#i just really don’t know how to get a union off the ground idk

[daenerysoftarth]

ignore my rant

also not to dwell but my boss making a big deal about working as a server for 10 years when I grew up like this I just. do not care. I know how I grew up and I saw how hard my mom worked in the same type of jobs for no reward. I don’t care about you. nor does it mean you’re not exploiting ur workers here and now. and I cannot emphasize how little I care when I see my coworkers getting evicted or having to postpone surgeries or having to come in after procedures when they’re still numb from anesthesia or or or

[solselah]

GODDESS MESSAGE

𓋹

PILE 1 :

𖤓HATHOR𖤓

Omg so immediately she wants to work with you as far as transformation is concerned!!! She can empathize and understand your emotional pain and physical Boundaries !! She sees that in love you have been so fucked over. Especially with the cheating and not being honest & non comital in totality she really wants to help usher in a new person , a new energy for you ! Even if they start as one of your closest friends ! She wants you to be Content and balanced !! She’s also letting you know , that person who fumbled you is definitely getting their just do with karma! And it manifest in a very specific way for this person , I’ll tell you now she is the reason why ! She’s teaching a very strong karmic lesson to this person & my love, to you as well! The twin flame card is here but I’m not feeling that energy at all , I’m more so feeling that this illusion has crumbled to pieces !! You wouldn’t even “care” if they were considered your twin flame honestly the hurt to you Goes way beyond a “dynamic” your over it ! And she can so sense it ! It’s up to you to be truthful and open to her if you are or plan on working with her energy ! Just know it’s a journey & also not everything is rainbow and unicorns with her ! She’s going to reveal to you some real sh*t !

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 2:

𓋹 🐈‍⬛ BASTET 🐈‍⬛ 𓋹

Bastet would like to tell you that there is some spiritual conversations going on in the spiritual realm about you !! She is showing up to help you out with your life’s purpose , giving you the push and encouragement you need to actually put yourself out there !! She intends for you to come into union with your passion! The issue here is that you are totally not willing to fully receive ! She is very strict about this message but in order to walk with her on this journey she would like to take with you , you would have to open up just a bit more ! Like you do your part she will do hers !! She also has some secrets she would love to disclose to you !! I’m talking she can be your spiritual ears when you aren’t around ! She has your back !! You just have to be actually willing !!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 3:

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ NUT ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

okay so this beautiful goddess sends you intense messages not sure if you have put a name to who is sending these messages but I hope this helps !!

You dream and almost instantly forget once you wake up , she is in charge of taking up that empty space !! I think she is proving to you that parts of you are very closed off like even to the point where it has gotten spiritually silent for you ! That is intentional and will not LAST ! But she moves in complete silence when it comes down to it. She wants you to know YOU ARE SO PROTECTED! Don’t you even dare try to question that ! Like to the point you question her she might let a small mishap happen just so you see her energy LIVE IN ACTION !! She is Very big on lessons with you!! She can see future YOU , and honestly you are going places my friend ! So idk if you would officially decide to work with her but I do know she is there & around ! It’s like she is your encourager someone on the “sideline” for you spiritually!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 4:

𓍝 MAAT 𓍝

“Give me the energy “

You could be so “bleh” right now like things just don’t seem worth being excited over, for you! She wants to bring you to a grounded space ! It’s obvious you aren’t the same person that you were like last year emotionally ! And she can see you doing better if you were to focus on your emotionally health ! Like she even encourages therapy or a tool that you can utilize to express exactly how you feel ! She also would love to just hear from you ; she can be that for you ! That support.

Although she will tell the truth EVERY TIME! And it may sting real bad , it’s imperative so that you can get up out of this state. It feels good to you right now but she can sense other things that you may not be able to at the moment. So she’s here to ground you , help put your feet on solid ground!!! I also see incense she may want you to burn some for her !! Also I’m getting heavy Aquarius energy along with Uranus energy !! She is highlighting a spiritual cleanse you may need to do !!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

Hope you enjoy ❤️

IG:@soleccentric

[justfangirlthingies]

Marry your Daughter (Legolas)

This is a songfic for the song 'Marry your Daughter'

The story plays in between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, well actually it doesn't really matter when it plays

This is my first time writing for Legolas, so just bear with me ok?

Summary: Legolas makes his way to (Y/n)'s father to ask him a very important question or rather ask for approval.

Idk what race you wanna be, so if you're an elf just consider this as an Elvish conversation, for any other race it'd be in English I suppose.

Warnings: none? I think? If you find anything lmk though

Word count: 1640 words

A young ellon walked through the halls of the castle. He strutted through the halls with grace, not letting anyone see how nervous he actually was. He had only seen your father two or three times. Needless to say, he hadn't really had the chance to properly get to know him those few times. Legolas came to a halt in front of two large willow wood doors, which were guarded by two wardens. The two bowed before him briefly, before one of them entered through the doors. Probably announcing the young prince's arrival to the king. When the doors opened once more, the prince was shown into the room, the doors closing behind him. The ellon walked up to the man sitting upon his throne and knelt before him. Just casualties amidst royalty.

Once Legolas got back onto his feet, he heard the king's voice speak up. "Legolas Thranduilion, prince of the woodland realm, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" He asked.

The man you were currently courting took in a deep breath and tried to keep his shaky exhale as quiet and unnoticeable as possible, before he spoke up "Sir, I'm a bit nervous 'bout being here today. Still not real sure what I'm going to say. So, bear with me please if I take up too much of your time"

At that, the older man cocked an eyebrow, genuine curiosity overtaking his features. He already had a hunch that whatever this was, had to be about (Y/n), his only daughter and also the oldest of all his 3 his children. "Your Majesty, as you know, your daughter (Y/n) and I have been courting and I wanted to-to" The elven prince cut himself off, the nervousness coursing through his veins finally seemed to affect his actions. In the heat of the moment, he decided that maybe it would be easier to get this off his chest if he just showed the object, which he had been carrying with him for a few months now, to your father "See in this box is a ring for your oldest"

Your father's eyes widened at the object. Yes, he expected some kind of talk, but not that kind of talk just yet. The box in Legolas' hands was decorated with intricate and highly complicated looking patterns. Though the ring he did not get to see. "She's my everything and all that I know is-" The blond stopped his sentence and sighed, finally looking up at your father and maintaining some intense eye contact. "it would be such a relief if I knew that we were on the same side. 'Cause very soon, I'm hoping that I can marry your daughter and make her my wife."

"And how do you think that would turn out? What would you expect of a union with her. How would it benefit (Y/n)?" The monarch asked in return, his eyes still trained on his future son in law.

Legolas saw this as a good sign. He had not denied the request to give his blessing to this marriage, yet. "I want her to be the only girl that I'll love for the rest of my life and give her the best of me 'til the day that I die"

"What if I said no?" A smirk graced the king's lips as his (e/c) eyes bore into the young ellon's blue ones. The elf's face fell as he failed to notice the playful shimmer in the older man's eyes. He quickly retained his proud posture and continued on, answering the old man's question "All due respect Your Majesty, I do not mean to offend you, but I am asking for your blessing and possibly your approval, but in no way am I asking for your permission because I'm most certainly gonna marry your princess and make her my queen. She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen." The elven prince smiled at that thought. At the thought of you in your wedding dress. He would stand, waiting and watching at the altar, while you'd make your way down the isle. "I can't wait to smile. When she walks down the aisle. Preferably, on the arm of her father." The king watched as Legolas' brilliant blue eyes glimmered with love, happiness and admiration at the mere thought of you. He also took notice of the determination that sparked from the ellon's eyes. "On the day that I marry your daughter"

"Why (Y/n)? How can I be certain you will not mistreat my daughter?" Was all your father questioned in response. He was curious and wanted to make sure the man before him really was genuinely in love with you. Because of the fact that he always heard the way you talk about Legolas, he knew you were utterly in love with the elf. However, no matter how much you might have adored this man, your father wanted to create his own picture of the prince, without including the opinions of others. He simply had to judge for himself, if Legolas was worthy of his 'little girl' or more like, as close to worthy as one can get because in his opinion, no one was, is or would ever be good enough for you. The younger male immediately answered the other's question, ready to take any chance to prove himself to the man you called your father "She's been here every step since the day that we met. I'm scared to death to think of what would happen if she ever left. So, don't you ever worry about me ever treating her bad"

"You have already thought all of this through, haven't you?" The king chuckled slightly. A sign is what Legolas saw this as. A sign, that he might indeed get a blessing for this union. With that thought in the back of his head, he smiled and eagerly nodded his head yes "Yes indeed, I have most of it thought out already. If she has any extra wishes or wants to alter or make changes or additions to anything, she can do so. After all, it is in my interest to make this perfect for her. I've got most of my vows done so far, so bring on the better or worse and 'til death do us part. There's no doubt in my mind. It's time. (Y/n) and I have discussed the topic quite a few times, though I do not think she expects me to ask her nor has she any suspicion of my plans just yet. Which is why, the way I view it, this is a tremendous opportunity to surprise her. I'm ready to start, I swear to you with all of my heart."

Your father slowly lifted himself from the throne and walked up to Legolas "You swear, you say?" The man was intimidating, but the ellon stood his ground "Indeed. I swear it. I'm gonna marry your daughter and make her my wife. I want her to be the only girl that I'll love for the rest of my life and give her the best of me 'til the day that I die. yeah I'm gonna marry your princess and make her my queen. She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen. I can't wait to smile as she walks down the aisle, on the arm of her father. I know she would want you to approve and to have you there and so would I, on the day that I marry your daughter.

"It seems like you really do mean it..." The older one thought aloud. "I mean it, I really do" Legolas spoke up, he hadn't even properly acknowledged that your father was now in very close proximity and that what he said was more of a statement than a question. With that, Legolas remembered your first encounter, a dreamy look took over his features for a moment as he spoke "The first time I saw her, I swear I knew, that I'd say 'I do' "

The ruler over your kingdom took another look at Legolas before he announced "If that really is the case, which it seems to be and if (Y/n) really wants this, there is no stopping my stubborn daughter" he laughed loudly "then I suppose I have no choice, but to give this marriage my blessing."

I'm gonna marry your daughter and make her my wife. I want her to be the only girl that I'll love for the rest of my life and give her the best of me 'til the day that I die

The blond's eyes went wide. Had his ears deceived him or did he really just hear what he had heard? At that the old king chuckled "You better treat her well..." He hesitated for a moment before finishing his sentence and patting the elf's shoulder "...son."

The elvish prince nodded, his eyes widened even more at the sudden contact and with the biggest of grins plastered on his face, he replied "I will, do not fret."

I'm gonna marry your princess and make her my queen. She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen.

"I better not regret this decision" Your father muttered "You will not regret it, I assure you" The younger male responded immediately.

I can't wait to smile, as she walks down the aisle, on the arm of her father...

"I expect I still get to see her regularly." He paused "And you as well, I need to know what kind of man I just allowed entry to my family." Now it was Legolas' turn to laugh "Of course. We will visit as often as we can and you may come and pay us a visit as well sometime......adar"

...on the day that I marry your daughter

Taglist: @ateez-star @littlemissnoname13 @gwlvr

[elefseia]

extremely long, mildly spoiler-y OC thoughts that idk if anyone cares about under the cut fjghfgf

So yesterday I was thinking about Florence and Oskar; we’re not quite to the point where they get together yet, but it’s coming much closer. I made the interesting discovery that...I think Florence might actually have one of the worst reactions to his own queerness (beyond Oskar, who tries to “no homo” himself so hard, it swerves around and almost obliterates his relationship with Suzette).

I find it interesting, for his character — he’s very friendly and open-minded, not very judgemental in general, and finds a lot of society’s rules silly. He also doesn’t have the baggage holding Oskar down: he’s thoroughly agnostic, and he doesn’t have any...weird gender stuff going on. He’s not insecure in his masculinity — he barely cares about it at all, actually. He’s cis only because he doesn’t care enough to try to assert himself as something else, not because he’s Definitely A Man (contrasted with Oskar, and even someone like Hikaru).

But, even with all that said — and even considering the fact he had the best reaction to at least one form of queerness (Florence learned Oskar was trans right as they met, and not only did he accept it, he’s the one who facilitated Oskar transitioning) — I think Florence has always been long disturbed at the thought of being romantically drawn to a man.

Even though he doesn’t object on religious grounds, I think he’s still inclined to view homosexuality as being strange and unnatural, and perhaps even unhealthy. I don’t think he really even has a reasoning for it beyond finding it kind of gross — and for little reason other than that’s just the society he grew up in for so long. A great many other things he can get past and rationalize — being trans, well, your brain and the rest of your body just got mismatched somehow, very scientific. All the superstitions surrounding albinism are just silly. Needing to get married and having a family — dumb, people should uphold their own free will.

...But even though he doesn’t think it’s necessary for people to go down the expected life path of “get married have babies,” he still thinks that if people are going to have some kind of union, it should be heterosexual. I mean, men and women are made for each other, right...?

I think his feelings on Oskar confuse and frighten him; early on, he would have wondered if maybe Oskar’s body being “female” has something to do with it, although in a (strangely heartwarming) twist, he quickly concludes that he so thoroughly sees Oskar as a man that there’s no way that can be it. I wonder if perhaps at some point he wonders if he’s not a man, although he’s certainly not a woman, and he doesn’t really have a concept of nonbinary, so none of that. When he was younger, this probably ate at him — although by the time we meet this in SoS, he’s long gotten over this, sort of. He brushed off his feelings for Oskar, they stayed friends, and he was simply prepared to do this forever.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to write the scene where Oskar confesses to him, cause of Suzette’s perspective — but I keep thinking about it, how interesting it must be. Florence laid to rest any feelings he had for Oskar about a decade before this happens. He never remotely considered that Oskar might reciprocate, and so hearing that just...brings back every single confusing feeling right to the fore, cause the truth is he never got over anything, he just gave up and tried not to think about it. A part of him is extremely happy — but wait, should he be? Is he really just some kind of degenerate?

And Oskar feels the same way, having had even stronger convictions against homosexuality than Florence had, largely due to his religious beliefs (and being trans, and his ideas of what that means, not helping).

It’s different from the other gay couple we’ve seen so far; Hikaru had religious convictions against it, but we young enough and already ostracized enough that when he learned his feelings were reciprocated, he didn’t have many qualms giving in. And Alex simply didn’t even know homosexuality was a thing you could do. And Suzette — fittingly enough, I think she was like Florence, but having Alex’s memories blasted into her brain made her more easily accept that maybe it’s not something strange and unnatural. Because they aren’t her feelings (sort of), it oddly makes it easier for her to accept them without condemning them. She sees how sweet and joyous they were, and finds it hard to find fault in something that feels so pure.

Unfortunately for Florence, he doesn’t have anything to really help him through this. He just has to be brave and fight head-on the convictions that society has instilled in him ever since he was young, which at this point is a bit difficult (he’s 46 is SoS vol 2). He’s almost always had the perspective that happiness is more important than society’s silly conventions — he didn’t get married, he went to become a tailor instead of being a nobleman, he’s always gone on his own way. But he has to see just how far he’s willing to push the envelope to find whatever joy he’s seeking.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

I've been thinking about your Ruthari angst prompts and idk if that's even allowed 😅 but what do you think about a mixture of 3 and 11? 👀

Okay, so I wanted to play with the arranged marriage au for a bit, and these two lines landed like they might be part of negotiations. So here you go:

“What would you do if I didn’t come back?” and “How am I supposed to go on?”  

“What would you do if I didn’t come back?” Runaan paced slowly at Ethari’s side as they circled the fog-shrouded gardens of the Silvergrove Council House for the seventh time, matching the craftsman’s easy amble. The assassin had begun their negotiations with his hands clasped behind his back as they trod the well-worn path just inside the pale filigree wall that ringed the grounds. Now they hung loose at his sides, after over an hour of conversation that gradually found its rhythm. Ethari was surprisingly easy to converse with, so far. Runaan wasn’t certain he really approved of the taller elf’s playful mindset, but his easy forgiveness and acceptance had soothed away a lot of Runaan’s initial worries.

Runaan kept his face carefully forward as they walked, not wishing to indicate any weakness by glancing Ethari’s way too often, but he kept Ethari’s boots in the corner of his eye so he didn’t walk too fast and leave him behind.

I could. I could leave him behind. I’m faster, stronger. But my life has never been mine to direct. It belongs to Xadia. And so does my heart. Runaan took a slow breath as Ethari thoughtfully contemplated his reply, nibbling at his lip. My heart for Xadia. So, my heart for Ethari, as much as I can manage it.

“I suppose,” Ethari began slowly, “I would do whatever the council wished me to do.”

That was the best answer Runaan could have expected. Ethari had a deep sense of duty that overrode his personal feelings, just as Runaan did. Another thread of tension loosened in his shoulders. No one understood duty like an assassin, but the council had selected Ethari from among all the eligible craftsmen in the Silvergrove. He was the best they could find. But Runaan was the one who’d marry him, and he needed to be sure, too. And now, to his relief, he was sure. Ethari was willing to do his duty, no matter what.

Good. He’ll need that as much as I do.

“Would they make me marry the next assassin leader, too, do you suppose?” Ethari continued. He looked further ahead on their circular path, as if he could see such a dark future already looming.

Runaan blinked in surprise. He shifted himself out of the equation--an easy habit of long practice--and considered the idea. “It depends on what sort of match we have, I think.”

“How do you mean?” Ethari’s voice was carefully distant, unwilling to give any indication of interest either way.

Runaan pouted thoughtfully. “Well, if we match well in skill, if your crafting is of high quality and I perform admirably with your weapons, then the council will be inclined to match you with another assassin so you can continue to perform your valuable services.”

“Hmm.”

Runaan glanced over from beneath a single raised brow at Ethari’s noncommittal noise. “You don’t agree?”

“Does the council take feelings into consideration in situations like that?” Ethari asked.

“Feelings?” Runaan scoffed lightly. Feelings never protected anyone from anything. They were more likely to cause chaos than bring order.

Ethari shot him an uncertain glance. “Yes, feelings. What if...?” He looked away abruptly.

“You worry they would match you with a woman?” Runaan guessed.

A tiny smile flickered at the corner of Ethari’s lips and vanished. “That wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh. What, then?”

Ethari glanced across the gardens, to where the lacy arches of the Council House faded into the mist. “Can I ask you for a favor, Runaan?”

Runaan’s spine straightened. A personal request from his intended? This was the sort of thing he would be expected to agree to, wasn’t it? They were to be partners, allies, for the protection of Xadia and the Silvergrove. But soft subjects were merely practice for the important things. That was Runaan’s takeaway after Tiadrin sat him down and gave him a thorough talking-to, anyway. “Of course,” he responded. He had no idea what to expect, but he was intensely curious what could prompt Ethari to ask for a personal boon just then. “Anything you like.”

The craftsman’s eyes scanned the foggy garden until he spotted something that met with his approval. He held out a broad-palmed hand toward Runaan. “Will you come with me for a moment?”

Runaan stilled, studying the outstretched hand so easily offered. I suppose I should get used to this elf’s touch sooner rather than later, he reasoned. Slowly, he placed his gloved hand in Ethari’s, resting it there as lightly as a landing bird.

Ethari grinned warmly and gave Runaan’s hand a gentle squeeze. Then he towed him past a couple of short fruit trees that were just budding their spring leaves, until they were entirely hidden from sight, against the outer wall of the gardens. He pulled Runaan to face him and gave him a secretive smile. “Here, this’ll do.”

Runaan glanced around uncertainly. “For what?”

Ethari glanced down, suddenly bashful. “I, I thought we should kiss. To get used to it. They’ll expect it of us in public from time to time.”

Runaan’s brows lowered. “We don’t have to kiss.”

Ethari’s shoulders slumped a little. “Do you mean right now, or... ever...?”

Runaan’s expression tightened as he struggled with these unfamiliar notions Ethari was creating in him. “We are to be wed for the good of the SIlvergrove, Ethari. You are a craftsman of immense skill, and I am to become the leader of the assassins. Our union will stabilize the chaos of the past few years and ensure a brighter future for everyone. Kissing...” Runaan shook his head slowly, baffled. “Kissing doesn’t enter into it.”

“Kissing doesn’t--?” Ethari blurted. “Runaan...”

Perplexed at Ethari’s sudden outburst, the assassin took a moment to look him up and down, seeking some reason for his intense reaction. But he saw only a tall, frustrated craftsman before him, clearly in on some secret Runaan did not possess. It seemed he’d have to ask out loud for it. “What?”

“You fool.” Ethari’s hands were on his cheeks in a heartbeat, pulling him closer. Runaan’s sound of protest was trapped in his mouth as Ethari’s lips found his, hard and urgent, driving him back against the garden wall. Runaan backed into it with enough force to  draw a grunt from his chest.

Ethari chased him there, pressing himself flush against Runaan, pinning him with writhing eagerness. At the sound of Runaan’s grunt, he let out a low, grinding moan to match, sieving his fingers into the assassin’s hair.

Don’t stab him. Do not stab him. He wouldn’t understand. This is for Xadia. The thought flared red in Runaan’s mind, tangled and fragmented by a truly frightening amount of heated sensations that burst out of nowhere and swarmed him like a cloud of moon moths seeking escape, finding none. What is... what is he doing to me... what is this...

A stifled groan slipped through Runaan’s teeth. Instead of shoving Ethari away as he felt would be proper for such an uninvited assault, Runaan found his hands knotting in Ethari’s shirt and tugging him closer still. He wrapped a leg around Ethari’s ass and snugged their bodies together, lost in the grip of unreasoning neediness.

“Nnngh.” Ethari’s moan nibbled its way along Runaan’s jaw and nipped at the delicate skin beneath his ear. Runaan arched against his lips, tilting his chin up, bucking his hips forward with a soft cry.

Ethari steadied himself with a grip on a swirly amid the pattern in the filigree wall. His other hand teased beneath the lower edge of Runaan’s shirt, and his words rang breathlessly in Runaan’s ear.  “Runaan... I’ve always loved you... always... You make me so happy, this is a dream come true...”

“Aah!” Runaan tore himself away and stumbled a couple of steps sideways, panting heavily. His body throbbed in all the best places, his skin was flushed, his pupils blown. But he held out a hand to ward Ethari off. “You tricked the council?” he puffed. “You lied to them?”

Bereft, shocked, Ethari made an abortive reach toward Runaan and then stopped. “What? No!”

“They asked me if I had any attachments.” Runaan’s voice was cold, but why wouldn’t Runaan’s heart settle? It insisted on galloping across the Forest like a wild moonstrider. “I said no, so I was approved for consideration. And it was the truth.”

“I... Runaan, it wasn’t a lie! I’d never told you. There was no attachment to lie about.”

“There was in your heart.”

Baffled, breathless, desperate, Ethari took a step forward with his hands out pleadingly. “How is that a bad thing? I told them nothing of my feelings. I let them decide, for the good of the Silvergrove. And now that it’s decided, I’m telling you the truth! Isn’t that what couples do when they trust each other?”

Runaan’s brows drew down, and he thought searchingly through the wild storm of his feelings, seeking the hard edges of something reliable. Ah. There. He tucked his hands behind his back--the better to keep them off this deceptively charming elf before him--and straightened up into a formal assassin pose. “That’s just it, Ethari. I don’t trust you. We don’t know each other that well. And we’re not a couple. We’re a team--or trying to be--serving Xadia first and foremost. And you just admitted that you’re capable of deceiving the whole village council--and me--to get what you want. You told me you’d marry whoever the council paired you with, if I fell, but that’s not true, is it? You’ve put your needs above those of the many. And that, I cannot abide.”

Genuine fear bled across Ethari’s face as Runaan’s words sank in. “Runaan, please don’t... Are you calling this off?” His bottom lip trembled, and he pressed a shaking fist against his mouth. “Please don’t tell me I’ve ruined everything, please, please...” He closed his eyes and stood there, vulnerable, exposed. “You’re right. You’re right. It probably isn’t true. If I lose you to the humans someday, I won’t want to marry another. I just want to be with you. If...” His sunset eyes searched the mists for answers and flew back to meet Runaan’s stern gaze. “If I lose you--later, or right now--how am I supposed to go on?”

Runaan’s jaw worked as he stared at the pleading craftsman. His touch had been electric, dazzling. Runaan craved it again already. But such neediness would be an imbalance that could cost him in a critical moment--and if he fell, then his entire purpose was at risk. His head scrambled for distance even as his heart thrummed with eager heat. “I cannot trust you, Ethari. That must be the base tenet of this relationship, or we cannot serve Xadia as it requires.”

In true distress, Ethari grabbed his own horns and turned away, pacing erratically, muttering “No, no, no” through his teeth. Then he whirled back to face Runaan. “Please, I promise you, I won’t give you any further cause to doubt me. Let me prove myself. I’ll do anything. Just tell me what you need.”

Runaan stalked closer until they stood nose to nose. “I need you to give your heart to Xadia. Not to me.”

“Done,” Ethari blurted. His gaze clung to Runaan’s face, and he trembled with tension, his fate hanging in the balance.

Runaan’s gaze betrayed him, falling for a single moment from those urgent eyes to his intended’s full lips, before snapping back up. He gritted his teeth, tugged his shirt smooth of Ethari’s recent elfhandling, and added roughly, “And don’t you dare kiss me again. You’re lucky I didn’t stab you.”

Ethari looked down. “I’m sorry. It... won’t happen again.” His voice faded to a whisper like a wounded animal crawling into the shadows to die.

“How am I supposed to go on?” Ethari’s words echoed in Runaan’s mind, and he relented a little. “Wait. This is to be an alliance. I must consider your feelings, however... misguided, if we are to make this work, yes?” Ethari will make a solid ally, at least. I cannot say the same for every craftsman in the Silvergrove. I may never find an easier or stronger connection than this.

Ethari looked up from beneath his downcast brows, curious but not hopeful. “I suppose so,” he allowed uncertainly.

Runaan nodded decisively. “Then I’ll do the kissing, when it’s appropriate. You were right: they will expect it from time to time. Does this meet with your satisfaction?”

Ethari stared at him for a long moment and sighed dully. “I’ll take it.“

Runaan’s brows drew together. He’d expected Ethari to be delighted, grateful, that Runaan had considered his feelings and made allowances. Wasn’t that how these negotiations were supposed to work? Moon help me, I may just be making this worse... is it too late to take it all back and just let him kiss me again? That was... hnnngh...

Runaan opened his mouth to admit he was wrong, but Ethari spoke first.

“My heart for Xadia.” The craftsman offered his hand again, hesitantly.

Runaan studied that open palm again. Holding hands. A decent compromise in itself. He took it softly and nodded.

Together, hand in hand and worlds apart, the betrothed elves made their way through the mists to the Council House. For Xadia.

[faorism]

needing the au to drop wherein i can commit to writing a historical au,, because since i first watched the db cooper job my mind went straight to OT3! OT3! OT3! (unlike with the van gogh job, since i aint playing with that fucking lieutenant)

one day maybe one dayyyyy i will sit down and i will write the ot3 into that episode's story. so, it'll be the backgrounds for the characters in the flashback (so, stephanie ritter, steve reynolds, and reggie wilkins), but with the necessary personality adjustments (parker, eliot, and hardison respectively). basically, vintage ot3 with some hot as hell aesthetics and secrets and avoiding as much as possible producing copraganda.

so. my thoughts. what i see happening. and this got super long so im throwing this under a cut. and for ease i will call them by their modern day canon names except when making a point.

first, general thoughts about the characters.

and so: steve to eliot. nothing much here on the surface. eliot still volunteers, too much an indoctrinated white man to have been forcibly drafted. so its still one man gone to war. one man come back. eliot would had been noticed early in training for his ability to pick shit up, and they teased at maybe sending him to a special unit. maybe they do, or maybe they don't because they just need to funnel fuckers to the jungle. the vietnam invasion was a terrorist imperialist venture and there's no romanticizing from me about anything done being at all valorous or special or brother-in-arms'y. and eliot commits war crimes under the american stars and stripes instead of just to keep moreau's champaign running. but also maybe moreau is eliot's superior. he certainly would have been rewarded for this ruthlessness. (eliot of course strove to impress moreau because there aint an eliot spencer who wasn't that man's dog at some point, i!!!! dont make the rules). eliot's friend died and eliot's gone off to carry out his wishes and moreau lets him because he Knows eliot is gonna come back. whether its to come back to the same squad, or follow him into deeper spy shit for the military, or to fuck off and go private. then eliot meets parker.

now. stephanie to parker. beth plays normal so well im mad at her, but there's something edgy and strategic about stephanie that i think parker can grab onto. i feel that maybe she was kind of a thief still, but there's more realism to this world so archie wasnt a super secret spy with lasers to practice with, but just a guy with sticky fingers whos a little bored and wants a protege. parker is good really good at what she does, and not having to deal with lasers makes me easy. but she's into scams that are less grifts and more Catch Me If You Can slight of hands. she's always looking for easy money (she was into lifting cars at one point! literally she follows where the crime is). she's doing something in an airport and someone tries to recruit her as a flight attendant because she's got the Look. and yall, flight attendants? that shit was like being a model and an astronaut and a time traveler back then. and according to a teacher i had, who once worked as in the f.a. union, those ladies back in the day were rad and queer and free spirited and runnnnning shit. i think, yes, it's a Job which i think we might resist placing parker into. but! of the jobs, at the time, i really see her rocking it during the time period. (also come on, the opportunities to swindle distracted people of their shit would be endless. they would just think they dropped their stuff in the airport! not that it was stolen.)

finally, reggie to alec. i think hardison will be the hardest to translate. even tho i admittedly listen to a lot of true crime podcasts, i dont know much about fbi life and also definitely don't know about it historically. part of me desperately wants to put him somewhere else even if it does have to stay within the fbi. i might cheat and make him like a Q(uartermaster) to 007/00s like in james bond, and he's like UGH this is horrible god i hate working for the fbi but they will give me funding so...... anyway, here's this totally cool [radio term]. that said, if hardison is stuck in the fbi, why he ends up there is that he is a fucking savant when it comes to research and the man can put together a presentation like no one else. that white man gets all the credit for profiling but it was hardison who goddamn was the google of the microfilm days. reggie felt super square but that might be because he had to deal with mcsweeties db cooper shit day in and day out for years. hardison is more himself. and definitely still a nerd. alec would be into dime fantasy novels and comics and ham radios and oh god he also would be into star trek like the original star trek as it came out and he would be into the zines yes! yessss. omg. also he plays a mean arcade cabinet. but he's mostly well adjusted but lonely. his colleagues dont appreciate him because fbi esp during that time were fucking wilding out and racist as hell aaaaaand im sorry im srry im trying so hard to have fbi hardison make sense but also! acab. ANYWAY.

second, the relationship

i think it would be fun to play with what it means to have parker/eliot start off first and bring in hardison afterwards. (if white collar is your thing, it would be like this canon divergent ot3 fic wherein peter burke is the last to join in.) i feel they would be Super Intense esp since they are carrying this big ass secret. kind of broken and dysfunctional and there's the passion and the commitment, but i think there's also a tenderness that's super hard for them to achieve? and i think there's a way that hardison plays such an important part in who they are and how they are. like, sure i think parker/eliot would have joy but they won't have levity. they would have compassion but they won't have gentleness.

eliot meets hardison after being recruited by nate. i think they get close because while nate and eliot have an interesting and compelling mentorship/friendship, nate is still eliots superior; sometimes its nice to complain about your boss, as hardison will say to eliot to try to make friends. i think hardison and eliot would become legit friends and not just work buddies because they are just not cut out of the same cloth as the rest of their colleagues. they grab beers after work. after hard days, hardison cajoles eliot into going to the arcade. they are friends. real real truly deep best friends, in a way hardison didn't think he could have with a fed and eliot didnt think he would have after his friend died. but also? they are like "buds" who are buds who are desperately tryna to cross any lines because there's a.... tension? an UST between them they dont know what to do with.

parker meets eliot by way of a "lets have my friend for dinner, he's a blast." and immediately immediately hardison is like... wow this woman is beautiful but like, really attracted to her personality. and parker things hardison is kinda dorky but cute dorkie? anyway, they have a puppy love situation growing. and it keeps growing until bam. eliot and parker are like. are we into alec???? fuck we are aren't we.

i think stephanie and steve would never tell reggie (even if somehow they were to be a thing). but parker and eliot? hell yeah they tell hardison. eventually. after a while. sooner than maybe they should. the tension if they should say something is one of the things that build up as UST between them for so long; parker and eliot know they are carrying this huge thing. two huge things. eliot being db cooper and also their massive crush on him.

if i could control myself to stick to a pwp, it would be another christmas. maybe the christmas nine (more?) years down the road. the damn snow grounded hardison's flight back to his nana's, and parker and eliot hear this and invite him over. the egg nog gets flowing and parker eventually is like,, fuck this. and comes onto hardison. and hardison would be like wow wow what but... idk, free love and swinging were In The Thoughts And Minds Of The People. he still checks in with eliot who is like. her body, man; i aint gonna tell her what to do. and for a sec hardison is like, man is this a cuck situation? i guess i can be for it but also...... aint mad if i aint alone. and eliot is so grateful and idk. i just want them all to be happy and having fun and no one to be left out. and yeah i am kinda brushing over a lot of the racial politics which, in a more developed fic rather than a pwp, would definitely need to be brought in; but idk that needs to just be in the bedrock of whatever plot is going into this.

it takes a lot of maneuvering of their lives but they make it work and eventually hardison is a keeper of eliot's secret too.

(apart from the historical aspect, another reason i probably won't actually write this is because i know myself. i would want to do worldbuilding. i would follow eliot and alec to their jobs, but i wouldnt want to write outright copaganda. the grit/realism i would be comfortable with would take a level of research i dont think i can commit to. but if someone wants to take this up or if you figure out a way around this issue, pls do i wont be mad)

[imaginedxlan]

Champagne & Shackles; Beta Part Two (Fred Weasley)

a/n: i’m SORRY i’m terrible at time management, school is kicking me ass. i had no idea so many of you had the same affinity for the brothers of the beta fraternity as i do, this is for all my frat rats out there i love you most. this is an ode to my very favorite date party theme: champagne and shackles. in which you and you’re chad or brad of a date are candcuffed together until you finish a massive bottle of champagne between the two of you.

weeks after the infamous beta darty, you can’t seem to pull your thoughts or presence away from the ginger boy who made your heart skip a beat. That is, until you’re invited to the beta champagne and shackled date party.

y/f/n: your friend’s name

warnings: cussing, alcohol, mentions of sex, modern!fred, and also very typical frat boy lingo stolen straight from the mouths of frat boy i associate myself with

disclaimer: while they’re semi-drunk in this they’re still coherent and stable enough to know what they’re doing. nothing that happens in this is coercive or decided under an incapacitated mind. king freddie would never take advantage of a girl like that.

part one

consumed.

You have been completely consumed with the the thought of a certain red head for weeks now. Since you kissed him goodbye on your front lawn, the image of Fred Weasley has yet to leave your brain. While you’ve been at the same school for almost two years, you’ve seen him more in the few weeks following the beta darty than you have in the 18 months you’ve spent on campus. Lines in coffee shops, the terrace at the union, the corners of the library you’ve inhabited for years. He’s everywhere. Not that you’re complaining.

The grin that plays across his lips every time you catch his eye sends your heart into overdrive. You’ve spent countless nights awake in y/f/n’s bed analysing every text, every snapchat, every story. You replay the day in the beta backyard at least once a day, yearning for the feeling of his touch on your skin. You’ve hardly returned to the brick-faced mansion, however. You’ve of course been invited through Draco and the countless group messages that flood your phone the nights leading up to a beta party, but you want him to invite you. You want him to want you there.

Of course he wants you there. He spends hours in that filthy basement he calls home every weekend searching for you among the dozens of drunk girls, hoping you had decided to turn up this time. But you’re not there.

Y/f/n mentioned date party to you this past weekend. Draco being social chair of the fraternity, he’s been planning the function for weeks. Champagne and Shackles. A fan favorite among every sorority girl throughout the school. Mixing together handcuffs and a massive bottle of champagne would have nearly anyone begging for an invite. You decide not to get your hopes up, constantly reminding yourself that while he is the boy that made you feel like you were the only two people in the world while you were surrounded by hundreds of drunk college boys, he’s still a twenty year old beta boy. It’s hard to stray from the hook up culture that he’s been practically bred into. Nevertheless, there is still a glimmer of hope in you that you’ll be cuffed to him this Saturday night instead of another girl he’s probably found on greek row.

He’s been drafting this text in the notes app of his phone for three days now. He’s changed the wording, the punctuation and the amount of details in his intended invite to you one hundred times now. George and Oliver groan every time he stops their studying or game of Call of Duty to read them the revised text he’s come up with this time.

“My god, Weasley, you’re acting like you’re writing your vows.” Oliver jokes, setting his xbox controller down on the makeshift coffee table in the twins room. “Just send it, you know she’ll say yes.”

But that’s the problem, he doesn’t know that.

“Wood we’ve thrown six times in the past month, she’s come once.” Fred reminds him of the painful fact that it seems like you’re just not that into him. “If I was sure she was gonna say yes I would have done it by now.”

George snatches his twin’s phone from his hands, copying the now final draft of this overly thought out text asking you to his date party. Before Fred can spring up from his bed, George has already got the message pasted into Fred’s text chain with you and hit send, making the color drain from his twin’s face.

“Are you fucking serious, George.” Fred finally reaches his younger brother and tackles him to the ground. “I barely read through it she’s gonna think I’m a fucking weirdo.”

George is able to shake his brother off of him, bursting out laughing with Oliver at Fred’s crazed state. George knew Fred had feelings for you, well practically every who spoke to a drunk him for more that ten minutes knew, but it was still comical to see his twin get so worked up over a girl he hadn’t even slept with yet.

“Fred you’ve been reading the stupid thing for an hour now,” He points out, Oliver nods his head in agreement. “What’s the worst that could happen? Huh? She says no and you ask one of the eight hundred other girls who fawn over you every chance they get. I know you like her Freddie but this isn’t a life or death thing.”

As Fred caught his breath from his outburst, he knew George had a point. He wouldn’t drop dead if you rejected his offer, but it sure help like he would.

hey idk if you’ve heard but our date party is this saturday and i was wondering if you would want to come

Your phone lights up just as you sit down to eat dinner with a couple of your friends. Once you see the name fred weasley next to the notification your heart stops. Taking y/f/n’s hand in yours, you turn the screen so she can read it. Her lips turn up in a grin as she squeezes your hand.

“I told you he would ask you,” She squeals, shaking her shoulders in her little ‘happy dance’ as she likes to put it. “Draco won’t stop talking about how tweaked Weasley’s been over some stupid text. I knew it was about you, I just knew it.”

You laugh at her imitation of her boyfriend, knowing it’s not far off from how he actually sounds. You reread the text probably thirty times, feeling even more giddy over such a simple and honestly not very personal text, but you don’t care. He asked you.

You spend far less time crafting a response than Fred did writing the initial text to you. If what y/f/n said is true and he really mulled over this for days, you may pass out.

i’d love to :)

The love seemed a bit overboard in your opinion, but y/f/n convinced you that it was a perfect response. You didn’t allow yourself to start looking for possible dress options until he really asked you, afraid you might jinx it if you bought a dress prematurely. Now, however, you’re on a time crunch. Someone in the house had to have something you could borrow. That night you try on at least ten dresses, all the girls on your floor flooding your room gushing over the fact that the Fred Weasley is taking you to his date party. He’s someone nearly everyone knows, and if they didn’t they were probably a geed, or lived in sophomore slums.

You finally land on a dark blue, spaghetti strapped sequin dress that clung tight to your curves. While nearly every dress you tried on felt like it might work, this is champagne and shackles after all, you have to dress to impress. Y/f/n won’t stop talking about what Fred will do the minute he sees you in the dress, praying she gets to watch his jaw drop. The two of you stay up late into the night again mushing over the thought of the two of you being swept off your feet by beta boys, the same boys you could hardly think about a month ago without becoming nauseous.

pregames at the house, malfoy and i will come by yours to grab you and y/f/n at 6:30

The text comes in Friday night. You can hardly contain the bubbling feeling in your stomach. As much as you feel like you’re sixteen years old again, you don’t care. You’ve finally joined the ninety percent of girls on greek row in one category, you’re crushing on Fred Weasley.

As the day finally rolls around, Fred is surprisingly back to his calm and collected demeanor. As much as the boys, and to be honest he himself, expected him to be bouncing off the walls over a slew of what if’s regarding the night ahead of him, he was rather calm about it all. He’s one half of the coveted Weasley Twins after all, he has a reputation to uphold.

The same cannot be said for you. As you curl your hair and apply your makeup to perfection, you can’t stop your knee from bouncing under the vanity counter you’re sat in front of. What if he secretly thinks you look bad in your dress? That you look like you tried to hard? As much as y/f/n tried to remind you of the fact that he was the one nervous about asking you, nothing seems to ease your growing anxiety. The hours tick closer to six-thirty and you sit patiently on your bed, completely ready and aimlessly scrolling through your socials to keep your mind off of the fact that in only twenty minutes Fred and Draco would be at your door to take you back to beta. The actual date party would be at one of the satellite houses, the penthouse of a nearby apartment paid for by betas massive budget.

Y/f/n takes your hand and forces you to look at her.

“Y/n,” She begins, now holding both of your hands between hers. “You are the hottest bitch this campus has ever seen. No one, not even Fred Weasley, deserves to be blessed with the absolute vision you are right now, but I guess he’ll have to do.”

You laugh at her attempt to hype you up in ten hopes that the knots in your stomach fade away. They partially do, but part of you is still in shambles over the thought of seeing him. He probably looks like even more of a greek god in a suit. Y/f/n’s phone buzzes with an ever so poetic ‘here’ text from her boyfriend and she gives your hands one more squeeze before dragging you down the staircase of your house. The boys are waiting just beyond the lawn, the same one you kissed Fred on weeks ago. The two of them have their hands in their pockets, looking like they’re deep in conversation, not even noticing that you and y/f/n are standing walking toward them.

He’s wearing a dark gray suit with a white button down with the top three buttons undone. His hair is perfectly messy. You didn’t even think it was possible for him to get any hotter, but here he is.

The boys turn their heads and immediately stop their conversation. The blonde’s face turns up in a smirk as his eyes trail over y/f/n’s body, but Fred is standing perfectly still with his mouth slightly agape as he watches you come closer to him. His cool and collected affect quickly runs out of his body as he watches your dress glitter under the street light.

“Told you.” Y/f/n whispers in your ear before she drops your hand to meet her boyfriend.

Draco greets y/f/n with a kiss and Fred pulls you into a hug. You melt at his touch. Even in the heels you borrowed from y/f/n, he still towers over you, his chin resting on top of your head.

“You look...” Fred trails off, trying to find the words to describe the sight in front of him. Heavenly, goddess like, like he might just skip the date party and get down on one knee. “...incredible.”

You muster up whatever confidence you have in the midst of your imposing anxiety to give him a somewhat composed reply. “You don’t look half bad yourself, Weasley.”

That heart-melting, mind-scrambling smile returns to his lips before the four of you begin walking what to the beta house. Fred keeps his hand on the small of your back the entire walk, desperately trying to keep you close to him.

The ungodly amount of alcohol you consume at the pregame seems to overtake any remaining worries in your body. Fred never leaves your side, as if you’re already cuffed together before you even arrive at the function itself. You talk with George and Oliver again, and meet some of Fred’s other fraternity brothers like Lee Jordan and Theo Nott. They all seem to know who you are before you can even introduce yourself. It would be difficult to not know your face after watching fred gawk over your every instagram post. Any sort of reservations you once held about the beta boys melt away. They may be wildly intimidating to a stranger that passed them on the street, but watching the boys sing along to whatever song is blasting through the speaker while dancing like they’ve just learned to walk shows you that they’re like every other boy you’ve met.

The walk to the penthouse is short, but it seems to take forever to reign everyone in everyone once in a while. Fred is continuously checking up on you, grasping your hand or your waist, making sure you aren’t cold in your dress. The second you make it to the penthouse you’re immediately cuffed to the red haired boy and handed a comically large bottle of champagne and told the rules.

No unshackling until you’ve finished the bottle.

The party is far more cramped than the one in their backyard. You can’t bring yourself to care about the occasionally bumps from someone in the crowd or the growing smell of alcohol around you. You’re completely consumed by the angelic giant dancing with you. Even with the handcuffs, Fred’s fingers are still intertwined with yours as his other hand is holding you close to his body, roaming from your waist to your back and over your ass. Anytime you go to open the bottle you’d been given at the door to continue on feeding the buzzed state you’ve been in since you arrived at the beta house, Fred stops you. He still grabs you drinks from the makeshift bar and pulls you into the ��shot room’ to send copious amounts of burning liquor down your throat, but the bottle stays off limits.

“You have no idea how much I’ve been thinking about you this month, y/n.” Fred hiccups his way through his confession as his lips are pressed close to your ear to make sure you hear every word he says over the loud music. “You do something to me.”

You know whatever you try to say will come out slurred, so you do the next best thing you can think of to tell him that you’re feeling the same way. You wrap your free hand behind his neck to press your lips to his. He immediately pulls you closer into him like he was a dying man grasping onto his only source of oxygen. Again, with your lips tangled in his, you’re suddenly the only two in the room. This moment is one you know will occupy your thoughts until the end of time. Held by the boy you’re completely enamored with as the world seems to stop around you. In every sense of the word, it is perfect.

When you pull away from each other to gasp for air, you move your lips to his ear.

“Why can’t I open the champagne?”

He leans back to look you in the eyes. The colored led lights changing on his face make him somehow even more breathtaking. That same smile appears on his lips before he leans down toward you again.

“I don’t want to finish it,” He yells over the bass of the speaker. “I want you to be stuck with me for as long as possible.”

Without a second thought, you pull your hands together to take the bottle from Fred’s free hand to pop the cork off the top before he can stop you. You bring the freshly opened champagne to your lips and take a swig before offering it over to him. His brows furrow in confusion, wondering if maybe you do want to be unchained from him.

“Freddie, if you think it’s going to take an empty bottle to get rid of me you’re wrong,” You try to shout, even in all the noise he hears you and his chest tightens. “Cuffed or not, I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

He doesn’t reply, he simply takes the bottle from your hand and begins to chugs the fizzy drink, spilling over his face slightly. Watching him fumble over the liquid you know isn’t easy to take in large amounts, you can’t help but laugh at the sight in front of you. The words of Kid Cudi’s Pursuit of Happiness flood yours ears and you pull yourself right back against Fred’s body. He pulls the bottle from his mouth and hands it back to you before bringing his hand to your cheek to meet your lips once again. You’re sure you’re perfectly done hair and makeup is a wreck by now but your mind is continuously pulled back to the impossible reality that you’re kissing Fred Weasley. Of all the girls in the party, on this campus that flock to his side any chance they get, you’re the one that Fred Weasley suddenly became nervous around. The one he spent days wracking his brain to craft the perfect image of himself to.

His hand entangles in your more than likely sweaty hair, keeping you held exactly in place against his body as his hips sway against yours. His lips move from yours to your jaw, placing quick and light kisses across the skin. Something that would under any circumstance feel sexually driven feels lighthearted, pulling numerous giggles from your lips. His hand wanders down to your side and in a swift motion begins to tickle you through you dress. You laugh only become louder as you try to keep from doubling over.

“Fred!” You squeal through the stream of giggles. “Freddie stop!”

When you begin to snort, Fred loses it. He can no longer contain his stoic face he had on when he began to tease you. You’re eventually pulled from the party, Freds hand clasping yours as he discards the empty bottle in some corner of the penthouse and brings you to be unchained from him by the pledges standing by the entrance. Even with the cuffs off your wrists, you’re still chained to him as if you’re forced to be. 

Before you can leave the apartment, Fred’s jacket is shrugged from his shoulders and placed around yours. You pull yours arms through the sleeves that are obviously too long for you. “What a gentleman.”

“Can’t have you catching a cold,” He replies, holding you by your waist as you walk back to the beta house. You’ve never seen it so empty or quiet, no one around with the exception of a few boys studying in their lounge. You return to the bedroom you were in only hours ago, it’s a mess from the pregame but you’re able to make out Fred’s bed from his brothers. Massive movie posters and stolen items from various sororities hanging on the walls around his bed, the Good Will Hunting poster above the bed with the blue comforter being a dead giveaway that it belonged to Fred. He told you it was his favorite one night.

“You don’t have to, but you’re welcome to crash here,” He asks, beginning unbutton his now stained dress shirt, revealing his toned abdomen. It’s a sight you don’t think you’ll ever quite get used to. You stop yourself from nearly drooling and shake yourself back to reality. “You can borrow some clothes, probably be pretty big on you but they’d be better than that dress.”

He already has a tee shirt and boxers held out for you. He’s secretly hoping you’re too tired to walk back to your own house so he can spend a little while longer with you. Taking the clothing from his hands, you begin to slip the straps of your dress down, signalling Fred to immediately turn around to give you some privacy. You mouth a quick oh my god to yourself before continuing the change into the boy’s clothing.

“You can turn around,” You tell him and his eyes meet yours once again. He gives you a quick once over before his lips break out in a smile. “What? What are you so smiley over?”

“I like you in my clothes.”

Immediately your heart begins to hammer in your chest as your cheeks begin to heat up. Exhaustion washes over you, the lack of sleep you got in the past week due to your constant overthinking finally catch up to you. After switching off the lights, he pulls back him dark comforter to let you slip into the warmth of his bed. As soon as your settled you turn on your side to face him. You’re both quiet, wordlessly taking in the sight of each other.

“I like you, y/n. A lot,” He finally breaks the silence. You can’t help but wonder if he’s drunker than he’s let on. He’s not, he knows exactly what he’s saying and means every word. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone before.”

You reach over to trace your finger up his defined cheek bones before resting your palm on the side of his face. His arm is lazily slung over your waist, absentmindedly keeping you close to him. You lean in further, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

“I like you, Freddie, more than you know,” You confess. Your heart has never felt more full, you’re sure this whole month has been a dream and every second you’re terrified to wake up without even knowing Fred Weasley like you do now. “Thank you for taking me tonight.”

He softly chuckles, his hand moving up your body to stroke through your hair. Even in the dark you can see his bright smile, you’re new favorite sight. “I should be the one thanking you,” He tells you. “You have no idea how nervous I was that you wouldn’t come.”

You continue to shift closer to him, trying to expel the practically nonexistent space between the two of you. You nestle your face into the crook of his neck, finding his steady pulse quite calming. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Freddie.”

“I like it when you call me Freddie.”

You hum a response, suddenly becoming too tired to even speak. The warmth of his body radiating against yours mixed with the rhythm of his heartbeat lull you further into a deep sleep. His arms return to being wrapped around your waist, drinking in this moment and silently praying in would last forever. He presses a soft kiss to the top of your head before whispering, “Goodnight, y/n.”

Hours later George, Lee and Oliver stumble into the room, all with slices of pizza from the late night shop down the street and are met with the sight of you and Fred tangled in the sheets, light snores coming from the red haired boy. They wish they could find something about the moment that they would tease him about later, but they come up short. The image laid out in front of them looks like it was taken straight from a movie.

Needless to say your constant thoughts of the beta boy are soon replaced by his presence anywhere and everywhere you go. You aren’t sure of many things in life, but you’re certain that he was made for you and you for him.

tags:

@justmesadgirl @greyspilot @sunflowerdarlingx

[crazybagelbitch]

Maddie and Chim. The hitman au.

Okay so I have never seen that movie and skimming over the plot I was like uh idk how to replicate that, so here’s just a fun little drabble involving the concept of one half of Madney being a hitman.

“Woah, Maddie, this is nice,” Buck laughs, dropping his jaw as he looks her new at her new car, “uh, I know your nursing union went on strike and won better wages, but please tell me you can actually afford this?”

She wants to roll her eyes because really, it’s not that expensive of a car. It’s an orange 2018 Kia Soul, not a mustang. But he does have a point, because he’s under the impression that nursing is her only source of income and she also has a kid to feed without the help of a husband.

Her husband’s dead, but that case wasn’t actually her own doing. That was a textbook case of suicide by cop and she felt sorry for the cop who had to shoot him, but over all? Not really a thing she would change about the situation. Both her and their daughter are better off with that abusive asshole buried in the ground.

What Buck doesn’t know-- and what he can never know-- is that she didn’t kill her abusive husband, but she makes a liiiiiiiiiiiittle bit of money on the side killing other women’s abusive husbands. Is it illegal? Yes. Could it land her in jail? She’s extremely careful, but yes.

But is it a public service? In her eyes, yes. She sleeps just fine at night unless her one and a half year old daughter wakes her up.

Hiding it from Buck is one thing, but the thought of her daughter having questions about the odd hours she “works” sometimes when she’s old enough to understand that mommy is gone at strange times does worry her. Harley doesn’t talk yet, other than the words “mama” and “milk,” and she’s not cognizant enough to see the incongruencies in how much income her mother makes the way her uncle does. But one day? Maddie doesn’t know how she’ll keep it a secret from someone she lives in the same house with who is old enough to start asking questions.

She’ll quit before then, she tells herself. And she does plan on only riding this out for a few more years, but still, she’s a single mom and Harley might want to go to college someday... Doug controlled their money and had wasted all of it on booze and gambling so it’s not like she inherited a mountain of cash when he died...

Her brother is looking at her, confused and concerned and she shakes the thoughts out of her mind as she realizes she never replied to him.

“Yeah, of course I can afford it, Evan,” she replies with an eye roll, “I have a kid to support, I can’t afford to make reckless decisions with my money. I’m not Doug.”

“I know you’re not,” Buck says quickly, putting his hands up in surrender, “I’m just surprised, is all. Your last car was still working pretty well.”

“I’m an adult, Buck,” she smiles, “and it was still working, yes, but God knows for how much longer. I wanted to bite the bullet and get something new before my old car broke down and stopped working. I had that car since I was 16, I’m 30 now so it’s a miracle it still worked but I was only driving it on borrowed time.”

“That’s fair,” he shrugs, “you just didn’t tell me you were looking for a new car.”

“Do I have to give you notice of all my impending purchases?” she asks, raising her eyebrow and she doesn’t mean to get too defensive, it’s just that when Buck questions her financial decision all she can think about is what might happen if he gets suspicious and tries to dig a little deeper than the lies she tells him...

“No, I’m sorry,” he shakes his head, and the relief runs through her like water down a stream, “I just get a little protective sometimes.”

“I get that,” she nods, smiling as she puts a hand on his shoulder, “but I’m okay now, really. Harley and I are fine, we have plenty of money to take care of ourselves, and Doug is out of the picture.”

“And thank God he is.”

“Trust me, I feel the same way,” she laughs, “Now. Stop staring at my new mom car and get in your own car to get to work before you’re late. Ogling your big sister’s latest purpose probably isn’t going to be a good enough excuse for your boss, especially since you’ve only just started your period of probationary times as a firefighter.”

“Got it, on my way. Give Harley a kiss for me!”

“Always,” she grins, waiting for her brother to pull out of the parking lot before she pulls out her cellphone.

Wrong cellphone, she realizes, putting it back in her pocket before reaching into another pocket to pull out her disposable cellphone.

She’s got a job to do sometime within the next few weeks, and she hadn’t felt comfortable doing her research at the car dealership, so she needs to start to catch up now before her hospital shift starts later.

The initial conversations of course don’t include legal names, but she’s figured out who this woman whose husband needs killing’s name actually is. She always does. Creativity and analyzation off the smallest details is what makes her so good at what she does.

Her name is Tatiana, Tatiana Robert. She’s unmarried but this month’s abusive piece of trash to eliminate is her boyfriend, and his name is...

Wait a minute, that sounds familiar. Where does she know the name Howard Han from? Well, maybe she’s just being paranoid; living a double life will do that you. Still, she can’t help but type his name in on Facebook, and look for the first name who has “Los Angeles” as their location. She curiously clicks on his profile picture, and his profile is private so that’s really all the information she has on him, but it’s more than enough.

He’s wearing an LAFD t-shirt.

Didn’t Buck mention a coworker named Howard who went by Chimney?

[thran-duils]

When the Truth Comes Out (P.1)

Title: When the Truth Comes Out (Part 1) Summary: Reader/Professor Novak. The reader is in graduate school and has fallen into a surreptitious relationship with her married professor. Professor Novak is educated, handsome, and fascinating. But he has an issue of drawing healthy boundaries for him and the reader. And it all comes to a head when their secret is found out and everything has to change. Words: 2,143 Warnings: Smut, ***ANGST***, infidelity, emotional abuse, eventual happiness(?idk if it’s super happy but lmfao)

Chapter Two || Fanfic masterpost || Masterpost (mobile)

Professor Novak’s hands moved up your sides, lips smashed together. His arms wrapped around you, holding you close as he drove up into you.

You leaned back, biting your lip, feeling him inside. Your hand finding a pile of papers that slid out from beneath your weight, causing you to yelp as you started to fall back. Novak’s grip tightened instantaneously on you, jerking you back up.

“Your desk is a mess,” you teased breathlessly, rolling your hips to him.

“I think we are looking at the culprit for that,” he husked in return, his lips finding yours again.

You smiled against his kiss, your hand finding bare desk this time to avoid another mishap. It was true; you had been bent over his desk only moments before and you had succeeded in knocking over his pens to start with when your hands reached out for grounding. Now his papers, whatever they were. He would collect them later.

A vacuum started down the hall and he froze, fully seated inside you.

You turned your head, just as shocked as he was.

“Shit, it is Tuesday, isn’t it?” he hissed, drawing your attention back.

“What does that mean?”

“Janitor is in the building on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays.”

“They probably have headphones in,” you tried to reassure him, running your hands down his arms.

Novak shook his head. “That’s not the problem. How are you going to get out of here without being seen? It’s damn near eleven o’clock.”

“I’ll crawl out of the window,” you whispered, a hand coming down to grip his ass. You just wanted him to continue.

He shot you an annoyed look, “We are on the third floor. Nice try, Y/N.”

“We’ll figure it out after,” you pouted, rolling your hips to him again, sighing softly feeling his cock brush inside you. “Please.” You batted your eye lashes, giving him doe eyes.

It worked; he fell into your rhythm. And soon he had you laying back on your back as he plummeted into you. His hands held tight as they cupped underneath your thighs, his eyes hooded with lust watching your breasts bounce. You touched yourself, biting your lip at him sensually as he locked his gaze on the movement. When your back arched as you saw stars, you whimpered, trying to keep quiet.

Novak followed and his hands planted on either side of you on the desk as he held himself up from collapsing onto you after he had emptied himself. You lazily reached up, running your fingers gently through his hair. He hummed in approval and you massaged softly, helping him to come back down.

He leaned down, giving you a long, deep kiss. “You are lovely,” he breathed.

“You flatter me,” you whispered in return, a grin despite yourself.

Pulling away, he told you, “I mean it.”

You knew he did. He was risking a lot sleeping with you, stealing kisses and time with you when he should be at home. Let alone the scandal it might cause that he was with a student, no matter if you were in your mid-twenties now, in grad school. You had really nothing to lose reputation wise; you would not face the bigger repercussions. He had reminded you time and time again to be quiet about it, saying he did not want you to betray him.

Sitting up, you suddenly took notice that the vacuum sounded more distant.

“Hmm, seems the janitor went upstairs. See? They were wearing headphones.”

“Yeah, luckily it is Tuesday and not Thursday. They come in to vacuum the offices then and that would have put us in a very precarious situation.”

“Truly,” you agreed, sliding off his desk and reaching for your clothes. You dressed quickly, knowing that this was the opportunity for you to sneak out of the building. He was doing the same, gathering up his things.

You bent to pick up his papers and he waved you off, “I’ll do it in the morning. Don’t waste time.”

Shrugging, you straightened back up and went to go snatch your purse off the ground by the door. When you stood back up, Novak was by his desk, holding out a bill towards you.

“Take it.”

“Are you… paying me now?” you asked, unable to think if you should feel offended or amused.

Novak looked unamused himself and he told you firmly, “I saw you eating ramen in the dining hall.”

Realizing he was giving you grocery money, your annoyance melted away. You stepped closer, “You ‘saw’ me?” He said nothing and you smirked, imagining him watching you. You knew he kept an eye on you and happened to show up where you were at times. You had caught him before, giving him mischievous smirks across the green, across the room, to let him know you saw him. He had told you he needed to watch out for you, that you were at risk of being swept away from him. You had laughed when he told you that, but you knew he was serious; he had accused you once of taking a boy back to your dorms from one of your classes; he had seen the two of you leaving the student union, walking close together. He had been actually envious. You knew it was frankly unfair he would be upset about it if you had since he was married. But, you enjoyed the way he coveted you too much.

You still had not taken the bill – you could see it was a crisp hundred though. Squaring your shoulders, you asked, “What if I just like ramen?”

“I don’t care,” Novak stated. “You should be eating better. And I know the refund checks aren’t coming for another week.” You narrowed your eyes slightly, still not moving. You loved teasing him, knowing you could get under his skin. All that power was intoxicating at times. He rose his eyebrows and ordered, “Y/N, take it.”

Sighing dramatically, you said, “Fine” as you grabbed it from him. “Thanks. I’ll be sure to buy some broccoli and spinach to go in my ramen.”

“Y/N,” he warned, and you grinned widely at him as you stuck the money into your pocket

“Yes, dad, I’ll eat better.”

“’Daddy’”, Novak corrected you, his lip upturned into a small smirk.

You chortled and said, “Yes, ‘daddy.’ I’ll make sure to stay healthy for you.” You added playfully, “You know you’re only 35, right? I mean, technically, you could be a daddy but –”

“Enough,” Novak cut you off, ushering you towards the door. He needed to go with you to lock the building door behind the two of you. “They are on the next floor. We need to go before they come back down.”

As you opened the door, you smiled to yourself, knowing he did not want you to tease him for his kink. He followed at your back, locking the door behind you, and ushered you forward again in hushed tones. You smiled, feeling the danger of the situation. The two of you slinking around in the dark to escape the building, hiding your midnight tryst.

<> <> <>

Castiel texted you while you were in class, asking you to come to his office at 3:00pm. When you had seen the text, you were confused. It was the middle of the day, so unless he had gone off his rocker, it not a booty call. You did not have a class with him, so it was nothing to do with academics.

Walking across campus, you racked your brain thinking about what could be going on. His father was sick. You prayed nothing had happened with him, that would devastate Castiel.

You two had been seeing each other – still in secret, of course – for over a year and a half since that night escaping from the janitor. That put you at almost two years counting the time before then. What had started out as sex had blossomed into something deeper. The first time you had called him by his first name, it was real… the dynamic change in the relationship was real. The declarations of love came next. The two of you confided in each other, sharing intimate things. It was hard to explain to your roommate why you never brought anyone home from the bar.

Knocking twice on his door, he beckoned from the other side to come in. You moved into the office, cheeks flushed from the chill outside, hair windswept. Closing the door, you blurted out, “What’s up?” as you turned back around to look at him.

Your face fell for only a few seconds before you composed yourself again; he looked wrecked. His sweater was wrinkled – so unlike him – and he looked like he had not slept. You thought the worse, your mind going back to his dad.

“She knows.”

Forehead creased in confusion, you asked, chuckling nervously, “Am I supposed to know who ‘she’ is?”

“My wife. She knows. About us.” Your face fell immediately as the gravity of the situation fell on you. He exhaled shakily, rubbing his hands up his face roughly, pulling at his hair at the end. He shook his head and said, “She suspected something, she said. So, she looked at my phone.”

“She knew your password?”

Castiel shot you a reproachful look that made you want to recoil. “We’re married, Y/N. We know each other’s passwords.” The way he said it made it sound like you were stupid. “Not sharing that with her would have been suspicious.”

“Sorry,” you muttered, avoiding eye contact. “I just didn’t know.”

Castiel sighed again and said apologetically, “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just…” he trailed off. He paused before saying, “Thankfully she doesn’t know who you are. She didn’t see any of the pictures. And I don’t have your name saved as the contact.” You understood that; you had his number under an alias as well. “She just saw…. our texts. From two days ago. She didn’t even read them all… she said she couldn’t. She only saw a few. But… me saying ‘I love you, night’ confirmed everything.”

You swallowed sharply, not knowing what to say. He was waiting for you to say something though, he was staring at you.

“So. What happens?”

“I fix it. I have to… I can’t leave her, Y/N,” Castiel told you, sounding strained. He could not keep eye contact with you. You felt like you had been hit by a freight train, staring at him in shock. He exhaled sharply at your expression and said exasperated, “Christ, Y/N. Don’t look at me like that.”

“How do you want me to look at you?” you snapped, trying to hold back the tidal wave of emotion welling up inside of you.

“She told me she was pregnant!” Castiel barked, and then closed his mouth, knowing he was being louder than he should be. There were so many people in the building, including in offices nearby. You could not help your mouth fallen open though. They had been trying, but she had not gotten pregnant for years. “She was saving it. The surprise.” There were tears forming in his eyes as he shook his head, letting out a small laugh void of humor. “We’ve been trying for so long. And… it has to all happen like this.”

“’Like this’,” you echoed, catching his attention. “So, that’s it then? We’re just…”

You trailed off, not being able to finish.

Castiel stood up from his desk now, coming around it to you. His hands cupped his face and as much as you wanted to shove him away, you did not. You craved his touch, you wanted to be comforted.

“No. I mean, I don’t want that,” Castiel told you tearfully. “We just need to… back off for a little bit.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know, Y/N. I-I don’t know.” He looked at a loss. Choking back tears, you looked away from him. “Hey, look at me.”

Shaking your head, you shoved him away. He looked shocked, his jaw going slack. You wiped angrily at your eyes, trying to hide all evidence of tears threatening to spill over.

“No,” you told him angrily. “That’s not fair. You don’t get to ask me to just wait around for you to get your shit together.”

“Y/N, now don’t—” There was an edge to his voice, a switch in his demeanor. He was going to try to persuade you to be docile about it, as he always did, but you were not hearing it.

Turning around, you flung the door open and stormed out, leaving it open behind you. You did not know if he called out after you because all you could hear was a roar in your ears, just wanting to get out of that goddamn building and be back in your room.

~~~

CASTIEL FOREVER TAGS: @willowing-love @perseusandmedusa @greenappleeyes @afanofmanystuffs @earthtokace @shikaros-blog @marisayouass @splendidcas @stixnstripesworld 

[kaitosimp]

hello kaito simp does this work lol playlist

teehee

Hi hi!! Yeah it worked!! :D Looking over it I only recognize starlight by muse so I'm excited to listen to the rest! Also it didn't let me listen cause it said I need a spotify acc so I'm gonna youtube them 😂

WARNING: THIS IS SUPER LONG CAUSE I GOT CARRIED AWAY WRITING LIKE ALWAYS LOL

The tiny glowing screens song is so cool! I just sat here vibing to it full on 🤣 The Kaito vibes hit me hard near the end aND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED WHEN IT WENT ON ABOUT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING AND THE JUPITER/UNIVERSE THINGS, ITS K A I T O

OMFG ELEVATE MADE ME THINK OF KAITO OVERCOMING ANY AND ALL OBSTACLES IN HIS WAY CAUSE HE HAS DREAMS HE WANTS TO FUFILL AND HOW HIS GOALS PUSH HIM FORWARD AND EVEN WHEN HE FEELS LIKE ITS ALL POINTLESS HE KNOWS HE HAS TO FIGHT ON????? GOD I LOVED IT SO MUCH

Supermassive black hole has Kaito written allll over it 👁👄👁 Idk if its just me but it sounds like him being in love in a very funky way!! And also him dying/being in some sort of pain cause of the one bit "dont you know i suffer", ow :,)

I KNEW IT- I FUCKING KNEW BLOOD ON THE GROUND WOULD REMIND ME OF HIS ILLNESS AND I WAS RIGHT 😭😭😭💔 ITS HIM LIKING SOMEONE IN THE KILLING GAME & BEING SICK AND BEING BITTER ABOUT IT STG

Gravity's union is right up my alley, I really liked this one!! I dunno was it is about it but man, its so captivating 👁👁 I don't know how to describe it but I got Kaito vibes (and pairings vibes but thats just me like always 💀🤣) its got this whole feel with gravity and collisions that it just makes sense??

Another one up my alley, greatness or death, I loved it!! RIGHT OFF THE BAT I GOT HIT WITH KAITO FEELS, WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN???? HIM FEELING BEAT DESPITE THE HEROIC OPTIMISTIC PERSONA, HIM BEING SICK, BEING DESTINED TO FUFILL HIS DREAMS OF GOING TO SPACE OR DYING FROM THE ILLNESS, THE LIE HE'S LIVED BEING THAT HE PRETENDED TO BE FINE ALL ALONG, THERES JUST SO MUCH THAT PERFECTLY FITS HIS SITUATION IN GAME!!! NOT TO MENTION WHAT A BANGER IT IS, ASDFGHJKL THIS IS MY FAVE ONE

Rise above it- Kaito oVERCOMING ANYTHING IN HIS WAY AND COMING OUT ON TOP ONCE MORE, I FUCKING LOVE IT

Stellar is literally Kaito's love song omf :,)) ITS LITERALLY ABOUT TAKING THE PERSON HE LIKES OUT TO SPACE, SPACE IN GENERAL, AND BEING IN LOVE????? ITS HIS MF LOVE SONG BYE

Loud like love made is so good it me want to be in love 💀😂 It feels like the backround song to a couple doing fun shit at 3 am, so gUESS WHAT I PICTURED IN MY HEAD- SAIMOTA BEING DORKS IN LOVE 😔✋🏽

J u s t from the title of my hero, i already picture it'll be from Shuichi's/Maki's perspective @ Kaito :,) "there goes my hero, watch him as he goes" aND I WAS RIGHT AND OH MY GOD WHEN IT SAID "dont the best of them bleed out" IT KILLED ME CAUSE OF KAITO'S DEATH 😭😭😭😭😭

Ngl with space lord I giggled every time it said "space lord mf" asdfghkl 😭😭😂 The first thing I thought about was just Kaito being a badass and just crushing his enemies 💀😂 Cause of the bits where it says he left his throne a million miles away (in space) and just from what the song says, its him reigning over and being a badass space king 👌🏼

As soon as it said "i want to take you to the planetarium" in the planetarium song i automatically thought it was him asking someone out on a date 🤣 But then the 'faked sick' parts started and once again, I was reminded of his illness :,) It'll never stop hurting

Woahhh, using sounds like him learning how to accept himself and knowing his worth and overcoming his issues tbh!! bUT OFC "guess i missed coughing my lungs up every morning" ASDFGJKL WHY IS THERE A REFERENCE TO HIS ILLNESS IN ALL OF THESE IMA CRY

WHEN HIDEAWAY SAID "take the sky for example, a canvas of a billion suns but our local hero shines them out by day" I ALMOST SCREECHED- THE WHOLE SONG IS KAITO VIBES KAITO VIBES KAITO VIBESSSSSSSS

Lucky stars made me feel so s o f t :,))))) I dunno why but it made me think of a Kaito ship and them being star crossed lovers even tho its ironic cause it literally says thank you lucky stars :,) Its just so nice 😭😭

Man, I wonder what the disease song will remind me of 🥲 yEAH THERE IT IS, HIS ILLNESS OH MY FUCKING GOD I- THIS IS MY 2ND FAVE ONE FOR SURE, ITS LITERALLY HIM STRUGGLING WITH THAT SICKNESS AND ALL THE BAD FEELINGS SURROUNDING IT, IT FITS TOO WELL

Ahhh not the only one feels like Kaito trying to reach out and be there for the people he cares about while struggling with his own issues, or could also be him trying to convince himself that feeling down/sad/etc is normal and that he should accept any help he's offered 👀

Trust fall made me think of him starting to get interested in someone and taking that shit in strideeee, so the trust fall thing makes me think of him taking that leap of faith into love despite being a super new thing yes? 🌚

Mannnn, malboro nights made me want to fall in love like love like loud 😂 Kaito liking someone with a funky vibe for days!!

Taking off literally made me think of Kaito about to walk into that gODDAMN ROCKET IN HIS EXECUTION, DAMN 😭

I ALREADY KNEW STARLIGHT BUT I USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO LISTEN TO IT AGAIN, IT GIVES ME SO MANY KAITO FEELS ITS UNREAL 😭😭😭

I'm gonna fully pretend and convince myself the astronaut is about Kaito fufilling his dreams of going to space and becoming an astronaut in a non-despair au aND NOT HIM UP IN THAT ROCKET CONVINCING HIMSELF THAT HE GOT TO BE AN ASTRONAUT AND GOT TO SEE THE THING HE LOVES THE MOST IN HIS LAST MOMENTS-

Omfgggg for miles made me think of post-game Kaito 😭😭😭 BRO "all of our trials will be milestones on the way" "there's no greater love than the one who shed blood for his friends" AND ALL THE STUFF ABOUT LOOKING BACK AND BEING ALIVE ASDFGJKL ITS LITERALLY HIS SACRIFICE AND HIS LOVE FOR HIS FRIENDS AND THE NEED HE HAD TO SAVE THEM- POST GAME KAITO POST GAME POST GAME KAITOOOOO VIBES, THIS IS MY 3RD FAVE ON THIS LIST

Holy fucking shit I'm super sorry this is so long, I got carried away 👁👄👁 BUT IGNORING THAT, THIS HAS BEEN SUPER FUN AND I LOVED ALL OF THESE SO THANK YOU CAUSE SO MANY OF THESE ARE GOING TO MY OWN PLAYLIST YOU HAVE AN AMAZING TASTE IN MUSIC LEMME TELL YA 💜💜💜💜

[morningsound15]

i seem to remember you giving some podcast recs that i wanted to check out, but for some reason i can't find them on your blog anymore. am i mistaken? if not, do you think you could repeat them?

omg hi! sorry tumblr was NOT showing me any asks i’m really sorry idk when you sent this but yes! i love this question i love podcasts, and i think i’ve rec’d a few individual episodes? but i’ve definitely not made a whole post so i’m so down for this

idk what sorts of podcasts you listen to but i basically divide my podcasts into shit i listen to for education (leftist podcasts, news podcasts, etc,) and shit i listen to to keep myself sane (pop culture/movie/music podcasts, gay podcasts, tv recap podcasts of shows i used to watch) so i’m gonna give you a lot! basically my whole podcast queue list lol

i’ll link you to their online pages (if they have some! either youtube or a digital library) but most of them are on spotify i believe, a lot of these podcasts also have patreons and i personally listen to all of them through apple podcasts\

(under the cut because it’s LONG hope this helps!)

shit for education:

in a clump right off the top:

-- Revolutionary Left Radio - #1 essential listening for people interested in socialism, leftism, communism, marxism-leninism, etc. current events analyzed with leftist theory, great interviews, honest perspectives from organizers.

-- Red Menace - featuring the host of Rev Left, a podcast that mainly deep dives into leftist theory and texts (specifically marxist-leninist theory, but also mao, fanon, stalin, etc.) if you are new to theory and have trouble tackling difficult texts, this is the podcast for you

-- Guerrilla History - from the host of Rev Left, a podcast that looks at revolutionary uprisings from the perspective of those on the ground, using the past to help make sense of the present

and then some others:

-- 5-4 - "A podcast where we dissect and analyze the Supreme Court decisions that have made this country –by a wide margin– the worst country in the world" all about the us supreme court and the decisions that keep us strangled. great legal analysis highly recommend for people who care about the courts

-- Bad Faith - featuring former bernie sanders press secretary briahna joy gray and chapo trap house host (i know guys i know) virgil texas, this is a more accessible introduction to thinking outside of the american political binary. for people who liked bernie and need to figure out where to go next, this podcast might be helpful, or it just might feed your petty soul

-- Citations Needed - if you only listen to one american news podcast, let it be this one. with a focus on american news and how our news industry manipulates us into supporting imperialism and mass death

-- Death Panel - on pop culture and politics, particularly focusing on the healthcare industry in america and why it’s designed to kill all of us.

-- Decolonized Buffalo (youtube) - with a focus on decolonial theory and current events

-- IT’S GOING DOWN - with a focus on revolutionary anarchist, anti-fascist, anti-capitalist grassroots revolts and social movements across north america.

-- Millennials Are Killing Capitalism - i really recommend everyone follow the host of this podcast josh briond (@ jos.hau on insta and @ queersocialism on twitter) because they have been fundamental to my personal journey into leftist literature, their podcast is incredible and their pop culture takes are always fire. interviews, theory, essential takes on the news.

-- Moderate Rebels (podcast / youtube) - if you want to learn about international news/foreign policy from an anti-imperialist source, Moderate Rebels is the best recommendation i can give you. greyzone reporters Max Bluementhal and Ben Norton host a weekly news podcast that is essential listening if you want to understand what it is to live in the core of the world’s imperialist center

-- Radical Reflections - for an international perspective on revolutionary history, from a comrade based in scotland

-- The Black Sublime Podcast - for a black, queer perspective on pop culture, politics, oppression, and liberation

-- The East is a Podcast - for a perspective on leftist theory, history, and revolutionary movements centering people from the (quote unquote) ‘east’. recent episodes cover such topics as (including but not limited to) china, india, paul robeson, war, decolonization, palestine, iran, tunisia, and strongly centering muslim writers, thinkers and scientists

-- The Minyan - jewish comrades! (specifically marxist-leninist)

-- The Red Nation Podcast -- indigenous comrades (mostly in north america - USA/Canada). essential listening for anyone living in emperial/colonial powerhouses in north america. The Red Nation also has great educational resources

-- Useful Idiots - standard news podcast from people much smarter than me who hate the political establishment almost as much as i do. they have some really good interview episodes

-- Working Class History - some really cool episodes on important events in working class history! great episode on The Exotic Dancer’s Union aka the first stripper co-op in america

shit for sanity/fun:

-- Bad Romance Podcast - comedians jourdain searles and bronwyn isaac watch terrible romantic comedies and then tell you all about them

-- Buffering the Vampire Slayer - THE buffy rewatch podcast! they’re deep into season 6 at this point, but features great (gay!) content, buffy analysis, excellent guests, interviews with the original cast, and an original song every episode based on that episode. this podcast brings me only joy

-- Girls on Porn - a porn review podcast featuring only ethically-made porn, tackling kink, fetishization, racism in the porn industry, and so much more

-- GLEEwind - don’t judge me lol i like recap podcasts and this one has the right amount of fun with the right amount of will schuester hate

-- How Did This Get Made? - funny people (and great actors) Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas watch truly awful movies and then talk all about it

-- Keep It! - for everything in music, tv and celebrity culture featuring Ira Madison III, Louis Virtel, and Aida Osman. great interviews, always makes me laugh

-- Las Culturistas - bowen yang and matt rogers’ weekly culture podcast, also featuring great interviews and a lot of survivor talk

-- Popcast - i don’t like the NYT but i do sometimes like their music podcast, they review new shit, big shit, and all the shit you might be hearing about from the music world

-- Still Processing - again, do not like the NYT but DO like what jenna wortham and wesley morris have to say about what’s happening in the world

-- The Big Picture - another movie podcast! this one features great interviews with actors and directors, as well as takes on popular movies that i generally agree with (although way too much love for marvel movies for me)

-- Why Won’t You Date Me? - nicole beyer’s hilarious podcast where she talks to other comedians about their dating woes. surprisingly heart-felt, always hilarious

[laughingpinecone]

Yuletide letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3  

Hello dear author! I hope you’ll have fun with our match. Feel free to draw from general or fandom-specific likes, past letters, and/or follow your heart.

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic (when in doubt, tell me what’s happening to them five, ten, twenty years in the future!), hurt/comfort, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, tropey plots that are already close enough to characters/canon, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploring the ~deep lore, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played entirely straight, sensory details, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships), emphasis on inhuman traits of characters who were human once and have sort of shed it all behind

Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, unrequested characters popping up.

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay!), canon retellings, consent issues, actual covid (fantasy plagues are okay)

Les Cités Obscures: any

This is a very general “please, anything in the style of canon, just maybe with less thoughtless sexism” request. I want to lose myself in these cities again, and in the strange lands that connect them. I’d be happy to follow any of the known characters and/or OCs, or eschew characters altogether and write about the cities themselves. What caught your imagination in Brüsel, Xhystos, Taxandria, Alaxis...? The history of some cool building that was only marginally featured in one of the stories? Or an OC city! If you’ve got a favourite European city that doesn’t already have its obscure counterpart, please tell me all about it! Go big, go wild! What strange and classically surrealist happenings take place within its walls? Or even... outside Europe... Nerding out about architecture is of course very welcome. I would also love to read a story based on any Schuiten illustration, contextualizing it as if it were part of this ‘verse. Here’s a bunch of them, for example!

Ghost Trick: Cabanela

You know.. him. Dazzlingly OTT, untiring, rock-solid self-esteem, loyal to a fault, following a rhythm of his own, flawless intuition until it fails and it all burns down… him. I just want to see more of him doing stuff! The way he’s chill and open toward new people (like Sissel and Missile in ch15) makes him perfect to throw at most other characters and see how they react to the sparkles… I’d love some focus on how ridiculous his aesthetic is, half Saturday Night Fever half hardboiled detective half bubbly preteen (for a total of 150%) and yet he makes it work. Or how ruthless he can be, possibly for the sake of the people he cares for. The quote “The intimacy of big parties”. Him and Alma in the new timeline bonding over knowing (once Jowd has spilled the beans) but not remembering that terrible timeline. Some tropey scenario on the job. Snark-offs with Pigeon Man, by which I mean PM snarks and it bounces off him like water off a spotless white goose’s back.

Ship-wise it’s only Cabanela/Jowd whenever it’s not infidelity, Cabanela/Alma in what-ifs also if it’s not infidelity and Cabanela/Alma/Jowd for me (and Lynne/Memry and Yomiel/fianSissel on the side). There are a bunch of shippy prompts in all my past letters - I would however reiterate here that Jowd. is. the worst tease. always. Like, just saying, but assume he’s pining big time and Jowd and Alma figure it out - they’d make a national sport out of excruciatingly protracted teasing.

Conversely, Cabanela/Lynne and Cabanela/Yomiel are NOTPs especially from Cabanela’s side. So while I appreciate the thick tension of a good Yomiel VS Cabanela confrontation like everyone and their cat, and also really appreciate a roughed-up Cabanela, and I do love Yomiel in his own right… I don’t want Cabanela being into it. Adrenaline junkie he may be but this hurts and his coat’s a mess and there’s no perfect winning scenario so he hates every second of it. (JOWD being super into Cabanela being roughed up is another matter altogether and he should probably mind his own business. ...incompatible kinks, truly tragic. they’ll have to find some other common ground. they’re smart, resourceful, playful fellows, I’m sure they’ll manage)

Kentucky Route Zero: Donald kentuckyroutezero

I love everyone in the cast, all acts and interludes, and I am extremely into all the themes this incredible work of art ended up exploring. Agreeing with the overall doom and gloom up to Act IV, I was blown away by Act V’s strong affirmation of the importance of the arts and of the bonds we make and of carving up spaces for ourselves in capitalism’s wake. Donald was, indeed, not a part of any of that. Even the final interlude updates us on Lula and mentions Joseph, but the big guy is nowhere to be seen. So, you know, there’s fanfiction! He’s so static, defeated. I am fascinated by the chain of metaphysical spaces that goes surface -> Zero -> Echo -> Dogwood and even within that framework, the hall of the mountain king is like a hopeless dead end. Dude’s terminally stuck. So - once again, in the spirit of transformative works, how could he get... you know... unstuck? Did Lula’s momentous appearance in Act III shake him? Having a functioning Xanadu again, perhaps? How could he interrogate that oracle, what recursive wonders would it show him? If he decides to leave, what does it feel to be on the surface again after so long, or on the river perhaps? Maybe he is forced to leave by the flood, if not this one, the next... Having him meet any other character would be amazing. Past or future time spent with Weaver... seeing Conway again, changed... programmer guy chatting up musician androids... did he know Carrington from his college days or was Carrington only a friend of Lula’s?

As for Lula herself and Joseph too: “Flipping through the pages, Conway is able to gather that it’s a story about three characters: Joseph, Donald, and Lula. It’s something like a tragic love triangle, but much more complex. Some kind of tangled, painfully concave love polygon.” 😔 I ship them as a full triad, if you can nudge them in that direction, good. But I’m very open to non-romantic resolutions as well, going past their messy feelings to find each other as friends after so many years maybe. Or... a start. idk.

I’d be interested in fic that leans on the game’s adjacent genres: wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I’m also open to AUs, real or through Xanadu. This also feels like a good place to stress that I really, really like caves.

And now for something completely different: FAQ:  The “Snake Fight” Portion of Your Thesis Defense is in the tagset this year. I’d say that the crossover with the snake portion of Here and there along the Echo writes itself, but it would not be correct, as in fact I would like you to write it for me. Feel free to not feature Donald if you focus on this crossover instead!

Uru would be a fun crossover too, for Donald specifically. He’s very DRC-shaped in how he tilts at doomed projects which just so happen to be deep underground.

Pyre: Volfred Sandalwood

This is a Volfred solo, Volfred&literally anyone or Volfred/Tariq, /Oralech or /Tariq/Oralech request. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure, while out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. fwiw I also enjoy Jodi/Celeste and Bertrude/Pamitha a lot!

I feel deeply for all of Pyre’s main themes - literacy, degrees of freedom, the fragile time that is the end of a historical cycle, nobodies rising up to the occasion, building a better society, and of course found family, “distance cannot separate our spirits” and all that jazz, and Volfred is squarely rooted at the center of all of them. I really really love everything he stands for, even if he’s overbearingly smug in standing for it. Just please tell me things about my fave. His relationship to the Scribes (as a historian, a some kind of vision, via *ae or once he’s a star himself)? A ‘forced vacay’ Downside ending where he looks at the Union from afar and keeps living in this strange transformational place? Life in a cramped Blackwagon that was meant for like 5 people tops and is currently eight Nightwings, a herald and an orb? Since he picked him for the job to begin with, does he respect and cherish Hedwyn as he dang well should? What does it feel like to try and Read a herald? Was he ever in danger, in the Commonwealth or in the Downside? What daring act of resistance did he and Bertrude pull off at some point in their past? It’d be cool if one of his old pamphlets came up at some point. Does he puff up as prime minister because he’s nervous, and who can see past his hyper-professionalism and lend a hand? Please roast him big time about the votes he assigns to the various Nightwings in his planner? What’s his attitude toward the flame’s purification (what with being a tree but mostly like, as a general concept. He did nothing wrong!) (well he definitely said some things wrong and sometimes oftentimes the ego jumps out, but his intentions did nothing wrong)? When did his calculating approach fail him? Something with Pamitha along the lines of that edit that goes “Can we talk, one ten to another?“/"I am an eleven, my girl, but continue”? Dude could easily be voted sexiest voice in the Downside - how much is he aware of it? Does he sing? I love how he bears his ‘reader’ brand proudly. And speaking of scars, I have to wonder, looking at Manley for comparison, if the shape of his head, with that massive crack, isn’t also due to injuries.

As a refrain from my general likes: emphatically yes xeno to both shippy interactions at all ratings and to gen explorations of what a Sap is like… I’d love to read all your headcanons.

Ship-wise, I enjoy him with Tariq as this kind of esoteric connection of minds, guarded words full of secret meanings, long contemplative walks together (is any external pov watching...?), Volfred’s Reader powers brushing against Tariq’s mind and getting weak in the knees at the starlit expanse he finds there, so unlike mortal thoughts. Tariq finds his individuality learning from him; Volfred presumably gets a transcendent glimpse of the Scribes. And I enjoy him with Oralech as pretty much the opposite of that, Oralech is so very mortal compared to him, such a precious, fleeting, burning life especially after his fall. Oralech’s idealism is very dear to me, it was their plan, their shared revolutionary spirit, I find it deeply moving. And I am very interested in seeing them rebuild their connection now that Oralech is back, changed, and in some ways he can learn to let go of his misconceptions and slowly open himself to Volfred’s love again, but in other ways that’s who he is now, with this deep-set anger, and what does it even feel to realize that you’re the symbol of the end of an era (the end of the Rites, the fading of the Scribes). I’m interested in both topside and downside endings for all of them, as long as they end up on the same side, the revolution was peaceful and they don’t angst too much about the side they ended in. Tariq can ‘find his way home’ in the near post-canon somehow or even be summoned again, as a different aspect of the same ‘moonlit vision’ that once inspired Soliam Murr.

Strandbeest: any

https://www.strandbeest.com/

I would just like words to go with these, please and thank you so very much. Worldbuild to your heart’s content! Specifically: I’m fascinated by the premise that the strandbeest are living creatures that evolve and adapt to their ecosystem. A world where life is just wind stomachs and sandy joints, and the tide that can catch you unaware. I would like a story that feels distinctly inorganic. The wonder that is the existence of these creatures. Their unique struggles. Weird and experimental if you like. With a mechanical focus, maybe?

I nominated four critters as a selection of the different cool things they can do - Percipiere Excelsus is huge and has the hammer mechanism, Suspendisse’s tail senses the hardness of the sand, Uminami is my fave caterpillar and the caterpillars overall feel like a new paradigm after a mass extinction event, Ader straight-up flies... but they’re all wonderful. If you want to focus on different strandbeest, please do!

Twin Peaks: Lucy Moran

Case fic but they don’t find out jack shit, someone disappears, David Bowie was there, it’s complicated. Fragmented, shifted, mirrored identities. New Lodge spaces. The risks of staring into the void for too long. Gentle illusions. Transcendence. The moon. Static buzzing. Any title from the s3 ethereal whooshing compilation used as a prompt, actually. Whatever goes on on Blue Pine mountain or the even more mysterious things that go on on White Tail mountain where exactly zero canon locations are found. Twin Peaks is all about the mystery to me, the awe of mystery and unknowability and the human drive to look beyond and the risks of getting a peek, and about shared consciousness and trauma taking physical form in an uncaring world. Go wild with the ethereal whooshing! But I also love the human warmth at the heart of it all, and sometimes it’s enough to anchor these characters and let them have a nice day. A fic entirely focused on some instance of coziness against the cold chaotic background of canon would be great too.

For Lucy specifically, a big draw for me is how canon (...s2 need not apply) empathizes with her way of processing the world. Not just Peaks, but On the Air’s protag who is basically a Lucy expy also gets the narrative completely on her side and that’s great. And I love how in s3, her focus on the small things around her is always echoed by bigger, climactic events beyond her horizon (bunnies / Jack Rabbit’s palace, chair order / Garland’s chair, her first scene talking about the two sheriffs / doubles everywhere...). It feels to me like some kind of off-kilter mindfulness and I love it. She’s also got a loving husband and an amazing son, which, in this economy and also this canon? Damn. The one functional family, imagine that. I am not interested in focus on family dynamics, but singularly, either Lucy/Andy or Lucy&Wally are great - in particular, I’m interested in how strange they are and yet they make it work. With the ruthless critique of traditional family structure that’s all over canon, maybe they make it work specifically because they’re not doing any of that. A bit like the Addams family... but... not goth...? Anyway. I’d love to see Lucy interact with and maybe strike a friendship with any character she’s never shared a scene with in canon! In the tagset, there’s Diane for some secretaries bonding, Audrey because??? why not?, Albert because it’d be an epic enemies to friends slowburn, some version of Laura in the future, if we’re feeling really daring maybe even some version of Coop in the future, still fragmented... or anyone you want! Outside the tagset I’d be curious about Hawk, Margaret and maybe Doris in particular, I think, and Phil, and Nadine and the Invitation to Love fandom in general (Frost says it still airs - did it get as weird as TP s3 did?), but if you have an idea with someone else, absolutely go for it!

Canon-specific DNWs: any singular Dreamer being the ‘source’ of canon, BOB (let alone Judy) being forever defeated in the finale, Judy being an active malevolent presence in the characters’ lives, clear explanations for canonical ambiguities, ‘Odessaverse’ being the reality layer, the Fireman’s House by the Sea being the White Lodge, whatever Twin Perfect’s on about, Cooper/Audrey, Cooper/Laura

[daddyd0nt]

Classrooms Should Not Be A “Safe Space”

There should be no classroom where a student feels unwelcome for trying to learn and better themselves.  Especially in areas like racial/cultural/gender studies, these should be places of LEARNING not just regurgitating what you all already agree with.  Let people ask questions.  Let people get it wrong and correct them.  

Sophomore year, I joined a sociology class that required no prerequisites or major (aka a beginner class open to everybody) and was really excited and open to the fact that it was run by the Black Studies department because I thought “wow, something other than the white upper class sociology professor, cool.”  When I got there, I was the only white person, and one of three non-black people.  All the students appeared to know the professor already from other classes, who gave off that “cool guy” vibe by opening his classes with music videos and saying ‘fuck’ a lot.  I mentioned him to a friend who had taken a class with him before and knew him as a person (she was black) and she advised I drop the class right away.  I thought she was saying this because the class itself was hard, but when I asked her, shed taken a different class and still advised me to drop it.  We were reading “All the Women Are White, All the Blacks Are Men, But Some of Us Are Brave” which is an amazing book and I was really into the class so I didn’t.  

I sensed some hostility from the professor building until one day I got up to go to the bathroom and he started yelling “You have no respect, you think you can just come and go you don’t respect the class or me” and I profusely apologized and explained that the Disability Resource Center should have sent him a letter that I was on medication and would likely need to use the restroom once or more per class.  I went to the restroom and took all my stuff and left crying (Im REALLY bad about being yelled at by authority figures) and one of the boys followed me out and was another person who told me, concerned, “Drop the class”.  I had to keep the class to have a full-time schedule or I couldnt live on campus so I had no other option by that point in the semester.

A few weeks later, I was reading along on my laptop (which id brought to every previous class, as my disability accommodations allowed it) and he thought i wasnt paying attention so he came by me and slammed a textbook to the ground next to me as hard as he could.  Im autistic, and the loud noise startled me and I started sniffling and he grabbed my laptop really roughly by the screen so the bottom part was hanging, saw that i was reading along, and then dropped it back on my desk with no apology.  I had a panic attack and left the class and, according to somebody who stayed, changed the topic of the day to my “white fragility” and that I was a “crying white woman” (which like technically yea but i wasnt crying because white guilt or being called racist I was crying because I was autistic and startled with a sudden loud noise which is a major trigger).

There were other smaller incidents (he had a major problem with my absences and took them personally even though i have a chronic illness and was absent from every class just the same, I even went out of my way to try to get to his because I was so afraid of him by then).  There was a time where we were talking about drugs and he asked a question about “what drug can get you a life sentence in jail” and I answered “LSD” because there had recently been a case in the news of exactly that happening and so of course I thought he was referring to that and was looking forward to finally getting something right.  How he corrected me: “This girl, again.  Black people don’t DO acid”.  Then he went on to talk about the crack epidemic and i was like oh that makes sense but what I said wasnt wrong?  

He was yelling at me “Do you ever pay any attention?  You barely even show up.  You probably expect me to hand you an A just for taking this class”.  This was at the end of class, and I said to him (crying, again, because i cant talk to ‘real adults’ without melting down) that I had autism and ADHD, that they were both on file with the DRC, and he said my learning disorder and disability were excuses that white people used “to give a head start to their lazy children” and that it was “entitled” of me to ask that my accommodations be respected because my disability was really just white laziness and he made a really good point about how black kids are less likely to be diagnosed with learning disabilities and are treated as behavioral cases which yeah 100% correct but he used it as a way to say “these disabilities dont really exist” not “these disabilities are under-diagnosed in certain communities”.

The final straw was my midterm paper.  I wrote on the book I mentioned above, a really good paper that I worked really hard on that met all the requirements of the rubric.  It came back to me marked C- without any notes or corrections on it, while everybody else had red writing all over their pages.  I mentioned it to my friend who had taken his class before and she said “Oh, he wont give the white kids higher than a C-, its the lowest grade he can give without having to cite a reason.  Hes bragged about it” (she knew him on a personal level, like been-to-his-house-for-dinner personal).  So I ripped the paper up and never went back to his class and just let him fail me for attendance.  It was the first class I ever failed.

The entire time I was trying to learn, I was treated like an outsider.  This was not the BSU or the African Heritage Society or any place where I should have been treated any different than any other student (those places would have been well right to reject me as those are not my spaces).  This was an entry-level classroom, but to the professor I did not belong there even though I paid the same tuition as my classmates.  Every question was treated as hostile.  Every mistake was a personal insult. Ive seen the same thing happen in my women’s lit classes or feminist-related sociology classes done to male students, although I can only speak to my own experiences, its distressing for EVERYBODY in the room, not just the person the professor targets.  

If you are in a classroom in good faith willing to learn, you belong in that classroom.  Professors who act otherwise do nothing but scare people who want to learn away from knowledge (I was afraid to take any classes that overlapped with the Black Studies department after that until my senior year when I took a literature class that overlapped, which was lovely and I learned a lot because the professor was interested in teaching).  There are clubs, student unions, etc that are wonderful to serve as a safe space and a space that excludes those outside of the community but the classroom, where we all pay the same to be, can NOT be a “safe space”.  Classrooms, if anything, should be a DANGEROUS space full of ideas and feedback that threaten the world view you walked in with.

IDK mostly this is just venting about a shitty professor because Im tweaking but yeah him and this lady I took a “women in drama” class with were two of the worst professors in existence and you shouldn’t take pride in making somebody afraid to learn.  IDK.  I feel like these kind of classes can really bring out abusive personality types because it is somehow implicit that there are some students you are allowed to abuse and take the high road if you get called on it (a MAN complaining about his FEMALE teacher in a class on WOMEN automatically looks bad).  IDK.  Abusive teachers are real and do real damage.

[hdnprplflwrs]

(1/2) So I’ve been getting into Miraculous Ladybug,

And let’s rate some ships, shall we? These are just the ones with the most material to work with and are the most interesting and are (as I see it) canon to the show. I’m not including ships where, canonically, one side actively dislikes the other or there was no interaction or a clear definition of a friendship between the two parties. This list also does not include polyamorous ships because there are no polyamorous relationships canonically.

1. Adrienette: Marinette kind of flickers between seeing Adrien as a friend and as her numbero uno, especially as the series progresses. Currently, with season 3 finished, she sees him as a mix of both but would still rather see that he’s happy and without her than with her and unhappy (example: her letting Kagami be with Adrien — also showing that there’s no beef between her and Kagami !!! kinda). Adrien, on the other hand, is such a confused boy™️ about his feelings and him stating ALL THE TIME that Marinette is “jUsT a FrIeNd” is very infuriating, but he never actually sees Marinette as more than a friend because the moment he starts developing that crush he’s already with Kagami and she’s already with Luka. As a ship, they just have terrible timing and they are great friends, but we all know they’re endgame (somehow). 5/10.

2. Ladynoir: Everyone and their grandmother knows that Chat Noir loves Ladybug (as if that isn’t mentioned every two episodes); Ladybug, in the other hand, sticks to the superhero code and firmly roots herself in the friendzone. I know there’s a lot of debate within the fandom about whether or not their relationship is toxic because they both don’t know each other’s true identities and, consequently, the complete picture of themselves. However, in the Oblivio episode, we see that Marinette and Adrien have an incredibly strong bond, as superheroes and as their normal selves. Because they were relieved of all the baggage from their past history (because hello, they forgot it all), they were able to build that relationship rather quickly and show a version of what could be. But in the Timetagger episode, Bunnyx mentions that their relationship is basically all over the place. Maybe with the added complications of Luka and Kagami in the mix, Ladybug and Chat Noir go on a wild adventure through the years, also not finding the right timing like Adrien and Marinette. But Timetagger implies that Ladybug and Chat Noir are endgame because Bunnyx has only seen their relationship up until Timetagger in her present, because she is sent back to the past (this time stuff just makes everything confusing), so she wouldn’t exactly know Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s future until she’s back in her Burrow with the fixed Bunny Miraculous, and even then she can’t tell them exactly what will happen. As of the S3 finale, we know that Chat Noir and Ladybug are still partner-in-crime goals. However, Marinette is kind of moving on from seeing Adrien as a crush with Luka, and we all know Chat Noir will always love Ladybug, so it really depends on their decisions on who they want to pursue a relationship with the next few season to determine their future. 7/10.

3. Ladybug and Adrien: THIS IS TOXIC. LET ME JUST GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM. Ladybug and Adrien both see the other as without fault even though they aren’t perfect. Ladybug has her moments where she’s star struck by Adrien, and Adrien has his moments where he’s star struck by Ladybug. In the Christmas special, Ladybug causes Santa Claus to get akumatized (but she also made the wrong assumption that Chat Noir was protecting Adrien from a baddie) because she attacks first and asks questions after. Her crush on Adrien got in the way of her usual analysis of the situation: if the Santa was akumatized, why is he delivering Adrien to his own house? Her views of Adrien and Chat Noir also affect her decisions this episode: the thought of Adrien being Chat Noir doesn’t even cross her mind because her perception of Chat Noir is so different from Adrien that she doesn’t question why there’s a Catacylsmed object next to her gift wrap and can’t put together that Adrien is Chat Noir. (Idk how exactly to explain it. Does this even make sense?) On Adrien’s side, his desperation for Ladybug to like both Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste can complicate things further. In the Desperada episode, he doesn’t stick to his guns and refuse the Snake Miraculous in the first place because HE ALREADY HAS ONE; instead, he spends MONTHS subjecting himself to saving Ladybug because he wants Ladybug to like Adrien, which is not how the Snake Miraculous should be used, as Master Fu describes. Basically, Ladybug’s and Adrien’s idolization of each other leads to them making extreme decisions regardless of the consequences to others; really this ship is just extremely toxic and I don’t like it. 3/10.

4. Chat Noir and Marinette: Probably the most wholesome out of the Marinette/Adrien/Ladybug/Chat Noir square. It is essentially the complete opposite of Ladybug and Adrien because neither have feelings for the other (in the sense that they won’t admit it). Marinette can see through all of Chat Noir’s bullshit because as Ladybug she’s spent so much time with him; Chat Noir gets to know Marinette better than Adrien could get to know Marinette because she doesn’t know he’s actually Adrien. Marinette also gets to know the sides of Chat Noir he would never show Ladybug as we see in the Glaciator (or something like that) episode; she also gets to know the extent of his love for Ladybug and acts upon the knowledge that she doesn’t want to hurt a friend as Ladybug. Chat Noir is able to get to know Marinette and you can kind of see that he’s began to crush on her (possibly because she so much like Ladybug except without the teasing **coughing fit ensues**). I mean, you saw that eye pop in Evilliustrator, don’t pretend you didn’t. He shows Marinette the surprise he planned for Ladybug, which is already, like, dambro. I honestly don’t think he would have shared that with anyone else. In Frozer, he ditches Kagami for Marinette and he’s getting more concerned about her well-being as time progresses. Chat Noir and Marianette is also when they found out about their secret identities in the Chat Blanc episode, so there’s a strong chance this relationship is going to play a part in the future. 8.5/10.

5. Kagadrien: This is another ship where the fandom is divided. Kagami receives a lot of hate for preventing the Adrienette ship from occuring as well as directly competing against Marinette for Adrien. However, I find her character intriguing. Her mother is incredibly strict and demands a lot from Kagami; she is a master of fencing and I assume she is also a master of everything else Kagami can do while blind, upping her anti. Because of this, Kagami grew up without true friends and into a decisive and brutally honest character. Her mother probably helped enforce this mindset of black-and-white, that if you aren’t right, you’re automatically wrong. Adrien is the first to offer her friendship and their shared experiences of growing up in a restrictive household without any friends allowed for a common ground. I wouldn’t necessarily say that Kagami is outgoing because that implies that she knows how to talk to people; her interactions at the beginning of the Ikari Gozen episode with Marinette demonstrate her isolated childhood as she doesn’t know how to comfortably converse with Marinette. On Adrien’s side, Kagami is one of the few people who look past his model career and pretty face and is the only person who can relate to him and his life. Kagami is also the only person his father has no qualms about him hanging out with and as fencing partners, they build a level of comradeship that Marinette and Adrien (if they never received their Miraculouses) couldn’t necessarily replicate. Kagami has already chosen Adrien and I think she lowkey blames Marinette for Adrien not being able to pick her or Marinette, but in the Captain Hardrock episode, Alya brought up the point that Adrien (Luka doesn’t really count because we all know he chooses Marinette) has a choice to make as well. Really, the only thing keeping this ship from happening is Adrien’s conflicting feelings for Ladybug, Marinette, and Kagami. If Adrien does choose Kagami, their parents would approve of the union as it combines their two strong families (GoT vibes anyone?) and their relationship would be able to flourish. The only other downside as a whole is that neither of them have a healthy relationship to model theirs off of as Adrien’s mother is missing and Kagami’s father isn’t even mentioned at all, but it creates an interesting dynamic of them learning how to navigate a relationship with another person. 7.5/10.

I got five more, but this is already pretty long. I’ll post the next five soon, but thoughts on these so far?

[solarsystem69]

Hi 😊 for the system asks how about 🤫: Any Funny System Stories? 🥰: Any Wholesome System Stories? 🎨: Any Hobbies That Everyone In The System Enjoys? - c (The Union)

(Some of this is text convos i’ve had with ex-best mates and some is nsfw cuz funny stories for us generally are rude in nature lol nothing too explicit just weird flirting really) 

we used to make lissie and max dance together and lissie is like "hes an arse but i like to dance so okay" and max is like "fuck off" he dances with her anyway. so like yeah. then we are listening to music and we're like "Dance with lissie" and hes like "no" and so lissie is like "just go back to your lonely tower then, you downer" and hes like "Fine, i will. I will go.. all alone... to my bedroom" like thats hmmm. so once hes gone, lilly is like "Thats an open invitation to you to come to his room to bone" and lissie is like "lol no... wait... is it??" and doll face is like "oh definitely  " and so we send lissie off to find out whether it was in invitation to bone or not. and in our front room we have screens. a main one for the outerworld and some other ones for different rooms in the inner world castle. and so i tap the screen cuz its a little sketchy to use. but anyway, lissie had been upstairs for a while so were worried he killed her  but we see what went on. Lissie went to his room and knocked on the door and he answers. and hes like "I thought you told me to go away." and shes like "Yeah but i didnt think you would and then lilly said you gave me an invitation to join you and bone so.. i just..." and hes like "You came to take me up on my offer to bone?" smirk and shes like "Ugh no. you're an arse and youre rude and obnoxious" and hes like "Oh please go on, im very flattered rn" and shes like "it wasnt a compliment. ugh i hate you." and he like " actually you dont. you like me " and shes like "what no ew" and hes like "You do. i can see it and i understand why. They are all the same downstairs and im not like them" and shes like "Woah, dont you dare say they. they are all individuals" and hes like "Yes. but theyve all got strong morals and good hearts. and youre bored. so you like me" and shes like "ill kick your ass okay. those things are good things to have. youre a jerk" and by now shes like gradually moved closer to be 'intimidating'? and hes like "oh really?" smirkyness and shes like "Yea. youre just so mean and arrogant and you are such a bad person, you need to be--" and hes like "Say it, baby. i dare you." and shes like "..Punished.." and then bam hes practically throwing her on the bed and like ......... so thats when i turned that screen off. so like hilarious in hindsight but at the time. shooketh.

Doll face and lilly integrated (merged into 1 chick) which makes sense because doll face is too emotionally stable but impulsive and lilly is too emotionally unstable but logical. they didnt choose it and it is fairly easy now. or easier. doll face (loved them so much but ) was wayyy too impulsive. always making decisions for the worse but were fun which would have been fine if they actually cared but they didnt. thats okay. they were young. and lilly was lonely and needed to care a little less about her past. and idk. but its deffo for the better. yeah they were family basically anyway so i think shes really happy about it tho sometimes they do look in a mirror like "Wow. now ive got no dick and some small tits". i mean lmao. she really does focus on the small boobs thing. and we're like "they are average 🙂 " and shes like "No. easy for u to say tit-anosaurus rex"

Also, Nate almost called one of our ex-best mates mum’s a milf. 

(ugh going through old messages to mates to see if i can find more funny stories ad accidentally came across trauma ewwww miss me with that shit)

Wholesome... hmmm. we have plenty of sorta funny, interesting stories. Oh actually yes. I know. Okay, so i sorta just am always stalking around the inner world so i see almost everything. But this starts in our front room (like our fronting room but our living room, its genius ik)  we were listening to music (or Nate was) and Fox decided to come dance in the fronting room to the bops and me and Lilly saw them dancing very saucily together 😏 ya know. So we laughed and left. So we're listening to music on the way home and Lilly, Fox and Nate are in the room. And its all chill and then Nate starts flirting with Fox and Fox is all blushing and looking down like "Idk what to do rn" and Lilly and I are laughing and then Fox slightly reciprocated (as a joke probably...) And now Nate jas him basically pinned against a wall. Not physically just like with his intense eye contact. 😂 its hilarious. Lilly is threatening to go get Lissie because she was like "You two dicks aren't going near each other." And Nates like "What gives you the right to declare where my cock goes?" 😂 like wow. And Lilly was like "Oh I'm just going to go get Lissie then" and Nate was like "No no. Don't do that." Cuz Lissie really has the right 😂😂. Nate asked Fox to kiss him and Fox said "No..." 😂 savage but then you make my balls so blue from heathers came on and I'm dead. Fox: Sorry. Its not you. I just can't.. Nate: Okay. You don't have to. Lilly and me: *Sad eye contact cuz we know why Fox doesn't want to kiss anyone* Fox: *Kisses Nate on the cheek* Nate: *Blushes adorably- breaking his bad ass persona* Nate: you know not all sexual stuff involves kissing. Uh. If you don't want it to. Fox: *giggles quietly like a lil twink* I don't want any sex though. As pretty as you are, I just don't want that. Nate: *is absolutely crushed* Yeah. Okay. But I need some cock so imma head out and try to gain some pride. Lilly: I've not built the village in this innerworld yet so.. Idk where you're heading out to. Nate: *sighs so deeply* I'll be in my room then. Stay out. Fox: Sorry. I didn't mean to egg him on at first only to deny him. I just thought it would be fun and then I thought even if it did lead to sex then it wouldn't matter because I don't mind and then I remembered that I did mind and I don't want that. Lilly: *hugs Fox* that's alright. He'll get over it. He's tried it on with all of us atleast once and we're all women. I would've saved Fox from Nate only He didn't look like he wanted to be saved. at this point in time, our innerworld was still being built by lilly so we all were sleeping in one room, with the littles. and i witnessed the sweetest thing. So I was doing the final checks to make sure everyone was in bed and since Nate doesn't want to sleep with the Littles anymore (they can be slightly irritating) I had to go find his room. He's in a tower room. Its not got a bed and it's freezing but hey no loud children. And as I'm about to turn the corner I see Fox knocking on his door after clearly being there for a while debating whether or not to because Nate told us to stay out. Quickly Nate opens the door and immediately as he sees fox, puts his hand on Fox's arm gently (how sweet. Hes not usually gentle) and Fox is all: I'm sorry. I just couldn't kiss you. Just recently with the bad things and the kissing involved in the bad thing. And Nates all: its okay. I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm so sorry. I understand. And he's hugging him. Like and kissing his head and hes like "Is that alright?" And fox is like "Yeah. Its nice." And squeezes the hug tighter. So sweet honestly. And then Nates like "I know I'm really sexual and that makes you uncomfortable a lot but you know I would never want you to do anything you didn't want to." And fox is all like "I'm just so scared that I'm never going to be able to kiss anyone ever again because I can't get over that time and I really want to forget it." And Nates hugging him really tight and cuz he's taller, he can rest his chin on Fox's head. And im still watching cuz I'm weird and entranced by these confessions. And then Nates like "Do you want to come in?" And Fox is like "No Littles tonight?" And Nates smiling nicely and is like "No I get nightmares and I don't wanna wake them up. And theyre annoying as heck." And fox is like "I know what you mean. Yeah I'll come in." And Nate leads Fox in by his hips gently. *fox and lissie talking bout feelings* Lissie: what's wrong, my sweet? Who hurt you? Fox: *Wiping tears away* no one really. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying. Lissie: Its okay to be sad sometimes. Fox: I'm not sad. I'm nothing. Just numbness. Lissie: that's worse than being sad. Tell me, sweetie. What happened. Fox: I asked Nate to be my boyfriend. I mean, I was kissing him and I didn't get any flashbacks even when I was overthinking and remembering. Nothing and it was so relieving. And I asked him. And he said he had to go for a walk. Lissie: Oh darling. It'll be okay. He loves you. Fox: Does he now? sigh I just love him so much. I love him more than you approve of. I love him so much I don't know what to do. But in not what he needs. He wants physical love and even so, he cant handle commitment. And I know that you don't want us together so you'll get your wish but I need him. Ive never been so relaxed and happy. Lissie: That's true. I've never seen you so happy as recently. I'm glad Nate could bring that to you but I don't approve, no. But if you're going to be together, I will support it. I will encourage happiness, that's a promise I can keep. I'm not disapproving to make it impossible for you to be together, in only disapproving so you have to prove to me that you two can make it. If you two make each other happy, I will be there for you no matter what. Fox: Thank you..... They spoke more but I didn't listen. After strictly avoiding Nate for three days, Fox finally has the courage to face up to him. As the group exit the cozy dining room, Fox weakly holds on to Nate's elbow. Obeying, Nate stares at the ground, clenching his jaw. "I'll start, I suppose." Fox forces out, false confidence strengthening the statement. "I-I'm really sorry that I asked you out. Of course, you wouldn't say yes. That's fine. Completely fine. And I'm really sorry that I made you uncomfortable with me. I really do like you though. Like love really. And even though you don't feel the same... I can't just be your friend. We can keep trying but it will just make us both miserable. We're just lucky the others are giving us time to figure it out instead of just getting rid of us for being dramatic." Fox rants,  getting out of breath and manic toward the end. "I have never heard you say so many words. Are you okay?" Nate smiles charmingly, concerned. "No." Fox answers honestly, a tremble in his voice. Suddenly, Fox is embraced by warm, strong arms. Wriggling further into Nate's warmth, Fox breathes in the boyish scent of Nate. All sharp and smooth. The arms tighten around Fox's shoulders. "I love you too. You know this. I'm sorry that I've been... Not great recently. I just thought we could both use some space. The village... It's the next thing to be built. But I-I don't just want it there for sex. I wouldn't do that to you. I just like the people they're interesting and good friends. You're the one I want. They're nothing compared to the beautiful complexities of you. I hope you'll accept my request to be your boyfriend." Nate excruciatingly slowly spills his soul, hands rubbing the back of Fox's neck how he likes it. Fox freezes, slowly pulling away after a few moments. "You... I'm sorry, what?" Fox whispers, teary eyed. "Please let me be your boyfriend. I'll beg on my knees, I swear. I'm so sorry. I've never been so lonely as I've been without you. Please come back to me." Nate practically sobs, hands reaching up to cover his face. "You actually want to be my boyfriend? What? No... That can't be right... Right? What?" Fox, ever the articulate bean, mutters, completely confused and shocked. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend. I won't have sex with anyone and I won't hug or touch anyone else I swear. I miss you so much. I hate everyone else so much. I need you." Nate falls to his knees, taking Fox's hand in his and pressed his lips to the soft skin as he rambles, tears falling down his face. "You absolute idiot. You moron. You complete fool." Fox sighs, rambling random tiny insults, before falling to his knees and taking Nate's face in his hands. "I'm so totally in love with you." Fox mumbles, pressing his forehead to Nate's. a couple weeks later: they sang a love song together. 😩 I literally cried. Nate on his guitar and Fox singing. Ive never seen him so relaxed and happy. Ahhh. I wanna cry I'm so excited. 😂😂😂 these boys will be the death of me. theyre both the biggest drama queens and they so gay.

im so sorry that was so long but their relationship created so much drama between us bc we didnt know if it would work out and theyre the most wholesome boys, except nate but well he has his moments. softest boiis uwu. 

Everyone in the system likes to sing and play games and read. Fox mainly likes to write and stuff but Evan is also knows for her nice stories on wattpad lmao. We arent very active, so we dont do much sport but we do like badminton and we used to do a running club. Evan likes baking, where it stressed me tf out. i cant even crack an egg right. only Evan draws really. Our main hobbies are minecraft, eating unhealthy foods and sleeping :) 

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 112 Thoughts

Congrats to Eren on giving all the good people contributing to his series’ Wild Mass Guessing page a shout-out. Good on you, man. You’ve got my vote on your cult not doing anything wrong or aggravatingly stupid ever.

Also, Zeke!

It’s rare we see such a prime example of a leader in a shounen manga knowing how to delegate. Props, my man!

I hope Annie kicks both your heads off!

This is an emotional chapter.

Before we begin, I have one thing I need to get off my chest.

Thank you for your time.

First thing first!

I love how Nicolo’s entire theory is, “something shady is up with the wine and idk Zeke and spinal fluid sounds right????” This entire chapter is one long tribute to everything the fandom has ever screamed about and it is fantastic in that one aspect.

Also, hey, hope for Falco. Zeke waits until all the bottles are empty before he screams, so I would guess that he at least prefers his victims to be properly dosed. Falco should be okay. The blunt force trauma might actually be the more concerning bit for the bright and shiny little one.

Another thing I love is how every single mention of Marley somehow makes Marley come across even worse.

Sorry, that’s not fair.

I love how every single mention of Marley reminds and confirms that they are the worse, and the reminders serve to dig that knowledge deeper into all our souls until we almost don’t mind when innocent civilians are wiped off the map if it means that structure no longer exists.

“Almost” being subject to innate character and morality.

Eren does not recognize the union of “almost” and adds the asterisk of “younglings” after “innocent civilians.”

Hell though, Nicolo. At least you found yourself, even if it did come after battering a child into unconsciousness. And you kept Connie and Jean from drinking the bad juice.

I really like the interaction between Nicolo and Sasha’s dad. Nicolo’s not the man he is. He loses himself in his anger and only chance stops him from crossing a very serious line.

But Mr. Blouse is the type of man Nicolo can see the merit in, and define himself by that gap because the end of that gap is something so much better than the man who come close to murdering children.

Some people are still learning to be better, even now, because of the good people they surround themselves by.

Gabi has been surrounded by nothing but warmth (barring Nicolo and Kaya’s trauma) since arriving to Paradis. Falco is a good guy. Mikasa and Armin are good people. The family of the soldier she killed are good people.

She isn’t charging at Mikasa and Armin (and geez every time these kids get a distance shot when the other characters are standing up it fucks me up; they are too tiny for any of this). She’s been passionately defending everything she and Marley has done, but now she’s quiet, and all she can do is ask for her friend, who keeps saving her life, to not be killed. All she can do is offer up her life to make up for the crimes that she can’t imagine being forgiven.

She is so young. Killing and violence and death are the obvious conclusions to her. She’s been taught that, and she excels at that, but now she keeps finding people who are willing to stand down and not kill her.

Reiner’s character is a slow stumble into his morality breaking his mind. Slowly, the idea that these people he’s surrounded by are people encroaches.

Gabi’s thrown into the deep end and the plot keeps shoving her head down when she struggles to the surface to breathe. None of this has been kind on her. The violent assault on her sanity is the kind she’s only ever been exposed to physically.

I haven’t put much thought into what I want from the Warriors, because thoughts of anything Marley adjacent always tend to irritate me. They’re trapped in a broken cycle that they’re perpetuating, and that makes them impossible to root for.

But I think Gabi needs her cousin.

She’s always wanted to be strong for him, and he’s only clinging to life because he wants to be strong for her and Falco.

Reiner knows what it’s like to learn that your simple world is infinitely more complicated than you can bear. This is his little cousin, and she’s gone through the crash course version of his nightmare. She doesn’t need the right answer that makes it all okay (there isn’t one), but a hug and someone understanding all of the twisting moral paradoxes shattering her insides would be such a helpful thing.

Heck, it would be good for Reiner, too. Seeing all of his pain in someone he doesn’t have the heart to blame. Maybe he could find some sort of path to peace in that.

Then everything just goes straight to hell.

Despite this chapter’s... this chapter...ness, Eren stepping straight into the backroom with his hand covered in blood? Hella fucking cool. Like. That is one thing I absolutely did not see coming, and it is a great way to bring him on back in.

I thought he wouldn’t get to talk to Armin or Mikasa until his plan exploded and they needed to bail him out. I never once expected him to just walk right in and take his buddies hostage for a nice, quiet conversation.

That said, yike.

Yike, yike, and dare I say it, yikes.

Grior reveals Our Heroes’ location, and that’s... really scary in itself, because Grior tells him that he’s grown too close with Eldians, yet Grior is helping the fanatical Eldians act in accordance with Zeke’s plans.

So it isn’t that Nicolo’s gotten too close with Eldians, it’s that he’s grown close to them without the purpose of exploiting them. Which, as every Marleyan soldier knows, is a bad thing.

And Floch doesn’t mind. He’s accepting the help of Grior without any comment.

Let’s do a brief headcount: Yelena, Zeke, and Eren run a cult of fanatic Eldians under the banner of a new Eldian Empire. Paradis’ military is theoretically running Paradis but really sentenced to the whims of said cult. At least one prisoner of war sides with helping out the cult. The Anti-Marley Volunteers (or at least Onyankopon) are in the dark.

Floch is, partially, willing to let Zeke’s plans play out however they may because they can work to destabilize the current Paradis government.

It’s fitting that this chapter is called, “Ignorance.” Willful and unwillful.

And as Eren says, nothing is further from freedom.

Now let’s get to the fun happy times of EMA.

See? Eren gets out of prison and the first thing on his mind is talking to his best friends! Such a touching, emotional sentiment!

...

Yeah, do you guys know where to begin? I don’t.

This is just.

Honestly, I keep moving back to yikes?

Eren is gathering people he has no emotional attachment to to his side, and aggressively pushing his friends away. He is doing everything he can to abandon them on the roadside and make sure they will have zero desire to come crawling back to him.

The question is if he’s doing this because he believes it’s best within his own head, he believes it’s the best response to being threatened into this, or if Eren’s just gone completely haywire in the membrane and his PTSD is finally attacking people besides himself emotionally.

This kind of deliberate cruelty has like. motive.

Mikasa tries to talk to Eren by reminding him of how kind he is. The warmth is what saves her in her mind, not the violence. She’s the one to bring up the kidnapping.

Eren counters.

Nothing like kindness saves her. It’s biology. Friendship doesn’t bind them, slavery does. Happenstance brings them together and keeps them there.

Mikasa argues. She says he’s wrong, and tells him it’s because of him that she’s strong, meaning him as a person.

Eren doesn’t address that. Despite being the one to ask how he’s wrong, when he’s given an attempt at an answer, he keeps monologuing rather than respond to Mikasa’s feelings for him. He brings up her headaches.

Mikasa is dead, and a slave, and he hates her.

“Do you know who I hate most in this world? Anyone who isn’t free.”

Ignorance is furthest from freedom. Even in this script Eren has adopted, no matter how much of it is the truth, if Eren’s seeking to relieve Mikasa of her ignorance, he’s seeking to bring the slave he hates so much freedom. From him.

Funny, she might protect Eren automatically, but she doesn’t have any problem with headaches when Armin punches Eren and makes him bleed.

Armin earns a less prolonged speech before all of it, and it’s...

For both of them, this is the worst thing they could hear from Eren. Armin, as a child, always feels useless next to his strong friends. His huge moment in Trost comes from realizing they never see him that way. It’s all in his head.

This isn’t in his head. This is Eren, telling him he’s useless.

Telling him that Bertolt, who’s only in his head because Eren fought tooth and nail to put him there, is interfering with his free will.

(Also even if everything Eren is saying is the bull it feels like, can has Frieda!Eren? Memory seepage. Canonize my brotp, manga. Do it.

(Double also, lol at Eren saying that memories are part of who you are, and Armin having Bertolt’s means bad things, but Eren having... lots has no effect, he is teh free as a bird. Kiddo, you are not a good bad guy.))

Eren calls himself free before he starts talking. He’s free from his ignorance in a way they are not, and he chooses to enlighten his friends.

Good grief. And more grief. Less than good grief?

Terrible grief?

ALL the grief.

Eren’s the one who wants a peaceful talk with his friends. All so he can beat the crap out of them physically and emotionally.

Eren.

What in the fuck. What reason could you possibly have to need Armin and Mikasa that far away from you? Why do they need to be pushed out of trying to see the good in you?

I’m sure there’s a reason, because story.

But wow.

Killing younglings was one thing. Lording the high ground and your blood brother over your real family?

Your heroic sacrifice where you finally die and everyone’s crying about how you did all this stupid stuff alone but truly for a good cause had better make me cry like a damn baby kid, or you are dead to me.

Additionally, heeeey. Guess what.

Guess what Eren’s learned about important things.

And throwing them away.

Can you guess.

Can you.

It’s the family he has that isn’t pro-murder.

That’s actually of serious interest to me, because one of the things I think the story has been moving towards is an actual examination of the belief that you need to sacrifice things to change things. While Armin states that in a philosophical, hey, this seems like how we win, way, the story has, more and more, focused on the love that keeps people from making certain sacrifices.

Eren’s thrown love, the only reason Armin’s alive to punch him, away.

For as dark as this story is, that’s never been the right choice. Letting people go is understood and respected. Disloyalty is scorned and rejected.

My theory for a while has been that the true answer to these sacrifices is that if you throw away the things you care about to change the world, that world will have changed into something abominable.

The world would be a different place if Sasha didn’t care about killing children.

Sasha being Sasha is why Nicolo tries to fight Zeke’s plans.

Eren’s world without Armin and Mikasa is not going to be a better one for him, and possibly not for anyone else, either.

Then we lead into...

Things that just make me really, really uncomfortable.

I don’t mind people like Levi suggesting that someone eats Zeke, then dies in a few months when Historia eats that person. I. That’s fine. That’s a fine plan, and it makes sense for where they’re at, and anyone who agreed to that would agree, no issue.

Historia’s plotline continues to make me... uncomfortable is really the word. Not the tragic, devastating uncomfortable that Eren’s stuff is. Just... the sickening kind. The fact that people have, off-screen, come to terms with perpetuating the same kind of bloody sacrifice of their children that plagues their entire society after we had an entire arc ending with Historia going hey, actually fuck that...

A thirteen-year-old being bred to eat its mother is a disgusting concept.

I know I’ve said it before, and I realize people are probably done with my feelings on the subject, but if that is really the story being told--even if it avoids that conclusion, the fact that a scheme like that is allowed to get so far without any comment to the contrary except by the Kylo Ren wannabe at the very start--

Why in the fuck should I care what happens to these people?

You raise a child to die for you, you don’t deserve to live.

What happens if they don’t consent in thirteen years? What if they don’t want to eat their mommy? Oh well, we’re going to force you, just like every other Eldian society from the dawn of time? Or guilt you into it because thousands of lives depend on you having none?

Fuck all of you. If that’s your plan, I don’t mind Zeke killing each and every last one of you. I will naturally prefer if he dies in the process, but it’s not the prerequisite you might think.

(Repeated statement that at this point, I will be doing my fandom activities until the series ends, but yeah. This is the place where I choose to opt out, emotionally, if it’s really going down like this.)

Um. In news that actually matters to people who aren’t me, heeeeey, Levi alone in the forest with 31 titans.

This is why the SnK kinkmeme was created.

It’s also really sad.

They killed the titans inside their home.

Zeke’s bringing them back.

Annie needs to kick so many people in the head I can’t even.