#i just. want to have hope for a better future for now. let me have that at least
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tbaluver · 3 days ago
Note
Hi! Wanted to ask if you could maybe do if L&DS men are cat hybrids and went into heat.
love your work
The Love And DeepSpace Men As Cat Hybrids In Heat
parings in order: Cat Hybrid!Xavier x Reader, Cat Hybrid!Zayne x Reader, Cat Hybrid!Rafayel x Reader, Cat Hybrid!Sylus x Reader genre/ tags: MDNI, 18+, breeding kink, fingering, p in v, sylus receiving head a/n: hihi anonnie! ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ im soso sorry this took so long i hope this doesn't disappoint and if it does just pretend it simply doesn't exist ! ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) i was suppose to have this posted around kinktober but i got busy with exams so i barely just got back to it after the new banner trailer came out! thank you for loving my works and i hope you enjoy reading luv ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
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Xavier /ᐠ˵- ᴗ -˵マ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 :
you couldn’t help but stir in the sheets as your backside was pressed firmly against Xavier as he pulled you in closer. his head rested in the crook of your neck, running small kitten licks on it. sleep still clouded your mind and it took you a few seconds to realize his bulge was pressing against the plush of your ass.
“it-it hurts....” he lets out a whine. his eyes were half-lidded while his ears were drooped helplessly. he didn’t mean to wake you and never wanted to trouble you but the ache coursed through his lower half was unbearable. he couldn’t help it but he needed you more than ever.
“please can you make it better for me, honey?” he asked desperately as you hummed in response. the plump of his lips against your neck caused goosebumps causing you to arch your back enough to grind against him.
he softly grunts into the shell of your ear when you grind your lower half to grind against his clothed erection. his hands slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, finding the curve of your breasts. his hands kneading them desperately while his fingers circle one of your nipples.
you catch your breath as his fingers looped around the waistband of your panties. little gasps of pleasure manage to escape your lips as his hands find their way to play with your clit. his fingers pressed against your entrance, teasing it slightly as if it begged for him. you let out a moan, your back arching your back more as he pushes a second finger in as he shallowly dips his fingers between your folds, collecting the slick on his fingertips.
“so wet..need to be inside you.” he lets out a low growl, withdrawing his slick-coated fingers from your cunt that earns a whine from you. he quickly removes his boxers, desperate to free his cock from its constriction. in an instant, his hands find their way back to you, placing his hands on the back of your thighs.
without any words, his hands gently guided your thigh upwards. his mind was in a haze, consumed by nothing but thoughts of you- of being inside of you and filling you up full of nothing but him only.
xavier rocks his hips forward, slipping his cock between your lower lips. his hand squeezes your thigh firmly as he teases your entrance. “you’re so soft...so warm.” he lets out a breathy moan as his hair and the soft fur on his ear gently brush against your skin as he watches you slowly take him in. he carefully slowly buries himself inside of you, making sure to pause and let you get used to the sudden girth.
you whimper when he sets a steady pace, his hand moves to your hips to help him. “pretty...” xavier lowly murmurs into your ear, “gonna give you a whole litter,” he stammers out, his words faltering as one of his ears perked up while the other stayed drooped. his eyes were half-lidded and his tone completely shifted with the idea of you being the mother to his future litter.
his pace quickens, his movements are now rougher. his cock hitting so deep inside of you with every thrust as his name continues to slip out of your lips, motivating him further. his left hand rested on your stomach while his right hand found their way back to your breasts, kneading them desperately and pinching it gently with his thumb and index finger.
both of you fill the room with strings of curses and each other’s names as you meet the blinding heat of your climax washing over you both. his hips thrust into you one last time, digging his hands into your hips as he spills his seed into you, filling you whole until it drips to your inner thigh.
you both catch your breath, breathing heavily as he presses his forehead against the back of your shoulder. “thank you..’m sorry for waking you,” he murmurs softly, his fingers drawing circles on your hip.
you gently lift his hand from your hip, pressing a quick kiss to his palm. “t’s alright xavier,” you reassure him.
you feel him shift behind you as he positions himself on top of you and for you to lie on your back. your eyes widened seeing his cock still hard and shimmering in your slick.
“we’re not finished yet.”
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Zayne /ᐠ - ˕ -マ :
you couldn’t help but notice the subtle discomfort of your boyfriend. he unusually fidgeted in his seat, shifting his position every few minutes. sometimes he’d get up, only to return to the same spot, often followed by a sigh or a low groan. it was clear to you that something was bothering him.
“is everything alright?” you asked. he didn’t even look up, his gaze remained fixed on the pages in front of him. he’s staring at the pages but he’s not reading the words.
“i’m fine,” but you knew him too well, especially in the condition he was in right now. the way his tail swayed and how his ears flicked from the sound of you gave it away.
you set your book aside, moving in front of him. you gently closed the book he was holding and removed it from his hands. without waiting for a response, you settled yourself in his lap, positioning yourself so you could face him.
“c’mon tell me what’s wrong zayne,” you said softly, trying your best to ease any of his tension. you reached up, gently scratching behind his ears, careful not to press too hard, knowing how sensitive he was. he winced, making you flinch slightly and you immediately lifted your hand, ready to apologize.
but instead of pulling you away, his palm met the back of your hand, guiding it back down to rest on the side of his cheek. he nuzzled into your touch, a deep sigh escaping his lips as he inhaled deeply, savoring the sweet scent of your skin. his hazel green eyes lock onto yours as he presses his lips to your wrist, giving it a teasing but yet gentle bite.
“your scent.. it’s driving me mad..” he lets out a low groan, giving your hand a small lick over the bite. 
“will you help me make it better my love?” his eyes looked needy and desperate, you couldn’t say no.
you let him move his hand down over your thighs between your legs. the cool touch of his fingers grazed over your thin fabric of your panties, adding that attention that you wanted to your body.
he was quick to help you discard your top, letting him have your breasts displayed in front of him in all his glory. whimpers escape your lips as you feel the warm and wetness of his tongue lapping at the sensitive bud that made wet arousal stream out of you. you could almost feel the wetness seeping from you.
he couldn’t ignore his painfully erect cock in the restraint of his pants. he helps you remove your panties down, lifting your hips and leg off to fully slip them off.
“please, i need you,” he pleads, grabbing the side of your ass and desperately rocks his hips up at you.
“i can never say no to you,” you purr, helping him remove his pants and letting them pool at his legs. his cock springs free, slapping against his stomach. he grunts out softly, his hands gripping onto your thighs, squeezing the flesh.
you take his length in your hands, attempting to line him up with your entrance. you rub his tip through your folds, letting him appreciate the presence of your wet folds before you sink down slowly on his cock, a broken whine escaping your lips.
zayne’s head falls against the back of the couch, eyes fluttering shut at the bliss of being inside you. the sensation of having your warm, wet cunt wrapped around his cock gave him the remedy he needed. and he needed more. 
it’s making him lose his composure and letting him kick into the animalistic instinct inside of him the longer you continue to make him feel so good.
his large hands begin to bounce you up and down his length, hungry to feel further inside of you. his pace is not usually this rough at the beginning but given the state he’s in, your priority was to make him feel better, too feel good.
you have to clutch his broad shoulders to stay in place, his thrusts setting your stomach in a blaze of ecstasy. he groans as he watches your face melt in pleasure and your tits bounce up and down, only making him want to fuck you harder.
“i-i can’t hold out that long love,” he pants, burying his face back into your breasts. you pull him in closer, your hands knotting into his hair as you bounce on his cock
you're having trouble keeping up everytime he slams you down into his lap. desperate, he pulls you in an open-mouthed kiss. It's sloppy and messy but yet passionate. you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.
you could feel the coil in your stomach tightening to a dangerous extent, parting your lips as pleasure courses through your body. your walls flutter around him as he continues to pump in and out of your poor pussy, letting a low groan out of him.
he feels it, he feels his release coming but he doesn’t want it to end. waves of pleasure washes through him, his cock pumping his seed all into your hole. he watches it dribble down your leg which makes his ear twitch.
he doesn’t pull out, his dick growing back harder inside of you. he refuses to let his seed go to waste. he’ll continue and continue to fuck his cum back into you.
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Rafayel ฅᨐฅ :
this was humiliating. his own body has betrayed him once again and turned him into this wretched creature he disliked the most. a cat.
he didn’t like one thing about being a cat, let alone being human-ish and a cat. the only thing he could appreciate this time was the ability to speak to you and tell you all the troubles he had. all of it, except for this.
the burning heat through his lower half of his body was unbearable, his mind and body fought each other as his body called for you.
he wanted you, needed you. but he didn’t want you to see him like this- not with his ears twitching in embarrassment or this annoying tail that betrayed his every move. he paced around in the bathroom, deciding to endure this unbearable urge to pass.
that was until a knock on the other side of the door snapped him from his thoughts. it was you.
“raf is everything okay in there? you’ve been in the bathroom for a while now..” you trailed off, your voice faint and muffled.
“i’m fine! you can go shoo!” but his own body betrayed him as moved toward the door despite what he said. his mind screamed at him to stop but his body pushed forward, yearning for you. his tail swayed, already longing for the sound of your voice. he didn’t want you to go.
he can hear you sigh from the other side of the door. “i know you hate being a cat again but let me help raf.”
it was quiet for a moment from his side of the door until the sound of the lock clicking opened. the door creaked slightly until you pushed it fully open, catching the sight of raf’s back.
“see everything is fineeee.” he says, not bothering to face you, his arms crossed over his chest. even from the back you can tell he’s probably pouting. but you can tell just from the tone of his voice that he’s lying.
you stepped closer, your hand brushing up his tail. his ears twitched while his tail perked up in an instant you touched him. “you-!” his breath hitched and the last shred of whatever control he had slipped away.
he pressed you against the door, his left hand cradling the back of your head to cushion the impact, while his right hand braces beside you, keeping you both in place.
he looks at you up and down, panting before pulling you closer and capturing your lips with urgency. his hand moves to your cheek while his thumb grazes softly.
“i can help raf,” you whisper against his lips, finally understanding the situation. your eyes flutter half closed, drawn to the soft movement of his lips and yours.
he whines softly as he pulls away, his ears drooping while his tail still sways. he didn’t give it a second thought before hoisting you up in his arms and placing you on the cold bathroom counter.
rafayel leans forward again, pressing his mouth to the column of your throat. his warm soft lips trailed your heated skins as his hands fell to your thighs. warm fingers, eager and urgent, explored your skin.
you lean back, pressing your head to the cool glass of the mirror, gripping his shoulder as he gives you small bites and licks over them. his hands snake up to make quick work on your shirt as you help him remove it.
“your scent,” he inhales deeply, his nose grazing against your skin. his cock twitched from the restraints of his pants as he pressed a kiss to the plush of your breast before nuzzling his face between them. “you’re soaked aren’t you?” 
he quickly slips off your panties to the side and presses his mouth the pulse point just beneath your ear as his fingers brush your clit. he groaned at the slick gathered on his fingers, not that surprised that you’re already dripping for him.
a small moan left your lips, your eyes rolling at the back of your head as he pushed his fingers into your entrance. the pleasure was short lived as he pulled away as he unbuckled his belt. his hard cock sprung free from the fabric, begging to be inside of you.
he positioned himself at your entrance, slowly pushing into your wet cunt, earning a loud moan as rafayel tries to fill you up. wet arousal streams out of you as you arch your back and cup one of your breasts, fingers flicking over your hardening nipples.
“soo wett..” he trembles, a whimpering mess he is. he continues to babble curses and praises, making your velvety walls flutter and tighten impossibly around him. a whine escapes him as he ears droop and his mouth partens.
he picks up the pace, his thrusts becoming more merciless. he can’t blame you for the way your pussy wraps around his cock so perfectly. the image of your pretty pussy being so stuffed of him, nearly made him lose his mind
“gods..the way you’re taking me..” he pants out, “wanna breed you. gunna fill you up with soo much of my cum yea?”
your mind is clouded with a haze of lust, feeling his urgent need to feel you up. yeah it could be a litter but fuck it you can change his mind about cats later.
“give it to me raf, all of it,” you huff out between moans, as the pressure starts to bubble in your lower belly. clenching around his cock as his pace sped up, his hips slamming into your walls.
“‘m gonna give you all of it, fill you up so much,” he tightens his grip on your hip, using his free hand to spread you open further to see his cum leaking from your hole around his cock, driving him over the edge.
he blows his load and fills your cunt, rocking your hips with his. you met your high that shaked your entire body while your eyes rolled back and had your toes curling.
you both catch your breath as he still remains inside of you, still throbbing at the sight of you.
“you’re gunna make me wanna fuck another load inside of you.”
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Sylus ≽^-˕-^≼ :
sylus 𓅨 sent you a voice message.
he lets out a low grunt in the beginning of the voice message. “sweetie..” he sighs deeply, desperation in his voice. “i don’t mean to trouble you but i’m afraid i need you urgently. please hurry home soon.”
he lets out a low groan as his half lidded eyes fall on you, followed by a chuckle. his crimson gaze locks onto you, his lips slightly parted as he strokes his cock a bit faster than before.
you were still frozen by the doorway to your shared bedroom as you admired the scene that played out in front of you. a surge of lust pulsed through you, a tingling sensation blossomed from your core and spread through  your legs.
he looked good like this. his black button up shirt hung open, revealing the sculpted lines of his abs. his belt undone and his pants pushed down enough to reveal his cock that he lazily stroked in his hand. his face slightly flushed as his mouth remained slightly parted as he let out small pants while his ears drooped low.
you locked the door behind you as you crawled onto the bed, settling yourself right in between his thighs. “enjoying the view?” he teases, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he raises a brow. “care to lend a hand sweetie?”
you let out a breathy chuckle, straightening up to lean in and kiss him. your hand instinctively moved to rub the back of his ears earning a low groan while his eyes fluttered closed at your touch. “always so shameless aren’t you sy?” you whisper against his lips as you continue to stroke the back of his ears.
you place small kisses down his jaw to his neck, teasing him as you trail lower and lower. your tongue tracing the outlines of his abs and muscles.
you come face to face with his cock, already throbbing and hot pink with arousal. you kiss the base of his cock, trailing up and down his length with your lips before tugging on it gently as you place the tip in your mouth.
his hands immediately interlace in your hair. the feeling of your tongue on his sensitive shaft was too much to bear, too good, he wished you’d never stop.
“fuck,” a low groan rumbles at the back of his throat followed by uneven pants. sylus throws his head back a little but looks back down to watch you. your eyes met his crimson ones as you release him from your mouth with a pop.
the feeling of his calloused hand could never compare with your mouth and tongue running up and down his length, your saliva dropping down and squelching on his hard cock.
“taste so good sy,” you moaned, placing a few tender kisses on his tip as you ran your hands up and down on his bare thighs.
his ears perked up once he heard that. he can’t finish in your mouth. he needs to fill you up. breed you till his heart content.
he lost all of his control, pushing you off him, your back hitting the soft plush of the mattress. you yelp in surprise as you feel him work off your shirt and bra urgently. he breathes you in, the scent of your bare skin filling his senses. his warm breath brushing over you, sending goosebumps across your body. “you smell divine,” he murmurs, kissing the skin of your chest before slowly moving towards the swell of your tits.
he takes your nipple into his mouth, dragging his tongue on it while he starts to suck. your eyes flutter close while your hands find their way to the back of his ears, making his ears twitch and his tail perk up.
his hands make quick work, pulling your bottoms down before tugging off the last piece of clothing that restricted him from entering.
“gonna give me a whole litter sweetie? keep you full of me?”
sylus sinks his thick heavy cock into your wet heat, your walls trying to welcome his length. your hands slide over his arms to rest on his broad shoulders, choked whimpers tumble out of your lips.
“so fucking tight,” he curses breathlessly,  your mind turning static with each drag of his cock against your sweet spot. it’s normally not like this with him, but he’s so desperate and feral right now.
the restraints of his animalistic urges were crumbling once he was finally inside of you. the way he effortlessly yanks you up with his calloused hands and wraps them around your thighs to fill you to the brim. he groans at the idea of stuffing you full of his seed, the warmth of your pussy was addicting that he didn’t want to leave. 
a guttural groan and curses escape him as he picks up the pace and thrusts upwards mercilessly. “i’m close sweetie..will you let me fill you sweetie? pump your tight pussy full of my cum,”
you let out a breathless yes as his hand rests on your stomach and presses it down. his words were barely audible to you now as he leaves open mouthed kisses. his teeth sinking into your soft skin, marking you his.
he could almost taste blood on his lips from biting his bottom lip too hard as he watches your belly bulge with each hard thrusts he gives. heavy balls slap against the curve of your ass, each thrusts of his seems to grow harsher, more deeper.
in absolute bliss, he finally fills you up and paints your insides white with thick spurts of his seed. obviously he doesn’t forget you. your orgasm hits you when he continues to pump inside of you, circling your sensitive clit in slow motion, incoherent whimpers until you feel your voice giving out.
“so good to me,” he murmurs, running a hand through your hair. he lowers himself toward you, peppering your face with sweet kisses and giving you kitten licks on the marks he’s bitten you on as you recover from your high.
“you’re gonna make a wonderful mother to my litter sweetie.” he murmurs, before sitting up, his cock still hard.
“sy please..’s too much” you whine as he lets out a low chuckle, “relax, you can handle it sweetie.”
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this is my only blog. i do not have any other accounts where i post my content.
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spacexgrl · 2 days ago
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Bittersweet ! 🎀
mdni <3 you’re here pt 2
series masterlist 💋
~ in which Ellie breaks up with you and you go a little crazy ~
ex! ellie williams x fem! reader , abby anderson x fem! reader
college au!
warnings: angst, break up, cheating!!, cursing, toxic behavior, smut in future chapters, sexual themes<3 feminine and girly reader ,not proof read!!
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You watched as Ellie stuffed her duffel bag with all her clothes out of your shared closet, at least you’d have more space for new clothes, you’ll definitely do some online shopping later to cheer yourself up.
You’ve stopped crying at this point, you decided that Ellie’s not worth your tears right now she doesn’t deserve to see you in this state, you won’t let her have it. Instead you wiped your heavy tears away and tried to stay calm … at least until she left.
Ellie shifted from her kneeling position as she finished packing her things up, she was ready to leave. She tried to get close to you one last time, a poor attempt to initiate a hug which you declined with taking a step back. What the fuck was that?? you thought, she couldn’t stop making this more awkward than it already was.
“I just want you to know that.. i want to try to be friends i can’t throw away everything we went through and i hope you feel the same way..maybe not now but one day ”
Her voice broke mid sentence, but you wanted to laugh in her face. You just threw away everything we had you asshole is what you wanted to say but you bit your tongue.
You wanted to scream at her
i did everything for you! I did everything to make you happy, i gave you my all and you did fucking nothing! Why couldn’t you end things sooner huh? Fucking coward all you did was waste my time and efforts Ellie, fuck i hope you’re happy fucking Dina every night just like you did on your little studying sessions.
“i know you probably hate me and i’m really sorry i just…fuck i fell in love with her you know? I didn’t meant to i swear i-“
She went on and on with her rambling, stopping when she noticed you weren’t listening to her bullshit anymore. All she said was that Dina was better than you, you got it like 20 minutes ago fuck.
“Goodbye Ellie”
at this point you pushed her out of the doorframe, she pleaded you to let her say goodbye properly whatever the fuck that means. You didn’t wanna find out. Ellie was still so immature in the head..poor girl will never know what she wants. Yeah that was probably it you tried to make sense of the situation but it was just stupid. It wasn’t your fault that she couldn’t love you the way you deserved, it wasn’t your fault that she needed to ruin what you’ve built for some short term fun.. you were her first kiss, her first time, her first love her first everything.
You guess her thirst for new experiences won against years of loving each other.
You remembered meeting Ellie when you were little, she’d always get into fights with kids that were mean to you on the playground. She was your hero and you believe that you loved her from the very beginning. She’d talk your ear off about space, dinosaurs and how she wanted to become an astronaut when she grows up and you believed in her, you always did.
The day before she asked you to be her girlfriend, Ellie introduced you to her Father, Joel. It was such a beautiful day you got along so well and he absolutely loved you. You were convinced that you were going to marry Ellie one day…how wrong you were.
Once Ellie was accepted into college you were the first one to know but Ellie.. Seattle is so far away.. you were so happy for her but you weren’t made for a long distance relationship. I know but.. i want to get into Aerospace engineering and it’s the best place for that babe.. come with me? Please?
just like that you applied for your dream major and got accepted in no time. You wished things would’ve gone differently..
You shrugged off the memories that were floating in your head as you plopped on your king sized bed, face down on your fluffy pillows. You groaned loudly and forced yourself up against the bed frame, grabbing your phone you left on the nightstand.
Mindlessly scrolling through instagram you stumbled across a picture of her.
It was a mirror selfie in a free weights section of some gym..she was in a tight competition shirt and grey sweats, boxers peeking out just a tiny bit as she flexed her big beefy arms..god you could almost count the muscles on her stomach.
Her blonde locks were tied in a loose braid, little strands framing her freckled face..okay that’s enough you thought as you clicked on her profile taking in every picture her hands are so big you bit your lip and rubbed your thighs together without even noticing has Abby Anderson always been this hot??
Of course she has..straight A student biology major scholarship basketball team captain daughter of one of the greatest neurosurgeons in the state Abby Anderson
Ellie never told you about her feud with her..she just told you to stay away from her at all costs. Babe it doesn’t matter just ignore her trust me she’s no good..i fucking hate her guts is what you recall her saying after Abby greeted you in the hallway like one time.
Lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice that you accidentally liked one of her newest stories oh no no no fuck!! you panicked and threw your phone on your bed far away from you.
ding!
ding!
ding!
please be Ellie you prayed to god that it was Ellie hoping she left something important behind but you were wrong.. maybe you should just end it all now…
after contemplating your entire life for about 5 minutes you dared to click on Abby’s messages
hey doll
heard about your breakup.. Ellie’s a dick anyway lol
want me to cheer you up?
🎀
pt 3
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sinsirellaxx · 2 days ago
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The other Sister – Part 2 (1k Special)
Daemon Targaryen x Reader
Warning: non-con (non-descriptive – please read at your own discretion), infidelity (?), not proofread
A/N: Here is part two! Hope you guys enjoy and please leave comments/feedback to help me with my writing and my motivation!
And Again: Anyone knows what inspired this story?
Hint: It's a historical romantic drama
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Weeks slipped by, each day marked by a tense silence between you and Daemon. Though you rarely crossed paths directly, you could feel his presence wherever he lingered—his eyes watching you from the shadows of the hall or across the court during meals. His gaze burned, but he never approached, and the distance between you, once a balm, now became a slow torture.
Your impatience grew. You had challenged him, demanded that he court you properly, and yet he had done nothing but brood. The fire in your blood wouldn’t let you rest. If he wouldn’t act, then you would force his hand.
You began to spend more time in the company of the other lords. You laughed at their jests, leaned in just a touch too close when they spoke, and accepted their compliments with a smile that left them smitten. It wasn’t long before you caught Daemon’s eye across the courtyard one afternoon, his expression dark and thunderous as you lingered at Lord Corwyn’s side, a soft laugh escaping your lips. You felt the heat of Daemon’s gaze but didn’t acknowledge it, allowing the moment to stretch before you excused yourself with a graceful bow.
The tension only grew over the next few days. Daemon’s brooding presence became more intense, his eyes trailing after you with barely concealed frustration. Yet still, he did nothing, and your patience wore thinner with each passing moment.
*****
At last, Daemon could bear it no longer. He stormed into his brother’s chambers one evening, his cloak billowing behind him as he confronted Viserys.
“I want her,” he declared, his voice resolute. “She is of noble blood, and she would strengthen our family’s legacy.”
Viserys looked up from his seat, his expression skeptical. “And what of your wife?” he asked, his tone weary. “She still lives.”
Daemon’s jaw clenched. “For now,” he said darkly, though his voice softened as he continued. “Her health wanes with each passing day. She can no longer fulfill her duties. If the gods will it, she won’t survive another year. The realm needs strong heirs.”
Viserys frowned, his fingers tapping against the armrest of his chair. “You speak as though you already expect her death.”
Daemon leaned forward; his gaze unyielding. “I speak as a man who sees the future clearly. Let me marry her. Let me take her as my second wife. The union will strengthen our house, and it will bring me peace.”
Viserys sighed, rubbing his temples. He knew better than to expect Daemon to relent once his mind was set. After a long silence, he finally nodded. “If she consents, I will not stand in your way.”
Daemon wasted no time. He left his brother’s chambers with purpose, his boots echoing through the stone halls as he made his way to your room.
The Confrontation
You were in the midst of a quiet moment, relaxing in the warmth of your bath, the water steaming gently around you. The world outside felt distant, and for once, your mind was free from the turmoil of Daemon’s lingering presence. But the tranquility shattered as the door to your chambers burst open.
Startled, you grabbed a towel and quickly draped it over yourself, your heart racing. Daemon stood in the doorway, his eyes stormy and wild, his presence filling the room like a force of nature.
“Daemon!” you exclaimed, your voice a mix of shock and indignation. “Have you lost your mind? You cannot simply—”
“Enough,” he interrupted, his tone commanding. He took a step closer, his gaze intense as it swept over you. “Viserys has granted his blessing. We will be married.”
The words hung in the air, heavy and final. Your heart leapt into your throat, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within you—shock, disbelief, and a flicker of something else. You tightened your grip on the towel, trying to compose yourself.
“You went to the King?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Without even speaking to me first?”
Daemon smirked, though his eyes remained serious. “I did what had to be done. You wanted me to court you properly, and now I’ve secured the King’s blessing. I’ve done what you asked. No more games.”
You stared at him, your breath catching in your throat. His words were bold, and his actions even bolder, but the fire in his gaze left no room for doubt. He was utterly, irrevocably determined.
“This is madness,” you said, shaking your head. “What of my sister? What of her child?”
“She will remain Lady of the Vale,” Daemon said dismissively. “Her position is secure. But you—” He stepped closer, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous whisper. “You will be mine.”
Your pulse quickened as his words sank in. The air between you crackled with tension, the heat of the bath doing little to mask the intensity of the moment. You could see the raw need in his eyes, the hunger he no longer tried to hide.
“And if I refuse?” you challenged, though your voice betrayed the uncertainty beneath your defiance.
Daemon’s smirk returned, wicked and confident. “You won’t,” he said simply. “Because you know as well as I do that this is what you want.”
He reached out, his hand brushing against your damp hair, his touch lingering just long enough to send a shiver down your spine. “No more waiting,” he murmured. “No more pretending.”
For a moment, you couldn’t find the words to respond. The weight of his presence, his determination, left you breathless. But beneath the shock and the defiance, there was a spark of something undeniable—something that had been there all along.
Your heart raced as you met his gaze, knowing that your next words would change everything. Shaking your head hesitantly you muttered a silent “I can’t.”, as you backed away from him slowly.
“What?” Daemon scoffed, his eyes blazed with fury, his chest heaving as he took a step closer, the sound of his boots against the stone floor echoing in the tense silence.
“You asked me to do this properly,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “You told me to go to Viserys, to ask for his blessing. I did. And now you dare turn away?”
You clutched the towel tighter around yourself, your back pressed against the cool stone wall at this point and the only way to put distance between you two would be to run, which you doubted you would succeed in. The heat of his anger filled the room, suffocating you. “I didn’t think he would agree – or that you would actually do it,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “And even if he did – Daemon, this isn’t right. I can’t … I can’t betray my sister like this.”
His expression twisted with disbelief; his anger barely restrained. “Your sister?” he spat, his voice rising. “If she truly mattered to you, why did you play this game with me—her husband?” His laugh was cold, derisive. Without breaking eye contact, he braced his arms on either side of your head, boxing you in with a predator’s precision.
“She’s still my family,” you shot back, your voice trembling but firm. “And your wife.”
“And yet that didn’t stop you from tempting me – stop pretending. Stop playing coy.” He spat, his nose almost touching yours.
A sudden jolt of fear coursed through you as it became clear: Daemon wouldn’t back down – he wouldn’t leave without claiming what he believed was his. Your rejection wasn’t just personal; it threatened to humiliate him, to weaken his standing with the King. You knew he wouldn’t allow that.
Summoning every ounce of strength, you bit your lip and shoved him with all your might. The force caught him off guard, and he staggered back momentarily – but just as quickly, he steadied himself, his eyes blazing with a dangerous mix of anger and disbelief.
Without another word Daemon grabbed you by the back of your head, his fingers gripping your long curls harshly, as he dragged you out of the bathroom and towards your bed. “You dare lay your hand on me, you little girl?” he snarled through gritted teeth, his grip tightening until strands of your hair gave way under the pressure.
You let out a pained yelp, your hands clawing at his, desperately trying to loosen his grip. “S-Stop—you’re hurting me!” you pleaded, your voice trembling.
“Silence!” he snapped, shoving you face-first onto the bed, his hold on your hair unrelenting. Panic surged as your eyes watered, the horrifying realization of his intent sinking in. “N-No … please, don’t! W-What are you—”
“You’ll have no choice but to marry me once I’m finished with you,” he harshly whispered against your neck, his hot breath hitting the delicate skin under your ear.
Your eyes widened as the first tear slipped down your cheek. Gradually, your struggles ceased –– you couldn’t match his strength. You felt weak. How pathetic.
******
You felt dirty – defeated, as you laid there on your bed. The tears on your face had dried, your dry lips bitten bloody. You heard Daemon shift behind you, likely adjusting his clothes. You closed your eyes thinking he would leave but instead, you felt him pull the sheet from underneath your now naked body – tainted by your sin. Your body tensed once again, a desperate urge to grasp the sheet, to burn it so no one would see it. But you were too exhausted, too broken to move.
“Viserys will announce our betrothal in the morrow. I will speak to him and urge him to hurry up with the wedding ceremony – there is no reason to waste more time,” Daemon said, his tone lazy as he stepped away from the bed, the stained sheets crumpled in his hands. "I'll speak with him, urge him to hurry with the wedding. No reason to waste more time."
He paused, his gaze lingering on you. "I'll keep these until we're husband and wife."
With a soft, lingering kiss to the back of your head, he whispered, "I'll see you tomorrow, my betrothed," before turning and walking away.
As the door shut behind him, a heart-wrenching sob escaped you. Your body shook violently from the force of it, regret flooding your mind as you realized how you had unwittingly led the temperamental prince on.
It felt like hours before you managed to push yourself off the bed. Your legs trembled beneath you, every inch of your body aching with exhaustion. When you took your first step, a warm trickle down your leg sent a wave of nausea surging through you, almost overwhelming.
Pushing yourself forward you barely managed to take a few steps before you fell against the sink.
Gripping onto the marble of your washbasin you bit your lip in despair, angry tears dripping into the water as you watched the droplets cause small ripples in the water you had used to wash your face. Your hold on the cold surface hardened – your fingers turning white until your wet skin slipped on the smooth surface and you lost your grip completely. And with it your resolve not to cry. Ugly sobs forced their way out of your trembling lips as you let your head fall forward, your forehead almost touching the water. You let yourself cry and scream – what an ugly sight you must have been.
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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago
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the election results have me feeling really bummed out as a closeted/pre-everything transmasc person. i feel like im grieving a version of myself that will never get to exist because im too scared
hey it's okay to feel this way, i'm sorry you're so scared right now
something i'd like everyone to keep in mind is that it's literally impossible for trump to change everything overnight. i hate our government but it has to fight with itself in order to function. individual states in the country are proposing some very questionable and unsafe bills, but it's not a reason to give up hope. there will always be states in our country like California who have and maintain strong enough trans protection laws that people will still have somewhere to go
change when it comes to government is gradual. it doesn't happen over night. that's how transphobes and republicans want you to feeel. they want you to give up, to become defeated and to never, ever try to transition. youre not wrong for feeling bummed, but do not give up on your transition because of them. that's what they want. fight like hell for your future. fight like hell for your comfort and identity
if anything now is the best time to get started. trump literally cannot do anything until January. and even then that's the motion of attempting to put bills and laws into action. attempting. there's no guarantee anything will be passed. reminder that we lived thru 4 years of trump before and barely anything happened. republicans are not as scary as we think they are. trump is a fascist yes but he can only do so much when it comes to bickering with the rest of the government
government moves slowly. change happens gradually. if you need help relocating to a safer place, feel free to ask. pursue transition now if you have the ability to. don't let some fascists get into your head and make you think it will literally be impossible. i promise it won't. they want you to get scared and feel like they're so powerful you can't do anything. fortunately the're not. you don't have to give up on your future. you don't have to give up on transition
take care of yourself, okay? it's okay to feel bummed but don't let them get too deep into your head. thats exactly what they want. they want all the trannies to detransition, go back into the closet, or never transition. and it's okay if people do this. but this is what they want. im going to continue being shamelessly trans. im going to continue being a tranny who looks acts and sounds queer. i know not every queer can do this. i know not every trans preson has that luxury
if you genuinely can't medically or socially transition it's alright. a lot of people just can't. it genuinely is very unsafe for many people. but i just want to stress that things will not become 1000x worse over night. you still have a chance. and there are people fighting for your right to transition right now. we will continue to fight harder. defeat is not an option- we will not let it be.
good luck, i hope you're able to feel better soon. take care of youreslf, no matter what you choose it's okay. but remember that change happens gradually. we will adapt
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nadas-dirthalen · 3 days ago
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A Veilguard Achievement Icon Opened My Eyes on 15 Years of Lore... but Was I Right?
PART TWO: What Veilguard Did Narratively, and What That Tells Us Going Forward
[ 1 ]
Hello again, friends and travellers. Now that I've beaten Dragon Age: the Veilguard, I wanted to go through all those 30,000 words of predictions that I wrote in the ~11 days leading up to its release. I'd seen an achievement icon that pieced together a lot of Dragon Age lore for me.
But, I hadn't played Veilguard. All I had was the footage from September 19, the achievement list, and anything else BioWare had released.
So... was I right? And if so, how much was I right about?
This is your warning:This post will contain spoilers for the entirety of Dragon Age: the Veilguard, and all Dragon Age content made before Veilguard.
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(my davrinmance is going great as i try and collect every codex, thanks for asking!)
Today's Discussion: to Understand Dragon Age, We Must Understand Its Writing.
Before I can go any further on why I think the way that I think, or why I imagine the story might take us in certain directions, it's essential that you all understand where I'm coming from. Veilguard, like any game, is a piece of art. Its bones are built with similar narrative structures to novels (though not identical, and that's important!). To make sense of what's to come, we must examine Veilguard's bones the same way.
I've seen a lot of people wondering why, for instance, the Inquisitor is not Veilguard's protagonist. I've seen people lamenting the fact that there were not on-screen clarifications of popular lore theories. Before this series goes any further, I need to say my piece about why I believe that it was essential that Veilguard was written as it was, and why its writing does in fact help us better predict Dragon Age's path forward moreso than even Inquisition.
That said, today I hope to cover:
What Veilguard Demanded of BioWare's Writing Team, and Why
The Protagonist: Why Rook's Perspective Matters
The 3 Act Structure: Our Lens
The Companions: Paths to Our Answers — and Future Games
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What Veilguard Demanded of BioWare's Writing Team, and Why
Let's get this out of the way right away: it has been 10 years since Inquisition. And, like it or not, that means one gigantic thing for BioWare: if they wanted to have any hope of making more Dragon Age, they needed to bring in new players and resuscitate the interest of many old players who did not stay in the fandom the whole time. They didn't—and couldn't—write Veilguard specifically for you or I, people of Tumblr. If they did, it would've pleased us... and then cost them so much money that we'd never get any more Dragon Age.
That doesn't just mean modernizing the game's aesthetics, or providing a glossary in its Codex. It means they would have to balance all of the following (just at a glance):
Managing the learning curve in general. Not even I looked in the glossary as I played. Me, supreme enjoyer of all codices ever. It's just not something most players are ever going to do, as much as it the lore is such a fundamental part of the game in general. That means simplifying terms where possible — elven gods in place of Evanuris, for example — but also trimming down what would have to necessarily reference past games. Only a tiny fraction of the fanbase has played Inquisition in the last 3 years, nevermind this year.
Recontextualizing the lore. That does not mean rebooting it, it means situating all we have learned so far in a framework that fits all we have learned so far. Much of what we learned about the Evanuris seemed, for so long, to be totally separate for the things we knew about the blight and Blights. Veilguard needed to show us how those things relate, and to do so in a fresh context that would allow everyone to develop new understanding.
Pushing us one step past Inquisition's knowledge. Veilguard, after reframing the lore, had to leave us a path for new lore, and increased understanding. I think the devs put it really well when they say that their aim is to give us some answers, but leave us with even more questions. More on that later, and in future posts.
Updating Thedas' ethos. Let's face it. It has been 15 years since Origins came out. The things that were more typical of scifi/fantasy (SFF) then are just not the same now, and would not be perceived by 2024 players in the same way as by those who started Origins in 2009. The world has changed; our cultural understandings are broadening and need to continue broadening. BioWare is doing a good thing by incorporating things like nonbinary identities into Veilguard, and it is good that Veilguard is progressing the world of gaming in that way, especially considering its success. (This is also, I wager, why we choose an Archon out of two choices who want the same thing, rather than leaving that open to a more "evil" option).
Dislodge older fans from their Solas headcanons to get everyone old and new to the same confusion and potential distrust. Hear me out. Everyone who's stayed since Inquisition has beliefs about Solas. Even me, who got here in March of this year, whose fic reads overly soft now because I just didn't know Solas' grander plan until 48 hours before Veilguard came out. Everyone has had headcanons for so long that everyone has had time for their opinions of Solas to cement themselves. In order for Veilguard to work as a story, they had to debunk what everyone thought they knew: both lovers and haters of the famously controversial egg. By breaking down our existing beliefs, the devs open up essential curiosity from the players as to who—and what—Solas really is, which propels us through the narrative and has us absorbing information.
And this curiosity? It is why Veilguard could not have the Inquisitor as its protagonist. To keep us curious as players (and "readers" of the lore), BioWare needed a new protagonist.
Specifically, they needed Rook.
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The Protagonist: Why Rook's Perspective Matters
Here's the thing. The protagonist is not just the face of the game. They are our vehicle to understanding that game. The plot follows their wants and responds to their understanding. What they don't know, what they want to know, is what makes up our every objective. Their emotional journey through the game is our emotional journey through the game. Following it, going after the things that matter to our protagonist, is how the entire game (including its lore) takes shape in our minds.
That's why it's essential that they don't know everything—especially after a ten year interim between games.
Veilguard's plot and twists proved that the Inquisitor did not know everything. They, in fact, knew less than half of everything. If we had kept them as the protagonist, all of our knowledge and curiosity would be shaped by the Inquisitor's understanding: a wrong understanding. We could constantly be fighting with what we think the Inquisitor should know, what should be true because we had seen it through the Inquisitor. We would be set up to be at odds with the very events of the game. Rook is a blank slate, barring a few key tonal indicators, and that blank slate allows for us to fit all previous lore into its new, recontextualized shape that I mentioned above. (Again, note that I am not saying rebooted.)
That, and Rook has multiple motivations. The Inquisitor is focused largely on stopping or saving Solas; Rook is charged with figuring everything out as it is happening to them in real time with almost no context or experience, AND stopping or saving Solas. The Inquisitor has existing allies and resources; Rook does not. Rook must build their own campaign from the ground up, and that means the player is building their own experience from the ground up. Their allies, abilities, and home base, yes, but also their knowledge. Discovering things at the same pace as Rook, with a similarly urgent drive to do so, keeps the game from infodumping at us. It keeps the reveals evenly spaced, but also immediately interesting to the player.
And best of all? Rook allows the writers to do what they want to Solas without breaking his dynamic with the endless sea of Inquisitors (or, at least, with way less risk of doing so). We needed to have our theories about him broken down and rebuilt as players; to do that to the Inquisitor would damage an entire sea of headcanons. We'd never get the Solavellan ending we wanted, for instance, if Solas had played mind games with Lavellan for that many months. And if Solas didn't do those things, if he'd been wholly defanged, he would have lost his appeal and importance in the narrative. He wouldn't be the Dread Wolf in the ways that matter to Veilguard.
It's important, then, that Rook has just the slightest bit of backstory. They care about their allies. They are not a potential political force like the Inquisitor. They have many options to be impulsive. Every single Rook has rebelled against authority. Every single one has a stubborn streak. BioWare put all those qualities there on purpose, because Solas uses every single one, in every single Rook, as a tool. That was all essential for his character development in this game! At the same time, they couldn't do that with the Inquisitor as protagonist, because after 10 years, no two Inquisitors are similar enough to predict/script their actions and responses in that way.
Those twists are perhaps the most important tool for forward momentum in the game. The more they keep us guessing, the more we'll play and seek new information, the more we'll learn. Which brings me to...
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The 3 Act Structure: Our Lens
Like I said: BioWare couldn't just infodump at us in Veilguard. It wouldn't be interesting to even half the fans that stayed, these ten years. To keep us engaged as players, they had to string the lore through a series of engaging events. Keep the momentum up, so we would not be lazily looking over codices, but chasing new knowledge and understanding. It all had to be emotionally relevant and resonant to keep us caring, because very few people play games they don't care about.
Veilguard, like a lot of written art, follows the three act structure. Though there are a lot of variants on the more precise beats, they all broadly follow the same-ish path.
Hook: The opening image. In Disney movies, this is the song where the character sings about all the things they want in their journey, and what they truly need is only implied. It gives an opening note for the theme by showing what the character lacks, and what they might need to gain before defeating the final villain. In Veilguard, this is our prologue, centered entirely around Varric: the big red herring where we see that Rook is out of their depth, opting to push over a support beam rather than take on the Dread Wolf. Off-screen, it is also the background information about Rook, showing us who they are and what they want before we play.
Inciting Incident: The event that kicks off the main plot. In DA:tV, there's a big collection of these (because every companion needs one; we'll get to that). The first big one is, of course, the failed ritual. The death Rook doesn't see. The Evanuris are freed, but Rook has only half the information.
First Plot Point: "Plot Point" means "big/defining decision" in writer-speak. This is the moment the protagonist decides to go forth on their adventure. In video games, this is more or less determined for you, but you have the option to flavour this moment in Veilguard. You can choose how to tell Solas that you'll do what he wants: either by appeasing him or angering him. You do the same for Neve and Harding afterward, and then again in Arlathan and D'Meta's Crossing. You state that you're doing this, no matter what it takes.
First Pinch Point / "The Setback": "Pinch" means "twist" in writer-speak. It's the first time the narrative is shaken up, and is also usually the first time we see the true scope of the villain. In Veilguard, the first big twist has been called "the Setback" by some of the devs (notably, I heard it at a panel in September). For Veilguard, this is Weisshaupt. We see the true scope of Ghilan'nain's horrors, but we also see the first BIG hints (outside of Varric) that Solas is manipulating us—because he really doesn't seem to hate the Wardens as much as Inquisition enjoyers like myself expected. This event concludes act 1.
"New World" / "Fun and Games": The devs have remarked that they wanted to see the tone of their setback (Weisshaupt) threaded through the rest of the game, and we do: through Davrin and Lucanis' banter, through the reflections on the consequences of Weisshaupt, through every character struggling with their confidence and identity after that point, through the blight getting worse and worse and worse. That's what the New World is: the characters getting used to new circumstances after that first big twist. The Fun and Games are the slow and steady recovery from the twist, warming and solidifying formerly tenuous relationships. This is where we do a lot of companion and faction quests.
Midpoint: In a narrative that ends in a victory (so most games ever), the midpoint is a false victory. We think we've nailed something, only for something else to happen that begins to seed doubt in the protagonist's capability and/or ability to solve the plot. For Veilguard, this is the blighted dragon fight: we think we've got Ghilan'nain, but then Elgar'nan shows up and demonstrates that Rook is in so, so over their head.
Second Pinch Point: The second twist. The villain's identity is crystal-clear, and by now we've definitely interacted with the villain more directly. This is Arlathan, Elgar'nan's mind-trap—and Solas' "rescue" of Rook, showing his duplicity in full. Elgar'nan notably says a line about not falling for Fen'Harel's tricks again, and it foreshadows what we will see of Solas.
Disaster / Crisis: This is the event that triggers the protagonist's downward spiral. Not a twist (necessarily), but a catastrophe. In Veilguard's case, it's both: the Ghilan'nain fight leaves one companion dead-dead and another presumed dead. Then, the twist: Solas using Rook's sharply felt regret to pull his gambit and swap places with them. A series of events that literally had me gasping so frequently I got dizzy. Thanks, BioWare :) Many people say that this event, or something between this event and the "All is Lost" beat, conclude act 2. For games, the pacing is sometimes different, as is the cutoff mark, because otherwise the third act has the potential to be very short.
"All is Lost" / The Dark Night of the Soul: It's exactly as the name suggests: all has been lost. The protagonist doubts themself completely. It seems like nothing more can go wrong, and like nothing might ever go right again. The protagonist is at a loss for how to move forward. In Veilguard? Varric is dead. Davrin/Harding is dead. Bellara/Neve is dead. Rook is literally trapped not only in their regret, but in a reflection of Solas' regret. And to get out, they'll need...
"The Epiphany" / Second Plot Point: "Plot point" means "big/defining decision" in writer-speak, as stated above. Only this one contains more layers than the first. This is where the thematic statement of the piece comes out: the lesson that the protagonist must learn is stated, clearly, for all of us to see. It is the thing that picks them up off the ground, giving them strength to face the climax and the danger it promises. In Veilguard, this is Varric saying to Rook, "Have you learned nothing here?" and reminding both Rook and player that he chose this; Rook's companions chose this; we cannot blame ourselves for the actions of others. We cannot carry grief for other people, or we'll drown in it. Sound like any other character we know?
Climax: The big fight! But also, the big moment where the theme is shown to be the narrative key. In every ending of Veilguard, Rook being Solas' perfect mirror is the key to winning the day against the Dread Wolf. It just depends on what facet of Solas Rook chooses to mirror: the trickster, the nasty combatant, or the person who was haunted by their own failings and lost companions.
Resolution: Narrative threads are tied up, or a promise is made to tie up those loose ends in future installations. Veilguard's credits do both of those things. :)
Why am I telling you all of this? Because the lore must follow that skeleton. Every reveal we get must fit into both the timing and the feeling of those events. It would not fit to suddenly drop everything about the Titans right after Rook gets to the Lighthouse, which is why those enemies you need to kill to get the last memories are level 30-40. It would not fit to uncover everything about the blight's origin before Weisshaupt. If they forced us into that as players, all the casual fans and new players would duck out, feeling overwhelmed.
Even for us older fans, narrative structure shapes significance. You can tell a lot about a codex's overall importance and tone just by understanding where you find it, and when. That's why the Trespasser codices carry so much weight, even the ones about the Evanuris' actions that we don't see on screen at all: they are at the bitter end, and so they carry all the bitterness, longing, and mourning of that ending. Without the context of Trespasser, they mean less.
This is also why Veilguard paces its companion quests this way, not allowing you to complete them until later in the game. Every companion has something to teach us, and BioWare wanted to give each companion's narrative the weight it deserved.
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The Companions: Paths to Our Answers — and Future Games
Anyone who's played Inquisition knows that companion quests shape entire facets of the lore in individual games, as well as set us up for the trajectory of the next games. Just look at Solas and Cole: together, they shaped our whole understanding of spirits in Veilguard. They set us up to ask all the right questions about not only spirits being bound as demons (Solas' quest), but about spirits being able to manifest in physical shape (Cole's quest). Together, their narrative conclusions foreshadowed much of the Evanuris' reveals in Veilguard: that they were spirits who could manifest into corporeal shape, and that they had the ability to ask others to manifest—and then bind them.
Again, these quests are paced throughout Inquisition's main plot. You cannot do their before Skyhold, and you cannot do them after the cutoff of (I believe) the Temple of Mythal. Inquisition forces you to see those quests' endings in the exact right spot: sometime around the midpoint (Adamant/WEWH), but before the disaster/dark night (the Temple of Mythal). They do that so you will feel that those things are significant.
Veilguard does the same thing. Every companion has a facet of the lore attached to it, but you cannot follow those threads to their conclusions at the beginning of the game. The game won't let you, because the moments need to be spaced out properly and carry the necessary emotional weight. Not all of their quests promise speculative material for future games in the same way, because some explain the context of the current game (Varric, in DAI, accomplished both with the red lyrium content, for instance; Leliana, meanwhile, dealt with the theme of faith in DAI and did not promise future speculation).
These concepts will all get far more attention in due time, but in short, here's what I think is associated with each companion:
Harding: Titans! But also, angry titans, and the difference between "angry titan" and "source of blight." In the same vein, what the dwarves should do going forward, and where they should place the titans in their culture.
Neve: The soul of Veilguard; her narrative is very current to DA:tV, in my early understanding. But she brings forth a lot of nuance to the themes of regret, and what that regret looks like on a smaller scale (a city, rather than a world). She does a lot of work in showing us that regret is regret, no matter the scale, and that the work we do to do better matters, no matter the scale. Additionally, her personal quest foreshadows Solas' use of blood magic against us being more than we thought by showing off Aelia's puppets, suggesting to us (tonally) that Rook may be Solas' puppet.
Bellara: The Forgotten Ones!! Anaris! Also, the place of ancient elvhenan in the future of Thedas, and what the elves should do/feel going forward.
Lucanis: I think they were going for some Forgotten One/Forbidden One hints, judging by some notes from the Ossuary and some banter between Lucanis and the others. This needs more dissection. Lucanis sort of does both what Bellara and Neve do: the Forgotten Ones, and also the heart of Veilguard's theme, with a lot of found family vibes thrown in.
Davrin: The blight itself, and the future of the blight without any archdemons left to cause capital-B Blights. Thedas' path to healing its nature.
Emmrich: The nature of what spirits are. I need to go screencap more specifics, but I swear this necromancer has referenced the difference between spirit and human soul and has stumbled upon saying that the two might not be so different at least once. Also, the Formless One centers around the Necropolis, and I'm thinking "spirits seeking bodies" and this whole idea of unlife/undeath is going to be explored later.
Taash: Remember how I said BioWare needed an ethos update? I think we see that most predominantly in Taash, whose entire personal quest is an examination of the values and priorities of different cultures, as well as the place of gender and gender ideology in Thedas. We saw this with Dorian and Krem in DA:I, but Taash modernizes that conversation (10 years has changed a lot!) and brings it front-and-center. At the same time, their existence is referencing (potentially) the Scaled Ones, and showing us that the kossith (Qunari) might have far more ties to Evanuris shenaniganry than we thought—and that those shenanigans did not happen on Thedas, but potentially far across the sea. (Neve and Lucanis accomplish this, also, with the Shadow Dragons and Crows, but not to the degree that Taash does).
This is why the companion quests MATTER, and (at least partially) why the game asks you to complete these quests or suffer consequences in the finale.
You know what else happens, upon completion of these companion quests?
You get codices. In Dragon Age, they are the threads that tie the seemingly disconnected pieces of the plot together, and that's on purpose. This time, they automatically unlock upon completing different stages of companion quests—and as far as I can tell right now, days after completing the game for the first time, the ones revealed later DO contain spicier hints about future lore than those revealed earlier.
And between ALL of these things—the demands Veilguard's timing placed on Bioware, the need for Rook as a protagonist, and the structure for every companion's quests—I think BioWare did an amazing, genius job with their narrative. Yes, I have seen some of the art book content, and yes, it would have been so cool to have those things, but... I truly do not think BioWare needed them, as close as I would have held cameos like Cole to my heart.
From a lore perspective? They knocked it out of the gods-damned park with Veilguard. They did an amazing job with each of their quests, and I promise: there is no shortage of juicy lore to be found in Veilguard. Now that I've inflicted an outline of what I know about stories upon you, I promise: all of this serves as context for everything I look forward to saying in future posts.
_____
If you got this far, thank you, as always!
This series is going to take a turn toward what I noticed in Veilguard, how I feel that Veilguard adds to my theories (or perhaps debunks some of them), and where I think the series is going to go from here. But in order to write all that properly and miss as little as possible (even though, in November 2024, with no wiki or transcripts, I am guaranteed to miss things), I need to keep playing the game and keep reading the codices I find.
Stay tuned for the next instalments, though I cannot say how quickly they will come after this. <3
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lemotmo · 3 days ago
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Hi, I need to get something of my chest if I may. If not, feel free to ignore this message. ❤️ I've been so livid and angry about some peoples rasist, sexist and dare I say queerphobic behaviour all because of a fucking FICTIONAL character!! It's been going on for months but this is really the tip of the iceberg, like fuck those hypocritical asslickers and lfj for instigating it, for everything they said. Wanting for Ryan to get deported? Like where to? Texas?? All of a sudden he's not white enough lmao. And everything else they are saying about him and Oliver and Angela Bassett??? I'm not saying lfj didn't get hate but lmao he knew for like two months that he was leaving... Them claiming he's a victim and that he was bullied of the show when he was only a guest star and sorry to say not that great of an actor... I have no sympathy for him and based on all the problematic shit he said, I'm glad we are rid of him and his minions. Good riddance I say, no one is going to miss them! And with the shitstorm they are causing, why would the show want lfj back or any show for that matter??? I wasn't around prior to S7, but I understand what Tim meant about the fandom being worse than ever. I've been in some fandoms where things were tense but nothing like this. Sorry for the rant, it's just so infuriating to see how they behave toward real life people over a bland fictional character. They can like who they want for whatever reason, but imo there here are tons of better gay characters out there and claiming he was some revolutionary representation or whatever tells me all I need to know about them. Sorry again for the rant idk who to talk to about this. Hope you have a nice day! ❤️🙏
Oh Nonny, it's clear you needed to get this off your chest. It's okay. I get it.
You only came in during season 7? You missed such a great period before that. I'm not saying everything was alway perfect and there definitely was fandom discourse. That's unavoidable. But it was discourse on another level. Nowhere near the level we reached over the last couple of months.
But as soon as the Tommies appeared things changed considerably. We were all harassed, accused of terrible things and called 'delusional' for shipping Buddie, a ship that had been around since season 2.
We went from a relative peaceful fandom to a toxic fandom in one single episode. I got called homophobic for not really vibing with Tommy two days after the episode had aired. It was the beginning of a long and very exhausting journey for all of us.
Tommy/Lou and his unhinged fans are the worst thing that has ever happened to the 911 fandom.
But what is done is done. We can't go back. We can only move forward from here. And the future seems so much brighter. No more Tommy and after the way Lou egged his fans on to attack the show and Oliver? Well, we won't ever see him back at ABC. 😏
So let it all out Nonny and then move on. We're in the thick of things right now, but it will all soon pass. As soon as the fandom moves on to the new episode, the Tommies will scatter and probably follow Lou to SWAT. Some hardcore Tommies will stick around, but if we all collectively ignore them, they'll eventually go away as well.
I hope you have a lovely day Nonny!
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globalrebrand · 2 days ago
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i love all ur depictions of vil and i’m so happy u took a liking to lyney who’s also my fav ❤️ ur toxic vil in particular haunts my brain, lives in my floorboards and echoes in the halls of my mind at night….so may i humbly please request “forcing them to divulge past traumas or secrets” with vil? 🥹
Warnings: Dead dove, do not eat. Mentions of past sexual assault, nonconsensual age gap relationship.
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Vil had been quiet since you'd left the party.
This wasn't unlike him. At the end of a long night of socializing, he generally preferred to hold your hand or, even better, sit with you tucked against his side in the back of his car while his driver navigated you both to his penthouse.
But tonight, the gap between the middle seat felt like an unbridgeable canyon stretched between the two of you.
It was his father's 50th birthday celebration held at the family home. The Shaftlands elite came out in droves to celebrate the beloved Eric Venue.
The night started well enough. Vil was more than happy to introduce you to his wider circle of famous friends and loved ones. As an up-and-coming model with a promising career (even more so with Vil proudly claiming you as his), your agent wouldn't let you forget how this was a rare opportunity to expand your network, but you weren't here for any of that. Tonight, all you wanted to do was support your boyfriend and his father at this critical milestone.
Vil made the rounds with you, introducing you to well known actors, actresses, veteran supermodels, producers and directors all gathered to celebrate his father.
You and Vil were in fragile territory as a couple. If you were able to successfully demonstrate that you could be one of them, an elite, a star, then you and Vil were looking at a future as one of the foremost power couples in the industry.
Thankfully, things were going splendidly; you spoke at the correct times and came off as appropriately humble and down to earth as an outsider in such an elite group. You took great pride in how Vil beamed as he watched you gracefully interact with these other celebrities, your natural charisma on full display. It was hard to get any higher off the fumes of his affection, then he paused, observing you with a tender look and petting the apple of your cheek with a smooth thumb before quietly admitting, "I'm so happy I have you."
That was until you ran into him.
"There's one more person I want you to meet," Vil said warmly, urging you away from your current conversation to meet a distinguished-looking white-haired gentleman.
"Uncle Valle, this is my girlfriend." Vil beamed but the director had a sickening look on his face, ignoring his nephew and addressing you with far too much familiarity.
"Long time no see." You froze. Valle Mensing is a world-famous director and a man you'd desperately hoped never to see again.
"Uh- I think you're mistaken. It's nice to meet you." You avoided eye contact, suddenly finding your shoes interesting, was you felt Vil bore daggers into the side of your head.
The older man raises an eyebrow in slight disbelief.
"Hmmm, you're right my mistake." Thankfully Valle just patted Vil on the back mentioning, "lovely girl you got there, take good care of her."
Vil grabbed your hand and tugged you close to whisper in your ear.
"What was that?" You wouldn't do this now, couldn't.
"Vil, I feel a little sick. I'm going to step out into the garden. If you'll excuse me," you excused yourself, leaving Vil absolutely baffled and more than definitely ensuring that he was suspicious of your interaction with his beloved uncle.
You had no idea they were so close, and now you were scared. You prayed Vil would just let it alone, as unlikely as it would be, but you didn't want to make him choose. Rather, you didn't want to be rejected by him in favor of his dastardly uncle.
You both left shortly after. Vil's mood was considerably soured, and a paranoid expression became etched into your features.
Now, it has been about 20 minutes of driving, and still, no word has passed between you.
Uncertain of what to anticipate, you needed to at least confirm where Vil would be dropping you off tonight. You had a sinking suspicion that your behavior tonight didn't earn you the privilege to share his bed.
"Are you dropping me off or-" You're quickly interrupted.
"What relationship do you have with my uncle?" Vil turned to look at you, his eyes already brimming with judgment.
The impulse to lie was so strong. You'd done it for so long. You knew Vil would likely see right through it, but you had to try. Try to protect yourself and him from the truth. It was only when you were with Vil that you felt as if you had any worth. If he knew your past, what had actually transpired between you and his uncle, you're certain he would no longer want you.
And then, who would you be?
"I don't have any-" You started, but as you suspect, you were cut off almost immediately.
"Why did he say 'long time no see?'" Vil questioned, leering over you with a raised brow. "Don't play dumb. It's unbecoming." He scolded, a coldness in his eyes but an unmistakable look of morbid curiosity. Vil likely already suspected what you would reveal to him, but he wanted to hear it from your lips and force you to bear the most vulnerable parts of yourself to him.
"Vil I-"
"I saw you speak to him in the garden. What were you speaking about."
"It was a long time ago." Your face was hot, and your voice pinched and weary. Tears threatening to spill at any moment.
Vil sighed, exasperated and desperate for the truth. It was obvious he was done waiting for you to confess in earnest.
"Did you fuck him?" The words struck you like a blade to the chest.
"Please, I-" You wanted to retreat and hide, but there was no cover from Vil's relentless barrage of questions and accusations in the backseat.
"Did you or did you not. If you don't tell me now, we're finished."
A long silence passed between you as you tried to form the words in your mouth.
"Yes." The words come out cracked and dry. A horrible truth you didn't want to deny. The tears had started falling now, hysterical sobs wracking your entire body. You prayed the driver had the decency not to spare you a glance.
"Did he force you?" Vil questioned. Less angry, but not even remotely comforting.
"It doesn't matter, please. I just want to live in the now with you!"
"He did, didn't he. He raped you?" You tried to verbalize to say yes, he did...many times, but all you could do was nod wordlessly.
"I need you to tell me exactly what happened tonight."
"H-he asked me why I didn't tell you about our relationship. And I said because it's not something I'm proud of." Calming yourself with stuttering breaths, you admit, "Vil, I'm not lying when I say it is my greatest shame."
"Why don't people know about this?" He's angry. Hurt.
"Because...I wasn't exactly of age at the time." Vil startles, like you've smacked him.
Quietly, as asked, "How old were you?"
"15."
He curses in his native tongue, looking angry and disgusted.
"My agency lied about my age to get me into the country." You went on to explain.
I didn't want to, but they said the connection would benefit my career, and I didn't know any better.
"I've never told anyone."
At that Vil perked up. A pitying look on his face as he embraced you for the first time since you left the party.
"You should not have been subjected to anything so horrible."
We'll go to my home. I wouldn't want you to be alone after having to face that awful man.
"You won't say anything, right?" You plead. Vil tsks.
My love, he can't be allowed to go free.
Think about all of the other women- No. Girls. He's hurt because of your silence.
You were very courageous in telling me, but I cannot allow you to be silent about this any longer."
Don't worry, darling. No one who hurts will ever be allowed to go unpunished.
You nodded and clung tighter to your boyfriend, grateful that, at least, he didn't seem like he would leave you, but somehow, you weren't comforted by his assertion.
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greatpoetrychopshop · 2 days ago
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About DA:TV ending
My thoughts on the veilguard ending, which might be not in line with most people think of it, in particular on the final scene (but I would very much like your opinion and point of view in replies).
I finished the game yesterday and I didn't stop thinking about the implications of the last Solavellan scene, asking myself many questions and the more I think about it, the less I am happy with the fate of the ship.
I do believe that the Solavellan ending is not as happy as many people thought it would be. To be honest, I think Solavellan's fate is particularly sad, awful. I did not intend to express my opinion about it but I am so troubled by it that I need to write it down.
Let's talk about the thing I liked first; I really loved the fact that Mythal decided to "free Solas from his duties" toward her. It implies that from the very moment Solas took a physical body, he was torn between its nature turned to Wisdom and his proud side growing from his actions dictated by Mythal, showing that the many mistakes he had done are as much Mythal's fault than his, which, in my opinion, calls for a fate made of redemption, and hope in a future where he could finally choose his destiny. As a fan of the Dragon Age saga, from the very beginning we know that forcing a spirit doing things against its nature is a terrible thing, and Solas, as any spirit we saw having the same fate in the franchise, deserves our compassion and his friends forgiveness.
However, what is his fate when he is convinced to make peace with his past mistakes? Going back to the prison (this has been confirmed by Weekes on their social media account BlueSky), and linking his destiny with the Veil and protect it as much as he can. And I insist on it, it's a PRISON, so it is very much implied that he is PUNISHED for his past actions.
Are we talking about the same prison Rook has been stuck ? This place of horrible emptiness and despair, cut from the rest of the world and the Fade itself, the Fade he loves so much ?
That means that Lavellan will live with him yes, but a Lavellan cut from her roots, her family, her Dalish clan, her friends she made while running the Inquisition ?
I don't think this is a deserved fate for any of them.
There is as well the argument that an immortal being must be linked to the Veil for it to not collapse, that feels like a last minute narrative twist to force the ending toward a certain direction, and justifying (again) that Solas cannot choose his fate.
Solas is now bound to the Veil by blood, and the implications of this are SO HUGE, that means that he has now new duties that falls upon him (after spending millenias having duties toward Mythal), after deserving having his own destiny in hand. That means as well he is FORCED to remain alive in order to maintain the Veil and avoid a new cataclysm that would destroy the world.
And what does that mean for both Solas and Lavellan? He is condemned to live forever, again, not choosing his fate, and see Lavellan die, for she is mortal. And THIS, for me, is the coup de grace.
Solas wanted two things : having a simpler life just like the one he had while helping the Inquisition, and not dying alone. Both of them are not resolved, for there is no chance that he could have a simpler life with his life now bound to the Veil, and being left alone in the world as ages pass…
I cannot see it as a good ending for them and I cannot imagine anyone thinking this knowing all those facts.
There could have been such better ending for them, I had that idea that maybe Solas could have known the same fate similar to what Cole had, meaning that there was a possibility for him to become more human, even if its mindset and personality would have been a little altered.
An Ancien immortal Elven, choosing to become mortal, and finally making its own choices with his lover at his side with a death he could have chosen. It would have made a wonderful echo to the discussion Varric and Solas while trying to help Cole during his personal quest, and a last hommage to the character of Varric himself that remain central to the story of Veilguard itself…
I know that every Dragon Age game has its story with a certain bittersweet ending, but what I feel for the Solavellan ship is not bittersweet, it's unfairness, after everything we kown of this two wonderful characters…
As I am writing down right now, I feel so enraged by this ending and non said things about it, leaving us with questions calling only, if we apply logic, for dreadfull answers.
For my part, I will let the Veilguard behind me (even though there are some parts that I enjoyed anyway) go back to DA:I in some time and make my own headcanon for the Solavellan ship, far from the one Bioware decided, unless there is a possibility for both of them in the future to have a better resolution.
Anyway please don't hesitate to comment to tell me what is your opinion about it, if you don't agree I'm very interested.
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brazenmedico · 2 days ago
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Alex knows he messed up when it came to Jo and how things are right now. He knew her history and that is why this was even harder. He took her trust and threw it away, knowing she would feel that way. Knowing she would feel a certain way when it came to him telling her just what happened. But in his own mind, he was protecting her. That is why this was complicated in a way he didn't want it to be. Alex didn't want to be the reason she didn't believe in anything anymore. Knowing she had raised herself, basically the same as him even though he had a mother, but she was considered crazy. But Alex, he was nothing like his mother, he was actually sick and needed to get better knowing Jo needed him and he needed her.
They have come along way. Before, Alex would sleep with anyone and want to just be with someone to be with them. But, when it comes to Jo, it all changed because they had potential before they got together. But it was a challenge as she had seen how he was, and she kept saying no, that was until finally she said yes, and here they were. Married and talked about the future, something Alex has never done, not even with Izzie. The first time they said I love you was during a storm and Alex remembers all too well and that is what he holds onto. he wants nothing more then for her and him to work it out.
He panicked and left. He wrote her a note that wasn't true. Just because he didn't want her chasing him and seeing just what was going on. But seeing her first thing when he got back in Seattle wasn't in his plans, but here they were. She wasn't convinced on the why he did the things he did and didn't take her with him. he had people around him and he knew if something happened they would have called her. Just, he wasn't sure at the time he could face her feeling the way he was and not really knowing just what was going on with himself, and why he was sick. Maybe it was karma for everything else he has done before meeting her and finally having someone he can be happy with. But Jo letting him back in the place they called home before he left meant everything to him. She didn't have to but she did. But they also had a lot to talk about as well.
Alex also knew this wasn't going to be fixed overnight and he had a lot of explaining to do, and also, a lot of just soul searching and hoping Jo understood. "I know, and the decision to leave wasn't against anyone but me. I just, I don't know, I am supposed to be the strong one, and then I wasn't and I panicked because I didn't even know what was going on. It was nothing against anyone, I just didn't know what to do honestly. But i couldn't live with myself if I never came back. i was strong enough to get on a plane and come back to you. I know you're hesitant and I don't blame you, but I have a follow up tomorrow, if you're wanting to go. I wouldn't hold it against you if you didn't considering everything."
This was him being open and honest about the thing that made him feel weak and thinking Jo didn't want him because of it.
Continued storyline with @briskofagony
Alex knows the way that he left wasn’t ideal. He wrote a letter and lied about everything. Maybe it was just all in his head that Jo would just forget about it and move on. But she didn’t. She didn’t at all. The letter was just a way of getting out of something and doing this alone so she didn’t have to see him sick. That was not something that Alex asked for. He didn’t ask for being sick, but New York was the best place to go with the hospitals there and the options they had. That is why he went there and that is why Alex was mad at himself for writing those words and telling Jo something that would never happen. He knows she had to be hurt, but he didn’t know until he got back in Seattle. 
He thought he was protecting her. He thought he was really doing the right thing by Jo. Really just trying to do what was right for him and her at that time, but seeing the look on her face and seeing the look when he told her that, he figured he didn’t do anything right by no means. Maybe he was just scared about the fact that he was sick and he could have not been the same person, so he was just trying to really feel things out and see where he was when he got back. But it didn’t make it easier. It made it harder knowing that Jo was hurt and he was the one who caused all the hurt she was feeling. 
That is why he wanted to let her in on the meeting about everything that was going on. About his work that had to be done to get back to work and just regarding his heath and the treatments he had to still undergo. But seeing the look in her eyes, he knew they needed to talk. He needed to explain himself and they needed to get back to being how they were before he left. So when she called he didn’t miss the opportunity to get back to the place they used to call home with one another. Where they used to have a lot of good times and maybe, after this talk they will be getting back to that. But Alex wasn’t going to push at all. He knows he messed up and he knew she wouldn’t forgive him that easily. But it was worth a shot. 
He just wanted to be honest with her. Maybe this wasn’t his best interest and maybe this wasn’t an ideal situation but he was learning to let it all go and just talk this time. He wanted her to understand and Jo deserved that. Nodding his head, he wanted Jo involved in all of this now. He wanted Jo to be apart of his recovery now that he knew he would be okay and she wouldn’t miss out on anything else because Alex doesn’t want that either. He wants her there. “Of course, I want you there Jo. I am sorry for leaving the way I did, I kind of panicked I guess you can say and didn’t really know what I was doing at the time. But now I know what I’m doing and I know I was dumb. So I’m sorry. Really. All that happens, you are involved now.”
Alex was exhausted and just wanted to lay down and with his arms around her and backing into the bed and laying down and she was beside him, Alex can’t help but chuckle at her words. “I am holding you to that. Just right now, I am so exhausted and I’m sorry. I know I am just getting back here, but I need a nap. So see you when I wake up in a little bit?” He presses a soft kiss onto her head and his hand was rested on her back and before he knew it, sleep took over and his body was finally relaxed after being tense for a while.
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bunnihearted · 9 months ago
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🐰🩹🧸🏨
#i hate being in pain like this#bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else#im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain#it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly#im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it#idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr#im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again#im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know#im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :((#i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life#i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain#i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit#getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up#i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked#which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for#i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :(#and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues#im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong#idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this
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iniziare · 4 months ago
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Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.
#seele. [ we tell them “things will be better tomorrow.” everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope. ]#seele: ic. [ he always says “humanity's endless conflicts”; but you don't get peace by offering everything up on a silver platter. ]#seele: inquiries. [ that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess. ]#seele: countenance. [ to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them. ]#seele: introspection. [ the chief's right. sometimes a sharp blade is the only way to get people to come to their senses. ]#seele: meta. [ she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless. ]#seele: little notes. [ they only eat half their meal; throw the rest away. do they know people below haven't got enough food to eat? ]#seele: wishes. [ where there's hope: there's the will to fight. ]#seele: etc. [ a young girl smiles subtly. “how? right here; right now; i am alone… but it feels... very lively.” ]#seele: underworld. [ what's more important than miracles; seele. is to protect people's hopes for miracles. ]#seele: overworld. [ oleg saw how a look of gloom passed over her tender face. “let's go back. i don't want to come back here again.” ]#seele: sampo. [ wildfire has countless issues on its place right now. we don't need a side order of koski. ]#seele: sampo. [ so we're there; now it's real. now that you have me; do you want me still? ] inominati.#seele: bronya. [ they go their separate ways: one stepping into the light; and the other into the shadows. until one day; they meet again.#seele: natasha. [ i learned quickly that tantrums won't get you anywhere. she knows how to give you a taste of your own medicine. ]#seele: oleg. [ i probably owe my life to the chief. ]#seele: hook. [ don't let her appetite for chaos fool you; i think that kid's going places. ]#seele: v. youth. [ everyone in the dark side of town knew that fearless homeless girl. everyone wanted to avoid that wild; stubborn rascal.#seele: v. underworld. [ just what we all need: more lies about a world that never was and never will be. ]#seele: v. present. [ can you imagine the consequences if we told the people what happened here? they'd be devastated. ]#seele: v. future. [ ... priorities? what do you mean? are you saying rebuilding the underworld isn't one of your “priorities”? ]
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gatun-gatunesco · 1 year ago
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Fleabag
"it will pass... i love you, too... ok"
#personal post#then again i forced myself through finishing Fleabag season 2. Less painful than the first one with my sex repulsion.#yet. more hurting in the deep and bigger skeme of things. mostly about love and how hard it is#she of course is a constant reminding of them. about they struggles. they problems. they caos and drama they life is#i resonate. of course. with the Priest (with a mix up of Harry still) and it hurts#same as the first one; the last episode is packed with a explosion of events that could be seen little in comparison of the first season#but the pain is more deep. less inmediate. as we practically knew. since the start. that was going to end bad for her but not like that#similar to them and me. we reach the same conclusion. basically#i still have things to say. and in order to not let it root and melt my insides i am speaking them up#some of them here. some of them in a personal way.#i want this pain. this confusion. this feelings that i can not control. this desperation. this burning heart. this remindful mind#this HHHHHHHHHHH... this love to pass#and with that. one day. we might be friends. we might be in each other life without hurting the other. we might be able to talk and have fu#we might be happy to see the other happy once again. even if not together anymore. and that will be alright#i have hope. we are weird afterall. for once i do not want to be right and that we can. in fact be friends even after all our history#but if this is the total end. the need for us to cut all connection. that would be fine too. probably for the best of us#i just. want to have hope for a better future for now. let me have that at least#vent post#tw vent
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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evening has come again huh
#🌙.vent#i'm really sorry for the vents lately but i need a way to let it out. & this. this is as far as i can go with that#i need to do better again i know i can i have to :') people waiting for me. others n me....#last night i downloaded a game for my friend. for her. & then another friend i told her i'll reply before the day ends :< 'take your time'#she said but sob she opened up abt smth n i wna help i really do & fuck it just hurts too bcs i know the ppl around me are. struggling too#i try not to put others b4 myself if i'm struggling like rn but :< i hate the helplessness. wish i cld do smth more for you#i wish i could at least be enough to help them. for you for you whoever you are i would always be willing to make these sacrifices#i'm gna cry it's been so overwhelming lately bcs i'm filled with so much hope and despair simultaneously#what do i do? which do i choose? how do i decide? how am i supposed to do. enough. find a balance#n then other friends i haven't gotten to replying yet today bcs oh i'm too worn down right now n i hate it so much i'm sorry#& other than all the stuff i want to do for myself and for others there's also things like school n#it hurts you know? i'm very much aware i've been worrying my family lately. i can't. sleep properly. i can't bring myself to finish eating#:< n then it also gets overwhelming when i. look to better things. bcs it gen makes me v happy when. idk i feel inspired or creative or wtv#but it hurts when it's also simultaneously so overwhelming bcs it's so hard to do something with it#& thinking of good memories. how fleeting those moments were. how times have changed. but also of. of how more may come#but maybe. maybe only if i'm better. if i'm not this hollow husk of my usual self? fuck i know i'm too harsh on myself. unnecessary pressur#i'm more than it i know. but at times it's just so hard to feel better when i'm. 🥹 i really really don't want to be a disappointment.#for others n. for myself.... bcs i know as always in the future. wtf the fuck happens then. i do know that parts of me will never change.#wnvr i look into my past i'll always know that i deserved being more kind to myself. bcs i'm human too.#this empty feeling of being stuck somewhere being hope n my despair hurts v much bcs it's so contradicting & overwhelming#n i wish in these moments i cld be enough for my future self. n for those around me#i wish i was better at communicating! tell everyone i know how much i appreciate them! how much i wish they'd stay in my life#i wish i cld really just say but i'm afraid that my honesty might scare you away. so instead i hide. you probably don't feel the same nyway#crying it hurts i think past experiences have made me too used to people leaving. but i can't be vulnerable enough to be#soft enough to the extent of being so honest. i've been hurt before when i was kind n younger n naive sure but oh so innocent#struggling sad n it was so bad then that i. oh i remember how it hurt.... i refuse to let myself go through that extent of loneliness again#i wish though that. i could. revive my mind. my motivation my inspo my creativity hasn't exactly dulled but it's become more passive#am i afraid that if i really be myself then i'll be alone again? if i'm weird if i'm too honest n soft n. i don't know.#it hurts feeling like i'm stuck with being too little n too much at the same time. how do i. just be. enough. for you. for me.#it hurts i'm crying i'm sorry i'm so sorry fuck i'm so overwhelmed n lost i don't want to think right now it feels so empty n i'm tired
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drchucktingle · 7 days ago
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the curve
somehow ive found myself in a position where folks come to chuck in times of strife for encouragement. lets get the big part of this conversation out of the way LOVE IS STILL REAL and that is the thing to remember. that north star remains. today there is more to talk about though
existence pushes towards love community and freedom, because CREATION is what we were built to do and creation thrives with these things as fuel. IT GETS BETTER. LOVE IS REAL. however this change comes in up and down waves. its not a straight line and should not be expected to be
some of these waves are short and small, and some of the slopes are years or decades long. there is no mincing words here, we are entering a massive downward wave. the implications are huge and it is okay to mourn that. FEEL THOSE FEELINGS. it is an important part of the ride
the most telling sign post on our slope is this: tromp won the popular vote (or likely will when the votes are done). we can talk POLITICAL STRATEGY all day about electoral college or who should court the center or the left and on and on but ultimately THIS is the real story
to me it signals a TRUE cultural shift. likely conservatives will have presidency, senate, house, and supreme court. WHAT A GIANT SLOPE. HOLD THE HECK ON because we will be riding it for a while, deep into the pit of the void. hold your buds tight, prove love at the local level
but heres the thing, MASSIVE waves have happened before. theyll happen again. mind numbing slopes into the abyss and great soaring leaps into the sky. in fact the inertia almost ALWAYS causes them to happen right after each other. hippies or punks back in the day, buckaroos now
politically we were trapped in a basically fifty fifty trot for a long time, but it was not always like this (just look at old election maps what the heck). to be honest, tromps map looks like one of those old maps right now. and DANG did COUNTER MOVEMENTS blooms from those times
in other words, THERE WILL BE A COUNTER CULTURE MOVEMENT THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN OUR LIFETIMES. you are now a rebel for the resistance and the wave that will swing back towards love will awe us in ways we cannot even imagine yet.
but for now, feel those feelings, mourn, prove love, stay safe. do not let the hope i am espousing feel like a distraction from the very real, even deadly consequences of the terrible pit we are plummeting into. it is a horrible day, and FUTURE HOPE does not diminish that, BUT
get ready because that counter culture wave is coming and YOU are a part of it. if you want to shout HECK OFF DEVILS then shout it LOUD, if you want to cry then cry HARD, if you want to love then love with your WHOLE HEART. thats the start of the movement that we dont know yet
when that movement takes shape we will feel the inertia of the curve and it may make us sick from the rollercoaster turn, and that pressure will be uncomfortable and scary, but THEN buckaroo, we will soar, and ill be so dang glad to be holding on tight with you when we do
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viro-lil-goat · 9 months ago
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I really hope this reaches more people, I'm only reposting this information from Instagram, the least that I can do. (Update: I changed their upbringing as it appears to have been listed wrong) Wiki page
When I just saw this information I couldn't stop crying thinking about it, and now my heart aches. They were the same age as me, I know for a fact like any other teen they dreamt of their future, who they would want to become, what to achieve, create, wondering if they meet those in the future they can call friends, wondeting if it'll get better when they grow up, maybe wished to leave that terrible place or maybe wanted to stay. How could anyone let this happen, why were they discharged from hospital so easily? And the school, we all know why. I hate to think about how, even with all the progress made, these things still happen.
"murdered schoolgirl Brianna Ghey on February 16, 2023. Candlelit vigils are being held across the UK this week for Brianna Ghey, 16, who was stabbed at Linear Park in Culcheth, Cheshire last Saturday. Brianna was a transgender girl and police are now investigating her killing as a hate crime. A boy and girl, both 15, have been charged with her murder"
An article that explains trans hate crime murders as on 2023
I hate everyone who have ever committed such vile hate crimes, I wish them in prison and hell. But i would never go down to their level. But I also blame the government, the school, and even those bigoted online accounts that teach their followers hate. In this case LibsOfTikTok, who targeted the teacher of this school, who supports lgbtq+, so they had to leave their position. It must have been the push for this to happen. I think their tiktok account has been thankfully deleten. But i have no idea about Twitter or any other. Please check and mass report them if it still exists. (Link to Instagram reel that this information is from)
ADDITION, PLEASE MASS REPORT THESE ACCOUNTS
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heroicfaithful · 1 day ago
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Nathan had learned the only reliable person was himself. His parents cared more about fighting over who had better motivates, who wanted to come out clean to be liked by me, rather than care about my well being. Lucas, I hate to say it but we grew to tolerate each other. He was a friend and I guess a part of me was angry at him because he brought Haley into my life. If I wasn’t focused on finding an edge, a way to hurt him get back at him for joining the basketball team, I would’ve never fell in love. I wouldn’t of experienced this feeling of unbearable heartache. But Haley; we made promises, to love each other, always and forever? What an idiot remark.. 
He held up his end, I still loved her; even when he was mad. Nathan was guilty for letting the accident happen. For letting his anger get the best of him. Haley came home, she knocked on his door and all she got was a roll of eyes from him, and he a door closed in her face, at the time it felt justified. Haley put her dreams, her passions before our vows. And Nathan wasn’t mad about her following her dreams, it was more that the mere thought of asking him to come with her never occurred to her. Like our love, how marriage was nothing but false promises. Nathan was sitting her even discussing the option of seeing how our futures land because he felt guilty Haley was hurt because of him. She was stupid to push him out of the way, but that was a conversation for another time. For now he kept silent, until he heard her mention the regret. He didn’t want Haley to regret following her dreams. Nathan knew he had the option for high flyers, his passion, the way his hands fit onto a basketball was indescribable, and he wanted that fire, that passion for Haley. He was about to utter a reply; when he noticed the unsteady expression, the nerves that was slowly hinted into her voice. Our futures; did the brunette have reason to worry? Absolutely, she left me, and sane guy would’ve cut his loses and never came time of day again. But this world didn’t know Haley James, her cute smile, the ease he felt when he was in her presence. But he wasn’t prepared for this talk, one he was nearly dumbfounded upon. 
Licking over his lips as he debated how to approach this subject. Pushing his palms back onto his lap from her hand, he was sitting in this chair, grasping his own thoughts. “ I want to say you should be worried haley, you messed up, forgive yourself for it. We can’t be holding onto mistakes.” Pausing as he lifted his head a soften expression pulling upon his features now. “ But don’t hold regret for that tour Haley, you had a dream, you have talent, I don’t want you regretting your dreams, I definitely wouldn’t.” We inspire the other support; not hope for the downfall. Nathan was proud of Haley, he just didn’t like how she handled herself falling into the trap of Chris, not caring about how I felt, but Nathan was trying; he was accompanying her now trying.
Continued.. We'll find a way
@sagesongbird
It was complicated. That was the only way Nathan could find the words to explain his marriage. For a while it felt gloomy, it felt like our love had fallen apart. And he didn’t want to say an accident is what brought him here but it was. He was so stubborn, he was bent on hurting Haley the same way she had hurt him. He was playing close to the vest because he didn’t want to let his guard down again with her. But he also knew the second he watched her lifeless body get placed in the ambulance that he was still crazy in love. No heartache, no time of her being gone on the tour could replace the love he knew he had for her. He did blame himself; if he had given her the talk she craved, if he had been more willing to hang out to repair our damage we wouldn’t of been tricked, we wouldn’t have been on that street the moment that zooming car came in our direction. 
I was guilty; because Haley jumped in front of a car to save me, to protect me from getting injured, probably to protect my future as a basketball star, but I hated how we got here. Over pride, over the stubborn acts. Nathan told himself he had to communicate, he had to be willing to meet halfway; in order for us to survive. He stayed; he was the one who sat at her bedroom as the brunette was in and out of sleep. He reassured her he was here; he was the one that held her hand. 
His palm never left her own; as he held her touch, His head leaned onto his shoulder; which is why his neck felt stiff when he felt his eyelids lift open. He saw her face; bruised up, her eyes were closed at first until he heard her voice, he held onto her voice as it was a sense of hope for him. “ Hales.. I’m fine, I’m more worry about you. How’re you feeling?” 
It was a stupid question she was hurt; the bruises on her face, on her arm said it all. But Haley was there asking if I was okay; I came out of this unstretched, I was fine. I was walking, I was breathing without injury, I had taken care of myself for years; I could handle a slight fall when she pushed me out of the way, Bringing her palm up to my lips; I pressed a tender kiss to her skin as I mumbled the words. “ I’m not going anywhere.” 
We’d figure out the past, how we overcome it all because we said always and forever.
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