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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 6 months ago

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When They're Drunk| Maknae Line

Their drunk shenanigans Warnings: Mentioning of alcohol (obviously), Slight suggestion in Seungmin's

Hyungline

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Han|

You internally cringed as you saw another innocent pedestrian about to cross your path.

You reached out to grab Han before he started to head over but it was too late.

"Excuse me! Excuse me!" He said waving to the old man.

Bless the grandpa's heart as he adjusted his hearing aid and prepared to tune into Han.

"Baby leave him-"

"THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND Y/N!! ISN'T SHE SO PRETTY!!" He exclaimed excitedly gesturing towards you. "And she's really nice and funny! And when she laughs too hard sometimes she snorts and sounds like a pig!" He shares, bouncing on his toes with a surprising amount of poise considering how plastered he was at the moment.

He spotted another couple walking and made his way over.

"OHMAGOSH HI! YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER! HAVE YOU SEEN MY GIRLFRIEND? WE'RE CUTE TOGETHER TOO!" He motions you over and you feel extremley embarassed as Han goes into detail about the uneven pitch you use when singing to the soundtracks of Disney movies while cleaning around the house and "How friggin adorable" it is.

This continues all the way to the guys dorms.

Every single time Han sees a person he just has to inform them that you are his girlfriend and he is completely head over heels for you.

You step into a convenient store just a block away from the house to pick up some hangover medicine, orange juice and Han's favorite brand of popsicles for the morning after a long night out.

He ends up wandering away for a second and you decide to pay for everything first and then go to find Han.

You find him sitting outside with the owners of the stores son, talking his ear off as he finished up an assignment you assumed was due in a few hours considering the lightening sky.

"See! Look! There she is! The girl I was telling you about? She's my girlfriend!"

The kid took a sip from his milk.

"I have a girlfriend too! Does your girlfriend like watching cartoons too?"

Han shakes his head. "My girlfriend is too smart for cartoons, she likes watching crime documentaries."

"Oh." The kid said ripping open a package of sweet bread and then tearing a piece off for Han. "Does she like playing Roblox."

Han nods. "Yeah sometimes she scams kids on there with one of my best friends!" He says as he bites into the bread. "Buh ond haima mahy fer!" He says with a full mouth.

You chuckle and go to grab your boyfriend. "Now what did you say?" You manage to laugh out as you pull him up.

"I said one day I'm gonna marry you!" He exclaimed as he waved bye to the kid.

"Are you now?"

"Yep! So then I can tell everyone you're my wife." He said his eyebrows wiggling.

"I'm hoping you mean you'll tell everyone I'm your wife when your sober-"

You don't even finish your sentence when you spot Han frolicking over towards his next victim of oversharing.

You resolve to not even try to stop him.

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

Felix|

You tucked Felix in and placed a cold bottle of water next to him on the coffee table. Jisung was in the inflatable bed on the other side of the room passed out and snoring next to Jeongin - both of the boys falling asleep the minute they had hit their pillows. The other guys were sprawled out in various places in your childhood home. Chan sleeping on the cool tile floor at the entrance of the kitchen.

This was all due to the excessive amount of alcohol the boys had consumed. You had decided to bring them to your home in America, and they had seen a cute little Mexican restaurant while driving towards your home and wanted to eat there for dinner.

You immediately said yes because it had always been your favorite place to go. Birthdays, graduations, baby showers - your 21st birthday. The owner's son worked for a place that distributed tequila, so the number of margaritas - and a variety of them as well - that the restaurant sold was always a motivation to go.

And once the boys tried one, they couldn’t stop.

The amount of margaritas that had been downed by them was slightly concerning - especially considering they weren’t used to drinking cocktails with such high ABV.

Felix looked up at you and smiled softly, his freckles highlighted by the lamp next to the arm of the couch.

“You sleepy?” You whispered as you moved a few strands of hair out of your boyfriend’s face.

He nodded. “I have to go to sleep. So I can make you brownies tomorrow.”

You chuckled and stared lovingly at him, gently poking a few of his freckles.

“We can make them later in the day, you can sleep in.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t sleep in. I want to see everything.”

“We’ll be here for two weeks, Lix. And I already planned tomorrow as a rest day for everyone to get over jet lag. My mom is making brunch so you don’t have to get up until at least 12.”

Felix shakes his head. “No…I have to make brownies tomorrow.” He mumbles. He opens his brown eyes and smiles.

You laugh. “Why tomorrow?”

“Because I’m gonna marry you.” He says quietly. “ I’m gonna put your ring in a brownie. And I don't want to wait. So I have to do it tomorrow."

You paused the gentle caresses of his face and he closed his eyes his lips quivering softly.

“I ruined your surprise.” He says his voice breaking quietly. “Are you mad?” His warm brown eyes searched your face for any sign of anger; but it was void of anything but utter lovesickness.

You let out a breathless laugh. “No of course not. I can’t wait either.”

“Does that mean you'll say yes?” He asks quietly, his eyes getting droopy with sleep.

“Y-” You’re answer is interrupted by a loud snore coming from Seungmin and Hyunjin letting out a whimper.

“Y/N my head hurts, can I have medicine?” He whines quietly.

“Yes.” You answer- both to Hyunjin and your sleeping angel of a boyfriend.

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

Seungmin|

"Seungmin get that glass away from your mouth." You groaned as you snatched a Spongebob shot glass from your boyfriend's hand. On your first date back home you had taken him to the mall and he had strolled into a store that had sold everything from t-shirts and hats to shot glasses and other...adult things.

"SeUnGmIn gEt tHat GlAsS aWay FrOm yOur MoUtH." He mocked as he sat on the couch and pouted.

"Babe you've had a lot to drink. And you have nothing in your stomach. You're a mess."

His reply was quick. "You're a mess because I'm not in your stomach."

You turn around and Seungmin had a confident smirk on his face, although what he just said didn't make too much sense realistically.

Seungmin was rarely ever flirty. When you had started your relationship you had told Seungmin you wished to stay abstinent until you married him. Which you were sure of doing. Seungmin had quickly agreed; but with that agreement he was always careful with the way he flirted and joked because he didn't wish to bring you any discomfort.

You chuckled and went a leand down in front of Seungmin.

"Hmm? Really?" You cooed.

Seungmin gave you a sultry look and pulled you on top of him. His lips made contact all along your face and he slowly brought them down to your jawline.

"Mmm." He continued kissing your neck and you smiled as you stroked his hair. "I love you so much. I want you so bad."

You laughed as Seungmin's kisses came to halt, and he quickly but carefully removed you from his lap and rushed to the bathroom.

You followed him soon after because you heard him wailing.

"Minnie baby whats wrong?" You whispered as you sat with him on the bathroom floor.

"I-I-I took ad-advantage of y-you. You wanted to-to wait and I-I..." He wasn't able to finish his sentence before he leaned over the toilet seat and started to heave.

Although it was barely useful since there wasn't much for him to actually throw up.

"Minnie baby you didn't take advantage of me. I fully took part in flirting with you too. And just because I don't want to have sex at the moment doesn't mean I don't want to flirt with you like that. I just don't want the full on intimacy yet."

You stroked Seungmin's hair, and waited for him to feel better.

"Just to make sure it's not because I'm ugly right?" He asked plainly looking at you dead in the eye.

You sputter out a laugh. "No of course not! I think you're so fine it actually concerning." Seungmin hmmed and rested his head against your chest. "Its just my personal preference to wait." You assured him.

He sighs and nods. "Okay just wanted to make sure." He stated as he lifted the Spongebob shot glass up to his mouth again quickly dowing the contents before you could tell him not to or snatch it way again.

"Kim Seungmin! I thought I told you no more tonight!" You said, referring to his drinking activties.

"You'll be telling me that a lot more once we're married." He pulls himself up on his two feet and wobbles slightly.

Then a shit eating grin plasters itself on his face.

"I'm just telling you right now I suck at listening."

(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)

Jeongin |

You walked into the guys' dorm and saw Jeongin crying on the ground.

“What's wrong?” You asked Felix as you slipped off your shoes, and into a pair of slippers Chan had purchased for you once you and the maknae of the group had started dating.

“He’s drunk.”

You hung up your coat and frowned. “He doesn’t usually get this way though.”

“That’s because he saw a picture of your boyfriend.” Minho commented, trying to suppress a laugh as he took a sip from his glass, and continued watching Jeongin flail on the ground with all the other boys.

“M-Mi-Minho Hyung s-stooooo-stoooo-sttooppp.” Jeongin barely managed to say through his choked sobs. You looked over at Chan in concern but he was crying from laughter, barely able to keep his phone in the same upright position as the rest of the members.

Jeongin was never going to live this down.

“But he's my boyfriend.? You say in confusion.

Hyunjin is on the ground with Jeongin scrolling through his photos.

“Look Jeongin- this is Y/N and her boyfriend at the award ceremony. He thanked her while he was on stage and she was sooooo happy about it. And she even joined him and his band for dinner.”

“Sh-she-she didddddd?” Jeongin cries out with a heartbreaking pout on his eyes focused on the picture Hyunjin was showing.

Of you and Jeongin.

“Yep. And they even shared a piece of cake. Specifically strawberry cheesecake.”

Jeongin starts to sniffle again, and then hiccup and the water works began once more.

“Y/N lovesss stra-strawb-berry cheesecakkeeeee.” He whined loudly, his sobs almost loud enough to overpower the laughter in the room.

You can’t help but laugh as you go to make your way towards your boyfriend, who has snot running down his face.

You wipe it away with the sleeve of a hoodie he gifted you and shush him.

"Innie its okay don’t cry.” You giggled as you cleaned up his face. His narrow eyes were puffy and sad but still unrealistically beautiful.

“But Y/N ha-has a boy-boy-boy-friendddddd. And he-he looks so so hand-ndsome she’ll never-never leave himmmm.” He cries out again, letting out a strangled sob that sounded strangely ogreish. "He-he's like SO se-sexy!" He chokes.

You laugh at Jeongin's unknowing drunk narcissism.

“Baby, you’re right. You are very handsome and sexy and I’ll never leave you.” You chuckled along with the rest of the guys as Jeongin’s cries suddenly came to an abrupt halt and he stared at you with watery eyes. He then turned towards Hyunjin and grabbed his phone, putting it close to his face, like a child with a tablet and he hiccuped.

“Oh wait that's me." He murmurs as he stares at the screen intently and zooming in on both of your smiling faces. "Y/N look at you you look so pretty!” He hiccuped once more as he turned Hyunjin’s phone towards you. A smile on his face - a complete 180 from 30 seconds ago.

The members were saving their videos.

“He’s never living that down.” Channie says as he slips his phone into his pocket.

You laugh and Jeongin continues to stare at the phone his lips turning downwards, the bottom one starting to tremble and Jeongin’s hiccups and breathes coming more rapidly.

“Baby whats wrong?” You asked as he clutched his hyung’s phone in his hand.

“I-I-I’m Y/N’s bo-boyfriend…b-b-but-but I’m not her h-husbanddddd.” He threw his arms around you and this time his cries were twice as loud as his fellow band members hit their record buttons again.

#stray kids reactions #skz reactions #skz x reader #skz imagines #jeongin #skz felix #lee felix #yang jeongin #skz seungmin #kim seungmin #skz jisung #han jisung

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alchemistc · 6 months ago

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Donato spots it first - Tommy's been fidgeting with the just-too-short sleeves of his shirt for the past ten minutes, fingers curling into the ends of the arms, thumb sliding along the hem like maybe he could make them long enough to fully cover his wrists just by thinking really hard about it. It's stretched tight across his shoulders, the neck hole feels too high, biting into his skin, and Tommy is absolutely certain it's been hemmed in at the fucking waist, because he can barely keep the damn thing tucked into his pants.

(The cost of having those fucking magnificent gazelle legs is apparently torso space.)

"You shrink your shirt in the wash again, Kinard?"

Tommy's been begging their vendor to switch to a jersey blend for years because 100% cotton undershirts are a goddamn bitch and a half to maintain.

Tommy thinks about ignoring the question entirely. They've been razzing him for weeks about the way every single smile line in his face has been putting in overtime lately.

And then she gets a closer look at it. The merch is usually the same cross-department, but every once in a while some probie will get stuck with the task of ordering a few extras to have as backups around the station and they'll go a little too hard on customization. Like, for example, the one he'd picked off the top of his clean laundry basket without looking in his rush out the door this morning.

Lucy's eyes narrow. She reaches forward, pinches the 118 emblem blazing across the breadth of his shoulder, takes in the color and sturdiness of a shirt he definitely can't play off as being old enough to have been from his own time at the One Eighteen.

Donato grimaces so mockingly Tommy nearly warns her that her face'll get stuck like that. "Christ, Kinard, how fucking domestic are you two?"

(Three days off together after a week of getting by with random texts, their schedules nearly opposite, and when Evan had stared at his overnight bag on day two and realized he didn't have any spare undershirts he'd pouted up a storm about the fact that if he had to go back to his place it didn't make a lick of sense to turn right back around to Tommy's, so Tommy had just thrown Evan's dirty undershirt in with the rest of his own laundry. And then prompted Evan to throw all his other stuff in the wash too. Halfway across the city, Evan is definitely rolling too-long sleeves over his palm with the tips of his fingers and Tommy does not have time to think about how much he likes the idea of that )

"He doesn't even know my how I take my coffee," Tommy snipes, like that avoids the question, and across the locker room Johnson slams his locker shut with a snort.

"Because you've been using his increasingly more desperate attempts to figure it out as some weird intricate mating ritual for three months now."

"It's about --."

"--the journey, not the destination," they both interrupt, eyes rolling, and Tommy doesn't bother to try to hide the grin in his face.

"He just wants to get it right so bad."

Donato's face is unimpressed. "Ugh. Can you please stop being so smitten right in front of me? I'm gonna throw up."

Tommy leans in for the kill. "Your wife ever buy you flowers, Johnson? Because I've been trying to decide how much thought went into the arrangement he brought me on Saturday, and I figure -." He dodges the palm Johnson extends towards his face with a bark of bright laughter.

---

Evan 2:15 PM

Boyfriend privileges are a SCAM

Evan 2:15 PM

Why is YOUR NAME on the back of this shirt? There's no way that's standard

Evan 2:16 PM

Chimney's being homophobic

Evan 2:19 PM

Nvm Gerrard saw it and now I'm just sad he didn't actually have a heart attack about it

#bucktommy #bucktommy ficlet #oh shirt sharing/stealing my beloved #tommy and buck secretly enjoy the razzing so much they make it a point of being obnoxious about how smitten they are

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booty-uprooter · 4 months ago

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some tips on how to make bosses easier if youre feeling theyre too hard:

play a ranged physical dps class. that way you can hang back to keep an eye on the arena and what the boss is doing without having to worry about needing to stand still long enough to complete an induction

on that note, inductions are considered finished before the bar is full. you can usually move right before it fills and still have it go off, but it takes some trial and error to figure out how close you can cut it

move your ui around. my own life was made immeasurably easier when i put the target right above my hotbar so i wouldnt have to pay attention to both the top and bottom of the screen at the same time, but try stuff out and see what works best for you

the best time to mitigate an attack is right before the boss finishes casting it. the second best time is as soon as the mit becomes available, every time it becomes available

use addle and feint. you almost never see these used in casual content and it's a waste because they really are extremely useful skills at any level

use arm's length and surecast. there are some knockbacks they dont work on but those are rare. if you know youre gonna get pushed, use these and you probably won't get pushed

take advantage of duty support. the npcs know the mechanics. watch them and let them teach you

particle effects cant hurt you (usually). with the exception of puddles that stay on the ground for a while or layered stacks like akh morn, as long as youre not standing on the marker when it disappears (or are if it's a stack), you're in the clear. feel free to move through the animation if necessary. more and more mechanics require you to do so to be in position for the next one in time

it's usually fine to let spread markers overlap. just, yknow, make sure another person isnt in yours (though its the responsibility of anyone without a spread to keep themselves out of harms way)

when in doubt, ask your party members. it's extremely rare to match with a group of randos and have everyone be a first-timer. most players are happy to help, and the ones that know the mechanics but are bad at explaining them will usually just stick a marker on themselves (usually a triangle) for you to follow

read your tool tips. boss fights are as much a test of how well you know your class as they are your ability to read and react to mechanics. unless youre playing a healer or paladin, youre going to use your entire kit, so make sure you know what everything does

on that note, freecure is a scam. once you get cure ii/benefic ii, you will never need cure or benefic again. keep them on your hotbar for when you get synced content if you wish, but otherwise you do not need them. do not use them

if you play multiple classes, try to keep skills that do the same/similar things at the same spot on your hotbar. this isn't always possible bc despite what some may claim, not all classes of the same type are actually identical, but it will save you a lot of headaches

entirely new and unique mechanics are rare to the point of being nigh nonexistent. everything is a remix of something else and practicing in lower level content can actually be a big help

look up guides. the internet is full of them in pretty much whatever form works best for you (though they can be of admittedly variable quality)

turn down party effects. theyre on one of the tabs under character configuration > controls. if you put them on minimum you can still see heals and such but you wont have your screen constantly full of explosions

turn on target health percentage. this one is under character configuration > ui. it lets you better see how close the boss is to going down

make summons smaller. we all love titan's ass but not when it's the only thing you can see. "/petsize all small" will make this problem go away

relax and have fun. panicking leads to mistakes, which can lead to worse mistakes. if you need to take a second to breathe, do so. your party members probably wont mind waiting a minute or two between pulls

#ffxiv #zack's random nonsense

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illusioncanthurtme--art · 1 month ago

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im curious, why do you like fiddlestan?

i like them in theory (all the pain potential, jeez!) but i feel like i'm missing something very obvious

Oh boy, you’re about to open pandoras box with this one -

I’ve liked fiddlestan for a LONG time, almost a decade now, (EXHIBIT A!!!), and honestly, I’ll admit that the ship is mostly based on speculation. So maybe you’re not missing something obvious, maybe I’m just delusional. I can’t speak for everyone, all I can do is explain why I like it: because it’s deeply rooted in several layers of irony.

It’s ironic because fiddleford spent the better part of a YEAR dealing with fords nonsense. (And I KNOW, it’s not all bad, but really, especially if you read journal 3, that poor man was put through a LOT. He was definitely taken advantage of, at LEAST a little.) And after grappling with the acceptance that your longtime friend and unrequited love will never return your feelings, having lost the man to some crazy otherworldly nightmare machine, who shows up?? But his TWIN BROTHER who’s HUMBLE and KIND and TEN TIMES MORE DOWN TO EARTH?? It’s ironic, because they don’t know each other, yet they both have years of history with the same person who’s wronged them, and, they can make out about it!! THEY CAN FUCK TO SPITE HIM!! Stan stole his brothers name (and committed multiple crimes under said name), stole his house, and stole his research partner!! And… it's ironic because it’s Grunkle Stan and old man Mcgucket. That needs no elaboration.

(these are all my personal takes/headcanons! Like I said, this ship is based solely on interpretation, so I’m sure a lot of fiddlestanners like fiddauthor too. There’s like a billion different ways to interpret this ship.)

Also -

Their personalities are surprisingly similar when you stop and think about it!! You put those two in the same room, and they’d come up with some highly devilish scams together. They both have moral codes that are a little… ambiguous. And… I can’t believe I’m gonna pull this out as *canon fiddlestan documentation* but these are the kind of crumbs we’re working with here: MABELS DREAM IN THE SOCK OPERA CREDITS!!!! Although it’s not something that actually happened, and it’s just a reference to statler and waldorf, they are IN CHARACTER!! I think this is how they would actually act together if they were friends!! Just two old dudes, hanging out together watching tv, making fun of whatever they’re watching. If you’re in the room, you might get roasted too. Just a couple of old farts. It makes me so happy to think about.

No fiddlestan rundown post would be complete without the fandoms EXTREME STRAW GRASP at Old Goldie and the Flame Retardant Raccoon. Soos calls mcgucket a “prospector guy,” amongst the other obvious comparisons you can make between fiddleford and goldie. Goldie is something stan used to like a long time ago, but he’s all old and fucked up now, best to throw him away and forget about it. BUT, as it turns out, there’s still good in that old thing after all. SO LETS GET MARRIED IN VEGAS!!!! It’s an extreme stretch, but… It’s a fiddlestan trope that they, at some point, have a crazy night of fun+romance in vegas together. And I personally like to think that they return when they’re older+happy and tie the knot for reals. The raccoon speaks for itself - it’s one of the ways you can compare stan to a raccoon. And of course, mcgucket's raccoon wife.

This is where it starts to get a little angsty, and if you “get all the pain potential” then you may have already given this some thought - but why does stan treat fiddleford the way he does if they used to love each other? The whole “UGH, this guy” comment in land before swine, looking all uncomfortable around him in fight fighters, choosing the spot furthest from where mcgucket lotions himself at the pool, and the “possum breath” comment in the last episode (and fiddleford actually has the mental clarity to look perturbed after he says it). Stan is hurt!!! He’s upset!! If they used to be a Thing after the portal incident, something must have happened between them for fiddlefords mental illness to get the better of him, and for him to choose to erase both stan and ford from his memories. I, personally, think that it was deep rooted internal homophobia (being raised in the south, that runs deep), and being scared for getting too close to stan. They were getting too comfortable, and that scared him. What about his family? And tate? His son can never meet stan. He can never let his wife know. And all the paranormal fuckery incidents leading up to this that already weakened his mental state, the portal incident, already having zapped his brain a few times, would have sent him over the edge. So I’m thinking they would have gotten into a fight of some kind, and fiddleford would have stormed off. Thus leaving stan having to live in a town with the person he USED to love, who doesn’t remember him at all!!! What!!!!! That sucks!!!! Only upside to fiddlefords memory erasure is that it makes it easier for stan to pretend nothing ever happened. But it’s still not easy. Also, if word ever got out that old man mcgucket used to be his boyfriend, he would never be able to live it down. So he compensates by being an ass towards him. Fuck.

But then!! If fiddleford has the chance to heal!!! (say… maybe… when the twins are on the stan o war II) then stan would come back to gravity falls and see fiddleford looking like the person he knew thirty years ago!!!! WHAT!?!?! CAN’T RUN FROM YOUR PAST FOREVER, CAN YOU!?!?! And you KNOW fiddleford would remember what happened with stan. How long can stan keep himself in denial?? And now we’re opening up the can of worms: how the FUCK does this information reach ford?? That your brother used to canoodle with your research partner and might STILL BE?? That has so much potential too.

Ok I wasn’t expecting to write those last two paragraphs but it’s A BIG PART OF WHY I LOVE FIDDLESTAN!!! It’s a crazy fucking rollercoaster ride!!! This thing has so many angles!!! And that’s just MY fiddlestan interpretation - I’ve seen a lot of different takes on the sort of story that would transpire between these two. But no matter what you’re cooking, It’s always a LOT.

There’s probably so so much I didn’t touch on here. If anyone else wants to throw in their two cents as to why they like fiddlestan, please, add something!!!

#I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME TYPING THIS!!!!! BUT ANON TRIGGERED THE FIDDLESTAN PSYCHO THAT LIVES IN MY BRAIN 24 7!!!!!!!!!!#shit shit shit I was supposed to be working on a commission right now :'DDDDD #I hope this answers your question anon JKSHFJDSGHLSDK #Oh my god im insane #im so crazy about them i might just turn this into a comic alongside my b1llford one #fiddlestan #gravity falls #stanley pines #fiddleford mcgucket #grunkle stan #stanley x fiddleford #ask #answered #anon

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revelboo · 5 days ago

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sometimes i think this is how some of the bots think about humans

lowkey don't know how to feel about that myself, i actually put myself in some of the human's shoes and wow it's no easy task to deal with their situation and having to keep themselves calm

That’s probably how a lot of them unconsciously view humans because of the size difference.

A Lifeless Ordinary Pt 4

Scavengers x Reader

• By virtue of Swindle’s reputation as a crook, Misfire voted Crankcase to use the language file and everyone else agreed. Most likely the con wouldn’t intentionally off a customer he can scam again, but still. Now Crankcase leans over where the human is sitting on a crate, little legs dangling and heels thumping against the side, and he spouts gibberish at you. Your head comes up, eyes widening as you say something back and get to your feet. “Do you understand it?” Krok demands, right as your little shoulders slump, hands gesturing.

• When the one with the chunk out of his head starts talking and you recognize human language, you lunge to your feet. Asking if he knew your language, because while the sounds are familiar, it’s still nonsense to you. And he’s just staring back at you in incomprehension. It’s the wrong language and you’re not sure whether to laugh or cry. Or scream. You’re still stuck at square one playing charades with giant, alien robots.

• “Still gibberish,” Crankcase growls, leaning back as the human goes on a rant, little hands flapping about and gesturing before you flop back down in frustration. Reaching out he nudges your shoulder with a servo and you immediately swat him. Those eyes glowering when he uses that same servo to tip your chin up. Because he gets it, to be so small and trapped somewhere? Unable to communicate? You must be terrified even if you hide it well. And that’s something he understands. What happened to him left more scars than just the chunk missing from his head. Sometimes the other Scavengers come up on his bad side and he almost swears it’s Thunderwing looming up behind him, that old nightmare digging it’s claws in.

• “Of course it is,” Krok sighs, slumping back on the bench in the cargo hold. Doesn’t even realize when he starts clicking the device in his hand because it’s become a nervous habit by this point. Whenever something goes sideways, he plays with it and now you look up at the noise and meet his optics. As he watches, you hold up your fist, thumb moving to mime him until he stops. “Signal that crook.”

• “I told you,” Misfire growls, wings flaring as he watches you stop copying Krok and look up at him. Unable to understand, but trying. Those intelligent eyes alert. As he watches, Spinister finds that stuffed animal as big as you are and pushes it firmly at you, knocking you flat on your back as you wrap your arms around it in self defense just to get him to stop. “I mean, his name is Swindle,” he mutters as he stalks off.

• Arm looped around the stuffed bear, you crane your neck to watch the one with wings stalk off. They’re obviously all unhappy and it hurts to get your hopes up only to have them crushed again. If you can’t communicate, you can’t ask to go home. You’ve tried mimicking some of the sounds they make, but they always just look at you funny. Expressions giving away that they can’t even tell you’re trying so hard. That your attempts are just nonsense to them. Anxiety lifting through you, you’re aware of the biggest one, the one that had found you and ran you down, still staring at you. He’d scared you nearly to death then, but if he hadn’t spotted you that day? You’d have probably starved on that barren world, scared and alone. He saved you whether or not he realizes it.

• “Think they really were a pet taken after the war?” Fulcrum asks as you chatter at Spinister, trying to get back up only for him to keep pushing you back over with a servo. He’d stop him, but you’re laughing instead of angry. “Why abandon them out here?” Because you haven’t been that much trouble except for the handful of times they’d accidentally poisoned you trying to keep you alive. Swindle’s food at least had been legitimate, though whatever those black and white discs are, you’d tried to devour the entire package as soon as they weren’t paying attention to you. And he’s almost positive you had been swearing at him when he had to take the package away to ration them out slowly. Like now as you manage to get away from Spinister and move as close to him as you can get, big eyes imploring as you hold out a hand. Aware of the others watching as he produces the little package and holds it out, holding up a servo of the other hand in warning. And huffing at him, you take only one instead of trying to snatch them all, reaching out as soon as you pop it in your mouth to pat his servo and mumble nonsense at him.

#transformers x reader #idw scavengers x reader #idw krok #idw misfire #idw fulcrum #idw spinister #idw crankcase

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darantha · 2 years ago

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How to Spot AI images (Hopefully)

So, I did see GailyNovelry's excellent post on this (Link here), but saw that there also were some confusion and they were using a environment image as their example, so I thought I'd do a breakdown that was more character centric.

The key thing with AI images is that the program does not know what it is making. And, arguably, they thrive on that we are currently conditioned to not really look at things for too long before we hit that engagement button and/or just scroll onwards to whatever next the algorithm feeds us.

It's hard to fight that urge, I know, but if you just pause and look, you'll soon start spotting things that just do not make sense, and I don't just mean that the pretty booby elven fighter is sporting seven fingers on one hand. Those are the obvious things. I'll try to cover the general sort of artefacts that tend to tip me off to the fact that a image is generated rather than actually hand-made by someone making informed design decisions as opposed to trust what amounts to RNG. I think this is important as there's those who do not tag their images as AI generated, and try to scam people with commissions.

And, as the saying goes... The devil is in the details.

To start with I picked this image from deviantuser CeiEllem. At first glance, it looks... very impressive. Sharp looking elf lady with killer hair. 10/10 wish I could rock that haircolour.

But, it is AI generated. Aside from the general tell that is this hyper rendered, near photorealistic style that AI images often have, there's a lot of details that tips it off to just not having been made by a human who actually made the decisions.

Since AI is just working off patterns and not actual decisions, things like hair is a immediate giveaway that you're looking at a AI image.

(Deviantart users: daralyth, DavidZarn and lunayokai)

In all these three images you can see just how hair whisps off into weird nonsense shapes or even meld into the background or clothing. Because, again, the AI doesn't know what its doing, just working with shapes. Similarly, background elements that just stop and start randomly is a dead giveaway, like the tail in the first image.

As I've said, details is the key to spotting these images, and another giveaway is the sheer density of details that is just noise.

This is from users Rigtorok7, and the details are so noisy, absolutely miniscule in scale, and hypersharp, yet have no actual design to them. Artists imply details all the time. We don't render out every single nook and crevice, and since we actually know what we want the viewer to look at, we'll pull back and simplify things so you don't want to look at the big chunk of very noisy hair ornament or necklace instead of the face of the character.

For comparison, this is how it looks when I, personally, indulge in doing 'overdetailing' of something (because I am forever weak for painting jewelry).

BUT I want to stress that the key here isn't that detailing equals AI generated. The key is the lack of design choices IN the details. There's a lot of artists out there, and someone painting out all those nooks and crannies in something doesn't mean they are a AI user. This painting by Leighton is super detailed but you see the intent with all the details. You have a focus with the people in the boat and secondary read of the figure in the door, where the details are a lot more implied and less sharp.

AI can't do that, because AI isn't making any decisions.

I couldn't find any good example once I went looking, but if you're into fantasy art: look for people just holding weird 'swords'.

AI is rapidly evolving, so who knows how much this'll help in 3 months, but for now, this is how I spot things.

But, in the end, the biggest giveaway that someone is using an AI generator is that they've filled up page after page on deviantart/artstation/wherever in the past like... six to nine months, and often swing between wildly different styles. If you're unsure, look up the source of a image. Another clue can be generic 'untitled' or just 'elf lady' sort of titles, since someone uploading 30 images a week isn't going to make unique titles for each image.

Also, commissioners. ... you should ALWAYS get a sketch and progress image from a artist that you hire. My art directors would have my head on a plate if I didn't send them a rough sketch and progress shot before finalising the image.

#go forth #be free PSA post

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koolades-world · 10 months ago

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hello ^^

was wondering if youd be able to write something about the demon brothers (and maybe diavolo too) with mc whos a little dumb? as in they forget a lot of stuff (what day it is, where they put something only a few seconds ago, etc) and dont know a lot of things even if its obvious. theyre also a bit gullible and fall for fake news or scams a lot. basically a bimbo/himbo type of mc.

hi!! yeah sure thing!

actually went to google if there was a gender neutral version of bimbo himbo and apparently there actually is

presenting: thembo! haha I love this term

enjoy :)

Thembo/Himbo/Bimbo Mc

Lucifer

very protective of you

can't help but internally smile whenever you forget your train of thought or asks him what today's date is for the third time

if there's an unreliable news source that keeps finding it's way into your hands he sees personally that they mysteriously goes out of business

gotten surprisingly good at finding things you lost, like he'll just move one thing out of the way and what you're looking for will be there (big mom energy here)

Mammon

he's a himbo himself tbh

you're cut from the same cloth so you can be silly together

100% both of you will ask each other the time, check your D.D.D., and only leave that situation with what percent it's at so you have to check again and still don't have the time

you match each other's energy so well it's meant to be

Levi

he's not quite sure how to feel at first

he gets overwhelmed by the amount of questions you ask, but once you start asking questions about his games, you're instantly close

he doesn't mind repeating himself since you actually care about him

sometimes he forgets everything besides gaming so he gets it

Satan

if Mammon is your birds of a feather flock together, he's your opposite attract moment, even better than Lucifer

he always makes sure to let you know if something you've heard is fake or not and always makes it a lesson even though despite you listening, never seems to stick but that's ok he still loves you

however he loves how you embrace all of the things he loves even if you don't fully get it, like all the more complicated books he reads for fun

it's alright he has enough brains for the both of you lol

Asmo

sometimes he's very himbo so he has solutions to your problems

gives you a cute little invisible ink pen that activates when you stand or sit in spots you're in a lot to write on your arm with since regular ink isn't cute (solomon made it <3)

always asks you if you have everything before you leave the house with a checklist, and when you got home

please make sure to thank him!!

Beel

he also has the same oblivious nature, but he's more dense while you're more airhead

if you put your heads together (and with a little help from belphie) you can usually figure it out

will help you look for your D.D.D. while the both of you use the flashlight on your D.D.D.

ultimate duo fr

Belphie

he thinks you're so silly but tries to keep any playfully mean comments to a minimum

sometimes he can't help but poke fun at you but afterwards he always tells you he's sorry and tells you you're pretty

straight up puts tracking devices on important items that you handle everyday so that if you lose something, you can easily find it again, such as your toothbrush and textbooks

Diavolo

another sorta himbo, since he seems like he has no idea what he's doing but actually is very aware

if you lose something and really can't find it, no worries! he can just buy you a new one or have the Little D's search for it since they'll do anything to help you out

very understanding and sweet about it since he kinda gets it

the both of you can embrace this lifestyle together

#obey me #obey me!#obey me x reader #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me lucifer #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me mc #headcanons #gn reader

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thesaart · 2 months ago

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Rattenfänger of Belobog

Rattenfänger (rat catcher) is the german word for the pied piper. I loved this fairy tale when I was a kid. Part of me just wanted to draw Sampo as the Pied Piper because I really love both characters but the more I thought about it the more I realized how well Sampo fits into the role as the Pied Piper. The story of the Pied Piper is that there was once a town plagued with never ending amounts of rats and then one day a mysterious figure approaches the gates of the town, proclaiming he could get rid of this plague but of course for a price. The townspeople at first don't believe him making fun of the colorfully dressed man, however after he pulls out his flute and starts playing a melody so beautiful that all the rats crawl out of their hiding spots. The townspeople, struck with awe, quickly step aside letting the man walk out of the town taking all the rats with him, leading them to a river where they all drown. After making his way back he is denied his payment, he walks away proclaiming that they made an enemy of him. The townspeople ignore the angry man and go back to their lifes. Then at night a beautiful tune dances through the streets of the town. The next day the adults discover that all the children are gone.

So how does Sampo fit into this? Just like the Pied Piper, Sampo is an alien where we meet him. His story, history and powers are all completely shrouded in mystery.

He makes deals with others but from what we've seen he's not really clear with the payment itself. (yes, he does stuff for money but I don't remember if it's ever said how much. Also why would he even need the money of the people of Belobog? Shields have no value outside of Jarilo VI and he doesn't seem like a character who if he can't afford something wouldn't just steal it.) Also more often than not his payment can be as simple as to be introduced to other people, so in that respect he's also very nebulous. Anyways aside from that he is also incredibly charismatic and even though people don't trust him they end up still making deals with him because more often than not he's the only one who can help.

One more thing, are either one of these characters good? The Pied Piper helped the town, he got rid of a devastating and dangerous plague and he would have never done what he did if the townspeople would have paid him, however he did go too far. And with Sampo it's also not simple. Yes he helped with the stellaron crisis however we don't actually know why he helped. He seems to be interested in the survival of Belobog but it's never said why. If it was truly only to entertain the tavern then why would he be protective over the planet (keeping Sparkle from going there). Aside from that he is a criminal organizing heists, stealing, smuggling and scamming and maybe even more who knows. My point is that both characters will do things first and foremost for their own benefit and even though both are not opposed to helping people it's just that neither of them are altruists.

#honkai star rail #hsr fanart #hsr sampo #honkai star rail sampo #sampo koski #sampo fanart #hsr masked fools

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kyra45 · 2 months ago

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This is really the year some popular blogs are actually bad, huh? I only saw this because I was tagged twice by two different people. This isn’t the full post, but it’s a highlight of the most important part.

[Image ID: A grayscale screenshot of a post by the tumblr user omgthatdress. It reads as follows: “Sooooo ummmmmmm this is something that's probably going to piss a lot of people off, but I feel like I really need to say it. If you get a message from an account claiming to be a Palestinian fundraiser, it is a bot. It is a scam. You need to report & delete the message and encourage others to do the same.” End ID]

This is just another person who saw a post once saying those accounts are scam bots and ran with it. Don’t use the terrible advice. It sucks. Local scam buster has plenty of posts with better advice than this. Such as how not every ask you get is by a scammer, and ways to spot the scam by doing research first instead of doing this.

(Don’t forget that badjokesbyjeff and writing-prompt-s also said Palestine blogs were scams but deleted all the posts.)

#kyra45 speaks #Palestine #blocklist

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baldursgate3tempobsessed · 1 year ago

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K follow me Astarion just sees tav like loving on children wherever they go and hes like?????

And tavs like ive always wanted my own child but i didn't wabt to ask you with every

This sends poor starion into a crisis does he was children how many

I think I have followed you. Let's see!

So for this one we got a lil time jump, ambiguous and vague setting and timelines with game spoilers present. M/F pairing because that is my go to and pregnancy is mentioned. Vampiric pregnancy also so there is some weirdness there (i made it up no idea if it's dnd accurate). Vague Tav backstory of a wonderful mother and going off to become a cleric.

Astarion was well used to your antics by this point. You had a severe lack of instincts linked to self-preservation, which led to a consistent pattern of doing, frankly, stupid shit. Stupid, but kind. Nothing that Astarion hadn't adapted to, after nearly two years of being attached at the hip you became pretty attuned to your lover's personality.

He could even go as far as to say that he had grown to love your annoying predilection for pious morality. Perhaps he loved talking you out of certain virtuous dangers more, but still. He appreciated who you were, he adored who you were. But Astarion was no saint, despite his insistence on attaching himself to one.

Which is exactly why he was far from amused when you signed him up to babysit a couple of brats. All for acquittances he barely cared about.

But you at least had the good grace to look guilty, "I didn't mean to! But she looked so tired and she said their anniversary was coming up and it's not like we got anything for their wedding-"

That was a nice try, one that Astarion wasn't falling for, "We didn't know of their existence when they got married darling. Just because I can't remember their names doesn't mean you can trick me."

"I'm not trying to trick you!" You whined, arms crossed as you pouted. It sure felt like a trick, especially when Astarion knew that you were well-aware how easily he fell for your sulking. Adorable little monster that you were, "It's only three kids and a baby for one night, it won't be that bad! You don't even have to help-"

Astarion rolled his eyes as he sat next to you on the bed, "I didn't say I wouldn't help."

That seemed to do the trick to get the pout off of your face. You perked up immediately, looking at him like you couldn't quite believe it, "Really?"

"Yes, really," Astarion sighed as you tugged you closer. Sure he liked to bitch, but he really would do anything for you. Even extremely annoying things like this, "I'm not going to sit back and feed you to the wolves."

"They're not wolves! The oldest is barely five," You laughed as you let him manhandle you, settling you into his lap, "And I am sorry, I really wasn't thinking. I promise it won't happen again."

Astarion doubted that, not when he was well-versed of your weak spot for children. No matter where you went you couldn't help but fawn over them, not to mention the insane lengths you would go to keep any child safe. It was a complete and utter blind spot, your kindness extending to them all, even the little scam artists and hellions.

It was sweet, if not extremely worrying at first. Astarion had been terrified of you finding out his past. The things that he had been forced to do, the innocents whose lives he had destroyed. But not only did you find out, you were forced to see it. Both of you were, and it had been worse than anything Astarion could have imagined. He had always found a slight comfort knowing that those he captured would at least die quickly, that at the very least they wouldn't suffer the same agonizing fate as he, just an agonizing death. But no, even that small comfort had been a lie. The horror of finding them all down there has yet to be matched. He had never felt more self-loathing, more pure disgust than the moment he had found those children, tortured and pale, all because of him.

How you didn't see him for the wretched thing he was after all that, Astarion wasn't sure. But he was grateful. You were too good for him. A fact that he was devastatingly aware of, but that wasn't going to stop him from keeping you.

He still thinks about it on occasion, despite the fact that he had done all he could to right his wrongs. They all at least had a chance now to have a life worth living, Astarion could only hope that it would be used. Their future was out of his hands now, a small comfort.

But despite his complicated feelings towards children, he was more than capable of handling them for one evening. And in all honesty, he truly didn't have to do much. He was on self-mandated baby duty, because of course you had to help out the infant that would scream bloody murder unless it was being held. Keeping her tucked against him was a move of self-preservation, if he ever wanted to retain his hearing.

Most of the night was spent amused as he watched you entertain a gaggle of toddlers. You were so... creative with the ways you could defuse their antics. It came to you so naturally, nearly like you were a born mother yourself. It wasn't exactly surprising that you were fantastic with children, he had seen it time and time again. Arabella, Mol, Yenna, all of which still wrote you letters, visited occasionally. Staying forever attached, even from a distance.

Now that Astarion thought about it, it was odd that you weren't a mother. Odder still that you hadn't never even brought up the possibility of having children together. You were usually so open with your wants and always encouraging the same from him. Just one more thing he loved about you. But... why hadn't it been mentioned? Astarion had always assumed it was because you didn't truly want any of your own, that you enjoyed their fun innocence while avoiding the more laborious responsibility of raising them.

Though watching you take care of them all, changing diapers and negotiating silly arguments with a soft smile of your face had him rethinking his assumption.

"You're good with them," Astarion said eventually after you had successfully set the older three down for the night, the baby still stubbornly clinging to him, "I don't think there's a child we've met that doesn't adore you."

You laughed quietly, walking over to kiss him softly on the cheek. Your eyes wandered to the sleeping infant in his arms, still holding a piece of his shirt in it's little fist, "You don't seem to be too bad with them either."

"Newborns don't know any better," Astarion dismissed as he tried to put her down in their borrowed crib. Tried and failed, considering how the thing immediately started to whine the second he attempted to pry it's little hand away.

Oh for fuck's sake. Astarion wasn't even going to try and argue. Instead he unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall into the crib with her, seemingly doing the trick of stopping her from waking completely.

When he turned back you were staring at him with soft eyes, looking lovestruck at the simple act of him laying a child down, "Looks like she has pretty good taste to me."

"I don't think your judgment should be trusted," Astarion huffed as he walked over to you, grabbing your hand to drag you to the bedroom. He glanced back at you, his heart nearly skipping a beat from the sweet way you kept looking at him. It had his mind wandering again, those questions still nagging him.

Questions that he didn't have the courage to ask until dead of night, when he had you half asleep against his bare chest, "Have you ever thought of having children?"

He hadn't meant to blurt that out in the middle of the night, but Astarion apparently had a knack for starting important conversations at inconvenient times. Not that you minded.

You just cuddled into him closer, nodding against him with a sigh, "I've always wanted my own children. My own mother, Gods bless her soul, made it all sound so magical. Pregnancy, the early years, puberty, all of it. She loved it all. And I guess it rubbed off on me. It used to be all I could think about, before real life got in the way."

Astarion listened, a little annoyed at himself for not putting the pieces together sooner. You had talked so lovingly about your late parents, how you always wanted to be like your mother. Of course you would want children. How had he not connected the dots?

"But then I went off to the temple," You continued, "I completed my training, went off into the world to do good, blah, blah, blah. You know the story."

"So you grew out of the idea?" Astarion asked.

"Not exactly," You admitted, sounding a little guilty, "But I would never ask that of you love, it's not something you have to worry about."

That-what?

Astarion stared down at you, brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"

"I mean I know that the topic of children is... difficult for you. Considering everything you've been through-"

"I think you mean to say everything I've inflicted on others," Astarion interrupted, unwilling to allow himself grace. Especially when it came to the children of the Gur, "It was much worse for them than me."

You nodded, knowing better than to try and fight him on that particular topic, "I understand, but my point is that I can live without them. You're all I need."

It was comforting to hear, an immediate balm to a brand new set of insecurities that Astarion hadn't been prepared for. But even so... he hated the idea of you sacrificing even more for him. It felt wrong, "But-"

"But nothing," You interrupted softly, setting a quick kiss to his mouth, I'm serious Astarion, you don't need to worry. I'm happy, I love you, and everything is fine."

"I love you too," Astarion murmured, at a loss to say anything else. But the conversation didn't end there.

Astarion couldn't stop thinking about it, even long after the temporary children were sent back home. ou seemed so... sure that he didn't want children, and a week ago he probably would have agreed. But that was back before he knew that he was actively keeping you away from something you wanted. Something you had dreamed about since you were a child. And it felt wrong to be the reason for that, so, so wrong.

He didn't even know if his true feelings on the matter were real. He didn't want children for many of the same reasons he never wanted a partner. The attachment to another was dangerous, he was beyond unequipped to deal with others, let alone care for them, and the entire ideology behind love was ripe for manipulation and heart break. But then he met you and everything changed. Suddenly, caring for another didn't feel like a weakness, it felt like the strongest aspect of his entire self. Taking care of you wasn't an unwanted duty, it was intimacy. Something that he now craved. If all of those steadfast ideals could fall apart simply through meeting you, whose to say he could even trust himself when it came the thoughts around having a child?

Would having one truly be so bad? A little piece of the two of you, alive in the world? And perhaps children were annoying but... Astarion would be lying if he said he didn't have a soft spot for them. He had kept his distance before, but now he was fully confident that he wasn't a danger, no with Cazador burned to nothing bus ash and his own bloodlust well controlled. And it's not as if he was incapable of being a father, worse men than him did it everyday.

It was a confusing place to be, this tightwire of indecisiveness. Confusing enough for him to start a bit of research. He was vaguely aware that it was possible for his kind to breed, but finding out the details was disheartening, to say the least. First he had to parse out the different horror stories of babes eating their way out of their mother's wombs with actual facts, which wasn't exactly pleasant. But the truth was that it was more than possible for the two of you to have child together. It had the potential to either be as noneventful as any pregnancy, with the cavate that the babe coming out looking slightly... dead wouldn't be a permanent state of being. Or it could be as risky as carrying a child could be, with pains and complications galore, even legitimate worries of internal bleeding from the wretched thing prematurely growing claws. Not to mention the occasional, intense blood lust that could occur, an experience that Astarion would prefer you didn't have to go to.

Looking into the reality of the choice didn't help as much as he had assumed it would. If anything it just made the whole situation more real. Even if he wasn't a vampiric spawn, childbirth was risky. Maybe not as risky for you considering how Astarion would move the heavens and hells to get you the best care possible, but still. The thought of you passing, leaving him alone with the child you wanted and would never see, would destroy him. Completely and utterly.

But then again... there was the magical alternative of everything working out just fine. The two of you were both beyond lucky in that regard, considering how you'd overcome mind flayer parasites and fought and won against a near god. It was more than possible that everything would be fine, that you would have a beautiful pregnancy that would end in an even more amazing child. Then two would become three, a family of his very own.

That... didn't sound too bad. Astarion was torn. On one hand, he was almost certain that he was willing to go through with it. Not just because he loved you and wanted you to be happy, though it was the main reason. But also because... he could be a part in making something good. A child that would never suffer the way he did, the way countless others had. One who would be loved, who would have the help they needed for their inevitable unholy hungers. Someone precious for the two of you to fret over, to adore and care for. He... wanted that. Or at least he would if you still did. Now if he could just figure out how to bring it up, maybe something could actually happen.

But luckily enough for him, you did the job for him. He had been pouring over another book dedicated to recording the births of Dhampirs in the area, only to be distracted by you loudly sighing behind him.

"What's wrong love?" Astarion asked, his eyes still scanning the page in front of him.

"Oh I don't know," You sighed, rounding the corner to sit on the edge of his desk, "I just can't help but wonder when you're going to explain why you've suddenly become obsessed with parenting books. And..."

You trailed off, ignoring his surprised expression to read the cover of what was in front of him, "'Vampiric and Mortal Love & The Spawn They Create'. It's not exactly your usual reading material."

Part of Astarion wanted to be surprised that you had already figured him out. He had at least been trying to hide things from you slightly, not that it mattered when you could read him like a book. And he supposed that blatantly reading things like this in front of you would eventually have an effect, even if he tried to obscure the titles.

But that didn't stop him from stuttering through a response, "Well-I, okay. I've just been thinking about options lately. Which you can't really do if you don't understand what they are. Hence the books."

You frowned at him, one leg crossed over the other, "Star, I already told you that you don't need to worry-"

"But I want to worry," Astarion interrupted, deciding that ripping the band-aid off would be the best course of action, "And if there is something I can be doing to make you happier than I should at least consider it."

"I'm not going to force you into this for that," You said softly, reaching out to twine his fingers against yours, "This isn't the kind of thing you do just for someone else."

Astarion was aware of that, there was an important truth to your words. But... "What if it wasn't just for you?"

You paused, your brow furrowed as you stared at him, "What do you mean?"

"I mean what if, and consider this purely hypothetical, what if I wanted one as well. What then?" It was as far from hypothetical as Astarion could get, but by the look on your face it didn't seemed like that needed to be clarified.

You swallowed, looking just shy of hopeful as you played with his hand, "I... well. I guess in that case we would have a lot to talk about."

That wasn't quite the answer he was looking for. He pressed on, "So if in theory, I did want one. Would... you still be interested in having one?"

With me?

He left that part unsaid as he waited for an answer, uncharacteristically nervous as you mulled it over. But you were smiling, bright and wide, giving his hand a little squeeze as you spoke, "I think that would be the only scenario where I would want it. If that's something you wanted."

"I think it is," Astarion answered honestly, done with being coy, "I don't know how, I... I'm not quite sure how I feel about you carrying something that could be dangerous. But... in general yes. I think I want this. I do want this. With you and only you. Whenever your ready."

The next part Astarion did see coming, his arms already open by the time you launched yourself at him. You straddled his lap, kissing every part of his face as you babbled, "We can wait! It doesn't need to be now but-I just-yes! Adoption, childbirth, I don't care. All I need is to have them with you. That's all I want."

"And that I can give," Astarion laughed, delighted at your reaction. He still had concerns, plenty of them in fact, but they were hard to consider when the woman he adored was so ecstatic.

He gripped your chin, chuckling at the whine you let out for him interrupting your onslaught of affection. You didn't have to wait long, not when he directed your mouth against his, kissing you deeply as a new wave of exciting, and slightly nauseating feelings worked through him.

He didn't know exactly what was going to happen in the future. He had no idea if he would be a good father, but he knew that he would try his damndest. He didn't know how the two of you would even procure a child, but he did no one thing.

With you by his side, it would work out. All of it, no matter how hard the road turned out to be. And that was all that mattered.

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #asks #you'll pry my long posts out of my cold dead hands #spoilers #pregnancy mention #should i do a part 2 of this?#dhampir baby part two?#fun fact im actually so scared of pregnancy it sounds like hell to me #so pregnancy/child fics are very interesting to write #personally #i'm getting through these asks slowly but surely #nine more to go!

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