#i just realized it’s the same person who was being fatphobic on my post about EDs too

[gayvampyr]

y’all piss me off im going to bed

[olderthannetfic]

I come here to rant about yet another piece of highly specific fandom drama. Hooray!

So I knew very well that there’s wank about Madeline Miller— I won’t say anything about it except I dislike the content of her books, though she has some decent prose— and in the horribly over-saturated space of Greek mythology retellings there’s plenty of wank, but today I found out that there is some surrounding Pat Barker, of all authors??

I didn’t like The Women of Troy, I read it when it first came out and thought it was dull, and as a Homeric superfan (let’s just say I put those high school Latin skills to good use eventually) I got tired of the interpretations, so when I was first confronted with the Pat Barker outrage posts I was like: well, as much as I enjoyed the Regeneration trilogy, and liked The Silence of the Girls (it wasn’t the most accurate but it was brutal and tragic, which fits in her war novelist repertoire nicely), I do think she should quit while she’s ahead and move on, instead of writing about Cassandra and Agamemnon or whatever she said she was going to publish next. But lo and behold— the wank is not about that, but rather that she is a horrible, reprehensible person because she is “fatphobic”. And I thought, well alright, it’s believable enough. Show me the evidence.

And the evidence is all… descriptions from her books. Well, one of her books. Which are written from, guess what, characters’ points of view 🤯 and those characters are… wait for it… often men fetishizing fat women. I have to admit, this got me a little confused. If you can’t understand that authors don’t necessarily share the same viewpoints as their characters— especially their ANTAGONISTS— should you really be reading books largely about rape and violence perpetrated against women and children?

I understand that some of the passages cited could make people uncomfortable, and if they do that’s an absolutely valid reason to put it down and read something else. But making the reader uncomfortable is kind of essential to the deconstructed war novel. I remember reading The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brian in high school English and being absolutely disgusted, but then realizing: that’s the point. War is gross! It’s uncomfortable when it’s not sanitized and watered down to be palatable for my brainwashed American constitution! And then I started loving war novels… and became a diehard pacifist, so that’s something.

Hopefully someone who reads this blog knows what I’m talking about. And honestly I hope to trigger a wave of mythology retelling rants because that would be very entertaining.

--

[emodennis]

im not in the clearest headspace so this will be fuzzy, but basically i love fat mac because i am also fat and have severe body dysmorphia, and being able to laugh at my problems helps a lot. much in the same way im mentally disabled and seeing the gang make fun of charlie for his own makes me laugh, it makes me happy in a weird way to know that the gang would treat me just as poorly as theyd treat anyone else. i think if the gang Werent super mean to mac for being fat, then that would be out of character for them, especially dennis and dee. but i would totally love to hear your perspective on it!!!! sorry if this sounded like gibberish aksjsjdjd

this makes total sense, dw. everyone deals with their problems differently, and i think this show can be especially cathartic/comforting for people for different reasons. and i don't want it to seem like i'm trying to take that away from anyone.

i agree that the gang not being mean to mac for being fat would be out of character, which is why i wish that plotline was just not in the show.

but basically, i have three major issues with fat mac: the reason behind him, his characterization, and the way the gang treats him/the way that the show expects the audience to think about him.

so we all know that rob wanted to satirize the fact that often characters on TV shows look better as they get older because the actors get richer and have the means to maintain/improve their appearance. so he wanted his character to look worse, aka fat. already stigmatizing from the outset.

additionally, we see mac get stupider, lazier, and hungrier in season 7, moreso than in any other season (although he does get stupider in later seasons due to flanderization. but the change from seasons 5/6 to 7 was drastic). i don't have all the examples for this off the top of my head- i was going to gather those for a more thought-out post, but i'm sure some come to mind. they basically turn him into a fat stereotype for a season, and then subdue those traits immediately once he loses the weight in season 8. and every time he's shown wanting/eating food, it's in a way where we're meant to laugh at the spectacle of a fat person being obsessed with eating. and i know that's the intention because of how they utilize the gang as the straight person/people in those scenarios. which brings me to my next point.

i tend to compare/contrast the fat jokes to the way they make fun of mac for his gay behavior- the gay jokes are funny because they’re making fun of him for not realizing that what he’s saying/doing is gay. it doesn’t come across like his being gay is a bad thing, because we know that the characters accept him for it. the fat jokes are meant to be in a similar format- they’re making fun of mac for not realizing he’s fat. the joke is supposed to be about his delusion. but the difference is that they hate his being fat. the gang plays the voice of reason in those scenarios, the audience surrogate. they’re supposed to reflect what we’re all thinking: mac is fat and he needs to realize he’s fat and lose the weight because it’s disgusting.

also from the podcast, we know that rcg have very mainstream (aka fatphobic) views of health, which are especially visible in the who's more healthier episodes. i'm not going to get into the science of why fat does not equal unhealthy, but a quick google search should explain why correlation does not equal causation (and even if a fat person is unhealthy, there's the whole "why should we harass/discriminate against people for being unhealthy" part too but that's another thing). anyway, it's pretty clear that rcg view being fat as a bad thing and it shows up in their writing.

i know this show perpetuates all sorts of bigotry, and fatphobia is just one thing on a long list. but i have a neurodivergent level of fixation on fighting fatphobia, so that's one of the battles i choose.

i accept (and on good days, love) myself for being fat. i don't find catharsis in fat jokes. they just piss me off and make me sad for all the fat people who are going to have to hear yet another message about why their bodies are bad.

(btw, most of this was just a general rant/explanation and not a direct response to your message. i wish you the best on your acceptance journey and i'm glad that fat mac helps you through it.)

[positively--speculative]

Has anyone noticed that people who start as mostly just fatphobic tend to quickly adopt other bigotries?

I tend to think back to a time when I wasted time arguing with horrible people, and I remember on another blog posting something about how dumb I thought fatphobia is and how no one is forcing anyone to find fat people attractive (which is usually what fatphobia comes down to...this entitled belief that fat people should change their bodies so they will find them more pleasing to look at), people just want to be able to exist in peace regardless of how their body appears, and this fatphobe commented with a hair-brained statement comparing existing as a fat person to being a streaker. Turns out, this person was spending their free time looking through the "fat positive" and "body positive" tags and commenting on pictures fat people posted of themselves with positive messages about feeling good about themselves. This person would comment with their unasked-for health "advice" and "nicely" let them know they needed to lose weight.

Now, I went back and forth with this person for a while (again, this was before I realized that talking to this kind of person brings nothing but grief as they tend to be hard-headed and don't like to be wrong), and in the beginning, this person labeled themselves a feminist and would acknowledge that she, as a white conventionally attractive young woman, was privileged. But it seemed during the course of our communication, she started to branch out from her fatphobia and started to pick up other phobias. She started reblogging some pretty gross anti-Isam shit and "all lives matter" bullshit. Then, she suddenly started to refuse to acknowledge her privileges. I knew this person completely lost it when she started unironically reblogging Milo Yiannopoulus videos. I stopped wasting my time.

And I still think about this...because this person started by just hating fat people. But when you really think about it, it makes sense. Fatphobia is rooted in misogyny and racism. Yes, there are fat white men who get shit for being fat, but you simply cannot strip that fact away. So, when you have a person who genuinely believes they are helping fat people (or has convinced themselves that's what they're doing instead of straight up hating), that person is probably going to follow similar-minded people, and THOSE people are likely going to at least have some racist and misogynistic tendencies because it's all connected. And eventually, because this is how it works, that person is going to be suggested some really vile blogs... straight-up racist, misogynistic, queerphobic, etc.-centered blogs.

And YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and other apps work the same. Watch a few "weight loss transformation" videos, and you'll likely be guided to straight-up fatphobia content which will eventually lead to other content that centers on all the other bigotries.

So, when someone is fatphobic, I always assume that they're probably racist, misogynistic, queerphobic, etc., because it's never about health or compassion (if it was about health, these people would be sharing health advice that wasn't necessarily completely centered around weight loss). It's about controlling and policing other people's lives, which is what bigotry is all about.

Just a note: I'm not necessarily against a person's decision to lose weight. What I am against is the idea that you can assess someone's health without a license to practice medicine just by looking at them and making assumptions. And I am against the idea that weight loss is the only way to be healthy. I also think we should be talking about the other benefits of exercise such as how it can make us feel. I believe we should be teaching people that health comes in different sizes and it's really none of anyone's business anyway.

[chaoskirin2]

You know what’s super tiring about fatphobia?

EVERYONE has it. If you’re fat or you’ve ever been fat, you realize this. And it’s not really intentional. That’s the worst thing.

Well, some people are intentionally fatphobic. There’s a lot of assholes who post on Twitter that there’s no way fat people can be healthy and they’ll keep telling fat people they’re not healthy, but those aren’t the ones I’m talking about.

I’m talking about chair manufactures, for example. Who advertise chairs as being able to accommodate up to 350 lbs. but the seat is too narrow to sit on. They’ve reinforced the FUCK out of it, but the seat is exactly the same size as all their other chairs. When I contacted the company about this, they told me that they had chairs for heavier people, and I should have picked one of those. (I had.) They wouldn’t give me a refund unless the chair was defective.

So now I have a chair that bruises my thighs and I can’t afford a new one. 

I’m talking about clothing makers, who don’t know how to make clothes for people over 175 lbs., and most of all, they don’t know how to make clothes for fat women. I found a jacket online that I wanted. I took my measurements. The site suggested I order a 2X. 

Having had experience with clothes being too small before, I went ahead and ordered a 5x. 

The jacket doesn’t close. The shoulders are tight. The sleeves almost reach my knees for some reason. 

When I go to a concert, the chairs are so small and close together that I am UNCOMFORTABLY close to other people. The best time I had at a concert was getting a seat right at the end of a row. 

These are just a few examples. 

Also, if you’ve read this far, I guarantee some of you are thinking, “wow, you should just lose weight.” and this is what my doctor has told me for 20+ years. Problem is, when I finally got so ashamed of my weight that I went to a weight loss doctor and told her “look, I’ve starved myself, I used to play sports like a fiend, and I ran until I got so fat that I sprained my knee” she sat me down and did a bunch of tests.

And it turns out, I have insulin resistance. 

That means, no matter what I did, no matter how much I punished myself, no matter how much I starved myself or exercised, I would not ever lose weight. Not without help. 

This went undiagnosed for 20 years! “Diet and exercise” were prescribed as a solution that would NEVER WORK. Because my family doctor didn’t believe I’d tried already.

And I’m sure some of you reading this far are thinking “oh, well you’re an ‘acceptable’ fat person then.” 

But the truth is, either we’re all acceptable, or none of us are. You can’t make chairs or clothes that fit for “acceptable” fat people and not for people who are fat because they overeat or don’t exercise or, hell, just like the way they look. 

I have a hard time living life because of this type of fatphobia, where the world doesn’t care whether or not I’m comfortable or taken care of. If I want to lose weight, I have to have a specific part of my stomach removed. I need to not absorb 70+% of what I eat. If I don’t do this, I don’t get to be comfortable. 

I shouldn’t have to get surgery to be able to live comfortably. And I think about this a lot, especially when people tell me that “thinphobia” is a thing, or that it’s equally as bad as fatphobia. I don’t think people actually understand that sometimes I’m not able to thrive because of how things exist, whether it be because of ignorance or outright malice. It sucks. 

And there’s always a risk to surgery, even if it’s small. I’m scared. But if I don’t do this, I’ll be unhappy for the rest of my life.

[tarajenkins]

Another private little FFXIV-related vent--well, little for me, lol. So if you click this link, it’s quite politely your own fault  ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝ ♡

BUT

I sub to Vauthry's mentions and tag on Twitter, because occasionally there's actually content, and occasionally, I actually remember that my Twitter account exists. I’m pretty sure that’s why people go there, for content. Twice in the course of this week, though, his mentions have brought randos who seem to be talking about me, unless there’s another overactive Vauthry artist on Tumblr. I’m also like 98% of the Vauthry art on Twitter, so it’s probably me? But even if it’s not me, that still brings us to these thoughts under this break.

(Nice ableism, but even if this was not aimed at me, who takes psych evals from internet shitlords)

They call “simping Vauthry” "cringe" while the entirety of their account rotates around how thirsty they are for the latest FFXIV flavor of the month. The most hilarious thing is, they still reblogged my Hyth art here on Tumblr. Me, a “cringe” Vauthry artist. Tell me you're a fatshaming clown without telling me you're a fatshaming clown, welcome to the block list.  It doesn’t take confidence to “simp” a fat character. I am not a confident person. It also doesn’t take “insanity”.  All it takes is not thinking that enjoying a fat character is some OH MY GOD SHAMEFUL thing. All it takes is not being an asshole about fat people. 

I’m an asshole in other ways.  ʅ₍ッ₎ʃ  (And yes, 4 a.m. currently seems to be “morning” to my insomniac mind.) Since it turned out we shared a mutual, I assume that's why they deleted later.

In which the unique “other characters look like shit!!1” defense is also played, seriously fandom why are you like this

So the actual poster mentioning a Vauthry artist is upset about "proshipping"? I don't even know what that means. Wait a sec-- Ah, “proshipper” apparently means that the artist in question must think “antishippers” are shitty bullies. Reading comprehension really is on the downturn in this fandom. But guilty as charged if it’s me! \o/

In any case, apparently this would make me unqualified to call out all the hypocritical shit I've directly experienced regarding this character over the past two years, lmao.

As of now, that post has disappeared too, at least. I can always hope they realized they were wrong.

I am fix-it arting the shitty fatphobic dump Square took on the game with Eulmore for my own enjoyment and relief. To pretend that the writers really didn’t sink to such a  juvenile level, to pretend the fandom at large didn’t accept it. That’s all. But there are people who really have to come seek it out to point and laugh. "The girl on Tumblr who simps for Vauthry” is used like it’s an insult, while  every other character is received as :) teehee hello fellow simper! (I also still have no idea how stating “Tempering babies in the womb is fucked up” equals simping, lol.) My vents against certain other characters lie solely in their actions and how the writers handle them. The vents of others against Vauthry, though, always manage to boil down to “grossness” and “disgust”, because Yoshi-P said fat people equal all the evil of mankind in the ShB trailer--and the fandom bought it with no questions asked. There are even still people who scream Eulmore had slavery, even though the dialogues clearly state “hired” and "employed” and speak of salaries--yet somehow legitimate fascist fantasy empires are uwu forgivable uwu.  Giving a fat character the same level of consideration that fandom darling characters receive--it's such an audacious idea, isn’t it? This is the “great community”. My anger at the bodyshaming has been tone-policed before, and I was called “too mean” by someone who felt that invalidated the points they admitted I made. Meanwhile at that time, some jackass sagenodded that bullying fat people was ~just concern for their wellbeing~ without backlash. That didn’t count as “mean”. Fat jokes about Vauthry on /r/FFXIV sometimes still make the sub’s front page to this day. That doesn’t count as “mean”.

Everyone wants to be so progressive and positive about Dulia-Chai, but crickets when this happens, every time. 

When I got angry about a certain fandom darling character, and said that character chose their actions? People were encouraged to not follow me/unfollowed me. (Turns out said character did have choice after all, short one “little tug”. Oopsie!) No negativity in this fandom is allowed--unless someone is being fatphobic, then the fandom will hold their flower and instead tell the people who are angry about it that they’re being ~too mean~. It’s a bad look, FFXIV fandom. Reblogging Dulia is great, but not equally discouraging fat hate no matter the character is telling.

Sure, I could unsub from the Twitter mentions and tags. But why should I? Sure, I could grin and bear it--these tweets weren’t the only ones over two years. But why should I? How about the fandom do more than pay lip service on how ~welcoming~ and ~inclusive~ it is, instead? Because it has a really obvious problem with fat bodies, and Dulia is not a free pass. It isn’t an aberration to have interest in a fat character. It especially isn’t a goddamn fetish. The problem is the people who see it as an aberration, and assume a fetish is the only way you could possibly ever give a damn about a fat person.  It’s not that hard, FFXIV fandom. 

TL;DR: Don't be shy, bring it to my face next time! I promise I will gladly return the favor. ( ᐛ )b  

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

TW ableism, body shaming, fatphobia, gaslighting mention, accusing someone of faking stuff and manipulation ///////////

I appreciate the post you made not too long ago about peoples disability being "enough" (idk if the quotes are correct to put, I put them there because all disabilities are valid and putting "disability" and "enough" in the same sentence isnt a gr8 thing Hdhdjhdkd)

But yeah, I need to get rid of my internalized ableism as well, it also comes from trauma and although I validate others disabilities no matter what, what I say about my own can reflect onto others, and I'd hate for that to effect (affect???) people.

I had a horrible friend group once who gaslit me into thinking i was faking my fibromyalgia for attention/using it as an excuse to be lazy and fat (I'm very much fat but LOL fuck them.) Or using my brain fog and pain as an excuse to be a shitty person and such. I developed a horrible case of imposter syndrome bc I believe it all, it sucks. I feel like a manipulative, compulsive liar that only uses people and that my disability really is made up and all in my head (they especially say that about fibromyalgia) and they said I'm just obsolete and that's why I'm in pain.

It's strange because, why would you make me feel bad about being obese if I was obese? Why is being big so frowned upon?? Why is it that thin people get cared for WAY more easily compared to bigger people who are suffering? (But btw, to clarify, body shaming is horrible, and I'm not denying that thin people suffer too, I hate that society is horrid towards anyone)

SORRY JUST RAMBLING TO YOU ALL HOPE YOU DONT MIND I JUST FELT VALIDATED BY THAT AND I APPRECIATE IT.

Correct me on anything I've said please!

(Agreeing with you)

It's really dumb because fatphobia is rooted in being unhealthy. The whole idea behind being an ass to fat people is because "it's unhealthy".

The fact that fat isn't an indicator of health aside.

They're literally putting someone's value in their health.

They're literally looking at fat people and saying "you have less value because you're unhealthy".

What are us disabled people supposed to say/ think when we see this fatphobic society pointing at fat people and calling them less than because they're unhealthy?

Not to mention, a lot of people are fat because of their disability, but the opposite is also true. A lot of disabled people are skinny because of their disability. At my worst I couldn't hold down food for days on end because of my migraines. DAYS without eating. I wasn't just skinny, I was hella out of shape because I couldn't exercise because I couldn't move because I couldn't eat.

I'm not trying to compare my experience to yours. Obviously fat disabled people get more shit from doctors and society because they're fat.

But since the vomiting was the worst symptom for my, I felt like ignoring my weight because I was skinny was equivalent to ignoring the worst part about my disability.

I also just feel gaslit by society because everyone calls migraines a headache disorder, when it's a neurological disorder where headaches aren't even the most common or the most severe symptom. A lot of my internalized abelism was people calling migraines "just a headache" and it took me years to realize and accept that the headache wasn't even the worst part. Depending on the severity, I could deal with just the headache. The WORST part is the vomiting, vertigo, and the fatigue for days after.

One migraine was so bad I had a bruise down my back for 2 weeks after because I fell on my desk trying to get my meds, and I ended up crawling to my meds.

(That doesn't include the memory issues because that's a whole nother post.)

-fae

[taeslovehandles]

I never meant to target you and I'm sorry you felt that way. You properly tag everything and adhere to the "don't like, don't read" rule. I don't follow you nor you follow, because we simply don't vibe together and that's okay.

But there are posts that are on the more "innocent" side that do represent fat people as a joke and it's like they don't even realize it because it's something so well ingrained in our fatphobic society.

For example, all the characters are having fun except the fat one or referring to someone as "twice his size" (like... If they want to say he's huge, they should just say it, not imply that there's a "right size" for someone to be).

I don't think authors should censor themselves, just acknowledge the role they play in how fat characters are perceived by the community they write for.

-🍓

First of all, since you obviously haven’t blocked me, you could have come to me via direct message. This is not a topic that needs to be brought out into the public eye even more than it already is. I have worked with anons before, I would have been the last person to reveal who you are. You could have made a trash account to message me in dm’s, but since you didn’t, I will reply to you here.

I want to make one thing clear. This will be my last response on the topic. If you do not like me as a member of the community please use the block button and filter me out, because I will stay. I have many friends here, and know that many people enjoy my content. Just because a small handful of people don’t appreciate dark themes in fiction, the contents of which they can easily protect themselves from, won’t make me falter.

Now, I want to debunk this ask because your ‘apology’ actually made me very upset.

I know you don’t mean it when you say you are sorry because you’re backpedaling on what you’ve told your friends and it really rubs me the wrong way. You could have owned up to your mistakes and apologized sincerely like others had but you continue to play victim and excuse your behaviour with tales of your own trauma, projecting your own insecurities onto my blog and thus hating me.

I know for a fact that you despise my blog, especially my writing, because you do not like how “obviously skinny people write about weight gain.”

Honey.

I couldn’t be any further from skinny.

I don’t mind sharing my actual weight, which has actually gotten worse due to COVID. I weigh 490lbs. I am morbidly obese. I have always been morbidly obese. For you to come and be “nitpicky” about a genre you don’t even enjoy? Why are you even reading my fics then?

The way I write about obese people, their struggles with literally everything… that comes from real life experience. I write this to share embarrassing and exhausting daily life tasks I personally struggle with.

A skinny person would never write some of the stuff I do, because they simply don’t know. They don’t know how scary it is to hear the line “we are going to a restaurant.” They don’t know how scary it is to go into that new restaurant, scan the chairs and think “Shit, am I gonna fit? Is the chair gonna creak? Is there enough space for the next table? What if I won’t fit?” A thin person doesn’t have to think this way.

And, let me tell you something else. Yes, I agree. The world is fatphobic.

In one of my recent posts I talked about movies and shows where they make fun of fat people because I hate it. Because it is REAL LIFE. And I am all for the body positivity movement and I do believe that all bodies are beautiful, because they are.

You do not know me personally.

And that leads to my next point. If you personally have issues with the phrase “twice my size”, then that is on you. And guess what? I cannot count how often I’ve heard lines like that my whole life.

“Oh wow two people would fit in one of your pant legs.”

“Wow, you are so fat, I could use your pants as a tent.”

So trust me, I know. I KNOW. But anon, this is the important part for me. Everyone processes trauma differently.

Inked ch3? Or literally any story I have written with a fat character being forced, insulted and talked down to like they’re dumb? That’s what I have been living with my entire life. Most of these stories, some obviously more extreme than how I had experienced them since it’s fiction, have been recordings of trauma I have went through.

My own dad force fed me. Forced me to eat food and gain weight. My first boyfriend was a feeder that manipulated me into gaining more weight and took measurements. Called me pig names and abused me. Hit me, manipulated me into having s** with him and then let all of his fantasies out on me.

I don’t make this shit up. I hate my brain for being so twisted now, that I actually find it hot and arousing. It’s weird. I know, but that’s how it is.

I’ve also never had friends in school. Not even kindergarten. Why? Because my “fat incased body could spread like a virus.” I was being bullied like JK was in Pondus.

I had hot water thrown at me, got glue put on my seats and hair, had my hair ripped out and even got a cigarette burn mark on my arm. Just because I was fat. Just because of how my body was shaped.

I was strangled and locked into a small locker for a night. I was almost killed for running away from my abusive dad from his car and had to listen to things like, “You are going to die when you are 30. No one will ever love you and your body.” That I have trust issues now and am paranoid about everything and everyone.

Those dark stories. I use those dark stories to try to work through my trauma. And yes, it may be absurd to you. It may disgust you, what I write. But sadly, most of it? Most of it really happened to me. To me and other people I’ve talked to as a friend or seen online. Most of what I write will be dark because the human species is made up of terrible creatures.

Fatphobia is an important topic, and I am happy the media has been slowly getting better about it, that people accept us more. But my writing is how I work with my trauma. If I can make fictional characters feel the same things I had to feel, that makes me feel better.

And I’m not hurting anyone with it. So how is it wrong?

I do not support any of this behaviour in real life. I never bullied anyone, I always try to speak up for my friends and tell people if they are being assholes. Because I hate them too and it makes me angry when good people get shit when they do nothing but breathe.

And how @pudgecuddles already said. I don't need you to advocate for body positivity and all that shit when you go out of your way to bully someone that may have experienced the same shit you have. I do not know you or what you went through in your life, but I am sorry. I’m sorry you feel like my stories aren’t okay to write, but this is how I work on my trauma and I need you to respect that.

I’ve said this before. We don’t have to be friends, or even talk to each other.

Just be neutral.

Block me. Filter me out. Pretend I don't exist. But, whatever you do, don’t make posts that call me out while making it obvious you’re talking about me, with the cover that you are advocating against fatphobia. That’s got a name. Cyber-bullying.

Have you hurt me with those posts? Yes you have, but I’ve never wanted bad blood. As you may have noticed, it wasn’t me that made a post. It was my good friend. Because I told her how exhausting it was and she knew about the posts back then.

I have a good idea of who you are.

I remember you.

But I kept my mouth shut. Because this community is my home and the last thing I wanted was for the people who like both of our types of content to feel like they have to choose sides.

In the end, we all rub one out to fat gay boys in a band. No user is better than the rest, and if there are topics you do not enjoy, there is a button for it. No need to drag everyone into it with posts. It’s exhausting and irritating.

Now, I do not accept your apology because you lied to me and I also do not feel like you meant it sincerely knowing what I know now after reading some dm’s. But I also won’t sit here and start shit.

This is my last post about this.

Please block me and enjoy the content you do like.

Nonetheless, I hope you have a nice day and a lovely weekend. Whatever you are experiencing or going through, I hope it gets better. Because even if you hate me personally for creating content you do not support, I’d say that I am a really friendly and nice person.

I do not believe that anyone deserves to be bullied like that and talked down in official posts. It happened before with a friend of mine and you probably remember that I did speak up about it.... But apparently no one learned from it. I really hope this time you do.

Insult me and shit talk me all you want in dm’s, but don’t do it publicly. No one deserves that kind of hate or passive aggressiveness. No one. Since you sound like someone that went through a lot of shit too, you should know better. You should know how it feels to be bullied and what damage it can cause.

I’m already depressed enough and I have bad lows. Let me write my erotica and just enjoy it? That’s all I want? I am a part of this community just like you were. You leaving because you did not like my content, is not my problem. If you cannot block me or ignore it and go so far as to read them and then rant about them negatively, what do you want me to do? I won’t leave the scene just because you don’t like me.

So, you either trash talk me in dm’s from now on so that I do not see it, or you block me. The latter of which would be the more mature thing to do. The more humane thing to do. Because talking behind someone’s back is just as bad.

Again, I don’t know why you felt like it was necessary to send me an ask with lies in it when I got screenshot proof of something else you have said/issues with, so don’t backpedal on me. I know Hun. I know already.

At least stick to what you said and actually apologize or, if you can’t, just block me.

But this ask? This ask just upset me.

Have a nice day.

p.s: The fact that this even needs to be talked about is so absurd and ridiculous to me. The whole thing is a petty party in my eyes that isn't even worth anyone's time? Do people on here really not have any other issues right now or am I in the wrong movie?

[adultswim2021]

The Groovenians | November 10, 2002 - 10:30 PM | Special

First, there was Lewis Lectures. Then there was The Finkel Files. Now... there’s this. The Groovenians. A brand new low from your pals at Adult Swim.

From popular street artist Kenny Scharf (subject of a new documentary coming out later this month, too late for me to see before press time) comes this failed pilot about a couple of free-spirit artist types who just wanna act all freely-spirited and artsy. Unfortunately their normy families (they *sorta* seem like brother and sister but they also seem like romantic partners? Not sure if this whole thing is a libertarian pro-incest fable) have DIFFERENT plans for them, and are trying to get them to stop their bohemian rhapsody and CONFORM, CONFORM, CONFORM. 

The pilot tells this enormously simplistic story about two young starry-eyed lovers who just wanna do art and reject pragmatic social constructs of working a bad job and starting a despicable nuclear family. Yes, in the world of the Groovenians there’s no happy medium between expressing your artistic nature and glumly participating in your oppressive capitalistic society. So they flee on a rocket ship to go to a new planet, which is probably called Groovenia. Please, don’t make me rewatch any part of this to find this out.

The show has an impressive cast, including Paul Rubens, Dennis Hopper, Vincent “eBay’s wayward son” Gallo and RuPaul. It’s also got a bitchin’ opening song by the B-52s. But it’s animated all nasty with computer animation, and the script is mind-numbingly awful. It’s not just NOT funny, but it’s also childish and boring. The main characters main motivation is to just be artsy and creative and so you see them doing artsy creative things that seem like they’d just be annoying. Like, if you went to an open mic you’d expect poetry, music, stand-up comedy, mentally-ill street people having an emergency that is mistaken for performance art, etc. But If two beaming dopes just went up on stage dressed like flowers throwing paint around and saying hollow-sounding shit like “CUCKOO-COSMIC, MY MAN!” you would probably blush, boo, or leave (probably all three).

This is the problem with shows or movies or whatever about artist-types: their art is never supposed to be the focus of the story. Just the sheer fact that they’re artistic is what’s supposed to endear you to them. It seems like it’d make all the sense in the world for there to be a particular art project as the focus; some goal that the characters are trying to achieve. Here we’re just asked to root for a personality trait staying in tact. And, we’re supposed to give a shit about this personality trait when it’s threatened. It’s all so shallow.

I personally have known a small handful of people who had an obnoxious penchant for constantly bragging about how artistic they were being, how much art they were doing, etc. Their art is usually unimpressive and lame, and they are usually one of the most insufferable types you can run across. I don’t particularly like what I’ve seen of Kenny Scharf’s art, but I don’t particularly like street art in general so maybe I’m destined to miss the point with him no matter what. But a no-talent artist who has inexplicable success would, of course, have the same attitudes about art that the main characters have in this pilot. I’m just saying, that’s what the script feels like. I am not directly accusing anyone of being bad at art from this glass house.

This aired one more time on Cartoon Network proper, because I think they realized it could pass for a kid’s show. That’s probably a better fit, but it sure did fail there too, didn’t it?

MAIL BAG:

London Arbuckle writes:

The Groovenians should really just be Lost Media. Like it should just exist only as a single still-frame on a youtube video where some monotone-voiced man humorlessly reads the plot summary and credits, and recounts every minor lead from some animator's ancient livejournal post . And then like three years later he makes an update about how it's FINALLY been found and it links to a Vimeo upload of the whole thing that gets about 18 views max. That's my review of The Groovenians.

This is perfect. Yes! And the comments on the video are like, “was hoping this would be as bad as the Rapsittie Kids Christmas, but it’s just boring. Too bad!”

Anonymous writes:

I've never seen Steven Universe but after watching the Groovenians I imagine that's what that show is like. They just replaced Vincent Gallo with Tom Scharpling.

I’m not here to quibble with facts, so I’ll say that you’re “close enough”, except this show by having only one fat character that’s MEAN (the dad voiced by Dennis Hopper) it’s implicitly fatphobic which Steven Universe is not. Every character on Steven Universe is huge

Anonymous writes:

Do you like Garfunkle and Oates? Their first album was a little to "in-jokey" for me but when Slippery When Moist came out in 2012 I think they came into their own, artistically and comedically. The whole album has a rauchy light-hearted sound that really make the whole thing work. They have been compared to Stephen Lynch but I think Garfunkel and Oates have a far-more genial but irreverent tone.

what the fuck is this

[cecilbaldwin-fan]

“The First Ten Years”: my thoughts

Updated: this is the review I wrote at Goodreads. Amazon won’t let me write a review, because apparently my account isn’t verified or some shit.

I have followed Meg and Joseph's artistic careers for a while, both through Welcome to Night Vale and the New York Neo-Futurists, so I was very excited to read this book, and I was not disappointed. It was moving, it was funny, and it offered quite a few insights into Meg and Joseph’s personalities and their life together. Both are very intelligent and insightful, and obviously very much in love with each other.

The book has a lot to say about change and growing up, adapting to new things together, falling in love with each other all over again as you find yourselves in a new place. There are fights and difficulties, but the story is generally very joyful and uplifting. Fights are not described in too much detail, and happy moments are given more weight. I found it interesting that they often don’t mention the same exact events. A small moment that meant a lot for Joseph might not be in Meg’s story at all, and vice versa. This makes you think about memory, how our emotions shape the things we remember.

This is Joseph’s first nonfiction book, and while I found his writing moving and vulnerable, I would say Meg is the stronger writer of this format. Her bits were raw, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud funny. That said, Joseph’s recollections of his father’s death are perhaps the most moving part of the book.

I felt a strong connection with Meg. Her painful relationship with her body was particularly relatable to me. She discusses her eating disorder, substance abuse issues, and insecurities about her body very openly. I also have an eating disorder and recognize that ongoing anxiety, as well as the negativity and hatred people throw at fat women. Joseph's kindness and acceptance of her body was something that made me happy; other guys could learn from that. But there’s something more to that feeling of connection with Meg, maybe just being a woman in this world. I recognized the fears when Trump won the election, for instance. When Meg said that living in a woman's body puts you at risk, I felt that deeply. I would be curious to know if a guy would feel more of a connection with Joseph instead.

There were a few parts I didn’t find it so relatable. For instance, I haven’t traveled much and have never been to the US. They talk a lot about very specific New York and New Jersey things, and I simply don’t have the frame of reference for those bits. Since I haven't gotten married, some of those thoughts felt more distant for me as well.

I found the earlier years were more interesting than the later ones, for some reason. Possibly because their relationship became more stable and they settled into a routine. However, Meg’s letter to their possible future child was a highlight. She is now expecting said child - talk about impeccable timing!

I was surprised by how little Night Vale stuff there was. I thought it would be this huge thing in their lives, but they talk mostly about the practical side of things, like the strain of constant touring. I started to question whether Night Vale was a bigger thing for me and other fans than it was for them. Of course, much of the Night Vale stuff was between Joseph and Jeffrey and Cecil, not between Joseph and Meg. That might be why it’s slightly on the backburner. Meg also writes about her work with the Neo-Futurists, which I personally found very interesting. You don’t need to be in the theatre scene to enjoy these bits, but it probably helps if you're into art in general.

The main thing that I felt was missing were photos. It would have been nice to see Meg in the outfits she describes, and perhaps some early selfies from before the Night Vale tours. Joseph describes a specific photo in detail, and it feels a bit odd to not actually see it.

All in all, I’m happy they wrote this book and that I got to read it. Maybe there will be another book in the next 8 years. Night Vale fans will obviously get a lot out of this story, but I would imagine it’s relatable for anyone who’s been in a long relationship, especially artists.

More personal thoughts under the cut. 

I realized I have a lot in common with Joseph. I’m anxious and messy, I love fiction, I get nervous and stressed about everything. In other things, I’m not like him: I’m not good at making big changes, I don’t have have great confidence in my work. Meg says the world would be a better place if all artists had Joseph’s confidence.  

Despite the similarities with Joseph, I felt more connected with Meg. We definitely don’t have as much in common. She’s neat and organized and wants to be in control. I’m messy and unorganized, and I like when other people are in control. Meg likes running and working out, I don’t. Meg loves to cook, I just love to eat. We do share a fear of change and a tortured body image. 

Meg says she’s been a size 6 and a size 26; I’ve been ca. size 20 for the last ten years, and never really lost weight. I’d like to say I’ve had it harder, with my apple shaped body and not-so-pretty face, but reading the book, I don’t know. I think she’s so beautiful, and she really doesn’t talk about herself that way.  

I’m used to reading a story that goes from fat and sad and weak to slim and confident and strong, and I honestly hate that story and was worried I would have to read it in this book 

The book could easily have been very triggering if she had chosen to do that. Instead, I found an intensely relatable writer who wrote about her body at various sizes with that trademark self-deprecating wit. Sometimes she mentions insecurities regarding her body, other times she says nothing at all about it. There’s no “that year I was xxx pounds and then I went down to xxx pounds and here’s how I lost the weight and I feel great now” blabla. 

I saw her use phrases like “fatphobic” and “thin privilege”, and referring to herself as “fat”. To me, these are signs of allyship. She’s obviously done some reading into the topic and given it a lot of thought. Her painful relationship with her body is something most women can relate to. Joseph is shown to be a caring and compassionate husband who has no issue with her changing body. (Her blonde phase, however...) 

They mention they think of Helsinki as an “exhausted city”, because they were exhausted there. But I can say as a Finn that Helsinki really is exhausting. Nice to visit for a day, but wouldn’t want to live there. I was glad that there were a few mentions of Helsinki. Finland is never this exotic location that stands out, for anyone. Certainly not for people who have visited Australia and Hawaii.  

Thats about all I have to say today. Maybe I’ll add some thoughts later when I re-read the book. I just really wanted to post this today .

[colbybrocksmolder]

Damage Control - Colby Brock x Reader (plus size/curvy)

“Welcome to the show, guys. Settle in.” The interviewer welcomed Sam and Colby.

They had been doing bits the last few weeks. Driving up the coast, they had hit 15 or 16 different creator studios to participate in partnered videos. It was crazy and hectic, but it was so cool to see them get so much media attention.

As the interview continued, the guys relaxed quite a bit. The host and the company were super chill, and they had been laughing for about 40 minutes straight.

“In the next segment, I’m going to read off a word and you have to tell me the first funny story that comes to mind, okay?” The host directed.

“Oh, hell yea.” Colby replied, Sam adding an “Oooo this could get juicy.”

After the first few words, the next word asked was “pets”.

Colby immediately turned to Sam with a huge grin on his face, “Dude, should I talk about the…the doggy door?”

“Oh, my god. YES, that’s way funnier than dyeing Circa pink.” Sam laughed. “Y/n is going to kill you”, he teased, clapping his hands and throwing his head back in a fit of laughter.

“Oh, no” the host chuckled. “Okay, out with it!”

“Okay, okay. Oh, my god I have to stop laughing. So, we all used to live in this big house called the Trap House with some of our friends. THEN we spent the following year all separate in our own apartments. Well this last month Sam, Jake, and I and all three of our girlfriends moved into another pretty large house. Y/n, my amazing girlfriend, technically moved in before the rest of us. She’s good at like decorating and organizing and she had to be there to like tell delivery people and workers where to go.” Colby rambled, trying to explain and give context. “So, Jake had gone over to drop some stuff off. Well while he was there, he didn’t realize that y/n was in the back yard and he accidentally locked her out of the house before he left.” Colby chuckled, burying his face in his hands for a second. “Oh, man. This next part is partially my fault.”

“Colby, it was 100% your fault.” Sam laughed.

“Okay, so all MY fans watching this video” Colby looked right at the camera before continuing, “know that my girlfriend is not a skinny girl.” He said casually. “You guys all know her from my last 6 months of videos on my personal channel. For anyone else watching this who maybe doesn’t know who we are or who y/n is, my girl got curves.” Colby mimed the hourglass waist shape with his hands.

Sam cut in, turning to Colby. “Side note, I found out yesterday that y/n’s number is in Kat’s phone under the name ‘baby mama’.”

Colby laughed, “Dude, Kat’s name in Y/n’s phone is way worse.” He laughed, clearing his throat. “That’s a story for another day.”

“Oh, god.” Sam laughed.

‘Okay, okay. Back to my original story.” Colby continued. “When Y/n got locked out of the house, she couldn’t get ahold of Jake. When she called me to see if I was anywhere close to the house, I reminded her that she had JUST had someone install a doggy door because we wanted to get a house dog. I may or may not have suggested that she try to crawl in through the doggy door.”

“Wait, wait, wait. I was in the car with you. Your exact words were ‘Baby, just shimmy that fat ass through the doggy door. You’ll fit. I PROMISE.” Sam called him out, laughing. “Don’t worry, Y/n. I was there. This is totally Colby’s fault.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side, brother!” Colby laughed. “Okay, fine. I definitely told her it would work and it definitely didn’t. And if anyone remembers Y/n doing an Instagram live saying she was bored and waiting for me to get home…The tile you saw her laying on is directly inside our doggy door. She managed to get the girls through the door no problem.” Colby said, holding his pecs to indicate he was talking about her boobs. “But getting her hips through or getting the girls BACK OUT proved to be impossible without a little help from yours truly.” He grinned, pointing his thumbs at himself.

“We made it to the house like 15 minutes later and she was literally half in/half out of the doggy door.” Sam said.

“We all laughed so much it took us like 15 more minutes to get her out.” Colby laughed, rubbing his cheeks. “My face hurts from laughing.”

“At least it sounds like you guys are going to enjoy sharing a house again.” The host said, chuckling at the story. “I’m sure everyone is looking forward to you guys getting back to prank videos and group shenanigans.”

The interview continued on, the boys finally ending their travels the following week and making it back to the house. When that specific interview came out, Colby had called you into your shared bedroom to watch it.

“Oh, god. This is the doggy door one, isn’t it?” you laughed, the boys having told you the same day as the interview that they had told the story.

“Of course.” Colby chuckled, pulling you down on the bed to cuddle with him. He pulled you against him, making you the little spoon and grabbed the remote to play the video on your bedroom tv. You two laughed your asses off, Colby tweeting out the interview and you two moving on with your day.

No one in your house thought twice about anything in that video causing any drama. You’d always been a big girl and Colby didn’t see a single problem with it. So, when you woke up to all of your friends texting you two links to drama pages criticizing Colby for telling the story, you were completely caught off guard. There were videos made saying that Colby was fatphobic or a bully. There were articles written about how embarrassed you must be that your boyfriend doesn’t think you’re skinny.

You opened up the massive group text you guys and your friends used for updates and important shit instead of trying to text everyone back. “Hey, I’m gonna wake Colby up so I can ask him how he wants to handle this bullshit. The pizza night kickback is still happening tonight. Everyone can head over whenever they want because I have a feeling we won’t be leaving the house today.”

You fucking loved the friends you had made through Colby.

Kevin – Your man is proud as hell to show you off. Anyone trying to twist this into some body shaming bullshit needs to hand over their internet access immediately.

Elton – The idiocy of these articles is actually hurting my brain. So, they think Colby was being a bad boyfriend by calling you “not a skinny girl”, but nowhere in the articles are they concerned that Sam admitted to masturbating while wearing Heelys. Priorities, people.

Corey – Do I have permission to post a photo on Instagram of my juicy ass stuck in Navi’s doggy door? Too soon? #toolate

Brennen – Girl, the drama pages can get fucked. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with havin’ a fat ass.

Mike – Aryia said you and I should start a duo channel called fat ass and flat ass. I have no clue what content he expects us to post.

They continued to message you guys both funny and actually encouraging messages.

“I’m making a video” Colby said after scrolling through all of the articles and videos. “And I told the channel the interview is on to keep it up.”

“Do you want me in the video?” you asked, knowing that it might just be a video where he wants to sit by himself and talk.

“I wouldn’t do it without you.” He smiled, leaning over to pull you into a kiss. “Get your bathing suit on. We’re filming this by the pool.”

“Does it matter which bathing suit?” you asked, walking into your closet and chucking Colby’s swim trunks at him.

“Wear my favorite one. The one with the black strappy things.” Colby answered, pulling on his swim trunks and grabbing his camera.

That afternoon, Colby posted the video to his channel. Your friends had all eventually joined you for pizza night and Colby had told them you’d all watch it together. With everyone gathered in the movie room, you cuddled into his side and he pulled the video up on the big screen.

*Video start*

Colby was sitting on the ground by the pool, close to the camera. He was in his swim trunks, shirtless, and his wet hair was pushed to the side, slightly stuck to his forehead. “Hi. My name is Colby Brock and my girlfriend has a fat ass.” He ducked to the side to reveal you standing a few feet behind him. You were stood there with your hips swayed to one side and your arms posed like a Greek goddess. Your voluptuous figure silhouetted against the sun behind you.

Laughs and cat calls alike could be heard throughout the movie room.

Not 3 seconds into the Instagram worthy camera shot, Colby then ran and tackled you into the pool. Both of your laughter could be heard as you fell in and swam to the surface of the water. Colby pulling you into a quick kiss before the camera cut to the next clip.

You two were sat in the grass next to each other on a beach towel. The camera a few feet in front of you. Colby spoke, “As most of you probably know by now, I shared a funny story about y/n in an interview Sam and I did about a week ago. This story has since then been taken and twisted somehow into me body shaming my own girlfriend.” Colby turned his head and connected his gaze with yours, adoration clear on his face. His hand moved to rest draped over your thigh. He continued talking, his eyes still staring back into yours. “The people trying to make it seem like I was in any way disrespecting this beautiful woman have truly lost the plot.”

In the movie room you could hear a few “awwwws” until Mike cut in. “Why are you two always so goddamn cute” He was fake crying, his hand over his heart.

On the screen, Colby turned back to face the camera, his hand staying on your thigh. “The people writing that I embarrassed Y/n by saying she wasn’t a skinny girl are really just embarrassing themselves. Y/n isn’t skinny.” Colby’s fingers dug into your thigh a bit. “This isn’t an insult or a jab or said to be mean in any way…and most importantly it’s not a reason for her or anyone watching this video to be embarrassed. And I think that’s what pisses me off about this whole thing the most.”

The video cut to a new clip, the camera on the side of the pool. The two of you were in the water, Colby behind you with his arms around you. It was your turn to speak. “The problem with the criticism that Colby has gotten over this story is that it implies I should be ashamed of my body. If he had shared a story about one of his thin friends getting stuck somewhere no one would have batted a single eye. This furthers the bullshit idea that it’s okay to be clumsy or quirky or to do stupid shit if you’re thin, but oh buddy, us fat kids have to make sure we don’t embarrass ourselves. To everyone that posted negative things about what Colby said…Instead of pretending to be body positive by acting like you were somehow coming to my rescue, why don’t you actually do something to spread self-love and body confidence. Some of you have MILLIONS of teenage girls and boys watching your videos and reading your articles.”

Colby pulled you against him, momentarily upset you even had to make this video. He let you finish and added on to what you said. “To any young people watching this video…Actually, maybe some of the older people need to hear this too…don’t let anyone tell you how much space you’re allowed to take up. Don’t let anyone tell you how loud you’re allowed to be or bright you’re allowed to shine. You don’t have to fit in some cookie cutter mold.”

Before Colby could continue you slipped in “Or in a doggy door”, laying your head back against his shoulder and busting out laughing.

Colby laughed, leaning down to kiss you. Looking back at the camera, he continued. “Watching my chubby girlfriend laugh her ass off while stuck in our doggy door will always be one of my favorite memories.” He moved the two of you towards the camera, resting his chin on your shoulder. “And how shitty would it have been if this wonderful human here in my arms wasn’t able to laugh at it because she was too self-conscious or worried that she was somehow embarrassing me.”

Colby kissed your cheek. You smiled and started talking. “Don’t let some fake, unattainable, BS beauty or body standard steal the joy out of your moments. If you spend your whole life worried about what other people are thinking about you, you’re going to miss out on so much.”

“People can say whatever they want about my relationship.” Colby said, smiling. “I don’t really care, at this point. I’m happy.”

*Video end*

Claps, cheers, and awws could be heard from everyone sprawled out in the movie room.

“I am seriously impressed with how you guys handled that.” Elton said, reaching over to pat Colby on the back.

“I like that you guys kept it funny, too. It’s very you.” Kat said.

“I’m not gonna lie. I heard everything you said, but I really just stared at y/n’s boobs the whole video.” Tara laughed.

“I wondered why your mouth was hanging open the whole time.” Jake teased her.

“I was definitely distracted while editing it.” Colby chuckled.

“Do you think it will get good feedback?” Sam asked.

“Yes and no.” you answered.

“Why no?” Colby asked.

“Well, it’ll get praise for being ballsy and honest, and it’ll get talked about because it’s about body image. Plus, we’re cute as fuck” You laughed. “But you’ll always get those people who feel like they have to tell you who you should be dating. I’ll get comments about how I really should have been wearing a one piece or that I’d be so pretty if I dropped a few pounds.”

“Miserable people hate seeing other people happy.” Mike said.

“Exactly.” You agreed.

“Well those fuckers can unsubscribe then.” Colby said, holding you a bit tighter. “I’ve got my happy right here and I’m not letting her go.”

[jaerontaemo]

What happened? :o

Warning: sorta long post.

Just so this will be as concise and organized as possible, I'll tell you what happened in N City based on my understanding and if you need extra information you could search on Twitter about it.

1. Colorist claims

Now this one is very controversial because it depends on your own perception or interpretation. In Mtopia there was a remark about the lighting of the vehicle by Taeyong who meant no harm but was just saying that the side which Lucas happened to be on was dark because the sunlight barely shined from that end. Mark and Baekhyun went on to comment how Lucas appeared nearly invisible so it was quite insensitive. Many kfans have interpreted the words and it infact was talking about the setting not the person, however it spiraled off into something else.

- I won't say it wasn't wrong or couldn't have been avoided but my opinion, being a poc, I didn't see anything hateful. I also saw many poc that weren't sending hate to them but waiting for an explanation. Some could say it was nearing on microaggression but to be honest, this is Korea we're talking about. They whitewash and idolize white complexions. The whole nation is brainwashed that way. Some fans (and mostly antis who are using this for fanwars) started calling Taeyong and Mark racists, sending messages on bubble, under their posts and even sent hate comments in their lives and demanding they kts, leave and apologize. The amount of hate comments on Marks live made him shake and Hyuck had to end it.

2. Mudra and desi culture mockery

On the ending stage for Make A Wish on M Countdown, Taeyong and Xiaojun did the meditation Mudra and head bobbed. Some Southeast Asian (?) Fans found it disrespectful and mocking to their culture. Some on the other hand didn't find anything wrong with it.

- (Another thing antis are using to attack.) As I'm not desi I have no right to say it's disrespectful or not. If anyone was hurt it's their right to feel hurt. Many tried to directly inform the members about it and get a response from SM but to no avail yet. As it's a split reaction I don't think SM will do anything about it really. The only thing I want to say is that it can't be considered mockery if they aren't deliberately doing it despite knowing the significance. It might be more ignorance since they've seen these things done and don't realize that they're important. Another thing is, for people expecting them to be educated as a global group is wrong. They can't know every single knick and cranny of every culture. They should be educated further, the right way, in order not to make the same mistakes. Also demanding an apology without educating them defeats the purpose as they won't know what they did wrong.

3. Fat shaming

I don't really know much about this but apparently Lucas made some comments about Baekhyuns weight, but it was blown out of proportion so they say he fat shames especially since he used to call Kun "f*t Kun". So they sent him hate messages on bubble.

4. Fatphobic(?)

So on the behind MV for Misfit, Taeyong was encouraging Johnny to not eat since he had a shoot. As an idol this is customary and normal but many fans twisted his words saying he's telling him to starve. Rather it was so Johnnys body would maintain shape before the shots were taken.

5. SBS Make A Wish Set Design

I don't know much about this but I saw that Inkigayos stage had a sacred arabic prayer for Hussain or his son. It was a religious and very important quote so many fans were enraged, as they should be, however, NCT didn't have anything to do with the set design so the blame was misplaced. They definitely deserve an apology for this one and an official statement.

All in all this is what I know, sorry if it's long and I added my thoughts on it. You can form your own opinions surely. Many antis are having a field day and nctzen just keep making things bigger by using misinterpretations, trusting the words of people without fact checking, gaslighting, spreading false information and just overall hating without just cause. You can want the best for someone without babying them. Nothing's wrong with telling them they did wrong, I'm sure they'll even thank you for it, but the way you do it has to be with the same respect you are seeking. SM isn't going to allow them to feely speak unfortunately but I'm sure they're aware. They see the comments, they lurk on social media. They know what's happening. It's just getting out of hand...

[we-steer-the-ship]

I apologize for earlier. I overreacted about a joke comic and generalized people by saying they all are bad when only some are. There are good tipo shippers and crazy toxic ones, as are in an fandom.

Yes I know the comic is just a joke. And by itself it's fine and harmless. My irritation comes from the fact that it is not alone. Many in the fandom have gone to great lengths to vilify a character for no actual reason other than they view her as a threat to their ship.

We've seen tumblr blogs post "jokes" wherein characters tell Mei Mei that a man would have to be drunk to want to touch her because of her weight, or a character calling her a beached whale, or telling her she would literally have to die and have her decomposing body waste away before she can even think about wearing some outfit. I'm not even kidding or exaggerating. These are actual things that "fans" of kfp have created and posted.

Not only were these "jokes" just in very poor taste, but given that the crux of the jokes were to insult her weight, that has real world ramifications. All over the world many fat people (mostly women) are told these things to their face. Can you imagine how heartless someone would have to be do to that to another person? Literally the only things these posts accomplished was saying it is okay to insult fat people, which is ironic considering they are basing these jokes from a franchise that specifically has a fat main character who is the hero of the film, breaks stereotypes the other characters initially perceive in him, and they learn to accept him as he is. So these "fans" are using that same platform to literally send out the opposite message.

And the worst part is these fatphobic posts were liked and shared by many other kfp fans and spread around as being perfectly fine without realizing that by supporting this they are also showing their fat friends and other fans who are fat that "hey, you're less of a person because of your weight and that is funny to me."

Then you have comics like this one, representing another popular trope within the fandom. I've seen many fanarts, comics and fics use this same scenario showing another character (almost always Po) either directly insulting Mei Mei or just putting her down in some way in order to compliment and elevate Tigress.

And when you spend years seeing these same patterns repeat again and again and be loved and shared by so many, it starts to become infuriating.

So while I still stand by what I said in that this kind of unfounded character bashing and insulting that is almost always squarely focused on the same character and needs to end, I am apologizing for alot of my wording and generalized insults that were directed at fellow fans.

I'm sorry for my wording.

But please, I beg you, end this trope.

[beckerstanstyrus]

a reflection on IT ch 1

I wrote this for my group chat and it’s pretty stream of consciousness, but enjoy! 

I - and I cannot stress this enough - DO NOT watch horror movies. EVER. I’ve watched about 2.5 in my life and died in a fire each time. I was convinced into watching this film by one of my current favorite tumblr users (@dumb-binch-juice) posting Reddie stuff numerous times. I accidentally became invested. 

She kindly lent me a website which told me when the jump scares would be so I was able to cover my screen. The movie was dark but I liked it! I struggled with seeing the disgusting, unacceptable sides of humanity (all the abuse) and I hear that gets worse in the second movie. But I liked seeing the characters overcome those things. I liked each of the characters p well. 

In particular I liked that although Ben was tortured by the abusive group of boys for being fat, he was otherwise treated no differently by the Losers Club. He was smart. Notably so. Definitely the most well researched of their group, with Bill coming in second. 

My mom has been saying for years that fat folks are treated as though they’re stupid. The fact that the film didn’t direct the viewer to see him in that way should not have been jarring to me but it was. Which shocks me to my core. It tells me how fatphobic society still is, that I noticed that the chubby boy was given a nuanced personality outside of a trope or a stereotype. It tells me that fat characters are not typically well developed characters. Still. In 2019. I’m simultaneously glad I just realized this so I can be more aware of it and I’m also deeply angry. 

Anyway, Ben aside. 

I watched the movie for the Reddie ship, and ironically you basically get no hint of it in the first movie. Unless you’re INTENT on reading into it. In a sense you could argue it’s there in plain sight, but only in the sense of it being obvious that two people are vibing because they’re teasing & bantering & giving each other shit constantly. (The same dynamic as Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99, esp in season 1 - the classic “pulling her hair because you like her” trope). 

In other words, most people aren’t paying attention to other folks’ flirty vibes and don’t even notice. And in particular, when that kind of banter is between two girls or two boys - ESP when it’s between two boys - it’s so easily attributed to platonic affection. So it becomes really unclear. And that’s such a safe zone and such a trap for those of us who have gay relationships - we can flirt OPENLY and LOUDLY because it will be interpreted as being platonic. (I’ll never forget when a Chinese girl I had a thing with in Japan when I studied abroad told me, yes China is homophobic, and yes lesbians hold hands in public because no one will ever know they aren’t just friends. Blew me away.)

Anyway so. So that ship could easily fly under the radar, which surprised me. And I haven’t seen It Chapter 2 yet, but my understanding (possible SPOILERS) is that it’s a little dubious, inconclusive, or unsatisfying (to some folks) - and ends in tragedy (yeah I’ve spoiled everything for myself it’s fine). 

And damn if that doesn’t throw me back to a time when ANY gay ship on TV, in movies, anime, books... WAS ALL QUEERBAITING. It didn’t GET to be canon. And my understanding with Reddie is that it’s subtly canon if anything (by the end of Chapter 2), and it’s unclear if it was one sided or two way. It truly reminds me of the queerbaiting from back in the day. And that’s so sad! 

But also it reminds me to be grateful for growth. It makes me realize that although we have so far to go and so many more strides to make in representation (lgbtq+ and otherwise), we have come a long way from a time when all we ever got was hints at best. I mean, I just got to see a deeply romantic, deeply satisfying conclusion to a gay romance ON DISNEY CHANNEL where the two got together & became boyfriends. Reddie is reminding me just how historic something like that is, and how recently that became something that is possible. Even 5 years ago it might not have happened. 

TL;DR as a society we have a long way to go but thank god it’s 2019 and we’re doing better with some things. And I liked the movie IT Chapter 1. The end!

[mentallystill]

tl;dr: I’m ranting about personal shit, but listen to fat people

wanna listen to fat people and don’t know where to start? https://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com

I might delete this later but feel free to DM me more body positivity/fat positivity blogs. Do not send any body positivity blogs that are fatphobic. DNI if you are fatphobic. DNI if you are preaching healthism. DNI if you are going to say anything about things being unhealthy.

Long rambly rant under the cut.

this is not something I really talk about much, but it’s something that means a lot to me. I have a lot of texture difficulties, and I had a lot more as a child. I was a notoriously picky eater (because I didn’t have the words or experience to realize that it was a texture problem and not a taste problem, so it seemed like I hated a lot of flavors when really there were just like two textures that I couldn’t stand). I can also fucking put it away. As a kid I could eat and eat, because like... people who are growing... need to consume food... people who are alive... need to consume food. Imagine.

I’m a skinny person, and because of my “weird” eating habits, and just my family being the worst in general tbh, my family bullied me a lot over food. Any time I used ketchup I was chided for “ruining” the food (even if it was literally on freezer chicken nuggets!! you know, the pinnacle of fine dining???), any time I used any other sauce they would be like “w o w, not ketchup???”. frequently me eating was met with comments about “wow! you do eat food!” or “you’re eating something other than chips? amazing”. I was deeply affected by healthism, with my mother refusing to buy food that was easy to prepare (my depression being an inhibiting factor between making anything that required more than a couple steps) because it “was better to eat nothing, than to eat something unhealthy” which is the biggest bullshit ever. 

Food is food! You need all kinds of food! Fats and sugars are important to keep your body running! And more importantly, you need energy! A calorie is just a measurement of energy! Low calorie foods are low energy foods! High calorie foods are high energy foods!!!!

And like, as affected as I was and still am by the bullying and the healthism, my experiences were also deeply entwined in society’s fucking fatphobia, without it healthism would not be as prominent as it is and in my opinion without fatphobia, healthism would not exist. I’m a skinny person, and I think it is very important for all skinny people to remember that skinnyphobia (in the limited forms that it does exist) is just a form of misogyny (people thinking they have a right to “curves”, ect) and not the fucking point in discussions of fatphobia. All skinny people need to put in their effort to unlearn fatphobia, because being fat is not the same as being unhealthy, and most of the time, when we are affected by body negativity, it is out of fear of the idea that we are or will be fat. And that’s such fucking bullshit. Listen to fat activists. Listen to fat people. 

Please feel free to put more links to blogs run by fat people, please feel free to correct me as I am ranting about something that affects me on the fringe and this is a personal post. DNI if you are preaching healthism. DNI if you are going to say anything about things being unhealthy.

[necromaniackat]

I AM NOT FATPHOBIC

I know at this point in my blogging career I’ve gotten the reputation of being “fatphobic” but let me tell you something; I used to be fat. I used to be an overweight social justice warrior scrolling through tumblr, self diagnosing myself with all these mental illnesses. Guess what happened: I grew up. I learned what the real world is like and I learned it all first hand. Let me tell you a few things I learned about the real world.

1) Yes, people treat you differently. People tend to be harsher on people who are bigger rather than someone who’s a normal size or even someone who’s underweight. WHY?! Because, you are not seen as conventionally beautiful or appealing. There are some very beautiful overweight people but the majority isn’t beautiful. It takes an upwards of 2,000 calories a day to maintain your weight so if you’re 200+lbs and gaining then that means you’re consuming more than the recommended daily calories. That means if you’re gaining, say 5lbs in a week, you’re eating enough food for two or three people. People don’t pity you because you see what you’re doing to yourself and you demand to be considered beautiful. People like Eugenia Cooney are seriously mentally ill, who don’t see the damage they’re doing to themselves. Yes, I recognize people who are overweight have the same type of mental illness but let’s not kid ourselves. The majority doesn’t have that type of mental illness.

2) There is no such thing as medical fatphobia. I would know, I used to be fat. I was 147lbs at 4′7. I was severely overweight during my late teens. I also had the beginnings of MDD and bipolar disorder. When my doctor told me my depression would lessen if I lost weight and started to eat right, I did that and I started to feel better. My meds also worked a bit better.

Also my grandmother was morbidly obese. She was bed ridden for YEARS. I used to go to her doctor’s appointments with her and my mom. Please note my grandmother is a polio survivor so that affected her health as well. When I was around 4/5 years old my grandmother overdosed on her medications; we don’t know if it’s suicide or an accident. My mom and I have had many conversations about this issue and we both agree that if my grandmother had lost a significant amount of weight then she may still be alive. He quality of life would’ve improved so much. I asked my mom if my grandmother ever experienced “fatphobia”, my mom told me that if anything she was coddled for being as heavy as she was. She got high dosages for medications and was a doctor’s wet dream so to speak.

3) Your loved ones pay for your weight. Going off of my grandmother’s experiences as a morbid obese person, I’m going to add the effect it had on her family. My mom was a single mother looking after three kids -two under the age of six- on top of working full time, on top of having to look after my grandmother because my grandmother couldn’t look after herself. My mom put her life in danger every time my grandmother fell and she had to help lift her up. My grandmother weighed 500+lbs when she died and the last time she fell the firefighters literally told my mom not to try to lift her up because my grandmother could crush her to death.

My grandmother also didn’t get a chance to play with her grand kids the way a normal grandparent should. 90% of the memories I have with my grandmother are stationed in her bed. She was 62 when she died and my little sister doesn’t have any memories with our grandmother, and me and my older brother only remember the times she fell or was in her bed. It’s not fair to any of us that those are the memories we have of her. She was so much more than just her weight but at the end of her life all her troubles were caused by her weight. She was a special needs teacher and a middle school teacher. She taught for 25 years. I miss my grandmother every day. It’s not fair that she died so young.

4) Enablers. Cut those fuckers out of your life. If they loved you they would want you to be healthy. It doesn’t matter if it’s mentally, emotionally or physically; if they loved you, they would want you to be the best version of yourself. When I was overweight I found I was most miserable when I was surrounded by people who enabled my behaviour. They didn’t care that I was slowly killing myself. If somebody loves you, they’ll want you to be healthy. If that means they’re “mean” to you.

When my depression was at a low point my uncle showed me zero pity because I wasn’t doing anything to help my situation, I wanted to wallow in myself damnation and bring everyone in with me. He hated the person I was because he knew I could be such a better version of myself and he kicked me in the ass to become that person. At the time I despised him to my very core but today, I love and understand him and his methods.

5) Social media. Oh my God! Where do I even start with this one? Let me start with, you’re not untouchable. The F/A is an echo chamber of people pulling the wool over each other’s eyes. If you love someone, you tell them the fucking truth. If you hate someone, you tell them the fucking truth. If I get made fun of for being short then you get made fun of for being fat because that’s the truth. I’m abnormally short and you are abnormally large. Social media is the viper’s den of the world, you’re not safe. People are going to make fun of your weaknesses and if you’re fat, you’re going to be made fun of for being fat. Simple.

The F/A throws a temper tantrum when their delusional bubble is burst. Being fat is unhealthy and not pretty to look at. Now, I know what you’re going to say “if you don’t like it don’t look at it then”. But as soon as I voice an opinion you just have to look at the post, click my blog, look through my blog and then message me rude things. “But Kat, that’s hypocritical of you.” I KNOW! I’m not untouchable either and I realize you have your right to send me those messages, but I’m not holding a gun to your head and telling you to waste your time. This is where your delusional bubble bursts. If you’re going to message me horrid things, I’m going to ask just this one thing of you, don’t do it on anon. Show me that you have a thick skin and can deal with people having opinions that make you uncomfortable. 

6) Habits. I know the F/A is going to use smokers as a scapegoat. Let me just tell you, I begged and pleaded my family to quit smoking when I was a kid. But as I grew up I realized people needed their coping mechanisms or habits that they do. For me, I have a smoke when I go out on the town. I also pre-game. I have the terrible habit of drinking energy drinks. They’re not good for you but I moderate my consumption. If I drink a red bull one day, I go two days without coffee. When I was 147lbs my diet consisted of deep fried pizza and junk food but I also did zero exercise. I wasn’t moderating my habits. 

Also using food as an emotional coping mechanism is not cool. You shouldn’t do that because food isn’t meant for that. The same way alcohol isn’t meant for it or working out. You need to deal with your baggage. You need to face your shit and deal with it another way so you can get your head on straight and deal with your weight. Am I saying adapt an eating disorder? No! Eating disorders are a mental illness not a lifestyle.

Anyways, that’s my opinion on F/A and such. My inbox is open and all I ask is for you to not use anon if you want to give me hate. You can’t change my mind.