#i just think it's also unequal and definitely not too healthy

[nicosraf]

Ok, just asking if you are open minded to it but…

What if the story goes around between God and Lucifer’s romantic story? How will they become so close and how will the other angels react to their relationship? Would you even like the relationship if they get along so well?

Hmm I’m a bit unsure what you’re asking. Do you mean, basically, what if ABM was about God x Lucifer (or, rather, what if God x Lucifer worked out) and what would happen?

To be honest, I don’t think it could have ever worked out. In ABM, their relationship is never more than predatory, though other angels don’t see it as that – why would they? Everything is good and perfect and wonderful in Heaven and God is good.

I mentioned a long time ago (?) that I was inspired by the story in Ezekiel 16 where God grooms Jerusalem (in a very literal way by making her enter puberty), marries her, then becomes wrathful when she falls in love with someone else and discovers her beauty, then assaults her in punishment.

But this is’t really the only instance where God has a weird romantic/sexual relationship with someone that is very obviously unhealthy. Mary comes to mind. Since I was young I always found the story of Mary’s pregnancy to be very odd (in Mexico, Mary is especially very very venerated.) Some people argue that Mary was too young; I haven’t seen the sources for that, so I can’t say if it’s true, but regardless of her age, I feel creating a perfect girl without sin to carry your child once she’s old enough to be uncomfortable. Some argue that it was all consensual, (Gabriel asked Mary and she said yes), but realistically, why would a young and impoverished woman say no to what could have changed her life for the better? Isn’t there a very obvious and clear power imbalance here? Mary having been born pure also leads to the conclusion that this was all pre-ordained anyway. Catholics’ obsession with her “perpetual virginity” (despite biblical lines that reference other children (Matthew 13)) and purity make it all feel borderline predatory on God’s part, in my opinion; I’m not even going to get into the fact that he’s also her Father.

On that note, there’s not a healthy way for God to have a relationship at all, is there? He can make you do anything, his safety as a partner is entirely contingent on his mercy, he knows everything about you, and he made you. He made you knowing you’d love him, he made you love him.

But the question is about Lucifer x God, and I think there’s an alternate ending where Michael doesn’t exist, Lucifer never learns any basic self respect, and he falls in love with God romantically. I think this would be a horror story. God is incapable of being a good partner, Lucifer acts like an obsessed servant, and the other angels would justify God’s actions because to say God is being, in easier terms, a creep is completely unimaginable. They don’t understand it, don’t have the language for it. And that’s it. An eternity of abuse with no one able to call it out. (Except Uriel, but Uriel would probably look away and pretend it isn’t happening).

You asked if I’m open-minded to it, and well, it’s definitely something I think about. The romantic idea of God making a most beautiful and perfect creation (like a lonely Dr. Frankenstein desperate for a lover) isn’t lost on me. I’m always struck by how Satan and God chat in the Book of Job (it feels very cute to me). But God is God and there is only one God and love can’t be unequal (in my opinion). Maybe if Lucifer indeed became a god, maybe.

[splitttting]

im not sure you love me as much as you think you do, and i think i hate myself for letting myself fall this far this quickly.

i used to respect myself and i feel like ive reduced myself to this drooling damsel ready to come apart at the seams at the slightest hint of your rejection.

i don't think you even realize how much id do for you and im not sure you understand what love is anymore. i thought you did but after today im scared im an object of idealization

objectively you did nothing wrong -- but surely hurting my feelings counts as doing something wrong? you didn't seem to care much until i told you i needed space

i think im overthinking it, you're just as human as i am and this is something we have to navigate together

but id be remiss if i didn't keep an eye on this. is it possible to make myself love you less so it's even? it's not your fault it's unequal.

im scared that this was a mistake, i have so much to lose compared to you and i have fallen so hard so fast i feel like ive gotten friction burns.

you're a fully human person and you definitely are entitled to being human in my presence -- in fact i revel in your humanity, anything to break this fucking veneer that my subconscious has thrown up of you

but i am becoming afraid to trust you so fully and to have given you so much of myself. i need to retreat, relax, take it less seriously. as my angel has said it's only been a week and there's simply no reason to treat it as anything more than that.

even though you're on my mind so often, swirling like a potion, even though ive imagined our future together so many times

i think the truth is we jumped into this too quickly-- and i don't regret it now, but im afraid i will in the future--

left alone, as old as I've ever been, with nothing tangible to remind me that you ever loved me except the writings in this blog.

i think the gray area that i need to remain in is: stay warm but not suffocating, give some things but not everything, and don't part with any pieces of yourself unless they are given in an exchange.

i said id do anything for you but does that include staying out of my damn brain for a bit?

*there's no organizing to this post I'm just rambling* also your apologies genuinely mean nothing to me but im stuck on how they felt like a taunt today. it was like you were using them as a vehicle to communicate apathy for my feelings... i need to figure out a healthy way to tell you id rather just not hear them at all anymore bc i hate that passive aggressive thing.

I'm just over myself someone come hit me with a shovel

[ceasedtimea]

So, it’s something I’ve wanted to touch on for a while now, and I guess I’ve been putting it off out of lack of the right words, or perhaps not wanting to offend anybody with my own opinions, however I guess it’s time to sum up my bittersweet relationship with Chris-Crossed and personal feelings on the matter of Chris and Bianca.

Before I begin though, I would like to point out I DO NOT HATE BIANCA, quite on the contrary, I ACTUALLY LOVE HER CHARACTER, and I think she had a lot of potential, that kind of went to waste because of at best sloppy writing of Charmed in season six.

Alright, so now when we have that out of the way, let me introduce you to a few points and thoughts I have on this, hopefully making some sense. Let’s break this down.

CHRIS-CROSSED. The reason I have issues with Chris-Crossed is very much mainly the inconsistency with Chris’s writing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an ongoing issue especially the further the show proceeds ; I am also very aware a person acts differently around different people, and for different reasons. However, with only one episode to showcase a quick look into the reality Chris comes from (which I still love despite everything), I don’t think they made quite sensible choices when it comes to character continuity, seeing as Chris behaves very out of character for much of the episode.

MY POINT. Basically, I didn’t like the way their relationship was written in, resorting to a cheap love interest plot that had the character act ooc. Now, before you get mad at me ; Bianca wasn’t actually, in my opinion, rendered to a cheap love interest  ——  just and episodic character with wasted potential. The love interest was made out of Chris, who up until that point in time expressed clear manipulative nature, very clear-headed, calculated actions, and definite of emotional attachment (which with knowing where he came from makes a lot of sense), however rendering him to this…  lost person who needed love for the humanity factor.

MY VIEW ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP. Now again, don’t get me wrong, I love Bianca. I think she had so much potential, and I think many people would agree with me that she also deserved much better than she got. The thing is, however, with Charmed being very much a 90s family show that paid very little regard towards mental issues, or the characters’ backgrounds, or even the rules of the world that given the circumstances were always different, their story wasn’t really developed in a way that made much sense. That being said, I think it was far more complicated than what we received, as well as beneficial to both sides, with a spark of kindred spirits in very extreme and traumatic circumstances.

HOW I THINK IT PLAYED OUT. Listen, they were both trapped in the world created by Wyatt, with difficult pasts and very little control over their own lives. They both had a part to play, and the beginning of their relationship wasn’t brought by fate, but by Wyatt himself. See, Chris was difficult, resilient, and that’s enough to understand he must have spent at least some time by Wyatt’s side. And Wyatt to somehow prompt his change, decides to send his trusted assassin to turn Chris ; but with Chris already knowing how to survive in this horrible world does him a disservice and instead turns Bianca. Resulting in only ever trusting her, in hiding with her when he was planning his journey to the past. All the way up to a relationship. Keep in mind, it was 100% Chris’s plan because consider sensibly, despite what the episode provided  ——  why would Bianca care with what happened to Wyatt, if Wyatt never did her any favours, and was no family to her.

SOME TRUTHS & REASONING. When you consider where they come from, and what their past is, their scenes in the episode start having more sense, and why what was between them is suddenly more interesting, reasonable, and in my opinion, better.     ——  First of all, keep in mind Bianca was a couple of years older than Chris. She was already a young girl when Chris wasn’t even conceived, which considering the fact it all played out sometime from when he was sixteen to nineteen and onwards, it had to play some part in it.    ——  Given Chris’s past, and everything we know (or don’t know) about him, it’s safe to sayChris was beyond traumatized, and filled with loss, as well as displaying extreme trust issues, and with a good reason. That left very little capacity for love and trust during that time, especially if he had to fend for himself, and his own survival (and I truly believe it was the same for her).    ——  You do, however, need to trust someone sometime, and I think the beginning of everything was Chris deciding to take a risk. I  think especially the beginnings of their relationship weren’t very healthy. I personally believe it was simply a mutually beneficial relationship, with a side of Chris displaying a lot of his (canon) manipulative behaviors, that keep in mind must have been much worse considering the kind of world he lived in.    ——  It’s only from there that feelings grew, as complicated as they were. I think they found many mutual goals, as well as some comfort in having someone in a world in which people like them couldn’t really afford it. I think that was how loyalty shifted from Wyatt to Chris, especially since he made a compelling case ; then again shifted towards mutual loyalty, before feelings started to grow, essentially rendering each other perhaps the only true allies, a warm body in the face of painful loneliness, and soon a makeshift, broken family.    ——  Finally, in terms of engagement, my logic here is much like behind Chris being solely the planning party behind everything, opposed to the way Chris-Crossed displayed. I truly believe that was actually a bit of a desperate move on Chris’s side, and while I also will continue to say he meant it, it was a bit of a manipulative move. I am not afraid to admit my muse being problematic. Now, consider this ; that’s a promise of many things, and above all loyalty. Considering what Chris’s plan was, I am certain he was very aware he would most likely not come back, and especially not to a world such as he left it, if things worked out. There were literally only two options ; he goes back to a changed reality (for the sake of his brother), or he dies. I guess both happened. But if he is leaving her behind, it’s better to leave hope. And that’s why it hurt even more when she appeared in the past. Because it was a betrayal, although understood from the point of knowing who Wyatt was ; but still, a betrayal.

MATTER OF LOVE. Now, we’re coming to a point that I think is the most important to me. I do strongly believe Chris loved Bianca, in his own way, true to his own ability for that feeling. However, seeing as after everything he has been through, his capacity for it was low at best, it was never as easy, as simple, or truly as healthy as it could have been if the world wasn’t shit. I think what Chris valued the most, very much outside of the romantic factors, was the friendship they shared, the fact that as paranoid and unable to trust (for good reasons) as he was, he still had that one person he could trust. That he could turn to, and work with, and finally even find comfort with in terms of emotional, as well as physical support.     Which is also why Bianca’s death truly, genuinely upset Chris on a very deep level, as she remained the last person he cared about to have died on him. I think on some deep level he expected something like that to happen either way, which along with having a lot of practice with people close to him dying (often in his arms), as usual he couldn’t let this bring him away from his initial goal. One which always remained his priority.     Finally, I also strongly believe Bianca loved him a little more than he loved her. As I said, for Chris doing what he went back to do was his main priority, and something he was ready, and did end up sacrificing everything for. Bianca didn’t really seem to have anyone but Chris, but for Chris there was always still that  ——  and of course his brother, who despite doing him no good, being turned evil, and despite better judgement, remained Chris’s only family, and therefore someone he cared about, and wanted to save despite everything.

AFTER DARK FUTURE. Well, this gets a little tricky. I strongly believe their maybe in the Changed Future probably wouldn’t happen. If they met at all, I don’t think (considering their age and affiliation) it would be something that would last. Perhaps they’d grow close, perhaps they wouldn’t, maybe they’d end up together for a while, but I think their story is very much meant to remain in the Dark Future. I don’t think it’s a love that would essentially lead to a long-lasting relationship, and frankly I am more inclined to believe they’d remain close in another way. Or not, but that entirely depends. I also believe that because of my headcanon Chris ends up remembering the Dark Future on his 23rd birthday (aka the day he died in the past),I think he’d rather leave that chapter in the past for both of their sakes.

TO SUM IT UP! I wanted to put this out there, because it’s primarily the headcanon I will always use for myself. It doesn’t at all mean I don’t want to rp with any Biancas or anything, quite on the contrary. I would die to develop this relationship, to explore it, and I am also by no means closing up my options for the endgame part, and definitely not the ship part, it’s just Chris is a very difficult and essentially broken person  ——  and that strongly depends on chemistry that would follow.

[burst-of-iridescent]

Hi, so just starting off by saying that I despise the comics and L*K. Character and plot assassination at its finest. However, I did read some of the Imbalance comic. And I will say that, like the other comics, it’s not well-written in the slightest. That being said, if we’re being comic critical here, I can actually see some points being made for KA in that comic. Aang actually going out of his way to comfort Katara for once? Aang admitting that Katara was right, that he listened to her, and that the city needs both of their help, when she says that the city needs only him? Bryke’s incel self-insert would NEVER. It genuinely had me confused when I read it the first time ngl. Then I realized that the comic was written by a woman, and it suddenly all made sense why their relationship was a lot more equal in ways that the show never gave us. Obviously, whatever small amount of growth the comic gave to their relationship is null because the other comics and LOK exists. But yeah, I genuinely think if the ship was written like this (where both of them are older and the romance is a lot more subtle but they are both on equal terms, a lot of people wouldn’t have problems with KA. Just wondering if you’ve seen those parts and what are your thoughts on it?

i've heard that the comics do (retroactively) try to fix kat.aang by addressing some of the issues pointed out in the original show, like giving katara more agency, making her a more equal partner in the relationship (like you pointed out) and having aang explicitly ask for consent, and good on them for trying, but it's just too little too late. not only are the other comics also terrible to ka (*cough* love is a battlefield, the promise, whichever one it is where katara just sits sad and neglected by the side while aang shows off to his fangirls) the original show still exists and that cannot be salvaged. besides, reading and taking the comics as canon means accepting the most bullshit character assassinations, and getting a marginally more tolerable kat.aang just isn't worth that tradeoff.

but i think you hit the nail on the head to say that if the ship had been written with both of them being older and on more equal terms, many people would've been far more okay with it. i've said multiple times that kat.aang was never doomed from the start (the way mai.ko was) and it was a deliberate writing choice to make them not work.

in my opinion, four things had to be done to make kat.aang a palatable and healthy ship:

katara and aang needed to be on the same maturity level, preferably through having aang actually undergo growth. the reason i enjoy book 1 kat.aang is because i think this is the season where katara and aang are the closest in maturity, but the gap between them grows wider as the show continues and hits its peak in book 3, right when they get together. this makes their relationship feel unequal and imbalanced, and makes aang impossible to buy as a romantic partner, because we see him only as a child.

there had to be a give and take on both ends. this means seeing aang give actual emotional support to katara (especially in the southern raiders), and katara stop mothering aang. aang comes from a monastic culture, so having him just naturally help katara with cooking/cleaning/etc because he's used to being in an environment where everyone pitches in would've been a great way to establish katara and aang as a feasible couple who would work well together. i would also most definitely have had katara and aang bond over being the last of their respective benders, because this is something only the other would've truly been able to understand. it would have showed us that katara and aang get and help each other in ways that no other characters can.

the relationship had to be framed from both katara and aang's point of view, not just aang's. scrap the ridiculous will‐they‐won't‐they and just show us that katara is actually interested in aang. have aang be presented from katara's view the same way jet is, the same way she is from aang's. have moments that show us why katara would like aang (see point 2) and for the love of all that's good and holy, do not make katara a voiceless reward for aang's efforts. she deserves just as much say in her romantic relationship as aang does. one of my favourite episodes is the cave of two lovers even though it's so kat.aang heavy because it actually does this reasonably well. katara initiates their romantic interaction, blushes thinking about it, and actually seems to be into it.

take out the chakra blocking plot point. kat.aang was already bad in universe, but making their relationship an external narrative problem just fucked them over both in and out of universe. kat.aang became a huge stumbling block in aang's character arc, was never resolved satisfactorily, and overall contributed nothing to either the ship's or the plot's development (unless another ship was supposed to be endgame)

of course, i also wouldn't have made aang an incel who felt entitled to katara's affections and forced his romantic affections on her, but maybe that's just me.

[ititledit]

Saw a comment on a post claiming monogamy is part of the patriarchy and so polyamory is feminist praxis.

Monogamy isn't patriarchal in itself, but I think can be mistakenly seen as such because of its ties to

- nuclear families

- dowries

- valuing virginity

- taking a husband's surname

- unequal division of labor within a m/f relationship

- "traditional values", conservatism, right wing people

This list could be much longer, but the important part is, that the concepts listed above are not integral to monogamy. Interestingly, it's actually quite hard to find a definition of monogamy that doesn't mention marriage, but in 21st century English, monogamy is "having an emotional/sexual relationship with only one person at a time". (Aren't friendships "emotional relationships" though? Most people know what the difference in these emotions are, we just don't have words in English to separate romantic love and friendship love).

Last year, I bought a house with my bf and another couple. Both couples are monogamous, but we share household tasks, cooking, cleaning, with a rota and schedule. We eat together regularly, but also have time to ourselves and a lot of friends and hobbies outside of our home.

We are able to support eachother emotionally and with our actions, but we nurture a special (and sexual) bond only with one partner.

We made the choice to buy together after living together during the pandemic. We lived together before that, but surviving that awful experience, we trusted we could survive more.

Living with friends is seen by Western society as a transitional period (/only option to move out from parents) until you meet one person and "settle down", living just with them.

But this nuclear family set up cuts off our support networks, weakens our friendships and for many women, turns them into domestic servants, even if they're already working full time outside of the home.

Meanwhile, Polyamory as an alternative requires you to form romantic/sexual relationships with multiple people. This requires emotional dedication to multiple people, and I don't see how it can be possible to maintain this with them all, and have a healthy lifestyle of friendships, work, hobbies, activism...

And every person I have known in real life who was polyamorus has used it as an excuse to behave badly. Hitting on people who are monogamous, manipulating people who aren't comfortable with it, and generally men using it as a cover to have more sex and not commit to caring for someone. ("Blar, blar, blar, women do it too, blar blar, it's not just about sex, blar blar," I don't care, this is what I have repeatedly seen happen).

Just because something is part of the status quo doesn't mean it is fundamentally patriarchal. And just because something is "new" or "counterculture", doesn't mean is isn't just a new way for men to maintain their power.

[voliyu]

An Interview with Fu Hua's CV( Miss Mace )

Mace, a seiyuu of HI3 V4.6"Unequaled Unrivaled" , has a variety of different styles of voice, and is well known by the majority of captains as the seiyuu of the popular character Fu Hua in "Honkai Impact 3". 

"I like dubbing, food, sleeping and posting beautiful girls, and I also do some modeling work and live streaming."

Seiyuu: Fu Hua (HI3rd) Fischl , Albedo (GI)

Hello everyone, this is Moonlight Sauce.  Recently, the animated short film "Duchen"(Shattered Samsara) was launched, and Fu Hua will also celebrate hers birthday next week. We are honored to invite the class monitor’s voice actress to be our guest again. Let us applaud~Teacher Ma!

*Hello everyone, I am Mace or you can call me teacher Ma or Little Ma~*

Q: I heard that Teacher Ma is a veteran member of voice acting. Why did you think about becoming a voice actor?

Mace: It was probably when I was at school, the teacher praised me for reading the text well, hahaha, and then I have been a in small broadcasting at the school radio station hahahahahaha.  Later, at the age of thirteen or fourteen, I loved reading novels, and listened to radio dramas. Finally, I wanted to try online dubbing by myself~ I met some seniors and friends on the Internet. After graduating from high school, I was called to audition by Laiqi, whom I met by chance, just like this, slowly embarked on the road of voice actors~

Q: It's great to be able to fulfill your childhood dreams!

Q: Speaking of which, the captains of Honkai 3 would have known Teacher Ma through Fu Hua, so how did you get this role in the first place?

Mace: Each role is determined through auditions~ It may be that the voice is more suitable (maybe luck), in short, I am very grateful to the project team for choosing me TAT. I seemed to be still in my sophomore year. A very young newcomer, thank you Ah Fu for accompanying me to grow up over the years.

Q: Although Fu Hua version 2.0 was officially installed, the 1.1 version chronicles chapter Xuanyuan sword you has already appeared in the game, and she can be regarded as an official playable character. Has Teacher Ma any particularly impressive lines in the past four years?

Mace: "Major Himeko, let me guide the task this time" is the first Fu Hua's voice recorded during the audition. This is the first time I know her!

Q: As Fu Hua’s voice actress, does Teacher Ma have any views on the character?

Mace: When I first met Fu Hua, everyone and i had similar impressions of her, a little dull, serious and very reliable.  But afterwards, the feelings for Fu Hua became more and more complicated. In the honkai world, she was firm and strong. As long as she was there, we would feel at ease; but all her friends would always leave her, and the memories would be needed give up in order to stay awake.  She is an immortal who exists only for guardianship, she hardly reveals her own thoughts, and rarely has contact with others.  As one of her few friends, the captain naturally feels very distressed TAT

Q: You really speaks out for all the captains.

Q: Regarding the Herrscher of Sentience, everyone seems to treat her as an independent character different from Fu Hua. What does Teacher Ma think of her?

Mace: In the script, when we first saw the herrscher, it was the beginning of Chapter 20. At that time, she hadn't become the herrscher of Sentience yet. The impression of her should be strange: what she did is very different from that of Fu Hua, but she feels herself is Fu Hua.  Now I think she is a child, with a very cute side, she firmly believe that what she do is right, and she also hope that others will admit that she is a good person. I really like her self-confidence and easygoing~

Q: If you think about it carefully, there was a big difference between the tone of the Herrscher of Sentience and Fu Hua. Has Teacher Ma encountered any difficulties during the dubbing process?

Mace: The most recent challenge should be the combat voice of the HoS. In addition to the weapon box, she has a total of four weapons. Each weapon has basic attack combos and branch attacks. The basic attack combos of several weapons are probably separate.  Under 6-8, we will give 3 versions as alternatives or replacements for every breath.  It's very difficult, the combination of prefixes is too difficult to think about! We have used most of the ones that can be used. It is not surprising that it is not easy to think of something new.

Q: Teacher Ma is also a veteran captain. Do you have any stories you like or impress?

Mace: If it is only to Fu Hua, it would be the farewell of Fuxi and Nuwa. At that time, I really felt sorry for her TAT.

Mace: If it's other character relates to Fu Hua, it’s definitely the last lesson. When dubbing, there is a sense of immersive feeling: "Major Himeko, gratitude for your lessons. Perhaps fate will let our paths cross again in the future..."

Q: Mihoyo is really good at breaking our hearts.

Q: Teacher Ma often uses Fu hua characters when playing HI3, right? Which battle suit do you like best?

Mace: Shadow knight~ When I was very very playing the game so hard(and also very good at the same time), she made me feel as if I might not be so good!

( I'm invincible now )

Q: Fu Hua's long life can be divided into several stages. Which period does Teacher Ma like best?

Mace: In the previou era, she had made good friends, she had noodles.  She was happy and free during that time.  There was no honkai, no sacrifice, no mission, and it’s great to be able to joking with friends easily and be an ordinary girl.

Q: Regarding the recently launched animated short film "Duchen"(Shattered Samsara), many captains were emotional after watching it. Does Miss, Ma have similar feelings?

Mace: Kiana has grown up, I'm so happy to see Fu Hua's journeys along the way, Also I was happy and sad and plus with Rubia song, QAQ crying~~~~ I'm so fortunate to participate in such an excellent work.

Q: The last part is still the usual question: If there is a chance to cross Fu Hua's side, what era would Teacher Ma want to go to and what would you want to say to Fu Hua?

Mace: I would say, after the little book die?  But after thinking about it, it doesn't matter. I want to say something to her and stay with her for a while. I don’t know when I would leave her again. It’s too cruel... It’s also good to know her in Hyperion as a captain. I don’t know where our story will go, but I Will always love her.

Q: The story of Fu Hua and the Herrscher of Sentience has come to conclusions here, Teacher Ma, could you give some blessings words for them please~

Mace: I hope Ah Fu is healthy, happy, and spends more time taking care of herself; I hope my little herrscher can resist the honkai and be recognized by everyone, and mommy loves you!  No matter where you go, you have your place on my bridge!

Q: The interview is coming to an end. Is there anything Teacher Ma wants to say to everyone?

Mace: Thank you everyone for loving and supporting Ah Fu, and Little Ma~ I wish you Happy Chinese New Year every one!

(it's not 100% accurate but hope you enjoy~)

[tundrainafrica]

So I see your a LeviHan shipper!! I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?? Maybe you could explain that a little through a list? But anyways I hope your week has been good so far, Sav. Have a good day/night!!!! - Signed by Your Secret Santa 🎄

Hello! Thank you for asking about my week (and my ship). 

I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite? 

To answer that first question...

You’re in for a long rollercoaster ride of a rant because I don’t think I’m the type of person to ship anything to the point of writing domestic fluff fics unless the I felt really really drawn to the ship. 

Anyway, (slight) spoilers abound! Will keep manga spoilers subtle, mostly Levihan scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

1. The ship did not move the plot. The plot moved the ship.

Attack on Titan is not a romance or a shojo, if it’s not fairly obvious from any chapter you would randomly read. As a reader, I would have expected it to fall short with pairings. Most shows which are not romance based tend to have a few pairings which just suddenly end up together towards the end of the manga because “What’s a happy ending without marriage and kids?” There is usually a trend of just pairing of the extras and sometimes, or maybe even more often than not, it just seems to come out of nowhere (ehem... Naruto.). Maybe the relationship worked off screen but I dunno. Like no shipping war here but the only pairing I had full support for was Shikatema. 

In stories classified as romances, there is enough of a spotlight on the sexual tension and mutual pining of specific characters for the romance to be considered reasonable. In my opinion, some authors tend to sacrifice really good world building for a good romance. Objectively twilight for example had some crazy good world building but it just kinda focused a little too much on emo Bella and emo Edward for the world building to actually be appreciated by the casual reader. Tbh though, this is not necessarily bad because people get into stuff for reasons, sometimes, I just wanna read a good fantasy, sometimes I just wanna read a good romance.

Romances though as a main driving point for narratives, require some convenient serendipity moments and sexual tension which can be written well but as a reader, I prefer to see more natural relationships born out of necessity (Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is a good example of what I’m talking about in a romance novel.)

Attack on Titan through its narrative actually made Levihan seem VERY VERY possible. If I had to compare the presentation of this ship in canon to at least one relationship in other anime, I would compare it to Royai from FMA. 

Like, if Attack on Titan didn’t give us random subtle hints about romantic or just platonic relationships between the two or even about anyone, even if Levi and Hange did get together in the end, it would have been one of the pairings, I probably wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at. 

But they could be just friends? Which brings me to my next point.

2. Their current situation makes it so it’s only natural that at the least, they considered it. 

Yes. Friends is a valid interpretation for anything. I mean, given our hook up culture, people can fuck as friends too. People probably have made out drunk as friends too. Like I have seen my fair share of this type of bullshit in high school and college and I would say, we do not need a kiss or a fucking session to recognize that something can be a good relationship or to recognize that they have probably thought about it. 

A relationship requires a commitment (conscious or unconscious) to caring for the other, keeping the other safe, recognizing their flaws and thinking about them regularly (Call me scott peck or marriage counselor but like I honestly think the world would be a better place once people recognize that quality romantic relationships are worked for).

Mind you, Levi and Hange lost everything.They literally lost everything from their old life, all their friends, all their loved ones and all they have is each other and they’re forced to take care of a bunch of kids.

There are people who have said before, no one gets very close with someone without ever considering a romantic relationship with them. Or even if they never considered it romantic, they could consider at least “living with them their whole life,” or “supporting them through thick and thin.” The things is, towards the end, they were constantly together and what drove them to that situation is that both of them are aware of what the other had lost. They understood each other more than anyone else and they recognized that they were the only ones left in their own circle and I personally think that is more than enough for a relationship to naturally bloom between them.

3. The relationship and the signs are subtle and it works.

I personally probably would not have enjoyed it if canon showed a romantic relationship of the two after Erwin died. It’s a valid interpretation to consider that it could have happened, based on my explanation for number 2 but Hange is commander, Levi is captain. They have a professional relationship and they have goals and obligations which take precedence over personal desires. They are in the middle of a war and the most which probably could have happened was a secret mutual pining between the two and I think Isayama has injected the most subtle hints which are the most that could have been appropriately put into canon without seeming too OOC. Hange and Levi are not selfish people. They have promises, dreams and obligations which they respect and have committed themselves to already. It has also been shown at earlier points of the manga that they do put their survey corps duties on top of everything so acting on a romantic attraction at that point in time would have definitely been inappropriate. 

I personally think, the scenes of Hange going out of her way to save Levi as commander, killing her other soldiers to save both their asses, suggesting in the forest that they live together instead of go back to the war and not leaving an injured Levi until she had no choice were more powerful than a lot of romantic scenes where people actually fuck and kiss. Kissing and fucking are easy. Leaving the duties and responsibilities they have worked for for five years to keep the person they love alive hits way harder. 

Call it platonic. Call it romantic. But no one like Hange would have deserted her post as commander for a few chapters to take care of a sick comrade and kill her subordinates to save their asses if there wasn’t anything between them. 

4. It gives a great example what healthy relationships can come from. 

I grew up reading sweet valley and chick lits cause I was a basic bitch and I kinda grew up with a somehow unrealistic idea of where relationships come from. Call me a late bloomer but I only actually figured out where the romance and the happiness of a relationship was when I got into one with my best friend for five years. 

It’s the sexual tension and the “will they wont they?” push and pull which can lead to satisfying sex or a happy ending in romance novels. I think in a way, media kinda overglorifies it which kinda gives a lot of young people the wrong idea about why they getting into a relationship is fun in the first place.  Because after the satisfying sex and the kids, what’s next for the relationship?

Years of utility bills, diapers, chores, schedules, parent teacher conferences and compromises until someone gives up or dies. And what kind of relationships can actually thrive through all these? 

Those that have mastered the underrated parts of relationships. These include conflict resolutions, compromises and open communication. I think we have seen enough of those two, even before season 3 that have shown that they know each other very well and they have shown to at least have a relatively equal power dynamic which is a foundation for open communication and mutual trust in relationships even beyond the fucking and marriage stage 

5. They have a great foundation of character development for both parties.

As I mentioned above, they have a relatively equal power dynamic. I love Royai from FMA and I have compared Royai to this multiple times. I would say though I prefer Levihan over Royai because I felt that Royai had more unequal power dynamics? (Though I still think Royai is a top tier ship ). Also, they have shown to tell off the other when they don’t like what the other is doing. They are complete opposites but here is the magical thing. They talk everything out. They’re generally open people to each other and they know each other way too well as hinted in scenes before and opposites work as long as the others are willing to compromise. I think (especially in season 3 and season 4) that they have done enough for each other and have compromised enough for each other in the survey corps that these skills could easily be brought with them even after the war.

That open communication is just what makes them maintaining a relationship while being complete opposites very OC and realistic. Eventually, they did probably did make compromises, which most likely softened or moderated the crazy parts of their personalities which is just a really fun part of their relationship to explore. 

6. It could realistically last so maybe ...

7. A good foundation for happy children?

Maybe it’s how it is written because of the actual story and why would Yams write a romantic drama in a story about genocide and war. Tbh, I would attribute it more to Levi and Hange’s personalities though because Mikasa and Eren have their fair share of drama, mostly one sided though coz Mikasa. This relationship has no drama, no misunderstandings which just further supports my point that they have a relationship that thrives on open communication and mutual trust. Drama is fun like when we’re the ones on the sidelines eating the popcorn but I have third wheeled enough people in my life to realize that I will not support a relationship where both parties are just not ready to be mature about it, in real life and in fiction. 

My favorite couples, in real life and in fiction, are definitely those who keep conflict among themselves and maybe among trusted people. I think one sign of a healthy relationship is one where problems don’t become public through social media or through like 20 people. One important yet underrated part of relationships is the atmosphere of comfort and freedom which encourages both parties to be able to directly approach one another before tensions and uncertainties get out of hand.  

And a life free of dramas at least in the early stages of life just kinda shows at least that both parties are ready to bring a new life to the world? Because like immature parents with shitty conflict resolution skills really fuck kids up man and I passionately believe the world would really be a better place if babies were born out of trust, mutual understanding and open communication instead of sex but yeah, make sex fun to keep our race alive.

So anyway, I guess, I just finished explaining why I love this ship so much while also disclosing my preferences for relationships. 

As mentioned above...

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

Other pairings which I support for those curious: Shikatema, Royai, Victuuri, Percabeth etc.

Also... To answer your second question... 

My week has been great, some pretty solid life developments but US elections wise, not so great... (WHY IS THE ELECTION RACE SO CLOSE?)

[petsitting123-blog]

Doggie Walking for a Located

As seasons go, summer time drives by far typically the most career changes. Which hardly a surprise. Looking on one perfect sunny day after a further via at the rear of the uninspiring landscape of our workstations, few are usually the people who is able to say they've never provided a thought to being some sort of river guide, a rancher, a deckhand on a high-class layer. For numerous dog lovers, individuals rosy-tinged, outdoorsy dreams concern dog walking. A life regarding simple days, surrounded by means of nature in addition to happy pooches-but in reality, will be certainly a great deal more to the career. Persons from every thinkable vocation-lawyers and computer coders, gross sales reps and accountants, nursing staff and writers, ex-military personnel and classical musicians-give upward their previous, typically really successful, careers to be able to wander other people's pups. And of course, pet sittingif you love dogs and praise the outdoors, if anyone desire to get your personal boss and don't mind being your own business director, marketing exec, and customer satisfaction representative to footwear, dog taking walks just might be for you. In spite of this, if this seems as simple as slapping a leash with a few dogs and going on a stroll you'll likely always be astonished. In today's densely populated, greatly regulated, in addition to litigious planet, in which will people's pets are usually vital to the family such as by no means before, good, secure dog walking demands technical expertise, physical stamina, and in-depth knowledge of almost everything from puppy behavior and even pack control to doggy first aid plus piste social grace. There are positive aspects, of course. The flexibility, for one thing-a pet master starts your ex working day from whatever moment fits her and hasn't got in order to dress up for work. For another, there's the particular regular shower of adore. In every single house on his route, your pet dog jogger is greeted by his charges with the eagerness quite unequaled by way of anything at all known in the business world. And for typically the type of man best suited for dog jogging, the time on the particular trail-or at the sea or doggie park-is the particular it most worthwhile. Aside from this evident physical and mental health advantages of fresh weather, exercise, together with being through a tranquil natural setting up for hours any time, some walkers talk involving the particular sheer satisfaction connected with observing dogs romp in addition to work together. For anyone along with an interest in doggie behavior, dog walking is fertile study ground, with all its unconstrained play plus pack conversation far through this busy streets involving the metropolis. That, nevertheless, bring us about what canine walkers often rank as the worst part associated with the job: the generating. The grind of heading from residence to home to collect dogs is fine at the outset, although it dons you decrease over time-how many joyful taxi individuals have anyone met in your lifetime? Most dog walkers keep your driving to a good minimal by choosing customers inside a confined geographical spot and timing their driving a car cycles to avoid heavy traffic. Nevertheless, if you aren't considering dog going for walks seeing that a career, assume to spend at least as much time in your car because on the trail. When traffic is impossible to control, so is the weather, and as together with any outdoor work, undersirable climate produces its own set associated with tests for dog walkers. Drenched, muddy dogs have got to be cleaned out right up before they can possibly be make back into their particular homes, so count toweling off together with perhaps hosing down each one dog as well as washing tons of dirty towels as part of often the task, too. And ultimately there's this loneliness built in in some sort of job of which comprises nominal human get in touch with. These are the pros in addition to cons most people develop when they consider puppy going for walks. Freedom, exercise, and even doggy love are the particular major extras, and too much driving, occasional awful weather, and scant human contact are the disadvantages. Of which, however, is certainly not all you can find to dog walking. For starters, it can be a business like just about any different and as this sort of it involves paperwork, client service, marketing, accounting, and so forth, all of which the walker has to find moment for outside of often the several hours he or your woman stays walking and even driving a vehicle. Subsequently, it is the popular misconception that dog jogging is easy. The idea is, if you are jogging two arthritic dachshunds you are aware well, although that will won't pay the lease. Or even the film tickets. No doubt this kind of fallacy stems from this humble beginnings involving puppy walking. Once after this 1950s and 60s we simply paid the little one decrease the streets a buck to get Fido out there for you. As all of us have packed into tighter urban spaces, the challenges involved with little Jimmy walking Jojo no longer allow for that solution, nevertheless pet owners have even less time to walk Tiger, who needs normal, vigorous exercise over and above what they can get in our smaller in addition to smaller backyards. Hence often the birth of professional canine going for walks. And a expert is what it will take to help safely navigate six to be able to eight rambunctious dogs by way of densely booming places and heavily made use of natural spaces. As Kim Moeller, a experienced dog jogger and even trainer, puts it, "To manage and coach some sort of group of dogs is definitely much more tough in comparison with people realize. Not anyone is usually surprised that teaching a new sled dog group demands expert knowledge in addition to talent. I don't know exactly why anyone thinks dog walking is different. " Several walkers start out along with just their particular summer aspirations, a fancy of pups, and the connection with going for walks their own pets, together with soon recognize the career is definitely also about doggie training in addition to being liable for the safety of someone else's beloved pet. Really about interacting with additional trek users (some regarding whom are not canine lovers) inside a responsible model and finding the appropriate entitlements and insurance policies, knowing whenever and how to decline a good client whose doggy would fit badly with your particular pack and being aware of what to do if some sort of fight fractures out with the trail, structuring your current route to cut low on driving a car time together with gasoline consumption, etc. Regardless of the challenges, a good deal of canine walkers believe they have the perfect work in the world. A single jogger once told us, "My worst day about the trail is better than the best moment inside my old job. very well It really is pointed out very rarely what a great share dog walkers make in order to the quality of existence in the dogs they function. Rather than being home solely all the time, these dogs are given essential exercise in addition to social connections, which just isn't just healthy and balanced, it keeps dogs safe as well as in long lasting homes, too. Research shows that will many dogs given back up or returned to shelters exist because of standard expressions regarding boredom or maybe lack of training: screaming, chewing, excess strength, plus so on. Dogs are usually doing their particular level right to fit into our twenty-first century routines, the least we can do in return would be to take his or her physical and even mental overall health critically. Which means entrusting your current pet to a expert.

Business Name: Pretty Poodle Dog Services

Address: 1805 Jasmine Trl. Savannah, Tx 76227

Email: info@prettypoodledogservices.com

Description: Providing quality pet care services that you can trust

Website:www.prettypoodledogservices.com

[mssapphire]

Being emotionally responsible: what the hell does that mean? or answering ‘what have you got to offer?’

This post was intended to be a draft because I had some cohesive thoughts looping around my head and I thought it’d be nice to write them down so I could come back to them when I did decide to write a Serious Post (Serious Post like Serious Steven) about it, but I got carried away and the Serious Post just happened.

When you move around non-monogamous circles there’s a phrase that tends to be repeated (but not thoroughly explained, because that’s not what Insta is for): “it’s not about how many people you’re with (simultaneously), it’s about how many people you can actually care for/take care of”, which is a nice way to phrase what is also called “sexo-affective responsibility”. Let’s unpack that.

To me, that’s nothing but a fancier way of saying that you need to know your own limitations and how much capacity and room you actually have in your life to sustain relationships healthily (re: having the time is not the same as having capacity). It’s also based on a very simple common sense principle: you need to relate consciously to people. You should know yourself enough to be aware of your needs and wants, and invest the time and effort in those people who can actually help you grow and heal - and this is not something that just happens spontaneously, but something you think about, weigh, ponder, consider and decide to do.

Giving yourself that time and space to properly assess your capacity is what is going to allow you to decide what type of relationships you should have. And, if you do your homework right, you’ll understand sooner rather than later that there is a lot of bullshit we don’t need in relationships. That there are relationships not worth having, or that we insist we want one thing when in actuality we need something else. It’s like the person who compulsively has as much sex as possible, without stopping to unpack why they do that and why they want that. Or the person who keeps making romantic connections because they have no idea how to make sustainable, basic friendships. 

And yet time and time again you see people in these circles, particularly but not exclusively cis men, who think they understand this, or at least they agree with everything in theory, but they leave nothing but a wake of broken hearts in their path. It’s what I call “out of control steamrollers” (una aplanadora sin frenos). 

So, what gives? Where is the disconnect? Why do these guys keep doing this, so much so that it’s A Thing, a trope, inside the community? Is it because they’re evil? unlikely. Is it because they’re stupid? also, unlikely. Is it because they have loads of male privilege and are taking advantage of the situation so they can have as much sex as they want, while successfully making the bare minimum emotional investment and at the same time scoring Woke Points because they’re “challenging monogamy”? well, I’d say yes, this is definitely the case. But at the same time, it’s something they’re usually unaware of. And thus it’s a behavior that’s very hard for them to change. Because, even if they’re confronted with it (and if they’re adults, I am sure they have been, plenty of times) - they just don’t see themselves that way.

I have personally dealt with these types. All of them lovely guys in their own way. Guys I loved, and still do. But hot damn, so freaking immature. And I think it’s worth sharing that at some point in our relationships, where I was feeling emotionally neglected and uncared for, I confronted them about it. Of course they insisted they cared about me, and sure, why not, I’m sure they did. But a question I like to throw out there in these discussions, and that always catches them off guard is: what have you got to offer me in this relationship?

And they never know how to answer. And I understand - they have never had to ask themselves this question. And here’s my take on why: I think in society men are raised to believe that just by fact of being themselves that’s enough to be in relationship. In fact, this is the knee jerk reaction I usually get: “I’m a good guy! I’m not a terrible person!” - and I am sure they are, that’s not what I’m asking. But they immediately feel it as very personal criticism. As if you were telling them they’re less than. And that’s not the point

When you are in relationship with other people, the dynamic is supposed to be mutual and reciprocal. You can be a great person, but that doesn’t mean you have the mental space to be in relationship, or even the tools and skills to healthily relate to others. This is what I like to call Emotional Illiteracy - why? because it’s something you can learn. You can learn to be empathetic, to listen and communicate better. You can learn about attachment styles and why people relate the way they do when they’re in a loving relationship (platonic, romantic, familiar). But men don’t think that’s something they’re supposed to learn, because that’s un-manly. Emotions are things for women, not for men!

And the thing is that in society, women are raised to be caretakers and empathetic and to put other people’s needs ahead of their own. Am I saying that all women are sensitive and great in relationship while every guy is emotionally stunted and will never truly love anyone? of course not. What I’m saying is that men who don’t proactively question these structures and who seek out help and actually take the time to learn (and unlearn) are probably going to do a lot of damage... they don’t even want to do, but that they’ll be emotionally responsible for non the less. And yes, we all have things to learn, like what relationships are systematically unequal and should thus be avoided, but I think when it comes to love, men are more in the woods.

Personally, I think Bell Hooks’ definition of love is the most accurate I’ve ever seen: love is not just a feeling you have for someone, it’s a verb - it’s the things you do to grow and nurture the relationship, motivated by that feeling. Feelings alone are no base for a relationship - feelings change. But action based on connection, and a willingness to be vulnerable and heal and connect with someone else, is what is going to give you solid relationships that will stand the test of time. 

But in hetereopatriarchal society, men are taught that their attraction to women, and that alone, is what is going to reward them with a relationship. After all, men do the desiring, and women are the objects of their desire. Time, and time again, I’ve met guys whose only interactions with me boiled down to telling me how attractive they found me. And, sure, that’s nice and all. But that is not actually connecting and setting the grounds for love to grow. And there’s a common misconception where we confuse desire and admiration with love (explained in this post), because we have no idea what love actually is.

Love is being seen, known, heard and understood. And love actions are those actions centered around making the other person feel (say it with me) seen, known, heard and understood. That means making the effort of really getting to know someone. To discover their history, their inner world, to uncover trauma together - and then, by virtue of sharing time and experiences together, provide space for emotional wounds to heal. Love is not fixing someone else’s brokenness, it’s understanding them just enough so they feel safe and less alone, which is something that will nurture them into self-healing.

And this all sounds like extremely hard work - like dangerous work even. We are not taught to be vulnerable, we’re not taught to be in a healthy relationship with ourselves, let alone with others. But understanding just how much of an impact we can have on people around us, for the better or for the worse, is what’s actually going to allow us to make responsible decisions.

When we fail to do all of this work, and engage in relationships impulsively, we’re doing nothing but engaging in capitalistic consumerism of bodies and emotions (another post I intend to write). Where we are using people only to provide us with pleasure or comfort, until things get too difficult and we toss them aside and move on to our next victim (in polyamory circles they call this ‘new relationship energy’ - the rush you get when you start any loving relationship, which can be addictive). Needless to say, but: this is unfair and irresponsible.

And irresponsible, rampant, consumerism not only applies to sex, but to emotions as well (you can be abusive and exploitative in non-sexual relationships too, you know). When we don’t show up emotionally and leave the other person to do all the emotional labor in the relationship - we are using them. Coming to someone just when we need their support and their shoulder to cry on or, worse, when we need someone to give us a solution to our problems, is deeply exploitative and immature.

That’s why it’s so important to have an integral relationship with ourselves. If we are self-destructive, un-self-aware, selfish, prone to instant gratification, and in no place whatsoever to actually care for other people (or, in other words, emotionally immature) - then we really shouldn’t be in relationship. Like the character of Darryl says on the episode of Hunters Without a Home of The Midnight Gospel: according to Tibetan views, love is how happy you can make another person. That is answering the question: what have you got to offer them in relationship? 

The reason why this is such a hard question to answer, I think, it’s because we’re afraid to look inside and find ourselves empty, without anything of real value to offer. And, again, please don’t confuse ‘offering value’ with offering hedonistic pleasure, status, or material things. In the end, as human beings, we all have a necessity to love and be loved - to be interconnected. And I find it appalling and devastating that we live in a society that has made us believe that our actual worth is outside of us, or that ‘we don’t owe each other anything’ or that ‘we shouldn’t have any expectations’ (this relates to a hook up culture that has convinced us that sex is the best and only thing we’ve got to offer, again, another post I intend to write eventually).

No matter what relationship model you choose to practice (monogamy, polyamory, relationship anarchy, open relationships), if you are emotionally illiterate you will only engage in consumerism of bodies and people. And one of the best things you could ever do for your own sake and other’s is to actually make the effort and learn.

Anyway, it’s 2am and my brain has ran out of juice, so forgive me if the conclusion isn’t better articulated. But, there you go!

Edit: here’s a shorter, bullet point version I had already written and which I had forgotten about.

[cat-with-a-tie]

A DenNor analysis of sorts

Hello, sweet chirping crickets! I’ve been shipping this ship for literal years now but have never plucked up the courage to actually interact with anyone or anything, so I’ve no idea why I’m doing it now, in the year of our Lord 2019, but hey, it’s never too late to get dragged back into aph hell.

I plan on posting a series of long ass rants that absolutely no one asked for in which I attempt to discuss the dynamics of DenNor and the Nordic characters in general, drawing mainly on Himaruya’s portrayal, historical facts, and my own headcanons, so welcome to the first installation of Stuff Nobody Really Cares About that I Wrote in a Fit of Boredom and Self-indulgence!

Before we start, if anyone’s reading this at all then please bear in mind that this is mostly just IMHO. And since there’s no correct way to ship a pairing (this cannot be stressed enough), my interpretation is just that—my personal interpretation, and it is by no means impartial because there’s definitely a healthy dose of my own preferences in there. Actually, I haven’t got any mutuals to talk to at the moment, so if my interpretation’s terrible, by all means go on and yell at me, I will love you to death for it.

In this post I’m going to rant about Norway’s personality (or his lack of it, thereof; don’t worry I’ll get to it later), with just a tiny segment on Denmark thrown in the mix, because hey, I do need to sleep.

“Anko” and its implications for Norway’s character

So, as most people probably already know, in the Japanese version Norway calls Denmark “anko”. In the Northeastern dialect he speaks, this is something like a diminutive form of “big brother” or “boss” (yes, Norway calls Denmark big brother!). In East Asian cultures, it is commonplace for younger men to address older ones (related or not) by honorifics ranging from super courteous to super casual, such as “aniki” in Japanese, “hyung” in Korean, and “da-ge” or “ge” in Mandarin. “Anko” also falls under this category, although it is still more casual than the more ubiquitous “aniki”. I struggle to convey its exact denotations in English, but all you need to know is that this is an affectionate way of addressing a man older than you.

But here’s a funny thing: Himaruya once stated that Denmark and Norway are “like classmates” （同級生）. Now, the Japanese term actually has a somewhat different meaning from the English one; “doukyuusei” does not strictly refer to people who are/were in the same class, but to people who belong in the same school year and therefore, in most cases, share the same age. This actually makes sense, because if we consider history, up until the 14th century or so the three Scandinavian kingdoms developed at much the same pace, so it would be reasonable to assume (despite Himaruya’s being abominably vague on nation mechanism) that the characters are of similar ages as well.

Why, then, does Himaruya have Norway refer to Denmark, who should be about the same age as he is, as “anko”? The thing is, aside from denoting age difference, this sort of honorific can also denote a difference in status. Even if someone is not significantly older than you, you may still refer to them with an honorific if you feel their status is above you or wish to pay them respect in an affectionate way.

So, consider this: Norway does not disrespect or look down on Denmark at all, in fact, he respects him enough to call him something akin to “boss” or “older brother”. Bear in mind that this is Norway we’re talking about, Norway of the onii-chan obsession! There’s no doubt that he sees a great deal of significance in this sort of thing, otherwise he wouldn’t be so bent on having Iceland address him as such. And he calls Denmark “big brother”. Just… just take a minute to let that sink in, will ya.

So this brings us to the main subject of my essay, and that is that Norway, for all his sass, is a bit of a doormat.

Now, before anyone starts yelling at me about how his people are perhaps the most fiercely patriotic out of all the Nordic countries, please let me finish my theory. You don’t get independence after centuries of being a glorified trophy bride and not feel the need to vent all that pent up frustration, after all.

First, if you look at strips such as the Denmark vs. Sweden frozen lake fiasco, you’ll see that Norway basically goes along with anything Denmark does, even when he’s actions are outright harebrained (and, to be fair, they often were). He might nag, and he might throw in a word or two of complaints, but at the end of the day Denmark calls the shots, and Norway seems pretty content to let him do so, even when sometime it’s him who has to bear the consequences of Denmark’s brashness (historically, during the many conflicts between Denmark and Sweden, many of which Denmark initiated, Sweden would often bypass Denmark and invade Norway instead, since its lack of military prowess meant that Norway could be used as leverage to force Denmark into accepting all sorts of outrageous conditions; meanwhile, any sort of military action Denmark engaged in was exceptionally taxing—no pun intended—on Norway due to its small population and frequent food shortages). 

Also keep in mind that compared to the strips set in modern times, Norway’s treatment of Denmark was considerably milder in the medieval era. My theory is that his attitude towards Denmark only soured after the chain of events that eventually lead to his independence in the 19th century, buuut that’s an essay for another time! Right now I’d like to discuss a personality trait of Norway’s that fascinates me a lot and directly ties into his tendency to be pushed around: his standoffishness.

This is a character inclined to keep on the sidelines and just watch things unfold, even when said events concern his very own person. He doesn’t seem to give a fig when Denmark and Sweden are fighting to the death—hell, not even when they are fighting over him, something that happened a lot in history.

Now, I can think of two main reasons for this passiveness, the first being that Norway, unlike Denmark, probably knows his own limitations to a degree that I believe must have been painful for him at times (not that he shows it, anyway). Although of course being able to see and communicate with magical creatures could result in one being a little less interested in the mortal realm, I find it unlikely that he was always this disengaged. He was once a Viking, after all, and up until the 13th century his kingdom was arguably the most powerful and expansive in all of Scandinavia.

But then, of course, came the Black Death. Norway’s decline in the late Middle Ages was in fact facilitated by a myriad of factors including civil war, incompetent politicians, and either a shortage or a surplus of kings, but having three quarters of its population decimated by the plague was perhaps the heaviest blow of all, and by the time the Kalmar Union took place the prospects of competing with Denmark or Sweden were pretty bleak.

From there on was what 19th century Norwegian nationalist poet Wergeland dubbed the “four hundred years of night”. Although most modern historians agree that Norway was far from destitute under Danish rule and may even have benefitted considerably from it, in terms of Norway’s development as a character, I reckon it could be said that he was, in fact, shrouded in night. The night in question, however, as opposed to being a symbol of Danish tyranny as Wergeland probably intended it to be, would be more of a metaphor for Norway’s own willingness to “fall asleep”, thereby shutting out a world in which he knew he has no say. In this way, he turned a blind eye on Denmark’s ill-fated endeavors, on Sweden’s budding ambition, on the animosity brewing between his two friends, and probably even on Denmark’s mistreatment of him.

During the Kalmar Union, he must have known that he was the weakest of the three kingdoms, and that it was better to just let things take their course instead of joining the fight for hegemony along with Sweden and Denmark. During the union with Denmark, he knew too that life would be far easier if he just went along with things; after all, he knew Denmark, he knew he was stubborn and that he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. He also knew that Denmark meant well and that, despite everything, he cared a great deal for his family, as shown in the tax raise strip where Norway tells Denmark that “[it’s OK] because you’re trying your best”. 

It’s possible that Norway also derived some degree of consolation from Denmark’s affection, in that even though as nations they stood on uneven ground, as friends and as people he could still trust Denmark to have his best interests at heart. Also, by telling himself that he and Denmark were “in this boat together”, Norway could avoid the sense of relative deprivation that arose from being a nation in an unequal union, and subsequently avoid feeling resentment towards Denmark, whom he’s always cared for and perhaps even looked up to despite everything. His referring to Denmark as “anko” despite being roughly the same age as him can perhaps be interpreted as a sign of this (arguably unwarranted) trust.

So in short, a prolonged sense of powerlessness led Norway to become emotionally detached as a form of defense mechanism, while affection for his childhood friend made him reluctant to put his foot down when Denmark’s arrogance and blind optimism threatened to get out of hand. All this serves to expedite the standoffishness I mentioned earlier that is typical of his character.

Thus, if we accept the theory (note the italics) of Denmark once upon a time being abusive, I personally find it plenty believable that Norway would just, well, lie back and take it. In part because he cares deeply for Denmark and is dependent on him in a bit of an unhealthy way (there’s already a wonderfully insightful post right here on tumblr addressing Norway’s shyness and how his trust in Denmark sometimes manifests as crassness, so I’m not gonna go into that here), and in part because he knows being submissive is the path of least resistance. Taking whatever Denmark the person inflicts on him would still be far more ideal than going to war with or losing the support of Denmark the nation. So yeah, lie back and think of yourself, I guess.

In this regard Norway’s mentality is drastically different from that of Denmark and Sweden’s, which is that one should always fight a losing battle if the alternative is being trod on. He acts more according to strategy, while the other two act more according to pride and passion. The upside is that, being more pragmatic and knowing his limits, he knows better where and how to deploy his strengths; the downside is that he can at times come off as a bit of a pushover.

Incidentally, this is why I find WWII history to be so damn interesting in terms of the Nordic’s characterisations, because we get to see the Viking Trio seemingly go against everything that had until then defined their personalities. To be fair, this is way after all that fucked up shit with the treaties of Fredrikshamn and Kiel, which I consider a major turning point (or mental growth spur, if you will) for all five Nordics, so I reckon it all still kind of makes sense because of the wonderful mechanics of character development? But then again, that’s an essay for another time!

A bit on Denmark

I like to think of Denmark’s behaviour during his youth as the result of a misguided desire to “play house”—out of love for his family (arguably for Norway in particular) he wishes to keep them safe, and what better way to do that than keeping them all under his wing? Sure, I’m ready to believe at least some part of him was fueled by bloodlust and a thirst for power, as is often the case with nations, but in general he simply didn’t know better.

In the mean time, Norway’s docile compliance did nothing to curb this misconception; worst case scenario, it only served to fuel it, make Denmark feel like he really was the leader and that it was his obligation to be in charge for the sake of them both. I consider their relationship in this time period to be quite toxic, even though related strips show them to be closer than ever.

For me, a significant part of Denmark’s character development is him realising that the happiness of his loved ones should not have to depend on him, and that one can be loved without being needed (in terms of DenNor, it’s him learning to love Norway as an equal and not just someone to be protected/coddled).

For Norway it’s the opposite—he learns to regain control over his own life, to stand up for himself and to love Denmark without taking any bullshit from him.

[franklyautistic]

Gatekeeping neurodiversity is artificial, socially constructed, and subjective

In modern progressive thought, there are two co-existing ways of looking at atypical brains:

1) Mental illness

2) Neurodiversity

The orthodoxy is that mental illness is bad, while neurodiversity is good.

How do we define mental illness? Well, for starters, do we even? The WHO, for example, prefers the term “mental disorders”, defined:

Mental disorders comprise a broad range of problems, with different symptoms. However, they are generally characterized by some combination of abnormal thoughts, emotions, behaviour and relationships with others. Examples are schizophrenia, depression, intellectual disabilities and disorders due to drug abuse. Most of these disorders can be successfully treated.

The charity Mind also does not use the phrase “mental illness”, instead defaulting to “mental health problems”. For their part, they say:

In many ways, mental health is just like physical health: everybody has it and we need to take care of it.Good mental health means being generally able to think, feel and react in the ways that you need and want to live your life. But if you go through a period of poor mental health you might find the ways you're frequently thinking, feeling or reacting become difficult, or even impossible, to cope with. This can feel just as bad as a physical illness, or even worse.

So mental health issues, or mental disorders, involve:

Some combination of abnormal thoughts, emotions, behaviour and relationships with others.

The ways you frequently think, feel, or react become difficult or even impossible to cope with.

Mental health is changeable - you can go through periods of good or bad mental health.

By contrast, neurodiversity is defined by academic Nick Walker as follows:

Neurodiversity is an essential form of human diversity. The idea that there is one “normal” or “healthy” type of brain or mind or one “right” style of neurocognitive functioning, is no more valid than the idea that there is one “normal” or “right” gender, race or culture.

The classification of neurodivergence (e.g. autism, ADHD, dyslexia, bipolarity) as medical/psychiatric pathology has no valid scientific basis , and instead reflects cultural prejudice and oppresses those labeled as such.

The social dynamics around neurodiversity are similar to the dynamics that manifest around other forms of human diversity. These dynamics include unequal distribution of social power; conversely, when embraced, diversity can act as a source of creative potential.

(My formatting)

Now note that Walker’s definition doesn’t create a harsh separation between “neurodivergence” and “mental illness”. Indeed, it specifically includes a condition - bipolarity - which most people would happily class as a mental illness.

Of course, Walker isn’t the oracle of truth - he has informed opinions, but they’re just opinions, and his definition is a statement of what he considers the best definition to be, rather than a worked explanation of how he came to that definition. So, how could we separate neurodiversity from poor mental health?

First, I recently raised this question with someone who said the answer was that mental health is “not neurological”. This is not true. Depression, for example, has a big impact on your neural development, and our most effective treatments involve messing around with neurotransmitters. Your mind is entirely neurological, therefore your mental health is entirely neurological.

Second, the notion that mental illness is a thing you don’t want, while neurodiversity is a thing you do want. But some people dislike being autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, or dyspraxic, and those are supposed to be the friendly faces of neurodiversity. Meanwhile, there are plenty of people who embrace being bipolar, OCD, schizophrenic, and even depressed or anxious.

Third, the idea that neurodiversity involves talents, gifts, or valuable alternative viewpoints, while mental illness does not. Again, this quickly runs into trouble. For starters, an extreme version expects neurodivergent people to have wonderful abilities like Stephen Wiltshire. This is both untrue, and somewhat patronising. Neurodiversity is ordinary. But moreover, many conditions often deemed mental illnesses once again can come with advantages. A friend of mine with anxiety says that although she sometimes finds it unpleasant, she’s glad she has anxiety as she feels it motivates her to be nicer to other people. This is not my personal experience of anxiety, but her viewpoint is just as valid. The same clichés you hear about autistic people also apply to schizophrenics - famous schizophrenics include Jack Kerouac, Syd Barrett and John Nash, and probably Vincent Van Gogh, and in all cases their condition is routinely associated with their talent. Kanye West calls being bipolar his “superpower”.

Fourth, the idea that neurodiversity is permanent whereas mental illness is transient. Again, this doesn’t work. Many mental illnesses are not transient. As with autism, most mental illnesses have genetic components. And would we not class someone who became autistic due to a brain injury as “neurodiverse”?

Fifth, the idea that we can determine what is an “illness” and what is merely a “condition” by leaving it to psychiatrists or other professionals. Alas, we can’t - they routinely get it wrong. Diagnosis with a “mental illness”, a neurodivergence, or nothing at all is very much dependent on when and where you live. This is not meant to knock psychiatrists by any means, but we should not pretend that they are objective - they know a lot, but the founding purpose of the neurodiversity movement was to push back against common psychiatric assumptions.

I will skip over, for now, neurodegenerative conditions such as MS, ME, or dementia, but please do bear them in mind.

So, what definitions might work?

Well, try these on for size:

- Conditions are always neurodiversity. Neurodivergence is always good, but sometimes an individual will be distressed by one or more symptoms arising due to that neurodivergence and will seek treatment for those symptoms. Sometimes those symptoms could be understood as mental health difficulties.

or:

- A person can use neurodivergence and mental illness as they feel is appropriate to refer to themselves. Maybe they’re a person with chronic depression who is nonetheless glad they have a mind prone to depression. Maybe they have ADHD and want it cured. Maybe those two people are the same person. We, the neurodiversity community, should not gatekeep who gets to be part of our community.  

What I’m suggesting is that, just as race, sexuality, and gender can be understood as social constructs, so too can the divide between “good neurodiversity” and “bad mental illness”.

[semirahrose]

I hear some people are accusing Sam and Cas of abusing Dean to get him to do what they wanted, what do you think about that?

 My reaction: Utter befuddlement.

(gif credit: sebstans)

I haven’t seen the latest episodes, so I can’t go in and take a critical look at whatever supposedly “abusive” behaviors Sam and Cas are displaying, but I’m gonna guess—as has been the pattern for a long while now—that one or both of them vehemently expressed their disagreement with Dean’s plan, probably more than once. They were probably sad. They might have even *gasp* shown their emotions. (How very dare they) And Sam punched Dean. ** Not something I’m comfortable with, to be honest, but that’s personal and is neither here nor there.

Part of why I love Sam so much is this: as much as he can, to the very limits of his endurance, he tries to trust in people and respect their decisions. He is (despite his lack of faith in himself) slow to wrath—or at least outward expressions of wrath. He is calm, and he is faithful, sometimes even to his own detriment. (Sam has never been able to deal well with losing Dean, though. That’s a long established canon fact.)

But: 

Not being able to pretend everything is all right is not abuse. Telling a person (even repeatedly, even convincingly) that you really don’t want them to do something is not abuse. People are allowed to have emotions and reactions that do not mesh with my own. Wanting something or even needing something  and showing you need it is not abuse.

Being broken, unstable, or on uncertain footing is not abuse. Needing and seeking support is not abuse. Needing and seeking support even when the person you are seeking support from is, himself, broken and in need of support you are unable to provide is not abuse. It’s tragic, but it’s not, by any stretch of the imagination, abusive.

Hitting a person is not abuse. Here’s where it gets sticky. Hitting a person is violence. It is not a healthy response and should never be encouraged. But abuse, by its very definition, is more than violence. Abuse requires a pattern (whether of violence or of financial, emotional, and/or social control) that is enacted specifically to achieve a desired result: to put the abused person under the abuser’s control. 

(Under a cut because this gets long and no one should have to deal with my disconnected rambling unless they wish to. Analysis below of whether Sam [and Cas, to the best of my limited knowledge and ability, since he’s unfortunately not part of my hyperfocus] meet the criteria. tl;dr they don’t)

So. A pattern. And an unequal dynamic. 

A pattern?

Sam is very, very rarely violent when he is in control of his actions (i.e. not possessed or under the influence of a supernatural substance). The instances where he has initiated physical violence in all 14 seasons can be counted on one hand. It does not create any real sort of pattern. 

I could talk for a long time about how Castiel’s occasional violence does not also constitute a pattern of abuse, but though I like him, I haven’t spent as much time poring over his scenes word for word and am not sure how clear it would be, and additionally, it’s a little questionable to expect a being who has been brainwashed and molded for thousands of years to be a perfect soldier to a) understand and b) act in accordance with human relationship dynamics without a lot of trial, error, and patient explanation (which he didn’t get with any consistency from the person whose ideals he clung to when he first appeared [Dean].) I lived abroad in a country whose customs and social expectations were a bit different from my own, and I had the opportunity to do extensive research in advance. I still had pretty intense culture shock and an adjustment period. There were some things I simply couldn’t fully wrap my mind around, and some things I disagreed with. And it was only some thousands of miles of land and ocean that separated us. Arguably, it can’t even be applied to Castiel in those first seasons. Asking him to relearn in days, weeks, or even years things that have been beaten into him over millennia is… ambitious, to say the least, and something that needs to be considered in any nuanced analysis.

Then the show humanized Cas. It made him make some well-intentioned mistakes while trying to seek a leader and do what he believed to be good for his family…the family he has grown up with, again, for millennia. The show took away his powers, his memories, his sanity. But it did not change his role. Castiel’s arcs over the season have specifically emphasized his discomfort and inexperience with being perceived as a leader. When he was unstable after having taken on Sam’s overflowing trauma from his broken hell wall, he was very much not in a position of power, and… if anyone was being abusive, it wasn’t Cas.

But perhaps people are talking about emotional/psychological abuse? Again, both Cas and Sam have expressed desires and tried to explain differing positions from Dean and have been under powerful supernatural influence (the Siren, demon blood, Leviathan, etc), and have made decisions on their own without seeking Dean’s permission—and, oops, that just highlighted our second criterion.

An unequal dynamic (specifically, abuser in a position of power).

Neither Sam nor Castiel is in a position of power over Dean. Only in season 11 did Sam and Dean’s dynamic start to level out a bit. The big struggle in early seasons, the one that literally carried us to the season 5 finale, was that Dean treated Sam as a kid/subordinate, not as an equal, and Sam felt he needed to seek permission to do anything. Actual quote from “Swan Song” (and I admire this development in Dean so much, even if the later seasons dismantled it):

DEAN: The whole “up with Satan” thing. I’m on board. SAM: You’re gonna let me say yes? DEAN: No. That’s the thing. It’s not on me to let you do anything. You’re a grown – well, overgrown – man. If this is what you want, I’ll back your play. SAM: That’s the last thing I thought you’d ever say. DEAN: Might be. I’m not gonna lie to you, though. It goes against every fiber I got. I mean, truth is… You know, watching out for you… it’s kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it’s… it’s kinda who I am. You’re not a kid anymore, Sam, and I can’t keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too. I don’t know if we got a snowball’s chance. But… But I do know that if anybody can do it… it’s you.

Some people will try to claim that Sam is in a position of power because he tried to go to college or because he can leave Dean and (somehow??) holds that over Dean’s head repeatedly (??????????), but if someone is in a position where, for even their own education or mental health, they’re not allowed to be apart from someone or even think about seeking something for themselves, that’s not abuse on the part of the person who seeks separation. And when Sam (young, so young), left for college, the only control he had was his own autonomy, his own two feet that brought him out that door. He was disowned for choosing to do what he needed for himself, after growing up in a family he had a hard time feeling a part of. That’s not abuse on Sam’s part. Maybe Dean did need Sam there beside him. But doing something for his own mental health and personal growth is not abuse by any stretch of the imagination. I call that courage.

The same goes for Castiel, especially considering that, despite his greater physical strength (when he was a fully-powered angel), he still tends mostly to act as if he is a subordinate or inferior, possibly from the millennia during which he was a soldier in a garrison: he was looking for a leader, a superior officer, even when he left. He found Dean.

“But what about when Sam and Cas do things behind Dean’s back??” Some people might ask. Again, I feel like (especially in the case of the Mark, where, due to its powerful influence, Dean was significantly altered and violent/controlling) if characters are so afraid to seek permission/understanding that they fear that they have to do something completely in secret… that just…. that’s not evidence that these people scurrying around in breathless terror are somehow the ones in a position of power?? Quite the opposite, I’d say. I mean, MoC!Dean literally said they weren’t a team; it was a dictatorship.

I’m sorry there are so few examples. Honestly, I could go on for hours and for pages and pages and pages, but I don’t have the time or the brainpower to make that post, so this is what I have. I’m sorry it’s not as complete as it could be or that it doesn’t include examples from s14, since I haven’t seen anything since pretty early in the season.

In short/tl;dr: Sam and Cas neither display a pattern of control nor find themselves consistently in a position of power over Dean. (And I cannot stress enough that Sam trying to seek his own path/seek education/do things for himself does not count as abuse and it disturbs me that people think it does.) 

In fact, the opposite is most often the case: Dean is generally in the role of the leader. Recent seasons have begun to change that dynamic a bit, but neither Sam nor Cas have reversed the dynamic.

** Re: Sam punching Dean:  I understand the circumstances and his reaction makes sense to me, but I’ll be honest: I’m personally uncomfortable with violence as a problem-solving method. So I don’t like that Sam did it, but I understand that both brothers grew up in an environment where less destructive/self-destructive methods were not consistently modeled for them. I understand that there are situations in which people might feel like words are useless and their only recourse is a physical response. I get pain and tragedy and desperation and terror and loss… but it doesn’t mean I’m any more comfortable with it.

[meow-at-meow-doc-com]

“Man of the House”

That ep of Jane the virgin, hooooo boy

so let’s get this straight

1) Jane respectfully asked, as a parent, for Jorge to put his dishes away and not watch TV while Mateo was around, because it was directly affecting his behavior and causing his ADHD problems to worsen. 

Sidenote: wasn’t he living there for months before this for the fake marriage? Pretty telling that he stops having any regard for his wife’s only grandkid & great-grandkid until the ring is on.

2) He gets really mad, apparantly, and tells his wife. He doesn’t relay the pretty reasonable requests she actually made, just that Jane was disrespectful. He does this instead of confronting Jane, or having a family meeting.

3) Alba gets mad at Jane, doesn’t really give her an opportunity to say what actually happened [Mateo had a meltdown and started misbehaving, because he saw “the man of the house” not following the rules]. She points out that she cooked and cleaned for Jane for years. Which is true, but also isn’t relevant to asking someone to put away their dishes or keeping the TV off around her son. Also Jane was a literal child for most of the years she was living with Alba and it’s never been shown that Jane is taking advantage of her parent’s free labor. So Alba was really responding to Jane being skeptical of the gender roles Alba & Jorge have - which, again, she said nothing about to Jorge.

4) Jane apologizes to Jorge, to keep the peace. He asks for a few small concessions, which are actually pretty reasonable by themselves - keeping things down at night, leaving the close spot for Alba. I don’t see anything wrong with asking a roommate for these concessions at all, but he also didn’t apologize for getting a third party to interfere [for no reason, since he has no problem having a reasonable conversation here, other than his passive-aggressive and patronizing tone], and we also don’t see any sign he’s actually going to make the changes Jane requested, so it doesn’t feel like a fair & respectful conversation. 

Another thing here not addressed - Jorge said to Alba that Jane was being disrespectful and insulting to him, that’s never touched on. Asking a roommate to put their dishes away, especially in front of their easily impressionable son,is not insulting or disrespectful, especially when brought up in a 1-1 conversation like that. That’s a pretty basic polite thing to do. How long were those dishes going to sit there? Hours until Alba goes back home? Was Jane supposed to clean up after him for some reason? Him leaving dishes at the table was far more disrespectful and also, that’s how you get ants! 

The watching TV thing was a little less of a normal request but... most families, especially ones that can afford a 40 inch HDTV have a second TV in their bedroom, or at least a laptop, or something than can watch TV off of. And this was for her child, who has problems with processing TV and other things and led directly to her son having meltdowns. Regardless, it’s not disrespectful or insulting to ask for that concession, people who live together should be allowed to have a healthy discussion about their wants and needs, bringing it up a healthy thing to do. Turning up the volume repeatedly to drown out your step great-grandkid’s tantrum was disrespectful though. You really care that little about your wife’s only great-grandkid? Just turn off the TV, pause it, or at least mute it. You don’t have to raise Mateo, but it would be nice if you wouldn't actively contribute to making it harder for him.

5) Jane apologizes to Alba for being judgey about the whole division of labor thing. Fair enough, Jane’s a nice person and loves her grandma and likes seeing her happy. During that apology, Alba says the whole completely unequal division of labor thing isn’t actually that unequal because while she does cook, clean, do the grocery shopping daily after her job, Jorge actually helps too! He does this by... 

* handling telemarketers. I just hang up, i don’t think this really compares. It’s nice, but like, those should be a 1 min conversation or less “I’m not interested”.

* he makes all their dinner reservations. Again, this should be like a 2 min phone call, unless you get stuck on-hold. Nice of him to do, but i’d rather set up a dinner reservation than clean the bathrooms and do the dishes. I’d do pretty much anything other than do the dishes, but that’s neither here nor there. 

* putting her slippers in front of the bed every day. That’s super sweet, but still probably only takes like 1-2 minutes every day. Considering meals tend to take 20+ minutes of work, usually involving standing up and actively monitoring, it’s just not really comparable.

That’s apparently her best examples she has of how their division of labor isn’t an unequal as it seems. 3 things that add up to probably 5 minutes, and two of the things aren’t even daily occurrences. Compared to apparently doing all the grocery shopping (Usually around a 30 min trip to me, at least), making most or all of their meals (20ish min per meal, plus snacks, but let’s call it 45 min/day and assume she has leftovers sometimes), and apparantly all the cleaning (jane has never been shown to shirk her duties, so i’m gonna go with 30 min/day, and assume it’s mostly dishes and laundry).

Which makes Jorge’s contributes like, hmm, 5 min/day, and Alba’s around an hour, rounding down and not even factoring in grocery runs. They both work too, although i don’t know if either of them works more than another.

Alba is definitely correct that if she wants to run her relationship that way, she should be allowed too. For example, some people find cleaning relaxing. It doesn’t make their contributions any less unequal, but it does change the context. She doesn’t say she actually enjoys cleaning or cooking, other than “doing things for the hubby” sort of implied in there, but you know. She could, maybe.

But that’s not really the issue. The issue is still that Jorge thinks asking for reasonable accommodations from people who have lived her longer than him is disrespectful and insulting. That’s a red flag by itself, plus his behavior suddenly turning to a manbaby who can’t do dishes after putting a ring on it is another red flag. The division of labor thing could make sense in a more equal relationship, but on top of these red flags, it points to repeated behavior that actually is taking advantage of Alba, just like Jane was concerned about. 

Anyway, this whole thing was probably just a plot to get Jane to move out. But it really made me side-eye that his bad behaviors were ignored in favor of teaching Jane that “sometimes feminism is letting women be taken advantage of, because they want it” or something. They could have made this message less wishy-washy by having Jorge actually not be whiny tattletale and have an honest convo with Jane, and by having Jorge’s contributions be bigger & comparable.

[trashexplorer]

BLCD Review: Yuuwaku no Method

Title: Yuuwaku no Method (誘惑のメソッド)

Release Date: 2018/06/27

Author/Artist: Kakine

Cast: Satou Takuya x Tamaru Atsushi

Synopsis: Subaru’s got it all - the looks, the smarts, and the job. On what was supposed to be just another casual night out, he ends up finding his fated one, Itsuki. Subaru has this idea that Itsuki was the purest being on this earth and tries his hardest not to come off too strong but, what Itsuki really the person he imagines him to be?

Review Proper

First of all, I’d like to mention that I’ve actually misread Itsuki’s name as “Ikki” in the raws. 🙇It has since been updated since this posting. 👌  

Like I mentioned in my June Releases post, I’ve read the manga beforehand. I’ve always mixed this up with Fruit, Gateau au Chocolat. 😂 It was around the time I’ve gotten my hands on the raws for this (and Fruit, Gateau Chocolat) that I’ve accidentally partitioned and reformatted my external drive so you could imagine how depressed I was then. The only things I’ve managed to save out of my 350+ BLCDs was  Kashikomarimashita, Destiny Answer, Flutter, and SASRA. 😭😭😭 Even though I’ve gotten my hands on the CD itself, seeing the single folder for the manga still breaks my heart and I would always hesitate to listen to it - this was also one of the reasons why I couldn’t bring myself to listen to my next batch of BLCDs because this was first on the list (I had to get more BLCDs to lighten up my mood which is why I listened to Bokura wa Sore wo Koi to Yobu first). Anyway, I felt really iffy about this series after reading the raws but I had to give it another chance because my Japanese reading skills is next to shit compared to my listening skills and I’m glad that I did.

Although I wasn’t paying attention confused at first, listening to the CD definitely helped me to understand what the hell was happening in the raws. I initially thought that Itsuki was some type of bipolar psychopath.

Turns out that he was just playing little goody two shoes in order to get Subaru in his pants. 🤷

He was super sadistic to boot. I’m not exactly sure if Subaru-san thought of himself as an S which is why he was utterly mortified when Itsuki turned out to be the bonafide S. I actually didn’t like their relationship despite now knowing that Itsuki wasn’t really a bipolar psychopath because hello??? He blatantly changed his attitude to make Subaru-san his bitch??? That’s hella scary, man. If I was Subaru-san, I would’ve ran the other way once I found out about that. And I’m not saying that Subaru-san was any better -  I was very disappointed when he vehemently tried to push Itsuki away to make himself feel like he’s in charge again. Toxic masculinity right there. 🙄 Don’t get me wrong, I’ve no issues with sadistic ukes and with them leading but, the bitch never lets his man lead except for their first fuck. They’re so unequal in standing in their relationship both inside and outside the bedroom that it’s unbearable - even Wacchi has more of a control on his relationship with Makio than Subaru-san has on his relationship with Itsuki. 🤷 Heck, even Yashiro is at the mercy of Doumeki despite being the fucking boss sometimes. Is Subaru-san, really Itsuki’s boyfriend? Or is he his goddamned pet?

I’m really even surprised that Kakine would make something like this because last time I checked, their couples had healthy relationships and sadly, this is far from healthy. I’m not saying that all their works were that great but at least none of the couples had such an unstable relationship like this. 

Moving on to the technicalities,

Can I just say that I really couldn’t take Satou Takuya seriously as a seme? 😂 The cast did a wonderful job and I think it was a good casting choice overall since they clicked off pretty well with each other despite this being the first time they’ve co-starred but after working on the Remnant CD extras and listening to only Satou Takuya uke roles (I’m not into the Makare series so I didn’t listen to the one where he was a seme), it’s really weird for me to hear him in that tone and role. 😂 He’s a great seme though, don't get me wrong, and I’ve liked the R18 Otome CDs he’s done with this tone - take Watashi no Kemono for example (he also did Nagamine Kaito’s Love Ubung which I loved). But yeah, other than that personal issue, I didn’t have any problems with the voice work and execution. 

Lastly, it was very true to the manga if I remember correctly. I did say that I’ve read the raws beforehand but I read the raws in early May and I didn’t read it while I was listening to the CD because it still hurt HAHAHA. 

So we have a bad plot with unhealthy relationships that could have been better, great voice work and chemistry, mattress mambos that range from ice cold wrong to fiery hot, and fairly decent accuracy. This just didn’t sit well with me but, I really did think it had potential - even made me laugh a few times. *sigh* I feel like if this gets translated, it would ride on Kakine’s fame and people wouldn’t see the points I’ve talked about because of it. I mean, I don’t think that it wouldn’t have ever been adapted into a CD if people didn’t like it. 

Would I recommend this?

Despite the great casting and execution, I honestly won’t but if you’re a fan of the series then, you do you. 🤷

[fournierbak0-blog]

5 Points You're Possibly Doing Wrong In The Shower.

Alfred Wegener proposed the theory of continental drift at the beginning of the 20th century. Prescription antibiotics, both topical and also systemic, take a reasonably long period of time to decrease the numbers of P. acnes microorganisms in the skin and do not resolve other causative elements of acne. Exfoliation sloughs away dry, dead skin cells to earn method for fresh, healthy ones. For dry skin, rub hempseed oil, jojoba oil and MSM cream straight right into the skin. Intense, creative as well as entirely remarkable The All-natural Means of Things is unputdownable and extensive. Botox shots are noted mainly for the ability to minimize the look of some face wrinkles. Criterion laser dermabrasion is too extreme for thinner skin layers such as on the neck. Face Sanctuary Shine-Neutralizing Gel ($ 36, ). The various types of seaweed (yes, as in algae from the ocean) not only take in oils to maintain your forehead and T-zone shine-free, however they additionally have a soothing impact that helps actually reduce the quantity of oil your skin produces! If I needed to narrow it to one wrongdoer I would certainly state its the elimination of gluten, however it seems like you still have some in your diet plan, so its more likely a combination of whatever. These bumps commonly appear like firm yellowish or white papules externally of the skin. Sometimes, adder bites can create allergic reactions, making skin go dark as well as calling for antivenom treatment in hospital. Rather, cellulite takes place when underlying fat down payments begin to press via layers of collagen fibers, or connective tissue, under the skin (frequently in the buttocks and upper leg areas, however additionally on arms, tummies, and various other typical difficulty areas, also). Kate is a natural, fresh girl and I do not think she's vain yet she would not be human if she didn't care just how she looked when she's continuously photographed in every publication and every paper," claims former royal reporter Jennie Bond. Nonetheless, you do not have to have poor skin to follow this regular as it is wonderful for general health and wellness as well as well-being. This product aids lessen the appearance old lines and also creases on the skin while leaving it soft, supple and also smooth. I was patient with it today, it has actually lightened my skin as well as I have a spotless, wrinkles and also fine lines totally free skin. A couple of lifestyle changes and also appeal methods can aid maintain your eye wrinkles to a minimum. Recurring things could really obtain under my skin as well as there were a few instances when hearing this publication that I needed to quit myself from throwing my phone from my relocating automobile. Since my adolescent years I have been observing little skin tags on my neck as well as underarms. By cleansing her latest blog , turmeric extract promoted sebum production, which could keep the skin looking unblemished and young. Pustules and also unusual abscesses may base on the ingrown hair websites as a result of the infection with common skin microorganisms, such as Staphylococcus as well as Pseudomonas. They utilize a specifically formulated blend of hydrolysed aquatic collagen, which is selectively stemmed from fish skin and scales (do not worry you cannot taste fish in all - take Katie's word for this ... as she dislikes the taste of fish!!!). Dry skin typically brings about flakiness, as well as the initial impulse is commonly to scrub the flakes away. The regimen also involves mild acupressure - an old-time technique of pressing on points on the face to raise the flow of energy, or exactly what yogis phone call prana. Nevertheless, my stressed-out skin responded to it very rapidly as well as, although not baby soft (my skin could be a shed cause), it most definitely felt revitalised and also my skin, better. This statement is released simultaneously in Medication & Scientific research in Sports & Workout and Diabetes mellitus Care. Seek one which contains nano-hydroscopic (moisture-retaining) enzymes to help smooth fine lines and wrinkles. All of a sudden these little skin tags have actually appeared al around my neck and also under arms. The research study was moneyed by Silent Springtime Institute, which had 213 consumer products independently checked by Battelle Labs for 66 certain chemicals related to either endocrine disruption or bronchial asthma. Presented this month, it stimulates collagen manufacturing by puncturing the top layer of the skin with small sterile needles, followed by a Biologique Recherche product that contains 24 amino acids and also vitamins The treatment is likewise supplied for the face in addition to, without the serum, targeted components of the body. Occasionally, mycelia can be observed in cavitary lung or skin sores (142 ). The sensitivity for histopathologic detection of Coccidioides is 84%, and that for cytology is 75% (1 ). That implies more than just moisturising the skin to earn it puff up and also smooth out creases. If you suched as the brow expert who brushed your arcs three months ago, go back to them, as well as have them tweeze or thread any roaming hairs-- don't get any waxing done on your face this near your special day, considering that you do not wish to run the risk of prolonged soreness or even worse: ripped skin. There are greater than 100,000 brand-new situations of non-melanoma skin cancer cells every year in the UK. The butter is obviously incredibly moisturising, but likewise anti-bacterial as a result of the coconut oil, which could likewise relieve itchiness from dry skin. We are also told to check our appearance in a way men are really seldom told to. Locate me a male browsing a magazine that informs him to upturn his collar to conceal his neck wrinkles, and I will upturn it for him. Over time, the skin stays hydrated, appearing more visibly plump and without fine lines and creases. Bedbugs failed to remember, I expanded my eyes at Angela as I stood back up, gamely wishing all of it would certainly work out once I got to Steve's office. It can describe our determination to claim, possess and manage - with language greater than anything else - the environment, which is additionally representative of womanhood (Environment etc.), as well as to a primaeval, primitive as well as therefore 'all-natural' way of life, an absence of supposed civilisation - relevant to Yolanda's enhancing unfamiliarity as she becomes one with the land, and also Verla's best choice. Chlorinated water, specifically at heats, could create creases to create. The treatment is extremely efficient for the top lip,. yet it can not be done around the eyes. Industrial skin therapies and also plastic surgery treatments assert to plump and also tighten aging skin however at a price. This time around, I used the Pure Aloe Skin Treatment every night after getting back to my hotel space. Dermatologists likewise enhance the appearance of their individuals' skin, hair, and nails, including reducing the intensity of scars left by acne or skin cancer surgical procedure, dealing with skin pigmentation issues and getting rid of signs of aging, such as creases and age spots. There are a variety of Raid products with high scores, yet this particular spray will work inside, outdoors, as well as in your yard, making it an extraordinary worth. It's a myth that your hair as well as nails keep expanding after you are dead - exactly what in fact occurs is that your skin pulls back, so they appear longer. The foundation is a little thicker than various other products I have actually tested, so treatment will certainly should be taking when mixing along the jawline however on the whole a wonderful item permitting dark skins to experience the advantages of this popular beauty brand name. When they started providing turmeric doses twice daily, they saw preventative benefits appearing in the skin of the computer mice. Every one of these factors aid maintain your skin hydrated and also minimize the formation of wrinkles. For instance, hydrate your skin initially and utilize an orange and environment-friendly concealer palette to deal with an unequal complexion. Check out anti-aging item testimonials from our professionals that will give you the genuine info on anti wrinkle and anti imperfection creams and supply understanding on which anti aging skin treatment items are most likely to give you a radiance as well as which ones to avoid. Since the skin and pulp are seen to be good as cathartics, the fruit is likewise valued for irregularity.

[hakuyamazakisensei]

Hi sweetie If you are still doing the ship meme, could you do Yamazaki x Chizuru? Have a nice day =)

Yay!!! I love Yamazaki and Chizuru! :D

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? They are both the type to really commit, so forever

How quickly did/will they fall in love? It took a while to recognize what it was they were feeling.

How was their first kiss? Shy, but it grew pretty quickly to a more heated affair

Wedding:

Who proposed? Yamazaki…and he was nearly too nervous to speak, but it did it!

Who is the best man/men? Shimada

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? Sen

Who did the most planning? Sen and Chizuru, though in reality….it was mostly Sen ;)

Who stressed the most? There was an equal amount of stress…LOL!

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

As the heiress to the Yukimuraclan, Sen made sure Chizuru had a wedding befitting her station. Yamazaki was abit…daunted, but he complied.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? Kodo and Kaoru…Yamazaki is not one to begrudge someone a special thing like this, so even though he…isn’t fond of Okita, he would never shun him.

Sex:

Who is on top? It’s a shared thing…in the beginning, it was Yamazaki, but after things became a little less new, it was pretty even between them

Who is the one to instigate things? Again, in the beginning, it was Yamazaki, but Chizuru does feel comfortable enough with him to instigate, too, once she’s become accustomed to the whole thing.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

They’re actually pretty active…Forone, Chizuru has learned it’s great stress release, and she definitely wants torelieve Yamazaki’s stress ;) and two, Yamazaki does like to show his creativeside in bed, much to Chizuru’s delight

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

I think it would take a littlewhile to get to that point, but eventually, I believe they would be a bit more risquéthan some couples. Again, this is solely based on my idea of Yamazaki being abit…different behind closed doors. Since he can “let his hair down”, so tospeak…I believe he does…in unconventional ways :D

How long do they normally last? It depends…some nights it’s just an hour or so…at other times, they can make love until morning.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? Absolutely…half the fun for them is getting a response from the other

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

While Yamazaki does like to try newthings, he cannot bring himself to be rough with Chizuru. I don’t see herreally enjoying rough treatment here, either.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Most of the time, they cuddlebefore falling asleep. On some occasions, though, Yamazaki needs to clear hishead a bit and he may go out on the veranda to think while Chizuru sleeps

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? Two, a boy and and girl

How many children will they adopt? -None

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - They typically share, though it’s not 50/50…Chizuru gets the 60 while Yamazaki gets 40.

Who is the stricter parent? -Yamazaki, absolutely, though he does try to see the child’s side before scolding in most cases. He remembers how it felt to be ignored as a child and definitely wants his children to know he listens

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -Both, though the split is more 60 Yamazaki and 40 Chizuru.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?Chizuru deals with lunches, though Yamazaki does remind her the night before, sometimes-

Who is the more loved parent? They are loved equally…This question always bothers me :P I can’t imagine an unequal love unless the parent is an ass…Since none of the Shinsengumi boys are asses….it’s equal ;)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? They homeschool…Yamazaki is certain he can teach them just as well and prefers to keep them home.

Who cried the most at graduation? - They had an at-home ceremony, and Chizuru did choke up a bit, but no tears

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? Chizuru…Yamazaki learned from Saito that lessons are learned better when consequences are enforced

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? Chizuru, though Yamazaki is okay at it. He just doesn’t enjoy it that much

Who is the most picky in their food choice? Yamazaki…he’s a health nut

Who does the grocery shopping? It’s generally a 50/50 split, depending on who is less busy

How often do they bake desserts? Chizuru bakes a couple of times a week

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? Typically more veggies than meat, but a bit of everything

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? -Yamazaki…He’s pretty romantic at heart, even if he does hide it most of the year.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? Chizuru, when she sees that Yamazaki is getting cabin fever from being the stay at home dad

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? Neither…they’re both competent

Chores:

Who cleans the room? They both clean

Who is really against chores? Neither…they both rather enjoy the cleanliness and find it soothing

Who cleans up after the pets? -Yamazaki was adamant that the children clean up after their own pets

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? -Nobody…

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? Chizuru…she wants everything to be perfect

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? -Nobody…they’re too fastidious :D

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? Neither really take long baths, though Chizuru will on occasion

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -Again, Yamazaki has the children care for their own pets…it teaches responsibility….

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -For all the main holidays…They both rather enjoy the holidays

What are their goals for the relationship? -To live long, happy, cherished lives

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -Neither…this is an early rising household

Who plays the most pranks? Yamazaki has his moments, typically with the children