#i just think this is significantly funnier

[mugentakeda]

i need everyone to stop saying daniel was rooting for loustat the whole time just cus he revealed that armand took credit for saving louis. daniel doesnt like loustat either. hes actually just a louis du lac solo stan. an akgae if you will. that was his only motivation here dont get it twisted

[aevris]

for all none of you who care about my magnus archives AU for my OCs. it’s set in canada and im enjoying spitballing ideas to myself.

[gravitywonagain]

how is there not a d.e.b.s. au in this fandom yet? is there a d.e.b.s. au? will somebody please send it to me if there is? it’s perfect. it’s wacky gay hero/villain hijinks. it is a crack fic. it should get to be a wangxian crack fic, too

[aromanticannibal]

(i started watching bnha again) i hope bkg doesnt come back to life. funnier that way.

listen at this point I wouldn't even be mad if he stays dead as long as it's actually well done

[nyaagolor]

I understand why people think Manfred would be bigoted but honestly I think it would be significantly funnier if he just. Wasn’t. Someone calls him homophobic in court and he’s immediately like “I?? The great prosecutor Von Karma, blinded by the biases of lesser men? I fight only for justice and the holy fire of retribution, how dare you insinuate that I am beholden to the fallacies of the wretched” and everyone immediately tunes out his self-aggrandizement bc they’re just flabbergasted by von karma supporting gay rights

[thinking-emoji]

Ok contrary to my expectations I actually found the Today Show interview interesting for, like, a couple of reasons???

1. Other people have said this but the interviewer opening with "together for 15 years, how do you make it work", and Dan going through the turtle metaphor and then, with the widest grin, saying "professional relationship" - was SUCH a refreshing moment imo bc it didn't feel awkward at all!!! It's such a fun middle ground - giving the fans what they want (tortoises), giving the interviewers what they want (an answer), giving himself what he wants (control of the narrative and focus on the professional aspect), giving me, sophia thinking-emoji, what I want (feeling like I'm in on a joke) thank FUCK they've gotten good at media now after 15 years.

2. What Phil said about everyone being aware of internet content and professional content creators now. That's the one thing I noticed from the start. There was a post going around here earlier about phannies interviewing them vs non-phannies, and it was kind of based on those old interviews when journalists would ask "well what does a youtuber even do", and generally being disrespectful because they either didn't understand or felt threatened by new media - and I think that is pretty much gone now. Of course the tv presenters on Australia Today Extra know who dnp are and what they've done over the years. Not knowing that would be embarrassing! We're not wasting our time with the very basics anymore. You're allowed to just say hi and promote your show without having to justify your entire career now. Finally

3. The interviewer repeatedly trying to get more speaking time from phil, and dan ALWAYS rushing in to help phil wrap his answers up - and then at the end, Phil claiming that he "yaps too much" for tiktok. That's so fucking funny bc it looks like he's just blatantly ignorant of how he comes across as the guy who talks significantly less, but it's even funnier if you realise that it's probably true? If you leave Phil alone with a camera, I think he would talk for 10 hours but occasionally sit in silence for 20 seconds at a time, and that's why dan has to step in with these fast-paced interviews before phil can think of an answer of his own. We pretend they're one person but I find it fascinating how you can see their different approaches to communication in these interviews

4. Elise posting this on bluesky of all places unironically makes me happy. I'm still not on there but it feels like a small victory over elon musk specifically lmao. I hope more twitter phannies move and then in a few months we can completely replace twitter as a source, at least within our small fandom space

Edit. 5. I knew I had forgotten something over the 20 minutes of writing this and it's of course them willingly, openly and unprompted talking about being queer and having a queer audience on a show that is not decidedly queer! It's one thing to talk to Attitude mag or to a phannie about identifying as a twink and a third or so of your audience being trans, but honestly saying this on The morning show on national tv hits, dare I say it, different

[twst-drabbles]

Lilia and Malleus 2

Summary: All that effort to send you back to the right timeline, only to be placed a few days right after Malleus was born. Well, at least you still have your neat tree house. And now you're watching his little dragon doing weird dragon things.

(Who doesn't like to think about a chubby dragon Malleus skittering across the floor the best way a dragon can? It's cute.)

There was the sound of clawed scurrying on the floor. A small, chubby, black-scaled dragon ran across the room, or at least was attempting to. Wood floors don't exactly give him much traction, but boy was he trying. Piercing green eyes were trained on you, filled with that same kind of focused curiosity you've seen in babies that don't have much brain space for many things beyond what's in front of them. Didn't help that his pupils were wide, so clearly something about you flooded his brain.

You should probably scoop him up, but honestly, it's way funnier just to let him scurry. The struggle was endearing and you couldn't help but snort as he tried so hard to get to you faster.

"Can't even use flying magic yet." It's a little weird to think that there was a time Malleus didn't know a thing about magic. The most he could do at the moment was that reckless casting whenever he's having a tantrum, but that's about the most of it. Flying was a little more complicated, not all that difficult by all means, but very much out of the realm of possibility for a literal baby.

Finally, his little claws reached you. He attempted to scale up your legs, but was too young and too chubby, he slide right down and landed flat on his butt. His eyes were still wide and tilted his head as he stared at your face. The newborn dragon was practically sparkling in the morning sun.

"Do you really find the sight of a human, fascinating?" Lilia pushed the beaded curtain to the side as he walked in, "I suppose that's understandable, being surrounded by faeries since birth. Though, if I remember right, did you used to read to him when he was but an egg? Perhaps Malleus recognizes you. Wouldn't that be sweet?"

You carefully sat on the floor, guiding the little baby dragon's feet onto the ground so he doesn't stumble. "Would be, though I doubt it." Immediately, Malleus stood up as tall as he could, stretching himself up so his small face would be level with yours. You blinked, then blew a sharp breath aimed at his nose. He fell back as if you flicked him and landed on a soft carpet.

"Ah, are you okay?" This fussy version of Lilia is one you're familiar with, but not with the current appearance that he has. He still has his long hair, his eyes still sharp and a bit paranoid, but he has significantly mellowed out in the time you were gone.

Ha… all that work to send you back to your timeline, only for the magic to plop you right after Malleus was born… many, many, many years later.

Malleus shook off Lilia's hand and stood right back up. He's glaring at you as bratty kids do and all you could do was grin.

"Nice to see you've been born safely, Hornton."

[maxknightley]

Which Touhou Girls Can You Plausibly Read As Butch? A Comprehensive Overview

Earlier on Tumblr I saw a post complaining that someone called Hecatia Lapislazuli from Touhou Project butch. This is Hecatia Lapislazuli:

Obviously, like most Touhou characters, she is in fact quite feminine - she just shops at Hell Hot Topic. But it got me thinking: In a series like Touhou, with a cast overwhelmingly defined by feminine (if rowdy) ladies, how many characters could you say are 'butch' without sounding like a complete doofus or significantly redesigning them to fit your headcanon?

CRITERIA

I'll be using four main criteria to judge characters' butchness. In real life, of course, butchness is a multivalent and extremely personal thing, but I'm talking about funny cartoon women from a video game here, so I'm willing to be a little reductive.

These criteria, in order of descending importance, are:

FASHION. In a series where goddamn near everyone is in either a dress or a skirt, the mere act of Wearing A Dress Shirt can be enough to make a powerful statement. Hats may also play a role here, given how many Touhou characters have gay little hats.

HAIRSTYLE. Short hair is not the be-all and end-all of butchness. I, myself, am Decidedly Butch even though I've been growing out my hair since college. But the length and styling of the hair are still a valuable indicator of how someone thinks of themself and wants to be seen.

'TUDE. Could this character be accurately described as "kind of a frat boy?" How do they speak to others? Do they just kind of seem like a character who ought to be butch, regardless of their looks? Do they even lift?

COMEDY FACTOR. Self-explanatory. This will probably only come into play if I run into a weird edge case.

I'll also emphasize that we're grading on a curve here - butchness is being assessed relative to the characters who do not appear on this list. Nobody in this series has a buzzcut, you know what I mean?

THE TIER LIST

AS CLOSE TO CANON AS WE'LL GET

Fujiwara no Mokou. The girl wears a dress shirt, fucking suspenders, and trousers. Not shorts, actual full-length pants. She's also in a perpetual love-hate mutual-murder situationship with Princess Kaguya, who is femme as all fuck. Obviously you don't have to be butch to date a femme - I'm just saying it feels Fitting given their whole deal.

Yuugi Hoshiguma. Most of the time, her fashion sense is actually quite feminine - but her look in the most recent chapter of Cheating Detective Satori, with the one exposed shoulder and the sarashi and all that, significantly alters the balance. Her hair actually reads as more masc to me when she keeps it long and unruly - when she puts it up in a ponytail, she ends up looking very kempt, even elegant. The deciding factor here is 'Tude: Her sheer levels of butch swag are off the fucking charts. (Still, I wouldn't blame someone for arguing she should be knocked down a tier - especially since I'd argue the Comedy Factor works in reverse here. She's way funnier if she doesn't think of herself as butch in the slightest.)

Minamitsu Murasa. In his original appearance I'd argue that Murasa is in "Reasonable" tier - maybe even as low as "Kind of a Stretch." But her big gay Jotaro jacket in Sunken Fossil World, combined with the emphasis on the weightiness and solidity of his trademark anchor, put her over the top. One of the only Touhou girls I consider worthy of being He/Himmed.

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna. The other He/Him-worthy Touhou girl. Very short, slightly messy hair; wears a kimono, not a dress; inheritor of Issun-Boshi's legacy; wears fucking dinnerware as a hat. Why do you want to be Big so badly, huh? So you can pick up women more easily? So you can carry your awful wife through the upside-down threshold of your upside-down bedroom?

Raiko Horikawa. For the longest time I thought her skirt was a pair of shorts because I straight up could not parse it as anything else. Even now I'm like "that can't possibly be a skirt, ZUN just drew it weird. She has to be wearing a full two-piece suit." Skirt aside, her jacket/dress shirt/necktie are still undeniable, as is her short hair. Also, she is a taiko drum given life, and I feel like taiko and timpanis are naturally butch. Maybe if she was a tambourine or a set of bongos I'd rank her lower?

Momoyo Himemushi. Rough-talking miner. Wears a dress shirt, leaves the top button(?) undone. Tromps around a big weird cave with no shoes or socks on. Wears bows and bangles basically everywhere but in her messy, tangled hair. Also, maybe I'm stereotyping here, but I just can't picture a centipede as being femme.

REASONABLE

Wriggle Nightbug. The dress shirt, cape, and puffy shorts all paint a vivid picture, but I just feel like I don't have a strong enough opinion on Wriggle as a character to put her in the top tier. In other words, she's got plenty of points for Fashion and quite a few for Hairstyle, but I just don't think the 'Tude is sufficient for me.

Reisen Udongein Inaba. The skirts are a strike against her, but her whole "dress shirt + necktie + sometimes suit jacket" thing makes a big difference, especially given that we're grading on a curve. Her rumpled ears and (particularly in Inaba of the Moon, Inaba of the Earth) pathetic demeanor go a long way towards giving her a vibe somewhere between "overworked salaryman" and "Detective Columbo."

Aya Shameimaru. All you need to know about Aya is that her "human reporter" disguise looks like This:

Mononobe no Futo. Butch, but in a really weird, circuitous way, imo. Like. She's sort of wearing a dress, but it's sort of a robe - the contrast of the hemline with her big flowy sleeves makes it hard to pin down - and her outfit quite notably has tassels rather than any kind of frills. I don't know what the hell is up with her hat but it's definitely not femme by any stretch of the imagination. Then thou hast the wayes in which she speaketh all "faux-olde-timey," even though nobody else in the setting does that... she transferred her soul into a plate, but she also throws plates around as weapons... It's like she's constantly putting on a performance that only she truly understands. It's like she reverse-engineered "masculine womanhood" by hanging out with a bunch of queens and doing kind of the same thing but kind of the inverse. The more I think about Futo the more I think she's entirely on her own wavelength, but I think "Reasonable" tier is a... uh, reasonable... approximation for the sake of this post.

Sagume Kishin. She dresses like if Bill Nye were a woman, and I think that cuts to the heart of it - she reminds me of a professor who you're not ever sure is gay, but you kind of pick up on a vibe, and near the end of the semester she offhandedly refers to "her partner" and you're like HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT. I went back and forth between putting her in "Reasonable" and "Kind of a Stretch"; ultimately, the Comedy Factor decided it because I couldn't stop thinking about a scenario where she says she's a woman, accidentally upends her whole understanding of gender in the process, and ends up taking testosterone while still ID'ing as a lesbian. I don't actually know if her powers would work that way and I don't care.

KIND OF A STRETCH

Eiki Shiki. I don't have a lot to go on, here, because she hasn't had many official appearances and seems to spend most of her time lecturing people or tormenting sinners. Her uniform(?)/apothecary outfit(??) is pretty snazzy; combined with the hat, it gives her a vaguely "military officer" look to me. We'll call her "butch pending further investigation," which I think she would agree is the correct course of action.

Sekibanki. She's here partially because of the cape, and partially because being sandwiched between Wakasagihime and Kagerou makes her look way more masc by contrast. I know what I said.

Ringo. It's pretty much just the hat and the pants, though - as a butch woman who Loves Eating - I am also inclined to project my own experiences onto her.

Aunn Komano. She reads as more "tomboyish" than outright "butch" to me, what with her whole puppy-dog vibe, but at the same time... she's very much wearing shorts and the kind of goofy-looking button-up shirt that is central to my own wardrobe and the wardrobe of other butches in my life. I'm willing to count her.

Takane Yamashiro. A living testament to the power of small character design choices. I would never in a million years call Nitori butch, even with her gay little hat and all the pouches on her outfit - she just looks like a girl scout. Takane, though? Takane, with her little hair swoopy, and the fucking suitcase slung over her back, and her camo-print dress? I mean - ultimately it is still a dress, which is why I can't justify scoring her higher, but she's definitely chewing tobacco and riding around on an ATV on weekends.

Chiyari Tenkaijin. If she's butch, it's not really because she's trying to be butch, it's just because being femme seems too expensive and time-consuming. She's got better things to do (drink blood all day). Still, I think an argument could be made.

DEFINITELY A STRETCH, BUT I RESPECT IT

Renko Usami. ZUN is kind of inconsistent with how he draws her hat - sometimes it's more of a porkpie/fedora type thing, other times it's round-topped and looks a bit like Koishi's hat. To me, this is a crucial distinction. In a more general sense, I feel like Renko's outfit gets a little less plausibly-masc with each passing album, which says a lot about our society. Or her society, anyway, since she lives in the future. Still, the capelets and bowties...

Rinnosuke Morichika. I think it would be really funny if the only significant male character in Touhou wasn't actually even a dude. I'm not aware of any real textual support for this interpretation, though.

Shou Toramaru. Pretty much only on here because of the hair and because I think there's a certain je ne sais quoi to her whole deal of "she's not a real tiger, she's the idea of a tiger that pre-Meiji Japanese people came up with from secondhand accounts."

Seija Kijin. Not even remotely butch by any stretch of the imagination... But if she did consider herself butch, isn't that exactly what she'd want you to think?

POTENTIALLY NOTEWORTHY EXCLUSIONS

Cirno. "Tomboyish" is not the same thing as "butch," to me, especially if you exclusively wear dresses. Also, I'm not sure Cirno even knows what a lesbian is.

Saki Kurokoma. Not actually butch, just a horse girl. (And a horsegirl.)

Mike Goutokuji. Can't tell if she's wearing a skirt or shorts. She's got short hair, sure, but the whole "matching bell collar and wristbands that also have bells attached" thing makes her look more like a Very Online Trans Woman who just figured herself out and hasn't started hormones or bought any new clothes yet.

[tryingahandinholdingapen]

thinking about the "consensual but not safe or sane tag" but like. what if instead of referring to sex it was referring to Tobirama's dubiously ethical science?

Imagining a fic/universe in which Tobirama is actually pretty well liked by his clan because he invents so much cool stuff they can then use (seals, jutsu including healing jutsu, knowledge, miscellaneous inventions) but you know, Tobirama needs to test things out sometimes. Theory is all well and good but ideally you don't want to be testing something for the very first time when you actually NEED it to work. But the ethics are. Dubious

Like he'll make sure he's certain of the theory before he does anything, and if applicable he will try to test it on mice or something before leaping to human testing. But if animal testing would be difficult/impossible for a particular invention (including diagnostic or healing jutsu, and some combat jutsu) he WILL just jump straight to human testing. Also sometimes "certain of the theory" means "I am certain one of two things will happen here, one of which is the desired result and the other...Isn't."

When talking human experimentation he prefers his subjects to be allies if possible. This is partly because of Hashirama (he assumes Tobirama wouldn't do anything too unethical/harmful to their allies, which may or may not be a flawed assumption but so far hasn't been an issue) but mostly because Tobirama is like. Well. One of the main advantages of testing something on humans is that they can give me coherent feedback on exactly what they experienced/felt/etc,but if the human in question is a prisoner or captured enemy they'll probably just fucking lie to me about it and that would impede further research quite significantly. Nah. Best stick to allies as test subjects

I want to say this is a universe in which a) because naruto-verse is so anachronistic and what people know is further complicated by jutsu vs technology vs keeping secrets, Tobirama's first step in helping the Senju clan develop the more complex healing jutsu was "figure out anatomy"; AND b) rumours abound about Senju Tobirama being an evil mad scientist who aims to steal bloodline limits and experiments on prisoners and there's always screaming coming from his lab... most people either fully believe this or are like "I'm sure he doesn't do any unethical experiments or test anything on humans or hurt anyone at all ever (except in battle/missions)" both of which are, of course, wrong. Just, in opposite directions

Anyway

Scenario in which an insignificant Senju is captured by another clan (Uchiha? or would it be funnier for them to learn secondhand?) and one of the first things the captors are discussing is after stripping them of weapons etc and possibly changing their clothes (look its pretty standard practice to have ninja wire, senbon, etc hidden in your clothes, it's a BAD IDEA to leave a prisoner in the clothing they had prior to capture) is "hey what the hell are these scars about?? were they tortured before or something??"

(okay pronouns are getting confusing with using plural they for captors+singular for prisoner+he for Tobirama so I'm deciding the prisoner uses she/her for sake of easy comprehension with pronouns for now)

And so at some point they question the prisoner and she's p out of it (concussion and or drugs and or shock and or genjutsu so she answers p easily she's like "which scars?"

and whoever is leading the questioning goes, "well, for starters, these scars here. when were you tortured and who by? how did you escape? (subtext: is this smth we need to be aware of/take into account and also how do we stop you escaping us the same way?)"

and she pauses a moment because what "I've never been tortured?? this is also the first time I've been captured. embarrassing really. normally people just try to kill me s'not like I'm important"

and the leader goes "..okay. how did you get these scars then?" whilst another of their group talks over them to say "wtf do you MEAN you've never been tortured it looks like someone cut you apart!"

and she goes "lab day :)"

and the leader takes a hint from the interruptor's wild gesturing to press "...how does a 'lab day' entail being cut apart?"

and she, alarmingly casually given shes talking about her own insides, clarifies "well, anatomy studies. duh. hard to study the insides of a person when the outsides are in the way, yknow?"

alarmed silence

"just cut...there, and there", jerking her chin towards two horizontal scars on one arm, "line between them..." there is indeed another scar connecting them, like a poorly proportioned H, "..and then pull the skin back to see underneath."

more horrified silence

"like flaps! or the pages of a book!" she continues (un)helpfully, "and then you draw out what you see under the skin, ideally with annotations and stuff. we've got some pretty good charts now"

"...and you say you've never been tortured before."

"nope!"

"and you don't classify that as torture because..?"

she's all blank confusion

"torture is damage or genjutsu or emotional pain inflicted by an enemy with the intention of extracting information and/or causing a victim to suffer," she reels off by rote. "that, another jerk of chin towards the scars in question, "was none of those?"

"...right."

"well I guess technically it was an attempt to extract information, yknow, the information being 'what does the inner arm look like in this spot', but if that alone classified it as torture then every conversation and observation would also be classified as torture, so..." she's still really out of it and getting distracted

"..of course. so your captor wasn't intending for you to suffer, even though you still have scars even now?"

"I mean, this was like. five months ago. I scar real easily but I also heal pretty well so those ones should be almost invisible in maybe three years?" she frowns belatedly processing "hey! captor's a bit harsh. I only had any restraints at all because I get real fidgety real quick and I kept moving too much when I tried to see what was happening. not a good idea to move around when someone's got their hands in your insides. my cousin is way better at staying still and still seeing what's going on, lucky bitch, so doesn't have to deal with restraints at all"

"you were conscious when this happened."

"yeah?"

"surely if they didn't want you to suffer the easiest option would have been to just knock you out until you had recovered from the.. injury. keeping you awake and not suffering, as you insist you werent, seems far more complicated"

she's kind of confused by this "well, yeah it was sort of complicated to figure out and implement and stuff but if I wasn't aware that wouldn't be nearly as useful?"

"...what"

"well. in this PARTICULAR case I guess it didn't really matter but USUALLY on lab days being aware is helpful. tobirama-sama says one of the top reasons to use human subjects is you can actually get active feedback on how they're affected since they can just tell you"

one of the interrogators, somewhat further from her and (mistakenly) too loudly not to be heard "god fucking DAMNIT I thought those rumours were exaggerated"

[lifesteal-headcanons]

I love how in some interpretations Clown is like an Actual Demon or just some kind of Concept that spawned in on the basis of belief but I think its significantly funnier if that's just the most normal man on the server. Everybody else gets to be some kind of Creature and Clown is just a guy who likes a theme and it's so funny to me

.

[muzsmocsing]

Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts

I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.

🤍 Xie Lian 🤍

It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.

So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.

Rating: 10/10

❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️

Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.

"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"

Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.

Rating: 9/10

(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)

🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.

Rating: 7/10

🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵

I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.

He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.

And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.

Rating: 20/10

🖤 Ming Yi 🖤

Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.

Rating: 4/10

💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙

Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.

Rating: 6/10

💚 Qi Rong 💚

He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.

Rating: 7/10

🌚 Jun Wu 🌚

He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.

Rating: 2/10

���Pei Ming🔥

I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.

I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)

Rating: 7/10

❓Pei Xiu❓

Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.

I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.

Rating: 1/10

📚 Ling Wen 📚

I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.

Rating: 8/10

Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!

[shigayokagayama]

incomplete list of weird/interesting manga-anime discrepancies

-you know the bit where they break into the girls highschool in episode 2? yea thats chapter 56. spliced into the middle of chapter 4. its supposed to go before the bit with the ghost family as a lead up to the mogami arc with mob starting to consider evil spirits as just as much “people” as living humans are. all things considered its kind of weird how well it fits its anime placement

-ritsu in the manga gets introduced in the same chapter as teru. you dont see mobs family at all for the first few chapters. infact i dont think his parents appear until like. chapter 25????? every interaction you see between mob and any of his family is completely made up for the anime

-in the manga during the claw arc instead of reigen sending them away all the lackeys just stood there awkwardly during the fight w the scars fdnjksndkjgnd

-mogami arc got GUTTED my god. the part where the fake psychics tried to murder minori got removed, shinras role in the arc got reduced to basically nothing, they move mogamiland ritsu to a bridge like 50 feet away instead of having him walk right over mob, mob only gets beat up like twice, the cat lives, the boxcutter bit is totally removed, the fight with the spirits is made a lot more abstract and less graphic. like im glad this one took the hit instead of the separation arc bc i cant imagine that arc ever being effective as one episode but wow.

-putting the “mob finding his family dead” thing at the end of the episode instead of in the middle of a chapter where it originally was was an objectively hilarious move

-rip the scene of teru outsmarting all three claw guys and saying “say old man have you ever been tortured before” unfortunately all scenes of teru being competent are not plot relevant and must die. also teru can make shadow clones

-hey remember those weird satellite people in claw keeping the viewer updated on where all the characters were in that infinite arc?

-mob with a gun.

-mob getting briefly knocked out while fighting toichiro and dimple possessing him then getting kicked out was replaced w toichiro just throwing him out the window or somethhing???

-toichiro saying that he only kept the super five around as spare batteries and draining serizawas power getting cut was a personal affront to me

-every single emotion mob cycled through in the anime got a 100% meter. the kid was super emotionally unstable in that fight

-that old man whos house they went to whos wraith made everyone asleep that they exorcised? yea they anime team made that up. they never went to his house in the manga, he just went to spirits and such for a shoulder massage

-manga reigen got 0 money for helping the yokai dude. it wasnt on the table. also most of the stuff he was saying was lifted from a video game serizawa played which he pointed out. also serizawa thought getting arrested was a type of spell

-takenakas general meanness was significantly toned down manga takenaka was a huge bitch

-in general the alien arc was a lot funnier in the manga? like the scene where reigen crashes they had reached a dead end on an extremely narrow path and were driving in reverse while tome and takenaka were screaming at each other in the back and inukawa was 5 seconds from snapping and killing everyone in the car. these might be my favorite pages in the entire manga they as so fucking funny

-originally when tome said she wouldnt keep climbing reigen suggested mob carry her with telekinesis (which horrified her) and mob said he was too motion sick to use his powers (obvious lie) but could carry her instead which got her to get up

-mezato asking mob to sign a t shirt for the psycho helmet cult in exchange for relationship advice got cut

-i cry every day that the sequence of ???% waking up didnt get animated it set a very different tone than the anime did. the anime was like. slow build up of dread. the manga was immediately bone deep horror i was literally sitting in my room yelling “WHAT???” over and over again at my computer as i clicked through it

-shigeo and mob conversation cut down significantly, all the references to the body improvement club being mob making a new self rather than embracing who he really is and being scared that all the friends hes made wouldnt like the real him removed </3

-the scene where reigen takes his shoes off is made a lot less somber and depressing. it feels less like “oh he knows hes going to die” and more like. triumphant? in the anime

-100% shigeo kageyama is an anime addition they added specifically to ruin my “the first time we see mob 100% is to fight dimple and the last time is to stop himself from fighting dimple” observation

-anime teru generally seems like hes in a better place than manga teru? manga teru seems very melancholy and like he doesn’t really know what to do with his life or his place in the world (which seems to put shigeo off) but anime teru is like wanna go shopping ^_^ *sips tea happily*

-manga shigeo deliberately threw the cake directly in reigens face and my fury over them making this ambiguous will last until i am dead

[postoctobrist]

How long do you have to keep telling yourself "this blanket statement about my group doesn't apply to me because EYE don't do that" before it becomes automatic? I think I'm overly anxious or whatever, but SURELY I'm not doing all that stuff I've not even heard about. Does it make sense?

you just live more and it becomes so obviously and undeniably out of step with your own experience that you stop worrying about it so much. it also becomes significantly funnier, in my experience

[ghulah]

Papa Emeritus, Terzo and the weight of the Mitre.

Due to popular demand, here is my Terzo analysis. It has been significantly cut down(if you do want the uncut analysis, here) because most of it was bullet points and unhinged notes I made. To be completely transparent, this was inspired by @cityofmeliora's own Terzo analysis post as well as several other analyses which I will be linking (also some headcanon stuff the wifecule had cooked up together lol).

These are all the posts (1 2 3 4 5 ) I used as resources and this compilation of Ghost interviews, as well as the Metal Myths part 2, because that's sort of required viewing at this point, isn't it?

I'll be splitting this analysis up into sections, first are brief descriptions and explanations of my understanding of the different aspects of Terzo - as Papa, as a Cardinal and as himself.

As for my sources, I won't be inserting the direct quotes here(because this post would be the longest ever) and they are all available in the aforementioned links.

Anyway, onwards, Ghesties!

First of all, What is Papa?

This is in reference to Papa, the entity, the image - not the person. Papa is a character, he's a mask, he's a façade. He is an image and an idea and the face of the Clergy. He is everything and he is above all yet he is not. According to mister Ghost-man himself, he is a stereotype, he is someone you know from somewhere and often than not he's old, charismatic, maybe a little bit bitter. He is sort of nebulous, he is a concept.

All whom take up the mantle, the Mitre, live up to this to a certain degree, it's part of the job! It also might be part of the bloodline, but y'know.

In that case, who is Papa Emeritus III?

The character of Papa III, the performer, the leader, the one to show us the way. Papa III is the face of the Ministry, he is a showman, a diva who is perfect for the role of the Satanic Pope who is not only theatrical, but also charismatic and fun and ambitious! He is artistic and outspoken. He knows what he's doing, he loves having a good time - drinks, partying, sex! He encourages it, as long as everyone is safe. He wants to bring about a new age, something to thrive. He will lead us all to damnation!

Papa III cares for his people, he makes sure they are safe and sound even in the midst of the chaos of the Rituals. He is, after all, the messenger that leads the audience through the hero's journey - a guide.

Cardinal Terzo

Let me be clear, this is all derived from Bishop Necropolitus Cracoviensis (who is representative of the album artist Zbigniew Biela) testimonial on Terzo when they were buddies back in Poland.

Cardinal Terzo was a slutty slutty, party man with a revolution in mind. He actually had a lot of visions and ideas to keep the Ministry going and modernizing it. He seemed super, well, locked in. He also likes Futurism, which aligns with his Art Deco and German Expressionism in his box of early 20th century art movements. He saw a future and he wanted to bring it to life, he held the same sins as his brother, Vice, Lust, Greed - but he had Ambition (credit to user cityofmeliora for this epiphany). That's what set it all off. Cardinal Terzo had that joie de vivre.

But who is Terzo?

Terzo Emeritus is a man of many pleasures - it's just those pleasures don't often involve people. He likes early 20th century fashion, he likes early 20th century art movements, he likes theater, he participates in it. He does have a pleasant personality, perfectly charming and joyful and teasing - but, he's not 'on' all the time. Or rather, he might not genuinely feel that way unless something or someone actually interests him. He might not be as slutty as everyone thinks he is. He moves like a fucking cryptid when he isn't performing, which is even funnier considering how open he seems to act. He wanted to do so much as Papa, he cared a lot. He had so many ideas, he wanted to take care of his flock and wanted to spread his ideas and cement the Ministry as a real power by opposing all those mindsets that keep holding society back. He was a revolutionary taken out too soon for another agenda at play, which is his true tragedy.

If anything, his charming Papa persona is what draws people in - but it's untouchable, because it's an idea, a face he puts on. Terzo is most likely the mellow, a toned down version of that face. Secondo influenced him, not enough for him to be exactly like him, though, so.

On a very real level - he's sort of like that 'when your circle small but y'all are crazy' meme. He has only a few people who are truly close to him and know what he wants and who he is while everyone else is on the outside looking in. He seems to keep people at bay, even the ones he approaches first. It's the people who either stick around and play along long enough to catch all his little ticks or the ones who saw through it all in the first place who get close to him.

That self hatred and hatred of everyone came a little later, when everything started to not fit into place anymore. He had restrictions on him, he couldn't bring his vision to life - he began to resent that idea. He knew that he was expendable, it was inevitable that he would be gone soon. He was still Papa, he cared, he wanted better for the Ministry. But it was, to a point, all for nothing if he was going to be stifled.

Ambition and hubris being his downfall is just a repetition of every Greek Tragedy we've been told. And much like the Bringer of Light, Terzo was brought down to Hell. Thanks Sister Imperator.

Sorry if some of this sounds a bit silly, it is quite self indulgent and made when I was sleep deprived. But also, I love character analysis and I love Ghost so!

Bonus tidbit: All that talk of separate travel made me think that Terzo might like sightseeing as a fun headcanon. So in my mind he might have a film camera stashed somewhere to take with him. It fits with the idea that he is quite a recluse and takes time to himself, he doesn't need to socialize to go out and see things and take pictures. Of course this is also extrapolated from his nerdy film and art interests. (this part was inspired by a convo with @3hroo)

[oswaldthatendswald]

Despite my love of the canon tragedy, I do think that any AU where Rocinante survives is significantly funnier than canon-- especially if he joins the Heart Pirates. Because Rocinante has such absurd main character energy. They had to kill him off for his own good. His dad's the Fleet Admiral. His brother is a Warlord and also acquired the throne of Dressrosa under dubious circumstances. He was a Marine commander and the second in command of an infamous pirate crew-- at the same time! He has a secret tragic backstory that would almost certainly ruin him if it were widely known. This little shit is the most interesting man alive and the comedy potential of him just. Existing. Is incredible.

Imagine, like, the Heart Pirates early in their career. Before Law hits his growth spurt. They're trying to menace some random pirate crew and everyone's like "okay, right, the guy who's nine feet tall and capable of projecting an aura of grim murder is definitely the boss here" and Rocinante has to be like "oh, no, you should be much more concerned about the scrawny seventeen year old".

[ninjapotatohead]

Lol, Sheeptits McGee is just as good as Sally Sheeples. XD I've only nicknamed her that due to as to who the former Archie writers are clearly trying to emulate with her bossy to short-sighted dipshittery. But you, nah you just go for the jugular because of her big boobs. Respect B)

Yeah, throughout all the social media posts and tangents defending (read: "white-knighting") her that all sound like the insane ramblings of a madman, the only consistent thread connecting them all is that they tend to be from Rule 34 artists/creators and other NSFW accounts praising her for - what else? - her prominent bust size and tyrannical bitchiness.

And, I've said this before, but it bears repeating, they always bemoan her detractors with some variation of "... But we NEEEEED more bitchy queens because Sonic's NEVER done rude characters before, and we've NEVER gotten a character like dommy-mommy sheep girl before!"

... y'know, if we ignore that

A) Silver had his backbone completely removed, even though he himself was, in fact, kind of an asshole in the games.

and B) Wave is literally RIGHT THERE!

And I always bring her up specifically because she's literally Lanolin's character archetype but significantly better-written. Not only is she just as rude and catty as Lanolin (supposedly) is, but Wave at least has the competence and years of experience to back it up. Wave doesn't just talk the talk, she's more than capable of walking the walk; she's every bit as intelligent as she claims.

Also helps that Wave is... y'know, a rival character? She serves as the foil for Tails (as do the rest of the Babylon Rogues for the other two members of Team Sonic). Even despite this (as @beevean pointed out previously), it's still believable that her and the other two rogues are still friends, or at least have some degree of mutual respect for the other.

Sheep-Tits McGee, on the other hand, doesn't even have that going for her. She's little more than a rookie who was put into a leadership position (that she did nothing to earn) and does little more than bully literal war veterans into submission just to feel better about herself.

It's even funnier when you consider that the Eggperial City arc has shown multiple times that the conflict resolves itself when the others DON'T follow her orders, because all she does is make matters worse.

Of course, none of that matters because her more ardent fans defend her and ignore any and all criticism of her. They just think her YouTuber Apology™ is enough to absolve her for no other reason than...

Which, unsurprisingly, has earned her the moniker I continue to give her.