#i just want to see some good funny stuff not the weird cringe targeted at 7 year olds who only think about skibidi toilet

[icouldbeaduck]

has anyone else’s tiktok not been tiktoking like it should lately. everytime i open tiktok i feel like i’m on youtube shorts like im getting weird ‘kids’ content and clickbaity shit instead stuff from people i follow or stuff i’ve expressed an interest in

[nellynee]

Trollstopia Blindblogging: episode 8a: Rhythm & the Blues

(a quick note, I am only tagging the focal most Trolls in my opinion for my own reasons. But, if you feel other characters need tagging please let me know it would not be hard to do. I don’t bite) 

Not the most elegant episode. But I do give it my respect. It does something the Trolls franchise doesn’t typically do. It tries. Trolls has a very bad habit of writing emotional checks it has no interest in being able to cash. It cobbles together all these really interesting ideas, tells you to look at them, then puts it back down and never touches it again. It implies a lot of really deep, dark, emotional stuff then refuses to let it exist. Mostly because a lot of stuff it talks about doesn’t really have answers beyond philosophy or would get a pretty steep rating tank. They just can’t afford to talk about it. It’s really frustrating to read the artbook and watch cut content and see some really comprehensive story telling and character development get shredded on the cutting room floor. There’s real love in the production and I want to have very stern words with whoever keep stabbing ideas in a back alley to make it more “child friendly” 

But, I digress. This episode chose to talk about something negative. It chose to do so very, very unsubtly to the point near cringe. But it chose to do it, fallowed through, and did so in a way that wasn’t patronizing to it’s target audience. So while it wasn’t my favorite, I do respect this episode. 

While not necessarily what I would call superb quality, the cute song (R&B finally sing for those interested), some good jokes, and decently delivered message makes it like... a solid 3.8 in my books. 3 and a half and a half for respects sake. R&B episode if you are into that. Otherwise, I’d say put on the “watch it if you have time” end of the must watch list. 

Funk me UP baby!

That butchered Cinderella Rhyme fucked me up so badly I had to go look up the original to make my brain ok again. But this is the kind of thing that gets me thinking about stuff. Cause like, now I’m going to be thinking for hours about the Pop or Country Trolls having a Cinderella mythos in the Troll’s meta….I’ve already inserted little mermaid so why the hell not?

There’s something very charming about the phrase “I got four legs, gimmie four dutches!” 

Country Trolls are just wooo girls confirmed

“I’d swear it one my Daddy’s grave-” gasp “-y” is actually really funny why are the writers so freaking funny?

It’s a little weird, but we seem to have transitioned in full from laser to bubble beams confirmed as I had postulated in “the snugalug situation” 

Also noting that either Poppy knows the side of the ship R&B’s lab is on, or R&B have their own ship like I made note of in “Across the Fashionverse” 

Still pretty meh on Funk tech as compared to the movie. Not a fan of the wormhole entrance. Like, the 10 or so seconds of Vibe City we saw in the movie had oodles of personality comparatively and I’m really missing it. I’m a little sad that that’s R&B’s whole schtick cause I love their designs and attitude but I don’t love them nearly as much as I could? 

Totally expected them to stick together with that little spin would have been hilarious

T-R-O-Double hockey sticks

That oath was minced to a paste

Lay-trolls terms (jesus christ I shouldn’t be surprised when it happens but I always am)

See what I mean? “Make a real big marshmallooooow” Was absolutly adorable. Every time they speak I am charmed. And then magic science with no rules happens and I’m bored again. I want to love them soooo badly

On that note why don’t Trolls singspeak more?

Cool. I suspected they were sisters based on the little bits I saw, I mean the main tag is “r&b sisters”, but confirmation is cool

on that note I left for a full 24 hours to debate with several groups of people on the viability of the term “Twins” when taking into account my headcanons for them and still haven’t settled on one side or the other.

Why do we even have that button Kronk?

wait was that recorded voice Lownote?

Welp now I understand why Hollys here

For real though I wish there was a bit more of a continuity line between the movies and the shows because this sort of topic seems tailor made for Cooper. He seems to have settled pretty firmly in both universes so far in Pop Village, probably to give him Trolls 3 relevance, but I’ll be not surprised but disappointed if they don’t have him weigh in on this.

in fact, I wonder if that’s who this storyline belongs to afterall. They seem to be ignoring the very obvious solution of.... going for a visit? Or having someone come visit them? Cooper’s potential worries of “Having to figure out where he’ll live in the long term and splitting his time between his old and new family” is a lot more indicative of a long term issue that can’t be solved quickly. Not that regular visits are a permanent or viable solution for everyone but it is absent. But I'm probably overthinking things. This is, afterall, a show for kids, and “Just go and visit” is almost never a viable option after big moves for children. Money on Holly’s solution of “let yourself feel sad about it for a while” being the end game.... oh my god it’s just Inside Out isn’t it?

Jesus Christ I was having fun until “Cloud gazing” and you know what I wasn’t expecting that but I should have been. I don’t know how I feel now

pffft da pinwheel broke

Is R&B really the only two dealing with this?

Pretty healthy showing of Trolls from every tribe and they haven’t encountered this yet in enough numbers that either the specific tribes, or the overall community, or a combination of both, haven’t built some kind of transitional or community outreach program for those feeling uprooted?

like I know it’s a kids show but the governing, political, and cultural implications of these things are the very kinds of things I’m interested in. it’s the stuff I think about

Disco-ball-ogram

did I mention that puns are objectively the peak of hilarity and there’s no way to prove otherwise?

“I can’t find the words” “fantastafleekaboomboom?” “yeah that’s it”

on that note Big Jay, medium Jay, Little Jay wth

I kinda had an inkling when they called Rhythm and Blues “R” and “B”, and my mind connected that with “D” and “Q” from the movies but hadn’t really settles on or thought on it to much but had made a note of “if Funk trolls habitually use initials as address for whatever reasons how do you distinguish between different Trolls when it gets repetitive and I guess the answer is adjectives

It’s trying SO HARD to be sad but it’s also trying to be very transparent about what's happening to the children and I can respect that it does one of those things very well

Holly shush soothing confused Biggie as he attempts the thumb trick again is legit funny AF best joke of the episode

I just wanna take the time to again make appreciating noises at the animation team. I keep catching moments through episodes where it would have been very easy to make very simple reactions or cuts that could cut some more intricate work out and probably would have been cheaper depending on the puppets. Making Blues do a whole rotation when she sits on the button to look at it instead of mimicking a slightly different version of her sister’s reaction is one such instance. 

On that note this is now a Troll’s side profile appreciation blog

There’s being distracted, and then there’s having to wonder if R&B straight up stole this ship because they are not familiar with it at all

I have so many questions about that very confusing bathing Techno Troll I’m gonna just block it out of my memory entirely

Cooper got a chuckle, but Branch got a full ass laugh. That was a legit funny example of him not catching a break. Just.. defeat, then aggravation

uh first off, I knew it, this is just inside out! but second... this is a crisis! 

It’s always hard to tell until they actually start singing but Holy shit R&B! Thems some pipes you got. 

I am having trouble pinning down a genre though. That acoustic guitar is messing me up. I mean this hits most home for me as some really soft rock? Which while sounding good and keeping with tone, is a shame. I feel like a composer could have had a field day with this show if they wanted to, specifically using genre’s and blending to tell bigger subtle stories about emotions being used. But I don’t think that’s what we got here. We just don’t know anything about what kind of stories the genre's tell to make those connections. Having made a statement as a Country Troll about singing sad songs, they could have had something more Country leaning to show where R&B’s feelings were musically. Or had them sing something distinctly in the Blues style but to subtle I guess. It’s possible it’s trying to be Blues, but if it is my ear isn’t good enough to catch it for sure and I’ll admit that. It is a pretty good melody none the less.

Ok that completely mellow delivery of “There is still a massive wormhole that’s about to eat our friends”.... like you can see it coming from a hundred miles away, and it’s still hilarious. 

Biggie no stop rule of 3 does not apply here now it’s just embarrassing

I mean yeah, it’s definitely just the message of Inside Out. Let yourself feel bad. Not everything can be fixed. But that’s not a bad thing. Its a great message for kids and adults. To many people look at negative emotions and think “what can I do to get rid of those right now” instead of facing the situation, handling what you can, and accepting what you can’t. More variations in more places gets that message across more and it’s desperately needed.

[haissitall]

can i talk about technoblade design situation at length because i have this very weird hill to die on? thanks. im going to be blunt so feel free to hate me afterwards

so technoblade himself said something along the lines that he prefers the fanart of his persona as a pig rather than a human version. now i’ve drawn him as a pig from my day one in the fandom, and i have been saying that i prefer this type of design over any other. let me rant about why before i move on to talk about this situation in particular.

so my issue with the majority of people drawing him as this conventionally attractive anime boy when his skin is a full-on anthropomorphic pig is that it reveals lack of imagination and desire to push boundaries and take risks. it goes both for the technical side of it (people crying out “oh no, will i have to learn how to draw a new thing?!” after technoblade’s remark is so funny to me like. yea... sometimes you have to learn how to draw new things..) and uh, conceptual side, which is more important. you see, it is a sign of inability to imagine characters as anything other than conventionally attractive. like, yes, it doesn’t fit the original design of the skin, it doesn’t fit the personality and the vibe and it makes him look a generic boy #1036... but we get to make him pretty and that’s all that matters. i mean, sure, you can say that i am being very mean and drawing is hard and yadda-yadda, and that the pig design just doesn’t fit the style of the artists, but let me prove that this is a deeper issue. consider fanfiction. in fanfiction you can have the character look anything you want! but when was the last time you’ve read a fic where he’s a pig? i’m sure there are a few of them out there, but they are clearly in a minority, just like the fanart. and maybe even more so! i’ve skimmed through fics where the sci-fi or fantasy setting would totally, one hundred percent justify him having a pig head without having to come up with any explanations for that, but it still was the same old... pink hair. thin. a handsome face. maybe weird ears and fangs, but that makes him more of an elf-vampire than a pig. now... why is that? i’m sure with some fics explanations can be found in the plot as to why in this Particular Fic he is human, but with such overabundance of human techno... we all know why. let me repeat. the inability to imagine characters as anything other than conventionally attractive. even when he is supposedly a half-pig monster with his ears and tusks he is still thin. because, you know, pigs are known for being thin, graceful animals.

with all that said i kinda cringe at how the fandom reacts to things like this. how people on twitter are like (half-jokingly, obviously) but still saying that they have to draw him differently now because he mentioned that he prefers another design... guys. if you like your anime boy techno, stick with it, own it. why do you care so much what he prefers? his content is an inspiration for us, sure, but it’s our art. he’s not our boss. just like me, a random person, rambling about how your design sucks won’t stop you from drawing it, so shouldn’t technoblade’s vague preference. i understand that a lot of the reactions are overblown for comedic purposes, but it's in the same vain as this whole culture of the fandom craving validation from creators and religiously catching every word they say about fandom activities.

(now that we are talking about this can i go off on a tangent about how easy the artist community is to take advantage of? he says “hey guys draw me some cool fanart thanks :)” and people draw these amazing pictures which must’ve taken hours of labour so he can feature them on his stream. now did he like... pay anything for them? does he pay anything to the people whose pictures he uses for thumbnails? the person whose picture he now uses as a stand by screen? or is this “paying in exposure” thing? he granted them his validation and attention, so they should be happy with giving him free content (which they’ve spent hours on making) for his videos off which he profits? now, i don’t really know. maybe he does pay them, and i am wrong and a fool. but if he doesn’t... thumbnails are so important for a youtube video to do good and if he gets to grab them for free because he has an army of dedicated and talented fans to exploit... hmmmmm)

so anyway. i understand how it seems like he is the target audience for fanart if you are posting it on twitter and stuff. and there’s nothing wrong with being excited for his interactions and drawing for his thumbnails and all that, i mean, i’ve tried doing it myself, and might try again. i'm saying that the tendency of the fandom to take everything the creator says as if it’s taken from a scripture with which they have to align their creativity seems awkward to me. like i said, he’s not your boss. unless he is commissioning you to draw a thing (which he probably isn’t).

[iamtrebleclefstories]

I’m Happy Right Here with You

Hi guys!! This story was born out of some prompts that were sent my through comments on my story Didn’t Think on AO3 as well as here on tumblr. So, be sure to check out my prompt list if you want some more stories :)

Great big thanks to @doc-pickles for being my beta!!

What is so special about this fic is that it is a birthday gift for Nat!! Happy Birthday Nat! I hope you enjoy this fun and rather long, jolex fic!

89 - “Oh God, please don’t tell me we had sex.” 

33 - “Put me down. You know I can walk, right?”

92 - “Don’t freak out, but I think I’m pregnant.”

Season 10 AU where Jo and Alex do not get together in 9x24, but she moves into the frat house with him and Cristina

“You know what you need? Some picture frames. And throw pillows. Ooh! And some comfy blankets that you put on the couch. Coasters too! We leave beers lying around everywhere and all of the new furniture are starting to get water rings on them.”

“You know, when I asked you to come to Target with me it wasn’t so you could criticize the house,” Alex rolled his eyes.

“I’m not criticizing the house,” Jo looked at Alex pointedly. “I’m just saying that we could really use some things to make the place more homey. It’s not like you don’t have the money for it, the rent check I give you every month is proof of that.”

“The house is homey,” Alex scoffed. 

“No it’s not. It’s like a frat house,” Jo laughed. 

“Exactly,” Alex grinned. “That’s all part of its charm.”

“Oh whatever,” Jo shook her head. “You just don’t want to admit that you’re too damn cheap to do anything about it. That and if the house looks barren and creepy, the women you hook up with are less likely to want to come back.”

“Woah... just hold on a minute there. The women always want to come back,” Alex smirked. “And it’s never because of the house.”

 “You disgust me,” Jo choked on the water she had been drinking. 

“That’s because you’ve never slept with me.”

“Yeah, and I’m never going to.”

“You say that now princess,” Alex teased. “But I promise you that if you did, you’d be coming back for more.”

“Shut up,” Jo slapped his shoulder playfully as they continued to browse around for items. 

Jo would be lying if she said she’d never thought about it. In the past year that she’d known Alex, she’d acquired a new best friend. At first, she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t attracted to him. He was an ass and a douche at times, but funny and sweet if you took the time to pay attention and get to know him. Eventually, the good things about Alex started to outweigh the bad and Jo found herself growing impossibly closer to this man. 

So when Jo started having feelings for Alex, it wasn’t something unexpected. There were so many moments that she had just wanted to grab his face and kiss him, but she had never wanted to mess it up. Alex was the most important person in her life. She never felt like she had anything to lose before she met him. So she kept her mouth shut and continued like nothing was different, even after Jason and the tree and the storm. 

Besides, it’s not like he reciprocated her feelings. Alex was all for hookups and one night stands, and had the emotional maturity of a sixteen year old. Relationships weren’t his thing, and Jo didn’t think she could handle being another notch on his belt, not when her feelings were involved. She didn’t want to make a fool out of herself, especially after seeing the types of girls Alex brought home. He had a type; they were all tall, skinny, blonde, with model-esque features. She on the other hand, was average height, brunette, and a little thicker than his usual parade of women. 

Unbeknownst to Jo, Alex had been thinking about how much he wished he had the balls that night in the NICU to tell her how he felt. Honestly he hated when she brought up his sexual escapades, it reminded him of how much he didn’t deserve her. Jo was special. He was in love with her. He’d even confessed it to Cristina months ago. But he was screwed up. He didn’t want her to end up like every other girl he’d ever been with—all messed up because they got involved with him. So he kept his mouth shut, hoping the feeling would go away. 

That all flew out the window when Jo moved into the house, her bedroom right next to his. Her presence and importance in his life was that much more tangible knowing that all that separated them was a wall. That knowledge led to him escorting a new girl up to his room every other week in hopes of distracting himself from the overwhelming desire to knock on her door.

Alex looked over at her and noticed she seemed to be deep in thought, “Earth to Jo. You okay there? You seem a little weird.”

“Huh,” Jo turned her head in his direction. “Yeah I’m fine. Just thinking about what I want for dinner tonight. I was thinking of ordering from that taco place down the street from the house. Do you want some?”

“I’d love some, but we can’t order tonight. It’s Mer’s 35th birthday and we’re having the party at the house remember? She thinks she’s just coming over to drink tequila with me and Cristina, but Shepherd planned the whole fiasco. He’s over there setting up and I was told to buy some stuff to make the house look a little nicer.”

“Crap that’s tonight?” Jo asked. “I don’t really have to go to that right? I mean—I don’t know how I feel about partying with my bosses.”

“Of course you have to go,” Alex furrowed his brows. “Do you know how weird it’s gonna look if you’re not there? You live there, they can’t kick you out of your own house. You’re going and you’re going to get drunk and sing karaoke and dance on the table in your underwear.”

“No way,” she protested. “I do not plan on getting drunk off my ass at a party with my bosses.”

“Why not?” Alex questioned. “We’re all gonna be drunk off our asses. No one will even remember. Besides, you get drunk off your ass with me all the time. And half the time Cristina is there to witness it.”

“That’s different,” Jo defended. “You are my best friend and I live with you. It’d be weird if you never saw me drunk off my ass. Well that, and I respect my other bosses. And Yang... well... Yang doesn’t scare me as much as Grey does. Plus half the time she’s not even home. More often than not she’s in the woods with the Chief doing it in his trailer.”

Alex snickered, “True. But did you just say you’re more scared of Meredith than Cristina?”

“You know we call her Medusa right?”

“Yeah it’s a good one,” Alex laughed. “You know they used to call me Evil Spawn.”

“Hate to break it to you, but they still do.”

“Shut up. At least I’m getting some on a relatively normal basis,” Alex glared at her playfully. “When was the last time you got laid? You’re super uptight.”

“I am not uptight!” she exclaimed. “And it has not been that long since I got laid. The last time I had sex was... shit.”

“What?”

“I can’t remember the last time I got laid. It’s been that long.”

Alex snorted, “Wow. Well, like I said, if you get really desperate... and I mean really desperate... I’m right next door if you ever need anything.”

“Go to hell,” Jo stuck her tongue out at Alex like a child. He laughed and told her to hurry up and go find what she wanted to buy for the house before he changed his mind. 

The rest of their Target trip was uneventful and they made their way back to the house to finish whatever Shepherd was planning. By the time 8pm rolled around, all the decorations were in place, the guests were in their hiding places, and the liquor was ready for consumption. When Meredith finally walked in, they all yelled surprise and the party got started. 

It was quite the party, too. It reminded Alex of the party that Izzie threw in this very house during their intern year. People underestimated doctors’ abilities to party and consume alcohol. And with Meredith being the guest of honor, there was no shortage of the hard stuff. He had to say, Derek really outdid himself with this party. He planned something that screamed crazy, dysfunctional Meredith Grey and it was quite refreshing. So refreshing, that even Jo decided to loosen up and have a few drinks, since she saw her superiors let loose. 

A few beers and way too many tequila shots in, they were both pretty wasted, as was the majority of the party.  People slowly began to leave and Alex took that as his cue to go upstairs.

Leaving the hosting duties to Cristina, Alex trudged up the stairs with a heavily inebriated Jo trailing behind him, giggling about something. They reached the top of the stairs and were about to go their separate ways when something shifted. It could’ve been the alcohol or just the pent up desire bubbling up under the surface, but one minute he was standing at the top of the steps and the next he was kissing Jo and pushing her into her bedroom.

*****

Jo woke up with a pounding headache. She hadn’t even opened her eyes yet, but she could tell she was going to have one hell of a hangover. She attempted to open her eyes only to close them again due to the stark brightness. She wasn’t exactly sure what time it was, but it was definitely late morning. As Jo laid there, she realized something. She wasn’t alone. There was an arm wrapped around her midsection. 

Alarm bells started going off in her head as she racked her brain for any memory of what happened last night. Just as she was going to open her eyes again to see who she had ended up in bed with, she heard an unmistakable groan. She knew that groan. She knew those arms. 

The hand that had been on her waist brushed her breast before freezing, “What the hell?” 

She took a deep breath and spoke, “Don’t freak out.”

The hand on her breast pulled back instantly, as if it had been burned. The man attached to it sat up quickly, “Oh God, please don’t tell me we had sex.” 

Jo lifted the blankets to look at her naked body that was now littered with love marks. She cringed, “We had sex.”

Jo looked up and finally locked eyes with none other than Alex Karev. He looked wrecked and Jo was sure that she probably did, too. They stared at each other with a mixture of disbelief and horror on their faces. 

“Ah shit,” Alex rubbed a hand over his face. “Jo, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jo shook her head. “It takes two to tango. Plus, I must’ve enjoyed it because you have a hickey on your neck.”

Alex placed his hand on the spot before finally turning to look at her, face turning up in a smirk, “So do you.”

They looked at each other, cheeks flushed before bursting out into laughter. “Ow, be quiet.” “No, you be quiet.”

“I can’t believe we had sex,” Jo remarked in disbelief. “And I don’t even remember most of it.”

“Me neither,” Alex admitted. They slipped into another fit of giggles, the leftover alcohol in their systems seemed to still be affecting them. By the time their mirth died down, the reality of what happened sunk in. It was ironic, just yesterday they had been talking about how they’d never sleep with each other. 

Jo moaned as she stretched to get out of bed. Alex furrowed his brows, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jo replied as she brought the blankets up to cover her chest. “Just a little sore.”

“Oh, God. Don’t tell me I hurt you,” a concerned look crossed Alex’s face. 

Jo chuckled awkwardly, “No you didn’t hurt me. It’s... it’s a good sore.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well... um... I’m gonna—um... I’m gonna go get ready,” Alex stuttered.

“Hmm... yeah me too,” Jo bit her lip and nodded as Alex stood up and searched for his pants. For the first time, she actually took a moment to look at him, watching as she saw as the muscles in his back and arms contracted as he pulled his pants over his legs and ass. 

Almost as if he could sense her stares, Alex turned around, “What?”

“Nothing,” she cleared her throat. “It’s just... um... you have scratch marks on your back.”

He titled his head to look at his back and sure enough, found a few red scratch marks. He began to laugh again, “Oh wow. That’s just... Sorry, I’m just gonna leave.” 

Just as he was going to walk out the door, Alex stopped at the threshold and looked at Jo, “Um, Jo... You might want to wear a turtleneck today.” 

*****

It had been a week since Jo and Alex had woken up together after their drunken night. In that week, the memories of what happened had returned. Knowing and remembering that night was so much worse than having no memory of it. 

For Jo, it was as though her body would forever be imprinted with the reminder of that night. Too often that week, she had found herself daydreaming about that night. She could almost feel Alex pressed against her. She could almost hear the moans he let out as he made her feel like the most precious thing in the world. She could almost taste his lips and feel the ghost of them against her own. Now she understood. She understood why women always got hung up on Alex Karev, because he was incredible. And not just in bed. He was incredible in every way and she wanted more. 

For Alex, remembering that night was torture. Every nerve in his body cried out for Jo. The very little self-control he had left was threatening to fall apart. Before it was easier. He didn’t know what it was like to have her; to be with her. Now that he had, it was taking everything within him to not knock on her door night after night. The mere thought of another woman no longer excited him, he was ruined. Jo had completely ruined him for anyone else. He wanted her and not just her body. He wanted all of her. He wanted everything with her.  

Which is why, for the entire week, he’d been avoiding her. He made sure she wasn’t on his service. He was careful to ensure they were on opposite schedules so that he didn’t have to see her at home. Opposite schedules also meant that he’d have less of a chance of slipping up and doing something stupid like telling her he was in love with her. Any time they just so happened to be in the same room, he’d avoid making eye contact and walk the other way. 

By some unfortunate miracle, that morning, all three of the frat house residents were on the same schedule. It was a rare occurrence for all three of them to be leaving the house at the same time. As he walked into the kitchen, Alex was careful not to brush against Jo while trying to get to the cereal in the pantry. He kept his eyes fixed on the box of cereal and remained silent as he readied his bowl. Jo’s eyes flicked up at him before burying her face in the piece of toast she was eating and decided against bringing up what would be an extremely uncomfortable conversation.

What the two of them hadn’t counted on was Cristina’s overly observant eyes watching the scene unfold before her. 

“You too are acting weird. Hairball is always chatty in the morning and Evil Spawn, you always come up with a way to be a pain in Wilson’s ass before 7am,” Cristina took another bite into her apple before speaking. “Did you guys fight? Is that what this is? Does someone have hurt feelings?”

“Everything’s fine,” Jo answered.

“It’s none of your business Cristina,” Alex snapped.

She stared at them for a while longer when she let out a gasp of disbelief, “Oh my God. You two had sex! That’s why you’re acting so weird lately! Finally! We’ve all been waiting for it and you guys just won me some money.”

The two of them stared at her like deer in headlights. Neither said anything, causing Cristina to laugh hysterically, “Oh God. You guys haven’t talked about it. You’ve been avoiding each other. Now tell me, was it horrible? Did someone cry? Did you have trouble... you know? Ooh! Does Wilson have a secret penis?”

“What? No!” both Jo and Alex exclaimed.

That when Cristina, finally understanding what happened, gasped, “You guys liked it! You loved it and you want more.” 

Jo’s face was red and hot, “Yang, please stop.”

“You know, I was having a bad morning but I knew you’d make me feel better,” Cristina snickered. “Well, I’m going to work. Have fun carpooling together.”

“Dr. Yang! Wait!” Jo called out. “I’m ready. I’m coming with you!”

As they hopped in the car, Cristina eyed Jo, “You know, you should just tell him.”

“Tell him what?” 

“That you’re in love with him,” Cristina stated. “It’d be easier then whatever the hell you’re doing. Just get it all out there. No fear, no shame. And who knows, maybe you’ll be surprised and find out he feels the same way.”

“He does not feel the same way,” Jo sighed. 

Cristina, who knew for a fact he did, scrunched her face in confusion, “How do you know for sure?”

“Because I’m not his type,” Jo pointed out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s got a type. Tall, skinny, blonde, perky, bubbly. I am none of those things. I’m average height, I actually have some meat on my bones, brunette, and I’m sarcastic, jaded, and all kinds of complicated.”

Cristina rolled her eyes, “The only reason Alex chooses the same type of girl to hook up with is because he knows that no one with substance would be up for what he’s looking for. You have a personality. Use it.”

Jo stared at her incredulously, “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“I am a nice person,” Cristina glanced at her before putting her eyes back on the road. “And I don’t think I can live with the two of you pining over each other. Just be with him already. Then I won’t have to feel the sexual tension while I’m trying to eat breakfast or watch a movie.” 

*****

A few more weeks passed, and although they weren’t back to how they were before the incident, Jo and Alex had decided to put that night behind them and try to be in the same room together again.  After about a month, Alex finally felt comfortable enough around her not to jump her bones and decided to request her on his service. He had an interesting case coming in today and was sure that she wouldn’t want to miss it. 

Alex walked up to the residents’ lounge and popped his head in, “Wilson! Let’s go. You’re on my service today.” 

Jo looked up at him with a surprised expression on her face, “Really?”

“Yup,” Alex nodded. “Let’s go. We got a super cool case today.”

She smiled widely and turned around to the other residents, “So long suckers.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, “Oh please. You’re just excited you get to hang out with Karev today.”

“I think it’s unfair that she gets on a cool case just because he’s into her,” Leah pursed her lips.

“He’s not into me,” Jo said, pulling the scrub shirt over her head. She grabbed her lab coat and walked out to the hall where Alex was waiting. “Hey! So, what do we got?”

“Take a look for yourself,” he handed her the tablet.

She scrolled through the chart and read the kid’s information, “No way! He’s got Hirschsprung’s disease? There are like less that 200,000 cases of that per year around the world.”

“I know,” Alex grinned. “When I saw it I got excited and thought, why not share the excitement with my favorite resident?”

“You really shouldn’t pick favorites you know. People might start to suspect something is going on.”

“Oh please,” Alex scoffed. “Everyone’s got a favorite resident. Ross is Yang’s, Edwards has been working with Bailey a lot, Warren is tight with Webber, and I basically had to fight Torres for you. So, choosing favorites is normal. It means we see potential in you for our speciality. Which, by the way, since when do you love ortho so much? I thought you were considering peds.”

Jo smiled, “Well, I haven’t really been on your service for the past month so I had to find somewhere to shine. Torres says my aggressive tendencies are just what you need in ortho. It’s quite the rush. But, I must say, you might just turn me back onto peds if you keep putting me on cool cases like this one.”

“Haha, okay.”

They did their rounds and went to prep four year old Oliver Maxwell for his Hirschsprung’s bowel resection. As they walked into the room Alex shook hands with the parents and gave the kid a fist bump, “Hey Ollie, how are you feeling?”

“Eh,” Ollie shrugged. “I’m weady to feel betta. You can help me feel betta Dr. Awex?”

“I sure can, kiddo,” Alex grinned. “Dr. Wilson and I are going to go into your belly and take out all the bad stuff and make you feel so much better.”

“Good,” Ollie smiled.

Alex looked up to Ollie’s parents, “Okay. So, we are going to perform Ollie’s bowel resection in about an hour and a half. I’m going to send in an intern and a couple nurses in thirty minutes to make sure everything is ready for him to go up to the OR. We’re very hopeful that once the bowel resection is complete, he will no longer have any issues. However, since Hirschsprung’s is so rare, I would personally like to do a follow up every 3 months for the next year to see how he’s doing.” 

Mrs. Maxwell nodded, “Alright. And the surgery is a simple one right?”

“Yes, a bowel resection is a very routine procedure that we do everyday. However since he’s got Hirschsprung’s, the technique we use will be altered in order to fit his condition. But, if all goes well, he should be just fine.” Jo assured.

 “I’m sorry,” the woman apologized. “I’m just worried. You know how it is. To have your kid in the hospital. Do either of you have children?”

Alex shook his head, “No, neither of us have kids. But I do have a niece and nephew and a few months ago I had to give my niece, Zola, some stitches on her forehead. Her mom, who’s also a surgeon, was so worried and it wasn’t even anything serious. There are no rules when it comes to sick, hurt kids. If a surgeon is worried about their kid’s cut, it is completely normal for you to worry about your kid’s surgery.”

Jo smiled proudly. Alex had a long history of being great with kids, but not so much with the parents. It made her happy to see that he had developed himself and grown in the time she had been off his service. As they said goodbye to the parents, she gave him a cheeky look.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Whatever... go eat a snack, take a power nap, use the bathroom and meet me in OR 2 in an hour,” he instructed.

Their surgery went extremely well. Ollie did fantastic in surgery and would make a wonderful recovery. They updated the parents and continued on with the rest of their cases. 

“Nothing like a bowel resection on a Hirschsprung’s kid to start out your day,” Jo sighed.

“Ahh you see, there it is,” Alex motioned at her. “There’s that peds glow. I may be able to steal you back from Torres after all.” 

“Shut up,” Jo shoved him playfully. “What’s next?”

 *****

Another two weeks passed and Jo and Alex were back to normal, teasing each other, hanging out, and working together. It was nice being on peds again, she got to spend time with cute little kids, watch and assist on awesome surgeries, and hang out with her best friend. Today, they had done 2 appendectomies, 1 bowel resection, removed a neuroblastoma, and assisted on a peds trauma that came in. She hadn’t been feeling all that well today, and it could be the fact that she was around sick, germ-infested children all day. Her head was hurting and it was progressively getting worse as the day went on. To top it all off, her stomach had started hurting about an hour ago, but she pushed through the last couple hours of her shift.

As she got in the car later that evening, Jo was sure she was going to throw up. She must’ve looked green, because Alex looked at her from his spot in the driver’s seat, “Dude are you okay?”

“I think I’m gonna hurl,” she pressed a hand up to her mouth. 

Alex searched around the back seat and produced a trash bag and handed it to her, “Here. If you’re gonna vomit, aim for the bag.”

She glared at him, “Why do you even have trash bags in your car?”

“I like to be prepared,” he replied. “And I don’t like a messy car.”

Jo closed her eyes and tried to take deep breaths to distract her from the moving vehicle, in hopes of making it home. She must’ve dozed off, because the next thing she remembered is being lifted out of the car, and into the house. She opened her eyes and saw Alex cradling her closely, “Put me down.”

“Huh?”

“Put me down,” she mumbled. “You know I can walk right?” 

“I don’t mind,” one side of Alex’s mouth turned up in a small, sweet half smile. “Just relax.”

Jo closed her eyes again, she could tell that this time, she would fall asleep for real. Something about those arms made her feel so safe and warm. It was the closest they had been since the night they spent together and she couldn’t help but lean into him. Eventually, he reached top of the stairs and laid her down in her bed, pulling the covers up around her. Thinking she was asleep, he leant down and pressed a small kiss on her forehead, “Goodnight Jo. I hope you feel better.”

“Alex,” she called out. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

*****

The next morning Alex was awoken by the sound of his bedroom door being slammed open. Startling out of sleep he looked to see who was at the door, “Jesus! Cristina. What the hell? It’s early.”

“Sorry Evil Spawn,” Cristina walked in and made her way into the bathroom. “But Hairball is all over my bathroom puking her guts out and I need to get to work. I’ve got a very important surgery scheduled and I need to prepare.”

“How long has she been throwing up?” Alex asked.

“I don’t know. The past hour, maybe?” she shrugged. “Did you guys drink too much last night?”

“No,” he shook his head. “She was feeling sick at work yesterday and almost threw up in my car on our way home. By the time we got here, she had fallen asleep and I had to carry her up to bed.”

“Well she’s definitely sick,” Cristina surmised. “Don’t know what it is, but I do know that I cannot catch whatever she has because I have very important patients that need me to save their lives.”

“I’ve got the day off. I’m gonna go check on her,” he got out of the bed and put on a pair of sweatpants before walking through the hallway to the bathroom. He stopped outside the door and knocked, “Jo you okay?”

She groaned, “No.”

Alex pushed the door open and found Jo sitting on the floor with her head against the wall, “You know I’ve got to say... this isn’t your best look.”

She glared at him, “Shut up. I feel like crap.”

“You look like crap,” he crouched down to the ground and wrapped an arm around her. “Hey. Look at me. You want me to tell Hunt that you’re not going to work today?”

She nodded, “Yes please.”

“Okay. I’m going to call him right now.”

She hummed in response and crawled over to the bathroom cabinet where she kept the medicine. As she was searching through the cabinet, her eyes fell on a box of tampons. In that instant, Jo could’ve sworn that her heart stopped. She picked it up and traced her brain, trying to remember the last time she had used one. It had been at least two months. How the hell did she not notice? 

“Hey I called Hunt,” Alex came in, startling her. “You okay? Oh... do you need me to go buy you some more tampons?” 

Jo shook her head, “No. No... I don’t need them.”

Alex looked at her strangely, “Okay...”

She took a steadying breath, “I’m gonna say something, but you have to promise me you’ll stay calm.”

Alex sat down on the floor next to her and cradled her face in his hands, “Jo, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong.” 

She looked at him nervously, “Don’t freak out, but I think I’m pregnant. I haven’t had a period since... before we...”

Jo wished someone would’ve been there to see the exchange, because the look that crossed Alex’s face was one that she would’ve wanted on film. He was doing his best not to freak out, but his eyes were wide as saucers and his jaw dropped. He took a deep breath and closed his mouth before nodding at her, “Okay... okay. That’s fine. It’s gonna be alright. We’ll go get the test right now. How about you get in the shower and I’ll go to the store.” 

“Okay,” Jo agreed. 

The drive to the drugstore was a heavy one. Alex was doing his best to keep it together, he couldn’t freak out. Not when Jo might be pregnant with his baby after one drunken night together. When he finally made it into the parking lot, he stopped and banged his head on the steering wheel. 

He’d done it again. This is exactly why Alex didn’t want to pursue things with Jo, because every girl he got involved with came out of it worse than before. He thought they’d be okay. He thought that they could get past this and he’d eventually long for her a little less every day that passed. But instead, he might’ve just knocked up his best friend. He might’ve just screwed up the life of the woman he was desperately in love with. 

He put her in an impossible position. She could choose to have an abortion, a choice that was difficult to make and go through with for any woman. Not to mention such a decision would put a strain on their friendship because they would always think about what could’ve been. There was adoption, but Alex didn’t think he’d be able to live knowing he had a kid out there and Jo had such horrible experiences in the foster care system that she would never be able to do that to her own kid. 

That meant the other option was keeping the baby. How would that work? Would they be together? Would they co-parent? Would that be the best option for either of them? Jo was only a second year resident. Having a baby right now could affect her career. It could affect any decisions she made in the future about her life. 

Taking a deep breath, Alex finally got out of the car and walked into the store, buying five pregnancy tests. Each one was a different brand, in hopes of getting the most accurate results. He took the boxes up to the register and locked eyes with a woman who seemed to be in her mid-60’s in line, in front of him. She looked down at his basket and smiled, “I don’t know what answer you’re hoping for, but good luck.” 

He huffed a laugh, “Thanks.”

Back home, Jo was having a mini-meltdown. Jo was almost positive she was pregnant. She had all the same symptoms as the last time. That’s right. This wasn’t Jo’s first pregnancy. While Jo had been married to Paul, she got pregnant. Days after discovering her pregnancy, he beat her half to death. She knew then, that she could not have that baby. She couldn’t allow her child to come into a home full of abuse. She couldn’t allow for her child to be scared of their father. She couldn’t allow for herself to be tied to Paul forever. Because she knew that’s what would happen. If she ever tried to leave, if she ever tried to divorce him, they would fight over the kid. And there was no way she could fight his lawyers for custody. Her child would lose in every scenario. 

So, she made the hardest decision she’d ever had to make in her life. Jo had an abortion and sobbed throughout the experience. She wasn’t ashamed of it. She didn’t regret it. But she promised herself that she’d never have to go through it again. She’d be more careful. She’d have a kid when she was ready, with a man who loved her and treated her with nothing but respect. She couldn’t go through an abortion again. The last time almost broke her, but it was the catalyst she’d needed to get herself out of that situation.

Jo knew she would keep this baby. There was no question that she’d be this baby’s mom. Everything else was up in the air. How would she fit a baby into her life? She was a second year surgical resident with a crazy schedule. She wanted to be a good mom, a present mom. But that would require her taking a step back in her career. Where would she and the baby live? Could they stay in Alex’s house? Would Alex even want to be in the baby’s life? Would he kick her out? Or would he co-parent with her? Did he want to be tied to her for the rest of his life? 

All of those questions and fears had to be put on pause when she heard the front door open. From her spot on the couch, she saw Alex enter with a plastic bag in his hand. Holding it up, he gave her a small smile, “I bought five... all different brands and stuff.”

Jo reached out for the bag and took it with her into the bathroom. Despite this situation being almost as complicated as the last time she peed over a stick, the one emotion she realized wasn’t present was fear. Last time she had been terrified. This time she was nervous, sure, but she wasn’t afraid. It was Alex, and whether he decided to be this baby’s dad or not, he’d never hurt her over this. 

She washed her hands and stepped out of the bathroom, setting a timer on her phone, “I took them all. Boxes said to wait about three minutes.” 

Those three minutes were some of the longest minutes of her life. Her and Alex stared at each other silently, waiting for the timer to go off. When it finally did, Jo felt a wave of nausea come over her. She looked over at Alex who grabbed her hand and squeezed it, leading her back to the bathroom for the moment of truth. 

Unsurprisingly, every single test came out positive. Jo couldn’t tell if it was the stress or the pregnancy itself, but soon, she was crouched above the toilet vomiting again. She felt a hand on her back rubbing circles as another one pulled her hair back. When she was finished, she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth before flopping onto the floor. She groaned, “Alex I’m fine. Just go. You don’t have to do this. I can do this on my own. Take the out. I’m giving you an out, take it. You can be fun Uncle Alex, no responsibilities.” 

“No,” Alex said firmly, bringing her close. “I’m not taking the out Jo. I’m not leaving you alone in this. Above everything, you are my best friend and we’re gonna have a baby together. So, I’m gonna be here and I’m gonna be a great dad and you’re gonna be a great mom and we’re going to do this together.” 

She rested her head on his shoulder, “Are you sure? You live your life a certain way and I don’t want to get in the way of that. A kid is really gonna put a damper on your sex life. And I know you didn’t mean for us to even have sex anyway. I’m not exactly your type and I don’t know if I could handle knowing that you didn’t want me for the rest of my life.”

Alex looked at Jo as if she’d grown three heads, “Are you kidding? Jo, what we did, wasn’t an accident. We both wanted it. We’ve wanted it for so long, but we were too scared and needed some liquid courage. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. I can’t even talk to a chick without every cell in my body protesting because it’s not you. Because it’s always been you, Jo. I love you. So, I’m staying right where I am, because I’m happy right here with you.”

Her face broke out into the brightest smile he’d ever seen. She leaned in and kissed him, “I love you too. I have for a long time, now.” 

“Holy shit,” Alex exclaimed. “We’re having a baby.”

“Oh my God. Yeah. We’re having a baby,” Jo laughed. “Me and you. Together. Having a baby.”

They both cackled loudly until the point of tears. It was hilarious to think that two months ago, they would’ve never even dreamed of a moment like this. As their laughter died down, Alex gasped, “Crap.”

“What?”

“We’ve gotta tell people,” he shared. “Not right now, but eventually we gotta tell people.”

“Shit,” Jo responded. “Oh God! We’ve got to tell Yang. She’s never going to let us live it down.”

Alex’s eyes widened, “Dammit. I forgot about Cristina. Be prepared to get custom made onesies that say Evil Spawn’s Spawn on them.” 

“Our kid is going to be so spoiled,” Jo grinned. “They’re going to have everything we didn’t as kids.”

He placed his hand on her still flat belly, “Yeah they are.”

[calypsoff]

Nineteen. Part 2

Robyn fell asleep as soon as we got on the plane, so I just stayed here and listened to Robyn’ new album, I have listened to Stay twice already, I do like that song so much. It’s weird because you can hear the pain in her voice, wonder what hurt her, was it me. I am not sure on when it was recorded but I have listened to it twice. This album is dope though; I will promote of course. Taking a screenshot of the song playing and then going onto Instagram, adding the picture and adding a caption ‘Go buy and stream my baby album, shit bangs! @badgalriri’ pressing send on the post, funny thing is Robyn hasn’t really had the energy to even promote, she is so damn tired. I was so confused earlier that who was posting on her page, but it was Tina, I am so basic at times. It’s odd that Robyn kind of saw what was to come because how did she know that this tour would have been so stressful for her “so how was it? I mean are you happy to be back in USA?” Rorrey crouched down in front of me “uhm, it was entertaining. I just don’t approve how stressed out Robyn has become, it’s a little too much. She changed on me and stuff but yeah, she has so much more to go yet, she needs a day off but I am glad to be back in the USA, shame I couldn’t really see the countries I went too” Rorrey looked over at Robyn and then laughed “you can come on her big tour and see it all, her big tour is not as compact, but it is stressful, but we get breaks in between. Glad you could come out, you’re a good guy. I mean to deal with that” he pointed at Robyn, laughing at him “we shall see, she said we are going to talk once this is over, I would hope though” rubbing the back of my head.

New York seems to be a little hectic, I mean with the new album release, the hype around it is a little crazy. At times I feel like I am Robyn’ bodyguard, just because I want to make sure she is ok. We are walking in the airport to get to the SUV and we have the whole fucking population following and then paparazzi just there flashing, I don’t know how she is even smiling “are you happy riri!? Your new album” one of them shouted “I hope y’all bought my shit first of all” she put her hand up as the flashing became a little unbearable, even for me. Placing my hand on her back as I put my head down walking, the screams and chants of Rihanna. This one woman is causing this shit “move back” suddenly the walking abruptly stopped and it’s like we are being enclosed “what is happening?” Robyn asked, trying to peak over “move out!” from the corner of my eye I see this hand grab onto Robyn and just screamed I love you “get off her bro, the hell” a grown ass man just touching her “I want to move, tell them to move!” Robyn turned to me, we are practically stuck “I don’t feel too good, I really need to go” placing my arm around Robyn, I was about to push people out of the way, but Rich did it for me.

The was terrible, I am glad to be in the SUV. I really hate people being sick, I am gagging but Robyn is vomiting in the back of the SUV, I was going to sit with her but Mel did it. She seems to be in deep talks with Robyn, looking behind me again, they seem to be going back and forth. Mel seems very angry “are you ok?” I asked Mel then I saw Robyn be sick again, turning my head away “could say, I am just beating her back while she is sick” she is really sick, this tour is no good “you think she will be ok for tonight” I don’t think she is “she has got to leave for Cali tomorrow morning, she got the VMA thing” nodding my head “right, Robyn” let me stop being childish “are you sure you will make it for tonight” she shook her head as she sobbed out resting her head on Mel’ shoulder, she is really crying “I feel so bad, I can’t do anything” I hate that she is crying, it is honestly so concerning to see this “Robyn, hey” reaching over and placing my hand on her knee, she placed her hand over mine “I just feel like I am going to start my period” Robyn said through her sobs and Mel shushed her “you want me to do anything? You need a doctor?” she shook her head, this is not good “I really want to take you away from this, you seem in pain” she closed her eyes and cringed in pain.

We arrived at the hotel, finally but Robyn and Mel seem to be attached together, like I can’t even intervene at all “Robyn wants you” Mel said, stuffing my hands in my pockets “is she ok?” I questioned, Mel just shrugged, not sure on if that means yes or no. Walking towards the bedroom, wonder what she is doing in here. She is wrapped up in bed “you good?” I asked “I am in pain, I need to ask you a favour, just you please. Mel can’t do it because she is busy but say yes first, hold my hand first” I am scared, it is going to be something stupid now “I am scared” slowly walking over to Robyn “I know I have been a pain for you but we will get to talk soon but just need you right now” holding onto Robyn’ hand “that was the deal, but what is up?” seems to be something up “I love you so much, I do. I need you to do this without telling anyone, just on your own. Please come back with it” my heart is beating so hard “ok fine, yes. What is it?” Robyn looks so drained “you look white” I spat “thanks but go to Target, it’s close here. And get me pads” confusion hit me “knee pads? What for?” I questioned, I don’t understand “ok, Chris. Women have periods, I am bleeding. You know what a period is?” I laughed “uhm yeah I do” now I am red “so I need you to get me pads, I seem to be very heavy and I can’t use a tampon so please, go to Target and get pads for heavy flow. For me” letting out an oh “oh my god” I breathed out “right, so pads for heavy flow?” she nodded her head “why can’t Tina do it?” I don’t get it “because I want to keep this to me for the moment, I want to just fix myself up so I can perform, please just do it” nodding my head.

This is annoying, I am not even going to start searching that for myself. I will ask for damn help, the fuck do I get for heavy flow, she did say heavy flow, I am sure she said that but let me ask “excuse me, ma’am” I went over to the lady, there was a guy closer but he ain’t about to know shit “yes” she smiled at me “I need pads, like not the pads you think but pads” I am so awkward “period pads?” she just said it out loud “uh yeah, that is for my girlfriend, you know. I am not sure what to get or where to go” laughing nervously “oh it’s fine, follow me” she is laughing at me lowkey, I mean I would laugh at me. I sound dumb as fuck, following behind the lady. I am annoyed I have to come because I don’t get why her assistant couldn’t come, it would have been easier for her, for me. Mel and Robyn seem to be up to something, and Mel seems very annoyed “these are the pads and tampons we have, you sure she didn’t say tampon?” shaking my head “she said pads, heavy flow. I can’t tell you how heavy, but she said that” I shrugged “right, we have with or without wings?” I am so confused “nah, see how the hell do I know this? Ma’am she said heavy flow, that is it. Give me the ones that will be best for her, she will be moving around? Does that help” this lady needs to stop laughing at me “I got you” how is there so many pads, makes no sense to me at all.

What a pain, I made it back with a bag of pads, I ain’t sure how many so I got like two but whatever “pad boy is back” Mel is sat here doing nothing, why the hell did I have to go “why didn’t you go?” I questioned “I got beef with her, she needs those so give them” this is dumb “right” let me just give Robyn this and then complain, I mean I don’t mind it but she has people here too “you get it” Robyn gets worse and worse “you look green” Robyn snorted laughing “be quiet, give me the pads and leave me to it” holding out the bag to her “why? Can I not watch? She asked about wings, I have no idea about that shit so yeah” Robyn giggled as she looked at the packet “this will do, that is perfect. Thank you” stepping back a little “if you are bleeding where are you bleeding now?” I pointed, I mean it’s a genuine concern “do me a favour, can you go into the next room. The hotel room next to this and ask for Tina, tell her I want the thing, she knows” am I errand boy “are you going to start paying me for this?” she shook her head “you can be my nurse, I will get you a nurse’s outfit. Thank you” nodding my head, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Making my way out of the bedroom, Mel is going into the room as I left.

I feel played, Tina doesn’t know shit and said she didn’t ask for nothing “well she said for me to come here and say that but it’s whatever. Is the family in there? Meaning her mom and stuff?” I asked, Tina opened the door “come in, she is” peaking inside, I wasn’t going to go inside but then Monica saw me so I have too, that is rude of me “hi” walking inside “hello, how are you” she got up from the couch “tired thank you” hugging her “where is that daughter of mine” moving back from the hug “she is next door? You not know?” she shook her head frowning “no I don’t, she never said anything. She said see you soon” Robyn is up to something and is making me do stuff to not notice “hi Noella, you getting bigger with the bump, don’t get up” leaning down to her “thank you Chris, and I am close but here I am showing out for my cousin, this is my boyfriend Nik” she introduced me to him “what’s up” dapping him “this is Robyn’ current boyfriend, I am joking with you” side eyeing Noella “I feel like skipping this date on this tour, y’all ever get sick of hearing Robyn sing?” sitting down on the couch “oh yeah, there is only so much Umbrella” see she understands “yeah, I am like we get it you found love in a hopeless place but should be good, she will be singing some of her new shit, I love stay, that shit is dope” Robyn wants to kick me out so I am sitting with her family, they dope anyways “you went on the tour with her?” Noella boyfriend asked “yeah, a little forced. I joke, we had a little disagreement, but I went. I am glad I did, I got to see Robyn in action, I got to see how she works and how she deals with things, she works very hard and I am super proud of her” that is the truth.

Stifling out a yawn listening to my mother on the phone, I thought I would call her while I am doing nothing but waiting around, she is preaching the good word in my ear. She wants god to look over me while I am here, even she knows about the journalist I attacked, it’s dumb “but baby, I want you to remain calm, people are trying to play with your aura, they are trying to get to you so please” nodding my head like she can she “I will mom, I think I will be going back to Texas after this anyways. Robyn I think she is going to California, but I will give that a miss, you know me so yeah. But talk soon, love you” Robyn finally came into the room looking like her normal self “love you too baby” disconnecting the call “you never came back?” Robyn said before hugging her mother, she knows damn well “don’t play in my face, you look normal again? Like yourself?” Robyn chuckled “it’s make up poppa, what else. It’s like nothing ever happened” squinting my eyes at her, she is acting weird as fuck, but I am not going to push her on this, I will keep it to myself for now.

Robyn performing Stay; I feel so happy that she is. Like the first line has got to be about me, I feel it is and it’s a little shameful because it explains me perfectly because I am that but I am here still. Did she record this after seeing me again, got to be. I am watching Robyn from the side of the stage this time. I thought stay close to her, tilting my head to the side bopping my head. She sounds so good, for a person that was on the verge of collapsing, unless she is hiding it. Squinting my eyes, is Robyn crying but she is hiding by putting her head down, wait she is crying. Why is she crying, she has never cried at any other date. Is it New York, did New York make her cry. Her backup singers carried it off as she turned away from the crowd to gather herself, her emotions are everywhere and it’s so bad, I don’t know where I am with her a lot of the times. I want to go on stage and hold her but I guess not, she will gather herself eventually.

Clapping my hands for Robyn, it’s done. This is over, it’s all over and I am so happy for her. She is an emotional wreck, and is crying of course, I wolf whistled and then hugged her “so proud of you, that was hard” pressing a kiss to her cheek “thank you, I am so glad it’s over” I am glad it’s over for her “why don’t you get your friends, and come to the afterparty with them, I will meet you there. You can go and get them now, and just go there with them yeah? I will meet you there” I didn’t even know there was one “I will go with you?” I pointed “I will meet you there, get them before they go. I will see you there ok?” pecking her lips “ok then, I will do that. You will be there right?” I am confused on why I can’t just come with her “I will be, I will text you the address too. I will see you there” I guess I will get them two, we can just eat and hang out and then go to the club. Robyn probably knows she will be forever.

Knocking on the hotel room door, it’s four in the morning. No Robyn, she didn’t come to the afterparty, neither did Mel. Only person that came, I say only but a few other’s but Rorrey came, I asked him where his sister was. He said she left with Mel; Robyn is also ignoring my calls, so I am angry. She is not even in the hotel room, but her shit is there along with her mobile too, knocking on the door again. I don’t care if it’s late, I want to see her mother. She will know where she is, the door unlocked and opened, Noella answered “it’s late?” she is half asleep “where the fuck is Robyn!?” I sound so rude “sorry, where is she? She is ignoring my calls; she has been off all day. I am confused, is it me!?”  Noella looks so confused “I can assure you; I don’t know. I thought she is at the afterparty, you not called her” stating the obvious “her and Mel are missing, is it me? What the hell, someone must know. She is Rihanna, she can’t go missing!?” Noella seems too calm for me “I wouldn’t worry too much Chris; she will be around. Maybe she has gone for a walk, but she can’t have gone far” they are playing me too “you’re lying for her too, damn. All y’all been lying to me, you know where she is. Where her mother at?” Noella sighed out “I promise you I don’t, I just don’t worry about it because she goes for random walks at times” Robyn is literally missing, nobody seems to fucking care and I am pissed.

[romy350-romyakari]

Since I'm okey with people calling me out here I will unleash my humble opinion on a matter that makes me roll on my seat because is so funny as it also is so... uhmmm "weird" to have in count.

Take it as the writers huge mistake what I'm going to point out in a bit.

I guess I'm still salty even after 5 years. Is confusing at best and I'm adding this after writing all of this. Is a lot to read so please just know is a huge ramble.

aka me rambling over what I feel on rewatch been no longer that young

Is part of our experience judge that to some degree.

Characterization is important, it defines who we see on a story and is better if there are consistend or if their inconsistent have a good reason to be.

Well I was young once and could miss mistake like the 180° not so justified turn of events on a main character. I realize some years later and can laugh about it because it makes no sense.

I'm going to explain the case of Angel's Friends cartoon and that huge mistake from their characters.

Like I am fond of the series because it was my first fandom. But still I can't unsee this as you can guess.

Let's begin with the nature of something they like to state early on the cartoon show which was really cliché but angels were the goodie two-shoes and devils were the bad guys im general. Simple but not so simple for them to keep in rule it seems.

I like to imagine they respect some of the calm and more expected nature of the angels and the chaotic and up to no good ways of the devils like the Original comics did for both of them but we wouldn't be here on my post if that was the case.

It was quite a mess how the cartoon take the character since the side character could be so plain that you forgot that they were doing something till they were support help to their own side been angels or devils.

But again with the stuff that make me roll off till now and nobody on the show says a thing about.

They freaking mess up with their own statment of Sulfus on the cartoon show and they can't tell me no they didn't. Is hillarious and let me tell you why.

They may say on that thing how "loves make you change" but this one could be taken for a fool and is really lot coming from me.

They present him lot more chaotic and really problematic on just chapter 1, it did give an impression but everthing goes down hill a bit from her and on.

As the plot of first season is the villianess doing hidding matchmaking and poison of love plan that seem to turn into a real love story for this chaotic case of the female lead Raf an angel and the male lead who is Sulfus a devil so she could scape limbo to the terrible consecuenses that bring over a trully huge rule on the series wich is part of a magic code of not interfering with each other party and less uhmm a kiss, you really see lot of stuff go on here and mark my word is not like "oh no this is not safe for the kids" but is not quite recomended for them peraphs.

This doesn't make sence but i think the villianess plan was an excuse to showcase the romantic tension and ovearlod or romantic takes.

I can't watch the series withouh some wather to pass the taste of "i thinks this is too much"

But this mention has a meaning behind since i need to state this and the huge overload on the romance we get because i believe is a guge thing that affecter how they write the characters on the cartoon show .

They really did bad to Sulfus uh? Like most of the show. You wouldn't qish to have to deal with chapter 1 Sulfus as asigned rival, he seem to be a big deal on the devils group because how remacable chaotic he was but that didn't last long.

The villianess plan was a match making one since he and Raf break a rule that is used to her advantage she would lead them to comith a sacrilege which would really shake that magical code that they should not mess with. It causes huge dissasters and mess btw.

There is s small time gap before the love poison the villianess send on a spider that she encomended her only servant with leaning it to find the pair of eternals she was targeting. On that gap we still retained normal characterization for Sulfus but the episode went down hills on characterization pretty quickly.

It was so uncalled for the way they set the situation of the bit from the spider tho... idk if blame the spider at all because actually the romance would no have a foot at all if the writers didn't bend Sulfus as a character like the extend they did.

There is this huge point they state that their romace was not because of the spider bit that later i think is kind of acknowledge but is quite confusing if they wat to justify some fated love.

Anyways from then on we see how literally did soften Sulfus character to the point he been devil makes me wonder why nobody call him out about it like there is this expectation they stated us the normal was been that troublesome chaotic for devils but they seem to just let it pass from then on. I am still laughing because he actually change so much that rewatch episode one you can just laugh because at that point you know he will became a softie later that is actually bad for him as a charcter since there is little to non struggle on why he is behaving that way or if he wants to undertand this changes at all.

There is near to non thinking on him since idk, it should peraphs feel more comflicting with all stated but he just misses the cue and goes for it on ocaccions?? Is quite weird he is so open to forget the only rules the devils respect. The no involve themselven with angels matters pr the angels themselves unless is about work.

Was is the spider? Who knows they smke it confusing after the trial episode and then the movie came and idk if laugh to the villaness of some fortune teller since wow she was lucky on that scape uh?

They literally make him datable material for the female lead and is a sad thing but well, the cartoon show itself could acomplish as the one with most romace scenes/moments of all time for a cartoon show, not well written but it has them. And maybe the one with an exclusive kissing sequence [no it was not just a few seconds for the kissing scene, there was a freaking sequece of it if i recall well and i recall it as something thar they put budge on it for some reasons since they did a 360° turn around on the sequence even] is impressive comoared to other european cartoons that claimed to have romace on the tags and give you a but here and there while this was like a full bag of the bread but questonable if is one you will like lol

You know the writer forgot many stuff when then Sulfus was the one trying to remind Raf the rules but follow behind her because who care love is a fool or so writers say on those chapter after the half of season 1

If you cringe is undestandable, I cannot rewatch in a full go as I used to when I was younger, i could because i let so many stuff pass.

Sometimes I wonder why even follow this plot idea when the Original comics had a great plot a great characters.

The most consistent Sulfus I know so far is Original Comic Sulfus, that is entretating to read and he does not change much from who he is, he may be a may character and this yime kind of falling in love with the Raf there but well, is not quite the deal since is explained this weird odds of the posibility of anglels and devils with training on 99% not be complete perfect and could end up with a crush or so but all is just momentary and will vanish once they reach 100%. Is onsided crush thing since the live interest for Raf is a human on the Original Comics and that, again, is a prohibited thing, the magic code is not applied between angels and devils but between humans and eternals here.

Back to Original comics Sulfus is quite funny how he figure out he is having a crush, btw they all pre-teen kiddos apearance wise except for the master of the school program while the cartoon show present them as teenager lookalike, and really he does struggle and bit on that whole process of realization. It seems Original comics Sulfus give hint of it but it was subtle changes that yeah it was nice details, maybe is even sad how he just decides to be subtle about it and do nothing big since is not something he would bother much aside there is bigger issues for angels and devils, that characters I like of that characterization is that he will still be who they state him to be but subtle changes mark that realization.

And the rest of the cast is just as cool on ther characterization, you see somtimes little on some of the characters but they don't lose thar cool characterization they had from the start and is so welcome from me as a reader.

A shame they cancelled the good comic because of the cartoon show, really a shame. I will be sad about that till the end of my days because iwanted the resolution of all major a smaller struggles were cool to read.

I have no idea how they funded a movie and a second season of the cartoon show and idk how their live action somewhat based on some fact of the cartoon show went.

But to make thing short here the resume:

Cartoon show mess it up big time with characterization and we lost cool orginial comics thanks tho the cartoon show, that would be all.

You fan cring or be sad about it and I will get it.

Yeah I"m still bit salty about that.

[booksneedcaffeinetoo]

Book Review: House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1) by Sarah J. Maas

House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J. Maas

This review is going to be LITTERED with SPOILERS because idk how to talk about this book without giving away the whole plot.

Consider yourself officially warned. 

I’m still debating on my rating, but for now here is my review. Fair warning: it is rant-y and ramble-y and hasn't been edited yet. I'll clean it up when I come back for a rating.

As always, content warnings are listed at the bottom!

Overall Positives:

• SJM has actually included a few gay characters….now they are all very minor side characters (Isiah, Fury, Juniper, and Declan) who are only present for maybe 3% total of the novel, but at least they exist??? So she gets points for actually having gay characters who aren’t killed off. You can say that she’s making an effort.

• The banter between Bryce and Hunt was pretty funny

• That scene with the knock-off My Little Pony dolls was funny

• I think there might've been a reference in the book to First Aid Kit (the sister folk duo) and it made my heart squeal because I love that band SO MUCH!

• Bryce actually has a great relationship with her mom and her stepfather! And they are both alive! And stay alive! I’m actually struggling to recall a book I’ve read where the main character in the book has a). both parents alive and b). a great relationship with them both. So that was really refreshing!

• Hunt in a sunball cap.

• Bryce and Hunt taking photos together. Way too adorable.

• Ride or die friendship. I love books that emphasize the importance of friendship.

• That LIGHT IT UP DANIKA LIGHT IT UP LIGHT IT UP scene....like i felt that...her happiness. so sweet. i teared up at that scene ngl....

• Pretty good depiction of grief. How even after years the pain of losing your friend doesn’t go away. How some people cut themselves off to cope and others don’t. How some take out their anger on the closest target. How some people remember the dead one’s birthday and other don’t. etc. etc.

• It really was a slow burn because they like didn’t even kiss until 75% into the 3,000 page book.

• Rhun is my favorite character in this book. He’s a goth softie king. I also loved the Demon Cat. And Fury. And Declan. And Flynn. And Isaiah. And Hunt. And Lele. And the dog. And Jesiba. And Randall. And….well….that’s about it….

• I have recently been getting more and more into Urban Fantasy so I am excited and glad that this book is UF. I also like how it takes place in a different world with a different history (although for some reason I went into this book under the impression it takes place in New Orleans…)

Overall Negatives:

• If I ever have to see the word “alphahole” again it will still be too soon. I get that she was going for meta and trying to poke fun at how the trope in so many UF books includes an alphamale love interest….but it just doesn’t really work because none of the guys she was calling an alphahole was actually acting like one??? Okay so this is kind of ramble-y but whatever. When I think of an alphamale love interest acting like a…*shudders*…. alphahole I think of the stereotypical shifter romance/erotica novel where the guy likes wants to punch any guy who stands too close or talks to his mate. I think of him making outrageous claims, always posting a guard, never letting her leave the house, etc. all without any cause. Having a literal demon serial killer who (at this point in the book) you believe RIPPED APART AN ENTIRE PACK OF WEREWOLVES and is killing everyone who is close to working on the same case as you and you are a half-fae who NEVER carries a weapon with you, doesn’t have magic, and no one beside your mom, stepdad, and dead bestie know that you can turn into a flashlight at will…..yeah it makes sense that the people who care about you would like you to have a guard. But that’s not “alphahole” behavior. Nor is when you’re starving yourself from guilt him being concerned and wanting you to eat, or wanting you to try to take care of yourself….that’s not “alphahole” behavior, it’s being a good friend/sibling. If someone wanted a guard on her PRIOR to her investigating the murder than yeah….that would be “alphahole” 100%. But that’s not what happened…one of the highlights of the book was Hunt calling out Bryce by telling her that she is actually the “alphahole” here.

• Fucking sunball = baseball. WHYYYYYY I thought it was soccer for so long until Hunt tossed on a “sunball cap”

• I thought that Violet Hall from Pucked was the most infuriating main character I have read in a long time until I met Bryce fucking Quinnland. It is a pet peeve of mine when a character acts like someone (usually lazy or a partier) and then gets pissed because people think they are how they act??? Like, if you act like an asshole then don’t be shocked if people think you are an asshole. Also she was someone who was terribly selfish and stupidly reckless for no reason for 99% of the book. Yeah she’s ride or die for her friends which is supposed to be her best quality but she is just terribly rude to so many people. Like take Lele for example. Bryce treated her horribly until Hunt was sold again, then was friends with Lele for like a week which someone equated to Lele being willing to die for her???

• Part two of that bullet above^: Why was everyone willing to die for Bryce? Maybe I hate Bryce because she reminds me too much of Jane Salone from The Bold Type with her ‘I’m always right’ attitude. But yeah, everyone is willing to die for her. I don’t get why though. Also everyone wants to fuck her. She can’t walk down the street without like five dudes wanting to fuck her. It was so annoying. Also how the hell has she not died by age 25!?!? There is a different between being bitchy with your algebra teacher versus being bitchy with some guy who could smite you before you blink. And all of them are like ‘oooh she’s not afraid of me like everyone else how charming’ and I’m just like NO. That’s like if I intentionally pissed off some mafia dom and instead of making an example out of me for dissing him in front of his mafia bros, he’s like ‘oooh you’re sassy wanna fuck?’ MAKES NO SENSE!!!

•Part three of the above^: okay before someone comes at me and says ‘well would you be saying the same things if she was a guy doing an acting this way’ well probably. I love the KATE DANIELS (Magic Bites) series. And Kate is a no-nonsense, can come across rude, and gives zero fucks what anyone else thinks about her. Kind of like Bryce, but less bitchy and has the power and skills to back up her recklessness. (No one around Bryce learns of her secret lightbright gift or of her sharpshooting skills until the very end so I am maintaining my ‘she’s reckless’ viewpoint based on everyone around her not knowing of her abilities when she does all of this dumbshit). Kate also is a fucking martyr who runs towards danger even when the odds are against her. Just like Bryce. But I love Kate and hate Bryce. So…yeah I think it was just a Bryce issue. It took until about 41% with the whole phone-Sandriel thing for me to stop finding her insufferable….but I still never really liked her after that...I could stand her for the occasional paragraph or two

• Speaking of martyrs…why is everyone one in this book!?!? NOT EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE A MARTYR!!!

• Another reason I hate Bryce (yes I’m back on that Bryce shit) is because after Hunt broke her heart he immediate thought upon learning who he was going to be sold (back to his old owner who is a sadistic fuck) her thought was good, he deserves it and all he did was break her heart and not want to be a slave anymore and kept something he knew would destroy you (which yeah, keeping that secret furthered his cause but still…) and I just????? Have???? No words???? Like girl you have a RIGHT to be PISSED but jfc that doesn’t equate to TORTURE.

• Ugh and then her whole ‘take me instead’ bullshit was so reminiscent of that Jules and Emma whipping scene from Lady Midnight I almost gagged for the level of cheese and martyr-syndrome 

• Why is everyone described as “brown,” “golden brown,” or “tan”?! It’s like SJM is trying to not make everyone white but doesn’t want to fully commit…

• And was anyone uncomfortable/cringed at the ‘white angel wings are supreme to any wings with color’ bit....

• I hate books where the werewolves can talk outloud in human form. I cringed.

• Why was the calling people by their last name thing not consistent? I’ve read books before where characters flip between using another character’s first and last name, but there is context behind why they choose one or the other: the professional setting, if the person is happy or upset, who is being addressed, etc. But you’ll get Hunt calling Bryce “Bryce” and “Quinnland” within a sentence of each other? And literally every character did stuff like this. It was weird and not consistent at all.

Negatives About the Plot:

• This book really felt like three books in one: Part One (first 12ish%) being the day leading up to the Pack of Devil’s murder. And I do mean like every boring thing that happened. Part Two (the next 66ish%) being the murder investigation. Part Three (the last 22ish%) being where all the action occurred. The book felt like it couldn’t decide what it wanted to be. The summary promised a murder investigation so I was expecting it to be a KATE DANIELS-esque plot. But nothing of true importance really occurred during that investigation. We got some cool flashbacks with Danika, and some sweet moments between Hunt and Bryce…but that’s it. SJM isn’t Brandon with a Stormlight Archives (The Way of Kings) complicated interwoven plot. I think the book as whole would have been better if it was about 300 pages shorter.

• Nothing in the plot of true importance happened until the last 100 pages or so.

• I mean we literally got every single thing that happened during every single day of their investigation…it was….too much detail.

• When I got to 80% like every other chapter felt like the book should end. It could’ve ended on a cliffhanger. Like right after Hunt was found on that boat. But nope….

• Figures. SJM can’t have a main couple unless they both are super special. Did anyone else feel like she just recycled parts of ACOMAF in this book? Hunt: has wings and super special powers. Bryce: absorbs some super-fae juiced up power from a cauldron—er….I mean arch—to get extra powers and become the most super cool and super special fae in all existence because god forbid we have a heroine who isn’t the most physically powerful person ever. I mean, to hell with mental strength. Must be physically magically powerful or you’re no good!

• The only plot points that surprised me were the hunt being at the drug bust (because we got nothing from his povs that he was remotely interested in going back down that revolution road especially after his whole meeting with Briggs…still iffy with this one, because his thoughts in that cell sound like he actually was on board with it until he called it off because the drug is too dangerous but his call to the viper queen said she owed him a favor so…..) and Micah’s weird horn hard-on. Literally nothing else surprised me...

• I really though Reid would play a bigger role considering Bryce used to date him and is fam is responsible for that drug....but nope. The dude is like never even mentioned.

• Ugh...that villain speech. Maybe I'm just like...what's the point? Why not just zap the bitch why do you need to tell her your life story!?!?!

• Also let's be real, Danika's password never would have been allowed to be that simple nor remain unchanged for 2 years. But whatever.

• It’s also pretty cringe that Bryce freed Lele just for her to die…………..

• Why is Jesiba’s shop impenetrable (the building and cameras) until it’s convenient for it not to be…I mean it sounded like nothing could break into her building or the cameras but then… Micah just easily waltzed in there and Declan easily hacked into the security cameras….makes no sense but okayyyyyyy…..

• ....or about how the dog can teleport and undo locks until once again it's convenient for him not to be able to so she can dramatically save the day (look I also have issues with her valuing her pet's life over Lele's in that scene...also isn't the dog supposed to be like terrifying, it could've fought while her and Lele got out. not really sure how the water which delayed him like two seconds helped more than her dog would've....look, i love pets and i don't want him to die but i don't want Lele to die either!)

• Bryce and Hunt literally never have a talk about everything???? Like I get the world almost ended but neither of them had a thought like I know we need to talk about everything that happened on the boat. About if his love for Shahar trumps his love for me. But that can wait… Because those were all fears she had before but now vanished???? I get not wanted to have verbal talk but a thought from Bryce would’ve been nice.

• How can you run, carry a sword, and shoot a gun all at the same time? Still trying to figure out the logistics of that all....

• Why is SJM's adult book the least smutty thing she has written so far!?!?!?!?

• The love saves everyone and everything line is so fucking cheesy I can’t.

My Overall Feelings:

• The book couldn’t choose a plot. Did it want to be a crime book? Did it want to be ACOMAF? Who the fuck knows.

• This would have worked better as a TV series than a book. Especially that scene where Bryce is trying to save the city and everyone is just watching it happen on the jumbo screen at the summit. In book form it was just….weird….and felt disruptive...and someone could've started flying to help out. Plus I like watching shows with characters like Bryce but hate reading books with characters like her if that makes sense...

• Also if the summit is just between the leaders of CC then why did Sadriel have to be there? Why does it happen only every 10 years? Why does it have to take place outside of the city if no other leaders from other places are present?

• Why don’t we get a map of all of the other countries that were mentioned?

• This book was wayyyyyy too long. It would have been much better if it was reduced to 500ish pages instead.

• Also the character’s flip-flopped with their character development way too much. It wasn’t consistent.

• This is definitely one of the better SJM book’s I’ve read, but it won’t be one that I’ll reread. It is too long with too many boring bits in the middle.

• But hey! If you love SJM then you’ll probably love this book…

Content Warnings and Trigger Warnings: restricted eating, self-harm, drug use, alcohol consumption, implied rape, mentions of abusive relationships, suicidal thoughts, depression, emesis, slavery, terrorist attacks, grief, gun violence, death, murder, violence, torture

View all my reviews

[punainenpuolukka]

Oh, the Thing with the Ghosts, the Boys, and the Car?

This is a weird one, a confession of sorts. A confession that I might come to regret come tomorrow (when I'll probably be watching the new episode). This time I truly can’t explain.

Part 3. I sort of like Bucklemming and I’m sorry about that

Look, I know that the overall consensus in this fandom, which is so divided and gets up on arms with the drop of a hat, is that Bucklemming is the worst. Even I think, say, and joke how Bucklemming is the worst. Repeatedly. Before and after a Bucklemming episode I think “Eh, it’s Bucklemming”. Recently, when season 12 reruns aired on TV here, around 2 am or so with double episodes to boot, I remember thinking that there was something deeply wrong with the episode and I couldn’t understand why it was so awkward and painful to watch, until I checked who wrote it, it was Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Lemming of course, and suddenly it all made so much more sense. People are reminded to lower their expectations before their episodes just so that there would be minimum amount of (collective) disappointment. We all know the drill pretty well, don’t you think?

The thing is, I don’t hate Bucklemming episodes. In fact, I quite like some of them.

No, don’t get me wrong, quite a few of Bucklemming episodes are bad, just flat out bad, there’s no excuse, but I still don’t hate any of them. They tend to be a bit thin on the subtext, they are funny but the humour is based on awkward situations and stereotypes stretched to extremes. A lot of things happen in a short amount of time both to their detriment as well as their advantage, as sometimes the story doesn’t have time to breath but at least it keeps the audience at the edge of their seat. Also, the revelations in their episodes are liked dropped anvils and so exceptionally blunt there is very little room for interpretation, which I occasionally appreciate since I’m dumb. Just so dumb. Quite like many Bucklemming episodes. In addition, even the episodes that I would consider to be poor in quality for them (and Supernatural as whole) tend to have at least one good thing, even if it sometimes is just the premise, which admittedly might not be their doing. Nonetheless, the overall quality of Bucklemming episodes I’ll watch them gladly, maybe with a little less attention than normal, but regardless for me my love for the whole show overrides cringe of their episodes any day. 

And Bucklemming episodes are plenty cringey. Like the bad kind of cringe that makes me wonder that even if the they wrote the episode, there were several people taking part of making the episode that went “I guess it’s okay”, and still nobody mentioned that maybe this is actually the worst idea (I’m referring to 8.15 Man’s Best Friend with Benefits, as in the one with witches and their familiars,  which writing-wise is not the worst, plotwise pretty solid if I recall, but the final product is just, um, calling it highly questionable is far too kind). Sometimes Bucklemming in combination with some directors (yes, I’m especially talking about Robert Singer, we all know why) somehow conjure up a legitimately bad episode of Supernatural consisting of multiple minor things that alone are not that bothersome but together ruin everything. You know, like killing a beloved character in a way that is not only remarkably horrific and cruel but also unnecessary, which leads to the question am I talking about Kevin, Charlie, or maybe Eileen? These episodes are the ones that make me ask “why, just why”, but I also tend to forget the truly terrible stuff pretty much by the end of the episode. It’s generally not important, or more accurately, the execution of it is not important, so I just don’t think about it unless someone mentions it. However the truly terrible stuff is discussed a lot. Of course it should be, critiquing is very important part of media consumption, but even then, sometimes it’s better to just let go. Just forget and move on.

Now that I’ve discussed why Bucklemming is bad, which, let’s be honest, was not necessary at all since we all know and didn’t even touch their creepy, rapey stuff, but I’m very insecure and felt I needed to agree with the consensus before I bring up my positive outlook on things and insist that not only Buckner and Ross-Lemming are capable writers, some of their episodes are not only very enjoyable but also actually quite good. Of course enjoyability is subjective, so there’s no guarantee that others think the same. Unfortunately, there is no time to go through all Bucklemming episodes, and not all of them are worth going through at all, since most of them are just ‘meh’, but regardless, I’d like to present some of my favourites.

8.03 Heartache

This is the episode of Supernatural I actively spend thinking the most. And it’s a lot. It highlights the tragedy of immortality and how you cannot really create connections with others because eventually they will wither away and die but you remain the same. Of course in this case the immortal Mayan athlete also had to sacrifice human hearts in exchange for his immortality, which his wife knew and seemed to accept so that they could be together, which raises the question of how she could close her eyes for so long to the atrocities her husband committed just so they could be together since she didn’t seem malicious at all, nor was she resentful of her husband taking his own life so suddenly. She seemed almost relieved that she didn’t have to worry for him anymore, and when her time comes she could rest in peace. Curiously, her husband was not really allowed to rest as the people who had gotten the organ transplants from him sort of continued his life and wanted to be immortal like him and get all the other benefits he had. It’s so tragic and twisted that what is the greatest gift you can give to a stranger corrupts them and what was supposed to save their lives eventually ruins them. The whole episode is a surprisingly original take on the immortal lover trope, and it doesn’t hurt that it does the patented Supernatural trick of mirroring single episode characters with the main ones, this time connecting the immortal athlete who died and Cas, also sort of immortal who “died” recently. 

10.16 Paint it Black

This episode is a very curious episode as whole. In a sense, it’s sort of average MoW episode with relatively strong plot but it has the sort of escalation that I appreciate greatly. I mean we’ve had so many vengeful ghosts that target the same kind of demographic, but there is something in this episode that tickles my fancy just right. Also, I cannot really describe the weird joyous horror when the ghost nun in the past cuts her finger so that her blood and bone can be ground up and used in her portrait. She seemed to do it with such glee that it’s a wonder that the painter didn’t see all the red flags in her behaviour (though he was an Italian man, an artist and full of himself, maybe girls cut off their body parts of for him nonstop). It was such a delight. In addition, Dean, who at the time had the Mark of Cain and was once again spiralling deeper into depression and desperation, visits confession and reveals that now that he is about to die (yeah, that doesn’t seem to stick, but I digress) he regrets not experiencing things perhaps for the first time. And we still don’t know what those things are.

An honorary mention goes to episode 1.13 Route 666, which is not really one of my favourites, but I also remember very little of it, other than the general description of it, which amuses me to no end: It’s the racist truck episode. It sounds so dumb, and it was, of course, but I have a fond memories of it regardless. Or maybe fond feelings since barely remember what happens in it. 

So, I like Bucklemming, sort of and on occasion, and I don’t think everything the dreadful duo writes is worth the derision they get. I’ve learnt to live with them, maybe it would help if others tried to live with them too, and accommodate their expectations and try to find the good things in the episodes instead of focusing on the bad ones. And if the Bucklemming episodes are a disappointment then they are. Move on. Life is already a disappointment, 40 minutes of disappointment won’t make it worse. Also, I really like the word ‘Bucklemming’, so that’s a plus, and a reason why repeat it constantly. Though I still wish that Bucklemming would just stop with the creeps.

[la-appel-du-vide]

08•21•21

Had a full adventure day with Kena this weekend, which was much needed! It's been so long since we've gotten to hang out!

We started with an aura reading, which I've never tried before! We went to a guy who works out of Orem, and he took a photo and did a bio scan of our hand to get a reading of our aura and to see how balanced each of our chakras are. I generally don't put much faith into these kinds of things, but I was surprised by how accurate my results were, especially for someone who doesn't know me at all.

I had a strong orange/yellow aura, meaning I tend to be adventurous, analytical, detail oriented, logical, structured.... basically nailed it right on the head there. He could guess that I tend to get stuck in my head at times, and that my stress balance isn't ideal. He did give some good advice, regardless of how much I trust the whole concept. It is interesting that of all the colors, mine actually reflected who I am as a person.

After that, we went to Ghost Grocery - a Lonely Ghost clothing store by Indy Blue, one of Kena's favorite influencers. It was super cute - a clothing store disguised as a grocery store - and we picked out some cute things. It seems her two mottos are "I Love You Say It Back" or "Text Me When You Get Home." But she has a lot of cute stuff, and even a pickleball club! We've been wanting to shop there for a while, so that was good.

Then we had a reunion dinner with Baylee, which was odd??? She reached out to us and wanted to all get together, and for the most part it went well. I really did love the friendship we had, and still hold a place in my heart for all of those memories - so it's fun to reminisce. I don't think anything will come of that, but there's nothing wrong with a quick dinner every few years haha.

Finally, we did an adventure challenge, for the first time in FOREVER. This one was called "Lip Un-Locked." And it was awful. The "flirty" adventure page is just not for us.

We had to be handcuffed together and experience life that way for a bit. This part was fun. We went to Target, got Starbucks, struggled to run in the rain, struggled HARD to get in and out of the car, got gas... so many funny looks, but it was actually a fun experience. The catch? In order to earn the key to unlock the handcuffs, you have to get a stranger to kiss you, on the cheek or more! Kena wanted to ask a girl who looked nice in hopes that she'd kiss her on the cheek and be done with it. But the girl Kena asked was literally so awkward - "Why did you even come here for this??" And then eventually broke down and kissed her on the hand after awkward silence for like 30 seconds. AWFUL. I have secondhand embarrassment and the memory is still making me cringe. Not a fun one if you're in a committed relationship hahah. In retrospect, we should have rolled into a bar - drunk people are less weird about this kind of stuff than a retail associate, clearly.

Ended the night watching LOL, because Miley, duh.

[andyfire122]

The first meeting

She sighed as she leaned against the wall. Her dress was uncomfortable and everyone was being stuffy and fake.

So it was a usual night going to one of her Aunt’s parties.  After the woman took them in after their parent’s death this had been a regular thing.

Neither twin liked them but as long as they were living with their Aunt Grace, they had no choice.

At least we can take turns being the wallflower during these events. Only have to wait a few more years before this is done.

She took a few more sips of her punch as she leaned against the wall. At least Wilson seemed to be doing well out there. 

She still kept an eye on things regardless. She still had some time before she switched with Wilson. At least he was being polite in his manners.

“If only this night could go faster.”

“You're preaching the choir here.”

She quickly turned to the source of the voice. There sitting on the table right next to her was a boy that looked right about her age. What was most noticeable was his long black hair that was kept up neat for this occasion.

Though the freckles are kinda cute..No Ronni stop that thinking!

He looked at her with a very neutral expression. It was very clear he didn’t want to be here just as much as she did.

“So what are you in for?” he asked. Asking like they just got arrested was a pretty good analogy.

She took another sip of her punch and returned her attention to Wilson. “Aunt with dreams being bigger then she is. How about you?”

“Mandatory due to the family business.”

She gave a small laugh. “If only things are so simple.”

“How about watching a little brother before he does something stupid?”

She gives him a look. “It’s currently my turn to watch and make sure my dear twin doesn’t fall on his face.”

For the first time in this night, he smiled. “Well, here’s to watching siblings.” He takes a sip of his own punch.

“So do I need to guess your name?” he asked.

She puts her drink down on the table and stands in front of him. “Veronica Winifred Higgsbury.” She extends her hand to him. Even for a short time, he did make this time better.

He takes it and shakes. “Reese Fendermen. Yeah I know, the name is stupid.”

“Nah, I kinda like it. I’ll see you when it’s my turn. Keep my spot warm when I get back.”

She goes to switch off with Wilson.

Maybe this party won’t be so bad this time.

000000

As she returned for her final turn as the wallflower she found Reese exactly where he was before. Though he looked a bit nervous this time.

she actually takes a seat at the table this time. “I see you kept my spot warm. What’s eating you, Reese?”

He sighs. “My mother’s requiring that I dance at least once.”

She sighs with only a ping of jealousy. If things were different maybe she could have had her own mother make her do stuff. 

No use in hoping for what’s not there. Just focus on the right now.

“Well, I don’t see the issue here.”

He glares. “Does it look like I want to go out there?”

“Well, if it’s only a dance I think you're fine. Though traditionally you're supposed to ask the lady to dance first.”

He gives her a look. “We just met and your willing to dance?”

she shrugged. “Why not? As long as I keep my brother insight I don’t mind.”

Reese gets up and extends his hand. “Well then, for the sake of this night and the sake of my sanity. Would you care to dance milady Veronica?”

She takes it. For once this might be a dance that wasn’t forced. “I do believe I shall.”

As per request, they kept in sight of their usual targets. 

For people who just met that night they ended up dancing like they had always been. It was nice for the both of them. It may have been for only a moment but Veronica just felt like a regular teen for once.

The moment only stopped when they heard the sound of someone being knocked onto a table.

“Now all I was saying is that that kinda logic is what makes brutes in society.”

Oh no, that sounds like Will!

She quickly rushes over to find Wilson on the ground and another that looked close to their age about ready to deck him.

“So your saying I’m an idiot hu?!”

Wilson gets up with a huff and before the other guy could get closer she steps in front.

“He might not be calling you an idiot but I am for starting a fight in the middle of a party.”

“Oh, so you're getting your girl to fight your battles for you!” he yelled.

The twins both looked at each other in confusion. That was actually a first for them. “He’s my twin brother genius.” People began to snicker at the other boy’s mistake. Even Wilson thought it was funny.

The other guy was turning red with anger. “Fine, both of you it is then!”

Though the impact never came as Reese came and blocked the punch.

Veronica pouted. “I could have handled it you know.”

He smirked. “Yeah but considering it’s my brother that’s causing the mess it’s more my thing.” He turns his glare to the other boy. “I think we’re done here, Anthony.”

“But the weird haired guy started it!”

“Only because you couldn’t understand simple science,” whispered Wilson. Only Veronica heard him and she snickered at his jab.

“Plus then picking a fight with a lady. The shame of it all.”

Though if your bother didn’t stop you I would have knocked you right out.

“Yeah and I’m finishing it. Let’s go.” He grabs his brother by the arm to pull him off. Not before stopping to give Veronica a glance. “It was nice to meet you, Veronica.”

She waves as he drags his brother off.

“You like him don’t you.”

She turns beet red and turns to her bother. “What, no! I only just met Reese today.”

Wilson just smiles. “Oh, so his name is Reese. Good to know since you looked a little on the happy side dancing like that.”

She just buries her face in her hands. It wasn’t everyday Wilson could tease his sister like this so he was enjoying the moment. 

“It’s not like that and you know it! I was just doing him a favor with one dance.”

���Don’t lie you want to see him again.” He can read his sister like a book. She enjoyed the other boy’s company. She just needs to admit it herself.

It was just one dance. One really good dance. Still, this isn’t a fairy tale. Reese was just a nice change of pace from the usual. That’s all it was.

“CHILDREN GET OVER HERE THIS INSTANT!”

They both cringed at their Aunt’s booming voice yelling. 

“Better face the music Will.”

He sighed. “Great stars and atoms, how does she even get that loud?”

Well, the moment’s over. Time to face whatever she has thought up that’s our fault. Still, if Reese is going to be at these things then maybe the parties won’t be so bad.

000000

(Well, I got a comment wondering about Vincent’s father so as part of this past sinipit here he is. The first moment Veronica met the man who would someday be her husband and the father of her child. Reese was a good sort.

This is Cannon to don’t starve soul weaver. I had no idea what to call this XD)

[waltsluckyrabbit]

[Ch. 3] - Epic Mickey 3: Sealed in Ink

(a collab by waltsluckyrabbit and 09alih [on DeviantART])

"Then what happened? What? What?"

Mickey grinned at the group of bunny children, who were all quivering with anticipation as they watched him with pricked ears and wide, eager eyes.

"Then, just when we thought it was done..." he said, holding his hands in front of him like claws. "RARGH!"

He lunged forward, making the bunnies squeal in fear and delight, a few of the youngest ones curling up into balls.

"The dragon bot burst out of the lava, its tail whipping out two huge sawblades whirrin’ so fast, we could barely see ‘em! And then—"

"Your uncle screamed and hid while I finished the job with my trusty remote!" Oswald cut in.

Mickey turned and glared at him. "Excuse me, but I think I was yellin' at you to get your tail out of the way before it sliced your ears off."

"Funny, that's not how I recall it," Oswald said, smirking. "You were the one that nearly got your scrawny tail cut off."

Mickey snorted. "Considerin' I had to run right under the thing, I was lucky it wasn't my head."

Oswald smirked. "And whose luck do you have to thank for that, I wonder?"

Mickey rolled his eyes, then smirked as well. "Say, did I ever show you kids those pictures of your dad when that ghost pranked us at the Lonesome Manor?"

Oswald’s face went red. "You said there wasn’t any film in the camera!"

Just then, Gus warped in, much to Oswald’s obvious relief. "Oh, there you two are!" the gremlin said. "I was just talking to Jamface on Mean Street and he’s heard something."

Mickey stood and stretched his back. "Well, sorry, kids," he said, grinning at them, "but I guess we gotta go do some investigatin'."

The bunnies all drooped in disappointment, but nodded obediently.

Oswald smiled at them and patted the nearest one on the head. "Why don’t you all go see if Moody’s got any stories?" The bunnies oohed and raced off toward the other side of OsTown.

Oswald and Mickey then headed to Mean Street, making their way toward the Windmill on the outskirts of Mean Street, where Jamface had taken up residence. As they passed through Mean Street, most of the residents either waved or said a few words of greeting as usual, but some of them edged away at their approach and either smiled nervously or avoided eye contact.

Oswald frowned as Mickey looked around in confusion. "Wonder what they’re all edgy about?" Mickey muttered to himself.

Raucous, all-too-familiar laughter burst out nearby. "What? Ya ain’t figured it out?"

Oswald and Mickey cringed, then turned as Big Bad Pete lumbered up from Town Hall, smirking.

"Oh, brother, what’s he want?" Oswald grumbled as Mickey frowned. Pete’s smirk grew even wider as he reached down and gave the mouse’s arm a hard pinch.

"Ouch!" Mickey snapped as a few drips of ink rose from it. "Hey, what’s th’ big idea?!"

Pete snorted. "Hah! A lil’ birdie been singin’ around here, see? Sayin’ there’s weird stuff goin’ on. And ya think folks ain’t heard about your lil’... er... problem?" Mickey glared at him as Pete narrowed his eyes with a nasty grin. "N’ we all know what that meant last time..." The mouse’s face dropped and Pete guffawed again. "Oh, I’m sorry!" he said, sarcastically apologetic. "I seem t’ have hit a nerve!"

Mickey's fists clenched, small ink drops beginning to rise from him. "Stop it."

"Lay off, Pete," Oswald said, stepping in front of Mickey.

The heavyset toon sneered. "Aww, ain't that cute? Our fearless leader stickin' up for his Blot buddy."

"I'm warnin' ya, Pete," Oswald growled, balling up his fists.

Pete laughed again. "Or else what?"

"Or else I'll put a dent in that stupid grin of yours. Hope ya have a good dentist."

Pete snorted but still took a step back, just to be safe. "Huh! Still lettin' the big guys pick your fights for ya, mouse? Not so big now, though."

Oswald took a step toward him. "Oh, I'll show ya a fight—" However, before he could make a move, he felt a tug on his arm.

"Forget about it, Oswald," Mickey told him, squinting angrily at Pete. "Let’s just get goin'. We’re wastin’ time." Mickey then turned and walked on as Pete laughed again.

"Oh, sure! Don’ let all us normal folks hold ya back, Mr. Bigshot Hero!"

Immediately after that, Mickey heard a loud "YOWWWW!" followed by a thud that shook the ground. He stopped and whirled around to see Pete jittering on the ground, sparks jumping off him, while Oswald pocketed his remote.

"Right. Let's be on our way then," Oswald said, walking over to Mickey with a slight smirk. Mickey couldn’t help returning it, but remained silent as they continued on.

Soon, a French-accented voice rang out. "Ah! Mickey, Oswald, zere you are!"

"Yeah, we heard ya saw somethin' suspicious?" said Oswald.

"Ah, yes!" the gremlin said. "Well, you zee, I was in Bog Easy to get some parts for ze Windmill and zere were Spatters running around! Zey have never left Blot Alley before, and ze residents cannot explain it."

Mickey frowned. "Spatters, huh...?"

"Did they seem... more aggressive than usual?" Oswald asked.

"Err... I’m afraid I’m not sure," Jamface said, looking sheepish. "I only saw them from a distance."

"In other words, you got scared and left," Gus said, smirking. Mickey and Oswald snickered as Jamface glared.

"Well, guess we better check out Bog Easy," Oswald said.

"Right," Mickey replied, then smiled. "Bet Donald’ll have plenty to say about whatever’s goin’ on."

Oswald smirked. "I bet."

As they followed Animatronic Donald's 'directions' through the backstreets of Bog Easy, they noted how eerily quiet it was, the only sound being the echoing of their footsteps. It was a bit unnerving, to say the least, as if something could jump out of the shadows at any moment.

Mickey suddenly let out a loud squeak of fright as something yanked his tail. Then, hearing Oswald's chuckling next to him, Mickey let out an irritated huff and rolled his eyes. "Can we focus here?"

"Sure thing, Squeaky Toy." Oswald snickered.

"At least my tail doesn’t fall off when ya pull it," he said, raising a brow.

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"Oh, sure," Mickey said casually, clearly trying not to laugh. "I've always wanted to misplace my foot and hop around on one leg all day."

Oswald held up a finger. "Actually, detachment is a pretty useful ability. For example..." Oswald detached one of his ears and whacked Mickey in the head with it.

"Ouch! Hey!"

The rabbit merely snickered in response, prompting a sigh of annoyance from the mouse.

"Y'know, we still got a job to do," Mickey said, rubbing the sore spot.

Just then, a loud growling sound interrupted them. They barely glanced up in time as a vicious Spatter dove at them from the roof, baring its teeth.

"Watch out!" Mickey yelled as he yanked Oswald out of the way, the Spatter narrowly missing them both. They immediately pulled out their individual weapons and assumed fighting stances.

"Try an’ get a shot! I’ll distract ‘im!" Mickey exclaimed before racing around to the Spatter’s other side and spraying some Paint. "Hey, ugly! Over here!"

The Spatter turned toward Mickey and charged at him wildly. As Mickey dodged, Oswald fired off a number of electric sparks at it. However, the Spatter was too quick and none of Oswald's attacks made contact, save for one stray spark that accidentally hit a different target.

The mouse yelped as his fur frizzed up with static. "Ouch! Hey, watch it!"

Oswald couldn't help but snort at him. "Sorry, this thing's too quick!"

Brushing the static off, Mickey leapt over the Spatter to dodge another attack. Then, thinking quickly, he Thinned out the patch of street the Spatter was standing on and immediately Painted it back in, leaving the Spatter with one foot stuck in the ground.

Before they could celebrate, however, a hissing sound came from behind them. Mickey whirled around to meet the glazing red eyes of four more Spatters.

"Yipes!" he yelped as he leaped back. "Os, look out! There’s more of ‘em!"

Three of the Spatters charged at him, and Mickey was quickly too preoccupied to say any more. He heard a zapping sound and smiled grimly; Oswald must have taken out the other one. He turned his attention back to the remaining three and kept dodging as he shot Paint to slow them down.

Suddenly, one Spatter veered sharply to the left. Mickey knocked back the other two and whirled around to counteract. Unfortunately, this proved too much of a push for his still-recovering body and he stumbled. With a hiss, the Spatter lunged and its claws slashed out.

"AGH!" The brush clattered to the ground as Mickey staggered backward and fell, clutching a hand to his side.

"Mickey!" Oswald immediately leaped over to cover him. He unleashed a forcefield of energy around them, stunning the remaining Spatters. Gus zoomed over to help Mickey as Oswald stood firm in front of them, glaring at the remaining Spatters as they began twitching wildly and garbling. After a few moments, they flopped down on their faces.

Oswald let out a sigh of relief, then turned. "You all right there, soldier?"

Mickey grunted as he started to stand, still holding his side. "I... I think so..."

Oswald hooked his arms under Mickey’s to help him up. Once he was standing, Oswald lifted Mickey's hand from the spot and frowned as he examined the deep wound that was dripping black ink.

"Yikes, he got ya pretty good."

Mickey winced and nodded as ink drops started to rise from his body. "I c-can patch it up, though..." He started to reach down for the brush only to have a sharp wave of pain shoot through his side. He groaned again and started to fall, but Oswald caught him.

"Easy. I don't think ya don’t have the energy for that," he said. "There’s a Paint Fountain just down the street, though. It ought t’ take care of that. C'mon."

Mickey gave a nod and started down the street, leaning on Oswald for support.

Oswald turned to Gus, who was fluttering nearby with a concerned look. "Gus, can ya grab the brush?"

"Right away!" the gremlin said, saluting. He zoomed over and picked up the brush with both hands.

"Thanks, Gus," Oswald said as he helped Mickey over to the fountain.

"Unh..." Mickey suddenly moaned, cringing. The few ink drops rising from his body increased, making both Gus and Oswald frown with worry. Oswald quickly lifted Mickey up onto the edge of the fountain, then cupped some Paint into his hands and poured it over Mickey’s wound. Mickey couldn’t stop himself from wincing at the sting, but it faded as the Paint sank in and the gash closed. Letting out a sigh of relief, he sat up and gave his concerned friends a grateful smile. "Thanks." As he spoke, the ink drops stopped rising.

Oswald smiled. "Sure."

Smiling in relief, Gus flew over and handed back the brush.

"Thanks, Gus," Mickey said as he took it and flexed his arm, testing its mobility. He leaned back, stretching, but accidentally leaned too far back and lost his balance. Oswald tried to catch him, but failed, and they both fell into the Paint fountain with a splash. Gus rolled his eyes as Mickey grinned sheepishly, his teeth and round ears the only recognizable features. "Heh... well, that’s one way t’ stay healthy."

The blue blob that vaguely resembled a rabbit gave him an annoyed splash. Mickey grinned and returned it before they both climbed out of the fountain, shaking the Paint off their fur.

"Shall we move on now?" Gus asked, smirking slightly.

"Sure, if Captain Clumsy here doesn't keep slowin’ us down," Oswald remarked as he spun his ears, sending the Paint flying off them and splatting in Mickey's face.

"Yeah, well..." the mouse said in a casual voice as he wiped the Paint off, "next time I see a crazy, rabid Spatter, I’ll tell it not to slice me open."

"Speakin' of which..." Oswald glanced down the street at the still-unconscious Spatters. "We should probably get those guys off the street while they're still out."

Gus nodded as he flew forward. "I believe Sparks still has some of the glass cages the Beetleworx used," he said. "It should hold them."

Mickey placed the brush behind him, gripping it with his tail. "Okay, then, let’s get ‘em over there before they come to."

Oswald thought for a moment, then pulled out his remote and set up an electric force field around the unconscious Spatters. He then hid his remote in a nearby planter so that the force field would remain up.

"There, that should hold 'em in case they wake up."

"Good idea," Mickey said, grinning.

"We'll hafta hurry before the battery drains, though." Oswald then shot Mickey a playful smirk before pushing him back and running toward the hub of Bog Easy. "Race ya!"

"Oh, no, ya don’t!" Mickey yelled as he took off after him, leaving an unimpressed looking Gus behind.

The gremlin sighed. "Something tells me this is going to be a very long day."

As Mickey emerged onto the boardwalk of Bog Easy, he glanced around in confusion. He could've sworn Oswald had been ahead of him. All of a sudden, something leapt off a nearby roof and pounced on his back, knocking him to the ground.

"Gotcha!"

Mickey yelped in surprise before realizing who it was, then they both laughed.

"Ahem." The two looked up to see Gus waiting patiently in front of the workshop, a slight, teasing grin on his face. "What took you?"

As they entered the workshop, Gus fluttered ahead of them to greet his fellow gremlin. "Sparks, good to see you. Do you still have those cages you were studying?"

Gremlin Sparks nodded a greeting to Mickey and Oswald as they walked up. "Yes," he said, looking slightly confused. "But what for?"

Oswald smirked slightly. "We ran into some friends on the way here," he said.

Mickey touched the faded scar on his side. "They weren’t in a very good mood, either," he added.

Sparks nodded, moving toward a nearby door. "They’re right in here," he said, opening it. "And I’ve got something to carry them with too, so once they get loaded, we can get them down there in no time."

"Here, we’ll give ya a hand," Mickey said as he and Oswald walked over. Gremlin Sparks wheeled over a little trolley while they approached the glass cages.

Oswald attempted to lift one, but with little success. "Unnf... Alright, we're gonna need to lift it together," Oswald said.

"Right," Mickey agreed with a nod. Then they both bent down and got into position. "On three. One, two, three!"

Grunting, they heaved the glass cage up and onto the trolley. Repeating the process, they loaded up all the cages and headed back to Bog Easy. To everyone’s relief, the Blotlings were still out for the count.

"The remote must’ve fried their circuits," Gus said thoughtfully.

"We still better get these little guys off the street," Mickey said. "Even if they’re fried, it might still unsettle folks."

Oswald nodded as he went over to one of the Blotlings and dragged it into one of the cages. Mickey did the same with the second Blotling while Gus took care of the third.

"That's all of 'em," Oswald said.

Mickey frowned slightly as he glanced at the cages. "What should we do with 'em?"

"Turn 'em over to the Doc?" Oswald suggested, putting a hand to his chin in though. "They're part machine, right? Maybe they have some data on their source."

"Actually, that's a pretty good idea," Mickey said, tapping his chin. "It’s probably our best bet to find who’s makin’ em."

Oswald puffed out his chest proudly. "Thank you." To that, Mickey merely rolled his eyes.

"I can warp back to Mean Street," Gus volunteered. "The Mad Doctor has rebuilt his hoverpad, so he can come and get them."

"Alright, sounds good," said Oswald.

"Be back in a jiffy!" Gus replied, giving Oswald a salute before teleporting away.

Back at the lab, Oswald and Mickey hopped off the flying machine while the Doc pressed some controls, causing the claws to release the cages.

The Mad Doctor stepped off his hoverpad and moved to the exam table, adjusting some equipment around it. "I’ve extracted some data from the first Spatter, but many of the electronics were damaged. However, with this many..." He grinned over at the glass cages. "I can surely gather much more data."

The trio glanced at each other and smiled proudly, glad their work had paid off.

"Now, then..." the Mad Doctor said, cracking his knuckles. "To work!"

"Do you think it’ll work?" Gus muttered as they watched.

"I sure hope so," Oswald said.

Mickey nodded, giving a sigh. "I just hope we get some hints soon. Runnin' around without knowin' what you're lookin' for is kind of exhausting."  

Oswald nodded in agreement. "Well, whoever or whatever is behind this has to show up eventually, and when they do, we'll give 'em a what-for!" He held up his fist.

"You bet!" Mickey said, grinning.

Oswald glanced back over at the Mad Doctor. "Got anythin' yet, Doc?"

"Hmm..." the Doctor mumbled as he examined the X-rays of the disabled Spatters. Finally, he turned and blinked. "Ah, you're still here?"

Oswald looked at Gus, who shrugged.

"Well, good... I have some information," the Doctor continued. "Bad news first... I'm afraid the circuits are too damaged to extract a full signal, so I cannot track them to their point of origin."

Oswald and Mickey both slumped.

"What?!" Oswald whined. "After all that?"

"Do ya need us to catch a new one?" Mickey asked.

"No, not at all," the Mad Doctor replied. "With their increased aggression and damage capability, attempting to capture a live one would be far too dangerous. And there is good news. While I can't distinguish their prime point of origin, there is enough to find their secondary ones."

He pressed a button on his large console and a map of Wasteland appeared on-screen, with small dots blinking at four different locations.

"The Blotlings are being distributed through each of these areas," he said, waving a gloved hand across the map. "Clearly by generators of some sort."

Oswald put a finger to his chin in thought. "So, we need to shut those generators down."

"Exactly!" the Mad Doctor replied. "And if you can retrieve data from each of them, I can certainly use it to find the location of the main generator."

"So, they're each like a piece of the puzzle, huh?" Mickey said thoughtfully.

"But how are we gonna extract the data?" Oswald asked.

"I included data storage capability among the updates to your remote," the Mad Doctor said, looking quite proud of his foresight. "All you need do is flip that switch there and it will go into scanning mode. The information will automatically transfer here and I’ll get to work decoding it."

Oswald flipped the switch on the side of his remote and a radar image appeared on the screen. "Huh, neat-o. Thanks, Doc," Oswald said, impressed.

"Yes, yes... now you’d best be on your way! No time to waste! We must find out who's behind this as soon as possible!" The Mad Doctor gave them both a push toward the door.

"Okay, we’re goin’, we’re goin’!" Mickey said as he and Oswald hurried out, Gus following.

"Where shall we start?" the gremlin asked.

Oswald pressed some buttons on his remote, pulling up a map. "It looks like I can track the location of the generators on here. Let's start with the one in Ventureland."

"Right then, lads," Gus said, pushing up his sleeves. "Let’s move."

Next

Previous

Index

[myndopeus]

you give me something to think about (chapter 4)

ao3 link in bio (idk if tumblr is still hiding external links)

Summary: Trini has no plans for the future, no idea of what she’s going to do after she leaves school. All that’s left is to enjoy the last year she has left.

And oh, what a year it will be.

The Slowburn Hogwarts AU that no one asked for.

Trini turns and watches the early blue light of the morning creep through the window. She rubs groggily at her eyes, looking at her clock again, watching the second hand tick past. It reads 6:07. One of those days, I guess.

She quietly gets out of bed and gets dressed, careful not to wake any of the other girls. She decides that sitting in the common room trying to work would probably make her feel even worse, so she tiredly creeps quietly out, hoping that the castle doors won’t be locked.

Luckily enough, they aren’t, and she steps out, the dewy morning air cooling her skin. She shivers a little, wraps her robes tighter around herself, and starts walking. She’s not really thinking about where she’s going, just focused on putting one foot in front of the other, hoping the rhythm will drown out the thoughts in her head. When she finally pays attention to her surroundings, she’s somehow ended up near the lake. The memory of that day in detention surfaces, and she suddenly feels a little more awake.

The castle looks strangely blue in the light, much like how Trini is feeling. The cloudy sky filters the sunlight that reflects off of the lake. Even the green grass looks strangely grey. She chalks it up to her shitty mood and walks, keeping a wary eye out for doxies.

She practically jumps out of her skin when a blurry shape darts across her path. She fumbles with her wand, her mind completely blanking on spells. Luckily, the animal isn’t one of ill intent, just a rabbit. She places a hand over her racing heart, breathing heavily. Suddenly, a much larger shape swerves out from behind a tree, and she yelps. The figure stumbles back in surprise, letting out a similar yell, and she realizes she recognizes the messy black hair.

“The fuck, Taylor?”

“Trini?” His face crinkles in confusion, before shaking his head. “Whatever, one sec,” he says, running past her.

She turns, confused and mildly offended, to see Zack cast out a barrier charm. The sprinting rabbit collides with the spell with a mildly audible thump, bouncing off and immediately dashing in another direction. Zack sends out another spell that hits the grass, missing its target. After a few more missed shots, he swears to himself before simply diving at the animal and grabbing it. He skids a few feet before getting up, the rabbit in his hands.

“Son of a bitch.  Anyhow, what are you doing here? Aren’t you usually on the pitch around this time?”

She simply stares at him as he tries to restart the conversation. “So we’re not gonna address how you were just chasing a rabbit?”

“Transfiguration assignment.”

“There must be some sort of law out there on manhandling animals. Even if it’s for school purposes.”

“Oh, no need to worry about this guy. I’m supposed to be turning him back into a statue.”

Trini hums in sympathy. “Reversing transformations is really weird, I still haven’t got the hang of it.”

“Yeah, I’m still figuring it out too. Really have to work on it though, because it’s a bit early in the year for me to be falling behind in class, especially with Quidditch and all that.” He shrugs like it isn’t a big deal, tucking the rabbit under his other arm.

It might be the early hour, or the lack of sleep, but Trini finds herself speaking before she fully finishes her thought. “If you want, I could help you out. I mean,” she stutters slightly, “I still need to work on it too, so it might be good if we, y’know, practiced. Together.”

Zack blinks, clearly surprised. “Oh! Um, yeah. Yeah that… that sounds good.”

“I kind of owe you anyways, for the quidditch training and stuff…” She trails off awkwardly.

Thankfully, they don’t stand in silence for too long. The clanging of the bells draws their attention, startling them both. They both speak at the same time.

“I should probably- ”

“That’s my cue-”

Trini cringes internally. She fires a quick “see you later” to Zack before turning and walking briskly back to the castle. She hears him call out as she’s leaving.

“Later, Crazy Girl!”

* * *

Something bounces off her head, jolting her awake. Trini’z eyes shoot around disorientedly, trying to make sense of everything. The garish color of the walls tells her that she’s in the Hufflepuff common room. She looks down, and sees a colorful paper tiger prowling on her books.

“Sorry about that.” She turns to the source of the voice walking towards her. It’s a tall boy with long, silvery hair that’s tied back. He reaches out, and the tiger jumps into his hand. “Didn’t mean to disturb you, especially since you looked so comfy.”

She chuckles bashfully. “It’s probably a good thing,” she says. “I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“We’ve all been there before, believe me.” He sticks his hand out. “I’m Ernie, by the way. And yes, that is my real name, short for Ernest, haha, it’s funny, I know.”

She smiles, shaking his hand. “Trini.” She looks at his face, and something clicks. “You’re on the quidditch team, aren’t you?             You’re, uh, a chaser? Keeper?”

“A little bit of everything, actually,” he laughs, eyes twinkling. “I move positions almost every year.”

“Wow. That’s pretty impressive.”

“Eh,” he shrugs. “Mostly I just round out whatever position needs filling.”

“Still, you must be pretty talented. Are you captain this year?”

“No, although I am technically Vice Captain, in an unofficial capacity. Jen’s captain, and she’s certainly got the passion for it, but she forgets a lot of the administrative stuff, which is where I come in. Speaking of quidditch,” he says, “I hate to be that person, but tryouts are on Saturday. Jen’s making me tell everyone I see,” he explains.

Trini nods. “Cool. I’ll be there.”

“You don’t have to say that just because I brought it up,” Ernie says quickly.

“No, really, I was planning on going anyways.”

“Oh. Oh! Great, then.” He smiles. “I’ll see you around, Trini.” He walks off, his long hair swishing behind him, the paper tiger crouching on his shoulder.

Trini glances at her watch and sees that it’s around the time that Zack’s last class gets out. She clears her things off the table, putting her books on her bed, before heading out to meet him.

She reaches the tree from before and sets her bag down. She stretches a little, looking around. It’s sunnier today, and the sun is hovering quite nicely over the water. One of the perks of living in a hidden castle in the middle of nowhere, she muses to herself. At least you get a good view.

“Sorry, had to go get him from Professor McGonagall.” Zack shuffles up to her, a cage tucked under his arm. “How’s your day been?” he asks, setting it down.

She shrugs. “Same as every other day. Did meet this guy with a sick ponytail though, Ernie.”

Zack’s eyes light up in recognition, a little smile on his face. “Oh, Ernie! Yeah they’re cool, great quidditch player. Also super hot as well.” He sighs a little dreamily, staring off into the distance for a moment.

Trini blinks, her brain frantically trying to process all of the information packed into the last few seconds. It’s not that any of that information bothers her, per se. She’s more shocked at the ease with which Zack mentions it.

She chooses to go for the least personal question. “They?”

“Oh yeah, Ernie uses they/them pronouns. They’re genderqueer.” Zack looks at her. “You’re cool with that, right?”

“Way to put me on the spot, but yeah, of course. And they’re cool with you telling me this?”

“Yeah, Ernie is out, they don’t mind. Did you guys talk about tryouts?”

She nods. “Yeah, they mentioned it and I told them I was going.”

“Ernie’s pretty high up in the hierarchy of the Hufflepuff team. Would have been a good time to use what little charm you have, butter ‘em up a little, earn some bonus points, eh? Eh?” Zack winks excessively at her, nudging her with his elbow.

“First of all, no,” she says, pushing him away. “I’m not quite as willing to embarrass myself like that as you are. And they’re not my type, anyways.”

“Well, what is your type, then?” Zack asks, and Trini freezes. Luckily Zack doesn’t seem to notice, he just watches her waiting for an answer. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know what to tell him.

Fortunately, a slight movement in her peripheral vision gives her a distraction.

“My type is someone who actually pays attention to what they’re doing,” she says, pointing over Zack’s shoulder at the escaping rabbit. He looks at the open cage, before cursing and setting off after the animal, Trini laughing at him as he scrambles.

* * *

“So did you always want to play quidditch?” Trini asks. They’ve been sitting there for a while, the rabbit between them as they took turns trying to cast the spell. Her back is leaning against the tree, and Zack is sprawled out on his side, his head propped up on his hand.

Zack tries the spell again, and the grass around the rabbit glows for a bit, but nothing happens. He sighs disappointedly.

“Actually, when I got here, I had no idea what quidditch was,” he says, and Trini pauses, her wand in the air. “There isn’t much opportunity to learn about that kind of stuff outside the wizarding world.”

Trini’s eyes widen. “Oh. You’re--”

“Yup. Muggleborn, 100%.” 

She nods. “Me too,” she says, and Zack’s eyes meet hers. “I just didn’t think…  I mean, you look so at home here, I thought that you were at least half-blood, or something.”

He shrugs, sitting up. “Yeah, well, wasn’t always like that. It was super awkward my first year, everything was really weird. It was my mom who suggested that I join quidditch, actually.” He chuckles, a look of fondness growing on his face. “The only thing she knows about it is that it’s a sport, but she kept insisting that I try and make friends somehow. Plus, it was a good outlet for all my nervous energy.”

Zack reaches out and gently strokes the rabbit, scratching the back of its neck a little. Trini watches him, a little surprised. She never would have guessed it, but it turns out that underneath all his loudness and bravado, Zack is actually a really nice guy.

“So what about you?” She starts, pulled out of her thoughts. Zack is looking at her, that air of openness still surrounding him. “How’d you adjust to all of this?” he asks, gesturing to the castle.

She doesn’t meet his eyes, reaching out to tentatively pat the rabbit instead. “Dunno, I guess I managed somehow,” she mumbles. She can’t bring herself to lie to Zack, not when he’d just been somewhat honest with her.

He raises an eyebrow, but to her relief, he doesn’t push her for a better answer. She takes a deep breath, concentrating, before carefully waving her wand and saying the incantation, making sure to enunciate.

The rabbit stops chewing, the grass around it glowing with a bright light. It rises, freezing into a pose on its hind feet, and Trini and Zack hold their breath in anticipation. A moment passes, then another, and then the light fades and the rabbit unfreezes, landing back on all fours. It continues chewing as if nothing had happened.

Zack groans, flopping onto his back. Trini closes her eyes, tilting her head back until it hits the tree. “Damn.”

“You’re rushing it,” a voice calls, and Trini opens her eyes to deliver some snarky response to whoever was butting into their business. Unfortunately, her voice seems to completely disappear for a second when she sees who it is.

Kimberly is walking towards them, and she is in a completely unreasonable state of undress, a towel in her hands. Trini frantically turns away, afraid that she might start staring. Unfortunately, she wasn’t quick enough, and the image of Kimberly Hart in a fucking bikini, her legs and stomach completely on display, keeps flashing behind her eyes.

“You’re enunciation is good, but the wand movement is still a bit unclear,” Kimberly says casually, as if she isn’t practically naked in the middle of the grounds. Her skin is littered with droplets, and water drips from her hair. She tilts her head, starting to wring her hair out. “If you slowed down a little, you’d probably get it.”

“Woah, Hart,” Zack laughs incredulously. “I always knew you were a little crazy, but you actually go swimming in that fucking lake? Home to the giant squid?”

Kimberly shrugs, slinging the towel over her shoulder. “Weather was looking nice, figured I’d go for a swim.”

“In a lake full of deadly magical creatures?”

“I live in the dungeons, Zack, and there are windows. They’re actually not as scary as everyone makes them sound.”

“Sure they aren’t. I’m just saying, when a giant pervy tentacle snatches your top off, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”

“I… In what scenario would that possibly happen? I don’t even want to know how you came up with that.”

Trini feels awkward just sitting there listening to Zack and Kimberly banter, so she turns her attention back to the rabbit, who has hopped a few feet away. She exhales, focusing intently, and tries the spell again. Once more, the rabbit assumes the correct pose, but it doesn’t turn into a statue, and the spell fails. She lets out a huff of frustration.

“You’re still rushing it.” Trini notices that Kimberly is addressing her. “The second movement needs to be softer—”

“Well, if you’re so good at it, why don’t you show us how it’s done?” Trini challenges. She can feel her ears burning slightly from embarrassment.

Kimberly raises an eyebrow, and Trini expects her to just make some snarky remark and walk off. Instead, she steps forward, and soon she’s standing over Trini. It’s an awkward angle looking up to her face, but Trini figures it’s more appropriate than looking at any other part of Kimberly’s very much unclothed body.

There’s an awkward silence before Kimberly speaks. “Um. I don’t have my wand.” Trini blinks in confusion before she realizes that Kimberly’s hand is outstretched. Oops. She still doesn’t move, simply maintaining eye contact with Kimberly.

Finally, Kimberly lets out a sigh that is somehow both patient and condescending, before turning to Zack. “Can I?” she asks, and Zack hands his wand over.

She turns to the rabbit and lifts the wand. Her wrist flexes gracefully as she casts the spell, and even before she finishes, Trini can already tell that it’ll work. The glow barely lasts, and soon a ceramic statue of a rabbit rests on the grass.

“Good enough?” Kimberly asks, and Trini doesn’t have a reply. Kimberly simply smirks and hands Zack his wand back. “See you later,” she says to him before she walks off, not even bothering to say goodbye to Trini.

“That girl is hot as hell,” Zack comments, and Trini kicks him lightly, because there’s no way that Kimberly is out of earshot.

“Ow! What?” Zack complains, rubbing his shin. “It’s true.”

Trini rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Who does she think she is, acting like she knows everything?”

“I mean, she did get the spell right.”

“So?” Trini scoffs. “It’s still rude.”

“You realize she’s top of our class in Transfiguration, right? She’s got the brains and the body.”

“Gross, dude.” Trini grimaces, aiming another kick at Zack. “Do you talk about all your friends like that?”

“Actually I do,” he says, before winking at her. “If you think that’s bad, you should hear the stuff I say about Jason—” She cuts him off with a groan, burying her face in her hands, and he laughs. There’s a pause before Zack speaks again.

“So, you reckon Kimberly’s more of your type?” Her head shoots up, and Zack is watching her with a devious twinkle in his eyes.

Instead of responding, she turns to regard the rabbit statue. She looks at Zack, smirks, and then raises her wand. His eyes widen.

“Wait, don’t—”

“Lapifors.”

The statue wavers, comes to life, and the rabbit immediately starts hopping away. Trini rises to her feet, grabbing her bag. “Good luck, Taylor,” she taunts as he gapes at her.

“Wha-? What am I supposed to do now?”

“Keep practicing,” She says as she backs away. She waves her arms in an exaggerated conductor-like gesture. “Remember, slooooowly.” She turns away, and chuckles when she hears Zack swear as he goes back to chasing the rabbit.

* * *

Trini fidgets with the handle of her broom, her brain already filling with regret. Her nerves had been getting the best of her, so she figured that there was no harm in getting to the tryouts a little early. Except she might have been too early, and now she’s facing the prospect of sitting awkwardly by herself, waiting for someone else to arrive.

Stupid, she mentally berates herself. She’s tempted to fly around a bit, just to give herself something to do, but it might look pretentious if someone saw her. She settles for pulling her wand out and messing around a bit.

Even after all these years, Trini never gets tired of doing magic. Not to say that being gifted this way was easy; she figures her relationship with her parents would still be strained either way, but magic definitely played a part in that. Still, she found something calming in casting spells. There was a certainty in it, in the way she could actually make things happen. It helped her feel in control, even if only for a little bit.

She conjures a rainbow, and smiles as it hovers in a perfect circle front of her. Her smile fades a little when she remembers her earlier conversation with Zack. She bites her lip, mulling over the questions he’d asked her.

You reckon Kimberly’s more your type?

She hears footsteps approaching, and it turns out to be Ernie again. She gives them a wave.

“That’s pretty neat.” Ernie says, and Trini shrugs.

“Thanks. So’s that.” She gestures to Ernie’s hair, and they chuckle.

“Tragically, I’m nowhere near this skilled. It’s all Jen’s work,” they say, fingers brushing against the braids pinning their hair back. “Speaking of which, she swore she was gonna be on time…”

There’s silence for an awkward amount of time before Ernie tries to start up the conversation again. “Feeling nervous?”

Luckily, at that point, a bunch of other Hufflepuffs walk in, some of them in jerseys, some of them wearing regular clothes. Some of them call out to Ernie, and they excuse themself before going to join their teammates. Trini lets out a breath, glad to not be the focus of attention anymore.

People keep arriving for the next ten minutes or so, and soon the pitch is full of noise and chatter. Eventually, a sharp whistle calls them all to silence, and Ernie steps out.

“Hello everyone,” they say cheerfully. “Hopefully you’re here because you want to try out for the Hufflepuff quidditch team. If you thought this was gonna be something else, then I’m sorry to disappoint, but we’d still like you to try out anyways. If you’re not in Hufflepuff, then I don’t know what you’re doing here, but could you please leave, thanks.” There’s a titter from the crowd, and some groans from Ernie’s teammates.

“For those of you who don’t know, I’m Ernie, the unofficial vice-captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. I am not the actual captain, as that would be—”

“That would be me.” A voice booms from the entrance, and everyone turns on the spot. There’s a girl walking towards them, purpose evident in her every step. Trini can feel the wave of intimidation settle over the crowd.

Ernie shakes their head. “Always one for dramatics,” they sigh as the girl comes to stand next to them. Her long, dark hair is braided down the back, and her dark, serious eyes scan the crowd.

“Listen up,” she commands, and everyone snaps to attention. “I am the Captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. You may call me Jen, Jenny if I like you, and Jennifer if you have a death wish.” Some idiot in the crowd chuckles, but he chokes when she immediately fixes him with a piercing glare.

“I’m not going to lie, the team has suffered a bit of a blow this year, so you have some big shoes to fill. If you want to even be considered for this team, I want you to give 100% effort. There will be no do-overs for these tryouts, no second chances. This is your one and only chance to prove that you are tough enough and talented enough to be on the team. You want a place? Then. Earn. It.” She punctuates the final words by staring into the crowd, and Trini swallows thickly. “Warm ‘em up,” Jen says to Ernie before taking off on her broom.  

“Well then.” Ernie claps their hands enthusiastically. “We’ll have a few laps around the pitch to warm up, do some drills, and we’ll go from there. Sound good?”

The girl standing next to Trini leans in close. “The captain sure is scary, huh?” she whispers.

Trini nods, watching Jen fly around the pitch. “Yeah. I wanna be her when I grow up.”

* * *

“We’ll take a five minute break,” Jen calls out. “And no slacking!”

Sighs of relief can be heard throughout the pitch. Trini settles on the ground, wiping the sweat off her face.

The tryouts so far had been… chaotic, to say the least. After warm-ups and passing drills, there had barely been any structure at all. Jen seemed to be calling out exercises at random, some of them sounding so ridiculous that Trini was sure they’d been made up on the spot (at one point she tried to have them steer their brooms with their legs, which Trini is pretty sure is impossible). To add to the weirdness, every so often Ernie or one of the other squad members would fly up, seemingly out of nowhere, and yell “Catch!” while throwing some random object in the air (they lost a couple of recruits from black eyes, and Jen eventually had to call them off when someone launched an umbrella through the air like a javelin).

“Hey Trini! Catch!” She whirls around, hands just barely coming up in time to catch the object being thrown at her. It’s cold, and wet, and she realizes that it’s a bottle of water. She looks for the source, and is startled to see Billy waving to her from the stands.

“You need to stay hydrated!” he calls down, hands cupped around his mouth like a megaphone. There’s a huge smile on her face as she sips from the bottle before giving him a thumbs up. He gives her two in response, and Trini feels like she could cry.

“Alright grunts, circle up!” Jen barks, and Trini quickly takes a few last sips before heading over.

“Surely there’s a nicer word to call them?” Ernie suggests, and Jen waves the suggestion off.

“Meh, who can be bothered? Alright,” she addresses the recruits. “We’ve split you guys up into teams, and we’re gonna run a practice match. We don’t have a snitch, so instead you’ll be chasing Ernie here. Rules as usual, except the game doesn’t end when the snitch is caught. If you somehow do manage to catch Ernie, both seekers will be switched out, and the match will continue. Any questions?”

A hand rises. “If Ernie is gonna be flying, how are we supposed to catch them without anyone getting injured.”

Jen shrugs. “That’s your problem. Anything else? No. Good. Also, positions may be switched up randomly and without warning, so you suckers better be on your toes.”

Fourteen people are selected to be on the starting teams, and the rest are told to wait in the stands. There’s a lot of confusion and apprehension floating among the recruits, and Trini tries to tune it out. She grabs a seat next to Billy, giving him a smile.

“Didn’t know you were gonna be here,” she says, nudging him with her shoulder. He flinches at the contact, but waves off her apology.

“You’re my friend, of course I’m gonna come watch. I would’ve brought the others, but I don’t think players from other teams are welcome at tryouts.”

“Probably not,” Trini agrees. They turn their attention back to the pitch as the quaffle is thrown up and the match begins.

Billy watches the pitch with a blank expression. After a minute, he speaks up. “This is a hot mess.”

“I agree.” They both wince as two of the players exchanging Chaser positions collide into each other, calling for a time-out. A player in a jersey flies up and points to Trini.

“You, Tiny. You’re up.” She glares at him defiantly before saying goodbye to Billy. Rather than going back down the stairs, she simply jumps to the top of the barrier and leaps from there, mounting her broom in mid-air.

The Hufflepuff player nods. “Impressive. Hopefully your skills live up to your showmanship. You’re in seeker position for team Yellow.”

The whistle blows, signaling the match to resume, and Trini immediately flies to a higher vantage point, scanning the action. She quickly spots Ernie by their silvery hair, the Black team seeker in pursuit. She almost dives down, but then she sees Ernie heading towards the thick of the action, where the chasers are battling for the quaffle. She heads on an interception path, aiming for the other side of the mass of people.

Ernie skillfully weaves under and between the other players—the other seeker isn’t as lucky, almost colliding with a chaser before getting brutally pummeled by a bludger. Trini winces in sympathy as they’re quickly swapped out.

Something flicks her in the ear, and her hand comes up instinctively. “Ah!”

“Focus, Trini,” Ernie’s voice says over her shoulder, and she immediately turns, but they’re already speeding off. She sets off after them, keeping an eye out for obstacles.

They zig-zag across the field for a while before Ernie tries the same tactic, darting by the other players in an attempt to throw her off. Instead, Trini drops altitude, flying a level below the action. She’s able to track the action above her, and she spots Ernie as they’re looping back to the other side of the pitch. She’s gearing up to intercept when her path is suddenly blocked.

“Get out of the way!” she snaps at the figure that swerved in front of her, and she nearly pisses her pants when she looks and sees Jen glaring at her sternly.

“I-I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” she manages to stutter out. Jen looks between her and Ernie before speaking again.

“Change of position,” she says, tossing Trini a bat. “You’re beater now.” She speeds off before Trini can say anything else.

The rest of the match passes quickly; there isn’t much for Trini to do as a beater, since the players are so disorganized she can barely remember who to defend and who to attack. Eventually, Jen calls a halt.

“That’s good, we’re done now. Good show, we’ll get back to you… at some point.” She flies away, leaving Ernie standing in front of everyone. They look around before throwing their hands up in celebration.

“You guys did really well!” they cheer, a comically large smile on their face. “That was a lot of fun, I hope you guys enjoyed it, we’ll have a discussion and once the team has been selected we’ll probably post something in the common room. Get some rest, make sure to drink water, and have a nice day!” As abruptly as their speech began, it ends, and Ernie is already walking towards the rest of the team before Trini can process what they said.

“Talk about good cop, bad cop,” she mutters to herself as she heads out. Billy is waiting for her outside the pitch, and he claps his hands when he sees her.

“You did really well!” he says excitedly. “It’s a shame you didn’t get to play chaser, but all that practice we did paid off! It was a really unorthodox method of choosing players though, I’m really interested in what their goal was. When do the results come out? I’m pretty sure you have a good chance of getting in. Do you think I’d be able to talk to the captain?”

Trini holds her hand up for a second, and Billy pauses. She thinks for a moment before responding. “Thanks Billy, it was fun, I had no idea what was going on either, results will be out maybe in a week? And you can try and talk to her, but she’s kinda... rough. Ernie is nice, though.”

He nods. “That’s good to hear. What are you going to do now?”

“Have a shower, eat everything I can get my hands on, and then take a nap.”

“Sounds like a good post-practice plan. But don’t eat everything, because it’s really easy to overeat after you exercise, because you’re so hungry. Plus, if you’re too full, you might get indigestion during your nap.”

She smiles, touched by his concern. “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Everything in moderation.”

They chat a little about classes and the other players on the walk back to the castle (“It takes a lot of skill to drop the quaffle.” “I’m sure it happens to everyone though, right?” “They literally have Gripping Charms on them, Trini.” “Oh…”). Billy eventually heads off to the library to do some more research, and Trini heads back to the Hufflepuff common room. She stops by the kitchens first, and the house elves are very curious about her appearance. She gives them a very brief rundown of the tryouts as they foist sandwiches and pastries on her, and they wish her luck while sending her off.

Stepping into the Hufflepuff common room is incredibly awkward, because all of the other players from the tryouts are also just making their way back. Many of them are congregated by the windows in a sweaty mass, discussing the tryouts and how each of them thinks they did. Some of them recognize Trini and try to start a conversation, but she manages to quickly, if somewhat brusquely, brush them off as she heads to her dorm.

She debates whether to eat or shower first, but after getting a good whiff of herself, she decides that the sandwiches can wait. The hot water of the shower feels heavenly, and the only reason she manages to make it back to her dorm is because her stomach starts grumbling. The sandwiches are delicious, as always, and she has some pastries left over for later, as always. She barely manages to set everything aside before she passes out from exhaustion.

* * *

Zack is waiting for her outside the Great Hall after lunch. He falls in step besides her as they head to the library.

“Well?” he asks insistently.

“Well what?” she says, feigning ignorance. He sighs dramatically, rolling his eyes.

“The quidditch tryouts, what else?! It’s been over a week, surely they must have said something by now.” She keeps her expression innocent, and he makes an exasperated noise, throwing his hands in the air. All of a sudden he stops, and his eyes narrow at her in suspicion.

“Wait a minute… You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

She keeps her expression blank.

“So results did come out, then?”

No response.

“Did you make it on the team?”

Silence. Then, a slight twitch of her mouth.

“I KNEW IT!” All of a sudden, Trini finds herself wrapped up in one of the most intense bear hugs of her life. She feels herself lifted clean off her feet, and her bag presses uncomfortably into her side as Zack squeezes her, spinning around.

“That’s my Crazy Girl! I knew you could do it!” After a few spins he sets her down, and the first thing she does is punch him in the kidney.

“I’m proud of you,” he wheezes out, and while she doesn’t respond, the smile on her face says it all.

She and Zack make their way triumphantly to the designated study table, when Trini stops short. Billy and Jason are sitting next to each other, as usual, with designated space for Billy to lay out his inkwell and quills. But on Jason’s other side sits Kimberly, her hair falling in her face as she leans over her book.

“Huh. Fancy seeing her here,” Zack whispers. Trini frowns.

“You say that like you come here all the time. You’ve literally stepped in this library once.”

“Twice, now.”

“Same difference.” Taking a moment to get herself together, Trini walks up to the table, Zack in tow. She takes her usual seat across from Billy, who looks up at her.

“Any news?” he asks, and Jason turns as well. She exchanges glances with Zack before turning back and giving a thumbs up.

“That’s great,” Jason says, giving her a smile. “You’ve been working hard, you deserve it.”

Billy looks confusedly at her for a moment, hesitantly giving her a thumbs up. “Um, thanks? But did you make it onto the team or not?” he asks again.

“Yeah, I did!”

Billy gasps, clapping his hands together. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices Jason watching Billy fondly.

“Congrats.” Trini is surprised to hear Kimberly speak. She gives a sort of awkward nod in response, and Kimberly turns back to her book.

After a moment of silence, Trini gets out her astrology assignment, rubbing her eyes as she looks over the star chart.

Zack leans over (which is kind of unnecessary, considering how much taller than her he is), and frowns. “Wait, what’s that doing there?” He points to a dot on her paper.

She blinks at him. “That’s Pluto.”

“Pluto’s involved in this?”

“Yeah, we’re supposed to calculate based on a waning half moon. But I thought Pluto was supposed to be over there.” Billy points to a different cluster of stars.

“What? Let me see your chart.”

The three of them spend the next thirty minutes comparing star charts and quietly arguing about the positions of the planets. They eventually attract the wrath of Madame Pince, who gives them a brief scathing lecture on collaborative work and library etiquette before making them all swear to be silent. As soon as she’s out of view, the whole table dissolves into quiet sniggering.

As she reaches for a reference book, Trini briefly wonders how she came from studying alone in the common room to sitting at a library table with her two best friends, her best friend’s quasi-boyfriend, and her best friend’s quasi-boyfriend’s mysterious ex-girlfriend. She rubs at her eyes, turning back to her work. She’ll have time to ruminate on all of this later. Right now, she’ll just enjoy the calm while it lasts.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X9 the Real Ghostbusters

...oh mORE META?

oh HELL YEAH Actually this might not be good, but let's do this

oh yeah never mind this is going to be a mess

the bb flashbacks tho, they were so small

Chuck...said come...uh oh

B E CK Y

nope nope I'm muting this oh my goD KILL ME

he's..is Chuck dating Becky

nothing makes sense anymore

the leather jacket again? oh?

...hey wasn't last episode also emotionally raw?

also cuz the jacket is recognizable I think

the FUCKING SCARECROW FROM SEASON 1??

thEIR REACTIONS TO THE MERCHANDISE LMAOOO

theY'RE SO TALL COMPARED TO HER

I cannot believe that they just said "frightened little boy(Dean)" and "the homoerotic subtext of supernatural" what the FUCK WAS GOING ON HERE

listen I wasn't in the fandom then I don't know what's happening what is happening what the fuck

great so God's a terrible public speaker

nothin makes sense anymore

"Where'd you come up with the characters" *stares directly at Sam and Dean*

their technique is getting critiqued lmaO

Sam's like "fair enough," Dean's taking it personally

Becky what the fuck

"Dean goes to hell what happens"

Dean in the back of the auditorium: wow I SURE WONDER

dang now I want a yellow eyed cooler

God is actively trying to date a Samgirl

I...just...typed that what the fuck

"I'm not a good writer" THEY FUCKING WARNED US

ah they're roleplaying I see ok

"who gave you the right to our life story" and "our lives aren't for public consumption" are raw ass fucking lines tho

aw Dean doesn't know what LARPing is yet

they got the badges too with the stupidfucking FBI agent names

oh god they actually show up

oh my god it's a Tulsa isn't it

B L A I R WALDORF?

oh it wasn't her

it doesn't work cuz they think it's them

I think they should lose a look alike contest I think that would be funny

oh it's...actually authentic oops

lmao he said the actual thing oh my gOD

oh god they think it's part of the game but GUYS IT'S NOT

the role-play hurts me

no NO THOSE ARE ACTUAL CLUES OH MY GOD

hey I have a shirt the same color and pattern as Sam's

god this kid is actually terrifying, as is this episode

Becky what the fuck

ah Dean has the parental issues ok

ah and they found the other guys

thEY MAKE SAM AND DEAN BE RUFUS AND BOBBY AHAHHAAHAH

yeah fuckers have fun getting therapized by NERDS

"why choose to be us" oh gOD THAT'S HIS DAMAGE WAIT

"Their pain is not for your enjoyment" :(

Sam saying he takes it seriously oh my GOD AHAHA

hey wait in the meta plot line does that mean the fans like the character versions and not the writers? Is that how that works?

wow I just cannot tell what is happening anymore

ah he takes the Dean Shot that's neat

"we read the books" LMAO

"and screw you very much" LMAOOO

ah it's the lady

ah jeez not the kid

wait who did it? the kids??

oh good it is the other kids

the mom was trying to protect him

"invasive questions" seriously

the angels lmAO

'lapping" dean

oh they were only scared of Letiticia and the...larpers

oh that's so neat

"we got to do something, even if we're terrified"

the story gives them strength aw

I'm so sad they stopped making him say sweetheart that was sweet

oh shit the ringtone

it almost worked

enough to buy them time ig

these kids are so fucked up omg

Chuck has gone to the Worst Stories oh my god

this is gonna be fun

HEY CHUCK GOT TO BE A HERO!

yes it's a bit self congratulatory it was still cool

Rob Benedict is fun

lmAO WE SHOULD PUT THEM ON A BUNGEE

they don't believe him

it was a GOOD LINE Though

they get to be the escapism for people! they get to have a family that would die for them!

that's so good though

are they..

no they seem just friends

if they snuck in w//nc//st I was gonna be very confused

ah good here's the Becky plotline I have fun

he'S SO TALL COMPARED TO THEM

sAM YOU CHEEKY BASTARD

yes go and date Becky God

"no not really we have guns and we'll find you" AHAHAHA

oh my god

oH MY GOD THE WRITER CLAIRVOYANCE

HOLY FUCK WAIT OH MY GOD THAT'S SO GOOD

cROWLEY! C R O W L EY !? C R O W LE Y!!

aW DEAN

THEY JUST FORCED HIM TO SAY SHIT LMAO

THEIR REACTIONS TO CHUCK’S EMBARASSING STORIES LMAOOOO

1 the good fan portrayals! look..yeah ok there was some stuff that was weird, we weren’t supposed to see them as like..the Ideal. but the whole thing of like…family that cares about you and that you care about and saving the world? they did understand that part of the appeal at least, they were just wrong about their target audience. The majority was sad teens, but…I think…I think they had the right vague Idea. It wasn’t AS unsympathetic as I thought.

2. the bad whatever the FUCK they were doing with Becky. Like…oh wow. Some of the convention stuff was clearly made to be mocking. Actually a lot of it. I’m honestly surprised at ANY good. Jesus that was cringe for like 80%. Like I’m glad in the end it…tried, but OUCH it was…Listen I get it wasn’t your target demo but you still have fans guys for FUCK’S SAKE

3. the reactions listen…Sam’s lil “ah yeah this is kinda funny in places, we can make this work, I can hide it” vs Dean’s “WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE”…like idk Sam at least feels like someone who has let himself be weird and nerdy, Dean hasn’t, so he knows the vibe. Also I feel like Dean hates himself and his life a lot more than Sam does, regardless of how much they pretend it’s the other way. Like it reads as everything Dean wanted not to be, or was told not to be, and like…yeah ok there’s a metaphor in there. Whereas Sam the Protagonist is just kinda more chill. Also that one scene at the end was unironically funny(no chuck abort was very good)

4. the meta/self congratulatory ok as far as meta: they did take advantage of the fact that we the audience know shit the characters don’t to like…actually find the colt! like that was a very good use of meta! using the lady as the matron was also good use of meta! and yeah it’s self congratulatory(nerdy underdog niceguy writer gets the girl that’s a fan of his work)(hey if chuck’s a stand in that’s really fucked up guys) but that scene with Chuck was actually cool, and yknow…he’s not that bad right now. I know he will be, but he’s just kinda fun and funny

5. actually really good set up and payoff this episode like the shot glasses, the lady, the “they all think it’s a joke” hell even the fucking colt and bela and crowley. I just thought it was neat

6 hbo supernatural. Ok so…every single thing that was a bit Lighthearted ended up dark and vice versa. I think that they’re straddling this line a lil bit here, because they clearly wanna tell darker stories, but the CW is forcing them to stay peppy and they’re…not fantastic at integrating it. Like changing channels has two COMPLETELY separate vibes. I think that actually the curious case did it better, but both are good. Once again, the straining against circumstances that makes this fucking show so compelling, even if it’s not good

7 BELAAAA FINALLY A NAMEDROPPPP!! YES THAT'S ALL IT WAS BUT I MISS HERRRR

and that was our meta section of the season peeps!

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 REVIEW: Part 3

Part Six: Dank Memes, Bra! So here we are, we're finally talking about the elephant in the room. It is time to talk about one of the biggest complaints about the 2016 Powerpuff Girl reboot, as a whole, the use of memes and internet references as a source of humor. If you are reading this and are somehow unaware, the new reboot has had several jokes referencing memes and internet slang in the show. For example in the episode "Painbow" we get Bubbles saying "OMG, Yaass!" and "I can't even!" as well as a scene Blossom and Buttercup twerking after they where mind controlled to party with a talking panda bear that lived in the clouds above Townsville. (Okay, now that I say that out loud that episode was really weird...) Also in the episode "Tiara Trouble" we have Bubbles getting mad at her sisters and yelling "No me Gusta!" at the end of her rant. There has also been a clip of an upcoming episode featuring Bubbles creating a "Mojo Meme Generator." So, how has the internet reacted to the reboots use of memes and internet related humors? Not well, as you could of probably guessed. Almost every online review uses either the "No Me Gusta" or the twerking as part of there thumbnail, with people acting like this show is nothing more than an endless barrage of internet slang that is trying to be "hip with da kids, bra". Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that there complaints aren't at least somewhat warranted, as these memes are definitely used more frequently than in most other shows, but I personally feel that people might be exaggerating the extent of these jokes. If you look through all the episodes and combine all the instances of meme-ery, it honestly isn't that much, like combined all the memes probably take up less that forty seconds from the entire series thus far. Now I get why people would be against memes in a show like this, as it does seem pandering and will age the show, but what I don't get is why THIS show gets the shaft for using internet and meme jokes when other cartoons get off scot-free free. Gumball had an entire episode devoted to Gumball and Darwin watching Youtube clips, where they parody Rickrolling and the Ice Bucket Challenge. Nobody talks about how Uncle Grandpa had an entire episode dedicated to "Duck Lips." We Bare Bears uses internet jokes in almost every episode, and made a "I like turtles." joke, IN 2016! Now I honestly don't really have a problem with meme references in cartoons (I think the "I like turtles" joke was actually really, really funny.) But it seems unfair to target Powerpuff Girls for this when all these other Cartoon Network shows do the same thing. Now you could argue that part of the problem is that when PPG 2016 uses memes, it's just not funny. You could also argue that Gumball and We Bare Bears reference internet trends while Powerpuff Girls does specific memes, and thus isn't as timeless. I would agree with this, as I feel like Powerpuff Girls is nowhere near as clever with it's internet jokes as something like We Bare Bear's is. The only reason I like the Powerpuff Girls meme jokes is because I like how cringe it is, and if where looking at the jokes in an unironic sense there not really that good, I mean Bubbles just randomly shouts "No Me Gusta." I won't argue that at all. You could also make the argument that the old Powerpuff Girls was a timeless show, and thus this show should try to be timeless too. I do agree with that too..For the most part. The show was timeless, but...do You remember "Powerpuff Girls Rule?" It was the 10th anniversary special made by Craig McCracken himself had a reference to "Surprised Chipmunk" in it. Heck Craig McCracken even referenced the He-Man "Fabulous Secret Powers" meme in the Wander Over Yonder episode "The Cartoon." Now if the memes are still a problem for you, I get it. I can see how it could appear desperate or running the timeless quality, or just plain unfunny. I just personally don't mind it that much, because other cartoons do the same thing, and all together the memes don't even account for a minute of the actual show. I just feel it's a little unfair to take a few clips and say that that's what the entire show is, when really it's a pretty small percent. But if you still have a problem with the memes that's fine, I don't think your opinions are wrong or anything stupid like that, it's just my personal perspective. Point Seven: Teen Titans Go! Crossover So it's been recently announcing this July there is going to be a Teen Titans Go! Crossover with the 2016 Powerpuff Girls. This has sparked outrage among the internet (which is pretty much the internet default opinion of the reboot at this point, all things considered.) Now what is my take on this? Well...I Depends on if it's really a "crossover?" Now that may sound really weird to some people, but please here me out. Teen Titans Go! Has done stuff like this before, They had a crossover with the Young Justice team in the episode "Let's Get Serious" and a crossover with the TMNT in the episode "Truth, Justice, and What" Oh wait...I'm Sorry, it wasn't the TMNT, it was the Super Cool Youngish Kung-Fu Turtle Dudes, how could I mess that up. Anyway, neither of those crossover featured anybody who worked on those other series, except for the voices actors. Not only that, but those crossovers didn't really even have the guest stars in important roles, they where really just cameos, with only the character that was voiced by a TTG cast member actually talking, and only getting a couple lines at that. I suspect that the Teen Titans Go! Crossover will be something like that. I.E. It will be created by the Teen Titans Go! Crew, without any involvement or possibly permission from any of the Powerpuff Girls writers or crew member,  and have the Powerpuff Girls show up for like, a minute and a half at most, only have Bubbles say any of the lines (because Tara Strong also voiced Raven) and then the rest of the episode being about the Teen Titans characters doing something unrelated. The plot will most likely be about people hating reboots, and the show claiming that people only hate TTG and PPG because there reboots and not for any legitimate complaints because, well that's kinda what Teen Titans Go! Does. Now I don't know this for sure, but I'm calling this now! If this isn't the case, if the crossover has writers from BOTH series, and is a real super hero team up type thing, than yeah, people can complain about this episode all they want, but If I know TTG (and trust me, I could probably talk about that show for even longer than I've talked about this show) that would be my guess on how this crossover will most likely go down. If it does go down the way I described that I really don't think it's fair to blame the Powerpuff Girl Reboot for an episode made by other writers at another studio just because they used their characters. But we will have to wait until July to find out for sure, so let us move on. Point Eight: Final Thoughts Now I'm most likely bias when it comes to the Powerpuff Girl reboot. When it was first announced I was hesitant, but as time went on I became excited. Then when I saw everyone online hate the show prior to it coming out I wanted to like it even more, out of spite. I felt like nobody was giving the show a chance, and so I wanted to be that person to give it a chance. I wanted the show to be great, partially to prove all those people wrong but also because I love the original Powerpuff Girls! I grew up with that show, and I loved it! The idea of Powerpuff Girls becoming a franchise, in the same vein as Batman and the Ninja Turtles got me really excited. If this show took off there could be a new Powerpuff Girl cartoon ever decade, constantly evolving, and adding elements onto each other. Becoming a part of the American pop culture landscape, and I'm still hoping that that can happen, we've just gotten a rocky start. (But still, I mean the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles TV show after the 80's one was the live action one, and that franchise recovered.) I don't want to come off as a blind fanboy, as I do have problems with this new series. I think the writing is okay, but not great, I don't like the removal of Ms. Bellum, I wish they change the majority of the cast and not just the girls, the show being less action driven and more character based could of worked, but not the way they decided to do it, and the animation errors really need to be fixed. But the show isn't God awful either. The backgrounds and coloring are beautiful, I like how they added new villains and side characters to the Powerpuff Girl roster (even though the villains and side characters can be kinda hit or miss.) the show is still at least fairly funny, and I love what they've done with Bubbles. A lot of people say that reboots are just easy ways for big studios to make money without doing anything original, a while this may be true in some respects, a reboot might be easy money for an executive but for the cast and crew working on it it's pretty dang hard. I mean sure you'll have a built in audience and the reboot will most likely make a lot of money, but you also have to fill the shoes of the original creators. You have to deal with all the premature hatred that comes with that built in audience, and you have to juggling meeting there expectation, being your own thing, and making the show you want to create. It's frickin' hard! And you could say that's just the trade off but remember it's the networks who decided to reboot the property, not the showrunner or executive behind the show itself. It's easy enough to write a character you've made, but when it's a character you haven't made it presents it's own set of challenges that must be a nightmare for some creators and directors, and I'm not just talking about Powerpuff Girls. I think the show is good. Not great, but good. It's far from the worse thing ever. I would probably say I enjoy the reboot about as much if not more  than most of the episodes in the last two seasons of the old series, and I do hope that the people behind the shows will improve as time goes on. After all, it is just the first season, and the old show had some dumb things in there first season too (remember that episode where three criminals disguised themselves as the girls with costumes that where just conveniently inside there prison cell...yeah.) I hope you liked my massive review on the Powerpuff Girls Reboot, I've never done a project like this before and the feedback has been fantastic. If you have any other ideas for reviews or topics for me to cover in my other series, "Cartoon Thoughts" let me know. Also if you want, feel free to check out my webcomics, "Joy of Crime" or "Elinor High." If you like this review please fav, follow and comment and I will be most appreciative. And so once again, the day is saved, thanks to...over analyzation! (...I'm pushing it, aren't I?) 

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/Powerpuff-Girls-2016-REVIEW-Part-3-610024966 DA Link

[theinvinciblenoob]

It’s hard to imagine a better demonstration of the state of AAA gaming today than Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, a game where the whole of the wine-dark Classical Aegean is available for you to ply with your oars — but which operates according to a risible, cartoonish video game logic that seems, if possible even more anachronistic. Should you play it? Absolutely.

(Very minor spoilers ahead.)

In case you haven’t been following the Assassin’s Creed… well, odyssey, the last few years, the game took some time off following the lavishly produced but ambivalently received Unity and Syndicate games, set in revolutionary Paris and Victorian London respectively. The series, critics said, was wearing itself a bit thin despite the fabulous set dressing.

You can imagine everyone’s surprise when AC returned in Origins, set in an enormous swathe of ancient Egypt. New systems nudged the game from the stealth action of its roots towards the expansive, open-world RPG currently in vogue. It was a little rough around the edges but the scale was welcome, as was the shift away from the increasingly turgid Assassins vs Templars secret society scramble.

The news that the next game would take place in Ancient Greece at the time of the Peloponnesian War thrilled me to no end. I’ve always been a fan of the Classical era, Homer and Herodotus and Periclean Athens and all that. I’ll also admit to an unironic love of 300 and the story of Leonidas’s last stand — the graphic novel, not the movie, which was awful.

Are you kidding me? Look at this.

Here, then was that world brought to life with all the fidelity that Ubisofts hundreds of artists and modelers could bring, with a narrative combining secret societies with classical warfare, historical figures, and high-seas adventure (I loved the pirate-themed AC Black Flag). On paper this is the greatest game ever to grace the screen.

And in a way, it is. Ubisoft’s rendering of the Classical world is so beautiful, so massive, so obviously a labor of love and skill and intensive research that I have spent much of my time in the game simply gawking.

The costumes! The statues! The landscapes! The light! It’s a feast of details at every location, from the idyllic backwater of Kephallonia, where your hero begins their story to the sprawling, bustling Athens just approaching the zenith of its glory. I (that is to say, my character) walked past the Theatre of Dionysus in its construction, which I have visited in person (now ruined and restored, of course), and on up to the Acropolis, where I scaled the Parthenon and looked out over the tiled roofs under one of which, for all I know, I may find Plato sitting and writing the Symposium.

Seriously.

Then I meander to the harbor, board my black ship, and split the seas to explore any of the islands in the entire Aegean — any of them. The whole Aegean! Well, most of it, anyway. Enough that you won’t ask for more. Here be mythical creatures, political machinations, stormy seas and sunny shanties.

The world that Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey in habits, I feel confident in saying, is the largest and most impressive that I have encountered, with special credit given for having to reflect reality to a certain extent, which is not a limitation shared by its eminent competition in the open-world genre, like Horizon: Zero Dawn and Breath of the Wild.

In my opinion, both as a gamer and a lover of antiquity, it is worth the price of admission to experience this world, to see and hear Ancient Greece in a way that was heretofore impossible, and simply to revel in the almost inconceivable level craft that was so obviously put into this mind-boggling world.

And now, having made that judgment, I will proceed to trash the game I just recommended for about two thousand words.

The game itself

Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, the game itself, is embarrassing to play. The characters you interact with and the minute-by-minute gameplay are so uneven that I truly believe that Ubisoft simply didn’t have time to adequately play-test it. It feels like the game was just too big to run through once they’d made it so they just shipped. If someone from Ubisoft were sitting next to me as I played, I would expect them to be cringing constantly.

It’s an incredibly lopsided collection of old and new ideas, balanced and unbalanced systems, good and bad UI, intuitive and baffling combat, beautiful and repulsive graphics, and excellent and laughable voice acting. I haven’t finished the game, let alone all the side quests, but although I expect to encounter more good things as I go, the bad things were apparently pretty much from the first few minutes and haven’t abated.

The AI of the people in this game seems to have regressed ten years to a simpler age. They are truly idiots all, from people on the street to elite soldiers.

Good old Adrastos the Logician, engaging in hand to hand combat.

One of the first things that happened when I got my horse and learned to have it follow a road was that it mowed down a few laborers. This, I found, would happen everywhere I went: every character in the game walks right in the center of the road and dives madly out of your way as you canter down it, screaming and cursing. Wild animals cluttered the road, and reacting confusedly as I approached and throwing themselves under the hooves of my steed, Phobos.

This was my first taste of what would become a theme. Why, I asked myself, wouldn’t these people just walk on the side of the road? The developers clearly accounted for horses riding down it, and have behaviors and barks for when that happens. But it’s so weird, so unrealistic, so video gamey. Surely in this lovingly rendered world it is not unusual for a horse to run down a mountain road? Why then do they behave in this way? Because the people were not created intelligently — it’s as simple as that. None of them.

I once emptied a military camp of guards and then set about looting the place. A woman was being held captive in a cage — not an uncommon thing to find — so I let her out. As she escaped, thanking me, I turned to take the items out of a nearby chest. The woman, mid-escape, screamed with rage at me for this theft, snatching a nearby spear and rushing me in righteous anger. What?

Perhaps I can’t expect every peasant to be a genius, but guards too (of all ranks) are unbelievably dense. They will step over the corpses of their fellow men to get to their post and not say a word. They will fail to hear the clashing of swords, or not notice a guy being violently flipped over and disemboweled, a matter of feet away. They will follow you one by one around corners where you can dispatch them individually and fail to see or care about the ever-widening pool of blood. They are as dumb as the dumbest guards from games that came out 10 years ago.

“Mother of Spiders”

Not much better are the much-ballyhooed mercenaries, who come after you if you do too many bad things. It’s not really clear what the bad things are, but eventually you’ll see a red helmet icon on your map and know you’ve been naughty. They’re basically guards with special weapons and a few characteristics like “weak to fire” or “takes 20 percent less ranged damage.” Technically they have backstories but you have to drill down to their description to find them, and by the time you’re doing that you’ve probably already killed them. You can recruit them for your ship, like you can recruit anyone, but they generally amount to stat bonuses with funny names like Demos the Drunk. He didn’t act drunk — just had a spear I wanted, so I took him out. I mean, the variation is welcome, but it’s nothing like, for example, the nemesis system in the Mordor series.

Combat is a real mix. You are no longer a fragile assassin who can be killed from a few good hits, but a powerful warrior with supernatural skills like instant mid-battle heals and teleportation. This is combat between equals, but your equals are generally stiff types with two or three attacks they repeat over and over, glowing a bright red or gold before doing so.

A slippery-feeling dodge system zips you through these attacks, or you can parry some of them, then slash away at your attacker. Some guards or targets, especially if they’re a level or two above you, will take minutes of patient slashing before they drop. I was sent on a hunt to kill a legendary boar that I gave up on after a couple minutes because I had only taken its health down by a quarter while not being hit myself.

Compared with other action RPGs it’s pretty listless stuff. More appealing is the stealth, which the fools of guards are obviously there to encourage, since you can empty a camp or fort of its occupants systematically and it can be quite satisfying. But with the perfect knowledge effected by scouting such a place with your eagle’s x-ray vision, it feels more like bullying than anything.

The Peloponnesian War is going on around you, though you’d be hard-pressed to notice most of the time. You don’t exactly take sides, since whatever area you’re in, your enemies are the ones in control. You can weaken the faction in power by various means and force a battle (a melee in which the combat, now against dozens, feels frustratingly sloppy), but ultimately the guards and camps feel much the same as one another — Spartans have different helmets from Athenians.

I thought at first this would be deeper than it is. I had looted a variety of armor pieces, several of which suggested I could use them to blend in among the Athenians whom I was at that moment working to undermine. So I donned them and headed to the nearest camp, hoping to walk about unsuspected, Hitman-style, sowing chaos by releasing caged animals and setting fire to supplies. Nope: I was immediately attacked on approaching the gate, before I’d even come in or done anything suspicious. The guard that had never seen me before apparently recognized me as the bloodthirsty mercenary who’d wiped out a camp a mile or so away, minutes earlier. No espionage for me.

It’s never really clear who you’re fighting or why, because the locations and people are just names. It doesn’t matter if they’re Athenian or Spartan, just that they’re the ones between you and the treasure chest. I guess that’s the life of a mercenary, but it doesn’t make you care a lot.

That was a quest?

The RPG elements, from gear to abilities, have almost no integration with the game itself. From the very beginning you can see your whole skill tree, including things involving the magic spear that you don’t yet know is magic. You gain new abilities and upgrade your ship not through interesting quests or meeting interesting people, but simply by spending points and resources.

When your ship’s captain says the hull ought to be upgraded, it’s not the start of a quest to find some cool big trees or visit his hometown where he left his ship-building tools and pals. It’s literally just a reminder to stock up on wood and iron and press the button to upgrade in the pause screen.

When you meet a talented carpenter whose brother is being held by bandits, it isn’t a quest to reunite these guys for a power team that enables a ship repair superpower. He just turns out to be a regular guy who increases your hull strength by a couple percentage points.

Quests, talked up ahead of release as being fully voiced and emergent, as though you’re receiving a request from help from a needy merchant or the like, are nothing of the sort. Every one I’ve encountered so far has been a variant of: Kill these five wolves specifically. Kill these three Spartan elite guards specifically. Kill these bandits. Sink these ships.

Each has a flimsy justification (they’re blocking the road; they stole money from me) and are often atrociously acted. In one I found the quest giver asleep; he obligingly woke me up to say he wanted to take the fight to some bandits who had been demanding money from him. As soon as I agreed, those very bandits appeared not ten feet away and instantly ran him through. Quest failed.

There are deeper side quests, to be sure. But the hundreds of quests you’ll see on quest boards or appearing randomly in the wild are like this, and rarely give more than a spritz of XP and gold. Sometimes you can recruit the quest-giver, though they might or might not be helpful on your crew.

I wish that they had taken the time and effort that went into creating 20 or 30 of these quests and made one single side quest with multiple steps, characters that mattered a bit, and provided substantial rewards like a new ability for your ship.

Even main story quests, such as the targets you’ll be taking on, can be disappointingly shallow. You’re supposed to be following threads and clues, but several are just handed to you: Here’s some lady. Here’s her exact location. Go kill her. No dialogue, no footwork, no alternatives. Stab this person and take their shiny thing. Shouldn’t I at least try to get some information out of her? Why isn’t there even a death cutscene like in so many of the other games?

The writing is hit and miss. The main story and its immediate side quests are fine — I’m perhaps 25 hours in and I’m interested to see where it’s going, even if it’s not particularly surprising. And it helps that the writing and voices for the main characters are leaps and bounds above the rest.

I chose to play as Kassandra, as opposed to Alexios, for a lot of reasons. And I love her. She’s well-acted, her writing is funny and occasionally realistic, and I like that she is indistinguishable from her male alternative in every way. Your companions, especially Herodotos and your exuberant captain Barnabas, are great.

Yet other characters are ridiculous: badly written, worse acted. Even major ones. I remember one exchange with a soon-to-be-target who was pressuring me to torture some poor sap. His voice acting was so bad, especially compared to his interlocutor Kassandra’s, that I was laughing out loud. He was far from the only example of this.

Games like The Witcher 3 have spoiled us on the quality of the writing and quests, but that should be a new bar to meet, not a high-water point. It’s sad that Ubisoft hasn’t upped its game here, so to speak; it feels like 90 percent of the game I’ve played so far is purely mechanical, and even at its best it sits like a layer of butter spread thinly across an enormous Greek piece of toast. But what toast!

It’s tantalizing to see how good a game like this could be, only to be let down again and again with elements that would feel out of date ten years ago. I’m having a great time when I’m not shaking my head at it, and enjoying the scenery when I’m not being attacked by one of the evidently 50,000 bears out for my blood in the Classical world.

As I wrote earlier, to me it is worth buying just for the good parts. But as someone who cares about games and loves the idea of this one, I can’t help but observe how dated and baffling it is at the same time. It doesn’t live up to the world it was created to inhabit, but that world is practically a complete game in itself, and one that I immediately loved.

via TechCrunch

[sarahburness]

Swipe Right on Mindfulness: Why I’m Glad I Gave Meditation a Try

“You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.” ~Amy Poehler

I sat there and listened, pretending to be interested.

Did he really just say he meditates every morning? Don’t roll your eyes. At least he’s really attractive. You can just ignore the hippy meditation stuff. 

But c’mon. Meditate every morning at 6am? Who does that? How ridiculous.

So I did ignore his hippy meditation stuff; he eventually ignored me.

I have an endless supply of ill-fated dating-by-way-of-phone-app tales. Most of them end in a relatively similar fashion, but that’s for another blog or a cabernet-supported whine-fest with a good friend. This dating experience in particular was quite a bit different.

Although this was the last time I dated a beautiful actor-slash-model-slash-writer, it happened to be the start of something else. Something much bigger than the initial lesson I learned—that sliding my finger across a cracked iPhone screen while waiting in the grocery line behind an adorable elderly lady writing a check for donuts was, sadly, not going to lead me to my soulmate.

However, it would guide me to a discovery far more powerful and impactful.

Not until years later would I look back on this casual swipe right on my handheld device as one of the most profound decisions I had made in my adult life. To say it changed the trajectory of where I was headed wouldn’t be an overstatement.

Thanks, Tinder. I really should go back and award you those four stars. Remind me later.

But back to this awkward date.

Shortly before this guy began to “forget” to respond to my texts, before the “new phone, who’s this?” kick-to-the-gut, before the inevitable self-doubt blame game, there was a brief, almost forgettable moment during this date that I now fondly look back upon.

The Start of Something New

I was super insecure at the time.

How does my hair look? Why did I wear this old sweater? God, he’s a GQ cover model and I look like a rejected 1999 Old Navy performance fleece ad fused with the ‘before’ Proactiv infomercial image that airs at 2am.

My mind never stopped. I was the king of insults, and I was my favorite target.

But somehow, amidst the relentless inner dialogue and self-destructive thought patterns, I noticed a striking presence from this guy. When he spoke, he was so focused. When he listened, he did so intently.

Also, he was so nice. Plain and simple nice.

I suspected he wasn’t worried about what his hair looked like. (Note: It looked perfect. Whatever.) And it seemed like he wasn’t thinking ahead about what to say next, or regretting what he had said prior. He was present. So much so, it made me very uncomfortable.

As for myself, I had a checklist of things in my head to say as well as some predetermined witty lines that I was proud of—for real, some of them were funny. I even prepared some self-deprecating jokes about being a late-twenties directionless bartender, so I could at least claim to insult myself first if that subject came up.

It was exhausting.

Spoiler alert: This dating experience with Perfect Hair was short lived. But I beat myself up about it for a while.

What did I say? Why didn’t I get my haircut? Why didn’t I get a spray tan!? I went on and on. These questions were endless and unnecessary. Except maybe the tanning one. I really should have bronzed up a bit— a little color never hurt a pale person, as my mom always says. But I didn’t. And so there I was, annoyed, bitter, single—and yes, pasty.

At the time, it didn’t make any sense to me. I was bummed. I chalked it up to my continual bad luck and blamed the world for being out to get me. Ya know, the usual.

Little did I know that this one date would be such a turning point in my life.

A Seed Was Planted

My mind was a messy field of weeds and cobwebs, but somewhere among them was perfectly conditioned soil that could harbor some new kind of life. Something about this guy stuck in my mind. And that something grew. I would continue to insult myself for the foreseeable future, but I took a brief respite from the witty yet destructive banter in my head to explore that “silly hippy meditation stuff.”

“I meditate every morning,” I remember him saying.

I still thought this was a ridiculous admission, but I decided to look into it. Maybe for just five minutes. What did I have to lose?

So instead of spending further time mindlessly scrolling through my Instagram feed and wondering how I know so many people with flawless beauty who are perpetually on breathtaking vacations, I pulled up Google.

In addition to a roll of my eyes, the word “meditation” used to elicit a visual of an un-showered, bearded hippy sitting cross-legged, surrounded by a cloud of suffocating incense smoke, chanting unintelligible words.

It’s partly because the term carries with it some dated, preconceived ideas, sure. But I also grew up in a very conservative town a few miles down the road from the not-so-conservative Woodstock, NY, where a drive through would be a sightseeing tour of extreme body hygiene practices of “hippies” with a side of snide judgmental comments.

That was my introduction to this world. That was my initial—and only—understanding of people who participated in silly hippy meditation stuff.

But hold up: Meditation really just means sitting quietly and focusing on what’s going on in the moment? And breathing? That’s basically it? Is it really that simple?

Yah, man, it’s that simple.

There is obviously much more to it than that, of course. There are books upon books, courses and classes upon websites and blogs on meditation. But at its core, it really is so simple: Sitting and breathing.

Why the hell didn’t someone tell me that it wasn’t this weird, silly, far-left liberal belief system? That it didn’t require a robe, facial hair, and skipping a bunch of showers. I don’t have to chant? What about sitting cross-legged? Incense and a beard? No, no, and no?

WHAT. THE. HELL.

It sounded so easy and was also a huge relief, because I look terrible with a beard and I’m not at all flexible.

I had no reason not to give it a try.

I was finally in the perfect place, mentally and physically (no beard!), for my exploration of this topic to begin.

So I started reading. Book after book after book. With an apprehensive perspective and holed up in a coffee shop with my hand covering the title so no one could see what I was reading (Uh, It’s Game Of Thrones, bro,) I immersed myself in this stuff.

I also realize in hindsight that telling someone I’m reading Game Of Thrones is not any “cooler” than revealing I’m exploring meditation. It’s basically a dorky tie.

I started by seeking out authors who had the same skeptical approach that I initially had, as it helped me tread cautiously into something that could scare me away if I dove in too deep, too fast.

Initially, I thought it was a bunch of ridiculousness. I gave up once. Twice. Five times.

But I pushed through. I kept remembering that fleeting moment from that cringe-worthy date. How relaxed, how present, how kind he was.

He meditated every day.

If it worked for Head & Shoulders Model, it would work for me. I should put that on a hat.

Ever so slowly, in the subtlest ways, I began to notice a difference. It was minimal. It was almost unnoticeable.

I just felt… better. Lighter. Happier? Maybe. I couldn’t really pinpoint it, but it was something.

And it was exciting.

Everything Happens—Yes, You Guessed It—For a Reason

At this point, my perception of this ill-fated date started to shift. Maybe, just maybe, there was a purpose of this encounter. Maybe, just maybe, it was exactly what I needed at exactly that time in my life.

The phrase “everything happens for a reason” used to drive me crazy. Mostly because I find it’s something people usually say in lieu of giving actual advice. It’s a cop-out, really. If I tell you I was ghosted by awkward Prius guy, I don’t want you to tell me everything happens for a reason. I want you to confirm my beliefs that Prius drivers are obviously the worst and that it definitely had nothing to do with me.

But I now believe that everything really does happen for a reason. Even the existence of the Prius, though for reasons I have yet to understand.

And yes—even uncomfortable, no-good, very-bad dates.

Sometimes it just takes a little surrender and hindsight to come to this realization. For me, it also took a lot of cheap red wine and years of reflecting on past decisions—and eventually immersing myself in some mindfulness practices—to confidently say I understand this clichéd phrase. There’s always a lesson to be learned.

One of those lessons is that boxed wine gives me a bad headache.

Everything had happened as it should—to bring me to this moment, to this blog post, to this glass of wine (from a bottle), to this place in my life where I can reflect and appreciate. And what a liberating and exhilarating feeling it is to say, “Yup, that happened. Here I am. What’s next?”

I’ve spent most of my life under the impression that I made every wrong decision possible. That had I just gotten one thing right along the way, just one, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.

I would be married to the perfect person. I’d have a perfect career. A perfect kid. A perfect house. A perfectly filtered Instagram feed. A perfect chicken dinner, because clearly my inability to cook a simple meal stems from some bad decision I made somewhere along the way. Everything would be perfect and my chicken wouldn’t be rubbery.

But it’s not.

Or is it? Maybe this is perfection. (Not my chicken, though—I still overcook it every time!)

I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

It’s such a freeing feeling to let go of the past, to trust in where I am, to understand that everything I have experienced, whether I can understand it now or will come to a realization at some point down the road, has been leading me to where I am meant to be. My only job is to go with it.

Because, yes, everything is happening as it should, for a reason. Even the dates that don’t turn into what I had initially hoped they would.

Adopting this way of thinking has led to a much more relaxed, stress-free day-to-day life. Instead of wondering why something happened, I look for what I can take from the experience. Dating has led to endless discoveries about myself, other people, the world, and perspectives I was previously unfamiliar with.

Some monumental, some minimal.

Some dating experiences are so profound they lead you to stumble down a path to mindfulness and meditation, while others have more minor impacts, like several years of free HBO because a certain someone forgot to change his cable password after he abruptly and inexplicably stopped talking to you. (Thanks man! Hope you’re well!)

I’d say a more positive, mindful outlook and free weekly dates with VEEP’s President Selena Meyer are both steps in the right direction as well as perfectly fine reasons that these experiences occurred.

I believe all moments in life—big or small, happy or sad—always provide a takeaway. Of course, the harder the journey and the tougher the struggles, the more difficult it may be to find the reason. Maybe the reason will never be apparent. Perhaps we should trust that our path took us into—and through—these situations for a reason.

Not much has changed for me these days in terms of circumstances. I still go on the occasional bad date, have unexpected bummer days, and periodically find myself in inexplicable bad moods. But instead of dwelling on these moments or trying to find the reason behind them, I accept them. I trust that what seems “bad” on the surface may be beneficial in some unapparent way.

Plus, if I always tried to find a reason, I would drive myself mad and I would have less time for my aforementioned Instagram scrolling—by the way, I need to do more sit-ups. Oh and for real, am I the only one from my graduating class who isn’t #married?

Eyes closed, deep breath.

It would be misleading and simply unrealistic to say that meditation can lead to a smooth life filled with endless happiness. I don’t believe that to be true, and I think that would be missing the point.

I’m also not officially a psychiatrist—or psychologist? I confuse the two. But whichever one would be professionally informed on this subject, I am not that. Or the other one, for that matter. So I could be totally wrong about everything that I’ve just written.

But for me, this mindfulness exploration has helped me clear out ugly thoughts and acknowledge patterns of behavior that aren’t healthy. I feel like a better person today than I was just a few years ago. I’m not nicer because I just want to be nice, but also because it’s easier.

It’s easier to be patient, kind, understanding, and humble. It takes so much energy to be mad, hold grudges, and judge. Forgiving and letting go is freeing. Holding on to anger? Exhausting and it gives me pimples.

A New(ish) Me

My biggest concern with this new journey was that I would lose my edge. I’m generally a sarcastic wise-ass. I didn’t want to become soft. And I’m not talking about physically soft, because this new journey has not yet made me less vain, as I still care far too much about my physical appearance.

But baby steps, right?

By soft I mean I didn’t want to become an emotionally mushy pushover. I roll my eyes at those people.

Yes, I know, I roll my eyes a lot. Again, one step at a time.

I’m far from perfect and still have many strides to make. I’m finding the careful balance of being a mindful, better person while not changing who I am at heart.

I still unnecessarily curse at traffic despite my most valiant efforts.

If I realize someone isn’t going to acknowledge me holding a door open, I’ll sometimes maybe probably prematurely let it go so it gently bumps them.

I am ridiculously impatient with people who stand on escalators. They aren’t lazy stairs, walk!

And I firmly believe that Arbonne is basically the Crossfit of skincare and I’m not at all interested but I’m certain you’ll breathlessly tell me about it anyway.

I am a work in progress. I’m learning every day.

I’m single. I’m happy. I’m present. And sometimes, every once in a while, yes, I’m still a jerk.

But a mindful jerk at that. And for this, I am grateful.

And I owe it all to a little dating app with the cute cartoon flame.

About Matthew Farrell

Matthew Farrell is a writer and comedian in Los Angeles, CA. He currently works as a creative content developer for a digital marketing company. His blog was once viewed by four people in a single day. He also placed 1st in a stand-up comedy competition of six people, three of whom missed their turns because they were in line for the bathroom.

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