#i just realized it's a little confusing looking at the drawing but eli has two full arms -- the other one's just bent behind their back

[smile-files]

whee moral orel self-insert oc :) they end up madly in love with stephanie putty by the way

[scuddle-bubble101]

Lets go random again! Someone else for fun fact time?

(So the wheel seems to like Eli- This is twice now. So Eli fact times I guess X'D I got so, so distracted X'DD!)

Facts about Eli!

. Raised primarily by an academic branch he doesn't quite even remember, Eli doesn't recall even having parents or "people" in his life once. Considered pretty much a failure from the start, he never held on or expected much from older people. Matter of fact, he really wasn't raised much either, it's actually a mystery how he seems "fine" despite it. Some of his childhood consisted of quite the confusion too, he always received gifts and baked goods on his birthday.

. He's jumpy at best, naturally his main trait if we had to explain him with one. Constantly feels like he's being watched and can't reason with it. Worst bet is that he's probably right. To be straight to the point, he's never had "luck" on his side, always drawing some kind of bad with the good. "The glass is always going to be at least somewhat empty even if you try to fill it full."

. Unfortunately, he sticks out like a sore thumb, looking damn near like someone poured spots for a cheetah and cheese sauce on his ears. Doesn't help either that he's gifted in fire magic, he can't for the life of him explain how he got it, he just "does." His temper can flare too, it'll make his fire and items rather red and can leave his eye-sight rather fuzzy. (he hates with this happens)

. Being trained by Pj (Exclusive's son) by all things. Jams of course, didn't want any chance to teach him but realizing the kid really lacked a social figure, he kind a caved. (Don't tell him we said that) Naturally, this made him protective over Eli, making sure to shield him and keep him out of trouble if he can help it. Eli's never really had a positive adult figure in his life so all he can comment on it, is that it is a bit weird to have a guy just... Make sure you've eaten enough today. Stars, He's even met his boss's wife. What he's being trained for is really important though!! Classic knew it was best to leave him with Jams-jams. (And honestly, he's right.)

. He's a little accident prone. NOT thankfully, like a certain cheeto-haired boy :]! Ok, at least he doesn't have two left feet like A CERTAIN BIRD EITHER. He doesn't claim they are friends but Crash will find any excuse to purposely dive bomb him. (Poor Eli)

. Did you see something beside him? Looks like it becomes "visible sometimes"... No, you didn't see anything, trick of the light you see?

. His ears a pull-able, yes he will whine like a puppy if you do so.

. He has light up sketchers. They are opposite colors and if he's feeling silly, he'll tap them together to get them to glow. (A lad can have his little fun times ok?)

. He does not actually like peanut butter. We'll say it might be a texture issue.

[rere-the-writer]

Title- Mikaelsons and a baby : part 4

Warnings- Fluff, A bit of Angst, Overly protective Mikaelsons, Violence

Summary- You and Rebekah are forced to go home after having to leave for the safety of you and baby Hope.

You followed after Rebekah shivering as you held your daughter close after the cabin you both were staying in was attacked and Rebekah told you there was no choice but to take you and Hope back to New Orleans. It was cold in New Orleans as you had no time to pack nor get dress as you were in dressed in pajamas and slippers.

"Beka, what if the boys be angry?"

"They'll understand, my love."

"Y/N? Rebekah?" Elijah questioned seeing you and Rebekah on the street as he was walking with Hayley. Elijah frowned seeing you shivering and took off his coat wrapping you and Hope in it.

"Mother found us." Rebekah answered Elijah as you squeaked when Elijah picked you up bridal style.

"How? We made sure that you three wouldn't be found."

"I know but she sent something after us." Rebekah said smoothing out your hair as Hayley noticed how the two seemed to try to hide you and Hope. You had arrived at the Abattoir and was placed in front of a fire as Kol cuddled up to you.

"So our mother knows of our child."

"It seems so Niklaus." Elijah says running his fingers over your cheek before moving though your hair. Hayley seemed annoyed that you were back as she was trying to get closer to Elijah.

"Can I sleep with Nik tonight? I'm kinda cold."

"Of course baby." Elijah says kissing your head as Klaus moved to take you upstairs. Hope was placed in a bassinet near the bed as Klaus smiled feeling you snuggled closer.

"I missed you,Nik."

"I missed you too beloved." Klaus said softly kissing your head when you jumped feeling Elijah slipped in behind you.

"Elijah?"

"Niklaus thought us both should warm you up." Elijah said rubbing your arms feeling both of your furnaces of lovers you smiled snuggling in their arms. Morning came as you woke on top of Elijah and saw Klaus rocking Hope gently talking to her.

"You are my most precious girl so is your mother. I vow to protect you both Always and Forever."

"What if I want to protect you?"

"That is adorable, love. But Elijah and I would die before you are harmed." Klaus says watching you slide off Elijah who woke with a groan rolling onto his side burying his face in your side. Klaus passed Hope to you so you could feed the baby girl.

"So why is your mother after us?"

"Trying to get us to allowing her to put us in witch's bodies. And thanks to Hayley, mother knows of you and Hope."

"What did she do?"

"Mother thought Hayley and I were dating and darling Hayley didn't correct her so I had too." Elijah muttered sitting up as Kol came in flopping next to you smiling at you.

"You are beautiful in the morning." Kol says as you flushed looking at Hope feeling Elijah rubbing your back while Klaus was drawing you a bath.

"I agree. Kol isn't motherhood just gorgeous on her?"

"It is Elijah." Kol said smirking see your flush getting worst and gently Elijah took Hope from you and Kol took you to the bath.

"Guys, I can d...."

"Shhhh love. Let us take care of you." Klaus says moving behind the tub washing your hair while Elijah was cooing at Hope.

"Good morning."

"Goodmorning Rebekah....Hayley." Elijah said as Rebekah looked between the two with narrowed eyes before heading into the bath to kiss you goodmorning. Hayley looked to Elijah seeing Hope smiling at him wrapping her small hand around his finger.

"So are you still angry with me?"

"Yes Hayley. You gave to realize I am faithful to Y/N." Elijah says smiling softly at Hope placing a kiss on her little hand. Hayley huffed crossing her arms annoyed that you had came home as she liked Elijah and was hoping that he could like her back.

"Look Hope, there is your mother." Elijah cooed holding up the baby as you flushed see the pure adoration on Elijah's face as Hope squealed happily seeing you.

"You guys act like I showed you heaven." You say gently taking Hope as Kol kissed your cheek.

"You gave us our greatest gift and been so brave. So you are our heaven." Your face burn brightly as Kol chuckled they could hear you heart beating fast. They got you and Hope some breakfast happy to have you home.

"Your crazy aunt wants our baby?" You asked rocking the rocking chair you were in feeding Hope with a bottle giving your breast have a break. After the fall of Esther, a new theat, your lover's aunt Dahlia was apparently coming for your child.

"A untapped Enchantress had Klaus's baby?"

"Eli?" You asked confused as the blonde with was unfamiliar while your lovers were a bit surprised.

"This is our older sister Freya. Our mother made a deal with Dahlia to have children and Freya had been taken."

"This untapped Enchantress stuff?"

"I sense the magic coming from you which if Dahlia can, she'll try and take Y/N also." Freya tells everyone as Klaus growled lowly as the idea of you and Hope being taken from them was something that he wasn't going to tolerate.

"And you brought this danger to our door."

"It wouldn't have mattered. Dahlia would know about Hope." Freya said as you frowned burping Hope. Rebekah stayed close along with Kol not liking this new development.

"So what do we do?"

"We kill her and I will help you."

You were in hiding with Hayley and she raised an eyebrow seeing you putting some kind of mixture of salt and sage down the doorways and windows.

"What are you doing?"

"My grandmother would make this mixture of salt and sage to keep witches out and I thought she was crazy but learning all now my childhood makes sense." You tell Hayley getting up getting Hope.

"Hello my dear, I am here for what is mine." You froze hearing Dahlia and turned holding Hope as Hayley glared at the witch.

"Dahlia."

"I take it Freya has told you about me. Seeing how the magic from both child and mother is quite strong." Dahlia said moving forward stopping feeling a burning sensation and stepped back.

"An Enchantress barrier. Tapping in to unused magic."

"You can't have my little Hope."

"Why worry for child when you have a second babe growing within you." Dahlia's words made you freeze as you didn't know as Hayley stared then looked at Dahlia ready to fight the witch.

"Why don't you try to get in and see how well you stand against a hybrid."

"Sweet of you to allow such....beastly woman that holds such affections for Elijah near you or your family."

"I'll return for what is mine."

You were neverous as Klaus plan was to use Esther to stop Dahlia and you had never let Hope out of your sight since your run in with Dahlia. Rebekah sat next to you letting Hope play with her hand.

"Are you sure this will work?"

"Of course Elijah. Besides it is to protect our love and Hope."

"What about the second baby?" Hayley asked making all four Mikaelsons freeze as you swallowed when Hayley realized you hadn't told them yet.

"Y/N hadn't told you what Dahlia told her." Hayley breathed as the vampires tune into you listening for a small second heartbeat.

"How?"

"Let's worry about that after we kill our aunt." Klaus said kissing your head the Hope's as he passed to met Marcel to protect you. Elijah smiled kissing your hand as Rebekah kissed your cheek.

"We'll come back safe and sound, baby." Elijah says as Kol kissed your forehead as they left. You sat waiting hoping that they were alright and saw them walk in a bit rough looking but in one piece.

"Oh you're alright." You said hugging Kol and Rebekah as they hugged back smiling softly.

"I told you we'll come home safe and sound." Elijah said kissing your head making you smile.

"Let's get some rest." Klaus said getting everyone upstairs while passing Hope bassinet, you check up on her. Your lovers joined you in bed their hands falling on your abdomen falling asleep happy that you and Hope safe and now a new little one was on the way.

[l-r-christian]

Title: 'Tied to one' part four

Summary: The siblings had learned that a witch had rewrote their soul strings mean while Mikael had went after Freya and Y/N as Hayley's misdeeds are undone. Would the siblings forgive her? Or lose Elijah forever?

Warnings: Angst like a lot of it, Angry Mikaelsons. Loss of a unborn child, Violence, Y/N being a badass

A/N: I noted that I kinda made this part every long too. So it makes me wonder do guys like it when I do long parts when doing series? Let me know ☺

Elijah and Klaus kept Hayley close as they walked though the Ninth ward and they couldn't help but notice it was quite. Then they heard screaming and smelled burning of wood and they went to see what was happening with the witches as they hadn't done a trial in so long.

"They are doing a witch trial." Rebekah whispered as they watched witches dragging out another witch that crying and Hayley knew who the witch as she was the one that did the spell that rewrote the soul string.

"Please, don't do this! Please, I beg of the Ancestors! I don't want to die!" The witch shouted as they tied the sobbing witch to a stake. And Elijah held Hayley back from rushing forward to try and save the witch.

"Hayley, we not stop this. Davina is Regent and we agreed to not enter witches affairs."

"Regent, her rights?"

"Annilse for rewriting soul strings and going against the Ancestors. Your punishment is death as you have brought danger to all Nine covens. Your last words?" Davina asked holding up a torch of fire as the witch swallowed her sobs and decided if she was going down she was taking Hayley with her.

"Yes, my Regent. Hayley Marshall, Queen and Alpha of Crescent wolf pack had me do the spell for her own personal gain! The Original soulmate is a witch!" The witch cried out shocking the witches and they whispered among themselves as Elijah let Hayley go. A heartbreak settled over the siblings as Hayley looked at them teary eyed the sound of a burning witch echoed out and the thought of this witch dying because of Hayley hit the siblings with guilt at slowly crawled up their backs.

"She is lying."

"Hayley, we have lived long enough to know that one on their death bed has no reason to lie. Once we find our mother you will explain yourself." Elijah said rather coldly walking pass the female hybrid as the others glared at her following Elijah.

At the Abattoir Freya was helping Y/N with spell to find out what was wrong with her soul strings as both were getting along. Freya found the young witch adorable believe she was a good fit for Finn as they bonded over her possible niece or nephew that Y/N carried.

"It seems my soul string to Finn is pure but it is also saying the other four."

"Impossible, Hayley is their soulmate." Freya said frowning looking over Y/N's shoulder looking at the paper seeing the names of her siblings written our elegantly.

"I knew something was wrong but this magic is to much for me to reverse." Y/N said as Freya smiled taking her hand.

"Don't worry I'll fix it for you, dear Y/N."

"NIKLAUS! Come out a face, you mistake of a man!" Y/N and Freya heard Mikael yell as the witches looked at one another before headed out to the catwalk seeing the vampire standing there. Mikael looked up seeing the witches smirking at them which made Y/N shiver at his dark look.

"Ah my traitorous daughter and the tainted soulmate. Niklaus left you both unprotected."

"I am not a traitor for protecting my siblings from you father. I don't need Nik to protect us." Freya said glaring at her father as Y/N swallowed watching Freya use her magic against Mikael. It was a bloody fight with Freya drawing the most blood from Mikael as Y/N watched Freya fall feeling drained.

"Y/N run!" Freya shouted as the witch didn't need to be told twice and took off running with Mikael close behind. Y/N yelped feeling Mikael grab her by the neck and the witch stabbed his side fighting back as much as she could.

"So the abomination is having another child? How much would it kill him to lose you both?" Mikael said having pinned Y/N to the floor as her heart raced unable to speak as the vampire had his hand around her thoat. Panic and fear filled Y/N feeling Mikael's hand on her abdomen making her struggle to get free when pain shot though her as she let out a pain fill scream and Freya trying to make her way to them both.

"Shame to lose something so lovely."

"Shame....you'll....be enslaved.....monster." Y/N coughed up blood and before Mikael could kill her. The witch smashed a small bottle against the vampire's head and said a quick spell under her breath as Mikael fell over unconscious then rolled over whimpering curling into herself trying to stop the bleeding.

"I can't believe you!" Rebekah growled angrily as they entered the Abattoir unable to find Esther and Hayley was about to apologize again but Elijah stopped her seeing Freya up on the catwalk hurt. The scent of blood hit their noses as Elijah bit into his wrist to heal Freya.

"Y/N......father.....witch room." Freya rasped out before letting Elijah heal her while both Finn and Klaus rushed to the room seeing the two. Mikael was still unconscious as Y/N was curled in a ball crying and Finn went went to his soulmate while Klaus went to Mikael.

"Darling, shhhhh I'm here here now."

"I'm sorry.....I tried." Y/N whimpered burying her face in Finn's neck as both him and Klaus couldn't hear the second heartbeat and realized what she meant.

"Get her clean up brother. I'll take care of this."

A moments later with everyone cleaned up and Freya explained what happened and what she heard. Y/N had her abdomen wrapped with bandage and dressed in one of Finn's shirts as she walked into the den and the rest of Mikaelson was taken back seeing her with a fire in her gorgeous eyes when she walked in.

Mikael stood growling angry at the witch that got of him and surprised to see his second oldest following behind her then moved to attacked the witch to try to use her to get out before anyone could stop him.

"Kneel!" Y/N commanded glaring at the vampire as right away Mikael fell onto one knee shocking the others. Y/N stood in front of Mikael with fiery eyes as to the siblings it was the look of a Queen and to Klaus this was the woman he could see hisself waging a war for.....his true Queen.

"What have you done, witch?"

"My grandmother's old command spell. It only works on vampires and as long as I have this mark," Y/N raised her hand showing what looked like a tattoo of a chain attached to a moon as the same mark was on Mikael's hand, "you cannot hurt me and follow every order I give."

"My my spoken like a true Queen there, love." Klaus says smirking walking behind her placing his hands on her shoulders leaning close to her ear looking at Mikael with a glint in his blue eyes. Klaus was enjoying this a little too much as the others stood by watching.

"Now what does the Queen wish to do?"

"Tell him the truth about the baby." Y/N's words made Klaus smirk darkly looking at Mikael before letting Finn help her sit down and now Mikael was confused as Finn fuzzed over the small witch.

"Well dear father, the baby belonged to Finn here. As it appears that real soulmates are able to have children with vampires." Klaus said still smirking as Mikael look at an angry Finn with a apologetic look on his face as Elijah stepped behind their father snapping his neck letting the body fall.

"He'll come in handy to find mother. Now Hayley what poor dear Annilse said before her death." Klaus said looking at the female hybrid as Freya and Y/N looked confused.

"What is going on?"

"Hayley here had a witch rewrite our soul strings because she wanted Elijah." Kol said as the witches looked at Hayley who looked away ashamed and Y/N stood up teary eyed.

"You took everything from me just so you could have something that wasn't yours?"

"I loved Elijah away before you did! I deserved him no......" Hayley was cut off by Y/N slapping her shocking everyone. Hot tears fell freely down Y/N's face as she glared at Hayley who was holding her cheek. The soul strings that connected the witch to the siblings sparked with color was stronger this time but died out.

"I lost my baby! Finn lost a chance to be a father all because of you! You took everything away from them all because you weren't happy! And I hope you fucking burn." Y/N said leaving the den with Finn following after to comfort her.

"You got an innocent witch killed and my brother lost his child because you loved Elijah? How dare you, Hayley." Freya said walking out to check on Y/N leaving the female hybrid with the other four Mikaelsons. Elijah couldn't look at Hayley as his heart ached and blamed hisself for it all even though it really wasn't his fault and Rebekah covered her mouth as her own tears wetting her cheeks as Kol sat next to her comforting her.

"I'm sorry, if I know this would hap...."

"You wouldn't have done it? If you truly loved Elijah, you would have let him happy like he had done when you married Jackson." Klaus said watching Elijah leave then followed after because he knew guilt was eating away at his brother. Both Rebekah and Kol left also leaving Hayley alone as Mikael wike having heard everything.

"I may be a monster but I wouldn't have never hurt any of my children the way you have hurt Elijah."

Elijah stood in the doorway seeing Y/N laying in bed and swallowing his fear the Original walked inside and sat on the edge of the bed his back to her. Elijah was unable to look at her as his guilt ate away at him. The vampire jumped feeling the witch grab his hand and looked seeing that she laced their fingers together.

"Please don't blame yourself."

"I'm sorry.... I can't help it. I keep wondering if I had just kept my distance from her....to wait for you. Maybe you wouldn't be hurting." Elijah said voice cracking from unshed tears as Y/N rolled onto her back shifting to hold Elijah feeling tears hit her shoulder making her heart break hearing Elijah cry silently into her neck.

"Shhh Eli, I don't blame you." Y/N whispered rubbing his back seeing Finn standing in the doorway and watched him walk in. Finn placed a hand on his brother's back as he sat on the bed while Finn was taken back to when they were children how Elijah looked up to his big brother being comforted by the older Mikaelson when Mikael got to rough with the boy. Both Y/N and Finn calmed Elijah easing his blame away while Freya sat with Davina to undo the spell Hayley had done.

"I can't believe Hayley would do such a thing." Rebekah said huddled in Kol's arms as he was comforting his baby sister still angry that Hayley would do such a thing more so the price of the spell cost an innocent witch's life and Finn's unborn child all because the woman loved Elijah.

"The guilt Elijah will be carrying will crush him." Kol said softly feeling the bed dip with Klaus's weight as their older brother lay a comforting arm over the both.

"Both Finn and Y/N are easing his guilt away."

Morning sunlight shined into the bedroom waking Elijah feeling a body on him making him freeze then relaxed catching Y/N's scent as realized that Hayley wasn't in the bed. Y/N woke yawned and Finn woke also leaning over kissing the witch's head then ruffled Elijah's hair making the noble vampire smile at the familiarly.

"Morning boys." Y/N muttered sitting up with Elijah's help and she frowned feeling the knots in her hair realizing she hadn't wrapped her hair.

"Shower darling, Elijah will help you with your hair." Finn says helping her out of help bed as the sound of everyone moving around reached them. Elijah felt a twinge of familiarly as he did Y/N's hiar helping her put it up into two buns then Elijah helped her get dressed seeing her flinching due to her wound.

"Elijah." Hayley croaked out as the vampire paused seeing the hybrid in Y/N's doorway, Hayley looked a bit like a mess her eyes red and puffy from crying. Elijah looked away from Hayley, his heart squeezing in pain but felt Y/N rub his hand with her thumb.

"I'm going to see Freya and Davina." Y/N said softly leaving the room glaring at Hayley as she passed the hybrid. Hayley moved towards Elijah only for the Original to step back from her and pain flashed in Hayley's eyes looking up at Elijah.

"Elijah....I'm sorry....I didn't....."

"You didn't think this would happen? Hayley, you know more than anyone that all magic comes with a price " Elijah tells Hayley looking at her and Hayley saw the heart break on Elijah's face.

"I....just didn't think this was the price....Elijah, I just wanted you back."

"I'm sorry Hayley....I can't." Elijah says walking pass her not even looking at the woman as fresh tears fell down her face.

"So how do we undo the spell? Also why didn't affect Finn's soul string with Y/N?" Kol asked as everyone was in the room while the three witches stood by a bowl.

"Finn was dead when you met her so the spell couldn't undo their soul string as for undoing the spell. We need your blood then Y/N here to say the spell to unwritten it." Davina explained as everyone did as told then watched the ash gray strings burst with color. The siblings looked at Y/N as everything came back to them.

Rebekah was the first to move hugging Y/N who hugged back as Kol came up behind her hugging them both. Kol buried his face in her neck taking in the witch's scent. Once everyone settled down, they focus on looking for Esther. Mikael had his arms crossed watching his children working out what to do more so how Klaus wanted to make sure that the girls wouldn't get hurt.

"Can I help?" Hayley asked getting the sibling's attention before Klaus allowed her to join as Elijah was cold to her while talking about how to stop Esther. Hayley watched from outside of the gate as the siblings made sure that Y/N and Freya was going to be safe.

"I will be with them. I'll watch over them." Mikael said as the siblings looked at him then left with Hayley. In the den Y/N was writing out a spell in her grimoire as Mikael stood by as Freya stopped watching him.

"I wanted to apologize even though there is no way to undo what I have don. But I was told by Esther that you were the bast....Niklaus's soulmate but I am slowly learning that my anger is driving my children away." Mikael tells Y/N as she looked up at the older vampire seeing he was sincere.

"Thank you, Mikael." Y/N said softly as the vampire sat next to her and Freya smiled walking in with tea and the three enjoyed the quiet. There was a crash and Y/N didn't have to use her command seal as Mikael was quick to protect the witches. It was undead hybrids that Klaus had killed back in Mystic Falls as Y/N and Freya set up spells to help Mikael. When the siblings came home to see Mikael dragging dead bodies as Y/N and Freya was burning the bodies.

"What happen?!"

"Our mother sent your dead hybrids to kill us well more like father."

"You survived Mikael." Esther said glaring at her husband as Mikael glared back as the siblings saw how their father hid Y/N behind him.

"And you almost killed my children's soulmate."

"Since when did you care for the little wench?" Esther said glaring at Y/N believing the little witch stole Finn from her. Mikael growled ready to kill the Original witch when she suddenly fell and Klaus stood smirking.

"Enough of that. Shall we get mother's coffin Elijah?"

"We shall Niklaus." Elijah said smirking seeing the dagger in Esther's back. After placing Esther in a coffin and Freya placed many spells on it so it could never open they placed the coffin behind a brick wall and sealed it up.

"Shall we have a ball? I believe we deserve to celebrate." Klaus said smirking as his siblings chuckled agreeing with him before setting in the den feeling oddly comfortable around Mikael as they planned a ball.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Do you think that Hawk going violet will happen in a big emotional time? Like he's feeling like he's still a Cobra and gets confused and wants to leave Miyagi-fang (?) but something happens and he realizes that he's not a Cobra.

YESSSS this would be great!!!

Like I’m imagining Hawk feeling pretty conflicted because it’s been several weeks and STILL no one in the dojo really seems to like or trust him aside from Demetri and Miguel. Like even Mitch and Bert are wary of him, having seen firsthand how far under Kreese’s influence he ended up falling--and perhaps they’re a little jealous too, since he got to stay in Cobra Kai while they were both booted out. Johnny is glad to have Hawk back in his class, but he still can’t help but be a little angry with him for choosing Kreese over him initially--he knows HE’S the one who toughened Hawk up, not Kreese, and he can’t help but remember how readily Hawk dismissed him at first.

Maybe word gets out about Hawk trashing the Miyagi-Do dojo the previous summer--perhaps Miguel confides in Sam about it, and Sam, in a moment of hotheaded weakness, storms out into the dojo courtyard and confronts Hawk. I dunno if she would be mean enough to yell at him in front of everyone, but people almost certainly overhear regardless--and when it gets back to Daniel, ohhh boy. Hawk and Daniel were warming up to one another, and Daniel was even trying to help Hawk through some of his anger issues--but once he finds out that Hawk stole Mr. Miyagi’s medal of honor, all bets are off. (At least for now--Daniel has a way of coming around. But Hawk sure as hell doesn’t know that.)

After the whispers about what Hawk did the previous summer start spreading around the dojo, people avoid him even more. People look at him like he’s even more of a monster. Daniel doesn’t interact with him any more than is absolutely necessary. Hawk apologizes, of course--tries to channel as much emotion into it as he can so people know it’s genuine. But no one seems to believe him, and he can’t help but be confused about what else he’s supposed to do. Apologies for him have always been a one-and-done deal, and he’s not sure why everyone else isn’t accepting it like Demetri was. He doesn’t know what else to do to communicate he’s serious.

Demetri and Miguel both vouch for him, of course. Demetri especially--he’s used to getting across what Eli’s trying to communicate, attuned from years of practically being Eli’s voice. Demetri never wants to leave Hawk’s side, standing centimeters apart from him at karate practice and swinging a protective arm around him to squeeze his shoulder whenever people shoot Hawk suspicious looks. Despite his friends’ efforts, Hawk is miserable--he feels like he’s under the worst kind of microscope, and no matter what he does, no one is going to trust him.

He feels guilty about it, but he finds himself longing for his Cobra Kai days. How he was respected, feared, celebrated for his strength and his fighting skills and his ruthlessness. Now, it feels like everyone flinches at them--even Miguel and Demetri, on occasion. He just isn’t admired--just isn’t appreciated--like he used to be, no matter how much Demetri tries to reassure him. “I know they’ll trust you eventually. It’ll just take time!”

Hawk isn’t sure they’re ever going to trust him.

Sometimes he wonders if he should go back to Cobra Kai, regain the fame and the prowess and the fear of everyone who dared to cross him. He’d take Miguel and Demetri, of course--he can’t bear to be pitted against either of them ever again. But a bit of intensive training on the side for both of them, and he’s sure they could make it in Kreese’s Cobra Kai. They’re both incredibly skilled fighters, and the thought of the three of them becoming the three most intimidating fighters in the Valley is oddly cathartic to Hawk. The three most pathetic losers in the school, risen to great heights to be terrifying warriors who people were scared to so much as breathe wrong around. Demetri will come, Hawk is sure--Demetri would follow him anywhere, as long as he gets Hawk’s word that Hawk will never turn on him again. And Miguel...well, it might take some convincing to get him to leave the LaRusso girl, but if Demetri comes, Miguel will surely want to be with his two best friends more than his annoying girlfriend.

Hawk is walking home one day from karate training (a training that Demetri never showed up to--a bit odd, but Hawk figures he must have just called out because he had a lot of AP homework), thinking about how best to try and loop Miguel and Demetri into extra training, when his phone rings. He picks up, and it’s Miguel--panicked, hyperventilating, voice cracking like he’s been crying, rushing words out through raspy breaths. He’s hard to understand, talking fast with his voice choked with sobs, but Hawk makes out something about “Demetri” and “an ambush near the park.”

Hawk is at the location in minutes, sprinting there at top speed despite running never being his forte (Demetri was always the faster one between them). Demetri is lying motionless on the cement, passed out with his flannel slowly soaking through with blood. Hawk runs to him in a hysteria, screaming and crying and begging for him to be okay.

While Miguel calls an ambulance, Hawk is frantically looking over Demetri, trying to figure out where all that blood is coming from. No amount of punches and kicks could draw out that amount of blood. Then he lifts up Demetri’s shirt, and lets out a strangled whimper.

The Cobras are fighting with knives now, apparently. And someone--probably Kyler--carved “COBRA KAI NEVER DIES” across Demetri’s back.

And Hawk can’t stop crying because he knows this is his fault. There’s only one reason the Cobras would target Demetri--he was the reason for their latest deserter, and they knew that.

Or maybe he had simply been someone from a rival dojo in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe the Cobras were just those kinds of people.

Because it was never strength and power that Kreese cared about--it was war. Using dojo rivalries as an excuse to get away with hurting people because he enjoyed it. Because them being on the “opposite side” made it seem justified, somewhere in his twisted mind.

The doctors have to practically drag Eli out of Demetri’s hospital room. Luckily they’re able to at least reassure Eli that Demetri is going to be okay--it’s the only way to get him to leave. There are more knife wounds that he didn’t see at first, but they didn’t hit anything vital--thank god. Demetri’s lost a fair bit of blood, but he’ll be all right.

The text scrawled across his back most likely won’t scar, if Demetri cares for the wound properly. And that’s enough for Eli--he knows how meticulous Demetri is. He’ll get through it.

Still, the red stains on Demetri’s shirt and the dark cuts slicing through his skin are seared in Eli’s mind as he drives home. When he gets in the shower that night, he thinks of the words carved into Demetri’s back and his lips curl up in a snarl. He grabs a bottle of bleach, emptying the entire contents onto his limp scarlet hair.

Hawk bleaches and bleaches until the shower is a mess and the entire bathroom smells of cleaning products and every trace of the distinctive Cobra Kai red is completely annihilated. Cobra Kai never dies? Bullshit--they’re dead to him.

His eyes trail to a bottle of hair dye on the top shelf of the shower rack, and he grins. He’s been toying with the idea for a while now, but now...he’s never been more certain in his life. With the red gone, and Cobra Kai truly behind him...it’s time.

When Demetri wakes up in the hospital the next day. The first thing he sees is a jagged purple shape clouding his vision--hair, he realizes. “Who are you?” he mumbles.

“Come on, Deme, how many people do you know with a goddamn mohawk?” a familiar voice says.

His eyes focus to find Eli smirking at him, hair up in deep violet spikes. His hand feels warm, and he looks down to see Eli’s holding it.

Demetri hopes his blush isn’t too visible.

“Holy shit, dude.” Demetri can’t help but grin. “You look great. Why the change?”

“After seeing what they did to you, I couldn’t...do a Cobra Kai color anymore.” Eli bites his lip. “And it just reminded me of all the awful stuff I did there, too. But uh...you know how Sensei LaRusso is always talking about balance?” Demetri just nods.

“I guess I thought I needed something like that. Like I want to be cool and intimidating and kick ass, like Sensei Lawrence and Miguel. But I also want to be all...I dunno...rational and wise and moral and shit, like you and Sensei LaRusso. And Eagle Fang’s got the red thing, and Miyagi-Do’s got the blue thing, so I was like...maybe I should mix them? For balance?”

“Ohhhhh!” And here comes Demetri’s shit-eating grin. Hawk isn’t sure why he expected any different. “You think I’m ‘rational and wise and moral and shit,’ Eli? I thought you thought I was a ‘lame nerd!’”

Eli just rolls his eyes. “God, shut up. You can be both.”

“Also, are you going to stop holding my hand?”

“No.”

Demetri just snickers and leans back, enjoying the sensation of Eli’s fingers between his.

“I was thinking about leaving, you know,” Eli admits quietly, after a beat.

Demetri sits up, staring at him in shock. “What?”

“I didn’t feel like I belonged,” he explained. “I didn’t feel like anyone wanted me there, after everything I’d done. No one but you believed me when I said sorry. I thought maybe I’d be happy if I went back to Cobra Kai, took you and Miguel with me so I wouldn’t have to fight you and we could all become strong together without...without everyone looking at me like I was evil. But now? I never want anything to do with those assholes ever again. Not after they hurt you like that.”

Demetri looks at Eli so softly that Eli thinks he might melt. Then Demetri breaks out in another huge smirk. “Awww, you were going to try and bring me back to your evil karate cult with you? How thoughtful of you!”

“Oh my god, shut up. Yes, I think you would’ve been good enough to survive in there. Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Also, are you still holding my hand?”

“Maybe I am. Mind your business.”

When Demetri takes said hand and uses it to yank Eli forward and kiss him full on the mouth, Eli isn’t about to complain. 

When they pull apart, Demetri is a spluttering mess, quickly apologizing and insisting he wasn’t thinking. Eli just laughs, and pulls him forward by the neck so their foreheads are pressed together. “God, I’ve wanted that for so long, Demetri. Don’t you dare apologize for it.”

A short pause. “I know it’s been hard for you,” Demetri adds quietly. “At the dojo. But you have to believe me when I say they’ll come around. I know you’re a good person, Miguel knows, and everyone else will realize it too. It’s just going to take some time. But you’ll figure out how to make it up to them. I believe in you.”

“Okay.” Hawk closes his eyes and exhales slowly, letting himself relax. “As long as I’m with you, it’ll be fine.”

[whumpingcrow]

Pt. 7 "Hospital Bed"

CW: injury description, drug/alcohol mention (explicit), food mention, noncon/dubcon (explicit), aftermath of character death, strangling, character death, hospital setting, blood mention, bondage, emotional whump, gaslighting, August in general, tourettes/ticcing (let me know if I missed anything!)

"I don't know how you stayed sane," Tyson said, hands tight around his coffee mug as if letting go would make him fall apart. The drink inside had long turned cold and probably didn't taste good anymore, but Tyson couldn't will himself to lift the cup for long enough to drink. "I mean, it's only been a week and I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Leo sighed at the heaviness to Tyson's voice, nodding his head. "I didn't stay sane. It broke me down every single day that he was gone. It's still breaking me, but at least he's here." He paused, realizing that might not be very encouraging. "But it'll be ok. We'll find him, we'll have him home and safe in no time."

"I really hope you're right." He checked his phone nervously, disappointed but not surprised to see no updates, no one had called him. It was tiring, to keep checking and double checking and never having any good news.

He couldn't stop thinking of the picture he'd been spent at the beginning of the week, the one of Elias with his eyes closed, blood streaming down his face. He was pale and tired looking, and Tyson couldn't help but wonder if he was dead in the picture. His perfect Elias, who was confident and unapologetically himself, who was so amused by everything, who could simply sit with Tyson for hours on end to talk and watch him draw and listen to his music. He couldn't imagine how August must be breaking all of that if he was still alive. He remembered how different Allen was when he finally came back, how he was just a shell for the longest time, and even now he wasn't completely right again. Elias was so young and vulnerable, he wouldn't come out of it the same, there was no chance.

"Am I bad person because I sort of hope he's dead?" He whispered. The words were bitter in his mouth, he hated himself for saying them out loud. "I just...I don't want him to experience all this pain. It's gonna fuck him up for life, just like Allen. What if neither of them get better?"

"Don't say that, Tyson. He's gonna make it out of this and they will heal." He patted Tyson's shoulder to comfort him, frowning at how tense he was. He stood up, working his hands into his shoulders to try and get him to relax.

"What are you doing?" He grumbled.

"I just remember how much I wished someone would comfort me. I'm trying to comfort you." He smiled a little as Tyson relaxed against him a fraction. "There you go. It's all gonna be ok, Ty."

-----------------------

Elias found some sick type of adoration for his life now. The speed of it all, the way everything was blurred together by music and colors and sex and violence. August had introduced him to so much: he gave him different drugs that each felt like spiritual awakenings in their own respects, put him through levels of pain that he didn't think were possible to feel, intoxicated, hazy sex that was so good it felt otherworldly. He tried not to think about the fear or the punishment anymore, tried to convince himself that it was just his nature now, his way of life. As long as he was fucked up, he felt perfect. As long as he was high, he wasn't thinking of the blown up face of that man.

"Elias," August was calling in a sing sing voice, "Eli, are you in there?"

Elias looked up at him, grinning at the look on his face. He had forgotten that he had a bowl of watermelon sitting in front of him until August pushed it toward him.

"You doing ok? You begged for this fruit and you haven't even touched it." He rubbed his back as he spoke, his palm was warm as it dragged up and down Elias's spine. His lungs tightened ever so slightly when he brushed over the bruise taking up a third of his back, the one he got when August had tossed him angrily against the shelf when he tried to leave.

Elias laughed, nodding his head. "I forgot," he giggled. He picked up a piece, looking at the juice dripping down the tips of his fingers. He was suddenly enthralled, the red was such a beautiful shade and the sunshine made it glimmer. He remembered watching August cutting up the fruit inside, watched his hand guide the knife easily through the melon, the red juice staining his hands. He realized that usually he was the fruit, and he momentarily understood the appeal of hurting him August had. He heard August laughing again, and he smiled up at him.

"You're too cute," August kissed him, holding him close. "My little angel."

Elias dropped the watermelon and crawled on top of August in his sun chair, pressing himself close. He looked into his eyes, laughing at huge his pupils were. His were probably the same. "You make me feel whole," he whispered, "like I'm all put together." He didn't really believe himself when he said it, he knew it was just because he was high and August was there and paying attention to him, and he knew August liked it when he said things like that.

August smirked, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Yeah, you didn't need Tyson after all, did you?"

"Fuck Tyson," Elias ticced, laughing after. "No, I didn't. Just you." Just you, all the drugs you keep giving me, and a week straight of you beating the shit out of me. But just you.

August nodded, pulling Elias towards him with his fingers wrapped loosely around his neck, kissing him again. He smiled as Elias pressed his hips against him, already knowing where the kiss was probably going, eager to get it started already. August had broken him, finally, and made him dependent on physical touch to assure himself he was doing ok. Even when it was painful, he was always offering himself up because being used painfully was far better than being punished.

"Aren't you eager?" He teased, running his palm down his chest. "God I just wanna lay you down in front of me and make you scream."

"Oh, please, August."

That was another thing he'd taught him, the begging, even when it was for pain. Anything to be touched, looked at, praised, he would beg for anything that August insinuated he wanted, just to please him, just to make everything easier.

He hadn't lied when he said he wanted to make Elias scream, but it wasn't in the way he had expected. It turns out that being tied to the bed and having a tiny razor slice long, stinging slices into his skin was not as enjoyable as August had made it seem. But he was writhing and shrieking in pain the entire time, which prompted August to coo: "you sound so beautiful, my bunny," and kiss around the blood to turn the cries into soft whines.

"P...please, August," he gasped, tipping his head back in exhaustion. "It hurts so bad, it's tiring me out." He convulsed as August cut into him again, this time slowly down the side of his ribs, drawing out a slow, building scream of agony, muffled slightly as he bit down hard.

"Oh come on baby, don't try to quiet yourself. Really tell me how much it hurts." He sliced into the other side of his ribs, grinning at the loud, breathless cry that Elias let out. "There you go, perfect."

Elias collapsed again, his lungs quaking as he tried to breath through the pain. "Ha...god, please stop. Please, I'm feeling sick." August smiled, kissing the insides of Elias's thighs until his breathing was less ragged and he hummed in relief. "Thank you, oh thank you."

August pulled off of him, reaching for his phone next to him. "You are just angelic." He started to film him, smiling as he squinted at the flash. "So beautiful my love." Elias offered an exasperated smile, closing his eyes. He flinched as August started to drag the razor from his collar bone and down his sternum, and then began to scream again. He grabbed at the two belts that were securing him to the bed and writhed underneath August. He could feel his blood streaming down his torso, and when he got up the courage to glance up at the carnage, he felt weak and light headed. The screaming turned into panicked sobs, and he jerked harder, with more need, causing the razor to press deeper into him.

"August ple-ease!" He sobbed, trying to hide his face against the pillow. "Please it hurts! No more!"

"Alright, alright," he sighed, setting down his phone and the razor. The phone was still recording, but August doubted that Elias realized, in his state. He crawled on top of Elias, pressing his own bare torso against Elias's bloody one, making him whimper at the stinging it caused.

"Ow...August that...ow..."

August grinned, kissing his neck softly. "I just want to be close to you, sweetheart." He spoke against his skin, then hummed as he pushed into Elias.

"Oh god," Elias sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. He was scared all over again, because of the blood and the way August spoke when he was on top of him. "F-fuck..."

"Ah, that's my good boy," August moaned, tugging at his hair. "So pretty for me."

"Please, not so ha-hard," he begged, pulling at the restraints, "please baby, please."

August grinned, doing completely the opposite and adoring the way his exasperated whimpers turned to pained, confused moans, especially when he closed his teeth around his throat.

---------------------

"Oh god," Tyson cried, staring at the gruesome video playing on his phone in horror. "What the fuck! He's hurting him!" Leo ripped his phone away from him, instructing for Allen to get him out.

Leo couldn't help but keep the video playing, watching with a deep concern etched into his face. It was like watching a car accident unfold, or a funeral procession; he wanted to look away because what he was looking at was dreadful, but he almost felt like he had to watch it all unfold. It was horrendous, the amount of blood on them both, the way Elias pulled desperately at the belts wrapped tightly around his wrists, the way he screamed in pure, white hot, pain. He was so broken, so far gone. Allen was broken like this, just not so soon. Not after a week.

-----------------------------

When August was done, he untied Elias, pulling him into his arms. They were both covered in his blood, and Elias was shaking as he pressed his hand against August's chest, frowning when it came away red. "Jesus," he whimpered, "that's a lot of blood."

"You're ok," August assured him, kissing his tears away, "just a bunch of little scratches. We'll get you cleaned up as soon as you calm down, ok?"

Elias took a deep breath, trying to sooth himself. He was starting to get used to this, trying to relax after everything happened. He collapsed against August's chest, closing his eyes and counting to ten in his head. He was ok, he had survived, it was just a bit of pain.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I feel so much better."

"Yeah? That's a good boy." He looked at him, grinning at his exhausted, darkened eyes. "So beautiful."

Elias smiled back at him, leaning closer to him. "You're so perfect to me," he kissed his shoulder, but his voice was shaking as he spoke. He was still scared, despite how desperately he wanted to pretend to not be. "Can we...can we go get a drink?" He whispered.

August nodded, helping him up to his feet. Elias staggered a little, he was used to it at this point, the not being able to walk part of the pain. This time it was spiced up with the added dizziness of blood loss, and he clutched onto August's arm to steady himself.

---------------------------------

The days began to blur together, and Elias seemed to be on the brink of death. He was pale and covered in injuries, dangerously thin because of all the drugs making him lose his appetite. He couldn't feel it, of course, unless he was sobering up, so he just never sobered up. He wasn't afraid of dying anymore, all the drugs he'd done made him feel at peace with his fate. Besides, he was so tired out, so exhausted from August that death seemed welcoming. He started using more, started egging August on during his punishments, hoping that one day August would go overboard and it would all finally be over. If he wasn't going to be saved, he was going to escape another way.

Now, August was observing Elias cut his coke into huge, thick lines, sighing a little. He'd been doing this too often, pushing himself to do more than both of them knew he could endure. He'd been drinking until he was on the bathroom floor, vomiting what little he had inside of him, he'd do line after line until he broke down in a panic, everything August offered him he'd take and then triple it, and every time it ended in a mess.

"That's too much, sweetheart. Pace yourself." His voice was warning, stern in a way that wasn't immediately threatening.

Elias laughed at him halfheartedly, giving a dismissive shake of his head. "You're too much," he teased, looking up at him with a cocky smile, "I can handle it," and he did the line. And then he did another, and then he collapsed into August's chest with a fit of laughter and sighs.

"I told you not to speak to me like that," August grumbled, at which Elias sat up and turned to look at him. There was a small glint of fear in his eyes when August's voice hardened. It only lasted a second, though, before he bit his lip to stop the amused smile that was spreading across his face. "You'd do well to check yourself."

Elias laughed, running a hand through Augusts hair, like he couldn't be bothered to take him seriously. August glared openly at him, waiting for him to apologize, to stop holding eye contact with him as if they were equals.

"You'd do well to fuck yourself." He retorted. His voice was airy and light, he really wasn't scared anymore. August would fix that, he could make him scared.

With one quick movement, he grabbed Elias's hair and slammed his face down on the table, pulling him upright to see the blood already spreading across his face from his nose. After the initial shock, Elias ignored the tears streaming down his cheeks and forced out a watery laugh. "Ouch," he chuckled weakly, "that hurts a little, you should be careful."

August pulled him to his feet, which he was surprised to find no resistance, and threw him hard to the floor, watching as he hit the corner of the wall. "Shut the fuck up, Eli. Before I make you shut the fuck up."

Elias groaned on the floor, trying to push himself upright. He only got as far as his knees before he had to lean against the wall for support. It took him a few seconds to catch his breath, having it knocked out of him when he hit the wall. "Why are you so grumpy?" He coughed out. "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

August grabbed him and picked him up, choking him hard as he held him against the wall. "You think you're so cute, huh? Well you're not, you're fucking stupid. You're a fucking freak. That's why Tyson didn't want you, cause who would want an idiot like you?"

Elias pulled at his arms desperately, then reminded himself that this was what he wanted, to push him far enough to kill him. He dropped his hands down to his sides, trying to will himself to not struggle. The world would swallow him up soon and he would give himself up to the black. He could finally rest, he would be free. The longer August strangled him, the more disoriented he became, his thoughts stopped making sense, they were confusing and panicked, and he could see black splotches across his vision. He saw August's angry face, he felt relieved he wouldn't ever see it again, although he did hate that it would be the last thing he did see. Ever. So instead, he directed his vision to the widow behind him, where he could see the pool and the sun, and relaxed a little again. The sun would be setting soon, the day would end and so would Elias. As his vision was quickly sinking to darkness, he felt a blanket of warmth and comfort wrap around him.

-------------------------------

"Elias, there you are!" Elias's eyes flew open, and Tyson was there in front of him. He was wearing all black, his tie red. He looked so beautiful, so happy to see Elias. "I've been waiting for you!"

Elias smiled brightly at him, a weight lifted off his soul that he was unaware he was carrying. He wasn't tired anymore, he felt completely new. When he looked down, he was saw he was standing in green grass, his shoes and pants white. "I'm...I'm dead, right?" He asked.

Tyson smiled sadly at him, nodding solemnly. Elias thought maybe he would be scared when he was sure he was really dead, but all he felt was a peaceful indifference. So that was it, he got what he wanted, he was away from August. He didn't understand why Tyson was here, but it was nice to see a familiar face.

"I know you did this on purpose, but it's not time for you yet."

"What? No, I want this. I'm so tired, Ty."

"I know you are. But it's not over for you. You're gonna be ok."

Elias began to cry, utter defeat and exhaustion dragging his body down, and he was sobbing so hard his chest hurt. Each cry was a jolt to his lungs, and then a sharp sting in his entire chest, and then he was staring at the ceiling in a bright white room. He gasped in a deep breath, then a few more. He heard the faint sound of people talking around him, but it was all muddled by a ringing in his ears.

He looked around to see a swarm of people in blue and red moving around him, holding cold things to him, shining lights in his eyes. "Where...what happened?" He rasped out. One of the people stabbed something into his arm, then leaned closer to him.

"You're in the hospital, we had to resuscitate you." One of the others announced something to the room, "stable", and the rest of them relaxed and slowly dispersed. "Can you tell me your name?"

"My name... it's Elias." He couldn't speak loudly, it only came out in hoarse whimpers. The shock of it wore off and his body was starting to hurt again, his neck was aching and his entire body was throbbing dully. He remembered all at once what happened, and he could hear the heart rate monitor he was apparently hooked up to start beeping rapidly at the anxiety the memory brought up.

"Ok, Elias. Do you know what day it is?"

Elias frowned at her, shaking his head. How long had he been with August? It could've been years, could have been days, hard to tell how much time was passing when he was always high.

"That's ok," she assured him. "You were listed as a missing person, did you know that?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah...yeah I was missing."

"Right. We went ahead and notified your emergency contact, the one that filed the missing report. Tyson. Do you know who that is?"

His jaw dropped in surprise, he gaped up at her. Tyson didn't file him as missing, he was the one who got rid of him in the first place. She had to be lying, Tyson didn't care about him. "Is he...Is he gonna come here?" He whispered.

"He should be here any minute. I'm going to be monitoring you, I'll be standing right outside. There's also a police officer right out here, you're safe now."

Elias's eyes welled up with tears, he was overwhelmed suddenly. He was safe, it was over now. And Tyson was coming. He couldn't believe, didn't even know if he wanted to see him, but it was Tyson and he was going to come see him. He curled up into a small ball on the bed, crying softly to himself as he waited.

[darknessisafriend]

Charlie Sisters x Reader

Here is for @forensic-aep​

Where the reader has been teamed up with the brothers to go kill Herman and during the journey Charlie and the reader develop feelings for each other but never admitting it. Then the reader gets mad and ignores him after he got drunk and slept with many girls at Mayfield’s brothel and after a while they make up and tell each other, FLUFF and SMUT

Your only chance for happiness

Eli stood outside on his horse; his little brother Charlie was inside the villa, talking with the commodore to report on their past mission and maybe get another one. How he wished he could go home, hug his mother, and his lady, he was tired of all this violence, but not his little brother, and what else could he do to help him other than be there for him?

Suddenly Eli was pushed out of his thoughts by Charlie knocking at the glass of the window, gesturing for him to come inside; was the governor so disappointed in their performance?  

“Eli, it’s good to see you, please sit.” Invited the governor, Eli looked at his brother who made a face, showing that he also didn’t have any idea of what all this about. The governor sat at his desk, leaning forward on his forearm.

“Listen, you are one of the best henchmen in the country but lately you’ve been…disappointing and I believe it is because your team lacks a leader. Charlie, you’re the smartest, I want you to become the leader…” declared the commodore, Charlie seemed pleasantly surprised, a grin forming on his face. As for Eli, he didn’t mind as long as he was still paid.

“But that’s not the only thing I wanted to tell you, your team needs a third member, someone to balance your…impulsions.”

“What? Governor we don’t need someone to babysit us” argued Charlie frowning.

“And how can we trust this person?” retorted Eli, he didn’t want to be shot in the back while he slept.

“Do not worry, you can trust this person, she is an excellent but lonely bounty hunter who could use a team too…”

“Did you just say ‘she’?” exclaimed Charlie confused, at this moment the governor gestured to his men to introduce the third member of the team.  

You; you had heard the whole conversation, you weren’t happy to be teamed-up but the job paid well, and they’ll end up with a bullet in the skull if they started to pissed you off. So, you entered, the both of them turning to look at you, the big one seemed to only realize that you were a woman, he had a shocked expression on his face, was it because you wore a pants and boots like a man? whereas the younger one, had his mouth agape and seemed insulted, then he chuckled.

“Is this a joke? A woman!” he jested laughing. You came to stand next to the governor, ignoring his childish reaction.

“She is a very competent man hunter.” added your employer.

“Well, I don’t know about man hunting but she could certainly be useful for other activities…” suggested the younger man with a smirk, looking at you from head to toes.

“Charlie!” reprimanded his brother.  

“If you want to become a eunuch that can be arranged” you replied with a sly smile, Charlie chuckled.

“I’d like to see that.” he defied, now you were itching to take out your gun to teach him a lesson.

“Charlie, I won’t change my mind, and you will accept it or she takes lead of the mission and your salary as well.” threatened the governor, his patience starting to wear off, this seemed to make the man react and he swallowed back his pride, clenching his jaw.

“Alright but don’t expect any favors woman, you’ll live just like us.” he warned you.

“Don’t worry, I can handle myself.” you replied annoyed, you were perfectly able to live this way, you had been for the past two years.  

The commodore finally released you and your team quickly afterwards. The tension was present especially between you and the younger man.

“What’s your name miss? I’m Eli” said the older one as he introduced himself, handing his hand for you to shake, his brother sucked his teeth in disapproval.

“Pleasure to meet you, you can call me Y/N” you replied with a polite smile as you shook his hand, his grip was gentle, seems like he was true gentleman. Charlie was watching the two of you interact, annoyed by how his brother was to you.  

“So, what did the commodore said? And what about the horses?” asked Eli, Charlie sighed as he climbed on his horse.

“Come on, let’s get a drink” he prompted tiredly, did they want to talk privately or should you join? “well don’t just stand there” added Charlie over his shoulder, to this you quickly jumped on your horse and followed them to the Saloon.

“So, you know about the leadership problem…” started Charlie has he rolled a cigarette.

“What does it mean for the money?” asked his brother.

“It means more for me”

“No, for me I mean, is it like before?” clarified Eli, you blinked a few times, perhaps he was a nice guy but not very clever.

“Of course not, less necessarily.” replied Charlie on a casual tone, Eli sighed annoyed.

“If the Commodore wants to pay a leader it’s his own problem, it’s not a good thing to swipe on the small staff.”

“Don’t wanna know what we have to do?” asked the younger one as he changed the topic of the conversation.

“No.”

“What? You sulking?” he lighted his cigarette, while Eli took a sip of his drink, you did the same, patiently waiting for the conversation to come to the real important matters. At this moment, a guy entered the Saloon, you turned your head, he better stays out, Charlie looked like the kind of guy to draw his gun at the slightest annoyance.  

“Hey move! We’re not finished.” warned Eli, the barman gestured to the man to stay out, Eli was truly pissed off about his salary apparently; it wasn’t necessary to mention you were paid as much as Charlie.

“I’m still telling you; we have to find Morris in the south road.”  

“The John Morris of the Commodore?” Charlie hummed in confirmation.

“Why do we have to find Morris?” asked Eli dumbfounded; Charlie exhaled.

“He’s tracking a prospector, some Herman Kermit Warm” you intervened.

“Perfect, he finds him, shoots him, end of the story”

“Morris is a detective, ain’t a killer” pointed out Charlie with an annoyed tone.

“The job is Morris finds the guy, keeps him close to him, he tells us, we arrive, we finish the job, that’s the job” well summarized you thought, clearly Charlie was a man of action, going straight to the point, at least it’s something you had in common with him.

“And what about the horses?” asked again Eli fully shifting in his sit to face his brother.

“But damn what’s your problem with horses?!” badgered Charlie, losing his patience.

“The commodore said he’ll give us new horses Charlie” argued his brother.

“That’s not what he did?”

“No. You, he gave you a new horse, for me he freed some space in his stable and gave me an old horse” Charlie soundly sighed annoyed by the insistence of his brother.

“Don’t you think we could talk about this later?”

“No, it’s for this job, now, that I need a horse, not for later” insisted Eli.  

“Your horse is great, stop acting like a child.” the tone of Charlie was without appeal.

“It’s the word share that bothers you right?” now you clearly understand what the problem was, as brothers they couldn’t stop annoying each for small things, no wonder their last mission failed.

“What about you? You know how to shoot?” asked you Charlie his tone clearly showing he didn’t like your presence in the team.

“Of course, you’re far from being my first job you know, last time I took down the Wilsons” you disclosed as you took another sip of your drink.

“What? you’re the one who got the Wilsons? All six of them? By yourself?” exclaimed Eli in disbelief, a smirk formed on your lips, you were quite proud of this mission.

“Sure, didn’t you hear the commodore? I’m one of the best around here.” you added; throwing a challenging look at Charlie, he raised an eyebrow in return, pleasantly surprised.

“Interesting…I guess you’re gonna be useful after all.” he commented, getting up to get out, Eli followed him finishing his drink.  

“It’s the boss who pays, with his boss salary.” you told the barman, making Eli laugh and Charlie give you a provocative smile, you realized the bastard was pretty good looking with his perfect smirk and his icy green orbs. You followed them outside.

“So, when do we leave?” you asked impatient.

“We’ll meet here, tomorrow at dawn, don’t be late sweetheart.” Charlie said over his shoulders, and now he gave you a nickname, you huffed amused, you knew that sooner or later you’ll have to teach him a lesson if he takes too many liberties with you.

In the morning you were actually the first one up, you had trouble sleeping anyway, you always did on the eve of a mission, turning over and over in your bed as you thought about your target, and this night was added the thought about your two partners, Eli didn’t seem a threat, but you didn’t know if you could sleep with both eyes closed with Charlie, he looked clever and didn’t like you, maybe he was capable of killing you in your sleep just to get rid of you…

“Good morning.” you saluted the two brothers as you saw them approach on their horses. Eli answered you while Charlie simply tipped his hat at you.

“Alright, let’s go.” declared Charlie as he gave a sharp heel kick to the horse and galloped, you and Eli did the same. You rode the whole day until night, your bottom and your legs were starting to ache after a full day on a horse, you even ate lunch on it, you could tell Charlie was eager to get to his target, why? Money? Something else? You didn’t know, you will probably learn to know him and his brother during your travel. Most of the day they had stayed silent, focused on their horses and on the way to go.

You finally found a place to camp that night, tying the horse to trees, Eli started to make a fire while you and Charlie took off the horse’s saddles. You were throwing quick glances at Charlie, observing his behavior.

“How come a woman like you, a beautiful woman I must had, ended up bounty hunter?” he asked you genuinely curious. You were slightly taken aback at his question; you didn’t expect him to be interested in knowing you.

“Well, I always had a taste for adventure, let’s put it this way, didn’t see myself stay in town my whole life, getting married to some drunkard, have his kids and that’s it. No, not for me, I like my freedom.” you explained sincerely, you were proud of your choice of life, and you had proved to countless people that a woman didn’t need extra care or privacy, and that she wasn’t more fragile or sensitive than any other man.

“I see…as long as you do a good job, I don’t care that you’re a woman.” he replied on a casual tone.

“Good…what about you Charlie?” you returned the question.

“I’m just good at killing.” he answered coldly, his tone indicating he didn’t want to talk about that, he brought his saddle around the fire to use it as a pillow. You were intrigued, he seemed to have a lot of anger in him or something like that, he was constantly on the defensive. You joined them by the fire, the food was already warm, Eli gave you your plate with a friendly smile.  

“Thanks.”  

“Y/N if you don’t mind me asking, are you truly lonely in your life? I mean don’t you have a fiancé or someone waiting for you at home?” asked you Eli politely.

“No, who would want an improper, kinda tomboy woman as their wife.” you answered on a humorous tone, wearing a smile on your lips to mask how you really felt, you actually wished you had someone who would love you for who you were.

“What about your family then?” you sighed; he meant no harm but that was a complicated subject for you to talk about.

“I… huh…prefer not to talk about it Eli. Sorry.” Charlie’s eyes met yours briefly as he heard your answer, like he was suddenly intrigued or as if he understood how you felt.

“Oh Eli, now you’ve upset the lady!” accused Charlie on a teasing tone.

“I didn’t…”

“Don’t call me ‘lady’” you told Charlie, annoyed.

“What do you want me to call you? Oh, I know! You didn’t mind ‘sweetheart’ yesterday” he teased you with a mischievous smile; your mouth opened in a ‘o’ shape, you were outraged, god he was infatuating, you were so close to punch him in… his beautiful face.

“I’m sor-….” started the older brother, interrupting your trail of thoughts.  

“No, don’t apologize Eli, I’m perfectly fine, okay?” and now Charlie was laughing his ass off at the scene, you looked at him in disbelief, before a laugh started to build in your chest, until you couldn’t resist and let it out, you realized you could relax a bit, it was harmless teasing. Your eyes wandered on the face of Charlie who was still laughing, the warm light of the fire was highlighting his tanned skin, his dark hair were smoothed back neatly, he had some kind of elegance, the one you liked at least. When the laughs died down, the conversation went back to seriousness. Charlie was laying down on his back, legs crossed, looking at the fire

“So, what did he do this Herman Warm?” asked Eli while finishing to eat his plate.

“He stole something from the commodore” you answered.

“Don’t you find this weird, all these people stupid enough to steal from such a dangerous man? How can they rob him in the first place? We know the commodore is a prudent man”  

“Prudence has nothing to do with it, he’s man doing business all over the country, even overseas, he can’t be everywhere at the same time, it’s logical that he gets persecuted” explained Charlie, you arched an eyebrow, ‘persecuted’ was a bit of a strong word for that.

“Persecuted?” repeated Eli

“Yeah…persecuted.”

“The commodore persecuted…” Eli was thinking, it didn’t seem right to use this word.

“How do you call that huh? When a man is forced to protect his fortune with people like us, how do you call that?” retorted Charlie as he sat back.

“Not persecuted” replied Eli

“Wait, you’re not going to start catching me with every word now, what’s the matter? You’re vexed? You’re vexed because I’m the one leading the operations huh? If it’s that just tell me but stop niggling” Charlie was starting to lose patience, he was so quick to anger.  

“I’m not niggling, you’re just using a strange word and I’m tellin’ you” answered Eli on a calm tone, unphased.

“Oh, c’mon boys, are you really gonna fight over a word!?” you grumbled exasperated. Charlie groaned in return and went to lie down on his side, like a pouting child. You shook your head; they could be truly insufferable sometimes, you lied down too, putting your covers up to your chin, hiding a knife under your saddle that used as a pillow; your eyes traveled to Eli, he had a piece of red clothing in his hands, it looked like a scarf, he brought it to his face, inhaling its scent, you smiled soften, probably a gift from the woman he loved; then he lied down putting his hand on his gun which was shining under the light of the fire; was he always doing that? Or was it because of your presence? Nonetheless, the both of you were armed in case someone decided to go crazy…but quickly exhaustion took over and you fell asleep.

The next day you rode again, although the atmosphere was a lot more relaxed, the three of you were talking, making the road seem less long.

“Tell me, isn’t it Emilia Partridge?” asked Charlie with interest, his brother looked at him clueless.

“What are you talking about?” he asked

“Isn’t it the teacher who gave this ridiculous scarf? The one you spend your time folding and unfolding secretly every night.” you rolled your eyes at this; did he really have to bother him like that?

“It’s called a stole… can’t we have some privacy for 5 minutes?”

“Leave him alone Charlie; Eli I think it’s very romantic of her…” you commented, trying to avoid another argument.

“Thank you Y/N”

“Oh, come it’s just a little teasing sweetheart… do you have a plan with her?” asked Charlie, this time he was serious, no joke was intended.

“A plan?”

“Start a family, have children, marry her, something like that.” Charlie clarified.

“Don’t know, why are you so interested in it now?”

“I was just wondering about family…do you remember how dad was with mom?” well you didn’t expect to hear a private conversation like this, you looked in the opposite direction, pretending not to hear anything.  

“Yeah Charlie, I remember”

“It makes you think… aren’t you afraid to reproduce yourself? you aware that our father was crazy and that his rotten blood runs in our veins” you frowned, it was a very dark thing to say.

“Our father was drinking Charlie.”

“Touché. It’s the gift he left us, this rotten blood, that’s why we’re good at what we do.” he finished, going ahead, to be alone for a bit, it seemed he had been very affected by his father’s behavior.

“Is he alright?” you couldn’t help but ask to his brother who sighed in return.

“It’s complicated but since…he has never been the same.” briefly explained Eli, he didn’t want to say too much and you understood, just like your relationship with your family, none of you were ready to share the full story; when you’ll know each other better perhaps.

In the afternoon you finally reached the next town, it was small but it had everything necessary, with your companions you headed to the post office in the shop.

“Sisters. S.I.S.T.E.R.S like sisters” spelled Charlie, the man seemed to recognize them, suddenly aware to whom he was talking to.

“No, nothing, I would remember.”

“Alright, no news is good news. What’s the next hamlet on the road?” asked Charlie

“Myrtle Creek…”

“How far is it?” you asked, then.

“Two days, at least” you sighed there was still a long way to go, you didn’t like riding for days like that.

“Alright then, we’ll stay here for the night.” declared Charlie.

The three of you decided to do a little bit of shopping in this shop, you went to look for a bottle of Cologne, your current bottle was almost empty. You were never wearing makeup, except for special occasions, however, perfume is something you loved. Nearby was Eli, he was looking through the shelves for something interesting to buy, until it stopped in front of  a tooth brush, he looked at the object curiously, he probably didn’t know what it was, it was relatively a new body care item, which reminded you that you should buy another box of powder before it gets empty.

“What is it?” he wondered out loud.

“A tooth brush, with it, your mouth smells good and you have less risk to lose your teeth, I use it all the time! You use this powder too; you should buy one…” you explained to him with a smile.

“Hey, do you have boots?” you heard Charlie ask to the seller, you turned your head to see him wearing a white shirt, seemed like he really like elegant clothes, you quickly turned your head back as he caught you staring at him.

“And for your brother as well.” you advised Eli, before heading to the clothes too, this summer was really hot, you needed new shirts and underwear too. You picked a dark red shirt and two black, should be enough for the whole travel, then you went to the lady’s part for underwear, you took a couple of short panties, easier to wear when riding a horse and even more as you constantly wore pants. Then, your eyes traveled to the bras, here you could enjoy a bit of fantasy, there was even some French lingerie available, they were really good at making pretty things for women; now which one to pick? You wondered.  

“You should take this one.” you jumped at the voice of Charlie; he had approached you silently, he had a small smile and his eyes were mischievous.

“What are you doing here? I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” you retorted annoyed; he chuckled and left without a word, you looked at him leaving, he was so clingy! You looked back at the lingerie, your eyes landing on the one he had suggested, you felt blush coming to your cheeks.

Afterwards, you went to get a room by yourself, the town was small there was no risk of losing the two brothers. You sighed happily as let yourself fall on the mattress, there was nothing like the soft comfort and warmth of a real bed. Your mind traveled to Charlie, he was such a mysterious guy and what happened with his father for him to have such negative view of life as a couple? You took a short nap and after eating at the hotel, you weren´t tired, you felt like staying out for a bit, so you decided to go for a drink at the saloon even if at this time night you might encounter more drunk people than anyone else, worst case scenarios it will end up in a fist fight and you didn’t want to brag but you were good at it. As you entered the saloon, you noticed Charlie drinking at the bar with some men, you headed to an empty table to have your drink peacefully.

“Thanks” you said to the waitress as she gave you a glass of whiskey, you settled your feet on another chair, took a book out of your vest, it was one you had brought from home, Moby Dick, you knew it by heart after reading it over and over and still you always enjoyed it as much.

“Hey…” you raised your eyes from the page you were reading, Charlie had just sat at your table, the way he leaned on his arms indicated he was already very drunk.

“You should go to bed Charlie.” you advised him, going back to your reading.

“Nah I’m not tired…”  

“Hmmm” you hummed doubtfully, if he wasn’t hangover tomorrow either he had a very good tolerance to alcohol or he was lucky.

“Y/N” you ignored him trying to focus on your book “Y/N I want to tell you something…” you sighed, closing your book in frustration, it seems he won’t let you alone tonight.

“What Charlie?” you asked irritatingly.  

“Don’t be angry at me…I don’t like it…” he muttered on a pleading tone like a child. You couldn’t help but release a smile, he was really cute like that.  

“I wanted to tell you…you are a very beautiful lady and…”

“Good evening miss, can I buy you a drink?” interrupted a man as he came accompanied by some of his friend, they were all looking at you with lust in their eyes, shit, this wasn’t going to end well…

“Thanks, but I’m not interested.”  you replied annoyed by those constant interruptions.

“Then, maybe you want to get to the most interesting part?” flirted another guy, you rolled your eyes.

“Wait, what did you say asshole?” growled Charlie on a deadly tone, lifting his head to look at the guys in the eyes, he had fire in his, rage even.

“Charlie stay out of this; I don’t need your h-….”  

“Don’t you dare lay your hands on her!” he exploded, suddenly getting up, the tension quickly rising up between the men.

“Come one man…” tried to calm one of the guys, until Charlie drew out his gun and loudly putting it on the table, everyone started to run out in fear, Charlie Sisters was known to be a very good shooter; trying not to stumble, he followed them outside and once outside he started to shoot “Where are you going!?” he yelled.

“Godamnit….” you grumbled; did he really have to that?!  

“C’mon nobody wants to fight Charlie Sisters?! You won’t have her unless you get me first!” you had heard enough, you got out of your chair angrily, you arrived behind him, “nobody really?” he turned as if he was going to shoot until he recognized you.

“Oh, it’s you…I…” you didn’t let him finish and slapped him in the face, he had drunk so much alcohol that he fell heavily on the floor.

“Don’t you dare do that again! I can handle myself; I don’t need your protection and I certainly do not belong to you Charlie Sisters!” you fumed, crouching down next to him. He had lifted his hand on the cheek you had slapped, he wore an expression of hurt on his face. Which had for effect to instantly dissipate your fury.  

“Come on let’s get you back to your room” you sighed, feeling pity for him, you helped him back up, putting his arm over your shoulder while you put yours around his waist. The worst part was probably climbing the stairs, he always fell down, his full weight making you fall too. You finally managed to arrive at his and Eli’s bedroom, as you opened the door you realized that Eli was awake, probably due to the gunshots. You lied down Charlie on the mattress.

“I’m sorry…Y/N forgive me…” he started to apologize, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“It’s okay Charlie, sleep now.” you replied on a soft tone to sooth him, he tried to catch your hand but missed it as his head was spinning.  

“Stay with me…” he asked you, you did your best to hide your surprise.

“Goodnight Charlie, goodnight Eli” you saluted them both before heading to your room. You were not as tired as you expected to be but there was nothing else to do here, an empty saloon without music and people chatting was uninteresting to you. And Charlie’s behavior had you thinking, the way he had flirted with you, how possessive he got a few minutes ago, was it only because you were a woman? was there any risk he tried something while you slept? Or was it his usual way of acting around women? And he was so inclined to anger and violence, what happened to him? This question was more present in your mind each day. You sighed as you finished washing your body, the trip to get to Morris was going to be interesting.  

The next morning

“Can he hold the saddle?” you asked Eli as you watched Charlie struggling to get on his horse.

“Yes. I. Can.” grumbled Charlie as he finally managed to get on his horse. You sighed; you had several hours of lateness due to Charlie’s state, if it kept going like this, you were going to have several days of lateness. Today, the ride was silent, Charlie was half asleep while Eli seemed truly fed up by his brother attitude, you speed a bit your horse to arrive next to Eli.

“Hey, is he always drinking this much?” you asked with a hint of worry, Eli sighed.

“Yeah…Charlie has a drinking problem…” he admitted, looking down at his hands.

“Is it because of your father?”

“In a sense I guess; he started drinking after…what happened. To forget or…I don’t know…”

“I understand.” you answered, you knew the family could wound deeply.

“You do?”

“Opium for a bit. I… was addicted to it because of my bad situation with my family; until I realized it wouldn’t make my life any better.” you confessed, embarrassment surging back.

“I’m sorry to hear that Y/N…Charlie doesn’t understand it, he doesn’t fight it, he just let it happen as if he didn’t care about dying” explained Eli in a low voice with a hint of sadness ‘probably because there’s nothing worth of interest in his life, not even his brother’ you thought sadly. You were pushed out of your thoughts by the sound of something falling, both you and Eli turned your head to realize Charlie had fell of his horse.  

“Oh Charlie…” you stopped your horse and got off to help the man back up, Eli followed you.

“Shit, make an effort.” grumbled Eli annoyed.

“Wait…” started Charlie before bending down to throw up, you turned your face away, feeling a bit of anger at his state, he shouldn’t drink this much, he was going to kill himself or it could also lead to failure of the job.

“Come on man, hold on to us” you instructed him as got back up, Eli went to support his other side, then his brother pushed him on the saddle.

“Don’t judge me please sweetheart, there are days where we are stronger than others…” Charlie muttered as he leaned forward on his horse, you took his foot and placed it in the stirrup while Eli did the same on the other and went back to his horse. You stayed a bit longer and placed your hand on his thigh as an encouragement, you couldn’t help but feel bad for him. To this, he turned a bit his head to meet your eyes, he was exhausted, emotionally, you hoped he saw that you understood how he could feel.  

Two days after, you had arrived in Myrtle Creek, you simply rested a few hours there, just the time to wash yourselves and Charlie didn’t need to get drunk again. You and Charlie grew accustomed to each other, he wasn’t on the defensive anymore with you. You had 4 days lateness behind them now, and if you were going fast enough, you could get to this Herman in Jacksonville. The locals indicated you a shorter path through the mountains, making you gain 2 days, the way was hard, and the weather wasn’t helping, there was mist and it was humid. So, you were glad when you settled in for the night, a nice fire could only help, but first you had to change your shirt, it was damp and you needed to put a warmer one for the night in those mountains. So, you got up, staying close to the fire so you wouldn’t get too cold and took off your shirt.

“Oh, sorry! I’m going to give you some privacy.” Eli exclaimed as he turned his back to you, you chuckled amused at how prudish he was.

“No worries Eli, it’s just underwear nothing shocking.” you commented with a grin.

“Perhaps not to you but for a man like me…”

“Shshhhhhh let her Eli!” scolded Charlie throwing a cloth at his brother, he wasn’t going to complain, on the contrary, he was looking at you, shamelessly detailing your curves, it was a very pleasant sight for him apparently.

“Oh, you bought the one I recommended you in the end.” he grinned; you looked down at your bra, ‘shit’ you had forgotten about that.

“Yes, I did, you have good taste” you played as if you didn’t care about his comment, however you could hide the blush coming to your cheeks.  

“Indeed…suits you veryyy well…” he purred, his eyes caressing the curves of your body, he could feel heat coming to the lower part of his body; you actually felt flattered he was so interested in you, although it might just be carnal, at least that’s what you told yourself. You put your new shirt on and gave him an annoyed look. His eyes didn’t leave you for the rest of the evening, you simply ignored him, as long as he wasn’t touching you, you were fine with it.

That night you were the last one to go to sleep, you were on guard, it was the mountains there could be a bear or puma around. Suddenly you heard the sounds of crying, you frowned, who was crying? Eli who was trying to sleep, straighten up and looked at you, which meant Charlie crying, you gave him a confused look with a hint of worry, so he got up went to his little brother to comfort him, it seems he was crying while sleeping.  

“Charlie, Charlie…” he said softly, caressing his brother’s forehead.

“Booo!” exclaimed Charlie, you rolled your eyes, it was a prank.

“You idiot…” cursed Eli.

“I thought you were gonna kiss me!” joked Charlie between laughers then he made kissing noises and you lost it, that was a funny one.  

“Fuck you, the both of you.” grumbled Eli as he got back under covers.

“Good one Charlie.” you complimented as you laughed.

“Thank you, my lady!” replied Charlie on exaggeratedly courteous tone. Eli finished by joining your giggles. This moment made you fall asleep with a smile on your face, you were truly starting to appreciate your partners.

“Eli, wake up” you called the man as you packed your belongings.

“I don’t feel so good…” he murmured, you quickly came to his side and saw that his face was swollen.

“Charlie…” you called as worry grew in your chest.

“What? Oh shit, you should see your face, what happened?” asked Charlie trying to hide his worry.

“He probably got stung by something, a spider maybe” you deduced.

“It’s all swollen, your neck too…you look like, you know those big mutts, the Mastiffs.” he joked, chuckling a bit, you pinched your lips together trying not to laugh.

“Fuck off I’m sick.” your fun instantly stopped; it was a serious matter.

“Here sit up” instructed Charlie as he gave his brother his flask of water, Eli was shaking like a leaf.

“Can you ride your horse?” asked the younger one as he got up to continue preparing the horses.

“It’s freezing…” muttered Eli shaking, laying down once again to warm up under the covers. Worry grew even more in your chest, either it was going to pass or it was going to get worse. You went to talk to Charlie about it.

“Hey, Charlie.”

“What?”

“I’m not sure this is a good idea, he should rest…” you tried but he cut you off.

“We can’t afford that, we’re already late.” you sighed frustrated you wanted to tell him that if he didn’t get drunk, you wouldn’t be so late, but you knew this would only make him pissed and on the defensive, that would only hurt the already fragile team cohesion. You were pushed out of your thoughts by Charlie’s hand on your arm, it was the first time he touched you, you didn’t know why but it made you feel strange, it wasn’t unpleasant, it just sent tingles all over your body.

“Hey, don’t worry for him sweetheart, he’s strong.” he reassured you before heading to his brother and help him up.  

To make things worse, the weather got terrible, it was raining heavily the whole day and there was thunder too, the terrain was getting dangerous and slippery, and the horses were very nervous, you often looked behind you at Eli, he could barely ride his horse, from times to times you called him to make sure he was still responding. After several hours, the horses were getting tired of climbing the mountain in such conditions, you suggested Charlie to stop for the night, and thankfully he agreed. Under the rain you helped him build a shelter with a tarp while Eli was leaning against a tree, struggling not to fall. Then his brother came to help him lie down under the shelter, putting covers on him.  

You were sitting down not far away, looking around, watching over the camp. Charlie came to sit down next you.  

“I’m tired Charlie…” you heard Eli.

“I know.” his brother answered, this time his tone was gentle, caring.

“Very tired…”

“You can sleep, I’m here.” added Charlie softly; this seemed to instantly relax his brother who fell asleep within a few seconds, you were alone with Charlie now, not that you minded, you enjoyed his company, his goofiness when he was in the mood for it.

“If you need to rest, I can watch other the camp.” you offered to Charlie.

“It’s fine, I’m not tired for now.” he replied on the same tone. You didn’t speak for the following hour, busy with your own thoughts. However, after one more hour, you started to feel cold, the humidity was so high, you felt like you were soaked to the bones, it started with shivers and then you couldn’t hide your chattering teeth and sniffles. Charlie turned his head to look at you.

“Are you okay?” he asked you, a slight frown forming on his face.

“Just…fucking cold…” you confessed your voice trembling.

“Come here.” offered Charlie lifting his cover up and putting his arm around your shoulder

“What are you doing?” you demanded, suddenly feeling suspicious, he rolled his eyes at your reaction.

“Listen sweetheart, if you wanna freeze to death that’s your own problem, I’m just offering you to get warmer” he explained in an annoyed tone; to be honest you weren’t against a bit of warmth, so you scooted closer to him, your shoulder against his, he rearranged the cover you had around the both of you.

“Here that’s better.” he said out loud, and it felt nice, the warmth was gently starting to wrap around you, it was so agreeable that your eyelids started to feel heavy, your head falling forward, you were struggling to stay awake.

“You can sleep, I’ll watch over you.” offered Charlie, his voice was soft almost caring. You didn’t need to hear more and under the fatigue, without thinking, you laid your head on his collarbone, his arm around your shoulder could only encourage you to lean against him. As you fell asleep you didn’t notice him turning his head to look at you asleep against him, he could fully admire the delicate features of your face, gently he stroked your arm with his thumb. It felt very nice to hold you, he actually wished he could do it more, he liked your presence, it was soothing…

What was that noise? You wondered in the middle of the night, you groggily opened your eyes, it was still the night but the horses were agitated, feeling more awake you realized something was wrong, Charlie had fallen asleep too, his head resting against yours; then you heard grunts ‘shit a bear’ you realized. You had to wake up Charlie too, you could hear the animal getting closer, it probably wanted to eat the horses. As silently as possible you tried to wake him up. You lifted your head and your hand went to his cheek, gently tapping it.

“Charlie wake up, wake up!” you murmured a few inches from his face, his eyes finally shot open, you quickly put your hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t talk too loud, he looked at you expectantly, he was surprised to have his face so close to yours, you mouthed ‘bear’ to him and he instantly understood and nodded at you, you took off your hand from his face and reached for your gun, just like him. Silently you both got up and tried to distinguish in the dark where was the animal, until you heard one of the horses scream, it was attacking them, you both ran towards the horses and saw its shape, Charlie shot first, wounding the animal in the shoulder then the side, you briefly saw the giant teeth of the animal and shot, the animal fell down, lifeless, you had managed to aim for the head. You and Charlie were panting, the adrenaline pumping through your veins, you went to calm down the horse, the one of Eli was wounded at the face, the animal was probably going to lose the use of its left eye and maybe its life if the wound gets infected. Once you had cleaned the wound, you went back to where you had been sleeping, you realized that Eli didn’t even react, he was in a very deep sleep. However, you knew you will stay awake until daylight, just like Charlie.

The atmosphere got suddenly awkward as you met Charlie’s eyes, you were both aware you had slept snuggled against the other, and you wanted to go back in his warm embrace but it would be…weird. So, you got back to your place, leaving a few inches between you and Charlie, wrapping your own cover around you, he did the same, staying silent.

“You okay?” you still asked him without looking at him, ‘he could have been wounded by the animal’ you thought.

“Hm? Oh yeah…yeah, fine.” he replied awkwardly, and that was it, you stayed this way until the morning, you had convinced Charlie to wait a bit to wake up Eli, until he couldn’t wait more, and he was right, you had to leave. As you prepared breakfast, from the corner of your eyes, you saw Charlie take off his shirt, laying it down on a tree branch to make it dry a bit under the rays of the Sun, you redirected your attention to the meal, it was just a torso, why did it distract you?  

“It’s ready.” you announced out loud, serving the food in Charlie’s plate, he came to stand in front of you, of course he was still shirtless, you stared at him, detailing his torso, he was well built, especially his arms, and he had a little tummy, which honestly kinda made you fall for him.

“It’s just a torso, nothing shocking.” he teased you with a smirk, making you realize you had been staring, pronouncing the exact words you had used before; blush creeped on your cheeks as you gave him his plate, why where were you so distracted by anything he did or said suddenly?!  

“Thanks…for waking me up.” he spoke, you finally looked at him in the eyes, they were glowing with…affection? No, he was merely being thankful, fatigue was playing with your mind. Thankfully, Eli broke out the awkwardness by waking up, coughing blood, his face wasn’t swollen anymore, you were relieved he felt better.  

“Feeling better?” asked his brother, Eli he got up and noticed, the giant bear.

“What happened?” he asked dumbfounded.

“Well, this guy came into our camp during the night, your horse got wounded, it rushed on your horse.” Eli rushed to check on his horse.

“It’s Y/N who woke me up.” added Charlie as he ate his plate.

“I heard the horses getting scared, trying to break free.” you explained, feeling sorry for his horse.

“Shitty night…” muttered Charlie, it was true, you didn’t get much sleep, but the beginning of the night was nice, at least for you…snuggled against him…

“I dreamt about dad last night…” said Eli with a tired voice.

“Damnit that’s the icing on the cake! I’m tired of this place.” growled Charlie suddenly angry. “It smells like death, everything is soaked, fuck…let’s go”.

You quickly left the place, eager to reach Jacksonville and sleep in a dry and warm place. Of course, when you reached the city, there was no time to rest, the priority was to get to Morris and Herman.

“So, how do we operate for Warm?” asked Eli

“As usual, Morris give us Warm and we finish the job” replied Charlie as he loaded his gun.

“Ready?” he asked looking at his brother, then at you, you nodded fastening your belt around your hips.

“Watch the back, and you Y/N you wait the main entrance in case he tries to run away.” he instructed, you want to place yourself at the entrance, looking all around for any suspects, your hand on your gun, ready to shoot.

“They’re not here!” you heard Charlie scream; your eyes widened at the news.

“What!?” you exclaimed, how’s that possible!

“They left the town 4 days ago! Fuck!” fumed Charlie. You joined him upstairs, Morris had left a note, which Charlie asked you to read, as he didn’t how to read.

“He’s lying” you commented, this all story of he ran away from me was too easy.

“Who the hell is he kidding!? This asshole, who the hell is he kidding!?” exploded Charlie, passing a hand through his hair. He headed to the bar downstairs.

“We should continue until Mayfield, that’s part of the contract” you advised determined to do your job.

“She’s right and fuck, the job is to kill Warm wherever he is!” answered Charlie frustrated, he was right, otherwise none of you would get paid.

“Don’t speak so loud” warned his brother and he was right, who knows if they had partners here in the bar.

“I don’t give a fuck where they are, we find him and shoot him” insisted Charlie as he drank his whisky.

“When are we gonna go home?” asked Eli, he was tired of running after Herman, it left you a bit confused, it was part of the job, why was he undedicated to his job?  

“We will go home, once the job is finished Eli” replied Charlie irritated

“Charlie´s right, it´s a matter of reputation, we have to finish the job whatever it takes.” you supported him.  

“I feel like they’re getting farther and farther from us…how much time did we stay in the forest?” wondered Eli out loud.

“Between your notorious bad luck and your illness, we didn’t save time, that for sure.” you almost choked on your drink and went to sip your drink a few feet from them, you knew they were going to argue.

“What? Say that again? You’re saying it’s my fault!?” started the older brother.

“Yeah kinda, no?” asked innocentely Charlie, was he actually serious or did he just pretend?

“Want me to talk about how you got drunk over and over!? Huh? That doesn’t waste time huh! the days when you can’t even hold your saddle anymore or the other morning where you vomited on yourself! My bad luck, fuck you Charlie!” denounced Eli, that was a nasty shot, but the truth nonetheless, the two brothers separate, leaving you alone in the saloon. You finished your drink and decided to go after the younger brother, you found him in a back alley nearby, smoking a cigarette.  

“Hey Charlie.”

“What!” he snapped when his eyes landed on you, he seemed to calm down a bit.

“I know how it feels…” you started softly, he scoffed, exhaling the smoke in his lungs.

“When we drown ourselves in alcohol or drugs because of our families…”

“I doubt you know anything about it” he sneered.

“I became addicted to opium because of them. But then I realize it won´t change what happened and stopping this shit helped me to feel better.” you explained truthfully, hoping to make him react.

“What just because you wanted to live like a man?” this comment hurt you more than you expected, he didn´t have the right to say that, he didn´t what they did to you. You clenched your jaw, swallowing back tears that had formed in your eyes and turned on your heels to leave, you needed another drink after all.  

“Fuck, Y/N I’m sorry” he called you softly, you turned your head and gave him a sad smile, shaking your head, he will never learn to let himself be vulnerable.

“Forget it.” you told him as you left him, it will make him think.

The very same day you left for Mayfield, you ‘ll only spend one night camping and the day after you should arrive in Mayfield. The ride was silent, you and Eli were angry at Charlie for his condescending attitude. Eventually in the evening the two brothers started to talk to each other again, but you didn´t speak to Charlie, he had hurt your feelings when you thought you could open up to him and in return, he would accept your help. Still, Charlie tried to talk to you several times to break the ice. But it didn´t work you were decided to make him think about it the whole night.

As the morning came. Charlie was the first awake, he had had a shitty night, turning over and over in his bunk. He didn´t like when you didn’t pay attention to him, when you refused to talk to him; he had thought about it and had realized he had assumed what you had been through, now he wanted to make it up to you. So, he started to make breakfast, to the smell Eli started to wake up, as for you, you were still asleep. So slowly, he approached you to wake you up, he picked a long herb on the floor, crouching down in front of you and started to tickle your nose with the herb, he had a playful grin. Eli smiled because he knew his brother was starting to have feelings for you, still he warned him:  

“Charlie…don’t be silly, remember what she…”

You wake up startled and out of reflex punch him in the face, you didn’t expect to find a man so close to you while you were sleeping.

“Ow fuck!” he growled in pain, you realized too late you had strongly punched him in the nose, even though he kinda deserved it after yesterday.

“What were you doing so close to me Charlie!? I warned you Charlie, since the first day!” you panicked, now you were feeling more sorry than angry, you had punched him without thinking, and now his nose was bleeding.

“I was waking you up gently!” he explained as if his feelings were hurt;  did he really?  

“Apologize to Y/N, Charlie” said Eli to his brother, Charlie looked at his brother with wide eyes, a funny betrayed expression on his face.

“What? I’m the one with a bleeding nose here! I was being nice!” he protested.

“It will teach me to want to be nice to you! Fuck.” he mumbled, angrily leaving to go to the river, to clean away the blood from his face.  

His brother gave you a look like ‘you should go see him’, you rolled your eyes and went after Charlie. You found him crouched down on the bank of the river, trying to wash away the blood but he hissed as his fingers touched a bit to roughly his nose. He didn´t look at you as you crouched down next to him, you took out of your pocket a handkerchief you had, dampening it in the cool water, then gently you took his chin between your fingers, making him turn his head to look at you, his eyes didn´t meet yours, he was embarrassed about yesterday; very gently you started to clean away the blood from his face, your thumb sometimes brushing against his lips, under the pretext of getting rid of the blood, you could shamelessly look at his face, there was no point in denying that he was a beautiful man and you knew that in there somewhere, there was also a sweet and caring man, you had briefly seen if before.

“I´m sorry, about yesterday…I spoke without thinking” he apologized softly.

“I know, but it still hurt.” you replied focusing yourself on cleaning away the blood.

“Sometimes I wish I didn´t drink, but…it feels good you know?” he finally confessed; he was looking at you in the eyes now, he had this look, just like a child wanting to be understood.    

“I know, but you also know that each time it is a brief relief and that´s why you start again and again but trust me there are some things in this world that could bring you peace.” you had finished cleaning the blood away but your hand remained on his cheek, your thumb gently stroking it, Charlie swallowed down, his eyes traveling to your lips.

“Like what?” his question barely coming out as a whisper as brought his face closer to yours. You wanted to kiss him, you realized just now that you had fallen in love with him; so, you leaned in, his lips were now only a few inches from yours…  

“Hey! We should go!” you both jumped at the calling of Eli, now you were blaming him for interrupting you, you turned to Charlie but he was already up.

“He´s right we´re already late enough.”  he said like nothing had happened, avoiding your gaze once again, you wished he said something like ´I care about you’ or ´we´ll take about this later´ or just a simple touch on your arm, but nothing, he headed back to the camp without looking back at you.  

“Well done, Eli…” you muttered as you passed next to him.

“What did I do?” he asked dumbfounded, then he saw the look on your face, how you looked at Charlie “Oh, I interrupted something didn´t I?” you lowered your looking at the reigns of your horse.

“Sorry” he apologized, you lifted your hand in the air, indicating him that he didn’t do it on purpose.

You finally arrived in Mayfield at the end of the day, the ride had been better than you had thought, the Sun was warm and a cool breeze was blowing.  

“You think this guy came here because it’s called Mayfield? Or is it called Mayfield since he’s here?” asked Eli impressed by how, the name was on every door.

“I think this guy is so arrogant that he named the city after himself” you commented looking around.

“Yeah, maybe everything here belongs to him” added Charlie.

“Yeah we can see his name everywhere” observed his brother.

The three of you entered the bar, you leaned your back against the counter, your elbows resting on it as you looked at the people around.  

“Hi, we’re looking for a guy named Warm, small, tanned skin, he might have come here a few days ago” inquired the older brother.

“I don’t know sir” answered shyly the barman.

“Oh really, and a man, tall, dark hair, in his forty’s?” insisted Charlie.

“I don’t know sir; I don’t want to be involved in this…” replied the man with fear in his eyes.

“Oh, you don’t wanna be involved in this…give us whisky” snarled Charlie irritated.  

“Regular or Mayfield?” you turned your head, arching an eyebrow at the barman.

“Really?” you asked, boy this Mayfield was narcissistic.

“Regular. A bottle, three glasses.” clarified Charlie. From the corner of your eyes you saw a very tall woman approach.

“I heard you’re looking for someone, usually people come to me to know what’s going on” Charlie laughed in disbelief at the tall women before him.

“And you are?” you asked intrigued taking a sip of your drink.

“Mayfield” you fully turned to the woman; Eli took his hat off.

“Hey sweetheart, looks like you have another female living like you” replied Charlie sarcastically, you threw him an annoyed look.

“My partners and I are looking for Herman Warm, a small man, tanned skin, we think he came here 5 o 6 days ago” repeated Charlie, the woman seemed to think for a bit.  

“Warm? No, never seen him” you sighed, they have to be somewhere, they didn’t disappear like that.

“Is he a friend of yours?” she asked, you and Charlie scoffed.

“He owes our employer, the commodore, in Oregon city…we’re the Sisters brothers and Y/N.” he bragged, you rolled your eyes, he should be more careful, you didn’t who’s this Mayfield, maybe a very powerful woman with hundreds of henchmen at her service.

“Delighted gentlemen, how much time are you staying here?” you squinted your eyes at this question, she was very curious, even if she was the one in charge of the town.

“Well it depends…” started Charlie, you were already late enough, didn’t need to stay here for more time.  

“We leave tomorrow, at dawn” Eli took the words right out of your mouth.

“It depends.” repeated Charlie as he saluted the prostitutes upstairs. You frowned, was he really considering their services after your almost-kiss a few hours ago?! You followed them upstairs, you were probably overreacting.  

“What’s wrong with you? Telling every about your life, the commodore, the Sisters brothers.” scolded Eli

“Oh, come on, didn’t you see how the lady was honored to see us? And I like to see if our reputation precedes us. Unlike you brother, I’m proud of what I do.” you sighed soundly; Charlie was starting to seriously annoy you.

“Pffff”  

“Pfffff what does that mean?” asked Charlie to his brother ready to fight back.

“It means I know what’s gonna happen tonight, you’re gonna drink like crazy and tomorrow you’ll hella sick” Eli was right, you should be already on your horses.

“You forget one small detail, I’m gonna fuck like a rabbit!” declared excitedly Charlie before continuing his way up, Eli didn´t say anything but he looked at you confused. You clenched your jaw when you heard this.

“Another damn day…” you muttered irritatingly, unless he had been speaking about you which you were pretty sure he wasn´t…  

“Don’t pay attention to him lady’s, he’s old and boring!” flirted Charlie with the prostitutes, god you were so furious at him.

As you expected, it was barely dark outside that Charlie was already drinking, surrounded by a bunch of women. You sighed, leaning against the counter next to Eli.

“I don’t trust this Mayfield, there’s something weird” you spoke, she had a weird attitude.

“You think? What I think is that Charlie better not mess up cause they’re all armed in here.” answered Eli, you scoffed before taking a sip of your drink.  

“I couldn’t care less right now…” you muttered, anger in your voice.

“I thought you liked h-…oh, is it because of the girls?” you didn’t answer but you clenched your jaw at the thought of him with these women.

“He’s an idiot.” you released a smile, that he was…

You refused to go near Charlie in the following hours, you were angry at him, you thought there was something between the two of you, bullshit.  

“Hey bro! Joining the party? Where are you going?” you could tell by his voice that Charlie state of drunkenness was already quite advanced, from the corner of your eyes you saw Eli go to a woman, then away upstairs; now you were all by yourself, like you had been your whole life…

Then, you saw Charlie, go upstairs with two girls, you couldn’t hold it anymore and angrily left the saloon, you needed some fresh air, you were having trouble to breath, angry tears were now running down your cheeks. You decided to go for a walk in the town, you needed to clear your mind. You settled on the stairs of the house, and plunged into your mind for several minutes, an hour maybe. Until your eyes got distracted by several man, they were heading to the saloon, they didn’t look like they were here to party, they were armed, something was wrong, and you felt like it had to do with your job, you had to go tell the brothers. But several of them were posted at the entrance of the saloon, you couldn’t take them all by yourself, you needed to help the brothers to get out if they realize what’s happening, you went to hide in a back alley, a fired a shot in the direction, the distraction was working, half of them came in your direction, you could handle that, and you hoped the two brothers would get out safely.  

You hid in the dark as you heard the men approach, you took them down one after the other with your hunting knife, the others couldn’t hear the gun shots. At the same moment you jumped as you heard gunshots being fired, a full fight was happening, you had to join them and help them, as you reached the place, you saw one man running out which you instantly shot dead, at the same moment came out the two brothers, you sighed in relief, they were alive.

“Only arriving now? Where were you?” asked Charlie condescending.  

“Fuck you Charlie.” you snapped, you were not in the mood for his goofiness or whatever that was.

“Woa, woa! You better have a good reason to speak to me this way” he threatened, taking a few steps towards you.

“I will when you’ll stop being a drunkard and an asshole!” you snapped back, he made an insulted face.

“Now what?! What did I do to piss you off?”

“Don´t pretend you don´t know what happened, sweetheart” you sneered, imitating his flirty tone.

“Oh, come one, get a room you two!” interrupted Eli, starting to be really annoyed by your fight.

“Stop saying bullshit Eli!” snapped back Charlie, pointing his finger at him.

“Yeah, who would want to sleep with you anyway, apart from prostitutes… I’m out of this, you can keep my salary” you let out, you were fed up by his attitude.

Charlie watched you go away; he blinked a few times no fully realizing what was happening.  

“Good riddance” he grumbled as he struggled to keep his balance.    

“Charlie, go talk to her.” advised his brother.

“But…” Charlie started to protest.

“Come on, stop acting like a child, I see how you look at her and you know very well it’s mutual; you have a wonderful woman ready to love you and you’re letting her go…she might be your only chance of happiness, don’t miss it Charlie…”

Charlie passed a hand through his hair, he was having a hard time to think, he wanted to continue his job and do whatever he wanted, but you had been so different from the women he met, you had appeased his soul better than any harlot or alcohol…he had to get you back, keep you close to him. He gave one last look to his brother “get Mayfield and wait for us” he instructed before heading in the direction you had went.

You didn´t go far, you had entered in a barn and were sitting on a bunch of straw, you were angry, close to tears, why did you think he could ever feel something for you? You shook your head; you should have never…

“Y/N?” you looked at Charlie, he had managed to find you, why was he coming after you anyway?

“What do you want?” you asked meeting his eyes, he looked less drunk right now.  

“I came to apologize…” he started, you scoffed

“You ´ll have to do more than that this time Charlie.” you got up angrily, you came closer to him, honestly you were so close to beat his ass right now.  

“You want to flirt with me? Fine but don´t pretend to care about me.” admitting openly how you felt. He blinked, not expecting to hear those words; you could bear to look at him right now, you had to go away but he caught you by the arm.

“I do care about you” he admitted, this revelation struck you, but you didn’t want to believe it, surely, he was joking again.  

“Let go of me” you threatened

“Or what?” he challenged suddenly yanking your arm and pinning you to the wall, his arms on each side of your face to block you, your heartbeat increased.

“Careful Charlie, you don´t know what you´re dealing with…” you warned him, reading to fight him

“But I want to!” he replied, you opened and close your mouth several times.

“What?” you asked him confused.

“I want to… I want you to be with me, I want to take care of you just like you do for me.” he clarified; you were still wary but hope started to again to build in your chest.

“Then why did you go to these women?” he sighed, shaking his head, looking away.

“Because… despite how I feel about you, I have my father´s blood running through my veins, he…he was a monster Y/N…”  

“But you have also your mother´s and from what I´ve heard she´s a good person” you rested your hand on his chest.

“Yes, she´s a saint…but it doesn’t mean I´m a good man” he said seriously as if it was a warning, his eyes finally went back to you, you chuckled, your hand coming to the back of his neck.

“Who said I wanted a good man.” you replied with a smirk, forcefully grabbing his hair before crashing your lips on his, he growled at the contact, one of his hands grabbing your back, his tongue quickly came to tease yours, meeting yours in a passionate battle, he tasted like whisky. Then, his mouth started to trail kisses down your jaw then your neck, sucking, nibbling the most sensitive areas which made you moan, how you had longed for this…

“Fuck me” you breathed in his ear, you didn’t have the patience tonight, you wanted him. Right now. He chuckled against your throat.  

“Your wish is my command sweetheart.” he purred, sending shivers down your spine, increasing the heat between your legs. Your hand went to unbutton his shirt, you were finally touching his warm skin, the one you had longed for during the past days.  

Then, you slid your hand between his skin and his shirt until they arrived on his back, where your fingers slowly went down, sliding under the fabric of his pants and undergarment, grabbing his ass, you smirked as he groaned under your touch.  He captured your mouth once again, you lifted one leg, trying not to fall as you took off your boots, Charlie helping you, his mouth never leaving yours, then his hand traveled to your lower belly, caressing your spot through the clothes, your arched your body under this teasing touch, you wanted so much more, apparently he wasn´t the only one who couldn´t hold any longer. His fingers were busy unbuttoning your pants, with a gesture of his hand he let your pants and panties slide along your legs, you freed your ankles from them, you quickly unbuttoned his pants, you fingers shaking with arousal, then your hand finding his hard manhood, eagerly stroking it, a needy moan escaped his lips, he couldn´t take it anymore, he grabbed the back of your thighs, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his hips, which you did, holding tight on his shoulders, your back pressed against the wall, then in one sharp thrust he entered you, making you whimper with hunger, his thrust quickly became faster and faster, you were moaning scratching his back as you hold tighter under his rough thrusts, and he groaned pleased at the sounds of pleasure he was getting out of you, until you came, his seed filling your inside.  

He rested his forehead against your collarbone, you placed tender kisses on his temple and his hair then slowly pushed himself out of you, then let go of your legs, you still had to hold onto him, your legs were shaking; Charlie was panting, he lifted his head, resting his left hand on the wall to support himself, his other hand came up to cup your jaw, he made eye contact with you, closing the gap between your lips in a passionate kiss, you closed your eyes at the sweet sensation. You wanted to stay right here, in his arms, but you knew important matters needed to be takin care of.

“Your brother is going to wonder where we are…and we have to make Mayfield pay” you murmured against his ear, gently biting his lobe, you felt teasing, reading for a second round, he chuckled, then his eyes met yours, danger in his eyes, he was thirsty for revenge.  

“Yeah, let’s kick her ass, sweetheart.”

Thanks for reading

I hope you liked it! And tell me if you’d like a part 2!!

Tag list: @lyoongx​ @weirdflecksbutok​ @skaravile​ @niniitah-ah @welcometomyhiddlesfandom​

[hellyeahheroes]

Marvel Teen Romance: Girls Edition Part 1

Solo Boys Edition

Romance is a dying art in superhero comics. 

In a medium rife with sexism, the idea of romance becomes tainted with unfortunate cliches in a wave of women’s empowerment. Terms like Damsel-in-Distress becomes less of a person benefiting of a hero’s altruism to ranging from the unfortunate burden of being the one who needs to be saved as a sign of a weakness.

Marvel best example of the romance is Peter Parker and Mary Jane. A romance rife with editorial backlash that never liked the former and did their damnest and are doing their damnest to demean the character for their own ideal partner for Spider-man or Peter. MJ was making grown ass men who resented their wives and marriages project onto Peter. If you want to see an example of the sexism of Marvel, look up Christopher Priest’s opinion of Peter Parker and MJ and then after you pick up your jaw, keep reading.

Now women in Marvel have to appeal to the girls reading them. They have to be strong and strength is often interpreted as independence from men. There is rarely moments of weakness or yearning for these characters. They do not fawn for men or anyone at all and if they do long for anyone, it is for another woman, Today’s Marvel female youth opt for solitude and hyperfocus on the mission because writers refuse to even approach the hormone addled teenaged girl which has been derided as a stereotype. There is no swooning or rarely hint of attraction towards anybody, especially the opposite sex.

The pros are that stories are more varied and page space is not wasted on smitten teen girls being smitten on useless boys.

The cons is that it creates an archetype of stereotypical strong independent female in which their only characteristic is that they are strong and/or independent which contrasts men because men can be more varied in attitude and personality while women writers opt not to even engage in romance while also not addressing the character’s sexuality. They are not allowed to be young or be emotional. 

Also, because of classism, the superhero woman opts for her equal in terms of status and usually only date men or women who are also superheroes while men, again are more varied. Men in romances with superheroic women are never powerless and usually fill an utility role. There is a need for them to want to help a perfectly capable woman. There is only one teenaged hero with a solo and a non-superhero partner and even then most of the male partners who aren’t have to be of use to the heroine in their vigilantism. They cannot just have their own lives separate from what the hero is doing like a Mary Jane Watson. They have to be hyper-competent and be apart of the heroines lives. Again, it wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the implied sexism/classism. Spider-Gwen does not get the same fantasy as Peter Parker(will get to that later).

On a side note: To Mayday fans, Anya fans, Pei from Iron Fist fans, Moon Girl fans, Squirrel Girl fans, and any girl that I excluded from this post, they will definitely be in part two. I am sorry, but I just couldn’t. You will see how long this post is and this isn’t malicious on my part, but I hope you understand and forgive me. I mean I have to go back and update the boys edition. Cut me some slack. Anya and Pei were part of the original draft but shit got too long and it didn’t feel right to include them as a footnote.

Here are Marvel’s main solo teen women, romances, and romance history:

Kate Bishop a.k.a Hawkeye

Gender: Female

Orientation: ...Questioning? We’ll just say questioning

Love Interests: Johnny Watts aka Fuse(current), Noh-Var, Tommy Shepherd,  Eli Bradley(retconned), Clown

We are starting with Kate Bishop because she is the closest to a modern woman’s love life. She has a cult following made of predominantly white women because Kate is empowered white girl embodied. And her dating life is modern in that Kate is one of the few women in Marvel that has relationships like men and is never shamed for it. Of all the women on this list, Kate was never not the focus or seen as codependent one. In fact, she is the capable and strong personality in her current relationship with Johnny Watts. He plays the supporting role for her. However varied Kate’s romantic history is, it is the prototypical love life of a teenaged Marvel woman. Every single one of her romances are by definition superheroes or vigilantes or villains. She does not have ordinary men in her life.

Now you are probably thinking that Kate is a team character. You would be right, but I think I speak for all Kate fans is that she is exceptional in that she can and has held books before alone where her other Young Avengers can’t be assed to have an appearance. And I like Kate. She is my favorite white girl in Marvel. So here we go.

And no, I am not going to consider her rapists in Central Park as love interests, but I will say that her relationship with men and her overall independence from them even while she is in relationship with them is because of this assault. There...I said it.

Eli Bradley aka the Patriot. Kate and Eli started off from a rocky place. Kate wanting to be super strong and independent rich girl and Eli being super prideful and somewhat sexist. Eli wants to fulfill his grandfather’s legacy and feels that he has to immediately live up to him no matter what probably did not like Kate upstaging him, and Kate mistook what Eli was saying as sexist. It wasn’t that Kate was a girl that was the problem. It was that Kate was a rich white girl who chose to make rescuing herself and then making he and the Young Avengers look like idiots that was the problem. So they argue and fuss at each other all of the time.

Kate misinterprets Eli’s reluctance to have her and Cassie on the team as sexist when in fact, the team was constructed for a specific purpose and have a specific roster pool to draw from. Cassie and Kate just aren’t in it.

So Eli and Kate take each other apart and both take shots at each other.

So Kate and Eli have this tic for tac relationship which is something Kate seems to relish in while Eli seems to be abrupt with her about it.

And also, the two both have Strong Type A personalities. They both want to be the leader of the Young Avengers.

But during a fight with Kang the Conqueror, both Kate and Eli reach an impasse. 

Kate’s and Eli’s relationship starts to develop a bit and after some revelations about Eli come to the surface and the Avengers disband the Young Avengers only for the team to regroup out of spite of the Avengers. They start recruiting again, then come across Tommy Shepherd, Billy Kaplan’s brother and son of Wanda Maximoff.

And Eli doesn’t like him because Tommy seems to be a little too okay with murder and wanton acts of violence.

Kate and Eli start getting along to an extent. Eli is more of a stern individual and cuts Kate no slack. But Kate often challenges him.

And eventually they go on a date.

Uh. Excuse me. Not a date.

After getting jumped by Ronin on their Central Park, Not-A-Date carriage ride, Kate tried to calm him down after a disastrous evening.

So enough about Eli, let’s move on to Tommy.

Tommy Shepherd is the prototypical fun bad boy. He doesn’t challenge Kate to be better. He dares her to keep up. So after Kate loses her bow and arrow to the original Hawkeye aka Clint Barton in a shooting contest, she goes home feeling ashamed. Eli, still raw from their not-a-date, starts relentlessly criticizing her. Kate did not need that on-top of her embarrassment so she told Eli to fuck off and walked away. Tommy, being less stringent than Eli, talks to Kate. Tommy flirts with Kate, in front of Eli, and they both decide to go out. Tommy was not there for Eli’s and Kate’s fight so he has no idea what is going on. Kate catches him up to speed and well...

Tommy is such an awesome dude when he isn’t murderous. So Kate and Tommy break into Avengers manor and steal back her bow and arrows.

Fun and exciting, bad boy.

The two steal back her bow and arrows and it was a fun date.

Now this triangle business and Kate’s indecisiveness plays a role because eventually she starts teaming up with Clint Barton and she witnesses first hand how disastrous his love life is. But I’ll get to that later. But just to be clear, she doesn’t choose to be with either, Tommy or Eli.

Eli quit the Young Avengers after accidentally having a role in the death of Cassie Lang? It’s confusing. So with Eli’s departure, Young Avengers disbanded and thus Kate decided to team up with the other Hawkeye, Clint Barton, when the other members decided to quit.

Kate Bishop takes up an apprenticeship role under the tutelage of Clint and she helps him out on missions from time to time. There is some hint that Kate is somewhat attracted to him, but she realizes that is nasty and Clint is like twice her age. Clint, however, likes teaching her because Kate is a fast learner.

So this pairing of the Hawkeye’s became somewhat of sensation that propelled Kate to mainstream attraction. The crime busting duo became the bane of low level street thugs all over Brooklyn. But under his mentorship, Kate also saw how much of a wreck Clint’s life was. More specifically, his love life.

Clint was dating Jessica Drew at the time. But he slept with Penny, some woman he rescued, while he was dating her. Natasha is more of his work wife in a sense, you’ll have to ask Hawkeye fans if they ever dated, but she is more concerned with the fact that Clint robbed some gangsters and got arrested. Bobbi was Clint’s ex-wife...well at the time of the comic, she was his separated wife. She wants to find Clint to finalize their divorce. So Kate is dragged into this mess.

Kate witnesses what a mess Clint’s life is, and she gains one fear: to not be like Clint Barton.

Fast forward to the Young Avengers relaunch.

Kate wakes up from a booty call. And it is not some ordinary booty call. No-nonono.

Enter Noh-Varr. Like the narration says, she met Noh-Varr and he collectively kicked all of the Young Avengers asses. And I guess she is over that now and Kate and he hooked up. Noh-Varr is the silly himbo. Stupid but pretty as heck to look at.

It is hard to classify what she and Noh-Varr were because to me, they weren’t really an item as he was more like a one night stand that became a multiple night stand... Good dick is hard to find so if you find one, might as well hold on to it for awhile, am I right ladies?

Anyways, I couldn’t tell you the plot of Young Avengers 2015 because...even I was confused by it. Regardless, we are here for Kate’s love life.While facing the final...whatever the fuck they are fighting, Noh decides to confess to Kate.

And telling Kate that he was semi-seeing someone else on the side kind of drove the relationship to hell.

Anyways, we moving on. Also, America suggests something to Kate.

Another oddity in Kate’s love life is that most, if not all, of her lovers are bi. Juries out on Eli(and will probably stay that way), but both Johnny(we’ll get to him) and Noh-Varr, her only serious relationships, are bi and are attracted to each other. The irreverence that Kate has for dating should be dating because she rarely pontificates on her partners. There is no, “I wonder what X is doing.” It is all business, and rarely play. Also, we are not suggesting that women dating exclusively bi-women are bi by association. We are saying that Kate Bishop isn’t as straight as she thinks she is.

What she fears is having a love life like her mentor, Clint Barton: A fucking mess. Kate is the only young woman who has had multiple booty calls and has pulled the, “Well last night is fun, but you got to get the fuck up out of here” on a dude.

And by doing this, she is acting as self-destructive as Clint who is notorious for doing the same thing. Kate declares that she doesn’t need attachments and that the above boy was too clingy for wanting to hang out after knocking boots. He was a distraction for Kate. Miss America points out the irony of her saying something like that.

On top of everything, Kate decides to get away from Clint and heads out to Los Angeles to start a detective agency. She gets up to some high class hijinx there and in the midst of the chaos, she meets a boy.

Johnny Watts.

What I like about Johnny is that he isn’t overstepping of Kate. He is lax and is perfectly willing to step aside and let Kate be a hero and not let his male ego get wounded by the fact that his girlfriend is a kick ass superhero. Johnny also unlike Eli can keep up with Kate’s wit so their banter/flirtation is quick and rapid.

He is also supportive and understanding.

They hook up after Kate defeats Madame Masque again.

Johnny seems like a normal dude, right. There is nothing strange about him at all. So what is with the above preamble if the first Marvel heroine you mention has a normal boyfriend? Well...

Johnny absorbs the matter of anything he touches and can briefly become the item. It ranges from concrete to even vibranium. Why vibranium? Well he has a nose ring that is made of vibranium. Why does he have a nose ring made from a precious Wakandan resource? Johnny and his sister are Wakandan exiles and they kept a piece of vibranium as keepsakes.

So Johnny has powers like all of Kate’s other boyfriends and exes. When Kate forms the new West Coast Avengers, she enlists her boyfriend as her first recruit. He has issues adjusting into being a superhero, but he is learning. He takes up the alias as Fuse and he and Kate continue with their relationship without much trepidation. Until Noh-Varr comes back.

And Noh-Varr being a himbo doesn’t necessarily jive well with the relationship because Noh-Varr has no tact or grace. He is also really attractive and a pretty boy.

And then it dons on Kate that her boyfriend and her ex are attracted to one another.

All and all, Kate is the standard for super-heroine women in Marvel in.

Miss America Chavez

Gender: Female

Orientation: Lesbian

Love Interests: Ramone Watts(current),Lisa, Ultimate Nullifier

Yes, she is lesbian. Ultimate Nullifier was simply an experiment that she didn’t like after the first kiss. Like one kiss with a guy and she said, “umm nope.”

She is lesbian. She likes girls and from the general reception of the character, girls like her too.I am not going to bother covering her relationship with Ultimate Nullifier because who the fuck really cares about that guy?

I can’t tell you much about Lisa other than America isn’t necessarily a good girlfriend. 

Well she isn’t? Like there was this whole convoluted thing that made America break up with Lisa for a reason I can’t really explain and the narrative tried to paint America as in the right when she was a shitty girlfriend. I just wanted to put Lisa in there because I like to confirm that she existed and still doesn’t have a last name.

Anyways, on to the good shit.

America and Ramone met through mutual colleague and also shared friend, Kate Bishop. Kate was dating Ramone’s brother and America kept Kate around so Kate could ogle her. Anyways, Ramone was trapped in a collapsing building and America saved her and caused Ramone to have what could only be described as gay panic. So naturally, the two decided to date because...well have you seen Miss. America Chavez. If one could describe her, she would be the one woman “reason why I’m gay” justification for women.

That image alone just created like 10 lesbians.

Anyways, the two are just cute. Like I can’t even describe how the two are just cute around each other.

But no one wants to be like deadweight as Nero from Devil May Cry can attest to. So Ramone, like her brother, turn out to be exiles from Wakanda.

And then this happened.

And Allow was born. So after Alloy rescues America and the West Coast Avengers, let’s just say that America was very excited about the new development that her girlfriend has powers just like her.

And they lived happily ever after and are still the item until this day. 

Laura Kinney aka X-23 aka Wolverine

Orientation: Indecisive

Love Interests: Julian Keller,  Warren Worthington(ewwwwww)

tw: sex trafficking, rape, and incest mentions

I don’t know what I expect out of franchise spawned the likes of Wolverine being with anybody or the idea that Wanda and Pietro practicing incest or Professor Xavier being in love with Jean Grey. I honestly don’t know why I hoped they would handle this character with tact as she is the most popular X-character made in the past 20 years. God forbid I expected that the  franchise that insisted on Emma Frost mind raping Cyclops and then being an item  would actually think about Laura Kinney as a character and not do some inappropriate shit...but here we are.

Let me explain the life of one Laura Kinney in the Marvel comics and why everything about her being in a relationship with a man who is the same age physically as her father is a bad idea. We all know about the X-periment and how she was the gender flipped clone of Wolverine...or is she her biological daughter? Who the fuck knows or even cares, let me get to the point.

Laura Kinney is a victim of sex trafficking. She was pimped out and did some weird dark shitty shit and yes, it involved her claws. So her history with sex in general should be handled tactfully. Her life has been nothing but violence and death and dismemberment. And I am not saying that Laura should not find love. I am saying that a girl like Laura should not be with older men, but what do I know. It seems the X-men franchise seems to be looking for writers whose only criteria is that  you have to have a creepy fascination with Kitty Pryde.

Granted, Julian Keller aka Hellion had a relationship with Laura that allowed her to express emotions like a teenaged girl should be allowed to express without the influence of an older men. Julian’s relationship was born of resentment because Laura was not a real mutant, whatever that mean to fear that Laura was nothing but an assassin to admiration after witnessing how much Laura endured. Notice how Julian could never push or influence Laura to do things that she did not want to do. 

Warren is the same fucking age as Cyclops. If you are going to make a stink about Rachne being with Josh Foley, then why in the fuck is this 30+ year old man with a fresh faced teenaged abused girl?

I’m just saying that any character with rape and/or sex trafficking as their backstory should be handled as gracefully as possible in regards to romantic interests and sexuality. Her being with Adam is not handling gracefully.

Gwen Stacy aka Ghost Spider

Gender: Female

Orientation: ?

Love Interests: Peter Parker, Harry Osborn, Miles Morales, ...fuck it, I am going to go ahead in put Mary Jane Watson in here

Okay.

“But, Gwemj isn’t canon so why would you put that in here?”

First off, Spider-Gwen is the quintessential pinnacle of everything that is wrong with how Marvel deals with superhero romances with solo women. There is no reason why in the 4 years as of this writing, that you have yet to introduce a love interest that is Spider-man viable in the 50 issues she has starred in. There is no excuse that her first kiss was not with anybody within her supporting cast, but with another established hero. Spider-Gwen, you have an underdeveloped supporting cast and setting, and it fucking shows.

Second, it was clear that the original plan was Gwemj, but Gwen Stacy became popular and marketable so they derailed the sapphic train and landed on the most forced and out of theme romance in recent comic book history. Like for fuck’s sake, she is Spider-man for girls and women. You know how many superheroes Peter Parker dated, 3-4 if you count Kitty Pryde and every time it never worked out because they could never relate to Peter Parker.

That is the fucking point, Marvel/Latour/McGuire although the last person isn’t the biggest offender.

Giving Gwen a superhero love interest negates the fucking point of Spider-man. It is against theme and it is really sexist as shit because every male hero has a love interest that is not superpowered. Not a one woman can hook up with a non-powered boy if they are in hetero romances.

Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy is the most cynical pairing shill that I’ve ever seen.

The fact of the matter is that Gwen has the most chemistry with Mary Jane and most of her romances have been bouts of forced heterosexuality. And it is not that she is possibly heterosexual that is the problem. It is that you refuse to develop said romances and try to make sure the man involved is just as empowered as the girl for no fucking reason. 

It’s pure laziness.

Anyways, it’s hard to pindown where I should start this because the comic creates Gwen’s origin out of flashbacks so it’s hard to figure what came first.. And I guess it begins with Peter.

I’m working with assumption in trying to nail down the chronological order. Okay, Peter noted Gwen’s music in her headphones and identified it. Gwen was on that Neku Sakuraba tip except without the angry at the world attitude so she was this disheveled girl who listened to music openly and isolated herself from cast. But she wasn’t bullied or anything like Pete.

She was a cool loser.

So after their shared taste in music, Peter and Gwen become fast friends, but it is hinted that Peter had a crush on her and it more than platonic feeling for her. Anyways, Gwen’t and Peter’s duet became a 3 man band as they added residnet outcast, Harry Osborm to the crew.

Now do the math, two boys and one girl. 

It is obvious that both boys have a crush on the one girl. Now it is hard to discern Gwen’s feelings for either of the two boys because there isn’t a lot shown. But the main takeaway is that Peter was broken down by bullying. He channelled his inner Vergil because he wanted power. This universe’s Peter is the Peter we see in Ditko’s early Spider-man run without the powers and none of the growth he received later. Harry, on the otherhand, is well aware of how broken Peter is and resolves to not be like him while hoping to move in on the cute blonde.

“...They won’t break me like they broken [Peter]”

So Peter is not exactly the kid you’d say after a school shooting, no one would expect that he was the culprit. I’m pretty sure no one at Midtown would be surprised. So guess what sends Peter over the edge?

No surprise here that Peter Parker without the character growth of becoming Spider-man becomes an incel asshole.

Anyways, some time passes and Prom happens. Guess who is going stag?

No that is an actual question because I am not sure who went with whom. Did Gwen decide to go out with Harry? Are they dating? Who the fuck knows because there isn’t a lot to infer from these panels.

Judging by the clothes, Gwen isn’t dressed up or gussied up. She is wearing a white T-shirt at Prom. She doesn’t appear to be with anybody. Harry isn’t with anybody either and Peter definitely isn’t. And this is why when you make a character, you start at the beginning. This shouldn’t be background or filer. This is essential information because I assumed that we had a love triangle going on with two wayward boys pining after the same girl. It’s clear that Harry has a crush on Gwen. It’s implied that Peter had a crush on Gwen as well with his reaction and calling Harry a traitor.

It’s really unclear and it is a situation that defines Gwen’s story and stories going forward. We really don’t know what happened at prom and the first Midtown attack. We really don’t know exactly what led to Peter turning himself into the Lizard. There are inferences and implications, but nothing is concrete. This series is built on the idea that Peter Parker’s death matters without giving a reason why to care about Peter Parker. And just to remind you that while the Night Gwen Stacy Died didn’t focus on Gwen Stacy, you had nearly a hundred issues to care about her prior to her death. Gwen is not just some iconography and symbolism. She was an actual character. A bad one, but nonetheless, she had more than a few pages to get represent a character.

So after Prom was a murderous incel Lizard shitshow and Gwen stopped and accidentally killed the Lizard(Key word: accidentally because it’s not clear if Gwen killed him because it was weirdly effective punch and she toyed with him like she usually does), Spider-Gwen goes on a severe depression and isolation streak and doesn’t talk to anyone ever...possibly. Again, it is the case of Gwen’s origin not exactly being clear. We don’t know much and what we are shown was presented through flashbacks.

Until she gets wrapped up in Spider-verse and she meets several Spider-folks with most of them looking like her Peter Parker and falls into a depressive episode realizing that maybe her Peter should have been the one who was bittem and she was destined to be miserable all of her life. Following a confrontation with a grief-stricken 616 Peter Parker stating that she isn’t ‘his’ Gwen, Gwen just doesn’t want to deal with any Spider-men that look like Peter Parker or are Peter Parker. And also, she is still being tormented in her own universe by a smear campaign that unfairly places the blame of Peter’s death on her shoulders. Because of said campaign, Gwen is a fugitive and her enemy, Matthew Murderdock, is extorting her for her own powers that only he has access to and  her father’s life in exchange for working with him.

In summary, Gwen is stressed and is at a breaking point. She is miserable and facing an existential crisis that every adaptation of herself has died or suffered horrible consequences and questions if she is incapable of experiencing happiness. She has lost her Spider-power and has to rely on her sworn enemy to have them. And her whole city sees her as a murderer.

Enter Miles Morales.

I already explained why Miles was in E-65 in the previous post. I don’t need to repeat myself. But I can elaborate on why Miles was attractive to Gwen Stacy. For one, he is a Spider-man that doesn’t remind her of Peter Parker. So she isn’t feeling guilty and at least he isn’t a literal anthropomorphic pig. Two, Miles is around her age. This is debatable because in spite of what Bendis says, Miles was 15 at the time of this arc and he clearly aged Miles up so Gwen didn’t look like a cradle robber for daring to be interested in a kid4-5 years younger than she. And finally, this.

Miles presents the one alternate dimension where she is happy and with children. So combined with Miles being a nice if not horny kid and being overwhelmed with guilt and stress in her daily life. Miles starts becoming more attractive to Gwen. Which leads to....

Okey-doke.

I have made myself clear about how I feel about this ship. If you want a summary, I wish it never existed but here we are.

Anyways, Miles goes back and immediately starts pursuing more interesting love interests and Gwen continues to deal with being stressed. I am going to stop it here. But I want to posit a theory.

Spider-Gwen was supposed to be with Mary Jane or EmJay. For the longest, the tension between Mary Jane and Gwen was honestly the only non-superheroic related with the most tension and description outside of her own father and EmJay seemed focused on Gwen to an absurd degree. It wasn’t until it was reported that Marvel pinned Gwen for her popularity that they didn’t want to damage her marketability so being a lesbian superhero in Marvel is kind of a no-no in terms of profit. But GweMJ was and still is a popular ship so to appease fans, Latour basically threw MJ at Glory in a random and spontaneous manner if only to appease those fans.The issue is that Glory and MJ aren’t super prevalent in the book. I mean Glory Grant isn’t even that important to Spider-man mythos as a whole. So it became a case of pandering to the base while simultaneously throwing the lesbians away.

That is all I am going to say on this.

Kamala Khan aka Ms Marvel

Gender: Female

Orientation: Heterosexual

Love Interests: Bruno(current), Kamren, Dante Pertuz, Red Dagger, Miles Morales(one-sided), Sam Alexander(one-sided)

Ms. Marvel is a teenaged love story with superheroes. It is a romantic literature geared towards Muslim women or girls. It’s true. And I have earned the right to fucking say it. This is going to feel like I am harping on her religion, but Ms. Marvel’s religion is the core of her character and her story. Believe it or not, it is what makes her a hero. It is her “Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.” So it’s important that we discuss how Kamala’s religion has to do with her love interests.

Anyways, let’s start from the beginning.

Bruno has had a childhood crush on Kamala Khan. This subplot is intertwined throughout the book. The struggle however isn’t because Kamala is irreproachable. Her religion is the obstacle.

Kamala’s parents would never accept Bruno Carrelli as a viable partner. In fact, homegirl is not even allowed to date without male supervision.

Kamala initially only sees Bruno as a friend. Her best friend. Don’t say ‘friend zone’ because...grow up honestly.  Kamala didn’t care for boys, but she does care about her independence. Freedom that her cultural mandated patriarchy did not afford her or at least was regimented. I am not Muslim nor a woman, but I would surmise that a lot of teenaged Muslim girls would rebel or want to rebel against such a strict culture especially when they live in America. Kamala strikes the core of conformity to the West being seen being against the Uniformity of Islam and she struggles with being too anti-Muslim to the point that she risks allowing Islamophobia or allowing the cultural misogyny of Islam to guide her and restrict her. That is the internal conflict or religious conflict that Kamala somewhat addresses and part of it has to do with marriage or partnership.

But what makes Kamala heroic is her religion and what makes her strong is her drive to be free.

“Whoever kills one person, it is as if he has killed all of mankind and whoever saves one person, it is as if he has saved all of mankind.

-the Quran

This part sticks with me because while she is quoting a heroic purpose from her religion’s text, she is using patriarchic language so that that quote isn’t referring to who she is not does it apply to her exactly.

Kamala takes the good of her culture and applies it to a purpose to be a hero while somewhat resenting the implied patriarchal stances. This is why Ms. Marvel took off and became the quintessential Muslim Western Hero and Sooraya sadly didn’t. Kamala addresses the internal conflict that a teenaged Pakistani American would have.

I am going to assume that almost every Muslim American girl knows that exact line Kamala’s mom is saying or at least a variation of it.

“But this has nothing to do with her love interests”

It does. Because if her parents control and has the final approval who she is allowed to see, that man is more than likely going to perpetuate the same cultural traditions onto her.

Feminism is a big thing for Kamala so she respects a man that doesn’t overrule her like her father does his mother and her. Which is why Bruno not being a superhero and also being her sidekick is something that she respects and desires. She wants him to assist her and not much else at first when she gained her powers. Bruno becomes her confidant and also her conduit to being Ms. Marvel.

For the bulk of the first volume of Ms. Marvel, Kamala is oblivious to Bruno’s feelings towards her. In fact, Kamala sees him as part of her aesthetic of being a superhero: he is her sidekick. I suspect Wilson didn’t want to have a girl portray a stereotype that girls constantly think of boys.So she flips it on the genders. It is Bruno whose every interaction has to do with Kamala. He is the smitten boy while Kamala is doing her Shounen hero routine. And it is not that she is oblivious to romance. She is just having too much fun being a superhero.

“Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!”

I know it sounds bad and Bruno is absolutely correct, fellas. There is no such as a friend zone and seeing anyone like that shows that you really don’t care for them.

Apologetic moralizing aside, Kamala just did not see Bruno as anything, but a friend.

So Kamala simply is unaware of Bruno’s feelings. And Nakia kind of reinforces how her family feels about Kamala’s future prospects.It is less about the person and more about about the status.

Enter Kamren

Kamren came with a bit of controversy. The idea is that Kamren was supposed to be a classic villain love interest. The implication was that Muslim men are controlling and white men are liberating.

Normally, Kamala’s father and her brother, Aamir, would be seen as protective if they were in any other culture, but being Muslim and arranged marriages are a well-known and often scrutinized practice in Islam, Willow who is a white Muslim woman, unintentionally opened another can of worms: Commentary on Muslim men being evil.

Look, I am not Muslim and I know the bullet points of Islam. Never read the Quaran, but I understand that the Quaran is supposed to be read in Arabic which given the ideas of the Haj and other Muslim traditions, the religion focuses on tradition and a fidelity to that tradition. Coupled with Western Cultural Imperialism, Ms. Marvel faces the problem of delving into some muddy political waters that in every other book,would just be a typical romance trope.

So I suspect Willow meant no harm because she has been a substantial Muslim feminist champion in a political climate in which that would be an oxymoron to a lot people(Not me, but again, I understand 3rd World Feminism ideals of not seeing feminism in the same lens as the west). You can’t escape the notion that depictions matter and having Bruno, white Italian, being seen as the chief romantic interest while depicting the Muslim one as evil and controlling is going to raise an eyebrow or two.

Kamren was set up as an inevitability cultural and the narrative during this arc was made for the reader to sympathize with Bruno.

Bruno is Emineming this shit and Aamir gives him the cold hard reality.

Up to this point, Kamren has been portrayed as an otherwise decent guy. His only flaw was that he wasn’t Bruno. So of course, the facade of him being the perfect Bollywood male lead begins to come down.

“There’s no reason for you to keep wasting your energy to protect people who don’t believe what you believe.”

That is not an obvious parallel that implies some sort of cultural insensitivity. He is talking about Inhumans, but the cultural parallel to other Islamist radical groups is intentional. So swap Inhumanity with Jihadist Islam, then Kamren’s character becomes even more unsettling.

He uses victim-blaming tactics on Kamala in that she chose to be part of this InHumanist movement the moment she enetered the car with him as if he didn’t zap her body unconscious after he revealed his true intentions. Kamren is a disgusting individual and of course Kamala whoops that ass, but I wanted to point out the unfortunate implications of this romance before I moved on.

Meanwhile Bruno gets an SOS from Kamala and tries to save her. He fails miserably, but at least he has this moment.

This cover encapsulates everything about Kamala’s and Bruno’s relationship in Ms. Marvel Volume One.

And just before the end of the world, Bruno finally spits it out.

So that’s it, right? They are just friends, right? 

It’s a love story, you dumbasses. Read this like a teenaged romantic sitcom. This is just phase one.

So Volume 2 of Ms. Marvel kicks off and the world didn’t end. So you think after that awkward but somewhat romantic confession on the rooftop, Kamala and Bruno would hit it off, right?

Brno/s gay? He is with Mike now? Bruno just skyrocketed in popularity with Yaoi fangirls.

Oh, Mike’s a girl and her full name is Michaela Gutierrez ....AND SHE THICK

It’s over Kamala. You lose before you even knew that there was a game. Bruno took that no and went on and found Barbie Ferreira. Bruno figured out what a skinny girl can do that big girl can’t. Answer: Not a goddamn thing! Ahead of his time, really.

Nothing against Mike, she is delightful and honestly, I’m cool with it. Sure, she is destined for failure because she is in the way of the OTP, but goddammit, put both hands up for the big girls.

Kamala takes it personally and decides to give her not-boyfriend the cold shoulder.

Now, if you are a guy and you think Kamala is being a bit of a hypocrite, you are not thinking about this optically. Bruno confessed that he loved her on that rooftop. That is not some shit you just say capriciously especially to your best friend. It looks like on the surface that Bruno just happened to have a backup just in case Kamala said no thus making his confession not as genuine. If you are pursuing someone as much as Bruno was to the point that he confesses love to that person, you don’t have back-ups like that. It makes his confession seem less genuine.

And yes, Kamala is being jealous and she hates that Bruno unintentionally made a scenario to make her jealous. Because if she had known about Mike instead of being blindsided like she was, then maybe she could have managed that moment on the rooftop better, but it feels like to her that Bruno just gave up and it drives her crazy to see it rubbed in her face.

In defense of Bruno, there is no set time when you are expected to get over someone that rejected you after confessing something. And maybe 6 months is too soon for Kamala, but if she had a problem with him being with anyone and needing to be told, then maybe she isn’t being honest with herself.

Also, sidenote to all writers of superheroines: this dialogue about a sub-plot is what you miss out on if you refuse to approach romance.

Anyways, It sucks to realize that you love someone and possibly took them for granted when you see them with someone else.

Oh and now your best friend who confessed his love for you is now having safe sex with another woman(implied).

Yeah, I’d be a little miffed too.

Since Kamala and Bruno are on break, I’m going to touch and go on their situation because at this point, Kamala’s popularity afforded her several appearances and a lot boys from outside her comic book did a double take.In summary, Kamala’s milkshake brought all the boys to the yard.

First is Miles Morales.

Let me just say that Sara Pichelli draws a gorgeous Kamala Khan. I mean she just makes beautiful teenaged girls in general for some reason. The boys are always ordinary looking, but the girls are always trendy or fashionable or bombshells if not all three.

Anyways, Miles has a definite crush on Kamala, but unlike Sam who I will get to later, he is mostly lowkey about it when they interact. He is also a very supportive friend of hers and honestly her and Kamala are like Peter Parker and Johnny Storm.What is weird about it is that there is no on-page formal first meeting between the two. So we never see when or why Miles revealed his identity to Ms. Marvel. I guess there was a miscommunication between Bendis and Waid and Wilson.

There isn’t much on page thoughts from Kamala about Miles as she mostly kept the air living up to be a hero she admires the most, Carol Danvers. Again, Karol is the model of typical Marvel heroine. As far as I’ve read, Carol doesn’t really have much in the way of romance compared to Spider-man who as @traincat​ would say, is a Himbo(yes, I am going to keep plugging her so you guys can follow her because she is the only Peter Parker expert that I respect). So her and Miles relationship is professional friendship. There was a time when Bruno mentioned something that implied Kamala gushes about a Spider-man’s abs, but that could be just jealousy and it never states which Spider-man he was talking about. All in all, she is not interested in Miles and Miles is interested in her, but respects her too much to act on it. Until Miles confuses an Infinity Stone for a mood stone and spills the beans to her.

Kamala doesn’t return the gesture and it is seen as a way to lightly put Miles down which is okay because he handles it like a champ.

Next is Sam Alexander aka Nova.

He is a little less tactful than Miles about his attraction to Kamala since he immediately hits on her upon first meeting.

Kamala of course thinks he is a brash idiot who shows-off too much.

Sam is persistent in their first meeting, but keeps on hitting the wrong marks and saying the wrong things at inappropriate times.

Sam pretty much can’t take a hint and eventually catches Ms. Marvel in the middle of changing costumes.

*insert the sound of an airplane falling and crashing*

So Kamala and Sam don’t initially like each other as initially, Kamala thought she was being mean to Sam unintentionally and Sam thought he was being idiot. They are both right in their own way, but in the end, Sam sees Kamala as an uptight do-gooder personality and Kamala sees Sam as a reckless jerk. Which has a lot to do with their powersets because Sam is not really meant to be doing street level crime or protection.

And finally we have Dante Pertuz aka Inferno. Now this is one time where Kamala’s interested in a guy and not the other way around or at least it is implied by a third party.

Over the course of Secret Warriors, Kamala and Dante interact and while nothing is initially made out of it, Dante and Quake hook up and Kamala appears to be jealous and annoyed that Dante likes Quake mainly because Kamala does not like Daisy Johnson.

Now we could take Daisy’s word for it, but again, she is kind of a jaded jerk so take it with a pinch of salt. Kamala also denies it.

Ms. Kamala not only shoots down her own ships, but she also bombs other people’s, sheesh.

Now that is done, let’s get back to the main attraction.

Kamala and Bruno and now Mike pretty much go back and forth. Bruno makes kissey faces at Mike, and Mike returns them while Kamala dies a little inside. Bruno is pretty much that guy from the meme who is with his girlfriend, but he keeps looking at the girl they pass and Mike is not a moron and knows that she is pretty much the Cyrano and is conscious of this fact. It hurts because Mike is actually a cool character and her and Kamala become good friends in spite of having the same romantic attraction to Bruno. While Bruno did care for Mike, he could not help but be jealous of the men Kamala encounters as Ms. Marvel such as Spider-man(not sure which). 

Point is that this entire comic is a delicious mess and should be read with the same intention as the audience of Dawson’s Creek.

Eventually, Kamala starts to realize that her idol has a huge authoritarian streak and implements her version of Hitler Youth to patrol Ms. Marvel’s turf. And I think this is a something we need to address in regards to Carol. Yes, she is good, but she is socially aware as a....white woman. No really, she does not stop to think as to why people of color would not be too for a system that arrests people because they are foreseen to commit a crime. It’s profiling or in this case assisting in racial profiling. I always found it weird that of all people, a Pakistani first generation born American would idolize her. But that had to do with Kamala’s own self-hatred than anything Carol was.It is like being a Mexican Trump Supporter.

Anyways, Kamala is reluctant, but she joins Carol’s little SS and starts putting people in detention camps. And people are pissed. People like Bruno are pissed.

So Bruno decided to break Josh, who was wrongfully detained on the suspicion of wanting to bomb a school. Kamala goes and tries to stop him from breaking in the detention center.

Well....

Shit.

This haunts Kamala. You see, Bruno and Kamala are close obviously, but for once, it was her ambivalence that nearly got him killed. She wants so desperately to be her own ideal hero that she completely neglected her own support system in pursuit of being accepted by Carol.People like to point to Kamala’s fandom in superheroes as a main characteristic, but neglect to mention that it was Bruno introducing her to the world superheroes that started it in the first place. It was Bruno who introduced her to Ms. Marvel. 

Bruno becomes paralyzed on his left side.I haven’t mentioned this, but Bruno is an inventor. He creates things and he is also left handed. So his dream was in jeopardy because he was willing to help Kamala out with her dream. So Kamala feels guilty as fuck.

Bruno decides to take a trip to Wakanda and get some schooling. Thus making Bruno the first white boy to be legally allowed to learn in Wakanda.

I’m as surprised as you are. I mean Wakanda gives a scholarship to some white boy in New Jersey, but rejects Lunella Lafayette. Ain’t that some shit?

So just to recap on this drama, Kamala turned down Bruno in favor of superheroism. Bruno got with Mike. Kamala becomes jealous, but Mike is cool so can’t bring herself to hate her. Bruno is jealous that Kamala is hanging out with superhero studs like Spider-man. Mike is just tired of being overlooked for an apparently nice girl. Bruno is annoyed that Kamala is siding with Carol’s harebrained George Orwell fanfiction idea over her friends and decides to break everyone out. He gets injured in the process and leaves New Jersey, but not before lashing out at Kamala for not appreciating him.

A fucking teenaged love story, I tell you.

And the only person happy is the gay one. tsk...

So the two are basically apart at this point. Bruno is on a no-speaking terms with Kamala and Kamala is respecting that. This cover pretty much sums it up.

Kamala took Bruno for granted and Bruno resents Kamala for taking for granted. And of course, it did bomb his relationship with Mike because he is resenting a relationship with a girl that is not currently his girlfriend. But with Bruno in Wakanda getting reverse affirmative action, that means Ms. Marvel is taking a break from romance, right?

Kamala’s milkshake be bringing boys from across the ocean.

Okay, this is Red Dagger aka Kareem. Kamala first met Kareem when she visited her cousins in Pakistan with and without costume. Get your head out of the gutter, they met eachother while they were in civillian identity and superhero alias without connecting the two. Lareem eventually moved to New Jersey because he studied abroad from which Kamala quickly deduced that his identity.

So the two have a team-up from which Kamala feels uneeded so she runsaway and  attends a private school without anyone, even her parents knowing(and people wonder why I felt that Wilson’s Ms. Marvel read like a Saturday Morning Cartoon). Eventually she comes out of it with absolutely no consequences for abandoning her superhero duty because she felt unneeeded and forcing her friends to fight crime in New Jersey in her stead. Whatever, Red Dagger feels bad for making Kamala feel unappreciated and...

This is nice.

That is right, Kamala, You get over your ex, by getting underneath another person. I mean, girl you bold. You went to your boy interest’s former place of employment and hangout spot, and made out on top of the roof. Extra thot points for making him watch another man’s tongue down your throat.

I’m kidding, but yeah, ackwarrrrrrd.

Of course, Bruno and Kamala talk about that situation and Kamala swears that it didn’t happen to spite him in spite of it happening on top of Circle Q. They eventually reconcile and get back on speaking terms and then...

Mike catches the pair holding hands. Actually not what it looks like. Kamala was helping Bruno up the stairs. So much drama. 

Kamala freaks out because she thinks she is a two timing thot because she out here kissing men and thotting and shit. So she runs to her Masjid in hopes to get some spiritual help for her crisis.

So Kamala has a confessional with a third party and surprisingly, he subverts the entire stereotype of Muslim religious patriarch.

He tells her that he laments not teaching young Muslim people in his Masjid to not know how to properly be themselves and not know how to deal with their feeling. He also laments not teaching their parents to not give stern warnings in place of recalling what is like to feel like you are in love for the first time thus giving kids an echo chamber because they don’t feel safe to talk to their parents about this for fear of admonishment.

He tells Kamala to be true to herself unleash the inner thot....I’m kidding.

He tells her to be true to herself and be real with Bruno.

I think this is the most important scene in Ms. Marvel because too many times, media has used the Muslim patriarch as this oppressive tool to admonish Islam as a faith.Is it sexist? Yeah. I can’t lie about that shit, but ultimately it is up to those women who practice it to reform it and modern male muslims tend to be more open to feminism especially if it doesn’t come from white feminism brand that loves to target those cultures.

Anyways, back to the drama, Mike and Bruno break up. Kamala and Red Dagger end things amicably. And now it is a rat race to see how long it takes for Kamala and Bruno to finally hook up because why not? If you have been reading up to this point, you know what is about to happen so I’m going to get straight to the point.

Nadia Van Dyne aka Wasp

Gender: Female

Orientation: Not interested in boys in the very least, but girls who like science....that is a jam so...sapiosexual lesbian

Potential Love interests: Amber

So Nadia Van Dyne is the daughter of Hank Pym who took after the last of Hank Pym’s abused ex-wife, Janet Van Dyne.You should all read the first two volumes of Unstoppable Wasp because Nadia in general was a welcome, wholesome surprise for me. Regardless, I am not just here to gush about Nadia, but explore her love interests, but to be honest, she doesn’t have any so this will be pure speculation and subtext until otherwise stated.

So what is different about Nadia is her disinterest in all things of the opposite sex and her interest in all things about science. She was raised in an Assassin/Scientist school where Nadia was trained to be a super scientist assassin along with other young people. She is a genius, but Nadia developed a love for science. When she was freed from the Red Room, Nadia kept her love for science and sought to make sure all girls like herself could be allowed to express their love for science without a glass ceiling. So she wanted to recruit a science girl gang of sorts.

You could make an argument that Nadia is ace and I wouldn’t argue against you. However, as you can see, it is easy to write off character interactions as that when in actuality they are underdeveloped. I think Nadia is a sapiosexual lesbian because her attraction directly correlates with how intelligent a person the person is. And she hates overly intelligent scientific men like Peter Parker and somewhat resents her abusive father as they kept a glass ceiling in the intelligencia of academic science that chased women out. However, any woman with a compelling interest in science immediately piques her interest. And sure, we could say that this attitude is fostered due to her mission statement of uplifting women of science and girl geniuses in the place of attraction towards said girls, but sometimes we forget that no matter how wholesome Nadia is, she is still a teenager.

This Amber and I’d say that this was the first and only time Nadia exhibited an actual crush on somebody.And sure, Nadia’s innocence could be taken to mean that she was just being her normal bubbly self, I want to take note that she really didn’t ask about Amber’s scientific prowess. She complimented her looks first and then her tattoos and then she saw the Teleforce Tattoo. 

But just like the others on this list, Amber could not just be a normal girl. Nope, she had to be a supervillain.

I am just pointing out a pattern. Boys need their love interests to be non-superpowered and not necessarily the physical equal. Girls have to have their romantic counterparts be just as physically capable as them.

Amber aka Seeker becomes a rival to Nadia until they realized that they aren’t necessarily enemies of each other as the real threat was an Ultron merged Hank Pym who wants to take over the world or whatever does Ultron want to do anymore. Who knows?

So Seeker and her AIM Anti-Ultron think tank joined Nadia’s GIRL. And we never knew what happened between her and Nadia.

Riri Williams aka Ironheart

Gender: Female

Orientation: ?

Love Interests: Xavier King, Viv Vision

Okay, Riri is a bit complicated because her story goes as this: 

Girl goes to school.

Girl becomes bored with school.

Girl starts acting out because she is bored with school.

Girl gets tested and it is revealed that she is a super genius.

Parents of girl freak out because they realized that by boring her, they could have made the next super-villainess.

Girl is then handled with care to ensure that she is not alone all of the time thinking about her inventions and struggles to make human connections because she is smarter than everybody in her neighborhood.

Girl meets another girl who becomes her best friend.

Girl’s best friend and her super nice step dad die in a drive-bye shooting.

Girl decides to close herself off again and be stuck working on her inventions.

So it makes sense that Riri has problems making connections with people. Or Bendis didn’t really bother to give the girl a romantic interest so he hastily came up with one. Xavier King.

Xavier King didn’t get much characterization until Eve Ewing took over and he went from boy that Riri Williams might have fancied to being Riri Williams’ Ron Stoppable to her Kim Possible.

She is the hypercompetent woman and she is pretty much the silly sidekick. I can’t say that the two are dating or romantically inclined, but I can say that I love their friendship

Xavier doesn’t necessarily become a boyfriend. He has a better role: he is her best friend.

He makes her laugh and most importantly, she feel comfortable around him. Which leads us to someone who isn’t as warm....physically....or is she? What is the temperature of synthezoids?

When Riri joined the Champions, her communication skills continued to be sorely lacking. She kind of kept to herself and really only got along with Nadia, Amadeus, and Viv Vision. Just to be clear, she only got along with the geniuses as Miles was too friendly and somewhat got on her nerves. Kamala simply avoided Riri and gave her space and everyone else except for Miles apparently followed suit.  Viv on the other hand doesn’t quite have a grasp on social cues yet.

And the two socially awkward girls connect. Riri and Viv get along quite well. The girls didn’t really advance their friendship until Riri did something monumentally stupid: she tried to take on Thanos.

So after that humiliating shitkicking, Riri pretty much developed PTSD and our favorite synthezoid decided to check on her teammate.

And Viv consoled Riri and the two decide to make Riri a new Iron Man armor.

The end result.

Girls don’t want flowers. They want cool power armor.

Viv and Riri sort of connect more with Viv letting her pet synthezoid hang our with Riri and Riri being the most open to her. And Viv read too much into this cordial relationship between her and Riri...and well...

now I’d like to point out that this isn’t because Riri doesn’t swing that way. On the contrary, it isn’t the gender that Riri had a problem with in regards to Viv. It is the invasion of space that turned Riri off. You have to ask Eve Ewing and Jim Zub, but Riri never explicitly stated that it was orientation incapability that turned her away from Viv. It was because Viv made her feel uncomfortable.

And Viv’s unawareness as to why exactly kissing Riri was distressing to Riri didn’t help.

And this is why Riri actively stayed away from Champions’ related activities for the majority of the run. Viv made her uncomfortable and Riri decided to keep her distancing while still reaching out to Kamala and Nadia.Later Riri was mind controlled by Blackheart who brewed those fears and emotions towards Viv and made those insecurities toxic and violent. So under his manipulation, Riri knocked out Viv and the rest of the Champions.

Riri went for the killing blow, but Viv 2.0(long story) rebooted and took over for the then comatose Viv. 

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!

Viv rounds up the remaining Champions and Blackheart mind controls the Champions that Riri took out. There was a final battle and Viv eventually took control of her own body and finally confessed to Riri and apologized.

So after the battle between the Champions and Blackheart, Riri and Viv have a heart-to-heart.

So this is all for part 1 for now. It took forever. I may do some updates on characters because it is a growing and developing story for characters. But this is mainly for Marvel. I don’t know if I want to tread the minefield that is DC love interests because that shit is crazy. I also have been trying to figure out wht to do with inner team romances like X-Men, Inhumans, Avengers Academy, Runaways, and etc. So those Nico and Karolina fans, I am aware of y’all and I didn’t forget. It is just that this takes time. Be patient.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day.

@ubernegro​

[thedistantstorm]

Project Compass: 01

Read along on AO3 here.

Summary:  Thrawn brings Ezra Bridger back to the Ascendancy and finds himself in a role that brings everything full circle. Now the attaché to the only Human Skywalker in the Ascendancy, Thrawn has to adapt to his new role while trying to figure out why his new commanding officer, former aide-de-camp, and long time friend Eli Vanto will not speak to him.

Pairing: Thrawn | Mitth’raw’nuruodo / Eli Vanto

(A multi-chapter story without a concrete update schedule. This is a side project I really wanted to start sharing.)

>> Next Chapter >>

The courtyard was beautiful in an ethereal way. The plants were like ice, almost, crystalline and fragile-seeming. Ezra had been instructed not to touch them, so he refrained. It was tempting, though.

The cross breeze caught him by surprise, though. He shivered. The interior of the building was supposedly warm by Chiss standards, or so he'd been told. To Ezra, it even seemed comfortable now, compared to the outside.

Not far from him, inspecting the scrolling face of a frost-colored tree, stood Thrawn. "They are treating you well?" He asked without turning to face the younger Jedi.

"Well enough," Ezra shrugged.

He'd spent the last five days being interrogated by miscellaneous Chiss officers. They were polite, though he could tell they weren't entirely thrilled about a human in their midst. They were exceedingly interested in the extent of his abilities as a Jedi, though, and each person who had spoken to him had been accompanied by a young girl - a different one, each time - who Ezra could feel within the living Force.

As for Thrawn, he had acted as Ezra's translator upon their initial arrival. Not long after, they'd been separated. Apparently Thrawn was to be debriefed while he was subjected to questioning. The Chiss, to their credit, hadn't treated Ezra like a prisoner so far, but he wasn't stupid. This was the Unknown Regions. He had no idea where he was or where to go even if he did manage to get his hands on a ship. Hyperspace lanes didn't exist out here. He couldn't just plug in coordinates for Lothal and go home...

Besides: Thrawn had asked him to consider helping the Chiss. Thrawn, Ezra marveled, who never asked his enemies for anything. Though, they hadn't killed each other, despite everything leading to their arrival… wherever this was, exactly. In fact, Ezra got the feeling that Thrawn might respect him. Just a little. And even if he didn't, it didn't mean every Chiss had to answer for his transgressions. So, Ezra agreed to hear them out. He hadn't agreed to the lengthy interrogation, but supposed he should have expected as much.

"The language barrier has not been too difficult to navigate?"

"I mean, they probably would do better with a translator," He supposed. For sake of keeping things civil, Ezra let his snide remark about how he wouldn't trust Thrawn to translate for him anyway dissipate on his tongue. "I think they understood most of what I said."

Thrawn nodded, but said nothing else.

The wind picked up again. He pulled his jacket - made of an unknown, thin black material that seemed sturdy but didn't do much against the cold - tighter around himself.

"How do you people - er, the Chiss," Ezra corrected, "Deal with this?" He asked, doing his best not to tremble. "It's freezing out here."

There was no sound but the wind for a while. It figured that Thrawn would stop answering once it suited him, but then again, he didn't have to. Someone else did.

"Didn't do a very good job of warnin' me about it either," They said. Their Basic was accentuated, but not like the Chiss. It sounded familiar. The tone was inviting, as if the speaker were smiling as he elaborated, "The cold."

Ezra didn't turn around just yet. He reached out with the Force, trying to anticipate if this was some kind of test. He flinched in surprise, suddenly realizing that the man behind him wasn't Chiss at all! He wasn't even Force sensitive. Ezra couldn't believe it, having to whirl around to see it with his own two eyes.

"You're… human?!"

The man laughed. It was warm. It reminded Ezra of sunshine. "I am," He said, and the Wild Space twang seemed so much more pronounced now that Ezra had a face to match against the sound.

Ezra inspected the man who stood across the small courtyard in one of the arching entryways. The man was older than him. His hair was the color of Lothalian sand, dark brown with the faintest glint of lighter pieces, blonde and tan. There might have been some hints of gray in there, but not in any real pattern. His eyes crinkled at the outer corners, just a little. Based on that, he presumed the man to be at least twice his age, somewhere between late thirties to mid forties.

More than that, he felt something shift beside him in the Force. The man didn't even look at Thrawn, though, so the strange lurch, like a dissonant chord plucked on a harp, made little sense. Nothing had happened. Thrawn hadn’t so much as moved, and the newcomer’s gaze was intently resting on Ezra. "If you can believe it, it's almost the end of spring.” Apologetically, he continued, “Though, it's not much warmer here in the summer."

The young Jedi resisted pulling a face, instead looking to Thrawn. Thrawn, who was now staring at the older human so intensely that Ezra thought for a moment he might be in shock. Still no eye contact though, the guy seemed content to ignore him. Snidely, Ezra felt a perverse pleasure at that. The man had an easy confidence about him from his bright brown eyes and a comfortable posture in his all black uniform. He looked at home here, though this could hardly be his homeworld.

"So are you the next one to question me?" Ezra asked. Thrawn finally peeled his stare from the other man to regard him with no shortage of unimpressed and well contained distaste. Whatever uneasy feeling - Ezra couldn’t believe that it was the Force reacting to Thrawn, the man was always stone faced and in control even when his life was in jeopardy - had passed.

"No, that won't be necessary. I was asked to walk you both back to the meeting room. I believe they've decided what to do with you."

-/

The panel was made up of a well rounded group. Military officers, a syndic from one of the more prominent ruling families, even someone who appears to be some sort of clinician. At the center sat Ar'alani, her lips pressed thin and her expression somber.

For them, it could mean anything. Thrawn does not expect bad news, he had not gotten the sense that they were particularly angry. Wary, perhaps. The door remained open a moment longer than necessary, making him wonder if Vanto's lingering would break the silence, his commanding officer issuing a sharp reprimand.

It did not. Small, near silent footsteps became audible as a young girl - a Navigator, he suspected by her age and uniform - stepped in and moved to stand beside Ezra Bridger, seated to his left. The door closed behind them and there was no further sound to indicate that Vanto lingered behind them, permitted to listen. He must have slipped out as the solemn young woman entered.

The seat beside Ar'alani - to her left and his right - remained empty, yet the navigator did not move from her location next to Ezra.

“I will translate for you, Ezra Bridger,” The girl said in softly accented but obviously fluent Basic.

Ezra’s shoulders rose sharply and he turned his eyes to the young Chiss. “You? But during the-”

Ar’alani called them to order, interrupting the young Jedi with the raise of her hand, palm out. “We do not… lay our cards out all at once,” She also spoke in Basic, though it was far more accent-laiden. She looked over Thrawn’s head at the door for a moment with purpose. Switching to Cheunh, her voice becomes more refined, elegant and sharp with the expectation of being listened to. Ezra sneaked a look at Thrawn. He was coiled tightly in anticipation, very obviously preparing to realign whatever his plans were with what the panel had decided.

“This panel has come to a decision regarding what to do with you, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, as well as the Human Skywalker, Ezra Bridger.” The Navigator speaks softly to Ezra, her voice a gentle chime, almost an echo. Thrawn could only make out his posture from the corner of his eye, but the young Human was rigid and at attention. Despite what his translator said to him, his eyes were trained on the Chiss Admiral as she spoke. “It was not an easy deliberation. Your actions under the employ Empire are…” She trailed off. “Concerning.”

Thrawn does not interrupt, but the question must burn in his eyes.

The Chiss woman narrowed her bright red eyes. “We recognize that it is not easy to navigate serving both sides,” She said, considering. “There are expectations that must be met. However,” Her eyes cut to Ezra. He does not shy from it, meeting her head on. “You ordered an assault on civilians, not to mention what your Emperor requested for you to do to the Skywalker...” She looked up toward the door again. Ezra followed her gaze, confusion written into his face, but whatever he saw did not draw a reaction. “It is one of the highest crimes. For all that you have questioned in your service to the Empire, all that you have undermined in what you’ve sworn was your dedication to the greater good,” She frowned. “That you would be capable of this-”

“You take him at his word?”

Ezra’s face is blank, and he does not argue. Perhaps it is because of the young woman speaking softly into his ear in Basic, but perhaps it is because he knows something Thrawn does not.

“I did not need his word,” Ar’alani admitted. “You have spoken for yourself. Any incrimination is your own.”

“I have spoken nothing but the truth.”

“And so has the Skywalker.” She leaned forward ever so slightly, addressing Thrawn directly. “What do you think of your actions, Mitth’raw’nuruodo? Do you believe them to bring honor to the Ascendancy?”

He does not speak, even when the rest of the room waits for him to answer.

Ar’alani seemed to look past him, appraising and cool. “You are not a fool. There could have been another way.”

“Not to stop the alternative project being developed by the Empire.”

“Your mission,” Ar’alani snapped, “Was not to save the Galactic Empire from its Emperor’s wiles, just as it was not act as an accomplice to their utter destruction of the remaining Jedi. Your mission was to determine if the Galactic Empire was strong enough to be our allies in the wars to come.”

“It is not,” Thrawn said.

“We are aware,” She replied tersely. “And so remains what to do with you.” She steepled her fingers in front of her, elbows on the dark table. “Do you have an opinion of that?”

“I am a warrior,” Thrawn answered. “First and foremost, as I had hoped to have demonstrated,” It’s as much of a defense as he allowed himself, “I serve the Ascendency above all else. My service to the Galactic Empire was meant to help cultivate meaningful relations in the future with a secure government. I carried out the orders I was assigned to that end.”

“The Emperor did not ask you to fire on the innocent beings of Lothal.”

“The Emperor implored me to do whatever it took, as I have said.” His words remain measured and careful, even weight distributed throughout.

The Navigator’s puzzlement stole over her face halfway through her words. “The Emperor-” She looked to the door behind both men. “Tacahn?”

“'Implored,'” Came the reply in a steely Wild Space lilt.

Thrawn flinched microscopically. Eyes were drawn to him like predators scenting blood. All except Ezra, whose gaze shifted from surprise to very obvious concern.

“Ivant,” Ar’alani motioned to the chair beside her as if bored. “If you would.”

His footsteps are even and militaristic. His shoulders are back, posture strong and unyielding. He does not look infuriated or angry, there is no facial heat, no obvious tells. He is completely impassive and that might be what is the most frightening part.

To the human, the Admiral asked, “Would you have obeyed him if he gave you this order?”

“He knows I would not,” Ivant said, meeting Thrawn’s gaze for the first time in a very, very long while. His eyes are hard.

“This council has considered many arrangements,” Ar’alani said. There is a chance Thrawn does not hear her until the human officer dips his head to remind the Navigator to translate when she takes too long. “No being would take orders from a being who does not show his dedication to the Ascendency’s best interests.” She rose from her seat, looming above the former Grand Admiral, “Which is why you will not be in command. This council demands that you assist the Human Skywalker Ezra Bridger to assimilate into the Assendency’s ranks as he has agreed to remain with us at this juncture. You will teach him our language and translate for him until he displays mastery, and correct any other deficiencies identified. You will share in his successes and in his failures, and be responsible for them as if he is an extension of your own being.”

Thrawn does not react. His words betray no emotion. “Am I correct to assume this task will continue indefinitely?”

“A smaller committee will convene at regular intervals to discuss your progress. Ezra Bridger.” Her next words are in Basic, “You will report to Captain Ivant of the Warship Compass.” Ar’alani nodded and Ivant rose, earning Thrawn’s attention the entire way. “The Skywalkers have been looking forward to meeting you.”

“We believe,” Ivant spoke evenly, in a command tone that had the warmth behind it his eyes lacked, “That you will be of great help to our Skywalker Program.”

“You may go, Jedi Bridger” Ar’alani said, dismissing him. “There is one other item that we must address with Mitth’raw’nuruodo.”

“Come,” The Navigator motions for him to rise so Ezra does. “You will collect your things and I will take you to the shuttle.”

Ezra regarded the committee. “Shouldn’t my…” He struggled to parse the right designation, “My attaché stay with me?”

The Navigator translated, struggling similarly with the term. Ivant corrected her kindly, taking over. His reply came, once again, in Basic. “If you do not trust the Navigator, I will accompany you myself.”

“No,” Ezra said, holding up both hands. “I just-”

“You need not worry about me,” Thrawn interjected tersely.

“You’re kind of making that difficult,” Ezra murmured back. “You’re acting strangely, even for you.”

“Navigator Un’hee,” Ivant said, switching back to Cheunh and ignoring whatever exchange was occurring between Ezra and Thrawn. “Please retrieve Syndic Mitth’ras’safis. Give him my regards as well as my apologies that I will not be able to retrieve him personally.”

“Yes sir,” The Navigator snapped to attention, quick to follow orders.

“Bridger,” Ivant cast his gaze from the Jedi to the door closing silently behind the Navigator. “With me.”

“You could ask to be dismissed, Captain.”

“You’d prefer me to be long gone before Thrass arrives,” Ivant said. No one bothered to contest it. “This is enough of a farce already.”

“So it is,” Ar’alani supposed. “Go.”

He inclined his head to her respectfully, stepping around the rest of the silent council.

“Admiral.”

She did not smile, but it is apparent that his actions met with her approval. "Captain."

Ezra looked to Thrawn one last time. “You’re sure.”

“Listen to your commanding officer,” Thrawn instructed. Whatever Ezra was apparently reading off him through the Force must conflict with his words, forcing the Chiss to continue. “Apparently I am to meet with my brother.”

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: We Made It All Up

This morning, I went grocery shopping. I was all out of bread; even when I’m not packing lunches, sandwiches are my go-to midday meal.

Aldi had pretty much everything you could want today, as long as you were looking for food and not toilet paper. It also had signs taped on the walls and on the floor near the registers, advising people to stand six feet apart. These blue signs had little figures on them, like you’d see on a restroom sign, with a helpful “6ft” arrow between them.

But what did six feet mean, really?

I am five foot eight, give or take a fraction of an inch. It’s not quite six feet, but it’s close, and I soon caught myself thinking about the space around me in terms of whether I could lie down on the ground between me and the man who’d parked his cart in front of the deli meat. A Sophie is now a unit of measurement for social distancing. Though a more useful unit would be an Elie – my brother, who is actually over six feet tall.

When I was little, I read a picture book which explained that we call this unit of measurement a “foot” because in the old days, whoever was king at the time would decree that his foot length was the kingdom’s official unit of length measurement. So, whenever there was a new king, the “foot” was redefined. Everyone just had to be flexible and go along with it.

What I found interesting about this story as a child was the revelation that there was nothing inherent about the “foot” unit itself. We might as well have drawn a line on the ground and said “stop” at an arbitrary point – and we probably did, in the end, now that we aren’t measuring our leaders’ feet as a construction standard. We could have decided to divide the foot into any number of inches, as well. But we chose twelve, and we all agreed, and continue to agree, to use it, though other countries support the equally arbitrary meter.

I think we forget sometimes that we invented the foot, and the inch, and pretty much everything else we use to understand the world and interact in it.

In college I learned that it costs two cents to create a penny, which is worth one cent of purchasing power. I realized then that, like the foot and the inch, there is nothing inherent about money at all. We made it up.

We’ve all agreed that this little silver coin means this amount of money, and this other little silver coin means a different amount of money. And we’ve all agreed that this specific product is worth this amount of money, and we agree that that “worth” can change from time to time.

And now – because of convenience, because of how much we buy, because physical coins transmit disease – we are more likely to use a number on a computer as money, instead of anything actually physical. Money exists more as an idea, a concept, than as a thing. Money is a form of playing make-believe which is socially sanctioned – required, even – for adults to participate in. When I hear people on the news talking about the economy, how we need to make sacrifices for the economy, how if we don’t get people working and buying and spending again like we always have (even though we currently are unable to) then the economy will collapse, it confuses me.

Has everyone forgotten that we made up the economy? Why are we talking about it like an inherent, immutable, unchangeable force of nature?

A few months back, I overheard one of my coworkers at the Disney parks having a bit of an existential crisis. She had seen a small child running up to his mother after the boat ride, shouting, “That was beautiful!” And it had occurred to her that the child didn’t really know what “beautiful” was. He was just saying what he had overheard the adults around him say. He was just making noises.

Where, she wondered, did meaning come from? Did words truly mean anything? Did anything truly mean anything or was it all made up?

She’s right – words are just noises. We have all agreed that this sound means this thing. And in different parts of the world, people looked at the same things and came up with different sounds to agree upon. There is nothing inherent about language, and it occurred to me for the hundredth time, that this is all made up.

But it still matters.

When we talk about things that were “made up,” there’s a connotation that the thing doesn’t matter. Things that are real, true, concrete, inherent matter. You can draw people into theatres by calling a film “based on a true story,” even if the only part of it that’s remotely “true” is the main character’s name. (As if all stories, all fiction, is not somehow based on reality.)

There’s a dog which uses a soundboard to communicate with her owner. You can find videos on Instagram on the account hunger4words. This dog has been taught since puppyhood that this sound, on this button, means this thing.

One of the buttons on the dog’s board is for “beach.” It’s clearly one of her favorite buttons to press – what dog doesn’t like the beach? One day, the button broke, and the owners took it off the board. Later they posted a video of the dog sniffing at the spot where the “beach” button used to be. Then the dog moved across the board, pressing the buttons for “water” and “outside.”

Sometimes people comment on these videos referring to this as miraculous, ascribing a level of human cognition to the dog. Others call bullshit and say that the dog has no idea what words are, and this is just mimicry or coincidence.

I don’t claim to know how self-aware this animal is, whether or not she understands the concept of a word. But she is obviously communicating. Where other dogs would bark to get what they want, this dog has been taught that she gets what she wants when she presses a specific button, making a specific sound.

This dog and her owner have agreed that this sound – “beach” – means this thing – “let’s go outside to that place with the water.” Another dog and her owner might agree that this specific bark means “let’s go outside.” It’s the same thing. It’s all made up, and it matters.

There’s nothing inherent about words or language. What is inherent is the basic drive to communicate, to create symbolic meaning so that we can understand each other and work together as a society. The fact that we make all this up matters! The fact that we put these symbols and systems to use matters!

And maybe if we recognize that we did make all this up – money and words and the way we measure the world – then maybe we can free ourselves up to re-make it up, to change things in ways that help more people improve their lives, rather than feeling enslaved to the way things have “always” been.

[lonelypond]

Tiger By The Tail, Ch. 3

NicoMaki, NozoEli, RinPana, KotoUmi, Love Live, 2K, 3/?

Summary: The plan to distract Nico begins...and our last Japanese tourist arrives.

Chapter Three

Nozomi read the email again. It sounded like Umi, polite, formal, composed, requesting Nozomi do some research on local possibilities for photo shoots, which Nozomi was planning anyway, until the last line, which read, “Please refrain from discussing this with Nico as I do not wish to undermine her confidence in Kotori’s designs” which if you had made a study of Umi’s habits, sounded like panic. Rin bounced behind Nozomi, shaking her head, drops of water flicking Nozomi, “What are we doing, boss?”

Nozomi considered how much to tell Rin, who was very very bad at not blurting out the very thing anyone was trying to keep out of the conversation. Just keep Rin focused on task, so that she didn’t give anything away to Nico, who was ALWAYS looking for what was going to go wrong.

“We’re going to drive around and check out locations, then I’ll meet Eli for dinner and see what she has to suggest.”

“Ooohh, Eli seems really cool. I bet she’ll have some great ideas for us.” Rin’s eyes gleamed. Nozomi was almost certain Eli had meant a private discussion but Nozomi couldn’t strand Rin; maybe Nico would want dinner company?

“Let’s head out and tell Nico what the plan is.” Nozomi tucked her phone away, response to Umi sent.

Rin saluted, grabbing a sweater from the top bunk, “You got it.”

###

Nico, under a stack of blankets, was scrolling through a playlist on the screen in the living room, frowning. “Nico should be on here.” She switched to search function, pulling up her latest video, watching it again, with a critical eye. They definitely needed a better lighting set up. Nozomi had talked about renting gear.

“Nico meets her biggest fan every morning in the mirror.” Nozomi pulled on the top blanket, as she leaned over the couch, to grab for the remote. Nico’s viewing choice was no surprise. It was barely worth the tease, but Nozomi was on task.

“If Nico doesn’t like it…” Nico began.

“No one will ever see it.” Rin interjected, batting an ornament on the Christmas tree to watch it spin. “But this cover’s great Nico. Why are you frowning at it?”

Before Nico could answer the front door banged open and Honoka came barrelling through the hall, hung a turn at the kitchen and nearly fell over the back of the couch Nico was sitting on.

“Nico!” Shouted. As if Nico weren’t two cushions away. “Umi says you have to come now. Kotori needs you to try on the clothes. Since there wasn’t a fitting.” Honoka bobbed up and down, arms on the couch, Nico staring at her. “It’s important.”

Nico huffed and turned off the screen, her English curt. “Nico might be busy.”

“But you’re not.” Nozomi poked Nico.

“And you’re here for the clothes, right. So they have to fit.” Honoka’s bright eyes were so wide and innocent that not even Nico could find a spark to start an argument.

Enjoying the stares of everyone in the room while she decided, Nico took a minute before levering herself off the couch. “Yes.”

“Yippee!!” More shouting. “I’ll text Umi we’re coming now.” Honoka jumped, pumping a fist. Nico instinctively went into cautious older sibling mode, not quite frowning, but squelching Honoka’s exuberance with delay.

“Nico needs clothes.” Nico was not meeting Umi’s stylish friend the designer for the first time in leggings and a sweatshirt. She had acquired a designer outfit specifically for this situation, so Kotori would know she was dealing with a real professional. “Nico will go soon.”

“Cool.” Honoka pulled out her phone, typing rapidly.

Nozomi and Rin had their coats on, “We’ll see you later, Nico.”

Nico flashed her signature gesture, “Nico Ni will knock you out.”

Honoka was ignoring the Japanese, continuing her text conversation with Umi, Nico guessed. Umi would be a proper audience. She never let Nico down.

###

Shut out everything else, Maki told herself as she locked the door behind her and approached the piano. A certain amount of ritual was involved in this moment, not quite approaching an altar or a lover levels of depth, but a gathering of emotions, a tension, a familiarity as Maki sat on the bench, rested a hand for a moment on the polished, warming wood of the fallboard, revealing the keys, the cool welcome against her fingertips, the demand for effort, for excellence, for passion...Maki leaned back, maybe a little more like a lover than a shrine, not that she’d had much experience with either. But the piano was a means, an ally, a key to a language that actually allowed Maki the freedom to express everything that bottled up in her throat and chest. Maybe her mouth wasn’t made for expressing the turmoil twisting itself out of expectation and others, but with her fingers, her arms, her body, she could shout for space, for, ironically, a moment of quiet, to just settle enough to know what it was she wanted. She wondered what it would be like to...Maki didn’t even know the words for it, it was an action, a feeling, a slam, a collision, into something that held, that would let her just be.

Maki didn’t know what she was playing, she had no space to listen, everything was being driven into the piano, to transform into the pieces of Maki that kept spinning away. Was there anyone here to listen, to hear?

###

The clothes were impressive. Just the pictures had gotten Nico on a plane, flying across a huge ocean. Umi had impeccable taste so Nico knew when Umi pitched the project it would be something spectacular. Nico had also not been unaware of Umi’s gloom since the very kind and decorative Kotori Minami had ended her internship at the atelier and returned home. Now, while Nico herself was an independent modern career woman, she didn’t fault anyone who managed to find someone to get sentimental about. Yes, she totally judged Tojo, who seemed to have mastered the casual weekend relationship. Nico would not have flown across an ocean if Nozomi had pitched the project. But for Umi, Nico shrugged, and smiled at Kotori, who was a whisper of steel and grace, answering all of Nico’s questions without hesitation. Nico couldn’t put the pieces down, the textures, the lightness, the way the light caught additional colors, none of that had been in the sketches and all of it was magical. Nico found herself getting excited as she imagined the photos, the camera turning her natural charisma up by 1000 when wrapped in these beautiful slices of artistry.

“Yazawa-san…” Kotori started.

“Nico.” Nico waved an invitation to intimacy as she put down a white blanket robe that seemed to contain in its threads the silver glimmer magic of first snow at midnight. Kotori was finishing that piece, she’d wanted to see it on Nico so that the painted on kanji could be placed in the proper locations. Umi had been confirming the order of strokes, offering to do the calligraphy herself, but Kotori seemed reluctant to put that responsibility on the other woman. Nico wondered if the seamstress realized how seriously Umi took the samurai’s mastery of both sword and brush.

Kotori reached for her chalk, “Nico...thank you, now that I’ve seen this, I can mark the locations.”

“Once again, Kotori, if you want me to, I would be more than happy…” Umi stepped forward.

“Oh, I couldn’t…” Kotori shrugged, demurring, “this is all of this fabric I have, any mistake...you’re very sweet, but...”

Nico couldn’t take the look on Umi’s face, like the damsel in distress had turned down the rescue and was slowly freezing in the ice tower. She coughed, drawing the focus back to Nico, “Maybe Umi could demonstrate her talents on another fabric, similar in texture.” Nico bowed, “Nico will cover the costs. For an original Sonoda.”

Umi blushed, Nico raised a hand to cover her own mouth, pretending modesty, but actually covering a broad grin at Umi’s embarrassment.

“Oh…” Kotori glanced from one to the other, giggling, “I’m sure Umi’s talents are more than up to the job, I just thought…”

Nico gave in and laughed at her friend’s grand gestures as Umi bowed, “I will not disappoint either of you.”

Now see, if there had been someone like Umi, serious and stunning and silly and too easy to tease, in Nico’s life, interested in more than friendship, the rising pop star might have made a little time for something that wasn’t her career.

###

Eli was surprised to find she had not a family standing in her office, but one client, a small, mousy, bundled up in layers woman by the name of Koizumi Hanayo, visiting New England with her parents, who had stayed in Boston. Eli had a good reputation among Japanese tourists, but solitary guests were unusual. Groups of co workers were more common. Not that Eli would let this throw her off stride. . “Hi, I’m Eli Ayase. Nice to meet you.” Eli offered a hand, Hanayo shaking it timidly while muttering something Eli couldn’t quite make out.

“Sorry,” Eli leaned down, “I couldn’t hear you.”

Hanayo leapt back, the earflaps on her hat a comedy short of their own, “Sorry.”

“Please take a seat.” Eli indicated the chair opposite hers and sat behind the computer, “Do you downhill or cross country ski?”

Another mutter.

Eli smiled broader, her voice encouraging. “You’ll have to speak up. I’m sorry.”

The young woman took a huge breath, her hands clasped in her lap, raised her head, blinking eyelashes over shy violet eyes, her Japanese rapid, “Neither, Ayase-san. I’m sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Eli slouched a little, shoulders opening, trying every body language trick she could think of to be less intimidating. “Most of my clients just...already like the outdoors.”

Hanayo shook her head, “My parents hired you. They are worried that I’m…” Hanayo fidgeted, “neet.”

Eli was confused, “They think you’re too tidy?”

Hanayo sighed, “Do you know what otaku means?”

Eli typed it into her computer. “You’re an anime fan?”

“Idol.”

“Idol?”

“Singers. Pop stars.”

“Oh.” Eli had heard of that. “Like Babymetal?”

Hanayo’s eyes went wide as she squeaked, “You know them? Aren’t they amazing. I just love…”

“I’m not a huge fan.” Glad that she had finally gotten a reaction out of her charge, Eli didn’t want the young woman to slip back into embarrassment, “but my friends were talking about their last North American tour.” Eli turned away from her computer, “So your parents sent you here for some healthy outdoor activities. And hired me for the parts of the week I had available.”

Hanayo nodded, “They have business in Boston. They didn’t want to leave me in Japan alone over the holidays.”

“Where are you staying?”

“Hotel.”

“I have a friend with a B and B, maybe they’ll have a room. There’s a friendly group from Japan there right now.”

“Really?” Hanayo looked interested.

“Cute girls too.” Eli winked, expecting Hanayo to blush or be flustered...but her client had just leaned forward, a spark behind her glasses.

“And they might have a room?”

“I’ll have to ask Honoka. They might be booked. It’s…” Eli frowned, trying to remember the name of Nozomi’s client, she’d looked her up, “Yazawa Nico.”

“NICO NI!” Hanayo was on her feet instantly, shoving Eli’s desk back, demonstrating unexpected and impressive lung capacity, “NICO NI is here? I have to meet her.” Hanayo started for the door.

“Slow down.” Eli was on her feet, hand out, “First we have to find a winter sport for you. Your parents requested pictures. I can’t afford a refund.”

“Oh.” Hanayo collapsed in her chair.

“But after that, I’m meeting Nozomi and if you don’t have any plans, you can come along.” Eli suspected that even if Hanayo had already made plans, they would be quickly cancelled.

With a great deal of effort to not throw herself at Eli or the door, Hanayo spoke in a more normal tone. “Thank you, Ayase-san.”

“Just call me Eli,” Eli grinned, and pulled up her contact list, “Now what do you think about ice skating?”

[ryqoshay]

How to Handle a Nico - Even Under a Love Curse, There’s No Way I Would Be Like This

Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Words: ~1.5k Rating: T Time Frame: Maki is in med school. Nico is working as an idol producer. They are living together as a couple, but not married yet. Story Arc: Stand Alone

Author’s Note: I must thank VNVdarkangel for help in giving a title to this chapter; I was honestly stumped. But this title gives it un certain anime’esque je ne sais quoi, if you will.

“Manga?” Maki asked, glancing over at the tablet her girlfriend was holding. “Haven’t seen you read that kind of stuff in a while.”

“Doujin.” Nico corrected, swiping to advance the page.

“Same difference?”

“In art style, sure, but not in publication.”

“Hrm… Hey, that girl looks like… me?”

Nico giggled.

“And why is she… What the heck?”

Nico laughed heartily.

“I don’t get it.”

“It’s my doujin, Maki-chan.”

“You drew a doujin?”

“Well, no, I actually commissioned it.” Nico amended. “And this is really just a proof of concept, not her finished product.”

“Her?”

“The artist I commissioned. She’s a former school idol, which is how I came across her work.” Nico explained. “One of her friends from that group works with Egao now.”

“Hrm…”

“She’s been drawing her own doujin for a little while now but hit a snag and decided to take a small hiatus. During that time, she opened commissions and I liked her work, so I got one. Uhm…” She scrolled through a folder. “Here it is.”

“You had her draw us from one of our old photoshoots?”

“Uh huh. Cute, isn’t it?” Nico grinned. “Brings back memories.”

“Yeah…” Maki studied the drawing on display. “I remember liking that set.”

“Anyway, the picture gave me some ideas, so I reached out to her again and asked if she’d be willing to work a bigger project.” Nico switched back to the doujin. “And this is what we came up with. Wanna read it?”

“Sure.” Maki accepted the tablet. It felt odd reading a story about a fanciful version of herself, but the artwork immediately pulled her in. “What the heck? ‘How to Handle a Maki’? I don’t get it. What kind of title is that?”

“A fitting one. Nico is left trying to figure out how to deal with Maki’s curse, after all.”

“Curse?”

“Sorry, spoilers…” Nico held up her hands apologetically.

Maki pursed her lips. For some reason, the name bugged her more than it probably should. Perhaps it was because it sounded familiar? But why would it be familiar? Odd…

“And Nozomi is in this too?” She asked after a few pages.

“Yup.” Nico confirmed. “And Eli. And Kotori. Umi, Rin and Hanayo have only been mentioned in name thus far, but they’ll probably appear later. I forget what her girlfriend had planned for Honoka.”

“Girlfriend?”

“The artist’s girlfriend is really into fantasy games and whatnot. She’s been a big help in coming up with ideas for worldbuilding, character design and plot points. There are a couple Easter egg jokes and references to gaming that were her suggestions.”

“I see.” Maki continued to read. “Wait, do I still think you’re younger than me?”

“Maybe?” Nico shrugged. “Not really sure how to take care of that just yet. Maybe it can just happen off panel at some point.”

“And one meal is all it took for me to become obsessed with your cooking?”

“Are you gonna deny that’s what happened in real life?”

Maki deadpanned at her girlfriend, earning a laugh.

“Well, maybe not just one…” The redhead tried to save face.

“Then definitely by the second.” The raven-haired girl decided.

“… Maybe…” Maki conceded.

“Nico knows how much Maki-chan loves her cooking.”

Well, there really was no denying that fact.

“Did they have coffee in medieval times?” Maki inquired a moment later.

“No idea.” Nico admitted. “But I know Maki-chan can’t face the day without it, I figured just alluding to it without naming it might work.”

“I suppose…” Maki furrowed her brow. “Are you trying to scam or cheat me?”

Nico blinked in confusion until she saw the page. “Nico is a professional saleswoman!” She huffed. “She would never cheat a customer. She knows Maki-chan can afford better gear than your average novice adventurer and she knows what upgrades will be most beneficial.”

“Also, what’s a grue?”

“An excuse to force players to bring light sources, I guess.” Nico shrugged. “That’s one of those gamer jokes I mentioned.”

“And the gazebo?”

“Another joke.”

“I see. And why does Kotori have a lion?”

“She’s a Beastmaster.”

“Ok, but again, why a lion?”

“Because she had one in the original photoshoot.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, she did.” Maki’s memory was jogged a bit. “She was part of the focus pair, with Eli, right?”

Nico nodded. “And you were paired with Rin as the secondary.”

“Is that why I’m friends with her here?”

“Rin? Not really, I don’t think.” Nico shook her head. “I mean, yeah, you two are friends, but through Hanayo. I think they’ll appear in the next chapter and we’ll get to explore how you know each other better.”

Maki nodded and continued to read. “Say, why don’t you call the harpy what it is?”

“Because you don’t know what it is.”

“Yes, I do.” Maki furrowed her brow.

“I mean your character doesn’t”

“Why wouldn’t my fantasy character know what a harpy is when she lives in a fantasy world where they actually exist?”

“Because she was raised in the city and is only now becoming an adventurer.” Nico explained. “She’s not ignorant, she just knows stuff better suited for an urban life as opposed to someone out in the rural areas. Not much different than real life, right?”

“I suppose…” Maki reached the part she had seen earlier and frowned. Her girlfriend noticed and giggled. But upon seeing the next page, she sighed. “Ok, the glomping was one thing, but climbing into bed with you? After having barely known you a day?”

“Two days, I believe.” Nico pointed out, ignoring the deadpan stare directed at her. “And it’s because of the curse.”

“Yeah, but even under a love curse, there’s no way I would be like this.”

Nico smirked.

“What?”

“I should really record you drunk sometime.”

“I still…”

“Oh, c’mon, Maki-chan, I’ve even told you about your drunken clinginess before.”

“Mmm…”

“And your half-asleep clinginess.”

“…”

“And your…”

“Alright, alright, I get it…” Maki didn’t want to admit the memories that were swirling around in her head.

“I’ve always found it cute, by the way.” Nico pointed out.

“You’re not finding it cute here.”

Nico chuckled. “That’s because it isn’t real, it’s because you’re under an idol curse.”

“You mean a love curse.”

“An idol curse.”

Maki rolled her eyes. “Are you intentionally baiting me into making a snarky comment about idols?”

“Maybe.” Nico stuck out her tongue.

Maki sighed. “And let me guess, you’re going to have me be all embarrassed about it later.”

“Well that’s how Maki-chan is in real life. And a flustered Maki-chan is an adorable Maki-chan.”

As if on cue, Maki could feel heat in her cheeks. She really should be used to Nico’s teasing by now, but the older girl rarely failed to get a reaction out of her. And though she wasn’t fond of how predictable her reactions were, she couldn’t really fault Nico for seeking them. After all, Maki also loved Nico’s own flustered expressions.

“So,” Nico asked as the last page was reached “what did you think?”

“It was entertaining.” Maki admitted. “Was this posted online?”

“Not yet.” Nico shook her head. “She just sent this to me for approval. She hasn’t even posted it on her own site yet.”

“Hrm…”

Nico chuckled. “Don’t worry, anyone at the hospital who reads this kind of stuff will like it and won’t think you’re weird or anything.”

It never ceased to amaze Maki how well her girlfriend could read her.

“But we can keep it private if we want.” Nico added.

“No, it’s fine, I guess…” Maki decided. “And you said there was going to be another chapter?”

“Or Two. Or more. Depends on how many ideas we have.” Nico grinned. “Because you know we can’t leave things like this. We can’t let Maki-chan only love Nico because of a curse! It needs to be natural! Just like in real life.” She leaned over to nuzzle into her girlfriend’s side. “Although even if we’re trying to keep things realistic, we also can’t keep the readers waiting for years…”

Maki furrowed her brow as she realized what Nico meant. “I didn’t mean…”

“I know. I know” Nico interrupted, making dismissive motions with her free hand. “Maki-chan’s just a little romantically dense is all. And we figured things out eventually and got together and we’re all good now.” She turned her head and pushed herself up so she could plant a kiss on the redhead’s cheek.

“Uhm… You know it’s getting kind of late…” Maki said softly.

“Hmm?”

“Well, I have class in the morning and…”

Nico grinned. “Is Maki-chan hinting that she wants to climb into bed with Nico?”

“Maybe…”

Nico laughed. “Maki-chan is being unusually shy tonight. She has no trouble seducing Nico but is embarrassed to request a snuggle session?”

Maki pouted, earning more laughter.

“So, to bed it is.” Nico said, pushing herself up and off the couch. “But how about a bath first?” She turned to offer a hand to her girlfriend.

“Alright.” Maki agreed, accepting the help up before following Nico down the hall.

Author’s Notes Continued in Followup Post

[vexedtonightmares]

last dance (elu ballet au) chapter quatorze

Lucas is in his final year at the Paris Opera Ballet School and he’ll be damned if he lets his former friend-turned-rival Eliott steal the lead role in their production of Swan Lake.

aka- lucas and eliott are rivals who are forced to room together for their final year of ballet school before they try to enter the company. we can all see where this is going.  

i. ii. iii. iv. v. vi. vii. viii. ix. x. xi. xii. xiii. xiv.

ao3

**tw: mentions of eating disorder, bipolar disorder, ableism, panic attack, very brief allusions to past child abuse**

Samedi 11:07

If Caroline Demaury didn’t know that Eliott and Lucas were dating when she’d texted him the night before, she probably did now. That was the thing about living away from family, they usually didn’t have to worry about getting woken up while their bodies were still tangled together as one and the consequences that might arise from that. 

Luckily, in this case, Eliott’s mom was so happy to see Eliott waking with a light smile on his face that she didn’t raise any sort of fuss about the two of them waking in each other’s arms. Lucas was stunned when he looked at the clock on Eliott’s bedside table and saw that it was just past eleven. He didn’t know the exact time they both fell asleep the night prior, but that was the best sleep he’d had in quite a while, since before he fell back into his unhealthy eating patterns. 

Eliott’s hair was a scrunched up sleepy mess, and his eyes were still squinted shut, blocking out the light from the open window, and he was beautiful. Lucas knew that the process to get him back into a healthier mindset would be a slow one, but he was ready to do everything he could to be there for him.

“You’re still here?” Eliott asked quietly, timidly. 

Lucas settled onto his side and ran a finger down the length of Eliott’s face. “Of course I am.”

Eliott’s lips twitched into the semblance of a small smile, and he opened his eyes, meeting Lucas’ gaze. “Thank you,” he said.

“No need,” Lucas said in return, “But you’re welcome.”

Eliott sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “My mom never used to come in and wake me up in the mornings, you know.”

Lucas didn’t know how to respond, what Eliott was trying to say. “She keeps looking at me,” he added, “They both do, like if they glance away I’ll disappear completely. There was a point earlier in the week where I thought I might too.”

Lucas’ heart clenched painfully in his chest, but he stayed silent, not wanting to interject before Eliott had said all he wanted to say.

“They’re in mourning. Of everything I could have been but can never be now,” Eliott said.

Lucas couldn’t help but cut in at that. “They aren’t. It might feel like that, but I promise you that’s not true. Your parents aren’t in mourning, they’re just trying to love you in new ways that work for you. And don’t talk like that, you can do anything you want to do, Eliott Demaury, never forget it.”

Eliott stayed silent a moment, and Lucas wondered if he’d spoken out of turn. “I thought of you, you know,” Eliott said, glancing over at Lucas. “I stayed for you, even though I was sure you wouldn’t want me anymore.”

The fissures in Lucas’ chest began to leak again. 

“I’ll always want you,” Lucas said. 

Eliott reached his hand out and Lucas grabbed a hold of it, feeling the roughness of both of Eliott’s palms, probably callused from his writings and drawings while he was manic. “Yeah?” Eliott asked softly.

“Yeah,” he promised, “But I don’t want you to just want to be here for me. I can’t live without you, but I want you to want to be here, want to live this life for yourself. I know that it’s easier said than done, and I’m still trying to work that out as well, but promise me you’ll try?” 

It was really important to him that Eliott didn’t just seek out happiness through Lucas. Obviously, he wanted to be one of the main sources of Eliott’s happiness, but not the only one or the most important one. He said it because he knew how it felt to be trapped in the euphoric sensation of loving someone more than you’ve ever loved yourself. 

“I promise,” Eliott said, “I promise I’ll try.”

He scooted infinitesimally closer to Lucas, millimeter by millimeter, until they were close enough to kiss one another. Lucas looked him in the eyes to make sure he wasn’t reading things wrong, then leaned in for a small, almost chaste kiss. It was the first time they’d kissed in nearly a week, and it felt like coming home. 

“We should go to the kitchen and eat before my mom gets too impatient,” Eliott said, still looking directly into Lucas’ soul.

“I’m sure she’ll understand if you need more time,” Lucas reassured him, pressing their foreheads together. 

Eliott shook his head gently. “Don’t even try, Lu. We’re eating, you and me.”

The funny thing was that Lucas hadn’t even thought about not eating that morning. Sure, there was a tug in the back of his mind that said stay here with Eliott all day, don’t eat a thing, but for once he’d blocked it out. He’d only suggested they stay in bed to make sure Eliott was okay, that he had the time he needed. Lucas smiled to himself. “Ok, let’s eat.”

He hopped out of bed much faster than Eliott did, but that was no issue. As Eliott slowly rose, Lucas’ heart gave a contented little sigh.

“I love you, by the way,” Lucas said, because he could, because he hadn’t yet that morning. Eliott looked a bit caught off guard, expression melting from confusion to surprise to tentative happiness. 

“I love you too,” Eliott said sincerely, taking the hand Lucas extended to help him off the bed. “Sorry I’ve been such a shitty boyfriend lately.”

“Are you kidding?” Lucas scoffed, “Everyone has their days. I haven’t quite been a model boyfriend either, you know.”

Eliott didn’t argue further, which Lucas was grateful for. He hadn’t said it so Eliott would reassure him, let him know that he was the best boyfriend ever. He knew he wasn’t, but neither of them ever would be, so they had to stop trying to expect it from themselves. Their imperfections were what made them perfect for each other. 

Caroline Demaury blinked when she saw the two of them in the doorway. “Eliott! Honey, is everything all right?”

“Yeah, we came out for breakfast,” Eliott said, sinking down into a chair beside his father. Lucas sat down next to him, avoiding Harold Demaury’s raised eyebrow in his direction. Lucas averted his eyes furtively, cheeks growing red. What was the etiquette for eating breakfast with your boyfriend’s parents who used to be like your parents until you hated their son for years?

Caroline still looked surprised, glancing at Harold out of the corner of her eye. Lucas realized that this might have been the first time Eliott had left his room since he fell into a depressive episode. She came back into herself quickly, fussing around the kitchen for something to eat, a small smile on her face.

“Lucas, long time no see,” Harold said, staring him dead in the eye. Lucas figured when Harold had picked him up the night before that Eliott hadn’t told his parents about the two of them, but it seemed now Caroline must have passed on her suspicions. 

“Yeah…” Lucas trailed off, not quite knowing how to respond. Sorry I hated your son for a good five years, I swear I love him now. Would that suffice? 

“How are your parents?” he asked, clearly trying to make conversation without bringing up the obvious. Lucas stiffened, and Eliott did too. The truth of the matter was that he had no idea. He didn’t even know the institution his father had placed his mother in. He really should know, but he also didn’t ever want to talk to his dad again. Maybe once he turned eighteen there would be a way for him to find out more. He missed her, especially now. He wanted an annoying parent to talk to about his beautiful boyfriend, even if he would respond by rolling his eyes. That was part of being a teenager.  

“Um, fine, I suppose,” Lucas said, biting the inside of his cheek. “I don’t live with them anymore, I live with my friend from school Manon, and her cousin Lisa and their other friend Mika.”

“Oh? Getting a head start out on your own?” Harold asked with a grin and Eliott cut him off before he could speak further.

“Dad. Can we talk about something else?” he asked a bit harshly, harshly enough that Harold narrowed his eyes, but did as Eliott asked. 

He folded his hands on the table as if saying you asked for it. “Alright, then. You two, huh? How long has this been going on?”

Lucas choked on the water he’d been attempting to drink to have something to do with his hands to keep them from sweating nervously. Eliott dropped his face into his hands and Lucas caught the end of a stern look from Caroline. 

Inexplicably, Lucas felt a bubble of laughter build in his chest. Maybe it was being away from the school, or being in a normal family setting for the first time in as long as he could remember, but he felt good. He’d take a possible shovel talk from his boyfriend’s dad over the director yelling at him about how he wasn’t good enough any day.

“Since a little bit earlier this year,” Lucas answered, and Eliott lifted his head long enough to look at Lucas with an incredulous expression. Lucas shrugged in response, the worst Eliott’s dad could do had nothing on the worst Lucas’ dad had done many times before. 

“You’re… you make each other happy?” Harold asked, and Lucas smiled involuntarily, glancing at Eliott. He opened his mouth but it was Eliott who answered. 

“Even at my lowest.”

Harold looked between the two of them, then shrugged, lifting his mug of coffee to his mouth. “Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.”

“Harold!” Caroline interjected from the stove, pointing her spatula at him menacingly. 

“I’m serious!” Harold said, raising his hands in surrender. “Come on, Caro, Eli-belly has been waxing poetic about this boy since the dawn of time.”

“Eli-belly,” Lucas whispered to Eliott with a laser sharp smirk. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Eliott whispered back, some color returning to his face. “Lulu,” he added, with a half a smile.

Lucas scoffed in mock outrage, but he couldn’t really even pretend to be mad. As long as Eliott was smiling, he could call him whatever he wanted to. He then registered what Eliott’s dad had just said. “Wait a minute,” he faced Eliott seriously, “Waxing poetic about me?”

“He would go on and on and on about your hair, your eyes, your laugh, oh god, it was so annoying,” Harold added, and Lucas couldn’t help but bite his lip and look to Eliott with both his eyebrows raised. 

Eliott crossed his arms defensively. “I never claimed not to have a crush on you, you were the oblivious one.”

Lucas opened his mouth to argue, but found he really didn’t have a counter-argument. He had been quite oblivious for quite some time. “Ok, fair.”

Eliott smiled a quick smile, cheeks still bright red as he exchanged a glare with his father. Lucas was hit again in that moment with how beautiful it was to be a part of this, of what a home could actually look like. He’d been without one for so long it was like a shock to his system.

The whole breakfast passed by in somewhat of a blur after that moment of realization. Eliott looked at him curiously a few times, but thankfully didn’t say anything. Even so, he had a smile glued to his face almost the entire time, whether from how delicious the food was, and how much he actually wanted to be there eating it, or from Harold teasing the three of them in a way that showed how much he actually cared, or from the way Eliott smiled the entire time too, not even looking like he realized he was smiling at all.

It was distracting, and it was beautiful, until Caroline looked at Eliott with hesitation in her eyes and Lucas felt the hairs stand up on his arms, dreading what she was about to say. 

“Eliott, the school called.”

There it was. Eliott’s smile dropped, Harold’s eyes were trained on his plate, and Lucas was caught in the middle of it all. 

“Oh?” Eliott said, voice light in a strained sort of way. 

“Before I say anything, I need to know if you want to go back or not. You don’t have to, and no one will think any less of you, but I need to know,” she said gently.

Eliott blinked, then looked at Lucas. “Of course I’m going back.”

Caroline nodded, as if that was what she expected. “You need to meet with the director when you return. You’ve missed enough classes that they can’t continue to give you leeway, even with notice of your diagnosis.”

Eliott’s face paled in an instant. “How do they know about my diagnosis?”

“I told you earlier this week, honey, they called to ascertain your whereabouts and the reason for your absence. The doctors provided your diagnostic report as well as the medications you’ll need at school, and the school was very understanding, but you’ll need to meet with the director.” Caroline’s expression was pained, like she knew exactly what Eliott was feeling and could feel it herself. 

Lucas felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn’t be. Eliott clenched his jaw, voice flat and cold. “When?”

“Tomorrow, if you’re up to going back,” Caroline said, and Eliott nodded, standing up from the table without a word and leaving the room. 

Lucas pushed his chair back a moment later, gesturing vaguely. “I’m gonna— I mean, he—”

Caroline waved him on, understanding what he was unable to articulate. He hopped up from the table, rushing to Eliott’s room, then halting at the door. What if Eliott didn’t want to see him? Fuck it, he decided. Even if Eliott didn’t want to see him, he wanted to make sure he was ok. 

Eliott was sitting with his back to the door on the edge of his bed, body shaking with silent sobs. Lucas made sure his footsteps were audible as he approached, so Eliott would have a chance to turn him away if he needed to. He didn’t, so Lucas got closer still until he was able to sit beside Eliott on the bed, placing an arm around his shoulders.

Eliott collapsed into him, sobs coming in gasping breaths. Lucas wrapped both his arms around Eliott tightly, protecting him from the world and from himself. At least, he hoped he was. They could talk about it later, but for the time being, Lucas just had to be there for him.

Eliott had been trying to save him all this time, so now it was time for Lucas to save him right back.

Dimanche 12:00

Lucas had been ready to fight tooth and nail to meet with the director with Eliott, but it turned out he didn’t have to. Apparently his unauthorized visit to Eliott’s house hadn’t gone unnoticed, so he was being spoken to as well. It was bullshit, people came and went all the time without express permission, especially on the weekends, but apparently it was an issue because he’d been gone over twenty-four hours and no one knew where he went.

No matter the circumstance, Lucas was waiting with Eliott in the director’s office, empty desk in front of them ominously striking. The director had to step out for a call, and Lucas could tell both of them were restless with nervous energy.

Lucas slipped his hand over to Eliott’s chair, lacing their fingers together and giving Eliott’s hand a small squeeze. It was all he could give at the moment, and he hoped it was enough. 

The door banged open and Eliott let go, startling in his seat. Lucas retracted his hand back, trying to steady himself so as to not get riled up by the director, even though he could only assume the worst.

“M. Demaury, M. Lallemant, what a pleasure to be graced by your presence,” the director began, and Lucas stiffened. Deep breaths, he had to stay calm and collected for Eliott. 

“M. Demaury, you’re aware you’ve missed ten rehearsals. We’ve made an exception to the attendance rules for you, due to circumstances outside your control, but we can no longer turn a blind eye. We need our lead to be reliable and mentally stable, so for this reason we think it would be best if M. Lallemant here took over the role of Prince Siegfried in the winter production. I need to discuss further with the other instructors, but there needs to be a serious conversation about whether you should continue in this school at all.” 

Fuck, that was not what Lucas had been expecting at all, and he was sure it showed on his face. Eliott hadn’t reacted at all, which Lucas figured was a bad sign. It was ironic, that this was what Lucas had wanted from the beginning, but now that he was faced with it maybe the director was right about him, and he wasn’t cutthroat enough for the ballet world.

The way the director said it too… mentally stable, as if Eliott was a lesser human for having a mental illness. It was something Lucas’ dad would have said, and that thought hit do deeply that it activated his fight or flight response. Normally he would have chosen flight, but this was Eliott, and Lucas would always fight for him. 

“That’s really fucking ableist,” Lucas said, brain barely processing the words before they were out. Eliott’s head snapped as he turned to look at Lucas with wide eyes and the director even seemed a bit taken aback. 

Lucas sat back into his chair. “What would you do if your lead dancer had an eating disorder?”

The director steeled himself, sitting up straighter. “Eating disorders are just a fictionalized disorder people self diagnose themselves with to have an excuse for their misgivings. Real eating disorders don’t exist, it’s just a matter of weakness and strength.”

“So I don’t eat for days on end as an excuse for my terrible dancing, just to clarify?” Lucas asked.

“Please, M. Lallemant, if your dancing was terrible, you never would have made it this far. If you aren’t eating, you’re not special. Ask any other dancer, they’ll just give you a congratulations or a complete dismissal. Technically, your dancing is excellent, but it’s that heart of yours that gets in the way. It’s why you’re the understudy, why you always will be, because you’re here arguing for him when you could be accepting the opportunity I’ve presented you gratefully,” the director sneered.

Lucas shrugged. “Maybe I won’t make it then, if that’s what it takes to get to the top. I don’t want to be a part of something that requires the belittlement of others for personal gain.”

“That’s life, M. Lallemant,” the director laughed mirthlessly.

“Maybe yours, but it doesn’t have to be mine. I want to succeed because I succeeded, not because the director of whatever company I’m a part of is an ableist asshole who sees neurodivergence as means for persecution and thinks that having real problems are just an excuse for someone to feel special.”

The director looked incredulous, and Eliott was still staring at Lucas intensely, not saying a word. “I don’t know what he’s told you, M. Lallemant, but M. Demaury has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. We can’t trust him with the responsibility of a lead role, he’s too unreliable, which has been proven over the course of the semester already.”

“Then have him train for extra hours to make up for the time he’s missed. As far as I’m aware, when he’s in class, he’s the model student, so why are you judging based on experiences you’ve never witnessed or experienced yourself? Only Eliott can feel what he feels but you’re not even giving him a chance to do so, to explain how he feels or what that might mean for his career.” Lucas briefly wondered what his life would be like if he had any self preservation instincts at all.

“I don’t suppose M. Demaury has anything to add?” the director looked at Eliott pointedly yet disinterestedly, as if he couldn’t care less what Eliott had to say. Lucas could tell this was the first time he’d ever seen this look from the director, because he shrank into himself further, finally looking away from Lucas. 

He folded his hands in his lap, gripping them so tightly his knuckles turned white. “I’m not going to sit here and argue my mental stability with you, because I know you’re not going to hear it, but I need you to know that this is my life. Ballet is everything to me, well…” He cast a short glance to Lucas. “Maybe not everything, but I would be lost without it. Prince Siegfried is the role of a lifetime, a role I’ve dreamed to play as long as I can remember, but if you truly believe Lucas would be better suited to the role, then I accept that. But please, please, don’t kick me out of the program. I won’t survive without it, I really won’t.”

Lucas was fuming, listening to the broken quality of Eliott’s voice. Eliott was a fighter, a believer, a dreamer. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Neither of them did, Lucas realized with a jolt. Yes, the dance world was intense, and strictness was to be expected, but no one should have to go through all this bullshit when they were seventeen. 

The director looked at Eliott with intensity burning through his gaze. “This will need to be further discussed, as I said.” He looked to Lucas. “With some minor accommodations, regarding your… comments.”

By fighting for Eliott, Lucas might have made a bit of an enemy of the director, but what else was new. All he had to do was get through the year, then he would be free from this tyranny. Sure, other company directors were probably just as harsh, if not more so, but at least he had ample experience in dealing with it. He would probably regret everything he said later, was already starting to regret it a little bit, but he couldn’t let that show. He had to act like he didn’t care what happened, because he knew that he was right, and the director would have to grow up himself and stop using his position of power as an excuse to be a complete asshole. 

“Thank you,” Lucas said, standing from his chair. Eliott stood as well, looking at the floor, saying nothing. 

The director leaned back in his chair as they began to walk out, calling out to them before they closed the door. “You’ll have until Friday, then I and the other instructors will make a decision about both of your futures here.”

Wait… both?

“Excuse me, sir?” Lucas clarified, sure he’d misheard. The last thing the director had said was that he was the Prince in the show from now on. 

The director grinned a cocky, fully chilling smile. He was powerful and he knew it, which was the worst thing about it. “You think the disrespect you’ve just shown me is tolerated at this school? No matter how important you think you are, you are just a student here, and I am the director. I call the shots, and I say who has a future in this program and who doesn’t. I very much appreciate your concerns for M. Demaury, truly, but your attitude is grounds for expulsion as well. Did you not think of that before you got snippy with me, M. Lallemant?”

“But sir—”

“You’re dismissed.” He waved a lazy hand, turning his back to the two of them. Lucas stood aghast, unable to move or speak. He felt when Eliott’s hand slipped into his and tugged him gently towards the door, and only then was he able to regain control over his body. 

“Yes, sir,” Lucas said, closing the door and feeling every emotion rushing through him at once. He could feel his breathing increasing rapidly but was defenseless to stop it. Why had he done that, said those things? The walls were closing in on him and he had no escape. It was a wonder he’d even made it out the door without collapsing into a lifeless heap. 

He was going to get kicked out. Where would he go? He didn’t have a home, a family, he had no one, he was alone, he had nothing— 

There were hands on his face, and his vision that he didn’t realize had blurred cleared a bit. Stormy blue eyes stared into his, and he remembered. He had Eliott. He didn’t have anything else, but he had Eliott. He wasn’t alone.

“Lu.” A soft and beautiful melody, muddled by the racing thoughts in his mind.

“Lu.” A repeated gesture, a show of love.

“Lu.” A promise.

“Eli,” he said, and the world came back into focus. “I’m drowning.”

He felt Eliott’s hands grip his face tighter. “No you’re not, I’m here, I’m with you.”

“I’m drowning.”

A press of lips to his forehead, hands still cupping his chin. “I’m here.”

But what if I fall too far under, what if the water gets to high, what if you’re not there anymore. 

He must have said it aloud without realizing it, because Eliott shook his head, pressing their foreheads together and looking at Lucas with what could only be described as love in its simplest, most beautiful form.

“Hell or high water, I’ll swim to you every time,” he said, and Lucas believed him. 

Lundi 10:13

The atmosphere had been strange all day so far. Everyone knew that Eliott’s absences were a cause for controversy, even if they didn’t know the exact details. He hadn’t stood at the front of the barre in Rigaux’s class, something that immediately put everyone on edge. 

Even though he’d been strong for Lucas after the meeting with the director, Lucas could tell Eliott still wasn’t quite himself. He seemed to be out of the deepest darkest part of his depressive episode, but now he just seemed resigned, accepting a fate not yet given. 

It was silly, really, that everyone still thought they hated each other, but Lucas wasn’t about to correct anyone, not when Eliott wasn’t feeling his best and when their futures were so precarious as it was. Imane knew, obviously, and kept looking back and forth between the two of them, surely arranging puzzle pieces in her mind to fit the situation. Hopefully she didn’t still think Eliott was on drugs.

Their rehearsals were broken up that day to go visit the stage they would be performing on, now that dress rehearsals were looming in the not so distant future. Lucas had been so excited for this day, but now all those emotions were taking a backseat to his fear that he’d never get to perform on that stage.

Arthur and Yann sat beside him on the bus ride to the venue, but it was clear Lucas and Arthur’s minds were elsewhere. Yann eventually gave up on trying to make conversation, but did so with a look that said We’re all talking later. 

Even with his mood soured, it was hard not to be in awe as they stepped into the auditorium for the first time. There were audible gasps from the group as everyone ran to the stage except for Eliott, hands trailing along the plush velvet seats. Lucas looked back briefly and saw Eliott standing still at the back of the theatre, eyes trained on the stage far ahead of him. He did nothing, because what could he do, really, and joined everyone else on the stage. 

The director didn’t accompany them today, which was a surprise, so they were chaperoned by M. Caron, who preferred that they call him Tomas, their hip hop instructor. He obviously didn’t totally understand the significance of the space, but he was very enthusiastic regardless. 

The cygnets performed their little swans piece haphazardly, Manon playing instrumental rap music as they did so, all of them laughing all the while. Julian, the student from the year below chosen to be in the show, was simply staring out into all the seats in the theatre, eyes wide, which Lucas thought was a justifiable reaction. Eliott sat in one of the seats, watching everyone onstage but not participating, and Lucas was grateful when Sofiane stopped what he was doing to go join him. 

Lucas walked directly to center stage, letting the massive— and very hot— lights bathe him in their fluorescent rays as he wondered what his life might have been like if he wasn’t so messed up inside. Because really, it was his own fault that he might never be able to dance on this stage in front of an audience, even as part of the corps de ballet. 

He must have looked stunned or something, because soon Yann was in front of him, looking into his eyes with his brows furrowed. “Are you ok, Lucas?” 

He just shook his head, because it was all hitting him again like it had the day before, and he didn’t know how to deal with it. Yann took his hand and led him off into the wings, looking at something over Lucas’ shoulder as he went, Lucas following along dazedly. They sat down away from everyone and Lucas saw a moment later that Arthur had joined them, a confused expression on his face. 

“Bro meeting,” Yann said when they were all seated. 

“But Tomas—” Arthur began to argue, gesturing to their instructor, cut off by an eyeroll from Yann. 

“Tomas couldn’t care less about what we’re all doing, and we’re here until break at noon, so we’re having a bro meeting before the two of you can slip away,” Yann said definitively. 

Surprisingly, Lucas wasn’t mad about it. Sure, he couldn’t tell them about Eliott, but he realized he hadn’t actually shared much about his own issues recently. The last conversation he’d had with Arthur hadn’t even been about either of the two of them, not really, and the last conversation he’d had with Yann had just been fluff. It had been needed at the time, but now he needed something more. They all probably did.

“I’ll start,” Yann continued, looking to both of them in turn, “I may or may not be hooking up with Chloé on the dl.”

Lucas coughed, shooting Arthur a wide eyed look. “My ex-girlfriend Chloé?”

“Did that even count?” Yann asked, and, true, but Lucas still had to take a minute to think it all over. 

“That’s three girls in our year, dude,” Arthur said, looking more like himself, which meant that he looked somewhat impressed. 

“Ingrid and Emma were so long ago, did you expect me to be celibate forever?” Yann scoffed.

Lucas snorted, laughing more easily than he thought he’d be able to. “I don’t think any of us were worried about you being celibate forever.”

“Ah, right, that’s you, our resident pure child,” Yann teased, taking Lucas’ face in his hands and squishing his cheeks. Lucas pushed him away with a laugh, thinking to himself about how that wasn’t necessarily true anymore… though he supposed he was still innocent in some of the few bigger ways that counted, but that was a conversation for another time. “Well?” Yann continued, “Who’s next?”

“Next? You barely said anything other than that you’re banging Chloé,” Arthur said, raising his eyebrows. 

Yann rolled his eyes. “I would have said that, bro meeting or not. I just needed something to say first to get you guys to open up to me and to each other. Come on! We’re the gang! We’ve gotta be more open with each other if we want our friendship to actually mean something.”

“Basile’s not here,” Lucas pointed out, but Yann waved him off.

“Basile doesn’t count, because Basile overshares at any given opportunity. Haven’t you been reading his texts in the group chat?” Lucas had been, and he wished desperately some things could be erased from his brain. 

“That’s fair,” Lucas admitted, then admitted further, “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot, I guess.”

“Like what?” Yann asked, not prying, but curious.

“I, um, have an eating disorder,” he said quietly, wishing he could take it back the second the words left his mouth. It was like coming out, in a way, all the nervous energy pent up waiting for reactions from people. 

Yann and Arthur were both looking at him, shock apparent on their faces. He didn’t know if he felt like shit for telling them or for not telling them. To his surprise, no words were spoken as he was engulfed in a giant hug that knocked him over onto his back. 

“What the fuck Lucas?” Yann said when he released Lucas from his grasp. “How could you go through something like that without telling us?”

Lucas shrugged. “Because it’s embarrassing. And because I didn’t even admit it to myself until like a week ago. Nothing’s been properly diagnosed or anything, but I suppose an eating disorder is what you call it when you don’t eat for days on end.”

“Does Manon know?” Arthur asked, and Lucas shook his head. 

“Does anyone know?” Yann asked, and Lucas shook his head again, then reconsidered. He didn’t want them to know that Eliott knew yet, but he supposed he could tell them about the situation he was in with the director in the meantime.

“Well… sort of,” he admitted. “The director… he knows about it, amongst a combination of things, and, um, long story short, but they might expel me.” That was the gist of it, after all. He had to believe that there was more reason for the director to want to expel him than having a little attitude once in ten years. 

“What?” Arthur and Yann hissed in unison, looking at him incredulously. 

Lucas shrugged. “No, no, they can’t do that to you,” Arthur said, fuming. “That’s such bullshit. This is why I fucking hate this place. It sucks everything good out of dancing. If you’re gone, I’m gone too, Lucas, I’m serious.”

Lucas knew he was, could tell by the set of his jaw. “Arthur… come on, stop it. There are other things out there for me. Maybe ballet just isn’t my thing.”

“Bullshit,” Yann chimed in, “You love it more than any of us, even though you have quite a few reasons not to.”

“Wait a minute,” Arthur began, looking out at the rest of their class, frowning. “So you might get kicked out, but Demaury just gets to waltz back in after another week missing and pick up his lead role from where he left off?”

Lucas didn’t know how much he should reveal that he knew. Did Yann and Arthur even know he was gone most of the weekend? He assumed not, because they hadn’t asked. “He’s on the director’s shit list too,” he revealed, deciding he could pretend Eliott had said something upon his return to school. 

“I don’t know why, exactly, but the director is deciding both of our fates on Friday,” he continued. Perfect. Vague enough that he wouldn’t reveal himself, but specific enough they wouldn’t question him further. 

Arthur let out a deep exhale. “Fuck.”

Lucas nodded. “Fuck indeed.”

“What would we do without the two best male dancers? And right before the show?” Arthur continued, gesticulating wildly. 

Lucas leveled him with a look and rolled his eyes. “Ha ha. I mean, I guess it would make the most sense for you to stand in for Eliott or to take over Sofiane’s role and for him to stand in for Eliott.”

“I’m serious dude, no one can do what you guys do,” Arthur said, neglecting to respond to anything else he said. 

Lucas looked to Yann for backup, but he just nodded along with Arthur. “What?” he said defensively, “He’s right.”

“Ugh.” Lucas put his face in his hands. “Why are you guys so nice and supportive? It’s annoying.” 

It wasn’t annoying, but they knew what he meant. Yann sighed dramatically. “That’s what bro meetings are for.”

“Fair enough,” Lucas conceded with a small laugh. “But that’s enough about me, this is a three person bro meeting, M. Broussard.”

Arthur sat back on his elbows and sighed, glancing down at the floor. “I was kind of hoping you’d all forget about me.”

“As if we could ever,” Yann scoffed, hand to his chest. Arthur rolled his eyes, kicking Yann with one of his feet. 

“Listen, there’s nothing dramatic going on with me, ok? Perfectly dandy,” he said.

“Coming from the master of bullshit, I don’t believe that for one second.” Lucas raised his eyebrows at Arthur, who looked away once their eyes met. 

It was funny, Lucas didn’t really realize until that moment how little Arthur actually shared about himself. Sure he’d talk about superficial things, mention his late night escapades away from the school, but he never once talked about his family, anyone he liked, or even ballet. The closest they’d come to having a conversation about any of those things was the last time they’d spoken, but Arthur had left in such a rush that Lucas didn’t know what he was supposed to have gathered from the conversation.

“Fine,” Arthur relented after Lucas and Yann stared at him long enough. “It’s not a huge deal, so please don’t make it one, but I’ve been in the process of legal emancipation from my parents.”

Lucas blinked, half wondering how he didn’t know this and half wondering why he’d never considered doing that himself. Yann piped up, “Aren’t you almost eighteen anyway?”

Arthur shook his head. “I have a late birthday, like Lulu. Besides, this isn’t the beginning of the process. I’ve been doing this for a little over a year, it’s only just now coming to a head.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Yann asked the question Lucas was thinking, heartbroken. Were they really all so lost in their own shit that Arthur felt he couldn’t come to them with things so prevalent in his life?

“How do you say something like that? Yann, your family is perfect, and Lucas yours must be all right if they let you move in with Manon last summer.” Arthur sounded strained, a bit like he was pleading. Yann shot Lucas a look, as he knew more about Lucas’ home life than Arthur did, and Lucas realized he couldn’t really be upset with Arthur for not saying anything if he hadn’t either. 

“I moved in with Manon because my mom was committed to an institution when I was ten and my dad was quite the disciplinarian, if you understand what I mean,” Lucas said softly, urging Arthur with his eyes to comprehend what he was saying without saying.

He did, Lucas could see it in his eyes. “Lucas, I’m— I didn’t mean—”

“It’s fine, how were you supposed to know if I never told you?” Lucas said seriously, because he didn’t want Arthur to feel bad, he just wanted to show that he related more than Arthur had originally thought. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Arthur softened. “You don’t have to be sorry. I guess we’re both a little private with our issues, huh?”

“You could say that,” Lucas acknowledged with a small grin that Arthur returned after a moment. He met Yann’s eyes, then Arthur’s. “I really love you guys, you know that, right?”

“That’s gay Lucas,” Yann said, then, “But me too. No homo.”

“No homo,” Lucas agreed, pulling them both into another hug.

“I love you guys too,” Arthur said, once they were all in one big pile. Then, as an afterthought. “No homo.”

The three of them broke down into giggles, only to be interrupted by Tomas, peering at them curiously. “You boys all right?” he asked, and they fell into another fit of laughter. 

“Peachy,” Yann answered for the three of them, avoiding Tomas’ suspicious stare. Then, under his breath, “Bro meeting was a success then, yeah? I’m calling it a success.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Yann.” Arthur patted Yann’s back and Yann returned the gesture by nudging him again, nearly knocking their no homo bro hug over again.

“Are we missing out on a company group hug?” Emma asked, sidling up beside Tomas, Imane, Manon, and Daphné by her side. 

The three boys looked at each other and shrugged. “Sure, why not?” Lucas said, laughing to himself. 

Sure enough, a hug for three became a hug for many as everyone piled on one by one, even the people Lucas didn’t talk to that much. He caught Yann’s eye as Chloé joined the hug, earning a fond eye roll. 

He waited, hoping one last person would join their dogpile, and he finally did, a bit tentatively. He was across from Lucas, engulfed by Sofiane and Imane, but he was there, and, when he met Lucas’ eye, Eliott smiled. 

Jeudi 20:44

Lucas wondered if it was even worth it to do his work at this point. Technically, he still had to graduate, but would he have to repeat the whole year if he was kicked out or would he just continue where he left off? He didn’t know what Eliott had decided to do about the matter, partially because he hadn’t asked and partially because Eliott was out to dinner with his parents at the moment. He’d offered to have Lucas come with, but Lucas didn’t want to intrude more than he had over the weekend, so he stayed, promising he’d eat on his own. 

Surprisingly, he kept that promise. It wasn’t anything special, but he’d made himself some spaghetti, eating it plain because he couldn’t stomach anything else at the moment, but at least it was progress. 

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket as he finished washing his dishes, pulling it out with curiosity.

MY BOYFRIEND 💘✨😍🦝💯🤪: want to meet?

Lucas: Meet where?

MY BOYFRIEND 💘✨😍🦝💯🤪: at the theatre?

Lucas: Like… the one we’re supposed to perform at?

MY BOYFRIEND 💘✨😍🦝💯🤪: yes

MY BOYFRIEND 💘✨😍🦝💯🤪: i’m not manic, my parents only agreed to drop me off here if you came too

Lucas: I didn’t think you were I guess I’m just confused

MY BOYFRIEND 💘✨😍🦝💯🤪: please?

Lucas: You know I can’t say no to you <3

Lucas: On my way

MY BOYFRIEND 💘✨😍🦝💯🤪: love you, see you soon 

Lucas: Love you too

Well, it looked like he was going to the theatre. Would it even be open? Whatever, that didn’t matter; all that mattered was Eliott right now, and admittedly Lucas did want to go back again, especially if it was the last time ever.

He snuck out, telling Imane where he’d gone so she’d be able to cover for him if by odd chance the director sought out him or Eliott. Apparently Eliott had told Sofiane and Idriss some things about what was going on in his life, but not all of it, so Imane didn’t fight him about going to meet Eliott thankfully. 

The bus ride felt longer than it had on Monday, probably because Yann wasn’t sitting there talking his ear off and his mind wasn’t rattling with unwanted thoughts. The thoughts were still there, lurking, but all he had on his mind was Eliott at that moment, whether Eliott had asked him to come because things were good or bad. 

He tried the door once when he got there, and to his surprise it was open, so he figured Eliott must be waiting inside. Sure enough, once he got to the auditorium, Eliott was lying on his back in the middle of the stage. Lucas made his footsteps apparent and Eliott looked up, wide eyes going soft when he saw who it was. 

“Hello my love,” Eliott said, and Lucas ran the rest of the way up to the stage. It had been so long since Eliott had called him that. So long, and it still filled Lucas with butterflies all the way up to his ears. He didn’t want to be called babe, baby, honey, darling, or any of those other pet names, he’d always found them sort of superficial and cringey, but when Eliott called him my love or Lu his heart filled with the light of a million stars.

He didn’t, however, have a special name to call Eliott, other than Eli, which would have to suffice for now. “Hey, Eli,” he said as Eliott stood up and melted right into his arms. He looked like he’d been crying, and Lucas didn’t really blame him.

“Why are we here?” he asked once they released one another enough to look into each other’s eyes.

Eliott pressed their foreheads together gently, closing his eyes briefly before opening them back up, not trying to hide any of his pain or emotion or love. “If this is my last dance, I want it to be with you.”

“Eli don’t say that,” Lucas said, shaking his head slightly and placing his hands on either side of Eliott’s face. 

“Lu, neither of us know what’s going to happen. I just want one perfect night in case this all ends tomorrow. Will you give me that? One perfect night?” Eliott pleaded, and while it broke Lucas’ heart, he agreed. They could discuss the downfalls of their current situation all they wanted, but if they were really one step from leaving ballet forever, they might as well make the most of what they had at that moment. 

Lucas wanted to say I’ll give you as many perfect nights as I’m physically capable of, but instead he said, “Of course I will.”

“Then let’s dance.” Eliott removed himself, picking his phone up off the stage and tapping on it until he chose whatever song he wanted. He set it down at the front of the stage and turned the volume all the way up. 

The first few beats filled the silence as Eliott grabbed Lucas by the hand. “I found this song the other day, and I thought of you, of us. Maybe it can be the song we play for our first wedding dance.”

Lucas blushed and hid his head in Eliott’s chest as they swayed together, not really dance the way they’d been trained to, but the way they needed to in that moment. The song really was beautiful, as Lucas listened to the lyrics more. It fit them perfectly, actually. 

“What’s it called?” he asked.

“Work.”

Lucas nodded his head, still lying his head on Eliott’s chest like they were at some basic high school dance instead of spending the night on a stage they might never be able to perform on. “I think I’d like that,” he said softly, and Eliott freed one of his hands to tip Lucas’ head up to his. 

“I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you too,” Lucas responded, because how could he not. He stood up on his toes to kiss Eliott slowly and deeply, letting the music wrap around them and carry them into oblivion. 

Even as that song ended, the music continued to play, a random mix of songs that had Eliott blushing and Lucas laughing as they leaped and pirouetted around the stage, combining a bunch of old variations they’d learned and trying to match them to whatever music was playing, from rap, to dubstep, to pop, and everything in between. 

Lucas was laughing so hard his cheeks hurt, and Eliott’s eyes were alive with a light Lucas didn’t know if he’d ever see again. It was so nice to just be Lu and Eli again; sure they had their problems, but they were working through them as one, just as their first song had said. It would take work, but it was their work, and they wanted nothing more than to tackle it together.

“I LOVE YOU ELIOTT DEMAURY!” Lucas yelled, letting his voice echo around the theatre as Eliott picked him up from behind and spun him around the room. 

“I LOVE YOU LUCAS LALLEMANT!” Eliott yelled in response, giggling through his words, still carrying Lucas around.

They somehow both ended up on the floor, log rolling across the length of the stage, then crab walking, because how often would they get a chance to do that on a professional stage? Maybe his life hadn’t led up to performing as Prince Siegfried on a stage in front of a full audience, maybe it had led up to him doing as many cartwheels as he could around the stage until he either got too dizzy or fell off, boyfriend counting from one of the velvet seats in the audience. It wasn’t the life he’d dreamed for himself, and he was still having trouble reconciling the life he’d always wanted with the one he was likely to get, but it was times like this that made the possible transition a bit easier. 

As Eliott hopped back up on the stage, lights basking him in a golden glow, smile so bright on his face it was hard to believe it would ever dim again, and Lucas took it all in. He sat down, looking up at everything Eliott was, and smiled in return.  

“Eliott Demaury you are the sun in its purest form.” 

Vendredi 1:02

“Hey Eliott?” Lucas said breathlessly, turning his head to the boy flopped down beside him.

“Yeah?”

“Your dick? Pretty big. Ten out of ten.”

He was immediately accosted by a pillow to the face followed by a short laugh, but he really couldn’t find the energy to care. He’d just about spent it all already. Slowly, their laughter subsided and Lucas thought maybe Eliott had fallen asleep. But then he spoke, voice lighting up the darkness with another small laugh. 

“You have a pretty big dick too.” 

Vendredi 17:00

Lucas was still riding the high of the night before, and it was good that he was because otherwise he’d probably be dying inside. He and Eliott hadn’t gotten back to school until nearly midnight, but they were able to sneak back in without any trouble, and once they were back they’d explored each other in ways they never had before, hungry with the desire to have their perfect night the way they deserved to. 

It should have been a rude awakening when their alarms went off at a quarter to six in the morning, but it wasn’t. Lucas woke with Eliott’s arm around his waist, both of their hair an utter mess, and neither of them would have had it any other way. 

They’d danced their hearts out at rehearsals, and judging by the looks students and instructors alike were giving them, their dancing was noteworthy to a new extreme. If it was their last day, may as well go out with a bang, they’d decided. Eliott had giggled to himself at the wording, and Lucas had to resist the urge to return his gesture from the night before and hit him with a pillow.

Now, sitting back in the director’s office, the unease was starting to creep in again, but Lucas did all he could to keep it at bay, scooting his chair closer to Eliott’s so they could hold hands covertly. 

The director stormed into the room like he had before, but this time he was followed by all of their instructors, each one of them looking quite grim. It didn’t give Lucas a good feeling. Even Tomas, happy go lucky Tomas, was looking at them sympathetically. Lucas felt Eliott clench his hand, and he squeezed right back. 

“I’ll have the both of you know that this decision was not unanimous,” the director began, glaring at one of their instructors but averting his eyes before Lucas could follow his line of sight. “It was actually quite the close call, and I must say I’m not entirely pleased with the outcome… but the majority has voted, and the majority decided that the both of you be allowed to complete your final year here at the Paris Opera Ballet School.”

An incredulous laugh burst its way out of Lucas before he could stop it, and when he turned he was met with a face full of disbelief from Eliott. They were staying, they weren’t getting kicked out. It was hard to believe, actually. Who had been the majority? 

“There are some conditions,” the director continued, frowning disdainfully at their reactions. The two of them nodded soberly, paying rapt attention. 

“M. Demaury, as long as you are here you are required to attend two therapy sessions a week, where your medication will be monitored to make sure you’re on track with your mental health.” He said it like it was the most disgusting thing in the world, but Eliott’s expression didn’t change. “The same will go for you, M. Lallemant, and you will meet with a nutrition specialist to get your physical health back on track as well as a few preliminary sessions with a clinical psychologist in order to properly diagnose your… issues.”

As much as the idea terrified him, he would do whatever was asked of him so long as he got to stay. The way the director was speaking, with so much clear disgust, still set off a reaction in the pit of Lucas’ stomach, but he held back, not wanting to do or say anything that might make him change his mind. 

“As far as the show goes, we realize it’s too far into the semester, too close to opening night for us to ask anyone else to fill in for the lead, as that would be unfair to them, so we’ve decided that the two of you will alternate shows, performing as both the lead and the understudy on opposing nights. I really don’t think either of you are suited for the lead, but this was the best we could come up with, given all the circumstances,” the director finished, and Lucas almost jumped out of his seat. 

The lead. He was going to play the lead. Maybe not every night, but he wasn’t just going to be relegated to the background when he’d been doing so much work to learn everything that went into the role of Prince Siegfried all this time. And this way Eliott also wasn’t going to lose everything he’d been working for. Eliott would probably be disappointed by this, the sharing of roles, so Lucas didn’t look at him quite yet, wanting to allow himself to bask in what really was the best case scenario. He didn’t know which of their instructors had stuck their necks out for him, but he would have to give them each an extravagant gift, just in case. Except for the director. Fuck him. 

“Well?” the director prompted, and Lucas realized they’d both just been staring at him silently. 

Lucas was the first to speak. “Thank you, sir, so much. I promise, I will do everything in my power so you don’t regret this decision. Not everyone is given a second chance, especially not in ballet, but I’ll do everything in my power to make sure this one isn’t wasted.”

The director merely nodded, uncaring, as he looked at Eliott, clearly expecting a thank you. Lucas finally looked at him too, and what he saw shocked him. Eliott didn’t look meek or upset at all, he looked equal parts proud and relieved. 

“I thank you as well, sir, I really do, but I want you to remember this,” Eliott said, “I want you to remember this when Lucas and I are the principal dancers in our respective companies, I want you to remember that you voted against us, and that we proved you wrong. I want you to remember that my bipolar disorder, Lucas’ eating disorder, those weren’t weaknesses. Sure, they may have caused some struggle, but I want you to remember that we rose to the top despite obstacles in our paths, and that you were one of them. Even more so than anything going on in my head, or his. Leading by fear can only get you so far in this world, and if I have any impact on the dance world at all, I want it to be taking down assholes like you who think discrimination is a healthy and functional way to run a school. Understood?” 

He stood up on his final word, shooting a sarcastic smile in the director’s direction, who looked completely dumbfounded. Lucas almost laughed at the somewhat impressed expressions on the faces of their other instructors as he stood up as well, taking Eliott’s hand not even caring if it caused any indignation. Just before he walked out he threw one last glance over his shoulder, seeing the director staring right back at him, face a mix of shock and confusion. Lucas laughed to himself, making sure the director could see and raised one eyebrow in challenge before closing the door behind him. 

Once they were out of the long hallway that separated the administration from the students, Eliott swept Lucas up into his arms. “It’s not over for us!” he exclaimed breathlessly, and Lucas started crying tears of utter shock and joy. 

“We’re— they—” Lucas tried, but he couldn’t even articulate all he was feeling. Eliott nodded regardless, knowing what he meant without him even having to say it. “I can’t believe it,” he added, heart pounding faster and faster. 

“I can,” Eliott said, “You know why? Because we’re born for this, and even if they kicked us out, we’d still find our way, make them regret they’d ever doubted us. We’re stars, you and I, and we should never ever let anyone try to extinguish our light again. Deal?”

“Deal,” Lucas agreed, though he thought Eliott was still much more a star than he was. There was something on his mind still, though. “You aren’t mad, though?”

“Mad? What do I have to be mad about?”

“Your role… you earned it, and now I’m swooping in to steal half your time in the spotlight.”

Eliott pulled him in close. “Lucas. I don’t care about that. All I care about is getting to dance again, and you. Lucky me, I get both, and I don’t care if I don’t get to be the lead in every performance. You deserve it as much as I do, if not more. I’m going to be so proud seeing you out there dancing the role you’ve always dreamed of.”

“Really?” Lucas found it hard to believe.

“Really.” Then again, Eliott was the perfect boyfriend. Well, not perfect, but perfect for him. God, what was Eliott doing to him? He was getting so sappy, so in love. Lucas from a year ago would never, but Lucas from a year ago also wasn’t someone Lucas from the present ever wanted to see again. It was getting harder and harder for him to pretend soulmates didn’t exist. How could they not, when Eliott Demaury existed, and he existed, and Lucas had this sense that they were made to find each other in every universe? “Now come on,” Eliott added, “Let’s go celebrate.”

Lucas raised one eyebrow. “Celebrate? What do you have in mind?”

“Oh… I have a few ideas.” He looked at Lucas pointedly, and Lucas couldn’t follow him to their room fast enough, smiling from the inside out. 

Minute by minute was what they’d promised each other, and in that minute, Lucas had reached for the stars and found them closer in his grasp than he’d ever thought they could be. So he touched one, and now his whole world was shining with the light it brought with it.

[elijahxwilliams]

Out of the Dark || Self

Elijah had decided to let loose once the power cut out. In a different way than what he usually did. He wasn’t necessarily adding to mass hysteria, since what he was doing wasn’t a part of the masses, but he definitely wasn’t sitting idly by when there was so much opportunity out there.

Mischief was practically Elijah’s middle name, all he needed was Shiloh to be his Mayhem but the middle Sinclair child was otherwise preoccupied, so Elijah found himself out on the streets of Chicago at dusk waiting for the sun to go down.

He’d been walking around the streets, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he observed everyone who was rushing to get home before the sun went down. They didn’t like the danger of not knowing what was to come. Elijah thrived off of it. His adrenaline was pumping with the thought of what could happen, all the possibilities too innumerable and vast to all take in.

The streets had finally begun to look deserted, and he contemplated where he wanted to head first. Looting was too obvious, that’s what most people were doing. They all were going after stupid things, too. Elijah wasn’t a materialistic person, all he needed to know was that he was provided for and that was enough. Shelter, food, bathroom, bed.

Finally he decided he would head towards the market, his fingers idly playing with the lighter he always kept on hand. What was a little fire here and there? It wasn’t like he intended to burn down entire establishments, but causing a little panic just to step in and help put it out might be entertaining enough.

Arriving at a small block where a few shops lined the street, he began seeking out the perfect spot to start his little bonfire. It needed to be somewhere not too out in the open where someone could see him doing it, but still in view enough that it wouldn’t go unnoticed to the point of getting out of hand.

There. He spotted a tight alleyway that had a dumpster at the end of it, a perfect cover as well as ignition for getting things underway.

As he was heading over to it, however, a voice rang out his name and he stopped dead in his tracks.

He knew that voice.

He’d heard that voice every day for 18 years of his life. Sometimes it still haunted him in his sleep. The image that usually accompanied it being them sprawled out on the floor grasping at their broken arm. The broken arm that Elijah had caused them.

Turning towards the direction the voice had come from, part of him hoped that it had been the wind. Once his eyes settled on the two figures not too far from him, however, he knew there was no escaping the reality that this was.

His little brother.

Elijah stood frozen in place as his younger brother Robert, though he’d always known him as Bobby, came closer. A smaller person walked beside him but Elijah didn’t recognize them.

As the pair of them came closer, he could see the bags that were in their arms, full of survival items that were already beginning to run thin after all these days of chaos.

“Bobby.” Elijah said, discomfort clearly in his voice. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d spoken to his younger brother, let alone seen him. Seen any of his younger siblings if he was going to be honest. He’d called Mary on her birthday, but that had been back in May, though now he was beginning to question if that had even been May of this year.

Guilt slowly began to creep into his subconscious though he attempted to hold it together until the two were directly in front of him.

“It’s been a long time, Eli.” Bobby stated, gripping the bag of supplies in one hand, the hand of the little girl in the other. Elijah wondered if that was his daughter. Would his brother have had a kid and not told him? The child looked to be a grade school age, definitely no older than 10. Eli had only left home about 9 years ago and Bobby was two years younger than him. His math skills were weak, but he knew that his brother hadn’t had any kids within the short span after he left. They were still on good speaking terms at that point. Sort of.

“Yeah, I guess it has.” It was a lame response, but what else was there to say to someone you had out right abandoned after being the only parent figure they’d known their whole life. The rest of the siblings were easier to talk to, they hadn’t quite understood as much as Elijah and Bobby had. They were the two eldest, and even though Elijah took on the majority of the responsibility, Bobby tried to pick up any slack that he could. He probably still was to this day. He was a better man than Eli ever could say he was these days.

Elijah finally returned his attention to the little girl, taking in the fact that she looked a lot like his sister Celia. She would’ve been about 20 by now, though he would have to look on a calendar to be sure.

He looked back to his brother and even though it had been years, the two were able to communicate without words. “She’s not mine.” He stated plainly, almost sounding as though he didn’t want to discuss it. A look crossed Elijah’s face that Robert could immediately read as further confusion. “She’s our sister.”

She’s our sister.

They had another sister? He had another sister? But how could he possibly not...

“You realize it’s been six years, right?” His brother finally blurted out in accusation. Six years. The phone call he’d thought he’d made had been six years ago. Mary had only just turned 13. And now this little girl... Was his youngest sister that he hadn’t been unaware of for six years.

“What’s her name?” Was all Elijah could muster out, as his eyes rested on the young stranger before him. He wondered if she even knew who he was, if she’d heard his name at all in the past six years or if Bobby was the oldest of the family as far as she knew.

“It’s Carter. They wanted something gender neutral this time or something...” 

Their parents. From the time they were 16 and originally had Elijah to apparently even when they’d been nearing their 40′s, they were a reckless couple. Elijah had vowed not to be like them when he was younger, and yet here he was on his way to set a fire simply for the entertainment of it.

“I like it.”

It was all he could say in response to his brother. After all these years, Elijah wasn’t even sure he’d know what to comment on that still rang true. The family he’d known had moved on without him, and it was all his fault for letting them.

-------------

Even hours after the encounter, Elijah still found himself greatly effected. His stomach was knotted and his chest burned as he thought about his family and how they no longer knew each other. They had once been the world to him, the ones he would die to protect. Now he didn’t even know when his family had expanded. Didn’t even know when her birthday was, what her favorite color was, how she was liking school...

Elijah paced his apartment angrily, having already thrown several items about the place in frustration. He had gone into this lifestyle with the intent of saving money to bring his siblings out from the dark cloud of his parents, but had ended up shutting them out completely instead. If they suffered any more after he left, it was his fault. If they went without a meal it was because he hadn’t supplied it. And now there was another sister that he hadn’t even been able to meet that could never have known what it was like to have somebody look after her other than her neglectful parents.

Except that she did. Bobby had been there. Mary and Celia had been there. Even Jack had been there. They all had stuck around and helped each other out. They didn’t get scared off by one accident; didn’t get drawn towards a dark future. In fact, Elijah wouldn’t be surprised if every single one of them had managed to go to college for something.

The thought made him scream in frustration, his fist drawing back and punching a hole into one of the walls. He should have been there, he should have stuck around. Now it was clear that he was all but forgotten and he had nobody but himself to blame.

Elijah collapsed against the wall he’d just punched looking down at the hand that had done it, unfazed by the blood that was beginning to prickle through the small scrapes that were a result of the action. He could feel the distant sting and eventual bruising that would occur, but the ache he felt in his chest was much stronger. 

[dimensiontripperhibiki]

Start Dash (11/?)

Next chapter. Hope you guys enjoy. 

Eli was relieved when she made it into Honoka’s bedroom without the two of them being noticed by either Honoka’s parents or her sister. It seemed that Yukiho wasn’t home yet and Honoka’s mother had been busy tending to customers in the shop. Eli felt Honoka slip away from her gasp and watched her girlfriend walk across the room, sinking down onto the bed. She swallowed thickly. She didn’t know what to do to make things better for Honoka. She wasn’t even sure if Honoka really wanted her there or not. She closed the door behind them and stepped further into the room, stooping down next to Honoka. She carefully took her hands and looked up so as to meet Honoka’s eyes. “Hey.” She said softly, giving the hand in her own a gentle squeeze. “If you need time alone, I can leave and come back later.”

Honoka shook her head. Her eyes were red and her cheeks tearstained. “I want to be with Eli-senpai.” She choked out, feeling herself beginning to tear up again. 

Eli moved up onto the bed and took Honoka into her arms, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I’m here.” She soothed gently, trying to calm Honoka down. She felt a surge of annoyance at Umi for causing this but she knew it wasn’t her fault. Not really. It wasn’t even Kotori’s fault, fully. The entire situation was just a mess. “She’s leaving.” Honoka said, her voice thick with emotion. “She’s really leaving.” “I know.” Eli said softly, gently rubbing Honoka’s back. She wasn’t sure what else to say. There wasn’t anything she could do to fix the issue. She couldn’t make Kotori stay, nor could she make it hurt any less for Honoka. “You knew and you didn’t tell me.” Honoka added, drawing away slightly. She didn’t sound accusing or angry, she just sounded hurt. “It wasn’t my place. It would have only hurt more if it came from me.” Eli explained though she still felt a stab of guilt at the comment. She hadn’t liked keeping secrets from Honoka. She had hated it actually. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you so many times.” Honoka nodded and reached up, wiping her eyes. “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.” Eli was surprised by the question. She hadn’t thought Honoka would want her around all night after what had happened. “You’re not...angry with me?” “No.” Honoka said softly. She wearily pushed herself up from the bed and made her way to her closet. “You did what you thought would help me...it’s okay.” “Right…” Eli mused as Honoka undressed. She watched her girlfriend tug on a shirt that reached the tops of her thighs and stepped closer, drawing her close. Honoka turned in Eli’s embrace and pressed her nose to the crook of Eli’s neck, breathing in her scent. “Without Kotori-chan, what’s the point of Love Live…?” Eli felt her stomach plummet. She had expected Honoka to think that but it was different to hear it coming from Honoka herself. She closed her eyes. “You still have me.” “I know.” Honoka murmured back. “You’re the best thing in my life. If you weren’t here I don’t know what I would have done.” Eli felt a slight relief at the fact that Honoka was being so open with her. It was a little bit unbelievable to her that Honoka wasn’t angry about her not telling her the truth. “You don’t have to think about Love Live right now. There’ll be time for that later, don’t worry.” “Thanks, Eli-senpai.” Honoka drew back and reached up, lightly brushing her fingers over Eli’s cheek. She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her girlfriend’s ear and watched as Eli’s eyes closed for a moment. “Will you do something for me, Eli-senpai?” “Anything.” Eli said solemnly as she opened her eyes. “Tell me...what you told me a couple of days ago. Tell me again.” Honoka blushed, looking away. Eli’s brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before she realized what Honoka was talking about. “I love you.” Honoka felt a rush of warmth at the honest response and offered a small smile. “You won’t leave me too, right? I-I mean...when you go off to college…” ---- Kotori could hear Maki calling after her, pleading with her to stop. She could hear her footsteps too, pounding against the floor behind her as she ran down the hallway but she didn’t pause to look back. For a short moment she didn’t even realize where she was going until the found herself nearing the door to the roof. She crashed through the doors and stumbled to a stop, tears spilling freely down her cheeks. “Kotori.” Maki gasped breathlessly as she followed Kotori out onto the roof. “Wait, wait…” “WHAT, Maki-chan?!” Kotori turned to Maki, unable to steady the stream of tears. “I-I knew this would happen! I knew it!” “Hey…” Maki stepped forward, gently grasping Kotori’s upper arms to draw her close but Kotori shrugged her off and turned away from her. “Stop it. I don’t deserve it.” Kotori muttered, wiping hurriedly at her tears. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Maki frowned for a moment before her features hardened and she moved to Kotori, hugging her from behind. She felt her girlfriend try to shrug her off but she held tight, refusing to let go. “This isn’t your fault.” She said softly, her mouth close to Kotori’s ear. Kotori breathed in slowly, her eyes closing as Maki’s hot breath at her neck calmed her mind. She could smell Maki’s familiar scent of sugar and pastries and it only served to calm her down further. She turned in Maki’s embrace and wrapped her arms around her in return, pulling her close to her. She buried her nose in the crook of Maki’s neck and inhaled slowly, breathing in her scent. “I don’t know what to do.” Kotori confessed tearfully, focusing on how tightly Maki was holding her. If nothing else, she felt safe in Maki’s embrace. “How am I supposed to leave now?” “Honoka will come around.” Maki said soothingly. “She’s your best friend. She has to understand why you’re doing this. She knows you well enough to know that this is a dream come true for you. You’re not leaving us because you want to, you...you just have to. You can’t pass up this opportunity.” “I know.” Kotori whispered, nodding her head. The logical side of her knew that it was true. She’d never thought she would have an opportunity like the one that had been presented to her. But she had. The other, less rational side of her though, just wanted to tell her mom that she wasn’t going. That she wanted to stay and perform at Love Live with Honoka. That she didn’t want to leave Honoka or Maki. “A-Are you still going?” Maki stuttered. The fact that she hoped Kotori would answer no caused her to feel a stab of guilt. She didn’t want Kotori to not follow her dreams. Not just for her or Honoka. “I don’t know.” Kotori murmured unsurely. “I think so. Yes. I have to, don’t I?” Maki let out a soft sigh. “You should do what makes you happy. We can always meet up later...after I finish school, I could...go to where you are.” Kotori drew away, wiping at her eyes. Maki’s arms remained around her though and Kotori didn’t feel an urge to back off too much. “Do you think Honoka-chan will forgive me?” “I know she will.” Maki said, nodding her head. “She’s your best friend. You’ve been best friends since you were kids. How could she not forgive you?” “Because I’m leaving her behind?” Kotori suggested, frowning. “Because I lied to her? Because…” “None of that is important. If she loves you, she’ll understand why you’re leaving. Like I do.” Maki cupped Kotori’s face in her hands and kissed her softly. She faintly tasted salty tears on Kotori’s lips. “I wish you could come with me.” Kotori admitted in a whisper. “It would make this decision so much easier.” Maki managed a small smile. “You know I would if I could. Why don’t we get out of here? I could...talk to my mom. Maybe you could stay over? If your mom doesn’t mind.” “I’ll explain what happened.” Kotori said quietly, her thoughts drifting to her mom. She knew that her mother didn’t approve of Maki but she surely couldn’t say no after what had happened. “She’ll understand. I think.” Maki briefly kissed Kotori once more before she took her hand and led her to the entrance to the roof. She hoped that Honoka would come around but she couldn’t help but feel a niggling fear that maybe this would be enough to push Honoka over the edge. She could only hope that Eli would be able to handle it. ---- “Relax.” Nico said quietly as she carefully watched Umi’s face. They had already walked halfway home but Nico hadn’t been sure what to say to Umi so far. “You know you did the right thing by telling her.” “Doesn’t feel like I did.” Umi mumbled, keeping her gaze fixed straight ahead. She didn’t want to show any weakness, not yet when they were still in public. That could wait until she was alone with Nico. “It feels like I made everything worse. You saw Honoka back there.” “We knew this was going to happen.” Nico said reasonably. “We knew it was going to get worse before it got better. That’s why Kotori didn’t want to say anything to her. You know that Honoka had to find out though. It won’t be long until Kotori leaves.” “Yeah.” Umi sighed softly, her shoulders slumping. She wasn’t looking forward to that either though Honoka didn’t seem like she had given much thought to that. Neither had Kotori for that matter. “I don’t know how Honoka’s going to deal with this. Kotori’s our best friend.” “She has Eli. She’ll get through it.” Nico reached out, carefully taking Umi’s hand into her own. “And I’m here for you. You know that.” Umi managed a small smile at the reassurance. It was something she had already known, of course, but it was nice to hear it coming from Nico herself. “I know.” She squeezed Nico’s hand back and turned her attention back to walking, focusing fully for the first time since they had left the school. “Oh…” “I was wondering how long it would take you to notice.” Nico said with a smirk. Since they had started walking they had been going toward her apartment rather than Kaiyo’s. “It’s fine. I was going to ask you if you wanted to stay over anyway.” “I do…” Umi worriedly bit her lip and glanced once more at Nico. “Is that okay? I stayed over last night too.” “I don’t think my mom would mind if you moved in with us.” Nico joked. “She loves you. So do my siblings.” Umi grumbled embarrassedly under her breath and shook her head. She was silent for a moment before she continued. “Thanks, Nico. I don’t know if I could have done...that without you there.” Nico’s eyes widened in surprise for a brief second before she relaxed into a smile. “Of course you could have. I didn’t even do anything.” “You were there.” Umi countered meaningfully. “I needed you there.” “W-Well...it’s not like I would be anywhere else.” Nico looked away, feeling her face warm. “Ugh, you’re making me soft. Let’s just go back to my apartment and I’ll make dinner. My mom’s at work so my siblings will be there but...we’ll have a good night. To take your mind off things.We can even watch a romantic movie if you want.” She watched Umi’s face drop and chuckled to herself. “I’m kidding, relax! We can watch something else. Come on.” Umi jogged a little to keep from stumbling as Nico tugged at her hand. --- “I’m fine.” Hanayo said softly for what felt like the fifth time since she had arrived at Miyu’s house. Both Anju and Miyu were watching her in concern, the latter gently rubbing her back. Miyu shared a dubious look with Anju. “We know. We’re just worried, that’s all. We heard what Umi said. It must have come as a shock…” Hanayo let out a soft sigh. She had known that something was going on and that Kotori might be leaving Muse but she hadn’t been aware of the details. “I-I guess. I’m just worried that this is going to ruin everything. How can we keep going with Kotori-chan gone? It’s meant to be the nine of us…” “Uh...well at least you’d be even now?” Miyu attempted, not sure what else to say. Anju grimaced at the response. “Go and get the cocoa from Chrom-kun, Miyu-chan.” “Yes, mom.” Anju blushed slightly. Miyu smirked. “What? I need a new sister anyway.” “Shoo.” Hanayo blinked as Miyu was ushered away. She watched her soulmate leave the room, closing the door behind her and bit her lower lip. “Now.” Anju sighed as she made her way over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it next to Hanayo. “This may shock you but I want to tell you something...did you know that A-Rise used to have a fourth member?” Hanayo’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “That can’t be true. You guys were in Love Live as a trio?!” “Yes but we used to be a quartet in the beginning when we were nobodies.” Anju explained patiently. “Just freshman. Her name was Fuu and she was my best friend since elementary school. Truth be told I only met Tsubasa and Erena in high school. Fuu was the one who pushed me to join. I was more focused on my studies and to put it simply I was pretty quiet like you.” Hanayo scooted closer. She suddenly felt somewhat of a kinship with Anju. “Fuu was extremely friendly and outgoing.” Anju continued quietly. “She thought it would be fun. Then she got a scholarship in England for her soccer career. She told Tsubasa right after we formed the group. But she only told me the day before she had to leave. She begged me to tell her I would be okay alone. She was frightened to leave. But I cared about her too much to let her stay. I didn’t say anything and she cried before she turned around and got into her father’s car. I haven’t called her until this year. It’s hard to let people go but what she said to me before she stepped into the car was…’Don’t be afraid anymore. Shine, Anju’...” Hanayo stared at Anju closely for a moment, taking in the far off look in the older girl’s eyes. She could tell that Anju was being sincere. “M-Maybe it’ll just be different without Kotori-chan there with us.” She said softly, reassured by Anju’s admission. “Maybe it won’t be the end of Muse.” Anju smiled softly and shook her head. She was glad to see that Hanayo looked to be a little bit more hopeful now. “I’m sure it won’t be. Just give Kousaka-san some time to process everything. It’s a lot to take in. But maybe...maybe she will do what I couldn’t back then. Sometimes I still berate myself for saying nothing before Fuu left...” Hanayo opened her mouth to speak but she was stopped by the door opening across the room. It was nudged open by Miyu who stepped into the room, carrying three mugs of cocoa. Before Hanayo could move Anju got up from the bed and went to help, taking two of the mugs from her. She returned to the bed a moment later, handing Hanayo one of the mugs. “Is everything okay?” Miyu asked, glancing cautiously between Hanayo and Anju. Hanayo nodded, cradling the warm mug in her hands. “I feel a little bit better. Thanks to Anju-san…” Miyu glanced between the two of them in confusion for a moment before she smiled widely. She was a little bit disappointed that she hadn’t been the one to make Hanayo feel better but she was glad that Anju had managed to get through to her. She supposed Anju had more experience when it came to idol groups. There was a light knock at the door, drawing the attention of everyone.

“Anyone want to watch a movie?” Chrom asked with a hopeful smile. “I ‘borrowed’ Kaiyo’s Netflix details and I made popcorn.” Miyu looked to Hanayo for consent and when she received a nod she stood up. “I get to choose the movie though! Anyone disagree?” “I figured we could let Hanayo choose the movie.” Chrom said pointedly, raising an eyebrow. “Ah...right.” Miyu sheepishly looked to Hanayo. “You can choose. Of course. Sorry. I’m still used to it just being the two of us…” “Well it’s the four of us now.” Chrom said brightly, nudging Miyu. The two shared a small smile. Besides their other friends, it had always just been the two of them. But now it felt like they had something away from their main group of friends. “Uh...frozen?” Hanayo suggested uncertainty. “Whatever you want.” Chrom answered, gesturing for Hanayo and Miyu to go ahead. They did and he followed with Anju at his side. “Is this...okay with you too?” “Sure.” Anju answered, blushing slightly. “You’re...really good with them.” “Well I am used to being an older brother.” Chrom said, a hint of pride in his voice as the four of them made their way downstairs. He watched as Miyu vaulted onto the couch, Hanayo sitting down next to her and leaning into her offered embrace. He took his seat next to Anju, casually throwing his arm over her shoulders and handed Hanayo the remote. He failed to miss the dark blush that spread across Anju’s cheeks. Miyu smirked knowingly as Hanayo took the remote but quickly focused on her own girlfriend as Hanayo’s head came to rest on her shoulder. ---- Nozomi’s eyes were close to fluttering shut as she stared at the television screen in front of her. Saya had put a movie on a short while ago, wanting to help to take Nozomi’s mind off of everything that was happening but Nozomi had found she could barely pay attention. She felt exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally. The fact that Saya was holding her close, mindlessly playing with her hair didn’t do anything to keep Nozomi awake. In fact it had only worked to help her nod off a couple of times. She was just about to again when her phone rang on the table in front of the couch and she jolted awake in surprise. Saya groaned in disdain at the fact that it had woken Nozomi up. “Who is it?” She asked as Nozomi reached forward to pick the phone up. Nozomi stared blearily at the screen for a moment before she answered. “Elichi.” She mumbled as she answered the call. She pressed the button to put it on speaker, seeing no reason not to. “Hello?” “Hey.” Eli said softly, her voice almost a whisper. Nozomi frowned. “How is she?” “She’s a fucking wreck.” Eli answered sharply. “Did you know Umi was going to do that?” “No. Of course not.” Nozomi answered quickly, a bit hurt that Eli would suggest that. “We...we knew it would have to be done eventually though. Honoka-chan had to find out. If it wasn’t from Kotori, the next best thing was to hear it from Umi.” Saya frowned but figured it was best to keep quiet. She left her arm curled around Nozomi’s waist though, wanting her to know that she was there if she needed her. “It should have been Kotori who told her.” Eli said, her voice quieting once more. “I hate seeing her like this. She’s so...broken.” “She’ll get through it.” Nozomi reached down with her free hand and clutched Saya’s tightly. “She has you. And all of the rest of us if she needs anything. We’re always here.” “Yeah.” Eli let out a shuddering breath. “I’m just worried. After losing out on Love Live and now Kotori...I don’t know how much more she can really deal with. She’s worried that I’m going to leave her too...after we graduate.” “She’ll be okay.” Nozomi said again though her voice sounded strained this time. Saya gently pressed her lips to the back of Nozomi’s neck, trying to comfort her in any way possible. She didn’t want to interrupt the conversation though. She knew it was important that Eli and Nozomi talk about it without her input. “I think I’m going to take a year off…” “Huh?” Nozomi’s eyes widened in surprise at the admission. “Off? What do you mean? W-Why?” “I want to go to college with Honoka.” Eli explained simply. “I can take a year out. Get some experience working for a while and then go back to college when Honoka starts too. We could get an apartment together.” Nozomi glanced back at Saya who shrugged meekly. “Oh. I figured we would...do it together.” Eli let out a soft sigh. “I thought that too but...I’m sorry, Nozomi. I want Honoka to know that I’m here for her. That I’m not going to leave her.” “What about…?” Nozomi’s voice trailed off and she cleared her throat before she could pose the question she was going to ask. “I should go. Saya is here and I don’t want to...disturb Honoka-chan. She’s probably sleeping, right?” “Yeah.” Eli answered after a brief pause. Nozomi figured she had taken a moment to look back at Honoka. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Nozomi.” “Bye.” Nozomi hung up quickly, setting the phone aside and took a couple of deep breaths. “It’s okay.” Saya murmured, pressing her lips to Nozomi’s neck. “Actually um...I was meaning to ask you something. You know, we’ve um...been dating for almost a year now, right?” “Yeah.” Nozomi turned in Saya’s embrace so that she could look at her. “And I live next door to you. And...my apartment is bigger than yours.” Saya lightly bit her lip. “And I love you. So...I was wondering...do you want to move in with me? I know it’s kind of fast but I think it could work for us. If you wouldn’t mind?” “Yes.” Nozomi answered, visibly perking up. “I mean...no, I wouldn’t mind. I want to move in with you. If you’re sure…” “I’ve never been more sure of anything.” Saya said brightly. She leaned in, briefly pressing her lips to Nozomi’s. “At least we won’t need a moving van. I’ll get Chrom and the others to help us move everything.” Nozomi chuckled softly at the response and rested her forehead lightly against Saya’s. “I love you too.” She said softly, squeezing Saya’s hand. “Everything is...easier when you’re around.” Saya smiled and kissed Nozomi once more. ---- “We should do a live show with all nine of us before Kotori leaves.” Eli said, her gaze fixed confidently to Honoka. She was sure that this was the right way to cheer Honoka up. To make her look forward to something. “We’re going to tell Kotori-chan when she gets here.” Nozomi chimed in. Rin jumped forward enthusiastically. “We’re going to send her off with a big lively event!” She grimaced as she was hit lightly on the head by Nico who had stepped forward. “Calm down!” “Nico-chan, what was that for?!” “You should be glad I held back!” Eli’s brow furrowed as she watched Honoka carefully. Her girlfriend still looked as upset, if not more so than when she had come up to the roof. Umi seemed to notice too. “Are you still feeling down?” Honoka didn’t answer. “Where’s Maki-chan?” Hanayo looked away. “She’s with Kotori-chan, helping her study. She’s also going with her to the airport when...Kotori-chan leaves.” “What?!” Honoka looked up sharply. “You all keep...looking at me like you think I should be able to make Kotori-chan stay but why is everyone relying on me when her own damn soulmate can’t do it?!” Nozomi awkwardly glanced between Eli and Honoka. “Honoka-chan, you know Maki-chan can’t. She just wants what’s best for Kotori-chan.” “And I don’t?! She’ll be miserable!” Honoka snapped angrily. “And I don’t care about love live or any live anymore! This club should never have happened. It should have stayed dead.” “What the hell are you on about?!” Nico surged forward toward Honoka only to be intercepted by Rin. “You can’t just say things like that! Damn it, Kousaka. I’m gonna kick your ass! After everything you seriously want to just give up? WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL  IDOL ARE YOU?!” “I’m not a school idol.” Honoka said, her voice softening in defeat. “I quit.” There was a collective intake of breath from the rest of the group and Honoka paused for a moment before she turned to walk away, her heart heavy in her chest. She had barely taken a couple of steps before she felt someone grab her hand. She thought it was Eli at first until the person tugged her around. She caught a flash of Umi’s face before she saw a hand coming toward her face. A sharp sting shot through her cheek, her head jerking to the side in wake of the slap. Eli’s eyes widened and instinctively she began to move forward only for the back of her shirt to be grabbed by Nozomi. “You are the worst.” Umi said, her eyes laced with tears. “Pulling us by a string, tugging us along until you can’t do it anymore...The Honoka I know would never do this. The younger one who isn’t a coward. Kotori kept this a secret because she knew you would shut down.”

Honoka’s lower lip trembled, her hand hovering near her cheek for a moment before it fell to her side. Tears tracked silently down her cheeks. “Nozomi, let go.”   Nozomi glanced to Eli to see that she was gritting her teeth. “Don’t deck her.” She warned softly before she released her hold on Eli. Eli went to Honoka, intentionally keeping her distance from Umi and tried to reach for her only to be pushed away. “I am the worst.” Honoka said, her voice trembling. “I don’t deserve any of you. Just leave me alone…” She met Eli’s eyes. “All of you.” Eli opened her mouth as Honoka turned and rushed away, the door to the roof opening quickly and then slamming behind her. She curled her hands into fists and turned to face Umi only to find that Nozomi had already hastily moved between them. “Look what you’ve done…” “Don’t even think about touching her!” Teary as she was, Nico began to struggle against Rin’s hold once more. Rin grimaced as Nico’s head bumped into her chin and she bit her lip hard. She released her hold on Nico to put her hands to her mouth, accidentally letting the girl slip away. “Rin-chan!” Hanayo hastily made her way to Rin who was cupping her hands over her mouth, her eyes watering. “You’re bleeding…” Eli narrowed her eyes as Nico went to stand with Umi. “You two are a perfect match, you know…” Nico looked wide eyed at Rin. “I didn’t mean to…” Umi watched Rin slowly draw her hands away to reveal blood dripping down her chin. “You should put something on that. I’ll take you to the…” “You’ve done enough damage.” Eli, still clenching her fists moved toward Rin, blocking Umi. “Hanayo will take her.” “You still need to apologize to  Honoka-chan.” Nozomi chimed in, looking at Umi. Umi frowned. “I’m...not going to do that.” “She won’t do that.” Nico growled in agreement as Rin was led away by Hanayo. “Not after the shit Honoka just pulled.” “You’re not helping, Nicocchi.” Nozomi said with a heavy sigh. Eli gritted her teeth together, staring at the two of them for a moment before she slowly walked toward Umi, stopping a few inches in front of her. She noticed Nico tense but ignored her. “You’re supposed to be her best friend.” She said accusingly, her tone more betrayed than angry now. “If you’re not going to apologize, stay the hell away from us.” Nico gripped Umi’s arm, pulling her back a couple of steps. “Us? It doesn’t seem like Honoka wants anything to do with you either. Some soulmate she turned out to be, huh? I can see why you were reluctant to…” She trailed off, stumbling to the side as Eli punched her in the face. “Nicocchi…” Nozomi grimaced, her hand going to her head. She had known that Eli could only be pushed so far when it came to Honoka. Nico growled and surged forward, ignoring the throbbing in her face. She tackled Eli to the ground, hearing the blonde land with a gasp of breath and pulled back, drawing her fist back. She had every intention of punching Eli back until an arm went around her waist and she was hauled off of Eli. “Umi?!” Nico exclaimed, noticing who had grabbed her. “What the hell?! She hit me first!” “Just leave it alone, Nico.” Umi said quietly, holding Nico close to her. “Please. I just want to go home.” Eli pushed herself to her feet. “Wherever you go, stay away from Honoka. Until you’re ready to apologize!” She said gruffly before she turned and walked away. ----- Hibiki perked up as she spotted her girlfriend walking down the stairs toward her. She had been waiting a short while, probably about thirty minutes. It was longer than she would usually have waited but she didn’t mind. She had been more worried about Rin. She had seen the other members of Muse leave a short while ago though none of them had said anything to her. Especially Nico and Umi who wouldn’t even look her in the eye. She could see Rin talking to Hanayo as she approached, though her girlfriend’s mouth was covered by her scarf. “I’ll see you later, Rin-chan.” Hanayo said with a small smile. She offered a wave to Hibiki before she took off down the street. “Hey.” Hibiki smiled as Rin stopped in front of her. She leaned in, reaching for the scarf so she could kiss Rin on the lips but paused when Rin shrunk away a little, laughing nervously. “I’m cold, nya.” “Huh?” Hibiki frowned at the comment. Usually she was the first to complain about the cold and Rin would always laugh at her, telling her that she was too sensitive. Hibiki could feel a chill in the air but nothing extreme enough for a scarf. Not enough for Rin to be cold. “Are you sick or something?” Rin shook her head and as Hibiki approached she seemed to sink further into her scarf. Realizing she would have to tell Hibiki eventually, she grimaced, a gesture which tugged at the closing cut on her lip. “Ah...I need to tell you something. And I need you not to...freak out.” Hibiki felt her stomach sink. “What is it?” “I-I kind of got hurt at practice...not really practice but…” Rin paused to push down her scarf, revealing the cut on her lip where she had bitten it. Hibiki’s eyes widened and she stepped forward, cupping Rin’s face in her hand to look closer at the cut. “What happened?” “Well...Nico-chan was angry and…” “YAZAWA did this?!” “She didn’t mean to.” Rin said hastily. “She was trying to...get to Honoka-chan because she was angry with her and I grabbed hold of her. And then when Eli-chan threatened Umi-chan, Nico-chan um...headbutted me in the chin. It was my own fault really. I-I bit my lip.” Hibiki wasn’t sure she fully understood what Rin had just said but she let her hand fall to her side, gritting her teeth. “Damn her.” She muttered, her hands closing into fists. “I’m okay, Hibiki.” Rin said, struggling not to smile at the annoyed look on Hibiki’s face. “I just have to...not use my mouth for a while. For kissing, at least.” Hibiki huffed in annoyance. “The next time I see her…” Rin gave a gentle laugh despite the fact that smiling really hurt and tugged Hibiki into a tight hug. She felt Hibiki hug her back and sighed softly. “Honoka-chan quit Muse…” “She did?” Rin nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” Hibiki asked in concern as she slowly drew away. “I know you were really attached to the group. And you looked up to her…” “Not right now.” Rin answered softly. She reached down, taking Hibiki’s hand in her own. “Can we just...go back to my house and watch a movie or something? I don’t want to think about any of this right now. I just want to be with you for a while. If that’s okay.” “Of course.” Hibiki gently pressed her lips to Rin’s flushed cheek and drew back, smiling at her. Together, the two of them made their way down the street. Hibiki was silent for a few minutes, trying to think of what to talk about. Usually she wouldn’t have a problem talking to Rin about anything and everything but she didn’t want to accidentally upset her so certain topics were out of the question. “Do you want to go out with me tomorrow?” Hibiki suggested hopefully, figuring it would help to take Rin’s mind off things. “I could take you to lunch. And a movie maybe. If you want?” Rin shot Hibiki a quizzical look. “Is it my birthday?” Hibiki gave a sheepish chuckle, her cheeks reddening. “You just deserve it, that’s all. And I want to spend time with you.” “I would like that.” Rin said, squeezing Hibiki’s hand back. She knew what Hibiki was doing but she appreciated it regardless. Her girlfriend was always there for her. She had been even before they had started dating. Reaching the subway they swiped their passes to let them through the turnstiles and made their way to the platform. “The train is coming in six minutes.” Hibiki said, checking the times overhead. “We…” She paused, seeing a couple standing a few feet away. The anger, which Rin had soothed only minutes ago returned fully. “Yazawa!” Hibiki barked, letting go of Rin’s hand and walking around her. She stormed toward Nico and Umi, watching as they both looked up. “Shit.” Nico muttered under her breath as Hibiki got closer. “What the hell did you do to my girlfriend?!” Hibiki scowled as she reached the two of them. She vaguely noticed that Nico’s nose was bloody and red but paid no attention. “Have you seen her lip?!” “Yeah, sorry about that…” “Sorry?! I should knock you on your scrawny ass…” “Scrawny?” Nico scoffed. “You’re smaller than me.” Hibiki growled and stepped forward only for Umi to quickly step between them, holding her hand up to stop her. “What?!” “I know you’re...upset.” Umi said, her voice trembling slightly. “But...nobody else is hitting my girlfriend today, okay? Just leave her alone. She’s sorry. She didn’t mean to hurt Rin.” Hibiki felt her face redden. “Back off Sonoda! You and Ayase aren’t the only athletic artists, you know.” “You? Athletic?” Nico rolled her eyes. “Sure.” Rin grimaced at the comment. “Um...you know, in middle school she was considered a delinquent. She used to beat up guys who tried to hit on her.” “Still am.” Hibiki quipped. “And grown ass men at that. So get out of my way, Sonoda.” Nico tried to move around Umi only for her path to be blocked by Umi’s arm. “Wha…?” She watched as Umi raised her hands. “Hey, don’t fight because of me! Are you crazy?!” “What?” Umi looked back at Nico in disbelief. “I’m just defending myself if she tries to hit me. I have training, remember? And I’m not just going to let her hurt you!” “You can’t fight in a subway!” Nico hissed. Rin pulled Hibiki to her, pressing her lips to her shoulder. “Please, calm down. Nico-chan wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. I know she wouldn’t. It was just an accident. I’m okay, I promise.” Nico saw a flicker of doubt on Hibiki’s face. “I’m really sorry I hurt her. I didn’t mean to, I just...I thought Umi was going to get hurt and I freaked out. I’m sorry, Rin. Really.” Hibiki felt herself calm slightly and she pressed her back against Rin, feeling Rin’s head rest on her cheek. She let out a slow breath to calm herself. “If it happens again…” “It won’t.” Nico assured her, taking hold of Umi’s arm. Without another word she quickly dragged Umi away, hearing the announcement that their train was arriving. “I’m sorr-” Rin cut Hibiki off with a soft kiss which stung her lip slightly but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that. “Thank you.” She whispered, slowly drawing away. Dazed, Hibiki nodded in response and as their train arrived, she numbly let Rin lead her on to it. ----

“Are you okay?” Nico asked quietly as she trailed after Umi into her room. Since what had happened at the train station, Umi had barely spoken to her. They had made their way to Kaiyo and Hisa’s apartment in silence until that point. “I’m fine.” Umi dropped her bag and gestured for Nico to sit down on the bed. “I need to bandage your nose.” Nico nodded and made her way to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. She watched silently as Umi made her way over, holding the first aid kit she had picked up from the bathroom. “I can’t believe you threatened to fight Hibiki.” She mumbled as Umi got out a small bandage. “I can’t believe I did a lot of the things I did today.” Umi said quietly. She leaned toward Nico, carefully placing the bandage on her nose. When she was sure it was stuck in place she moved back, assessing her work. “It should be fine.” “I don’t think a bandage is going to help.” Nico lifted her hand, trailing her fingers across the bandage. She probably would have used ice instead, she thought, but didn’t say anything to Umi. Umi stared at Nico for a moment before she shrugged her shoulders. She quickly cleaned up the mess she had made with the first aid kit. “Do you want to...stay over tonight?” Nico winced. “I have to get back for my siblings. You know…” “Yeah.” Umi nodded in response. “It’s a school night anyway so...forget I asked. Um...how long can you stay?” “My mom will be home for another couple of hours.” Nico said with a small smile. “So until then.” Umi managed a slight smile at that and nodded her head. She was relieved that Nico could stay for a little while at least. Still, she noticed that Nico looked a little bit troubled. “Don’t worry, Kaiyo will be back with Hisa soon.” Nico nodded though she didn’t like the idea of leaving Umi alone. “You know...if you hadn’t slapped her, I would have. She’s being an idiot.” Umi frowned in response and sat down on the bed next to Nico. “I shouldn’t have gone so far. I was angry. Maybe I overreacted. I just...” She trailed off, hearing footsteps. The door to her room, which hadn’t been closed fully opened and Kaiyo walked into the room, her shoes and jacket still on. Hisa trailed a little bit behind. “Are you okay?” Kaiyo asked as Umi stood up again. She made her way to her younger sister and leaned in, hugging her. “I heard what happened from Miyu.” Umi hesitated for a moment before she relaxed into the embrace and allowed herself to hug back. “I-I’m fine.” “You should put some ice on that.” Hisa told Nico, nodding to her nose. She held up an ice pack in her hand but Nico didn’t take it. She placed a soothing hand on Umi’s shoulder, offering a small smile when her future sister-in-law looked up at her. “What happened to you?” Kaiyo asked Nico as she drew away from Umi. “Nothing I can’t handle.” Nico answered confidently, averting her eyes. Hisa smacked Nico’s shoulder before she moved forward, pressing the ice pack to her nose. “OW!” Nico exclaimed, her eyes watering. “The hell?” “Hold it there.” Hisa said pointedly. She waited for Nico to take the ice pack before she stepped back, a smug look on her face. “Was that so hard?” “Yes.” Nico growled irritably. “You just hit me in the face with a damn ice pack.” “Relax. You’ll be fine.” Hisa crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Who did you get into a fight with anyway?” “Eli.” Nico muttered. “And before you ask, I didn’t get to hit her back.” Hisa raised an eyebrow. “You know, I could teach you to fight if…” “No.” Kaiyo interrupted, grasping Hisa’s arm. Nico frowned. “I know how to fight.” Umi looked away. “Hey, I do!” “Not like us.” Kaiyo smirked. “Eli is a ballet dancer too, right? She could beat you.” Nico huffed in annoyance and tossed the ice pack aside. “What? How can ballet teach you to fight?!” “Fighting is like dancing.” Umi chimed in. “And she’s graceful. I’m glad I didn’t get into a fight with her…” Nico sighed and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Fine. You can teach me to fight. I’ll be able to protect Umi, right?” “Sure.” Hisa smirked. “Hisa, no.” Kaiyo groaned in exasperation. “Do I have to remind you of when Izetta begged you to teach her to fight and you accidentally punched her in the nose and Saya wanted to kill you?” Hisa grimaced. “Fine. Point taken. Sorry, kid.” “Wait…” Nico said, something occuring to her. “Did you teach Hibiki?!” “Um…” Hisa glanced at Kaiyo. “Maybe? But she was having men hit on her. Kid needed some advice!” Kaiyo sighed. “And you taught her to beat them up?!” “Yes.” Hisa answered, shrugging. “It worked. They don’t bother her nearly as much now.” “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.” Hisa’s eyes widened. “Huh?” Kaiyo ignored Hisa’s confusion. “Umi, you’re with me. These two knuckleheads need to learn not to get into fights. Or teach middle schoolers how to fight.” Hisa sighed and pressed a hand to her forehead. She didn’t say anything though, figuring Kaiyo needed some time to cool. “Uh...I’ll go and make dinner.” “Coward.” Nico rolled her eyes as Hisa fled the room. She turned to Umi, noticing she was still standing close to Kaiyo. “Are you going to be okay?” Umi nodded in response. “I should go.” Nico said softly. She stepped forward and briefly kissed Umi. She figured her girlfriend needed her sister at the moment. “I’ll call you later?” Umi managed a small smile and nodded her head. “I love you.” “I...love you too.” Nico blushed and quickly turned, heading for the door. Kaiyo chuckled softly under her breath. “She reminds me a lot of Hisa.” ---- “Eli.” Honoka’s mother smiled at the sight of Eli walking into the shop. As Eli approached, her smile seemed to falter somewhat. “Oh...I’m sorry, Honoka has said she doesn’t want any visitors.” Eli frowned, pausing in surprise. “I just wanted to make sure she’s okay. She um...something happened yesterday and I just wanted to check on her.” Honoka’s mother looked torn for a moment, glancing between Eli and the stairs leading up to where they lived. “Okay, go ahead. She did seem quite upset at breakfast this morning…” “Thank you.” Eli breathed a sigh of relief and quickly hurried past Honoka’s mother, afraid that the woman would change her mind if she waited too long. She took the stairs two at a time until she got to the narrow hallway leading to Honoka’s bedroom. She straightened out her clothes and walked to the door. Stopping in front of it, she knocked a couple of times before she slowly eased it open. “Honoka?” She called softly, spotting a figure huddled on the bed. As she entered Honoka looked up sharply. Eli felt her heart lurch at the sadness she could see in Honoka’s eyes. “Why are you here, Eli-senpai?” Honoka asked softly, her voice meek. “I told everyone to leave me alone.” “I’m not just anyone though.” Eli replied quietly. She made her way to Honoka’s bed, climbing onto it and moved toward Honoka on her knees. When she reached her she carefully wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and drew her close. “Don’t push me away. I’m here for you, no matter what.” “Even if I quit Muse?” Honoka lifted her hand to tightly grip Eli’s forearm as the blonde embraced her from behind. “Even then.” Eli replied in a whisper even as her heart tugged at the question. She couldn’t imagine Muse without Honoka in it. “I told the others...well, Umi...to keep her distance.” Honoka felt her throat become tight at the thought of Umi. She swallowed thickly, feeling the corners of her eyes sting with oncoming tears once more. “O-Oh…” “Should I not have?” Eli murmured worriedly. “After what she did, I thought…” “No. No, it’s fine. But I deserved what she did.” Honoka answered, turning slightly in Eli’s arms so that she could look at her. “I brought everyone into this. Even though I couldn’t do it. I screwed up and now everyone else is suffering because of it.” “You didn’t. You made one mistake, that’s all. None of this would be happening if Kotori…” Eli paused, gritting her teeth for a moment as anger washed over her. “If Kotori had just told you what was going on.” Honoka nodded slowly in response. She supposed that much was true. She let out a soft sigh and pressed herself closer to Eli, her head under the blonde’s chin. “I don’t...I don’t really want you to leave me alone. I thought you might be angry with and I-I didn’t want anyone else to leave me.” “I’m not leaving you.” Eli gently pressed her lips to the top of Honoka’s head. “I love you. I’m here, I promise.” Honoka managed a faint smile at that. She was losing Kotori, she was losing the friends she had made in Muse and probably even Umi. But she still had Eli. She took Eli’s hand in her own and drew it to her face, pressing her lips tenderly to Eli’s knuckles. “I could stay over.” Eli suggested gently. “If you want. We don’t have school tomorrow so my parents wouldn’t have a problem with it. If that’s okay with you?” “Yeah.” Honoka said, slowly nodding her head. If she was honest she really didn’t want to be alone. “I would like that.” “Good.” Eli said softly, relief evident in her voice. “I’ll have to head back to my house to pick up some clothes for the night but..” “You can borrow something. Of mine.” Honoka said quickly, tightening her grip on Eli’s hand. She didn’t want her to leave, even for a few minutes. She felt somewhat guilty at that. She knew she was making things difficult for Eli by quitting Muse after only convincing her to join fairly recently. “Okay.” Eli smiled softly and mimicked Honoka’s previous gesture, kissing the girl’s hand. “I’m here.” ---- Hisa glanced up in surprise as Umi’s head fell to her shoulder, the girl instantly jerking awake when it did. For the past hour or so the three of them, Kaiyo included, had been watching television, mostly flicking through the channels. “Sorry.” Umi mumbled, a blush coloring her cheeks. “Don’t worry about it.” Hisa said with an easygoing smile. She glanced at Kaiyo who had sat up slightly on the other side of Umi to quietly observe them. “We should go to bed.” Kaiyo said, noticing Hisa nod toward Umi. “It’s getting late.” “Me too.” Hisa got up and leaned down to press a kiss to Kaiyo’s lips. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Umi watched with a troubled expression. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to…?” “Yes.” Hisa interrupted without finishing her sentence. She reached over, ruffling Umi’s hair. “It’s not your fault I ended up on the couch.” Kaiyo bit the inside of her cheek to suppress a smile. It was a little. And Hisa knew that. “Don’t act like you don’t deserve it.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, yeah. Go to bed.” Hisa said with a roll of her eyes. “Come on, Umi.” Kaiyo stood up, holding Hisa’s gaze for a moment before she turned and walked to her bedroom with Umi trailing behind her. “Left or right?” “Huh?” Umi frowned in confusion.

“Side of the bed.” Kaiyo said as she shut the door behind Umi. “Which do you prefer?” “Oh, I-I don’t mind.” Umi waited until Hisa took the side of the bed closest to the door before she walked around to the other. “So...are you actually mad at Hisa?” “No.” Kaiyo answered, amusement lacing her voice. “She knows I’m not, don’t worry.” “Then why…?” “Is it so bad that I want to spend time with my sister?” Kaiyo asked, raising an eyebrow as she got into bed. She watched as Umi did the same. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” “No.” Umi answered though right after she had spoken she moved closer to Kaiyo. Kaiyo automatically opened her arms and as Umi moved into them she wrapped them around her. “I messed up.” Umi said, her voice thick with emotion. “I really messed up this time.” “Honoka will forgive you. Being bold is a part of the Sonoda blood. You had to say something.” Kaiyo said reassuringly. “It’s not that.” Umi shook her head. “I hit her. I slapped Honoka.” Kaiyo’s eyes widened slightly at the admission. Even as a toddler Umi had been a very timid and gentle baby. “I was just so angry.” Umi continued remorsefully. “I felt like she was playing with my emotions, taking something so precious away from me...away from Nico! And I just wanted to shake her out of it. She was being selfish and…” “You should tell her to go after Kotori and stop her.” “Huh?” “Kotori doesn’t want to go, Umi.” Kaiyo answered, sighing softly. “You know that. Deep down.” “How do you know that?” “I...talk to her sometimes. I am a psychiatrist, you know. It’s easy for her to talk to me about things.” Kaiyo felt a little bit uncomfortable at disclosing that despite the fact that Kotori wasn’t a patient of hers. Still, she couldn’t stand to see Umi so upset. “I don’t know if Honoka will...stop her.” Umi frowned, thinking about how stubborn Honoka could be at times. “She thinks Kotori wants to go. So does Maki.” “You can convince her.” Kaiyo prompted gently. She didn’t want to push too hard but she needed Umi to see. “Tell her Kotori doesn’t want to go.” Umi let out a slow breath. She wasn’t even sure she could approach Honoka. She nodded though, before resting her head on Kaiyo’s shoulder.  “Okay.” She whispered. As worried as she was, she didn’t have a choice. She had to fix her mistake. And make sure Kotori didn’t make one of her own. “Thank you, Onee-sama.” “Geez, I’m not Otou-sama.” “Onee-san?” Umi offered. “Little more informal?” Kaiyo asked hopefully. “Nee-san.” “That one.” Kaiyo said with a soft smile, nodding her head. “That one’s too embarrassing!” Umi buried her head into Kaiyo’s shoulder. “Aww...maybe Nee-chan!” “Nee-san, shut up.” Umi groaned. Kaiyo beamed at the comment, her chest warming. “I love you, imouto. I’m always here for you.” Umi let out a soft sigh. She felt calmed by “Thank you, Nee-san.” “You have to say I love you back.” Kaiyo prompted, gently nudging Umi. Umi sighed. “Nee-san, I’m not…” “I love you.” “Are you serious?” Umi asked, her face flushed. “Hisa is in the other room!” “All you have to say is I love you.” Umi’s blush intensified. “This is embarrassing.” “Haven’t you said it to our parents?” Kaiyo asked curiously. “N-No. Erm...only Nico.” Umi mumbled. “I want a declaration too, imouto!” “Fine.” Umi sighed and rolled her eyes. “I love you too, Nee-san.” “There we go.” Kaiyo hugged Umi briefly before loosening her embrace once more. “We are gonna be a family, I promise. I’ll support you no matter what.” Umi felt tears cloud her vision and averted her eyes. Her parents had never been so reassuring. It saddened her that she hadn’t gotten to grow up with Kaiyo. “I wish I had known you before.” Kaiyo gave a sad smile. “I wasn’t always so together.” Umi nodded vaguely and took a deep breath to calm herself. “Is Hisa okay with me staying here? I...don’t want to go back to our parents house. Ever.” “She’s fine with it. She likes having you around.” Kaiyo said confidently. “Trust me, if she wasn’t happy we would know. She’s not the type to keep her feelings to herself. She understands anyway. She has siblings of her own. And she didn’t have a great upbringing either. I guess that’s something we have in common.” “She didn’t?” Umi looked up to see that Kaiyo looked troubled. Kaiyo shook her head, quickly fixing a smile back to her lips. “Maybe she’ll tell you one day. You should get some sleep.” Umi gave a soft hum of agreement and closed her eyes, intending to do just that. ---- “He-” “Finally!” Hibiki exclaimed when Maki finally answered her phone. “We’ve been trying to call you since school finished. Where were you?” “I was busy with Kotori.” Maki said quietly, frowning as she looked over at her sleeping girlfriend. Kotori was curled up atop the covers on her bed, breathing evenly as she slept. “And who’s we?” “Miyu and I are here too.”  Hanayo’s voice chimed in. “Rin is too but she can’t talk right now.” Hibiki said quietly. “Has anyone spoken to you about what happened on the roof today?” “No…” Maki answered slowly, worry filtering into her voice. “What happened?” “Honoka-chan quit Muse.” Hanayo replied, figuring she should because she was the only one there. Besides Rin. “And Umi-chan slapped Honoka-chan. Rin-chan got hurt too because she was trying to hold onto Nico-chan.” Maki cursed under her breath, her gaze briefly turning back to Kotori. “And Eli? Didn’t she stop Honoka?” “No.” Hanayo replied. “None of us knew what to do. Honoka-chan wasn’t acting like herself. She was different...defeated.” Maki sighed and leaned forward, her head falling into her hand. “Are you with Kotori now?” Hibiki asked. “Don’t tell me you two tossers have been screwing all day.” “Nyaa, accent!” “Rin, don’t speak!” Hibiki berated her girlfriend. “Um…” Hanayo spoke up somewhat shyly. “Maki-chan?” “It’s none of your business!” Maki exclaimed, her face warming with embarrassment. “Anyway, Hanayo, continue. What else happened?” “We wanted to do one more live before Kotori-chan left…” Hanayo answered quietly. “But Honoka-chan was against it. Then she talked about how the club should have stayed dead which hurt Nico-chan and made Umi-chan angry.” Maki sighed heavily. “I’ll have to tell Kotori. This is going to make it harder for her to leave.” The line was silent for a moment before Hanayo spoke again. “Do you...want her to leave? The others were saying that only you and Honoka-chan could get her to stay and you don’t want to.” “I want her to be happy.” Miyu cleared her throat. “You really love her?” Maki bit her lip for a moment. “Y-Yes.” “You have guts, Nishikino.” Hibiki added wistfully. “I don’t think I could ever be separated from Rin.” Maki swallowed thickly. She didn’t like to think about that part. She was trying to focus on the fact that what she was doing would make Kotori happy. “It’s only a couple of years.” The other end of the line was silent, none of the others wanting to add anything to Maki’s observation. “I don’t know how to tell her.” Maki mumbled, looking at Kotori’s sleeping face. She looked so peaceful and soon enough the news that Maki had to deliver would ruin that. “It’s a tough one.” Hibiki said agreeably. “Just be honest. She has to know. You could screw her senseless again first and then talk to her?” Maki frowned. “Why do you have to make this gross?” “I’m trying to lighten the mood. Geez.” Hibiki said, rolling her eyes. “Just talk to her, right Miyu?” “Right.” Miyu said confidently. “Just be honest.” “Yeah, yeah.” Maki muttered under her breath. “I have to go, I don’t want to wake her. Hanayo, I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” “I’m here too, nya!” Rin exclaimed, her voice slightly muffled. “Right, sorry. I forgot.” Maki shook her head. “Bye.” She hung up quickly and set her phone down on the bedside table before she slid down on the bed, turning onto her side to face Kotori. She didn’t want to wake her, figuring she could wait until Kotori woke up. TBC

[self-indulgence-with-tea]

#SSVDay19 Prompt 3 - Soulmate AU (feat. Elizabeth Comstock)

{For @jocelynships prompt list, I decided to go with an F/O that’s a little more in my age group. The AU? Soulmates can write, draw, or do anything to their skin and it’ll appear on the other. Enjoy!}

In the quiet of morning, Elizabeth Comstock couldn’t help but feel, of all things, lonely. Of course, she’s felt this way before. It hadn’t taken long for her to realize all her pleading with Songbird only granted her warning stares in return. Of course, that didn’t mean she wouldn’t long for a life outside her tower. The books were a nice escape, but there were only so many books in her library and only so long she could spend reading.

Elizabeth sighed, staring out her window at the cityscape below her, watching the morning bustle along the streets. So many people she had never met and would never know her. The young girl stood, smoothing out her dress and descending the stairs to the main library. Just as there was only so long she could read, there was also only so long she could sit, staring out windows, before it grew tiring.

Perusing the shelves, she found a book of poetry she hadn’t yet read. It looked to be good for a bit of light idling before studies for the day. Perhaps a poem or two would help her take her mind off things.

She flipped to a random page and started to read.

The house was still – the room was still

‘Twas eventide in June

A caged canary to the sun

Then setting – trilled a tune

A free bird on that lilac bush

Outside the lattice heard

He listened long – there came a hush

He dropped an answering word –

The prisoner to the free replied

Elizabeth smiled, raising an eyebrow. What was the reply, she thought. Taking a pen, she noted the poem’s name and author on her arm, having no free paper on which to write. Just a little note, barely noticeable. At the very least, she hoped Madame Lutece wouldn’t notice it when she came in for tutoring. She shut the book and tucked it away, leaving to the dressing room to prepare for studies.

~~~

An hour later found Elizabeth nodding off while Madame Lutece went on about geometry and pythagorean theorem. Her tutor was like this often, barely noticing when her ward wasn’t paying attention as she continued the lecture.

She looked down at the note scrawled on her arm and was shocked to find another bit of writing underneath. Even more shocking; the note wasn’t in her handwriting.

Looking up to ensure Madame Lutece still wasn’t aware she wasn’t listening, Elizabeth pulled back her sleeve and read the note. It was a question she, herself, had asked.

*How did the prisoner reply?*

Elizabeth glanced up before taking her pen and writing her own answer.

~Who are you?~

Throughout the lesson, she kept glancing down to her arm, trying to see if the mysterious writer would return. Eventually, she got a response.

*Nobody. You?*

She had to stifle a giggle before writing again.

~Apparently, a cyclops, Mr. Odysseus.~

Elizabeth could barely sit still, anticipating the next reply. This time, it came far faster.

*You must be well read. None of my friends know Homer.*

~I was led to believe Homer was very common?~

*Not among my peers, it would seem.*

“Miss Comstock.” The accented voice cut through her reverie like sheers through paper. “I would find it surprising, if you found the area of a circle so enjoyable.”

“My apologies, Madame Lutece. I was just writing…”

Elizabeth’s tutor raised an eyebrow, her eyes seeming to catch sight of her arm and the ink scrawled across it. A moment’s hesitation made Elizabeth curious.

“Madame Lutece?”

Rosalind seemed to shake herself of the moment. “We must be on with our lesson plan. You may resume the conversation at a later time.”

Elizabeth nodded, but hummed in confusion. Conversation? Did she know? Or was she simply referring to their conversation? And just who was this person? How were they writing on her skin like that? So many questions and every attempt to answer them just brought up more.

~~~

Emily Tomlinson looked over her arm with trepidation. The penmanship was very definitely unfamiliar and very neat, formal, even. Was it a ghost writing to her? Was she haunted?

She suddenly felt a presence over her shoulder and jumped back when it spoke.

“Woah, Emi, you got your soulmate already?”

She blinked, her friend looking very enthusiastic.

“Soulmate?”

“Yup! Your soulmate! Or, at least, that’s the legend. That the person on the other side of the writing is the person you’re destined to be with. Your perfect match.”

Emily looked down at the writing again, biting her lip. Soulmates… “It’s a pretty tale, but I don’t much buy into folklore. Most people never meet the person on the other side, right?”

Her friend nodded. “Yup. It’s pretty sad, to know and talk with someone your whole life and never meet them.”

Emily just shrugged and carried on. But now the thought couldn’t escape her head. What if this person was her soulmate? And what if they never met? Could she really maintain contact with someone so far?

She looked down at the writing just in time to see a new line appear.

~My name is Elizabeth. What is yours?~

She bit her lip and wrote back.

*Emily. It is very nice to meet you, Elizabeth.*

She smiled and covered the letterings again. Elizabeth, huh? Even if she wasn’t her soulmate, Emily had a feeling this would become a beautiful friendship.

~~~

A few years had passed since their initial correspondence and the two girls had become fast friends. They told each other everything, from happenings at home to facts they learned to literature they shared. Currently, though, Emily’s friend was taking up her arm with doodling while she read.

Lately, she’d found interest in the Bronte sisters, particularly the works of Anne Bronte. At least she had some taste in men.

“So, has your soulmate written you lately?”

Emily didn’t look up. “Firstly, we’re not soulmates. Simply friends. Secondly, yes, in fact. Though, I had warned her you would be watching for some time.”

Her friend groaned. “Not fair! I had wanted to meet her!”

Emily laughed. “Perhaps you will, one day.”

A silence settled into the air, tense and palpable. “Have you told her?”

“No. Not yet. But I will.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

Her friend hummed, then stood from her seat. “I best be going. So long, Emi!”

Emily smiled and waved her off. “So long.”

“And don’t forget to write!”

“I won’t!”

Emily looked down at her arm, seemingly random lines connecting her freckles. She giggled and turned it over to write.

*She’s away.*

The reply didn’t take long at all.

~What constellation is that? I can’t find it on my star maps.~

*The freckle constellation. She was connecting the dots.*

~I see! So, you have freckles?~

*I do! My whole family has them. Do you have freckles?*

~No, sadly, but my tutors do. It always made me wonder how I would look.~

Emily sighed, her friend’s words echoing in her head. She had to tell Elizabeth about it. Why was she having such trouble doing so? It wasn’t as if they would cease contact. Elizabeth wouldn’t even know unless Emily told her.

*I have news.*

~Is it good news?~

*Neutral, at most. My father is moving us to a new city.*

~Oh, that sounds wonderful! Perhaps you would be closer?~

*Perhaps. But this city is very difficult to move from. I’m afraid the possibility of our meeting would dwindle.*

And there it was. The kicker. Emily braced herself to face Elizabeth’s reaction.

~That’s quite alright. To where will you be moving?~

That was… relatively painless. Honestly, the fear had been warping Emily’s perception a tad, but the calm reaction was still a shock.

*To Columbia.*

~~~

Columbia. Emily was moving to Columbia. That fact alone was startling, in and of itself. Elizabeth wrote quickly.

~When will you be moving?~

Her leg bounced, waiting with baited breath for the answer.

*Within a fortnight.*

Two weeks. She was moving even closer in two weeks!? Should she tell her? But if they don’t meet, she’ll start asking questions and there was no way Elizabeth could tell her how she couldn’t go anywhere or that her guardian was large and made of leather and Heaven knows she couldn’t tell her about tears! None of the girls in her books lived like that, so it couldn’t be normal at all. Oh, this was a disaster… What could she possibly say?

*Are you okay, Elizabeth? You’ve gone silent.*

~Yes, I’m just fine. I simply have news of my own I wish to share.~

Please let this be the right choice. Of course, she wouldn’t tell her everything. Just of a strict parent? Songbird could be overprotective and governing at times, Elizabeth could make it believable.

*Go ahead, Lizbet. I’m all ears.*

~I live in Columbia currently.~

The reply came instantly.

*Spectacular! We can finally meet!*

~Not exactly, Emily.~

*Whyever not?*

~It’s my guardian. He’s very strict. He doesn’t let me leave my home. Perhaps, someday…~

*I understand entirely. But at least we know we’re closer and that’s well enough for me.*

Elizabeth felt she could almost cry from both frustration and happiness. Just one step closer. A step closer to a real, true friendship with another person. Songbird and her tutors were well enough, but she still felt lonely at times. But Emily… she seemed to drive it all away. She didn’t feel lonely, writing to her. It just felt like having a real connection with someone for once.

~Thank you. You’re a true friend.~

*I can only hope that, one day, we’ll finally get the chance.*

~I agree. Yet still, I do hope you enjoy Columbia! Tell me all about it once you move, will you?~

*Of course! I wouldn’t dream of anything else!*

Elizabeth smiled and moved her sleeve to cover her arm again. One step closer.

~~~

The years passed by and both young girls grew up. Elizabeth whiled the days away, reading and listening to the phonograph and dreaming of Paris. Em experimented, made friends, dated, questioned the nature of humanity, and came to some very interesting conclusions about themselves. Neither met and both were fine with waiting, with spending their lives as they were, with very little change.

One day, without warning, Elizabeth’s tutors stopped showing up. That was just how things were.

One day, Emily tried on trousers and chopped off their hair and got rid of the “ily”, never going back. That was just how things were.

One day, Elizabeth and Em both tried and failed to write “I love you.” That was just how things were.

One day, Elizabeth drew a flower on her hand and Em filled it in with colored ink. That was just how things were.

One day, Em’s mom left and they struggled to make ends meet in Finkton for a year and a half before finally making it back to live on the mainland. That was just how things were.

One day, Em saw a man eating garbage, much to the disgust of a couple of oddly familiar gingers nearby, and laughed about it with Elizabeth. That was just how things were.

One day, Elizabeth stopped writing. That was not how things were.

One day, Em stopped writing. That was not how things were.

One day, Elizabeth said she was being taken somewhere and disappeared. That was not how things were.

One day, Em witnessed the razing of Finkton and disappeared. That was not how things were.

One day, neither felt like they were allowed to die, despite feeling the pain of the other dying. That was not how things were.

One day, Elizabeth wrote that she felt she was being watched. Thus began a new day.

~~~

An electric storm circled Emporia like an omen, bombs and gunfire ringing in the distance. Em looked upon the carnage surrounding the floating island. Red banners waved in the distance, a symbol of a righteous rebellion turned bloodthirsty. Something had happened. Something awful. Something that would drive the usually patient and willing Vox Populi to become vicious.

Was it just? Was it righteous? Was it necessary? Em wasn’t sure, but they were scared. If something had happened, it likely wouldn’t be long before the Vox gave into mob mentality. Had the innocent blood anything to say about it, they already had. But it wasn’t Em Tomlinson’s war, they knew that much. They understood where they lied on the rank of humanity. They were poor and a confirmed bachelor, but that didn’t change that their white skin got them a free pass out of Finkton and all the privilege another man of a darker tone or different accent couldn’t afford. This was not their war to fight, however much they wanted to help.

Em checked their arm, looking at the conversation written in long dried ink along the length.

~The Vox Populi are razing Finkton.~

*I can hear the gunfire. Are you okay?*

~I’ve done something awful.~

*It’ll be okay. We can fix this.*

~You don’t understand. I have to go.~

*Go? Go where? I know you’re scared, but can’t we make it together?*

~I’m sorry.~

*Wait. I have to tell you something. Before you go.*

~I’m so, so sorry.~

*I love you.*

Since then, it’s been blank. The ink would get smudged or chipped every now and again, but what ink didn’t? Em couldn’t stop reading it, over and over, questions churning in their mind. What had Elizabeth done? Why was she sorry? Where was she going? Was she okay?

They shoved their sleeve back over the writing, forcing themselves not to read it any longer. It would only cause doubts. Instead, they looked to the freight craft. It was taking Emporia refugees. With some stolen clothes, Em was trying to pose as one of Columbia’s elite.

“Sir, we have to depart!”

“Please, just one more minute. I’m certain she’s coming.”

“We don’t have much time!”

Other, similar pleas rang out around them, begging for more time or for the craft to go on without those who couldn’t or wouldn’t climb aboard.

Em turned back to face the stairs. Just one more minute.

“Please, Elizabeth. I know you’re out there. Come find me…”

The pilot spoke with booming voice, “Last call to board! Leave all possessions behind!”

Em stiffened and turned, preparing to climb aboard, when they heard a voice.

“Booker, we should help them.”

“We don’t have time to spread pity. Let’s move on.”

“Booker, please.”

They turned to spy two people. The first noticeable was a grizzled man, about middle aged, with the overall aura of an alcoholic who hadn’t had a proper drink in days. He was relatively stylish, but not in any conventional way. Probably a confirmed bachelor. The second, however, caught Em’s eye. Following him was a beautiful young woman with raven hair and brilliantly blue eyes, made only brighter by the deep navy dress she wore. She looked kind, if not tired and aged far beyond her years. In that aspect, the man and the woman resembled each other quite a bit.

Em screwed their courage to the sticking place and approached. Maybe one of them had seen Elizabeth. “Excuse me!”

Both looked to them, the man with a tired groan and the woman with a sympathetic expression. She must have seen the blood on their stolen clothes.

“Please, can you help me? It won’t take but a moment, I promise.”

The woman seemed to give the man a pointed look and he sighed, backing off. “What is it you need help with?”

“I’m looking for someone,” Em explained. “A young woman with dark hair past her shoulders, blue eyes, fair complexion. You probably haven’t seen her, but she means everything to me and I just want to make sure she’s alright.”

The woman nodded in understanding. “Do you know her name at all?”

They sighed, shaking their head. “Just her first, but it’s a very common name. Elizabeth? Does that ring any bells?”

As soon as Em said the name, the woman’s face fell. “That’s… my name.”

“As I said, common name. Now, have you- ...What are you doing?”

The woman was rolling up her left sleeve quickly, as fast as she could without completely tearing it. When she turned it over, though, Em immediately recognized the penmanship scrawled on her arm. With far less care, they ripped their own sleeve up to show a matching set of ink marks.

“Elizabeth…?” Em breathed out, tears pricking at the corners of their eyes.

Elizabeth slowly smiled, looking so tired. “I love you, too.”

They immediately tackled her into a hug, both parties laughing and crying simultaneously.

“You’re alive! You’re okay! Oh, Lizbet, I was so worried!”

“You were worried!? I was traversing Hell itself and I couldn’t stop thinking about you!”

The man from before cleared his throat behind Elizabeth. “Are ya done now? Can we get a move on? We got a schedule to keep.”

“Oh, right. Really quick, Booker? This is Em Tomlinson. They’re the one from the writing I showed you. Em, this is Booker DeWitt. He’s the one that helped me escape my tower.”

Em looked between them. “Oh, your dad?”

“Wha--”

“Nevermind. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. DeWitt.” They stuck out their hand in greeting and Booker shook it firmly.

“Charmed and it’s just Booker. Now, if we’re done here…”

“What are you both doing? If you’re headed to Emporia, it’s already been ransacked by the Vox.”

Booker groaned at the delay while Elizabeth answered. “We know. We’re going to put a stop to it, one way or another.”

“Only if that’s what it takes to get the Hell out of dodge, to Paris or New York or literally anywhere but here,” Booker clarified.

Em nodded. “Then I want to help.”

Elizabeth inhaled sharply. “But you were just about to--”

“That was before I knew you were definitely alive and doing what I didn’t have the courage to do alone. But if you’re wanting to end all of this, I’m willing to help.”

Elizabeth took their hands. “I won’t put you in harm’s way,” she said firmly.

Em looked to Booker. “Do you have a gun?”

“If you can fire one, I’m sure we can pick up something on our way through Emporia. If you plan on doing any fighting, you’ll need vigors.”

“Like you said, plenty in Emporia. I refuse to lose you again, Lizbet. I promise, we’ll make it through together.” Em lifted a hand to cup Elizabeth’s cheek and she leaned into the touch.

“Then that’s also a promise you’ll be safe?”

“Of course.”

Elizabeth nodded and pulled back, a stoney determination setting into her very being. “Then let’s find Comstock.”