#i just wanna be good | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sadistic-softie · 6 months

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you know what's fun? having a panic attack. crying and hyperventilating freaking tf out over nothing but you cant stop. all while also falling deeper and deeper into self-loathing and lonliness you cause yourself but you can't figure out how to fix. All I want is to be loved but im so afraid of it that i just keep pushing it further and further away the more i want it. All i keep thinking whenever i have a potential friend is, "Either I'm gonna hurt this person on accident or they're gonna hurt me on purpose" and i can't drop the thought. I just wanna be good enough. I just wanna be a good person. Instead I just feel like a pathetic crybaby faliure idiot piece of shit who fucks up everything and makes a fool of themself online by carelessly dumping it all over my shitty horny blog because I'm too coward to say it to anyone in my personal life. I only have one friend and I already hurt them just by being around them. I broke their heart because of unrequited love and I keep not talking to them and just fucking do the bare minimum to "maintain" the friendship. I wanna fucking kms

#panic attack #avpd #actually avpd #avpd vent #avpd feels #avoidant personality disorder #crying #tw sui talk #tw sui ideation #tw vent #self hatred #insecurity #i dont wanna hurt anyones feelings!!!#i just wanna be good #I just wanna be loved #i just want to be able to show people how much i care abt them #“fun” is sarcastic

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possibly-pasta · 10 months

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in the bathroom at work desperately googling how to better show that you love and care for someone. i want to show it and know how to show it right. i don’t want to ask because i feel like that defeats the purpose. I need to figure it out and do it. because i’m obviously doing something wrong. i need to rea search love languages and how they interact with queer and autistic people. am i just doing the same Well I Just Thought That’s How You Do It when it comes to showing appreciation and love??? i don’t wanna keep doing that, but i also feel like if i have to ask how to show love that it won’t be as meaningful when i do that thing??? i don’t know maybe i’m just overthinking it. i am so anxious rn and im surprised i could do my job without my hands shaking too much. i don’t wanna hurt them. i wanna be a good partner. i am very u well right now and that’s no excuse, but i just wish i knew how to do better. maybe i didn’t say thank you for food yesterday. i should make sure to tonight. i just love them so much and i don’t wanna hurt them. i want to do what they need to feel loved. i feel like a fucking asshole and i don’t even know what i did wrong. i just wanna be right for them.

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spitblaze · 6 months

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I don't see people gas up gnc and butch transfems nearly enough, can we get a fuckin round of applause for gnc and butch transfems

#spitblaze says things #transgender #transfem #mtf #several very good friends of mine are butch/gnc transfems and they both rule immensely #also theres just not enough appreciation for butch/gnc women generally but especially not transfem ones #not to do performative activism while having a post about not being a performative activist going around #i just wanna shout out a group that i feel is often overlooked #doin numbers

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yourangle-yuordevil · 9 months

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That time in ancient Greece when Aziraphale needed a speedy horse and accidentally invented the pegasus

VS.

Whatever Crowley had going on in medieval times

#Crowley just really misses the unicorns ok???#Also Crowley didn't start from a horse to make a new unicorn #he looked at a horse and was like.... nah #then looked at a goat and was like YEAAAAH LET'S GOO LET'S MAKE YOU BIG AF AND YOU CAN ALSO SPIT FIRE WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!#While Aziraphale is fretting over the fact that he accidentally gave WINGS to a HORSE and every time that the angels asks about it he's lik #whaaat?? PegaSUS naaaah never heard about it. Must be a made up thing. humans...right?? silly little things ahahah *sweat nervously*#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #pegasus #unicorn #Do I wanna draw the precious good omens beans? yes.#is this an excuse to draw more horses? also yes.#medieval crowley #ancient greek aziraphale #CAVALLIIIIIII 🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴🐎🐴#good omens comic #historical husbands

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theroguemedusa · 7 months

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#knifeposting #ive never gotten the opportunity to really experience being somebody's sub and #i just wanna be good #i just wanna be held #and wanted

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chloesimaginationthings · 9 months

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In every FNAF universe William Afton can't count

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ronanlynchbf · 1 year

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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY

#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt #the haunting of hill house #ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the #next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for #you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨

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phantomrose96 · 10 months

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Actually the funniest part of the entire James Somerton debacle is the response his cowriter Nick gave. For context, Hbomberguy talks a bit about Nick as a cowriter, and there is not any strong evidence implicating Nick of also plagiarizing, so Hbomberguy takes the angle of "Nick is probably not (also) responsible for the plagiarism".

Nick's response?

To claim he could not be part of the plagiarism, because he does not read. And does not do research...

SOURCE: I Fact-Checked The Worst Video Essayist On YouTube - YouTube, video essay by Todd in the Shadows.

The second screen cap is maybe a tongue-in-cheek joke... but bold choice when everyone's eyes are on you to respond to serious allegations. And this screencap doesn't include the other wishy-washy statements, pre-video, from Nick saying to the effect of "I write based on vibes. I come up with an idea and ruminate on it." For research videos. For educational videos about queer history and queer media culture.

Adds flavor to the Todd video, which goes through two-dozen examples of Somerton videos which just claim... provably factually incorrect bullshit.

This guy is a writer. An author. You could not waterboard "I don't read" out of me if I were aiming to launch a writing career.

Beating the plagiarism allegations by confidently asserting you suck too bad to ever get that far.

#hbomberguy #just... so fascinated with this #like was it an admittance under duress?#like 'no officer i did not kill that man because I was spending the night with my mistress'#or is it like a roundabout flex... like 'im a writer who doesnt read (and look how good my writing is just naturally)'#i wanna know

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heavy-buddy · 1 year

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having another “maybe I’m not meant to be a writer” arc

#i’m just like that :tm:#I can barely shit out a 2k word fic #meanwhile these mfs are cranking out 5k words a week #and if I try to do that I think I might die #‘oh but buddy quality over quanity’ QUALITY IS QUANTITY IN THE WRITING WORLD MOTHERFUCKER #i try my best but it’s never as detailed as others are #even the bad writers are better than me #they have more passion and love for their projects then I ever will #writing is such a fucking chore #I actively dread doing it #even if it’s just a few sentences #I just wanna be Good #good at writing #I want people to care

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ryssbelle · 5 months

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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!

Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎

#my art #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanart #style mimic #sorry for the @s btw #yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also #this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made #i think they all got together and drew with one another #which is really cool #but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot #and ive seen others do it too so i was just like #wow they really know each others styles really well #until i thought about it and read their posts some more #style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice #and a good way to explore other ways of doing things #like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone #also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit #so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it #anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont #but ye #i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like #ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while #sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style #so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic #Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy #being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another #buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects #so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref #as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one

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ineffable-romantics · 1 year

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"The demon who now?"

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seraphimsinful · 1 year

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Mystomachbjust feels like. An empty pit idk

#why cant i be good #i just wanna be good #i want to be pretty #and soft anf gentle. and something good #i just feel like inalways ruin things #im always annoying anf evil and just. the worst idk #i feel selfish and dumb #selfish and dumb a.nd. ugly snf pushy #desperate dumb idiot.

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time-woods · 1 year

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so i finally watched good omens after years of putting it off. . .

this is how i cope with most things

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #i saw that one cat image and sent it to some friends n jus said 'crowley @ angel' then i was compelled to draw it #ouuughh the ggay influence #dont ask why hes on the floor #i didnt wanna draw a whole new bg that made sense #fun bug fact i had to use myself as pose ref for this cause i couldnt find anything i wanted so i just lied on my floor n took them

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yanderespamton78 · 4 months

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Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.

Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs

#FUN FACT : charlie isnt my real name :]#i decided to go with the name charlie because i didnt wanna use my real name and i like the name charlie #my parents were gonna call me charlie when i was born but didnt in the end #i dont really know why i dont just tell you lot my real name because its a super common name #another thing that using a diff name online has caused is me seeing “charlie” almost as a different person #theres “[wearegonnapretendiputmyrealnamehere]” and then theres “Charlie” and they are two different people in my mind #idk aksjffhkajsshdka #anyways this is the second poll ive made today what is my deal with polls #i should make a seperate poll tag for all my fucking polls that i make #I MAKE A LOT #ill tag all my polls when i think of a good name lol #anyways woah i got a bit rambly there #did i make a whole ass poll just because i thought you might find it interesting that my real name wasnt charlie?#yes. yes i did.#(DO NOT take this as me not wanting you lot to call me charlie i would prefer you use that name over anything else lol)#polls #tumblr polls #random polls

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togament · 4 months

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GUYS???? GUYS.

even his fingers blush. THEY FUCKING BLUSH.

#wind breaker #windbreaker #nii satoru #satoru nii #haruka sakura #sakura haruka #SAKURA NATION RISE UP 🗣️🗣️#LOOK AT YOUR CUTIE PATOOTIE #AND HIS BLUSHING FINGEROONIES #he’s too fucking cute for his own good i just wanna #*latches my teeth on his arm and thrashes around like an angry dog*#cuteness aggression go wild

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chloesimaginationthings · 10 hours

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FNAF Vanny and Michael if they met as teens

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