#i just want to see neal in a toxic relationship where he breaks down in front of peter

[distracted-obsessions]

Neal would be so easily manipulated by someone who would tell him that he's more then a conman and he's loved and cared for and they want him to be around and they trust him and no one else really gets him the way they do. He knows that, right?

[emospritelet]

Heatstroke - chapter 3

These prompts arrived within minutes of each other XD

I’m open to more embarrassing and awkward prompts for these babies!

[AO3]

x

Realising that the woman who had thrown a drink over him and then disparaged the size of his manhood in the middle of Granny’s Diner was now his next door neighbour was not how Mr Gold had wanted to start his day. 

The previous evening had started badly and finished even worse. After completing his rounds he had gone home in a foul mood, trying not to remember the derisive way she had spoken of him to Miss Lucas, or the look in her eyes as she had glanced up and down his body. A toxic relationship and an acrimonious divorce years earlier had left his self-confidence battered, almost non-existent. He had worked hard to build it back up, or at least to wall himself off from others to keep them from knowing the truth. Most days he could pretend that he didn’t hate himself. Today was not one of those days.

He had gleaned from listening to her conversation with Miss Lucas that she was staying in Storybrooke. At first he had thought that perhaps she meant that she had a room at the inn. There was very little property in Storybrooke that he didn’t own, and he certainly couldn’t recall agreeing to any new tenancies. Perhaps her stay would be short-lived; what was there in Storybrooke for a young woman to do, after all? She would have more luck in Boston if she was seeking work. Whatever it was she did when she wasn’t talking about his unimpressive cock.

The following morning, he glanced out of his bedroom window and was surprised to see her in the backyard of the small house next to his, a yoga mat spread out on the grass. She was working through some poses, stretching and twisting, hands raised to the sky before folding forwards and wrapping her arms around her legs. The pose made the lilac pants she was wearing hug her buttocks, and Gold found that he was staring. He shook his head, twitching the curtain back across and going to get dressed. So. He had a new neighbour. A neighbour that had not only seen him naked but had laughed and gossiped about it in the diner. Wonderful.

The house next door to his was one of the few he didn’t own; he had been trying to convince Regina Mills to sell it to him for years, but she had refused, no doubt because she knew it would annoy him. He wondered how much she knew of the tenant, and whether this was all part of an elaborate plot to piss him off. If so, he wasn’t about to admit that it was working.

Tugging the knot in his tie straight, he looked himself over in the mirror and nodded curtly before heading downstairs. It was a coffee-for-breakfast type of morning. Two cups, and he could head to the shop and make a start on inventory. He needed to restock in a few areas, and switch some of the pieces between his home and the shop. That would take up most of the day.

He was just pouring his first cup of coffee when the phone rang, the noise shrill in the still morning. Gold frowned to himself, but as he saw who was calling he broke into a smile.

“Neal,” he said. “How are you?”

“Morning Pops.��� His son sounded a little harassed. “Sorry to catch you so early.”

“No problem. I’ve been up since six, you know me.”

“Yeah. Listen, Emma asked me to call and I figured I’d do it before work sucked my soul out of my body and left me for dead. We’re thinking of paying you a visit. Maybe next weekend?”

“Sounds good.” Gold tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder and headed for the lounge. “You’re always welcome, you know that.”

“Great! We’re just waiting for Henry to get rid of the latest cold he’s managed to pick up. Friday okay?”

“I look forward to it,” said Gold, with a broad smile, entering the lounge. “Maybe we can—”

He broke off as he saw something in the middle of the patterned rug. Something that had certainly not been there when he was drinking his whisky the previous evening. A scrap of fuchsia lace, one end just touching the leg of one of the chairs.

“Dad?” said Neal. “You there?”

“Yes yes,” said Gold vaguely. “I’m here.”

“You were saying something?” prompted Neal.

Gold put down the cup of coffee, bending to pick up the scrap of lace, his eyes widening. It was a pair of panties, if one could call them that. Little more than a triangle of pink lace with strings at the side. He held it up in bewilderment, his mind whirling.

“Dad?”

Gold shook his head, tossing the underwear onto the couch.

“Yes - uh - Friday,” he said quickly. “We can go to Granny’s if you like. I know how much you and Emma like the ribs.”

“Sounds awesome.”

“Right.” Gold found that his eyes were straying to the panties. “Uh - see you then. Love you, son. Give my love to Emma and Henry.”

“Sure thing. Love you too.”

Gold hung up, putting the phone on the coffee table and turning his attention back to the underwear. He had a sneaking suspicion that they belonged to his new neighbour. An image of her bending over in her yoga pose wearing nothing but the pink thong leapt cheerfully into his mind, and he shoved it away before it could cause too much mischief. 

He went to check the doors at the front and back of the house, frowning to himself when he found them both locked. This was getting more curious by the minute. Perhaps she thought it an amusing prank to break in and leave her underwear around the place, but he couldn’t see how she had done it without using a key, and he knew where every copy of the keys to his house were kept. He was tempted to march around to her house and demand an explanation, but he suspected that getting a rise out of him was what she wanted. She’d probably film the thing and post it on one of those stupid apps to giggle over with Miss Lucas.

Mouth flattening, he scooped up the underwear and put it in one of the drawers of his bureau. If she wanted to leave her panties around the place, he wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of letting her know it was pissing him off. She’d get bored eventually.

x

He made sure to check all the locks before he left for work, and spent a fairly enjoyable day buried in the back room of the shop, going through his stock, deciding what to display and updating his records. It was a quiet day; only two customers attended the shop and given that rent day was done, he had no tenants coming in to pay rent. He found that he enjoyed the solitude. Not that that was anything new.

By lunchtime he was hungry, and went to the diner to buy a sandwich. Miss Lucas greeted him pleasantly, as though she hadn’t been giggling with her new friend about him only the previous evening. For a moment he was tempted to ask about the woman, to at least find out her name and reason for being in Storybrooke, but pride was making him stubborn, and he bit back the question before he could ask it.

By the time he got home the sun was setting in a blaze of gold, pleasantly warm on his shoulders as he walked up the steps of his house. Locking the door behind him, he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it up, and glanced around as he heard a tinkling noise from the kitchen. Gold frowned, listening intently. There was nothing further, and he moved as quietly as he could, edging towards the kitchen, cane grasped tightly in his hand and ready to be used as a weapon if needed.

The kitchen was empty, and a quick glance around showed that nothing had been moved. Shaking his head, Gold went to fill the kettle with water for tea. He carried a cup through to the lounge when it was made, and stopped in the doorway, eyes narrowing at what was looking up at him from the rug.

Today’s offering was white, the underwear dropped casually in the middle of the rug, as though their owner had undressed quickly. As though she had been ravished in the middle of his lounge. Gold put down his tea, using the cane to hook through the waistband of the panties. They were small, with a mesh triangle at the back and a lace waistband and front with a tiny satin bow in the middle. Whoever owned the panties was petite, which ruled out a number of possible candidates in the town. Gold’s suspicions still tended towards his new neighbour, but he currently had no proof. Nor a motive. Nor an explanation for how she was getting into his house. 

Growling under his breath, he shoved them in the bureau drawer with the other pair and stomped back through to the kitchen, where he stopped dead. A black cat was sitting in the middle of the floor, staring at him with jade-green eyes. It was a handsome creature, its fur shining, long tail wound around its feet and a blue collar with a bell around its neck. On the floor beside it was another lace thong, this one a pretty powder blue, and Gold looked from the cat to the panties to the cat flap in the kitchen door, realisation dawning. He grounded the cane between his feet, fixing the cat with as stern a look as he could manage.

“So,” he said. “This is your doing, is it?”

The cat let out a faint miaow, pink mouth showing sharp white teeth.

“You do realise that these are neither my colour nor my style, hmm?” added Gold. “Perhaps you should take them home.”

The cat mewed again, getting to its feet and stepping forward to wind around his shins. Gold bit back a grin.

“No point trying to get into my good books,” he said. “I have to think of a way to get this underwear back without crossing paths with its owner. Unless you’ve got any bright ideas, go on home.”

The cat was purring, butting its head against his legs, and Gold bent to scratch its ears, receiving a nuzzle in response. He picked up the panties while he was at it, stuffing them into his pocket, and the cat trotted off to the cat flap, tail flicking as he disappeared through it. Gold shook his head. At least he knew who the intruder was now. He just needed to return the underwear.

[dancingships]

Regina’s BFF Awards : Season 3

3x01 Heart of the Truest Believer

Regina: And what, you'll win her over with your rainbow kisses and unicorn stickers?! Mary Margret: Considering that your plan failed, at least we could try! Regina: You're such a naive princess! Mary Margret: And you are such a... ::punches Regina:: Regina: Huh. Is that your best? Mary Margret: Not even close! I am so tired of you ruining my life! Regina: I ruined your life?

Regina, you lost a boyfriend. But I suppose asking you to think about anyone else is too much, huh? But how dare Snow suggest that losing her entire family ruined her life? The nerve, right? Its not like Emma had to grow up an orphan or anything...

Emma jumps over board so that everyone will stop fighting and focus on getting her back on deck - because if they don’t stop fighting, they will all die.

Regina’s response? She calls Emma an idiot.

So, Regina, what would you have done to get everyone’s attention? Lit the masts on fire?

3x02 Lost Girl

Regina once again proving that she doesn’t believe in Emma. At all. She can’t and wont listen to anyone else.

Emma: If I'm the one who's supposed to figure out this thing, I need to do what Pan said. Regina: Great.

She thinks her “better idea” of using magic is going to get them to Henry faster.

Snow: That’s OK you’ll (Emma) figure it out. Regina: No, you won’t but I can. .... Well, Emma, you said you wanted to be the leader. Lead.

What a manipulator. Yeah, after you grabbed the parchment and went against the rules you want her to lead where you want her to go Regina.

Emma was forced to thank a very smug Regina a bit too prematurely though, wasn’t she? Because what did Regina breaking the rules get them? Into an ambush that leaves David poisoned by Dreamshade.

You know whose advice Emma is listening to? Killian’s. And why not? He not only knows Neverland but respects her as a human being. Regina can’t even respect her as Henry’s other mother let alone a leader.

3x03 Quite A Common Fairy

Of course it is immediately Emma’s fault. But hey, look who isn’t doubting Emma and promptly comes to her defense?

I will give her a half a point for apologizing after both Emma & Snow call her out but of course it isn’t her fault... she’s just worried about Henry. No, Regina, truth is you’re just a bitch 24/7.

3x06 Ariel

“And you’re a monster” - I miss this Emma.

Funny how Killian didn’t need to insult her in S5 to help her light the flame... but Regina? Yeah. She jumps right to the verbal abuse.

3x09 Save Henry

Emma: (To Neal) You were a Lost Boy. Any idea where he went? Neal: Well, I, I know where he lived. Where his compound... Regina: That's idiotic. We all know that. Think he's stupid enough to go back? Please. Emma: Enough. Regina: Don't tell me what's enough. My son is dying! Emma: Our son. So, yes, I know how you feel. Regina: You have no idea what I feel. You have your parents. You have this— (Gestures at Neal) —person; a pirate who pines for you. You have everything and yet you claim to know what I feel? All I have is Henry and I'm not about to lose him because he is everything. Emma: You're right. I don't know what you feel. So what do you want to do? You want to run the show? Run it. How do we save Henry? Regina: I don't know. Neal: Even if we can find Pan, he was probably powerful before without Henry's heart. I-I don't know if we can hurt him. Regina: Yes, we can. Look. You nicked him. He can bleed. We can hurt him. And if we can hurt him, we can kill him. And we will.

It’s always about Regina, isn’t? Because she is so unhealthily co-dependent on her son then Emma’s feelings do not matter? Because Emma has other people in her life she can’t possibly love Henry just as much? Only a complete self absorbed person says things like this.

Lets focus on how Emma handles this.. instead of striking back and wasting time she lets Regina have her way in hopes of fueling a plan of action. But Regina doesn’t have a plan. She only has whining about “me me me”.

And then my personal favorite:

She would destroy Emma’s life again in a heartbeat and hurt Henry all over again with her curse if it meant that SHE could get what SHE wanted. Always about Regina.

3x10 The New Neverland

Regina’s jealousy over Emma's relationship with Henry will rise again in S6 over Henry & Violet’s song.

3x11 Going Home

She can’t be honest.

Stop acting like you just “wanted her to leave”. If this is an apology it’s a bunch of crap. You wanted her DEAD. Leaving wasn't good enough.

Yes, Regina gives her happy memories but she does this for Henry without truly acknowledging that this is all her fault.

This would not be happening if 1) She hadn’t tried to destroy the town and kill everyone in it to begin with 2) Regina had listened to Emma about Henry/Pan and 3) She hadn’t cast this curse in the first place.

Regina goes on to whine and moan about her own pain but never once stopping to think that she just ripped Snowing away from their daughter. AGAIN.

3x13 Witch Hunt

I honestly just can’t.

I don’t know how Emma keeps her cool with this woman.

I know Regina means for *herself* it is worse but there’s a few problematic things here.

1) Regina has never had to live under any of her curses. Her curses turned a man into her sex slave for 28 years, ripped families apart & made people sleep with people they wouldn’t have normally chosen to sleep with.

2) Henry not remembering her is peanuts compared to Emma who was ripped away from her parents and wondered for 28 years why they didn’t want her.

But what does Regina care about that? It’s always about Regina.

3x14 The Tower

Emma thinks it is a good idea to search Regina’s office for physical evidence of Zelena’s whereabouts.

Per usual, Emma’s ideas are promptly dismissed as foolish. She did this a lot in Neverland in regards to how Emma wanted to handle the map and going after Neal. Which they, at the time, thought Neal was the only way to read a map to get them off the island. So finding him wasn’t that stupid.

3x17 Jolly Roger

She just gets through saying how Rumple’s methods were “bullying” then proceeds to follow his example? Mmmmmmmkay. Makes perfect sense.

At least she recognizes Emma’s potential but Regina can’t ever stop talking because she then continues to berate her. Why not a little congratulations? Why not lift up Emma’s confidence instead of tearing her down for being late to the “oh I’ve got magic lets use it!” party? She needed time. I don’t recall Regina rushing to learn magic like her mother. She resisted at first too.

This is part of an OUAT BFF Award series that was inspired over the vile names I’ve been called because I refuse to see Regina’s toxic behavior as friendship. Emma & Regina are merely two people who are thrown together because they love Henry.

3x22 There’s No Place Like Home

Just like her mother as in both were trying to help people but instead get vilified for it? Yeah, I can see that.

Again it’s all about Regina... never mind that a happy reunion between mother and son is taking place right behind her.

[justanoutlawfic]

Taking Back My Life: Chapt. 3

Story Summary: Hook stayed in the Underworld and Emma refused to find a way to move on. When Regina saves her from the Wish Realm and she runs into that Hook, she brings him home. With the help of her family, she slowly realizes that this isn't the man she fell for...and maybe that's a good thing. Slowly, Emma learns how to let go of her toxic relationship and focus on herself.

Chapter Summary: We learn David and Snow’s true feelings about their daughter’s late boyfriend and her actions over the past few weeks. Meanwhile, Rook is conflicted between his true self and not breaking Emma’s heart. Regina also forms an unexpected ally.

Also on AO3

Emma was looking at this new version of Hook as if he hung the moon.

 It scared the shit out of Snow.

 She could remember the first time she had met Killian. He was pretending to be the sole survivor of a massacre-one that he had helped orchestrate. It wasn’t long before Emma saw through his bullshit. He left them for dead and nearly caused them to not be reunited with their family. He had put them through so much pain, just barely helping at times. Sure, he had assisted with them getting Henry back from Neverland and Baelfire had sent him to get Emma from New York, but that didn’t make up for all the pain he had caused.

 A month ago, she had faced the reality that she was going to die. She was going to miss out on her son growing up, just as she had her daughter. Killian had marked them all for death, all because he was angry at Emma. He was going to kill her, her husband, even her grandson. Emma would be left alone to raise Neal, the darkness still plaguing her heart. He sacrificed his life for what he did and that seemed to be a proper ending for him. Snow’s heart broke for her daughter’s sadness, but she wasn’t that sad to see Hook go.

 Yet, Emma wanted to fight for him and Snow had gone along with it. She had thought about David, all she would do to save his life, all she had done. She had risked her life-Neal’s life-to bring him back to life in the Enchanted Forest. It had been reckless and she didn’t regret it for a second, but she realized the impact it had on her daughter. Snow hadn’t been able to let go, so how could she expect Emma to?

 When their mission failed though, she assumed that Emma would find a way to move on. They’d convince her to see Archie, they’d do anything. There was so much hope in her heart when she moved out of that house and back into the loft.

 Now, here stood someone that would get in between her daughter’s healing process, even if he didn’t realize it.

 David slid his hand through her own. Regina and Robin had gone home to their kids, leaving the two of them plus Neal, Emma and Wish Hook outside Granny’s. They shared a heart, but even long before they had, he could always tell what was on her mind. He had the same fears, the same guilt.

 Killian had never been his favorite person and he never thought he was good enough for Emma. Things were complicated, though. It wasn’t like she was a teenager, a child he had raised. She was a 30 year old woman by the time she started dating Killian, old enough to make her own choices. He played the role of the overprotective father and many thought it was that he didn’t like her with any man, but that wasn’t true. Sure, it was hard to blink and see his daughter have another man in her life, but he had accepted that.

 He had liked Baelfire, he had hoped maybe they could work it out not just for Henry’s sake-but their own. Emma had told him about Walsh and the kind of man he had been before he turned into a flying monkey and if that had been real, he would’ve approved of that too. No, this wasn’t because Emma was his daughter and he didn’t want her dating…he didn’t want her with Hook.

 Much like Snow, though, he sucked it up and respected her choices. He had followed Emma to the Underworld not to save him, but to help her. He had a feeling it wouldn’t end well, but knew she would need her father if something went wrong. It was partially why he changed the grave so Snow could head home early. He knew that Snow could comfort her just as well as he could, but she had always been there to do that. It was his turn.

 Emma had betrayed them in the name of Hook. It hurt and they’d never tell her that. She lied to them, told them that they failed when they couldn’t remember. The truth was, they had let her down a lot since she came back from New York. First, Snow’s reaction to her magic and then how they lied to her about Maleficent. They had failed her and were trying to be better parents. They spent so much time feeling anxiety over what they had done.

 But it was all a lie, a way for Emma to hide what she had done to Hook and what he had done to Merlin.

 They never thought they would say it…but they were disappointed in her. They had forgiven her since then and weren’t angry, but that betrayal had run deep. They never thought that Emma could hurt them so badly. She knew she had learned her lesson, she had admitted everything she had done was a mistake. They thought they could all move on and heal.

 Now, here stood a version of Hook that was alive, well and possibly different.

 What were they going to do now? How was she supposed to move on when a man who looked just like the person she gave up everything for?

 “I don’t think that the loft has enough room for you,” Emma said, interrupting their thoughts.

“We still have the Jolly Roger,” David pointed out. “Perhaps, you’d feel comfortable on there, Hook.”

“The bunks are so small.” Emma made a face. “I know, I never actually sold my old house. I still have it, you can stay there. I still have the other Killian’s old clothes there.”

 Hook looked unsure. His face had lit up at the thought of being reunited with his Jolly, but clearly he didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Emma had brought him back here and was vowing to help him, how could he turn her down?

“That sounds good,” he said, finally, though his face said something else entirely.

“I’ll go with you, help you get settled in.”

“Emma…” Snow gave her a gentle look and bit her lip when Emma looked confused. “Are you going to be coming home tonight?”

“I’ll probably stay with Killian tonight, he’s new here, the toaster would probably scare him.”

 Snow and David wanted to tell her no, demand she go back to the loft, prevent any more pain. Then they remembered what Regina said, she had to figure this out on her own.

 “Okay,” David said, finally. “Well, if you need us, you know where we’ll be.”

Emma nodded and kissed his cheek, doing the same for her mom and brother. “See you guys later.”

 They watched her walk off to her bug and felt a sinking feeling in their stomachs. It didn’t feel right to let her make this mistake, but what else were they supposed to do?

Killian sat in the weird metal carriage as Emma drove him through the dark streets of Storybrooke. He had been to many lands throughout the centuries he had lived, but none had been as strange as this.

 They passed the beach and out of the corner of his eye, he could see the docks and his ship…or in this case, the one that belonged to the other version of him. He would try to find his way there that night, once Emma had gone to sleep. She was being so nice to him, but he had to see it. He had given his own to Smee after Alice was born and after they were separated, Smee was gone…and so was his ship.

 Soon, they reached a big blue house. It wasn’t as large as the palaces he had seen, but it definitely had something on the small inns he had crashed in over the years. Emma lead him inside and up a flight of stairs. Flipping on the lights, she showed him a rather large bedroom. It had a four poster bed and bunch of boxes spread out.

 “We never got the chance to unpack,” she explained. She walked over and rooted through them, pulling out a pair of pajama pants and a worn t-shirt. “Here, this should fit.”

Killian nodded. “I appreciate all your help, Emma.”

“It’s no problem.”

She was looking at him in a way no one had in quite some time. It was different than the adoration that Alice once had for him, something akin to how Milah once had. She was in love with him…or at least who she thought he was. Yet, he wasn’t him. That version of him never gave up his mission for revenge and had nearly killed her entire family.

 After Alice, he vowed to only treat a woman how he’d want her to be treated. How could he let her down gently? The woman in front of him had lost so much, she was fragile.

 “I um, better change.”

Emma snapped out of it and nodded. “Right, of course. I’ll be in the room next door if you need anything.”

 He watched her leave and changed. He waited an hour until he heard the soft snoring come through the walls and snuck out of the house, down to the Jolly. It looked the same and he was hit by all the memories, good and bad. Making his way down to the lower deck, he found a journal sitting next to an unlit candle. Fumbling around with his good hand, he found a match and lit it.

 It wasn’t spying if it was himself, right?

Regina pulled her Cadillac in front of Zelena’s farmhouse. She had visitation rights to Bryony, her and Robin’s daughter, but this wasn’t one of those times. In fact, Regina wasn’t there to see her sister. No, she was there to see her new roommate.

 According to Archie, when the Queen had kidnapped him, this was where she had taken him. She’d have to talk with her sister about aiding such crimes, but that was the least of her problems in that moment.

 “Come out, I know you’re watching me,” she said once she had gotten out of her car.

The Queen emerged from behind a tree, smirking. “I had a feeling you’d be stopping by.”

“I know that Wish Realm was created by you and Emma’s wish.”

“Not necessarily,” she said. “That realm has always existed. There’s an alternate reality for every version of events. I did slightly alter it by sending Emma there.”

“Including having a younger version of Hook?”

The Queen looked bewildered. “No, that’s one thing I made sure of. Emma wished for a world where she could be the person that Hook wanted…but I didn’t want them together. I made sure he was an old man.”

“Well, something happened because he’s back here and younger than ever.”

“That can’t be right.”

 Regina saw something in her other half that she hadn’t since they split: caring for someone. That’s when she realized that this part of herself still harbored hate for Snow, but cared deeply for her daughter. After all, this was still their best friend.

 “Well, it is. How is Emma supposed to move on with this other version of Captain Guyliner running around?” Regina asked.

“I don’t know,” the Queen admitted.

“I know you want to get your revenge on Snow, but can’t you see what’s important here? Vengeance only turns you into what the other Hook became. Please.” Regina stepped closer. “You know deep down that we’ve changed. We can help this Hook…and Emma.”

 Conflict flickered over the Queen’s eyes, but eventually, she let out a sigh.

 “I’ve waited decades to kill Snow White, I suppose it can wait a little longer.”

 It was a start and that was all Regina could ask for.

[lilacmoon83]

Midnight Musings

@onceuponafestivegifting; @marymargaret

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to marymargaret! I'm your Secret Santa for Once Upon a Festive Giving Thing on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy this story! Happy New Year! You expressed your love for AU's so I packed several little AU scenarios into this story!

It's been several years of peace in Storybrooke and the Charmings have their Happy Beginnings. But during the holidays, it's always easy to think about what ifs. Four New Year's Eve dreams reveal what could have been if some things had gone differently.

Also, Hook is mentioned briefly and it’s not in a favorable light. You’ve been warned.

Midnight Musings

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, the streamers and use of noisemakers increased at Granny's New Year's Eve party. It had been three years since the final battle and Storybrooke was peaceful. It had been quite a ride to get where they were and though none of them would have changed a thing, they were always left wondering what if, especially around the holidays.

After Hook left when she discovered he killed Robert, her father's father, she had been heartbroken. But she soon realized that her broken heart was more at the realization that what they had wasn't true love than losing him. It was no secret that she wanted what her parents had, but once Hook left, she had finally taken her father's advice to properly grieve. And once she did that, she felt relief and realized that while Neal, her first true love was dead, she had her other true love all along in her son. And for the time being, that was enough for Emma. She took her parents advice and got counselling from Archie to work through all her issues when she realized how toxic her relationship with Hook had been. Her relationship with Regina, their son, her parents, and baby brother had never been better.

Still, despite all their happiness, they wondered how things might have turned out if Snow had made it through the wardrobe with her or better yet both of them had made it through with her. Snow and David wondered from time to time as well about those things and what could have been if they had gone through that door or they made it through together as originally planned.

As midnight struck, Emma hugged her son close and they rolled their eyes, as her parents shared a kiss under the falling confetti. Little did any of them know, a twilight wish on New Year's Eve would be interesting dreams that night…

Snow's dream…

They were here. It was finally time. Twenty-eight long years spent without her husband. She had come to this world with nothing, heart brokenly leaving Charming behind to face the curse. She had been livid to find out that Charming could have come with her when she found little Pinocchio waiting for her when she came through. She wasn't angry at the little boy, of course, but at the people that were supposed to be her friends.

She understood why Geppetto had done it, wanting to protect his child, but the years without Charming had been hard and lonely.

Upon coming to this land, they found a homeless shelter where Emma was born and she had spent a few years there, as she had no documentation. Once she got the required documents, she found a job as a waitress. It was hard and for a long time, they had almost nothing.

Eventually, she managed to get a very small apartment for her and her kids. She waitressed, often taking double shifts, while Emma and August, the name they had decided on as an identity for Pinocchio, went to school.

When he was a teenager, August left to explore the world on his own. He had gone from a sweet boy to a frustrated teen. It had been very difficult for Snow, who now went by Mary Swan. His father wasn't here to blame, so his anger was taken out on Mary.

Emma was her rock though. Emma was so much like Charming that it made her both elated and ache at the same time. Emma believed and though she tried to make sure her daughter didn't see her cry, Emma knew how hard it was for her mother. And though Snow had never wanted Emma to feel the burden of responsibility, her daughter was ready to fight the Queen for what she had done to them.

She and Emma had grown even closer when August left them and when Emma, who had developed quite the knack for finding people became a bail bonds person, Mary had gladly followed her baby to live in Boston. And when her daughter got swept off her feet and then dumped just as fast by one Neal Cassidy, who she had been hired to find, Mary was there to comfort her daughter.

Emma's son was born nine months later and they loved him more than anything. Emma insisted on naming him David, after the father she knew so much about, yet had never met. Snow was so touched that it made her cry.

The years touched Snow gently, much to her thankfulness and she decided to use the available advantages in this realm, keeping her hair dyed black to hide the gray.

So when they stepped into Storybrooke on their first day and found that no one had aged in twenty-eight years, Snow was glad that time had been kind to her, especially when they stepped into Granny's Diner that morning.

"Hi...can I help you?" her best friend, who hadn't changed at all, asked. Though the attire she was wearing was nothing that Red would have ever been caught dead in.

"Three hot chocolates with cinnamon to start us, please," Emma answered for her mother, who was too stunned, as she looked around the diner, finding people she loved. But these people whom had been her friends only gave her blank stares in return.

"Mom...are you going to be okay?" Emma whispered.

"Mmm...I'll be fine, honey," she answered automatically, as her grandson looked around curiously.

"Do you see him Grams?" he asked curiously.

"I…" she started to say, as the bell chimed behind them.

"David...the usual?" Ruby asked flirtatiously.

"Sure...thanks Ruby," he replied in a voice she hadn't heard in twenty-eight years. Her knees went weak and her mouth felt like a desert, as she turned around and let her eyes soak him up.

Gods...the man hadn't changed. This David seemed a little unsure and less confident that her Charming, but it was him. Emma didn't miss the captivation on his face when he looked at her mother and it made her excited. This was him...her father, the man her mother had pined for her entire life. She could see her features in him and her obvious coloring that came from him.

"Hi...I'm David!" her son spoke up. He smiled and Snow felt her breath catch. She had seen that smile in her daughter so many times, but seeing it on him once again made her want to cry in joy.

"How about that? My name is David too. I don't think I've seen you here before," he mentioned.

"We're new in town. He's my son and I'm Emma," she said, as they shook hands and he seemed struck by the name.

"Emma...that's a beautiful name," he mentioned, as his eyes kept wandering back to Mary.

"This is my Mom, Mary," Emma prodded, trying to snap her mother out of her daze.

"Mary…" he uttered.

"It's nice to meet you David," she finally managed, as they shook hands and they both felt the spark between them.

"Yeah…I'm sorry, but have we met before?" he asked.

"It certainly feels like it," she replied, as they remained captivated by each other. Of course, that's when their moment was shattered.

"What the hell is this?" Regina snapped, as she entered the diner.

"Regina…" Mary uttered. The Mayor's eyes widened slightly, as the woman she had hoped she was rid of forever was before her again...twenty-eight years older. A smirk marred her coldly beautiful features.

"Well, well, I wondered when you'd show up," Regina said coldly, as she looked at David.

"David, I think Kathryn is waiting for you," she urged. Snow watched her husband look away from the cold stare of the Mayor. Everyone cowered before her, just like she wanted. This was her happy ending, after all.

"Of course...it was nice to meet you," he said, giving her a longing look, as he left the diner. Regina laughed.

"This...this has made my day. Snow White has come to find her husband, only to find that he's twenty-eight years her junior now," Regina joked.

"Shut the hell up," Emma growled.

"Who the hell are you?" Regina snapped.

"Oh I think you know exactly who I am, Madam Mayor," Emma growled. The slight widening of Regina's irises were the only indication of her worry, as she put on a mask of indifference.

"If you think you stand a chance against me in my own town, you're delusional. As delusional as your over the hill mother is if she thinks she has a chance with David here. He's a married man," Regina goaded and Snow felt her heart break, as Regina's coffee was delivered to her promptly.

"Have a lovely day, dear," she goaded, as she left. Emma felt her own heart crack at the broken look on her mother's face.

"Hey kid, why don't you go sit at the bar and drink your hot chocolate and I'll be right back," Emma suggested. Her son nodded.

"Okay Mom...is Grams okay?" he asked with concern. She forced a smile.

"She's going to be fine," Emma said, as she led her mother outside the diner.

"Mom…" she said.

"He's married…" Mary cried.

"Yes he is, Mom. He's married to you," Emma insisted.

"Whatever farce of a marriage Regina has forced him into here means nothing compared to what he has with you," Emma implored.

"Honey…" Mary protested.

"No Mom...you've told me about him my whole life. He's not himself under the curse and I may be the Savior, but only you can get him back! Did you see the way he was looking at you? No happily married man looks at another woman like that," Emma insisted.

"It doesn't matter...he's still so young and I'm old," Mary said, as she broke down in tears. Emma pulled her into a hug.

"No...no, you listen to me, Mom. You are so beautiful...and you have been wronged in a way no one should ever be wronged. She's stole everything from you...from us. And now, we are here to take it back," Emma said passionately.

"You sound just like him," she choked back a sob.

"So you've told me and I'd really like to meet him...the real him. He's yours Mom...you need take him back," Emma insisted. Snow sniffed and wiped her tears away, drawing strength from her baby. That same strength she had once drawn from Charming.

"Dad won't care that you're older...hell, he doesn't even care as he is now. I could tell…" Emma insisted. Snow wiped her tears and Emma hugged her.

"You're right…" Snow said finally, as Emma saw the fire return to her mother's eyes.

"I'm going to get my husband back," Snow decided. Emma smiled.

"You are...he couldn't keep his eyes off you. You're still hot, Mom," Emma said, nudging her playfully. Snow smirked. And she knew all the moves that would work on her Charming, even as he was now.

"I'm going to seduce your father," Snow announced, as she hooked her arm on her daughter.

"Okaaay...not something I need hear," Emma complained.

"Regina is going down," Snow said. Emma smirked. She loved that her mother was also her best friend.

"Hell yeah she is. Oh, and I was looking in the paper. There's an empty loft for rent. Seems perfect for the three of us...eventually four," Emma said, as she handed the paper to her mother.

"Then I guess we have an apartment to rent," Snow said, as they went back inside and got their hot chocolates to go.

"Come on, kid," Emma called, as her son hopped down and took her hand.

"Mom...is Gramps gonna remember soon?" David asked.

"I hope so, kid," she replied. Snow twirled her ring on her finger.

"He will...we're going to get him back," Snow assured her grandson.

And she had done just that. As it turned out, David's "marriage" wasn't good and she had easily lured him back to her. Of course, it was seen as scandalous and they caused quite an uproar in town. She had been called every name in the book, but eventually Emma did it after Regina's plan to get her to eat a poisoned apple turnover backfired and little David ate it instead. True love from Emma broke the curse and everyone's memories were returned. But more than that, the magic of the curse returned her youth, de-aging Snow and giving her back those lost years to have with Charming.

David's Dream…

Snow held the poppy up, the one that had brought them back to each other much earlier than expected. Charming nodded, as they joined hands and the poppy glowed brightly. A door appeared before them and opened. Once the haze cleared, they saw a beautiful little blonde girl.

"Oh..." Charming uttered.

"She's beautiful," he said. But then her surroundings came into view and they were horrified by what they saw. Their baby, shivering and alone, trying to keep warm by a fire.

"Oh Gods..." Snow cried.

"We have to go...we have to go to her," Charming urged.

"Yes...but Charming, if we do, we might condemn our people to Regina's curse forever," Snow warned.

"But you have your memories of this world," he reminded.

"Don't you see, Snow...we can come back for them with Emma when it's time!" he exclaimed. Snow paused, thinking about what she knew about this world. It wouldn't be easy, but they could make their way in this world and then find Storybrooke again when it was time. She had Mary Margaret's possessions with her and she could clean out what meager savings she had managed to build. It wasn't much, but it would get them started.

"Okay..." Snow said, looking at her husband. He grinned.

"Okay..." he repeated, as she looked at the potion in her hand and then tossed it to the ground. Screw Rumpelstiltskin and screw Regina. They would get their baby back now and return to save their people. They joined hands and stepped through the doorway. The glow faded and they now stood under that bridge.

Emma and another youth stared at them in disbelief.

"Your Majesties...how?" the boy uttered and Charming looked at him with scrutiny.

"You know us?" he asked suspiciously.

"In...in this land, I'm known as August, but in ours, I was Pinocchio," he revealed. Emma looked at the three people like they were crazy.

"Emma...it's okay, we're your parents," Snow said.

"You're lying! My parents left me on the side of the road!" Emma cried.

"No Emma...that's just where you came through. Your parents sent you to this world to escape a terrible curse. I know, because my father sent me right before you," August pleaded with her.

"The Blue Fairy told us that wardrobe only took one," Charming said, his jaw clenching.

"She lied to you and so did my father. He was just trying to save me," August said.

"You're all crazy!" Emma cried.

"No Emma...please believe us. Giving you up was the last thing we ever wanted to do," Snow pleaded.

"She's right...your mother was supposed to come through with you, but things didn't go as planned," David continued.

"We've loved you since the moment we knew you existed," Snow cried, tearing up. Emma looked between them, trying hard not to see her features in them. She knew when people were lying and they weren't, or at least they believed what they were telling her was the truth. But there was something else in the way they looked at her. She had only seen people look at a child like this when she had seen other children get adopted from the group home. She was taken aback, for she never expected anyone to look at her like that.

"Mommy?" she asked uncertainly. Snow nodded eagerly, as the tears started to fall down her cheeks.

"Daddy?" she asked and he nodded, as the tears slipped down his cheeks too.

"Where were you?" she asked.

"Trapped..." Snow replied.

"Trapped where?" Emma asked.

"In a place with no happy endings by an Evil Queen. But she's not going to hurt us anymore. We escaped," David said. Snow squeezed his hand.

"Charming..." she chided.

"What? It's the truth," he insisted.

"I know, but you don't know what this world is like. This land...they think we're just stories here," Snow warned.

"She's right...pretty watered down versions of the stories too," August added. He looked at them.

"I don't know about any of that. But I know our lives have been pretty real," he said, as he spotted a flash of white by Emma's bag.

"That blanket...you still have it?" he asked. She picked up her blanket and looked back at him.

"Oh...you still have it. We had this made for you when we found out I was pregnant," Snow said, as she touched the blanket and then broke down in tears. Charming put his arms around her and kissed her hair. Emma watched the couple with scrutiny and slowly stepped closer to them, as they continued to stare at her with love and awe. She leaned in and they swept her into their arms in a relieved hug, both pressing kisses to her hair. Charming cradled her head and they held her tightly. August looked on with a happy, but wistful gaze, as he slowly turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Snow asked.

"I...I don't know, just moving on I guess," he replied uncertainly.

"No...you don't have to be alone anymore. We're all refugees from a lost land. I'd say that's a really good reason to stick together," Charming said.

"You want me to come with you?" he asked.

"You're Geppetto's son. It's only right that we care for you when he can't," Snow replied.

"She's right. Besides, we have a curse to break in eighteen years and now Emma doesn't have to go it alone," Charming added.

"You think we can find the town again?" August asked curiously.

"Well, we have eighteen years to figure it out. In the meantime, we'll need to find a way to live," Charming replied.

"When Regina finds out we're missing, she may give your photos out to the police outside Storybrooke," August warned.

"Then what do you suggest? You know this world better than us," Charming said.

"We should cross the border into Canada. There's lot of small, rural towns up there where they'll never find us, especially with a fake last name," August said.

"How do we get there?" Charming asked. August looked at Snow.

"He just woke up from a coma. He doesn't have any of the fake memories of this world that I do," Snow told him. August chuckled. Teaching the prince about this land would be interesting for sure.

"Bus tickets are fairly cheap, but we need a good last name for the three of you," he said.

"Swan," Emma chimed in and they looked at her. August grinned.

"Swan...like from the ugly duckling," he said.

"Swan it is then. Mary, David, and Emma Swan," Snow said. David smiled and picked their little girl up.

"You're never going to be alone again, princess," he promised, as he kissed her forehead. Tears filled her eyes and she wrapped her little arms around his neck. He joined hands with his wife and together, with August in tow, they started out to begin their new lives together.

Emma's Dream

The peaceful forests of Maine were suddenly interrupted by an explosion, in which a large tree trunk came apart, bark falling away. A man kicked away the tree and climbed out, revealing him to be tall, shockingly handsome, and dressed in garb that could only be described as something royalty in a time long passed might wear. He reached back into the tree and lifted a beautiful woman in a long white dress out, as he gently put her on her feet. The woman was heavily pregnant, with hair black as night, lips red as blood, and skin white as snow.

"Did we make it?" she asked, her breath visible in the cold night air.

"It would appear so," he responded, as he huddled her close, quickly shedding his red cloak to wrap around her.

"What do we do now?" Snow asked. Blue had warned them that this land would be strange, the people, the customs, the clothing, everything and they would be completely out of their element. They had not come empty handed, for they had brought quite a large sum of gold with them in Charming's satchel he had slung over his shoulder. But they had no idea if gold was even valued in this land like it was in theirs. He took her hand.

"We'll figure it out, my darling. As long as we're together," he assured, as they began walking through the woods.

They came upon what appeared to be a road, but neither of them had ever seen a road so smooth. Suddenly there was a pair of lights and Snow gasped as a very strange looking carriage without horses zoomed passed them at what they were certain was an unsafe speed. Charming held her tightly, as they watched it with awe.

"I...I thought this was the Land Without Magic," Snow said. Charming had no answers for her, but put on a brave front as he always did. He walked on the side closest to the road, keeping her tucked closely to his right side, as they continued on the shoulder of the road. It was only a few miles until they saw lights. They were suspended in the air by strange gray posts. Though it was like no village they had ever seen, it seemed like it was this realm's version of one.

Ahead of them, there was an establishment of sorts. There were people inside and he gripped her hand tightly. It was time to learn more about this strange world by interacting with the people that lived here. Snow was eternally grateful that she hadn't been forced to come through alone with Emma. She didn't know what she would do in a strange place without her beloved beside her.

Sure, she had survived many hardships on her own when she was on the run from Regina, but that had been when it was only her she had to worry about.

Now she had their child depending on her and there had been discussion that if Emma had come early, she would have had to leave Charming behind.

Thankfully, that had not been the case and now they would face whatever came their way like they did with everything...together.

Three years later…

"And she was beyond hope, her slumber eternal. Then, a wave of pure magic swept through the land, bringing light to the darkness. And she drew breath once again, looking up into the blue eyes of her true love. He had found her, as he promised, in her darkest hour and broke her curse. And he placed his mother's ring on her finger, stating he never wanted off her finger again and proposed to wed her," Snow read from the old, brown leather bound book.

Sometime around Emma's third birthday, she had found the old book in a pile of things in one of the back rooms in the diner. It was as if it had appeared out of nowhere. She showed her husband, stunning him as well and they presented the book to Emma for her birthday.

"Mommy...did Snow White and Prince Charming live happily ever after?" Emma asked. Mary smiled and stroked her daughter's blonde hair.

"They did. They got married and had a little baby girl, whom they cherished above all," Mary replied.

"They lived in their castle and the Queen didn't get them?" Emma asked.

."Actually no...the Queen did come for them. But they thwarted her again by escaping to a new world," Mary replied. Emma frowned.

"But I thought you said they lived happily ever after?" Emma asked in confusion.

"Oh, but they did sweetheart. You see Emma, sometimes happy endings aren't always what they think they will be. Snow White and Prince Charming escaped to save their baby from the Evil Queen, for their daughter would grow to be very powerful someday and vanquish the Queen," Mary explained.

"They came to a new place, where they were no longer a prince and princess. They owned very little, but they had their love and their baby and it was all they needed to be happy. Castles and riches meant very little to them next to each other and their little one," Mary explained, as she brushed her fingers through her baby's blonde hair. Emma looked at her curiously.

"Mommy...are you daddy the prince and princess?" she asked curiously. Mary smiled and kissed her hair, winking at her. It had been difficult to acclimate to this world and they worked hard for almost nothing. But their love and their daughter would get them through it all and someday, they would find their people again.

Henry's Dream…

Six-year-old Henry Swan knew his family was a bit different from other families. He knew he was different as well. That wasn't always easy, because other kids could be really mean. But Henry rather liked that his family was different. Mommy always said it was because they were special and he liked that.

They even played a special game. At home, he called his grandparents Grams and Gramps. But at school or in public, he called them Aunt Mary and Uncle David. It was a curious thing to Henry, but Mommy said it was because Grams and Gramps didn't look old enough to be grandparents. Henry didn't really know any different. To him, Grams and Gramps looking the same age as Mommy didn't seem all that strange. That's just the way it was.

So, he started paying attention to other kids' grandparents in public and at school functions. And Mommy was right. Grams and Gramps didn't look at all old like other grandparents. And it seemed most grandpa's didn't play with their grandsons as much. His Gramps played all kinds of games with him all the time.

Yep, his family was different and Henry thought he had figured out why. He loved reading his big book of stories his Mom had given him. Gramps liked to call the stories history, whatever that meant. He had strongly suspected before, but today had clinched it. He was almost certain that his Grams and Gramps were Snow White and Prince Charming from his book. And even at six, Henry knew it sounded crazy, but it would certainly explain everything.

Grams and Gramps were still young. Maybe that meant they were cursed like it said would happen in the book. Gramps even had a scar on his chin like Prince Charming in the book. Today, they were in the park near his favorite wishing fountain and though there was no music, Grams and Gramps were dancing together. Mommy looked embarrassed and people were kind of staring. Some were giving them smiles, others were poking fun at them, which he didn't think was nice. But Grams and Gramps didn't seem to notice, probably cause they couldn't stop looking at each other. He wished he knew for sure, but Mommy never gave him a very clear answer. Then Henry got an idea. He would make a wish.

"Mommy...can I make a wish?" Henry asked. Emma smiled and put a quarter in his small hand.

"Sure kid, why don't you wish your grandparents had a little shame," she joked. He had no idea what that meant, but he knew you weren't supposed to tell your wishes aloud.

"Mom...it won't come true if you tell people," he chided. Emma chuckled.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Emma replied. Henry closed his eyes and threw the coin into the fountain. He opened his eyes and glanced over to his grandparents. He gasped, as he saw them change. Grams was in a brilliant white gown and her hair was long and curly. Gramps was in princely red coat, black riding pants and boots, exactly like Prince Charming wore in the book. Henry grinned. That was the moment he knew the stories they told him, though fantastical, were true and Henry was glad they were special, even if no one could understand.

A few days later, Emma told her son everything about how Grandma and Grandpa came through a magical wardrobe. They still looked the same, because they took a youth potion given to them by a powerful wizard and that someday, they would find the place where all the people in his grandparent's Kingdom were cursed to and save them like heroes...

As the New Year began, the dreams weren't forgotten, but also not discussed, for they were immensely happy with their lives. Though the things in their dreams were wonderful notions, each of them found that they wouldn't change anything. Snow and David would always regret not being able to raise Emma, just as Emma would always wish she could have been raised by them. And Henry would always wonder what it would be like to grow up with his birth family. 

But at the end of the day, while everything had gone right in those dreams, they knew a million more things could have gone wrong and a change could risk none of them being together at all. At the end of the day, they were happy, loved, and safe. And that was what truly mattered. They would always have those dreams, but the Charmings would live for what they had and never take it for granted...

[mandibierly]

Danny McBride breaks down that wild 'Vice Principals' ending

Danny McBride in the series finale of ‘Vice Principals’ (Photo: Fred Norris/HBO)

Spoiler alert! If you tell Danny McBride that you thought Lee Russell (Walton Goggins) really had been shot dead by Ms. Abbott (Edi Patterson) in the series finale of HBO’s Vice Principals, you’ll make him very happy.

“I just love hearing that you really bought it, ’cause that’s sort of what our goal was with this whole show,” he says of himself and fellow exec producers/directors Jody Hill and David Gordon Green. “We all felt like we were bored of just watching something and knowing where it’s going to go. We felt like, if we can just make something that people don’t see the end coming a mile away, we’ll have done what we were supposed to do here. … We’d adjust back and forth between super-dark-weird drama and dumb comedy — it just makes the audience kind of sit back on their heels. You never really know what’s going to come. So I think it’s kind of funny to think that when you get into that, you really do think, ‘Wow, they can kill Lee Russell ’cause they don’t give a f**k.’ We did give a s**t, but we’re just pretending that we don’t.”

Lee had figured out that it was jilted Ms. Abbott who’d shot McBride’s Neal Gamby in the Season 1 finale, and then, jealous of Gamby’s relationship with Russell, tried to frame Lee for the attempted murder by planting evidence in his car in Season 2’s Spring Break episode.

“Lee’s flaw is that he’s a compulsive liar. It made more sense to us that that would be ultimately what would come to damage him. That his reputation is so severe, being accused of this and no one believing him [when he insists he didn’t shoot Gamby] — that’d almost be a greater way to have him have to explore himself,” McBride says. “Ultimately, at the end of the day, these guys have done so much bad stuff, but I think that’s the way it is in life: justice isn’t always served for our greatest wrongs. Sometimes it’s the small slights that we don’t even think of as a wrong that come back to bite us in the ass.”

The producers had decided Abbott was the killer before they began filming the series, though they didn’t tell Patterson and the rest of the cast until they got to Season 2. “We didn’t want everybody tipping off what was going to happen in the first season,” McBride says.

He admits it was a bit of a gamble. “What was interesting with this show was we never shot a pilot. We wrote the whole series and we just started shooting, so we never had that time to just see, is everybody going to work? Are all these actors going to pan out? Which I think is what most people use the pilot for — to test-drive the concept of the show,” he says. “But with Edi Patterson, I mean she was just so funny from the very first day that she showed up on set. She just made us so excited to see where her character was going to go. So we didn’t sway from her being the culprit. I think she’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met before. I had just the absolute best time working with her. And honestly, when the show was over, I just kind of looked at her and was like, ‘Me and you have to do something else together again.’ So, we locked up, Edi and myself, and wrote this script together that’s a vehicle for her that I want to direct. So hopefully after this performance of hers, someone will finance that and make that movie.”

He would also love to work again with Goggins, who became a good friend. They had so many memorable scenes together, but he points to the one in the finale after the tiger that Lee had ordered for graduation attacks him. “The one that really got me the most was when he’s, like, dying for the second time because of the tiger wounds,” McBride says. “I remember him and I both were like, ‘This is what the whole entire series is about. It’s about this scene. If we can just make people take this ride for this scene, then we will have done what we needed to do with the show.’ So much so that we were actually supposed to shoot that scene one night. Then the night had kind of gone wrong, and Walt and I were both like, ‘Let’s not do it tonight. We’re not in the mindset. Let’s push it down the road a little bit.’ So we both just kind of knew that we needed to be in the right head space for that scene, and those two guys basically just acknowledging that they helped each other move past this f**ked up part in their life.”

Lee told Gamby that this last year was his favorite year of his whole life, and that he loves him. Then, he badgered Gamby into saying that he loves him, too. “That was all pretty much in the script. We probably improv-ed the least amount of any [project] we’ve done on this. I think that’s because there were so many spinning plates,” McBride says.

Yes, when Russell changed the school’s mascot to the tigers at the beginning of Season 2, it was so they could have that ending. “We started with [the idea that] these guys are out of date. Their views are out of date, the way they see the world is out of date, and it’s unfair. So the idea that the symbol that represents them in the beginning is the Native American warrior — something that is obviously insulting to so many people, something that really was out of place and out of context, it sort of makes sense. And then the idea that Lee’s ambition turns their warrior into the tiger — that’s how ambition sort of ends up eating him at the end. That was always in the DNA of [the show].”

Plus, we got to see the brilliant moment when Gamby, the ultimate disciplinarian, stopped the tiger from attacking again with the sheer force of his anger and a “f**k you.”

“He has so much rage and anger and displaced anger, this was a place for him to finally harness it, and try to use it to protect himself,” McBride says with a laugh.

Walton Goggins in the series finale of ‘Vice Principals’ (Photo: Fred Norris/HBO)

The finale ended with a flash-forward to three months later. Gamby’s still with Ms. Snodgrass (Georgia King), who’s now a published author, but he’s now the principal of a middle school. Lee, meanwhile, is the regional manager of a boutique in the mall. Gamby and Russell see each other in the food court and smile. But when Gamby looks again, Russell is gone. Does that mean they know their friendship is too toxic for them to spend time together? “I think that both of these guys [know] the importance that each of them played in their lives in this particular moment,” McBride says, “but I also think that both of them have grown enough to know that it’s probably better for the world if they don’t join forces.”

They never questioned where Lee would end up, he adds. “What’s really so funny is, ironically, when you write something like this where you explore these characters so deeply, by the end of it, your last episodes sort of end up writing themselves. You’ve set all this stuff up, and the characters sort of tell you where they need to go,” he says. “For some reason we just thought that he would take that lust of power and move into retail. He always cared about what he wore. He always had a sense for style. And it made sense that would be how he would build his empire again.”

And what’s the take-away from Gamby laying down the law for his new vice principal (Steve Little)? “Well, I think that Gamby learned a lot from Welles [Bill Murray]. I think he learned a lot more from Dr. Brown [Kimberly Hebert Gregory],” McBride says. “He is sort of using a little bit of her tactics of being open, but at the end of the day, letting people know that she shouldn’t be f**ked with.”

Maya Love and Danny McBride in the series finale of ‘Vice Principals’ (Photo: Fred Norris/HBO)

It’s a bittersweet fate for Gamby, for sure. “Weirdly, it’s one of the things that I find the most heartbreaking, when Gamby pulls up to that principal sign at a different school, because at the end of the day you know that North Jackson, and being there when his daughter was going to be there, is kind of all he ever wanted,” McBride says. “So I really look at that ending like he’s an exiled king that got booted out of his homeland. But the idea that Steve Little, who played Stevie Janowski on Eastbound, is there — [we’re] literally leaving the audience thinking that maybe all of the fun isn’t over just yet for him.”

Still, striking the right tone in the finale had to be tricky: we all know the criminal acts Russell and Gamby committed, and yet, we’ve grown to root for them. “We really set out to tell the story of the villain. In doing so, we didn’t even really want to totally redeem them, because I think true villains don’t just change overnight or become different people. So I think that there was a balance between how much justice do these guys deserve, and how much of it is just really like we’re showing this character piece?” McBride says. “Like with Tony Soprano in The Sopranos, you don’t necessarily have to see him get arrested or get killed for that to be a complete story. I think that’s sort of what we’re doing here. Do I think that being the principal of the middle school is a punishment enough for burning someone’s house down? Definitely not. But I think that in this world, it’s like we don’t really even know if this is all that’s going to happen to these guys. This is definitely a show about vice principals fighting for a job. When both of those guys are out of the running for that job, the story is sort of over, and the audience is kind of left to fill in the blanks of what happens next.”

The show was conceived as a limited series, but especially now that we’ve gotten to know the teachers so well in Season 2, maybe we could at least get a reunion special on the DVD? “I had probably the best time of my career working on the show and meeting these friends, and I love them — every one of them from Kimberly to Walton to Edi, Georgia, they’re all just incredible. I would love to work with all these guys again, and if it was in this world, if it was the right idea, I’d do it again,” McBride says. “But I think that part of what makes the story work is the idea that it isn’t designed to go on forever. We were really able to show character growth and flip the story on its ass because we didn’t have the restraints of having to make sure we maintained a formula that would be workable year after year after year. I think that’s what ultimately made the show interesting.”

As a viewer, it was satisfying to see how Gamby’s moments with the “workers” (DeShawn!), “bad kids” (yay, Robin Shandrell!), and “gold-star teachers” all built to them joining forces in the penultimate episode after Gamby and Russell’s epic brawl through the school. (McBride directed that fight in less than a day, by the way: “I just had to get creative and figure out how to shoot this in a way where I didn’t need to get in there and cover every single punch and kick,” he says. “So I was just walking around the set and came up with an idea for that tracking shot, and I just started to devise the whole fight that way — seeing these guys with the background, with the school, which is the other character of the show.”)

What was the most satisfying part for McBride in the end? “We took a year to write the whole series, and I swear to god I never had an anxiety attack ever in my life until about a week before we went down to shoot. I just woke up in the middle of the night, panicked in a straight-up anxiety attack, just because of the sheer amount of time we spent writing on this, then knowing we were about to go shoot it,” he says. “This whole thing was an adventure, and to be able to put that much energy into something, then to at the end of the day come up with something that you’re proud of, and that you’re happy with, and that you made new friends with — I think it’s the ultimate sort of pay-off because the whole thing was ultimately rewarding. It was such a fun way to make a living.”

Since he doubts we’ll get the trademark group commentary on the Season 2 Blu-ray (he hears it’s being rush-packaged for Christmas: “Maybe one day down the road Criterion will decide to release a TV show and they’ll have us do a commentary,” he jokes), can he at least answer one burning question: What did Lee do to get kicked out of gymnastics?!

“The world will never know,” McBride says with another laugh. “I know what he did, but I will never tell anyone. I will keep Lee Russell’s secret to the grave.”

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

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‘The Walking Dead’ postmortem: Khary Payton on King Ezekiel maintaining his humanity after so much loss

[theeyeswerewatchinggod-blog]

Podcast Transcript May 16, 2019

[Podcast Introduction Music]

Suhrin: Hello everyone! You have your two favorite literary critics here. Today we’re going to discuss one of Oprah’s favorite romance novel of all time! I’m your host Suhrin and this is my co-host..

Dominic: Dominic!

Suhrin: Yeah, so. Have you ever read Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God? Or perhaps ever seen the movie?

Dominic: Well, it so happens to be one of my favorite novels of all time. The story is so compelling in the way that it evocatively portrayes all these loaded but profound themes of slavery, racism, and feminism, among others. But, the movie seems to be lacking in many of these themes, you know what they say. If you love the book, don’t watch the movie. Unless you like being angry… Can’t forget the whole Percy Jackson debachuel.

Suhrin: It is really interesting that you mention that, because I wanted to talk about comparing and contrasting the film and the novel in terms of those themes! In fact, I wanted to sort of break down those themes and discuss the intent and the effect of these themes and the way these two mediums—the novel and the film—differ.

Dominic: Well, let’s get into it then. For starters, I think it’s worth exploring how the institution of slavery is portrayed in the novel. When Janie gets married to Joe Starks he claims a black town as his own and decides that he will become the mayor. He makes grand accomplishments in the town by erecting buildings, lamp posts, a store, and just about all the essentials for your very own town start-up. He seems like a great leader who gets things done, but there were, however, talk of people being underpaid in the town for their manual labor and some being left hungry. It really highlights how Joe Starks does not value the townspeople in terms of human decency—as we see through their low wages—but definitely not as much as he values his own voice.

Suhrin: Yeah, I agree with that. I would say it sort of mimics the way slave owners would use their slaves for advancement of their plantation with cruel treatment. It creates a parallel with the institution of slavery, really. I also wanted to go back on what you said about trying to claim the town as his own. It’s reminiscent of how the Puritans came to the United States and claimed the land as their own, there’s a colonial ideal that Joe Starks seems to embody, despite being a black man. Similarly, Joe Starks claims to “help the townspeople”, but treats them in an unfair way which parallels the way Puritans treated Native Americans. They used them for their land, resources, labor, and basically exploited them while simultaneously preparing them for slaughter. Of course, Joe Starks doesn’t kill anyone outright, except maybe Janie, metaphorically. He oppresses her, he enslaves her in their marriage, and he confines her to female gender roles and imprisons her in the store, where she spends the majority of her days removed from her community. So I think this all speaks to the idea of slavery, colonization, and the oppressive forces these bring.

Dominic: Yeah, I really like that comparison... There’s something deeply intrinsic in the black experience of oppression that seems to harken back to the relatively recent evil of slavery, even with her relationship with Teacake, there’s a specific part in the novel that helps build on this theme of slavery. Remember the scene where Teacake whips Janie? He describes that he needs to relieve “that awful fear inside him” and that “being able to whip her reassured him in possession,” (Hurston 147). I think this is just so wrong and definitely alludes to slavery.

Suhrin: I agree. It definitely parallels with the aspect of how slave owners would whip their slaves as punishment but also to represent their ownership over them. I think later on in the scene other people watch Teacake “punish” his woman and they praise him. It relates to how slaveholders would publicly abuse their slaves to represent their possession and wealth. The whipping is a tool of oppression, it breaks their will and resilience, crushes the spirit, and incites fear. It encourages the manufacturing of a glassy-eyed autonomous robot workforce, devoid of humanity, it being whipped right out of them.

Dominic: I guess this leaves us with this burning question: just what was Hurston’s intent here? What implications does this evocation of the institution of slavery have? I think it’s definitely speaking to how this terrible thing—institutionalized slavery—how even then the black community felt the beginnings of what would be a long lasting effect on African American life. The impact of slavery and the ripples it made in the world, in our everyday lives when we go out into society and interact with black people, it’s all stemming from this awful thing that was happening for hundreds of years. And I think the way their actions in the novel mimic the cruel actions of slavery, and the fact that it’s black people doing it to black people, it represents how they internalized those emotions and experiences, and through intergenerational trauma it shapes their lives even after, it marks their character with the effects of the ripples-turned-waves of slavery.

Their ancestors faced this cruel treatment and maybe subconsciously they emulated this treatment with their children since these experiences have stained their blood, their skin, their very souls. It also explores this larger idea of slavery not being just about white and black relations, but the lasting effects of post-slavery that still lingers within black communities.

Suhrin: Hurston is maybe trying to show a little sympathy to these African American characters that act in this manner due to the intergenerational trauma, but it does not mean that it is still justified. I think the way that the novel ends with both husbands dying shows sort of how their actions should still be met with an equal punishment. Slave owners will get what’s coming to them.

Dominic: That’s a bit cutthroat, but maybe! I think one thing for certain is that the novel explores this theme of slavery in a deep manner where it gets the reader to think about this cyclical system and its impact. As for the film, I don’t think this theme was adequately portrayed or explored. Sure we see Joe Starks create the town like in the novel, but the very real problems of underpaid labor and starving people are cut from the film. The film works hard to not portray him in a negative light in this way, and in doing so it makes his character less dynamic and minimizes the complexity of Janie’s struggle with identity as she buckles under the weight of his oppression. Also, they conveniently leave out the part where Teacake whips Janie. What appears to be minor details in the novel that are consciously left out by the filmmakers really makes a huge difference. I think the message gets lost somewhere in the translation from novel to film. We don’t see how institutionalized slavery affects the African American community, or more specifically Janie, and in leaving this out, the filmmakers fail to adequately portray Janie’s struggle with coming to terms with her identity as someone who’s black, someone whose grandmother was a slave, and someone who’s a woman.

Suhrin: I think so too. And I feel like we can’t talk about this theme of slavery without exploring the other racial undertones in the novel. For me, I think that the portrayal of racism is greatly focused in the novel specifically with Mrs. Turner. She is described as this woman with European features and praises Janie greatly for her own superior European aspects as well, romanticizing her light skin. It’s interesting how she describes Janie and herself as superior to the other members of the community due to the fact that they are “less black”. It really represents the idea of racism and specifically colorism. It’s interesting how Mrs. Turner conceives race though, it’s very hierarchical and rigid, offering little mobility upwards. You’re born into your lot, your caste, and you have a duty to act a certain way, going so far as to justify her belittlement and blatant colorism on this same power structure. The blacker you are, the worse you deserve to be treated. The whiter you are, the greater the need to treat those below you more terribly to make it known it’s not okay to be dark, to make them resent themselves for being black in hopes of somehow bringing an end to the race overall. In destroying their self-worth, Mrs. Turner hopes to discourage the propagation of the black community. She even offers Janie to be with her brother because he is not as dark as Teacake. It’s this idea that they need to dilute the dark melanin in black people to preserve this sense of superiority inherent to white skin.

Dominic: You know, I like what you’re saying here, these are some very astute observations. If we’re thinking about what Hurston’s thinking about as she wrote Their Eyes Were Watching God, the intention seems to be to represent this issue revolving around racism as something larger than blatant nastiness, but something more sinister and insidious that works itself into the minds of black and mixed people too, not just white people. It’s a disease that takes form in the shape of the internalized racism that’s ingrained in these communities and propagated like a virus spreading. Because Mrs. Turner is still a black women, she may be passing for a white women, or conceptualize herself in the realm of white identity, but she’s still also black. And it’s so sad to see the lengths she goes to to spread hate and misery.

Suhrin: That’s a sharp contrast to the movie, I think, we never hear or see any mention of Mrs. Turner’s character in the film. Perhaps it’s because they thought the inclusion of her character was a minor detail, but I really don’t think so. Her absence from the narrative leaves out important commentary on internalized racism and the toxicity of colorism.

Dominic: Mrs. Turner is especially crucial to Janie’s journey to self-discovery and identity. I read an analytical article by this scholar, Lihua Zhao, and she writes this wonderful piece on how Janie suppresses race and racial issues until Mrs. Turner forces her to confront them. Throughout the novel, we see Janie traversing the American South, and she rides trains and marvels at the beauty of the world. She goes on all these outings to restaurants and social spaces where Jim Crow laws are likely in place, since the South is most definitely still segregated in Janie’s world, but she never acknowledges it.

There’s different compartments for black and white folks on trains, there’s different restrooms, sometimes they’re barred from entire establishments based on their skin color, and not once do we see Janie speak to this. Zhao explains how this shows Janie’s alienation from black society and her denial of her black identity. I think this is a super interesting idea, considering the novel opens with Janie growing up among white children, not knowing she’s black until she’s shown a picture of herself.

Suhrin: That’s so interesting, it reminds me of this duality that seems to be essential to Janie’s character. I’m glad they didn’t cut that out of the movie, where Janie says she learns to portray herself and act a certain way externally, but her mind and her feelings are kept inside as she erects a wall between her internal and external worlds. And then this weird juxtaposition creeps in with her second husband, Joe Starks. He begins treating her like something other, and the townspeople follow suit. This idolization of the black woman was a much larger, more central issue in the novel than in the film.

Dominic: In the novel we also get a nice inversion of the meaning of the color black. She starts wearing black when Joe dies, but when Joe is alive and idolizing her, her black racial identity is essentially erased by this problematic idea of racial uplifting. Her black skin does not connote blackness for her, but the illusion of something more, conflating her status to that of a white woman. And on the exterior, Janie would put on a façade to appease Joe and the black community he represents that wants to put black women on a pedestal. But in Janie’s interior, she longs to partake in the conversations happening on the store’s porch, she wants to attend community events and gatherings not as a trophy wife, but as a regular person having fun and reveling in the sense of community. So, when Joe dies, Janie can finally destroy the wall he placed between her and Eatonville and her interior and exterior. In donning the black to grieve, she’s also reconnecting with her black community. For Janie, it’s not about living a posh leisurely life of a white woman, but living how she wants as a real black women. She finds freedom in Joe’s death, she finds an escape from the burden of having to be the model black woman, the ideal for all other black women to work toward, an ideal that alienated her from the very same race this ideal is striving to uplift.

Suhrin: I completely agree with that interpretation, Janie goes through quite a journey to understand herself and her racial identity. And it’s such a beautiful moment for Janie when she and Tea Cake banish Mrs. Turner from the muck farm, and sadly we don’t get that in the film. In the novel when the cast out Mrs. Turner, it’s as if Janie finds peace with her black identity, her black life, and she knows she has no room in it for the hate Mrs. Turner represents. And in portraying these issues of race and colorism, it allows the reader to be more introspective and think on how we should work to improve these issues in our society today. Because racism, colorism, and internalized-racism are still very real problems people of color face.

Dominic: Very true. The gender dynamics are pretty interesting too, when you compare the novel and the film. In terms of feminism, I think the novel doesn’t really do it much justice. In a way Janie is very submissive to the commands of her husbands. When Joe tells her to put on that head-rag to cover her hair, she sort of reluctantly does so, but she does it. In doing so, he masks her beauty, her stunts her identity, and that visual of putting her hair up and keeping it and her head wrapped up, it feels like he’s metaphorically shackling her mind. But even when she has that moment where she lets down her hair after Joe passes away, it just did not scream feminism to me. I liked that she found freedom in being single and she didn’t really feel the need to grieve Joe, not for long anyway, because he made her feel terrible about her body and herself. But it just felt like I expected more feminist commentary from a book written by a black woman living in the South, where gender norms are stricter than most places. In our contemporary world we’re getting things like female Ghostbusters, explorations of power dynamics and gender roles in TV and literature like The Handmaid’s Tale, and we have female superheroes like Captain Marvel, Wonder Woman, and Scarlett Johansson, who can play just about any race and ethnicity, ha! But seriously, these women are role models and they’re portraying strong individuals and acting as great representation for women and young girls everywhere, and I just expected a little more of that from Their Eyes.

Suhrin: I totally get what you are trying to say. In the movie, she’s definitely more resistant to hiding her hair than she is in the book. When she realizes how Joe is trying to control her and segregate her from the community, she actually makes an attempt to run away and defy him. Then Joe starts screaming that no one will want, just as someone’s plaything, insinuating prostitution even, and Janie quietly, resigned, walks back into their house, and this was really powerful. I think including this scene makes it compelling to the idea that Janie is a strong female character with a strong will, and even then she is trapped in this situation, and we see this visually with her struggle in the film. Also, the moment she lets down her hair seems a whole lot more dramatized. The symbol of how the head rag is a metaphor for the constraint that men put on women seems to be far more prevalent. Maybe it’s because of the medium itself, film being more visual, that the effect feels more pronounced, but it was definitely a more focalized symbol in the movie than the novel.

Dominic: Could this relate to the idea that the movie is geared towards a female audience? I think the film is made so it is palatable for women by highlighting these feminist ideals, ironically in a sexist way. By leaving out these important themes from the novel of slavery and racism in the movie and focusing solely on the romance plotline, while simultaneously altering Janie’s character to portray this more contemporary ideal feminist woman, it feels as if the filmmakers aren’t taking women as seriously as they should. It’s like they’re dumbing down this beautiful piece of literature for an audience—women—whom they think is only interested in watching romance movies where they don’t have to think too much, just feel, as a woman does. There’s no room for explorations of identity, race, and slavery, let other filmmakers and the literature handle that, in the capitalistic world of film they need to produce something that sells, not something that provides scathing social commentary or sheds light on important and prevalent social issues.

Suhrin: Yup, you put it in words. The movie is definitely far more romanticized than the novel. Especially the way that it includes all those steamy sex scenes, and the primary focus is Janie’s search for love. They’re selling sex and romance, and although Janie’s character feels like more of a feminist in the film, I definitely think it’s for all the wrong reasons. What a confusingly hot take though, feminism is sexist in film! You have to take a minute to wrap your head around that, but I think it makes sense when you’re looking at it retrospectively and in terms of intent and purpose. Yes, we love feminist Janie who stands up for herself, yes we wish novel Janie were more like film Janie, but we also wish the film wasn’t butchered to leave out all these important themes and social issues the novel explores in depth.

Suhrin: All in all, slavery and racism is skillfully explored in the novel. The institution of slavery, and later racism, that persis in history have a negative effect on the African American community. It is shown when they partake in or emulate slavery and racism with their own people. It sort of represents the cyclical system that’s so ingrained in our society, but certainly not justified. By doing so, it makes the novel deeper than a love story. The novel doesn’t contain big ideas of feminism strongly, but perhaps it could have been the time period which does not allow for women of color writers to write about such controversial things, or maybe even radical at the time.

Dominic: In contrast, the film does not explore the ideas of slavery and racism, which makes it lacking in depth for me. Sure, romances can be powerful and uplifting and profound, but it’s a heavily gendered genre in film and literature, so I think the film definitely propagates this idea of romance being cheap and low-brow by leaving out all these themes. Nonetheless, the film also tends to have feminism a bit more ingrained in the story. Janie’s resistance to these men trying to control her life and her struggle is clearly portrayed in a feminist light. This highlights the power dynamics in society between men and women, especially back then, with women finding themselves stuck in situations where they’re helpless because they chose to marry the wrong man. But the way that feminism and romance are incorporated makes me believe that it was geared towards a female audience for purely capitalistic motivations.

Suhrin: I recently read an article written by Richard Wright and it discusses how the novel is ��cloaked in facile sensuality,” and portrays the minds of “Negro-folk mind in their pure simplicity,”. It’s really interesting he feels this way because I would have to disagree. Yes, I think the novel and the film do not touch on every single theme out there, but they both portray greater ideas that go beyond just mere narrative. There’s so much commentary on society! There’s so much representation for women of color, for women writers, for victims of domestic violence, and for victims of racism, colorism, and internalized-racism. Neither the novel or the film are perfect, but in a meta way, these two mediums for Janie’s story act in conversation to spark more conversation, like the one we’re having now. Both mediums act together to get people thinking, talking, and hopefully to enact change. And for that, I love Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God.

Dominic: Beautifully put Suhrin, I agree wholeheartedly.

Well, it appears that’s all we have time for today. Thanks for joining us as you listen on your way to work, as you drive your kids to school, or maybe just as you cruise down the highway, listening to us ramble. You all be safe out there and enjoy your morning. This has been your co-host, Dominic Rochel, and..

Suhrin: Suhrin Whang! Y’all take care now!

[Podcast Outro Music]

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Devilish (7/10)

Summary: It all starts with a bra. Librarian Belle French is looking to start life afresh after leaving a toxic relationship. Photographer Aiden Gold is feeling old after learning he’s going to become a grandfather. Thanks to a lingerie catalogue named ‘Devilish’, a chain of events is set in motion that causes their lives to intertwine…

Rated: This chapter is T.

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [AO3]

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Devilish

Chapter Seven – Pep Talk and Projection

“So, how are things going with Belle?”

Gold was sitting in the living room of Neal and Emma’s apartment having enjoyed a meal of ordered-in Chinese after Neal’s attempts at home-cooking had gone slightly awry. This was a regular occurrence whenever he visited his son, but Neal’s unfailing sense of optimism would never let him just admit defeat and would always send him back into the kitchen to try and cook something for his father whenever he came, no matter how doomed to becoming charcoal the meal might be.

“All right.” Gold had to wonder, really, how were things going with Belle? They had been on a few dates and they had certainly been talking a lot, but it felt like things had reached something of a plateau, and he wasn’t sure where to go from there. Someone needed to make a move towards something sooner or later, but neither of them were comfortable making it.

“Are you sure?” Neal raised an eyebrow and topped up Gold’s whisky tumbler. “You know, I don’t know why we keep this here, you’re the only one who ever drinks it, you might as well take it with you.”

“Hey!” Emma protested. “I drink it sometimes. Well, not right now and not for the foreseeable future, but whisky doesn’t go off. Besides, we might need it to knock this one out.” She rubbed her belly, definitely visible now, undeniable proof of Gold’s impending grandfatherhood. “He’s started moving around in there now.”

“She,” Neal corrected.

“Let’s not get into this argument again, at least not whilst your dad’s here,” Emma said. “We ought to at least try and look like we’re civilised.”

“Considering how long I’ve known you two, it would be something of a challenge to convince me of that,” Gold said dryly, at which Neal took mock offence and Emma fell about laughing. Eventually the mirth died down and Neal returned to the conversation topic at hand.

“You don’t sound too convinced that things with Belle are all right,” he said, and Gold shifted awkwardly in his seat.

“It’s complicated,” he said. “I just want to be sure that I’m doing this for the right reasons. There are so many things stacked up against it that I don’t want it to all fall down around my ears when I think I’ve found something good. I don’t want to turn out to have been fooling myself because I was desperate.”

“Right.” Neal gave his father a look that spoke volumes. “That got a lot deeper than I was intending, but since we’re getting you drunk and you seem to be talkative, do you want to elaborate on that?” he asked. “Like why you feel you might be desperate?”

“I was feeling old,” Gold admitted. “I mean, I still can’t quite come to terms with the fact that I’m about to have a grandchild. And Belle’s a lovely young woman and I don’t want to wake up one day and realise that I’ve just been acting on impulse trying to reclaim my lost youth. That wouldn’t be fair on her, especially…” He trailed off, remembering that Neal and Emma didn’t know the exact details of how he had met Belle, just assuming that she was a friend of Ella’s whom he’d been set up with in one of Ella’s many fruitless schemes to get some love back into his life. Normally he had just laughed off her efforts, but this time she had managed to inadvertently create something that looked like it could be truly wonderful.

Neal was still looking at him, waiting for him to finish the sentence, and Gold realised that he had come a little bit too far to back out of it now. Probably best to get it out in the open here and have his son know that he was well on his way to becoming a dirty old man than have it come out later once his relationship with Belle became more established. Well, if it ever became more established. Belle was so different from either of his previous wives that he had no idea what the next move in their dating life ought to be. Perhaps he should wait for her to make it.

“Especially considering how we met,” he finished at last.

“I thought Ella introduced you?”

“She did, in a way.” Gold sighed. “I met her at the Devilish photoshoot for the autumn catalogue; she was modelling.”

To his intense surprise, Neal and Emma did not seem at all perturbed by this.

“Why would that make a difference?” Neal asked. “People have met and got together in weirder circumstances.” He glanced over at Emma. “Car theft, for example.”

“Yeah, don’t rub it in,” Emma muttered.

“It makes all the difference!” Gold exclaimed. “When we met I was in a position of power over her; she was the model in her underwear and I was the photographer. There are enough stories out there of photographers dating their models and using them in horrible ways, and the last thing I want is for Belle to think that’s all I am, just another sleazy photographer looking to get in her knickers.”

“Dad, as much as I really don’t want to think about you getting in anyone’s knickers, the sleazy photographer types usually try to get some straight away in the studio. They don’t usually have online friendships for weeks after meeting in the studio and then go on several dates. That’s not usually how it works. Besides, you said that she asked you out the first time. Do you think she would have done that if she thought that you were some kind of predator looking to score with her?”

“Well…” Now that Neal had put it like that, it did make sense. Belle was calling the shots in their relationship so far; he hadn’t pressured her into taking any further steps in it. With that one simple sentence, he realised that at least he knew now where their relationship would go. Although the tension and need for something more was heavy in the air between them, Gold knew that all he had to do was wait for Belle to make the next move. If she had been bold enough to sign up for the catalogue and bold enough to ask him out, then she could be bold enough to take the next step, and Gold could be confident in his opinion of her.

“And after all, you’ve been taking photos of women in less than their underwear for a long time, and Belle’s the first one you’ve ever had any intention of pursuing,” Emma continued.

“Not for want of trying on the models’ part, sometimes,” Gold muttered, thinking of Zelena and her antics. Hopefully she had got the message by now that he was not at all interested in her, and her attempts to garner his attention were falling by the wayside.

“Wait.” Emma grinned. “You said that you photographed her for the latest catalogue, right?”

“Yes.”

Emma rummaged down the back of the sofa and behind her and gave a cry of triumph as she came up holding the latest Devilish catalogue.

“We can find out what she looks like now!”

“No!” Gold sprang across the room and grabbed the catalogue out of Emma’s hands. “No, I am not having the first time you see her being in her underwear.”

“Why not?” Emma lightly tugged the catalogue back out of his hands and began to flick through it. “That first time you saw her she was in her underwear, and I’ve already looked through this catalogue enough times that I’ll technically have already seen her, I just don’t know who she is yet. If she’s happy enough to have her photo in a catalogue, then she’s prepared for people who’ve never met her to see it.”

“Fine.” Gold had to concede defeat on that score, as incredibly uncomfortable as it felt for him to be introducing his son and future daughter-in-law to his girlfriend via the medium of a lingerie catalogue. “Page twenty-two, she’s in turquoise.”

Emma flipped back and showed the spread to Neal, who gave an approving nod.

“She’s pretty. A bit younger than I was expecting, but she looks nice enough.”

“Please don’t remind me how much of an age gap there is,” Gold said. “I’m probably old enough to be her father.”

“Dad, you’re only as old as you feel, and if you get along with her, then there’s no reason why it can’t work. We’re all rooting for you here and you keep trying to find reasons to shoot this relationship down.” Neal’s tone had turned from teasing to serious and he closed the catalogue, handing it back to Emma who shoved it back down behind the sofa cushions.

“Dad,” he continued, “are you sure that you want to keep going with this thing or are you trying to project all your own insecurities out onto us so that you don’t have to feel bad about breaking up with Belle because you can use the excuse that your family disapproves? If you don’t want to date her anymore, then don’t date her anymore, but don’t try to give us ammunition to break this up for you, because it’s not going to work. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be in a relationship, Dad. And considering how bad you are at meeting people, then this is something like a once in a lifetime opportunity for you to actually get out there and try to find a new partner.”

Gold sighed, perhaps Neal was right and he was looking for excuses to end this before it had even begun, but at the same time, he could not for the life of him fathom why he was doing such a thing. He liked Belle, he liked her a lot and it was the type of like that could and would grow into love if he left it any longer. And it was love that he was looking for; he was too old and set in his ways to settle for anything less. As he thought about it in essence, Gold realised what the problem was, even if he didn’t really want to admit it to his son. He was scared. After the failure of his relationships with Milah and Cora, he was afraid of many things when it came to his relationship with Belle. It was the same fear that had kept him from pursuing any kind of romantic angles for so long before he had met her, the fear that it would all go down the tubes like his previous relationships had done.

And a small part of him that he was trying to deny existed but that was slowly taking over the rest of his brain, was scared that it was all his fault. There had to be a reason why his marriages had ended so abruptly, and given the differences between Cora and Milah, the only common denominator that he could find in both of them was himself. If he was the cause of the downfall, then it was guaranteed that he was going to be the downfall of his relationship with Belle.

“Dad?” Neal’s voice brought him back out of his downward spiral of thought with a jolt and he looked over at his son, giving him a smile which he could immediately tell from Neal’s reaction was not at all convincing. Neal raised an eyebrow. “You were miles away. I thought we’d lost you in a pit of despair and self-loathing.”

“I just don’t want to ruin it all,” Gold said.

“Well, ending it before it’s had chance to get going is a sure-fire way of doing just that,” Neal pointed out. “What makes you think you’ll ruin it anyway?”

It was Gold’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “My track record with women isn’t exactly stellar.”

“Yeah, but from what I know of her, Belle isn’t exactly Milah and Cora material,” Neal said. “Look, I know you don’t want to get hurt again and I can completely understand that. I don’t want you to get hurt either and in any other circumstances I would probably be checking her out to make sure she’s not after your fortune because I want to get my hands on that, but I think you might be onto something here and the last thing I want you to do is panic and self-sabotage. You’re very good at that.”

Gold had to concede that point.

“So whatever misgivings you have, you should get rid of them now and just go for it. Seize the day.”

“That’s what Ella keeps telling me to do.”

“Well, take her advice then,” Emma said. “Of all the people whose advice you take, Ella’s never let you down yet, so I say to take advantage of that. If she thinks you should go for it, then you should definitely go for it.”

They were all making very valid arguments, Gold could see that. He really ought to stop second-guessing himself knowing that there were so many people who were encouraging him onwards, and that those same people would have his back if it didn’t end up working out in the end. It wasn’t going to be a litany of ‘I told you so’. And if Neal seemed to like Belle without having met her yet, then that was a definite point in her favour. He had only been a kid when Gold had met Cora on the rebound from Milah and that disaster had happened so he hadn’t really had all that much say in it, but Gold had known even at the time that there was no love lost between Neal and his short-lived stepmother.

“Not taking the chance to be happy because you’re afraid to get hurt means that you won’t get hurt,” Neal continued, “but it’s also likely to mean that you won’t be happy. I know that things haven’t worked out in the past, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not going to work out this time. You need to have hope, Dad.”

“I do have hope!” Gold protested. “I just don’t have all that much of it.”

“I think you need to trust in your own ability to be happy,” Neal said.

“I know. I just can’t help wondering what’s going to happen however many months, weeks, days down the line when she realises that I’m not the man she signed up for.”

Neal raised an eyebrow. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Have you been pretending to be someone else for the last couple of months of dating?”

“Of course not.”

“Then why on earth would she discover that you’re not the man she signed up for? Are you planning to turn into someone else?”

“No.”

“Then…” Neal threw his hands up in defeat. “I have absolutely no idea where you’re going with this, dad. What is going to change in the future that will suddenly make Belle see you in a completely different light?”

Although his son was an adult with a child of his own on the way, discussing sex with him was not a thing that ever got any easier. He couldn’t exactly tell Neal that he was worried that once he and Belle went to bed together that he was terrified that he was going to let her down in one way or another having gone so long without female company.

Emma, however, appeared to have cottoned on to his train of thought and was just smirking at him. Neal’s gaze flicked between the two of them as Gold cleared his throat awkwardly, and it took him a moment before he realised what the unspoken conversation was about, and he groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face.

“Oh no, no, we’re not going to talk about that.”

“We’re not talking about it,” Emma said helpfully. “We’re not talking about anything.”

“No, but I can tell that you’re thinking about it and that’s even worse. We’re not going to even think about it. Dad, you and Belle are going to be fine and if I can try and go back to the happy misappreciation that your relationship will remain forever celibate then I’m going to do that.”

“Besides, Mr G,” Emma said with a sly wink. “They do always say that practice makes perfect in these kinds of scenarios. I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about once you get going.”

“I’m not listening!” Neal exclaimed, shoving his fingers in his ears and closing his eyes. For his part, Gold just focussed very intently on the whisky glass in his hand, trying to pretend that he wasn’t having this conversation.

Emma’s words rang entirely true. The first time was never going to be the stuff of legends and fireworks. It hadn’t been in any of his previous sexual relationships, and there was no point in thinking that this one was going to be any different, but at the same time, for all those relationships had eventually failed, they had failed for different reasons than that, and those reasons were hopefully not ones that would feature in his relationship with Belle.

There were still a lot of niggling little doubts in the back of his mind telling him that everything was going to go wrong, that it had always gone wrong before so there was no reason for them to go right now. But at the same time, he couldn’t deny that being with Belle made him happy, and that not being with her would make him miserable, and only someone with a very strange sense of self-preservation would choose to be miserable when they had the option to be happy on the basis that they might be miserable in the future if they chose to be happy now.

Gold smiled, and perhaps for the first time, he had a hope that everything would turn out for the best in the end.

X

“So…” Ruby took a sip of her cocktail and surveyed Belle critically over the rim of her cocktail glass. “How are things going with the lovely Aiden then? It must be at least a month now since we were pulling you off a ledge about asking him out on a date.”

Belle stirred her rum and coke with the straw and gave Ruby a coy little smirk. They were having a girls’ night out and she was feeling pleasantly fuzzy, her tongue loosened by the Bacardi, and for the first time in a long time she felt confident in discussing her romantic life with her friends. For so long, she had been in a little limbo of not really knowing what to do with herself, and second-guessing every decision that she made. Now, no longer. Things were moving in the direction that she wanted them to, at the speed she wanted them too. In fact, Belle wouldn’t be averse if they picked up the pace a little bit, but she appreciated that it had been a very long time since Aiden had last begun a relationship and that her previous experiences left quite a lot to be desired. Still, she was very happy with where they were, and after all the light-hearted teasing that she had received from Ruby over the past few weeks since she first sent that email asking for a first date, it was time to do some teasing of her own.

Ruby narrowed her eyes. “You know, I’m not quite sure what that expression’s supposed to mean,” she said. “Has something happened? Something...  interesting?”

“Define interesting?” Belle said, trying to feign innocence.

“You know.” Unfortunately Ruby was a master of playing this game, much more than Belle was, and she could turn the tables on a dime. “We both know that he’s seen you in your underwear, but have we reached the stage of him seeing you in slightly less than that?”

Belle didn’t reply for a long time, letting Ruby try to puzzle it out, but then she shook her head.

“No, we haven’t reached that stage yet. I’m not a third date kind of girl. After everything that happened with Gaston, I think it’s going to take time.”

“Well, more power to you. At least you know that when you do get there, he’s got the vast benefits of experience. You know what they say about older men.” She waggled her eyebrows and Belle’s confident facade cracked as she erupted into embarrassed and slightly tipsy giggles, unable to look Ruby in the eye for a solid minute and a half.

“I’m not sure it’ll be like that, he hasn’t been in a relationship for fourteen years.”

“Ouch. That’s a long dry spell. It’s a wonder his equipment hasn’t fallen off. But still, I stand by my original statement. And hey, you never know. With all that boudoir photography he does, he might have something up his sleeve for setting the mood, and as long as you’re in the mood, then I think that’s half the battle really.”

Belle raised an eyebrow. “Boudoir photography?”

“Yeah. You know. Glamour shots.”

“Like, nudes?”

“Yes.” The music in the bar seemed too loud and jarring all of a sudden and Ruby tipped her head on one side. “You didn’t know he did those kind of shoots, did you?”

Belle shook her head, and she wondered why it had never come up in conversation. Well, she knew exactly why it hadn’t come up in conversation, because it wasn’t really the kind of thing that you brought up over dinner.

“Well, I’m not surprised,” Ruby says. “He doesn’t advertise the fact; he’ll only do them on request.” She paused. “I haven’t gone and caused a major catastrophe in your relationship, have I?”

Belle shook her head. She wasn’t jealous; she had never been the jealous type. It was just a sudden revelation, that was all. She knew how much Aiden had agonised over taking that step from friends to more than friends with her considering how they had first met, so she really didn’t have anything to worry about in terms of him suddenly running off and sleeping with one of his naked models. She just hadn’t thought about him doing boudoir photography before. All his regular photography that she had seen had always kept the clothes very firmly on, indeed, it was something that Belle had noted when she had first been researching him prior to the catalogue shoot. It made the fact that he only did boudoir photography on request even more prominent; that he never just shot naked women for the aesthetic or because he fancied it.

For a few moments, a cascade of thoughts began in her head, each one more insidious than the one before as she thought about all the undressed women he must have seen over the course of his career as a photography, both in the context of the Devilish catalogue and in his everyday work. She wondered how she would compare with them when the time finally came for him to see her in the nude. Would she measure up? She shook her head violently, trying to get rid of the thoughts. They weren’t exactly doing anything to help her self-esteem and she had been trying to get out of that negative spiral for a long time now. Her relationship with Aiden had definitely helped in that regard, and she didn’t want to mar it now with the memories of all the self-doubt she had harboured whilst she had been with Gaston.

“Belle?” Ruby waved a hand in front of her face. “Are you ok?”

“What? Yes, yes, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Ruby didn’t seem at all convinced. “I mentioned boudoir photography and you just kind of spaced out for a while, I thought I’d lost you to another dimension.”

“No, no, I was just thinking.”

“About boudoir photography?”

“No. About me.”

Although now that Ruby had mentioned it, she was finding her thoughts wending in that direction. She had never really given the matter much thought before; it wasn’t something that she came across in everyday life, which was probably understandable, and it wasn’t something that she had ever considered before. But in trying to take her mind off what Aiden might think of her when comparing her to some of the other models that he had photographed, and trying to put her head into a more positive space, she had gone off into a little daydream in which everything was well in the world and Aiden was taking pictures of her naked. Just to keep between the two of them, of course, nothing like the catalogue. Their little secret.

“You’re blushing,” Ruby observed, and the comment brought Belle out of her little dream world with a cough.

“Yes. Well. Erm, another drink?” She drained the rest of her rum and coke rather too quickly and tried not to choke as the bubbles went up her nose. “I’ll buy.”

“All right, I’ll have another cosmo.” Ruby was wearing a wry little smile that made it all too plain that she knew exactly what Belle was thinking about, but she dutifully let her friend get away for a few moments to calm herself down. Belle shook her head again as she neared the bar. Her mind was getting away from her. She had to actually get to the stage of Aiden seeing her naked first before they went any further than that, and they might never even get to that stage if she didn’t make a move soon. She wondered if perhaps she was moving too quickly. She’d said to Ruby that she’d wanted to take things slowly, at her own pace, but she wasn’t really too sure what her own pace was as she had never taken things at it before. Was it possible that she was being too cautious? Being afraid of repeating her mistakes was one thing, but maybe she was taking it a bit too far.

Belle got the drinks in and made her way back to Ruby; Ariel and Mulan had rejoined them by this point as well and Ariel gave her friend a smile.

“Something’s gotten into you,” she said. “You’ve got that brightness in your eyes and that little smile on your face that says ‘I may barely be five feet tall but I’m damn well going to conquer the world.”

“Maybe not the entire world just yet,” Belle said sagely, taking a sip of her coke. Perhaps it was time to stop being so cautious and pick up her pace a little if that was what she wanted to do. She kept thinking about it, after all, and that probably was a good sign that she wanted to move things on a little. It certainly seemed like things were pointing in the right direction.

Maybe, just maybe, seizing the day and becoming the person she’d always felt she had the ability to be could have come with some totally unexpected love along the way.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Devilish (10/10)

Summary: It all starts with a bra. Librarian Belle French is looking to start life afresh after leaving a toxic relationship. Photographer Aiden Gold is feeling old after learning he’s going to become a grandfather. Thanks to a lingerie catalogue named ‘Devilish’, a chain of events is set in motion that causes their lives to intertwine…

Rated: This chapter is E.

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [AO3]

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Devilish

Epilogue – Merry and Bright

If Belle had been asked six months ago what she would be doing this Christmas, the answer would certainly not have matched the reality. Sitting in Aiden’s living room, curled up on the sofa in a Christmas jumper covered in dancing snowmen with a glass of mulled wine warming her hands and Aiden’s arm around her warming the rest of her nicely, Neal and Emma and baby Henry on the other side of the room. It was the perfect picture of a family Christmas, even if Belle had only been part of the family for a comparatively short space of time. She was still not fully there yet, she felt. She and Aiden had not made any plans to move in together yet, but she sometimes felt that she spent more time at his place than she did at her own, and she found that she was all right with that. Neal had accepted her readily as a potential stepmother and after a few initial hiccups had been as warm and welcoming as she could have hoped for. Emma had been harder to convince of her benignity, but then again, Emma had been very pregnant at the time they’d first met and could be excused all manner of irrational thoughts on account of that.

And now Henry had arrived and the family truly felt complete. Belle had been dubious about coming over on Christmas Day with the new baby in the picture, wanting to give the little family the time they needed together, and it had been Neal who had re-extended the festive invitation, stating that since he and Emma would be fussing over the baby for the entire holiday, his father needed someone to talk to.

But they weren’t talking now. They were just sitting watching the lights on the tree. The TV was on low in the background; Emma and Neal had found that the soft hum of its sound helped get Henry off to sleep, although naturally the channel was changed if anything with loud bangs and gunfire came on. At the moment, they were watching the Hallmark Christmas movie channel, so there wasn’t any fear of a car exploding or machine gun fire at unexpected moments.

Aiden chinked his tumbler of whisky against her wine glass.

“Merry Christmas.”

“A very Merry Christmas to you too.” Belle finished the dregs of her wine and nestled in closer against his chest. They had exchanged gifts earlier in the day, but there was something else that she wanted to give him, something that couldn’t be wrapped up in shiny paper and exchanged with the entire rest of the family watching.

“Something tells me that it might be getting distinctly merrier,” Aiden murmured in her ear, and Belle wriggled with a mixture of anticipation and embarrassment.

“Am I really that obvious?”

Aiden nodded. “I have to say it, love, but you can’t keep a secret to save your life.”

“And there was I thinking that I was being all surreptitious and coy about it.”

Neal looked up from Henry. “I heard the words ‘surreptitious and coy’ and I began to think that maybe it’s time that we put Henry to bed,” he said dryly. “Either that, or you put yourselves to bed.”

Aiden gave a long and slightly pained sigh. “Just because I haven’t been in a relationship since you were in middle school doesn’t mean that you can take advantage now,” he complained.

“You’re kidding me, right? I missed out on all my teenage years of making fun of you, I need to catch up.”

“You’re absolutely incorrigible, did you know that?”

“Oh Dad, where’s your spirit of adventure?”

“It died long ago.”

“Hush you two,” Emma said, her voice barely above a hiss. “I’ve only just got him off to sleep and if you make me laugh now then you’ll wake him up! Come on Neal, let’s take him up and leave the lovebirds to get on with it. I feel like I could sleep for a week myself.”

Neal gave into this with good grace and good nights were exchanged. Aiden waited until the noises of movement in the house above them had died down and it was clear that Emma, Neal and Henry were ensconced in their own room and there would be little chance of interruption before he twisted to capture Belle’s lips.

“Now then, shall we begin our own little Christmas party?” he asked. There was already that wonderful huskiness in his voice that sent shivers down Belle’s spine, and she nodded eagerly.

“We’ll need to go upstairs though,” she said. “That’s where I left the final part of our present.”

“Our present?”

“Yes. I bought it for me, but you’re definitely going to get a lot of enjoyment out of it too.”

“In that case, I look forward to it immensely.”

There were a few moments of normality then, when they had to break out of their close embrace to tidy up the living room and put the house to bed, but once the lights were out and they were in the bedroom, with no noises coming from the guest room, Belle smiled again in a manner that she hoped was seductive and not just awkward. Going to bed with Aiden had been a learning curve for the both of them, really. It had been so long since Aiden had been in a relationship that he was re-learning everything over, and Belle had not had all that much experience herself. In a way they were learning their way around each other together, and Belle was very happy about that. Ever since that first time together, when things had not exactly gone as she had planned, she had never felt bad about her own sexual inexperience, and she had very much enjoyed everything that she was learning.

Six months ago she didn’t think that she would ever have had the confidence to get into bed with someone ever again, so afraid of jumping into something that she regretted on the rebound.

Now though, everything was going well. She was a part time underwear model, after all.

“Why don’t you get comfortable and I’ll show you what I’ve got?”

Aiden smirked. “Oh yes, I’m very much looking forward to this.”

Belle grabbed the discreet red carrier bag printed with the Devilish logo from where it was sitting innocently on top of her overnight bag and she disappeared into the bathroom, shaking out the contents and spreading them out on the tiled floor. She could do this. She could wear this. She might have gone completely beetroot red when she had tried it on in the shop, but that was beside the point. It was not something that she would ever have consented to wear for a catalogue shoot, but it was only Aiden who was going to see it now, and she knew that his reaction was going to be a favourable one.

Belle had never yet bought anything red whilst revamping her underwear wardrobe, stating that she’d had enough of red and black; she wanted to wear colours that she liked and that suited her. Unfortunately, like most stores, the vast majority of what Devilish offered around Christmas time was in red in some shape or form. The piece that she was putting on now had been a real find, pure white in snowflake pattern lace with little velvet bows. Ruby had modelled it for the Christmas catalogue shoot and Belle might never have come across it if her friend hadn’t quickly shown it off during the lunch break. She gave herself a once over in the mirror and tried to ignore the fact that her face was very obviously reddening before she bit the bullet and stepped out into the bedroom with a confidence that was partially fake. Do the brave thing and bravery would follow. It was the mantra that she had been trying to live by ever since she had left Gaston, and thus far it had worked out for her.

And it had worked again. Aiden was looking at her as if his eyes were about to pop out of his head, and she knew that she had made the right decision.

“Yes, I think I’m definitely going to enjoy this gift,” he said. He sounded slightly strangled, which Belle had learned was a sign that she was onto a good thing. She gave him a little twirl. He’d seen the outfit before, of course, when he’d photographed Ruby wearing it, but he’d never seen it on her. It was a baby doll style nightdress and matching panties, seemingly innocuous but for the very sheer lace, until on closer inspection it became apparent that the little velvet bows over the bra cups and panties were actually concealing the fact that it was a peephole set. Belle could see Aiden’s fingers twitching, longing to get his hands on her and undo those bows to see beneath them. Belle had liked the novelty value of being uncovered but still dressed, however loosely the term might be applied, and she sauntered over to the bed, crawling up Aiden’s body until she could kiss him deeply. He gave in readily, pulling her in close against his chest with a hungry eagerness and Belle grinned against his mouth as she felt the first stirrings of his cock against her thigh.

“This is ok?” she ventured when he finally let her up for air.

“God, Belle, this is way more than ok. You know that.”

Belle smiled. “I like to check.”

“And I love you for it.”

She had been worried when she discovered how much she liked being the more dominant partner in the bedroom, indeed, it had freaked her out a little bit that perhaps she was projecting so many years of being more submissive under Gaston out in an unhealthy way, and it had taken a lot of persuading from Ariel, Ruby and Aiden himself to talk her down from the panic she was getting herself into, that this was not toxic, that Aiden liked it as much as she did, and that as long as they communicated clearly, then there was nothing wrong with it. It wasn’t even so much a question of dominance, but of setting the pace, and that was something that Aiden was more than happy to let her do on a regular basis – something that Belle loved him for.

She leaned back in to recapture his mouth again, her tongue exploring every corner of him. He tasted of whisky, sharp and smoky, and Belle could probably have got drunk off the taste of him alone. His hand came up to cup her breast, fingers toying with the ribbon that kept the cup closed, and she pulled away, tutting.

“Not yet, Aiden. All in good time. First of all I think that we need to do something about the fact that you’re incredibly overdressed right now.”

He wasn’t as overdressed as he could have been. Belle had grown so used to seeing him in his immaculate suits all the time that it had come as a bit of a shock to her when she had first seen him wearing jeans and a sweater in off-duty mode, and she had fallen about laughing earlier in the day when she had seen him in his Rudolf Christmas jumper. Thankfully he had already taken that off whilst she was getting ready in the bathroom; she didn’t think that she would have been able to go through with the seduction had she come out of the en suite to find Rudolf staring back at her.

Together they made quick work of his shirt buttons and the thing was flung in the vague direction of the laundry hamper, before another frenzy of kisses took them over. There was more urgency now that the clothes were coming off, more unadulterated need. Belle moved away from his mouth, savouring all the little groans in the back of his throat as she kissed her way over his jaw, down his neck and over his chest, flicking her tongue over his nipples and making him gasp as they tightened under her touch. She couldn’t help grinning against his skin; Aiden’s body was like an interactive map and the more she roamed over it, the more wonderful and more expressive noises he made. His belly was quivering with the effort of trying to stay still, his hips wanting to buck up against her, and she sat back on her heels, tracing a finger down the line of dark hair that disappeared under his waist band, promising good things beneath. The bulge in the front of his trousers was getting more and more obvious with every moment, and Belle decided to take pity on him, unfastening his belt and fly and helping him wriggle the jeans off.

“There,” she said once he was down to his tented boxers. “I think we’re on more of a level playing field now. He was hot and hard beneath her as she crept back up his body, but Belle was determined to make this last for as long as possible and truly draw out this Christmas celebration as much as she could. “Now you can do a little exploration.”

He kissed her first, pouring more love and desire than she could possibly have hoped for into the kiss. Since they had taken their time in getting to know each other intimately, kissing had been something that they had partaken in often, indeed as much as possible, to sate that hunger that they both felt but didn’t quite feel ready to try acting upon again yet. Kissing Aiden was something that Belle thoroughly enjoyed, but there was more to come tonight, and they both knew that this was only the beginning. She felt his hand come up to cup her right breast, rubbing his thumb over the little bow that covered her nipple, making the bud beneath it pebble and harden, eager for his warm fingers against it directly, and she pressed her chest forward into his touch. Deft fingers plucked at the velvet ribbon and the cup fell open, Aiden’s hand covering her breast and rubbing her nipple.

“Like what you find?” she asked. Aiden nodded, lowering his mouth to her and tugging on her nipple, laving his tongue over it whilst his other hand rubbed at the other bow, eventually untying it and repeating the treatment on the other side. Belle threw her head back, her hands anchored against his shoulders feeling like the only thing that was keeping her from taking off into a little flight of pleasure. Learning to let go and give in to all the wonderful sensations had been one of the hardest things to overcome when they had begun to sleep together again after the missteps of their first night. To just focus on the pleasure that he was so artfully and generously giving her, rather than worrying about what his own reactions might be, was harder than it looked, although when he was doing that with his tongue… That made it a lot easier to distract herself from overthinking the entire situation.

“That’s it,” Aiden crooned, kissing his way back up her chest to her lips and giving her nipples a sly pinch. “Just go with it, let it come. Relax.”

She liked the fact that she could relax with him, that she truly felt safe and not like she was going to be judged for her hang-ups. Another of the things that she loved about him so very much.

There was a final ribbon holding the baby doll fastened in the front, but Aiden skipped past that one, dragging his hands down her sides and up under the hem to rest on her hips, thumbs massaging little circles there over the waistband of her panties.

“A little bit more exploration?” he suggested, getting closer and closer to the split gusset.

Belle nodded. “Oh yes, yes, please.”

“Then your wish is my command.” He grinned at her. “It is Christmas, after all.”

He cupped her mound and Belle ground down against the heel of his hand, wanting as much friction as she could get from him. One finger was stroking her along the line where the gusset was open, just about touching her through the fabric but not as near as she wanted him, and he fumbled a little with the first of the two bows, the one that sat neatly over her clit. The fabric was already damp from her juices, Belle could tell as his fingers slipped on the wet velvet. Finally it was open and she keened against him, head thrown back as he coaxed her pearl out and it swelled under his touch, circling around the little nub but not touching her directly on it. Belle closed her eyes; she didn’t think that she would be able to open them if she tried, and everything else in the room faded away as she focussed just on the wonderful things that Aiden was doing with his hand. She felt the second bow give way and his fingertip press into her entrance; she took him readily, clenching around him and wanting more, so much more.

“So wet and sweet, my love,” he murmured as he continued to pet at her inner walls, pushing up another finger inside her and curling in just the right way, a way that Belle had never been able to get the right angle on herself. His other hand was still petting at her clit, thumb stroking her firmly, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. She was nearly there, she was so close, so desperately close, and…

And now she was overthinking it all again, and pleasure began to give way to frustration as she felt that plateau come. Everything he was doing felt wonderful, but something was stopping her letting go and falling over that wonderful peak with him. She’d already accepted that she wasn’t going to have an orgasm every time they made love and that the discovery of her pleasure was still something of a work in progress, but it was Christmas and she was wearing the most audacious lingerie she’d ever owned and she’d been looking forward to this moment all day and it just wasn’t fair…

“Hey.” Aiden’s voice was soft and Belle gave a moan of something akin to annoyance as she felt the hand toying with her clit move, but then a moment later it was cupping her cheek and she opened her eyes. “Don’t think about it,” he said. “Just let it come. It won’t come if you don’t let it.”

His fingers curled inside her again and Belle shivered, furrowing her brow when he pulled them out.

“I’ve had an idea,” he said simply. “Scooch up?”

Belle glanced down; there was a dark, damp spot on the front of his boxers where his cock was already leaking pre-cum. He must have been aching for her, but he gave himself no mind and just rubbed her thigh, getting her to move up his body.

“Come up,” Aiden coaxed. “Right up.”

Belle preferred being on top, ever since that first time that had not gone according to plan. She liked the control it gave her and the fact it made her feel more like an active participant, rather than slipping back into the ceiling watching that she had always done before. As much as she liked Aiden going down on her, she was willing to sacrifice that if she stayed on top with just his fingers. Now, though, as he shifted down so that his face was between her thighs, she was going to get the best of both worlds.

“Are you sure?” she asked him.

“Very sure. I trust you not to smother me. I’ve got you. Just let yourself give in to it.”

She had come so close before that it really didn’t take all that much to bring her back into the moment after the little interruption, and the first touch of Aiden’s hot tongue against her clit was electrifying. One hand was under her bum, keeping her from collapsing down onto his face completely, and the other was pushing two fingers back inside her clutching channel, curling as he had done before. Belle grabbed the headboard, leaning on it and closing her eyes once more, letting herself go with the exquisite pleasure that she was getting from his hands and his mouth, his tongue lapping over her clit, now circling around it, now hard, now light. Her nipples were begging for touch, the lace and velvet of the lingerie teasing them in just the right way as she moved against Aiden’s mouth…

“Oh, Aiden…”

Her release was blissful, and all the more intense for its unintentional delay. It wasn’t sharp or sudden but the culmination of so much build up, a tumbling fall over an edge rather than a starburst.

“That’s it. Let go, love. I’ve got you.”

He drew his fingers out of her achingly slowly, and as he brought her back down and she flopped against his chest to get her breath back, she could see her juices glistening on his mouth and chin. There was something erotic in the sight that never failed to give her a little aftershock of pleasure as she came down into the glow.

“Happy Christmas,” she mumbled against his skin, and she felt his laugh rather than heard it.

“A very happy Christmas.”

They lay there for a moment, until Belle shifted and felt his hard length against her thigh. She reached down, opening his boxers and taking him out, stroking his blood-dark cock and feeling him twitch in her hand.

“I’ve decided I like underwear with holes in,” she said plainly, running her thumb over his flushed tip and smearing the pearly fluid. “It just makes life so much more practical, don’t you think?”

“Mm.” Aiden nodded, words evidently a bit beyond him as she tugged on his length and his hips bucked up to meet her on the down stroke. “Yes.”

Belle slipped her leg over his hip, lining them up as best she could without moving from her current position. The open ribbons of her panties kept getting in the way and in the end he had to lend a hand, but after a little more wriggling, he was sunk deep inside her, his head thrown back and lips parted in ecstasy as Belle began to move on him, rocking her hips to meet his. It didn’t take him long to come, and Belle couldn’t say that she really blamed him having been on the edge for so long. As long as he enjoyed the experience, that was what mattered, and that was the one thing that she had taken away from their love-making. As long as they had a good time, it didn’t really matter how long it took either of them to get there, if they even got there at all.

“Oh Belle.” Aiden gave a soft, sated sigh, and Belle could hear the happiness in his voice as he spoke. “You are so very wonderful, my love.”

She shifted her hips to let him slip out of her, but neither of them made any move to clean up or make themselves decent ready for sleep.

“I love you too,” she whispered.

They had a long way to go yet, and Belle knew that there would still be moments when her mind would run away with her and she’d have to talk things out with Ariel and Ruby to get her back on track. But she knew that she was moving in the right direction, and here in Aiden’s bed with his arms around her and his seed drying on her skin, she knew that she would get there in the end.

At length he shifted a little, tucking himself back into his boxers and pulling the covers up over them where the night air was beginning to chill, but he pulled her in closer to his side and did not complain when she nestled her head in against his shoulder, simply planting a kiss in her hair.

“You know, I think you ought to venture into the naughty section of the catalogue more often,” he said, flicking at one of the loose ribbons on her baby doll. Belle could only smile, a smile that became a giggle that was nigh on uncontrollable, and she had to bury her face in Aiden’s chest to prevent her from waking the whole household.

“What’s got into you?” he asked, obviously trying very hard not to laugh himself.

“Nothing, nothing. It was a long train of thought. I was just thinking about how it could have been so easy for me never to have met you, and how far I’ve come – we’ve come – since then.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Aiden said. He stroked her hair. “Sleep now, love. It’s been a long day.”

“Yes. But a good one.”

They fell into silence, still warm in each other’s arms, and Belle continued to think about the course of their relationship and all the ups and downs and doubts and moments of confidence that had brought them to this moment.

And it had all started with a bra.

[mandibierly]

Danny McBride breaks down that wild 'Vice Principals' ending

Danny McBride in the series finale of ‘Vice Principals’ (Photo: Fred Norris/HBO)

Spoiler alert! If you tell Danny McBride that you thought Lee Russell (Walton Goggins) really had been shot dead by Ms. Abbott (Edi Patterson) in the series finale of HBO’s Vice Principals, you’ll make him very happy.

“I just love hearing that you really bought it, ’cause that’s sort of what our goal was with this whole show,” he says of himself and fellow exec producers/directors Jody Hill and David Gordon Green. “We all felt like we were bored of just watching something and knowing where it’s going to go. We felt like, if we can just make something that people don’t see the end coming a mile away, we’ll have done what we were supposed to do here. … We’d adjust back and forth between super-dark-weird drama and dumb comedy — it just makes the audience kind of sit back on their heels. You never really know what’s going to come. So I think it’s kind of funny to think that when you get into that, you really do think, ‘Wow, they can kill Lee Russell ’cause they don’t give a f**k.’ We did give a s**t, but we’re just pretending that we don’t.”

Lee had figured out that it was jilted Ms. Abbott who’d shot McBride’s Neal Gamby in the Season 1 finale, and then, jealous of Gamby’s relationship with Russell, tried to frame Lee for the attempted murder by planting evidence in his car in Season 2’s Spring Break episode.

“Lee’s flaw is that he’s a compulsive liar. It made more sense to us that that would be ultimately what would come to damage him. That his reputation is so severe, being accused of this and no one believing him [when he insists he didn’t shoot Gamby] — that’d almost be a greater way to have him have to explore himself,” McBride says. “Ultimately, at the end of the day, these guys have done so much bad stuff, but I think that’s the way it is in life: justice isn’t always served for our greatest wrongs. Sometimes it’s the small slights that we don’t even think of as a wrong that come back to bite us in the ass.”

The producers had decided Abbott was the killer before they began filming the series, though they didn’t tell Patterson and the rest of the cast until they got to Season 2. “We didn’t want everybody tipping off what was going to happen in the first season,” McBride says.

He admits it was a bit of a gamble. “What was interesting with this show was we never shot a pilot. We wrote the whole series and we just started shooting, so we never had that time to just see, is everybody going to work? Are all these actors going to pan out? Which I think is what most people use the pilot for — to test-drive the concept of the show,” he says. “But with Edi Patterson, I mean she was just so funny from the very first day that she showed up on set. She just made us so excited to see where her character was going to go. So we didn’t sway from her being the culprit. I think she’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met before. I had just the absolute best time working with her. And honestly, when the show was over, I just kind of looked at her and was like, ‘Me and you have to do something else together again.’ So, we locked up, Edi and myself, and wrote this script together that’s a vehicle for her that I want to direct. So hopefully after this performance of hers, someone will finance that and make that movie.”

He would also love to work again with Goggins, who became a good friend. They had so many memorable scenes together, but he points to the one in the finale after the tiger that Lee had ordered for graduation attacks him. “The one that really got me the most was when he’s, like, dying for the second time because of the tiger wounds,” McBride says. “I remember him and I both were like, ‘This is what the whole entire series is about. It’s about this scene. If we can just make people take this ride for this scene, then we will have done what we needed to do with the show.’ So much so that we were actually supposed to shoot that scene one night. Then the night had kind of gone wrong, and Walt and I were both like, ‘Let’s not do it tonight. We’re not in the mindset. Let’s push it down the road a little bit.’ So we both just kind of knew that we needed to be in the right head space for that scene, and those two guys basically just acknowledging that they helped each other move past this f**ked up part in their life.”

Lee told Gamby that this last year was his favorite year of his whole life, and that he loves him. Then, he badgered Gamby into saying that he loves him, too. “That was all pretty much in the script. We probably improv-ed the least amount of any [project] we’ve done on this. I think that’s because there were so many spinning plates,” McBride says.

Yes, when Russell changed the school’s mascot to the tigers at the beginning of Season 2, it was so they could have that ending. “We started with [the idea that] these guys are out of date. Their views are out of date, the way they see the world is out of date, and it’s unfair. So the idea that the symbol that represents them in the beginning is the Native American warrior — something that is obviously insulting to so many people, something that really was out of place and out of context, it sort of makes sense. And then the idea that Lee’s ambition turns their warrior into the tiger — that’s how ambition sort of ends up eating him at the end. That was always in the DNA of [the show].”

Plus, we got to see the brilliant moment when Gamby, the ultimate disciplinarian, stopped the tiger from attacking again with the sheer force of his anger and a “f**k you.”

“He has so much rage and anger and displaced anger, this was a place for him to finally harness it, and try to use it to protect himself,” McBride says with a laugh.

Walton Goggins in the series finale of ‘Vice Principals’ (Photo: Fred Norris/HBO)

The finale ended with a flash-forward to three months later. Gamby’s still with Ms. Snodgrass (Georgia King), who’s now a published author, but he’s now the principal of a middle school. Lee, meanwhile, is the regional manager of a boutique in the mall. Gamby and Russell see each other in the food court and smile. But when Gamby looks again, Russell is gone. Does that mean they know their friendship is too toxic for them to spend time together? “I think that both of these guys [know] the importance that each of them played in their lives in this particular moment,” McBride says, “but I also think that both of them have grown enough to know that it’s probably better for the world if they don’t join forces.”

They never questioned where Lee would end up, he adds. “What’s really so funny is, ironically, when you write something like this where you explore these characters so deeply, by the end of it, your last episodes sort of end up writing themselves. You’ve set all this stuff up, and the characters sort of tell you where they need to go,” he says. “For some reason we just thought that he would take that lust of power and move into retail. He always cared about what he wore. He always had a sense for style. And it made sense that would be how he would build his empire again.”

And what’s the take-away from Gamby laying down the law for his new vice principal (Steve Little)? “Well, I think that Gamby learned a lot from Welles [Bill Murray]. I think he learned a lot more from Dr. Brown [Kimberly Hebert Gregory],” McBride says. “He is sort of using a little bit of her tactics of being open, but at the end of the day, letting people know that she shouldn’t be f**ked with.”

Maya Love and Danny McBride in the series finale of ‘Vice Principals’ (Photo: Fred Norris/HBO)

It’s a bittersweet fate for Gamby, for sure. “Weirdly, it’s one of the things that I find the most heartbreaking, when Gamby pulls up to that principal sign at a different school, because at the end of the day you know that North Jackson, and being there when his daughter was going to be there, is kind of all he ever wanted,” McBride says. “So I really look at that ending like he’s an exiled king that got booted out of his homeland. But the idea that Steve Little, who played Stevie Janowski on Eastbound, is there — [we’re] literally leaving the audience thinking that maybe all of the fun isn’t over just yet for him.”

Still, striking the right tone in the finale had to be tricky: we all know the criminal acts Russell and Gamby committed, and yet, we’ve grown to root for them. “We really set out to tell the story of the villain. In doing so, we didn’t even really want to totally redeem them, because I think true villains don’t just change overnight or become different people. So I think that there was a balance between how much justice do these guys deserve, and how much of it is just really like we’re showing this character piece?” McBride says. “Like with Tony Soprano in The Sopranos, you don’t necessarily have to see him get arrested or get killed for that to be a complete story. I think that’s sort of what we’re doing here. Do I think that being the principal of the middle school is a punishment enough for burning someone’s house down? Definitely not. But I think that in this world, it’s like we don’t really even know if this is all that’s going to happen to these guys. This is definitely a show about vice principals fighting for a job. When both of those guys are out of the running for that job, the story is sort of over, and the audience is kind of left to fill in the blanks of what happens next.”

The show was conceived as a limited series, but especially now that we’ve gotten to know the teachers so well in Season 2, maybe we could at least get a reunion special on the DVD? “I had probably the best time of my career working on the show and meeting these friends, and I love them — every one of them from Kimberly to Walton to Edi, Georgia, they’re all just incredible. I would love to work with all these guys again, and if it was in this world, if it was the right idea, I’d do it again,” McBride says. “But I think that part of what makes the story work is the idea that it isn’t designed to go on forever. We were really able to show character growth and flip the story on its ass because we didn’t have the restraints of having to make sure we maintained a formula that would be workable year after year after year. I think that’s what ultimately made the show interesting.”

As a viewer, it was satisfying to see how Gamby’s moments with the “workers” (DeShawn!), “bad kids” (yay, Robin Shandrell!), and “gold-star teachers” all built to them joining forces in the penultimate episode after Gamby and Russell’s epic brawl through the school. (McBride directed that fight in less than a day, by the way: “I just had to get creative and figure out how to shoot this in a way where I didn’t need to get in there and cover every single punch and kick,” he says. “So I was just walking around the set and came up with an idea for that tracking shot, and I just started to devise the whole fight that way — seeing these guys with the background, with the school, which is the other character of the show.”)

What was the most satisfying part for McBride in the end? “We took a year to write the whole series, and I swear to god I never had an anxiety attack ever in my life until about a week before we went down to shoot. I just woke up in the middle of the night, panicked in a straight-up anxiety attack, just because of the sheer amount of time we spent writing on this, then knowing we were about to go shoot it,” he says. “This whole thing was an adventure, and to be able to put that much energy into something, then to at the end of the day come up with something that you’re proud of, and that you’re happy with, and that you made new friends with — I think it’s the ultimate sort of pay-off because the whole thing was ultimately rewarding. It was such a fun way to make a living.”

Since he doubts we’ll get the trademark group commentary on the Season 2 Blu-ray (he hears it’s being rush-packaged for Christmas: “Maybe one day down the road Criterion will decide to release a TV show and they’ll have us do a commentary,” he jokes), can he at least answer one burning question: What did Lee do to get kicked out of gymnastics?!

“The world will never know,” McBride says with another laugh. “I know what he did, but I will never tell anyone. I will keep Lee Russell’s secret to the grave.”