#i just wanted to explore the idea for the angst potential but damn it would explain so much

[blvcklizard]

I was going to treat this idea as an AU, but while making this post I realised it works out a lot better than I initially thought, so it's a theory now. Unless- disclaimer- it was mentioned that it did in fact happen in canon at some point and I either missed it or completely forgot, in that case it's more like an analysis. While I'm at it, major spoilers for Castti's story and Journey for the Dawn ahead. (Also under cut because it got a little ramble-y and stupidly long, I got carried away I'm sorry.)

Anyway. It would make so much sense if Trousseau encountered a shadow at some point?

The Castti/Ochette crossed path essentially explains that the shadow uses the darkness in your heart (which like, despite his characterisation, he had plenty of), so not only would he be absolutely weak to it (if even Castti almost broke down, someone who's already extremely unstable on that matter isn't holding up for two seconds here), it'd also explain why he lost his mind like that? Like, I can totally see Claude and the Book of Night twisting his idea of salvation, and he clearly wasn't the pinnacle of mental stability before either, but shadow influence playing into his insanity would make so much sense.

This could go two ways, either that the effects of the shadow put him under so much stress he just snapped, or that he was actually (partially) taken over by it, as we've seen, I assume, the shadow attempting to do Castti in her second crossed path chapter. I don’t like the idea of treating these two as entirely separate where one would be correct and the other not, realistically it's probably a mix of both, but for the sake of exploring I'll treat them as two different options.

The first one is probably more in line with canon, because it might as well be a side effect to the poison (rather than an actual shadow encounter). It's very heavily implied he experimented with it, so he probably came in contact with it too. There's no actual evidence that it affects the mind iirc (you could argue that Castti's amnesia/hallucinations fall into that category, but personally I don't think so) but if he repeatedly handled shadow energy, I can very well imagine it resonated with all the issues he already had. It would also explain the changes he went through from Castti's chapter 3 to 4. (This is a small detour but he seemed slightly more sane in her chapter 3, mostly regarding the way he acted towards Eir's Apothecaries/Castti. In chapter 3, he obviously still cared about them despite everything since he wanted to keep them out of the picture, and the scene where he leaves Healeaks is called something like "painful goodbye" [loosely translated as I'm not playing the game in English] too. Meanwhile in chapter 4 he's far quicker to see Castti as the enemy and doesn't try to explain his actions anymore.) This is actually relevant for my next point, which is another reason why I think both cases would likely coexist.

(I'm back at defending a part of his characterisation most people don't like, I'm sorry, it's something I actually love for multiple reasons. anyway) As for the "partial possession" approach, it would also explain the duality of his state. We see this a few times, but the most extreme example is the mid-battle dialogue during his boss, where he (rather explicitly) goes from "in a lot of pain and genuiely believes he's doing the only right thing" to "insane mass murderer" within a few lines. And sure, maybe he truly tried to convince Castti and realised it was pointless, but that doesn't seem in line with his previous actions. So I'm not talking about possession in the literal sense, but rather that two states of being coexist in his mind. On the one hand a part influenced by the book and his general instability, that genuinely believes all life is suffering and there's no other way out, and on the other hand the death-obsessed maniac that's influenced by the shadow.

I just think the distinction between his belief system and mental state is interesting, and if we assume it's true, it'd further support the idea that it has different origins. It'd "realistically" make so much sense too, as far as we can speak of such in this context lol. Claude and the book convincing him that murder is the kindest choice makes enough sense, but imagining his insanity as the result of shadow influence adds such an interesting layer to the whole thing, especially in contrast to Castti in light of her second crossed path chapter.

[inbarfink]

So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

[anglercrit]

I never was a fan of CherriSnake at all, mainly because the dynamic was just like the others: Fanservice.

None of these characters have the SPARK needed for me to ship them. I usually don't mind canon ships as I would with crackships. But I've recently gotten to the Demisexual Logic when it comes to shipping characters.

Like if a character has a few moments type deal. Or if it's a Dating Sim type deal where 3 integeral moments happen for me to consider "Hey, this is it. This is ENDGAME" but with Saint Repentious in Heaven (That was not an idea of mine, I wanna clarify his name was inspired by Journey of The Light and possibly others.) and Cherri in Hell. I don't think that CherriSnake is ever gonna be a thing.

It was just like Martha and Mayberry. Completely there just to go "There, you got your silly WLW relationship! Now shut up!" It feels like any remote relationships that doesn't consist of MLM or Gay is often the centerpoint of attention while the other letters of our rainbow is often sidelined for Men.

I mean, I myself is Orientated AroAce. The feeling of validation is wonderful! But the fact Viv does not give a damn other than to reuse plots from Yoai BL infuriates me.

This was not a main point of mine, as this is leading to an idea, I wanted to say my peace before introducing this.

I am working on a Hazbin Hotel Rewrite (It's commonly referred to as "Left To Rot" but the working title is Redeeming The Hotel AU or known as Hazbin: Rewritten.) currently, Sir Pentious is the main characters love interest (as with Husk) and the storyline is:

Main Character is not Charlie, as she eventually loses her "interest" in the Hotel, after being belittled, taking after her father.

This leads to the MC taking over as the actual owner/founder of the Hotel in her wake, attempting to try and help with regaining Charlie's hope.

The Hotel is called Happy Hotel, but as time went on, she refers it as Hazbin as she believes it was a space for "has beens" and not "want to bes"

So the way I had the MC know Sir Pentious was interacting as his "Guardian Angel" (Although at this rate, the MC was being created in the Angel Ethereal pool) she was his guardian angel. When she was left in Hell, and she meets with Sir Pentious he recognizes her which led to Husk getting jealous.

Poly, Husk x OC x Pentious?

ok I have a lot of thoughts here (dw all of them good) so I'll just bullet point this

I honestly REALLY like the dating sim approach- I feel like cherrisnake COULD have worked, I like the idea of pent trying to seem cool to impress her but it really did feel fanservicey. And Cherri being in Hell and Pentious in heaven has some angst potential but I doubt it'll be explored.

even as someone who admittedly enjoys some trashy gay romance novels, yea the way viv handles her gay relationships frustrates me. It's probably because she hypes up how good the gay rep will be and then just recycles Hayes code era stereotypes.

your rewrite seems neat! I like the idea of someone else trying to reignite that hope in Charlie- honestly instead of the war against heaven the season 1 finale being Charlie beginning to lose hope and the hotel gang working to convince her that a sinner COULD be redeemed would be a sweet moment. Also I'm all for poly relationships so hell yea

[mossi-dreams]

i've had like, ~ 24 hours to sit and process so here's what i liked and didn't like about kraven the hunter (the movie, ofc)

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT : BE WARNED

i'll start with all the things i liked

i LOVED every single aspect of the family dynamics. while i think they could've expanded on sergei's relationship w/ his mother, i think they made a safe choice to keep it vague like the comics did

piggybacking, sergei living in the place his mother used to take him & dimitri camping??? YES!! honestly i quite like his little setup ngl

dimitri's entire character arc. like- yes!! let him be evil!! honestly i was worried we weren't gonna get to see any sort of actual chameleon presence, but the end had me GAGGED. i was thrilled. fred did incredible

i can really tell where and when they pulled inspiration from in the comics, as someone who did actually read a good chunk of comics w/ kraven in them, i saw a lot of that inspiration in there and i was quite pleased ngl

i was rooting against nikolai the entire fucking movie ngl, i was DELIGHTED to see that man meet his demise

THEY GAVE SERGEI A FUCKING PERSONALITY!!! hot take but i get so bored of every single rendition of kraven having the same damn personality, like give us more than that!! you have so much to play with!! i loved seeing him cocky, but actually charismatic, and lowkey very haunted, especially by his mother, LOVED that detail. (i think sergei being much younger in this rendition, as an origin story, gave a lot more room to explore his personality before he really hardens as a character, and i'm glad they took that avenue)

THE FUCKING SNOW LEOPARD SCENE!!! i fucking lost it, i was laughing, giggling, silently screaming. that was the most cat/dog/pet dad thing EVER i needed more of that, actually.

i also enjoyed watching him be feral. the action scenes were pretty good imo

by the end of the movie, i (personally) 100% understood what atj meant when he said that this "wasn't going to end well" for sergei. he spends most of the movie trying to get back the only family that matters to him, only for his brother to turn on him after it all. THE ANGST. THE DIVIDE. THE CRUMBLE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. i loved to see it.

and ofc, my gripes about the movie

i wanted more calypso content, specifically i wanted more kraven x calypso content. you can't just introduce kraven's best love interest and then not use her as an actual love interest. ariana & aaron had SUCH chemistry on screen, i think there was a serious missed opportunity there

the list. they marketed kraven's list as being like, a focal plot point when it really wasn't???? it made up maybe a third of the plot and then forgotten

the movie kind of dragged a little imo bc it was confusing plot-wise. i feel like certain plot points were dragged out, and some plot points were not touched on enough. also a lot of trailer footage we saw just straight up wasn't in the movie?? where'd it go?? i wanted to see adult kraven in tears man what HAPPENED (j.c. chandor if you can hear me, release a director's cut idgaf how long it is just RELEASE IT)

honestly i think they just marketed this movie wrong. if they'd focused more (marketing-wise) on how sergei's relationship with his family ultimately sets him down his path of destruction, the movie would've been received MUCH better than it was

overall, i thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and i think they've left a good open end to explore this character in the future, and i HOPE aaron taylor-johnson will reprise this role in the future, he has such potential in this role and i would love to see more of him in this role, especially as kraven's story unfolds, involving spider-man AND kraven's own family, i want to see that dynamic explored so badly y'all have NO IDEA.

[dootznbootz]

Don't get me wrong, I hate the telegony with every FIBER of my being. HOWEVER!! I feel like there's so much yummy angst potential with Odypen.

Like?? Imagine Penelope holding Odysseus' dead body. And it reminds her so much of when he'd fall asleep in her arms, in their bed holding an infant Telemachus. Because little baby Telemachus wouldn't stop crying so he had to be held in his papa's arms :3

But he's still crying to this day,, crying in the background, sobbing, hugging his mother from behind as she's holding her dead husband. Her husband that she waited 20 YEARS for. Her husband that's literally been threw hell and BACK, yet who never gave up because he wanted to see HER and their SON!!

He could've stayed with Calypso, he could've stayed with Kirke, he could've. But he DIDN'T. And I know damn well the moment he came back, and she saw him, she SAW on his face he's been threw shit. And imagine that, imagine the pain of someone you love more than the Sun experiencing that. Imagine that, and they did all of that, to see you.

People undermine that Penelope loves Odysseus just as much as Odysseus loves Penelope. It's been 20 years. She had every right to assume he's gone or get remarried. But she didn't. She had faith the entire time.

And she waited so long, and he went threw so much, just for him to get killed by some borderline (Not fully) rapeling. That's so heart-wrenching.

And for Telemachus, who never even KNEW his father. To suddenly see him again, to see how happy his mother is, how happy he is. Just for some bastard he has to call his half-brother to kill him. Telemachus knew so little of his father, only the stories Penelope told him. And now, sadly, it'll stay that way.

Telemachus and Penelope would fucking despise Telegonus. They've been waiting so long for this man, and this man has waited and had to go threw so much. All three of them did not go threw all that just for Telegonus to kill him. I don't care if it was an 'accident'. It doesn't matter if the killer didn't want to do it, it matter's that the victim's family lost someone they FUCKING LOVED.

Penelope would NEVER marry Telegonus, and Telemachus would never marry Kirke.

But Odysseus death gives us some JUICY angst. I hate it. But good god it scratches that angst-loving part of my brain SO GOOD. 😼

Feel free not to answer since this is a rather long ask/ramble :'D And ye, take care Mad! <3

Oh, also, just so it's not ALL just angst, a few Penelope and Baby Telemachus headcanons/shenanigans? They mean the world to both Odysseus AND me 🥹

So, this is a really fun ask...But I don't think you're going to get the answer you'd like from me :')

As many folks know, I am a big lover of fluff and very soft stuff. I have angst but even then I would consider it more hurt/comfort in a way as I do plan for the "comfort" to be what's most important :) I also just think of "angst" as just the "something that makes sense storywise".

The Tele-GONE-y to me, is just blatent whump. Not really my cup of tea.

Also the Tele-GONE-y has the whole bullshit about Odysseus doing fuck all in random war, getting married and having children with a random af woman, before coming back to get killed. So that's just...ew. All of it is ew.

And I don't even like the idea of Telegonus existing in any form. At most, Telegonus would only exist in my mind as Polites' son. (not based on Epic at all. This Polites is my own special guy. He's my lil weird goober of my own design reeeeee) My dear friend thehelplessmortals is the only person who I feel explores it in a way that makes sense to me and seems canon.

As you put it into words:

"And she waited so long, and he went through so much, just for him to get killed by some borderline (Not fully) rapeling. That's so heart-wrenching."

And it's just TOO heartwrenching for me :') I can't do it. It's honestly such a horrifying scenario that I got nauseous the first time I heard about it. (that's not even getting into the gross out of character marriage circle and Odysseus fucking around away from his family)

For me, I cannot see Circe (my Circe definitely) as a mother regardless. She wasn't made for motherhood. Also Odysseus and her only have sex once in my writing in exchange for his men to be turned back into humans. (as it's only stated explicitly once in the Odyssey)

The Odyssey also says that Odysseus' line only has one son each. That's Telemachus. (OdyPen can have a daughter though! >:3 Girldad Odysseus is very tasty for me)

If you're just into the angst of Odysseus' death, I got a bit of that though :'D

Penelope being 75% Naiads will live a long life. And Odysseus, being her husband, gets the advantages of having a magic Water wifey and that affects him in how he will live a long life as well (Calypso also gave him ambrosia/nectar to keep him alive. as he was nearly dead when he washed up.)

BUT. He is mostly mortal. He lives way beyond what is normal for Mortals but still.

His hair now fully gray. His breathing raspy and slow. He's slow to move...

Penelope lives a bit afterward. Sleeping and taking comfort in their nest that cradles her as she sleeps. She feels him everywhere. She grieves him endlessly.

Their nest starts to wilt. Only when she goes too does it come alive again.

And for some random Penelope and Telemachus headcanons :P

Nereids have lined bioluminescence, while NAIADS have spots. Like the black spots on the beloved rainbow trout 🥹 (they don't have the black spots. they just have spots that glow in their own control lol)

Telemachus gets "spots" from both his mama (naiad scales/glowbit) and his papa (freckles) 🥹

It's what they use to communicate underwater. And it's nice because even if you're not full naiad and don't have as many scales, you can still communicate as it's about the flickers :3 (Odysseus can understand these to a degree)

Very rarely do they "just randomly glow" as you know, don't wanna give away your thoughts. But it's cute because Odysseus will occasionally have a lightshow when one of them is dreaming.

I know a lot of people have Penelope see Odysseus in Telemachus constantly, and while she does to a degree, she is actually one of the few people who really emphasizes that he's his own person. You don't have to be good at whittling, you make such beautiful pottery. You like green, not orange. You don't have to pick that color when it's not your favorite and because other people simply get excited about you being like your dad sometimes. That type of stuff.

You take care too, Dear Anon! :D

[autumn-sweet-fae]

I love Tears of the Kingdom so much you guys. I cannot wait too watch all the art and stories pour in!

Also, cause I just wanna add my two cents, I’m loving what we got on the Zora in this game.

Sidon, my best boy, betrothed to a new princess who is so damn cute! But also the drama that can be found in the stone tablets that reveal Sidon’s true feelings; that he’s always seen Yona as a sister and that this marriage was arranged.

Like, the angst potential here! And if we go best case scenario, the lavender marriage idea, the added drama at the idea that Yona was perhaps in love with Mipha and once believed they might one day be betrothed to strengthen their kingdoms bonds.

But then she died, and Yona later learned the princess had been in love with another.

This would add a whole new layer to her wanting to take care of and repair the Zora armor for Link!

Also the pressure to keep up appearances with the domain and how long it might take before Yona or Sidon confess that they can’t pretend/lie to the other. The two genuinely loving each other platonically and wanting to support the other and keep their people safe.

I hope this angle gets explored in fanworks! I’m so ready for the zelink/Sidon & Yona polycule!

[ghouldump]

HIIII I was wondering if you have any writing tips?? I’m in awe of your work and you make it seem so easy!! Don’t feel obligated to help if it’s too much to ask I just would love to know!!

hey, yes, of course, i'd love to help 🩷 i would assume every writer may have their own way, but i’ll give you a rundown on what has helped me:

— music to set the tone. this is more personal; i love music and i listen to anything, as long as it sounds good. during this time, is usually when i decide if i will do angst, fluff, etc and a general idea.

— imagination. this is the fun part, i’ve joked about maladaptive daydreaming, but i was kind of serious (lol). you have your general idea from the music, and you can start imagining how you want things to go.

— turning the vision into words. this part can be frustrating, but you don’t have to have everything figured out, starting writing. beginning to form the same imaginative thoughts into words.

— grammar checking. i think it is helpful to have something like grammarly to try to fix as many errors you can spot, or if you want to improve your wording.

— limitations can be well limiting. i think one of the most important tips, i would say is, don’t limit yourself, especially if you plan to write something as interesting as gothic horror. not only should you find the beauty within these characters, but darkness. if i’m writing about vampires, the scariest thing they could is not just drink from a mortal, but could potentially be as sinister as you allow because they are literally damned.

— fiction is fake at the end of the day. no matter the fandom, you don’t have to stick to an exact plot. you could easily make up anything with your desired characters because, in the end, it is all fake. (example, lestat is a human explorer, on a voyage for treasure when he discovers the beautiful newly crowned king of the fae, louis)

— patience. the draft option is like my best friend (lol) sometimes you will only have an idea of what you want to write about and sometimes you will take days to come up with something, so give yourself grace and have patience because there will be times when you can't think of anything to write.

— comparison is the theif of all joy. lastly, i struggled with this years ago, when i first started. worrying about my mutuals who also wrote, this or that, because i felt like they wrote better, had a better plot, or had more interactions. however, as i continue to write, i fall in love with the craft more and more, so much so that while i enjoy to read others writing, i can appreciate my own. all of my fics that have the least votes are my favorite, while the ones that have done well, i didn’t like too much.

i hope these tips are helpful for you, and if not, then i hope that you are able to find your own methods. you can do it! you think of your idea and let it flow from your brain as you type it. as easy as it looks, i still struggle with things, one of them is becoming deeply emotionally invested in my stories, and depending on the genre i am writing, i am left feeling gloomy, angry, frustrated, etc. feel free to message me again, if you have anymore questions, because i don’t mind helping in the slightest. 🩷

[writing-frenzy]

The Kinda/sorta SI!Aizen Sosuke Isekai AU

because my brain has been blessed with works from cywscross/cheshiresense, like the Ichigo and Aizen Time Travel AU, and the amazing I (Not) Aizen Sosuke by Williamcipher, I'm gonna half-hazardly note this idea out because I can not write bleach fic to save my life.

--------------------------------------

So, first things first; why is this only sorta SI!Aizen Sosuke?

Because, this is technically Aizen Sosuke, just a parallel from a modern universe and because the thought of a Milennial!Aizen makes me want to fucking cackle like a banshee. Like, Sosuke is still a tricky, nasty little genius, but he's actually had therapy and the internet to get any teenage angst and black history out. (Which he denies ever having, like a lair) And yes, He has suffered Retail, so he can and will be the fakest bitch you ever did see, the customer service smile never forgotten despite how he wishes he could. He's had to grow from a life of poverty, clawing and reaching for everything he's had, but he's also had the public library and some really damn good teachers to have his back, an actual safe place for him to fall back too.

(Amazing, what a difference it makes.)

So, as a kid, Sosuke practically read everything he could get his grubby hands on, partly to better himself, partly an escape, when he came upon his library's selection of comics and manga; he found a certain series; Fullmetal Alchemist.... Just, imagine this young, little genius reading such a book at such a young age; think of how he would react to such twists and chills this story brings, and how it unknowingly shaped him. (how it inspired him).

This started a very big, very large rabbit hole for the kid; he could not get enough after that; which, in the end, leads him to a manga called Bleach. He ends up enjoying it, not as much as Fullmetal, but the story does peak his interest, from Ichigo's charisma, to even side characters like Gin's treachery and Urahara's puppetry. it is a fasinating story in it's own right, even as the villain, Aizen both intrigues him and frustrates him.

Like, his motives and ambitions, along with his skills should not make such a fucking flat as depth character! Where is character depth, why does he fucking monologue so damn much? Why not explore the sense of loneness that Ichigo saw, especially once we reach the Qincy War and he still sided with SS? Sosuke would like a little more justice for a character with so much potential and shit, a villain through and through, and yet one of the greatest helps at the end.

(We do not mention the Bleach Epilogue, and it's not because Sosuke ships Ishida and Inou, nope, it just doesn't exist, out of spite out of mind. why does he ship it? because why not :D)

So, for this relatively self-adjusted Aizen Sosuke, he suddenly dies one day, only to find due to certain circumstances, (I'm gonna say a certain wishing rock, his soul being distantly connected, wrong place wrong time, shitty luck, and his death not actually be an accident >_> how energy can not be destroyed or created technically, so it attached to his soul) Sosuke finds himself kinda sorta before what might be the Soul King(?) and he's gonna have to be born as Bleach!Aizen Sosuke cause funky things happened across dimensions, and it's either this or have his soul shredded in unbearable agony.

Sosuke:... So what, I become a Shikigami and get guaranteed a one way ticket to hell the minute I die? Soul King: Not if you play your cards right; but yeah, the Visored still need to be a thing, so have fun figuring that out :D Sosuke: Fuck. You. *so starts his Tries to figure out a way to fucking change the whole Soul King system so the Captains and such don't have to became hellspawn the minute they die and how to create Visored consensually*

So yeah, Aizen Sosuke is a pretty different animal in this world; He still has the damn Customer Service smile, because it has become a very important tool in survival among those damn annoying nobles, is a bit snarky tho but very, very rarely because corpal punshiment with whips and such is actually still a thing here and people do get so very nasty because they can with Outer Rukongai Trash as he is called.

But it's so pathetically easy to find souls and such that willingly let them be experimented on if it means their families get fed or they don't die in the cold. the only illusions Sosuke uses is to disguise himself with or erase memoires of conversations if the soul choses not to be experimented on. Otherwise, Sosuke is brutally honest in what he's doing, what can happen to the soul, and what it can cost.

(It's kinda understandable, that other Aizen Sosuke's ambitions, with just how fucking many take him up on that offer so fucking willingly, some even happy with it.)

So things happen, Sosuke really doesn't want to create a certain death marble, but the way things are going it's looking like it, seeing as he is nowhere near close to his goals. (He thinks of such a thing, this Hogyoku, thinks of just how many suffered for it, how it twisted a version of himself, the temptation of twisted promises, and this man can't help but hesitate, uncertain of temporing with such things beyond him. He might be a version of Aizen Sosuke, he might be made up with twisted ambitions and his own greed, Rukongai chewing him up and spitting him out into something that will survive, letting him see just how deep his inner demons are... but as he is parallel, there are lines he will not cross.)

So, Sosuke on a whim and coffee withdraw, (with nightmares haunting his feet and dreams, screams and blood seemingly drenching them) sees if he can maybe at least get along with Urahara Kisuke. After all, he's pretty sure he won't get the worst case scenario, with the man plotting his downfall one step at a time at least.

(It is the start of the best and worst relationship anyone in Soul Society has ever seen; Like, 95% of SS thinks these two are just really intense, hateful rivals who get under each other's skin like no one else can, concerns about how the two spar really rough with each other, people guessing if anything they must have had hate sex at least once because of battle high. the startled concerns with how their debates are rough and harsh, their Rukongai language actually coming out as they argue and growl at the other even as they smartly trash the other sides pro's and cons, only to get served a minute later.

The remaining 5% is split between groups who think the relationship is like the worst married couple ever, you think they're on their way to a divorce any minute now, with maybe a concern of toxicity. But the other part, with maybe one or three people who have actually looked at this relationship, really look and realize; oh... so that's how love can look like too... huh.

Because for these two broken, bloody men showing the world they have something they care about, something they treasure and love is never a smart thing; it only gets it stolen from them or tossed aside. So all their gentle touches, soft words, the domestic bliss of Sosuke able to cook and serve a little tea on the side as Kisuke rambles with bright eyes about his favored project at the moment, of just holding the other close as they sleep after rough missions and nightmares; this is only to be had behind closed and reinforced doors so they don't risk this person who they world destroy worlds and more for) But that is later; much later; for now, the two are snarky besties who take pot shots at each other but will mentally screw with others who would say shit about the other.

And then... the thing that Sosuke has been trying to do, the Hollowifcation that he has been struggling to reach all this time, has been failing at... is done; not by him, not by any scientist or some such, but i'm gonna say it was a means to save him and a few others from a fate worst then death or something, Kisuke desperate to do so.

Yes, this does in fact mean We get a Visored!Aizen, cuz why not :3 not to mention, with maybe a few different Visored with maybe a couple still the same. (Kaien and Gin would be interesting in my opinion, with maybe Shinji not actually a Visored in this world, maybe Lisa either if we want to trade seconds of the squads :3)

So yeah, exile happens still, no one hunting them down because the only search parties that would be allowed for them would be assassinations and such, and no one wants them dead besides assholes.

Things happen, things go differently, and in the end Aizen Sosuke, as a soul outside the cycle of reincarnation, one touched by so many different energies, has been both corrupted and become more, with a power and sword that can warp reality, he can touch the throne and not become unmade, can use it for his goal, in return for his own sacrifice

Of course, this is Sosuke; his back up plans have back up plans; so, he goes Isekai protagonist, finding himself in post canon bleach without knowing it, pretty powerless if you didn't count his mind and that he still has his sword, just forced to forget their name and his power cut in half (he's built himself up from nothing twice already, what's once more with some perks and it's not like he won't be able to remember their name; on another note, all his respect for all the sheer bullshit Ichigo had to go through after the winter war).

Of course, Sosuke isn't going to go through this alone; nah, urahara and his fellow visored are like "you're not getting rid of us that easy So-kun :) " and of course others will join in, because they are rebel or die together.

So, all these alternate versions in post canon, what havoc will they cause? A lot; some interactions I want:

Sosuke is injured and past out when canon first finds them, because of the newest villain of the week got lucky and so we have a blood thirsty Kisuke ready to destroy everything, cold blooded and still unlike he usually shows the world. Hijinks happens when all three groups clash, bonds happen, pretty sure the Ichigo effect comes up once or twice as the two groups work together against the enemy flavor of the week, so it's pretty late when peeps realize; wtf, why is an aizen here?

On Sosuke's part; wakes up, bleary-eyed, blinks, takes in a scene before him that is probably a bit ridiculous, before he turns his back to it and goes right back to sleep: I reject a reality where there are two Urahara's :T

Sosuke: ... why am I surrounded by children? *generally confused by ducklings he has unintentionally gathered by being honest and snarky and a really damn good teacher* Kisuke: *laughing not realizing at first that those are now his ducklings too*

Like, a movie night I want to happen, Sosuke and Kisuke starting it because nightmares and trauma, only for Ichigo and other to join in somehow, it becoming a bonding event.

People finding out about how Sosuke ended up being forced to be reborn in a manga and have no choice but to make Visoreds or have his soul stuck in a cycle of constantly being shredded and tortured, but actually trying to make it as safe and willing as possible. Kisuke: WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ME, I COULD HAVE HELPED!!! Sosuke: WHAT DO YOU MEAM WHY DIDNT I ASK, OF COURSE I WON'T, WHO'D BELIEVE FLAMING BULLSHIT LIKE THAT!? I BARELY BELIEVE IT AND I'VE FUCKING BEEN THROUGH IT!

Sosuke: *Been through the worst day possible, almost died, his people he actually has positive emotions for almost died, made it through with a little more trauma." ... Fuck it. *Kisses his boyfriend, uncaring who sees.* Post Canon Characters and others: *Jaw dropped, choked sounds, sputters, and money and bets exchanging hands*

Sosuke to Canon!Aizen:... You can not tell me you have not wanted to pin Urahara to the wall and stab him a little as you kiss him; I know myself well enough.

And welp, here it is, ask me questions if you want or if anyone gets inspired, let me know!

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

[eemamminy-art]

Author Interview

Tagged by @allaganexarch!! 😊

Long post with many questions below the cut

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Somehow... I have 50?? Wild to me, but I suppose I have had the account for 10 years so maybe that's not so strange.

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

142,785. I don't know if that's a lot or not, I tend to just write short oneshots because it's all I have patience for lol

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Anything that catches my interest really haha most of my fics at this point are FFXIV but.. so is most of my art, it's kind of had me in a chokehold for the last 6 years

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

(all of the following are explicit btw, be careful if clicking the links. Just mind warnings and tags thanks :3)

Licking Wounds - FFXIV (Estinien/Aymeric) - 247 kudos I want to chock this up to just the fact that I wrote it in 2018 when there was next to nothing in the ship tag lol. After I wrote it I started writing a lot lot lot more (in longform rp mostly and then moved onto fic) and I feel like everything else I've written afterward is so much better!! It kind of irks me when people have said it's their favorite estimeric fic of mine, because it is far and away my least favorite thing I've written for the ship.

Say my name - FFXIV (Estinien/Aymeric) - 204 kudos This was honestly like my attempt 2 at the story I wanted to convey in Licking Wounds, but it's 10000% better please read this one instead 😂 Both this one and the previous one are meant to be the inception of their relationship immediately following the Through Fire and Blood canon short story.

Sleepless Night - FFXIV (Estinien/Aymeric) - 185 kudos I sort of revisited the idea in this one later too (Chipped Porcelain), but I'm still not 100% satisfied with it so I may return to this idea in a third fic one day. I do like it for the fact that it's not set during Heavensward, which was a first for me at the time! I love stormblood and as little of a role as Aymeric and Estinien have in it, I really really liked the tiny mentions of them and wanted to expand on it. They have so few scenes in 4.0 and 5.0 that it leaves a lot of room open for exploration of their relationship at that time!!

Long distance - FFXIV (Estinien/Aymeric) - 151 kudos I don't think on a technical/creative level I enjoy this fic much since I wrote it really quickly without much editing, but I love it in the sense that it was one of the first things I wrote while coming out of this notion that post-HW Estinien and Aymeric are exes/do not like each other/have beef/etc. That's a popular fanon for them based on how they interact in 5.X and 6.0 especially but I can't stand it and it frankly makes me really sad! It clicked for me that they could just have a long distance relationship and that suddenly opened up my eyes to all the potential stories they could have outside of the context of pre-canon or 3.X.

Vigil - FFXIV (Estinien/Aymeric) - 130 kudos This one was kind of a sequel to Licking Wounds actually, or at least I made reference to it in there! Kind of me facing my old writing that I didn't like very much. I feel a little embarrassed rereading this one because it's really shmoopy but that's kind of my style when I create anything so I should probably just embrace that!

5. do you respond to comments?

I try but I feel so weird about it!! 😭 I probably should at least say "thank you" but it feels like not enough when someone sends me some long thoughtful comment, so then I end up letting them sit and be like.. damn I should reply to this... I really appreciate every comment I get, it's just that I am not very confident in my writing and struggle to accept praise for it I think.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

No one ever said it would be this hard, I think is probably the angstiest one! I love angst but I love it in the sense that it amplifies the relief of having a happy ending follow it. This fic though I wrote during a really bad time in my life, and after I had felt kind of betrayed by a video game character who had been giving me some comfort back then 😂 I had lost my parents in 2013 and 2014 and found a great outlet for my grief in Fallout 4, particularly with Shaun and with Piper, and it felt like a gut punch that despite romancing her Piper was NOT on board with reuniting our little family lol. In hindsight uh no kidding she wasn't, but at the time I was like wow how could she do this to me!! 😭 So I wrote this little tiny ficlet on a fucking napkin on my break at work on Christmas Eve that year, since I was already sad anyway I thought, let's just wallow in this shall we? And then I transcribed it after I got home later.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I usually write happy endings so it's hard to decide. I think Benevolence probably stands out the most to me though, because it's a happy ending for Zenos which is something I crave every hour, every day, every week, since I played Endwalker 😂

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not to my face, though I've come across some subtweets about my lesbian au stuff quite a few times. I did get a weird anon hate on ao3 the other day though that sounded like a high schooler wrote it 😂 I just turned off anon comments though because I don't need people wasting my time to tell me they didn't like something I wrote

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

On occasion.. <:') it's always really romantic though, I love stuff that really focuses on emotional bonds and senses and just the intimacy of it all. I do find that people tend to like my works better when I dip into more raunchy stuff, but it's really rare that I have any desire to write smut like that.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

So... okay idk if this counts, but my ex-gf and my ex-bestfriend and I had this LJ community where it was like a multi-universe rp but the rp was like, these random characters all writing on the same forum and being insufferable to one another 😂 it was so stupid but it was a lot of fun at the time!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, but I've had my art stolen quite a lot of times.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Or at least, it's been asked of me! I don't know if they did it in the end or not. I think it was for some of my estimeric fics? I was asked on twitter if it would be okay to translate it into chinese, since there is evidently a decent community for the ship with chinese fans!!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not exactly, though my partner gives me a lot of ideas for things to write or draw, and I've been helping my friend brainstorm a lot for a series they are working on!

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

As if I could pick just one!! 😩 Well I think in recent years it's been obvious I adore Estinien/Aymeric, Fordola/Lyse, and Zenos/WoL (specifically meteor but other wols are also good sometimes, depends on the wol though). They all make me really happy.. I do a little finger touch and have a little giggle when I see them.. 🥺

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I think if I were to finish it, I would go back and redo it entirely, but I had a wip that I'd just barely started about Aymeric meeting Thordan face to face for the first time. I don't really want to go into much detail beyond that, but I really loved the concept and have wanted to go back and work on it for years, but I think I built it up too much in my head about how perfect I wanted it to be. But maybe someday!!!!

16. what are your writing strengths?

Characterization and specifically internal monolog/descriptions from character POV.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Dialog, especially when it comes to the fantasy ye olde english type of dialog, too much repetition and too much simple language. Run on sentences, like uh all of this post lmao.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it would be cool!! I speak like the most simplest amount of a second language so I don't think I'd be able to do it for a long time unless I had a lot of help, but I like the concept of it! I wanted for a long time to draw a short original lesbian comic and put out versions in both english and polish, but at this point the idea I had for it is a little too simple and my inspiration for it is a little too dim, but maybe one day I will attempt it!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Probably either Inuyasha or Ranma 1/2, when I was like.. 12 or something 😂 If we're counting just what's on my ao3 though, my first fics were for Deus Ex (set somewhere between human revolution and the first game) though I have since orphaned them because I'm no longer comfortable with them.

20. favourite fic you've written?

I don't think I can narrow it down to just one!!

A port in a storm is without a doubt my favorite character study of Estinien pre-canon. It's in my lesbian au so it's not exactly how he would be, he's perhaps even more averse to other people in this universe, but it's I think a great example of his kind of frightened cat with their hackles raised demeanor. Plus it portrays really well the dynamic I love between Estinien and Aymeric, and also butch and femme identities.

Bewitched is another favorite, because it's another sort of character study but this time for Zenos. I really really liked the idea of Garleans being culturally conditioned to fear magic due to their inability to use it, and I liked exploring that in this fic, of making the warrior of light be terrifying and thus exceptional and noteworthy to Zenos, just for the fact that he's a healer.

Just Listen is probably the longest fic I've written both in terms of actual length and in terms of time I spent actively writing it. It was my way of working out my unhappiness with how the relationship between Aymeric and Estinien changed in canon while still trying to keep it relatively canon-compliant! It also was my way of showing just how complicated and messy they are, but unlike other fics I've read about the same sort of topic, I opted for love to triumph over all. If FFXIV has taught me anything, it's that even the worst and most hopeless of times and lowest of lows in relationships can still find happiness in the end with enough love and determination. 💛💛💛

Thanks for reading all this rambling if you did!!! I don't usually like to talk about or even acknowledge my fic so this was a good exercise in doing that. :3

Tagging: @4th-make-quail @notapaladin @salmonking @lesbxdyke @mariyekos @grahatini @randomsquirrel @sherribon @ladyramora and anyone who saw this and thought "hey, this looks like a lot of fun!" :3

[spider-stark]

i’ve been plagued by the idea of harry with a bubbly heiress (think london tipton but maybe with a little more depth). he knows she’s not using him for money and despite the confident facade he really doesn’t know what she sees in him. their personalities seem completely opposite and the tabloids absolutely eat it up. harry does his best to keep everything private in fear of it all falling apart. for the first time possibly ever, he feels loved and he’ll be damned if that gets ruined by the prying eyes and rumors. this is all i have so far but i needed another harry girlie to suffer through the visions with me.

okay this gives off major grumpy/sunshine trope energy and im always on board for that!

but no, i genuinely really love the idea of this? especially because i feel like it’s often overlooked in a lot of fan fics that harry osborn would be a very prominent figure in the media given his family legacy! so just exploring the concept of harry attempting to avoid the “prying eyes and rumors” in an effort to protect this relationship that is so precious to him? it’s an aspect of harry’s life i feel like rarely ever gets explored and has so much potential!

plus you make a good point in saying that harry would likely struggle with understanding what she sees in him. again, as i’ve said a million times in my life, most of harry’s arrogance is likely a defense mechanism and less of a genuine belief. he’s been shown time and time again that he’s not somebody worth keeping around, so having this person that is the complete opposite of him show up and actually want to be with him? i think it would throw him through such a loop! knowing that she doesn’t want him for his money or his social status would probably be such a conflicting thing for him, because while it would be a breath of fresh air for poor harry, it would also be incredibly confusing because no one has ever just wanted him.

so much could be explored in this!! there are so many aspects of his character that could be brought to light!! there are quite literally infinite possibilities for how this could go, ranging from tooth rotting fluff to some serious angst, and i love that so much.

if you write this then i need you to tag me. and also please always feel free to send me any and everything relating to harry lmao talking about harry osborn is one of my few joys in life<3

[gojonanami]

!!! can't believe you published chapter five !!!

it was so good !!!! i loved the angst so much xxx it was delicious xxx from the break-up scene, to the scene of suguru thinking on his actions and still watching his love walk away, and lingering by the window long after she's gone, to her coming back, and crying, and dreaming of suguru... just... so incredibly sad, but you wrote it in such a compelling manner, and i was sold wholeheartedly, and i just found the engagement party dream to be so heartbreaking, especially with the ring and the flower and the kiss... my gosh, it was so sad

and i have to have, fine, i'll admit it, but i actually liked yuta in this chapter??? like, he was sweet, and he respected her boundaries, and he wanted to be her friend first and foremost, and he supported her, and they got along well, and their progression felt natural. yes, yuta likes her more than she likes him, but that's believable, and their relationship, in this story, feels believable, and, i think, you established the idea that suguru and reader will end up really well because yuta's a clever guy, and he's perceptive, observant and caring, and he noticed how her smile and her face lights up when she talks about suguru because that was her love, her soulmate and her other half... even though yuta wants to be with her forever and even though heartbreak will await him, somehow, i can see them becoming and staying friends after their break-up?? and in a way, i think that's actually really precious?? staying friends with and still caring for the person you used to be in a romantic relationship with. i don't think it's an angle that many people explore, but i think there's a special kind of tenderness that comes with it.

and the ending? damn, that was a good cliffhanger to end the chapter on!!! suguru being her thesis adviser?? my god, what a cliffhanger!! but also, i feel like it really nicely links to all the ways in which the other chapters ended, too. and it felt like the right way in which to end this chapter!!

i presume suguru agreed to do this because he cares about her, even though his job is super hectic. i don't know about you, but in my university (which, i'll admit, is a famous and prestigious one), the department is in absolute shambles, and it's so incredibly hard to run it and our head of department is so awful that, sometimes, the former head of department who stepped down to take care of her children has to save the day because everything is literally absolute chaos. i can just... i can just imagine that what suguru has to deal with is a lot, and in, in my experience, sometimes those higher-ranking professors just have so many responsibilities that they don't reply to emails or give minimal feedback or even unhelpful feedback because they have a bigger fish to fry, but someone like suguru, despite all of this, would still try to make a huge effort for his students, and even though he broke up with his love, and even though he might feel embarrassed by it, he overcame that embarrassment in order to do what's right for her, and that is help her, and provide her the support she needs considering yaga can't do it, and not leave it in the hands of people who may potentially not care, and which may result in her not doing as well as she could have simply because she didn't get the support that she needed. which is why, for me, it was so touching that he left her with lots and lots of feedback for her dissertation. i think that says so much about a person. i've had a supervisor before who left me with barely any feedback for my dissertation, basically saying that i'll be 'fine' because i've got a good head on her shoulders, and it was such a disappointment because i expected a university like that to provide me with much better support and encouragement. so to see a supervisor/adviser who offers a lot of feedback is such a big thing to see because, theoretically, they could've just left a five to six sentence paragraph at the end and left it at that. but no, he didn't – instead, he meticulously read through her thesis, scrutinised sections, and went through the whole thing, and read it and reread it in order to make sure that she does her absolute best. i know it's a small detail, but, for me, it says so much about suguru.

i really liked this chapter. i adore this series. i think you're super talented, and i'm so happy that i could've been on this awesome journey. i'm so looking forward to chapter six!! in the meantime, please take care of yourself, have fun, get enough sleep, food, etc. xxx

🥹🥹🥹 this means so much babe -/ I’m so glad the scene with suguru went over well because I was definitely channeling ‘champagne problems’ when writing that whole scene. I feel for both him and reader — and I’m glad I portrayed heartbreak well 💕😭

I honestly love yuta so much and that’s also why I feel so awful for what I’m gonna do to him next haha. I think I definitely had to show he is the standard (as he is in the source material 🥹). I definitely think they will stay friends but it definitely will take both of them some time, especially yuta.

that ending came at me like lightning and it felt so perfect, especially with how it fit in with how all the other chapters did. And I can’t wait to tie it all back together especially how their relationship is now going back to its roots in a sense.

you got it exactly right along with some other factors I’ll be exploring in part 6 but I’ll say that much — you’re spot on!! no I completely feel that — for my first undergrad thesis, I had one advisor who was like yours with barely any feedback and another who gave me detailed feedback like suguru will for reader.

you’re absolutely far too sweet and this means the world to me!! I’m sorry it’s taking me so long to get through these — my brain has just had a rough week and processing praise is already something that takes time for me (it’s much needed and so so so appreciated). It means so so so much. And I will do my best to take care of myself 💕😭🥹

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

My (kinda disjointed) thoughts on some Skylanders ships (part 1)

Trying something new today! It's gonna be hard to write an opinion on Skylander ships, considering the fact that most of them are crackships and half the characters have really basic personalities, but I'll try my best. I'm starting with the dragon Skylanders, but I'll eventually cover other Skylander pairings in the future.

Spyro x Cynder: 9/10. Pretty basic, all things considered. It's the ship people choose because they were hardcore Legend of Spyro fans and shipped Spynder back then. I do think they have a good dynamic; Cynder's evil past is ripe with angst and hurt/comfort potential, and Spyro being the one to save her naturally makes him a perfect candidate to provide the "comfort" part. At the same time though, I understand the appeal of having them remain platonic since as of 2023, Skylanders is the only Spyro media to have both appear without any hint of romance between them.

Spyro x Sunburn: 6/10. It's mostly an ironic ship I thought of as a joke during the early days back when I only did incorrect quotes exclusively about the dragon Skylanders. I don't think Sunburn and Spyro would really have a whole lot of interesting interactions.

Spyro x Whirlwind: 1/10. I don't see the appeal. To me, they're just friends or coworkers. Nothing more than that. The only reason anyone ships this is that they hate Cynder or Spynder, but they also don't want to ship Spyro with the humanoid girls or Sonic Boom because "interspecies romance yucky"

Whirlwind x Cynder: 9/10. The opposite of Spywind. These two have a great dynamic, Whirlwind being ostracized for her mixed heritage, while Cynder's distrusted for her past as a servant of Malefor. The two could find a lot of comfort in each other due to their shared experiences. The only reason it's not a complete 10/10 is because I prefer pairing the two with other characters.

Whirlwind x Sunburn: 8/10. It's aight. I guess the way their backstories contrast is interesting, Whirlwind used to be hated for being a dragon hybrid while Sunburn was coveted for the same reason.

Whirlwind x Camo: 7/10. No strong opinions.

Sunburn x Camo: 8/10. I can see why it has appeal. Two pranksters goofin' off together is always nice.

Whirlwind x Sunburn x Camo: 9/10. Whirlwind and her two supportive bfs, who are also dating each other. I think overall I prefer polyshipping these three over their separate ships, but the reasons why are based entirely on fanon I made up regarding the three.

Whirlwind x Zap: 5/10 ...Eh? Nothing wrong with it, but I don't really see the appeal either. It's better than Spywind because the entire basis for the ship isn't just "a hetero dragon ship for Spyro that isn't Cynder"

Side note: Damn, Whirlwind has a lot of ships. Why is that?

Drobot x Camo: 8/10. I think it's really funny. Drobot the serious, intelligent, and logical-minded, while Camo is a jokester who makes fruit explode for shits and giggles. The contrast between serious and silly always makes for a fun dynamic, and I think if the two ever got meaningful interactions, Camo would be the guy who'd get Drobot to loosen up.

Bash x Flashwing: 8/10. This pairing actually has ground to stand on since it's one of the only ships that have actual potential for being canon. Bash falling in love with Flashwing is literally half of her backstory, and it's a standout trait for Bash and Skylanders in general. It's rare for Skylanders characters to actually have romantic feelings for anyone, much less each other, which is what makes this ship so appealing, it's potential for exploring this idea. Sadly, canon has not seen that potential. There's been no actual exploration of the pairing in Skylanders media, not even the comics or Skylanders Academy, which literally exist to flesh out the goddamn Skylanders. The closest we get is apparently from a book called "Skylanders Universe: The Complete Collection, page 39" which states Flashwing canonically likes Bash back, though she won't admit it out loud (don't quote me on this, I got it from the wiki). That's it. That's all we get. If the pairing actually got explored in official Skylanders material, then it'd be a 9 or a 10.

[mxanigel]

reasons I've gravitated to Attack on Titan and Shion's fic in no particular order:

misogyny seems to be the exception rather than the norm (like who has time for that when monsters walk the earth solely obsessed with eating people)

refreshingly chill acceptance of queer characters and relationships; for example, the number of characters who question Hange's gender is exactly zero (in the manga, at least; the anime adaptation made Hange look more like a woman and I will forever ignore that; at least Park Romi does a freaking perfect job voicing them)

the politics fascinate me

angst potential is off the charts

ODM gear (a steampunk-inspired means for short-term flight and rapid direction changes while wielding swords?! that aesthetic is hot af)

older characters have prominent roles

I get to explore "what if" scenarios -- I find canon to be pretty damn fascinating, for characters and for plot (yes even the ending), but there's a specific endgame divergence that I crave

related to the above, there are so many unnamed characters who could have larger roles with just slight tweaks (I headcanon that in the original story, Shion was one of many soldiers who died when Shiganshina was first invaded)

I really really like Hange and their force-of-nature personality

sometimes I wish I could be half as blunt as Levi; it can be super gratifying to write his responses in a conversation

I'm 110% convinced that Levi is aspec, specifically demisexual and demiromantic, so I craaaaaaaave nuanced and careful depictions of this facet of his character (I'm terrified I won't do that justice)

"what if a character tried to seek joy in a crapsack world?" Shion is one answer to this question; my Wardens and Shepards don't have personalities or backgrounds conducive to purposefully seeking joy, so I wanted to dive into an OC who started with this idea as a motivator and figure out how their journey would unfold as a result (it's an idea I want to live by; exploring it through fic helps me process how to approach it in reality)

why didn't I just write existing characters to do this? I wanted to play with my faves, and despite the joy Hange feels when studying Titans, neither they nor Levi could realize this ideal without going OOC, haha

The one question I can't answer is why on earth did this obsession return now with such force? 😅 Perhaps it doesn't matter as long as it buoys more than harms my mental health~

[zuzajs14]

Thanks for tagging me @birdstiel 💕

I guess we are doing it. Let's expose ourselves.

8 series to get to know me:

- Supernatural - obviously. my current hyperfixation as you can all tell. I am rather obsessive consumer of media but there are not that many shows close to my heart. and while I despise it deeply (I am a writer and bad storytelling kills me), I am also unable to not love it. this show had many great ideas and even bigger potential, many amazing characters who's story I woul love to explore. the unused or misused or badly used possibilities... damn it.

- Once Upon a Time - listen, i know it's low budget with shitty special effects (the poorly done fire every fucking time). but this is my comfort show. the idea is great, there are a lot of strong women (and one pirate who I am madly in love with). it's not very bright but I never needed it to be. it's just... fairytales, you know. comfort. and my beloved trait of gray morality - evil is made, not born ect, ect

- Doctor Who - this shit saved me. i am not sci fi person much (with exceptions, sure). but this silly man(I use it as a gender neutral term, like - damn, man) in a box, that fights the good fight... a pacifist that killed whole races (the bad ones, sure, but you know). and this otherworldly creature just struggles with so many emotions and is damned to feel forever lonely while having so many people live them... It's AAAAA. sure there are bad episodes. but who cares. i love it

- Our flag means death - you may not now this about me (but everyone in rl DOES as it's my personality) but I love pirates. like a lot. so obviously I care the silly gay pirates show. and I generally like Taika's projects. it's just adorable. makes me feel warm and fuzzy. and has a bit of angst. niceeee

- What we do in the shadows - again, silly and gay. i like gay media, what a suprise. and I love dumb characters. and they are all sooooo fucking stupid. love it. and ya know, vampires ( i have pirates and vampires, I need silly gay cowboys next)

- Game of Thrones - I am still so fucking mad. but I am also a sucker for dark fantasy. the costumes, the drama, the freaking politics and magic. also Jaime and Brienne. this dynamic is all to me. i've read the books to. and it's good storytelling. but unfinished... so sure the show fucked it up. tragic, really (still not emotionally ready to rewatch it dhdjdjd)

- Good Omens - Neil Gaiman is my favourite author. Really. Terry Pratchett is high on that list too. and as Neil supervised this adaptation... and it has David Tennant and Michael Sheen... couldn't go wrong. and is just hilarious and tender and full of love (and biblical motives which is something I value a lot - Gabriel shouting he's buying pornography lives rent free in my head)

- Broadchurch - you can't tell by this list but I like criminal shows too! (I was thinking os putting Sherlock on the list cause I care it a lot too and bonded with my mum over it buuuuut... somehow Broadchurch won, being fresher in my memory) again it has David Tennant, who's work I enjoy a great deal. and it's really good story that kept me on my toes. first season is my favourite

Huh. It was hard choosing only 8. Special mentions go to Sherlock, The Terror and One Piece (pirates!)

Okay, I will shut up now. This is way too long anyhow

No pressure tags (I still hate tagging people, I don't want to annoy anyone but I am curious about yours!)

@naughtystiel @fluffsnake @valeron99 @archervale @werepires (still intimated by you but if you want 👉👈)

And anyone who wants to! You can tag me and I will defo read it! I would gladly see all of my mutuals do it, but as I haven't talked to most of you, I am still shy about bothering you...

[erinaceina]

My mind seems to go blank whenever I'm required to think of tropes, but uhh here goes...

Soulmates Enemies to lovers Fake married Found family Amnesia

Soulmates: A-. Done right, this can be a favourite trope of mine but I have specific things I want from it. I want to feel the characters’ connection beyond the soulmate thing. I want to feel them pull against it. I want them to be soulmates who are chosen as well as made. But ooh, the delightful angst potential of mutual pining with ‘they wouldn’t like me if we weren’t soulmates’ but they would and they do.

Enemies to lovers: C, I guess. It’s a bit of a weird one because my first impulse when someone says enemies to lovers is a favourite is a visceral nope, especially if they still feel like they hate each other once they become lovers (hate fucking will make me nope out of a fic so fast, especially for a favourite ship, especially if the hate is genuine rather than something they’re trying to convince themselves of). But so many of my favourite ships do have an element of enemies to lovers (Lymond/Philippa, Wangxian, Eugenides/Irene etc). When I like it, I really, really like it. The gradual getting to know one another, the realisation that someone you thought was awful is actually amazing, the way it can explore the idea of getting to know someone utterly, the guilt and confusion because this is your enemy, damn it… So yeah, a true C in that it depends massively on how it’s treated.

Fake married: B. I think I prefer forced marriage/marriage of convenience to truly fake married (i.e. pretending for reasons) because I tend to think of those as angstier (oh no, I’m stuck with someone who I can’t love/can’t love me) and fake marriage as more comedic (oh no, all our friends believe it too, how will we tell them the truth?) The need to support each other in a difficult situation, the gradual building of trust… But fake married is still fun and still has the potential for pining in close quarters which…oooh yesss.

Found family: B. A hard one to rate again. I love found family and I find stories in which the ship ends up happily together but without (found) family/friends viscerally upsetting - e.g. scenarios in which WWX and LWJ head off into the wild blue yonder and cut all ties with the cultivation world. I’ve never seen anyone do something like that with Lymond and, honestly, Richard would just chase him down with a big butterfly net at this point. Something he should have considered earlier in canon tbh. But anyway, I love seeing the development/fulfilment of platonic emotional bonds but, at the same time, I never think to filter for found family and I usually want the fic to be doing something else as well.

Amnesia: A+. Heeeeeeeeeee yeah. I love it so much. So much angst, so much confusion, so much vulnerability, so much doubt and fear. All the hurt/comfort! It’s sickfic turned up to 10. There are so many different ways it can go, poking at trauma and trust, exploring the possibility of healing damaged relationships and getting to see aspects of a character which they usually keep hidden. It’s a trope which lends itself really well to a close focus on the characters and their emotions. I especially love it when the amnesiac character doesn’t understand why the others are treating them so well and has to go through the process of learning to be vulnerable all over again. I might have to go and find some amnesia fic now…