#i keep trying to let go but i can’t
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How I envision their dynamic

#elden ring#white mask varre#varre#sir ansbach#one sided rivalry#Varré wouldn’t let his jealousy get in the way of the dynasty’s goals#but he still covets Mohg’s favour#I think he takes it upon himself to ensure that his fellow dynasts keep the bigger picture in mind#it probably pisses him off that he can’t find fault with ansbach in particular#ansbach KNOWS that there’s something going on but won’t address it since it’d just make things worse#they both cooperate because they recognise that they have a common cause (the one trait they share is being a team player)#my crackpot theory is that Varré is trying to replace Ansbach by making you a pureblood knight
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wade wilson body worship. can anyone hear me
#he makes one too many self deprecating jokes about the way he looks and Logan is like ‘alright enough of that’#drops everything and TAKES HIS TIME showing that silly little shit just how hot Logan thinks he is#of course Wade would just keep cracking jokes - trying to deflect#because Logan is being so gentle with him and looking at him Like That and holy fuck it’s making him feel way too much#and Logan is eventually like ‘hey. just shut the fuck up and pay attention’#bc he is notttt letting Wade go until he gets it through his thick skull that Logan genuinely finds him desirable#idk#i can’t stop thinking about it#i just think he deserves to be taken care of and told he’s a whole goddamn snack#because HE IS#poolverine#wade wilson#deadclaws
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Prompt 264
Danny squints at his tiny hands, eyes narrowing as Clockwork hums in the kitchen. Which he wasn’t even aware of having been in LongNow. Maybe it wasn’t. He huffed, voice too squeaky for him to continue complaining. Stupid time accidents.
Which wasn’t even starting on the other figure awkwardly sitting at the table.
He glowered at the Ghost King, who kept glancing at him with an unreadable look in their eyes, then looked back towards where Clockwork was. His scowl deepened over his cup of tea- which wasn’t fair, he wanted coffee but nooo, that’s not healthy for ‘little ghostlings’. Ugh.
Sometimes he wished he was fully ghost so he didn’t have to apparently worry about his living body having to grow back up.
#Prompts#Danny Phantom#Pariah Dark x Clockwork#Pariah looking at tiny ghostling with his pale skin & clockwork’s white hair: Oh no#Pariah looking at his fiance who helped lock him in a sarcophagus: Well I can’t Not marry him now#When you stop attempting to conquer the worlds to seduce your ex-fiance#and try to bond with your maybe-son#Danny had a time accident & being immune to CW’s power means he is stuck like this#And THEN Vlad decided to be an IDIOT and release this GHOST KING ASSHOLE#Who keeps FLIRTING with his CLOCKPA-#Oh Ancients he’s acting like a child oh no#Space Core Danny#Time Core Clockwork#Dark Core Pariah#Pariah & Fright Knight are brothers & PK keeps rambling to him#If you want to make this a crossover go for it#DCxDP#DPxDC#JL Dark gets word that someone let out a reality destroying king of infinity#dp x marvel#The heroes who time travelled are going to get yelled at by Clockwork for destroying their entire reality#Only interrupted by Pariah and tiny child who keeps biting him#“Clockwork who taught the child swears-”#Heck could do multiple crossovers#DC heroes arrive to this chaos
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It’s just now hitting me that when Jimmy leaves the mouth of post crash Curly’s head in that bizzaro hallucination sequence it is symbolic of him as the parasitic tongue eating louse needing to leave the host after it has died.
The head is missing Curly’s eye likely representing that blind spot Curly had for Jimmy along with the last bit of Curly that Jimmy could feed off of and impose himself through is truly gone now, a realization that likely is another reason Jimmy broke down so quickly after the feast.
He no longer could hide beside the perception of Curly and now all his words and actions, at least in that moment, were all his own with no way else to spin the blame. He tried to feed his host itself, cause feeding off of him worked for Jimmy not understanding or admitting he’s eaten too much himself.
#so like uhm he had to leave his host because he effectively starved it out but Jimmy refuses to let go#so it’s like a parasite trying to keep its host alive by biting off another piece of its body to spit back in its mouth while still saving#some of that bite for itself and I only just realized cause no one ever specifically points out that section of the force feeding sequence#like the lead up of Jimmy coming out of his mouth and throat and Curly’s socket being empty#he’s not there he can’t see Jimmy anymore not for the person he is or became to him after the crash and right before it#but i dunno im pulling this shit from my ass#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#Denied Ouroboros cause he already ate the snakes tail#tho curly isn’t really a snake but you get the concept outside of that analogy
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Do you ever think about Mobs repressed anger. Do you ever think about his manga lines about just how badly Reigens lies fucked him up. Do you ever think about how he felt like nobody would actually come to help him, nobody would actually be there if he needed, nobody would actually be around him if it wasn't for the Mob persona. Do you ever think about how he felt like any good traits in him were a lie he made to be liked. Do you ever think about how he thinks the only way to be truly seen is to tear apart his life from the ground up so nobody will try to use him anymore. Do you ever think about Shigeo
”the only one who ever saved me was me” but angry! because he shouldn’t have had to save himself! (and also him Needing to shatter everyone’s perception of him in the most destructive way possible because if there’s even a chance that they genuinely liked him. that they would accept him even when he’s the monster he’s been afraid of his whole life. then everything he’s done and believed and every part of himself he’s suffocated to death- wasn’t necessary. if people other than tsubomi (or possibly ritsu as per the manga) can understand and accept him as he “truly is” then he could’ve been a Person this entire time!!)
#mp100#mp100 spoilers#sorry i can NOT let go of the confession arc breakdown yaknow#like. he’s spent so long hiding the ugly parts of him. the parts that he didn’t like. when they were what was keeping him alive#and now he’s forcing everyone to confront that he isn’t perfect because he can’t handle that part of him and also doesn’t want to be anymor#throwing all his faults in everyone’s faces so they can’t ignore it anymore. so HE can’t ignore it anymore#he wants to be accepted so so bad that he tries to make himself an irredeemable monster#and it doesn’t work because he’s human! he’s always been! he is not the exception to the rules the entire show has been building up!#and he keeps moving the goalposts too. every time someone stands up to try and help him he comes up with reasons why they’re Using Him#and just. AUGHHH
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Bunny in danger!
The Chain leave Bunny somewhere safe to clear a monster camp on their trail. Despite Wild’s assurances, Bunny isn’t so safe after all.
@thatonecrazysidekick @tiredgaytheatrekid pssst more Bunny! (I’m sorry)
TW for blood and injury.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ .
Black sand exploded around him, and with half his group of monsters disintegrated, Hyrule had a second to breathe before the final four pounced all at once. A spear cut a fierce gash into his right arm, blood dribbling from the wound and staining his dark sleeve. Another nicked him on the calf. A third, he grabbed by the shaft and twisted out of the monster’s hands, relishing in the way its eyes widened in alarm before he shoved the weapon back into its owner’s stomach, the monster crumbling into black sand.
A high squeal, that fiery protectiveness within his chest swelling, forcing him to look up in time to see Bunny slam into a tree with a sharp shriek. Hyrule’s heart jumped into his throat as the little pink rabbit crashed to the ground in a heap. He didn’t move.
The fourth lizalfos took advantage of the distraction and sent its spear through the back of his thigh. Pain turned his vision white and Hyrule stumbled, the spear sticking out from the front of his leg, blood trailing down his thigh in dark rivulets. Then, he caught sight of that tiny bundle of pink fur, of a lizalfos stalking over to it, a fierce bite wound in its arm, and a wave of blistering fury and golden desire to protect flooded his mind. The air around him crackled.
“Don’t touch him!” A sharp snap of his fingers, and then dozens of bolts of lightning slammed into the ground all around him, turning the world white. The ground shook and lizalfos shrieked in terror, the sounds cut off swiftly.
And then the lightning was gone, leaving behind seven stunned heroes, their hair frizzy and wild and their eyes wide. Hyrule paid them no mind, nor did he feel the normal drain such a significant spell would cause or the spear still embedded in his thigh; he frantically hobbled over to Bunny, kneeling alongside him and gritting his teeth as the spear in his thigh shifted, his vision swimming alarmingly.
“Bunny!” His hands were already glowing a tender pink, healing magic at the ready, and he pressed them against Bunny, closing his eyes as his magic sought out the wounds his little friend had accumulated. His magic pulsed in response, a warning he ignored as he trickled more into Bunny’s still form.
“Traveller, your leg!” Wild had joined him at some point. Hyrule hadn’t noticed, when the edges of his vision were blurry, his ears roaring with blood. Now, his veins began to boil. “You need to—”
He turned to Wild, teeth bared. “You said he would be safe!”
Wild’s eyes widened and he flinched back as if Hyrule had struck him. “I…”
“Look at him! He almost died because of you! This is your fault!”
“I—I’m—” Wild’s eyes glistened now, and Hyrule found the flames were only stoked by the sight.
Before he could snap anything more, Twilight pushed himself between them. “Enough!” he hissed, pushing Wild away. “Take a walk, Cub.”
“B—but, I—”
“I know,” Twilight said, gentler than Hyrule thought Wild deserved. “We’ll talk later. I’ll take over.”
Wild nodded shakily, scurried away before Hyrule could say any more.
#Hyrule doesn’t mean anything he said btw#he’s angry and upset and scared and in a LOT of pain#he won’t let Bunny out of his sights easily after this#when he crashes Bunny sneaks away though#(to sit with Sky while he plays his harp. Bunny is sad after this)#Hyrule and Wild will be having a talk about this dw#these two are besties in every universe no matter what it takes to get there#I love them so much#it’s so hot here right now so I’m posting more Bunny early to distract myself from the miserable heat#I want to keep writing but it’s too hot :(#first Wild POV and I can’t even keep writing… curse you Australia and your fierce summer#please manifest us some rain if you see this the fire threats are real…#lu#loz#lu pink bunny au#linked universe#lu fic#linked universe fanfic#faye writes#lu Bunny#lu hyrule#lu wild#lu twilight#tw blood#tw injury#I’m going to try take a nap now wish me luck#oh also Hyrule is fine#he gets two potions in him after the spear is painfully removed and Twi carries him (Hyrule still carries Bunny)
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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ok. someone’s gonna have to come get my dad or i’m gonna tweak.
#no bc he does this fucking thing where he talks to me like a dog? it could be for any reason. any. sometimes i just walk into a room.#and i can’t even BEGIN to understand what he means by it; if he’s trying to belittle me or if he just.#doesnt know how to talk to me any other way. but it pisses me off to no end cus it ALWAYS feels like the first one.#take last night for example: it was my brother’s birthday; and none of us had expected him to be visiting around this time#this is especially important for my little sister; bc she planned a sleepover with her friends several months in advance—#—to celebrate some of them graduating and one of them moving away.#so all night she’d been trying to get away. my mom told her after cake; so that was the original goalpost;#but then my dad just kept ADDING THINGS. first it was “after cake” then “after this; after that”#and this thing just keeps getting pushed further and further back#then he said “it’s trash day. collect the trash first and then you can go” AND MIND YOU ITS LIKE 7 PM AT THIS POINT#I CAN JUST SEE HER GETTING SO UPSET so i step in; tell her “i’ll take care of it; lets just go.”#AND MY DAD. MY DAD. MY DAD. omg.#he goes “wow!! so good!! 😁😁” WITH THE SAME TONE THAT HE TALKS TO THE DOG. WHY. WHY.#look idk what he means by it; he could just be filling empty space for all im aware; me and my dad have weird communication skills#but the message that it sends me is “who the hell do you think you are helping her right now.”#and that. makes me angrier than anything.#who the hell do you think YOU are trying to keep her from her friends. who the hell do you think YOU are TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.#and i swear he could see that in my eyes cus then he goes “want some icecream 🥺?”#so i tell him “i don’t know what you mean by that.” in the flattest voice i can give#and he just throws his hands up in the air and g r o a n s as if to say ‘HERE WE GO AGAIN’#and i just. bite my tongue and drive my sister to her friends house.#but i swear he does this all the time. he just uses different code words. an old one used to be “mom made curry!” (my favorite meal)#and he’d use it every time he had something negative to say to me. yk. the same way you’d tease a dog with a treat to get them all excited.#“positive sandwich” is what he’d call it. a positive; then a negative; then a positive to make the whole thing ok#but yk a sandwich is always gonna taste like what’s inside. and brother; i can taste the shit between your buns.#yes i know how that sounds.#but yea. as soon as i got home he asked me if i wanted ice cream again.#rubbing salt in the wound? or just trying to curb my anger? i’ll never know. but it drove me upstairs for the rest of the night.#but yea that’s my little rant. someone come get my dad.#stan’s forum
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How do y’all deal with a neighbor that hates your dog? I’ve lived in a double for a few years and one of the newest people that moved in hates Honey with a passion. Honey barked once in the backyard this morning around six when someone she’s never met went into a neighboring backyard to smoke a cigarette. I brought her in as soon as she started barking but this new neighbor texted me vitriol about how she can never sleep because Honey barks occasionally and that I shouldn’t use our shared backyard (the reason I moved to this place). I’ve never had a single neighbor complain about her before and the most she barks is like three separate barks throughout the night but l can almost always get her back in and quiet before she barks twice in a row. Leia can’t sleep through the night without going out but this neighbor expects them not to go out at all between 10pm and 10am.
#I’m at such a loss#advice#like I’ve been sitting outside with them when I take them out at night so she has less opportunities to bark but she’s a guard dog breed#it’s in her nature to bark#like I have no idea how to cater any more to this neighbor#she’s like why can’t you walk them instead of letting them in the yard#which 1. I’m in a house with a backyard for this reason and#2. honey has arthritis and her PT only wants her to go for one 5 minute walk a day right now and we have no front yard#3. is that walks give them the zoomies so they’ll wake her up that way#I feel like I’ve done a lot to try to keep them quiet at night but I have no idea how to deal with this chick#again everyone else who’s lived in that side of the double including her roommates have no problems with the dogs
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all i’m saying is that if i had a nickel for every time i fell for a character that wasn’t well loved enough in a fandom to the point where there’s no fics for them- unfortunately i’d have a lot of nickels :/
#no one understands the men i fall for and i stand by that#no literally no one loves them like i do#looking at you school spirits#time for me to state i’m a xavier baxter defender and fan#no i’m legitimately in love with him it’s not funny#my best friend clocked it immediately before i watched the show#she was like i bet you’re going to be an xavier girl and to no one’s surprise i am#and then come to find it the fandom sort of hates him and can’t forgive him for the cheating plotline#there’s no fics for just him i’m so sad#cat’s personal posts#the guy keeps trying to make amends and he’s so self loathing and deprecating and stated he deserved way worse than the head injury-#no he flatlined and technically died and people still hate him#fandoms#xavier baxter#like maddie’s clearly gotten over it and is v content and happy with wally so maybe you guys could let it go too idk-
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in this episode Imogen:
Took off her circlet. You know, that one that finally gave her peace and quiet, that soothed her constant pain and anxiety, and that gave her the confidence and energy to get back to fully feeling comfortable on her own skin after years. That’s the one. She just took it off.
Told laudna that she was disgusted by the fact that delilah was always watching them. You know, something that laudna fully has no control over whatsoever.
Admitted that she felt like she’s “tainted” and that the gods have been ignoring her for her entire life, in spite of her trying over and over to reach them. So she doesn’t really want to save them.
Mentioned being genuinely scared of meeting Liliana again. Totally not a problem, I’m sure nothing bad will happen there. Specially not in the next couple of episodes.
Said some unfair stuff to fearne, that I genuinely think is coming from somewhere else entirely, and I hope we circle back to eventually.
It’s safe to say that I am officially ✨worried✨ about the farmgirl
#I will not tolerate any amount of Imogen hate on this post if anyone even dares#miss temult will only be treated with love and tenderness in any post of mine 😂#but anyways#girly has spent like the last 2-3 eps fully hearbroken about the shit that keeps happening to them#so like yeah#of course#she’s on some sort of breaking point#she talked to a god yet again who she’s trying to save only to be ignored and pressed upon the fact that she’ll lose the woman she loves#Laudna’s abuser has been continuously tormenting them and fully damaging Laudna’s wellbeing whilst she can’t do much of anything#laudna asked her to move on and find happiness when Delilah inevitably takes over#also to take her down before that happens#they’re about to go to the moon where they could face and/or even have to kill some of the bad guys that include her own mother#plus she’s constantly fighting off this intrinsic need of hers to give into a power that’ll destroy her and everyone she loves#the farmgirl is truly NOT doing alright#oh and a friend of hers just manipulated another friend of hers into letting them kill themselves#pretty wild#critical role#Laudna needs her own post btw cause she’s going THROUGH it as well#imodna#imogen temult#southern gothic#c3#cr spoilers#c3 spoilers#critical role spoilers#bells hells#campaign 3
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.
#thinking about how there can be a real gift to not fully understanding a situation while you live through it#or even just not being able to wrap your head around it completely#because it leaves you open to be guided by grace#in a more simple and direct way than understanding even total understanding could give#I always want to understand things fully. deeply. to get my head around things but also to get ABOVE them#to get a bird’s eye view#and of course I never fully will#because I am NOT God#and of course i absolutely won’t in the moment that I am living through it#and that is a grace—I am seeing more and more clearly#total intellectual understanding and clarity are a) not possible. b) not as good a guide as the promptings of grace can be!#like. of course *I* want to understand. both for my own gratification (tbh) and because it is how I make decisions#or want to at least. thoughtfully. weighing all the information. leaving nothing out#but the truth is I can only ever do that imperfectly. and the reality is that I always live in an imperfect world#so following God’s guidance and trying to keep peace of heart (peace of heart that doesn’t depend wholly on my understanding)#both accomplish more than my own attempts at understanding#this IS the problem of Hamlet. the heart of Hamlet. to me at least#he’s so smart and he’s so educated. and there is a way in which he can wrap his mind around the truth of things#and especially the truth (I should probably say reality) of evil!#so he’s like. staring into the abyss! but in an even realer way he can’t handle total understanding#(and of course however smart he is doesn’t have it and can never have it fully. no human CAN)!#so he has to end and find peace at —there’s a divinity that shapes our ends rough-hew them how we will#let be.#some of that is just letting go of the instinctive relentless need to understand fully what we are living through#you don’t need it—need it less than you/i/we think#as much as we need a heart open to the promptings of grace#A N Y W A Y.#I have been reflecting
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you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one!
oh. oh.

#don’t think i’ve read this kim addonizio poem and it just blindsided me like a truck thank you so much#i. oh god. like yeah.#pour me shitfaced into your car i feel like you own a comforter extremely dysfunctional only in surface details like which person was the#black hole and the distant spark in space that might’ve been a star there’s something too with unrelenting mist / many-headed mist / missed#who knew mis(t)/sed had undone so many. while you keep an eye on the burner here’s hoping this flame doesn’t go out#the flame as in the spark as in don’t let me have pinned my hopes on you to watch it burn out again but also me. like please let me not go#and i think there’s something there too with the repetitive ‘i have just met you’ and i already love you that reminds me both of a story#colman domingo told abt meeting his partner i cry everytime i hear it right when he says ‘i think i love u &you’re about to change my life’#and i KNOW there’s another poem. and i feel like it maybe has a dog and it talks about how they don’t even know you but they love you#OH IT’S ALSO. OH MY GOD THAT’S IT. i mean not exactly so maybe i have read this before & it’s what has been haunting me for so long but#the opening line to tim seibles naïve is ‘i love you but i don’t know you’ - mennonite woman#the odds of that dog poem being a carl phillips poem is non-zero btw. his poems about dogs make me see shrimp colors (bertuzzi thesis)#ANYWAY. agreed. this is incredibly hockey and incredibly hurtful because they DO bond like this in 0.0001 seconds because if you can’t#you’re fucked. you have to just find somebody and fall in love with them and it’s the salmon and the triple cream brie like they got taken#out to some fancy meet the donors team night in their suits and one of them is dealing with a heartbreak and a trade and are the things#they think true or are they just missing what the used to have. jamie who used to empty and refill the ice tray YES sorry i have been a#little bit thinking that about the trevor dealing so poorly with the breakup and i wish i had another narrative (which i do) but it fits#trade deadline tragedy#and also the formation of a codependent rookies like. two guys that get drafted and brought up together and suddenly they’re doing#everything together and it’s your first time in the big show and none of your old college friends understand because they’re not there#and you can’t get it. like you think you know but they can’t understand and the loneliness and it IS guys taking care of each other#(alexa play harriet by hey rosetta! but specifically the bridge) and it’s just. i just!!! trying to fill up the missing pieces of your life#like i cannot convey WHOMST i am trying to pin this narrative to this is going to rotate for a long while i think#because it’s not a wild i fell in love with you at first sight it’s a you were kind to me when i was broken. and i love you for that.#like who is FALLING APART &happens to fall into someone else’s arms. purely for the partygirl aspect the devil (old hrpf) says ‘13 bennguin#who among us hasn’t fallen mildly briefly brilliantly in love with a stranger and imagined a future where you get everything you want#sometimes we love people for who they are and sometimes we love them for what we’re not and sometimes for who we think they’ll be#this was a very long way to say thank you for sharing <3 i will also be making this about my hockey guys <3#OH MY GOD IT’S DPAIRS. WHO’S BEEN THROUGH SEVERAL DPAIRS#nonny <3
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Currently trying not to vomit over the fact that I essentially just lost almost a thousand dollars brb
#why me. why is it always fucking me am I just not allowed to have good things WHAT have I done to earn this kinda karma#my stupid fucking idiot roommate decided to resign the lease at the complex so I naturally contacted the landlords like hey. how does that#work with the security deposit cuz I paid that years before she even moved in do you guys need to come inspect the place after I leave#and they were like oh no ☺️ it just carries over to her. and I’m like. so. so even though I am not living here nor am on the lease#whether or not I get NINE HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS BACK hinges on this JACKASS not wrecking the place???? actually not even then because say#she DOESNT wreck the place when she moves out TURNS OUT the deposit goes to her cuz it’s her name and account attached to the fucking#apartment and I’m just left sitting here like how. how is that fucking fair how does that make fucking sense I have to trust that she doesnt#ruin the place OR GET FUCKING EVICTED BECAUSE SHE HAS NO JOB AND NO WAY TO PAY RENT and then also trust her to just give it to me when she#moves out. I’m actually sick I’m actually gonna fucking throw up and the landlords were like yes exactly ☺️ perhaps you could work something#out with her and she could buy you out of it and I’m just like. she doesn’t have a job she still hasn’t paid me for LAST months utilities#let alone this months do you HONESTLY THINK she is EVER going to pay me the 900 dollars I’m fucking owed#and it’s like does this actually affect anything? no. I didn’t budget with that money cuz I didn’t actively have it and that’s not smart but#like…. 900 dollars….. I could have paid off the rest of my credit card with that and also it’s just infuriating that that money is basically#just being GIVEN to this fucking bitch who I KNOW is not gonna keep that apartment in good shape and that’s again if she somehow doesn’t get#her ass evicted cuz she’s not paying bills why they even LET her sign her own lease there I do not understand she literally has no proof of#income but ig they probably didn’t check that cuz she technically already lived there I’m just so. I’m so tired and I’m so done can I PLEASE#stop being the one who constantly gets screwed fucking over in EVERY situation no matter fucking what#while all these fucking idiots and shitty fucking ppl get whatever they want and actively BENEFIT from me getting fucked over???? I’m done.#I’m so fucking done I am never living with someone ever again never being finanacially tied to anyone fucking again and you know what. thats#great goes well with me basically being convinced atp to never be vulnerable with anyone ever again and never trust anyone ever again and#never dedicate ANY part of my life in a genuine sense to anyone ever again I will be fucking alone in every sense for THE REST of my fucking#life and that’s that. it’ll be better. this kinda shit will stop happening. financially emotionally psychologically I will stop suffering#because holy fucking shit I can’t do it anymore man I’m sick of it I’m sick of trying to be a good person and depend on people and be#vulnerable and always uphold my side of the responsibilities and arrangements just to get fucking spit on like man if this is what being a#shit person gets ppl maybe I should try because they sure seem to get all the benefits and whatever the hell they want consistently and#always while I try and be considerate of others and devote myselves to them and this is all I fucking get for it#and ik I KNOW this is just the straw on the camels back and this is a lot of issues compounding and it’s not even about the money atp#but I’m just. I’m so fucking sick and tired and beaten down and I’m tired of trying I just want to be completely on my own#so at least if bad things happen or I feel like shit I only have myself to blame and it’s safer that way and I’ll have to stop feeling like#this and dealing with these types of things UGH
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Love that not even a full week my partner watched The Terror they still cried genuine tears thinking about Jopson’s death to where it affected them so bad they’ve saved like a dozen pictures on their phone and now browses Etsy looking for a plushie because, I quote, “I just need a little Jopson. To hold.”
They want to watch it again this weekend
#and I can’t stress enough how LITTLE this person’s online presence is#they have a Facebook just to look at people selling re-enactment kit and that is IT.#plus they have personal family connections to polar exploration and so started with Shackleton and Scott and moved back in time#(I started with the FE when I was 11 so we met in the middle)#so they KNEW everyone was going to die. they KNEW the history of the whole thing#and it’s still traumatised them#I’ll get a text sometimes like ‘thought about jopson at work and almost cried again’#and ‘THEY FOUND THE PASSAGE’#they let me borrow their laptop when they’re at work so I jumped on and found like 20 tabs open on how to make the uniforms and pictures#of Victorian navy uniforms#they want to go to Bath as a NAVAL officer lol#keep in mind this guy has never been as into naval history as I’ve been so. aw lol#but yes I am now trying to obtain a tiny therapy jopson for them#DAVE K WHAT DID YOU DO#THEY STARTED QUESTIONING THEIR GENDER AFTER THIS SHOW. AND THEIR SEXUALITY. THEY SEE LIAM GARRIGANS FACE AND WEEP#THIS PERSON HAS FAN ART ON THEIR COMPUTER. THE TERROR FUCKIN REBOOTED THEIR ENTIRE PERSONALITY#I think this is the only popular piece of media they have ever seen and loved. zulu dawn is their favourite film for reference#that and Waterloo
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James corden coming back now this have we not suffered enough 😞
#I could say something about the entitlement usamericans feel to being able to move abroad anywhere in the world and be welcome but hey#from first hand experience I know they give near zero effort to actually understand local cultures either#anyway. I have multiple friends currently in the UK bc of this so I can’t be too hateful#but I also know a lot of extremely ignorant and obnoxious Americans here and I can only imagine it’ll get worse 🤣#<- anyway the uk is cooked anyway so hardly the most productive move#but usamericans looooove moving here bc it’s ‘easy’ Europe (no pesky foreign languages hey)#but very typical usamerican ethnocentrist exceptionalism mindset to be like. ah yes our election result has ramifications that’ll negtively#impact the whole world#let’s go move somewhere else where we’ll feel that negative repercussion the least#also whole world shows their asses and gives usamericans visas too easy it’s embarasing 😭😭😭#like I have friends in the Us who just don’t get it and keep trying to get me to move there and I’m like it’s not that easy ??#even if I wanted to ????#no concept at all that getting a visa can be hard 😭😭
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