#i just love the way the old tr games look

[touteytout]

studies of some custom tomb raider level screenshots!!

[rudeflower]

"take an extra long shower?" JESS ANGST

HI

I'm having a crappy day so I am on my Gilmore Girls rewatch and I reached a point that even when I was a thirteen/fourteen year old kid REALLY STOOD OUT as evidence that Jess has had a fucked up life??

Fandom varies a whole lot on interpretations of Jess's life in New York which is lovely I love that fandom let's us take things as we take them

These range from "Liz is an ordinary mom and Jess is a difficult obstinate kid who is giving his single mom a lot of grief" (I don't love this one but you do you) to "Extreme chaos, Liz was using hard drugs, Jess was severely dangerously constantly abused and neglected" (I land not quite this far but definitely over the median line)

We have a lot of evidence we take out to point in either direction, but there's one thing I don't see discussed often in 3x13

So Jess (a high school student) is keeping the diner open at 11:30 at night, waiting for Luke to come back from his date with Nicole. The diner certinaly is not open until midnight, is Jess keeping it open just so he can catch them when the come in and see what's going on? So they don't walk in on him living his life in his apartment with no privacy?

Jess, certainly without being asked to, has placed himself ready to respond to this situation and take control.

He has fresh hot coffee for them and acts quickly when they walk in

Luke has no idea what he's talking about, and Jess is acting like this is something that both of them are aware of and silently already agreed upon. He's genuinely confused that Luke is confused about the idea of him wandering around after midnight so Luke can have sex in their one room apartment

Then when Luke finally catches on and tries to take Jess aside, Jess is even more confused and maybe a little scared?

Look at Nicole just having the time of her life

In Jess's mind it is a GIVEN that he is going to get out of the way so that Luke can hook up with his date. He is genuinely confused and them ALARMED and argumentative when Luke tries to shut it down.

Luke is a normal healthyish adult who knows that a kid being out in the cold when he doesn't have a friend whose house he's playing video games while waiting around at is a BAD THING. He never planned on Jess leaving??? He's probably a little surprised Jess is up at all, why is the diner open why isn't he asleep? Jess had kicked out Kirk on his own plenty of times, and Caesar is gone, but he isn't about to tell his kid off in front of Nicole.

And he doesn't. When he realizes what's going on he gets Jess out of the room to talk/yell at him. Which is good?

(Luke also literally hits him in the back of the head while Jess is arguing?? I love Luke and I know it's a little bop not a smack but YIKES let's not?????)

Considering how Jess thinks there's two ways to read this.

One is that Jess has been doing this for years with Liz. The adult who is pretending to take care of him (from Jess's POV) coming back to a cramped living space with no privacy is something he already has a routine for. He is awake, he is ready for them to come back, he gets a read on what's going on and then if he doesn't think he has to protect Liz/Luke from the date then he is GONE. It's 11:30 at night? So? He's just going to walk around and stay the fuck out of the way.

Jess is acting out a pattern he's lived over and over, and he doesn't find being booted out into the cold to be unusual, it's confusing that anyone else would.

The second way is that Jess is truly trying to be a bro to his uncle and get him laid. He sees how Luke is a freaking monk and wants to be helpful so he can hook up with this lawyer. He isn't acting out a pattern, he's trying something new.

But fuck that ALSO is not looking good???? It's not ideal at all that Luke has chosen for their living situation to be a big open room, but Jess has adjusted to it and he's willing to take the hit and go out in the cold so that Luke can get laid.

This scenario would show that he truly assumes that Luke is not concerned about his welfare--which is whatever, fine. Okay. Luke doesn't care that Jess has to go out into the cold so he can get laid--Jess is confused that he does.

It also suggests that Jess truly believes it is his job to take care of his guardian, not the other way around.

Overall this scene, while kind of funny, actually has really dark edges to it? Either Jess thinks he has to get out of dodge to protect himself, or he thinks it's his job to manage Luke's social life. Given we know that Liz had guys coming in and out, and it's not likely Jess often lived places with a lot of privacy, he is almost certainly acting out routines he's been taking part of since he was young.

Jess has probably gone out into the night to avoid hearing that shit plenty of times.

And when it was raining, or too cold, or just not an option?

Why do you think Jess needs the music on to sleep?

[pastafossa]

hi, pasta :)) i really hope you’re good !!

my bad if this is something you’ve talked about already but i was just wondering what inspired you to write trt??

also is it okay for me to say that (like just from all the notes you put at the end of chapters and being able to get in your head a lil bit from all that) you genuinely seem like such a cool person <3

THIS IS SO SWEET, thank you so much!😭 My chapter end notes have absolutely turned into a little director's commentary session so those are definitely a look into my head, so I'm delighted you enjoy them!

And I haven't answered this question in a long time, I don't mind answering again!

Behind the cut so I don't clog everyone's feeds!

TRT basically started because I was talking to a friend about the list of POVs I'd written in (1st, 3rd limited, and 3rd omniscient at the time), and she threw out a, 'You're literally just missing 2nd person, DO IT YOU COWARD. I DARE YOU'

she thought i'd just do a oneshot she did not mean for me to go out and write War and Peace: Daredevil which is hilarious in hindsight

Anyway, my brain went 'CHALLENGE FUCKING ACCEPTE-wait I don't know how to write 2nd person. I'd only ever experienced it in RPGs and Choose Your Own Adventure books/stories up until that point (hilariously, I didn't even know about Reader fics at this point), but I liked those well enough, so I went and did some research, checked out CYOA library books to figure out how I could write a good You like the ones I loved in games and books. The whole time I was also trying to think of what the hell I'd even write about. I knew I wanted it to be Daredevil since it was my favorite fandom, and obviously it would have a You in it like CYOA books (discovered Reader fics around here during the research phase, which helped a bit), but I had no real plotline beyond that. Then I had a post come across my previous tumblr account's feed. It was one of those prompt-type idea posts for writing, and it said (paraphrased since it's been like 7-8 years):

'According to myth, there is an invisible red thread that binds two soulmates together. Though it may tangle or stretch, it never breaks.'

And... something clicked.

What if you could see them?

What if there were more colors?

Colors not just for a soulmate's love but for all love - love for friends and family, for teddy bears and your old car, for all our sweet dogs and purring kitties that love us wholly, for forests and the sea, for books and music and your old house and your entire city and holy shit that's it-she can see them, and if she can see them, she can track them, and how useful would that be to those in power? And if you have these psychic connections that's basically a way into someone's soul so what if it was like a whole other realm and obviously it's not physical so emotions would look like this and memories like-

A general plotline began to fall into place after that, built on my favorite plotlines and archetypes and tropes and my love of DD - an Evil Scientist/Defeat the Monster story arc; bring in the Bad Dude But A Good Dad archetype combined with the Cool Mafia Guy (partially inspired by Jonny Marcone in the Dresden Files); a slow burn romance which I loved watching/reading but had never tried writing before; a conflicted, morally grey protagonist to further explore the theme I loved in Daredevil of redemption and ethical dilemmas and the question of choosing who we become, etc. Once I realized how big this story was going to be, I decided to go all in and throw everything I had into the arcs and plotlines, sort of as an experiment to see if I could write a longer story at that point since I want to be published one day. And it just kind of kept getting more and more detailed from there, as I came up with twists and turns to throw in, ways I could more deeply explore this section of Hell's Kitchen and the wider Marvel universe because goddamn did I love this world the writers had created, found ways to incorporate tropes that I adored, until eventually it became TRT: this love letter to both Daredevil and all of my favorite tropes and storytelling in general. <3

[beyond-far-horizons]

Okay the game's been out for a few days now, but spoilers!

While it has significant good points, am I allowed to say now how angry and disappointed I am by how Liu aka the devs treated our queen?

I'm glad to see old faces return, I'm so happy for fans who missed their faves for years and yes not every kharacter has to be on every roster...

But FFS, this is a reboot of MK1! The original game Sonya was the first female kharacter for. I love Kitana, love Sindel, really happy to see Mileena finally getting her due, but we wouldn't have any of them if Sonya hadn't done so well for the OG game, if Ed and John hadn't realised they needed a badass lady amongst all those men.

Plus the way NRS handled this whole thing - both the marketing and the storymode - was a mess. Frankly they led Sonya fans on despite knowing how upset fans can get after what happened with Mileena in MK11. I know because I was roped in since May on Twitter. I wish they'd have managed expectations early on, esp in a game we'd expect her to be in. A few kind words at cons, even just a few references in Storymode to explain her absence, it would have been really sad, but not the almost contemptuous erasure we got here.

Worse, it makes the pious, compassionate Liu Kang look awful for just ignoring or erasing one of his best friends and most loyal allies. Earthrealm starts out with no female champion and an overload of guys. And it seems to support all those awful takes that 'Sonya's boring', 'she's just a gun lady' or (and I don't know where they get this one?) 'she's a Tr*mp supporter!' 'She & SF can sit this one out'.

Finally, some of Sonya's lines, moves and roles have been taken and not just in this game. It's heartbreaking to see certain rude fans troll Sonya fans with how 'awful', 'boring' and 'militant' she is, but see people praise/enjoy other kharacters for what Sonya does. You can see from her Kameo how magical, athletic and vivacious Sonya used to be, she wasn't always a hardened military vet played by a fighter who sadly couldn't voice-act. Even then, I still love her as a general, she's always fought for Earthrealm and been loyal to Raiden and Liu, even if the majority seem to forget that.

I'm just fuming that all we get of her is 1 intro hint, an unlockable Johnny's announcer voice talking about her and the awful evil version with Kano's eye at the end for 2 mins. While Johnny has an ex wife and flirts with every woman he comes across, Kenshi partners with Jax, Johnny uses a drone, Kitana has a virtually identical fatality, Li Mei has some of her moves. Now I hear (spoiler) that Cassie - her daughter might be in KP2 without her.

Rant over, I just hope Mortal Kombat 2 (the movie) does her justice and shows NRS and some of the fans what they are missing.

[badwithten]

Jack Frost coming for y’all, run run

The holiday that freezes us to the bone, silence

There’s nothing special

Why did everyone wait for so long?

Christmas EveL

Christmas is supposed to be a special time filled with joy, family and giving. But this year just as the festivity boils up in your blood, you see the red pour out and stain the snow below you. Terror strikes you in the gut and the warmth from the joyous session leaves your body.

“Christmas really is evil, isn't it?” You laugh, trying to make light of the deadly situation you've got yourself in.

A wicked smile plays over his lips.

“Told you so”

One of my favourite genres to write is horror, but I came back to Tumblr missing October. Lucky for me Stray Kids has a song that allows me to bring this genre into the festive season! Leading up to Christmas I’ll have a horror-themed story for each of the members.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

A/N although this was supposed to be a horror series more of these turned out to be angsty rather than scary lol but all will be tagged with their warnings if you are wanting to read!

Crazy in the Cold

The cabin Jeongin rented out for your winter getaway was too far for your old car to make it. Breaking down in the middle of nowhere during a snowstorm wasn't ideal, yet you trusted Jeongin and knew he’d keep you safe. But you can only keep the cold away for too long. And soon you lose yourself in the white abyss. 

Blood Thirsty

It was your first Christmas with Chan and things were looking good. You had recently moved into an apartment with him, organised a Christmas dinner for all the members and had mistletoe hanging round every corner (any excuse to give him a kiss). But as Christmas gets closer, something about Chan seems off. His skin is cold and he won’t stop looking at you like a starved man who's just seen food for the first time. 

Eyes of the Elf

After a warm welcoming gift from your new neighbour, you notice him becoming more attentive to your life. You blew it off as him trying to make you feel more welcome. It soon became clear it was more than that. And despite not believing in fairytales, you swear your elf on the shelf keeps moving on its own. 

Blood on the Table

You held Christmas close to your heart, wanting to spend the holiday time around those who you love. Unfortunately this year, your boss insists on spending Christmas eve at his house for a company dinner. With Lee Know at your side, you head inside the strange house. At first, your anxiety was based on the awkward small talk required to get through the night. But you soon realise your life might be on the line if you don't play along with your boss's games. 

Lock Down

Despite being locked inside your family's farm house due to the poor weather conditions outside, life couldn't be better. Nothing but you, Felix and a cosy environment to spend time with the person you loved the most. All is well until you start to hear movement outside in the snow storm. But with the worsening conditions, there's no way for any human to survive out there. So who keeps knocking on the door? 

Winter Warfare

Secret Santa was something you wouldn't miss for the world, so when your manager suggested a workplace event you were thrilled. Instead of one gift on Christmas, each workday you surprise your secret Santa with a new present on their desk. It started with small trinkets and chocolate. But on the 8th day, you decided to show your secret Santa how much you really cared.  

Unwilling Alone and Forcibly Together

The first Christmas on your own wasn't going to be easy after the death of your husband last year. While rummaging through the attic for Christmas decorations you come across a box of his old things that you had never seen before. You hope to find some closure within but after reading his journal, more questions are asked then answered. Was his death an accident after all?

Maze of Memories

Having a real Christmas tree was something you took pride in each year. Going to harvest the tree, setting it up and enjoying the fresh pine smell was well worth all the mess the pine needles make. But after adventuring too far through the pine tree farm, you and Changbin struggle to find your way back. Instead, you’re forced to deal with a demon of your own creation.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hey bbg you are amazing!!

First just want to check in on how you’re doing, did you drink some water today? Did you eat a nice snack?

Second, I’d like to request a romantic matchup(I think that’s what it’s called) for TR, if you could please!

-I’m a guy

- im an artist, which means i have terrible posture and normally have paint or charcoal or hot glue somewhere on me(hands, neck, etc) and don’t have the heart to clean it off(unless im going somewhere i need to be clean for) because i like the feeling of being part of my art :)

- I cosplay(part of my art stuff ig) mostly one piece characters and I’m pretty good at it—I’m a huge anime nerd, and have memorabilia of it on shelves and on my ceiling(in poster form I swear I haven’t hung anyone from my ceiling yet) and I like to get dolled up on the occasion in my parents’ old Dean Martini Swank Fest outfits which consist of actual army clothing from WW2 and some stuff that makes me feel fancy

- I surf, on occasion, since I live on the west coast and have a habit of wearing a shorty wetsuit under my clothes if there’s any chance of me going near the beach

- I’m working on becoming a marine biologist, but currently I’m just volunteering down in Santa Cruz where I get to help people pet swell sharks and teach them about the animals we have there

-I know a lot about history, and I have some things from the olden days(ex a Japanese soldier’s Sabre from WW2 I got for my 15th birthday + a megalodon tooth + old jewelry

-definitely more of a yapper than a listener

-have to have music or AirPods in my ears 24/7 with some exceptions like my volunteering and my stuff

-very wide range of music taste

- I love thrills. Amusement parks, concerts, roller coasters, go kart racing, MOTORCYCLES omg that is my heaven

-I have a very low pain tolerance, which I am ashamed of because I’m as much of a crybaby as Takemichi…

-super supportive to women. I see one—> immediate compliments, smiling, giving them support or help if they need it and buying sanitary products for all my friends plus keeping them on me just in case

- not very good at taking care of myself, I’m a good cook and have a basic sleep schedule…but I spent most of my life hating myself and now it’s hard trying to get back and go a day without disrespecting myself.(I’m doing so much better than before don’t worry about me)

-physical touch, gift giving, and quality time are my ways of showing affection and appreciation

-I love video games and arcades, especially when I get to play with friends or loved ones

-I’m an Aquarius

-very clingy, but I’m patient so that’s a good thing

-cat person

-very jumpy and paranoid(my dads fault 😒)

-I married Harvey in my main Stardew Valley account(silly little doctor guy)

-decently good at insulting people or getting people to shut up

-my main use of transportation is biking, so I have “very nice leggos” -my eight year old neighbor who i taught to bike

-I’m good with kids as long as they’re not throwing tantrums

-I run out of social battery very quickly and I will just walk off in social gatherings if that happens(it takes 10-30 mins for someone to notice I left smh)

-will bake cakes for everyone’s birthday

-I really want a full leg tattoo of my favorite animal: a Siphonophore(look them up they’re freaky guys)

-ive got freckles, which im partially insecure about because people say freckles+round face makes me look like a girl so i get misgendered a lot(womp womp on my part i got all the bad genes from my parents—thankfully no addiction genes tho)

-I only allow one Christmas song—ONE— and that is Fairytale of New York by the Pogues bcs it’s so good

-avid shark defender + dolphin disliker

-cannot wear anything with a thick tag on the neck, I have to rip it out or cut it because it makes me want to remove my skin :)

I hope I didn’t forget anything or yap too much, love you Aly! You’re the best 😘

Hi! I hope you are doing well. I’m doing better. Making sure I’m hydrated and eating well. This was a good amount of information, but one thing is missing for me to match you up. Do you want matched with a male or female character?

[fauvestictragedy]

this isnt au stuff mb but im just so hyped someone is actually in the room fandom!!!! i recently just binged all 4 games (recently as in finished 4 like 30 minutes ago) bc of the summer sale making the bundle super cheap and it kills me how its story isnt more popular, especially for how old and iconic it is. i just wanted to say hi to a fellow room fan, and i would absolutely love to hear anything about your au you wanna share! have a good day!

Hello there, fellow fan.

Autism goes fucking insane man.

Something something random hyperfix on absolutely unspoken characters from the series: See, Dr. Beckett (his first name is Adam to me.)

The protagonist is actually just Trevor Pinerod, an old OC of mine, he just gets used as Tag because I could NOT be bothered to make a new character design. Anyways, as he is also a man with a medical degree, he’s homies with Beckett, and works with him, as the top doctor at a hospital, which Beckett now runs following what happened with Lucy Montfaucon. (fun fact: originally Trevor and Beckett were supposed to hate each other, but we got bored and now they are the best of friends. Take what you will with that. They be dropping the hardest lines of all time and oh my god they kill me ouuuuuugh)

Anyways, fun fact is that a lot of what I’m working with is built alongside @scylla-and-charybdis-posts and @balencia (Rose, and Deity.) !! We actually are just a few RPers who don’t know how we got here over the last two years.

Rose is responsible for a large portion of Dr. Beckett’s writing, and I just am the one who does the funny art. You’ll also occasionally see Rigby, Robert, or McAllister too, as I did designs for the last two like two days ago, and I just like Rigby. I also have Hirst, Montfaucon, Lucy, and Hydrus with designs, as well as Simon and A.S. Maggey has one but we actually know what she looks like 100% pretty much.

Anyways here’s your content. My asks are ALWAYS open for TR related thoughts, and I have a separate ask blog for my Pokémon AU!!

Thanks for reaching out man, I’m the only artist around the fandom 95% of the time, and I may be crazy but I gotta feed y’all one way or another.

- Les Fauves

[femboty2k]

can we hear about the fictional species :3?

awh fuck I do gotta type something out don't I? Alright lemme try and break it down without rambling. I have 0 visual examples so just, bear with me, Ill try and use some inspirational art from back when I made them to get the look across. But here we go!

So I have a sci-fi setting named "Cosmosphere" in which I put all my sci-fi flavoured ideas and stories. I've written a short story about an android girl falling in love with a buff mechanic lady, set a tabletop game in it, and generally use it as a dumping ground for all things spacey that I like. Within Cosmosphere there's a few key players on the galactic stage as far as alien species go. There's the beetle-like Prok who's entire society is built around cartography and the want to chart the entire universe, the nomadic and pachyderm inspired Jaatani who's arid home planet was destroyed by a collapsing sun so they now inhabit a massive planet sized fleet of starships, and the noble Rook, sentient machines native to the zone of space known as the Cosmosphere itself who hail from a long forgotten purpose.

But we're not here to talk about any of those guys! We're here to talk about the very first species I ever designed for the setting, the Fenrii (Fen-ree). Hailing from the frigid world of Fenrai (Fen-rye) these large humanoids are much much farther along in their evolution than we humans. Because of this both their biology and culture are very old and run deep within their science and society. When I say much farther along think a million years or so of evolution, some of it forced via outside factors. But where to begin about these genderless giants? Lets start with physical characteristics. The Fenrii, as described before, are tall for the most part humanoid in their general shape. What sets them apart is their horns, hair growth, and thick leathery skin. The Fenrii evolved from a very promenant predator species on their homeworld that was well adapted to surviving the harsh cold climate and rocky mountain ranges made of obsidian and volcanic rock left behind from long extinct flows. Think of your average fenrii as a person anywhere between 6 and 8ft tall with horns of varying sizes and lengths, usually with very thick hair on their head and body, and a more animalistic face. (A very good example and a large source of my inspiration for them are the Jotun from the Banner Saga series of video games. A series I havent played but love the look of, example below:)

(Where the fenrii differ from their inspirational counterparts is they have slightly more broad and almost bovine facial features. Particularly wide flat noses and eyes that sit more far apart than your average human.) Because of their predatory ancestry the Fenrii also possess 2 enlarged sets of canine teeth along with thick sharp finger/toenails. Natural weapons leftover from the days when their animal ancestors stalked the mountains and cave systems for prey.

Now that we've gone over what they look like, lets get more into that biology! The Fenrii have always been a genderless species. Due to the perilous nature of their homeworld's climate one of their oldest adaptations was that any member of their species can produce offspring. Another defense against the harsh environs was that they evolved as oviparous mammals, laying large thick-shelled eggs that took only around 7 lunar cycles (thats 7 months in Cosmosphere speak) to gestate and hatch as long as they were properly incubated. So where did the problems emerge? Well, because of their tribal roots, fenrii society views bringing offspring into the world as a very sacred thing. for thousands of years the tribes of Fenrai controlled their birthing rates rather strictly as in accordance with their spiritual values, but as science advanced in their society, so did their ability to diagnose issues within their ways of life. Fenrai has no central government, nor does it really have nations, what it does have is bastion tribes that have either made peace with or absorbed other tribes across their history. These tribes largely run on communal village structure, despite their large size. I bring this up because when it was discovered that their birthing practices were having a massively negative impact on their physiology, changing it was one of the only things all these tribes agreed on unanimously.

You see, back when they were animals and eventually a more primitive species, the fenrii's ancestors reproduced rather frequently. Only one egg could be laid at a time by a single member of the species, but packs and early tribal societies would make egg clutches out of groups of multiple eggs laid by multiple members. The eggs would be looked after by the whole tribe to ensure as many of them as possible would hatch, and this practice was repeated roughly 3-4 times an orbital cycle (year). However, when their society began to adhere to stricter birthing regulations, the length of time and number of generations born with these practices began to cause conflict in their evolutionary cycle. The core issue was as followed: The eggs the Fenrii were producing changed very little, but their own physical attributes did. No longer were they hardy predators, and their bodies more often then not couldn't take the stress of carrying and then laying the eggs they reproduced with. So a culture spanning initiative was formed, to find a way to ensure a future for the Fenrii through alternative birthing practices. At first it was far from perfect. Some of the tribes simply opted to encourage hastened birthing which cost many would-be parents their lives in their attempts to have more children. After nearly 3 human centuries of carefully restructuring their societal views and cultural practices around the subject, an answer was found. Deep within the volcanic caverns of Fenrai a form of super-mycelium (its sci-fi lemme have this) was discovered to have the interesting property of being able to self-replicate via cloning. However, through rigorous testing, it was also discovered to be able to reproduce OTHER material other than itself, genetically identical and healthy nearly any time. Work was put in to refine the process of feeding genetic material into this mycelium to be able to produce a living breathing Fenrii from it. After decades of work, they succeeded, and thus the brood stones were born. By refining the mycelium's reproductive properties the Fenrii were able to create synthetic eggs capable of taking genetic material from either one or more hosts and create a prepubescent copy of that individual, healthy and ready to live a life of their own. This breakthrough was heralded as the most important scientific work in Fenrii history, and was adopted into the cultural practices of the various cultures of Fenrai over the next few centuries.

The most common practice among Fenrai society is that two or more Fenrii who have been wed will decide to have a child and offer a single finger to a brood stone. After a gestation period of 10 lunar cycles a child will be produced from the stone, hatching much like an egg, with genetic characteristics of all of its parents. Fenrii society is welcoming to all forms of self expression, and its not uncommon to find Fenrii across the stars identifying in a myriad of ways. I hope this wasnt too messy, im really bad at like, typing stuff out in one go, but I tried to make it as understandable as possible. I really like my sci-fi setting! And im flattered as hell people wanted to hear about it. Tagging @puppydragonbite cause it said it was also interested in my ramblings. Thanks for reading! (and thanks for the ask <3)

[chemicalbrew]

@elendsessor listen, I love your blog and the way you curate stuff!!! that comment was honestly self-defeatist on my part, and I'm sorry if it made you doubt yourself, you're one of my absolute favorite mutuals at the moment (even though we don't talk, your blog is so awesome!), and I was genuinely worried you'd not follow me back when you remade, wahhh (mostly because I barely post fandom lately, and all I do is lazily scroll my dash and scout the katana zero tag, and I am so self-conscious about how much i love kz these days... i gotta stop with that)

ANYWAY!! back to your original inquiry, at full force

9. worst part of canon

stealth levels in games that are not otherwise about stealth tend to be quite ruinous. off the top of my head, two examples I am forever a little salty about are Ghost Trick and Katana ZERO (though it's partially optional in the latter - I always opt to kill my way through the prison on replays)

For Ghost Trick, that's legitimately the only issue I have with it. For Katana ZERO, however... the ending stretch of the plot is somewhat poorly paced\unsatisfying compared to everything else + hard mode is genuinely unbalanced to the point where I actually gave up on it last month (but god, the itch to play more has not left)

SMT4: rapid-fire complaints from someone who hasn't played other SMTs yet: most of the plot after the Tokyo reveal felt weak, the game needed to be a little more obvious early on about how your choices matter, I wish Flynn had a bit more personality, just to match his companions, the Isabeau twist in particular sucks ass, Burroughs turning out to be a goddess sucks even more, App Point costs were unbalanced, they could have afforded to use multiple asset sets for Domains, I didn't like the prospect of endgame grinding.

I said Chrono Trigger is perfect, but that's only if you ignore what follows after (especially the tie-ins attempted in CTDS). I still do not have it in myself to wholeheartedly love Chrono Cross

Pyre is a wonderful game, but the second half of it was a huge drag and could stand to be less repetitive

Hades has an ending that basically ruins the rest of the plot and it's BAD. also, endgame grind is way too tedious and the progression system can break in places

Brandish 1: the remake doesn't have speed options like the original game did, Tower is a bland-looking stage with awkward music, boss music in this game is uninspired outside of HEADLESS Brandish 2: literally nothing important to the larger narrative happens in this game when you think about it, endgame is not fun and absolutely ridiculous (I get why, but this is truly old school game design at its worst), boss music still sucks (most of the OST outside of the opening hour is honestly weak), there's a different Tower and it sucks for different reasons (backtracking yay) Brandish 3: the fact that the translation isn't out yet (serious answer: this game, iirc, has more backtracking than the others. Sanctuary was a really gimmicky stage in particular) Brandish 4: for fuck's sake, who decided the Temple stage was acceptable? it's literally an assault on the senses

Trails series: awful with ships. awful. the main ship of the first arc of the series is a case of adopted incest lol there's some other really gross tropes like this all throughout and I really don't feel like reciting them right now, so... I'll list other stuff: the games weren't intended to have multiple difficulties, so playing on anything that's not Normal will suck in some way you have to be extraordinarily meticulous to 100% or use a guide as the series went on, it became easier to break the difficulty into pieces with how ridiculous skills get despite that, superbosses and scripted losses that you have to win to 100% are a tradition of the series and can be really annoying to deal with as the series went on, it also started using more modern anime tropes to appeal to more people and it UNFORTUNATELY has been working

Ys series: modern games suffer from trying to be more like Trails, which they shouldn't <3 end of story

Xenoblade 1: battle system as a whole was unrefined and unsatisfying, worst sidequests in the series, female party members are all suffering in some way (Sharla's arc was cliche and unsatisfying, she sucks to use, her design is awkward; Fiora's situation was not explored deeply enough and she got fridged; Melia suffers in the story so much it almost turns into comedy and suspends disbelief) the only antagonist that resonated with me was Zanza.

Xenoblade 2: (DLC fixes most of this) The obvious: there needed to be less titties; The obvious again: Tora's introduction sucks ass (and he doesn't get truly better ever :() AND Tiger! Tiger! can go fuck itself; The introduction in general is slow and is why I won't replay this even though it's a GOAT; I actually like the gacha being around (I got lucky and the only real trouble I had was getting KOS-MOS imo), but it should at least become infinitely more generous in NG+. AT LEAST THAT. The infamous roadblocks to 100% like Ursula's affinity chart; The UI issues that everyone harped enough on; The maps got so much worse in this game compared to 1 like? I had so much trouble navigating here compared to other XB games.

Xenoblade 3: (DLC fixes most of this) literally the worst antagonists in the series; not a great party either (RIP Sena); Noahmio was kinda boring for half the runtime; in general the messages made by the game are not interesting to me and did not resonate like 2 did; the class system ruins every good change made to battle system; chain attacks suck, and not just their music - they're worse than 1's; weakest soundtrack (same issue as Brandish 2, where it starts strong but as a whole is eh); probably the only XB game that I do not ever intend to actually finish, because it's such a slog somehow.

The only sin Kid Icarus Uprising committed was its control scheme. Might have been justified, but it sucks.

Ace Attorney has too many issues to count <3 I'll just mention that: The series as a whole sucks at guiding you when you get stuck Big Top sucks, we all know this AA6 ruined Athena and Apollo and has questionable setting\design choices AAI2's last case dragged on for too long even if it was hype

13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim's battle system as a whole really sucks if we're being honest, and nowhere is this shown off better than the final battle.

VA-11 Hall-A often goes overboard with humor, but its worst offense is the optional bullet hell minigame they put in

[farren-elwood]

Rant about why Tomb Raider 2013 is so important to me and why do I relate to Lara (feel free to ignore this, I just want to put down my thoughts)

Ignoring the fact that I'm an archaeologist and an ISFP (mixed with INFJ depending on the context).

I've been replaying the 2013 game because I needed inspiration to continue writing my thesis (about Japan), and adding to that I was saving and deleting stuff from my old computer, and there I found a couple of test answers about "which 2013 TR character are you" that I took with my ex gf, me getting Lara and her getting Sam.

I've arrived to the part where Roth sacrifices himself to save Lara, leaving in the process his gf behind.

So, on the Roth matter, I had an uncle, who died when I was around 21, from cancer. He was the one who taught me archery and who was all about survival skills. He gave me my first bow that I still keep with me despite the fact that I own another one that's stronger, ergo, it fits me better.

It was after he died that I started hanging out more with is now ex-gf.

On the other hand we have Sam. We met in college. We studied English Language for a year before I moved to another city to study Archaeology. It was love at first sight, if that is even something (with her I do believe that exists). After around a year we started dating (I was 21), long distance. At first her parents liked me but eventually they discovered the relationship after a couple of months and started hating me with all they had (because they're religious homophobes). They made us cut all contact with each other, her mother spied her on the only social medias she let her keep, but we managed to sneak around using Hangouts, by Google. But we had to cut contact again since her mental health got bad.

After I think was another year I managed to send her a couple of gifts for her birthday, anonymously.

In the comics Lara and Sam have to part ways, and while Sam is in the hospital, her parents keeping watch so that Lara doesn't sneak in to see her, Lara gives Sam a box of Jaffa Cakes, Lara's favourites. That being the last thing Sam knew from Lara. There is a panel where Sam is holding close the box while looking out the window, laying on her hospital bed.

In my case, I got her a plush of a horse (one of my favourite animals) and a book from Virginia Woolf (because lesbians).

That's it about relationships.

On the more Lara-like-aspects, as I said I'm an archaeologist doing a thesis on Japan, archer, ISFP, with trauma (I will not explain further on that particular subject but you could say I'm a survivor, just not the same kind).

The difference is that I'm Mexican instead of English, raised in my childhood in France.

As extras I'm an autistic lesbian and you bet I headcanon 2013 Lara Croft as an autistic lesbian.

Another extra: my current partner-in-crime/toxic ex is also an archaeologist who practices archery, but she’s more like Amanda (from TR Legend) but INTJ instead of ENTJ, mixed with Sofia from RotTR (in her loyalty to her loved ones). And she’s writing the previously mentioned thesis with me because she didn’t know what to do and she had started helping me.

[bb-dot-move-daisies]

IM BORED IM EATING BREAKFAST AND THESE ARE FUN LETS GO

1. Love languages?

I think— Gift giving and physical touch for Kylie, and Acts of Service for Daisy.

Daisy specifically, I'm of the belief that she's capable of murder when she loves somebody enough.

2. Perfect date?

Night in. No work. No pressure. Be absolutely disgusting and unattractive. Movie. Dinner. The kids are behaving well and exactly where they can see them. Maybe they'll have sex once the girls have fallen asleep but, that's on the off chance that THEY don't fall asleep first.

3. First move?

Kylie. Kylie. Kylie. Kylie. Bartender. Audacity of a bull.

4. More sentimental?

Daisy. Daisy seems like the type to keep a box full of cut hair and lost teeth, just to kind of look back one day and go "look how small you used to be"

5. Who kills spiders?

I feel like they both do. Daisy for "protecting the fort", Kylie just out of pure shock and instinct. Cockroaches are a different story.

6. Who falls asleep first?

Daisy. That old hag 🫶

7. Who wakes up first?

Daisy again. she has to. She works a 9-5 and it's a long commute to the outskirts of the city.

Kylie works night shift at a bar— but has to get up early anyway to get the kids ready for school.

8. Who's more relaxed?

Kylie. Goes without saying.

9. How do their personalities compliment each other?

This one's cheesy, but they kinda complete each other...or...fill in each other's gaps, rather.

Daisy's out of the house for work morning til evening— making up most of the household's income (so this is rent money, school money, food money, medicine money)— and then she can watch the kids when she gets home at night. Kylie leaves for work from evening until like 2 in the morning to make the rest of the money, so for the remaining hours of the day, Kylie's kinda at home cleaning, cooking, and when maisie was younger, they did like 70% of the child rearing before Daisy takes over for the night.

Also, from skillset — in terms of how they're helping the kids and the household at large — Kylie's better at the more "home-making" domestic stuff like cooking, and cleaning, groceries, driving, while Daisy is the "moooom heeelp :(((" help, the kids are sick, help with the hard math problem, "mooom :(( it's broken :(((", fix the computer, fix the toilet, could reliably find the kids when they're lost at the JC Penny, kinda parent.

And then from a more ~personality based~ standpoint, Daisy brings structure to Kylie's chaos, while Kylie smooths out a lot of Daisy's edges. in a social setting, Kylie does most of the talking, and Daisy's just... Kylie's really cool girlfriend who sorta just nods and fidgets with their hands.

So yeah, they're not the most romantic couple, nor do they spend THE MOOOOST time together, but I think they're a good team. (nod nod)

10. Who's always cold?

The kids. Skinny little things.

11. Who brings home the stray animals?

I was gonna be mean and say Kylie, for bringing home the random feral child her and her ex used to tutor for— but neither of them. Maisie probably wanted a puppy dog to play with, but Daisy would be the first to decline the idea.

12. Who worries more?

Daisy. Absolute helicopter of a woman.

(And then Kylie, absolute Floridian Hurricane of a woman)

13. Non-sexual activities they do together?

Just the two of them??? Probably like. Lay on the couch and dish out some crazy thing that happened at work.

On a good day they could go running together — and THEN dish out some crazy thing that happened at work.

They both play guitar and enjoy a lot of the same music, so I can picture them playing together— Daisy on the chords and melody, while Kylie does the bass.

Board games— but that's a Whole Family sort of ordeal.

Kylie could teach Daisy how to cook.

14. Who could talk their way out of a speeding ticket?

Kylie.

Daisy would freeze.

15. Who's the better cook?

Donnie /j

16. What are some things they don't agree on?

Sex. That's a big one, I think. If or if not they do anything tonight; if they try anything new; how often; how long...

Kylie's a bartender, so pre-Daisy, they would meet a whole lot of new people through the job, the customers would strike up a bit of banter, flirt with her, she'd flirt back. They fuck. They forget about it. So for Kylie this is like— theirsndkmf Their Hobby??? is that the word I'm looking for? Their source of enrichment???

Meanwhile, for Daisy, Kylie was her first— or rather, the first time she's ever had the choice to say 'yes' or 'no'. And then Kylie got her pregnant their first time. And her back hurts— so. Not really something Daisy wants to do Regularly.

17. Who's more physically affectionate?

This one's weird— because one would think that it's Kylie, in that she's definitely the hornier one of the two But...In my heart of hearts, I say Daisy. She's more intense. More clingy. She could be very quiet when she's overwhelmed, and just wants to retreat into her own space— and Kylie is her own (portable) space — so I can imagine Daisy fidgeting with Kylie's hands, and hair, and clothes, and falling asleep on their shoulder when no one's looking. Kylie could probably tell when Daisy wants a kiss— she doesn't have to say it— and Kylie's. Happy to oblige.

Again, it's often non-sexual, I feel like sex would make things worse for her— cuz there's like a social performance aspect there that she's not really up for 99% of the time. But when it IS sexual, I feel like it's Daisy that gets crazier about it.

So yeah, it's Daisy.

18. Who's more verbally affectionate?

Kylie. Kylie's louder. Lmao.

19. How do they feel about PDA?

Indifferent. They're fine with it, they don't think it's gross or whatever. But Daisy in particular hates feeling "(emotionally) naked" around random people who might be watching.

20. Who's the safer driver?

Kylie. But it's better if Kylie drives and Daisy navigates.

21. Flirting styles?

Kylie's funny, confident, overt(ly sexual), and tends to "customize" their flirting style to who they're flirting WITH. but I feel like— Daisy's so...Daisy...That Kylie just inevitably has to go back to being their regular self. Their natural flirting style, I feel like is...so obscure...and so distracted and makes sense to nobody except for themselves.

Daisy doesn't flirt. But some of the things she says and does gets Kylie on their KNEES. their KNEEEEES.

22. Who steals the other's clothing?

They're Sims. I don't have a lot of clothes to choose from in-game, so I like to pretend they're borrowing from each other whenever two characters are wearing the same in-game items. And yuhm, Daisy wears Kylie's boxer briefs to sleep. So.

23. Cuddle initiator?

They both aaare...they both aaaare. But Daisy's more likely to break the cuddle.

24. Rather go out or stay in?

Depends on the kids.

25. Who big spoon? Who little spoon?

Daisy's the little spoon. The prospect of sleeping scares her. She doesn't like the dark, she doesn't like the nightmares, she doesn't like that vulnerability of being unconscious, so it helps to have a 6 foot 5 meat shield around. Lol. But also for that reason, I can't imagine her liking Spooning. Like...being held and grabbed from behind is like a could be rather triggering for her.

26. Who more impulsive, who is voice of reason?

Depends in what way---Daisy could be a very jumpy person when prompted, and Kylie has ADHD. But when it comes down to it, Kylie's more calm, and Daisy's more logical.

27. Who laughs at their own jokes?

They both do.

28. Who takes longer showers?

Kylie, because they often forget if they've used soap or not. (They have) (Will do another one just in case)

And then Daisy is quicker, because 1. work, and 2. it's the same thing as sleeping--someone could kill her naked. Why would she give them that opportunity?

29. Who is more loved by the in-laws?

Mixed bag.

I'll start with Kylie's in-laws bcuz Daisy's family is a lot smaller.

So. Kylie SHOULD have the upperhand here.

Due to circumstances, Daisy had cut all contact from her parental figures, and doesn't know any of her extended relatives. So in that way, Kylie doesn't have a lot of pressure from any elder figures in Daisy's family.

2. Kylie was/still is friends with Daisy's brother, and Daisy's sister in-law. In fact, they were all (supposed to be) from the same graduating year in college, so Kylie and Daisy's family has a pre-built bond right there.

HOWEVER, Daisy's brother is incredibly protective of her, so since Daisy and Kylie started dating, he has grown a lot more critical of Kylie than he previously had been. So they all have to be careful, so as to not lose TWO relationships at once.

KYLIE'S FAMILY-- is intimidating. Because they're kind of loving, but incredibly judgemental, and ever so slightly conservative.

Kylie's mom is partly proud, partly disappointed-- proud that Kylie seems to be living a good, familial life with this new woman. Kylie's mom had always wanted grandchildren and was happy that her firstborn was the first to bring her that--despite the tumultuous, chaotic sort of life that Kylie had led up to this point. HOWEVER, she is massively disappointed that this "perfect" family life only came by accident. It was her child's poor decisions that led them here. So she's kinda mixed about the whole thing. "They got lucky"

Kylie's brother, Brandon, is of a similar opinion, but doesn't believe that Kylie's serious enough to keep things steady.

Kylie's SISTER, Fallon, had two terrible brothers terrorizing her all throughout her childhood. So she feels blessed that Kylie's transition and lesbianism brought her not one, but two, really cool girls into the family. Fallon's obsessed with Daisy -- she always wanted an older sister just like her.

Generally, though, they celebrate the fact that out of all the women Kylie could've gone out with, they picked a pretty, (mostly) responsible, STEM girl with money --- and pray to GOD Kylie doesn't lose her.

30. Who more jealous?

Kyyylie.

I know in canon they're the one who cheated but.

It's Kylie.

It's not just jealousy of— "I saw her making eyes with that one woman over there—" it's more like..

they hate themselves enough that on a bad day, they're jealous of Daisy, just in general. She's the daughter her parents always wish they were.

31. Most surprising thing they learned about each other since dating?

I don't have an answer for this one yet, actually. I'll get back to you.

32. Who stays up and who drags them to bed?

Sometimes Kylie comes home from work to find Daisy tipping and tapping away at her computer, with bloodshot eyes and a sore back. Kylie would be like, "Babe, sleep." and Daisy would be like, "Don't wanna."

But the moment Kylie gets into bed, Daisy's sure to follow after and conk out.

33. Who's messier?

Daisy. I don't know why. I feel like her mind is too busy to notice. She will pick that up later. (the "that" in question is mold in the bathroom)

34. Who is more likely to accidentally spend $300 dollars at Target?

Kylie. That girl can't count.

35. Who wanted/would want kids first?

Okay, so...as the story goes, Kylie and Daisy had their kids By Accident, and for the most part, only stayed together to raise them. BUT.

Individually, I feel like deep down, Daisy, secretly had always wanted to be a mother, but always believed that she was far too afraid that she was far too broken to have that chance herself. So she buries herself in work, keeps herself indoors, she helps her brother, just to kind of find that purpose elsewhere.

Kylie, didn't ACTIVELY WANT children, but generally, they're pretty good with kids and enjoys being around children. So the whole parenthood just sort of worked out for them.

36. Who gives piggyback rides?

Kyyyylie. Kylie likes to believe she's strong enough to lift Daisy all the way up for an extended period of time. Daisy hates the way it feels. It's anxiety inducing.

37. Who fell in love first?

Kylie. Are you kidding? Kylie.

Assorted OTP Questions

What is each member’s love language?

What would they describe as their perfect date?

Who made the first move?

Who is more sentimental?

Which member calls the other in to kill the spiders?

Who falls asleep first?

Who wakes up first?

Who is more more relaxed/carefree?

What’s one way their personalities compliment one another? (Is it opposites attract or are they pretty similar?)

Who is always cold?

Which member is always trying to bring home stray animals and which member always has to say no?

Who worries more?

What are some non-sexual activities they do together?

Who would be able to talk their way out of a speeding ticket?

Who is the better cook?

What are some things they don’t agree on?

Which member is more physically affectionate?

Which member is more verbally affectionate?

How does each member feel about PDA?

Who’s the safer driver?

What’s each member flirting style?

Which member steals borrows the other ones clothing?

Who is the cuddle initiator?

Are they an introverted couple or an extroverted one—AKA would they prefer to go out to a party or event together or would they rather stay in?

Who is the big/little spoon?

Who is more likely to make an impulsive decision and who is the voice of reason?

Who’s more likely to laugh at their own jokes?

Who takes longer showers?

Who is “more loved” by the in-laws?

Who is more likely to get jealous?

What was the most surprising thing they learned about one another once they started dating?

Who stays up way too late and who tries to drag them to bed?

Who’s messier?

Which member is more likely to accidentally spend $300 at Target?

Who wanted/would want kids first?

Who gives piggy back rides to the other?

Who fell in love first?

[leseigneurdesinferieurs]

In my deep depression and recent mental health plagued I have of course been keeping myself company with poetry and literature and words. It’s notoriously known that deep existential thinking and mourning of your past is very healthy and will make you feel so much better.

With this I have written some poetry and of course must share it amongst you people in case somebody sees it and likes what they read. Note that as of writing these they are not part of my new anthology as that involves a lot more cursing, being generally offensive and anger. That being said please appreciate my poetry. I apologise to those who find it to be to dark and sad.

Off Into The Void I Go

The nights weigh heavy, cold and close the door,

Between myself and all I used to be.

I hear your laugh with someone else, no more

Are you beside me. Loss is all I see.

I watch the world through fractured, hollow glass,

Each breath a whisper, crumbling in my chest.

The days, they blur and pass, then slowly pass,

Until they’re gone. Perhaps it’s for the best.

The mirror shows a stranger, pale and thin,

A face I barely know, but still must wear.

I wash my hands of this old life I’m in,

Yet filth remains — despair is everywhere.

I cut the threads that held old friends too close,

For silence now is easier to bear.

Their voices only haunt, they don’t console;

In every word, the lie of “I still care.”

This weight, it sinks me deeper in the void,

Where nothing soothes, and nothing pulls me back.

Each hour feels like time I can’t avoid,

A train that speeds along its final track.

What comfort lies in pills, or smoke, or glass?

The hollow things we clutch when all else fades.

These fleeting moments hold no strength, no past,

Just emptiness that leaves us more afraid.

The world outside is cold, yet colder still

The thoughts that gnaw inside, they never leave.

No cure for this; no hope, no magic pill—

Just days of drifting by, too numb to grieve.

And so, into the void I quietly go,

No fanfare for the broken, just the night.

Perhaps there’s peace beyond the pull of woe,

Perhaps we fade, then fade into the light.

“Cold Hands”

The night they found her wasn’t cold,

But bright beneath that neon sky.

She lay there, broke beneath the mold,

Of love that withered—gutted, dry.

The sirens hummed like tired bees,

In swarms, they circled dead-end streets,

While no one cried and no one prayed,

Just another ghost in these cracked concrete days.

The world moves fast, they say, and strange,

We wear our masks, we shift, we change.

But in the shadows, something crawls,

Between the hearts we’ve slammed to walls.

Her name was Amy, quiet girl—

She used to dream of city lights,

Met a man who fed her pearls,

Then left her starving on lonely nights.

They played the game, like we all do,

Of texts unread and calls ignored,

Of promises made in darkened rooms,

Where love is sold and hearts are whored.

She took his lies, took every blow,

His voice as sharp as fractured bone,

Until one night, beneath the glow,

She made him feel her knife alone.

Cold hands in colder sheets,

What does love mean if it dies in the streets?

A corpse wrapped in something sweet,

Now her heart is ash and her soul’s incomplete.

They found her body, limbs all wrong,

A mannequin left out too long.

Her lover? Gone, no sign, no trace—

Just blood smudged on a broken face.

And when they asked, what did they say?

“She’s just a girl who lost her way.”

But here’s the thing, we’re all so lost,

In every hand we’ve double-crossed.

Love isn’t love, it’s just a game—

You find a face, you take a name.

And then you push and pull and fuck,

Until it snaps beneath the muck.

I saw her once, or thought I did—

She looked like someone once who smiled,

But now her eyes were hollowed lids,

Her lips drawn tight like winter’s child.

I passed her by, like we all do,

Another ghost among the few,

Who lived and loved and burned and bled—

Then disappeared like all the dead.

We dress it up, we make it neat,

But in the end, love’s dead in the street.

We say it’s tragic, then move on—

Until we’re dust, till we’re all gone.

Cold hands in colder sheets,

What does love mean if it dies in the streets?

A corpse wrapped in something sweet,

Now her heart is ash and her soul’s incomplete.

So here’s the truth no one will say:

We all just fake our love away.

We text, we post, we fuck, we lie—

And then we leave, and let them die.

[untilthelastdayofmylife]

When I was Little

Finally posting my first ever work on here! ꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ Warnings: ❤︎ Mentions of abuse ❤︎ Mentions of losing purity ❤︎ Mentions of trauma

Teenagers... their lives seem so fun! I thought when I was around 9 years old.

Back then, I went to a kindergarten in a city known as the city for everybody! It was the city for celebrities, even tourists. It was like the New York of my country. Every time I came home from school, I often saw high school students chatting with their friends, and I often saw them going home together on motorcycles. Their faces always had smiles that made me keep staring at them, making me think, I can't wait to grow up so I can be like them!

Their uniforms looked so exclusive to me. A white top with a gray skirt, socks that were sometimes short, sometimes long, and of course, I can't forget how they styled their hair with accessories that adorned their faces, like earrings and makeup.

Many of them often went home with their boyfriends. I felt really "jealous" to the point I started dreaming of a guy who would love me too.

But, I was still a child.

There were many things at that time that didn't make sense to me.

I often wondered, why do adults do that? Why do they often cry? Why do they always have so many life problems? Why do so many of them like living in desperation?

Many of the questions I asked myself were born from what I experienced every day.

I once woke up early, if I'm not mistaken, at 5 AM, and I was greeted by my parents arguing loudly. Right in front of my eyes, my dad threw something at my mom. I didn't know what to do, and I just stood there, silent. Honestly, even now, I still don't have a specific response to my parents. But, one thing that I'm sure of, I'm sick of their yelling. That's where my desire to move out came from. I wanted to live with my friends and be far away from my parents.

Even so, I know that my parents try hard to be good role models for me. My mom likes to tell me stories about her life, hoping that I can learn from them. My dad isn't someone who likes to share stories, but he often encourages me in various ways. To this day, one of my favorite ways of him encouraging me is by buying me things. Every time my dad buys me clothes, accessories, dolls, and so on, he always reminds me to repay it by being a good kid; both at school and at home. Sometimes my mom does the same, but it's my dad who does it the most.

Behind it all, because they argued so much, they sometimes took it out on me by hurting me.

Luckily, I was strong. I had so many desires that I didn't have time to think about what my parents did to me. I was always busy with things I liked, like exploring the internet, playing games, and many other things. Mathematically, I was probably raised 60% by the internet and 40% by my parents.

They were often so busy with their work that they rarely had time to listen to me talk about my day. If I wanted to ask about something, I would use my mom's phone or my parents' computer to ask the internet. Sometimes, I would ask the "people of the internet" too.

I only realized a few years ago that the internet also taught me many things I shouldn't have learned at a young age. Those things made me grow up too fast.

I don't want to grow up.

Becoming an adult is like hurting yourself, almost killing yourself, that's what I often think.

On the internet, I also lost my innocence. I was consumed by them, used by them, and they knew exactly what they were doing.

I don't know how to tell my parents anything without knowing that they will punish me. I remember a lot of the things they did to me when I was little. They locked me out of the house, they left me outside for hours, they hurt my body, they messed with my mind. I can't trust them anymore.

I won't hide the fact that they have long since apologized to me. But, the pain still lingers.

I still feel like a child.

I'm afraid of people my age.

People who have embraced their adulthood, they scare me a lot.

Why do they treat me like this if they are truly grown up? Isn't being an adult supposed to mean knowing what's right and what's wrong? If they treat me like this, I will cry. I will be sad. My mind will break. If that's the case, it's not a good thing, right? But, why do they still do it?

They confuse me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not worthy of being a person.

What do I want to become?

My mind continues to be tortured by these questions.

[jellostories]

AJ the Very Whimsical, Ch. 26: Fill 'er Up

One chilly October's afternoon on their way home from school, AJ and her mom stopped by their local fueling station, Rod's Stop n' Go, for recharging purposes.

Like all motorized vehicles in this world, Blaze's golf cart ran on four rechargable, 40-volt batteries that were stored in a little compartment in the back of the cart.

As soon as she pulled up to an open charging pillar, Blaze opened up the aforementioned compartment, pulled out the batteries, and placed them in the charging slots on the pillar. As the batteries charged, the amount of money it would cost Blaze rose on the screen above the cash slot. For her family's sake, Blaze hoped it wouldn't cost more than $26. She was already running low on cash for the month.

Meanwhile, AJ hummed happily from her seat in the back of the golf cart, peering curiously at all the drivers charging their car batteries at the various stations. But then, AJ saw...HIM.

Sitting in a green convertible jeep stationed diagonally from AJ, playing on his portable game system, was Freddy Jensen, the red-haired sixth-grader AJ had a crush on.

Immediately, hearts appeared in AJ's green eyes, and her real heart began to hammer in her chest like an overactive construction worker.

"Schnookie-Poo..." the little girl said dreamily.

While her mommy busied herself with blowing a bubble-pipe (which Blaze had taken up as an alternative to smoking), AJ hastily unbuckled her seatbelt and ran over to the Jensens' jeep, much to the whole family's startlement.

"Bonjour, mon sweet amour," the French girl cooed. She brought her freckled, blushing face uncomfortably close to Freddy's tan one. "Fancy seeing you 'ere, non?"

"Uhhh..." Freddy uttered, too astonished to think straight.

Sitting right next to the redheaded 11-year-old were his younger sister and brother, both of whom were giggling and hiding their eyes from the one-sided kiddie romance going on, respectively.

In the front seat of the jeep, Mrs. Jensen looked like she was battling feelings of disgust and cute-gushiness (one voice in her mind: "What the French toast!? They're both kids! Neither of them are old enough to date yet! Stop them, Debi -- before they start holding hands or something!" / Another voice: "But they would look so cute together!!").

And finally, Mr. Jensen kept checking the charging levels on the car batteries, looking very much like he wanted to be anywhere that didn't have a little Pepe Le Pew girl.

And speaking of little Pepe Le Pew girls...

"I've been renting a lot of videotapes about romance from ze video store, cher," AJ crooned, still totally oblivious to Freddy and his family's increasing discomfort, "and, because of zat, I know all ze treecks and fleeps we 'ave to do to make our relationship work!"

Freddy shoved AJ back a few inches so they weren't breathing on each other anymore.

"'Tr-Tricks and flips'?" the redheaded boy echoed, not liking how weird the phrase sounded.

AJ shrugged. "Eet's somezing my Pop-Pop says. 'E's from Molandia, and zey LOVE making up weird phrases. But anyways," the silly girl clapped her hands, a huge grin appearing on her face, "back to ze romance! Ze first step, according to Keeds Fake Zings, eez--”

“Getting the heck away from me?” Freddy suggested hopefully.

AJ laughed. “Non, non, you seelly goose egg! We ’ave to ’ave a pajama party! And, coincidentally--”

The bubbly girl ripped off her outer clothes to reveal a pair of pink, frog-themed footie pajamas, making the Jensens gasp in awe. Unseen by AJ, Freddy’s little sister made a gagging noise. She HATED pink (she liked P!nk, though).

“--I just ‘appen to be wearing some! Da-ta~!” AJ declared, shaking her fingers like a showwoman.

Freddy made a noise like a gagging fish. He was now 100% certified, officially-for-certain uncomfortable and freaked out. 

Misdirected by his lack of speech, AJ ran up to her “Schnookie-Poo” and got her face uncomfortably close to his again.

“So, what are you saying, cherie?” the silly girl asked. “Do you want to ‘ave ze pajama party de kiddie romance weeth me? I promise you, eet’s going to be super-duper-tres awesome! We’ll ‘ave a leetle tea party, and watch a movie, and braid each ozzer’s ‘air, and dance around to--”

While AJ carried on with her enthusiastic babbling, an electronic beep-beep-boop sound emanated from the charging pillar, signaling that the car batteries had finished charging.

Giving a huge sigh of relief, Mr. Jensen took the batteries out of their stations, loaded them into their port in the back of the car, put the money he owed in the cash slot, hopped into the driver's seat, and lit the ignition.

This caught AJ's attention. "Oh? Are you going home so Schnookie-Poo can grab 'is jammies, monsieur?"

In response, Mr. Jensen turned around and spat: "You stay away from my son, you little booger!"

AJ's jaw dropped in shock as the Jensens rolled away in their jeep, with Freddy mouthing a hasty "sorry" to the French girl.

As she watched the green vehicle disappear into the distance, however, AJ's smile morphed back onto her face.

"Oh, I get eet!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands with realizationism. "Eet's just like Julio & Romiette! Our parents are trying to keep us apart, but we meet up in a garden at night and get married anyway!" AJ thoughtfully stroked her chin. "I wonder what 'appens at ze end of zat movie? I never got to feenish eet before Mommy took eet back to Flickmaster...ah, well! Eet probably doesn't matter!"

Humming another cheerful tune to herself, AJ skipped back towards her mother's golf cart, where Blaze was in the middle of taking the batteries out of their charging pillar. The little girl managed to hop into her car seat and buckle herself up at the exact same second Blaze had turned back towards the cart with the batteries in her hand.

The elder Arquette smiled at her child. 

"Bonjour, Crumpet," she said somewhat teasingly as she loaded the batteries into the fuel port. "You do anyzing fun while I was recharging our cart's batteries?"

"Oh, mais oui!" AJ answered with a glowing smile and a nod of her head. "I saw my Schnookie-Poo, and we made plans to 'ave a romantic slumber party!"

Blaze dropped her cart's batteries and her bubble pipe in shock, and stared at her daughter with eyes as wide as golfballs.

"What ze actual--"

[quaddmgd]

I've been playing Tomb Raider I-III Remastered since its release. I managed to beat TR1 + Unfinished business and I'm 1/3 through TR2. It takes me longer than I thought, mostly because of work and exhaustion, but I'm having so much fun. Let's talk about TR1 then!

I've never actually finished a Core Design Tomb Raider before. I really wanted to start from the first one, but no matter the version, MS-DOS, Windows or PS1, the jumping felt delayed to a point of being unplayable for me. Which... was really weird. Normally I enjoy playing older games and not many ever felt 'too old' for me to learn playing them. Remasters felt like my last chance to try and beat them and, well, turns out jumping in original TR1 is dependant on animations - cinematic platformer-style. The new release actually fixed that and it feels very responsive on a keyboard. That's the most important change for me.

TR1 feels so different from the Legend and Survivor trilogies. Compared to newer games, platforming requires an ungodly amount of precision to pull off and feels very rewarding in the process. Instead of being action-oriented it prioritizes being a puzzle-platformer first, while enemy encounters remain sporadic and rather unwelcome due to their jankiness. TR1 ends up being a really atmospheric, quiet and isolating experience, making you feel like you're really the first person to visit these locations in thousands of years - I really appreciate that.

Now, being a 1996 game, TR1 always looked stellar to me and if it weren't for my issues with platforming, I would've probably beaten the original a long time ago. That being said, I really appreciate the art direction this remaster goes for. It's a nice mix between somewhat cartoony models and the original level design allowing for gameplay to remain intact. It's not without issues (some spaces can be too dark, some items are harder to spot and hd textures don't blend that well together compared to the original pixel art - some of that was apparently fixed in a patch, but it'd have to go back and check), but its lighting system makes up for any flaws. To be honest lighting does all the heavy lifting in creating atmosphere and the way environment reflects colored light on Lara reminds me of RT global illumination solutions used in modern games, but retains the feeling of playing a forgotten early 2000s gem with an HD texture pack installed. I love it.

The photo mode is a nice addition too. I managed to snap a few pics and the ability to switch between old and new graphics helped with making side-by-side comparisons.

There are a few meaningful flaws, unfortunately. FMV cutscenes didn't get a proper upscale, but instead just a blurry filtering, making them look worse than the original ones. Some achievements appear to be broken as well, which can be a bummer as some of them are really hard to pull off. Switching to OG graphics caps frame rate to 30fps with a funky framepacing, NG+ is not NG+ but a hard mode, and all-new modern controls have already become infamous for limiting Lara's movement compared to tank controls and making the camera bug out in tight spaces. I encountered more issues, but most of them got fixed in a 1.01 patch, so overall I'm pleased with the state of the game.

Now there are communication and update accessibility issues I'm planning to touch on, but since they don't seem to affect the experience of actually playing the remasters, I'm going to do so in a separate post.

Playing through TR2, I noticed the bigger focus on action, which I heard will be also a thing in TR3, but aside from that it seems to be a great sequel!

I already made a wishlist of what I want to see in future patches (including a working wardrobe and outfits from other TR games hehe), but I have fun playing it and that's the most important thing about this collection. It was obviously made with love and I hope that updates will make it a perfect visual remaster in the future.

[legendtraineremily]

Day 1 of my Pokémon Yellow Nuzlocke Challenge!

Well, I’m fueled up with one of my favorite sodas (Mountain Dew Spark), have a hot cocoa (it’s raining tonight) cooling a bit before drinking, and I’m ready to go!

Standard start so far. My Pikachu is…decent actually. I am hopeful with what I have to use for now.

Starter—Pikachu/Zippy

Lv. 5

Hp: 19

Attack: 11

Defense: 8

Speed: 14

Special: 11

Next up, the customary rival battle. Let’s hope for a paralyze with Thundershock and all will go smoothly.

Woo! No paralyze, but a Crit at the end saved my butt. That victory brings Zippy to Lv. 6 though, so we’re setting up for success.

Why’d I grab the crummy hot cocoa? Whatever. On to Viridian City, then back to get the Pokédex, and finally some Pokéballs so we can fill out the team.

So, I forgot I don’t get free Pokéballs until I beat the rival up a second time (Winning that will make him evolve his Eevee into Jolteon and get wrecked by my future Dugtrio). As I have no pokéballs yet, I’m burning route 1 to the ground to train up before going back to Viridian. Is it stretching the rules I set up? Maybe. Does my desire to do a half-way decent run overrule that? Heck yes.

Roast Pidgey with a side of Rattata Flambé anyone? The crits keep coming in spite of my low level (another factor in the game’s formulas).

Trained up a bit and it’s on to that rival battle. He’s got a Spearow leading so I’m liking my chances so far. First turn, he Growls and I crit a Thundershock on him. This is going pleasantly. :) Level 8 achieved along with Thunderwave!

Eevee took my Thunderwave and threw a Sand-Attack at me. Thanks… -_-

Stop with the frickin’ Sand-Attacks!! I won but, Gah! Now it’s off to get free stuff and finally fill the team out. Oh and stop at my mom’s place to heal because I forgot to do that in Viridian apparently. And then to chuckle at more of the “fun” Gen 1 brings—“tr to catch them”—that’s not me misspelling try, that’s GameFreak missing it when editing and fitting the text for Yellow version. It’s the little things that make you smile, am I right?

First encounter, what will you be? It’s…a Lv. 4 Pidgey! Okay, I’ll have to use Thunderwave and chuck a ball at it as such because a single attack would end it. Yep. Got it first try while para’d.

Route 1 Encounter—Pidgey/BIRBY

Lv. 4

Hp: 17

Attack: 9

Defense: 8

Speed: 9

Special: 8

Route 22 Encounter—Rattata/Remy

Lv. 3

Hp: 15

Attack: 8

Defense: 7

Speed: 9

Special: 7

Oh. Right. I forgot the menu sprites were really weird in Gens 1 and (a little less so) 2. Remy looks like a Tauros and BIRBY gets the generic bird Pokémon look. Pikachu looks fine though. 🤷‍♀️ That’s two more to the team at least!

Why yes, old man, I would LOVE to learn how to catch a Ratta—oop! You failed. Looks like my sarcasm threw him off. Good. Now comes the great question—will I luck out and get the Nidoran for my route 2 encounter? Let’s get past the forest first and hit the upper grass just in case.

Wait, why is one of my Pokéballs blacked out—oh my gosh! I forgot to heal after catching Remy! Gotta fix that before hitting any more trainers in the forest.

Excuse me Caterpie. This is supposed to go “encounter, paralyze, catch,” not “encounter, paralyze, lose three Pokéballs, switch to BIRBY, hit a couple times, catch”! Bleh! You’re now “Stinky.”

Viridian Forest encounter—Caterpie/Stinky

Lv. 4

Hp: 17

Attack: 7

Defense: 8

Speed: 9

Special: 7

After that lovely encounter, I’m going to train in the grass a bit by the forest entrance and then call it a da—oh frick! A Lv. 8 Pidgey!