#i just wanted to put my wishes and thoughts out there
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So, I did this not with a villain, but with an NPC from a D&D campaign I’m running on a day where the group didn’t meet. It’s under the cut if you wanna give it a read!
(CW: discussion of death, resurrection, the afterlife, and murder)
Subreddit: r/relationshipadvice
Title: I haven’t seen my husband in 5 years (because I was dead) and I just found out that he left our daughter with his mother for that whole time.
Posted by u/Lovemordian
Apologies in advance if my Common isn’t great; it isn’t my first language.
I (21F) was recently resurrected by a party member of my husband’s (now 26M) after dying in his arms five years ago. Admittedly, the experience was wonderful, since I had always hoped that magic was real and not just the stuff of children’s stories, and I am not upset at living once more. The afterlife is…well, it’s beyond what I need to discuss here.
The issue I am having is this: while I was dead, I was comforted in the knowledge that our daughter (now 8F) was not going to grow up completely parentless even if I could not be with her. However, when I saw her again after returning to life, she mentioned that her grandmother, my husband’s mother, had been caring for her this whole time. She did not grow up with her father, and the one thought that had kept me sane while wandering the fields of the waiting became a lie.
He says that he left her behind with his parents to ensure that no one would use her to pressure him, that the Flesh Collectors wouldn’t use her as bait to get to him. Though I understand the logic of this, I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed. It feels like he’s trying to be the man he was 5 years ago, but I know he’s gone through much in my absence and I wish he would just be honest with me about it. Does anyone have any advice for how to talk to him about this? In some ways, it does feel a bit as if I’m approaching him as a stranger once more.
Update: Thank you to all who replied with your advices and your recommendations. I do want to answer a few of the questions I saw most frequently:
1) Apparently, he tried to avenge my murder after the judge had been paid off, stealing a highly advanced prototypical weapon designed by a classmate of ours (27 NB) to do it. This is why the Flesh Collectors were after him and why he apparently joined a guild for thieves and assassins that, if I understood him right, was run by a staff member at the university? I don’t know; he seems more comfortable speaking Common than Lamordian, so I may be misunderstanding things.
2) Flesh Collectors are sort of like a police force, but more than anything they are scavengers who harvest body parts that scientists need for their work. The “ethical” ones wait until a body is dead to harvest. The majority of them are not ethical.
Now, onto the update: I had the open conversation with my husband that so many of you recommended. I just asked him to tell me what kinds of things had happened while I was dead, and he was honest with me, just as I always remember him being.
While he was on the run for his vengeance, he fell in with the guild I mentioned and did “less than honorable things” to put aside money for our daughter’s future. At first, I thought he was implying that he had sold intimate favors, but he clarified that it was killing people. He did put aside quite a bit, over 10,000 gp, so I do think it was well-meant. And our daughter seems to hold no resentment toward him, so I don’t suppose I should either. For anyone out there who has been resurrected after a while, is this distance I’m feeling just a symptom of that, or is it something I should be concerned about? Perhaps I should speak to my mother-in-law, as she has always been a source of wisdom in my life. I don’t think I will need to update further, but if more developments happen, I will be sure to let you all know.
if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.
#d&d#just DM things#these characters are so sweet I love them so much#Odysseus and Penelope in Epic vibes
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Bless the Telephone ; ##03
James Potter x f!muggle!reader
word count: 1,858
warnings: technically a kiss that is not... desired or consented to? but its quick
a/n: my exams tmr!! i’m shitting bricks lord- also final chapter of bags tmr as well 🤧
series masterlist
main masterlist
You quietly decided to keep your phone on your night table, the cord was a little over-extended from the opposite wall and you were slightly afraid that if you tripped on it the phone would fall to the floor— but it was easier this way; you decided, when James called the next day.
“Hello?” you groaned into the phone, cutting off the loud ringing as fast as you could
“Were you sleeping?”
“Potter?”
“Who else would be calling your phone?”
“Other people also call me- what time is it?”
“Like eleven thirty, didn’t know you were an early sleeper doll”
“Eleven thirty isn't early idiot-” you groaned as you tried rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. “Didn’t think I was going to hear from you anymore”
“Why is that? I obviously gotta call my best girl”
“You don’t even know me”
“Yes, I do— why did you think I wouldn’t call though? I told you I wanted to be friends you silly girl”
“You said you wanted to be friends— But you hung up yesterday,” you held the phone to your ear, the side of your face still pressed against your pillow. “Rather suddenly too”
“Ah, I’m sorry- you know I’m a little funky with phones-” You could almost hear the hesitation in his voice
“D’you mean hopeless?”
“Oh hush-”
“I don’t believe you by the way- but I’ll let it slide” You sighed, stretching your body a bit
A beat of silence stilled over the two of you.
“Thanks…” you hummed in response “What are you up to?” James said, a smile evident on his words
“I was sleeping Potter, do you know what that means?”
“I have a clue yeah- why are you sleeping so early though?”
“Eleven thirty at night is not early, but I’m meeting someone for breakfast tomorrow- I wanted to be well rested”
“Ohhh you’re meeting someone, is it a boyfriend?” you rolled your eyes
“I don’t think he’d describe us that way” He really wouldn’t, not even close
“Do you wish he would?” the anxiety at the pit of your stomach quickening your heartbeat.
“Goodnight James” you mumbled, eyes wide open now, you could feel the blood pumping as you lifted to rest on your elbows.
He didn’t hesitate, seemingly understanding “Goodnight love”
You hung up.
-
You guessed you shouldn’t be surprised. You had sat at the small coffee place for an hour and a half yet— not a trace of him.
You threaded your arms into your coat, grabbing your purse quickly. You felt as if you were running away from embarrassment itself as you crossed the street hurriedly. You caught the sight of the bright red of a pay phone from the corner of your eye, not far from where you stood.
You felt stupid, you decided, as you pulled out the little phone book that you kept in your bag. You had written James’s number in it that morning, you didn’t know why. Stupid stupid stupid.
You sorted through the contents of your purse looking for change to put into the damn box, marking the number soon after.
The phone rang. Rang. Rang.
Someone picked up
“Oi-“ didn’t sound like James
“Is James Potter there?”
“Ohhh is this who I think it is?” the voice snickered
“Who’s this?”
“Sirius- James’s more handsome friend,” Sirius said matter-o-factly, you rolled your eyes
“Is James there? You know what-” You looked around, suddenly too aware that he could be just around the corner.
You didn’t wanna see him.
“nevermind- I’ll call back later”
“Hello?” a familiar voice broke through
“James?” you bit your lip, relief flooding through you. you didn’t know why you felt this way
“Yeah, doll- what’s up? I thought you were supposed to be out with your not boyfriend”
“Yeah… I guess he had better things to do this morning” he made a noise of indignation, you felt so stupid “probably with another not girlfriend if we’re honest”
“oh love I’m sorry-“
“no no, it’s fine really… I really… need to get it through my skull that he’s not particularly interested… it’s not the first time- sorry I called”
“Why would you be sorry?”
“I just didn’t know what else to do”
“that’s what friends are for you know… and we are”
“Thanks, Potter”
“You really won’t let that go huh”
“Nope,” you said, popping the ‘p’ “Sorry Potter” James laughed, his snickers pulled at the corners of your lips
“Are you spending the rest of the day at home then?”
“Probably— but I’ll call you in a bit yeah? I’d rather leave now, I didn’t think it through before I called” You covered your face with your hand as a group of people passed by. “Im still in the middle of the street”
“How are you calling then?” He sounded genuinely confused
“a pay phone?”
“o-oh… right, call me back when you get home then… or I’ll spam call you again”
“alright alright-“ you both laughed, light and airy. breathless “Thank you, James”
You hung up the call, still gripping the handle of the phone with white knuckles as you exhaled.
You needed to get out of there.
You could feel your heartbeat in your ears as you ran down to the tube’s station, you could feel the adrenaline of excitement in your veins as you passed the various stops towards your flat.
“Hey,” You said, catching your breath as you entered, your roommate mumbled a vague hello from her desk as she hunched over her architecture assignment.
“By the way the phone’s been ringing off it’s bloody base for a while now- I dont know what sort of call center you got going on in there,” she said, looking up from her sketchbook.
You laughed as you took your coat and scarf off.
The phone rang again
“I’m serious if you’re running some sort of telephone scam I want a cut-”
“I’ll let you know if it pans out” you said with a laugh, crossing the distance between the door and your room. You closed the door quickly behind you, launching yourself to grab the phone
“I thought I was going to call you Potter, my roommate thinks I’m running a telephone scam”
“Who’s Potter?” He said. It wasn’t James, obviously, his voice starkly different. A spark missing in it.
“Oh-”
“You sound like you were expecting someone else?”
“N-no it's no one- why are you calling?”
“Why aren’t you here? I just got here” he said, almost in indignation. you glanced at the clock
“It’s been two bloody hours, I went home—”
“Oh-”
“Yeah… oh”
“I’m sorry sweets, I had things to take care of… I’m sure you can understand that come on”
“And you just thought I’d wait?”
“I thought maybe you’d cut me some slack- you should come… I don’t know maybe I misread you”
You swallowed thickly.
“I don’t know… I just got back”
“How about I go over there then hm” he just wants to get in my pants… you could practically hear your own thoughts… your ears rang
“My roommate’s home-”
“And?”
You sighed, you felt so stupid.
“Come on- I'm sure she won’t mind”
“I can ask her…”
“Wicked, I’m on my way yeah?” He hung up before you could refute.
You groaned into your hands, you didn’t know what you wanted anymore. You wondered if you ever did.
You didn’t think you wanted him anymore… you thought of James briefly.
You popped your head out your door
“Would you mind it if someone came over…”
“As long as it’s not that poor excuse of a man then sure I don’t mind-” She said looking over her shoulder casually. “It’s the rat, isn't it? god you never learn”
“He stood me up today Char- I don't know what to do anymore…” you screamed into your hand, you tried swallowing the knot in your throat “He just called asking where I was- I waited for him for over an hour… he basically invited himself over”
“Is that who’s been blowing up your phone the past week?”
“No… that's…” you looked away, “no one,” you needed to call James back
“Why so cagey” she wiggled her eyebrows, “Is it another suitor? Do I know him? Have you guys gone out yet? Why is he calling you every day?”
“Jesus slow down Charlotte- god…” you sighed, leaning against the door frame “It’s just a friend”
She narrowed her eyes, staring at your face
“Good god- you like this friend”
“Charlotte no! I just met him,”
“And?”
“We haven’t even met… properly”
“But you’ve spent hours on the phone the past couple of days it's him right? you’re paying the difference in the phone bill by the way” she said, you rolled your eyes with a nod
“Maybe- but it doesn’t mean anything okay? It can’t, we are just… becoming friends”
As Charlotte smirked, ready to tease you further there was a knock at the door— she groaned
“I can’t believe you’re letting that disgusting pile of shit in here- Again”
You agreed with her. You did. You couldn’t believe the situation, not how you bent over so easily nor his audacity. You didn’t say anything, you couldn't bear to meet her eyes as you went to answer with a huff.
“Hey, sweets-” You barely opened the door before he pushed his way through. “Ah- Lottie how are you?”
“Detrimental now that you’re here, how about you go terrorize some bar instead of terrorizing my home and my roommate hm?” She bit
He just smirked
“We both know you’re the only one day drinking here- besides I don't hear y/n complaining.”
You knew Charlotte expected you to refute. You stared out the window, you could feel his hand wrap around yours and your roommate sigh.
You were slowly dragged to your room.
You could hear the TV turn on soon after your door closed. Charlotte turned the volume up to the max again. But you knew this time, there was no humor behind it.
Joshua was not a peculiar man. He was quite bland, a common brand of man you avoided your whole life, too cocky and full of himself, too sure that you along with everyone else wanted him, too much money and not enough responsibilities. He was despicable for all intents and purposes. Never committed, never made good on his word, and never answered the phone unless it served him. But somehow… you found yourself in his web, like a mouse trapped in a glue trap.
You thought of James again, briefly, fleeting, as Josh pressed his lips against yours. You wondered if James was waiting for your call if he even cared if you called back…
The phone rang. Loudly, annoyingly. A saving grace.
You rushed to answer it, James’s voice coming through the other end
“Did you forget to call back or what?” You sighed in relief, a smile instinctively spreading across your lips.
“Hey-” you sat on your bed, “something like that…” you turned to Josh, as he stared at you dumbly. This is going to be a while- you mouthed.
He left with a huff.
tags ; @ilovejamespottersomuch @ravisinghs-wife @hidontmindtheintrovert @stella-thestars @caspiankingofnarnia @lovelyteenagebeard @starkluvrr @hisparentsgallerryy @leilani13gc @katsusayhi @auroresce @lovemiss-vale @alessiaparigim @unconventional-lawnchair @moonydoodlez @eissaaaa @ailoda
permanent tag ; @laufeysvalentine @heyyyloverr
#harry potter#the marauders era#harry potter fanfiction#marauders#the marauders#marauders era#james potter fic#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfic#james potter fanfiction#james potter x y/n#james fleamont potter#james potter x you#james potter series#james f potter#prongs x reader
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Thanos / Player 230 Headcanons
Paring: Thanos / Player 230 x fem!reader
Warnings: Mentions of death/dying and gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, although this is probably buns (my first time writing something like this, I'm sorry, people😔🙏)
જ⁀➴ In his mind, you were this little lamb who needed his protection. Even if you proved yourself to be capable of surviving on your own, Thanos was set on dragging you with him, insisting that it'd be better if you would just stick with his group (much to your and also Nam-gyus annoyance). And, considering he was ready to sacrifice other peoples lives for this prize money, you were scared to refuse him.
જ⁀➴ At some point, you found it endearing how much he seemed to care for you. His cheesy raps about you, his pet names - 'baby', 'princess', 'sweetheart' - the way he was actually putting in the effort to get you through the games, ready to sacrifice a 'friend' (poor Gyeong-su).. you couldn't help but relish the affection he was showing you.
જ⁀➴ It was nice feeling something other than fear and dread, so you couldn't help but entertain Thanos' feelings. Perhaps you weren't just entertaining them? It was hard to ignore the growing connection between you two. Especially when he seemed to open up more and more, especially after lights out.
જ⁀➴ When the drugs wore off, Thanos was actually nice to talk to. At night, he'd come and sit on your bed, comforting you if you were scared (which you very obviously were). Draping an arm around your shoulders, he'd listen to every worry, thought and wish you have and would just stay quiet for those moments (which was very rare and made you appreciate these moments even more).
જ⁀➴ For some reason, you two understand each other. Sure, when high, Thanos was insufferable, loud and annoying and would do every stupid thing imaginable just to impress you. He'd play risky during the games, just to never shut up about how he survived it and how 'he would never die and leave you alone'. After that, the moments where he seemed to be vulnerable meant that much more to you.
જ⁀➴ Thanos' confidence is unwavering. He'd be relentless and would chase after you, regardless if you wanted it or not. In his opinion, you two were the most perfect match and he'd do anything to be able to call you his. Your beauty, your determination and the way you carried yourself simply mesmerized him.
જ⁀➴ After every game you two survived, he'd pull you close to him, tightly wrapping his arms around you and hug you until you couldn't properly breath anymore. "I'm so happy you made it out alive, princess. God, I couldn't imagine what I would do without you in here!"
જ⁀➴ Even with you there with him, Thanos needs that prize money. Would he sacrifice you for it? Never in a million years. Does he still pressure you into voting to continue? Yes, absolutely.
"Come on, baby! Just one more game, I promise." He snakes his arms around your waist, leaning down while talking, "you know I'll protect you. And with the money, we can build a new, happy lives together. What do you say?"
જ⁀➴ Seeing you scared expression while loud gunshots filled the room during the mingle game does something to him, though. Thanos' eyes bore into yours, making you look away quickly. He needs that money, he knows you do, too. But seeing you so distraught might actually make hin change his mind about wanting to continue. After all, he's completely head over heels for you and he'd do everything not to lose you.
#squid game#thanos#squid games#squid game season 2#thanos x reader#player 230#player 230 x reader#squid game x reader#squid games x reader#t.o.p#squid game fanfic
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omg i love ur account soo bad, i would rlly like to read about Spencer being jealous of Derek, for the reader to comfort him and try to help with his insecurities, lowk sad ik but pleaseee 🙇🏻♀️
Spencer sighed as he watched Derek from afar, talking to a group of women. Each of the girls seemed to be entranced with what the man in front of them was talking about, one of them playing with her hair while the other one kept biting her lip which turned into a not so subtle smirk over time.
Spencer hadn’t had the best luck with women, he had a few take interest in him over time, but it never grew into something serious. He blamed himself for not being the archetype of a man girls would usually want from what he saw and no matter how hard he would try to be more appealing, it just wasn’t him and he wouldn’t be able to keep up the facade for too long.
“What’s on your mind, boy wonder?”
Spencer blinked his eyes as you walked over to him and brought him out of his thoughts. Spencer wondered if he should tell you what’s on his mind or would it be something he would eventually get over after some time. It was hard to hide anything from you though, the sparkle in your eyes made Spencer crack and he’d always tell you whatever it was he was thinking of, you had never judged him for it as well, so he had his answer.
“Y/N, be honest, is there anything about me that’s… unattractive?”
“What do you mean? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.”
“Really?”
You nodded as you took a seat next to Spencer, your hand reaching out and thumb running across the back of his hand. Spencer wasn’t one for physical touch, but whenever you showed it it put him at ease.
“Where is all of this coming from?”
“I look at Morgan at times, the way he talks to women, how he presents himself, the way he is basically and I don’t know I just… wish I could be that way.”
“I’ve always liked the way that you are. Men similar to Derek put me off at first, it makes me feel like they have other intentions, but when we first met only minutes in and you were talking about the differences between plant and human cells and I thought that it was really fascinating.”
Spencer chuckled as he remembered the day you both had met. He was scared that he had messed up his first interaction with you and that you would stay clear of him whenever you would come across in the bullpen, but you did the exact opposite. You’d always take time out of your day to go talk to Spencer, even if it was the most random subject someone could think of, but you never regretted it and kept coming back for more.
“There are people out there that adore people like you Spencer and I’m proud to say that I’m one of them. Plus, I think you’re cuter than Derek.”
Pressing a kiss to Spencer’s cheek, his eyes went wide as you waved goodbye and he watched you return to your desk, a slight bounce in your step as you strode across the room.
Spencer chuckled as his eyes met the floor, somehow your words set him at ease during times he needed it the most. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve someone like you in his life, but whatever it was he was sure he’d do it a thousand times again to have even one more conversation like this.
You can find my masterlist here!
Let me know your thoughts in the comments and like & reblog to support <3
#spencer reid#spencer reid au#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x you#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid oneshot#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid x gender neutral reader#spencer reid fluff
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I came home from work, exhausted but happy with what I had accomplished. I locked the door and went towards the kitchen to start fixing myself a 'welcome home' drink and see what I had available to prepare supper.
However, I found myself going to my bedroom instead. I was puzzled for a moment, but as I started to undress, I had a sense that a 'welcome home' drink would be even better if I changed out of my work clothes. I figured that loose fitting pants and a big shirt would be just perfect!
However, as my mind idled to a million and one thoughts, I found myself putting on one of my prettiest sets of lingerie that was completed with a matching pair of high heels. Again, I was more than a little puzzled but as I walked back down stairs, I couldn't deny that I felt incredibly comfortable and in the end, that was my goal so I didn't bother too much about it.
After all, dressing up made me feel extra sexy and a lot more beautiful, which was always a good stroke on my ego. The though even pushed me to go into the bathroom so I could touch up my makeup! No sense in only dressing sexy, right? Might as well go all in.
Having made myself as beautiful as I could, I felt this wave of contentment wash over me as I made my way back towards the kitchen. I was beautiful... I was sexy... I was comfortable in my own home after a long day. Everything felt perfect and I remembered that all that was left was my stiff drink.
However, instead of going to the kitchen, my feet brought me to the living room. I felt momentarily lost, like I had forgotten something important because I couldn't figure out why I had entered the living room without my drink. After all, sitting comfortably in my lazy chair WAS what I wanted to do, but I needed my drink to relax. Didn't I?
I grabbed the remote control, mostly out of habit I think, and turned on my television. As I did, I suddenly remembered why I had entered the living room. It was a bit out of order, but turning on the relaxing musing stream always took a while to load thanks to my slow internet network so it made sense to load it up while I went to fix my drink.
I went through the motions of clicking the correct series of icons and apps and put down the remote, intending to finally get my drink.
However, instead of walking to the hallway, my feet betrayed me yet again and brought me to the lazy chair. I couldn't help but frown as I sat down, completely at a lost as to why I hadn't gone to the kitchen.
I stayed that way, sitting comfortably perplexed as I wondered why I couldn't find the will to stand up again.
That is... Until the screen and speakers finally came alive.
I expect the usual classical music to erupt from my sound system, but instead, echoing tones filled my living room as my television came alive with soft captivating colors. Instantly, I felt myself get drawn to look at the familiar screen. The more the sounds echoed, the more it made me want to watch and the more I watched the more my skull seemed to tingle with delight as wave after wave of deep relaxation washed over my thoughts.
And as they did, they revealed foggy memories I remembered to forget.
Memories of being hypnotized...
Memories of surrender and pleasure...
Memories of service and obedience...
Memories of the man that also lived with me...
Memories of watching this screen every evening after work...
Memories of the girl I become once the screen is done with me...
They all come in gentle waves that excite me more and more as I sink deeper and deeper into trance.
Soon, I would re-awaken... Ready to enjoy bliss...
Ready to obey...
However, that would only come after my mind has been thoroughly put to sleep by the captivating colors and inviting tones.
So for now, as I wished to do from the moment I left work, all I need to do is relax and let my mind drift away...
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there's a new neighbor in town . | ( female reader ) wc 1.5k + ( masterlist ) II next ▷ ↺
YOU WERE USED TO ALWAYS PLAYING the perfect, prim little girl with a spoiled attitude and a fake smile. your dad’s a ceo, and that means you’re expected to always look put together, even if it means dealing with things you absolutely don’t care about.
like delivering a tray of homemade cookies to the new neighbor.
it’s not that you care about the new neighbor. it’s not even that you really care about your dad’s request. you don’t. you’re doing it for the sole purpose of proving to your parents that you've matured now, and are able to fulfill their requests. so, cookie tray in hand, you march over to the sturniolo’s doorstep, making sure to flash the biggest, fakest smile you can muster.
you knock on the door, adjusting your hair one last time. when the door swings open, you are greeted by the sight of him.
chris sturniolo. pretty tall, with a smirk that says he knows exactly what you're thinking. his light blue eyes take in your presence, but he doesn’t look all that impressed, like he’s already used to people acting like this around him.
"hi, sir! welcome to the neighborhood!" you say, your tone dripping with sweetness, but the fake smile you wear says otherwise.
he raises an eyebrow at you, his lips curving into that cocky smirk again. he's probably laughing at you in his head, but you don’t care.
"sir?" he says, his voice low, amused. "really?"
you blink, the fake smile wavering for a moment as you glance up at him. "well … i mean, you look older than me," you say, trying to save face. you can’t tell if he’s a few years older or just the same age, but it doesn’t matter. you just want to get this over with.
chris chuckles softly, leaning against the doorframe.
you roll your eyes internally, irritated but trying not to show it. "i brought cookies," you say, holding up the tray with exaggerated grace. "just, you know, to make you feel welcomed."
"how thoughtful," chris replies, his voice laced with a hint of sarcasm. "why don’t you come inside and make yourself comfortable, doll?"
your heart skips a beat at the nickname, but you keep your cool. “thanks, but no thanks. i've got things to do.” you say, ready to leave. but the way his eyes seem to twinkle with mischief makes you hesitate for a second longer.
“c'mon, it's the least i can do, y'know, returning the favor and all.” he continued, tilting his head softly. “just, come inside and get a drink.”
you sighed, handing him the tray of cookies as you stepped inside carefully. “oh, well, thanks.” you muttered, silently cursing at yourself for taking on your parents' wish in the first place.
“don't mind the mess, sweetheart. had a, uhh, guest over.” his voice mused from behind, closing the door and walking to place the tray on the countertop.
guest, my ass. you could smell the faint lingering women's perfume as you looked around the spacious living area, marble floors and high walls. nothing out of the ordinary.
you glanced around, seeing a pair of black panties tucked underneath the couch, eyebrows furrowing softly as you turned back to look at him. chris appeared to be rummaging through the kitchen cabinets in search for something, probably glasses. “no maids yet?” you inquired.
chris turned at the sound of your voice, a smirk already playing on his lips before he even registered what you were asking. he leaned casually against the counter, a glass dangling from his fingers, his relaxed demeanor as infuriating as ever.
“nope,” he replied smoothly, his voice carrying that teasing edge you’d come to associate with him. “why? you offering to help out?”
your eyebrows raised at his audacity, lips twitching into a sharp smile. “not a chance,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “just seems like a guy would’ve hired someone by now. you know, to deal with… things lying around.”
you tilted your head ever so slightly toward the couch, your tone dripping with fake politeness.
his gaze followed yours, his smirk widening when he spotted the black panties half-hidden under the couch. he didn’t even flinch, his confidence unshakable. “ah,” he said, dragging out the syllable like he was amused. “didn’t think you’d be so interested in my... décor.”
“interested?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “hardly. just don’t want to sit down and find someone’s—”
“relax, doll,” chris interrupted, stepping closer, two glasses of lemonade in his hands. “you’re the only one i’d ever let touch that couch.” your breath hitched at the sudden shift in his tone, his words smooth and low, laced with something that sent a shiver down your spine.
"here you go," he muttered casually, handing you the drink with an ease that seemed second nature, his fingers brushing yours for the briefest moment. the contact was fleeting, but enough to make you glance up at him, studying his unreadable expression as he took a sip of his own drink.
chris’s gaze wandered across the room, his sharp eyes flicking over the spacious mansion like he was inspecting it for the first time. the pristine white walls, the expensive art pieces, the sleek, modern furniture, it all screamed wealth, power, and a life that didn’t need anyone else.
“nice place,” you said after a beat, your voice light, trying to break the heavy silence that had settled between you. he huffed out a small laugh, low and almost cynical. “you think?” he asked, not looking at you, his tone casual.
“most people would kill for a house like this,” you said, gesturing around with your glass. “yeah,” he said, finally turning to meet your eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips. “but it doesn’t feel like home, does it?”
you paused, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, the vulnerability that lingered beneath the surface of his cocky exterior. “no maids, no warmth, and apparently no decorum,” you quipped, nodding toward the couch.
his smirk deepened, the momentary crack in his façade gone as quickly as it appeared. “what can i say? i keep it real.”
“real messy,” you shot back, taking a sip of your drink. “messy’s not always a bad thing,” he said, leaning against the counter, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart skip.
you didn’t know whether to roll your eyes or blush under his gaze. instead, you took another sip of your drink, your pulse quickening as his smirk widened, like he knew exactly the effect he had on you.
"anyways," he muttered, his voice casual as he took another sip of his drink, "’m gonna hire some help soon. just haven’t had the time, yet."
your brows raised at his nonchalant tone. “oh, right,” you teased, setting your glass down on the counter. “must be exhausting having all this… space to yourself. can’t imagine how you cope.”
he smirked, leaning a hip against the counter as his eyes lazily trailed over you. “you’d be surprised,” he replied, his voice low, laced with a subtle challenge. “but you’re welcome to stick around if you’re so concerned. lend a hand.”
“concerned?” you scoffed, crossing your arms. “i’m not concerned. just trying to figure out how someone with all this doesn’t even have the basics figured out.”
he chuckled, the sound deep and warm, as though he found your attitude amusing. “basics aren’t my style,” he said, his smirk widening. “i like to keep thing spontaneous.”
“right,” you deadpanned, though the way his gaze lingered on you made it hard to keep your composure. “because leaving underwear under the couch screams ‘spontaneous.’”
he tilted his head softly. “depends on whose it is.” you rolled your eyes, but the heat rising to your cheeks betrayed your cool demeanor. “you’re impossible.”
“nah,” he said, setting his glass down beside yours and stepping just a little closer, his presence overwhelming in the best and worst ways. “i’m just honest.”
"how old were you, again, doll?" chris asked, his tone as casual as if he were asking about the weather.
"nineteen," you replied, watching his reaction closely. "ah," he muttered, nodding softly, his gaze briefly flitting to his watch. "’m twenty-one."
he shifted his weight, scanning the room before looking back at his watch again, his expression suddenly changing. “shit, ’m sorry. gonna have to finish this great conversation another time, got a meeting right now.”
“yeah, no worries. thanks…” you muttered, forcing politeness into your tone even though irritation simmered beneath it.
“don’t mention it,” he mumbled carelessly, not sparing you a second glance as he quickly moved to the counter, placing his glass down with a clink before heading toward the stairs.
"don’t forget to close the door on your way out," he called over his shoulder, disappearing upstairs without so much as a backward glance.
you stood there for a moment, staring at the now-empty staircase, your fake smile dropping as annoyance bubbled to the surface. grabbing your things, you made your way to the door, letting it click shut with more force than necessary.
"what an ass," you muttered under your breath as you walked away, already plotting what to do the next time you saw him.
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Cardio
Personal trainer!Sukuna x Fem Reader
WC: 1.9k
Content: MDNI. Smut. Vaginal Sex. Oral Sex (Fem Receiving). Fingering. Age Gap (Sukuna mid 40s, reader mid 20s). All Porn, No Plot. Modern AU.
A/N: Hi! I’m trying to get back into writing and attempting to learn to write in second person. This is my first time writing an x reader fic so i apologize for any errors. It’s a short one-shot that’s basically all smut and just me trying my hand at something new. I may write a follow up to this fic if anyone enjoys it but mainly wanted to put it out there is all :)
Sweat beads pool on your forehead, and your breath grows ragged as you raise yourself back up following your final set of squats. A pair of large hands reach over, grabbing the weights out of yours and lift them away with ease.
“Not bad for a rookie,” a deep voice rumbles just inches from your ear, sending a chill down your spine. “You’re getting better.”
Ryomen Sukuna. A local boxer who’s apparently famous in the underground scene. You had never seen him fight or even knew much about the sport for that matter, but from what you’ve heard, the man was an unstoppable force.
A couple of months prior, you had been complaining to your friend Megumi about wanting to find a personal trainer to help you ease back into fitness, but every option you explored was beyond what you could afford. His father had overheard the conversation and suggested one of his friends who did training on the side for some extra cash. Said he usually worked with up-and-coming fighters, so someone like you would be easy work for him.
Sure enough, whenever you had first texted Sukuna, he thought it was a joke. It’s not that he wouldn’t be able to train you, but he was confused why you’d even come to someone like him for help. He agreed and invited you over to his home gym, and ever since, you’ve met with him multiple times a week to train. It was an unusual situation for him, but you assumed he chalked it up to easy money.
“It’s because I have a good teacher,” you smile up at him.
He rolls his eyes before placing a hand on your lower back to scoot you out of his way, letting it linger for just a second too long. “Whatever, brat.”
Heat immediately pools in your lower abdomen, and your mouth grows dry. He always does this. Touches that last a little too long or drift a little too close to places his hands shouldn’t be. Occasionally throwing out questionable comments. It’s not that you didn’t want it; you wanted him so bad it made you ache. Watching the way he towered over you, his broad, tattooed shoulders glistening with sweat as he instructed your every move. You yearned for his touch so desperately. However, he never went beyond those little touches or quips, but God, you wish he finally would.
“However, your squats still aren’t deep enough,” Sukuna remarked as he turned back to face you. He leaned down just a bit, his signature smirk plastered across his face. “You need to spread your legs wider.”
His eyes carried a look in them, almost like he was daring you to be the one to blur the lines between what was appropriate or not. You had wanted to for a while now, but the bravery needed had not yet taken root.
“I’ll be sure to spread them wider for you next time.”
You instantly cringe at the words you let slip. Heat rises to your cheeks as you immediately divert your eyes to the floor.
“Oh?”
“I— I meant I’ll make sure my squats are deeper next time,” you stammer as you back up. You lean down, quickly snatching up your keys and water bottle from where they rested on the floor.
“Come on, don’t get all shy on me now.” He trails behind you, veering off towards the wall. His hand hovers over the panel to open the garage doors for you as his mouth starts twisting into a wide grin. “If you want something, all you have to do is ask.”
“I—“ The words you want to say die on your tongue before you can even utter them.
He stares expectantly in return, waiting for you to finish. Foot tapping against the ground for a moment before releasing an impatient sigh and brushing his fingers against the button that would allow your exit.
“Wait,” you step towards him and gently tug the wrist that hangs at his side. His eyebrow arches up. You definitely had his attention now. “Well— I was wondering if maybe you would want— ”
Without warning, his hands are on your waist and pulling you in. You collide with his chest, and before you can even think, his fingers are forcing your chin up. His lips slam into yours. There’s nothing gentle about the way he’s kissing you. It’s hungry and desperate. He wants you just as bad as you want him. His tongue eagerly slides into your mouth and massages against yours. You can feel yourself melting under his touch as you snake your arms around his neck. Sukuna grips underneath your ass and lifts you from the ground, your legs locking around him. The kiss never breaking as he carries you and sets you down on the ledge of a bench.
He pulls back, his lips slippery with your salvia, and sinks to his knees in front of you. His fingers greedily slip into the waistband of your shorts, sliding them down your legs in one smooth movement as he traces his tongue along his top lip. Tossing them somewhere behind him, he leans in and pulls your legs over his shoulders. A thumb presses against the damp patch on the cloth covering your cunt. The smallest whimper falls from your lips at the sudden pressure.
“Is this what you wanted?”
You can’t muster up much more than a weak nod as he begins to diligently stroke your clit through the cotton.
“Use your words, brat,” he commands, retracting his hand away from the wet mess between your legs.
You look down at him, bottom lip slightly protruding at the loss of contact. “Yes, Sukuna. Please.”
That was all he needed. He sinks his face between your thighs, tongue lapping at your clit through the thong. Sukuna deeply inhales as if he’s breathing you in, only to follow it with a guttural groan. A finger slips underneath the fabric and inside you. It curls, immediately finding that sweet spot, and rips a breathy moan from your throat. His lapping turns to sucking and the fabric quickly becomes soaked all the way through.
Your hands begin to explore his blush colored hair, intertwining with the strands. You gently tug on them before arching your back. Your hips buck in response to the stimulus, aching for him to give you more.
He grunts in response before briefly pulling back. Using his free hand, he yanks at your underwear in one strong motion causing them to rip. Before you can even protest, the remnants are hitting the floor and his tongue finds its way to your bare clit. A second finger joins the first inside of you, now picking up a faster pace.
“Oh my god,” your mumbles are incoherent as you yank on his hair harder.
He releases his tongue from your clit, fingers still going at a steady pace inside of you. “Ryomen is just fine. Sukuna if you don’t want to get too personal.”
You looked down at him to be met with that shit eating grin of his. A thick string of salvia trailing between his bottom lip and your clit.
Arrogant bastard.
You dig your heel into his back in response, evoking a soft chuckle from him before he rejoins his tongue to you.
Between his swollen lips sucking on you and his fingers still hitting that sweet spot, it wasn’t long until a heat starts coiling in your lower abdomen. Your heart begins to pick up and your moans grow louder as you approach your peak and in an instant, Sukuna is retracting his fingers and pulling away from you.
An incredulous look flashes across your face as you glance down. “Sukuna.”
“What?” he inquires, his voice carrying a mocking tone.
Was he really fucking teasing you?
Before you can even react, you’re being hoisted to your feet and spun around. Your eyes are met with a mirror that completely covers one of the walls in his gym.
Hands wrap around your waist and you’re being pulled into him as his hard length makes itself known against you. Fingers, still viscid from your juices, slide up to your lips and part them. He hums in amusement as he slips them into your mouth while his other hand grips your chin and forces you to look ahead to watch your own reflection as you begin to lap the slick from Sukuna’s fingers.
He pulls his fingers from your lips, and brings his mouth down to your ear, his breath hot as it ricochets off of you. “I want you to watch who’s making you feel this good.”
His sweatpants drop to the floor and his hard cock briefly rubs against your skin before his hand splays against your lower back, forcing you to bend over. He wastes no time lining his tip up with your entrance.
“You’re fucking soaked.” is the last thing you hear as he slides his length into you in a quick, fluid movement. He’s massive. You gasp at the sudden stretch of your walls trying to accommodate him before letting out a visceral moan. The pain quickly melting into pure ecstasy.
His strokes start slow and deliberate. He pulls himself out almost entirely before rutting back into you, wanting you to feel every single inch of him. Massive hands grip into your hips, holding your tender flesh so tight you’ll undoubtedly be bruised for weeks. A hand wreathes it’s way down to your swollen clit, rubbing circles around it as his pace begins to pick up. Your eyes instinctively close for a brief moment before a sharp burning sensation spreads across your scalp. His hand, now entangled in your hair, forcing your attention back to him.
Staring at your reflection, he smiles, flashing his unusually sharp canines. His smile isn’t smug or seductive. The look in his eyes is dark, he looks like he wants to devour you. “Watch.”
He drops his hand from your hair and places it back at your hip, while the other is still stroking your needy clit. His thrusts become faster, deeper, and desperate. Sweat drips down his contorted face as a mixture of grunts, moans, and curses slip from his lips. “You’re taking me so fucking good.”
Your legs start to tremble as that familiar pleasure starts coiling in your lower abdomen. You watch as Sukuna relentlessly buries himself into you and everything starts to slow down. A white light flashes across your vision and you cry out as he pushes you over the edge. Walls pulsating around him, you feel your inner thighs grow viscous.
“Fuck,” is all he offers as his breaths grows labored. He brings his other hand back to your side to steady you as he thrusts into your cunt a couple more times. Sukuna pulls himself out at the last second and paints your lower back with hot, white ribbons.
He steps back, reaching for one of his sweat towels folded over a nearby machine. The sudden loss of contact has you reaching out, searching for something to help steady your wobbly legs.
One arm snakes around your waist to offer you the stability you need, while the other carefully wipes away the cum decorating your skin. “I had thought of something else I wanted to have you do before your session ended, but I don’t think you’ll have enough stamina left.”
You turn to face that smug grin you’ve grown to like a little too much, and glance up into his crimson eyes. “Guess we’ll add it to next week’s session.”
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Was having a semi-serious conversation with some friends, and accidentally found myself quoting RWBY in a way that actually helped the discussion at hand, which got me thinking, there's a good few lines in RWBY that are just generally good things for life, so i decided to write a post about it 'cause fuck it. Some'll have commentary some are self explanitary enough. "I'm not any one thing, I'm somewhat of a lot of things" - this was the one that actually sparked this, was talking about identity with a friend, and found this quote very applicable - you don't always have to neatly fit in a box, you can be somewhat several things at once, if that's what fits for you. "Well that embaressment, that desire to go back and tell yourself not to be so stupid, that just proves you're not the same person you used to be. And you're not done growing yet" "You don't have to look cool all the time"
"Of course you are [a real girl]. You think just because you've got nuts and bots instead of squishy guts makes you any less real than me?" - This is less a general life lesson, but more of a 'just because someone is different to you, doesn't make them/their experiences any less real'. And obviously there's the trans angle on this, not being a 'real girl' is an anxiety many trans girls have struggled with, or is something people throw at us to put us down. But just 'cause we're built a little different than cis girls, doesn't make us any less girls "Pyrrha thought that, if there was even the smallest chance of helping someone, that it was a chance worth taking" "I'd be lying if I said that it didn't hurt, that I didn't think about them everyday since I lost them. That I didn't wish I had spent more time with them. If it had been me instead, I know they would have kept fighting too, no matter how dangerous it was, so that's what I choose to do. To keep moving forwards." - Mostly putting this here 'cause it's always nice to have a talk like this regarding grief/loss, and yeah, i just think this is nice and fairly honestly reflection of how a lotta people feel when they lose someone, coupled with the adivce to keep moving forwards. "I'm not asking you to stop. Just please, get some rest, not just for you, but for the people you care about," - I like this one 'cause a) self care is important bitches! Burning yourself out isn't gonna help whatever you're trying to do and b) hurting yourself like that is also gonna hurt those who care for you, 'cause no one wants to see those they care for suffer. So remember to take a break from time to time. "You think you're being selfless, but you're not. Yeah that chameleon friend of yours got me pretty good, but I'd do it all again if it meant protecting you... and I promise Yang would say the same. You can make your own choices sure, but you don't get to make ours. When your friends fight for you, it's because we want to, so stop pushing us out. That hurts more than anything the bad guys could ever do to us," - Obviously the parts about fighting can be taken a little more metaphorically for everyday life, but I like this quote 'cause yeah, the people who are there for you *want* to be there for you, so deciding that you're a burden on them and hiding away/pushing them away is gonna hurt them because they *want to be there for you* - don't decide something for other people. "My losses, my failures, those, more than anything, are what have shaped me into who I am; showed me how I need to grow. If there's something I'm missing it's not because I've lost it, it's 'cause I haven't found it yet" - I just think this is a beautiful line. We've all wished at moments to undo the mistakes we've made, however those mistakes made us the people we are now. And yeah, I love the idea that something you're missing is not because you lost it, it's because you haven't found it yet. "One small kindness, in one small moment, lead to such a marvelous transformation, just like one act of dishonesty caused an unfortunate change" - Reminder that even small actions can mean a lot to others "What happens if I chose me?" "Then maybe, that girl is enough,"
But yeah, all of this to say I love RWBY, it has so many amazing and emotional moments and yeah, if you haven't given it a watch I would highly reccommend (and if you've heard bad things, i'd maybe give it a watch yourself first, a lotta people like to hate on the show in bad faith). But yeah, love RWBY and love all the wonderful moments and messages within it
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his fuckass loafers im losing it
#snap chats#ill take like ninety personal screenshots once he's available in-game i just ripped this from a skin showcase vid#see i dont totally hate the beard anymore now that its been rendered and i can see it better. id still prefer clean but whatever#he kinda cute all regal an lookin like rudolf from fire emblem he makin me giggle a lil 🥰 ok ill stop idk what came over me#they didnt wanna put him in chanel boots they knew i woulda made a comment .....#anyways. I CANT BELIEVE I GET WANDA AND MAGS SKINS FOR MY BIRTHDAY LIFE IS SO GOOD#my brother is not being subtle in the slightest in saying he'll get me the battlepass despite my protests so. LOL 💀#the past three weeks he be like So What Do You Want For Your Birthday 👁️👄👁️#and then we find out the skins dropping my birthday and he be like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY 👁️👁️👄👁️👁️#LIKE GO AWAY STOP that so diabolical both of them are dropping this week tho .... i thought id have more time but no#marvels trying to kill me. beautiful woman and her cunty father thats so fucked up#i wish i could say this means i should play wanda more but the guilt id feel picking dps when 90% of the time we'd need a tank or support#just gotta bet he fastest hand in the west and have no guilt and pick dps ig ervkLEAJEAKL#anyways. im gonna go back to work FOCUS YOU FUCKER
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the question is who taught lucanis to knit. was it something he already knew how to do or is he picking it up over the course of the game as part of his 'if I manage to cram enough hobbies in there I won't have to sleep again ever. easy' experiment. did he learn it out of a book (as a sometime knitter, a horrifying thought but I wouldn't put it past him). as hilarious as I find the mental image of caterina with knitting needles I do not believe in it, did he pick it up from someone in the household staff growing up the same way he did cooking. is the sweater he wears with his introductory armour his own work (very funny if so it's just so. incredibly neutral toned and sensible.) I understand why he never does it on screen because animating knitting is the devil's own work and bioware were right to dodge right past it no one should wish themselves that kind of pain, but do you think off-screen he's using it the same way davrin does whittling during team meetings and book club nights (for real the grandmas were so right for this: knitting during social group situations is a neurodivergent life hack like you wouldn't believe if doodling isn't your thing/isn't doing it for you). it's that or sharpening his knives and some people seem to get a bit nervous about that so he mostly sticks to the knit one purl one of it all. does he make things for the team. for romanced rook perhaps. boring but useful things like socks and scarves, to be clear. I think mr. 'I made you a cake (cautiously marital intent)' would not mean to impress just make sure your feet weren't cold jogging around the heights of athim killing darkspawn. knitting more socks for harding so she won't get cold walking around everywhere in her fereldan *checks notes written on palm* clogs. some of taash' outfits... you think rook and lucanis are letting them walk around the anderfels like that without at least a token sensible scarf on even tho adaari are built different in terms of body temperature. I say no not in my lighthouse they would team up and mother hen them to shathann levels before they'd let that happen. (the scarf has dragons on it taash thinks it's kind of cool actually.) a bobble hat for manfred not because he really needs it but because he wanted to feel included. assan indignantly tries to steal it and fly away with it so he gets his own scarf to promote peace between the lighthouse little guys and it works. help.
#lucanis sitting there with his scariest coldest most focused eyes and people going 'hey are you... are you alright there?'#and him looking up like 'hm?🥺🧶oh yes I'm just counting'. it's canon in my heart.#he's just like me frfr in a variety of ways that are really funny fhdskja. I paused on knitting a sock to write this out#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#he overtakes my neurons in such a unique way from time to time I don't even write these things The Truth is just channeled through me#*head in my hands* I love all these characters so much. especially him but all of them. imagining what each of them might like to get#like would bellara want something for an experiment and not so much to wear. do the wisps playfully unfurl anything neve leaves around#for inscrutable reasons of their own. does lucanis make a sweater with something rude on it for davrin. like 'asshole' in antivan#'it's our word for 'warden' :)' 'uh-huh' (davrin still wears it all the time as a pure powermove to be clear)#(im crying 'cover them up warden we're going to lavendel. also happy birthday or whatever' as he tosses the sweater#directly into davrin's cleavage)#I spent most of this day quite unhappy. and then i thought about this for a while and now I feel a lot better#maybe there is joy for me in the world after all. I'll leave the possibility open another day
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a couple of people have asked for a carlos POV of in theory and actually. thinking about it. it's pretty funny. imagine being carlos, carlos who gets everything in his life he's ever wanted carlos, carlos who feels he has nothing further to prove to anyone carlos (this is a lie btw), carlos who gets saddled with OSCAR, who barely tolerates him, as an executive assistant.
oscar who shows few emotions. doesn't give a f about seniority. thinks carlos is incredibly arrogant (he's not wrong here but, like recognises like.) oscar who knows carlos can't even do his own expenses without having an emotional support espresso or spending half an hour whining to oscar even though he did it himself years before oscar even joined, etc etc.
and carlos has to. endure it. while oscar blatantly ignores his charm offensive and his attempts at being jovial and his bad bilingual puns and carlos, because everyone usually loves carlos, and he-- he just. he cannot for the life of him figure out why he's also so compelled by this australian dude. doesn't know what to do with himself. just keeps interactions to a transactional minimum and puts up a front like he is soooo curt and uncaring about everything but. the warmth seeps through anyway, a vine that's destined to grow despite his attempts not to let it.
so what, if carlos lies awake in bed with racing thoughts too late at night thinking of revenues and EBITDA and platinum tiers and air miles. so what, if this sometimes bleeds into thoughts regarding his work-life balance or lack thereof, and therefore, oscar's stupid little hair swoop, his frown. his insane excel sheet formulas that even carlos, MBA graduate, takes a second to understand. oscar and his indifference and his scary efficiency and the way he talks a bit too fast when he's tipsy and his ice cold hands.
(at the christmas party with yuki. carlos pretends not to listen but hears every word. why would oscar tell yuki all that, and not him, when he’s tried to ask about oscar's interests before? anyway.)
and then. the christmas gifts happen and carlos thinks he's crossed a line. was the terrarium too far, he wonders. normally people love it when carlos is thoughtful like that. his exes even said so. but no! oscar takes the terrarium, the one carlos made a specific detour for on an airline that he couldn't even get miles on!
and oscar just. stares, and stares at the terrarium. then he gives carlos this...look. and it gets embarrassingly intimate and carlos "really does have to go take his call" even though the client did say it is fine to switch to email because, christmas. yeah. and then he's thinking about it the whole way back to madrid too.
then oscar QUITS on CHRISTMAS DAY (rude) for no explainable reason and carlos is like oh my god is it really ME. how can anybody not like ME ? reddit, AITA???
so carlos mulls on it. carlos wants to atone. just maybe. set things straight. let oscar know that. actually. all feelings aside, he was really an excellent EA and carlos wishes him the best with everything. he maybe sends a text to thank him with those very words. but christmas eve comes and goes, and so does christmas day, and there's no reply at all from oscar. what the hell, carlos thinks. no i can't have him leave and there's so much in my email that i – i didn't even say. he just. needs to let oscar know that he appreciated it.
(he doesn't know what "it" is per se. just that. he feels strongly. so he needs to do something about that.)
soooooo then carlos, who values for family more than anything in the world, spends christmas day just only half paying attention to things going on and thinking jesus, what did i do. and his sisters are like, hermano, please just. get it together and sort this out if you care so much. we'll be fine with mamá and papá and piñón okay there's roast ham for days. and his ma is like: "if you are visiting someone at least pack some dessert. where are your manners". and carlos is like "what". and his mum is like: "did i not teach you anything at all. are you or are you not a sainz". so carlos just takes his tiramisu and his sister's teasing and. he goes. might even try to pull a favour from a client to use a private jet and get there in time.
he flies back to the city in a fit of possible stupidity to try and clarify... his feelings for oscar his professional record and integrity.
and then. oscar is. actually HAPPY he is there.
(carlos knows he's happy, not because oscar's face changes. but because oscar puts his actual plant shears down in order to talk to him. which in oscar-world is a very big deal really. before, oscar always used to look like he wanted to stab carlos with a pen when carlos spoke to him. and if carlos were truly honest with himself, and hindsight being 50/50, well– he'd say that actually, the times oscar looked like he wanted to stab him were actually some of the moments he felt most alive.)
and the rest is... well.
you know how it ends.
#carcar#so. confession: i wasn't actually sure about carlos's POV for this fic at all. tho i knew he was an active participant obviously#and to be honest i went with oscar's POV for efficiency since i was working towards finishing it by the 31st#but this might just be the bones of it.#also i have not ever written carlos's POV before 👀 so this is a first!!#will i write this snippet out in full? idk? maybe not? but. here you go for now for like the 2 or 3 people who were interested#[in theory] fic#i typed this while procrastinating at work and somehow it's now... 900 words
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Insight 4
Smarter universe
A/n: I feel like this one I might edit a bit more so a rerelease might cone idk I don’t really like my writing in this. it’s 1am and I wanted to give you guys another insight as promised. Also thank you to @womenwoso for helping with the logistics of this insight.
Leah hasn’t known what it’s like to not wake up and feel nauseous for the past few days, not since you left, but today it’s worse, today she goes to training and although she hopes you’ll be there in the back of her mind she knows you won’t.
Leah’s slow to get ready, slow to leave and slow to arrive to Sobha Reality training ground, she’s late and her teammates don’t understand why. Leah’s never late, you’re never late.
Leah checks in and trudges her way to the changing room where the rest of the arsenal girls are, slowly Leah pushes the door and walks making a b line for her locker before throwing her bag down and quietly getting ready.
Leah doesn’t miss the way the girls look for you coming in behind her like you usually do, and she definitely doesn’t miss the questioning glances between Steph and Alessia.
“Le where’s Y/n.” Leah shrugs continuing to get ready, her eyes glued to the floor. Steph steps forward “hey mate, where’s Y/n? She didn’t answer the phone to Less or I this morning.” Leah mumbles into her chest “I don’t know.” This only causes more confusion between the pair as Leah continues to put on her training gear.
“What do you mean you don’t know Leah you live together, you’re married to her for godsake” Leah feels her stomach flip “she’s gone-she left.” Alessia steps forward her own stomach dropping, gone, left. Where, why and why didn’t you text them or call it doesn’t make sense. “ She would have said something, why did she leave arsenal.” Leah shakes her head as she feels her emotions start to rise again “not Arsenal, not yet anyway.” Leah pauses tying her shoe “she left me.”
Leah hates that for a slight moment you’re the bad guy and that her friends support her, but it’s all a lie. Steph puts her hand on Leah’s shoulder comforting her “what happened.” Leah shakes her head the tears forming in her eyes as the feeling of getting sick intensifies “I cheated.” She lets out quietly so quietly that Steph is the only one to hear.
Alessia looks confused “what.” As Steph recoils her hand as though she’s just been burned “you did what.” Leah shakes her head “please Steph.” Steph doesn’t take pity on her instead she shouts “you cheated on your wife, on Y/n.”
The rest of the girls all seem to freeze as they turn to look at their Vice captain “you better be taken the piss.” Katie shouts from across the room.” But Leah’s silence is deafening “Leah.” Kim tries but the defender stays silent.
“She won’t answer our texts, our calls, how-is she safe.” Leah doesn’t answer she can’t answer she doesn’t know where you are, she doesn’t know you’re wrapped up in her bed in her childhood home holding on to her jumper as you sob.
“I don’t know….we…she talked and then she left.” Leah lets out, “who was it Leah.” Leah’s head turns to Lia and the knot in her stomach tightens “I-Lia.” Lia already knows, she wish she didn’t but she does “Leah.” Leah shakes her head “I didn’t-please- it-I don’t know it just-we just…please.” Lia feels sick and the room spins slightly at the thought that she had been introduced to HER months ago when Leah and her met up for coffee and SHE came bouncing over.
Steph has her phone out as she tries you again and again Alessia’s frozen “but what about everything-you guys were supposed to be having a family.” They don’t know Leah thinks of course they don’t know she didn’t know “we are.” The room seems to drop like a led balloon.
Leah’s up against a wall next Katie holding her shirt in her fists “please tell me your wife…who wants nothing more than a family with you…who we have all seen cry day in and day out over not being able to have a baby with you isn’t pregnant because if she is so help me god Leah.”
Again Leah’s silence is all it takes to confirm the team’s worst fears. “I don’t know who else to call.” Steph lets out painfully “everyone else is in this room” Leah gulps, your gone, you’re not answering your phone and Steph right everyone you love…you think of as your friends, family are in this room and once again the knot gets bigger.
Katie drops Leah back to her feet “Kim.” Kim looks at the Irish girl “you’re suspended”. Kim turns to Leah as the vice captain tries to protest “I don’t want to see you near this place until I say otherwise.” Leah nods packing up and heading out the door.
“Leah.”
Lia chases after her stopping just at the car park “please tell me that it’s not HER.” Leah shakes her head “I…” Leah’s interrupted by a car honking HER car as SHE pulls up beside the duo “Hey baby ready.” Leah turns and looks to Lia “I-i can explain.” Lia shakes her head “don’t bother, you’ve made your bed and clearly you still enjoy sleeping in it.”
#woso#mysunshinetemptress#mysunshinetemptressasks#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso one shot#awfc#leah williamson#leah williamson x y/n#leah williamson imagine#woso asks#woso writers#woso couple#woso couples#woso community#woso soccer#woso x reader#woso appreciation#woso blurbs#leah williamson x you#leah williamson x reader#smarter
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FRESHMEN 101 FOR ASPIRING UPPERCLASSMEN
today’s lesson: proper communication and translation 🗣️
azul: greetings! i am your professor, azul ashengrotto! welcome to "freshmen 101 for aspiring upperclassmen" at night raven college! the only class that will you teach how to effectively handle those little brats— I MEAN loveable new faces you see around your dorm!
riddle: today, we will focus on how to properly communicate with your first-years. some of the things they say may be confusing and/or contradictory, so it's important to know how to translate their sentences into coherent language you understand.
vil: we have set up a variety of examples with our fellow co-professors and fellow seniors to guide you along this journey.
^
epel: vil, do you think i’d look better with a tattoo?
vil: translation: i am entering my rebellious phase and also want to ruin my delicate skin with a glorified paint job that i will most definitely regret in the future and will make me wish i had listened to my housewarden more. also, i have no hope of a happy future and will live out my days as a gangster on the streets.
epel: …what?
^
ortho: big brother, can you help me with a cosmetics alteration to my gear?
idia: big brother, i want to be the sparkliest, prettiest, most drop-dead gorgeous, most attractive, most charming, 5-star-reviewed, no notes, darling, glamorous, talented, brilliant, incredible, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, stunning, bewitching, adorbs, graceful, beguiling, smashing, knock-out, irresistible person in the classroom tomorrow.
ortho: yay~! 😀
^
deuce: sorry i was out past curfew, trey… i’m a little tired, so is it okay if i skip brushing my teeth tonight?
trey: translation: i have a secret boyfriend that i don’t want you to know about because he coerces me to engage in illegal underground boxing rings and convinces me that brushing my teeth is for losers. please get involved and maybe call the police and also never let me out of the dorm again until i’ve properly relearned the benefits of proper dental hygiene!
deuce: …huh?
^
sebek: silver, i think… i would like to make some friends with the people in our dorm. could you… mayhaps give me some advice?
silver: translation: i am a strikingly realistic imposter of your actual friend. i do not love nor care for you, and in fact, am very frightened by your presence, so i will gather allies from other places in an elaborate scheme to destroy you, the liege you’ve sworn your life to, your father, and your friend, whom i’ve already killed and whose body i have hidden in the basement. please end me.
sebek: pardon? what— what are you— why are you carrying around a camera— NO! NO NO NO NONONONO SILVER IF I’VE OFFENDED YOU I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE— SILVER PUT THE SWORD DOWN—
^
yuu: everyday, i’m scared that everything i’ve worked so hard to build in this world, all the friends i’ve made… all of it will just— slip through my fingers like sand… kalim? azul? what are your biggest fears?
kalim: translation: wow, things sure have been getting a little upsetti spaghetti around here! let’s throw a huge party in the mostro lounge with food and games and bright lights and elephants and and invite all of our friends to lighten up the atmosphere! the more, the merrier!
azul: translation: and while we’re at it, please don’t forget the mostro lounge’s limited time “part of your world” event, which offers authentic drinks, food, and even little trinkets from all around the world, for 20% off its original price!
yuu: guys pls
^
ace: hey, riddle? i, uh… i need help with smth.
riddle: translation: i have gotten into some very serious trouble and am about to lure you into a death trap that will get us both severely injured in all likelihood, and i am coming to you, specifically, about this, because i know you care deeply for me and couldn’t say no if you honestly thought my life was in danger, and i am going to exploit it for my own ends. what is it, ace?
ace: …ok, u lil bitch i see how it is
^
jack: hey, leona? ruggie? do you… do you love me?
leona:
ruggie:
leona:
ruggie:
ruggie: translation: give me food!
jack: …would it help if i said it first?
leona:
ruggie:
leona:
ruggie:
leona: …no, wait— i think maybe he said “give me sliced pears on a plate”... not sure, tho.
ruggie: that does sound right...
jack: oh my seven.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst first years#deuce spade#sebek zigvolt#ace trappola#jack howl#ortho shroud#epel felmier#twst yuu#riddle rosehearts#azul ashengrotto#vil schoenheit#idia shroud#trey clover#kalim al asim#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#maybe a lil ooc and not very funny but i liked it so who cares lol
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prompt: you intentionally rile him up to get him to be a little rougher with you.
pairing: park jongseong x f!reader
genre: oneshot
warnings: smut [mdni!!], unprotected sex (put a rubber on it!!), degredation, praise, p in v, pet names, provoked mean dom!jay, slight bratty!reader.
disc. lowercase intended. not proofread. @choisanswife this is for you shawty 🫵🏻😼
now it’s not like your sex life with jay wasn’t absolute heaven on earth, but some nights you wish he would be just a little rougher with you. so tonight of all nights, you decided it’d be a good idea to poke and prod at his nerves just to see how far you could take his patience.
“y/n, not now.” he uttered while batting your hand away gently. that only caused you to groan.
“oh, come on, jay. it’s not like i’m asking for much. it’s just.. you took so long getting me to cum that i felt like i was dying.” it was a dramatic statement on your part, but you could tell it was getting under his skin and that’s exactly what you wanted.
his brow darted up as he slowly turned to you, a slight mumble leaving him, “oh really?”
and the next thing you know? you’re bent over the back of the couch with nothing but your panties around your ankles and his cock buried deep inside you. there was nothing but the sound of skin slapping against skin and your pathetic whines of pleasure.
“this is what you wanted, right? to be my little fuck toy? hm?”, he grabbed you by your throat and pulled you up off the back of the couch, hovering his lips by your ear so you could hear every grunt that left him.
you nodded because that was all you could do. he was finally being rough with you and you loved every second of it.
your hand reached behind you to grip onto his waist because you wanted to feel him, wanted to let him now just how well he was doing. he knew that though. if it wasn’t for the way you clenched around him and the whimpers that left you then maybe he’d be a little curious, but he knew.
“f- fuck.. baby, i’m cumming-!” and that was all jay needed to relentlessly pound into you even harder than he was before, tightening his grip on your throat and wrapping a hand around to circle your sensitive bud at the same speed he was thrusting.
“go on, pretty slut, cum for me. make a mess on my cock.”
that was enough to push your over the edge, your body trembling as the coil in your stomach snapped and you came all over his cock just the way he wanted.
he looked at your slumped over figure with a chuckle, pulling out of you right as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple, “let’s get you cleaned up, angel. you were so good for me.”
“i love you.”
“i love you more, darling.”
despite how bratty you could be, he never left you unsatisfied. never once and that was something you absolutely loved about him.
© leehsngs. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, or translate my works.
author’s note. i literally thought of this idea at 4 am due to personal experiences rip. this is also my first time writing something like this so feedback is very much wanted and appreciated! hope you all enjoyed!
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HI I STAYED UP WAY TOO LATE TO READ THIS PART !!!! :))
(also this might be my longest rb so far)
SIX UPON A TIME
"You weren’t sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick." - let's kiss him on the mouth 🫶🏻
"A reason to get up in the morning." - SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH.
"But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus." - No I can't do this
"Maybe that’s the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that he’s safe. " - Nika I'm fucking crying. I wish I was exaggerating but I'm actually fucking crying before 10pm.
"But it seems like you haven’t known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You can’t even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasn’t been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if it’s never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real? " - the woman that you are. Oh. My. God. You are completely unreal this is phenomenal.
"His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place you’ve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t laugh, either." - I have actual tears in my eyes you are so evil
"That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesn’t have time to reach his eyes, though." - Nika I'm fucking sick to my stomach what the fuck is wrong with you
Brief intermission bc I got too into it and read the rest twice before coming back to make notes (I was too immersed)
A crack in the sky you are insane I would FREAK
Where TF does bucky go during the day. As a naturally nosy gal the unknowns in this story make me ITCH I can't wait for everything to be revealed
"Why won’t you look at me? " - this is so hurtful why are you being so mean to me
HOW IS THE DELIVERY MAN EARLY IM LITERALLY IN SHOCK AND WE MOVED ON FROM THIS TOO FAST????????
"You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strange’s cloak draws itself around your shoulders." - hehe we have the cloak 🫶🏻
""I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"" - why did this make ME relieved like I'm stuck in the loop too 😭 I literally have felt anxious for our dear reader like I'm sick and this has soothed my heart the smallest bit (I'm still scared of you)
"You can’t help but wonder when he’s last tried the bed." - Frick you for putting him in the floor what has my baby done to you let him be comfortable 😭😭
"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up." - this made me LAUGH I needed that
CAPS BDAY IM CRACKING UP THATS SUCH A FUN SILLY MOMENT
"He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. You’re suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you don’t like the challenge sparkling in his eyes." - THEY ARE SO IN LOVE MY GOD IM SICK
Why are we waking up to silence I'm gonna throw up Nika
What did the powers do
Alpine can see us that is both cute and scary 😅
"You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isn’t in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you can’t even look at him." - what is wrong with you
"That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and it’s his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse." - how dare you write these 2 paragraphs and also put them so close together????????
"And then it’s you who’s speechless, because the shock on Peter Parker’s face is more than you bargained for." - FULL. BODY. CHILLS. WHAT A MIND YOU HAVE NIKA. I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS.
"Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasn’t allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you." - THE LAST LINE ?????? I'm speechless
"And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab." - ok chapter 7 pls 🫶🏻
I'm kidding you are PERFECT I can't believe I missed out on this for as long as I did?!!!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your incredible brain with me I want to kiss you on the mouth I love you!!!!!!!
time after time [6]
series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
word count: 12.8k
chapter warnings: maybe reacquaint yourselves with the story premise, it's been a hot minute; characters refusing to be honest with themselves and each other; violence against side characters, minor injury descriptions; strange is still annoying
a/n: this is quite possibly the scariest fic update i've ever made. a lot has happened since the last chapter was posted, and i won't bore you with all of it. suffice it to say, i missed sharing this story. thank you for being patient with me.
series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3
six: butterfly effect
Working with Sam and Bucky was different than working with Natasha and Steve had been.
At the Compound, it had felt terrifyingly easy to find your place, to slip into the new role they granted you as if you were always meant to fill it. You’d felt that way before, and it hadn’t turned out quite so well. Maybe that was why you used to dread the end.
Now, however, for the first time in a while, you constantly had to prove yourself in order to not be left back in that dark place they’d found you in, alone and trying to make sense of any of it. And you liked that. The challenge was something you could live with, something you could enjoy more than the ever chilling anxiousness that things were simply too good to be true.
So when Sam called you on for a follow-up mission shortly after the first one, you jumped at the chance.
It didn’t matter that you barely talked about anything but work, even when you were hanging out in your spare time; in fact, you much preferred that to digging up the past. You even learned to find a wicked sort of enjoyment in provoking Bucky’s initial dislike of you to the point of where he would barely speak to you at all unless it was to snap at you.
You weren’t sure what you wanted him to do, but it was fun to watch the time bomb tick.
It wasn’t as easy to get under the new cap’s skin.
"You’re making us sound like we’re partners in a law firm," Sam said, a smile clearly audible in his voice even though his eyes didn’t betray it. Bucky didn’t even dignify you with a clench of his jaw.
"What?" you said, crossing your legs. "Every newspaper in the city calls you 'Wilson and Barnes'. Don’t you ever read the articles about yourselves?"
"Unlike some people, I don’t have all the time in the world," Sam said, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed.
"Pity. The Bulletin called you the 'nation’s new dynamic duo' last week." You looked at Bucky, your eyebrows raised in amusement. "You’ve officially been downgraded to a sidekick, Barnes."
He answered with an empty glare of his own. "And what does that make you?" he said, but not like a question.
"Nothing at all," you still grinned. "Everything is right in the universe."
The reporters had yet to pick up on your addition to the team, which was proof enough that your powers still sufficed to fly under the radar. Combined with the fact that you were actually regularly talking to people again—and people who weren’t your therapist or your customers no less—, things almost felt like they were settling into a new kind of normal. Still somewhat weird, and still a struggle each day, but somewhat hopeful, nevertheless.
You’d almost forgotten what that could feel like.
“Right. You’d prefer people not knowing about your creepy powers.”
"Aww." You tilted your head to the side happily. "You think I’m creepy."
Bucky scoffed into his mug, refusing to look at you like he always did, and then he strolled off again.
In truth, you couldn’t blame him all that much. You’d lived with your powers all your life and still found them unsettling sometimes, particularly when they got away from you and left you trapped in a universe that refused to move.
That was none of his business, though.
Besides, Bucky had taken to moving around so quietly you could never tell he was there until he’d cough and you’d flinch, usually dropping whatever you were holding in your hands. You’d already cracked your phone screen twice.
Not that he’d know, or care if he did. It gave you great satisfaction to erase his amused smirk from existence.
"Give it time," Sam said without moving. "He doesn’t like new people."
"Neither do I," you murmured, and he snorted. "What?"
"Pretend with me all you want, but maybe do a bit of introspection there."
You crossed your arms with a pout. "You sound like my therapist."
"Mhm," Sam hummed, opening one eye to look at you. "You owe me fifty bucks for that."
"Fuck you."
"Oh, would you look at that, the price just went up."
He chuckled as you flipped him off and went to look for the coffee pot.
Of course, your way got blocked. The downsides of not hating having people around.
Bucky was leaning against the counter, considering you. "You go to therapy?"
"You should try it some time," you said distractedly, reaching around him to get your favorite mug. Bucky recoiled like he was afraid you’d burn him. You shook your head in annoyance. "Helps with the stink eye."
"Is that what they told you?"
"They told me I needed to process my grief, but I decided to focus on some more achievable goals." You took a sip of your coffee, sighing in comfort. "We came up with a compromise."
Bucky scoffed, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He still hadn’t taken his gloves off around you.
"Sounds like a way to drag it out," he said.
You frowned into your cup. "It’s not a race, Barnes. There’s no finish line for this shit."
Something odd went over his face, but he went back to avoiding your gaze when you tried to make it out. You knew him well enough by then to get the hint, and so you left him alone.
What was it to you if he didn’t want to warm up to you. That had no bearing on the fact that overall, your situation wasn’t all too bad anymore.
It was something, you supposed as you curled up in your spot on the couch with your book later that day, slipping in and out of time to keep your company a little longer because deep down, you knew you were sick of being alone.
It was weird and different, yes, but it was still something anyway. Something to do with your afternoons again.
A reason to get up in the morning.
*****
"What are you talking about?" Bucky asks quietly, carefully, but he makes no attempt to pull back from your embrace. It allows you to take another shuddering breath, inhaling his scent until it makes you dizzy.
The fact that you probably won’t be this close to him again any time soon makes you press into his chest even harder, hard enough to feel his heart flutter against your forehead, the shock of the situation making it pick up speed.
For a split second, you slip into a sort of vacuum, your thoughts quieting as he keeps mumbling to you, and in that blissful moment, your situation doesn’t seem quite so dire anymore, more like a bad dream. You’re safe now, aren’t you? How could you not be?
But then you blink back into reality again when Bucky sits you down on the closed lid of your toilet and slowly makes you let go of his shirt, kneeling down in front of you. The blue of his eyes is devastating, even though you have to keep blinking to keep him in focus.
You don’t want to have to do this, you realize once your gasps for air start calming again. You’re not sure if you can bear it.
But nothing in this loop has been about what you wanted.
And so your resolve is made, with your heart sinking until it’s hidden away deep, deep inside of your chest. You ball your hands into fists to keep your fingers from twitching.
Two or three times he watches you inhale, start to say something, halt before you can, almost choking on it. Like your body is refusing to go through with it.
"How do you know when I’m lying?" you finally ask, and your voice sounds oddly clear in your small bathroom.
Bucky’s face goes from concern to confusion, his frown deepening. You want to smoothe it away with your thumb.
You close your eyes so maybe the temptation goes away.
"What?" he asks, and he still sounds so damn gentle.
"I’ve never been able to lie to you," you say. "What’s my tell?"
You can feel him move away from you and the ache of it makes you look again. His shirt and his hands are covered in his own blood, and you’re sure there’s some fucking metaphor in the way it stains the golden inlets of his vibranium arm crimson but for the most part, you can’t unsee the damn irony of it all.
Because you’ve pissed him off now.
"You scared the shit out of me, Y/N. And Sam, too." There’s the sharpness in his voice you know all too well. You haven’t heard it in a while. "What the hell is going on?"
"I’m trapped in a time loop," you say, squeezing your fists more tightly. "I’ve been reliving this day for weeks, my powers aren’t working, I’m the only one who can stop time from completely collapsing, I can’t do that without my powers, and you’re gonna die later today. Am I lying?"
It’s maybe the worst way you’ve ever told him, because watching Bucky’s face change is almost too much. This is exactly why you’re doing it, though; as long as you’re going through this loop with a giant guilty knot in your stomach, you’re not going to make any progress. And you need to put an end to all of it.
So you meet his gaze, almost unwavering, and you don’t blink.
His shock bursts free as an incredulous laugh. "What?"
"I’m stuck," you say again, slower, nodding at his hands, his blood, continuing to push, "and you keep dying."
Bucky looks down, then, before his gaze falls back onto you and he sits back on his heels. The pause lasts for way too long, heavy and smelling of iron, and you’re pretty sure you’re suffocating. He only says one word, and it sounds so defeated. "How?"
You swallow heavily. "You got shot on a mission," you say, but he shakes his head, the fire returning to his eyes.
"No. How did you get stuck?"
"I …" You blink, because you’re not prepared for this question, because you can never predict what he’s going to say, because he keeps doing that to you, because somehow, and not like you’ve expected, you feel like you’ve been here before.
How did it happen? That’s not … Okay.
"It was an accident," you finally say, helplessly, defensively.
There’s a flicker of something in Bucky’s eyes. "What happened?"
"You died. You died that first time and I didn’t—I couldn’t …" You swallow the sob that threatens to shake your voice again. Damnit, you’re supposed to push him away.
He moves his arm, then hesitates, as if he wants to reach out to you but changes his mind at the very last moment.
Right. He doesn’t normally do that.
Except he has.
He has held your hand and pulled you closer and written on your arm and let you lean on him with the full weight of your body, as if to him, you weighed nothing at all. He’s been offering to carry your load so many times, and he doesn’t remember a single one of them.
"Please don’t look at me like that," you say tonelessly, watching Bucky retreat.
"Like what?"
"Like I’m gonna fall apart at any moment. And yes," you add when his mouth opens, "I—I know I just did, I’m aware of the irony, but this is exactly why I can’t keep telling you, I don’t—I can’t stand it." You press your wrists against your temples, ignoring the buzz of the whirling time symbols against your skin, the stinging in your eyes. "You shouldn’t even—I mean, are you even the slightest bit worried about yourself? Because I feel like I’m the only one here, and I should’ve just—"
You stop yourself, shaking your head. Your hands are very clammy all of a sudden, and when you tug at your rings just to do something, one of them slips off your finger and clangs against the tiles as if to punctuate the silence.
When you reach down, you move your wrist in a way that makes you hiss in pain and flinch back. Bucky’s eyes flit between your own and your hand, his frown deepening in a strangely soft way. "Did you break it?" he asks quietly.
"I’m fine," you mumble, and he looks at you disapprovingly. "You’d grabbed my hand just before …"
His jaw twitches as the blame settles in again, and you would do fucking anything to finally make him understand that none of this is his fault. That you should be in pain for what you’re putting him through.
"It should’ve been me," you tell him, because it’s true.
Even earlier in the week, you would’ve taken great delight in seeing Bucky Barnes’ face fall at something you’d said. Hell, you’d have probably enjoyed it on Thursday, because there used to be this easy sort of gratification that came from riling him up, from catching him off guard.
Seeing it now, though?
It makes your fingers twitch.
"Don’t say that. Not even as a joke."
"I’m not joking." You can feel your pulse in your ears. "They aimed a shot at me, and you pushed me out of the way, and you died. So by all accounts, if your instincts weren’t so damn noble all the time, it should’ve been me, and if I weren’t such a fucking coward, I’d have gone back and switched places with you weeks ago."
The thought terrifies you, even though it’s true. No part of you wants to go through the things Bucky is, but if someone gave you the choice between either one of you right now, you wouldn’t even have to think about it.
Maybe that’s the most terrifying thought of them all. You would die for him. Once, twice, however many times are necessary if that meant that he’s safe.
"I’d like to see you try," Bucky says, and something slams into your chest as an old familiar shiver runs down your spine.
There’s a pained edge to his gaze, contemplative and heartbreaking and …
"You’re doing it again," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
"What am I doing?" His hand brushes your knee, and your skin is left searing.
You swallow heavily. "Being noble."
Bucky chuckles softly, and his eyes leave yours for just a moment. "Don’t exactly feel like that."
He’s beautiful.
It’s a new thought, despite everything. Even when you’ve noticed it before, you’d roll your eyes at the fact and move on, because this was Bucky. So what if his face was delectably handsome?
But it seems like you haven’t known it at all, because right now, you feel the knowledge of it, of him, surge through you with all its facets. You can’t even begin to put it into words, because where would you start? How do you explain what he makes you feel when he hasn’t been there himself, not in any way that matters or sticks? And if it’s never happened at all, if time keeps unraveling like this, how can it even be real?
So it’s pure instinct that makes you move, like someone would pinch themselves to ensure they’re not asleep, even though you’re very aware that this isn’t just a dream. You need to confirm that Bucky is real, though.
The air stands still when your fingertips trace along his cheekbone, leaving a delicate flush behind in their trail, barely touching and yet …
And yet.
His breath hitches when they dip lower, almost reaching the place you’ve watched dimple when he laughs, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t laugh, either.
There’s a scraping sound at the closed bathroom door, followed by a short knock. You flinch backwards.
"I’m leaving the first aid kit on the bed," Sam calls from the other side. "Just … holler if you need me."
"Thanks, Sam," Bucky says coarsely, and you can hear steps receding. The scratching continues, though. That damn cat.
Finally, he breaks eye contact, clearing his throat.
"Do you want me to help you clean up?"
You shake your head. You’re not sure you could stomach more of this. "I’m good, don’t … Don’t worry about it."
Bucky drags a hand through his hair, muttering something to himself you can’t quite make out. Slowly, he gets to his feet again.
"We need to come up with a plan," he says, and you want to cry except … you’re tired. Tired and sick of this.
"I need to come up with a plan," you correct him. "We have been trying to do this as a team for weeks, and it doesn’t change anything except waste time and …" And hurt. "I can’t do it anymore, Buck."
There must be something in your voice that thaws his defiant glare a little. "So what’s the plan?"
And with a sigh, you fill him in on everything that’s been going on with Strange and your powers. Again. One last time.
You have to do this alone.
Bucky ignores your insistence that you can manage just fine and sets your wrist while you talk. Alpine, now free to roam wherever she pleases again, has decided the bathroom isn’t quite that interesting after a short look inside, and is now taking a nap in the spot of sunshine next to your bed.
"New deal," he says once you’re done, once he’s thought about it all, and you raise your eyebrows. "Don’t do anything stupid."
"You know me," you smile, checking the makeshift dressing around your hand. The green symbols are hidden by the layers of gauze.
Bucky doesn’t bite. "I’m serious, just—don’t."
"How would you know?"
"I wouldn’t," he says, snapping the first aid kit shut so vehemently Alpine’s tail twitches. "But I trust you."
Your head whips up at his words, even though his back is still turned to you. He doesn’t see your face as your heart is jostled into a new rhythm, so violently and unexpectedly that you lift your hand without thinking, pinkie outstretched.
"Promise."
He smiles when he notices, and you wish you could take a picture to carry with you through the rest of this nightmare.
That day, he dies with your stupid nickname on his lips, twisted into something that looks strangely close to that earlier smile. This one doesn’t have time to reach his eyes, though.
***
There’s been a change in the weather.
Not literally, no; of course not literally. Fuck, you long for a single cloud, a raindrop, a damn hailstorm to break the streak of endless perfectly sunny days that don’t fit your mood in the slightest.
But there’s a tinge to the sky that makes your stomach turn. It’s not very obvious to anyone who hasn’t looked at the exact same sunset for weeks on end, just a single strip of color across a storybook horizon. It looks like a crack.
"Do you see that?" you ask warily when you notice it for the first time, ominous and yet almost completely hidden by the trees and the buildings. Just dancing around the edge of your vision like another mockery.
"What?" Sam asks, eyes not leaving the path ahead.
"That … thing in the sky. What is that?"
Bucky stops and squints at where you’re pointing. "It’s called a cloud," he says dryly.
"With that color?" you murmur, but continue walking when he stops to turn to you, your wrist tingling. His stare is searing your neck, but you ignore that, too.
The best course of action, you’ve learned, is to shut your brain off as soon as you get out of the quinjet and just go through the motions, trying to ride out the mission like you’ve done dozens of times before. There’s a sort of autopilot you’ve fallen into after a couple of days, and it’s the only thing keeping you somewhat sane. Most days, it means it’s all over quickly, and you can’t help but feel glad about that.
You’ve given up trying to change your own actions to get him through the day.
But this …
It’s something new, and in all this monotony, that thought is both frightening and exciting. It distracts you enough to get you off script.
"Lovely interior design," Sam mumbles like he always does.
"Remember how this was supposed to be a day off?" You kick one of the pebbles in your path with a sigh. "What happened to 'don’t worry, Y/N, after training the day is all yours'?"
"Occupational hazard," Sam says, checking his map for the thousandth time.
"You know what I mean."
"Don’t you have tomorrow off?" Bucky says over the intercom.
Tomorrow. "Right." It comes out somewhat strained, your fingernails digging into the palm of your hand. "And why do you know that?"
Sam shakes his head and there’s a brief crackle of static in your ear. For a fraction of a second, you nearly dare to hope Bucky will give you an answer, even though you have no clue what it would be.
"They’re heading your way now," he says instead, "so get a move on."
And just like that, you’re back on track.
Quickly clearing your throat of the lump that has formed there, you say tonelessly, "I probably only have one reset left. Two, if we’re lucky and you two aren’t being stupid again."
It’s taken you a while to get used to it. To the constant lying.
You’ve worn fingerless gloves on missions before, so that’s not raised any questions from the others yet, and your rings stay hidden away. You’ve been more reluctant to take them off since the one you lost on your bathroom floor vanished into thin air.
The other thing you’ve picked up on while endlessly repeating this day is that Bucky is less likely to catch you in a lie if he can’t see your face.
So you’ve made an effort of spending as little time as possible with him.
It’s surprisingly easy to stay in your room for the majority of the day, because he doesn’t remember it ever being any other way. Even today’s little exchange will be lost to the loop soon enough, just like that little pause he made, just like the bullet through his heart.
Still, when you wake up with a start on Friday, July 4th, you look at the sky first. Its perfect blue doesn’t soothe the sinking feeling in your stomach at all.
You’ve been waiting for something to change for weeks, and now that it’s here, you don’t like it at all.
"What did you expect?" Strange says with an infuriating composure once you’ve nervously recounted your experience. "I told you, time isn’t supposed to get stuck in this way. Of course your reality was going to act up sooner or later."
"I really feel like you should be more concerned about this," you mutter, letting a ball of green energy pass from your left hand to the right. It’s about the size of a quarter now.
"Honestly," Strange answers, "I thought something like this would have happened a while ago." He taps his fingers together. "Again. Slower."
"So what am I supposed to do then, just ignore it?" The green ball pulses with your indignation, turns around itself once and then sinks into your palm again.
"In all likelihood, it’s a one time glitch. If everything is back to normal today, I wouldn’t worry about it."
Your thumb rubs across the empty space on your finger. "Easy for you to say if you’re not the one who’s stuck in an endless hellscape."
"Aren’t I?"
You both roll your eyes at each other, but then you bite the inside of your cheek again, unable to shake the feeling of a whole new shade of dread. "What if it’s not just a one time glitch?"
The corners of Strange’s cloak roll up on themselves, and he doesn’t meet your eye when he says, "We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it."
It’s still early when you return to the present, too early for Bucky to be back from wherever he’s always going, so you decide to venture out of your room again, stretching your tired limbs. You’re pretty sure at this point that waking up on the floor is never going to feel fun.
Sam is in the kitchen as always, reading something on his laptop. He’s still sitting down, which means that it’s even earlier than you expected. You miss these early parts of the day, the calm before the storm.
If today were only made up of these few hours, you suppose, it might not be half so bad.
You pull up a chair next to him and lean a cheek against your hand. "What’re you doing?"
"Research." Sam sighs, rubbing his temples. "Remember that ULTIMATUM group?"
"Never heard of them," you say with a small yawn. "Is that an acronym? What does it stand for?"
Sam gives you a glare and your mouth twitches slightly.
"Anyway," he continues, turning his laptop so you can see the article he’s reading. "They’ve been more active again lately. Acquired a couple thousand dollars’ worth of lab equipment through one of their contacts and then went underground again."
Of course, you know all this. You’ve been over it again and again, back when you were all still trading information like it could save Bucky’s life. Like there was a deeper meaning behind any of this damn loop other than the fact that you, and you alone, fucked up.
Useless.
You close the mental door on those thoughts and take a deep breath. You hate to admit it, but all of this sitting around with your thoughts bullshit you’ve been doing has actually helped you to clear your head somewhat—if only to make it through the parts of the day you can’t avoid.
"And now what?" you ask, pretending to just have reacquainted yourself with the topic.
"Now," Sam says, taking his laptop with him as he stands up and strolls over to the kitchen island, "I’m waiting for Torres to get back to me so we can decide our next steps once we’re all recovered." He gives you a meaningful look and you scowl.
Then, slowly, his words register in your brain, and you stare at his back as he stretches and then moves to make some coffee, wordlessly taking one of your mugs out of the cupboard as well as his own.
"You don’t seem too worried," you say hesitantly.
Sam shrugs. "Until we have a proper lead, there’s not much we can do. And I doubt they’ll be doing any actual damage any time soon. They’re a lot more covert than the Flag Smashers ever were."
"Right," you say, more to yourself than in response.
"Try that again, less convincing?"
"I don’t know," you mutter, slowly following him to lean against the fridge. "Just … what if Torres did find something? Should I be getting ready?"
Sam frowns. "Are you not telling me something again?"
You try to shake the thought, pulling your arms around you. "Forget it."
You don’t, though.
It keeps bugging you, because that day like any other day, he knocks on your door at 4:32 on the dot, and you go on that mission anyway. And even though this has been happening for weeks, you’re just starting to suspect that you are, in fact, still not getting the whole picture.
***
Catching a glimpse of Sam’s phone turns out to be more difficult than you first thought.
You’re still trying to get the timing exactly right a couple of days later, and you miscalculate enough to catch Bucky on his way upstairs.
"Hey," he says, his shoulders tense when he looks at you. There’s a restlessness to him that he’s not quick enough to hide; or maybe you’ve just grown more perceptive when it comes to him.
"Hi," you say, crossing your hands behind your back. "Where’ve you been?"
He shrugs. "For a walk."
You already know he won’t elaborate if you try poking, so you don’t. "Was it good?"
"Lotta people." He hesitates when you continue to not meet his eye, and then he says, "Do you want to talk about it?"
You swallow, ignoring the tingling sensation on your wrist. "Not particularly. Do you?"
Bucky’s jaw twitches. "Nah."
Somehow, you feel like that’s also a lie. Once again, you’re left wondering.
The silence between you stretches as you continue to not quite look at each other, until you finally clear your throat, nodding at the front door. "I’m getting coffee, do you want something?"
Honestly, it’s just an excuse as to why you need to leave before he notices something off again somehow, but Bucky tilts his head in amusement.
"Didn’t you just get some this morning?"
"So? I like coffee."
"Really. I never knew."
"Screw you."
You can hear him huff behind you, but thankfully the door falls shut before you can do anything stupid. Like turning around to face him, for example.
You miss his eyes.
Why won’t you look at me?
When the elevator doors open, you almost yelp into your delivery guy’s face. He stumbles a half-step backwards, somehow managing to keep a hold of the boxes precariously balanced on his arm while he’s reading something on his phone.
"Oh my god," he lets out, "I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I was just …"
"Early." You blink.
"Sorry?"
"Nothing," you say, frowning only a little. "Wait, let me get that."
You quickly sign for the delivery and open the door with your keycard, holding it open for him. You’re not exactly afraid of burglars these days, and besides; you know this guy by now.
"If you could just go straight ahead and to the right, that’s where the kitchen is."
"Sure thing," he shrugs. "Thanks—"
His mouth snaps shut and he blushes a little as if he wanted to say something else but thought better of it.
You’ve introduced him to Sam enough times you know he’s going to be fine, so you just smile and wave him in.
When you step out on the street, you instinctually look up at the sky. It’s outrageously blue, blatantly perfect for an endless Friday, and even when you squint, you can’t make out any irregularities.
It’s a tiny relief, but a relief nontheless.
Lucy is leaning against the wall just out of sight of the storefront, an unlit cigarette dangling between her lips as she rummages through her pockets. Her colorful makeup has begun to melt off in the sweltering heat, making the red-white-and-blue stars on her cheeks bleed into each other to look somewhat purplish.
"Are you off or on break?" you call over.
She lifts her head, the glare vanishing when she recognizes you. "Counting the seconds," she says. "Don’t you have anything better to do?"
You sidestep a couple of pedestrians hurrying to cross the street and join her. "Not really."
"I hate you." She finally fishes a lighter out of her back pocket, sighing contentedly as she takes her first drag. "I swear, this day just won’t pass."
Fine. Maybe your chuckle is a little shrill. "I’m sorry."
Lucy waves you off with a gesture crude enough to make a young dad with a stroller send the two of you a dirty look. "You without your shadow today?" she asks, inspecting her nails.
You blink. "My shadow."
"You know. Your friend who’s been in here eight thousand times and still gets confused when he orders." A cloud of smoke vanishes into thin air. "Kind of the lingering type, isn’t he?"
"He’s old," you say, because for some reason nothing else comes to mind.
"Not that old."
"No," you agree, "not that old."
For a moment, you’re afraid she’s going to ask you to pass her number along to him, and you’re already scrambling to find an answer somewhere in the depths of your brain, coming up empty. That’s the problem with being able to unhave entire conversations; you don’t usually really have to deal with reactions if you don’t want to.
Without your powers, though, you’re stuck, and it’s making you wish you hadn’t come here at all.
Instead of any of that, she pulls a flyer out of her other pocket. "Sorin and Cass are doing a gig in Brooklyn next week, do you wanna come with? They’re still terrible, but they got a new bassist who seems alright."
You take the flyer, staring at it. "I didn’t know they’re in a band," you admit.
The truth is, you’ve never paid that much close attention to the people you work with. Maybe that’s been a mistake.
Lucy shrugs. "You’re always doing your own thing." It stings, even though you’re pretty sure she doesn’t mean for it to. "It’d be fun if you came, though."
"I’ll think about it," you say, and your smile is a little unsure, but genuine.
So is hers.
"If you don’t want to hang with us all night, you can bring some friends, too." Her emphasis hangs in the air between you like a dare.
You snort. "I feel like this isn’t quite their scene."
"You feel like or you know?"
"Isn’t that the same thing?"
"No." She puts her cigarette out on the wall behind her. "Knowledge is based on experience. On memories. Your feelings don’t sit in your head. And so they don’t make sense and they’re not necessarily true." She winks.
"You’re weirdly smart," you say, shaking your head.
"I know. It’s a curse." Lucy sighs. "Anyway, think about it. I gotta get back to hell."
"You know," you say with a grin, "I could really do with a frappuccino right about now."
"You know what you could do?" she answers in her sweetest customer service voice, pointing you down the street. "Get in a trash can."
Damnit. You might actually grow to like Lucy.
She taps her fingers against her temple and then shuffles back inside, a hot rush of air blowing out of the AC as the door opens. You fold the flyer up to fit into your back pocket, hoping you’ll make it to that concert one day, and then you walk on, aimless again for the moment.
***
Time passes while it’s standing still.
The problem is, at least for the moment, that by all appearances you’ve reverted back to square one. Going through your day as though any of this is even remotely normal, counting the hours and minutes to reenter the astral plane and feel some semblance of control again.
It’s been nice, really, if you’re ignoring the constant underlying feeling of dread.
Which you’re getting better at.
You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.
Rinse and repeat.
You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.
Even on days when you’re sure you’re making progress with your powers, every reset makes it just a little harder to keep dragging yourself onwards.
You wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume.
"You look like shit."
Your head rolls to the side slowly, allowing yourself a glance while Bucky is still distracted with his arm. Concentration makes his brows knit, and something warm spreads in your chest.
"I’m so tired," you say, voice barely above a whisper.
He doesn’t look at you, but you’re grateful for it for once. Your eyes are stinging a little.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Yes. Yes. Yes.
"Not particularly."
"Do you want to talk about something else?"
You almost smile. "Like what?"
Bucky shrugs with one shoulder. "Like the fact that you just planted Sam into the mat head-first and yet made a face like you killed a puppy?"
Sometimes you wonder how he still manages to slip in without you noticing, no matter how many times he does it.
"Did I?"
"Did you kill a puppy? I’d hope not."
Your body’s been getting stronger, anticipating Sam’s every move. At this point, it’s not so much training as it is an exercise in muscle memory; but how would he know that?
It still isn’t enough. It’s never enough.
You pitiful, selfish, useless bastard.
"You’re doing it again," Bucky says and you blink.
"Doing what?"
"I don’t know, but I don’t like it."
Something inside you twinges uncomfortably and you wrap your arms around your knees, pulling them into your chest. "That might just be me, period."
Bucky huffs. "Take the towel on the right," he says. "I already used the other one."
So you do.
And then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume, and then you wake up with blah, blah, blah.
"I can’t do this anymore."
Strange watches you, but you don’t get up from where you’re lying, blankly staring at the ceiling, feeling like your chest is about to explode.
You don’t want to feel like something is tearing you apart every single time, even though you know it’s not permanent. There’s always the tiniest glimmer of hope that this will all be over soon.
Or maybe it’s dread.
"Maybe you can’t," Strange answers.
You blink, sitting upright. "What?"
"Maybe you are actually incapable of cleaning up your own mess. You’ve never had any training before, after all. Maybe you’re too weak."
Useless. Not good enough. Waste of time.
"If this is reverse psychology, it’s not working," you say through gritted teeth, pressing your eyes shut so tightly they don’t burn anymore.
Strange ignores you. "Maybe you’re going to be stuck in this loop forever. If that’s the case, there’s no point to keep trying either. Maybe we should just call it a day."
You can feel your breaths coming in shorter.
"Maybe you’re just going to keep failing to save anyone for the rest of your life."
"Stop it!"
An explosion of power goes through your body, bouncing off the walls and bathing the room in a ghostly green light. You cough and curl into yourself as you watch it billow, still echoing the words back at you, "too weak", "stuck in this loop forever". Your bones are heavy with exhaustion.
Strange crouches down next to you and a cup of fragrant tea draws itself up to the side of your face.
"You’re drawing the bulk of your power from pain. From a desire to fix things that you think you alone are responsible for when the truth is that each and every one of us is constantly creating reality."
"Fuck you," you mumble. When you sit up, your head is still swimming.
"You cannot keep this up."
"If I’m such a lost case, then why do you bother?"
"I’m trying to tell you that you’re not." He points at the walls, still covered by that greenish fog. "This is the strongest display of your powers I’ve seen from you yet, and it only happened because you were lashing out. Pain is not a sustainable source of energy. Imagine what you could do if you could be in control."
Do as I tell you.
"There’s no way to control my powers on a larger scale. It’s impossible."
"You keep telling me that, and yet you keep coming back. Why?"
You push yourself up to your elbows, wiping at your face. "Because I have to hope, right?"
"And there it is."
You take a sip of your tea and some feeling returns to your translucent fingers. Strange’s cloak draws itself around your shoulders.
The wizard himself stays quiet for another minute or two, before he asks, "Why do you think I’m talking to you right now? Helping you, even, nevermind your constant whining and your insistence that this won’t work, after you’ve spent your whole life running away from anything resembling actual responsibilities."
"I didn’t—"
"Answer the question."
"Because I created a time loop?" you guess.
"But you already know that this loop is just one point on the timeline. A single day, repeated endlessly, but going exactly like it was always supposed to, once resolved. So, without the time stone and my privileges as the Sorcerer Supreme, and with your protections still in place, how would I have found you?"
He knew exactly where and when to look for you. But he’s right, that shouldn’t even have been possible unless …
"I came to you," you realize. "Or, I will, once I get out of this." The relief that washes over you makes you want to sob. "So there is a way out?"
"Of course there is," he says, surprisingly gently. "Time isn’t supposed to get stuck."
You sit with that for a minute, hiding your face in your hands as Strange stays silent. Finally, you take a deep breath and look at him again with newly sharp focus.
"So why don’t you just tell me how to do it?"
He raises an eyebrow. "You know that’s not how it works."
"Yes. It is. It’s literally what I do all the time."
"What you do is leaving realities you don’t like by turning backwards."
"That’s not true."
"Just because your motivations aren’t entirely selfish doesn’t mean you’re right."
You’re so damn exhausted. The frustration of this whole thing is really starting to scratch at your sanity, and there’s an ache in your chest as you stare at your own sleeping face, biting the inside of your cheek, thinking.
Strange snaps his fingers to get your attention back.
"I’m not a mind reader," he says. "Out with it."
"I want to see him," you say, getting up. The cloak flaps around you in a very satisfying way. "Bucky. It’s early this morning, right? Just before the loop starts again. That means he’s upstairs."
"And what’s seeing him going to do?"
You ignore him and walk towards the door, reaching for the handle. Your hand goes right through it. You try it several more times, to no avail.
"Heaven help me," Strange mutters behind you.
Shutting your eyes, you take a deep breath. The circle of green tingles around your wrist.
Then, you walk through the closed door.
You fully expect to crash into the wood head first, but instead you feel the door moving through your noncorporeal form, and then you’re standing on the other side.
With a startled hum, you turn left, not waiting to see if you’re being followed.
You only hesitate in front of Bucky’s bedroom door. You’ve never actually been inside his room since he’s moved in; well, apart from that time he patched up your feet and you woke up in the astral plane for the first time. It feels odd to consider entering without him actually being aware of it.
Then again, there’s quite a few things at this point that he’s unaware of.
Before you can make up your mind, the door swings open just a little, and you automatically take a step back. Alpine sleepily slinks through the gap and trots off in the direction you came from, probably to sit in the kitchen and mope until FRIDAY activates the food dispenser again. On the stairs, she passes Strange who raises an eyebrow at you.
"Changed your mind?"
You glance into the room.
At first, you can’t find him. The bedding looks untouched, and there’s a brief flurry of panic that makes you step inside before you can keep questioning yourself.
Bucky is lying on the floor next to the bed, his hands balled tightly into an old throw blanket. It’s haphazardly draped across his torso, like he’s been trying to wriggle free during the night. He grimaces in his sleep.
Try the floor.
You can’t help but wonder when he’s last tried the bed.
"Can he hear us?" you ask quietly, not needing to look over your shoulder as you sink to the floor next to Bucky.
"No," Strange says. "Not until you put in a lot more work."
"Would he remember if I did?"
"I don’t know."
You do look back at him, then. "You know, considering your position you don’t know a whole lot of things."
You concentrate on your own hand until you’re starting to feel cool metal underneath your fingertips, ignoring the throbbing of your head. Carefully, you touch the crease between his brows, smoothing it out tenderly.
Bucky sighs a little in his sleep, but doesn’t stir. Doesn’t stop quietly murmuring in his dreams.
"You feel better?" Strange asks.
"Not really." You’ve already reached out to him without it having any repercussions too many times. "But that wasn’t the point."
"What was?"
"Just …"
Comfort. He brings you comfort, even when he doesn’t know it. It’s the same reason you keep waiting for him to arrive in the gym in the mornings, even though you could probably hurry up and miss him.
Even if the loop never ends, it’s still good to see that it’s bringing him back like it’s supposed to.
How incredibly selfish, you think as you continue looking at Bucky and letting a quiet, hesitant wash of calm come over you.
And then, all of a sudden, his eyes open.
You flinch backwards, but even though you’re almost face to face, he seems to stare right through you, his breaths heavy.
"Did I do something?" you say quietly.
"No," Strange answers. "This is just when he wakes up."
You watch as Bucky drags a hand over his face and then gets up with a determined tick in his jaw, grabbing a notebook from the nightstand. He scribbles something down, hastily, like it’s threatening to get away from him if he doesn’t hurry. You don’t have to read it to know it has something to do with what he’s seen in his sleep.
When the words stop flowing, he sits on the edge of the bed for a minute longer, but the tension doesn’t leave his shoulders. Finally, he rolls his left arm a few times before pulling on a shirt and his running shoes.
He always goes for a run in the morning. You’ve made fun of him for it before, but you hadn’t put together that while Strange was trying to get you to clear your own head through sitting still, Bucky might be doing the exact opposite to get the same result.
The door clicks shut.
"Are we done with the spying, then?" Strange says.
"No need to get weird about it," you mumble and take his outstretched hand.
***
Something changes once you know that your situation actually has an end date, even though Strange either cannot or will not tell you how many more loops you’re going to have to go through until then. Even so, there’s a new assurance to your every step again, a determination grown from the knowledge that all this isn’t for nothing. That there is an out.
You can cling to that.
"What would you do if you were stuck in a time loop?" you ask, letting your legs dangle over the ledge of the roof.
"Ew, no," Lucy replies, shaking the few remaining ice cubes in her cup emphatically. "My shift was long enough as is, and I’ve been looking forward to my Sunday off all week."
"Fair point," you concede.
It’s early afternoon then, and you’ve found a quiet spot on the top of the Tower. If Lucy was at all confused why you’d shown up at the store right when she clocked out and asked her to hang out, she’s not showing it. Over the past couple of loops, you’ve learned that she really likes to go with the flow, and you appreciate that.
"If it’s not today, though," she continues, like she’s thinking aloud. "Imagine the books you could read. You could try out all that stuff that you say you want to do, and then you never have the time to actually do them."
It’s a good thought, but a lack of time has never really been an issue for you. "Nothing you do would really stick, though."
She squints against the sun. "You realize that’s a pro, right? No consequences whatsoever. I could cut my bangs again and they’d be gone the next day."
"You used to have bangs?"
"Never, and I’m willing to state that in a court of law."
You smile and lean back on your elbows. "If something good happened, that’d be gone, too, though. You don’t get to keep that, either."
"Yeah," Lucy says thoughtfully. "I’d still remember it though, right? It still happened. I could make it happen again."
"Maybe." Your thumb scratches the empty space on your pinkie. Even though you’ve turned your entire bathroom upside down, your ring is still gone, like it just up and disappeared from this reality. You can’t help but wonder if that rift in the sky from a few todays ago has anything to do with that.
"What about you?"
"Hm?"
Lucy takes another slurping sip from her almost empty cup. "What would you do in a time loop?"
You can’t help but laugh. "I’d try to keep making the good things happen, I guess."
"Sounds like a lot of work."
It is.
"Are you out of your damn mind?" someone shouts behind you. "It’s in the fricking nineties today and you’re baking?"
"Technically, we are baking," you say, nodding at Lucy and leaning back further so you can look at Sam upside down. "And we’re baking for you."
"Hi, cap," Lucy says, pulling her sunglasses off.
"Hey." Sam crosses his arms and fixes you with a very cap-like glare. "Why are you baking for me."
"Y/N said it’s for your birthday."
"My—" He cuts himself off, rubbing his temples. "My birthday’s in September."
"Whoops," you say, your grin just believable enough. "My bad, cap."
"You’re not funny," Sam says, "I hope you know that."
You know.
Of course, today isn’t actually his birthday, not even if time were allowed to pass normally. It is day forty-fucking-nine of the loop, though, which makes it your fiftieth time living through this crap and frankly, you all deserve some damn pie.
It’s not going to make a difference in the long run, of course, and yet you can’t help but feel like keeping count of those little markers of time helps to hold your head above water. Making the good things happen, even if they don’t change a thing and no one but you is going to remember.
So you simply say, "It’s turtle pie," because you know that it’s Sam’s favorite. "Hey, what’s the time?"
"Oh, it better be," he says, holding his phone up for you to read and then marching out of your field of vision.
Sadly, you’re just about a minute early.
"He could’ve stayed," Lucy says when you let out a frustrated huff.
"He has that thing at the Garden," you tell her distractedly, taking a mental note to stall Sam a little longer next time.
"There you are."
You flinch at the sound of Bucky’s voice, barely daring to move your head when he sits next to you, his back to the brink.
He never comes up here. That’s the whole point.
"Hi?" you say carefully, and a grin tugs at his mouth.
"Not you," he says, nodding to the ground in front of him.
You turn around fully to find Alpine taking a nap just a few feet behind you, her snowy tail wrapped around a flower pot.
You let out a relieved breath and ignore the small sting in your chest. Of course he’s not up here because of you. Why would he be?
"Gee, thanks," you murmur, quietly shifting around so your hands are hidden underneath your legs. "You sure know how to charm the ladies."
You glance back at Lucy, but she’s looking at her phone, her eyes once again indecipherable behind the large sunglasses.
Bucky raises an eyebrow. "Think you could handle my charm, Y/L/N?"
He might has well have doused you in a bucket of ice water. You’re suddenly very aware of every single cell in your body, and you don’t like the challenge sparkling in his eyes.
So you do what you always do and you block it out. Dismiss and distract.
"Does Alpine seem weird to you?"
He tilts his head, his jaw tight. "Weird how?"
"I don’t know," you say, staring at her. "She’s just been acting … odd, lately. Today, I mean."
And following you around in a way you’re pretty sure she’s never done before. Not before the loop, at least.
Bucky sighs. "Did you make her scratch you again? Because I’ve told you before that I’m not getting rid of her for enforcing her boundaries."
"First of all, I never make her scratch me, she does that well enough on her own."
"That’s victim blaming," Lucy says without looking up. Bucky snorts and you almost roll your eyes.
"Second of all, she’s up to something. I know it."
"Oh, yes," Bucky says dryly just as Alpine makes a small noise in her dreams, her nose twitching. "That’s the embodiment of evil right there."
"I don’t trust her," you mutter.
"And yet the cat’s the weird one."
"I hate you," you mumble, standing up. "I’m gonna go check on the pie."
"There’s pie?" Bucky says.
"Not for you!"
You turn at the door to see Lucy leaning in to show Bucky something on her phone; the frown has disappeared from his face, his shoulders relaxed. If he’d pull off his glove right now, it’d almost be like sitting in a park.
That’s good, you tell yourself as the door slams shut behind you with a bit too much gusto. Reminds you that there’s nothing special about you in particular, which is much needed, really.
Can’t wait to punch that one out of your system later.
Again and again and again and a—
"Whoa, whoa, you alright?"
You blink. Riff slumps to the ground in front of you, body limp.
Bucky stares at you in concern, his hand still on your shoulder. His lip has split open and there’s the usual bruise already forming on his cheekbone. You can’t help it. Your gaze is drawn down, your breathing shallow.
You screw your eyes shut to snap yourself out of it, but when you open them again, Bucky hasn’t moved an inch.
"Never better," you whisper, and for a split second, you almost believe it yourself.
Liar, liar, liar.
***
At least, you suppose, reality seems considerably less broken these days. No more cracks in the sky.
You get your wake-up call when you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY …
"… FRIDAY?" you say into the silence of your room, your heart pounding wildly. This cannot be happening. Not now.
Not yet.
He got shot again yesterday.
A pleasant jingling sound rings out. "Good morning, Ms. Y/L/N."
You look at the clock on the wall. Ten to eight, just like every morning. "What day is it?"
"Today is Friday, July 4th."
You can taste bile in your mouth despite your relief. There’s an impatient thrum to the symbols around your wrist, like a noose that’s tightening.
What did you expect?
"Rise and shine, McFly! Time to get your ass kicked!"
"Didn’t you set FRIDAY to wake me?" you ask Sam as you’re climbing the stairs, nerves on edge.
He looks at you weirdly. "I did. You’re up, aren’t you?"
You bite the inside of your cheek. "Didn’t sleep well."
That much, at least, is still true. Full nights of sleep are a long distant memory from before constant back-to-back repetitions. The only time your body shuts off is when you manage to sleep for a little bit in between your astral visits and the mission call.
"I hope you don’t think that’s an excuse," Sam says, bumping your shoulder, and you manage a tired grin.
"You wish."
Today, you let him win, even though your ankle makes an odd crack when you land on the mat. You’ll take care of it later.
"You look like shit."
Grief and relief, you’ve learned, both taste like salt and iron, but the latter is so much easier to swallow.
"That makes two of us," you say, sitting up slowly. "How was your run?"
"Good," Bucky says, putting the cloth away and stretching his fingers out. They catch a ray of sunlight. "What’s wrong with you?"
Not this again.
"Later, okay?" you answer, because that’s not a lie. "Let’s just … not, right now?"
"Alright," he says.
And, oh, you want to tell him again. Because he doesn’t press it. Because you miss having someone to share things with. Because you miss telling him the whole truth. Because you’re scared, and tired, and sick of losing him.
But those are egotistic thoughts, and so you keep them all to yourself and take the towel on the right.
There’s one good thing about this today. You make it to the living room just in time to finally catch a glimpse of Sam’s phone right when it pings with Torres’ message.
I can check it out on Monday if you’d like.
That’s it. No urgency, weirdly proper spelling, not even an exclamation mark.
In other words, you’re not sure what you expected but you’re no closer to answers than before.
"What does it matter?" Strange sighs when you tell him all of this with a frown.
"It matters," you reply, "because if we hadn’t gone on the mission, Bucky wouldn’t have died that first time and none of this would’ve happened."
"So what?" he says. "It’s already done."
"But if I could prevent it—"
"It already happened."
"I can make it not happen."
"You and what powers?" Strange says sharply. "Even if you did that, it wouldn’t stop the loop."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you’ve already seen first-hand that it’s bound to you and your powers, not to whatever you do or don’t do during the day. Karma is a fairy tale for those who don’t want to take responsibility for their actions."
"Do you really still think this is me not taking responsibility?" There’s a green flare that goes through you, hot and seething and making goosebumps crawl down your arms.
Strange smiles at the sight. "Let’s find out."
He extends his arms and slowly opens his fists until orange symbols dance across his shaky fingers. The band around your wrist prickles at the weight of his magic flooding the air.
Strange’s cloak nudges you towards the center of the room and your heart gives a heavy thud. "What, right now?"
"Would you prefer being stuck for a couple weeks more?"
"Of course not it’s just—I don’t feel ready."
"No one ever feels ready until they try."
And maybe it’s because it reminds you of something Steve once said, but it makes you step up, falling into the stance you’ve practiced over and over again. You breathe in deeply and close your eyes.
The pull comes easier now. Your powers have just been resting, nestled somewhere deep inside your bones like glowing embers, waiting for you to call upon them.
When you look at your open palm, the green wisps of your powers have curled up to the size of a ping-pong ball. You take another steadying breath and let it glide to the tips of your fingers, carefully letting it balance itself out for a second before moving your other hand.
"Good," you can hear Strange say quietly.
Slowly, carefully, you let the threads untangle until they’re just about to touch the green band circling around your wrist. You can feel the electric tingle of it, the soft beat of each passing second contained within, and you push past it.
You’ve done this before, so you’re not surprised when you feel the energy drain from your body almost immediately. Up until now, though, it’s just been trial and error, not expecting anything to happen. This time, you have Strange’s magic feeding some of his strength into you as well, and so instead of hesitating, you press on, your heartbeat speeding up.
The band around your wrist does the same.
"Don’t lose your focus." Strange’s voice sounds very far away, almost warped.
Very funny, you might have said, but you’re too busy watching it all unfold.
The whirring inside of your head grows louder as the circlet of time keeps rotating with accelerating speed, faster and faster until your eyes start tearing up and there’s something that looks almost like a crack.
You gasp quietly. At first, you think you might have just imagined it, but then the split starts growing, the symbols growing farther and farther apart as the band itself keeps spinning. Your pulse is beating in your ears. Your wrist feels like it’s being set on fire.
There are voices, then, quiet and fast, like you’re watching a sped up movie, music and noises and chatter and birdsong and a whooshing sound like something flipping right past you. Then, something like distant shots.
I’m getting Bucky out of this, you think as the green band continues rotating until suddenly, there is a shockwave of green light that takes up your entire field of vision.
You close your stinging eyes, keeping your feet firmly planted on the floor as your powers rush through you once more and then, with a shudder, settle down again, exhausted. The glare subsides. Something like a trickle of sweat runs down your noncorporeal neck.
"Did it work?" you ask, your voice rough, not daring to look for yourself. There’s no answer, though. "Doc?"
Slowly, your eyes readjust to the gloomy darkness of your room in the astral realm. The only source of light is the glowing green band continuing to circle around your wrist, the rifts stabilizing again like it’s clicking back into place.
You swear under your breath and turn around to ask what went wrong, but Strange is no longer standing beside you.
You’re all alone.
***
Three, two, one—
"Iced grande extra whip caramel macchia—shit!"
You catch the plastic cup before it drops onto the suit of the business man standing in line in front of you. "Here you go, sir."
He grabs his drink with a grunt and hurries back outside. One of these days, you might ask him why he’s in such a hurry, but it’s not today.
You’ve grown to adore the noise of the pre-noon rush. The cacophany of the whirring machines, the AC and the people is just loud enough to make your head calm down a little. Besides, being alone in a crowd has never been easier than when you know for a fact they are not going to remember you.
The drinks are starting to pile up at the hand-out, and because you feel bad for your colleagues, you start handing them out to people. You’ve been here a lot, after all.
"Tall hazelnut latte for Misty!"
Plus, it helps to keep your mind from wandering back to everything that’s going wrong.
Strange still hasn’t returned.
The astral dimension feels different when you return the day after your experiment, like someone’s been pulling invisible strings to make everything just slightly more disordered and dark.
It’s cold, too. You watch your body shiver in her sleep as you wrap your arms around yourself. The books are still there, shimmering slightly with the magic they contain.
"Doc?" you call out, and the vibrations of this place hum it back at you. There’s no answer.
The book at the top of the pile is still opened to a page, as if it’d just been left a moment ago, and you pick it up. The words glide around like they are looking to jump back into an inkpot, and you have to squint to make out any of them.
Incursion, the section header reads. Result of a contraction in a universe’s timeline. Can cause premature disintegration or collapse of any one reality within the multiverse.
"Just great," you say, slapping the book shut again. "I get it, alright? You can come out now."
But there’s no sound apart from your own heartbeat.
Your noncorporeal head is swimming with pressure as you pass through the closed door and into the hallway. The walls seem larger than usual, the stairs warping ever so slightly underneath your feet so that you can’t look at them for too long without feeling seasick.
Upstairs, the air doesn’t feel quite as heavy. The silence follows you, though, lingering in the grayish morning shadows like the remnants of a nightmare.
Bucky still mumbles in his.
You can’t make out what he is saying, and you wouldn’t have understood the words, anyway, but there’s sweat on his brow again. His fingers are tightly clutching the thin throw blanket like it’s shielding him from whatever he’s seeing in his dreams.
You take a step closer to him, desperate to do something, anything, when you notice movement out of the corner of your eye.
Alpine is perched on top of the bed, complacently tucked into herself on one of the fluffed up white pillows like it’s really her room, not Bucky’s.
And she’s staring right at you.
You take a step to the side, then another. Alpine tilts her head, her large eyes fixed on you. They follow your gestures as you wave your hand.
A quick glance tells you that Bucky is still sleeping. You take a deep breath and conjure up a small dot of bright green light, letting it dance across your fingertips. Alpine uncurls herself in interest, her tail twitching.
"You can see me," you whisper, and the little spec of your power disappears.
The cat meows in disappointment.
Carefully, you move closer to the bed, reaching out your translucent hand until you place it on Alpine’s head.
She rubs against your palm.
You chuckle incredulously, scratching behind her ears. "You little devil."
Alpine seems particularly pleased with herself. She starts purring.
This is simply bizarre, you think as you continue petting her soft fur. You’re expecting a sarcastic comment from behind your shoulder any minute now, but it doesn’t come.
So, you lower yourself down on the floor next to Bucky, the tips of your fingers not quite grazing his arm as you swallow heavily.
And then you wait until he gets up.
It’s possible, you think as you watch him leave and then make yourself wake up too, that Strange is simply messing with you for the hell of it. You don’t like the timing of this, though. Your day still continues on and on and on, like it always does, but it seems just a little too pointed that this would happen right after you had your first hopes of getting out of here in a long time.
It doesn’t help that the reality glitches have decided to return with a vengeance.
Every day is still July 4th. You wake up with a start, you train, you get coffee, you fight over lunch, you take your astral visit, you go on that damn mission. It’s the details that start to get … fuzzy.
In the beginning, every single thing around you was the exact same every single day. Now, though, there are sometimes details that are just wrong. A different mug left on the drying rack. A mess all over the tables in the lab. Weird noises all over the Tower.
You don’t know what to make of any of it, and so in general, you follow Strange’s rule of thumb and simply ignore the things that are wrong one day and then right the next—which, thankfully, is all of them. You just go with it, telling yourself that this is simply reality malfunctioning a little, like a machine that needs oiling.
Weirdly enough, that doesn’t reassure you in the slightest.
But what else can you do?
You lose a few hours here and there, time seemingly speeding up at random sometimes now. One morning, Bucky isn’t in the gym like he usually is, and you work yourself up over it so much you nearly have a panic attack. In the end, you almost crash into him outside of his room, and a rush of reassurance floods through you with such force you can’t even look at him.
That time, Sam is there when Bucky gets shot, and it’s his cry that follows you into the next day. Your hands are clean this time, and somehow that feels worse.
Everyone’s back to their usual stuff again, and that’s that.
Another time, you’ve barely rolled out of bed and into your bathroom—"Rise and shine, McFly!"—when you’re suddenly jolted forwards and you wake up with a start to the sun in your face and FRIDAY blasting The All-American Rejects at full volume. Your stomach feels like it’s still turning, nauseous, as if you’d sat up too fast.
That feeling still leaves a bad taste in your mouth, sticking to the back of your mind like the blood you haven’t even had time to wash off.
The thing that demands most of your attention, though, is the pile of books waiting for you in the astral realm. Since you don’t have any control over the loop itself, you pour all of your energy into trying to understand the theory behind your powers. It’s giving you a constant headache, and it takes a lot longer than you would like to admit, but at least you feel like you’re doing something that’ll last.
Nothing else will.
There’s one last lonely cup sat on the counter next to your own, which signals that the rush is over for now. You can see Lucy wiping her forehead as you wave your goodbye, picking up both drinks on your way out and handing one of them to the guy just hurrying back downstairs.
"Here you go," you say without stopping, glancing at your phone. You haven’t stayed this late before.
"What the—" you hear behind you, just before the doors glide open and you’re greeted by the sound of traffic and a hot breeze of air.
If you’re lucky, you can make it back to your room without anyone seeing you. You’ve moved on to a particularly hefty tome about relativity, and you’d like to—
"Hey! Miss? Hold on a second!"
You look over your shoulder to see the delivery guy has run after you, cup still in his hand. His bike is leaned against a lamp post nearby, his cap dangling off one of the handles.
You found out a couple of weeks ago that he takes his break just after dropping off your order, but you don’t usually make eye contact anymore.
Now, he holds out his cup accusingly. "That’s my drink."
You smile. "Good for you."
"No. No, that’s not—I mean—how did you know it was my drink?"
And because nothing really matters and you really want to go home, you say, "It has your name on it, doesn’t it?"
You expect him to look at you with wide eyes, just like people normally do when you know things you’re not supposed to. His mouth will drop open, speechless, his frown will deepen, and you can wink at him and continue on your way so he can spend the next couple of hours wondering what just happened.
The cup falls out of his hand, but somehow he manages to catch it before it hits the sidewalk. When he looks up at you again, and his expression is unlike anything you’ve seen coming.
"But that’s not …" he says quietly. "Do you remember me?"
And then it’s you who’s speechless, because the shock on Peter Parker’s face is more than you bargained for.
*****
"Honestly, I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this," you said quietly, looking over the rim of your glass at the crowd.
"You complaining?" you heard Sam’s voice say over the little earpiece you were wearing.
"Not at all."
Apparently, people connected to terrorist organizations threw incredibly fancy parties.
You hadn’t felt this glamorous in a while, if ever, dressed up to the nines in a dark green jumpsuit with an incredibly flattering cut that you’d never had a reason to wear before. Despite your initial doubts about this whole thing, you felt great, for the first time in way too long.
"Are you gonna move any time soon?"
Well. Mostly.
At least Barnes cleaned up nice, you supposed; it almost made up for his grouchy demeanor.
With a sigh, you downed the rest of your drink and got back to work. You let the crowd swallow you up, seemingly on your way to the restrooms, and then you stopped it all to slip upstairs unnoticed by prying eyes and cameras.
You didn’t hold it for very long; you had to rattle some doors, after all, and despite your espresso martini, it was still hard to tell if you could manage several redos back to back. After all, you’d only been back in the game for a couple of weeks.
It took you a few tries to find the right office, and locating the files was comparatively easy with what you already had access to. There it was, proof that ULTIMATUM had managed to secure most of the Flag Smashers’ previous supporters as well as some high brow weapon dealers.
While you copied everything onto a flashdrive, your eyes caught one of the designs. You frowned.
Even though you couldn’t pinpoint what it was, exactly, something about it seemed just slightly too highbrow for an organization of the international bad egg committee that was supposedly still mostly underground. Your gaze started drifting through the rest of the office, noting the usual boring books and glass awards in the bookshelves on the far wall. You pulled open one of the desk drawers.
"You almost done in here?"
"Fuck!" You slammed the drawer shut again, getting your pinkie stuck in the process. "Damnit, where did you come from?"
Bucky pointed over his shoulder.
"Fuck me," you murmured, your eyes stinging at the pain.
Bucky looked nonplussed. "Can’t you just undo it?"
"Great input, thank you." The flashdrive beeped softly and you shut everything down again. At least you were definitely sober now. "What are you, anyway, my babysitter?"
"Wouldn’t have to be if you could check in on time," he answered, checking the corridors, then nodding for you to follow.
"Time’s a social construct," you murmured, but followed him, the flashdrive hidden in your fist.
You didn’t even make it to the staircase.
"Didn’t I tell you?" a voice said right before several triggers clicked and you both froze. "I knew I’d recognized that arm. And who do you have with you here, Winter Soldier?"
No one, you thought, and then you yanked time backwards so forcefully you stumbled into the desk, your heart still racing. The copy sat at 57%.
You felt almost seasick with the rewind, but there wasn’t any time. "Keep going upstairs," you said into your earpiece.
"What?" Bucky said.
"I’m fine. Don’t come get me. Just keep going," you gritted through your teeth, trying to calm your breaths. 70%.
"Exit plan C, then," Sam said.
Bucky didn’t answer. You looked at your hands. There was a slight tremor to them, but nothing too bad. If you could get the nausea under control, you could probably make it past the cameras one more time.
You should’ve eaten more.
As soon as the flashdrive was done, you ripped it out and forced everything to a halt again. Your palms were sweaty as you hurried out of the office and in the direction of the staircase, your lungs burning. This didn’t feel like a good sign.
You stumbled over your damn heels and the noise returned for that moment you lost your concentration.
Not good enough.
Sweat pearled on your forehead as you and the universe held your breath again. You could feel your hold slipping with every second that wasn’t allowed to pass. Time was impatient with you.
A small crowd had assembled at the bottom of the stairs. As you closed in on them, you felt a jolt go through you and suddenly found yourself surrounded by people as time attempted to right itself again. Your nails dug into the skin of your palm so hard you could feel yourself draw blood.
It went quiet again and you moved through them, almost blindly. Everything seemed to be spinning.
Behind your shoulder, you could hear several people talking, interrupted only by the world stopping around them every now and then.
"—d’you—see that—"
"—could’ve—sworn there—”
And with time stumbling and flailing around in confusion, you made it out of the building and into the waiting cab.
chapter seven
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
{Elijah Mikaelson x f!Reader} Elijah takes you lingerie shopping, with plans to spoil you and savor every second.
♡♡ This is inspired by this anon message I received about Elijah buying you luxurious clothing... this is just pure sugar daddy Elijah wish fufillment ~ enjoy! xo ~ ♡♡
4.5k words - Warnings: smutt, lingerie, light dominance, oral (f!receiving), sugar daddy Elijah, Elijah being fussy, mildly possessive Elijah, lots of banter, a private fashion show, stockings, corsets, babydolls && garter belts...
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The air in the room buzzed with anticipation, your reflection in the mirror catching your attention as you fussed with the neckline of your dress.
“We are going to be late if you don’t hurry,” Elijah said, his tone calm but edged with mild impatience. He was waiting by the door, dressed impeccably in a three-piece suit, holding out your jacket to help you put it on. His voice was even, but the tap of his polished shoe betrayed his mood.
“I still can’t believe a lingerie boutique requires an appointment,” you grumbled, checking your appearance one last time in the entryway mirror. The faintest smirk tugged at Elijah’s lips as he watched your reflection fuss.
“The finest experiences always do,” Elijah murmured, stepping closer to rest his hands lightly on your hips. His chin came to rest on your shoulder, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror.
“You look perfect, as always,” he said, placing a kiss on your cheek before stepping back. The sincerity in his voice made your cheeks warm, a pleasant flutter stirring in your chest.
“If you say so,” you replied, letting him take your hand as you headed out the door.
"I do say so," he insisted, walking around to open the passenger door of his car for you. "I also say we are going to be late. We should have left five minutes ago."
You rolled your eyes at his insistence but hurried to get in the car. He closed the door behind you and quickly got in the driver's seat. The two of you were soon heading down the road. He placed his hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. You smiled and laid your hand over his, threading your fingers through his.
"Is this necessary?" you began, hesitating. "I mean... It's very sweet of you, but isn't it a little..." You trailed off, unsure how to put your thoughts into words.
"It is completely necessary. As my wife, you deserve the finest things life has to offer. Especially when it comes to your attire," Elijah answered, glancing at you before turning his attention back to the road.
"And that includes lingerie?" you asked, arching an eyebrow at him, a teasing smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
He gave a slight nod, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly.
"It is quite important, yes. There is a difference between wearing a piece of cloth and wearing a piece of art. The latter is what I envision for my beautiful wife." He replied, squeezing your thigh once more.
"So basically, you want me to look pretty for you?" you questioned, trying not to giggle at the sincerity of his words.
"You are always pretty. Even in a paper sack, you are stunning," he answered, his tone soft as he brought your joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of your hand.
"Oh, you are so smooth, Mr. Mikaelson. So very smooth," you said, shaking your head as you grinned at him.
"Only with you, Mrs. Mikaelson," he responded, flashing you his adorable crooked smile before he turned into the parking lot of a high-end shopping mall.
You let out a soft chuckle, rolling your eyes as you watched him find a parking space. Once the car was parked, you went to unbuckle your seatbelt. He was there in a blink of an eye, opening the car door and helping you out. He offered his arm, and you took it, linking your arm through his as the two of you headed toward the store.
When you entered the store, you were met with an employee who immediately took notice of the two of you.
"Mr. and Mrs. Mikaelson! Welcome. It is so good to meet you. We are excited to have the opportunity to help you today," the young woman greeted, her eyes bright as she ushered the two of you over to a large changing room suite with a leather sofa in the middle of the room.
"Please, make yourselves comfortable. We have water, coffee, tea, or champagne for you. Just let me know if there is anything else I can get for you. My name is Marisol," the girl said, gesturing to the table beside the sofa.
"Thank you, Marisol," Elijah said, giving her a charming smile. "Two glasses of champagne, please."
"Of course," she replied, returning his smile.
"Now, why don't you tell us about the collection you've prepared?" Elijah asked, sitting back on the couch, draping his arm around your shoulders.
He was such a natural in this sort of environment. His air of confidence was magnetic, almost disarming.
Marisol launched into a spiel about the latest collections the store had to offer, detailing the styles and fabrics used. She explained the benefits of each item, the best ways to care for them, and the importance of fit. You found yourself relaxing as her thoroughness seemed to match Elijah’s meticulous nature perfectly.
Elijah listened attentively, nodding along with her as he rubbed circles into your lower back. His steady presence grounded you, a subtle reminder that he thrived in moments where you felt unsure. You were thankful he was there because you had no idea where to start. This wasn't your thing, and he knew that.
When she finished speaking, she excused herself to get the items she had preselected for you. She returned with a rack of various styles and colors of lingerie, as well as some nightgowns and robes.
You stood and began to browse, while Marisol hovered close by. Elijah, however, made himself comfortable, taking the glass of champagne Marisol had poured for him and settling back into the couch.
"These are just samples, Mrs. Mikaelson, to give you an idea of the style and feel. Each piece is tailored for our clients, ensuring a perfect fit," Marisol said, giving you a warm smile.
"What do you think about this?" you asked, picking up a pale blue babydoll with a matching thong.
"It's a beautiful color. We also have a matching garter belt if you'd like to try it with stockings," Marisol suggested.
You looked at Elijah, raising an eyebrow. He nodded in approval, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly.
"I'll leave you two to browse. If you need anything, please let me know," Marisol said, disappearing out the door, closing it behind her.
Elijah watched her go before placing his glass on the table and walking over to where you stood, inspecting the babydoll.
"It's lovely," he murmured, placing his hand on your waist. His fingers skimmed the delicate fabric, testing its softness.
"I didn't know what to expect when you said you wanted to take me lingerie shopping," you said, leaning back into him.
"Well, now you know. And I intend to spoil you rotten," he replied, placing a kiss on your neck.
"Why?" you asked, turning to face him.
"Because I love you and I can," he answered, pulling you closer.
You giggled and shook your head, wrapping your arms around his neck.
"Is it really that simple?" you asked, arching an eyebrow.
"That simple and yet so very complicated," he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips against yours.
"You're impossible," you whispered, your voice barely audible.
"But you love me anyway," he said, giving you a smile. "Now, try on some of these beautiful things for me."
"Bossy," you mumbled, turning away from him.
He swatted your bottom lightly, a smirk tugging at his lips. You squealed in surprise and gave him a playful glare.
The first piece was a pale pink set, the bra made of lace, the panties barely more than a scrap of silk. You stood in front of a giant mirror, watching Elijah's reaction. His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide. He was silent for a moment, just staring at you, before he walked up behind you. He placed his hands on your hips, gently tugging on the straps of the bra.
"Perfect fit," he murmured, his tone low and approving. His fingers adjusted the straps with the precision of someone entirely too focused, as though inspecting art rather than lingerie.
"Do you think I should get it?" you asked, pressing back against him.
"I think you should get all of it," he replied, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear.
"'Lijah, that's literally thousands of dollars worth of lingerie," you whispered, feeling a flush spread across your cheeks.
"And worth every penny," he answered, his tone matter-of-fact, as though there was no other acceptable response.
You giggled and turned to face him, placing your hands on his chest. "Such a big spender," you teased.
"Only for the woman I love," he said, leaning down to capture your lips.
The kiss was soft and slow, his hands roaming your body, gently tugging on the fabric of the lingerie. He pulled back and smiled at you, his eyes bright with mischief.
"Now, show me more,"
It had been around a week since your delightful shopping trip. Elijah had insisted on buying you the whole collection, despite your protests. But secretly, you had enjoyed having him dote on you. It made you feel loved and cherished.
Now, the two of you were spending a lazy afternoon together, lounging on the couch. Elijah was reading, while you were cuddled up against his side, watching TV. It was a rare day where he was dressed casually, in a pair of dark jeans and a white t-shirt. But even his casual clothes were expensive and well tailored.
He had an arm wrapped around you, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing circles on your hip. The gentle motion was relaxing and you found yourself starting to drift off.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, jolting you from your near sleep state. You looked up to see Elijah smirking down at you, a knowing twinkle in his dark eyes.
"I think our order has finally arrived," he said, a crooked grin tugging at his lips.
"Orders," you corrected, giggling as he rolled his eyes.
"Semantics," he grumbled, placing a kiss to the top of your head as he rose to his feet.
He disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone. You sat up, stretching your arms above your head, a small yawn escaping your lips.
You could hear Elijah's deep voice mingling with the delivery man's. They were talking about the weather and other trivial things, making small talk.
Elijah reappeared a few minutes later, carrying a number or large boxes, stacked neatly in his arms.
"Looks like we got a bit carried away," he said, a smirk pulling at his lips as he placed the boxes on the coffee table.
"Maybe just a little," you replied, laughing softly.
He grinned and leaned down to kiss your cheek, before he opened the first box, pulling out the contents. You watched as he inspected the fabric, the soft material running through his fingers.
"Beautiful stitching, they don't make garments like this anymore," he commented.
He continued in this way, inspecting each piece carefully. His brow furrowed as he ran his fingers along the seams, testing the strength of the fabric.
You couldn't help but laugh, finding his intense focus on something as simple as lingerie adorable. He glanced at you, a hint of a smile playing at his lips, but continued with his task.
"Do you want me to try it on for you?" You asked, biting your lip to keep from giggling.
"Darling, why do you think I bought it for you?" He asked, the corner of his mouth twitching.
You giggled and shook your head, standing and grabbing the closest box. You took it with you, heading to the bedroom, the sound of his soft chuckle echoing behind you.
Once in the bedroom, you quickly stripped down and picked out the first piece that caught your eye, a deep green babydoll. The color was striking, complementing your complexion, and the fabric felt like liquid silk against your fingertips.
You slid the straps over your shoulders and adjusted the cups. The hem fell to just above your thighs, and the neckline was cut low enough to give him a good view.
You admired your reflection, twisting and turning to get a better look at the lingerie. The soft, delicate fabric felt incredible against your skin. It was unlike anything you'd ever worn before. Each stitch seemed to whisper luxury, and for a moment, you forgot about the price tag, lost in the sensation of feeling both elegant and utterly desirable.
A low whistle echoed through the room, causing you to turn around. Elijah was leaning against the doorframe, a crooked smile on his handsome face.
"Beautiful," he murmured, his dark eyes raking over your body.
"You don't look so bad yourself," you said, smirking at him.
"Why thank you, darling," he replied, sauntering over to you.
He placed his hands on your waist, gently turning you around so that you were facing the mirror again.
"This could be adjusted though," he murmured, tugging on a piece of fabric.
"What do you mean?" You asked, frowning at his reflection.
"Just a bit loose here," he answered, adjusting the straps.
"You are so picky," you teased, grinning at him.
"My tailor could probably-" He started, but you cut him off.
"Nope, no tailor. It's perfect," you protested, turning to face him.
"Are you sure?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.
"Positive," you replied, leaning up to place a soft kiss to his lips.
You splayed your hands on his chest, pushing him backward toward the bed. He smirked, his hands resting on your hips. When the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, he sat down, looking up at you.
"Sit and watch. No touching," you commanded, smirking as he nodded and obeyed.
You stepped back, turning around so that he could get a full view. You swayed your hips, teasing him, before slowly bending down. You grabbed the hem of your panties and slowly dragged them down, exposing your bare bottom to him.
You heard a soft groan from behind you and glanced over your shoulder, smirking at him.
"Which one do you want me to try on next?" you asked, biting your lip as you stood up, turning to face him.
"The white one," he murmured, his gaze heated as he watched you.
You sauntered over to the boxes and picked out the white corset. With his eyes glued to you, you slipped the garment on, the lace covering your breasts, the silk ribbon criss-crossing your torso. You tightened the ribbons, the corset squeezing your breasts and waist.
This piece also came with stockings, so you took your time, rolling the sheer white material up your legs, clipping them to the matching garter belt. Then you slipped on some white heels to complete the look.
Elijah’s sharp inhale was almost imperceptible, but the intensity in his gaze gave him away.
"I think this is my favorite," Elijah mused, his dark eyes raking over your body appreciatively.
"I can tell," you teased, glancing at the growing bulge in his pants.
He smiled and rose to his feet, walking over to you. His warm hands skimmed over the smooth material, his fingers deftly tightening the ribbons in the front. The way he handled you and the corset was equal parts calculated and reverent, as if you were a piece of art he was refining.
"I confess... I have a certain affinity for corsets," he murmured, his voice low. There was something almost wistful in his tone, as though the sight of you had awakened a long-buried memory or desire.
"Oh, I know," you replied, smirking as he pulled the ribbons tighter, making your breasts spill out the top.
His eyes darkened further, a flicker of hunger crossing his features. He hummed appreciatively, his lips ghosting over the swell of your breast. The heat of his breath was a promise, igniting sparks that danced along your skin.
"This one is perfect," he said, his breath warm against your skin.
"Glad you think so," you whispered, shivering as his lips trailed up your neck.
Elijah's hands continued their slow exploration, his thumbs skimming the delicate lace covering your thighs. You leaned into his touch, breath hitching as he pulled you closer. His lips brushed over your collarbone, featherlight and teasing, before his mouth found your ear.
“I’m beginning to think this delicate fabric might be too fragile for what I have in mind,” he murmured, his voice a deep rumble that sent a shiver down your spine.
You smirked, your hands sliding up his chest to rest on his shoulders. “And here I thought you liked to savor things.”
He chuckled softly, the sound reverberating through his chest.
"Oh, I do. But I occasionally like to devour," he said, his teeth nipping at your neck.
Your breath hitched, his words sending a rush of heat straight to your core.
"Then why don't you start?" You challenged, arching an eyebrow at him.
His dark eyes flashed with desire, a mischievous smirk tugging at his lips. Suddenly, he lifted you up and tossed you over his shoulder, the action causing you to shriek with surprise and your heels to fall off.
His hands rested firmly on your ass, kneading and massaging the soft flesh as he carried you to the bed. You couldn’t help but laugh, squirming against him as he playfully smacked your bottom.
He placed you gently onto the bed, his eyes roaming over your body. You looked up at your handsome husband, his hair falling in his face, his eyes dark with desire.
You reached up and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down toward you. Your lips met in a heated kiss, and his hands moved underneath you, cradling your lower back and pulling you closer.
You slid your arms around his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair. He groaned softly, pressing his forehead against yours. The weight of his body pressed into yours felt grounding, his strength wrapping around you like a shield.
You tugged his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. Your hands traced his bare chest, and down his arms. The muscles underneath your touch were hard and powerful, his skin smooth and warm. Even after years of being together, you always marveled at his strength and the power contained in his body.
"Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to not touch you as I watched you try on all those gorgeous pieces? Watching your face as you put on each garment... My patience is running thin," he groaned, the roughness in his voice making you whimper.
"I recall you doing lots of touching," you murmured, giggling softly.
"That's not what I meant, darling," he growled, his fingers hooking into the edge of your corset.
"Oh? Then what did you mean, Mr. Mikaelson?" you asked, tilting your head to the side.
His hands tightened on the garment, and you saw the threads start to pull away from the seams. You couldn't believe he would actually rip it off, not after all the fussing and adjusting he had done earlier.
You watched the material tear under his fingers, a gasp of shock escaping your lips. His hands tore the corset apart, spitting the expensive garment like tissue, exposing your naked breasts to the cool air of the room.
"Did you really spend a thousand dollars on something that you planned on tearing?" You asked, smirking up at him.
"Two thousand," he replied, leaning down to nip at your neck.
You giggled, your hands tangling in his hair as he kissed his way down to your breasts. He nipped at your nipple before taking it in his mouth, sucking and biting, drawing a soft moan from you.
His hands slid up your thighs, fingers brushing against the soft material of the stockings. His gaze flickered over to your legs, admiring the way the delicate fabric stretched across your curves. He had always loved the way a women looked in stockings, the way the sheer material clung to their thighs, accentuating every delicious inch of skin. But seeing you, his wife, wrapped in them... Well, he didn't think he would ever tire of that view.
"Such beautiful legs," he murmured, his hands skimming along your calves before resting on the inside of your thighs.
His eyes met yours as his thumbs brushed over your silk panties, rubbing gentle circles over your clit. He grinned at the way your face flushed, watching your eyelashes flutter as his fingers pushed them to the side. He teased your wet heat, circling your entrance before easing two fingers inside, pumping slowly.
A low growl rumbled in his throat when he felt you clench around his fingers. The way your thighs squeezed together made him desperate for more, made him crave the feeling of you wrapped around his cock.
"I love it when you squirm like that," he groaned, leaning down to capture your lips.
He kissed you hard and deep, his tongue sweeping across yours. You let out a soft protest as he pulled his fingers away, only to feel him push them into your mouth, coating your tongue with your arousal.
Your eyes met his, your heart hammering in your chest at the feral gleam in his eyes. His pupils were blown wide, the dark irises nearly swallowing the amber. Rarely did this rough, dominating side of him make an appearance, but when it did, it took your breath away.
You whimpered when his fingers left your mouth, watching him decide what to do next. Your breathing hitched as he hooked a finger around your panties, pulling the soaked fabric away from your skin.
There was a tearing sound and you gasped when he ripped them from your body. He grinned at your surprised expression, a smug look of satisfaction on his face.
You giggled as he tossed your panties over his shoulder, but the sound quickly turned into a squeal as his hands went to your hips before flipping you onto your stomach.
His hands traced the curves of your ass before moving between your thighs, fingers trailing up and down your slit, spreading your wetness around. Your hips rocked against him, seeking more of his touch. You couldn't help the breathless moans escaping your lips, or the way your body shivered in anticipation.
His lips ghosted over your skin, placing wet open-mouthed kisses along the column of your spine, moving lower and lower. Your hands curled into the sheets at the feeling of his tongue dipping in-between your cheeks.
He groaned at the taste of you, somehow made sweeter when you were clad in silk. He reached up and pushed your head down into the sheets, holding you in place, the way the bed sheets muffled your moans driving him wild.
Your mind went blank when he plunged his tongue inside of you, lapping up your wetness. He growled as he licked you clean, his grip on you tightening when you tried to squirm away, desperate for friction against your throbbing clit.
Suddenly, he smacked your ass, causing you to gasp and jump slightly. The sharp sting was quickly replaced by the warmth of his hand as he massaged your bottom. His thumb pressed against your clit, causing you to let out a soft sob of relief.
The pleasure was quickly becoming unbearable, his tongue and fingers working in tandem to send you over the edge. The sensation was overwhelming, your mind reeling and your body shaking from the intensity of the sensation.
You let out a low, shuddering moan as you came, your whole body quivering beneath his hands. Your breathing was ragged as you rode out your orgasm, your toes curling, thighs clenching together as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you.
When he finally stopped, you collapsed against the sheets, spent and breathless. You whimpered when you felt his lips brush against your ear.
"That was just an appetizer, darling," he whispered, the deep tone of his voice making your stomach flutter.
You could hear him unzip his pants, then the sound of fabric rustling as he kicked off his jeans. You turned to look at him, catching a glimpse of his hard, thick length before he grabbed your hips and pulled you onto all fours.
You both let out a soft sigh of relief as your bodies joined, his thick cock stretching you as he filled you completely. He rocked his hips, his movements slow yet firm, enjoying the feeling of your tight heat enveloping him.
He held you in place as he thrust deep inside you, his grip on your hips bruising. His hand coming down to smack your ass again and again, and the sound was music to his ears, causing his pace to quicken.
"I'm going to ruin every single piece I bought for you, sweetheart," he growled, his fingers digging into your skin. "Then we can go back and buy some more. Would you like that?"
"Yes, 'Lijah," you gasped, gripping the sheets tightly.
You moaned as he increased the pace, his movements becoming faster and harder, sending you crashing over the edge. He grunted as your walls clenched around him, pulling him deeper, making him see stars.
The room filled with the sounds of his grunts and your moans, the scent of sex heavy in the air. It was intoxicating, the way he moved, the way he controlled your body and the rhythm of his thrusts.
"I'm close, baby," he groaned, his voice strained. "I want you to cum with me."
He pulled you up, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you against his chest. His lips ghosted over your shoulder, his fangs sinking into your neck, his bite a pleasurable pain that pushed you over the edge.
He growled as you came, the taste of your blood driving him wild and he swiftly followed.
You were both still panting, his chest pressed against your back, his arms wrapped tightly around you. You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly.
He hummed softly, kissing your neck tenderly. His hands smoothed down your sides, his touch featherlight as he trailed his fingers across the lace trim.
"This lingerie really is quite exquisite," he murmured, his tone reverent.
"It really is," you agreed, giggling softly.
You relaxed against him, his body molded perfectly to yours. He gently helped you to your feet, before scooping you up and carrying you to the bathroom.
He turned on the water, letting it heat up as he peeled the remaining garments from your body, admiring each piece as he went.
Once the steam filled the room, he pulled you into the shower, the warm water cascading over both of you.
"Next time, we should go suit shopping," you mused, smiling up at him.
"Is that so?" He asked, grinning down at you.
"Mmm-hmm. You like me in stockings? I like you in a three-piece suit. A nice, tailored one," you purred, biting your lip.
He chuckled, pulling you closer. "Do you plan on tearing it off of me?"
"Maybe," you said, giggling as he pressed you against the tile.
"I suppose we'll just have to see, won't we?" He teased, smirking down at you.
"I suppose we will," you replied, grinning up at him.
You could hardly wait.
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