#i just used all the crappy anime i liked back in middle school and also yugioh because i watched it not in middle school

[sc3n3kitt3h]

I made an amv!!!! cw 4 anime girls crying blood and killing eachother and getting shot at and stuff

[sp0o0kylights]

Give meee: an Eddie who went into a small little bookshop on an Indie trip and stumbled across an in person fandom meeting. 

It's mostly Star Trek, and also mostly women, but the stories they have are nothing like Eddie's ever read. 

He's barely a teenager, and already protective of himself and his real identity--but everything he's ever wanted is written down, right here, on a little zine with Kirk and Spock doodled on the cover. 

They’re not--it’s not obvious, that they’re what he is, but the story itself is blatant and Eddie ends up being so obviously close to tears, he accidentally outs himself without ever saying a word. 

(He also ends up on the mailing list, then being sent home with several hand printed copies of all kinds of zines.) 

Eddie would remain on this list well past his third senior year in high school. 

Past bats, and Vecna and Steve fucking Harrington. 

Flash forward to his first apartment.The tiny one he shares with Steve when they followed Nancy and Robin to college. 

Steve knows Eddie’s gay. 

Or rather, Steve has been told, but Eddie's still pretty clammed up about it. He's not yet where Robin is, ready to bemoan her loveless existence while draped over their crappy, thrifted couch.

He makes jokes and he flirts and he absolutely says things he shouldn't, but none of it is real. 

It's flash. Showmanship. 

It's the persona that yes, is him, but Eddie consciously built it. There’s nothing soft or gooey there, nothing anyone can use to hurt him. 

So when he comes home and sees that plain, padded envelope with the neatly printed label on the counter, torn wide open and flat without its contents?

 Eddie panics. 

His heart thunders in his chest, vision tunneling as adrenaline kicks through him. 

He wants to bolt-- should bolt--except ever since he almost died his brain no longer obeys him. 

Not when it comes to running, anyway. 

Instead it fights him to a standstill, freezing his feet right to the living room floor. 

The urge is still there. 

To run, and save face the cowards way. 

Vanish before Steve could get at a part of him that had once kept Eddie out of Wayne’s trailer for two days, until the old man had hunted him down and made him come home, huffing about how he’d love Eddie no matter what but he better never disappear like that again. 

(Which Eddie did anyway, and of everything that happened with Vecna, it’s that he regrets the most. The stories he heard of Wayne putting up posters. Squaring off with angry, too-righteous townies, and--)

A sniffle jerks him out of his thoughts. 

Eddie gasps, entirely unsure of when he stopped breathing. Stumbles back and turns, right in time for Steve to come out of his room and amble down their hallway. 

One hand rubs at his eyes, and the other is--the other has…

Eddie identifies the cheaply printed, stapled zine immediately. It's one he's wanted to read for a while now, solely because it features a story about Kirk and Spock being stuck in a cave together on a planet that has  bat-like, vicious animals on it. 

Kirk gets bitten after something goes wrong with the transporter and, look, it’s carthiatic okay!? Sue a guy for wanting to read a romance about a situation he identifies with! 

Steve looks up from the zine and startles. 

For a second his eyes go dark and flat, the same way Eddies and Robins and Nancy's and everyone's does when caught off guard. 

It's gone in a flash though, Steve visibly relaxing when he clocks that it's just Eddie. 

He keeps the zine pressed to his sweater clad chest,  and huffs out a laugh that's half forced and half pure relief.

“Fuck Eds, you scared me! I didn’t know you could be quiet.” 

“Uh huh.” Eddie manages, voice sounding totally and absolutely normal and not at all ten octaves higher than it usually is. 

They stare at each other for a second. Long enough that Steve's eyebrows crinkle in the middle, which is the first hint that he’s beginning to worry, and Eddie really cannot handle Steve being worried right now.  

“What's--” Eddie’s voice cracks and he coughs to recover. “what's that?” 

Steve frowns at him for a moment, until Eddie gestures at the zine in his hands. 

“Oh!”

Steve holds it up, as if to show it off. 

“It's a little book Robin got in the mail. It has a bunch of stories in it. They're normally boring as fuck but this one's from Star Trek.” 

Hearing the words ‘Star Trek’ out of Steve’s mouth shouldn’t be weird, not anymore, when Eddie and Dustin have been on a two man mission to nerdify Harrington as much as possible, but it still kicks like a mule to hear him say such things without any prompting. 

“You know what Star Trek is?”

“Eddie,” Steve tuts, tongue clicking in his mouth. “everyone knows what Star Trek is. It’s nerd shit, but like, old nerd shit. My grandparents used to watch it when I stayed over. This?” 

 He shakes the zine, so hard Eddie wants to snatch it away from him.

 “This isn't nerd shit. This is excellent.”

Steve gives the zine an appreciative glance and hell, maybe Eddie accidentally walked into another dimension. 

He’s been trying to get Steve to read more, rediscover the joys of books the public school system does its best to destroy, but until now Steve hasn’t really taken to it. 

Enjoys when Eddie reads aloud sometimes, and has started to bug Robin to do it for him too, but otherwise?

Eddie’s nerve seen him with anything that had the written word on it that wasn’t a cooking or car related magazine. 

“Honestly,” Steve’s saying, “I think Robs fucked up, this isn't her style at all. She’s gonna be pissed.” 

He eyes the thing appreciatively, like the gift it is. 

“I'm stealing it the second she figures that out.” He adds decisively. 

“You like it?” Eddie asks. 

“Mmm.” 

“Even though it's--it's got…Kirk…” 

Steve's frowning at him again. “What?” 

“It's queer man. It's really queer.” 

Steve peers at him, the crinkle back in his eyebrows. 

“I know. Wait, how do you--” 

And well. It’s now or never. 

“It's mine.” Eddie says in a rush.

“No it's not.” Steve scoffs, and okay, maybe this is a dream. Eddie pinched himself twice already, but perhaps a third time would wake him up?

(It does not.)

“it was even addressed to Robin. Well,” Steve has one hand on a hip now, his default position when arguing, “Robbie, but she goes by that sometimes.” 

Which Robin does, but not in the fucking mail.

Without a word, Eddie turns and goes for the envelope the zine came in. 

Steve follows, invading Eddie’s space to peer over his shoulder (and that’s Eddie’s fault too, that closeness, but he didn’t think it would be turned on him in a moment like this--) 

There's a sticker on the envelope’s label.

 It’s barely hanging on, half of it curled into the air.  Round and yellow, with little black lines, it becomes immediately obvious that one of Robin's smiley face stickers has migrated again. 

They're all over the apartment. Remnants of a phase she went through after she stole a roll of them from her and Steve’s job at a local toy store.

This one had clearly jumped ship from its original spot (likely on the ceiling somewhere), and was now firmly over the E in Eddie's name. 

‘Ddie’ still isn't exactly ‘Obbie’  but--

Steve leans around, snatching the envelope up and bringing it close to his face. 

Far too close, like he can't read it, eyes squinting as he examines the label--and suddenly Eddie knows exactly what happened. 

He laughs, an explosion of noise that's half hysterical and half disbelief. 

Steve looks at him. 

“What?” 

“Oh my God,” Eddie says, one finger jabbing in the air in the vague direction of Steve’s nose. “I told you you needed glasses!” 

“I do not!” Steve protests immediately, but his eyes are darting around the envelope. 

He’s scrambling to figure out what Eddie’s seeing, trying desperately to find a hole that can prove himself right. 

Eddie decides to help him, by plucking the smiley sticker off the envelope. 

“See?” He jeers, and shit okay, maybe his life isn’t over just yet. “It says Eddie, not Robbie!” 

“You guys have got to start using your government names for this shit.” Steve bitches, but it’s weak.

Eddie feels a grin coming on, and lets it overtake his face. 

“So...Kirk and Spock huh?” 

“They’re cute.” Steve defends instantly, before sighing his defeat and tossing the envelope on the table. 

The zine he keeps in his hands. 

Eddie crosses his arms and leans against their rickety table. “Even though they’re both guys?” 

“I thought we were past this!” Steve whines. “I went to a gay bar with Robin last weekend!” 

Which is news to Eddie. 

“You didn’t invite me?” He gasps, feigning hurt by putting a hand over his heart. 

Truthfully he still hasn’t fully recovered--is play acting himself, almost, but is rapidly coming around to the idea of Steve appreciating queer fanfiction. 

“We did!” Steve rolls his eyes so dramatically his whole head moves. “We absolutely did, You said,” 

Here Steve’s voice pitches into a mockery of Eddie’s  that he will not give him points for, even if it is a little hilarious, “Me? At some loser bar? Fuck no, I’ve got a campaign to write. Starbuck, don’t you have homework?” 

“I didn’t know that was a gay bar!” 

“You did! Robin told you!” 

“Okay well, I wasn’t listening!”  

“Clearly. I keep telling you we need a fucking--system or, I don’t know, a code word or something!”  

“Yeah well, when you wanna make us a safe word for conversations, big boy, you let me know.” 

They’re both laughing a little now, this argument veering into familiar territory, with Eddie not really listening and Steve mocking him for it later. (As well as vice versa, with startling regularity.) 

“You really like it though?”  Eddie says after the laughter winds down, gesturing to the zine still clutched in Steve’s hand. 

“Yeah.” Steve confirms, easy as he’s said anything else. Like this isn’t embarrassing, or almost worse than the time Wayne found Eddie’s porno mags and alphabetized them as a joke. 

“It's part of a mail tree. I’m supposed to send it on to the next person when I’m done with it. I make copies though,” Eddie rushes to add, because Steve is now clutching the little booklet to his chest in horror, as if Eddie was about to rip it out of his hands. “If you like I’ll show you my other ones?” 

Steve eases his grip, giving Eddie the little smile he makes that makes his stomach flip. 

“That’d be cool.” 

(Later, Steve pokes at Eddie’s thigh from where they’re both sprawled on Eddie’s bed, Steve having switched the new zine out for one of Eddie’s copies. “Are you going to laugh at me if I ask you to read some of these aloud?” 

“Only if you don’t laugh when I ask you to take me to that gay bar.” 

“Deal, but on the grounds you’re barred from making fun of my flirting attempts. Robin doing it was bad enough.” 

“Well you deserve it if you’re hitting on women at a gay bar, Stevie.” 

“I wasn't hitting on women you asshole.” Steve says and oh.

Oh.

Eddie feels the floor drop out from under him for the second time that day. 

At least this time it’s not fear that thunders through him, but possibility.) 

[piracytheorist]

Get to Know Me

There are various things about me that I mention vaguely in ranting posts, that I know some of my followers don’t know. So I’m writing some stuff here, for people who want to know me better! 😉

I’m PiracyTheorist, for personal reasons I don’t share my real name or selfies publicly here. You can call me Nette.

Current fandoms circulating around here:

- Spy x Family (CURRENT OBSESSION) (I’m up to date with the anime but I don’t read the manga, so please no manga spoilers) (tags are "Spy x Family" and occasionally "sxf")

- Colin O’Donoghue (sporadic but massive posting whenever he graces us with new content)

- Resident Evil Village (there will be horror and graphic content, as well as spoilers for the game and its DLC Shadows of Rose) (tag will mostly be “Resident Evil” and/or “re talk”)

- Digimon Adventure (20 years after watching it as a kid I went back to it and what do you know I still love everything about my very first blorbo, Yamato Ishida, so I’m going off about it here as well) (tag is “Digimon”)

- Occasionally, other random stuff I'm into.

Personal stuff:

I’m in my late 20s, I was born in a small town in Greece. I lived on an island for six years, where I studied music teaching. I now work as a music educator in a public middle and high school.

I support all genders and sexualities and ways people choose to live their own lives.

I’m a white cis woman, an asexual, I’m probably also aromantic but I’m not sure. Due to not being interested in romantic/sexual relationships however, I don’t spend a lot of time wondering about that. I just go with the flow.

I am a certified cat person™. I have one of my own (though she lives in my parents’ house and I only see her when I visit):

I was born with a cardiomyopathy. I’m on mild medication (by which I mean no side effects and no problems if I miss one dose) and I have some standard medical tests once or twice a year. I cannot do heavy exercise or push any limits (which, due to not being able to exercise my whole life, are low considering my young age). I am able to be independent though I'm eligible for some disability benefits. And yes, that means I’m in a high-risk group for any disease, not just covid or the flu.

I find dogs cute as well, but I prefer cats for myself.

I don’t want to have children. I like working with them as a music educator, but I don’t think I’d ever have the patience to actually be a good parent for life. Plus I have a ton of crappy genes, first and foremost of my own disease, so why spread them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I attend therapy sessions. Sometimes I talk here about my sessions, or about things I want to say in them. I tag those posts as “nette therapy” so you can filter that if you want.

I love travelling. Thanks to being a part of several choirs while studying, I’ve visited various places in Europe, and I hope to be able to visit more.

I try to tag everything, including triggers, so if there’s something you need me to tag (within reason, don’t bring fandom drama into my inbox please), don’t hesitate to ask me. I shitpost from time to time, so prepare for some silliness here and there.

I enjoy whump, that is, seeing fictional characters (mostly male - for me mostly ones played by the aforementioned Colin O’Donoghue) in pain or any kind of peril. I tag everything about that as “whump”. I understand triggers and squicks so tagged or not, if that makes you in any way uncomfortable, you can unfollow me. I appreciate people following my blog but I rarely if ever check my followers list.

Sometimes I write fanfics, though my main contributions to fandoms are gifsets and silly memes, occasionally. Killian Jones from the TV show Once Upon a Time is my biggest love, so content about him may appear here sometimes. My fanfics can be found on Tumblr [link] or on AO3 [link]. My gifsets can be found here [link].

I do not tolerate hate that’s aimed at innocent people - and that goes from hate for race, gender, sexuality etc. to hate for what fictional character each other likes. If what the other person is doing is in no negative way affecting someone else, I will not tolerate hate on my blog about them. I used be a person who judged others for what fictional characters/ships they liked, and I know now how miserable I was to act that way, and I’m trying to move on and become better.

That’s it for now :D Welcome to my blog!

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

#11, 16, 18, 25 and 56 for the ask game!!

Favorite age you’ve been so far?

Hmm… I don’t know, I miss being a little kid, and living in my (honestly quite crappy) neighborhood and being outside while the sun set and playing on the old brown couch. I have very fond, very nostalgic memories of when I was little :)

And then when I was just a bit older, but still quite young, things were also good!! My best friends were my cousins and we’d go on journeys into the woods together, and I’d watch my best best friend play Cover Orange on his iPod Touch, and I’d climb the tree in the front yard of my (honestly quite good) neighborhood and I got my dog and watched animated movies on loop.

Middle school was weird lol

And high school has been… all over the place. I’ve had some of the hardest years of my life, and also the best years of my life, and I’ve been friendless and made friends and lost friends, and I’ve moved and moved again and moved again, and I’ve discovered my favorite music artists, and started truly writing for the first time, and got into fandoms and got social media and experienced doubts about my faith and anxiety and so many sad things, so many bad things, so many freaking hard things, but it’s also been so so amazing? A big whirlwind of everything, that’s for sure.

BUT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION ALSGAKSGAKSG

I’d probably go with age six or seven, give or take—mostly because me and my cousins were really close then, and I wanna experience that once more. And also nostalgia :)

The last song you listened to?

I think… it was something acoustic? Me and my sister were going back home after seeing Across The Spiderverse (for the second time!) and my head was hurting a little bit because of all the crazy animation XD I couldn’t listen to my usual music because it made my head feel worse, so I started playing songs from my acoustic playlist.

But goshdarn it I can’t remember what song I listened to last!!

OH IT MAY HAVE BEEN DEAR WORMWOOD BY THE OH HELLOS. IT MAY HAVE BEEN THAT ONE.

Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

No one? 😅

I’ve never punched anyone in my life lol, and I don’t really think I could ever bring myself to do it XD

I do remember when I was pretty little and watching Little House On The Prairie, I got so enraged by one of the characters that I bit out, “I want to punch her.”

My parents didn’t quite know what to do with that information aksvaksvskj

You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

I’m probably going to save it, actually! I’ve always been a saver rather than a spender :)

Wait, scratch that: I will save most of it, and use a bit to get a Starbucks Frappuccino :D

What do you like on your toast?

BUTTER!!! SO MUCH BUTTER!!! I PUT AN INSANE AMOUNT OF BUTTER ON MY TOAST!!!

Sometimes I’ll put jelly on over the butter (it tastes like a biscuit!!) and other times, I’ll put sugar and cinnamon over the butter—but no matter what, I’ve always got butter on my toast XD

[thcophagy]

"i've heard that! it's a pity, the world would be a lot nicer if people did more good deeds for each other." rabbit proclaimed, as though it were some profound philosophical take, all while the same dopey smile sat proudly on his flushed face. it felt good to be seen as one of the good guys, not that anyone ever considered him as bad or anything of the sort, more so that they never considered him at all so it was nice to be seen in a positive light for once. as embarrassing as it was to be heckled by his coworkers, there was also a strange kind of pride that came with being seen with a pretty girl like her. no one expected to see rabbit brandt hanging out with a babe like her, especially not one no one else had seen around town before then and it gave him a small confidence boost, even if it was quickly buried by the weight of his awkwardness. he nodded eagerly in response to her double-checking that his kindness was genuine and watched with satisfaction as the waiter trudged over to take their order. a tiny town in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere didn't exactly pay the highest wages to their employees, and with each item requested rabbit felt his paycheck getting ripped further and further into until there was a solid chunk ripped out. it was okay though, she was obviously in need of someone as generous as him and he could make do with a loss like that. sure, his face had dropped comically with each thing she ordered, turning from a wide smile to something akin to a nervous animal but by the time she had turned away from the waiter and brought her attention back to him, he had straightened up his slumped posture and brought that smile back. "huh?" he asked, somewhat in a daze from what he had just witnessed. quickly shaking himself out of it, rabbit forced out a chuckle on account of his own foolishness and shook his head. "oh- yeah, gosh sorry. dunno how i forgot about that." maybe because he had been so taken by her strangeness alongside her beauty that remembering how to have a normal interaction had become less important than hurriedly proving his usefulness. "good to meet you mac." he shoved his hand out for her to shake, the polite way of introducing oneself just like his brother had taught him. "i'm- well that's kinda a story in itself." god forbid anyone overheard him trying to avoid telling her his nickname, he'd never get to live it down and the name would come to outlive him or anyone unfortunate enough to spend their time in that crappy diner. "name's johnny but no one really calls me that, 'less i'm in a whole lot of trouble." teachers at school, maybe, but only for a short while till they realised that not even his mama obeyed his birth certificate. "most people just call me rabbit, uh, cause i was a little jumpy as a kid. i ain't never really managed to shrug it ever since."

just from his reaction to her presence, mac could tell he wasn't the sort of guy that got much attention. he was cute enough, in a goofy, clumsy sidekick sort of way— the kind of sweet but dopey guy the prom queen would invite to the dance as an act of charity that would boost her social capital, but he acted as though he'd never spoken to anyone with tits before. it was impossible not to tease him, just to get a kick out of her reaction. mac was desperate for some sort of stimulation after an extended period of dormancy, and while she knew it was still too soon to jump back into criminal activity, that didn't mean she couldn't make a little mischief where she could. "promise?" her eyes wide and hopeful, she looked to him like a knight riding in on a white stallion to rescue her from the anguish of hunger, surely stroking his ego in the process. maybe he only wanted to help in the hopes that he could get something out of her, but mac felt as though he was the sort of person who genuinely liked to be of service, offering assistance for nothing more than the satisfaction of knowing he'd made someone's day a little better. "it's true! they don't make 'em like you no more. nice guys are a dyin' breed..." that much was the truth, at least. plenty of guys claimed to be nice, pretending to be guided by some strong moral compass rather than driven by selfish impulses, but she'd learned that very few had truly altruistic intentions. everybody wanted something, but maybe all this guy wanted was to feel important somehow. if that's all he was after, then mac was happy to give him something to feel valued for. she was glad to see he kept the lipstick print in place, like she'd just marked her territory, and her smug smirk was impossible to conceal as they strolled into the diner to great fanfare from his coworkers. this was just what she needed, the perfect about of attention and envy to light that spark of excitement in her. following along behind him, she shot a wink at the scrawny waiter sat off to the side who glanced up to see what all the fuss was about before sliding into the booth across from her new friend, bare thighs slightly sticking to the cracked vinyl of the seat. one thing she appreciated about this country— there was a diner just like this in every single town, and it never failed to hit the spot. greedy eyes combed over the menu, as if it wasn't the same food served at every single diner in existence, glancing up when he made his generous offer. "you mean it?" that's exactly what she was planning on doing anyway, but getting his explicit permission was a gentlemanly touch. she got the sense he was the old-fashioned, chivalrous type, the likes of which she hadn't ever encountered live in the flesh. that same blank faced waiter approached their table within moments of them taking their seat, mac turning her dazzling grin onto him like a beacon of sunlight, and she saw him visibly swallow. "i'll take a stack 'a pancakes, a side of bacon, two biscuits, eggs over easy, white bread toast— y'all got apricot jam? or just strawberry? either's fine, actually. ooh, and some 'a them lil' potatoes that fella's got over there, but can ya' make 'em extra crispy? like, burnt almost. same with the bacon. actually, make it two sides of bacon. and a coffee." the man was still stood there with his pen and notepad, seemingly frozen from her rapid fire order. "thank you kindly!" that seemed to snap him out of his trance, mumbling some sort of understanding as he scurried away to the kitchen, praying to god he could remember every little bit of her order. once again alone together, mac rested her forearms on the table and leaned forward slightly, her full focus on the man sat before her. "name's mac, by the way. think we skipped that part."

[fandom-go-round]

Can I ask for an Obey Me! request? Where the brothers (if you dont want to do all of them then just whoever you feel like writing for) make casual comments about weight related things and they dont realize it upsets the plus size reader until later. like causal comments like "oh that's allot of food" and stuff like that. hurt /comfort please! love you!

Warnings: Fatphobia, Hurtful Comments about Reader’s Weight, Insecurities About Weight, Crying, Emotional Reactions

Mammon:

Mammon always has a way of sticking his foot in his mouth and this is no exception. You’re at a modeling job with him, waiting for him to finish up his shoot so you can go to dinner together. You had grabbed a large smoothie on the way over and are sipping as you watch, half curious about how modeling works and half checking him out. You’re almost done with the smoothie when he makes the comment, coming over to hang on a quick break.

“You’re not gonna need dinner at the rate you’re goin’!” There’s no malice in his voice but you freeze, eyes wide as you look to see if he really said what you thought he did. Mammon doesn’t notice, jogging back over to the set as his manager calls him over. The rest of your smoothie quickly goes into the trash and you spend the rest of the shoot looking at all of the models and cursing yourself; of course the Devildom values skinniness like Earth does.

It takes Mammon days to notice that he’s upset you, mostly because he’s too busy running the high of having money again. He does notice when you dip out of movie night and refuse to let him take you to dinner. Everything comes to a head when he barges into your room demanding an explanation and you’re crying.

He feels like absolute shit when you tell him what’s wrong. He blows off all your reassurances that you’re used to this and that you know he didn’t mean it. Weight isn’t an issue that Mammon has ever had to deal with but he does know about being teased and made fun of. He’s quick to beg your forgiveness and make things right. He becomes your number one supporter, buying you cute clothes and whatever you want to feel better. He’s quick to snarl at anyone who even makes a comment vaguely talking about weight in your direction. Mammon would support you if you wanted to lose weight but might pout a bit; he loves that you’re soft and have places for him to grab onto.  

 Leviathan:

Everyone knows that anime and manga have some of the most unrealistic women out there. That doesn’t stop people from being into it or loving 2D women more than real women. Being into anime before the Devildom had you prepared for this but Levi takes it to another level with Ruri-chan. You shouldn’t have been surprised by the comment but you would have thought Levi might be able to understand, considering his own insecurities.

“I don’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to look like Ruri-chan! She’s the perfect woman!” You’re mind takes it the way you’ve always taken comments like that: ‘perfect woman’ means thin. You make an excuse to leave quickly after that, Levi only half noticing as he goes into another rant.

He doesn’t understand why you keep avoiding talking to him! An episode of your favorite anime is out and you refuse to come watch it with him! It’s blasphemy! It takes him almost a week to work up to nerve to come to your room and demand answers. Levi is a stuttering mess but when he finally gets out what he wants to talk about you look away, seeming almost as embarrassed as he is.

Levi starts to spiral in the middle of your explanation, blaming himself for being a gross otaku and giving you these thoughts. He know anime expectations are unrealistic (it’s one of the reasons why he likes it) but its another to see it used to hurt people. Both of you end of crying and there’s a lot of frank talk about body image. It’s a good way to bond, even if it did happen for a crappy reason. Levi is more sensitive to what he says and tries to find anime with more diverse characters. He also starts trying to find more plus size hentai… not for any reason in particular though!! He just wants to make sure there is some, that’s all!

 Asmodeus:

Hanging out with Asmo can be a blessing and a curse. He’s beautiful and loves fashion and you love to go shopping with him. The downside to that is you have body negative days that tend to match up with Amo’s feeling great days. The shops in the Devildom are a lot like Earth’s; plus size store exist but they’re more expensive and harder to find. Asmo doesn’t fit into any of the stores you do and you never ask to go, not wanting to point out the obvious differences between the two of you.

“You really should take better care of yourself darling, just think of all the things that would look good on you if you did!” You freeze immediately at his words, dropping whatever you had been looking at like it burned you. Asmo had been watching you in the mirror, eyes trained on your hair and skin but all you could think of was your weight. That’s a harsh comment, coming from the Avatar of Lust and you have to resist the urge to burst into tears in the middle of the store.

He knows the moment you start holding back tears that he’s messed up but he has no idea what to do. He tries to explain himself but you wave him off just saying that ‘I’d like to go home now’. You both leave the store after that, heading back in silence. You quickly go to your room and skip dinner, making everyone interrogate him about what happened. Satan is the one who points out that it might be weight related and Asmo has to resist the urge to cry at the table.

He bursts into your room the next afternoon and forces you to get up. You were planning on staying in bed the entire day but he convinces you to have a spa day with him. You’re not mad at Asmo, just yourself. You know how vain he is so it shouldn’t have surprised you. Asmo, however, apologizes for the first ten minutes, practically begging you to forgive him. You have a conversation about dos and don’ts and Asmo takes it to heart, listening to you and trying to understand your struggles. After your spa day he surprises you by bringing out a mountain of outfits; he had run to some of the shops that fit you and got things! If there’s anything you hate it’s quick to disappear but he wants to pamper you and this is the best way he knows how.

 Beelzebub:

Beel loves hanging out with you because you love food like he does. Not to the same physical amount of course, but you’re always willing to try new things and go new places with him. Everyone knows that if there’s a new restaurant you and Beel (and sometimes Belphie) are going to be some of the first people in line. Just because you love to eat doesn’t mean that you’re immune to the things people say about the two of you. You just wouldn’t have thought that Beel would say anything.

"That’s a lot of food.” You freeze, looking up from your plate to look across the table. Beel’s eyes are locked on your plate and not his own, even though his plate is pilled much higher than yours. “Are you going to eat it all?” You don’t hear anything after his second question, appetite suddenly gone. He doesn’t wait for your response, eating his own food with vigor and eating yours once you push it over to him.

You stop going out to eat with him after that, hardly eating at school or at the House of Lamentation. Sure, you eat enough so that no one says anything but Beel knows better. You don’t snack like you used to or eat cakes with him, you just eat and then that’s it. He talks to Belphie about it and his bother helps figure it out; when did they stop eating? Why? He puts it together after that, feeling horrible once he remembers you talking about how people used to make fun of you in the human world.

Beel shows up at your door the next day, a box from Madame Scream’s in hand and a determined look on his face. He asks to talk to you and you have a conversation about what he said, ignoring the box even as his stomach growls. He apologizes for upsetting you and says that he doesn’t care what size you are, he likes you for you. If people are going to make fun of you or try to bully you, he’ll protect you because you mean a lot to him. You end up splitting the box of treats with Beel, happier than you have been all week. He doesn’t tell you but he prefers that you’re bigger; he’s a big guy after all and it’s a relief not to worry about hurting you as much.

[chixxly]

HUGE THREAD AND RANT!

Please get tf out of the BakuDeku tag- I calmly scroll through amazing bakudeku bloggers then see this crappy shit. And imma rant too since thats what I do. 

 ALSO //SPOILERS//

First of all saying that they don’t have a developed relationship is by far the most idiotic thing I have ever fucking seen. And also saying they don’t have a good relationship.. Honestly I will sit back and laugh at your embarrassing ass because the WHOLE dynamic of them is about their relationship getting better.

For example this is old middle school Katsuki who is now dead. Perished, ashes, what shoes he got on in his casket? Representing the old Bakugou who used to bully Midoriya is now dead and will never come back. (This is Horis draft sketches btw) 

Then look at how happy Midoriya is to be able to be friends with Kacchan.. <3 

And he fuckin bi panicked when ever Katsuki said “You’ve made what you borrowed your own, huh?” *while the screen turned bright*. Like wtf this is so fruity I can’t with them istg.

Conclusion, Midoriya would be so fucking happy if they got into a relationship- I mean think about it...

Next lets think about Katsuki... Oh boy the gayass bitch. 

He’s been wanting to hold his hand for YEARS probably. They’re even lyrics in a Op/ED song that has a lyric saying “And in a dream I will take your hand and, I will hold it forever.” Could that be Bakugous POV?

Bakugou even has done crazy shit for Midoriya too...

“I never felt that sensation. Like being on death’s door in total crisis.” BROOO HE FELT LIKE HE WAS DIEING WHEN MIDORIYA WAS???!??! Thats just so fucking sad and I’m tearing up...

Look at that my little bkdks... These are panels to him reacting to Deku’s hero name.

“Keep your eyes on me, Deku you dweeb *with a seductive face*” Bakugou buddy... And the fact that this was right in front of a lady in a skin tight costume. This is just very homo of him.

Him taking a hit through the stomach too.. And then whenever he wakes up he goes straight to asking if Deku is okay and other people ofc.

If you hate him go eat dog shit with no water. You have to realize that he isn’t a horrible person and Hori is trying his best to get that through your thick ass skull. You are just stubborn at this point if you hate him.

Also look at him looking and smiling at Midoriya and All Might... This just makes me cry... 

Oh and yeah they totally aren’t romantic.

*looks directly at lips*

*gets flustered from his face lmao*

Okay tell me that they hate each other again? I don’t know why y’all want them to hate each other, like do you want it to be toxic lmfao.

- Again most popular ship-

- Lyrics from MHA op/ed the lyrics may not be in order but here are the highlights! Also screenshots aren’t by me they are by my bkdk besties.

You’re gonna tell me they are platonic and catching Cherry Blossoms?-

- OFA canon romantic.

This looks like a cover of a romance anime lol.

So in conclusion they do have a pretty romantic, developed, angst/slowburn, chemistry, platonic even, relationship. And you can’t deny that at this point. And the fact that I was gonna add more but couldn’t because maximum photos says A LOT lmao. 

[whumpmatsus]

Yesterday I took the second coronal vaccine, totally fine until I woke up at 3:30 am feeling like shit, no one was home and I didn't know how to take care of myself so I just took a fever' medicine and tried to go back to sleep, was cring while calling mommy.

my fever dropped down yet I still feel the pain killing me and I have to go to school.

Now I want one of the brothers to feel my pain 🙂

awwww I'm sorry you went through that, hun! my second vaccine I was similar, feeling fine until I woke up in the middle of the night all nauseous and congested, thankfully I'd taken off of work for a couple days in advance in case I got side effects

I was almost normal by the end of the day though, it sucks you were still feeling bad and had stuff to do! this got sent like two weeks ago so I certainly hope you're feeling better now and you weren't miserable too long <3

... I decided on Osomatsu bc I've been feeling them Oso girl vibes lately, plus he's sooooo much a mama's boy it seemed to fit haha

I also decided to use side effects for the flu shot instead of the COVID vaccine, just because I'm uncomfy using current events in my fictional writings, but the gist is still the same

I may have taken a few liberties with the side effect symptoms, but hey, it's different for everyone, right? it's also funny that all the brothers got hit by one symptom worst, but poor Oso got hit by all of them XD

there's some Allmatsu slipped in here, but also Matsuyo babying her oldest boy a bit!

hopefully you enjoy your Oso suffering, I loved writing it!!! =)

-

Being alone in the house for once, it’s a miracle that Osomatsu was able to sleep at all.

When he wakes up, the clock blinking at him that it’s sometime around 3 in the morning, he almost forgets that he’s by himself, until he feels that the rest of the futon is empty. Everything trickles back pretty quickly ― why none of his brothers are around tonight.

Choromatsu is at an idol convention that’s pretty far out of town. Karamatsu is staying at a local hotel for a few days’ worth of music performances. Jyushimatsu is away for a week visiting Homura at her parents’ house in the country. Totty’s having a grown-up sleepover at a friend’s place. And Ichimatsu volunteered for an overnight shift at the animal shelter because one of the cats he’s been looking after wound up there.

For the record, there’s very little Osomatsu hates more than being all by himself in the futon. Even though it gives him a chance to spread out and sleep however he likes, it makes him feel lonely. He’d rather be huddled up with everyone than have all this empty space.

To make things worse, when he wakes up alone, he wakes up feeling like shit.He remembers not really drinking that much last night, so it can’t be a hangover… but… he did just get his yearly flu vaccine yesterday afternoon. The pharmacy tech who gave him the shot warned him that he might feel a little bad the next day or so, like he has a weak version of the flu. Annnnd… he’s pretty sure there was a sheet that was given to him that explained benefits, possible side effects, and a list of things that he should go to the doctor if he experienced.

Although he can’t remember where he put that paper, he’s sure that’s why he’s feeling so crappy right now.

The area of his arm where he got injected is stiff, and trying to move it makes him want to cry. There are aches creeping out into the rest of his body, including his head pounding. His stomach is swirling with nausea as soon as he sits up, and for a brief moment he’s convinced he’s going to be sick.

After he puts a hand against his forehead to try and will it to quit hurting, his palm comes back damp with sweat. Shit… do I have a fever? That’s no good either; fevers always make him feel vaguely panicky and uncomfortable in the most horribly nonspecific way.

“Mmm… Mom…?” he calls, but his voice comes out sounding hoarse and raspy. It hurts to talk, so he doesn’t think he can raise his voice more than this. “… Mom?”

Usually if one of the sextuplets calls for their mom, Matsuyo hears them and is in their bedroom only a moment later. At the very least, she calls back that she’s coming. Instead, the house is completely silent. It’s borderline eerie, especially to Osomatsu’s foggy mind.

Then it hits him; their parents are away, too. They went on vacation for a few days, just a short trip to rekindle their romance. So… he really is all by himself right now.

To try and keep himself calm, he does his best to breathe, except as soon as he starts to focus on it, he realizes his nose is plugged. Ughhh. He sniffles for a minute, seeing if he can get a good breath in. It’s kind of hopeless.

Okay, okay… breathe through your mouth then, dumbass. Don’t get all worked up. Just… fuck. Think about what you’d do if one of your brothers woke you up feeling like shit. How would you take care of them?

… It’s hard. Even though he could take care of someone else, it’s infinitely more difficult when he’s the one trying to take care of himself. His brain is all clouded and despite the fact that he knows it’s not serious, he’s probably not actually sick, he feels so terrible it’s making every idea a struggle.

He can’t call any of his brothers. They’re all out enjoying their own things… what kind of awful person would spoil his little brothers’ good times like that?

With that being said, he’s not really sure how to take care of himself. The only other options available are to go back to sleep, which he’s certain he can’t do at the moment, or… call his mom.

Although he hates to interrupt his parents’ vacation like this, he’s got his phone and is dialing Matsuyo’s number before he knows it. He won’t keep her awake for too long, just long enough to get some advice on what to do. She’s the only one he’s really okay with seeing or hearing him be really vulnerable, because even though he’s the oldest of her children… she’s still his mother.

Still, he can’t help but feel just a little guilty when her tired voice comes crackling through the phone. “Osomatsu?”

His arm is sore, so he puts the phone on speaker and sets it down on his lap. “Hi, Mom. Sorry I woke you up.”

“No, no, don’t worry. It’s okay.” She must hear the fatigue and congestion in his voice, because it sounds like she immediately perks up. “Is everything alright?”

The way her voice is already laced with concern makes his throat tighten. He woke her up in the middle of the night, when she was trying to sleep, on vacation, and she doesn’t even sound mad. He blinks away hot tears that have welled up fast, and they have nowhere to go except to drip down his cheeks. “I don’t feel good,” he croaks, reaching up to rub at his eyes.

Damn. What kind of stupid baby am I, crying over this…?

If it’s at all possible, Matsuyo’s voice softens even more. “Ah, honey. Are you sick? Do you need Dad and I to come home?”

“N-no!” His response is instant and visceral, though it probably sounds pathetic because he’s starting to cry. “I… I don’t think it’s… that bad. I just… I woke up and I… I’m all… my arm hurts, and I’ve got a really bad headache, I’m sweating and shivering at the s-same time, my stomach hurts…”

“Oh, dear.” She clicks her tongue. “… Hm. You and your brothers got your flu shots yesterday, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s probably why you’re not feeling well. Are you having any trouble breathing?”

“I-I mean… only ‘cause my nose is stuffy. I can still breathe through my mouth and it’s not… like… I can breathe.”

“Are you dizzy or weak?”

He has to pause for a second to figure how to answer that. “N-no… not really. Just kind of… achy.”

“Are you running a temperature?”

“I… I dunno. I think, maybe.”

“Okay, well, if you think you are, you should probably go check it to make sure it’s not too high. Do you want me to stay on with you while you do that?”

“Y-yeah… I guess. I just…” It takes all his strength to get to his feet, and his headache is still pounding away once he does. At least his sinuses clear up a bit when he’s standing. “I know I take care of my brothers all the time… but… I-I don’t… I don’t really know how to take care of myself when I don’t feel good…”

Matsuyo sighs softly. “Oh, Osomatsu, sweetie. That’s normal. It’s harder to take care of yourself than it is to take care of someone else; sometimes you don’t think right when you aren’t feeling well. Go take your temperature, and we’ll go from there, alright?”

“Okay…”

Getting to the bathroom is kind of a battle. Every part of his body just feels so heavy, and he keeps wanting to fall asleep right against the wall. By the time he gets into the bathroom and turns the light on, he’s drained from the walk.

Trying to open the medicine cabinet, he gets a glimpse of himself in the mirror and has to cringe. He just looks shitty ― pale and sweaty, his face flushed like it’s been barely kissed by the fever, eyelids drooping with exhaustion. He looks like some kind of hilarious caricature of a sick person on a Saturday morning cartoon.

Everything rattles in the cabinet for a moment before he finds the thermometer, and gives it a brief rinse before sticking it in his mouth.

He continues to make small noises of discomfort the whole time, and Matsuyo continues to offer gentle coos of encouragement. Finally the damn thing beeps, prompting him to pull it out.

“Osomatsu? What does it say, honey?”

“Mmh, it’s, uh…” The bleariness from being so tired forces him to squint at the screen. “37.8.”

When his mother speaks, she sounds relieved, which makes him feel a little better. “Oh, that’s not too bad. Anything under 38 is low-grade, which combined with everything else means you’re probably just feeling some side effects from the shot. The fever is what’s making you feel bad more than anything, I’d guess.”

He tears off a square of toilet paper to wipe away the leftover tears, still incredulous over the fact that something so simple and dumb made him cry. “So… what do I do? I mean… can I take anything?”

“Of course. If you can manage it, have a few crackers and take two paracetamol, alright? That should keep the fever from making you too uncomfortable.”

“… Ugh.” The thought of food right now isn’t really what he wants to hear. “Do I… have to eat anything?”

“Aaah, I know your tummy is a little upset, but… taking painkillers on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea, sweetheart. It might not get absorbed correctly, and it might make you more nauseous.”

Well… he supposes when she puts it that way, he should just suck it up and have a couple crackers, then. “Okay. Should I do anything else, or…?”

She hums in thought. “I can’t think of much else that would help. Taking the medicine and trying to go back to sleep is your best bet. You can put the hot water bottle on your tummy, if you want. Just make sure it’s not too hot. And you can put a cold cloth on your forehead if you feel warm. Rest will help you more than anything, I think.”

“Okay… I guess you’re right. I just don’t feel good, Mom.” He knows he’s said that several times already, and it sounds so babyish,but he can’t really think of how else to express it.

“Oh, honey, I know. Do you want me to stay up with you for a little bit? I don’t know if a lullaby will work over the phone, but, I can give it a try.”

He shakes his head even though he knows she can’t see it. “No… I’ll be okay. I’m just gonna… eat some crackers and take those pills and lie down. You should go back to sleep, too.”

She chuckles. “Don’t you dare worry about me. I’ll be back out as soon as my head hits the pillow. Are you sure?”

“Yeah… I’m gonna go try to just… take care of myself.”

“Okay, sweetheart. But you call me again if you need anything, alright?”

“Mhm, I will. Thanks for helping me.”

“Of course, my poor boy. Try to get some sleep. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom. Night.”

Once he hangs up, the house feels too quiet again. It reminds him of those horror movies where someone wakes up in the middle of the night and starts walking around and the monster sneaks up on them without any noise and before they know it, the monster’s got them.

So begins the long trek downstairs after he puts the thermometer away and gets the paracetamol from the cabinet. Now he can’t ever tease Totty again for being afraid of the dark and monsters and all that shit, because he has to peer around the stairway to make sure something isn’t waiting for him at the bottom of the steps.

Thankfully, when he opens the fridge, he discovers a couple bottles of some off-brand sports drink; his mind dredges up a memory of Jyushimatsu telling him a while ago that those are good for sick people. That stuff keeps you hydrated and helps settle your stomach.

So he manages to get two pills swallowed, then forces a handful of senbei crackers into his mouth. Even though they don’t taste good, he’s crossing his fingers that it’ll keep him from feeling too sick from the medicine.

Even the kitchen is too lonely. He takes the rest of the bottle with him, just in case he wakes up again and needs a sip of something to be able to go back to sleep.

Being faced with the empty futon once more makes him almost burst into tears. Seeing nobody in it makes his stupid mind see everyone in it, like they all should be, squished up against each other. He can imagine Ichimatsu at the very end, pretending he’s not cuddling up to Karamatsu. And Choromatsu near the other end, being a good sport about Jyushimatsu curling up against him. And of course Totty right there next to Osomatsu, snuggling against his oldest brother for warmth on a chilly fall night.

He lowers himself down into the futon, but doesn’t actually go horizontal. The phone trembles in his hand, and he can’t stop himself.

-

“Mmmh, Osomatsu-nii-san?”

“Hey, Totty. U-uh… sorry… I probably woke you up, huh?”

“It’s okay. Actually, I’m… I’m kind of glad somebody called. I don’t wanna embarrass myself by waking up my friends, but… i-it’s kind of dark and I have to pee… I know you can’t actually come over, but just talking to you would be enough. Could you maybe… stay on while I go?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I’ve got nothing better to do than listen to you take a piss in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, haha, so funny. I’ll be fast. Hey… is everything okay? You sound all stuffy.”

“Yeah, I’m good. Just… flu shot side effects making me feel crummy. Everyone else got theirs yesterday too, so I just… thought I’d check on you guys since I woke up feeling like shit.”

“Huh. Well, I feel okay. My arm’s a little sore, but beyond that I’m good.”

“Good.”

“Aaaah, okay, I’m done now. Can you stay on while I walk back to the other room?”

“Yeah, no worries. I hope you can get back to sleep pretty fast.”

“Ugh, me too. It was hard to go back to sleep with my arm hurting and being too scared to go pee. Thanks for checking on me.”

“Hey, what else are big brothers for?”

“Mmh, thanks anyway, though. Goodnight, Osomatsu-nii-san.”

“Night, Totty. Sweet dreams.”

-

“Aaaah, Osomatsu… yaaaawn… is everything alright, dear brother?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine, Kara. I just… miss you guys, since it’s just me in the house. I woke up and… forgot I was all by myself, pfft.”

“Hmph. I suppose I understand that. In my case, I do not believe I’m sleeping as well as I might with the rest of you. So at least it isn’t just you feeling that way.”

“Yeah… ha, that makes me feel a little better. Uh, how are your gigs going so far?”

“Oh? Are you interested? Well, surprise of surprises, the crowd gave me a standing ovation tonight!”

“Yeah, really? Damn, look at you. Better not have flirted with any pretty girls without me.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t dream of it, brother. Are you doing alright otherwise? You sound a bit off.”

“Mh, no big deal. Just the flu shot making me feel like shit. You’re not feeling too bad?”

“I believe I had a low fever earlier, but by the time I came back to my room, it had broken. You have my thanks for checking on me, however. And I sincerely hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks, Kara. Hey, I’ll let you get back to sleep now; you need rest for your next gig tomorrow.”

“Haha! Why, I wouldn’t say you’re wrong. Goodnight, brother.”

“Night, Kara. Sleep tight.”

-

“Hey, shitty eldest. Are you really still awake?”

“Ouch, what a greeting. Right through my heart, Ichimacchan. Nah, I was sleeping, but I woke up. I was trying to get back to sleep… it’s just kind of… y’know, lonely over here.”

“Oh. Yeah, you’re the only one in the house, huh?”

“Yeahhh, it sucks. I just woke up and I was like, ‘shit, where are all my baby brothers?’ Pff.”

“Yeah, I get it. I’d come home if I could, but I’ve gotta take care of Fern right now.”

“No, no, it’s all good. How’s she doing?”

“Better than the last time I saw her. At least she’s eating now. She keeps hissing at anyone who gets close except for me.”

“Pffff… guess she’s copying you.”

“Tch, go die, Osomatsu. Actually, it sounds like you’re pretty close to it right now. You good?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. The fucking flu shot, you know?”

“Ouch, don’t even mention that. My head was about to split in half earlier.”

“Shit. You doing better now?”

“Yeah, it finally went away. Hopefully you feel better soon, too. Listen, I gotta go now ― Fern’s scratching at me for a little more food.”

“Oh, right, no problem. Go take care of her. And, uh, take some sleep if you can get it so you don’t pass out tomorrow.”

“I’ll do my best. If not, I’m napping on top of you tomorrow. Night, Osomatsu.”

“Count on it! See you tomorrow, Ichimacchan.”

-

“Heyyyyy, Osomatsu-nii-san!! You woke me up and the phone ringing almost woke up Homura-chan. Is everything okay???”

“Oh… oh, yeah, sorry, Jyushi. Everything’s fine. I didn’t mean to wake you up and almost wake her. I just wanted to call and… see how you were doing.”

“… Hah??”

“I’m all alone in the house… I guess I miss all my little brothers. Choro has some nerd shit going on, Kara’s doing gigs, Totty’s at a friend’s place, and Ichi’s at the animal shelter with one of his cats… and you’re all the way out in the country. Plus Mom and Dad went on vacation. So…”

“Oh. So you’re just lonely ‘cause you’re alone. And you woke up and felt bad so you called me?”

“Yeah… I’m calling the others too. Just… just, you know, checking up on everybody. Sorry, I didn’t think about that you’re probably sleeping in the same bed as Homura-chan…”

“It’s okay! Maybe if she wakes up we’ll go for round two, haha.”

“Jyushi! You sly asshole, saying something like that to me, pffff. You’re bad. You’re… having fun, though, right?”

“Yeah, loads of fun. It’s great out here in the country. Homura-chan’s family even has a dog! Are you okay? You sound funny.”

“Uh? Oh, yeah. I’m just feeling a little crappy from the flu shot.”

“Ohhhh. That’s right, we all got that before I left yesterday. I’m kinda sore too, but it’s getting better. I hope it doesn’t last too much longer for you. Maybe since it woke you up now, it’ll be gone when you wake up for real!”

“Maybe. I hope so. Mannn… okay, Jyushi, I’m gonna let you get back to cuddling with Homura-chan, okay? Enjoy the rest of your visit.”

“Hahahhh, thanks, Osomatsu-nii-san. And you can call me again too, if you want! Maybe during the day next time. Nighty night.”

“Night, Jyushi. Sweet dreams.”

-

“Mmmf… Osomatsu? If you’re calling me, someone better be dead or dying.”

“Ahah, or what, Fappymatsu?”

“Or I will reach through this phone and strangle you like we’re in a B-list horror movie.”

“Ouchhhh, you’re worse than Ichimacchan; at least he didn’t threaten me. Are you really that cranky that I woke you up?”

“Yes, because I was having trouble getting to sleep and I just started drifting off when my phone rang. If you don’t give me a good reason in the next thirty seconds, Karamatsu becomes my oldest brother.”

“Geez, okay, okay. Sorry, you grump. I just wanted to check on you guys. I woke up feeling like shit thanks to the flu shot from yesterday, and I… wanted to make sure it wasn’t making you guys feel crappy too.”

“I’m fine, Osomatsu. I mean, I felt a little queasy earlier in the night, but it passed. You, on the other hand, sound like death warmed over. You should hang up and get some sleep. Can we not leave you alone for five minutes?”

“Heh. Guess not. Sorry I woke you up. You should get back to sleep too.”

“… Osomatsu. Wait. Did… did you call everyone else, too? You seriously just wanted to make sure we were okay?”

“Uh-huh. Well… well, I guess I’m a little lonely, too. I mean, I woke up and the futon was empty and I just… felt like I should check on all of you. I’m the big brother. So… I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Well… thanks, I guess. Sorry I snapped at you, but, I’m tired. Don’t worry too much, okay? I’m a little anxious, being so far from home overnight… I miss all of you too. But it’ll be fine. Try some breathing exercises… if you can do that, sometimes it helps you relax enough to fall asleep.”

“I’ll try. Thanks, Choro-chan. I’m glad you’re doing okay. You try those exercises too, yeah? I want you to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for checking on us, Osomatsu. You’re not a bad big brother sometimes. Get some rest, okay? I’ll call you tomorrow. Goodnight.”

“Night, Choro-chan. Sleep well.”

-

When Osomatsu puts his phone down, far enough away that he probably won’t roll onto it in his sleep, he feels a lot better.

Not that he doesn’t still feel crappy, but his headache is starting to fade, and the anxiety he felt about being away from his brothers has calmed down substantially. It means that hopefully he’ll be able to get back to sleep.

He lies down on one side, rubbing at his eyes to get rid of the tears that started up again. The blanket is pulled up, so tightly around him that it almost mimics being hugged. With any luck, he’ll be out in a few minutes so he doesn’t have the chance to panic at the sounds of the house settling or the noises outside or anything like that.

As he closes his eyes and does his best to breathe rhythmically through his mouth, he curls his knees up to his chest.

He still feels lonely.

Everything will be better tomorrow.

[thesaurus-lover]

why we love aoba johsai: a very long thought dump

because the first thing i always do after finishing a good show like this is analyzing the hell outta it

cw: major haikyuu!! spoilers until season 3

also small disclaimer that all of this is from a thematic/narrative perspective in writing, so it definitely wouldn’t strictly apply if we were talking about something irl

tl;dr is that seijoh will always be an arm's length away from being the best, almost to the point we could call them hidden underdogs

started to binge a series of haikyuu video essays, and reading the comments on both the oikawa and shiratorizawa vids back-to-back has me realizing how much the fandom can resonate with seijoh.

even while watching the show i realized early on how much i loved their matches, with the s1 and 2 finales being some of the games i really jumped in my seat to cheer. but i actually didn't know why?? i kinda brushed it off as "oh i like their dynamic with karasuno" but looking back that's a super lame and vague reasoning lol

and then one of the videos helped make it click for me. so let's start with Crappy Personality–kun himself, oikawa tooru.

i mean sure he has a pretty face and annoyingly precisely styled hair??? but that's not why we like him so much. he's a prime example of what it means to fall behind those who are naturally gifted in the one thing you love more than anything just because you aren't one of those gifted people.

and the truth is that a heartbreaking number of people can relate to exactly that.

while all that's been made very clear in the narrative, i think that to an extent, that sentiment can be applied to the rest of the team; yes, they're very strong and are one of the best in the prefecture (not to mention the first major antagonist team) but when you factor, let's say, shiratorizawa into the picture, the common folk just know who's stronger—who's the very best.

this team represents what it’s like to be stuck in that limbo between still being better than the rising underdogs, but weaker then the ultimate powerhouse.

in the s2 finale match especially we saw how much of their raw desperation cracked through. i’m sure nobody can get rid of the image of oikawa scrambling back onto the court after literally crashing into a table. it was a desperation that rivaled even karasuno’s, who just needed to win this match to contrinue their rise to the top.

but seijoh is definitely still viewed as a threat, oh yeah. when shoyo and tobio confront ushijima at the beginning of s2 and seijoh is called weak, the two of them FUME, because they have fought seijoh, and they’re a damn difficult team to beat. hence the idea “oh so if they’re weak then what the hell are we, a team who lost to them? just concrete, yeah?” it's why we were also given the mindset from the very beginning that they're also near-unbeatable.

the thing is, while karasuno has fallen to rock bottom before, they're now climbing back up, and at a scary fast pace.

karasuno beat the school who plays only their strongest cards. they represented their prefecture against all of japan.

yet despite being a prestigious school who gathers talents from middle schools like kageyama's—despite clearly even having more experience, seijoh didn't beat shiratorizawa. seijoh didn’t go to nationals.

why? because being good—or great, or even downright amazing—is not the same as being the best.

and knowing how hungrily competitive practically everyone in this anime is to be the best, i'm sure it kills them inside. especially to their captain, who's smart enough to be painfully aware of their entire situation.

while we obviously still love shiratorizawa's players like ushijima and tendou, most of us can't see ourselves in the team's general position—because the majority of us aren't the best.

and one last thing that i think can connect to this is the whole “you should’ve come to shiratorizawa” discourse. it took me a painfully long time to put my finger on why it made tooru’s blood boil so much, but i settled on believing that it was because he knew exactly of their nature of only gathering the strongest; and ushijima did see him as one of these strongest. if he was their setter, they’d only become even more unstoppable, right?

but oikawa is petty, and he hates those who need to struggle any little less than him just because of an innate, unfair head-start (but that's not to say that the gifted characters don’t also work very hard.) that’s why his useless pride won't let him be in a team full of those kinds of people. he’s also probably insecure of eventually being overtaken by people like goshiki, who's only a first year but is practically already next in line for the title of the prefecture’s Big Bad Ace™.

so instead, he fights with aoba johsai, with people like him. it’s a crazy battle that never totally meets the spotlight—to keep trying to climb to the top even when you know someone can overtake you so easily, reducing your efforts to almost nothing.

that’s all for now lmfao i really poured everything into this :’) i'd totally need other people's thoughts & stances to concretize my opinion on tho, so this really just is a thought dump for now >:)

[cherriesradio]

Class 1-A relationship headcanons

Part 1 -> https://cherry-cake-pies.tumblr.com/post/640877154337538048/mha-relationship-headcanons-class-1-a

Fluff

Mashirao Ojiro

Remember when you where a little kid and would collect flowers at recess and give them to your teacher? Yeah that’s him

Makes little flower crowns

Idk this boy just really likes flowers okay

Their a secret for a while and because he’s not friends with everyone no one really “finds out” and the just tell the class

Aizawa kinda knew they were together the whole time it was obvious it’s just no one paid attention

Y/n is willing to get in fight for people they care for and Ojiro will just pull them away with his tail from beating some kid who made fun of Deku

They call him “Lovely little Monkey” cause he’s only 5’4 or around there and they find it cute

When it gets more serious he makes a vow to them that he will never hit them or hurt them in anyway and it’s the sweetest thing ever

When y/n is having a bad day he’ll just come at them with a million bad puns and pick up lines to make them laugh

Y/n likes wearing his Martial Arts clothes and he’s like “would you actually wanna learn?” And after a second of thinking they nod their head at rapid speed

Denki and y/n are the only people who can touch his tail (him and Denki are great friends try to change my mind)

When he’s a pro hero y/n and him are partners and they don’t tell the public their together

Every fan ships them

So one day they think no one is watching them after a fight and they kiss and congratulate each other on how good they did

Turns out there were a ton of cameras around them and it was on the news

Y/n almost killed the network ngl

Denki Kaminari

He may seem like a perv but he’s only a perv at home don’t worry ❤️

Anyways (cause writing THAT made me uncomfortable)

Y/n makes him study and sometimes he doesn’t and they’ll check to see if he’s studying and at some point their just like

“I’m gonna study with you to make sure you study”

He did study when they were with him :)

Drop kicks Mineta when he hits on y/n even tho he knows y/n and him are dating

When y/n doesn’t know he’s there he’ll go up to them and give them a small zap and they’ll giggle

(Okay druggie Denki coming through) y/n helps him get out of addiction 😌

Puts him in rehab if it’s bad bad

Once Bakugo made fun of their relationship and behind Denki’s back y/n beat him to the ground and the next day he had a black eye and some bruises and Denki was like “bro what happened” “nothin”

They mess with Ojiro’s tail together

Y/n will rant and he just sits staring at them and nodding occasionally

👏watching 👏crappy 👏 tv shows / movies 👏 together 👏👏👏👏👏

When he’s in dumbass mode y/n will throw him over their shoulder and bring him to the dorms and the whole class finds it so funny

On Twitter and other social media they will post a pic of the other and the text is just a keyboard smash

Before they got together he would do that but in the Bakusquad group chat and Bakugo just left the chat at some point cause he was tired of random clearly not asked for pics of y/n and just “akaoqiwbbejwhbwoqj I thinking I’m simping”

Relationship is not a secret whatsoever

He just went up to them in the middle of lunch, got down on one knee, took one of their hands and asked them to go out with him and after bursting into laughter y/n said yes

The embodiment of “COUPLES ARE A COMPETETION AND I AM WINNING HAVE YOU SEEN MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER!?!??”

He’s protective but also if no ones eyeing y/n or hitting on them he’ll low key be offended for y/n like “how dare they not find you to be the hottest/ cutest/ most wonderful being in the universe?”

Kirishima

If y/n is tired after training then he’ll pick them up bridle style and the Bakusquad calls him a simp

It’s literally the most healthy relationship you could ever imagine

Neither will hesitate to call the other out if their being unfair/ not putting effort into the relationship or “unmanly” as Kirishima says

Makes sure each of them get a good amount of self care as well as taking care of the other

Rarely fight, get in arguments but settle it out peacefully and with respect for one another

He would break up with y/n if they make him feel less or like he has to “be good enough for them” because he heavily values self worth because of this insecurity’s in middle school

Y/n makes him feel like he can do anything tho so don’t worry

Sometimes y/n just sits down and stares at Kirishima whiles he’s ranting about something he’s passionate about and smiling

Then he’s like “why are you staring?”

Y/n: *absolutely star struck* “u pretty”

Has hot coco in the summer

Making pillow/ blanket forts and when their done using them jumping on top and destroying them

Y/n will run at him from behind and he hears their footsteps and then shifts to pick them up for a piggy back ride

Swinging their arms around when they hold hands 😫

Y/n snorts when they laugh and their insecure about it and then Kirishima is like “okay then I’ll not try to make them laugh to much so they don’t snort and feeling bad!” And then y/n thinks he’s less interested in them

And then he makes up for it in making them laugh a ton (like to where they start coughing) and cudddle up to them and tell them how he loves their snort

Get each other gifts and ONLY gives them in front of the rest of the class to flaught how much they adore each other

Fist bumps are a form of intimate affection and you can’t change his mind

So are high fives

Even if they break up they will still be really good friends

Kirishima metions how he really likes how Bakugo makes a random food and y/n will force him to teach them how to make it

Forehead kisses Forehead kisses Forehead kisses Forehead kis-

Has a new pet name for each other every day

Fat gum has to approve (he does, he adores y/n)

Kirishima and y/n definitely call him dad

Tamaki meets them and after he tells Kirishima “their really nice you have good taste” and then feels bad because he made it sound like food

All four are just best friends and after the raid y/n totally takes them all out for boba or something like that because they are proud

Kouji Kouda (Koda)

Very, very slow relationship

It was like 6 months in before they kissed

Every time he leaves a room he’ll be like “bye I love you!”

Doesn’t get jealous at all

Like a guy could literally slap their butt and he’ll just sit their like “well that’s not very friendly” and then y/n tells him how it made them uncomfortable and he’s like “OH NO I SHOULD OF HELPED”

Dates at the park

Y/n will see like a squirrel or bird or something and be like “Koda Koda go say hi tell it hi for me please”

The type to look up how to be romantic and he just sits at his computer like “why would I kiss them in the rain????? We would be wet and uncomfortable?????”

First date is at a petting zoo

They (Koda would not propose) proposed at that same petting zoo but made arrangements to where no one else would be there so he wouldn’t be embarrassed

Legit learning Morse code or silent language so he doesn’t have to talk

Little notes left on their desk before their together and y/n’s friends are all like “you have a secret admirer~~~” and he glances over to blushing y/n and stiffens, blushing

Y/n always getting the spiders

At first wanted to do the “cover with a glass slip a piece of paper let it free” method but then he got paranoid they got back in the dorm

At the start of the relationship whenever y/n even breaths he’s staring at the ground blushing

Once they were cuddling and he had his head in their chest (uncomfortable for y/n but they deal) and they started singing and he melt on the spot

When they feel down in the morning and Koda can’t walk with them back to the dorms for whatever reason a trail of little rabbits and other cute animals will follow them trying to cheer them up

Rikidou Satou

Constantly baking for y/n, after something runs out he will have something even better ready to give to them

Teaches has them to bake

Self doubts when y/n is around good looking people and tries to show off his muscles to show that he’s worth them

Y/n knows he deserves them ❤️

Some times he’ll make something super sugary and shares with the class and their all like “????? This is so sugary I can’t eat this???????”

And y/n is munching on it and everyone knows that he makes them stuff like this all the time

“How in the world are you still fit?” “Lots and lots of working out and only eat healthy outside of it. No chips or anything , and it’s fine”

Randomly declares that he loves random thing about them

“I love how their hair smells after they shower!” “Okay Satou anyways when are we gonna-“

Y/n said he was a good kisser once and now every time he sees them walk in the room he makes a kissy face

Taking random walks around campus

And they talk to people they pass by

Like so many people around the school know about them and they become known as “that one really cute walking couple”

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep21

Last episode for this season!

It’s strange we’re only getting 21. It feels like an awkward number to end on since many other anime that goes on for 20+ episodes have at least 24-26. Oh well, s3 has been announced so it’s all good I guess.

It's still the Apocalypse (the last day of it) and Iruma is trying to finish all of his homework which seem to be going well. He had a lot to do due to homework being doubled.

Why was homework doubled? It's the consequence of a past action...

It was due to the bet from back at the Walter Park arc! They remembered about it (I kinda forgot about it, honestly, since so many things happened since then).

Grandpa Sullivan is the one to choose the winners and decided it was all of them making them all both the winners and losers of the bet. With this, both the prize and punishments applied - they were treated to an expensive meal but they also have to deal with a ton of homework. Kalego-sensei is pissed he had to pay for everyone’s food but was very happy to tell them that they will be suffering for the rest of the apocalypse.

Iruma worked hard and got through all the homework though.

This Apocalypse Iruma had: gone on vacation with his friends, went on a sleepover at a friend's house, and went on a date... so naturally, this time around he's spending time with family!

He and Grandpa are gonna go buy school supplies. I kinda missed when me and my family did that back in the day. I always found shopping for school supplies fun.

Due to the season's earlier events, Iruma has gotten pretty popular it seems so Grandpa gives him anti-recognition glasses for a disguise. Ain’t the boy cute? I dunno why but with anime characters, glasses actually either add or subtract from how good or bad their appearance is.

Haha this reminds me, there’s this anime called “Castle Town Dandelion” and the MC is a girl who hates standing out and in one episode, her sister gave her glasses that could allegedly do the same thing Iruma’s glasses here could. It doesn’t work like that and everyone just acted as if it does to make her feel better. Akane needed this version lol.

They're headed to Magical Street to go shopping! A new area has been introduced to both us and Iruma.

This is apparently where shops, parks and also teacher's dorms are located. I’m wondering why the teacher’s dorms are here when back in the episodes where Iruma joined the student council, it seems he and the student council members were staying over at school. Why isn’t the dorm for faculty members at school, too then? Weird.

Iruma's Grandpa is pretty popular, too. People crowded around him as soon as they saw him but doesn't recognize Iruma due to the glasses. Makes me wonder why Grandpa didn't wear ones himself lol.

Grandpa Sullivan isn’t just popular as he’s well-liked, too.

First, clothes shopping! Iruma tried on a coat as they need some for the upcoming winter. Grandpa decides these were good and takes an entire rack. Damn they're rich lol. He tells Iruma to just wear a different one everyday.

They're buying accessories next and Opera suggest that Iruma buy a collar for his familiar which is Kalego-sensei lol. Iruma knew it would not end well if he actually did that and declines. Opera is disappointed by this... they really want to mess with Kalego, huh?

I think it’s funny but I also pity Kalego-sensei. Having to deal with his senpai’s antics long after graduating. The nightmare of many former students.

Next they're buying books! God this makes me miss going to book fairs.

Grandpa tells the staff at the desk what books he wanted and each one he lists off automatically flies down next to him (pretty cool). Grandpa explains that Iruma would need a lot of books to learn more spells. They talked about the spell Fractal (which Iruma used to princess carry Ameri last episode) and Grandpa tells him that with enough practice, Iruma could also use it to be able to fly. Grandpa takes this chance to show-off to Iruma by using it to take down a shoplifter. Everyone in the store is amazed but Iruma's praise is the one Grandpa cares about the most.

They continue shopping for stuff. This was funny cause the way Grandpa said the lollipop's name reminded me of how Doraemon introduces the items from his pocket. Also, does this mean that lollipop has no expiration date?

The day ends with the two having a talk (Opera went and got the carriage). Iruma says he had a lot of fun at school which made his Grandpa happy knowing Iruma has gotten used to living here. Grandpa tells him that the new semester would be even more eventful than this one and showed him a poster of what I assume would be the festivals the other fans have been mentioning.

In the middle of their talk, Iruma suddenly asks Grandpa about how to become a Demon King (likely cause he overheard some people wondering aloud why Sullivan, a powerful demon, didn't want to take the job despite being qualified for it).

Grandpa is surprised and speechless for a moment but then becomes happy and says if Iruma is asking cause he wanted to be Demon King then Grandpa will support him. Iruma explains he’s just curious.

Flashback! It seems Grandpa used to work for the former Demon King, Delkiller.

Too bad his face is covered. I’m curious to know what he looked like when he was younger.

Oooh... we finally see him - the infamous Delkiller that's been talked about for a long time. His face isn't completely properly shown for now, I guess but he’s shown to be pretty huge. He seems lazy but he also takes pride in the Demon World he's created. The flashback ends here though.

His hair color reminds me somewhat of Evil Cycle! Iruma’s hair color...

We get a bit of lore info from Grandpa about Demon Kings.

Grandpa explains about the 13 Crowns - representatives of the Demon World who help govern it - and that to become a Demon King, one must possess the trust of every single one since they'd be the one to rule the Demon World.

He also explains the role and power of the Demon King - their word is law and they are the Demon World itself. Demons will do as they commanded. The Demon World is a reflection of whoever ruled it and right now, the Demon World is a fun place because Delkiller-sama was a fun person.

Grandpa explains that with all these in mind, he doesn't know if he'd even get the role someday if he wanted it or if he ever did, if he'd be worthy of it. It’s such a big thing after all.

If he did become the Demon King though, he says he'd do this: make the Demon World "Iruma"-themed lol. Seriously though, he says he'd support Iruma if he'd become the Demon King and would like to see what kind of world Iruma would create.

These statements are very ironic considering who would end up being future Demon King haha.

While Iruma said he didn’t want to become Demon King, he did end up thinking about it. What if he did become the Demon King?

Hmm... for someone who isn’t interested, he looked like he was thinking deeply about it.

They get back home and later that night, Iruma checked the stuff Granpa bought him.

Iruma finally gets a hold of the Demon King Prophecy! We've heard about the prophecy before but Iruma probably hasn't yet until now. After listing the stuff about the future king, there’s a shot of Iruma’s hand with his ring haha. Upon reading this, Iruma thought more about it: What kind of world would it become if he were to become the Demon King?

You’re not the only one wondering Iruma. I’m sure the rest of the fandom is wondering that, too.

The new semester begins! The entire Abnormal class is told that they now have to attain Dalet (4) rank before their second year begins as it's the minimum they'd need to graduate - failure results in them losing the Royal One classroom!

--

Not gonna lie, the shopping part of the episode reminded me of the scenes at the beginning of the firsts Harry Potter movies with them shopping at Diagon Alley. It’s fun and I got to see more of the Demon World. I wonder if they’d show us other places in the Demon World in the next season.

Grandpa happily doting on Iruma made me think that maybe it’d have been better for him if he had gotten to adopt Iruma as a child. Iruma is already a teenager and so their time they could spend together wouldn’t be as long or as often since Iruma had friends and busy with school. On the other hand, Iruma gained a lot of experiences in his crappy life before getting here and it did help him become the person he is. I guess the problem here is that he’s human and he probably ages faster than everyone else. :P

Like I mentioned before, it feels weird we only got 21 episodes this time. I was hoping there’d be another arc before the end of the season. There’s already a season 3 announcement and for next year, I think, so its all good. It might feel like a long time but I thought the same back when season 1 ended and now the finale for season 2 had just aired. Time flies fast.

I just wanna point out that in the last scene at the classroom when they were being told about the rank raising they gotta do, Agares is shown with his eyes visible. I’m glad they never put that mask back to cover his face cause he looks good haha. Glad they kept this detail.

Well, thank you for reading this and the other posts, too if you did. I guess we’d have to wait for season 3 now. I’m glad this show is popular enough to gain another season so fast. :)

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Sink Or Swim

tag list: @cleocc @feeling-kinda-so-so @hopelessromanticvirgo @dreamy-slytherin @adora8 @lockerfivethreefive @painfully-oblivious @poeticinemaa @jjustonemorething @saraben00 @wedarkacademia @coolguyssyndrome @hischbabe @suckerforsobbe @tayspots @starmansander @theah0lt @zoenneforever @invisibleme @chibibanane

~^~

Friday, 20:42

Songs: Daniel Blume - Nights Like This; Selena Gomez - Feel Me

Lucas feels ridiculous.

They haven’t been at the party long, and he’s spent the whole time hiding away along the sidelines. He’d made the mistake of asking his dad to get him a costume, anything, it just has to be a costume, it won’t be that bad. He couldn’t help it, on short notice, with his grounding still somewhat in place and homework beginning to mount up. He’d expected something simple, a crappy zombie costume or maybe a skeleton. Something simplistic. Casual.

He should’ve known better. He should have prepared himself to have to come to the party as a prince.

He’s not even a cool prince. He looks like he walked straight out of a Disney movie, and an animated one at that. He’s just glad there are no frills or over-bright colours. The deep blue is comforting enough, but he still feels weird.

Robbe snorts next to him. “Stop fidgeting. I told you you look good, didn’t I?”

Lucas hums, and continues pulling at his sleeves.

“Lucas, seriously.” Robbe reaches out to still his hands, moving to stand in front of him. “I’m literally wearing the same costume as last year. With the same fake blood.”

Lucas grimaces.

“Yeah, exactly. You look hot. And you have to believe my opinion.”

Lucas raises a brow. “Is that so?”

Robbe hums. “It’s way more trustworthy than the guys’. Luca and Yasmina also said you look hot, right?”

“I think Luca thinks everyone looks hot pretty much all the time.”

Robbe considers this. “Maybe. But I don’t. So believe me.”

“Okay,” Lucas sighs. “For the record, though, you look better than me.”

Robbe snorts, but squeezes his shoulder. “I’ll take your word for it.”

Lucas offers him a smile and casts another glance around, seeking out someone in particular—as usual. It’s not difficult to find him. His eyes latch on to Jana first, and then the arm curved casually around her waist, before trailing up to Jens. They’re dancing awkwardly in the middle of the crowd, but with abandon, not caring how ridiculous they look. Lucas almost wants to cringe at the sight, but his lips creep up in a smile regardless. Once he sets his gaze on the other boy, it’s hard to look away.

He’d met Lucas at the end of his street, despite Lucas’s protests that he didn’t have to go out of his way. Lucas had had to stop before getting to him, freezing in the middle of the sidewalk. Jens had gone for a more expected look, decking himself out in a skin-tight skeleton costume, partially hidden under his coat. It was his face, though, that sent the largest shock through Lucas. Someone had done his makeup perfectly, shading in his temples and eyes and cheekbones and even his neck, highlighting his bones in white, making all his features stark and eerie and stunning.

It would have been fine, if he hadn’t skimmed his eyes over the length of Lucas’s body when he finally reached him with parted lips, as if speechless. Lucas had felt fidgety then, too, until Jens had drawn himself together and cleared his throat. He’d smirked, and said, “I see you took Yasmina’s comment seriously, huh, charmer?” Then Lucas had been able to laugh, and brush the moment of tension off, and Jens had disappeared ten minutes into the party with Jana tugging at his arm.

Lucas feels some of the tension return in a fiery ball of attraction and jealousy, warring together in the pit of his stomach.

“He still looks hotter than both of us, doesn’t he,” Robbe sighs, and Lucas looks at him to see that he’s found Jens in the crowd, too.

Lucas allows himself to nod in agreement. “Even though he’s a terrible dancer.”

“He’s fucking awful,” Robbe laughs.

Lucas drags his gaze away to smile at Robbe again instead. “I’m sure you and Sander would upstage him.”

Robbe’s grin doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he shakes his head. “Uh, I don’t think dancing is my thing either. Sander looks good doing anything, though.”

He sighs, and Lucas snorts, shaking his head slightly. The quiet admiration he holds for Robbe increases in size. It’s strange, seeing someone be so open. It’s not like Ralph, Ralph who is older and experienced and not like Lucas. Robbe, though...Robbe feels fairly similar to Lucas in a lot of ways, and it makes something in him wonder, stirring with a little more hope than he’d held before. A little more understanding.

“How is Sander?” He watches Robbe’s grin twitch as he asks, and quickly backtracks. “You don’t have to tell me. Anything.”

Robbe shakes his head, his smile turning soft. “No, it’s okay. Sander’s bipolar. He already told me I could tell you. He has a good handle on it, it’s just...not always easy,” Robbe shrugs.

Lucas turns the information over and over in his head and hopes he doesn’t look as shocked as he feels. A part of him flinches away from it. The rest of him is screaming that he should have known, somehow. He pushes both sides away and searches for a response. “And right now...isn’t easy?”

“Yeah,” Robbe sighs. “I don’t think it’s a depressive episode, but he was worried it was the start of one. So he’s just taking a bit of a time out this week. He’s still going to school and everything, so I know that it could be worse. That it’s just a bit of a low mood. I just...I think there’s something going on that he hasn’t told me, but...there’s nothing I can do if he doesn’t want me to know.”

“You’re there for him,” Lucas says carefully. “And he loves you. I’m sure he appreciates that enough.”

Robbe shrugs again, but his smile returns, just slightly. “You’re wise for a Disney prince.”

Lucas scoffs and bumps his shoulder, and then they’re laughing, and it’s okay. Robbe gives him a grateful smile and Lucas clasps his shoulder for just a second. He wonders, for a moment, if he should say something, if he should just begin to explain, and he opens his mouth just as Yasmina slips through the crowd in front of them.

She’s donned in all black, with artfully crafted horns on her head made to represent Maleficent’s. She tugs another girl behind her by the wrist, and Lucas recognises her from the party the week before, with her easy smile and dark fringe, now adorned with gold to match her Cleopatra costume. “Look who I brought,” Yasmina presents her.

Robbe instantly greets the girl with a cheerful, “Hey,” and a hug, completing the gesture with a kiss on the cheek. When they part, he gestures at Lucas, and Lucas gives a small wave. “This is Lucas. Lucas, this is Noor.”

“Robbe’s ex,” Yasmina adds helpfully.

Lucas’s eyes widen in understanding. He quickly fixes a smile onto his face as Robbe rolls his eyes and Noor laughs. “Nice to meet you.”

She gives him a quick hug as well as she returns the sentiment. “You’re the one from...Utrecht, right? Moyo told me about you. I’m from The Netherlands too.”

“But she refuses to tell us where,” Robbe says.

“Well, you’ve gotta keep a little mystery,” Lucas agrees.

Noor nods approvingly at him. “Exactly. No Sander tonight?”

Robbe shakes his head as she turns back to him, wrapping an arm over his shoulder. “Not tonight.”

Noor squeezes him. “Everything good with you two?”

“Yeah, everything’s great,” Robbe assures.

“Good.” She pinches his cheek, and Robbe lets her, rolling his eyes fondly, and Lucas can only watch on in astonishment. Robbe hadn’t mentioned they were still friends, and Lucas wouldn’t have believed him if he’d tried to describe how friendly they actually are. He supposes they’ve had time to get to this point, but he can’t quite imagine himself in a similar position. He doesn’t have the heart that Robbe does.

“Do any of you want to come search for a non-alcoholic drink with me?” Yasmina asks hopefully.

Lucas meets Noor’s eye first, and they both turn to smile apologetically at Yasmina, laughing at themselves. Yasmina rolls her eyes with a smile and focuses in on Robbe, who gives in with a small flap of his hand.

“Yeah, okay. You two don’t want to come?” Noor and Lucas shake their heads and Robbe squeezes Noor’s shoulder as he steps away from her. “Okay. You’re in good hands with Lucas, anyway.”

“Yeah, Prince Charming,” she gestures at him easily, and Lucas laughs, already feeling fond.

Robbe and Yasmina slip away, and he and Noor are left sharing a smile. The silence that settles between them is more casual than awkward, but Lucas still searches for a way to break it.

“So, you and Robbe,” he finally settles on, because it’s the only thing he knows. He cringes immediately afterward, but Noor doesn’t seem upset, listening patiently. “I mean, how was that?”

Noor laughs quietly. “Short. Never perfect. But Robbe isn’t easy to stay mad at. Especially when he seemed so much better off, so much happier, after all of it.” She shrugs. “It helps that his boyfriend is pretty cool, too.”

Lucas laughs, too, and a new slot of admiration is created just for her. “Yeah, he is. But you seem very cool, yourself. I can see why he thought, if anyone, that he could like you.”

“Charmer, huh?” Noor smiles, and Lucas can only shrug, feeling bashful. He wonders how he’s managed to paint that image for himself so quickly again. He marvels at how the word no longer sounds so much like liar.

He’s trying to be more himself, now that he has the room to be someone new. He doesn’t hate the idea that it might not be so different from who he already was.

Noor gets distracted as someone else comes to greet her, and Lucas gives them a small smile and falls back into his own little bubble. He doesn’t mind. He’s able to pick Jens out of the crowd again in seconds.

He still looks ridiculous, swaying out of rhythm with Jana’s arms now looped around his neck, the two of them laughing. Looking incredibly cosy. Lucas watches, and wishes, and wants, and he hates himself for it.

Then suddenly, Jens is looking back.

It should be hard to see in the dull light of the room, from completely opposite ends, but Lucas has no doubt that Jens is looking at him. His gaze flicks up and around and lands on Lucas, as if he’d felt him looking and wanted proof. Lucas feels his jumbled bundle of emotions creep up and lodge in his throat, and he swallows thickly, but he can’t make himself look away. Even as Jens doesn’t part from Jana but moves closer, even as his lips tilt up into something like a smirk but maybe a smile, even as his lids fall to create half-moons out of his eyes, Lucas looks.

Jens keeps looking back.

“Hey.”

He snaps out of it as Noor leans up to speak in his ear, smiling knowingly at him.

“Let’s go give him something to look at, hm?”

Lucas stares down at her, shaking his head in instant denial. Panic bubbles up in him, spreading and stretching until there’s no room left for air. “I—What?”

She flicks her eyes to Jens and then back, raising an unimpressed brow at him. “I’ve gotten better at seeing things in the past year, Lucas. With you, I know exactly what I’m looking for.”

He straightens, feels his face forming into something like a glare against his will, but she sets a hand on his arm and squeezes.

“Hey,” she says softly, “stop that. It’s okay. It’s not like I’ll tell.”

He looks at her for another moment, eyes flicking between hers in search of sincerity. He deflates when he finds it. His voice comes out as barely a whisper, and he’s almost sure she won’t hear it. “Is it that obvious?”

She squeezes his arm again and shakes her head. “Only with the way he’s looking back at you right now.”

“That’s not…” Lucas trails off, wondering what he wants to say. “Jens doesn’t look at me like that. Jens isn’t like that.”

Noor tilts her head, frowning. “How do you know?”

Lucas’s lips part and shut as he searches for an answer. Surely it’s just obvious. Maybe he’s the one in the wrong, for so easily ruling Jens out, but it’s the only way to keep his sanity. Even if Jens could be interested, Lucas can’t allow himself to think that Jens would be interested in him.

He sneaks another glance at Jens, and Jens is still looking back, albeit now with a tiny frown.

Noor uses her grip on his arm to give a tiny tug, raising her brows at him as she begins walking backwards, into the crowd. Lucas follows numbly, only coming to his senses when he’s surrounded by dancing bodies. Then he’s able to rapidly shake his head and look at Noor pleadingly. Backtracking.

“I can’t even dance,” he protests, trying to pull out of her grip, and she lets go only to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Lucas, hey, just take a breath.” She squeezes the back of his neck, and he tries to listen to her, drawing air in carefully and slowly blowing it out. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. We don’t have to dance if you don’t want to. But if you really think he isn’t reciprocating, why waste your night on him? It’s a party, and you look hot as hell, and you should be having fun.”

He almost tells her that she’s just made that a lot harder, because the anxiety currently swirling in his chest is almost enough to drag him under and keep him down for the foreseeable future. She seems to know, anyway, squeezing his neck again as her smile softens into something apologetic. She doesn’t ask any more questions, and she doesn’t make him say the words, and some of the worry dissipates in a cloud of relief.

Someone knows someone knows someone knows.

It’s a little distressing that she’d been able to figure it out on her own, after knowing him for mere minutes, but he’d given himself away and he hadn’t tried at all to deny it. He can’t bring himself to be mad, or upset, as Noor’s smile widens again and she guides him into a rhythmic sway.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, letting himself relax slightly, following her lead.

Noor’s grin widens, and she slides her hands down his arms until she can grip his and guide him into a more dramatic movement. He snorts, and tries not to feel too stupid, and eventually lets a small smile grow on his face.

He can admit it feels nice, taking a moment to let himself go. He doesn’t feel so ridiculous, now. Noor helps, taking the lead and keeping her wide smile, squeezing Lucas’s hands on occasion, dancing happily without much assistance from Lucas. Lucas finds himself moving mindlessly, helped this time by the alcohol only recently added to his system.

His eyes drift back to Jens on their own accord. It’s no harder to find him now, and Lucas’s heart flutters and pounds when he instantly meets his eyes. It’s impossible to truly tell from such a distance, with the lights dim and flashing, but Lucas is almost sure his gaze has darkened, has taken on a new intensity in the few minutes that Lucas hadn’t been looking.

His breath catches, and then leaves him in a rush, because Jana has pulled Jens down into a kiss, and Jens kisses back.

But he’s still looking at Lucas.

Even as Jana cups his face and holds him closer, even as his hands move to her back, even as Noor wraps her arms back around Lucas’s neck, oblivious, Jens keeps looking.

Lucas can’t look away.

Even as his heart tears itself to shreds, it pounds. He can’t stop watching how Jens’s jaw works, how his lashes flutter, how he dips his head, how his eyes never leave Lucas. As if it’s Lucas he wants to be kissing. As if it’s Lucas he has in his arms.

As ridiculous as it is, Lucas can almost feel it.

Stop. He wouldn’t be kissing her at all if he wanted to kiss you. You knew to expect this. Why would he want you?

Lucas has no answer to his thoughts other than the emotions swirling in his chest. The ache from where his feelings had crumbled to dust seems to have inflamed, as if struck by a match. Smoking, not quite managing to set him alight, and still, he has never felt anything like it.

The music cutting off is the only thing that snaps him out of it, and then the lights lift, and he realises Jens has looked away, glancing around in confusion with the rest of the crowd. Senne—who Lucas hadn’t even gotten to greet tonight but who he’d met at his first party here, along with Zoë—clambers onto a chair at the front of the room and claps his hands.

“Cops are at the end of the street, we’re clearing out. Anyone with something to hide needs to go now.”

Fuck.

Lucas casts around in search of his friends, but there are too many people moving around for him to see much. When he looks, however, he can tell that Jens has disappeared. Zoë has taken his place, and is already collecting her things with Jana.

Noor grabs his arm and reclaims his attention. “Do you have anything?”

He shakes his head. “Who did you come with?”

“No one, but I’m fine, my bike’s just down the street. I’ll be gone in seconds.”

He hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she rolls her eyes, but she pulls him down to plant a kiss on his cheek. “It was lovely meeting you, Lucas. Don’t forget what I said, okay?”

He nods, but she’s already slipping through the crowd and disappearing. Lucas begins to follow, moving with the others in hopes of finding someone, and he merges into the hallway at the same time as Robbe, who is collecting his things from the corner. He catches sight of Lucas and smiles, making his way to him quickly and latching onto his arm. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, but do you have the stuff?”

Robbe’s eyes widen slowly. “Fuck. Jens.”

Lucas knew it. He closes his eyes briefly and then takes a hold of Robbe, pulling him down the hallway with him. They look ridiculous, he’s sure, a prince and a zombie slinking through the currents of people, but there’s a new purpose filling him now.

[sideshow-wolfie]

Coming Out...

I've been happy with these terms for so long, I feel like I need to express it to you... Even if it felt a bit painful...

I'm proud to announce that I'm Genderfluid. I've been having a Gender Dysphoria for a long time, since 2 months into my Sophomore (11th) year, and I finally found out who I truley was... Previously I was Demigirl, meaning I was full girl, but different. THAT didn't suit me anymore as I got to February... I just went off as genderless, Aka Nonbinary. Nonbinary suited me for a little bit, until that wasn't the case either as Spring Break started. I looked through the information, and I finally found out why my Gender Identity changed constantly... In the end of April I discovered I was Genderfluid... What does that mean?

My gender identity changes around infinitely, and it concludes that my gender was never meant to be confirmed.... I was previously a girl, but I'm fine with They/Them Pronouns. ❤️

Here's an example:

Day 1: Nonbinary

Day 2: Bigender

Day 3: Pangender

Day 4: Demigirl

Day 5: Transgender

and the gender list goes on and mixes around everyweek and day.

Lastly, for the gender part, I have been connected to wolves for so long.. both mentally and physically.. so long that I did not realize what I was until now. (I was like this all the way back in 2012, when I was in elementary)

I kept thinking I was something else. I constantly howled when I'm home alone, and that I wish I had someone to do it with me... And I bark, like other wolves or werewolves...

Not that I'm Genderfluid, but I am also WolfGender. WolfGender means that I connect with Lycanthrope/Wolf/Werewolf Life, and that I was a wolf in the first place...

I have been questioning to myself if I was always going to be with a boy, girl, whoever else, or remain single for the rest of my life when I was a girl...

In 2014, I had watched a show that eventually made me feel this... attraction to people.

You guessed it...

Inanimate Insanity

But so to let you know, it is NOT season 1. It is season 2.

The character that started to make me attracted to a gender was Microphone... Microphone was a hyped contestant, but eventually things got deep for her... I had loved this character for 6 1/2 years, and I kept constantly drawing her as a werewolf... Whenever I drew Mic, I felt happy. When I was 10 years old, I got a T-Shirt of her... My god I felt like life was complete ❤️

Throughout Middle School, I have had my first relationship with someone... Zero was my first crush that I had ever hung out. However, long story short, we broke up due to multiple toxic reasons (Involving me, and It was my fault...).

That took me a whole year to move on, and breakups aren't that easy to get over sometimes. I thought I couldn't be happy anymore, until I found Cory...

Cory was also a girl, like how I was... We both met on deviantart, and we would always hang out with each other. We both liked the same thing, and we like the same kinks (Aagh, I apologize for mentioning!!), But they weren't NSFW, don't worry! Me and Them would always chat on Discord... But then I developed a crush on them... Cory felt suprised when I told them how I was starting to feel... It had been 2 years since I fell in love with someone, and I was happy that the feeling came back.

However, we didn't start a relationship just yet... and was called off early a week after I told them in March, due to the fact they were shy... I understood that feeling. What honestly almost lost my future was the prom. Originally, Cory DID have a prom date to celebrate their night, but he cheated on them for another female... When they told me that he cheated on them, I knew It was time for me to become who I was meant for...

I wanted to be a Lesbian for the rest of my life... And it was my time to have that chance again... I was NOT desperate, but I wanted to make our future into a perfect never-ending chapter... We got together in April 2020 (during the COVID-19 pandemic), and I am happy to announce that we are still a couple! Though there ARE a few changes...

Cory eventually became Genderqueer and Bisexual, because they fell in love with a person (which is now a girl), and... I kinda felt anxious, but hey, it's all settled... Cuz, love is love.

I became Genderfluid, but I mainly identified as a boy, and considered to myself as Gay (I still did NOT want to be reminded of my previous relationship with Zero nor the Guy that had used me for Sexual Assault).

Both of us had felt more... And I realize that Love can and will be infinite 💙❤️🖤♾

So Everyone, Yes I am gay, but I'm also Polyamorous! Unfortunately it IS illegal in the United States, so this is why I'm not telling my school or my family about this... They do accept me for being Gay, but not the Polyamorous part. Again, I'm not telling them I'm Poly, in order to keep myself from being attacked and teased.

To Finalize my Coming Out Blog, I am also feeling attracted to something else... Kinda like how I fell in love with Microphone, but was from another show.

The show was called The Simpsons.

The Simpsons is one of the oldest animated sitcoms, yet it is still the funniest hits I had ever watched from Fox. Without them, I wouldn't have typed this final part...

However, I was not attracted to Marge, Homer, Lisa or anybody... In fact I was in love with a phsycopath... It isn't Snake Jailbird, or Homer's Killer...

I'm In love with Sideshow Bob (Robert Terwilliger).

At that moment when I felt flattered whenever he spoke, or was shown in some scenes of the show (old and new seasons, EXCEPT FOR HIS OLDER APPEARENCE)... I had drawn him for the first time, but it was kinda crappy, because I never drew a Simpsons character in my life. When I was younger I drew Itchy and Scratchy... For a while I stopped... I had a crush on both Itchy and Scratchy... Now it's that Palm Tree Haired Cutie. ❤️

I suddenly got curious if it was possible to love an character like him as a babe... Google gave me and answer, and It found out what my puzzle was.. it's not Bisexual, which I kinda figured...

Apparently, I am Fictosexual. I am in love with animated characters, whether from an adult animated show, teen animated, and POSSIBLY all-family animated show... Which Technically for me, I would always lay my heart on Bob's.

In Conclusion, it's ok to love who you care about, and what you care about, and it is okay to be true to yourself. You can be who you are, and who you think will make you happier, even if it is animated X3

Happy Pride, everyone! YOU ARE ALL VALID!!

#LoveIsLove

[cowboyshit]

twenty questions

tagged by: @dustofinsanity (thank you so much my dear!!!!!!)

what do you prefer to be called name-wise? honestly I’ll probably answer to most things as long as they aren’t mean. but ash, ashley, doe, those seem to be the solid three I’m known by around here when is your birthday? november 30th!  where do you live? in a tiny, backwoods cow-town smack dab in the middle of california three things you are doing right now? filling this questionnaire out, eating dinner I just finished cooking, and petting sadie with my foot since she’s curled up at my feet after she finished her dinner four fandoms that have peaked your interest. I guess I can go with four I’ve been heavily involved with, even though there’s plenty more than that since I’m a little fangirl at heart, but wrestling (obviously), black sails, the night shift, and pirates of the caribbean how has the pandemic been treating you? uh, I mean, it hasn’t been great and I’ve had to deal with some pretty bad shit as all of us have, and probably some of my worst mental health battles I’ve had to face in about a year or so, but honestly? I just kind of count my blessings these days. lucky to still be employed, even if my pay got a little cut it was nothing that keeps me from paying my bills. all I had to do was take away a few luxury things to make ends meet, and that’s a lot, LOT less than other people have had to do. so yeah, it’s been pretty shitty, this year has been bad news after bad news both personally and globally, but whatever. it could be worse. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? it is no-joke like a four-way tie. a bunch of good songs were in my discover weekly and I’ve been playing four of them on non-stop repeat one after the other. oh! and one my best friend showed to me. this baby don’t cry by k. flay, rock bottom by grandson, ok ok by hoko, and insurgents by the poolside by denny recommend a movie. i’ve jumped into holiday mood early af because tbh I need the holiday cheer, so keeping in that theme, I suggest the holiday with jude law because DUH how old are you? thirty! school, university, occupation, other? had some college, been working in my current career for the past ten years. hoping to pursue a promotion finally since my supervisors have been telling me for the past eight years that I need to promote do you prefer heat or cold? cold pleeeaaaase! I’m a radiator and put off heat like nobody’s business. I’m always warm. name one fact others may not know about you. this is hard because I just constantly blab everything about me, and I have two people who literally know EVERYTHING about me lmfao uhhh I guess... something people may not know... uhhh... on my dad’s side of the family one half was ashkenazi jewish who had to flee germany to avoid the holocaust, where they went to live in italy, while the other half were nazi’s committing some pretty bad stuff that my family won’t talk about, even to this day. funny how two descendants eventually met in america and fell in love, huh? and when they DID fall in love one of them was half italian and in the mafia! so I always joke that my bubbly cheerful self is a descendent of some pretty evil shit, and it feels like a nice little stab at those shitty ancestors of mine. are you shy? uhhh yeah and no??? like. I think I’m shy, since all interaction terrifies me and exhausts me, but everyone tells me I’m a social butterfly? and I’ve noticed in places I’m comfortable and confident, I do tend to be less shy and more involved and interactive? but I think I can be shy. a lot of waiting for other people to initiate because I’m too afraid to, struggling to talk or carry a conversation at times... I don’t know I think I’m overcomplicating this answer LOL preferred pronouns? she/her!  biggest pet peeves? gatekeeping, to be perfectly honest. I stopped following wrestling back in 2014 because when I first tried to get into the fandom, someone was trying to gatekeep a wrestler I also liked and had started making content for and they made me feel like shit for liking them, and I absolutely hated it. that’s why it took me an entire two years of quietly lurking in the wrestling fandom before I finally got brave enough to come out of the woodwork, and I’m grateful I’ve been so well received this time around. but now I’m hyper-sensitive to gatekeeping and I fucking hate it. no joke. and since it’s a pet peeve and I’m irked just remembering all that bs I went through, ima say I’m only a part of fandom to share my love of whatever that thing is with other people who love it too. I can’t stand anyone who thinks they have some sort of “claim” over a celebrity or a show or anything. get a different identity that isn’t wrapped up in that thing and stop seeing it as a threat when other people like it. be happy someone else is as passionate about that thing as you are and make a friend. damn. what is your favorite “dere” type? I’m pretty sure this is something with anime or that originated from anime, right? unfortunately I don’t know what they are so I can’t say LOL I don’t even know if I’m right about it coming from anime tbh rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. 4, 5, but I’m putting in the foundation now and working to make it a 6, 7, or possibly 8 by a year or two from now. what’s your main blog? funnily enough? this one. my OTHER blog that was my main blog since I joined tumblr in 2009 got shoved to the side for this one last year LOL I assumed I’d log onto this blog once in awhile, but now it took over my whole damn life so here I am I guess list your side blogs and what they’re used for. I’m going to be fair and ONLY list my active ones because I have a few side blogs from when I role-played on tumblr that I haven’t touched in over a year. @doedreamss is my non-wrestling blog that WAS my main blog before this one, @cowboysht is my archive where I am ONLY putting my original gifsets/analysis/fanfiction so that one day I can offer people a blog of just my original work and no other posts (the queue is very slowly catching up I think I’ve queued posts up until june this year), @illfatedandstarcrossed is just a non-frequently used outlet for me to mope and dump emotions when I get sad about my relationship things (like a diary! but... public? and not my original thoughts? LOL), and then I have one more blog but it’s locked and private and it’s LITERALLY my diary where I can just vent when I got shit I wanna get off my chest but don’t necessarily want people to see it. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I probably won’t talk to you daily, tbh. I may not even talk to you weekly. socializing takes a lot out of me, on top of an already energy draining day-to-day in my personal life. I have a handful of people I connect with who I talk with frequently, but unfortunately as much as I’d love for it to be endless, I have to keep that list short for my own sanity. my infrequent conversations mean absolutely nothing about my lack of interest in you or how much I care about you. my granny once said I would be the perfect friend for someone you only want to talk to twice a month and she thought she was insulting me, but deadass I just said “YEAH! EXACTLY!!”

tagging: I really like this one so I WANT to tag people, but I feel braindead and also just want to post it cause I feel like I am definitely gonna forget to tag someone tbh aaaaahh okay okay I’m just gonna throw some names out there but please don’t feel pressured to do this (it is TWENTY questions) @kennyhoemega, @champbucks, @superkickparty, @adampage, @hintsofsunshine, @audreyhrnes, @sheslikealostflower, @lancearchers, @champnick, @janelanutella, @edgecution, @superrezzy00, @wardl0w, @writinglionqueen, @orangechuckiet, @hungmanhorsecarriage, @icouldbesus, @thatnerdwriter, @rampagewriting, @snarkandsarcasmftw, @tetsuyainthesky AND I DUNNO JUST ANYONE WHO WANTS TO OK I LOVE YOU ALL BYE

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Crescent Chapter 4 Revision Notes

since I did this for Chapter 3 Revision, I thought I’d also do this for Chapter 4 as well. Speaking of, you can check out edited Chapter 4 here!

Approximately 1k was added to the original 3k length, making it 4k overall now

Mainly smoothed over awkward sentences for this revision

Removed Monty Python reference and replaced it with a tongue-in-cheek Little Red Riding Hood reference instead as it felt more fitting for a werewolf story

Went more into what the general societal interpretation of werewolves and the animal wolves are

Added a New Flashback Scene w/ Virgil’s parents telling him about supernatural beings (Show not tell, kiddos)

Patton and Logan are now 10% More Suspicious 

This: If there was anything worse than potentially being in a kidnapping situation, it was being in a situation where you’re unsure you’re speaking with someone you should know or not.

Anyways it’s fun writing a sick, feverish Virgil whose anxiety really makes him equate potentially life-threatening situations with non-life-threatening situations

Original Chapter 4 below the cut in case you’re curious on the overall difference!

Virgil wasn’t entirely convinced he hadn’t died in that alleyway, his whole life worth a grand total of $5, and ended up in some strange purgatory. It wasn’t every day that one woke up to an apex predator snuggled up close to them like a teddy bear. Well, maybe it was common among people who chose to live off-grid in the wilderness somewhere. But for Virgil, who spent the entirety of his life in urban settings except for the occasional jaunt to a camp site, it was not what he signed up for in life. He was content to limiting his encounters with wildlife to minor annoyances such as squirrels, birds and raccoons.

The first thing he noticed waking up, aside from the fact he still felt like crap, was that he wasn’t in his apartment. He noticed this from the light streaming in from through the cracks of the window blinds.

Virgil didn’t have window blinds in his apartment. He couldn’t afford them. Instead he duct-taped a blanket around his window—blocking all rays of sunlight from entering his bedroom. He preferred it that way—he didn’t even use his overhead light. After a long day at work, everything was just too bright and loud for Virgil to handle.

Even the tiniest of things set him off. He found that keeping his room a dark cavern where he could escape into helped matters.

The sunlight was also an indication that it was no longer nighttime—though he couldn’t say if was the morning directly after or an eternity later. He had a few snatches of images but nothing else. They were too fuzzy and distant for Virgil to discern if they were actual memories or just dreams. It was why he hated being sick—it turned his mind into a pile of mush. His perception of time was screwy—well, more screwy than usual. He was used to weeks feeling like months, and months feeling like weeks. He’d blink, and it’d be Christmas. He’d blink again, and barely a day passed.

It was right about this time that he realized he wasn’t alone in the room. Something shifted beside in the bed, and he froze. He looked down, seeing that the pillow underneath his right arm was not in fact a pillow but a living, breathing wolf.

Upon a first glance, one might’ve assume it was a husky. It was a reasonable assumption to make, as no one expects to find a wolf in their bed, in the same manner that no one expects the Spanish Inquisition. But the fur was too muted, a barrage of different shades of greys draped across a creamy white coat. A wolf’s head was larger, and its’ snout elongated compared to a husky. Not to mention how massive the wolf was! The length of its’ body equaled Virgil’s height.

Virgil always thought wolves were cool, ever since he watched Balto as a kid and connected with the wolf-dog’s dilemma of being outcasted from society. Back in middle school when he had more time on his hands, he drew a bunch of melodramatic, crappy comics about wolf packs filled with cartoonish blood and gore.

However, he never truly understood why people feared wolves until he discovered a wolf nestled in the nook his arm, its’ enormous head resting peacefully on his chest. He’d always imagined them to be around the size of huskies or Labradors, not this monstrous size. Suddenly people fearing a pack of wolves tearing them apart limb from limb terrifyingly made sense in his mind.

Or why people feared the idea of humans who could turn into wolves even more. His teachers taught how supernatural creatures like werewolves and vampires were monsters without a shred of humanity left in them. They were diseased humans who needed their suffering to be put to an end.  His parents, however, spoke with him in private. They made him promise to be wary but polite to any supernatural being he happened across. He had yet to come across one—supernatural sightings were few and far between. People whispered that soon that might not be any left.

Still, he used his left hand to pet the wolf’s fur. He ran his fingers through it, trying to determine if it was real, or just another absurd fever dream. Maybe he should try pinching himself next, snap out of it before the dream ended up with him getting mauled to death.

Something rough like sandpaper collided with his cheek, and Virgil jerked his hand away. The wolf’s eyes were open, brown as molasses, as its’ tail thumped against the bed. It seemed…excited to see him, akin to a dog seeing a human they adored. For a moment, Virgil wondered that maybe he was wrong. Perhaps it was a wolf-dog or a gigantic mutt of some sort.

But then he saw the sharp incisors resting beneath its’ tongue and the huge paws with sharp claws and retracted that thought. Without giving much thought, he attempted pulling away from the wolf. Where, he didn’t know, nor did he think hard on how he could escape out of the room alive. It wouldn’t take much the wolf to maul him where he laid. He was reacting to the fear pumping through his veins, demanding him to flee from the situation.

A paw pushed against his chest and the wolf let out a low, guttural growl. Virgil complied, immediately lying back on the bed. He closed his eyes tight, heart pounding in his ears, awaiting death for only the second time this week. His stomach felt queasy—but whether it was from fear or from illness, he didn’t know.

The bed shifted, and the box springs creaked as something launched itself off the bed. The warm fur of the wolf was gone, and Virgil cautiously opened his eyes to see the wolf standing in front of the bed. Its head was at eye-contact level with Virgil. It glared at him, giving the equivalent of a “I’m watching you” look.

Satisfied that Virgil wouldn’t attempt leaving the bed, the wolf turned and trotted out the door. Virgil let a breath of relief, as he sat forward. He didn’t leave the bed; out of the fear he’d become wolf’s chow the moment his toes touched the floor. That, and the fact he was extremely lightheaded. Really, he just wanted to curl up into a ball and die already.

That wasn’t what he truly wanted, however. He wanted the warm, comforting embrace of his parents. He wanted his mother to whisper words of encouragement into his ears and his father telling corny jokes to make Virgil laugh. He wanted them more than anything else in the world. Every time he thought he finally accepted their deaths, he found himself swept back into the grieving process all over again.

No, he couldn’t afford to do this right now. He needed to focus. Was this real life or just fantasy? How he could test that? Virgil swallowed. He’d never been a lucid dreamer—able to determine dreams from reality and take full control of where his dreams took him. His dream was a roller-coaster; he was just along for the ride to whatever heights and plunges they shaped up to be.

People didn’t feel pain in dreams. Or at least that’s what movies taught, anyways. Characters always pinched themselves to make sure they weren’t dreaming up whatever absurd fantasy existed in the story. Like waking up in unfamiliar room beside a wolf for example.

Virgil dug his nails into the flesh of his arms—pressing as hard as he could. A small sharp pain sprouted in the area, and Virgil withdrew his hand. He stared at the half-crescent shape on his arm from the pinch, watching it slowly fade. He took a long, deep breath. He wasn’t dreaming, at least if the fact you can’t feel pain in dreams was correct.

You can’t always trust what you see in movies, you know. A small thought nagged at him.

He ignored it, choosing to search around the bedroom for more clues. There were more signs that could be used to indicate if he was in a dream or not. Reading words and numbers were impossible in dreams.  It was a small spare bedroom clearly used for mainly storage as indicated by the piles of boxes off to the left-hand corner of the room. The walls were a bland beige color and barren of any paintings or photographs. Directly facing Virgil was the window with the previously mentioned window-blinds. There was a closed door left of the window, presumably leading to a closet. In front of the closet door was a tall, brown bookshelf full of books, with cat knickknacks scattered across the shelves.

The book titles were horizontal, causing Virgil to tilt his head sideways to get a better look of their names. It was mostly full of classics like Moby Dick, 1984, Frankenstein—every book that Virgil grew to loathe during high school. The fact he could read them further cemented that this wasn’t a dream.

But what about telling time? There weren’t any clocks hanging up on the walls. Fortunately, he happened to glance down at the nightstand to find a digital clock. 10:32AM.

He could feel pain, read words, and tell time. Still, he couldn’t help but be paranoid. There was two ways people expected to leave a mugging, and that’s either in a body bag or without their wallet. Did the mugger decide to kidnap Virgil, and if so why? Was he a part of some kind of human trafficking ring?!

Voices erupted in the hallway outside the door, and Virgil glanced anxiously at the doorway. Their voices were to too hushed for Virgil to discern what was being conversed. He wanted to call out to them, demand what was going on. But he thought of the wolf and the words refused to come out. The voices quieted, as footsteps drew closer to the door.

“Hello!”

Virgil flinched as a grown man bounded in like a rambunctious golden retriever. The man was tall—Virgil would be lucky if he came up to his shoulder height. He wore a light blue jacket with white pompoms attached to the strings of the hoodie. Black cats decorated the bottom half of the jacket, giving Virgil the sinking suspicion that he was the one responsible for the cat knickknacks in the room. Along with the jacket, he wore a simple pair of gray pants. His eyes beamed at Virgil from behind a pair of round-shaped glasses.

Another man followed him into the room, looking much like an exasperated parent with their hyperactive five-year-old. They almost looked like twins with the same glasses and similar brown hair, if it wasn’t for the fact he was a few inches shorter than the first man. Not to mention his jaw was more angular and his physique was slimmer compared to the other’s. He reminded Virgil of a teacher based on his attire; a black polo with a blue tie complete with black slacks and shoes. It was hard to discern the expression on his face, but Virgil felt a shiver down his spine all the same.

“Hey.” He croaked, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh! I’m so happy you’re okay!” The first man squealed, rushing forward to gather up Virgil in an embrace.

The man never heard of personal space, apparently. Virgil yelped, caught in the man’s strong hold.

Teacher Dude just sighed, face-palming at the other’s antics.

“Patton, just—stop it, you’re scaring him,” He reprimanded, placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder and guiding him off Virgil.

Virgil’s eyes widened. He recognized his voice as the one who calmed him down after that awful nightmare. Logan, was it?

“I’m sorry!” Patton exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment, “I just got excited and forgot how scared and confused you might be right now.”

Damn right he was scared and confused. Not that he was going to show it openly to two strangers who may potentially be his kidnappers, however.

“What happened to the wolf?” He demanded, crossing his arms.

“What wolf?” Logan asked, tilting his head to the side quizzically.

“I woke up and there, um there was this huge-ass wolf lying beside me. I thought I was dreaming—still kinda actually.”

Logan shared a terse look with Patton, who sheepishly broke eye-contact and muttered a soft “Language.”

Virgil didn’t have much time to read into the nonverbal exchange as Logan cleared his throat and said, “I’m afraid you’re mistaken, as it would too unwise to keep a wolf as a pet considering their status as an undomesticated wild creature. That was simply Patton’s pet dog. He has a bad habit of being overly friendly with strangers.”

A look of hurt briefly flashed across Patton’s face before he broke into a smile.

“Yeah. I—he didn’t mean any harm, I promise!”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Virgil shrugged.

“You’re not as freaked out as I expected you to be.” Logan said as he pressed his glasses closer to the bridge of his nose.

“Like I said I’m still not, uh, convinced that this isn’t a dream—” Virgil sneezed.

“Bless you.” Patton said.

Virgil sneezed once more.

“Bless you again!”

“Here,” Logan handed Virgil a box of tissues, “and I assure you that you’re not dreaming, though I do admit this is an unusual situation.”

“Thanks,” Virgil blew his nose, “care for an explanation?”

Logan hesitated, “How much do you remember leading up to waking up here?”

Virgil huffed. He gave a bare bones summary, cutting back on the profanity when he saw it was upsetting Patton. Once Virgil had finished recounting, Logan adjusted his tie.

“Patton was your rescuer. He saw what was going on and knocked your attacker unconscious. He then went to check up on you and noticed you were feverish. I have to apologize on Patton’s behalf, his heart was in the right place, but he has a habit of making decisions without thinking things through,” Logan explained, “Instead of calling the cops or taking you to the hospital, he panicked.”

“I was worried,” Patton bit his lips, “I didn’t want to you unconscious and alone after what happened!”

Virgil sympathized with the guy. Hell, it sounded like something he’d do. Often Virgil became so blindsided with panic that all rationality went out the window. He was grateful that Logan hadn’t been the one to find him; Good Samaritan or not, hospital bills were the last thing Virgil wanted to deal with.

“As I said, you could’ve taken him to the hospital or the police station.” Logan gritted his teeth before glancing over to Virgil, “We can take you to a doctor’s office if you’d like—”

“No, thank you.” Virgil interrupted, his tone cold and biting. No way did he have money to cover an appointment let alone the medication. He groaned, clenching his stomach. He still couldn’t tell if it felt weird from his anxiety of the situation or because he was sick.

“How long has been since…”

“Tuesday?”

“Yeah, Tuesday.” Virgil coughed.

“It’s been about two days—you’ve been in and out of it, but I don’t think you remember in your feverish state of mind. I’ve been making sure you’ve been drinking fluids and keeping your bandages clean.” Logan informed.

“Two days.” Virgil repeated weakly, shutting his eyes. Two whole days—it meant he missed two whole shifts without at least calling in. He was most definitely fired from his job.

“Are you alright?” Patton asked.

Virgil cackled, which quickly snowballed until a coughing fit. He was far from okay.

“Not really,” He replied, “Being sick sucks, you know.”

“Hey, it’s alright if you want stay with us until you get better,” Patton chirped, leaning forward on the balls of his feet.

Virgil blinked. What, seriously? He’d expected they would simply throw him out of the house as soon as he regained consciousness. They’d established that his existence in their home was a panic-fueled mistake. Who took care of a completely random sick stranger? That just didn’t happen.

“We’d understand it if you’d prefer it if we dropped you off at your home.” Logan spoke up.

“But really, it’s not a problem if you wanna stay!” Patton added excitedly, “I mean, uh, until you’re better of course!”

As much as he preferred the comforts of his own room—Virgil’s not looking forward to having to deal with the roommate. Interacting with the guy while he was sick just added another headache on top of things. Not to mention, he did not want to come to his roommate with the news that he was most certainly out of a job. But he didn’t want to be an unnecessary burden to a bunch of random strangers. He could see it in Logan’s eyes, he wanted Virgil out of here as soon as possible.

“Thanks, but I don’t want to be a burden to you guys—”

“I promise you’re anything but that,” Patton interrupted.

Virgil opened his mouth before quickly clasping his hand over it. Logan shoved a trash can beneath his mouth, and he immediately retched into it. Yup, definitely the sickness’ fault. Or maybe a combination of the two working together in cahoots. It didn’t matter at this point, he was too exhausted to care.

“I’m just—I’m just going to take a nap.” Virgil groaned, burying his head into his pillow.

“That’s perfectly fine,” Logan said softly, “Rest and hydration is important in overcoming illnesses.”

Huh, that was the nicest Logan had been to him so far. Who knew it took Logan seeing him vomit to gain an ounce of sympathy from him.

“We’ll let you get some rest then.” Patton said, as the door closed quietly after them.

Virgil knew he should be worried about his job. He should be worried about how he was going to pay for stuff like his half of the apartment rent. He should be worried about staying in a strangers’ home in such suspicious circumstances.

But right now, he was wonderfully void of all worry. It was a false sense of peace, to be sure. As soon as his mind became less fuzzy, the worry would come rushing back like an overflooded dam. But for right now, it was loveliest feeling in the world.

[artyrogue]

Blind Date Gaming: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R

Well today's date was a blast from my past. Remember way back when in yesteryear, before the advent of anime in the west? Probably not? Well hey, let's go back in time to when Sailor Moon was like the only anime being shown on TV. Okay, so yeah, it's really not super-great and all (at least the dub wasn't...), but whatever, it was my jam as a young impressionable lad of...what was I, like 10 or something? I can't remember, but since my old grey brick Game Boy was the cornerstone of my youth, I am a little excited to revisit a merging of two old passions. That's right! We're gonna play some Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon R!

It starts with a cutscene, of course. This IS based off an anime, so we gotta get a fill of some anime girls with their obligatory high school problems! Sadly for me, it's all in Japanese, but I can provide some crappy machine translations to no doubt elucidate the action-packed dialogue!

"Today, every one of them..."

Oh. Guess I shouldn't have just kind of took a random screenshot in the middle of nowhere. Well, uhh...I'll ad-lib. Today, everyone is apparently milling about whatever Sailor Moon's hometown was. Serena was being a git and verbally harassing everyone she found on the street. That kind of accurately described the first phase of gameplay in this game: an 'adventure' where you have to talk to the right person, then talk to someone else, etc. until the game decides that surprise! You found the area's boss! (My apologies to the script writers here for my clear bypassing of their hard work.)

why hello there fellow school girl, let us talk about boys and how hard maths are

I get some bad vibes of two sorts: One, adventure games where you just try things randomly until you click the right thing and the game decides to let you progress; and Two, Mario is Missing. An odd marriage, especially considering the random boring mini-games they sprinkle in here and there, like matching cards, guessing if the next card will be higher or lower than the current card, and of course the staple of youth fun, sliding puzzles.

At least Final Fantasy gave you money for completing these dumb things....

Well, luckily the game isn't just mingling. There's a platforming phase where you use magical powers to jump, shoot foes, and do battle with evildoers from the Sailor Moon universe! Though I really don't recall any of these enemies since I never watched this season of the show, so I can't speak to their accuracy to the source material. The platforming is accurate for girls wearing high heels, though. These jumps're so stiff, you can mount 'em on a ladder and do high dives offa them.

I can only assume these are the Japanese temple versions of Jehovah's witnesses

The bosses are unsurprisingly dull! Pretty much the only cool thing about them is their animations, which are alright and fairly fluid. Combat is summed up as ‘spam the attack button and don't even try to dodge, because who cares?’ You have more health than every boss in the game. Which is a good thing, ‘cos it's not like you can actually move around and dodge anything anyway.

Ahh yes, the handstand of dominance. A most impressive display for an inter-dimensional being bent on destruction!

So after thumb-wrestling a boss, you get kicked back into story mode. It shifts the scout you play as, but who cares, they all blabber to randos on the street. Come on, just let me fight things! This sucks! While the best aspect of the street-roaming phase that gets changed up is the road layout, later platforming levels get a little cute with their traps and enemies. Still, though, it's all stupidly easy and kinda boring. Except that one time Sailor Mercury was dodging spike mace balls in a sea of scaffolding. Dang, I liked that episode of the show!

Why can't they ever have spiky cubes? Why always balls? C'mon devs, get creative!

Also, I feel the need to point out that the background artists definitely got paid more than the foreground artists. There is so little effort put into the foreground, you may as well be playing an old Game Boy g...oh. Right.

Mmyep, this sure looks like release material and not placeholders during development.

The story starts getting kooky near the end, at least from what my illiterate self can tell. Your first foes are some David Bowie wannabes. Next, a cloaked fortune teller pops in to ruin your self esteem and flash their $40 glass orb (as they do). Eventually, you meet the REAL enemy pulling the strings. It's...a planet? I think? A planet with a dirt lip and a mohawk. Sure. That's fine, I don't see anything that could go wrong with that.

"...my life is Wiseman. This is my heart." Yeah no, I don't think you should have put 'Organ Donor' on your driver's license then, buddy

"Moon Crystal Power!" The faces are definitely part of the power summoning rite. I get a similar look from my wife when I take the last ice cream bar from the freezer

The ending was lackluster, really. I mean, don't get me wrong, the character portraits were pretty good, but you don't get many more unique ones in the final cutscene. But hey, at least you can use the existing ones to redo some popular internet memes.

Overall, not really that great. It was pretty disappointing, but I mean, that's kind of spot-on for all of my revisits to fond childhood memories. So what I've learned from this date is that holy moly did I have terrible taste as a kid! While my younger self might have sprung for it, I ain't going on a date with this one again. Nopes all around! But at least I found a baller Sprite of Passage from one of the lame mini games! Have it as a reminder to never revisit your childhood. Keep that past rosy!

do you have burials at sea for sailor scouts?