#i just realized i never posted about this here
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When I first joined Tumblr, I had no idea what I was walking into. Thereâs no manual for navigating this wild, untamed corner of the internet. My first moment here? I was greeted by an image completely naked, no warning, no explanation. It was just there, bold and unapologetic. Thatâs when I realized: Tumblr is a place where anything can happen.
But for all its chaos, Tumblr has become something far greater than I ever expected. For us Palestinians, this platform isnât just a space to scroll through memes or vent about life. Itâs a lifeline, a place where weâve taken the raw, messy energy of this site and turned it into a battleground for survival. Here, we tell our stories, raise funds, and fight for our lives.
Iâve seen campaigns soar past their goals, bringing hope to families barely holding on. But Iâve also seen campaigns like mine, ones that fight tooth and nail for every single dollar, every reblog, every addition, and every ounce of hope. My familyâs lives depend on this.
It hasnât been easy. Zionists flood all Palestinian words with hate, twisting truths and spreading lies. They aim to discredit us, to make people doubt us. Itâs exhausting. Some nights, I sit with my phone in my hands, wondering if this fight is too big for me. But then something beautiful happens: a donation comes through, a kind message appears, or someone Iâve never met reblogs my story with words that feel like a warm embrace.
And through it all, people are starting to see the truth. The hate doesnât drown us; it sharpens our voices. Every day, more people step forward to stand with us, to say, âI see you, I hear you, and Iâm with you.â Itâs those moments that keep me going.
To everyone who has already helped, whether through verification, donating, wrting post , reblogging, or simply sharing a kind word: thank you. Youâve done more for my family than I could ever put into words. But the reality is, weâre not there yet. My family is still waiting for a chance to breathe, to live without fear, to fill their empty stomachs with warm food, and to wrap themselves in clothes thick enough to keep out the bitter cold. Theyâre hungry, theyâre freezing, and I canât do this alone.
This fight is hard, but itâs not hopeless. Strangers have become friends, and friends have become family. Some of you have shown up in ways I never imagined, treating my familyâs survival as if it were your own. That kind of solidarity? Itâs powerful.
Tumblr might be chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes downright bizarre, but itâs also the place where weâve built something extraordinary: a community that refuses to look away from injustice. With your help, we can take this fight all the way. My familyâs lives are within reach, and together, I know weâll get there.
This campaign isnât just about me. It supports 26 people, including two orphaned children and an injured family member suffering from hemiplegia after being hit by shrapnel during a bombing. Surgery is desperately needed to replace the infected and failing plates. The needs are urgent, and the future of 26 lives depends on your support.
The video showing the injured family member is shared before in this post: Link.
Please help us ! Donate and reblog this post to spread our story.
Vetted and shared by @90-ghost: Link.
Verified and shared by @el-shab-hussein: Link
Listed as number 282 in "The Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser Spreadsheet" compiled by @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi : Link
Listed on the Butterfly Effect Project, number 957: Link
Additionally, Al Jazeera News has documented apart of my family's case: Link
If, for some reason, you couldn't donate via GoFundMe, you can donate via PayPal instead. Please keep the conversion rates in mind when donating through GoFundMe. Every 100 SEK is equivalent to 10 dollars, and 200 SEK equals 20 dollars and so on.
Note: Thereâs even a raffle for a handmade Palestinian thob if you want to participate : Link
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In Front of Me (1)
cause i was blind to see that you were right in front of me âË
âš pairing: jeon wonwoo x f.reader âš genre: bestfriends to (?), angst, smut (R: 18+ mdni) âš wordcount: 40.6k (part 1) (part 2: here)
âš summary: jeon wonwoo has spent most of his adolesence and early adult hood unable to understand why he can't seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. as his best friend, you allowed him to vent about his worries without judgment. so what if you're in love with him? your friendship with wonwoo meant more to you than having your feelings reciprocated. that is until you hit your breaking point, while wonwoo finally realizes what has been in front of him this whole time.
âš tags: non-idol!au, uni!au, unrequited love (for the most part), pining, toxic!wonwoo, toxic!reader, both in wonwoo and readers pov, questionable protagonists, mentions of other svt members, happy ending (?), emotionally constipated characters (wonwoo), flashbacks, slight seokmin x reader, a lot of emotions thrown everywhere. (content warnings under the cut)
⚠note: this story was meant to be posted for wonwoos bday, but if you know anything about me by now, i never really stick to my self made deadlines lol. thank you to my cutieful, big brained beta readers: ⥠@junkissed @chocosvt and @sunniques ⥠everyone in @svthub and @highvern and @gyuswhore who helped me w this fic as well ! if u look closely this is pretty much just a sugar coated version of real life events lol... anyways i hope u enjoy and lmk what u think thru the replies and reblogs :) !
âš masterlist, fic playlist.
âš smut tags: no smut in this part :p âš warnings: alcohol, reader is downbad for wonwoo, stalking, slut-shaming, evasions of privacy, if i missed anything lmk! cuz ik i did i just can't think of what hehe :p
⚠what i would like to note about this story before you read it: you're not meant to like these characters (for most of the story at least lol), they are flawed in many ways, thats the whole point of this story tbh. tmi--but this story is pretty much my free therapy lol. and i love a messy plot! wonwoo and reader are just two normal people in this story and i wanted to write something a little more raw than i'm used to. so just take what i say with a grain of salt before reading ⥠i still want you to enjoy this story because i poured my soul into it. so thank you for your support and kind asks and comments about the teaser!
prologue.Â
Despite your age, youâve never been in a serious relationship. There was always something holding you back, or rather, someone.Â
In all the years youâve known Wonwoo, youâve always thought maybe one day, he would look at you in a different light. Hoping that he could reciprocate the feelings youâve harboured for him since the eleventh grade.Â
He was the one who constantly moved out of relationships. You couldnât even count the amount of late-night calls where he asked you what his ânext stepâ should be. The doting best friend that you are, youâd gladly stay up all night trying to help him fix his girl problems.Â
âI just, I donât have feelings for her anymore. Is that wrong?â he asked you over the phone.Â
Tossing and turning in your bed you let out a deep sigh. One thing is always guaranteed with Wonwoo: in a relationship, he loses feelings quickly. No matter how much he likes the girl, no matter how obsessed or possessive he feels for them at the beginning of it all, it diminishes by the time the six-month mark hits.Â
Although he may be a great friend to you, relationships were never his strong suit.Â
âItâs not wrong to fall out of love, but how many times are you going to break up with someone before you decide to stay?â you ask him, and he pauses to think.Â
âI donât know, but I canât stay, that would make things worse,â he sighs. âItâs better to just stop this whole thing now.âÂ
âI agree, but are you sure?â you continue to ask him the same questions youâve been asking since you were sixteen.Â
âIâm sure,â he replies with a heavy sigh.Â
âOkay, then goodnight. Itâs almost one in the morning,â you try to cut the call, but he continues to speak.Â
âIâm not the bad guy, right?â he asks you for reassurance.Â
âNo, youâre just human Wonwoo. Thereâs nothing wrong with losing feelings for someone,â you affirmed.Â
âAlright, thank you, good night and sweet dreams,â he whispers listlessly.Â
âGood night, Wonwoo.âÂ
Your phone beeps indicating that heâs hung up and you can feel the heartstrings pull inside your chest. How many times will it take for Wonwoo to find someone he actually wants to be with? And why is it never you?Â
act one, favorite crime.
chapter one.Â
âWait, what? You and Wonwoo arenât dating?â Seungcheol asks you, forcing you into the hot seat.Â
The rest of your friend group is boring holes into your face as they all sit around Jeonghanâs living room. The blood rises in your cheeks, but you shake your head anyway.Â
It feels like every time youâre with your friends, they ask you the same set of questions. Constantly wondering why you and Wonwoo havenât thought about dating, or why you two havenât decided to take the chance and just be together.Â
âYou guys need to stop asking that. A guy can befriend someone of the opposite gender,â Wonwoo defends the two of you.Â
âYouâre telling me in all the years youâve known her, you havenât developed feelings for her once?â Cheol continues to instigate, and your eyes go wide.Â
Looking over at Wonwoo, you anxiously wait for his answer, your chest blooming with hope, only for those buds to be washed away in a millisecond.Â
âNo, câmon, weâre just friends. Thatâs it, right?â Wonwoo turns to you, trying to get you to back him up.Â
Your mouth runs dry as he stares at you, his eyebrows rising in anticipation.Â
âU-uh yeah, Wonwooâs right, weâre just friends,â you blurt out, not being able to handle all the expectant eyes on you all at once.Â
âSee? Now can you all just get off our backs?â he chastises.Â
The chatter starts up again, moving past the topic of you and Wonwooâs friendship. But you sit there, with your heart crushed in your hands, lifeless and shrivelled. Like his words and actions had the power to tear the life out of you. The worst part was that he did all this without knowing. Heâs completely oblivious to your feelings, and you only have yourself to blame.
You understand your relationship with Wonwoo is different from most peopleâs, but at the same time, it should be normal for a girl and a guy to just be friends. And at least you respect Wonwooâs feelings, and you also respect that whenever heâs dating someone the dynamic between you two shifts.Â
He becomes more detached when heâs in a relationship, and youâre okay with that. His priorities change and youâre okay with that. Despite your feelings for him, you know that you canât force him to feel the same way. And you should be okay with that.Â
Youâve never tried to get in the way of his love life, or purposefully give him bad advice to ruin what he has with someone else. Not since you were seventeen, and at that time in your life your frontal lobe was a measly speck of dust, but it's different now. Now, your morals donât change just because you love him, but that doesnât mean it doesnât hurt any less to see the person youâre in love with, fall in love with someone else.Â
two.Â
âHey, you okay?â Seokmin approaches you, and you turn your head, acknowledging his presence.Â
âHuh? Yeah, Iâm alright,â you mutter, but you know you donât look that way.Â
Seokmin has known you since high school and has seen you through everything, probably more than Wonwoo. He knows when youâre not feeling well. A sympathetic permanent on his lips as he continues to observe you play with the food on your plate, pushing around the food aimlessly but never taking a bite.Â
The sounds of people conversing throughout the dining hall never die down. But luckily, the commotion keeps your thoughts of Wonwoo at bay, or at least thatâs what you like to think. But your heart canât seem to let go of that moment from the other day. Having Seungcheol confirm that Wonwoo has never felt anything romantically for you was like a stab in the stomach, and him getting you to back up his words was just him twisting the knife.Â
âWhatâs the matter, sweetheart? You can tell me,â he sighs, pushing the hair covering your face and placing it behind your ear.Â
You can feel the tears start to pool, but you try your damndest not to let them spillânot like this, not in front of so many people.Â
âIt was just something Wonwoo said when we were all at Hannieâs house,â you mumble, refusing to make eye contact with your friend.Â
âWhat did he say?âÂ
âThat heâs never liked me before,â you sigh, feeling a tear slip from your eye.Â
Cursing yourself in your head, you hate how much your feelings for him affect you. You hate how he doesnât have to even be in front of you, yet he can still cause your emotions to fluctuate.Â
âItâs alright,â he coos, pulling you into his strong arms.Â
It felt weird, to hug Seokmin so tightly in the middle of your universityâs dining hall. But youâre thankful for how aware he is, how he actually cares about your feelings. You felt melodramatic sitting there crying in the fucking dining hall of all places, but you couldnât help but let your tears flow as Seokmin comforts you with his soft voice.Â
âYou deserve more than this, I hope you know that,â he whispers in your ear.
three.Â
Over the next few days, the words Seokmin had whispered to you kept replaying in your head. You did deserve better and looking at all of Wonwooâs past relationships is the perfect example. Heâs not exactly the ideal boyfriend, so why did you even have feelings for him in the first place?
You could feel a migraine coming on from how hard you were thinking, but Wonwoo still seems to be the only person you canât let go of. No matter how many times youâve tried.Â
A knock on your door brings you out of your thoughts. It was late, and you donât remember anyone messaging you saying that they were going to come over, but you open the door anyway.Â
âHey, sorry I didnât text,â Wonwoo moves past you, takes his shoes off, and plops on your couch.Â
âItâs okay, whatâs up?â you move to sit beside him.Â
âI broke up with her,â He says, shrugging.Â
Taken aback by his nonchalance, your eyes widen. He seems calm for someone who has just broken up with his girlfriend. But you try not to think too hard about it, or you might just have to take another Advil to remedy your already growing headache.Â
âWell, how did it go?â you ask with a bit of apprehension.Â
Knowing Wonwoo, you knew that he probably just dumped her over the phone or something. Heâs never been bothered to really break up with someone.Â
You have all these examples of why he would probably be the worst boyfriend ever, yet your heart still belongs to him. Itâs pitiful, to say the least, people probably would think that youâre a masochist because you subject yourself to staying by his side when he has feelings for another.Â
âShe was crying, but at least itâs over now,â Wonwoo informs you as he eats the snacks you had left on your coffee table.Â
âOh.â You could feel the guilt start to seep into your veins.Â
It never felt good to hear Wonwoo talk about his breakups, but youâre not sure how to react. Thereâs a part of you thatâs happy to know that heâs single again, but the majority of you pities the girl who had just gotten her heart broken.Â
Wonwoo continues to munch on the snacks left on your table while your mind tries to process the information youâve been given. Hearing him talk so casually about his breakup leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, but you decide to switch topics instead of asking any more questions.Â
âAre you still going to Seokminâs thing this weekend, though?â you ask him, trying to fill the air with something to drown out your rapid heartbeats.Â
He shrugs his shoulders, âIf I feel like it. Are you?âÂ
The bottom of your stomach tightens. You were hoping that he would go, even looking forward to it. Is that pathetic? To want to see him everywhere you go? Maybe you were pathetic to the point where you only felt like hanging out with your friends if he was there.Â
âI mean, I donât have a ride soâŚâ you trail off, pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing on the T.V. screen.Â
âIâll go since youâre going, that way you have a ride,â he mumbles, adjusting his posture to lean back on your couch.Â
He sighs as he sinks into the plush cushions, spreading his legs while he puts his arms up. Youâre very aware of his proximity, and you try not to let it show. But the smell of his cologne invades your senses, knocking the breath out of your chest.Â
Wonwooâs arm circles your shoulder, pulling you closer to him and forcing your head to rest delicately on his broad shoulder. Exhaling, you let yourself enjoy his way of showing affection. Although to him it means nothing, and to you, quite literally everything.Â
âThank you for agreeing to go to Seokminâs so I have a ride,â you whisper but still avoid eye contact so he doesnât notice your flustered expression.Â
âThank you for letting me barge in here just so I can talk about my breakup,â he whispers back, kissing the top of your head.Â
âOf course, what are best friends for?âÂ
four.Â
Most people fall in love gradually, slowly growing feelings for the person before they can even call it love. Like the way the seasons steadily turned from winter to spring. Green grass peeking from underneath the melting snow, or flowers gently blooming and unravelling their new set of stems and petals. For you, it was different.
 Falling in love with Wonwoo wasnât gradual at all.Â
If anything, falling in love with Wonwoo felt like a snowstorm in the middle of a sunny day. Your affection for him grew rapidly, and before you knew it, your mind was clouded with him and him only. It became hard to stay rational as if you were driving down a snow-filled road without any control over the steering wheel. Swerving into different lanes, your brakes malfunction, making it hard to bring your car to a full stop. Falling in love with Wonwoo was not gradual or easy.
When you met him on the first day of your junior year of high school, your sixteen-year-old brain couldnât fully comprehend your crush on him. He was the shy, scrawny new kid in your class, and no one paid mind to him except you. But that didnât stop you from liking him. Despite his interest in collecting pokĂŠmon cards and his crooked glasses that were too big for his face, you were in love.Â
You were like two peas in a pod that whole year, and the only time you and Wonwoo spent time apart was when he had to leave during summer break to visit family in Korea.Â
When he returned for your senior year, you could barely recognize him. Suddenly the nerdy Wonwoo you knew was gone. His glasses complimented his face, his hair was styled differently, and most of all, he got hot. A lot of your classmates mustâve seemed to agree because now your best friend and the man youâre in love with gained attention from people who didnât even bat an eyelash at him last year.Â
It annoyed you to see all these people suddenly interested in him. You were angry that just because he grew a few inches and learned to do his hair didnât mean he was that much different from how he was last year.Â
Even though Wonwoo was in a relationship, he still stayed true to your friendship. He still hung out with you, ate lunch with you, you even came over on weekends to have dinner with his family. Day by day, your love for him strengthened, and you ignored that his attention had been divided between you and his girlfriend at the time.Â
When their relationship hit three months, it seemed your friendship had come to an abrupt halt. He didnât invite you for dinner as often, you two didnât talk on the phone every other night. He started to invest more of his time into her until he decided she wasnât worth his energy anymore. Then the calls would come, his contact name flashing across your phone screen to ask you for advice.Â
âI feel like I need to break up with Haein,â his deep voice flowed through your phone speaker. A sigh left his lips as he faced the truth.Â
Haein was Wonwooâs first girlfriend. She was nice, almost too nice. Wonwoo definitely had a type for girls with a bubbly personality. Ones that were effortlessly beautiful, reminiscent of a freshly made porcelain doll. That was Haein to you, unblemished in every way possible. Everything that you werenât.
You couldnât bring yourself to hate her. She was too nice to hate, but your younger self was so angry at how much of Wonwoo's time she took up that you envied her. Seokmin once jokingly mentioned that you looked especially green when she was around, and you remember how quickly you checked your appearance on the nearest reflective surface because of what he had said in passing. You remember vividly how nervous his words made you, was it that obvious?
Wonwooâs first time calling you about his breakup plans was a delightful surprise, and you were too in shock to sputter out a proper response.
âOh. Why?â was all you could say, still stunned that after a week of no contact, this was the first thing he said.Â
ââDunno, I just donât like her anymore,â he admitted effortlessly.Â
You didnât know how to respond. Your heart was screaming at you to encourage him to break up with his girlfriend at the time, while your brain was telling you to think logically.Â
âWell, if thatâs what you think is right,â you mumbled, trying to hide the fact that you felt a sense of relief at Wonwoo potentially being single again.Â
Others may have tried to rationalize with Wonwoo, but you didnât care. You wanted your friendship with him to turn back to normal. Your adolescent brain ignored that it was wrong to encourage him, as long as he was fully yours again.
History repeated itself over and over, and the older you got, you learnt to not be so selfish with his attention. Mostly out of guilt for the person he was going to break up with, but also because you didnât want Wonwoo to realize your true feelings.Â
Although being in love with Wonwoo was brutal, you constantly wished that things were different between you two, but they werenât. Heâs never seen you as more than a friend, and as your friendship with him progressed, you had begun to learn to mask your romantic feelings for platonic ones.Â
five.Â
By the time you entered university, you had mastered the art of pretending. As if your feelings for Wonwoo didnât exist. You are quite meticulous in ensuring that he never realizes that you are profoundly in love with him. The mere thought of him finding out how you truly felt frightened you.Â
Youâve already envisioned countless scenarios on how it could go. The idea of being rejected by the one you love most. It would change everything about your friendship with him. The look of pity in his eyes, the apologies that would spill out of his mouth. You can't bear even the thought of rejection. Not from him.Â
Two voices are constantly at war inside your mind. Your brain, acting as the voice of reason, constantly reminds you that itâs better to preserve your friendship. To keep the dynamic youâve always had with Wonwoo guarded where it could last, thrive. While your heart persuaded you with deluded, fake scenarios.Â
âWhat if he likes you back?âÂ
âYou never know until you try.âÂ
âTake the risk or lose the chance.âÂ
What if.Â
Like a siren to a sailor, your heart sang with deep imagery. Filling your thoughts with illusions of you and Wonwoo finally together. But your mind doesnât let you go without a fight. It knows that beyond the deep waters where your siren-voiced heart lies is nothing but a bottomless pit.Â
The possibilities are endless, and youâd rather stay safely grounded in your boat of rationality.Â
A notification brings you out of your thoughts. Although you already knew that it was Wonwoo, you scramble to pick up your phone. Thereâs excitement laced in your veins as you look down at the screen.Â
7:06 p.m. [wons <3]: be there in 5.Â
There was no reason for you to be so ecstatic but you couldnât help it. He had already texted you prior, notifying you that he was leaving his place to come pick you up, and yet every time your phone buzzes, you still hope that itâs something completely different. But that was your heart talking; you knew that it wouldnât be anything out of the ordinary.Â
Everyone had planned to meet at Seokminâs place today, just to have one last celebration before midterms began again. You had happily agreed, enthusiastic that you could spend more time with Wonwoo, although it wouldnât be a one-on-one thing. You were more than elated to see him while also being able to hang out with the rest of your friends.Â
Throwing your phone back on the bed, you change into an outfit that is both cute and comfortable. There wasnât a reason to dress up when the vibe at Seokminâs was just going to be sitting around his living room, drinking cocktails and eating pizza.Â
Wonwoo texts you once more to let you know heâs outside, causing you to race down to meet him. A lump in your throat arises, as he comes into your field of vision, appreciating how breathtakingly handsome he is.Â
The chilled breeze brushes through the strands of his hair, glasses perched on his tall nose. He looked amazing, just like he always had, but you never get bored of admiring him. Even if itâs just from afar.Â
âHi! Sorry if I kept you waiting,â your voice resounds into the night.Â
âIt's never a problem if itâs you,â he chuckles as you dawdle over to the passenger side of his car.Â
Trying not to read too deep into his words, you snort at his cheesy line instead of giving a response. Watching Wonwoo move to the side as he opens the car door for you. His actions make you blush, and you know youâll think about it for the rest of the night.Â
âAre you ready to go?â he asks, smiling at you.Â
The ride to Seokminâs house is fairly quiet, the sounds of music filling the silence instead. Your thoughts are overflowing with scenarios once again, wondering how different the car ride would be if you and Wonwoo were in a relationship. His fingers would probably be laced with yours, or rubbing soothingly against your thigh while his other hand gripped the steering wheel. Planting kisses on your cheeks at every red light. It seemed like heaven on the other side. But you knew reality would crush your delusions soon enough.Â
âŚ
 The clock on Seokminâs pale white wall is nearing midnight and you donât want to be here anymore. Not when the only thing you could focus on was Wonwoo flirting with a girl whose name you didnât catch. Sheâs Joshuaâs childhood friend and he only brought her along because sheâs visiting from out of town. Whoever she was, it didnât matter. The only thing that mattered to you was the fact that she was able to bring out Wonwooâs deep laugh. The kind of laugh that only befalls upon your ears when he finds something genuinely funny.
The ugly swirl of jealousy sits in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't help but scoff at your wretched situation. It made you sick watching them, and you could throw up any minute now. At this point, you werenât sure who to envy, Wonwoo or the girl he was flirting with. You find it unfair that he doesnât realize how greatly he can impact your feelings.Â
Just a few hours ago, you were in utter bliss. Sitting in the front seat of his car, listening to the music softly playing on the ride to Seokminâs apartment. Making stupid jokes and pointing out the random sights that you had seen while driving down the bustling city streets. You envy how easy it is for Wonwoo to make all those feelings of delight vanish. And he doesnât even know. He doesnât know what heâs doing to you, and thatâs what hurts the most.Â
âYou doing okay?â Seokmin comes up to you, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it affectionately.Â
âHuh? Oh. Yeah Iâm okay,â you chuckle, but thereâs nothing humorous about your laugh at all.Â
His eyes soften, he knows that youâre not okay. Seokmin always knew. After all these years, he can tell when youâre trying to save face. Thereâs a lump in your throat, and if you didnât have a drink to sip on to distract you, you probably wouldâve gone to the bathroom to cry.Â
âYou wanna talk in my room?â he offers, and youâre grateful.Â
Seokmin knew he had to get you somewhere other than the living room. You were practically torturing yourself, sitting on the couch and watching Wonwoo talk to everyone but you.Â
Instead of agreeing vocally, you nod your head before standing up to follow Seokmin to his room. The door shuts softly, muffling the sounds of laughter and allowing your uneasiness to finally subside.Â
As you sit on Seokminâs bed, you feel the tears starting to trickle down your cheeks. It feels pathetic, crying over something so trivial. Why does it have to be you who feels this way? Why canât you just be a normal friend and see Wonwoo in a platonic light? The whole world could turn upside and heâd be the first person you search for.Â
Everything just seemed so unfair, how could you possibly be happy if your feelings for Wonwoo were constantly in the way of it all? Itâs tiring, worrying about him, yearning for him. You could do so many other things with your time, and when you look toward the future, you know that youâll regret how much of your life you wasted loving someone who doesnât love you back.Â
âItâs okay, just let it out,â Seokmin whispers in your ear, embracing you in a tight hug.Â
Crying felt good. You rarely cry over your situation despite how upsetting it is. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to finally indulge in your sadness and let go of everything you were too afraid to say or feel. Â
âI know it sucks right now, but honestly, it might be time to get over him,â Seokmin continues to comfort you while trying to help you face the reality of your situation. âYouâre so hurt, and itâs taking a toll on you. Please, I canât bear to see you so sad.âÂ
His words hit you hard because you know it's true. But all you can do is apologize. Saying sorry for feeling this way, even though itâs not your fault, you cannot control your feelings, you still apologize. To Seokmin, to your friends, but also yourself.Â
âI-Iâm sorry,â you hiccup, tears staining Seokminâs white shirt.Â
âWhy are you sorry? You did nothing wrong,â he mutters, his large hand patting your head, trying to soothe your fit of emotions.Â
âBecause, if I was normal, you wouldnât have to worry about me, about why Iâm always upset, you and the others, my feelings are burdening all of you,â you continue to weep softly in his arms, gripping onto his shoulders as his hands encircle your waist.Â
âHey, look at meââ he grabs your face, gentle as a mouse, rubbing away the tears from your cheeks. âYou are not a burden. We care, thatâs why we worry, and I just want to be there for you.âÂ
âThank you, Seokmin. Iâm so happy that I have someone like you in my life,â you pull him into a hug again, knocking the air out of his chest, but heâs still somehow able to hug you even tighter.Â
Seokmin is like your favourite childhood blanket, keeping you warm and away from everything that could possibly hurt you. Heâs always willing to hear you rant about things that you know you could never tell Wonwoo.Â
âIâm so tired, Iâm tired of feeling like this,â you admit to him.Â
Running his hands through your hair, he gives you a reassuring smile.Â
âMaybe itâs time to distance yourself from him a bit, you two have been glued to the hip for so long. Maybe that distance can help organize your feelings better,â he mutters, catching the stray tears that pool at your chin, and wiping them away for you.Â
âI want to feel better,â you agree with him, still trying to recover from how hard you were sobbing into his chest.Â
âI care about you, okay? We all do. Wonwoo cares about you, too, but thereâs a point where youâll have to be okay with whatever outcome happens if you decide to tell him how you feel. Or you just have to find a way to get over him,â he speaks softly, trying not to crush your heart with reality, but you know heâs right. âIn the Future, you will thank yourself for making whatever decision you have to make, but trust me, holding all these feelings in wonât do you any good.â He ends his pep talk there, and you sigh, trying to process everything he said.Â
âThank you, Minnie, Iâm so thankful I have you,â you sniffled.Â
âAnd I you.âÂ
âŚ
Seokmin explained to Soonyoung and Jihoon that you needed to go home after your talk in his bedroom. They were more than happy to take you along with them before heading back to their place, not wanting to force you into a car with Wonwoo at the end of the night.Â
âOf course, itâs really no trouble at all,â Soonyoung reassures you after you had asked about a million times if it was okay to ride home with them.Â
The car ride is drastically different from the one you had taken on the way to Seokminâs, Soonyoung being the number one reason why. Heâs not the best at reading the room, although Jihoon is constantly telling him to shut up. He knows you are upset over something, but Soonyoungâs way of cheering you up is getting you to laugh. While Jihoon believed that you may want a more peaceful environment after everything that happened.Â
As Jihoon drove, Soonyoung sang along with the lyrics of the current song playing. Loud enough for anyone outside the car to hear him. You could tell he was a bit tipsy after the few beers he had earlier, but you didnât mind the noise. Jihoon begged to differ.Â
âSoon, can you tone it down? Please. People are looking at us,â Jihoon grumbles, trying to focus on the road ahead.Â
âBut you love it when I sing,â Soonyoung whines, and you canât help but laugh.Â
âI do, but our friend has had a long night,â Jihoon counters.Â
Soonyoung turns to face you from the passenger seat. âIf you want me to be quiet, I will.âÂ
âNo, itâs okay, Iâm actually enjoying it, thank you very much,â you giggle, and that was all the confirmation he needed, going back to his antics.Â
Jihoon groans as Soonyoung practically breaks out into full song and dance, causing you to sing along with him. This distraction from all the conflicting thoughts gives you a refuge from the war inside your mind. Â
The whole way back to your place was filled with singing and laughter, allowing you to finally feel at ease for once. Albeit Jihoon pretended to act annoyed the whole time, you knew he secretly loved how Soonyoung tried to bring the mood back up to help you.Â
Once you got home, you thanked the two before bidding them farewell. Apprehension flowed throughout you, and you didn't want to be alone with your thoughts after being around someone as cheerful as Soonyoung. But you didnât know where else to go or what else to do.
Laying in your bed, you think about how today went from beginning to end, and youâre scared of what will happen in the future. Sighing to yourself, you allow yourself to at least get some rest instead of staying up all night thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow. Turning your phone on "do not disturb," the stillness in your apartment lulls you to sleep.Â
1:09 a.m. [wons <3]: seokmin said u went home early? u ok?Â
ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?
chapter one.Â
Wonwooâs ride home was sombre, yet desolate. Your absence from his passenger seat irked him. Street lights whisk by his vision in a blur, but heâs too lost in his thoughts as he drives on autopilot, wondering why you went home so early. You didnât even say goodbye. Itâs the first time you went home from Seokminâs place without him.Â
By the time he got home, his curiosity had started to claw at him, but he didnât want to be irrational and assume the worst. So he texted you, hoping that there would be an explanation awaiting him in the morning.Â
Not a single notification from you came that very next morning. No matter how many times his phone went off, no matter how many notifications popped up from his screen. None of them were you. Morning turned to afternoon, and afternoon slowly turned into night. Still nothing.Â
He feels dejected. Everything seemed to be going okay just last night. That was until you abruptly left without telling him you were going home. What changed? Why did it feel like there was a shift between you two?Â
Rejection is foreign to Wonwoo. Most times, itâs him thatâs doing the rejecting. He was the one to always initiate the breakup and lose feelings first; every decision he made was made by him. He has no control over whether youâre going to text him back or not, and to put it simply, he canât stand that feeling.Â
Wonwoo hates not being in control. Whether that be his future, his relationships, and especially his feelings. At least thatâs what he forces himself to believe. That itâs not fair of you to ignore him when heâs worried about you, because heâs your best friend. You should answer him when he texts you. When he calls you, and especially when he shows up at your door, seeking your comfort. In his mind, that is what he believes the foundation of your friendship is. To comfort each other, just like it always has been.Â
Sure, maybe Wonwoo is entitled, perhaps heâs conceited and selfish, but he doesnât care. Because in his mind, youâre his best friend. There was no way in hell that you were ignoring him. His ego doesnât even consider it a possibility. You were busy, thatâs it. That has to be it.Â
âŚÂ
Less than forty-eight hours in, Wonwoo couldnât stop himself from texting you once more. Nimble fingers practically itching to open your contact to update you about the most mundane things. Maybe if he pretended that this moment of silence was perfectly normal, then maybe you would eventually end up answering him.Â
12:36 p.m [wons <3]: class just finished. lunch at our usual place?
Nothing. Not even a thumbâs up reaction. Wonwoo had become antsy, guilt and slight annoyance gnawing at the pit of his stomach. Where the hell are you? What are you doing thatâs so important that you couldnât even open his message let alone read them?Â
1:27 p.m. [wons <3]: this random girl asked for my number after class lol. weird right? i didnât give it to her though đ
Cursing at himself, he regrets pressing the send button on that text. Double texting you is already out of the norm for him, but triple texting? He canât believe how desperate he looks right now. He wishes he could bring himself to unsend it, but he just hopes itâll be the text that finally gets you to respond.Â
2:10 p.m. [wons <3]: saw a bunny running thru the oval today u shouldâve seen it! reminded me of u. [1 photo attachment]Â
Absolute radio silence from your end. Wonwoo is starting to think that you had him blocked, but his messages are still delivering. Unsure of whatâs worse, you ignoring him or blocking his number, Wonwoo still tries his best to remain calm.
4:00 p.m. [wons <3]: im about to head home soon. r u riding w me today?Â
The sight of you getting into Seokminâs car made Wonwoo scoff. Since when did you start getting rides home from Seokmin? And why was he the one opening the door for you? Buckling your seatbelt instead of his own? Wonwoo is completely dumbfounded at what he has witnessed.Â
4:30 p.m. [wons <3]: saw u get into seokminâs car, lmk if u need a ride tmrw.Â
Seeing you laugh and smile while walking to the student parking lot with Seokmin, of all people, solidified the fact that you are actively ignoring his texts. And he just canât stand the thought of it. How dare he be ignored? Especially by his best friend, the one person who had always responded to him, no matter the time or how busy you were, you always texted him back.Â
Wonwoo initially thought that even if the world ended, you would be there within arms reach, enough to hold you close, where he could keep you safe. You were predictable in that sense. But if the world decided to burst into flames, or swallow itself whole tomorrow, heâs unsure if you would be there right next to him by the time he woke up.Â
two, wonwooâs summer before senior year.Â
The school year flew by with the speed of light. And before Wonwoo knew it, he was home back in Korea for the summer. The dreaded fifteen-hour plane ride over was excruciating. There was an ache in his lower back, and his knees felt like they were being struck by a hammer with every step he took. But at least the worst part was over.Â
Sixteen-year-old Wonwoo was quite naive, thinking that heâd be welcomed into his home country with loving arms. That hadnât been the case at all, and for the two months that he spent in Changwon, he couldnât help but count the days till he could come back home. Where you had been patiently waiting for him.Â
He despised being away from you, and he had yearned for you every moment he was gone. With you by his side, Wonwoo had finally understood the true meaning of solace, a peace of mind that couldnât be replicated. Not even the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown could outweigh the feeling of tranquillity that he got when he was with you.
Every year that Wonwoo was dragged back to Korea by his parents was excruciating. Especially because he had a certain distaste for his relatives. Maybe it was disrespectful to loathe them the way he did, but he couldnât care less. Their scathing comments would flow out of their mouths just to pierce daggers of judgement into his back. To insult Wonwoo was second nature to his aunts, and he couldnât do much but sit back and listen. Â
Much to his dismay, his parents hadnât even bothered to book an Airbnb for their stay, informing him and his brother that they would be staying with his aunt. He couldnât stand his aunt Seo-Ah in particular, and he swore the feeling was mutual. Unsure of why he had to withstand her crude remarks in front of his family without much protest, he forced himself not to dish out rude rebuttals to everything she had to say.Â
There was a time when Wonwoo tried to reason with himself on why his aunt was filled with so much bitterness, but he gave up on that long ago. He was about to be seventeen now, and he couldnât bring himself to empathize with the older lady anymore.Â
âWonwoo! Youâre all grown up now, and I canât believe it,â Seo-Ah forced him into a bone-crushing hug as he tried his best not to push her off of him. She pulled back to take a closer look at him and he could already see the scrutinizing gleam in her eyes, âYou know, youâre still so skinny for your age. Do your parents not feed you enough?âÂ
Wonwoo wanted to scoff at her, but he kept a neutral expression.Â
âNo they do, I donât know maybe itâs my fast metabolism or something,â he refuted her claims. He couldnât wait to get out of her sight.Â
âYou know, maybe you should start going to the gym, get some muscle on you or something,â she patted his lanky arm and laughed that dreadful laugh. The ones that have no real humour behind it, just to cover up the obvious dig she took at his appearance.Â
âYeah maybe,â he dismisses her to head into the house. Setting his luggage down to check whether or not youâve texted him yet.Â
It was about five in the evening in Changwon, but he knew you wouldnât be asleep. Faintly recalling how you were planning to stay up late every night to watch BuzzFeed unsolved videos, or until your mom yelled at you to go to bed.Â
[4:15 p.m. kst] [you: i stayed up all night watching buzzfeed unsolved] [you: im going crazy i keep getting paranoid to the point iâve turned all my mirrors backwards] [you: hope ur flight was ok tho!!! đŤś]
He chuckled to himself, remembering your wide eyes and elaborate plan to sneak snacks into your room in the early hours of the morning behind your parentsâ backs. Wonwoo missed you, and your stupid obsession with horror podcasts and YouTube shows. He missed the way your smile would shine so bright as you talked about all the haunted places the hosts would visit.Â
Wonwoo did not care for horror or anything scary, but if you were to ask him to stay up all night on Facetime binge-watching your little Buzzfeed videos, he would do so in a heartbeat.Â
Two days down, about another 89 to go, Wonwoo thought to himself as he looked through your messages with him. You had already spammed the chat mercilessly about your first two days of summer break, and your intricate mission to stay up without accidentally falling asleep in the middle of it all.Â
[6:00 p.m. kst] [1 photo attachment] [you: currently trying to sneak snacks into my room without my mom knowing] [you: u better not snitch đž] [you: its so boring w out u here btw SO COME BACK SOON PLSS] [you: ok thats enuffâŚtxt me when u land!]
Wonwoo really missed you.Â
âŚ
One more week and Wonwoo would finally get to see you again. The ability to talk to you in person, hug you, and spend time with you gave him something to look forward to, and thankfully, summer break went by fast because of it.Â
He had spent most of his time in Korea eating at local food spots, going to the gym, and trying a lot of new things with his brother, Seongho, giving them time to bond before he went off to University again. Wonwoo had missed his brother dearly during the school year, but at least they were able to pass the time together during summer break.Â
It was initially his brotherâs convincing that got him to go to the gym for the very first time. The idea of going to a place with a lot of sweaty, adrenaline-filled people kind of frightened him, but the more he went, the more he started to like what he saw in the mirror. Wonwooâs shoulders had broadened, and his lanky arms finally started to show signs of muscles. He was satisfied in knowing that all of his hard work, and Seonghoâs encouragement had finally paid off.Â
Seongho told him he looked a lot more carefree now that he wasnât so worried about his appearance all the time. And it was then that Wonwoo realized that he wasnât all that bad-looking, after all.Â
Wonwoo had begun to take pride in his vanity. He searched for different ways to style his hair, bought glasses that better suited his face shape, and, most of all, did his best to act more confidently. The sudden change made him wonder how you would react. He had been anticipating your reaction, wanting to see the look on your face once he returned home.Â
âYou got it. Just one more rep, and we can switch,â Seongho encouraged Wonwoo as he tried to push the bar up from his chest.Â
His muscles were aching in the most addictive and satisfying way. He almost wished he had started working out earlier because only good things seemed to have come ever since he stepped foot into the gym.Â
âOkay! Youâre done, that was good,â his older brother high-fived him, a proud smile dancing along his lips.Â
âThanks, but my arms feel like jelly now,â he huffed a chuckle before gulping down the contents of his water bottle.Â
Seongho chuckled along with him before setting himself down on the workout bench. His actions faltered, and he slowly observed the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrows in amusement.Â
âUh, donât look now, but I think that girl is staring at you,â Seongho tilted his head in the girlâs direction and Wonwoo couldnât be more confused.Â
âHuh? Are you sure it's me theyâre looking at and not you?âÂ
âIâm serious! You should go talk to her,â Seongho grinned, pushing his younger brother in the direction of the girl who was supposedly eyeing Wonwoo.Â
âHyung!â Wonwoo calls out but it falls on deaf ears as his older brother begins his bench presses.Â
Wonwoo turns towards the girl in the most awkward way humanly possible. He was completely dumbfounded and not sure what to do in the situation heâd been put in. The girl who was staring at him waved flirtatiously, and before he could even think about his next move, his feet had begun to move on their own accord.Â
âHi, I saw you working out over there, are you new here?â she asked him, batting her eyelashes.Â
âUhm, I guess? Iâm only here for the summer though,â he spoke with apprehension, because what the hell was he even supposed to say?Â
âOh! Me too. My name is Haein, by the way.â Haeinâs smile reached her eyes as she giggled, and her hand extended to shake Wonwooâs.Â
Wonwooâs actions were practically robotic, rubbing his sweaty palms on his gym shorts before taking her hand in his. He remembers thinking about how soft her hands were, and how pretty she looked with her hair tied up in a messy bun.Â
âIâm Wonwoo.âÂ
âWonwoo, hmm, thatâs a cute name. But I think I would like it more in my contacts,â she flirted shamelessly, her fingers squeezing his sweaty bicep.Â
Wonwooâs mind short-circuited, and he took out his phone from his pocket so fast it almost slipped out of his grasp. Haein found it endearing though, and happily gave him her phone number.Â
They talked for the rest of Wonwoo's time at the gym and promised to hang out more before they both went home at the end of the summer.Â
To put it simply, Wonwoo was on cloud nine for the first time since heâs been here. Suddenly his aunt Seo-Ahâs words werenât so hurtful, his confidence had skyrocketed, plus he had a beautiful girl to talk to for the rest of his vacation.Â
By the end of summer, Wonwoo started to miss you less and less. Even though he still saw you as his best friend, he began to find peace in other things, like the fresh air that breezed through his fingers or the scent of the salty water misting its way onto the shore of his hometown. Finally, for the first time in his life, Wonwoo felt serene, and that made him a little more whole than he was when he first landed in Changwon.Â
âŚ
The after-effects of Wonwooâs surprisingly pleasant summer vacation hadnât worn off just yet. The gift of Haein appearing in his life seemed to just keep on giving. Not only did she live overseas, she had told him that she was actually from the same city as him. It was a little hard to believe at first as if he was the main character in a cheesy rom-com, but he couldnât find it in him to complain. Haein made him feel wanted, excited, and cared for.Â
Wonwoo wasnât entirely devoid of those feelings, especially with you as his best friend, but it was different coming from Haein. Every time he saw her, he felt like he was going to throw up, in a good way of course, but she also boosted his confidence. He liked that she made him feel like he was a man worth depending on.Â
Haein was his first real relationship, and although he was still young, he could see himself being with her for a long time.Â
âŚ
Quite like the seasons, Wonwooâs feelings for Haein changed drastically by the time school was back in session. Although he and Haein lived in the same city, there was a lot more than just distance that separated them.Â
Six months into their relationship, Wonwoo began to doubt himself. He was less eager to meet her or even text her. He could only blame himself for how things turned out with Haein. Despite his adolescence, he believed he loved her; he just got tired and disinterested.Â
On a subconscious level, Wonwoo could not stop comparing Haein to you, and as fucked up as that was, it was completely out of his control. Why didnât Haein ever want to talk about what Wonwoo was interested in? Why did she seem bored out of her mind when he would delve into his theories about his favourite shows? Or anything about himself and what he liked. As though she didnât see him for the Wonwoo he was, the personality he had behind his looks.Â
âIt all makes sense now! Eren had Zeke fooled!â Wonwoo couldnât contain his excitement about the newest episode, but Haein didnât seem interested in hearing her boyfriend geek out.Â
âI'm sorry babe, but I gave up after the first episode,â Haein sighed into the phone, and if Wonwoo could guess, she was probably picking at her cuticles out of boredom. âI just didnât get anything that was happening.âÂ
âWait, really?â He was a little offended, how could she not be obsessing over the beautiful intricacies of his favourite anime? Wonwoo didnât understand.Â
He didnât understand because when he introduced you to the show, you texted him the next day saying you were caught up to where he had left off. It amazed Wonwoo how fast you were at binge-watching shows, especially because he had told you about it on a weekday.Â
You came into school the morning after with dark circles under your eyes, but even with that tired look on your face, you ran up to him with so much eagerness while thanking him for urging you to watch his favourite show. You two were obsessed and never missed out on watching the weekly episodes together. It had become you and Wonwooâs thing, and even though he wanted Haein to join in on the fun, he found himself more entertained by your theories than by talking on the phone with his girlfriend.Â
It dawned on him that he wished that Haein acted a little more like you. And it made him feel guilty. He knew he shouldâve loved Haein no matter her interests, but he wanted someone who could understand his nerdy side. And that was only something that you were able to do.Â
âHonestly, Iâm really tired, Iâm gonna go to bed now okay?â Haeinâs voice brought Wonwoo out of his thoughts.Â
âOh okay. Night.â He said before ending the call so quickly that Haeinâs ���I love youâ was cut off mid-sentence.Â
Haein probably had thought he had forgotten, but Wonwoo just didnât want to say those words if he didnât mean it. He had grown annoyed, and a little bored of practically talking to a wall all night. Â
Comparable to the light switching off in his bedroom, he decided to do the same thing with Haein. He pushed his guilt aside and decided it was probably best to leave Haein and Changwon in the past. The memories of his last week of summer with her would become something he would look back on in the future and smile. But he didnât want to pretend any longer, it wouldâve just hurt her more if he stayed, he couldnât help that he fell out of love with her. The least he could do was not lead her on.Â
Wonwooâs relationship with Haein was merely a catalyst and a peek into what the rest of his relationships were going to look like in adulthood. He was never able to comprehend why he couldnât keep feelings for anyone after the six-month mark, and it almost frustrated him. Something was missing in every single relationship he had been in, and he wasnât sure what that was. But he was determined to find an answer.Â
three, present time.
The answer was you. But of course, Wonwoo didnât know that.Â
âAre you gonna keep checking your phone every five minutes or are you gonna do your homework?â Mingyu lectures him.Â
The two were studying in the library before their stats midterm, but Wonwooâs mind couldnât help but wonder. He hasnât been acting like himself since the night of Seokminâs party.Â
âOh, right.â Wonwoo clears his throat, putting his phone face down on the table.Â
Wonwoo drags his palms against his face, trying to not let sleep overtake him. It is not his fault that every time he tries to close his eyes, your face comes into his mind. The memory of you smiling with Seokmin made his insides twist. He hasnât seen you smile that hard in a while, and he almost misses how your eyes crinkle whenever you do so. You were practically haunting him and he had no idea how to make it stop.Â
âNot to be rude, but youâve been looking like shit lately. Whatâs wrong?â Mingyu questions him with furrowed eyebrows.Â
Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his friend, he didnât have to be insulted to know how crappy he looked, but Mingyu seemed to only be telling the truth. Wonwoo did look and feel like shit. With the amount of near run-ins heâs had with you and Seokmin on campus, heâs begun to sense that itâs some sort of karma. Whatever that karma may be for, he fully believes that itâs completely unwarranted.Â
Forcing a hand through his dark locks, Wonwoo contemplates whether or not he should just go up to you in person and demand answers. Itâs uncommon for the two of you to fight, or ignore each other for that matter. But he canât help but presume that if he were to confront you about your silence, there would be no rightful explanation. Or at least not the explanation that he wants from you.Â
Every time he even fathoms the thought of barging into your apartment and asking what the hell is wrong, thereâs a lingering nervousness that he wishes would dissipate, leading him to lay awake with his thoughts for hours on end.Â
âThanks for that, asshole, I just havenât been getting much sleep,â Wonwoo huffs.Â
âOkay, obviously. You practically look like a zombie with the way youâve been moping around. What has been keeping you up?â Mingyu presses.Â
Itâs not every day that Wonwoo indulges in his problems with Mingyu, thatâs what you were for. However, he canât talk about his problems about you, to you, so heâll have to settle for the next best thing. Â
âY/N has been ignoring me since the night we all hung out at Seokminâs,â Wonwoo confesses, and it feels nice.Â
For the past two weeks, heâs been keeping his frustrations to himself, and now that he can freely speak about it lifts the weight off his chest.Â
Mingyu snorts, obviously finding his friendâs situation humorous. Wonwoo sneers at Mingyuâs reaction, clearly not finding anything about you ignoring him funny.Â
âServes you right, youâre a dick to her, man.â Mingyu shrugs without any remorse to spare.Â
âWhat?â Wonwoo sputters, since when was he a dick to you? His best friend?Â
âHow blind are you? You have glasses and everything but you canât see how mean you are to her sometimes? Really?â Mingyu almost sounds offended on your behalf as he stares at Wonwoo with an incredulous expression.Â
âI am not a dick to her. She would definitely tell me if Iâve ever said something to hurt her feelings,â Wonwoo defends himself.Â
Attempting to rack his brain of all your moments together, he canât seem to pick out a memory where he has been especially rude to you. Of course, you two teased each other from time to time, but he wasnât a complete asshole. He knew when to not take a joke too far or purposely try to upset you.Â
âYouâre a dumbass.â Mingyu lets out a frustrated sigh which only aggravates Wonwoo even more.Â
âCould you stop with the insults for one second and just tell me whatâs going on?âÂ
Shutting his laptop, Mingyuâs posture becomes serious, a deviation from his usual carefree and smiley self. He cares about you just as much as the next person, so if he had to reality-check his friend, then so be it.Â
âShe cares about you a lot. And you treat her like shit. Itâs not about what youâve said to her, itâs your actions. Ever since we were in high school all youâve done is use her to solve your problems. I canât even blame her for wanting to cut you off. I donât know what happened at Seokminâs place for her to realize that, but you donât deserve her,â Mingyu confesses.Â
Soaking up each word that left Mingyuâs mouth, Wonwoo sat in a pool of perplexity. There are so many questions flying through his mind, yet he canât seem to utter a single word. Is that really how everyone perceives his friendship with you?Â
Wonwoo is going to throw up. There's a tightness in his chest and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He wants nothing more than to hear all of this coming from you, not Mingyu. The frustration of wanting to talk to you about this is taking a toll on him, he doesnât want to believe that Mingyu is telling the truth.Â
Itâs not fair. Itâs not fair that Mingyu gets to know these things about you while Wonwoo is just left in the dark. Did he make you feel like you couldnât tell him anything?Â
Ever since Wonwoo met you, it was evident that he can be quite merciless when it comes to his relationships, but thatâs romantic, not platonic. Wonwoo was convinced that he treated you equally because thatâs how it's supposed to be.Â
Hearing Mingyu talk about his friendship with you in that way caused Wonwooâs whole world to crash down. And the only thing he can do in moments like these is seek out your comfort, except he canât anymore. Not only has he been a terrible friend without realizing it, but heâs pushed you so far to the brink that youâd rather ignore him than attempt to hash out whatâs been troubling you.
âI-I didnât know that's how you guys saw our friendship,â Wonwoo falters, clearly taken aback, and still attempting to fully comprehend whatâs been said to him.Â
âItâs not that we see your friendship with her that way, it is that way. If I was her, I wouldâve cut you off a long time ago.âÂ
âWell, thanks, Gyu. I feel like this couldâve been said before she started ignoring me,â Wonwoo huffs, trying to come up with the words to explain his side.
âIt was kinda obvious, man,â Mingyu shrugs.Â
âWas it, though? If I had known, I wouldâve at least tried to be better,â Wonwoo attests, tired of feeling like the bad guy.Â
âHow about you just talk to her about it instead of sulking,â Mingyu suggests.Â
Desperation hijacked his rational thinking, making Mingyuâs advice sound plausible. Talking to you seemed out of the equation since you started ignoring him; he feared you wouldnât even answer if he tried to call or show up at your door. But he canât go on like this, especially now that he knows there is more to your friendship than he had initially thought.Â
four.Â
For the first time in Wonwooâs life, heâs unsure about what decision to make. Although he wants nothing more than to knock on your door, his feet stop him from even entering your building. So instead of mucking up the courage to talk to you face to face, he waits inside his car. Without a solid plan, he continues to sit there, biding his time.Â
Never has he acted so pathetic in his life, not even for the sake of his relationships. He knows that nothing will come from sitting there, just watching, but before he can even comprehend what he is doing and where he is going, he is already across the street from your place.Â
Gripping on the leather of his steering wheel, he just couldnât help himself. He canât help but watch your silhouette from your window. The curtains are drawn, but there are glimpses of you walking around. Heâs such a fucking loser. What type of person has Wonwoo become that he resorts to stalking you from the front of your building?Â
After all that Mingyu has enlightened him on, Wonwooâs attitude has become less angry and more apologetic. There was a line he pondered crossing, and it practically mocked him. Stepping over that line would mean getting answers from you, demanding to be brought into the light that you had snuffed out from under him. But his uncertainty of the outcome outweighed his decision to do so.
That same apologetic attitude died a fiery death after watching Seokmin leave your apartment. There you were in all your glory, the tiny sleep set clinging onto your body as the wind forced its way into the door of your building. Then there was Seokmin, grinning like a fucking idiot as he waved goodbye.Â
âShit!â Wonwoo grunts as he ducks down, not wanting to blow his cover. His car was visible from where the two of you stood, hoping that you werenât able to recognize it in the dead of night. Â
Boring holes into the back of Seokminâs head, Wonwoo's guilt diminished, floating away with the cold night breeze. You were fine, and he shouldâve known that the root of all his problems started with the name Lee Seokmin.Â
The shape of your figure had faded into the confines of your building. Yet Wonwoo can still make out your body through the glass window of your door. He canât help but gawk at your skimpy attire, your ass practically on display for the whole world to see. The deathly twist in his gut intensifies the more he ponders on what may have happened during Seokminâs visit. Wonwoo desperately wants to stop thinking about the possibilities, especially because your lack of clothing only fueled that inferno inside his mind.Â
Heâs never been more annoyed at Seokmin in his entire life, not until today.Â
Wonwoo allowed himself to ignore the signs, but only for a moment. But this, this he canât ignore. Not after what he witnessed. He allowed himself to stay ignorant when it came to your silence because he had been so naive to think that it was your decision. Now that he knows Seokmin had somehow weaselled his way closer to you, Wonwoo had to make sure this plan of his didnât go on any longer.Â
âŚ
There is a heat inside Wonwoo that, for some reason, he cannot extinguish. The curve and outlines of your body burn in the back of his retinas. No matter how many times heâs tried to put himself to sleep, the image of you is clear as day in his mind. Sparks crawl their way up his spine, and he desperately wishes that it would just go away.Â
Thereâs a point where Wonwoo gave up on trying to sleep altogether. Thoughts of you, your body, and the oh-so-painful reminder that youâre still ignoring him. How can he sleep with everything going on? What made things worse, was the fact that the one person he wanted to call most likely wouldnât pick up.
Wonwoo wasnât the type of person to let his emotions get the better of him, but this abrupt rift that has been torn between you two has him acting out in ways heâs never acted before.Â
The urge to grab his phone, to text you, to give it one more try, grows perpetually every second he lies awake.Â
One more time. One more attempt. What does he have to lose?Â
Wonwoo stands up, pacing around nonsensically, trying to think of what to say. For all he knows, you may not even answer, but there is the urge to hear your voice one more time and see your name pop up on his screen. Wonwoo yearns for you so much so that it supersedes any part of common sense he has left in him.Â
[12:52 a.m.]Â [wons <3: darling. can we talk? please?]Â [not delivered]Â
The silence within the four walls of Wonwooâs bedroom is harrowing. Out of all the outcomes he had considered before he texted you, the outcome of you blocking him was not even on the list.Â
Before jumping to some sort of conclusion, Wonwooâs finger hovers over the call button with skepticism. If you donât pick up, then thatâs it. That would be the definitive answer to all his qualms.Â
âThe number you have called is not available, please leave a message at the tone,â an automated voice affirmed his suspicions.Â
The notification is gut-wrenching, but he canât just sit here and pretend like itâs okay for you to do this. To decide without any of his input. What kind of friend were you to just drop him like he was nothing but an old toy? How unfair did you have to be to not even try to talk it out before you completely cut him off?Â
five.Â
Pacing outside the door of your apartment, Wonwoo hasnât been this nervous in years. He has always been so sure of himself, but itâs almost two in the morning and heâs still continuing to weigh his options.Â
Itâs either youâll let him in, and talk for the first time in almost two weeks, or youâll kick him out before he can step a foot past the door. Desperately, he desires that it be the first option. Losing you over this would break him, and not in the way you would expect.Â
Heâs already lost his mind. This shouldnât be the way you two break it off. It wonât be the way you two break it off. Not if Wonwoo has a say in the situation.Â
Sweaty palms and white knuckles rasp against the dark oak that barricades himself from you. Thereâs nothing that Wonwoo wants more than to see your face glowing in front of him. And before he can even get a word out to you, the door whips open. The person on the other side is someone Wonwoo is starting to get really sick of seeing.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing here?â Both Wonwoo and Seokmin speak in unison.Â
Scoffing, Wonwoo rolls his eyes at his so-called friend, âI think I should be asking you that. You clearly donât live here.âÂ
âMinnie? Is someone at the door?â your voice is as sweet as a glass of lemonade on a hot summerâs day.Â
Minnie. Wonwoo almost threw up in his mouth.Â
Minnie. The nickname is parallel to nails scraping against a chalkboard.Â
âYeah! Your neighbour just needed to borrow something,â Seokmin goads through a sickly sweet smile, eyes never leaving Wonwooâs. Without as much as a word of mockery, Seokminâs expression had said more than his words ever could have.Â
Despite his soft demeanour, Wonwoo knew there was something vile hiding under Seokminâs thick skin.Â
A rebuttal to his deception is on the tip of Wonwooâs tongue, but your melodic voice echoes throughout your home once more. The refute dies within his throat, and he hopes you will come out and see what your âneighbourâ is looking for.Â
âOkay!â is the only response you give out. The reverberation of the water hitting the shower tiles causes Wonwooâs stomach to practically lurch out his abdomen.Â
âWhatever youâre doing, sheâs not gonna fall for it,â Wonwoo jeered, staring at Seokmin with looks that should kill, if he could.Â
Seokmin chuckles bitterly, âShe already has.âÂ
There was no need for Wonwoo to put two and two together; he already knew what Seokmin was alluding to. It left a dreadful taste in his mouth.Â
Puffing out his chest, Wonwoo takes a step closer towards the man he once considered a close friend. Sizing him up, he knew that Seokmin was the reason for the wedge in your friendship. And Wonwoo had no problem treating him as such.Â
âYouâre fucking sick, you know that?â Wonwoo practically spits in his face.Â
âI could say the same thing for you,â Seokmin mutters, unperturbed, âI didnât have to do anything you know? Just a little push and she fell into my lap, voluntarily.âÂ
âIâm not just going to let you get away with something like this. Sheâs my best friend.âÂ
âI think the correct tense is was. She was your best friend,â Seokmin taunted.Â
He was wrong about Seokmin. Even though he had known about his friend's crush on you for years, Wonwoo didnât expect the lengths Seokmin would go to in order to cut him out of the picture.Â
Before a breath could even escape his lips, Seokmin cuts him off, âI think itâs time for you to leave. She doesnât want to see you.â
The last few words that he heard come out of Seokminâs mouth nearly fell on deaf ears. It was practically a whisper, laced with enough malice to almost kill the fighting spirit inside him. Almost.Â
âBy the way, donât text her anymore. Iâve made sure she wonât get any more notifications from you.âÂ
The realization had struck Wonwoo hard. He knew you well enough that you wouldnât just block him so carelessly, without a word no less. Yet he was no match for Seokmin, not after the fact that you allowed him into your home, your heart, so willingly.Â
âŚ
Lying in wait, Wonwoo observes the door of your building once more. The distinct difference this time was that Wonwoo had no guilt left in him to care. Whether you see him or his car across the street didnât matter to him anymore. The only thing Wonwoo wanted to make sure of was whether or not Seokmin would be leaving your place.Â
After what had felt like hours, he watched the same scene from last night unfold in front of him once more. The abhorrent hug goodbye that is exchanged between you and Seokmin is nothing but a cue for Wonwoo to make his move.
With as much grace as a bull in a china shop, he slams the car door shut, not even bothering to lock it before he stalks his way to your apartment. The anticipation caused the hairs on his neck to stand straight up. As he presses the button to your floor, he can only deliberate whether any of Seokminâs words hold any truth behind them.
 Certainly not, right? Not after all the years you spent together. His friendship with you couldnât end on this vague note. You were always the sentimental type, holding onto trinkets, memories, and even people for far too long. It should be the same with Wonwoo; he believed it would be the same.Â
If there is a chance, you should allow him to talk and voice his opinion. No, Wonwoo will voice his opinion; there has never been a time when you havenât let him speak.Â
As the elevator ascends to your floor, anxiety begins to weigh down his shoulders. The feeling is atypical and Wonwoo hates how his throat constricts. He hates how his clothes feel too tight and stuffy despite his casual attire. Is this how it feels? To actually care about someone and whether their decisions might affect him later on?Â
Footsteps echo within the hallway, and with each step he takes, the illusion steadily becomes more vivid. Your front door almost looks like itâll take a mile before Wonwoo can reach it, rather than a few feet away.Â
After what felt like years, Wonwoo stands before the entrance of your home once more. The foreboding tension wonât vanish and itâs starting to make him itch. Without another thought, Wonwoo forces himself to knock on the door knowing itâll be you who answers this time, not Seokmin.Â
âMinnie? Did you leave something agaiâ,â Abrupt silence engulfs your words, leaving nothing but an echo to resonate within the expanse of your long hallway.
âWonwooâŚâ your voice falters, like you genuinely didnât expect to see him, let alone have him standing outside your door.Â
âDid you fuck him?â Wonwoo cuts to the chase, not leaving any room for you to ask questions.Â
His blunt words caused a frown to grace your soft pink lips, and Wonwoo almost felt bad for being so frank. But he doesnât have time to beg for your forgiveness, the anger surmounting to nothing but harsh words and a push past you and into your home.Â
âDid you fuck him? Yes or no?â Wonwoo continues to press you for answers, agitated that you have the audacity to stand there dumbfounded. As if you donât know who he's talking about. âCâmon, you know who Iâm talking about,â he can almost laugh at the situation in front of him.Â
How is it that all the rage he built up for Seokmin is being taken out on you? Wonwoo had no clue, but the thought of his friend-now-enemy defiling you, tasting you, while Wonwoo desperately waited for your call caused him to direct all his anger to you. Perhaps itâs undeserving to do so, but Wonwooâs frustration spoke for him before his brain could even register what he was saying.Â
âThe past two weeks youâve been ignoring me, spending your time with him, do you know where his true intentions lie?â Wonwoo continues to rant with unpreparedness.Â
He didnât plan what he was going to say because there was a moment of doubt, he had expected you to open the door just to slam it right back in his face. The look you gave him almost brought him to his knees. Your doe-eyed expression couldâve broken down every wall heâs built if only he hadnât let his anger proceed him.Â
Wonwoo shouldâve cried, to plead for you to take him back. To go back to the way things were. He knew he fucked up the moment he uttered a single word. The hurt flashed across your face as though Wonwoo turned your world upside down.Â
âSeokmin doesnât care about you, and Iâll tell you that now because you need to hear it. He just wants to fuck you! And you just gave that to him?â He canât stop talking.Â
âStop. Just stop fucking talking Wonwoo. Do you hear yourself right now?â You cut off his rant. âOut of all people, who gave you the right to tell me who I can and cannot fuck? Especially knowing the type of person that you are. It doesnât matter if Seokmin and I had sex. What matters is the fact that you think you can barge in here at two-thirty in the morning interrogating me over a situation that doesnât involve you.âÂ
âNo. Iâm just trying to help you. Seokmin isnât the person that you think he is,â Wonwoo seethes, annoyed at how youâre twisting his words.Â
The bile in his throat rose further, as you stood before him like he had just kicked your dog. Wonwooâs extremely aware of the hole he had dug for himself, but he couldnât stop. His urge to self-sabotage overrides his common sense.Â
âThat is exactly what weâre not going to do right now. Seokmin has been a better friend to me than you have been in all the years weâve known each other. I have been by your side for years, bending over backwards. I was at your beck and call and Iâm tired. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and warn myself about you. I fell in love with my best friend, and the worst part was that you didnât care enough to notice.Â
âI gave up so much for you, Wonwoo. I lost myself trying to please you. But I give up. I was drowning in my love for you. It consumed every part of me to the point I couldnât even come up for air. And Iâm just sick of it. I know thereâs a part of you that cares about me too, but itâll never be equal. Iâll always love you more than you love me, and I donât want to feel this way anymore.âÂ
âWhat hurts me the most, is that you thought it would be okay to accuse me of things I didnât even do. I did not sleep with Seokmin, but why is that what you care about? He respects me and just wants to be there for me. And thatâs a lot more than I could ever say about you.âÂ
Your voice was terrifyingly calm, with neither a lilt nor a hiccup during your speech. The heft of your declaration crashed back down onto Wonwoo, leaving him at a loss for words.Â
âIâm sorry,â is the first thing to come out of his mouth after a long pause.Â
âPlease. Itâs late, you should go home,â you sigh, but Wonwoo couldnât move an inch. He refused.Â
âIâm sorry,â he repeats himself, looking into your eyes, searching for the look of endearment you had always given him.Â
âWonwooâŚâ there it is. Your voice had broken for the first time since Wonwoo stepped foot in the place.Â
âPlease. Iâm so fucking sorry. For getting angry, for doubting you, for not realizing how badly you were hurting,â Wonwoo resorted to pleading.Â
A look of desperation mixed with agony was the only thing you could exchange for his apologies.
The stare of grief you had given him caused a shooting pain to swell throughout his limbs. The one that begins at his fingertips, creeping up to tug at the strings that held his heart together. He wanted this nightmare to end, and he was sure you did too.Â
âItâs time for you to go. Iâm tired, Wonwoo.â A single tear slips and trickles down your cheek.Â
He regrets not wiping it away for you at that moment. It was the first time he had been so unsure of his actions. So, instead, he walked out of your apartment, leaving nothing but the lingering scent of his cologne and a piece of his heart.Â
Wonwoo's world was crumbling underneath him, and there was only one person he refused to let go of. He shouldâve known.
He shouldâve known that you were in front of him this whole damn time.
end of act one.
âš a/n: if you liked this story pls dont be afraid to let me know thru a reblog, comment or ask! also a big ty to my beshies forever @vapidlynn and @bunnyjjongie who i've texted multiple times in the wee hours of the morning for reassurance abt this thing hehe.
#jeon wonwoo#seventeen smut#wonwoo smut#svthub#Hiraya-M#thediamondlifenetwork#seventeen fic#wonwoo x reader#seventeen imagines#seventeen fanfic#svt fic#svt smut#svt fanfic#wonwoo#seventeen scenarios#seventeen angst#wonwoo fanfic#wonwoo seventeen#svt imagines
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I know plenty of people have already made a version of the "Jinx is alive" theory post but I've also seen so many of you mourn her death that I decided to gather all the evidence and make another post, turning this theory into a fact.
Because Jinx is alive. It's not a speculation. It's literally there.
The first thing I'm going to mention are the context clues Jinx gives herself. First, the last thing the ghost of Silco tells her. I think the cycle only ends when you find the will to walk away. Then, the realization she comes to when Vi hugs her in the cell. You're never gonna give up on me, are you? What she tells Vi after she leaves her in that cell. You don't need to worry about me anymore. [...] And yes, her initial plan is to kill herself, because she thinks the only way for Vi to move on is for her to be gone. And Ekko gets there just in time to stop her but it looks like he doesn't convince her to abandon her plan, just change it.
And later, when she joins Vi in the final fight. What does she tell her? Still don't get it, huh, sis? I'm always with you. Even when we're worlds apart.
Everything that happens after is constructed specifically to let us and Vi believe that Jinx died. Until we get to this scene:
Caitlyn is studying the Hexgates designs.
She's looking through the pages depicting the place where the final fight happened, specifically focusing on the air vent shafts, while toying with a monkey bomb head - the same monkey bomb that Jinx used in her supposed last monents.
She looks down at the monkey...
Watch the eyes. The realization hits her...
And she smirks, knowing. Jinx used one of the air vents to escape before the explosion.
I've studied the explosion frame by frame. First, a small yellow explosion goes off - Jinx sets off the monkey bomb.
As it becomes bigger, she shoots out of there
this is still the beginning of the blast when we can still see her, and the big boom that destroys everything starts 10 frames later
Last context clue is a reference to the very first episode, which is clearly depicted in this gifset here, so instead of explaining, I'll just send you there to check for yourselves.
One thing that is speculation here is, how exactly did Caitlyn come into possession of the monkey bomb head? I doubt she found it there because it would have been turned to dust. And I'm thinking, Jinx took it with her and left it for Cait to find as a clue. She didn't want Vi to know but maybe she wanted Cait to figure it out. I imagine her sneaking into her house and maybe leaving it somewhere for Cait to find, like her desk or something. It gives Cait an idea, a gut feeling she needs to check, and that allows her to figure it out. Just like we are supposed to figure it out on our own.
Bottom line, Jinx is alive. She escaped the explosion through the air vents, then boarded the airship and left the city, convinced that the only way to give her sister a happy ending is to take herself out of the equation. The glitching closing shot saying The End in Jinx's colorful handwriting is a sign that she is telling us that this is where this story ends, like she's saying "don't look for me. It's over." That's also probably why we aren't shown what Caitlyn does with the information she now possesses.
I hope this helps take away from the grief đ
#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#vi arcane#jinx arcane#caitlyn kiramman#jinx and vi#vi and jinx
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no no i'm actually not done with timebomb/jayvik parallels. bear with me for a minute
the contrast between the everybody lives timeline ekko and heimerdinger ended up in and jayce's post-apocalyptic wasteland timeline is pretty funny indeed, but i love that juxtaposition because these practically opposite realities serve the same purpose for ekko and jayce. they solidify their goals and, by extension, their willingness to save the person they love.
ekko gets to see the world where his community is thriving; where his childhood friend/crush is loved and happy and enjoys her life in ways the version he knew couldn't. but he learns that this powder is not a complete stranger. this powder is just as talented as jinx, just as brilliant and quirky and so familiar despite all the differences. it has to mean that in his timeline, the girl he knew is still here. she was always there. nothing that has happened to her during these years managed to kill her. ekko would never left his people behind, but he also won't leave jinx: he's the only one who gets through to her and convinces her to do the right thing, even though she might think there's no way for her to be a good person whose life is worth something. ekko doesn't simply believes it's not true. he knows it for a fact.
jayce gets to see the world where viktor won; there's nothing besides corruption, abominations and death, and that's the fate that awaits jayce's timeline if he doesn't succeed. viktor caused all of this, but he's also the one that leads him to the top of piltover. he's the one who gives him a key to salvation, and it is as simple as it is intricate: it's jayce himself. this viktor is a lonely god trapped in a perfect hell he created and it took him ages to realize his mistake â and he believes jayce is the only person who can stop him before it's too late. in all outcomes, it's him. it is as much as a statement of a cosmic powerful being as a belief of a dear friend. jayce is not even certain there's something left of viktor in his timeline, but he has to be. he won't fail. it's a promise he keeps.
it is about saving the world, but also about saving someone very dear to you. someone who is so lost in their own faults and mistakes they forgot they're not beyond salvation, but they don't know you won't save the world without saving them
#oh the boy saviour and & the only person who can show viktor the way. you both will always be famous#still haven't processed the finale i have so many feelings about all of this!!!!! pretty much insane#timebomb#jayvik#arcane#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers
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Biggest Fan Pt 1 - CL16
Requested by @nina-or-anna-or-nora "Heyy!! đ I saw you were asking some requests so I have one for an Smau!! (If you want to do it ofc) I was thinking about the reader being kinda like Sabrina or Olivia (a performer) and then Charles being like her biggest fanđ¤just a super cute fluffy thing and he goes to every show he can or posts her and stuffđĽš"
AN - Had so much fun writing this SMAU for you! Don't be afraid to send in requests that aren't apart of the Pizza Menu! I love Sabrina but I'm not a die hard fan so I have no idea how many outfit changes she has or the order she performs so if it's a little messed up I apologize! Also LMK if you wanna see me do this with more drivers and make it a little series of the drivers being head over heels for their girl friend!
Summary: Just Charles being in love with Y/N... and basically everyone in the F1 community!
Charles insta stories over the fall break
Twitter
Charles instagram
Liked by landonorris, youruser, carlossainz, and 2,090,513 others
charlesleclerc We're ready for you Austin ft. Y/N and all the fan gifted hats that will make an appearance this weekend tagged carlossainz and youruser
user5 I love how he makes a post for work and still finds a way to get Y/N in there
user6 your honor... it's them. It's always them!
youruser I'm ready to be back in my home soil!
user7 I constantly forget our girl is from the US charlesleclerc you mean MY girl user8 Charles will never learn to share charlesleclerc not when it comes to MY Y/N youruser alright calm it down you charlesleclerc yes maam
user9 I hate feeling single but I do love you guys!
carlossainz Will I ever get a post with just us?
user10 Carlos... they're a package deal user11 If I don't expect anything less, you shouldn't either youruser damn... catching strays carlossainz Y/N I thought we were friends!
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Your insta story
user12 how does it feel to be living my dream
carlossainz he's been smiling at his phone for 10 minutes because you posted him
youruser I love knowing he loves me as much as I love him
user13 his eyes
charlesleclerc that's one lucky man
youruser he really is!
user14 I love the way you guys love each other
landonorris you guys disgust me with how cute you are together
youruser you wish this was you huh? landonorris I miss when you were to shy to interact with us... kinda a meanie youruser you'll learn to survive
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your Instagram
Liked by charlesleclerc, yourbff, oliviarodrigo, and 3,092,172 others
youruser Thanks for the warm welcome home... see you in a few weeks for Vegas!
Look for a surprise tomorrow around noon YeeHaw time!
charlesleclerc Ooooo I wanna know the surprise
user18 I can't believe I have notifications on and Charles is still here before me
charlesleclerc you snooze you lose! gotta be quicker than that! youruser love you need to be a bit nicer! user18 no this is on me... I should know no matter how much I love you Charles just loves you that much more! user19 I'm sobbing at this! Charles is so unhinged when it comes to Y/N
landonorris Can I also know the surprise
charlesleclerc NO!
user20 YeeHaw time is SENDING me! For anyone confused she's talking about CST
user21 THANK YOU! It makes so much sense now that you've explained but as a non F1 Y/N fan I didn't realize she was in Texas haha
user22 I love their height difference. I forget just how SMALL Y/N is.
Your Insta Story
charlesleclerc I can't wait to watch you!!
user23 HOLY SHIT! I can't fucking wait!
user24 omg! I'm so excited for this!!
landonorris: I hope you have a ticket saved with my name on it!
youruser: I do including the rest of the grid... spread the word pleaseeee
user25: Oh to be in the US rn to experience this concert! I just know it's gonna be amazing
Twitter
Charles Insta story during the show
Max's Insta story during the show
Youruser: Max! hahaha you had me cracking up in the first slide... then tearing up through laughter in the second. Thank you so much for finding time in your title fight to support!
maxverstappen1: I wouldn't have missed it! Had to see what all the hype was about. Please invite me again
Grid Members Stories (Lando, Carlos, Oscar, Yuki, Liam, Franco)
#formula 1#f1#f1 x you#f1 imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one imagines#f1 smut#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#cl16 one shot#cl16 fic#CL16 SMAU#Charles leclerc smau#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula one smau#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic
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Iâve been thinking about this a lot. I realize itâs sort of connected to this chart:
This was a chart that puts into visual terms a system used by US President Dwight D. Eisenhower to decide what to prioritize and do when, and is supposed to help increase oneâs productivity. I think Stephen Covey also used it in that Seven Habits of Highly Effective People book that my school was obsessed with for some reason. You can put Tasks You Need/Want To Do into each box, depending on how urgent and important you deem them, and then that willâyâknow, in theoryâhelp you decide what order to do them in.
Tim Urban of Wait But Why (he also has some bullshit âenlightened centristâ and Elon Musk-fanboy opinions I donât agree with, but I love his series of popular posts and TED Talk about procrastination) suggests in this post that procrastinatorsâ matrices tend to look more like this:
We tend to live in Quadrants 3 and 4, avoiding Quadrant 1 until itâs absolutely necessary and weâre sent into a panicked frenzy of productivity. But the trick to this is, if you think âoh, clearly what Iâm doing to procrastinate is my passion, so Iâll pursue that instead,â it turns from a fun, desirable Q3 or Q4 task into an undesirable Q1 one. It might be the exact same task, or similar, but now itâs urgent and a responsibility and people expect things of you and thatâs scaryâŚso now youâre avoiding the task you used to love!
OP seems to have experienced this with art, where it started as a Q4 task (doodling in class, to avoid the Q1 task of learning about Henry VIII) or Q3 task (updating their webcomic on a regular schedule) to a Q1 task when they made it their career. Iâve gone through it with writing: fanfic or random cracked-out stories I write just for myself? Fun! I wanna! My senior thesis, which is literally the same thing, writing short stories? Oh no, now itâs an assignment, and thatâs to be avoided.
And like OP said, this means procrastinators are rarely just sitting idle, and they are getting stuff done! Even if itâs not urgent stuff, or stuff that looks important to you right now, it is stuff that is getting done. Of course, what this Q3 or Q4 stuff is can range from âmindlessly scrolling through Instagramâ to âworking on a successful webcomic and letting your creativity flow.â The other day, I found some free Latin textbooks online and found that I was doing the exercises in them as a means of procrastinationâI was literally teaching myself a dead language instead of doing the psych homework I was supposed to be doing. My brain is broken. (Of course, if I actually took a Latin class, Iâd probably start procrastinating on doing the exercises for THAT tooâŚ)
I donât know what the conclusion is hereâdoing a Q1 job I hate to save mental energy for Q3/Q4 stuff I love? I donât want to never try and seek credit, payment, etc. for things I love to do for fear that theyâll become Q1 things and Iâll start hating them. I donât know, Iâm only a college undergrad here. But I thought OP brought up a very good point that Iâve actually been using for a whole as a framework to look at my procrastination, and I thought Iâd provide an alternate visualization thatâs helped me too.
i feel like i had a massive breakthrough with understanding in hindsight how adhd has affected my relationship with art, and i sat there for about an hour just like
#adhd#neurodivergent#procrastination#executive dysfunction#productivity#prioritization#creativity#mayaâs musings#i hope i didnât derail this post too much#op you make some very good points and ones that have been churning in my mind for a long time!!
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pa said the well's run dry he said the bank came out yesterday and said we're gonna have to sell the blog and get work in the city like the rest of folks less we can come up with something real quick. he was all ready to sign the papers today but i begged him to wait to give me time to find something anything and he sighed and said he could give me a week and not a minute more. and i nodded and i cried because he was right when he said there was next to nothing i could do and even if i did find a miracle. all our neighbors shuffled off weeks months years ago because the posts dried up and the bank came knocking. i break open my piggy bank hoping there's enough drafts in there to tide us over. i sit there. and i have to decide if it's worth spending everything i have just to buy us an extra day. and i know this extra day will consist of walking around mute and shellshocked. and i decide. it's worth it. i give pa all my drafts and he looks at me and shakes his head and his voice cracks when he says i better keep hold of those for getting settled in the city. i could fight him. i don't. i leave all my drafts on the table and storm out the back door. there must be something. they must have just missed it. pa says he knows this blog better than anyone. but i grew up here, same as him. and as much as he loves it, i love it more. when i was seven years old he tore the place apart looking for me after i wandered off. but i wasn't lost. i'd found a tag to play in, happy as could be. he never found me, or the tag, i just wandered back out when i got hungry. it's pa's blog, but it's my home. i know where the creeks and streams and ponds are. i know if i look hard enough, i can find a new posting well.
day one, i strike out. i wake up before dawn. i come in after dusk with no posts to show for it. pa's boxing up our plates when i walk in. he doesn't say anything. i don't either.
day two, i wander a further. yesterday, i was following a map with areas of interest marked in order of likelihood of success. today, i pick a direction and walk. i have more to show for it, if only barely. i get home with one bucket of posts. pa tells me i should keep them.
day three i wake up because pa's dragging furniture into the yard for a yard sale. when i ask him what he's doing he says he'd rather be paid flop drafts by our neighbors than flop drafts by the bank. i walk back inside. get my map. i get home after midnight with empty hands.
day four. when i wasn't looking, the cold single minded determination turned into fear. i'm realizing i'm running out of time. i'm realizing the reason pa didn't put up a fight is because he knew there was nothing out here. i could kill him. what kind of farmer depends on one well? my heart isn't in it today. i head out after noon. i'm back before dusk. there's been a stack of empty boxes sitting outside my room since pa told me the news. i haven't touched them. tonight, i take one and put away some of my things.
day five. there's more ground to cover. it's more out of a sense of completion than anything. so that when we're in the city, i can say, i did everything i could. i looked everywhere. this was the only option. i stop midday for a rest. the ground i put my palms on is curiously softer than the rest. i dig. it comes away easily. it turns into mud. heart thudding in my ears, i keep digging. the mud gives way to a trickle of posts. ears roaring. i keep digging. hands covered in mud. the trickle turns into a stream. i start yelling for pa. i'm too far from the house for him to hear me, but i'm not thinking about that right now. i'm thinking about the posts in front of me, clear and fresh. text posts. gifs. amvs. there's enough to live another twenty years on this blog. i splash my face. i laugh. i fill my bucket. i'll have to bring more. we'll have to get the pump set up. because there are enough new supernatural posts here for me and my children to build a life.
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honey | bob floyd x reader
Word Count: 13,800 Cross Posted on AO3 Warnings &Â Notes:Â 18+, AFAB!Reader, Succubus!Reader, Virgin!Bob. Shapeshifting, elements of magic, blood, parties, first-time blow jobs, cunnilingus, first-time sex, virginity loss, vague plot twists despite the severe lack of an actual plot. This was a crack warmup that just became...this Brief Summary: "Rich, hot, and a virgin. What's wrong with you?" Or, Bob's coworkers jokingly summon you, a succubus, to take his virginity, but everyone gets a lot more than they bargained for. You included.
Well...
This is new.
"It wasn't me! I promise!"Â
"Well, someone drew my symbol on the floor." Folding your arms in front of your chest, huffing. All that for this?
"It wasn'tâ" He freezes, teeth flashing through an awkwardly stretched smile. "I...my coworkers were playing a prank on me."
Lovely that you learn that after you've planted your ass in his lap. "So you don't want me here, pretty boy?"
Because he is cute. Floppy brown hair and the biggest blue eyes you've ever seen, hidden behind a pair of wireframes that perch on his freckled nose. His partner must be an incredibly happy person, having someone like this walking around their house.Â
"N-no!" He blurts. His face falls. "âwait! Well-well, I...uh, I...I don't wanna be rude, but I mean I-I..." Your index finger presses against his thin lips, silencing whatever he had left to say. If history is anything to go off of, you wouldn't have been able to understand what he's trying to tell you anyway.
But...well, you are stuck here, so you'd might as well ask. "What's your name?"Â
"Ro-Ro..." A short pink tongue darts out, wetting his lips. "Robert."Â
"Well, Bobby," you can't help but say it, a little too eager to watch the blush in his cheeks deepen. "It's a shame that you didn't. You're pretty cute."
Even in the dark, you can see how his face reddens, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows his words.Â
"But! I'll be on my way," lifting yourself from his lap before you can become too comfortable there. Something bumps into your ass; you think that may have been his cheek. "Do me a favor and tell your partner that they're a very lucky person, would ya?"
"Partner?" Squeaking.
Your feet freeze. There's no way he's... "Don't tell me you're single."
But Bob nods his head like it's the simplest confession he's ever made. "That's half of the reason why they went through the trouble of making you come here." He pauses, his left eye twitching as a thought visibly crosses his mind. Whatever it is, it's got him looking away from you entirely. "Said I'm...said I'm too old to be aâ"Â
"Wait, wait, wait." Holding your hands up. Need a moment of silence to understand what the hell you're hearing. "Your coworkers summoned a succubus to take your virginity?"
His lips flatten into a line. "...yeah."
"Well, that's shitty!" That's a new one. Finally, something to top the time a sorority summoned you to party with them for...some reason. Bragging rights, you think. "Do they pay you enough to put up with those assholes?"
It's been a minute since you've run into someone so nonchalant about a demonic creature standing in the room with them, never mind hold a casual conversation with you.Â
But here Bob is, shrugging his shoulders like this happens to him every Tuesday. "You learn to deal with it when you're paid a hundred sixty-thousand a year."
"So you're a rich virgin." It shoots out of your mouth before you realize the thought crossed your mind.
Again, Bob is too calm about this. "I...guess?"
"Rich, hot, and a virgin." Modifying your statement. "What's wrong with you?"
Those blue eyes widen. Blinking rapidly. "Huh?"
"Well, there's gotta be a reason why you don't have a line of people out the door." You say, crouching back down in front of him. Sure wish he'd let you do something about that tent in his pajama pants. "If it's not the looks that reel the ladies in, it's the charm, and if it's not the charm, it's the money. And you've got all three, pretty boy."
It's not supposed to be a serious topic, not as if you're about to go and write an article about his non-existent sex life to publish in the weekly paper. But this guy is actually thinking about it. His brows furrowing as he mulls over his thoughts, mouth parting, only to fall closed once more.Â
"I think it has something to do with the nature of my job and my severe inability to start a conversation," he concludes, with a little nod of his head.Â
You wonder if you could put him in your pocket and take him home.
Now that you think about it, you're pretty sure you're standing on some a ship right now. Is he some kind of cruise captain? "That'll do it."Â
Bob doesn't have anything else to say about that, awkwardly closing his legs before you can get another look at what he might be packing under there. Whether or not he caught you staring or he's just become aware of his current state, you're not sure. It's such a shame that someone else summoned you on his behalf; he would have been a fun one to toy with.
Hm.
"Do you wanna fuck with your coworkers before I leave?"
He blinks at you. Not a thought behind those eyes. "Huh?"
"Well, you've already got me here," an excited lilt in your voice, maybe a bit too eager to present your totally thought-out idea. "Believe it or not, I double as a poltergeist on Tuesdays and Thursdays."Â
Or whenever you feel like, really.Â
"That would be mean," shaking his head. What is he, some kind of saint?Â
"They just summoned a demon to fuck you in a locked room," deadpan.Â
For a moment, it's quiet, and then.
"...that's a fair point."
As it turns out, Bob lives on the world's shittiest cruise ship. A ship without a pool, a dimly lit cafeteria without a single Michelin-trained chef in sight. Long, narrow, colorless hallways. There aren't even individual rooms, just even smaller hallways stacked high with bunk beds. On the thinnest mattress you've ever seen, might you add.Â
Worst of all, rather than allowing personal clothes, everyone is dressed in clothing provided by the ship. Whoever picked the color schemes needs to be introduced to a fucking color wheel.Â
How do you trick the head of the United States Navy into summoning you? You have a few choice words about this place.Â
You appear in the mirror first. A little flash of your face, and then you're gone, nothing but a figment of the imagination. Again, later in the night, those two coworkers of Bobs have convinced themselves that they had made it up.Â
The plan was to end it there and to come back in the morning to turn it up a notch, but there's a chair sitting in the bunk room that's just so comfortable. So what if you lounge there all night, poking through a book Bob had on the foot of his bed? The room just dark enough to allow them to see your vague silhouette, air so quiet that every turn of the page seems to echo.
Not one of them sleeps, but Bob does, snoring away in his bottom bunk. He sounds like a little cat, tiny little noises that sound closer to grumbles than snores.
When morning comes, you show up in their showers right as they turn around. You appear on opposite ends of crowded rooms and in high-stakes meetings with fancy-dressed higher-ups just to get a reaction. Tapping on their shoulders when they think they're alone. Somehow, you managed to get away with swapping the labels on the mustard and hot mustard. Effectively ruined several breakfasts in one fell swoop.
One, this loud-mouthed blonde you forgot the name of, wakes up to you sitting on his chest. Who would have thought that he had such a shrill scream?
But you might take it too far when you chase them down the narrow hallwayâfive grown adults shrieking like they're in a haunted scream park and not a Navy ship.Â
Or at least, you thought you did.Â
"I can't-I can't believe you justâ!" Bob's laughing into his palms, keeling over with it. His mouth is moving, but he can't get anything out. Bubbly, loud giggles that travel around the tiny little fan room, bouncing off every corner.Â
"And here you said it would be too mean," gently mocking, unable to fight off the smile that works its way across your face. So big you can hardly speak through it.Â
That should technically be the last of your encounters.Â
You should be heading back through your portal and off on another job, but Bob doesn't utter the proper incantations to make that happen. He starts to, but then you ask about his book, and he squeaks at you for spoiling the ending, and then you begin to second guess if you're recalling it correctly.
Then the conversation starts, and suddenly, you've been bound to him for three weeks.Â
If it were anyone else, you'd complain and force the portal to open by yourself. There's more than one way to break the spell and go back to where you came from, but there's something about Bob Floyd that keeps you lingering. Maybe it's the way he blushes when you get too close. Maybe it's because you can't remember a time when someone kept you around solely because they liked talking to you.
Maybe it's because he has a fantastic taste in literature. Anything he's reading somehow becomes glued to your hands, unable to be put down until you've reached the final page.
"I can't believe nobody has gotten bold enough to comment on the strange figure reading a book in the corner every night," you giggle, nothing but a misty haze hovering over his head.Â
His lips curl into a smile, toothpaste spilling over as he fights not to bite his toothbrush. "I think they're afraid of another hallway incident."
"Are you afraid of another hallway incident?" Appearing in the mirror, if only to get your message across.
"Nah."Â
If you had known that the Admiral would be the final person you would get to scare before Bob left the ship, then you probably would have gone all out on it. But at the moment, all you're thinking about is how unfair and rude it was to pin Bob for the mistakes that his pilot made up in the air. The guy can't even fly a jet. How is it his fault that the pilot confused their lefts and rights?
So you show up in the mirror, jump on him, and spiral about the room in a foggy haze before rustling down the hallway in such a storm that it creates a draft. There seems to be a growing trend with men having high-pitched screams on this boat.
If Bob ever catches wind of the incident, he never brings it up.
Hell, maybe he thinks he's left you behind because he sure is surprised to turn around and find you sitting on his kitchen counter one morning.
"Did ya forget about me?"
"Please." Clenching at his heart. "Knock first."
Wordless, you tap your knuckles against the cool marble.Â
Knock.Â
Knock.Â
Knock.
Those pretty blue eyes roll, their color a little more vivid now that he's wearing that deep blue button-down, the sleeves pulled back just enough to reveal the thick muscle of his forearms. They're still swollen from his workout; you wonder if he knows you were watching.
"Got a hot date tonight?" Kicking your foot at him, brushing against his slacks. The last thing you're expecting is for his hand to wrap around your ankle, lightly squeezing, as if to test out the feeling.Â
"I got invited to a party and can't get out of it," he hums, letting your leg slip free of his grasp. Then, after a moment. "Wanna come?"
"You're inviting a demon to a party?" Slipping off the counter, batting your eyes at him.Â
All it takes is one step forward for him to stumble back, wide-eyed and stuttering. "Is that... am I not supposed to do that? I'm sorry."Â
"Hey, I never said no," your hands find their way to his chest, gently pushingâhis back thumps against the fridge. "What color do you like?"Â
"R-red?" That cute mouth of his wobbles, the slightest hint of facial hair coloring his upper lip. It'll be gone by five, but it's nice to see it for once.Â
Red it is.
You think this party was thrown by the same sorority who invited you up to party with them because this is...not what you were anticipating. Shot glasses, shitty beer, and flashing lights, the thump of the music so heavy that your bones really with it. You don't even know where the speakers are, lost to the swarm of people crammed into this tiny bar.
All of a sudden, your long, sultry dress has shed into a short little number that blends in with the rest of the crowd. You can't see him, but you can feel Bob's eyes jump onto your frame.Â
"How did you do that?" Tilting his head to the side like that will somehow help him find an answer to his question.Â
"Magic, I suppose," there's an actual explanation for it, but you've long since forgotten it. Something about manifestation and energy and a word too big for your tongue to pronounce. "I actually have zero idea how it works."
There's so much going on that you find yourself vanishing for a few minutes. Nothing but a misty haze lingering over Bob's head as one of his buddies shoves a drink into his hand and pushes him down into a cushioned chair. You haven't the slightest clue what kind of golden liquid is swishing around in that cup, but it's got a flavor that has Bob's nose wrinkling.
"Someone's not a drinker," observing aloud, a sudden presence in his lap, your knees caging his hips. Â
"Was it that obvious?" Sheepish, with that little sideways smile of his. Whether that's from admitting to his inability to drink alcohol or from where you've chosen to sit, you're not sure.Â
"Your little nose wrinkle gives you away," your little tap on his nose makes him blink. "You're almost a little too clean-cut for this place."Â
There's nothing special or different that he's done about his appearance, but the aesthetics of the crowd make it look like he's walked into the wrong party. A little bit too put together when you compare his ironed button-down and perfectly gelled hair to the half-drunk faces, trendy, cheap outfits, and that group of shirtless men over in the corner.
At least you have the luxury of changing clothing at the drop of a hat. Otherwise, you would be in the same boat.
"He said it was only gonna be a dozen of us," Bob lifts the glass to his lips once more, his nose twitching at the bitter flavor that greets his tongue. He's trying to hide his reaction, but you can still see the disgust in his eye.
"More like twelve dozen," plucking the glass from his hand, setting it on the little table next to the chair. "You could've convinced me this was a high-end frat party."
Looking around is enough to make you question if 'high-end' was just you being generous because this is looking more like an average party by the second. A myriad of nameless faces lost to the flash of the lights: red, blue, green, purple, yellow, a cycle that never loses its pattern. But even the strain it puts on your eyes isn't enough to distract from the sloppy grinding of bodies against each other, hands in the air, writhing to a beat that definitely does not match the music.Â
Something is starting to press against your inner thigh. An insistent pressure that almost feelsâ
Damn, how long have Bob's cheeks been bright red like that?
"Are you good?" Pressing the back of your hand against his forehead, clammy to the touch. "You're red as a balloon."
"Yep," his voice strained, so tight it may snap at the slightest hint of pressure. And he's looking over at the painting on the wall, one of those uninteresting things with only a few paint splatters to stain the pure white canvas. Not the kind of thing worth staring at so intently.
You shift forward, thumb swiping at the sweat beading at his templeâ
"You sure get hard easily." Teasing. You hadn't even been trying, but that's definitely a heavy bulge pressing into you, straining against the thin fabric of his slacks.Â
A muscle in his jaw flexes, swallowing hard. "Please don't say it out loud."
"I can fix that, you know." Perhaps curling your hand around his jaw is a little bit too bold, but he isn't making any moves to push you away or tell you to stop. "Some say I'm pretty good at that."
"No, no, that's okay," Bob shakes his head, gently dislodging your hand from his face. "I don't wanna make you do that."
"You're not making me do anything," leaning the slightest bit closer, tapping him on the chest with an index finger. "I'm volunteering. There's a difference."
He swallows again.
Someone calls out his name, waving a hand in the air as if to guide attention to himself as he emerges from the crowd, drink in hand, smile so big that it ought to blind someone. You vaguely recall seeing him back on the ship; name starts with an 'f'.
...shame that you don't remember anything more than that.
But Bob is uttering some Navy jargon that you don't have the capacity to keep up with, and your knees are starting to hurt, skin stuck to the cheap leather cushion. It's much easier to turn yourself around, back leaning against his chest, now free to scan over and watch the part of the room you couldn't see before.Â
It's not that you don't feel him pressing into the curve of your ass; you just...well, you kind of forget about it. The moment you lay eyes on the game of beer pong happening behind the pool table, you're invested. Straining your neck to try and get a better look at who is winning, crossing two fingers as a lady in a little white skirt goes up against a guy who looks two beers away from a total blackout.Â
Neither of them are good at it. Far from it, actually, but the girl's friends are cheering her on, and the man has missed the cup thrice now, stumbling over his own two feet. He misses. She scores two. He gets another point while she's trying to catch a ball that has rolled off into her crowd of friends.
You don't realize you've been squirming until Bob's forehead thunks against your back, shoulders rising with his inhale.Â
"Where did your buddy go?" Chirping in the lightest tone you can muster. As if you're blissfully unaware of what's going on.
"Maybe we should get up," entirely evading your question.
It's a worthy idea that goes down the drain within the same minute it's suggested. What you couldn't see from the couch was how big the crowd actually is. It's a swarm that swallows you whole, someone's shoving into your back, and Bob's stumbling into you, and it's all you can do not to explode into a plume of mist.Â
You're only distantly aware of his arm curling around you, cinching you to him as if to anchor you in before the storm can wash you away. Your leg slotting between his is far from intentional. But it happens, and you're nose to nose with him, and the corner of his eye is twitching, and you swear you can hear a dam breaking.
You don't entirely know how you wind up here. Squeezing into this sorry excuse of a bathroom stall, your hands greedily dipping beneath his shirt, chest to chest. Every little meet of your lips has him gasping against you. His tongue tastes like the honey biscuit he was nibbling on earlier, the one that dripped on his shirt and left little white crumbs all over his lap.
You could eat him.
"We shouldn't..." He's whispering. A secret meant for your ears only.
Everything screeches to a halt. "Do you wanna stop?"
Shaking his head. "No."Â
He makes it so damn easy. Legs parted just enough to allow your thigh to slot between them, immediately squeezes down around it the moment he recognizes it's there, drawing you right up intoâ
A shiver wracks through him. So intense that you can feel it.
You don't need to worry about taunting him. He's reacting as if you've already made a remark. Nose scrunching as he tries to steel his face, warding off the softness that once lingered there, taken aback by the sudden pressure between his legs. Such a strong front. Shame that it folds the moment your hand curls against the bulge in his slacks.
"You're bad at this," a teasing lilt in your tone, lazily working your hand against him. No real rhythm or method to it, simply a shifting pressure that you can already feel his hips beginning to follow.Â
"It's been a while," muttered like a confessionâa sin of the past.
Now that has your attention. "You've done this before?"Â
The bathroom door squeals open, the handle cracking against the tile so hard that some of it tears off the wall entirely, shards of ceramic scattering across the floor. A chunk of it rolls under the stall on a one-way track to strike the side of your shoe. You don't recognize the too-loud voices that enter the room, but Bob seems to, eyes rolling for a fraction of a moment.Â
"Something similar...once," hardly audible over whatever the hell is being discussed by the sinks.Â
You'll have to get the full story out of him when there aren't extra ears lurking mere feet away. Right now, though, you're tugging at his zipper, yanking it down as far as it will go, your hand darting through the gap.Â
Good lord.
It's always the quiet ones.
"I'm surprised you can get through security with this thing," there's so much of him that you've got to use your other hand, fumbling to pop open his button.Â
"With what?" Bob's brow furrows. You lightly squeeze the base of him. "...oh."Â
One of the men shouts. Two laughs chime after it in hot pursuit.
There's a considerable weight to him that you hadn't anticipated until just now, his pretty, flushed cock throbbing in your hand. Muscle memory kicks into gear without much thought, gradually gliding up from his base to his tipâruby red, almost angry in appearance, such a sharp contrast to your fingers.
His hips follow your motions, subtle little backs and forths that you nearly miss at first, keen on chasing your touch but too shy to allow himself to do it. Teeth sink into his bottom lip, pressing so hard that they leave an indent behind. Breathing hard through his nose, eyes screwing shut like he's fighting something back.Â
You know what he's doing. Can't let a single noise escape for fear of it reaching the other ears in the room, but there's no way they can. Not with all that racket they're making.Â
It's fifty-fifty if you still remember how to interrupt electricity, your one sure-fire method of making sure nobody can see what you're doing, but there's only one way to find out.Â
Getting on your knees in a bathroom stall might be a new one for you, but here you are, blindly sinking lower and lower. Can't quite see what you're doing, your eyes hopelessly locked on Bob Floyd and his pink cheeks. Hasn't even realized what you're doing yet.
There's probably a good minute or two where you just hover there, waiting for the moment he realizes that you've moved. Eye-level with his cock, lazily thumbing each and every bead of precum across his plush head, a little routine to decorate the loose up-and-down of your hand. But his eyelids remain closed, and you're just so damn impatient.
The greet of your tongue has him jumping up onto his tiptoes. His head smacking into the flimsy stall wall.Â
"What was that?"Â
It's as if the room has morphed into a library. Complete, utter silence. Nothing but the faint breaths of the men gathered outside of the stall, Bob's, and your own. From the gap, you can see a black and yellow shoe taking a step forward. Silently inching closer.
The whites of Bob's eyes are so big that you can hardly see the color that decorates them. Drowned out and lost to a wave of fear that you can feel prickling through his body. If only those stupid yellow shoes would turn around and walk away; you wanted to play this card a little bit longer.Â
The bathroom plunges into darkness.Â
So you do still remember how to do that.
Someone screams. You're not sure who, but it was far too high-pitched to be the man right in front of you. Maybe it was the loser with the yellow shoes. Audibly stomping across the tile floor, shouting at each other as they fight for the door. The hinge squeals. Someone accidentally kicks the corner of it on their way out.Â
And then it swings closed. The room falling quiet as the sliver of light peeking through the gap disappears entirely.Â
Your mouth opens, gently drawing Bob into your mouth. Thicker than what you anticipated, uncomfortably stretching your lips around his head, but it's only a slight inconvenience. You can hardly think about it. Especially not when flicking the tip of your tongue across his slit elicits that sort of noise. Pitchy and drawn out, slipping out of him before he can stop it.
"That'sâ" his palm finds its way to your forehead. Pushes lightly. Jerks away. Lands on the side of your cheek instead. "A lot."Â
You have very different definitions of 'a lot'.
You're actually moving rather slowly, gradually working your way down his length. He's only just beginning to touch the back of your throat, but Bob sucks in a sharp gasp of air as if you've just sprung this on him. You'd complain if he didn't taste so sweet. Just can't help but take him as far as he'll go, the tip of your nose kissing the cold metal of his zipper, throat so full of him that your head spins.Â
He's trying to say something. Little fragments of words that might or might not be your name. Breaking apart the moment they fall into his mouth, shattered pieces raining down upon you and your eager ears.Â
Maybe you're too quick about this. A fraction too eager to draw all the way back, only to fall upon him once more, lazily letting yourself gag around him if only to hear him groan low in his throat and to feel his thighs shudder beneath your palms.Â
"I'mâI'm already, I..." Bobby's panting. Pawing at the side of your face. Doesn't know if he wants to pry you off or push your head back down.Â
You expected this. You knew he would be a little bit quick, but all of a sudden, he's twitching in your mouth, a rope of cum decorating your tongue and...
Honey.
Why does he taste like honey?Â
It feels like a fluke at first. Has you drawing all the way back, sucking gently on his spasming tip, but it doesn't change. Overwhelmingly sweet and thick on your tongue. It doesn't...since when did human men taste like this? Good lord, what took you so long to find one like this?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Bob's abruptly pulling out of your mouth with a sharp 'pop,' the toilet paper roll audibly spinning as he grabs at it.Â
The overhead light flickers back on. Damn near blinding. You nearly miss the shade of cherry decorating his cheeks.Â
"Has anyone ever told you that you taste like honey?"Â
"You can't be serious."
"No, something's gotta be wrong. I've picked something up somewhere," Bob doesn't seem to realize that he's started pacing again, striding back and forth across the room. "That doesn't...it shouldn't taste like honey!"
Your leg kicks off the edge of the exam table, taping him on the hip as he drifts past. "And what? You think a mystery STD will?"
"Maybe there's one I'm not considering," he stops dead in his tracks, looking you dead in the eye. "You should get tested too."
"Hard to catch a human virus if you aren't human," dragging your foot up the side of his thigh, "maybe it's just a succubus thing."
Bob's hand curls around your ankle, bringing it to rest comfortably against the side of his hip. "Huh?"
"I mean, like...maybe I taste it differently based on how much I like the person?" You're already grasping at straws as it is, but it's so hard to think when Bob is rubbing the back of your ankle like that. Diligent fingers pressing into strained muscle, drawing the tension away with every loose spiral.
"No," shaking his head as if to add emphasis to an already firm word. "I don't...no, that wouldn't make sense."Â
That was your one and only theory, but, well, if he insists. "Alright, honey cum."
"Please, don't."
You're gone by the time the doctor decides to come back. Doesn't have a whole lot to say, but a few weeks later, there's a neatly folded paper on the counter with a whole bunch of negatives on it.Â
Bob catches you looking at them, but he doesn't have anything to say about it. He's more intrigued by your appearance than anything else, brushing the pads of his fingers against one of your horns as he drifts past.
"Have you always had these?" He chirps, on a one-way track back to his coffee maker. His poor heart might stop if he pours himself anymore, but that doesn't seem to be stopping him.
"Technically, yes," it's a lazy reply, but you're not sure what else to say. "I didn't think to hide them today. What is that, your third cup of coffee today?"Â
"Fifth," he corrects, unashamed about finishing off the pot. There's just enough left to fill his mug to the rim and then some. How he doesn't spill it, you'll never know. "Do all demons have horns?"
"Depends on the race, really," shrugging. "Succubi have short, narrow horns with vibrant colors, crossroad demons have horns similar to a Texas Longhorn, fallen angels don't have any at all..." You could keep going, but you would be talking for a long, long time.
You probably shouldn't be lingering around Bob's apartment, invisible to the naked eye as you lounge in the soft red couch and gaze out the window at every rise and fall of the sun. He seems to know that you're still here; hums something that sounds like your name when the cushion sinks beneath your weight.Â
It's a cute apartment, really. A thrifted coffee table and an oversized bookcase that has already run out of room, excess books spilling over onto the shelves that were once reserved for figurines, and clever callbacks to movies.Â
There's a stash of DVDs lurking inside of the TV stand, and in the ottoman, a pair of signed and framed Star Wars posters decorating the hallway. He thinks that he's spread out the anime enough to pass undetected, but you can clearly see the manga lurking in the smaller bookcase in his bedroom. There's a Naruto sticker hiding on the side of the fridge, a Pokemon in the bathroom cabinet, and so far, you have counted four Trigun figurines.Â
Five, if you include the one you just watched him unwrap and place next to his model jet. This one kind of looks like him...
"Are you still in here?" Bob calls out from somewhere on the other side of the apartment. It might be the first time you've heard his voice rise above a mutter since he left the doctor's office.Â
You're not entirely sure where he is. Haven't exactly moved from the couch now that the sun has fallen again, blankly gazing at the distant ocean as if it's a home you once knew like the back of your hand.Â
He appears in the hallway. Fiddling with the edge of his t-shirt, his eyes squinting as he tries to scan the room without his glasses. You're still waiting for him to realize that he left them next to the stove again.
"Come out?" He tries again, ambling forward. "Please?"Â
"Looking to terrorize your boss again?" Dissolving into solidity, the chilly air nipping unpleasantly at your skin. Invisible was better. You couldn't feel the temperature when you didn't have a body.Â
Or...maybe you're feeling the temperature incorrectly because Bob looks like a shrimp mid-boil. Red in the cheeks, so flushed that it crawls down into his neck, and the sliver of chest showing through the collar of his shirt.Â
"Bob?" Tilting your head to the side.Â
"I wanna return the favor." Deadpan.
Blink.
Blink again.
Blink one more time.
You don't follow. "Pardon?"
"I mean, I..." his eyes skip around the room. Bouncing off of the coffee table to the poster behind your head, the miscellaneous figurine shelf, and the refrigerator. "You did something for me, and I...don't...like the idea of it being so one-sided?"
"Bob, I'm a succubus," there's supposed to be an underlying hint there because this is kind of the very reason for your existence, but Bob doesn't seem to pick up on that. Or maybe he does and just doesn't react. "Do you even know how?"
A beat passes.Â
His head shakes. No.
"I'm a quick learner?" Offering it up like he's bartering. You wonder if you can get him to start offering crops and livestock. "Is that...okay?"Â
You're not sure if it's the novelty of the idea or if it's because of that soft, doe-eyed expression he nails you with, but something has you agreeing to it. But just because you're on the same page together doesn't mean you'll be the very next sentence that he reads.Â
You're gone the moment he's in front of you.Â
"Where did youâ"
"But you'll have to catch me first." Reappearing behind him. Walking your fingers up his spine.Â
He turns.Â
You're gone. Drifting behind his back again. Blowing at his nape.Â
"Hey!" He squeals. So shrill and pitchy that it nearly throws you off. Only manage to dissolve into a plume of mist when he reaches for you.Â
Bob is already spinning around. Blocks you from getting to his back again. And there must be some kind of 'tell' of where you are because his eyes follow you every which way. You'd might as well be fully human because this isn't working.Â
You don't know how you get into the kitchen. But you're on one side, and Bob is on the other before you've even become solid. You stumble three steps to the right; he's already there. You go left. But then he goes left. You dart rightâcorner to corner to corner. Shit, you've put yourself in a corner. Either way you have to get past him.Â
"Why are you so damn quick?" Giggling. Your feet slide against the hardwood. Not as fast as him. This will only last so long.
"Did you forget." He jumps left. "I'm in." Right. "The Navy?" Left again.
"I thought that meant you would be good at swimming!" You're slipping. Grabbing at the countertop before you can hit the floor. "Notâthis!"
He breaks the pattern first. Shoots around the corner so quickly that you nearly don't have time to spin back around. His fingertips graze your back as you turn. You're tearing off around the corner. Dissolving bit-by-bit andâ
There's a pressure around your waist, and the room is spinning, and you don't remember when or how your feet left the ground.Â
"Bobby!" You're squealing, throwing your arms around his shoulders before you can slip.Â
It's hard telling when or how things escalate the way that they do. All you remember is the coldness of the floor as he sets you back down, the heat of his arms around you, and the bump of his nose against your cheek. And melting. Fuck, you remember melting into him like snowflakes in July, meeting him halfway, his soft lips melding with yours so easily.Â
You do remember when you fall against the couch. Nothing but ruby red cushions and the lingering pink in Bobby's cheeks, settling between your legs with such ease that you almost wonder if you've done this with him before.Â
Christ, he could probably convince you that you've already had a few nights together.Â
There's no reason why or how he should know that you're sensitive beneath your ear, mouthing at the skin there but never making a move to mottle it with bruises. Respectful. Irritatingly so. Never leaving behind a mark, not even when he bites at the collar of your shirt and grazes the skin that lurks beneath.
He wasn't lying when he said he was a quick learner. Is he sure that he's never done this before? Because he gets your lounge shorts off surprisingly easily. His waist dipping between your thighs, swollen lips finding your lower belly once more, working down, down, down...
"Shit," his tongue has you jolting, entirely caught off guard. "A little sudden there."
It's hard to feel any sort of annoyance when he peeks up at you from beneath his lashes, tongue hanging out of his mouth like a dog. "'m sorry."
Your hand curls into the back of his hair, a fraction longer than it was when his so-called friends summoned you right into his lap. Only takes the slightest pressure for him to dip his head back down, licking a slow stripe against you. He misses your clit on the first try, pulls away a little too soon. But he finds it on the second, visibly perks at your sharp inhale, and retraces his steps until you do it again.
Learning should imply that he doesn't know what he's doing beforehand. You're gonna need to steal his dictionary off the shelf and look up the proper definition because you're pretty sure he was lying.Â
There's no damn reason why he should know how to point his tongue and trace it around your clit, teasing until your hips lift off the mattress. Temporary relief comes in the form of the hum that rumbles out of him, vibrating through your nerves like electricity. He's settling into it now, laying flat on his belly, arms curled around your thighs as ifhe belongs there.
Fuck, and he's working his way down. Pressing lazy, open-mouthed kisses into your dripping pussy, stopping to lap at your entrance before pressing inside. His tongue isn't even all that long, but the wet heat and the tip of his nose pressing against your clit yanks a gasp out of your throat, eyes snapping shut.Â
Your thigh squishes against his cheek, leg looping lazily over his shoulder as if that could somehow possibly bring him closer. Fingers twist in his hair, nails scraping across his scalpâ
"What the hell?" Your own voice sounds foreign. Detached from your body.
Bob lifts his head, and good lord, his lips are glistening. "Hm?"
"What is this little bump on your head?" Tapping your nail against it, uniquely bony compared to the rest of his scalp. Feels like a perfect circle.
"I don't know what they are," nonchalant, already dipping back between your legs, "'ve had 'em since I was born."
You can see them when you push his hair out of the way, little indentations beneath the skin, solid as can be. One on each side, a few inches above his ears. These kind of look like...
No, that's not right.Â
That sweet tongue of his finds you again. Drawing lazy shapes that transform into shock waves on impact, rumbling up your spine and down into your fluttering thighs. Letters. He's drawing letters, and you can hardly decipher what they are, but the voice in the back of your head whispers that he's writing is name into your cunt. Over and over until he's certain that you'll never find pleasure in a name that isn't his.Â
"Bobby, I..."
He hums, hands curling around your hips, pulling you in. Doesn't let go of that same lazy pace that he just set for himself, curling through an 'R' and into an 'O' so intoxicating that you find your own mouth mimicking it, too. You don't mean to cum so soon. You really don't, but your eyes unintentionally lock with his, that tiny smile curling the corners of them, and shitâ
Your back twitches up off the bed. Crying out so sharply that it rips right out of your throat. Your head might just tumble off your shoulders. Floating up into the clouds, heaven-bound. Weightless.Â
The hands on your hips tighten. Anchoring you back down. Bob's burning tongue working you through it like he's done it a hundred times until your body is tensing and jerking away from every little lick.
"Jesus," sucking in a breath, "Christ."Â
Bob lifts his head, swollen lips twisting into a cheesy grin. "Wrong name."Â
"Nerd," tapping him on the nose.
"Demon," biting the inside of your thigh.Â
It's hard telling who sputters into a laugh first. Giggling like school kids as he climbs up the bed, his mouth clumsily finding its way to yours. It's so much easier to hold his face when his glasses aren't in the way; don't have to worry about smudging a lense or accidentally knocking them off his face entirely.Â
If you thought that you were bad, then Bob Floyd is another monster entirely because once he's gotten a taste of you, he can't get enough.Â
Because he's on you again in the morning, kissing at your shoulder and working his way down your naked belly before his final alarm goes off and forces him to start getting ready for work. His sweet tongue working over your clit, chasing down a vastly different zig-zag pattern as he eases a thick, curious finger into you. Lazily searches for a little spot that steals your breath away and has you babbling for another.
In the evening, he's nibbling and kissing at your thighs while you wait for the pizza delivery guy is on his way. Leaves behind sporadic little marks that gradually acquire a delicious tenderness that makes you gasp when you try to cross your legs later.Â
You answer to the sound of your name on an average Tuesday afternoon. An unapproved presence in a top-security Naval building, perched up on the edge of a locker room bench like you belong there. Like you, too, are a pilot with a willingness to perform and just the right amount of crazy flowing through your veins.Â
Bob doesn't utter a word about it, but you know that one of his superiors has chewed him out again because his cheeks are pale as can be, eyes only softening at the sight of you appearing before him. And maybe he's a little bit too eager to fall to his knees, peppering your skin with kisses that make their way to where you crave them the most.Â
Again and again. An addict who seems to need his fix every time he's overwhelmed. It's your purpose, the very thing you were built for, but the invisible string that draws you into him is unlike any other you've been wrapped up in before. An undescribable something-else lurking behind the charm of those wireframes and his warm, dizzying voice. Never asks for anything in return, all too content with eating you alive.
Your favorite might be the night that he pulls a muscle in his shoulder blade. One little misstep in the gym is all it takes for a night and a half of overwhelming soreness, binding him flat on his back, minding his left side. But even the mix of ibuprofen, Tylenol, and a dash of pain isn't enough to keep him grounded.
"I have an idea." It's been forever since you last heard him speak. The last time you recall hearing his voice was last night when he asked you to pass him his toothbrush.
"Uh oh," not in any particular hurry to lift your head from his chest, naked and oh so warm to the touch.Â
"What?" He's trying to act offended, but the attempt dies mid-air. Won't be making a living in acting any time soon, that's for sure.Â
Tapping your finger on his collarbone, overtop a thin white scar you've yet to learn the story of. "Don't 'what'Â me."Â
His laugh sounds like thunder. Deep and rumbling into your ears, a tune you didn't know you craved until just now.Â
A familiar warmth settles against your cheek, diligent fingers tracing the edge of your jaw. "What if I told you I had another idea?"
One of these days, you'll learn to quit being surprised.Â
Today, you're shocked that he asked you to ride his face.Â
Shit, but here you are. Knees precariously resting above his head. Trying your best not to let your thighs clamp down around his face as he dips his tongue between your folds, half-lidded gaze fixated on your expression. You've long since lost count of how many times you've felt this. The soft whisps of his short hair tickling your skin, the way he hums when he hears you gasp.
"You've got," raking your fingers against his scalp, anything to distract from the calculated zig-zag across your clit, "a problem."Â
"Maybe that's what's wrong with me," muffled. His every word rumbling through your core and reaching up into your chest.Â
"Yeah, well..." drinking in a shuddered breath, "you being addicted to eating me out was not on that list."
It's his fault for laughing again. Should have known that the vibration would have twisted into your nerves and sent them firing, thighs impulsively clamping down around his head with no regard for him or breathing.Â
Fuck, it takes a moment to remember how to move them again.Â
"I'm sorry," and you're about to lift yourself up, let him get a full breath of air, but his hands find your hips, anchoring you into place.Â
"'s okay," pausing to lap at your clit, wet and messy, and god, the sound. "I don't mind."
He'd say that if you accidentally suffocated him to death, too.
Your nails drift across his scalp. Dragging just enough to feel the shift of hair beneath your fingertips, disturbing the hardened bump lurking just a few inches above his ear. You know that it's probably because of the swelling, but you swear it feels bigger than it did a few days ago. And maybe it's sensitive too because, for the briefest moment, you catch the whisp of a gasp. A sharp little intake of air punctuating the way he drifts down to toy with your entrance.Â
They're worse the following morning.
He's only just beginning to settle between your legs, diligently kissing down the inside of your thigh, when the brush of your knee sends him reeling. Pawing at the sides of his head. Wincing. Yelping at his own touch.
"Did Iâ"
"No!" He blurts. Pitchy. "I'm sorry, it's, Iâit hurts."
Even the delicate pressure of an ice pack is too much for him to tolerate, hissing like a cat the moment the material touches his skin. You're not entirely sure what to make of them. Dissolving into the air around him for a better view, drifting around his head, twisting every which way as if discovering the perfect angle will reveal the secret.
It doesn't...look infected. Strained is the best descriptor you can come up with. As if something is trying to claw its way out from beneath the skin.Â
"And you said you've had these since you were born?" Musing aloud, resisting the urge to reach out and touch them.
Hands find your waist as you settle into your human shape once more. "That's what I'm told." Then, tilting his head to look up at you, not making any move to get out of his chair. "Why, what did you see?"
"The same thing you're seeing," you can't help but push his hair back, watching the short strands gradually slip free from your fingers. "Must be a really odd birth defect."
He hums, blinking up at you without a word, perhaps not as concerned about his situation as he should be. Not a trace of worry clouding his features, though the corner of his eye twitches when you unintentionally drift over one of the bumps.Â
It's the same kind of gaze that gets you into trouble three nights later.Â
He doesn't seem to realize that he's doing it, drowning you in pools of ocean blue every time he looks your way. You don't understand how you make it through the night. He's just so damn distracting. Tapping his foot against yours beneath the table, legs tangling as a nameless mid-forties man in a fancy suit rambles on about the honor of working in the Navy and things you don't care to follow.Â
You don't know how you get to the hotel bed. Only vaguely aware of the sensation of your feet leaving the ground, thighs clinging to the sharp bone of his hips. One of his hands is on your ass, and the other is smoothing up your back. Presses just hard enough to have you arching, chests bumping together hard enough to break your kiss.
"Bobbyâ"
"I know."
The room collapses into a world of pristine white cloudsâor maybe you've just fallen onto the bed. You can't tell for sure. Can't be bothered to. Not when a familiar pressure appears against your lips, his firm body settling between your legs with a weight you can't possibly ignore.Â
He tastes like the hot chocolate they poured into his cup when he turned down the champagne. Sweet and so warm that you can feel yourself melting, and you must be made of chocolate, too, because he moves as if he's going to eat you alive. Hands rising to cradle your face, settling into a lingering liplock that has you gasping for air.
Your head is spinning. One hand curling around his bicep. The other smoothing up the side of his burning neck. Hardly aware of how your hips lift up from the mattress, but all too aware of him meeting you in the middle. A new pressure forms between your legs. The not-so-subtle bump of a growing bulge against your cunt.Â
Curse the layers of fabric separating you from each other. Can't do anything but meet him halfway. Mewling into his mouth like a cat in heat. Legs curling around his hips. The heels of your ankles digging into his ass, urging him closer, closer, closer.
Something trickles across your fingers. Smearing across his neck.Â
"What is that?" It's sliding down your palm, scurrying past your wrist and beyond. Water? No, where would it have come from...
Bob draws away, an unusual chill filling the space he once occupied. "What is what?"Â
Your hand is crimson.Â
Why is your hand...?
"Oh my god." Reeling back. Hands held high as if that can possibly stop the blood that drips from your fingertips, so fresh that you can still feel the warmth of it.Â
It's everywhere. Staining the fresh sheets, smeared across the back of Bob's neck, pooling at the shoulders of a brand new uniform that will never be the same again. It's on the shell of his ear and in his hair andâ
"Oh my god," you sound like a broken record, but it's all you can say. "Bobby, your head."
Looking back on it, you're thankful Bob booked a room with two beds instead of one.Â
There's no salvaging or rectifying the utter disaster going on in the bed that he claimed as his when you first got here. The sheets and comforter torn clean off, lying in a messy pile, waiting for the front desk to call back and tell you what to do with them. From here, they look perfectly fine, still the same shade of pure white, as if nothing has ever happened.Â
Your attention meanders across the floor, tracing the lines of geometric shapes, following them on their journey between the beds until they disappear beneath the mattress. Bob's foot still hangs off the edge, a smidge too lazy to try and readjust himself now that he's found home here on your chest.
It's almost strange being here. Snuggling on a hotel bed with a man who didn't even summon you wasn't on the job description. Hell, the last time you even set foot in a place like this was probably years before you realized what you were and fully committed to the whole demonic entity thing.Â
"Why don't you ever leave?" Bob's voice rumbles into your collar, a smidge deeper than it was the last time you heard it.Â
"You never said you were satisfied with me," darting from your mouth before you can realize what you're about to say. A script so rehearsed that your tongue needs no instruction to utter it.
The room is quieter than it was before.
Which...is odd because nothing about it has changed. The cheap air conditioner still rattles to its own mechanic tune. You can still hear the girl talking on the phone in the hallway. Through the wall behind your head, the neighbor's television still plays the rerun of what sounds like a football game.Â
Bob's eyes are open. Can feel the flutter of his lashes against the side of your neck. If you didn't know any better, you would mistake it for the dustings of tiny butterfly wings.
But he doesn't say anything.Â
"I'm sorry, I...that may have come out the wrong way."
"'s okay." Says it so quickly that you wonder if he's listened to your apology at all.Â
Antsy, you reach for his hair, fingers coming through the still-damp locks. A little bit fried after two full washes, but it was the necessary sacrifice to get all of that blood out.Â
You've got to crane your neck to see the culprit, but it's still there, in the same state it was the last time you laid eyes on it. Scabbed over. No longer as swollen as it once was, but there's still something solid lurking beneath the surface. You could have sworn you saw a flash of white in there before it had closed up again, but looking at it now, there's nothing.Â
"I think I just like being around you," concluding, after a long moment.Â
'Like'Â may be an understatement, but...
The corner of his mouth is turning upward. You know it is because you can feel it against your chest. "I like being around you, too."
And here you thought you'd figured out what Robert Floyd defines as a party.Â
Bubbling glasses of golden champagne, the same shade of the delicate chandelier sparkling overhead, crystals cascading down like a spiral staircase. Enchanting. Beginning three stories up and only ending mere feet away from where you stand, you could probably touch it if you tried.Â
Such a stark contrast to the midnight peeking through the windows, twinkling city lights of every color in the rainbow drowned out by the blinding white and gold palette you've found yourself in. Unfamiliar faces and dresses worth more than a car fresh off the lot, wrapped up in the whimsical tune of a live orchestra off to your left.
So many things to look at. Luxury desserts and vivid red couches cozied up beside the fire. There's more to be discovered, entire rooms you have yet to venture into, a custom theater, a cocktail bar...yet, your eyes continue to drift to the only familiar thing here.
And his appear to do the same.
Locking from opposite sides of the room, the buzz of the crowd melting into a distant hum, as if you've just plunged into the very crystal oceans that color his irises. The heat of his gaze is the only thing keeping your head above water, burning across every inch of your skin. It's a wonder you don't go up in flames right here and now.
Glass shatters somewhere to your left. A lady yelps. Someone swears. But you can't bring yourself to look to see what just happened. Captured in a never-ending trance as you move about the room, only able to look away for milliseconds at a time.Â
One of Bob's friends are talking to him, mouth moving a mile a minute, but Bob doesn't seem to be listeningâFireball or...something. The name should come to you easier than it does. Bob's told you so many stories of them together, but you fear you've spent too much time lingering on the sound of his voice to actually store and remember the fine details.Â
The music swells.Â
Heads turn toward the melody, and with it, feet begin to move. It's as if one-half of the party has vanished, opening up the floor enough for you to walk without worry of bumping into anyone. You wouldn't even be in this position if filtering through different forms was socially acceptable and not the quickest way to give someone a heart attack.Â
It's like drawing too close to a fire, the flames so bright that you can hardly look at them without being blinded. Except the flames are the open buttons at the very top of his long sleeve, milky white skin peeking through the gap. He's grown a bit since this was fitted, the fabric hugging a little too tightly around his chest, straining already weakened seams. Two of the buttons have already snapped off, unveiling more than he would ever willingly show off.Â
He would catch your staring if he weren't already doing the same damn thing. Knows he's been caught, too, cheeks dusting a cherry red the moment he tears his attention away from the slit in your dress, showing off your upper thigh.Â
But Fanbase is still talking, rambling on about the subplot of a movie that you've yet to see, and you're simply not interested enough to linger any longer than you have to. Gliding past Bobby as if you hadn't just made eye contact with him, your hand trailing up the side of his arm on your way past.Â
The door couldn't come quickly enough, and you disappear through it with nothing more than a wayward glance over your shoulder.
He's still looking at you.Â
It's so much quieter in the hallway, all that noise and music vanishing the moment the door swings shut behind you. You're not sure where you're going; didn't plan this far ahead, but you can already see a floor-to-ceiling window that looks interesting enough. A decorative fountain rests in front of it, the water sparkling with the city lights.
The view is better at night. Still breathtaking during the day, but...god, something about the velvet black and twinkling shades of neon really bring out the charm of a city like this. Though you've still yet to figure out why a Navy event is all the way up here, in the tallest building they could find. One of their own venues would have sufficed; then they wouldn't have had to rent all these hotel rooms.Â
"Your dress looks awful familiar." Maybe Bob is hiding magic powers of his own because there's no way he could have snuck up on you without floating here.
But there he is. Shoulder resting against the wall, arms folded over his chest. The rolled sleeves are struggling with his forearms, fabric so tight that the threads silently scream.Â
"Does it?" Coy. You entirely stole this idea from the front cover of the magazine he had sitting on the kitchen counter.Â
You don't mean to step forward at the same time he does, but you do. Nose to nose in the blink of an eye, so close that your vision goes a little blurry and out of focus.Â
A door slams down the hall.
The invisible string snaps.
Your hands are in his hair, and his are on your waist, and mouths are clattering with all the grace and elegance of a car crash. The back of your leg hits the fountain. Sends the thing jumping as you all but slam into the window. It's a wonder you don't go crashing through it, plummeting through miles upon miles of midnight neons.Â
Because it certainly feels like you did.Â
Head spinning as if you're in a free fall. Fingers twisting in his hair before unspoken forces can peel you away, sloppily falling into tune with the bold dance of his lips. Fuck, it's so much more than what you've spent the past fifteen minutes picturing in your head. He tastes like cola and honey, so dizzyingly sweet that a sugar rush buzzes through your veins.
What is it with you and this human?Â
It's as if you're one half of a magnet, hopelessly bound to him by forces that you can't quite identify. Yielding to the subtle pressure of his hands, allowing him to gather you into his chest as if you aren't close enough as it is. Heaven, Hell, and Earth could collapse right here and now, and it still wouldn't be enough to drive a wedge between you.Â
"And here I thought you weren't the PDA type," that thought was supposed to stay in your head, but it's far too late to do anything about it.
"I think this is a little beyond PDA," Bob's mouth twists into a smile too soon. Teeth smash together with a sound that makes you wince.Â
There are voices down the hallway, familiar, but you don't care to try and identify them. Whoever they are, they don't get a chance to see you here because Bob's taking hold of your wrist, and you're falling into the clumsiest run imaginable. Arms awkwardly tangling together. His boots too new to grip the floor. Giggling to yourselves as you slide to the right, fighting to get around the corner before he can be recognized.Â
You're already crashing into each other again. And again. And again. Stealing kisses as if you need one for every few steps taken. Can't function otherwise. Winding through the hall, no regard for where you're going or if it's even the right direction, barging through a door and racing up the stairs. You trip on one. Bob falls on his ass on another.
It's a damn wonder how you find the correct door.Â
At least, you assume it's the right one because your back all but slams into it; don't even hear the noise that rattles down the empty hall. How are you meant to pay attention to such meaningless things, when a soft pressure appears at your lips? Greedily leaning into it as you all but melt into one another, his breath running ragged.
The key. You need the key.Â
It's somewhere on him, your hands blindly smoothing over his chest, searching for the outline of that thin plastic key card. And so what if you momentarily hook your fingers into the top of his shirt? It could have been hiding there, for all you know.
Bob finds it just before you do. Plucking the hunk of plastic from his front pocket, and you can feel the heat of his arm as he reaches past.
Beep.
Gravity tilts on its head. Falling backward.Â
Toned arms loop around your waist. Force you to remain upright. Pulling you close like there's a risk of you blowing away. Stumbling backward. Through the door. You don't know how your arms got around his neck, but you're not making any move to let go. Clinging to him like it's the only thing you know how to do. Nose bumping into his cheek as you find your way to his mouth once more.Â
One fleeting, accidental brush of his teeth against your lip has electricity bolting up your spine. Shades of gold explode in the depths of your frenzied mind. Fireworks. Tongues tangle for the briefest of seconds. But then he's licking at your bottom lip, and it's parting with a gasp, a little too eager to let him in. Twisting together in a fashion entirely unfamiliar to you, an exquisite dance that has you melting like snow on a summer day.
The mattress greets the backs of your knees, a gentle nudge that has you falling backward without ceremony. He's on top of you within a second, forearms bracing his weight on either side of your head, chests pressing together, andâ
"Mmh."Â Â His legs spasm around your thigh, only to push it up into him again, pressing against the growing tent in his slacks. Heavy.Â
"What was that?" In the lightest tone you can conjure up, rubbing your thigh against him once more.Â
His face flushes red. Eyes darting away like he'll catch on fire if he keeps looking at you, but there's no hiding the way he twitches at your touch. And he knows you've felt it because, somehow, his cheeks get even redder.Â
"What, don't like being teased?"Â Â
"I might die if you keep talking."Â
You'd like to see how true that statement can be. But that's an experiment for another night; you can only take your mind off of the throbbing heat resting against your thigh for so long.Â
Fuck, and it seems he's on the same page. Spit-slicked lips find the corner of your jaw, one of his hands smoothing down your side as he works his way beneath your ear. One kiss after the other, only lingering long enough to lightly suck on the skin there. Teeth scrape against you, and you absolutely shouldn't shudder at such a simple feeling, but it happens anyway.
Just like how you wander to his shirt, perhaps a bit too eager to start fumbling with the buttons. They're just as stubborn as you thought they would be, angrily wedging themselves in the gaps designed for them to fit through. Stupid things. Who ever thought these were a good idea?
Bob reaches past you, his wrist bumping your hand awayâ
Buttons scatter. Rolling across the floor. Bouncing across the bed. One strikes your chin. Another thunks against the headboard.
"I didn't know you had it in you," giggling. Only have a handful of seconds to admire the broad expanse of his pale chest before he's on you again. Picking up right where he left off, somewhere beneath your ear, where you're most sensitive.Â
His hum sounds like it's wrapped around the shape of your name, vibrating up your neck, rattling around in your skull like an earthquake. It's a wonder you don't fall apart. Fingertips biting into his shoulders, squeezing them as tightly as you can. And he just keeps kissing on you. Working down, down, down to your collar, only stopped by the fabric of your dress.
You can make it disappear.
He knows you can make it disappear.
And yet his hands slip behind your back, tugging down the tiny zipper that runs parallel to your spine.Â
Takes the time to ease the soft material off your body, impossibly slow, as if he's afraid of ripping it. Past your hips and over your knees. Folds it in half and sets it off to the side. And for a moment, he pauses. Lips shining with the same light that reflects off his glasses, hardly distracting from the sparkle of his eye.Â
Kisses find the inside of your knee. Working across the joint and delving into the delicate territory of your thigh. It's a tune he's played so many times that you already know where he's going and what thoughts are lurking in the back of his quiet mind. Tempting, but...
The dog tags hanging from his neck are too perfect not to grab. Why he's wearing them, you're not sure, but they reel him back in so damn easily.Â
But Bob freezes the moment you're eye to eye with him, not entirely sure how to tread this newfangled path he's found himself on. And that must be what makes it so easy to push him around. Flipping your positions with a skill you forgot you had, your ass snug in his lap, knees straddling his hips.
The back of his head thunks against the headboard, unnamed shades of red rising to tint his cheeks and the tips of his ears.Â
"You're sure?" He croaks; for a split second, you're on the ship again, meeting for the very first time.Â
"Are you sure?" Countering. The bridge of your nose bumps into his.Â
You don't necessarily remember what happens after that.Â
It all melts into a blur. Starts with you bouncing a button off his bare chest and ends with the sound of his pants hitting the floor next to you. You don't know who got the lube out. It must have been him because you still don't know where it even came from, but it's the sensation of his slick fingers pressing into you that catapults you back into reality.Â
"You remember that I'm a succubus, right?" The intended sarcasm doesn't so much as reach your vocal chords, nothing but a breathy whisper of the obvious.Â
A smile is all that he gives in return. "I know."
It's been too long since the last time you felt this. The pressure of thick fingers slipping into your already drooling cunt, knuckles catching on your entrance as they drag past. Coarse fingertips drag against your walls, crooked, running across a bundle of nerves that he has no business knowing about. Knows he's found it too, the corner of his mouth twitching upward at the sound of your whine.Â
Yeah.Â
It's been too long.Â
That's why you're so sensitive all of a sudden.
It's certainly not because of the heavy cock resting against the swell of your ass. Has nothing to do with the pools of blue that lurk in his eye; you reckon you'd drown in them if you were to fall forward. No, you only feel like that because of the never-ending city view that sits just past his head. Broad and expansive, just like...just like his shoulders...
You don't realize what your hand is doing until you overhear his sharp inhale. His body jerks, shocked by the sudden trace of your fingers running up the underside of his cock.Â
Impatience will be the undoing of both of you. In such a sudden hurry that lube spills onto the bed in your rush to slick him up, and it's only after that he realizes he's forgotten about the condom. Doesn't matter. The damn thing flies out of his hand when he tries ripping it open with his teeth, landing somewhere on the floor.
"Again," lifting your hips, lazily smacking his blunt tip against your cunt, "succubus."
"I'm sorry," he's yet to realize you're merely messing with him. Condom, no condom, you don't care either way. "I don't wanna make a mess of you."
"Maybe I want you to make a mess of me," countering. And it's the last thing you can say before the pressure of his cock shuts you up.Â
If you asked, you're certain he would humbly refer to himself as average, but this is...this is so much better than average. Thicker than usual and wonderfully curved, fitting that a man so intent on pleasing you would also have the perfect cock, too. Stretches you just enough to make your jaw go slack, his fat tip dragging against every little nerve it can find.Â
Bob tilts his head back, his chest rising with a heavy inhale, and that may be a whine that you hear. His lashes flutter, visibly fighting to keep them open as you sink down on him. Inch after inch, and it's been so long since you last felt this full.Â
And maybe they've sucked all of the oxygen from the room because neither of you can seem to catch your breath.Â
"That's..." his eyes drop down, fixating on the sight of him disappearing into you, "shit, that's..."
He doesn't get to finish that thought, and you don't get the chance to bother him about it, entirely distracted by the overwhelming sensation of him bottoming out. Your ass flush with his thighs, so damn full of him that your heart has risen into your throat.Â
You've already found the strength to lift your body again. Bracing your hands on his shoulders, using him for leverage as your hips lift, the city lights seeming to twinkle when he rubs into those soft nerves. Can only manage to raise yourself by an inch or two before collapsing down into him once more.Â
The warmth of Bobby's gaze crawls up your naked body, slow, like he's trying to take his time before he meets your eye. And when he does...
"You still in there?" Winding your arms around his neck. Can't seem to get him close enough.
His tongue darts out to wet his swollen lips, dry from panting, "uhuh."Â
You suppose he's telling the truth because he's present enough to remember how to tilt his head up and catch you with a kissâbreathing hard through your noses. His hands squeezing your hips. Holding them through every rise and fall.Â
Lube squelches between your legs. His cock head driving directly into that bundle of nerves again, your pussy helplessly spasming around him. You fear you're going to shatter into a million pieces if he does that again, but there's no attempt to shift your angle. Chasing that sensation again, crying out as a shock bolts up your spine.Â
"Bobby," it slips out so easily. Riding on the coattails of a gasp.Â
Foreheads knock together. So close that the sight of him goes a little bit fuzzy. Noses bumping when his hips twitch up, snapping into yours so swiftly that it knocks a whimper out of you. Just makes him do it again, and you are not living up to the whole succubus thing by collapsing into his shoulder.Â
"Fuck, I canâ" he grunts, punctuated by the lewd slap of skin against skin, "can feel you clenchin' around me."Â
And you can feel him twitch inside of you. Such a simple feeling that has you getting wetter around him, can only imagine what kind of mess is forming between your bodies right now. You'd look, but it's hard enough pulling yourself back, thighs burning, desperate to work back into the rhythm you just...built up...
Is...that...?
"What's wrong?" Bob has stopped moving at...some point. You don't know when that was. The concept of time passing is a little bit irrelevant right now.
Words don't necessarily come to you. Fleeting chunks of vaguely related sentences that you can't quite stitch together. You don't...that's not...when did...?
The only thing you can think of is to touch one of them.Â
His back jerks off the headboard. Sucking in a gasp. Eyes going wide. But then, twitching at the corners, pretty blue irises rolling back, his cock spasming despite your lack of movement. For a moment, not a sound seems to escape him, but then it's all shattered by a barely muffled whimper.Â
"So that's what's wrong with you." Deadpan.Â
Touching them made him cum. That's... somewhat familiar, actually.Â
Bobby's eyes can barely tear themselves open, fighting against them as he blinks up at you. "What?"Â
You're almost hesitant to touch them again. Two tiny horns, no more than an inch tall, poking out from where those pesky bumps once resided.Â
Horns. Of course. Why did you think you were wrong when you considered that earlier? They're identical to yours! A few inches above the ear, wide at the base and growing narrow as it nears the tip. Jet black for the time being, but they'll develop their color with time.Â
The one upside to being a succubus. Uniquely colored horns.Â
"Not to bring up family while all seven and a half inches of you are inside of me," because you're not sure about how to start this conversation, jumping on the first half-baked plan that comes to mind. "But are you entirely sure your folks are human?"
His head tilts. "Why?"Â
The only thing you can think of is to take a picture. Those two tiny horns poking out like they're part of a cute headband, so ridiculously small in person and even smaller on his phone. As you pass it off to him, you catch yourself wondering if he'll see them at all.Â
"...huh." Is all that he can say.Â
They're far too sensitive for him to touch, not after what mess you just caused, but he tries. Winces the moment his fingertips make contact with the fresh new bone; you can only imagine this is how you reacted the first time your horns made their appearance, too.Â
You wonder if there's anything behind them. You've seen a few variations where a second pair sprouted behind the first, but you can't see anything from this angle. If you just lean a little further to the rightâ
A whimper twists through the air. Pretty blue eyes squeeze shut.
"I'm sorry, Iâ"
"No, no, no, don't," his hands are back on your hips, pulling you back down into his lap before you've even moved an inch, and oh, you can feel his cum beginning to spill out of you. Fuck, there's so...there's so much of it. It'll make a mess of the bed if you're not careful, but you can't move. Not with those big hands anchoring you down.Â
But he's not done talking.Â
"Keep going," he blurts, his chest shuddering with a breath. Horns be damned, those aren't on his mind right now. "Please, I just, I want, I want you toâ"Â
A swivel of your hips shuts him up. His teeth sink into his bottom lip, already too late to stifle the pitchy little noise that sails out of his throat. God, that's a hell of a sound. Combined with the way his half-hard cock twitches in you, it's almost too much to bear. He can hardly handle it himself, squirming, not sure if he wants to push into you or away from you.Â
"There!"Â Stardust twinkles behind your eyes. "Right there. Don't move."
It's as if the room has exploded into a galaxy. Midnight black and the deepest shades of navy, decorated in a rainbow of distant, twinkling stars. You and him and this big, oversized hotel bed. Weightless. Floating round and round, further and further away, until you're lost to the Milky Way itself.Â
The fat tip of his cock drives up into those nerves again. Space nearly swallows you up once more. "Bobby..."
Your eyes must have been closed because you don't remember his head tipping back. Dazed, flushed cheeks, so entirely focused on you that the rest of the world ceases to exist at all. Pitchy whimpers, stumbling off his drooling tongue, overstimulated but making no move to push you off of him.
His lips seal. Hardly manages to muffle his noises, but it's already too quiet for your liking.
One of your hands curls around his cheek. Thumb pressing against his bottom lip, hardly takes any pressure for him to give way, allowing you in. And his poor tongue is right there, practically begging you to pin it down, and who are you to deny such a request?
Heat twists in your belly. Pussy clenching tighter around him. Your motions growing jerky. Sporadic. Sparks of color flash behind your eyelids, growing heavier by the second. And it's so fucking loud in this room. Whimpers. Cries. Blending together so seamlessly that you can't tell who makes what noise. Every motion punctuated by an all-too-loud squelch of cum and lube, fuck, this bed is going to be ruined after this.
"I-I'mâ" Bob whines, tongue flexing beneath your thumb. Eyes glassy, one blink away from tears spilling over the brim.Â
"Close." Don't know if you're finishing his sentence or speaking for yourself.Â
It washes over you with all the strength and violence of a tidal wave. Hips stalling. Head falling back. Cumming on his cock with an unexpected cry, heat racing through your veins, skin prickling, breath hung up in your throat. You think your eyes cross. Can't really figure out how true that is, too busy floating through the cracks in the universe to think about anything but the spasm of his length inside of you.Â
And you're vaguely aware that he's cumming, too, his cries vibrating through your thumb and deep into your bones.Â
"Still in there?" You find yourself asking after a moment.Â
Bob hums and you're only now realizing that his glasses are gone, blinking up at you with unfocused eyes. Where they've gone, you don't know; don't think you could get up and look for them if you tried.Â
All of the strength has left your legs. Thighs trembling as you lift yourself from his lap. And they can only hold you up for so long before you find yourself collapsing next to him, greeted by the significantly cooler sheets.Â
Those horns are still there. All too present as he tries to snuggle down onto a pillow, inconveniently brushing against the fabric. You're both a damn mess. His lower belly glistens in the light, and you can already feel his cum beginning to spill out of you onto the sheets.Â
Sheets that you don't want to change for a cleaner set.Â
But the shower is so far away...and Bob is curling his arm around you. Pulling you closer to him as if the six inches of space between your bodies is too much for him to handle. Your nose bumps into his chin, the slightest hint of stubble growing there.
You should hide his razor and see what happens.
"How do I make them disappear?" Bob's voice cracks in the middle, sporadically skyrocketing in pitch. Water might do him good, but...damn, the fridge is by the bathroom.Â
"I'll teach you, eventually," your voice isn't doing much better; you can hardly get it above a whisper. "I wanna see them on you for a little longer first."
His eyes roll, shaking his head all the while. Almost like he expected you to say that. But he doesn't call you out on it, content to tilt his head down and shut you up instead. Swollen lips crashing together, lazily tangling. A small explosion would be less messy, tongues licking into each other's mouths and teeth clacking so hard that your even bones recoil at the sensation.Â
...but there's pressure on your shoulder, and you're rolling onto your back, his comfortable weight settling on top of you. Half hard against your thigh.Â
"Satisfied?" You murmur, though you suppose you already know the answer to that.
His lips curl into a smile. Devilish, even. "No."
You're beginning to think you've swapped roles in this relationship.
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I have never written anything in a long time and English is not my first language, but this idea has been in my head for a long time, so...
Warnings/tags : BAd English, fem!reader, obsessed!Simon Riley, possessive!Simon Riley, I have been waiting for years!Simon Riley, Age gap( more than 10 years-simon is older-Simon acts like age doesn't matter.), smat (Only Simon loses his mind thinking about his wife + the things he want to do with her.), Arranged marriage, fluff, A general explanation of the idea at the beginning of the post. Tell me if I forgot anything!
~
An AU where the government uses tests to choose a partner for you, based on DNA, blood type, etc., to find a good match for superior genes. And these tests continue until your early twenties (not like they're in a lab, it's in real life and the tests are taken at school, like exams) and finally by the age of 22 or 23, the person you should "marry" is determined for you.
And during this time, you shouldn't have a relationship with anyone, and you can't break this pre-arranged marriage in any way.
There are people who, for whatever reason, such as their weak genes, never get a partner chosen for them, and even if someone is suitable, they never send their files for two people to get to know each other.
They are not ridiculed or humiliated, They are just not accepted.
And here we have Simon Riley. A boy who is the victim of his parents' forced marriage. He has a bad situation at school and an even worse situation at home. Since childhood, he has always tried to distract himself from all his problems and try to hold on until he realizes what the future holds for him. Simon, who has never felt like he belongs anywhere or to anyone. Even blood relations have not made him to have a good relationship with his brother, now he understands that there is only one person for him and he is only for one person. In his eyes, she is an angel , not just an angel who is going to save him, but an angel who is going to be by his side forever. As he grow up this childish excitement turns into a obsession.
All the people who work on the projects always encourage him and say that he has very strong genes, a very strong and resilient body, he is patient and careful and has a very high leadership intelligence. They says that he is very cooperative in the tests and does his best.
But it never happens. No one in a fancy suit ring his doorbell to give him the good news. To give him the introduction to the person he's always been waiting for. He never hear "Congratulations, Mr. Riley."
Not even after years.
This was strange, he was always complimented, he was always told that he would find someone great, he always hoped that he could be with someone who would love him.
He visited the centers many times. He tried to follow up and even asked to do all the tests again. Surely he wasn't supposed to be alone, right? There must have been a mistake in the results. His file might have been lost.
They never answered him. He was told to wait, some people wait years to get the files.
He waited.
He was a patient man.
Even now, in the garrison corridors, with multiple scars on the body, and a mask on his face, as he was heading to his room after a hard mission, He was waiting.
He packed up his things to go back to his dark, empty apartment for six months. Six months. Half a year. It seems like a long time. But not long enough.
His teammates don't talk to him about it. like this big, strong man who's amazing at everything failed his tests. The big dog who destroys everything on the battlefield, isn't strong enough to beat the tests, the smart leader who always outsmarts the enemy, not smart enough to pass the tests. it was ok for them.
Not for the others though. For other It's a shame. It's a waste.
Unfortunately, he doesn't care about what others think, otherwise he wouldn't have made it this far.
When he gets home, he takes a quick shower and comes out, hungry but tired, so he puts on his pants and lies down on his bed. Just as his eyes are getting ready to fall asleep, the doorbell rings.
It used to be joyful, but now it's just annoying.
He grumbled, open the door.
Tight suits were never his thing, they made him look too big. Too scary for others. But not on this guy.
"Mr. Riley, right?"
He raised an eyebrow, "That's me."
"Well, congratulations! According to the research our team has done, after a long review of the files, we were able to find the best match for you!"
With a cheerful face and a smile from ear to ear, he looked at him and held out the file towards him.
But Simon's reaction was unlike anyone else. There was no joy on his face, no indifference to the news. It was anger. and it wasn't the anger that some people showed because of being caught up in this system, it wasn't the anger that came from stubbornness.
It was pure rage. It felt like he was about to tear out his throat.
He just wanted to deliver the news and at least get a smile in return. He would have been much happier if he had seen tears of joy. Usually he would have stopped so that the others could tell him how happy they were and how much they had been waiting for this moment.
But not now. He just wanted to run for his life.
Maybe he's not having a good day? Maybe he woke him up? Maybe he's a man who goes to bed very early and it's late at night?
"Um, I know it's a little late..."
"A little late?" His fist lost control. Simon could break everyone's jaws as much as he wanted at work, but not now, Not here, not his. he just brought the man closer to his face, "A little late?"
His voice trembled with anger. If no one saw this man, they would think he was scared from the way he sounded. "Do you know how fucking long you've kept me waiting for this?"
His face sank, whether from pain or confusion, it didn't matter. He released his jaw and stared at him with his sharp gaze. After a few seconds, he glanced at the files and the man unconsciously handed them to him. "Thank you." There was no sense of gratitude in his voice.
Without waiting for an answer, he turned and closed the door. He threw the files on the counter as he walked to his room. He couldn't believe it, and most of all, he didn't have the courage to face this. The last time he had followed up, five years ago, they had told him it was too late, that after all these years the files would be reorganized and the old ones would be moved, he wondered, did they throw away the old information? When he asked, they looked at him like he was stupid. "I don't know if they'll get rid of it completely, but it's no longer used."
Even after that, he waited, but he lost hope. He knew it would never come. He convinced himself it would never come.
Simon Riley couldn't sleep that night, and he couldn't sleep the nights after that. Even looking through the files didn't help him sleep. When he finally got to them, after much struggling, he came across a photo of the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He let out a breath he had been holding and stared at the image. After a few minutes, he looked down at her information. Name... her last name... age... age?
OH, she was so young. Much younger than him. Much, much younger for him.
A beautiful young woman, with a bright future and a great position, and here's an old dog like him. he's not an old dog, he's old for her, very old. he's just a dog, you know, a dog that can tear everything to pieces. In the battlefield, not in normal life. In the battlefield, he's a good leader. he is a good dog.
he can be a good dog for her.
he pushes away anyone who comes near her, protects her when she's scared, in return he gets lots of kisses and hugs, lots of attention and sweet words, he wags his tail, shows his belly to her to rub it. damn it, she can rub anything she wants, touch anything she wants .Anywhere he hasn't let anyone even see.
Anything she wants.
Yeah, he's panting like a dog when he sees her picture, it's clear that he'll let her do whatever she wants with him.
The more he looks at her beautiful face, the more his guilt about her being younger than him fades.
Just because they have more than a ten-year age gap doesn't mean he can't be a good man for her.
He wants to be a good man for her. He promises to take a bath with her after a hard day, massage her whole body to relieve her Tension, and when When he dried her, he'll gently place her on the edge of the bed and massage her beautiful legs. If she lets him, he'll kiss them.
from top to bottom, from bottom to top. He will LICK her clean.
She can crush his face, under her feet... or between her thighs. She'll press them so hard that he feels like his skull is breaking, she'll sit on his face so long that he can't breathe, so long that his chest hurts.
She's not going to cry because of some people are asshole's at work, he's giving her something to cry about. From joy, happiness, and a good feeling.
He wants to wake up with her in the morning, the first thing he sees is her beautiful face. He wants to wake up a few hours earlier so he can stare at her in her sleep.
He wants to wake her up with his kisses.
He wants to wake up with her kisses.
He wants to kiss her everywhere, he wants to do a lot of things for her and she kisses him in return, he wants to do nothing and she kisses him, he wants to kiss her for no reason, kiss her because he loves her.
he wants to cook for her. His cooking is terrible but he tries his best, he makes her heart-shaped cupcakes, even if she doesn't like it because of the taste, she still smiles at him and says sweet things . She can Teach him how to cook, so she doesn't have to do that anymore. Just sit there and look pretty for him. What if she can't cook? It's okay, we'll learn together. What if she hates cooking? I said it's okay, just sit and watch how your husband cooks for you.
Husband, please call him husband, it sounds so sweet when it comes out of her mouth. He wants to be called husband everywhere. Especially when she goes out. Everyone should know that a beautiful angel like her has a wild dog like him. You shouldn't go near her, he's only friendly with his owner. He even gives her a collar, you can take him wherever you want.
And instead, he wants to call you his wife. Everyone needs to know that he belongs to someone. Someone is waiting for this scary beast at home, not just anyone, an angel, a real angel.
He wants to say that my wife won't let me, my wife doesn't like it, my wife said no, my wife is waiting for me at home, my wife bought it for me, my wife chose iy, my wife loves it very much, my wife must agree. Everyone knows him by your name. You own him.
At the end of the day,That man is hers. At the end of the night That woman is his. He wants to go to sleep with her, wrap his arms around her and bury her head in his chest. Maybe she let him sleep between her beautiful tits. Does that mean she'll let him kiss them? Oh, he's hopeful, so hopeful.
He lowers his kisses, kisses her belly and goes lower and lower. FUCK, does she wear nice panties for him? The ones with the bras? If he didn't, it wouldn't be a problem, everything on her body is beautiful. Does she let him take them off? He asks permission for everything, I told you, he was a good dog. Did I say he licks her? Oh, he licks her, like it's the last ice cream on earth on the hottest day of the year. He moans, he knows she likes it, her pussy gets wetter when she hears his pleasure, her grip on his hair tightens...
When she comes, he rests his head on her thighs, looks at her as her breathing becomes stable, waits for her to look at him, pats his head and tells him well done. Damn it, she won't regret it, he promises.
He always asks her how she wants it this time. "Whatever you like, angel." Is she tired of the same place? Does she need a little variety? Baby, he, bends her over every surface.
He'll go on for several rounds, but he'll get tired, old dog, remember? If she still feel like it, how about she put her beautiful thighs on him and ride him? Oh, I'm sure he'll enjoy the jiggling of her tits.
tired? It's okay, Princess, he presses his feet into the mattress and do all the work.
After they're both satisfied. If she feels like it, theu can go Take a bath together, right? If she's really tired, she can sleep and he'll clean her up without disturbing her sleep, and then join her in bed.
He is very happy, he waited so long to see her and put the ring on her finger. He will have a big wedding party for her, with lots of guests. But he has to wait, he doesn't know what she likes yet, he shouldn't rush.
There is time, there is a lot of time. It took a long time, but it was worth it.
His little angel will soon be by his side.
---------------------
I genuinely think This Simon Riley taking his angel like an animal for the first time.đ¤
Simon, who is completely defenseless against his wife, I love him.
As I said, English is not my first language. And in my language the pronouns (he, she, it and... all of them ) are the same, so forgive me if I made a mistake.đŤ
I know bad writing takes away the joy of reading, but please forgive me.đĽ˛đđź
If anyone writes something with this idea, please tag me! I would love to read this idea written by someone whose English is better than me!đ
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#cod ghost#ghost x reader#ghost cod#simon ghost smut#simon ghost fluff#simon ghost riley x reader
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TheShatteredQueen posted in /r/AmITheAsshole:
AITA for doing whatever I can to save my people from genocide?
So obviously that title needs a bit of clarification. I (21f) am leader of a very small and tight knit minority group that's being persecuted by a very rich and very powerful man (3200m) and his family. For anonymity's sake we'll call him "Thunderbeard." He wants us all exterminated and our souls sent straight to eternal punishment, just because he has beef with our parents, my father (10000m) in particular. My father is also his father, but that doesn't really matter to him so we'll leave that aside.
We don't want anything to do with our parents; they made us solely to use as expendable soldiers, and we want more out of life. I literally diced one of them (7400m) and threw the pieces into super hell so we could avoid that. Unfortunately we only got a couple days of peace before Thunderbeard learned about us and had a bunch of his "employees" start hunting us. This was about five years ago.
I've lost good people. I can't imagine how they must be suffering right now, for no good reason. We'll all join them if we don't do something. I have a long term plan, but to enact it I need to buy us time.
Here's where things get complicated. Thunderbeard and his co-tyrants have kids similar to us, and a lot of them. Some are much younger than us, a few are much older, but they definitely outnumber us by a sizeable margin. Whenever Thunderbeard and Co need a job done, they typically send a few of the kids out to do it, more depending on how big the job is. The only reason they haven't been sent against us yet is because Thunderbeard thinks there's not enough of us to warrant it. My worry is that once he realizes he's wrong, he'll "rally the troops," as it were, and we'll be overwhelmed.
So I looked for ways to mitigate that, and happened on one that's a bit morally contentious. See, their kids are split into two groups (the criteria for which is a bit hard to follow and not really relevant atm) that have fought each other in the past. My thought was, if they fight again, maybe they'll weaken each other enough that we stand a chance against them. We've been laying the groundwork for that for a few years now, and earlier this week we kicked things firmly into motion. Barring any unforeseen mishaps, it could be the saving grace we've been praying for.
Now clearly that's not a good thing to do, I'm fully aware of that. It's already putting strain on my personal relationships. I just learned that I have a half-sister (19f) who I'd love to get to know, but she thinks I'm a "warmonger" and won't hear me out at all. It's all I can do some nights to fall asleep while the guilt eats away me.
But what else should we do? My people are counting on me to save them. We're damned even if we do nothing, so isn't the moral thing to fight however we can, even if it's sneaky and underhanded?
AITA?
StrengthAndEndurance: NTA. It's your job to think about what's best for the people under you, not anyone else. Keep your head high, don't let the guilt get to you.
FerrumMemoria: NTA. The oppressed have never gained anything by playing fair with their oppressors. In any liberation movement, bloodshed is inevitable. The ruler who does not recognize this is not fit to rule. Carry on as you have, and worry not about the judgement of history until you've survived to write it.
StargazerButch7: NTA. I understand feeling guilty, but there's no easy way out of this mess. We all appreciate the hard choices you have to make for our sakes. Keep the faith!
WaterloggedRedhead: NTA! Thunderbeard is the real asshole! Keep up the good work, we're all behind you!
Write an r/AmITheAsshole post told from your OCâs perspective. (Bonus: include replies from your other OCs.)
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alright i started trying to write my s2 thoughts and just this one element already got long as hell and it's maybe my hottest take and most #unpopular opinion based on skimming other reactions so. whatever. i'm quarantining it to its own post god help me.
but
Speaking as someone who loved him the most in s1, to be honest I don't think Viktor's story in s2 was particularly good. I feel like they got into the season, realized they were supposed to vaguely tie into League lore, sort of haphazardly gave him some word salad speeches about evolution and emotion, and called it a day. I thought his cult motivations, the influence (or not) of the hexcore, etc were all pretty underwritten.
But in particular I'm bothered by the speech Jayce gives about Viktor "wanting to cure what [he] thought were weaknesses" and the suggestion that Viktor was doing evil blood magic because he was insecure about his disabilities and felt lesser-than because of them. This is just straight up not true in season 1. He does blood magic in 1.2-1.3 because he is DYING. It's like everyone in the show and the fandom forgot he was terminally ill. Conflating the general feel-good "love your body as it is" messaging around disability with *terminal illness* is just ... What.... in the world...?
In season one we saw *other people* treat him as lesser bc he was disabled, while Viktor's introductory speech is "nobody ever believed in [...] a poor cripple from the undercity, [but] I believed in myself". No one in s2 ever acknowledging that he took risks with the hexcore because he didn't want to die at, like, age 30 OR that by the end of s1 he had done the "morally correct" thing of accepting his mortality only for Jayce (and later Singed lol) to ignore that and plug the hexcore into him against his will... Jayce doesn't even own up to that or apologize for his role in things lmao I mean, #classic Jayce, but what is happening here.
If they wanted Viktor to be the average Spiderman villain messing around with science to cure his disabilities and unleashing eldritch horrors in the process, they could've written that in season 1 very easily. And of course it's great that Jayce loves him as he is -- to be honest season 1 never gave me any reason to think otherwise, but it's nice for Viktor to hear it, sure. But they specifically made him terminally ill only to act like that never happened, or like terminal illness is an "imperfection" you can defeat with body positivity and self-love. It's so tonally weird. I've seen a lot of people who were very moved by Jayce's speech about loving him anyway, and I'm happy people found meaning in it, but I was jaw dropped. Viktor was never "broken", yes, but he was fucking dying, and there is a difference.
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Saw a post about Mushang and it's similarities to Liushen, then thought about how interesting it would be to have those in the same fic â then I went down a rabbit hole that included Mobing and Gongzhi (for some reason?)
so... here's this plotbunny, it's really fucking long though, sorry!
(oops, it posted before I finished, sorry about that, it's fixed now!)
-
Shang Qinghua knew, theoretically, that his death would be at the hands of Mobei-jun. He knew that when he saved him, he knew that all these years of serving him, but... it's finally sunk in. That Mobei-jun is going to kill him. That the bruises and frostbite and broken bones are all leading up to his death. He wraps another cut and thinks, somewhat deliriously... that maybe he should've killed Mobei-jun on that mission.
Shen Qingqiu knew his fate â the fate of the Scum Villain. He knew that any goodwill he'd built up was destroyed the moment he pushed Luo Binghe into the Abyss. Knows that all those years of treating him well, only to betray him, may have actually made the situation worse. He thinks back on that day, suddenly realizing that he probably could've made it look like an accident â he could've had Binghe "accidentally" pushed into the Abyss during the chaos, could've faked a Without-A-Cure flare up to excuse his lack of rescue. Maybe, if he'd done that, Binghe would've had mercy.
Their weekly meetings become stilted, their tea goes cold, their snacks uneaten. They don't argue about Airplane's terrible writing, they don't even reminisce over AC or the internet. The air is filled with unease, polluting each of their peaks... until they both snap. They confide in each other, cursing the System, cursing their choices, and try to plan â to dig themselves out of these holes they've dug. The clock is ticking for Binghe's return. Shang Qinghua's wounds are getting worse â he doesn't know if his death will be expedited or delayed at this rate.
And so, they argue and plan and eventually come to a few conclusions...
Shang Qinghua needs the protection of the sect. Needs to confess and beg for Yue Qingyuan's protection as he abandons Mobei-jun. Needs the protection of someone Mobei-jun had no chance of defeating.
Shen Qingqiu, likewise, needs protection â but it's written that Luo Binghe cannot lose, not to anyone in the sect... no one, except for Liu Qingge, who didn't live long enough to fight him, who didn't have a single canonical fight for the world to measure him against. The War God. The one person that wasn't bound by the narrative.
They decide to deal with Shang Qinghua first â Binghe isn't scheduled to leave the Abyss for years, after all. Mobei-jun, however, is a current threat. Every meeting leaves Shang Qinghua with more and more injuries, injuries that the original goods never had to deal with. They don't know if this Mobei-jun is going to follow PIDW's timeline. They don't know how long it'll take before he beats Shang Qinghua to a bloody pulp. After some arguing, it's agreed to come clean to Mu Qingfang first â to test the waters. He's been treating all of Shang Qinghua's wounds since they were disciples, and he'd be good back up if Yue Qingyuan didn't immediately cave to Shen Qingqiu's demands. Of course, Shang Qinghua wouldn't tell the complete truth â no one needed to know that Shang Qinghua spared Mobei-jun because he was hot â but he wouldn't alter the story too much. Better to keep to small lies, easy to keep consistent.
If it goes poorly... they'll just run. They'll abandon the friends and family they've found here, and they'll use whatever plot devices they can find to disguise themselves. The only reason it's not Plan A is because Mobei-jun knows Shang Qinghua's qi signature, and the only artifacts they know that can change qi signatures are... annoying to acquire and dangerous to use.
-
Mu Qingfang isn't surprised when Shang-shixiong shows up with various injuries, absolutely covered in demonic qi. It's routine at this point to sit him down, perform a check up, and ask questions he knows won't be answered. So he does. He heals the cuts and bruises, sets and heals the bones, and does his best to calm the eternally-stressed qi lest his shixiong have a deviation. He asks how this happened, expecting the usual evasive answer (hating that his shixiong is being abused while he does nothing but fix the aftermath), and...
and Shang Qinghua answers.
His shixiong, after yearsâ decades of asking, stutters out an explanation. That he's been a spy for Mobei-jun since that mission where he was the only survivor. That he did it because he was scared, that by the time he was powerful enough to do anything about it, Mobei-jun was a king, and it would probably start a war if he killed him. He says Mobei-jun's been hurting him more often, that he's terrified he's going to die, and Mu Qingfang carefully soothes his shixiong's qi as tears start to fall and he stutters out his plan to team up with Shen-shixiong to tell Zhangmen-shixiong, to beg for forgiveness â for protection, even if it means sitting in a prison cell. He just doesn't want to die.
And in the face of his sobbing shixiong, constantly over-worked and terrified, Mu Qingfang promises to help. Because what else can he do? Turn his back on the shixiong he's been watching slowly fall apart over the decades? The shixiong he's watched go from introverted to downright anxious â the shixiong he's had to pick up and put back together with increasing frequency. Even if he hadn't come clean, Mu Qingfang would've had to have done something soon, with the way the injuries were increasing in severity. He's just glad Shang-shixiong told him first, so they could approach the sect leader together. It wouldn't have been good for his shixiong's stress levels if he'd demanded the sect leader interrogate him to figure out what was going on.
So, the two meet up with Shen Qingqiu and demand a meeting with Yue Qingyuan, who, as always, immediately makes time for Shen-shixiong. Shang Qinghua stutters through his story again, Mu Qingfang regulating his qi, and Shen Qingqiu bringing out a particular icy glare whenever Yue Qingyuan looks like he's going to interrupt. Zhangmen-shixiong's face is carefully blank by the time Shang Qinghua finishes speaking, at which point, Mu Qingfang decides to speak up.
He tells Zhangmen-shixiong of the countless injuries over the decades, of his certainty of their demonic origin, even during that first meeting. He tells the sect leader that if Shang Qinghua is going to be punished for protecting himself, for preventing a war, then he'll need to punish Mu Qingfang too. As a head disciple, he should've reported any suspicious injuries to his shizun, as a Peak Lord, he should've immediately informed Zhangmen-shixiong of Shang Qinghua's continuous injuries and of their suspiciously demonic origin. He says that he has even less of an excuse than Shang Qinghua, who was genuinely afraid for his life and the well-being of his sect. Mu Qingfang simply didn't want to make the situation worse for him, ignoring all rules and expectations that would've had the situation cleared up sooner.
Shen Qingqiu, clearly approving of Mu Qingfang's ardent defense, decides to continue, stating that the sect hasn't experienced an increase in failed missions or other sabotage. He explains that, clearly, Shang Qinghua had been doing his best to protect the sect, even under such strenuous circumstances. He sees no reason to be harsh towards someone who'd been a child when it started, and who was so thoroughly terrified that he only approached Shen Qingqiu, as a friend, because he could see he'd end up dead sooner or later due to the beatings.
Yue Qingyuan lets them all say their piece, and sighs. He sees Shang Qinghua's terror, and he understands both Mu Qingfang and Shen Qingqiu's arguments. He says that this was a breach of trust, that ordinarily this would call for execution, but... Shang Qinghua has not caused harm to the sect, and had he continued, the only harm would've been to himself. As long as Mu Qingfang and Shen Qingqiu are willing to bear the consequences, Yue Qingyuan will allow this to be swept under the rug, never spoken of again.
Mu Qingfang and Shen Qingqiu are quick to agree, and Shang Qinghua's punishment is to update the sect's defense arrays... left unsaid was the expectation that Mobei-jun never be able to enter the sect again. And so, the matter is dealt with, and Shang-shixiong looks like he's had the weight of the world lifted off him once the arrays are complete.
So long as he doesn't leave the sect without a qi-cloaking artifact (courtesy of the Artifact Peak), he'll be safe. Mu Qingfang feels... thrilled, to know his shixiong won't have to suffer anymore.
-
Liu Qingge notices Shen Qingqiu's nerves as he cleanses his meridians. It's an unexpected change of pace, given the dour mood the man's been in for... months, at this point. The session finishes in silence, but there's an air of anticipation that has Liu Qingge... loitering, just a bit.
Eventually, Shen Qingqiu lets out a sigh, pours him tea, and starts to talk â quietly, as if ashamed of his words. He shares that, during the chaos at the end of the Immortal Alliance Concerence, his prized disciple broke a seal. It had been placed on him at birth, presumably by one of his parents, and revealed him to be a heavenly demon. He explains that he panicked at the sight of the seal, understanding what it meant, but his disciple looked just as shocked as him. He understood that his disciple was a demon, that he clearly didn't know that fact, and given the presence of multiple sects and the ongoing catastrophe... his disciple would die, if anyone else stumbled upon him.
Liu Qingge listens, as Shen Qingqiu shares that he pushed his own disciple into the Endless Abyss. His grief makes more sense now, Liu Qingge thinks. It's not just the grief of a teacher losing their favorite student, it's also the guilt of pushing that student into danger, even if it's to protect them. Even he would've hesitated to cut down the disciple, if he'd formed such a bond and the child clearly had no idea what was going on.
They continue sitting in silence, and Liu Qingge is almost ready to leave, before Shen Qingqiu speaks up again. He explains that Luo Binghe was a heavenly demon, and the last one â presumably his father â required the collaboration of multiple sects to seal away. There's a chance that Luo Binghe will survive the Abyss, and escape it.
There's a muted fear in Shen Qingqiu's eyes, as he states there's a chance Luo Binghe will hunt him down. That, given a demon's propensity for overreactions, he may take the entire sect with him. It wasn't like he explained his reasoning, when he pushed the child into the Abyss. All he'd know is that his caring shizun saw he was a demon and immediately pushed him into hell.
And Liu Qingge can understand that fear. Heavenly Demons were strong, too strong for even him to be confident in facing them alone. Even if this one was a child, if it managed to escape the Abyss... it would be too strong for Shen Qingqiu to survive. There's an obvious solution then: train until Shen Qingqiu is strong enough to at least run away.
He says that they'll go on hunts together, so Shen Qingqiu can fight those beasts he knows so much about, to get in practice as they look for any artifact that might help him. He says they'll spar, and he'll even let him face the Bai Zhan disciples for variety. Shen Qingqiu is... reluctant, but quickly realizes that it's probably his best option. With the condition that they return to the sect at least once a month to check on his disciples, he agrees to Liu Qingge's proposal.
They'll both train, and Liu Qingge won't let him out of sight for even a moment â not with a heavenly demon after his head.
-
The months afterwards are... peaceful.
An Ding grows used to the sight of Mu Qingfang, who arrives just before dawn every morning to share breakfast with Shang Qinghua before they must start work. They do each other's hair and gossip, sharing whatever happened the day before as they get ready. Without the constant fear, and with Mu Qingfang's help taming his curls (as the only other one in the sect with curly hair), the sect slowly comes to realize that Shang Qinghua is a total knockout, actually, it was just hidden behind frizzy hair, eyebags, and his constant terrified hunching.
There are still bad days, of course, where Mu Qingfang has to insist he delegate his work to his head disciple, or where Shang Qinghua ends up on Qian Cao in the middle of the night having a panic attack, but... they're growing rarer as time passes. Qian Cao learns to turn their heads when Shang Qinghua arrives with an early shipment or unexpected, expensive goods. They learn to mind their business when they see him comfort their Shizun after a particularly challenging day.
It doesn't really surprise anyone when they start courting. The only surprise is that Shang Qinghua is the one that started it, but even that is less shocking now than it would've been the year before. An Ding is happy that their shifu finally looks safe and healthy (he actually stops working at a reasonable hour now, even if it is still after sunset), and Qian Cao is glad their shizun has someone of his own to vent to (given the stress of his job and the various struggles that come with it).
As for Qing Jing, they're absolutely thrilled that their shizun isn't moping anymore. The loss of Binghe hit them hard too, but seeing Shen Qingqiu make the effort to go on hunts made it easier for them to move on too. They miss him, when he's gone, but he always returns with treats from various villages, and a week's worth of stories and lessons to impart. He's even compiled his own bestiary! Ning Yingying has taken to giving Liu Qingge sweets as a thank you for helping her shizun, and Ming Fan grows more comfortable in his old role as head disciple, with how his shizun actually sees him and compliments him, rather than missing Binghe. The Bamboo House is still... a very hard place to be. Without Shizun, it's empty, and even with his recovery, the vacant room seems to bring back his grief.
Seeing this, Qing Jing is both relieved and absolutely pissed when Liu Qingge offers up his spare room instead. Shen Qingqiu accepts, and it's become common for him to join the Bai Zhan disciples in their morning exercises before returning to teach on Qing Jing. They are, understandably, absolutely pumped to have another Peak Lord around to fight (on top of their own being around more often! Shifu teaches them more! And is he getting better at it? What miracles!)
They settle into a routine, and, though it takes an unexpectedly long time, they announce their courting to Yue Qingyuan, who looks both heartbroken and extremely happy for them. Qing Jing gives Liu Qingge a surprisingly scary shovel talk (though he's mostly amused, he respects their dedication), but are overall very happy that their shizun is happy. Bai Zhan is just cheering that another Peak Lord has basically taken up permanent residence, since Shen Qingqiu stays in Liu Qingge's house rather than the bamboo house. They enjoy the unique challenge he gives, and some of the braver ones tell their shifu that he better treat him right or they'll try to take him for themselves (he went particularly hard on them after that, but they had zero regrets â Shen-shibo is a catch after all!)
Meanwhile, Mobei-jun is... frustrated and heartbroken. He can no longer enter Cang Qiong Sect, and he can no longer find Shang Qinghua's qi signature. He doesn't know why â was Shang Qinghua caught? Is he dead? Why else would he just... randomly leave? He's stuck with Mobei-jun for decades, why would he leave now? What was the catalyst? Was he truly so uncomfortable with Mobei-jun's courting? Why wouldn't he just say so!?
The questions leave him angry and frustrated, with no way to get answers. It's only after he enters Luo Binghe's service (an embarrassing loss â would he have done better with Qinghua's advice?) that he finally gets... something of an answer. A potential explanation.
Luo Binghe has no friends in the demon realm, trusts absolutely no one, but he's still a kind person. When he sees that Mobei-jun is frustrated, all it takes is that curly haired boy (a face so similar to Qinghua's) for all the questions to come spilling out. Whether it takes hours or minutes, Mobei-jun doesn't know, all he remembers is the lesson from that conversation:
Humans court differently. Constant physical bombardment is known as abuse.
And Mobei-jun is sick.
He hurt Qinghua. He drove away the one man that stuck with him through everything, just because he couldn't be bothered to double check that his courting would be understood. According to Luo Binghe... it was a miracle Shang Qinghua hadn't left sooner. And the worst part? Mobei-jun can't right this wrong. He can't explain himself. Because Cang Qiong has new wards, and Shang Qinghua has figured out how to make himself thoroughly disappear, even though Mobei-jun does receive word when the Peak Lord is spotted during a trade deal. He can't get Qinghua back. There's nothing he can do.
So he stays by Luo Binghe's side. His curly hair, his similar face... these days, Mobei-jun curses himself for not digging into Shang Qinghua's history. For this boy is an orphan, a street rat, and now it would be near impossible to find out his true relation to Shang Qinghua, given that no one knew which humans Tianlang-jun had bed. It doesn't truly matter, whether he is a cousin, brother, or nephew, Mobei-jun will right his wrongs through Shang Qinghua's kin, unable to reach the man himself.
-
When Luo Binghe leaves the Demon Realm, he goes to Huan Hua, and things progress pretty much as they did in canon, with Shen Qingqiu running, absolutely fucking terrified, being force fed blood, and agreeing to be held in the Water Prison to avoid blowback on the sect. Only difference is that Liu Qingge tried to kill LBH, which almost caused an incident with Huan Hua, because no one believed he was a demon. In the water prison, Luo Binghe sees... a ring. He knows his shizun never wore that before, so he asks about it. Not wanting to put Liu Qingge in even more danger, Shen Qingqiu stays silent.
Gongyi Xiao helps Shen Qingqiu escape, and things continue to progress. When Liu Qingge squares up to fight Luo Binghe, he notices him wearing a ring, threaded onto a necklace, and so similar to Shen Qingqiu's. It doesn't take him long to process the fact that his beloved shizun is... already taken.
By Liu fucking Qingge.
He's thoroughly pissed off, he goes to attack, but pauses when he sees his shizun grip Liu-shishu tightly, shaking like a leaf. He looks like he's preparing to take his husband and run. The thought is... off-putting. Because Liu Qingge is the War God of Bai Zhan Peak. Why doesn't Shizun have faith in the man he married?
So he asks.
And Shen Qingqiu doesn't answer.
Liu Qingge still hasn't relaxed, ready to attack at any moment, and Luo Binghe is running out of patience.
"If Shizun finds this demon despicable enough to throw into the Abyss, he should let his husband kill it."
"That's not why he did it."
Liu Qingge's words throw him off balance. He expected the man to be shocked, hearing that his loving husband had done such a thing (maybe cause a rift in their relationship), he expected, maybe, to be attacked for being so disrespectful.
Liu Qingge then explains, because Shen Qingqiu is terrified into silence.
And Luo Binghe is crushed. Shizun threw him into the Abyss... to save him? Shizun was scared for his safety?
And suddenly Luo Binghe feels sick, when he remembers what he's done. How he hurt Shizun, who was too scared to answer. Who just wanted to protect him, only to realize later that he wasn't thinking straight â that his words were twisted in his effort to get Luo Binghe into the safest place possible in that moment: the Endless Abyss. The shizun that believed in his capabilities enough to be afraid that he'd come seeking revenge.
The fight drains out of him, Liu Qingge doesn't relax, but Shen Qingqiu behind him looks just the slightest bit more curious than terrified. Luo Binghe pulls out a note, written from Mobei-jun to Shang Qinghua, and drops it onto the roof. "This disciple apologizes to Shizun. Please ensure this message gets to Shang-shishu." He uses Xin Mo to teleport to a different roof, staying just long enough to see Liu Qingge hand the note to Shen Qingqiu, who collapsed bonelessly into his side.
He goes to the Northern Desert, rather than the Southern Kingdom. He arrives in the sitting area of Mobei-jun's quarters, and plops himself into a seat. He thinks, and thinks, and he's feeling absolutely awful by the time Mobei-jun arrives. He takes one look at Luo Binghe's disheveled state, and takes the seat next to him.
They talk.
Mobei-jun is a surprisingly comforting presence. He'd always listened and offered advice, but Luo Binghe didn't think he'd have the patience for talking him through... whatever the hell this is. Heartbreak? He isn't sure.
It helps though, and Luo Binghe feels much lighter. Mobei-jun had already promised to never darken Cang Qiong's doorstep, to never go anywhere near Shang Qinghua again, after what he'd done... Luo Binghe would just have to do the same. Even if all he wanted was to go back to Qing Jing, to his room in the Bamboo House... but Shizun is married now, there's no way he'd allow Luo Binghe to stay there permanently.
So he just... stays in the Demon Realm. He's an emperor now, surely Shizun wouldn't want him neglecting that duty? And even if he would've liked Shizun's advice... Mobei-jun would have to do. He had experience, and he's been nothing but helpful. Decision made, Luo Binghe embraces his status as the Demon Emperor, and gives it his full attention.
Without him, Shen Qingqiu's trial falls apart, even as the Palace Master accuses Liu Qingge of killing Luo Binghe. There's not enough concrete evidence for Shen Qingqiu's crimes, and the character defenses from the sect and his husband all speak louder than Qiu Haitang's slander. Even if Liu Qingge was in extremely hot water with Huan Hua, they couldn't prove he'd done anything either.
Shen Qingqiu delivers Mobei-jun's note to Mu Qingfang, asking him to be there when Shang Qinghua read it, because who knew what was in it. He agrees, and they read it as soon as possible, to get it over with.
It's an apology, with an explanation of their different cultures and a promise to never bother him again. It's a promise to right his wrongs through Luo Binghe, who he assumes to be related to Shang Qinghua through the boy's mother. It's short and blunt, and Shang Qinghua is... conflicted. He loves Mu Qingfang, and honestly, couldn't even dream of a life without him, but... Mobei-jun was his dream man. Thinking like that... perhaps it was for the best that they didn't end up together. The reality could never live up to the expectation.
More importantly, is him remembering his half-sister in this life: Xi-jie. Who had suddenly cut contact with him completely, and who he'd never managed to track down afterwards, not having known her full name. Shang Qinghua is crushed, to realize the protagonist was that close to being given a better life. Had Su Xiyan managed to contact him at any point, he would've taken her son in in a heartbeat. Mu Qingfang consoles him, and they decide, jointly, that it was for the best if he didn't pursue that relationship. Not with Mobei-jun promising to stick by the boy, and not with the way he'd treated Shen Qingqiu.
And everyone just... moves on with their lives.
Mu Qingfang and Shang Qinghua are happy together; they have three kids that get absolutely spoiled by their disciples, and they take care of each other, ensuring neither overworks too severely. Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu, without the threat of Binghe's return hanging over them, relax more. They enjoy peaceful days with the Qing Jing disciples, they have fun jointly beating up the Bai Zhan disciples and teaching them new moves, and their hunts aren't nearly as battle-focused as they were before, giving Shen Qingqiu a chance to study the beasts rather than immediately going to fight them.
Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun are rarely apart and treat each other as equals in all things. They value the other's advice when implementing policies, and they will each jump to the other's defense, whether it be physically or through words. It surprises absolutely no one when their affair is found out â at first a convenient way to control Xin Mo, eventually morphing into a proper relationship. They're the rulers of the demon realm, they need not abide by the rules, but... Luo Binghe enjoys planning the wedding, and Mobei-jun can't deny him that, even if it meant dealing with the paperwork of technically merging the two kingdoms but also not. Their broken hearts have long been mended by each other, and it's no surprise when they have six children, close-knit and loving, like the family they wished they'd had sooner.
-
Tianlang-jun rotted away, despite Zhuzhi-lang's best efforts. His last act was to give Zhuzhi-lang enough energy to sustain his human form indefinitely. He is purposeless, and alone, and he sits beside his uncle's corpse for far longer than he should have. There's nothing left for him, not with his uncle gone.
So he exits the cave, and he sits under a tree, out in the open. He is very clearly a demon within Huan Hua territory, so it wouldn't take long for a cultivator to stumble upon him and put him out of his misery. Sure enough, in the middle of his patrol, Gongyi Xiao sees a snake demon just... sitting there. He doesn't look hostile, nor does he look like he's going to move.
He also just... looks kinda pathetic.
So, Gongyi Xiao makes a decision. He can't, in good conscience, leave it there. If he does, and it attacks someone, that's his fault. He also can't just kill it if it's not even doing anything. So he decides to... initiate conversation.
It takes a while for Zhuzhi-lang to bother properly responding, but once he does, they get along quite well. He shares stories about his and his uncle's journies through the human realm, reminiscing as he starts to process his grief. Gongyi Xiao decides, maybe this demon isn't that bad actually, and before they know it, it's sun down and Gongyi Xiao is very late.
They meet daily, with Gongyi Xiao taking on more patrols than usual to make sure his demon is doing alright. Eventually, though, pieces of Zhuzhi-lang's story start to... click. They conflict with things he's been told by his shizun. Maybe Zhuzhi-lang is misremembering in his grief, but... he's concerned enough to start investigating on his own.
He finds a lot of dirt on the Old Palace Master, most of it completely unrelated to Su Xiyan, which is what he was actually trying to investigate. Eventually, he grows so disgusted with the sheer amount of crimes the old man has committed that he decides to just... start a coup. He's well-liked, so it's easy enough to get people on his side â it's even easier when he starts spreading rumors and has all of the man's misdeeds printed into a fairly popular book (more than a few publishing houses were burned down because of it, oops). He didn't... intend to replace the old man, but that's what happened and, hey, now he can bring his demon home and no one can fight him over it, yes sect leaders, he's perfectly sane, thank you.
Zhuzhi-lang learns that he's just as attracted to competence and beauty as Tianlang-jun, he just prefers his with a side of kindness rather than tsundere. He also finds it incredibly funny that everyone just... pointedly ignores his presence. A demon he may be, but their sect leader wanted him there, so there he would stay. The whole scenario brings to mind the forbidden romances his uncle loved to read about. As he settles in, watching Gongyi Xiao overhaul Huan Hua Palace and all its greedy rules, he thinks his uncle would want to see how this story ends.
-
AND THAT'S IT! My wrists hurt and i accidentally posted before it was done, lmao, but yeah. Feel free to write this, I feel like I'd start it and never finish lol
#mushang#liushen#mobing#gongzhi#svsss#mxtx#mxtx svsss#mu qingfang#shang qinghua#liu qingge#shen qingqiu#mobei jun#luo binghe#gongyi xiao#zhuzhi lang
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I've been furiously wondering about this, like I would LOVE to see all the events that took "Vi died during the job in this version" to basically a perfect Zaun where everyone else is happy.
The only idea I've had so far is that like, Vander has been struggling to keep his people satisfied with the painful status quo he's got the Lanes in because of his refusal to ever fight again. Vander was overcorrecting here because he didn't want anyone else to get killed.
Well, he didn't fight Piltover and one of his daughters still got killed.
Maybe that kind of made him realize that this status quo isn't what will keep his people safe in the end, it can't be maintained forever, and it didn't even protect his family. I dunno if he would have gone back out to search for Silco after this or if Silco would have heard about it and maybe finally approached him instead?
I love the idea of Silco being like, "Well, look at that. You sure are doing a good job keeping everyone safe." Kinda twist the knife because he still never received that letter and he's still hurt over the betrayal, so fuck Vander's feelings, right?
But Vander is like... idk, probably awfully conflicted. Angry and upset ofc, but he doesn't get physical cause he can't possibly regret what he did before only to do something like that again (as in that's what he thinks, so no punching or choking allowed, even if deserved in that moment). Maybe he's even kinda defeated about it or wrapped up in the shock of seeing Silco again since he apparently just never came back?
And they have one of those REALLY juicy, harsh fights that does eventually lead to them making up because at least now they're talking about it. Blurting out years of pent up hurt and pain and dead hopes, in an environment where they're on equal terms instead of Vander needing to focus on begging Silco not to destroy everything.
I love this timeline and I wanna see every speck of it??
also if anyone writes this scene out before I maybe possibly start to consider writing it myself, if anyone posts this, DM it to me, I'll read it in a heartbeat and cry about it. x3
đ¨Crack theoryđ¨ but at first I was confused how Vi's death led to an alternate universe where everything is a utopia. Even if Hextech was never invented it doesnt explain how all the class disparity was solved. And then I realized it was probably this:
Vander and Silco are the only ones who really had a plan for a unified and independent Zaun. My theory: after the accident, Vander went into grief over the death of his daughter and stumbled pathetically into the arms of his ex-twink, finally apologized for trying to kill him that one time, they get back together and solve all poverty with the power of old man yaoi. (Also Silco stops making drugs at some point)
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WAITER, WAITER! more paulliam pls!!
SORRY IM WORKING ON OTHER ART RIGHT NOW AND IâM NOT SUPER MOTIVATED TO DRAW PAULLIAM ATM!! but for you, dear anon, are some very, VERY old drawings from when the unaired animated pilot came out that have never seen the light of dayâŚ
iâm thinking about continuing that fic i started about this, i never got past the first chapter so i never posted anything about it but i loved the idea of this goofy, slightly egotistical prince who wanted nothing more than to impress and immediately marry the truest most beautiful witch on the isles (while said witch didnât like the idea of that and wanted to actually get to know him, you know, that fun trope) (and then he realizes that the prophecy was a lie because his family just wanted him to make a name for himself in some way and feels like maybe he doesnât need to be with Paulina but oh gosh damn it sheâs in love with him now) (and itâs a whole thing)
also here is another drawing of huntlow i did that same day based on these cute water bottles i saw on pintrest
#ask#the owl house#toh#sir william toh#paulina toh#toh pauliam#hunter toh#toh willow#huntlow#art#lucentâs art#lucentâs posts
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Does a bad ending ruin a good story? A comprehensive guide to my feelings on the Arcane finale
*Spoilers for Arcane season 2*
So. You just finished the show, and you're staring at the screen in bewilderment. Perhaps youâre even with some friends, shouting words of confusion to the rolling credits. Try as you might, you can barely hear them, because a single thought echoes in your mind and pushes away any other:
âWhat the fuck just happened?â
If this happened to you, then boy oh boy, we're on the same boat. If it didn't, well, I'm glad for you friend! We might not have been looking for the same things from this story. But this is my post, meaning I will give my opinions (which are objectively correct because this is my blog and I'm the mayor here) on everything that Arcane broke and failed to deliver in its last 2 episodes.
Let's start with characters, and why none of it mattered.
Jinx symbolized the fear we all have of not belonging somewhere, of not having anything to call home or anyone to call a family. Her anger stemmed from wanting to carve a place in a society and a world that had so harshly rejected her (i.e., Vi leaving her). Her existence was a huge middle finger to all that refused to let her live, a fight to build herself something wholeheartedly hers (hence her being an inventor). It was proof that despite the world telling her she was better off dead, she would never stop fighting to prove it wrong.
⌠and she died.
She died, and that means all the suffering she went through to exist simply amounted to nothing. She left nothing behind either, no trace of a legacy, something that would have left her mark on that world. Isha, the child she raised as a daughter, died. Silco, who she taught love and care to, died. Vander, who she brought back from years of trauma and torture, died. Jinx fought so hard to live, and in the end, it was as if she hadn't lived at all.
Viktor is most certainly the character that made me the angriest, because of how attached I am to the person he is in season 1 (and even the first two acts of season 2 to an extent). Everything that made him so beautifully complex⌠gone, in about 10 minutes. There was NO reason to make him the surprise ultimate villain. Viktor had always, always been a pacificist. That's why he was so adamant Hextech not be used as a weapon. That's why every time there were chances to test hextech to hurt, he tried to learn how it could heal. Yes, his fusion with the hexcore had changed him; but NOT into a man who didn't care for human life. He wanted to help all the hurt done to his people. People like him, living day to day in the undercity, but who had never gotten a chance to crawl out of their hell. His community was about HEALING, not controlling. The very IDEA that he would accept killing innocents and ally with Noxus, the warmongers, is so ridiculous I could genuinely laugh if it didn't make me so angry. The show needed an easy, black-and-white showdown to conclude a story that would have needed so much more time to tell. And they chose Viktor. Because it was the easy way out. It was the perfect foil to the return of the Golden Boy. And that PISSES me off.
There is this really shitty concept in popular media that the handicapped/chronically ill character is always in the pursuit of being âcuredâ and that they need outside help to realize âthat their imperfections make them perfectâ. Fuck. You. As someone with chronic illness and who just finished beating blood cancer, fuck you. That realization, that you're you with every part of your being, even the âbadâ ones, cannot come from outside. It's YOU who needs to learn it. It's you who needs to discover how your body and your mind are so much stronger than you previously thought them to be. Not your lover, your family, your friends, or God forbid your able-bodied lab partner. You. Others may tell you as many times as they want your illness doesn't define you; it won't matter until you, yourself, have understood why and have accepted it. Having someone swoop in and âfixâ Viktor with a âyou don't have to change uwuâ is justâŚ.. so reductive I can barely find the words for it. That was VIKTORâS path to find, and not Jayceâs role to find it for him.
Also⌠Viktor wasn't trying to âfixâ his leg; he was trying to find a cure to a deadly illness ravaging his body and no doubt the bodies of many in Zaun. The HELL is the message here??? That he should have just rolled with it because the deadly illness was part of him??? Again, as a cancer survivor. Fuck right off.
Of course, I can't just ignore the hideous get-up they put him in at the end. The man who laughed at Jayce's narcissismâŚ.you want me to believe⌠he would put on that fucking edge lord costume and not DIE of embarrassment??? The design makes no sense from a narrative standpoint either: if his cane has become the sceptre, why is he still keeping it? He doesn't need it anymore to walk, and it's a reminder of his weaknesses as a human that he apparently hated so much. Why the hell does he keep it then? And the hexclaw. Where did that bad boy come out from?? Did you all see a secret extra bonus scene where he steals it from the lab, because I sure didn't. It doesn't add anything to his sets of powers either itâs⌠it's a fucking laser gun. WHY. And oh sweet god that mask⌠there would have been so many ways of designing a mask more meaningful than the one from LoL. This one is just. A piece of metal he spawned in embryo. Get it? Because he's made of metal now and also hiding his face means no more humanity? Get it?? Of fucking course you do, because this was the easiest and worst possible way they could have integrated the mask.
Viktor and Jayce had a fantastic dynamic in that Viktor had started out as the loner, the underdog scientist from the slums; while Jayce was the leader figure, living in comfort that made him attachingly naive, his face plastered on posters stroking his ego. The shift is delightfully slow, as Viktor gains in confidence and determination to see his invention through no matter what, while Jayce is confronted with harsher and harsher truths about the world he so blissfully ignored. By Act 2, they have fully switched roles: Viktor is now the leader figure, a symbol of the future for the people, while Jayce is desperately alone, both physically in the hexcore anomaly, and mentally in being the only one who has seen the devastating future. Excellent stuff. What would be a great way to push these parallels further and to show the complexity of these characters, and perhaps how they can balance each other out? Well, Fortiche sure didn't know, now Viktor is the bad bad guy and Jayce is mister hero. Zaun bad, Piltover good. All nuance, gone. Proving that indeed, the man from poverty and inequality turns out evil, while the one from comfort and wealth turns out to be the hero of the story. The whole âgiving a warm speech to the bad villain about how you care for them, somehow immediately changing their ways, and dying together to save the worldâ can work well in shounen anime where friendship is magic, or in the Ben 10 live-action movie (yes, that's the plot, I thought that wasn't deep when I was like 7 years old so imagine now), but not in a show like Arcane. Not with the ethical and moral nuances they have accustomed us to.
And now, let's explore...
Plotholes and incomplete storylines galore.
Ekkoâs tree and the contamination of Zaun from Piltover? Fuck that. The huge showdown between the two opposite yet sister cities, like Jinx and Vi, that has been built up for two seasons? Fuck that. And for what?
For the Noxus sequel teaser.
Melâs plotline about finding her mage origins had NOTHING to do with the main plot. Absolutely nothing. It added 0 twists or intrigues to the story, and served no purpose except making her a deus ex machina for a broken ending. All it was there for was to lay the base for a following show on Noxus and the Black Rose. Time that could have been spent either giving Mel a proper arc related to the plot, or giving all the other rushed character arcs more development.
Finally, and I deeply regret having to say this, but⌠the end of Vi and Cait's relationship was majorly disappointing to me. As an LGBTQ+ person myself, who feels attraction to women, it was a delight to have such a realistically portrayed w/w relationship on screen. Popular media tends to portray m/m relationships as these doomed, sinful feelings between two repressed guys, while w/w relationships are shown to just be all sunshine and rainbows and teddy bears, because two women together are a cute little accessory to have on screen. Itâs non-threatening. But not Cait and Vi; their bond was raw, and rocky, with violent lows and passionate highs in a world that seemed to want to keep them apart. Their separation and the introduction of Maddie showed the reality of a w/w relationship, where fights and cheating ARE things that happen, because they're two adult women with different beliefs, objectives, an trauma. Putting them back together, as if nothing had happened, without giving us anything about how their relationship would have evolved from the breakup? I'd never thought I'd say this, but it's too easy. How about Caitlyn's literal descent into fascism??? Weâll just ignore that? Vi will just ignore that?
As with everything else, this last part of Arcane destroys all the complex emotions that exist between these characters, the resentment, the anger, the frustration, built upon years of different social conditioning⌠gone. Because they had 2 episodes left to wrap it up, and there was no way to make a coherent and natural transition to them getting back together with that kind of time. And can I just say. The decision to have Vi, symbol of Zaun, go down on Caitlyn, symbol of Piltover and enforcers, in a prison cell that has held innocent Zaunites and represents their complete lack of freedom as individuals by a cop state that oppresses themâŚ.. yeah, bad. So bad.
And⌠the multiverse. Yup, they went the multiverse route. Now, that's not necessarily a bad thing: the concept of multiverses itself is interesting in a vacuum, and quite a few properties have managed to make it work coherently. But it has been terribly overused and bastardized in serialized content in the last few years, for the simple reason that it's extremely practical. Why make a new, original series when you already have worlds and characters that are developed, and come with built-in fans? It's a money-saving hack! Why dedicate yourself to an ending that is meaningful in its finality and wraps the story properly when you can just say âIt's just one ending in the multiverse!â. It takes away any accountability to the fans, and leaves the door open to a potential other version of the story! The perfect combo!
âŚexcept in practice, it comes off as lazy in a medium where that trope is overly saturated (don't start me on Marvel), and like a cowardly way of escaping from the responsibility of really taking the time to craft a good, solid ending to end your story.
So, with all that said: does it ruin Arcane for me? No, absolutely not, and I donât think it should be for you either. The intricate artistry and raw talent that went into making the first season (and I would say a majority of the two first acts of season 2) is undeniable, and will stay undeniable. Nothing can touch that story. It will forever be one of my favourite pieces of animated media, which is saying a lot because I'm currently getting my master's degree on that topic.
However, it does give Arcane, as a whole rather than two separate seasons/entities, a very bittersweet feeling that is hard to forget. Thinking of what could have been, just if a little more time had been given to the minds behind the masterpiece you so loved⌠it's its own form of heartbreak. Academics have even compared it to experiencing a form of death of a loved one, before they ever got to reach their fullest potential and live the life they deserved. It may sound dramatic, but the feelings you feel in this moment, watching the horrible end of a fiction you have so much love for, are real. No one can take those away from you. You're allowed to grieve the loss of something that meant a lot to you.
Tldr; No, Arcane is not a bad series because of its rushed and incomprehensible ending. As they say, it's all about the journey, not the destination, even if that's one of the parts we tend to remember the most. And I don't know about you, but this was one of the best journeys I've ever been on.
#reminder this is not an invitation for debate in the comments and reblogs Im just explaining my feelings#God i wish i didnt have to make this post#I believed they could still salvage something until the very end#moral of the whole thing: never trust a goddamn story written by the french#j'ai 100% le droit de dire ca j'ai eu mon Bac L juste pour chier sur le fait que les auteurs francais sont pas capable d'ĂŠcrire une fin#ET J'AVAIS RAISON#the weight of being a prophet.......#god tagging this is gonna hurt me emotionally but here goes#arcane spoilers#arcane critical#arcane criticism#anti arcane#arcane season 2#arcane finale#arcane jinx#arcane viktor#arcane caitlyn#arcane vi#arcane ekko#arcane jayce#arcane mel#rant#mine#thank you for reading this far fellow tumblr enjoyer i hope you have a good day
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fuck it here are my ninjago sexualities headcanons...
jay and nya are so bi coded. they're both openly bi. thats it
kai gives off massive pansexual vibes. he's so pan and has the craziest and absurdest rizz pickup lines and whenever he practices them in the monastery the other ninja eavesdrop on him and laugh and cringe in embarrassment
cole is openly gay. he soon realized he was never really into femininity and is a true masculinity lover
lloyd is aroace, especially after what happened with him and harumi. he feels very indifferent about relationships and thats so relatable
zane and pixal are asexual (like they're nindroids, i dont think borg nor dr julien would build in some weird ahh feature ima be real w u guys) and if they ever decided to procreate they'd build one together and it would be the most adorable thing ever (kinda like the robots movie)
sensei wu doesn't know what any of these terms mean and was left confused when the ninja tried explaining it to him. he just replied with "okay" and sipped his tea
if i have any more ideas i'll update this blog post :3
reminder these are all headcanons made by me and there's no right or wrong in creating headcanons!!! having different ones just shows how creative we as a fandom are. so chop chop, drop your own headcanons if you wanna!!!!
Some ppl from the Ninjago fandom NEED to see this
Cus like seriously ppl forget just because a characters sexuality isnât confirmed it doesnât automatically make them straight
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago headcanons#lgbtqia#gay#bisexual#pansexual#aromantic#asexual#ninjago fandom#ninjago jaya#jaya#ninjago pixane#pixane#ninjago nya#nya smith#ninjago jay#jay walker#lloyd montgomery garmadon#lloyd ninjago#lloyd garmadon#ninjago lloyd#zane julien#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#cole brookstone#pixal borg#ninjago pixal#sensei wu#ninjago harumi
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