#i just want to have proper discussions with people instead of dumping essays into peoples inboxes on anon

[frogfelonies]

sometimes i'm like "i have overcome all anxiety. i am no longer an anxious person" and then i feel mortified at the thought of something being The First Reblog onto a new blog. having a janky brain is really the gift that keeps on giving

[sillybayo]

Viewing Revolutionary Girl Utena from an Aspec (mainly asexual) Lens

Some notes before I begin;

-This ramble/essay/whatever contains discussions of CSA and objectification (specifically towards a brown little girl, which contains racist implications). I mean, its quite obvious considering the show I'm talking about, but I still think this is an important warning. Also, please remember that the majority of the characters in utena are 13-17. While I don't mind a deeper discussion into their sexualities, desires, events, etc. etc., you need to remember that they're still children, and such topics need immense maturity. Please don't leave comments that sexualize the characters. It will leave me heavily disgusted.

-This is written under the assumption that Adolescence of Utena is an alternative universe, rather than a direct continuation from the show. This means that I don't think the characters in the movie remember each other nor the events from the show, and have a complete fresh start in all of their relationships.

-I'm not saying that these are the only possible interpretations or meanings, thats far from the truth. Its more so, "This event is because of this, but I also think its because of this on top of that." I just want to share my headcanons, as I think they make sense and want to give others a different perspective.

-I've only finished the show during the spring of last year, and I'm in the middle of a rewatch (somewhere in the black rose arc). I apologize if I misremember things, forgot something, or state something that lacks clarity.

-I'm perfectly aware that asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, and doesn't exactly mean that you don't enjoy sex. However, I'm using asexual (and other identities I mention here) as a general term containing both preferences. Absolutely no shame towards my acespec sex lovers, y'all rule the earth >:3!

-This is purely a thought dump, so I apologize if topics tend to bounce around, not make any sense, and/or the lack of proper episode references (like saying "when Utena and Anthy did a silly goofy dance", instead of "on episode 17, so and so"). This is really just for fun :3! I wanna put my ideas out there and want to talk about them with more people.

Now with that out of the way, I want to share why I think Utena and Anthy are acespec bambi lesbians. Lets get started ^o^!!

I'll start with Anthy. Throughout the entire franchise, she has been seen as an sexual object. In the show, this is less obvious until we're further introduced to Akio, since when people own her, shes seen as a key to revolutionizing the world, and going up to the castle illusion above. The farthest we see more romantic or intimate scenarios with Anthy and the duelists (other than Utena, of course), is her and Saionji exchanging diaries, and Mikis crush with misogynistic seasonings throughout.

Back to the topic of Akio though, he has been forcing her into sex for who knows how long, to the point where its her duty. She has only been an object to anyone and everyone she meets. Someone to project desires onto. Even Utena has accidentally done this (though it was far more tame, as she simply said Anthy wants more friends, when she, too, is lonely herself).

In the movie, this becomes much more clear. The way Saionji rubs her face, the way Touga talks about her, how Utena asks "Is this what the rose bride does?". The things she does for Akio has expanded to duelists. Once again, it has become her duty.

This is further proven when Utena and Anthy lay in bed after the first duel. She touches her, even without prior consent. Ever since I first saw this, I didn't think it was a sign of attraction, but rather, that Anthy just assumed that was what Utena wanted. This isn't the only thing that Anthy does without asking or talking it out first. She enters Utenas dorm room, she looks through her clothes. She now belongs to Utena, so she must prepare for her usual task.

So then, what if, with all of this in mind, that Anthy doesn't like sex at all? This follows the similar concept of her being a lesbian, since shes only forced to be with men, and has shown no genuine interest nor happiness towards any of them (well, not concept, as she is a canon lesbian, but you get the point).

Theres also a scene in the show where she implies that she didn't enjoy intercourse with Akio, in which he replies "Why must you torture me?" (once again, I apologize if I remembered this wrong). Theres obvious reasonings for this. One, hes her adult brother, two, shes a lesbian, and three, this is rape. But considering what I stated above, Anthy possibly being asexual is another reason.

Meanwhile, instead of being forced into romance and sex with other duelists, with Utena, theres always this more calm and comfortable air. Of course its because Utena actually cares about Anthy, and duels for friendship and love alone. But neither of them suggests sexual intent towards one another. Theres this emphasis on pure romance and patience, compared to other intimate relationships in the show and movie (keep emphasis and comparisons in mind!)

Although, Anthy could also easily be seen as demisexual, as she always chooses Utena in the end. Personally, I view the ending of the movie as nonsexual, as the removal of clothes being more about breaking out of their roles in the story, and the kissing being them finally being comfortable with their love for one another. Once again, thats just how I view it though. But Anthy growing a trustful bond with Utena is something a lot of demiaces can relate to. She can even be demiaro! Thats another wonderful read into her arc. Generally, I personally don't think Anthy is allo, and watching the franchise with amatonormativity and allonormativity in mind just doesn't feel exactly right, y'know?

Moving onto Utena, I'll be talking more about particular emphases, and how Utena acts towards sex compared to other characters in the show. Showing how one character stands out compared to all of the others, even subtly, is a writing tool often used in queer storytelling. For example, how all of the girls in monster high are boy crazy, except for Clawdeen.

Whenever Utena is put into a situation that implies sexual intimacy, shes shown to be uncomfortable. Like when she bdoyswapped with Anthy, and Saionji pulled her aside and removed a part of his clothing (only to reveal a diary though, thank goodness). When Touga constantly played with her hair or got really close to her. When Akio made continuous advances towards her, trapping her in a kiss, and eventually raping her. All of them show her either being terribly displeased, or groomed.

But she enjoys the idea of sex with girls, right? No, it doesn't seem like it. In the movie, when Anthy touches her, she immediately backs away and is clearly distressed. When she has to pose nude for a painting, she hesitates and clearly doesn't want to reveal herself, even though the task is nonsexual in nature. You could turn to the ending of the movie and say that shes interested, but I've already gave my personal thoughts on that.

Characters like Shiori, Kozue, Touga, Saionji, and Kanae, compared to her, however, don't mind about such things at all. Though for them, it could easily be read as trauma response, especially Touga. This is one of the many ways that Utena stands out instead of fitting in with the rest, and why I heavily believe she is not only asexual, but also caedsexual, akoisexual, and sex repulsed.

Andd that should be the end of my ramble! I hope you enjoyed peaking into my silly little brain. Rgu means a lot to me for many different reasons. It helped me become more comfortable with being a lesbian. It helped me figure out my gender and my relationship with it. It helped me process the trauma I was going through at the time. It improved my writing and analytical skills. Its truly my favorite show of all time, and I'm so glad I decided to watch it. My ramble may not be as metaphorical and deep as all of the other utena essays out there, but I had fun writing this :3. And to the aros, aces, and lesbians reading this,, I love you,, mwah <3

[nysus-temple]

[Helen/Paris] and [Odysseus/Calypso(and/or)Circe] similarities

I shouldn't have actually written this down? Probably. Am I still gonna do it anyways? Yeah. 8 years in the Trojan Cycle thingy and people are still discussing the interactions between this characters, damn, I thought it was clear enough.

Anyways. Onto the similarities and why I keep thinking until this day that both Helen and Odysseus were held captives. It's a short essay, since i'm just dumping my thoughts and other people's thoughts after seeing the ammount of bullshit that goes around here.

Were you kidnapped or seduced?

Agh, jeez.

So can we, you know, start from the part that it's Aphrodite the one who does literally everything? DO NOT demonize Aphrodite, this IS NOT what i'm telling you to do.

She had to do her part of the deal, that's why she gave Helen to Paris as a prize for choosing her. She's a goddess, we know how this works.

The thing is... Okay, Aphrodite forced everything since she promised it to Paris, but was Helen okay with this?

*checks notes* so Gorgias, a sophist philosopher (oh that explains why people never talk about him) said "but if Helen was raped by violence and illegally assaulted and unjustly insulted, it is clear that the raper, as the insulter, did the wronging, and the raped, as the insulted, did the suffering." ... Well, that's interesting.

I mean sure, we can EVEN still think that somehow she was seduced or whatever, but then in the Iliad, when Aphrodite tells her to go and comfort Paris, she refuses and fights with her. Helen literally fought with a goddess, explaining that she did not want to go with Paris.

But Aphrodite is a goddess, you cannot question the will of the gods, they're GODS for a reason. So she goes in the end, with fear.

(We even have... Whatever the hell Euripides' tragedies where. Since according to him, Helen was never in Troy, instead it was an ilussion made by Aphrodite, the real Helen was in Egypt. psjdksjfkd what. I kind of like it tbh, it's fun. But since Helen says in the Iliad that she's been 20 years in Troy already, that version just doesn't feel right. ANYWAYS-)

... Wait, 20 years? Why does that sound familiar? Ah, right, the other member of this essay. Odysseus.

Helen was kept against her will in Troy for 20 years, just like Odysseus was away from Ithaka for 20 years. Dude !!

I'll go with Calypso first since people defend her less than Circe (kind of) SO, you know the deal with translators acting as anything except translations? I believe that might have been the problem, at least in English, I don't recall an Spanish translation saying that he stayed with her for 7 years because he wanted too, lmao.

I myself haven't reach that far in my degree to translate the Odyssey nor the Iliad, but I still have copies of them in the original Greek. So you see, there's some small things that I have enough level to understand and translate by myself and realize how blind we all are.

Did he want to?

You know the whole deal with people not giving words from other languages the proper definition? In this passage of the Odyssey, the word used when saying that Odysseus "slept" with Calypso was anágke (ἀνάγκῃ). Which means, HEAR ME OUT, force, it means FORCE. And this next thing is more me being risky because as I said, I'm not that far in terms of translation levels, but in the text, it's in dative, the dative is used, in a simple definition, for denote the person or object affected.

He stayed with Calypso BY FORCE !! Shock. Wow. And I mean, he literally cries everyday because his only way to cope with the fact that he's trapped is by thinking about Penelope and Ithaka while crying looking at the sea. How can you see him staying willingly being like that? And the "he just left because he got tired of her" ... So you're saying that (trying to have the most mysognistic way of thinking ever) he got tired of an inmortal gorgeous nymph who would not age? You're telling me he preferred to leave, even if it was risky, than staying in an island that was considered a paradise? Yeah, no, sorry, not buying it. HIS ASS DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE, just like how Helen did not want to be in Troy. Move on. And now and quickly because the more I talk about this topic the more tired I grow out of Circe...

Odysseus just... Never says that he wants to? That he's fine with it? He literally just saw a sorceress trap his men and planning on killing them, so what was he gonna do against that? Hermes to the rescue... More or less ! He pretty much just told him to obey what he was told to, and that if he wanted to save his men from Circe, he had to do what she asked him too, after making her swear she wasn't gonna hurt them. So what gives, you're told BY THE GODS that you have to stay there for a little while if you want to keep your men safe and convince Circe of showing you your way out of the island.

Remember? Helen did what Aphrodite told her to because you can't question the will of the gods, same goes with Odysseus and Hermes. You do what they tell you to do because they're gods... And, I mean, Circe is Helios' daughter. Do you really think you could hurt the daughter of the Sun and move away with it? No. Just look at what happened with the cows !

And now, a nice similarity to end this.

In the Odyssey, it is clearly stated that Menelaus and Helen are FINE. They still love and care for eachother, they're still husband and wife. If you truly believe Menelaus didn't believe Helen... Then read the Odyssey?

20 years appart they were, following what Helen said in the Iliad, just how Penelope and Odysseus were 20 years appart and they still loved eachother and recognized their tricks despite the time.

Both Helen and Odysseus were trapped by people who had power over them, they couldn't do anything to be freed from them unless the will of the gods stated otherwise.

So, if after this you keep believing that Helen didn't love Menelaus anymore and that she's the culprit of the Trojan War; and that Odysseus didn't care for Penelope at all and he stayed with Circe and Calypso because he wanted too... Maybe you should start wearing glasses, since apparently you can't read well?

[kewltie]

you know what really get me going in regency au it’s that donghae is v much a socialite, he likes going to parties and socializing with people and being the center of attention. that isn’t going to change even with hyukjae around and though he wants to be part of hyukjae’s world of crimes and crime-fightings he’s not going to suddenly running around seoul’s underworld kicking ass and taking names bc that’s not who he is. i think a lot about these two and how they both bare seoul’s ‘image’ like donghae from an esteem noble family, raised in wealth and luxury, and represent all the prosperity and perfect clean image of seoul and then there’s hyukjae street kid, soldier, criminal, and justice/executioner for the empire getting his hands dirty where the empire wouldn’t and how they exist in the same space but are so so different in not only upbringing but their view on the world. 

donghae only had ever known the glittering world of the high society and hyukjae had worked his ass off to get where he is and even then when he managed a clean image of a wealthy merchant he can’t run away from his birth so he dived back down to seoul’s underbelly, serving the crown prince siwon’s interest, and doing things other wouldn’t do bc who wants deal with dead prostitutes or missing street kids except those who live and are raise there. and like donghae definitely want to know more about hyukjae and the place the raised hyukjae but he knows whatever he does he won’t ever be truly a part of it or understand it completely and he doesn’t always like the way hyukjae and allies set out to do (things that easily cross the lines of legality and brutality and murder that sits uncomfortably in his chest but this isn’t the seoul he grew up in). and hyukjae won’t ever feel comfortable at donghae’s social dinners and parties where people trade jab in thinly disguises politeness and people wields word as weapon pointed at each other throat so yea they have their differences def. 

my point is that they’re never going to fully be immerse each other lives/world but they tolerate it for each other (even when it’s new and shy and awkward they still want to understand) and the thing is donghae may be running around seoul and helping hyukjae in one of his many investigation but he’s not going to ever be at ease at holding a gun or pointing a knife at someone’s throat (LITERALLY) and he doesn’t feel like he’s standing toe to toe with hyukjae at first. bc there’s so many things hyukjae’s friends and allies can offer him but donghae isn’t a soldier or a fighter, he’s not super intelligence, and he doesn’t have the kind of connections (not when he’s ostracized after marrying hyukjae for his deep pockets) that can assist hyukjae but the the thing is donghae doesn’t have to change or do anything different. he just has to be himself.

donghae loves dancing and going out and having luncheons and parties and that’s a fact but he’s also an avid reader of books. he has an entire library dedicated to his books and it’s not not exactly a common knowledge but it’s always there--donghae loves dancing, going out and parties and he also loves book. that’s just the way it is and donghae think it’s anything significant about that fact but with just being himself he manages to do things others couldn’t for hyukjae. like hyukjae’s spy networks is truly impressive and deeply rooted but it takes a lot of time and effort to get bits and pieces of information and it’s really dangerous for everyone in involve yet donghae can easily get these information with just a careful probe and a slip of the tongue. 

so like every sunday’s afternoon without fail donghae goes out and meets up with his social club for tea. what others don’t know is that it’s actually more like a book club than anything but it’s kind of hush hush thing, where everybody think they’re having a tea party and gossip instead of ya know they’re discussing things that aren’t proper while catching up on their reading (affairs, scandals, secrets, etc). it’s like fight club for high society except instead of the usual fisticuffs it’s just ladies/gents reading books too salacious and inflammatory for public viewing. most of the time they’re just reading trashy porn romance books that ladies and gents of modest upbringing shouldn’t be reading but sometimes they read essays and banned books of people who offer controversial view points and aim to stir up the public unrest. these members are second/third/last sons/daughters and mistresses and wives and people that aren’t necessary important in their household but are attached to key political, high ranking member of high society (ears, dukes, governor. ministers, etc) and they have their ears and confidants and in this book club where everything can be talk in out in the open and they can dump their woes and problems and their camaraderie and where social class/hierarchy and expectation doesn’t exists, these men and women feel comfortable to talk about things that wouldn’t be able to share anywhere else. 

so donghae’s social/book club is the center of information network of seoul’s high society and even though his reputation been ruined for being a ‘gold digging hussy’, in the book club it doesn’t matter bc what happen at book club stay in book club and what’s going out there doesn’t effect their circle, so donghae still keep his prominent standing as a founding member and he’s a key figure in the circle (he also writes some salacious content for them bc secret trashy romance novelists!donghae gives me pure joy) so he’s privy to A LOT OF INFORMATION that normal people or even spies take a v v long time to get but donghae just ask and carefully coaxes the information out of them. so in his own ways donghae help hyukjae tremendously when back info to hyukjae, not always since it’s /book club/ there’s a vow of secrecy and brother/sisterhood there, and he play mediator b/t hyukjae and that person of interest in his book club and he’s not doing anything different but it’s significant in his own way and by being who he is he changes everything. 

what i really is that they have their differences and they don’t fully have to accept/understand each other world and that there’s no need for grand gesture on either side bc love isn’t always about display of grand gestures but small things and donghae’s small and insignificant action of going to his book club every sunday afternoon is a ripple that effect all of seoul. but it’s not like there’s not change in them at all like who they are as a whole is the same person but donghae being around hyukjae starts to see the crack in his perfect world (how he would have turned up his nose on slums of seoul and the ppl that inhabit them and saw them as others and their issues and problems lesser than his own) and it becomes unignorable now. it’s not just other ppl problem but it’s also hyukjae and now his problem too bc these people are hyukjae’s people so they’re his also. 

basically donghae’s sunday afternoon book club is srs bsn and saves the world (or at least seoul)!!!!!!!!!!