#i just really love the way his voice drops in that song okay. never fails 10/10 all the times

[stygeanbluebasilsprout]

They said that the best way to get better at art is to being obsessed with something and abandon all shame and i mean i’ll do it. I’m doing it. But christ alive why the old film music guy

[eternalsunrise]

when in france

nfl! joe burrow x fem! reader

wc: 3.1k

tags! established relationship, college sweethearts (because i said so), 💍 hint hint, no smut!

notes! abby try not to write sickening fluff challenge failed horribly. i keep going back and forth about whether i like or not but i hope you guys do! mwah 💋

when joe told you he���d be attending and modeling for fashion week, you were ecstatic. you’ve been encouraging him to step out of his comfort zone, and it seemed like he was finally listening during this offseason.

when he told you the event was in france, you were even more stunned. you were so excited for him. there was no one more deserving of these opportunities than your joe.

and when he asked you to accompany him, you were absolutely floored. sure you knew he loved you. you’ve felt it every day for years. but an experience like this, you were so grateful he’d even consider sharing this with you.

“are you sure? really babe it’s okay, i won’t be upset.” you had reassured him the day he found out about the opportunity.

joe just looked at you like you had three heads over his dinner, his fork clattering as he dropped it onto the plate. he reaches his arm across the table and clasps your hand with his, “hey. don’t be silly. you’re my girl. there’s no one, and i mean no one, i’d rather do this with.”

there’s something about joe’s soft, steady voice that always reassures you in the way he knows you need. he places a delicate kiss to the back of your knuckles. you don’t worry about it again.

your time in france is an absolute whirlwind. joe had warned you that his schedule was pretty packed, but you didn’t mind. after all, you’ve grown used to the hustle bustle of football season. nothing like the fast life. dinners, meetings, panels, runways, and parties. you’re supporting joe through it all, and he notices. hell, everyone notices.

the first dinner you all have together is after a runway show in cannes.

you’re chatting with a woman sitting next to you, laughing and sipping a glass of white wine. joe is on the other side of you, catching up with JJ and some of the other guys. of course the topic has reverted back to football, hard to avoid with those two at the table together. JJ and another friend are in a heated discussion about the rules surrounding taunting when the food arrives.

when the plates hit the table, joe watches your actions from the corner of his eye. you pick at your side choice, before putting the smallest bite into your mouth. reaction almost immediate, you turn to joe with a grimace that he knows all too well.

he clicks his tongue, shaking his head back and forth as he begins to eat his own meal, “i told you. i knew you wouldn’t like them cooked that way.”

you did this every time the two of you had dinner somewhere new. you like to order something you’d usually never try on the menu, in hopes of enjoying it. and joe, who knows you better than anyone, always warns you against it. then every single time, you flash him an adorable smile and say the same thing, “well, when in___”

this started when he brought you to ohio for the first time. the two of you were having lunch in cincy before heading to athens to meet his parents. you inquired about ‘cincinnati chili’, to which joe explained and confessed that even he didn’t enjoy chili served over spaghetti. but you had said “well, when in cincinnati!” with such excitement, that he didn’t have the heart to argue further.

the hometown specialty almost made you puke all over his childhood bedroom hours later. flash forward some years and the song and dance was still the same.

you shake your head, trying to lie. you’re stubborn. the last thing you want to do is admit he was right about this…again.

you attempt another bite, poking the food around your white, porcelain plate. “it’s not that bad joey…i kinda like it…”

you’re lying through your teeth. joe knows. he always does. the man has been reading you like a playbook since college.

so with a sigh he picks up both of your plates, making easy work of switching them. this is also a reoccurring affair. joe always orders something he knows you’ll enjoy, pretty much expecting you not to like your exotic choices. he never tells you this of course. but he’s not picky, so no harm no foul.

you frown down at your new dinner, as much as it looks delicious, you feel bad taking your boyfriend’s food. “no joey you don’t have to do that. i’ll eat it i swear!”

joe just gives you an affectionate eye roll, tapping your thigh a few times under the table, “eat baby.” he gently commands, picking up a fork and beginning to eat your rejected meal. his hand lingers, and you intertwine it with yours, leaning over and placing a sweet kiss on his cheek. you murmur a thank you against his skin, joe hums in response.

unbeknownst to you both, the people across from you were tuned in to the entire exhange. sharing amused glances with JJ, who just shrugs, “they’ve always been like this.”

the two of you resume eating, when the man across from joe speaks up in an amused tone, “so how long?”

joe looks up, confusion written on his face, “excuse me?” he swallows a bite and decides you’re right. this isn’t good at all, but he’s gonna eat every bite.

the man chuckles, sipping his drink. “sorry i didn’t mean to pry. it’s just, you two remind me of me and my wife early on in our marriage. i just assumed you must be newlyweds.”

the words catch your attention and your eyes turn into saucers. newlyweds? did the two of you really act married? the idea of being joe’s for life, officially; your stomach twists in lovesick knots. sure you’ve definitely thought about it. after all, you’ve been by his side for almost 5 years now. but you didn’t know where joe stood when it came to life long commitment. the idea that he might not want that with you, is sorta frightening. you don’t have time to overthink it though, a couple of ladies pulling you back into busy conversation.

justin gives joe a knowing smirk. he holds a hand up and wiggles his fingers, pretending he’s wearing a ring. an action he used to do back when joe would ditch them to hang out with you after lsu practices.

you’re so preoccupied you don’t notice joe’s hand playing with yours a little later into the meal. he takes one of your daily rings off of your index finger, slipping it onto the special one next to your pinky. he twirls it around a couple times, smiling fondly.

the rest of your days abroad pass in pictures of time. you and joe eating croissants early in the morning. sneaking kisses in your hotels elevator. joe asking if he had anything in his teeth before walking in a backless suit.

“were you planning on smiling on the runway babe?” you teased.

joe just shrugs, “maybe. it’s hard not to when i know you’re watching me.”

before you know it, it’s the vogue world after party, marking your last night before returning to the states. the night is lots of fun, full of mingling and laughter. although…there’s something up with your boyfriend. you’re not sure what, but he seems almost anxious. it’s usually out of joe’s character to be antsy, they call him joe cool for a reason. he’s been fidgety, bouncing his knee up and down every time the two of you were sitting. he’s quiet, but still sweet to you in a way that’s reassuring you that he’s okay. you blame his odd behavior on exhaustion, or maybe his social battery draining. maybe even the strobe lights are giving him a headache, which is bittersweet because they make his blues shine so well.

it’s well past midnight, and you’re sitting on joe’s lap wearing a black dress that compliments his outfit. you’re chatting with some people while

your boyfriend sits silently. you have no idea, but his mind is running a mile a second. one of his hands is wrapped around your waist, the other twirling stands of your hair that sit against the back of your dress. his heart thumps against his chest as he uses his leverage against you to raise himself up. he takes a deep breath, and leans his body forward to reach your ear. “you wanna get out of here?” deep voice rumbles from his chest and tickles your ear. it makes a shiver run up your spine.

you turn your head to look behind you, your noses are almost touching this way. the loose curl sitting against his forehead is begging you to brush it away. you resist the urge.

“sure babe, if you’re ready?”

joe looks at you with a look so full of adoration you think you might melt. he presses a quick kiss to your lips, “i’m ready. i already called the car.”

paris is stunning late at night, lights twinkling across the city. joe watches you stare out the cab window. he looks at you the way he has all night, full of love and an indescribable devotion. you’re so mesmerized by the landscape you don’t even notice you’ve passed your hotel until joe clears his throat.

your eyebrows furrow in confusion when joe turns your head to face him. “do you trust me?” the question is serious, but his voice is kind of rocky. like he’s nervous. but what for?

you nod your head with a laugh, “of course joey. why?”

joe smiles and deflects from the question. “alright. close your eyes for me then.”

now you’re really confused. you tilt your head at him, watching as the smile remains on his face. he’s really waiting on you to close your eyes. well, you choose to honor you words, closing your eyes tightly. you’re guessing a surprise is in store.

you feel the car slow to a stop. your hands drum on your lap, anticipation building in your gut.

joe places a hand on your thigh. “don’t get out yet, i’ll come around and get you.”

you nod your head, eyes still clenched to prove your honesty. you hear a car door shut and footsteps coming closer.

joe takes a deep breath, crisp night air filling his lungs. a shaky hand grips your car door, pulling it open.

you hear joe thank the driver, before he gently takes hold of your hands. he guides you to stand and step out of the car. you hear the cab drive away and your heart thumping in your ears.

the warmth of joe’s hands covers your eyes, making you laugh. whatever this surprise is, joe’s pretty adamant in not wanting you to spoil it.

you begin walking forward at joes command. “we almost there?”

you feel your body turn to the right, and suddenly the presence of his hands disappears.

“alright. open em’” he backs away from you, hands shoved into black pants.

you open your eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the lights blinking all over the place. you gasp at what’s in front of you, your eyes trailing upwards. “joe…you…”

he grants you a chuckle, eyes crinkling in the way you adored. “you didn’t think we’d leave before i let you see the eiffel tower did you?”

you just stare at the beautiful structure in front of you, trying to convince yourself it was real. there’s something so breathtaking about being in front of something you’ve only seen in photos.

joe is staring at you with the same fascination that you’re giving a wonder of the world. 5 years and you still make the confidence flee from him. you take his breath away simply by being well, you. he’s been a nervous wreck all day. but staring at you right now, in the middle of paris. he’s never been so sure of anything.

you’re rubbing your bare arms, but the cold isn’t even bothering you.

that doesn’t matter to joe. he slips his charcoal jacket off, draping it over your shoulders. you feel strong arms around you, a comfortable warmth covering you. joe rests his chin on your shoulder, turning and placing a few kisses on your cheek. his nose cold against your skin, but you still welcome the contact.

a content sigh escapes you, “it’s so stunning, isn’t it? there’s something so romantic about it.”

joe nods, but to be honest he’s barely even glanced at the tower. he calls your name, his voice cracking is like a bullet shooting through his ego.

you turn to face him, a grin on your face. “i know i keep saying it but thank you. thank you so much for bringing me here.”

joe’s response doesn’t miss a beat, “i’d take you anywhere. i want to take you everywhere, show you the world. that’s what you deserve.”

the sincerity of his words coupled with the setting make your heart soar. suddenly he unravels himself from you. you turn around to face him confused. you open your mouth to question him but he interrupts you by grabbing your hands, squeezing them with his own.

“i love you. i’ve loved you for 5 years and somehow i still love you more each day. you’re the best part of me. you make me a better man, and i wanna be that man for you, always.” joe’s voice is strained as if he’s getting emotional. it’s so rare to see from him. the fact that he’s getting choked up over you. his love for you nonetheless, you feel your own throat tighten. you feel your eyes well up with tears. joe brings your intertwined hands to rest against his chest, his heart pounding in a way he’s sure you feel. the night air sweeps his hair around, that single curl waving at you.

“the first time i thought you to ohio, i saw howmuch my family loved you…and i realized something.”

that was only 6 months into your relationship. a spring break in march that joe wanted to spend with his family. he asked you to tag along and although you were petrified, you agreed. you’ve never felt nervous around his family after that, quite the opposite actually.

suddenly joe steps back from you, a hand reaching into his pocket. the implication of what’s happening makes your mouth dry up. it’s like you’re frozen, just staring at him with wide eyes.

“i–i went out and got this as soon as we got back to baton rouge. i’ve held on to it all this time….and i brought it with me because i thought well, when in france. right?” joe tries his best to keep his voice steady, a nervous chuckle escaping him. and sure enough, a little black, velvet box appears in his hand.

a hand flies to your mouth, and you look around as if a camera crew is going to appear and tell you you’re being pranked. but alas, it’s just you, joe, and the eiffel tower.

“joe….” the tears are definitely flowing now, silently down your face. you couldn’t believe your eyes. this was really happening. right now. in paris at almost 2 in the morning.

you watch as joe gets down on one knee. he tries to tame his trembling hands as he opens the little box, but to no avail. the quarterback that is usually so collected, has crumbled down to mush that you hold in the palm of your hand.

joe perches the box in between his hands, early morning moonlight dances across the diamond ring.

he breathes your name like a prayer, “i meant what i said. i would want to do this. or anything, with anyone else. i want to be yours forever if you’ll have me. so angel, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

joe flashes you that boyish smile that you fell in love with all those years ago. it’s then that you realize it isn’t just joe kneeling before you.

it’s the handsome transfer student from ohio that asks you where bronson hall is. it’s the boy that invites you to watch him play football, and forgets to mention he’s the new star quarterback. it’s the guy your friends ask about when you’re blushing at brunch. it’s the teary eyed heisman trophy winner who thanks you in his speech. it’s the cincinnati bengal who trusts you decorate the new apartment you share together. it’s the guy that plays catch with your younger family members at thanksgiving. it’s your boyfriend that invited you to france. it’s your joe.

this is the easiest question you’ve ever been asked.

“yes. oh my fucking god! a million times yes!” you exclaim, heels clicking the pavement as you jump up and down a couple of times. you’re confused when you look down and see joe still kneeling below you, his grin rivaling the city lights. then you realize, you don’t have the ring on yet. “oh fuck which hand is it?!” your brain is so frazzled, you just stick both hands out toward him.

joe gently grabs your left hand, ring perfectly slipping onto your ring finger. he admires it for a moment and places a kiss on your knuckles.

he’s standing up straight for less than a second before you’re pouncing on him, throwing your arms around him. you pull his neck down toward you, crashing your lips together in a bruising kiss.

joe returns your affection quickly. hands find home holding your face, thumbs dusting away tears. this kiss is different than any you’ve had in the past. it’s a seal. a promise. a sign of your devotion to one another deepening after tonight.

the two of you stay like that for a moment. so caught up in one another. the anticipation of a lifetime together makes you feel as light as a feather.

the two of you break away with sharp inhales, crisp air filling your lungs. you remove your hands from his neck, instead grabbing his in your own and giving a laugh at their state, “babe. you’re shaking.”

joe nods, tongue darting out to lick his lips. he gives your hands a squeeze. “yeah well. good thing i got you to keep me steady.”

the ride back to the hotel is full of giggles and light touches. the ring on your finger is like a magnet to your eyes. you can’t look away, even as joe is extra affectionate; kissing all over your cheek and the side of your neck. you’re so full of love it feels hard to breathe.

“hey joey?”

your boyfriend fiancée pulls his head back to look you in the eyes, “yeah, pretty?”

you put your now ring clad hand on joe’s chest. he looks down at it with a smirk, before meeting your eyes once again.

“what do you think about that backless suit for the wedding?”

[pinkie-quinns]

rocker eddie/actor steve | exes to lovers | fame au p6 (final part)

p1 p2 p3 p4 p5 interlude

Steve thinks about second chances, as he walks along Greenwich Ave. He thinks about them when he tosses the wig in a garbage can that reeks of puke. 

And he thinks about them, when Eddie opens the door, eyes catching on the rip in Steve’s jeans, the liner under his eyes. When he lights up & says, “You came.”

Yeah, Steve thinks about second chances.

He offers Eddie a small smile as he walks in, can’t bring himself to acknowledge it all. The world of them. Him going. Eddie playing that song.  What that could mean, like, actually mean. Can’t do it yet.

He likes this place better than the mansion in LA. It’s messy and grungy with stupid, corny shit plastered on the walls. Feels more… Eddie.

They walk out to the balcony. It overlooks a tiny little green space, his neighbors’ homes. Eddie lights a cigarette and offers one to Steve. Steve quit years ago. Eddie knows that now. He takes it anyway. 

“Last tour I sold out Madison Square Garden and now I sell out Forest Hills.” Eddie’s chuckling, “Like I’m back at the trailer park.”

Eddie’s third album didn’t do the numbers his first two had. So they’d downsized, just a little.

Steve sighs, he didn’t fly all the way out here to coddle his ex, “It was a good show, Eddie.” 

“Yeah.” He drags, smiles to himself. “It was a really good show. I’m really glad you saw it, baby.”

Steve cringes, full body shiver. Eddie doesn’t seem to realize what he said, Steve’s sure as hell not gonna clue him in.

“How’d your meeting go?”

Steve tries to play it off. “Good. Pretty good.”

Eddie chuckles again, leans into him that way he always does, like personal space is more of a suggestion than a boundary. A hand brushes his cheek, a light, teasing tap of knuckles, “What’s pretty good, Harrington?”

Steve smiles into it. Can’t help it. “There’s uh… you know that blacklist script I mentioned last month? There’s probably a lead there for me.”

Eddie lights up again, bright and true, “Steve, that’s amazing.”

Steve snorts, “Not jealous?”

“Nah, I’m happy for you ba-” Eddie catches it this time, chokes on his drag, coughs and flounders, “Happy for you, man.” 

Steve’s not sure if he can do this, actually. Can’t face this Eddie. The one whose ego isn’t a storm cloud, who’s okay failing, who’s okay seeing him succeed. Who’s honest and sincere and wants the best for him. Eddie who would lose thousands of fans just to sing Steve’s favorite song. 

Eddie’s eyes are shiny, “But you’ve been good?”

“Yeah, yeah. Good. Keeping busy. I filmed an Amex commercial. Good money. Made my agents happy.” He’s rambling around it. He squints into the dark, drops it casually as he can muster. “I’m gonna start seeing that country singer, probably. The one with that Kansas song? Our people are setting something up.”

Eddie’s face falls, the sun out with a sentence. “What are we doing here, Harrington?”

Steve’s tone is bleary, sheepish, “What?”

“Been losing my mind this last month. Can’t stand not having you around. But you- you’re dating?”

It’s a shrug, it’s all he's got, “Sure.”

Eddie’s hunched, shoulders tight. He talks small. “You told me you loved me. Before you left.”

Steve huffs a breath. The air is cold. “C’mon. You were like, obliterating my brain with your dick. I say impulsive shit like that all the time.”

He doesn’t. They both know that. 

Eddie clicks his teeth, shakes a whisper. “Nah. You don’t.”

Steve falters, trips on his tongue. He finds his voice low and hoarse, he can barely say it, “Please don’t hold me to it.” 

Eddie won’t look him in the eye. He blinks up at the sky, “I love you. For the record. I um, I never stopped. Guess I’ve been pretty obvious about it.”

“Eddie, c’mon. Don’t do this. It’s not fair.”

“Date Dorothy.” His laugh is glacial. “I don’t mind. It won’t be real, right? Those things never fucking are.”

“I don’t know– it could be.” The ground’s falling under Steve’s feet. “Down the line, or whatever.”

Something cracks, crumples. “I had you. God fucking damnit. I had you and I–”

Steve’s not expecting the sobs until they happen. Flemmed and shaky and pathetic. Those brown eyes silver-wet like moons. 

Eddie pushes his palms into his cheeks. “Sometimes, after you leave, I just stare up at the ceiling and try to invent like, time travel or something. Just to go back and slap the shit outta myself. I was a goddamn coward. Couldn’t face it. Could talk around it, sure. Write it into my songs like that was honest. But, nah, I couldn’t look in the mirror. Definitely couldn’t look at you. I’m facing it now. I need you to know that. It won’t fix all shit I did, won’t fix the stupid fucking way I tried to fix it the first time. It’s there, it’s out, hell, it’s goddamn double platinum.” He sputters it out miserable, “But I am trying. Even if this– if we can’t. Need you to know I’m facing it now. I want to be better.”

Then Eddie looks right at him, looks at Steve like looking is enough to break his heart. “And I don’t wanna be selfish anymore cause it’s poison, Steve. But fuck. I know I don’t deserve it but if you’ll have me, I’ll– I’m there. Whatever way you’ll take me.”

“Eddie.” Steve doesn’t know why he’s here. Why he keeps digging this wound, ripping out stitches.

“Please? Can’t walk away again. Don’t have it in me.”

“Yeah.” Steve laughs. “You only do that when it’s easy.”

Eddie flinches. Shoves a ringed hand into a pocket. “Too late, huh?”

Steve scratches the back of his head and turns on his heel, “We can’t keep doing this.”

He gets as far the kitchen. Eddie quicksteps in front of the counter, blocks his out. But he’s cowering, ducking his head. “Did you um, like the song?”

It swells up all at once, that bone-deep cruelty of it. A gust turned tsunami. “Not really, Ed. Kinda broke my fucking heart.”

“Shit,” Eddie clicks. “Yeah, I, um, I’m not all that good at the grand gesture thing. Probably should have figured that out by now.”

Steve lets it all in. The red that’s been thrumming through his body since this whole thing started. Lets it possess him. He pushes into Eddie’s space, callous and cruel. “You’re really fucking me up, here. Do you know that?”

“I– I’m not trying to.” Eddie blinks. Frustratingly earnest. 

“What we’re doing– Whatever this is. It makes me feel pathetic. I’d be the dumbest asshole on the planet if I took you back.” He’s screaming now. The balcony door is still open. He doesn’t care if anyone hears. He wants them to hear.

Eddie’s lip is shaking. “I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.” Steve murmurs. The red’s coming off in whisps, quicker than it ever had, easier than it should. 

Eddie’s smile is weak. His face is wet. “I know.”

“You ruined me.” He leans in, finds half a punch in it. Last one he’s got. 

Eddie closes his eyes, brow furrowed. “I know.”

“I don’t want anyone else.” He’s tired. Bone tired. Tired of the ache that only ever seems to go away around, well–

Eddie’s guilt is plain. It's all of him. “I’m sorry.”

Steve takes a breath. He thinks about second chances.

“You really want to be with me?”

Eddie looks at him like he’s already burrowed in. Ribs and guts and blood. “Got my priorities way out of whack for a minute there. Jesus, way too many minutes there. But yeah. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.  You’re it for me, Stevie.”

Steve groans, taps his forehead lightly against a shelf. Eddie’s hand lands steady at his arm, awkward and cautious and right. “I’m a fucking idiot.”

“No.” Eddie says soft. “You’re not.”

“Yeah, I am.” Steve shakes his head. Waves a finger into Eddie’s chest. “You sang Dave fucking Matthews.”

“Don’t remind me, man. They’re gonna start shattering my CDs.” He pauses, sincere as ever. ‘I, uh, wouldn’t take it back though.”

Steve groans again, presses his head into Eddie’s shoulder. “No, you don’t get it. You sang Dave Matthews and now I’m gonna have to call my team and tell them it’s not gonna happen with the country singer.”

Eddie blubbers, big Saturday morning cartoon recalibration. “You’re– what?”

Steve shrugs, catches his eye. “Now I’m gonna have to talk about my coming out journey with Angie at People and dude, she’s been on my ass about it for years. Total sore winner.”

He’s shaking his head, “Harrington… Steve. Stevie.”

But Steve keeps rattling on, “I’m gonna have to tip off the paparazzi that Dark Pines star Steve Harrington was spotted sneaking into Eddie Munson’s brownstone at midnight for a secret rendezvous. Gonna have to go for a jog around the block first thing tomorrow, with like, more hickeys than a teen who just got their first girlfriend.”

“You’ve really thought about this, huh?”

Eddie’s back pushes into the edge of the kitchen counter. And Steve thinks about that photo that forced them together again, about Eddie’s easy grin, about the soft adoration high on his cheeks, about never being so young. He thinks about fucking up and growing up and growing apart and changing. And he smiles against chapped lips that taste like cigarettes and coming home.

And he says, “Gonna have to find someone to give me the hickeys.”

And Eddie lights up like the sun, “I know a guy.”

And Steve, well, he thinks about second chances. 

[gojos-thot-patrol]

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Starring: Frat boy! Sukuna and a (possibly) pregnant reader

Synopsis: Funny how something as small as a grain of rice can cause a shift so massive in so many lives. Deny all he wants, you're having a baby and now Ryomen has to comes to terms with being a young dad. While it can be read on it's own, this is also part of the Frat Boy Au, which you can read here!

Content Warnings: a pregnancy scare, other than that, it's mostly fluff ;)

(Also, if yall want a song to go with the fic: New Mistakes by Jellyfish inspired it)

You had experienced time slowing down before. It slowed down as you walked across the stage for your high school graduation. It had slowed down again when you got your acceptance letter to college. It slowed down the first time you saw your now boyfriend, and when you met his mom for the first time. But it had never been slower than it was now, as you sat on your bed, staring at the Clearblue pregnancy test in your hand.

“Well, what’s it say?!” You roommate, Mei Mei, asked- arguably more nervous than you were. She knew Ryomen was bad news, but she didn’t think he was this fucking bad. She moved to try and take the test from your hand, only for Shoko to slap her shoulder.

“Stop making a bad situation worse Mei.” Shoko growled, irritated from not being able to light a cigarette during this high stress situation.

“Two lines…” You mumbled, not looking up from the stick, “Two lines, what does two lines mean!?” Their expressions told you everything you needed to know. Panic filled you as you dropped the test and grabbed a pillow to scream into. God, how could you have let this happen?! Your period was only a few days late, you had taken the test mostly to put Mei Mei at ease. You didn’t know if you were happy you took it or not anymore.

“It’s okay Y/n, we’ll figure this out.” Shoko sighed as she rubbed your back, failing to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“How am I supposed to tell him?!” You panicked as you ripped your head up from the pillow, “How do you tell someone you ruined there life?!”

“You ruined his life?!” Mei Mei scoffed in disbelief at the assertion, “You should be asking him how the hell he plans to make this up to you! He ruined your life!”

“Nobody's life is ruined!” Shoko snapped at the both of you. “It’s a baby not cancer, Jesus fucking Christ. And it’s not like you don’t have options. You’re the one in control here Y/n, whatever you want to happen will happen.” She said, motherly assurance uncharacteristically thick in her tone. It did make you feel a little bit better about the situation. You weren’t absolutely powerless here.

And it wasn’t like you were against being a mother. Quite the contrary, you liked the idea. Of course, you never thought it would be this soon in your life, but…the universe had a funny way of handling things. And if you were going to have a baby, you didn’t think you could have picked a better guy than Ryomen. He was loving, and kind, not to mention the fact he was guaranteed a good job out of college. But, you also knew that he was beyond nervous about being a dad one day, terrified by the notion of becoming his own father.

“I need to talk to Ryomen.” You sighed. 

🍼🍼🍼

“Dude, In what world does a theoretical physicist need to know about the themes of The Metamorphosis, so a dude becomes a bug, so wh-”

“Hey, shut up Y/n just texted me.” Ryomen cut Satoru off as he checked his phone, the buzzing alerting him to a notification. They were sitting next to each other on the couch, venting about classes they hated. Sugruru was sitting on the arm of the couch closest to Satoru, and Nanami taking up an entire love seat across from them as he played on his own phone. It was a relief to have an excuse to end this conversation really. Ryomen did not have it in him to try and listen to his frat brother straight up misunderstand classic literature for the millionth time.

“And you couldn’t wait to answer it until I finished my sen-”

“No, Y/n texted.” Ryomen said without looking up from his phone, but trusting his tone got across his annoyance. Satoru knew you took precedence, Ryomen didn't know why he was acting like you didn’t all of the sudden.

“And she couldn't wait for two-”

“Are you still talking?” Ryomen snapped. Satoru let out an irritated grumble, frustrated he couldn’t go on his (ill informed) rant about how classic American literature, and literature in general, was useless. “Y/n wants to come over.” Ryomen informed his frat brothers. “Like, now.”

“What’s up with Y/n?” Suguru asked from his spot on the arm of couch, deciding it was safe to enter the conversation now that there was no hope of Satoru going on his rant.

“No clue, she just says we need to talk.” He grumbled softly as he typed on his phone. It wasn’t like you to be this cagey about anything, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t concern him at least a little.

“Dude, shes gonna break up with you.” Satoru's mouth moved faster than his brain did, and for it he got a swift elbow to the stomach. 

“No she’s not.” Ryomen hissed. “She just wants to talk.”

“It’s probably to make plans for fall break, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” Nanami said, quickly getting irritated with all the arguing. 

“Yeah, the dorms close in, what, like two weeks?” Suguru confirmed, “She’s probably gonna ask to stay with your family so she doesn't have to fly back to her own.”

“You’re probably right.” Ryomen took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. That made sense. You got along great with his mom and brother, and your own family basically not at all. It tracked that you would rather drive a few hours and spend a week with people you liked than fly out to people you didn’t. Yeah, that made sense. Yeah.

So why did he still feel so anxious?

🍼🍼🍼

Ryomen had never been more convinced that you were going to leave him than he was now. As you sat across from him on the bed, starring at your fidgeting hands as if they held the secrets to the universe. Something was palpably wrong, he could feel it hanging in a thick veil between the two of you. He didn’t know if he should reach beyond it to hold you, or give you your space and let you come to him. He settled on nervously picking at his nails.

“So, uh, you wanted to talk?” He asked.

“Yeah, I, uh..I’m just trying to think of how to say this.” You muttered. He felt the color drain from his life when you said that. What did he do? Was it about Amy- or whatever the fuck her name was? That was a month ago now, surly it wasn’t that. Was it someone else? That thought made Ryomen realize that actually, he was capable of murder. 

He could feel his jaw clench at the thought of you with another man, white hot rage filling his hands and emotions while images of you with a stranger flashed in his head against his will. What the fuck did that asshole have that he didn’t? What made them think they were worthy of your smile, of your laugh, of you? Who did they think they were?

“Ryomen, I’m pregnant.”

“He’ll never love you like I do.” There was a thick silence of a different variety as they two of you spoke over each other, both of you trying to process what the other said.

“A-are you saying the…baby won’t love me?” You weren’t offended, you were just confused.

“You’re fucking pregnant?” Ryomen could feel his entire world shifting in real time. Thank god you weren’t leaving, but…Pregnant?

“Yeah, that’s what I said, what did You say?” You questioned again, trying to figure out where the fuck that came from. Of all the things you expected him to say, it wasn’t whatever he said.

“It doesn’t really matter what I said, forget I said anything, how long have you known?” He asked, finally pushing past the veil to wrap his arms around you. 

“Like…maybe thirty minuets?” You sighed, rubbing your face as the stress came back. “My period was a week late, so…I took a test, and well…Baby.” You still weren’t sure this was all real.

Ryomen felt the world freeze around him as reality took hold. A dad? He couldn’t be a fucking dad. He was in his fucking twenties, he still had two years left until he graduated, he couldn’t be a dad yet! He thought about his own father, who buckled under the pressure and ran off the moment things got hard. What if he inherited that kind of cowardice? Hell, he didn’t even have the spine to tell his dad to fuck off when he came back in his life after eleven years of radio silence just to completely take control of his future, how the fuck was he supposed to raise a child?!

“Babygirl, that’s amazing!” He smiled, pulling you into his lap and kissing your forehead, “You’re going to be an amazing mom.”

“You think so?” You whispered, taking some comfort in his confidence, It eased your own fear about the uncertain future. 

“Of course I do.” He assured you with the grin that got you into this mess in the first place. Ryomen was fucking petrified of what came next, and he could tell you were too. To him, easing your fear was the most important thing. He could have his own freak out later, right now he needed to be here for you. 

And his words did the trick. Slowly you could feel the tension melting from your shoulders as it settled in that he wasn’t mad, and you weren’t in this alone. “God, I was so scared you where going to leave.” You confessed, feeling the tears pool in the corner of your eyes. His arms tightened around you, holding you like he feared you might be the one to run.

“I’m not going anywhere Babygirl, I promise,” He swore to you, kissing the top of your head, “Wherever you are, that’s were I’ll be. Right next to you and our baby.” His smile was so reassuring, for a second, you actually felt hopeful for the future. He pulled your face to his, and you melted into his kiss.

Ryomen laid with you in his bed, cuddling and talking softly until you finally passed out. He insisted on you staying the night with him, if for no other reason than he found comfort in having you near. He waited until he knew you were in a deep sleep, breathing softly and steadily. He kissed your cheek before he slipped out of bed, into the kitchen for a beer, then out to the balcony to drink it. He was leaning against the old wooden railing, running a hand through his hair as he tried to visualize what his future would look like now.

“So a baby, huh?” He nearly jumped out of his skin at Suguru's voice.

“Jesus fucking Christ, a warning Geto!” He hissed as he took a drink of the cheap beer, giving Suguru the side eye as he leaned next to him.

“Sorry, I’ll make sure to yell at the top of my lungs everywhere I go from now on.” Suguru chuckled softly.

“How do you know we’re having a baby?” Suguru grimaced a little at the pink haired mans question, knowing he got the information through unethical means.

“Satoru listened in on yours and Y/n conversation.” He said as if his ear wasn’t pressed up against the door too, “Sorry.”

“Mmm.” Ryomen groaned, not wanting to accept the apology, but acknowledging it none the less.

“So…whats the plan?” Suguru asked the question no one really wanted to ask, but everyone wanted the answer to.

“The plan is I’m going to be a dad, I guess.” Ryomen grumbled, not really use to the idea yet. He took another drink.

“Well, in that case, congratulations then!” Suguru smiled, taking the cheap beer from Ryomen’s hand and lifting it up, “To the new dad! You’ll do great.” He said as he took a drink.

“Gee, thanks you’re too kind.” Ryomen scoffed.

“Hey man, I’m serious.” Suguru insisted, “I think you’ll be a great dad, if for no other reason than cause your dad sucked. You have the perfect example of what not to do.”

“No I don’t.” Ryomen argued, stress edging into his tone against his will, “My dad wasn’t even there to show me what to not do, he was fucking gone! I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do!” His panic was getting the better of him. He took his beer back and took another drink.

“No one does.” Suguru chuckled, still as calm as ever. “You think this shit comes with a manual? No parent in the long history of parenting has ever known what they were doing. But, you’re worried about it. You’re worried about being a good dad. And that’s further than any shitty parent gets. Probably further than you’re dad got. It shows you care man. And besides, you’ll have Y/n with you. She’s going to be a fantastic mom. If shes got the patience to deal with us, a toddler will be a breeze.”

“I don’t know man. What if…what if I am just like my dad?” Ryomen muttered. He looked just like him. He was going to take over his business. Hell, after his dad forced him to be a business major, Ryomen even changed his last name back to his fathers. It made sense at the time, a Sukuna should be the one to take over the Sukuna family business. But, now? Now that he had to pass that last name on? He wasn’t sure he wanted it. “What if it’s just…in my blood to be my dad?”

Suguru actually laughed at that, hard enough to embarrass the man next to him. “Ryomen, being a shitty person is not genetic I assure you. If it was, Nanami would be a lot more insufferable. It’s not up to our parents to decide who we are as people, that for us to decide and us alone. You’re not your DNA sequencing, you’re the actions that you take and the choices that you make. Your father has no control over that.”

“I mean…yeah. I guess you’re right.” Ryomen muttered, taking another drink before handing the bottle back to Suguru. As cliche as it may have been to say, he was starting to feel better. Maybe he wasn't doomed to be his father. Maybe the Sukuna name wasn’t a death sentence.

“Of course I’m right.” Suguru grinned as he finished off the beer. “So what are you going to do now?” He asked.

“Now?” Ryomen sighed, “Now I need to go talk to my mom.”

🍼🍼🍼

It was a week before Ryomen found the time to make the drive home. A week that he spent attached to your hip. A week making sure you didn’t have to lift up a single thing, a week of threatening anyone who dared smoke around you, and a week of coming to terms with his new future. The two of you had spent the time researching doctors, and on baby forums looking for advice. He was relieved to admit, he kinda became fond of the idea of having a little baby running around. 

He started to imagine what they would look like, what they would sound like, and what their favorite color would be. Money wouldn’t be an issue once he took over Malevolent Shrine International, so he wasn’t worried about that. Honestly, you wouldn't have to work if you didn’t want to, and if you did want to he could afford child care. The two- No. The three of you were going to be okay. He hoped it would be only three.

He knocked on the door of his childhood home, having forgot his key and not being willing to go all the way back for it. Much to his dismay, Yuji answered the door. 

“Sorry, sign says no solicitors.” He said, quickly trying to close the door. Ryomen was fast to push against him, trying to get his body through the crack in the entry. 

“Open the door brat or I’m going to wipe your hard drive.” Ryomen threatened,

“College hasn’t changed you one bit, has it?” Yuji scoffed, sticking his tongue out at his brother. 

“It’s made me more prone to violence, wanna see?” Ryomen growled as he pushed against the door harder. Yuji stood firm though, an immovable object to Ryomen’s unstoppable force. 

“I’m going to tell Y/n you said that!” It was Yuji’s turn to threaten, “I’m also going to tell her that you beat me up! And you’re mean! And that you kick kittens!”

“Why you little-” Ryomen finally got his arm through the small space, almost getting a hand on his little brother before his mothers voice brought the entire show to a halt.

“Are you two Trying to break my door?!” She sounded exasperated, “Yuji, let your brother in!” The moment their mother got involved the boys remembered how to act, with Yuji calmly opening the door and Ryomen walking in like he wasn’t just trying to strangle his little sibling. 

“Hi Mom.” He said, smiling warmly as she came up and hugged him.

“Hi Honey,” She said, giving him a soft pat on the cheek. “Wheres Y/n? I made coffee.”

“She had a test today, she couldn’t make it.” He said. That was a lie. You were completely free, but, he didn't want you here for this conversation.

“Mmm, you know your ears turn red when you lie, right?” His mom laughed as she walked to the kitchen. He followed her with a roll of his eyes, sitting at the kitchen table.

“She was busy, alright?” He defended himself as his mom put a coffee cup in front of him, sitting across from him with her own.

“Sure. So what did you need to talk about sweetie?” She asked. Ryomen took a moment to really study his mom. She didn’t look so different from how he remembered her in his childhood. A few more wrinkles, a lot more gray hair, but still his mother none the less. He wondered how she felt when she realized she was having a baby.

“So, um…Y/n is…” He couldn’t make eye contact.

“Ryomen, don’t tell me you got that poor girl pregnant.” She gasped, putting down her mug and looking at him with demanding eyes. 

“Why would you jump to that?!” He tried to deflect.

“Then tell me she’s not.” She said, looking at him with a scowl that dared him to try and lie.

“....She is.” He sighed, taking a drink from his coffee to get away from her disappointed gaze.

“Sweet Jesus...” His mom sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead. Then she laughed a little, shaking her head with a soft smile she tried to hide behind her coffee cup.

“What?” He asked. She shook her head again.

“Nothing just…well, I guess I was around your age when I had you. A little younger. You can’t really be mad at the apple for not falling too far from the tree now, can you?” She chuckled softly, and it put Ryomen at ease. So she wasn’t going to eviscerate him. Good. 

“Yeah, well…Gotta honor some family traditions, am I right?” He tried to joke, only to be quickly shut up by his mothers disapproving glare. 

“So whats your plan big man?” She asked, “You’re not going to leave her alone with this, that’s for damn sure.”

“No mom, I couldn’t even imagine-”

“Good, cause I’ll choose Y/n over you every time.” She teased. 

“I know mom.” He smiled, “Good to know you like her, cause that makes this question a lot easier to ask.”

“Oh?” He really caught her attention now.

“I was wondering, do you know where Grandmas wedding ring is?” He bit his lip as he finally said it out loud. Even before you were pregnant, every time Ryomen imagined his future, it was always with you as his wife. He couldn’t conceive of a life without you by his side, now more so than ever. He was going to make things right, and unlike his own dad, he wasn’t going to wait for the second baby to do it. He knew he was on the right track when he saw his mothers proud smile.

“As a matter of a fact, I think I do. I think I know where some of your old baby clothes are too, hold on.”

🍼🍼🍼

“Ryo!” You smiled as he walked into the entry of the frat house, carrying a walmart bag of old baby clothes. You were down the stairs and in his arms in an instant, laughing happily as you jumped to him. He caught you with a grin, spinning you around before putting you back on the ground.

“I could get used to that.” He teased. You smiled and rolled your eyes playfully at him.

“I’m sure you could. Ryo, I have amazing news, I- wait, what’s in the bag?” You asked as your brain finally registered that there was something in his hand. 

“Oh, yeah!” He smiled excitedly as he put the bag on the coffee table, “Remember how I went to talk to my mom? She says hi by the way, but look! She still had some of mine and Yuji’s old baby clothes!” He said, pulling out a truly precious onesie, covered in stars and a rocket ship, followed by a red, blue, and yellow stripped jumper.

“Oh baby-” You sighed as you realized your good news might actually not be good news.

“I know it’s not a lot, and its all kinda old and used, but it’s a start, you know? Something to bring the baby home in.”  He said, putting the clothes down and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Baby, I’m not pregnant.” You dropped that like a nuke. He blinked at you as he tried to process what you just said.

“Huh?”

“I’m not pregnant Ryomen, I’m sorry. I got my period.” You said, gently cupping his cheek. You did not expect a reaction like this at all. Confusion, sure, but not…disappointment?

“But I thought you took a test?” He asked, trying to catch up to reality.

“I did, but it must have been a false positive. Apparently that’s pretty common with my birth control.”

“Oh…” He wasn’t expecting to feel so upset about this either. Like the entire world he had build up in his mind was gone. He realized he was going to be mourning the death of someone who truly never existed, and felt so ridiculous about it. He didn’t realize he was tearing up until you brushed a tear off his cheek.

“I’m sorry Ryo…but, hey! Look on the bright side, we get to keep our twenties!” You chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled gently and nodded.

“You’re right it’s just…I don’t know. I kinda liked the idea of starting a family with you.” He confessed softly, an idea that would have made his skin crawl just a little over a year ago. You really did force him to grow up. You laughed a little more sincerely this time, and gave him a quick kiss.

“Sorry Ryo, if you want a family, you’re gonna have to upgrade from the girlfriend package to the wifey bundle.” You teased him. 

“Y/n!” Gojo yelled from up the stairs, “Nanami got tired of waiting for you, he un-paused the game!” You paled as you realized that Nanami was unfairly demolishing you at street fighter.

“Hey! That’s illegal!” You yelled as you ran up the stairs to try and salvage the round. Ryomen watched as you ran away, an unfamiliar fondness growing in his chest. Normally, he would have been unbelievably jealous you were hanging out with his friends- especially without him. Now though? He saw it as a good sign.

“Upgrade, huh?” He muttered, mostly to himself. His hand dropped into his pocket, clutching the ring box there. “Don’t worry Y/n. I plan on it.” He promised as he went up stairs to join you. 

[fairyhaos]

seventeen as seventeen songs

requested by @nishloves

notes: honestly this was hard to do 😭 i kept thinking about songs that are most iconic for that member rather than which song they fit, but hopefully it's still somewhat accurate <3

[the spotify playlist with these songs in too]

masterlist

seungcheol

clap. if there's any song that screams "i'm the leader of seventeen and we're better than any of your lazy asses", then it's clap. it's also such an iconic song, and the hypeness and brightness and the coolness and suaveness it radiates all at once is very very seungcheol, if you ask me. it also doesn't hurt that he looked so so good with his silver hair in the mv.

jeonghan

snap shoot. okay, this one sounds really unusual, but hear me out. snap shoot gives encore song vibes, goodbye song but not quite goodbye, "today was fun and i hope to see you soon" vibes. it's like standing back and watching everyone have fun because of something that you did. it's being happy n having fun by seeing that you made others have fun. and that's jeonghan.

joshua

falling for u. it's such a delicate song, all polite and sweet and delicate and therefore it's just very very much joshua. the youthful, almost playful edge to the melody reminds me of him, along with the kind of naive, "you're so pretty so i fell in love" kind of loving that the song feels like makes me think of josh. also a bonus that he has tons of lines in this song, since it's just a duet w him and jeonghan haha

junhui

my my. the hope!! the sweetness!! the little funky music in the intro that adorably reminds me of junhui's voice!! it's all just so him. the way this song just encapsulates feelings of youth and life and being forever young and forever going towards your dreams... that never-failing optimism is so junhui it almost hurts

hoshi

hit. if you don't think the constant "woah woah woah woah woah"s and "let me drop the 음악" aren't the most hoshi things ever then idk what you're on, man. it's hype, it's powerful, it's "im better than you and even you know it" and so cocky but also so True that you can't even refute it. it's about always doing better, always going further, and that's just so hoshi.

wonwoo

lean on me. jazzy, chill, dependable vibes are a very very wonwoo thing, actually, and that's what this entire song is about. it's laid back, and yet loving at the same time, caring and comfortable and ready to be by your side. it feels like a song you'd listen to while on a walk with him at night, his camera up to his eyes, his hand wrapped around yours.

woozi

247. it's romantic, but also a little wistful at the same time? elegant, yet nostalgic, thoughtful and sweet and like dancing across a glass lake. it's what woozi feels like, with his intelligence and how delicately he feels things. to be honest, a lot of the ballad-style, romantic earlier songs of svt fit him rlly well, but 247 even more so

minghao

hit song. it's a smooth feeling song, like running a cloth over a black marble countertop. honestly, finding a minghao vibe song is really hard for me, but some of their gentler songs seem to fit him, full of devoted, almost shy love that feels very minghao to me. that devotion, that softness and yet the determination also present feels like him

mingyu

boomboom. purely based on the vibes of the song tbh, and the prominent drums and chromaticism of the melody feel like mingyu, along with the brass accents and the confidence and coolness is just all so very very there that it makes me think of mingyu practically almost instantly.

dokyeom

kidult. not only because his vocals in this song are both iconic and utterly incredible, but even its message is very dokyeom. it encapsulates his innate urge to help people, to heal people, to make sure they smile and that they know they're loved. it's a precious song, and a song about letting others know they're precious, and has me crying and smiling, just like dokyeom does.

seungkwan

'bout you. it's a devastatingly romantic song, like a simple, easy love. it's like the type of love with zero complications, just full of two people laughing and running through fields hand in hand and hearts full of love for one another. the entire song feels so fresh, almost citrusy, and never ever fails to bring a smile to my face. just like seungkwan, actually.

vernon

crush. im gonna be real with u i have no idea how to explain this one but yeah. crush gives me vernon vibes and idk, maybe it's the funky vibes of the song with its mild chromaticism that give me a vernon feeling, but yeah. vernon is crush. (maybe it's because that's what i have on him-)

chan

domino. it's a light song, like floating but not quite. almost as if bouncing on your feet in midair, leaping across clouds which just gives me chan vibes. it also gives me movie ending credits song vibes after a bright, high school-set rom com learning-to-grow kind of movie which is very very chan in my opinion

request guidelines

reactions tags: @jeonginssa @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @zarara @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @iheartyujin @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @butiluvu @sakufilms

[alice-after-dark]

Late Night with the Radio Demon - Sing Me a Song

Alastor is bored and visits his favorite human.

Alastor's POV for once! Normally I want this au to lean a little more on the dark and horrory side of things, but this popped into my brain space so here, have some short fluff of silly boys being silly.

And, as usual, gotta tag @hiemaldesirae!

When Alastor appeared in the young man's apartment, he was greeted by two very pleasant things.

The smell of something cooking.

And a lovely melody drifting out of the kitchen.

Half a love, never appealed to me

If your heart, never could yield to me

Then I'd rather have nothing at all

All or nothing at all

The first voice crooning that delightful sound Alastor immediately recognized as the glorious Frank Sinatra. A true pity that Alastor had passed only a year before the man stepped onto the music scene. He would have been delighted to play the man's music on his show. The second voice singing along however...truly, his human never failed to entertain. He made his way towards the kitchen.

If it's love, there ain't no in between

Why begin then cry for something that might have been?

No, I'd rather, rather have nothing at all

"My, my! So full of surprises, Vincent!"

The human yelped, jumping and nearly dropping the knife he was holding as he scrambled to turn off the radio. He whirled around, leveling the demon with a glare as Alastor made himself comfortable at the table.

"Do you have to do that?"

"Oh my, no! But it's far more fun!" The Radio Demon leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and tucking his hands under his chin. "I wasn't aware you could sing."

His human looked rather adorable, flushed in the face like a shy schoolgirl. He looked away from Alastor's gaze. "I don't usually...it's just a casual hobby...my dad used to sing a lot and I guess I just picked it up from him."

Alastor tried not to let his mood sour at the mention of a father figure. Well, at least not everyone had to put up with a piece of shit contributing the second half of their chromosomes. Thankfully, his human provided a quick distraction.

"So why are you here? Did you come for your favor?"

Oh dear, he'd nearly forgotten! "Of course! Can't let it go to waste, now can I?"

His human sighed. "Okay, so what do you want?"

Alastor tapped his chin. He didn't really have anything he truly needed at the moment, but it wouldn't be right to let the TV host get away without upholding his end of their bargain for the day. An idea formed.

"Well, you were so quick to turn off that radio upon my arrival that I didn't get to hear the end of that lovely song. Why don't you finish it for me?"

His human blushed again. Ah, he did so enjoy the sight of him flustered. "You...you want me to sing for you?"

"Indeed! In fact, why don't we take it from the top?" Without waiting for further commentary, Alastor tapped his microphone and music began to fill the small kitchen. His human turned back to his cooking, shoulders tense and awkward, but nevertheless began to sing. Alastor leaned on his hands and watched him. As the song continued, the TV host began to relax, losing himself in the music as he returned to cooking. Alastor wondered if he even remembered the demon was there.

Please don't bring your lips so close to my cheek

Don't you smile or I'll be lost beyond recall

The kiss in your eyes, the touch of your hand makes me weak

And my heart, it may grow dizzy and fall

And if I fell under the spell of your call

I would be, I'd be caught in the undertow

So you see, I have got to say no, no

All or nothing at all

He really should get his human to sing for him more often.

All or nothing at all

Nothing at all

There ain't nothing at all

Nothing at all

---

All or Nothing at All by Frank Sinatra

[vettelinyourarea]

ready to run - charles leclerc

genre: fluff

warning: english is not my first language

word count: 1,349

inspired by ready to run by one direction

notes: I’m actually from Bali so, for Charles I have to mention his monkey incident there hehe. Also, this account is probably going to be a based-on-songs writing account.

feel free to give me feedbacks!

There’s a lightning in your eyes I can’t deny

Then there’s me inside a sinking boat, running out of time

Without you I’ll never make it out alive

But I know, yes I know we’ll be alright

Charles just got back to Monaco after a race in Bahrain. Disappointed would perfectly describe how he’s feeling right now. Tired, would also describe his condition perfectly. But he doesn’t go to his own house straight away, no. He is coming to you, his home.

It’s almost like a routine for him to come back to you straight away after a race weekend. He just wants your comfort and to see your beautiful smile that could make him drunk whenever he saw you.

You are instantly greeted by a tight hug by the man that is still wearing his ferrari suit in front of your house. After about three minutes of just standing there, you finally tried to pull away from him. “Let’s come inside first, okay? You should also change to a more comfortable clothes,” you said softly, still hugging him because you failed to pull away from the man that’s still hugging you.

Once you two are inside, you made him some chamomile tea to relax him a little bit while he’s changing his clothes that he stored in your closet. You were doing your dishes from earlier when you made your breakfast before Charles came, when he surprised you with a hug.

“Can we please cuddle?”

There’s a devil in your smile, it’s chasing me

And every time I turn around it’s only gaining speed

There’s a moment when you finally realized

There’s no way you can change the rolling tide

But I know, yes I know that I’ll be fine

Charles is sitting on his plane, going for Italy. After spending the holiday with you, reality finally hits and he has to prepare for the next season’s race. Going to, what he called, training camp. He loves training, but loving it doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. But he really can’t think about it right now. All he has on his mind is your smile, how he misses you.

Charles couldn’t understand himself, already missing you when you literally just dropped him of this morning. But he can’t control his feeling, and he always misses you. Your smile, your hugs, your laugh, your eyes. And that he couldn’t see you for the next few months, he knew training would be more difficult for him.

But one thing, and only one thing finally made a smile appear on his face. Charles knew you would be waiting for him in Monaco after all these difficult months. He knew he can always come home, to you. And he finally feels okay and ready for the training camp he has to endure every year.

He will be fine, as long as you are waiting for him to come home.

This time I’m ready to run

Escape from the city and follow the sun

Cause I wanna be yours

Don’t you wanna be mine?

I don’t wanna get lost in the dark of the night

Charles is currently sitting in his hotel room in Singapore after qualifying day. It wasn’t the best for him, but it’s also not the worst. But still, he wants to hear your voice that always managed to comfort him even after all of the difficult things he has to endure during the day. And he’s very lucky that you will always pick up his phone calls whatever the occurrence is, whatever time it is there in Monaco.

“Hey, I saw the qualifying,” you said after you picked up the call. Even with that one simple sentence, you already brought a big smile on Charles’s face. “You saw it?” he asked everytime, even though he knew if it’s possible, you will always watch the free practices, the qualifying, and the race.

You are talking about your day mindlessly when Charles suddenly said something that surprised you quite a bit. “Can’t we just be official?” he said suddenly. He couldn’t help himself anymore. You are his home, you are the one he seeks comfort to, but neither of you have put any labels on your relationship.

“You’re asking me to be your girlfriend through the phone?” you said with a little laugh. Charles laugh softly too, he never thought he would be asking you to be his girlfriend when he’s literally halfway across the world. He has always been a romantic kind of guy.

“I would literally fly there now just so you can be my girlfriend,” he said jokingly, knowing it’s not possible because of the race tomorrow.

“Don’t be stupid Charles, try again when you are home.”

There’s a future in my life I can’t foresee

Unless of course I stay on course

And keep you next to me

No one can predict their future, including Charles. Especially with him being a racing driver, once his contract with Ferrari ends, he can’t be sure and confident that he will be on the grid the next season. And he is scared, he is scared of what the future holds for him. And he told you that, he always tells you whatever it is on his mind that is bothering him.

“I’m scared I wouldn’t be on the grid next season,” he said to you one night, while you’re holding him close. You’re playing with his hair because you knew it would soothe his nerve.

This season has not been easy for him, and you know it. But that doesn’t mean his love for racing is gone. Every DNF would be replaced by a win on the next race, every disappointment would be replaced by pride, and every exhaustion would be replace by satisfaction. Racing is not easy for him, for anyone, but that’s what make him more in love with the sport. “I definitely think you would be on the grid next season. I hope Toto will hire you,” you said jokingly. It’s a running joke between both of you because of your love for the Mercedes Team Principal, Charles’ team rival.

“I hope so, but I think I will be fine as long as you’re next to me,” he said, earning a laugh from you. “God, you’re so cheesy, Perceval.”

This time I’m ready to run

Wherever you are is the place I belong

Cause I wanna be free

And I wanna be young

I will never look back, now I’m ready to run

You are currently planning for your trip going to Bali. It’s been years since you last leave the country for a vacation, and you knew you deserve it. After years of working while trying to get your master’s degree, you finally got it. So, you decided to reward yourself by going on a trip to Bali, to enjoy the beautiful beaches, temples, foods, and sunsets. But you’re not alone planning the trip, you had asked Charles for his recommendation as he had been there a few years ago.

“Can I join you?” he asked suddenly while you’re looking for the visa requirements. “You sure? I won’t be racing or climbing the mountains there.” You said. You knew Charles has always been an adrenaline junky, the complete opposite of you. You prefer going to the beach, the beautiful temples, where Charles would prefer to go rock climbing somewhere.

“Please? I just want to be with you,” he said with a pout. How could you resist him with that face you rarely see from a driver? “Okay, you can come,” you said, earning yourself a little kisses from that man who is smiling so hard.

Charles knew he would rather be sitting at the beach, bore himself to death by not doing anything, than being away from you when he could have been next to you. And he knew he won’t be bored because He loves spending time with you. He loves being with you.

“But can we please not go to the monkey forest in Ubud?” he said, earning a smack on his arm.

[randomfoggytiger]

Fail Better Premium: David's Thoughts (Part XVIII)

Creating a breadcrumb trail with David Duchovny's personal growth.

"Okay, so these are my post-Andy Cohen thoughts.

"I couldn't help thinkin'-- y'know, the ascendance of reality tv in the past fifteen, twenty years-- I couldn't help thinking of The Truman Show; and I wish that I would have asked him if that was an important movie for him. But how prescient-- hm, if that's how you pronounce that word-- show is, was, and will be. And also to ask: I wonder if the housewives are these characters who are trapped in an ethos of late capitalism, much the way Truman was; if, uh, any of them tried to escape the reality of reality tv in any significant way. Um, or if any of them have a revelation to get out of there. To quit. Um, to quit the show, to quit that kind of life, I don't know.

"Y'know, this is part of my arrogance, I guess. Or, or judgment, something I need to check within myself. But, y'know. I guess I'm threatened, as I said before, by the kind-- it's almost like being threatened by AI, when you watch reality show being written, uh, by the players. By the people in the reality show; and by the editors, really-- and that's an unsung thing. Um, the woman that did my, um, Reverse the Curse, who edited it-- a wonderful editor by the name of Jaimie Nelson-- she comes from reality tv. So, she would tell me, y'know, how the stories are created; and it's really the editors that are the unsung heroes of those franchises and those shows. And that's something, um, that's very artful that I would have wanted to talk to Andy about; something that I think about.

"But also, I take it almost as a failure unto myself, this ascendance of reality tv as a storyteller-- me. That I can't, that I'm not creating fictionalized stories, movies, television programs, that are better, that are more artful. Y'know, this is really evidence of my prejudice-- of my personal, artistic prejudice. And I'll own it. Y'know? And... but I, I take it almost as a failure on my part. Or as, or we can all take it as a failure on our parts, as writers, at this point: that, y'know, reality tv has taken over in that way. And also documentaries: we live in a time when, um, the airways are filled with documentaries and so-called reality shows. Um, what has happened to our storytelling? Or have our needs changed? Are these now our needs? Are these now our story needs? Do we have to have this sense of 'real', of reality in front of our stories in order for us to, uh, to get involved? And Andy really marks that continuation in soap operas, which was his first love.... He's watched, he's been in the center of reality shows taking over from soap operas; or, or doing what soap operas used to do. Uh, and, and-- even though soap operas exist, obviously.

"So, these are things I'm thinking about, um, after Andy. Um. And, you know, again: I feel... queasy about my own stance towards these shows. Uh, Ifeel like I make a moral judgment-- but it's not really moral, it's more like an artistic judgment. And yet, I keep coming on back to that Cobain line from a song that I don't remember the title of, but it's 'I wish I was like you, so easily amused.' And I wish I was that easily amused; and maybe I'm getting there because I..." [Voice drops teasingly.] "I'm watching Love Island. U.S., America, what-- American Love Island, y'know?" [Voice snaps abruptly back.] "That's gonna be forty-five hours-- if I watch that show, if I watched all of that show, that's gonna be forty-five hours of my life that I could have spent playing guitar." [Laughs.] "Um, I don't know what it is that's satisfied by these shows. I don't know what it is. If you're amused, if you're... involved, I have no judgment on that. Y'know, that's great, that's great. It's just I never really have been, by that type of show.

"Um. So. I guess I'm torn between making a judgment and not. And, uh, all we have at the end of the day is our taste and our instinct; and that's the thing that makes this judgment, these judgments." [Sighs.] "You can say I'm conflicted about it. Um, but, then again, the, we, we call this art, but we're in a capitalist society and the eyeballs and the money spent are the judges. And those shows are winning. Um, it doesn't mean I have to like it. Um, but it does mean I have to try to understand it-- at least, I do. I have to try to understand it. I think that's a fair way to end it."

(Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV: 1/3, Part IV: 2/3, Part IV: 3/3, Part V: 1/3, Part V: 2/3, Part V: 3/3, Part VI: 1/2, Part VI: 2/2, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII: 1/2, Part XII: 2/2, Part XIII: 1/2, Part XIII: 2/2,Part XIV, Part XV, Part XVI: 1/2, Part XVI: Part 2/2, Part XVII)

[theewokingdead]

Hate Me - Francisco "Catfish" Morales x f!Reader

Pairing: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x f!Reader POV: Second ("You") Summary: Frankie loses his pilot’s license after failing a drug test and begs you to make it easy for him to leave. Inspired by the song “Hate Me” by Blue October. Set several months before the events of the Triple Frontier movie.  Rating: Mature Word Count: 5.1k Content: Hurt/Comfort. Mentions of previous drug use and relapse. Reader finds out she’s pregnant. Allusions to breastfeeding. Dad!Frankie.  A/N: This has been floating around in my head for a while, and I was FINALLY able to get it down. Enjoy the emotional damage and please don’t hate me.

Masterlist

Hey, Frankie, it’s me, and it’s one thirty-seven on Monday afternoon. I’m just sitting in my car and thought I should call you to see how you are doing. I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately and I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay, and, well... I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay. I, uh… I was really hoping you’d pick up. I just need to hear your voice, to hear you say that everything will be okay. Everything is okay. You know I love you. Hope to hear from you. Bye.

Frankie’s knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel, his jaw tight. His gaze is fixed on the road ahead, his mind a void of nothingness, purposefully pushing away any thoughts that will no doubt send him spiraling into despair. He pulls into the driveway, feeling numb and empty. After parking the truck, he slowly makes his way up to the front door of his house, mindlessly going through the motions of unlocking the door and entering.

It’s quiet inside, an eerie silence that makes him feel alone. He closes the door behind him and leans against it, never taking off his shoes. In a sense, he feels safer here, as if he can avoid facing what has happened outside these walls for just a little bit longer. 

He trudges to the bedroom where he throws his keys on the bedside table. He removes his wallet and phone from his pocket, carefully setting them down. The movement causes the screen of his phone to come to life, informing him of a call he hadn’t heard come through. Frankie picks up the device and sees a voicemail from you. 

Immediately, the feelings he so desperately wanted to bury start to come through. His pride burns within him, and he’s reminded of what a failure he is, how useless he is. He’s afraid to hear what you have to say, but he knows he can’t ignore the sound of your voice for long. With a heavy breath, he presses the play button, listening as you express your concern for him and your love. His heart sinks.

The moment the voicemail ends, Frankie tosses his phone and falls to the edge of the bed. Dropping his elbows to his thighs, he lifts his hands and buries his face in them. He pushes just hard enough for his eyes to ache, a welcome pain. The sensation helps, at least for a moment, distracting the voices in his head — the ones telling him he isn’t good enough, that you deserve so much better than this.

He never wanted you to find out about any of it - the horrors he saw while fighting someone else’s war, the nightmares that wake him sweating and screaming and draining his spirit, the cocaine he snorts, and the alcohol he downs to dull the pain. He never wanted you to be a part of the battle he fights in his mind. But despite his best efforts to keep you away, you could see something was wrong, and eventually, he dropped his walls and allowed you inside. He resented it but knew it was for the best, you wanting nothing more than to help him find his way back to mental peace. 

He swore he’d never touch coke again, and he stayed true to his word for several months…until he didn’t. It was just one line, a harmless indulgence he told himself. But one turned into two, and two turned into three until he couldn’t remember how many he had snorted. The high was fleeting, barely lasting long enough to be worth the trouble, and yet he kept coming back to it. 

Frankie knew he was spiraling out of control again. He didn’t know how to talk to you about it, how to explain the way his mind has been betraying him. He thought he could get it under control on his own this time, that maybe he wasn’t in too deep to pull himself out. Now, it’s too late. 

All it took was one misstep and now there’s no hiding it. This morning, the results of a random drug test at work came back positive, sealing his fate in an instant. He had gambled with his future and lost. Now, he is left with nothing. No pilot’s license, no work, no chance of a steady reasonable income to support you. 

Frankie feels a deep shame for not being able to hold it together. You had done all that you could to help him and had trusted him to stay clean, but he failed you and broke your trust. He doesn’t know how to face you, how to look you in the eyes and tell you he had screwed up. His heart aches as he thinks of the disappointment he will see in your eyes. He can’t put you through this…not again.

I can’t stay here.

Frankie’s heart breaks at the thought of letting go, but he has no choice - reality is stronger than his feelings for you. Staying will only bring more pain. You deserve more than he can offer, and though you’ve started to pull away from him lately, you’ll never willingly let him go. His only option is to force you to leave him behind by being the one to leave first - to go somewhere so far away that he’ll never be able to cross your mind again.

He grabs a duffle bag and throws random belongings into it with reckless abandon, not stopping until he hears his name being uttered in a trembling voice. He pauses, frozen - for a second he can't tell if it's real or just an illusion of his own making. But when he hears it again, this time louder and more insistent, he knows it’s no dream. This is real, and all he can do is pray that finding out this way will make you hate him enough to be able to let him go.

This can’t be happening. 

Tears drip down your face, hands clutching the steering wheel as you will yourself to as you try to make sense of the news. You didn’t believe it when you first got a positive test two weeks ago, and you still don’t want to believe it despite the doctor’s confirmation. Your heart feels like it’s breaking, a thousand shards of emotions piercing your soul. 

You and Frankie have talked about your future together, and you’ve both expressed the desire to want kids one day. But this is not how it’s supposed to happen. The timing feels wrong. Frankie has only been clean for three months, and you know he still struggles with overcoming the addiction. He still needs to focus on himself. What will this do to him? And how can you take away from his life when he is only just getting it back?

Taking a deep breath, you wipe away the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand. Then, you reach for your phone and dial his number. You don’t know what you’re going to say, only that you need to hear his voice. With every ring, your heart beats faster, wondering if this is the ring when he’ll finally pick up. 

This is stupid, you think, the rings vibrating in your ear. You never should’ve called him. You can’t tell him something like this over the phone. He deserves to hear it in person. However, right now, the need to hear his voice far outweighs any common sense.

The call goes to voicemail, and you take another deep breath, trying to steady your voice to leave a message. When he sees a missed call from you, he’ll worry that something’s wrong without any reassurance that everything’s okay.

“Hey, Frankie, it’s me, and it’s”-you quickly glance at the clock on your dash-“one thirty-seven on Monday afternoon. I’m just sitting in my car and thought I should call you to see how you are doing. I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately and I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay, and, well... I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay. I, uh… I was really hoping you’d pick up. I just need to hear your voice, to hear you say that everything will be okay.” 

You cringe, knowing he’ll think something is wrong and he’ll spiral. “Everything is okay,” you immediately reassure him. “You know I love you. Hope to hear from you. Bye.”

After hanging up and tossing your phone on the passenger seat, you sigh loudly, wondering if calling him was the right choice. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You turn on the ignition and begin to drive. Frankie won’t be home from work for several hours, hopefully giving you some time to process the news and figure out a proper way to tell him. 

When you pull into the driveway, you see his truck parked in its usual spot. Immediately, you’re confused. He shouldn’t be home. 

Taking a deep breath, you brace yourself for the worst as you enter the house. The silence is suffocating, and you can feel the tension in the air. You make your way into the living room, calling out his name, but there is no answer. Then you hear it – a sound coming from the bedroom.

You gently push the door open and find him standing beside the bed, a duffle bag sitting on the mattress in front of him as he stuffs things inside. It doesn’t seem like he’s packing for a short trip.

“Frankie?” Your voice is weak and filled with confusion. 

He stops in place as if he had been caught in some sort of criminal act. He doesn’t move, doesn’t say a word - like he’s frozen in time. Seconds, minutes, hours pass – you can’t be sure which. Your mind races, filled with insecurities as you realize he must be leaving – leaving you. Did he get your message? Does he somehow know? Maybe he found one of your tests in the trashcan. Maybe the doctor accidentally called him. Either way, he must know, and now, instead of accepting the responsibility of being a father, he’s running.

“Frankie!” you demand, your voice insistent. “Look at me.” 

Frankie turns his head, his soft brown eyes meeting your own. You can see the pain etched on his face, the turmoil in his eyes. You wonder what could make him want to leave, to run away from you and your future together. 

“Are you leaving me?” you question, needing to hear him say it.

His head turns slightly, eyes falling to the floor, and it’s all the confirmation you need. 

Your heart shatters into a million pieces, the weight of the news and his sudden need to leave overwhelming you. You had thought that he would stay, that he would fight for you and your future together. But this… this is just too much. You struggle to hold back the tears threatening to spill over, but you can’t help it. Before you know it, you’re on the floor, sobbing hysterically.  

Concerned, Frankie flies across the room and drops to the floor. He takes your hands in his and looks into your eyes, begging you to yell at him, to tell him how much you hate him at this moment.

“Frankie, please,” you sob. “I need you. I can’t do this without you. Please.”

“Shhh, shhh,” Frankie coos. He takes your face in his calloused hands, and you can feel the warmth of his hand on your cheeks. Gently, he wipes away your tears as fast as they spill. He silently prays to whatever god is listening to take all your pain away, to make you smile and be your usual happy self. He hates seeing you like this, hates that he’s the reason for it even more. 

Peace is all he’s ever wanted for you, and instead of giving it to you, he’s only ever taken it away. “Bebita, please. I’m sorry.”

Your sobs slow down after a few moments, and you finally work up the courage to look him in the eye. “How, Frankie?” Your voice breaks as you ask the question in a whisper. He withdraws his hands, clearly ashamed of his actions. “How could you do this to me? To us.” 

Frankie rises to his feet, and you sit in silence, waiting for him to say something, anything. “I’m doing this for you,” he finally contends. 

You feel anger and confusion welling up inside you. “For me?” you ask. Your lips emit a sound that resembles both a sob and a laugh. “How can abandoning me now, when I need you the most, be for me? After all that I have done for you...” You shake your head in disbelief, the tears rolling down your cheeks. Your heart feels like it is being crushed by a heavy weight. 

Suddenly, it’s all starting to make sense – his behavior recently. You pretended you didn’t see it, pretended all the signs didn't point to him using again, but you can’t ignore this damning evidence. You wipe a tear from your face.

“It’s the coke again, isn’t it?” you whisper desperately, looking back at him. 

Frankie turns his face away from yours, unable to keep up the charade. The air around him crackles with pain and disappointment as you both realize that he hasn't learned from his mistake, once again succumbing to the lure of the drug that nearly destroyed your relationship in the past. He had promised himself he would never make that same mistake again, but here it is, a smoky reminder of how quickly life could slip away as he traded his future for a momentary high.

“I’m sorry, bebita. I wanted to be a better man for you, one that could take care of you, one that could be happy and clean…but I just couldn’t do it.” His voice cracks as he speaks, and you can see how hard it is for him to admit this truth aloud. 

After rising to your feet, you reach out to him in an attempt to comfort him, but he pulls away before you can touch him. His eyes are full of sorrow as he stands up and grabs his bag from the bed. 

“I have to get out of here.”

“No,” you insist, grabbing a hold of the bag, refusing to let him leave. “Frankie, you don’t have to do this.”

“We can’t continue like this. My addiction is hurting us both, pulling us into a pit of despair and misery. I know you want out, and I won’t let it destroy you any more than it already has; you deserve so much more than this.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” you question, feeling your blood boil as you let go of the bag and step back. “I am not in a pit of despair or misery, and I’m not trying to get out of anything. What makes you think-” You stop, knowing that you’ve been distant the last few weeks, having chosen to not burden him with your pregnancy until you were certain. He must’ve mistaken it as you pulling away from him because of him, because of his addiction. Suddenly, you soften. “Oh, Francisco,” you coo. “Please. Let me explain. I’m not…I’m not trying to find a way out. I haven’t given up on you, not now, not ever. I love you-”

“That’s the fucking problem!” Frankie exclaims so suddenly, causing you to flinch. “I want you to give up on me. I want you to hate me.”

“Hate you?” you question. “I could never hate you.”

Frankie looks at you with desperation in his eyes, his voice breaking as he speaks. “You have to. Please. You have to hate me - I need you to hate me - so that I can leave and never come back. Hate me for leaving you. Hate me for not being strong enough to walk away from the coke. Hate me for all the things I couldn’t do for you. I don’t care. Just… Please. I’m begging you. Do whatever it takes to hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.”

“See what’s good for me?” you repeat, not believing he’s saying these things. “I see what’s good for me, Frankie, and it’s you. You are what’s good for me, whether you believe it or not.”

Frankie stares at you with wide eyes, trying to suppress the emotions that are bubbling up inside him. He can’t believe that you still want him, even after everything he’s done. All he can feel is a sense of shame and unworthiness that clouds his judgment.

“I’m not good enough for you,” he whispers, his voice cracking. “I’ll only bring you down.”

“You’re wrong,” you insist. “I love you, Frankie. Let me help you. Please. Tell me what you need me to do.”

Frankie looks at you, his eyes glistening with tears, and you know that he’s struggling with his demons. He collapses onto the edge of the bed. “Make it go away. Please. Make it all fucking go away.” He puts his face in his hands and sobs. 

You approach him slowly, wrapping your arms around him. You feel his body tense up before he relaxes into your embrace, his sobs muffled by your shirt as he buries his face into it, his hands fisting the fabric. You hold him tightly, feeling the weight of his addiction and the overwhelming emotions that come with it. 

“It’s too much,” he whispers brokenly. “This never-ending cycle of hell.”

“Tell me,” you gently encourage. “Help me understand.”

Frankie lets go and pulls back, giving him enough space to talk. He wipes away tears with the sleeve of his khaki jacket. “Every morning I wake up not knowing if I’m going to stay clean. I try my best to make it through another day without using, but as the hours tick by, I become restless – desperate to silence the screams in my head. I’ve started drinking more just to sleep - replacing one poison with another, I know. I wake hours later, when the drink’s worn off, to my nerves screaming out, so I drag myself to the medicine cabinet for relief – anything to stop the pain. But it’s never enough. And I tell myself that I’ll never do this to myself again, but somewhere inside I know that by the next evening, if by some miracle I don’t use, I’ll just be drunk again.” 

When he’s finished, he finally looks up. “I’m too fucking weak.”

You come down to his level and look him square in the eyes. “You are not weak. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You just need to believe in yourself.”

Frankie looks at you, his eyes filled with hopelessness. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” you say firmly, threading your fingers into his curls. “I believe in you. And I know that you can do this. It’s hard…but think of it like a skill. Something that requires practice. Think of it like… Well, like flying. You remember your first time behind the controls, don’t you?”

Frankie dips his head and then chuckles lowly. “You mean the time I tried to lift a several thousand-pound bucking bull off the ground?”

You chuckle. “Sounds about right. Tell me about it.”

“I’ve told you the story a hundred-”

“Just one more time. Please?” you beg, giving him puppy eyes that you know he can’t resist.

Frankie sighs, his shoulders falling. “I was fucking terrified. I tensed up, trying to remember everything I had learned. I couldn’t even hit the full eight seconds before the instructor snapped the controls and steadied the aircraft.”

“And then?” you goad, remembering how the story goes.

“He let me try again. And the same thing happened,” he replies. “Every time the instructor demonstrated the maneuver, I was certain I was going to nail it, but each time he transferred the controls, the helicopter began bucking wildly around the airfield. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t tame the bull. The instructor kept growing more and more frustrated. So was I. He kept telling me to get out of my head and to just fly the aircraft, but what the hell did that mean? I started to question whether I had the ability to fly.”

“Do you remember how long it took you to finally get it?”

“Nine days,” Frankie replies with a nod. “I started to give up after a week. I just didn’t have the energy or mental capacity to fight the helicopter or instruction anymore. Finally, on the ninth day, the instructor told me to take the controls and I just did it. I brought the helicopter about seven feet off the ground. My altitude was steady. I held my heading. I was flying.”

“You were flying.” You reach out and grab his hand, giving him a squeeze. “What was so different about that day, Frankie?”

“I got out of my head,” Frankie admits. “Flying has very little to do with thinking and everything to do with feeling. You have to trust yourself to just feel and respond to the aircraft.”

“What about recovery? You don’t think you need to get out of your head?”

Frankie looks at you, considering your words, a glimmer of hope flashing in his eyes. “Maybe,” he says finally. “Are you saying I need to trust myself more and feel my way through it?”

“Maybe,” you say, smiling at him. “And you don’t have to do it alone. You have me. And we can find you the help you need, the support you need. Together, we can get through this.”

Frankie nods, but his gaze darts away. Suddenly, you can see tears filling his eyes again, and he turns away to hide them.

“What is it?” You can sense there’s more.

“I really fucked up.”

“Frankie-”

“I lost my license,” he confesses before you can say anything more. “I only just found out this morning. I failed a drug test and now I’m grounded for God knows how long. Maybe forever.”

“Oh, Frankie,” you sigh, your heart breaking for him. 

“The FAA is going to strip me of everything,” Frankie sighs. “My license, my career-”

“Hey. Stop it,” you insist. “You don’t know that. It’s just a suspension, right?”

Frankie nods. 

“So, you’ll go under review. They’ll make you jump through some hoops. Maybe make you seek treatment, which you’re going to do anyway, right? Everything will be okay. You’ll be back in the air before you know it. Until then, we’ll take it day by day. I’ll be here every step of the way to support you. We can do this together.”

Frankie nods once more, his eyes still filled with tears. “Okay,” he says softly. “One day at a time.” 

You can feel your resolve strengthening. This is going to be okay… Except there’s still one more thing – something that’s going to change everything.

“I’m sorry I haven’t exactly been here for you lately,” you say. “It wasn’t you; it was me that I was avoiding. I didn’t…” You bite down on your lips before you continue, knowing this is difficult to talk about and deciding which words will help the situation. Facing him square on, you lay it out plainly. “Frankie, I’m pregnant. I didn’t know how to tell you, so I just…didn’t say anything. I was terrified that this would fuck up your sobriety, and, well – in hindsight, that was ridiculous. But the doctor confirmed it today.”

“You’re…” he falls silent. He stares at you, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief. “We’re having a baby?” Frankie’s eyes fill with tears once more, but this time they’re tears of joy.

You nod, feeling a lump form in your throat. “Yeah. And I know it’s not the best timing, which is why I didn’t want to burden you by-”

“Burden me? Baby, you’re having our baby. That’s not a burden, and even if it was, you shouldn’t have to carry it alone. I mean… Wow. You have our baby inside of you? Right now?”

You nod, giggling through your own tears, feeling a sense of relief wash over you. You realize this is what you both need – something to hold onto, something to fight for. And with each other and this baby, you know that you can overcome anything.

“Yeah,” you repeat. Reaching into your pocket, you pull out a tiny black-and-white photo that you’d rolled up for safekeeping. There isn’t much to see except what looks like a tiny gummy bear sitting in a pool of black.

“Dios mío,” Frankie utters under his breath, looking down at the image. “Do you know if it’s-”

“No,” you reply, knowing what he’s going to ask. “It’s too soon to tell. But I got to hear the heartbeat. See all these lines here? It was very strong. Just as a Morales should be.”

Frankie turns and looks at you, taking your hand in his. “I’m going to be there for you,” he assures you. “For both of you. I’m done with all this bullshit. I don’t care how hard it is. Nothing is more important than you and this baby.”

You smile, tears growing in your eyes. “Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” Frankie breathes.

“Never let me see you pack this bag again.”

Eight months later…

Your eyes flutter open. Why isn’t the baby crying? Isn’t it time for her to eat? Quickly, you grab your phone. 4:17 am. Fuck, it’s more than an hour past her feeding time. 

Moving as quickly as a new mother can, you reach for the newborn nestled inside the Pack-N-Play beside your bed – only, she isn’t there. Looking back at your bed, you see that Frankie is gone as well. The house is quiet, and unless Frankie has magically started lactating – something you’ve wished for only about five hundred times a day since Elena was born – there’s not much he can do to keep a starving newborn from crying.

Why didn’t he wake me?

As you step into the hallway, you notice a light glowing through the cracked door of the nursery. 

Quietly, you push the door open and stand in the doorway, watching as Frankie rocks a sleeping Elena, all swaddled up and snoozing on his chest. His hand slowly moves back and forth across her back, his face peaceful and content. Even in the soft light, you can see the lines around his eyes and the deep circles under them.

A wave of emotion washes over you, but you don’t say a word, letting them share a moment together.

When Frankie finally notices your presence, he looks up at you and shoots you a small smile. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Probably should’ve,” you whisper in jest, stepping further into the room. “My boobs feel like rocks.”

“I’m sorry,” Frankie says, a hint of a chuckle in his voice. “I know you haven’t been sleeping, so when she started to whine, I whisked her away and made her a bottle before she could wake you. She took to it like a champ.” 

You offer a little smile. Breastfeeding has been such an incredibly difficult journey, both mentally and physically exhausting. It took longer than expected for your milk to come in, and you never know if you’re producing enough or if she’s receiving enough. Some days she wants to eat for hours at a time, and other days she wants to stretch her feeds to where you feel like your breasts could explode. Pumping is a job of its own. To make matters worse, it’s all on you; Frankie can only do so much. But formula is expensive, so you’ve been trying to convince yourself that this is the best way.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Frankie says after a long moment of silence, likely thinking you’re upset. He’s been nothing but incredibly supportive of all your decisions.

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “No, don’t apologize. You’re her father. Don’t apologize for bonding with her. Clearly, she likes you.” You smile, but it quickly fades as you cross your arms in front of you. “I’ve actually been thinking that maybe…maybe switching to formula isn’t such a bad idea. I know it’s more money but the toll feeding is taking on me is… Well, it’s a lot.”

Careful not to wake the baby, Frankie rises from the chair and moves to the crib. He shifts her in his arms, then lays her down in her crib ever-so-gently to keep her asleep. He stares for a moment, admiring her sleeping form.

“I know, baby,” Frankie says soothingly. “Don’t worry about the money; we’ll make it work. The only things that matter are that you and her are happy and healthy. And honestly, I’m really excited at the prospect of being able to help out some more.”

You smile once more. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Frankie. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner through this.”

Frankie smiles shyly and his eyes turn softer than usual. “I’m the lucky one,” he replies. “If you had told me a year ago that this is where I’d be - happy, clean, holding the most beautiful baby given to me by the most incredible woman - I would’ve told you that you’re crazy. But, here I am. And I couldn’t have done it without you. When I failed that drug test, I thought I lost everything, and I wanted to leave so you could have the chance at finding something better. But when you told me that you were pregnant, I felt so much hope for our future. Now, I understand that life is about these choices, and I have no regrets about the path I chose to ride along. You bring happiness into my life every day, and just knowing that you love me gives me the strength to keep fighting for us.”

“I will always love you, Francisco.” You smile and wrap your arms around him, feeling your heart swell with love. "I love you so much."

“I love you too, baby.”

As usual, the two of you are interrupted - except not by the screaming demands of your adorable little tyrant. Something vibrates on the table beside the rocking chair, garnering your attention.

“Who could that be this late?” you question, seeing the screen of his phone light up for a moment before darkening. Frankie huffs and moves across the room to pick up his cell from where it lays on the little table.

Frankie looks down at the screen, his brows furrowing while his eyes seem to scan a message.

“Frankie?” you question, worry creeping into your voice. You reach for him, feeling his skin as it goes cold. “What is it?”

As he looks at you, you can see his mind running a million miles a minute through his eyes. The silence stretches for a moment before Frankie speaks again.

“It’s Pope,” he says in a tone that’s never good. “He says he’s got a job.”

[elfenbensord]

Can I request platonic George Weasley x reader remembering Fred based on the song so far away by A7X?

Maybe a month after the twins opened their shop, Fred proposed to Y/N, and she's been crying into one of his sweaters for at least two weeks after he died?

a/n: i legit forgot that fred died and was so sad when i remembered. could not find the song but listened to ‘far away’ by carole king instead. hope you like it!

pairing: george weasley x platonic!reader

summary: reader and george are managing life after losing fred just fine, until (y/n) finds a box which was meant for them. angst with fluff ending!

warnings: panic attack, grief, mentions of character death

28.10.23

so far away

It was a normal afternoon, really. The shop had been busy like always, and you’d been managing your day just fine. You and George were finding a way through life in this new, uncomfortable constellation. Trying your best to piece together what was left of your existence before.

After spilling invisible ink on your shirt – invisible, still wet – you’d gone up to the closet to find a replacement shirt.

Fred’s shirts. His knitted jumpers and corduroy pants, his fancy suit bought for a “future occasion” as he’d called it. A stray sock, a failed experiment hiding in the back. The ache that had settled into your body ever since that night became sharper, a stinging pain making it hard to breathe. To feel the smell of him, sense how his body had once filled them out with warmth and hugs. It was all too much. 

Sitting down on the floor of the closet, you try to breathe like your healer had taught you.

Out, in. Out, in. Out, in.

The ground – or rather, one of his old coats – was lumpy and uncomfortable. You try to smooth out the garment, but instead touch your fingers to something velvety, soft and delicate. Pulling the unknown object out, you drop a small, velvety black box into your lap.

Pang. There goes your heart. 

You didn’t have to open the box to know what it was. It was a promise of a future, of love, of children and house and dog and a happily ever after. All things that were now an impossible dream.

Your heart starts beating faster, launching you into a deepening spiral once again.

“Fuck”, you say between gritted teeth. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck-”

“Hey, you okay?” you hear George shout from the bottom of the stairs. “I’m just gonna close up the shop, then I’ll be up!”

Tears were streaming down your cheeks, unstoppable and wet. You were shaking, as you couldn’t take your eyes away from the box. Stupid, you thought. It’s so stupid. 

You hear George come into the hallway, closing the front door behind him. Hurrying to stand up, you wipe your face and do your best to compose yourself, before going to the hallway to greet him. 

Everything’s fine. I’m fine, you tell yourself. 

George looks tired, but there’s still the attempt of a smiling facade. “Sorry for disappearing on you, I– My shirt, it got inkstained–”

“No, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it!” He smiles softly at you. You feel as if your heart is being crushed inside your chest.

He keeps going, still not noticing your mood. “I just saw the cutest cat outside, I’m seriously considering adopting it into the shop. Wouldn’t that be cute, a cat in the shop?”

“I don’t want a cat!” You didn’t know why you suddenly got so angry. You didn’t try to hide your crying, your upsetness. “I don’t- I don’t want that.”

“Gees, it’s fine. It was just an idea.”

“Yeah, well, it was stupid”, you bite back. 

“Where is this coming from?” George’s voice is soft, his eyes glistening with concern.

You can’t hold back anymore. “I don’t want a cat, I want Fred. I want him to be here. He should be here.”

George looks back at you, eyes wide. 

You continue. “I found his stupid ring in that stupid box. And I hate it. I hate that he got a ring. I hate that it’s probably the perfect ring. I hate that I’ll probably love it. I hate that he never gave it to me. I hate that he probably had a stupid plan for proposing – don’t look so innocent, you were most definitely involved – and then he didn’t. Why didn’t he?”

After a beat of silence, George says without meeting your eyes, “He was gonna. That… That night. He was gonna do it that night.”

“Oh, God…” you sigh. 

Tears are glistening in his eyes now. He clears his throat. “For the record, I hate it too. I hate everyday without him. It’s like someone’s ripped off my arm, and my leg and a lung. Like, I don’t know how to move. How to breathe. Or to do anything.”

You look at him. “Can we just agree that this sucks?”

"Definitely."

Like magnets, you’re pulled together in a tight hug. Grasping for each other, trying to find a comfort long gone. 

You let out a sigh. “It all just… sucks so much. Too much.”

“It’s the worst!” George agrees.

Taking a breath, you say, “You know what would suck even more?”

“What?”

“If you weren’t here. Like, I definitely wouldn’t have been able to keep going without you. It would’ve sucked too hard to even try.”

George squeezes you tighter. “Yeah. I’m glad you’re here too.”

Pulling away, he smiles meekly. You smile back.

[moonmingi]

Hi!! I love your IF idea so far, and I look forward to seeing how it turns out no matter how long it takes!

This is completely unrelated, but while browsing for more, I saw you were also a skz fan! Are there any songs that you could say (more or less) relate to the ROS.

TYSM 🥹💕💕💕 I’m honored that you want to wait for the full project ahahah😭

And yesss there are song that relate to the ROS by skz (aka my beloved hehe) and I’m giving you a whole playlist to listen to lol

( may contain huge character spoilers so proceed with your own risk 💕also, my grammar kinda suck srry 😭)

Estelle : 좋아해서 미안 (Sorry, I Love You) , Star lost , Ex , Phobia , B Me , Novel

She is really lonely inside and long for someone, anyone that can understand her whether it be platonic or romantic. She is a Star Witch which most of them are underestimate and abandoned. Other powerful beings views them as if they are just a background characters only made to entertain them with a little ‘ star ‘ show and Estelle wanted, needed, to be more than that. Wanting to prove herself that she is worthy, but that come with consequences, while she is busy practicing and learning about magic, she loses connections with everyone around her and other star witches deemed her as a arrogant and full of herself. She want to fix the relationship but to scared to really do something about it. That’s when you come in to help her

( or make it worse. Your choice👀)

(More Star Witches lore drop on my demo heheh currently TBA )

Chanwoo : 강박 (Red Lights) , Charmer , WOW , Muddy Water , Give Me Your TMI , Taste , 충돌 (Collision) , Social Path (ft.LiSA) , Lost Me , Scars , DLMLU

Chanwoo is all about having fun and enjoying life ( also being flirty and stuffs) because this guy been through a lot and decided to just settle down and chill. Chanwoo viewed himself as something that cannot be turned back or changed. He already made it clear and whatever happened in the past is all his fault and now will not went back the way he is, never leaving his now persona ‘ Chanwoo ‘ , but of course there are still underlying problem ’s’ that he don’t want to ever touch again, or will he?

Daniel : Silent cry , Lonely St. , Maze of Memories (잠깐의 고요) , Chronosaurus , Voices , Grow Up , Spread My Wing , Awkward Silence

Daniel never know what he wanted to be. The first thing he ever heard is to do a better job than the old ‘ death ‘ . He was made to be cold and detached with life forms but something stirred inside him when he went out of the dark, plain realms and out into the world full of life. It makes him confused and distracted, which is the main two things that his creator are best at, sarcastically told by another powerful beings. He don’t want to be that, or do he? Maybe enjoying life is something that can be done, but while taking them too? Is that really okay? All kind of thoughts swirled in his head but cannot be let out or he will be destroyed and deemed as ‘ another failed puppet ‘

Wow that was long Ahhahah hope u guys give them a listen 🥹💕💕

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Summer Love || Drabble

Fandom: Xmen

Warnings: big fluffy feels; i'm not responsible for any damage this does to your teeth enamel

Wordcount: 2171

Summary: Love is a song that never ends; one simple theme repeating Like the voice of a heavenly choir, love's sweet music f l o w s on NOW KISS AN: Sorry the fic writer can't come to the phone right now she's dead from her own fluff

-----------------------------------------------

The trees had traded their sweet smelling blossoms for thick green leaves, gently swaying in the soft breeze of a lazy summer afternoon. Having nowhere else to be but here, Kurt was enjoying the few beams of sunlight that made it through the thick canopy, the shade provided by the greenery just as pleasant. He was waiting for someone, tail immediately happily wagging as he saw a familiar mop of wine colored hair pop up in his peripheral vision. She had been wearing it in a ponytail for most of the day, but had taken the hair tie out and was still shaking out the tresses of her hair as she approached him.

"Hi, Kurt. What was so important I needed to meet you all the way out here for?"

"I figured you deserved a little get away after all the progress you've been making. You really seem to click with a lot of the new team; you're making friends. I'm proud of you."

"Eh," Miranda replied, still not fully over her habit of diminishing her own accomplishments, "they're a nice bunch, which helps a lot. A lot of them with similar feelings to mine; makes it easier to talk about it, yknow? Until the social battery drains, anyway."

Kurt nodded, lightly leaning back against a thick tree trunk and gesturing at her to join him. She did, mirroring his pose as she allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of the afternoon.

"You're still introverted, after all," Kurt remarked, a small smile on his lips, "I don't think that'll ever change. You don't have to. I'm just glad to see you broaden your social circle. But I thought sharing a quiet afternoon together would be nice for you, after the game nights with my team and yours."

"Thank you," Miranda said softly, looking up at the canopy as it danced in the light breeze, "I wonder what it's like all the way up there. I would go look, but I haven't climbed into a tree since elementary school. I don’t think my body would appreciate the attempt."

She was suddenly very well aware that a set of eyes was watching her, to which she slightly turned her head to Kurt, some kind of mischievous emotion gleaming in his eyes.

"... What?"

"I can get you up there, if you want. Haven’t poked around in any trees lately, either; but it’s fun. I might just take you up on the offer."

Ah, right. He could bring her there in a heartbeat if she asked. She looked up for a moment longer, thinking if she really wanted that or not. He followed her gaze, looking between the leaves to conjure up a plan of getting up to one of the branches thick enough for two people to comfortably sit on.

"Just don't drop me."

"I won't," he assured, offering his hand for her to take. When she did, he pulled her close to himself, "hold on and don't let go until I say so, okay?"

"Okay."

As soon as he felt confident she was hanging on, he teleported both of them as far up as he could, hanging on to the absolute massive tree trunk and having a quick look around before beaming over to a big, sturdy looking branch that would indeed accommodate both of them. He helped her get comfortable on this tree branch first; setting her in between himself and the tree trunk before instinctively wrapping his tail around her waist twice as another safety precaution just in case she leaned too far backwards and lost her balance. She just lightly patted the tail as he sat down next to her.

"Well, if all else fails, guess I'm taking up bungee jumping."

He laughed softly, looking down and only seeing a few slivers of the ground as he did. They really were hidden away in an enormous sea of leaves in every possible hue of green.

"I don't think anyone can even see me up here; despite me usually standing out. This tree really did its best with all these leaves," he felt how she rested her head to his shoulder, quiet and gentle bliss between them as the tree had allowed them to hide away from the world for a little while.

"Hey," he started softly, "Gambit asked me to take over another training session. Given his nonsense last time I have half a heart to not take his word for it and let him sort something else out.

"Otherwise occupied?" Miranda asked, air quoting the words for emphasis to which Kurt gave a small hum of agreement with a hint of suspicion to it

"That's what he says, ja. I just wanted to talk to you about it first, before getting roped into his actions again."

"I mean, training with you is fun," Miranda quietly admitted, the hint of a blush tinting her cheeks, "besides, my footwork is still ass, I need all the help I can get with that."

"..... About that," now it was Kurt's turn to blush lightly, a very faint purple on his cheeks, "you sure you want those lessons from me? Last time seemed to overwhelm you with how close we had to be for it..."

She was suddenly painfully aware of how close they were right now, sitting upright as her heart skipped a beat.

"W-Well, I know what to expect now, it'll be fine!" it came out of her with a nervous laugh, to which he just raised an eyebrow, "it's just- Yeah, okay. You really caught me off guard the first time around. Not in a bad way, or anything, but that felt more like teaching me how to dance than teaching me footwork in fighting."

"The two do go hand in hand after all; as an extension of my gymnastic routines I took up tango. And ja, I've heard it all before. "Wow, really thought you'd be one for the waltz"- I know the waltz too. Tango is simply more fun and energetic," he watched as the blush on her face grew slightly more intense, "if you ever want to be taught either, let me know."

"Think you would get annoyed with my two left feet really fast."

"Doubt it; you trust me and don't mind following my lead. Everything else is just practice."

They sat there in silence for a bit, watching as a songbird flocked down on the branch as well and curiously observed them before fluttering of, singing a little tune the whole way it flew off

"... What actually happened in that last moment before you left?" Kurt then asked. It was something that hadn't left his mind ever since it happened, how quickly she tapped out and vanished from view when he had stopped her from falling to the ground. Her blush got worse, her invisibility flickering for a moment until she decided to make it stay off. Maybe it was a stupid thing to tell him, but it would haunt her forever if she didn't. He clearly wanted to know.

"... The thoughts on my mind freaked me out. You were so close my brain was convincing me that... that you could hear my heartbeat," she paused, the lump in her throat suddenly feeling incredibly heavy.  She just looked at him, wondering if what she was about to say would mean risk losing everything they had now. Rogue's words and implications sang around in her head, how she felt like they were actually a good match for each other. Keenly aware of the tail still wrapped around her waist, the warmth of him right next to her, Miranda debated for a moment longer on what to do before her brain agreed that taking this leap of faith to find where they really stood was better than wondering for years on end what might have been had she just told him. It was going to take every damn fiber of her bravery and her impulsion, but this felt like the only moment where she could actually tell him that-

"....... it made me want to kiss you."

Her voice was so soft, barely above a whisper as telling this made her feel incredibly vulnerable. As soon as he looked at her clearly surprised by this admission, she looked away, the blush on her face further intensifying as she flickered in and out of view again. Her power still had no idea what to do about the sensation of embarrassment, unable to decide whether that was enough to trigger her hide response or not.

"Why didn't you?"

Her eyes flicked back to him as she wanted to tell him how that seemed like kind of a ridiculous question, that of course she couldn't start randomly obeying her impulses like that with zero input from him; but her gaze got caught in his. Deep, glowing pools in hues of amber, gold and yellow that she could get lost in for hours if she only had the luxury to do so, reigniting the same desire she had spoken off. Her brain couldn’t keep up, the swirling vortex of the emotions he evoked in her too much to deal with to keep the filter on her mouth intact

"I-I wouldn't know how. This- All of this," she gestured at her own face as shades of red and pink were happily painting patches all over her cheeks, "never happened to me before, like, ever. To the point where I thought all those love songs people sing are just straight up bullshit, there's no way you can feel that way about someone, I didn't- never did, not until-"

She fell completely silent as he turned further to her and slowly placed a hand to her cheek, allowing her to simply melt into the touch and giving her a moment to breathe- quieting her mind as if entering the eye of a hurricane and enjoying the tranquility from it.

"Never?" he asked softly, and from the tone of his voice she could tell he wasn't judging her in the slightest, just looking for confirmation that he understood what she told him. She placed her hand over his, lightly nodding as she held his hand in place and tried to calm her still racing heart. Silence lingered between them for a while, pleasant and comforting yet with a spark of electricity, until he broke it.

"May I kiss you?"

She was convinced she stopped breathing for a moment, her voice completely giving up on her and rendering her speechless; she could only nod as answer to his question. He lightly moved his hand down to her jawline, running his thumb over her skin before gently pulling her in and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. It was sweet, chaste even; if she had never done anything like this before then he wasn’t going to rush her into anything more than a polite, gentle kiss like this.

Especially not when this apparently was already enough to hard crash her brain. As soon as he pulled back, he saw for a split second that the red hue on her face had fiercely deepened before her invisibility decided to finally take reign as she flickered out of view. He felt how she escaped his hand, and the weight of her head on his shoulder as she buried her face there the moment after.

"... That doesn't really work when I already know where you are, Süßer," and he really couldn't stop himself from laughing ever so slightly as a garbled, muffled response came from the invisible woman hiding against his shoulder. Another very muffled line came, and he still couldn't make out what she was saying

"I can't understand that, sorry,’ he felt her shift against him, in such a way she could actually vocalize properly instead of muffling herself completely in his shoulder while remaining out of view.

"Does this make us partners?" his heart simply melted at how softly she asked, voice tinged with worry at what his response was going to be, no doubt. Gauging where she exactly was from the weight against his shoulder and from how his tail was wrapped around her, he adjusted how he was sitting even more so he had the ability to put his arms around her.

"Do you want us to be?" he could feel her nod against his shoulder, "then partners it is."

"I'm... I know this is going to look ridiculous to anyone looking up, but, uhm, I'm gonna stay like this a little bit longer if you don’t mind. Just… G-give me a minute."

"It's okay. Take your time."

“…. W-when I do, could you- would you kiss me, again?”

“Ja. If you want me to.” He felt her nod again and mumble how she felt like her heart was going to give out, making him unable to keep a small laugh to himself; he simply found her adorable like this as his cheeks turned a much deeper shade of purple.

[legion1227]

Ranking All 111 Albums Listened to in 2023!

111. Yeat- AftërLyfe. 0.5/5

Yeat's third studio Trap album was an utter slog to get through. I hate how it sounds, many of the tracks blend together, and it's way too long. Yeat's appeal as an artist is mindboggling to me.

110. Lewis Capaldi- Broken By Desire To Be Heavenly Sent. 1/5.

Capaldi's second album harbors nothing of note and fails to engage me vocally, lyrically, or instrumentally.

109. Mia Carucci- Deities of Stone. 1/5

I appreciate it's brevity, but Mia's voice is grating to my ears and the production fails to evoke strong emotions from me.

108. Slowthai- Ugly. 1.5/5.

British rapper Slowthai's third studio album has one song, "Never Again" that is perhaps the best song on the album, but the rest of the competition is unimpressive with subpar instrumentals and lyrics.

107. Post Malone- Austin. 1.5/5.

Post Malone's 5th studio cements the notion that I am not a fan of his voice or music. His voice wavers and teeters onto annoying at times and with filler/bad bars, "I'm calling her Shrek cause she got a donkey" This is not an album I rock with.

106. Conor Maynard- +11 Hours. 2/5.

Back in 2013, Conor Maynard dropped the song "R U Crazy" which I liked then but does not hold up for me today. The songs on this album are slightly better than "R U Crazy" but are not lyrically interesting.

105. Crystal Fighters- Light+. 2/5.

The electronic indie band Crystal Fighters dropped their latest album in November and delivered an, in my opinion, underwhelming experience. With mediocre beats and forgettable lyrics, I feel there was potential for something better that they just didn't reach here.

104. American Authors- Best Night of My Life. 2/5

Best known for their 2014 hit "Best Day of My Life" the album to sequel from their hit song is too sweet and poppy. It has a positive vibe which I respect, and appreciate its brevity, but each song meshes together to create a generic, disappointing experience.

103. Youngboy Never Broke Again- Decided 2. 2/5

Decided 2 starts off terribly but gets a little better as the project goes on. Its production and lyrics are both okay towards the middle and end portions. Youngboy could've definitely stood to trim some tracks from the album.

102. Jason Mraz- Mystical Magical Rhythmical Radical Ride. 2/5.

Instrumentally, every song on the album sounds and feels different which gives it a somewhat unique listen. On that level, they surpass his 2008 hit "I'm Yours." Unfortunately, he lacks compelling vocals or lyrics. An instrumental version of this album might be better.

101. Escape The Fate- Out of The Shadows. 2/5.

The lyrics of this rock band are forgettable or incredibly cringe. "irreversible" is possibly the worst song on the album. Instrumentals carry the project slightly higher than the others.

100. Front Bottoms- You Are Who You Hang Out With.

The reverse of Front Bottoms appears as the lyrics are fine, but the instrumentals are uninspired. Lead singer Brian Sella's voice is something I can't stand with his nasally vocals.

99. Bebe Rexha- Seasons. 2/5.

Bebe's album has a decent pace and I really do like her voice, but she provides nothing engaging from a lyrical or instrumental perspective, unfortunately. "Born Again" is the only song of the 12 tracks I feel is worth a listen.

98. Scouting For Girls- The Place We Used To Meet. 2/5.

The Pop band's 7th studio album is a trying endeavor that's a bit too corny or sweet for my liking. Which might be surprising since I genuinely like their 2007 hit, "She's So Lovely" which is sweetness incarnate as a love song. The messages in some of the songs in the album are clearly made for his kids or his significant other, but it's not for me so it's ranked low.

97. Depeche Mode- Momento Mori. 2/5.

The English electronic music band's latest album was simply not for me. Lead singer Dave Gahan's low croons in his songs do nothing for me, and the instrumentals are not too fascinating. "Ghosts Again" and "People Are Good " were two of my favorite songs from the album, but nothing else really resonated with me,

96. Chief Keef- Finally Rich (Complete Edition). 2/5.

The Complete Edition of Chief Keef's Finally Rich adds seven previously unreleased songs to celebrate the anniversary of the album's release from over ten years ago. Besides the classic track "I don't like" there are no other songs that I really enjoy. There are still sparks of fun in his rap songs and the instrumentals are bombastic and go hard, so there's some credit to give.

95. Kelly Clarkson- Chemistry. 2/5

There are moments on Kelly's newest album where goodness bleeds through. "My Mistake" is her best song, but it's still a chore to go through it. The album could benefit from better production and lyrics, but at least Kelly still has some super vocals.

94. Sam Smith- Gloria. 2/5.

Chocked with features, yet none are particulalry gripping, especially Jessie Reyez on "Gimmie." It started decent with its opening track "Love Me More" but sadly wavered from there with forgettable tracks to follow.

93. John Mayer- Sob Rock. 2.5/5

Released in 2021 and resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic,John Mayer's Sob Rock carries solely on vibes. The title track is the best one, but goes down from there as the rest meander from vocals or lyrics.

92. Ten Tonnes- Dancing, Alone. 2.5/5.

Indie Rock artist Ethan James Barnett, or Ten Tonnes has decent production in his sophomore album, with hints of special moments sprinkled across the songs. It's a fine project, but nothing comes close to the acoustic version of one of his older songs, "Born To Lose."

91. Niall Horan- The Show. 2.5/5.

Another fine project from one of the former members of One Direction. There are some instances where the songwriting and vocals are strong, like in "Science" or "You Could Start a Cult," but other songs do not have the privilege to be as remarkable, unfortunately.

90. Gucci Mane- Breath of Fresh Air. 2.5/5.

Gucci Mane's newest album was too long with underwhelming features. Luckily for Gucci Mane, he outshines his colleagues and impresses at points. If the production were done by someone else, he could make something even better, I feel.

89. Robin Schulz- Pink. 2.5/5.

EDM artist Robin Schulz's best song on Pink is "No Drama" which reminds me a little of an Avicii song. Every other song is mostly serviceable, but doesn't stick out too much.

88. Rae Sremmurd- Sremm 4 Life. 2.5/5

Hip Hop duo Swae Lee and Slim Jimini do well on a few fine songs like "Royal Flush" and "Flaunt It/Cheap." Other songs don't live up to the quality, but Lee and Jimini are pretty competent in this run.

87. Taylor Swift- 1989 (Taylor's Version) 2.5/5

Taylor Swift's rereleased album 1989, which dropped back in 2014, is the weaker of Taylor's rereleases that I listened to this year. Her 'From the Vault' songs surpass the original tracklist, but they only carry so far. The big hits, "Blank Space," "Bad Blood," and "Shake it Off" have never worked for me, while the majority of the rest fall short lyrically. But still, from the vault tracks like "Suburban Legends" are really good.

86. Drake- For All the Dogs. 2.5/5

Drake's latest album is too long and at times monotonous. One of the best songs, "First Person Shooter" is brought down by Drake after an excellent J Cole verse and a beat switch that brings down the vibe of the song. There are some solid lines sprinkled throughout by Drake, but it's still overwhelmingly mediocre. Although, 8am in Charlotte is another bop admittedly.

85. Maneskin- RUSH! 2.5/5

The band starts strong with its first three tracks and then loses steam so fast. Sonically, every track varies from sounding really well to completely ear-piercing. Instrumentally sound throughout, but the fall-off is such a shame. The first 3 songs are good enough to carry it as high as it is.

84. EST Gee- MAD. 2.5/5

EST Gee is lyrically coherent throughout with a decent flow, but the production fails Gee too often. 25 Min Freestyle is the weakest song of the bunch as it lacks energy, but every other song is mostly okay. "Undefeated" and "Kadas Song" work on lyrical, instrumental, and vocal levels.

83. Idina Menzel- Drama Queen. 3/5.

The voice actress of Elsa from Frozen is unsurprisingly a great singer. "Madison Hotel" is the best song the Disney princess VA has to offer on the album. Besides that, the rest of the songs fail to meet her on the same level. If the production or lyrics were as good as her voice, Drama Queen would rank even higher.

82. Michael Bolton- Spark of Light. 3/5

The musical veteran behind classics like "How am I supposed to live without you" released a decent album that sounds better when he doesn't dip into guttural vocals. "Running out of ways" is my favorite song from the album, but the other songs could stand to be better.

81. Rick Astley- Are We There Yet?- 3/5

The legend of the Rick Roll has nothing here on the same level of his original classic, but there are plenty of fine songs in this decently paced 12-track album. Maria Love is the most intriguing song from a concept level and production-wise. While every other song is okay, I recommend seeking out Maria Love if you had to listen to one song from here.

80. Portugal, The Man- Chris Black Changed My Life. 3/5

Dedicated to their longtime friend Chris Black who died in 2019, the rock band produced a decent time with okay vocals and instrumentals, but spotty features. Grim Generation and Champ are standout songs, while the rest aren't bad but could stand to be more impressive.

79. Plain White T's- Plain White T's. 3/5

The same band behind Hey There Delilah produced a few songs here with the same cheesy earnestness. It works for tracks like Would You Even and Fired Up, but not so much for the rest.

78. Logic- College Park. 3/5.

A step down from his previous album. Not bad at all, but Logic might not be my cup of tea like he used to be when I was a teenager. His production this time around is iffy, the skits are intriguing but are too heavy in abundance, and the features fail to impress. But Logic can still impress with his lyrical ability when he puts himself to it.

77. Macklemore- Ben. 3/5

Macklemore's lyrical ability to surpass Logic by just a tad is wild to me. When he is rapping and embraces hip-hop, Macklemore is better. Unfortunately, the plethora of pop songs on here are nowhere near as good and bring down the quality. Still, it's a decent listen.

76. Rolling Stones- Hackney Diamonds. 3/5.

For a first-ever album listen from the classic rock band, I sort of expected more from them. On par with some of their classics? Probably not, but the instrumentals are enough to drive the album to become a vibe as other facets of the songs fall a bit short.

75. Offset- Set It Off. 3/5

Offset's solo record is bloated with songs that could be removed to improve the quality. But the rapper himself is lyrically decent. Coupled with features from Travis Scott and Cardi Bi among others that do well and production varying from okay to good, Offset's latest outing is an okay time overall.

74. Rick Ross and Meek Mill- Too Good To Be True. 3/5.

The collab album between both Robert rappers is a bit lop-sided as Rick Ross does a more impressive job than Meek. While Ross impresses lyrically and even has funny lines, Meek doesn't raise to meet Ross at his standard, though he has some good verses throughout. With mixed features and production alike, the album is a missed opportunity to be better than it is.

73. Kevin Abstract- Blanket. 3/5.

One of the members of the former rap group BROCKHAMPTON launched out on his own and surprised me with an alternative rock album to the usual rap he's known for. Kevin's best songs come from the crushy, love songs that remind me of old Blink 182 at points.

72. Blink 182- One More Time. 3/5.

Speaking of Blink 182, the punk rock band still presents decent melodies and instrumentals all these years later. Lyrically and vocally, there are moments where the band will falter, but there are still songs to enjoy and latch onto which is a more than welcome surprise.

71. ZZ Ward- Dirty Shine. 3/5.

A soulful artist at heart, Pennsylvania native ZZ Ward presents strong vocals in an engaging style. She harbors a little hip-hop influence in the album which I love to see. (She makes a Lil Wayne reference in a track that pops me). The features were decent on this project, but also could've provided more. Luckily for ZZ, she performs well across the album.

70. Icona Pop- Club Romantech. 3/5.

Swedish synth-pop duo Icona Pop dropped an okay EDM album that could've been more bombastic. vocally and lyrically the tracks are uninteresting as the beats carry somewhat, but they could be better.

69. Meredith O'Connor- I am. 3/5

Upon request earlier this year, I listened to singer Meredith O'Connor and her 2015 album, "I Am." With production and lyrics being decent as they are, it's O'Connor's vocals that carry the quality of the album, bringing a vibe reminiscent to someone like Cascada, which is a positive in my eyes.

68. The Hives- The Death of Randy Fitzsimmons. 3/5.

Garage rock band The Hives should have songs that work so much better than they do. Bogus Operandi and Two kinds of Trouble are two fun and intriguing listens that the other songs fail to reach the same level as.

67. Avenged Sevenfold- Life Is But A Dream. 3/5.

The metal band tried something bold with their latest project. There's electronic songs sprinkled throughout that seem to grab influence from controversial artist Kanye West/Ye. Some of it sounds fine but it's not as good as some of Kanye's older works. The production is better for the rock songs than for the electronic tracks. Above all else, it's an interesting listen.

66. Big Time Rush- Another Life. 3/5.

A nice welcome back from a boy band group that disbanded long ago and whose show I used to watch on Nickelodeon in the 2010s. Vocally, all 4 members of the group are sound, but it's admittedly hard to tell who is singing at some times. It's classic boy band material through and through and it's hard to hate on that.

65. Rita Ora- You & I. 3/5.

Her material needs better work, but vocally she is sublime. "I don't wanna be your friend" works really well as a cute way for the singer to articulate her feelings. Some of the songs feel a big generic, but some are really earworm-like on a sonic level.

64. Daz Dillinger- So So Gangsta. 3/5.

As one-half of the rap duo Tha Dogg Pound, Daz Dillinger dropped a "so so" album circa 2006. Daz and the various features have some decent lines and the production is sound and feels right out of the 2000s, but the subject matter to which Dillinger raps about could stand to be more engaging.

63. Temple of Angel- Endless Pursuit. 3/5.

This indie band has some decent songs overall, but I think they need to work on their mixing. In some songs, the lead singers voices feel drowned out against the instrumentals. With a male and female lead singer taking turns across the 11-track run, I also find the female lead singer to be the stronger of the two. I definitely recommend the album as a listen, but especially tracks like Tangled in joy, Waving to the Wind, and Secret Place.

62. Killer Mike- Michael. 3/5.

The other half of Run The Jewels manages to have plenty of impactful bars, but also comes off as preachy at times and uninspired. Shout out to Andre 3000 and 2 Chainz though for having some of the best features on the album.

61. Foo Fighters- But Here We Are. 3/5.

The first two tracks set a nice standard. "Rescued" and "You" are some of the best songs Dave Grohl and the band have to offer. There's a small downward slope in quality after the first two songs, but it's still an okay album overall.

60. Dave Matthews Band- Walk Around the Moon.

The beginning and ending tracks are some of the best songs Dave Matthews and his band have to offer. The middle portion is a bit meandering, but his acoustic, low-key songs work pretty well for Dave Matthews.

59. Metallica- 72 Seasons. 3/5.

The iconic rock band started incredibly strong with its first three tracks, but sort of drifts off into mediocrity afterward. It's roaring instrumentals and guitar riffs are dope, but could and should be better from its lyrics and James Hetfield vocals.

58. Kesha- Gag Order. 3/5.

Kesha strayed from the party days of Die Young and Tik Tok long ago, but the dive into her own psyche on this project is fascinating. Vocally and instrumentally, it holds her back. But lyrically, it's compact with thought-provoking subject matter. Living In My Head has to be my favorite song of the thirteen on here.

57. Poppy- Zig. 3/5.

Known for surreal performance art videos on YouTube, Poppy's music is as intriguing as her artwork, blending dark elements into pop-techno vibes. The first two songs are heavy into EDM as the rest lean more into pop. I would've preferred more EDM fusion but Poppy still crafted something worthwhile.

56. Daniel Caesar- Never Enough. 3/5.

R&B artist Daniel Caesar dropped a decent projects days after his 28th birthday. Vocally he's pretty good. The same applies to his lyrics, but the instrumentals are not so noteworthy. Cool and Toronto 2014 are 2 of my favorite songs from him here.

55. Ellie Goulding- Higher Than Heaven. 3/5.

Goulding's pop sounds comes across as typical sometimes, but other times its incredibly pleasant with stand out moments. Her songs for love, "Cure For Love," "Love Goes On," and "How Love" are some favorites on the album among a few that aren't as memorable unfortunately.

54. Kim Petras- Feed The Beast. 3/5.

You may or may not be aware of Kim Petras from her feature on Sam Smith's big hit Unholy, but on Feed The Beast, Petras strives off on her own in her debut album. The first half of the album is stronger with more bangers in the dance-pop project. "Alone" has to be one of my favorite songs from the album, though to be fair, it's a bit of a cheat since it interpolates the beat and instrumentals from the superior "Better Off Alone" by Alice Deejay.

53. Nicki Minaj- Pink Friday 2. 3/5.

The long-awaited sequel to one of her best projects, it could stand to be better by cutting some of the songs, but it's still an okay listen. J Cole's guest feature was the best on the album as others were more or less impressive. As for Minaj herself, she sometimes delivers and sometimes hits just right in Pink Friday 2 with some fun pop jams.

52. Miley Cyrus- Endless Summer Vacation. 3/5

Vocally, Miley Cyrus is a champion. Lyrically, she flip-flops between engaging and meh. Her lead single, Flowers, is a certified bop, but other songs like "Jaded" and "You are" are two other dope tracks. Every other song is mostly acceptable, but the album would be better if it ended on "Wonder Woman" instead of another version of Flowers.

51. Lil Tjay- 222. 3/5.

On his third studio album, Lil Tjay dropped a finely paced album with decent lyricism. He even incorporates singing elements that were surprisingly nice to accompany solid production. It's chock-full of features that are hit or miss, but Polo G is definitely a standout amongst the sea of other rappers.

50. Dave East- Fortune Favors The Bold. 3/5.

The same rapper who portrayed Method Man in the Wu-Tang series delivered an adequate album that's way too bloated. At 24 songs, it's too much Dave East to endure, but there are still some verses and bars worth praise. With decent storytelling and solid production, Dave East's album could be better if a plethora of songs were cut.

49. Rupaul- Black Butta. 3.5/5.

As someone who does not follow or keep up on Rupaul much, I was pleasantly surprised to see how good this album was. The energetic dance elements are astonishingly well done here by the drag race icon.

48. TK Blockstar- Malicious Heart. 3.5/5.

I did a review for Cave Dweller Music on this upcoming artist, but to touch on her, TK Blockstar's 2019 release Malicious Heart is a really good debut album for her with some of the best aspects coming from the production and its features. Though one of my favorite tracks has to be Came a long Way.

47. Vic Mensa- Victor. 3.5/5

A bit long in the tooth, but Vic Mensa cultivated a rap album that impresses lyrically and vocally. While the features vary in quality, Mensa delivers quality verses in a run that could stand to have some songs cut.

46. Wiz Khalifa- Decisions. 3.5/5.

A song dedicated to Nipsey Hussle was a strong beginning. From there, he mostly tackles subject matters typical to him: Weed and Women. The tracks about girls are okay, but his weed jams are fun and elevate the album to be a decent, fun jam.

45. Troye Sivan- Something To Give Each Other. 3.5/5.

The theme of love goes strong throughout the album as its main subject, and it's done incredibly well. It's a cool instrumental, EDM album that has some admirable songs across the board.

44. Ben Folds- What Matters Most. 3.5/5.

Ben Folds crafts an engaging, emotionally charge experience with superb storytelling. With simplistic instrumentals and a soothing voice, Ben puts a unique spin on songs only he could craft like "Kristine From 7th Grade" and "Paddleboat Breakup."

43. Yellowcard- Childhood Eyes. 3.5/5

A short EP that makes the most of its runtime. The Pierce The Veil feature is a great surprise, Three Minutes More is the best of the bunch, and every other song is nice to listen to sonically.

42. Ab-Soul- HERBERT. 3.5/5.

At the tail-end of 2022, established rapper Ab-Soul dropped his fifth studio album titled after his birth name. One of the better rap albums to listen to this year with good beats and bars, but some iffy features.

41. Ava Max- Diamonds & Dancefloors. 3.5/5.

Ava has a stellar voice that the instrumentals compliment nicely here. Pacing, lyrics, there's plenty to like from this project with good tracks like Ghost or Hold Up (Wait a Minute).

40. Steel Panther- On The Prowl. 3.5/5.

The raunchy comedic rock band has funny shtick that manages to entertain for at least the first half of the project. It starts wearing thin in the second half with childish jokes or remarks, but it's pretty fun to listen to at points throughout. And it definitely helps that the instrumentals are sublime for the most part for the band.

39. Rod Wave- Nostalgia. 3.5/5.

Rod Wave shifts back and forth between rapping and singing, but its the singing that's stronger from him. At 18 songs, the tracks could've been shaved off after the tenth joint. 2018 and Call Your Friends are lowkey faves with sweet or interesting messages attached.

38. Melanie Martinez- Portals. 3.5/5.

Melanie Martinez is a gifted vocalist and lyricist. There's a story told throughout the project with peaks and valleys aplenty. Contortionist and Evil are standout tracks amongst some others.

37. Jorja Smith- Falling or Flying. 3.5/5

Jorja's emphasis on love is a wholesome, fascinating endeavor. Helped with decent production, but also could stand to have some songs be shaved off to help its length.

36. Paul Wall and Termanology- Start Finish Repeat. 3.5/5

A lowkey rap album where two great lyricists trade off bars and go back and forth is a superb listen. It's a chill vibe for people looking for something lowkey to listen to.

35. Danny Brown- Quaranta. 3.5/5.

Danny Brown's solo rap joint is a somber, retrospective listen. His unique voice works for the most part, and warrants listens from fans of him and hip hop alike.

34. Pierce The Veil- The Jaws of Life. 3.5/5.

There's a four-track run from the punk album that's wild and utterly sublime.

33. P!nk- Trustfall, 3.5./5.

P!nk's vocals and lyrics are really good, with her still being outstanding this far into her career.

32. PinkPantheress- Heaven Knows. 3.5/5.

The features sort of fumble the bag, but PinkPantheress is clearly better on her own and relishes in her solo project.

31. Burna Boy- I Told Them. 3.5/5.

An improvement on his last album, Love Damini, that's carried by chill vibes and a sampling of Birthday Sex by Jeremih that I have a soft spot for.

30. Gorillaz- Cracker island. 3.5/5.

The Gorillaz do EDM surprisingly well to me, I wasn't expecting it.

29. IDK- F65. 3.5/5.

The fusion of rap, jazz, and soul, is too damn good. Some of the songs are too short and should benefit from an extra verse, but IDK can sing and rap well, it's astounding.

28. Tiesto- Drive. 3.5/5.

More of the artists featured on this lowkey album do better than others and elevate the project to be really good.

27. Olivia Rodrigo- GUTS. 3.5/5.

I didn't like as much as her first album, which is on this list, but it has a lot to offer with lyrics and her range as a vocalist.

26. Alicia Keys- The Diary of Alicia Keys. 3.5./5.

As the 20th anniversary came and went, the initial release of Alicia keys 2003 classic is iconic.

25. Mitski- The Land is inhospitable and so are we. 3.5/5.

Mitski is an impressive vocalist but her song-writing ability is top notch as she records poetry for the listener to indulge in.

24. Lana Del Rey-  Did you know that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd. 3.5/5.

Lana's songwriting and lyrics are even more sublime as she crafts a stunning effort with some easy favorites like Paris, Texas.

23. Rebecca Black- Let Her Burn. 3.5/5.

Rebecca Black recovered really well from the fiasco that was her disastrous song Friday. Tinges of darkness spread throughout to my liking.

22. Jon Batiste- World Music Radio. 3.5/5.

Jon Batiste aligned himself with a talented assortment of features to craft songs that are super solid to listen to.

21. Janelle Monae- The Age Of Pleasure. 3.5/5.

Janelle Monae crafted instant bops like Champagne Shit, Phenomenal, and Lipstick Lover, which fans of her and R&B genre should listen to.

20. Kali Uchis- Red Moon in Venus. 3.5/5.

Her soothing voice and intriguing lyrics help propel her romantic songs as some of the best tracks in 2023.

19. Taylor Swift- Speak Now. (Taylor's Version.) 3.5/5.

The obvious superior album to release from Taylor's vault this year, as opposed to the other one she dropped. The original lineup and from the vault are better here than 1989 by miles.

18. Paramore- This is Why. 3.5/5.

My favorite band dropped an album not quite as good in my opinion as After Laughter, but still a reaaaaally good listen that's gotten better as I listen more and more. Lyrically, vocally, and instrumentally, This is Why is an awesome listen.

17. Weezer- SZNZ: Winter. 4/5.

As Weezer experimented with 4 albums in 2022, one for each season, its the Winter season that may be my favorite of the bunch.

16. Bishop Briggs- When Everything Went Dark. 4/5.

Possibly the best EP I got to listen to throughout the year that makes the most of its short length.

15. Olivia Rodrigo- Sour. 4/5.

Olivia's freshman album surpasses her latest album by just a little bit with better pop-punk elements at play.

14. Dove Cameron- Alchemical: Volume 1.

sonically intriguing, one of the better pop elements to come out with decent pacing.

13. Corey Taylor- CMF2. 4/5.

The lead singer of Slipknot does well on his own swimmingly, as it works well and almost makes me want to check out the other Slipknot songs.

12. Travis Scott- Utopia. 4/5.

The long-awaited Utopia was worth the wait as it has songs that have great production and features that kill across the board from Drake to Westside Gunn to Beyonce.

11. Voyager- Fearless in Love. 4/5.

Instrumentals are godly, its vocals are a triumph, and most of the tracks here are powerful bops.

10. Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA- Scaring The Hoes. 4/5.

its not my favorite rap album I listened to this past year, but it is the most interesting by far. the production is all over the place, its loud, bold, it full of nerd samples and references to games and wrestling that I love, its awesome.

9. 38 Spesh and Conway The machine- Speshal Machinery. 4/5.

Some tracks feel like retreads of other Conway songs and albums, but there are still some great songs, samples, and features across the board.

8. Hozier- Unreal Unearth. 4/5.

Similar to Mitski, the lyrics are akin to poetry. It's a remarkable sensational achievement with highlights like Damage Gets Done.

7. Conway The Machine- Won't He Do It. 4/5.

Conway by himself surpasses the collab with 38 Spesh by just a little. Brooklyn Chop House is a masterpiece of a song where Fabulous and Benny The Butcher are sublime in it.

6. Talib Kweli- Quality. 4/5.

Released in 2002, Talib Kweli dropped a critically acclaimed album that supplies dope bars, off-the-charts production, and sublime features. if it was just a little bit shorter, it would rank a tad higher.

5. AFI- Sing The Sorrow. 4/5.

Another epic album from the 2000s, my favorite decade. The punk album floored me with nostalgia as it hits peak 2000s punk rock. Vocals, lyrics, and instrumentals are exactly what I want from a project like this.

4. Raekwon- Only Bult 4 Cuban Linx. 4/5

It's billed as a Raekwon album, but it's more of a Raekwon and Ghostface Killah collab featuring other Wu tang members. Released in 1995, the production and bars shared by members of the collective are at their best which shows why this album is among some of the best.

3. 2 Chainz and Lil Wayne- Welcome 2 Collegrove.

it's one of the most fun albums to come out this year. Chainz and Wayne go dumb for song after song as they go back and forth with memorable moments throughout.

2. Fall Out Boy- So Much (For) Stardust. 4/5.

Heaven, Iowa is the only song from the album that is weak as hell. Every other song is a strong addition. It's instrumentals, lyrics, it all is immaculate.

Czarface- CZARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE. 4.5/5. Czarface is a hip hop duo involving Inspectah Deck and Inspectah Deck. They managed to make raps about nerd shit like Marvel cool and it makes me grin ear to ear. I love almost all the features, mama's basement and marvel at that are endearing highlights. few low points but no bad songs overall. Clearly, my favorite album listened to in 2023.

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 6

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 2901

Warnings: Car Crash, mild PTSD

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Willow Bless the Broken Road

****

Annalise groggily opened her eyes, her spinning vision coming to her first. She blinked, hoping it'd stabilize her sight, but it had little to no effect. The angry dinging of her car alarm came into focus next. That couldn't be good. She noticed the deployed airbag and the near-shattered glass of her windshield and driver's side window, and that's when it all came rushing back to her. 

The tow truck. 

The red light he ran. 

Annalise finally lifted her head fully and scanned her surroundings, slightly confused as to why she faced the opposite direction she'd been going in. How hard had he hit her?

Air. Let's get some air, and then I'll call 911 and Mom. Annalise thought, staying unnaturally calm for the severity of the accident. She fumbled for the door handle and pushed the door open. A warm breeze greeted her and slightly cleared her senses. Phone. Phone. Where's my phone? 

Annalise saw it on the floorboard and reached for it. As she flipped the Razer open, she noticed a man talking on the phone nearby. She couldn't make out much of what he was saying, but something told her it was emergency services. Annalise dialed her home number, waiting for her mom or sister to pick up. Charlie answered on the second ring. "Hey, honey, are you on your way home?"

Don't cause her any panic. Play it cool. Annalise took a deep breath and said casually, "Hey, Mom, I'm going to be late."

"What happened?" Charlie asked immediately.

Shit. Mission failed. "Uh, I got hit by a tow truck outside the school."

"Are you okay?! We're on our way right now. Is an ambulance there yet?"

"I think so. My head hurts, but I don't think anything's broken, and no. No ambulance."

"Okay, we're in the car now. If we don't get to you before they take you to the hospital, call us so we can meet you there."

"Okay, see you soon. Love you."

"Love you, too, sweetie." Charlie hung up, and Annalise decided to assess the damage to her poor car, which more than likely was totaled. She stood up and immediately regretted it. Her vision tunneled, and Annalise gripped the door, praying she wouldn't pass out.

A pair of strong hands grasped her arms, followed by a familiar voice saying, "Easy, Annalise. Let's sit you down."

The person lowered her to the ground but kept a hold of her. She winced, swallowing down the nausea. Once her vision returned to normal, Annalise looked at the kind samaritan helping her and decided right then and there that God had to be playing some terrible trick on her. "Oh, God, it's you."

Jake tilted his head, smiling in confusion. "Uh, hello to you too."

Guess he hasn't heard the rumors. Annalise remarked inwardly, or so she thought, because Jake asked, "What rumors?"

"I-I said that aloud?" Annalise replied, grimacing, trying to drop her head to hide her flushing cheeks. Jake stopped her, keeping his hands firmly on her cheeks.

"Try not to move your head. I don't think your neck is broken, but I'd rather not find out the hard way. Where does it hurt?"

"Honestly? Just my head," Annalise admitted, pointing to the throbbing spot a few inches above her ear. Jake gingerly placed a hand on the site.

"Yeah, you've got quite the lump there. I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure you'll have a concussion. Does it hurt anywhere else?"

"No, weirdly enough. Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at practice?"

"Practice ended a few minutes ago. I was heading to my car when I saw the crash and you trying to get out. Kind of surprised you're talking so coherently."

"Yeah, well, panicking about the situation isn't going to help anything. It'll probably hit me later." Out of the corner of her eye, a policeman, followed by EMTs and firefighters, approached her and Jake. The EMTs replaced her friend, and the policeman questioned her about what had happened. Annalise recalled the story very matter-of-factly, told them where she hurt, and insisted her neck was fine. With that said, the first responders helped her stand and carefully walked with her to the gurney. Annalise tried to see where Jake stood, but she was whisked away to the hospital before she could find him. 

Charlie and Jackie weren't far behind in arriving at the hospital after Annalise, waiting impatiently in her room when she returned from the CT scan. Her mom, barely hiding her panic over the situation, asked shakily, "Are you okay? Where else besides your head hurts?"

"Nothing so far. I think my body might still be in shock."

"We passed the wreck from the freeway," Jackie said, a deathly shade of white. "You're lucky to be alive."

"Miss Blackwood?" The doctor stepped in, smiling kindly at me. "CT scan looks good. No bleeding of the brain from what we could see. You do have a two-inch hematoma on the left side of your head as a result of the impact, and based on your current symptoms, you have a moderate concussion. You'll want to limit strenuous activity, avoid anything that requires too much concentration, and that includes watching TV or being on the computer."

"I'm supposed to start school on Monday. Am I able to go?" Annalise asked, dreading that she may have to start late because of the wreck. She had enough attention on herself from the rumor her sister had started. Annalise didn't want anyone to think she skipped school to avoid people. 

"That will be a judgment call for you. I'll write you a doctor's note in the event you need it for any reason, although I do recommend starting out with half days for now. After today, you'll want to follow up with your regular doctor for further treatment. Do you have any questions for me?"

Annalise shook her head. "No, sir."

That said, the doctor bid them good evening and left the room. Charlie shouldered her purse and instructed, "Jackie, stay here while Annalise changes to make sure she's okay. I'm going to go take care of the payment and insurance."

Before either girl could argue, Charlie strode out of the room. An awkward silence fell over the sisters. Jackie turned around to give Annalise some privacy. While she changed into her shorts and tee, the younger Blackwood asked shortly, "Did you get my text?"

"About the rumor? Yeah."

"And?"

"I'll fix it."

"You better. What the hell? You could've done so many other things, but you chose to spread a false rumor about me and Jake Seresin? I can't be invisible when everyone knows my name at school!"

"Why do you want to be invisible so badly?"

"Because we both know Mom and Dad are going to pick up and pack up once we finish the year out and while you're off at college, I'll be starting at another new school. I don't see the point in making friends and getting close to people when I'm going to move away and will probably never see them again."

"Jake's not your friend?" Jackie inquired, turning to face her sister when Annalise placed her folded hospital gown on the table. 

"It was just for the summer. Besides, I'm sure after your little stunt with that rumor, once he catches wind of it, he'll want nothing to do with me. Come on, let's go find Mom."

Annalise turned to walk out, only to be hit by a wave of vertigo. Jackie grabbed her sister before she fell over. Clutching her head, Annalise mumbled a "thank you" and allowed Jackie to escort her out of the hospital room and to their mom. 

Annalise took the backseat of their car, sliding down to hide from the sun and to avoid noticing intersections. She would wince every time they crossed one, expecting a car to come out of nowhere and hit them. Annalise wouldn't rise out of her seat until they arrived home. There, she went into autopilot. Annalise hugged her mom and sister, went upstairs, took a shower, dried her hair, put on her Navy sweatshirt and black leggings, and called her dad to tell him she was okay. Then, Annalise headed downstairs and sat at the dinner table, eating as much as she could stomach before migrating back to her room and into her bed. Annalise attempted laying on her left side, her typical sleeping position, only to jerk in pain when the swollen lump on the side of her head pressed into the pillow. Biting back tears of frustration, she flipped onto her right side, closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep, but it wouldn't come. The throbbing of her head, the flashbacks of the wreck, and the aches suddenly overcoming the rest of her body finally broke the wall holding the rest of her composure. Annalise silently wept into the pillow, overwhelmed by the day's events.

The tears didn't last long, just enough to be a catharsis for the bottled-up emotions. It took Annalise no time to recognize that sleep wouldn't come easily, so she sat up and leaned against her headboard. The buzzing of her phone with an incoming text caught Annalise's attention. She reached over and grabbed it to see who it was from, genuinely surprised to see the name on the screen: Jake.

On a whim, or perhaps a concussion-induced one, Annalise hit "dial" before she could stop herself. He picked halfway through the first ring. "Hey! Are you okay?"

"Feel like I just got hit by a tow truck," she joked, using humor to cope with the mortification that she'd actually called him and the fact he'd most likely confront her about the rumors.

"I'd say that's about right," he said with equal humor. "It's good to hear you up and talking. That-that was a hell of a wreck. The fact you got out of the car yourself and were talking-"

"It's nothing. Panicking wouldn't have helped."

"You're something else, you know that? Are you going to be up to school on Monday?"

"Doctor said it's up to me if I feel up to it. Guess I'll see Monday morning."

"If you do, if you trust me, I can give you a ride," Jake offered, sounding almost sheepish. 

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, after all, isn't that what boyfriends are supposed to do?"

Annalise slid under covers as if hiding under them would make the embarrassment disappear. "Annalise?"

"I swear it wasn't me that said anything."

Strangely, Jake chuckled. "I know. Jackie reached out to me earlier and told me everything. I couldn't resist teasing you about it since you seem so against dating me."

"I'm not against it; it's just not true."

"What exactly did you do to earn that kind of wrath from Jackie?"

Figuring she had nothing else to lose, Annalise told him the entire conversation between her and Jackie that sparked the war between them. Her cheeks flamed when she mentioned the part about Jackie calling him her boyfriend, but Jake started cracking up at what Annalise called Orry. 

"Your humor being intact is a good sign," Jake said. "I think you're going to make a full recovery. Oh, uh, before I forget, I talked the policeman into letting me get the rest of your belongings from your car before they towed it. I can swing by and drop them off. It's only eight o'clock right now, but I'm sure you're not up to it, so I can come by tomorrow."

"Oh, thank you! Uh, you don't have to- I can have my mom pick it up. I don't want to subject you to my sister if she answers the door."

"See, I'd consider that a plus. Would love to meet the person that caused this chaos. On a different note, I'm surprised you're not sleeping."

"Can't. This headache is awful. I should probably find some ibuprofen to see if that helps." Another idea, definitely concussion-induced courage, prompted Annalise to add, "If you really want to, you can come by now. I don't care. I can assure you I'm not going to sleep any time soon."

"Give me five. I'll be right over."

Before Annalise could protest or comprehend what had happened, Jake hung up the phone. She stared at the screen, confused beyond all reason that he'd so readily agreed to her stupid suggestion. What guy did that?

I'm imagining things. That's all. The stupid concussion made me mishear him. He'll probably be here tomorrow. I need to get some ibuprofen. Annalise thought, shaking her head slightly. Rolling out of bed, she made her way downstairs to get the medicine. She could hear her mom on the phone with the insurance company about the wreck. Apparently, it paid to be friends with your agent. Jackie sat on the couch, the back of her head barely visible. Annalise wanted to join, attempting to watch for a few moments from where she stood, but the brightness of the screen hurt her head even from that distance. Annalise decided it'd be best to return to her bedroom, but as her foot hit the first step, the doorbell rang. She froze, unwilling to believe it could be him. Slowly, she turned around in time to see her mom answering it. 

"Hello," Charlie greeted, confusion clear in her voice. "May I help you?"

"Hello, ma'am. I'm Jake Seresin," he said with a charming smile. He offered his hand, and Charlie shook it. "I saw the wreck and convinced the police to let me get Annalise's belongings for her before they towed the car."

"He did more than that," Annalise said, coming to stand beside her mom. "He caught me before I collapsed to the ground and kept my head still while we waited for EMTs in case my neck was broken."

Unless Annalise was mistaken, Jake flushed at her words. "It's, uh, it's what anyone would've done. I think I just beat the others to it."

"Thank you for helping her," Charlie said sincerely, taking the box from him, "and for returning her stuff. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Annalise has told us so much about you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too, ma'am. I'm sorry to have bothered you so late. I figured I wouldn't get a chance tomorrow with practice and all, so when Annalise said I could come over, I jumped at the opportunity."

"Not a bother at all. You're always welcome here. Annalise, I'm going to bring your stuff upstairs. I'll be back." Charlie turned around, but not before she discreetly and playfully winked at her daughter.

The two friends fell into an awkward silence. Annalise shifted on her feet, unsure of what to say, so she went with the most logical thing. "Thank you for helping me earlier and for bringing my stuff. You didn't- you didn't have to rush over here."

"Can I be honest with you?" Jake rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't have practice until tomorrow evening. My morning is clear. I just didn't want to have to wait until then to see you. It's- it's really good to see you up and talking."

Annalise cringed at the implication. "That bad, huh?"

"From what I saw, the tow truck hit your driver's side wheel and sent you spinning two lanes over into a semi-truck. How you were awake, let alone trying to stand up and move... it's, uh, it's kind of a miracle you're alive."

An image of a tow truck coming for her flashed in her mind, but she had no memory of it actually hitting her. Annalise hadn't even glanced at the wreck before the EMTs whisked her off to the hospital. "I didn't- I figured it'd been- that explains why everything hurts..."

"Besides the concussion, anything else broken?"

"Not that we found. At least my hard head is good for something, although we'll find out if I need PT when I go to the doctor tomorrow. Wouldn't surprise me if I did. My left shoulder and hip hurt like crazy. My body probably slammed against the side of the car when I got hit, so... strangely, no bruising, although I've never been one to bruise. Kind of hoping it stays that way." Annalise pulled her sleeves over her fists, unsure of what to say next. 

"I hope so too. I'm g-" Jake cleared his throat- "I should get going. Told my parents I wouldn't be long."

"Yeah, yeah, of course. Thank you again for bringing my stuff. See you soon?"

"Yeah. Text me when you're up to seeing me?"

"Expect one in the morning," Annalise said with a smile. She hesitated, then stepped forward to give him a hug. Jake, unlike her, seemed to hold no reserves and wrapped his arms around her, and although the grasp itself was gentle, she could feel his fingers curling into her.

"I'm really glad you're okay," he whispered.

"Me too. Thank you for being there," she replied, holding him tighter. Annalise had never understood her romance novels when the girls said they felt safe in the arms of the men they loved, but she understood now. Something between them shifted in that moment, and somehow, Annalise knew that no matter what, Jake Seresin would have her back, would be there for no matter what. Forever and always.

****

Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @bradshawsandbridgetons @catsandgeekyandnerd @peachiicherries @multifandomcnova @fandomsstolemylife00 @bookloverhorses @mak-32 @midnightmagpiemama @luckyladycreator2

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3 Chp 4 Chp 5 Chp 6

If you're on the tag list, it's because I copied from the India Lima Yankee tag list. If you don't wish to be tagged for this story, just let me know! If you're not on the tag list and want to be, comment below :)

[mxdnightlvers]

𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐋𝐚𝐩 °˖✧✿✧˖°

➸ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: How the Genshin men react/ what happens when you lay your head on their lap. Fluff

➸𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬: Diluc, Childe, Zhongli, Kazuha

➸ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: None pure fluff

➸ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬: Gender Neutral

➸ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: hdhdhddhdi I wrote this at 11pm listening to cute love songs <3

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ 𝐃𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜 ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

You are both resting against the trunk of a tree, spent from your travels. Your head shifts against the hard oak wood, trying to find a comfortable position for your neck. Sighing, you sit up, glancing at the redhead who somehow found a way to rest peacefully against hardwood. Eyelashes glowing in the sunlight as they rest on his cheeks. Red locks draping over his eye as his head slightly tilts, a soft smile on your lips as you notice his hair slightly undone. A gust of wind blowing the hair out his face but more importantly, making you sleepy. The calming breeze that felt like it was sweeping all your problems away was also slowly lulling you to sleep. You notice Diluc’s empty lap and decide to shift closer to him. He notices the leaves crinkling around him but thought nothing of it; until he feels your weight on his lap. He almost instantly reaches for his weapon- before even opening his eyes but quickly halt his actions when he sees you smiling beneath him. His shoulders drop, fingers pinched between his eyebrows as he mumbles incoherent words to what you can only assume is him scolding you. However your smile remains and he only stares at you in disbelief. It isn’t long before he’s smiling as well as his Hand finds his place in your hair.

“Are you more comfortable on my lap love?” His voice is soft as he brushes your hair away. Hand falling on your cheek, caressing it as he awaits your answer.

You bury your head further into his thighs, giving a slight nod as you do so. “Then…I’m glad you feel that way so, get some rest okay?” You can’t see his face but you can feel his smile as he continues to run his fingers through your hair. His other hand is on your hip, lightly pulling you towards him as his thumb draws circles on your skin; a silent reminder that he’s never leaving your side.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

Everything seemed to get on your nerves today. The keys getting stuck in the lock this morning, rain falling and you were left without an umbrella, your pen almost slipping out your hands and falling into the muddy water, people knocking into your shoulders as you walk, that one fruit that was just a bit too high- Archons, you just wanted the day to be over with. You practically flung the door open, tossing your backpack across the room, sprinting towards your boyfriend on the couch, falling face flat into his lap. Childe is startled, he didn’t even get time to even say ‘welcome back’ and now your head is in lap. He opens his mouth to tease you but swallows his words when he recalls your entrance. I mean can you really blame him for wanting to tease you? You are face first in his lap. However you’re finally at peace, your head had found it’s place on the lap of the man you love, and you can already feel all your stress draining away without him even saying anything. You readjust finally snapping the ginger out of his thoughts and his hands rest onto your waist.

The other is tilting your chin lightly so that your eyes can meet his. You’re happy that you finally saw him after such a long stressful day but his eyes are laced with worry, studying your expression before he finally asks, “Is everything okay? Come on talk to me.” He’s genuinely worried, looking intensely into your eyes and you try to stifle your laugh but eventually failed. Now he’s pouting pleading for you to stop laughing at him but you don’t and soon enough he’s laughing alongside you- still pleading through short breaths. But, you weren’t laughing at him. He was so worried, so ready to make you feel better and you hadn’t even said a word. His love for you is apparent in many ways and this was one of them. So when he cares for you so deeply, how can you not help but smile. He knew this. You weren’t laughing at him at all, you were just happy. He just couldn’t help but laugh along with you, not when your cheeks are pink and hurting from smiling so much. The two of you simply at peace at having each other around. You both catch your breath and you finally tell him what happened in your day.

“Hey, it’s okay you’re home now. So rest easy on my lap, we’ll do anything you want today.” He’s determined to make you feel better and he will. Spending the rest of the day with you, and only you.

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ 𝐙𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢 ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

He was actually the one to suggest you to lay your head on his lap. A question that would have you looking at him with curious eyes but instead his words are a blurry mess as your mind is on the edge of falling asleep. It’s only when he softly taps your shoulder that you respond with a soft “hm”, reluctant to open your eyes. You readjust your head on his shoulder, using your cheek as a miniature cushion of some sort as your lover mumbles some more incoherent words. His words are like white noise, vibrations in the background that your mind never processes fully and whether it was your fatigued mind or the fabric shuffling as you fix your position, you fail to hear his words once more. However, you hear his chuckle, feeling it’s vibrations even from your place on his shoulder and soon enough, his hands are gently lifting your head off him. Losing the comfort of resting on his body has you groaning as you are forced into a lucid state. Blurry eyes meet his amber own and he tries to get his words across for the final time.

“My love, why don’t you rest your head on my lap? I’m sure it can provide you more comfort than my shoulder.” You hear him clearly this time and in your groggy, impatient state, you nod. He pulls the chair on his left over to his right, next to yours so you have more space to curl up comfortably on his lap. While he’s making sure the chairs are closely stacked together, you realize the sun is setting through his office window. There’s papers in the middle of his desk, assuming those were the ones he was working on and you slump at the number of documents that remained. Why does a funeral consultant even have this much work? “All done, you can lay down now.” His voice leaves your saddened thoughts behind and you quickly position yourself to rest on his lap. He wasn’t lying when he said his lap was more comfortable. His thighs are the softest pillows in existence in comparison to his shoulder and has your neck laying perfectly where it isn’t being strained. Your eyes are struggling to stay open once more as you let his breathing and the sound of pen writing against paper lull you to sleep.

“Rest up for now my love, we’ll be home soon.”

⋆┈┈｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ 𝐊𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐡𝐚 ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡┈┈⋆

The sunset cast its golden hue across the green landscape, mountains seemingly glowing, trees showing off their beauty, animals carrying its kin home. The clear, refreshing scent of the air, water that almost looked animated, glistening as it flows. You and Kazuha shared a peaceful moment together at a mountaintop as you retire for the day. Two of you silent, listening to the soft hums of the wind as the leaves sing along as the birds call out for the last time for the day. Tilting your head towards the samurai who held a leaf between his index and middle. Releasing it to allow it to fly away with the wind, ruby eyes watching its elegant movements dancing in the wind. Those same ruby eyes turning to meet yours, a golden hue over them as they shimmer in the sunlight. A soft smile across his lips, voice as soft and gentle as the scenery around you, “Is something the matter my dear?” You nod as you refocus your gaze onto the sunset. Hands propped behind your back as you relish in the calming feeling of another gust of wind, eyes closed as it whims past you.

Your eyes couldn’t help but focus on your lover once opened. Without thinking too much, you shifted closer and made yourself comfortable on his lap. His eyes are wide as you fix yourself but ultimately softening once finished. His hand laces with yours, thumb drawing unintelligible patterns as you both gaze off at the scenery. You’re watching the contrasting colors of the environment around you as they glow and dim when you hear a soft sound. Gentle and soft as the wind but instead it’s Kazuha, softly humming along. You say nothing but lean your head closer into his thighs, a silent acknowledgment and he holds your hand tighter at this gesture. Entranced by the nature around you and most importantly; your lover softly humming to you, any worries you may have had earlier is slowly draining away, allowing your body to rest.

“Relax dear, the moon is yet to rise.”

[neochan]

GENRE | smut, idolverse!

WARNINGS | smut

WC | 2.6k +

A.N | this is a repost of my older work. i hope you enjoy it <3

You could still hear the unintelligible screaming of thousands of fans as the boys filtered off the stage and into the greenroom. Another successful concert in the long string of tour stops. You couldn’t even remember what state you were in because the days of traveling, unpacking, setting up, and doing it all again the next day ran together.

The boys were dripping sweat, immediately grabbing bottles of water and towels to wipe themselves off. They had worked harder than normal today since during one of the sets the microphone cut out and they had to perform acapella. Someone was getting fired for that.

Taeyong flopped onto the leather couch dominating the center of the room, water in one hand, phone in the other. “People are already uploading photos.” He outstretches his arm so the others could view the pictures pulled up on his screen.

“Johnny you look ridiculous,” you point out, laughing as a fan had caught Johnny in the act of wildly waving his light stick.

“I was having a good time, okay?” He chuckles and walks into the dressing rooms to change out of his stage outfit. Half of the group filtered out to change and half stayed to peruse through the gifts left by venue staff and play on their phones until told otherwise.

You were wondering where Hyuck was when you heard his voice from the hallway. He saunters in and gives you a kiss on the cheek, “Enjoy the show?” His golden skin was tainted pink, hair matted to his forehead by the sweat that was trickling down the side of his face. He grabbed his shirt and lifted it to swipe at his face, revealing his cute tummy. You had to resist the urge to poke it.

“I enjoyed hearing thousands of pretty fans scream your name” You give him a smirk knowing that he hates when you downplay your relationship.

He nudges you with his shoulder, “You know I meant the songs,” his doe eyes look into yours, his long lashes brushing against his cheek when he blinked “Besides, you know I love you and only you.”

Mark began to nervously giggle in the corner while Doyoung made fake gagging noises from the vanity he sat at. “Oh, shut up.” You say, throwing empty water bottles at the two, “And hurry up I wanna go swimming before it gets too late.”

The ride home was peaceful once the swarms of fans cleared a path for the bus. Per the managers request you slouched down in your seat so know one could see you through the window. It didn’t make much sense because the windows were tinted, but Haechan had to argue for his life to allow them to let you tag along on the tour, so you didn’t question them. Once you were on the road, you sat back up and snuggled close to Haechans side. He rested his hand on your thigh, absentmindedly stroking you with his thumb. His head leaned back against the seat, eyes closed, listening to music. It was so loud you could almost make out the words but you didn’t say anything – you let him stay in his post concert utopia for the whole trip.

The hotel was about an hour away from the venue so that no one would find them, and they’d be closer to their next destination. It was nicer than the others because it actually had a pool. You and Haechan made an agreement to go swimming after the concert, and you couldn’t wait. The staff also rented more rooms, so instead of four people to a bed, it was just you and Haechan.

After checking in everyone filtered off to their rooms leaving the both of you to freely do whatever you wanted - within reason of course. You both got changed, your gaze admiring the hard lines of Haechans back. “Don’t stare.” He blushed, wrapping a towel around his upper body.

You pulled on your bikini which made Haechan go silent. You specifically picked this one because it brought out your skin tone well, and cupped your features beautifully. “Now who’s staring?”

It never failed. The butterfly feeling you got in the pit of your stomach when Haechan watched you with loving eyes. You wrapped a towel around your waist, allowing Haechans eyes to roam the tops of your breasts, peeking out from the almost too small bathing suit.

His cheeks turned pink once he noticed he was caught, “Let’s go”.

The hallways were quiet since it was almost midnight, so you wordlessly made your way down the stairs and out into the night air. It had grown considerably cooler than when guys first arrived that morning, but the sky made up for it. Pretty stars pricked the vast expanse of dark blue and black infinity. You could see the moon peaking out from behind a single cloud, casting a shadowed glow on Haechans honey skin.

The gate was closed when you walked up to it so you stopped to read, “Aw man, the pool closed an hour ago,” You set your lips in a pout, “no wonder the lights weren’t on.”

“Hey it’s okay, no lights, no cameras, they probably wont even notice we’re here if we keep quiet.” He moves closer to you, eyebrows raised expectant for an answer.

You hesitated wondering if you really could pull it off, after all you’d been looking forward to this for the whole day, “I don’t wanna get in trouble..”

“You said you wanted to swim and I’m going to make sure that happens,” He gets down on one knee, “step on my leg, I'm gonna help you jump the fence.”

He boots you over, and grabs your arms to help lower you on the other side, but his hand slips and his nails dig into your shoulder. “Ow, fuck.” You wince rubbing the spot he scratched.

“Sorry, sorry” He says giggling, jumping the fence with such quietness and ease that it looked unreal. “Come on, dare you to do a canon ball!?”

He ran ahead throwing his towel on one of the pool chairs and jumping in the water. You cringe away from the loud slap his body hitting the water made. You walk slowly to the chair, deeply inhaling the addictive chlorine scent.

He finally stands up waist deep in the water and pushes his hair back. The blue water reflected against him, making his skin sparkle. “Come into the water y/n” he splashed some water into your general direction, but not enough to touch you.

“Okay, Okay.” You drop the towel and slip into the water. It was cold. Really cold. You gasp and recoil away, but not fast enough, because Haechan has wrapped his arms around you and started carrying you towards the deep end. You struggle a bit in his grip but his arms provide an iron cage that you can’t get out of. “Haechan let me go!”

He presses a warm kiss to the back on your neck but doesn’t comply with your wishes, instead making a curve and bringing you towards the underwater benches. He fixes his hold on you so that now he’s carrying you bridal style. You stare up at him, water droplets falling off his chin. His eyes were already red from the chlorine and you hoped that it cleared up by tomorrow nights concert. His plush lips sat in a pout, strong jaw set. He was so very pretty; and all yours. You smiled to yourself, deciding to keep that image locked away in your memory forever.

Once he gets to the benches he sets you down and glides in beside you. “You know It’s colder than I thought it was going to be.” He lifts a hand and sheepishly rubs the back of heck, “and you look way hotter in that bikini than I thought you would.”

“I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a dig or a compliment.” You scoot closer to him so that your thighs were pressed against each other. Finding his hand underwater, you intertwine your fingers with his own.

“A compliment babe.” He chuckles and slouches in the water so that only his head sat above it. You both sit there for a moment until it becomes too cold to sit still.

“Well I’m going to put it to use and go swim.” You push off from the cement and paddle around. The only way to stay slightly warm was to keep moving. Haechan watched you, eyes crinkled in a smile, bottom lip caught between his teeth. It was fun to watch you play in the water but the bathing suit was making him think of other things you two could be doing.

And that was how it stayed. Haechan watching while you performed for him.

A while had passed, the calm exterior of the pool getting to you, making you drowsy. The cold blue water washed over your hands while you gently skimmed the surface, making your way over to where Haechan was. You hummed a short tune under your breath, trying to keep yourself distracted. it was close to one in the morning now, but Haechan still sat on the bench, slightly shivering from the brisk air, hands gripping his thighs under the water while his mind wandered far away from the present.

“Watcha thinkin’ about” you ask, moving closer to him, hoping to catch some lingering body warmth.

“Fucking you ,” he moved off the seat and dove under the surface, only leaving small ripples in his wake. You stand there for a second wonder how he could be so blunt, so forward in his desires; he was never like this.

He swam a single circle around your body before popping up in front of you, giving you a mini heart attack. He pushes you back against the tiled walls, “I’ve spent the last hour thinking about fucking you. Thinking about how pretty you’d sound.” His head dips down to kiss along your collarbone, and your hands grab the back of neck, holding him there while his tongue sucked bruises into your tender skin. His hands grazed the bare skin of your arms, giving you goosebumps.

He moaned into the side of your neck, biting and sucking away, wanting you to yearn for him like he did for you. He lifted his head so that his mouth hung over yours, his small puffs of breath fanning over your face while he tests the waters. “Can I kiss you?”

Without giving him an answer you pull him closer by the roots of his hair. His kissing was messy and sweet, and while your tongues moved together, his hips began rubbing circles against you, trying to gain some friction in the cool water. Small heavy breaths were the only sound you could hear, aside from the occasional splash as Haechan moved restlessly.

Your hand wandered down his chest and below the surface to where you could feel him straining against his shorts. You began to stroke him over the fabric, his hips pushing against your touch. He broke the kiss to watch as you peeled down the elastic from his hips, his cock freed from the restricting material of his swim shorts. You watched him twitch slightly as the cold water met his length.

“You can’t make any noise.” You place a single finger against his lips.

“No promises.” He whispers, a devilish smirk breaking way on his face. His hands caress you thighs, pushing your bottoms to the side. The cold water hit you, making you gasp and push into Haechan who just whimpers against your touch.

He tried to stay quiet, only soft grunts between gritted teeth and muffled moans as his hips pushed into your own. The water created resistance but it just enhanced how good he was feeling. He hurriedly grabs at your legs, pulling them up so that they sat around his waist. Your back dragged up the tiled walls, scraping your tender skin, but you could only focus on Haechans cock thrusting deeply in and out of you. He stared longingly into your eyes, filling you up completely, wanting to savor the way they fluttered in the back of your head.

“You love the way I fill you up huh?” He groans into your ear, a hand falling forward to grip the cement ledge of the pool.

You couldn’t respond without fear of moaning so you nod your head wildly. He began to bite and suck at your collarbone, pushing you closer to the edge. Looking down he sees your nipples, erect, poking through the wet fabric of your bathing suit. His eyes grow wide, hips stuttering into you. Fuck you were hot.

“Haechannie, I think I’m going to come.” You squeezed your eyes shut trying to focus on the feeling coiling in your stomach.

“Not yet.” He growls, hands moving to pin your wrists against the cement ledge, “Hold it princess, I know you can.” The water began to slosh around faster as Haechan thrusted harder into you. The sound was so loud its no wonder you didn’t hear the keys jangling against the hip of the guard making his way towards you two.

“Hey!,” he shouts running towards you, “The pool is closed! Get out! Are you two-” He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as you and Haechan spring up out of fear and take off. It was easy to push yourself up onto the pool deck. The guard made the mistake of following you two and leaving the gate unattended. You and Haechan ran out, giggling, making your way back into the hotel. You didn’t stop until you got into the room and slammed the door behind you.

With your heart hammering in your chest you lean against the dark cherry wood . “Holy fuck we could’ve gotten in serious trouble.” You gasp out, clutching a hand against your wet bathing suit top.

“Babe we’ll be gone by morning, no one is gonna know.” Haechan paces in front of you trying to catch his breath. His shorts hung dangerously low on his hips, it was miracle he got them up in time.

“We’re so banned from this hotel.” A knock on the door makes you jump away from it, the worst of punishment's filling your mind. What were they going to do? They couldn’t arrest you, could they?

Haechan walks forward and turns the knob slowly, revealing a sleepy Doyoung. His oversized t-shirt hung off one shoulder showing off his gaunt collarbone. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“What do you want Doie?” you ask softly.

“How was getting chased by the guard?” he gives a sleepy chuckle, still half in his dreams.

“How did you-,” A look of realization hits Haechan, “You reported us?” He whined, pushing Doyoungs bare shoulder so that he stumbled back.

“Sound travels over water dumbasses and you guys were loud, I was trying to sleep!” Protesting, he pushes Haechans wet shoulder back.

“Well, now we’re going to be twice as loud.” Haechan slams the door in Doyoungs face and grabs you, throwing you on the bed. You give a squeal, and hear Doyoungs fist hit the door.

“I swear I’ll make a noise complaint.” He sounded more irritated than sleepy now.

“Go ahead, you’re just mad I’m getting laid and you aren't.” You playfully slap Haechans arm, but he nips at your hand. The other side of the door grows silent, Doyoung either going to report you two, or going back to his room defeated.

“Shall we pick up where we left off princess?”