#i just want to vent my frustration with this route

[zhoras-bitch]

The problem with Kamal in KFS to me is that in another story I would be all over him. He fits my type to a T, I always love the sweet protective gentle giant trope. And RC hasn't really done an LI like that yet, so my excitement should be through the roof right now.

But I cannot stand the way Remy writes his romance. Whyyy does she have to remind me time and time again that he knew MC as a kid and has only seen her like that until very recently. The comments of him realising how mature Devi has become and how much she's grown and how she's a woman now like uuuugh. I know what she is trying to do here, but it's only achieving the effect of making me feel icky.

[waywardsalt]

tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz

[botboots]

Saw that your requests were open so what about TFP cons with an adorkable teen human reader? A really close friend (the emotional support bundle of joy™) that is really artistic, kind, understanding and just a pure cinnamon roll, what would be the bots reaction to the lil' human? Optimus, Ratchet,Bulkhead, Arcee, BB, and if you do the kids then the kids. If not the other bots, stay safe!

im back!! so sorry for the long ass wait, had so much going on in my life recently (graduating, going back home, etc.) but hopefully i'll be back to posting somewhat regularly! tysm for the continuous support :] love seeing the notifs pop up every day this is one of the first asks in my inbox (and i completely forgot that the prompt said reader was part of the cons... whoops) and i've wanted to get it done for a while now! have so many more to get through but will get them done eventually - this isn't the best but its cute <3 and you can 100% tell who my favs are lmao warnings: none word count: 939 (GN reader)

-----------------

Optimus:

he finds your outlook on things is a nice change of pace compared to the more pessimistic views that some members of the team can have at times

values your compassion greatly, often turning to you as a confidant over the time you’ve gotten to know each other. a mission went wrong and he’s putting all the blame on himself? you’re there to reassure him in a heartbeat, reminding him that he did his best and there’s always another chance; you keep him grounded

has an innate interest in art and writing - he used to be an archivist, after all

so he enjoys watching you indulge in your hobby, your excitement about it reminds him of his younger years of being a clerk at iacon when he would become giddy over a newfound archaic text

he’s very fond of you and makes sure you know it, taking note of the small things you like and getting you whatever little gift he can manage to find - genuinely thinks you’re cute and likes seeing you happy :] 

Ratchet:

while it may have taken him a little longer than the others to warm up to you fully, he grew to start looking forward to your company (despite his his best efforts to hide it)

he appreciates your quiet company; you’re much less rambunctious than both the other humans and his own team - you complain a lot less too, probably one of his favorite qualities about you

like optimus, your bubbly attitude gives him a much needed break from the dreary duties that come with being the autobot medic

you often find yourselves working in tandem, with you sitting on the couch working on your newest project while he stands at his terminal typing away. occasionally you’ll walk over with a nervous smile, and with a roll of his optics he’ll lower a servo for you to climb into and lift you up onto the corner of the console, huffing when you chirp a thank you before the both of you quietly return to your tasks (he enjoys it, really)

while he’s not one to vent his frustrations to you, he’ll always be open to listen to you vent about yours. even if he doesn’t respond with much, he’ll offer logical solutions and observations for whatever issue you’re having

Bulkhead:

the big guy loves art, having been exposed to his fair share of it by miko, and is very encouraging when it comes to your projects

he might not get some of the nuances or meanings of the things you make, but he tries - oftentimes making you laugh a bit at the sheer amount he misses. it’s endearing though, and you appreciate the effort

too fidgety to sit and watch you do anything for too long, but he’ll offer to drive you to a vista for some inspiration while he does his usual scouting routes, miko tagging along of course. she’ll probably bring her sketchbook with her and sit next to you and draw, chattering the entire time while blasting some music from her ipod, offering you one of her earbuds

Arcee:

similar to ratchet she takes a while to get used to you, a little cold at first to your attempts at friendliness

she notices how happy you seem to make everyone else and eventually makes a legitimate pass at being friendly despite how awkward it feels

but with how eagerly you accept it she doesn’t feel as bad, sighing in relief as you immediately start filling her in on how much you’ve enjoyed your time with the autobots

she’s not much of a conversationalist (especially when it comes to humans) so your chattiness is almost a relief - not having to keep up fake interest and energy with someone puts her in a more comfortable position; especially since you’re not one to comment on it like others tend to

will sit and watch you work on whatever your newest project is, a comfortable silence shared between the two of you

rambles about random stuff from her past sometimes - you turn out to be one of the few people she trusts enough to mindlessly dump her thoughts to, both good and bad

Bumblebee:

one of the first to get to know you, overly excited about having a fresh face around

super curious when he sees you working on something, a barrage of questions translated from mechanical chirps and whirrs with the help (and annoyance) of ratchet

he’ll actually try and mimic some of your art on the walls of hidden ditches where he and rafael hang out, excitedly bringing you along to show off his latest work and buzzing happily when you praise it

will eventually, with your encouragement, try and make something original - he ends up finding it pretty soothing and an easier way to feel understood; communicating his feelings without words can be unsurprisingly helpful for someone who can’t use any of his own

you’ll spend hours hanging out and working on your stuff - he likes when you help him with his own art, adding your own brushstrokes to the concrete wall

he’ll let you sit up on his shoulder just to watch him make whatever he feels like making, or even just taking you on joyrides in the desert where he doesnt need to worry about anything going wrong

while it’s usually you, him and raf hanging out he does enjoy spending solo time with you - usually in silence or one-sided conversations, but you understand each other well enough without words

will also figure out what your favorite songs are and surprise you with them; he loves when you get all giddy about literally anything

[therocketeer0501]

IDW Starscream X Reader

Rendezvous

Warnings: none

Synopsis: While on patrol, the SIC discovers a quiet place he can get away from it all. Unfortunately, so did a certain troublesome little human.

Author note: (I’ve never written fanfic before but I wanted a slow burn romance with no smut only fluff so here I am. I am not a professional writer and this is my first time posting fanfic!)

It had been one of those days you felt like running away from it all. You drove furiously down the winding road you took to work every day. Music blaring and fists clenched on the wheel. Snow had fallen the night before making the foliage glisten as your car screamed past the quiet trees. You needed more time to yourself. Just a few more hours until you had to go home. It’s not like you wouldn’t be alone anyway. You lived by yourself in the middle of nowhere, in a house given to you when your mother passed away last year. The memories in that house plagued you almost as much as your idiot coworkers. Taking a deep breath in, you turn onto the unmarked path that led to the lake. The moon was full, casting ethereal silver light over the icy water. This time of year you knew it was frozen solid. Enough for your favorite passtime, ice skating. It had been years since you had been here. Good memories began to surface as you parked the car and got out. Breathing in a lungful of painfully fridged air. A smile crawled its way across your lips. This was exactly what you needed.

Starscream stalked through the halls of the base. His wings flicking irritably. Another unfruitful scout for energon had left him with the fury of his glorious leader. He flexed his servos itching for something to take his frustration out on. He shouldered past Thundercracker, the other seeker raising a hand in greeting but stopping when he saw the look on his face. He missed the days when he and his trine had been able to spend more time together. But those feelings were currently overshadowed by the unyielding rage he felt. He tried to ignore the sting in the side of his helm where Megatron had drove his fist, making it clear once again that failure meant pain. Venting his frustration to the cold night air, he transformed wanting to be anywhere but here. Flying his usual patrol route he spotted the perfect place far enough away from those miserable humans. A lake, surrounded by mountains and covered in ice. A clearing of large rocks sat underneath a cliff nearby. Perfect to take out his grievances on. He landed skidding so a halt, nearly bowling into one of the big rocks. Instead he sent his fist through it, shattering the massive stone and yelling his frustration to what he thought was an empty night sky.

You had since donned your old skates and a heavier coat. Pulling on the leather skates felt like coming home. Something familiar and exciting. You had taken lessons in your teens and still remember it like it was yesterday. Putting on your favorite playlist, you slide gracefully onto the ice. The moon is bright enough to light the entire lake as you enjoy the solitude. Your breath billowing in eerie curls from your mouth as you remember the steps to a routine you learned. Spinning gracefully, forgetting the awful day you had at work. Peace didn’t last long though as a massive boulder comes hurtling from behind you. Narrowly missing your head and plummeting straight through the thick ice. You barely have time to react before you are sent flying. A scream of fear cut short as you plunge below the ice into the inky water.

Starscream swung his helm around at the sound of your shriek. A human? Or an animal? Something was here with him. He stalked through the trees towards where he had sent that stone flying. He hoped it would land satisfyingly in the middle of that frozen lake. On his approach he saw it in fact met its mark. That’s when he noticed the human vehicle parked near the shore and a small pale hand scrabbling at the edge of the ice. For a moment he thought about just flying away. He wouldn’t have to deal with whatever it was. It was just a human. Right? But something made him stop and reach out a massive hand, scooping you from the water. When he lifted you towards his face to examine you, he noticed something alarming. You weren’t moving. A tinge of guilt gripped his spark. He hadn’t meant to cause harm to the thing. All these years on earth and he hadn’t let himself get this close to its squishy little inhabitants. It looked startlingly like a Cybertronian sparkling. His optics narrow as worry grips him. Poking you with a servo gently to push you over onto your back in his hand, he presses it cautiously to your chest. Your little heartbeat is there, but it’s faint. He vents in exasperation. The night wasn’t meant to go like this.

[psychedelicriot]

MONSTER X MEDIATOR Walkthrough: Purple Room 004/Sir Knight

Hi, got this game DL'd just yesterday, and I'm defo frustrated since I want to see some walkthroughs ;-; Here we go, I guess? Note that this is how I got the ending through my way, pretty sure that there could've been any other way, but this is how I got mine! This would include commentaries on the ending, you might wanna skip if you don't care.

TW/CW: This game contains questionable theme, bloods, explicit description of gore, and sexual assault on this route.

WILL BE UPDATED AS I/THE CREATOR PROGRESS ON THE GAME! <3

If you'd like to, you can check other routes walkthrough here! Red Room 001

(Bow respectfully.) / I have direct orders from the king himself! / An idiot says what?

2-*clap* / So you won't kill me?

1- I can't leave even if I wanted to... / How about I stay and helo you clean!

Bad Ending: Pest Control

I have direct orders from the king himself!

*clap* (or you can just, straight out choose "So you won't kill me?")

I can't leave even if I wanted to...

You got beaten and bludgeoned to death, that's it. Basically, he only do not kill you at first since he thought you could just yeet yourself out of his presence. Turns out you can't. You could also achieve this ending by other routes, but making a mistake along the way, like failing to meet his baking standard, etc etc!

Bad Ending: Endless Death Sentence for The Charlatan

I have direct orders from the king himself!

*clap*

How about I stay and help you clean!

Down it like a champ

Preheat the oven

Get the puff pastry

Put one of the puff pastry sheets on top

We wait? / We clean up? (Both options would still lead you into the same route)

You'd make a great househusband. / What about yoru sword? / What exactly are you? (You can choose both option and would still come back to the same options-choosing)

Are the Palmiers done?

Eat them. / Throw them into the vent. (Both options would still lead you into the same route)

Try to pull out the sword

Order him around first.

Abuse your power.

So, you get some fun by ordering him around, but then the real master punish you for being a meanie. Done.

PURPLE ROOM 003: PERSUASION SUCCESSFUL (1)

I have direct orders from the king himself!

*clap*

How about I stay and help you clean!

Down it like a champ

Preheat the oven

Get the puff pastry

Put one of the puff pastry sheets on top

We wait? / We clean up? (Both options would still lead you into the same route)

You'd make a great househusband. / What about yoru sword? / What exactly are you? (You can choose both option and would still come back to the same options-choosing)

Are the Palmiers done?

Eat them. / Throw them into the vent. (Both options would still lead you into the same route)

Try to pull out the sword

Order him to leave the hotel room.

You got him wrapped around your fingertips and you got him out! Win-win situation! Yay, basically it's not the ending, you still need to handle the other rooms (if you haven't). Though, you basically managed to coerce him to leave the room. And you'll get his information sheet afterwards!

Bonus: His sexy-ass apron.

[last-herondale]

Almost Part 5

Bucky Barnes x FemReader!

Angst, hurt, heartbreak

Warnings: cussing

AN: yall, I love this series so far. It hurts my heart but damn.

Enjoy ❤️

You had been back from your mission for about a month now. Whatever this thing was between you and Steve, was still happening. He didn’t seem to be in any rush to define the relationship, and to be honest you were in no hurry to define anything either. Having fun might have been an acceptable answer, since the two of you certainly had a lot of that since your return. But even despite the physical attraction the two of you clearly felt towards each other, there was also the emotional connection that you two had.

You were surprised to find out just how easy it was to open up to Steve. He was a great listener. You were used to being the listener in situations like these. You had been the listener for Nat whenever she needed to talk and you had been the listener for Bucky on those many nights that he needed someone to vent to. It was nice. Freeing in a way to be able to talk to Steve. He didn’t make you feel ashamed for talking about your feelings, even when those feelings sometimes drifted to his best friend.

You found yourself thinking about Bucky less and less. Not seeing him around as often also helped your heart heal. He would turn up occasionally of course, for briefings or training sessions with Sam, but other than that he had been an anomaly to see at the headquarters. Steve offered little insight into Bucky’s whereabouts, although you wouldn’t dare ask now. Since you and Steve were… together… In some capacity anyway, you did your best to refrain from talking about Bucky Barnes.

But still, your heart ached for him in ways that you couldn't understand. The ache didn’t hurt as much as it had that night on the balcony, but even now the absence of someone who you held so dearly hurt, despite yourself… You decided that it was okay to let go. You were happy being with Steve. He was what you needed and in return you wanted to be the best version of yourself to prove you were worthy of being with him. And you knew that that meant letting go of Bucky.

Of course, fate has a funny sense of humor, because as you were passing through the hallway one late night, a door opened up and a beautiful woman stepped outside. You had been in your sleep wear, a water bottle from the kitchen in your hand, and you damn near ran head first into the woman. Your training kicked in and with the sight of a stranger in the Avenger’s tower made you grab her arm and pin it behind her back. The woman let out a muffled scream and dropped her purse.

“I’m sorry! Please, don’t hurt me!” She squealed as you pinned her against the wall.

“Who are–”

Before you could finish your question, the same door burst open and out came a shirtless, wild eyed Bucky. He had a small pistol in his hand as he scanned the hallway.

“Nadia what the hell-” his words fell away as his eyes settled on you. He lowered his weapon immediately.

“James, help me,” she whimpered.

You and Bucky locked eyes for a moment and then it suddenly hit you all at once. You hadn’t realized that you had gone down the wrong hallway, and that you were in front of Bucky’s apartment. The route used to be a familiar trek for you, but now… This girl had been leaving his company in the late hours of the night…

You dropped her arm immediately and watched as she stumbled back over to Bucky.

Right. The girlfriend.

You felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment as you quickly bent down to pick up the purse and hand it to her.

“I’m sorry, I thought–”

“What the hell?” Bucky asked angrily, holding Nadia and soothing her hyperventilation.

The anger in Bucky’s voice hit a nerve with you. It didn’t make you emotional, like you thought seeing him, and his girlfriend together, would. Instead, you found yourself clenching your jaw in frustration.

“I said sorry, didn’t I?” You snapped, “Maybe next time get your girl here an escort out the door, before someone far scarier than myself finds her in the halls. I think Tony has a special pass for late night visitors.”

Nadia scoffed at the inflection of your tone, and your allusion to her being a hooker. She looked to Bucky for some sort of help, but he just stared daggers at you. You gave her slight smirk and you put your hands on your hips.

Nadia just snatched her purse from me and stormed off down the hallway. You watched as she huffed away, and you felt a small smirk creep up on your face as you turned to look at Bucky. At first, the only thing you could see on his face was anger, his face was a bit flushed and his eyebrows were furrowed. But you swore you could have seen a spark of amusement lingering in his eyes as he stared you down.

“What the hell is your problem?” he demanded, shoving his pistol in the waistband of his sweats.

“I don’t have one,” you said between your clenched teeth, “Like I said, it was an accident, I didn’t realize this was your hallway.”

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and you just gave out an angry huff of breath. You knew it didn’t look good for you to be so cross. Just because you had bumped into the woman that he chose over you. It was crass and unprofessional… but you didn’t care.

“Whatever, I don’t have to put up with this shit,” you muttered as you turned around to leave.

A cool metal hand caught the back of your arm, not hurting you, but gripping tight enough to stop you from leaving.

“Wait, I–”

You spun around on him, anger flashing in your eyes as you faced him.

“Oh! Are you finally going to talk to me, James? Or yell at me some more for scaring your girlfriend?”

Bucky frowned at you, clearly getting worked up as you were. You knew you needed to be careful. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing in front of Bucky, but he knew exactly how to work you up into a fit.

“You haven’t exactly been a conversationalist with me either, you know,” his voice dripped with sarcasm as he spoke. “You run away for a month and a half, not telling anyone where you’re going.”

“That’s not fair, I was on a mission…”

“Don’t use that as a fucking excuse. We all go on missions, but that was different and we both know it,” Bucky snapped, his temper rising as he was losing control of himself.

“Do you know how worried I’ve been? You, Steve, and Sam disappear after the party and fuck off to some place that no one knows where? What the hell was I supposed to think when Tony said you three had a snag in the mission. I thought you were dead. All of you.”

“We were busy…”

“Oh yeah, I know. You’ve been really busy lately, haven’t you?”

You felt your blood freeze. He obviously was referring to Steve. You weren’t sure how he knew, since you and Steve had made sure not to tell anyone anything yet. You didn’t want to announce a relationship if there wasn’t one. So how did Bucky find out? Did Steve crack and tell him? Had he been lying to you?

Heat quickly found your stomach again. You clenched your fists and met his icy gaze.

“I don’t see what business of that is yours,” you said sharply.

“He’s my best friend,” Bucky said tensely.

For a moment it looked like Bucky would continue talking, but he tightened his mouth into a line and just kept a steady gaze on you. You crossed your arms, mimicking him. You felt your temper rising to dangerous levels.

“Whatever you want to say, just fucking say it.”

Bucky scoffed out a laugh. But you weren’t laughing. You took a step towards him, willing your eyes to be sharp as daggers as you stared at him

“Say it.”

You saw the fire burning in Bucky’s eyes and he clenched his jaw before opening his mouth.

“There were other ways to get back at me, you know,” Bucky said in a deadly low voice, “But fucking my best friend is an all time low.”

You flinched as if he had slapped you.

Your chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as you tried not to cry in front of him. You wanted to yell at him, scream at him. How dare he accuse you of using Steve as a weapon against him. How dare he get mad at you for trying to move on, when he didn’t want you. Rather than curse him up and down the hallway, you just took a step back from him, feeling oddly hollow and cold.

“I didn’t know you thought so little of me,” you said in a small voice, “but I guess that checks out doesn’t it? I guess you never thought much of me… ever.”

Bucky’s anger seemed to fall away instantly. He uncrossed his arms and opened his mouth to say something, but you were gone. You were running down the hall, tears blurring your vision as you ran. You didn’t stop to listen if he was following you. You flung open your door and slammed it shut as you slid down against the door immediately. Tears poured down your face as you sobbed. You wrapped your arms around your knees, feeling like that was the only thing you could do to keep yourself together.

You sat there, the rest of the night and early into the morning feeling so empty that if a breeze were to come into the apartment, you knew you would float away. Part of you wished that you would. You wondered how many times your heart could break before it was useless. You wondered why you continued to let James Buchanan Barnes break your heart, if you really had any control over that at all. You had hoped that being with Steve would help. Maybe Bucky was right? Were you using Steve to get over him? The thought made you want to vomit.

All you could be certain of was the pain. You felt it everywhere and nowhere all at once. It lived in you. Consumed you. What you hated the most was that you couldn’t distinguish love from the pain anymore. All you knew was that whenever you thought of Bucky, the pain returned with a vengeance. Now it had settled deep in your bones and it made you want to die.

Part 6

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Houndoom(Pet-Like)

As someone who has a Houndoom as my fire and dark type in Brilliant Diamond right now (Her name is Hellena), I'll happily write for the hellhound :)

Overprotective! Houndoom Concept

Pairing: Platonic/Pet/Animal-like

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Violence, Overprotective behavior, Attempted murder, Possessive behavior, Arson, Jealousy implied, Despite the source material this is dark, like really dark.

Houndooms would be quite terrifying of they were overprotective of a trainer.

Sure, you may think they'd be just loyal dogs.

Yes, but recall their Pokedex entries?

Most entries say essentially the same thing.

Houndoom has a fire that when someone is burned by it, the burn lasts forever.

This Pokemon is also often considered the "Grim Reaper" due to the howls it produces according to other dex entries.

So, no, Houndoom is not just some dog Pokemon.

I imagine you took one in as a Houndour, which makes the Pokemon extra attached to you.

That or maybe you managed to tackle the feat of catching one in the wild.

I'd imagine a wild Houndoom would take more time to get used to their trainer.

At first they reluctantly follow beside you when you let them out of their ball.

They listen in battle but there's no connection quite yet.

It's not until you stroke their fur, walk alongside them, and train them that they get attached.

Your Houndoom all of a sudden starts getting used to all this praise and warms up to you.

You often take them on a walk through routes and battle with trainers.

You try to train them well as you don't want an accident happening.

You are aware of the danger a Houndoom can cause outside of their ball,

One wrong move and the second a fire breath ignites from their mouth?

Chaos.

For the most part your Pokemon seems well behaved.

They adore you petting them and often wrap around you when resting.

I imagine if a Houndoom became overprotective of a trainer or human they adore they'd get violent.

First it's things like growling, barking, and roaring.

During walks you end up having your Houndoom jump in front of you and show aggressive behaviors.

Wild Pokemon quickly skitter away, which is useful at times but annoying at others.

Then you grow concerned when your Houndoom decides humans are also a threat to their precious trainer.

As a result you keep them in the ball more often.

The most dangerous part of a Houndoom is indeed their fire.

Their claws and teeth are quite bad, yes, but at least the pain subsides then.

Their fire? The pain is forever.

Think about this.

Maybe while you go to sleep at night your Houndoom breaks out of their ball.

Sometimes it's innocent and they curl up around you, wanting the warmth of their trainer.

Other times they leave your home... looking for what, exactly?

They're looking for Pokemon and humans that could have hurt you.

Houndoom is obviously a Fire type, yet they are also a Dark type.

Your Houndoom may not care about the chaos it causes.

As long as they keep their trainer safe they could care less how they do it.

During the night your Houndoom targets random wild Pokemon to get stronger and vent frustration before returning to you.

However, if they're feeling extra ambitious, maybe they target people.

Maybe your Houndoom decides to target your rival... or someone else close to you.

Maybe your Pokemon doesn't like the humans around you.

By the time you wake up in the morning you see it on the news.

A house caught on fire, the survivors having burns that never seem to go away.

They're disfigured and in so much pain.

The report strikes fear in you.

Sure, wild Pokemon sometimes end up attacking humans, it happens.

Yet it seems oddly targeted....

You knew these people.

You try to tell yourself things will be fine.

It's nothing, it's just a wild Pokemon attack.

But as you pack your things to leave your home, your eyes drift towards the ball containing your Houndoom.

You don't want to believe it, in fact you shut the thought out...

Part of you still manages to think your own Pokemon was behind the fire...

But that couldn't be true... could it?

[armpirate]

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 29

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 14 minutes

The room was quiet, save for the soft hum of medical equipment. The morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting gentle rays across the sterile white sheets of the hospital bed. Y/n lay motionless, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths, her face a picture of fragile calm, while San could only look at her while holding her hand.

The doctor already told him everything was okay, he kept being assured there was nothing to worry about. But seeing her so fragile, when he had always known the stronger side of her, had him feeling out of place.

Y/n's eyelids fluttered, the first sign of her emerging consciousness. She felt a dull ache coursing through her body, a reminder of the battle within her. Slowly, her eyes opened, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings of the hospital room.

—Where... am I? —she mumbled, her voice sounding weak and raspy.

San, whose eyes got lost somewhere in the room, instantly perked up at the sound of her voice. His heart pounded with relief and worry as he leaned closer, taking her hand tighter in his.

—Hey, you're awake. You're in the hospital. You had a flare-up, and you collapsed.

Y/n's mind raced to catch up with the events that led her here. She managed to remember the brief moment of happiness and comfort before everything got out of her control. Her eyes welled up with tears of frustration and fear. Although she could only keep her eyelids open so those drops wouldn't roll down her cheek, and ate up the knot in her throat so a whine couldn't break her in half.

—I... I don't know what happened, or how. I suddenly lost control of my body.

—It's okay, Y/n. You're safe now. The doctors are taking good care of you.

Y/n tried to sit up, but her muscles protested. She sank back into the pillows, a defeated sigh escaping her lips. San adjusted the bed, helping her find a more comfortable position.

—How did I get here?

—I called an ambulance —he admitted.

Panic got the best of him when he saw her emotionless in his arms, too afraid and too alerted to do anything else than let professionals deal with the situation. He did think of driving her car to the hospital, but he was afraid of causing bigger damage.

Her lips were trapped among one another as she tried to fight the need to vent, moving her thumb over the reverse of his hand to distract herself from all the thoughts running through her head.

—I hate this. I hate feeling so helpless.

—I know, but you're not alone in this —San squeezed her hand gently—. We'll get through it together, okay? Just focus on getting better.

Y/n nodded, her eyes locking onto San's. His unwavering support gave her a small measure of comfort amidst the storm of emotions raging inside her.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to steady her breathing and calm her racing thoughts.

—I'm sorry I made you go through this.

—Why don't you make up to me by getting better? —he kindly smiled, patting her head.

—Is that the only thing you want? —she scoffed, finally looking back at him.

—I do want a lot of things, but wouldn't be appropriate to say them now —he giggled.

San stopped for a few seconds, lost in her eyes -which slowly started getting back that spark that always shined in them.

—You don't have to apologize for this. For nothing —he assured her—. Y/n, you deserve all of this and even more. I l...

The sincerity in San’s voice touched Y/n deeply, and the words that were about to come out of his lips had her heart speeding fast against her chest, eager to hear them.

—Good morning. How's everything going? —a male voice interrupted them after two knocks on the door.

San rubbed his thumb against her forehead one last time before turning to the doctor, smiling at him while answering for the two of them as he approached her bed.

—How are you feeling, Y/n? —the doctor asked him, checking on her while San just stepped back.

—Lost —she admitted.

—It's normal —he nodded—. It must be confusing to wake up somewhere you don't wanna be. How's the numbness going? Do you feel any difference?

—Not really —she admitted—. Is it... is it normal for patients to faint? I've read a lot about the illness, I know there's a lot to be yet found out, but I've never heard of any experiences of any patient just fainting.

—It's true it's not something usual —he hummed—, but some people have suffered from it. It could be related to your illness, or it could've been empowered by something external. It'd be important to know if there have been any stressful situations in your life lately.

Y/n omitted the scoff when she heard that comment, thinking how her life had been a series of stressful events for the past few weeks. With Mia making things tense in the office, and the secret admirer feeling more confident to step over her boundaries, the strange reaction would've been her feeling completely calm still after that.

—Okay, I got it —he nodded—. I always recommend trying to divert from any situations that could cause severe stress.

—Better said than done —Y/n mumbled.

—Stress could motivate outbreaks to happen —the doctor cut her off—. I know it's difficult, but any situation you can avoid, do it.

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to absorb and understand her doctor's words. He was right, but she wasn't in a position where she could easily avoid those situations.

She glanced around the room, the reality of her situation sinking in. The sad room, the pajamas she was wearing, the IV drip, the antiseptic smell—all reminders of the battle she was fighting.

She nodded, feeling a sense of determination creeping in. She knew the road ahead wouldn't be easy, but with San by her side, she felt a glimmer of hope. Glancing a quick look at her boyfriend, she aimed a soft smile at him, a silent promise to herself to face her condition head-on.

—I'll make my best.

It was a promise to her doctor, and to the person who was listening from behind, hopeful of her making the right choice, but also a promise to herself.

San smiled, leaning in to kiss her forehead gently after stepping closer to her bed. Y/n closed her eyes, letting the warmth of his kiss and the strength of his presence wash over her. For the first time since her collapse, she felt a sense of peace. They would face this storm together, and somehow, they would find a way through.

The whole group showed up a few hours later, bringing to the room some of their joy and funny vibes that she desperately needed to keep on with the rough day ahead. Although it wasn't too long until they were asked to leave so she’d rest a bit and have her lunch in peace, without so many people around her space.

—Don't make that face —San called her out, cleaning the corner of her lip with the napkin.

—My illness is in the brain, not the stomach —she complained, pouting in consequence—. Why don't you go and buy me a burger in the cafeteria? —she tried to convince him.

She should have known better than trying to convince her boyfriend with a suggestive look and a grin, because how worried he was about it was bigger than how bad he was dying to kiss her.

—I'll buy you a sandwich if you eat the soup, at least —he tried to negotiate with her.

Her nose scrunched along with the smile that drew in her face, satisfied with the deal he was offering her.

—Deal —she quickly nodded—. And could you bring some salt packets? This is tasteless.

—Whatever you want —he agreed, tucking her hair behind her ear so it wouldn't bother her.

A soft knock on the door interrupted their moment, with Y/n's first thought was expecting the nurse to pay her a quick visit. Before she could respond, the door swung open, and her father stepped into the room. His face was a mask of worry and anger.

—Y/n! Why didn't you tell me about this? —he called her out, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he approached her bed— Thank god you woke up. But why didn't you tell me about this?

Behind him, her mother also stepped inside the room, carrying her bag on her shoulder while she tried to stop her husband from making a scene.

—Harry, this is not the place.

Her eyes widened in shock, unsure of how they could've found out about her condition and where he was, with her first thought being that secret admirer that had been creeping on her for way too long.

—What are you two doing here? —she asked with a shaky voice.

—What are we doing here? We should be asking you that —he confronted her, looking at her with disappointment—. You should've told us about this. But no, we had to wait for San to confess after I kept asking where you were and why you weren't picking up my calls.

Y/n shot a quick glare at San, who looked down, guilt written all over his face. She felt a mix of anger and despair, because that was exactly what she had wanted to avoid, and he didn't even make the attempt to respect it.

He was in an extreme state of nervousness and anxiety, waiting outside while she was getting tested through all the medical procedures that were needed. Her phone kept ringing in his hand, until he had no other choice but to answer. At first, he tried to play around and avoid giving too much information, but he ended up giving in at the third time being asked where his daughter was.

It was something he promised Y/n not to do, but he just thought it was unfair to lie to her father about something so serious.

—I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to worry about this —she admitted.

—Worry? We're your parents. It's our job to worry about you and try to help you through this. You shouldn't have kept this from us —her mother's hand felt reassuring on hers.

Y/n's eyes filled with tears, the frustration and exhaustion overwhelming her. She tried to move the small table aside, but her body protested, having her sinking back to the pillows when the little strength she had on her arm disappeared.

—Dad, I didn't want to burden you. I thought I could handle it on my own.

—Handle it on your own? Y/n, multiple sclerosis is not something you can handle alone. You need support. You need your family —he sighed—. And you need to take it easy. Do you have any idea of how different it'd have been at work if I had known?

—That's exactly what I wanted to avoid —she sighed—. I don't want to be treated differently. I want to keep doing what I've always been doing —she protested.

—You won't be treated differently, just... I want you to be comfortable, to look for help when you need it, and keep as less stress to yourself as possible —her father added.

Y/n's tears spilled over, and she covered her face with her hands. She didn't know if it was the situation, or the fact that her parents were being so attentive towards her, but she just couldn't help but lose control of her emotions.

—I don't want you to think I'm weak —he confessed in between whines.

—Weak? Y/n, you're the strongest person I know. But even the strongest people need help sometimes.

Her hands slowly lowered, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She looked at her father, seeing the genuine concern and love in his eyes. She felt a pang of guilt for keeping him in the dark.

—I don't want a single secret between us —her mother interrupted—. And that also applies to you, San —she turned to the young man witnessing their scene from the side.

At her inquiring look, he could only quickly nod to make her smile satisfied. Y/n also nodded, her heart feeling a little lighter despite the gravity of the situation. When he looked back at his girlfriend and their eyes met, he could tell there was more yet to come between them as soon as they were left alone. Her gaze was radiating a mix of sadness and anger he didn't know how to play around with.

The hospital room was quieter after her parents left after a short visit, the hum of medical equipment a steady backdrop while their words of support were still lingering in the air. The tension, however, was palpable. Y/n stared at the closed door, her mind racing with conflicting emotions while her lips were sealed as she tried to keep the argument somewhere in the limbo, as far away from them as possible.

—How are you feeling? —he asked.

—I'm feeling better —she whispered, avoiding eye contact with him.

—Can you tell me how you're really feeling? You've gone quiet since your parents left —he finally deepened the issue, standing back at her side.

—How am I feeling? —she finally looked at him— Well, considering I specifically asked you not to tell my parents, and you did exactly the opposite, I really don't know how I feel.

San looked down, guilt etched across his face. He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

—Babe, I did it because I care about you. Your father was worried when I spoke on the phone with him last night, it wasn't fair to lie t...

—That wasn't your decision to make —she interrupted him— You went behind my back and told my parents. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?

Y/n's voice echoed in the small room, her anger a sharp contrast to the quiet around them. Her hands were clenched into fists, her body trembling with emotion.

—I know you're angry, but I couldn't just stand by and do nothing. This is something so serious, your parents had every right to know.

Her eyes glanced up while a scoff left her lips, a smirk drawn on her face.

—Says the person who has lied to everyone? —she confronted him— I also think it's fucked up you lie to your friends about everything about you, but guess what? I didn't tell anyone a single thing, because it's not my choice to tell them or not. This was my fight, this was my choice to make, and you took it from me —her voice broke.

Tears streamed down Y/n's face again, her frustration and betrayal cutting deep. San stepped closer, his own eyes moist with unshed tears.

—I didn't know what else to do. I was lost, you were unconscious, and your father kept asking to know about you. I did what I thought was right —he stood his ground.

—Right for you, maybe —she answered, sarcastically—. But not for me. You took away my choice, my control. Do you even understand how that feels?

Y/n's voice softened, the anger giving way to a deep sadness. She turned away, staring out the window, her mind a whirl of emotions.

—If I'm not able to control my private life, how will I be able to control a whole company, huh? —she asked, calmly— My love life is everywhere, my illness will soon be everywhere with my father behaving like I'm made of glass, because I fucking know how he'll treat me as soon as I step back in the office despite him promising he wouldn't do that —she took a deep breath.

—I understand more than you think —he mentioned pleadingly—. It just slipped.

—It just slipped —she scoffed again, shaking her head—. And now what? —she turned to him again— Now my parents know, and what change is that going to make? Is my illness going to disappear? Now I'll have to work even harder to prove what I get is because I deserve it and not because of my condition. And this is exactly what I didn't want.

San reached out, gently turning her back to face him. His eyes searched hers, filled with regret and love.

—I'm sorry, Y/n. Truly, I am. I never meant to hurt you. And I know you're right, but please, let me make it up to you.

—I don't think there's anything to make up to —she took a deep breath—. It's already done. Whereas you feel sorry, whereas you thought it was the right choice last night. It's not going to change a thing to keep going around on it —she shrugged.

Y/n wanted to be mad at him, yet she could only blame herself for driving him to that extent of stress that forced him to be in a point where he didn't belong -and which he didn't deserve to be at. As much as she wanted to blame him, she could only blame herself for fainting, for losing strength and becoming a worry for everyone around her. San didn't deserve that, and she for sure wasn't going to give him something that he didn't deserve.

—Babe, what do you want? —his hand ghosted her forearm, never reaching to touch her skin because it was a line he didn't want to cross just yet.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, the echoes of their argument still lingering in the air. Y/n's chest heaved with the remnants of her anger, her mind a tangled mess of hurt and confusion. She could feel San's eyes on her, but she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze.

—I want to be alone —she mumbled.

—I'll go to the cafeteria, and I'll bring you that sandwich you wanted —he tried to move to the door.

—No, I need you to go... home —she sentenced—. I need to be alone.

The words hung in the air, heavy and final. San's expression shifted from regret to heartbreak, his eyes widening as he processed her request, trying to keep a relaxed look while tears started piling up in the corners of his eyes . He took a hesitant step towards her, but she held up a hand, stopping him.

He finally nodded, accepting her decision, stepping back and turning to the door when the only thing he wanted to do was snuggle with her in that bed. 

Taglist: @brown88

[the-bed-gremlins-reading-list]

I find Halli's attitude off putting and insensitive towards 2 kids who's parents just died and country was conquered. Will there be a chance to confront him about that?

Yep, definitely have it planned out so you can confront him - and any or all of the mentors. It's part of why I decided to have scenes with each mentor beginning lessons and part of why chapter two's outline is fun. You'll be able to choose how close/comfortable you are with them individually too if my plans work out and have a few chances to decide that regarding your mentor. (And Halli/Zaphon on each other's routes since they will be more involved in one another's students.)

I'm quite pleased with your reaction though.

I will, also, say there is an element of his behavior in the game so far where he's being purposely abrasive to try and pull some of the anger/frustration away from the others, including the stuff the other fideles are venting towards themselves. If they're too busy being mad at him for being a bit of a dick they can't guilt spiral about how they (Viria and Zaphon) just did something they had promised never to do because the other option was to not interfere and they all knew that the kids would probably die if they didn't do anything. He also wants to try to make sure if Auberon or MC lashes out in anger right now it's at a safe target, preferably him.

[barbwritesstuff]

Ugh i dont know if its just me (and its definitely not a complaint about you, you're wonderful), there's quit a few scenes, routes and even Ro's that i can never find unless i ask you about it specifically??? Am i just that dumb??

Like, just yesterday you casually posted "you can find Ravima in a gay bar in chapter 4" and no matter how many times i replayed the game i have never stumbled upon it :( literally did not know it existed until you talked about it.

Again this is just me venting about my own incompetence, its not a complaint ask about you at all Barb <3

.....also how do we meet Ravima in a gay bar?

Messages like this really scare me because I thought people wanted more interactivity. I thought replaying to find the other scenes would be fun, not frustrating or upsetting.

I really didn't mean to make you feel incompetent, anon. I just wanted to add value by making the game different if you make different choices. Thicker Than is not as liner as Blood Moon. There is a lot you'll miss if you only play once, and that is by design. Different choices result in different outcomes.

I thought players would like discovering those differences by replaying the game... but I get a lot of messages like this asking me for roadmaps on how to get certain moments which makes me think players aren't enjoying the replay experience. They don't want to try and figure out what else is out there. They're annoyed that they have to click through it again to see what they missed.

Which is valid but, like I said, really terrifies me because I'm worried I've messed up.

I think I have read the room wrong. I think overly interactive is annoying rather than fun. But I also don't know how to change it now. Thicker Than is too big to rewrite at this point.

I'm really sorry if my game made you feel dumb, but getting messages like this in my inbox really upsets me. I'm not going to respond to anymore roadmap requests for a while. I'm sorry.

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

John the Apostle | In A Man's World | Romantic

Dialogue prompt: "Ever since I was a child, I asked God every day why He made me a girl."

Requested: Yes

Frustrated after being harassed, you vent to John about how the position of women has always frightened you, but he knows just what to say.

TW: Reader getting harassed by a group of men

Going out on your own has not been the best call, but you had told yourself that the errand you had to run was brief enough to do alone. In hindsight, you’d have done best to ask one of the Disciples as a chaperone, for the sun is already gone and most people have withdrawn themselves to their houses. 

Skittish, you make your way through the streets of Jerusalem, hugging the basket of eggs you had attempted to quickly fetch from the other end of the quarter closer to your chest. 

It had started with a shadow or two alongside some hushed whispers; at first you had brushed it off, told yourself it were just a few townspeople chatting amongst one another.

Knowing better now, you hasten in your step as male footsteps draw closer. The route you take is purposefully unusual, so when the presence behind you does not disappear, you know you are being followed.

You can feel their eyes drill into the back of your head - you just choose to ignore them. Wanting nothing more than to avoid confrontation and just get home to your friends who are waiting for their meal to be prepared, you tear on through the city.

“Hey, you there!” 

Alas, to no avail. The three men keep tailing you through the street.

“You with the blue veil! I know you heard me!” The footsteps quicken, but before you can get yourself into a running pace, one of the men has caught up to you. Before you can turn the corner, the stranger intersects himself between you and the wall, and you are forced to halt in your tracks. Your heart skips several beats in the worst sense of the word and your throat runs dry.

“What are you doing here all on your own?” 

“Leave me alone.” you whimper, trying to walk around him, but he blocks your path again.

“No can do.” the man retorts. “Why are you here all alone?” 

You dare to let your eyes go up to face him – pockmarked cheeks, no older than thirty, sallow-faced – and when he grins, a few teeth are missing. He stinks of fish and drink, likely just having been kicked out of The Hammer.

“I am on my way home, leave me be.”

His friends catch up to him, successfully trapping you. You nearly drop the basket of eggs and wonder in what way you could hit them the hardest with it. 

“She’s a pretty one, isn’t she?” 

“Tsk, hands off, Melech. I saw her first, and we shouldn’t get into things too fast. Come on, girl, what is your name?”

You don’t respond, instead tense your jaw. 

“I asked you a question.”

“It is none of your business. Now step aside before my fiancé comes to find me, and you don’t want to mess with him.”

The two men behind you make mocking noises of feigned fear before chuckling darkly. The man with the missing teeth grins. “Is that a threat? If your little boyfriend really cared for you, he wouldn’t have let you go out alone, hm?”

You feel tears sting behind your eyes, and even though you attempt to blink them away at first, they escape regardless. Upon seeing them roll down your cheeks, the men laugh. 

“Look at that,” the toothless stranger quips. “What are you going to do, hm? Call on the Romans to help you out?” You flinch away when he tries to cup your face, pushing your hand forward out of pure instinct. It bumps into his chest rather pathetically and your breath hitches whilst the drunkard looks at it, raising an eyebrow as if not really processing that you had tried to hit him.

One of his friends appears to be more sober and grabs your arm firmly from behind.

“Don’t try anything funny, you. Should have known better than to walk the streets on your own after sundown, especially near the Red Quarter.” The way he hisses it into your ear makes the hairs of your neck stand on end and suddenly, you cannot stop the tears from freely flowing down your face. 

“Stop it, let me go!” A few curious faces peek from behind the drapes of a few houses, but nobody feels it to be their place to meddle. 

You feel a lump start to tighten your throat as your vision blurs even more than it already has. Is nobody coming to your rescue, then?

“Why don’t you come home with us?” the first guy slurs, “You’re such a pretty thing, and it would be a shame to let this opportunity go to waste–”

“Hey! Let her go before I’ll punch you!” 

John’s voice has never been more welcome, and out of sheer relief, you wrap a hand over your mouth to suppress the sound about to tear from your lungs.

Your betrothed quickly approaches and in turn the three men flee as they realise who it is: “Come on, Boaz, Melech, it’s one of Zebedee’s sons! Don’t want to mess with them!” As soon as they part from you, you immediately reach out for John, who opens his arms without question. 

You fall into him and he catches you, tears of fear and frustration running down your face. “Are you hurt?” John queries, “I know them from my days at The Hammer, I’ll go to their house and give them a piece of my mind–”

“I’m fine.” you whimper, holding onto him tightly. “They didn’t do anything. I’m just shaken a bit and… Very happy that you’re here.”

Guilt flashes through John’s face, barely visible through the darkness of night. His brow darkens. “It makes me feel sick to know that they tried to do things to you against your will. I…” His eyes glitter with tears, “I’m so sorry, my love. I should not have let you go get those eggs alone.”

You shake your head, your bottom lip trembling as you cup his face. “No–No, John, it’s okay, I’m okay. You couldn’t have known and I insisted on going alone. It’s not your fault.” 

John’s jaw tenses. “Still, I should have protected you.”

“And you have.” you breathe, “Praise Adonai that you decided to come look for me. Thank you.” 

For a long moment, you look at one another, both with wry smiles and unkeen to let your minds wander what could have happened if John had left mere minutes later. Suddenly, your gaze hardens, your body tensing up. 

“The people of the village… They just peeked out of their drapes and did nothing. Nothing. As if I didn’t exist. And–And I get it, many want to avoid confrontation, we’ve got enough conflict going on with the Romans about but… It’s not easy, you know. Being a woman, I mean. They just don’t care!”

John gulps and looks at you with a furrowed brow, not really knowing the right words to say. You don’t blame him for it. 

“I’ve always imagined myself in one of their positions when I was younger,” you sigh, wiping dry your cheeks. John quickly takes that job out of your hands by thumbing your tears away. “Being a timid housewife and nothing more. It’s what my eema always told me I’d be.”

Your beloved hums and smiles softly. “You’re more than that, my love,” he whispers. Your lips quirk upwards and you momentarily stare off into the distance, gathering your thoughts. 

“You know that our culture works like this. A woman’s job is to be a good housewife and carry enough children. And I love our people, I truly do. But I suppose that… Now that we’re at Jesus’ side, it is almost as if I see things from a new perspective. I’m not saying that it is necessarily wrong to want to build a family, but… It’s not all there is to life, right?”

Cupping your cheeks, John inspects your face. “I think we’ve experienced that way more than many, (Y/n), that life is more than building a family. It is about building a Kingdom as well.” 

You smile and nod against his palms. “Hm, yes,” you murmur, “But I am a woman helping to build a Kingdom in a world predominantly ruled by men. It is quite frustrating, if I may be honest.”

“I understand.” John says, “Some things must be difficult for you. Rules about cleanliness, about authority, about parenthood. I can barely imagine what it must be like.”

Humming in agreement, you momentarily close your eyes. “Jesus sends us out to spread the Word of God, that the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. I just feel like… Like what I do does not truly matter. Don’t get me wrong, Jesus has never made me feel that way. Quite the contrary, actually. But still, my heart is so confused sometimes. Does that make sense?”

“I think it does,” your beloved tells you, although there is some uncertainty in his voice. Once you pick up on it, you decide to elaborate further, not holding it against him. 

“We are the youngest of the group, right?” you query, and he nods in response. “Well,” you continue, “Sometimes I feel like I’ve had to grow up faster than I would have liked.”

John slowly shakes his head, not really sure what you mean with that. “Please, tell me more, but… In the meantime, let’s walk home, okay? Otherwise we will catch a cold or have the others worry about us.” He takes the basket of eggs from you and you start walking towards the home the rest of the group is currently at, enjoying a few moments of quality time together as you empty your heavy heart to him.

“In this world, it is difficult being a woman, John.” you sigh, “Even here, at the side of the Messiah. Not that He is the reason for these sentiments, and not because of the other followers acting strangely towards me or any of the other women, but just… Men in general. My eema always warned me about men like that.” You vaguely gesture behind you, referring to the guys who had just tried to get you back to their place. “About men who don’t see women as equals but rather as their inferiors. As vessels to bring forth offspring.”

John swallows thickly, his throat feeling tight. He had never known that you struggled so much with this. 

“So my eema always said that I should guard myself against them. That I should get married quickly and always have someone nearby to protect me. It’s stifling, John.”

He halts, sudden tears prickling behind his eyes as he mulls over the words. “Do you mean that you don’t want to marry me? That you do it because your eema told you to–”

“No, that is not what I meant with that,” you cut him off, “Sorry, I just worded that a little strangely. I’m so honoured and content that I get to marry you. Never had I ever dreamt about running into someone as lovely as you, I…” You blush and look at your sandals for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I just sometimes… Ever since I was a child, I asked God every day why He made me a girl. And now that the Messiah is here, and I am at His side, I have realised that this question from my childhood is still there no matter that I am in my twenties. My eema has always had that effect on me, I suppose, and it seems that I cannot outrun her influence even though I no longer live at home.” 

John does not really know the right words to say. Instead, he puts down the basket of eggs and takes your hands in his, squeezing them gently. “(Y/n),” he says, “Thank you for being so vulnerable with me. I didn’t know that you feel this way, and I’m glad that you told me. Together, we can find a way for you to heal from this. Consider talking to the other women about it, how they deal with this, because you are not alone. We could even involve Jesus if you want to. I love you, (Y/n), I truly do. Let’s get through this at your own pace, okay?” 

You thickly swallow. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You never are.” he reassures you, pulling you into a hug. You bury your face against his chest and hold tightly onto the green fabric of his tunic, inhaling deeply. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you murmur into his neck, relaxing a bit. “Thank you for listening to me.”

John caresses gentle circles over your back and holds you for a bit longer before pulling away, cupping your face in his hands. “Hey,” he whispers, and you try to smile, for you are obstructed by the way he gently squeezes your cheeks, “You’re cute.”

He presses a soft kiss against your forehead and you giggle at the feeling, flushing pink, considering yourself blessed with an understanding spouse-to-be like him. John releases you and takes the basket of eggs, raising a playful eyebrow. 

“How about I race you home?”

Your smile grows. “You mean to run home?”

He nods, his curls slightly bouncing at the movement, and you let out an amused sound, not even giving him a chance to mention the basket of eggs before darting off, chuckling at the sound of him accusing you of cheating for he had not yet given the sign to go, and with your laughter bouncing off the walls in the street, John eventually manages to catch up.

Even though he is a fast runner and very competitive at that, he lets you win this time around.

[marshmallowprotection]

so, i was replaying saeyoungs route and looking at the thoughts, and the one where he thinks "your breaths become the radiant milky way" caught my attention! i love poetry, and that thought in itself sounded a bit poetic, so i was thinking .. do you think saeyoung ever writes? or is he just naturally romantic and charming lolol

You know, I don't know. I mean, he loves to make up stories and he can be rather philosophical when he wants to be. He makes up stories all the time to be able to vent out his frustrations because that's the only safe way to do it. So, it's not much of a stretch of the imagination to say he has a way with words.

The unfortunate reality to this answer is that the agency really trained him to think on his toes. There are instances where he has to dress up as a damsel in distress to slip past some creeps, and he had to learn how to naturally float in a circumstance where he needs to be romantic. I imagine he picked up a lot of that. He loves to twist and pull at your heart strings!

He can tell any story he wants to, but the one he loves most is the one that makes you smile. If you show interest in him spinning words together, he'll learn how to do it even better than he already does. Sure, most of his skills are because he had no choice but to learn them to survive, but they are his to keep and grow now that he is a free man thanks to you. 

[lastwave]

Hello, if you have the energy, time and will, would you expand on the recent post you made on how people in fandom talk about the skills and how harry feels about them? Like, what kind of things people say are hurtful/inaccurate/uncomfortable, in relation to disco elysium?

I do not mean to pressure you to educate me on this topic, as it is not the responsibility of the affected to educate unknowing people just because they are affected, of course. I just have not found many sources discussing the microaggression regarding the way some people talk about the skillset in disco elysium and the way that they might differ from the general microsaggression about psychosis and systems.

I ask this because I am curious about the way other people experience the world (though I know I will not always get my curiosity sated and this might be a selfish reason) and I want to know what not to do or say in talks about the skillset or in depictions of the skillset in art or writing. I want to be able to discuss and use the skillset as a game mechanic, narrative device and characters in a way that minimizes harm to marginalized groups. I also know that venting or talking about frustrations can sometimes help make one feel better, (but I also know that that depends on the person, problem and the relationship between the venter and the person listening) so maybe this can help relieve some feelings? Those are my intentions with this ask.

I apologize if my careful wording is too overly careful or if this question in other ways causes you unnecessary strife. I just try to be a careful person when it comes to these topics. If you'd rather only respond to me personally instead of the ask, feel free to message me. Whatever way you wanna handle this, if it be publicly as a post, a private message or if you do not feel like you want to answer at all.

Whatever you choose, I wish you the best day that you can have today. Kind regards, Chromatophorium

hiii thank u for asking!

im gonna preface the system bit with whether or not harry & his skills are a system is never explicitly stated, so take this all with a grain of salt

the rest is under the readmore so i don't clog up peoples dashboards

so what gets me is a lot of works imply the skills are less as people than Harry. i understand where the assumption comes from tho, because a lot of media likes to purport the idea of an "original" alter, which isn't how the disorder works. harry is the current host, and he identifies with the body, but the host isn't any more or less person than the other alters.

& we know the skills have independent thought from harry and their own, even if some (or a lot) of them share similar goals (see electrochemistry and volition, two very different personalities w/ different thoughts on how to go about things, but share a goal of keeping the system experiencing joy, though echem has considerably worse coping mechanisms). hell, they even have different political affiliations (see different routes) and a method of coming to a consensus on information (thought cabinet.)

and, as implied in the name, the skills have different talents from harry. *harry's* talent is connecting with people. i interpret the red checks with other skills as trying to let another alter front. i know ive had moments where i've had to let a way more socially adept alter take over. this would be a slightly different conversation if he was implied to be polyfragmented, but hes not soo.

that's why im less inclined to believe theyre a delusion or supernatural thing (shivers excluded, shes definitely supernatural), bc on the most part the skills just act like people, and all display signs of did/osdd (amnesia, distinct personalities, dissociation, etc.) if u want i can make a separate post going into individual skills and how i think they fit how certain alters form, but thats off topic

ANYWAY. it irks me when people boil the skills down to "this is the one that wants good things and this is the one that wants silly things and this is the one that wants bad things" bc it really falls easily into the negative stereotypes applied to systems & by extension psychotic people

[fairypaw]

20 for Spiderleg, and 19 for Firestar?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter? + Spiderleg

ID KILL for a friend group consisting of spider, shrew, squirrel, leaf and white. like idk they would give off cousins you didn't know you weren't related to because your parents are best friends and you call them your aunt/uncle.

Also think its sooo fawkin funny since leaf and spider had beef in canon kinda over the whole him not being there for his kits, okay hear me out, they never have been able to see eye to eye as kids and leaf blows up on him over not seeing rose/toad because she's mostly projecting over not being able to be a mother to her own kits.

But it ends with spider venting about how he's unready to be someone these kits should look up to, something about his brother dying in hopes to save their baby sisters and they still died anyway. maybe throw in my personal hc that he planned to have kits with sootfur but he died too soon and it just hit him that he didn't have the life they planned, and it ends in spiderleaf bestiesms. Leaf convinces spider that he should at least try with them, and Spider down the line after the secret was revealed convinces her to reconcile with her own kits.

ALSO spider + squirrel have a friendly ish rivalry, as in it's not serious but they don't hesitate to punt each other for the bit, but they have their soft moments of shared softness (shrew & soot's deaths) ans they both should have another rivalry over their platonic love for daisy actually. i also do happen to believe in spiderdaisy qpr, give me sassy gossip girls or give me nothing.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like? + Firestar

Spottedfire is almost too easy of an answer. like ugh okay you couldve maybe convinced me at a platonic/sister/maternal relation potrayal in canon, or HELL id be okay with a romantic route IF they didn't have a weird age gap or the emotional infidelity. like a ghost girlfriend/right person not enough time CAN be my cup of tea (esp since i do like fallenholly).

But everything they have CANONICALLY it creeps me out, it doesn't serve anything good plot wise, its not interesting, it doesent give anyone any depth, it dragged and muddled the plot its unnecessary and again, UNCOMFORTABLE. the way they only make spotted important only to be the object of another character just makes me sick (ex. fire, th*stle, in a way leaf and jay) as in she's this perfect an untouchable only wants what's best because she couldn't have the life she wants. but in the perspective of another character ? shes never really stood on her own as anything and it frustrates me.

[mossy-mushrooms]

The dark harvest

Pt 8

"Ryu!" Calista calls out as she runs a bit to get to him. He looks over to her and the other two trailing behind her.

"Did the teacher hold you up or something?" He asks as he looks down at her "Oh yeah, you know the whole spiel about how the bell doesn't dismiss us, she does." As Calista said that Ryu groaned "Yeah no I get that, so annoying honestly".

"Let's not stay at this institution any longer than we need to" Mikey said as he patted Zane on the back to get him going.

...

As all four of them walked to the cafe Ryu hung in the back as he pushed his bike while he mostly listened to their chatter which then came to the topic of donomic, nothing better than hating one person together.

"Donomic talked to me before you guys came" The raven haired teen commented off handedly as he looks at the various houses and the little shops. "What??" Mikey immediately responded and the other two whipped their heads back to look at him. "Are you good? Did he threaten you??" Zane quickly chimed in But Ryu waved them off.

"I'm okay, he asked me my name. I guess he wants to look into me to see if he can make my life hell or something.. I doubt that he asked just so he can 'put a name on a face'." Ryu said as he made air quotes but the others still looked uneasy.

"Listen you have to avoid him as much as you can, do you even know why he treats everyone like the dirt under his feet?" Calista shakes him by the shoulders and he pushes her off slightly.

"Okay calm down, I get it he's some powerful prick because of his daddy, I heard the spiel more than once about other people from different towns" he sighs as he starts to push his bike again. "I know that he will try to get some kind of dirt immediately but he won't. It's outside of his range if I have any."

The other three teens look at him reluctantly as they starts walking as well.

"Let's get to the café yeah?"

....

"Isn't it cute??" Calista looks up at Ryu to gauge his reaction to the quaint café. Ryu  looks up silently at the café name " Café love letter? yeah it seems nice" he mumbles as Mikey passes by him to walk in first.

"Any recommendations? Since you seem to come here a lot" Ryu asks as they sit down at a booth in the corner of the cafe.

"Ah well I like the sandwiches! They have a lot of options actually" Calista chirps happily and Mikey adds on "I like the hot chocolate and the coffee" and Zane just looks at the menu.

....

As all of them eat they talk about the things they talk about their pet peeves.

"Oh I absolutely hate it when i say I don't like tomatoes and the person starts acting like I committed an unimaginable war crime!" Calista huffs as she leans back in her seat. "Right? Like sorry that my taste buds don't like it" Zane agrees with her as they vent about their frustrations.

"What do you hate Ryu?" Mikey asks as he tries to include him, Ryu looks up from eating his sandwich"oh uh... Hospitals." He mutters hoping they won't probe but that was just wishful thinking.

"Mm why?" Zane asks as he looks over at Ryu, "uh.. just a bad taste in my mouth.. especially the needles"

"I feel you I hate those, they're to sharp and ughh" Zane says but the black haired teen just smiles slightly "uh yeah.. something like that."

....

"Bye!" Calista waved as she and Zane went on their route to their homes. Ryu just waved "See ya!" Mikey yelled back as he turned to walk with Ryu.

They walked in silence as the sun started to set, that is until Mikey broke it.

"Want me to walk you halfway to your place?" Ryu looked up at him and shrugged "I mean do you want to go into the woods? I live in a lodge.." Mikey just stared ahead "I.. insist"

Just from that Ryu realised something was up as he saw how Mikey was trying to be calm, Ryu looked over Mikey's posture and saw how he was rigid.

"...Alright" they're eyes met and it was clear that Mikey wanted to tell him what it's about.

....

They broke through the forest line and stayed on the dirt path in an unsettling silence. "Uhm here look at this, Calista sent it to me" Mikey said but it was just the notes app on his phone. 'i think Donomic and two of his dudes' Ryu tries not to make a face as he looks up at Mikey.

"Right... Uhm if you want you can stay at my place it's getting dark" Ryu says as he tries to look out of his peripheral to see where donomic is. "Ah no need I'll head back after you're halfway to your place" Mikey continues walking again but he keeps his gaze ahead and Ryu follows suit.

....

"So see you tomorrow?" Mikey mutters awkwardly as he has his eyes trained on Ryu. "Uh yeah, text me when you get home so I know something didn't get you" he tries to joke but Mikey just knocks him on the top of his head.

"Don't joke with me man" he groans but then ruffles his hair "but yeah I'll shoot ya a text." Ryu waves to him as he gets on his bike. He started cycling back home through the dirt path.

But before he could make it even a bit further he suddenly hears a shout.

"Hey!" Ryu hears Donomic's distinct voice. He takes a breath in and pulls on the break, stopping his bike.

"Donomic? Why are you here?" He says as he turns to face where he heard Donomic's voice and his blood ran cold. There was no one that's when he realised, Donomic was supposed to be behind on the trail.

Not to the side of him in the woods. Ryu immediately drops his head low as sweat beaded at his forehead, his hands felt clammy as he tried to think of what to do now. 'am I fucked? Can I pass it off as actually talking to donomic?' he shuddered as he heard footsteps to his side. But then he also heard footsteps behind him, his possible saving grace.

"How'd you know I was behind you freshmen?" Donomic says as he gets near Ryu who was still keeping his head down. "Hey are you listening??" Donomic scoffed as he put his hand on Ryu's shoulder who just hesitantly looked up at him.

"Mikey.. told me you were behind us so.." the older teen looked at him with suspicion. "Why'd you look to the side if you knew?" Ryu gripped onto the handle bars and tried to keep his eyes solely on Donomic. "Ah well-" they both heard more rustling and cracking of branches.

Donomic's face hardened and he dropped his hand, his eyes looking over to the side so quickly it could've been missed. "You two. Head home, I'll talk to Ryu by myself." As Ryu heard that he looked incredibly confused. Just as he was about to protest Donomic grabbed the middle of Ryu's handle bars and pulled so that the bike would move forward.

"It's the echo, I get it." Donomic said suddenly but Ryu sputtered "echo? Uh- oh yeah I get confused sometimes where I hear stuff from yeah-" he shuts his mouth before he messes up.

The rhythmic crunching of the leaves in the forest beside the path never letting up.

"So um.. Why'd you come to the forest?" Ryu tried to keep up a normal conversation, "to talk to you"

"Oh uh about what?" Donomic looked over to him, his dark brown eyes cold and halflidded. "Why did you move here?"

"Uh.. my guardians say it's for work." He mutters "yeah is that so? Listen. You should keep to yourself outside of school" donomic said plainly.

"Uh excuse me?" Ryu made a face as he heard that. "Most people do. Don't- don't talk to the older people, most of them are fucking weirdos" Ryu just felt more confused, why was Donomic seemingly giving him advice?

"Why are you telling me this?" He squinted at Donomic, trying not to let his eyes wander at what is behind the older teen. "Because you haven't grown up here and I don't need some dumb kid going exploring where they shouldn't. Especially since your place is close to the grove." He puts a hand over his mouth to stop himself from saying too much.

Ryu hopped off his bike as they stood in front of the old gate doors. "Can we talk more in school? I want to.. know more" he chose his words carefully because he had an itching feeling that Donomic knew a lot more than he was letting on.

The older teen clenched his jaw but sighed "Fine. At lunch you will come sit with me nad we'll talk. after that you'll get out of my sight" Ryu put his hands up as the bike rested on his stomach "yeah you got it. Head home quickly it's dark now.." the the teen with slicked back hair just scoffed "yeah I'm not an idiot."

As Ryu closed his gate after getting in he watched as Donomic walked down the path and he couldn't help but glance in the forest trees.. The wretched gaunt creature now in the trees was stalking Donomic who kept his head down.

He shivered as he made himself look at Donomic again until he was out of eyesight. He went and parked his bike under the awning before heading into the once again empty dark lodge.

He sighed as he didn't even bother to turn on the lights as he made his way to the bathroom, the floor boards creaking and reminding him of his old home when he lived with his mother. He shook his head to rid himself of those less then pleasant memories of the trash and the disgusting creaky floor.

[scummy-writes]

I've been thinking about genres of fanfic I don't normally write, and figured I'd share some angsty fic ideas I've either gotten cold feet on, or accepted that they're not in my capabilities to write. Just some summaries of what the fic plot would have covered. Mainly ikevamp but there is ikepri too.

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Unrequited Isaac/Mc - I feel like it's easy to assume Isaac would easily be in unrequited love situations from his side of things, but switching it to Mc actually being the one having unrequited feelings would be interesting, I think!

The plot would have been similar to Isaac's route a smidge, as in how they begin to finally *talk* and Mc generally getting closer, and a friendship forming. Isaac starts to get out of his shell a smidgen, and she even helps him gain the confidence to teach again. All the while her feelings for him keep bubbling forth, until one day when he pulls her aside, flustered and requesting help.

He admits to spending some time after teaching with an acquaintance, and that was the reason why he would be late to return some days. He stumbles over his words a lot, but eventually stutters out that the aquaintance is a woman he believes he has feelings for. Isaac is nearly ashamed to ask, but due to a lack of experience, he was wanting Mc's help with how to approach asking her on a date.

Mc's chest constricts, her breath hardly coming out, but after a moment she finally nods, explaining that she'd be more than happy to help him with this, because what are friends for?

There would be a chunk of the fic with her having to hear Isaac happily going over details about the wonderful date he's went on, and how thankful he is for Mc's help, that he's the happiest he's been in ages.

It could easily branch to Mc getting with someone else in the mansion over this, but all I could imagine was her essentially using them to get over her own feelings, rather than legitimately wanting to be in a relationship with them. And maybe they would know it too!

But the idea hurt too much so I kept everything as notes _(:3」∠)_

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Arranged Marriage Clavis/Mc - I won't act like I understand royalty and the politics that come with it since this flavor of fantasy isn't my forte and I don't seek it out, so keep that in mind please. Secondly, I don't hate Chev and this idea is unfair towards him.

It would have been a fic centered around Mc being in an arranged marriage for whatever reason with Chevalier (don't leave yet---). She's unhappy, she doesn't want it, and she's upset with how cold he seems. She's to stay in the palace until the marriage, and she's unfortunately stubborn. Her mind isn't changing about him, and most of her anger towards her family is being (internally) redirected towards him.

Clavis is naturally around Chev a lot, we all know this, and with her being new to the palace, everyone is a bit curious about her. And Clavis....is a huge softie in my mind... so I imagine that once he notices how often she looks so solemn and upset, he prods at her to rise different emotions out of her.

And at first, she thinks he's annoying. She's frustrated and trying to figure out the best case scenarios for staying here, and she has this fool popping up and insisting she try this and that 'food' he's made, or pull her to the gardens to watch one of the other princes fall for a trap he's made. Or, if she's particularly sour about something Chev has said, he joins in on her venting.

But as time goes on, she enjoys his frequent prodding. It's no longer just a distraction, and as much as they bicker, she finds herself missing him when he's too busy to visit.

And, well, it's obvious where it'd spirial to. The two eventually falling victim to their emotions and having a heated 'confession', sneaking around, trying to deny the feelings but not able to stop seeing each other late at night.

I didn't want to attempt it because I'd get so many details about the game's universe wrong firstly, but also it was just mean towards chev _(:3」∠)_ I wanted to cover the fact that he wasn't an asshole, and that he'd do a few things that would make Mc fairly happy.

Then pregnancy scares were considered, but as I thought about it longer, I shriveled up and decided i cannot write for this game and that this would have been the most melodramatic tv soap themed fanfic I'd written and I promptly erased the document notes.

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Character Death Arthur/Mc - I actually wrote a good chunk of this one before rereading when I was more awake and realized it made no sense, and put the document away.

This one is more simple, and was a focus on the fact that the vampires would outlive Mc. I don't like Mc going vampireless, but the idea is certainly....a thing...to think about.

The fic itself was going to be shortly after her passing, with Arthur essentially staring at the music box he had given her at the start of their relationship. It's well worn by the time this happens, he knows that the comb doesn't hit all the notes properly, that it skips over a few. The lever is harder to crank, and the paint on the dog figure has rubbed off over time- even with all the repaints she would do.

He'd been unable to sleep that night, just absentmindedly staring at this box, unable to stop himself from thinking about various memories with her- when they married, the surprises he hid in his stories for her, and how giddy she was with them. The arguments they had, the nights he was convinced she'd leave him, the day they realized just how sick she was. All the times they considered turning her, and the way his gut twists wishing he managed to convince her to agree to it, even if it was in the worst of ways, because then she'd still be alive and happy.

I think I was going to have him put her wedding ring inside of the box, and then hide it in his dresser or shelf, due to the fact that every time he looked at it, he felt like throwing up from the onslaught of emotions.

I almost posted this one but chickened out! But the draft really was bad because I wanted to try and show just how disjointed his thoughts were, but it just made the whole fic nonsense.

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Reincarnation Au Isaac/Mc - this one wouldn't have been too angsty, and I actually posted the first part (here) of this during 2021's Isaac Week.

I was going to have Mc as a vampire, and Isaac as a human. It was inspired by that one event where the suitors aren't who they are historically, but theyre still vamps and meet time-period appropriate Mc, that had sad as fuck endings.

It would go with Mc spotting him at the cafe one day and eventually gaining a bit of a crush on him, to her finally meeting him, to how they would stumble into a relationship. Hilariously, their first time being together wasn't going to be heavily focused on.

Instead, it was going to be focused on Mc trying to come to terms with letting Isaac die. It was going to be a generic instance of people finding out she's a vampire, Isaac trying to protect her, and failing.

And all the while, as the years go on, she's traumatized over it (naturally). It would cut to modern day, and her spending a lot of time with a witch friend. The friend being very disappointed in Mc's near refusal to properly try and recover. She's gone decades refusing to get too close to anyone else, wears and regularly repairs the gift he'd given her, and she's still overwhelmed with guilt. Her friend has offered to even do the extreme of helping her get rid of the memories, but she's stubborn, and her friend gives the ultimatum that she needs to learn to live again, or else they really would go through with the extreme. (This sounds very silly so this was a strong reason I dropped it)

But during one visit, Mc ends up shakily telling her friend that she ran into him again. (Said friend thinks she's finally gone delusional for a moment). Isaac seems to have no memories of her, and their conversation was strained due to her being in disbelief.

The fic was then going to go the route of the two shakily getting together again, only for Isaac to admit he did remember her after seeing her a few more times, but was upset she didn't seem to remember or refused to get too close to him again, and so he avoided her for a while to try and get his thoughts in order, and if this was a relationship to persue again.

It was going to have a happy ending and focus on Isaac helping her absolve some of the guilt she's had for years. Not too angsty, very angst Lite at the most. I ended up scrapping it due to thinking it wouldn't be interesting for others to read, and that the mc and the friend were very flat.

.

Recovery Gilbert/Mc (Tw: Self Harm, when the text turns blue then this idea is over with, if you wanna skip it!) - I know jack shit about Gilbert and his personality is hard for me to figure out. I don't think I could write him convincingly even if I wanted to. And with general "i am out of my element" vibes with ikepri, this likely wouldn't be one I'd ever actually write, and in general this wouldn't be a subject I could feel okay posting in depth regardless of the fandom

It's short, but it was essentially a situation set up as it is in Sariel's route- the three visiting princes staying there, yadda yadda.

There isn't much of a lead up to this one as the others, but in short my ikepri Oc regularly hurts herself. I'm not going into specifics with that.

The set up was that Gilbert finds out, and in return for not telling anyone else about it or trying to allude to it in front of others, he wanted to ask questions regarding it (the whys and other questions).

And she hates it. He has the same entertained look as always and she doesn't want to put an ounce of trust in him because it's risky and scary, honestly. But the idea of anyone else finding out makes her heart thump painfully against her ribs, and she quietly agrees.

He ends up tipping her chin to make her look at him, and asks when the last time it happened, with a reminder that he can't stand people lying to him. Bitterly she tells him, and is mildly surprised he doesn't ask anything else. Instead, he comments about meetings in the morning, and how a certain rabbit is in charge of helping the visitors with that, and moves to leave.

But he leaves salve and bandages behind, mentioning that if the wounds were to get infected, she'd get caught by the others quickly.

...the story would be about the very strange ways he'd manage to get her to stop doing it, while she stresses about how truthful he is with any of his intentions and words. It would have dissolved into a strained relationship.

Aside from the stuff I stated, this would be something very hard to write. I know others write this content, and dead dove content, but it seems like such a risky thing for me to write about. For various reasons, but also its scary to think about how it could unintentionally negatively impact people who struggle with it. I know slapping warnings is supposed to be the safety net there, but anxiety is never resonable.

.

And that's it! Or all I can remember at the moment. It is 5am in my tinezone so my brain is not at 100% right now.

But uh. Yeah, the way these aren't super structured and grossly ooc or too soap opera for me is why I usually just stick to smut and small fluff drabbles.

And I am also a crybaby. That is a major reason.

If you guys wanted to ask qs about them, I wouldn't mind, but if its a critism of how bad they are or how they're ooc, I don't want to hear it.