#i just remembered that once in English we could write something about anything we wanted
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lady-mimis · 1 year ago
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I WISH YOU WOULD - BATMAN
Summary: Where your relationship with Bruce didn't end up well but you still love him
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English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes that might be on the text
Notes: Hey guys! I'm back with an imagine of my favorite hero. I stopped to write for nnt, but I still have some imagines ready so I will post eventually. For me Bruce is such a dads girl. This took me a long time, I hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Violence and language
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"Mommy?" Your daughter called you. You were working on your laptop while your daughter was watching TV.
Tim and Damian asked for your help in some kind of security program they developed, so you were just reviewing and improving the system
"Yeah baby? what's wrong?" You stop typing and look at her.
She was hugging her giraffe plush. It was a gift from her dad. She is such a daddy's girl
"I was wondering..... if you could tell me about you and daddy?" She ask curiously with those big blue, bright eyes
The question took you by surprise. She is still a curious kid, of course, but you wonder why she wants to know it now
She was a copy of her father, except that she has some of your features. Its funny how you waited nine months for your baby to be born with her fathers features
"Hmm, what do you wanna know? Can i ask why the sudden interest?" You asked your baby daughter, then sat beside her on the couch, putting a cushion in your lap
"I want to know how you two met each other, I mean you two are not together anymore but you were one day, right?" She questioned you with an innocence that you felt your heart shake a little.
Thinking about how she feels with her parents not being together. You remember once she was saying something about all of her friends having parents who are married and live together. Of course, you tried to explain that your situation is not so simple, but she was just a kid and couldn't understand anything
"Yeah, darling well.... I met your father at work, he was my boss"
You revive everything in your head
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"Good morning, Lucius! I brought some coffee for us" You entered the laboratory, greeting your coworker and put your bag on your table
You worked for Wayne Enterprises and were responsible for the technology that Batman held since the company funded him and his equipment
You were working on a motorcycle for Batman since he asked for
This project was a direct order from your boss, Bruce Wayne. You had never meet him, he was always busy being a playboy
Lucius was the vice president of the company, so he had a lot of work to do. You impressed with how he would help you and find time to be a businessman
"I'm glad you're here, today we have a lot of work" He thanks you for the coffee
After hours in the laboratory, you get ready to leave
"Hey baby let's talk please, don't dare ignore me again!" An unknown number sent you a message, but you already knew who it was
"Answer bitch!" Again
"I need you baby! I can't live without you!"
Your ex boyfriend calls you, but you refuse the call
How did he find your new number? You were angry about him harassing you since you two broke up
"Stop calling me! we broke up. Stop it" Sighing deeply, you reply
"You're okay?" Lucius asks you curiously, raising his eyebrows
"I'm just tired, you know, Matthew has been kind of asshole and... " You fake a smile for him not worry about you
You stop your commentary after hearing the voice of the artificial intelligence of the laboratory announce someone
"Access confirmed. Welcome, Bruce Wayne" The AI greets him
"Bruce, what a pleasure! (Y/N) this is Bruce" Lucius introduce you to him. He is excited for Bruce to finally meet you
Well, you have to admit that he is not only handsome. Bruce Wayne is hot as hell
He looked at you, head to toe and licked his lips. He smiles to you with an arrogant smile and offers his hand for you to shake
What a skirt chaser!
"Enchanted to meet you" You shake his big, rough hands. He looks around, analyzing the lab
Bruce Wayne has an elegant posture. He was wearing a black, expensive suit, probably tailored just for him. This suit must have cost all of your salary
He walks through the lab with a confident posture, analyzing everything around him
"So you're the one who made the Batmobile upgrades" He states uninterested
Okay, you were not hoping for him to know that
"Yeah, it's me. I'm working on the motorcycle project too" You said proudly, pointing to the prototype that was in the center of the lab
Adjusting your white coat, you grab the sketches of the project in your pocket
"Well, I see you're doing good. Have you already made any tests?" He looks satisfied with the prototype
"Not yet, still working on the motor " You give him the sketches, then point at the motor sketch
"it looks excellent! I'm really impressed. Now I know why Lucius trusts so much in your work" He smiled charmingly, winking at you
You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Is he really like this?
"Thank you.... I think" Looking at your watch, checking the hours
"I better go. It's starting to get dark" You grab your things and walk to the door
"Take care (Y/N)!" Lucius bids you farewell
"It was lovely to meet you (Y/N), I hope to see you again" Bruce gave a head nod
"Wait (Y/N)!" Bruce calls you, making you stop and stare him, raising an eyebrow at him
"What you think about a dinner?" Bruce asks with a cocky smile, and you find it charming, but no way you're going on a date with him. That could work with other women, but not with you
Bruce asked you out the first day he met you! HE WAS TRULY A WOMANIZER LIKE THE NEWS SAYS
You had recently broken up so you were not thinking about a relationship at that moment
"Thanks but no" You fake a sorrowful look and then smile, winking, teasing him
You leave to your house before gets too dark
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That night, you were watching TV on your couch. It was almost midnight
You heard a car stop by the front of your house and assumed that it was one of your neighbors
"Where are you? I'm here. Let's talk " he typed
Okay, you're starting to get scared
You walk towards the window, seeing his car in front of your house
"No! Leave!" You reply in panic
"Baby, open the door!" He knocks on the door, gently at first but then harder
"Leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you!" You say it loud enough for him to hear it
"Open the fucking door!" A strong knock. He was beating the door, and in a little time he would open it
You grabbed your phone and ran to your room, calling the police. You close the door of your room, hiding yourself in your closet
Tears were all over your face
"911, what's your emergency?" The policeman asked by phone
"My ex boyfriend.... is trying to enter my home and i ...... " A loud thud echos through the house. He entered in your home
"He's here, please help me!" You whisper, crying in despair
You passed your address to him
"We are sending the police, stay hidden until the police come, please stay in the line"
You could hear him on the underfloor, looking for you
"Baby, let's talk. You know how much i love you!" He always said this
"I can't live without you, you're so good for me, I will kill myself if you don't show up. IT WILL BE YOUR FAULT!!" He screamed with angry
He was coming closer, and you knew that the police would not make in time
"Let's just talk, babe, we can fix this. I CAN FIX THIS!" His voice echoed behind the door as he tried to get into the room
He was kicking the door, and you knew how the material would not resist
"We can comeback together, it's just show up and say yes!" He broke in
He was close, and you could see his shadow through the door of the closet
He has a knife with him
You knew he had found you. He was walking toward the closet
"I don't want to talk to you! LEAVE ME ALONE! I FUCKING HATE YOU, WHY YOU DOING THIS TO ME??" Screaming stunned
When he stops by the closet door, something caught him by surprise and he falls to the floor
A shadow figure was in top of him
The shadow figure knocks out your ex boyfriend
"It's safe now, you can get out of there" A male deep voice spoke, it sounded almost robotic, maybe it was some kind of voice modification
You got out of the closet, and you stared at your unconscious ex
That shadow figure was standing by the side of your ex's damaged body
Then you saw your hero, Batman.
"I..." You could not say a single phrase without sobbing
He stayed there till police siren sounds could be heard, then he just disappears
Batman had saved you that night, if wasn't for him, probably you would not be alive. You were grateful to Batman
You're remembered that night all too well, it was a complete nightmare
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The next day after the incident you were given the day off by Lucius.
You stayed at your sister place until you found a new place for you
You had to comeback to your work, everything was so stressful and worst Bruce keep showing up and continue flerting with you
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You were on the park lot alone, fetching your car keys, and you feel a presence behind you
You froze
Someone put a hand on your shoulder
"Hey, you alright?" Bruce Wayne ask in a worried tone
You felt so relieved to see it was just him
"Yes, i just got scared, you simply didn't make any walking sounds" You observe him, and take a deep breath
"Oh, i'm sorry about that.. what do you say about dinner as sorry?" Bruce offered, scratching his throat, making a slight frown, and put his hands on his pocket, trying to hide his nervous
That's new, he was always too confident and cocky. Now he just look like a normal guy
So you decide to be honest
"Look, Bruce i will be honest with you, I recently broke up. It's been hard times for me, i am not looking for a date at the moment" You look at him with soft eyes, denying his offer gently
That made Bruce nod in knowledge and look at the floor for a moment. He admired your honesty
"Well... that doesn't mean we can't be friends" Still not convinced he waits for your response
Friends? WITH BRUCE WAYNE? That was a good joke, but he seemed serious about it
With everything that has been happening, maybe you need to relax. You didn't have many friends. All of your friends live in other towns. So why not?
"Hmm.. fine we can dinner together as friends" You hesitantly accept looking at his ocean blue eyes. Somehow, his eyes pass you peace and truth
"Friends then" He smirked and offered his arm to you, guiding you to his car
It was a great night. Nice jokes and good food
That has become a tradition between you and Bruce since that day. You get to know Bruce better and overcome your prejudices about him
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You could say that you had a soft spot for Bruce
You even met his first kid.
It was a surprise when he told you about Dick. You had never thought about Bruce being a single dad.
You tried help him with his dads duties but he always declined your help. Even with his interventions, you continued to help him to raise Dick
You remember telling Bruce to go easier with Dick
And finally, he opened up with you, asking advice on how to improve to be a good dad for Dick
Dick was a nice kid but had a sad story. He always used to tell you how Bruce was hard on him and how he wanted some freedom
So sometimes you would take him to do things that a normal kid would do
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When you found out about Batmans identity, you freaked out
You were working on the maintenance of the security of the labs
Everything there was powerful and presented some danger. So the technology couldn't end up in the wrong hands
The access was only permitted if the people had registered fingerprint and eye identification
You noted that Bruce and Batman had the same fingerprint and eye identification.
He had saved you that night
When he entered the lab, you embrace him so tightly
All you could say was "thank you" sobbing
Bruce got very confused and worried about you
After a few moments he connected the pieces
He asked you to work only for him in his cave and his Batlab, as you called it
You accepted Bruces offer to work for him.
Most of the time, you would work with him or Alfred on the projects. Alfred always commented to you about how you and Bruce were a good duo
Alfred told you, you were the first person that Bruce let into his life. How was he different after you
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You had been friends with Bruce for almost two years
You were at the annual Wayne gala
Bruce had invited you personally and told you how much Jason insisted on your presence. Bruce had recently adopted Jason since Dick left for Jump City
Of course, you didn't approve the kids being his sidekicks. It was not ideal for them, but that was the form they found to let go of the fury and anger they felt inside. Bruce knew it better like no one
Jason was a tough kid, but all he wanted was Bruce's attention. Yet Bruce would be more hard on Jason than he has been with Dick
Jason had a hard life, and even being tough he was still a kid. All he needed was love and kindness. So you did what Bruce didn't. You helped him with everything, homework, patching him, you both played video game together
You taught him everything you knew, how to cook, how to hack, how to make analysis, how to program and more.
"(Y/N) You heard me?" Jason poked you but you couldn't take your eyes of Bruce
Bruce is the host of the party,and of course there will be people around him but you can't avoid to feel jealous at the surrounding women
Bruce was talking with a blonde beautiful woman for a long time
"Sorry jay, what were you saying?" You give him a soft look, messing with his hair
"Its about the new ship you are working, I liked the design its so badass" He said, excited about this project.
Jason was your little assistant in the Batlab
You nod, smiling and keep talking with him until Alfred interruption
"Sorry to interrupt you, Miss (Y/N), but I believe its time for Master Jason go to bed" Alfred explained and put a hand on Jasons shoulders
"Can (Y/N) put me to bed?" Jason asks in a low tone, looking at you with pleading eyes
How cute, your heart melt away with that. How can you say no to him?
Alfred looks to you, waiting your response
"Don't worry, Alfred, I don't care doing it" You shrug, guiding Jason to his room
You were both in his room. His room was all decorated with cream and red tones. The room has some posters of some old popular cartoons you both watch together, and some action figures on the shelf on the wall where the writing desk is. Some books you had gave him as gifts are on top of the desk
He was laying on bed, and you covered him with the red blankets
"Do you think you can sleep with that music?" You ask, fixing the blankets so he could be warm
"Yes, it's not that loud from here" Jason makes himself comfortable
"Thanks (Y/N), it makes me feel home" Jason smile to you, the mix of blue and green of his shining eyes makes he looks so innocent
He was looking at you like you were his whole world
"Good night Jay, I'll see you tomorrow after school in the Batcave" You kiss his forehead and turn off the lights
You lead to the door, ready to leave
"Good night, mom" Jason whispered sleepy
OH MY DID HE JUST CALLED YOU MOM? You stop, stunned in front of the door, felling a mix of emotions
When you got out, Bruce was standing there like a ghost
"Ohh! You scared me! Stop showing up out of nowhere" You raise your hand to your chest, breathing heavily
"You didn't need to do it" Bruce crossed his arms seriously, taking a look at Jason's asleep form
Bruce was in front of you, blocking your passage back to the party. His huge form was hovering you
"I wanted to do it, Bruce" You state, putting your hand on his chest to get him out of your way, but he does't move
So you raise an eyebrow to him. What was he doing? Trying to intimidate you or whatever?
"I thought you would pass the night talking with that blonde woman?" You comment. Maybe a little too rude
You perceive the frown on his lips and how his eyebrows grew closer
"As the host, I have to talk with the guests" He narrows his gaze to you. You hate when he does it
He unblocked the passage, still staring you
You turn back to the party, ignoring his stare
After that, you felt frustrated and resolved to drink to drown your sorrows
At the end of the night, you were a little drunk....okay, so much drunk that your voice was nasal and you were hiccuping
That time, Bruce was chatting with a beautiful brunette woman, and she put her hand on his chest. Okay, that's enough. The jealousy made your face turn red and warm.
You roll your eyes, ready to leave the party.
Bruce was so stupid, why do you care about the women around him? You are nothing to him, just a friend. You hated that feeling, you hate how Bruce makes you feel stupid
You were leaving, but an arm grabbed your hand, stopping you. In the movement to turn around, you stumbled on your feet.
The arms hold you by the waist so you don't fall
"I got you" Bruce is the one helping you. His arms are so big and warm
"What you're doing? leave me... hic.. Bruce" You tell him, trying to get out of his hold while he leads you to the manor
"I'm not gonna let you leave alone in this state. You're drunk (Y/N)" Bruce keeps his hold on you, until you are in his room
"It's your fault, when you were talking with those hotties, I was... hic...drinking by myself" You say with a joking tone and get out of his hold to sit at his bed
"Are you jealous (Y/N)?" Bruce asks, having fun with the situation
"NO! nrgh!" You sink your head into his pillow
"So do you care to share why you are so drunk? We both know you do not drink like that" He asked curiously, looking at you with those beautiful eyes
"Just to shut out... hic.. my emotions. Its was... hic...so loud" You said, snorting with your nasal voice
Bruce chuckles at your comment and leans himself on the wall
"You know you can tell me, right?" Bruce crossed his arms, but his voice sounded soft
"Right, I just disappointed...hic.. that you didn't have any time for me just because you were talking..hic... with your hotties. We are friends, right?" Whispering the last part.
Who were you trying to convince? You or him? You were already over heels for him
Bruce just raised an eyebrow for you, he knew you, and the fact that you just lied to him
"Tell me (Y/N) what really happened for you to get that drunk?" He came closer and stopped in front of you, analyzing you
He is curious, you are not the heavy drinker type. To be honest, he never saw you so drunk as tonight
It was dark in the room, just the moonlight light it. Bruce eyes shone intensely in the dark of the room, his eyes look like the ocean
"You happen, Bruce, I cant keep pretending that i don't feel nothing for you" Your voice is so low that you barely hear it
Nervousness ruins through your body. You start to roll your rings on your fingers.
"Pardon me?" Bruce says confused
He doubts that he heard what you said. He shifts his weight, trying to stay calm. Probably you are just too drunk and were babbling
So you decide to speak out loud
"Damn it! I was so jealous, you can have any woman in your arms anytime you want! I hate see you with another woman, and how I'm not the one in your arms. Your stupid blue ocean eyes that hypnotize me..." Bruce interrupts your sentence and kisses you with desire
"You're the one that I want. The one who has my heart. (Y/N), you don't have to worry about the others women" Bruce cups your face and rubs your cheeks, pecking your lips
He let go of you and stepped back smirking at your shock form
"Okay Bruce now you got me! You always found a ... hic.. way to shock me" You toss yourself in his bed, and your nasal giggles fill the lifeless room
"Well? what can i do? I have been waiting since the day we met for you to realize the great eligible bachelor that I am" His crooked smile makes you laugh hard
"Tsc, you're to cocky, hic.. that time you were the biggest womanizer of the whole country" You state, and hear his laugh echo in the room
Bruce chuckles at your state the bed, your cheeks are red from drinking, and your hair is a little messy, but he finds it cute. You are a sloppy, happy drunk.
How you love his laugh, his smile, and his beautiful eyes. You love everything about him. Okay, sometimes he's a pain in the ass, but still you love him
Then he walks to the door without making any sound
"I should let you rest" Bruce says, opening the door
"Can't you stay?" You watch him hesitantly stop in the front of the door
"Pleasee?..hic" You plead
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At first, your relationship was wonderful. Bruce was a caring boyfriend and a good partner
Then Jason died
You were completely broken
You loved him so much. The pain was unbearable
Bruce was dealing with his grief on his own. You knew how he blamed himself for Jason's death. He felt regret for being so hard on Jason
You hated how Bruce closed himself off from you
Everything has changed
Bruce was cold, quiet and reserved
Bruce was not the same person you used to know
The fights started
Time passed, and you two had to move on
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When you discovered about Damian's existence. You felt devastated, mostly because Bruce didn't plan to tell you
It was a shock for you when you found a boy who looked like Bruce in the living room
He was just seven years old. About the time you and Bruce started to date
The fights started all over
You were in the batcave. Where you help Bruce with the technology and projects he and you create
"What hell Bruce? Is that kid really your son?" Inhaling deep. You couldn't stop the shake of your hands
God, you were so nervous
You already knew the answer, but you need a explanation
Bruce just murmurs in response
"That's not even an answer, Bruce!" You state, tapping nervously your foots on the floor
"Do you have a son with another woman? I suppose you know who is his mother?" You wait for him to respond decently
You were standing by his side while he didn't even bother to glance you
"His mother is Thalia Alghul" Bruce shrugged it off, like that was nothing
Did he already know about the existence of this child?
"Bruce, look at me for a second! You cannot give a shit about this, but I do!" You shout, trembling
"Bruce! Did you already know about the existence of this kid?" Your voice wavers and the tears rush down your face
You felt betrayed
This time, Bruce slightly shivered and narrowed his eyes, analyzing you. Probably he was thinking you were out of control
Bruce was thinking of a response to calm you, but he couldn't find it, so he stayed in silence.
The silence was the worst answer he could give you. You know how right you were about your suspicious
"ANSWER ME, BRUCE! DID YOU EVEN PLAN TO TELL ME?" Pointing a finger at his chest, accusing him
Bruce gets defensive when you shout at him
"That's none of your business, (Y/N)" Bruce shouts back feeling attacked. Maybe it was, but he didn't think of that because he is too proud
"IT'S NOT MY BUSINESS, OKAY MR WAYNE, THEN IF THAT'S NOT MY BUSINESS, WE SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER SINCE MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND HAS A CHILD WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND NEVER PLANNED TO TELL ME ONE FUCKING THING ABOUT IT" You snap with anger. You shed tears like a crying baby
You felt terrible, weak, and disrespected.
The shouts echo through the cave
He was supposed to trust you, right?
There was a time you two were best friends and told each other everything, even the most silly thing in the world. You were a good duo, you were always partners
But the things changed
The love that was pacific became heavy and cold
What you and Bruce had become?
The sound of your cries attracted Tim's attention
"Hey mom! you're okay?" Tim asks gently, giving Bruce a disapproving look
"I.... just need to rest" You take a deep breath, accepting Tim help
You stare Bruce with watery eyes. You waited for him to say something
He stares at you with a blank expression
"Takes your mother to her room" That's the only thing Bruce says before turning back, walking to another part of the cavern
Bruce simply turned his back to you
It means nothing to him anymore. He didn't fight for you two
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The situation became more difficult because Damian disliked you
He thought his father should be with his mother, not someone like you. His words were sharp like a knife
To be honest, you thought the same thing. You aren't rich like Bruce, you two had different lifestyles. Two completely different world
In all of these years he never cared to propose to you. Did he ever think of having a future with you?
You started to question yourself after almost six years together
The day you finally decide to leave
You were sick, having nausea, dizziness and vomiting
Alfred realized that and advised you to go to the doctor
You took a few exams
In the same week, Damian got sick. He was in bed, shaking with fever. You were so worried about him
You checked up on Damian sometimes, even with his sharp comments about you or how he disliked you
He was just a kid who was created with a rigid education. He had a hard personality. You couldn't totally blame him
Alfred asked you to give Damian some soup for dinner. You agreed and went upstairs with the soup
"Hey Damian i brought some soup for you" You knock on his door before entering his room
"Tsc you can leave it here" He said with a tedious tone of voice
"Hmm do you need help to eat?" You ask, leaving the bowl on his expensive white nightstand
"No! Leave!" Damian says annoyed by your presence. Okay he didn't seem to be on a good day
Still, he doesn't have the strength to get out of the bed or eat alone
"But... Alfred helped you eat the meals, right? I could help you if you want" You tried one more time
"Don't you understand? I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP" Damian shouts aggressively, he tries to pick up the bowl but ends up toppling it
You look at him in shock
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you" You say in a low tone, holding back your tears
You leave Damian's room quickly and walk towards your room
You couldn't take it anymore. You are unhappy, sick and tired
You were in your room. The room you and Bruce shared together one day
You grabbed your bags and started to pick up your things
"What you're doing?" Bruce's voice surprised you. He was downstairs the last time you saw him
"I'm leaving, Bruce" You didn't hold back your tears. The tears rush freely in your face
Bruce felt his heartbeat skip when he heard what you said. You cannot be serious
"I don't understand..". Bruce comes closer to you, trying to understand why you were doing this
You stop to pick up your things to look at him
He is in shock, and even with his facade, you learn to see through it
"No! I know you don't, Bruce! You don't even realize whats happening around you" You snap angrily
"What? you cannot do that (Y/N)!" Bruce tries to change your mind, arguing with you, but you have already decide
"WHY NOT BRUCE? YOUR SON HATES ME! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT US ANYMORE" You are so close to him but yet so far away. Giving a pleading look for him, you shake your head in deny
"Damian is just a kid..." Bruce answered back facing you.
You could swear that you saw a few of emotion on his eyes
"FUCK IT! WHAT ABOUT US BRUCE? DIDN'T YOU EVEN REALIZE THAT I AM SICK THE WHOLE WEEK? DID YOU EVER PLAN TO PROPOSE TO ME ONE DAY?" You screamed with agony, feeling your throat dry
He could see how you were hurt and unhappy
Bruce avoid to look into yours eyes. Not a single word left his mouth
"Your silence answered everything. I hoped you would be honest with me considering all of these years, tsc you are really a dick" You curse, turning back to pick up the rest of your things
You grabbed your bags, and turned around, ready to leave.
You give Bruce a final look, pleading to him to do something, say something or fight for you
You hoped he would say something or ask you to stay, but he didn't
If he had asked you to stay, you would
So you leave
Your words echo through to his head
Bruce's heart stops when he sees that you are really leaving, but he can't move
Maybe that was better for you. Maybe it was better for you to live without him always disappointing you
Bruce stays in silence, watching you leave
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You were completely heartbroken after the break up. You moved to your old apartment
Everything looked so empty, it was so strange to live there all alone.
You miss the kids, the noise of the manor, Alfred astute comments, and more... You miss Bruce
You and your sister went to the hospital to get your exam results
You remember all too well
In the doctor's office, sitting in a chair, waiting for the doctor to say the results of your exam
"Well, miss (Y/N), the results are not satisfying, but i have good news you might like" Isla gave you a sympathetic look and read some documents
"So I prefer the good news first, doc" You tried to sound optimist
You looked like crap, and you knew it. The last week had been so lonely. Tim and Alfred passed by your apartment to check on you, but it wasn't the same thing
"You are pregnant, congratulations (Y/N)!" She gave you the news
Your face goes blank
"(Y/N)? You alright?" Isla asked with worry in her eyes
"Yes... I think, I was not hoping for that, Isla" You explained, trying to calm yourself
She wrote something on her computer
"Right, but you have anemia, and this isnt good for you and the baby. It might bring you problems if you don't start to treat it. So you will have an obstetrician consult and I will accompany you with the anemia treatment, okay?" Isla smiles, handing the results to you
"You might consider to consulting a psychologist too, you don't look so well, it will make you good. Take care of your mind health" Her voice was kind, and you knew how she was right. You were a complete mess
"I will prescribe you some medicine" Isla catches the pen on her table and starts to fill out some papers
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When you got the results of the exams you couldn't believe it. You are Pregnant
"So? Whats got you so sick?" Your sister gives you a concerned look, as she come closer to you
"I.. cant believe it" You hand her the papers, still in shock
"OH MY! I going to be an aunt!" She is excited about the news
"That's not so bad, you just have to treat yourself" She tries to cheer you up
"Oh no. Why are you crying?" She embraced you while you cried. You were so hurt. It was so much for you
...
You had been consulting the obstetriciann, and everything was okay with your baby. You discovered you preganant for 3 months
Your sister were sleeping in your place to help you with the pregnancy
Your sister went out to some cheap club with her friends
You wake up to drink some water. Your throat was dry
You heard some steps behind you, so you stay alert
"Who's here?" You turn around to see it was Batman
Bruce was standing right in front of you, after all of those weeks
You relaxed since you're not in danger
"You know you could enter from the door like a normal person" You comment, rolling your eyes
He observed the place and looked at you head to toe
His presence is annoying you. Still, you could tell that his presence made heart beat faster
"What do you want?" You ask, breathing deep
"What is that (Y/N)?" He took some papers off his utility belt and shook them in front of your face. It was your exams
"Are you stalking me? Who gives you the right to pry your nose into my life?" You took the papers out of his hands
"Its not of your business Mr Wayne!" Your harsh look makes him shrugs
He was with his cowl, his blank eyes were observing you through the mask
"Not my business? It's my child!" He stated, with a frown on his lips
"I'm not going to repeat myself again. What are you doing here?" Walking closer to him, you could feel his scent. It felt stronger, maybe it was because of the pregnancy. How you miss him
Is he here to upset you more? To hurt your feelings again? You wish he could forget about you and leave you alone for a moment, since you two are not together anymore. But he always found a way to upset you
"The child... You cant have it!" He states in a deep, low tone
You could not believe him. His words were like a sharp knife in your heart
"What makes you think you can choose it? How cowardly are you, Bruce? hm?" You aggressively question him, pointing a finger at his chest, and staring him with fury in the eyes
"You cant have it! It's my child too!" He argues back, taking off his cowl. His blue eyes lost their shine. He looks tired, with dark circles around his eyes, his face is slightly skinnier
"WHY? YOU'RE JUST AFRAID CAUSE YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD FATHER TO ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN!" You know how to hurt him. Maybe it was too cruel to say it, but that was the truth
Bruce steps back with the comment, feeling hurt. You didn't like to hurt him but, he needs some sense
"Are you hearing yourself? Whats that Bruce? Why you doing this with me? don't you think you have made enough? Leave please! I don't want to see you anymore!" Pleading with watery eyes
His eyes wide, and the realization pass through his blue, tired eyes
What had he turn?
Indeed, He was afraid of not being a good father, but demanding those things from you was not right. He had no right to say those things to you
He broke you into pieces, and left you when you needed him
"I... sorry" Bruce whispered before leaving through the window
------------------------------------------------------------
The birth of your baby changed everything.
You were so surprised to see Bruce there to watch his daughters birth. At first, you were hesitant, but inside, you relieved
Bruce was watching your daughter sleep in your arms
"Look, I'm sorry for what i did to you. You didn't deserve that. I wasn't there when you needed me. Everything that I did upset you in a delicate moment" Bruce apologizes to you
His face full of regret makes you know that Bruce was being honest. He wasn't a man who expressed himself easily
"I want to be a good dad for her, let me help you. I want to be present in her life if you let me" Bruce held a sorrowful look
You had to make amends with him for your daughter sakes
------------------------------------------------------------
The kids and Alfred visited you in the maternity hospital
You were surprised that Damian was there to see you too
Dick, Tim, Jason, Your sister and Alfred are somewhere in the hospital, probably eating in the cafeteria
Bruce was taking a shower while you were arrested in that hospital bed, and Damian was staring at you with a doubtful look
"Hey kiddo, a penny for your thoughts?" You try a joke in a hesitant tone
"Tsc...What would I do with a penny? Anyway I have enough of money already" He says cockily
"Now you sound exactly like your dad" You giggle, having fun with his similarity with Bruce
He stayed quiet, still looking at you. This time, he was looking at you like a lost puppy
"You can say whats on your mind, dear" You look at him with soft eyes
He stared at you in shock. No one has ever called dear or been so soft with him like that
"Hm, I've been planning on how to apologize to you. I'm sorry its my fault that you left my dad" He apologizes in a low tone and avoids eye contact with you
"Hey dear, its not your fault. I didn't leave because of you" You sign for him to come closer
He hesitantly came closer, sitting at the end of the bed
"Any of the problems that i had with your dad weren't because of you. You're just a kid, any of this is your fault, Damian" You squeeze his hands
Damians face turns red, and he smiles slightly at you
"Since you're gone, my dad is so grumpy. No one can stand him anymore" Damian complained about his dad being a pain in the ass like you and Jason would say
------------------------------------------------------------
You really tried to move on, but the man didn't like the idea of dating a single mom
You swore to yourself that you would forget Bruce, but every time you were on a date you remember him.
What if everything was different? You wish it was
But life goes on
You left your work and opened your own workshop. You had your own laboratory and atelier to work on your engineering projects or whatever you would create
You moved to a bigger and safer house to live with your daughter
It has been like this for years
Now your baby is almost turning 6 years. She is your entire world. The biggest present you could ever have
You two were passing the time in the living room before her bedtime. You were working when she asked you about you and Bruce
You just told her how you two met
"Isn't daddys birthday coming?" She climbs into your lap
"Yeah, baby, it will be in three weeks" You caress her hair
"Daddy always looks at you like you are a diamond, mommy" She said, closing her eyes, enjoying the caress
"Hmm, baby lets take you bed"
------------------------------------------------------------
Talking about diamond
Bruce Wayne left the jewelry shop with a diamond engage ring. The Gotham prince has finally decided to settle down?, the news is on the screens
Maybe its for Selina? Maybe they had come back together?
"Hey (Y/N) you still there?" Barrys voice brought your attention back to the call
"Yeah, sorry about that... and no, your new suit is not read yet" You state, shaking your head, trying to forget the toughts about Bruce
"Hmm okay, isn't Bruce's birthday coming? Barry asked worried
"Why everyone keep asking me that? Yes, Barry his birthday is in three weeks" You say, annoyed by the question, grabbing your mug, starting to organize everything that is on your table
"Sorry, hahaha, I just didn't buy anything for him yet" He was having fun with your annoyance
"You don't need to worry about it, he's not a material man. He will like anything you give to him, you know" You organized the things, and fetched your car keys in your purse
"Sorry Barry, but i got to pick up my baby from school!" You say it in a rush tone
"Right, bye (Y/N)! Tell Gennie that Uncle Barry sent her a big bear hug"
You couldn't help but laugh
"You bet Barry!" You hung up
------------------------------------------------------------
"Mommy, can we eat ice creamy as dessert??"
You stopped on the mall to eat lunch and shopping with her
"Sure baby, let me just take another photo of you, you're so cute in this uniform" She was just the most adorable thing you have ever seen in her school uniform
She was in kindergarten, and Gotham Academy was a very secure and good school. Evangeline was even learning spanish and french
You pass in front of a decor shop. Once you had been there with Bruce
"I still cant believe you're serious" Bruce stares at you incredulous
"Why not? If i moving to live with you, lets just pretend that we are moving together and shopping new decor to our room" Smiling excitedly to him
"Alright! But nothing too colorful!" He surrenders
"NO WAY! I NOT LETTING YOU WITH THAT DREADFUL ROOM!" You say it loudly, and put one yellow duvet in the cart shop
Yellow was definitely your favorite color
"You need some color in your life, honey" You hold another duvet, but this time a yellow neon with purple leopard print
Bruce couldn't help but frown at that
You graciously laugh, catching his attention
"Whats so funny?" He asked crossing his arms with a grimace on his face
"You look so cute doing this face. Did you know you pout?" You pecked his lips
Bruce facades are gone with that. He holds you with his strong arms
"What? I do not pout!" You felt his breath in the back of your neck, he was laughing
"Mommy!!" Your baby girl shakes you, and you realize that you were standing there for a while
"Oh baby, i'm so sorry" You felt a little stupid to still think about Bruce even after all of this time
"I want ice creamy, and suddenly you stop in front of the decor shop. They don't sell ice creamy" She was pouting exactly like her father
"Tsc, You look exactly like your dad. I cant believe it." You say annoyed, shaking your head in deny
"What? My dad?" She had a curious look
"Lets get you your ice cream, baby!" You ignored and, she seemed to forget that you talked about her dad
------------------------------------------------------------
"Thank you!" You told the waiter
"Is it of your liking mini chef?" You ask, taking a sip of your milkshake
"Its yummy, mommy! but I think that if they put a handmade ice creamy, it would be more good"
"Why do you say that mini chef?" You lick your lips
"The industry ice creamy has so much sugar. Nothing its like Alfred's handmade ice creamy" She said, enjoying her ice creamy
"Well, with all the odds, you almost over with your milk shake" You state humored, laughing at her dirty milkshake cheeks
"Its still very yummy..." Shes was interrupted with screams
"What the fuck?" All you could do was protect your daughter from the danger
Some masquerade guys entered the place. They were high armed, and started shooting at everyone
------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh my! How terrified that girl must be. I know them. Her mother, she does some projects for me and the police force. You know, she is the mother of one of Bruce Waynes children, she created the other kids as well. I cant stop thinking that is one of the main reasons that the thieves got her and the kid" Gordon was the talking to someone on his cell phone when Batman showed up on the terrace of the building
What a terrible day. Bruce couldn't believe this was happening to him.
You and his baby were kidnapped, and he didn't find anything. He spent the whole day in front of the batcomputer searching for any trace of you.
All Bruce could feel was fury and fear. Fear to lose you two. Fear that he will never see you again. Fear that he could never say how sorry he is about messing up and how he was a dick with you. FEAR THAT HE COULD NEVER SAY AGAIN HOW HE STILL LOVE YOU
Bruce wishes he was a better man for you, he wishes things were different from the now on circumstances
Maybe its late for that. Maybe its too late to apologize
Bruce wished he never messed up with you. Maybe he wouldn't feel the regret filling his soul every moment since you gone
He wished you stayed, but it was so much for him to ask that of you
Maybe he was too proud. Maybe he already hoped that one moment you would leave him like everyone else did?
All he could do was watch you leave. It was for the best
At least you would not suffer anymore, and it would be safer for you. But God, that was the worst pain he felt in his life
What if he fought for you and him? He would give everything to come back in time. What if he asked you to stay? would you?
"Hey Batman, I assume that you already know the news?" Gordon hung up, looking at the man in the black suit. Batman seemed lost?
"Anyway, we need your help that Vick Vale don't stop calling looking for a scoop" He rolled his eyes, annoyed by the memory of the journalist
"The situation is that armed man entered in a fucking ice cream shop in the Gotham Mall and started shooting at innocent people and left with a single mother and a kid. We believe its a kidnap, and they are keeping they as hostage but they didn't call to her family asking for money though. In the worst case they might be... you know" He whispered the last part
"I wont let this happen! Not in my city!" Batman growls, making Gordon widen his eyes. He never saw Batman like this
"Any death?" Batman asked, holding his hands in fists, trying to calm himself
Gordon realized that Batmans body language indicated anger or better fury
"No, only injured people. Just five" Gordon said nervously
"Well, we talked to the people that were in the shop at that moment. They told us that they took the girl and the woman. The mother tried to fight, but there were many goons. One of them came behind her and hit her head to get her unconscious" Gordon told the statement of the people of the store
"Batman, I found one of them" Nightwing voice echos through the bug
"I'm on my way" Batman ansewered, and looks at Gordon giving him a nod, disappearing in the darkness of the night
------------------------------------------------------------
"I will only ask one time, Where are they?" He said it with threanteing tone
That mans face would be unrecognizable after that night
"I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T WORK FOR THEM. THEY JUST CAUGHT SOME OF US AND PAID TO DO THAT" He screamed, fearing for his life
A hard punch
"OUCHH! I SAID I DON'T KNOW NOTHING"
Batman punched that man until he spoke. Poor man
"Man, if you want some advice, you might start talking" Nightwing said from behind, watching the interrogatory batman style
"STOP! I WILL TELL YOU, OKAY? JUST STOP!" He screamed scared
Batman stopped waiting for him to say something useful
"THE GUYS SAID SOMETHING ABOUT JOKERS WANTED TO TAKE THEM AWAY FROM CITY, COUNTRYSIDE, OR OTHER CITY. SO THE BATMAN COULDN'T FIND THEM SO FAST. AS I KNOW HE HAS BEEN PLANNING THAT SINCE HE RAN AWAY FROM ARKHAM ASYLUM"
"WHERE IS HE?" Batman growls aggressive
"I DON'T KNOW"
"WHERE IS HE?" Batman punched him harder
"I SWEAR TO YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE.... OHH STOP"
Batman felt the fury through his veins
"Batman stop! you gonna kill him!" Nightwing said, pushing him away from the beaten man
Batman stop and looks at his bloody gloves and the mans face.
"Hes still alive, call the cops"
------------------------------------------------------------
The mood at the manor was not one of the best. Everyone was worried about you and your daughter. The Batman was trying to find you, and all they had were the goon words
Its been a week since you two had been kidnap
Bruce was on batcomputer all night searching for some trace of you
"Bruce, you should have some rest. We can handle it" Dick said in a worried tone
"I'm okay, Dick" Bruce told him without a glance
Dick was about to say something, but the phone started to ring
Bruce got up quickly, picking up the call
"Hmmm, helloooo Brucieee!" The Joker voice
"Can you guess who it is ? hahahahah" He laugh maniacly
"Joker" Bruce murmured deeply, and sign to Dick start to track the call
"You right, Brucie, its me!"
Bruce wanted to yell at him for taking you and his daughter away from him, but he knew it was not appropriate
If he wanted to find you, he would have to stay on the line long enough to track where the call was coming
"Well, I have something that might be of your interest" He said humming
"What do you want, to give them back?" Bruce asked in an angry tone. He would do everything in his power to get you two back
"Just some money, you know the bank don't liberate loan for prisoners hum, hum what a prejudice, right?" He said it with irony
"How much? How much do you want?" Bruce asked, sinking his nails in his palm hand nervously
"If they are really important to you. You would not care if I asked you for 30 million dollars. I know you are a generous man" Joker said humored
"Right, you will have it. Let me talk to them, i need some proof that they are alive" Bruce required with authority
"Talk to your daddy, girl" Joker demanded
"Daddy? Is that you? I miss you. Uncle joker told me that you would come here soon, but its been a week" Evangeline's voice had an upset tone
Bruce felt relief for hearing the voice of his baby
"Yes baby, its daddy. Im coming for you soon. You just need to wait a little more" He told her in a soft tone, trying to comfort her
"Where is mommy? I miss her too" She asked in a crying voice
Bruce heart skipped a beat when he heard it. Were you not with her?
"That's enough. You heard your kid. She's very, very alive" He laughed at his own words
"What about my woman?" Bruce asked in a harsh tone
"Your woman? Well, Brucie, shes not one of your properties, we gentlemen don't talk about woman like this" The Joker scolded his words, not liking his tone
"And last time I checked, she was completely single. So no, shes not your woman, Brucie" Joker stated excitedly
"I must admit Brucie, you had a beautiful woman, her beauty really amazed me. If I had the chance, I would get her pregnant too. But what a shame, Brucie. How could you let go of a woman like that?" Joker let out a snort of disapproval
That fucker. Hearing Jokers words about you only made him angrier
"Fuck you, I want to talk with MY WOMAN" Bruce growled aggressively
"Bruce? Is it really you? Please tell me our daughter is safe...." The sound of your voice is one of fear, and then they shut you out
Dick gave him a thumbs up. He tracked where the call was coming
"We had enough idle talk. Send the bat with the money in 24 hours. Be in Gotham docks. I will be waiting for you. Don't be late Brucieee" The Joker hung up
"MOTHER FUCKER" Bruce yelled at the phone, throwing it on the floor
He would not let Joker kill someone he loved. Not again
"Master Bruce, don't let the emotions overwhelm your reason. Focus yourself in the search, the time is passing" Alfred adviced him
Alfred was right. He don't have much time. He has to find you
"Indeed, the call was coming from the docks" Dick said, marking the place on the map on the big screen that was showing some information about the investigation
"They have (Y/N) in another place. Shes is not with Evangeline. We have to find her quickly" Bruce told him in a serious tone
"Really Bruce? Did you realize that we spent the whole week searching for them and got nothing until Joker called? He planned everything so you couldn't find mom in time" Dick snapped with a frown
"We know they are far away from the city, It seems they are in the woods" Bruce told him with a narrow gaze
"What we gonna do?" Dick asked worried about you and his baby sister
One thought passed through Bruces mind
"Call Jason" Bruce demand
"Jason? Why do you think he will find it before us?" Dick has a big doubt in his face
"Tell him to look in the woods close to Gotham and Bludhaven. Even the borders" Bruce ignores his question
------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm not helping you. Im helping mom, old man" Jason stated through the bug
"Copy Jason. Just find your mom, please" Bruce pleaded him
"Don't worry, old man. I will bring her back to you. Just don't mess up again or I kill you" Jason told him before Tim shouted at him
"Jason, come take a look" Tim had found your purse. Your wallet was empty, and your mini mirror was broken
It means that they were on the right trail. They were close to Bludhaven Cemetery
------------------------------------------------------------
Batman, Robin and Nightwing were observing the place.
Joker goons were everywhere, and Joker was playing with his daughter
"Hmm kiddo, The time is passing, and your daddy still didn't show up to pick you up. Maybe he forgot about you" Joker pretended to be sad
"My daddy would never forget about me Uncle Joker. He's just late." Evangeline defends her father, pouting upset with his comment
Batman looks at Robin and Nightwing, signing to them to follow the plan
They knocked up the goons from the shadows
"Joker, Batman is here!" One of the goons told him
"I know, its part of the game. Hahahaha Hey, Evangeline, lets play hide and seek? " Joker asked and the girl agrees excitedly
"So, we both have to hide from the bat, and we win if he doesn't find us" Joker explains to the little girl
"And what if he find us?" She tilts her head, pouting in doubt
"We will make him a surprise" Joker told her excitedly, and grabbed the girl running from the shed
Nightwing and Robin were fighting with the goons
While Batman fight with other goons
"Go catch him, Batman. We can handle them" Nightwing shouts out
Batman runs in the same direction the Joker ran
"We found mom, B. They keep her trapped in Bludhaven Cemetery. They have just a few goons, but they are all high armed" Tim reported
"Don't die" Batman warns them in a harsh tone
"I'm the only one who got the permission to do that, old man" Jason jokes with irony
"This is not funny, Jason" Dick scolded him
"Actually it was" Damian chuckles, evilly
Batman silenced the bug
Batman was surrounded by sheds
Hearing the sounds of one of the sheds, he walked quietly towards it
An image projector was in the middle of the room
A video started to play
"Hey lady, How about you say goodbye to your family?" One tattooed man told you, holding your face
"Fuck you!" You spat at his face, trying to gel off his hold
"You bitch! I will teach you how to behave" He punched you hard in stomach
The record has a cut
You shows up beaten and all bloody on the screen
"Bruce, please save our daughter. Do not come after me. Take care of the kids and go easy on them. Do it for me... do it for us. Please be safe. I love you" You said goodbye for him
"No!" He cant stand the pain in his heart seeing you hurt like that
Batman got caught in a trap
a fishnet made of barbed wire trap him
"It seems like the bat is not that smart" Jokers voice echos through the loudspekears
"Lets take a look at your woman"
Your unconscious form appears on the screen. You were tied in a chair by ropes
"Hey batman! Are you seeing this beautiful woman here? She will explode in minutes, I hope you enjoy watching it" The tattooed goon said with a big grin on his face
A thud echoes in the background. Some gunshots
"What do you want Joker? Free her!" Batman growled at the clown
"What do I want, Bat? I want to play with you! You know, Ive been feeling lonely since you trapped me in Arkham Asylum again. I think it would be cool to gain some money and play a little with you! Isn't it funny?"
You were in the chapel of the Bludhaven Cemetery
"Shit! Red Hood and Red Robin are here, boss!" The tattooed goon shouts out to the camera
More shoots, and the door is cracked on the floor.
"What a terrific news!! It seems that the birds have come to join Mommy in her explosion!" Jokers laughed excitedly
The vigilantes appear on the screens, running towards you, unaware of the bomb or the camera
"Fuck! what they did to you, mom?" Jason whispered, cutting the ropes in your fists and ankles
"You know how Jason is my favorite Robin, don't you Bat?? He is going to die again because of you! Just because you sent him to search her! And poor Timmy! Hes just a teen that will blow up with his mother and brother HAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAH"
Jason held you tightly in his lap
"Everything will be okay mom"
Tim walked around the place they kept you arrested, and observed the chapel
"Jason are you hearing that?" Tim asked, looking in the direction of the beeps
"Until they found that I put a bomb there. Everything will blow up. BOOM!!!!" The joker laghed mischievous
"RUN" Jason shouts out
The bomb exploded
"NOOOOOO" Batman screamed
"AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"
"The joke is on you BAT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH"
"TICK TACK TICK TACK. Time is passing, you don't want to lose Evangeline too, right? Tick tack tick tack"
Batman heard sound of steps in the shed
"OH forget Bat! You did find us or we found you, whatever. HAHAHAHAHA" Joker entered in shed with a gun against Evangelines forehead
"Did you know how upset I was with you when I discovered about your girls? You didn't even bother to introduce them to me" Joker pretend to be hurt
Evangeline cries, hurting Bruce in his soul. All he wanted to do was protect her, but he couldn't
"Please let her go! I will give you whatever you want!" Batman pleaded in defeat
"HMM, What a interesting offer but I will pass Bat" He denies, smiling creepy
"I just want you to watch my grand finale" Joker would shoot in Evangeline head
Joker was about to pull the trigger when a blade was thrown into his hands making him drop the gun, and a stick hit hard in his spine
Joker screamed louder, falling on the floor
Robin walks close to the clown and holds him by his purple blouse collar
"Don't mess with my ummi, my sister or my family ever again, or I will kill you with my own hands" Robin kicked hard his spine
"HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAH YOU'RE SO CUTE ROBIN HAHAAHAHAH" Joker laughed hard and louder with every beat
Robin was infuriated. Didn't he get hurt?
"That's enough Robin!" Batmans voice scolds him
Robin looked around, seeing Nightwing comforting his baby sister while Batman stood in the corner with crossed arms, watching Robin beat the Joker
With a final strike, Robin knocks the Joker out
------------------------------------------------------------
"When will mommy wake up?"
You open your eyes but shut them in pain. It felt like a truck had run over you
You moan in pain, trying to feel comfortable where you laid
You open your eyes slowly, trying to adjust with to the light
"Hey, she's waking up!" Jason warned everyone
Everyone shut up and come closer, looking at your dizzy form
"MOMMY!" Evangeline runs to you, hugging you tightly and you breathe deeply in pain
You felt relief to see everyone safe. You hold your daughter in your arms, making a grimace for your sons
"Go easy with her, Ginnie, shes bruised" Dick told her, chuckling at your grimace
The kids were all around you
Your daughter let go of you, leaving space for the other kids to talk with you
"I got really worried about you. I'm happy that you're awake mom" Dick smiles at you warmly, hugging you gently
You opened your mouth to answer, but your throat was dry. You only cough in answer.
Then Tim offers you a glass of water. You drank it
"Thank you Timmy. I was really thristy"
"Its good to see you mom" Tim hugs you quickly
"You scared me as hell, i love you mom" Jason whispered just for you to hear, and hugged you like you were going to disappear any moment
He hold you for a long time until Damian pushed him aside
"I missed you Ummi" Damian squeezed your hand lightly, and you pulled him into your arms
"Its good to see my boys and my girl safe" You smiled caring at them
Alfred walked up to where the kids were
"Its good to see you Miss (Y/N)" Alfred greets you, smiling fondly
You look around, seeing watchful eyes over you. Was he there all the time?
"How you're feeling?" Alfred asked you, checking the serum that was in your veins
"It sucks, it seems that I was hit by an car" You joke humored
Alfred nodded in knowledge
"My whole body is aching, I have a headache, and I'm very hungry" Your stomach is snoring
"I suspected that you were going to say that. I going to bring you something to eat" Alfred heads out of the cave with the kids following behind him
"It seems the anesthesia effects were gone." Bruce deep voice caught your attention
"Anesthesia?" Confused, you question him
Everyone had gone, giving you two some privacy
"You were shot. You lost a mount of blood. When the boys found you, you were unconscious. We had to take the bullet out. You almost had a hemorrhage" He explained
"How long I have been out?" You ask, staring down at your body
You were dressing just in a black top and a yellow Batman loose short
You had some bruises, and some parts of your skin were purple. Your ribs were bandaged. You had stitches on your right arm
Bruce was looking for something in the nursery cabinets
"One week and three days" He states, turning around, looking in the other cabinets
"Oh, your birthday is in two days" You murmur, staring at his back
You could see how his back tensed when you said it. He got quiet for a while, and focus himself on what he was doing
"Yes, Alfred is planning the gala for the weekend. I don't have time to do that" He scratched his throat, walking towards you
"Here take it" He hands you some analgesics and a glass of water
He sits beside you on the bed. You could tell that he was lacking sleep and his beard was to do. He had some scratches on his face
"You lack sleep, when was the last time you slept?" You ask worried about his well being
You raise your hands, fingering his scratches
"You don't need to worry about me, the only one who needs care is you" He says softly, holding your hand in his
------------------------------------------------------------
You stared at the mirror for a long time. The gala for Bruce's birthday was happening down in the salon
You were wearing a beautiful yellow gown that Bruce had gifted you on your last birthday. You never had the chance to use
You felt uncomfortable with your stitches showing up. Your body was bruised. You couldn't help but feel ugly, even all dressed up
So you decide to stay in the room where you were staying for the week
For a few minutes in the room, you got restless and walked to the library
You loved the manor library. It was a cozy place where you always loved to stay. The big window had a beautiful view of the gardens. You remember staying here with Bruce when you wanted some time alone. You loved the yellow candlelight and the beautiful decoration, it was so classic.
You sit next to the window, looking out at the garden, where some guests were chatting
"I imagined that you'd be here" Bruce entered the library without making a sound
"I don't get scared anymore. I'm used to it" You roll your eyes, annoyed that he doesn't make any walking sounds to enter the places, you raise your eyebrows at him in doubt
Bruce was wearing a beautiful tailored tux. His beautiful blue eyes contrast with the black tux but match his navy tie
"You didn't show up. I come to check up on you" He states, looking at the view of the big window
"I'm sorry for not being there. I don't feel good enough to be around people" You felt guilty for not showing up
"Are you feeling unwell? Do you need anything? What are you feeling? Bruce asks in a hurry, getting closer to you
You stand up, raising a hand for him to calm him
Then Bruce stops, looking at you head to toe, amazed by the view of your beauty. His jaw fell open, and he whispered something you could not hear and licked his lips, straightening his posture
"Wow, you're marvelous tonight" He notes the yellow dress he gave you
"Hm thanks" You doubt he was being truthful. You didn't feel marvelous
You stared at your hands.
"What? You don't believe me?" Bruce asks in shock, realizing your deny his compliment
"Yeah, how could you think that I'm marvelous tonight if I look like this?" You point to your bruised body, looking at your stitches in the right arm
"I don't see nothing but the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in front of me" Bruce states firmly, looking into your eyes
"How?" You whisper, denying
"I can show you if you don't believe me" Bruce steps forward
Bruce gently holds you by the waist and run his fingers through the bruises, kissing them softly. His touch makes you shiver
He looked right into your eyes, asking for permission to kiss you
You lean closer, kissing lightly his lips, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment
The kiss was passionate. How you miss his lips. How you miss the good years. How you miss him
He holds you tightly in his arms
You slowly separate and breathe deep. Widening your eyes in realization. What have you done?
You step back brutally
"Damn it! What we did? We shouldn't do this" You said rude, cursing yourself for letting that happen
You were walking in circles in anxiety
"What? If you regret about it..." You cut him off quickly with a sharp look
"How can you do this? You are engaged and then kiss me, messing with my feelings" The hurt in your voice makes him want to hold you in his arms
"Easy (Y/N). I'm not engaged with any woman" He claimed with a firm tone
"Wait? You're not engaged? But the news said you bought a engagement diamond ring, you didn't propose to Selina?" You tilt your head, doubting if he said the truth
You groaned in pain. You have put too much effort into walking around, the pain fills your ribs and you breathe deep
"Be careful. You cannot make an effort or the stitches in your ribs will open" He warned you, coming closer, guiding you to sit on the leather couch
You stay quiet, staring at the window. The silence was uncomfortable but you didn't want to say anything to him
He was the one who needed to say something
"Hmm... look. I did buy an engagement diamond ring but it is not for Selina. I bought it for someone I cherish and love dearly" He states gently, holding your hands, making you stop to stare at the window
You blink slowly and stay quiet, waiting for him to continue
"I know that I was a dick to you. How I mess the things up with you.... When you left, I felt the regret consume me every day for not fighting for us. I wanted to ask you to stay, but I couldn't. I couldn't be so selfish, I knew you would be happier and safer without me. You would be better off without me. Although I realized that I was nothing without you, just a poor and miserable man" He said in a deep, low tone. It was something so intimate for him to share about his feelings
You look into his eyes, seeing his regretful gaze. His husky deep voice hold honesty over his words
"I was so scared of losing you and not having the chance to apologize for my mistakes. I miss the good years, of our partnership, you were my best friend. I was afraid I could not tell you everything that I wanted. All I wanted to do was hold you in my arms and protect you"
You stay quiet, not finding the words to say something
"I know how I hurt you, and I understand if you don't accept it. But I feel like i had to do it before its too late for us. I still love you (Y/N)" Bruce eyes had a brightness that you had never seen before
Bruce got on his knees in front of you, taking a little velvet red box out of his tux pocket
You were taken back by his confession. Your heart races with his words
"(Y/N) Will you marry me?" The red velvet box had a beautiful diamond ring
You stare at him in shock, speechless. He was proposing to you. You couldn't believe that.
He stares at you, uncertain of your answer, but the big crooked smile you gave him makes him feel more confident
"Oh my! Yes!, I do marry you Bruce" He felt relief with that
Placing the ring on your finger, Bruce kisses your hand tenderly
"I was afraid you would say no" He admitted, getting up and pulling you up gently
"The thought didn't pass my mind, but now i considering it" You pretend to think about
Bruce face went blank with your joke, but then he relaxed seeing you laughing of him
"Don't joke about that. I want to get old with you" He fake a scolds making a frown
"Well you already are old so don't worry" You snap with a teasing grin on your face
"Wow, that hurted my feelings" He put his hand on his heart, faking a heart pain and pouting
You peck his pouting lips and hold your arms around his neck while he holds you by the waist
"I love you too, Bruce" You confess, burying your face in his neck
"I swear to be better for you" You feel his hands tracing circles on your back
"You just need to fight for us when the things get rough. Don't let me go ever again, and stay with me" You embrace him tightly
"I promise" He whisper
"I'll kick you in the ass if you don't keep your promise" He laughed, caressing your hair locks
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"DAMN Damian! You let Joker stuck in a wheelchair forever" You curse under your breath
Damian was ready for the scold but you only smiled at him, messing his hair
"Well done Dami, I'm so proud of you" You whispered so only he could hear and winked at him
"Dick gave me a little help hitting the stick on his spine" He smiled slightly, feeling proud about his achievement. Now that maniac would not be able to hurt anyone
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anathemaloren · 1 year ago
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can you make a fic where jake peralta is a girl dad?? he would be such a good girl dad too 😭😭 learning to do different hairstyles just for her, playing with her dolls, etc.
his daughter would totally be a mini amy though
Learning takes time
Jake Peralta x f!reader - fluff with a hint of angst
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★ Summary: Jake Peralta becomes a girl dad, and he has to learn something new every step of the way.
★ Word count: 3.8k (I always think I write WAY more than I do)
★ Proofread: no :)
★ Warnings: cutie patooties being cuie patooties? and english is not my first language and the timeline is weird at some point
★ Note: Anon this is so good I'm LIVING for jake peralta as a girl's dad! And I know you said Amy but I didn't realized that until like halfway writing this but I hope is not too bad anyways. Also some parts are based on my boyfriend's little brother and my baby cousin so shot out to them.
★ In The Beggining ★
When Jake became a dad he couldn't believe his eyes. The beautiful baby he held in his hands was HIS, she had a part of him in her. Like, DNA or somethign. And she was adorable. She definitely took a lot from her mother, who was now resting after 49 hours of delivery. Y/n has said the moment she held her that she was definitely going to take after him, fighting like she had been for staying near Y/n for a bit more. Jake knew she was joking but who was he kidding, his wife was so right. But now the baby was here. The baby. The small, little, minuscule person he had been waiting for for the last 8 months, since they foud out Y/n was pregnant after she refused to eat popcorn because they had been upsetting her stomach lately. It was Jake who had figures out what happened, realizing his wife would never turn down popcorn and that she hadn't had her period that month. And them BOOM! She's pregnant, 8 months go by in a flash and now he is holding her. Wow. He snuggled a little bit closer to her although he knew it was becoming impossible to be nearer, but it felt like heaven. A piece of heaven at least. She definitely was an angel. His girl. His girls, because Y/n was starting to be awake and spoke with a rough voice of screaming so much the past 2 days.
'Hello love' Jake said with a blinding smile on his face. 'Hi, handsome' she said smiling, tired but happy. Jake got close to the bed and sat on it, handing the little bundle of love to Y/n. She looked at the baby with the same affection and adoration as Jake, but then she seemed to remember something and looked at him, looking a little bit stressed. 'Jake' she called him, gaining his attention and making him stop looking at the baby. 'Yep?' he asked tentatively, worried about the look on his wife's face. 'We haven't chosen a name for her yet!' she exclaimed whispering at the same time, and Jake seemed to realized that too. 'Oh, shoot!' he said while she just nodded along 'We really have to!' he continued. 'You don't say!' Y/n retorted. They both looked down at the small person in Y/n's arms. 'How could we forget something so important?' she asked. 'I have no clue. Who even forgets putting a name to their daughter?' he moaned.
To be fair, they had been looking for a name since the day they foud out they were having a daughter, but nothing had shined as the perfect name. 'Maybe now that we see her face we can think of something' he proposed, and Y/n just looked at him sourly 'What? What did I say?' he asked then. 'Jake darling the problem isn't not having ideas, is having a good one and actually agreeing in one for once!' she said, half scolding him for the names he had suggested the past few months. 'The names I said weren't that bad' he defended himself. 'Should I remind you that you wanted to name our daughter Johanna after McClain?' she told him 'It's brilliant!' Jake exclaimed. 'Jake we are not going to name our daughter after a guy doing thingies in a building on Christmas!' she exclaimed back. 'Hey, take that back! I never said anything when you suggested Beth because of Little Women!' he retorted. 'Maybe because that's a sensible name' she argumented, finishing off the conversation saying 'Maybe now that we can see her we can think of a name' she said, and they both turned to look at the sleeping baby.
'She's cute' he said. 'Of course she's cute, she's ours' she turned to look at him smiling, and a lightbulb seemed to appear above Jake's head. 'That's it! he said, happily. 'What's it?' Y/n asked, confused about her husband's behaviour. 'Adelaide' he stated. A few seconds of silence were followed by a 'what??' coming out of Y/n's mouth. 'Think about it, I'm a genius!' Jake continued, starting to pace around the room like he was solving a vital case 'We've always talked about wanting to go to Adelaide, and it was where went for our honeymoon. Plus, is not too long because we can call her Addie but it would still sound good in a professional setting when she grows up! It's perfect!' he sentenced. Y/n pondered the information about a few seconds that felt like hours for Jake, who wanted his wife agreement on that. 'Okay, you ARE a genius' Y/n said after the everlasting silence. Jake bounced a bit before going back to the hospital bed, where he looked at his baby and at his wife, who was focused on her baby with a satisfied look on her face. 'Adelaide' he said, looking at the little girl fondly. 'Addie... damn it does sound good' Y/n said, also trying out the name. And after a moment of tranquility, peace and quiet, Y/n looked at Jake again and talked again 'you do know we still need a second name right?' All Jake coul do was groan a bit while Y/n laughed at the defeated attitude of her husband. There were going to be some difficult years for Jake.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
★ First times ★
Life as a father had challenged Jake in ways he couldn't imagine. Changing diapers had probably traumatized him forever, and he learnt that bathing a baby was not too far from just bathing himself, especially when Addie started becoming more aware of her surroundings and she started splashing everywhere and Y/n and Jake were wet from head to toe after giving her a bath. But the worst for Jake hadn't been the diapers or the first times eating new foods where Addie decided to just throw food absolutely everywhere, no - the worst were the first steps.
Jake knew he was supossed to be excited about his daughter's first steps. And the first ones were no problem - she stumbled a bit and fell about a million times and then cried for about 20 minutes before settling down, but that wasn't out of the usual and him and Y/n were over the moon - the problem came when she dominated the art of walking, and then the practice of running.
Every time they let her out of the trolley in the park, Jake had sore knees from chasing her around. She would just run and run until she tripped or slipped and then she ended up on the floor. And there were times in which she just stood up and Jake had to chase her again. But there were others in which she would truly hurt herself, and then Jake became the most soft man known. He would go sprinting to her, checking everywhere for blood because she knew she got nervous when she saw it, and then taking her and cuddling her for some time, telling her she would be ok and that daddy was with her. Y/n had told him a million times that he was spoiling her a little bit, and that she Addie had to learn to get up by herself and not cry every time she fell because then she would always do that and she had to learn to not go to dad every time something happened to her because she knows that he would give her everything he wanted if she cried a bit. Oh, what a cruel mother! Trying to give her child a small amount of reality and helping her grow up not spoiled! How dared she! Jake actually agreed with her, and he really, REALLY tried to not go to her everytime she fell, but to no avail. In each time she stumbled upon the groud, Jake would be by her side in less than 5 seconds. He couldn't bear to see her cry like that! And yes, maybe Y/n was the most sensible one for not running everytime and assessing the situation first because she honestly knew that falling in grass didn't hurt much, but he couldn't help himself. His dad had never been there for him, but now it was his turn to be there for his daughter when she fell. Even if it meant being scolded by his wife later on. At least he knew he was Addie's favourite for those things, and that she would always go to daddy when she got hurt.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
★ Not-so-professional professional stylist ★
Addie liked her dad for some things, but she would always go to her mom for others. Like getting her hair done. Jake had tried to learn how to do Y/n's hair a few times during their relationship, but given he had failed the times he had tried, he decided to let the hair department to Y/n. Actually, scratch that. He had done it because, you know, he was a nice husband and father and wanted her wife and daughter to hame some quality ttime together. Yeah, that sounds quite nicer.
But some days, Y/n left earlier, and if she didn't have time to do Addie's hair, Jake had to do it. Those days, Addie's hairstyles where much simpler than the ones that Y/n did, and the girl never complained. But Jake knew she was a bit sadder when she didn't have her mom to do her hair with the braids and other thingies Y/n did to her and that she liked so much. And, being the amazing dad he wanted to be, Jake decided that he was going to learn how to do those things for her.
He started learnign when Addie was on kindergarten, practising on Y/n's hair, who was equally excited about the idea and taught him how to do the hairstyles she did to Addie while letting him do them on her hair. Jake learnt the ones that Addie liked the most, and the practised every night. When his daughter was in elementary school, he was pretty good at them. So, one of the days that Y/n had left earlier, Jake decided to try one of them on Addie.
'Hey, princess?' he called her while she was brushing her teeth. She was so grown up that he foud it hard to believe he had held her in her arms on her first ever day on earth. Cool, cool cool cool. 'Yes?' she answered, rinsing her teeth. 'Can I try a new hairdo on you today?' he asked, while Addie turned around to see him. 'Why?' she asked, trying to figure out if her dad was about to turn her hair blue. 'Well, because your mom has taught me a few and I want to try one out' he explained, hoping she would trust him. 'Okay' the girl decided after a few minutes of thinking it through. He was about to hug her when she spoke again 'BUT if you turn my hair any funky colour I'm telling mom' she said. Jake smiled fondly while hugging her, relizing how much she spoke liker her mom. 'Please don't, she would ground me' he joked, letting Addie go. 'Yeah, she better, I can't go around with pink hair or something, Aunt Ames would have a heart attack' she said while sitting on the chair Y/n used to do her hair. Jake laughed a bit. She definitely also have part of his personality on her.
After 20 minutes of carfeully doing his daughter's hair, Jake stepped back to look at it. It looked exactly like the aroud 2000 times he had tried it on Y/n's hair. But the judge wasn't him; it was Addie. 'You can go look now if you want' Jake told her, nervous. Nervous. He was nervous about the opinion of a 9 year old. When had he become like that. Addie walked slowly to the mirror with her eyes close, and then opened one of them, tensed about what she could find. But then she opened both of them when realization starting hitting her. 'Do you like it?' he asked her, smiling a bit. 'Dad, it's like the ones mom does on me!' she giggled, turning a bit o look at it from behind. She then hugged her dad tightly, overjoyed 'Thanks for learning how to do this, dad' she spoke softly. Okay, definitely worth it.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
★ Playtime ★
There were many things that Jake wasn't precisely a fan of as a girl dad. But there were some other that he strangely liked, and one of them was playing with her daughter and her dolls.
The dolls were impeccable for aroud 2 months, but then Addie started playing right with them, as Jake said, and the dolls would end up painted, half-bald and with interchanged clothes. Y/n tried to convince her daughter to take more care of the dolls, but to no avail. And Jake couldn't care less about the state of the dolls. What amazed him was the stories her daughter would make up with them. No soap opera could compete with the dramatic storylines of Addie.
One of the times when Jake arrived from a case happy, he sat to play with her, being ready to try to assimilate the far-fetched stories her kid made up. And oh, my, it was probably the best story he had ever heard. And mini Shakespeare was aroud 5 at the time. Jake had the best daughter ever.
'Hi Ads' he greeted her. Addie looked up to see her dad sitting with her. 'Daddy!' she exclaimed, having been so engrossed on the dolls that she hadn't realized her dad was with her. She hugged him and the sat on his laps, between his crossed legs, like she did with everyone in that position. 'So, tell me, what are you playing to?' he asked, interested in what could the story be this time. 'Do you want me to tell you the story?' she asked excitedly, with eyes shining with emotion. 'Of course!' Jake answered, and she got up from his lap to show him the characters of her story. 'This' she said, taking a blonde Barbie on her hand 'is Lady. This' she took a red haired Barbie 'is Rosa' she said. 'Like Aunt Rosa?' Jake asked. 'Exactly!' Addie said, even though Jake knew she named her toys after everyone she knew because she could never remebmer more names. 'And this is Carlos' she showed Jake a dark haired Ken. 'Carlos?' he asked, pretty sure they didn't know a Carlos. 'Mom told me the name, it's a driver or something and mom says my Ken looks like him' she shrugged her shoulders and Jake focused on the doll until he realized his wife had put Carlos to the doll after Carlos Sainz. Goddamit, that guy was everywhere if Y/n was aroud. 'Is there any more characters in the story?' Jake asked, knowing his daughter always forgot one or two. 'Oh, yeah!' she said, taking another Ken 'This is Paolo, he's Carlos brother'. 'Paolo?' he asked. 'From Friends. dad!' maybe they shouldn't let her watch so much TV, she was learning things. 'Come on, tell me the story' Jake invited her. And so the story began.
Apparently Lady and Rosa had been friends for like, forever, but then Lady met Carlos. And Rosa was like, totally ok with it, but actually, SHE WAS NOT OKAY WITH IT (shock) because she had liked Carlos for way longer, like 2 months or so. So Rosa planned on stealing Carlos from Lady, but on like a bar or something where she was with Lady and Carlos she met Paolo and they were like totally in love and they kissed! (oh my god they kissed!) So the four of them were happy together and they even moved together, but one day Rosa came late from work and foud Lady, Carlos and Paolo having a sleepover without her! Can you believe it? (how dare they) So obviously she was like super sad so she left, and Paolo left the country because he was like SO in love with Rosa and didn't want to be with anynone else so he left to Italy and became the Pope. (Can you just become the Pope?) And then Rosa killed Lady and Carlos for having a sleepover and not telling her and she also left to go live in Mexico because she liked the beach. The end.
Jake was doumbfounded. That had took a dark twist. But Addie had a big smile on her face like she had told him that she had had pizza for dinner, so her dad just patted her in the head a bit scared, and got up from the floor to go to talk to his wife. 'Did Addie tell you what her dolls are up to lately?' he asked Y/n, who was on the couch reading Vogue. 'She told you the Lady-Rosa-Carlos-Paolo thing?' she asked, not even looking up at him. Jake dropped on the couch, still shocked. 'And you are like, ok with it?' he asked. She dropped the magazine to a side and look at him. 'Of course not, I have already told her something' Her husband sighed. 'Oh, good, what did you tell her?' he asked, wanting to be on the same page about what to tell her. 'That Carlos would NEVER have a sleepover with someone behind other people's back!' she said, like what her daughter had done had been the most offensive thing ever. Jake looked at her and then they both started laughing, with Addie looking confused at them from the other side of the living room. Jake should most definitely tell his coworkers not to talk about cases around her anymore, she was starting to pick things up.
★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆
★ The end of an era ★
'I just can't believe you're going to high school next week!' Jake exclaimed, watching his daughter get ready to leave. 'Dad, you gotta assume I'm 14 and I'm starting to leave the nest, you should talk to someone about this' she said, with the quick humour she had learnt in the last years. 'Your mom is a therapist, I have already talked to her about this and she says that this is a total normal reaction to a child advancing on school level' he retorted. 'Mom is also facing the change, maybe you should talk to someon ELSE' she got back at him, putting her hair in a braid that now she knew how to do alone. 'Yeah, but your mom is completely objective and would never lie to me' he said again. 'Dad' she said, turning away from the mirror to look at him 'mom also tells you that she doesn't hate Die Hard, maybe you should reconsider if what she tells you is always the truth' she clapped back. Damn she was good. 'Okay' he admitted his defeat. 'But I'm still kinda sad about you going to high school'. Addie sighed, and made her way out of the bathroom, taking her dad by the wrist and taking him to the couch, where she sat him and she went to sat on the armchair that was nearer to the couch.
'So, tell me, why is it that you are so scared about me going to high school?' she asked him, reclining back on the armchair. Jake looked at her with a surprised expression 'Are you therapizing me or something?' he asked. 'Yep' her daughter confirmed, gesturing him with the hand to start talking. Jake sighed, knowing that her daughter was smart and if he didn't tell her what what on his mind, she would eventually figure it out... ot she would ask her mom to ask him. 'I...' he started, not knowing where to begin 'I'm scared to see you leave. I know high school is not such a big deal and your'e not going to college yet or anything, but it's the last step. We don't do much things together anymore, and I'm realizing I can't stop time or make it go slower, and I definitely can't go back to do your hair or play with your dolls or running after you when you started to walk. And maybe we grow more distant the years you have left here, and the you'll leave for Standford, which is quite far away from here, and you'll move to the West Coast for a job and then we'll only see you on Christmas and you'll only call your mom and we'll never be you and me anymore, you know?' he told her. It was weird having to tell his own daughter all those things, but he knew it was for the best. When he stopped looking to the floor, he realized Addie had glossy eyes. He inmediately went to her and hugged her tightly. Some things never change.
When they let go of each other, the girl was the first one in talking 'Dad, I didn't know you felt like I never do things with you' she said. Jake smiled softly and wiped the tears from his daughter's face. 'I never told you, Ads' he said. She composed herself again and spoke 'Let's have a movie night every week' she proposed 'we choose a movie each week and we watch it, the both of us. It can be our thing!' she said, excitedly. Jake nodded. 'Of course, princess' he agreed, hugging her again. 'I love you, dad' he heard through the hug. 'I love you too, Ads' he answered her. She was still part of him.
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marcyvamp1re-blog · 2 months ago
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ugh I love your content, yandere marvel just gets met going like for real.
Okay so I would want to request platonic yandere hank maccoy x reader, this man is so under rated and I love him so much
SAVIOR COMPLEX
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pairings ⸺ Yandere! Hank Maccoy x Fem!reader
¿Request? Yes!
This is a Headcanon!
warnings ⸺ mdni! Dark themes, violence/death, blood, insolation, Fluff, invasion of privacy, scars, delusion, Angst, ¿OOC Hank? Idk, fights, Disturbing Content, Unhealthy Obsession, Gaslight, Mental Illness, Corruption, Isolation, Paranoia, Manipulation.
sinopsis ⸺Hank McCoy, the charismatic and brilliant mutant known for his intelligence and imposing appearance, hides a dark and possessive side that emerges after falling in love. His devotion to his beloved is unwavering, leading him to obsess over her well-being and safety. While his love seems genuine and protective, his need for control becomes evident in every decision he makes: restricting her freedom, driving away anyone who might threaten their relationship, and marking her with traces that demonstrate his dominance. Every smile you give him is a reminder of his fervent desire to keep you by his side, but behind his sweet facade lies a palpable fear of losing you that consumes him and transforms him into an unyielding lover.
A/N ── English is not my first language—Spanish — Well, it took me a while to upload this, but not out of laziness or anything concerning; I just went on vacation for a week to explore a bit, and since I was going to many places, I couldn't write due to exhaustion. But here is the request. Once again, I apologize for the delay.
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Yandere Hank McCoy who... remembers the first moment he saw you as if it were yesterday. You arrived at the mansion, trembling and wrapped in a thin white blanket that barely covered your battered body. Outside, it was raining, and the drops tapped against the windows in the silence. Your sobs mingled with the echo of thunder. Your eyes, swollen from crying, searched for some trace of comfort in that strange and gloomy place. He felt a pang in his chest but kept a prudent distance. He knew that his appearance could be intimidating. But one of the mutants who had brought you asked him to take care of you while he went to find help.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... sat down next to you with a mix of shyness and concern. He watched you in silence, searching for the right words to comfort you. However, every time he tried to say something, your only response was sobs. Until, unexpectedly, you cuddled against his chest. He felt your body tremble against his, and his heart began to race. In that instant, he decided he would do everything in his power to protect you. No one would hurt you again.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... grew fond of you as he helped you in your recovery. He spent nights in the lab, mixing ointments and designing specific treatments for your wounds. Every time he placed the bandage on your skin, he noticed how his fingers trembled slightly, feeling a mix of tenderness and a fervent desire to be your only protector. The night you tearfully told him about your kidnapping and the trials that had turned you into a mutant, his heart hardened. A dark spark was born within him. "No one should go through that," he whispered, taking your hand. No one would touch you without his permission.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... enjoyed showing you every corner of the garden. "This place is our little refuge," he said, and you noticed how his eyes grew increasingly intense when he fixed them on you. He showed you the most hidden nooks, the secret places only he knew. "Here, we are alone," he murmured softly, while you only thought it was a kind gesture. For him, however, it was a statement: his promise that no one else would know you like he did.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... organized private dinners with you every night, a perfect excuse to have you all to himself. He lit the table with candles, and his smile seemed kind and warm. "It's perfect, isn't it?" he would ask as he served you. His eyes locked onto you every time you laughed, and in those moments, a dark satisfaction washed over him. No one else could make you smile like that. No one else could make you feel safe like he did.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... became your confidant. He never let a night pass without inviting you to talk, encouraging you to share your fears and dreams. "I will always be here for you," he whispered, and you simply nodded, grateful for his company. But every time you mentioned someone else, whether in a trivial story or in simple conversation, you noticed how his gaze darkened slightly. Sometimes, you couldn't help but feel an overprotective presence in his words, but you always attributed those thoughts to your imagination.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... felt a burn in his chest the day he saw you talking to another mutant, laughing, as if you could trust someone other than him. He approached and forced a smile. "Who is he?" he asked, keeping a casual tone, but feeling his insides boil with jealousy. When you told him he was "just a friend," he couldn't help but tense up. No one was "just a friend" to you.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... decided he had to act. He couldn't risk losing you. So, when that "friend" of yours got involved in an unfortunate accident during a training session, no one suspected Hank. He watched as they took him to the medical wing, with a dark sense of triumph pulsing in his chest. Now no one would come between you.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... always found an excuse to be near you. Every time you entered the lab, he was there, offering you help or even preparing new "experimental" treatments that ensured he saw you often. "I don't want you to feel lonely," he said, and in his voice, you could perceive something between sweetness and a strange pressure that you couldn't quite define.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... finally, one night under the stars, mustered the courage to confess his feelings to you. "You are everything to me," he whispered in an almost reverent tone, taking your hand and squeezing it. "No one else can take that place. No one else would understand the love I feel for you." His eyes, shining under the moonlight, looked at you with an intensity that seemed to possess you.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... gradually moved you into his room, first arguing that it would be easier for him to supervise your recovery. "So you can rest and not have to wander the halls at night," he explained softly, holding your hand with a mix of affection and a barely perceptible pressure. At first, he placed an extra bed next to his, assuring you it was just temporary. But night after night, he began to inch closer, until it became a routine to share his bed. You slept together as if you were a married couple already, and although you never spoke of it directly, Hank acted as if it were the most natural thing in the world. In the mornings, he would wrap his protective arm around you, holding you close while whispering, "You know? Here, in my arms, I feel like nothing could harm you." It was in those moments of silent intimacy that Hank allowed himself to imagine a future where you were his wife, his companion forever, someone whom the other X-Men would recognize as his.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... adored seeing how the other X-Men began to treat you with the same respect and deference they had for him, but now with a nuance indicating that you were someone special to Hank. He noticed the respectful glances from his teammates when you appeared by his side, and that filled his heart with a dark and possessive pride. You are mine, he thought, feeling a strange satisfaction in seeing how others accepted you in that role without questioning it. With every gesture, every smile, every knowing glance from the others, Hank felt that his dream of marrying you was ever closer to becoming a reality.
Yandere Hank McCoy who...ensured that you were comfortable and protected in his bed every time you cried from nightmares. Some nights, you would wake trembling, reliving the traumas of the past or the dangerous missions you had experienced. He would hold you tightly, cradling you against his chest, his claws gently stroking your back in an attempt to calm you. "I'm here, love. No one will hurt you," he would whisper in a hoarse voice, allowing the weight of his own body and presence to soothe your fears. In those moments, his thoughts intertwined with an intense concern and a need to protect you from everyone, even from life itself outside those walls.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... felt a deep desire to be with you in every way, but at the same time feared his own mutation. He knew that within him existed a bestial ferocity that he always tried to control. He didn't want that side of him to scare you or hurt you in a moment of intimacy. So, as much as he longed to consummate his love for you, he held back, caught between his yearning and the fear of losing control. Every night, his thoughts revolved around this internal struggle, and he often woke up in a cold sweat, desperately wishing he could love you without reservations.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... suffered deeply the day you returned injured from a Sentinel attack. It wasn't your first mission, but when he saw you stagger through the door of the mansion, supported by Ororo and covered in wounds, something within him broke. He rushed to you, his gaze tinged with desperation, holding you tightly as he took you to the infirmary. His voice trembled as he said, "You shouldn't have gone out, I shouldn't have let you go... Oh God, what would have happened if you hadn't come back?" For days, he stayed by your side, caring for each of your wounds, tormented by the idea of losing you. That experience convinced him that you would never be in danger again as long as he could prevent it.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... forbade you from going on missions after that incident. "I don't want you to suffer again," he told you, with an intensity that made it clear there was no room for negotiation. In his mind, this was the only way to protect you. He offered you an alternative, one he considered much safer and more satisfying: to become a teacher for the young mutants. Teaching them basic skills, stories of famous mutants, and values, always within the safety of the mansion. "This way you can use your abilities without risking yourself," he explained, making sure the idea seemed an act of care and not control.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... began to fantasize about the idea of having a family with you. Watching you interact with the children, hearing you laugh and care for them with such tenderness awakened a deep desire in him, a vision of a future where you and he shared something more. His relentless and obsessive mind began to draw images of children who would inherit both your sweetness and his intellect. He didn't want a large family, but a small one he could call his. In his vision, you would always be under his care, in the safety of the home he would build for you. Thus, night after night, Hank dedicated himself to his dreams and the obsession of protecting you, as his love grew darker and more possessive. Every time he held you while sleeping, his barely audible whisper sealed his intentions: "Nothing and no one will separate us, love. This is our destiny."
Yandere Hank McCoy who... finally gathered the courage to propose to you one special night. He had organized a dinner where several young X-Men, like Jubilee, Kitty, and Bobby, were present to celebrate with you. Everything had to be perfect, or at least that was his hope. But, as was customary among the young, the evening was somewhat chaotic. There were laughs, jokes, and some accidents with the food, details that could have irritated him on any other occasion. However, that night he was so focused on you, on your laughter and your smile, that nothing else mattered. At the end of dinner, with trembling hands and a gaze filled with an almost unsettling devotion, Hank knelt before you. He still remembered the pressure in his chest as, with a voice laden with emotion, he said, "Will you marry me?" Time seemed to stand still as everyone present watched, holding their breath. When you whispered a tearful "yes," Hank felt as if the entire universe was finally in harmony. He wrapped you in his arms, and that night he felt that his life finally made sense: you were his forever.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... couldn't wait another moment and soon begged Nightcrawler to marry them, eager to formalize what he considered the most sacred bond of his life. “Kurt... please, make it official,” Hank implored, his voice trembling but resolute. Kurt, holding a special license to officiate, observed the intensity in Hank's gaze. Although he had certain reservations, he agreed, touched by Hank's insistence and the depth of his feelings—or what appeared to be love— The ceremony was simple, with their mutant friends and colleagues gathered around. As you exchanged vows, Hank looked at you as if you were the light he had been seeking all his life. When the final "yes" escaped your lips, his heart surged with a potent blend of euphoria and obsession. At last, he knew, no one else could claim you, no one could approach you without his permission. You were his in both body and soul, bound to him for eternity, and he would do anything necessary to keep it that way.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... after the wedding, let his possessive and dark side flourish without restrictions. He no longer tried to hide it; every time someone approached you, he would step in with a cold glare and a low growl in his throat. At first, he only intervened subtly, but over time, he began to visibly push everyone away from you, ensuring that no other man or woman dared to even look at you with interest. The confidence with which he distanced you from any conversation or group began to unsettle you, and when you tried to discuss it with him, he would only hold you tightly, whispering reassuring words but filled with an unbreakable authority: "You are mine... I don't need to share you with anyone."
Yandere Hank McCoy who... every night, when you were with him in intimacy, let that wild side he worked so hard to hide from the rest of the world out. His need to possess you became physical, and he didn't hide the pleasure of seeing you marked with his imprints: light bruises and scratches that he saw as proof that you were his and no one else's. In those moments, his voice turned deep and dominant, his words a mix of promises and warnings: "Never forget that you belong to me, and you are mine." Although you said yes to calm him, in your mind doubts and a silent fear accumulated, fearing that this side of him would grow more than you could bear. It no longer mattered that he took you in his beastly body; he knew you loved him, so he made love to you fiercely while your nails scratched his blue back.
Yandere Hank McCoy who... began to control every aspect of your life, limiting your outings and ensuring that if you had to interact with anyone else, it was under conditions he could supervise. He only allowed you to go out on special occasions and under his watchful eye. He came to fantasize about the idea of taking you to a secluded place, away from everyone, where you could live together, where he could make love to you without fear of you crying out in pleasure, away from prying eyes. Often, he spent sleepless nights considering the possibility, imagining a life where you only existed for him, where no one else could come between his love.
In his moments of deepest obsession, he would hold you tightly while whispering, "One day, my love, we will have everything we've always desired. You will be only mine, and together, nothing and no one will be able to separate us."
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A/N ─── I made it very short, but I wanted to try new things. I’m not sure if you like it when I add a bit of light NSFW to the headcanons; if so, please let me know in the comments. I’m trying to experiment a bit with different styles and themes, so your opinion would be very valuable to me.
Hank needs love ♡ I really like his personality and appearance; he's my guilty pleasure u.u Sometimes I feel a little bad about how much I admire him, but at the end of the day, we all have our secrets, right? His mix of intelligence, loyalty, and that dark side that occasionally peeks through fascinates me. I'm excited to explore more of him in my writing. Don’t forget to leave your comments because I want to know what you think and what you would like to read more of in the future.
Thank you for your constant support; it means the world to me. Love you all!
Feel free to ask me anything if you want. Just go to my profile and message me; I always read your ideas and requests.
Take a Bath!
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curtsycream · 9 months ago
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My Heart Lingers in Italy
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In which James Potter visits Italy for a school trip just to meet two girls that change him forever.
This is pretty short but it is only my first installment of this series if you want to call it that. It will be part of my summer project for my writing. So updates may be a bit slow but quality over quantity right? Anyway I hope you enjoy, it wasn’t beta read this time I wanted to get it out before I rewrite it completely or just scrap the idea. Also when they trade IDs it was supposed to be for Line and such like that but couldn’t find a face social media maker for that one, so yeah also English is not my first language so if my grammar or spelling is off I apologize in advance.
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“Lily, where are we going?”
The two girls held hands as they weaved through a crowd of tourists. The streets of Verona normally weren’t so packed but it was tourist season. Smiling Lily tugs Y/N forward as the two girls walk, “Remember you said you’d go to Piazza San Zeno with me. I explicitly remember telling you last week when you were busy talking with Sienna.”
Y/N smiled broadly, “don’t tell me you were jealous again. You know you never have anything to worry about, she just wanted to know if I would be applying to universities outside of Italy. I told her I’m going wherever you go,” she whispered.
Ducking her head down Lily tried to use her hair to hide her reddened cheeks. “You’re so annoying sometimes, come on!”
The two girls, one smirking and the other blushing made their way to the open flea market. It was packed with locals and foreigners alike. Y/N waved to any and everyone she knew running different stalls. When Lily stopped walking she bumped into the shorter girl’s back.
“What’s the hold-up, Donnina?” Y/N glanced up to notice a group of teenagers. All about the same age as the two of them. But what stuck out the most was a group of boys playing around near a booth. Their playful nature was animated and rather funny.
Grinning she wrapped an arm around Lily’s shoulder, “oh I see it’s those tourists. They’re rather cute I’ll admit,” she commented.
“What do you think about that one?” Lily asked pointing at a bespectacled boy with dark hair.
Squinting Y/N finds herself analyzing the boy from his charming behaviors to his handsome looks. “Attractive,” it was simple but for someone like Y/N, it meant a lot.
Lily and Y/N knew each other inside and out better than most people did. So a simple compliment from Y/N meant she wanted to get to know him too.
“Should we talk to him?”
“What about that thing we rushed here for?”
“Aldo will be here next Sunday with the book I want to look at, should we talk to him?”
The urgency in her voice was clear, it hinted at her fear of passing up on what could be a once-in-a-lifetime deal. Nodding her head Y/N nods her head in his direction, “Let’s go.”
Pulling Lily along she smiled softly when standing in front of the boy. Up close he was much more handsome than she gave him credit for.
James was listening to Remus explain the difference between the two books in his hands to Sirius. He knew Sirius only did this to rile him up. Looking away from his friends he noticed two girls walking towards him. One was short and flushed and the other tall and grinning.
He would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel something. They were opposites of each other yet they looked so good together. Like that of sunshine and rain where together they equal out to rainbows. A balance is what they represent one that he wanted to be a part of. It was a strange feeling but it felt meant to be.
“Ciao,” he said without thinking.
The tall girl smiled with a laugh, “Ciao.” While the shorter one looked away before looking back at him with a smile, “Ciao.”
“I, I didn’t really pass Italian just enough to end up on this trip,” he explained. He felt as if he had to as if he owned them something.
“No it’s fine, we know English. Your accent British?” The tall one asked with just as much interest as a puppy. Her accent is thick as she speaks fluently and confidently.
“Yes, I guess the accent was very obvious,” he joked.
“That among other things,” the words from the shorter girl made him grin. Her voice was lithe sneaking up on his ears with agility. While the taller girl’s voice felt like velvet wrapping around his eyes blinding him with mystery. Both were opposite but equal in the effects they were having on his senses.
“Oh, what are these other things?” He asked leaning forward enough to smell figs and jasmine on her. A floral and fruity scent that made him lean back some.
“If I told you so easily it wouldn’t be as fun,” she told him.
“She’s always like this if you’re wondering, you’ll have to pry her secrets from her cold little hands to know.” The glint of amusement in the taller girl’s eyes was evident. Just like the smell of mint and lemon when she stepped closer to whisper that to him. The crisp and citrus scent was exhilarating like a cool breeze sweeping over him.
“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time we meet,” he tells her.
The confidence in his tone was enough to cause Y/N to look away. Lily found herself squinting at him, “who said we would meet again?”
“I can’t say for sure but I hope so,” he says. “You’re both really interesting.”
“We’ve said less than five sentences each,” she tells him. All he did was shrug a look of certainty on his face. His expression revealed it all as if he knew they would.
“Then let’s trade IDs?” He asked them.
“How do you even know we have the app?”
“I don’t, but I’d like to hope you do, red.”
Laying in her bed whilst looking up at her ceiling Lily sighs. Sitting up she glanced over at whom she deemed her other half. The other girl was sculpting something with clay her headphones probably blaring some loud music.
Each time Lily tried to sleep her mind would wander to the bespectacled boy they met. His charisma was refreshing in a way she had not expected. Though she denied it on the trip back home she did enjoy his company.
His words so easily teased and left her cheeks red. She couldn’t understand how he so easily did so. Before she could think longer about the British boy she felt arms snake around her waist. A head resting on her chest, “What are you thinking so hard about, Donnina?”
Weaving her fingers through the taller girl’s hair the ginger sighs. A look of contemplation on her freckled face. “That guy…the British boy. He’s not easy to forget,” she uttered.
Mulling over Lily’s words she agreed, “I get that..he’s very charismatic in a way. But under all that, there is this heart tug where you can’t help but enjoy his company.”
“Exactly!” Lily exclaimed as she brushed hair out of the other girl’s face. Her finger trailed down her forehead and along the bridge of her nose. “I wonder if that’s normal…to feel that way about someone you just met.”
Humming softly Y/N’s fingers ghost over Lily’s sides before resting on her hips. “Maybe it’s a British thing? To be so charming and have people eager to see them again.”
“I thought that was the French?”
“It’s all relative, or how do people say Greek to me.”
Lily snorted shaking her head, “I think this is why you shouldn’t skip out on your literature classes.”
“Why would I stop when I have such a beautiful tutor to teach me when I don’t show up for classes?”
“You’re such a flirt.”
“You wouldn’t have me any other way, donnina.”
Verona was beautiful at night, James remembered Remus telling him it was the city of Romeo and Juliet. A lovely Italian city where lovers can go and enjoy the sights around them.
Lover or not he had to admit that the city was more than he expected. The town with its medieval architecture and the meandering Adige river. It was hard for him to stop looking out of his window as the moon reflected perfectly upon it.
He could hear Sirius and Remus’ hushed tones within the room. The two had spent the day with James although James made it clear he was okay alone. He didn’t want to ruin the time his friends could have in such a romantic place together.
But he was grateful, sighing he glanced down his eyes finally leaving the river. People were still walking about outside conversing. he expected the nightlife to not be as active. From the morning and afternoon being busy with bustling marketplaces, piazzas, shops, and gardens. But from the way people were chattering and laughing it seemed there was more to the city.
For some reason he found himself watching a duo of two women. One tall and the other short both of them laughing and clinging to each other in their drunken state. He wondered if they did similar activities, or rather he wondered what they were doing now.
A small ding left his phone, his hand dived into his trousers pocket to retrieve it. A message from Y/N appeared on his phone, eagerly he opened it.
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Typos are on purpose because they are messaging in English. To better clarify when it’s just Lily and Y/N speaking together it will be in Italian. I’ll better indicate that in the next installment, but Y/N is terrible at English but she tries. I’m such a sucker for this trio already.
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bsydelver · 5 months ago
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Can u do a Fluff story of Tamaki amajiki crushing on a goth/alternative reader
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Part 1 depending on how well this actually does.
———>part 2
@wolvwa helped with this because I can’t write fluff for the life of me.
Note: YESSS, I have never wrote fluff; I only have written aus/general story. THIS IS REALLY EXCITING SO HERE WE GO— THIS WILL BE A CHAPTER OF TAMAKI JUST ADMIRING THE READER.
warnings: English isn’t my first language, writer has never written fluff 🙏, Reader has piercings, Nejire wingman (not really, she just tries to help Tamaki get out of his bubble when it comes to talking to you)
Summary: just read because this is left on a cliffhanger.
SEMI-PROLOGUE
You have been friends with the big three for how long now? All you could remember from the start of your friendship that, surprisingly, Tamaki was the one who even got you into their group in the first place- you were closer to Nejire at first for the most part though due to your shared interests and her fascination with your quirk and unique appearance. People could tell you were ‘different’ in terms of appearance, music taste and lots of other things but in your opinion: you never felt out of place with the group and they always find a way to include you into anything.
Whilst you were in your train of thoughts, you got cut off by Nejire calling for you, with Tamaki as her company, a smile came across your face and you noticed Tamaki doing a half smile as well, “It’s a day off today, do you wanna hang out at my dorm? Mirio said he’d be coming later,” Nejire’s personality could never make you decline her requests but with Tamaki accompanying her: there wasn’t a universe where you’d be refusing to hang out with them. Nejire didn’t let a second pass by after you had agreed and she practically pulled you to her dorm.
Silence filled the room as Nejire scrambled through her stuff looking for anything that could entertain you guys. You couldn’t help but notice the indigo haired-boy staring at you from the corner of your age, you couldn’t say you weren’t enjoying it but you thought that maybe he wanted to talk so you turned your head out of the blue which made Tamaki look down visibly flustered. The sound of a person rummaging through years worth of stuff stopped as Nejire approached you, “I couldn’t really find anything,” that was a strange occurance if you were being fully honest: Nejire always had something for you guys to do, wether it was repetitive or random, there was always something; you thought maybe Nejire just needed an excuse to do something but as you examined her face in an attempt to predict what she was trying to do, you noticed her and the Indigo-colored pair of eyes exchanging stairs that contrasted in expressions but still hinted towards something which you just shrugged off.
Nejire started to slowly get closer to you which wasn’t new, she always did that when she was about to analyse someone’s whole face so you didn’t back away, “Me and Tamaki always thought your piercings were really cool,” hearing Nejire say that made you flattered and you looked to Tamaki to confirm only to see his face buried in his hands which made you slightly smirk, “Did this one hurt?” Nejire pointed at the spider bites piercing you had, “well it d-” before you could answer you were interrupted by another one of her questions, “In fact, did all of them hurt?”
“Well it depends on your pain tolerance and the loca-” you were once again interrupted but this time not by Nejire but by a curious Tamaki, “How did you know which one you would look good with?..” Tamaki wasn’t holding eye contact with you as he asked, he was actually looking down at the floor more than anything, you couldn’t tell what the question exactly implied as it could’ve been many things but you didn’t want to make the environment awkward, “I would try filters or have my friends’ insights on them!” Tamaki looked amazed and it was a cute sight if you were being honest, his eyes had a shine in them that glowed when he opened them more and this moment was one of the times he was opening his eyes more, “Wait you have friends as cool as you?!” Nejire said in a tone filled with excitement, “You think I’m cool?” you raised your eyebrows and you weren’t asking this as a normal question, it was more friendly-teasing; “Actually, it isn’t only me— Tamaki was just tell-” Nejire’s quote-on-quote exposé was fortunately, for Tamaki , cut off by the creak of the door opening, “MIRIO!”
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chiefcroissantdeanbanana · 29 days ago
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[SPOILERS] A Date with Death Bad Ending 1 - A "What if" Scenario
I really really liked Every Single Bad End ADWD gave us, but I was super heartbroken to see that we barely got Casper's reaction in Bad Ending 1 (Untrustworthy), so I decided to write more to it... yes I am starved and yes I cook my own food but also because I need more pain in my bad endings (and because I suddenly got an idea and wanted to hurt more people drex and aya I am targeting you please read this /hj /j) I mean what who said that?? + The people who would've listened to my brainrot are busy right now so. womp womp for me boohoo :((
Bad ending 1 (Untrustworthy) spoilers.
DISCLAIMER!! bad writing. yep. and spoilers but mainly bad writing. and bad english too... also, I do not claim this as canon or real to the game, it's just me making silly stories :3
-> What if after MC dies, Casper comes to their apartment immediately but found that MC had already been possessed by a demon? He kills it, hesitating for a bit because it's his sunshine's body. But he knows it's what you would've wanted, to not let a demon tarnish your name, so he kills "you". And then, for the first time in his Grim Reaper life, he feels regret. Regret? How? He shouldn't feel like this- Especially not for a human he was supposed to kill! And he did it, didn't he? He won! So... So why does he feel so... empty? His vision is turning blurry, he feels something warm on his cheeks, are these tears? Is he crying? Oh nine hells, he's about to choke on his own sobs. Why is he feeling like this? Is he sick? Did the soul sickness finally taint his soul, for better or for worse? Who knows!
He'd be like Bad Ending 2 Casper too, depressed, lonely, and no one to ever truly connect to. And he regrets it so so so so much. The multiple "What if's" in his head drives him crazy every single night. "If only I was friendlier..." "If only I was more trustworthy..." "If only I didn't push to make that stupid bridge...!" haunts him, he can barely even open his laptop, because looking at it reminds him of the broken trust you placed on him.
Sometimes though... he feels something, something that doesn't truly feel like 'him'. It's strange, he feels like you're still here somehow, even though you aren't. Like... a part of you was on him. Protecting him, shouldering his burdens, and that wrecks him more than anything could ever do. Why him? Why would you do this? HE'S the reason YOU'RE dead, so... So why are you trying so hard to let him live on? Is this karma? Do you want him to forever remember his mistake? His loss? He would gladly do it too, as repayment, as justice, for fairness (and that he also feels guilty, immense guilt, it's confusing, conflicting emotions swallow him up whole) He's supposed to feel happy for your death, right? It's what he's been doing for years, trying to kill you over and over again, failing time and time until his patience grew thin. But now? He wished you could've avoided death once more, just a couple of minutes more, to be with you for a second longer... He'd give up anything for that.
(+ the section above is the ending for that, an aimless Grim Reaper searching for the light that saved him, but I also had another ending in mind, I just didn't know where to put it so I'll add it as an extra!!
-> His regret and grief couldn't be contained, it was too hard for him to keep it covered, and he got caught. He got caught having feelings, having MORTAL feelings. Something a grim reaper, especially someone of his rank, should never have. He knew it was soon, he knew from the start what he was doing was illegal. He accepted it long ago, but now, he finally had a reason to be terminated. Maybe grim reapers also had an afterlife too? If they did, he wishes it could be the same as them. Would their afterlife be as soft as them? As warm as them? As perfect, and wonderful as them? No, actually. He wants THEM. He wants YOU. Not just your afterlife- but your whole being, he hopes he could see you, waiting for him, along with azrael and your pet. "Ah, my home..." he thinks blissfully, as his whole being gets erased, and not a single trace of him remains.)
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crumblinggothicarchitecture · 8 months ago
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Hi, I absolutely love the way you breakdown tswift songs, and I just wanted to clarify something, that's been bothering me. In 7 she mentions this part "we'll move to India forever" at first I was just like yeah, but the more I listened to it, the more I was like what kind of fucking colonist/white mindset is that? You'll never tour to India but you want to move here?? LIKE??? NO!!!! Don't!!! We've had enough of you white people exploiting us without ever actually ever caring for our country.
Feel free to vent about whatever Taylor Swift lyric you hate. I literally love it. :)
Because you're right, I always saw the line "we'll move to India forever" in the most charitable light. I remember thinking to myself, when I first heard it, that maybe she just loves India.
It made sense to me- because during the pandemic I fell into reading a BUNCH about India's culture, religion, food, anything. (My interest was mostly a result of linguistic interest into how India has shaped the English Language over time). Despite English only being present in the region due to colonialism, India has had a remarkable impact on shaping the Language itself! I emphasize post-colonial theory in my real job- and while I don't write much on India's relation to English Linguistics, I enjoy reading on the subject. So that's why I find it so interesting- because it really speaks to human ingenuity and perseverance. You know? The linguistic diversity present in India alone is so cool- and I really could talk about it forever.
So, I heard the line, and my first thought was like "yeah, okay maybe she just loves India?"
I think I was being too kind with that initial response.
But dude- she's never even toured in India? Like she just refused to go? She's never once talked about India in a positive light at all. So then why would she write that line? Like she will go to any random country in Europe, go to any random state in the USA, and go to couple of select places in Latin America, but it seems like she outright ignores Southern parts of Asia? Except Singapore- because they gave her a boatload of money, I guess. So, why write that line? Why write all of "Karma" is she has no genuine interest or respect for the people from which that philosophy comes?
In combination with her obvious pro-colonialist imagery in her other work, like the "Wildest Dreams" music video, the line in "Bejeweled" about reclaiming the land, and the latest line in "But Daddy I Love Him" about how she wants to win the West, I now believe her line about moving to India to be pure Orientalism.
Plus, the whole issue with the "Karma" song in which she is denigrating the philosophical concept of Karma and making it seem like nothing more than a shallow idiomatic ideal on revenge.
I think she's just an idiot who wants to mention "India" like it's some fantastical realm far away from "reality" (Eg), to her, the USA, as if India is not a real place with a real history and real culture. This is what I mean when I say she offers India no respect or appreciation- you can't liken a place to a mystical realm removed from reality without removing it from its history, culture, and people.
If the whole line is "Pack your dolls in a sweater/ We'll move to India forever/ Passed down like Folksongs" ("Seven" 2020).
She is intuitively linking the concept of moving to India with that of a childhood fantasy- with the word "dolls"- one childhood fantasy which will be ultimately unfulfilled. Thus, I support the argument that her line about moving to India is only in reference to the fact that it's like an unreal fantasy- worlds away from reality.
In literary theory, we call this process of subjective reality removal, and fetishization of the East as a fantasy realm, Orientalism. Orientalism is the act of creating a fantasy of the East, in this case India, that is often full of stereotypes or predicated solely on the myopic lens of western perspective.
Naturally, this facet of literature was mainly popular during the height of British Colonialism in India- in the 19th century. So why is Taylor Swift negotiating Orientalist attitudes in a song in the year of 2020? WHY! Uh- (because she's a fucking Racist with no respect for anyone who's not White and from USA). I've been blind- I fear.
It's such a rude oversimplification of such a diverse and interesting place- and all of her many nods towards Colonialism are so disgusting - I'm actually pissed off about it.
Anyway- That was my long-winded way of completely agreeing with you. You're right it's a shitty colonialist attitude and she should not be getting away with it.
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mrooops · 6 months ago
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well, finally, the solemn occasion for which we have gathered here. let's discuss why i personally think that roger waters is 101% bisexual.
perhaps, let's start in order. teenage hormones associated with sexual desire begin to appear during school. i like to let you imagine situations, so imagine yourself back in the shoes of a boy in the 50s. his mother intimidated him with her strong character; adults around him believe that even mentioning sex is the height of indecency. nobody talks about this at all. there are no girls, the school you study at is strictly for boys and, accordingly, your first conversations about any sexual contact are only with boys. this closed male space becomes the motif for Empty Spaces, where waters reveals his fear of women. he was afraid of them because he was afraid of any intimacy with them, he was afraid to even imagine it, as i said earlier, women for him are like wild predators wanting to tear him apart. guys will be a more familiar experience, less scary, oh, and you all know what often happened in english boys' schools, yes (i'm not talking about anything mega sexy, it's just about exploring your sexuality). in his situation, i can’t say for sure, but i’m more inclined to believe that at school he had nothing but shameful curiosity. all the same, he was terribly pressed and everyone humiliated him. it’s unlikely that he would have even done something like that then.
let's move on. in general, let's talk about another very important psychological aspect, which left him with food for thought for many more years. Syd. imagine roger, who is ashamed of any intimate action, who is dependent on other people's opinions, is insanely tense and always attacks someone with aggression if they say something that seems offensive to him, and imagine syd, who is not afraid to expirience, he is not afraid of sex, he is not afraid to talk about sex, he does not need to listen to the people around him to know who he is and what he wants from his life. he's incredibly free. roger admires this freedom. i think he was openly surprised at this side of barrett more than once. even now, he talks insanely often about how much he and syd talked about things that he didn’t understand then.
and in fact, yes, syd greatly influenced his life. syd never needed roger to pretend to him like waters did with his other friends. syd never needed roger to be right about everything or for everything to work out for him. syd just loved being around him and knowing that roger was listening to him and that syd had something to share with him. he loved that sometimes roger is very emotional or very sensitive and he never judged him for that. i think their sheer revelation to each other is what made roger obsess over him. he could have chosen anyone to talk about all his life and write songs about, even his girlfriend or wife, but he chose syd because he treated roger equally, honestly and openly.
you might think it was some weird jump from talking about sex to talking about feelings, but it's roger's sexuality that we're talking about. and his sexuality certainly includes sex AND feelings.
i'll also clarify that i don't want to say that they had any kind of sexual contact, but i believe that at least once he really thought that maybe if it was syd of all, he wouldn't be against. roger is very sensual and emotional and he is very confused about his sexual feelings, he was one hundred percent just as confused about syd. the “i'm a homosexual” moment didn’t make the situation any better either.
and what roger described in Incarceration of a flower child is an incredibly intimate moment. he remembers it. this is what he wants to remember when he thinks about syd. when it was just the two of them, lying on pillows and discussing baby names. and the way he grabs onto this moment, afraid to let it go - this is also very significant. i mean, he deeply loved him, kinda romantically, kinda friendly. there are many examples of songs that can prove this if you think a little, but i won't do that here, it's already a long post.
when syd left, this whole long process of his “leaving” made roger angry. i can only compare this to when a wife’s husband dies and she begins to ask herself “why did he do this to me? why did he leave me?” (i have an example of real people with whom this situation happened). roger also likes to direct everything towards himself, of course it was syd who left him, not pink floyd. syd made them famous, they were being pressured to write a new album, and syd just decided that he was leaving. and roger didn’t need excuses for why this happened, he saw it as if he was simply left to deal with all the problems. and so he feels sad, because he feels sad he gets angry and you get the idea. but the anger passes. and he understands that he misses him and syd was very, very important to him. and then the realization comes that it was he who was selfish in this situation.
and when syd leaves he becomes who he was again. he is unsure of himself, he is waiting for approval, he cannot improve his sex life (in some way) because there is simply something missing in it.
he is kinda bisexual.
he will never admit it because he doesn't think it's anyone's business. he doesn't admit it because he's still closed and he still can't agree with himself. after all, even if he had thoughts and even fantasies, he was always ashamed of them because for society it was shameful then. and he was dependent on it.
you can agree or disagree, i am not claiming to be his sex psychologist, i am simply writing this as my own thoughts and conclusions.
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cazzyf1 · 2 months ago
Text
Wolfgang von Trips teenage opinion on WW2
When I read over his diaries a few months ago one entry that stuck out to me was one where he went to see a war film in the cinema and then wrote down his feelings on what had happened in the war, his feelings about Germany, and his feelings about the army. I found it interesting because I had never read a German's perspective on it before and it was a unique read. So when rereading his diary I decided when I came to this entry I'd write it up and publish it for anyone else curious about what his teenage opinions were.
Reminder that this was written when Wolfgang von Trips was in prime teenage angst and still struggled to understand and cope with the effects of growing up in the war and almost dying a few times. As he got older he was determined to try and restore Germany's good reputation, especially with cars and was good friends with very patriotic Brits.
(Translated from German to English via a translator)
October 14, 1947, Tuesday
I haven't been OK for days. I had a very bad cold, it's better now, but I still have a lot of pressure above my left eye. I'm worried about inflammation in my sinus. I want to do some serious inhalation. Maybe it will clear up after all.
I was just at the cinema. English film, typically English. They showed the victory celebration. It makes you feel awfully different when you see how our defeat is celebrated. How we fought and yet we were ruined. The film and everything else took me back to a time a few years ago when we were (at least from my point of view) a people who stuck together, were honest and fought, when as a boy I was enthusiastic about everything and proud when our planes came, saw nothing bad in anything. During the war I didn't see anything bad about the war itself either. (Today I have a different opinion.) But I was still capable of enthusiasm and when one day, after a long time spent at the school camp, I saw German tanks and planes in the newsreel for the first time, I cried with excitement or pride. It was an indefinable feeling. And now it's all over. Forever. Never, never again will we carry weapons, soldiers.
Everything is bad, mean and vile, what was previously an ideal and a model. Never again will I be able to freely and truly choose. I know today, and I fully understand, that one can what used to be my highest ideal was actually not quite right. But I still mourn all of it because it will never come back and there is no replacement for it. And when I compare my thoughts from back then with those of today, ideals, goals, plans, I can't describe it like that.
I still remember exactly how, during the Jabo era, I once thought to myself: I can still picture the moment - what do you do when no more bombs are falling, no more Jabos are coming, and no more anti-aircraft guns are firing?
I thought that I must be missing something that was almost vital to my life, so it had all become my world. Today I realise that this is really something that can be rejected with normal common sense, not wrongly influenced by time, and knows it too. But the fact that I have directed all my childish and youthful - certainly not small - enthusiasm towards something that is now over forever makes me very sad. How well could something else have taken its place? something of lasting value, art, music, or for that matter, something technical. Then I wouldn't feel like I'm in such a topsy-turvy world today. I see it in other boys. For them, it doesn't mean as much as it does for me. They just didn't rely on it like I did and it was just a side issue, annoying side effect for them. Unfortunately, I'm a bit stuck now, I keep looking from one thing to the other, I just can't settle down anywhere. The contradictions in which I live and those around me are too great. I don't really know where I belong, I'm also missing the right friend, I'm missing Rudolf von Marsewsky.
It's all rubbish, damn it! The time is over, all the ideals destroyed, but if I'm honest with myself, my pure reason tells me that everything was just right, war, violence and power and so on.
I see it very differently today, but deep down I say it was beautiful and powerful and definitely better than this filth today. It's a shame that I can't really express my thoughts so that I can record them for later. Because I'm sure I'll change somehow and it'll be interesting to see what it would be like now if I still had something like that from the war or before. But I have it a little different in my head than I can express it here.
Sometimes, like now, I remember the past. Then the whole time comes back to me and I start to compare and a train of thought arises like this one. (Usually it is a conversation, a film or something else that triggers it.) And when I think about freedom, about my real life as a boy, with shooting, riding, hunting, also Hitler Youth service and military training in the mountains, our conversations and thoughts at the time and the feeling I had when I thought about the Air Force and my future, and now I think about the fact that this kind of feeling of happiness can never arise in me again because there simply can't be any reason for it anymore, then I could cry.
I haven't been aware of all this for a long time. Simply because I haven't thought about it that much. Writing it all down is partly a mental aid. It helps me get deeper into something than if I just think about it.
I was just counting the pages and had to laugh at myself. I could spend hours pondering about some of the things that usually bother me. But I want to stop for today, maybe tomorrow or soon if I get into a strange mood again (it's just the film's fault).
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osarina · 6 months ago
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Hellooo,
So, it's not really a request, just kinda? Idk, i just want to share this little idea with you and you can do with this anything you want!!
So reader and adazai are dating for a while rn and they are happy and all and dazai decides that he wants to propose reader. He has the ring and all planned out. But before he could, reader is sent to a mission and dazai be like: "okay, i'm gonna wait til she is back."
The only problem is that she isn't back in a good shape :') Something went wrong on the mission, there were stronger ppl than reader and the ada obviously didn't know abt it (let's just say that ranpo didn't know abt it too for the plot, okay? :')) and they all freak out and everything. Reader is sent to a hospital (yes, yosano's ability doesn't work on her. No i don't know why and how. It's just ✨plot amour✨)
But anyway, reader gets better and wakes up from her coma. But! She lost her memory. So when she finally wakes up and dazai is holding her hand while half asleep and the others are here too and when they notice that she is awake she just be like: "Huh??? Who are you all??"
And dazai of course heartbroken. The love of his live, his reason to live, his soon-to-be fincée doesn't remember him?? That's the end of the world. But ofc he doesn't show it that his world crumbled over, instead he tries to win over reader's heart again. And it's all fluffy through reader's recovery. Ooooo and i have this very very very cute scene in front of me.
Imagine: Dazai and reader are sitting on a rooftop, it's after some time when reader finally remembers her name, age, family, job etc (expect dazai, we love angst :p) so the basic things and there's a moment when she says that: "My mind may not remember you, but my heart could never forget."
And it's just shows that how domestic are they really that even if tragedies try to force them away from each other, their heart, their soul will always find the way back bc you only find true love once. And the right person (or people) will always came to you (i'm delulu.)
But let's not forget abt dazai and his self-blaming tendencies. My man here would be so crushed that he couldn't save his beloved. So maybe, at first, he wouldn't try to make remember their relationship. After all, if the only person he loved romentically forgets about him then that must be fate, no? A reminder that he doesn't qualified to be called human, so ofc he shouldn't enjoy such a human things as love. That he should cherish the time that you two spent together but should never reach out for you. After all, he might get his dirt on your freshly started new life. And he also wasn't sure that you would even want him with all his mistakes, inperfections and that ugly, broken soul of him.
So i think reader has to make some moves first too. Just from instinct. Bc loving him is like a second nature to her. But aftet reader defeats dazai's self-sabotaging attempts, the cutesy recovery would start <33
OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Someone should check this out bc my love for him is starting to get a little unhealthy 💀
Anywayyyy i wish you the loveliest, most beautiful day ever bc you deserve it. And again, feel free to ignore this rant, no pressure <333 i'm just so down bad for him, ughhh. I want to squeeze him so bad <33
Also, if it's not a big problem, can i be 🍄 anon? If it's taken then 🎶 anon?
Much, much love!!!
(Pls ignore the spelling and grammar mistakes, i'm running on 4 hours of sleep each day this week and english is my 2nd language)
AHHHHHHHH NONNIE UR SO IN MY BRAIN I'VE BEEN DYING TO WRITE AN AMNESIA FIC FOR DAZAI. the way i was going about it, i was thinking maybe we could do an ability user that targets reader and their ability causes reader to completely lose memory of the most important person in their life ... except this was going to be set pre-relationship but they were both sooooo clearly in love with each other but neither wanted to make the first move. so reader would come into work like usual and nothing seems wrong until she sees dazai and she's like ??? who are you and dazai is just CRUSHED and the whole fic is set around him trying to hunt down this ability user to make reader's memories come back but it's like they've vanished off the face of earth. eventually he comes back to the office when he gives up because he literally CAN'T find this ability user and then we follow reader re-falling in love w dazai and dazai self sabotaging because he's dazai
I WISH YOU THE MOST LOVELY BEAUTIFUL DAY EVER NONNIE I ADORE YOU
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bubblesxo · 9 months ago
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i dont know if you will see this but i am a big fan of your g!bruce meets the batfam!!!! I literally have tumblr just for this series (and now that I’ve tried it im beginning to love it ngl) . Annyywaayy ive just read the new chapter and it’s so good!?? Like i am really excited for the next chapter!!!
Oh and I haven’t watched gotham ( im planning too ) but i sometimes mix the twins????? Like your explanations are good dont get me wrong but yk when your reading and you need to check which ones which? Yeah … and like i want to fix that idk how .do i just like memorize the twins personalitys??
also in this au is theres 2 jokers??????? I saw you once mention Jerome(?) being revived or something
ps .im that great at English sorry .
oh wow wow wow thank you so so much!! i'm really glad that you're enjoying my story so much! it really means a lot to me. <33 i think your english is good! but if you need/want me to clarify anything i say here, just let me know and i'll try to rephrase it for you!
okay, so in the Gotham tv show (this has spoilers for all 5 seasons, so read on if you're okay with that) the way that they approached writing the joker was actually really up in the air in the beginning. this is because they didn't have the rights to use the name "joker," and so fox (the company that made the show) planned on making a bunch of smaller characters in the show as a kind of easter egg as people who could be the joker or who resemble him in some way.
this changed when cameron monaghan (the actor for both jerome and jeremiah) guest starred in s1e16 "the blind fortune teller." in it, the character of jerome is introduced as a 17/18 year old boy who travels with the circus with his mother, who is a snake dancer. he is meant to be one of the aforementioned joker-like characters in the show and wasn't actually supposed to be included again after that episode, if i am not mistaken.
however, the viewers LOVED his performance and jerome came back in season two as a member of the maniax, a group of arkham inmates who were broken out of the asylum. i won't go too into detail about the actual plot, but in seasons two, three, and four, jerome shows up in at least a few different episodes with very memorable storylines each time.
it isn't until season four of the show that jeremiah is even revealed at all! jeremiah and jerome are identical twin brothers, however, jeremiah has been in hiding for years under the fake name "xander wilde" in an attempt to escape jerome, who wants to get revenge on him for lying to their mother about what he (jerome) did when they were children. basically, jeremiah lied to their mother (lila, who jerome is revealed to have killed in 1x16) that jerome tried to kill him, causing jeremiah to be sent away and be adopted by rich people and get to go to a well-funded private school where he could live out his best life as a child prodigy (which was jeremiah's end goal to this), whereas jerome was left behind in the circus that they lived at (haly's circus, the same one that dick grayson later was raised in before being adopted by bruce). during this time, jerome was horrifically abused by his mother, his uncle, and his mother's many romantic partners. this eventually caused him to crack, which creates the character we see in the show.
here's an easy way to remember the difference in their personalities:
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in the standard american deck of cards, there are two jokers: one that is black and white and one that is in color. in this analogy, jeremiah is the black and white joker and jerome is the one in color.
this is jerome:
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he's got a *very* boisterous personality. he's outgoing and charismatic and, of course, severely messed up in the head. he *enjoys* the pain he causes people and does it with little to no reservations. he thinks things through less thoroughly than jeremiah but jerome always has a plan and is actually quite smart. i couldn't do him the disservice of calling him the dumb twin, despite some points about jeremiah that i'll get back to later.
anyway, jerome has a grand plan for all of gotham: he believes that, fundamentally, everyone in the world is like him and is also at least a bit crazy inside. he wants everyone to tap into their inner selves and let themselves run free / go crazy. he successfully ensnares huge hoards of gothamites with his persuasive way of speaking and interesting flare to his words. he amasses a large cult following, all of whom are very similar to him in the sense that they all demonstrate similar signs of instability.
here's some more gifs of him.
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jerome kind of invented the iconic "HAHAHA" signature joker laugh in the gotham universe, even though he isn't the one who goes on to become "mr. j" (gotham's version of the joker) in the end (that's jeremiah, though i have a lot to say about that).
jerome's always smiling, a genuinely creepy smile that throws people off at first but can be really scary once you know what you're looking at. he single handedly turns gotham into a madhouse on multiple occasions and is the one who basically spread the "crazy" to the general population (for short: genpop).
he's a classic cult leader in the sense that he can mesmerize a whole room with his magnetic presence but also will ruthlessly cut down any of his followers if they so much as upset him (or even if they're just being annoying or could have a greater purpose, like when he stabbed a follower in the gut to take their blood to draw a frowney-face on bruce).
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that reminds me, another important thing to know about jerome is that he has an iconic stapled-on face! this is because he died once (in season two, though he came back to life for season three onwards) and one of his followers tried to revive him using some insider medical knowledge from doctor hugo strange (who is just... a whole thing. ew.). he thinks that he failed at doing this and steals jerome's face so that he can wear it on television in an attempt to control jerome's followers (spoiler: this doesn't work).
however, it turns out that jerome *was* revived from this, and he's pretty upset that some dude stole his face! so he uses a staple gun to re-attach it after he gets it back (and kills the guy who did it). his face is later punched off by jim gordon but reattached more properly during his time at arkham afterward (the carnival scene happened in season 3 and jerome came back with a kind-of healed face in season 4).
here's some gifs with jerome's messed up face!
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jerome is the colorful joker because he's very much expressive. he lets out every single emotion he feels---unless he's trying to deceive someone, at which point he is a phenomenal liar. (in season 1 when we are first introduced to him, he almost successfully gets away with the murder of his own mother.)
jerome is funny and laughs a lot and is *loud.* he's also absolutely insane and incredibly cruel, as well as impulsive, but he's able to curb his instincts if he feels like he can pull off a big plan.
jerome is a showman by nature. he's a product of the circus and it *shows.* everything he does is like an act, something that is acknowledged by many people in the show.
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he's a funky lil dude. totally crazy, but kind of adorable at times.
he's also SEVERELY traumatized from his horrible past and has huge trust issues.
so, yeah. jerome is colors! remember that.
unfortunately, pookie died in season 4 and doesn't seem to have been revived this time </3
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now, onto his twin brother jeremiah!
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jeremiah is, at least at first, presented to be the complete opposite of jerome. he's calm, collected, and seemingly sane---at least at first. bruce trusts him at first and he even befriends him for a period of time before jeremiah betrays him.
jeremiah is a genius engineer, and, when looking into his past, we can assume that he was a child prodigy. he worked with thomas wayne before he died and designed the wayne plaza building under the aforementioned alias "xander wilde." he also locked himself in an underground maze for ~6 years (i believe?) and never went outside, instead sending his proxy (ecco) out to act in his place during business transactions.
as seen here, jeremiah seems to be the complete opposite of showboat jerome:
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when we first meet jeremiah, we are told that he is totally sane, but we can later see that this is not the complete truth.
i'll use jeremiah's project as a metaphor for this. jeremiah was building a set of generators which could make energy harvesting and usage much less expensive and much more bio-friendly (if i remember correctly). bruce promised to fund his project and jeremiah accepts his offer quickly.
after jerome dies in season 4 after kidnapping bruce and jeremiah, he left behind a concoction of chemicals that seemingly make jeremiah go insane. this is a play on joker toxin / joker venom from the greater dc universe.
however, after jeremiah reveals his new self
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he says that the spray did not actually change who he actually is, but just gave him an altered appearance. there are a lot of fan theories about this, but the general consensus is that the spray likely lowered his inhibitions, which gave him the kick needed to reveal his true self.
even his complexion resembles the joker he corresponds with: black and white. he is the black and white joker because he isn't as expressive, is way more calculated, and is more cruel and less happy. even his skin is paper white.
here's some gifs of what he looks like after those "slight cosmetic changes" :
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that looks a lot more like the joker we know and love today, right? bleach-pale skin, red painted lips, green hair. he's instantly recognizable as the stereotypical joker now.
remember when i mentioned the generators? let's go back to them. the entire time that the generators have been around, they've also been perfectly functional as powerful bombs. their ability to be used as bombs does not undermine the fact that they can also be used as generators, and both of these things were true at the same time *for the entire time they have existed.*
it is in this way that jeremiah's paradoxical nature has always existed. jeremiah is crafty, cunning, and absolutely vicious. he has no care or concern for human life in general and will sacrifice most people in his life if it means that he will get what he wants in the end.
this is shown both before and after the joker toxin in how he lied about jerome when they were children (which caused jerome to be heavily abused) and in how jeremiah willingly killed one of his most devoted and beloved followers, who was being ransomed, just because someone put him on hold and it was personally easier for him to just kill him than sit on hold on the phone for a while. (he also has a vicious streak, though, because he immediately moved the demolition of the bombs up to immediately once he was out of the blast zone because those people inconvenienced him.)
something that's important to realize about jeremiah is that he has an issue with being called crazy. jerome does, too, but he eventually comes to accept the term, almost like he's reclaiming it, but jeremiah is *violently* against it. that's one of the things that set him off in the previously mentioned interaction.
both jeremiah and jerome are obsessed with bruce, though in different ways. jeremiah sees bruce first as his best friend and later as the "brother [he] could never have, that jerome could never be." jerome just sees bruce as a particularly entertaining and interesting kid who he enjoyed tormenting who he would eventually kill.
anyway, despite jeremiah being crazy (or, depending on who you ask, just less inhibited) he is still crazy smart and calculating. he thinks through everything before he does it and his master plans seem like they go on forever with 10000 parts to them and backups and contingencies galore.
the only time that jeremiah ever really seems to break out of this is when he's fighting with bruce. while he still does have a greater point to make or something he's trying to accomplish, he thinks through things less with him and shows his impulsive and rash side a bit more, which is interesting because jerome showed his thoughtful and contemplative side when faced with the obstacle that is bruce thomas wayne. i love parallels and contrasts, especially in these two characters! i just love writing about twins, they're always so interesting.
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some important things about their relationship to one another:
even though jerome kidnapped jeremiah and seemingly strapped a bomb to his neck (after breaking into his house and telling him that he would kill him), jerome doesn't seem to actually want jeremiah to die. instead, as we later find out, he wants jeremiah to unleash his true self and carry on his legacy of chaos and cruelty in gotham for him after his death. this is why he left behind the laughing gas for him.
(the fact that jerome thought to do all of that shows that he really was a smart character and that he truly did understand the world around him well. he knew exactly what would happen in the event of his death, i.e. bruce offering to fund jeremiah's work and jeremiah accepting, as is shown when jerome has the joker venom in a present box which claims to be sent from wayne enterprises.)
jeremiah *hates* to be compared to jerome in any way, as he thinks of himself as "the face of true sanity." he actually has an entire notebook full of jerome's ideas, which he says he will outdo and perfect, thus defeating his brother in the end, which i don't know if i agree with, but whatever.
i think that it's because of the reputation that jerome got at the circus. jeremiah wanted people to think of him as better than jerome and as the perfect child, which he succeeded at. to him, jerome is synonymous with crazy, which i've already mentioned that he hates to be called.
okay, just one more part to talk about. the infamous, much anticipated Mr. J!!!
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in the series finale, it is revealed that jeremiah, after falling into a vat of acid, is horribly disfigured and pretends to be in a vegetative state for the whole ten years that bruce is on his quest to improve himself before becoming batman. he does this as a way of waiting for bruce to come back to gotham so he can continue to be obsessed with him.
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however, though this is jeremiah, it seems that he has actually gone through immense mental trauma sometime during this time (perhaps during his fall into a vat of chemicals), which has caused him to sort of lose his sense of self. he once says that there was "another me" [another him] once, which is, of course, referring to jerome. this implies that jeremiah sees jerome as an extension of himself, almost, and almost makes it seem as if mr. j is a whole different entity of his own.
hopefully this clears everything up a bit for you!! let me know if you have any questions or want to know anything specific about the characters and i will be glad to oblige!
thank you once again for being so kind as to leave this ask!! it really made my day. thank you for enjoying my fic, i hope it continues to live up to expectations. i have a lot of fun things planned (and i am very happy that you decided to look into these characters more, because they are actually extremely important to the plot as we get more into the actual story!). <33
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cursedonyx · 9 months ago
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Helloo
(English isn‘t my first Language). I‘m new in the hogwarts legacy fandom and adore your fanfictions and cute stuff around a lot!
Could you write just a little Fanfic about mc is sick and fig is taking care? Haven‘t found a sickfic about them but have the feeling i need it because i love their parent-child-like relationship. >w<
Have a nice day!
Sorry it took a while, but I hope this is what you were looking for!
Professor Fig looks after MC when they're poorly.
Word Count - ~800
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MC felt like ass.
They’d woken that morning with a sniffly nose, but by the time they’d dragged themselves out of bed and to the Great Hall for breakfast, they’d realised something was terribly wrong. Everything they ate tasted like cardboard, and no matter how much they drank, their head just didn’t stop hurting. Their muscles were like water, and it was a struggle to stay awake.
Professor Fig noticed as they staggered up from their house table, swaying alarmingly and almost toppling over backwards. He was on his feet in a moment and rushing to their side, supporting them gently.
“We need to get you to the Hospital Wing,” he said, propping them up as the other students craned to get a look at the commotion.
MC shook their head as quickly as they could, then stopped when it made them dizzy. They hated hospitals, and Fig knew this as well as anyone. With a low sigh, he tugged their arm over his shoulders and supported them out of the Great Hall, eventually bending to scoop their legs and carry them when it became clear they weren’t going to be able to walk all the way up to his office.
Once there, Fig laid them on the sofa and covered them with a blanket, peering in concern at their shiny red nose and puffy eyes. He picked up a cloth and mopped at the beads of sweat on their brow.
“Dear oh dear,” he said. “You’ve come down with quite the illness, it seems. You must have been overexerting yourself again, hm?”
MC nodded vaguely, and it rather seemed to Fig that they weren’t completely lucid. He cooled the cloth with a charm and laid it on their forehead, settling back on his haunches and watching them with deep concern. It was no secret that he’d grown to care deeply for MC, as if they were his own, and it pained him greatly to see them so unwell.
He levitated a chair over and sat upon it, wondering what to do. Obviously the best thing to do would be to have them under the care of Madam Blainey, but MC was deathly afraid of hospitals and anything resembling them. It’d only serve to distress them.
Fig sat back and ran a hand over his face. He remembered rather well all the times he’d been poorly as a boy, curled up in his bed or on the threadbare sofa his parents owned. A smile touched his lips as he remembered his father reading to him in his sonorous voice, lulling him to sleep, his mother making a hearty chicken broth on the stove to soothe his sore throat.
That would be it, then. If MC wouldn’t go to the hospital wing or take any medicine, he’d just have to do it the old-fashioned way.
Making sure that MC was as comfortable as possible and asleep, Fig darted down to the kitchens and begged the house elves for ingredients for a soothing chicken broth. It took a while to convince them that no, he didn’t want them to make it for him, he just wanted the ingredients, and maybe a recipe or two. He had to do this himself, it wouldn’t be the same if the elves did it for him. The best part of a homemade, healthsome soup was the fact it was made with love.
Fig carted the ingredients back to his office and cooled the cloth on MC’s brow again, checking to see if there had been any improvement. They were sound asleep, but their breathing was laboured and their fever was high. Setting his lips in a thin line, Fig conjured a cauldron and began to prepare a wholesome soup.
MC woke a few hours later, the rich scents of chicken and thyme pushing through the stuffiness of their nose. Wincing, they shifted on the sofa, wondering where they were, but Fig was beside them in an instant, pressing a small bowl of steaming soup into their hands. When MC proved they could spoon it into their mouth unaided, Fig shuffled onto the sofa behind their head, letting them rest against him as they devoured the broth and asking for seconds, warmed from the toes up by this magical brew that seemed to clear their head and soothe their spirit.
Fig chuckled, making sure they had plenty to drink, and summoned a book of fairy tales into his hand. He opened to a random page and began to read, his soft, gentle voice filling his office as MC set their bowl aside and curled up, their head in his lap, their eyelids fluttering as they listened to him read. Within the hour, they were asleep, but Fig kept reading, hoping that the stories he told would somehow wind their way into MC’s dreams, giving them fantastical visions of the impossible, knowing in his heart that they were capable of all that and more.
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nct-charlee · 7 months ago
Text
Jaemin + Charlee (CharMin)
“Charming. That’s what we are. ”
masterlist // NCT DREAM
(korean, english)
warning: NONE.
a/n: but hi everyone !!! so sorry for literally disappearing from the face of the earth for almost a year (yikes!). when i first started writing and thinking up Charlee i had the time and energy to finally write something. but the more i wrote and the less i saw people actually engage in my work was extremely disheartening. it was a really hard thing to consider but i just couldn’t write without thinking of what people would think of my work (if they would even read it LOL). at that same time i started falling out of love with kpop and kpop content and so it made no sense to keep doing something i found no joy in doing. BUTTTT i finally gained that spark and started following NCT and RIIZE!! writing charlee and her story was one of my favorite things to do and i really missed it i think. so her story lives on!! and there’s someone on the way, coming very very soon 😉
WC:
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First Meeting
“She was and is so-” (all the members start groaning, Chenle and Haechan start saying ‘la la la I can’t hear you’)
“-pretty” (Staff coo while all the members starts booing causing Jaemin to just smile wider)
It was right after the meeting to reveal that Charlotte would in fact join NCT dream
Charlotte was the last in the room, still trying to rack her brain. she was going to debut
Not just that she was going to debut in a boy group, all different things going on in her head
Jaemin had seen her around, in passing. They had not once said anything to each other though
“She was still bawling in the office and I felt so bad. I don’t even remember what I said exactly, but I remember comforting her.”
Jaemin had realized he hadn’t seen her and decided to go see where she was
He had just been put on hiatus for his back and had a feeling Charlotte was probably feeling horrible, she probably thought she was replacing him
When he came in she had her head in her hands and was sobbing. He quickly walked inside and closed the door, coughing slightly so she could hear him
She quickly tried to wipe her tears, before sniffing out “Sorry, I’ll get out soon…”
“No, no, You’re fine. I was actually looking for you,” He smiles softly. “I just wondered if you wanted to go and get some snacks with me?”
“Um, okay. Sure?”
Jaemin laughed a little and held his hand, taking hers and leading her to the nearest convenience store
Fan Favorite Moment
During “Boom” it was obvious that Dream was going in a darker and more mature era
Slowly her clothes got short and tighter until she all she could do was place her hands around her to at least have a little modesty off stage
It was also when staff realized she was in fact the same height as multiple members, if not taller
When people would bring up her height, he often would often try to change the subject, knowing she was uncomfortable with talking about it
He was also silently helping her with her clothes
Covering her with blankets or towels during variety or awards shows. If nothing was around he would use his own jacket, not caring that he was going to get a earful from the stylists
One time, the camera man started zooming in on her. He immediately jumped into frame and started smiling and waving his finger ‘no’.
When Charlee finally notices the camera she waves and they both start joking around
It’s still unclear if the camera persons intentions were bad or good
On Screen
“We are very charming so Charmin is us!”
Popularity: 9/10
Nicknames: Baby, Honey, Jagiya…that’s it, only endearing names
Best couple right here (I mean whatttt??)
They are so loved that even the biggest scandals that have come from DREAM was because of them, but they got cleared immediately when people realized it was about them
Clingyyyyy
Again one of the few members to show affection on screen
Jaemin while being the perceived “loudest” in variety content, Charlee is perceived the “loudest” during vlogs and trip content. In both occasions they balance each other out
Either calming each other or bringing the other out of their shell. A slight graze of each others arm is all they need to know that they’re either doing “too much” or “too little”
Off Screen
Still touchy, if not more so
Off camera Charlee is quite unserious and is seriously the joker AND a big yapper
Being the same but total opposites at the same time translates even off screen
Charlee is not shy to run up to him and hug him randomly, or call him randomly to say “I have to pee”
There’s no such thing as TMI between them and she makes sure he remembers that
One of the first tattoos she had gotten was dedicated to 8dream, each member had a little doodle she drew that reminded her of them
His was a cup of coffee in a ying and yang-esque way. One half being darker (his namericano) and one half being a milk-coffee (her 70:30 creamer and milk to coffee ratio)
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progmanx · 4 months ago
Note
Soo… thoughts on the flip side?
I enjoyed it when I played it, but it left zero lasting impression on me, unlike the first two games. It holds no special place in my heart, and I honestly question why it exists. I think there's a lot you COULD say about sex workers and how that internal perception works, how Jecka's total lack of control in her life paralyzes her, but...I don't think this has really much to say at all. The FYE route reads and feels like a bad South Park episode, which is completely baffling.
And for the love of God if you want to if you NEED to for some reason make a joke about how this kid from the suburbs doesn't know geography SAY PAKISTAN FIRST as the one she is mixing up that was so tone deaf and pointless as a writing decision.
As much as SBN3 talks about how humor and jokes work and that's what he does? Where are the jokes. The same bit with Jecka's dad screaming at her is kind of funny the first time you play it but it's not gonna work twice. There's no longevity there's no LIFE to this, unlike the first two.
Basically none of the humor is actually going to be funny a second time unlike ALL of the Re-Up and a lot of the original game. For something that marketed itself as "the other games matter here to remember" they really didn't except the Nicole suicide route which was done extremely well but...we already did this messaging. That's why it was good we did ALL of this before. There was nothing actually new here to explore or say.
Just a remix in a far more muddied and far less entertaining way. Three routes are about jobs in the Recession which could be really interesting to explore but. They didn't.
I don't even have a problem with the feet thing, tbh, but it's the SAME joke over and over and over and it stops working faster than the game thinks it does imo.
Nicole having toe sex with Jecka's dad feels...baffling and bizarre. Especially after how much time was spent in the sex worker route FOR NICOLE last time. She can't fuck a stranger sober but she can do this? To this old creepy dude she is disgusted by at the start? I know she's vindictive but jfc???
We did this already.
Ms. Ames as the counselor (no she's not she's Remedial English), Kyle as...cited as the guy who killed his mom for Jecka in the opening but then he's just there? Again, talking about how the other games matter but they don't?? There's like. No characterization here, but most of all, above everything else, why I only enjoyed it once and why I don't love it?
There is not one trace of sincerity outside of the Nicole Suicide route. BECAUSE THAT'S FROM THE FIRST GAME. It all feels just so...hollow and forced and frustrated and almost spiteful. Like why the fuck is it ARI who dies and not JECKA KILLING HER DAD?! There's no consistency here, basically everyone is flanderized I just.
what the fuck?
I'm not even that disappointed, since I went in expecting nothing, but to go that hard on the first two and then you show up with whatever the hell this is? Anachronism after anachronism---if you want to talk about instituional cp you need to actually oh gee I dunno give that some fucking room. You SHOULD talk about it if you feel you can in a way that's HELPFUL but shouting it with nothing else to say doesn't do shit and really doesn't fit with...the other games actually saying stuff and meaning it.
I have defended the Mr. White stuff because of how easy the slippery slope of radicalization is but this is just fucking stupid. There's nothing to this. It's a bunch of references in the FYE route and if you can't get Antfish back just do not put the counselor in the voice doesn't work with an impression. There's like. no actual banter in this game, either. There's no solid back and forth.
I doubt I'll stick around for the anime if this is where things are at, like okay man. You had two great things I'll always love them. This gave me a fun evening and I am already struggling to remember anything that happened or anything that was said. The other two are seared into my brain forevermore.
also that last text message was just lazy troll dick move; everyone will think he is being entirely serious.
God just
HOW DO YOU GO FROM HAVING A COMEDY DUO THAT IS UP THERE WITH ABBOT AND COSTELLO TO DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!
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godihatethiswebsite · 7 months ago
Text
Desert Oasis
✽ Johnny "Soap" Mactavish x f!reader (The Mummy AU)
Main Masterlist ✽ Ao3
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✽ Part 8 - On a horse with no name
Let's just assume from now on that I'm incapable of writing anything that could conceivably be referred to as a 'normal length', shall we? I already broke this up with part 7 and I didn't want to give you three chapters of just desert.
Also I have an Ao3 now if any of you would prefer to read it over there instead. All of my works will be cross posted.
Buckle in for this almost 13k monstrosity! :)
Traveling the first leg of the desert was definitely not a glamorous endeavor. Adjusting to a horse’s gait was far different than that of a camel’s pace. Whereas you were familiar with the lateral walk of the former which had diagonal leg pairs moving together, the latter moved in a syncopated rhythm - both legs on one side progressing forward at the same time. 
You quickly learned it was imperative to let your body sway along with the rockiness as it plodded along, tensing up only serving to add discomfort to an already strange motion. It took some getting used to, but once you got past the years of conditioning from riding horseback and into the hang of it you found it a rather enjoyable experience lumbering along over massive sand dunes.
The sweat beaded on your temples, dripping from your brow bone and skiing down the ridge of your nose. The sun scorched your skin and chapped your lips, tongue darting out to relieve the worst of it as you tried to be sparing with your water consumption.
The breaks were few and far between, but that was to be understood when you were voyaging through a dry, arid wasteland with an average temperature of over forty degrees celsius. You’d made the journey across the Mediterranean and Tyrrhenian Seas multiple times in your life, accustomed to the vastness of the blue rolling waters laid out as far as the eye can see. It was easy to see how civilizations believed the world was flat for millennia when there was nothing to break up the horizon.
You distinctly remembered your first crossing as a child. You’d ended up clutching onto your mother’s skirts in horror the first time you sailed away from the coast out into the English Channel. It was an unsettling trick of the eye; as if you were staring at the most beautiful painting of sky and sea… but if you got too close you’d sail straight through the canvas and off the edge of the world.
The same could almost be said of your current environment, sand seemingly endless no matter how far the camels trudged onward. The landscape was broken up only by the occasional rock formation, areas of packed earth along the flats where the brittle cracks spoke of how parched the ground was. 
There were no views to entertain the mind - just nothingness. Over nine million square kilometers of it.
The boys spoke at length the first day, the topics of conversation ranging from the recollections of their past to stories of their recent. Some of these were ones you’d already heard from your cousin that they were more than happy to revisit. The occasional argument broke out about the particulars of the events, one saying this while the other said that, the two of them squawking like ruffled geese that refused to secede territory to the other.
Kyle once looked back at you as if expecting your input to be a tiebreaker, something that genuinely made you laugh at the ridiculousness of it as you reminded him that at no point had you ever been to Cambrai nor did you understand the logistics of how to take apart and rebuild an SMLE.
So far as your own input to the discussions, you left most of that to the men to engage with you. It wasn’t as if you were being antisocial - hard to attempt with two chatterboxes for company - but you spent more time being an active listener than a willing participant. In truth, it was nice to turn your brain off for a bit and be swept away by the tales they’d spun of their times together. 
How many nights had you spent curled up in the parlor, legs tucked up under you with a glass of port in your hand while Kyle whiled away the midnight hours stirring your imagination of the many things he’d seen out there in the wide open world? His voice became a soothing balm on evenings where sleep eluded you, taking over for the comfort provided by your father after his untimely passing years prior. You would never object to a recital from him, certainly not now when it was aiding to take your mind off the harsh unimpeded sun battering down on your group.
What really surprised you was the amount you found yourself enjoying the rougher Scottish lilt of your other companion. There was a brashness in the way Johnny spoke compared to your cousin that could be borderline offensive to the ear at times, but it was oddly refreshing to hear the candidness of someone who hadn’t grown up afraid to blurt out the first thing that came to mind. And the man had charm for days that came so naturally to him you could brush off anything that left his lips with an exasperated but secretly fond sigh. 
Johnny tried numerous times to drag out your thoughts on certain matters pertaining to things you might have some knowledge or experience in, but more often than not you didn’t take the bait to start up a conversation, not even when the topics turned less ‘civilized’.
You weren’t a prude. Whilst you had no experience of your own to speak of, you were certainly educated by this point in time of the way life goes that certain subjects and suggestions didn’t rattle you the way it had in your youth upon first discovery. And swearing was a bad habit you picked up as well if the occasion called for it. 
So despite Johnny’s best attempts to shock you into giving him some sort of response he could work off of, you didn’t bat an eye at his crass language.
You ignored the way his eyes lost a bit of their luster every time you shrugged off his attempts, though he lost none of the determination to sway you otherwise. It wasn’t until Kyle took sympathy - on you or Johnny, you couldn’t say - and steered it back to other topics that Johnny relented and went back to their own merry prattle.
Part of you felt bad at your treatment towards Johnny, but there was still a small nagging in your gut that kept reminding you there was a dangerous man hiding behind that dazzling smile. 
Did you think he was going to do something untoward in the middle of the night to either you or Kyle? No. He’d proven as much the two times he’d saved you from a premature end. But it didn’t feel right to be fraternizing with someone who only a few days prior had been locked up in a Cairo prison for crimes that hadn’t even been addressed by him yet. 
Just because he was kind didn’t erase the fact that he was a felon.
Still, despite your reservations on the man, by the time you all stopped for the night and passed around rations for your supper, the animals grazing on nearby fauna as you settled down into your own spaces, you found yourself longing to get back on the camel if only for the simplicity of getting lost in his oddly enchanting brogue.
You couldn’t sleep. You’d been trying for the better part of an hour now, but at every turn the concept seemed to have eluded you. By all accounts you should’ve had a better time of it than the previous night, equipped as you were now for the next days travel through the desert; a colorful sleeping mat providing a protective layer between you and the hard rocky ground, your rolled up bag propped under your head for support, a weaved blanket warding the chill off your bones. Even the light of the smoldering campfire was helping to ease your nerves of being out in the middle of nowhere. But you were lacking the exhaustion of last night even with the added ache in your body from a full day’s ride on camelback.
You could practically feel your joints creak in protest as you sat up from your prone position, pulling your dress down over your legs as you brought your knees up to your chest to sit more comfortably. Wrapping the blanket around your shoulders, you took note of your cousin asleep on his own mat opposite the fire, flayed out on his back snoring quietly. Your other companion lounged back against his own bag, half upright with one leg sprawled out in front of him and the other knee bent. A book rested propped up on the latter, a pencil in his hand as he kept his attention on the pages in front of him. 
You watched him quietly for a few moments, lost in thought of nothing really tangible. Merely caught up in observing the way his writing instrument flowed across the paper.
“Have a curious habit fer starin’, don’tcha hen?”
It startles you out of your stupor, lifting your gaze to his face to find him still focused on whatever it is he’s working on. You made sure to keep your voice down so as not to rouse Kyle.
“I could spend my time counting the grains of sand if you’d prefer.” 
That garnered a small smirk to his face, something that warmed your insides even if he had yet to glance over at you. “If ye like. Not gonna judge a lass fer her choice in hobbies.”
“Says the man judging me for people watching.”
Johnny paused his writings as he considered your words, nodding his head in a way that suggests he knows when he’s been beaten. “Fair ‘nough.” He placed his pencil between the pages of his journal like a bookmark, closing it and setting it off to the side. It’s only then that he finally lifts his gaze to yours. Even in the shadow of the night, there’s a flame inside those eyes that has nothing to do with the one flickering in the middle of camp. “Gather yer havin’ a hard time sleepin’?”
“Legs are too sore to get comfortable,” you grumble out with a small grimace, fully aware of the throbbing on the inside of your thighs now that you were paying attention to it again. “Not used to having them spread that far apart for so long.”
It was only when Johnny suddenly and violently barked out a bout of laughter that you realized the unintended double meaning to your statement, ducking your head as your face began to heat in mortification. It also had you cringing at his volume, fully aware of the other member of your party slumbering nearby.
“Don't wake Kyle,” you scolded softly despite your embarrassment, glancing that way to make sure his sleep remained undisturbed.
“Not tae worry, hen. Man sleeps like a wee bairn if given the chance. Ye’d be surprised the things our ears are trained ta pick up on. If he needed tae be awake, only then would he be.”
He stated it so matter of factly that it gave you pause. It was weird hearing the person you grew up knowing talked about in that kind of light, one tinted with a red hue that made you ponder how much you really knew him nowadays. You’d seen the effect of war on the men who came home, deceived at first into thinking that your cousin had been spared the crippling memories when he first waltzed through your door looking as polished as always. Once the sheer joy at your cousin’s homecoming softened, it was then you realized there were shadows lurking behind those big brown eyes you’d never seen before. 
But what if what happened to him wasn't the only reason for his changes? Maybe it was more than trauma that turned the gorgeous smile into something with a subtle bite. 
Taking a look at his relaxed sleeping form, you weren't sure how many molecules were left of the boy who once yanked your pigtails, broken down and remade into something maybe not befitting this kinder world anymore.
“Sometimes I feel like a different man came home to me,” you confided softly, Johnny quiet and still as he allowed you your space to vent. “I know it’s not fair of me to have expected him to return untouched by battle when I’ve seen so many others shaken to their very core at experiences they still won’t give words to. But it’s like there’s a whisper of a thing prowling beneath his skin that occasionally slithers out to take many forms. Sometimes it’s sadness and grief swimming at the bottom of a bottle. Other times its words sharp as knives spat out and guarded behind bruised knuckles. I’ll look at my cousin and not know if I’m talking to the man I left behind or the creature that remains.”
It was a hard thing to admit out loud - this weight you carried with you. Even odder still was the fact that you were sharing your innermost thoughts with a man you’d had the scantest of conversation with prior to this. What was it about him that made words spill unbidden from your lips that you’d hardly acknowledged yourself?
“Ah’ll not try tae explain the complexities of war tae ye, hen, but when ya send a man tae greet his God there’s a sliver of yer soul that goes with ‘em.” 
You’re instantly drawn back to him as he speaks, expecting to see him burning a hole right through you with the intense truth behind his words, but finding him engrossed back in whatever project he’d taken up in his book. It’s almost like there’s something in his eyes he doesn’t want you to see, revealing it to the pages instead. You’re being spared from something that you have no clue what it is. 
“Garrick is a fierce fighter, one ah’m glad tae have mah back in any sort of danger ye can fathom. Comparatively, he’s also one o’ the most easy goin’ blokes ah’ve had the pleasure ta serve with. Has a good head on his shoulders, that one. The lad can ease even the most ruffled o’ feathers and leave ye with the biggest grin tae grace yer face in ages. Ah owe him fer more than jus’ the skin off mah back.”
You knew exactly what he meant. After the death of your parents, Kyle had been instrumental in keeping all the broken pieces of your heart from fracturing even further. Curious to think the man who was currently heaping praise on your cousin was also the same man Kyle wrote home about in such high regard.
“From what I’ve gathered, you seem to have a certain gift for doing that yourself.” 
The small smirk that appeared on his face seemed to have cleared away whatever cobwebs he’d collected on his soul, eyes full of mirth as he looked to lighter subjects - and you. “Warmed up tae me now, ‘ave ye lass?”
“Didn’t need warming up when we were never chilly in the first place.”
“Not from where ah’ve been standin’.”
“That’s not true. I–” The look he gave you sunk deep into your bones and spoke volumes, having the decency to avert your gaze as he pried out the truth from your attempted denial. “You didn’t exactly make the best first impression is all…”
Glancing up at his heavy sigh, you watched him rake his fingers through the long strands of his mohawk for a few moments as he collected his thoughts into words. “Cannae fault ye fer that. Must’ve appeared like a right scoundrel tae ya. Dinnae mean tae upset ye so badly, hen. Ah’dve much rathered our first meetin’ have happened someplace more befittin’ a warmer introduction.” 
You figured it was as good a time as any to inquire as to the particulars of his incarceration, having learned nothing from your cousin about the subject when pestered. Part of you couldn’t deny being nervous as to his answer - if he would even give you one. 
You kept your voice soft as you implored him for some reason not to think the worst of him. “What happened, Johnny? What put you in there?”
“Defendin’ a lass’s honor.” 
His unexpected response gave you pause, finding yourself sitting up a little bit straighter at the seriousness in his tone. Given his nature, you weren’t so much surprised to find a brawl landed him behind bars. It was the noble reasoning to his actions that had you reevaluating your views on the man.
“Stumbled out o’ the gin joint one night after comin’ back from a job. Happened upon a bloke overpowerin’ a poor thing on mah way out the door. Gave the fucker the privilege o’ findin’ out wha’ happens when the tables turn and yer not the one with the power anymore.” He held his head up higher as he went on. “Two broken ribs, shattered patella, fractured jaw, dislocated shoulder, black eye, punctured lung, and a feedin’ tube. Copper said it was assault. I said it was re-learnin’ manners.” 
His eyes held no trace of deceit, but there was undeniable pride in himself at what he’d done. Not a single ounce of remorse shined through - just pure sated venom. He might have named himself a predator, but Johnny wasn’t a mere coyote out to stalk the wandering herd of sheep for stragglers.
He was the livestock guardian dog who came back home with a reddened maw and chunks of flesh between his teeth.
It curled something within you as you took him in, the weight of past grievances off your chest that had kept you from truly acknowledging his character. He may have been a little rougher around the edges compared to the gentlemen you normally kept company with, but how many times had those knobby knuckles been split wide on the face of a man who deserved it?
“Gonna make ye think a wee bit better of me now, lass?”
You considered him for a moment. “I think I’m finally getting a clearer picture of the man Kyle always claimed you to be.”
There was something akin to subtle relief in the look Johnny gave you, the way his shoulders minutely untensed in previous preparation for a different verdict. You didn't think your opinion of him would have mattered so much, though you supposed most people didn't want to be viewed negatively by your peers.
You didn't try to dig into a further reasoning beyond that.
“You know, he would prattle on about you all the time.” It was easier for you to stare into the fire as you spoke of your cousin’s ramblings, feeling odd recounting such things to his actual person. “He’d write me letters almost every day if he could. Said it was for my own peace of mind to let me know he was still breathing, but I think he was also reassuring himself of that notion as well. He often wanted to chat about home, a distraction from everything and a way to dodge the questions I fielded him concerning his own life. But he also spoke of his adventures out in the real world. Heard about the mischief you lot entangled yourselves in all the time.”
There was a fondness to your smile as you recalled certain tales of misbehavior, numerous as they were. “I know he must’ve sugar coated things for my benefit more often than not, but what he did share with me…” You shook your head in mild exasperation. “How the two of you survived with only a single brain cell between you I’ll never know.”
“Ah’m an upstandin’ citizen, hen.” There was a twinkle in those sapphire hues as he spread his arms wide in playful boastfulness. “Couldnae find a scrap of funny business in me if ye tried.”
The chuckle in his voice was infectious, a giggle bubbling up from your throat making its way past your lips and into your speech. “Oh really?” You challenged, “Then what say you about the incident involving the Mark IV and that bottle of Macallan?”
Johnny scoffed. “Rust bucket was highly volatile after sufferin’ heavy damage durin’ a previous skirmish. Minor malfunction in the tank’s firin’ mechanism led to a unexpected implosion.” 
“Interesting way of saying you dropped a stick of dynamite in a freshly downed bottle of single malt whisky and left it in the center console to go boom.”
He didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed through that cheeky smirk. It was a good look on him. “Lad’s gotta find a way tae keep morale up in the troops, hen. What’s a harmless bit o’ merrymakin’ between comrades if it means givin’ us a well earned respite from combat?”
“And that time you and Kyle snuck into a German occupied hotel in Brussels to avoid sleeping out in that deluge?” You’d had some choice words for your cousin in that fervently written reply.
“Simple reconnaissance mission.” 
“Mmhmm.” Wow. The audacity to say that with a straight face…
“Ye know, yer not the only one familiar with the other, hen.” It was a change of subject mainly to get the heat back off of him, but it did its intended purpose as your interest was piqued. “Couldnae stop hearin’ Kyle bletherin’ on about his precious dolly back home. Made the lads jealous fer havin’ such a pretty bird, even if ye were related.”
You squirmed in your seat, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear that you proceeded to twirl around your finger as a minor distraction. It made you strangely uncomfortable to hear yourself be spoken of like that - not at the fact Kyle shared things about you with the others. Moreso the way he did. “I’m afraid my cousin has probably put me on too high of a pedestal then. I’m far less interesting than he would have undoubtedly led you all to believe.”
That must not have been the response Johnny was expecting from you. There was genuine puzzlement as he glanced you up and down, almost checking to see if he was addressing the right woman. “Didnae think one such as yerself was never taught how tae take a compliment, hen. Yer much more than ye seem to realize.”
To be fair, up until now you were confident you knew how to take one as well. It was part of being out in society; knowing how to dole out false modesty at praises while simpering behind a fan as fancied lords did their best peacock impressions in an effort to win your favor. You’d never been overflowing with suitors in your youth, but you’d eagerly smiled and blushed while returning their flattering remarks. 
‘How accomplished you are at dancing, my lady.’ ‘What remarkable needlework you’ve created!’ ‘Your skin is positively radiant. What cosmetics do you use?’
This felt different though. It was easy to impress people whose whole livelihood was dedicated to the art of faking being impressed. Amongst the people who did something that actually mattered, all those years spent mastering the arts of elocution and poise were paltry in comparison. What good does perfecting a chain stitch or curtsey do in the real world?
“I was brought up to be the very model of a well bred enchanting heiress; hardly a lifestyle made for excitement or spontaneity. Of course there were my studies in Egyptology that were all self taught, but even there I'm much more a phantom floating through the halls of the Cairo museum in search of new knowledge than someone of actual importance to the place. I’ve never been one for real adventures. Ask Kyle. He was always the one dragging me out on some silly thing or another.” Much to the displeasure of your parents.
“Only ‘cause he wanted tae give ye the things ye always dreamed of but never let yerself ‘ave.”
That caught you off guard - not to mention it didn't make much sense in the first place considering how many times you’d objected to Kyle’s ventures before you predictably gave in to his fervent harassing.
Your silence gave Johnny the chance to elaborate at your quizzical expression.
“Look… yer a proper lady, hen, and there's nothin' wrong with embracin' that part of ye. Ye should never feel ashamed of yer sex or how ye were raised fer a world much different than most. But ye would think up such grand ideas knowin’ full well ye’d never get the chance tae experience them yerself and it broke the poor lad’s heart. Ye were a willin’ participant to a way of livin’ that kept ya from actually livin’. Garrick just had the guts and half a brain tae put action ta yer silly imaginin’s, even if ye dinnae realize he was doin’ it at the time.” Johnny shifted his posture to get more comfortable, intertwining his fingers and resting them on his abdomen. “So far as ah'm aware, ye were the mastermind behind all yer youthful endeavors.”
That wasn't true. I mean, there was no denying that Kyle had taken up a massive part in a lot of your formative years, playing pretend and going along with the stories you crafted in your mind. The pair of you were thick as thieves whenever one of your families made the long trip to visit each other. It was easy to admire the way he moved through the world so effortlessly, a perfect blend of casual arrogance and easygoing confidence. He was everything a well brought up man should be, only with a mischievous streak that often got you in trouble by association. 
It was a well known fact that you were the innocent one in all his schemings.
There was that time he… 
Or maybe when…
…but what about…
Suddenly you were sat there staring blankly at your lap, mentally combing through memories of your childhood trying to justify all the times you and your cousin wandered off only to be scolded at the end for something he roped you into participating in. However, each time you peered closer at the unfolding events of the day, you were finding it harder to argue that you’d been as passive as you'd always believed.
You’d constantly been praised growing up by the adults for being a sweet, demure, amiable good girl. Kyle was the one who was the delinquent of your duo… wasn’t he?
Sensing your confusion, Johnny offered up an example to help your brain along. ”How’s about when Garrick put ye up on the handlebars o’ his bicycle and ye nearly crashed into a carriage on yer way down the hill? Wouldnae ‘ave happened if ye hadn’t opened yer mouth minutes earlier and asked how fast the bloody thing could go.”
The temptation to go over and kick your cousin awake just so he could tell Johnny otherwise was strong, but he kept talking before you had the chance to move from your bedroll. “Then there was the time ya snuck into yer da's study tae steal a cigar because ye were upset when he denied yer request tae try a puff. Said it wasnae proper for ladies ta partake.” 
You recalled that night quickly, Kyle fiddling with a small set of tools in his hand that he procured from god knows where to unlock the top drawer of your father's desk and steal one of his finest from his collection. It had ended up being a ghastly affair, choking down smoke as your cousin laughed at your inability to handle it the way he could.
You'd been fifteen at the time and hadn't touched one since. 
But that had been on a dare, hadn’t it?
You scrambled for something to latch onto as the uncomfortable truth of your once accurate beliefs stared you in the face, hidden pieces of your spirit put on display. There must be something–
The garden wall.
When your cousin conned you into climbing it with him and you scratched up your legs on the thorny rose bush at the bottom. You would’ve been four at the time to his six. Mother had been so cross as she tended to your bleeding cuts while Kyle’s father gave him a stern reprimand in the other room. That had been the first day you’d met and set the tone for the rest of your lives.
The incident that started it all.
Voice nearly teetering on hysterics, you held tight to your victory as proof of your innocence. “He was–” For a moment you forgot the subject in question was still dozing ten feet across from you, lowering your voice down to a harsh whisper. “He was the one who wanted to go over the garden wall!”
“Because ya complained the wall stole yer sunset and ye wanted it back.” His stare held no room for argument - no escape to try to back away from.
And just like that, the shimmering veil draped over your remembrance fell away as a long buried part of that day came to the surface. 
An afternoon spent outside playing in the grass, darting between trees and through rows of flowerbeds, your cousin at your heels. Your mother fussing over the dirt on your hem while your aunt placated her with a chuckled ‘let them be children’. The disappointment of the darkening sky signaling the end of your visitation.
‘But I wanna keep playing!’ You pouted with a quivering lower lip and watery eyes, not quite ready to leave your new friend and return home. ‘Stupid wall. Why’d it have to take away the sun…?’
A readied hand reaching down for yours. ‘Then let’s go get it back.’
Oh.
Johnny watched the emotions change on your face, letting you stew in them as long held perceptions suddenly gained a new clarity. It was quiet after that, the only sounds to be made were the camels' occasional gruntings in their sleep and the soft crackling of dry wood burning away in the campfire. It seemed you had a lot of things in your past to come to terms with.
“How come I don’t remember it that way?” There was a tinge of frustration at how faulty your memory apparently was, but it was more out of sadness than fury.
He shrugged, though not without a look of sympathy. “Ye were young. And Garrick didnae want ya tae feel like ye weren't bein’ a dutiful daughter. So he gave ye the push and took the fall himself. But ye cannae look me in the eye and tell me the bumps and bruises hadnae been worth it fer all the smiles it gave ya.”
You didn't quite know how to process all that; the fact that a complete stranger had more insight into your life than you who actually lived it. Your voice soft, “He told you all that?”
“Aye, he did. Feels like there's not much I dunnae already ken about ye, hen.” Johnny reached down to where he’d discarded his book from earlier, opening it up to the bookmarked page before inspecting his writing utensil with a frown, apparently finding it wanting.
You scoffed at his words even as part of you started to believe him, hard not to with the evidence he laid at your feet. But even the gesture itself was more of a soft exhale than something mean. "I hardly think it counts when all the stories you’ve heard are just ones parroted about Kyle that I happened to be involved in.”
“There’s a field beyond Garrick’s property in Kent where he’d always find ye in the summer playin’ amongst the Meadowsweet as a wee lass. Ye liked to weave it into yer hair and pretend ye were the Lady Guinevere waitin’ fer her Lancelot.”
The look of utter surprise on your face must’ve been a sight to see, but Johnny wasn’t paying you any mind, taking a small blade from his boot to the blunted tip of his pencil as he started unravelling the particulars of your life. There was a fondness in the crinkle of his eyes as if it was a beloved memory of his own rather than one of yours. 
Why were these the kinds of stories Kyle told him about you and why did Johnny find them to be worth enough to remember them?
He continued while he sharpened. “Ye once spilled cherry juice all over yer new spring frock after sneakin’ intae the pantry fer a bite ta eat before a picnic with some o’ yer parents friends. Ye were such a sensitive bairn that yer da’ had only ta look at ye wrong fer ye ta turn tae tears and beg forgiveness. Ye’ve avoided the fruit ever since, but yer a right fiend fer strawberries.”
”The Early Dynastic and their burgeonin’ household religious practices are amongst yer favorite aspects of ancient history, but ye froth at the mouth o’er anythin’ concernin’ the mysteries o’ the First Intermediate that were lost tae time and pillagin’.” 
”Yer allergic tae cats, but ye pet ‘em anyways. Got grounded fer a week after yer ma’ discovered ye’d made a shrine tae the god Bes in yer wardrobe and were prayin’ tae that every night instead. Yer decent at piano, but where ye really took a shine was in yer drawings. Seen some of the work ya tucked away in the pages of Garrick’s letters.” Johnny finally glanced up from his whittling at that mention, a glint of something in his eyes at your stunned expression. “‘Ave tae say, lass, ye can color me a might bit impressed.” 
He was starting to scare you with the knowledge he possessed, but not in a way that gave you any true fright. Quite the opposite in fact. The butterflies had never been quite so prevalent in your stomach.
“Yer inexperience twists ya tae be a bit unsure of yerself even when ye ‘ave the skills tae get by jus’ fine. It takes ye a minute, but when ye finally find yer voice Lord help the poor lad who finds himself swiftly charmed outta hearth and home. Got a dangerous pair o’ eyes and a honey sweet tongue, ye do.”
With every fact he spewed, it seemed like the entire point of this conversation for the past few minutes was to pick you apart thread by thread until you felt more bare than you had when you were sopping wet in a translucent nightgown for anyone's eyes to feast upon. 
“Ye convinced yet, hen?” The teasing glint in his eyes should’ve been outlawed.
“You sure know an awful lot about my life for someone who’s never been a part of it,” came your response, wrapping the blanket around your form tighter as if to ward off his deeper inspections into your world.
Johnny chuckled at that, pencil finally returning to paper as he went about with whatever it was prior that your presence had interrupted. “Cannae help it if talks o’ sweet lassies back home were a welcome distraction from moldy rations and the bitter chill on harsh winter nights. Blokes in the trenches fought fer the raunchy pinups back home and the honor o’ makin’ wives outta the young nurses who cared fer their wounds. But me and Garrick knew who we were fightin’ for.”
“Not even your own family?” You meant your words to be more ribbing, something to take the weight off your chest after all the focus being on you. 
But he didn’t reciprocate the tone.
“Nah, hen. Twas yer smile ah was protectin’ each time ah fired mah rifle.”
You thought he’d shocked you enough with his bluntness to last you a lifetime, but you couldn’t have been more wrong as he flipped through to the back of his book, pulling something out that had been wedged in the creases and flipping it to face towards you.
It was old and worn at the edges, smudges of dirt and water damage evident in the way it crinkled. But there was no mistaking the face staring back at you on the small grainy black and white pocket sized polaroid. 
You remembered when it was taken, the camera a recent purchase of Kyle’s on a holiday in Marsa Matrouh. You’d traveled there with your families on one of your cousin’s leaves, giving him something to help take his mind off of the horrors he’d witnessed and remember the peace he was fighting for.
You’d been out in the sun all day, basking on the rocks along the shoreline as the Mediterranean waters lapped at your heels. Your hair was still damp and stringy, coarse with salt as it shifted in the summer breeze. Kyle had been taking pictures all day, but this was the first time he’d pulled out his camera since you all went swimming, dressed in your newest swimwear all the way from New York with an exposed neckline and a mid-thigh length skirt. It had taken some adjustment on your part getting used to being so revealed, but after your mother ordered it from a magazine and you put it on for the first time you couldn’t help but feel lovely in the garment.
Kyle had caught you off guard when he snapped it, a wild carefree smile on your face as you turned to face him when he called your name. What the camera didn’t show was the ensuing chaos that took place immediately afterwards as you ran after him for having taken that without your consent, the pair of you sprinting along the shoreline in good fun until he suddenly halted to avoid stepping on a crab, causing you to run smack into him and bowling the two of you over with uncontained laughter.
You knew he’d developed the film before he left, but never what ended up happening to the snapshot. It could’ve been placed in a box in the attic for all you were aware. Who’d have thought you’d come across it almost ten years later in the ownership of someone like Johnny, tucked away in the pages of a book for safe keeping.
“That’s who ah was endeared to. The soft-hearted lass with more courage than she realized.”
Intense was the only way to describe him. 
There was a weight to his stare that bordered on indecent. You were mostly covered from view by the blanket draped over your form, but it wasn’t your gown he was undressing with his eyes. 
It was your soul - cracked open and exposed to feast upon like a vulture. 
Ravenous in his hunger, there wasn’t a meaty morsel that went untouched. Johnny’s eyes were the most expressive you’d had the pleasure to get lost inside, dark cerulean orbs that swept in like a rogue wave and dragged you helplessly beneath the surface gasping for air. It was his one weakness; his one tell. You could learn everything you needed to know about him if you were only capable enough to figure it out. It was an experience unlike anything you’d ever encountered - and, gods, it was just a look.
If this revelation about the picture had come about yesterday instead, you had no doubt you would have promptly demanded he return the precious item to your charge. Now, it only did things to your insides thinking of how many times your visage might have kept him company on lonely nights.
As he tucked the picture back inside his book and flipped to his previous pages, he turned the conversation towards something related but a welcome change of subject. “Speakin’ o’ honey, exactly how did ye get me outta jail, lass? Ye never did say.”
Oh god. Of all the topics he could’ve picked. Johnny really enjoyed seeing you squirm thinking about how ‘bad’ your behavior had been lately, didn't he?
”My father owned his own shipping company that dealt with the transport of goods and wares, ancient artifacts included. Or, at least, he did… up until his passing. It’s now run by one of his old business partners, but his name is still included in the title.” Thank god for that or else your plan would’ve never worked. “I convinced the prison warden that you were a treasure hunter of world renown and that I had been sent there with my colleague on behalf of the CEO to allow your release - in exchange for a handsome sum upfront that would be paid again once you’d retrieved a very precious ceremonial headdress that was stolen from one of the shipments earlier that week.”
He cocked a brow at your explanation, the gears turning as he followed along with your simplification of the encounter. “And he jus’ believed ya? Without proof nor payment?”
The smug look you gave him felt very satisfying indeed. “I told him I’d lost the official documents stating such when my purse had been stolen by a local street rat on our way there. Even included waterworks for added discomfort.” 
In your experience, men didn’t know what to do with a crying woman. Most just wanted to shut you up or make you go away as soon as possible.
Mother would’ve been proud of your acting skills. 
You could see Johnny putting the pieces together in his mind, even if he was skeptical at the loose threads you left hanging. “How did ya manage tae get yer hands on official lookin’ documents?”
Weirdly enough, that had been the easiest part of the whole ruse once you’d gotten the language right.
“I never cleared out my father's study after he passed. All the important papers he’d kept on his desk were removed, but the drawers are still full of blank pages of letterhead - as was his personal seal he used. So long as the warden doesn’t look too closely into the present day chain of command at the company, he’ll never have any reason to suspect he’s been made a fool of.” 
That earned a barked laugh that filled you with joy, his gaze tilted back to the sky as he shook his head at the heavens. “Fuckin’ hell, lass. Yer a right clever one, ye are. Why ye might jus’ be the most dangerous one ‘ere.”
“Wait a mo’.” He interrupted his own amusement once he realized you’d left out an important part of this whole operation. “Ye didnae take the funds fer mah freedom from the company too, did ye lass?”
There was a pregnant pause where you debated about lying, but you weren’t sure you could last under his careful scrutiny. “...I may have reached into my own coffers to front up the payments.” 
Six hundred pounds sterling. Well, technically thirty six thousand Egyptian would be more accurate since that’s what was agreed upon. But he didn’t need to know just how much his pardon had cost you. Granted at the time you weren't exactly thrilled to be forking over such a large amount for a ruffian, but you’d considered the investment and decided it was well worth parting with a few coins.
Johnny could have rivaled your father with how much he masterfully emulated that reproachful countenance that only someone who’d been half responsible for your existence could have managed. You’d been on the wrong end of that look enough times to know there was a lecture coming on you’d rather not have. “Hen–”
“Sooo, Mr. MacTavish,” you smoothly interrupted with a smile of perfectly faked innocence, “when you’re not incarcerated for bashing in the skulls of brigands and ne’er do wells, what have you been up to since leaving the service?”
He held your gaze for a few moments longer, immune to your batted eyelashes until he looked away with a huffed out sigh, relenting as he must’ve come to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth the oxygen.
“Ye weren’t too far from the truth when ye told the warden ah was a treasure hunter. Sometimes ah spend mah days scroungin’ through desolate areas in search of valuable commodities, others ah sell myself out fer hire doin’ mercenary work. Not the most excitin’ occupation dependin’ on the job, but it pays good coin.”
“Hard to believe you didn’t stick around with the military.” Kyle had mentioned that by the time he’d retired that Johnny still hadn’t, but that was years ago now.
“Well ah stayed with it far past mah initial recruitment contract. Only been out a wee bit longer than two years this October. Earned myself quite a bit o’ chest candy fer mah troubles.” Considering he’d joined up the same time Kyle did, that meant almost ten years fighting in His Majesty’s army. “In truth, ah didnae mind the bloodshed; ah was the best at what ah did and took pride in mah ability ta complete the missions too dangerous fer others tae endure. But when the people I was loyal tae stopped bein’ loyal ta me...”
The clench of his jaw, the ice in his veins bleeding into the blue of his eyes; you could only guess what happened to make a decorated war hero and career soldier jump ship.
Glancing down at his hand, you could see the way it white knuckled around the fragile pencil, almost anticipating a snap that you were surprised somehow never came. Even when he was blistering from whatever wrongdoings the bigwigs at the top had done to cause offense, he was still aware of and in control of his own strength.
“That’s how ah ken the city is real, lass.” He spoke up shortly after. “Because mah commandin’ officers sent me there tae die with the rest of mah squadron over pipe dreams o’ golden halls and buried treasure. But when we got there… all we found was sand and blood.”
There's a stillness as the words settle in your bones, a warning of events yet to come. But thankfully it doesn't last as he blinks away the shadows of bygone times, half turning around to fiddle with the bag he’d been using to rest his back against.
“That reminds me,” Johnny perks up as he rummages around in one of the pockets of his rucksack, his previous frosty disposition left in the past and giving you a case of emotional whiplash. 
“Found this,” you barely managed to catch the small object he sent flying your way, fumbling it before securing it in your grasp, “amongst my stuff. Garrick must've pinched it for ya before jumpin’ overboard.”
Your attention turned to the thing clasped in your hold, letting out a jubilant shriek of delight that rustled your cousin but who otherwise remained at rest. Turning it over in your hands, you couldn’t believe you were somehow reunited with the ancient metal box that you were sure you’d lost to the river. You practically sobbed in relief as you hugged it to your chest as if it were a beloved stuffed animal, completely ignoring the amused (slightly judgemental) regard coming from your travel companion.
“Now Dr. Price doesn’t have to carve out my entrails and feed them to the Nile!” You cheered with bright eyes and an elated smile, making quick work stuffing the box in with your other belongings. For a moment it appeared like Johnny was wanting to question just what exactly you meant by that proclamation, but thought better of it as he returned to his scribblings, merely shaking his head with something muttered under his breath.
“Best ye try tae get back ta sleep, hen. I ken we’re not doin’ much, but the desert has a way o’ sappin’ yer energy and ye’ll be comfier noddin’ off ‘ere than on the back of a camel.”
That you didn’t doubt, practically feeling the crick in your neck already at the image that conjured up.
“Alright, be that way.” You rolled your eyes with a teasing huff. ”I know a dismissal when I’ve heard one...”
Johnny gave you one more glance with a quirked lip at your cheekiness, something soft around the edges hidden within his sight. “G’night, hen...”
Giving him another smile, you situated yourself back on your sleeping mat so as to be laying on your right side facing the fire. The glow wasn’t too harsh on your eyes, and truthfully it also gave you the excuse to glance over at your companion every once in a while. You knew he had one ear open while he worked, keenly aware of his surroundings as he kept guard over your small group. If the previous night was anything to go by, he’d be waking up Kyle in a few hours to take over sentinel duty so that he could get some rest as well. 
Hearing the charcoal gently scrape across the parchment as he engrossed himself in whatever his project was, your eyelids grew heavy as you allowed the ambiance of his scribblings to lull you into the pleasant hum of unconsciousness.
The next morning brought with it a change of atmosphere within the group.
Where formerly you had only actively engaged with your cousin over breakfast, that was no longer the case, giving Johnny a small tentative smile as if you were still unsure that last night's interaction had properly smoothed out the wrinkles between the pair of you. Your fears were abated when he returned it enthusiastically, tossing you a wink for good measure that had you feeling giddy at the playful gesture.
Unaware of your previous heart to heart, Kyle glanced between the two of you in befuddlement to a question that went unanswered. You merely greeted your cousin with a peck on the cheek and a lasting hug you didn’t care to explain, remembering Johnny’s words only hours ago at just how much he’d been caring for you to a degree beyond what you’d ever realized.
Falling into step with Johnny felt just as innate as it was with Kyle, years of getting to know one another condensed into a single conversation. 
Admittedly it had thrown you off to hear him speak so candidly about your history the night before. It was odd listening to him recite the stories better than you remembered them, the unfiltered truth about your personality that you’d never suspected. But you ultimately ended up not minding his thorough knowledge of your life (god knows what else your cousin told him that he didn’t mention). If your youthful recollections granted him with any small measure of escape from the dark claustrophobic trenches day in and day out then you were honored it had been your picture that had provided him with a little comforting light.
Touching was something you were still adjusting to though; the small casual hand on your lower back as Johnny scooted around you to tend to the camels. A lot of that had to do with the fact that it only made it harder to tamper down the slightly inappropriate thoughts that began to spring up as of late. It was easier to be physically attracted to a man you disliked. There wasn’t any risk of actually falling for him because you knew in the end that he was too much of a prick for there to be any real connection. A handsome face was all he’d ever be and that had been reassuring.
Which made it a bit unfair that he’d ended up being a really. great. guy. 
Did he have a bit of a temper? Sure. But so far you’d only heard of it being directed towards people who deserved it. How could you be upset that he’d put a man in the hospital for trying to hurt an innocent woman? You didn’t gravitate towards violence, but you certainly were familiar with it when your cousin would come home with a disheveled appearance and bloody knuckles. 
Looks, charisma, hard working, intelligent, dedicated. They might as well have wrapped him in a bow and placed him on your doorstep on Christmas Eve. If you would’ve had any female companions to gossip with on this pilgrimage then one John MacTavish would have been the only topic of any interest.
Still, you did your best not to pay any heed to the swirling vortex of bad decisions clouding your brain. You weren’t some cheap harlot falling at the feet of any ol’ fella who was hungry enough to rake his eyes over you. This wasn’t a tropical vacation; this was work. Dangerous, harrowing work. And Johnny was both your guide and your cousin's best friend. Not to mention you were familiar with his type from hours being paraded in front of society's elite. 
You’d attended balls and soirees full of the opposite sex all hunting for a prize to bring home and breed to carry on their legacies. A few well placed compliments and they’d be racing you down the aisle of holy matrimony. 
Johnny was certainly just another heartbreaker through and through - a game you would not let yourself be swept up in no matter how tempting the reward.
It was easier to be distracted from your thoughts once you involved yourself in the discussions taking place amongst the group, far more interested in joining in now that your reservations had been proven false. It was all easy smiles and shared laughter as you slowly began to grow endeared to the Scot the more he carried on. 
You were delighted to discover he had two younger sisters and a large extended family that he was exceptionally close with. He didn’t speak of his siblings with complaint either, only true fondness as he recounted how much he’d looked after them as the protective older brother. Johnny’s smile turned melancholic as he confessed to how much he missed them, but it softened up when he brought up the extensive collection of postcards he was constantly sending back home. He couldn’t always receive letters when his life continuously had him on the go, but with that at least he could still feel connected to his family even if they were thousands of miles away.
Johnny happily regaled you with tales of his old life back in Scotland as a ‘wee lad’. Helping out around his grandfather’s farm during the summers. His favorite home cooked meals. The local ceilidh’s with lively music and lovely lasses. An incident with law enforcement he was sworn to secrecy on for another eight years.
Each new revelation had you drawn ever more into his orbit, interested in the minute details of his life as opposed to the grand schemes he’d fall into with Kyle. They might have been mundane in comparison, but in your opinion they were vastly more important. Anyone could be an adrenaline junkie with a death wish and ambitions, but who they were in the slower quieter parts of life was more telling of their true nature. 
Of course it wasn’t all just pleasant strolls down memory lane. One can always trust that boys will be boys after all. To break up the long stretches of conversation, the pair of them took to engaging in a friendly competition to see who had the worst jokes imaginable. Apparently this had become a favored pastime back in Verdun amongst the soldiers.
 Each attempt had you burying your face in your hands. If you didn’t want to have to go back and fetch it afterwards you would be throwing things at their heads by now. 
So it came as no surprise when at some point a crude joke was told by your cousin comparing a woman to a camel. Honestly you were more shocked it had taken this long.
“How can you tell the difference between a woman’s mouth and a camel’s?” The accompanying groan was actually not from you this time.
“Come now, Garrick. No desert puns. I thought we’d agreed that–”
“Only one of them swallows.”
Two dumbstruck heads immediately whipped in your direction, faces aghast as the illusion of chasteness melted away from their preconceived notions of their female companion. The shock was short lived however as the three of you fell into the most uncontrollable fit of laughter, howling and convulsing atop your mounts.
Kyle looked like he was trying to claw the mental image your words conjured up from his brain. “Bloody hell, dolly! I didn’t need to hear that from my cousin!”
“A lady indeed!” Came Johnny's reply, both of them struggling for air as you unexpectedly proved to them there was more to you than appearances would suggest. 
You caught Johnny’s gaze as you wiped the tears from your eyes, a glimmer of approval in those sparkling sapphires that threatened to take your breath away all over again. Above all you had been rewarded with his unbridled joy and infectious laughter.
It was a sound you were quickly falling in love with. 
Partway through the day, you had the unfortunate luck of finding yourselves headed towards a massive wall of brown in the distance, towering over the landscape like a rogue wave. One glance at your guide told you everything you needed to know in the stern set of his brows and hard neutral expression.
You were delving right into the heart of it.
You weren’t a stranger to sand storms, but you couldn’t say you had the pleasure of experiencing one out in an area that had no hope of shelter in which to ride it out. Your steed must have sensed the unease that gripped your emotions, starting to shuffle underneath you in distress that had a shocked gasp leave your mouth at the abruptness of his jostling. Kyle was quick to grasp your reins, making calm soothing sounds to the animal as you ran a hand along its neck with a soft ‘settle’.
When the words were finally spoken aloud that there was indeed no avoiding it, you pulled the dark piece of cloth out of one of your travel bags that the older Bedouin woman from the village had given you in case of such an event. Your hands made deft work of wrapping it around your head, securing it in the way you’d been shown to conceal most of your face. The other two did much the same, waiting for you all to finish getting settled before glancing over with a firm nod as you ushered the beasts forward towards the imposing storm in the distance.
You’d onced asked your father as you listened to one raging outside and rattling the shutters on your home just how strong he thought the winds were, wide eyed as he explained they could move as fast as a train could ride. You felt every bit of that power now.
As much as you mentally braced yourself for the experience, the physicality of the storm was quick to erode your steeled nerves. Gale force winds whipped and battered your body, your knuckles white and painful from where you gripped the pommel of the saddle to keep from falling off your steed. The miniscule grains of sand stung the small uncovered portion of your face, abrasive and irritating to the skin as you tried your best to shield your vision. 
It was as unpleasant as you predicted, trusting your camel to follow along after Johnny’s when it became too much to keep your eyes open. The beasts were more than capable of braving it, blazing through unencumbered by the shifting sands even if only at a slightly slower pace. Your care was in their charge now.
You hadn’t put much faith in the gods of old, but in that moment you found yourself praying to Seth that he would calm his fury and let his storm pass swiftly. Not like it could hurt if you were wrong…
You jerked in your saddle as partway through a firm hand grasped at the meat of your bicep, head flying up to see your cousin peering at you through his own face coverings as he pointed off to the side, barely able to make out something in the distance that he led your camel away towards. Johnny was already dismounting from his own, crowding behind what you realized was a grouping of sandstone pillars that you’d never been more grateful to see. 
Kyle helped you off your camel, Johnny already holding up a blanket and ushering you under as they each grasped an end, throwing it over the three of you huddled together and holding tight to keep it from being swept away into the desert. You all were winded from the exertion, Kyle mumbling something about needing a bloody break as you sat squished in between them, leaned back against the rock as you untensed. There was no way of telling how long the storm lasted or how far you’d trekked, but your limbs were sore and stiff from remaining clenched throughout the endeavor. 
Thankfully Johnny had better insight than you did, motioning at the waterskin he’d fetched ahead of time that you plucked off his person. Uncapping it, you didn’t think twice before bringing the opening to his lips, watching as he tilted his head back to allow the cool liquid inside to flow down his parched throat, doing the same to Kyle shortly after. You might not have been able to help hold down the fort so to speak, but you could certainly take care of them while they protected you. 
You didn't know how long you remained like that, sharing the waterskin between you three and ignoring the mildly darkened look in Johnny’s eyes every time you accidentally made eye contact while helping him drink, leaving your stomach feeling warmed. How a man could be so intense even in a situation such as this was beyond your understanding.
Nature finally took pity on you later on in the day nearing sunset, feeling the gusts lessen enough to at last push the covering off which had become weighed down by the sand that accumulated during that time. The camels looked just as unbothered as you left them, laying down nearby as you all finally got to stand at full height for the first time in what felt like ages. 
There was brief talk about what to do next as Johnny corrected your course, having veered only slightly off the intended path. The sandstorm had caused you to be vastly behind, adding an extra day onto your travels that you couldn’t afford to waste. Thankfully - as Kyle pointed out - your transport had been able to rest for quite some time and should be able to carry on through the night in an effort to reach the city sooner. You weren’t exactly thrilled with the idea of having to sleep on the back of a camel tonight, but you weren’t going to argue over the sentiment when it made so much rational sense.
‘The life of an adventurer’, aye?
Whoever signed up for this life must’ve had a certain level of masochism ingrained in their psyche - you decided - in order to better deal with the curveballs and minor inconveniences that came from it. Food was eaten on the backs of your mounts that evening, an uncomfortable annoyance resulting in having nearly choked on your rations as the rocking motion of the camel had you swallowing wrong and sending you into a minor coughing fit. You took smaller bites after that, opting to have a little less than normal to balance out the risk of it happening again.
Sleeping was only a mildly better affair. You’d fallen asleep sitting upright in a high backed chair enough to know you’d be feeling it in the morning - especially considering there was nothing to support your figure as you bobbed along. Slipping in and out of a restless slumber, you were vaguely conscious of your surroundings; the gentle clomping of footfalls from the great beasts hauling you into the night, the even breaths of your companions, the soft whistle of wind throughout the valley.
At some point in your groggy state, you could've sworn your head ended up cradled by something firm yet comfortable underneath your cheek, the phantom sensation of thick fingers brushing over your strands relieving the tension in your bones. You went pliant under the calming ministrations, accompanied by gentle murmurings that you were unable to make out but sounded foreign to your ears.
You couldn’t tell if it was rooted in reality or simply a figment of the half dreamlike rest that overtook you at some point. All you knew was that waking up the next morning wasn’t as horrendous an ordeal as you’d anticipated, the joints in your neck much less creaky than if you’d have dozed off holding a book in your bedroom. 
The desert was still bathed in the cool tones of the blossoming morning when your cousin nudged you awake, a hand on your shoulder to steady you as you blinked your eyes open with a yawn. A small bundle of breakfast was already being placed into your hands before you could acknowledge it, along with instructions to eat up quickly as you were almost at your destination. 
That woke you up more than anything, practically shoveling the meager bits of food in your mouth much to the amusement of the others. You’d come all this way for this moment - enduring hardship and near death experiences - but it was all about to be worth it to be one of the first people to step foot into a long lost piece of ancient civilization in over three thousand years! 
What if it wasn’t everything you ever dreamed of? What if the image you’d conjured in your head didn’t live up to the expectations and grandeur promised of a city as important as Hamunaptra? Your insides were twisted, the sweat on your brow having nothing to do with the climate. Nerves were dialed up to a thousand as you busied yourself with readying for the last leg of your journey.
Come hell or high water: this was it.
It took maybe another fifteen minutes further ride west before you were led down into a wide valley, becoming more anxious with every step. You weren’t allowed the peace to smother your concerns, though, as who should appear on the opposite side of the dunes than those you had last seen on the other side of the Nile.
You finally got your first look at the man they called Graves, picking him out from the rest as someone you hadn’t noticed in the mess hall on the ferry and as the one currently leading their group. By all accounts he looked a simple man; a short neatly styled haircut, a light blue button up cuffed at the elbows, a faint scar slashed across his right cheek the only hint that he’d had a life that wasn’t quite so white collared.
“MacTavish, Garrick.” A thick Texan accent rolled off his tongue with all the charm of a rattlesnake. “Ma’am.”
You were used to fake niceties, but even this man had something slithering underneath the skin that rubbed you the wrong way.
“Seems like you folks all found your way here without any issue. Even went a little native by the looks of things.” There wasn’t anything thinly veiled in the slightest as he took in your appearance, squirming uncomfortably in your seat at the implied racism despite the company he himself kept. Then again, they were all hired hands. If ‘folk like him’ ran cheaper you were sure he’d be using them instead.
Kyle flashed him a sneer so vicious you were sure he was about to drop down off his mount and give that man one hell of a beating. It also didn’t escape your notice how Johnny brought his camel up a few paces, hiding you from view of the others with an obvious glower of contempt sent their way. You almost wished Graves would attempt something just so you could see what Johnny looked like when he was ‘re-learning manners’. 
But it seemed like neither of them thought it was worth the effort to respond to the instigated heckling. 
A large gap in the middle separated the two factions as you all lined up facing the east. Where your group had camels, they all had horses. You were briefly jealous of the fact, but realistically you had no complaints about your own steed as you reached down to give it an affection scratch on its head.
Moments passed with no movement from anyone.
“So we just gonna sit here like morons till the sun comes up or somethin’?” The question came from one of the Americans who’d played poker with Kyle back on the deck of the ferry. ‘Hutch’ if you recalled correctly. Certainly didn’t seem to have much in the way of patience, a sentiment echoed by his compatriot.
“Just settle down, pal.” Graves placated his teammate with a slightly raised hand. “I guarantee you it’s well worth the wait.” 
“Friendly reminder, gents.” It was the woman - Roze - who spoke up this time with a cocky grin. “Got a hundred bucks cash on the line. Lookin’ forward to having my pockets filled with English coin.”
Your cousin clearly hadn’t forgotten, patting his pockets in a ‘come and get it’ gesture that had the four cowboys chuckling in response.
“Get ready fer it.” Came the voice of your Scottish companion to the right, your eyes flicking between where his own were focused on the desolate landscape before you and his awaiting expression.
“For what?” you inquired.
“We’re ‘bout tae be shown the way.”
You ignored the mildly ominous undertone in Johnny’s words, turning your attention back to the view the same as the thirty or so of you gathered together.
Navy skies turned from amethyst to crimson and light sienna, the large golden sun rising up over the horizon as Ra began his day’s journey across the sky in his Mandjet Barque. Everyone on both sides sat in bated breath as it climbed ever higher, waiting for something that none of you outside your guides understood.
Scanning the flat lands to the northeast, you couldn’t possibly see how anything could be revealed when there were no shadows on the ground to hide something as large as that of a city. You had just begun to open your mouth to make some sort of comment implying the dubiousness surrounding this whole–
Wait.
…what?!
You blinked your eyes multiple times to be sure of what you were seeing, going beyond all reasonable explanation that your mind conjured up. Emerging like a ghost out in the valley, the shimmering visage of a once great realm slowly unveiled to the shock of those who bore witness. There it was - beyond all reasonable doubt. One could mistake it for a convincing mirage if it wasn’t for the way it solidified in front of you. If that wasn’t enough, you trusted your companion to have not steered you wrong. If Johnny didn’t think he was hallucinating then neither were you.
Heart pounding in your chest, blood rushing through your ears. You were positively breathless, only vaguely aware of Kyle to the left slapping at your arm in slack jawed stunned astonishment. It was comforting to know you weren’t the only one losing your mind at the moment.
All around you could hear everyone else's startled gasps, hushed voices speaking up in awe at the wonders held before their eyes. 
“There it is!” 
“I don’t believe it.”
“Well I’ll be...”
“The legends were true!”
“Hamunaptra.”
“‘Ere we go again.” The last comment came from Johnny, a weary sigh of resignation as he found himself once again in the presence of this place. 
It amazed you how much you found yourself not giving a damn about that, selfishly uncaring to his emotions right now as you were too busy trying to keep up with the influx of your own. All those times being mocked or looked down on for daring to believe in childlike wonderment that some legends were too real to be fake were finally proven wrong. There it was as plain as daylight, holding all the mysteries of the New Kingdom if you only reached out with your fingertips and touched it.
All it took was a single shout before all hell broke loose, the men’s thoughts turning from ones full of veneration to their jangling coin purses. It startled you out of your reverie. The calls and whipping noises from the fellows across the way urging their steeds forward had your own reacting instinctively, joined by Johnny and Kyle as you found yourselves racing across the vast stretch of desert - you to claim the site first, the men to win their wager.
The speed of the animal surprised you, having grown up seeing the creatures lumbering through the city hauling goods and occasionally people. But Cairo was full of tight corners and bustling streets. This was the Sahara - wide open and free from any obstacles that could keep it from achieving its full potential. Plenty of room for a camel to catch its stride.
You’d never endured a bumpier ride. 
What confused you the most was the fact that your own mount was apparently a cut above the rest, keeping pace with Johnny and Kyle as well as a small handful of horses on the other team. It breezed across the compacted sand, drawing whoops and hollers as you urged it forward. You’d put a horse at full gallop before, but this had an air of exhilaration that could only come with the heart racing promise of awaiting adventure.
Slowly but surely the others fell back from their positions until Grave’s was the only one of the rival group remaining as competition. It was clear his horse was quickly wearing out despite how brutally he whipped the creature's hide. Once he came to the same realization you did, he did the only thing a weak man knew how to do: resorting to cheap tricks.
You startled as suddenly he turned his beating cane on your own beast, making you lurch forward as the camel groaned in pain and tripped over its own legs. 
“Nothin’ personal, sweetheart!” He bellowed over at you as he took another swipe.
Unfortunately for him, both Johnny and Kyle were not about to allow his actions to go unpunished.
They took the opportunity when you steered your camel away in an effort to escape the beatings, coming up alongside his horse and boxing him in. Johnny grappled the reins from Graves’ hold, Kyle wrapping his blue neckerchief around Grave’s throat as he tried to fight off their combined hostilities. The pair shared a look as they both tugged on their objectives at the same time, Johnny yanking the horse right out from under him as Kyle choked him off the saddle, sacrificing his own place as he let you and Johnny speed off in his stead.
You dared a glance over at Johnny, the most wicked grin of devilish intentions on his face as he mirrored your excitement with his own, dropping the horse's reins and calling for more speed from his own animal. But you weren’t about to let him beat you that easily, not when you had every confidence in your own ability as a rider! 
It was just the two of you now - neck and neck battling it out for bragging rights. It didn’t matter at this point who won; you’d all come out victorious in the wager either way. This was just two individuals pushing each other to the limit, hearts pounding from more than just the thrill of the race as you both had trouble peeling your eyes away from the other. 
The wind in your hair; the untamed wilderness consuming your spirit. This was what you’d been missing in your life - this thing that a dangerous man like Johnny could offer you.
You weren’t prepared as he reached across the space between and landed a heavy handed slap right to the back of your mount, the beast crying out as it surged forward at an unprecedented pace. You could only hold on tight, shrieking in a mixture of surprise and elation, hearing your cousin in the distance cheering you on as you approached the looming structure.
There were no words as you made it to your destination, coasting past the massive stone obelisks at the mouth of the entrance with the biggest smile, galloping down the thoroughfare and between the crumbled ruined gates of the city.
Finally, had you arrived. The lost sacred City of the Dead.
Hamunaptra.
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amiti-art · 2 years ago
Text
TSATS SPOILERS
Okay, so I finished the book and I have a question: where tf is Apollo?????
I get that he couldn't go on a quest with them, he said so at the end of ToN but why doesn't he appear at camp at the end of the book? Or at least visit Will in a dream? Hades did that for Nico.
Also at the beginning it's said that Rachel spoke the same prophecy like 12 times. Apollo is literally the god of prophecies, why isn't he doing anything about it? (Unless Rachel first went to him and he told her to go with this to Nico and Will and asked her not to tell them that he sent her. Idk just an idea).
Personaly I don't have a problem with Will thinking that he might not see Apollo in years or even ever again, because well, it's not presented as fact, it's what Will thinks. And it fits with his fear of abandonment that we can see later in the book. If he has moments when he thinks that his boyfried could leave him behind in the Tartarus or the Underworld then I can easily belive that he thinks that his dad wouldn't bother with visits now when he's a god again.
But that's exacly why Apollo visiting at the end, to give Will comfort after a dengerous quest, would be perfect. It would prove that Will's assumptions were wrong. (I'm just gonna pretend that this is what happened the next day 🙃)
This book has a problem with mentioning important characters in general. Like where are Jerry, Gracie and Yan, you know, Will's new siblings? What was the point of introducing them if their existence is never acknowledged? Austin and Kayla are never mention during the quest itself, they just go home and Will and Nico never think or talk about them. And Hazel, the only alive sibling Nico has, is mationed like once I think???
So it's not that Apollo is the only victim of narration here, but he it the most noticible one because 1) he was a main character in the previous books. 2) he's name is constantly mantion in reference to Will: 'son of Apollo said this' 'son of Apollo did that' and so on. And maybe it's just me, but did anyone else noticed that Will is refered like this a bit too often? Like Nico is somtimes called "Son of Hades" by narration but not near as often as Will is called his father's son, especialy in the later in the story. Like at some point I had a feeling that the book was literally screaming at me "Hey remember Will's dad? This guy named Apollo? Yeah we know he's not in this book, but don't forget about him! He's still important we swear". Anyone else noticed this? Maybe I'm just being delusional but I swear they were doing this for a reason.
I don't know what are Rick's plan for the future, maybe there will be an explanation on why Apollo was so ignored by this book. Maybe he was super busy with something, or maybe he feard that if he intervenes he would bring Zeus' attention to Will and Nico and tbh we don't know how Zeus feels about quest to Tartarus, especialy if the said quest involves saving a titan (because let's be honest, Zeus probably dosen't like the idea of bringing a titan out of Tartarus).
Or maybe Apollo's planing a revolutuon to take his tyrannical father down, who knows.
Sorry if this is a bit messy, I normally don't write analasys/observations but I wanted to get this of my chest (also English is my 2nd language so sorry for all the mistakes)
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