photograph and held it out to his new acquaintance. ABM Daniel smiled thankfully at him and took the photograph, looking down at the old fashion photograph of the gentle young blonde woman.

“She’s beautiful.” ABM Daniel said politely.

“She is. I’m the luckiest man in the whole world to have her. She saves my life every day.” Passchendaele Daniel breathed, his gentle smile grazing his lips ever so delicately as if he was in deep thought.

Three teasing exclaims from across the table caught their attention and ABM Daniel quickly reached over to snatch his phone back. The picture they had swiped to was of Florence in nothing but a small towel blow-drying her hair in the bathroom mirror; a simple moment that ABM Daniel couldn’t help but capture with her in all her natural beauty.

“No more of that.” he blushed furiously as he pocketed his phone again.

Passchendaele Daniel offered his photograph of Elizabeth to the table and the three young men on the other side gladly took it. She was effortlessly beautiful and the three youngest at the table stared at her for a bit longer than was honestly necessary. Passchendaele Daniel bit back a proud grin at their obvious interest.

“I don’t have a photograph of Loretta.” HH Daniel mumbled. “If I did, that would be considered extremely creepy on my part.”

The photograph was passed back to Passchendaele Daniel who pocketed it again and HH Daniel reached to grab another serving from the platters in the middle of the table. A small corner of paper poking out under the dish caught his attention and he wiped his hand on his jeans before pulling it out from under the plate. His eyes went wide at the photograph of Loretta that stared back at him from his hand.

“What’s that?” Amoureux Daniel asked, leaning over his shoulder to take a look.

Surprised, HH Daniel couldn’t find his words for a moment, “I-It’s Loretta.”

The Lotus Inn works in almost magical ways through this ripple in the time space continuum. HH Daniel pulled the picture closer, his heart only aching slightly at simply the sight of her.

“She is hot.” QTVTP Daniel broke the momentary silence.

The four other Daniel’s glared at his bluntness and he put his hands up in defence as he sat back in his chair.

“You can’t have her so don’t even try.” HH Daniel scolded softly before turning back to the photograph.

“I don’t want her. I have my own girlfriend.”

HH Daniel glared warningly at him as he passed the photograph across the table to ABM Daniel and Passchendaele Daniel to take a look at too.

Amoureux Daniel shifted in his chair and reached into his pocket, sure enough to pull out his own picture of Louisa and their brand-new baby son. He stayed perfectly quiet for a moment as he stared at the image himself, disbelieving.

“Oh wow.” he breathed. “It looks so real.”

HH Daniel looked over his shoulder and smiled at the sweet photograph of the young mother holding her baby, “That’s adorable.”

Amoureux Daniel smiled over at him, “That’s my Louisa. And our little prince.”

“Let’s see!” ABM Daniel excitedly held his hand out to take a look at the photograph.

QTVTP Daniel and Passchendaele Daniel glanced over his shoulder with mirrored smiles.

“Damn,” QTVTP Daniel said as he sat down again, “Glad to know we have taste.”

Their pictures were passed around and stories were shared – QTVTP Daniel offering up his phone to show off pictures of his girlfriend and he shared his excited plans to propose to her.

The five young men seemed to find their comfort with each other. Laughter soon filled their table between words of advice and guidance and comfort and soon the food was gone and the drinks were finished and they were all resting back in their chairs through their conversation.

“Is your hair naturally that colour?” Amoureux Daniel asked QTVTP Daniel.

QTVTP Daniel habitually ran his hand through it, fluffing it up a little at the sides, “No, it’s dyed. I kinda like it like this though so I might keep it.”

“It looks cool. Maybe I should go blonde too. Loretta seems to like blondes better anyway.” HH Daniel said.

“No!” The other three at the table said quickly.

HH Daniel looked between all of them in confusion, “Why not?”

“Florence cried her eyes out when I went blonde.” ABM Daniel said. “I swear she was ready to divorce me. It’s not worth it.”

“You look just fine the way you are.” Passchendaele Daniel agreed. “Don’t change just because her boyfriend looks a certain way.”

“Yeah. You’ll regret that.” ABM Daniel nodded.

“I dunno. I don’t regret it.” QTVTP Daniel said coolly.

“You’re not helping.” ABM Daniel snapped lightly, making the rest of the table laugh.

A momentary silence fell over the group, all of them staring into space with content smiles and full stomachs, most topics of conversation well used. The bartender came over to clear the empty plates and they all thanked him once more. ABM Daniel took out his phone to check the time again.

“Well, it’s been over an hour. Maybe we should say our goodbyes. I have little ones to pick up.”

“Yeah.” HH Daniel sighed, setting his napkin back on the tabletop. “I have to pack for college.”

“I have a meeting...” QTVTP checked his watch, “5 minutes ago. Shit. Jonah’s gonna kill me.”

He got up quickly from the table and put his sunglasses back on before taking one last sip of his beer. They all stood up after him and started to gather their things to go.

“Can we take a selfie before we leave?” ABM Daniel offered.

“A what?” HH Daniel laughed.

“A selfie.” Amoureux Daniel breathed. “That’s a ridiculous word.”

“A picture of yourself.” QTVTP Daniel explained.

“Yeah! Come over here.” ABM Daniel took out his phone again and opened up the camera.

“You can take photographs on your telephone? Incredible…” Passcehndaele Daniel breathed as the group gathered behind ABM Daniel and they all leaned in close.

The picture was taken, framing five exact smiles, five exact pairs of light blue eyes, and yet five slightly different hair styles and fashion choices. All their own individual but yet all one in the same.

They shared handshakes that turned into friendly embraces with pats on the back, well wishes, and final goodbyes as they headed their own ways home to once again be seperated by the division of space and time between alternate universes.

ABM Daniel lingered back in the restaurant for a moment, grazing his finger over the table he stood beside with a calm smile. He approached the bartender and ordered a plate of desserts to go – he didn’t get much since Amoureux Daniel seemed to hog them all for himself – and he wanted to bring home his girls a treat. He paid for the cakes and thanked the bar tender before heading out of the restaurant and into the bright sunlit street. His car was parked farther down and he waited in the drivers seat for Florence.

She came quickly out of the Lotus Inn as well, the heavy wind blowing urging her to hold her jacket closed as she rushed down the sidewalk, her dark blonde hair billowing around her head messily and she helped herself into the passenger seat of their car. With the door closed and the wind kept out, she sighed deeply with a content smile and smoothed her messy hair down.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hi, sweetheart.”

They both leaned in for a quick kiss.

“How was lunch?” she asked.

ABM Daniel thought for a moment as he took the car out of park and pulled out onto the street, “It was strange at first but really nice. How was yours?”

“Super fun.” Florence giggled.

“Great! Oh! We took a selfie. I wanted to show you how similar we all looked.” Daniel pulled his phone from his pocket and blindly passed it over to her as he drove through the streets of their city.

Florence took it and typed in his passcode with an excited smile. She opened up his pictures and tapped the most recent one, her smile falling, “Dani, this is only a picture of you.”

“I know!” Daniel laughed. “We looked like quintuplets or something!”

“No…I mean you are the only person in this picture.”

Daniel stopped the car at a red light and glanced over at his phone in her hand. His smile fell as well as he stared at the selfie he had taken before they all parted ways, only his own face captured in the frame, his four new friends missing as if they never existed in the first place.

#anything but mine #🍓#✉#👑#🔪#daniel seavey #daniel seavey x5 #LOL #why dont we #wdw #why dont we fanfic #au #lotus inn #daniel seavey fanfic #btw i typed 'daniel' 207 times

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laurelleghuleh · 4 years ago

Text

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 | 𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, one-shot

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 6.7k

𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐧: Ao3, Wattpad

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: post-time skip, aged-up characters, implied/referenced sex, sensitive topics(?)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: This is a kind of “interactive” one-shot. At some point, you’ll find the link for the playlist I’ve created for the story. It’s not mandatory, of course. The songs are mentioned and their lyrics are quoted anyways.

I tried to keep the reader as gender-neutral as possible, I hope it works.

To be honest, I wrote the first half of this one-shot at 3 am after a very deep conversation with a friend of mine about struggling with self-love as “young adults”. It wasn’t meant to be public but I felt like sharing it. I hope this will help or at least cheer you up as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Lastly, italics when Daichi sings/for the lyrics and English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes!

Thanks for reading this, Laurelle.

---------------------------------

Taxes, laundry, rent, bills, grocery shopping, bank accounts, job interviews. These were just some of the things whose thought alone made you already shiver. Adulthood and the multiple responsibilities that had come with it scared the shit out of you, at times it completely fucked up your sleep schedule, and put your sanity at stake, but at least you weren’t alone in this. At least, you had Daichi.

You two had faced college together, one at each other’s side, and now you were again together in that new chapter of your life called adulthood.

By then, you two had been living in that little, yet cozy apartment for a few months. The Karasuno team had lent you a hand by making the move less hard, unpacking boxes and decorating the empty shelves with an unnecessary amount of frames, random objects, and souvenirs from their trips. All of this as Daichi was training at your hometown’s Police Department and as you were trying to find your place in the world, between part-time jobs and “real” job interviews.

The new routine was dull, draining, at times even overwhelming. The closer you were getting to make your dream life come true, the more your daily life felt like a nightmare. The more you felt tired, unmotivated, ultimately empty. And you couldn't help but wonder if that was really worth it anymore.

You started to slowly give up on your hobbies and passions, to spend your free time on the new couch, just spacing out, and to eventually forget about yourself. You didn’t want to sound too pathetic but life seemed to have lost its flavor. At that point, it just tasted like disinfectants and instant noodles.

Those fucking instant noodles … You thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror that evening. None of your planned outfits for that night fitted anymore, none, and at the sudden realization, that familiar smell of instant noodles rose inside your nostrils. But instant noodles weren’t really the point. Your outfits not fitting anymore wasn’t the point either. That you in that mirror was the point. That stranger. That empty shell.

The familiar boomy sound of keys twisting inside the front door’s lock, a click, and Daichi was finally home.

“I’m baaack” You heard him say - almost yell - and then saw him coming inside the kitchen to greet you.

“May I have a kiss?” He shyly asked, placing his hand on the small of your back, drawing little circles to get your attention.

“Sure,” You turned your head for a quick, soft peck on his lips, then got back to your chore.

“Still in your PJs, babe?” He commented, his voice small, clearly weakened by his long, draining day at work.

By that time, you were supposed to be ready to head out, but something in the process went wrong. On the other side of the city, a nice restaurant - highly suggested by Michimiya sometime before - was waiting for you and Daichi to arrive in twenty minutes.

“Yeah… I have to finish cooking these for tomorrow before we head out…” You murmured as your words fell down to the pot beneath you.

That wasn’t a lie, but in all fairness, you were only trying to avoid the truth. Little did you know you were about to experience what living with a future detective really meant.

Besides his professional deformation, when it came to you, Daichi never failed to sense when something was off. Even just from a slight change of your tone. He was so used to your voice that the most insignificant variation of its sound seemed to conceal a tiny, secret message only for him to decipher.

Anyways, you kept looking down, your mind somewhere else, your eyes still lost in the little fog coming from the pot. You still didn’t dare to look at him, which was rather unusual. Strange. Kind of suspicious.

Daichi rocked his head in your direction, trying to find other tangible clues for that particular case he wasn’t expecting to face once at home. Yet nothing was really out of place, except that gloomy aura all around you. Therefore, he decided to just play it cool for the moment and let you be.

Maybe he was overthinking. Maybe he was just being paranoid. The only thing that really mattered was that night to be perfect for both of you.

It wasn’t a special occasion or else, just Daichi’s first free evening after a whole month of night shifts. And in addition to that, that dinner had been meticulously planned the previous week. Nothing could have ruined it. Nothing.

Yeah, he was just being paranoid, for sure. Nothing to worry about.

Daichi moved away from you and walked towards the front door again. Then, he plugged his phone on the little speaker at the entrance and played the playlist you two loved to blast whenever you were at home, cleaning the house, or just swinging from a room to another.

And that was when everything got even more suspicious in Daichi’s perspective.

The first song came on (“Come Through and Chill” by Miguel, J.Cole, Salaam Remi ), the little bass drums slowly filling the room, vibrating from wall to wall, gradually reaching your feet through that old wooden pavement. And yet, you stayed completely still.

Suspicious .

“Everything ok?” He casually asked you from a distance, putting the phone back down on top of the speaker.

“Yeah, good, good. You?” You mumbled, trying to hide your words under the rhythm.

Even more suspicious .

It wasn’t only your voice, but your posture, your face, just your aura that seemed so… Different. Even though you two hadn’t been living together for long at that point, he could simply tell what looked ordinary and what not. You knew each other and dated since college, which at that point meant years of studying the other up close, not only as partners but firstly - and mainly - as friends. Two best friends always looking out for one another. Those had been years of sincere trust and affection.

Funny thing was that neither of you could imagine that a casual encounter in a cafè would have taken that turn. But Suga knew. And Asahi too. Everybody knew, except you two.

One morning, the vending machine of your department was out of order, and that was just the tenth curveball of that day. It’s not even thirty past eight and I already want to go back to sleep , you sighed, walking outside the campus, looking for a cafè or something.

As fate would have it, the tiny, little-known coffee shop you found right behind the corner was Asahi’s workplace, which brought both Suga and Daichi to have their breakfast there every single morning.

Your first time there, your order was mistaken with Daichi’s, one thing led to another, and after a while, you two started hanging out frequently. Then even more consistently. Then no Asahi or Suga around. No coffee shop. Study sessions at his place. Then at your place. A movie night that actually looked and felt like a proper date. And eventually, that friendship blossomed into something else, something pretty serious.

You didn’t even realize when or how that happened, it just felt right. You two didn’t even have a real “date” for when your relationship had begun. For the sake of simplicity, you both used to count from your first kiss, both aware that whatever you two shared had started even before that, even that morning in that tiny, little-known coffee shop.

That was the type of love that comes easily, without warning, silently tiptoeing into your life.

Back in your apartment, once freed from his jacket, Daichi made again his appearance at your side, now wearing a playful look and about to hit his favorite line of the lyrics. He almost made you startle.

“Hello, stranger… It's been a minute since we last kicked it” He sang and swung around you, positioning himself right behind you to wrap you in a warm hug. Then, gingerly nestling his head in the curve of your neck, he breathed against your skin, “Now that I’m home, I’m all good… ”

Bear hugs were Daichi’s thing and also your not-so-secret Achilles’ heel, for sure. So, you just leaned in his embrace and welcomed his familiar, calming scent. But still, you didn’t have the courage to face him.

Very, very suspicious .

Your oddly detached behaviors made his brow pinch and his mind wander as he left soft pecks all over your jaw and neck. No reaction , Daichi thought, taking mental notes of your actions.

At that point, he gave you one last, gentle kiss, this time on your shoulder, right where the hem of your shirt met your skin, and then silently made a step back. Daichi’s first thought was to temporarily let you be. A quick shower and a change of clothes were very much needed after that long day. He thought he still got time to unravel your mood.

Still focused on the pot, you heard him tell you, before disappearing in your bedroom, “I’ve been thinking about tonight all day, love. I literally can’t wait to try this restaurant!”

You felt a knot in your stomach.

Why was it so hard for you to simply tell him? To simply put into words how you felt? You knew he would have understood, you knew how sensitive Daichi was, especially when it came to you. But to look so needy, so lost in his eyes made you feel just weak. Not vulnerable, not emotional, just a weak person in need. And the last thing you wanted was to look or feel like a burden to Daichi. You knew how stressed and overworked he was. That was a pretty tough period for you both and you felt like you had no right to complain. Daichi never did, and all you wanted was to be as strong as he was.

It didn’t take much for Daichi to be ready, all cleaned up and dressed for the occasion. Nothing too elegant or pretentious, he was a very casual type of guy even when it came to clothes, but that was still your night. A little more effort won’t hurt , he thought as he picked his outfit, preferring a classic, white, button-up shirt to his favorite sweater - his safe choice whenever he didn’t know what to wear.

He just wanted to look good that night, to look good for your eyes only.

Right when “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee started, Daichi’s unmistakable cologne stood above the food’s thick smell coming from the pot. You immediately turned around.

He looked handsome, as always. The view made your belly twitch again.

“Hey hon, remember that time we went to see Spiderman with Suga, Asahi, and Kyoko?” He started to speak, crossing the room with slow strides in your direction.

“You fell in love with this song on the spot. Oh my god, I think you blasted it in the car at least ten times on our way back...” He said wrapping his arms around your waist again, making you turn and trying to initiate a slow dance with you.

“I know you’re scared of the unknown, you don’t wanna be alone” He sang, “I know I always come and go,” The lyrics hitting way too close to home, “But it’s out of my control”

At that point, he held you tight, roaming his big, callous hands all over your back as he glanced at the pot from above your shoulder.

“That looks delicious, babe. Can’t wait to eat it tomorrow. I just know it tastes as good as it looks…”

There he was again, being all supportive and loving no matter what. So damn cheesy, he could have made someone sick. But not you.

You weren’t much of a chef yourself and you knew it, but you tried your best. And Daichi appreciated it a lot. He was so proud of you, always so blindly proud. He was undoubtedly a better chef than you were, but he still left you space to experiment and try out new things.

You never thought you could enjoy cooking that much, but probably Daichi being a foodie played a role in that. A foodie, well, possibly the biggest foodie you knew. The thought alone of food could make him insane, let’s say slightly irrational like he wasn’t functioning normally.

That was at the beginning when you both had all the time in the world to even plan a food competition and invite all your friends over to eat and vote for your plates. In the beginning, when that apartment’s walls were still white and bare, when the only furniture you owned was an old red couch and several boxes with all your things still packed inside. In the beginning, when there were way fewer things to care about in your daily routine.

“It’s ready, I guess. I should turn off the stove… ” You mumbled against his chest, then turned around still sweetly trapped in his embrace.

“Then you’re left in the dust… mhmhIdon’trememberthewordsmm” He kept singing behind your back, “ You’re the sunflower, I think your love would be too-”

When the little flame disappeared under the pot, a sharp sigh accidentally left your mouth.

“Daichi…” You breathed, squeezing his right hand still gently pressed on your belly.

Daichi .

You rarely called him by his first name. You’d usually go with “love” or “babe” or whatever sweet name came into your mind at that specific moment. Daichi . “Daichi” was something like a safeword, a code for “I’m dead serious right now”, “Your mum is calling” or, like this time, “Something is wrong”.

At that signal, the Karasuno’s former captain knew exactly what to do as if a ball had just flown past an invisible volleyball net right in front of him. That was just the confirmation he needed to make his move.

Living together, making a long-term relationship works, sticking together regardless, all of these for you both were based on the little things you started to learn about one another. Most of the time failing but never giving up on the other person. And this, this was one of those “little things”.

Daichi .

Wordlessly, he went straight to his phone and turned down the music at its lowest, the songs just a light, almost unperceivable background. You turned in his direction, watching him attentively, in silence, until he beckoned you to follow him.

You did as told and walked with him towards the living room, where he guided you to sit on the couch, your right hand gently secured in his.

He sat down on his heels, right in front of you, and waited, waited for you to say something, giving you all the time you needed to process your thoughts.

Minutes passed, the music still softly playing in the background.

Spendin' all my nights alone, waitin' for you to call me

You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

I know it's hard but we need each other

(“SUGAR” by BROCKHAMPTON)

When you lifted your gaze to meet his sweet eyes, like two big, dark chocolate nuggets, you still didn’t know what to say. Automatically, his lips parted to catch your attention.

“Love,” His voice so tender it literally broke your heart to keep that facade any longer.

Your lips puckered, your nostrils widened, your eyes got unexpectedly watery until the first of many tears started to run down your face. When your head fell forwards, hiding between your hands, Daichi immediately got you. His arms circled your frame, welcoming you against his chest as you kept weeping noisily.

Daichi stayed silent, his head pressed against your shoulder, moving in sync with each of your sobs.

“Let it out, babe, don’t hold it back.”

At those words, your weeps only seemed to get worse to the point you didn’t know anymore why you were crying in the first place. Maybe you just needed to let it out, to rest, and let yourself get lost in Daichi’s embrace. His warmth felt like home and it was so comforting that after a while you finally cooled down. Nothing was wrong anymore, you were safe and sound.

“When you’re ready, I’m here to listen.” He whispered.

You nodded against his skin, then drew back, revealing your puffed and reddish face. He immediately stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Once back, he kneeled again in front of you and handed you tissues and a glass of water.

“Thanks,” You murmured and then blew your nose.

Daichi just stared at you, his eyes wandering all over your figure as you shrugged and sighed. You opened your mouth only to close it a second later. You didn’t even know where to start. Your bottom lip quivered, you felt like you’re about to cry again.

“What’s going on, love?” His voice small and tender.

You sighed again and gave a quick look to the clock behind him. It was almost time to leave. Actually, at that point, you were already late. Your eyes found his again and a thought occurred to you. He looked so happy until a moment before, singing and dancing, all dressed up, ready to leave and try that restaurant. But now there he was, all worried for you, down on his knees, not caring if that position was messing and creasing his shirt.

“It’s really nothing. Just had a bad day. I should go get-” You tried to stand up, but Daichi’s hands stopped you right there, pinning you down again.

“Are you sure, that’s just it?”

You couldn’t physically bring yourself to lie to Daichi. Not even for the smallest things. Not even for a white lie.

“To be honest, I don’t really feel like going out tonight…”

His eyebrows twitched. First clue unlocked.

“That’s fine. Let me just give them a call-”

“No, no. There’s no need. We should go anyway. It’s really nothing.”

Daichi was never really fond of you being difficult, he’d rather prefer you being straightforward. But sometimes, your pride overtook you. Nevertheless, that was not the right time to point out you were being too stubborn, so he just reassured you, saying,

“Listen, it’s up to you, babe. Your wish is my command, you know that, right?”

Daichi was always so kind. From time to time, you even believed he was way too good for you. Too good, it’s almost unfair , you thought.

“Really, it’s nothing… I’ve been thinking about tonight all day too. I couldn’t wait to finally spend some time with you…”

He giggled, your sweet tone instantly reassured him, “You know we can always stay at home and just watch a movie, right? Just tell me if you don’t feel like going out and I’ll call the restaurant right away.”

“Well, it’s not that… I… I…” You sighed. You really were being too difficult that time. “To be honest, I don’t know what-” Your voice cracked, “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Daichi leaned closer and kissed your forehead, then stood up and grabbed his phone. From a distance you clearly heard him talk to someone, apologizing and saying something else you didn’t quite catch. The restaurant , you thought. You instantly walked towards him and tried to oppose, but Daichi politely hushed you and just hung up.

“Why did you do that?” You asked him.

“Cause it seems like you can’t decide right now. The restaurant can wait, really, but whatever is going on with you cannot. And now, if you want to tell me more about it I’m here, if not I’ll just let you be, or if-”

You grabbed his hands, stopping him. Your head swung from side to side as you collected your thoughts.

“It’s just that… I don’t know where to start.” You said and plopped yourself down on the couch.

He softly asked you when that started, if you remembered what little event had possibly triggered your current mood, and suddenly the right words found their way out of your mouth.

It had just been one of those everything-goes-wrong kinds of days, no rest, and too many things to do that eventually you found yourself already in front of the closet without even realizing it. Your eyes were drained and unfocused after all those hours in front of your laptop, working, sending emails, and stuff like that. Your stomach was aching and bloating after eating the previous night’s leftovers. Your legs were sore. Your mind was blank, empty, and at the same time also full of imprecise thoughts about work, what you needed to do before heading out, the dinner, the clothes, that mirror right in front of you.

You described to him this confused overwhelming sensation you had been experiencing for the previous months and all along Daichi was carefully listening to you, nodding and humming. From time to time he tried to comfort you, saying that it was quite understandable since you both started a new, complicated chapter of your lives since there were so many things to be settled and done, etc. He even apologized if he had accidentally neglected you in some way. He was so stressed and focused on work, he barely noticed what was going on with you. But you didn’t seem to listen to his words. Every single time you just replied with the same anxious thoughts you had already said before.

At some point, Daichi interrupted you, saying, “Babe, look at me and be honest,” then grabbed your hands and looked straight into your still reddish eyes, “Do you want me to listen … Or do you want some advice ?”

That was a thing Daichi had learned with time, not only from you but also from his experience as a captain. Sometimes people just need to vent, some other times to be taken by the hand and helped, but there are also other times when people may even need both.

You sighed. “Both I guess?”

He hummed and kept listening at other incoherent stuff you mumbled next about yourself, your image, your perception of yourself, “And that damn outfit! I’ve been thinking about it all day! It was my only option and it didn’t work! I looked terrible, I could barely stand my reflection in the mirror… Why do I have to feel so miserable about a damn outfit?! And then I put my PJ back on and I thought I looked like a fucking cartoon! I wanted to hide under a blanket and just disappear… I must sound delusional right now…”

New clues unlocked.

“No, absolutely, you’re not delusional, love. But... Let me ask you this. What is really bothering you? How you look or how you feel ?”

You tilted your head and pondered his question. At that moment you realized you had never thought about it that way before. How I look or how I feel… , you kept thinking for a while.

However, you still weren’t able to unravel that truth, therefore you just kept rumbling about those stupid clothes not fitting you anymore for another solid couple of minutes.

Daichi chuckled.

“That just means you need to do more shopping, babe,” He pointed out and leaned in to pepper your neck with soft kisses. You couldn’t help but giggle as his kisses alternated with random names of your favorite shops where you two could have gone to the next day to buy something. But eventually, you lightly pushed him away, not because you really wanted to but... Something wasn’t still quite right and you didn’t know what it was. That made you feel ultimately uneasy.

Daichi drew back on his heels, his hands still on your sides, sweetly caressing your hips. He stayed there and just contemplated you as your mind spun around and other vague thoughts piled up in your head.

“So, is there something else?” He softly asked.

“I guess so… It’s not about the clothes. I think it’s me. I look so different and I feel so different, I can barely recognize myself.”

“Love, you have so many things to do, I know it’s hard to find time for you to eat clean or be active. Maybe I should propose less pizza and stuff—”

“No, no, babe, it’s not you... I just feel awful about myself.”

“You feel , but you’re definitely not. I guarantee you that.” Daichi immediately comforted you.

“You know the saying, love is blind…” You tried to joke around.

“It sure is. I could love you with my eyes closed, but even with my eyes wide open, I can’t see anything wrong with you.”

Daichi’s love confessions were sappy at their core, but his voice was always so direct and honest they always sounded like facts. And they never failed to catch you off guard. Daichi used to be shy and awkward in the beginning of your relationship. He was constantly blushing hard and messing with his sentences whenever it came to talk to you. However, with time, his affection and ways started to be so sincere and straightforward you didn’t even know how to contradict him or how to even say anything back.

“I wish you could see yourself through my eyes…” His tone suddenly painted with melancholy, “Then you could see how beautiful you are, how precious, how…” He felt it too. He felt he was getting too emotional, so he tried to take the edge off, coming back to his goofy side. “No, no. Rewind. You might end up dumping me. Nah nah, not gonna happen!” He muffled, hiding his head against your belly, curling up with his torso over your lap.

You couldn’t help but laugh. You loved him so much.

“Jokes aside,” He said, lifting his head and looking up at you. “Tell me, babe, is this really such a big deal? Because if it bothers you to this point, you should think about it more carefully... Can I help you in some way?”

“Honestly, I-I don’t know how you could help me,” You confessed, “I feel like I’m not taking care of myself, but I also lack motivation to actually do something about it. It’s a dog chasing its own tail, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it… Well, I could encourage you, first. But then I could also help you and try to do things with you, like…” He thought about it for a couple of seconds. “What if I call Tanaka? He's a personal trainer but he also knows a lot about nutrition. He may suggest something delicious but fast and healthy for us to cook. It could be beneficial for both of us. We have been literally eating our stress away recently. You know what, I feel bloated too…” Daichi added and then proceeded to touch his tummy.

You lightly pushed him again and started to shower him with compliments. You couldn’t wrap your mind around the fact that Daichi could ever possibly be insecure about himself. He was… Daichi. He was just perfect.

He smirked at your reaction and got closer to shut your mouth with a sudden, deep kiss.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He whispered, just an inch away from your lips.

“Sure, what is it?” You said almost laughing. A secret?

“Ok, look at my pants,” Daichi said, drawing back until he stood up, right in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m looking at them and they look really good on you-” You started to say and tried to make him spin around to point out how good he looked in those dark pants. That was actually your favorite pair, you loved the way they highlighted his muscular legs, how- But he stopped you right there.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok, thanks, but have you noticed that I’m not wearing any belt? And actually haven’t worn one in a while?”

You frowned. Where is he getting at?

“And you know why? I don’t really need one anymore. These pants stay up regardless,” Daichi confessed, giggling, “What I mean is… Look, you still like how they fit me. I still like how they fit me. I just know that you would like them even in another size. I would like them as well.”

You just stared at him, quietly pondering his words.

“Anyways, the pants are not the real point. These are just pants. Those things that didn’t fit you aren’t the real point either. You see what I’m trying to tell you?”

You did. You got what he meant, but you were still doubting yourself somehow. Because, in your mind, not fitting your old clothes was just the result of something that slipped out of your hands as you struggled to take care of anything else, except yourself. It wasn’t about your weight or the clothes, it was about losing track of yourself in the process.

“You think I’m perfect while I may, well, I am certainly not. Same goes for you. None of us is perfect, never been, never will. We are just us,” He got closer and sweetly brushed your hair behind your ears, “But for me, in my eyes, you are. And apparently, I’m too in yours. And that’s all that matters.”

Again, just straight facts.

Also, whenever he gave you one of his motivational speeches, he really looked like a captain. You could vividly picture the scene in your head, his teammates carefully listening to him, hanging off his words, right before an important match or even just a regular training session.

“I know it’s extremely cheesy to hear, but it’s also the truth. You’re perfect just the way you are and you’ll always be to me…” His voice small as he kneeled again in front of you. “Even now. Even if you feel lost. The you you’re looking for is still there, it’s not going anywhere. You just need some time and patience to find yourself again.”

You immediately cupped his face, about to tell him something, but before you could spell a single word, he whispered,

“But… But if this is a problem, something you want to change or improve, something you need some help with, then let’s do it, let’s do it together. No. Better. Let’s do it right now!”

Daichi immediately stood up and ran back to the kitchen, where you used to keep your little notebook. Once back, armed with a pen and unmovable willpower, he sat down again and opened the agenda on your lap. Going through your schedule, he noticed how packed it was, pages and pages filled with appointments and notes, but that didn’t scare him.

“Mmm… So, here’s the plan. Our lunch breaks on Monday and Friday look pretty long. We could… Meet at the park. You know, the one right after the supermarket, down the street-”

You nodded, showing him you were following him.

“We could jog a little and then eat something together! That way we’d see each other, have some fun and do something good for our health too… I know jogging doesn’t actually sound much fun, but I swear we’ll have a good time, babe. What do you think?”

Your lips curled upwards into a soft, little half-moon. You couldn’t say no to that.

“Sounds like a plan…” You simply commented.

He looked relieved and then added, “Also, remember that lunch at my mum’s next Sunday? Why don’t we just skip it and go somewhere fancy, like a spa-”

“But we promised-” You tried to object.

“Babe, I know, I know, but we can go some other time. She’ll understand.”

“Okay…”

“It’ll be beneficial for both of us, for real. To be honest, I think I’m this close to a breakdown too,” He laughed.

“You’re right, we should definitely go… You know, I was also thinking about joining some sort of club. I feel like I don't have a hobby or a passion anymore. It’s always work, work, work, the apartment, work, work, work. I feel so… Arid? Mentally. You know what I mean?”

“Yeah… Me too, I was thinking the same exact thing this morning actually… Maybe I should join a volleyball team again. Nothing serious but like a team to play with, just once in a while-”

Your eyes widened, “Oh God! Yes! Absolutely! You should definitely do that, love!”

Daichi nervously chuckled. He wasn’t expecting such an enthusiastic and energetic reaction from you, not after having seen you so blue and distant since he had come back home.

You loved seeing him playing volleyball. You still remembered vividly the times you used to sneak a peek at his practice and matches during college. The first time you saw him playing, all sweat and absorbed in the game, you did a double-take. He looked so hot.

“Alrighty, I’ll definitely think about it… Don’t worry, love, we’ll figure something out.”

“As we always did…” You added, shyly smiling at him.

That situation made you wonder. Life could be hard at times, but if you had the right people around you to rely on, to fight with, or simply talk to, it didn’t seem like that tough anymore.

“Yeah…” He smiled back and instinctively leaned forward to hug you tightly as you welcomed his frame against your chest.

After a few silent minutes, you muffled against his shoulder, “Thank you… I don’t even know how to tell you how thankful I am right now… ”

And in all fairness, there wasn’t much else to add.

“You could start by being less hard on yourself, love,” Daichi said, still pressed against you, “You’re doing so great…”

“You’re way too good to me.” You murmured back, your voice slightly above a whisper.

At your words, he brushed his head from side to side against your shoulder, silently disagreeing with your affirmation. He was just as good to you as you deserved.

Right at that moment, “Best Part” by Daniel Caesar and H.E.R. came on and Daichi thought that there couldn't have been a better time than that for that specific song to start.

He drew back from your hug and guided you to stand up with him, then walked backward to reach the center of the living room, his eyes still fixed on you.

“Siri, turn up the volume!” He ordered his phone to do as he took you in his arms.

You simply stared at him and followed his actions, like a puppet under his spell. His arms welcomed your figure and your fingers locked, your two bodies perfectly molded one against the other as you slow-danced to the rhythm, allowing yourself to utterly enjoy that moment.

A strange feeling warmed your belly, like an overwhelming wave of happiness was overtaking all your senses. Your mouth instinctively opened to shower Daichi with random compliments, words of gratitude, and all sorts of sweet nothings. He loved to be praised by you but after a while he tried to playfully hush you, holding you even tighter and whispered next to your ear a line of that song that seemed to be written right for you. Better, right for him to sing it for you.

“I just wanna see how beautiful you are, you know that I see it, I know you're a star. Where you go I follow, no matter how far. If life is a movie, oh you're the best part…”

The music eventually faded and an hour later you and Daichi were once again in your bed, curled up in your sheets, as you leafed through Netflix’s catalog, fruitlessly. In the end, you just end up cuddling and ultimately dozing off. Nothing special had happened that night, but you felt so restored, at peace, as if everything was completely fine again.

When you woke up the morning after, Daichi was already gone. You were used to this too. No night shifts meant early shifts. But this also had its perks, like the tiny heart-shaped post-it notes he liked to leave in the bathroom for you to read them as you washed your face or brushed your teeth. The breakfast? Ready on the kitchen counter, another post-it note on top of it. And then another one, on the front door, “I can’t wait to see you at lunch <3”

At noon, you two met up at the park as planned. A little warm-up under Daichi’s careful instructions and then you were ready to start. Just a casual jog, nothing too demanding, as you enjoyed the fresh air and the good company of that day.

During the whole run, Daichi kept encouraging you like a real captain and a loyal partner would do, saying that you were doing great, that you looked very good in those leggings, that you were half done at that point, and then that you could do it, you were almost at the end at that point.

“The last lap, babe! We’re almost done!” Daichi shouted, turned his head in your direction, and gave you a wide, shining smile.

“I-I think I’m done for today…” You panted as you struggled to keep up with his pace.

“Six more minutes and we’re done! C’mon! Don’t give up!” He incited but you soon waved the white flag, signaling him your surrender.

Daichi halted and got closer to you. A strange, gloomy aura suddenly spread all around him. A mischievous grin appeared on his face right when he whispered, an inch away from your sweaty face,

“Quitters don’t get their prize, you know that?”

Your breath almost failed you, when you told him, “Yeah, yeah, you can eat my lunch, I don’t want it anymore…”

But apparently, Daichi had another prize in his mind, another type of meal .

“Mmmh, that’s not the reward I was planning to give you…” His voice sounded dangerously seductive for the location you two were at the moment. Your eyes widened at the sudden realization.

His hands slowly roamed from your hands to your shoulders, then cupped your cheeks. His tone got back to normal when he playfully squeezed your face and said, “Six minutes!”

Six minutes passed and the jog was finally over. A little picnic at the park, a quick shower together at home, and then you were good to go. Your afternoon’s tasks awaited you.

That evening Tanaka and Kyoko joined you for dinner. They were both more than happy to give you some advice, to recommend easy and healthy recipes, and to see how the apartment had changed since their last visit.

Later that night, you and Daichi were again in your bed, tired but definitely satisfied. Your back was pressed against his broad chest, your body secured in his warm embrace, your thoughts were quiet, both your body and mind at peace.

You had worked, you had jogged, you had had some fun with Daichi at the park, you had also found some time to finish that book you had forgotten on your desk. Well, actually, Daichi had been texting you during the whole afternoon to remind you to take some breaks from time to time, to have a snack or read something. The dinner with Tanaka and Kyoko had cheered you up more than planned and that full, yet satisfying day was finally over.

You were still lost in your thoughts when you felt Daichi snuggle up, holding you even tighter than before. His left arm was wrapped around your figure while the right one was on top of yours, his fingers gently rubbing your hand, then your wrist and forearm, drawing imaginary patterns all over your skin. As he got closer, ultimately closing that tiny gap between you two, his head found the crook of your neck and gently nestled in it. Then he asked you, his voice hoarse with weariness,

“So? About the jog, did you like it?”

“Weeeell, let’s say that I liked it but mainly because we did it together.” You confessed, “Would I do it alone? I don’t know… Maybe?”

“Fair enough,” He replied and placed a sloppy kiss on your shoulder, his fingers still loosely tracing your arm. Then there was silence, the room was from time to time filled only with the muffled sound of those soft pecks he kept on leaving on your skin.

“You know,” Daichi whispered at some point, between a kiss and another, “Jogging is not the only option…” He paused to clear his throat, “There are other types of activities that we could do…” Another kiss, his breath warm against your neck, his tone husky with desire when he added, “That we could do indoor…”

#daichi x you #daichi x reader #daichi headcanon #daichi sawamura #daddy daichi #haikyuu oneshot #one shot #read on ao3 #read on wattpad #spotify #i wrote this at 3am #sawamura daichi x reader #sawamura daichi #fluff

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whenihaveyouromione · 4 years ago

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When I Have You - Chapter 4

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you’d prefer.

Don’t forget to follow the instagram account for this story (without spaces): ‘whenihaveyou . romione’

Chapter 4

It was the day Ron had been dreading more than any other. He'd been trying not to think about it, trying to distract himself as best he could. But after two weeks, he knew that he had to face it. They all did.

Saying goodbye to Fred.

The funerals had started yesterday, the first being that of Colin Creevey's. The young Gryffindor had had quite the turnout, including all of the Hogwarts staff, his friends, and even Kingsley Shacklebolt, the newly appointed Minister for Magic.

It was the mission of the Ministry to have at least some of its members attend each funeral in honour of those who had died fighting valiantly. Every person would be awarded an Order of Merlin, First Class, and their names would be forever etched in two monuments — one at the Ministry, the other at Hogwarts.

Ron hadn't known Colin all that well, but he'd gone to his funeral anyway, preparing himself for what was to come next. It was sad. Colin’s Muggle parents looked overwhelmed, yet honoured, by the impact their apparently average son had made in a world they weren't even familiar with.

There had been many tears.

Harry had shown up, but he kept his distance. He didn't even acknowledge Ron or Hermione, which had upset Hermione. After the funeral, she’d made an attempt to speak to him, but Harry had stood away from them, watched the funeral, and then left the moment it was finished. Many people hadn't even seen him arrive, but by the sad look Ginny had on her face after he'd gone, Ron knew she had. Ron placed an arm around her, offering her comfort in the best way he could.

Colin's funeral had been bad, but Ron knew that it wouldn't even come close to Fred's. Not for the Weasley family. It was due to begin at eleven o'clock, and the time seemed to go both fast and slow at the same time. Fast, because he didn’t want the moment to come, slow because he just wanted to get it over with.

Ron felt lost as he stared at himself in the small mirror in his room. He was wearing dress robes borrowed from Percy (who, with his former job, managed to buy multiple sets of nice ones), but it didn't feel like enough. Fred shouldn't have even been gone. No one should have. It simply didn't seem fair.

He was just contemplating changing when a shriek from the kitchen below drew Ron’s attention. A moment later, he heard his mother sobbing.

With a heavy sigh, Ron left his room and headed downstairs to see what had happened. It really was going to be a long day.

To his utter shock, Molly's tears were not from sadness, but from joy. Standing in the kitchen, tears streaming down his own face, was George. He allowed himself to be engulfed in his mother's arms, and the two stood there for ages, hugging and crying.

Ginny and Hermione, who were already dressed, stood nearby, tears in their own eyes as they watched the reunion with a mix of sadness and joy on their faces.

George was home. It had been his mother's most desperate desire, to have all the family back together. Till now, George had refused. Despite some attempts made by all of his brothers in the beginning, George had shut every single one of them out. He had kept his flat door sealed to any magic, and no one wished to use a charm strong enough to break the enchantments. So they had left him to grieve on his own.

Ron was pleased to see him, because he knew no one had been sure if he'd make it to the funeral at all.

Tears still falling from his eyes, George pulled away from his mother. He looked around. Everyone was in the kitchen watching, silent. And he hugged them all, one by one. Fleur and Hermione included.

Afterwards, there was some light talk, but mostly everyone remained silent. The funeral was to take place in the village below, protected from Muggle intruders by magic. It was where Fred had grown up, and it was where he was going to be buried.

They could have walked, but Ron doubted anyone had much energy for that, so they went to the nearest Apparition point just outside the boundaries of the Burrow. Ron watched everyone turn on the spot, disappearing into thin air. Ginny grabbed Arthur’s hand, and they, too, vanished.

Beside Ron, Hermione gripped his hand. "Ready?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

He swallowed. Would he ever be ready? But he nodded, and he felt the gentle pull of her Disapparating them both down to the village. They landed within the confinements of the enchantments that had been placed there earlier.

Ron felt sick. So many people were there already; most he recognised, but some were strangers. He saw Lee Jordan, Angelina Johnson, Neville was there…

He felt himself sway on the spot, the only thing stopping him from falling over was Hermione gripping his arm.

She'd said nothing to him for most of the morning; she didn't need to. Her presence told him enough: she was here for him, no matter what he needed.

All he needed was for this day to be over.

They walked forward, Hermione's hand still on his arm. They found two seats near the front, behind his parents. Bill and Fleur and George sat next to Ginny and Percy. Once seated, Hermione linked her fingers with his and they just sat in silence.

It didn't even occur to Ron to look for Harry until he heard Hermione's gasp. He looked up; Harry had slid into the vacant seat beside her without speaking. He reached across and patted Ron's knee.

Ginny stared, and he gave her a small smile. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

As Bill made his way to the stand, a piece of crumbled parchment in his hands, Ron realised that he had been wrong. Getting to the funeral had not been the hardest thing — listening to everyone speak was. Bill had volunteered on behalf of his devastated mother, Arthur said a few words, and Fred's friend Lee Jordan spoke on behalf of George.

Halfway through Bill's words, hot tears formed, silently sliding down Ron’s face. Once started, they wouldn't stop.

He could no longer see his brother standing up at the front; he was just a blur of shapes as Hermione's arms found him. They were warm and comforting as he buried his face against her shoulder and cried silently against her. His whole body shook, but she didn't let him go. She sat beside him, her arms gently caressing him in comfort, her own tears running down her cheeks.

His mother's loud sobs echoed throughout, while Bill's voice cracked a number of times while he ploughed on with his speech. Ron barely noticed any of it, lost now, to the despair that he'd been holding back for two weeks.

Fred was gone. His brother. How could his brother be gone? It just wasn't fair.

Eventually the funeral ended and Fred was buried in a cemetery filled with so many others. It almost felt as if he was too good to go there, with people who'd probably had a much less remarkable life.

Hermione stayed by Ron's side the whole time. Even after the tears stopped, and then came again, she didn't let him go. Not once. Not when Fred was buried; not when Ron couldn’t leave the cemetery long after most of the others had; not when Ron could only watch the headstone be placed on top of the freshly covered earth. Through everything, she stayed.

The sun was just beginning to set when he came to himself. He didn’t know how long he’d been there, watching the grave site, hoping for something that he knew wasn’t going to happen. It was just him and Hermione… and George.

Hermione finally let him go, her arm running soothingly along Ron’s arm as he made his way to his brother. George knelt by Fred’s grave, head bowed and tears streaming down his face. They hadn’t stopped since Ron had seen him that morning.

Looking back at Hermione, who smiled sympathetically, he knelt by George and together they stayed like that for who knew how long. Despite summer being very close, the evening air was still cool as the sun completely disappeared and the moon came out. It was a rare clear sky, and Ron liked to think it was Fred’s way of saying one final goodbye.

When his knees began to ache, and Hermione had long been gone, Ron spoke, his voice hoarse. “Let’s go home.” He dragged George to his feet by the arm. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”

They returned to just outside the Burrow’s boundaries, walking silently through the night, over the hill, until the dim light from their family home flickered in the distance. Like Hermione had done for him throughout the day, Ron kept a hold of his brother, making sure he made every step, catching him if he stumbled.

When they reached the Burrow, they were greeted by a sullen silence. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, some holding mugs of tea, others staring at something that wasn’t there. But George’s presence woke them. They all looked up, and Molly stood, running to him and throwing shaking arms around him.

Hermione walked timidly over to Ron. “How are you?” she asked.

Ron nodded. He couldn’t find the words to explain, but he was alive, he was coping… more than George, more than his mother. That was something.

His eyes scanned the room. “Harry…”

“He went back to Grimmauld Place,” she said softly. “But… Ginny went with him.”

It was then Ron realised that his sister was also missing. Without any reason, more tears sprang to his eyes. Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist, her head resting against his chest. His tears rolled down his face and onto the top of her head, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She only held him tighter, lifting her head and whispering so softly that even he struggled to hear her.

“I love you.”

Those words, as simple as they were, were enough to bring a smile to his lips, and a thought — as horrible as it made him feel to even think it — in that moment, standing in the kitchen with his family, he felt grateful that it wasn’t her funeral he had just come back from. A loss such as that might just have ended him.

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geekydane · 5 years ago

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Talk to me - Tommy Shelby x reader - chapter 9

Masterlist

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It was strange how little everything changed around the office after the thread. The way that Tommy’s people reacted to finding their friend dead made you think that everyone would run around in panic. But it was like they all looked to Tommy as soon as he stepped inside and tried to copy his mood. If the boss wasn’t panicking, they shouldn’t be panicking. One thing that you noticed was that Tommy was more and more out of the office. There were even days where he didn’t come in at all and on those days the people in the betting shop and the rest of the office was kind of uneasy but tried not to act any different. It was the look in their eyes that you noticed.

Despite not coming into the office he was always with you at night. He always looked exhausted but he always gave you that little smile and would fall into you on the bed. You didn’t mind that he didn’t come pick you up as often either. Often you wouldn’t even leave the resident after work, because Ada invited you to stay and talk or the two of you went out while Polly looked after Karl. Somehow she always at a lot to talk about and could talk for both of you. It almost felt like before all the bad things happened to you and you were out with your friends.

You followed Ada home and stayed with her and Polly in the evenings before excusing yourself to Tommy’s room. They always gave you a smirk and bit you good night. You knew by then that they thought that you and Tommy was much more than just sleeping next to each other, but would they really believe you? Your night gown had a permanent place in Tommy’s drawers now and one of their maids was washing it for you. It was strange to think that someone in their household was washing your clothing and laying it back like you were a part of their family. It made you feel weird and fuzzy inside. It was also one of the reasons that you had got the habit of waking up earlier than Tommy to get home to your own apartment to wash yourself and get new clothing. The thought of Polly catching you again and forcing you to each breakfast with the whole Shelby family made it even weirder.

When you started to get the first bills from Manchester you went to knock on Tommy’s door. After a moment without him answering you opened anyway. He was sat reading over a stack of papers and as you opened up the door all the way, you could see him frown over the top of the papers.

“When I don’t answer it’s because I don’t want to be inte…” He stopped when he looked up from the papers and saw you.

“Y/n. Come in. I was just reading over a few reports.” His frown disappeared and his whole tone changed from anger to relieve.

“What do you got there?” He asked, reaching out for the bills in your hand. You gave them to him and went to the other side of the table and pointed to the place with the address from Manchester.

“Aaah I see. It’s good that you reacted. I will take care of these myself. Thank you.” He looked up at you and gave you a quick smile and looked the paper over. You were about to leave again when Tommy called your name. You turned around to see him being leaned back with folded hands over his stomach.

“You never told me about your first impression of Mick King.” He said calmly and nodded at the chair in front of him. You sat down as he found a piece of paper and a pen for you to use.

I think he is a very dangerous man who sits in the same position as you. But he isn’t doing any of the dirty work himself, he’s just ordering around. I think the man he brought with him was the wicked one.

“Wicked. Good word.” Tommy read aloud from your paper and a hint of a laugher escaped him. He handed back the paper to you, which indicated that the talk wasn’t over.

“You must never forget, y/n, that I am a dangerous man too. But I don’t like to be compared with him. He’s still a threat to all of us and has the connections to move things around to his advantage. I have to step really careful with these deals. So if there is any more bills like these give them to me here in the office or put them in the top drawer to the right if I’m not in.” Tommy looked you directly in the eyes as he spoke.

Call me wicked as well but I only see you doing the necessary to protect your family.

You wrote on the paper and handed him it again. He frowned at your words and shook his head.

“You don’t know half of what I’ve done, but in the end it is to make life good for my family. I would prefer if none of them have to do anything ever again, unless if they want to.” At this point his focus had shifted away from you and it looked like he was looking beyond the small office you found yourself in. He was deep in thoughts. You could almost see the trauma he had been thought plying in his eyes like going to the pictures. You wrote a response on the note and stood up and walked to his side of the desk. He looked up at you as you were standing over him but you still felt so small compared to this man. You couldn’t help but reach out and let your knuckles stroke over his cheek. You would have thought that he would have removed himself from your touch or maybe felt it degrading, but it was like he was moving into your touch. You lowered your hand as you gave him the note again.

Have you ever voiced that to your family?

“I’m usually not a man of many words, y/n. But somehow you bring up that side of me that I didn’t think excited anymore. You make me so damn sentimental that I forget what I am for a while. I can’t decide if it’s freeing or a curse.”

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It was one of those days Tommy was called out to emergency and left the office in an impressive speed. It became too often that some of the Blinders would storm thought the office to get to the Shelby brothers. You tried your best to not think about the guns in their hands when they left out of the door again, too busy to hide them away before they enter the busy streets of Small Heath.

After work you went out with Ada and her son. You didn’t go for anything specific, but you were looking at windows of the different shops along the street. You had taking up the job of carrying Karl around on your hip as Ada would always end up buying something when you were out.

“Oh look at that hat! The colours are so vibrant! It would go really well to my two piece suit I got for work. What do you think?” Ada was pointing to the window were a dark blue hat with a little black feather was fasten to its side with a silver brooch. You nodded quickly but something on the other side of the road caught your attention. You don’t know why, because there were quite a lot of people in the streets at that time of day, but your eyes caught a man lurking on the other pavement. When your eyes locked with his under his cap you recognised his to be Mick King’s right hand man.

You snapped your head away from him and back to Ada. Were you in danger? Would he do anything when you were out in the streets? Ada was still talking about the hat as you peaked at the man again. He hadn’t moved at all. He was just staring at the three of you. You pushed Karl a little further up your hip and tried to get Ada’s attention by walking up close to the window in line of sight. She looked at you and must have seen the severity in your expression. She immediately stopped talking and you tried to communicate to her to look over your shoulder to the man, only using your eyes movement. Her eyes followed your discreetly and she stood a little taller as she discovered the man on the other side of the street.

“How long has he been following us?” She whispered. You shrugged because you really didn’t know. You had be walking around for almost an hour but it wasn’t until just then that you had discovered him. It made a chill run down your spine just thinking that he might have followed you the whole time.

“You know who he is?” She asked as she tickled Karl on the stomach, making the toddler squirm in your arms. You knew it was all a distraction so he didn’t know you were talking about him. You nodded to Ada and her lips became a thin line. She took hold of your elbow which made you flinch like always. She looked at you apologetic as she guided you down the road and towards Shelby Company Limited.

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That night Tommy arrived after you got ready to go to bed. You were about to dive under the covers as he marched inside and threw himself in the sofa. He just sat there for a long while staring at nothing. You started to worry about him and grabbed the pen and paper that was always next to the bed and wrote him a note before sitting down next to him in the sofa.

Is everything OK?

Tommy read the note and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees while rubbing his face with his hands. He looked so stressed that it was getting to you too. You started to rub circles on his back and you could feel how tense his muscles were under the shirt.

“There is a lot to think about. Plans to consider.” He mumbled into his hands. You kept rubbing his back until you could feel that he slowly started to relax under your touch. When he finally lifted his head he smiled at you.

“I will get ready for bed. I’ll be back in a moment.” He said and disappeared into the wash room. You went back to the bed and lay down under the covers, enjoying the warmth of them, since the fireplace wasn’t lit. Tommy surprised you by dropping down onto the bed with heavy movements and drew and arm out for you immediately. You hesitated for a beat but scooted over and put your head on his shoulder. What you didn’t expect was that he curled his arm around you and forced you halfway on top of him. His other arm draped lazily over your middle. You were a little overwhelmed with all the touching but at the same time it felt like Tommy needed it. It felt good to be needed so you tried to relax and sleep in Tommy’s arms.

The sleep didn’t last for long as you were awoken by car doors slamming shut outside. Tommy awoke as well and got up so fast that he almost dragged you out of the bed along with him. He walked to the window and drew away the curtain to look out.

“Shit.” He mumbled under his breath and he ran to the wash room. He came out a moment later fully clothed, trying to button his manchet buttons. You could see he was in a hurry and it was another one of his emergencies, so you got up and took over buttoning his manchets for him. The corner of his month rose shortly when your eyes met, but he left without saying a word. You couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night without him.

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When you went home to change clothing Tommy hadn’t returned after he ran to whatever situation had occurred that night. When you arrived at the office he wasn’t in either and he was always there much earlier than anyone else. Beside for the absence of Tommy the day went on as it used to. A lot more bills from Manchester went in and you went thought all you had received and collected all from Manchester and went to Tommy’s office to hide them away in his drawers. You sat down in his chair as you opened up the drawers and placed the bills on the top but pushed as far back as possible.

“What the hell are you doing in here?” Came an angry voice from the still opened door into Tommy’s office. Arthur came towards you with a grim expression on his face, but right after him came Tommy and John. They all stared at you as you stood up from Tommy’s chair.

“Just because you...” Arthur was about to yell at you but Tommy gave him a threatening glare that made the older brother shut up, but you couldn’t help but cower away and pointed to the drawer that Tommy had mentioned to you. Tommy nodded and came over and put a reassuring hand in the small of your back.

“I told her she could but the bills…” Tommy was about to explain as more people stepped into the office. To your horror you saw it was none other than the Mick King again. His right hand man stood next to him, glaring from Tommy to you. It went cold down your spine and you tensed up. As a few more men stepped into the office, Tommy removed his hand from you, but you had already got the attention from Mr. King and a wicked smile played on his lips.

“Aaah. Mr. Shelby! I was in the area and thought I might step inside and see how things went. Seeing that my warnings don’t seem to work.” He stepped forward and sat on the chair in front of Tommy’s desk.

”Y/n, will you step outside?” Tommy asked you without showing any emotions at all. You were already on your way out when Mr. King’s men stopped you.

“Oh no. Just let her be in here. Like last time! She seems like an important employee.” The pressure he put in the last word made you realize that he had come to some kind of conclusion about you and he was not about to let you be. You sat down at the little writing desk where you usually sat doing meetings.

“Rudge. Give her some paper and a pen. She’s always sitting over there. Scribbling.” Rudge was apparently his right hand man, because the big man grabbed the things from Tommy’s desk and went over to you. You could feel your whole body shaking when he towered over you. He placed the things in front of you and gave you a creepy smile that send you right back to the memory of your assault. The smile that looked more like a sneer from a predator that couldn’t wait to play with its pray. You felt a little better as John stepped over next to you. He didn’t give you the same feeling of safety that radiated from Tommy, but it was enough to control the shaking of your hands.

“So, Mr. Shelby. I didn’t take you for a fool. “ Mr. King started as he leaned back.

“I am no fool, sir.” Tommy only talked back and mimicked King’s calm manner.

“Well I can’t think of any other reason for you to continue doing business in my city. I the end you won’t have any more people working for you. You see, I am counting in percentage here. For every percentage my men are calculating is missing from my business, you will find a dead Blinder somewhere in the streets of Birmingham. How many of your men have you found until now, Shelby?” Mr. King leaned forward mockingly and laid his folded hands on Tommy’s desk. Was what he said really true? Was there more than Arley, Buckley and Grey that was found that night? You looked at Tommy in horror as his jaw tightened.

“We’ve found 14.” He said too calmly for your liking. 14 people were dead since the first time King showed up at the office? And Tommy continued his work in Manchester? Didn’t people mean anything to him? You shuddered as King started laughing for himself. Soon Rudge followed along with the rest of King’s men.

Well then you’ll have to take a look around the streets. You’ll have one more lying around because my calculation hit 15% just yesterday.” King stopped laughing like someone pressed an off button. His men followed just as quickly and there was a dead silence as everyone’s eyes were on Tommy. 15 men had died and he was still sitting there so calmly. Like none of it mattered to him. Was he really the man you have learnt to know through all those nights?

“I am a surprisingly patient man and my previous offer still stands if you cut the crap and get your ass the hell out of my city. I only have one more addition. It’s nothing really.” King shrugged.

“And what would that be?” Tommy said and tipped his head to the side. He still looked so damn intimidating but it didn’t seem to work on King. The man just smiled and looked to you.

“She looks like a good fuck and surly she can’t be worth the same as a life of one of your good men. She’s only a secretary, right?” His eyes never left your body as he spoke and you felt sick to your stomach. His words struck you like lightning and you had to remind yourself to breath. You looked to Tommy for any reassuring that this deal wouldn’t be taken but were you really worth more than the life of 15 of his men? Or even one? Tommy didn’t look to you at all but you could see how his hands curled into fists and his knuckles turned white. That was a good sign, right?

But was it selfish of you to hope that Tommy would say yes? If Tommy gave you to Mick King, there wouldn’t die anymore of his men. As King said, you were only a secretary and on top of that; a broken woman. You weren’t able to talk. You weren’t able to have normal human interaction without anxiety hanging over your head. Were you really worth the same as any other human?

“I wouldn’t fuck her if I was you.” Tommy said. You still looked to him, but he never met your eyes.

“Is that so?” King said and chuckled. You met his hungry gaze and let the arms snake around your body as a foolish way to hide yourself away.

“She was raped by some nasty fellers a while back and was thrown out with the trash. We are sure she’s carrying Syphilis or worse but she’s good at sitting at her desk looking pretty. It’s good for the business when men come through here. You don’t want to come near her though.” Tommy explained and your eyes were back on him immediately. Was he really thinking that of you? Did he think that you had any VDs? Why did he bring up your assault like this? Why did people have to know? A strange mixture of emotions went through you as your glance bored into the side of Tommy’s head. A mix of guilt, sadness, anxiety, but most of all anger. Was that really what he thought of you? Some piece of meat just sitting there, being pretty but toxic? A piece of trash that he collected and took with him home? The worst was that you actually felt like exactly that but Tommy had made you forget, until just then.

“What a shame but I like that you are honest with me. I’ll let you think about the deal but if I hear that you are trespassing one more time, I will stop being so easy to work with, understand?” Without waiting for an answer from Tommy, Mick King stood up and made a sign for his men to follow him out. They left and closed the door behind them. That meant it was deadly silent in the office for a long time. The three brothers all stared out in the air like they were processing everything that just happened. Your eyes were still on Tommy that still hadn’t looked at you. That only made it clear to you that you didn’t want to be there anymore. You pushed your chair back with a loud screeching noise on the wooden floor and you stumbled towards the door.

“Y/n.” Tommy called after you but you only glared at him over your shoulder before leaving. Lizzie sat dumbfounded outside with her hands in her lap.

“What happened in there? Y/n?” As she said your name and got up, you felt the tears start running down your cheeks and Lizzie looked at you worryingly. You didn’t want her pity. You didn’t want anyone’s pity. So you picked up your purse that was sat next to your desk and ran out the door.

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It was a long time since you had been home at night. All of your night gowns and toiletries were at Tommy’s place but you didn’t want to leave your apartment to get them. You really didn’t know what to think about him or yourself anymore. You know that you hated yourself, your anxiety and what you let people do to you but Tommy had made you forget that for a long while and you actually thought that you were getting better. But hearing those words come from him hit hard, even if they weren’t true. You also had a hard time thinking about the fact that Tommy had let 15 men die for this cause that you didn’t really understand, other that you knew that he wanted to provide for his family. But did people really have to die for it?

‘You must never forget, y/n, that I am a dangerous man.’ His words played in your mind as you laid down in your bed and pulled the duvet over you. You didn’t know why you went to bed because you know you wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. You just lay there staring out in the air, thinking hundreds of horrible things about yourself, Tommy and the rest of the world.

It had become dark outside when you heard a loud knocking sound coming from downstairs. You held your breath like you had done every time you had heard a sound in your apartment that you didn’t recognized. You wish for the sound to go away or just be your mind playing with you because you were alone again. The knocking sounded again and this time it was much louder and more aggressive. You instinct told you to stay put or hide but where would you hide? You stood up slowly and went to your dressing table to collect your handheld mirror. You sneaked over to the window that was turned against the street and looked out but the street looked empty. With a racing heart you unhatched the window and opened it slowly without making any noise. The loud knocking roared thought the building again and you stepped back from the window in shock. You had to collect yourself before you stepped forward and held the mirror out of the window and angled it to the front door of the building. It the dim light of the streetlamp you could see a very frustrated looking Tommy walk back and forward in front of the stairs to your front door before he stopped and jumped up the stair in two long stepped and hammered his fist on the door again.

Oh god. Was he angry with you that you walked out? Was it possible that he would leave if you didn’t open the door? You quickly came to the conclusion that you needed to open the door soon, or else he would be waking up the whole damn street and that was a kind of attention that you didn’t need. You quickly walked down the stairs in your bar feet and the dress that you had chosen could be used as a night gown for a while. You took in a deep breath when you unlocked the door and another before opening it. Outside stood Tommy with his back to you and his hand in his hair. It took a moment before he turned around. He looked nervous and maybe a little worried. Not the angry face that you were afraid you would be met with.

“You didn’t come tonight.” He started but you gave him nothing back. You were too hurt. He looked up into the dark night sky. The clouds were hanging dangerously low.

“It will start raining soon. Can I come in?” He asked. You really wanted to say no but there was this invisible robe pulling you towards this man at all times and even when he had hurt you and made you feel like crap, you couldn’t resist him when he stood on your door step, looking worried and smaller than he used to. You stepped aside and he didn’t waste any time stepping in and closing the door behind him. You stepped into your living room and turned on the lamp on the tea table next to the sofa and sat down. Tommy looked around in your living room like he hadn’t seen it before and could uncover any secrets from the very sparingly interiors. In the end he sighed and sat down next to you.

“I am not proud of what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to drag you into this sort of business and I tried to find the easiest way out for you. I do believe I hurt you in the attempt and it wasn’t my intention. I hope that you know that I don’t think any of those things about you?“ He was leaning his elbows on his knees, leaning so much forward that you couldn’t see his face from where you had curled up in the sofa.

“I talked to Ada and she told me that Rudge had seen you two together. He must have concluded that you were close to the whole family and I can’t say he is wrong. I don’t know if he believed what I said about you but I hope it doesn’t change anything between us. It works. We are good for each other.” He leaned back and turned to you. Your eyes found each other and he reached out to take your hand.

“It scares me a little to admit but I don’t want anything to happen to you. You have become a very important part of my routines and as much as I don’t like depending on someone, I do depend on you. That’s why I hope you will take this gift.” He reach into the pocket of his jacket that he had taken off when he entered your apartment. In his hand was a small and highly decorated gun. It was almost too small to his hands. You looked at him with a frown.

“It would make me calmer if you would take this and keep it close at all times. I hope you will never have to use it, but just in case.” He held it a little closer to you, signalling for you to take it. You took it hesitatingly.

“Do you know how to use it?” You nodded at him. It wasn’t the first time you had held a gun; since your dad had giving you a speech much alike Tommy’s and it made your heart ache. You held it with your finger on the trigger and it felt like a déjà vu. But before you could dig deeper into that thought, Tommy let his fingers run up and down your upper arm. Strangely enough it didn’t make you jump but gave you Goosebumps in a nice way.

“Thanks for letting me in. You know, I am exhausted after today. Can I stay the night or?” The question was hanging in the air. He gave you a choice to say no but this point he had again made you feel all fuzzy inside and you couldn’t think all the negative thought that you the moment before you had let him in. You didn’t know if that was a good thing. Looking up at the clock on the wall that told you there wasn’t many hours until morning you nodded at him. His confession was enough for you by then and you let him follow you up the stairs after you. When you reached the bedroom he didn’t waste any time stripping down to his boxer briefs. Your bed was very humble compared to his but he didn’t seem to mind as he dug under the covers and held out his arm for you to crawl into his embrace. As he had did before he tugged you into his and let you rest half on top of him with your hand flat on his chest right on top of his heart that that night was beating a little faster than usual.

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Taglist:

@im-the-colourless-sunshine @fearthequeer595 @sununicorn @i-love-you-green @imnotsomewhore @imnotuglyimjustpredebut @hi-there-x @namiknows @imnotsomewhore @captivatedbycillianmurphy @irishgirl1995 @stalker83005 @stressedandbandobessed7771 @tuliptx @stydia-4-ever @ladymelissastark @yoheyyosup @calciferthelivingfire @actorinfluence @theamuz @affection-rabbit @jenepleurepasbaby @mango978 @csigeoblue @independentgirl @sweatydragoncloudknight

Sorry but some of the tags doesn’t work!

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Just want to say thank you for all the love you are showing me and this story! It is the greatest motivation ever!

#TOMMY #Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby fan fic #tommy shelby imagines #tommy shelby fan fiction #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby fanfiction #thomas shelby x reader #Peaky Blinders #PEAKY FOOKIN BLINDERS #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders fan fiction #peaky blinder imagine #cillian murphy

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herradhighpriestess · 3 years ago

Text

Deliberate Exchange

Chapter Eleven: Forgotten History and Rotten Smiles

As Bane and Elka enjoyed the silence, hours away, Calvin clicked on the remote until he found the high-definition Faux & Pals News Hour.

He watched as his earlier interview was replayed, this one was his favorite and he leaned forward and lip-synced his own words. In this interview he had perfected his solemn expression and the calls to the emergency line was flooded with calls as people called in sighting tips on every tall, dark blonde they saw.

Calvin fell asleep after he consumed a third of a bottle of a barrel-aged whiskey. The news replayed itself, Breaking News, announcing itself every fifteen minutes as fresh and new with brighter and more colorful graphics.

As Calvin passed out on a numbing sea of grain alcohol, Esau and the other men were locked on the tracking signal from the phone Bane had attached to the big rig.

The signal beeped steadily, indicating it was heading southwest on a major highway. The dangerous men loaded weaponry and slipped into tactical gear and headed for the steady flashing red light.

Bane stretched his arms overhead and listened to his shoulders pop, “we should get going soon,” he whispered to the back of her head.

She mumbled an agreeable sound and rubbed her eyes. She sat up and pushed her hair back as Bane was already in the bathroom washing his face. “I have a different hat I would like you to wear,” he said walking out of the bathroom, drying his face and hands.

“Sure,” she said and pulled on her clothes and took the hat he handed her. She tucked her hair under the dark green hat that was decorated with a four-leaf clover.

Bane watched her with a small smile as she shoved her hair out of sight. He quickly frowned as she gingerly dabbed a damp cloth on her palm.

“How is that looking?”

Elka held out her palm towards him, he could see the skin swollen and pulled tight, filled with liquid from the sudden and searing burn.

He kneeled in front of her and helped her with her shoes. “Where are we headed today?” she asked as his hands lingered on her calves.

“I’d like to get a full ten or twelve hours on the road, if we both drive it would work.”

“That sounds fine,” she said letting him help her slip into a light zippered sweatshirt.

Bane slipped his fingers into his pants pocket and pulled the keyring out, his fingertips brushed against the priceless band of metal at the bottom of his pocket.

He squeezed the ring tight, feeling the diamonds and rubies press sharply into his palm, he remembered the first time he had held the ring up to the light.

Bane closed his eyes and watched her as he let his mind return him to where there was sand everywhere underfoot and in every molecule of air he breathed.

Bane had become separated from his team and ended up being cornered by two enemy mercenaries. The two rebels spoke rapidly to each other in a language that was vaguely familiar to him and he could pick out a few dangerous words in the two men’s excitable chatter. The two men had bet money to fight Bane first, the bigger man had won and snorted loudly and spit a green blob to the sand in front of him.

The tall man swung his arms towards him, clutching a serrated switchblade, Bane slipped sideways and kicked his leg out to catch the man squarely in the center of his knee. The man screamed curses at him as his knee bent backwards and he ended up face down in the sand. Bane seized the moment and yanked the blade from the squealing insurgent and cut his throat from ear to ear.

Bane was on his feet in the next instance as the shorter enemy advanced on him. On the rebel’s left hand’s pinky finger, he saw a brilliant ring of rubies and diamonds.

The enemy saw Bane’s eyes fall upon the weighted treasure on his finger and gave him a smile of yellowed, rotting teeth and yanked the ring off his finger. Bane watched as the man swallowed the ring and gave him an even wider rotten smile.

Bane dodged a punch and caught the man’s extended hand, he quickly chopped at the man’s elbow joint and heard the bones break loudly. The man screeched and then went silent within the space of a heartbeat. He never registered the curved knife slide under his chin and open up his throat. The steel blade traveled through the flesh easily and was stopped by the spinal column.

Bane let the enemy’s warm body flop to the sand and pushed him onto his back. He ripped at the rebel’s clothes, exposing the chest and plunged his knife into the freshly dead flesh. Bane dug through the flesh and carved through muscle and viscera until he could close his large hand around the swallowed priceless antiquity. He yanked the ring free from its corpse coffin and wiped it clean of viscera before holding it up and letting it be kissed by the rays of the hot sun.

Bane was shaken from his trip down memory lane by Elka’s voice, he realized she had been speaking to him. “Are you okay?” she repeated for the fourth time.

“Yes,” he said, feeling emotions fill his heart until his chest ached. “Just fine,” he reiterated with a small smile.

“Are you ready to go?” she asked as she zipped up her sweatshirt.

“Quite ready,” he said and followed her from the room.

They took the rear access stairs to the parking lot and were quickly on the road. “I’ll have to stop for gas,” he said looking at the gauge.

“That’s good, we can get some snacks while we’re there.”

When they parked under the canopy of gas pump number seven, Bane handed Elka a fifty-dollar bill for the gas and snacks. “Do I need to be concerned about you going in there alone?”

“No,” she said without a quaver in her voice. “I’ll be back as quick as I can, would you like anything in particular.”

“Yes,” he said and put the pump into the trunk until the fuel started flowing. “Nothing from in there, but I’ll tell you when we’re back on the road.”

“Well that’s mysterious,” she said and slammed the heavy passenger door. Bane watched her go and pulled the ring from his pocket and let it settle in his palm. He had had it professionally cleaned and appraised decades ago and the value was obscene then, he could only imagine how much money was sitting in the center of his palm now.

Elka returned promptly with a bag filled with soda and bottled water, she had grabbed a variety of shelf stable snacks and whatever fresh fruit she could find.

She put the receipt and change in the console and cracked open one of the sodas.

“Got everything you need?”

“I think so,” she said and fastened her seat belt as he pulled onto a side road that eventually merged onto the interstate.

Bane’s heart gave itself freely to her while Esau and his band of murderous thugs headed in the opposite direction, Bane couldn’t keep from staring at the smooth skin on the top of her unburned hand as she gripped the plastic bottle. He kept glancing over to catch a glimpse of the line of her neck, the curve of her earlobe and the small valley created in her collar bones.

“What’s up?” she asked as she caught him staring at her lips, his eyes memorizing the shape of mouth.

He cleared his throat, the barest of fluster at being caught staring. “I have something that I would like to give you.”

“What’s that?” she said intrigued at his tone and near nervousness. He remained silent until he could exit the fast-moving multi-lane roadway and pull off onto a shady side-road and put the truck in park.

Elka watched him shift on the seat and reach into his pants pocket, he paused before he spoke. “Don’t feel you have to say anything, we’ll be driving for a while, so you’ll have some time to think.”

Elka held her breath as he dug deeper in his pocket and dropped the ornate ring into her hand.

“I’ve been carrying this with me for more than two decades,” he said as her eyes widened at the heavy ring fashioned originally for the empress of a long-forgotten civilization.

Elka stared down in unashamed awe at the antique ring that gleamed dully even without bright light.

“This is quite a ring, it’s too much though,” she said entranced by the sharp lines of the brilliant diamonds and rubies nestled in its platinum bed.

“This ring used to belong to a powerful, beautiful ruler, it needs to be worn again by one of beauty and grace,” Bane whispered as he slipped the ring onto her left finger.

Elka swallowed hard as she stared down at her ring finger which had been naked for only a couple of days. It now wore a ring that belonged to a once powerful empress who had been cut down in war and nearly forgotten by history.

“It’s too much,” she repeatedly lamely and proceeded to tug it free from her finger. Bane dropped his hands over hers, stopping her movement. “Please don’t take it off, it’s finally found its home.”

Elka kept her eyes firmly focused on the hollow at the base of his throat. He placed the fingertips of one hand under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his.

“This ring has been with me all over the globe, from an island in the Indian Ocean to the top of Machu Pichu. But this is its true home,” he whispered as he grasped her left hand and lifted it towards his mouth. He took two large gulps of medicated air and pulled his mask free so he could place a soft kiss on the ring, his lips touching the soft warm skin around the ring.

“What happens now?” she whispered, the cool ring pressing against her heated skin.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he chuckled and gently kissed her forehead. Bane returned her serious, searching expression and revised his original answer. “I want you by my side willingly, return my affection, be at my side.”

Elka nodded, “can we talk more about what we both want and expect?”

“Yes, we can talk right now,” he said as he engaged the ignition a single click in order to run the engine and adjusted the vents. He pressed his face to his mask and inhaled deeply to hold off any encroaching discomfort as she spoke on a breathless rush. “I don’t want you to hurt me, put me through deprivation or degradation, forget that I’m a person.”

Before Bane could interject, Elka quickly added. “And I want toiletries and personal care products, be able to bathe daily.”

Bane smirked, “anything else?”

Elka felt her breathing increase under his direct stare. “I don’t want to end up broken and discarded in a ditch.”

Any sarcasm Bane thought immediately fell away as he closed the small distance between them on the bench seat and swept her up in his strong embrace.

“Don’t allow those kinds of thoughts to enter your beautiful brain, don’t allow yourself to think that my touch holds future pain,” he murmured and ran his fingertips through her tangled hair. “I want your heart, your love,” he whispered as he traced his fingertip along the shape of her lips.

“What else do you want?” she whispered as he lowered his lips to hover over hers. “I want you always by my side,” he muttered and brushed his lips quickly against hers. “I’ll do anything for you if you give me your heart, life and body,” he growled and aggressively pressed his lips to her, Elka moaned as he jabbed his tongue against hers before he groaned and slid back abruptly to behind the steering wheel.

“Are you okay?” she gasped and smoothed her clothing back into place.

Bane shook his head, almost embarrassed he muttered. “I really want to fuck you on that seat, but I’ll never be able to marry you legally or share a life with you as long as your husband is alive, or you’re married.”

“I’m not exactly sure what you’re saying,” she stammered and sat up straighter.

“Your marriage needs to end, you no longer can be listed as abducted, Calvin would need to agree to the divorce and calling off law enforcement or he will have to die, and you become a widow.”

Elka sniffed hard and blinked, she couldn’t move any further on the seat. “I assume you have an idea to share.”

Bane’s shoulders tension and rigidity eased out of his limbs, “you can call Calvin, say you’re fine, you want a divorce and fresh start, nothing more. He would also need to tell law enforcement that you’re fine, you escaped from your abductor and want to start your life over somewhere else.”

“So, I ran away from Calvin and right into you,” she stated.

Bane slid closer and recaptured her bejeweled left hand, “no,” he said shaking his head adding as he squeezed her hand urgently. “I saved you from the good justice.”

“You saved me,” Elka whispered as she brought her face close to meet his, the tips of their noses touched. “You swear to keep me safe?”

“Yes,” he growled into her mouth as their lips met.

“I’ll call Calvin when we get settled at our next stop.”

Bane nodded; he stifled a moan at the ache in his cock. Elka watched his obvious discomfort as he settled behind the wheel and adjusted his pants.

“We don’t have to leave this very minute, we still have ….time.”

Bane smiled at her, lust pushing to the surface of his emotions. “We should probably get going, then you can get to calling Calvin.”

Bane reached for the keys to turn over the engine and was surprised when Elka’s unbandaged hand grabbed the keyring and clutched it tightly in her palm. “’What are you…?” Bane started to say until Elka partially struggled out of her drawstring pants, lace panties and slid closer on the seat to him. “Help me unzip your pants,” she said in a raggedly demanding whisper as she crawled onto his lap and fumbled with the stainless-steel zipper pull of his slacks.

Bane nodded mutely and freed his aching cock and felt the smooth palm of her hand slide and close around his hard length. They both moaned as she raised up and settled her tight, wet femininity around his rigidity

“Please hold onto me,” she breathed as Bane lifted his hands to settle around the smooth skin of her waist and increased the pressure each time she thrust down on his enthusiastic stiffness.

Elka rocked her hips as he sheathed her wet intimacy and earned an involuntary gasp from him. “This might not last much longer,” he muttered with an embarrassed chuckle and squeezed the flesh of her hips and thighs as he yanked her body down roughly to meet him. The sexual wet sound of their bodies touching, and their increased breathing were the only sounds in the vehicle.

Bane felt his pleasure turn into a tight coil, “say you’re all mine,” he demanded as he crushed her body tight. “Tell you me you are only mine,” he groaned as he filled her as much as he could, he shuddered as he felt her internally tighten around his engorged his length.

“I’m all yours,” Elka moaned as her body stretched to accommodate the length of time he pushed himself into her.

“All mine,” he said on a strangled whisper and lost control over his body as he let his orgasm crash over him.

Elka nodded, “yes,” she whispered and felt the warmth spread deep inside her from where he spilled his seed. He stayed sheathed inside her until his cock had grown completely flaccid and slid from her.

“Thank you,” Bane said after she had climbed off his lap and he helped her slip back into her clothes.

Elka gave him a curious nod as he assisted her slide her feet back into her shoes. “’I was thanking you for the one-sided pleasure, I will repay you later,” he added with a wink.

Elka ducked her head initially and fought a blush, “you’re welcome and thank you in advance for your repayment.”

Bane chuckled and stared at the time on the radio face. “It’ll be getting dark if we leave now and drive straight, you up for a while in the truck?”

Elka nodded as he adjusted the mirrors, “let me know when you need a break,” he murmured as stopped at the four-way intersection at the bottom of the deserted road.

Bane handed her the burner phone, “call Calvin and tell him you’re fine, you want a divorce.”

The tension and rigidity eased out of his limbs as she immediately began tapping out Calvin’s number.

Elka’s hand shook as she cradled the phone in the crook of her arm and dialed with her good hand. Her thighs shook she felt lingering jolts of pleasure from her intimate center.

She blew out a sharp breath as the phone rang twice before it was answered.

Elka felt her breath catch at the sound of her husband’s voice. “Justice Green.”

“Hello Cal,” Elka said cautiously.

She only heard Calvin’s breathing for a few beats and just when she was going to say his name again, he spoke.

“Elka where are you? Are you okay? I thought you were fucking dead. What happened? Wh…?”

Elka cut off his litany of questions, “Cal I’m okay, I hitchhiked out of town for a while after those guys from the bank left me in a ditch. I discovered I need a break; I’m not holding on to things well right now and I’d rather get ahead of the storm. I’m sorry for the abruptness of everything and making people worry.”

“Elka are you on something? Are you intoxicated? Do you know how many people are looking for you?”

“No, Cal, I’m not on drugs. I just needed some time to think and realize that I want a divorce, we shouldn’t be together anymore.”

Calvin scoffed, “Elka please, tell me where you are, I’ll send a car and call Dr. Kirk, he’ll have something to help you relax.”

Elka interrupted him, “shut up Calvin, I don’t love you and you don’t love me. Give me access to my money, you can have everything else. Call the police and say you were just embarrassed about a divorce with your politics and campaign run.”

Calvin was seething and silent as Elka continued. “Write me a check Calvin and then you can fill the house with your courthouse whores.”

“Cal?”

“Fine Elka, whatever you want, I’ll get some money together for you and get a hold of the investigating detective, call me in a couple days.”

“Thank you, Cal,” Elka said and was ready to end the call when Cal started stammering.

“El, El wait, are you still there?”

“Yes Cal, I’m here.”

“You’re right El, we probably shouldn’t have been together, and I know you never loved me, but you’re a beautiful and lucky prize for whomever you share yourself with.”

Elka’s expression softened, “thanks Cal, I’ll call you in a few days,” she said and ended the call.

She spoke without looking over at him, “I think I’ll call my boss next.”

“Do you and your manager have a good rapport?”

Elka shrugged, “for the most part, I did get invited to her exclusive Christmas party,” she added with a giggle.

Bane open his mouth to speak and then stopped.

“What is it?”

He cleared his throat, “have you two ever discussed female problems, depression…”

Elka cut him off, “oh should I tell her I’m sad and have cramps?” she scoffed.

“No,” he said with measured patience. “I merely thought you could ask for some time off, a leave of absence. Assure her that you didn’t disclose any financial information, if she is speaking to you directly, she could calm down the potential investigation that you leaked secure information.”

Elka nodded, considering his words, she wasn’t sure if Trisha would buy a need for a leave of absence, especially the job abandonment. “I’ll try,” Elka said and stared at the keypad. “But I need some water or something first.”

Bane handed her his half- empty bottle of water and she quickly guzzled a quarter of it before she dialed the Reserve’s main number, it rang twice before she reached the call desk. “Trisha Stevenson please,” Elka said to the nasally voiced woman, a few clicks later, Trisha’s phone rang.

“Stevenson.”

“Hi, uh, Trish, it’s Elka, Elka Green.”

“Elka!?! Holy shit, where are you, are you okay?” Trisha shrilled loudly.

“Trish I’m okay really, I kind of lost my mind for a minute. I’m divorcing Calvin. I’m sorry for the abruptness of everything and making people worry, I was hoping I could apply for a leave of absence.”

“Elka I’m so sorry too, your disappearance made some people suspicious, and being no one has heard from you…we need to get the chaos cleaned up, he said you were…” Trisha trailed off.

“What? I’m what?” Elka asked in a high voice.

“I’m sorry Elka, you were fired on the spot. Your last check, unused sick and vacation pay has already been mailed to your house.”

“Oh well, then I guess that’s that.”

“I’m sorry Elka, I really am, I swear I will give you a recommendation letter or verbal referral.”

“Thanks Trisha, it was nice working with you.”

“It was truly my pleasure, good luck.”

The call ended, and Elka set the flimsy phone aside. “Well there’s no job, so nothing to worry about there.”

“Are you okay?” Bane asked in a gentle tone and rested his large hand on top of her thigh.

Elka shook her head and nodded. “I’m not sure yet,” she said honestly.

“That’s understandable,” he said and added. “Anyone you think you should call? Someone close?”

Elka thought about that, there were co-workers but no genuine friends. She shook her head and gave a sad laugh, “there’s no one I’m real close to. If I’ve been fired since the start and no one has heard from me, assumptions and rumors have already prevailed, and I’ll just muck it up and get upset with what I’ll probably hear.”

Bane watched her press the button to scan radio stations until a classic rock station filled the truck. “This is best, a clean break, no loose ends that I can think of. You’ll need to make some calls too,” she added.

Bane nodded and glanced at the dashboard clock, “I’ll call them in a few hours, the sun will up there then.”

“Do you have a lot of people to call?”

Bane regarded her for a moment, “just a few. I need to secure us new identifications, credit cards and other important individual documents. A different vehicle also.”

As Bane merged onto the fast-moving interstate, Elka adjusted volume of the ultimate classic rock song and settled back against the seat. He glanced over at her and smiled to see her lip-syncing the lyrics.

As they proceeded north in comfortable silence, hours in the wrong direction, Esau and four of the other mercenaries continued to track the phone Bane had tucked into the big rig. The dangerous men were fully armed and one of the Russian men pressed the accelerator to the floor and urged the vehicle to move faster. Esau kept his phone close; he had posted a reward for information on Bane and his monetary whore on the dark channels of the web. There were now a lot more eyes that could potentially spot Bane and Elka.

As the fearsome men continued in the wrong direction, at the penthouse, Justice Calvin Green stared at his phone. “Should I be worried or just call the detective and say all is well?” He was conflicted and found himself leaning to cutting Elka a check and going their own ways, it would be so easy to call the accountant and move funds around.

Calvin set down his phone and nearly filled a high-ball glass with an extra-dry martini, he was generous with his olives and settled back on the designer sofa.

As he tried to decide what to do next and steadily drained his glass, Bane turned the heater on the lowest setting and glanced over at her as she stared out the window.

“Do you need it warmer?” he asked as his fingertips hovered over the matte black plastic knob.

Elka turned towards him and gave him a gentle smile, “this is fine.”

“Feel free to nap, we’ll be on the road for a while.”

“I’m okay for now, where are we headed next?”

Elka opened a fresh bottle of water as Bane told her about the sleepy town that was their destination.

“There’s not much to do there but it’s quiet and isolated.”

As the miles passed under the heavy tires, Esau and his dangerous companions all gave guttural shouts of homicidal anticipation when the flashing beacon of Bane’s cell phone came to a standstill on the screen of the square tracker. Esau glanced at the odometer; they were less than one hundred miles from the now stationary red dot that was supposed to represent Bane and his financial whore.

#Batman #Bruce Wayne #Bane #Bane x OC #barsad #talia al ghul #Miranda Tate #grey consent #Selina Kyle #The Dark Knight Rises #violence #murder #assault #language #fanfiction

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winifredsandersonsbitch · 5 years ago

Text

“Working Girl”

Spike x Reader, BTVS

Warnings: spoilers, cursing, angst.

Set a few weeks after Joyce’s death. Reader has been picking up extra graveyard shifts and Spike catches them leaving the house at an ungodly hour.

You closed the door to the house quietly, work bag in hand, and locked up. You were certain that neither of your younger sisters had heard you leave, but you hovered on the porch for an extra minute just in case. Then you turned around and crashed straight into a certain vampire.

“Not as stealthy as you think, are you?” Spike asked, steadying you. “Where are you off to so late?”

You jerked backward, almost tripping over the step a second time. “Nowhere. What are you hiding?”

Spike tried to keep the flowers from your view, but you spotted the top of the bouquet peeking out from behind his back.

“Trying to win points with Buffy so she stops beating the shit out of you? Because if we’re being honest, I doubt she’ll let up. Having a walking, talking punching bag is too much fun.”

“I resent that.” Spike glowered at you and reached past you to place the flowers in front of the door. “Your mother was a nice lady. Not judgy like the rest of you. I’m paying my respects.”

“Pay your respects at the graveyard,” you said, pushing past him to your car. “You’re not welcome here.”

“Have none of you bloody noticed that I’ve been helping lately? You haven’t even had to pay me!”

“Excuse me while I nominate you for sainthood,” you snapped back. You unlocked your car door and turned to face him, gripping the handle so hard your knuckles turned white. “And get out of my driveway.”

“Look, I’m not trying to upset you, okay? I didn’t mean for anyone to see me come by.” He lowered his gaze, catching sight of your bag. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“None of your fucking business, that’s what.”

You slid into the driver’s seat, turned your key in the ignition, and rolled your windows down. Not because you had anything else to say to Spike, but because driving with the wind whipping through your hair was one of the only real pleasures you had these days, and you’d be damned if you let him take it from you.

“No need to get testy, pet. Just wondering if you want backup!” he called as you pulled out.

“You wouldn’t last two minutes where I’m going.”

“Try me.”

You ignored him, leaving him alone under the streetlights as you sped toward the diner. You were going to be late.

—

You changed into your uniform and entered through the employee door with seconds to spare, stopping to wash your hands before you greeted the cook and your fellow server. You didn’t mind the company, even if Don and Betty could be a little coarse. They kept you from totally losing it from sleep deprivation and the unruly customers.

Normally, the night shift would be slow, but Sunnydale had more than its fair share of teenagers and vampires, and both frequented The Homestead late at night. While you weren’t totally comfortable with either demographic, although you spent plenty of time with them both, they usually treated you well enough while you were on shift.

The only patrons you really minded were the truckers.

Now, you didn’t like to stereotype, so you tried your best to get along with anyone who had been sat in your section. Some of the men got a little handsy after a few drinks and normally you shrugged it off as long as you got tipped, but tonight it was hard to keep your smile from slipping. Especially when a certain someone showed up at one of your tables.

“Did you follow me here?” you hissed as you set down his water, mindful of the other customers.

“Maybe.” He gave you a self-satisfied smirk you knew all too well. “Fast, aren’t I?”

“Unless you’re going to order something—”

Spike slapped the menu down on the table and you winced. If you didn’t get him out soon, Don and Betty would notice the familiarity and pester you for the rest of the night about him, like they did every time you saw someone you knew. Bless them, they still thought you were too good for this place and felt more shame than you did when someone from outside life saw you here.

“Blueberry pancakes would be great, thanks, love.”

Suppressing a scowl, you rang in the order and cycled through your other tables while you waited for it. The whole time, you were uncomfortably aware of his eyes on your back, or, more accurately, your ass.

“Why are you here?” he asked loudly the next time you came close. Betty glanced over and then away just as quickly. Yep, you’d be hearing about this later.

“Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“Not to come off as a prat, but you look awful,” Spike continued, as if you hadn’t said anything. “You look like you haven’t slept in weeks. And I know your midterms are coming up and you have to watch Dawn when Buffy’s out. So why are you here?”

“Wow, stalk much?”

Spike bared his teeth in what might’ve been meant as a friendly grin and patted the seat next to him. “Come on, sweetheart. Pour your heart out.”

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m at work.” You looked over at the window to see your food cooling in plain view and your other customers trying to catch your eye. “I have to go.”

“If you stay, I’ll give you the biggest tip this place has ever seen,” Spike entreated. Your feet did still for a moment and you almost considered his offer, to your disgust.

Forcing yourself forward, you delivered all of the meals with an apology and a smile. When you got to Spike’s table, you dropped your eyes and only stilled long enough to ask if he needed anything else. Luckily, he had enough manners to let you off the hook. But when everyone else had cleared out and you were left to begin the cleaning for the next crew, he claimed a stool as you began wiping down the counter.

“I’m not trying to embarrass you, you know,” he said, leaning an elbow on the surface.

You knocked it off none-too-gently, scowling. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Don ceased his whistling in the back to listen in, and Spike eyed him warily, lowering his voice. “I just mean—don’t you have enough going on right now without this?”

“Enough? I have more than I could handle in a lifetime. But I don’t need you coming in here questioning me and my ability—”

“Love, calm down.” Spike reached out for your hand and then drew back, apparently thinking better of it. “I know you’re more than capable. I just don’t want to see you run yourself into the ground looking for a distraction.”

“A distraction?” Your laugh came out bitter and hurt and not your own. “I’m here because Mom’s dead and we have to pay the bills, not because I thought it would be fun to play the working woman. Buffy’s the Slayer and Dawn is... too little. So that leaves me. But don’t worry, Spike. I’ve had a job since I was fourteen. I know how to balance. You don’t have to worry about me ruining my fragile self esteem or my soft hands.”

At this, you took a long look at the hands in question, cracked from the heat of the grill and scrubbing at grime. You allowed yourself a moment of self indulgence, a mini daydream where you hit Spike square in the jaw and then walked out, but then you moved to clean the milkshake machine.

He was at a loss for words as he watched you scrub furiously at a chocolate syrup stain with tears pricking your eyes. He stayed quiet when you rotated to the tables and wrung out your towel, but then he rose. You were worried he was going to do something stupid like make some cutting remark you wouldn’t be able to hold yourself back or, worse, try to hug you, but he didn’t. He only grabbed a spare rag and joined you in silence.

You worked over the whole restaurant until the next shift arrived. Then you untied your apron and led Spike outside.

“Sun will be rising soon,” you said as he lit a cigarette and blew a thick cloud of smoke into the air.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to go?”

“Do you want me to?”

All night, you thought you had, but now you were grateful for the company. To not have your secret weigh so heavy on your heart.

“I’ll give you a ride back.”

He looked you over to see if you were joking and then clambered into your car before you could change your mind. You didn’t miss the quirk in his mouth when you rolled the windows all the way down or turned up the classic rock like you wanted to wake the neighbors. It felt good to be seen in these early hours, even though you were sure you smelled like fried food and you were aware that the bags under your eyes made you look a little ghoulish. Spike, you were positive, had seen worse.

He watched the change that came over you carefully as your drove off from work. Your shoulders squared themselves back, your chin lifted, and you breathed more easily. By the time you reached your street, you were even singing, although you made sure to dial it down before you reached the house.

It made him forget about the graveyard, even though he could see the first rays of sun begin to peek out from in between the trees.

“Uh, sweetheart,” he said finally, when you had turned the car off and unlocked his door. “Think you might’ve forgotten something.”

He raised his eyebrows pointedly, but you walked up the front steps anyway. When he didn’t follow, you sighed.

“Did you want to get burnt to a crisp today or what? Come on.”

When Spike’s forehead crinkled further, you grabbed his hand and pulled him along with you, making sure to formally invite him in.

“I figured you could benefit from sleeping in a real bed for once,” you said when you reached your bedroom, your cheeks beginning to redden for the first time. “It’s not like I’m using it. I have to leave for class in an hour.”

“Just like that?”

“It’s an early lab. I have time for a shower and breakfast, but yeah.” You drew the blinds for him and pointed to the bed. “Don’t do anything gross and don’t let Buffy or Dawn know you’re here.”

“When are you going to sleep?”

“When I get back.” You turned away to pick an outfit from your closet as Spike spread out on the bed. He picked at a thread in your pillow and then turned his attention to the piles of clothes you had yet to put away.

“Irregular sleep schedules aren’t good for humans, love,” Spike said, a little absentmindedly. His eyes were busy taking in everything about the space. He had never seen this much of it before. You had records packed into a crate under your bed, pictures strung up on the walls, paints and books and even a typewriter, none of which looked like they had been touched as of late.

“Neither is being homeless,” you quipped. “Which will definitely happen to us if no one’s making our payments on time.”

“You can’t keep this all going forever.”

His steady gaze made you squirm. You dropped your bra in your haste to get out of the room, and Spike took great pleasure in handing it to you just before you closed the bathroom door.

“It’s not forever,” you told him, resisting the urge to slam the door on his fingers. “I’m dropping next week.”

You shut the door gently before he could respond and turned on the shower. You stripped and left your clothes in a pile on the counter, ignoring Spike’s hammering on the wood. When you stepped in, you imagined the heat washing everything else away, but it was hard when he kept asking you questions through the door.

“You can’t drop out!” he was saying. “You’re the smart Summers.”

“I’m the booksmart Summers,” you corrected. You kept your voice low, not wanting to wake your sisters. “What good is that going to do me in a world of demons and bills? I need something that’s going to keep us fed now, not in four years.”

“Don’t you have a dad? Isn’t he sending you anything?”

You had to strain to hear Spike over the water and you only bothered because you were worried he might break down the door if you stopped responding.

“He’s still in Spain. And if we rely on his money, then we’re going to end up being disappointed sooner or later anyway. With his track record, I’m betting on sooner.”

Spike went quiet as you shampooed. You imagined him rifling through your underwear drawer or lifting up your mattress to try and find your diary, then shook the thoughts out. You conditioned, shaved your legs, and got dressed in the time it took him to get back his composure.

When you stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your dripping hair, he was waiting cross-legged in front of your bed, smoking furiously.

“Hey! You can’t do that in here, my sisters will know—”

“Why are you even finishing the week if you’re quitting anyway? At least stay and get some sleep. I’ll even tuck you in.”

He exhaled and smiled charmingly, the cat who got the canary, convinced he had you with his foolproof logic. You glared at him and stubbed his cig out, then tossed it in the trash.

“If all you’re going to do is challenge my life decisions, you can go back to your crypt. I don’t need any undead James Dean wannabe hanging around to criticize me.” You swiped your jacket off the chair beside him, kicking out when he tried to wrap a teasing hand around your ankle in an attempt to get you to lighten up. You caught a glimpse of him in your peripheral—hunched, guilty—and forced yourself to ease up.

“I like to learn,” you added quietly. “That’s the difference a week will make.”

Then you went downstairs to pour yourself some cereal.

—

When you came back from school, Spike was sitting up in your bed. He waited for you as you changed out of your jeans and then folded open the covers for you to slide in.

“I’ll take the floor if you want,” he said when you hesitated. “But you’re trembling, babe, you need to rest.”

He was right. You had almost fallen asleep in your last class three times, kept awake only by the snapping of the rubber band you kept on your wrist for those exact situations. You crawled in next to him.

Despite his decided coolness, it felt good to be close to someone. Especially someone who smelled so good. Almost like—

“Did you use my body wash?” you whispered, turning over to face him. If vampires could blush, Spike definitely did.

“Well, I... I wanted to be.... clean. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It suits you.”

Your laugh turned into a yawn and Spike wrapped an arm around you tentatively. You were so tired that you leaned into it without assessing any of the risks you were now used to calculating.

“Just sleep, love,” Spike whispered as your eyes closed. “Relax.”

You were pretty far gone when you felt his lips on your forehead and his breath against the shell of your ear. Almost too far to hear him making you a promise to get the money you needed.

If you had been more coherent and less exhausted, you might’ve warned him off it or told him it was your responsibility. As it was, you just tightened your hold on his t-shirt, as if to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere.

#fanfiction #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #spike x reader

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dopescotlandwarrior · 4 years ago

Text

Sinners & Saints-Chapter 9

A special thanks to @statell for all your help and wisdom

Previous chapters on AO3

Chapter Nine (NSFW)

Claire and Maia packed all the personal belongings until late into the night. Claire and Jamie would leave with the helicopter in the morning and Darius would take the boat to the island of Mykonos where it would be stored in dry dock, under cover.

“Thank you for helping me, Maia. I think we’re done and if we forgot something I’ll buy it new. Get some sleep dear one, tomorrow starts early.”

Claire pulled on a black silk suit with a short skirt, tailored jacket, and starched white shirt. Black heels and the blonde wig transformed her into the billionaire’s wife, and she walked with purpose onto the forward deck with the kitten tucked under her arm. The men swiveled their gaze, stuck on the long legs coming toward them.

“Good morning gentlemen, this my engineer…” Claire froze mid-sentence realizing they had not talked about Jamie’s name for introductions. Jamie smiled and extended his hand introducing himself as Gregory Patton.

“Ah, yes, Gregory.” They piled into the chopper and watched Darius wave from the deck before running to pull anchor and make way for Mykonos.

Jamie watched the pilot openly flirt with Claire and shoved his hands under his legs to keep from balling his fists. Thomas was giddy with the almost three-hundred thousand he made in two hours of work, so he was oblivious to everything. When the yacht came into view Jamie was enchanted. It was all white and huge compared to the other boat with three decks in the back, and two in the front. He forced himself to look out the window at the ocean to hide his wonder.

Claire and Jamie walked into the saloon as the chopper was already in the air. They were met by the owner’s wife who looked very distressed. Claire smiled and held her hand out asking if everything was alright.

“Yes, Misses Dunn but I’m afraid Adso is very unhappy today and unwell. He forgets so much these days and he doesn’t want to lose his beloved boat. It’s time for us to go ashore and be looked after by our children. Please understand if my husband is short with you.”

“I promise, and I understand. Who would want to part with this?”

They found the owner on the upper deck sitting in shade looking like he lost his family, his dog, and his best friend. Claire felt tears press against her eyeballs and took a deep breath. At that moment she shed her impersonation and became Claire, the compassionate, loving, woman Jamie fell in love with.

“Mister Rosen! How nice to see you again. This is Gregory, my engineer. I understand the money has been transferred and you have papers for me to sign.”

He didn’t look up at her or acknowledge Jamie. Claire sat down next to him as his wife explained she had purchased the boat and they would soon have to leave.

“Before you do, I was hoping you could give me the history of the boat and what it can do. Like, what are the upgrades and why did you choose them, what is the farthest you have taken it?”

When he didn’t respond she asked, “what did you love most about this boat?”

He seemed to grunt and liven up a bit, looking at her and the kitten.

“What’s that?”

“This is my kitten. It will live here on the boat with me.”

“What’s its name?”

“Adso.”

“Adso? That’s my name.”

“Well, that is fitting, isn’t it? Now then, what kind of adventures can I have on this magnificent boat?”

That seemed to break the older man out of his shell. He reached out to stroke the kitten and smiled as he launched into his stories of the exciting places they had been on the yacht. Claire’s probing questions kept him talking and Jamie watched him look younger with each sentence. Claire talked to him like they were old friends, took her jacket off and put her feet up. Jamie was ready to burst with pride in her and her compassion for the old man.

After two hours of laughing and storytelling, the wife told Adso it was time to go. The man looked at Claire with such excitement and said he was glad she would live here from now on.

“One more thing, sir. Whenever you want to spend a day exploring please do it with me.”

It was a great way to put closure on a difficult transition. He would always be welcome. Adso’s wife hugged Claire hard, knowing she just spent two hours out of the kindness of her heart and she loved her for it. She took her husband’s arm and walked across the saloon where their trusted captain waited to tender them ashore.

“You know, I think the engineer is sweet on our Mary, ha!”

Claire watched the tender pull away from the boat with a tear in her eye. Strong arms encircled her waist and Jamie’s silky voice spoke his pride, devotion, and love into her ear.

“Are you ready to see your new home handsome?”

“Lead on love.”

They started below deck in the engine room and laundry, came up one flight to the guest cabins and crew area with a separate kitchen and living area, up another flight to the main saloon and forward deck with a shaded area and table for dining and a sun area with lounge chairs, they went up a flight to a second saloon with full media support for movies and television with a second forward deck. Up another flight to the bridge with the captain’s quarters and the sun deck. Jaime was confused because they reached the top deck, but he hadn’t seen the master bedroom. Claire led him down to the main saloon showing the dining area, the galley, and straight ahead was the entrance to the master suite that blew Jamie’s mind. The level of luxury was astounding and beautiful. There was a separate deck for this bedroom that gave them privacy from the world. Large windows in the bedroom and bathroom, and a sixty-inch flat-screen that rolled out on command.

“Well, how do you like your new boat sweetheart.”

Jamie stood and caressed her cheek, holding her to him. “This is Mary Dunn’s boat and I will think of you every day for the rest of my life, on this amazing yacht. It’s my gift Claire, a trinket compared to how much I love you.”

Claire wiped her tears and gave a brave face, “I have something to celebrate our new home, I hope the Rosen’s left some glasses.”

The galley had a full service for eight; glasses, dishes, flat wear, stem wear and serving bowls. Claire pulled two glasses and opened the one bag she brought on the helicopter. She set the bottle of fine whisky and two glasses on a tray and went to Jamie on the forward deck. They toasted their new home and kissed, another glass and another kiss, the third glass made them lose themselves in a kiss that was life-sustaining for them both and they stopped thinking of life alone.

“Jamie, I remember you have a birthday this month, is that right? It was in the Louvre when we spent the afternoon talking and admiring the art. I believe the date is the twenty-first?”

“What a memory mo chridhe. The only thing I remember from that day is your skirt being pulled up by the wind, and how much I wanted to kiss you.”

She pulled his arms around her and looked at his half-smile. “Am I right?”

“Aye, you’re a clever lass.”

“I want to make your birthday memorable, what is your pleasure?”

“Marry me, Claire Beauchamp.”

She had not heard her real name in quite some time and to have it linked with a proposal made her eyes sting with tears. Jamie hugged her and asked if that was a yes and then chuckled at her tearful response that it was. He hugged her to him and felt humbled that she would pledge herself to him with such an unknown future.

“I’m not going back, Claire. I figured I couldn’t outrun them with face recognition in all the airports, banks, even department stores. Fingerprint evidence left behind everywhere I went, they would catch me eventually so I didn’t see any possibility of running. All that changed when you bought this boat, Sassenach. We just stay on the water and keep moving.” He touched her cheek, “it’s not perfect, but I will be so damn grateful for every day I have with you.”

Jamie kissed both of her wet cheeks and then a long kiss to her mouth, full of promises and love.

The sound of a boat horn pulled them apart and they looked for the boat that was pulling up to the aft deck to offload all their belongings. Darius boarded the yacht and worked the hydraulics for lowering the back platform where they all pulled bag after bag out of the arriving boat. Darius thanked the man who shuttled them back from Mykonos and Jamie handed the man a one hundred dollar bill which made him very happy.

The platform was raised back to its resting position and Claire looked at an exhausted captain and first mate. It was quite an undertaking to prepare a yacht for dry dock. A checklist that required several hours to complete and then pulling their belongings to the transport boat that would take them back.

“As the owner of this craft, I order you two to your quarters until dinner. Take whatever you need to get out of those uniforms and disappear.”

Darius looked at all the bags to be brought in and Claire exerted her position over the tired captain.

“That is an order captain, be gone with the both of you.” She smiled at Maia and felt bad she handled so much alone, the poor girl was about to collapse. “Wait! You are both required on the front deck for five minutes please.”

Claire poured four glasses of whisky, thanked them from the bottom of her heart, and they threw them back. “Now you can go.” She couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out when she was commanding but noticed the other couple did not argue. They were too tired.

The day was overwhelming for everyone. Claire had tempted Jamie’s sexual appetite too many times throughout the day, with marriage proposals, touring the boat, an intimate introduction to their bedroom. By dinner time he felt like a live wire and could not relax. Claire surprised everyone with a lovely chowder of leftover lobster, snapper, potatoes, cabbage, onions, and spices. She served the other three at the table and set warm rolls on the table as well as a large salad. It was delicious and she seemed so happy to do it, even Maia was happy to be served.

The frumpled couple retired to their rooms straight away and Claire cleared the table and started cleaning up. Jamie held her wrists to prevent her from grabbing another plate to rinse and turned her around kissing her soundly.

“Let me finish so you can get ready for bed. I want to sleep for twelve hours with you in my arms, but we have other business to attend to first.” He pulled her hand to his concrete erection and she gasped, smiling slyly.

Jamie made short work of the remaining dishes and slammed the dishwasher closed. His long arms reached every last crumb on the table and counters and leftovers were stowed in the vast refrigerator. He locked up, turned lights off, set the alarm, and grabbed the whisky and glasses on his way to the master cabin. When he stepped under the rainbird shower-head he decided it was the most exquisite shower he had ever felt. Entering the bedroom he noticed the covers turned down, but he was missing one fiancé. He looked beyond the huge sliding glass door and saw his love reclined on a double lounge. She was naked and he stepped into a beautiful night with his love ready to ease his pain.

“On your back, soldier.”

She stretched her long legs on either side of him and brought her warm mouth down on him tenderly, slowly, feeling him fill her to her throat. He moaned and gripped the lounge to keep his hands from forcing her down on him. Jamie’s head was spinning in her erotic ministrations and groaned when she straddled him, sliding her body down on him with a moan. He watched her in the moonlight, so beautiful, so lost in her arousal. He knew she had changed in the time they were together but had not the brain space to figure it out right then.

Claire was swept away with carnal love and she watched Jamie’s face feeling more and more out of control.

“Come for me lass,” was the last thing she heard before the winds of erotic release made her deaf and her body left the earth in the pulsing delight that rolled through her.

Jamie held himself back until he watched her face in orgasmic release and he groaned pulling her hips down on him until he was spent. He carried her to the enormous bed, laying her on soft cool sheets, a gift from the owner. When he turned off the lights, he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face, and it took a while to find his future wife. He held her close and thanked God for such a spectacular woman, come what may.

The tall man covered ground faster than the average human due to his extraordinary stride. Usually an advantage he appreciated unless he was on his way to a dreaded appointment, like today. The Senator’s secretary didn’t move fast enough for Hesser, so he strode into Frank’s office and told him to hang up the phone.

“Nice of you to barge in this morning. What do you want?”

Hesser almost felt sorry for the ignorant punk in front of him who could no more win the gubernatorial race than fly to the moon. He needed Hesser behind him and Doctor Beauchamp at his side if he had a chance in hell.

“We are running out of time to bring your bride back Randall, let’s take a look at some possibilities of where she might be. We know she was in Chicago, Paris, Italy, where else might she have friendlies that would give her shelter? What languages does she speak?”

When Frank didn’t jump to answer the question, Hesser stood up and grabbed his collar yanking him to his feet.

“You better take this seriously Randall, without her you lose and your career is over. You are here because we want you here, it’s not your merit or sparkling history in politics you sanctimonious idiot. Let’s add worthless to that list.”

Hesser was disgusted leaving Frank’s office and dialed his cell phone as he left.

“I need fifty more agents assigned to the Beauchamp case. I will send you their destinations in an hour. Make the travel arrangements and copy the dossier for each of them.” He clicked off his cell and tried to remember which of the Greek islands they visited on their honeymoon. He couldn’t remember a single one and barely remembered his ex-wife's face now.

The moment Claire’s eyes opened in the morning her heart rate bounced into the happy zone and everything she saw made her want to jump up and down. After a delightful shower, she pulled on a bikini followed by shorts and a loose top. Her shipmates were in the galley preparing breakfast, decidedly concerned over the lack of food.

“We have the same amount of food, it just looks sparse because the frig is bigger. Okay, okay, we will buy food today.” She laughed at the sad faces and left them to open the doors to the wonderful sea breeze.

Over breakfast Claire asked how long it was safe to sit on this anchor, “is it okay to just stay here for now?”

“No.” Darius finished his coffee and pulled Maia into his lap. “I need you to weigh in on this Maia so stay for a couple of minutes before you start cleaning up. I think it’s logical Hesser will search the Greek islands next because it makes the most sense, Italy to Greece. I say we move on to Croatia as soon as the supplies are restored. One more thing, you should go ashore as a blonde, just in case.”

“I agree Sassenach, or stay onboard and let the rest of us go ashore.”

“I need some things so I have to go, but I’ll wear the wig. Let’s split up, each with our own list, we won’t be as noticeable that way and only buy what you can carry to the beach.”

They went their separate ways and Jamie caught up with Darius on the bridge. He requested some time, so they sat in the captain's chairs and faced each other.

“You’re a captain of a ship Darius. Can you marry us?”

Darius looked long and hard at Jamie. “You’re both running for your lives and you want to get married?”

Jamie looked at his hands folded in his lap. “I suppose you feel there's a lifetime to do the important things, but I don’t feel that way. I asked her and she said yes, so we want to do this as soon as possible. We will say our vows in front of the Almighty and that’s enough for me.”

“Jamie, I can marry you in international water but I cannot file the marriage in Greece, or anywhere in the world, it will lead them to you.”

“It’s enough to know we did it and if something happens to us you can file the marriage certificate post humus.”

“Okay, that’s enough of that!” Darius got up shaking his head and turned to Jamie before he left the bridge, “I’ll marry you. We head 200 miles out for the ceremony and then set course for Croatia.”

Jamie felt tingling in his head and wanted to shout it out the window of the bridge. Several deep breaths and a smile that made his cheeks hurt were good enough. He joined the others for making lists to shop.

Claire ushered Maia into her room and led her out to the deck where they sat knee to knee.

“Jamie asked me to marry him.” She almost fell over when Maia launched herself at Claire in a happy hug. “I hope we can marry on the boat, but I want it to be special. I need a dress and some kind of decoration. Will you stay in town with me and help me?”

Maia’s eyes brightened and she stammered something about forgetting her whole list and sending the men back to the boat to unload.

“If we start early enough, we should have at least a couple of hours to shop.”

“Perfect! You are my best friend Maia.”

Little Maia blushed at that compliment because she had put Claire on a pedestal from the first day. She was deeply touched.

Jamie and Darius spent the afternoon spearfishing while Claire and Maia created lists for everyone, laid in the sun, and then gawked at the enormous lobster and grouper brought back by the men.

Jamie was fascinated by the hydraulics lifting the tender out of the water and seemed to never run out of questions when Darius was around. The next day he had the tender on the water, tied to the back of the yacht when Darius walked onto the aft deck.

“For a guy new to the water you learn fast. I appreciate the help and think it’s time you became a proper first mate if you want to.”

“Yes, I do want to but it will hurt Maia’s feelings.”

“That little beauty has very deep feelings but they’re limited to love, compassion, support, and stubbornness if that’s a feeling. You watch, she will start teaching you too and your head will spin from too much information.”

Jamie locked the boat alarm into his phone app and they piled into the tender to shop in Santorini. Between the four of them, Jamie carried the lion’s share of groceries back to the tender an hour later. Like on cue, Maia pulled a folded paper from her pocket and complained about forgetting most of the items on her list. Darius looked at all the frozen food and said he would be back to get them.

“So we meet here in four hours?”

“Four hours?”

Darius shook his head in agreement and the girls watched the tender speed away before they ran to a garment shop.

Claire was getting upset because she couldn’t find anything suitable. Maia looked around trying to help her friend and saw something perfect for the occasion. She brought it to Claire who looked it over with a critical eye.

“You will shine in this color Claire, the fabric is beautiful.”

Claire looked Maia up and down and strode across the dress shop to pick the same garment out for Maia who was thrilled with the gift. Claire would wrap herself in a soft sarong in deep blues and gold. Maia’s sarong was graduated pinks and dark green leaves sprinkled throughout. The garments felt luxurious and the women were happy. Claire inspected the men’s shirts and pulled a gorgeous white collarless linen shirt out for Jamie.

“Be a good girl and give this to Jamie tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, shit, there’s something else I need. Is there a place around here to get artist paint?”

“Yes, and I will get the decorations and champagne while you do that.”

Maia was gone in a puff before Claire could say a word. She found a nightgown that looked and felt much like the one she wore in Paris and then made her way to the craft store. Claire struggled with so many bags that were getting heavier by the minute. Maia swooped in on her and took half of them giving a puzzled look at the contents.

“It’s Jamie’s birthday tomorrow. I want to give him something from his past and hope he will try to paint again. I need to hide this stuff in a bedroom downstairs, can you help me?”

Maia looked at her like she was kidding and pointed to the tender as their feet sunk into beach sand. Fortunately, Darius came alone saying Jamie was preparing dinner and making quite a mess. Claire collapsed into her seat, exhausted from her shopping marathon. Once back at the yacht, Maia grabbed the bags with art supplies and pointed to others for Darius to bring. When Jamie came out he grabbed Claire for a long hug. He held her to him as he pulled the tender out of the water with the wench and stowed it safely in the boat garage, returning the back platform to its upright position.

“You're rather good with all these buttons handsome. It’s kinda hot.”

“That fits nicely into my plan Sassenach.”

“Which is?”

“Something to do with lobster, whisky, a slave to my pleasure and you … oh! Sorry love, I’m burning the rolls.”

Jamie ran into the boat heading for the galley and Claire shook her head and laughed.

Spirits were upbeat through dinner. They had food for several weeks, a plan to get to Croatia, and a wedding tomorrow. They were all very happy to embark on the next adventure. Maia cleaned up after dinner and Claire went up to the sundeck that had full-size mattresses across the deck that she could lay on. She smiled up at the stars and couldn’t wait to feel the wind in her hair when they were racing to Croatia.

“I’ve been looking high and low for you love. May I join you?”

“Actually, I think you will be very comfortable here Jamie. There are blankets under the bar if you get cold. I love you so much. See you tomorrow to take our vows.”

“But Sassenach, wait, what about a slave to my pleasure and ….”

“That I will surely be, tomorrow. It’s bad luck to be together before the ceremony sweetheart. I’ll miss you tonight.”

Jamie found himself alone on the upper deck, but the stars were brilliant diamonds sparkling in the black sky and he never tired of that grand view. He laid on his back and looked at them for exactly three and a half minutes then he fell asleep.

Claire arranged the canvases, paint, brushes, and other supplies in one of the bedrooms below deck. She prayed she was not overstepping but could not resist trying. He was a brilliant artist so how could he ignore such a big part of himself? She locked the door and went to her room. She was exhausted.

Darius went to sleep right after dinner. He would get up in a few hours and turn the boat toward the open ocean. It would take eight hours to reach international water and he hoped to be there before everyone woke up for the day.

Maia paced the lower saloon, checking her cell phone every other minute. She had slipped away from Claire when they were shopping to find the flower shop run by her brother’s best friend. He was happy to see her and helped her pick out three buckets of fresh flowers and garland. She gave him every penny she had, a gift to her friends. He was supposed to be here to drop them off and she started getting nervous. Another ten minutes and she got a text that he was at the aft deck. He kissed her cheek and waved, soon swallowed up by the black night. Maia stowed the flowers in the second refrigerator and sighed in relief before locking up and setting the alarm.

Jamie felt cool air on his face and opened his eyes. He could swear the boat was moving, and fast. It took a minute to remember why he was on the sundeck alone and by then he was sure they were moving. He walked downstairs to the bridge and almost scared the skin off of Darius.

“Jesus, Jamie, I didn’t expect anyone to be walking up on me. This baby is quiet, like a purring kitten. God, I love this boat!”

“Uh, where are we going?”

“You want to get married tomorrow, I mean later today, so we’re heading for international water, be there in four hours. I need something to munch on.”

Darius headed for the stairs to the galley and Jamie swiveled his head from the bridge to the retreating Darius.

“Don’t you need to drive the boat?”

Darius had a mouth full of food and shook his head trying to say autopilot. Jamie looked worried about going this fast with no one at the helm. Darius slapped him on the back, “if you’re not going back to sleep let me show you around the bridge. Why were you sleeping on the sundeck?”

“Claire says it’s bad luck to be together before the wedding.”

Darius laughed so hard he almost fell out of the captain's chair, “that’s rich, it’s what I love about women, they never make any sense when it comes to love.”

They could see the first rays of sunrise by six in the morning and it was the most beautiful sight Jamie had ever seen. He watched the colors change in the sky and on the water, purple, indigo, scarlet, orange, and a lite blue on the horizon. They were surrounded by water without a hint of anything else as far as the eye could see.

“Did you hear that?”

There was a crash below and both men stiffened and quietly crept down the stairs. Seeing a bucket of flowers come around the corner almost scared them half to death. Maia looked up at them on the stairs with a very strange expression and kept walking toward the forward deck. They got back to the bridge in time to answer the ringing phone.

"How long until we’re there?”

“Maybe an hour, why?”

“Drop it to five knots, the wind is blowing my flowers apart.”

Darius pulled the throttle back, “God she’s bossy sometimes.”

Claire stretched in her magnificent bed and smiled at the smell of bacon and sausage. When she realized this was the day she was getting married, she bolted upright in bed with a gasp. A minute later she was heading for the bathtub and panicked it was already nine o’clock in the morning. She opened the big glass door to the deck and looked around, she was pretty sure Santorini and all the moored boats were missing, in fact, she saw nothing but water on all sides and they were moving!

Maia brought a tray of food for her and explained that Darius left Santorini at one o’clock in the morning and they were now in international water.

“How does ten o’clock sound for your wedding?”

Claire swung her head from Maia to the bathtub to the sarong that hung on her closet door. Her face was pale and she nodded her head vigorously. Maia laughed and told her to relax and take her time.

Claire felt overwhelmed with bombarding emotions and wondered if Jamie was a basket-case too. He must be she decided. Meanwhile, Jamie and Darius crashed in the saloon watching a prerecorded game. Maia hung Jamie’s new shirt next to the couch he was sleeping on and decided to let them sleep for a while longer while she pressed Darius’s uniform.

At nine-fifty, Maia came down to the saloon with her new dress, makeup, and curly hair cascading down her back. He shook Jamie’s arm, and then Darius, and announced the wedding started in ten minutes. The two of them were blinking hard and shaking the sleep off as Maia handed Jamie the new shirt, clean jeans, and left giggling.

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp and James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser said the traditional vows on the main deck surrounded by their two close friends and sweet-smelling flowers. Neither had a certain future, both were being hunted, and they would never stop running, albeit in luxury. They seemed oblivious to their circumstances and kissed like they were all alone in the universe. Afterward, Maia brought out champagne and fluted glasses to toast the newlyweds.

At the same time, CIA agents were landing on every Greek island with an airport, while others flew into Athens and hired a boat to their assigned island. Five agents were pulled off Italy and sent to Greece for a total of fifty-five CIA agents looking for Claire and Jamie with eight by ten glossy photographs of face and body. They were told to follow and get their location but do not engage, that privilege was reserved for Hesser.

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themysteriousauthor18 · 4 years ago

Text

Me attempting to write BillDip for the first time.

Dipper stared down in disbelief at the being in front of him. It didn’t appear that way, no they just appeared like any other human being. But with the searing pain of his hand and the flash of blue prior to touching the statue that was no longer there, Dipper knew. He knew this wasn’t just another person.

What any other person would see is a young tanned man that looked to be in his early twenties sitting on the forest floor in front of him. His apparent however was a little off. For starters, his hair appeared to be black aside from his bangs parted to the right of his face that was a bright blonde. A nice contrast to the rest of his hair. But considering dyed hair was now a thing it could have been plaid off as such.

The odd hairstyle was the least of the weirdness that stood out. No in fact the weirdest thing about the man was the black triangle eye patch the seemed to stick to his left eye without any visible strap. As if that were his eye or apart of it.

Well, there was one more thing, the oddities of all.

He was naked.

Dipper, his mind finally clicking back to reality was quick to avert his gaze from the man who sat as if he were star gazing despite it being the middle of the day. With the 20 year olds pale face substituted with a dark crimson now he managed to utter what his mind was barely processing. “B-bill..?” His voice came out more scared than he would have liked. If Bill was truly back why did he appear like this? Appear human..and a better question, why the fuck was he naked?

Hearing a ‘hm’ in response was weird enough. One for the fact that he wasn’t immediately destroyed just for uttering the name. And second, he did indeed sound like Bill, but the strange echo his voice always seemed to come with wasn’t there. So his voice just naturally sounded higher.

Keeping his eyes off the dream demon was a bad idea but he couldn’t force himself to look at him especially with human...male parts.

“What’s this? Thought you flesh sacks wouldn’t be around. I guess the sun hasn’t burned out yet..I don’t see any flying cars either so I guess I’m not that far into time.” Dipper listened closing to the sound of the rustling suggesting the other male was standing up. He chanced a look with the blondes back turned to him.

Is he really human, or this an illusion..does he have a tail maybeee--Nope keep your eyes up.

Visibly holding a hand out to block the lower half Dipper continued, ignoring the red on his cheeks. Now he was reminded why he always stalled in the boys locker rooms until all the other men left to get changed.

But as Dipper struggled to form a sentence the blonde looked over his shoulder. Eyes widening as the dots connected. “Wait a minute! Wow! Is that my old flesh sack! Pinetree. Wow you humans really do grow.” Dippers jaw unhinged, weather it was in fear or just plain shock was unknown.

When the dream demon turned and progressed forward the brunette backed away by extension. “S-stay back!” Bill laughed, amused.

“Or what?” He pressed, taking another step forward and Dipper a step back.

“I-I’ll punch you!” Idiot. He’s a dream demon, what is punching him gonna do?

His threat did anything but intimidate Bill. It only earned another laugh from him, this time one enough to get the newd blonde to shed a tear with how had he laughed.

“You may not be a squeaky kid anymore, but you still got your childhood humor haha!” Dipper, now up against a tree paled as Bill sighed as his laughed subsided. He grinned menacingly.

“Listen kid,” he raised a hand. “Its been fun but I’ve got a pathetic world to concour.” He spared a glance down at himself shaking his head in disapproval. “Hm. Can’t do it naked!” He clapped his hands to summon some clothes.

...But nothing happened.

For the first time both men shared the same reaction.

Confusion.

Bill clapped his hands again, when that didn’t work he tried snapping his fingers and when that didn’t work he had even tried saying ‘hocuspocus.’ Nothing worked.

Powerless, he was powerless.

Dipper couldn’t believe his eyes, this was to good to be true. Sure Bill could probably still stab him, but as far as having his magic? It wasn’t there.

He sighed in relief but that breif moment didn’t last long. Bill had the front of his hoodie within seconds and even without the red of his eyes there was still a slight bit of it on his ears and cheeks. “What did you do pinetree!” Even without the filter on his voice he still managed to intimidate Dipper if just in the slightest.

“I didn’t do anything. All I did was touch your statue.” Bills one eye seemed to be enough to pour into the wide brunette’s eyes. After a second he moved away crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“Well drat. Looks like that pesky salamander really did strip me of my powers.”

And your clothes. Dipper mentally added. He watched the taller male shrug turning back around.

“Oh well, I’ll just have to get them back..somehow. But for now I can’t exactly live out here. If he wants me to life among you mouth breathers then if thats what it takes to get my magic back, guess I don’t have a choice.” His tone carried a thick layer of passive aggressiveness. Clearly he wasn’t as happy or calm about it as he made himself out to be.

“Now, all I need is a place to crash.” He tapped his chin, eyes slowly trailing over to the scared brunette.

“Oh no-hell no!”

“Didn’t think you’ve ever curse. Guess ya grew a pair kid.”

“There is no way I’m letting you stay at the shack!” Dipper said, coming off the tree now and glaring at Bill. The blonde grinned, strolling up to the brunette, shoving a finger against his chest. His face uncomfortably close.

“Oh yes you are. Otherwise you want me to tell your precious little family about how you’ve kept my statue a secret for,” he paused counting his fingers. “Hm lets see, seven whole years? Wow! I feel special.” Dipper growled, bearing his teeth as he clutched his fists at his side. Bill only grinned wider, pressing more onto that nerve. “And let’s not forget all those dirty little secrets you told me.” Bill paused, using his free hand to mimic a mouth. “ ‘Is it weird that I kind of miss the weirdness. Does that mean I miss you?’” Bill mimicked the poor attempt at Dippers teen voice.

“Seriously pinetree if I didn’t know any better I’d say you have a thing for me. Wow your weirder than I thought.”

Said brunette was a dark shade of red from the anger building up. “They’d never believe you.” Inching a little closer Bill continued to grin.

“Do you really wanna chance that? Besides, what will old foredsy say when he sees me around? If I choose to reveal myself that is.” Dipper stared him down.

“If you hurt them-” Bill gave a harsh pat to the top of Dippers head.

“Relax kid! Live a little, who knows when your pathetic life will end.” Dipper kept his eyes on the dream demon in the human body. “Now give me your hoodie or something, walking around naked ain’t exactly my style. But I’m sure your enjoying the view.” Dipper growled once more, averting his eyes when Bill swayed his hips.

“I hate you.”

“Why thank you!”

#dipper #billciper #billdip #oneshots #fanfiction

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meghanpage · 3 years ago

Text

To the Stars Ch. 7 - For Those in Peril on the Sea

Words: 2784

Also on AO3

---

After she had taken Valentina back to her rooms the night before, Juliana had returned the beautiful black dress to Lucía. She had missed the silky feeling of the gown as soon as she had changed back into her old clothes. She carefully draped it over her arm, running her fingers over the fabric, before returning to the sitting room where Lucía was waiting.

“So, did you enjoy your night?” Lucía asked as she took the garment back, winking at Juliana with a grin. It had been Lucía who had given Juliana the pencil and paper to write her note to Valentina, so she of course knew the two hadn’t really left separately.

Juliana flushed, but returned her smile. “I did. It was… it was really nice. I can’t thank you enough.”

“Not at all!” Lucía laughed, taking a few steps away to drape the dress over the back of a couch. “It’s me who should be thanking you. I have no doubt that without you there to lighten up the atmosphere, dinner would have been a terrible bore.”

Her compliments made Juliana blush even further. As she put down the dress, she picked up another garment from the couch and carried it back over to Juliana, holding it out to her.

“This is for you.”

“What?” Juliana questioned, automatically taking the garment. It was a double-breasted overcoat, made out of thick, black wool. As she looked closer, she could make out a subtle gray-and-black houndstooth pattern on the wide lapel.

“This is gorgeous,” she whispered, running her fingers over the soft wool. “This can’t be for me.”

With a soft smile, Lucía gently placed a hand over one of Juliana’s, pushing it and the coat closer to her chest. “I assure you, it is.” When Juliana only looked at her with wide, disbelieving eyes, she gave her hand a firm squeeze. “Miss Valdés, I think you’re a wonderful young woman. You have so much promise to you. Think of this as a way to make sure you remember me when you make it big someday.”

She pointed to the inside of the collar, where a small fabric tag was sewn in place, stitched with the name “Borges.”

Juliana laughed briefly, looking back up to Lucía with shiny eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“All you have to say is ‘thank you,’” she teased.

With another laugh, Juliana did just that. She accepted the hug Lucía offered, as well as her help shrugging into the overcoat. As she was ushered out the door, Juliana knew she wouldn’t be forgetting the other woman anytime soon.

Back in her bunk, Juliana couldn’t get Valentina out of her head. Her mind kept replaying the events of the night, filling her chest with a fluttering warmth. It had been like a dream, spinning across the dance floor with Valentina so close in her arms. And while they were playing Valentina’s game, she could have sworn she felt Valentina lean in towards her. Of course with her eyes closed, she couldn’t be entirely certain, but she had felt something - maybe Valentina’s energy? Or she might have just felt her warm breath on her mouth.

Her stomach swooped, and she rolled over sharply, punching her limp pillow into shape. She could hear a rat in the wall near her head, it’s little claws scrabbling behind the boards.

Valentina was a high class woman. And Juliana was most certainly not. Even if their stations were equal, should she even be having these kinds of… thoughts about another woman?

Juliana had never been kissed, never been in any kind of relationship. She had never given it any thought. In the rare moments she had given the concept any reflection, she had always imagined herself with a man. Wasn’t that the way it was meant to be?

But spending time with Valentina brought her so much happiness and warmth, she couldn’t find it in her to think their closeness was wrong.

Pulling the thin blankets over her head, Juliana resolved to just go to sleep. When she went to see Valentina in the morning, she could try to examine her feelings more.

---

Juliana retraced her steps to the first-class area, trying to think where Valentina might be. She was pretty sure there was a private church service being held for first-class passengers, as it was a Sunday, so she would start there.

She bounded down the stairs towards the saloon, eager to see Valentina once more. Following the sound of singing, she found where the first-class passengers were gathered - double doors blocked the walkway, but the partition wall was free of glass between its white arches. Two attendants flanked the door, and one stepped forward as she approached, holding a hand out towards her. “Miss -”

“I just need to talk to somebody for a second,” she said, trying to sidestep him and peer through the partition wall, searching for a glimpse of Valentina.

The attendant ignored her, putting himself between her and the service. “Miss, you’re not supposed to be in here.”

It chaffed a bit that, even with the very nice overcoat Lucía had given her, they could spot her as third-class from a mile away. “I was just here the other night. You don’t remember me?”

Putting his arm out, the attendant tried to guide her back towards the stairs. “No, I’m afraid I don’t. Now, you’re going to have to turn around.”

Just then, Lucho’s manservant Montilla stepped through the doors - the slight commotion must have caught his attention. Sure that at least he would recognize her, Juliana gestured to him. “I was here, he’ll tell you.”

The attendant stepped aside as Montilla approached to speak to her directly.

“I just need to -”

Ignoring Juilana’s attempt to explain herself, Montilla spoke over her in a flat tone. “Mr. Luciano and Ms. Carvajal continue to be appreciative of your assistance. They asked me to give you this in gratitude.”

Reaching into his vest pocket, he pulled out a couple folded bills and held it out to her.

“I don’t want your money,” she said, gesturing towards the church service in frustration. “Please, I just want -”

“And to remind you,” Montilla interrupted once more, “that you hold a third-class ticket, and that your presence here is no longer appropriate.”

His words stung, but Juliana clenched her jaw, trying not to let it show. “Please, I just want to talk to Val for one second.”

“Gentlemen,” Montilla addressed the attendants, but didn’t take his eyes off of her. “Will you please see that Miss Valdés gets back to where she belongs, and that she stays there?”

He held one bill out to each of them, and they eagerly took them before stepping forward to roughly turn Juliana around. “Yes, sir. Come along, you.”

Juliana glared at Montilla as she was marched away, who simply watched her go with a barely-suppressed smirk.

There has to be another way to talk to her, Juliana thought as the men deposited her back on the third-class deck. She was certain that Valentina wouldn’t have refused to see her - her sister and fiancé must have been blocking her. They may have thought she could be bought off with a couple bucks, but they had the entirely wrong idea about her. She wasn’t giving up that easily.

Glancing around at the deck around her, she spotted some equipment near the railings that looked suspiciously climbable.

---

After their church service, Camilo invited Valentina, Eva, and Lucho on a private tour of the ship. As he explained the inner workings of the ship, Valentina did her best to pay attention, pushing aside the thoughts of Juliana that kept creeping in.

Camilo brought them to the bridge, introducing them to the captain. He had white hair and a trimmed white beard, looking a bit like a stern Santa Claus under his sharp captain’s hat. The two men showed them the various instruments in the room, describing how they allowed communication between the bridge and engine rooms.

“Why do you have two steering wheels?” Eva asked. There was one wheel in the middle of the wide room they were in, and another in a smaller room directly behind the first wheel.

“We really only use this wheel near shore,” Camilo explained. “The one in the wheelhouse is for navigating while at sea.”

A messenger approached the captain, handing him a slip of paper. “Excuse me, sir. Another ice warning. This one’s from the Noordam.”

The captain thanked him, and the messenger gave him a sharp nod before walking away. He tucked the paper in his pocket, then caught the look of apprehension on Eva and Valentina’s faces.

“Oh, not to worry,” he said, smiling at them. “Quite normal for this time of year. In fact, we’re speeding up. Mr. Corona thinks we can make it to New York in record time. I’ve just ordered the last boilers lit.”

The captain returned to his post, and the tour continued from there, Camilo leading them to walk along the topmost deck. They made their way along a line of lifeboats positioned at the outer edge.

“These are our lifeboats,” Camilo said. “There are sixteen in total, positioned here on the top deck, with a capacity of sixty-five each.”

As they continued to walk, Valentina ran over the numbers. With that capacity, the lifeboats would be able to carry about a thousand people. But she knew from newspaper articles that the ship could carry more than two thousand passengers…

“Mr. Guerra, forgive me…” she said as she caught up to walk beside him. “I did the sum in my head, and with the number of lifeboats times the capacity you said…” She paused, almost unwilling to speak her concern out loud. “Forgive me, but it seems that there aren’t enough for everyone on board.”

Camilo came to a stop, looking at her an approving look in his sharp eyes. “About half, actually. You miss nothing, do you, Valentina?”

Valentina smiled briefly at the praise, her heart aching for how much he reminded her of her father.

“In fact, I put in these new-type davits,” Camilo said, “which can take an extra row of boats inside this one.” He gave her a wry smile. “But it was thought, by some, that the deck would look too cluttered. So, I was overruled.”

Lucho sidestepped around them, knocking the belly of one of the lifeboats with his cane. “Waste of deck space as it is on an unsinkable ship,” he growsed.

As he and Eva continued down the deck, Camilo gave Valentina a smile. “Sleep soundly, young Valentina,” he reassured her as they followed the other two. “I’ve built you a strong ship, sound and true. She’s all the lifeboat you’ll need.”

He stepped ahead, attempting to catch up with Lucho and Eva to direct them to the next stop on their tour, when Valentina felt a hand on her arm. She whipped around, only to find Juliana with a finger to her lips.

She let her pull them through a nearby door into a small gymnasium, her heart in her throat. What was Juilana doing there? Why had she found her then, of all times, when she still hadn’t been able to sort out what she should do about this whole thing?

She stepped away from Juliana as she closed the doors behind them, wringing her hands together. “Juls…”

God, what could she say? Her heart was split in two. One half told her to throw herself in Juliana’s arms, to feel her warmth and look into her beautiful dark eyes. But the other half pulled her back towards her family, reminded her of her duty to them. She loved her family deeply; even though Eva could be a pain and Guille was far away from them, they were both incredibly important to her. She couldn’t just abandon her sister when she needed her.

“Juls,” Valentina said again, unable to look Juliana in the eyes. “This is impossible. I can’t see you.”

She spun back towards the door, just wanting to escape, but Juliana caught her arm once more.

“Please, Val,” Juliana said, her voice plaintive. “I need to talk to you.”

“No, Juls.” Valentina swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I’m marrying Lucho. I love Lucho.”

Nevermind that her words were lies, leaving an acrid taste in her mouth. What she was starting to feel for Juliana, she had never felt for anyone before. Certainly not Lucho. But admitting that, even to herself, was dangerous. She had to do this for her family.

“Val, please.” Juliana looked at her with shining eyes. “I - you’re amazing. You’re the most wonderful girl I’ve ever known, and…”

Valentina turned away, her heart shattering in her chest. “Juls, I -”

“Wait, please, let me try to get this out,” Juliana pleaded, moving with her.

Forcing herself to stop, she put her back against the wall. As she looked up to meet Juliana’s eyes, she took in the depth of desperation and hopefulness mixed there.

Taking a deep breath, Juliana continued, “You’re - I’m not an idiot. I know how the world works. I’ve got ten bucks in my pocket. I have nothing to offer you and I know that.” Her eyes flicked rapidly between Valentina’s, her gaze searching. “But I’m too involved now. If you jump, I jump, remember? I can’t turn away without knowing you’ll be all right.”

“Well, I’m fine,” Valentina replied, fighting to keep the tremble from her voice. “I’ll be fine. Really.”

“Really?” Juliana asked softly.

Valentina couldn’t make herself nod.

Juliana went on, “I think they’ve got you trapped, Val, and you’re going to die if you don’t break free. Maybe not right away, because you’re strong, but sooner or later that fire that - that I love about you, it’s going to burn out.”

Valentina’s breath caught in her throat at Juliana’s choice of words. Tears stung the corners of her eyes, but still she made herself say, “It’s not up to you to save me, Juls.”

With a shake of her head, Juliana stepped back, blinking against the shine in her own eyes. “You’re right. Only you can do that.”

For a moment, something inside Valentina screamed at her to throw herself into Juliana’s arms, to hide herself in Juliana’s neck and never come out. Instead, she wrenches herself away from the wall, turning back towards the door.

“I’m going back,” she said, knowing her voice was choked but unable to do anything about it. “Leave me alone.”

---

Valentina had left.

Juliana touched the textured glass of the window, where she had seen Valentina’s form pass by just a moment ago. She felt bruised, like someone had kicked her hard in the ribcage.

As she left the gymnasium, she pulled her overcoat tight around her, the April air chilling her more than it had a moment ago. She hurried to the stairs leading down to the lower decks - she was sure that if anyone tried to tell her she was where she didn’t belong right now, it would come to blows.

Valentina had left. She twisted her lips to the side, blinking back the burning in her eyes. How had it all gone so wrong? She knew there was something special between them. Even if she didn’t feel ready to examine exactly what it was, she knew it was there.

Hadn’t Valentina felt it too? She must have - wasn’t it Valentina who had drawn them close together last night, her lips only inches from Juliana’s own?

Juliana wasn’t good at expressing her feelings. As she had climbed to the top deck and hidden herself between two lifeboats, waiting for her chance to snag Valentina, she had done her best to figure out what on earth she was meant to say to the other woman.

But Valentina had still walked away.

And yet… There had been tears in Valentina’s eyes, and a tremble in her voice. Was it possible that she was doubting her own words, even as she said them? Juliana thought about that rude manservant, Montilla, telling her to get lost on behalf of Mr. Luciano and Ms. Carvajal - Lucho and Eva. Could they have been talking in Valentina’s ear, telling her to stay away?

Juliana didn’t want to get her hopes up. She needed to think.

Returning to her bunk briefly to grab her sketchpad, she wandered up to the fore of the ship. Settling herself on the massive anchor right at the tip of the bow, she opened her pad to a fresh sheet of paper. Then she simply looked out into the distance, tracing the breaking waves to the line of the horizon.

#amar a muerte #juliantina #juliana valdes #valentina carvajal #fanfiction #my work #titanic au

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noonachronicles · 5 years ago

Text

Forget Me Not

Lee Hoseok/Wonho X Reader

Word Count: 22k

Warnings: Tamed usage of curse words. Smut, but cheesy, bad smut . It’s almost like I wrote it bad intentionally? (don’t even read it tbh). Also some of this was written during a cold medicine haze. So any part you don’t like was written while I was on cold meds and/or written at three in the morning and you can’t blame me. Everything you enjoy I was fully conscious for. Also I didn’t proofread this. I tried, but I’m so tired.

Genre: Mostly fluff, some smut, angst? FWB to True Love lololol.

A/N: Happy (belated) Birthday to my beautiful angel baby, Sara (@memoiresofaneternaldreamer ). I’m unexplainably sorry that this took me so long to get to you and I’m grateful for your endless patience with my shit. 🤣 Why you tolerate me I’ll never understand but it means everything to me to know that no matter what’s going on, I can always count on you to be there. For sticking with me through my worst, I wanted to give you some of my best.

Did I also use your birthday as an excuse to write out what is essentially 20k words worth of praise for Wonho based off of the disgusting amount of deeply internalized love I apparently have hidden away for him? Yes. Please don’t tell Changkyun. Now, let’s get to it.

Saturday

Hoseok 8:40PM: Right. Fucking. Now.

You 8:45PM: k

Monday

You 9:38PM: Busy?

Hoseok 9:40PM: On my way ;)

Thursday

You 8:54PM: Now.

You 8:58PM: Please. :)

Today

Hoseok 9:03PM: Need you.

Hoseok looked down at his watch as he was stopped at the red light. He'd already sent the message to let you know he was on his way over which gave him about 15 minutes to get to your place before you got too impatient. He had two choices. He could drive straight and make it to your place a little ahead of time. Or, he could turn right and stop at the store to get a bottle of that wine he knew you loved.

When the light turned green he made a split decision and went right. He might be a little late but your irritation with his tardiness would disappear at the sight of the wine.

In the parking lot of the store there was a homeless man begging for change. Hoseok would have to choose between walking passed the old man or stopping to pull out his wallet. As he always did, he stopped. He grabbed a few bills from his wallet to give to the man and talked to him for a while to see if he needed anything from inside before actually going in. He found the wine quickly but then he chose to get something to go with it. He eyed the fresh flowers and picked out a bright mix of spring colors, he knew you’d like those better than something more romantic like roses.

He could hear your complaining already, “You're not my boyfriend. Stop doing boyfriend things. I'll get the wrong idea.”

He could also already see the bright blush on your cheeks as you sniffed the petals and placed the flowers in a vase while he opened the wine. He smiled at the thought of it and made his way to checkout. There he had chosen to stand behind a woman that looked like she was nearly ready to go crazy. Two crying toddlers stomping around in the shopping cart and screaming at the top of their lungs.

Looking at his phone he thought about sending you a message that kids were the worst, but he didn't want you to know he'd stopped. The gifts were meant to be a surprise after all. He couldn't help but listen to the conversation happening before him as time ticked by.

“I'm sorry ma’am, that's still not enough.” the cashier frowned as the mother dug inside her purse for change.

“What if we remove the chicken? So it would just been the rice and vegatables.”

“I can pay for her order. All of it.” Hoseok stepped forward placing his things on the conveyor. “Just add my two items to her order and I can pay for it.”

“Oh, please sir…”

“It's not a handout, there's no need to look so ashamed. It's a gift between friends. Feed your boys well tonight. They're growing after all.” He smiled as tears built in the woman's eyes.

“Thank you.” She whispered, trying not to breakdown in front of her kids. He handed the change from the cashier to the woman who tried and failed to deny it from the persistent Hoseok.

Feeling good, better than good, he made his way back to his sleek, silver, sports car. As he made his way to you he thought about all the choices he'd made that had brought him here and how happy he was with his decisions. Maybe he was running late and going down the road with more potholes than the other but it was worth it. You were worth it to him.

He was nearly to your place when someone else's choices that day changed everything. A delivery driver that had chosen to have an extra drink with dinner. Who chose to take off down the road instead of sleeping it off in the cab of his truck. Who chose to flip through the stations on his radio rather than look up to see the red light. Whose choices brought him crashing into the silver sports car that was on its way to you.

~~~

Downtown always seemed so busy, so alive, especially on a friday night. People out celebrating having survived the work week, couples on dates, college kids looking for a party so they could avoid any weekend assignments until Sunday. The people were often rowdy and loud, the traffic most times louder. Movie theaters were packed and lines at all the best restaurants took longer than the movies lasted. Despite all of that, it had been a really wonderful second date so far. At least that’s what you’d been thinking about as Loey walked you down the sidewalk with his magnificently long arm over your shoulder, talking enthusiastically about the movie you’d just seen together.

“...but, anyway, that’s why I had really wanted to see that one. And I know it wasn’t really your thing, so I appreciate you going with me.” he was saying as you brought yourself back to the conversation. “Did you at least like it though?”

“Umm,” you released a heavy puff of air, “I mean, it was...nice. I liked most of it. There were a lot of, um…”

“Boobs.” he said with a nod, “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I swear I didn’t know. I wasn’t trying to like… set any moods.”

You laughed at his genuine nervousness, “It’s okay, I’m not upset. It was just an observation.”

“Well if you were upset and you’re just being sweet about it now, dinner will more than make up for it.” he beamed, “I got us a reservation at the best restaurant. It’s so popular right now, I’m amazed I got us in.”

Your blood prickled in your veins just slightly and you looked at your surroundings. You’d gotten so lost in your thoughts on the walk from the theatre. With his arm around you, you hadn’t even needed to pay attention to where you were walking. The street you were on was familiar, one you’d successfully avoided for months. Your old favorite coffee shop, your old favorite jewelry store, your old favorite bookshop. Everything you’d given up for fear of not having enough restraint to not walk into the restaurant you were walking towards right now. The one with a line of people outside the door, waiting enthusiastically for their chance to experience the best french fusion cuisine in the entire city. The sign above the door, gilded script on dark wood, read La Boucherie. Though to you it might as well have read Turn Back Now in bright, blinking neon lights.

“You don’t seem excited.” Loey said looking down at you with a lopsided pout, “You didn’t happen to go vegan since our last date, did you?”

“No, no.” you shook your head and plastered on your best smile, “This is great. I’ve heard really wonderful things.”

“We can go somewhere else.” he was a puppy, always so eager to please.

You grabbed his face in your hands and forced his big doe eyes to meet yours, “It’s fine. I don’t care where we go as long as it’s together. Also I just want to eat so...”

He clutched at his chest dramatically, “You really are after my heart.”

Once inside the restaurant you tried to keep breathing. Your belly was in knots and you weren’t sure how you were going to stomach a meal with your nerves twisted so tight. There was sweat beading at your hairline by the time the hostess sat you down, but you kept your smile on your face. If he was going to see you here, you were going to look happy. Happy without him.

By the main course you had calmed down quite a bit. Your table was in the main dining area and you knew that on weekends, since they were so busy, he would be working the bar. There hadn’t even been a glimpse of him all night, and the conversation with Loey was going really well. Your stomach aching from laughter rather than nerves. By the time the two of you were sitting, waiting for dessert and after dinner coffee to arrive, you had forgotten where you even were. You hadn’t thought about it at all when you excused yourself to go to the restroom. The restroom that was next to the bar. You’d even made it in and out without a hassle. It was only when you’d walked out of the restroom that your eyes fell behind the redwood bar top. You’d frozen, your heels jammed into some invisible cement, and you weren’t entirely sure you were still breathing either.

Four mirrored panels lined the wall behind the bar reflecting the packed tables, shelves on either side of the mirrors were lined with bottles of the top shelf brands that were offered. Everything else was well stocked, and well hidden, behind the bar itself. It was a sleek look and one you’d always found aesthetically pleasing.

The man behind the bar you’d used to find pleasing as well. His black hair was disheveled. The way you’d used to like, bangs swept across his forehead. They had clearly been busy all night. He had the sleeves of his white button up rolled up to his elbows, showing off the veins in his hardworking forearms. He was helping a customer who had apparently said something funny because you found yourself blinded by his incredible smile. Very suddenly you felt sick.

Honestly, standing there you weren’t sure if you were pissed off or aroused at the sight of him, which only left you more frustrated and flustered than before. After watching him for far too long you remembered Loey and found the strength to leave. At least the strength to get to where the bar met the dining area. It was there you hesitated. You were already here and if you could help it you were never coming back, you’d reasoned with yourself. You would only have this one opportunity to say your peace until you never saw him again. After a deep breath you marched over to an open space at the bar and looked at him expectantly.

He was helping someone new at this point but he noticed you immediately. His smile grew bigger than before and he held up a finger to let you know he’d be with you in a moment. You scowled slightly, having been trying to look angry but wondering if maybe you’d come off as happy to see him. He was either happy to see you or just being his generally happy self. When he was done at the other side of the bar he pushed his sleeves back up and moved over to where you were standing.

“Hey, what can I get for you?” he asked, dark brown eyes sparkling as they looked you over.

“I don’t want anything.”

A smug smirk spread across his face, “Oh, just came over to see me? I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be.” you snapped, “I just wanted to tell you, I’m here on a date. It’s going really well and I really like him. So I might have sex tonight...with him.”

His eyes went wide with surprise and he laughed, looking both amused and confused by your declaration. “I-I’m...that’s great? Congratulations.”

“I’m really happy now. I wanted you to know how happy I am.” you felt your confidence waiver the longer you stood in front of him. “So that’s why I came over here. To let you know I’m fine, better than fine.”

“Well I am happy you’re happy. I guess.” he nodded casually.

“Yeah, and no thanks to you.”

“Wh- I...I’m sorry. Do we know each other? You seem really mad at me.” he said finally just needing some clarification over this bizarre conversation.

“Seriously?” you scoffed, unsure how much longer you could hold up because you were pretty sure this man was trying to break your heart for a second time. “Are you joking? What...are we pretending like we never happened now? You just moved all the way on from me.”

“I...I’m so sorry. I wish I knew what you were talking about. If we had spent time together, that’s definitely something I would have wanted to remember.” he looked genuinely sorry, which made no sense to you. You weren’t crazy.

“Spent time together?” your jaw dropped to the floor, “I know we weren’t exactly dating but I thought we at least… You know what? Forget it. Just, I don’t know, go fuck yourself, Hoseok.”

You didn’t even give him the chance to process your words before turning on your heel and leaving. You were already almost in rage tears when you’d gotten back to the table. Loey’s smile instantly fading at the sight of you and turning into concern. After apologizing profusely you grabbed your things and begged him to stay and enjoy dessert, promising to call him when you were home. He was incredibly confused but you’d made it clear you needed, and very much wanted to be alone.

You made it out to the curb before the first tears hit and you threw your jacket on before starting down the sidewalk. Behind you there was someone calling for you to stop. Looking over your shoulder you could see it wasn’t Loey, it wasn’t anyone familiar at all so you kept going. You weren’t in the mood for being sexually harassed tonight. He was not relenting, once you passed the second building with him still on your tail you reached into your purse and wrapped your hand around the mace you kept.

“Ma’am! Miss! Please, stop. Ma’am. Jesus Christ, would you stop?” he called behind you.

Finally nearing the end of the block, tears streaking your cheeks, you whipped around furiously. “Listen, you fucking creep, I am clearly not interested. And the fact that you’re chasing after a vulnerable, sobbing mess of a woman really goes to show what kind of sick predator you truly are. Now step back before I mace you until you are forever blinded.”

“Wow…” he said, raising his eyebrows and taking several steps back “Are you done? I’m not trying to fuck you, okay? I saw you in the bar talking to Hoseok. Are you friends with him?”

You calmed slightly, but just barely. “I thought, at the very least, but apparently I wasn’t anything to him but forgettable.”

“Um… okay.” the stranger placed his hands together in front of his mouth, trying to decide the best way to say whatever it was he was going to say. “Here’s the thing. Hoseok was in a really bad car accident. He doesn’t remember most of the last six years of his life.”

“What?” you asked, unsure of what else to even say.

“I know it sounds... nuts. I don’t know what you know about memory loss, but they said he has post-traumatic amnesia. His is a hefty cocktail of retrograde amnesia and short term memory loss.” he shrugged, “The guy doesn’t even remember he was in an accident most days.”

“Fuck,” you muttered looking over this complete stranger, “You are the most legit wingman that has ever existed, but you can go back to your friend and let him know I’m over it. I’m over him.”

“No, listen, seriously! This isn’t some joke. The only reason he remembers who I am is because we’ve been best friends since grade school. I swear on my life, if you come back tomorrow, he won’t even remember tonight happened.”

With your heart pounding against your chest, your first thought was to wonder if he’d really been in some horrible accident. Your second was how you hadn’t been there for him if he was. Tears threatened the backs of your eyes once more and you took a deep breath.

You were pretty sure you knew the answer before the question left your mouth, but you had to ask anyway to be certain. “When was it? The accident...what was the day?”

Before he even got the date out all the way, you knew it was the night Hoseok was supposed to be coming to see you. It had been over a year but that day stuck with you like it had been one of the worst days of your life. It was the beginning of the first time you’d ever had your heartbroken.

Closing your eyes, a few tears fell down your cheeks. It was a lot to take in if it was true. If it was true that meant that he hadn’t intentionally hurt you. You exhaled deeply, “Thank you... for telling me. I have to go.”

You had already turned your back to him, more than ready to leave, when he said “Are you yeosin?”

“Excuse me?” you asked looking over your shoulder.

“Did Hoseok ever call you yeosin?”

This time you turned all the way back around as you thought back to one of the last times you’d been together.

Postcoital cuddling in his bed, tangled up in the sheets together. He’d been petting your hair, keeping you in a staring contest. Prolonged eye contact was his favorite game to play with you because it never took long for you to get too flustered to even look at him and he reveled in it. You could be anywhere. In bed or out to eat, alone or in a crowded room, it didn’t matter. He’d touch you, something small. Petting your hair, his thumb rubbing circles on your hip, running his foot against yours. Then he’d lock eyes with you and smirk while your stomach got tied up in knots, your core covered in warm honey. The easiest way to get you in the mood.

“Damn it, Hoseok!” you’d whined and then laughed, blushing as you’d finally looked away.

He’d only laughed, pulling you closer, and you’d sunk comfortably into the warmth of him, “Oh yeosin, maybe one day.”

“Why do you call me that?” you’d asked pushing his bangs off his forehead.

“Yeosin?” you’d nodded, and he’d smiled, “Because for me, that’s what you are.”

You’d rolled your eyes at his response, “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m not even your girlfriend.”

“You’re more than that. You’re my goddess, my queen.”

When you came back from the memory, his friend was still looking at you expectantly. You shook your head, “It doesn’t matter. I really need to go now.”

“Please, it does matter! If you ever cared about him at all...please, just please come back tomorrow.”

You sighed, “Maybe.”

“Okay! Maybe, I’ll take a maybe over a no.” he sounded genuinely excited, “My name is Minhyuk. Come straight to the bar tomorrow. I’ll look for you. We can talk.”

~~~

La Boucherie. You’d stood in front of the restaurant window for twenty minutes. Just eyeing the curl and flow of the cursive gold lettering that matched the lettering on the sign over the door. You weren’t even sure why you had come. Still not even positive this wasn’t some insane ruse. All day, and most of the night, you had debated on whether or not to actually show up. It would have been easy to go back and forth for the rest of your life contemplating whether or not you believed the validity of the story you were told. One thing you knew for sure though, for the last year of your life Hoseok had stayed on your mind. And even after months of anger and pain, seeing him had still made your heart race at a different pace than any of the other guys you’d tried being with after him. So you couldn’t help but think that it would be worth it to find out. For closures sake, you’d justified to yourself.

Saturday at the restaurant was just as bad as Friday or worse maybe, you’d thought walking into the thick crowd of people at the door. You told the hostess you were there to see Minhyuk and she waved you into the bar area. He was there, like he’d said, and as enthusiastic as ever. When he looked up to see you his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. At least someone remembered you. He made you your drink of choice and practically begged you to stick around until he got a free moment to sneak away. You sat at the bar, sipping on your drink and scrolling through your phone. Minhyuk came by often to check up on you and make sure you didn’t need anything. He even made sure someone brought you an appetizer on the house. Nearly every time he passed he thanked you again for being there and for staying.

“You’re not flirting with him are you?”

You had just lifted your drink to your lips for a sip and had to actively try not to choke at the sound of his voice. You eyed him through the mirror behind the bar. He was smiling, head quirked slightly as he looked at the back of your head, waiting for you to notice him.

Dabbing your mouth with a cocktail napkin you turned to look at him. “Excuse me?”

“The bartender. You’re not flirting with him are you?” he asked and leaned against the bar between you and the guy who had been on the stool next to you.

He was so close you weren’t sure you could speak. You put your glass down slowly. “What would it matter to you if I was?”

“It’s none of my business. I know that. I just think there is something inherently wrong with the most beautiful woman in this entire building flirting with him. I felt a moral obligation to object. I say all of this with love, mind you, the guy’s my best friend.”

You placed your hand over your mouth to try and hide your smile, but the blush was already creeping over your cheeks and up your neck. He was a meal standing right in front of you. Tight back jeans ripped over the muscles in his thighs, his white button down from the night before was replaced with a black one to match the jeans. You loathed how impossibly soft, and pink his lips looked as he pouted at you slightly. Not to mention the way he was staring at you like you were the only other person in the world, forget being just the most beautiful woman in the building.

It was unfair, if this was true, you thought to yourself. If he was really standing in front of you looking like that. You knowing how good it felt to kiss those lips and at one point having been able to kiss them whenever you’d wanted. To already know the feel of his hands on your body, but be expected to do nothing about it because if he truly did have amnesia you were certain that kissing him like you wanted to now would be some form of sexual harassment. Even if he wouldn’t remember it tomorrow. Maybe even worse that he wouldn’t remember it the next day.

You gulped, “Well, who would you suggest I flirt with then?”

He raised his hand to chest, “Wow, I’m so sorry. Was I not being as obvious as I thought I was being? Beautiful, you should be flirting with me.”

“Oh, you were definitely being obvious. I just wanted to hear you say it.” you smirked and brought your drink back to your lips.

“Good.” he held out his hand, “I’m Hoseok.”

You bit your lip, trying to read his face. Did he really not remember you? Even from last night when you’d kind of gone off on him? You placed your hand in his, the feeling was electric.

“I’m y/n.” you said a little awkwardly, thrown by having to introduce yourself to someone who knew you.

“Fitting, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” You suppressed an eye roll you would have given old Hoseok. “Would you mind if I sat with you for awhile?”

He still held your hand in his, his thumb rubbing gentle circles over the top. With your free hand you motioned to the now empty seat behind him. He sat down, keeping your hand, and once he was situated he locked eyes with you. It felt hard to breathe, he was the definition of breathtaking. You grew warm all over, like being showered in sunlight. Then you started to feel the all too familiar tug in your belly. The tiniest sigh fell from your lips as he continued to circle his thumb on the back of your hand. You turned away first, per usual. He chuckled lightly as you took a sip of your drink.

“Um,” you put your glass down, “The bartender...he’s your friend, you said?”

He nodded, “Best friend for many years.”

“How do you know him? Do you work here?”

“Actually, I own this restaurant. Him,” he nodded towards Minhyuk, “I met back when we were in school.”

“Oh,” you nodded. Pretending to be impressed by something you already knew was harder than you expected. “How long have you owned this place?”

“Almost six months.” he said confidently. There was a complete and total belief that what he’d said was the truth. It wasn’t. Hoseok had owned this restaurant for over seven years already.

“You’re sure we’ve never met?” you asked curiously.

“Absolutely positive. I could never forget a smile like yours. That way you blush...” he boldly brushed his thumb over your cheek, “I would never forget you.”

He stayed with you at the bar for some time playing with your hand as you tried to casually ask him questions about your past lives together. You focused on reading his face when he answered and it didn’t hurt that his face had always been one of your favorite views. You remained unsure if you were trying to catch him in a lie or were just amazed at the fact that he might have actually forgotten everything. On top of everything running through your head there was also something strangely exciting about sitting there experiencing him flirt with you again the way he had the very first time you met.

If you were being entirely honest with yourself you’d missed him. It had been so easy to be angry and to hate him when you hadn’t seen him for weeks. In your head he had turned into an evil demon monster. Having him sitting right in front of you smiling and laughing, being the sweet and funny Hoseok you remembered, it made you ache for him like you hadn’t done for months.

“Have you ever tried the curry place down on fourth avenue?” you asked. That was the place that you would always order takeout from together.

He shook his head, “No, actually I’ve never had curry before.”

He hadn’t tried curry before the two of you met, you knew that about him. Hoseok had pretty singular tastes and didn’t really stray from what he knew, but you were too adventurous to let that fly in your relationship.

“If you’re ever around there, you should go and try it. It’s really good. I think you’d like it a lot.”

“I actually live right down the road from there. We should go together.” he offered.

“Yeah I think I’d really like that.” you said with a tiny smile.

Sooner than you’d wanted he confessed he had to leave. There was work to be done and he’d already spent a lot of time fooling around with you. The two of you had talked through most of the dinner rush. Although you felt a little guilty, you wouldn’t have changed it. It worked out well anyway because almost as soon as Hoseok was gone Minhyuk had come over, ready to talk. He walked you around the corner, passed the bathrooms. There was a small room with what looked like a lot of backstock for the bar. Kegs of beer, crates of wine. Minhyuk emptied one of the crates and flipped it over, offering it to you as a place to sit.

“He doesn’t remember anything.” you said quietly, your eyes welled up with tears instantly, the weight of it finally sinking in now that Hoseok wasn’t around to distract you. “He doesn’t remember us at all.”

“It’s not just you.” Minhyuk said stuffing his hands in his pockets, “It’s really everything. He doesn’t remember his mom's passing. His brother’s wedding. Most days he struggles with the code to his apartment and there have been days when he couldn’t even find the apartment itself. I can’t express how hard this has been.”

“So what, you have to like babysit him?” you asked, “Does he really forget everything, everyday, like in the movies.”

“Basically. I was the only one who could really afford to pick up and leave everything else to be here for him. He was in a coma for almost seven months. I immediately took over the restaurant for him while he was out. When he woke up with the memory loss, I stuck around. He doesn’t question me being here because I actually worked with him when he first opened. Which is about where he is in his timeline, memory wise.” Minhyuk let out an exasperated sigh, “He’s mostly fully functioning now, but he does get confused. He picks up on little things here and there. Usually the more repetitive it is the better he is at remembering. Being back at work really helped. He’s been good at remembering small tasks and it’s stirred up some progress but he’s been at a bit of a standstill lately. The problem with just doing the same things over and over is there’s nothing new challenging him or stimulating his memory. ”

“How long will he be like this? Forever? Why did he regress so far back? Is that common?”

Minhyuk shook his head, “No, the doctor doesn’t think it’ll be forever, but there’s no real timeline. They don’t know why he went back so far, maybe the extent of the damage. Most people only forget until just before the accident. He, his doctor, said that a trigger would be helpful in getting him back but we hadn’t really been sure what that could be. That’s actually why I asked you to come back.”

Pushing himself off of the shelf he’d been leaning on, Minhyuk pulled a phone from his back pocket. The screen was cracked to hell and there were scratches covering every inch. Hoseok’s old phone.

He handed it to you. “You’re the only one he talked to consistently that wasn’t me or his brother. He knew both of us before that six year mark so we don’t really trigger anything new for him. We were thinking...you might be what he needs.”

“We?” you asked absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.

He’d had dozens of conversations but most of them were with vendors for the restaurant or employees requesting time off or reporting an absence.You’d always kind of thought he worked too hard, but you didn’t realize the extent of it. You didn’t realize that he didn’t have anything in his life outside of work, except you. The conversation at the top was yours. He had you in his phone as Yeosin, which you’d never known. The last message was from you to him.

If I ever see your face again, Hoseok, it’ll be too soon.

You gulped, ashamed and embarrassed at how hateful you sounded in your last messages to him. For weeks after the accident, when you thought he’d just been ghosting you. You looked up at Minhyuk ready to explain. To apologize and swear up and down that you weren’t this person.

He shrugged, “You didn’t know.”

Next you scrolled through his photos. It felt a little like an invasion of privacy but you couldn’t help yourself. It was like learning parts of him he’d kept from you before and it was fascinating. You saw his brother at different holidays and special events. A fractured timeline of his niece through the years, from infant to toddler. Pictures of things for the restaurant like invoices, inventory, and what were probably pictures for insurance.

What surprised you was that most of his pictures were of you. Hoseok didn’t do social media, he didn’t really have time. He didn’t even run the media pages for the restaurant, he’d hired someone for that. That meant you’d never gotten to see all the pictures he’d taken of you, or realized just how many the two of you had together. Out to dinner, at different events, at home. There were cute ones, silly ones, sexy ones. An entire history of your relationship. You didn't realize you were crying until tears were splashing down on the cracked screen. You wondered if you had meant more to him than you realized and he’d just never told you. Then again it wasn’t like you’d ever told him what he meant to you either. Suddenly, you were incredibly worried you would never get the chance to know for sure.

“Um, we?” you asked again wiping your face clean and handing him back the phone.

“His brother, me, the doctor.” he said, “We would have tried to get ahold of you right when it happened, but we didn’t even know about the phone until he woke up. It had been lodged in the car, they put in a box with all the other stuff they salvaged. We hadn’t even thought to open it until we realized we needed to trigger his memory. By that time...”

You let out a small laugh, “I had changed my number. I’m so sorry. Have you tried just showing him the phone?”

“Yeah, a couple times. He just got weird and cried a lot. It didn’t really help.” he shrugged, “We think you could help though. You knew him the best during the last few years. I, we, really think you could be what brings him back.”

Thinking about the man outside this room with his beautiful smile and lingering gaze, you knew there was only one option. You looked up at Minhyuk and nodded, “What can I do? I’ll do anything.”

~~~~

It was simple really. All you were asked to do was come around and see him. Come see him and let him see you. That’s what you did and you did it often. Four times a week that first month. At first it was going to the restaurant, hanging out at the bar or eating a meal alone, waiting to see if he would notice you. He did, every time without fail, notice you. Each time he would come over to where you were and confidently make a pass at you. He would offer to comp your meals and buy you drinks. Several times he’d asked for your number. You’d have to tell Minhyuk so he could go back later and delete it, knowing it would be tough to explain why you were in his phone already the next time he asked you for it.

After weeks had gone by and you’d reintroduced yourself to Hoseok for the twentieth time, you and Minhyuk decided you needed to try something else. The two of you started manufacturing casual run-ins. He’d find out where Hoseok was going to be or ask him to come out with him somewhere and tell you where to go. Grocery stores were easy locations and so were coffee shops. You’d always get a little nervous because it was so uncertain how he’d react. The restaurant was more controlled and he was always so confident there. When he saw you anywhere else he seemed almost shy and would really work for it. It was so brand new to you to see him struggle a little.

At the grocery store he’d follow behind you for awhile, gathering courage. Usually if you stood for a while pretending to read the backs of boxes he’d make his way over, pretending to need something in front of you as a way to break the ice. Coffee shops usually meant him sitting somewhere in your line of sight. He’d make big movements to try and catch your attention. Pushing out his chest, stretching out his arms, subtle flexing that left you biting your lip to keep from laughing at how ridiculous of a flirt he was. He’d test the waters by matching your gaze over the tops of his glasses until you were blushing and flustered. Then he’d come over to your table and sit down with a pleased smile offering to refresh your drink.

Everytime, no matter where you were, like a moth to a flame he would find you. At first it was the best feeling in the world. It warmed you every time he’d find you. Everytime you were in a room full of people and the first thing he noticed was you. Everytime he would find a new way to get your attention, introduce himself to you, and flirt with you made you fall a little bit more for him. Then, slowly, it became the worst feeling. It was bitter for you because even though there was clearly something there, you were stuck. You were falling deeper in love with him than you’d ever been with anyone else. You learned and relearned every part of him, and all he ever wanted was your name. It got harder and harder for you to “meet” him, feeling so hopeless, knowing it was all for nothing. Desperate for a break you’d been avoiding messages and calls from Minhyuk for days.

Too frustrated by everything you just wanted a step back. A moment of your life where Hoseok’s face wasn’t the only thing you saw or the only thing you thought about. Work was turning out to be a decent distraction for that. Especially as there was a big opening at the art gallery you worked for in the upcoming weeks that you were busy preparing for. You were actually on the phone with the caterers for the event when you heard the chime of the door opening.

“I told Bianca when we spoke last week that it was eight hundred. Minimum.” you said calmly looking up from your paperwork to the visitor. You placed your hand over the mouth of the phone before saying “I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

Everything stopped as you caught sight of him. He may have had his back to you but that didn’t change the fact that you knew it was him. There was a black beanie pulled over his hair and his ears and he was wearing a leather jacket over a pair of light jeans. There was no reason for you to know it was him from where you were positioned but you did with one hundred percent certainty. You sunk down behind the front desk and took several deep breaths. There had been no plans made with Minhyuk for this, you didn’t even remember telling him where you worked. He had never once told you to expect this.

“Ma’am, hello?” you could hear the woman from the catering company on the phone, “Are you still there?”

“Oh my god,” you hissed into the receiver, “can you please give me a minute. I need a minute.”

You grabbed your cellphone off the desk and pulled it into your lap bringing up the conversation you had with Minhyuk.

You 1:15 pm: Are you here?

It took a minute for you to see the bubble pop up with its three little dots. Or it might have been seconds, but time got strange when you weren’t functioning properly.

Min 1:16 pm: ...where?

You 1:16 pm: At my work.

You 1:16 pm: Min

You 1:16 pm: Did you send him here?

You 1:16 pm: How do you know where I work?

You 1:16 pm: Min

You 1:17 pm: Min

You 1:17 pm: EXPLAIN PLEASE

Min 1:17 pm: Who

Min 1:17 pm: Wtf r u talking about??

Min 1:17 pm: I’m at the restaurant

Min 1:17 pm: haven’t heard from u in a week...

You looked up again to see that he had moved near the back of the gallery, still just observing the art. You could see now that he was wearing his tight maroon sweater under the jacket and your eyes went wide, he looked so good there was no way this wasn’t a trap.

You 1:18pm: Ho! Seok! Hoseok is at my work right now!

The bubble appeared and disappeared four different times and then…

Min 1:19pm: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You 1:19pm: You’re a dead man Lee Minhyuk.

After the message sent you slammed your phone down on the desk and picked up the cordless phone for the gallery.

“Are you still there?” you asked hurriedly.

“Yes…”

“Okay, I’m going to have to call you back. Something super urgent came up, a fire to put out. I will call you back as soon as I can.” the woman on the other end sounded upset but you didn’t have the time to concern yourself with it.

You stood up and smoothed out your skirt before inconspicuously slipping back into the heels you’d kicked off under the desk. After several deep breaths you walked over to where he was standing. He’d been looking at a tall, nearly ten foot tall, narrow painting that you’d had in the gallery forever. He’d seen it before. He used to come in all the time to pick you up from work or to take you to lunch. When this painting came in originally he’d looked it over for a long time and said

“You’re never going to sell this.” you blinked at the Hoseok standing in front of you now, a sincere wave of deja vu crashing over you. He looked over at you and smiled, “I mean, not that I think you’re a bad salesperson it’s just who has the kind of space for it?”

It took an excruciatingly long moment for you to reply as he stood there looking at you, waiting. “Not the first time I’ve heard that. Um, unfortunately you’re not wrong. It’s been hard to move to say the least.”

“If I had somewhere to put it, I’d take it off your hands.” Not the first time you’d heard that either. He reached out his hand, “I’m Hoseok.”

“Hi Hoseok, I’m y/n. Did you need help finding something?” you asked tugging your lip between your teeth.

He shook his head, “No. I actually was just going to get lunch. I liked the way the door looked, thought I’d come inside.”

“The door… of the building?”

“Weird, right? I saw it and it just felt...familiar? Just felt like I’d been wanting to come in here for awhile, and I had the time so here I am.” he grinned. “Do you know any good places to eat around here?”

That earned him a suspicious look. He lived maybe a handful of blocks away from here and you knew his favorite ramen shop was about two streets over. “What are you hungry for?”

“What would you want? If you were going to lunch with me, what would you be hungry for?” he asked.

You crossed your arms over your chest and thought about it, “Anything I want?”

He nodded, “Anything at all.”

“Curry.” you said with a smirk waiting for a groan or a request for something else.

He made a bit of a face and then smiled, “Okay. Let’s go then.”

“What?” you asked surprised.

“Come get lunch with me.” he shrugged as if it was no big deal to ask someone you’d known for five minutes out to lunch.

“That’s bold of you. Anyway, I’m at work.” you said and looked around the empty gallery, “Alone. I can’t just leave.”

He hummed thoughtfully, “How long? How long until you’re not alone?”

“Could be hours.” you lied and looked down at your watch. Your coworker should actually have been back from her lunch twenty minutes ago.

“I’ll wait then.” he said clasping his hands behind his back and moving on to the next piece of art.

You couldn’t move, you just watched him as he walked around the gallery. Never once did he look back at you. He didn’t need to, he’d already seen the incredulous look that you’d had frozen on your face. Finally, after taking way too long to respond once again, you walked over to where he had stopped this time.

“Why would you wait that long just to have lunch with a stranger?” you asked.

He turned to you with a small smirk on his lips, “I think you’re pretty. I also thought it was cute, the way you were trying to hide behind your desk when I came in. So I’d like to have a meal with you. Also I’ve never had curry before. I wouldn’t know the first thing about what to order, I’ll need you to come with me to tell me what’s best.”

You scoffed, “You think you’re so charming, don’t you?”

“What, you disagree?” he laughed.

“I didn’t say that.” you blushed and looked away.

You both turned at the sound of the chime for the front door to see your coworker scurrying in. Big sunglasses on her face, big purse on her shoulder, and big phone against her ear. She had a finger raised as if to shush you before you even thought to say anything. The two of you watched her go around the desk to drop her bag off and then click clack her way to the restroom without even so much as a hello.

“Well would you look at that?” he said, “You’re not alone anymore.”

You opened your mouth to say something but thought better of it and ended up just rolling your eyes, much to his amusement. When Mina returned from the restroom she had her sunglasses on the top of her head and was just pulling her phone from her ear.

“Hey, Y/n! Soooo sorry I’m late. We had italian for lunch. I had too many bellinis and honestly the service was terrible. It’s not really even my fault I’m late.” She looked up at you finally and her eyes went wide, “Oh. My. God. Is that H-”

“Hey!” you shouted enthusiastically, “Hey, Mina. Mina...hey! Can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” she said eyeing Hoseok as you hurried over to the desk where she was standing. When you arrived she leaned in and said, “That is Hoseok, right?”

“Yes,” you said quietly.

“I can’t really blame you for going back to him, he looks…” she ran her tongue across her lip as she looked over at him. “So good.”

You sighed, “We’re going to go to lunch, so I’ll be gone for a little bit.”

She raised a dramatic eyebrow. “Oh, you think you’ll be coming back to work after. That’s so cute.”

“Mina! Please, it’s just lunch.”

“Just lunch...with that man? I don’t think so, y/n.” she said waving over at Hoseok and he nodded kindly in return, “Yeah, leave your panties here, you won’t be needing them where he’s taking you.”

“Anyway…” you said and grabbed your purse off of the desk, “I’ll be back. Hoseok, let’s go.”

He hurried to the front where you were and went to open the door for you.

“I won’t hold my breath!” Mina called in a song song as you made your way outside.

Lunch with Hoseok had been amazing. At several points you’d questioned why you had ever wanted space from him in the first place. You also realized you’d gotten so good at feigning interest in the things he’d repeatedly told you about himself as first meeting banter. The best part by far had been something new. It had been ordering Hoseok his favorite dish from the restaurant and watching his face explode in delight at the very first bite. He made you laugh so hard your cheeks ached and the two of you ate so much you thought you’d never have to eat again as long as you lived.

Afterwards he asked if you wanted to take a walk with him or if you had to go back to work right away. You didn’t want to prove Mina wrong so you sent her a quick message to let her know you wouldn’t be back that afternoon. You also found a message from Minhyuk swearing he had nothing to do with it, which you ignored. Hoseok walked the two of you down the street to the park that was across from his apartment building. You walked and talked down the bike path and around the small duck pond and then back up again. Finally you begged for the chance to sit down.

Your work heels weren’t meant for leisurely strolls, and you’d become worried they were filling with blood. Though truth be told, if he’d wanted to you would have kept walking for miles, but you were grateful that you didn’t have to. You were grateful he had found an unoccupied bench for the two of you to share. You sat there for some time, at one point the wind picked up and he threw his jacket over your shoulders to make sure you were comfortable enough to stay with him a little longer.

“I’m really glad I walked into your work today.” he said moving a few stray hairs away from your face. The lights in the park started to turn on as the sun neared setting.

“Me too.” you agreed watching his tongue brush over his lips. This, you’d thought to yourself, would be a good moment for him to kiss you. If he didn’t you imagined you might scream out of frustration.

The two of you sat there for a little while longer, just watching each other. It didn’t have quite the intensity of his staring game, but it still left knots in your stomach. Your whole body was vibrating as you caught him eyeing your mouth. He gulped lightly and it felt like this was it. So you sat still as a statue as he leaned in, worried you might scare him off if you made any sudden movements. He was so close, nose brushing lightly against yours close. Then he pulled away.

“I’m so sorry.” he shook his head, “I don’t know why I did that. We just met, that was really out of line. I apologize.”

You sat quietly for a minute. All of your sexual frustration threatening to boil over. Little white bubbles stacking up beyond your capacity, staying put by nothing more than the grace of god. Looking at his face you knew you couldn’t yell at him, despite the urge to that was tugging at your chest. It wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know, but this wasn’t your fault either. It wasn’t fair for anyone.

“I can’t do this anymore.” you sighed and stood up, “I can’t.”

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I just can’t, Hoseok. I’m so sorry.” you said through trembling lips as you pulled his jacket off your shoulders.

He took the jacket from you reluctantly, “It was a mistake, I won’t try it again. We don’t have to do anything, I promise I didn’t expect anything from you. I just wanted to spend time with you.”

“That’s the problem!” you groaned in frustration, he probably already thought you were crazy. You thought you might as well get it all out so he could go to bed and forget any of it happened. “I know it’s not your fault, but you can’t possibly understand how hard it is for me to be falling so desperately in love with a man that never remembers who I am! I don’t get to kiss you or touch you like I want, like I was used to. Every day it’s like you’re meeting me for the first time and you would never want to spend time with a girl that desperate that she begs for your physical attention after the first five minutes of meeting her.”

“I…” it was clear he was already confused by everything you were saying but it was too late, you just had to get it out.

“No, I’m not done.” you said lifting your finger, “Because now it’s so much more than that. It’s more than kissing you and holding you. It’s the inside jokes that you’re on the outside of. It’s the memories that you can’t remember and feeling like maybe I made all of it up. Maybe I made us up. Worst of all...worst of all, it’s knowing in the back of my mind that maybe before all of this you could have fallen in love with me too. I could have made you love me and now I can’t even get you to remember me.”

“I don’t...I don’t know what to say.”

“No, I know. I know.” you sniffed and smiled weakly, “I’m going to kiss you. Is that okay?”

He didn’t know why it felt right but he nodded, “Yeah.”

You grabbed his face in your hands and pulled his mouth to yours. It felt so good to have his soft, full lips against yours. He pulled you close, letting you sink into his chest. It was bittersweet. Kissing him again was exactly what you remembered it could be, but that only reminded you how much it hurt to not have it all the time. You left a quick peck of a kiss and pulled back.

“I’m gonna leave. Um, I’ll call Minhyuk and let him know.” You ran your hand over his chest with a sigh, “I’m really, I’m really sorry I wasn’t...strong enough for this. I hope you get to remember.”

“Minhyuk?” he asked still dazed and very much confused, “You know Minhyuk?”

“Yeah, you should call him. He can explain everything.” you grabbed your purse off the bench and slipped on your shoes. Hoseok didn’t know what else to do but stand there and watch you. Everything you had confessed, the kiss, and his feelings on all of it still processing very slowly. When you were ready you leaned up one last time and kissed his cheek, “I really do love you, Hoseok. I wish you could remember that.”

~~~

It was lucky for you that it was the start of your weekend because when you got home and sunk into your pajamas you knew that you’d have been useless if you were forced to try doing anything beyond laying in bed watching sappy romance movies and eating ice cream a gallon at a time. You called Minhyuk to try and explain why you couldn’t do it anymore through hefty sobs but he wasn’t understanding anything you said. You ended up just texting him something of an essay that didn’t make much more sense than your verbal ramblings but you’d figured you’d tried your best and it’s all you could do.

It made you incredibly frustrated, mad, and just generally upset that you had to get over Hoseok for a second time. Part of you wished you’d never seen him again, that you didn’t know about the accident. That you hadn’t spent the last couple of months fruitlessly trying to help him get his memory back. Mostly you just wished that he would come back to you.

Sunday morning you woke up fairly early. You showered and got ready for the day like a normal human being, and made your way down the street to the grocery store. The pretense was that you were going to pick up some vegetables and fruit, something sustainable. Part of you knew all along that you were just going to get more ice cream. As you walked up the sidewalk to your apartment building you saw a familiar face. You shifted your bag of groceries in your arm as you watched Hoseok, wondering what he was doing there.

“Seriously, Minhyuk…” you muttered under your breath.

Hoseok looked completely lost, just slowly spinning around in a circle like he was looking for something specific. As you got closer to him, he stopped. You could see his Adam’s apple bob in his throat with a gulp and you wondered for the briefest moment if maybe he remembered you, if you were the something specific he’d been looking for. You kept his gaze, half expecting him to say something to you. Instead his cheeks grew a shy blush and he looked away as you passed him. Maybe not. The fact that he didn’t say anything to you only made you more curious as to why he was there if it really wasn’t for you. You walked up the few steps of the stoop and tried to juggle your groceries as you dug into your purse for your keys.

��Do you need some help?”

Even though you knew he was there, his voice still took you by surprise. You looked over your shoulder and smiled, “No, thanks. I got it.”

“Okay.” He smiled back lightly and shoved his hands in his pockets before walking down the sidewalk a little ways.

Once you got yourself inside you stopped to grab your mail. You could still see him from your mailbox, wandering around aimlessly. He looked like a sad, lost puppy and all the frustration you’d felt start to dissipate yet again. You let out a long deep sigh as you realized that it was never going to be over for you, not when it came to him.

Leaving your groceries on the shelf in front of the mailboxes you walked over to the door and pushed it open. “Do you need help with something?”

Hoseok spun around with a bright smile on his face. “I don’t know.”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What?”

“Um…” he looked around the street once more and then jogged the short way to your stoop. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. You ever get the feeling you’re supposed to be somewhere but once you get there you’re not sure what you’re there for?”

“Literally never...done that” You laughed.

“I know it sounds crazy.” He shook his head and looked back up at you, meeting your gaze but this time with more confidence. “I woke up this morning and I knew that I had to be here, that it was important that I come here.”

You gulped, “Like right here, to this spot?”

“I didn’t know, not it first. It was more general. I’ve been walking around this neighborhood all morning and then when I got to this street I just knew I was close and then I got to that light post over there and...can’t figure out where I’m supposed to go. But I know this is approximately where I need to be. I haven’t been able to figure out why. It feels familiar but nothing looks familiar. Does that make sense?”

“Why did you feel like you needed to come here?” You asked leaning against the doorframe.

His smile faltered slightly. “I felt bad, I think. Guilty maybe, like I needed to make something right. My heads been weird lately. I thought I’d know when I got here.”

“Well…” you sighed, had he really come all this way to make up with you without even knowing it? Or were you just reading too far into it? “If you’ve been outside all morning you should come in for awhile and warm up. You don’t want to get sick. I can make you some tea.”

“Really?” He asked, looking thrilled at the idea, “You’d do that for a stranger?”

You let out a small laugh, “Yeah...I’d do that for a stranger. Come on, I’m letting all the hot air out.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” he said slipping inside of the building. He watched as you got your mail, you’d been too distracted by him to do it before. Then he snatched up your bag of groceries before you could, “I’ll carry them. It’s the least I could do.”

“I guess, if you really want to.” you grinned walking over to the stairs.

“I’m Hoseok, by the way.”

You let out a little hum and nodded, “Nice to meet you, Hoseok. I’m y/n.”

Inside your apartment you brought the groceries to the kitchen and told Hoseok to make himself at home as you started the water for the tea. As you waited for the water to heat up you peeked around the corner of the kitchen and watched him as he scoped out your living room. He looked cozy in his old, oversized, black hoodie and a pair of gray sweatpants. You let yourself imagine, just for a moment, how nice it would be to get back into your pajamas and curl up on the couch with him. Luckily the whistle of your tea kettle woke you from your fantasy and you slipped back into the kitchen.

When you came back into the living room with the tea he was sitting in front of your record collection, flipping through the old vinyls. He looked up at you with a smile, “This is really cool.”

You handed him one of the cups and sat down on the floor with him, “It was mostly inheritance from my dad. I’ve picked up a handful here and there, but it was mostly his thing.”

“Can I put something on?” he asked hopefully.

“Sure.” you shrugged and while he flipped through the records you crawled over to the couch and started tossing throw pillows onto the floor in front of the record player.

After you crawled back over you laid on your back with your head on one of the pillows and closed your eyes. You weren’t entirely surprised when the first song started to play. It was one he’d played often when he came over to your place before. A well worn compilation of vintage soul songs, it had been your dads favorite record too. Hoseok laid down on his stomach, tucking a pillow under his chest, and held the tea you’d made in his hands.

When you opened your eyes he was looking down at you with a curious smile, “Is this okay?”

“This is really nice. I like it.” you nodded.

You watched him for awhile as he bobbed his head and moved his shoulders to the beat of the songs, taking sips every now and then of the tea in his hands. He looked happy and content. You thought to ask him what he was thinking about but didn’t want to bother him. When he was warm from the tea he moved his pillow so that he could rest his head on it. Then you watched each other quietly as the music played in the background.

“Did you ever figure out what you came here for?” you asked.

He smiled shyly and turned his face into the pillow for a second before looking back at you, “Yeah, I think I did.”

~~~

Minhyuk smirked when he saw you walk into the bar that evening. Without offering you a greeting he started making your usual drink as you found a seat.

“I see you changed your mind.” He said sliding the glass in front of you. “That didn’t last long at all.”

You gulped down a mouthful of the drink and placed your glass back on the bar. “Don’t boast, it doesn’t suit you.”

“What changed your mind?” He asked leaning against the bar top.

“Hoseok.” You answered simply.

“Speaking of, he’s not here tonight. He’s off today.”

“Yeah, I know. I saw him earlier. We spent a couple of hours together.” You cleared your throat, “That’s why I’m here to see you, we need to talk. Something is changing with him.”

“Something good or something bad?”

“Good. I think.” You said, “He came to me today.”

“He usually does make the first move.”

“No, he found me. I didn’t seek him out or make myself available to him somewhere. I got home from the store and he was standing in front of my apartment. He had no idea why he was there, but he came to me. If you really didn’t send him to my work like you say you didn’t, that means it’s the second time this week he’s done that.”

“Hold that thought.” he said and moved down the bar to the customer that had just sat down.

You wondered what it meant, if it was possible it meant that he was getting more memories back. How could he have known where to go if it weren’t for some subconscious memory trying to make its way to the surface. If that was the case then it meant there was finally a sliver of hope that you could hang onto and that’s all you’d really needed all along. A vision of a light at the end of the tunnel.

“Okay.” Minhyuk said sliding back over to you, “I want to get into the Hoseok thing, that’s important, but I also need you to clarify what the hell you were talking about the other day when you said you were done. Can you tell me now without crying? Hoseok seemed to think you were, I don’t know, the way he described it just sounded like you were horny, to be honest.”

Your cheeks burned red as he smirked at you. “No… that’s not… not exactly. I mean, okay, yes. I am… horny or whatever, but it was more than that. It is more than that. I have feelings for him and he can’t have feelings for me because he can’t even remember me. And yes, sometimes I want to kiss him and more-”

Minhyuk snorted, “Kiss him and more. Are you five?”

“Shut up.” you rolled your eyes, “I want more from him but everyday is the first day we’ve met for him and there’s no good way to try sleep with someone an hour after you’ve met.”

“You’ve spent all this time with him and never asked him to smash?”

“No!” you gasped, mortified, “Total time, yes we’ve spent a lifetime together, but he doesn’t know that. From his point of view every time we meet it’s the first time and it’s only for like three or four hours max. No one is just going to ask a stranger to have sex with them a few hours after they’ve met.”

He scoffed, fully amused at your assumption. “Uhhh, false. Guys will. Guys will have sex with women within minutes of meeting them.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Men are disgusting and I’m a man, so you’re not wrong.” he shrugged and leaned against the bar. He knocked his knuckles against the wood rhythmically as he thought. “How many dates did you go on before you guys originally hooked up?”

“Well,” you flushed slightly. “It was...the first...date.”

He raised his eyebrows at you, “Then what’s the issue? Just make a move already.”

“It was different that day!” you argued. “We met early in the morning and ended up spending all day together. We were with each other for over twelve hours by the time we got to his place. So it was like we’d gone on three dates, just all at one time”

“Okay, then just do that again.” he said as if it was the obvious answer, “It’s not like we haven’t fabricated all of your other dates.”

“This one we can’t. The day we met we were both going to a festival. That’s why it worked out the way it did. It’s not like there are festivals happening all day everyday just because I need one.“

“Festival?” Minhyuk asked looking suspicious. “What kind of festival was this?”

“Just a music festival down by River Park.”

“Bullshit,” he laughed, “Hoseok would never go to a music festival. He hates that crap. He doesn’t even like to go to regular concerts. He thinks they’re a waste of time and money.”

“Well I don’t know what to tell you. He was there with me all day.”

“Who mentioned this festival first, you or him?” he asked, clearly not letting it go.

“I don’t know, it was like four years ago!” you said shaking your head, but then you realized you did remember. “It was me. I was wearing some dumb outfit and he said ‘looks like you’re going somewhere fun’ and I told him about the festival, it’s how we started talking actually.”

“Hoseok, you sly dog.” Minhyuk grinned, “I’d bet a million and a half dollars he didn’t even know about the festival until he met you.”

You shook your head in denial, “He had a ticket.”

“A ticket he could have purchased online, day of the event, using his phone?” your face scrunched in confusion. “It didn’t seem weird to you that he was going alone or not meeting anyone there?”

“Not at all, because I was going to go by myself before I met him that day.”

Minhyuk stopped and looked at you for a long while. It was like he was looking at you for the first time. You squirmed uncomfortably under his lingering gaze. You reached over the bar and grabbed an olive before throwing it at him. “Oh my god, what?

“I can’t believe it took me so long to realise it. It’s so clear, everything makes so much more sense now.”

“What is clear? Make your weird little brain make sense to me!” you complained.

“Hoseok was in love with you from day fucking one.” he chuckled to himself, “It’s why he always finds you. Subconsciously he has to remember. I knew, I knew all we needed was you. We just have to figure out what to do with it.”

“In love with me? Are you kidding? We weren’t even dating.”

“You went to dinner together. You watched movies together. You went to festivals together. You made him dinner and he bought you birthday presents. Oh, and you had sex regularly...What the hell do you call that?”

“Nothing!” you argued, “We didn’t call it anything. That was the point. We didn’t have time for dating and feelings. We were just friends with benefits.”

“Well.” Minhyuk sighed, “We learned two things today. One piece of good news, one piece of bad news.

“Yeah, what’s that?” you asked taking a drink.

“Bad news is you’re a totally useless idiot. Good news is I wasn’t the last one on earth to figure out you two were in fact dating and also in love with each other.”

You rolled your eyes yet again, your favorite thing to do when Minhyuk was around really, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Get your head in the game, y/n!” he said reaching over the bar and dramatically strangling the the air in front of your neck, “He’s in love with you, you’re in love with him. Let’s figure out how to fix this mess!”

~~~

Your hands were shaking as you stood in line for coffee at your favorite cafe. It had taken Minhyuk all of ten minutes to come up with a plan and even though you weren’t sure it was going to work you also didn’t have any better ideas. It also wouldn’t hurt to try considering Hoseok would just forget by tomorrow if everything went to hell. He was standing in line ahead of you getting his coffee, his phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear. You said a silent prayer as he thanked the barista and turned around to leave.

“I’m literally right across the street. It doesn’t make sense for me to not come in today.” He was still on the phone, with who you knew was Minhyuk. As he got closer you took a deep breath and stepped to the side just a few inches. His shoulder crashed into yours. There was the sound of a splash and then he said, “Shit, Min. I gotta go.”

You turned towards him and touched his forearm lightly, “Oh my god, are you okay? I’m so sorry!”

He looked from your hand to your face where he stared for quite some time, just blinking at you. “No. Yeah! I’m fine, did I get you with my coffee?”

“Um,” you looked down at your outfit, “My shoes a little but that’s okay. I’m really sorry.”

“Please,” he shook his head, “It was entirely my fault. I was on my phone, not paying attention.”

“Even still, please let me get you another coffee. Do you have a minute to wait with me?”

Hoseok looked down at the phone in his hand, Minhyuk had said not to come in today, that he wasn’t needed. Looking back up at you he smiled, “Yeah. I have all day actually.”

“Awesome!” You beamed, “I’m going to go get something to clean this up with. Stay here for just a minute, save our place in line?”

“Of course.”

You let out a deep breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding as you stepped away. Phase one of Minhyuk’s plan was right on track.

According to Minhyuk phase one was equal to the first date. A “meet cute at the coffee shop” he’d called it. You were impressed at how everything had happened exactly like he said it would. After the mess was cleaned up and you bought Hoseok his new coffee you asked if he’d wanted to sit with you awhile and he was thrilled by the idea. Four hours of effortless conversation passed. Part of you didn’t even want to move on to phase two, you’d been so happy with how phase one was turning out. Even if you would have been fine joking around and laughing with him in that cafe for four more hours, you moved on with the plan.

Phase two, or date two, was the fall festival down at the park where the original music festival had been. Minhyuk had found out about it after thirty seconds of googling and made a terrible joke about how you’d been wrong when you said there weren’t festivals whenever you needed them. It wasn’t the same exact thing as your first first date, but it could still be a lot of fun if he agreed to it. You asked Hoseok if he’d heard about the festival and when he said no you asked, ‘even though you’d just met’, if he wanted to go check it out with you. He agreed immediately and the two of you walked down to River Park. A true gentleman, he bought your entrance ticket but you only let him do it after he promised to let you buy him a corndog.

For hours you walked around the festival. You did some people watching, lots of judging and even more laughing. You got on some sketchy looking festival rides and felt grateful every time you walked off of them in one piece. And you ate way too much fried food. Your latest culinary decision had been a pumpkin spice funnel cake and a hot chocolate. Hoseok drank hot apple cider while eating his second corndog of the day. His was a combination you couldn’t get behind entirely, but he seemed to be enjoying it and you loved to see the smile on his face.

As the two of you walked down the midway you tore a piece of your funnel cake and held it up to his mouth, “So good, try it.”

You bit your lip as he leaned forward and wrapped his lips around your fingers before sucking the treat into his mouth. He hummed as you pulled your hand away, “There’s so much delicious, horrible food here and I must eat it all. Why?”

“I don’t know,” you laughed, taking another bite, “Isn’t it the best?”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” he pointed enthusiastically across the way from where you were standing to one of those balloon and dart games. “There. We have to go over there.”

You groaned, “Those are just money traps. Let’s go to the fun house!”

“After.” he said grabbing your wrist and pulling you across the crowded midway with determination.

Very politely he asked you to hold his apple cider and you obliged. He shoved the rest of his corndog in his mouth, and was standing with it bulging from his cheek as he dug out his wallet. You watched as he exchanged his cash for three darts. In a manner that was all too serious for you he took his stance. His tongue was sticking out of the side of his mouth as he eyed one of the balloons. One out of three balloons had popped, winning him a tiny plastic toy. Apparently that wasn’t what he wanted because he pulled out more cash from his wallet and exchanged it for more darts.

It was clear after sometime that you were not going to be leaving that game until he got whatever it was he was after. In the time it was taking you finished your funnel cake and neither of you had a drink left. You’d even left at one point to find a trash, found a clown making balloon animals and purchased a balloon crown. When you finally came back he was still going and you put the crown on his head and told him it was good luck. There was a growing pile in front of him of very cheaply made, small and medium toys. Things were getting tense as he was down to his last few bills.

“What are you even after?” you asked curiously as he received another bunch of darts.

“You’ll see.” he took his first shot, the dart bursting through a red latex balloon. He got the second one too, blue balloon bits exploding with a pop! With a contemplative sigh he looked over at you and asked very seriously, “Yellow or green?”

“Green.” you answered quickly and confidently.

He focused ahead and took a deep breath before throwing the last dart. The point of the dart blasted through the green latex balloon and you couldn’t help but scream out in excitement. You laughed as Hoseok turned and lifted you off the ground to spin you around.

“You did it!” you exclaimed as he put you back down.

“Great,” the carny said with much less enthusiasm. “Toad or bunny?”

“Bunny.” He smiled, leaving his arm around your hip as he waited for his prize.

Both of you watched as the carny grabbed his long hooked stick and hoisted it into the mess of stuffed toads and bunnies above his head. He gave it a little jiggle and the huge bunny in his little velvet vest with his tiny bowtie tumbled from the sky.

“All of this because you wanted a bunny?” You asked shaking your head.

“No.” He handed you the bunny and smiled, “I don’t need a bunny, I am a bunny. The bunny is for you so can take him home and think of me when you see him.”

Your mouth fell in awe and amusement. He was such an incredible flirt and you weren’t sure when you’d started taking that for granted. Giving the bunny a tight squeeze you remembered that he had in fact told you he was a bunny when you’d first met and that he’d said to be gentle with him. At the time you’d thought he was just joking, but you’d been learning more and more that despite his manly physique he was the softest, sweetest man you’d ever met.

“You’re keeping all of them?” You asked genuinely surprised as he scooped up the whole stack of smaller prizes in his arm.”

“No, not keeping them, but I did pay for them” he looked over at you and smiled, pleased by the way you were holding onto the stuffed bunny. “Fun house?”

As you made your way down the midway once more, headed towards the fun house, you watched him as he passed out his stack of prizes to kids he saw along the way until his arms were empty. When that was done he threw his freed arm over your shoulder and you blushed into your fluffy, oversized gift. Phase two - second date, was going flawlessly.

~~~

With your arms wrapped tightly around your bunny you stood face to face with Hoseok in front of the exit gates of the festival. People were swarming around you as they tried to leave. Broke teenage couples that spent too much money cheap trinkets and rides all day, parents with pink cheeked toddlers crashed out against their shoulders. You tugged your lip between your teeth, it was time to initiate phase three - date three.

“So…” you said slowly, this was the one you were least certain he’d agree to. “I know it’s late and we’ve already spent all day together. You’re probably tired of me and want to go home but...my friend is spinning at a club a few blocks away. If you’re at all interested in spending even more time with me, I can get us in. No wait, no cover, maybe free drinks?”

“Ummm.” you were trembling, so nervous he was going to say no. “I was actually trying to think of an excuse to spend more time with you myself, so I would love to go.”

“Oh.” you sighed with relief. You felt warm all over despite the chill of the fall air. “Well, good.”

Before the two of you even got passed the gates he’d scooped up your hand in his and you led him the few blocks to the busy club. There was a line that wrapped around the corner of the building of people waiting to get into the club, but you dragged Hoseok, and Bunho, who Hoseok had named for you, to the front of the line. You dropped your name and were let in without a seconds worth of waiting. You could still hear the groans of the line outside as you walked into the building.

Inside the club was packed from wall to wall. You squeezed Hoseok’s hand as you led him to the DJ booth, laughing to yourself as people stared at the giant stuffed bunny in your arms. In the booth you were greeted by your old friend Hyungwon. He’d met Hoseok before plenty of times but you weren’t worried about him remembering as he met hundreds of people a night and was usually already tipsy before his sets even started. If you didn’t meet him outside of a club he was never going to remember you. After giving Hoseok a friendly handshake, Hyungwon wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug as a greeting and told you how happy he was you could make it. He handed over two neon green wristbands that were good for free drinks at the bar, and he promised to take care of Bunho in the booth while you had fun.

“Will you dance with me?” You asked against Hoseok's ear once you were on the crowded dance floor.

He looked so tense, but he nodded in agreement anyway. You tried several different moves in an attempt to get him to loosen up but you could tell he wasn’t feeling it yet.

Remembering the wristbands you put one in his wrist and the other on yours before shoving him to the bar. There the two of you indulged in several shots of top shelf tequila and a couple of mixed drinks. Within no time at all you both were in the best of spirits and you couldn’t shake the urge you had to dance. You asked again if he wanted to dance and this time he nodded enthusiastically

He held your hips as you both made your way back to the dance floor. It was a tight fit all around but you found a decent spot near the back where there was actually enough space to move. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were pink from the alcohol as he danced with you in the crowded club. You were glad he’d finally loosened up and seemed to be having fun.

You danced for what felt like hours and you wanted nothing more than to keep going. The pair of you jumped around, arms flailing recklessly through the air. He grabbed your hand and twirled you around under his arm several times.

Then he spun you out and pulled you back into his arms. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your chest pressed against his. Both of you were short of breath. Everyone around you kept dancing while he held you close. Not moving, not speaking, barely breathing. Your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt and you leaned in just slightly, testing the waters. He leaned towards you, until your sweaty foreheads were pressed together. Your eyes hadn’t left his lips, but you were hesitating and you were sure why.

“Are you gonna kiss me or what?” He grinned.

That was the invitation you’d apparently needed. Pulling on his shirt you tugged him that half an inch closer until your lips were pressed together. You smiled against his mouth. Really pressing yourself into him, you lifted your hands from his chest to his hair. His tongue brushed against your mouth and you let him in. You tried not to cry as you thought about how this was happening. Not some sad pity kiss in the park. A kiss you both wanted and were clearly enjoying. It felt so damn good. One of his hands slid up your back and cupped the back of your neck. You thought for a moment how you’d be okay doing this and only this for the rest of your life.

That only lasted until Hoseok pulled away from your lips and leaned close to your ear to whisper, “Do you want to get out of here?”

That one single question had an implication that left fireworks going off in the pit of your stomach.

~~~

The walk back to Hoseok’s place wouldn’t have taken that long. Even still he hailed the first cab he saw once you were out on the sidewalk outside of the club, not wanting to waste any more time. He’d pulled you into his lap in the backseat where you kissed the entire ride. In the elevator ride you stood on opposite sides. He held onto the bar behind him as he smiled over at you, anxiously tapping his leg. You peeked at him from between Bunho’s big ears, squeezing the bunny close to your chest. You couldn’t help but giggle at the feeling of anticipation running through you.

Once the elevator opened Hoseok was blasting passed you through the door, gripping your wrist tightly and leading you down the long hallway. You said a silent prayer that he’d get the code right the first time and almost cheered out loud when he did. Finally inside, your purse and giant stuffed bunny were left by the wayside as he pulled your hips towards his own.

His hands slid down your ass and backs of your legs until he’d hooked his arms around your legs to pull them around his waist. You had released several moans into his mouth. The way your body was reacting to his made you feel like he might as well already be inside you. You were feverish, and aching all over for more of him. So close to the release you’d been needing.

“You gotta…” he panted, pulling away from you slightly, “stop making that noise. My jeans are already too tight for that.”

“I can't stop.” You groaned again. Your hands fisted his hair. He let out some guttural noise and pulled away again gasping for air. And you whined, “God, I fucking missed you.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” You whispered against his ear before pulling it between your teeth, the way you knew he liked. His whole body shuddered and he slammed your back against the wall for leverage to keep from dropping to his knees. You dropped your legs from his waist to give him a break and he pressed his freed palms against the wall beside your head.

“How are you real?” He questioned as he rested his head against your neck, gasping desperately for air.

“Maybe I’m not.” You panted out your own reply.

“Okay..” he sighed, “I gotta get to that bed.”

Hooking his arms around your thighs he lifted you back up around his waist. You cupped his face in your hands, sucking his swollen lips between yours fervently while he danced the two of you the rest of the way down the hall. The mattress took you by surprise when he dropped you onto it. Hoseok stayed standing. You watched, your tongue passing over your lips, as he stepped back and unbuttoned his shirt before untucking it from his jeans.

You wanted to scream with excitement at the sight. It was really happening, after months and months. First months of thinking he’d just abandoned you. And then the ones you’d spent trying to get him to remember you. It was about to happen, you were here again with him and everything felt somewhat normal. Felt like it had before, when it was you and him, and everything was good.

When you focused back on him you realized he’d gotten down to just his tight black underwear and you gulped at the defined bulge. Feeling impatient you stood up, grabbed his face in your hands, and kissed him hard. He whimpered when you drug your nails down his chest.

“Sit down.” You muttered into his lips, “It’s my turn.”

He sat on the end of the bed and watched you with a giant, beautiful smile on his lips. You pulled your shirt over your head and immediately his eyes were wide. With a little chuckle, feeling quite proud of yourself, you unbuttoned your shorts and dragged them down your legs. When you stood back up Hoseok had his hand on his chest.

“I can’t…” he looked at you with wonder, “I can’t breathe.”

“Please, I’m not that special.” You laughed, thinking he was joking.

He shook his head, “No..I...I don’t know.. I can’t-“

“Hoseok…” you stepped forward and grabbed his shoulders. He looked like he was having a legitimate panic attack. “Oh my god.”

He grasped at you with both hands pulling you forward by your hips. He pressed his cheek against your bare stomach and begged you, “Hold me. Hold-hold me, please.”

Hunching over you wrapped an arm tight around his shoulders, and with the other you massaged his head. “I’ve got you. You’re okay. Just breathe, I’m right here.”

It took a couple of minutes for him to stop shaking, a little longer after that for his breathing to be steady, and then he was back to normal. He threw his head back and looked up at you. He looked so embarrassed, “I swear that’s never happened before.”

“Are you okay? What happened?” You asked placing a gentle palm against his flushed cheek.

“I saw you and...it’s so cheesy...I guess you just took my breath away.” He sighed, “It was something else though. I can’t explain it right, you won’t get it. I know we just met and this is the first time I’ve ever seen you like this but there was this overwhelming… it was like flashes of you, in front of me like you were but not now, not this moment. It wasn’t deja vu. It was like memories.”

You bit your lip unsure of how to handle what was happening. No one had told you what to do if his memory started to return like this. Were you supposed to explain everything to him? Risk him having another panic attack. If he had questions you weren’t sure you’d have the answers. “Should we stop?”

“God no.” He muttered, he was looking up at you with big doe eyes. “I mean, I don’t want to stop, but if I made you uncomfortable…”

You held out your hand to him and when he took it you pulled him to his feet. You planted a kiss against his lips before dropping to your knees. His eyebrows raised in pleasant surprise. As he stood before you, you tugged his black underwear from his hips, dragging them down his legs. He was already fully erect, his tip glistening.

Moving your hands back up his legs you could feel what you thought was scarring. You wondered if he even knew it was there, how often did someone look at the backs of their own legs. Trying your best to be inconspicuous you leaned in close to his hip and left a soft kiss. From that angle, looking down, you could see the scar. It looked pink and fresh, starting at his hip and following the length of his leg all the way to his ankle.

You rested your forehead against the top of his thigh, trying to keep yourself composed. Every reminder that you could have lost him for good had a bad habit of nearly breaking your heart.

His fingers traced you jaw to your chin and he lifted your face to look at his. “Are you okay? Do you want to stop?”

You shook your head and gave him a small smile, “Hoseok...you’re so beautiful.”

He tried to play it off but you could see very clearly on his face how much he appreciated the praise. You leaned back on your heels. And ran your hands down his inner thighs. He shuddered underneath your touch. Wrapping your hand around his length you leaned forward and swirled your tongue slowly around the tip. You grinned, seeing the muscles in his abdomen clench from the small action.

After one more teasing swirl, you took him into your mouth completely. Hands gripping his hips, you looked up at him through batted lashes. His breathing was tense already, and you wondered what he was thinking about as you sucked your cheeks in. You would have never guessed how desperately he was begging himself not to explode in your mouth after only a minute of your lips wrapped around him. He didn’t know why he was so sensitive, he didn’t know it had actually been a year since the last time he’d had sex.

He palmed your cheek as you bobbed back and forth along his length. Your tongue swirling around him simultaneously and you offered the perfect amount of teeth. The slightest dragging sensation that made his eyes roll back. Professional, was all he could think to himself as he gasped helplessly above you. You watched the heave of his chest, paired with the trembling if his thighs under your hands, and you knew he was close. He closed his eyes and you though for a second this was it.

Instead he pulled his hips away from you and panted out, “Stop. Wait. Fuck.”

“Are you okay?” You asked still concerned over his reaction earlier.

“Yeah I just…” he didn't know how to, or really want to, try and explain the comedic way he was imagining his orgasm would look. Feeling like he was going to blast out like a firehose, spraying your face relentlessly. You running away terrified. Him never seeing you again.

“Hoseok?”

“Just...come here.” He said with a smile and helped pull you to your feet. He kissed across your cheek and down your neck before whispering against your earlobe, “I want to taste you.”

That was a good enough reason for you. An anticipatory groan fell from your lips with such gusto that you felt embarrassed, wishing you could somehow take it back. However, Hoseok loved how much you wanted him back. With his hands on your hips he spun you around so your legs were backed against the bed. He kissed down your neck, across your collarbone and over your shoulder. His hands moving around you for just a moment before you were released from your bra.

You wanted to say something about the ease with which he removed your bra but the dark look in his eyes as he leaned back and slipped your straps from your shoulders left you incapable of saying anything at all. Your lip trapped between your teeth as he leaned forward once more to kiss and suck at the sensitive skin. His mouth left a moist trail all the way down your abdomen to the elastic band of your lace panties. His fingers hooked onto them on both sides of your hips and he tugged until you were completely naked in front of him.

“Sit.” He commanded. You did so easily, your legs bordering on the consistency of jello as it were. He knelt down in front of the edge of the bed and m propped your knees open in front of him. You were leaning back on your elbows, watching him as he dragged his fingers along your sex and smirked, “Hey, y/n…”

“What?” You asked breathlessly.

“You’re so beautiful.” Still smirking he leaned forward and buried himself in you.

Your arms fell weak and you crashed back against the bed as he worked you with his mouth. Just the swirl and dip of his tongue, and the way his lips wrapped around your clit, it was all you needed. In just minutes you were so close. And then he slipped his finger inside of you, then suddenly it was two pressing deep and curling as he pulled them out.

“Hoseok,” you gasped, “I-“

You couldn’t speak, you could barely breathe. Not much more than a mess beneath his touch. With a whimper you reached between your legs, running your fingers through his hair. Your toes curled and your back arched against the sheets. Eyes rolling back, you gushed around his fingers and onto his lips. The sound he made as he lapped up your orgasm nearly had you coming a second time.

When he was done he moved on to the bed, between your legs, crawling up your body until your lips were clashing together. You ran your hands up his back, your fingertips tracing the muscles in his shoulders. Pulling away from your lips he shuddered and leaned back in to kiss down your neck, his lips sucking greedily at your clavicle. Goosebumps raised across your skin from the gentle way he dragged his fingers over your body.

“Please,” you begged with a gulp. It was too much. He was too much.

You opened your hips beneath him as further invitation. He pushed himself up further, to get a better look at you. He ran his hand over your cheek and dipped his tongue out over his lips. His dark bangs were hanging away from his face and when he looked at you, you could have sworn he knew you. Not just knew you today, but knew you deeper than that. It was like he knew you were his. It took every ounce of self-restraint you had in your body not to tell him then and there how much you loved him.

He reached down between your legs and keeping your eyes locked with his he fitted himself against you. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

Your head fell back as he eased inside of you, the feeling was euphoric on a hundred different levels. His forehead pressed against your neck, and tiny grunts escaped his lips. You dug your nails into skin of his shoulders and dragged them down his back.

“God...damn” he gasped before digging his teeth into your skin.

“Over.” you said against his neck.

He rolled over on the mattress, taking you with him. You pushed yourself up, sitting back against his thighs. His hair was a mess and you were sure yours was even worse off. After some slight adjustment you sunk back down onto him and satisfied with the fill you sighed and looked down at him. As your hips rounded on him you moved your hands over his chest. The dip of his collarbones, the rise of his pecs. His hands gripped your thighs so your eyes followed his arms. Fingers to strong hands, hands to tightly flexed forearms, forearms to bulging biceps, and then just his smiling face looking up at you like you were everything.

“What?” he asked as you let out a small half laugh, half moan.

You shook your head, “Nothing, it’s so stupid.”

He moved his hands up to your hips to make sure you kept your pace as he lifted his own hips up until you were gasping from the fill. “Tell me.”

“It’s just,” you blushed from embarrassment, “you’re so sexy.”

He shook with laughter beneath you and the vibrations left you whimpering. You laughed at the sensation of it and he laughed with you.

You fell forward and giggled through tiny gasps, “Stop...laughing,”

“Why?” he asked, “It feels so good.”

“I know, but I’m gonna cum, and it’s not funny.” you groaned as he chuckled again.

“You’re right,” he said and your stomach tightened at the way he dropped the smile from his face. He moved his hand between your thighs and circled his finger against your clit, “I will take your orgasms very seriously from now on.”

“Oh. Oh my god!” your eyes blew wide as you hit your second orgasm for the night, “Hoseok, fuck!”

He squeezed his eyes shut, his nose scrunched up and he bit his lip as the pulsing from your orgasm brought him to his own. Breathless and exhausted you rested against his chest. You could have fallen asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

~~~

That night you didn’t let yourself fall asleep next to Hoseok, even though a big part of you wanted to. The winning part of your mind couldn’t stop imagining how terrible the next morning would go when he woke up with a stranger in his bed. Especially after the breakdown he’d already had, you just weren’t sure how he’d handle it. So that night you made up some excuse about needing to be up early the next day and went home with just Bunho to keep you company. Then you did it again. Three more times. Three more day long dates with Hoseok that ended in some of the best sex you’d ever had in your life. Each time you ended up being too afraid to stay for fear of what might happen the next morning, despite the fact that every time he’d asked you to stay.

After the fifth daylong date you found yourself dozing off. You’d been laying with your head on his chest, and he was running his fingers over your bare skin. He’d been humming a song for a while, though you couldn’t figure out which one it was. All you knew was that it was soothing. Hitting that moment when you’re just about to truly fall asleep your eyes flew open.

“I really need to get out of here.” you sighed, pushing yourself up and out of his arms.

“What? No, why?” he asked grabbing your hand, “Stay with me, I don’t mind.”

“I can’t.” you looked over at him almost annoyed at how effortlessly handsome he was being. How effortlessly handsome he always was. “You won’t want me here in the morning.”

“Why? What happens in the morning?” he asked brushing your cheek with his thumb.

“Nothing, you’ll just change your mind.”

You sank back down onto the pillow next to his and looked over at him. You didn’t want to leave, and were less worried now that you were feeling wide awake. He placed his hand against your cheek. He locked eyes with you and you couldn’t look away. His face was so serious, the slightest pout on his pink lips. Your heart was beating impossibly fast.

“Stop.” you said gently, trying to match his calm energy.

“Stop what?” he asked raising a single eyebrow, looking almost innocent.

“Looking at me with your face.” he laughed and you felt yourself sink further into the bed at the sound. “Looking at me like you know my soul.”

“You think I don’t?” he asked seriously, quirking his head to the side slightly. “You don’t feel it?”

Tingles shot across every inch of your bare skin. “Feel what?”

“Feel like you’ve known me forever? I feel like I know you already.” he dropped his hand from where it had been cupping your face to your hand and squeezed your fingers, “Stay. Please?”

“Okay,” you agreed, “but only until you fall asleep and then I’m taking off.”

He smiled, pleased with himself, and moved his hand under the sheets. “Are you challenging me to an all nighter?”

“Hoseok!” you shrieked with laughter, feeling his fingers slip between your thighs. You shoved his shoulder but the action barely moved him.

“Come on.” he said leaning close, burying his nose in your neck, “Let me work you so hard you can’t even feel your legs. Then you’ll have to stay with me.”

You let out a half laugh, half groan. Laugh because of the way his breath tickled all the way down your throat, and groan from the feeling of his fingers slipping inside of you, slowly.

With a weak conviction you choked out, “You can try...I guess, but it won’t work.”

Hoseok’s stamina hadn’t been something you’d considered. His plan had worked and you fell asleep while you were still in his arms after the second round of the night.

Shocked was an understatement of how he felt the next morning as he woke up with his arms around you. For a moment he didn’t recognize you, he didn’t remember bringing anyone home or what he’d done the night before that could have lead him forgetting everything that brought him to this moment. A groan fell from your lips as if, even in your sleep, you could tell he wasn’t close enough anymore. You rolled over so that the two of you were face to face and your hand found his waist under the sheets. He was wide eyed and anxious, as he looked down at you, afraid you were going to wake up and he wasn’t going to know you.

Slowly and quietly, in hopes that he wouldn’t wake you, Hoseok brushed the hair away that had fallen in your face. His breath caught in his chest as he started to remember, a smile spread slowly across his face. He leaned in and pressed a kiss against the exposed skin of your neck, then another and another until you were squirming beneath him.

“What are you doing?” you groaned as his lips tickled your neck.

“I’m awake, y/n. I need attention.” he whined.

Not ready to wake up, you kept your eyes closed as you moved your hand up the warmth of his back. The sheets were so soft and his hands were so strong, gripping your hip. Everything felt so normal. Hoseok was awake and he remembered who you were.

Hoseok was awake and remembered who you were. Your eyes flew open and you sat up in bed taking in a quick gasp of air.

“What’s wrong?” Hoseok asked, “Did you forget where you were?”

Biting your lip, you looked over at him stretched out over the white bedding. Not where, you thought to yourself, but when.

“Yeah,” you smiled and laid back down, “or something like that, but just for a second.”

He hummed and slipped his arms around you, pulling you closer. “You were wrong, by the way.”

“About?” You asked, so comfortable you could have fallen back asleep.

“You said I’d change my mind about wanting you here.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.”

It hadn’t been completely intentional, but the two of you spent the rest of the day together. Most of the day was spent in bed, which you’d had few complaints about. Later in the afternoon, ever the gentleman, Hoseok drew a bath for you to enjoy while he went down the street to pick up some food. You knew he’d probably intended on you staying relaxed in the water for longer than you did but you found yourself a little too restless to stay still for too long. For a while you meandered his apartment, not really looking for anything since you’d mostly seen all of it before. Back in his bedroom you raided his drawers finding the oversized sweater you’d seen him in and a pair of boxers, which surprised you since you’d never seen him wear them before. You dressed yourself in your findings and continued to walk around the apartment as you brushed your hair with his comb.

When he finally returned he found you in the cupboard searching for something unhealthy to snack on and disappointed that there was nothing. He’d brought back...everything. Hoseok realized when he’d gotten downstairs that he had never asked what you might want, so he just went to a bunch of places and hoped that he’d gotten something you’d like. Luckily, all of it was stuff you liked. Together you took refuge on the couch and devoured nearly every bite of food he brought home. As the hours ticked by and the afternoon inched into the evening you started to worry again. Worry that you’d have to leave him soon and that if, or more likely when, you finally did he’d only forget you again. However, as your movie binging, makeout marathoning continued on his couch, he never once asked you to leave. He didn’t even suggest it. Instead, as you tucked into him, what he did was run his hand up and down your back until you’d fallen asleep on his chest.

It surprised you when Hoseok wanted to spend the next day with you as well. This time the two of you actually left the apartment. You’d gone to enjoy a late brunch. Afterwards you strolled around downtown. You stopped at several department stores to warm up but mostly you liked to go into designer boutiques and guess the prices of their ugliest pieces. Once your cheeks were permanently sore from laughing he brought you home, stopping on the way to grab dinner.

Sitting across the table from him made you sad because you realized that you couldn’t continue to spend all your time with him. This had been the longest amount of time you’d ever spent with him, even before the accident you were never really together for more than a couple hours, a day at the longest. You’d imagined you’d have gotten tired of him or he would have gotten bored of you. You thought, especially since you’d relived the beginning of your relationship a hundred times already, that he wouldn’t have anything new to offer but he kept you on your toes.

You stuffed your mouth with rice and curry, to avoid having to answer any questions about the change in your mood. You were just sad imagining being alone and worried that the second you left he would forget you and you’d have to restart this whole process over again.

When you finally told him you had to leave he looked equally sad. You knew it that it would be awhile until you could see him again. The event at your work was happening this week and you were going to be outrageously busy until it was over. You’d told him it would be at least a week until you’d be free to see him again. When you told him that he kissed you for a really long time in front of the cab he’d called for you. You were sure that if the meter wasn’t already running that the driver would have left you on the sidewalk, your mouths glued together.

He sighed when he finally pulled away, “Do you think that’s enough for a week?”

“No.” You laughed, “That’s not enough for even a day.”

“Glad you agree.” He grinned and leaned in to kiss your cheek. “We’ll just have a lot to catch up on when we see each other.”

“Coffee right?” You asked, “The cafe where we met. Sunday morning.”

“Sunday morning.” He confirmed.

“You won’t forget?”

He shook his head, “I won’t forget.”

“Hoseok,” you said in a whisper. He raised his eyebrows expectantly, “don’t forget me, okay? Promise you won’t forget me.”

“How could I ever forget you?” He laughed like it was ludicrous.

“Just, please. I know it sounds silly but will you just promise me?” you basically begged.

“Hey…” he cupped your cheeks in his hands and smiled brightly, “I promise, I will not forget you.”

~~~

Preparing for your work event was excruciating. It would have been regardless but it was more so because you spent every second you weren’t thinking about work thinking about Hoseok and whether or not he’d forgotten you yet. You’d removed your number from his phone before you’d left him, just in case, so if he’d wanted to get a hold of you he couldn’t. With barely a second to even eat or shower between preparations you definitely didn’t have a minute to contact Minhyuk to find out if he knew anything about Hoseok’s current memory status.

Saturday night, after the last guest left the event, the caterers drove off with their equipment, and the tables and chairs had been stacked and made ready to be picked up in the morning your shoulders finally fell with some relief. You’d been slightly worried you still wouldn’t be able to sleep before your meeting with Hoseok in the morning but your head crashed down on your pillow before you’d even taken off your heels.

The cafe was busy for a sunday morning but you’d gotten there early and grabbed a coffee and a table. Hoseok was right on time, he looked amazing and there was nothing more you wanted to do than to kiss him but you waited instead. Waited to see what he would do when he saw you, because he always came to this cafe and him being here didn’t necessarily mean anything. For a blink you thought he was looking at you but you couldn’t be sure, and he walked passed your table to the counter without a word.

You watched out of the corner of your eye as he turned around a few minutes later, coffee in hand. It looked for a moment like he was headed straight for your table but instead he moved just passed it. He sat at a table across from you and opened his book, not unlike he had done a dozen times before. When he caught you looking at him he smiled kindly, which he’d also done plenty. You were becoming more and more certain that he’d forgotten you, like he’d definitely done before.

Feeling a little heartbroken your shoulders slumped. Part of you wondered if it was all the way back to square one, which meant hopelessness. Or, you wondered, maybe if you just spent every single moment together for the rest of your lives he’d be able to remember you. The thought alone was exhausting, but a big part of you thought you could manage it.

“I hate to bother you,” you looked up to see his smiling face, coffee in one hand and a book in the other, “but can I use that chair or are you waiting for someone?”

“Oh, go ahead, I’m not using it.”

You expected him to drag the chair away, like people usually did when they asked to use chairs, instead he sat down on the seat and placed his coffee on the table. He crossed one leg over the other before opening his book.

He grinned over at your confused face, “Sorry, I just felt like it was selfish for us to be using up two tables when we can just share this one. I won’t bother you.”

Unsure what to say you looked down at your book. You read nothing, you couldn’t focus long enough to comprehend the words. Sniffing with eyes brimmed with tears you were trying desperately not to cry out of frustration. You just wanted to stand up, grab his shoulders, and scream Remember Me!

“Rough story?” He asked.

You looked back up at him, “What?”

“I know I said I wouldn’t bother you but,” he nodded towards your book, “you look upset, pretty emotional story?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, “it’s devastating. Might be the worst love story of all time.”

“Why read it then?”

“I can’t seem to let it go, no matter how much it hurts.” You wiped your cheek and looked back down at the book.

The table fell into a comfortable silence, and you were able to calm yourself enough that you didn’t feel on the edge of an emotional breakdown. You hadn’t noticed, but Hoseok hadn’t looked back at his book. Not once. He’d been too preoccupied watching you.

After quite some time he finally leaned forward, planting his elbows on the table. “Y/n, can I ask you a question.”

“Of course.” You said looking up at him expectantly.

He looked almost sad, “Who hurt you?”

You leaned back, feeling slightly attacked by the question. “Excuse me?”

“Who hurt you?” He repeated.

Suddenly your brain seemed to start working again and your eyes went wide, “You said my name.”

“I can’t believe you really thought I’d forgotten you!” He exclaimed in disbelief, “What person on this planet made you feel so forgettable because I have a few choice words for them.”

This time you were really going to cry, but you had to keep it together. You wouldn’t just be able to explain to him why it meant so much to you that he remembered who you were. At least, you thought, you couldn’t do it without Minhyuk. He watched fascinated by how every part of you lifted and brightened in just the blink of an eye.

“You really remember me?” You asked.

“Well, I did promise you I would, didn't I?” He smirked over at you.

You bit your lip, “Tell me what you remember about me.”

He laughed and then realized you were being serious. “That’s such a weird request.”

“Please?”

“I remember a lot about you.” he looked you over for a second and dragged his bottom lip between his teeth, causing an instant blush to cross your cheeks, “like how soft your hips felt, especially when you had just gotten out of the bath. I remember how cute you looked in my sweater, and how you look even cuter when you stuff your cheeks with rice. I remember the way your hair smelled when you fell asleep on my chest. The way you taste, I remember the way all of you tastes.”

“Oh.” You let out a soft breath, not having expected that answer. He laughed at how immobile you seemed.

“I also remember that work project you had that kept us apart all week. How’d that go?”

He remembered you. So many thoughts rushed through your head, so many feelings and you felt incapable of expressing any of them properly. Instead you told him all about your hellish week before asking him about his and then making plans to spend the day together.

~~~

Minhyuk had been so thrilled by your news about Hoseok that he’d dropped the three hundred dollar bottle of tequila he’d been holding. He grabbed your face and kissed you right on the mouth he was so happy and all you could do was laugh because you knew the feeling well. The two of you discussed for a long while the best way to tell Hoseok about everything, deciding ultimately to wait until you knew for sure his memory lasting wasn’t a fluke. The decision had been Minhyuk’s. It had surprised you at first, until he explained that he’d already had to remind his best friend of the accident hundreds of times before and it never got any easier. He wanted to make sure this time it lasted.

You’d told Minhyuk to take his time, that the time of the reveal would be up to him. You had felt bad at first. It felt like you were lying to Hoseok whenever you were with him. Keeping a secret that affected him so deeply. Then weeks had passed and you found yourself too distracted by life with Hoseok. It had been three years. Three years of his demanding hands all over your body. His desperate and needy late night requests for your attention. Never spending more than a day together, rarely spending time overnight. Dates hadn’t been called dates, it was just hanging out. You had never been his girlfriend and he wasn’t your boyfriend. This time with him was different, it was better. It was date night’s and entire weekends together. And when Hoseok told you he wanted you meet Minhyuk and you asked him why he said it was because he thought it was important that his best friend and his girlfriend got along.

After a delicious dinner at the restaurant and probably already too many drinks the three of you went back to Hoseok’s for more drinking and hanging out.

He’d been so affectionate all night. Holding your hand, kissing your shoulder, always making sure that you were comfortable and having a good time. Back at his place he’d grabbed your hand and led you over to the couch, he crashed down onto the cushions and pulled you onto his lap, “This has been the best day. Might as well be my birthday.”

“I’m glad you’re so happy, Hoseok.” You said before pressing a kiss against his cheek.

He looked over at Minhyuk who had walked over slowly, thoughtfully, “I’m glad you two get along. I hadn’t really been worried, but it was important to me.”

Min smiled at Hoseok and then looked over at you, “I think we should do it now.”

Hoseok looked between the two of you slightly confused, you leaned in and kissed his cheek once more before standing up from his lap. You weren’t sure where to go, you’d wanted to give him space but you also wanted to be there for him at the same time. Minhyuk sat beside him on the couch. Hoseok reached out, solving your dilemma for you by grabbing your hand, you weren’t going anywhere. You sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of him.

“What’s going on? Why does it feel so serious?” he looked over at you, he seemed almost scared so you squeezed his hand.

“Hoseok,” Minhyuk took a deep breath and exhaled, “You were in a bad accident.”

It was crushing to watch the myriad of feelings that crossed his face as Minhyuk went over all of the details of his accident, and then his recovery. He was so hurt, scared, and confused by all of it and what it meant. Tears fell down his cheeks as Minhyuk showed him pictures of his demolished car. Pictures of him bandaged and broken in the hospital bed during his coma. The stitches that had been taken out long ago and scars that were now hidden underneath the hair that had grown back. The x-rays of the plate in his leg. He squeezed your hand tightly through every step of the timeline. Finally nearing the end there were pictures of him after he’d woken up, when he was going through physical therapy. Your heart went out to Minhyuk who had retold Hoseok about his accident every single morning when he’d had panic attacks from waking up in the hospital.

“...up until a few weeks ago you’d had short term memory loss.” Minhyuk had finished telling him almost everything he needed to know. “Since it finally seems like your memory might be sticking we thought it was time to tell you what happened again.”

For the first time in almost an hour he dropped your hand. He ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh before looking over at you, “We didn’t just meet, did we?”

“We did, it just wasn’t for the first time.” you said in barely a whisper as Minhyuk handed him his old phone.

His forehead scrunched in confusion as he quietly scrolled through the photos on the phone, “Were we dating...before the accident?”

“Sort of. I’m starting to think we made it more complicated than it needed to be.”

“This was over years. We’ve been together for years.” he looked up at you expectantly. “Are we in love?”

“I think so.” you wiped a stray tear from your cheek, “We’ve never said it to each other but I think we are.”

The table vibrated as your leg bounced anxiously. You watched Hoseok scroll through the conversations on his phone. He spent a long time on the one he’d shared with you. It looked like he’d tried scrolling all the way back to the beginning of the conversation before reading it all out. He stared at the phone so long without moving the screen went black and he just kept staring. Finally he dropped the phone on the couch between him and Minhyuk. When he looked up at you his lips were trembling. You knew he was about to cry and you didn’t know what to say.

“Hoseok-” you started.

“You were so mad at me.” he said cutting you off.

“I didn’t know. I never would have said any of that if I’d known. I swear.”

He slipped down off of the couch in front of you and dropped his head in your lap. His arms wrapped around your waist and you could feel him crying. You looked at Minhyuk wide-eyed, unsure of what was happening, hoping he’d have something to offer but he only shrugged. You rubbed your hand over his back gently.

“I’m so sorry.” he mumbled into your lap.

Still confused and concerned you continued to rub his back, “Wait, why are you apologizing?”

“I hurt you so much. I’m so sorry.” he said as he cried even harder.

“Oh, Hoseok. No, it wasn’t your fault.”

He tightened his arms around you, pulling you closer. His face pressed against your stomach. “I almost lost you forever.”

You hunched over him awkwardly wrapping him up in a hug, “No, baby. You would have found me. You always find me.”

Minhyuk leaned back against the couch with a small smile on his face, “Physically, he is stronger than steel. Emotionally, a baby bunny.”

“Don’t listen to him.” You whispered against the top of Hoseok's head. He just squeezed you tighter.

~~~

“I can’t believe you cheated on me.” Hoseok said dropping his keys on the counter.

It had been a few weeks since you’d told him about the accident, and he’d been getting memories back ever since. Minhyuk and you told him all of the really big events that he’d forgotten and that seemed to open the gates as the rest of his memories came flooding back. More and more every day. Some of them were beneficial. Some of them, you were finding were just embarrassing for you, which Hoseok loved.

“What are you talking about?” you nearly shrieked, hanging up both of your coats on the rack.

He turned around and looked at you with raised eyebrows, “Don’t try and tell me you weren’t with other guys the entire year we were apart. You even told me you were going to sleep with that guy you were on a date with.”

“You remember that?” you asked surprised, “I barely even remembered Loey.”

“Too many notches on your bedpost?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and the tiniest smirk.

“Hoseok…”

“I however was not with anyone else,” he yelled dramatically throwing his arms in the air, “because I was in a coma!”

“It’s not funny.” you frowned, “If I could go back…”

“Yeooooosin.” he sang, pulling you into a hug. He kissed your neck in quick little pecks until you were laughing in his arms, “I’m just kidding.”

You ran your hands up his back and over his broad shoulders, squeezing him tight, “I don’t like that joke.”

He leaned back and kissed your forehead. “Okay, I’ll think of a new one.”

You hummed, with a purse of your lips at him and went into the living room where you plopped onto the couch and waited for your very attention needy boyfriend. When he finally arrived he was carrying wine glasses and a smile on his face.

“I also can’t believe you stuck it out with me. That must have been so hard. Why did you do it? For months and months.”

You looked over at him, accepting the wine glass, and laughed to yourself. “Isn’t it obvious? You have a really hot body and a lot of money.”

He clicked his tongue in annoyance, “Just confess that you love me.”

“Never.”

“Well I can’t until you do. So I guess we’re just at a standstill.” He pouted.

You took a quick gulp of wine before placing it on the coffee table. He came around, set his glass next to yours and stretched out on the couch, laying his head in your lap.

“I keep waiting for you to kick me out.” you said quietly, running your hand through his hair.

“Why would I ever kick you out? Why would I ever want this to end?”

“You have your memories back now. I figured it’s only a matter of time until you remember that we were never really like this before, and how you don’t really want to be couple-y with me.”

Hoseok popped up from your lap, and stared at you from the other side of the couch, “Yeah… I have my memory back, which means I remember you never wanted to be in a relationship with me.”

You scoffed at the accusation.” Hoseok, you said you didn’t want to really date because you were so busy with work all the time and you felt it would be unfair.”

“I only ever said that because you always told me not to get confused about what we were doing with each other.”

“Hoseok!” you practically screamed, eyes wide in shock, “I said that because I wanted you to think I was still just a chill, down girl, like I was when we met. Then, I don’t know, you made me want more. I didn’t want to scare you off with all my feelings or by being too clingy!”

“Y/n! Are you kidding me?” he screamed back in frustration.

You watched as he jumped from the couch and stormed out of the living room. As you waited you stood up, this felt like a fight and you felt too vulnerable sitting down.

He stomped back into the room with a low growl, and a small black box in his hand. “I have been in love with you forever, you idiot. I just kept waiting for you to finally get to where I was so I could tell you. Waiting for you to love me back so I could give you this!”

Your eyes went wide and your body tensed as he went to open the box but you relaxed at the sight of the brand new silver key. “Is that a house key?!”

“Yes! I love you and I want you to live with me!” you’d yelled at him so he felt it was only appropriate to yell back.

“What the hell? I’ve loved you for so long! You thought I would just hang out here for months when you didn’t even know who I was because I just wanted to be fuck buddies again?!”

“No!” he shouted, albeit confused, “Why are we yelling!”

You threw your hands up, “I don’t know!”

“You started it!”

“Yeah, because I love you!”

“Well I love you too!” he yelled one last time and then smiled, “...so come here and kiss me already.”

He closed the box with the key and tossed it onto the table as you moved towards him, throwing your arms around his shoulders and meeting his lips with yours.

You smiled against the kiss and mumbled, “You’re so stupid.”

“And yet you’re the one who loves me.” he mumbled back. He sat back down on the couch, taking you with him. Your knees landed on either side of him as you sat on his lap, and leaned into the kiss. He let the kiss go on for some time before pulling away, “I love you, seriously. Be my girlfriend?”

“I was already your girlfriend.” you laughed, moving back into the kiss.

He pulled away again and you groaned, “And move in with me?”

“Obviously! Yes.” you landed the smallest kiss on his lips before he pulled away again, “Jesus! What?”

“Marry me?” he grinned.

Your eyes blew wide and you slapped his shoulder, “Hoseok!”

“Yeah, you’re right, too soon. We should date for awhile. Maybe move your stuff in first, and then I’ll try again.” he reasoned.

He caught your eyes with his and you knew he was playing his game, his battle of the wills. His face mostly neutral except for the pout that accentuated his lips and the clear amusement that glistened in his eyes as he waited for you to crumble.

Dragging your teeth across your bottom lip you grinned, “Ask me again then. When I’m all moved in, and we’re laying in our bed. I’ll have my head on your chest and you’ll be doing that thing where you drag your fingertips over my back. Ask me like that.”

His eyes scanned yours for a long while after you’d stopped talking as he tried to figure out if you were serious. Then, as if he’d been replaying the words over in his head until he finally believed them, he turned his face away. Breaking contact because the joy he’d felt looking at you had become too overwhelming.

With a small laugh you leaned forward and kissed his exposed neck before resting your head on his shoulder. “I win.”

He hummed in agreement, “Yeah, but I win too.”

#Wonho scenario #Wonho smut #Monsta x scenario #Monsta x smut #Kpop scenario #Kpop smut #Happy Birthday Sara!#Did you even like this?#Thats all I care about is that you like it #sooo.. god I hope you like it.#It's so much

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smells-like-ink-and-fire · 4 years ago

Text

Innocence died screaming, honey I should know

Here’s the thing: For all his talk of Gotham being a life-sucking, happiness draining shithole, leaving it had never been truly an option on Jason’s mind. It was his shithole of a city goddammit, the grim dirt streets he would die on. It was his home, the blood on his veins. This city had its claws deep into him, and leaving, especially leaving never to return, had been simply impossible, did not compute to him.

Especially now, that Jason was getting along better with the Bats these days. He still didn’t, and never would agree with Bruce regarding his no-killing rule. But things were better, or at least he thought they were. His presence was expected and even accepted. There were some awkwardness and silent nobody knew how to fill, but there were also jokes and eating junk food together after patrol. Sure, there were a lot of snippy comments but he made those too, gave as good as he got, and Bruce still didn’t quite trust him, not to the extent he did with the other, though that was just a given, he had made peace with it, he still killed, after all, a little suspicion was an acceptable price to pay for it.

Self-righteous, holier than thou bat.

Still, there was an uneasiness on his chest whenever the pointed looks got too much when they would start questioning his actions and his plans like he hadn’t been trained by the world's greatest detective like the rest of them and League of Shadows on top of that. Forgetting that Jason had effectively taken control of the East End in less than two months, and without any of them noticing.

The good parts didn’t lessen the rage-hurt out when Barbara sneered at him, acting like he couldn’t be trusted in the field, like the fact he had issues, that he cared about the victims because he had been one made him incapable of being rational, turned him into something that was eternally compromised. Like he was a mindless raging monster, who would shoot to kill at mere provocation.

He had been, once, fresh out of those green waters, traumatized, angry, afraid, and replaced. He had been a child, too, didn’t that count for something?

Their veiled accusations of insanity, that he had a problem, that needed to be handled like he was a fucking dog, the angry gremlin claims that he was unhinged and the only reason that they kept him around was to keep an eye on him, it all made Jason feel queasy, made him feel less than human.

It made him wonder how truly welcome he was. Was he welcome or they were just trying to appease their guilt and keep a loose cannon from the streets?

But there were undoubtedly good things too. Moments that made it worth it. His relationship with Steph and Duke, and surprisingly, Replacement was getting better, even though the first two were not around as much as he would like. The nights they had spent chewing off some of the undoubtedly brilliant but assholes teachers while demolishing mountains of homework had been fun, and Replacement-Tim was quite a sass master, now only if he could convince the kid to take a step back from WE so that he wouldn’t have a heart attack before he could drink legally.

Replacement, however, was why he was here. Here being diner on the border of the Bowery and Robinsonville, The Raging Duck, a new place that Golden Boy wanted to try, make a family bonding experience out of it, Jason was sure. Replacement had twisted his way around with words in a shape that made it impossible for him not to come. His saving grace was that Jason had already made clear that he couldn’t stay long, under the pretext of having to verify that month payments collection from the Bowery.

Which was goddammed good thing because this whole outing had been a mistake. The last couple weeks had been rough, with the stress of studying and writing applications for his master degree, the couple of murders that almost led to a gang war between the Falcone and the Russians, plus a decoy staged by the Riddler, as his newest scape plan, that had taken too long to crack leading to an accident that had killed three people and would have killed a lot more if Jason hadn’t said fuck and put bullet holes on some goons heads. This in turn led to an inevitable argument because of Batman's continuous incapacity to see the necessity of his actions while on some level recognizing that was the only poss0ible decision meant that tension had been higher than usual.

Therefore, putting everybody in a room together was definitely not the best idea, Dickie! The last ten minutes certainly proved so, what had started as an easy-going conversation about their early on mishaps of the field, which included a hefty number of stories where the main theme was “And then I said Fuck Batman – With varying degrees of success” that had started as a split-second change of subject in order to avoid a fight breaking out, had turned into passive-aggressive attacking Jason. The worst part was that Jason wasn’t even sure they were doing on purpose.

Did the even realize he was sitting right next to them? Or was he just a ghost?

“… and then the fantastic Robin fell three stores down only to be needed to be saved by the incredible Spoiler! So, listen to me kids, if you’re going to say fuck Batman you should at least be sure there is something to break your fall before you jump.” - Steph finished the story with a flourish, going back to her waffles.

“That was a level of stupidity that I wasn’t aware that you were capable of Replacement. Really, I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.

“Please, as if you weren’t the first one to ignore an order just to fuck with B, Jason. There’s a list. The Incident with the Falcone. Killer Crock latest scape. The entire shit show that was last week. – Tim shot back, mulish, poking at his fries

And every single of those missions was a raging success.

“Which is the one involving Babs, back when she was still BG, you know the one she always mentions, because I don’t know what you did dude but she’s still pissed at you for it.”

“Oh, I know! Bruce forced them to work together on that one, it was a drug-smuggling operation that involved kids. Jason jumped in instead of waiting for her signal. Needless to say, it did not end up well. Babs was so very pissed.”

Yeah for the assholes that thought using kids as drug mules was a good idea. BG was just made the street rat had a better plan than her

“Is that why warehouse 25F is a gory, burned-out mess?”

“Nah, that came later, during that corruption case that nearly put the Comish in the hospital. Or maybe it was the one involving that Nazi Arts dealer?”

“Is there a difference? They always end up in unnecessary explosions. Todd’s need for dramatics and overuse of force are well documented”

Because you can talk about overuse of force, demon spawn.

“Robin. Less explosions. Trying to help. Hurt.”

“Yeah, he was trying to help Cass, nobody is denying that the thing is Jason desire to be a little shit and prove Batman wrong is way stronger than his drive to help people, and even though there were far less explosions back then, both he and innocent people have gotten hurt.”

How you’d know? You weren’t around back then Dickface.

“So, we can agree that it’s basically a Pavlovian response for him at this point. Your stubbornness and desire to say Fuck Batman no matter the consequences have been able to surpass death Jason, and if that it’s not a feat, I don’t know what is. Congratulations, really!” – Steph summarized.

He had been holding up fine until that point but he just didn’t have the strength to it anymore, every word out it Tim's mouth felt like the blow of crowbar shattering his ribs, chocking on his own blood because a Batarang slashed his throat. He felt faint. He felt dangerously close to crying.

“I have to go.” – Jason got out of his chair.

“Jason…” – The pitying and yet reproachful note on Dick’s voice made his skin crawl.

“I said I couldn’t stay very long. Some of us have stuff to do. You know criminal empires to run, places to blow up, kneecaps to shoot.” – He doped a twenties bill on the table.

“Todd. Cease being childish. Just because you are unable to accept your failures, and the fact that you were incompetent and arrogant enough to be captured by an enemy does not mean you should incapable of accepting constructive criticism.”

“Not being childish gremlin. I do have a criminal empire to run. And I do take constructive criticism, preferably from people who know what the hell they are talking about. You know people that are more than the “blood sons” of people that are greater than themselves. Noise midgets, not so much. Bye.” – Jason out of the dinner before any of them can reply.

See you never again.

He doesn’t know how he gets back to his closest safe house. It’s a reasonably good one. He likes this one. He focusses on the things he likes. Hardwood floor. The light green paint. On the things, he doesn’t. The shitty heating. The fact that the cabinets doors don’t shut all the way.

Breaths. Slowly. In and Out. Counts to three hundred. Breaths again.

The tears still prickle on his eyes. His chest feels hollow. His throat is dry. He doesn’t have the strength to move from where he’s sat on the floor, his back against the door. Going a few rounds with Deathstroke had hurt less. It certainly never made him want to crawl under his bed and stay there until the world forget he existed. Of course, Slade had also never blamed for his own death.

Even though his own father had. Reckless, overly aggressive, incapable of following orders, loud-mouthed Robin that got what he deserved, Bruce had said. Maybe not to his face but he had said it. Then again it had been his fault, hadn’t it?

He takes a few more breaths, tries to push his emotions back, locking them deep, and walks to the fridge, pours himself a glass of water. Drinks it. His mind goes back to the conversation. The glass shatters in his hand.

“Oh, fuck!”

He goes to the sink, to clean his hands and throws the broken glass into the trash. Lucky there were only some minor cuts that don’t need stitches even if they hurt like a bitch.

Take that universe!

Still, he wraps them in bandages since he doesn’t fancy cleaning blood out of his sheets. Sleep, however, doesn’t come easily that night, and the time he doesn’t spend tossing and turning, trying to find a comfortable position to follow to try to fall back asleep in, he spends waking up from dreams that leave him feeling like he’s constantly falling, sharp terror waking him each and every time.

There is no rest for the wicked though, and so he takes off by late morning and goes to check o on the rest of the gang, makes sure Antony is running things smoothly. All in all, it’s pretty boring, with enough paperwork to make a bonfire, but it does the job of taking his mind out the things for a while. Patrol is uneventful, which is a welcome respite, and Jason doesn’t do much more than stop a few muggings and beating up some creeps.

During that time, he keeps an ear out for the bats, especially Dick since he’s not anywhere near the mood to listen to another of the boy wonder lectures about how “Damian is just a child; you shouldn’t take what he says seriously”, especially those came with the addition of being delivered in that tone that screamed, “even though he’s right”. But he must have gone back to his turf because he sees no hair nor hide of him or any of the others.

The next two nights are very much a repetition of that first one, with little sleep and little action, so much so that a paranoid and exhausted part of him gets a bit terrified and so he ends up calling Roy just to hear the genius talk about whatever crazy project he’s been working on lately. If the redhead has any idea why Jason is calling him at four in the morning, he doesn’t comment on it and simply talks until his friend's breath has even out.

This way when the sun comes up the next day, Jason drags himself out of bed and heads straight to the shower, the cold water helps ground him back into his body. Still feeling like shit but at least knowing the difference between dream and reality he eats his breakfast while checking his messages and it’s more than a little bit shocked to see a text from Bruce asking, as in there is an actual please in it if they can talk about a possible case with a few crossed wires. There’s even an invitation to stay for dinner alongside with it, which makes him wonder if Bruce hit his head a little too hard the other day, or if Alfred finally made good on his promise of finding a drug that made him less emotionally stunned.

No matter the cause, the message leaves him hopeful enough that he answers with a yeah, I’ll be there by five.

He arrives at the Manor door fifteen minutes past five, just in case, greeting Alfred with a smile that the old butler easily returns. They make some small talk as the older man demands him to at least drink a cup of tea before heading down. Still, they part at the entrance of the cave and Jason takes those final steps alone.

“Sup, old man?”

“Jason.” – Bruce answers, his back turned, typing at the bat computer, probably filling some reports.

“C’mon B, you’re the one who called me unless of course, you somehow have been possessed and that please was you asking for help, in which case, give me a second and let me call the Martian Manhunter, you gotta give a bit more of information.” – Jason kept his gaze on Bruce’s back, his breath steady, he was not rambling thank you very much!

“There been some talk about an escort service in Diamond District that works as a front from money laundering. I think you might know some of the girls.”

“Little bit out of my way. Maybe you should check with Cat.”

Bruce’s eyes were shining, and the line of his mouth meant that he was finding it funny and Jason was filed to the brim with a wave of warmth and nostalgia. It made him feel like a kid again, it made him like Robin again, like magic.

“Maybe we should.”

“Oh gross! Let’s go back to the ever-existing cases of corruption and gross old man please?”

“Isabella McGarvey”

“Know the surname. Any relation to Ophelia McGarvey?”

"Her older sister I believe, records show that she moved from the East Side two years ago but didn’t take her sister with her because she was a minor…"

Most of the afternoon passed that way. With the Batman and the Red Hood checking financial records, discussing disappearances and police reports in an amiable tone, full of teasing. It was a welcome change of pace being the one providing the answers to all-knowing Batman for once. So, he took his time explaining the inner workings and the shady dealings of the Alley, preening at the attention and the approval, something he would deny until his second dying day.

Perhaps the only dark spot in the otherwise bright day was the fact that Jason kept purposely having to avoid looking at the southeast corner of the cave, at the glass cage that seemed to hover over them.

Refusing to acknowledge that some part of Bruce would always believe he was dead

“There maybe be a loose end might be worth exploiting but I don’t know how long that window would be open: There was a shooting, a few days ago, near the Bowery and Robinsonville, no cameras, three dead, the assailant left no evidence behind.”

“Don’t know what to tell you Bats, last time I was there I was with your kids, didn’t hear anything, neither did mine. I mean, I could ask but this is Gotham, murders are pretty much the norm. Unless those guys are part of something bigger, I got you nothing.” - Jason shrugged, already calculating the possibilities of why this is relevant and coming out with nothing.

Damn all-knowing paranoid bat.

“They were. Trafficking ring. Middleman.”

“There is no trafficking ring in the Alley”.

Of that he’s certain.

“There is not. Because those men were killed before they could take anyone. But they were known for it, and they were asking the sort of questions that could ping on your radar.”

“Well, I haven’t heard anything. I’ll make sure to pay more attention, update some protocols.” – Jason answered, already planning to investigate it.

If they were acting as a middleman for someone roaming around then that someone would send more to scoop the territory out and he would be prepared when they came, regardless of what else could be there. There were no trafficking rings in Alley.

“Or maybe you did and decided to take care of it your own terms”

The abruptness of the question was so earth-shattering that he took a few steps back to regain his balance.

“Jesus Christ Bruce if are gonna accuse me of murder you could at least have the decency of start with that. No, I did not kill them. If any of mine did I haven’t heard of it. But as far as I’m concerned is no great loss.” - He succeeds at sounding nonchalant and enraged, hiding the fact that the question felt like a bucket of water, leaving his cold and shaking.

So, this is why Bruce actually called, so he could question Jason about his latest failure, his latest disappointment in Bruce’s eyes. Of course, it was, and he was a fool for ever thinking otherwise. For letting himself hope that Bruce was trying, that he wanted to rekindle the relationship they had when Jason still wore those green panties.

“Where were you at 2:30 in the morning, three nights ago?”

“What?”

Please god, everything but this. I can’t do this again

“At the time of the murder, where were you?

“In a dinner with your kids.” – Jason’s voice was nothing more than a whisper as if all the air had been pushed out of his lungs.

Why you don’t believe me? Why you don’t trust me?

“Damian said you left early, earlier than that, because he got home at 3:00. It takes at least half an hour to get here from there.

“Safehouse a few blocks away, then. Sleeping. Bruce, please”. – Jason was begging now, voice raw and full of hurt.

“Can you prove that?”

"The hell is wrong with you?!? I already told you: I. DID. NOT. KILL. THEM. When have I ever not taken credit for the people I’ve killed?"

“What’s going on?”

And of course, because his luck could not be worse, that was the Perfect Grayson coming down the stairs. He could feel the headache forming behind his eyes. He did not want to deal with this shit right now.

Was it too much to ask for the ground swallow him whole?

“Nothing! Bruce’s just spent the last five minutes pointlessly accusing of murder! Can you get the fuck out so we can continue discussing it?”

“You were near the scene of the crime, you have a motive, the means, and a history.”

“Wait you killed someone?”

“No! Keep up, Bruce is just being a dick, you know like you usually are.”

“Is a valid concern”

“Is a piece of shit that is what it is!”

“Can someone please explain?”

“Bruce thinks I killed three people after I left the dinner the other day.”

That what you did after you left? It’s that what you meant by shooting kneecaps? Jay… I know that you were angry but this…

“Jesus Fucking Christ Didn’t I just say its bullshit?”

“You said that?”

“It was a joke”

“You have motive, means, no alibi and now your brother is telling me that you left because you needed to shoot someone. What do you want me to believe?”

“THAT I WOULDN’T LIE ABOUT IT!”

“If you were planning only to main them, if your anger got the better out you, as it has before if you did it out impulse, and is trying yo hide it.”

“You know what Bruce? You’ve already made up your mind so I will do us all a favor and get myself out. You can’t trust me? Well, I can’t trust you. From now on there will be no bats at the East End. If you are seen, you will be shot. That’s how trigger happy I fucking am!”

He pushed passed Dick and Bruce, the world was tingled with pit green glow, his ears were roaring, no sound, only rage, and loss. Every step he took was calculated, his breath was short, measured. A of violence ready to blow up at the mere provocation held together only by the barest threads of sanity and humanity and the training Ducra had given him. Roy’s voice babbling at him. Kori’s booming laughter. Kyle ridiculous art. Donna’s everlasting sass and warmth.

Somehow, someway he made home without turning Gotham into a bloodbath, and the relative he felt at activating the security protocol was fastly overtaken by fear. He hadn’t had an attack like that in over three months. Hadn’t let the Pit burning so strong in his veins in so long. Hadn’t felt that disconnection to reality since his early days out of the Pit.

Just the idea of what could have happened in case he lost control made Jason grab the nearest bucket and puke. He stayed there, pressing the palm of hinds to his eyes, heaving.

It didn’t matter, because it didn’t happen.

His phone rang, and if it was anybody else calling, he let go straight to voicemail, but it was Talia’s ringtone and she didn't call jus for kicks, so he presses answer.

“If I told you I didn’t kill a man would you believe me?” – Jason blurts out before he can stop himself, red coloring his cheeks as he realizes what he just said, cursing himself for his stupidity.

“Of course. Why would…I see.” – Talia’s face goes from neutral to confusion and finally anger in a matter of seconds. – “Your father does not know you at all Habibi, and that, rest assured, is entirely his fault. He’s too caught up in the image he made of you to be able to see you as truly are.”

“Batman being a stunned idiot, who can look past his own reasoning of the world? What an earthshattering idea T! – Jason says sarcastically trying to cover up his earlier emotional outburst. - Anyway, got a reason for calling?

“Do not play coy with me, Jason, it’s unbecoming. Regardless, I do not believe Gotham has done you good. Moreover, I do not believe your father's actions towards you have been in any way helpful to your recovery and growth.”

“What are you? My therapist?”

“I would not be against for you to see one, but I would not force you either. Your choices, as always, must be your own. Besides is my understanding that to be effective therapy must also involve privacy. Another thing that its unlikely to come by if you are to remain here.

“Gotham needs me. The Alley needs me, God knows the Bat can’t handle this shit, they don’t care and even if they did the Alley would never trust them” – It wasn’t as much a rebuttal as it was an excuse

“They do, but you are of no use to them if you are constantly emotionally compromised by the rash and thoughtless actions of those who do not understand you and do not seek to. Loyalty is a gift that must be not be given lightly and they make ill use of yours while reaping the benefits of it. Perhaps it’s time for them to learn how to much you do for them. The absence does make the heart grow fonder.”

“You’re telling me to leave.”

“I’m telling take a step back. You’ve done tremendous work, but there’s more to you then violence. The petty criminals and drug dealers and the pimps are all properly terrified, your minions are capable enough that they can keep your operation running without your direct involvement. Rest. Recover. Come back when you are ready. Besides, you do have your master’s degree to consider, don’t you?” - Jason blushed, Talia wasn’t one to give compliments that she didn’t mean, and she did have a point, but…

But what? What did he truly have here? It had taken less than ten minutes for Dick convince Bruce, based on nothing more than a few throw away words Jason had said when he was angry and hurting, that Jason had killed a man and once that decision had been made no amount of evidence would make Bruce turn around in his favor. The others probably already knew what had happened and just as likely had decided to stay away from him from now on. After all, if he couldn’t take a little teasing without blasting someone’s brains out then he was certainly no better than the crazies in Arkham, to them.

What Talia was offering has the peace of taking a walk without being judged by the path he chooses to walk on, let the dust stele until bygones were bygones and he could look at Dick’s- Holier-Than-Thou face without breaking every single bone in it.

What did he have to lose that he couldn’t take back later on?

“You do realize that this will take quite a bit of work and resources, right? – Jason could almost see that pleased little smile of hers spread on Talia’s face.

“You do realize who you are speaking with don’t you Habibi? Let’s get to work.

#first chapter #Criminal Minds #Jason Todd #fanfic #Im so nervous #Go check on AO3'#Im sorry for the delay #Spoiler: Jason is a Sad Boy in this #But he'll get better #Xover #Spencer Reid shows up in the next chapter #Worry not #im very proud of myself #ive written

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