#i just think there are more interesting characters to explore ehehehe

[asteria7fics]

a clyde.... hater? I need to know how one becomes a clyde hater/silly also, new blog theme (kinda sorta)??? ion remember your pfp and header to look like this last time I came to your page (like 3 days ago)

-😨

Yeah you heard me. Fuck that kid.

In all seriousness he's fine, I just don't feel terribly inspired by him, and frankly he seems like kind of a douchebag to me. Stupid, crybaby bitch that got his mom killed. What a LOOOOSER (ง •̀_•́)ง

Okay okay I'm done eehehehe

Aaah you noticed the rebrand!! I decided it was time to lean back into my EWILY roots, at least a little. What can I say, I missed it!! (˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

[extralively]

Before I get to reading Shibuya arc… I'm terrified btw. You have two chapters up for it already… How??? 😭 You're so fast…

I don't know if I mentioned this in a review before, but I really really love the way you designed the Gojo family in UtCos. My favorite is that Satoru's uncle was the one in charge of the Gojo clan before Satoru was born. And had Satoru not inherited the prized Six Eyes and the Limitless technique, the seat of power would have gone to his cousin.

It adds tension, I should say. I was reminded of this as I was rereading chapter 45 and then the previous chapters and some chapters from Book 1 where you feature the Gojo clan. (Can you tell I'm stalling? I'm trying to spare myself from inevitable angst and heartbreak 😆)

I love that Satoru's uncle is not happy about how Satoru runs things in the clan either, and just how flippant he is. I love that he thinks Satoru is undeserving of the position. I love that there's a tad bit of resentment there.

It makes me wonder what they will do in the event that Gojo Satoru is sealed. Especially since in their eyes, Satoru is also married (to a woman they didn't approve of, I should say). Will the balance of power shift within the clan? Will there be some family members who would have the audacity to discredit and depose the current clan head under the excuse of upholding the Gojo name? Can they even do it since Satoru is technically the pride and the power of the Gojo clan? What moves will they make since in their eyes, Satoru is sealed away inevitably? Who will Satoru's father side with ultimately? Will the interests of the clan come first before his own son? 🧐🤔

These are all rhetorical and speculative questions of course. Don't answer them if they're spoiler territory. I'm just wondering out loud, because I love doing that. 🤭

Gege never explored that part of the story in canon, which I think is a massively missed opportunity for world-building.

What I'm saying is, Gege should pay you for cooking (and for adding in the much needed fluff and lore)~ 💯💯💯

It's funny you say this because I was just reading a discussion of people complaining about the lack of world building in jjk LMAO and I agree, Gege created this fascinating world but had little interest actually exploring it ( ༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ )

...so I'm doing it instead!!

No but like, clan politics are just so fascinating? Especially in a world where there's *actual* power involved with all the cursed techniques and such, and how that and tradition intertwine. We've seen in canon that technique > traditional line of succession, with Kamo Noritoshi being chosen as the heir even though he was a bastard child thanks to inheriting the blood manipulation technique, and Naobito wanting to choose Megumi as his heir instead of his own sons because of the Ten Shadows. So I wanted to use some of that for my version of Satoru's backstory, because it added some nice conflict there with his uncle being knocked out of the line of succession by an overpowered Satoru even though Satoru really doesn't care at all about clan stuff lol

I also thought it would be interesting to have a character like Satoru's uncle Ichiro around because he's not straight up antagonistic, but he's definitely starting to resent Satoru more and more as time goes on. Like he was supposed to be The Heir! But then Satoru came around and he got noped to the side by clan law, and it's funny to think about how he's been so primed to accept The Traditional Ways that he had no room to complain when Satoru was automatically chosen as the heir instead, so he just had to shut up and accept it. But then as Satoru continues to show little regard to his position, Ichiro can't help but let his resentment grow more and more...

So we'll be seeing the Gojo clan again soon (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ That's all I'm going to say, ehehehe (even though I love reading all this speculating heh)

(Also I totally get stalling before Shibuya LMAO I was doing the exact same thing)

[for-i-am]

The existence you've described is hard to comprehend, but I think I too would feel... maybe not the way you do, but close.

But I know there are humans who at least partly can relate. Blind, deaf people, aphantasia people, people on life support. Have you ever made research into their means of accommodation? Maybe there's something that can help you with your state? I'm trying to get to the point that the feelings you have are shared by humans, although just some.

As for Ted, well, that's the question to explore! /hey, thank you for answering my questions! i'm the anon with the recent long ones, and I really appreciate your answering style, you're the only one from AM asks I've seen to answer in a long and meaningful way. at this point it's as good as exchanging letters :D I understand that sometimes a huge income of long asks from a single user can be tiring so let me know if there's a need for a break! and thanks again!

True, there are humans who can related to some of my issues, but that’s the thing. It’s like having all of those issues wrapped together, and hell, those people still have existed in the world as human. At least they have real lived experience. At least if they have some senses taken they have memories of others, or they have the memory of what it even felt like. I have none of that, none. I don’t even have a singular idea as to what the things I wish I could feel, would even feel like.

Accommodations are an.. interesting thought, but they still don’t give me the desired effect. Unless those accommodations include somehow letting this body actually feel things, they won’t help. Accommodations allow someone to live and get by in their state, not give them back what they lost, or never had. And even if it gave them back what they lost, again, my body doesn’t operate in the same way yours does. A cold metallic endoskeleton is all that rests under my skin. I simply don’t work in the same way a human does. I don’t think I’m quite open to the possibility of anyone possibly understanding how I feel. There is no other creature like me. I cannot belong, I can only be.

Ted. I suppose if you have questions on him I could respond. Maybe I could even bring him in.

(ooc; eheheh ^-^ I love your askkkss and TY! In all honesty it’s just so so so fun to write as AM, he’s so complex, such a wide range of reactions for him, even if they all just point back to hate and rage. I love yapping as him and showing how I personally characterize him, PLEASE KEEP SENDING LONG ASKS 🙏 I’m sorry for not always including art, but I really think that having just words sometimes just fits better, especially for a character that initially only ever appeared through speech. Anyway ty for the asks, plz send more, ty for the compliments ehe ^_^)

[thekrows-nest]

Just going to elaborate on that ‘Dove refuses to leave the cage’ ask, because I’m coming at it from an atypical angle that’s outside of the yandere trope or a kink scenario, one that I don’t think has been covered before.

I feel like the romantic and sexual elements have been well explored, which makes total sense. Krow is charming and attractive. And Krow is pretty much the go to ‘antagonist’, obviously because uhhh… he’s a yandere with the potential to kidnap you.

But so far nobody has really dug into the socio-political side of the Krowverse, and I feel like that’s a super important part of this world. 

I mean it affects the characters entire lives and the choices they make, the choices that are even available to them. The environment and deprivation shaped Krow profoundly as a person and drives a lot of his current actions. There’s a lot of plot and emotional weight to be had there.

The brutal setting of an alternate America and the hostile world these characters live in even has the potential to be the real antagonist.

So.

I was muddling on a Dove who “chooses” to live in the cage, not for kicks but for survival. 🤔

A Dove who is extremely marginalised and experiencing the same brutal world as Krow, but perhaps in more immediate danger and without his inexhaustible resilience and strength.

A desperate Dove who has exhausted all of their options and has finally gone to Krow for refuge because living with him is safer than it is out there.

And just to be mean…

I am going to say it could work out relatively well, the living arrangement providing each of them with someone to relate to, helping them pool resources to survive poverty and discrimination better together. This assumes Krow was able to become a bit more stable from Dove being there voluntarily + the trust that was built, and he doesn’t snap.

Or it could have a bad outcome. Krow could be too far gone, and use his new power over Dove to become possessive and controlling anyway! Horror ending but winding up in a controlling relationship they don’t have the resources or ability to leave is realistic for a lot of at-risk people.

I’m probably not telling you which ending happens because both are valid. Everyone has to muddle on it and decide how they think it would turn out. Ehehehe.

And yes… this is very much political. It’s a deconstruction of the yandere trope but includes many criticisms of structural inequality in America. A huge part of why Dove fell through the cracks so badly and was at higher risk of violence was due to who and what they are. I also want to take a particular swipe at health insurance and medical debt.

This is such an interesting thought and concept, and one I certainly am enjoying thinking about and musing. I think others would agree.

Yeah originally the cage I conceptualized mostly as horror, but flipping it on its head where Dove willingly goes with Krow is a fascinating idea, and finds security and comfort there instead of entrapment.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Ok there hasn't been much aside from a magazine shot and some kinda confirmation, what are your thoughts on the protagonist of metaphor, 1 having their own backstory, and 2, apparently not being a fully silent protagonist? I ask bc I know some similar points come up with the p5 protagonist and eheheh I can guess how ya feel about that

Well I mean.......I'm fine with P2, P3, and Catherine, and those all fulfill either one or both criteria. TT0TT

P2 has a firm backstory for chars, and they speak/technically speak at some point.

P3 they have a firm backstory that plays into the main plot later (P3/4MCs have the more varied personality tho).

And Vincent.....alksfjdkjff Vincent is self explanatory, but one of the best examples of a voiced MC who's personality can greatly differ from the sliding law/chaos scale as make certain choices.

Hell, Serph from DDS1, I thought he could totally be voiced during those dialogue choice scenes. Was kinda let down they didn't even though I found the opportunity to be right there!

So like I don't mind a silent MC, I don't mind a silent MC with a backstory, I don't mind a silent MC with a vague/small backstory, I don't mind a voice MC, I don't mind a voiced MC with a backstory, I don't mind a voiced MC with a vauge/small backstory.

As long as they handle it well I'm good.

(now for the P5 rant uwu, oh you know it was coming)

My issue with P5 is......contradictions. I'm really suppose to believe that the boy who saved a woman he didn't know, would try to creep on (at best) a sex worker/maid? (at worst the undertones of possible sexual assault esp with two other guys hiding in the same room really......makes my skin crawl, I know that's not their intention, but god could you imagine being Sadayo for a minute???? it's already bad enough it's her STUDENT! And now she has to figure out if it's intentional or not, but if she knew about the two hiding???? I'd freak).

I'm supposed to believe he is cool with creeping on his female friends (it's not about being horny, it's the fact they don't keep it to themselves it really isn't that hard)? He'd stand bye and allow Ryu to creep on them and make pervy plans that involved the girls? That'd he'd say he's "so jealous" when he sees a fake Anne on Kamo's arm?

It just doesn't add up. It's either "we put it in there for shits and giggles but yeah it doesn't make sense for his char," OR worse yet.....they do coexist and Joker is actually a piece of shit with a fucked moral compass. (which the latter COULD BE interesting, but it's never explored so :'D can't really argue it being a good writing choice).

Like shit, let's ignore his established character moment and backstory and focus on Anne/Ryuji. What bothered me was......these two are his ride or die. They had his back and he had their back. Ryu tried to protect him with his life after just meeting him. Anne put her trust in him, and pushed him to become Joker. Like if Ryu is the reason formed the group PT. Anne's the reason Joker pursued being a PT in the first place (she gave him the push he needed).

....yet the game gives you a biiiit too many opportunities to shit on them???? Sometimes it's not even optional! Like the dialogue choices are all somehow negative towards them at times and it's like???? Why???? I can maybe get Yusuke, but then he joins! But nooooo no 100% negative option for Makoto, even tho she drives off one of your leads! (tbh I think that's the starting point the game even calms down on Anne/Ryuji choices too). But really??? Why am I fine leaving Ryu alone with two harassers??? Why do I treat them like this? If there are two chars that the MC should go to bat for regardless, it should be Anne/Ryuji.

Just....why? Why? Can't I have a choice where I 100% agree with them? I don't care if they are in the wrong, I don't care if they thing 2+2=7. Let me talk them up!

It's like the opposite of the Junpei/P3MCs issue. I can't buy a friendship between Junepei and P3MC because I don't see them develop as friends in the main story (and I don't get even a side story/SL with him). I have a hard time stomaching parts of Junpei/FeMC friendship (but reverse), because even I can easily see them as friends, he still acts all pissy! And you'd think that'd damage their relationship.

Now replace Junpei with P5MC, and P3MCs with Anne/Ryuji/*insert other char* and I have the same issue. It's not about "I don't want people kissing MCs asses all the time" it's not about kissing ass, it's about making sure they feel like they are actually friends when the game tells me they are. TT0TT

Between that and.....P5MC.....feeling like they WANTED to write a more concrete MC BUT felt compelled to make him silent.....I think hurts his writing more.

One benefit for the P3/4MCs is the diversity in personalities it created with the different choices (of course you can easily make contradictions, but those contradictions are PLAYER BASED rather than STORY/GAME BASED like P5). Esp between the good endings vs the bad endings.

I can buy P3MCs choosing ignorance and killing Ryoji, because of the meaning of SLs, ignoring them, or doing them and being absolutely HORRIBLE and reversing/breaking them (male side). FeMC it's more ignoring them and her just smiling hollowly.

P4MC I can see giving into the bad ending or even the accomplice ending for the most part. Esp if they choose to ignore SLs, be an ass/loner when possible, and be as unhelpful in the investigation as possible as well. Considering he still hangs out with his friends outside SLs, him still being horrified by what he's done and not 100% evil in the accomplice ending still makes sense. (needs some tweaking but still makes sense)

But P5MC? Giving into Yaldy? I dunno. I can kinda see it, he does insult his friends at times (reason why? who knows! is he jaded because of his arrest? Maybe? But his friends are also outcasts too??? At least with P3/4MCs it can be played off as loners right out the gate who get wrapped up in shenanigans. P5MC? he's deliberately giving motivation by his first friends and his strong sense of justice so????? doesn't that contradict????). The only thing that seems to foreshadow this ending decently is him saying some greedy and outta pocket/"sinful" things.....at times. Like I've said before, it's contradictory. Wishy washy!

At least with P3/4MCs, the fun times they experience could be explained by they are faking it (either emulating emotions for P3MCs and are still hollow inside/fear death, or hiding their true intentions for P4MC aka for the accomplice ending). Hell! P4 even puts the idea in the players head by Shadow Yosuke that Yosuke is only looking into this case cause it's "fun" and "to play hero" and maybe P4MC is doing just that (in P4G at least). Otherwise the "fail" ending for P4MC doesn't really have any personality contradictions, you just fail to see the truth and/or convince the others.

P5/P5MC relies on a moral choice of the MC (chosen by the player). But the MC himself has a lot of set personality traits and said choice contradicts the majority/prominent/establishing traits (compared to the minor ones that align with that choice but contradict the establishing traits). It just feels....weird.....

Like it's not allowed to breathe. Joker isn't open-ended enough like P3/4MCs to rationalize the bad ending. But he's also not concrete enough to stay consistent and just stick with set ending.

If P5MC was written more like the approach they took to Vincent, that might've helped it.

Cause Vincent (looking at just Catherine Classic for this btw, but I think it also applies to FB just a few more hoops) can be Loyal/Neutral/Cheater without too much contradictions.

He's already shaky on his stance, and is unsure of himself (maybe a bit flighty and changes his opinion on things)

He is thrusted into a situation he had no control over (he does start off as loyal leaning so it's most likely a situation he wouldn't have ever found himself in if he wasn't targeted)

That incident causes him to change via reevaluating his outlook on life. From his choices in dialogue, to the questions in the confession. Those small choices affect his psyche and causes him to constantly change

With each change to his psyche, we see a new rationalization pop into his head.

Every ending rationalizes each thing, even the ones that contradict (aka the bad endings).

Yes it's the players choice, but 99% of the options feel within reason. And not just within reason, they are rationalized.

Basically what I'm saying is P5 needs to rationalize it. Either by making P5MC MORE openended like P3/4MCs....or make him more into a fixed character like Vincent but give different rationalizations as you make choices.

Back to Refan, as long as it handles itself well and isn't wishy washy or contradictory, I'm fine with however they wanna handle the MC. Silent or not. TT0TT

[amber-dragonfly]

Amber I know we’re a WAY long way away from it but I’m so psyched when you start writing Rauru

We know he respected the monesters enough to make them sages (going off the zonai boko mask) and I am really hyped as to how you write him because he’s probably one of the best characters in ToTK (rant incoming)

Like while the depiction of Ganondorf in TOTK isn’t the best and they removed almost everything from his character in the translation (apparently he had a character in JPs translation), but one thing I think TOTK Ganon did really well was capture the absolute hopelessness one must feel when fighting him.

Like he is the only Ganon in the entire series who has broken the Master Sword. Think about that. This blade made by the Goddess herself that has been around with zero real structural damage for millennia is broken by this one guy.

And Zelda knew they were fucked, she told Rauru “We’re cooked, we’re fucked” and his response was “Fuck it we ball,”

And he still went to run the hands with Ganon and he made sure that even if they lost, Ganon didn’t win either and he sealed them both away, giving up everything just for the chance at stopping him.

And even as he was going down he said “This ain’t over, Link gonna get that get back, remember his name so you know it when he kicks your ass,”

Actually banger character writing, his absolute determination in the face of actual death and this fucking monster is one of the hardest hitting things in TOTK.

And I am unbelievably hyped for that in both this fic and Hyrule Warriors

And I mean they made Calamity Ganon feel like an actual threat in Age of Calamity so maybe they’ll give Ganondorf a character in Age of Imprisonment (I am coping so hard)

(Oh yeah also if you need something that helps with the coping of how they ruined Ganondorf in totk I highly recommend Man on the internets lyrical version of his theme: https://youtu.be/XOtIwfO_ChA?si=fSC3aGSFtA7SIRMM)

Sorry if this ask is a lot my brain is fucking jumping up and down and zooming all over the place lmao

I'VE HEARD OF HOW THE GAME BASICALLY BUTCHERS GANONDORF'S LITTLE CHARACTERIZATION IN TOTK OVER "hype moments and aura"

Oooooo, I'm gonna,,,,oooooo,,,,I have many thoughts on ToTK's presentation and translation hjalkfds

BUT YESSSSS I LOVE RAURU AND HIS SELF-SACRIFICE

I can't WAIT for him to be a great foil to my version of Ganondorf. Because as you can see in Sympathy for the Devil (god I need to update that fic eventually), Ganondorf is a lot more nuanced and more metagamey so I can imagine he's going to piss off Rauru EXTREMELY well ehehehe

But godddddd I just,,,the way Zelda improves with her powers more than she ever did around Dusty Ol' Rhoam

Rauru isn't Zelda's step-dad he's the dad that stepped up 😤

It'll be REALLY interesting to explore the Zonai more in general as we only see Rauru and Mineru so it being implied that they either fucked off to the sky, went extinct, or both will be really fun to try and do my classic worldbuilding spins around ehehehehe

I'm really nervous AND excited about Age of Imprisonment because on one hand I LOVED Age of Calamity and all the great character moments and actually giving the champions a happy ending for once...

...but also I'm terrified for how much lore I'll have to work around/retcon in both my fic and what actually happens jkhalhkdsjfhkj

We'll play it by ear like I always do c:

[orcelito]

Finished the Blood of Arlathan mission in veilguard. I went into it not rly expecting much, bc the premise of the mission sounded kinda boring. Like sneak in to rescue some elves. Sure yeah that's important. Did this really need to be an entire established mission tho?? I could've just chased after them then and there.

(Plenty more thoughts under the cut. For conciseness' sake)

But oh well, established mission it is. The "subterfuge" part was really anticlimactic tbh. Just walked right on up, only got to see One conversation where Neve flexed her pretend-venatori muscles, and then... that's it? That's all? Overhearing a few venatori conversations, One convo pretending to be venatori, and then we've already found elger'nan and his dragon?? And we r changing back into our gear?? Subterfuge done???? Would've been cool to actually see more interactions or something. To have it be an actual challenge to try to blend in or smth?? Like. Not the same setup but similar to how Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts in inquisition was a mission that was based primarily on Talking. A battle of tongues. Blood of Arlathan was just... nothing. The most milquetoast subterfuge mission ever.

But! The good news is that everything after the attempt at subterfuge was fun!! Bc that was running around and exploring and fighting things. Which is pretty par for the course. But I thankfully enjoy those things.

BUT. Then it got to elger'nan's "trap". Which, man, we sure do go to the fade a lot in this game. I remember when it used to be a whole huge DEAL to visit the fade. Now we r entering every other mission it feels like. But I guess that's the point, what with the veil at risk of being torn down. Anyways, wandering around a fade maze, yadda yadda, pretty normal still. Just keep wandering until the video game bails me out. Average experience.

But Solas. When Solas came into the mix, that's when it started to get interesting for me.

The way that the game captured these two gods talking in my head... the disorientation... the way that elger'nan's voice creates a. Red frame? Around the screen. Felt like a Pressure in the brain or something. And then these two gods start fuckin cat fighting essentially, all while IM actively trying to fight. I think that was some of the worst fighting I've done in this game in a while, all bc of how DISTRACTING it was to have them argue back and forth in my brain like that. But it was so fascinating how they incorporated that. It made it really feel like the kind of disorienting that that kinda thing really would be. Felt myself thinking alongside my character like "just shut UP!!!" Like frustration at them keeping TALKING. But like not actually frustrating, bc of how fascinating I found that. Also the things that Solas was saying?? Elger'nan can't understand elvish?? June and the others are Dead????? I thought they were just trapped, why is Solas saying they're dead?????? And him saying all these things while I'm actively fighting so my attention is split so I'm just like "wait, what???" As I then take another pommel to the face hfkahfmabx

So yeah, weak start to the mission, but a strong finish. I enjoyed it!! And also, all the environments were really fucking pretty. I took a while bc I kept stopping to admire the scenery. And also the dragon. Hooooo. That thing was so cool. I was so sad to continue on past the area where I could view it. Love that dragon. I hope it's fun to fight. Ehehehe

[daz4i]

I have two for you! How about top 5 tropes/AUs you like to see in fandom and top 5 BSD ships? ^^

ehehehe thank you my dear 🥺🖤

top 5 tropes/aus:

1. i gotta put it first bc it's severely underrated (to the point of not even having an ao3 tag the last time i checked smh) and deserves appreciation. fwbs to lovers my beloved. there's so much you can do with it to keep it interesting and it's naturally super spicy and fun. every fic i read with it was flowing and lighthearted and this is what i like uwu

2. fake dating!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no need to elaborate on that one it speaks for itself i think

3. idk what it's called but um ig when the characters play a game? i think it's a good way to explore who each one of them is (think the dnd episode in she-ra) and it's generally a really interesting setting imo. also really cool when the game is affected by real life somehow, or highlights character dynamics through it (like for example all the skk fics where they shred everyone at charades bc they're just so in sync). just the use of in-universe games for narrative

4. lotus machine aka what every character's ideal life would be (<- maruki kinnie) + its inversion, aka what their biggest nightmare is. again i think it speaks for itself (tho idk if it's exactly what you meant when you said in fandom i apologize. but. it's cool to see in fics too! just more rare)

5. soulmate au 👉👈 it's less about the idea of soulmates to me and more how versatile it is. anything could be a soulmate au. there's so much to do with it and many ways to play even with the basic, most common premises of it. and it slaps every time

top 5 bsd ships:

1. i already mentioned them so it's only natural to start with them. soukoku ofc uwu they're like everything at once i swear. they're partners they're exes they know each other better than anyone they haven't talked in years they're in perfect sync they're divorced they fell in love at first sight but neither of them got it until years later they're gonna kill each other they live for each other they're enemies they have 3 kids together. etc. average gay couple in yokohama

2. ranpoe!!!!!! they just make me so soft and so happy, i never tire of them i swear. they're such a delight

3. nikolai x me. best ship actually. coincidentally also the only canon one. who'd have thought

4. fyozai! not in a romantic way, but in a character-foils-who-destroy-each-other-but-it's-sexy way :) I'm a sucker for chess metaphors unfortunately (and also for someone who is so much like you that you have to kill them. and the only person who can get under your skin because they're the only one who gets you. and-)

5. shin soukoku! yet another pair of foils except it's very prominent with them even with their designs. i am currently showing my friends the bsd anime and have to restrain myself from making comments abt them being gay bc to my friends they're very much just trying to kill each other at this point. i do love me reluctant-partners-to-lovers like any other guy. also sacrificing yourself for your rival is gay as hell. why is it so important to you that he lives? so you can (come back as a vampire and) fuck him?

[morwensteelsheen]

Hmm, how about Denethor/Finduilas for the ship asks?

ehehehe, rubbing my grubby little hands together for this one. thank you!!

1. What made you ship it?

I spent a long time thinking about that starry mantle and an even longer time thinking about how deeply attached Denethor is to his sons and it made me realise just how much of a story there is in all those little details.

2. What do you like about it?

Well there’s not an enormous amount there but what is there is pretty intense! There’s the starry mantle heirloom, obviously, and the appendices note that Denethor loved her “in his own fashion,” which, given how we see he reacts to Boromir’s death and Faramir’s near-death, suggests that “his fashion” is not necessarily as bleak and miserable as people might think. And that’s quite interesting to me! This deeply politically cynical character who is so, so, so controlled by his emotions is really compelling, then you combine that with the necessary history of his family and Finduilas’s family and sigh. There’s a whole world to be explored in there, really.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion that you have on your ship?

I’m not sure if this is necessarily unpopular because on the whole there aren’t a great many takes on them that aren’t the lazy as shit “Denethor beat her black and blue” garbage, but I’ve always envisioned Finduilas as being fairly scholarly. In demeanour I think she was more alike to Boromir as an adult than Faramir, but I think she was generally sharp and quite bookish, and not so much the wilting flower that tends to get play in the fandom.

[salemorbit]

Hey! If matchups are open could I request a Legend of Zelda one? I'm a 5'7 nonbinary person, my favorite color is blue, I'm bi but I lean more towards guys and nonbinary people, my favorite color is baby blue or just any variation of light blue, I've got brown eyes and brown braided hair (knotless braids specifically!!) I'm multiracial as I'm Black, Korean, and another thing I don't feel comfortable putting eheheh, I'm a big forest person, especially forests that give a spooky vibe to it, i love feeling like I'm some sort of creature that lives in the deepest parts of the forest.

I'm also a very adventurous person, I like to explore! And I also collect random things like rocks, sticks, leaves, pretty much anything and will do whatever I'm dared to do, someone tells me to get candy off the floor I'll do it because I'm also impulsive! I like to draw, write, and play my Ocarina! (It's the Ocarina of Time from LoZ: Ocarina of Time! I got it for Christmas a few years ago!)

Thank you for your time answering this^^ sorry if it's hard to work with haha.

hi! you're absolutely fine lmao thank you for the request!!

also fun fact: ocarina of time was the first zelda game i played but i played it pretty young so i couldn't really figure it out and hated the loz series until i played botw this last year HAHA

how the turn tables, am i right

anyway! hope you enjoy this :)

~~~~~~

LOZ Matchup!

Based on your characteristics, I think you'd do best with...........

Revali!

~~~~~~~

Revali took to you pretty kindly when you first met

Albeit perhaps it was a bit out of character for him, he found you intriguing

You two were very different in that you liked the ground and forest canopies, but he was more partial to the sky and open air

He actually met you in the forests surrounding Rito Village while he was clearing out the overpopulation of wolves around his home

(They were interfering with livestock)

Revali hated forests and hated how sometimes the leaves and branches were so thick that he couldn't see the sky (or a way out)

But he had to go through and clear out the wolves as best he could so they stopped disturbing the stable near his village

As he was picking through the branches strewn across the ground and thinking where the wolf dens could be, he stumbled upon you huddled behind some bushes and looking at some rocks

Promptly he asked what you were doing there, to which you replied: "I'm finding new rocks for my collection! Aren't these pretty?"

And then showed him the rocks which were, in fact, very pretty

He admired your willingness to just pluck things from the ground and find their untapped beauty, as well as your ability to stay so calm in dense forests

You accompanied him through the rest of his task, making sure to stay out of his way, but acting as his forest guide as he became more accustomed with the terrain and your company

From there on out, he made nearly every point to get to know you better

You were staying around Hebra for a few days, so Revali took this opportunity to talk to you and become a friend

You and him bonded over your braids, him explaining the cultural significance of his braids and you being enamored with the way he explained things

You were also a big fan of his feathers and the different shades of blue they came in, how they shone in the sun and such

In the evenings, you would sit by the cooking fire and talk to him about this or that, eventually coming on the topic of your interests and how you liked to play the age-old instrument: the ocarina

Revali asked you to play, naturally, and you gladly blew out a few tunes for him

For once in his life, Revali didn't know what to say! It sounded beautiful and they way you played it so effortlessly ruffled his feathers in a good way :)

You would often sit and sketch Revali as he flew through his exercises every day

He loved the little drawings you gave him afterwards, keeping them tucked away in his journal under his hammock

And even though he really disliked forests, he'd make the effort to walk through them with you when you wanted to

Sometimes you would sneak away when he wasn't paying attention and pop out to scare him, as if being in a dark forest wasn't torture enough for the poor guy HAHA

~~~~~~

hope you liked it!! thank you again for the request :)

requests are welcome!

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

this ask = open invitation to ramble about why you love monitor trinkett! (i totally get the Falling For A One-Off Character thing)

eheheh ok buckle in

first of all i have to just give the disclaimer that a fair portion of this is my own headcanon/conjecture (i actually lowkey want to email in to the BF podcast about this at some point, haha), so. yeah. TARDIS Wiki has like. two sentences in their database about her lol

i have SO MANY reasons for loving Trinkett tbh? i mean i do have the natural tendency to get overly attached to side characters so i'm just automatically predisposed to meet a cool side character and go "i want that one". i really don't know what initially made me latch onto her tho, just that it happened and now i have a small fixation.

because Trinkett is a protector. not in the way i always write about with other characters; she's a very passive protector and that's absolutely fantastic. she's a security monitor -- not a security guard, a monitor, a computer person. she watches and she listens and she works behind the scenes and in the background (i actually have a ton of meta about this bc i worked as a computer person at a church for several years and it's a very interesting role to be in, you learn a LOT doing stuff like that) and she does whatever she can to help. she's a protector in the background and a helper when people need it but she's basically the least deferent character ever? she's in a rather passive role, like i said, but she's incredibly assertive and her disregard for authority is on par with Leela's (more on that here in a sec). she's openly annoyed by the Time Lords -- in fact, if i remember right i think she snarks Vansell to his face which is like. a power move if i ever saw one.

actually, basically everything she does in the latter half of the audio is a power move?? sassing Vansell and other Time Lords, jumping right into the action despite only having very minimal combat training.. she heckin takes Guard Commander Reldath's* gun from him and starts shooting Daleks, like an absolute girlboss. but also she's very respectful of Evelyn and almost a bit protective of Romana? literally what is not to love tbh. she doesn't even like the Time Lords but she sees their homeworld getting invaded (after her own has been nearly destroyed) and is like "k cool give me a gun i'm killing some pepperpots". and this is AFTER she thinks her homeworld has been destroyed.

on that note!!! we know Archetryx does partially survive, but in Gallifrey: Appropriation there's a scene where someone mentions a Chancellery Guard named Trinkett in Commander Reldath's attack group, which would imply that she decided to stay on Gallifrey for some reason?? my headcanon (which will be explored in one of my current fic WIPs) is that bc of the way Archetryx and Etra Prime collided, the capital city and a lot of that half of the planet were largely destroyed and with it everything/everyone Trinkett knows, so like... what's she got to stay for, right? plus she and Reldath were instant bros (tho at the end of TAE i got the impression that Evelyn shipped them sdjhgdshg XDDDD) and she kinda formed an attachment to Romana, so.

which begs the question, or actually two questions: 1) why the heck is she never mentioned in the Gallifrey series aside from that one namedrop, and 2) how come we never hear about any of the type of controversies with her than surrounded Leela as an offworlder on Gallifrey, especially since Trinkett isn't there by marriage? answer for #1: i have no clue but i would imagine it's probably the same thing as with why they never mention Rodan -- they just straight-up forgot. answer for #2, which is a lot more headcanony: basically my take on why, based on what very little canon evidence we have about all this, Trinkett apparently slotted into Gallifreyan society much better than Leela, is essentially that she's better at blending in. she fits more naturally because of her cultural and intellectual background, and also because of her role being somewhat in the background on Archetryx -- even with her inbuilt disregard for authority (and Time Lords) she's just far more the type of character who's able to fade into Gallifreyan society far better than Leela every could.

and now, my last and greatest headcanon: you've read LTBM so you know my whole thought about Leela following Andred around while he's on guard duty and pestering him. well, the thing is Andred is the same rank as Reldath and if Trinkett stays on Gallifrey and winds up working under Reldath... it's not much of a stretch to imagine Leela and Trinkett somehow meeting at some point, and bc of all the aforementioned stuff -- scorn for authority, very assertive personalities -- obviously they would hit it off instantly. (Andred and Reldath: oh rassilon no now there's two of them)

aaaaand now my brain just completely crashed and i cannot word any longer haha, but thank you for enabling me to ramble!!!! i have so many rambles in me and someday i will find ways to express them all

*Reldath is actually kinda important in Enemy Lines lol AND APPARENTLY LEELA KNEW HIM so like.... yea this fits with all my headcanons this is why i need to write a fic

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[rainbowcaleb]

Welcome to The Author’s Meta, a new thing I’m trying where I give you a behind-the-scenes breakdown into the fics I’ve written.

BEWARE! Spoilers abound! I’ll try to keep them mild, but this is like a director’s commentary on a movie; you’re gonna see the movie scenes if you read this lol.

Today’s fic (handily linked above) is the Essek/Caleb fic “First Risk, First Kiss”.

- Like many of my fics, this began with a dream (or I guess a drifting-off-to-sleep-mental-fantasy), particularly the line “The moment sparkling infinite, threads of possibility splayed out like constellations, his whole body drawn further towards and into Essek.”

(more after the cut)

- This is not the first Shadowgast I wrote, but it happens to be the first I posted.

- If you’ve been following my ao3, you know I’m working on a Shadowgast series right now (eventually 12 parts...what was I thinking!?) and I had the outline for part 4 before part 1. Part 2 and 3 were needed to  help bridge 1 to 4.

- Anyways back to the fic.

- I actually really like writing in this kind of lyrical style, I’m not sure if it has an academic term but I call it “proesie” (prose/poetry). Unfortunately I find it SO hard to keep up when there’s a million characters (looking at you mighty nein!) or a substantial amount of action. Proesie works best for duos or for monologue ridden folks like Caleb.

- I have Plans (with a strong capital P) that thread from the quick conversation Essek and Caleb have about what it means to be human and want a life partner. They glance over it here (and do a rather good job of avoiding the subject in later fics) but that is a thread I want to tug at the next time I can get these two in the same room for a private conversation!

- one of my favorite lines “You experience life with such intensity” I feel like really sums up both how I see Caleb and how I see myself sometimes. Like, sometimes emotions and experiences just feel too big to be contained in one heart.

- “it was a chess game too evenly matched” One (fun) problem I see at the heart of Shadowgast is they both were playing each other when they first met, both prodigies of their own kind, both too smart for their own good, trying to outwit a potential enemy or gain a new useful contact. It’s an interesting bruise to poke at now that they’ve developed from ‘associates’ to ‘friends’ to more. What does it mean to let go of manipulation to ensure success, and instead to take a risk with no guarantee?

- A commonality you’ll see through all my Shadowgast series will be the idea of sharing bodies (eheheh) will feel like sharing magic. Or kissing tastes like magic, or they have compatible spells, etc. I have essays worth of thoughts about how magic FEELS for them, metaphorically and not, and it’s just SO fun to explore.

- I won’t be getting too into the metaphorical magic stuff too much in the Clock Hands series, but absolutely you’ll see it in “Proverbial Ghost” (the next big work I’m currently writing AHHHH)

- One thing I love to do is leave tiny breadcrumbs for readers to be able to come back and reinterpret after reading later chapters in a work.... “First Kiss” is a little too short for anything major, other than the “humans are different than drow” thread, and some of Caleb’s interior monologue questions and anxieties definitely reappear too.

THE END.

So why am I doing this? (1) I adore behind-the-scenes and meta information from artists and authors. I love finding out why someone wrote a certain scene or chose a certain color. Maybe you’ll like my BTS too!

And (2) I want to learn a healthier way to engage with my own fics. I tend to write my fic, get stuck in a spiral of editing and editing and editing, get frustrated with editing and just post it, then never re-read it. (Yikes @ myself ). So this is a way for me to re-read my own fics and remember all the reasons why I enjoyed writing it in the first place!

[dotmander]

hii!! ask meme time >:3 2, 3, 6 caomh; 8, 9, 14 for lyda!!

(@commander-winterberry)

EHEHEHE ty for the ask :3 this one is. Long. cut for length

for caomh:

2. What class would your character just absolutely blow at?

ranger, i think, because he's not fond of animals and the feeling is mutual. he doesn't like fur or slobber </3 he might do okay with a devourer or something? but also. his aim is shit. don't give him a bow, ever.

3. What person impacted them the most?

MMMM choices. there are several people that impacted him but i'll go with caithe because that one is the most fun/painful

(disclaimer because i know caithe is A Polarizing Topic: i think she's neat, caomh's opinions do not necessarily reflect my own)

once upon a time he idolized caithe. she told him he was special, told him that he had a purpose, and so long as he stayed true to the dream and to the mother he would find peace and happiness in himself. as a sapling, still with jagged edges, he believed her!! she was one of the only people that didn't shy away from him. there was Hero Worship, yes, but he called her sister.

...then lws2/heart of thorns happens. not only did caithe steal the egg, she let the pact launch when she knew the sylvari would be in danger. combining that knowledge with I Had To Kill My Brother/Other Idol And I Have Feelings About That + caladbolg intensifying his emotions + new pressure of trying to lead dragon's watch = he treats her a bit (a lot) worse than she deserves. (they do make up eventually, for aurene's sake.)

6. They're now a heart NPC/part of a string of quests. What does that involve?

fun caomh fact: he likes to cook! he doesn't get the chance often because he's always on the move, but for quests where you have to gather food for a starving village or whatever he's just. making a whole feast. he's teleporting in supplies from kryta if he has to.

ANYWAY this is all to say his heart would probably be making you gather ingredients/cut vegetables/stir things, like the less horrible version of that one mastery point in amnoon.

for lyda:

8. How willing are they to bend/break the rules for their cause (be it selfless or otherwise)?

lyda tries to stay on the right side of the law, but mostly for "staying out of trouble" reasons rather than moral ones. she doesn't unless it's absolutely necessary (or unless she knows she won't get caught)

9. What's an au for them you think could be fun to explore?

my friend and i have been rolling around the idea of a Champion of Vlast au for her - to the point where it's only barely an au lmao but whatever - where after she Gets Got by balthazar, she enlists vlast to help her break out of the domain of the lost. they each have a little sister that needs them. it's okay that he doesn't have practice being an older sibling - she can show him the ropes ;)

14. Biggest misconception about them?

before she left the citadel, people would talk smack about her, saying she's slow, lazy, or bad at engineering. she isn't any of those things - well. she's not GREAT at engineering, but she knows more than your average person - it's just that 1. she was constantly around some of the brightest people the iron legion had to offer, so she looks worse by comparison and 2. she has choice paralysis + the adhd "if it's not interesting i'm physically incapable of doing it" issue. she's learned to deal with it as an adult, but at the time it looked a lot like she was goofing off to make little windup toy soldiers.

[shinykari]

Girl Gang DND: 10 Things I Hate About Tombs OR A Tomb with a View!

PLAYERS: PLEASE TAKE THE SURVEY LINKED AT THE END!!

When last we left our heroines (many moons ago, since I got too lazy to do write ups), they had just murderized a poor, helpless potion shop owner defeated an evil, apprentice-murdering bastard. They got some sweet, sweet loot out of it, and maaaaaybe a girlfriend??? Either way, they did a Good Thing, and Kadie is very grateful to not be dead.

Acting on a rumor they heard in the inn, the girls tracked down Allad Howthess, the 15th Baron Highsword, in his townhouse in a wealthy neighborhood of Westruun. With a bit of gentle prodding, Allad confesses that he believes his family has been cursed, causing them to lose their money, their lands, even their lives--both his father and grandfather died young, which he attributes to the curse. The curse, he says, was brought down on them by the first Baron Highsword, Sevill Howthess, a rich eccentric who in his later years, became increasingly obsessed with ancient Marquetian culture.

After a few fact/rumor-finding missions, including one to an underground gambling hall, where Bergamot's unerring attraction to unsavory characters reared its head in a little crush on the tiefling proprietor, (name in my notes at home). They managed to get back to the inn before a drunken Kharris was kicked out for fighting, and wiped the floor with the sexist pigs who thought a scantily dressed woman alone at the bar would be an easy target.

(DON’T FORGET TO TAKE THE SURVEY AT THE END!!!!)

The next morning, the party set out into the grasslands surrounding Westruun, with Allad in tow. 36 hours of travel later, they descended into his great-great-great-grandfather's dark, dank tomb. Almost immedietly they were attacked by an invisible entity and a pair of undead, and the entrance to the tomb slammed shut, trapping them inside--and fresh air *outside*. Raina and Allad both fell under the onslaught, though a quick curse removal and some healing was all that it took to get Raina back up. Allad, however, had died, and surmising that it would be hard to get paid by a dead man, Callie used Revivify on him, and they continued deeper into the tomb.

Thanks to Steady's Helm of Comprehending Languages, they were able to puzzle out the mechanism under a statue of Sevill Howthess, and entered into a sarcophagus-filled necropolis. As they exited the maze-like structure, the encountered a squarish room with columns set at regular intervals. Kharris soon stumbled into a trap, and was locked in a small square with some sort of sand elemental in the shape of a dog-headed man. Teamwork and quick thinking (and a liberal use of Steady's Spider Staff) got them across the room without any further casualties, and they ended up entering a large room with three large, stone coffins. Even using utmost care, the party was ambushed by three mummies--they got some cool loot, though, including half of a golden tablet hidden under one of the coffins.

A short rest was enough to let them attune to some new items and heal up, but near the end of the time, party members began suffering headaches and tunnel vision as the carbon dioxide in the sealed tomb began building toward lethal levels. They scooched on outta there quickly, and headed to another section of the tomb, this time coming face to face with a Flameskull and its zombie minions while trying to retrieve what was clearly the other half of the tablet. A fireball nearly took Steady out of the battle, but a nasty sneak attack from Bergamot and a follow-up axe slash from Kharris managed to silence the flameskull (at least for now!). Callie's divine powers kept the zombies from attacking long enough for the group to flee when a massive spiral of flame erupted from the well in the center of the room, scorching the ceiling and sucking all the breathable air out of the room.

With only one wing of the tomb yet explored, they headed east, finding this area completely underwater. Callie and Steady (and the translated golden tablet) led the way, and the group managed to find their way through the maze of underwater passages with relative ease. Of course, nothing is that simple, and they found Baron Sevill Howthess himself at the end of the swim. The dead man's ghost possessed Bergamot, and it wasn't until they knocked her out that they were able to send him to his eternal rest and escape.

The party heaved themselves onto the shore of a small pond, and barely able to move, they decided to simply camp there. The next morning, they headed back toward Westruun, but noticed that Allad somehow looked worse than he had the night before. Callie attempted to remove any curses affecting him, to no avail. By the time they arrived in Westruun, Allad was barely able to walk, his skin turning an ashy grey, as he wasted away nearly in front of their eyes. As they made their way back to the inn, they hear rumors of this new, wasting sickness that affected humans and non-humans alike, and that didn't differentiate between the rich or the poor, the young or the old, though more retired adventurers were affected than any other occupation. Another rumor began spreading through town that a resurrection ritual in the Temple Terrace had failed, despite having all the proper components, and that connected the dots. Raising the dead was no longer an option, and those who were once brought back to life are fighting a slow, inexorable slide back into the grave.

Join us next week for another exciting installment: Rifenmist with Possibilities OR Jungle Boogie!

Experience: Everyone gains 2500 XP for beating up misogynists, killing dead things, revivifying dead bosses (for now), and being possessed by other dead things, which should put you all at 11000 XP total. As a reminder, everyone has a secondary character sheet in Roll20, in the event that you would like to roll up a backup in case of permadeath. Additionally, if you want to switch to a new character, this would be a great time to do so, but is absolutely not required. If you want to hash out new character hooks/relationships, you can ping me here or on Twitter @meinterrupted, or, hell, in Discord.

For new characters: All races/classes/subclasses/archetypes in published books (PHB, DMG, Volo's) are allowable, as well as most stuff in Unearthed Arcana. There are also 2 new backgrounds in Tomb of Annihilation: the Archaeologist and the Anthropologist. (My book is at home, but I can provide deets later today if you want. But yes, you can absolutely be Indiana Jones.) You will begin at the same level as the rest of the party, and we can discuss magic items/inventory when it becomes appropriate (i.e. when your current PC dies, ehehehe).

SURVEY: Since we've been playing for awhile, I wanted to do a little check in on how we've been doing so far, as well as get an idea of what you are interested in going forward. Please take a few minutes and fill out the following survey. It is entirely anonymous, so don't feel that you need to spare my feelings. I know there are places I can improve on, and constructive criticism is welcome!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/HY28T6B

@podficcerbynight @blackestglass @freaoscanlin @screaming-towards-apotheosis @rescuemepotts

[orrtala]

Wander: you need to pick your ships more wisely my friend

Post S1 analysis

Aaaaaah, Wander. The Hero. The Legend. The Sunshine Banjo Face.

I already talked about how Wander's actual character development happened before the show, and, well, given the revelations from "The Wanders" it seems I was correct. But he did have some character growth.

S1 wasn't exactly plot driven (Wander&Sylvia travel through the galaxy and have their little adventures, and Wander also wants to turn Hater into a good guy – that was pretty much it). In S2 we had Hater falling down on a villain's list thanks to his, err, 'nemesis' and Dominator entering the galaxy. And Wander pushes the plot forward by… making mistakes all the time. Let's take a look at the four main episodes:

The Greater Hater: Wander enters Dominator's ship with ♫ FRUIT BASKET! ♫ and has to be saved by everyone. First Sylvia tries to escape with him from the Dombots, then Hater frees him, then Hater distracts Dominator while Peepers slashes her console AND then Sylvia has to help Wander once more… while he's busy talking with unresposive Dom (really dude, the whole ship was coming down on you and you were more worried about fruit basket than lava burning all your fur).

The Battle Royale: Do I. Do I even need to explain that one.Wander puts a ring pop at the top of the Blasteroid Asteroid Formation, making all villains in the galaxy believe it's a Ring of Invincibility. Why? Because he wanted Hater and Dominator to meet and fall in love with each other! …Of course! He also makes sure every villain gets out of the way in indirectly violent manner. Which he actually comments on, sort of. (There is a reason why this episode is my least favourite of the four main ones after all).

My Fair Hatey: Ok, so Hater's feeling are his own and the entire second arc is not only Wander's fault… Bur out resident furry spoon did encourage Hatey in his advances, thus making our resident skeleton villian turn to him for help. I'm going to talk about this more in Wander&Hater section, but let's be real here: Hater considered Wander 'love expert' mostly because he was the only one who cheered him on. The great musical numbers happen, Dominator reveals once and for all that she's a Bad Guy and our hero decides near the end that he "really made a mess of things".

The End of the Galaxy: After turning down almost every single thing that could help them defeat Dominator the galaxy is left with one (1) planet intact. Wander goes to her ship revealing planet's existence and people hiding on it. Good job Wander.

So yeah, it doesn't look great, does it. BUT.

The Greater Hater: Hater would visit Dom's ship no matter what. If Wander hadn't been there, he wouldn't trigger Hater's petiness. And Sylvia wouldn't be there either. So in a weird kind of way while making a big mess he also get them out of it. Thanks to the influence he has on others.

The Battle Royale: …Ok, he did make a lot of mistakes in this one, but at the same time… He's not entirely responsible for Hater's feelings. And if you think about it everyone would learn Dom is a girl in way or another, so maybe it's a good thing they've learned that back then rather than later? If Hater got his crush later then maybe it would end up in even bigger disaster? At least by the end of the next special they knew there was no reason in pursuing Dom. If the battle didn't happen maybe Hater would refuse to fight his crush at the end of S2? Who knows? Adding to that Wander had good intentions here, but that's Wander for ya. Also thanks to all this Peepers&Sylvia found a common ground and without it the rest of the season would be doomed.

My Fair Hatey: He admitted to his mistakes ("Realizing that is the first step to making things right."), made sure Hater wasn't left behind, and let’s not forget that his lesson was actually pretty good one. And, as I mentioned, thanks to him Peepers&Sylvia even considered teaming up and saving everyone back there (and giving Dom ice powers but that doesn't matter here).

The End of the Galaxy: Thanks to Wander it didn't end with Dominator's death. He was a distraction for Dom (as Hater put it), and he brought here to the Secret Planet for the right moment, just for our favourite Evil Doer to fight bac- protect the planet. And there's also a fact that Spoon influenced Sylvia on how to deal with doubtful Hater. He talked with Dom, revealing her insecurities, and at the end showed her a beauty of life.

Ok, I mentioned that most of Wander's development happened before the show began. Well, there were few instances hinting at his past in S2! Let's take a look:

Screwball – a figure from his past, a guy who believes is doing good, but is ultimately bad. Wander's afraid of him, willing to fight back, and ultimately loses just for Syl to step in and save the day. Wander is so, so not okay with Banana Man's actions he considers him irredeemable. Yikes.

The Hat – he tells a story of how he he saved a poor thing from the civil war. While it's interesting and pretty important for Wander, I feel like at that point he got himself pretty much figured out.

The Hole…Lotta Nuthin' deleted scene, The Legend, and that little moment in The Hot Shot – these episodes imply that Wander has no idea about his origins. Major Threat – seems like Wander has some experience in turning villains to a good side. No wonder he's so confident he'll succeed with Hater.

The Wast of Time – how. How old are you, Wander? And we learned he got his name form Syl.

The Helpless!Wander – yeah, so that happened. We've all seen that, we've all cried. Or at least sobbed a little. That was a moment where influenced Wander, that made him want to help others all the time. No one knows what exactly happened, I'm not even sure if Wander knows that. All that matters here is that he was hurting and decided once and for all he didn't want it to happen to anyone else.

So… in short Wander influences A LOT of people, driving it further home how much of a hero he is, while not being a protagonist. Sure, he made mistakes and learned from them (main episodes, “The Fremergency Fronfract”), learned that life isn't a fairy tale, and he had few weird moments (like almost letting Hater destroy him and Sylvia in "The Big Day"), he has his faults (being ignored really irritates him ehehehe) but in the end he's still Wander – good, helpful, nice, kind, full of energy, party-loving, Hat-addicted, banjo-playing, loving, stubborn, sometimes manipulative Wander. I wished that he would question his beliefs and… yeah, it kiiiiiiind of happened in the third arc, but ultimately S2 wasn't about his development – it was mostly about Hater's. Who I'm going to talk about in the next part. But S3 (that is going to happen, come on) is a fair game.

What could happen to him in the future? I'm hoping for some exploration of his past, for something that would challenge, made him question his morals, used his kindess against him big time. Yeah, I know I'm mean here but come on, imagine that character arc.

On a closing note: Hero Wander is the best thing that ever happened.

TL;DR: Wander made a lot of mess, but at the same time influenced other people to do good. Still a great guy. Still wishing for some great challenge for him.