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jhilsara · 2 days ago

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Of Bookstore, Coffees, and Late Nights

Sunshine!Reader/Southern!Reader/Plus Sized!Reader

Summary: After Spencer is shot he can't do much in the field for a while, being stuck to the offices in Quantico. His insomnia starts to amp up and instead of an urge for McDonald's at 1 AM he finds himself desperate for a new book and a coffee. Somehow, he finds the Midnight Owl, the late night bookstore/cafe open at weird hours with a cute southern co owner who probably gets the same amount of sleep as he does.

She also makes the best coffee that is disgustingly sweet. Exactly how he likes it.

Word Count: 11k

Warnings: Mentions of Season 5 100 episode and canon typical BAU themes

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The one with the late night bookstore

If Spencer could pace, he would, but his new semi-permanent crutch situation was impeding his mobility. He hasn’t been able to sleep, much less relax with the knowledge of Hotch being stabbed by George Foyet in his own home. Or how it’s clear that Foyet is playing an extreme game with the BAU, but mostly Hotch. Spencer didn’t even want to think about poor Haley and Jack being thrown into witness protection. These were scenarios Spencer knew came with the job he does, but seeing it happen to people he knows and cares about, makes his stomach churn. He couldn’t imagine if it was his own mother being threatened. It sends a cold chill down his back. He needs a distraction.

Spencer’s eyes drag over to his used and abused bookshelf. Looking through his collection trying to find something to read. Even for a distraction he’s not very interested in rereading any of the texts on his shelf. His go to comfort of Sherlock Holmes doesn’t even seem all that appealing at the moment. He needs something that isn’t about criminals or detectives right now. Too bad nothing else on his shelf seemed to catch his eye. Spencer eyes his clock and the analog clock on his wall tells him it’s two in the morning. He’d be lucky if anything besides a dingy twenty-four-hour cafe was open, much less a bookstore.

He sighs and looks over at his discarded laptop on his desk. He boots it up to see if maybe he could at least check how early the library opened. He could try to sleep but his insomnia was eating away at him, trying to focus on anything else but work seemed harder and harder. Spencer had to get out of his apartment. He looks up the library hours as well as a few bookstores. Just trying to see how soon he could sit down and avoid the never-ending running of his brain. He’s surprised when he finds a bookstore that was advertising its hours as open. Surely that was wrong. He spots the phone number on the webpage, and he decides to call to double check.

The line rings for roughly two seconds before it’s picked up, a melodic voice on the other line states, “Midnight Owl, this is Y/N how can I help you?” The cadence of the woman’s voice much too chipper for the middle of the night.

Spencer’s shocked into silence for a moment before he responds, “I thought the hours posted were wrong...” He finds himself stating.

“Nope!” She replies, unbothered by his blunt response. “We’re open 24/5, only closed on Fridays and Saturdays!” She tells him brightly, “You wouldn’t be the first to call thinking we posted our hours wrong though. More common than you think.”

He coughs awkwardly and finds himself nodding even though she can’t see it. “Okay, great, thank you so much.”

“Not a problem, swing by some time we have the best drinks crafted by yours truly!” She jokes with a soft laugh trailing her sentence. She drawls out the end of her words in a way that has them twisting together as sweet as the tea he’s almost positive she drinks.

“Have a good night.” He states before hanging up the phone.

He looks at the address listed and finds that it’s just up the street, barely a block away.

Spencer eyes his crutches for a moment debating on whether he should go or not. His good leg shakes in anxious movements as he sits on his couch. What were the odds that there was a bookstore up his block that was open at odd hours that catered to him? He knew the odds; they were incredibly low . He shrugs to himself and hobbles to grab his crutches, he’ll check it out. Why the hell not? If it’s too good to be true he can add it to the list of places he’ll never visit again like that one coffee shop downtown that burns everything he’s ever ordered.

He desperately needs to get out of his apartment.

Y/N’s night at the Midnight Owl was going slowly. You had a few regulars wander in, which you were happy about since the store had only officially been open for four months. There was a couple that sat on the loveseat in the cafe every Thursday night reading their books together and drinking the cafe’s famous homemade lavender lemonade. Not that you could brag about it, your co-owner makes pastries and premade drinks. All homemade family recipes. On the opposite side of the store was the guy who came in every other day to check for anything new. He grabs a coffee and roams the stacks for an hour. Sometimes he buys, sometimes he doesn’t. He comes in at the same time though, so you’re pretty sure he works a graveyard shift.

There were a couple of students at a table in the cafe section clearly up studying and writing papers. The semester for school had only just started a month ago, but the influx of students coming and going was increasing by the day.

You loved your little bookstore, and during the day it was popping. A rising trendy place for local university students. You preferred the quiet of the nights though. It gave you time to make orders for books, restock, and change out displays. It was methodical cleaning and sorting that kept you sane. Your daytime life was overly complicated and having your own corner of the world was nice. It felt like a safe bubble that didn’t necessarily feel like work.

You’re in the middle of compiling a list of books to reorder that have already sold out when the front doorbell chimes telling her someone just entered. You are behind a stack finishing what you're writing on your notepad when you calls out, “Be right there!”

You bound around the stack to the counter to meet the newcomer, “Welcome in! How can I help you?” you asked happily pushing your hair behind your ear nervously.

You scan the guy from head to toe, he’s definitely new. He looks like a grad student, probably around your age. His mousy brown hair is tied back into a low ponytail and he’s in a well-worn Caltech shirt and sweatpants. The oddest thing about him is the crutches he’s sporting as he comes in. You send him a warm smile.

Spencer looks at the woman standing at the counter and finds you’re not what he expected you to be. You look like the moon; you have features that are soft and delicate, and your eyes shine with the bright ambience of the bookstore. Spencer almost loses his train of thought as he takes in the bookstore worker’s features that just made you seem so inviting.

It takes a second before he registers that you asked him a question. “Oh, yes,” he rushes out awkwardly. “Is the cafe still open?” He questions, tilting his head to the empty-looking bar on the other side.

You nod happily, “It is! I’m the only one who works the night shift, so I run the register and the cafe. Would you like something?” you ask him, already walking toward the counter that holds the cabinet of pastries and coffee machines.

“A latte would be great actually.” He says in a much clearer voice.

“Can do.” You grin at him radiantly and it’s so infectious he finds himself returning one. You turn and almost have a skip to your step as you walk, far too awake for him to deem reasonable for two in the morning.

Spencer watches her as he slowly moves forward on his crutches, she almost dances around the machines as she makes his latte. She’s humming to the music that he’s finally registered playing in the bookstore. She’s radiating a warmth that Spencer doesn’t get to see much day to day except for the one and only, Penelope Garcia. Garcia looked and acted like the sun, one giant ball of pink and blonde energy. He watches the worker move around her workstation making his latte and it’s seamless how she moves, it’s her second nature. She’s just at ease here, which settles his uneasy nerves about trying a new place out in the middle of the night. He looks around and sees a few people mingling about.

Spencer takes time to look around the store and notices how it feels much more lived in than any box stores he’s been to. The overhead lights aren’t fluorescent like a normal store but a few well-placed wooden chandeliers that are carved to look like vines. Every other light is a floor light or table lamp that has mismatched covers and stained glass. He turns to the large windows, and he guesses the store probably gets great sunshine when it’s daylight. The multiple house plants by the window and on the empty tables being a good indicator. The ambiance is so inviting, not to mention the amount of comfortable faux leather seating he sees.

He could imagine spending a lot of time here, it was just so cozy. Spencer can’t imagine he would have missed this place opening but with all the cases they’ve been busy with, he actually isn’t surprised at all.

He’s brought out of his thoughts by her placing the drink on the pickup bar, “So what ails you?” Your voice carries to him, and you tilt your head waiting patiently.

“Excuse me?” He finds himself stuttering out.

You shrug nonchalantly, “Well, it’s the middle of the night and I’ve never seen your face in here before.” You state the fact like it's so obvious.

“So, what’s buggin’ you?” Your voice drawls out sweetly as you look at him expectantly.

It’s almost like the lights in the cafe frame her from behind, bright and dazzling. She’s clearly personable and Spencer isn’t used to people with Y/N’s personality being overtly kind to him. He’ll see how long it takes her to dismiss him like most people do. It doesn’t annoy him like it used to, he expects it really. Especially when his own team and friends do it almost regularly.

You are waiting patiently for his response with unwavering kind eyes.

“Insomnia,” He settled on admitting to you, he gave you a tight lined frown. “I needed a new book; I’ve read through my catalog.”

Your eyes light up, “That’s my specialty! I mean, I make a mean latte, but my favorite part of this place is the books.” you whispered conspiratorially.

“So,” you come around from the back of the bar and put your hands on your hips, “What genre were you looking for? Or was it a specific book?” you ask him.

“Fantasy, preferably. I’ve read all of Tolkien and Gaiman’s works.” He tells you.

You nod in understanding your eyes giving a quick look of him from head to toe, “You look like a man who’s read The Hobbit and American Gods .” You said, almost more so to herself.

Spencer gives you a quizzical look, unsure if he should be insulted or not. You read his face and your own cheeks flush with embarrassment. Your hands start moving exaggeratedly as your voice pitches, “Not in a bad way! I promise, I’m here for a well-read person! Not that you have to have read those two authors to be well read, I just-” You take a deep breath and stop yourself.

“Sorry, I just mean, you look like you’ve probably read some of the most popular titles in that genre.” Your voice grows smaller, and your face is bright in a flush as you rush through your words, drawling them out in that voice that sounds like sugar. You bite the inside of your cheek forcing yourself to stop talking.

Spencer chuckles and shakes his head, “I get it, you’re good.” He tells you reassuringly.

You sigh in relief, pushing your hair out of your face nervously, “Sorry, I really didn’t mean anything by it. I just meant you probably want something different and not recommended every time you ask for fantasy.”

Spencer just gives you a smile, “I appreciate it.” He shifts his weight on his crutches to awkwardly sip his latte.

You usher him over to one of the comfortable chairs with a nice side table lamp that has beautiful green and red stained-glass roses on it.

“Here sit, I’ll grab some recommendations, and you can let me know what you think.” You don’t even give him a chance to rebuttal before you’re off and disappear into the stacks.

The silence that followed her absence was overwhelmingly loud, except for the soft music playing from the speakers. Spencer takes his time drinking his latte and it’s delicious. Better than the place the BAU grabs coffee from, and much better than whatever was in their coffee pot at the office.

You pop back out from the stacks within ten minutes holding at least five book options for him to sort through.

“These all have different sub-genres but are fantasy in nature. Let me know if any look good to you.” You hand them over to him happily. He notices you biting the inside of your cheek again, as you watch him look over the books.

You’re rocking on your feet, as you watch Spencer thumb through the books, reading the summaries keeping his face neutral. You start picking at your nails trying not to seem like a dog waiting for its owner. You should busy yourself with something else besides trying to gauge Spencer’s reaction to the books, but you can’t help it.

Spencer pauses on a book with a bright colorful cover that was in the middle of the stack. It’s the only one he pauses on and your face lights up.

“I loved Howl’s Moving Castle !” Your voice pitches up in enthusiasm. You start talking with your hands again, “It’s fun, and the cast of characters who, in a magical world, feel so relatable. The two leads also have great dialogue! I was genuinely laughing out loud.” Your face splits into a grin as you explain the book to Spencer without spoiling anything.

You are so filled with joy as you talk about the book, it doesn’t take him but a second of listening to you to know he’s sold. He’s reading this, your genuine joy selling him on it. He doesn’t have to look through the rest of the stack, though he’s sure you’ve likely read all the books you offered him.

“I’ll take it.” He said, moving to stand up to purchase it at the counter.

You move to stop him, “Don’t worry about it! You can pay on your way out. You look like you’ve been struggling with those crutches.” You tell him waving him back down to sit.

“Just relax, drink and read. It’s what the Midnight Owl’s for.” You chirp happily shooting him a triumphant look as you move to walk back to the counter.

You go back to working on creating an order for books back at the checkout counter. You have the work desktop open back to the list of books you were cross referencing for prices. You go back and forth from looking at your handwritten list to researching prices from different distributors.

The couple who was there earlier finally get up, waving goodbye to Y/N.

“Have a great night y’all! See you next week.” You tell them with your own wave that’s brief as you make the order.

The only noise in the store is some shuffling and the music playing overhead and you humming along to it. It’s a mix CD you burned a few years back and most of the songs are still your favorite. You keep meaning to make a new one, but you just haven’t had time. Your eyes wander from your computer to check on your new customer reading in the corner. You don’t want to hover, but you try to gauge if he’ll be a regular or not. You hope so, he seemed nice enough.

Spencer can feel her eyes on him occasionally, he can see her fidgeting behind the counter. Every other song he can spot her leaning out of the corner of his eye to look over to him. He tries to hide his grin; he knows that look well. She’s trying to see if he’s enjoying the book. Spencer tries to read at a normal pace, even though he can read twenty thousand words per minute, that defeats the purpose of him trying to get out of his apartment to just devour this book. Plus, he kind of enjoys watching the store clerk.

She’s full of energy and he has no idea where it comes from, but it’s almost a nervous energy. She’s constantly moving, either fidgeting or walking through the stacks to check or tidy the books. She’s also passed in front of him a few times to check the cafe machines or even grab a pastry he’s sure has been there for too long, and she feels bad about selling it.

Spencer stays there for a few hours; he really doesn’t notice how long until the door opens and the bell chimes again.

“Morning!” The new woman cheers sleepily.

You wave at her, “Morning Josie. There are still a few pastries left from yesterday, but I put them in the back fridge for you.”

The new woman, Josie, waved back, “Thanks, I’m going to prep for today.”

Spencer finally looks at the time and realizes it’s five in the morning, he sighs standing up. He grabs his crutches and pushes himself toward the counter to pay for his book. If he’s lucky he could get an hour or two of a nap before work.

He gently slides the book over to you and your whole face brightens, “Have you liked it so far?” you asked him.

Spencer grins “It’s charming. You were right about the cast; it’s a great blend of characters that shouldn’t fit as well as they do together.”

You nod excitedly. “I don’t know if you’ve gotten to a certain part, but I won’t spoil it, I loved how they explain the magic that affects Sophie! It was a fun book.”

Spencer hands over some cash to pay for his book. “I’ve liked it so far. I’ll have to ask for another recommendation.” He tells you.

If you were a dog, your ears would be pointed up and tail wagging, you cannot contain your pure joy.

“Absolutely! Anytime, it’s one of my favorite things.” You push your hair back and you look down at the table nervously pushing his book back toward him with his change.

“I’m always happy to see a returning face.” You said looking up at him, your eyes sparkling. “I’m Y/N by the way, I don’t know if I introduced myself.”

Spencer takes the book and his change; you smile brilliantly at him, and he feels a little enchanted by the bookstore clerk. He returns it. “Spencer. It was nice to meet you.”

He gives you a small wave before walking out, crutches pushing him forward.

The one about Halloween

You have decided that you do not care if it’s only September, you are decorating for Halloween. Maybe it’s that you’re festive or maybe it’s from growing up in a southern community that went all out for decorations, but you are determined that the Midnight Owl will be the place to be for October. You’ve also planned a few events for the spooky month for all ages.

There are a few reading hours planned for children during the day, costume contests, and some trick or treat candy lined up to buy. Your shopping list was filling up quickly. For the nighttime events you’ve gotten together with Josie to throw a movie night every Sunday night at eight in October. You’ve already planned a lineup of movies to play and popcorn to order. You still can’t decide on having two movies or not, a family friendly one first and then a scary one. She’ll figure it out.

To say that you are bubbling with excitement is an understatement.

You're in the middle of dragging out one of the boxes of decorations from the attic when the door chimes open.

“Welcome in! Help yourself to shop or if you wait a few minutes, I can fix you a drink at the cafe!” You shout from behind the large box you’re carrying. It’s not heavy, filled mostly with paper and plastic decorations. The box itself is just quite large, and it blocks your view when you walk.

“What are you doing?” A soft chuckle passes through, and you recognize it immediately. It’s your new favorite regular.

You set the box down in a huff behind the counter and look at Spencer exasperatedly.

“If you must know, I’m preparing for Halloween.” You said matter-of-factly.

Spencer’s hazel eyes light up, the same way he gets when he’s about to tell you a long list of facts about something. You love it when he gets excited. It’s contagious.

“Oh, please continue then. It’s never too early for Halloween.” He said happily.

You let out a burst of laughter and it echoes in the room, “Thank you! Finally, someone who understands.” You tease him.

Spencer’s been coming in almost every night since his first visit. It’s only been a month, but you love talking to Spencer. He’s full of endless information and he loves to read just as much, if not more, than you do.

He has an unfair advantage though. He had admitted how quickly he could read to you in passing a few weeks ago and your jaw dropped. You didn’t believe him at first.

“Okay, that’s the fifth book you’ve finished in like two days Spencer. Are you even actually reading them?” You had teased him, when he returned to the shelves looking through the selections.

“Of course I do. I just happen to read twenty thousand words per minute.” He said easily running his fingers along the spines of the books as he pursues.

You scoff, “Yea right.” you rolled your eyes. “Just say you skim through them.”

Spencer shakes his head, “I’m serious, I have an eidetic memory too.” he said.

You blinked at him a few times in disbelief before just bursting into a fit of small giggles.

“Wow, I wish I could read that fast. I’d get through my TBR so much faster!” you said impressed.

Spencer pauses looking at you, trying to assess if you're trying to make fun of him or not. Your face is split into a wide grin, and he realizes you are intrigued by this little tidbit. You didn't think it was weird, that he’s weird.

Spencer felt his face flush a bit, and he just shrugged it off. “It’s not a big deal.”

“No, it’s just a really cool fact about you.” You said, like it was obvious.

Spencer mouth tighten into a fine line, and he shook his head, “That would be a first.” he had mumbled under his breath.

You didn’t press him, but you did file away in the back of your mind his response for later. Clearly Spencer wasn’t used to someone reacting positively to this tidbit about him.

You look at Spencer as he stands there watching you. He’s in his work clothes, which you're used to by now, but it’s the opposite of what he wore when they first met. He’s in a purple button up shirt that he’s rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. His cardigan is hanging off his faded brown leather satchel sitting against his hip. He’s leaning on his crutches as she assesses him.

“C’mon,” you said waving for him to follow. “Let’s make something fall flavored to get rolling with the season.” You suggest a small smile tugging at your lips.

Spencer just nods and follows you toward the cafe section.

“Are you a fan of pumpkin flavors or do you prefer other autumn flavors?” You ask him as you walk around the counter to the coffee machines.

The pickup counter for the cafe doubles as a normal place to sit and Spencer grabs a stool to sit in, leaning his crutches against the counter.

“I only like my drinks sweet. Flavor isn’t too important.”

You hum in acknowledgement and get to work on making him a drink. “I’ll just surprise you then.”

Spencer brings out a few books he’s reading and places them on the table. While you make his drink you ask, “What’s your favorite book to read to get into the spooky spirit?”

He perks up, “There’s plenty of options, I think I prefer something classic like The Shinning or maybe even an old compilation of ghost stories. Those are always good.” he said passionately.

“Ooh! I’m obsessed with the paranormal!” you gasp in excitement.

Spencer feeds into the enthusiastic response, “Did you know there are a multitude of categories of the paranormal? Most people only associate it with ghosts or demons, but ufology and cryptozoology are also subcategories. Personally, as interesting as ghost or demon possession stories are, I’m far more fascinated by cryptozoology and the creatures that different areas of the world claim to see and state they have proof of.”

Spencer realizes he’s rambling and tries to cut himself off, but your eyes are wide as you actively lean against the counter giving him your rapt attention.

You notice his abrupt stop and you tilt your head, “Keep going, you have my full attention! I’m trying to get into the spooky spirit!” You drawl out, your rich accent seeping through.

You turn to grab his drink and hand it to him. It's in a nice burnt orange colored mug, “It’s a maple chai latte. Felt like fall to me.” you said quietly, having a matching mug with him. You lean against the counter and bat your hand at his forearm.

“C’mon tell me more!” you giggled.

Spencer stared at you in awe for a moment, before he tried to hide his expression through drinking his latte.

“Ghost hunting became popular in the early 2000s, but it’s been around since the 1920’s and even before then there were popular ghost stories told throughout history! Humans have always been interested in the afterlife which is why we’re probably so fascinated by looking for proof of the afterlife.”

You nod and sips from your own mug, “Have you ever watched those ghost hunting shows before?” you asked curiously.

Spencer shook his head no. “I don’t watch a lot of television.”

You hum in thought, “Yeah, that checks out. Well, they’re super cheesy and trashy. Love them to be honest.”

“Which one’s your favorite?” he asked, leaning closer against the bar.

It felt like it was only the two of them in the bookstore. Inside their own bubble, the world moved slowly inside the confines of the Midnight Owl.

“This is gonna sound so awful!” you laughed lightly shaking your head, “There’s a show called Ghost Adventures, and the main guy, Zak Bagans, he’s such a dick to the ghosts! He instigates all the time, and I mean, regardless of if ghosts are real, he goes in hot ! Not to mention he always throws his costar Aaron into the worst places! It’s just insane, absolute trash.” you shake your head in disbelief.

“But you love it?” Spencer asked.

You gave him a deadpan stare, “Oh absolutely, it’s the best kind of quality trash.”

You burst into a fit of giggles and Spencer couldn’t help but find it contagious.

“Aaaaaaanyway~” You drag out, moving to grab your box of decorations.

“Wanna help me decide how to decorate?” you ask him, grabbing a pumpkin garland out of the bin and tossing it dramatically over your shoulders like a scarf.

Spencer brushes his loose hair out of his face and nods. He may still be useless on crutches, but he could help... Kind of.

You empty the containers of the bin on the counter where Spencer’s sitting and he quickly grabs his mug to lift it up to avoid being knocked over from the avalanche of orange and black. You smile at him apologetically before trying to dig out your favorite decorations.

Spencer’s face is twisted in a look of frustration as he sits in the corner reading. He came in a while ago and besides his drink, he hasn’t spoken much to you.

Which isn’t a bad thing, tonight was one of the busier nights. It was mid-October, and the festivities had been nonstop. Tonight was vampire night, which upon entering the building Spencer was already grimacing. There was a special drink deal on the board hanging above the cafe for anyone buying a vampire related book. Twilight , Dracula , Carmilla , Interview with a Vampire, just pick a title it was an option with its own fun themed cafe drink that was absolutely red.

It wasn’t like you knew he had just finished working on a case that involved vampirism, but the odds weren’t in his favor for finding an escape from the most recent case. Halloween season had its ups and downs he supposed.

There was no way of explaining his slightly irritable mood. Spencer hadn’t mentioned his work to you. You never asked, and he didn’t feel like explaining that he spent most of his waking hours profiling serial killers. In the past it hasn’t made the best openers in conversation. It’s also nice to have this small corner of his life not be coated with unsubs, victims, and death. It’s just his favorite bookstore.

Spencer looked up to see you making more drinks, the cafe was popular tonight. Your chatting up another woman who’s laughing at the joke you told her. The other woman is holding a book that Spencer is positive is a vampire novel.

“And I have one raspberry mocha for a Carmilla lover!” your voice rang out and you handed over the drink to the customer.

“Come back Sunday for our movie night, we’re playing Beetlejuice !” you said and waved goodbye to the customer.

For eleven o'clock at night the shop was busy. Busting out drink after drink and ringing up books at the cafe register. It was your idea to do a deal with a themed book and drink combo, but you didn’t expect to still be busy into the night. You hadn’t even had a break in customers to say hello to your regulars.

For business, this was great, for your own mental health, you were struggling. You just needed it to slow down enough to catch your breath. You should have scheduled someone else on shift with you, but you weren’t about to call for help now. It was your mistake, and you'll live with it. You made a note to make sure someone is on shift with you tomorrow night for a different themed deal.

After another round of five more customers there is finally a break. You sighed leaning against the counter and took a grounding breath. You don’t move for a minute, just catch your breath before you look up and catch Spencer from his chair looking at you. You shot him a shaky smile that is supposed to be reassuring but actually looks like you’re about to cry. Spencer’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he decides to get up and come over. The cafe was still bustling but no one was sitting at the counter. Spencer shoves his book into his bag, grabs his crutches and hobbles to the counter.

“Busy night?” he asked, already knowing the answer but trying to see how you were doing.

Your eyes look up into his hazel ones and you look worn. “In my head, the whole vampire boom and Halloween themed event seemed like a good idea. For profit, absolutely. For my sanity? I never wanna see another Twilight shirt or raspberry flavored item for a while.” you said in a groan placing your head against the counter.

“What is Twilight ?” Spencer asked.

He doesn’t know anything except that it has something to do with vampires and its popular enough that the victims of the latest case were also obsessed with it. He knows it’s a book, but besides that, he has no clue.

You slowly move to look up and blink at him for a moment, trying to deduce if he’s being serious or not. “Very funny Spencer, I know you’re not asking what the pop culture phenomenon Twilight franchise is.” you replied with a laugh.

After a moment of looking at Spencer’s confused face you realize he was in fact, unaware. Your eyes widen.

“Wait, wait, wait, you seriously don’t know? I mean it’s like everywhere. The second movie is coming out in less than a month. I don’t think I’ve sold so many copies of a book in my life. I can’t keep New Moon on the shelves.” you said almost exasperatedly, but the smile on your face gave it away. If Spencer didn’t know any better, he’d think you were getting a kick out of it. He knows by now you won’t make fun of him; you're elated for a completely different reason.

“I just know it’s popular and about vampires.” He replied with a shrug.

“Oh my god, I get to explain Twilight to you.” your face splits into a massive grin, your energy returning quickly.

Spencer quirks an eyebrow, “I thought you were over hearing Twilight ?”

“No, no, no, no! This is totally different!” you're almost vibrating with excitement. “I’ve read all the books, I’m gonna let you borrow my copy next time you’re in! Actually, I’ll give you the first two since you read so fast!” her words are running together in a run on sentence she’s talking too fast. Your accent came through stronger than ever with your eagerness.

He doesn’t have it in him to turn you down, you're just so thrilled. Spencer just finds himself too caught up in your joy to tell you he had no interest in the book series. He finds himself agreeing to borrow your copies.

“I can buy them if you need me too. I don’t want to take your copies unless, you’re sure.” He offers.

You shake your head, “I can’t keep them on the shelves long enough for you to buy them. Just go ahead and take my copies.” You move to make Spencer a drink that isn’t one of the red blood themed drinks on the menu. “It’s not a big deal. I do have a lot of sticky notes in there though, my friends and I read it for a book club night.”

He sits up a little straighter, suddenly becoming more interested in reading these books. Not because of their pop culture relevance but because he could read your commentary. There was something special about that, sharing a book with annotations.

“I’ll bring one too.” He finds himself offering before he can think.

Your face glows as you hand him a chai latte. “I’d love that! It’ll take me a bit longer to read than you will.” you joked lightly.

“It’ll be worth it; I haven’t had someone to talk to about books since my mom.” He said looking down at his drink, his eyes growing distant for a split second.

You open your mouth to ask but quickly shut it, biting the inside of your cheek to stop. You might be nosy, but you knew when to not pry. It was how Spencer seemed to be somewhere else in his mind, if only for a moment. It was enough to know that you had no business asking him to open a can of worms he maybe didn’t want to. Instead, you turn around to grab a set of fake vampire teeth to put in your mouth. They were small and awkward and not cute by any means, but if you could get him to smile, that was all you needed.

You patiently wait for Spencer to look back up at as you rest your head in your palm and keep your face neutral. The fake teeth are making your mouth uncomfortable, but you’ll survive.

When Spencer does look up and sees you dramatically batting your eyes at him and grinning madly with children’s plastic vampire teeth, he can’t control the bubbling laughter that takes over him. His shoulders shake with the full body movement, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

“Where did you get those?” he asked through his fit.

You turn to spit them out into the trash, your mouth disgustingly filled with drool from the uncomfortable teeth. You cover your mouth and grab your own drink to flush out your mouth.

“They were a gimmick for the themed drinks tonight.” you finally replied. “Good for a quick joke not for actually wearing.” you said groaning.

“Pretty sure they are made for children’s mouths.” Spencer teased.

You shrug and sigh, “Well, being a vampire for Halloween is off the list of options this year. I don’t want to wear those for a whole night.”

“Probably better off.” He said trying to not immediately focus on Dante and his manager coercing a mentally ill young woman into committing vampire ritual like murders.

“Yeah, the whole thing with that celebrity kinda left a sour taste in my mouth.” you mentioned grimacing.

“Dante?” Spencer asked for clarification.

“Yeah, it was all over the tabloids,” you pointed to the magazine stand by the main register. “Got them in this morning.”

Spencer tries to not make a face as he sees them, “You read that?”

You let out a loud snort of a laugh. “No, no, no, oh god!” you stand up a little straighter and push your hair back. “I don’t trust a TMZ article as far as I can throw it, but those murders are real. Making it look like vampire bites...” you shudder, “that just skeeves me out.”

Spencer drinks from his mug but nods his head in agreement. He didn’t peg you to believe paparazzi reports. The magazine articles would be wrong anyway; they didn’t make the arrest until that afternoon. It was refreshing to see someone not believe everything they read.

“If vampires are off your list, what other costumes are you thinking about?” he asked, trying to change the subject.

“No idea.” you groan out in irritation. “I usually do group costumes with my friends but, kind of hard when they live 600 miles away.”

“South?” he asked.

You snorted with a roll of your eyes, “Aw geez what gave it away?” you tease with an exaggerated drawl, making your accent thicker than normal.

Spencer shakes his head in amusement. “Very funny. Why move here?”

You tense up, avoiding his doe eyes. You look down biting your lip nervously. “It’s uh, a long story.” you said quietly.

Your body almost looks like it’s trying to shrink in on itself. Spencer doesn’t need to be a profiler to understand your body language. Whatever it is, you’re not ready to share it.

Instead, he tries to be reassuring that he’s not prying for information.

“I’m a transplant too. I grew up in Las Vegas.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, “I’ve never been, is it really just the strip filled with casinos or are there nice pockets of peace and no tourists?” you asked.

You sigh, “It is a lot of tourists. There’s plenty of local places, ones that are only there if you’ve grown up knowing how to get to them.” he told you in a quiet voice, almost conspiratorially.

Your mouth splits into a smile that reaches your eyes, “So you’ll be my tour guide, right?”

Spencer’s face heats up from the suggestion and your giggles fill the room.

“I’m just teasing you,” you pat his arm reassuringly before going to grab a pastry from the front display.

“Come on and split this last cookie with me, I know I'm not going to sell it.” you said grabbing a chocolate chip cookie and warming it up before cutting it in half.

Spencer’s face is still tinted pink but the soft cookie and the way it melts when he bites into it and seeing you look happier than earlier, is enough for him. A small corner of peace in the world inside the Midnight Owl.

The one after Haley’s funeral

You’re sitting at the checkout counter reading the book Spencer most recently traded with you. It’s one of the Sherlock Homles books, which you had admittedly never read before. You've watched plenty of films and shows but reading it never really crossed your mind.

You joked about making Spencer watch The Great Mouse Detective when you finished so you could explain your first introduction to Sherlock Holmes. He had no idea what you were talking about, which you found charming in its own way. You loved introducing Spencer to the pop culture media that just filled your brain. Even if it was trashy. You had promised him The Great Mouse Detective was anything but trash. A childhood classic for sure.

You take your time reading the books Spencer lent. He started leaving small post-it notes for you in them with commentary and questions. It was like you two had your own language, and it was books. Even if he let you borrow a genre you had no interest in, you suddenly were invested. It was a way to get to know him, and in turn he took your books happily. Your annotations were way more scattered brained and filled with tiny commentary to yourself.

You saw Spencer reading one of the books you let him borrow and he laughed, loudly, in the middle of the store. You both flushed in embarrassment. It was a busy night, filled with university students studying late at night, so it was mostly silent besides the music that was playing through the speakers. You knew you had written something insulting about one of the characters in that sticky note. You were creative with your insults, and you had completely forgotten to take that out before giving it to him. Spencer teased you about your comments on Gale from The Hunger Games for the rest of that night.

You’re in the middle of The Hounds of Baskerville when the door opens. You look up to greet them but your face falls when you see Spencer, he looks terrible. You slowly close the book and move to walk toward him.

His eyes were hollow and the normal dark circles under his eyes seemed impossibly darker than usual. Spencer just seemed sad and defeated. You hadn’t seen this side of him and all you wanted to do was press your thumb to his forehead and smooth out the furrow of his brow. To get him to relax, if only for a moment.

“Hey honey, what’s wrong?” you asked gently walking toward him. You reach out to rub his arms affectionately, “What happened?”

Your voice is soft and sweet, the way you said honey with your southern drawl feels like a hug. Spencer just needed a minute. One second of peace. The image of Haley’s body unmoving with blood still fresh behind his eyes.

“It’s been a long week.” His voice comes out a little rough. He’s haggard from the flight from Nashville and he really didn’t want to go home.

The only comforting place he could think of immediately was the Midnight Owl, of you. Your warm voice and comforting drinks were the only things he could stand to be around.

Your face softens at his words, and you tilt your head, “Do you need a hug?” you asked softly.

There’s a shaky sigh that escapes Spencer’s mouth and he just nods his head, unable to form the words.

You pull him into your embrace gently, your arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly. You rub soothing circles into his back and Spencer holds onto your waist. Your body radiates heat and it's comforting as he shoves his face into your shoulder. You smell like vanilla, cloves, and parchment paper and his whole body relaxes into you. You hold onto him until Spencer pulls away, not wanting him to feel like he was a burden. The store was empty anyway, it's been a slow night.

He takes a deep breath before peeling himself off. He moves his hands to hold your arms so he’s supporting himself. Your eyes soften as you look him over, her hand coming up to cup his face.

“You don’t have to talk about if you don’t want to, but I’ve been told I’m a great listener.” You whisper softly.

Spencer relaxes against your touch and doesn’t say much, just hums in response. He eventually finds his words, “My friends wife died recently, and it just, it was a shock.”

He doesn’t want to get into how Haley died. That his job makes him and his coworkers targets. The people they love. George Foyet died at Hotch’s hands for killing Haley and attempting to kill Jack. Spencer watched Hotch’s face crumble, fall and lose what he loved the most. He knew Hotch didn’t want to divorce Haley, he loved her and his son with his whole heart.

That love had cost him Haley’s life.

“Oh hun,” your voice brings him back, “I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head, “I’ll be fine. I’m just processing it.”

“You don’t have to justify yourself to me, you’re allowed to process and grieve, especially if you knew her.” you tell him firmly. “C’mon, go sit down and I’m gonna make a delicious warm drink and we can just relax alright?”

Spencer gives a tiny, tight smile and lets you grab his hand to pull him to one of the nicer chairs. He sets his cane against the arm rest and is floored by how easy everything is with you.

You don’t push or pry for information, let him ramble, and Spencer doesn’t think he’s had a real friend outside of the BAU in a long time, much less someone his age. As much as he loves his team, there are times where they don’t understand him. It’s a lot easier to be himself with you. Maybe it’s because you don’t know what he’s doing most of his days, and he could argue with himself that you don’t know him. Almost 90% of his life is the BAU, and who is he if he isn’t Dr. Spencer Reid, FBI agent in the Behavioral Analyst Unit? A small part of him hopes he could be the person he becomes when he enters the Midnight Owl.

He’s too lost in his thoughts to notice you walking over with two steaming mugs.

“Here, it’s just tea but I think you need a relaxing drink. No caffeine.” you said with a sweet tone looking him over.

You sit on the arm rest of the chair cradling your own mug. “Can I try something?” you ask him.

Spencer drinks from his mug, but he mutters an agreement under his breath.

“Lean back fully in the chair.” you instructed.

He does as he’s told, he lowers his hands to his lap, mug still warmly pressed into his hands. Spencer isn’t sure what you’re trying to do until your hands are running through his hair, feather light. You’re not massaging his scalp, just the lightest of touches as you card your fingers through his long hair. Spencer’s eyes close and he almost moans from how the tension leaves his body immediately.

You let out a tiny snort but continue the motions.

“My momma used to do this when I was little.” you whisper to him, keeping a low voice.

“I would be asleep in an instant.” you emphasized with a quiet snap of your fingers.

Spencer’s eyes flutter open to look up at you, his big doe eyes looking up to see your soft features be highlighted in the warm glow of the lamps. You look down at him and tilt your head.

“I might pass out like this.” he murmured in a low voice.

“You can if you want. Promise I won’t let anyone bother you... not that anyone’s coming in anytime soon.” You drawl out looking around at the empty shop.

“Just a quick nap, twenty minutes.” he told you, voice already fading and his eyes growing heavy.

You don’t respond to him, just continue stroking his hair until he falls asleep. He felt the warm mug leave his hands and he heard ceramic clank onto the wooded side table next to him.

You watch Spencer sleep, giving him much longer than twenty minutes. His dark circles told enough; he needed this nap more than he was letting on. It takes less than five minutes for Spencer to pass out. His body relaxed into the chair with all tension leaving his body. You slow down your movements until you feel safe enough to stop. His small snore a sign he was asleep.

You moved to stand and went back to your duties, which wasn’t anything more than inventory tonight. Mondays were always slow.

You moved about the bookshop, filing away books, crossing off things on your checklist, and beside the few customers that came in for less than twenty minutes each, the night was quiet. Enough so that you let Spencer sleep much longer than twenty minutes.

Spencer sleeps peacefully for most of the night. You check on him occasionally, and besides the few snores, he’s sound asleep.

Around four in the morning he stirs awake, blinking blearily and looks around the store. You hear him and poke your head out from behind a shelf.

“Good morning sunshine!” you teased in a chipper tone.

Spencer looks at you confused before looking down at his watch. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” he asked, tone not accusing, just confused.

You shrug and make your way over to him, “You looked like you needed the sleep.”

You gently reach your hand up to smooth the furrow of his brow. “You’ll die young from all that stress you’re carrying on your shoulders.” You tell him softly. The way you’re gently touching his forehead is like you’re trying to erase the stress and pressure.

Spencer sighs into the light touch, “For sleeping on a chair, it was pretty peaceful.” he murmurs.

You snort in amusement. “Well, at least I know they’re comfy.”

“I sleep on planes frequently, so this is much better.” he said.

“Travel a lot for work?” you asked.

Spencer just nods. Not wanting to explore too deep into his job. The job that was leaving him sleepless most nights.

“Do you feel any better?” you ask quietly.

He nods solemnly. “Better than when I arrived.” he said with a shrug.

You frown but don’t press, you push his hair back again giving him a reassuring smile.

“I’m a good listener if you ever need to talk. Promise.” You hold out your pinky finger in the childish gesture of a pinky promise.

Spencer finds himself smiling, finding it charming. Regardless of his problem with germs, it doesn’t feel so intense with you. You’re not a stranger anymore. He hooks his pinky with yours.

“Not now.” He whispers. “But someday...”

“Someday.” you reaffirm.

The one about family

Spencer’s surprised to see that you’re not working one random night in November. He knows that, of course, You can’t possibly be working every single night he comes in. It just throws him off when he doesn’t see you immediately. The sunshine woman behind the bar making him a new sickly-sweet coffee to try. You’ve only ever missed one day max two, so he doesn’t think much of it. Just a blip on his night.

One night without you suddenly turns into half a week. Every day Spencer walks in and it’s not your bright bubbly voice greeting him. It’s one of the handful of people who work the late-night shift. They aren’t strangers, Spencer’s ran into a couple of them occasionally. So, when Spencer comes into the bookstore to see, yet again, Robert, manning the front desk lazily flipping through a magazine, his mild frustration turns to worry. You've been gone for four days and none of your coworkers seem to know why.

What if you’re sick? What if something happened to you? Did you take a vacation? What if you’re in danger?

The thoughts consume Spencer so much he almost calls Garcia to track you down. Or at least give him your address to check on you. He pulls himself together and realizes that it would be a bad idea and an invasion of your privacy. He’ll just have to wait it out.

Spencer does wait, mostly because he’s forced too. The BAU never truly stops working.

When he finally sees you again it’s near the tail end of November and way too close to Thanksgiving for his liking. He feels like you've been gone for ages, but it’s only been two weeks. The door chimes behind him as he walks in, he’s expecting to see your eyes light up with a smile on your flushed pink cheeks. The way you’ve always greeted him.

Instead, he sees a side of you that he’s not used to at all. You look tired, exhausted. The dark circles under your eyes could compete against his natural ones. You’re wearing glasses which he’s never seen on you before. Her hair is haphazardly tied up, and You're in a large well-worn sweater that reads, ‘Read Banned Books’. He doesn’t think you've slept much, if at all, since he last saw you.

You look like a zombie, barely functioning.

You don’t even register Spencer enter; you're standing at the checkout counter finishing a transaction with a customer. You're swaying on your feet the whole time.

Spencer lets you finish the interaction before coming over to the counter, concern clear on his face.

“Y/N?” He says your name softly as he approaches.

Your eyes fly up to him and widen a little in surprise, your body reacts with a small flinch. “Oh god Spencer!” You give a soft laugh, your hand coming up to clutch your chest, “You scared me! I didn’t hear you come in.” you try to calm yourself down.

Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes and Spencer can tell. It doesn’t take a profiler to see you’re not yourself. Her eyes are only half open, your hands shaking from what he can only assume is the obscene amount of caffeine you probably have in your system. Everything just seems muted, not the bright colors he used to see you framed in.

“Are you feeling okay? You’ve been gone for a while.” he prompts, trying to get something out of you. A clue to what might have happened. Anything.

You shake your head, “I’m fine, everything’s fine.” You said it a little too quickly.

Spencer doesn’t buy it, but he’s kept enough secrets to himself to know he probably shouldn’t go looking into friends’ private lives. Some things he knows he’d rather keep to himself... but seeing you like this, he wants to help.

You avoid his eyes and start to play with your hands on the counter. “I-” you open your mouth but promptly shut it again. You bite your cheek with a frown plastered on your face.

“Sorry, it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter.” you said quickly before turning to grab some books from behind the desk to busy yourself with.

You don't want to talk about or think about it. It’s been a long two weeks, and you just need some normalcy. Something that you know you can do and enjoy.

You feel Spencer’s eyes burning into you. You try to keep your usual high energy, you truly do. Everything has been so rough this month; you just need a break. The bookstore was your one solace. The Midnight Owl wasn’t just a job, it was your home. Your safe haven.

You didn’t want to bring your real life here, not when sometimes your only highlight is seeing Spencer and sharing books back and forth. If he starts asking about your life outside the four walls of your shop, you don’t know if you can hold yourself together. Not today.

“Y/N,” he opens his mouth trying to get your attention again.

“Really Spencer, it’s fine, I’m fine!” you tell him, a short tone to your voice.

You spin on your heels to walk somewhere, anywhere, else. “You know I have your book actually, let me return it. I left some notes in there.” You make it five or six steps before you falter and sways again. Spencer reaches out to grab and steady you.

“Forget the book, you don’t look fine.” He makes you face him. “You look exhausted.” He chastises you.

You deflate immediately and let Spencer guide you to a chair. He gently sets you down and he pries the book out of your hand and places it on the side table.

“Sorry, you don’t have to take care of me.” you murmur feebly swatting him away. “I just...” You take a deep breath. “I had to take dad to the hospital on Tuesday and it’s just been downhill all week...” you admit timidly. You pushed your glasses up to your hairline and pressed the heels of your palm to your eyes.

“I haven’t gotten much sleep.” you admit.

“You’ve run yourself ragged.” Spencer lowers himself to be eye level with you. “Is he home now?” he asks gently.

“No, they’re keeping him one more night.” you said with a heavy sigh.

Your arms fell in between your knees, and you lean your head back exhausted. “It’s just been hard this past year...” your voice is small and lingers with sadness.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly.

Spencer maybe doesn’t like talking about his hardships, but he’ll listen to yours if you let him. He wants to desperately ease your mind, see you smile.

You look up at him, eyes wide as you assess him. “I don’t want to put my problems on you Spencer.” you give a tight smile. “I’ll figure it out.”

Spencer reaches out to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Talking about it doesn’t mean that you’re inconveniencing me. I'm just worried.”

You sigh, already feeling him chip away at you. You didn’t stand a chance against his big doe eyes looking at you like you were fragile.

You take a deep breath before answering him, “My dad has ALS, he was diagnosed a few years ago... I’ve been taking care of him.” you admit.

“Where we were, the doctors just weren’t cutting it. So, I did some research and of course there were stellar doctors in DC... plus my baby sister came here for university so I just thought... maybe it would be easier. On all of us.” The tone of your voice gives your worry away.

“Anyway, he just, he had an accident and fell down the other day. His legs are finally giving out and he’s being so stubborn about needing a wheelchair.” Your voice shakes and you close your eyes.

“It’s been a long week.” you finally admit looking up at Spencer with watery eyes.

Spencer understands. He’s spent most of his life taking care of his mom because of her own illness. While your dad is suffering from something different, he understands. Probably more than you realize.

“I get it, I do.” he said. You go to retort, but he cuts you off. “I took care of my mom for a long time. She...” He pauses looking at you, debating for a moment on if he should tell you.

“My mom has schizophrenia, and I committed her when I was eighteen.” he tells you with a tight frown.

“It’s hard to take care of your parents, especially when it’s their job to take care of us.” He tells you sincerely.

You have tears pricking your eyes, “Oh Spencer, I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head, “I’m telling you this because I understand. I promise I do, it’s not easy.”

You take a shaky breath; your heart feels like it’s a thousand pounds. “Does it ever get easier?” you ask softly.

Spencer squeezes your hand, “No, it doesn’t. There are happy moments though. Moments where you know you’re doing the right thing, even if it’s difficult.”

You sniffle and wipes your face, “Thanks, I uh, I needed that.” you said with a small smile.

It’s getting closer to Christmas. The bookstore is decorated and busier than ever. There’s a handful of special events but between people coming in to buy presents and university students staying all night to study for finals, you have your hands full.

There’s a second staff member working nights with you this month until the holiday break starts for the store. You and Josie were adamant about closing the bookstore between Christmas Eve and New Years. If someone needed a book that badly they could go to a big box store.

What you really don’t need right now is your baby sister coming to your place of work and harassing you about Christmas and your dad.

“Bridget, I don’t have time to discuss this with you right now!” you hiss out at your younger sister. “You didn’t spend Thanksgiving with us and daddy really wants you to come home just for Christmas.” you chastised your sister with a frown.

You have a pause in customers for the moment, but you know that the large study group is coming in half an hour like they have been for the past week and half.

“That’s not fair Magpie!” your sister groans in frustration using your nickname to try and be sweet. “I made these plans months ago; Mark really wants me to spend Christmas with his family.”

You cross your arms and look at your sister sadly. “Birdie, we don’t know how much time we get with dad-” you start but is cut off.

Bridget’s face scrunches in disgust at her sister’s words and huffs exaggeratedly. “Good god Y/N! He’s not gonna die over the holidays, stop fucking guilt trippin’ me over every decision because it doesn’t revolve around dad!”

Bridget’s annoyed and you can tell, she always tries to skirt around her problems when she’s frustrated. She thinks you’re trying to back her into a corner.

“Birdie-”

“It’s Bri. I go by Bri here.” Her sister crosses her arms and looks at you in annoyance.

“Look, I know dad’s sick, I’m not stupid.”

“I didn’t say you were Bridget.” you said defensively.

She rolled her eyes, “I didn’t decide to pack everything up and move dad out to DC. Just because you’re closer doesn’t mean I’m going to stop living my life to take care of daddy.”

You bite your tongue. Trying to not fight with your sister, but your irritation rises in your throat. Burning words of resentment linger in your mind.

“Fine. Would you please just call him on Christmas and please come by after the New Year. He really misses you.” You try to plead with your sister.

Bridget just waves goodbye as she walks out the door, “Will do. See you next year Magpie.” she almost ran out the door.

You deflate, your shoulders dropping. You almost don’t hear Spencer walking up next to you holding a gift bag in his hands.

“I didn’t know your sister visited you.” he said.

You look up at him and smile at your favorite regular. Your friend. You think they’re allowed to call each other friends now. He already saw you cry and that was a big step.

You shake your head, “Yeah, we’re not as close as we used to be.” you mumble under your breath.

Spencer nods his head. He never had any siblings, but he can read your face well enough to know you’re not thrilled.

“Still close enough for nicknames, Magpie?” he asked, biting back a smile.

“Childhood nicknames, Birdie and Magpie. Cause we were birds of a feather.” You said looking down at your hands sadly.

“It’s fine.” you shrug it off and give a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. You lean against the counter. “What’s that you got there?” you asked, changing the subject.

You’re pointing to the gift bag in his hands. You tilt your head curiously.

“Oh, this is,” he flushes for a split second rushing his words out. “This is for you. I know you’re closing for the holiday soon and I don’t know if I’ll have a last-minute work call or not so., I brought your Christmas present.” He fumbled through his words quickly, but he held out the small bag.

You light up immediately. Your eyes shimmer with excitement. “Aww, Spencer! This is so kind thank you!”

You bend down below the counter and grabs your own item, “I actually have your present too.” you said shyly, handing him a wrapped package.

Spencer is quiet as he gently takes the gift from you, a tiny smile on his face. He brushes his hair back out of his face as he looks at you softly.

“This is so kind thank you.”

Giddy giggles consume you, and you hold the gift bag. “Should we open them together or do you want to wait until Christmas?” you asked.

Spencer shakes his head, “No no, you can open it now.” He reassures you.

You smile, biting the inside of your cheek and open your present. Under the tissue paper is a sweater that’s twice your size and it’s the softest thing you’ve ever felt. You pull it out and it’s a purple crocheted sweater with a beautiful sun right in the middle. It reminds you of one of the tapestries from the late nineties that would have been in Practical Magic or something like that.

“Oh Spencer, this is perfect.” you say quietly holding it tightly to your chest. “Thank you so much, I love it.”

You pull off your cardigan and immediately shove the sweater on. You nestle yourself inside it and grins widely, “It matches your scarf!”

Spencer just takes in your joy and how you light up, and he’s happy he could make you feel better.

“Well go on open yours!” you said excitedly pushing your wrapped package toward him.

Spencer gently peels back the wrapping paper and uncovers a white box; he opens the box to find a ceramic mug. It's custom made, with some uneven texture. It’s glazed a speckled purple and wrapped around the bottom is a quote, “Some books are so familiar that reading them is being home again.” -L.M. Alcott

Spencer is quietly inspecting it, and you start explaining. You push your hair behind your ear, “I uh, I took a pottery class in my free time this past year. Since you’re here so much I thought you would like your own mug.” you said hesitantly.

Spencer’s eyes widen, “You, you made this? For me?” he asked in surprise.

You nod, looking down at the counter nervously.

Spencer makes his way around the counter and pulls you into a tight hug. “This is the best gift anyone's ever gotten me.” he whispers to you.

You return the hug holding Spencer tightly. You press your face into his shoulder, and you feel infinitely better than how your night started.

When they pull apart you play with the edge of the new sweaters' sleeves, a small blush on your face. “Do you go visit your mama for holidays?” you asked him.

Spencer shakes his head, “Not all the time. My job doesn’t usually care if it’s a holiday or not.” he tells you.

You nod, “Well, I hope you get to this year Spencer. I’m sure she’d love to see you.”

He takes a shaky breath and nods in agreement. “Yeah, I’ll try to see her soon.”

You nudge him lightly, trying to keep the tone light, “Want a fresh drink in your new mug?” you tease.

Spencer chuckles but nods his head. “I’d love that.”

“We’re about to test run if I’m actually good at pottery. So, fingers crossed it doesn’t leak.” you joke moving to the cafe counter at the back of the store.

Spencer watches you walk away, with a skip in your step like the first night he came to the Midnight Owl. The way you easily glide through the crowd and chatter with customers and giggling.

You shine bright like a star, like the sun.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #x reader

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lailols · 2 days ago

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Kai's Pretty Girlfriend [2]: Step Two

Hueningkai x Reader, eventual OT5 x Reader [3k ish words]

Warnings: thigh riding, kinda mean dom kai, sub reader, unprotected sex, dub con (Kai does things under the assumption that since the guys like the reader, they won't mind and while he's right, he still doesn't ask for consent), exhibitionism, voyeurism

Movie nights are a bit of a sacred tradition between the six of you. The only reason they work so well with your busy schedules is because you all make an effort to spend time together. It might seem silly, but you all push through fatigue and a promise of a good night sleep if it means you’ll spend even just two hours with each other. So maybe Kai should feel a little more remorseful for tainting them.

It’s for the greater good! He thinks to himself as he lets his hands travel down the front of your body under the blanket covering the two of you. Making sure to stop at your covered tits to give them some love. Pinching and pulling them through your shirt just a bit before traveling lower. You’re ever so pliant for him. He tells himself it’s because you’re such a good girl but he knows it’s probably because of the four guys sitting right next to you.

Well, right next to you is a bit of an exaggeration. You and Kai take the loveseat as the resident love birds while the guys pile onto the couch. They could very well see what’s going on if not for the action movie playing on the TV. Kai should probably know what it is, but he didn’t even bother to pay attention when they explained the two-part series because he knew he’d have more pressing matters to attend to. Namely, you.

He decides he should have some decorum, at least at the start. It’ll be no fun if you’re found out so soon after all. He just lets his hand wander under the blanket and your skirt to check what he already knows. Of course, you’re wet for him. Knowing you, you’ve been wet since you got to the dorm for the movie night. Kai was not secretive about the things he wanted to do to you, making sure to strip you of your panties and work you open for him as soon as he got his hands on you.

But that just makes this all the more fun. He keeps you still on his lap through the first movie but doesn’t let you rest. Instead, he trails his hands up and down your waist, sometimes letting them go up to fondle your tits some more and sometimes letting them go lower fluttering around but never where you need him most.

About halfway through the second movie, he turns you around on his lap, making sure to keep the blanket in place. You go willingly, letting him manhandle you into a different position and just tuck your head onto his shoulder with your face turned out to the TV. No doubt, it's a very uncomfortable position, but you don’t whine or complain. But Kai knows you well enough to know that your silence will go away very soon.

He takes a glance at the guys to see what they’re up to and finds them all glued to the screen. It seems like a fight scene is on and they’re all adamantly watching it. Yeonjun is leaning a bit out of his seat on the couch to see better while Soobin is resting his head on the back of the couch probably fighting sleep. Taehyun and Beomgyu are squished in between the two also fixed on the tv. Kai takes that as being in the clear to continue.

He starts off slow and simply grabs your hips to adjust your position from on his lap to hovering over his thigh. Setting you down and leaning to your ear to whisper, “Go ahead, sweetie. Don’t you wanna get off?”

Your hands twitch where they’re rested between the two of you before moving to his shoulders, squeezing. “But the guys…”

“I don’t think I mentioned them, did I?” He uses his grip to push you down onto his thigh, flexing the muscle. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You were so wet when I checked earlier. I’m not gonna help you out, so get started before I change my mind.”

You mutter something he can’t hear before rolling your hips against him. Shifting your head into his neck to hide your gasp. The rough fabric against your bare cunt doesn’t feel as good as you were hoping but you’re not gonna complain. You start off with a slow movement, too aware of the other people in the room with you.

Your hands flex on Kai's shoulders as you move yourself over his thigh. You quickly soak Kai’s pants which makes you run hot, but it does aid the slide. His flexing every so often also helps, but besides that, he leaves his hands at your hips and doesn't talk to you. It makes you feel so needy and desperate as if he didn't get you like this.

You crave his hands on you. Want his hands to wander down to the crease where your ass meets your thighs and grip. Want him to guide your movements above him like he usually does. Want him to trace your thighs and pinch at your skin while laughing at the tears his touch brings. But since he isn't, it's up to you to bring yourself pleasure, grinding against his thigh while you muffle your sounds against his skin.

You eventually build up a good rhythm that isn’t too noticeable while still working yourself to the edge. But that’s the problem. You’re only on the edge. It feels like you’ve been doing this for so long. Short pants leave your mouth from the effort and you angle your hips just right to rub your clit against his thigh.

But even that doesn’t help much. It feels so good and you know you’ve gotten off with less before, so why is it so hard? You just wanted to come, is that so much to ask? Kai has had you wound up since you walked into the dorm and this could be the sweet relief you needed but of course, it’s not that easy. A grunt of displeasure leaves your lips.

You never liked doing the work, content to let Kai move you as he wishes. Hell, you don’t even like riding him all that much. It doesn’t take much longer before you’re whimpering into his neck and clutching his shoulders, on the verge of tears because your thighs hurt and you’re no closer to coming than you were before all this.

“Kai.” You whisper into his skin. “I can’t. Help me?”

“Of course, you can’t. Dumb thing always needs me to help her out, hm?” Kai makes sure to let out a sigh before moving his hand from your hip to your cunt. He uses two fingers to open your folds and circle your entrance before continuing. “You just can’t help it though, can you? Always need me to make you feel good, right?”

“Need you. Need you.” You agree as you push your hips closer to his hand, urging him to get inside you. “Please. Please? I’ll be good, promise.”

He takes that as the okay to push two fingers into you. You gasp at the intrusion and clench around them. “I can’t help if you do let me in, pretty. I prepped you earlier, loosen up.”

You take a deep breath before relaxing into his hold once again. He mutters a ‘good’ to you before spreading his fingers inside you and thrusting them in and out. You try to keep your sounds down, you really do, but Kai knows how to make you feel good. He knows which parts to prod and press at to have you seeing stars and he doesn’t even try to help you out.

Not even bothering to be nice, instead playing with you in a way that he knows makes you loud. He doesn't bat an eye at how you bite your lip and squeeze his shoulders because he knows you'll be good. Knows you’ll take whatever he gives you and you will, but it’s hard. How can he expect you to be quiet when he’s doing this to you?

“Kai.” You moan out when he pushes his fingers to that spot that makes you feel so so good and grip his shoulders tighter. “I can- you can’t do that.”

“And why not?” He asks as he teases a third finger at your entrance. “I thought you wanted my help, baby. Am I not helping?”

“No, no, you are. Bu-“ You’re cut off by another moan escaping from his movements. “I can’t be quiet like this.”

“You can, baby." He pulls his fingers out to readjust before thrusting three into you with his thumb making a home on your clit. "I know you can be good for me.”

“I can’t.” He presses a kiss to your head, telling you to continue. "Not like this."

“Well, then you’ll just be loud.” His movements get more rough, each time he thrusts his fingers in he spreads them out mapping your core but making sure at least one of them is hitting that spongey spot inside you. “I know that’s what you wanted anyways, hm? Baby needs attention all the time. I’m not enough for you?”

“No!" You jolt at your volume before resting your head further into Kai's neck to continue. "No. Kai- Hyuka that’s not it, please.”

"Well, what do you want, hm?" His free hand travels to your waist and pinches hard making the tears that pooled in your eyes earlier spill over and whimpers leave your mouth. "I'm trying to help you out and all you're doing is complaining."

"Sor- 'm sorry." You cry out. "Just feel so good, you make me feel so good, I can't be quiet."

"My sweet girl." He purrs, bringing his hand from your clit to cradle your face, making sure to smear your wetness on your face. "My poor sweet girl. How could I forget? How dare I forget how dumb you get when I get my hands on you? That's okay, I'll make you listen."

He slides two fingers into your mouth and continues his ministrations below. And this feels good. Oh, it feels amazing, but then you realize that you don’t want to come like this. You tap his shoulder a few times and he slides his fingers out.

“I need you.” You trail your hands down to pull at the hem of his pants. “Please, please?”

“For how worried you were before, it seems like you want them to know how much of a slut you are.” He chances a glance at the guys to find them still watching the movie. Now, whether that’s out of respect or genuine interest is not determined. “Should I just take the blanket off of you? Let them see for real?”

You shake your head but continue pulling on his hemline. "No, 'm just need you. Need you. Please?" And for as hard as Kai can be on you, he really likes to give you what you want. He likes making you feel good. Likes turning you whiney and making you cry and beg for what you want just so he can give you it and so much more. Maybe that’s why you continue to ask for more, knowing whatever you take he returns tenfold.

“Lift up a bit.” You raise onto your knees to give him room to slide his dick out. “Bite my shoulder, sweet thing. So you’re not too loud.”

You were about to retort but when he guides you onto him, you quickly bite down to keep in your sounds. Kai's not helping any with the way he travels his hands up from your hips and to your stomach to press on the bulge he's leaving in your tummy making you choke down a moan.

“This is what you needed, hm?” He says as he picks you up a bit to fix his footing. “Always need me to do all the work, right baby? Pretty thing can’t get off by herself, but that’s okay, I’ll help you out.”

He takes to moving you up and down his cock but never letting you go all the way down so there’s no sound of skin hitting skin. Not that the lack of sound would matter much because you’re not quiet whatsoever. You poor thing, gripping his shoulders so tightly and digging your teeth in so hard but even that isn’t stopping your sounds.

You probably don’t even realize, too caught up in the feeling of wanting a release so desperately that you can’t think of anything else. Kai likes it when you get like this. So lost in the way he makes you feel. It makes him want to devour you but more than that, makes him want to show you off. Show the world how good you are, how sweet you sound.

He looks up to check if the guys are still watching the TV and they are but it’s clear their minds are elsewhere. All of their ears are tinted red and they’re all sitting ramrod straight, adjusting every now and then.

Kai wants to say something, but he didn’t talk to you about how far he could push and, honestly, you’d agree to anything he’d ask of you right now but would it be genuine? Or would you just be agreeing so you could come? He doesn’t have much time to assess before your keening and pulling off his shoulder to beg.

“Kai! ‘m gonna- gonna come.” You choke out as your hands go from his shoulders to his neck, tilting your head up towards him. “Kiss? Please?"

“You never have to ask, love.” He bends down to meet your lips, sliding his tongue into your waiting mouth. “Go ahead and come for me, baby.” He whispers into your lips. “You’ve been so good, you deserve it.” He slams you down onto his lap and moves his hand to your clit, passing over it once, twice, until you’re coming around him.

When you’re finished riding out your high, he pulls himself out of you and hushes your whines with a sweet kiss before he picks you up to pull up his pants and carries you out of the living room. Leaving his friends and group mates to sit in silence (besides the movie credits rolling) with awkward boners and flushes on their faces. When he lays you down on the bed, he kisses you again as he strips you of your clothes.

“Did I do good? Hyuka?” You ask even though he already said it, craving his words.

“So good, baby.” He pulls down his pants and enters you again. “Always so good for me. My perfect little slut, yeah?”

His words may grow more brazen but his thrusts are slow and deep. His hands are sweet as they guide your legs over his shoulders. You love Kai in all of his moods but this one might be your favorite. The way his hands trace your body as if your glass but his mouth runs a mile a minute. Telling you how you were so good and so quiet that he almost thought he wasn’t making you feel good. Saying how he’ll just have to make you scream now to make sure he can still satisfy you.

He continues to ramble as he travels his hands to interlock with yours and bring them above your head. Rocking into you and reaching so far you swear you feel him in your throat, as impossible as that is. It feels so good, he feels so good, you can’t help the little ahs that leave your mouth.

He makes you both reach the edge like that, rambling off about anything and everything before sliding himself out of you and grabbing something to clean you off. Then pulling you into his arms and whispering sweet nothings to you until you fall asleep interlocked together.

Kai expected a talk after you were less than subtle during movie night, but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing to be scolded by his friends.

Taehyun, Soobin, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu are currently standing in front of the couch where you and Kai are cuddling. Taehyun is standing with his hands in his pockets looking bored, Soobin is fiddling with his hands and looks as if he'd rather be anywhere else, Yeonjun has his arms crossed and is tapping his foot, and Beomgyu looks excited that he isn't currently being scolded.

"Is there anything you guys need?" Kai asks casually as he adjusts your position to sitting up.

"You guys can't sit together for movie nights anymore," Yeonjun says with shockingly little remorse considering the fact that he just ripped Kai's heart out and stomped on it in less than ten words.

"What?"

"Why not?" You and Kai share a look of shock and devastation before turning back to them.

"Well, putting aside the fact that you don't even pretend to pay attention to the movie, you also are very distracting to those of us who do want to watch the movie," Taehyun responds.

"How are we distracting?" Kai asks.

"Y/n doesn't even attempt to be quiet an-" Beomgyu is cut off by your gasp as you turn to Kai.

"You told me I was quiet!" You shoot him a look of pure betrayal that Kai has to look away from in shame.

"Well, maybeee you weren't as quiet as I was telling you," Kai proceeds to defend himself (read: lie through his fucking teeth), "You always try so hard to be good for me, I couldn't handle breaking the truth to you."

You don't spare him another glance before looking at the guys in remorse, "I'm so sorry that someone is a lying asshole, I didn't mean to stop you guys from enjoying movie nights."

"No, y/n, it's not your fault," Soobin stops before you can overthink. "We completely blame Kai. It wasn't even that big of a problem, we really wouldn’t have minded if it wasn’t during movie night!”

“You wouldn’t have minded?” You ask surprised. Soobin promptly flushes.

“I- I mean, if you’re comfortable- but like- we don’t mind- I mean I can’t speak for them but-“

“What Soobin is so eloquently saying is that you’re hot y/n,” Beomgyu chimes in, not even flinching at the scorching glare Soobin sends his way. “We’d be crazy to not want to see you fall apart so prettily.”

“Oh.” You’re rendered speechless while Kai struggles to keep his smile at bay. This means Step Two is a success as well! He’s two for two. Damn. He should’ve placed a bet with someone. Or maybe not because when he thinks about it, Step Three needs a bit of revision...

Step Two is done!! Yippie! This took so long because chapter three had me in a chokehold (and I was sick). Love ya! Let me know what you think!

What is Kai's revision to step three? The guys have watched so long, do you think they'll break and start doing something?

#txt x reader #hueningkai x reader #txt #tomorrow x together #hueningkai #hueningkai smut #txt smut

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faithshouseofchaos · 2 days ago

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Inspired by the Mexican GP, can you write something about Lydia and Checo and Carola kids having a play date?? Please

I’d rather have the trophy— Lydia Verstappen princess of the paddock part 13

Word count— 1113

Fluff

Other tag list — @ashy-kit @astraeaworld @alwayzbeenale @a-casual-romantic @bblouifford @bbtoni @barcelonaloverf1life e @charlesf1leclerc @crashingwavesofeuphoria @dark-night-sky-99 9 @dudenhaaa27 @eugene-emt-roe @embrosegraves @entr4p3 @formulas-bitch @formulaal @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hangmandruigandmav @hollie911 @ironcowboycopnickel @laura-naruto-fan1998 @lightdragonrayne @moss-on-tmblr @laneyspaulding19 @omgsuperstarg @oconswrld d @otako5811 @starkwlkr @strugglingyetvibing @sweate-r-weathe-r @swifth0lic @toasttt11 @the-ghost-lovwr @tallrock35 @uluvjay @vellicora @venusisnothere @ladymarvel27 @mclarennerd1645 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @badassturtle13 @clowngirlsstuff @jeffs77 @amatswimming

The Mexico Grand Prix weekend was buzzing with excitement, but away from the action of the track, there was a quieter world where three small friends were having their kind of fun. Behind the bustling garages, tucked away from the noise of the engines and the frenzy of race day, a small, secret space had been transformed into their play area. It was a little hideaway just for them—far from the eyes of photographers and fans.

Lydia Verstappen, all of five years old with her hair blowing in skipped along, was the first to arrive. She was always a little ahead of the game when it came to finding the best spots to play. Her sparkling blue eyes scanned the area with excitement as she waited for her friends.

“Lydia!” A voice called out, and she turned to see Sergio Jr., Checo Pérez’s six-year-old son, running toward her. His wide smile was as contagious as ever, and his dark hair stuck out from under his racing cap.

“Hi, Sergio!” Lydia waved enthusiastically.

“Guess what I brought?” Sergio’s eyes were practically shining with mischief as he opened his hands to reveal a shiny, new toy race car; it was a replica of his dad's car. “It’s the fastest one ever!”

Lydia’s eyes widened. “Wow, it’s so cool! You’re gonna race it with me, right?”

Before Sergio could answer, a small voice piped up from behind them.

“I want to race, too!” It was Carlota, Checo’s four-year-old daughter, holding a plush bear in one hand and a toy car in the other. Her curly hair bounced with every step as she ran to join them, her face lighting up with excitement.

“Carlota!” Lydia exclaimed. “You’re here! Let’s all race together!”

Carlota nodded vigorously. “Yes! But my bear has to come, too,” she said, holding up her toy.

Sergio Jr. grinned. “We’ll make him the driver,” he suggested with a wink, carefully placing the plush bear in the driver’s seat of the toy car. “Now he’s ready to race.”

The three of them quickly set up a “track” using lines drawn in chalk on the pavement behind the garage, where the cars usually lined up for the race. It was a simple track, with loops, turns, and a big finish line that they drew with bright yellow chalk. The rules were simple: no one could go faster than the others, and everyone had to cross the finish line at the same time—no one was allowed to win today.

The trio stood at the start of their track, ready to race.

“On your mark, get set…” Lydia began, counting down with her tiny fingers. “Go!”

All three cars shot forward, rolling across the pavement. Carlota’s bear bobbed up and down as it sped along, while Sergio Jr. steered his toy car with impressive precision. Lydia was focused too, her toy car bumping along with determination.

They zoomed around the loop, racing through the turns. Sergio Jr. was slightly faster, but Lydia was clever and always knew how to take the corners just right. Carlota, with her bear in the driver’s seat, giggled as her car wobbled and swerved.

“Slow down, bear!” Carlota called, but it was more of a joyful laugh than a command. She wasn’t in a hurry. The game wasn’t about winning—it was about playing together.

Lydia glanced over at Carlota, then slowed her car just enough so they could all stay together. “I think we’re tied,” she said seriously.

Sergio Jr. looked at her, then at Carlota, who was giggling uncontrollably. “Okay, let’s pretend we all won,” he said, grinning. “The race is a tie!”

They all burst out laughing, collapsing into a pile on the soft grass at the side of their makeshift track. Carlota rolled onto her back, holding her bear up in the air as if it had just finished the best race in history.

“This is so much fun!” Lydia said, her cheeks flushed with joy.

Carlota nodded, still giggling. “We’re the best team ever!”

Sergio Jr. agreed, still catching his breath. “Next, we should race to the big trees!” He pointed to a line of tall trees in the distance. “We can make a new track.”

Just then, Lydia’s dad, Max Verstappen, walked by, looking over his shoulder at the sound of the laughter. He smiled when he saw the kids playing behind the garage.

“Hey, you three,” Max called, walking over to them. “What are you up to back here? Shouldn’t you be cheering for the race?”

Lydia jumped up to hug her dad. “We’re racing too, Papa! But with cars, not like you. Our race was the best!”

Max knelt to her level and smiled, his eyes soft with affection. “I’m sure it was. Who won?”

Lydia shrugged dramatically. “We all won!” she said, holding out her hands to include Sergio Jr. and Carlota in the victory.

Max chuckled, then looked at Sergio Jr., who was still holding his race car. “Did you guys get a good look at the real cars out there? The ones your dads drive?”

Sergio Jr. nodded eagerly. “Yeah! They go fast. But our cars are faster!”

Carlota joined in. “Our cars are magic fast!” she declared with a grin.

Max smiled warmly at them, clearly enjoying the scene. “Well, as long as you all know how to have fun, you’re already winners in my book.”

At that moment, Checo Pérez strolled over, having heard the laughter and seeing Max talking to the kids.

“You three are keeping things lively back here, I see,” Checo said with a playful smile.

“Yeah, we’re racing!” Sergio Jr. told him proudly. “But we are all tied!”

Checo laughed and gave a small bow. “Then you’ve all earned a trophy. What kind of trophy do you want?”

“A huge, golden one!” Carlota exclaimed, her arms wide.

“Maybe a shiny one like my car!” Lydia added, her eyes sparkling.

“Maybe next time,” Checo said, chuckling. “But you know, the best prize is the fun you’re having right now.”

Lydia squinted her eyes playfully and scrunched her nose at Checo’s comment, a mischievous smile spreading across her face. She paused for a moment, considering his words, before responding with a lighthearted tone, “No, I think I’d rather have a trophy instead!” She says.

Checo let out a long, weary sigh, the weight of his defeat heavy on his shoulders. He looked at her, his expression a mix of resignation and understanding. "You are your father’s daughter," he said, his voice tinged with both admiration and frustration. The words hung in the air, a reflection of the undeniable resemblance she bore to the man who had shaped her life.

#f1 #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula one x you #f1 x y/n #formula one x oc #formula one x y/n #faiths inboxes📥📨#max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x oc

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writergirlll · 2 days ago

Note

can you write something about F1 driver (doesn't matter who) x reader, when they were best friends since childhood, but then suddenly they become strangers. no one knows how, why, and not even themselves, until they meet at the Las Vegas GP after a long absence..

Yeah suree. (I know this is pretty bad, but I wrote this late at night, so sorry, I'll just get better!!)

CHILD MEMORIES /LH44

Lewis Hamilton x reader

I don't know why I put Lewis, but somehow he fit me there..

words: 2k+

You were everything. You brightened up anyone, you laughed at everything, you were the sun of Mercedes. Everyone loved you, you were inseparable.

You and Lewis have been best friends since birth. Your families were close, so you practically had no choice but to hang out with each other. But the decision was great!

You spent whole days together, the same kindergarten, elementary school and then high school. You weren't even separated when Lewis started driving F1 because you followed him to EVERY race. Everyone knew how close you were. Journalists, fans, co-workers of Lewis, your families and you.

That's why you just didn't know what happened. Four months have passed since Lewis' last race. And you haven't seen each other in four months. You didn't know why, you didn't know how.

Lewis stopped texting you, stopped answering your calls, and blocked you pretty much everywhere. You couldn't comment on his posts, you couldn't do anything. When you were waiting for him three days ago after the race, you didn't even get to see him because Russell kicked you out saying that Lewis definitely didn't want to see you.

You didn't understand it at all because you were inseparable and the worst part was that everyone asked you about it. Your whole family asked you, your friends, fans of you and Lewis, or even the press. But you just couldn't answer. You couldn't tell them that you had absolutely no idea what was going on and you wanted to know. You couldn't tell them it was Lewis who cut you off because he would be blamed. And okay, maybe he's ignoring you right now and you don't know why, but you're definitely not a bitch who would betray him and take the blame on him. Yes, he was at fault, but not everyone needs to know that..

And that's why you decided to go to the race in Las Vegas, to find out the answers. You knew it might not be a good idea because you might get fired again and it would be even worse for your psyche, but you had to know the answers. Just had to.

“Y/n no! You're not going to the movies with him” Lewis started yelling at you when you were nine.

,,Why? You are not my mom to order me around. He's nice to me and he doesn't yell at me unlike you" you stuck your tongue out at him and started putting on your mom's lipstick.

"He's not nice. He's just using you" he shook his head and stepped closer to you.

"But he's handsome. You don't know him at all” you mumbled as you concentrated on putting red on your lips.

"I know him. He doesn't do homework at all and his dad is said to have been in prison. He's not nice to me at all" he explained and you turned to him.

“Is it true?” you asked and he nodded quickly, his head almost falling off. "But I already have the tickets and I've made an appointment with him" you whined.

"Then you will come with me and we will write him a letter on the way. He only lives a few minutes away anyway" Lew thought up and you finally went along with his solution.

You took off your lipstick and pulled out a piece of paper and started writing - which looked like a scratch that you weren't going anywhere with. Then you put it in the envelope Lew had made in the meantime, sealed it with saliva, and dropped it in his mailbox when you went to the cinema.

At home, you packed some things, bought tickets and booked a hotel. You told your parents and everyone close to you about your plan and got on the plane.

After a few hours of flight, you finally flew to Las Vegas, called a taxi and went to check into the hotel.

When you did this, you decided it was time to go get answers. You didn't know what you would say to him when you saw him in four months, or if you would see him at all, but you wanted to at least try.

You've been pretty sick these past few months and weeks. You were constantly wondering if it was your fault and what you did wrong. The family told you that it might not be your fault but his, but you just didn't want to believe that Lewis would do something like that. Certainly not the Lewis you knew.

You cried for days and nights and it took you a long time to sort of recover from it. You knew that if Lewis ignored you even today, or didn't let you see him, it would be even worse. But why not give it a try?

You left the hotel straight to the track, where the qualification was supposed to start in an hour so you were hoping to catch Lewis before quali started.

You showed your VIP ticket at the entrance to the track, even though the people at the gate already knew you very well and would have taken you without a ticket, and you headed to the Mercedes garage, more nervous than ever.

You slowly shuffled there, already having several journalists on your neck, which you successfully ignored. And you also successfully ignored the feeling that told you to turn around and not go there at all.

It wasn't long before you saw a boy in a blue jumpsuit who revealed himself to be George Russell. As soon as you approached him, he noticed you and frowned at first before smiling slightly when he saw your expression.

“Y/n hi. You haven't been here long" he said as he walked up to you and gave you a quick hug.

"Yeah well, I didn't have much reason to walk there" you smiled firmly and looked around for Lewis. "Don't you know where Lewis is?" you asked and George's smile immediately disappeared from his face.

"I think he doesn't want to talk to you much. Besides we are going quali in a bit” he said quickly and you frowned.

"I absolutely do not see why you are bodyguarding him, but I want to know the reason why he did this to me. I have a right to know” you got angry.

"I know, I know but..-"

"No, no but. Just let me go to him. I need to know” you whispered the last part of your sentence and with that George pulled away from you leaving you to search the area.

You searched for quite a long time before you finally caught sight of his head. He was already dressed in his racing suit and was looking for something on the table, among all the things. You stopped for a moment before taking a deep breath and stepping forward..

Either it will ruin your life or you will find out the reason..

“Lewis?” your little six year old self whispered and patted little Lewis.

“Yeah” he turned sleepily in his bed and looked at you.

"Could I sleep with you? I'm scared on the floor" you whispered and desperately hoped he would say yes. You were supposed to sleep with him, but since his bed was small, you had to sleep on the floor, which you didn't like.

Little Lewis didn't answer, he just shifted on the bed towards the wall and lifted the covers. You quickly took advantage of this and crawled under the covers, where you snuggled up.

"Thank you so much" you smiled a little and felt tiredness wash over you. Lewis barely nodded, himself already in dreamland and put his arm around your small body and hugged you.

"I love you" you kissed his cheek and rested your head on his shoulder.

"Me too" Lewis smiled, pulling you closer and together you slowly returned to the realm of dreams..

“Lewis?” You asked cautiously, stepping a fair distance away from him to give you some space. You could see a light bulb go off in his head that it was you and he tensed slightly before turning to you.

"What are you doing here?" he asked without a greeting and glared at you. Okay, maybe you really should have stayed home..

"I came to watch the race" you replied because you didn't want to argue right now even though you knew it would most likely end up like that.

"And did you buy VIP tickets?" he rolled his eyes at your stupidity and you couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you ignoring me? Why did you just do all this overnight" you asked him and even though it was only the first question, tears formed in your eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Lewis shook his head and went back to looking for things.

"Lewis, you know it very well. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Because I really don't know why you just left me without an explanation after more than 30 years of knowing each other" you frowned and you made him turn around.

"I don't know okay" he started waving his hands and sighed.

“So you don't know?” you whispered, a single tear falling down your cheek. You quickly wiped it away, but Lewis seemed to see it. "After all four months, when I cried constantly because I didn't know the fuck reason why you did it, you're going to tell me that you don't know? You don't even know how much I've been worried about this because how could you when you blocked me everywhere and when I followed you George dumped me” now you started crying.

Looking at your tear covered face, Lewis softened slightly and moved a little closer to you. "I couldn't see you" he only said and looked sympathetic. "I really wanted, I wanted to hug you and explain everything to you, but I couldn't".

"But why"? you sniffed and wiped away the stray tears with the back of your hand - and that there were a lot of them.

"I" he started and ran a hand through his hair without continuing. "Maya, my ex-girlfriend. I started dating her shortly before I cut you off, you didn't even get to know her. She was very angry that I was talking to you and on top of that the whole team said that I was fired by you because I wasn't winning so many races, so I thought this would be the easiest solution. I knew it was definitely wrong, but it was the easiest. But when Maya broke up with me a month ago because she found someone else, I didn't have the strength to go to you. I knew you'd be mad. I knew I messed up terribly. Please forgive me. Please" now he started crying too.

His explanation left you completely shocked. You didn't know what to say to that. You may have understood Maya because you yourself have experienced that a person behaves differently under the pressure of a loved one, but that his team said are you distracting him?

“So this was the easiest solution?” you finally asked.

"Yes. No. I don't know. I really don't know, please forgive me. I understand what you had to go through and I don't want to lose all those years when we were kids and teenagers" he begged walking closer to you before wiping your wet cheeks with his big hands.

"And Mercedes thinks I'm distracting you"?

"Well, George doesn't. The other teams didn't either, but we really had a tough season, everyone thought differently, they certainly didn't mean it" he hugged you tightly and didn't want to let go.

You wrapped your arms around his back and he wrapped his around your waist. "Let's not lose all our friendship, please. I'll do anything" he whispered in your ear and you nodded.

He might have done a bad thing that cost you an extreme amount of tears and everything, but he was still Lewis, who you had loved since birth and who would never knowingly do something so horrible.

"Lew i don't want to lose our friendship either. But I will remember what you did. And I also hope that your Maya, who is probably a nice bitch by the way, doesn't show up in my life" you laughed lightly and Lewis too.

So in the end it turned out to be a good decision to go to Las Vegas...

“What if we never see each other again?” you sighed and looked deeply into the eyes of your best friend of 15 years.

"We'll see. I'm only going there for a few days for now, but you'll be able to go to my races. I'll give you a discount" he smiled at you seeing your concern and you shook your head.

Lew got an offer to F1, when they invited him to an audition and if he succeeded, he would go to junior competitions for a few years in Italy.

"You can't leave me here" you shook your head once more and pulled him into a hug.

"I won't let. Never. Best friends forever"?

"Best Friends Forever".

#formula 1 #mercedes #las vegas #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #george russell #childhood #best friends

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loulovingho · 10 hours ago

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Rocker and Deacon are out shopping for groceries or whatever and Deacon just subconsciously reaches to hold Rocker's hand or to put his hand on Rocker's waist, while they're talking about something else, and Deacon not letting go even when they bump into someone they know.

Rocker is a little surprised because he remembers how they started off all clandestine and now Deacon is freely showing affection in front of others.

Okay, I saw this and had to write something about it 😩 then it turned into 1000 words! I hope you enjoy!

They've been together, really together, for four months now. No more hiding, no more affair, no more dirty little secret.

Deacon's moved into his own apartment, he's explained everything to the kids, he and Annie are figuring things out through their attorneys.

He and Rocker have even filled out all the proper relationship agreements at work.

All these steps came pretty naturally. They left both Deacon and Rocker feeling more free than they ever had their entire lives. Like a heavy weight had been lifted off of them.

They weren't exactly the most exciting pair. Sure, the sex was incredible, adventurous, sometimes daring, but life was about more than sex.

It was about fixing the broken cabinets in Deacon's apartment, it was dealing with the nightmares Rocker sometimes suffered from, it was making sure they got enough rest to be able to deal with whatever happened at work the next day.

It was figuring out who they were as a couple, all the things they liked and all the things they hated. It was laughing together, fighting together, helping each other, holding each other.

It was dealing with grocery shopping for two households on a Saturday afternoon.

“We should have gotten two carts.”

“You really want to try and maneuver two carts down every aisle through all these people?”

Deacon managed to step out of the way just before a lady could ram him with her cart. He sighed. “No. I just want to be done with this.”

“We just gotta get some breakfast foods for your place and we'll be finished.” He waved Deacon along. “Scoot scoot.”

With an eye roll, he turned and headed for the next aisle, Rocker following behind with the cart.

Deacon grabbed up a box of Fruity Pebbles and placed it on the side that had all his items, stopping with he noticed the look Rocker gave him.

“What?”

“That for you?” Rocker asked.

“Do I look like a Fruity Pebbles kinda guy to you?”

“You really want me to answer that?”

Deacon glared at him. “They're for the kids, Donovan. It's their favorite.”

Rocker shook his head, pushing the cart forward to get out of another man's way.

“What? What is that?” Deacon asked. “Why are you shaking your head?”

“They don't like Fruity Pebbles anymore.”

“Yes they do.”

“No they don't.”

“Yes, they- How would you know?”

“The last time they came over,” Rocker explained, “Lila mentioned that Samuel threw up Fruity Pebbles in the car and now none of the kids can handle the smell.”

Deacon picked up the box. “No Fruity Pebbles then,” he said, placing it back on the shelf. After letting three people pass between them, he moved back over to Rocker's side.

“Should I be offended that you know my children better than I do?” he questioned, wrapping an arm around Rocker's waist as they continued down the aisle.

Rocker smiled. “Well, technically you were in the shower when they told me, so...”

“Oh, the truth comes out,” Deacon said with a laugh. “You were just gonna let me think I should know this information?”

Rocker shrugged as they turned the corner. “It's fun to see you squirm sometimes.”

“Oh, you're gonna be doing some sq-”

“David!”

A woman's voice had Rocker and Deacon turning their heads to the side.

“Mrs. Chase!” Deacon greeted, smiling brightly at the older woman. “Good to see you!”

“You too. Busy day in here today, isn't it?”

“That's what we were saying,” Deacon answered, giving Rocker a pat on his side before resting his hand back on the same spot.

It was a little thing, and Rocker knew he should be used to it by now, but he wasn't. They'd spent over a year hiding. Making sure no one saw a touch, a glance, heard an unprofessional word. They'd once driven an hour out of town to go out to dinner somewhere that they knew no one would know them. And even then, Deacon had to be sitting so he could face the entire restaurant, just in case someone were to enter that he recognized.

Now though, with this woman that Deacon knew but Rocker had never seen before, his hand remained just above his hip.

“Mrs. Chase, this is my boyfriend, Donovan Rocker,” Deacon introduced. “He goes by Rocker though.”

And damn, that still felt new too.

Boyfriend.

Not acquaintance.

Not co-worker.

Not friend.

Boyfriend.

It might seem a little juvenile to some, using the word boyfriend when the two of them were in their forties and fifties, but in their line of work “partner” could mean many things. So, boyfriend it was.

Deacon gave Rocker's waist a little squeeze, “Donny, this is Mrs. Chase from my old church. Makes the best pies in the world.”

Rocker smiled, reaching out to give her hand a shake. “Nice to meet you, Ma'am, I've actually heard a lot about you.”

“Oh, my,” she replied with a little giggle, shaking his hand as a blush rose on her cheeks. “You're very handsome.”

“You're very sweet.”

She looked over at Deacon once she let go of Rocker's hand. “A lot of us have missed you at church, David.”

“I miss some of you guys too, it's just... that's Annie's place to go now. It wouldn't be fair to her.”

He left out the part of the news spreading like wildfire as soon as he and Annie filed for divorce. How the rumors had gotten so bad that the priest had called and asked him to not return. It wasn't like he was going to anyway, but that definitely put the final nail in the coffin.

Mrs. Chase nodded, her facial expression remaining soft, nonjudgmental. “Well, you have my number still, don't you?”

“Yes, Ma'am.”

“Good. Use it. Call me soon and I'll bring you a couple of my pies.” She looked back at Rocker. “You like cherry?”

“Love it.”

“Good. I better get going. It was good seeing you, David, and nice meeting you, Rocker.”

After saying their goodbye's, they started down the next aisle.

Using one hand to steer the cart, Rocker wrapped the other around Deacon's shoulder, pulling him closer and pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Can we get out of here now?” Deacon asked, gripping onto Rocker's shirt with his hand as they passed a group of very loud tourists.

“Breakfast foods,” Rocker reminded him.

Deacon dropped his head down. “Damn it.”

#deacon kay #donovan rocker #swat #swat cbs #rockon #🤘

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banditthewriter · 3 days ago

Text

Home - A Halsin drabble

I said I would and I did! A short 800+ words with our favorite druid! I wrote this in about 20 minutes. It is also the first thing I've written in over a year.

I know this isn't what most people follow me for but hey. We all change sometimes!

Enjoy!

***

Light pierced through the back of your eyelids. A groan came from your throat as pain started to throb between your temples. Your last memories were beyond recall as you tried to remember where you were. What battle had you been fighting, what enemy had you fallen to? Was the light you saw a fireball coming your way?

“Oak Father preserve me,” came a guttural groan from beside you.

Halsin. Your eyes shot open despite the pain. Fear coursed through you as you imagined that not only you had fallen during this battle, but Halsin as well.

What you saw was a different kind of battlefield all together. You were pressed up against Halsin in the overstuffed, oversized mattress that took up most of the small cabin the two of you shared in what was once the Shadowcursed Lands. Shadowed no more, the sun often shone happily down on the land these days, but not often did it shine directly into your home.

You peered over Halsin’s large frame towards the front door. Two small children stood side by side, their faces dark as the sun poured in behind them, but you knew them well. Their forms seemed to shimmer and join as you watched them.

“Thaniel, Oliver. Is something wrong?”

“The land missed you while you were gone, but you came back.”

They spoke in tandem, which still freaked you out a bit, but you couldn’t help a bit of a smile as you snuggled in closer to Halsin.

“Of course we did. This is our home.”

They boys giggled and turned as one to leave, but they did not shut the door. The idea of getting up to do that yourself was beyond comprehension so you conjured just a little magic to shut the door behind them.

Blissfully dark in the cabin once more, you sighed and moved to snuggle your druid again. As you did, you noticed his eyes on you, the smallest smile on his lips.

“Gone for mere hours to see our friends at the old camp and we were missed. It brings pleasure to my heart to hear it.”

That was the reason for the extreme headache, you thought with a laugh. Last night was the reunion with your other traveling companions. There had been many bottles of wine while the group regaled each other with stories of the last six months and revisited some tales from your time together. You vaguely remembered challenging the others to a drinking game which would explain the constant thunder in your head.

“Perhaps our next reunion should include less alcohol. My head feels like there is an owlbear in it.”

You laughed at his description, which was immediately followed by a snort as you remembered there was now an owlbear somewhere here with you. Hopefully it remembered the rule of not eating anyone.

“Problems for the future. For now I just want this,” you explained as you snuggled closer to Halsin, your lips pressing against his bare shoulder.

As your eyes started to drift close, Halsin tugged you until you were basically on top of him. It wasn’t a sexual move, just a need for closeness.

“Did you mean what you told Thaniel and Oliver? That this is our home.”

For a moment you thought he meant the small cabin the two of you shared. The large bed and two trunks full of both of your items, shelves filled with books and carved creatures. Even beyond these four walls, the area that the two of you had carved out for yourselves while surrounded by the people you had helped.

But he meant more than that. He meant the cabin and the lands and the people. The once cursed lands which now prospered under his leadership and skill. Everything used for evil was repurposed and rebuilt. Six months had shown so much growth and you knew in six more months the land would show no scars of the past.

This land, these people. This druid in front of you. This was your home.

“Yes,” you answered simply, because the answer was simple. You had had homes before. You could go anywhere you wanted, but this? This is where you wanted to be. This is where you needed to be.

“That brings me happiness beyond words, my heart. This is my home and it would feel as dark as the curse without you in it. I am honored to have you at my side.”

Later the two of you would go and talk to the people. Halsin had many new stories to tell the children, though some would need to be censored until they were older. You needed to meet with the people who were rebuilding the House of Healing to make sure they had everything they needed. You wanted to find the owlbear and make sure he was settled in comfortably.

But for now? For now you simply closed your eyes and enjoyed being held by your druid. The two of you were safe and happy, if more than a little hungover, and that was enough for you.

#my writing #halsin #halsin x tav #halsin x reader #halsin drabble

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marauroon · 2 days ago

Text

JEALOUSY, RESOLVED — REMUS LUPIN!

remus proves his devotion to your relationship, and his friends do too.

remus lupin x fem!reader | flangst | 1.3k | masterlist.

part one. | part two.

a/n — who doesn’t love a happy ending?

The next morning is tense.

You wake up with swollen eyes, a heaviness lingering in your chest, and a dread that settles deep in your stomach. Remus had held you for what felt like hours, whispering apologies and promises that everything would be okay, but now, in the stark morning light, you're not so sure.

You avoid him for the first half of the day. It’s cowardly, you know, but you don’t have the strength to face him yet—or worse, to face them. The Marauders, the trio that seems to fill Remus’s life with laughter and light, the friends you’d always felt overshadowed by.

What would they think of you now? You’re sure Remus has told them everything.

After lunch, however, you can’t avoid it any longer. As you’re leaving the Great Hall, you spot Remus waiting just outside the entrance, leaning against the wall with an expression that’s somewhere between determined and nervous. You hesitate, but he sees you before you can make your escape, and his eyes soften.

“Hey,” he says gently, stepping forward. “Can we talk? Please?”

There’s no escape this time, so you nod and follow him out onto the grounds, walking silently side by side until you’re far enough from prying eyes.

You expect him to start with another apology, but instead, he stops and looks at you with a seriousness that takes you by surprise.

“Can you meet us tonight?” he asks, his voice firm but kind. “In the common room. After dinner.”

“Why?” Your tone is wary, guarded.

“Because I want to make this right,” he says, his eyes searching yours. “I talked to the others. They want to talk to you, too.”

You open your mouth to argue, to say that you’re not ready, that you don’t need their pity or their explanations, but there’s something in Remus’s expression—some mix of resolve and hope—that makes you swallow your protests.

“Okay,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. He smiles, relief washing over his features, and it’s almost enough to make you believe that maybe, just maybe, things can be different.

—

That evening, you feel like you’re walking to your own execution as you make your way to the Gryffindor common room.

The Marauders are waiting for you, clustered together on the couches near the fire. They stop talking when you arrive, and the sudden silence is almost unbearable.

You sit down hesitantly, the cushion feeling too soft, too warm beneath you. Remus gives you an encouraging nod, and you take a steadying breath, trying to muster what little courage you have.

It’s James who speaks first, his voice unusually gentle. “Look, we know we’ve been... well, maybe a bit clueless,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Remus told us how you’ve been feeling, and we’re really sorry. We didn’t realise you felt... left out.”

“Or that we were making you feel that way,” Sirius adds, and his voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it. He’s not wearing his usual roguish grin; instead, he looks almost vulnerable. “We never meant to make you feel like you weren’t welcome.”

You don’t know what to say, so you just look down at your hands, twisting them in your lap. It’s Remus’s hand that comes to rest gently over yours, grounding you.

“You’re not just Remus’s partner,” James says, leaning forward, his voice sincere. “You’re one of us, if you want to be. We just... I think we didn’t know how to include you without making it weird.”

“We’re kind of rubbish at being subtle,” Sirius admits, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “We’re used to it just being the four of us. But that doesn’t mean there’s no room for you. We want there to be.”

There’s a silence, and you realise they’re all waiting for you to say something. You take a shaky breath. “I just... don’t want to get in the way,” you say, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“A burden?” James says, his eyebrows shooting up. “Are you kidding? You’re brilliant! Remus is always talking about how smart you are, how funny—how you’re the only one who can keep up with him in a debate about some obscure magical creature.”

“And you’re bloody good at Potions,” Peter adds with a grin, his eyes bright with something like admiration. “Better than any of us, anyway. Remember that time you saved me from failing that essay on Veritaserum?”

The compliments catch you off guard, and you feel a warmth spreading through your chest, an unfamiliar lightness. You glance at Remus, who’s watching you with a hopeful smile, and something in you begins to ease.

“We didn’t mean to push you away,” James says earnestly. “We want you to be part of this—of us. If you want that, too.”

You hesitate, feeling the weight of the decision. But then you think of all those moments you spent on the edges, wishing you could be part of the laughter, part of the friendship that Remus shared so easily with them. Maybe it’s not too late to be part of it, too.

“Okay,” you say softly, and it’s like a dam breaking. The tension in the room dissolves, replaced by a flood of relief and warmth.

Sirius whoops and claps you on the back, nearly knocking you off the couch. “Brilliant! I knew you’d come around.”

“Welcome to the gang,” James says with a wide grin, extending his hand. You take it, and he pulls you into a quick, awkward hug that makes you laugh in spite of yourself.

“We gotta get you a nickname-!” Peter jumps ahead of himself in his enthusiasm, and Sirius falls straight into planning it with him.

Remus’s arm wraps around your shoulders, and he presses a soft kiss to your temple. “Thank you,” he whispers, and you know he means it for more than just showing up.

—

From then on, things are different.

At first, it’s a bit awkward—the boys seem overly careful not to exclude you, going out of their way to make sure you’re involved in every conversation and inside joke.

But slowly, it becomes more natural. You find yourself laughing with them, teasing Sirius about his hair routine or rolling your eyes when James brags about his Quidditch moves.

They start inviting you to their adventures—sneaking down to the kitchens at midnight for snacks, or helping with the latest prank they’re planning on the Slytherins.

You even start contributing your own ideas, and when one of your plans works better than expected, Sirius gives you an impressed nod, muttering something about a “bloody genius.”

It’s not perfect, and sometimes you still feel a pang of jealousy when Remus slips easily into an old memory with them, but it’s not the same sharp, unbearable ache it used to be. Because now, when he turns to share a smile, you’re there beside him, part of the circle, part of the jokes.

It’s one evening, weeks later, where you’re all crammed together on the couch—Sirius snoring softly on one end while James dozes against the other—that it kind of properly sinks in.

Remus’s head is resting on your shoulder, his fingers lazily tracing patterns on your wrist, and you feel... content.

For the first time, you don’t feel like an outsider looking in. You’re one of them now. A part of the Marauders, in all their messy, chaotic glory.

#marauders #marauders fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin angst #remus lupin fluff

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strnilolover · 3 days ago

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ditsy!reader with player!chris and matt with adhd!reader double date fic? 🫣🫣

It was supposed to be a simple night out — dinner at a local Italian spot followed by mini-golf. Chris had suggested it on a whim, wanting an excuse to hang out with Matt after not being able to see him for so long. Both of the brothers always being busy with with own things — but also being busy with their own girls.

But neither Chris nor Matt were prepared for the chaos that was going to unfold once the four of them were together. The minute angel and star met, it was as if the world around them didn’t exist whatsoever — everything, including Chris and Matt, had been drowned out. The girls being sucked into their own little world with just them.

“Oh my gosh, I love your nails!” angel squealed with excitement, grabbing stars hand to inspect her bright, multicolored manicure that was slightly chipping away at a few of her fingers.

“Thanks! I did them last night because I got bored, but now I can’t stop picking at them,” she replied, holding up her other hand to show a chipped thumbnail. “I do the same thing!” angel gasped. “Like, the second one nail chips, I just have to take them all off. It’s so bad.” and star quickly nodded her head in agreement.

Matt and Chris exchanged a glance as the two of them launched into a full-blown conversation about nail polish, fidget toys, and a completely unrelated tangent about their favorite snacks. The boys heads shaking as grins tugged at their lips — this was going to be a long night.

Later at dinner, angel and star kept their conversations going. Talking about random topics, or ping ponging off of one another as they each said something. Though, when the waitress had approached the table — Chris had to get angels attention.

He nudged her arm. “You’re up,” Chris said, nodding toward the server who had arrived to take their orders when angels attention turned to him.

“Oh! Uh, can I get the, um…” angel trailed off, squinting at the menu like it was written in a foreign language. “Wait, what’s a caprese salad? Is that the one with cheese?” you gasped.

“Yes,” the server replied, looking mildly amused. “Oh, I love cheese! I’ll take that, please,” angel decided, handing the menu over.

Then star clapped her hands. “Oh, if you’re getting that, then I’ll get the spaghetti! Wait, no, the lasagna — no, wait, the spaghetti!” She paused, looking at Matt in a panic. “Which one do you think I’d like more?” and Matt just chuckled softly. “The spaghetti, babe. You always steal mine when I get it.” he stated softly.

“You’re so right. Spaghetti it is!” she announced triumphantly, handing her menu over to the server as well. Chris pinched the bridge of his nose, but there was a tiny smirk playing on his lips. “You good, angel?” he asked her, his voice teasing.

“Yep! Oh, wait! Do they have garlic bread?” she asked, flipping the menu back open even though the server had already walked away. “They’ll bring it,” Chris reassured her, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t worry, I got you.”

When the food had finally arrived, it was hard for either boy to think or focus on their food as the pair of girls continued to talk.

Chris poked at his lasagna, watching as angel animatedly recounted a story about the time she accidentally put dish soap in the dishwasher. Matt was equally quiet, a fond smile tugging at his lips as he listened to star explain how she once stayed up until 3 AM organizing her bookshelf by color, only to rearrange it by genre the next day.

By the time the dessert arrived, angel and star had bonded over everything from their mutual fear of spiders to the oddly specific way they both folded your socks.

Chris’ eyes flicked over to Matt. “Do you think they even know we’re here?” he muttered, leaning toward him slowly. Matt shook his head, laughing under his breath. “Probably not. But, honestly? It’s kind of nice seeing them so happy.”

Chris glanced at angel, the way her eyes sparkled as she giggled at something star had said. His smirk softened into something more genuine. “Yeah,” he admitted. “It is.”

Later, at mini-golf, angel and star proved to be just as chaotic as they were at dinner. Instead of competing, they decided to work together to make the “ultimate trick shot,” which mostly involved them both giggling uncontrollably as their golf balls ricocheted off every obstacle.

“Okay, okay, this time I’m gonna hit it super hard, and it’s totally gonna go in,” angel said, lining up her shot. Star had quickly stopped her, “Wait! Let me record it!” she said, fumbling with her phone. “This is gonna go viral, I swear.” she joked as she bounced on the balls of her feet.

Chris and Matt stood off to the side, arms crossed as they watched the spectacle unfold. “Should we help them, or…?” Matt asked, his question trailing off as he just watched the curiously.

Chris chuckled, watching the same scene unfold in front of him. “Nah,” he replied, shaking his head. “Let them do their thing.”

As the two of them finally managed to sink the ball — on the 14th try — Chris couldn’t help but laugh at the way angel high-fived star like they’d just won the Olympics.

“Alright, angel, let’s see if you can do that again on the next hole,” Chris teased, pulling her into his side as she walked to the next course. “Challenge accepted!” she declared, grinning up at him.

Matt glanced at star, who was already distractedly trying to read the mini-golf rulebook like it was the most fascinating thing in the world — when really it wasn’t, it just gave her something to do besides talking to angel.

Matt walked beside Chris, leaning into him a little as he kept his gaze on star. “Think they’ll ever run out of things to talk about?” he asked Chris.

Chris smirked, watching angel skip up toward star, shaking his head. “Not a chance.”

#ᯓ★ strnilolover #ᯓ★ strnilolover player!chris #ᯓ★ strnilolover ditsy!reader au #ᯓ★ strnilolover adhd!reader au #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo imagine

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vhygoxo · 2 days ago

Text

Twilight New Age

After inheriting her grandparents house in the Quileute reservation, La Push, Y/N moves to her home rez. Hoping to start a new life she is soon involved with what she thought were just old legends.

Paul Lahote x Reader

Romance | Fantasy | Drama | Angst | 18+

CHAPTER 2

<< CHP 1

Y/n gazed out of her kitchen window towards the tree line. Her mind else where as she continued to wipe the same dish over and over. Kim took notice as she raised an eyebrow at her cousin.

“Y/n? Are you alright?” She asked curious making y/n snap out of it. Turning her head to see the worry on Kim’s face she smiled. “Sorry I didn’t get enough sleep last night” she explained easing Kim’s mind.

Kim was spending the night. Both wanted to pull up to the bonfire together. But also get a private visit before anything. Although it was all Kim could focus on y/n‘s mind was scattered.

It had been a few days since she first started dreaming crazy. Ever since that first night and the dream of the girl, Renesmee, she's haunted her mind since.

In the dreams she’s always lost in the woods behind her house. Unsure of why she’s there or what she should do. Stuck in an ocean of darkness until she finds moonlight. The feeling switched between being hunted down or else she was searching for something.

Each time her mind tried to focus on avoiding Renesmee. As long as her legs didn’t give out. She would just run and run until it felt time slowed down.

“So how do you feel about tomorrow? Excited?” Kim questioned her. “Yeah I mean it sounds like fun” although she didn’t sound as enthusiastic as Kim wanted. She wasn’t lying about being excited for tomorrow. It’s just her mind was elsewhere.

“That’s believable” Kim said sarcastically making y/n scoff. “I am Kim really. I need a break from all this packing and unpacking” y/n said with a deep sigh. All she wanted was her dreams to calm down. Kim knew what would perk up her cousin.

“Put down the plate and let’s go sit on the porch” she said holding a joint in her hand. Agreeing instantly the two grabbed blankets and sat down on the bench outside. After a few puffs between them they sat in comfortable silence.

“So how does it feel living here? Must be weird with gramma and grampa out of the house” Kim said as she took the joint back. Y/n nodded her head as she exhaled. “I thought so too but now that my stuff is here… I don’t know it’s just different. I do miss him most days” she said staring out into the field.

The topic of her grandfather brought up her dream last night. Again she was lost being chased by something, and as she ran, her legs began to falter. She knew she couldn’t let herself stop. But she fell to her knees and hands almost instantly.

Again darkness and more darkness. Trees and more trees it never ended she thought. ‘Get up! Get up!’ She cried to herself but to no avail. Like a newborn foal who couldn’t find its footing.

Frustrated she tore at the ground beneath her. Ripping out every root and plant in her path. Clutching down on pine needles she winced in pain. Looking down at her hands upset at herself.

“Are you lost girl?” A voice beamed throughout the air. Searching around she knew who the voice belonged to, her grandfather Quil, he stood in the shadows to the left.

When she spotted him he laughed stepping out of the shadows. He looked like the old man that he was before he died. As he walked past a tree he appeared as his young former self. Shocking y/n as he smiled brightly once more.

Walking deeper in the woods he disappeared into the shadows. His laugh morphing into a howl echoing everywhere. Hearing not two feet leaving but four heavy paws trailing off.

“I desperately need a break from everything right now… I’m excited for tomorrow. Is there anything I should bring?” Y/n said as she took the joint. Passing it back to Kim she smiled “Well I mean you could bring more of this” Kim showed the joint making y/n laugh.

“But other than yourself? No you don’t need to bring anything. Everyone else has it covered” Y/n raised an eyebrow as she finally put the joint out. “Everyone else?” Y/n questioned as Kim realized y/n wasn’t used to her lifestyle.

“I just mean that Emily and Sam usually cover the food part. Sam is mean on the barbecue. Emily does the rest. The boys all pitch in for drinks if they don’t opt to just make jungle juice” Kim explained.

In high school Y/n used to go to bonfire parties in the summer with Quil and Kim. From what she remembers they were lots of fun. One could say maybe even too much fun.

“Yikes I don’t think I’ve had Jungle Juice since highschool” she cringed remembering some unsavoury moments. Kim laughed with her reminiscing. The two enjoyed the rest of the night together. Opting to do skincare masks and pedicures to pass time while visiting.

“Aw I should’ve gotten more earlier” Kim said as she showed her empty bag of w*ed. “Jared usually buys me some but he also smokes it up” she sighed annoyed before pulling out her phone. “There isn’t any dispensaries open this hour” y/n said while looking at the clock it read thirty minutes after six.

“Oh I know I’m texting Quil. He always has” she said with a smile. It didn’t take long for Quil to reply. Letting the girls know if they come over quick he could. He was going to be gone soon so if they didn’t stop by soon they’d miss out. Kim vowed she’d pay him back when she can head into town.

Up for a late night cruise the girls hopped into y/n’s car. Picking a song and turning up the music the two headed out. Luckily Quil’s place was close to y/n’s. As they pulled up they noticed a different car sitting in the driveway.

Kim recognized the car right away. “Who’s car?” Y/n asked Kim as they parked. “Oh that’s Embry’s” she answered as she unbuckled her seat belt before jumping out of the car. Signalling y/n to come with her she felt a bit nervous.

“Don’t worry he’s a good guy. Watch” Kim assured y/n as she knocked on the door. But as quick as her hand left the door Quil answered. “Hey guys” he greeted them as they walked in.

Unsure she gathered herself to enter the living room. There Embry sat at the table, he was tall but had a more slim build, dark skin and hair his eyes looked kind. Her nervousness washing away as their eyes met. Although he still had an underlying intensity to him.

“Embry this is my cousin y/n. She’s just moved here” Quil introduced the two as he rose from his chair. For a slim build under his flannel you could notice his muscles. He grinned at y/n showing off his fangs.

“Hey I’m Embry” he said as he stood beside Quil. “Hi” y/n said as she couldn’t help but blush. Which Quil took notice of as he glared at his brother. Who could only keep his toothy grin on his face while staring at y/n.

“Don’t mind this guy he’s not used to new people” Quil teased obviously annoyed as he ruffled Embry’s hair. Causing him to push off Quil, the two started to laugh, and get more rougher with one another. Startling y/n despite knowing the two were playing.

“Alright—Alright!” Kim said as she pushed past the two breaking them up. “You idiots better smarten up y/n isn't used to your rough housing” The two broke up and smiled before laughing some more. Embry looked down at y/n catching her off guard.

“I’m fine” Y/n said following behind her as the two girls made their way to the table. “I had to wrap it tinfoil I don’t have any plastic bags” Quil said pointing to where it was. Kim picked up the tinfoil making a face of disgust as she scoffed.

Quil shrugged his shoulders as Kim continued. “But this makes it look like I’m a crackhead. Who carries a ball of tinfoil?” Quil groaned as y/n laughed. “It doesn’t look that bad Kim” y/n tried to convince her.

“Hey beggars can’t be choosers” He said to her. It wasn’t long before her eyes lit up again. “Can I at least get a smoke off you ?” She asked and even though Quil looked annoyed. He still grabbed four smokes from his cigarette pack.

Kim thanked him and said she’d get him back. But y/n knew Quil wouldn’t want anything in return when she’d eventually return the favour. Embry on the other hand was eyeing y/n up and down. Kim noticed his eyes as if he was inspecting her.

Embry snapped out of his trance. Putting on a smile on his face trying to ignore Kim’s stare. “So y/n what do you think of the rez so far?” Embry piped up trying to change the subject, while also getting to know y/n, she intrigued him. Catching y/n’s attention as they locked eyes once more.

Quil once more quickly butt in. “She’s been coming here her whole life man. It’s not like it’d be a big change right sis” he stood glaring at Embry. Who took note of Quil’s defensiveness of his beloved cousin. Y/n hardly noticed the interaction but Kim had taken note.

“It’s been great y’know? I’m glad to be back here. Excited for the bonfire tomorrow” y/n replied as Embry had a look of excitement. “Hey I'm glad you’re gonna be there. Yeah it’ll be a good time. Lots of food and drink to go around” y/n nodded in response as he spoke.

Quil and Kim could see the connection between the two. For Quil it pissed him off to see Embry basically ogle y/n. Kim on the other hand was excited for the two and was already plotting for them to become a couple.

The two continued to make small talk. Talking about what each other does for a living, etc. Eventually the conversation turned back to the bonfire party. “Do you play any sports?” Embry asked her.

“Uh—“ she said trying to answer somehow without disappointing Embry. She figured sports would be a great excuse to get close to him. The thing was she utterly sucked hence she was an artist.

“Soccer? Football?—“

“Sorry I don’t play sports. Not since high school” she answered as Embry instead of being disappointed simply nodded his head. “Really? No sports at all? Do you even exercise or move around? Don’t wanna get a hunch back from sitting all the time— Ow!” Quil said as Kim slapped him on his arm.

“I go for runs, Pilates, if I really want to switch it up I’ll do yoga. But not sports sorry not sorry” y/n raised her hands up. Earning a chuckle from Embry and Kim.

“Well that’s fine you can sit and visit with me! I don’t play sports with the boys anymore either. I’ve learned my lesson from last time”

Kim replied as she sat staring into the floor. A moment of silence fell over the three as they remembered what happened. Y/n raised an eyebrow wondering if she should even ask.

“Anyway!— I’ll finally have someone to sit on the side lines with me. Leah always plays and Emily is usually off with Sam when she can” Kim gushed excitedly. “Okay okay let’s save it for tomorrow. Sko’ outside and we can share this before we have to leave. Sam’s expecting us” Quil said as he held a pre-rolled j*int.

The three stood outside Quil’s front deck to light it. The two girls only had a few puffs especially y/n since she had to drive. After a great but quick visit the girls headed out. Bidding goodnight the two went back to the house.

As she drove off she noticed how neither of the men got into their trucks. Instead they ran towards the back of Quil’s house oddly enough. Kim and her spent the rest of the night together eventually falling asleep.

Before going to bed she hoped she would be able to sleep. She was constantly tossing and turning each night. But like every night since she’s moved in her dream was intense.

Sucked right back to where she was last night, on her knees and hands buried into the dirt, unaware of her surroundings. The moon wasn’t as bright as it was the first dream. Instead there were levels to darkness she didn’t realize were possible.

She wondered if her grandfather were in these woods. Or maybe the mysterious girl Renesmee. She wasn’t sure why she was always stuck back to this part of the forest. At this point it was starting to frustrate her. It alarmed her how more lucid it was all becoming.

It always felt as if she was meant to search for something. Find something or maybe even someone. Struggling to figure out what to do she took a moment to think.

Before anything she could hear twigs and leaves crunching. Hearing the weight of something moving beyond what she could see. What truly awaited for her in the dark? Frozen in fear she didn’t even want to turn her head.

She could barely see a few feet in front of her. But as the clouds uncovered the moon it revealed many pairs of eyes. All glaring back at her with intent y/n couldn’t read. All she could do was freeze hoping they wouldn’t attack her.

In front of her eyes she could see the figure moving towards her. Witch each step she clenched in fear. Heart beat rising rapidly, this was a dream, would it even matter if she was attacked or not? For her it all felt way too real.

Out of the shadows was a wolf, which was abnormally huge, it's fur in different shades of grey. It stood still with its head lowered. Their grey eyes intensely focused on her own. And for the first time in a while she felt truly calm. Like she was looking at a part of herself.

All the wolves including the grey one whipped their heads to the right. Noticing something that she couldn’t. A few took off in that direction, the ground shook beneath their paws, showing y/n how heavy these beasts were.

In unison they all howled causing y/n to panic. The rest of the wolves ran past her swiftly. The grey wolf stood still turning back to her. She locked eyes with the grey beast once more, a brief moment of where she felt it understood her, before it took a step towards her.

She woke up gasping and in a cold sweat. Unsure of what it all meant and why these dreams kept happening to her. There was something bothering her but what was it?

The spirit of her grandfather and now wolves? She couldn’t help but question herself. All she could do is chalk it up to some crazy dreams. Although she hated to just ignore these issues her instincts told her she’d figure it all out soon.

Focusing on the rest of her day she went downstairs. Finding Kim scoping out the fridge. Bidding each other a quick good morning. “Do you have any coffee creamer? I can’t drink coffee without it” Kim asked.

“Ugh y’know what? I forgot to buy some last time I went. Should we just go to the lodge? I heard they have good iced coffee there” Y/n suggested making Kim perk up instantly. “Ou yes they do! I’m down” The two got ready and hopped into y/n’s car.

The lodge was a small diner on the reservation. Back in the day it served as a diner, you could find anything fried there, with a side of grease. But now it was reformed the menu having smoothies, teas, etc. Including a new cafe menu. Y/n hadn’t been there in ages.

The morning sky was beautiful as the sun still gave a warm tint. Orange, yellow, and blue hues filled the sky. There was still a bit of fog from the morning dew. It felt nice to drive around so early.

The two sat in comfortable silence for a bit. Taking a moment to look at their surroundings. While also waking up fully. Although it didn’t take long for Kim to break the silence.

“So~ Embry seemed to have an eye on you yesterday” Kim said as she looked up from her phone. Y/n’s face flushed pink as she smiled slyly. Before shaking her head in disbelief.

“No way you’re just saying that” she couldn’t help but gush at the thought. “I'm being serious! To me it looked like he liked what he was seeing” Kim although she was teasing she was truly being honest.

“Guess we’ll have to see at the bonfire tonight huh?” She said as y/n shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe” y/n said as she didn’t want to completely dismiss the notion of Embry liking her. She couldn’t deny he was handsome.

“You’ll be able to get to know him more after tonight. He’s always with Quil nowadays. This is coming from someone who’s lived here my whole life” Kim continued about how close Quil and Embry are.

As she drove she looked to the sides of the road. It felt like there was something in her peripheral line of sight. Moving along with her but every time she turned there was nothing. Hoping it wasn’t deer coming too close to the road.

“Look we barely met last night. He’s cute and all but I don’t think I have time for a boyfriend right now”

“Cmon y/n if anything you have all the time in the world right now! You’ve been crying around for a break well I think this is it. Wouldn’t hurt to have a boyfriend to have some fun with. Y’know? Stress relief?”

Kim said making y/n laugh but she knew she was being serious. “Is that what Jared is for? Stress relief?” Y/n teased as Kim immediately stopped talking and pouted.

“Hey me and his connection is more than just being sex fiends! We’ve been together for six—actually almost seven years now! We’re high school sweethearts—“

“Kim I just—“ Y/n tried to cut in and calm her down but Kim continued on. The shadow figure in the corner of her eyes flickered closer. Y/n’s attention started to focus purely on the road. She sat in a cold sweat gripping the steering wheel.

“I think our connection is something to be admired. Honestly! What me and him have is rare no one can tell us otherwise! I’m just trying to help you dear cousin find something close to what I have! And I strongly feel Embry might just be the one—“

With a sharp gasp y/n swerved off the road to avoid Renesmee. Who stood suddenly in the centre of the road. Kim whose head was turned looking at y/n missed the sight. The car swerved and turned as y/n pulled onto the side.

Y/n slammed the brakes and parked. “What the hell?!” Kim cried out as she sat in her seat shocked. Thankfully both were wearing their seatbelts she thought. Luckily they didn’t hit anything either or else it would’ve been worse.

“Did you not see that girl? Holy shit!” Y/n said as she panted heavily shaking in fear. Her hands sweaty, realizing how tight her grip was, she let go and rubbed her hands. “What girl?! There’s no girl?!” Kim said while scanning the area. There was no sign of the girl anywhere.

The two felt the after math of the whiplash of turning abruptly. Kim rubbed her neck sorely as she frowned. Y/n was still shaking from her shot nerves. She closed her eyes and shook her head thinking of what she just seen.

“I don’t know what the hell just happened. I swear there was a girl right in the middle of the road! She was just looking dead straight at the car. I thought she was going to jump! How could you not have seen her?”

“I don’t know! I was just—Well I don’t think we hit her… Did we?”

Kim questioned as the two looked at one another. Both went out and looked around. There was no sign of the girl anywhere including the car. With nothing on the grill Kim felt something was off. As the two got back into the car she questioned her.

“Did you see what the girl looked like?”

Y/n hesitated saying Renesmee’s name. How could she explain to Kim, “oh yes the girl Jacob was with”, without sounding crazy? “Tall, thin, and pale with brown wavy hair” y/n tried to be as vague as possible.

For Kim her mind started to turn. Y/n on the other hand was surprised Kim believed her. After a few seconds it clicked for Kim. There was no way it wasn’t Renesmee, after her and Jacob’s big arrival, there was only one vampire in town.

It wouldn’t be long before her family would follow. Kim knew she needed to alert Jared right away. Y/n noticed Kim’s behaviour change from surprised to serious. Kim turned to face her calmly, which in a strange way, comforted y/n immensely.

“Let’s just say it was a deer. Okay? I’m sure it was with how much wild life there is here… in the meantime we should get going… I needed my coffee like yesterday” Kim said finishing off with an encouraging smile.

Y/n who was still shaken up struggled to put her seat belt back on. But agreed with her nonetheless. She wanted to get away from this road at this point.

“Do you want me to drive?”

“No I’ll be okay. Just a bit shaken up but breakfast will cheer me up”

As the two gathered them selves for breakfast. Y/n pulled out and continued down the road. Although Kim felt her cousin was handling herself. In y/n’s mind all that she could think of was the cold eyes of Renesmee.

Kim struggled to think of why Renesmee would do this. She had hardly knew the girl. But she did know she was a vampire, that’s all she needed to know, all she could think was that she was hunting. Hoping she was a vegetarian like her family.

The thought of y/n somehow being on the menu for Renesmee terrified her. She knew she needed to keep y/n close to her side. At all costs even if y/n somehow got tired of her she decided.

Arriving at the diner it was a comfort for y/n. The building held a lot of close memories for her. It was also nice to just sit down and relax. Kim knew she needed to call Jared sooner than later.

“So I was thinking about tonight, and I wanted us to have a bit of fun before we leave, how about I get Jared to drive us? He can be our DD and you don’t have to worry about driving?” Kim was sincere on this offer. Jared wouldn’t mind knowing him Kim thought.

“You sure? I mean it’s no issue…Did I scare you that much earlier? I’m sorry I just swear I seen that girl. She was so close to hitting the car I panicked—“

“No no you’re good there I believe you! I still trust you and your driving skills. But like I said I wanted us two to pregame at least. Can’t pregame and drive at the same time”

Y/n thought of it as Kim was already texting Jared. “Y’know what? Sure why not” y/n agreed as she smiled while Kim got up from her chair. “I’m gonna call and ask him now. The sooner the better with that guy” she joked while heading outside.

“I’ll be back in time to order” she said to y/n before Jared picked up. Kim quickly told him the situation, about how they seen Renesmee, although he didn’t show it Jared was stunned. Kim knew it as soon as he became serious.

“I’m going to be honest with you Quil told us about her already. But I’ll look into where Renesmee was this morning. I’ll be by to pick you guys up around six” he promised explaining where he was currently.

Y/n sat inside deciding what she wanted to order. With their coffee already served she enjoyed the hot cup. Although it was already a chaotic morning she didn’t want to let it ruin the day. She had a lot to look forward to.

Kim made her way inside eventually. The two ordered and enjoyed their breakfast. Sitting in a booth by the window y/n enjoyed the view. All until two figures came out of the distant fog. A woman and man both tall, broad, and skinny.

She looked curious at the two as they came out of the tree line. Walking on the road towards the diner, it was obvious the woman was getting after the man, who looked younger the more close he got. The two walking in a fast stride together as she roughed up the young guy.

The woman had short black hair and a beauty she’d never seen before. Wearing a black leather jacket and ripped jeans her figure looked flawless. Even under such baggy clothes her slim body looked like a models.

The young guy didn’t look a day over eighteen. With tan features as warm as his smile. He wore only a cut off sweat shirt and denim shorts. Despite it being the beginning of the year. It was hardly spring with how cold it still was.

It was funny watching the two obviously bicker and fight. But also it was so early where were they walking from y/n thought? The two wore regular sneakers so it wasn’t like they were hiking. She couldn’t help but be curious over the two.

Kim noticed the strange look on y/n’s face. Looking back she seen Leah and Seth Clearwater walking in. In her heart she knew why the two were truly there. “Hey guys” she greeted the two siblings as they came to the table.

“Good morning” Seth said as he wore a joyful expression. Y/n felt stunned by the two especially the woman. Who wore a stoic expression as she nodded to Kim. “Who’s this?” Leah asked while looking at y/n.

“Remember that cousin I was talking about? Well guys this is her, her names y/n, she just moved back. Y/n this is Leah and her little brother Seth” Kim smiled as the two eyed her down. Seth’s eyes were kinder Leah’s was defensive and curious.

“Hi” y/n said nervously as Seth grinned. “Hi I’m Seth! Good to see a new pretty face around here—“ he said before Leah nudged him with her elbow harshly. Making him cough as Leah finally smiled at her.

“Yeah It was nice meeting you y/n. Kim we’re just gonna pick up our food and head out. Do you…?” Leah trailed on hoping Kim would take notice. Subtly hinting around if she needed any help. Kim knew Jared must’ve sent her to check on them.

“No I’m good. We’ll see you later” Kim said trying to dismiss them before y/n noticed anything. “Hope to see you at the party later y/n!” Seth tried to get out before Leah pushed him around.

“Hey yeah I hope to see you there y/n. It’ll be good to have another girl to visit. I wish we could stay and chat now but we’re on a tight schedule” Leah smiled making y/n feel more comfortable. Smiling in return she made Leah’s heart skip a beat. “Haha yes I’ve heard that before. We’ll see you guys there” y/n joked as Leah was instead being pushed out by Seth.

“Let’s go before Sam notices we left” Seth ushered Leah as the two grabbed their bags. Sneaking a quick breakfast sandwich on their patrol shift. The two bid goodbye before walking back the same way.

“Where are they even going? They legit just came out of the woods” y/n questioned as Kim’s eyes widened. She didn’t think she would notice them. “Uhh well they like walking—“ Kim choked a bit on her food “They live close near here. Y’know it’s not that weird most people from the rez walk everywhere” she tried to explain.

Y/n shrugged it off as the two paid for their meals. Kim loves her dear cousin, it was horrible she had to hide who she was, and what type of life she truly led. She wondered how long before the veil comes off.

The house was filled with music as y/n’s speaker played loudly. Luckily her closest neighbour was all at least 1-2 kilometres away. The two sat up in y/n’s room as she scanned through her closet.

“I feel like I need new clothes. I mean what can I wear? It’s so cold out you can’t really dress cute” y/n complained as she continued skimming through her closet. Kim sat on the edge of the bed filing her nails. She sighed and put down the file.

“True but I’m sure I can figure something out if you want me to look”

“It’s okay I think I got an outfit lined up. What are you going to wear?” She asked Kim as she perked up from her seat. “I have this really cute jacket I wanna wear. Some jeans and maybe a pair of boots” Kim continued. Eventually fading to background noise for y/n as she sighed.

In y/n’s mind the flashes of Renesmee’s eyes kept haunting her. How she appeared in her dream. All morning she had been trying to shake off the stressful feeling. It must’ve showed on her face since Kim looked worried to her.

“Don’t worry from what I’ve seen in your closet you’ll be fine. Actually I know you’ll be looking *fine”* Kim assured y/n as she grabbed her hips. Y/n giggled but then turned back to being serious.

“It’s not the outfit I’m worried about… it’s just this morning…” Y/n felt as if her mind was cloudy. All attempts of moving and brushing it off seemed futile. Kims eyes widened as soon as she mentioned Renesmee.

“That girl? Y/n—“

“Look I don’t expect you to fully believe me. I know how I sound…But it’s just I feel like everything is catching up to me”

“Everything?” Kim questioned as she looked upon her cousins weary face. She slowly approached her as y/n looked up. “I’ve been dreaming crazy lately. I don’t know how to explain it. But I’m having a hard time trying to explain and understand it all myself” y/n sighed this time more solemnly.

“Look I get it… Things have been crazy for you lately what with grandpas death, Inheriting this house to yourself, living in a new place. But I think you just need to take a moment. Gather yourself and let’s have a good time together. Right? When was the last time you and I had fun together besides last night? Tonight is just one night you can forget all your other worries”

Kim encouraged y/n which did help her a lot. Y/n looked up at herself in the mirror with Kim behind her. Who smiled as she hugged her from the back. Y/n held onto her arms as the two looked at one another in the mirror.

“You’re right… Everything in my life has been so serious lately. It’ll be a fun night tonight” y/n said honestly as Kim grinned brightly. “See? That’s the spirit! It’ll be great, I’ll introduce you to everyone, we’ll have a lot of laughs” Kim stepped away to grab one of y/n’s jackets off the rack.

“And I think you’ll look hot in this” she said making y/n laugh. “Well we should get ready soon right? Isn’t Jared coming by soon?” y/n said making Kim realize the time. She nodded as she pulled out her phone. Seeing her missed notifications from Jared.

“Very true. I gotta answer him actually he’s tried calling me once already” Y/n nodded as Kim left the room heading downstairs. Stepping out onto the porch Kim made sure y/n couldn’t hear. Once she knew y/n wasn’t in earshot she got her phone. After the first ring Jared had answered Kim.

“Hey”

“Hey there handsome. So what did you find?” Kim asked as she leaned against the porch railing. Jared sighed as he slammed the truck door. Tired as he walked inside Sam’s house.

“So we know Jacob and Renesmee are back in town. Sam’s all uptight because we know the Cullens aren’t far behind. I just got back from seeing Jacob actually” Kim cut in almost immediately. “What did he say?” She asked eagerly waiting for him to answer.

“—Well all I know is Renesmee has been with him this whole time. She hasn’t left his sight since they got here”

“What?” Kim asked confused, she thought y/n had seen her today, who else could move that fast? “Yeah Jacob swears she’s been home. I did my part and got the info out of him. Now you gotta explain why. Are you in trouble? Don’t tell me something happened with a vampire—”

Jared asked worried sick, because why would his beloved ask about a vampire, when he knew she could care less about them? Kim shushed him over the phone as she stepped further from the house.

“—Look we’re both fine! I can’t really explain at the moment. Maybe later when the timing is better. But for now thank you for the intel. And again we’re both fine! Perfectly fine! I’m busy with my cousin y/n right now remember? We’re tryna get ready for the party. On that note are you gonna—“

“Yes I’ll be coming by in a bit here to pick up the both of you. Let’s say in an hour? I still gotta do a patrol check before the other guys swap in” Jared answered before she could even finish. The two operated on the same wave length since forever.

For Kim it was always a lovely feeling when they were in sync. She smiled ear to ear as she thanked him. Before promising something special for him later tonight. Which made Jared smile the same way.

“But you’re sure you and y/n are okay? I can come by now—“

“Thank you! Love you I’ll see you in a bit” Kim said blowing a few kisses before hanging up. Jared sighed as he put his phone away. Kim decided to brush off the whole Renesmee ordeal. Because really it could’ve been anyone in front of the car. All that mattered to Kim was no one was hurt or killed.

On the other hand she was worried for her cousin. Kim knew she wasn’t crazy but something in her gut told her, y/n was going through something, Kim trusted she’d get to the bottom of it. Opting to watch over y/n closely from now on.

Jared arrived when he said he would. His pickup truck roaring loud announcing his arrival. Hopping in the truck y/n prepared herself for the whole ordeal. Wondering who else she’ll meet tonight.

The sky was filled with baby blues, soft orange hues, and pink highlights. As the sun was getting close to sunset it was already so colourful outside. The three chatting as Jared drove music blasting.

Pulling up she could see a group of people running around the beach. They were dressed as if it was summer. Shorts and hoodies some even wore cutoff shirts. Kicking around a soccer ball playing a game.

The three got out of the truck as Kim linked arms with y/n. Making her feel even more comfortable. At the main fire there were logs people were sitting on. One woman and one man sat together, rising up once they approached, the rest stopped playing and made their way to the fire.

“Hey guys” Kim said as the two people made their way to greet them. The woman had a scar right across her face but it didn’t affect her beauty. With dark soft straight hair, beautiful cheekbones, she was tall around 5’7. Y/n felt her self taken away by her beauty but was quickly overtaken by the man who was at her side.

The man was huge, at least 6’5-6’6 he stood with broad shoulders, looking fierce which made y/n feel intimidated. Black hair with eyes that matched he held the scarred woman close to her side. Giving off a very intense feeling to y/n.

“Hey glad you guys made it” the woman said as the two smiled. “Guys this is my cousin I’ve been talking about. Say hi~” Kim said as the rest of the group arrived. Rushing in as a huge pack they surrounded the three.

“Hey I’m y/n” she said as the group roared in excitement. From the group she could recognize was Quil, Leah, and Seth. No sign of Embry but a whole pack of rowdy boys eager to meet y/n. Before being able to mutter another word the boys spoke over each other.

“So you’re the new girl?—“

“Finally a new face pretty one at that—“

“New girl? I thought she was Kim’s cousin—“

“Do you play soccer?—“

The man with the scarred woman gave a glare to the group. Before anything they all straightened themselves out. As he turned back he gave a kind smile, so did the woman, as they reached out to give a handshake.

“Don’t mind these boys they’re just excited. I’m Emily and this is my Fiancée Sam” she said as the two shook y/n’s hand. “We’re glad you made it. Kim and Quil spoke great things about you�� Sam replied. Both gave off a warm welcome making y/n feel more at ease.

“Thanks for the invite” y/n gave a small smile as the crowd was stifling excitement. “No problem. We’re happy to have new people around. Hope you’re thirsty and hungry there’s plenty to go around” Emily waved her hands to the area.

Before she could take another step Seth rushed forward. Blocking the way as he smiled brightly. The crowd of boys circled around him as an even bigger blockade. Kim and Leah expressed their annoyance with a loud “ugh” as Kim crossed her arms.

“So y/n these are my bros lemme show you. We got Brady, Thomas, and Damien here” Seth introduced the boys. All whose face showed their youth but their bodies showed otherwise. With stern expressions and tight lips they scanned y/n.

The three boys outside of Seth looked around his age. All had dark thick hair, with lean tall figures, and tan skin. Shuffling up to the front were the younger boys. Faces whose expressions were a mix of either excited or nervous.

“This is Colin, Don, and Lil’ Ricky” Seth said as he ruffled up “Lil’ Ricky’s” hair messily. “My names Rick you’re the only one who calls me Lil’ Rick” he argued under Seth’s rough housing. “Ricky Rick!” Colin chimed in as he joined Seth. Eventually the boys continued to all rough house on one another.

“Uh— Great meeting you guys” Y/n said nervously as she watched the chaos ensue. They didn’t look too different from one another, with boyish youth they were still small, lanky with lean bodies. Although they were quite tall for their ages they were still shorter than the rest of the guys present.

“Jesus Christ—“

“For fucks sake—“

Quil and Jared exclaimed as they cut them off quickly. Quil shoved himself into the middle of the blockade. “Alright that’s enough! You guys have to settle” he said before Leah joined in. “Yeah Seth chill out! Go play with these stink boys” she said as her and Jared grabbed them by the collars.

“You guys don’t even play right just straight dirty. My sis here doesn’t need you guys being rough with her“ Quil barked as the boys just bashfully laughed. “That’s this guy sending dirty kick shots” Thomas said to Don who began to argue once more.

Leah expressed her frustration by sighing, giving a glare to Seth, he took the hint. Shoving the rest of them in the direction of the play area. They just shrugged their shoulders and dusted them selves off. Still giggling and laughing as they went to continue the game.

“Sorry about that they’re usually not that… Well they don’t usually act like this” Sam said trying to excuse their behaviour. “It’s no issue. A little too much excitement maybe?” Y/n joked making the rest of the group laugh. “I mean I’m not much a soccer player anyways” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Great! You can sit with me and tell me all about yourself” Emily said as she ushered in y/n to the campfire. Settling into the campsite they all began to visit. Asking y/n where she’s from and what she likes.

“So you’re an artist? Professionally?” Emily asked surprised. “Yes it’s what I’ve been doing since I’ve been young, maybe 17-18, around there. I work and have trained to use most mediums”

Y/n continued since everyone seemed interested. Emily especially as she piped up in excitement. Which was a change from her usual nonchalant expression everyone else was used to

“That’s awesome. I’m an artist too” Emily said with a faint blush on her face. As Sam smiled with pride as he leaned on her. “Really?” Y/n asked glad to find a friend with similar interests. “Oh yes she’s one of La Push’s greatest artists” He proudly proclaimed.

“What type of art do you make?” She asked Emily earnestly. “I’m a weaver, I’m also a teacher, I teach kids weaving at the school here in La Push” Emily continued as Y/n was eager to hear more.

The two clicked together quite easily, finding a lot of each other in one another, in such a small amount of time. The rest of the group which was Sam, Jared, Kim, Leah, and Quil visiting one another. While the rest of the boys continued to play.

Eventually the group grew into a comfortable formality. The time passed like no other as the sun started to set among the horizon. The boys could no longer play without seeing. So they joined the others at the bonfire.

At this point all were fighting for the chance to talk to y/n. Kim and Quil had to remind everyone to settle every now and then. Since y/n sat being bombarded by questions. In all honesty y/n didn’t mind much, it was fun being around so much excitement, she appreciated how friendly and close everyone was.

“I heard you girls had quite the wild morning” Jared chimed in as everyone seemed to already know what happened. Given their reaction y/n could only nod in agreement. “Oh really?” Emily asked curiously as Kim gave a wild look to Jared.

Flashbacks of Renesmee’s eyes flooded y/n’s brain. So much for trying to rid herself of her worries y/n thought. Her anxiety about it all started to rise again. She wondered how much Kim revealed to everyone.

“Yeah it was crazy almost hitting that deer right y/n?” Kim said giving y/n the look of ‘just agree’. Y/n nervously laughed as she once again nodded. “It really was crazy I mean I’m glad no one was hurt” she said which was true for y/n anyways.

The group erupted once more with a hundred more questions. Intrigued by the idea of her and Kim “drifting” around early this morning. Kim and y/n stared at each other as Kim gave an apologetic look. A “Sorry I tell my boyfriend everything” type of look y/n would soon become familiar with.

“It all happened so fast I’m surprised y/n was able to stop safely” Kim continued as everyone looked at the two. “I’m sure you’re shaken up by that. I totally would be if I were you” Emily added as Sam pulled her closer.

Y/n hesitated to answer, trying to ease hee never slightly before she did, giving a reassuring smile to the group. “I mean I feel okay right now. I’d be way different if I actually hit the poor animal” she said causing Leah and Seth to laugh at the poor animal comment.

“Yep but they’re pretty shaken up I had to pick up these poor girls. Save them from driving and hitting another sucker” Jared cockily teased. Kim gutted him with her elbow making the group erupt in laughter.

“Oh please that was you crying to pick us up! Besides you’re just the DD tonight! Me and y/n are gonna have some fun and be drunk as fuck while we do it right y/n?”

“Wha?—Uh? I mean yeah—“ y/n said surprised before Leah cut her off “To getting drunk as fuck!” She yelled. Getting everyone hype even the young boys who couldn’t even drink yet. Emily and Sam gave each other a look before the two laughed shaking their heads.

Sam and Emily started to offer the group alcohol. Which had been sitting in the coolers on ice while they ate and visited. Different beers and coolers sat on the ice. Although y/n was wanting one she hesitated.

Seeing that some of the boys present weren't of age. She was nervous if the group would allow them to drink or not. Seeing the reaction Quil responded. “Don’t worry these boys are gonna go home soon. Just waiting for the rest to come before they take their rides home” as Quil finished one of them reached for a beer.

Before anything it was smacked out of their hand from Sam. “Smarten up these aren’t for you. I put Pepsi and other drinks in the other cooler” he sternly said as the boys pouted. Reaching into the cooler full of soda instead.

“Do you even drink y/n? Or are you just trying to be shy” Leah asked already sitting with an open beer. As if it were a challenge Leah stared down at her. Y/n laughed as she shook her head. “God no” she reached for a cooler making Leah give an approving smile.

In all honesty y/n had started to get that alert feeling again. She felt comfortable with the group. But she knew that wasn’t the cause of it. It was something else she couldn’t control.

Totally outside of her dreams, Renesmee, the nervousness of meeting new people, it was a different feeling entirely. At least this alcohol would help ease the weird feeling rising in her body.

As she cracked into it, the group of boys stood up suddenly, y/n didn’t notice until she looked up. Before she knew it there was a group of four men coming at them. Running across the beach from the tree line.

Y/n thought it was strange considering how late the hour it was. She felt the back of her neck tingle, the hairs on her body standing up all over, although she had yet to take even a sip.

The boys rushed out to greet the four men. But at closer look it was two young boys, Embry who finally showed up, and some other guy who she couldn’t see fully. Blocked by the crowd of rowdy boys in from of them.

The two older ones, the stranger and Embry, were talking with the boys. A gruff unfamiliar voice that scolded them about “getting their asses straight to their home base”. As Embry roughed housed one of the young boys.

To y/n the voice reminded her of an almost military command. ‘Good luck trying to get these boys to listen’ she thought as she took a sip of her drink. But to her surprise they all did as they all argued on who would drive.

Heading up to the trucks in a frenzy she watched in awe. Amongst them she could see the stranger but not clearly. As him and Embry made their way to the fire, their younger brothers rushing around them, the closer they came the more her heart paced.

“Don’t worry those are my brothers” Sam assured y/n sensing the uneasiness coming from her. She nodded as she awaited for Embry to at least join the group. One of the biggest reasons she wanted to come was to talk to Embry.

The rest of the group stood up to greet the four men as they approached. “They all may look big and scary but they don’t bite. Trust me” Emily said as a way of comforting y/n. She smiled to assure Emily but struggled to shake off the weird feeling she had.

As she stood up her line of sight met with him, breath taken away as he stared into her and her whole being, with intense black eyes and a wild look. Y/n stood frozen in place as soon as they saw one another.

She felt like a deer in front of headlights. But unlike the deer afraid of the headlights, and what they stood for, she welcomed it. For it was a feeling like no other. Wanting to bask in the light forever.

Time seemed to stop as she and this man looked at one another. Nothing else around mattered, it all drowned and faded out slowly, as she watched the man’s breath steadily become stronger like a pant.

Taking in his features he stood tall with strong broad shoulders. Tan brown skin with black coarse short hair. Full eyebrows that furrowed as he scanned her as well. He had rugged but handsome features. All which made y/n’s heart skip a full beat.

She had never felt such a strong intensity, such a strong need and desire, for a man like she did now. It was as if her feet and everything else were pulling herself to him. It was there and then she realized why she had been feeling this way for so long. Or at least her instincts told her so. He took a step towards her, lifting his hand slightly, everything in her seized ready for what was to come.

But upon seeing the man snap his head away, stepping backwards, his brothers tried to urge him to settle. She felt a tinge of pain and something that felt like rejection rush through her. As the men around him tried to make him stay.

Time and reality came crashing down onto y/n. Sucking the air back into her lungs she could hear noise coming back to her. As Emily and Kim rushed to her side, not realizing she was staggering backwards as well, Kim latched y/n’s arm under her own.

“Y/n! Jesus are you okay? You’re basically stepping into the fire. And you almost dropped your cooler” Kim asked as y/n tried to understand what just happened. Hearing the yells of Quil and his brothers calling out for the man. She looked up trying to find him among the group of men.

“I’m gonna take these boys home. I’ll be right back” he answered as he walked up to the boys trucks. “Paul!” They continued to cry out loudly as he gave one last look to y/n. Stopping for a moment just to look at her.

She somehow wanted to stop him. Maybe if she cried out like his brothers he’d stop she thought. Before he shook his head in disbelief before running. Y/n began to feel a deep ache in her chest as she sat back down. Reminded of how much a stranger she truly is to them all.

Emily and Kim attempted to comfort y/n as she watched him pull away. As if they knew what she was feeling exactly. Taking the group of boys home in a hurry, spitting rocks as he pulled out, the guys left behind groaned.

“And that was my brother Paul” Sam said defeated by his behaviour. Giving a big sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. “He’ll be back” he added as y/n stared off into the distance. Trying to cope with what she all just experienced.

Y/n realized how crazy she seemed right now. Shaking her head in disbelief she couldn’t believe herself! Since when did she ever want to run into a man’s arms? A stranger at that. It was totally unlike herself.

Embry came and sat by her at some point. But she was too distracted to give him her full attention. She wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Left in a state of confusion. Instead she remembered Leah’s words from earlier. Continuing to finish the rest of her cooler drink.

Reminiscing the wild look in Paul's eyes her heart paced loudly. She hated herself at how much she craved to know him. Was that all it’d take for her to be impressed? She refused trying to keep herself in check.

All she could do was build up courage for when he returned. What face should she make? Should she even introduce herself? Why was she thinking about it all so hard? Most of all did he experience what she felt as well?

End of chapter 2, we finally get to meet Paul, although I’m sure not much expected this reaction. I took some extra time in between editing with adding more characters to the wolf pack. Since we’re told in both the book and movie there’s around seven more members. But the only names we know is Colin Littlesea and Brady Fuller. More to come in the future with both the wolves and vampires. Don’t be shy to leave a comment in the meantime 🫶😌

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winchesterwild78 · 3 days ago

Text

An Unexpected Friendship pt 5

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: mentions of death, fluff

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter has the Reader meeting Jared and Gen, and gifting Jensen something spicy for his birthday.

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors.

Minors DNI 18+

The next morning I woke up before anyone else in the house. I crept downstairs and decided to start making breakfast. I heard the creak of the stairs and then felt warm, strong arms around me. I smiled as I leaned against Jensen’s chest. He moved my hair and softly kissed my neck, “Good morning beautiful.” “Good morning, Jensen.” I smiled.

“What are you doing up so early?” He asked as he turned me around to face him. “I wanted to make breakfast for everyone. I figured the kids would need breakfast before they went outside to play. Jensen softly kissed my lips, “Let me help you.” I nodded as I handed him the spatula to flip the pancakes.

I moved around the kitchen getting the rest of breakfast ready. Being in the kitchen, making breakfast for all of us with Jensen felt easy, perfect. As the two of us cooked and moved around the kitchen, we would steal little kisses and touches. It made my heart flutter and made me giggle a little. Jensen would smirk every time I let out a giggle.

Just as we finished cooking we heard the unmistakable sound of little feet bounding down the stairs, “Sounds like the kids are up.” Jensen chuckled. “Yeah, by the sound of it, all of them are.” I smiled.

All four kids came into the kitchen. “Good morning, guys.” I greeted them with a smile. “Good morning.” They all said, almost in unison. “I hope you’re hungry, we made breakfast.” The kids sat around the table as Jensen and I plated their food.

As we ate we talked about some things we had going on soon. Jensen told us he was due to leave in about a week to start filming in Toronto. The kids all looked a little sad. I tried to hide my sadness, but my eyes met Jensen’s and he knew.

“So I want to invite Jared, Gen and the kids over tonight. I want them to meet you and Jazzy and hang out before I have to leave. I figured we could grill out and have dinner.” The kids squealed in delight and told Jazzy how much fun Tom, Shep and Odette are.

I was a little nervous. This was Jensen’s best friend and I wasn’t exactly sure if he would approve of mine and Jensen’s relationship moving so quickly.

After breakfast was done the kids went upstairs to change and I started to clean up. Jensen came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly. I nodded yes, not trusting my voice. I could feel the sting of the tears in my eyes.

This was the first time Jensen was leaving us and I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. He turned me around to face him and he saw the tears in my eyes. “Oh baby, what’s wrong?” “Nothing, Jens. It’s stupid. I’ll be okay.” He lifted my chin, “Sweetheart, it’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you, and clearly whatever it is is really bothering you. Please, baby. Talk to me.”

I took a deep, steading breath, “Honestly I’m a little nervous to meet Jared and Gen. What if they don’t like me and tell you we are moving too fast and you decide to break up with me. I’m also a little sad you’re leaving. I understand you have to go film, but this is the first time you will be gone.”

“Well first, Jared and Gen are going to love you because I do, and filming is something we will have to navigate together. I try not to be gone too long, and I will FaceTime you every day. I can’t go a day without seeing you, so you better be ready for our video calls.” He chuckled.

I felt a little better, but it still was in the back of my mind. I finished cleaning, and got showered and dressed. After we were all dressed, we decided to take the kids shopping and then to the grocery store to get stuff to cook. Jensen had called Jared and he loved the idea of coming over to eat and meet us.

“So Y/N, while I’m gone filming I’ll call the nanny that usually keeps the kids for me so you don’t have to worry about anything.” I looked at him a little taken back, “Oh okay, if that’s what you think is best.” Jensen continued driving, but looked over at me. “Baby, are you okay?” He took my hand in his. "Yeah, I mean I guess. I understand you getting the nanny, but honestly I thought I would look after them. If I’m going to be a part of their lives, I’m going to have to figure out how to navigate life with four kids.” As Jensen pulled into a parking spot he looked over at me, “Honey, I was going to call in the nanny to help. You will still be in charge. She’s just going to be an extra set of hands for you.” He smiled at me. “Oh okay, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I appreciate that Jensen.” I leaned over and kissed his lips, earning “ewws” from the backseat.

Jensen and I laughed and got out of the car.

We got the kids out and went into the store to shop. Jensen picked up some things he needed for his trip, the kids all got new shoes and I picked up some things I needed for the house. Jensen disappeared for a few minutes as the kids and I made our way to the check out lane.

A few hours later we were home, Jensen had fired up the grill and the Padalecki’s were there. I was so nervous when they walked in, but Jared pulled me into a big bear hug and made me feel instantly at ease. “I’m so glad you’re okay and you’re here taking care of our boy. He was worried sick about you.” Gen was just as sweet, telling me she could see how much Jensen cared about me just by looking at him.

“He’s been a little adrift after his wife died, so I’m glad he found you, and he has you.” I smiled softly at her as she said that to me, “I’m glad I found him too. He’s an incredible person, an amazing father, and an even better boyfriend. I am going to miss him when he leaves next week for filming. I just hope we can navigate this together.”

Gen touched my hand, “Hey, I’m here for you. When the guys leave for filming or conventions, it’s hard. It does get a bit easier though. If you need anything while he’s gone, you call me. In fact, let’s figure out a girls day while he’s gone and the kids are in school.”

I smiled brightly, “That would be wonderful, thank you, Gen.” Jared walked over a few minutes later and sat down beside his wife, “So, Y’N. How’s things going? Is our boy treating you well?” I smiled, “Yes, he’s incredible, and Jazzy loves him so much.” “Jensen’s birthday is in about 4 days, so right before he leaves. Do you have anything planned?” Jared asked.

“Actually yes, I had pictures taken for him of all four of the kids and had prints made, I also ended up getting him something I can’t tell you about because it’s private and for his eyes only.” I smiled as he got a confused look on his face. Gen smiled at her husband's confusion.

Then the realization hit him and he blushed a little. Gen and I laughed. Jensen looked over at the three of us and smiled. He continued cooking and Jared got up and walked over to him.

Gen looked over at Jensen and then back at me. “He’s in love with you, I hope you know that. I’ve seen that look one other time in all the years I’ve known him, and he married that girl.” I smiled and looked at Jensen then back at her, “I’m in love with him too. I know it’s fast and it doesn’t make sense, but there is just something about him. Being with him is easy, being with the kids is easy.”

Gen touched my arm and smiled, “Don’t let anyone tell you two it’s too fast. When you know you know, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. I knew Jared was it for me right away. It was love at first sight.”

Jared and Jensen were talking around the grill, “Hey man, I really like Y/N, and her daughter is adorable. She seems like she’s good for you and the kids.” Jared said to Jensen. “Yeah, Jar, everything feels right. I’m in love with her.” Jared touched Jensen’s shoulder, “I know man, I know.”

As the evening came to an end, Gen and I exchanged numbers and picked a day to go to the spa. We all agreed to go to dinner for Jensen’s birthday before he left for filming. Hearing again he was leaving made my heart a little sad. I knew he had projects already set up, but as the days creeped closer to him leaving I grew sadder.

We said our goodbyes, and got the kids in bed. As Jazzy crawled in bed she started to cry. “What’s wrong baby?” I asked as I tried to hold her. “I don’t want Daddy Jensen to leave. He won’t come home to me.” Jensen heard her and walked into the room and sat on the bed beside her. “Baby girl, I promise I’ll be home before you know it.”

She threw her arms around his neck and held tightly. “Daddy, please don’t leave me.” She cried. My heart broke and Jensen’s did too. He held her tightly and did his best to quiet her fears. “Shh baby, it’s okay.” Jensen ended up rocking her until she fell asleep in his arms.

He gently laid her down and covered her up. We slipped out of the room and in the hallway I threw my arms around him and kissed him, “Thank you, Jensen. You are an incredible father.” He pulled me close and kissed me back, “And you’re an incredible mother.”

Jensen and I crawled into bed and made love until we were both satisfied, then we laid in each other’s arms and talked. We talked about his trip, the kids, and our future.

The next few days passed too fast. Jensen’s birthday was in two days and I started to get nervous about his gift. I wondered if he would really like what I got him, more specifically the special gift from me. I knew he’d love the pictures of the kids, but I was getting nervous about my gift.

Jazzy came into my room fidgeting. “Mommy.” “Yes, baby?” “Um Daddy’s birthday is soon and I want to get him something.” I smiled at her, “Baby I already picked up something from the four of you.” She hung her head, “Oh, okay.” I took her hand and smiled softly, “Jazzy, go get your coat and we can go find something.” She smiled brightly and took off.

“Jens, I’m taking Jazzy out for a bit, we will be back shortly.” Jensen walked into the room and kissed my lips, “Okay baby. Be careful. I love you.” I leaned back in and kissed him, “I love you too.”

Jazzy and I went to the store and she carefully walked through each aisle. She’d pick up something, carefully inspect it and then put it back down. I could tell she was getting frustrated. That’s when I saw a plaque that talked about a dad who stepped up and didn’t have to. I picked it up and read it with a smile on my face.

Jazzy looked up at me, “Mommy, what does it say?” I read it to her, “Stepped Up Dad. One who made the Choice to love another’s child as their own. One who Steps Up to provide, Protect, encourage and love. You may not have Given me the gift of life but you have given me the Gift of you. Thank you for being the Father you didn’t have to be.”

Her eyes went wide, “Mommy that’s Daddy Jensen.” I smiled, “Yes it is baby.” “Mommy, can I get that for him?” I smiled and nodded. She carefully carried it to the register and I paid the bill. When we got home she carried it to her room and I took her some wrapping paper. She wanted to wrap it herself.

As she was wrapping her gift she looked over and saw her stuffed rabbit she’d had since she was a baby. She smiled and got an idea.

The day of Jensen’s birthday I made him his favorite breakfast, the kids all made him cards and it was time for me to give him the gifts I had made for him. Before I could give him the pictures of the kids, Jazzy came in with her gift.

She handed it to Jensen with a big smile on her face. I noticed the gift looked like she had added something to it, I just wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Jensen smiled as he was opening her gift. As soon as he opened it her stuffed bunny fell out. Jensen looked a little confused, “Baby girl, did you mean to wrap this?” Jensen held up the bunny.

She nodded, “Yes, so you can take it with you when you go. To keep you company and remind you of me.” Jensen pulled her close and kissed her head, “Thank you baby girl.” He carefully sat the bunny down and opened the rest of the gift. He read the plaque and you saw tears prick his eyes. He looked at you and then at Jazzy. “I love this so much sweetie.” He pulled her close.

Then I handed him a box. He looked at me and smiled. When he opened the box he gasped. “These are beautiful! Wow! Look at all my babies together.” I had him larger prints made, but I also had him a small flipbook made so he could take it with him. He stood up and pulled me up and into his arms, “These are amazing, thank you baby.” Jensen kissed me deeply.

After he opened his gifts the kids went to play and it was time for me to give him my gift. I took a deep breath, “Um, Jens. I have another gift for you.” His eyes sparkled “Baby, you didn't have to get me anything else.” “I know, but I wanted to. I’m just really nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before and honestly I’m terrified.”

Jensen cupped my face and looked in my eyes, “Darlin’ you don’t ever have to be nervous or scared with me.” I took a deep breath and let it out, then handed him another box.

Jensen opened it and pulled out the bound book. As he flipped through it, I noticed the smirk on his face grow wider and it turned into a genuine smile. “Damn, I’m a lucky man. These are incredible, beautiful. You’re beautiful.” I blushed as he looked at the boudoir pictures I had made for him. As he flipped through the book I noticed he was getting more excited, and he had to adjust his pants.

When he got to the last picture he started laughing. His head went back and he laughed. The last photo was me wearing nothing but a “I Love Dean Winchester” shirt. I chuckled.

He pulled me close and kissed me. “Thank you baby. These were absolutely incredible and the pictures of all our babies together was perfect. I actually have an appointment I need to get to, but I’ll be back soon. Are you okay with holding down the fort?” I nodded, “Yes, baby. Go ahead and head out. We will be fine. Besides, the kids wanted to surprise you with something later anyway, so this works out perfectly.”

I kissed him quickly and he headed out while the kids and I got busy making his cake.

A few hours later the cake was ready and Jensen came home. He smiled when he saw the cake. “Hey, Y/N, kids, can you guys come here?”

All of us went into the family room and Jensen's smile was huge. “So guys, Y/N and Jazzy are a big part of our family now. We live together, and I love them very much.” He looked at his children, “And I know you three love them too. Jazzy like a sister and Y/N like a second mom.” The kids shook their heads yes.

“So I did something today to make sure everyone else knows how much I love them.” Then he lifted his shirt and we saw on his arm a new tattoo. Intertwined with the tattoos he had for his children was a bouquet of Jasmine flowers.

I gasped when I saw it. I couldn’t believe he added a tattoo for Jazzy. Jazmyne was speechless when we explained it to her.

“Daddy got me on his arm, too?” “Yes, baby. I did.” All the kids gathered around him and looked at his arm. They loved it too.

“Okay guys, let’s go get some dinner with Uncle Jared and Aunt Gen.” Jensen said as he stood up. “Kids go change. I laid your clothes on your beds.” I told them as they bounded up the stairs.

Jensen and I walked to our shared room and started to change. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. “See something you like, Ms Y/L/N?” I stepped closer and rested my hands on his bare chest, “Oh absolutely, Mr Ackles. You just wait until we get home tonight. I saved those outfits from the pictures.” I winked at him and went to walk past him. He grabbed me and growled, “Mmm I can’t wait to see them on you, and take them off.” I giggled as he pulled me closer.

*Time Jump to the day Jensen leaves*

The morning of the day Jensen had to leave was a bit somber. JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin were used to Jensen leaving, but that didn’t mean it was easy for them. I was worried about Jazmyne. She had been having nightmares about Jensen not coming home and she didn’t want him to leave her side. Two nights ago she woke up from a nightmare and wouldn’t let Jensen go, so he laid down beside her and fell asleep laying on her bed.

Last night was another night of tears and her begging him not to leave. Jensen found his old stuffed Care Bear he had when he was younger and gave it to her to hold. “Jazzy, this was mine when I was about your age. This is Braveheart Bear. My mother bought him for me to keep with me to help me be brave when they were gone for work. You see, my dad went away to act too, and I would miss him. So my mom got me this and look, *he pointed to the bear’s foot), it has my name on it. I want you to hold on to it. It will help you be brave while I’m gone. So you have my stuffy, and I have yours.” She took the bear and held it tightly against her chest.

She finally drifted off to sleep. This morning when she got up she was carrying it around with her. I laid on our shared bed in Jensen’s shirt as he packed. I kept sliding his shirt further up my thigh. I giggled as he groaned.

“Baby, you’re killing me.” He bit his lower lip. “Oh I know.” I smirked. Jensen dropped his bag and climbed on the bed, hovering over me and started to pepper me with kisses. “God I’m going to miss you, Y/N.” “I’m going to miss you too, Jensen.”

Jensen got up and carried his bags downstairs. I got dressed and went down to join him. I could hear the kids playing as I helped Jensen gather the last bit of stuff to put in his bag.

I had his charger and other things and went to put them in his bag. I walked into the living room expecting his bags to be by the door but they weren’t there. “Hey, Jensen. Where are your bags?” “They are by the front door.” I looked around and still didn’t see them.

“Honey, they aren’t there.” Jensen walked in the room, “What? I just set them down.” We searched all over the house for his bags and couldn’t find them. We walked into the playroom and found JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin playing, “Hey guys, have you seen daddy’s bags?” They looked up and in unison said no.

“Have you three seen Jazzy?” I asked as I realized she wasn’t in the room. “She was in her room.” Arrow answered.

I walked to Jazzy’s room and found her sitting on her bed with Breaveheart. “Hey Jazzy, have you seen Jensen’s bags?” She shook her head quickly and looked down. Jensen appeared at the door and I looked at him.

“Jazmyne Marie, did you do something with the bags?” I asked sternly. She lowered her head and shook her head yes, then pointed to behind the bed. Jensen stepped over and looked, finding his bags. He pulled the bags out and looked at me. “Jazmyne Marie, why would you take his bags? You know he needs to leave.”

Tears fell from her eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want him to leave.” I was about to say something else, but Jensen touched my arm and stopped me. “It’s okay, darlin’. I’ve got this. “Baby girl, come here.” Jensen pulled Jazzy into his lap. “I promise the days will go by fast. You’ve got your mama, JJ, Arrow and Zeppy. You also have Braveheart, and I have Mr. Bunny. I also had this made for you.” He pulled out a small box and Jazzy opened it. It was a heart shaped locket like the girls had. Jensen opened it and showed her a picture of her on one side and him on the other. “Now, we will always be together no matter how far apart we are.”

“I love it, thank you.” She said as he put it on around her neck.

The time to say goodbye to Jensen had arrived. The kids cried and held him tightly. He had tears in his eyes too. Then he pulled me flush to his chest, “I love you so much, Y/N. You take good care of our babies while I’m gone, and I promise when I get back, you and I will spend the whole day in bed.” I kissed him deeply, “I’ll hold you to that, Ackles.”

Jensen grabbed his bags and headed outside with them. He loaded the SUV, turned to wave goodbye and blew us a kiss. “I love you five so much, take care of each other while I’m gone, and kids be good.” We waved, blew kisses and watched him drive away. I stood there wondering how I was going to survive the next month without him, without his kiss, without his arms wrapped around me.

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#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #jensen ackles #jackles #jensen ackles x plus size reader #jensen ackles x reader

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thatoneevanfan · 3 days ago

Text

Poly!Marauders x Reader

Plot: Your boyfriends were bet 50

galleons to ignore you.

warnings: hurt/comfort (very late comfort) crying cursing

________________________________

Sirius had been the first to ignore you. At first you didn’t notice it because it started small. He walked past you in the hall which you quickly wrote off to him not seeing you. Then he started ignoring your texts which you, again, wrote off to him not seeing them. You started getting suspicious when he started reading your texts and also started walking away from you when he saw you walking over to him.

You desperately wanted an answer and decided to ask Remus. He was usually the one to know everything. Remus seemed a little dry as well but he told you not to worry about it. So you didn’t. You figured he’d been having a bad day.

What really started ticking you off was when James completely ditched your study date. You had planned a study date for a subject you could not seem to understand. When you called him multiple times and he usually picks up but what he certainly has never done, was decline your call. You were very pissed at this point.

You decided to stay calm and waited at your dorm for them to come over. On fridays you all watched movies at your place. They always called or texted incase they couldn’t make it. It was half an hour past the planned date and you hadn’t received any type of call or text.

You decided to investigate and entered the Gryffindor common room. No trace of them. You decided to hit up the great hall incase they were still eating. they were not. You went over to their dorm and certainly- there they were. Watching the movie you guys had planned to watch all together. They hadn’t even noticed you peaking your head through the door.

What really threw you off the edge was the Girl sitting in the middle of them watching the movie with them. Now they were not doing anything inappropriate or anything considered cheating, but you were still feeling very cheated. You turned around and slammed the door shut and stormed off to your dorm again.

You expected them to show up- or at least one of them. None of them came. Not one single call was sent your way- not. even. a. text. You were beyond mad and not just that- you were hurt.

They wanted to ignore you. Great. Two can play that game or in this case four. The next day they were still ignoring you. You gave yourself the task to also ignore them for multiple hours. For about 5 hours it went fine. But you were really starting to get tired of the whole thing. Many things happened throughout the day that you desperately wanted to tell them about.

„What are you guys doing?“ I walked up to them with a bit of unease. They look up at you and continue talking to each other. completely ignoring you. again. „Did I do something wrong?“ You asked with a crack in your voice, internally facepalming at your crack. You were really good at hiding your emotions. Wow. Only Lupin looked up at you with a bit of pity but went back to ignoring you again. „Is this your way of breaking up with me?“ I ask them with tears welling in my eyes.

This is what finally broke the silence. „No guys I can’t do this any longer this was a bad idea. It’s mean.“ Remus said looking up at you at the end of the sentence. „Remus come on we almost did it.“ Sirius said. „Did what? can you guys just explain what’s going on?“ You asked-no begged them. James looks up at you with a slight smile. „We were bet 50 galleons that we could ignore you for two days.“

Now you were pissed.

„You guys ignored me for a bet?“ I yell-asked them

_____________________________________________

#marauders #poly marauders #angst #hurt/comfort #sad #x reader #remus x reader #remus x sirius #sirius orion black #james potter #poly marauders x reader

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emmersonisdesperate · 4 hours ago

Text

This post wasn't supposed to be about Regulus "don't fucking touch me" Black and James "unless it's me :3" Potter. This wasn't a Jegulus post at ALL, idk how I forgot the main point.

Regulus Black and Physical Intimacy pt.2

The Slytherins and James were hanging out in the common room.

Barty and Pandora were slightly at a distance, conducting and inventing dangerous magic spells together. Evan was closer but he was mostly on babysitting duty, making sure they don't go too far.

Dorcas was curled on an armchair adjacent to the couch, re-doing her essay as one does. Normally she'd join them but she considers this area of magic 'beneath her'.

After what has been hours of Regulus upstairs with his brother (5 minutes), James perks up on the couch when he sees the pair of brothers come down the stairs.

They were talking to each other, well, bickering was more accurate but they seemed relaxed, as normal siblings should be. James' heart melted, he wants to see more of that.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Tiramisu."

Regulus says as if that explained anything.

Pandora perked up.

"Tiramisu? You brought food?"

That brings both Barty and Evan's attention onto them.

Sirius shoots them an apologetic look.

"Sorry, no food here."

The trio visibly deflates.

James clears his throat, bringing attention back to the original topic.

"What about Tiramisu?"

Sirius smirks while Regulus grumbles, crossing his arms.

"Not Tiramisu exactly, but he was banned from using forks with Tiramisu, you know?"

Intrigued, Dorcas puts down her scroll, sensing she was going to hear something Regulus wouldn't want anyone knowing. Always trying to find something incriminating.

"No, I did not know that, he was banned?"

"Well, not anymore but when he was like, so much shorter than this--" That gets him a kick on the leg but he marches on. "--we'd have Tiramisu for dessert every meal, his favorite."

James and the others can't help but coo, imagining a Regulus that barely reaches the table, looking forward to what was probably his favorite part of the meal.

"...I--Merlin, you guys are terrible."

Sirius sighs once the coos settle down, then continues.

"It was just a regular family dinner? Or there was some event? Celebration? Anyways, the whole family was there."

Regulus goes to sit next to James, close enough for their thighs to touch and James immediately feels like he could explode, like a supernova.

"And obviously that means we're going to have annoying aunts and uncles bothering us. So that night, I think Aunt Druella was the one fussing over Regulus? I can't remember what she was saying though but it got Reggie all red and fuming."

Hearing the name of their aunt, the rosier siblings were fully attentive to Sirius, dropping their experiments. When it became clear his partners were no longer into it, Barty had no choice but to be attentive too.

Regulus crossed his arms, appearing displeased as he recalled the memory.

"She kept insinuating I was a girl. My long eyelashes, my big eyes, my little body, my pretty face."

Sirius cackles.

"Oh that's right, Reggie hated being compared to a girl back then."

"... still does."

Barty mumbles as he recalled a painful memory in fourth year. He learned his lesson then.

"So of course, he retaliated. He stabs her in the thigh. With a fork."

Barty wheezes. Sirius joins in too, laughing. Regulus smirks, smiling fondly at the memory.

"Oh everyone's reactions--it was gold! It was the first time dinner became so silent besides well, her screaming!"

The other four were stunned into silence until Evan broke it, followed by Pandora.

"Hold on--you stabbed Aunt Druella?! As a kid??"

"How have we never heard about this??"

Sirius waved them off.

"They made her keep quiet about it, said it was her fault for bothering Reggie when he was oh so troubled for Hogwarts next year."

Barty wasn't surprised at this level of casual violence in their family, Pandora and Evan weren't surprised they made her keep quiet or that the Black brothers were recounting the memory like it was your usual nostalgia.

Dorcas and James however, could only stare in silence. A bit of fear from James.

"So that's why his fork privileges were taken away, but only for Tiramisu."

Sirius then joins Regulus and James on the couch, sitting next to his brother once he was done artistically recounting the tale of Regulus and Forks with Tiramisu.

He raises an arm to wrap around Regulus while their friends watch in horror as the brothers make physical contact.

"Although now that I think about it, he could still use forks to eat anything else and he always had knives."

Regulus allows himself to be pulled into his brother's embrace, neither noticing how the room has fallen into an awed silence.

"They wanted to fuck with her. Announcing they were going to take away my forks for Tiramisu every time? But still giving me forks and knives anyways?"

Regulus snorts and Sirius grins, squeezing his brother into his arm.

"Yeah, that's where you get your mean streak from."

"Accusations."

Regulus blinks innocently.

By then, the brothers realized their friends and even some other Slytherins were looking at them calculatingly.

"Uh, what's up guys?"

Dorcas lifts her gaze from the arm around Regulus's shoulders, to Sirius, then turns to her friends with confirmation if they were on the same page, then back to him.

"Uh."

Very eloquent, Dorcas Meadowes.

The others and her were staring at the arm with poorly hidden envy. They never got to touch Regulus so casually besides a very rare forced hug on birthdays and they were literally his best friends!! Of years!!

James glares at the arm, seething in jealousy. He wasn't faring much better either. James has to wait or ask for permission if he wanted to touch Regulus and he thought that meant he was quite close to him!! He's the boyfriend!!

They all did, because any attempts at touching him would come with a very-mellowed out violent response. But if it were any one else, Regulus would not hold back.

But here was Sirius Black! The man Regulus hated with all his heart only a couple weeks ago! Cuddled up against their Regulus! And him looking right at home there!

And yeah, they get it, Sirius was probably Regulus's entire world growing up in a house full of assholes, so of course Sirius would have exceptions.

But what the fuck!

Barty and James groaned, Evan huffed, Pandora pouted, Dorcas just shot them a look.

Oblivious Sirius just stares at them and chooses his peace.

"Alright, I'll go bother Peter then."

Once Sirius leaves, the eyes turn to Regulus. He blinks innocently.

"You."

James says with as much accusation he could put on his voice.

"Me?"

Regulus says as he slips a hand in James'. Suddenly, James can't remember what he was mad about.

"Nothing, you look lovely."

It was now James' turn to be stared at.

Regulus black and Physical Intimacy

*Pandora struggles to catch up with regulus so she reaches a hand out to grab his shoulder*

*Regulus smoothly dodges her hand like a cat and turns around*: sorry, I was distracted, did you say something?

*Pandora stares at her outstretched hand, slightly offended*

*Dorcas offering a drink*: Try it, it's actually surprisingly good.

*Regulus stares at her hand that's fully wrapped around the cup*

*Grabs the bottom of the cup with a down-side up hand-claw, then corrects his grip when it's fully out of her grasp*

Regulus, completely serious: well, it smells good, can't be truly awful.

*she stares at him with partly hidden judgement*

Regulus: Crouch, do you remember what professor Binns meant by this phrase?

*Barty uses this chance to get physically closer, attempting to wrap a hand around regulus's shoulder*

*A stinging hex is thrown his way and narrowly misses*

Barty, sighing: well, worth a shot

*Evan and Regulus reading together*

*Evan raises a hand to poke at Regulus's cheek*

Regulus, without missing a beat nor lifting his eyes from the book: no

*Evan slowly retracts his hand*

James: regulus...

*Regulus hums in answer*

James: can I touch you?

Regulus: you know the rules, in public only I initiate.

James, whining: but you never touch me

*Regulus rolls his eyes and stretches out a hand*

*James stares at it, confused*

Regulus, obviously teasing him: Oh, so head scratches aren't enough I take it?

*James, because he's not an idiot to haggle, immediately settles under the offered hand*

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raayllum · 17 hours ago

Text

What Is Up With Terry :: the Thread of Necessity

Intro

Terry is an interesting character in a lot of ways. He's unflappably kind and optimistic, accepting even to a fault, and he's an elf with no issue with dark magic yet doesn't seek out its use for himself. He's a non-traditional antagonist for starters, he's trans without being overly sanitized, and he most notably provides a sounding board for more overtly 'evil' characters like Viren in season four and Claudia in seasons five and six. Most of this is in service of Claudia's goals, with Terry not having many of his own goals outside of his support of Claudia and Viren; this is, mind you, not too dissimilar from Soren with Ezran in arc 2 as well, or even Amaya with Janai.

I also think he's a very important in a character in a lot of ways, for the ease with which he explores and exemplifies

You can love / support Viren and Claudia and that doesn't make you a 'bad person' in the show

You can be okay with dark magic without changing your mind and that doesn't make you a bad person either

You can kill someone in TDP and that doesn't automatically make you a bad person either

We know all of this is true (and will likely continue to be true) as we know in S7 there is an episode about Terry related to him still having a "true and pure heart," which is about as classical "good guy protagonist" speak as you can get. In those lenses, I think Terry was a fantastic choice in introducing a new character to not only contrast against Claudia and Viren, but also in terms of getting us to be more sympathetic towards them (particularly Viren) than we might've been inclined towards in arc 1.

That said, I think the most important thread that Terry carries is that he is a character who truly and wholly does whatever is necessary for his cause, nothing more, nothing less.

But what does that mean, tangibly, within TDP's narrative? Well, let's talk about it:

Necessity

The concept of necessity—I needed to do this, or I have to do this (even though I don't want to)—is one that has been central to TDP for a while. We see this characters who cite a lack of agency ("He was going to take Claudia's life, I had no choice" / "Every step I took, I took because I had to" / "I'm sorry. I have to do this") throughout the show, both dark mages and not, particularly Rayla, Soren, and Callum.

And in return for perceived necessity, as Harrow states, "I have done terrible things. I thought they were necessary. Now I don't know." We increasingly see people justify, or struggle to justify, worse and worse actions. Claudia's mindset has become very transactional, for example ("He saved you, and now we have to save Aaravos" / "It's a mistake! I saved you! You owe me your life!"). Generally speaking, the show treats these things labelled as necessary as unnecessary (hence the regret they experience, and even Terry disagreeing more adamantly than he ever has before).

This is, of course, because 4x09 and 6x09 together very clearly spells out what is important for Terry to believe something is necessary: it must be done entirely out of love, no more and no less.

I've seen you do a lot of awful things, dark magic things, but I always believed in you because you had a reason [saving your dad]. But what you just did, the way you tricked that Moonshadow elf? It was just cruel.

Maybe it started out as a story of love, but along the way it got twisted. [...] He isn't doing anything for love. He's doing it out of revenge.

To Terry, you do what you have to do but go no further; you don't give into anger, you don't give into revenge. You act entirely out of love, and keep acting out of love and let it temper you. This is why Terry resonates, I think, and seeks guidance from Viren after the mage's initial assessment of what's been happening, emotionally:

This is similar in practice to why Viren (and Claudia to a lesser extent) are characters with such fraught paths. Not only because of their dark magic use, but because of their denial. Viren violates Lissa's safety and trust to save Soren, but then blames Soren for it; Claudia heals Soren and brings back Viren, and doesn't understand why fixing things physically wasn't enough. "I had no choice" for them means "I have no accountability," and that's why they kept spiralling deeper till Viren broke out of it. He atones then not by swearing off dark magic (although it helps) but by taking full agency in the choice to do dark magic and in what manner (not sacrificing his family again) and without a desire for ego, which was his biggest character flaw in a lot of ways.

The reason I bring this up is to provide a contrast for Terry in a few ways, such as

Terry always being very emotionally open, rather than repressing or offloading blame onto other people

Mandates that he had no choice (4x03, 4x04) but to kill Ibis verbally, but is also aware that it very much was

Is able to accept that this was a choice and move on

Terry does what he believes is necessary. He feels things about it. He doesn't go further into outright self destruction, and he doesn't escalate to what harm is deemed unnecessary. That doesn't mean Terry's levelheadedness can't be a flaw (he absolutely should have told Claudia to give up magic in 6x04) or that what he believes is necessary always is / that his choices are perfect (they're not), but that in his contrast to Claudia and Viren, he continually provides that contrast. He can be held at sword point by Rayla, a total aggressive stranger, and still recognize that withholding her family from her is what he deems as unnecessary cruelty (but more on that later).

For now I want to talk about patterns, specifically two that he engages in with Claudia.

Patterns

The first pattern is unsurprising, perhaps, given that Claudia-Rayla have continually had parallels, given that:

1) Claudia keeps leaving him

This is, of course, most obvious in 6x01 when Claudia states her intention to do so, or even in 6x09 wherein Aaravos literally lifts her away from Terry:

But we also see it earlier on with even the choices Claudia makes in her mission. Terry is a passive person, much like how Claudia at her core is ("Tell me what to do" + 90% of interactions with Viren that aren't about saving him), and therefore Claudia leads the way, and Terry is happy to let her.

He never really considers that he might be a core part of her truth, and that she wants more active advice (see the way Rayla counsels Callum about his dark magic use, comparatively, in 6x03, or nudges him forwards elsewhere throughout the seasons). While Terry isn't wrong to encourage Claudia to think staunchly for herself, and in fact she very much should, it does leave her more vulnerable to the next first person willing to tell her what to do: Aaravos.

We also see Terry's passivity go even further back to one of his first episodes, as well as in the S5 finale.

Each entry in the pattern is a little different.

4x03: Claudia leaves / goes in alone and fails at her mission. Terry follows and saves her by killing Ibis at great cost to his personal emotional state.

5x09: Claudia leaves / goes in alone and fails at her mission. She goes further into Aaravos' clutches (the ocean here metaphorically) and returns of her own accord.

6x01: Claudia succeeds at bringing back her father but cannot make him stay. She leaves on her own in an attempt to break her family's cycle of abandonment without realizing how she's continually perpetuating it, but returns in a devastated and dejected state.

6x09: Claudia succeeds at her mission of freeing Aaravos, and the Startouch elf takes her literally into his clutches and away from Terry.

Each time it is her choice to leave, with only 4x03 firmly having Terry following without her returning by her own merit. Whereas Claudia plays out her family's cycle of abandonment with all its members—her mother, her brother, and finally her father—Terry plays it out with just Claudia, over and over again. This doesn't mean their relationship is bad or that some of these times are unreasonable—Terry is willing and supportive to let her go in 4x03 and 5x09 much the way Callum is supportive of Rayla in 4x09, 6x05, and 6x09—but it is a pattern that has then taken on a negative slant in S6 and will likely to continue to worsen in S7 before it gets better either in the season or beyond.

Then, we have the pattern of how

2) Claudia gradually stops listening to him.

This is probably more interwoven with the thread of necessity than the previous pattern, since as stated before, sometimes when Terry is letting Claudia go off on her own while it's imperfect in the narrative, it makes sense within their dynamic / resources. Like as previously mentioned, too, Terry is more often correct than he is wrong about the next moves people should make. He's right that Claudia will need help in 4x03, he's right that they should go look for her in 4x07, he's right that she needs rest in 5x02, and right to be wary and against Aaravos in 6x09.

In the beginning, Claudia listens to him.

But as the seasons go on, this gradually changes with twice back to back in 5x06.

T: It won't chase us anymore, you won. It's trapped. Please. C: You're right. It won't follow us. But not because it's trapped.

Season six is arguably the season where Claudia listens to him the least despite Terry reaffirming her agency most directly (6x04) as she ignores or doesn't listen to every reservation he has.

T: It's him. It's your Dad. C: Then I have to... T: No! Please! Please don't... I don't think you should see him like this. C: I have to! I came all this way to see him one last time. I need him to show me the right path. T: This won't give you answers. Only anger. Only pain. I'm so sorry. He's gone. He is gone.

And Terry, who does things only that are necessary, only out of love, would know the difference: unlike Rayla, or Claudia, or numerous other characters arguably in the show, he always has, particularly when given broader context the way he is in 6x09 (which hasn't always been true in his relationship with Claudia, either).

None of this is to say that Claudia is a Bad Partner or that your partner should always listen to you, either, because neither of those things are true in life or in TDP. Healthy couples in TDP disagree all the time in both healthy and unhealthy ways. Rayla left Callum when he explicitly made her promise not to, and Callum did dark magic to save her twice despite 100% knowing it's not what she wold've wanted.

But the first thing I want to address is the difference between Claudia leaving out of grief and trying to feel in control after losing everyone but her boyfriend, and Rayla leaving out of grief and trying to feel in control after losing everyone but her boyfriend because they are wildly different for one main reason.

Rayla left in the middle of the night while Callum was sleeping because "you’ll wake up and try to stop me… from doing what I know I have to do. Leaving. But I can’t let you stop me, Callum. No matter how much I want to. [...] And if you said even one word to me, I wouldn’t be—couldn’t be. If I stay even until your eyes open and you yawn your silly morning yawn, I’ll break" (TDP reflections, Dear Callum).

Terry, meanwhile, is actively begging and pleading with Claudia, and he is still abandoned. Granted, Claudia seemingly comes back within a day or two, not two years, so that does mitigate things, but the fact remains that Rayla thought she wouldn't be able to leave to protect Callum if she even heard him speak a word or yawn, and Claudia was able to leave to protect herself while having a full on conversation. Ouch.

Nor does this completely absolve Terry of the one time Claudia straight up asks him to tell her what to do, or what he thinks she should do, Terry doesn't (6x04). He's not wrong that she needs to choose the way and figure out what she needs, but him emphasizing that he can't tell her what to do and then immediately accepting her premises that Viren can and should tell her what to do is something that's already bitten both of them in the ass.

Terry also only asks Claudia to listen to him, really listen, and to tell her what she should do when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.

This is also one of the reasons why she and Terry are suited to each other. Both value and respond to necessity, scaffolding everything else on top of what needs to be done or doesn't need to be done. What's risky about this mutual understanding is the potential for it to stop being so mutual if they start to have different views on what's necessary. And as we see in 6x09, that's happening more and more. What is going to continue happen when Claudia keeps viewing Aaravos' actions as necessary, and Terry doesn't?

Questioning

So Terry is, presumably, going to increasingly be wary and against Aaravos. What is that going to look like?

We have a decent idea, honestly. As stated / noted before, Terry actually pushes back against Claudia fairly often. He's just rather gentle about it, and usually is trying to prioritize her wellbeing (or someone else's) when she isn't. Examples include:

4x09 over the coins / being cruel

5x01 ("You'd think if dark magic does this to a person they might not do it")

5x02 over resting

5x06 over attacking the dragon

5x06 over killing the dragon

6x01 over her leaving

6x04 with telling her what to do

6x08 over seeing Viren's corpse

6x09 in helping / freeing Aaravos

However, we're also yet to see him be angry in his questioning or when pushing back, which is what I think would be most interesting to see change (think the moment where Iroh finally yells at Zuko beneath Lake Laogai). His pushback with Claudia has gotten more and more consistent as well as more dire throughout the seasons, and just like how Viren and Claudia eventually disagreed and split up, I think Terry and Claudia will too. How permanent that split will be, I think, is up to her (I could see parallels happening between Soren and Terry teaming up to try and bring her home, with Ezran and Rayla doing the same for a brother-partner tag team Callum duo), but I do think that Terry's testament of "I love you, I will never leave you" is apt foreshadowing to see what it would take for him to break his promise, and do just that.

To what he knows needs to be done, even if that means walking away.

Misc. Season Thoughts

Terry also has some interesting things that don't fall under the necessity umbrella that I wanted to talk about as well. One of those things is

TERRY AND IDENTITY

This isn't to say I think Terry actively has an identity arc in seasons 4 through 6 the way other characters (Callum, Rayla, Viren) are, but that Terry like most of the main cast is linked to arc 2's continual increased emphasis on identity and choosing your own identity. This is true particularly in 4x01, which opens after the intro with Callum running through / clarifying his titles (or identity roles) and concludes with Viren and Terry being introduced to one another. Terry gives details on his name ("[Terrestrius] is a bit traditional, but my friends call me Terry") and then asks for clarification on what he can call Viren.

Later on in S5 and S6, we see Soren and Rayla respectively see through the 'monstrous' / threat of others by reaffirming their similarities ("I know what this is like. I know how you feel" / "This storm isn't your rage, it's your grief. I know how you feel") and bestowing agency through naming conventions. Rayla identifies the monster isn't a monster but a pet, and more than that, gives Esmeray back her name. Elmer does the same when he overthrows Finnegrin and Soren likewise affirms it: "We literally didn't [defeat him]. Elmer did."

Why is this relevant? Well, in an arc that's all about emphasizing over and over again to see other people's personhood by using their name(s), recognizing that you have a choice, and choosing who you want to be...

So often queer characters in media are regulated to their queerness being happenstance (i.e. they fulfil a certain story role regardless and just happen to also be queer) or it's all their character gets to be (a "figuring out queerness and/or a coming out" arc). One of the reasons I myself (as a queer and trans person) has always deeply appreciated Terry as a queer character, specifically as a trans character, is precisely the way that his transness is interwoven with TDP's broader themes of chosen identity, self-actualization, and knowing / name motifs. In having these themes and ideas for multiple cis characters, Terry's interplay gets to be enhanced by his trans identity and simultaneously let him enhance the thematic explorations the series has going on, and I think that's pretty cool. Identity is one of the main themes of s4, and for Terry as well, so it's nice to see the ways that's reflected.

I expect season 7 to challenge his identity further ("I'm going to be strong enough to do whatever I need to do and still have feelings") if forcing him to confront who he wants to be, who Claudia is becoming, and who he thinks they can still be together. In a lot of ways I'm expecting S7 to be a sister season to S4 thematically even as S7 builds on S5/S6 in terms of plot and character arcs, since S7 seems geared to be about identity directly even more than S4 was (and much more than S5 or S6 were).

TERRY AND COMMUNICATION

If season four is about identity, season five has a strong emphasis on communication. This is, again, likewise true for Terry, as he encourages Claudia to communicate in various ways across the course of the season.

The situation is urgent, and you're worried I'm not treating it that way.

Terry consistently having clear communication is also something that puts him in direct contrast to Aaravos, who is a master manipulator and very careful liar-not-liar in his own way. Terry is always open and while thoughtful does not really bottle things up; he communicates clearly with other people and is comfortable doing so, and is very good at validating others as well. Whenever he does push against Claudia, he always clearly explains why he's doing so or why he disagrees but leaves the choice of what to do next in making amends or carrying on up to her. Aaravos, meanwhile, continually withholds or omits information, and presents things in certain ways in order to get, well, his way.

I don't have as much to say for season six, given that Terry is only in about half the season (6x01, 6x03, 6x04, 6x08, 6x09) and one of those is entirely silent. I'd say his main idea in s6, like s4 with identity and s5 with communication, would be the theme of Questioning (scaffolded under 'supportive'). He's supportive of Viren and Claudia's searches for meaning alongside his own increase questioning of what they and Aaravos are doing and why. I'll be curious to see what his main character beat may be in s7 going forward.

Conclusion

There's more I could talk about with Terry (Viren dreaming in 5x03 of chasing after Claudia only for her not to listen, only for Terry to live out that worst fear in 6x01 directly, for example) but I think for now these are the main things I wanted to discuss without going further into speculation than I already have. I hope this maybe brought a new perspective or appreciation for Terry as a character and for his arc in the show so far! As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy.

#tdp #tdp terry #tdp meta #the dragon prince #terry #analysis series #analysis #parallels #clauderry #arc 2 #multi

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talonabraxas · 3 days ago

Text

How to Transmute Human Consciousness into Buddhas Wisdom

1. The Ten Mysterious Gates

There are ten gates of wonderful manifestations as taught by the Hwa Yen School. I have omitted four of them which duplicate other ones. One may meditate on the six gates of mystic manifestations as follows:

(a) The mysterious gate of perfect yoga of the co-relation and co-existence of all things both in space and in time. As the nature of all Dharmas are Sunyata, every condition of every Dharma relates freely, moves freely, is united freely and plays freely. It is just like a great plain which does not belong to any ego-centered individual, and every person may play there. Hence the mystic circus brings their lions, elephants, horses, monkeys, bears and dogs with their girl and boy members to play there freely. So in the great Dharmadhatu which is of the great Sunyata, all Dharmas may play together and the space of four or ten directions and the time of the three periods may be united or separated, interlocked or interwoven at the meditators will since his mind has been sublimated by the Sunyata.

(b) The mysterious gate of sovereign power in connection with all the Dharmas. As oneself is Sunyata so are those other than self; as a being lacks self so does a thing lack self. Whenever the self is void where the power of the mysterious gate or rooms are opened, one is in all and all may be in one, too; one behind all, all may be behind one, too; small in great, great may be in small; low in high, high may be in low also. Thus all elements of beings and things are mutually identified. A universal identification forms an unlimited and ultimate freedom. Those American hippies who ask for more freedom by laziness onlybeard may be unshaven, clothes may be unwashed, girls may be sexually enjoyed without being married, drugs to enhance sex may be taken often, school lessons may be left but picnics should be frequently takensuch freedom is only a kind of suicide. One who really wants the great freedom should lay more stress on this meditation.

(c) The mysterious gate of performance of manifestations of either appearance or disappearance. When something appears, it appears in the Sunyata; when it disappears, it disappears into the same Sunyata. When the atom was only a potential, scientists treated it as superstition but Buddhists knew it could be broken up, 3000 years before the scientists. When the atom was made up into the atomic bomb it was not a new thing to the Buddhists. The atom and atomic bomb are one thing, but the former holds the potentiality of its disappearance, while the latter its appearance. Both form the complement of the whole entity of truth.

(d) The mysterious gate of sovereign power in different and opposite formswide or narrow (2nd gate), one or many (3rd gate), subtle or gross (6th gate). These pairs may interpenetrate one another commutably, freely, and uninterruptedly. Is not the finger narrower than a mountain but sometimes when held in front of ones eye it may hide a mountain in the distance. Is not the atomic bomb powerful and can destroy gross or great matter but it is invisible, as subtle as a spirit, when it is not split. Buddhists found out this truth approximately 3000 years earlier than the scientists. Are not the lungs 600 square feet larger than the body when they are extended; but they occupy only one small part of the body! Are not there 200 billion nerve cells in only one small brain? These examples are common things. If by the power of Sunyata, the mysterious and supernatural maya becomes much more inconceivable, yet it may actually be realized through this meditation.

(e) The mysterious gate of the various performances of separated Dharmas in the ten periods. Each of the past, present, and future also contains three periods. To the whole one, if these nine are added, it will make up the ten periods. By the speed of gnostic light, Buddha sees the things of the future and remembers things of the past. Time seems to go in reverse which is known by the theory of Einstein in these days, only Buddha knew it 3000 years earlier. Such a vertical connection completes the interconnection and interlocking of the separate beings along the nine periods. The precious five gates are mutually penetrated in the horizontal plane. When their vertical connection of time is added, it becomes four dimensions, which was known to Buddhists almost 30 centuries earlier than Einstein. Two dimensions may be symbolized by a plane. Three dimensions by a cube. Four should be symbolized by a ball fully encircling a cross. But there is the fifth dimension when it is added causes a mysterious penetration, and this may be symbolized by this signcrossed vajra non-limitation of time and of space. Things only occur with length and width in mathematics, materials adding height are solid geometrical materials. Adding time again are durable materials, yet they are physical. With the addition of the Sunyata mystic emergence it then becomes metaphysical. Hence philosophically length, width, height, duration and Sunyata emanation form a fifth dimension, as I newly make this term.

(f) The mysterious gate of completion of virtues of the master and family working together harmoniously and brightly. If any one of the Dharmas or persons is taken as the chief one, all other Dharmas or persons might work agreeable as his retinue. For instance when the practitioner is practicing Ahimsa, all his neighbors follow his good example and out of great compassion send birds to their natural state from their cages, fishes to the ocean from their tanks, doves to the sky from their prisons. Remote neighbors follow their close neighbors, the village follows the remote neighbor, the town follows the village, the city and the whole nation and whole globe will follow one by one and the third world war will not happen. No matter how the facts really appear, one should meditate like this as if it is so fortunately becoming true. By the addition of the time dimension, the three periods may unite as one whole, so here and there, all persons of the whole world will eventually become kind, merciful and peaceful once and for all.

As Sunyata has no ego, it enables oneself to be united with all others. When one practitioner, Mr. A., takes one person as the master, all other persons of the ten Dharmadhatus, may be his family. At the same time, another practitioner, Mr. B., C., D. or so on may take someone in the family of Mr. A as his master and all other persons other than that master may be his family. Thus, master yet family, family yet master, they all have the philosophic emanation. Wonderful and inconceivable incarnations would happen without limitation. Again one master has his inner family and outer family, small family and big family, appeared family and disappeared family, small family in the big family, big family in the small family. Their transformations are at the will of the master without any confinement.

Alas! Very few persons know that Sunyata is not negativism. A philosophic, mysterious positive potentiality is within it. Still very, very few practitioners or scholars know the discriminations between the ten goodnesses and six paramitas which I am going to deal with below.

2. To Distinguish the Six Paramitas from Ten Good Conducts and Diligently Practice the Former Ones

(a) The liberatable way of charity. To give alms to the poor even frequently in an amount more than the whole world can contain is goodness which may get one a good rebirth in heaven, but to be liberated from heaven or earth one should give alms with the Sunyata which has no giver, non-giving, and non-objects of giving. In doing this liberatable charity, one is able to approach the liberation of Buddhahood. Buddha taught it in the Dragon Palace with the following stanza:

"Give all things till the ego remains, Give the ego till others remain, Give the others till Dharmas remain, Give Dharmas till Buddha to attain."

(b) The liberatable way of holding the precepts. All silas, vinayas or commandments should be kept with wisdom, as Buddha taught on some occasion:

Holding the Silas not depend upon Body, speech and mind, or depend upon Three periods, two sides, or depend upon Delusions, or awareness but by none Dependence is precepts holding the precepts on.

(c) The liberatable way of patience. To be patient on the occasion of misery or to the harmful person or at difficult work does good which is not sufficient to be liberated by the paramita. He who practices this should follow the main meaning of the stanza taught by Buddha on the same occasion:

Patience never knows there is I or you Neither keep the idea of mine and yours All men, things and views should be purified When all Dharmas become pure its patience.

(d) The liberatable way of diligence. To exert ones energies to do good and to leave no stone unturned to forbid evil, these are profane merits by which alone one does not reach the thither shore of Nirvana, but following the teaching below one does:

As men are in their nature so am I As Dharmas are in nature so is my Lord, knowing there is no thing to gain It is the real diligence so high

(e) The liberatable way of concentration. Sitting straight, thinking of nothing, neither sleepy nor disturbed in ones mind, this is a common attitude of a religious person. One does not abide in the truth unless one can follow the stanza taught by Buddha Gautama correctly:

Mind is not inside Nor outside nor bide Holds nothing but a void Dhyana can not hide

(f) The liberatable way of wisdom. Even one who is wise as a serpent or as Solomon and can see as far through a brick wall as anybody but sees no Sunyata, gets no realization thereof. One would not be liberated at all. Hence the ultimate Prajnaparamita should be practiced under the guidance of the following stanza:

All Dharmas are so plain Has neither goal nor vain There is view without sight But not view it as light No request no volition Pity on fools is real wit.

3. To Distinguish the Sunyata Identification with Bodhicitta from that Dry Sunyata without Bodhicitta

The wise one does know that the Sunyata does not stand alone. The ancients called those persons who had little recognition of Sunyata and mistook it as a thing of voidness separate from everything else as men of dry wisdom. Hence one should develop five kinds of Bodhicitta.

a. Bodhicitta of Will

When one is still in the Course of Hinayana, one finds out that he is in transmigration and suffers many kinds of pain and one then has pity on those who are suffering with the same pains. A strong sympathy arises in his mind. He might think that if I were a Buddha I might save them. So he keeps such a good will to become a Buddha for the sake of saving mankind and every sentient being trapped within the same transmigration. Every day he should frequently think like this. He might write down his special good wills in some ten provisions or more. Every day he should repeat them and practice every good Dharma for their accomplishment and ask his Protector to help him until this aim is reached.

b. Bodhicitta of Conducts

When the above mentioned wills are developed, one must perform with the six paramitas many myriad conducts of goodness to carry on all the good wills and actually benefit all sentient beings. Thus all the eight right paths of Hinayana and the six paramitas of Mahayana and all the Vajrayana precepts thereof under this guide or basis will be fulfilled.

c. Bodhicitta of Victorious Signification

To get rid of the volition of Bodhicitta, to flee from the demon of compassion, one has to develop the victorious signification which is thoroughly fixed with the Sunyata of nature. One of my stanzas on Bodhicitta may be introduced below:

The best significant Bodhicitta Is without any kind of work or data There is no real mind to arise it Nor is there volition to hold it.

There is neither pleasure nor pain, neither sufferer nor enjoyer, neither agreement nor sympathy, neither I nor he. One may know this well but one has to have some Bodhicitta to pity them who do not know that the Bodhicitta and the person who has been pitied are both of Sunyata. One is still in the Sunyata.

d. Bodhicitta of Samadhi

When one has passed the study of exoteric doctrines and starts to learn Vajrayana, ones Bodhicitta is no longer confined to mentalization but always keeps ones mind identified with the materiality. Thus Bodhicitta is symbolized by the moon. One must visualize ones Bodhicitta as a bright moon which is situated in ones heart and on a lotus in the middle of the heart. From the moon many rays of great compassion are emitted to sentient beings through all of transmigration.

e. Bodhicitta of Kunda

When one has studied Tantra and gets progress in the Anuttarayoga, one is enabled to practice the vajra love. One then has to develop this kind of Bodhicitta of Kunda which is the gnostic semen containing both the Sunyata of nature and the great compassion and great pleasure. Through the good karmas held in the lotus of the Dakini, the ultimate salvation may be fulfilled. This is the final and highest, deepest Bodhicitta.

The first three Bodhicittas are known to every scholar of exoteric doctrines but the next two are only known to the students of the Tantra and they are never systematically emphasized as I do.

Under the first two kinds of Bodhicitta, adding thoughts of impermanence and the pains of transmigration, one may practice again great compassion toward sentient beings and things or Dharmas. Adding the Sunyata meditations, through the third Bodhicitta of Victorious Signification, one practices the great compassion of the same entity with all sentient beings and things and that of non-condition. That is, without any particular connection with others, one should have great compassion towards every being and every thing.

Thus the human mind which was acting in a self-centered psychical sphere now is sublimated by the Bodhicitta and great compassion and becomes the mind of a Bodhisattva who is the prince of Buddhas and acting in the accumulation of Holy Karmas.

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