#i just think about that post a lot like LIBRARIES HAVE VIDEOS AND MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AND RECORDING STUDIOS like no the fuck we do NOT

[catholicbeastmode]

support your local library yayayayay but please stop saying librarians can do anything for you. i cant do a legal name change for you. i can't recycle your laptop. i can't find a copy of a death certificate for your relative in australia i just have google and a prayer. however i can get you that very specific book about different types of moths

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

Could you recommend some good resources on accurate depiction of parchment in the medieval period? I feel like most people interested in medieval studies have a basic understanding of what it is and how it’s made, but you seem more well-versed than most on its tactile properties and regular use cases. Where can others acquire this knowledge?

most of what i've learned about manuscripts and book history has been either during my degrees or from work (i have worked in various libraries including with special collections, although mostly with early printed books and later paper manuscripts in that capacity). and in terms of what it's like to interact with, i have learned this mostly from interacting with it, but if you don't have a library or museum near you that will enable you to do this, it's a bit harder. this makes it hard to give recommendations although there are lots of very good books out there about books and manuscript history

(there's one i read early on in my journeys with palaeography etc that went into loads of detail about different writing surfaces including wood and wax tablets and so on, but i cannot remember the title and past me did NOT write it down which was really unhelpful. if i remember it i'll post about it)

there are also a ton of online resources about manuscripts though. lots of museums have online guides to manuscript production, parchment, writing through history. there's lots of codicology stuff out there. so it's not like you have to learn it in a formal environment -- that's just where i learned it and therefore mostly from lectures rather than shareable resources

but to understand parchment specifically i think understanding the process of making it is a crucial step to understanding why it is the way it is (and why it's not paper). here's a couple of youtube videos that give an overview

this is a more detailed video about a project that got people to make parchment themselves which is just kinda interesting (haven't watched it all the way through but am watching parts):

once you understand how parchment is made and the resources that go into it, i think it's easier to understand why it probably wouldn't be used for ephemera and scraps, and that helps you think about situations where people might use something else -- e.g. a wax tablet to take hasty notes, send messages that don't need to be permanent, send messages that are emphatically not permanent (your recipient can melt it and hide the note), etc -- as well as beginning to rethink the modern world's reliance on the written word in general and consider how oral messages and other non-written communication might have been used

as for the tactile side of things, as i said in a previous post, if you can't touch book parchment, go find your local irish musicians and see if the bodhrán player will let you handle their drum (or good quality orchestral timpani will do too! but with a bigger drum it's harder to feel both sides of the skin). drumskins made of goatskin are very similar on a tactile level to parchment, just a little thicker and not processed to quite the same level as a writing surface. it helps you stop thinking of them as super fragile once you realise people are whacking them with a stick regularly, and you can learn about the difference between the hair side and the flesh side of the skin and stuff and see the way the hair leaves traces in the skin and so on. this helps with the tactile understanding

(the cheaper the bodhran, the rougher the reverse side will be even if the front is still nice and smooth, which also makes you realise the difference between high quality books where you can barely tell which side of the page is the hair side, and low quality ones where they're not fully treated, there's still hair, whatever)

i talked to a conservator lately who told me the way he got into book conservation was via musical instrument repair -- they are more similar than you would think -- and i know trad musicians scattered far and wide enough to be reasonably confident that even if you're in an area with no touchable medieval manuscripts, you can probably at some point find a drummer who will let you play with their bodhrán in exchange for a pint or something, lol

but in the mean time there's lots of cool videos about there about parchment making which i do think is a crucial step to understanding it as a writing surface! and i will see if i can remember the names of any of the books i've read...

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

i watched iasip. once again, thank you for the long post. you really sold me on it, and i'm glad you did. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts to, so i thought i'd come back here.

(just for the record, i watched from season 5-16, because i struggle to get into shows if they start off slow. after i write this, i'm going to go back and watch season 1-4)

my first thoughts were, i'm surprised how much of the soundtrack i know. the background music and intro go so hard, don't get me wrong, but i was shocked how much of it i've already heard from youtube videos and stuff.

my seconds thoughts were. woah i hate everyone yet i care for them?? now that is good writing. but also i've never gasped or said "oh no" aloud so much while watching a show. again, good writing.

surprisingly, several of the episodes like, hit me hard and got me genuinely feeling like shit. cough the suburban house episode cough.

i was also surprised at the out right gayness. normally from these types of sitcoms, i've grown to accept the odd gay joke and gay-coded characters. but a canonically gay character that's sexuality is brought up often and isn't just stereotypes ontop of stereotypes? that (sadly) really shocked me.

i also found myself able to predict the way the episodes were gonna go, not for all of them but for quite a few. my brain would just assume the worst, and then it would happen. which, i think added to the atmosphere if anything. the dramatic irony and the dread i would feel as the episode progressed really just hooked me. i knew it was all going to shit, i hated it was all going to shit, but i couldn't stop watching.

overall, a very enjoyable show. i think i might like it a little less when i watch the earlier 4 seasons, because i'm assuming it'll be physically painful to watch. but again, thank you! you've created an iasip fan!

I'm really glad you liked it! thanks for the update bro 👍 (and are you saying you literally watched the entirety of seasons 5-16? if so that was SPEEDY as hell dude that's awesome)

and yep! a lot of the soundtrack, including the title sequence song, are just from an unlicensed free music library online lmfao, so a lot of youtubers and stuff use it when they need music that won't get them demonetized for improper copyrighting etc. this is because they started the show with such a small budget lmao, and they decided to just stick with it. it's a funny bit tbh. here's the pieces they use for score if you were wondering, I listen to them a lot lmfao it's genuinely good music (coming from a music major who listens to instrumental orchestral shit a lot lmao)

and YES it's so awesome how terrible the characters are as people, yet you're still captivated by them and genuinely care about them. that's storytelling baybee!!! some people don't really vibe with that aspect of the show and it puts them off so I’m glad you liked it.

the suburbs episode LMAO that one's a classic. something I had a bit of trouble with at the beginning was being able to separate myself from the characters and just appreciate the comedy and story from an objective standpoint. I just really tend to put myself in the characters' positions or immediately find any way I can to empathize with the scenario. but this show becomes so painful to watch if you try to do that the whole time, so learning to take myself out of the story and just really not take any of it seriously at all has been interesting to say the least. this isn't to say you shouldn't have emotional responses to the show or connect with the characters, not at all, just that I had to learn to really not take the jokes and scenarios seriously. I hope that somewhat made sense

and yes!!! canon gay representation!!! even though rob mcelhenney (guy who plays mac) isn't gay, his mom is gay and he has two gay brothers, so he has been surrounded by the queer community his entire life. he's one of the few straight men who I think are truly qualified to play a gay character, and he does it very respectfully and mindfully, while not compromising the spirit and humor of the show itself. I really respect him for that, and it's one of the things that makes this show really special to me.

(p.s. idk if you've seen mythic quest? that's another one with great gay rep. I think I remember you mentioning you'd seen it but I thought I’d put that in here just in case you haven’t)

you saying that you would predict what was going to happen next because you just thought "what's the worst way this could go," and then it did indeed follow that worst case scenario, made me laugh lmao. I have a similar experience watching. it's exactly like you said: you know it's going to shit, you hate that it's going to shit, but you just can't stop watching regardless.

and, I don't know if you’ve already watched seasons 1-4 by the time I post this, but they're really not bad at all. in fact, seasons 2 and 4 are in my top 6 seasons of the show overall, and the season 4 finale is one of the most iconic episodes in the entire series. I just meant that season 5 is a good place to start because it immediately gets going, it makes sense without too much context, and it's a good way to gauge whether you'd be into the rest of it or not. but that's awesome that you just immediately watched all the way to the present.

anyway! yippee!!! welcome to the club! I’m a pretty new fan too tbh I started watching this august, but I’m really glad I was able to recommend you something that I love, and that you really enjoy as well. lmk what you think of seasons 1-4 or if you ever want to talk more about the show, as you can see I am always down to yap about my favorite sitcoms lmao (sorry about the unnecessarily long response) happy honda days 💯

p.s. here's a picture of the sunny cast at la pride :)

[iciousill]

Hayashi Yuu: 100 Questions (101 actually) Part One

Brief translation of most of the 100 questions Hayashi Yuu answered in his YT video. Split into 2 posts due to character limit.

Q1 - Q50

Top 3 movies? Doesn't have an actual favourite, but he listed Shawshank Redemption, Léon, 100 Yen Love.

Does he read fan comments? Yes, he reads them all and likes everyone's comments.

If he could be reborn, would he want to be male or female? Male.

Most important item? PC, because without it he can't practice his voice acting or conduct his YouTube activities.

Favourite character? In high school, Ijuin from Tokimeki Memorial 2. He liked tsun characters.

A senpai he respects? Namikawa Daisuke.

How does he deal with anger? He just becomes too silent.

Which fast food joint's fries does he like most? First Kitchen's plain fries doused with a lot of their spicy ketchup (ピリ辛ケチャップ).

Favourite western-style clothing brand? SHAREEF (シャリーフ).

Opinion on women taller than him? SO JEALOUS.

Which of his work does he want viewers to watch? The Perks of Being a Wallflower (he voices Charlie Kelmeckis).

Hardest song he sang? Ado's Odo.

Impressionable childhood memory? When he was in kindergarten, he slipped and fell on the slide's side handles (the jutting part) left eye-first, and his left eye swelled up. (He elaborated on the memory in his first livestream)

Favourite hair colour? His pink-beige hair in Distant Goal.

When did he start playing the piano? 18 y/o. He went to a music vocational school and didn't want to just sing but to also play an instrument so he chose to learn the piano.

One-phrase acapella please. (demo in vid)

Highest and lowest he can go with his voice. (demo in vid)

Career aspiration other than voice acting? Primary/ grade school teacher as he's good at interacting/ playing with kids.

Type of woman he likes? Short haircut, slim body.

What does he do when he feels down? Sleep.

What does he want his fans to call him on YT? Hayashuu (はやしゅー)

Most wanted item currently? A portable camera to film videos for his YT channel, which he'd been considering getting.

High school club activities? Though he joined the music/ band club (軽音楽部), he barely participated in it.

A happy moment since he became a seiyuu? Tokyo Revengers got popular, and a lot of people he hadn't met in a long while got in contact with him again.

What quirk/ habit of women's does he like? (what gives the 'kyun' feeling) When she adjusts her hair behind her ear as she's eating ramen/ soupy food.

What to keep in mind during recording sessions? Trying to feel your chara's emotions is important, but pay attention to others' dialogue lines too.

Does he like Graniph clothing brand? Yes. Cute sweatshirts and hoodies, plus he notices the cute outfits (worn by women) during filming.

What challenge does he want to try? Collab with various singers.

What does he do for daily motivation? (I didn't really follow but seems to be on the lines of just thinking a lot)

Udon or soba? Soba.

Difference between acting techniques for anime vs foreign film dubbing? For anime you have to imagine how to portray the character on your own, as for film dubbing there's already an existing screen actor so the consideration is to fill in as the actor's voice.

Favourite manga? Recently, it's The Fable (by Minami Katsuhisa).

Any quirks/ habits? While deeply concentrated in gaming, he'd stick his tongue out (as demonstrated in the YT video), and he's worried about unconsciously doing it when doing game activities for work.

Which seiyuu does he want to collab with the most? Many, but if he were to pick one, Shirai Yuusuke because he seems to be the most involved with YT activities.

'Dark' personal history? In high school, he was a gyaruo who'd try to hit on girls.

Liquor recommendation? (Some kind of whiskey I didn't catch, not commonly stocked in shops; from his earliest livestream, I think it's Kirin Fuji Single Grain Whiskey)

Embarrassing experience? In the 2nd year of middle school, while in the library he gotta rip a silent fart. You can guess what happened :)

What did he like to play during his school years? A lot of Super Famicom games during primary school, stuff like Captain Tsubasa.

What pet would he keep? He's not really into animals, but if he had to pick, cat.

Most laborious/ tiring moment? He went on a 3-year hiatus from acting for club activities in middle school, but once again aspired to become a voice actor in high school. It was the most tiring period for him back then, having to juggle both school and work.

What makes him happiest? The times when he's eating (rice/ meals).

The senpai he's on best terms with. Katsu Anri, or at least he thinks so, and Taniyama Kishou whom he sometimes went to drink with.

Important points when dealing/ interacting with people? Don't get carried away.

Where does he want to go for a vacation? Barcelona, Spain.

Which seiyuu does he think has a great voice? Tsuda Kenjirou.

Seasoning that he likes? Tabasco.

Protein flavour that he likes? Cookies and cream, strawberry.

Favourite outfit on women? Pants style/ overalls.

What spicy food challenge does he want to try? Okamoto Nobuhiko suggested that he try The Source Hot Sauce, but as it costs over 20,000yen he hasn't tried it yet, maybe one day.

For breakfast: rice gang or bread gang? Rice gang. Natto, rice, and miso soup.

[smooth-goat]

hi robin lol 1, 6, 7, 13, 14, 18 (ik you do but I want to know the answer to the second part), 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 35, 36, 37, 42, 43, 49, 50, 51, 58, 61 (out of all of them), 62 and 63 (for a&a), 64 (for ginger tea) 68, 69, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 78, 79

so many !! fjdsklaf (ask meme here) i'll put most of the answers under a read more cause its long

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

oh i daydream for sure. my fics tend to start as a single paragraph elevator pitch, basically, in my brainstorming document. And i'll daydream and experiment a little at what scenes that would include, what character interactions, different moods and settings—the Vibes. then i can start outlining. even though i can type quickly, my thoughts still move faster, and i feel i need to think things out before i start typing something and forget the other ideas in my head

6. What's the last line you wrote?

"The infant whimpers in the arms of the woman beside the pulpit. Snufkin eyes flick to her for a moment, Moomintroll sees. He adjusts the large scarf across his shoulders. His words stumble, just a little." — from a&a

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

Moomintroll’s paw twitched on the small of Snufkin’s back. Squeezed slightly. Hardly daring, Snufkin pressed his forehead into Moomintroll’s chest, breathing in his scent. Light, at first, and then sinking in. Fresh bread and laundry soap. A tinge of alcohol on his breath.

13. Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I used to (as in just two years ago) be able to listen to music or have old youtube videos on in the background as I wrote. I wrote about half of "chlorine & corticosteroids", probably, with jenna marbles videos playing in the background. but something changed in my brain and now i need Silence or maybe a looping instrumental song. I like Erik Satie's "Gnossiène no. 3".

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Most often, I write in my room, crouched over or lying on my stomach very babygirl. Favorite though is writing in the patio of my local library. Outdoors, nice weather, free wifi and power outlet. I can have a little beverage and look at trees and birds.

18. Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

As we both know, of Course i enjoy research jfdskla the one that required the most was probably "chlorine & corticosteroids" actually. It was the longest fic I had written at the time, so there were more little details I wanted right. Also it was about ulcerative colitis, a condition I don't have, so I wanted to do research to get it right. Medical information, of course, but also forums and reddit threads and tumblr posts by people with UC to get a feel for actual life with it. The experience of being on a low-fiber medical diet, of EDCs relating to fecal incontinence and ileostomy bags. Also also because I set it in Flagstaff, Arizona: a place I have never been to. So I spend a lot of time on google maps looking at different neighborhoods and bus routes and knowing where everything in the city was. I might have spent more time researching a&a, but i think the research for c&c was more necessary. then again, i did read whole books for a&a so. idk.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

already answered !

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

I do this thing, for the beginning of a story (or chapter) that I have the outline establish a few sentences, then start writing what is functionally the second paragraph. And then I can never think of a good first line, so I just make that "second" paragraph into the first. And I feel it usually works? I think it skips the boring little establishing bits and catches interest better. Wrt outlining though and broader plots? I don't really think the beginning, middle, or end is the hardest. I'll have really strong visions for specific scenes, and I just have to figure out how to fill in between them. I guess most of those are in the middle, but the middle is also just the biggest part of the story, so I don't think it's fair to say it's the hardest for that.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

Worldbuilding can be fun because of all the research, but I feel sometimes I get too in the weeds and lose steam. I try to reign myself in and research as I go when needed. I write my outline and a notable amount of prose all at once, bouncing around a little, and then the outline is simply cannabalized by the prose.  I do that especially with dialogue, where I write most of the actual "script" so to speak on my first pass and then add the tags and pacing sentences after. I think that first pass is the most exciting, where I can see the story change from ideas in my head into a more concrete vision.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

when i write and can't immediately think of what joins moments together, i'll fill it in with a placeholder, like [few sentences] or [transition]. sometimes they're more specific, like [back and forth about scheduling] but sometimes i don't have an idea for what goes there. and sometimes filling in those gaps is like pulling teeth

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

mood and tone, i think, are my strongest. the sort of atmosphere and how the air hangs and all that

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

I definitely do want to get more comfortable writing sex scenes. I think they're a rich vein of narrative and character and symbolic importance and I want to practice that more. I also want to get better at more complex narratives. All my stories, mostly given their length, have only had the capacity for a single plot, and maybe small threads of others. In a few years, I'd like to be able to write something with definite A and B plots.

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

answered here !

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

This kind of goes back to the outline turning into the prose. Usually I get a sentence in that's just very plain text what happens, and then I'll go in after and backfill actual prose. And usually I know as I write what spots need reworking, and I'll leave a comment to myself (e.g. "rephrase" or "move to [x] paragraph" or "would he be this direct"). Or it'll simply be a word that I want to run in a thesaurus cause the perfect word isn't coming to me at the moment but I don't want to lose momentum so I just flag it for later. But I don't think I do a lot of editing tbh. Sometimes I read over finished chapters to catch repetitive lines and such, but a lot of big structural editing I do as I write in the outline stage.

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted? (L)

Favorite that I've posted might be "Black Cohosh". I think it was a change in direction into the kind of stuff I really enjoy writing now: a sort of moody, introspective piece weighted with symbolism. Also bees. I also really like "chlorine & corticosteroids" in the sort of same-but-opposite way. It's definitely a modern piece with a modern voice, and I think it has a good tonal balance between the humor and affection of Jesse and Lake becoming close and the weight of Jesse facing his dangerous people-pleasing and Lake's and Tulip's experiences with ableism.

36. What fic are you proudest of? (L) 

Proudest of is definitely a&a. It's the longest thing I've written and the most unapologetic, I think. It took a lot to include the plot points I was nervous about, but I think it was worth it

37. What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

answered here !

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I think "Sweetpea & Daffodil" is a good title on the floriographic front. "gratitude & please return my affection" really fits the theme of what happens in it, the letters to ones own disabled body which read like two lovers in pain and desperate to make it work. tbh i think my floriographic titles have all been pretty apt, cause these emotions are exactly what the code is built for. Yellow rainflower standing for friendship but also betrayal, undying love but also infidelity. Lavender symbolizing devotion and distrust. I also like "chlorine & corticosteroids" for its contrast, showing the two very different worlds of Jesse and Lake respectively, and seeing them interact.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Oh I have a wip called "Common Courtesy", focused on Snufkin and Pappa's interactions, where Pappa Does An Ableism and then instead of actually apologizing, builds a ramp to Moominhouse, and is a little Too expectant of praise for it. Getting into infrastructural segregation and Moominpappa's inability to apologize and just. Seeing these two very different but equally stubborn men interact.

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

I think "Ginger Tea and Parsley Oil" is a decent introduction to the style and topics that I like to go into. lmao i just read it again and ive definitely gotten better (so much of it feels clunky to me now!) but i think that's a good an entry as any

50. How would you describe your writing style?

A part of my writing style I've put a lot of focus on for years is word choice. There's a sort of emotional depth, I think, that can be found in words that sound a little unnatural. As if each one had a pause before you spoke it. My backburner OC story Ink Blots has a significant portion of dialogue between people speaking in a mutually non-native lingua franca, so there's always this sort of haze of people translating things in their head, how this translation affects how they speak. And I think that's something that I've transferred into my fic writing too. 

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

For sure! tbh i haven't been reading much fic lately, but books I like to read are often different than what I write. I've liked Kurt Vonnegut for many years now, who has a much more blunt style than I do: much shorter word length and simple grammar. And I love Jane Austen, who writes very differently from me in both content (satires about the English landed gentry) and style (quippy dialogue and sometimes meandering prose). I've also enjoyed epistolary novels, like Dracula and Ella Minnow Pea. I've never written epistolary works before, but it seems fun

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

hard to pick! i use a lot of it fdjaskl i'd say one i like is in a&a chapter 16:

There's a single word sitting in the middle of the table. It's heavy. The wooden legs creak and groan under its weight. Moomintroll fears putting anything else down even a little too roughly will make the table collapse.

i think it's evocative, effective, and i was able to play with it the whole rest of the chapter with characters' interactions with the physical table they were sitting at mirroring their approaches and avoidances of the topic at hand

61. In [all of your fics], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

idk about favorite cause that's a tough question, but i really like the scene in "Yellow Rainflower" where Alicia and Snufkin are talking at night about why Snufkin took so long to come back and never even wrote her. I think it was good move into the stuff I like to do now: conversations beginning to put equal or more weight into what is unsaid than what is actually said.

62 .In [acacia & asphodel], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included? Why did it get cut?

Oh when I was figuring out a&a, I wasn't really sure of its format. Would it be a one-shot series, a single piece, something in between? I have a bunch of little ideas but there are two I am a little sad to see go. One is where Alicia takes in a stray cat, and there's some fun little banter between them over it. But it's one that includes Sisu as a toddler so when I narrowed the scope of the fic to just the pregnancy and Sisu's first few days of life, I had to cut it cause it wouldn't make sense for her to do it then. Another is a sort of scrapped epilogue, where Moomintroll paints Snufkin giving Sisu a bath in the sink. I cut it cause for one just like before it required Sisu to just be a little bit older (though by just a few months), and also it was redundant with the closing chapter I have already. Also it felt a little too neat and tidy, and I wanted a more ambiguous ending that signified another beginning, not something that could read more as a happily-ever-after.

63. What was the hardest part of writing [acacia & asphodel]?

answered here !

64 . If you rewrote [Ginger Tea] now, would you change anything?

I like Parsley Oil as it is alright, but I think I would restructure Meadowsweet. More internal monologue, less verbal monologue. I think there are things that Snufkin would think but not say out loud that I had him say out loud and are just a little Too Vulnerable for him to voice.

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

I feel like that would be really hard to trace. I've read a lot of fic jfkdlsa I like to read through entire tags of a fandom (a character or ship or another tag), or sometimes the entire fandom's tag on ao3. I think looking at different fandoms though, my writing style is very influenced by Pathologic fics I've read. The symbolism and the moodiness and the weight and the politics are all,I feel, lifted more from those works than a lot of Moomin fics.

69. What are your favorite fics at the moment?

i'm not reading any fics at the moment jfkdsl  favorites that i've had, though, include "Gracilis", "Darling, Oh", "The Little Book of Daffodils", and "Moss". I also really like Weevilo707's Infinity Train fics.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I love getting complimented on symbolism, especially when it's something I didn't really notice myself doing. Like when I was doing it, I knew something was meaningful and important and so put it in, but I couldn't articulate how, and then I see someone put all my own thoughts into words. It really reminds me of why I love sharing my writing—I love the collaborate discussion and the enthusiasm with which I can talk to my friends about it.

73. What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Often symbolism—especially lately, cause a&a has had a lot of symbolism and narrative parallels, and I love talking about that. I also get compliments on research (of course) and on specific gut-punch lines, often at a chapter's end.

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

answered here !

75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

answered here !

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

I think the external pressure I face writing is not in regards to writing what gets more attention—I've tried writing it and know it does better but also I know it doesn't feel as rewarding or interesting to write—but in avoiding topics of controversy. Including sex scenes, discussions of sex work and of eugenics and abortion, showing sexual harassment and antisemitism, depicting the common instances of ableism that I'm certain a notable amount of my readers have performed themselves. The controversial stuff, the kind of stuff that gets strangers to rally against you, can be scary to share. Internally, sometimes I do feel pressure to keep to a publishing schedule, feeling like I "owe" readers a regular update. But ultimately, I know that's not true. I'm a regular guy and a pretty busy one at that. Writing a novel for fun and for free? This is something I'll do when I have time and if I treat it too much like another job then I'll lose my love of it.

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

for general writing, the sort of "get-er-done" motivation, I like to get inspired. I read my old stuff, I listen to the playlists that I made, I make amvs in my head. Something that will get me emotionally invested in the art. There's also the motivation wrt the content of what I write, and for that I keep thinking about this anon I got, a disabled person who was really touched by the first sex scene in a&a, saying they hadn't felt represented in a sex scene before. That's just a really poignant thing for me, to be able to make another disabled person feel seen. Stuff like that, hearing from other disabled people, seeing our shared experiences—that's really motivating too, encouraging me to keep writing what I'm writing, because while it might be niche, there's an audience that really cares.

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

One of the biggest things that's helped me is analyzing the writing of other's—stuff you like, stuff that's just not your taste but effective, and stuff that just sucks. Why do certain things work and others not? Where's the line between personal taste and common consensus—and is that line where you feel it should be, and why that? I've loved film analysis, and video essays about films. I think that sort of critical thinking is really helpful for knowing how to construct your writing. (robin ?? suggesting research ??? who could have guessed)

[trashbending]

the ones i listen to the most

rosalía. i appreciate that even tho she's an international superstar she still makes music that's weird as shit. her vocal talent shines on the flamenco stuff but she seems like a real student & lover of all the other genres she pulls from, she comes w the concepts & visuals, & she's also rly hot

bad bunny. also an international superstar that's rly versatile. i also appreciate the ally shit he does (the apagón video, yo perreo sola, the shirt he wore on fallon)

frank ocean. new album when!!

charli xcx. i'm sure u gays already know this but she makes impeccable pop music & she's also rly hot

kali uchis. she's literally never missed for the past 10 yrs & i'm so glad she finally got famous-famous w telepatía. red moon in venus just dropped & it's also rly good

tobe nwigwe. rapper from houston, he's rly prolific in posting music videos that have this cool v specific aesthetic, beyonce gave him a co-sign. also acts in mo on netflix

doechii. rapper, she's on the same label as sza, can't wait for more bops. i feel like i hear her song crazy a lot in movie trailers

yaeji. she makes rly cool house music. korean-american

kaytranada. his production is v recognizable & it's great on his solo stuff, all his collabs (anderson paak etc), all his remixes

burna boy. nigerian singer, also internationally famous. i think last last & ye are his most famous songs but he's also p prolific

sudan archives. she's rly talented- she sings, produces, plays violin & a bunch of other instruments. natural brown prom queen is great

bjork. the weirdgirl legend

when u want to feel like a bad bitch

doechii

shenseea. famous dancehall artist

glorilla. she did fnf and tomorrow ft cardi

flo milli. you've probably heard her beef remix

latto. idk she has that song on the radio that samples the same song as mariah carey fantasy

some of these u probably do know somehow

foushee. she did deep end & she also co-wrote some songs for steve lacy on his last album, including bad habit

070 shake. she co-wrote alien superstar for beyonce and escapism w raye, she has a singular sound. she was also in the video for kehlani's melt (rip)

metro boomin. goated producer tbh. mask off, father stretch my hands (unfortunately), etc

kenny beats. also a great producer, did stuff for rico nasty, vince staples, denzel curry, etc. i like watching his show the cave on youtube where he makes beats rly quickly for guests (doja, etc)

mura masa. co-produced some stuff for pinkpantheress, including boy's a liar, i think he did a song for ariana, etc

jai paul. btstu is so good & you've probably heard it sampled somewhere

marc rebillet. he's in the genre of funky white boys who make viral jokey songs that are way more catchy than they should be

pierre bourne. produced magnolia, pissy pamper. i love those beats

pusha t. if u don't know clipse grindin u probably at least know justin timberlake? idk i'm old

other notable acts

nia archives. i used to get her confused w sudan archives but she's the one who makes drum n bass music. & she rly lives it she’s not on some trendy nostalgia wave

saba. rapper from chicago. care for me is a great album about loss & death but he makes fun stuff too

noname. she raps, runs in the same circles as chance the rapper etc, runs a community library so that's the vibe

ethel cain. she's also p versatile, i think her most known song is american teenager which is this pop americana anthem, but i like ptolemaea which sounds like doom & gloom. also she's trans

remi wolf. idk she has a quirkygirl vibe. i like the song quiet on set

the linda lindas. punk teenage girls. went kinda viral w racist sexist boy (they're chinese/mexican/salvadoran)

since the 2020 version is back on my dash here is this year’s poster 

(i’m 67 apparantly)

[autistic-autumn]

Music Ramblings #1

Decided to start doing these every now and again. Will tag all posts with music I've found and my thoughts on it with '#Autumn's Music Ramblings'. My inbox is always open if you want to send music in and I love people doing that. Will sort out exactly what's happening later but for now I just have this. If you want to send me music then feel free. Always like people sending in whatever. I'll probably respond to ask and then later give more rambling though. If you want me to give you music then you can also ask and I can find you something. I mostly just like rambling about music a lot.

Capital Punishment by Abuse Ken This one was suggested by @aroace-poly-show (sorry marlo for ping, didn't get chance to respond earlier when you shared). This isn't a style I tend to listen to very often but was very cool. The way the piece constantly plays with shifting the rhythm in the sections is very cool and gives a lot of drive between sections. I quite like how the chorus is effectively just pedaling the high G while shifting chords underneath. The leaps here are nice. Makes for a very strong sound compared to the more melodic verses. Do enjoy a nice modulation during final chorus. Overall very cool piece and will likely continue to listen to in future. Used to listen to a fair bit more vocaloid but never got that far into finding new stuff.

Samuel Barber, Adagio for Strings, Op. 11 This is honestly one of the best pieces I've found recently. It's so sublime and beautiful. I personally prefer the 1960 version Barber wrote for choir. Something about closely set voices that is particularly pleasing. It's just a little softer and smoother than the string. I'm pretty sure there's some psychological reason why critical bandwidth doesn't really apply so much to human voices. I've been listening to this almost on loop recently. Was particularly nice while walking in the rain yesterday while it was a bit dark and kind of cold. Hearing this live in a venue like a church with all that resonance would be incredible and I hope to be able to see a performance one day.

Samuel Barber, Toccata Festiva, Op. 36 Been on a bit of a Samuel Barber roll recently and just picked a bunch of his stuff out of the library. Did not realize this one was an organ concertina really. Very exciting and organs are such cool instruments that really don't have enough soloist + orchestra repertoire. I actually posted a video of this one after listening to it with just the organ pedal cadenza because that thing is wild to watch someone play. You never really know what you're getting with Samuel Barber and this was certainly a fun and dynamic piece.

Tchaikovsky Symphony No.4 in F minor, Op. 36 Generally a very nice symphony but that's sort of expected with Tchaikovsky. A bit frilly at times but that is also just how Tchaikovsky is. Not much really stood out to me as particularly notable in this but was generally nice enough. The third movement however is extremely cool and the high speed pizz reminds me a lot of the second movement from the Ravel string quartet. Certainly a lot of a fun with that movement and was quite interesting. Not my favourite Tchaikovsky symphony but nice enough.

Gustav Holst Op.3 Quintet in A minor This is quite a nice short set of four movement for Oboe, Clarinet, Horn, Bassoon and Piano. I do like wind ensembles particularly so this was nice. It's from Holst's student years and never got performed till after his death in 1989. Likely written around the turn of the century. Does sound like a late romantic piece rather than the later Holst works. I personally thing the first and second movements are the best. The first has some very nice melodies and is smooth and elegant. The second movement is highly paced and neat but nothing hugely notable I don't think. Third movement is pretty interesting and the B section is particularly pleasing, although doesn't last very long. This is admittedly the first time I have seen a proper score use quadruple dotted notes, normally you only ever get a double if you're lucky. Fourth movement is quite nice too although nothing really stands out to me other than the cadence at the end which is quite interesting and is certainly hinting towards Holst's later harmonic development.

[snookersneek]

This is a long post. Buckle up.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about how the dark academia aesthetic, whilst rich in aspects such as literature, music, and material beauty, is lacking in things such as activities.

So I've compiled a list of activities that I would personally deem as befitting the dark academia aesthetic (please do add to this list, as it's far from complete).

Sports:

Rowing (it's in literally every dark academic approved movie.)

Fencing

Tennis

Cricket

Croquet

Rugby (contrary to popular belief, women, men, and everyone in between can play this sport. It's not just for the boys.)

Polo

Equestrian sports

+ Figure/ice skating

+ Running (sprinting is handy for catching your lover when they fling themselves from a tower or something, and long distance is great for running alongside carriages that you want to rob.)

+ Boxing

+ Javelin, discus, wrestling covered in oil, think ancient Grecian Olympics.

+ Archery (how could I have forgotten.)

+ Ballet, ballroom dancing, traditional dances

+ Climbing

+ Snooker/Pool (either professionally or just for fun.)

Or, if you prefer the Oscar Wilde approach, no sports at all. That's cool too.

Games:

Chess (of course)

Backgammon

Cards (rummy, poker, blackjack, speed, whist, any game really, maybe with the exception of snap.)

Cluedo (I think it's 'Clue' in America. Don't argue with me, it counts as dark academia. It's got murder in it.)

+ Scrabble

Crafts:

Knitting (I knit socks, scarves, and am attempting a jumper. I find that it's far easier to knit your own jumper, scarf, socks, or whatever than hunting for one suitably 'aesthetically pleasing'.)

Embroidery (monogrammed handkerchiefs and shirts are so in.)

Weaving (sweet mother, I cannot-)

Making lace

Gardening

Cooking (not sure if this counts as a craft, but I'll throw it in just in case.)

Sewing (making clothes for yourself through sewing is a great way to make sure that your clothes fit perfectly, and are styled the way you want them to be. With practise, it becomes easier, and is definitely a useful skill to have.)

+ Calligraphy

+ Painting, of course. (release your inner Basil.

Outings:

Museums

Art galleries

Places of historical interests (in the UK, this might be more easily accessible with things like the National Trust. If you visit often, it might be useful to invest in a membership card with English Heritage (England), Cadw (Wales), or a National Trust card. I have a Cadw card, and I've found that it's accepted all over the UK, in the same way an entrance card specific to whichever country you're in would be too. I hope that makes sense.)

Public executions

Pubs

+ Go to a Café and sketch the people around you (I hear that charcoal or graphite is preferable here.)

Parks

Gardens

Churches, quaker meeting houses, graveyards, synagogues (sometimes the only places that are quiet are places of worship, and a lot of the time, they will be very welcoming in letting people in just to sit and think. Just remember to be respectful: don't insult people for their faith; don't scorn the place of worship; respect people buried in graveyards; don't take pictures, tempting as it may be, just to be on the safe side.)

The theatre

The opera

Concerts (classical music or otherwise)

Social events (memorial services, tours of your local university, open days, anything. It's an opportunity to learn, and spark intrigue because of your darkly mysterious and alluring demeanour.)

Things to do when you're bored.

Writing essays (it's really nerdy, but I find writing essays really interesting if they're on a topic I'm passionate about. It doesn't have to be an intellectual masterpiece, it could be 'The Top Ten Sexiest Classical Writers' for all I care. Just make it fun. Plus it's always an added bonus to that pile of messy papers that aesthetify your desk.)

Research (as above.)

Daydream about how you could have prevented the burning of the Library of Alexandria

Plan a murder / heist. Thoroughly.

Read something light (Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, Wilkie Collins or Colin Dexter novels are really good for relaxing. Murder mysteries are always good for winding down a little, whilst still keeping an active mind, so I would recommend those, but really, read whatever you want.)

Dress up

Read aloud

Perform a play alone (or to a pet, if you have one)

If you play an instrument, play through all of the pieces in your repertoire

More daydreaming

Take baths

Fake your death (by murder, of course)

Draw or paint something (no, it doesn't have to be good. Just do it to relax. See what kind of things you can create, like designing Frankenstein's monster)

Write a narrative piece

Watch a movie. A whole movie. Just sit down and watch a movie, no getting up and walking around, no flicking back and forth, no checking your phone. Just enjoy a movie without distractions.

Watch every single 'Greek Gods as vines' video on YouTube and count it as studying.

+ Listen to some classical music! I have a post on getting into classicl here:

Congratulations! You made it through!

Please, add to this list. I really want this to be expanded on, as I'm interested to see whether or not I've missed things, and if people agree.

[kaitosimp]

Once upon a time I posted some hc's I have for what Kaito does with his classmates when they hang out, but a few days ago I realized I never posted the hc's I have for him hanging out with the other students so here's part 2 🌠 It's the talent development plan mode all day everyday 🌟 This has been sitting in my drafts for days and it is very long so I'm sorry in advance 💀

☕ Byakuya (imposter) ☕

-They hang out in the dining hall, they chat over snacks and food per Byakuya's request

-Byakuya always asks Kaito to bake sweets like cookies or brownies

-They visit a lot of food places/restaurants

-Kaito knows it's a little odd to be friends with someone who literally imitates another student but he doesn't care

-They talk a lot about how different their lives are, and Kaito always tells Byakuya that he can trust him with his true self

🍴 Teruteru 🍴

-Teruteru always cooks dishes for Kaito to taste

-They go shopping for ingredients/food a lot

-Kaito helps him in the kitchen and Teruteru helps Kaito improve his cooking skills

-Since Kaito always goes stargazing with other people, Teruteru makes snacks and hot chocolate for them and joins in when he can

-Teruteru tries roping Kaito into peeking on the girls, but Kaito just talks about his passion for space so they end up talking about the universe

📸 Mahiru 📸

-Their friendship started when Mahiru randomly came up to him and asked to take a photo of him, Kaito is one of her favorite people to photograph cause of his smile

-They spend a lot of time walking around the academy talking and taking pictures

-Mahiru often takes photos of the moon and the night sky for Kaito

-She got him his own camera when Kaito expressed an interest in photography and taught him how to take photos properly

-They have a thing where they compete to see who took the best photo that day

⚔ Peko ⚔

-They alternate between regular training and kendo sparring a lot

-Kaito is able to make Peko smile, it usually happens when he goes to her with Gundham's devas or tells her cheesy animal jokes

-Peko taught him how to fight with a bamboo sword

-They trust each other a lot, like Kaito knows how she feels about Fuyuhiko and helps her sort through her feelings, and Peko can tell whenever he's feeling down and tries her best to cheer him up

-Their conversations are always about the universe, animals, and sword fighting

🎸 Ibuki 🎸

-They never stay still, when they hang out they'll be running around or playing instruments or playing games, they're super energetic together

-Ibuki taught Kaito how to play the guitar

-They like doing karaoke, she's literally the only person Kaito will sing around

-Ibuki writes songs about space for Kaito and sings them to him, it always makes Kaito happy

-They love listening to music together, whenever they go stargazing they'll bring a speaker outside to blast some music

👘 Hiyoko 👘

-At first Hiyoko thought he was an idiot and Kaito thought she was Kokichi 2.0, their friendship only started cause Mahiru wanted them to get along

-They act like siblings, they bicker a lot and call each other names but they care about the other, Kaito is lowkey protective of her and Hiyoko insults anyone who calls him an idiot cause only she can do that

-Kaito 100% supports/cheers on her dancing, he goes to all her performances with Mahiru

-Kaito gives her a lot of piggy back rides

-Hiyoko likes hearing about the stars and Kaito likes watching her dance practices, they also spend their time eating candy and squishing ants (sorry Gonta he tried but couldn't convince her to leave the ants alone)

🩹 Mikan 🩹

-It took a while for Kaito to get her to understand he truly wanted to be around her

-Kaito always visits her at the nurse's office and helps with whatever she needs

-They have positive talks everyday, Kaito helps lift her self esteem/confidence and always tells her positive things about herself

-Mikan always teaches him new medical things and Kaito teaches her random space facts

-He often makes sure nobody's bothering her or doing anything that could upset her, he knows it'll be a while before Mikan can stand up for herself so he does it for her in the meantime

🏆 Nekomaru 🏆

-They are so l o u d and boisterous and rowdy when they hang out

-A good 95% of their conversations are just them constantly motivating each other on

-They spend most of their time outside in the field playing sports or sparring

-They jog together in the mornings before class

-Nekomaru brings Kaito with him to his teams' sport matches a lot, Kaito always joins him in cheering the players on

🐹 Gundham 🐹

-They bond over animals, Kaito helps Gundham tend to them and he loves playing with the dogs

-Thanks to how much Kaito talks about the universe, Gundham started naming the newborn animals after space things

-Kaito loves playing with Gundham's devas

-Gundham tries to teach him spells and curses, Kaito doesn't have a single magical bone in his body but he still tries

-They like to wander around the city looking for stray animals to feed and take care of

☁️ Nagito ☁️

-It took forever for them to be friends cause Nagito kept talking about Kaito being an amazing beacon of hope while Kaito just wanted to hang out with the guy normally

-Nagito greatly admires Kaito, he always compliments him

-They mostly hang out in Kaito's lab, Nagito really likes listening to Kaito talk about space

-Kaito tries to change Nagito's negative views of himself, it always ends with them going back and forth about how great the other is

-If Kaito's with him when his unlucky situations happen, he always helps Nagito out of them (he lost track of all the times they almost got into hostage situations)

🕹 Chiaki 🕹

-Video games and chilling all day everyday

-They meet up to play games and to talk in their labs, Chiaki always falls asleep so Kaito keeps pillows and blankets in his lab for her naps

-When they hang out outside, they usually grab a bite to eat, walk around the school, and end up cloud watching or stargazing

-Chiaki falls alseep on him a lot so Kaito is always seen carrying her/holding her up

-Chiaki started playing more space related games to make Kaito happy, some of them were sci-fi horror which had the opposite effect but Kaito appreciated the thought still

🍖 Akane 🍖

-They always go to the dining hall to chat and eat, they often meet up with Byakuya and Teruteru there

-They have competitions to see who can eat the most meat

-They like going to the gym to spar, Akane sometimes teaches him gymnastics/parkour moves

-On the weekends, they go to Kaito's favorite space exhibits and Akane's favorite restaurants

-Kaito goes to her gymnastics competitions with Nekomaru to cheer her on

👑 Sonia 👑

-They love watching documentaries and movies, it's always a mix of occult/scientific/murder/space-y stuff

-They go to the library a lot, they have a tradition of picking books for the other to read

-Sonia loves hearing about Kaito's epic adventures and all the space info he knows

-They always make plans for Kaito to visit her home country

-They hang out outside of school a lot since Sonia loves visiting new places

☠ Fuyuhiko ☠

-Kaito always asked Fuyuhiko to hang out and was never intimidated by his attitude or threats so Fuyuhiko just gave up and let the friendship happen

-They like to climb trees, they make competitions of who can climb them faster

-Kaito invites Fuyuhiko to come along with him to his beach trips, they always sunbathe/tan

-Kaito makes fried dough cookies and other sweets for Fuyuhiko (Fuyuhiko really appreciates it/thinks Kaito's awesome for it but he never says that out loud)

-Fuyuhiko became interested in space thanks to Kaito and often asks stuff about it

🔩 Kazuichi 🔩

-They always hang out in Kaito's lab cause Kazuichi is in love with the spaceship simulator in there

-They talk a lot about rocket ships

-Kaito has already decided he wants Kazuichi to build the rocket ship that'll take him to space, Kazuichi is happy to fufill that request

-Kazuichi likes building stuff for Kaito, Kaito's favorite thing has to be the spaceman alarm clock he keeps on his nightstand

-They like to read magazines/mangas, watch action movies, and tinker with machines

💫 Hajime 💫

-Kaito always tries to make Hajime feel included since he isn't an ultimate

-They do all sorts of things around the school like watch movies, play basketball, eat lunch together, read, etc

-Kaito often convinces him to sneak out of the reserve course dormitory at night to stargaze

-Kaito made Hajime a sidekick an hour into being friends and Hajime has since joined the nightly training

-They like going on walks to just talk freely about whatever comes to mind

[cherry-interlude]

Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranked (2)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the second of five posts, going past my least favourites.

Money Hunny

Lana details the downside of money, detailing the ways it ruins lives and causes more problems that good for some. However, it’s simplicity isn’t what makes Money Hunny fall short – it doesn’t resonate at all compared to Lana’s countless songs where she is either rich and famous or she is desperate for money (or men with money). As thought-provoking as Money Hunny is, it feels too twee and out of place in her money-adoring music to really hit hard. If Lana has spoken on the topic of how money can literally damage lives more, it would perhaps gel better with me, but with songs like Money Power Glory, National Anthem and Off To The Races (among many, many others), it doesn’t hit the mark as a Lana Del Rey (alternate names included) song.

Strangelove

Strangelove is hypnotising, from Lana’s mesmerising voice that gives her the impression of a Las Vegas desert temptress, seducing strangers and wishing for the simple pleasures of Christmas lights and mint juleps. It hits best for the first opening chorus.

Stoplight Delite

Opening with a tuneful mechanical whir, Lana’s song wouldn’t be amiss in a teen romance film. I’m not convinced by the mishmash of music – the more classical band instruments with unrelenting whirring begins to overwhelm the song. Lana’s at her sweetest in this however.

Daddy Issues

The music is a bit too harsh but it’s a nice enough song, referencing Baby Blue Love among others. It isn’t Lana’s best by far, messy with lyrics that go all over the place, but (yet again), it would be more promising if it was completely remade and produced properly. The demo, I Was In A Bad Way, is a lot more maudlin and less enthusiastic, so it does fall behind Daddy Issues.

Catch and Release

It’s another song that’s kind of creepy, with an eerie vibe thanks to the relentless, whining music and Lana’s razor-edged warnings in her lyrics. Lana is practically a megalomaniac in this song, completely selfish and unafraid to ask for – and get – what she wants. Yet it’s quite a hypnotising track that, with further production, could be more cohesive and dramatic.

Marilyn

One of her old live performances, Marilyn is too simple in its lyrics but is a strangely erotic tribute to Lana’s icon. Lana owns the stage in this performance, a more carnal honouring than some of her other outputs.

Noir

Lana really goes for it in this furious song of crushed self-esteem and badly treated lover. Lana lets her vocals rip and tear as she growls about her “papi”, her being merely his dolly to do as he pleases. It's not her most perfect song but she doesn’t hold back from letting her hurt and frustration spill over.

Bellevue

Lana utilises haunting harmonising in Bellevue and though she seems hung up on her lover not wanting her around (she repeats it, as if she can’t let go, throughout the song) she still convinces herself she could go back to the old days of drinking and not being hurt. It helps – her chanting – to bring out the emotion of the lyrics, and maintain that broken feeling she is so good at conveying whilst saying how happy she is.

Put Your Lips Together

Taking on the character of a femme fatale who can hold her own, Lana seduces the listener on top of a chilled instrumental. Her lyrics are little bit dirtier as much as her vocals aren’t their best in the choruses (of course, it being a rough demo might have something to do with that). It’s definitely a song that, if completed, could rank alongside Beautiful Player and Ooh Baby in her seduction library.

Starry Eyed

Starry Eyed is a romantic enough song, with a gentle plinking intro that leads to a rumbling, Born To Die-esque track – complete with Lana’s pretty vocals. However, it does tend to drag, a slow song that I find majorly skippable. The dragged-out choruses get tiring after a while of listening so I don’t frequently listen to this song.

Breaking My Heart

Lana is fully materialistic in this song, referencing multiple designer companies as well as her desire to be loved and party. It’s not too imaginative in its lyrics, instead pure pop with a mixture of lyrics that never quite come through with a particular meaning, but it’s a good enough bop.

Butterflies Part 1

A little love song about a tumultuous teen romance, Lana plays off the lovestruck teen ultimately in love with a guy not good for her perfectly. It’s heady and full of the rushes of love, emotive enough to get the feeling of a girl going mad from her relationship.

Ben

Lana, using the rain to her advantages, moodily comforts her executive love in the full femme fatale façade, quietly passionate. Lana, as much as she loves him, is still her own woman, insisting she will smoke if she wants and playing with her voice to showcase such control.

All Smiles

Lana puts on a happy smile as she mopes over Jimmy in this small-town, fifties-painted tale of a girl who wants a man she can’t have. She mostly hits the mark in this acoustic track and has the right foundations for a decent country ballad.

My Best Days

My Best Days is a short song of cleverly utilised trap beats, autotune and slowly layering instrumental in which Lana isn’t happy without her lover. The organ outro is gorgeous, and it’s a track that can perk you up or calm you down.

Get Drunk

Restless pace, whispered mocking and an overall darkly seductive tone – it’s unembellished and, in some ways, could play as Lana dealing with her past alcoholism (demanding whomever the song is directed to should get drunk). It’s a vibe Lana should explore more over a decade since Get Drunk and the like were made.

Let My Hair Down

A simple and spooky track, Lana has an acoustic jam session consisting of unsettled guitar, bongos and her voice. It’s rather repetitive but it’s something different that works well. It shows Lana doesn’t need too many fusses and frills on her tracks to make something captivating, much like her Sirens album.

Every Man Gets His Wish

The intro of upbeat whistling climbs into a lowkey track that goes from sensual stuttering and a sad chorus that still sounds like Lana has a smile on her face. The mood shifts along with the tune but it is altogether cohesive.

Dance For Money

As stripped as the pole dancer Lana plays, Lana gently teases and cajoles in her ode to older men, lemonade and motorcycles with little else.

Back To Tha Basics

Much like the title, this track is a little bit basic but it’s still zesty with a wonderful instrumental and some pop-inspired vocals.

Butterflies Part 2

Production isn’t perfect on this track but Lana has such promise in this song in which she compares to lured in girls to butterflies pinned to a wall, all at once melancholy, knowing and cheeky. It’s unfortunate that the lyrics are so hidden beneath the dominating instrumental, but with tweaking this stormer could be even better.

Children of the Bad Revolution

The kind of song that would be found on one of her albums, Children of the Bad Revolution is a pacy dedication to Lana’s life as a delinquent a la the 1950s starlets. It’s good but it’s not anything too impressive, instead a chilled track that is simply about being free.

Beautiful Player

Lana mopes in the track about a somewhat disliked girl (perhaps they’re all jealous of her) who is in love with one of her players, giving the feel of a villain club performer smiling with red lipstick on and black mascara staining her cheeks.

Lift Your Eyes

Lana takes control in this song, instructing her lover to lift his eyes, rise above his demons and join her in self-respect. It’s a fine alternative to her gushing and moping characters, and with machine-like music running under the song, Lana sounds stronger than ever.

Valley of the Dolls

In this compact track Lana is once again frustrated by her lover. It’s pained but pretty with her vocals once again taking the forefront.

C U L8r Alligator

Just an acapella demo, C U L8r Alligator is simply Lana’s voice with her beating a rhythm in time. However, I really do like this song. I think it would sound even better polished and complete, but for a rough demo it’s promising. The Kristijan Majic remix is the version I most listen to, which makes it sound even more eerie (and if anyone remembers the D1ETPUSSY video that went with it, you’ll get why this song doubly haunts me). It’s not Lana’s finest but it’s a song I would have loved to see developed.

In The Sun

In The Sun is so hot it burns, more heatwave than refreshing sunshine, as she scorns her ex-lover. It’s not the finest instrumental but Lana sticks her fingers up with incredulous shock that someone could betray her so. She keeps the vibe great paired with blue skies and swimming pools with the upbeat music.

Hot Hot Hot

Big Bad Wolf, a slightly different demo track, is what I favour – stripped back, sexily uneasy, the lyrics letting the vivid imagery of red skirts, red cars and devilish men shine. Yet Hot Hot Hot is a decent, if not cheesier, song too, the chanting great for singing along.

Trees

Lana and The Rich Whores strike out with this kickass band-driven track that showcases Lana’s feistier vocals strongly. The lyrics are sparse but the overall feel of Lana going nineties-rock-chick keeps me wanting more of her in this style.

Push Me Down

Rather than being like the controversial Ultraviolence, Lana keeps the ‘violence’ fun in this pacy song, demanding her bad boy treats her badly in the best way possible. With a mildly rock edge, it’s still distinctively party-Lana, reminding of a pop-ier True Love On The Side.

She’s Not Me

It isn’t particularly imaginative pop but Lana lets the guitars do the talking as she whispers her warnings to her ex-lover. Lana owns this track, and though it feels a bit amateur in comparison to her discography and some of her stronger unreleased music, it shows she would have been great even if she went for the noughties chart pop scene. Fun and punchy, it’s a song to play on repeat.

I Don’t Wanna Go

The tentative and tight intro gives me the vibe that Lana wants to avoid going home rather than simply wanting to hang out with her lover, and her pain-tinted vocals in the chorus only add to the theory. She compliments her fascinating guy throughout the verses, a little more restrained but ultimately tense in delivery, before confessing how much she wants to stay out.

St Tropez

This is a great track for dancing and a celebration of being a party girl with plenty of attention. Best played when you want to imagine yourself as the main character.

Summer of Sam

Lana has yet another song of being a cutesy bad girl, comparable to the likes of Dangerous Girl and Playground, but it’s still fairly generic, standard pop fare. Summer of Sam is still quite fun however, drenched in pop and even with a hint of rap-talking keeping the song lively.

I Talk To Jesus

Lana returns to her religious roots in a less blasphemous way (Body Electric, for example) and instead sings a sad ditty about wishing she could have her old life. Solemnly it remembers her past (as seen in her older music) where she had the trailer parks, Christmas lights and her equally holy boyfriend.

Axl Rose Husband

The imagery is rich and gorgeous, not to mention the reference to one of Lana’s idols, but Axl Rose Husband doesn’t always do it for me – despite her strained, desperate vocals that perfectly exemplify her emotion.

Ooh Baby

Sampling Sexual Healing, Lana ramps up the sex appeal as she lets the listener know how much they want her, all while keeping it a little but more upbeat than the original song.

Other Woman

Lana’s tired of being the other woman in this track, and I like the way the lyrics flesh out the story a bit more rather. However, the chorus does get a bit tiresome sometimes.

Girl That Got Away

Lana shows you exactly what you’re missing as she mopes for her ex-lover with a smile on her face, taking the reins and knowing she has something he misses in a bubble-gum pop song about being the it girl you’ll regret letting go of.

[yung-gunshot]

I posted 18,522 times in 2021

17 posts created (0%)

18505 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1088.5 posts.

I added 19 tags in 2021

#fuck all life - 5 posts

#co signed - 3 posts

#great basin moment baby - 2 posts

#loud - 2 posts

#wig... - 2 posts

#thank you for always supplying me with more pics of fuyu - 1 posts

#every fucking year now i have to say this about the fires affecting the great basin and people look at me like im insane - 1 posts

#trinity seven was fucking garbage - 1 posts

#minus the absolute bollocks ending - 1 posts

#gantz was pretty good - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#fucking love wearing a mask when working and seeing some mf with those ring doorbell cameras like no your not gonna see my face today

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Tagged by @daturachan

teehee thank you sorry its late xD

~

Favorite color - gween

~

Last song -  https://youtu.be/da9YuE2N7rE black stacey dash by jpegmafia

~

Last movie - uhhhhh tbh its been a while but i think it was The Wailing

~

Last show - date a live season 3 baby

~

Currently reading - yofukashi no uta rn

~

Tea or coffee - became a coffee guy recently but i still like a good cup of chamomile tea

~

Currently working on - taking care of the new baby shrimp my older shrimps had!

~

Im gonna tag @euthymiclurker @bocchikurosawa amd @clovertheboymoder :)

2 notes • Posted 2021-07-09 05:52:42 GMT

#4

cherry, amethyst, penny, prussian blue and onyx :D

soooooooo xD

cherry: YouTubers you enjoy watching? 

theres this cod youtuber named marley thirteen and i just came across his video randomly one day. this guy is so fucking hilarious to me its probably the scottish accent but ive been enjoying his stuff and he’s pretty chill

amethyst: do you collect anything? 

when i was little i was really into collecting quarters for some reason, then i realized quarters have their deisgn changed like ever other year and i couldn’t keep track at some point. rn i would say im just collecting patches and enamel pins but really causually bc my local hot topic doesn’t carry a big selection

penny: icecream or cake 

icecream baby im not a big cake fan tbh

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine

its gotta be a root beer (barq’s or mug i don’t discriminate) if not then ill settle for some sour cream chips

onyx: do you still play Minecraft?

i used to play a lot when i was a freshman way back but i haven’t touched it since

2 notes • Posted 2021-09-25 03:42:10 GMT

#3

green, blue, turquoise, claret, cream, lilac, pecan!

sooooo x2 :)

green: do you have a favourite flower?

hibiscus because they make a tasty sour drink which i love

blue: preferred type of weather?

gloomy thunderstorm type of weather windy and light rain is the best, then its any type of snowstorm

turquoise: favorite sea animal?

octopus and jellyfish were always number one for me and its closely followed by isopods lol

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

i used to play the trumpet when i was in 6th grade but i stopped and never continued, i really wanted to learn drums but it just never happened

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any?

i have neither of them, piercings are really cool but i dont think i would look good with them, tattoos are nice and ive thought about getting some like under my arm and thighs/legs i probably would let friends give me the good ol stick and poke for some random fun small tattoos

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish?

all creatures :)

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up?

Arcanum by Show me the Body

2 notes • Posted 2021-09-25 04:56:22 GMT

#2

peony, mulberry, almond!

these are dangerously close i feel like lol recently i made a playlist of song i would kill to and sometimes i feel like i could never be as funny as you~! ily!

3 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 06:21:51 GMT

#1

Tagged by @advancewars2

shuffle your music library and name the first 10 songs (im pulling from my huge playlist where i dump everything i like)

S.O.S In Bel Air - Phoenix

SISTER/NATION - Brockhampton

Pink Ocean - The Voidz

Vindaloo - Armand Hammer

The Message - Kamasi Washington

Fuck the System - System of a Down

Hunter - Portishead

Grimy Waifu - Jpegmafia

Whatever I Want(Fuck Who’s Watching) - Death Grips

Prescription/Oxymoron - ScHoolboy Q

let see @kururugi-kun @daturachan @fuyumayuzumi @shinjis @dementatree @stalemochi teehee

7 notes • Posted 2021-10-02 03:14:21 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[yukiobeyme]

hii, can I ask for a MC who is really into music and always play their acoustic guitar and sings when they’re feeling blue? And how the bois would react when then discovered that and listen to a MC playing and singing for them to make them feel better?

Song by Robin Ozminsta (sp?) I can’t find her but the song that I chose for the opening is the opening to Andrea Gibson’s “Maybe I need you” I hope this met your expectations! Thanks for being patient.

Also spot the Twilight Reference

You have been playing the acoustic guitar for as long as you remember. You are a self-taught guitarist and singer. You tended to play more when you felt upset, channeling your energy to make beautiful songs.

These dry Autumn Breezes

The stories they hold

I’ve got my reasons

For feeling so old

My body aching

For warming days

Its not only the season that change

When I want them to stay

 Lucifer:

Lucifer froze outside of your room, captivated by the hum of the acoustic guitar and your soft voice. He decided to come back another time to ask you about your task, after listening for a little while longer.

Lucifer gets stressed a lot, but he likes to think he handles it well, regardless that his brothers (especially Mammon) disagree. It was one of those days, where even his favorite records couldn’t calm him down. He practically growled when someone knocked his office door, when you cowered away from him, he apologized profusely and immediately.

You took in his tense and uptight form as he walked back to his desk and then you took in the melody that was playing off the record player.

“Kiss from a Rose?” You looked questioningly at Lucifer.

“You know it?” Lucifer seemed genuinely surprised and impressed.

“Give me a second,” you said as you raced back to your room to grab your guitar, you shyly came back to his office and presented your acoustic to him, “I can play it for you?” You made it seem more like a question, but you were beyond nervous.

Lucifer stood up and walked over to his record player, turning it off before leaning against the counter and looking at you expectantly, “Well go on,”.

You quickly nodded and made your way to sit down before taking a deep breath and began to play. You allowed yourself to get lost in the music and the strumming pattern, hoping there weren’t any micro mistakes; something demon ears could pick up. You didn’t notice that Lucifer had made his way over to you, you jerked when you felt the couch deep.

“That was Beautiful, thank you,” Lucifer said quietly. You both feel into silence before Lucifer spoke up again, asking how long you have played. You were embarrassed to find out he heard you play, but then extremely touched when he asked or more so told you he would love for you to play when he was stressed. It became a thing for you, to play some of his favorite instrumentals or even some soft classics, he told you he loved your voice and it really does help him relax.

 Mammon:

Mammon heard you playing and immediately came into your room without knocking, causing you to let out a scream.

“Dammit Mammon!” you yelled and threw a pillow he easily dodged.

“Why did you stop playing?” He tossed the pillow back on your bed and then tossed himself on your bed, looking at you expectantly.

“Why? Because you scared me?” you should be used to Mammon coming in and making himself at home, but sadly you always hoped he would knock.

“Well you aren’t scared now, so continue on,” he nudged you with his foot.

With a sigh you would pick up playing the song, once you were done you looked over at Mammon to see him looking rather peaceful and calm.

“Mammon?” you asked quietly, not knowing if he was asleep or not. Mammon simply hummed in response, cracking an eye open.

“Are you falling asleep?” you asked with a giggle, which caused him to bolt upright, “What do you mean fall asleep, I was resting my eyes!”

Later, you and Mammon would hang out and he would occasionally request a song. You started to learn more Classic Rock songs for him, or at least the ones that sounded okay on the acoustic. Mammon definitely askes you if you could get an electric guitar.

Leviathan:

Levi was the only one who knew you played the guitar, you willingly told him that you knew some of the anime theme songs. You forwent that face you tended to play it more when you were upset, but while Levi was socially awkward, he could pick up on emotions pretty good. There was a difference in your posture and how your concentration face looked. When you were playing when you were sad Levi would just calmly sit beside you and enjoy the music with you, he wouldn’t ask what was wrong but just keep you company and if you wanted to talk to him you could.

Whenever Levi was upset or stressed, you played music for him; ranging from his favorite anime theme songs to your favorite instrumentals. His favorite song you ever played for him (or than the TSL theme) was This way by Depapepe. He would ignore you when you entered his room and he was playing games to destress or calm down but as you played more music, you watch the tension melt from his body.

“Thank you,” He would whisper quietly as he gently put the controller down and looked over at you, giving you a shy smile.

“Anytime, Levi,” you would reply with a smile and ruffle his hair and laugh as he swatted at your hands.

Satan:

You and Satan said you would work on homework together and you were in the library when he arrived so he headed to your room when he overheard you sing. Satan waited until it sounded like the song was done before knocking and collecting you for homework.

A few days later, you went to go hang out in Satan’s room for a bit when you heard him playing his instrumental music. You knocked before cracking the door open to the peaceful scene of Satan reading on his bed.

“Clair de lune?” You asked, forgoing your usual greeting.

Satan looked up surprised, “You know Debussy?” he asked, marking his book before sitting up.

“My mom played a lot of classical stuff around my childhood home, I know it on the guitar too,” You shrugged.

“I heard you playing the other day,” Satan smirked when he saw your eye widened, “Play for me?”

“Let me get my guitar,” you nervously half-ran back to your room to grab your guitar before heading back towards Satan's room. Right before entering his room, you paused and took a deep breath before entering his room again.

“Do you want me to play Clair de lune?” you asked quietly, as you carefully sat down on his bed.

“You don’t have too, it might be tough,” Satan replied, scooting closer to you.

You nodded and instead opted to play Can’t Help Falling in Love, you even decided to sing along to the song. Once the song ends you shyly looked over at Satan, who had a soft smile on his face.

“I love you too, MC” he whispered and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You went red that he saw through your song choice but happy he seemed to feel the same way.

“Will you teach me how to play?” Satan asked quietly.

It became a tradition that twice a week you would go to Satan’s room to teach him how to play the guitar and the first song he wanted to learn was Can’t Help Falling in Love his reasoning was he wanted to sing it back to you.

Asmodeus:

Asmodeus came into your room and dramatically dropped down on your bed and sighed.

“I couldn’t get the picture Devilgram picture, MC! What am I going to do?” Asmodeus said dramatically rolling over to see you were frozen in place with a guitar in your hands.

“Oh, you play?” Asmodeus’ eyes light up as he got on his stomach, resting his head in his hands, and crossing his legs.

“I do,” You said slowly unsure where the conversation was going.

“Play me a song that reminds you of me!” Asmodeus squealed, excited that maybe you would play for him.

You thought about for a moment, what song could you play for Asmodeus. You started to run through all his traits, he was gorgeous, lustful, amorous; so, what song would work. You decided to play Sentimental Journey, a song you learned because it was apart of Only After Dark playlist.

You watched as Asmodeus reached to the music, he took a deep breath and watched you carefully as you played through the song. You stumbled when you saw a flash and quickly stopped the song to see Asmodeus holding up his D.D.D.

“Asmodeus, what are you doing? You asked a little stunned.

“Taking a picture for my Devilgram! This is the perfect image!” He started excitedly, “Oh, but what do I caption it? MC, tries to seduce me in their room?” That might be a good one.

“Asmodeus!” You shouted, feeling your face getting a little warm.

Much to your dismay, that picture does end up getting posted on his Devilgram with that caption and even worse there is a video included.

Asmodeus then comes to you to play the guitar when he is upset or for some reason is feeling insecure about himself. You tended to play Sentimental Journey, which always seems to make him relax and peaceful.

Beelzebub:

Beelzebub found out you played when he saw you play Belphegor to sleep and Beelzebub was already your friend and adored you but right now, he adored you even more. He talked to you occasionally about your passion, usually over food or when you had played Belphegor to sleep.

When Beelzebub asked you to play him a song, you knew the perfect one right off the bat, Jimmy Buffet’s, Cheeseburger Paradise. The song was upbeat, fun, and about food. Some of the same words you would use to describe Beelzebub. He seemed to enjoy the song and your singing voice a lot.

“Man, I want a Cheeseburger now,” Beelzebub said as you heard his stomach growl. You laughed but followed him to the kitchen to watch him cook up way too many cheeseburgers for himself.

From then on you tended to play for Beelzebub whenever he was hungry and couldn’t get to food or played for him when you played for Belphegor. Whenever he heard you playing your acoustic by yourself in your room, he tended to collect snack and share then with you until you felt better or at least until he could get you to laugh.

Belphegor:

The acoustics in the Planetarium is the best, so you played your guitar there all the time. What you didn’t know was Belphegor's favorite place to sleep. You were playing more Melancholic music; it was raining for the first time in Devildom and the music that flowed through the room seemed sitting. You didn’t expect Belphegor to show up and throw his pillow at your feet before curling up.

“Keep playing,” he mutters into his pillow, rolling a little to look at you,

Though he couldn’t really see you nodded and continued to play. You watched as his body started to relax and how peaceful his face looked as he drifted off into sleep.

You stayed and played throughout Belphie nap knowing dinner was in an hour or so, and you figured your fingers could take it.

Beelzebub came in to gather you for dinner and once Belphegor was awake, he asked what song you were playing.

“It’s Singing Through The Storm by Shaun Hopper,” you told him and started talking about other songs you knew and could play.

“It should play the next time I take a nap in there,” he told you before sitting down at the table.

Eventually, you did, you rearranged your schedule a little and have it so Belphegor normal nap times in the Planetarium lined up to the times you practiced the guitar. On nights you had trouble sleeping you would go to the Planetarium and play and Belphegor would eventually show up. Though during the times, you couldn’t sleep, he would gently guide you to put your guitar down and to curl up with him to go to sleep.

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[purplesurveys]

1191

survey by voicedance16

name yourself: Robyn

name (one of) your best friend(s): Angela; she’s for keeps.

name 3 things in your fridge/freezer: I don’t think I opened the fridge at all today, but if I had to guess...eggs, bread, and our pad thai leftovers from dinner earlier.

name a color you're wearing currently: Green.

name the last thing you ate: I treated myself and ordered spicy tuna salad tonight because I had a shit shift. It’s been a while since I felt a little burned out with my job, but it happened today and it wasn’t very pleasant.

name the last store you went to: I never go out these days...does online shopping count? I’m always browsing through Shopee, if anything lol.

name the song you're listening to: ON - BTS.

name the artist of that song: BTS.

name your favorite animal: Dogs or elephants.

name what pets you have, if any:  Two dogs. Kimi, Cooper.

name the town/state you live in: No thanks. I live near Manila though, which is probably the only city most people know from the Philippines anyway so that should suffice.

name something commonly ordered at Starbucks: I think my usual is a pretty common order – caramel macchiato.

name the last person you talked to in person: Not sure. I think it may have been Nina? I was just jokingly asking her if her bias recognized her again on a VLive, since her comments have been read by her favorite group recently, and she tells me they even laugh at them :( Perks of liking a smaller, more underground group for sure; pigs would have to fall from the sky before anyone from BTS notices me lol.

name the last person you talked to on the phone: My mom. I didn’t hear her calling for dinner last night, so she ended up having to call me from downstairs while I was hanging out at the rooftop.

name the current day of the week: Tuesday.

name the current month: May.

name the current time: 10:22 PM.

name the last movie you watched: I have not watched an entire movie since i’m thinking of ending things back in September. I did watch a snippet from Portrait of a Lady on Fire a few weeks ago, though. That’s the closest thing I’ve got to watching any film recently.

name the last book you read: This one I’m even more uncertain about.

name a place you've been on vacation: South Korea.

name a place you'd like to go on vacation: Malta or Turkey.

name 3 things you can see from where you're sitting: It’s pretty dark so I technically can’t ‘see’ anything, but based on what I know I brought up to the rooftop tonight I have my phone, my salad, and my vape pen.

name your favorite musical: Miss Saigon, if anything. I’m not a big fan of musicals.

name an animal (any): Turtle was the first that came to mind.

name a fruit: Mangoes.

name a vegetable: Lettuce.

name a common breakfast food: Pancakes. They’d sound so good rn, too.

name a color: Grey.

name a type of flower: Dandelions.

name a type of tree: Uh...mango again? HAHA I’m not very good with trees.

name a city: New York.

name a state: Indiana.

name a country: India.

name a continent: Asia.

name a planet: Jupiter.

name a girl's name: Jessica.

name the last person to comment you on Facebook: Angela. She tagged me on this post that was promoting a local shop that makes customized face pillows and she told me we should order a Taehyung one for me and a Seokjin one for her, hahaha. The concept is definitely cute but it wasn’t my style, so I showed her another shop that also makes face pillows, but prettier.

name a clothing store/brand: Thom Browne.

name the last book you got at the library: If I remember correctly, it was History of the Filipino People which, coincidentally, my great-uncle wrote.

name a restaurant: Yabu but eugh, haven’t eaten there since the breakup. I should order from them soon to commemmorate moving on heheh.

name a grocery store: Can I just name a local one? SM.

name an iPhone app: YouTube.

name an actor: Eddie Redmayne.

name an actress: Emma Stone.

name a music group: BTS.

name your favorite/lucky number: It used to be 4, but I’m now going with 7.

name something you've accomplished: Continued from...last night, I think? I have no concept of time anymore. I managed to survive this week so far considering how deadly my schedule was.

name something you'd like to accomplish: Get a promotion once I’ve proven myself capable.

name someone who makes you laugh: Hans can make anything funny.

name something exciting coming up soon: Some of my online shopping orders arriving I’m guessing by later today, yayyyy.

name a song that makes you emotional: Oh man, there are a lot. O by Coldplay is probably the one that hits the worst, though; I still can’t listen to that song completely to this day. Recently, I also can’t really avoid being sad whenever I listen to Butterfly by BTS.

name one of your pet peeves: Overly slow drivers.

name someone you know who is an amazing singer: Hannah.

name someone who is the same religion as you: JM.

name a holiday you celebrate: Christmas.

name the last 4 digits of your phone number: That’s too many, lmao.

name one of your cousins: My cousin Lei from my dad’s side.

name a book you loved when you were younger: The entire Septimus Heap series. I must’ve reread Magyk (the first book) a hundred times.

name a song you loved when you were younger: Let’s go withhhhh Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. Making sure there were no adults around whenever I sang along to “I’m a motherfucking princess” as an 8 year old was always a thrill.

name your favorite movie: Two for the Road.

name a popular book series: Percy Jackson.

name a musical instrument: Saxophone.

name a language: French.

name what other tabs you have open: Archive of our Own, Dailymotion, Bzoink.

name 3 things on the walls of the room you're in: The walls of the rooftop are bare.

name your house number 4.

name your high school: Nope.

name your college, if applicable: UP.

name your middle school See high school.

name your elementary school: See high school.

name the college you wish you went to/hope to go to: I was able to qualify for the university and degree I wanted to attend.

name your favorite teacher: My music teacher in high school.

name the color of your backpack: Hm, don’t really use backpacks anymore but the main one I had in college - at least until I switched to a simple handbag (aka my senior year when I started to not care lol) - was a pink Herschel backpack.

name a dessert: Leche flan.

name a famous landmark: Statue of Liberty, only because of the question after this.

name a place you might go in NYC: Tiffany’s.

name an inventor: Nikola Tesla.

name an article of clothing: Jeans.

name an ice cream flavor: Pistachio.

name a religion: Islam.

name an emotion: Resentment.

name a room in your house: Mine.

name a website: Twitter.

name a car: Hyundai Palisade.

name something you need to do today: It’s a holiday today so I technically should be off work, but since it’s a holiday squished in the middle of the week that’s just another way of saying my dayoff will be a scam lmao. That said, I need to draft an article today for a client.

name someone you admire: My dad.

name someone you miss: My two best friends.

name a part of the body: Thighs.

name the last youtube video you watched: It was a Taehyung-focused compilation.

name a quote you love: “If you really love to be loved, it’d be good to show those who love you how much you’ve changed.” There’s some background context obviously playing around in here and most people might not recognize the weight it holds if they’re unfamiliar, but it’s a quote that really means a lot to me and came to me during a time I needed to hear it.

[prettyoddfever]

P!ATD: early 2005

THE MAIN POST

This covers some key things that happened after the band had met Pete but before they left to record AFYCSO in June. Again, I wasn’t a fan during this season so I didn’t personally watch these events unfold. I’m getting my info from several hundred interviews, stuff I could look back on once I was a fan, the boys’ livejournal posts, and info a few fans from this season shared during the early Fever era. 

RANDOM EVENTS:

Pete told P!ATD he wanted to release their record by the end of 2005, so they were purely focused on writing songs – they never played a show. The guys had about 5 months this spring to write some songs.

Pete had gone back to Chicago, but returned to L.A. in January. On January 13th P!ATD said they were heading into the studio to record It’s Time To Dance as a band (which is why Brent once claimed that they started recording AFYCSO in January lol). They just went to visit Pete to record the second version of the demo that was used on FBR’s spring sampler. Here’s more about that. 

they had a new website in early 2005 but it wasn’t fully done until after they’d been touring for a bit. The message boards were also up in mid-January.

Nicholas Scimeca wrote on their myspace in mid-February 2005: “hanging with you guys in vegas sucked so bad. im super glad your bass amp works amazingly and the lyrics to that instrumental song are so good. the shit in hand walk was invented in vegas. i love all of you. kissies.”

Spencer, Brent, and Brendon had to have their parents sign their contracts because they weren’t 18 yet. They were sent their contracts around the new year but nothing was officially announced until March. The news wasn’t particularly secret, though, since the FBR spring sampler started coming out around Valentine’s Day and P!ATD was on it. (Can I please point out how I completely failed my chance to be an early fan… my friend gave me that sampler and I just let it sit there. I was also hearing a bit of talk online about how some Fall Out Boy fan’s band had a Cinderella moment, but did I go listen to their demos? nope nope nope).

P!ATD’s first album had an expected fall release date when they were announced as a new FBR band on March 15th. Here’s the picture they were using on most of their profiles:

Their myspace said “what would Jesus not do.” Their FBR & purevolume bio called them a dance rock band and mentioned the line “ambitious and desperate for attention” from one of the songs they were working on. The bio also said that they knew kids would give them one chance to impress, so it was “crucial to form the best first impression possible.” There was a quote from Ryan that said “We want to write a rock record you can dance to, we want it to be fun but at the same time it’s going to be very sincere.”

Ryan was quoting Chuck Palahniuk’s “everything you say is a self-portrait” a lot... it showed up in some future interviews, but it was also on the band’s online bios by this point.

the Panic guys were at the FBR and Friends tour in Anaheim in late March. The sampler was handed out there too.

Brendon’s name showed up in Alt Press as “Brendan Disco” ha. 

it sounded like the band made a homemade music video for It’s Time To Dance this spring that Brendon used for a class at school.

I wasn’t as into Fall Out Boy by 2005, so idk much of what people were saying on those boards or communities. I know a lot of P!ATD’s early fans came from there, though.

I think this photoshoot was done this spring, but I’m not certain about that. It was in the first half of 2005 for sure. It looks like it was done outside of the Sahara West library in Vegas.

The band’s practice space was in the T.K. Productions building. There were around 45 practice spaces there and it was about a mile off the Vegas strip. A couple articles tried to make it sound like P!ATD was in a crumbling building on the outskirts of Vegas, so… no.

Ryan told Blender in 2007 that there was a big-box porn outlet across the street from their practice space: “We went in once. We saw this huge rubber arm with a fist at the end and I was like ‘it’s time to go.’” 

by April it was just Ryan’s AIM and email that were listed as the band’s contact info. Ryan continued to use his blinkexists182 email through the whole Fever era (but his email listed on the band’s public profiles like purevolume was ryan@panicatthedisco.com).

Spencer had been the one who handled a lot of the band’s business side of things and that sounded like it continued.

Brendon was close with his high school German teacher and later came back to visit him after the band started touring. The teacher said that he’d sometimes find Brendon monitoring P!ATD’s myspace this spring instead of doing work for him.

Brendon had originally thought he should be responsible and go to school in Arizona to be a cosmetologist or hairdresser. He was still having second thoughts in 2005 and the rest of the band was still like wtf no.

I’m not entirely sure when the Relax Relapse demo was posted... I only know it wasn’t up in January or February but it was on purevolume in April. They also used that demo on the summer samplers.

Brendon turned 18 on April 12th.

by the end of Brendon’s senior year there were girls posting on his band’s myspace asking if he’d sign their yearbooks or take a picture with them before school.

A couple fans said radio stations near them were playing the demos this spring. 

THE CHALLENGING SPRING

Some people had already started hating on P!ATD online because they didn’t “deserve” to be signed and hadn’t “paid their dues.” Ryan said that “Rather than going to all these boards and writing what I thought, I just put it in the songs.” 

Basically, the band was getting a lot of hate for getting a record deal before they’d technically played their first show or even written many songs (this dragged on for the next year and got realllllly old omg). Imagine that you’re a moderately popular band in your city and you’ve been playing the local clubs for years trying to actually make it... and then some local band nobody’s ever even heard of gets a record deal?! So many small bands were indignant and resented P!ATD... I mentioned more about this in other posts too (like how Jon Walker initially hated P!ATD too before he met them).

Ryan told the Miami Herald in late 2006: “People came down on us for not playing the bar scene in Vegas. We weren’t even old enough to get into the bars.”

Ryan told MTV “there was a lot of pressure, because Pete had only heard, like, two to three songs, and all of a sudden we were expected to go and write a whole record, and no one was really certain how it was going to turn out."

3 years later when the band was touring for Pretty. Odd., they occasionally looked back at the process of writing AFYCSO and said things like this comment Ryan made at a press conference in August 2008: “We had ample time to write and decide what sounds good or not. We had no pressure and all we wanted to do was to put our music out there.” 

The band had to wait to record AFYCSO until Brendon had finished high school (idk why some journalists claimed he dropped out... the band said many times that Brendon was the reason they had to stick around Vegas until early June). Brent & Spencer were finishing school online. 

Brendon didn’t go to prom (which you could totally tell from the cosmogirl article in 2008 even if you didn’t read his livejournal ha).

I’ll talk more about song influences in a different post, but Ryan’s girlfriend cheated on him this season.

Brendon summed up this season pretty well in an interview on LiveDaily in 2006: “We had, like, four or five months to write the record. At that point, we only had, like, three demos. It was the most stressful time for us. We were so under pressure. We would practice all day. I got out of class at 10 a.m. I had a nap, go to practice at 2 and stay there until like 1 in the morning. We had 11- to 12-hour days. I would have to wake up again in an hour and go to school. That was my last year in high school. I was a junior when I joined the band, and my senior year I spent writing and recording.”

BRENDON’S SITUATION

Brendon talked a lot about how he worked at a Tropical Smoothie Cafe and sang for tips. He consistently said in early interviews that the money from his job paid for his share of rent for the band’s practice space, so that part of his story stayed the same. However, I doubt he was actually kicked out of his parents home & living somewhere else this season. Brendon had a much different story during most of the Fever era... so I’ll just say that at the very least he had unsupportive parents and it was a stressful season. Here’s more info about how some journalists heavily altered that story over time.

RYAN’S SITUATION

Ryan’s dad didn’t support his decision to drop out of college & throw away his scholarship. Ryan told Kerrang in summer 2006: “His problems with alcohol magnified and skewed things even further. I was not staying at home for weeks at a time. I was staying with my girlfriend, staying with the other guys in the band. There were times when I almost had to sleep at our rehearsal space cuz I didn’t have anywhere to go. Obviously I loved [my dad] and I cared about him but when you’re getting kind of abused by that person at the same time it’s really hard to try to help them.”

Ryan told Big Cheese: “I dropped out of school to write the record. I was on the verge of getting kicked out of the house. [My dad] didn’t consider it to be a real career.”

Ryan and the other guys continually used different phrasings that all meant the same thing: Ryan quit college after meeting Pete, after one semester, that winter, after being signed, at the end of his first semester, before/after finals (once Ryan said he didn’t even take his finals), etc. A couple times Ryan said he dropped out of college at the end of the year (which is still saying the same thing), but maybe that was interpreted to mean the end of the school year. All I know is a couple big magazines wrote that Ryan was still in school in late spring 2005, which led to some confusing narratives.

The Alt Press cover article in spring 2006 had some errors, so I’m only using direct quotes that line up with other things the guys have said. Here’s a quote from Ryan: “When I told my dad after the first semester that I was going to quit college and write a record, he was not very pleased. He definitely threatened to take everything away. I was on the verge of getting kicked out because of that decision… I’d be completely angry with him about wanting to kick me out of the house, but then I’d have to make sure he was ok and take care of him. I’d… try to get him back to being sober, and [it would be] like he forgot all about what I just did for him and go right back to wanting to kick me out. There were definitely a lot of fights, and he was in and out of the hospital a lot that year. There’d be times where I’d be gone doing something for the band, I’d come home and he wasn’t there. There’d be a message on the machine from the hospital, saying that he was there and to come see him. There was a ton going on in my life, all while trying to write a record.”

Here are the spring 2005 livejournal posts.

[sophiemadeleine]

Sophie’s retirement FAQs

Just explaining, not complaining.

I’ve been getting a lot of messages about my noticeable inactivity. It’s about time I stop being a hermit and answer your questions like a proper, polite human being...

Q: You haven’t posted since 2014! Are you okay?

A: So, last year I decided to take a break from music. This break has now turned into full retirement. Why? One big reason is that I’m dealing with all kinds of ridiculous health problems. I don’t really want to go into detail and get all dramatic, so all I’ll say is that the main symptoms are fatigue and pain in most of my joints. Playing and touring are very physically demanding tasks – so I just don’t have the strength anymore.

But please don’t worry, my illnesses are not life threatening, just very frustrating. It’s really not that bad in the grand scheme of things and I appreciate that there are many people in this world who are much worse off. So I refuse to let you feel sorry for me. (If you’re leaning that way, that is.)

Q: Can I still buy your music?

A: Of course! You can still buy and stream my music in all the usual places online. And there's an exclusive EP of old demos available from my bandcamp site.

Q: What are those "new" Sophie Madeleine tracks on Spotify/YouTube with the terrible album artwork?

A:They are badly produced music library demos I did many years ago to help pay the rent. They were released under my name without my knowledge or permission. Such a shame. I was hoping that my final release before my retirement would be something I was actually proud of.

Q: When are you going to do another YouTube video?

A: I’m not going to be able to do those anymore either. In fact, I haven’t picked up a musical instrument in a long time. I think I might be all music’d out for now.

Q: Will you sing at my wedding/birthday/pet gerbil’s funeral?

A: Even if you paid me wild amounts of money and said I could perform while sat on a golden throne with a velvet cushion, I would still have to say no. (P.s. my condolences about your gerbil.)

Q: I miss you!

A: I miss you too!

Q: Which ukulele should I buy?

A: Just buy the most expensive one in the shop. Do it.  ...failing that, a brilliant resource for ukulele buyers is ukulelehunt.com.

Q: But, but, but you’re giving up on your dream?! :(

A: Don’t you worry poppet! My dream was to earn a living doing something I enjoyed. I always (wrongly) thought that music was the only thing I was good at. So I did it, put my all into it and was very lucky to do that for as long as I did. Thankfully, I have now found something else that is enjoyable and interesting.

Having said that, whether music was my ‘dream’ or not, the kindness and support you have all given me during my music career was an unexpected and very lovely bonus – and a dream in itself. I was so lucky to have people like you to help keep me going, and I will always be grateful for that.

I still can’t quite believe that people on the other side of the world have listened to (and even enjoyed) those songs that I wrote while sat on the sofa in my pyjamas covered in cake crumbs.

Much love to you all,

Sophie M.