#i keep checking and double checking various sources

[sk1nnysuccubus]

also realized i haven't been sharing my cal intake these past few days, oops

wednesday: went out with my aunt, had a chicken sandwich. then later for dinner i had some shrimp alfredo. net: 972

thursday: had some alfredo for breakfast, walked for an hour and lost about 300 cals. then had some mashed potatoes and 2 chicken strips, which wasn't the best day ever. it made me go to about 1,200 calories that day.. (was my own fault, didn't count the calories properly). but because of my exercise, my net was: 881

friday: basically had microwaved sesame ginger cod all day- think i ate the whole box actually... oops. got close to 1,000 overall, but my net from exercise was: 692

and then today was: 3 pieces of salmon and a 10 cal monster. may or may not have something else very small, bc i feel like i've been eating way too much lately. about to do my exercises, but net as of posting this is: 390

[neechees]

Hi! Do you have any information about how to vet PayPal-based donation blogs based in Gaza? I got an ask from this user (screenshot below) and on their blog it seems that the only donation source is PayPal, but my understanding was that PayPal didn’t work there. I really don’t want to not help people because I misidentified their blog as suspicious but I don’t want to lead anyone to a false link or donation. Any help super appreciated.

First of, this user is a scammer. They're already on the scam list, and their pinned post is directly copying this genuine gfm (buy we know this can't be the person from the gfm, because the gfm doesn't link to this tumblr or offer that paypal the tumblr blog uses as a form of accepting donations)

Regarding vetting, I'll say, and this is important, that 1. I myself don't do the vetting, I call out the scams that are definitely scams and that I have proof of, and 2. The people who are doing the vetting are multiple Palestinian users on here (such as 90-ghost, nabulsi, el-shab-hussein-, & others) who have been on tumblr for quite some time, and who can confirm what Palestinian fundraisers are real because they either know them, know someone who knows them, or have talked to various Palestinians who have made new blogs and determined them to be genuine due to a number of factors. Most scammers are either not trying to talk to real Palestinians doing the vetting because they know they'll get caught lying (and many will block the users doing the vetting), OR the ones that DO are quickly found out anyway for various reasons (such as for obviously using something like Google translate).

But if you want tips on how to suss out who you think might be a scammer on your own, try these:

If a suspected blog claims to be "vetted and verified!" In their donation post or ask, go and look at their posts and blog: most genuine fundraisers who claim to be vetted will @ the users that vetted them, sometimes might even provide a link to a post of the vetter confirming them to be genuine, and/or you'll see a Palestinian user verbally confirming them to be genuine in the notes in one of their posts, OR you can go to a vetter's blog & look for their url. If they're actually vetted you'll find them there. Additionally, the person confirming them to be genuine MUST be a popular Palestinian user who is currently volunteering to be a vetter, it CANNOT be the suspected blog in question "verifying" themselves or any other rando. But many scammers are lying by starting off their post by saying they are "vetted" & sometimes even name dropping random users hoping nobody will double check to see if they're lying. Double check. You won't find any vetter in their notes confirming them to be real. If you're still unsure, don't interact with the blog or reblog their donation posts until you find evidence theyre vetted.

Go to the blog @kyra45 and have a look at our resources where Kyra helpfully gives tips on how to spot scams, and lists the really popular scammers & the stories they like to reuse. Also keep tabs on the "users pretending to be Palestinian" post there, where Kyra & others give daily updates on which users are scammers pretending to be Palestinian on the same post & give proof for why.

Connected to our resources post, but look at the tips posts, anc give the blog a scan to see if it fits any of the common red flags that of a scammer (and remember, these things have to be taken in context together, it can't just be one thing). Does the blog fit the description of any of the scammers we listed (such as one who constantly reuses the fake story of being a diabetic Palestinian & mentions humalog)? Does their paypal location match where they claim to be (such as, they say they're in the U.S but the paypal link says they're located in the Philippines)? Are they using a knockoff site instead of the more popular one (such as gogetfunding instead of gofundme)? Do they ONLY link to a paypal set to USD instead of a gofundme? Does their profile photo show up in another place but they're claiming its a photo of themselves (such as one I found where the photo belonged to a woman in Pakistan, & the scammer pretending to be Palestinian claimed the photo was of them)? Copy & paste the ask or parts of the ask they sent you: do other asks with the exact same or similar wording show up on lots of other answered asks in the tumblr search from now deactivated blogs? Does their donation post seem to have multiple replies, but the replies section shows nothing except a notification that says "some replies may be hidden or deleted", and/or replies are turned off? (<- this usually is an indication that this blog is a scammer, and people were calling them out, & so they hid those replies so no one could see the evidence). Does their url show up in the scam list? Things like that.

But if you're still unsure and want some help, and think a blog might be a scam, bring it to one of us scam busters (& there's about 8 of us currently active) & we'll have a look at it. If you think a blog might be real, visit a Palestinian vetter's blog and see if that url shows up. In the meantime when you still aren't sure, don't interact with blogs claiming to be Palestinian that you can't be sure are genuine.

[ofmdrecaps]

09/04/2024 - 09/05/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Nathan Foad; Samba Schutte; Leslie Jones; Kristian Nairn; Madeleine Sami; Vico Ortiz; Eliza Cossio; OFMD Rewind with AOC and Astroglide; Articles; Fan Spotlight; Cast Cards; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika;

Hey crew, multiple 2 day recaps coming tonight. Sorry for the delay.

== Rhys Darby ==

Rhys is going to be starting up a substack (similar to Patreon). He's really excited about it as you can tell-- Gizmo Darby is not so excited however.

Source: Rhys' Tiktok/Instagram

== Taika Waititi ==

Taika out in Paris with Rita <3

Source: Instagram

== Nathan Foad ==

Nathan off to see Matthew Maher at Rose City Comic Con and giving us all the feels on the way!

Source: Nathan Foad's Instagram Stories

== Samba Schutte ==

Heyyy! Samba's going to be at the Dream Theatre in Los Angelos on Oct 5th, 2024! You can get comedy night tickets on their website!

Source: Theatre of Hearts Instagram

Really cute story Samba shared about a fan on twitter btw!

Source: Samba Schutte's Twitter

== Leslie Jones ==

Leslie's coming to Colorado Sept 13! For all our OFMD Colorado crew, you can catch her at the Union Colony Civic Center in Greeley! For tickets, visit her site!

Source: Leslie Jones' Instagram

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian on his way to Rose City ComicCon!

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

Hey UK Crew! Kristian's got a signing set up for Oct 3 at the Forbidden Planet London Megastore! You can RSVP here if you're interested!

Source: Forbidden Planet Instagram

More Kristian News-- his book is being featured on Amazon and there's a great article highlighting it in The Washington Post! "Beyond The Throne as one of [Amazon's] Best Books of September"

Source: Kristian's Instagram

= Wee John Wednesday Notes =

Some fun OFMD News: He's gonna try to do a WJW Live at Rose City Comic Con in Portland this upcoming weekend (and drag some other cast members into it if he can).

Kristian shared some awesome gifts people gave him! (He said you do not have to bring gifts to meet him but he will always love them, but don't feel bad if you don't please!) Some I recognized from various artists we know (but there were a lot more):

@smudgeandfrank

@/samanthareiofficial

@/unclear_atypicality

@/bairnecessitiesco Kristian has a website with his books on it-- but he's got some limited edition Guitar Picks he's got on sale, there's only 100 available. He is also getting a WJW put up soon! Not available quite yet though.

Website

T-Shirt

LE Guitar Picks

Other fun things:

Kristian loves Rabbits!

He's getting some rune tattoos in Portland when he visits Rose City Comic Con!

Wanna watch it? It's available on Instagram!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristian Nairn (@kristiannairn)

Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram

== Madeleine Sami ==

Deadloch S2 is being filmed in Darwin!

Source: 'I Love Darwin' Facebook Page

== Vico Ortiz ==

Source: Vico's Instagram

== Eliza Cossio ==

One of our dear writers, Eliza Cossio is being featured on a podcast! You can listen in here!

Source: Eliza Cossio's Instagram Stories

== OFMD Rewind with AOC ==

Our friends over at @adoptourcrew are working together with @astroglideofficial and doing a Full Rewatch of OFMD together! It starts Sept 12 @ 2:30PM PDF / 5:30PM EDT / 10:30PM BST!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Articles ==

Thank you @adoptourcrew for sharing these great articles!

Most Controversial TV Show Cancellations

Yahoo Article

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Thank you to the ever-dedicated @melvisik for keeping up with these Cast Cards! Catching up tonight with several, please check them out below!

David Van Dyke - Visual Effects Supervisor (VFX Supervisor).

Stephen W. Shriver - Lovely stunt double to Fred Armisen!

Emily Buntyn - Casting Associate!

Kendell Wells - CJ's stunt double that whipped Taika in the balls!

Morgan Smith - Executive in Charge of Casting!

Stephen Bralver - Nathan's stunt double, possibly the one who 'lost his shoes' in Nathan's story at the San Jose Con!

Chris Denison - Stunt Water Safety, probably the person who makes sure our lovely cast stays safe in the whilst submerged.

Steve Aizzo - Rhys' Stunt Double!

Source: @melvisik's Twitter

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. Love Notes are brief tonight. I just wanted to remind you that kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and anyone else. It's not free, but it costs a lot less than most things. No matter how hard things have been, no matter how much kindness you've received, kindness continues to be one of the greatest world-changers and you're still trying to be kind, and I am so proud of you for that. You are so very lovely, don't forget that <3

Source: StayCloseToYourself Instagram

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Just some dancing... these two are too cute! Gifs courtesy of the darling @fandomsmeantheworldtome and @ marv3lic1ous!

[crownmemes]

Spy Sentences, Vol. 18

(Sentences from various sources for spies and/or secretive muses. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I understand you think I betrayed you, but I'm no longer the man you knew."

"You should probably be thinking about who hates you enough to want you dead."

"Surely it's worth sacrificing a little privacy to feel safe?"

"I sure wish I knew whose side you're on!"

"So, what do you do with a spy once he retires?"

"The fact that you won't explain explains everything."

"You have barely looked me in the eye. What are you concealing?"

"The government is hunting us! You are not appreciating the threat!"

"This is a closely guarded government secret. Only nine people in the world know about it."

"Don't tell me anything. The less I know, the safer I'll be."

"I don't know who you are or who you work for, but I don't care. I'm leaving."

"I fail to see what you hope to achieve with this approach."

"Is this some kind of interrogation?"

"The information in your head is priceless. I don't think you realise what a valuable property you've become. A man like you is worth a great deal on the open market."

"Just when you think you're too paranoid, you realise you're not paranoid enough."

"What am I supposed to call you?"

"I wonder if you even know you're lying."

"I miss when 'don't get killed' was the only thing on my to-do list."

"It's not time to die! Keep going!"

"You are still the most intriguing spy I have ever met!"

"If I told you, you would have just tried to talk me out of it!"

"I like you. You see everything and say nothing."

"I have limited tolerance for being ambushed."

"A lot of people want to know the reason behind your resignation. You had a brilliant career. Your record is impeccable. They want to know why you suddenly left."

"You don't lie to me. You're much too clever for that. You just hide."

"Of course, you have been checked, but when a man knows as much as you do, a double-check does no harm."

"We're all pawns."

"No, you're not doing this! You're going to kill yourself!"

"Why would I want to spy on him for you?"

"There are people in the woods. People who are watching me."

"Do you want to save your family? Come with me."

"I cannot afford spare time."

"Can a spy ever truly love?"

"Why didn't you say anything about this before?"

[cicerfics]

Headcanons: How knowledgeable are the MI6 staff about the workplace gossip mill?

OK, just ONE more headcanons post before Fest is done!

This one is about our favorite characters and their ability (or lack thereof) to stay abreast of the hot goss circulating at HQ.

Moneypenny: THE gossip queen of MI6. Knows all, sees all, but does not TELL all. She always has the 411 on what's going on with MI6 personnel, but she's very discreet. She plays her cards close to her vest, and generally turns a blind eye to matters that do not concern her, M, important political matters, or internal security. Still, whether she discloses her knowledge or not, she absolutely knows which canteen worker spent the night with which member of Accounting while his wife was out of town. 👀

Bond: Very good at keeping his finger on the pulse and his ear to the ground. Generally very knowledgeable about the MI6 gossip mill. However, he is hamstrung by the fact that he spends so much of his time abroad. He has several key employees (well-placed in various departments) that he checks in with whenever he returns to HQ. He applies to Moneypenny as well and tries to weasel information out of her. Nine times out of ten, his sources help him stay up to date!

(After his retirement from the double-oh sector, Bond and Moneypenny develop a hand-in-glove relationship. Bond scouts around and collects gossip from satellite government offices and various London hotels. Meanwhile, Moneypenny collects intel from committee meetings and whispers in the halls outside M's office. Then she and Bond have lunch meetings to swap intel. Bond is a great asset to Moneypenny's gossip empire!)

Q: Perennially oblivious to gossip. Knows literally Nothing about who is shagging whom, or who has a workplace beef with whom. He is VERY busy and important and occupied with everything from complex mathematical equations to budget proposals! He simply has NO TIME to dawdle in the breakroom and no desire to go to after-dinner drinks with the minions! He wants to go home to his cats and SLEEP!

Anyway, this leads to awkward situations where Q attends the office holiday party and naively asks a fellow department head if her husband is in attendance...not realizing that this particular employee had a quiet (though very bitter and contentious) divorce four months prior. Oops! R and Moneypenny take to briefing Q on a regular basis to help him avoid these embarrassing lapses.

R: Extremely knowledgeable about all goings-on in Q-branch. She is, however, utterly indifferent to anything outside her own kingdom. Could not care less whether that man in Accounting is cheating on his wife. However, she knows all there is to know about what the R&D interns and ballistics techs get up to in their free time.

Tanner: He oversees literally all Internal Security business and receives regular updates from multiple people (Moneypenny included). So he is very much up to date. Not interested in gossip for gossip's sake, though. He just wants to be sure nobody is doing anything that will jeopardize national security or leave MI6 open to a sexual harassment lawsuit. When it comes to personal matters between consenting individuals...well. Tanner is very expert at turning a blind eye.

He saw Bond and Q flirting while fondling a gun that Q was passing over to Bond? No, he didn't. He happened to be looking at the wall clock, and he saw NOTHING. Thank you for your understanding!

Mallory: I feel like Mallory is always on the cutting-edge of political gossip. He knows EVERYTHING about the movers-and-shakers in the government. Absolutely everything. He is always 100% caught up on that mess. He is significantly less knowledgeable about what his employees get up to, though. Most of his time is spent liaising with foreign intelligence agencies, pushing through requests for additional funding, or fending off the interference of MI5. For better or for worse, he relies heavily on Moneypenny and Tanner to keep him caught up on internal matters.

[shrinevandal]

Initial thoughts on Double and Neoplasm - Who is guilty? What's true and what's a lie?

Hello! This is a (fairly long, sorry) post analysing the MV for Double, as well as Neoplasm, and what it means for Mikoto, Orekoto, a potential 3rd alter, their relationship as a whole, and Mikoto's judgement.

Note: I am a system myself, I am usually not very open about this so please don't ask about the details. But I think it's important to state that I do struggle with a lot of the same stuff Mikoto* does, and so my perception of it comes from a level of understanding that singlets may not have.

Obviously this contains spoilers for both Double and Neoplasm, I would recommend you watch/listen to both beforehand. This is also just my initial interpretation, I have purposefully avoided any other posts about it to make my theory/interpretation as straightforward and from-the-source as possible.

Some terminology notes: I will be using John to refer to Orekoto, as Es has so thoughtfully dubbed him. Also, if I say MILGRAM in all caps I am referring to the project itself, and if I say Milgram in title case I am referring to the location/entity which Es works for. I also believe the 3koto theory, which will become relevant at various points here. Any translators or sources will be linked at the end.

Alright, let's get into it. Music video analysis:

Double - Visual Motifs

There are a lot of visual elements to Double, which I will break down into different sections.

Phone (& Tarot)

There are two major instances of Mikoto's phone being important in the song: Right at the beginning, when he's getting several texts and then an incoming call from "Chief" (almost certainly his boss), and in the middle of the song, when he gets a call from his mom. In the beginning, Mikoto* doesn't even look at the texts, and when he answers the call, he seems to barely be listening.

Translation of the texts are as follows (thank you rochisama on wordpress!):

- Regarding the first draft you submitted today, I think option B might be the best after all, so can you remake it by morning.

- Also, I forgot to mention, but you made a lot of mistakes with the one we spoke about earlier, so make sure it’s all fixed too. This one also needs to be ready by morning, so I’ll leave it to you to get everything ready.

- Oi, get back here now.

- Are you going to abandon your duties?

There are also two fun little details here with the phone: His lock screen is a picture of the Hanged Man, the same version that was on his shirt in MeMe:

Also, His battery is at 29%.

Two of prisoner nine.

Later in the song, when his mom calls him, he immediately picks up, greets her energetically despite the bags under his eyes, and informs her he's doing well and not to worry.

"Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah… well, I mean, some days are hard, but… I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off."

He also hangs up very quickly, as if he doesn't want to talk to her. He gives her placating words and then ends the conversation as soon as he can.

According to his S1 Interrogation questions, Mikoto's family consists of him, his mom, and his younger sister. His parents are divorced. He gets along well with both his mom and sister, but also states that he can't let his mom worry. This checks out with him hiding the truth from her, as letting her know just how badly he's doing would certainly cause concern. Keep all this in mind, it will become important later on.

Eyes

I don't have much of note to say about it right now, but eyes are a pretty heavy visual motif throughout the whole video.

One thing I will say about it, though, is the large eyes across the whole screen show up twice: Once as orange, symbolizing John, and then as a grey-blue, symbolizing Mikoto.

Colors

There are five important colors: Blue, Green, Red/Orange, and Pink.

I'm grouping red and orange because I believe they both symbolize John. Blue is obviously Mikoto.

As I've mentioned, I am a fan of the 3koto theory- The visuals in the MV for MeMe, and even the composition itself, allude to 3 different entities (Music theory nerd here, hehe - I wanna write my own take on the 3koto theory eventually and talk about the way the song itself changes, but that's for another time.) And now in Double, it seems like there is still that imagery, albeit much less strongly than before.

So green, like in MeMe, symbolizes Midori/Midokoto/whatever you wanna call him. Pink is a little bit of a weird one, so I'll get to that in the moment. Anyway, let's start with some John moments.

The red glow in the back shows that John is the one fronting in all three of these shots, with Mikoto being asleep behind him in the second one.

An example of blood splatters with an orange tint. This is part of the reason I think both orange and red symbolize Mikoto, since they're so interconnected here. Also, as mentioned in the eyes section, the eyes there are very orange whereas John is usually associated with red.

Speaking of eyes,

Huge 3koto implications in a few frames from this shot. John's body flashes green at one point, and the background and fire-halo are green when John's eyes are glowing orange. In the next image, the body's eyes are scribbled over in green. This scene in particular is very interesting to me, with both implications of Midori's existence and his connection to the eye motif. It also calls John "savior"

Here's another notable instance of 3koto near the beginning, right after John throws Mikoto's phone. Notice the color progression in the scene. Green background with blue text, down to red background and red text. John is clearly being portrayed as an outsider here, with Midori and Mikoto being a duo.

Going back to blood splatters, there are various points in the video where the "inverse" of the blood is either green or blue. This also checks out with both red and orange being John's colors; Blue is the opposite of orange, and green is the opposite of red. This also doubles (haha) as another example of John being the opposite of MikoMido

The train itself has a lot of green highlights. When John stares out the door into the other train cars, it flashes green a few times. It's not pictured here, but the door also flashes a staticky pink once, and so does Mikoto's body earlier in that same scene I showed where it's fully green.

Alright, more on pink now. I'm actually not entirely sure what it may symbolise, but my main guess is it's Mikoto's victims.

Aside from the instances mentioned above, these are the most prominent pink scenes in the video. Similar to how orange was juxtaposed against both blue and green, here it's against blue. In context, these scene also seems to me like a switch, a realization of what Mikoto has done. A brief instance where his memories coexist with him, and he's horrified at his actions.

Double - Overall Analysis

As pointed out in the colors section above, Midori seems to be very present still. He seems to be haunting the video in a way, lying just underneath the surface.

A really important aspect of DID that hasn't been directly addressed by MILGRAM is the fact that it's caused by childhood trauma, usually around the ages 9 to 10 or younger. For those who don't know, this is because young kids have not fully formed their identity and sense of self yet. Usually, kids will eventually consolidate all their various parts into one, which becomes their sense of self. But trauma literally changes how the brain works on several levels, and for some kids, that interrupts the process of those parts fusing together. (This is also why there's discourse behind the idea of an "original" personality - Which one is the "original" between a pair of identical twins, for example? One cell divided into two, so really neither of them are that first cell.)

My theory for Mikoto's childhood trauma and subsequent DID symptoms, is that Mikoto in his current form is the body's "first" alter, and that Midori was the original host. (I have several reasons for believing it's this and not the other way around, but it's not that important for this post. But do think about, "I'm already the fake one.")

We know that John specifically was created as a result of Mikoto's job stress, meaning he was obviously not around when Mikoto and Midori were kids. By the time the events of MILGRAM roll around, it seems like Midori is completely dormant, or at least very rarely fronts, as John seems to pretty clearly imply just his and Mikoto's existence in both Double and Neoplasm. But if John wasn't around when Mikoto was a kid, there has to have been at least one other alter throughout the course of Mikoto's life. You don't just suddenly develop DID at age 23 without having had it since you were traumatized (Unless the MILGRAM team is just clueless about DID, which is possible too but imo they've done a pretty decent job so far so I would rather believe in 3koto. I have faith in them, maybe that'll bite me in the ass eventually, who knows).

Mikoto's childhood trauma is not very clear, but I think it can be one of two main things, and they are likely connected: Either something to do with his parents' divorce, or the reason he is so against worrying his mom.

Mikoto clearly loves his mother a lot, but it seems like doesn't trust her on some level. He doesn't want her to worry, which is an understandable emotion, especially if she puts a lot of pressure on him to perform well, which I have a feeling is the case. (Full disclosure, I could be projecting my own experiences here, because I have had these same struggles with my own mom pressuring me to do well in school and such. But I think it's worth mentioning)

Mikoto clearly hates his job, but he doesn't get a new one. Referencing the Interrogation again, while he seems to enjoy the career path he's on (ie graphic design), the job he currently has is purely to make money, and not for his enjoyment. He also mentions in the Interrogation that he hopes someday he can start his own indie company. In the real world, it's actually very common for graphic designers to start with jobs in advertising, because it makes a lot of money. Then once they have enough to support themselves, they go on to projects they're more passionate about. So Mikoto's reasons for sticking with his advertising job could be either to make money or to satisfy his mom, or both. Again, I could very much be projecting here.

Now onto his dad and the divorce. I won't lie, I am not at all an expert in Japanese law, but I'm fairly familiar with US law because my mom is a lawyer here. So how it usually how it works in the US is that parents divide custody by either working out a schedule or by simply choosing which kid goes with which parent, unless one parent is abusive, in which case all kids go to the non-abusive parent. In Japan, however, apparently the mom is the default parent that kids go to, regardless of other situations, except in some extreme cases probably. Again, not an expert, but it seems that even if Mikoto's mom was abusive in some way, the court system would still give Mikoto and his sister over to her, especially if her form of abuse is purely psychological with no physical evidence. So this is one possibility, but even if both parents were good people and separated on friendly terms, divorce can be traumatizing for kids. It's unclear at what age Mikoto's parents divorced, but it seems to have been long enough ago that he doesn't even consider his dad part of his family. Meaning it's very possibly the main source of trauma that cause Mikoto's DID.

Neoplasm

Alright, finally it's time for the audio drama! This is a much shorter section, but there's a LOT here and I'm really excited about this one actually, because it seems like a step in the right direction for Mikoto and accepting John. He doesn't know it's DID, nor does Es try to tell him, but he acknowledges it as "sleepwalking", which is still super huge. If Kotoko and Es ever choose to inform him, it seems like they have a much better chance at getting across to him now than when MILGRAM started.

John being much more present and coherent is also big news, as he has a full on conversation with Es, and even receives a name from them. Although he expresses concern about this and "wishes he had stayed a monster", I honestly think this is amazing for both him and Mikoto. Along with the sleepwalking analogy, it's progress on their ability to accept themselves and each other.

John also sheds some light on his and/or Mikoto's murder, claiming that there were several indiscriminate victims, and that his memories are also fuzzy, citing that it's likely because he had only recently been born. To me, the most interesting part of this is the fact that John's memories are not intact. While he seems to think it's just due to not really being used to being alive, I think there's another explanation for it. Fuzzy memories are a very common symptom of DID, and most notably happens when one alter tries to access another alter's memories, often because they're being blocked. Maybe in a similar way to how Mikoto doesn't remember anything? 🤔

Another important thing here is that John claims that he is the one who killed people. But the most pressing question is, is he telling the truth?

We know that Milgram's criteria for what counts as murder and who counts as the perpetrator is very loose; For example, Yuno's abortions are enough to qualify her, and Fuuta doxxing Killcheroy is enough to qualify him. So it's not a stretch to think that maybe John really is the killer, and that Milgram just picked Mikoto as the person to be judged since he's the "main" alter. But this honestly doesn't sit right with me.

If there's one thing we know for certain about John and his dynamic with Mikoto, it's that he would do anything to ensure Mikoto's safety. Notice how he was incredibly nonchalant about the murder until Es pointed out that even with psychological evaluation taken into account, the death penalty is still very likely for Mikoto. As soon as they allude to Mikoto being in danger, John's attitude immediately switches, claiming over and over, very relentlessly, that he was the sole killer, and that Mikoto is innocent. His frantic behaviour is a very clear sign that this is survival mode; why would he tell Es the truth if it could put Mikoto in danger?

All of this really goes back to the major differences between them; Mikoto is honest and uses humor to cope, John avoids being open and lashes out at people. Mikoto straight up blocks all the bad memories, John is aware of them but has a hazy recollection of events.

So while it's a possibility that Mikoto is innocent and that John is the killer, I find it much, much more likely that Mikoto did it and then blocked his own memories, and that John is lying about the situation to protect Mikoto. It's what he's always done, after all.

Final thoughts - Forgiven vs Unforgiven

This may be an unpopular take, but I think as of right now, my first instinct is to vote Mikoto as Unforgiven. I'd like to point out that there's a difference between Innocent vs Guilty, which is how the terms are officially translated, but in Mikoto and John's case I think they are interconnected. There are cases in Milgram where I think they're completely separate ideas and cases where I think the difference is moot, and MikoJohn definitely fall into the latter one.

I also am very conflicted on the concept of Metavoting; for example, Amane being voted Unforgiven was an incredibly stupid decision on the majority's part and I'm not afraid to state that. (Tbf Her mental state is delicate enough that forgiving her would also not end well, but lesser of two evils imo. But all that's for another time.) However, with MikoJohn, again, it actually aligns very well with my actual judgement. John very clearly states that it's his belief that forgiving Mikoto will reduce Mikoto's stress, and allow John to fade away. Whether this is a good or bad thing, or neutral even, is pretty complex honestly, but I think for me personally, I would view it as a bad thing.

Again, I am not very open about my system-isms, but I relate a lot to Mikoto in his current state of being unable to accept John's existence. I was in that exact same position once, and for me, accepting the existence of my alters was very beneficial to all three of us, and we are much closer now and less stressed overall. If John continues to exist, that means Mikoto will have a chance to figure things out and accept John's existence. But if John fades, he may be still caught in that perpetual state of half-existence, with Mikoto being unable to accept him.

So with all these things together; the fact that Mikoto is the one we are judging and I am pretty sure he is the killer, the fact that John may fade if Mikoto is forgiven, and how that isn't a good thing in Mikoto's case, and the fact that - I am pretty damn sure I want to vote Mikoto as Unforgiven. This isn't the be-all, end-all, of course. We don't know if John's prediction is correct about disappearing, we don't know if voting Mikoto Unforgiven will actually have the opposite effect that I hope for and drive him to his breaking point, hell we still don't know who did it. My opinion may change because again, this is just my initial thoughts. I'd love to interact with other systems about this and see their thoughts and opinions. Thank you for reading if you made it this far!!!

Translations, Resources, Etc

Chief's texts, translated by rochisama on wordpress

Interrogation questions, referenced from the MILGRAM Wikia. I'm unsure of the translator, sorry.

A/V of Neoplasm, edited by ac on youtube, featuring translation by onigiriico

kayanomikotoba's Triokoto theory (fun fact, this post is one of the main reasons I got into MILGRAM!)

A quick overview on Japanese divorce law, specifically by the US foreign embassy but it's good enough for my purposes

[bluffempire]

please elaborate more on your grace chastity ocd hc :)

hi anon, thanks for the ask!

this will be a doozy. i know i said i wouldn't write an essay but apparently i lied. i will be talking about religion, ocd, death (murder), and sexual thoughts, so proceed with caution. while i can offer some personal insight, i am not an expert, just a psych student with too much time on her hands!

one thing that sticks out to me is the pattern of grace's behaviors and how they are rewarded. this is the main thesis of fencecollapsed's video about her, and i highly recommend checking them and that video out. grace follows her moral code, and ends up "saving the day".

we see this in abstinence camp, where she maintains her chastity throughout the video, and ends up being able to save pete&steph & camp because of it. her ritualistic behavior, ie. maintaining her chastity, is reinforced by doing good in her eyes. an example that comes to mind is grace and wearing a bathing suit at all times. if she wears the bathing suit, she will stay pure, and god won't punish her. she keeps engaging in that behavior because it works, it alleviates her anxiety, and it becomes an obsession.

in npmd, there is more of a focus on religious ocd. when grace is confronted by the cops because of what happened to max, she panics. she doesn't know whether she did what god told / wanted her to do. she has this moment of cognitive dissonance, where she realized she acted on an intrusive thought (killing max), but she believed she was doing a good thing (ridding the world of a sexual bully). so, she doubles down. she settles for killing max one more time in order to maintain her previous obsession - that max is better off dead because it will better the world, and save pete&steph in the process. once the deal with the lords in black has been made, she is fine doing one bad thing to do god's (her) original plan correctly. when we grace move onto the next victim, she is driven to murder, like a compulsion. her obsession of making the world pure was rewarded when she saved the world by killing max, so doing it again is the only way to feel at ease, as resisting compulsions can be difficult.

i have intrusive thoughts, and grace canonically gets them too. while intrusive thoughts aren't explicitly caused by ocd, it can be a component. grace repeatedly has unwanted sexual thoughts in npmd. max makes advances towards her, she hates it, but she can't get the sexual images and thoughts out of her head. she is disgusted with herself, not knowing why she thinks and feels that way. this ruminates into her killing max, because it's the only way she can "fix" her thoughts.

in conclusion, i believe grace chasity could have ocd. she shows ritualistic behaviors through always wearing bathing suits, has obsessions about purity and has various compulsive acts to get rid of that fact, and has sexual intrusive thoughts. all of these symptoms do somewhat point to ocd. this is just a headcanon, and i want to say that having these traits does not mean you have ocd. please contact a medical professional if something strongly resonates with you. for the national suicide and crisis hotline in the united states, call 988. take care of yourself <3

i'm going to cite sources now. can't take the researcher outta the girl. i recommend reading them for further insight!

grace chasity & the horrors of purity | a hatchetfield character study, fencecollapsed

what is obsessive compulsive disorder?, apa (american psychiatric association)

symptoms of ocd, mind

understanding religious ocd, rachel ehmke

moral scrupulosity, zachary appenzeller & patrick mcgrath

[rollerskatinglizard]

hey!! I've read a few of your Motorcity fics and I love them, but I have no idea if I'd be interested in the source material! would you be kind enough to give an overview of the things you like (and dislike, maybe!) about the show, so I can give it a try? :O

Ahaha ohhhh boy XD

This is a very reasonable and canny request! In response I will do my best to be... measured and rational... about this show, instead of ranting about all my pet peeves.

tldr: it's a fun show with some excellent highlights, so long as you don't expect too much.

Motorcity has a ton of really fun characters that you can get your teeth into, the hero and villains are EXCELLENT, and the implied worldbuilding is very cool (from the flying buildings in Deluxe to the spore/mushroom-based weapons of the Terras). It's got a great art style, very dynamic and colorful with gorgeous backgrounds. The shots of the darkness of Motorcity with the little blue stars scattered across the ceiling, holes in the Deluxe dome, are atmospheric and stunning. The music is good and so is the humor - most episodes have several moments that make me snicker aloud.

As far as the show's problems, well... the racism and ableism is (or at least was in 2012), I think, fairly standard kid's cartoon stuff. It's also mainly contained in the Terras, who are American Indian ripoffs with (spoilers) facial mutations (which get revealed at the exact point where they stop hiding their villainy. REAL classy, writers). The part I have most trouble with is the writing, which is spotty in quality. Some episodes are great! But others have bad pacing, or a disjunction between the setup and the payoff of an episode, the problem and the solution, which I find grating.

But! Watch any episode with the Duke of Detroit and tell me he's not the most delightful villain, oh my god. He's voiced by the lead singer of Twisted Sister, I believe, and flamboyant, dramatic, and hilarious to watch. Mike's backstory is extremely tasty, Julie's double life and relationship with (and similarities to) Kane is juicy, and there are way more excellent female characters than I would've expected in a show intended for boys! Claire has a lot more to her than initially shows, and her relationship with Julie actually gets an episode of its own! And Tennie is great, I adore her.

If you want to test the show out, consider watching the first episode and the last two, (if that won't keep you from watching the rest of the show, that is!) because the finale is quite good!

And if for some reason you want more detailed opinions from me on various episodes, check my tag "episode rewatch"! XD

Thanks for the ask! I enjoyed attempting to answer it, haha.

[akplatt]

Is Cash App Safe for Your Everyday Transactions?

Cash App is popular for quick payments. But is it safe? Many users trust it for daily needs. They use it to send money, pay bills, and even shop online. Jane, a college student, uses Cash App every day. She sends rent money to her landlord. She also pays for coffee at her local café. Jane feels safe using Cash App. She says, "I like how fast it works." But others worry about security. They fear losing their money.

Cash App uses many tools to keep users safe. It has encryption to protect data. If you lose your phone, you can disable your Cash App account. This stops anyone from using your money. Cash App also sends alerts. It will tell you when someone tries to log in. Tom, a small business owner, relies on Cash App. He says, "The alerts help me feel secure." But there have been reports of scams. Some users have lost money. It's important to be careful.

For everyday use, Cash App is mostly safe. But you need to be smart. Don’t send money to strangers. Always double-check the details. Use the security features, like alerts and disabling your account. If you do, your money should stay safe. Emma, a mother of two, uses Cash App to pay for groceries. She says, "I trust it, but I’m careful." So, Cash App can be safe for daily transactions if you use it wisely.

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[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

I noticed that now that school season is coming ever closer, very soon lots of y'all will probably be spending 7 hours for 5 days a week in a very densely populated environment for the first time in a few months because of school, so here's my little mask PSA! Yes, in 2024.

(note: the more reading I did the more this became a GET FREAKIN VACCINATED psa, generally, keep in mind that your risk of getting ANY of the problems described below ((or causing them in others)) is reduced by staying in date with your Covid vax, so keep up with it if that's available to you. The more of y'all that are vaxxed, the more it helps others who can't or won't, and yourselves.)

oh wow doesn't that cute clipart I stole just completely inspire you to read all this

the post is a slight bit longer than intended, but each bullet point is pretty short. the first bit is some facts I read from the CDC after that there's a few tips on masking that I read from various sources and some personal experience.

having been infected with COVID 19 before does not prevent you from getting it again and potentially infecting others, and you may experience different symptoms than before.

having been infected with COVID 19 before definitely will not protect you from an entirely different variant of it.

millions of people have long covid, a chronic disease state potentially affecting multiple organ systems, as a result from being infected with Sars-Cov-2

this link is CDC information on keeping your vaccine up to date

my information above this point is from the CDC, but I definitely implore you to do your own reading instead of just interpreting what I've managed to both comprehend and compile into a rather succinct tumblr blog post.

this one is entirely anecdotal, but the only time I have gotten sick PERIOD in the past four years was when I got COVID from someone I ate lunch with, the only time I am ever in public without a mask is when I'm eating.

Data I found for my state indicates a currently low COVID rate (i checked a few places to be sure), however data is only collected from hospitalizations and presented as ratios in any of the sources I've found, which does not help me get an accurate number of confirmed cases to give y'all. Nevertheless, I recommend looking up what data you can for your own region, I wish you luck that it is more informative.

wearing a mask can prevent the spread of other airborne diseases besides COVID 19, so certain times of the year with an increase in airborne contagious diseases as well as time spent in a building with hundreds of other people whose hygiene and vaccination status are completely out of your control and knowledge are especially important times to wear a mask.

I am sure to keep a few paper masks (still individually wrapped bc they come that way and it keeps 'em clean) in my car in addition to the masks I have inside that I put on before going out, just to make sure I'm never caught off guard. toss it when you're home and replace to leave again. (I think same rules for taking it off for an extended period of time- since the side that would go pressed up against your face is now also exposed to the air)

if you don't drive, leave them in your purse or coat pocket, or keep a fabric one on your keyring bc some of them are made to fold up n do that.

KN95 masks are supposed to be even better at preventing disease spread!! same rules as paper masks.

if nothing else, a set of fabric masks is a one time purchase, however the filters must still be changed out daily(though apparently there are also filters that are washable and reusable, though I've only ever used single-use filters in fabric masks before), the mask itself should also be washed daily, or thrown in the wash each time you come home to be replaced with another in your rotation before you go back out.

personally, I intend to go back to double-layering a paper and 3-layer/fabric duo soon, and I actually learned some new information while reading up to make this post.

even if you can't keep up with every single rule, masking at all is better than not, and keeping up your hygiene helps too! wash with soap when available and keep hand sanitizer on hand, etc.

[kobold-travels]

June 30, 2024 - My own Renaissance! ~ I am incredibly excited for my trip. I leave here in a couple of days and I keep checking, double checking, and triple checking that I have everything ready to go! So what am I hoping to get out of this experience? What are some more of my expectations? Is there anything I’m in search of specifically? That’s what I’m going to discuss in today’s post.

What am I hoping to get out of this experience? I am looking to meet new people and learn about the histories of various textiles and fibers. I’m hoping to experience a Renaissance of my own in terms of Art Style, Imagination, and sources of Inspiration.

What are more of my expectations? I mentioned some of them previously, but I wanted to talk about it from a slightly different angle, especially after finishing Murder in Matera by Helene Stapinski. Obviously I’m not on a quest to find out about a familial history centered around murder and a card game. I will say that Stapinski has definitely set the scene for some smaller local towns and also talks about how hot it is in Italy. One of the things I keep hearing from everybody around me when prepping for the trip is just how hot it’s going to be in Italy in July.

Is there anything I’m in search of specifically? Like I mentioned earlier, I am in search of my own Renaissance, but there are some specific things I’m after as well. I’m a textiles student, so I’m excited to learn everything I can about Italian silk, wovens, and leather. I am excited to go on a tour at a local weaving studio, I can’t wait to see the methods they use to weave. I want to compare and contrast what I know about weaving and traditional methods. We’re also going on a trip to the Uffizi. I am excited to see a specific relief sculpture called Cushion and fabric selling scenes. The 2 pieces are sadly uncredited and it is also unknown who the pieces were made for. I like that the pieces depict the daily life of a textiles merchant. I have gone ahead and included images from the Uffizi gallery of the pieces.

Thanks for reading! ~ kobold-travels

[flyonthewallmedstudent]

Cysticercosis

I had to double check the spelling about 10x. Still mispelled this about 100x.

More specifically, I'm interested in learning 5-10 mins of disseminated cystericercosis today. Following my post on motivation and building better habits.

Source: NEJM

Not to be confused with the intestinal/GI form of taeniasis, classically, via eating uncooked pork that contains the larval form/cyst of the parasite: taenia solium. Aka, Pork Tapeworm (don't click on the link if you don't want to know what a tapeworm looks like). Also related to taenia saginata (beef tapeworm), except solium can also have the extra GI manifestations.

In cysticercosis, the eggs have to have contaminated food/water/surfaces (following the faecal oral route). It's rare in developed countries or places where there is more highly regulated hygiene practices. Chances are higher where pigs have access to human faeces (and eat it) and also in rural areas. Unfortunately it is going to be more common in developing countries.

Incubation time: 2 months for eggs to develop into tapeworm and produce cysts throughout the body. Symptom onset may take months to years. The cysts then spread haematogenously (via bloodstream) to various tissues - including skin, brain, eyes and muscle.

When it affects the brain and spine, it's considered neurocysticercosis. Symptoms present as seizures, ataxia and confusion. Fairly nonspecific but in keeping with space occupying lesions and their sequelae (i.e. hydrocephalus). High mortality due to said seizures, hydrocephalus and cerebral oedema (brain swelling always bad in a space like the cranium that cannot expand - hence craniotomies to decompress in event of swelling, if caught in time).

Another gem, it is a common cause of epilepsy in developing countries (and hence worldwide). "30% of all epilepsy in endemic areas" as per the WHO.

Tests: IgG for cystericercosis (or serology), CSF and MRI/CT in neurocysticercosis. For taeniasis, standard is asking for stool mcs + ova/cysts

Treatment is anti parasitics and anti inflammatories if severe (i.e. steroids, usually dexamethasone if the brain is effect, antiepileptics in the event of seizures). Bit nuanced with anti parasitics - depends on local availability. Could be prazitquantel (small risk of seizures if the patient has neurocysticercosis) or albendazole (less risk of seizures). Single doses.

It's also been featured in the pilot episode of House MD.

Of course it was featured in House. Neurocysticercosis is a zebra. That show was originally going to be named, Chasing Zebras. I don't know why it took them an entire episode to get to the diagnosis. Not saying it'd be on my list of differentials for epilepsy in a young person in the suburban states or acute confusion ever, but you can't get through ED without getting a CT of the brain in wealthier countries. Which means someone in radiology land would definitely pick up the lesions early leading to a narrowed list of differentials and clearer/repeat history.

Sources:

WHO, NEJM and the CDC

Gold standard resources would be uptodate.com and your local/regional therapeutic guidelines. I'll try to use the free ones that everyone can access.

[seandwalsh]

I saw some speculation that Princess Daisy and Azalea are related and possibly even sisters.

What do you think of the theory?

Good question, I’ve actually wanted to address this one for a while!

This is actually an idea that originated from the @didyuoknowgaming-blog parody blog.

This is such a specific claim, and since Camelot actually did post a lot of character lore on its Japanese website and it’s really easy to miss the swapped “U” and “O”, people believed it. Of course, this post got spread around like crazy, causing misinformation to pop up on the Super Mario Wiki pages for these characters, then in “Mario Facts” YouTube videos. Even when some people realised the source was a parody, they still chose to maintain the idea as a headcanon.

But is there any truth to the theory? I'm afraid not. In fact, it's practically an impossibility. Firstly however, let's debunk the claims made in the DidYuoKnowGaming post. Looking across both characters' descriptions on both Nintendo Co., Ltd. and Camelot Software Planning's websites, with translations courtesy of PaperSplash, they make no reference to Peach or Daisy whatsoever. Starting with Plum:

Characterized by cutesy mannerisms that feel slightly affected. Is she pretty helpless?

[Source: Plum's character profile, Mario Golf (Nintendo 64), Nintendo Co., Ltd. website]

In fact, Plum doesn't even have a character profile on the Camelot Software Planning page for the game.

As for Azalea, she has four descriptions across Nintendo Co., Ltd. and Camelot Software Planning's websites:

I used to do track and practice was pretty tough. But thanks to that, I got a tough lower body. Did that sound vulgar? It's been 2 years since I first started playing golf, but I am gradually improving with my father's guidance! I am thinking that I do not have much ability yet, but I have recently been chosen as a representative of my school! Lucky me!

[Source: Azalea's character profile, Mario Golf (Game Boy Color), Nintendo Co., Ltd. website]

A former track athlete, Azalea is now seventeen years old. The well-dressed and stylish girl must be from a family that values propriety, but she's a friendly girl who doesn't give off a stuffy atmosphere. She started playing golf at the age of fifteen, perhaps because of her father's love of the game, and her lower body, which she tempered through track, has helped her quickly rise through the ranks. She is now a representative athlete of her school.

[Source: Azalea's character profile, Mario Golf (Game Boy Color), Camelot Software Planning website]

The Club Champ of the Dunes Club, who plays boldly with excellent reflexes.

[Source: Azalea's character profile, Mario Golf: Advance Tour, Nintendo Co., Ltd. website]

One of Marion's champions, she later seized the crown as the Dune Club singles champ. She has been defending her title ever since. She was the strongest player among the former Marion Club Champs. She also holds the doubles title at the same time. A former track athlete, Azalea is an athletic golfer and her drive distance is quite good for a woman.

[Source: Azalea's character profile, Mario Golf: Advance Tour, Camelot Software Planning website]

Furthermore, it's important to keep in mind that Azalea is from a completely different dimension to Princess Daisy. As I've mentioned here on the blog before, various Mario games such as these Mario Golf games feature characters from real world Earth countries rather than Kingdoms on Mario's Planet. The Marion Club, where Azalea attends, is not in the same world as Sarasaland, where Princess Daisy rules. This would make it next to impossible for Daisy and Azalea to be even distantly related - never mind being sisters! I hope this answers your question.

For more information on the real world Earth, referred to by fans as "Tour Earth", be sure to check out my full findings in my research document here.

[defilerwyrm]

Hi! I (she/her, 20s) normally don’t do asks, but I saw your pinned post and wanted to ask about your experience. My husband is a trans man, early in transition, and he’s been researching the various surgeries and treatments for him. Is there anything he should be aware of, any tips about the social or medical side, any encouragement you could offer him? I find it especially hard to help him deal with his dysphoria because as much as I want to understand I just can’t seem to wrap my head around it and say the right things. Sorry if this is vague :(

Hi there! I’m gonna jump around a bit here, and this is gonna be long, so I’m gonna put it under a cut.

An important thing to know is that up until such time as he is in the OR getting anesthetized, he doesn’t have to be 100% certain what he wants. There are plenty of options, and all of them have their pros and cons. A good surgeon can do a plethora of configurations to suit what your hubby needs and wants. There are some things that do have to go together (what comes to mind is that if you get phalloplasty with urethral lengthening, it’s going to require a vaginectomy as well), but for the most part, bottom surgeries for AFAB people are pretty modular. I recommend checking out www.cranects.com for more info on that.

On the social aspect: things are awkward when you first start transition, but it gets a LOT easier. If he’s going on T, once he starts growing facial hair and his voice drops, he’ll get misgendered a lot less often, at least among folks who either hear him or see his face at the start of the interaction.

Transphobes LOVE to bang on about public restrooms, but honestly, my experience is that cis men operate by a golden rule when it comes to public restrooms: mind your own business. All he has to do is act like he belongs there and even if some guys double-take, the vast majority are just going to keep their eyes to themselves.

Also, if it makes him feel any better, there are literally millions of cis men who sit to pee. I’m given to understand that in the Muslim faith, it’s considered spiritually unclean to get urine on your clothes, so if a Muslim man is in a position where sitting is going to have a lesser chance of that happening, he’ll damn well sit. I think this mostly applies when the men in question are wearing flowing things like a kandura, but still. (Source: my former manager, a married Black Muslim cis woman.)

When it comes to dealing with dysphoria, that’s going to depend mostly on what trips it for him. It might be the use of certain words for his bits & bobs, might be certain sex acts, might be expectations of certain sex acts, might be clothing, might just be any reminder that the body he has isn’t the body he feels he should have, or a number of other things. It might be a hard conversation, but I reckon if you’re married you should be at a point in your relationship where you can have a difficult conversation in an open and supportive manner. Bear in mind that dysphoria triggers can change over time, so try to impress on him that if something wallops him upside the head, he can talk to you about it.

If he doesn’t already have a masc wardrobe: take him shopping! Save up some money to set aside for new clothing that gives him that good ol’ gender euphoria, and go hit the men’s section. Most men’s fashion isn’t exactly what I’d call exciting, but sometimes that’s not the point, and patterns can make up for the sameness that plagues menswear.

I think the best way I can explain gender dysphoria in a transphobic world is this: imagine for a moment your knees are on backwards. Things don’t fit right, nothing feels right, there’s a sense of deep-seated wrongness plaguing your every move—but everyone around you is telling you that that’s the way YOUR legs are meant to be and you should be happy with them the way they are rather than trying to change them. And maybe with years of treatment, including some really pricy surgeries you’ll have to prove to multiple medical professionals and your insurance and probably at least one judge that you need, you can get your knees turned MOST of the way around, but you’re gonna be walking real funny for a while between here and there.

Transition doesn’t always cure dysphoria per se, but for those of us with it, transition is the best possible option. It stands a pretty damn good chance of drastically improving his life—and probably yours, since married life is a lot easier with a happy spouse! But just like if you break your spine and have to go through physical therapy to regain the ability to walk, it takes time and work and expense to get there—and just like going through physical therapy, it is WORTH IT.

For a personal anecdote, I spent several years in a state of 24/7 depersonalization. I existed a few inches up and to the right of my body at all times. Things happened to my body before they happened to me. It became a comfortable space, because being seated in my meat was extraordinarily uncomfortable, but boy it was not a healthy one. I remember one afternoon at work something slammed me back into my body and I kinda freaked the fuck out about it because it felt GODAWFUL—painfully aware that I was a consciousness swimming in a soup of electrified fatty matter piloting a puppet made of meat and bone and SO many fluids dangling from the seat of my awareness, jfc it was horrible.

After the first week post-op from top surgery (because for the first week I wasn’t really awake for more than 15-30 minutes at a time), I realized…that was GONE. I was fully seated in my body, full-time, and…it was okay. I missed that comfortable space terribly for a long time, especially since I still had REALLY bad bottom dysphoria, but I was okay. It was, pun intended, a big weight off my chest. I could actually touch my chest and it didn’t feel vile, too.

And after bottom surgery the rest of my dysphoria pretty much evaporated. I still have some measure of frustration that what I’ve got doesn’t work the same way as AMAB equipment, but I can do little things like shift in my chair without that horrible wrongness, that feeling like the psychological equivalent of nails on chalkboard. The inner peace that HRT and gender affirmation surgeries have brought me is worth every penny I’ve spent, every minute fighting through red tape, and every twinge of post-op pain.

I say all this to mean: there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s not an oncoming train.

If he has not already changed his name and/or gender marker: depending on where you live (and, I cringe to say but it’s true, quite possibly his race as well, simply because legal hoops do tend to make themselves easier for white folk to navigate), changing his legal documentation might well be a lot less hassle than he might be expecting, especially if y’all live in a blue area. Look for a trans support group in your region; they should have resources to help smooth the way, such as grants for name changes, full write-ups of the name/gender marker change process for your location, trans-friendly judges and which judges to avoid, general legal help, etc. He doesn’t have to navigate that alone!

This might vary from one place to another, but a specific piece of advice I can give on the gender marker change is to wait till he’s been on T for at least three months (around the time that one’s voice typically drops), and have his medical professionals specifically state that he’s made irreversible changes as part of his gender affirmation treatment. I don’t know if all states require that, but mine does, so the judge I went to specifically looked for that type of verbiage. The trick there is that making irreversible changes doesn’t necessarily mean surgery—your voice dropping IS a permanent change, so legally that counts! (And of course if you don’t live in the US, the requirements might be wildly different.)

Okay that was an awful lot of rambling; gonna shoot this out into the ether before I find more things to yammer about. Best of luck to you and your husband both, and thank you for being a supportive spouse!

[eruden-writes]

How did you go about publishing your own story through Amazon? I'd like pointers for future reference. If you don't mind!

Amazon offers a self-publishing option! I used it back in 2014 to make a few ebooks and, since then, they expanded to print. Which I wasn't aware of, until I started poking about in self-publishing print books.

However, to self-publish a print book, you have to wear a lot of hats. And that means...

A lot of research.

There's a lot to know to format your own books. And remember, traditional publishers have editors, cover artists, typesetters, and so much more at their disposal.

Also, you'll have to do separate formatting for a print book vs an ebook.

If you're ready for the long answer, there is a lot:

First: Plan out your sections.

There's "front matter" and "back matter" sandwiching the "text body" or the story.

Front Matter is stuff like: Title, Copyright, Dedication, Introduction, etc. (This is also where you'd add things like a Table of Contents or maybe a fantasy map.)

You can find a copyright template for self-published books easily!

Back matter is stuff like: Author's Note, Acknowledgement, Other Books by the Author. (You could also add appendices of Characters here [or in the front] or excerpts to another book.)

The text body itself will have formatting for chapter headings and scene breaks (like if you use images or * * * to break up scenes in one chapter.)

Second: Learn about paragraph styles and page styles.

A paragraph style setting makes it easier to change all of your font with one click. Especially if you get fancy with your chapters.

A page style setting will help with things like tweaking margin sizes for multiple pages.

Either find or make yourself a template in whatever processing program you use. (I used LibreOffice and I'm working on making my own template.)

idk if it's just me or what, but these things are still finicky for me. So, I'll have to do more research on how to make them behave. lol

Three: Don't be afraid to google something!

BUT double-check that the information is relatively recent. I did keep finding stuff from 2011 or 2012. The self-publishing market has changed a lot since then. (You can bypass this, usually, but adding 2022 or a similarly recent year into what you search.)

Reddit was a great source for me during this process. They literally have sub-reddits for self-publishing. So, when you put in your question in google, add "reddit" at the end. You'll often find threads filled with answers for you, whether that's one agreed-upon one or various takes.

There's a ton of stuff that's up to personal preference, but it's nice to see what your audience might take notice of.

Miscellaneous Things:

Bye bye "by:" For your covers or title pages, ditch "by" in front of the author's name. Seen as a beginner mistake.

Research widows and orphans in typesetting. This is something I still need to decide on, but for now I left them in my book unless it was a line by itself on a mostly blank page.

Larger books need larger gutter margins! (ie the part of the book, closest to the binding.)

Some people think if a self-published author's name is comparatively small on the cover or binding - compared to the title - the author doesn't have confidence. I, personally, hate when the author's name is the same size or bigger than the title, especially if the title is literally another name. Which is the author and which is the character? 😖 But that's me.

Decide if you're going to buy your own ISBN! An ISBN is an International Standard Book Number. Most countries give them away for cheap or free, but the US has 1 purveyor of "legit" ISBNs and they charge $125 for one or $395 for ten. Amazon (and other self-publishing companies) can provide you with one of their free ISBNs. This just means those ISBNs can't be used outside of their services, but you can still publish elsewhere.

Don't forget your page numbers! There is an "add page number" function for the headers or footers, but if you want it on the outer sides on opposite pages, you'll have to do some finagling. (This gave me a ton of guff.) And consider if you want your name and book title in the headers. That's an easy-to-overlook detail.

Covers. Canva is what I used to piece together mine. I also used elements from Pixabay, if I couldn't find something I needed on Canva.

There's still so much I could say. I did so much googling and waffling between what I wanted to do. And, honestly, I've probably rushed the process quite a lot and have more googling and learning yet to do.

But, yeah. I hope this helps some people out there!

[lemuel-john-lalaguna]

Advocating Media and Information Literacy in the Philippines

Being media and information literate is more crucial than ever in the age of information overload. Unfortunately, a lot of Filipinos still don't understand how important these literacies are to our daily life. As we, someone who are passionate about advancing media and information literacy, We think it is essential to increase awareness of the importance of these abilities. We will explore why Filipinos should become proficient in these areas in this essay, with a focus on the impact of the internet and the imperative requirement to recognize reliable information. We will also stress the importance of media and information literacy for spreading accurate information and enhancing societal well-being.

The internet has seamlessly woven itself into the fabric of our daily existence, shaping our choices, molding our viewpoints, and guiding our actions. We have grown accustomed to relying on online sources for information. However, finding the Wide Web comes with its own set of challenges, chiefly the intimidating task of distinguishing reliable information from a sea of falsehoods. The internet's expansiveness is a double-edged sword, offering a treasure hoard of knowledge while simultaneously exposing us to misinformation, disinformation, and fake news.

One of the primary rationales behind the urgency of media and information literacy in the Philippines lies in the risk of unchecked information. In a world where people are constantly gathering data without bothering to learn its accuracy, the consequences can be far-reaching. Misleading or patently false information doesn't just harm individuals; it can have catastrophic effects on entire communities. Consequently, it is important to emphasize the importance of verifying information before distributing it—a critical step toward responsible information consumption and discharging.

Advocating for media and information literacy is our contribution to our countrymen. We hold ourselves to the highest standards when it comes to evaluating the veracity of information before sharing it. We recognize the tremendous influence that information wields in shaping opinions, and therefore, We strive to be a responsible information distributor, ensuring that the knowledge We impart is both credible and reliable.

As an advocate for information literacy, We hold various social media platforms to reach a broad audience. A considerable number of individuals rely on these platforms to access trustworthy information, including news on sports, holidays, entertainment, and more. By sharing credible information through these channels, We play our part in keeping people well-informed about important events and issues.

Media and information literacy also have a critical role in fostering civic engagement. Informed citizens are better equipped to make decisions that benefit both themselves and their communities. By promoting media and information literacy, we empower individuals to think critically, harness digital tools effectively, and actively participate in civic activities.

In a country like the Philippines, which is prone to natural disasters, such as typhoons, responsible information sharing becomes utmost. As a student, I appreciate distributing accurate and timely information during these crises. Sharing dependable weather updates and preparedness tips on social media can significantly aid people in making informed decisions and ensuring their safety.

In our quest for media and information literacy, it is imperative to combat false and fake news head-on. Misinformation can incite panic and chaos, particularly during critical events like natural disasters. To combat this, we must educate ourselves and our fellow citizens on how to detect reliable sources and rigorously fact-check information before accepting it as the truth.

In conclusion, advocating for media and information literacy is a responsibility that every Filipino should wholeheartedly embrace. The extensive influence of the internet on our lives necessitates a thoughtful and selective approach to consuming and sharing information. By advocating these crucial literacies, we empower ourselves and our communities to make informed choices, actively engage in civic activities, and shield ourselves from the harmful effects of false information. Together, we can build a society that cherishes the credibility and reliability of information, ultimately leading to a more enlightened and responsible citizenry.