#i just need some time to think about stuff . and the like. yknow
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
186 notes
·
View notes
Text
see I can’t accept charles’ comic background and socioeconomic status as canon for the show because if I did that would mean the whole group would be a bunch of rich kids and that’s a horrifying concept
#ranging from vaguely upper class (niko and charles via comic logic) to presumably quite wealthy (edwin) to straight up ultrarich (crystal)#well off but doesn’t own a mansion -> owns a mansion -> owns several mansions in several countries#but yeah that aside. I don’t like the idea of him being raised upper class or even upper middle and yes I know he went to a private catholic#school that presumably costs a decent amount of money but for one we don’t Know how much exactly by that point in time (I’m assuming it was#more prestigious and expensive back in edwin’s day) and it’s not like middle class or even working class people can never afford#to send their one (1) kid to catholic school. like that’s really not too unusual. I know this is an american example but im thinking about#lady bird and her catholic school situation- her family was financially unstable and still paid for Catholic school because it was (in their#opinion) the best offering for an education in the neighborhood (and as someone who lives in the same city in the same Area of the same#city I can tell you that that choice does make sense even for a non-catholic. the public schools round here can be uhhhhhh rough)#so im seeing charles’ situation sorta like that#his dad seems like the type to want him ‘kept in line’ and ‘whipped into shape’ and I think he’d pay for that if he could manage it#idk something about charles is just……he has an appeal by being the Normal Kid amongst them. not raised as anything special. not having all#his needs met. never expecting to do anything super grand with his life. just a city kid yknow#anyway SOMEONES gotta know how to cook. I don’t think crystal or edwin have ever had to cook for themselves in their lives and niko seems to#live on instant ramen and i mean I bet she can cook very basic japanese meals but that’s about it#please for the love of god tell me charles learned some stuff from his mom and can cook an adequate meal#I know ghosts don’t eat but shut up#rambling#charles#dead boy detectives spoilers
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
and like sidenote if i can make a post with a target audience of zero. i feel like fhsy was to d20 what aa3 was to ace attorney but aa3 pulled it off better for reasons i cannot explain
#it is. the amatonormativity#^ guy who was REALLY pissed about the sandra lynn stuff#like yknow that bit in the first ep where brennan is like 'oh this drama is going down' and so like the pcs investigate it#probs bcos they think itll like kick off their new quest#and then it turns out to be like. petty romantic drama.#thats kind of a microcosm of the entire season for me#not to say there werent parts i liked (looks at the picture of baron i printed out and hung on my wall)#(and most of the leviathan stuff was brilliant and ayda is a role model for me)#but its all so tied up in the rest of that shit that i dont rlly wanna rewatch it the way ive rewatched fy 6+ times#likening this to aa3 bcos of the rlly noticeable uptick in romantic content in it compared to the rest of the trilogy#like prior to that all that rlly comes to mind is like. 2-3 and pearl's shipping shenanigans and larry existing#but in aa3 both mia and phoenix have past lovers who play big parts#theres a married couple theres tigre and viola (who sidenote i ENTIRELY missed as romantic my first playthru. i am dense)#there's the business with fawles#like it felt like romance played a large part in every case in aa3#where even when it came up in 1 + 2 it was usually ancillary (2-3 excepted but like. ppl regard that case as a fluke in most regards)#you COULD argue that maggey and adrian also inject some romantic presence in the story#but idk it just doesnt feel as central or prevalent as in aa3#like i saw a post abt adrian and celeste being cousins in the aa anime being not just the sailor moon 'best cousins' thing#but like. reinforcing the themes of familiar devotion as aa2's core. and that was rlly foundational to my understanding of the game#even tho its a change that comes from an adaptation#whereas you Couldnt make that change in aa3 without it changing A Lot of shit#where was i going with this. shrug.#the zelda and tracker relationship drama was entirely manufactured as punishing the pcs for not centering npcs#whose relationship issues were ancillary to the overarching plot they were focused on and which hadnt rlly been brought up beforehand#'why didnt gorgug call zelda :/' do u want zac to pause the kalina mystery to roleplay good relationship communication with the dm??#like its one thing looking at sy as a narrative but looking at it as a ttrpg campaign with limited time and a need to split character focus#i dont see what it did for the story besides give gorgug something to angst abt. didnt rlly feel like there was character growth or an arc#sigh. MANDATORY DISCLAIMER its been at least a year since i watched sy and longer before that since ive played aa3#but at the time my feelings were strong and have only calcified. romance as a theme in something not generally abt romance
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
--whiney rant and vent--- starts at tumblr but descends into my life.
Fucking tumblr!! *grabs tumblr and aggressively shakes it*
Some new hell update has made it so every time I reblog a post, i go right back to the top of my dash and have to scroll half a mile through the posts Ive already seen to get back to the ones i havent yet seen and want to see!! And even with the scroll bar it takes ages and breaks the loading and makes it nearly genuinely unusable!!!
But Im still going to even though it sucks, because tumblr is my designated scroll and look at characters time and be with mutuals. And yes this is a very small whiny thing to rant about, especially given the state of the damn world, but with the rest of my life imploding in many numbered crisises that even one of would be apparently considered a fairly major thing to have to deal with im now realsising because through massive amounts of avoidance id just gone "this is fine" despite being very reasonably banned from the word fine by 5 different people and then me, and then others going 'wow that really is alot' semihorrified, and I awkwardly laugh because i am used to this and its not that bad and whatever stupid shit i tell myself to keep going.
So yes, whining about tumblr because at this point its a load bearing coping mechanism. And its somewhat a last straw because i am barely hanging on as it is but ill deal with this like everything else because there isnt any other options.
#astra stuff#ill survive this i just got to be dramatic about it first#and some of this stuff i dont think im actually being dramatic about because its really not fine#yknow the stressed and terrified with the whole trying to move out and figuring out how possibly can i because at this point i really need#chronic illnesses being chronic annoyingly#trying to hold everyone together and then myself too#dumb panic attacks because im on a hair thin trigger but shrugging them off halfway through because i dont have time nor energy for this#the whole fucking cpstd thing which apparently psychologists dont hand out like halloween candy#so there really is a problem here given meeting the diagnostic critera#and what happened to me being just so incredibly Fine!#you can probably at this point see exactly the reason why i write scott like i do#okay apparently more dumb rant in the tags#and im getting really sick of the goverment social whatever services fucking hold music#plus the daily attempt convince my stupid emotions that nooo everyone does not despise me in particular that doesnt even make logical sense#ugh#cant exactly say im fine but i am getting help for what i can
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi bestie~
Its me again- anon who watches summer night lmao.
I need to vent a little bc this show is so funng like istg-
Sarah or Sara- or whatever her name is literally the funniest bitch out there.She comes up everytime to Lune and Star and unprompted starts saying shit like: oh LUNE once held my HAND and I've not been normal since then hehe-
Girl keep doing whatever you're doing this is so crazy i love it.
Star and Lune even though, they're cute continue to be the most boring people to walk this earth. IDC IDC; I said what I said.
Ivy is literally an angel, nobody touch her she is my precious girl. White, continues to be the coolest guy out there who respects people and seems to be genuilly the only one to check on everyone ( but who will check on him😔... the preview is wrecking me already..)
Also THE GAYS the GAYS !!! YAAASSS we got a kiss :3 even if it was a little out of the blue! Still very cute. Loving this poor-rich boy dynamic.
Ok thats all- VENT OVER :)
How are your opinions so far on the plot?
hello bestie!!! <3
so glad you're back bc the fandom for this show is a dry desert on here lmao.
but anyway I'm enjoying the show more as it continues; I'm so glad Lune finally got somewhat of a personality after dating Star lmao, he's still passive and she's still childish but they're cute somehow lol.
Sera not missing a single opportunity to announce to Star that her and Lune used to share an eraser and did piggy back rides is so hilarious to me bc like gurl be fr lmao. I also love how they're somehow bringing in a new girl every episode to mess things up lmao like this is all so unserious 😭 But I love it.
But anyway White and Ivy are definitely my favorite people, they're such good friends to their besties and they just have adorable personalities. I wasn't sure if I was on board when they started hinting at them as a cp as they have more of a sibling dynamic but now I'm sold lol. Let it sail. Definitely also helps that Dunk and Lookjun are winning the acting game in this show lol (who knew).
tbh I kinda hated the JewelTan scenes this week I don't get why Tan got so agitated and that kiss was uncalled for and awkward. I hope they fix things in the upcoming eps.
But anyway the show is growing on me and I really hope this sets the tone for their upcoming lakorns bc I'm in desperate need of some good content lol. too bad it only has 10 eps :(
xxx
#summer night#summer night the series#gmmtv#more shows like this for 2025 pleeeaasseeee#i just miss the good stuff yknow#everything sucks these days#im pretty excited for the others in the lineup though#also there are countless bl actors that need to be freed lmao rip#personally its time to put some of them in str8 stuff lol#if yknow yknow#like isnt it weird how careless phuwin and dunk are in this?#much to think about
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i dont think i ever felt more annoyed at commercials than when those mean girls walmart ads were playing a few months ago or whenever that was
#i think it's mostly bc i thought mean girls was like. an okay movie. a fine movie? i think i liked it#but like. i saw it once. i have no nostalgia for it bc i saw it way later/not when it originally came out#and god the way people are so into it. i mean that is great like i dont wanna be a hater for people enjoying things#but me personally. i do not understand why it's a cult classic or whatever klsjfkdlsfj i hear people quote it all the time and im like. 🧍#so having those quotes i already dont care about re contextualized to try to sell me walmart. god. the worst experience jkfsdjfklJFDKLSJF#tbh maybe it woudlve been worse if i liked the movie but i saw comments saying those commercials were funny so WHATEVER#i feel like it's also the same w/like. vocaloid kfsjdflksjgh like i dont dislike it!! i enjoy some songs#but i never had a vocaloid phase when i was younger. i feel so very neutral about miku#ppl on the internet feel so strongly positive and again thats great and i objectively get it#ive been shown vocaloid songs and some are really catchy#but it is one of those instances where im like man. a level of hype i dont fully understand LOL#miku vocaloid stuff is at least endearing tho. i get.... tired... w/mean girls quotes......... ksljfsljfl#It's Always The Same Ones and i just dont think theyre very funny FKJLDSJFDKLSJF maybe i am a hater damn#jk i do think i liked the movie? god i dont remember i watched it like. i dont even know when. college at the earliest i think#but whatever thats just a case of people having different interests just cuz i didnt care about a thing doesnt man its bad other ppl like i#also tho i think bc the mean girls overquoted bits remind me of like. rae dunn ceramics LOL jkfskfjsekht#or like idk live laugh love stuff. yknow like. dont talk to me until ive had my coffee has same energy as on wednesdays we wear pink. to me#it's facebook wine mom humor.... bc it is people roughly my age that were/are really into it and they are now mom age i guess lwpfhewhfp#god i need to go to bed im tired and it's making me a cranky complainer about stuff that doesnt matter!!!!#went 2 my dash in a dif tab and immediately saw a miku post is she gonna get me for not having strong feelings about her#im sorry miku i just . i dont get it JKFLJDSKLFJKSLD#ur music is fun i just dont proportionately understand. i feel like im missing context w/this one girl maybe thats my bad idk#or maybe it's just i found u too late idk. i will jam to the bops tho#that endless/everlasting/whatever nights thing w/like the 4 alt storyline songs is soooo fun i love those#dont ask me the names of the ppl in them tho i dont fuckin know besides like. 3 of them. one is miku LOL#and those yellow twin kids. len and ren. or rin? len and rin? i dont remember and i dont care enough to look it up sorry small children#theres that blue haired guy that was in the one prsk route i played but i forgot his name again#i dont know if hes in those songs i was talkin about tho i only remember what he looks like in his youthful wonderland alt loll#i talk in the tags bc i get scared it feels safe in my burrow here underground#also im calling mean girls mid and saying i dont have miku hype so i feel like that does warrant going into hiding
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
Coincidentally "ohh doggy!" Is the same thing that comes to mind spotting you out in the wild of my dashboard
Don't have any fucking doggy reaction pics only kitty cat and horsey so have this crude edit. Wags my tail at this ^_^ correct reaction too. If you catch me around you gotta do a Tommy Wiseau and hit me with the oh hi doggy!. It's the morally correct choice.
#luly talks#free to adapt based on whichever animal I'm vibing w hardest at the time alternatively too#unless I'm monkey posting which is rare but i think best case scenario there is throw some fruit at me and keep the distance#but that's RARE tbh only twice or thrice have i had those eras#honestly I'd make a list of all the animals i relate to and to what degree i wont but i could.#though kitty doggy horsey and rarely monki are my main ones and cats are not Even yknow like#i have cat like qualities but i am not a cat per se. more like a dog that was socialized around cats. if doggy was kitty y'know#l.l. is my dogsona in spirit and that iss shown in them bc they're mostly dog but can still purr and have cat-like reactions to things#horses are Completely detached from it tho to the point i cant even make a sona or fursona or whatever#its the most face value stuff. like just picture a horse. now give me a sugar cube. y'know#or spicy curry. i wont survive it but I'll love it.#i once made a whole list of all the others i mean cows are big up there there's a reason why cowly exists#cow eyes are something my family has too. big dark cow eyes. my eyes look not as big bc I'm always experiencing sensory overload and im chic#ato and im sleepy but TRUST ME BRO. WHEN IM HEALTHY MY EYES LOOK SO BIG AND ROUND#I think cow mood really requires in general a deep fucking level of peace.#yeah some of these are like only achievable thru certain emotions.#dog is very versatile too bc it has that biting back quality to it. though luckily I've been not needing to bare teeth#yet i keep tasting copper. curious!#yeah I'm just infodumping now you caught me b4 bedtime and i just felt like talking about this ok. pretends to jump on you#asks#anon
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
that postal movie is so inconsistently ok
#i watched the last like. ten minutes of it cos i know most of the boobie is done by then its just like. blood n guns whatever#and like. i almost kinda get the vague impression of what they're trying to satirize#yknow?#and i still think the dude's monologue of just 'CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG' immediately being shot down is. im not gonna sit here and#cal it poignant but i GET it i think its funny and i think maybe you could argue theres something there about how arbitrarily willing human#are to just kill each other instead of trying to work things out#hence the ending#and i think maybe the stuff with the US nuking themselves to clense out the 'terrorists' would work better if they werent already like#literal villians in the film i feel like the satire is lost when you start punching down like that i think the whole point the movie was#'trying to make' about how nine eleven was jsut a tragedy and not some grand justification for our overseas .massacring. doesn't work so#well when you've also got to throw in a bunch of 'terrorists' as your set of bad guys. you know?#also i dont care chris coppola is really entertaining as richie i HATE THAT GUY#also i lost my mind when the IRS actually called him 'david clark' i was like OH SO THAT IS HIS ACTUAL NAME GET UP#postal dude and faith could have been fun if faith had been in the movie for more than two fucking scenes before. but WHATEVER#WE DONT HAVE TIME TO DEVELOP OUR CHARACTERS RELATIONSHIP WE NEED TO HAVE CUTAWAY VIOLENCE/BIGOTRY JOKE NUMBER 334835345#consider the following
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just read a whole wacky thread of people arguing which parent was bad Garmadon or Misako and I’m no longer scared of the Misako defenders
#shoutout to the one person who was going on about how garmadon was bad for LETTING LLOYD GET DRAFTED??? HUH???#they had a whole bunch of essays about that and everyone just had to ignore it cuz wtf were they on about#their argument kind of just turned into Everyone Is Bad Cuz They Let Lloyd Be A Ninja#and like. sure? but that’s just (LIKE THEY LITERALLY SAID) bc of the writers not realizing the implications. so it’s irrelevant#cuz it applies to EVERYONE man so WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS. also why point to GARMADON do u think he WANTED LLOYD TO BE THE GREEN NINJA#WAS THAT NOT LIKE. HIS ENTIRE GOAL. TO MAKE HIM NOT THE GREEN NINJA. applies to Misako too actually#my point is it was SO IRRELEVANT LOL#oh yeah but um the actual post. uh. yeah the ppl defending Misako were literally making stuff up and refusing to fact check#like listen I hella respect if you want to make ur little headcanons that justify her actions a bit more but you CANNOT be treating them as#fact like you literally made that up 😭#it wouldn’t be as bad if they weren’t also making stuff up to make Garmadon look WORSE. like wtf. they were straight up contradicting canon#to say that Garmadon didn’t care or whatever and never even tried to be there for Lloyd LIIIKE#honestly my biggest damning reason I don’t like Misako is honestly the fact that we meet her GIVING A TOUR. THAT IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN#UR SON. like sure research prophecy or whatever SHE CLEARLY IS DONE WITH THAT AND IS JUST CHILLIN AT THE MUSEUM LIKE WHATTT#it’s like ‘oh she’s on break’ or ‘oh she’s just earning some money yknow ppl need that’ BUT LIKE. UR TELLING ME SHE HAS FREE TIME OUTSIDE OF#RESEARCH AND SHE CANT SPEND EVEN A MINUTE TO REACH OUT TO HER SON????#a lot of the arguments I saw acted like she couldn’t spare a single moment for Lloyd otherwise it gets in the way of her research when#CLEARLY SHE CAN. bro was CASUALLY STROLLING ALONG THE MUSEUM and just goes ‘oh hey abandoned son’ LIKEEE#Misako could’ve been a better character if the writers like. thought about things a LITTLE MORE. and gave her some depth.#and YOU CAN HEADCANON AS MUCH DEPTH AS YOU WANT ONTO HER. THATS COOL. BUT ITS NOT REAL.#I just think Misako defenders should be less ‘free my girl she did none of that’ and more ‘free my girl she did all that but the writers#didn’t know what they were doing’#like Misako has great potential but they fumbled. rip.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
"people love you uwu people care about you" okay? not my problem. love me less. can we work out a reasonable level of care where it's obviously not cool if horrible things happen to me, a human being, and you won't do any horrible thing to me, but you don't feel obligated to fuss over anything out of the ordinary i do and i have to shut up about it and perform Normal Human Emotions lest i commit an awful social faux pas and hurt your feelings?
#like idk. can you care about stuff that matters? i guess is what i'm asking?#sorry that my own self-directed problems hurt you <3#sorry that i'm a horrible person if i talk about it and a horrible person if i don't <3#i just shouldn't have problems i guess cant believe i didnt think abt that#sorry i don't really care if people would be sad to see me die#would actually be pretty nice to get past the huge feeling of guilt over not being helpful all the fucking time#like i can't go through life being a service dog for everybody around me#(and i dont to be clear. it's not possible and when i say i feel guilty over not doing it it doesn't mean i do 100% of the time)#(i do try to be helpful and useful and i hate missing an opportunity but also i don't have 24/7 free of obligations)#(and i can't magically spot and correctly understand what could need help)#(but i feel like it does take up a good portion of my life. mostly bc everybody around me has Problems rn)#(and because the overlap of ''things that feel good for me'' and ''things that are good for other people'' is pretty small so far)#it's just. yknow. i would like it if for once i could express a negative feeling without it being a huge offense to people around me#ejhrkthrjeh i know i'm just asking the universe if pretty please my actions could have zero consequences and it's overall unrealistic#but like. god. i wish for once it was met with indifference. casual vibes. not a huge deal yknow.#some of my friends do sometimes! it's nice! but of course i can't talk abt the problems that directly include them#i know it makes me so shit at reacting to ppls problems. like either i overcompensate with the worry cuz i feel like thats what they want#or i react coldly and dont provide anything useful to the situation#broadcasting my misery#vent
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
when are you gonna see the new spiderverse?
it's not set in stone or anything, but we're aiming for sometime within the first week of its release if we can afford it!!
(on the note of spoilers: i Strongly Prefer to not be spoiled, but they won't like. Ruin My Life or really even my Day, i just would prefer to not be spoiled cause it's. like. a dick move, y'know? thanks. love yall)
#talking tag#asks#atsv#across the spider-verse#generally movies r a luxury we have to wait a couple months after release 2 see but i have been waiting for This One for Five Years so--#--it is a very VERY special treat :}#...even if they did For Some Reason decide that THE best color to flash wildly during like. Every Mig Scene is Give Cap Migraines Yellow.#foolish fool fools. if you wanted to reference the end of Issue Number One you need a PALER more DESATURATED yellow or a red/black gradient#in fact pushing the Paler Colors would work a lot better to contrast against him in a properly colored BLACK AND RED SUIT. LIKE THIS DESIGN#sheesh he lives in The Bleeding Neon Future but they pulled Future Inspiration from one of those boring sleek white smooth round shape guys#Nueva York in the comics wasnt meant to be a Cool Future it was meant to be half-criticism of Modern NYC by ppl who Lived There--#--and the other half was Speculation abt what it Could Be if Nothing About The World In (e616s) 1992 Changed For 107 Years#(...dot dot dot. comma. As Written By Overwhelmingly A Bunch Of Middle Class Cishet White Comic Book Guys[TM]. LMAO)#(the good stuff is GOOD the fun stuff is really REALLY fun and the Bullshit in comic book fashion offers up new writers to KILL On Sight <3#look man im just. im rambling at this point but like i love marvel 2099 i think there are absolutely Some books that ARE worth reading--#--from the imprint and dismissing All Of It just for being 90s Comic Books is unfair to the many teams of people who worked on them yknow#i Do Not Like Pat Mills (MANY reasons.) but the initial art team behind Punisher 2099 (especially the penciler) put SO much passion into it#people only really remember Spider-Man 2099 today but e928 has a really rich developed lore that i get the sinking feeling we;ll probably--#--never actually See Again in any of the same capacity that it once existed at. but. yknow. time passes & things change & that's.. fine.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i sincerely hope this is what my future looks like
#how does one make a shrine to all that is femme#maybe i should get a small jewelry dresser or something to make a femme shrine#looking through my 2b tag (what i want to look like/what i view myself as) makes me equally as happy as it does to look at the femme stuff#have saved on etsy#ive been having a gender freak out all day. i think i got too serious about it again + my hair is too long#i think to me like.. do you know those characters in movies where they're big buff dudes but the things they like are femme and seemingly#out of character. thats a big inspiration for me and how i view myself but i just don't necessarily look like it#i think serving to an audience that doesn't know you is exhausting. going outside feels like im reintroducing a character every time#when really im just some guy dyke and need to chill but yknow~ its hard#anyways that's enough personal thoughts
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Last post reminded me of my "beams ocd to my favourite homunculus" headcanon and.. yeah
#chat do what do we think about ocd!aba not only having that interest on laws and (sorta) concern about morality (to some extent) because#she's just like that but because of moralistic ocd stuff too#like I can see her being asked by para or someone else why does she have an encyclopedic knowledge of (some even archaic) laws and she#offhandedly goes “oh yeah because since humans don't always make sense their laws do and represent what's good or bad I obviously need to#have perfect knowledge of all of them to mentally judge every situation ever and see if me or others are doing what is correct or not#it's kinda exhausting but yknow it's just normal good citizen stuff haha“ :)c#and para goes “oh yeah no that's NOT normal. your experiences are not universal???” and she's like. upset that the stupid rest of the world#doesn't do that too :/#dunno if I worded it correctly + I still stand it's not necessarily a set hc for her but.. imagine + I wouldn't mind if we got new content#that debunked these hcs cause it'd mean we'd have MORE aba content lmao#you know the “beaming my period cramps to my fav character” meme. me but it's “beaming my ocd to my fav character”. sorry u get to hear the#joke twice I think it's funny. anyhow!#text tag2b named#there's more ocd/aba scenarios aside from the laws one but I only thought of this one this time
1 note
·
View note
Note
Regarding Pattison not happening, I actually think there's a good chance we're right that it wasn't Valerie Armstrong's choice. I saw an interview with her (wish I could find the link) where she alludes to choices she would have made differently. She also seems to regret AMC, saying it wasn't accessible to enough people; it turns out they picked her script out of the blue and wanted to make the show. Otherwise I imagine she would have gone somewhere else and we would have gotten Pattison.
first off, I just have to say, what a funny feeling it is to me, to get an ask about pattison in the year 2024. nothing bad, just, like, for context, if you don't know this about me... I was a fan of KCFH from the literal beginning, heard about it shortly before it started airing and liked the concept, watched every episode as it aired (which is pretty unique for me, i rarely get into a fandom From the Start like that), and I was a big champion of it, spreading the word, because I looooooved season 1. i got a lot of people (relatively speaking) into the show and ran a memes account on twitter... I was a #pattison truther the whole time. and so i was wicked hyped for season 2, had a good time with it even if it was a bit short of my expectations even before the finale, but the finale really just pissed me off because I felt like, wow, I loved this show so much and was really hoping at least, it would give me one piece of vindication from a middling season 2. so I have barely thought/posted about the show since that period right after the finale, because it disappointed me more than any other show, maybe, ever has. (that doesn't mean it was the WORST finale i've ever seen, far from it, but it disappointed me the most because I cared so much about the show, and also because so much of it felt like it just fell short of being so much better.)
ANYWAYS... if you do find the link to the interview you're talking about let me know. no pressure but it intrigues me. I haven't read a single interview with Valerie (or anyone else who worked on the show) since the immediate aftermath of the finale, since that interview where Valerie said it was the right choice to not go for pattison and how they were "romantically alone but fine" (ugh). so if she hypothetically has gone on the record with a different sentiment about it, not defending it, then i'm interested.
because. i recognize most of this is parasocial and just my desire to believe that I did see some Pattison Truth and wasn't dumb to believe it the whole time, so I need to believe in a Person who represents that Truth and wanted it to happen while other forces prevented it, and Valerie is a convenient person to imagine in that role both as the creator of the show & a bisexual woman who spoke openly about the queer parts of the story she was telling. I recognize that I will probably never know for sure what happened behind the scenes and to what degree pattison endgame was ever on the table or not. But i do feel the urge to believe it is true. so if there's evidence that supports it, lol, i'm interested. (for the record, if there's evidence that WEAKENS this theory i'm also interested in that. lol) i just do not have it in me to go looking for it, because, as I said, I gave so much of my head & heart to this show and it felt so bad after the finale that I just cannot go down the road of spending conscious waking hours thinking about it again, because it just makes me sad.
#kcfh#ask#anonymous#listen i need to prepare myself for if i ever meet val one day.#first off to act normal#second off to find a natural not-loaded way of asking if she will share What the Hell Happened with pattison#cuz i have heard Some Things. about what went down...#but. yknow. hearsay.#its tough to piece together what may or may not have happened from cast & crew who have spoken on the matter...#and those who have NOT spoken...#fwiw i really doubt it was AMC standing in the way of hypothetical pattison endgame.#AMC is not exactly known for being queerphobic i mean. look at some of their other stuff...#orphan black. killing eve. interview w the vampire. orphan black echoes. probably more thats just from the top of my head#i really really doubt AMC was an issue with that. i think its more likely IF there were obstacles to it then they were probably the opinion#of people working on KCFH itself#also this is besides the point but like#i really doubt she had other networks bidding to make this show#no shade to the show bc i LOVE IT#and the pilot she wrote was AWESOME#but it's a hard sell!#and val being a first time show creator with only a few seasons in a writers room... i would GUESS AMC may have been the first/only offer.#but who knows. maybe her agents are incredible.#maybe there WERE other bids.#either way she achieved the literal fucking dream as a TV writer#selling a cool original pilot you're passionate about and getting to make it + be in the room (even if not as showrunner)#that is something to be super proud of no matter what.#but also in my Parasocial vision™ of her i feel so bad if the real show fell short of her Dreams of Pattison Endgame#so bittersweet (for this fantasy version of a real woman that i've made up in my head)
0 notes