#i just randomly think about it sometimes and im like UMMM WHAT

[anticidic]

Still blows my mind that Chuuya is older than Dazai. Only by a few months, but still.

And Kunikida is younger than both of them.

And all three of them are younger than Ranpo.

[bugisbonkerz]

what if when duck said he “always knew he deserved to be dead” he also (maybe unknowingly) meant he excepts how their world works. like we all know he loves living in that hell hole of a home and love love loves when things go orderly and as planned. and he’s ALWAYS fucking dying so he’s sorta like . “hey. if this world wants to kill me sometimes that’s okay.” duck will just randomly out of nowhere says things like he knows too much about whats going on, but he just doesn’t care bc he believes it’s normal. and if he has any awareness of this thing specifically , i don’t think he minds as long as he gets to come back. because that’s always what happens and he’s okay with that. maybe he just thinks that that place knows what’s best for him, so he deserves what he gets. even if it means making him hurt from time to time

[sugarbag]

✰﹣𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀 :)

abby anderson x fem!reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀. what i think being in a relationship with abby would be like! (i have brainrot)

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. none i think, apart from poor writing because it's 2am 🤡 reader is referred to as girl a few times and it's implied that reader has long hair

FLUFF.

an. ummm so im officially obsessed with abby. theres a part at the end thats very specific for black women because self-insert 💅 but i'll put a little ✰ beforehand! english is still not my first language :) if you enjoy this pleeease let me know!

- ok so first of all, abby is baby. she is soooo serious about nicknames it's adorable!! once you start calling her by a nickname it better stick because she will literally pout all day if you call her abby. if you do her call something other than a cheesy nickname, she really likes abigail. the way it rolls off your tongue, the way it feels like she's owned by you when you call her that, it makes her giddy :)

for you, she goes for "sweet girl" or "angel" :))

-is a clean freak. like an actual freak. she WILL bully you into folding your socks neatly next to hers and god forbid you leave crumbs in bed

-i do not care what anybody says, abby is an ass girl. when you're cuddling, her hand always finds its way to your behind. and when you question her about it, she says it must be sorcery.

of course, she loves every part of you but dat ass... do not bend over near her, she absolutely will fake fuck you from the back and put her whole heart into it. im talking grunting and moaning and you're just standing there like🤰

- she's such a great cook! she learned how to cook with her dad and after his passing, it became a way to feel closer to him. so she cooks for you all the time and acts grumpy when you call her your little housewife but she loves it really :)

-FOREHEAD KISSES‼️especially if there's a height difference, shes such a sucker for those! receiving and giving of course

- please play with her hair :( if you don't know how to braid, she'll teach you :(( BRAID IT OMGGG she loves when you do anything with her hair, brush it, braid it or just pass your hand in it, she'll take anything :) she'll only let you touch her hair, especially if it's undone and her beautiful blonde strands are on display goshhhh

- she will 100% let you paint her nails whatever color you want. no questions asked.

- shares everything with you. sometimes not even on purpose. like her clothes are your clothes and vice versa, you two basically have one big closet. gives you her jacket (the WLF one:)) you want some fries from abby's plate? done. you like her pine scented bodywash a little too much? it's yours :)

- absolutely HATES horror movies. she cannot stand them, maybe a few classics not too gorey but either way she just doesnt watch them. truth is she's a scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies, so when you insist to watch one together, you see your 6ft tank of a girlfriend with her eyes half open and flinching at every noise. truly an hilarious sight. if you watch horror movies alone, she'll just stand like a dad and never sit down because it scares her less that way lol🧍‍♀️

- ok so she's not big on pda but god is she clingy. she never lets go of you (not that you're complaining), always wants to touch you in some way, wether its by holding you hand or having her hand in your back pocket :)

- takes you on surprise dates!! you randomly get texts like "are you busy rn? the museum is open👀" or "it's been a while since we've been at the park. put your shoes on" XJDJSBD

- acts like she hates sunscreen just so that you'll have to put it on for her and smirks the whole time

- takes all the space in bed and when you complain about it, she just puts you on top of her "there, you go angel, got enough space now?"

- SHE LOVES CUDDLING big spoon, little spoon or just being intertwined on your shared bed, she just loves physical touch, ESPECIALLY yours <3

- she's an early bird. i believee abby has the sleep schedule of a grandpa, so she goes to sleep at 9pm sharp and wakes up at 5am to go to the gym. once you tried to persuade her to stay up longer and you got to 10:30pm🙀

- if you go to the gym with her, she'll be like a little kid, all excited to show you around and stays with you the whole time to teach you some exercises. doesn't matter if you know them already, she WILL show you everything

- is a bigggg fan of deep conversations. very early in your relationship, the two of you would have hours long conversations about literally anything. but at some point, you realize you've been talking for a while and abby's just sitting there, gazing at you and admiring everything about you. the way you talk, your voice, the little mimics you make or the way you move your hands when you're animated.. yeah she's down bad.

- she lovesss when you do skincare together, pretended like she hated it at first but she just feels so comfortable with you, she feels at ease. she can relax more and having a sheet mask on with cucumber slices under her eyes is surprisingly relaxing

- her main love languages are physical touch (i know, shocker), gift giving and quality time!

- gifts you sooooo many plushies but pouts when you put them on your bed?? and you're like, "where else should i put them?" and when she points to the closet, you're so offended. they're your babies they are not going in the closet. when you're both laying on the bed, she gives them the stink eye >:

- loves being domestic. cooking together, cleaning together, going to the museum and talk about what you saw days after still, taking walks in the park like an old married couple :) she just can't wait to be your wife :))

✰ (a few thoughts about abby with a black gf!)

- STEALS YOUR SHAMPOO! and when you tell her about, she acts innocent as if her hair didn't smell like shea butter and coconut

- that woman is fascinated by your hair routine. every product you have, she tries it out on herself because she lovesss the smells. she could watch you do your hair for hours (she has)

- wants to help with wash day and she gives the best scalp massages. gets a bit messy if she helps you and definitely takes even more time but she's so precious when she does it :( "is the water too hot?" "is that okay?" "am i tugging too hard?"

- is a fucking beast when it come to braiding your hair once you teach her, she can do anything, box braids, cornrows, knotless, YOU NAME IT

- could watch you in the sun for hours (she does) in an every day context she already wants to stare at you all the time, but when your skin is glowing in the light? she looks at you like you hang the moon and stars

- she wears bonnets religiously and you have matching ones ughh thats too cheesy (but true)

LOOK AT HER‼️‼️

can you tell abby's my girlfriend??

tell me if you like it <3

✰﹣𝔰𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯𝔟𝔞𝔤

[proxythe]

Whats your favourite thing about every sees member !!

ermagerd let me think… ummmmm. i’ve posted long ass posts before but this one feels especially long for some reason so i’m gonna crop it but. it’s hard to pick just one favorite thing about everyone but i tried my best 😭😭😭 press on ahead if u dare to read some of my sees yapping…

minato - this technically could go for kotone in the social links they share, but i’ll count it for him in the sense that he’s the original protagonist. the small ways minato shows he cares for others even when the game has just begun and his care for life can be seen as indifferent, he still goes out of his way to do such nice things for others. i’m mainly thinking about the old couple, where minato gets them something from the persimmon tree when he definitely, from character perspective not game perspective, didn’t have to

kotone - HER AGGRESSION !!!!!! her violent tendencies. her protectiveness over her female friends. i’ll bring this up everyday idgaf ..!!!!! i’ve gone on abt this too many times now so i won’t bore yall but … Violent kotone… if i had to pick something else then i’d say how joyous she is, or how joyous she fronts being

yukari - her selflessness … i’m not sure if this is so obvious that that’s why people don’t often point it out, but i love how in every instance of someone being injured in game, yukari is consistently immediately at their side. i would call it subtle in the way that you’d likely be so wrapped up in the plot u wouldn’t immediately notice, but when u notice it it’s like … god.. yukari… i love u..

junpei - when he’s vulnerable with the protag… i am inclined to goofy junpei 99.9% of the time, but i very much enjoy his serious moments. i like when he is open with the protagonists, mainly kotone, and puts his silly down … tbh i also love when he snaps at them in december(?) and is just completely raw n emotional for once…

fuuka - i think what first comes to mind is just how nice fuuka is to others. like natsuki, despite being unforgivably bullied by her (imo ts was unforgivable… but no shade natsuki). yet she’s very forgiving … and she’s very silly. i love fuukas determination to keep trying something even when she’s horrifically bad at it 😭

aigis - holyyyyyyyy i could go on forever abt aigis oh my word. i suppose ill shorten it to i love how much aigis values life … not even just her own, but every living thing she comes across. i could fkn cry thinking about the cat in her social link rn… not even just the cat either, but the old woman as well. aigis … GAHHH

mitsuru - when she speaks french. her attempt to look like a super genius despite already being one through speaking french is so funny to me. love when a typically serious character like her has quirks like that. especially ones like randomly speaking french sometimes

akihiko - i want to say both how smart he is (bc too many ppl think he’s dumb) & also how silly he is (bc i enjoy when he gets a little dumb) 😭 he’s my favorite character im tweaking out trying to pick just one thing LMFAOO ummm. his autism is my favorite thing… ummm

shinjiro - hrmmmmm i quite like how much he enjoys cooking as a hobby and the very obvious subversion it is to the kind of character he presents as under a first impression… & i love how he uses cooking/food as his own way to show he cares about everyone bc he’s too grumpy all the time to actually say anything

ken - him training alone in his room w a broom lmfaoo it’s a cute little thing... i know ken’s whole thing is that he wants to be seen as mature and an “adult”, so i just love when he gets to be a kid/does childish things. like yes plz act your age you deserve to be a child god damn ur just a baby. SMILE!! BE HAPPY!!

koromaru - hard to say with a guy who’s just a little dog. but i enjoy when he’s fighting that shadow by himself around the time he joins the team and it proves how determined n courageous he is … what a good little guy…

[foursdarkdays]

i like a girl lol

Sooooooooooooo ummm the title of this rant? would be "i like a girl" lmaooo Soooooo yeah theres a girl i kinda like?? its nothing serious tho but yeah i like her ig, she's not really my type tho but idk . She treats me so well i cant help it. i feel things lol. I keep checking my phone every second of the day (just did again) and it sucksssss. She kinda likes me back? atleast thats what she says . but idk i dont think so. The possibility is too narrow but yeah.

She has a boyfriend lol and its not like i care tbh cause its not like i wanna make her cheat on him something i mean she wouldnt and i wouldnt want her to. Also i know this isjust a phase for her and itll go away soon. for her or for me. Yk know i cant like someone for long especially if i dont see a possibilty of us dating. so yeah im gonna go with the flow rn. She told me that she had a crush on me since months tho but again ahh i dont think so. maybe shes overthinking . maybe she just wants to be my friend.

anywayyy soo im just going with the flow. we flirt a lot. we blush a lot. Thta bitch flirts with othets and makes me jealous lmao dumb fuck and i do the same bwahaah. sooooo yeahhhh i know after whatever this thing is ends im gonna be sad af for 2 weeks i think? cause we talk so much and its gonna be lonely. but again im a pro at moving on soooooooooo

7/10/23 (1:51am)

(im gonna keep adding the rants)

and the best thing about this is that i'm very well prepared for the heartbreak so im sure it wont hurt much lol im actually very sure about that. I always expect the worst in these things so its going to be chill. I'm sure shell come out of this phase soon and it will only be a memory for both of us. mostly in a good away tho. I'm not gonna take this too seriously and just have fun. you're flirting? okay ill flirt back. you're treating me well? ill do the same yeah thats it lol

i have a strong gut feeling that this is gonna end soon like 3-4 days? i dont know. lets see

7/10/23 (18:25)

Oh wow soooo it almost ended that day lollll but then yeah we kinda talked it out? Anyways i feel like something changed after that. I think in a good way? The obsession feelings decreased and maybe the good friendship feelings increased? I honestly have no idea and i should probably stop trying to figure it out lol. Anyway now I'm back and i think she doesn't like me anymore. Maybe I'm just over thinking? But lol nvm let's see how it goes

11/10/23 (2:05am)

Lmao bitch read this post. anyways im gonna act like no one knows about this account. Its soooooo scary i know i've told this before but its just really scary. See i have trust in myself that if IF something goes wrong ill move on fast, OKAY WHY AM I OVERTHINKING AGAIN. lets fuck this. SHES SO CUTE IM SO OBSESSED I HATE HER SO MUCH. ITS SO MUCH FUN TALKING TO HER. even though sometimes i really wanna push her off a cliff but its okay. I wanna write so much but im blank again wtf

14/10/23 (01:48am)

Why do i feel like she hates me now. Maybe she'll finally lose feelings. i mean yeah thats okay and understandable but it'll be too sudden so idk. I'm ready for anything at this point . I wanna text her but i guess ill give her space. I'll just distract myself and sleep. She has nooooooo idea about the amount of over thinking im doing rn. im so sure shes done with me and will never see my face again. lemme prepare myself. Thankfully im veryyy tired so ill fall asleep easily.

14/10/23 (9:22 pm)

i randomly have such sudden outbursts of love for this baby. i want to cup her face and kiss her whole face , i want to hug her to my chest and kiss her head and baby the fuck out of her. She's gonna cringe reading this (please dont). I want to like put our foreheads together and close my eyes and feel it yk??? i sound soooooo weird. Please dont be creeped out

15/10/23 (10;02pm)

I like her so much like so so so so so so much. Its very scary and i know for a fact that i will be hurt later but ugh its sooooo worth it. I'm sooooo happy with her. The feelings keep growing and i dont think im gonna let it stop. its okay ill let it grow. yoloooo sooo ahhhhh. We just had a pubg date sksksksk shes soooooooo ahhhhh. She flirts so confidently , i was panicking behind the pubg call sksknjiuck. anywaysssss ugh I want to kiss her sooooooooooooooooo bad like fuckkkkkkkkkk i wanttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!.

20/10/23 (01:13am)

Hiii so idk bro she says she's more obsessed with me but obviously i disagree. I think i really fell harder lol I mean it's scary af but anyways. Idk she can go for hoursssss without talking to me and be fine and me ? Lolllllll I try to text back whenever I can but she doesn't do that. Maybe I'm asking too much. Okay i should chill out fr. I don't wanna depend on anyone lol. I only want fun stuff here even though i know I'm kinda in deep but anyways it'll be okay. I know she's putting a lot of effort i shouldn't complain. I'm getting more than i deserve anyway. And I AM happy af. I just miss her i guess. I sound sooooo stupid. Ugh I hope she doesn't read this

21/10/23 (17:12)

(23/10/23) 1:40am

She didn't text me back today. But I'm gonna be understanding. I don't want to overthink. Not today . There are so many possibilities and i wanna listen to her . I really want to be understanding. Because i genuinely care . I didn't text her back till 2pm due to some valid reasons tho but anyway I feel calm now. I texted in our gc and she seen zoned but maybe she has her reasons . Let's see . I don't want to think about anything. I really hope she's alright .

It's like i want her to text me about her day and all but then I don't want to expect much i don't want her to do zyada also idk she's already treating me nicely and it makes me happy. Its honestly more than enough and I don't want to be greedy.

23/10/23 (19:12)

okay sooo ummm the reality is hitting me these days. I was okay being the side chick but its really hitting me lol. Its not like she makes me feel that way nahhh she shows that she cares. Its just that idk maybe im only stupid. she flirts with others and sends me screenshots and everytime she does that i lose little feelings. Even though she does that for fun idk. If she keeps doing this, i might actually lose feelings lol idk how to tell her that. I dont wanna bicker or anything i dont have the strenght and anyway she'll be like nooo i do it for fun only because im cool. **heavy sigh** nvm . but should i let her know? communication is good yk. i guess ill try tonight. if she doesnt fall asleep. Okay ill tell her that, rest is her wish lol .

oh yeah btw todays our 1 month anniversary???? ehehehehe

okay she fell asleep, shes really sick so i hope she feels better soon.

but anyway i keep feeling stupid lmaoooooo i need to stop feeling this way and accept it. Thats the only way lol

21:23 (30/10/23)

Wah its been long, soooo umm idk we kinda had a disagreement? i honestly dont know what that was but yeah im 1000% sure that it wasnt my fault. i took my time to write and explain everything but nah i guess shes mad at me? ofcourse she is. we didnt talk the whole day and its kinda driving me crazy but im trying to look normal. I wont text her first , not because i have ego or anything but because im not at fault here. She took things a little too far and i got triggered. But again i did explain her everything like why it triggered me and all because i didnt want any misunderstanding. But yeah shes mad at me for that? i honestly dont know what to do. is this the end of us? i dont want it to end like this. I'm not ready but i also wont text first. She needs to own up to her mistakes. I miss her. I miss her so much . please text me ughh .

its okay i guess. this is like a break for us i think i dont know how this will end up

22:56(7/11/23)

lmao i got on with a lot of thoughts in my head but as usual im black again. sooo i cant stop thinking about her and its scaring the shit out of me. Atp im pushing myself to go out with friends and family just to divert myself from thinking about her lmaooo yeah its that bad. The worst part is even k-pop idols are not helping me this time. Its always her on my mind. But ill try my best to distract myself because i feel very one sided. Its prolly not but kinda is . idk. But i'm also behaving the same way with her ig? i talk about idols and behave like they're the only ones on my mind when its absolutely false. I'm sure its not the same for her tho. she really isnt that whipped for me lol. and thats okay. ill keep trying to calm myself down . BUTTT the more i try the more i think. What do i do?

05:36am (17/11/2023)

we had a talk yesterday and it hit a nerve, It hit a wrong spot and now idk what i feel anymore. It was hurting. My heart felt like it would explode. I felt too much that i dont feel it now. No i'm not over her. It'll take time for sure but something snapped for sure. I'm taking a break today, from her. I need to analyze my feelings and emotions and think. I need to be ready for whatever is about to come. and i will be, Im strong and i can do it.

I never spoke about this or wrote it here but i think i should now. I need to analyze my feelings and write it out. I like her. i like her a lot. It was all happy happy at first, just us flirting. It wasnt that serious. But it did get serious later. A lot of feelings got involved. I know i know that she has a boyfriend and that i am a second option. I know its genuine and she really likes me. But i sometimes i wish the other way around. Everytime she mentions her boyfriend, its like a stab in my heart and reality hits me. I get distant for a bit. idk if she notices. its not her fault tho, I cant talk to people about this because i know what they're gonna say. "its all your fault, you knew she was taken but you still chased her. its all on you. you"re stupid for even hoping or wanting something from a straight taken woman" oh dont even get me started on how much it hurts when she tells me shes straight. Its gives me mixed signals. she says she wants to kiss me, hold me and do things with me and then she says shes straight. see i know sexuality is not an easy thing, it takes a lot of time and courage and thinking to come to a conclusion and tbh its okay even if she doesnt, but i cant stop my feelings and my overthinking. what if she doesnt really like me and its really just a phase shes going through. because im confident about the way i feel. i like women, i like her, romantically , emotionally and sexually.

i want her. i want her so bad even if its for a month, i want to experience how it feels like to be in a real relationship with her but i know its impossible. Like that equation doesnt even exist.

yesterday night, when she told me she loved me. i couldnt say it back. I didnt have enough energy to feel things because my heart was already hurting. Thats why im taking a break from her today, Her calling me baby , princess and whatever cute things she does , its making me feel guilty. She shouldnt do those things for me, but i want it . i dont know what im typing honeslty. i just want her so bad but i know i shouldnt. i NEED to tone down now . from my side, ill take the love shes giving me, also reciprocate. but not more than that because even i feel guilty and shes going through things because of me, she says its worth it but is it? i know that one day both of us will move on from this. I'm pretty sure we're gonna think about this and laugh but right now i want her, But i also dont , But i do. lol.

14:04 (21/11/23)

Hi, lol. I feel so much for her. like so so so so much. what we have is so precious and important to me. i dont want to let her go. As a girlfriend, yeah i guess one day we'll have to part, but as a friend? i dont want to lose her. I may sound greedy but along with her girlfriend(idk what we are but lets pretend im her girlfriend) right now, i also want to be her second best friend. Is it too much to ask ? i mean i guess it is. It hasnt been that long but our emotional bond is too strong and idk if ill ever find it anywhere else. Even if i dooo ugh idk i just want her for a long time. Even after we break up and take our time off, i want her to talk to me. This may sound selfish but yeah. I still want her to come nag to me, complain about things and share her problems, emotions etc. Relationship issues, marital issues, friendship issues, work related issues, family issues, financial issue etc like literally anyyything. I want her to feel comfy with me, I will never force her tho. I just hope things turn out this way instead of us completely falling apart. Because if it breaks , im sure itll take more than 2 years for me to open up tp anyone again. After my last ex best friend , i really shut myself off and it was lonely. I do have friends and i know they are always there for me but i cant open up to them. emotionally. But with her i can. So i want her , need her for a long time. We may drift . life is unpredictable and people change so its okay but i hope both of us try our best. I know she said she ignores and ghosts her close friends when she feels something is off and then they drift apart but i want her to really try for us. Idk if it will be worth it for her but i want her to try because i know i will. unless she wants otherwise. lol why am i having such emotions today? this is the first time im feeling this way. with us i mean. okay ill stop now.

26/11/23 22:30

I think I'm in love lol idk I tried so much to not be 'in' love and to just love her but I think I failed at it. I'm even scared to admit it to myself because I'm a coward. I still don't want to admit it to myself. I love her so much . I feel so stupid for loving someone who loves someone else. I was never like this. What is wrong with me? Idk but can it be helped? No. I know I'll move on in the future and everything will fall into place but right now ugh i love her and I feel stupid af. Like really really stupid. I'm never telling this to anyone tho. They'll make fun of me lol. They won't understand. I myself don't understand anything. I'm giving away so much of myself and it's going to take a lot of time for me to get it back like after we break up. Anyways I hope she gets well soon. She must be in a lot of pain. It hurts to even think that she might be in pain ughhhh stupid**inserts my name* get it together.

Come back soon . I feel like a zombie without you

Lol I just looked at my instgram activity and was wondering why I had spent 4 hours on Instagram yesterday when we didn't even talk. Then I realised that we did. It has only been a day but it feels like weeks? Wtf? What is going on with me. I'm scared I'm so so scared.

28/11/23 (23:43)

Happy 2 months to us lol sksksk anyways I didn't miss her yesterday. Probably because I was dealing with my own shit . Doesn't mean I like her any less. I still care . I hope she feels better soon

30/11/23 (00:19)

I googled the recovery rate and the death rate of dengue and I'm more paranoid now. Maybe I'm crying too much because I'm sick . I cry a lot when I fever like it heightens whatever I feel and now I'm worried about everything. Myself , her ahhh.

This is way too scary. New fear unlocked. I don't wanna say it but ugh just the thought of your loved one not being there hurts lol. I think I'll never move on from it. Never. So dear universe or whoever is listening to me , you've been mean to me these days , there are only 2 things that I want the most right now. The most. And I'll do anything for it. 1. Her getting well soon. 2. I need freedom from my life . Which means moving away to another country. I need these so bad. I don't care if I don't die anymore. I know I've always wanted to die and that was the only prayer in my head but now no. I want these 2 . Please please please. I won't be able to take it please ahh I'm crying again. I'm never getting attached to anyone again.

It's December already, please please please I promise that if these two things happen, I WILL NEVER NEVER EVER think about killing myself again. I promise this. I really really really promise you. But , if not , then that's it. You know I've always wanted to die , ever since 2011, so I'm giving up on this if I get the things I want. Atleast the 1st one. I won't be able to live at all.

Why am I crying so much. It's too much to handle. I feel like the nerves in my head will tear open with the strain. Its been long since I cried so much . I know I'm over thinking but why can't I fucking stop. STOP. Okay I'll just sleep .

1/12/23 (00:05)

I didnt miss her at all these last 3 days but i think i miss her a little today. I suddenly think about her and feel like crying. This is not because i miss her but idk. I feel like every bad thing happened to me at once and my mental health is at stake. 1. her being extremely sick with that deadly virus? whatever it is. 2. My uni thing. 3 me falling sick as well. i cant control my emotions when im sick. especiallllyyyy fever. i feel so weak and that stupid fever aftertaste on my tongue is making me wanna puke. i think im sleeping a lot these days. like 16 hours a day or something, maybe physcial and mental exhaustion is catching up to me. fuck this life . anygays idk i hope something good happens please. i wanna cry again lol. crying feels nice all of a sudden . its all because im sick lol. i guess ugh idk fuck this

i slept on the couch yesterday night, i think ill do the same tonight lol. i always sleep on the couch when im sick i guess??? ah im sleepy again. prolly med effect. ill eat and sleep now. i hope my baby feels almost better tomorrow. wow im sleepy af all of a sudden . no energy i think ill fall off byee

01/11/23 (20:16)

Lol i haven't written in so long ahhh yeah idk it's going okay I guess. We were having a call on gmeet with another friend of mine and she spoke about her boyfriend today. Idk what happened to me and why it happened but I cried wtf? Like wtf?????? Idk what to do anymore. It's reality I know but it's hurting. I know I'm just a ummm what am I again? No one omg fuck this

03:20 (18/11/23)

i love you

22:36(uk time zone) 11/02/24

Ah i need you so bad but i yeah i should be understanding. I’ll be. But know that i need you so bad like emotionally but im not brave enough to text you .

15/02/24 1:14pm

I love you . It feels sad now . When i think about her, my brain makes me sad lol. Whenever i imagine fake scenarios with her my brain keeps constantly reminding me that im just delulu and nothing will ever happen. I already know that but lemme be happy? i keep thinking about the break up that will happen soon when she gets engaged. I know there’s time, there’s a lot of time but i can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like it’s always there at the back of my mind. I just wanna be delulu , carefree and happy. I don’t wanna think much okay bye

29/02/24(2:30am)

I hope you dont see this but I’m so sorry. There are so many thoughts running in my head rn. I feel like im ruining something perfect. i mean you and him. I know nothing will change , yall are the end game and i dont want that to change. But the guilt is hittinf me these days. Am i that bad? Am i that selfish? What am i supposed to do? Shouldi stop? I dont want to stop but i dont want to be so selfish. Am i really a homewrecker? fuck

(12:06)

(PLEASE DONT READ THIS IM BEGGING YOU)

Ouch. That stung. Very bad. Ahh i can feel my heart breaking into pieces and im having a breakdown. I feel so so so helpless. I really can't do anything about this. I have no way out now do i? Please universe please please help me please.

I'll do anything. Hold me from breaking apart every time. I should be used to this by now?

Right? It's been so long. It should be normal. But as the days go by i can't take it. I'm breaking so bad. This is why i hate love so much. Only pain and hurt. But do you think i can let go? No. The most dumb and stupid award should be given to me. I hate everything

6:46 (19/8/24)

I want a day where it doesn't hurt me anymore.

But i guess that day will be the day im not in love anymore and I've completely lost feelings. I dont want that.

7:06

I love myself too much. I want to be happy. I will be happy. Me me me me and only me.

Every time i close my eyes her Instagram story flashes ahhh i want amnesia. I want to hid my head somewhere and lose all my 24 years memories. It hurts THAT much. Or maybe I'm over reacting too much. Its prolly the latter lol ok.

But i know its something she can't help too so lol both of us are helpless. Im just opening up here and she's not. Now i need to give my brain some rest. I'll be offline the whole day to heal

7:47

Why do you keep hurting me so much. Why do you always sabotage us for everything. Every minor inconvenience you get you let it affect us. Bro even on our one year anniversary? Is it not special to you? I’m so hurt but I’m even scared to tell you that. I think I’m starting to suffocate

[skiasurveys]

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? not wearing pants Do you find smoking unattractive? no, but like sometimes seeing a man with a cigar or a cig just looks hot but the actual act..isnt lol Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Nope, i dont think so Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? probably but I would def miss it Is there someone you’ll never forget?

yes

Do you miss someone right now?

Yes. Last time you were on the phone? like a few days ago (if u mean like phone call) Do you get distracted easily? yes i have adhd

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? im an adult so Do you think flirting is cheating? yeah

Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? no

Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? Mom Is your room messy or clean? pretty clean except for one pair of shorts on the floor that im too lazy to move rn to put away.

Do you drink tea? not really. 

Wish you could be somewhere else right now? yes, but im okay right What are you listening to right now? im watching a movie! Where did you get your last bruise from? i dont know, i always get them randomly. Are you looking forward to anything? the next episode of the last of us. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? im not sure

Whose house where you last at? Kyras

When someone says ‘we need to talk’, what do you think: i fucked up

Tell me what’s on your mind? school. im tired. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? physically, yes  Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah, pretty good How much money did you spend today? None Can you see a cat from where you’re sitting? yes :3 hes right in my lap, under my macbook lol Who was your last text from? my sister What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? nothing tbh What’s been upsetting you lately? schoooool. im tireddddd Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? nah

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? ummm..yes lmao

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? couch

Does it take a lot to make you cry? nope, i cry easy

Do you have a dog? no i am allergic Do you like to wear pants? kinda, but i prefer shorts How many people do you trust fully? no one When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? use my phone lol What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: yellow! What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? no idea Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? hardly. im lucky if i get 5 Ever like someone older than you? always What’s your favorite amusement park? disneyland

Are you cold at this very moment? nah. kinda warm. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? it really depends, i rather people do the talking but it depends where i am Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? connor, alan, almost any man How many hours of sleep do you need to function? like 5

What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? i dont know...lol What’s one fear are you most paranoid about? never being happy. always struggling. Have you ran into an old friend recently? nope Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? always Could you go a whole year without cursing? nope.  Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? tv, i hardly watch tv, and besides now everything u can do on the computer so Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? yeah As of this minute, what is going through your mind? school is rly the only thing, and this movie Does anyone know your password besides you? no Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? i dont think so Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? i can be, but sometimes im not... Could you go a day without eating? yeah, and i have (not tryna sound cool) but yk Honestly, are things going the way you planned? no..but theyre going better than i expect Are you a forgiving person? No, I wish I was but i just hold onto it. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? lol yes What is something you disliked about today? I felt sick for the 68588559th time. but that was it.

When’s the last time you had a headache? last week, they were bad. Is there anything that you are craving right now? no What was the first thing you thought of this morning? about how I had class this morning but it ended up getting canceled. What part of your body hurts right now? none, besides my skin feels a little itchy Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? oh pedro pascal pls What is something that you realized today? i realized i did my assignment wrong, but I figured it out real fast Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? not rly. Do you remember who your first crush was? I really dont. ive always liked someone but i remember one of them being this kid named Austin Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? yup Have you ever cried from being so mad? always What’s a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? eagles Do you have a bad temper? i have bpd lol How many wives or husbands do you want? just one...please lmao What’s the closest pink object to you? my waterbottle  Do you consider yourself lucky? ..yeah i do actually. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? my bra, sleep shorts and my bag Do you trust anyone? no What’s your favorite color gummy bear? red i think What’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Puss in Boots If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? connor Wish you could be somewhere else right now? kinda What color is your iPod? i dont use it anymore, but it was white What should you be doing right now? nothing Do you like roller coasters? yeah! One famous guy you would marry in an instance? pedro pascal

[fairycosmos]

i have had Many, Many a ghost encounters my whole life, a lot of them unsettling and bad but i'll talk about a more peaceful one, my ex had the sweetest little tortoiseshell cat that passed away almost 10 years ago now unfortunately. we were very close and i loved her dearly, apparently she loved me the most and would give me the most affection out of their entire household :´) she would always sleep on my chest or my legs, would cuddle and sit with me whenever i came over there, always purring and giving kisses etc, and i remember the day after she passed, i came home from the store and there were a bunch of random cats sitting right outside my home, in a circle and all staring at me? that was the first and ONLY time that ever happened. a week later i was at my exes house and i swear for a second i saw her under a bed staring directly at me. for years afterwards i would sometimes have very vivid dreams of being in a meadow or at my exes house with her (i usually dream only with sound rarely do i ever actually see anything!) and sometimes before i'd fall asleep, i'd get jolted awake by the sensation of a little cat nestling on my legs or thighs, would randomly feel fur graze across my ankles or legs sometimes. i don't experience that stuff anymore since i moved, but i like to believe that it was her coming to check in with me every once in a while :')

OMG dont i will actually burst into tears but in like an emotional and happy way bc why is this the cutest thing ive ever heard literally ever in my 22 years of existence. uaghhhhh. this is the other thing i wonder about ghosts, if they are real, does that mean theres animal ghosts as well - just all over the place? ummm it's crazy. but i like to think she was being a guardian angel of sorts for you. also im screaming at the cats convening outside your house like they just knew something had happened - that's so funny yet sad. i wouldn't have known WHAT to do. she must have loved you so so much, i bet she's still looking out for you somehow <3 ty for sharing love x

[ratsoh-writes]

hii!! i was wondering if i could get matched up with one of the wonderful undertale au skeletons? this is my first time doing one of these matchups and ive only recently been in the ut fandom, so here goes!

on the outside im a little shy and keep to myself and try to listen to the other person, but truly im like meeting people! i guess you could say im a bit of a shy extrovert/ambivert lol – i love hanging out with people but people are scary sometimes @_@ im the type of person that couldn't decide if they wanted to go out to the mall or play video games inside, though i have days where i kinda just wanna lay down and relax, life can be tiring. if i had to have a SOUL color, i think it would be green for kindness!

the inside of my mind is constantly the "hey so ummm not to be annoying but could you confirm that you still like me and have not decided to randomly hate me" meme. i always get so concerned about others opinions of me, and i have my moments with my anxiety where i worry excessively over something I've said and i apologize for saying that or bothering someone or even existing >_< i need a lot of reassurance and my self esteem has passed the event horizon of a supermassive black hole plz give me cuddles

i get crazy for anything having to do with video games or technology to be honest! im not an expert, but i like fooling around with games and even soldering or coding small electronics. ive fallen out of the habit, but i want to get back into it, but genshin impact has taken up most of my current attention ^_^; sports are alright, though my body doesn't like being outside (so many allergies + eczema + asthma). most of the time i have to do indoor activities, but window shopping in the mall or Amazon, reading fanfiction (like so much oml) and video games are my usual pastimes.

pet peeves and deal breakers? not many but i do have some strong ones. i don't really want to be with someone that actively hurts others maliciously, or is inconsiderate of my needs. ive been neglected and left to fend for myself emotionally a lot, and sometimes i just need to be with someone I trust. all my life ive been asked so many questions and given so many opportunities to lead that ie don't really feel like i can do that all the time, so I'd like to be able to have someone that's willing to guide me and help me since I've never had a romantic relationship before.

the most important thing to me in life is just making it through the day or week and just being happy. my health (mental and physical) has been declining so much over the past couple months, and honestly sometimes my brain says i won't be able to make it through the next day. i just want someone who's willing to support me and help me see what's so wonderful about this life to live :3

im 5' 1", Non-Binary demigirl (they/she) and im kinda thin, and i absolutely SIMP for anyone that is tall.

btw, your writing is so good and there's so much of it! keep doing what you're doing cuz it's so awesome and undertale skeletons are so cool! (and kinda hot)

happy Valentine's Day and i hope your day is filled with love!

I’ve got just the boy for you!

I’m matching you with….

Salt!! (Lustswap papyrus)

You are really his type. Salt loves the shy nerds and can’t help but to gravitate towards them. He likes the layers he gets to peel away as you become more comfortable around him. Salt is all about the chase, and you make the perfect mouse.

Salt sucks at video games. Just throwing that out here. But he will play with you. And it will be funny as heck. If you’re playing a team game, make sure he’s not on yours.

Salt is good for someone who needs a lot of reassurance. He’s observant and picks up on body language easily. He’s also good with his words and knows what to say to help settle the nerves.

Salt LOVES cringey fanfiction purely for the laugh factor. But sometimes he gets really into the romances and will fall into the trap of living a fandom without actually knowing the show lol. If you introduce him to the fanfics first, there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll start obsessing over your favorites with you

[softxhariana]

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 

[deeeelightfuldee]

What's a restaurant that you won’t ever have dinner/eat at again? there are a couple places that have nooooooothing on the menu that appeals to me. like millers ale house. blegh.

Did you have your morning coffee this morning? Or do you not like coffee? I dont drink coffee.

Is there someone you know that is absolutely repulsive? yes.

Are you tired from last night? Did you stay up late last night at all? i stayed up later than i wanted but just because my mind was goooooooin.

Have you ever seen like THE hottest guy ever and just almost collapsed? lol i have seen some very, very, very handsome men lately that ive been like “wowsa. wooooowsa.” kinda like stops you in your tracks sort of hot. but never did i risk collapse lol

Do you eat randomly, just whenever the hell you want? i wish I would have meal planning it is just so hard for me without an appetite and without people who have the same meal opportunities and requirements as i do.

Did you have trouble getting up this morning? no, i was fine.

What's a movie you cannot BARE to ever watch again? there are a lot. i would never watch gremlins, charlie and the chocolate factory, seven brides for seven brothers, etc. ever. ever. ever again.

What’s a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww”? reunions. i love being at the airport early and seeing people find their people. i love puppies clumsy behavior. 

Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? i have always been told my skin is extremely soft, especially my hands. i love holding hands.

Have you ever burnt a food, and make the whole house smell gross? lol yes but not frequently. it happens.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you had your own personal jet pack? it sounds awfully dangerous. also the landings sound painful.

What’s your opinion on perfumes that are REALLY expensive? Do you like them? there are a couple i LOVE that are ridiculously pricey so i dont ever get them. i do think sometimes the more expensive ones last longer so you get more bang for your buck then a cheaper one where the scent is gone in a matter of an hour.

Have you ever really hated a teacher and practically made it clear you did? lol yes. well, not hated but ummm strongly disliked yes.

Who got you hooked on the addiction you’re addicted to (If you have one)? my current addiction: greys. no one got me addicted to that.

Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? I’ve grown up around horses so no, they dont scare me. but it is always good to have some caution around them as they are extremely powerful animals and should be respected as such.

Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? yeaaaaa. im pretty sure it was on pizza rolls. it was like painful for days.

If you could live next door to ANYONE, who would you want to live beside? i would really love to live next door to someone i care deeply about. but it will never happen. i just think it would be cool to eat together or be like come over. come see me. lets have diet coke on the porch etc.

Do you think your friends are pretty? Do your friends think you’re pretty? my friends are insanely pretty. it hurts. i dont know. i kinda doubt it.

Do you like having random power naps now and then? sure

Are you currently worried about your parents finding out about something? no. i don’t think about what my dad knows, ever. 

Do you like concerts? If so, do you like being in the mosh pit? concerts are fun with the right people. no i do not like the idea of hot sweaty people shoving each other around. 

Have you ever “liked” two guy best friends at the same time? lol no

Do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable? i think it will always have an air of potential danger in terms of sexual aspects, unless there are separate bedrooms n such. i think night time can bring out a lot of ... feelings you dont otherwise have lol

Do you like to have cake on your birthday? Which kind of cake in mind? i love birthday cake. i would legitimately do anything rn for a cake. i dont even care that they have gluten i just want cake.

[jeonghanniesfool]

seungkwan | cooties

genre: fluff FLUFF F L U F F

requested by: anon

pairing: seungkwan x reader

a scenario where Seungkwan is your best friends brother and your next door neighbor

from when you were young, you had always been best friends with your neighbor Boo Younghee

she came over to your place often

you were rarely over at her place

she said it was because her brother thought girls had cooties and refused to let his sister bring anyone over

that wasn’t a problem for you

you were 100% sure boys had 3000x more cooties than girls would ever have 

the first time you had an encounter with Younghee’s mysterious older brother was when the two of you were playing in the backyard

Younghee and you were both about 9 years old around that time

and Younghee’s brother was around 11 years old

you had been attempting to shoot hoops in the basketball hoop in your backyard

but you had accidentally thrown the ball too far

and it flew over the wall that divided your yard and Younghee’s

“it’s okay Y/N, I’ll just run back over and grab it”

Younghee was very reassuring

but suddenly a voice came from the other side of the wall

“i’m throwing it back over!” 

and the ball flew back over the wall

and you caught it as it nearly slammed straight into your face

“ahh! Thank you!” Younghee called to her older brother

“don’t throw it over again, Younghee”

“i’m sorry!! it was my fault! I threw it over!” you quickly apologized, hoping to take the blame off your friend

“don’t do it again then!”

and from that moment you wanted to learn more about Younghee’s older brother

you were extremely curious about him 

what he looked like

what his name was

why even at 14 years old he refused to let Younghee bring you over

you were afraid to ask Younghee what his name was

as he rarely came up in your conversations with her 

so you had no chance to speak with him 

until one day

Younghee got very sick

so you had to bring her the homework from school that day

and because you wanted to

you also made some soup to bring over for her

as you were making the soup

your mother walked into the kitchen

“oh are you making some for Younghee?”

“yes mom. I’m making enough for myself too, I want to eat with her over there”

“oh if you’re going over there, you should make some for little Kwannie as well, Y/N”

“...Kwannie?”

“oh, Seungkwan, Younghee’s older brother. It would be rude to not give him some food when he’s taking the day off from school to take care of Younghee”

Seungkwan

so that was what his name was 

you complied to your mother’s wishes

partially because well, she was your mother

and partially because you didn’t want to get on Seungkwan’s bad side when you finally meet him face to face after 16 years of being neighbors

when you rang the doorbell

it took a while before anyone came to answer the door

the door swung open and a tall boy stood there

his hair was messy

his lips in a permanent pout

a sleeveless shirt hung over his body 

and his face was pinched and

dare you say it

adorable

he was not as intimidating as you thought an older brother should’ve been

and after everything you heard about him from Younghee when you were younger

you were sure he’d be some menacing person

but he looked

normal

he blinked a few times when he saw you

“are you here to see Younghee?”

he asked as he glanced at the school issued packet pressed against your chest and the lunch bag with the containers of soup

“yeah, I’m your neighbor. Can i go see her?”

he blinked a few more times

“yeah she’s in her room” 

and he stepped aside to let you in then closed the door

you stood there and looked at him expectantly

“oh OH you don’t know where her room is. i’m so sorry”

you were surprised to see him so flustered

Seungkwan quickly led you down the hall

knocked on the first door on the right and called out

“Y/N is here to see you, sis”

then pushed it open and gestured for you to go inside

he shut the door behind you

you hurried to Younghee’s bedside where she was sitting, watching videos on her laptop

“your brother is adorable, how come you’ve hid him from me all these years???” 

you exclaimed, plopping down beside her

“WAIT my brother is your TYPE? oh my gosh he is i didn’t even realize until now”

she smirked at you 

you punched her arm out of embarrassment and shoved the packet of homework into her arms

“as weird as it is having you after my brother, you should go for it. he’s as harmless as a fly”

“Younghee, I’m not into him!!” 

“you will be!!”

you shoved a canister of soup into her arm as well

“shut up and eat” 

as she began to eat

you opened your own canister and began to eat as well

you looked back down at the bag and remembered the extra canister you had packed

“ahhh my mom wanted me to bring extra for Seungkwan... I should probably give him his before it gets cold”

Younghee smirked again

she drank all her soup super fast

then closed the canister and handed it back to you

“WOW that was some good food. i’m so full now i think i’m goign to take a nap. go outside so you aren’t bored to death, Y/N. you can just go eat with Seungkwan in the kitchen. he hates taking meals in his room. you can find him next door”

she flopped down onto her bed and drew the covers over her head

“YOUNGHEE”

“DONT HURT ME IM SICK BYE”

you groaned, picked up the lunch bag

and left Younghee’s room to let her sleep

you hesitantly walked down the hall to the next door

and knocked lightly

the door opened quickly

and Seungkwan stood there

“oh it’s you”

he mumbled

“um, my mom wanted me to make extra soup for you, so here you go.” 

you held out the canister

his eyes widened and he slowly took it from you

“...thank you...”

he caught sight of the other canister in the bag

“have you eaten yet?”

“no... Younghee wanted to sleep after she ate super fast so she told me to eat outside.” 

“ummm.. you could... eat in the kitchen if you want”

he walked away down the hall and you followed him, a few steps behind

he sat down at the dinner table

and as he saw you walk hesitantly into the kitchen

he gestured for you to sit down as well

the two of you ate in silence

“uhh... sorry for being a total jerk to you when we were younger.” 

Seungkwan mumbled

“it’s okay, we were kids” you laugh

the two of you continued to eat in silence

“you look like Pororo” you suddenly burst out saying

and quickly clamped your hand over your mouth in shock

his eyes were wide and his mouth was in the shape of an o

and he burst out laughing

you laughed along nervously

“i’m sorry that was so random” you quickly said

“no it’s okay” he laughed

his eyes sparkled as a bright smile grew onto his face 

“i loved watching Pororo” 

“i did too! Younghee and I would watch it all the time when she was over at my house when we were little”

“i know you did! i would ask her if she wanted to watch episodes with me, only to find out she already watched the new episodes with you! i was so angry!” 

“i mean, if you had let us come over, maybe we all could’ve watched together” 

“...i never thought about that. i was a stupid child”

“i’m sure you weren’t”

surprisingly

you and Seungkwan got along very well

just from talking to him that afternoon

you learned that he had a particular interest in volleyball and that he loved to sing 

he was shy to sing for you though

and said that maybe next time he would sing something 

he apologized over and over for being such a terrible person when you were children

but you reassured him that it was nothing and that now that you two talked, you could put it well in the past

now that you knew who Seungkwan was

and had become friends with him

you saw him a lot more at school

of course you had no classes together, as he was in his last year of high school

but you did see him in passing periods and during lunch 

Younghee teased you for paying so much attention to her brother

but thought it was super cute that you and Seungkwan had become friends

“if you two get married, we’ll be sisters!”

“YOUNGHEE WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE”

“because you love my brother and the two of you will grow up and get married and have beautiful nieces and nephews for me that’s why” 

“Younghee no”

“Younghee yes”

you and Seungkwan had exchanged numbers recently

and sometimes he would randomly text you asking if Younghee was with you

instead of messaging Younghee herself

something that your best friend caught on fairly quickly

“you’re going to fall in love with Seungkwan and the both of you are going to leave me”

she told you one time, wiping fake tears from her eyes 

“Younghee, I won’t leave you, you idiot”

“but you will fall in love with Seungkwan, i see i see” 

you felt shy and awkward around Seungkwan sometimes

feeling as if you were doing something wrong by crushing on your best friend’s brother so hard

you had no idea how he felt about you

maybe he just texted you a lot and talked to you a lot to make up for being such a terrible person when you were younger

and maybe he felt the need to be friendly with you for his sister’s sake 

that is

until you ran into him at a cafe

he was ahead of you in line by two people 

he spotted you when you walked in and waved shyly

you saw that after he paid and got his drink

he went to sit down at one of the tables near the window

you were conflicted

should you go sit down with him after you got your drink?

would that be too forward and weird? 

as you fumbled for your wallet to pay

the cashier stopped you

“the gentleman over there already paid for your drink”

“huh?”

you followed the cashier’s finger to none other than 

the man that had been standing in front of you in line, standing by the other counter waiting for his drink

you felt your heart sink in disappointment

you realized then you had been unconsciously hoping that Seungkwan had been the one who paid for you drink as soon as the words left the cashier’s mouth

“i’ll be sure to thank him, have a good day!” you quickly told the cashier

and hesitantly walked over to stand next to the man by the counter

you cleared your throat

“um, thank you for paying for my drink!”

he looked over to you and smiled

“oh it’s no problem! you’re such a pretty lady, I thought I’d do my one good deed of the day just for you” 

you had to admit the man was good looking but you really were only 17

he looked well over that age 

“thank you so much, sir”

your drinks came out at the same time

and he grabbed yours for you and handed it to you 

again, you thanked him

“would you like to sit outside the cafe at one of the tables in the patio with me, miss?”

the man suddenly asked as you were preparing to walk over to Seungkwan

“umm”

you felt rude saying no since he had just paid for your drink 

but you didn’t want to sit outside in the empty patio with a stranger

that and you really wanted to talk to Seungkwan

“i’m sorry, I kind of want to sit indoors” 

you spoke slowly

hoping he wouldn’t insist on sitting indoors with you either

“oh but it’s a beautiful day, miss. someone as young and fresh as you should be out in the sun, letting the rays fall onto your pretty face”

you took a step back

“no, sir, it’s alright. thank you for your kind words, but I do not want to sit outdoors”

he took a step forward and took ahold of your wrist

“i paid for your drink, miss, you owe me a favor, do you not?”

“i didn’t ask you to pay for me” you said shortly, realizing that this man did not simply want to sit outdoors with you

he most likely would whisk you away as soon as you stepped out of the shop

“hey stop bothering her”

Seungkwan’s familiar voice rang out 

the man turned to glare at Seungkwan who had come up behind you 

you took the man’s surprise as an opportunity to pull your hand from his grasp and take a step back to stand beside Seungkwan

“scram little boy” the man hissed “the lady is my girlfriend, don’t interfere”

Seungkwan narrowed his eyes and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling him close to him

“excuse me? this is my girlfriend. i was waiting for her to come sit by me”

“Oh? your girlfriend, is she? why did the two of you arrive separately and why didn’t you pay for her drink?”

Seungkwan took the drink from your hand and shoved it into the man’s hands

“it isn’t her drink. it’s yours. and our business is none of your business. get out before i call the cops” 

the man turned to you

“miss, this isn’t your boyfriend, I know he isn’t. this little boy can’t do anything for you, let’s go outside, my sweet”

“i’m not stupid, sir, and you’re wrong, this is my boyfriend. leave. I’m not as nice as my boyfriend is, I will call the cops no matter what you do.” 

the man growled and quickly fled from the cafe

Seungkwan turned to look at you with concern 

“Y/N, are you alright? that man is honestly a sick bastard, preying on you like this.”

“it’s alright” you laughed “he couldn’t have done anything unless i went outside anyway. thank you for helping me though” 

the two of you walked back over to Seungkwan’s table

“sorry about your drink.”

Seungkwan pushed his own drink across the table to you

“you can have mine”

“it’s okay you can keep it”

“or we could share?”

you blushed

“that’s fine by me, thank you” 

the two of you sat in comfortable silence, passing the drink back and forth

“sorry for claiming to be your boyfriend, Y/N”

“it’s okay, you were just helping me” you gulped “it’s not like you meant it or anything”

more silence

Seungkwan spoke again

“what if I did mean it?”

you nearly spat out your drink

and blushed hard

“uh- I- I-”

“it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way... I just... really like you, Y/N. it’s weird because you’re my little sister’s best friend, but I really really like you”

he hid his face behind his coffee cup

“um..i... like you.... too?”

you whispered

the two of you shyly looking away from each other 

“i don’t want to be like that man though, I don’t want us to date until you’re 18.”

“a few more months then” you laughed 

“but until then, is it okay if i do this?”

Seungkwan gently took your hand in his and pressed it to his lips 

he quickly blushed and set your hand back down

and although he looked away out of embarrassment 

he kept his fingers intertwined with yours 

“it’s okay. friends can hold hands too right?”

you took his one hand in both of yours and held it up to your cheek, leaning gently into it 

the two of you had bright red cheeks

but smiled fondly at one another nonetheless 

...

...

...

“do i have cooties now, Seungkwan?”

“yes you do”

“you have more cooties, don’t like to me”

“i don’t have cooties, I’m 19. I’m an adult. you still have cooties because you’re 17″

“oh so that’s the real reason you want to wait until I’m 18, huh?”

“would you kill me if i said yes?” 

[rennyji]

July 20th tweets...

July 20th tweets...

---

“Aaryan” is another one of those Mohanlal movies from the place of my background. I saw this late in life, and during the phenomena, several times, I would mention to my mother, and especially father, about the parallels. In the movie, Mohanlal’s character is a devout Hindu Brahmin from a respected family. He’s happy with his life and has a girlfriend, in a woman he’s known since childhood. Men not respecting societal roles and in greed for money and power, wrongfully set up the family in a crime of their planning. Mohanlals character loses his family to death and humiliation, as well as his home, and his girl friend also, in the actress, Shobhana. He flees to Mumbai, where he follows a very earthly path centered on money and attaining that money through jobs, where his philosophy is “Ill do anything for money.” He sinks himself in alcohol and the company of gangsters and joins them. Once obtaining enough money, he avenges the wrong doers against his family and seeks to restore his family’s lifestyle and “way of living.”

I guess I remember that movie because he was minding his own business, when people rooted in jealousy and greed, wanted to steal that from him. And me, after more than a decade of “lightly and carefully portrayed to the public” abuse, I can’t help but think, wasn’t I minding my own business?

For my sectionalistic brethrens who identify through the body parts, rather than the overall body that is the country, as you forgot about order, structure, unity, brought about through ancient Hinduism, for a visual example: think the movie, “Koyla.” Shah Rukh Khans character get turned into a mute and a servant by the people who killed his parents, from greed, for stumbling on their fortune of diamonds in this life. To save Madhuri Dhixits character, and to restore his dignity, he takes revenge on those who took decades of his life. I guess what I’m getting at is, from Koyla, you can see just how evil some men truly are. Even in real life, some people will take decades from your life. Before killing you, they’ll turn you into the court jester for their people and they may even shock your brains 20 times to make you more numb and compatible for mind control/mind reading.

---

In Mark 4:33-34

33 “With many such parables he spoke ithe word to them, as they were able to hear it. 34 He did not speak to them without a parable, but privately to his own disciples he explained everything.So Christ talked to everyone in parables, and said, let those with ears hear. However he discussed the parables with his disciples, in private, elaborating on their meaning.Here I am, in the present day, a nobody, trying to elaborate on meanings and about living a life with meaning. But my own mother, instead of listening intently, will talk about toilets or do something involving uncleanliness, when I talk to her about things of God. My father prays and prays (though mechanically, without heart, without understanding meaning), and yet he fails to see and respect my seriousness in willful words and actions, based on faith. He’s so busy talking about defending what he as a father does, he fails to see that I’m enduring this, simply because of the hand of God carrying me, when the infidel tries to figuratively break my legs.I can see why Christ elaborated on heavenly things with just his disciples. Other people wouldn’t give it the respect it deserves (through talking about random things like toilets or whatever) or would let it fly over their heads as something nice sounding and tantalizing.

---

Orchestrator government group 1 tries to piss me off to say things or write things about them, so that the child like voices rooted in perhaps the party school I attended (for completion of my undergraduate) makes it about them or me randomly addressing people who aren’t direct with me.

---

I dunno I think I’m being led to think that I’m not seeing “this situation” in the way it’s projected to others…ok guys, lemme walk with you on this, let’s take a deep breath and digest the fact that this has been going on for more than a decade- I mean that alone, if nothing else, is horrendous…so am I disillusioned?

---

So I keep telling you guys to refrain from taking part in this, and to only help me by talking directly to me- especially about the situation. I tell you take a load off and just be natural in your interactions without hiding that this happened/is happening.

Yet, for one thing, some of you may try to assist me on the road under one or more things that you have been led to see me through- that goes back to my talk about mental filters…

If something tells you guys that I’m about to change a lane unnaturally, it results in the following:

The guy in front of me will abruptly slow down, while I’m checking my mirrors to the other lane, leaving me to still drive forward, while the guy in front of me is instructed to slow down. Kinda malicious of the orchestrators, don’t you think? Two cars risk colliding…

But then sometimes, I notice cars in the other lanes, accelerate, as I’m about to change lanes, while others leave significant space.

Please just follow the rules of the road and stop relying on external knowledge when making your decisions on the road.

Some of you may be instructed to smile a particular way (smiling is great if it’s not rooted in an instruction), frown a particular way, nod to me from the corner of my eye…see, think about it from my perspective. I have mind cr*p- to be very very very general- to deal with all day. When you have too many programs open on your computer, doesn’t it freeze or become unresponsive? Whether by design or carelessness, despite my effort to get you to be direct with me, these indirect things to make me think one thing or the other, are meant to overload my brain-the orchestrators just give me stuff to pick up on, where I have no idea what’s it’s about. I may have written something before that frown or whatever. Is that supposed to make me think ur unhappy with me for you allegedly eavesdropping into my life and making things about you, the stranger,  when you don’t even follow me on Twitter or Facebook?

---

I heard the following: DMX- Party Up- from the lyrics,

So whatever it is you puffin' on that got you think that you Superman (doing this for a decade)

I got the Kryptonite, should I smack him with my dick and the mic?

Y'all niggas is characters, not even good actors (ur a bunch of cocky arrogant losers)

What's gon' be the outcome? Hmm, let's add up all the factors

I keep saying there’s two sides to every coin. But you like to tip that scale. Always remember how much of an a*shole he is, more than any crazy, for starters, to put such statements/sentences out in public- that too when the world is monitoring every aspect of me…I mean I could be giving the police or some legal case against me, a ball for their courts through my recorded words and written statements- so in response, I’m in a rap mood:

Eminem says

Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit

I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe

I'm tired of all you, I don't mean to be mean

But that's all I can be, it's just me

I realize these guys(artists)all deal with stupid people like the orchestrators while the larger audience of the world “say oh that’s mean” without context (what was preceding, what was said and done, and what occurred after)

At the end of this, either the orchestrators or me, will be progressing forward in in peace and happiness. Im making that clear, I’m throwing in all my cards, because no matter how numb you make me, my hate accumulating over a decade will find its nourishment. So Have fun, f*ers…

and to the larger audience, lemme guess “oh no he’s mad…what happened…awww” yeah ummm thanks for never talking to me, but thanks for the sentiment too.

Contrary to how I’ve been living for more than a decade, word of advice to the world: “Show the other cheek, talk out your problems, write 300 pages with variations of the idea of returning to normalcy in one chapter in life in an official police complaint, endure a decade, and hope for a solution- this can only be done for so long, and a decade? F* that sh*t. Orchestrators? F* ur wives, husbands , and Kids..

hey guys, when someone is giving YOU a hard time, please be like me and Let them shock your brain 20 times too, for talking about the hard time, so that you can show that you have no decency and are willing to bend over for them, for the sake of “compliancy.”  Next time the F* fake protectors of the law, who don’t protect the rights of an American citizen(wtf does ur Stars and Stripes flag stand for? The red and white ropes they bind you down with in life? Are the 50?!stars on ur flag about ninja stars you throw at ur country’s victims? Maybe the 50 is about, how they’ll screw you 50 times over for minding ur own business i.e always remember: nice guys finish last…maybe the red is about how the country likes to make you bleed/watch you bleed/and entertain others on how you bleed while you try to stand strong)…but where was I? Next time the F* fake protectors of the law, who don’t protect the rights of an American citizen want come in 4 SUVs and make you walk barefoot, for talking about “the situation” ur not supposed to know about daily, be mindful, you will be on the list, when I gain back my authority. Bear in mind the respect enforced, actually needs to be earned through effort and not by a rough voice or tough exterior.

Peepz , when law enforcement engages in a circus, makes remorseful random faces fo you while, get this: simultaneously, engaging in madness, when the FBI engages in silence to make you America’s prostitute of a servant of a hero/icon,

please,

never follow my example.

If any of you get out into a fraction of my problem, don’t waste your health, ur dignity. At times, fists and kicks are the only answer. I went about my life reporting things to authorities, dreaming about best friending a girl in college and marrying her…the works…-if respect can’t be earned or given because some infidel playing or being a false god commands it, “seize respect. “

You can’t waste time on some superficial high ideal high minded losers.

So I keep talking about mental exhaustion…you still actually do the same things, over and over…- so I’m supposed to fall. What’s the matter orchestrators? Could t f*me in the a*s while standing strong? You need me to collapse or be on a stretcher? Would a tempur pedic be ok when you stop most likely molesting ur kids? F*ers…

—-

So I was listening to “Sam’s Gone” from “I Am Legend,”

And I remembered the powerful end scene from I Am Legend…listen and watch 37 seconds into this clip till the end:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7LsxKkh0zg

Starting from 37 seconds, Will Smiths character says “They’re not gonna stop…they’re not gonna stop…” those coincidentally white horrific mutations of humans, in their mindlessness, their aggression, their lack of heart and compassion, remind me of the police officers who made me walk barefoot, it reminds of some party school professors, it reminds of the orchestrators rooted in the mind cr*p - after a decade, I’ve come to acceptance that “they’re not gonna stop.”

For 10+ years of slavery, further indignified by turning me into a joke,

That moment where Will Smiths character and the mutated man (symbolizing an American orchestrator) race to battle towards each other - man…after a decade plus of provoking me, literally 24/7…when we’re finally face to face, I want to see what he/she has the balls to do. De palabra de espanol: “Ver”, ”, mi gentes, “Ustedes Ven la  cara de el Diablo blanco.”

Regarding that moment, when the orchestrators and me race toward each other, win/lose, it’ll be like this from 300:

ttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOLpIkoS0QY

You, orchestrators may have the big guns, may have humanity following ur instructions, but like many before me, it’ll be like these two segments from the below 300 movie clip: 1:02- 1:50, 2:12-2:57

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qubItQjdSHA

In a deep state of mind to what transpired years ago, I said that I will get justice. Am I’m saying it again. You, the American orchestrators, turn mankind into one team in conviction and practice against me, you’ll torment me for a decade plus…maybe even destroy me after humiliating me-as is American military style.

Just know this: I, an Indian man, fated to suffer this “situation” in your country, will come back lifetime after lifetime, to finish what you started with me in this epoch of time, where you seek to conquer the Kingdom of God, that resides in every conscious mind wanting peace.

Orchestrators,ur quite welcome to see me as that cockroach who just won’t die or stay dead.

---

[drunkwithoutalcohol]

MY OPINIONS ON VOLTRON S6 E1

First of all, I’m not used to writing text posts here on tumblr ranting about something for several reasons and one of them is that sometimes people can get very “agressive” with people’s PERSONAL opinions. So I’m asking you all to respect mine because this is just what I think, it doesn’t hurt anybody because those are not my intentions obviously lmao

WITH THAT SAID

Let’s jump to my thoughts....

Im gonna go in order of the episodes as much as I can, just so it’s not very confusing. 

Starting with the first episode where they are inside the Galra base (i think its called lmao). I honestly LOVE how they finally gave Hunk his episode. I mean, the boy has been really smart since s1, however I knew that because of his love for food (WHICH IS VERY NORMAL AND I STILL DONT KNOW WHY THEY WANTED TO EXPLODE THAT ON HIM) they made him look as if food was his only goal. And this is very common in chubby characters and it’s one of the reasons why it pissed me off a tiny bit that his world was going around food. That is until s4 where we can finally see some development in his personality and we see more of the engineer that he is BECAUSE HE IS AN ENGINEER and that is something I remembered just now. So seeing him being all interested in the Galra culture and history, made me more than happy because that breaks the stereotype of Pidge being only the smart one. And I get it sometimes that in kid shows, writers tend to write stereotypes because that’s what kids are used to, so I’m very glad that they finelly broke that with Hunk. Besides, him being a motherfucking badass leader when Shiro was having a very rought time. I live for it.

Second thing I noticed in that same episode is Pidge. In the scene where she took Shiro to help her activate the barrier, she seemed distant. I mean, who wouldn’t be scared if one of your best friends was having some massive headaches and screaming all the damn time. But I mean, a normal person would be worried about it, asking tons of questions maybe. However, if we go to episode 5 (i believe), where she confesses that she created the virus to hack Shiro’s code in case something bad happened; makes me wonder if she knew about Shiro being not Shiro. Which is something I really don’t remember from season 5, you can correct me if I’m wrong. But I like to believe that Lance, when he knew that something was off, he went with her to talk about it and that’s when Pidge knew she had to do something to prevent a disaster. She knew there wasn’t much she could do when Shiro was being “possesed” by Haggar, but she obviously didn’t know that that exactly was happening to him. And then, poor child, having to drag a big ass man all the way to the screen so he could activate the barries again. The bitch must be strong as hell.

Next, thing I want to talk about is Lance and Allura. Okay so this may be the main topic all around the season and perhaps something that has been talked through the whole series. I want to go back to s1e1, the way that Lance is being portrayed, as the typical guy who likes to flirst with pretty girls and now being suttle about it. Even Shiro knew he was kind of surpasing some boundaries, and I wouldn’t mind if this pick up lines came until s2 or at least at the very end of s1, because it is obviously AWKWARD to have a boy who you just met in the middle of war, saying all those phrases to you. A bit awkward isn’t it? And please don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Lance’s pick up lines and personality, but what this is making is compromising the character to have feelings for the same series for the whole series and that something super obvious may be them ending up together by the end of the series. And, again, I wouldn’t mind if that happened, because ik that Lance would be such a sweetheart with Allura and shit like that. But here we go again with the stereotypes :^))))) BUT what I did like about both of them in this first episode and maybe through the whole season is the way that it has developed their friendship, Allura fucking bringing him back to life and Lance being overprotective with her because he didn’t trust Lotor completely. And this speaks tons of how they both growed up a lot, in skills and emotionally.

I’m not going to talk about Shiro in this post because I really don’t think there’s any material to talk about. I mean, he is not being completely Shiro and that’s all we knew in that episode, also he was being controled by Haggar and there wasn’t that much of an interaction from him. However, something I do have to say is that even in his state, I’m glad he picked Hunk as the leader in that mission, maybe he did it randomly but whoever it was, I’m glad it was someone else rather than him. Give the man a break pls.

Last but obviously not least, Zendak is still out there alive lmfao. And I do believe that he is coming back for s7 and perhaps s8. They wouldn’t just create him and then forget about him. So what I believe is that he is perhaps going to take the rest of the galra empire due to Lotor’s ummm... absence... I will talk about that in other post maybe...

SO THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY FOR THE FIRST EPISODE 

and if you guys want me to keep doing this thoughts/theories thingy you can let me know or whatever lmfao 

[freezerburnxfanatic]

Two can play this game. 12, 21, 22, 24, 37, 42, 78, 95, 100, 118, 127, 140, 146, and 148?

@lunacy13 (Hehe you SLY DEVIL you

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

1. Because of You - Kelly Clarkson (always my favorite song).

2. Getaway Car - Lea Michele

3. Objectivist on Fire - Bayside.

4. Go High - Kelly Clarkson

5. Jesus Christ - Brand New

21. What are you bad habits?

None. I’m perfect. lol. Um, probably well shit. I have tons of these. Alcohol is one of those bad habits. Recklessness. Boredom and acting out. Getting INSANELY attached to someone I like obsessively so. Jealousy… yeah jealousy bad. Eating junk food and nothing else. Caring very little for work or money.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Anywhere but Kansas. Literally ANYWHERE.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Ummm when I get one I will tell ya! :p I have the basic routines down, but really I guess the server and shit has been great lately.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Usually make them MORE awkward. I am that person that will just randomly start talking about my tits in the middle of awkward silence for no fucking reason.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

That is dependent on the person I suppose. Sometimes I just need to disconnect from people, especially when things are dramatic or I’m feeling emotional turmoil. Sometimes I just like to be alone. If I’m quiet in person, like dead quiet I’m either thinking or upset. And then, when I like someone a lot of the times I’ll be quiet cause I feel like I’m annoying the fuck outta them or overbearing. So I make them come to me so I don’t be that.

78  Favourite ice cream flavour?

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

95. Last movie you watched?

Just rewatched Quarantine & Splinter the other night. Last movie I watched in theaters was Megan Leavey. 

100. How are you feeling?

A mix of emotions and thoughts, but today has been good. Started good. Is going good.

118.  Do you like Chinese food?

I FUCKING LOVE CHINESE FOOD. God Im hungry.

127. What makes you happy?

My things/shows/games/characters, my family/nephew, and certain special people in my life. 

140. Summer or Winter?

I like the breaks in Summer but I much prefer Winter. I love snow. I like when it’s cold verses when its hot af. I also am deathly afraid of bugs and they all go away in Winter which is nice.

146.Was today a good day?

Today was a GREAT day.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Either “He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW.” or “My solitude doesn’t depend on the presence or absence of people; on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company.”

[silkyandsurveys]

July 28 2017

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yes I love winter 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I just fold the page 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don't take it at all 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes I'm super self conscious of my smile I used to not be until people started pointing it out 6: do you keep plants? No cause they die really easily 7: do you name your plants? No 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I write in a journal 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I love singing so much I wish I was good at it more than anything lol 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Back and side always 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? To many to list or count 12: what's your favorite planet? Neptune and Uranus ;) 13: what's something that made you smile today? I hung out with one of my sisters friends and we always have a good time 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? MESS 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! No 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo always and forever 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Purple would be so cool 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Me and my two very close best friends decided to make slime and throw it at my ceiling and pieces of it are forever stuck to my ceiling. Me and my friend were peeing our pants everywhere 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I keep notebooks around that I randomly and rarely write and draw in but I have a notebook app that I frequently write in. Just about my day or my week 20: what's your favorite eye color? brown and hazel like yesss they're so pretty 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. Can't say I have one 22: are you a morning person? Noooooo 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in my bed and go on my phone 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yeah kinda 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? A car at a car dealership lmao 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I used to be obsessed with toms but currently my converse 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon forever bitch 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset of course 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She's really really smiley and I pick at her for it but it's actually really nice 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yes 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. Socks are make or break situation. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Spent 3 hours making a video star to its everyday bro by Jake Paul. All the words are engraved into my brain 33: what's your fave pastry? Cheese danish bitch 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Lamb pillow pet. Named lamby. Just look up lamb pillow pet but the fur on it is all fucked yo because my mom put it in the dryer. And yes I still have it 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? No 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? None my brain is literally white noise right now I'm so tired 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean 38: tell us about your pet peeves! There's so many I'm not abot to get into that mess 39: what color do you wear the most? Dark colors for sure 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a necklace with my name on it. Got it from my grandma I wore it a lot in seventh grade aka one of the worst years ever 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? Elenor and park 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No because I hate coffee and I'm not a hashtag Tumblr aesthetic girl so I don't go running around trying to find aesthetic coffee shopsn 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I legit don't remember 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Probably at night in a car when I was like 10 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Ok found this joke from a vine don't @ me. Anal with her made my day. But it made her hole week. Bitch I die 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Twinkies. Beef sticks. Tomatoes. Mushrooms. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Car crashes. Thunderstorms/ natural disasters. And yes 100% 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? No it's dumb I pay Apple Music 14$ a month for a reason 50: what's an odd thing you collect? I used to collect snow gloves but for some reason and somehow I have a lot of turtles from a bunch of different places. Like little turtle souvenirs 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My crush and it's so dumb but hey Stephen by Taylor swift damn. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? All of them 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? No.no.yes.no. Idk I haven't seen like any of them 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Ummmmm my face in the mirror idk 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Ummm not sure everything I do is dramatic so 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? It's 1am and I can't remember what endearing means 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? It reminds me of glee. And ps I didn't listen to it just in my head I imagine Jessie sprinting around stage whilst Quinn gives birth so that's an image 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend abby is the vodka aunt and my friend julia is the wine mom 59: what's your favorite myth? Mermaids 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? No 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Little einsteins singing toy when I was 9 years old from m great grandma. Lol love! 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? No 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? No I own like 4 books 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yeah some friends from school I miss 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ew shut up (roses) 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Sad and gross 68: what's winter like where you live? Brutal but I <3 it 69: what are your favorite board games? Uno and spoons and don't come at me saying they're not board games because I don't care 70: have you ever used a ouija board? No im not about to release that shit in my home 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? I don't like tea but if I had to choose sweet passion green tea from Panera fucks major shit up 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? No 73: what are some of your worst habits? Biting my nails. Chewing the inside of my gum and picking at the skin on my thumbs 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Awesomely cool dude 75: tell us about your pets! Annoying but cute sometimes I guess 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Sleeping 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink always 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Hateclub I would say j always have been but I'm gonna be honest and expose myself for wearing a minion shirt to school in fifth grade. Soo. 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Ummm not sure 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Dark purple. No I did not. I wanted lilac but since I'm the younger sister I don't get to choose 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Ocean 82: are/were you good in school? Yeah 83: what's some of your favorite album art? Ummm the flower boy album that just came out is really cool 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Eh they seem cool and I like them but I feel like trendy tattoos are the most regretful 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? No 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah. Not any in specific 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Cuberbully lmao it's kinda cringey but it's so good and hatchi because that shit has made me hyperventilate. Omg and titanic 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? ???? Again 1:30 am brain doesn't understand 89: are you close to your parents? Yeah 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I love philly don't get mad at me for loving trash 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? My home and my school 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? GIVE ME ALL THE CHEESE 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just done or in a ponytail 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? The boy I like lol 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Well I hope it's to hang out with my friends but work is a stupid bitch 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Idk off the top of my head. Aquarius. I think gryffindor 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? For a school field trip and no becaue I was sweating and dying 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I won't mind by zayn <3 that song because it explains my whole life that literally any body I like will not be mine ever! 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the future maybe?

[aousboom]

super long tag game woo

my love @floatingdownthemoonriver tagged me in this super long tag game and is giving me something to do at work so here we go! thanks love :’)

the last…

drink: water it’s pretty much all i drink time you cried: i think tuesday night during fight my way lmfao i cry over literally everything

phone call: trying to get in contact w/ the lady who runs the fellowship program i applied to

text message: me to my sister: “100 emoji, fire emoji, crown crown crown emoji” lmfaoooo

song you listened to: that girl by btob’s peniel!!!! support this angel’s solo track please and buy it on itunes or stream on spotify!

have you…

dated someone twice: ive barely even dated someone one

kissed someone and regretted it: not right after it happened but i regret dating said people for so long

been cheated on: noooo

lost someone special: yesssss

been depressed: hahahahaaaaaaaaa

gotten drunk and thrown up: only one and i’ve never drank to that point again i have weird issues with throwing up and i try to avoid it at all costs

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: sunset oranges, purple, seafoam greens

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yessss omg it’s basically been a year since i connected with and met julie, justine, and lindsey and they’re the greatest people in my life!!!! and i’ve met so many amazing friends through my kdrama network im so grateful for them!!! and also the lovely people from my korean class including my crush

fallen out of love: i’ve never truly been in love

laughed until you cried: yesss not recently though

found out someone was talking about you: noooope

met someone who changed you: i dont know if i’ve truly changed at all in the past year

found out who your friends are: i;ve known

kissed someone on your facebook list: i fucking wish

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all if not all

do you have any pets: not here in pittsburgh with me but my family has one pup, 3 cats, and a bunny at the moment

do you want to change your name: honestly i’ve always loved my name                    

what did you do for your last birthday: worked lol

what time did you wake up: 9:30am for work

what were you doing at midnight last night: ummm i think i was probably watching someone on youtube

name something you can’t wait for: um idk i’d like to find out about this fellowship but i feel like i didnt get it so i cant really say im looking forward to it

when was the last time you saw your mom: monday before i left to come back to pitt

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: let’s seeee... my body, my acne scars, my mental illness, my family’s financial situation, my dad’s health, i wish my mom was happy, my future to actually look bright... so much more

what are you listening right now: nothing im at work

have you ever talked to a person named tom: in like kindergarten there was this kid in my class named tommy and he randomly added me on fb a few years ago

something that is getting on your nerves: loud chewing,leaving my room and leaving the door open

most visited website: tumblr, twitter, dramafever/dramafire, mydramalist

about me…

mole/s: i have a lot of little ones

mark/s: i have a lot of acne scarring and scarring on my back from my dermatillomania, a lot of stretch marks, scars from my gallbladder surgery, and really faint ones from when used to hurt myself, and random scars here and there from scrapes and cuts

childhood dream: cliche but i really wanted to be a singer

hair colour: dark brown, so dark people basically think it’s black

long or short hair: it’s basically right in the middle

do you have a crush on someone: yessss one of the teachers from my korean class omg i really developed the biggest crush on him hes so adorable and sweet and watching him teach is my favorite thing like this is a school girl level crush yall idk what’s wrong with me

what do you like about yourself: hahaaaaa ummmmmmmmmmmmm i love my skin tone and my eye shape andddd yeah

piercings: i have my ears pierced but i have worn earrings in years so i think it closed up

blood type: omg i learned this after my surgery i pretty sure it’s O positive

nickname: lex and lexi are what most people call me... my dad used to call me longneck and i couldn’t tell you any ounce of a reason why

relationship status: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

zodiac: libra

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i mostly watch kdramas now but my fave american shows would be criminal minds, lost, friday night lights, brooklyn 99, baby daddy, superstore, and the get down

tattoos: two and i want more when i actually have money!

right or left hand: right!

surgery: my first ever surgery was getting my gallbladder removed in march

hair dyed in different colour: i got red highlights in my hair in 9th grade but that’s it

sport: i played softed from ages 5-18 and i miss it every damn year

vacation: my most exciting vacation is disney world

pair of trainers: i mostly wear vans... i have nice nike running shoes that i used for work though

more general…

eating: sadly mu appetite is a mess right now bc my stomach is a mess

drinking: water, dr. pepper, arnold palmer, bubble tea

i’m about to: cry.... at any given point in time

waiting for: someone to contact me about this damn fellowship so i can just accept that i didnt get in and move on

want: a romantic relationship

get married: i want to but i don’t think anyone will ever want to marry me so

career: psychologist!!!! although at this point idk how long it will take me to get there

which is better…

hugs or kisses: kisses kisses kisses i want kisses

lips or eyes: hmmmm i like lips

short or tall: tall but honestly i dont care           

older or younger: i prefer older but i would probably date someone like up to 2 years younger

nice arms or nice stomach: i love arm

sensitive or loud: i think i prefer sensitive just because i can’t loud personalities cab overwhelm me

hook up or relationship: relationship :’)

troublemaker or hesitant: in the middle maybe more towards the troublemaker end

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: yessss

lost glasses/contact lenses: i havent lost them but one time my glasses legit snapped in half when i took them off when i came inside because they were legit frozen from the cold

turned someone down: only creepy dudes who just want to fetishize my body

sex on the first date: i could never i dont have confidence for that

broken someone’s heart: noooooo 

had your heart broken: hmmm yeah i guess so

been arrested: noooo

cried when someone died: yes :(

fallen for a friend: in like 8th grade... but not like falling in love i really dont think i was capable of being in love then but he was like my best friend and i did like him a lot

do you believe in…

yourself: idk sometimes                  

miracles: yes? idk

love at first sight: infatuation and attraction yes, love no

santa claus: yesssssssssssssssss

kiss on the first date: yes if i felt comfortable enough with them

angels: yes

other…

current best friends name: amber, julie, justine, lindsey and so many other people im really close to

eye colour: brown :/

favourite movie(s): the lion king!!!!, kick ass, juno, titanic

OKAY I MADE IT im gonna tag @properlypadfoot @jemcarstairz @hyukbinnie @bellamybbblake @seokjinings @celes-tae and anyone else who wants to be tagged!!!!