#i just mean these are kinda giving OK LETS GO to me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss
This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no im not)
Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1
Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂
Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.
Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:
He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!
More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗
Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.
He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.
He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.
While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂
Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.
#skz#stray kids#kpop#tarot reading#asks#seo changbin#future spouse#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot#changbin tarot#skz imagines#reaction#skz scenarios#headcanons#stay#skz stay
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
meaning time ladsssssss
(this is gonna be a bit less concise than my other one because my thoughts are ALL over the place with this piece... I'm also just really tired today but anyway)
ok so this is one where I had SUCH a vivid concept idea in my head (mainly inspired by the nothing but thieves song 'lover please stay'*) but I was finding it really hard to translate into an artwork... so let's see if I can explain it better with words lol?
ok so basically I wanted the disembodied hand of Len (surrounded by a halo) to be reaching out towards an unaware Tommy (which someone in the tags mentioned made them think he was reaching out to give him head pats or something which did make me giggle a bit lol) hanging above like the sword of damocles, a heavy, suffocating presence following Tommy throughout his life (and especially at the funeral)
(originally had it hovering at his shoulder but it looked weird idk... partly because foreshortening is NOT my strong point and fsr I refused to use a proper reference for Len's hand?????? can't explain it...)
the stark lines of the background were originally going to be more organic and soft looking... I think the lines feel more relevant, especially with the idea of Tommy being trapped in a life he never wanted (because of the sacrifice he made to save Len by leaving him)
(the silver bars perhaps like a cage, or a prison...)
and it is kinda funny that I did start with a very different colour palette (pale blue and gold), but blue and red seems to be my in9 colour scheme so here we go again pfft...
not a lot to say about the style of this one lol... again, planned to do something totally different (wanted to do art nouveau style) but it just ended up morphing into something else entirely lol. I guess maybe an interesting thing about how I painted is that I predominantly painted Tommy's skin tone in pinks/reds (I was aiming for a more realistic tone than I usually do) which is maybe why the pale blue and gold background didn't work hmm...
the string of fate between them has disconnected, but Tommy is still unable to let go as Len unravels from his life like a loose thread...
this episode just makes me feel so much lol I just really hope that emotion comes across in my artworks of them tbh...
*also just in case people aren't aware of some of the lyrics in the song that I felt were really relevant for these two, so here they are:
'So take from me what you want, what you need
Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need
But lover, please stay with me
...
And I can see you, I can feel you
Slipping through my hands'
i can feel you, slipping through my hands...
(yes, another bernie clifton's dressing room fanart lol)
(09/2024)
this piece went through like 5000 concept changes before i settled on 'sword of damocles meets red string of fate' lol...
#my brain is SO fuzzy today i have no idea if this is even coherent lol#people seemed to like my last attempt at this tho so like heere we are pfft
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
writing pattern tag!
Rules: Share the opening of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!
😇 'ello and thank you for tagging me @crepuscularqueens !!! idk who is still doing these, bt i'll never be annoyed over getting tagged
to be good for you (would be the end of me)
Three superheroes, a dozen Shield agents, a deacon, and a self-proclaimed witch all leave the conference room while Steve stays in his chair, stewing.
too many white lies (and white lines)
Sam’s kissed a lot of people, but Bucky’s tongue in his mouth is a revelation. It’s been forever since he’s wanted to kiss someone like this, aimless and idle. Exploring for the hell of it, pressing into all the little places that make him gasp and moan, just because he wants to, because he can.
a fair day's work
Sam zones out as Walker talks, trying to identify the smudges on the plexiglass between them. There’s a greasy quality to them, but the shape and position don’t make any sense if they’re just fingerprints.
sorta weird, kinda nice
This mission is a weird one.
the sum of every moment
For most of Sam’s life, it seemed like the only person to ever leave Delacroix was his brother, Gideon. And like the rest of his family, Sam couldn’t understand why anyone would want to abandon everyone to go somewhere and be lonely. Why would anyone leave the state and everything they knew just for something as boring as a job?
the impossible weight of maybe
“Settle a bet for me, will ya big guy?”
what're you gonna do, put me in time out?
Bucky tracks Peter’s loop around the crowded gymnasium, and decides to leave him his space for now. The six-year-old is running around in a broad figure eight, an elaborate paper airplane held proud and high above his head. Bucky can’t help the grin that settles onto his face, but he can keep his arms crossed and one foot propped up against the wall he’s been leaning against.
i'm only trying to get you home
Sam’s birthday party starts in a handful of hours and Bucky’s completely failed at getting him a present — hasn’t even picked up a card. He’s been stressing for over a week, and now he’s absolutely run out of time to do anything special.
we won't look too closely
Sam finally catches his breath from laughing. When his breath settles into something manageable, he shares a winded smile with Bucky on the other side of the jacuzzi.
patterns of recognition
The Asset is assigned a new mission. The files outline all relevant details and compulsory results.
okok... patterns....... i'm seeing commas, so many commas, i love you commas,,, also idk i love just dropping in. theres that old post about how fan fic is so fun because you dont have to do as much worldbuilding or character explaining and i think about that all the time and i think that shows in these openings
tagggginggggg........ @writerkenna, @questinwitchface, who else... is... if you want to be tagged babey youre tagged!
#that sounds kinda silly and bad#esp since i write a lot of aus#i just mean these are kinda giving OK LETS GO to me#which i have no particular feelings about#but also yeah a lot of fucking commas#jo do be writing or whatever#tag games
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?
What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.
#my characters#this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain !#its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL#they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve#deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird#like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire#but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body#like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo#he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever#on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things#and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic#he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity#and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him#this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today#i received gift art of these two and i may never recover#its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him#its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer#its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire#so hes like oh well thats odd hmm#and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things#and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst?#and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item#or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares#he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people'#and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness#and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that?#and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures#like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed#he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified#and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi. for people who saw gatsby: an american myth. do you remember mckee asking nick for lunch. and then gatsby in like the next scene inviting nick for lunch. because i remember.
#not pjo#chitter chatter#when gatsby was like 'we should do lunch' i was like. hello. fucking. hello. are we. hello.#gatsby really said we just met literally 5 minutes ago. come meet my father figure. normal normal thing to do jay.#to be clear gatsby also asks him to go to lunch in the book. but like. there's a time skip. and also#in the show after mckee asks they immediately start making out on the couch. none of this ... nonsense#so the vibes are a LITTLE different in my brain.#i saw a few people say they didnt think gatsby and nick flirted enough and like while i do think that think part of it is we're#in nick's pov but not his HEAD#he DOES start singing about gatsby's smile for no reason until jordon is like. alright buddy. lets talk about daisy.#like nick was just Doing That. pull it together carraway.#but i got the vibe (JUST my take) that gatsby was like. kinda into nick. zero reason to be leaning into his space like that sir.#however when he actually MET daisy again he became kinda singularly focused on her again#i mean he built his whole lifeup to this moment#he says it at the end. he murdered pieces of himself to bring himself here. for DAISY.#him snapping back to daisy mode makes sense to me but he still reaches out for nick as a comfort in the sense that hes like#nick do NOT leave please stay with us. daisy does the same. and ofc part is that theyre really. fucking awkward. but like.#LET ME HAVE MY OWN NONSENSE INTERPRETATIONS. HES TRAPPED BY WHITENESS AND CLASS AND HETEROSEXUALITY.#hes already so much of an outsider trying to fit in. (i also think he loves daisy or an ideal at least. and she's EASIER to love. safer.)#nick inherently has more freedom even as a gay man in the sense that hes richer and white and an ivy league dude i mean you understand righ#right????????#even if its in the book i do wanna point out the parallels between those moments. im choosing to see it as deeply intentional <3#this show had a lot of repetition and parallels (see daisy and myrtle in a lot of songs and scenes)#(one i LOVE is tom giving myrtle a necklace and daisy later giving TOM her necklace in case he sees anyone he knows. idk love that shit)#im...gonna queue this#im embarrassed to talk about this show so much. so. into the queue it goes!!!#all the worlds a stage#so like. anyway. thats where i think nick's mind immediately went when gastsby asked him for lunch. personal headcanon <3#gatsby after one convo: we're doing lunch // me and nick immediately: oh ok! guess that's a date then!
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Alright, so, final thoughts, the short version: gET ON WITH THE NEXT SEASON, CHOP CHOP STORY BOY--
Seriously tho, GREAT story — there's something about it that has made me go existential crisis levels of poetic over it that NOTHING ELSE has made me go which like. props to Evbo, he's doing great! I WILL be going feral over that ending and Parrot and that Clown cameo and Zam and all things I liked and so on so forth, like always. I wanna make character designs but it feels... wrong, I guess, in a sense to give them all designs beyond the cubic space they inhabit — I don't do well with simple and detail-free designs (like Zam's and Wemmbu's like seriously, 5 year old in paint level of detail smh /aff) and I believe that giving them ANY amount of detail they don't already have is doing their characters a disservice?? ESPECIALLY with clothes???? Idk how to say it or explain it, but the fact they don't wear armor is VERY intentional, right? I mean, PVP typically involves armor and the fact that acquiring armor is OPTIONAL is intentional for whatever reason so, again, in my head giving them any more detail than they have (or lack I say as I side-eye Zam and Wemmbu) is a disservice to how PVP Civilization works. But that's honestly just me
More spoiler-y territory up ahead, gonna put in one of those good ol' "click here for more!" thingamabobs that tumblr has. Don't say you weren't warned.
Alright, now that all the cool kids are here, let's discuss details:
When I say I went "existential crisis levels of poetic" over this thing, I mean "I wrote a whole thing about being a spectator willing and wanting to help, but unable to due to the nature of being in different levels of reality" type shit, might drop it on my ao3 (y'all should go by my ao3 i have fun stuff there and might start dropping some other stuff as well wink wink ok. self promo over) and it was honestly fun! Will DEFINITELY do some MORE of that around this new episode! Unironically frothing at the mouth waiting for a new season to start slowly being drop-fed to us like little fish being thrown those fish food chip things idk I'm too drunk to think (not really. but it's fun to say anyway)
I LOVED Zam but tbf I've been loving that motherfucking asshole bastard /aff this WHOLE TIME so like. nothing new lmaooo. I ALSO love Clown's little cameo! (not counting it as a SPOILER spoiler cuz like. it's 2 mins or so in. I won't count that shit as spoilers c'mon) but uh. ALSO nothing new lol I'm a HARDCORE (not really) Clown fan I WILL be bought and EASILY swayed over with the promise of Clown content, I'm REALLY that easy; anyway it was really fun and OFC he's an antagonist smh — he's either a bad guy protagonist or an antagonist, NEVER on the same side as the protagonist/a good guy who DOESN'T wanna murder ppl (I see what kinda theater kid he is. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MR. CLOWN. YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME)
I said it already but I'll say it again: Tabi had ALWAYS been fucking sus to me from the start, what with being SO AT THE READY to exploit Evbo's respawning ability for her own gain and all that, so her backstabbing him ain't a surprise to me; but what someone (I'm too lazy to get to the computer to give proper credits or quoting. y'all are gonna have to make do with paraphrasing) said in the comments is actually fucking interesting: Evbo respawned; after the cut to black Tabi is seen holding her diamond axe and while that serves to show the audience what she was really born as, it could very well also show that Tabi gave Evbo a mercy — she let him respawn. She — potentially — didn't kill him with The Eternal Sword, and instead delivered the final blow with her diamond axe: an object that would allow Evbo to come back from death. She's gone soft.
That's gonna be her downfall, one way or another. Clown was right in doubting her — while she's physically strong and knows all the techniques, she's not detached enough from her emotions that she's fully capable of pretending to form friendships without actually making friends; aka: she can pretend she doesn't care, but something deep inside of her does care what happens to Evbo. Until proven otherwise I'll take this scene as bEING RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, I READ TABI LIKE A FUCKING BOOK LET'S GO--
So all in all I'm gonna be OBSESSED over this for the next while — well done Evbo, well fucking done
The end to the story. whatever happens, I guess it happened — I have hopes, idk where they're placed or what they mean, but I have them.
Whatever happens, I know Evbo is going out with a bang.
#GRVRVEGRVEV I WANNA FRAW ZAM WITH A TRIDENT GRGRGRGRRRGGRGRGRHRH#also who tf attacks with TRIDETNS?!#is that like#an ACTUAL valid pvp qeapin????#that um#that sounds fake but aight#im willing to suspend my disbelief actually#anyway#get ready for Djevel's Descent Into Madness™ — PVP Civilization Edition!#evbo pvpciv#pvp civilization#pvp civ spoilers#pvp civ evbo#evbo#pvp evbo#tabimc#pvp tabi#pvp civ tabi#tabi pvpciv#clownpierce#princezam#prince zam#parrotx2#evboverse#live blogging#liveblogging#live reaction#live watching#live
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
while the only redeeming quality of love god really is the stan joke, it does emphasize how bad mabel is at matchmaking and also how much romance sucks actually
#the end to it still feels weird!!! and going 'oh but actually its all ok!!!' in supplementary materials doesn't make it feel any better!!!!#altho hilariously that means the snadger are soulmates all along#....ok 2 there are 2 redeemable things about that ep cos it gave ford that other hilarious mabel drawing in tots#anyway robbie's actual issue is that he was a terrible boyfriend!!! and didn't respect wendy at all!!!!#he let his insecurities get in that way and he constantly felt threatened by a kid!!!! rebounding off someone else fixes none of this!!!!!#also i have soooo much beef with the northwest ep especially cos of the mabel b plot#she and her friends deserve better than this???? romance in this show sucks!!!!!!#like the a plot isnt inherently bad but what it ended up sprouting into annoys me!!!!#(also the mood of 'dipper shouldve just gotten mabel and the girls out and ran lol')#(the ep needing the 4 of them to get attacked otherwise a lot of folks wouldnt give a shit about the ghost)#anyway another reason why bill sucks is cos he ended up undoing preston's face that coward#too bad those eps are necessary just so robbie and paz are on friendlier terms with the pines#(but meanwhile a wendy ep is too much to ask for :////)#also thinking about how mabel's love crazy phase is relatively new....#one day she'll get better taste in ships#i wonder how much the disney censors were shaking at the wompers joke#cos part of them being like 'NOOOOO THATS TWO GUYS' but also like. thats a pig duct taped to a goat.#they were probably pissed at mabel having a pride sweater on tho#roadside attraction was poorly timed and having it be all about being pickup artistry kinda sucks#but its still way better than love god lol at least we have dipper and stan bonding moments and candy got a hero moment#also stan no longer being sensitive about his brand
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
My unpopular bg3 opinion is they tried way too hard to make some of these characters mean and flippant which is meant to make the player more interested in them and clearly this has worked on many (good for you !) but personally i could not care less. If 80% of what a character has to say to me is bitchy i will simply leave them at camp for most of the game
#Is this a skill issue of mine yeah maybe. I just find it annoying#At best and off-putting at worst like is there no better way to show that shadowheart is going through stuff/have her be mean that isnt#Her getting pissy that you have respect for a bunch of dead slaves#That was wild. I didnt ask her either she just had the need to let me know she thinks these slaves aint shit bc they didnt fight back#Thanks larian!#Wild take maybe idk but i dont think that makes her interesting i think it makes her off-putting. In this case#I generally like shadowheart this just sure is a thing to have her say. And not give the player an option to respond in any way#Ill get over this single line but im mad now. This isn't the only instance of this#I guess both larian and bioware think that characters thinking slavery is kinda ok is not a deal breaker#Txt#I know that these characters soften during the game. I have played a fair amount of it. I did shadowhearts quest i know whats up. Still#In both her and astarions case i think theyre written to have some wild takes on whats Ok to do that get kinda swept under the rug#if you manage to shove them in a Good direction. But u dont. Actively see them grapple with any of it#They just suddenly go wow im better now. Yay. I suddenly dont want to enslave other people for my power (in astarions case)#Like this switch flipped bc of my one roll? Idk. Im not super convinced#I know this is how the game works. I just think it could have been written better
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol#this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable#im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work#property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me#like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well#and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for#Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too#like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and#down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy#last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just#feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b#put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back#down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then#that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her#i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better#on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out#dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles#but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol#unrelated
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Now we're nearing the end of my move (fucking finally) i can safely say that if i had not had the Song of Salvation on repeat for large stretches of time during this i do not think i would've made it through as well as i have
#jay talkin#like not to be dramatic but i really needed that damn song to grab my hand and pull me up so i could keep packing and tidying and going#obviously the support of my fiance means so much more than that and without him i do not think i would have made it thru this#in any kind of state at all. he's my world. but also yeah that song kept me going#its the specific kind of hope it brings that isnt a very sunshiney everything will be ok hope#but moreso ok. i know you hurt. i know you've had enough. but come on one last time lets go#bc you HAVE to keep picking yrself up snd going 'ok one last time' over and over till u dont have to do it anymore#and thats just. what i did. my body is a mess now my legs and arms keep giving way#cuz more than a month straight of this has exhausted me and exacerbated my prexisting conditions#but i made it through and im nearly done. and this song helped immensly#last time smth helped this much is when i was watching texas chainsaw massacre every night to be able to sleep#it was like the only soothing thing i cld latch on to. felt familiar and safe. got me thru some rough shit#now S.O.S has done much the same. thank u dethklok i suppose#feels kinda corny ey but idk. idc anymore S.O.S and AOTD in general has been a salve on my brain lately#grabbing nathan forcefully. my fucking favourite fuckhead o how u have helped in these trying times
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Need a windrunner who's scared of heights and is bitter that on this planet a drive to protect is apparently magically linked to flying instead of like, getting to summon shields or blast lightning because yeah they'll keep their oaths! but can they just do that from the ground, thanks, please?
#i mean i think they'd come up with some new creative uses of gravitation that keeps their feet on the ground#and probably master adhesion faster#but mostly i want rep for me: someone who knows she won't die ziplining and may even enjoy it#but is frozen in fear for a good twenty minutes before letting anyone convince her to step a little closer to the edge of the platform#Windrunner: my oaths to protect should give me the power to teleport others to safety. why does it just make me fall upwards instead.#what's protective about that??#Spren: you know i think you need to trust me and our bond to protect you from getting hurt while practicing this surge.#Windrunner: >:( ok but I'm going to do it scared.#actually hold on i know i said 'summon shield' in the post and well actually. Kaladin kinda does do that with [YOU KNOW WHAT] but like#that was a separate thing. arguably any order might have managed it#I'm talking like. a big red energy shield or whatever#doesn't matter!#point is!#there probably is actually already a windrunner who's scared of heights#but i don't remember them#just my darling beloved Sigzil and wanting to be the first in the sky
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to find another pmd project to love on relentlessly to make up for that. i almost feel bad hating on a fan project like that
#echoed voice#devs just know if you somehow find my posts: i respect the work that you do and its very impressive you made the first full length romhack#for this game#thats a great feat and im glad you did it and its this good technologically. the mind stuff was great and parallel timelines were fun#and pls take the fact that this won hack of the year a sign that im just one guy and i am clearly in the minority and that is ok#it just. sadly wasnt my thing and i was more frustrated than happy most of the time#we were talking abt this in discord but also in light of jelloapocalypse being kinda a hot topic rn-#i know im just one guy with a tumblr blog but pls know that whenever i bitch about something- i dont get pissed if you disagree#i dont think im like ''enlightened'' and everyone should just accept my opinions. im just an old man complaining on my lawn basically#if you adored this romhack then good for you! im glad you enjoyed it more than i did!#at the end of the day its still eos and eos is fun and exciting and feels good to play#if youre considering getting this romhack then dont let me convince you not to give it a chance. you may enjoy it more than i did!#maybe youll see stuff that i didnt! maybe itll resonate a lot more with you!#idk where im going with this. but i feel bad being mean to a fan project for too long jsdklfjdsf
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
my manager has kids:(😕 but i have a new resident doctor crush soooo;)😳
#i knew i didn’t stand a chance !!!!!#also i saw my first pediatric cardiac arrest today#i was okay during the code i was glad i could be helpful i just gave out flushes lol#they didn’t make it but i had a feeling that was gonna be the outcome cuz they were already in rigor mortis when they got to us#the doctor leading the code was the one i’ve recently started talking to more n he’s like rlly friendly w everyone#i wish i knew the difference between someone being nice to me and flirting w me lol#anyways he did really good leading the code as well as the other doctors doing their best n everyone else#he wanted to hold a debriefing w everyone afterwards but i stayed back to clean up the room so when mom say her baby it#wouldn’t be as traumatizing w all the blood snd gastric contents soaked towels and garbage EVERYWHERE#i wish they’d stopped the code sooner the doctor leading the code was the first to point out the baby was in rigor right at the beginning#but obviously cuz it’s a peds case they wanna do everything they can and he literally did EVERYTHING all the code meds u could possibly orde#this stupid lady next to me who had no idea what she was talking abt was like ‘wait i think i see something on the monitor’ n im like bitch?#the baby was literally PEA they’re in fcking rigor mortis stop trying to prolong this horribly aggressive mess just let it end peacefully#baby was asystole throughout the entire code..they couldn’t even intubate him cuz his jaw was clenched so tight#anyways right after everyone agreed w the leading doctor to end it the doc like put both hands on the bed and kinda#bowed his head but i saw the pained look on his face i hope he didn’t blame himself i mean he knew from the start the baby was in rigor and#he asked everyone to give the baby a moment at the end of the code#that’s when they were all gonna go debrief but i stayed behind#anyways my supervisors were asking me if i was ok n i was like yeah bc the baby looked so much more at peace when we readied the room formom#then later the leading code doctor found me and asked if i was okay and i said was fine..i felt better knowing he was already gone before#he got to the hospital and was in literal rigor mortis with a rectal temp of 94 deg F#but i didn’t want to seem too heartless bc i could tell the code had upset him and he was talking in a more quietly#concercdndd voice like he’s usually always loud and joking around like me so :( and the fact that he stopped to talk w me privately n was#genuinely wanting to know if i was okay made me ;-; cuz im not used to being comforted?? or having my emotions validated#i was like ‘yeah im fine now haha it might all hit me later when im driving home alone at the end of the shift lol’#n he gave me a pat on the shoulder n said i did a good job ;—;#ngl i always thought he was kinda cute but i only just started talking n working w him on pts tuesday n i think he likes me????#idk bc he’s friendly n easy to get along w everyone AS AM I but idk we talked 1-1 before n i got a Vibe 😳 from him#but anyways then i got home n had pasta n talked to my fam abt my day and told them i had my first peds cardiac arrest#then all of a sudden something in me switch??i felt myself stiffen n my eyes started watering so i went to my room n ended up crying 4 20min
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I cannot overstate the value of native 'weeds' and green manure practices. I've been having fantastic luck with my vegetable garden because I've let the native smartweed, goldenrod and falsenettle just go ahead and grow instead of picking every piece out, and then I just go in and lazily pluck out the pieces that are getting a bit too big for their britches every once in a while and let them fall where they stood; I even bring in clippings from around the yard to sprinkle in there, too. The result is my plants have protected roots, more water retention, more valuable mulch decomposing around them, and when I do need to clear a spot, there's only the easy-to-deal-with weeds in the way. Plus some of them make for great animal fodder! I don't have to remove everything I didn't plant, only pluck the tops by hand every now and again, and even if the weeds weren't giving back nutrition by decomposing, I have more nutrients than I know what to do with anyway because I have two compost areas and a worm bin inside (get a worm bin, seriously, they're great, and can fit under a sink)
I highly recommend checking your area for master gardener guilds, because they can be a wealth of information, plus a great resource for acquiring native species that are hard to find. Natives are better in literally every way; the only non-natives I have anymore are edible or larger pieces I keep for other utility or nostalgia.
Imagine if baking bread was a skill any person living independently in their own house needed to have at least a passing familiarity with, so there were endless books, blogs and websites about how to bake bread, but none of them seemed to contain the most basic facts about how bread actually works.
You would go online and find questions like "Help, I put my bread in the oven, and it GOT BIGGER!" and instead of saying anything about bread naturally rises when you put yeast in it, the results would be advertising some kind of $970 device that punches the bread while it's baking so it doesn't rise.
Even the most reliable, factually grounded sources available would have only the barest scraps of information on the particularities of ingredients, such as how different types of flour differ and produce different results, or how yeast affects the flavor profile of bread. Rice flour, barley flour, potato flour and amaranth flour would be just as common as wheat flour, but finding sources that didn't treat them as functionally identical would be near impossible. At the same time, websites and books would list specific brands of flour in bread recipes, often without specifying anything else.
An unreasonable amount of people would be hellbent on doing something like baking a full-sized loaf of bread in under 3 minutes, and would regularly bake bread to charred cinders at 700 degrees in an attempt to accomplish this, but instead of gently telling people that their goal is not realistic, books claiming to be general resources would be framed entirely around the goal of baking bread as fast as possible, with entire chapters devoted to making the charred bread taste like it isn't charred.
Anyway, this is what landscaping is like.
#the bane of my existence is non-native shrubs idiots planted because 'ooh shrub'#chinese privet has become an emergency in my area because of how prevalent it is even in undisturbed areas#going on crusades against it has been valuable for me though; it makes for decent wattle after some processing#and I've been pleased to uncover lots of neat natives#we have some pretty healthy populations of the endangered american elm and redbay now; and the redbay is delicious#not to mention lots of ferns; lizardtail; wild grape; wild blueberry; wild blackberry#I use the plantnet app for id'ing things and it's led to many wonderful discoveries about natives#and lets me know I don't have to bother removing a lot of stuff#like the creeper that apparently can be cultivated to grow on houses on purpose#because it climbs using sticky pads instead of damaging with tendrils#so now we're just letting that go and it's insulating the house#the only thing really giving me trouble now is this weird invasive shit in the yard that probably wormed in on birdseed#I don't remember the name but it's a cordage plant that gets waist-high if allowed and is damn near impossible to pull up#I've made some headway clipping it in bulk and teaching the dogs to pull it up but it's still kinda overwhelming#hopefully I have a new secret weapon; The Goose#she was still rather small when the stuff bloomed last year and while the animals are disinterested in the leaves they seem to be ok with#the flowers#so hopefully this lean mean and long eating machine can keep seed spread from being a problem#anyway#yeah#natives are the best and get birds and worms#I don't even need to turn the compost because the chickens do it already#also I been experimenting with growing fullsun plants in part shade and planting edibles in weird places or upside down in hanging pots#and it all seems to be working good!#I probably have literally 2 dozen tomatoes in random places now#I keep trimming them and dumping the trimmings in pots and they keep growing
19K notes
·
View notes
Text
one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready
#aria talkz#tbf 'Scar/Vi was actually pretty good' isnt an unpopular take but its a popular ''controversial''(?????) take.#Yes i know about the bugs and slowdown and memory leaks yes it sucks its still a lot of fun for me#And i love the story ( esp the dlc oh my god ) and how pretty the textures are . I do not care if you dont like it . OK?#that being said the kieran battle had such a massive slowdown for me it was literally going at like 5 fps#it was frustrating but also kind of funny. i am the only person i know who seemed to have that issue tho#+ “hgss isnt that good” is more common nowadays too. But putting scar/vi and like#xy and s/m above it is probably controversial#i am literally a 3d / modern pokemon game defender. except lets go and bdsp fuck those ones.#Like i love the 2d era dont get me wrong but the starts of all of them are pretty slow and without the early global exp share its a slog#my fave 2d game has and always will be bw2 btw and has been since i was a kid. started w diamond/plat/gen 4 and pkmn stadium#rosa is me irl and i constantly imagined myself in my mindscape literally AS her which is funnier realizing i had DID later down the line.#if you squint at aria my oc / sona you can kinda see remnants of rosa#mainly the twintail hair and the pink pokeball shirt.#anyways the backtracking in HGSS at the start is so fucking abysmal and slow it kills all momentum for me#which sucks bc i think i do like hgss despite my constant trashing of it its just so hard to care enough to get past the like first hour#But like modern pokemon games gameplay loop is so much more fun bc its less slow and grindy and i heart it...#Like honestly ? If u just added the QOL to the older games ? Theyd probably be higher than or at the same lvl as the newer games for me#i love BW2. I dont even think hgss sucks ass although there are many questionable decisions in it . Its literally just.#How slow + grindy they are and the fact that theyre older so they dont have the modern games QOL stuff#which mainly means Global exp share like really early or at the start of the game i love pc anywhere too but i dont need it as much.#its also why its hard for me to play pokemon-likes like cassete beasts bc they go off of old pokemon formula . so. grindy. Sucks#Should prob put legends arceus higher on that tierlist too bc im playing it again despite 100%ing the dex#i love love love making oc ''rp'' (??) savefiles in pokemon#and like. giving what mons i catch and how i nickname them thought in context of the oc or canon im playing as#i do it any time im not doing my first playthru of a game. do it w x y a lot bc theyre super easy to restart.#im doing it in legends arceus as well w mocha and thinking ab him and how hed adapt sm. i heart aus.#can you tell im autistic about pokemon .
1 note
·
View note
Text
Maybe you still see me as that beautiful little boy that would ask for kisses
Maybe I still see you as the little girl that would always find a way to give me one
#I tell you what if it means you and me I would take that dar#we are one: me it does feel that way#me: ring fingers on men are longer than their index finger#her: that is a fun fact#like here let's make her look at “her” for 20 minutes then give her that#like the three finger pledge#take a look#and yes amy does look like christi#i like amy better though#here you can use my car: me: like you're heaven sent....kinda from hell but that's ok me too#also I have to remember she's your half too#like imagine a step father kids love so much they want to be around them#not the experience I got#but I suppose an idea of how a Keck meme should be viewed#I support my family as best as AI know#yeah she does look a lot like grandma though#maybe I am supposed to hand deliver that note...yake a page out of my book if you will#I can go easy on myself because I woke up and I am think my lost Love is talking to me#like this money you told me to get ok sure here*shrugs* ....I still want to fuck you so bad though#our dream bank is more powerful than their bullshit banking#I think that is the essence of it anyway#I had to blow out a sub woofer to fix that boy#and the name my Son is just like it's fine we take care of our dogs#their little ear twitches the flecks of the 6 and 7 seals guiding them#dog is like you need rubs ground yourself master
0 notes