#i keep my drawing and fic accounts separate but i could also write you a short drabble

[daemonfish]

there are almost 500 of you!

[m-to-z-andbackto-m]

MZM positive ramble time for you peeps who are feeling down

Aren't fandoms wonderful guys?

There is no bad fandom, there's always a good side, and a bad side to every fandom

Even if a piece of media turns up to be controversial or the creator/s ends up being a weirdo, the fandoms prevail and make good content with the laid down concepts!

We can't control who enters our fandoms, we really can't (also gatekeeping is stupid) (unless you have a personal reason to, I've met someone like that, in certain cases it's okay not to share something with someone), share your interests and find your people and place.

Hell, you know I could be sharing my fandoms with white supremacist, exclusive, arsehole bigots and not even know it, we all are!

The only thing that we can control is the content we push out as members

If you want to see something made? Do It! It doesn't matter if you think you can't draw, or write, or compose, dance, cosplay, won't get views etc... you have a reason to try! You'll get better with time! Just have fun and maybe people who share similar ideals will find that they enjoy your lovely creations <3

(Don't do it for views, do it for fun!)

(Also if you don't enjoy your own content, you will in some time when you improve and one day stumble on an old concept you had, someone will enjoy your ideas, I promise!)

Don't Believe Me?

Find any popular creator and scroll/search way back to their oldest content (if it's still available), find their abandoned accounts, etc...

They started out just like you! Even if you don't see it, doesn't mean they didn't!

Creation is a beautiful thing, don't let anything or anyone stop you from trying to learn, it takes a long and hard process, and everyone progresses at different paces!

Even I thought I haven't changed in a year but looking at my older art? I saw that I did progress! Little by little, you're not supposed to notice until it's significant :D

If you're a lovely small creator and content enjoyer like me, let's help each other out, not just us, but every small creator, from artists who only started drawing to song writers who make whole fan songs that only get a few listens/views

Encourage and support everyone you see (as long as they're not the bad kind of weirdos), fandoms are built on the adoration of media, not on the skill of it's members

Even if you don't like their art, leave a good comment so they stay motivated!

Maybe you don't like the inconsistencies, story telling, and characterization in someone's fic, they won't either when they improve! Leave something nice so they keep up that progress <3

We are so creative as human beings, our imagination is incapable of being restricted and our emotions can either aid or restrain us

We're so full of beautiful potential and I want you to take this age old advice into consideration: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Unless provoked is all, but I'm talking about the good sides of fandoms, the bad side is for another day and boy do I have so much to say about that!

Point is, love and support each other, the fandom shouldn't feel like too much of a stranger to you, you share a major interest with everybody in it, we are a community, act like it.

(And even communities tend to separate their own groups, hence, sides of the fandom, you're somewhere, and you will be recognized by people who share your ideals, you just have to make them clear <3)

I hope you have a wonderful day, and if you don't, at least you recognize that you're capable of having better ones and I hope you'll get more of those feel-good days, and if you think you see or have something that might interest me, I give you my full permission to tag me

Every. Little. Ramble, reblog/reshare, recognition, and reply. Is Worth It. I guarantee you've made someone smile this way, me included.

[not-poignant]

🤯, 🤭 & 💔 for the kinkmeme

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

The ones I'm not writing, lmao.

Okay but in all seriousness, I would say I struggle with mysteries, because I don't enjoy them in general. (I'm that person who always looks up the answer so I don't have to deal with the 'mystery' part which I generally find incredibly boring, so no, I can't really write the genre either). Ditto westerns.

I actually don't think I really struggle with romance, contemporary, action, fantasy, adventure, science fiction, erotica etc. I don't even struggle with hard science fiction. I don't think I'd struggle that much with horror or psychological or even supernatural thriller. Every time I've written elements of horror or thriller genres into my works, it's been pretty well-received actually. I'm just not really drawn to it. Genres are pretty easy to 'get' frankly (I did a media degree, I have done tertiary study of genre, so...formulas I understand). I struggle less with genre and more with base conceptuals that can be found in any genre - for example, I struggle with plot-based over character-based storylines. And that's true in any genre.

Oh! Actually I think maybe I struggle with procedurals and 'case of the week' style writing. That's what Eversion was supposed to be, and I profoundly did not like doing it, so basically removed Connor from the case and told a different story, lol, so I think that's one too!

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

It's two and they go hand in hand: Angst and hurt/comfort. I think they're on just about every single one of my works. And they're usually among the first two I add.

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Hmmm.

Strange Sights because it represents a time in my life that was extremely damaging for me, to the point where I nearly have deleted it several times (I won't though, it doesn't hurt in the same way anymore - time heals some wounds and all that).

All of The Ice Plague because it just did so badly re: engagement (Underline the Black is about to eclipse TIP 3 for kudos in almost a quarter of the time and far less words, lol, sigh), and it became the death knell of the Fae Tales canon, which was supposed to continue. I grieved that for years, on and off, until I finally accepted reality. In TIP 1, we could say it was just...teething issues. In TIP 2 (which did worse than TIP 1) we could be like 'oh well, these things happen.' In TIP 3, which has done the worst of any long fic I've ever written, across two separate accounts, I just put my head in my hands and never felt further away from trying to draw in readers and keeping my career going. I can't tell you how many times I nearly quit.

(I had some great times writing it, but I also had a lot of 'why am I even still doing this to myself' times while writing it too, and then I'd remember the readers that were engaging with it and commenting on it, and I'd remember like... I need to make a living, and I'd also remember that the characters deserved their happy ending, and I'd keep going).

Honestly, nothing else really comes close to TIP, especially TIP 3. I actually felt relieved when it ended. Everything I've written since has been more popular and drawn in more people. It speaks for itself. It just makes me sad as well, that proportionately, less than 1/7 of the readers of Game Theory ever got to read Augus and Gwyn's true happy ending and epilogue, in All that We Were, All That We Will Ever Be. It's just a massive drop off overall, and makes me feel like I let folks down.

-

From the fandom meme

[a-froger-epic]

Get out your glitter leotards and pour some champagne in your cat mugs! 🥂 🍾 It’s time to celebrate Freddie! 🎉😸

🎊 Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 🎊

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

ABOUT THE EVENT

This weekend is a content creation event in honour of the man himself, the legend we all love, Freddie Mercury! Once more, everyone who is inspired by Freddie is invited to share their creativity with the fandom. You can write, draw, edit, record, even cross-stitch 😉 content for absolutely anything related to Freddie, any ship, any genre, any way you like. This is an indiscriminately inclusive, positive event. Everyone is welcome, there is no wrong way to be a fan of Freddie! (Except convincing yourself you're dating his ghost maybe. That's pretty wrong. And weird. Don't do that.)

WHEN? On the 21st, 22nd and 23rd of May.

HOW? On the above dates (or after!), post your contributions to the AO3 collection or alternatively on Tumblr, tagged ‘#fmw2021’ or/and ‘#freddie mercury weekend 2021’. If you post on Tumblr, please also tag @a-froger-epic to make sure you get a reblog from me!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

THE PROMPTS

You can be as free with the prompts as you like. They are here to inspire, there is no wrong way to write them! Change them around, mix them up, make them fem!Freddie, A/B/O, add your favourite ship. Anything goes! 😊

21st of May - 500-1000 word challenge!

We’re kicking off the event with ficlets and drabbles. First time writer just testing the waters? No need for an epic, just write a scene! No time to write but you want to participate? Surely you’ll find time for 500 words! 😉 Interpret these mini-prompts however you like (every one is a separate prompt, but you can combine them!):

Make-Up 💄   |   Pain/Pleasure 👀

Strip 👕   |   Ring 💍

Forbidden 🤫   |   Delilah 🐈

Piano 🎹   |   Dormitory 🛏 

Outrageous 🎉   |   Contentment 😌

Come Together 🎇   |   Ballet 🩰

Piece of Art 🎨   |   Leather 🧥

Cockring 🐔   |   Kimono 👘

Petals 🌸   |   Leotard 🕺🏻

Mustache 🧔   |   Last Time 😔

22nd of May - Is This The Real Life? 

A list of real event/canon timeline prompts from Freddie’s life. How real you want to keep them, however, is entirely up to you!

Down in flames

Freddie is 16 years old when he leaves boarding school. Does it have something to do with the school gardener, Sanjay? Did he flunk his exams or did he not even sit them? Is one thing connected to the other? Does he really find a boyfriend when he goes to stay with his aunt in Mumbai (then Bombay)? Either way, there’s the small matter of his parents finding out about all of it... (Sources: x x )

When Freddie met Kenny

Freddie is a guest on Kenny Everett's radio show in spring 1974. Freddie is living with Mary, Kenny is married. Two gay men, deep in the closet. To no one's surprise, they hit it off immediately. (Source: x )

But when did he? 

At some point during his relationship with Mary, prior to his relationship with David, Freddie had already begun sleeping with men. But how and when did that first happen? Cottaging in London? On tour somewhere in the world? Your guess is as good as ours… 

Flying High

Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll. Like all rock bands of their time, Queen doesn’t escape the copious amounts of cocaine in the entertainment industry for long. Somewhere on tour in America, perhaps, Freddie is first introduced to it. Where? How? 

Hide your tears

Jim said that he tried to be strong for Freddie and only cried in private, so as not to burden Freddie with his feelings. But this time, he is found. 

One-liners:

In 1969, Freddie doesn’t know how to cook an egg and neither does Roger (Source: x )

In 1977, Freddie meets Joe while on tour in Boston and starts dating him behind David's back

In 1990, Brian and Freddie work on 'The Show Must Go On' (Source: x )

In a year of your choice, Jim reminisces about his fondest moment(s) with Freddie

In 1976, Freddie and Mary end their relationship 

In 1984, Winnie gives Freddie a wedding ring (middle of the post: x )

In the late 60s, Freddie agrees to model for an Ealing Art School fashion show, but panics and flees the runway (Source: x )

In 1974, Freddie is strip-searched upon arrival in Australia (Source: x )

In 1982, Freddie and Roger go shopping in Amsterdam (Source: x )

In 1978, Freddie swings from a chandelier - naked (Source: x )

23rd of May - Is It Just Fantasy?

A list of AU prompts to spark your imagination. Take them and run with them or change them up, just have fun!

Make your dreams come true

Freddie hasn't been very fortunate in his life, until he finds a very special oil lamp, and rubs it just the right way. 

Beautiful stranger

Freddie meets an alluring stranger at a masquerade ball, who has more secrets than he can hide behind a mask. But Freddie has some of his own. 

Thicker than water 

Freddie agrees to a dreadful fate in order to save his little sister from the very same. Fortunately, he has friends who are more than willing to help him, but can they? Or are they, too, in danger?

Diamonds are a boy's best friend

Freddie is the prized jewel of the court, a skilled belly-dancer and entertainer, but he may also be plotting murder and getting away with it. 

Almost Real

In a distant future, humans have all but done away with face to face interaction. Humanity largely lives online. Children grow up isolated and live with only their families well into young adulthood. Cybersex is the new normal, although some families take a puritanical approach for fear of addiction. One day, impossibly, a real life young man falls through the containment field in Freddie’s back garden. 

One-liners:

This plane is going to crash (Freddie knew there was a reason he hated flying) 

Shipwrecked on an island (Freddie could never bear to be alone, but luckily/unfortunately for him…) 

Hunger Games AU (Freddie is so dead) 

A terrible road accident (Everyone is so dead, or are they?) 

Blind Date AU (Freddie's best friend is so dead for setting him up with this person… or are they…) 

Bank robbery (but who are the robbers and who are the hostages?) 

Magic AU ("Yer a wizard, Freddie!")

Film Noir AU (Secrets and cigarette holders) 

Interior Design AU (Does the carpet match the drapes?)

The Bodyguard AU (“And I will always love yooouuuu…”)

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

RULES & FAQ

⛔ Strictly No Hate ⛔

This is the NUMBER ONE RULE of the event, to ensure that everybody feels safe. No rudeness, provocations or hate aimed at creators or other commenters will be permitted, not on AO3 nor Tumblr.

Follow these steps if you receive a comment or ask that distresses you:

Do not engage. (You can take a screenshot as proof.)

Delete it. No ifs, no buts. Just delete it. (Don’t hesitate to block anon hate on Tumblr.)

Alert me ( @a-froger-epic ) or @aboutnothingness, who is lending me a hand to make sure all needs are attended, all questions are answered and everything runs smoothly. We are here to actively support you. We’ve got your back, and we will gladly talk to you and help you feel better.

If you choose to ignore this rule, your work may be removed from the event. We would hate to resort to that.

But what if one of the works has upset me?

Can the thing that upset you be tagged, but it wasn’t? Then please inform @a-froger-epic or @aboutnothingness, and we will bring it to the creator’s attention. (Remember to use the appropriate tags, everybody!)

Was the thing that upset you already tagged? Or is it perhaps simply the characterisation you find disagreeable? Then we suggest you click on the ‘back’ button, take a deep breath and remind yourself it's just fanfic.

Who can participate?

Anyone who is inspired by Freddie Mercury in any way shape or form. This event is open to all.

Can I combine prompts from different days?

By all means! We look forward to your futuristic Freddie-gets-kicked-out-of-boarding-school Maycury Film Noir AU. With leotards. Go crazy.

I'm not sure where my creation fits in, what day do I post it? 

The days, like the prompts, are only suggestions. We don't mind when you post it, as long as you post it! Even if it's two weeks late! 

Help, I've never posted fic before! 

Don't worry, we've got you! (And more importantly, we've got AO3 invites!) @aboutnothingness is more than happy to walk you through the process of setting up an account and is also offering her services as a beta.

I’m still too nervous to participate!

You can post anonymously to the collection. You can disable anon comments on your work. You can disable comments entirely and just collect the kudos. You can close anon asks on Tumblr temporarily. But most importantly, we are here for you and we want you here!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

“I love the fact that I make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just half an hour of their lives, in any way that I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”

- Freddie Mercury

[shatouto]

Yo!! I recently got into obikin, and I love your blog!! Do you have any recommendations for obikin blogs/writers/artists I could follow?

thank you, and welcome!! ah shit, this is gonna be difficult to compile but i hope i can at least give you a starting point! in no particular order because my brain is goldfish

okay so, obikin starter pack: check out the obikin server tumblr blog right here @obikins and get your discord invite! everybody is super nice and friendly and so so so creative 💕

RIGHT SO, i’ll be reccing tumblr blogs and ao3 accounts a handful of people whose tumblr i dont know or am not sure if i can reveal!

star wars blog: @gffa - gen star wars stuff, VERY COOL META especially if you’re pro-jedi and or wanna read more on interpretations of the Force and stuff, lots of reference materials too; and yes they are also obikin. this was probably one of the first blogs i follow on here i think!

writers:

@obiwanobi amazing senator kenobi content, also just, amazing writing in general

@tree-scapes (ao3) honestly one of my favorite authors ever, her writing style just hits different ya know

@unspuncreature (ao3) they write lesbian obikin and such vivid sensual thoughtful writing hgngn it is imperative that you check out their fics!!!

@glimmerglanger (ao3) the most delicious top notch bottom obi content i honestly just- aaahh

@himboskywalker (ao3) plEASE check out her obikin tag and FICS!! SUCH VIVID SEXY WRITING

@intermundia (ao3) a lot of obikin content and classics too if you’re interested in that!!!

@xeniaraven (ao3) loooots of great nsfw fics

cataclysm_dialogue writes lots of wonderful smut too but i don’t know if they’d wanna reveal their tumblr name

same for is0lde - who writes really pretty flowery smut and makes the best analogies

ghostwriterofthemachine i am currently DYING FOR her poet obikin fic, gorgeous writer really

@professorkenobi this ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE GEM run by @luckee (ao3) and @theseptemberist (ao3) who also write fics separately!

@jasontoddiefor (ao3) amazing talented writer with lots of wonderful gen fics and such great great great concepts. check out @dai-bendu-conlang too if you’re into constructed languages!!

ghost_owl still the writer who wrote the best kiss i’ve ever read and i will never shut up about this

wanderlove PLEASE CHECK EM OUT god i love their fic

@shywhitemoose (ao3) amazing writer who is also a great artist!!

@jamesttiberius (ao3) GOD AMAZING WRITING LHSDKJ I HONESTLY WILL NEVER GET OVER THEIR SOFT CANONVERSE SLICE OF LIFE

@maragny (ao3) aaahh really really sweet soft fics i love <3

@sonderwalker (ao3) lots of soft hurt/comfort fics too <33

@izazov (ao3) such great ideas, i love them <3

@anakinspraisekink (ao3) writes really sweet smut!

artists:

@new-anon i think they draw more than just obikin but their art style is really to die for!

@quiet-oracle really really sweet painterly style

@daisanfar you’ve gotta check em out, i love their art style so much, i adore <33

@coldishcasecreates (ao3) wait he’s also a writer so he belongs to the other category too- man im bad at this. but yeah, really witty content creator!

@kuzuyu427 is an amazing artist with a very sweet art style

@iamurako is also a super great artist with such a great art style and humorous scenarios

@jswander (ao3) another amazing artist AND writer pls check em out!! also writes the softest squick content i am not kidding

@raijikaru ohhh soft art and great lighting <33

@tomicaleto their mini AU keeps me ALIVE- oh wait i think they also write! (sorry, again im terrible at this)

@mashimero (ao3) another super talented artist-writer combo!!

@a-smiling-travesty her art style is so so soft and i just- adore <333

@unpheenix (ao3) yet another double menace artist-writer!! their art style is so recognizable, i love it, and mmm many delicious AUs

okay i think i’ve exhausted my brain capacity for the day. im sorry if i missed anyone, i tried my best to include every content creator that i know is active!! i hope you have a good time in the fandom anon!! you’re gonna be here forever

[deaththesyd]

To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 1, "He's not ugly"

I'd like to blame @mytanuki-kun for one of their works inspiring this side project that is now in the way of my Kisame week progress. As frustrating as this is, I'm having fun with this one and I'm excited to write my first true multi-chapter fic, even if it doesn't fit with the rest of my works and their timeline.

Summary: At first, she had shrugged it off as him simply being worn out from all the social interaction, but if that was the case, why was he only avoiding her?

At first, she had let it slide. Being super friendly and interacting with people was draining after all, and being forced to live in close quarters with such a loud group was sure to take its toll on even the most extroverted people. His avoidance lasted the entire rest of his time spent in her world, but she didn’t worry. As usual, a month passed by before she herself was teleported away into the foreign world of Jutsu, violence, and ninja. She even shook off her doubts when instead of her usual escorts, she was picked up by Kakuzu and Hidan, being told that the others were all preoccupied with important missions, ones that she would only be a distraction from. Entertaining as she found the duo and their antics, she couldn’t exactly hide her disappointment from the silver-haired loudmouth she had grown to consider a friend.

“What’s with all the moping, huh?” He said loudly, stood in front of her, face lowered to look her directly in the eyes as she had been watching the ground as she walked. Blocking her path forward, she stopped to look up at him, forcing herself to push down her thoughts and play them off as nothing. Surprising as it may be, Hidan wasn’t entirely self-absorbed and happened to be pretty talented at sensing other's emotions, a skill that he very rarely made use of. Not that it was really all that hard to see that something was up with her. Always easy to read, an open book, she was the worst liar and easily the most sincere person he had met. He seriously couldn’t stand her mood lately, it was worried and upsetting. Mixed with Kakuzu’s ongoing anger at everything and everyone, the irritating emotions were mixing and giving Hidan a headache. There were only two ways he could think of to fix this, either piss off Kakuzu to relieve his built-up stress and risk an explosive and painful response, or play concerned friend and get the woman lagging behind them to return to her normal upbeat self. Contemplating both options, the least painful option seemed the best bet.

“It’s not nothing, I can tell, so don’t bother lying, you’re shit at it anyway,” he cut her off as she tried to reply.

She tried anyway. “Really though,” she said, smiling almost convincingly, “I’m just lost in thought, we’ve been walking all day, can you blame me for tuning out?” Waving him off, she sidestepped him to follow after Kakuzu, who had not stopped for them and was quickly leaving them behind.

Knowing that the likelihood of being separated from Kakuzu was high if they didn’t keep up with the old man, he didn’t hold her back but stayed by her side to press for a proper response. “I said not to fucking lie,” he spoke casually knowing that anything truly harsh would only shut her up further, “you’ve been like this ever since you got here, it’s not just you being tired of walking.”

Sighing, she replied, “Ok, you’re right that I’m not just tired, but it’s nothing, really. I just need to manage it by myself.” No longer lying was a step forward, but she kept her lips tight on whatever it was. She was stubborn, but Hidan was persistent.

“What’s with you being all shy all of a sudden? You’re always so fucking talkative no one but Fishface can get you to be quiet,” he complained, almost missing how she reacted at the mention of the tall swordsmen. He grinned, seemed like he had a hook. “Awe, is this about your little crush on the big guy? Did you ask him out and he chickened out?” He laughed cruelly.

It wasn’t much of a secret that she had feelings for Kisame, she wasn’t very good at hiding how he caught her eye, often spacing out while watching him train, and making any excuse to get his attention. Everyone at some point had noticed the flush to her face around him, or the fond look in her eyes as she looked up at him. To most, it wasn’t anything to focus on. Kakuzu and Sasori couldn’t care less about it, as long as she wasn’t being obnoxious, Itachi seemed to keep a careful watch over her and her interactions with his partner, his reasons were unknown to Hidan who couldn’t care less about the Uchiha. Deidara and Hidan made sure to poke fun and tease her at any opportunity, making sure to keep their taunts from the man of her affections, trying to draw out their entertainment as long as they could. After months of this, she had become accustomed to the mostly friendly jeering from the two and had begun to poke fun at herself as well. It seemed she had resigned herself to watching from afar and keeping her flirting to a level that was easily mistaken for friendly conversation by the oblivious man.

Years of being acquainted with Kisame had only given Hidan a surface-level knowledge of the man, but recently he had noticed just how unconfident truly was of his looks, something he of course zeroed in on immediately. 6 foot whatever and hulking over even Kakuzu, it was hilarious to him that the member of the legendary Swordsmen of the Mist was both self-conscious over his fishy appearance, and his years of training as a ninja had not taught him to notice the obvious signs that a woman was into him. How anyone could be so unaware, yet so skilled was beyond him.

Her face saddened at his words, her brow furrowing, and her eyes cast themselves to the ground again. “I haven’t said anything, but I think he might have caught on,” she said quietly.

Despite her clearly upset confession, he grinned. “Way to go! Fishface finally figured out how to see above water, wondered if his brain was just waterlogged,” he snickered, excited that he could finally openly pick on him over the subject, but she didn’t smile and remind him to be nice like she normally did when he made digs at the sharkman. Clearly not a good sign then.

“I think he’s avoiding me,” she said, looking defeatedly at her shuffling feet. Now that made no sense.

Not long after it was clear to everyone but Kisame that she had an attraction to the tall man, it became more and more obvious that it was reciprocated. As much as she stared at him, he stared at her. Less openly, probably why it had taken everyone a while longer to see it, but it was well known that the two were complete idiots that had no clue the other was just as interested as they were. Part of Hidan had wanted to tell them immediately, embarrass them and make a scene out of it all, but another part of him had held onto their frustrations and fed off of it as a much more drawn-out entertainment source. Deidara was in on it too, saying that as much as he wanted to set off an explosive show by forcing their feelings out into the open, he also wanted there to be a build-up. In the meantime, they got to tease their fishy accomplice as much as they could get away with without pissing him off and alerting the other half of the pining duo. The fact that Kisame was avoiding her after finding out she felt the same was not what anyone had expected. For once in his life, Hidan was pissed at the drama of it. He would not admit that he was actually looking forward to the two becoming a couple.

“Bet he’s just scared that someone thinks his ugly mug is hot and is worried for your sanity,” he laughed. Her hand smacked him halfheartedly.

“He’s not ugly.” She said sternly, “Although with how forward I’ve been, he may have been creeped out,” she smiled, but there was a twinge of pain on her face that Hidan couldn’t help but notice. It pissed him off, his whole religion was about inflicting pain and death for his God, but seeing her genuinely upset gave him a feeling of frustration on her behalf.

“There’s no way he’s creeped out by your creepy staring,” he found himself attempting to reassure her, feeling as though he was betraying his and Deidara’s whole scheme. “He’s clearly just as much a creepy stalker as you are.”

Unsure that she had heard him correctly, she looked up to see Hidan avoiding eye contact, looking off the side of the road, ignoring her reaction purposely. “I don’t see how he’s the stalker,” she laughed humorlessly, “When he’s the one avoiding me.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re just as fucking blind as he is,” he muttered. Her sudden giggle made him look at her in suspicion. “The hell’s so funny?”

She brought a hand to try and stifle her laughter before she spoke, “What’s got you all grumpy now? Upset someones not crushing back on you?” She teased, eyes darting to look at the silent man trudging forward ahead of them, then back at Hidan.

The glare he shot her only made her giggles slightly louder. “What the fuck are you gettin’ at?” He spat, daring her to continue.

Humming whimsically, she spoke, “I just think that maybe you’re projecting some of your own frustrations onto someone else.”

He should have chosen to piss off Kakuzu. She may have been the lesser of two evils at a first glance, but the ability she had to force him into subjects he would rather avoid was something he had forgotten to account for in his earlier decision. Unlike the completely requited yet oblivious relationship between her and Kisame, Hidan’s own feelings were something he tried to ignore whenever possible. It was just a shitty joke she had made, something about how Hidan should leave her alone since he was really just trying to make the old man jealous. Something he should have shaken off with a normal insult towards the old miser, yet he had frozen, caught off guard by the accuracy. That was the one and only time he had ever allowed himself to come out to someone and let them live. It was shameful in the church to have feelings of devotion for anyone but Jashin, yet wanting someone that couldn’t produce more followers was even more so. Adamantly, he refused his feelings towards the man, but since that day she had treated his explicit flirting as nothing more than a show.

Embarrassed as he was, his comeback held no bite, and her teasing and further avoidance of the earlier topic increased. Eventually, it turned into a loud argument that reached Kakuzu’s ears, who ended their annoying discussion by threatening them both. She was easier to scare, but whatever they had been squabbling about had made Hidan more feisty than normal.

“Fuck off you old dick! There’s plenty of politer ways to ask to be included in a conversation,” came the danger prodding taunt from the young man. It was hard to guess why, but the older man’s fuse was shorter than usual, and the woman yelped as a dark arm split off from the man's torso to grab the face of the loudmouthed man right beside her. Flailing wildly and ineffectively he was dragged along the ground, yanked by the harsh grip of the intolerant man. Green eyes surrounded by red sclera flashed at her, warning her she would be next if she didn’t follow quietly. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she did just that.

[dholwrites]

AO3 Stats Meme

Stole this off of someone since I quite like doing these. q(≧▽≦q)

How many works do you have on AO3?

29 if you don't count the fact that one of them is a collection of the headcanons I write. (*^▽^*)

What’s your total AO3 word count? 121,385 words

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? All 29 works are for FFXIV, I have written other stuff in the past but the FFXIV ones are the only ones that I put up in Ao3. ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Headcanons of the undateable NPCs - This one is expected since this is where most of my word count goes and it has a really large variety of headcanons that draw people in. This is a little skewed since I can't tell which of those headcanons is the most popular.

Guilty Pleasure - A separate collection of porn I work after someone asked what the guys' guilty kink would be. I thought that the prompt was so good that it warrant me to write up all 7 chapters within a week if my memory is correct. (❤´艸｀❤)

Wake Up Call - G'raha porn. I'm surprised that this one got so much attention. Though this might be because it came out as his popularity started to tick up. ο(=•ω＜=)ρ⌒☆

Anniversary Party - Aymeric porn! I think this one really kicked off the list of people that wanted porn commissions from me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Away - More G'raha porn~ ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

I can't believe that 4 of the 5 popular things I write are porn. Should I have expected it? Yes, but I think what takes me by surprise is that it is G'raha that is stealing people's hearts.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do my best to respond to all the comments I get in my works, sometimes one or two slips through. Part of it is because I like seeing engagement with my works, sometimes kudos aren't enough, and replying to people helps encourage more interaction. The other reason is that I want to show that I appreciate people reading my works.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Too Far Gone - I think would have to take the cake. It is not completed only because I haven't felt like the rest of the chapters are up to par with my standards. With what happened in the recent MSQ, it's a bit difficult to keep pushing this train.（；´д｀）ゞ

Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? I don't write crossovers! I will also admit that I don't really read them either. I have a hard time already keep track of characters, adding another batch from a different media makes it all the more hectic.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I can't say that I received hate, but I have received constructive criticism that got me to change the details of one of my fanfics. It could be interpreted as hate but I didn't see it as any harm.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 8 of my 26 works is pretty much smut, with some being a bit tamer than others. I try to write a wide range of works things like vanilla sex, heat cycles, to pegging.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? As far as I know, no fanfics have been stolen? If there is any, I haven't been informed of the copycat. (°ー°〃) I consider that a good thing since I hear that it is quite a pain to get stolen works taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope! None of my works have been translated as far as I know and I have no intentions of translating them myself. I don't mind people translating my works as long as I get credit for the original work.

What’s your all-time favorite ship? Gosh, this is really difficult since my preferences switch around a lot based on what I'm writing. I think that my fav might be Estinien x WoL or G'raha x WoL ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

What are your writing strengths? It would be that I write believable characters, I take into account things like time period, setting, and relationships to figure out how they would interact with or react in certain settings. I like to believe that it makes them a lot more endearing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue, which is why it rarely shows up in most of my fics unless it really calls for it. I can get a sense of their tone and the meaning of their words but I can't visualize or figure out how they would speak.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? A chapter in my headcanon fic called 'What you mean to them'. I will admit that it was written in a moment where I doubted my self-worth and everything that I did. Believing that these characters cherish me as much as I cherish them helped.

[heronchildlove]

Hey can you do a fic where will and tessa find James and Matthew kissing? With the aftermath? I love your writing!

Here it is, nonnie! Hope you like it!

.

“You think the Townsends will be able to come to today’s meeting?” Will asked as they climbed the steps of the Institute, him holding Tessa’s arm in one of his and half a dozen bags in the other. Somehow, this always seemed to happen when they passed by the bookstore: they went to look for one thing, and then found some other that seemed interesting, one they were sure Lucie would love, and then of course they had to get one for James too, and before they knew it there was a pile of books being processed by the cashier. Not that either of them were complaining.

“Perhaps, if their train arrives on time. We should take our new haul to the library and then start on the preparations for later.”

“What a sad day when we come home with books and we can’t open not even one right away.”

Tessa chuckled.

“I think we will survive just this one time.”

“Barely, but yes. Let’s just leave them on one of the tables for now and we can set up everything properly later.”

They kept chatting and discussing details for the upcoming meeting as they crossed the halls of the Institute and arrived at the library, but as they walked around one of the shelves to leave the books in one of the tables near the windows, a sudden sight made them stop dead on their tracks: there were two figures pressed together against one of the shelves, interlocked in a heated kiss. Will felt as if he was only seeing the image in flashes: a green coat pressed against books, a blonde head tipped back, a flurry of wild black hair, sharp features he was very familiar with. It all suddenly clicked into one full picture with a speed that left him with whiplash.

"Boys, what are you doing?", he asked, more shocked by the novelty of it all than by any negative emotions, but he still felt Tessa's nails dig on his arm and she sent him a pointed look as the two figures - their son, James, and his parabatai, Matthew - separated with spooked, terrified looks on their faces, like deer caught on the headlights of a freight train.

James jumped back, drawing as much space between him and Matthew as fast as he could in the narrow space the bookshelves allowed and he held on to it as if to keep himself from bolting, or his legs from giving out under him. He was so embarrassed his face had turned crimson, a stark contrast to Matthew that looked as pale as death.

"Pa! That wasn't- We were just- That's not-" he started and seemed unable to finish any sentences until Matthew cut him over.

"I am sorry, Mr. Herondale, that was my fault! I talked James into it. If you are going to send anyone to the Silent City or away forever, send me!"

"What?" Will asked, at the same time James screamed "Matthew, no!" in protest and the boys started arguing. He still didn't know what to say, he could barely hear them, his brain felt like it wasn't working well. He was fairly certain it was supposed to connect dots and formulate opinions that would turn into speech, but it simply felt frozen.

It took a while until Will realised he was terrified. Terrified for the future of his son and his parabatai that he also loved like one of his children. He knew why Matthew was trying to take the blame and shift the punishment on him, because there should be a punishment, according to their Law, and Matthew was trying to protect James from it. And Will was just terrified either of them, or both, would have to face the cruelty of the Law, - someday if not now - for something innocent that should, by all accounts, be happy and free of shame or guilt. His brain was denying reality, because he didn't want to face the fact that, if this was more than just a passing curiosity, then these two children that he loved so dearly were bound to suffer.

Tessa's nails dug even deeper into his arm and lifted the fog a bit. He heard her say: "Calm down, James, and you too, Matthew. No one will be going to the Silent City or anywhere. Right, Will?"

"Yes, right," he hurried the words out before his state caused the boys any more worry or grief. "No one will be punished for anything. You boys weren't doing anything wrong."

"I think we might have been doing one or two things wrong," Matthew said, bitterly, "according to the Law."

"The Law doesn't say anything about... Kissing. If you boys are just curious...”

“We aren’t.” James cut him, and the determination in his voice and passion in his eyes made even Matthew gasp. Will knew those eyes, he had seen them in himself many times when he talked about Tessa. Herondales love but once, he remembered the saying, though he was living proof that wasn’t quite true, and that made the ice of fear in his veins turn into powerful fire, to protect his family and their happiness for as long as he lived.

“Then know that you are always safe here,” he announced, and saw the boys’ eyes go wide again.

“You aren’t... Mad at us? Shocked? Disappointed?” James asked.

“Utterly disgusted and enraged?” Matthew added, and it was slightly heartbreaking.

“We are the last people on Earth that could fault or blame you for loving outside of the norm,” Tessa said, and he nodded and added.

“We thought we had made a good job showing all you kids we don’t think love can be wrong, but apparently not...”

“It’s not that,” James said, “it’s just, loving someone of the same gender or different kind is one thing, but... Love among parabatai is... Forbidden.”

Tessa smiled. “So is marrying a warlock, I reckon.”

“Marrying a warlock isn’t forbidden, just... ill-advised.” Matthew pointed out. It seemed like both boys were so shocked they had received understanding instead of punishment they were having a hard time wrapping their heads around it.

“Still, you have looked at us - at me, your mother and Jem - all your lives, and haven’t seen the love that runs through all of us? It’s not just your mother that would marry Jem tomorrow if she could. Though I have never tried to kiss him. You think I should do that next time we meet him?” He asked his wife, and she gave him a sideways smile.

“If you want him to be the first Silent Brother to die of a heart attack, yes.”

He laughed and was pleased to see the boys did, too. He was even more pleased when James stepped closer to Matthew again and took his hand in his. All the times he had seen them together recently suddenly took on a new meaning, and he smiled. Iit would take some adjustment in the way he saw and thought about Matthew and his relationship with James, but as long as they were happy, that wasn’t any issue at all.

“So you are really okay... with this?” James asked, one last time.

“Perfectly okay. I repeat, you will always be safe with us and under our roof. We won’t talk about it with anyone else, either, not even Jem, until you are ready to tell them yourselves.”

The boys smiled. “Thank you, pa.”

“Now, we have a meeting to prepare, so we will just put those books over there and be on our way and you can go back to what you were doing. Though, personally, I would recommend a bed, it’s more comfortable.”

“Pa! By the Angel!” James complained, face completely red, before turning and dragging Matthew away from his absolutely mortifying father. The other boy was laughing, so at least someone appreciated his jokes.

When they were gone, the smile disappeared from his face and he shot Tessa a worried and terrified look. They might have carved a safe and loving space for the boys in their world, but outside from it they were still subject to pain and suffering and an unimaginable terror he knew they wouldn’t be able to protect them from forever. Tessa turned to him and pulled him into a tight hug, knowing exactly how he felt.

“We will do our best for as long as we can, and hopefully that will be enough.”

He dropped his face to her head, so her hair hid his eyes filled with tears. “Hopefully.”

[countessofbiscuit]

What are your Bobasoka headcanons? I've already gone through all of the (criminally little) fic on ao3 and I especially loved Smothered and Covered, and I saw the majority of the fics in the tag were gifted to you so I'm assuming you're the OG shipper. Feel free to essay if you like!!

Thanks for the ask and kind words about that fic :3 

Oh, Bobasoka … where to begin? It’s a pairing that’s been bumping around in exchange requests for a few years — I figure it’d be easy for anyone invested in Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones to be compelled by the idea. Lledra used to draw Boba and Ahsoka interacting, and it was probably a few panels of their incredible Destinies comic that set my Bobasoka wheels turning. I’m also drawn to them because their journeys traverse so much canon; there’s not just a sandbox to play in, but a whole goddamn stretch of beach, stretching far out into the horizon ...  (#AhsokaLives #BobaSurvived :D)

I have to lead with the proviso that almost everything I write/daydream about/headcanon has a groundsheet of Rexsoka. Ahsoka’s interest in Boba, in my head, is intimately tied up with her attraction to and/or relationship with Rex — or, at the bare minimum, her intimate fellowship with the clones. She went through puberty (maybe with heats!) surrounded by a literal army of handsome, roughly college-aged dudes; that must’ve been a heady mix of heaven and hell. If she didn’t quench her thirst before war’s end and her (eventual) separation from Rex, she’d probably be pretty dehydrated when stumbling across Boba. As for Boba’s attraction to Ahsoka, well ... she’s very pretty, she’s potentially useful, she’s not likely to skewer him in his sleep (+2) on account of being a Jedi (-1), and now she’s the one down on her luck; if he falls in bed with anyone, why not this girl who isn’t afraid of him and stares a lot at his lips?                         

And Boba is like a hot shipping potato — satisfying, hard to fuck up, goes well (read: makes for an intriguing story) with almost everyone. And I think it has everything to do with his liminality, something he shares with Ahsoka and probably recognizes.          

Their neither-this-nor-that-ness overlap in such interesting ways, and they each bring their identity issues to the table — Ahsoka as an on-again, off-again Jedi; Boba as a clone who isn’t a Clone™, a Mandalorian by birth and bearing, but not by the book. At different points in their stories, they identify as different things, and that would affect their headspace and color their view of the other. They wrestle with themselves and each other. Force-user and bounty hunter; privileged topsider and orphaned juvenile delinquent fugitive; GAR commander and outcast clone; Jedi and Mandalorian; Disillusioned veteran and disaffected army brat; Rebellion agent and Imperial contractor.

And as much conflict is baked into these dynamics, it also generates a certain magnetism; and I believe they recognize, on some level, their shared trauma and the symmetry in their experiences. Boba and Ahsoka both have happy childhoods with very little to distress or vex them (beyond the art, I do not jive with Age of Republic: Jango Fett, a Disney-canon comic that not only doubles-down on the Jango-wasn’t-Mando nonsense, but shows him being rather cavalier about Boba’s life); Geonosis happens and their adolescent lives are dominated by war (which is how they came to actively threaten each other as space!secondary-schoolers — whaaaaatf!); they are both dubiously (even wrongfully) imprisoned; and they both suffer alienation and incredible personal loss.  

Boba was set apart from the clones before he was even pulled him from the jar, othered and elevated from the beginning. He never bonded with brothers, he does not identify as a clone. And while there are examples of clones making overtures to him, canonically his relationship with them is fraught and probably made worse when he gets banged up in Republic Central at the tender age of eleven or twelve — and of course, Ahsoka is an accessory to this, the second chapter in his tragedy at the hands of the Jedi. He needed help (whether he wanted it or not), it was not given by clones or Jedi alike (hamstrung by bureaucracy, sure, but surely some other means of intervention might have been lobbied for?), and Boba becomes a right teenage disaster, well-balanced only in the sense that he has a chip on both shoulders.

(n.b. Putting my RepComm hat on for a second, I can’t help but sniffle-laugh at the idea that the Alphas watched him get thrown in a maximum-security slammer and were like “Ah, there he is, the feral vod’ika. First time, we’ll let the little snot earn his stripes. Second time, we’ll bust him out and send him on a tough love retreat with A’den or Jaing.”)

Ahsoka, meanwhile, is part-and-parcel of the institutions that Boba sets himself against, even after she too has been cast out by circumstances beyond her control. She grows up in a supportive Jedi community and then spends some seriously formative years with a whole slew of brothers — brothers that should have been Boba’s! 

Boba, on the other hand, is a great example of the proverb that a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. (As he tells Hondo, “Why should I help anybody? I’ve got no one.”) 

The resentment that must create! But also, later, the quiet empathy too — maybe when Boba’s having one of his better days and Ahsoka’s obviously not. 

And all of the above is interesting enough, without also touching upon the wildcard that is Mandalore.

Boba’s relationship with Mandalore .... well, that’s contested in- and out-of-universe and I won’t allow myself to essay overmuch. I subscribe firmly to a Mandalorian Fetts construction of canon, even though Boba must be someone who struggles mightily with Mandalorian identity. He’s raised by a bona fide Mando, a solicitous, loving father who’d have no reason not to pass on his language and beliefs; but at the same time, it takes that village, and when Boba’s clan of two is shattered, he has no one else. The loss of his dad unmoors him from his only anchor to Mandalorian culture and clan.

If Boba had been close to the Cuy’val Dar, one would think he’d have turned to them rather than fall in with Jango’s criminal acquaintances; or maybe the bounty hunters just scooped him up first, and troubled lil’ Boba was shepherded through bereavement by folks who enabled and encouraged him to externalize his anger in a way that gave him a (false) feeling of agency and strength. 

Whatever the reasons, Boba does not repatriate himself to Mandalore (much to Fenn Shysa’s melodramatic dismay). He strikes me as a lapsed Mandalorian; he doesn’t exactly follow the creed besides wearing the armor (scavenged? his dad’s sans helmet? canon is confused on this point, but he doesn’t go Mando until the unfinished arcs at the end of TCW, either for lack of stature, lack of armor, or lack of enthusiasm). I feel like if someone rocked up to Boba in a cantina and had the balls to ask “hey, so you a Mandalorian?” Boba would be like “<ominously slow helmet tilt> who’s asking” and never give you a straight answer.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka gets a crash course on Mandalore from none other than someone who, at one point, belonged to a sect that wanted to expunge Jaster’s legacy from the galaxy — and at the very least, had reason to dislike clones. This isn’t the place to explore my Boba/Bo-Katan feelings, but know that they are fathomless, and I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall of that Kom’rk when Bo-Katan gives Ahsoka Mando History 101 with her own special sauce. Ahsoka is probably more up-to-speed on Mandalore than Boba, and at one point, she may even own more beskar than him! (n.b. After the crash, I think one of the first places Rex and Ahsoka bounce is just inside Mando space, to scope out the Sundari situation and maybe try to scramble a signal to Bo-Katan; she’d have the goodwill to at least get them back on their feet if she can’t help them lay low herself. For a variety of reasons worth maybe ficcing down the line, they aren’t successful.)

I don’t really have a concluding statement except, I just think Bobasoka’s neat :) They hit all my depressed-Millennial buttons.

Headcanon by bullet-point isn’t really my style, but this is tumblr so ... tl;dr:

They recognize a lot in each other, even if they’re slow to admit it, if ever. Boba’s a cagey bastard and Ahsoka doesn’t ever like him enough to be emotionally honest.

They bump into each other during Ahsoka’s walkabout(s) ‘cause Coruscant’s Underworld ain’t big enough for the two of them. Without Slave-1, Boba couchsurfs at Nyx Okami’s garage, but he does his laundry at Rafa’s. He might even borrow the Martez’s new, useful friend for a job or two. 

Ahsoka eventually matures enough to be sensitive about her use of the Force on and around clones, and she definitely doesn’t use it around Boba. Definitely not during sex.

Boba is privately weirded out every time Ahsoka uses Mando slang she picked up off the clones or the Nite Owls.

Boba absolutely kills Cad Bane in that shoot-out, keeps the hat, and lets Ahsoka have it. She shoves it out the airlock and uses it for target practice. 

So many great smut flavours! Hatesex. Acquaintances with benefits. “You’re traumatized and touch-starved and you look just like him/them, and I know how to be gentle and what to do, so maybe we could … ?” They’re both privately comfortable with their bodies and sexuality, but Boba’s got trust issues a parsec long and Ahsoka’s lost confidence; it’s always an awkward affair, but desperation wins out.

They exchange comm codes every time they run into each other, which is kind of pointless because they both use burners.

Ahsoka hitches a ride on Slave-1 more than once. There really is only one bed, so it’s either sleep upright, sleep in a pokey prisoner hold, or sleep with him.

For a few years, Boba can pass as a last-generation clone — the ones that got sold off in bulk units to slavers before Kamino sunk another three years’ food, board, and training into them. Boba pretends he doesn’t notice, easy to really, since he tells himself his helmet is his face. But occasionally, when Ahsoka can convince him there’s profit in it, he agrees to play sleeper agent and assists in liberating a few here and there. 

They don’t talk about Aurra Sing.

When an Imp really crosses him, Boba passes on intel to Ahsoka to ruin their day.

Once, when they’re both super skint, Ahsoka volunteers to get handed in to some relatively minor and out-of-the-way Imperial garrison, so Boba can collect, bust her out, and split the pot with her. It’s the closest she ever comes to telling him “I trust you” — and when he brushes the idea aside, citing something about risk, it’s the closest he ever comes to telling her “I love you.”

Boba sees Inquisitors as muscling in on his game. There are so many lousy Force-users around nowadays, it should be easy pickings, but Inquisitors get privileged information. So he makes sport out of misdirecting them, especially from Ahsoka. 

When he pisses her off, Ahsoka fantasizes about Bo-Katan taking Boba down a peg or two while she watches :)))

Boba experienced Ahsoka’s heat once, secondhand through a cabin wall. He thought he was being clever by shooting Rex up with some Nevoota stim pollen, locking him in with Ahsoka, and hijacking their locked ships. Longest three days of his life, limping on broken hyperdrives and shared fuel stores to the nearest waystation to a soundtrack of violent lovemaking : \

Bounty hunters invariably bump into spies and agents because they work in the same areas. The agents pretend to be bounty hunters, eccentric business people, sex workers, or a range of other things. Sometimes each party knows all about the other, but it’s only polite not to mention it. This happens to Ahsoka and Boba A LOT, especially once she becomes Fulcrum; rebel cells and Imperials often want the same people. Occasionally they exchange fire. A couple times Boba gets imprisoned in Ahsoka’s own brig. Once, Boba blows her cover and definitely lives to regret it. 

(this essay was originally punctuated with pics, but replies with images won’t show up tumblr tags so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn… 

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[fmasecretsanta2020]

Interest Check Questions Answered!

Mods Tas, Waddi, and Flour have reviewed your interest check responses, adjusted our rules and schedule, and are ready to respond to all your questions about the event.  To begin, we’ve pulled quite a few questions from your interest check responses and are publicly answering them below the cut.

Want to learn more about out the 2020 FMA Secret Santa?  Check out our FAQ, rules and schedule.

Have a questions about this event?  Don’t be shy!  We’d love to respond.  Send us a tumblr ask!

‘Tis almost the season!  Sign-ups open on Monday, October 19, 2020!

I’m new in all of this, so I’d like to know what’s the purpose of the check-in dates. What do we have to do in those?

The first check-in is just to make sure that you are still interested in participating and are ok with your assignment. We understand that real life can get in the way sometimes. We ask that people let us know as soon as possible if they think they need to pull out. The second check-in is to ask when the gift will be posted. The reason for this is that last year we had several dropouts who confirmed they were going to make a gift at check-ins but did not post a gift. The second check-in will allow us to assign to pinch-hitter sooner.

-Mod Waddi

Maybe the second check-in is too close to the posting time? If a pinch-hitter is needed.

Thanks for your thoughts, anon.  The second check-in is a little late, and we will adjust our schedule to give you five days between the second check-in and the posting period.  However, we are keeping it at a later date for a pretty good reason.

Unfortunately, we assigned most of our pinch-hitters at the end of the posting period last year.  We had several dropouts who confirmed with us at our midpoint check-ins but did not post a gift.  To avoid that this year, we’re having two check-ins, and at the second check-in, we will ask you when you plan to post.  We understand that some people need less time than others to complete a gift, but everyone should have started and have an ETA for completion five days before the posting period.  A late second check-in might help us make sure everyone receives a gift on time!

-Mod Flour

Could you perhapse have multiple days for assignments incase someone has a personal issue with someone they are supposed to make content for and can let you know?

We certainly understand where you’re coming from with this suggestion.  Unfortunately, since we give people 72 hours to respond to each moderator contact (and we will be asking our participants to confirm that they accept their assignment), separate assignment days would have to take place over (possibly) weeks—6 days at least for 2 assignments, 9 days for 3 assignments, 12 days for 4 assignments, etc.—if we waited for each wave of participants to accept before moving on to the next.  We feel that this approach would significantly cut into the creation period.  Additionally, the sign-up application will provide a space where you can list people that you do not want to receive a gift from or make a gift for.  We encourage everyone to be honest on their application, and if someone is uncomfortable with the person they are assigned, contact a moderator sooner rather than later.

-Mod Flour

what about art styles that don't really do clean lineart but do include colors/complexity/etc, or multiple sketchier drawings/comic strip type things?

Thank you for this feedback. As writers, we appreciate you pointing this out. We will do our best to take this into account.

-Mod Waddi

A minimum of 8 gifs could be a lot if it's an edited gifset. I can see it being okay for a slightly colour-changed gifset with a filter over it, but for more creative gifs it can be way too much.

Thank you for this helpful feedback!  This is exactly the kind of thing we want to hear.  Admittedly, all three moderators are writers.  We do our best to make good rules, but sometimes we don’t take all the variables into account.  We’ll lower the minimum from 8 to 4.

-Mod Flour

I tend to write a lot when I get excited; would it be a problem if I write more than 1k?

Not a problem at all! We totally understand this excitement and allow our Secret Santas to produce at or above the required minimum for their specific type of gift. When creating these gifts, please take into consideration your assigned person’s likes and dislikes.

Two things to keep in mind:

1) Please consider the number of days for creation (a maximum of 47 days). Assignments will go out on November 15, with two check-ins occurring on December 1 and December 15. All gifts must be 100% complete before posting between December 21, 2020 and January 1, 2021.

2) If you decide to produce your gift above the required minimum, please do not expect your Secret Santa to do the same. As long as they meet the minimum requirement, it is considered a complete gift.

-Mod Tas

I think they're mostly fine, although, would ships that have them meet when one is a minor and the other an adult, but they're currently both adults be allowed? I understand that this exchange is a way to build bridges in the fandom, but I'm not sure if that's going to work if one of the most popular ships is completely excluded.

Yes, as long as you portray both characters as adults when including romantic or sexual content in your gift, you are free to ship whoever you’d like to (besides incest) no matter when they met.  Our rules prohibit major/minor sexual or romantic relationships—minor meaning 17 years old and under and major meaning 18 years old or older.  As long as you’re not including sexual or romantic tones that take place when one character is a minor within your otherwise adult/adult ship gift, we’re good.  Keep it all non-sexual and non-romantic until both characters are adults.

(As an aside, some people may remember that this exchange had an additional exception for major/minor shipping for small age gap relationships last year; however, no one took advantage of that exception, and it complicated the rules quite a bit.  Therefore, we decided to draw a hard line and leave it at that.  There’s no judgment there; we’re just trying to craft rules that work for most people.)

Please also keep in mind that we also allow alternate universes and canon-divergent situations in this exchange.  A hallmark of fandom is being free to imagine!  We feel it would be almost impossible (and unfair to the differing, though equally valid points of view in the FMA fandom) to set ages for every character and then to enforce such a restrictive rule.

-Mod Flour

I think the exchange should allow M and E works, and to create/receive them you have to be 18+—but in order to not pressure minors to self-identity, have the question of whether they're over 18 be optional. (So it's basically, "If you're interested in NSFW and meet the age requirement, check this box.") And unless I misread the definition of pedophilia, it seems to exclude kid/kid relationships. Which I don't personally enjoy, but I know some people like kidfic or "through the years" fics, which are pretty harmless IMO as long as they're not physical/sexual.

We hear you anon.  My fellow moderators and I have had many conversations about the rating of this event.  We think it’s best to stick to a blanket PG-13 rating.  However, there is a footnote that you might be interested in:

This Fullmetal Alchemist Secret Santa Gift Exchange takes no stance regarding “Mature” or “Explicit” content added to the original Secret Santa offering. Please post additional content separately from the Secret Santa offering (separate reblog, post, or additional chapter). Such additions or continuations are at the discretion of the gift giver.

The second part of your comment requires a more in-depth analysis.  While there are some restrictions, kid/kid ships are not completely excluded.  We exclude sexual interest, sexual attraction, or sexual relationships between any character and another character who is 13 years old or younger.  We don’t have many shipping exclusions for characters who are 14-17 years old as long as they are shipped to other 14-17 year old characters.

Specifically, our rules prohibit pedophilia (which we define as a sexual interest, sexual attraction, or sexual relationship by any character to a character who is 13 years old or younger) and major/minor sexual or romantic relationships.  While we regret that the pedophilia definition is overbroad, in that it can define someone under 16 years old as a pedophile, subdividing the rules further would make them even more complicated.  To grasp the intent of both the pedophilia rule and the major/minor exclusion as it affects kidfics, look to our wording, particularly the part where we say sexual interest, sexual attraction, or sexual relationship.  

To wit, sexual can be defined as, “relating to the instincts, physiological processes, and activities connected with physical attraction or intimate physical contact between individuals.” For example, if an 8 year old and a 9 year old hold hands and walk down the street having thoughts about how special they are to each other, we would not consider this sexual.  If that same 8 year old and 9 year old hold hands and think about wanting to act intimately while jaunting down the street, we would consider that sexual.  Innocent physical contact alone wouldn’t break the rule; it’s a character’s intent that matters most here.

Therefore, a participant can make a through-the-years work with a prepubescent setting included so long as any kid/kid shipping is not sexual in nature.  To the extent that these rules may appear to allow romantic relationships between minors of all ages, all I have to say is that it wouldn’t be PG-13 to have a 9 year old with a romantic, albeit non-sexual, interest in a 16 year old (or vice versa).  I haven’t run across a a lot of media with older minors being romantically linked to younger minors in the fandom, so I’m hopeful that we don’t need to be too worried.

Oh my, that was long.  I hope that helps explain our rules a little better.

-Mod Flour

Just a question: out of curiosity, will this event be having a discord server or some other way for the members to talk to each other?

There will be no discord server for this event. Several reasons include:

1) Secret Santa identities should remain anonymous until posting dates. No participant should be able to figure out who their Secret Santa is,

2) we want to avoid conversations which may allude to a participant’s specific gift,

3) after a long consideration, the moderators have decided that this year’s event will be conducted via Tumblr platform only. All participants will need to have a Tumblr account in order to be contacted via the chat.

-Mod Tas

there are a lot of options for the type of gift that can be created-- can the person being gifted ask to have a specific gift (ex: art only)? thank you

Yes, the person being gifted can request for a specific gift. However, the sign up form will also ask for a backup gift type that the participant is willing to receive. The mods, to the best of our abilities, will match up a participant with a Secret Santa who will be able to produce said gift.

Assignments will go out on or after November 15, 2020. Should you have any concerns with the person assigned to you--their gift requests or otherwise, please contact one of the mods as soon as possible.

-Mod Tas

Will there be an option (if ships are allowed) to opt out of ships of adult/minor characters over the age of 13?

The sign up form will ask your likes and dislikes (i.e. favorite pairing or preferred genre), including what kind of gifts you are not and are willing to receive. If you prefer to opt out of a specific type of pairing, please note it during sign up.

Based on the rules of FMA Secret Santa 2020, “Media containing, suggesting, or portraying incest,* pedophilia**, or minor/major sexual or romantic relationships*** is prohibited.” The age of majority is defined as 18 years old.

Adult & minor relationships, which are non-sexual, non-romantic, and bear no indication that it would become such, are allowed. We are also allowing alternative universes, which may include characters depicted as younger or older than their canonical age. If a fanfic or a fanart depicts canonically minor characters as adults, they will need to explicitly state this.

-Mod Tas

If you are looking for other moderators to help facilitate, I'd be interested in filling out an application.

Oh, thank you!  This is a really kind offer. We decided earlier this year not to run formal moderator applications, and we are unsure if we need any other moderators at this time.  However, we may review this.  If you’re interested in helping out, just message @waddiwasiwitch or @flourchildwrites on tumblr, and we’ll go from there.

-Mod Flour

I haven't participated in this before so I don't know if tvis is already a thing, but I think that during sign ups you should have the chance to write a list of topics, characters, and ships that you would rather not do for the exchange, because there's a difference between respecting ships from a distance and having to draw your notp.

Yes, an option for specifying likes and dislikes will be available in the sign up form. This is the case for both what gift you will create and receive. We will be matching people whose interests align, and we will take likes and dislikes into account. The more information provided in the form, the easier our job will be.

-Mod Waddi

Manga edits/colorings okay?

Yes, that's a wonderful gift!  In fact, we're going to add manga edits/colorings to the category of gifts available by a recipient’s request or suggestion just to keep the idea at the forefront.  If a participant requests a manga edit/coloring or if they say they are flexible on their application and you indicate you'd like to make one on your application, we'll do our best to send you their way during matching!

-Mod Flour

Are sculptures ok with this?

That is a very interesting question. As this gift exchange is entirely digital and doesn't involve physical gifts, we are unsure what that would look like. Us mods were talking about it, and we were wondering if it would be possible to show us an example of what a gift like that would look like. Please get in touch with either myself @waddiwasiwitch or mod @flourchildwrites by Tumblr message. We would need to know more to answer your question. When a gift is unusual, it means we need participants who will be open to such a gift too.

-Mod Waddi

[itsclydebitches]

1. I guess my point is more they're no shortcuts to art. If you want to be a writer professionally. You want to live off your stories. Then you need to have a bunch of shit stories written down first which means you have to start writing those shit stories first. Thats true for all art. Fail faster as they say. Fuck up today and the next day so years from now you have all this knowledge that only fuckups can teach you.

I think it’s that last part that people (myself included) struggle with: “keep that drive to learn from those failures.” Drive needs to come from somewhere and unless you’re hyper focused on a single dream like some shonen protagonist, drive often comes from improvement itself. It’s easy to acknowledge on an intellectual level that you need to fail to improve, but if you’re struggling to see that improvement you’ll start thinking, “Okay, I was told improvement is the reward for failing so often, but I’m not getting that... so why am I bothering to keep this up?” 

To provide a personal example: I suck at math. I really suck at math. We can claim there’s no such thing as “natural talent” all we want, but the fact remains that my brain is not wired to learn math as easily as it learns something like English. Does that mean I can’t learn it? No, but my learning curve is going to look staggeringly different from someone who picks these concepts up more easily and has an easier time remembering them when new concepts are thrown into the mix. What they master in a week might take me months to master - and then mastery on my end requires far more consistent work and practice than it does for them. I literally had a teacher pass me once not because I was actually passing the tests, but because he could see I was putting in twice the effort of my classmates for less than half the reward. So sometimes failure - though obviously necessary - interferes with that drive. If you don’t have such a solid dream that nothing can make a dent in it (I will become a mathematician no matter what!!) or if you don’t have a separate drive helping you along (I need to pass this class to keep up my GPA because my GPA leads to other things I do really want)... that interest can quickly flag. My math is someone else’s drawing. Or writing. Crafts, etc. Everyone has to create bad things in order to start making good things, but if you’re still creating bad things after six months and another friend who started with you is creating decent things in that same time period, it’s hard to keep going purely on the knowledge that you will get better... even though you haven’t seen that yet. 

Which is why I think it’s important to not just remind people that they need to practice, everyone starts out creating bad things, etc. but to also provide different kinds of drives when people inevitably hit these roadblocks. Change the definition of what “good” is to include creations that are achieving something you enjoy even if they’re not yet achieving other markers of “excellence.” Remind yourself and others to look back at old work because it’s often hard to see any improvement when you’re neck deep in your own creation. Make sure to interact with art - reblogging, leaving comments, etc. - so that artists know the steps they’re taking are appreciated, even if those steps feel really, really small to them. It’s one thing to understand that everyone needs to practice, it’s another thing entirely to drum up the time, energy, and will needed for practice when, from your own perspective, it doesn’t seem to be moving fast enough or perhaps doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere at all. Which is why we need to create a culture where artists can call on other kinds of drives when “I need to practice” fails them. Create communities where people can make themselves accountable with deadlines. Interact positively with works so that there’s reward attached to the act of practice. Provide reminders and concrete examples of where improvement has happened. In my experience at least, stuff like that is more beneficial in the long run. If a bad fic of mine gets a single comment then I’ve got a drive to practice writing more because look! Someone liked it!! If, however, a bad fic gets no comments (or worse, nothing but criticism), it’s far harder to work on just, “I need to practice so that people will like my stuff later. Hopefully. Theoretically...” 

[bigskydreaming]

So, for Lightning Crashes, can I ask why you went with the choices you went with? Why Ethan & Aiden? (I was under the impression you didn't like them) Why the whole thing with Kali? What happened in Beacon Hills to get everyone together without Scott by the time the story starts. Why the Chimeras as Scott's primary pack? I just reread all five chapters and I'm insanely curious as to what your thought process was because its insanely addiciting.

LOL I’ll have to tackle this in parts so as it not to get too long, but shorter answers first:

1) Why Ethan and Aiden - this one’s pretty simple actually, as its due to what I often say about rarely disliking CHARACTERS so much as just specific ways characters are written. There’s almost no character I can think of offhand that’s just literally someone I can’t think of ways to write them that I’d find likable, interesting or compelling....pretty much all of my frustrations with characters stem only from them so often being written contrary to that, or even more often than not, like....my frustration or dislike of them is just carry-over from being so fed up with other people justifying, glorifying or clinging to the very things I despise about how they’re written.

*Shrugs* The funny-not-really-funny-so-much-as-just-obnoxious thing about Ethan and Aiden is they always had the ingredients to be potentially interesting and even sympathetic characters. Literally the only thing the show had to do differently in order to make me like them instead of dislike them is....not make them complicit in Boyd’s death, let alone then have that complicity largely dismissed or ignored afterwards.

And since I, like an intellectual, simply choose not to have fanfic ideas where Boyd is dead (with the literal exception being Carnival of Souls, since that one is basically entirely about the various character deaths Scott himself felt a degree of guilt towards as of the time he died in S5, with the point being ‘hey what if these characters got to flat out say, oh no, its totally fucked that we’re dead and there are people who absolutely should feel guilty about that but you are pretty much the only one who SHOULDN’T, so make like you’re Lazarus, get up and go give everyone else hell about this instead of settling for staying in a hell of your own making cuz you think you deserve it)’......

Like, that’s really all it takes. I write a version of the show where Boyd is alive and the twins didn’t do a damn thing to him or the others around for 3A, and I have no problem writing a version of those characters that I like instead. Its basically like making every fic a fix-it fic where one of the fixes being tackled is “how do you keep certain characters from being disliked or hated for antiblackness,” and the plot twist is “don’t write them being antiblack.”

Course, I still have trouble coming up with premises or angles from which to write them in any canon-based story that DOES take 3A into account, because like, it doesn’t matter HOW I write them at that point, the characters I’m writing still contain in their core premise of ‘this is who the character is as of the start of this story’ the fact that they were already complicit in Boyd’s death, and thus there’s no getting around the fact that like, any kind of positive approach to their characterizations at that point in MY mind still carries at least some degree of like....me ‘forgiving’ them for their part in Boyd’s death or deciding that ‘they’ve suffered/tried to make up for it enough’ by that point, and like...that’s just not something I’m remotely interested in writing, because frankly, I don’t think its my place to decide that or that my take on what that looks like matters worth a damn.

But AU Ethan and Aiden who never even met Boyd until Chapter 4 of my own story....they’re more or less just Ethan and Aiden shaped characters with similar dialogue patterns, as far as I view them while writing. 

(Also, it literally was in large part just a logistical thing as well. Like I actually started writing LC back in S4, and part of the whole premise was I wanted Scott to have his own other pack formed from actual characters who I could pull from elsewhere without taking away from the pack that might conceivably have formed in his absence. I made up Diego because having a Calaveras present is literally a plot point to address problems I had with S4 and its (lack of) aftermath, but I wanted everyone else to at least come from the actual show, and there were only so many characters that were actual options at that point. So its more like logistics is WHY I used Ethan and Aiden, but the above reasoning is why I was able to despite my dislike of them on the show, and without the latter - I think at least - influencing how I wrote these particular versions of them.

The thing about the chimera members of Scott’s pack is I actually went back and REWROTE everything as of Chapter 2 and edited the new versions in to replace what I’d had, in order to include them, because like.....you know me and my fixation on smaller/less utilized characters and their untapped potential. I liked all the chimeras from day one because there was so much that could be done with them and once it was apparent the show really wasn’t going to do much with them period, I decided well instead of writing a whole separate fic in order to explore their characters more, I could just integrate them into Lightning Crashes and tackle a whole bunch of werebirds with one stone, y’know? And then I decided ‘oh no, but I love them’ and I realized too late that adding eight additional characters to a story like LC would almost inevitably add another 100K of plot and sideplots, because what is brainpower even, other than a myth or a Tall Tale, y’know?)

The whole thing with Kali is just a mix of plot and personal issues and projection-upon-the-main-character, and its not the first time I’ve written that particular premise nor is it the last. I’ve done it with Dick Grayson fanfic as well of course. Its kinda just a thing with me. That trope I often come back to for non-trope reasons. There’s a lot of complicated reasons for that, some that are of course pretty obvious but others that are less so, and its a bit much to get into in depth. By which I mean, of course I will, I have no filter and that’s been too well and too long established to bother with one now plus the thing about being so casual about when I’m writing my own issues into fanfic means its not like people aren’t going to draw their own conclusions anyway even if I don’t elaborate so there’s not really any real point not to, lolol. Other than time spent doing so, which means I’ll do that later. 

Since now, answering the part about how things worked out differently back in Beacon Hills to lead to the Hale pack forming the way it did while the LC McCall pack formed elsewhere, has inevitably lead to me pulling out the LC file and actually working on it, with the DG story in question as well being open in another window now, because hot tip, the real most effective way to get me to update or add more to literally any story ever is just to get me talking about it. Since it re-energizes me about whatever I was thinking about or wanting to write about that led me to start it in the first place, and also since I’m a perfectionist who ultimately turns to story-telling because I think whichever way I go about writing one IS the best way for me personally to say whatever it is I want to say with one, this inevitably gets me going hang on, there’s a better way to describe what I’m talking about here and its like, via writing the actual story, so hold my beer, gotta go do it right or what’s even the point of answering lololol. Ohhhhh, meeeeee. I’m so deep and inscrutable, honestly what the fuck.

[millennial-ring]

Can we get more on the three P's? Pain, Pride, and Pure?

           17. PAIN

So this is actually the document where I saved the RP where Bakura came back to find Malik engaged to Seto, aptly named “PAIN” because it’s...fairly angsty. Me and this friend used to RP on Skype, making new group chats with side accounts before deleting them and leaving the two of us (which is so unnecessarily inconvenient lol but it’s what we had to do so we could rp multiple things at a time/not lose the rp in our regular group) and whenever we finished or got bored of an RP one of us would sit down, scroll all the way to the top, and copy and paste the entire thing into a word doc for re-readability. We rp’d it for well over a year, if not longer, so there’s no way to really reread it and condense it into a summary because sooo much happens. I guess highlights that I remember (or at least thing I remember fgjkdjh? we started this rp in 2016)

Bakura gives Malik a necklace he made himself (instead of a ring) before they part ways and Malik ofc keeps wearing it even after Bakura comes back and screams at them. There’s one scene early into the power relationship (when Malik still considers them fuck buddies) where Malik jumps into bed with Ryou, shoves his phone into his face, and starts screaming about Seto’s “you’re adorable” reply to a no-make up, bedhead selfie Malik had sent (bc how dare Seto be cute and do romantic things like that and kiss Malik’s hand and feed Malik chocolate covered strawberries before sex and buy him jewelry when they’re just fucking!) and Ryou’s just like “oh my fucking god just date him already gtfo my room I want to sleep.” Uhm... Malik and Seto are in the middle of wedding planning (visiting Isis and Rishid in Egypt at the time) when Bakura comes back, but they’re talking about a spring wedding in one of the parks/gardens in Seto’s neighborhood and Seto makes a comment about having the ceremony under the wisteria tree because he wants to see wisteria blossoms in Malik’s hair. Malik imagines brushing stray petals from Seto’s hair as they lean in for the kiss that will bind them for life - and then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE. Bakura passes out after using all his energy to scream at Malik (bc he JUST returned from the shadows, having had to go through multiple trials and actually give up some of his memories to be able to return) and they put him in the guest bedroom while Malik calls Ryou for help. While they wait for Ryou, Bakura wakes up and crawls out the window and runs away LOL. Uhm... Malik has a fluffy white therapy cat, ykno one of those grumpy looking smoosh faced ones, named Bakura. At some point while they’re still in Egypt Ryou takes Bakura to Kul Elna, where there’s a monument/memorial to the people that died in the massacre, and a very close knit community. Ryou takes Bakura to a community garden run by a pregnant woman named Adela who also owns a restaurant there - the food grown by the locals is used in the restaurant and iirc there was also some kind of donations thing going on where struggling families could come and take whatever they needed provided they bring back seeds or the scraps for compost or help a bit in the garden or something like that. I don’t think we ever made it explicit but we were pretty much implying that Adela was Bakura’s Actual Mom reincarnated. I think Bakura was also around for the birth, but I can’t remember much of it aside from him holding the baby. But the modern Kul Elna village actually practiced a lot of the old traditions and Bakura’s like “whoa... fuck it I might move here”. Uuuhh Bakura tells Ryou how every family in Kul Elna had a special “tzai” (tea) recipe and it could only be shared with people close to said family...before he makes some for Ryou. I think my friend got this from Star Wars? But I like it and we’ve included it in basically all our rps since. Uhm~ At one point Bakura kisses Malik and Malik slaps him and that’s how Bakura knows It’s Really Over. Malik and Seto play rock paper scissors to decide who bottoms every now and then, but it’s moreso a way to say “I want to bottom tonight but for some reason my pride keeps me from saying it outright” (dear 2016 us: bottoming is not shameful!) but also we never rp’d it, it was part of a time skip, but Malik and Seto had a threesome with Ryou and Ryou ate Seto’s ass. That’s all. We had Atem coming back and I remember he wanted to try and smooth things over but whenever Bakura saw him he had a panic attack. Uhm...that’s all for now lol, I can’t really remember much else.

             18. pride

Unfortunately, again, this is not a document about prideshipping. Every so often I get emotional and I start writing emotional things that I think I’ll post to Facebook, but then I either chicken out because I don’t want to be known or perceived. Let people continue to think I’m a hyperactive halfwit and have no deeper meaning to my thoughts. It’s chill. 

But this one was about the concept of LGBT Pride and how I felt about it, how startled I am sometimes when I run across support and acceptance in unconventional or unexpected places, how I worked hard to be comfortable enough to make the “because I’m gay” jokes out loud because growing up in a rural Kansas town I was exposed to my fair share of homophobia, both from family and from community, and even the people I called friends. It was gonna be one of those “wow I love my friends and family because now that I’ve weeded out the assholes I’m surrounded by love and support and this is exactly how much it means to me and why!” kinda posts, but I’m really bad at those, so this stayed in my WIPs. Maybe when Pride month rolls around again and I get nostalgic and emotional again I’ll finish it.

             19. pure

This one’s a “fic” written about mine and my friend’s OCs from an old superhero/supervillain RP group. My character, Zaine, was separated from his girlfriend, Tansy, during a battle with heroes that killed a lot of supers and civilians alike. They were reunited after a few years (both had assumed the other had died and somehow hadn’t run into each other at all asdkja, it was our excuse as to why the characters had changed so much (since we were coming back to rp these characters after a few years ourselves, and wanted to revamp them a bit without them losing their relationships or experiences). But in that time, Zaine became better friends with his buddy Forest, and before the gal who made Tansy rejoined the group, me and the guy who made Forest were debating if Zaine and Forest should get together. But Tansy came back and Zaine got back together with her, but I made it canon that Zaine was crushing on Forest prior to that/still a bit after Tansy came back. Zaine is in a band and it’s sort of a running joke that his band members are all betting how long it takes for a threesome or for Tansy (who’s a bit possessive) to attack Forest, and they constantly tease Zaine about how much time he spends with Forest, make “hey don’t fuel the shippers” jokes, some other stuff along those lines, etc. It’s all good natured tho.

Anyway that’s all canon. The fic was “pureshipping” - Zaine, Tansy, and Forest. It was kinda me exploring how a relationship might develop between the three of them and I was writing little bits for my friends at work based on the answers they gave me to the “How would they react to/feel about this” questions I asked before turning that into a proper story. 

It started with Tansy trying to remember when exactly she became open to the idea of polyamory, since as I said, she’s a bit possessive and got jealous easily. She recalls a night Zaine brings Forest back to their apartment after a bachelor party, with them plastered and barely able to stand. They fall down, and Zaine shushes Forest because Tansy has her laptop out and she’s working. Forest shushes Zaine back, they put their fingers against each other’s lips and keep shushing each other, drawing closer until the only thing separating their mouths are their fingers, and Tansy’s just like “whoa” and something clicks because A) she sees Zaine’s lids lower while looking at Forest the way they do when he wants to kiss HER and B) why is she not freaking out about this isn’t she a poisonous little viper that hisses at anyone that tries to flirt with Zaine? But nope, she’s never been jealous of Forest even if his and Zaine’s relationship is fairly intimate for what most consider friendship. And then a few days later she sees one of those memes that’s like “Zaine has two hands” (bc Forest is also a famous musician, and he and Zaine do a lot together, both professionally on the music front and in like. Idk, livestreams and general hanging out. so ofc weirdos ship them, and since Zaine and Tansy went public there’s gonna be ppl that include her in the weirdness) on a TVD fan page she follows so she understands some of Zaine’s inside jokes and she sees a comment from Zaine’s official facebook that’s like “these hands were made for holding!” 

and Tansy’s like. “Oh shit. Zaine DOES have two hands!” so a few days later over breakfast she asks Zaine how he REALLY feels about Forest and ofc he’s like “he’s my best friend???” and Tansy’s like “ok but no for real how do you REALLY feel about him” and then calls him out about about having a crush on him and Zaine, who’s canonically weirdly monogamous is like “no!!” but Tansy whittles him down until he admits he “HAD” a crush on Forest before he and Tansy reconnected, but swears nothing happened between them and Tansy’s like “WOULD YOU LIKE TO?” and brings up the idea of Zaine dating Forest, and Zaine’s like “I’m with you, Tans, I didn’t mean to make you feel inadequate” and she’s like “I appreciate it but not what I meant. I know you, Zaine, I know you’re a lover and not being able to tell Forest how you really feel is hurting you, so if you want to then I highly encourage you ask him out” and after like 2 whole days of debating Zaine comes back to her saying he was going to, and then a few days later they invite Forest over to have The Talk and Tansy says they’re free to date, but Forest is still mourning Kelvin, his fiancé that “died” ((in quotes bc these aren’t our characters to actually kill so all characters are just assumed dead if the roleplayer didn’t rejoin but ofc if they came back “hey surprise i’m alive!) in the war between heroes and villains and says he needs time to think about it. He thinks it over for two whole weeks -and in the meantime, Tansy is happy to see his and Zaine’s relationship hasn’t changed at all- before agreeing. They sit down to discuss boundaries and permissions and whatever, and this line: 

Tansy would never dream of forbidding them from doing anything that she and Zaine would do, especially because Zaine was a lover. He loved with all his heart, soul, and body, as if his purpose in life was to treasure his partners so thoroughly they would never question his feelings for them. It would be unfair to Forest and downright cruel to Zaine for Tansy to restrict them.

aaaa I know I wrote it but I love it. So after boundaries are discussed and all that Zaine and Forest have their first proper kiss, and it’s so sweet Tansy feels breathless alongside them. The three of them cuddle up to watch a movie but Zaine’s paying more attention to the two of them, taking turns kissing each of them while Tansy and Forest accidentally start competing for who can pull the most reactions from Zaine. Forest starts spending every weekend at Zaine and Tansy’s place and it always ends with them cuddling on the couch while watching movies, Zaine between them, but overtime Forest and Tansy become more affectionate with each other and end game was obviously the three of them, but I stopped writing it just after Forest spent the first night in bed with them.

Tansy smiled and looped her arm around Zaine, cuddling up to his side like a cat seeking attention. Zaine’s own arm found its way around her shoulders to keep her close. The last thing Tansy saw before her eyes dropped closed was Forest on the other side of Zaine mirroring her, and the last touch she registered was Forest’s hand brushing over her arm.

[gwentoryfics]

so you wanna start a writeblr...

i’m no pro, but here are some tips i have for anyone who’s interested in posting written content on tumblr! this is primarily relevant to kpop fanfic blogs, but some of the more general tips could certainly apply to other writers.

Pick Your URL

if you don’t have an account yet, making one is the first step! think hard about what you want your url to be. as you can see, mine includes the word ‘fics’ to make it clear that this is a fanfic blog, but that’s not a very common tactic. if you’re writing about a particular fandom, i’d recommend tailoring your url to that fandom. and i also recommend sticking with your url once you’ve picked it - i personally always forget who people are when they change their urls. it’s confusing for your followers so unless you have a really good reason to change it, just don’t.

Find a Theme

honestly, this is one thing i still struggle with lol. i think a lot of people probably access tumblr on their phones instead of computers, in which case this step isn’t really that important, but it’s always good to have a desktop layout that looks nice! you can poke around through the free themes that tumblr offers, or search for your own. personally, i just check out the blogs of people i follow from time to time. if they have a theme that i like, there’s usually a link somewhere on the page back to the theme creator’s blog, and then i’ll scroll through that blog looking for something that might work for me. probably the most important thing is to make sure your theme is text post friendly. you want your text posts to take up a lot of space on your screen so that they’re more easily readable - that means any theme that has more than one column is a no-go.

Build Your Bio

your bio should share some very basic info about you, such as your name (or a penname/persona), pronouns (if you’re comfortable sharing that info), and a link to your masterlist. if you don’t know how to add links in your bio, check out these steps. you might also want to include a “most recent” link so that your followers can easily locate the most recent thing you’ve written. and of course, feel free to include anything else that you want to be easily findable for your readers.

Post When Tumblr is Active

this might vary a little bit for everyone, and you’ll get more of a sense for this the more active you are on tumblr, but i’ve found that tumblr is usually most active around 7pm/8pm in my time zone (CST). that could totally be different for you. but try to get a feel for when people seem to be most active on tumblr, and take advantage of that by posting during the high times.

Format Your Posts

there are a few things you can do to make your posts look nice. one thing i highly recommend is creating a custom header image for your fic. canva is an easy and free resource that i like to use - just make a free account and then use their free templates and stock images to throw something together. if you choose to use something created by someone else, like a gif of an idol, make sure that you credit that person.

after your header image, definitely include info about what the reader should expect from this fic. this info helps readers decide if they’re actually going to read your work, so it’s very important that you’re clear. definitely feel free to steal my formatting - i always include genre, character pairing, word count, summary, warnings, links to other parts of the fic, an author’s note, and tags. although my summary is usually a full-fic summary, my warnings are specific to the part they’re posted in. you can indent this info to keep it separate from the body of the fic.

please, for the love of god, use a Keep reading break if your fic is more than a few hundred words. if you don’t use a Keep reading break, then everyone will have to scroll through the thousands of words you’ve written, and that’s SUPER annoying to people who aren’t actually interested in reading it (even if they plan on returning to it later). i’ve very intentionally decided to avoid someone’s writing because they didn’t use a Keep reading break, and having to scroll through it was such an inconvenience to me that i deemed their fics not worth reading. be considerate and use the break - bonus points if you keep all smutty content after the break!

last thing: figure out how you want to break between scenes. tumblr used to have a really simple line that you could insert between scenes to create a visual break between scenes, but it didn’t hide content the way the Keep reading break does. unfortunately, they took it away, so now we have to get creative. i’ve seen some writers just use a single asterisk (*) between scenes. i ended up creating my own scene break image in canva and i just insert it after every scene. this is what mine looks like:

whatever you end up using, just make sure it’s simple so it doesn’t draw too much attention.

Be Smart About Tags

figure out what tags are used for your fandom, and be sure to use them every time you post! i think the first five tags are the most important - i’m pretty sure those are the ones that your post can appear in when someone searches that tag. 

for example, my main fic is a smutty fic that features a few members of the kpop group pentagon. so depending on what happens in the part i’m posting, i’ll usually include tags such as: hongseok smut, wooseok smut, kino angst, hyunggu angst, hongseok scenario, hongseok fic, wooseok scenario, wooseok fic, kino scenario, kino fic, hyunggu scenario, hyunggu fic. 

Join a Network

this tip is a bit more kpop fanfic specific - i’m not sure what kinds of networks are out there for other writers.

networks are a great way to share your works with a wider audience, and they’re also a great way to meet other writers that are interested in the same things you are!

one of the best networks that i’ve joined is @ksmutclub. they have a big following, and they do a really good job of staying on top of reblogs. keep an eye on their blog to see when applications are open. i should also mention that, because it’s a smut network, they’ll only reblog smutty content. this network is also open to all kpop fandoms!

there are also other networks, like @uni-network​, which don’t actually require an application. if you create content for pentagon, tag it with #uninet and it’ll get reblogged. the only caveat is that they don’t reblog smutty content because they want the blog to be open to all ages. you are still welcome to use the tag, though - just keep your smut under the cut!

i’m also a member of @universenet​, but i don’t think they’re active anymore...

Follow Other Writers

this one might be hard to do depending on the size of your fandom, but if you can find other content creators, give them a follow! and if you enjoy their work, reblog it! your blog will benefit from you sharing content that’s not your own (as long as you’re reblogging, not reposting. you always want to give credit to the original creator). plus, you want people to interact with your blog, so do your part and interact with others, too!

that’s all i’ve got for right now, but i’ll add to this post again if i think of anything else! and of course, please feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions about starting a writeblr! i’m happy to help.

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello DeepShadows2 and welcome to Behind the Quill, I am pleased to have this chance to chat with you.

Many of our group’s members will know you as part of our Mod team but they might also know you as the author of Peculiar and of Good Night, Sweet Prince (written for our last Prompt Week of 2020!)

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I grew up in the martial arts and my 'warrior name' was 'kage urufu' or Shadow Wolf.  When I was in Creative Writing in high school, someone else was writing under that pen name, and they were more popular, and I was told I 'wasn't allowed to copy her name' by our teacher. So I went back and forth between some names and finally came up with DeepShadows. It is because during karate Kamp's ninja night games I would find the darkest spots in the camp and wait to sneak attack my enemies to steal their flags. The 2 comes from the fact that my first ever FF.net account got deleted because I put up lemons there instead of AFF.net.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Honestly, it is a mix between Severus, Draco, and Minerva. Each in their own way was in positions they would have rather not been in at one point in time, but made the best of those situations. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) Strangely enough, I am really into my 70s Feminist Sci-Fi. Like Darkover and Tanith Lee's 'Don't Bite the Sun' Series. As for Fic, I am into many scenarios and it changes according to my mood. Recently I've been into fluff slice of life.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Oof. Asking me to pick solely one is a crime. I have always loved Gone with the Wind. If I had to point at one, it would have to be it. But I honestly went over 15 titles in my head trying to decide which one would be the winner. 

At what age did you start writing?

I have been telling stories and writing them since I was young. I could read and write at age 4 because my grandmother wanted me to be ready for school. My first written story was at 5 ish and I still have my Crayola blue five-line story about a Unicorn named Pepper.

How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I got into fanfiction when I discovered that ff.net existed. My first fanfic is still up there under this pen name, but it is miles and leagues from my current quality. Spelling is still atrocious though.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

Honestly, hard to say. I love post-war fics. I love when the narrative is close to canon, but uniquely not, so it handles like it is an extension of the world and not a separate world. 

Theme wise, I am a sucker for hard-hitting drama.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I was into Kingsman, but not as a fic writer, but a Tumblr role-player. It's been a while, so mostly now I'm just back to being a Potterhead. It's where I began and where I always come back to.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Snape lives! You cannot tell me that a POTIONS MASTER who spends ALL DAY every day keeping students from POISONING themselves and who personally makes BLOOD REPLENISHERS for the infirmary would not have been prepared for an attack from Nagini. It is not secret knowledge that Drama King Voldy likes to have her do his dirty work and Severus would have been prepared for the off chance he was discovered and attacked. He lived.

My favourite piece of Fanon.... hmm... I like a lot of Fanon.  It's hard to put my finger on just one piece that I enjoy.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

Music! Nearly all of Peculiar was written to Folklore by Taylor Swift.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Cake and a Cup of Tea by Cybelle Somewhere I belong by .... I can't remember Not Only a Granger by my friend Ferporcel

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I am a Pantser. I have beats and thematic key points I know I want to hit, but the characters sort of fill out the story as I go. Sometimes I surprise myself with where I end up and I love that. Example: Draco/Krum was a total accident in Peculiar, but I love everything about it. 

What is your writing genre of choice?

Hurt/Comfort and Drama/Angst

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Peculiar and Good Night, Sweet Prince.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Oh, my goodness, the unexpected cropped up. Peculiar was only supposed to be a 25 chapter post-war, post-divorce AU that turned into this beautiful beast. Characters were created as I went, and some side characters became major plot devices or turning points. I learned that sometimes my brain knows what it is doing before I know what it is doing. There were hints and notes of what was going on that I wasn't even aware.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

There are points that are special to me.  It made it easier and harder to write.  Having experience with some subjects Hermione goes through makes it easier to translate the emotions into words, but simultaneously, some of those factors are trauma-based and I had to navigate myself through.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I draw influence from everything I read. That is a key reason I don't read anything similar to my current work while writing because I don't want to accidentally lift from someone else. 

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Two of my roommates are readers and I get people barging into my room after a post a chapter yelling 'OH MY GOD'. I also have a typed and printed review handed in person to me by my roommate that is on my inspiration board where she says 'Fuck you, but with love'. My entire friend group knows I write fanfiction and I get some of them to read it from time to time. My mom won't read peculiar until it is finished because she doesn't want to nag me for chapters.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

YES! I started Peculiar because I couldn't find what I was looking for. I wanted a high emotion, high stakes, drama and background rich fanfiction in which Hermione has completely broken and has given up on herself. Where she has nothing and no one and has lost that spark in her. I wanted Ron bashing where he is a villain and yet isn't the same time. I wanted Severus to be indifferent to her at first and slowly discover her suffering and set out to help her for the sake of the school, and it develops into more through feelings severed early on just after the war. I wanted her to have to overcome trauma and recover for herself, not for Severus, but instead with him and that they heal from their past together while facing continuous challenges that attempt to tear them apart. Along with other factors that haven't come to be yet, so I won't want to spoil.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I love my audience. It actually brought me here. Shout out to Geek and Tattoo for bringing me to this group’s Discord server. I answer every comment, I respond to any statements or comments I notice on social media. I'm an open person with my audience, which is why when I had to go on hiatus, I told them exactly what was going on.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Write what feels best. If you don't like what you are writing, no one else is going to.  If you don't want to write a certain scene but you need it, write an article or a letter about it. 

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I cry. Then I put on the music that inspired the story/scene and I pace my room, going over the potential dialogue and basically acting out what I think should happen until it sounds right.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yes. Many of my OC characters are modelled after some of my real-life friends. And some other events have easily transitioned into events that Hermione and Severus have gone through.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I am currently writing the next chapter for Peculiar. I won't give a teaser, but I will say that Hermione and Severus give Rita Skeeter a delicious taste of revenge.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Don't stop, but also be kind to yourself. Not every writing session is going to be your best, but you won't have better days if you give up. Also, if someone doesn't like what you write, forget them, as long as you are happy with it, that is what matters.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.