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maxwell-grant · 3 years ago

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Red of Overly Sarcastic Productions once said :"If you can imagine your Batman comforting a shared child, then congratulations, you're righting Batman. If not, you're just writing the Punisher in a funny hat". This got me wondering: could the Shadow comfort a scared child?

Could he? You forget who was there to lift young Bruce to his feet at his first brush with death (sadly far from his last).

But it's an interesting question to pose still, because children were straight up not in the pulps, not in any I've read, and I can't recall any episodes of the radio show that feature them much (there's gotta be at least a few, because they had everything in that show). The most interaction I think The Shadow's ever had with children (from comics that I can discuss here, because Marshall Rogers' "Harold Goes to Washington" is way, way too much for me to go into right now, and the less I talk about some other DC comics, the better) is in the Street & Smith comics.

There's Jerry from the Devil Kyoti arc, a kid who was traumatized by an encounter with the villain who Sayre's looking after and who ends up having some kind of hidden power that allows him to see The Shadow and defeat the villain. There was a blonde Jerry who showed up later in the Monstradamus arc, but he isn't a kid so much as he's diet Jimmy Olsen or a replacement for Harry, but he had weird eyesight-based powers and a familiarity with The Shadow, so I assume it's the same character.

There was also Donald Jordan - Shadow Jr, and okay, I may have to talk more about this weird little failed experiment some other time, but the basic gist of it is that The Shadow had a friend in Tibet named Harry Jordan (and someday I'm also gonna write about the weird prevalence and significance of the name "Harry" in The Shadow's mythos in and out of universe) who was murdered, leaving his son orphaned and with nowhere to go. And, I'll admit that I have a real weakness for The Shadow calling people "son", which he does a lot in this story.

And as you can expect, it then turns out that the kid's also learned how to cloud minds and has basically the same powers The Shadow has in these comics, and they solve the mystery of his dad's murder together, and yeah, you can absolutely tell that they are setting up this kid to be The Shadow's Robin. Although, interestingly, they don't have The Shadow actually recruit the kid, instead it's Jordan who asks The Shadow if he can go with him and join his mission, and Cranston even states he's going to have to "earn" his way

"Must I stay here, sir? It will always remind me of dad - I'd like to devote my life to your fight against evil and evil doers!

Now, "Shadow Jr's" career was incredibly short-lived, it only lasted for about two other issues, and I have no idea what happened in his final appearence called "Snake Eyes" in Shadow Comics #77, I cannot find that issue anywhere and I really want to. But the one other solo story of his I've read was...well, I think it kinda illustrates why the idea of The Shadow having a Robin was doomed from the start.

...Yeah. Even The Shadow at his most sanitized and family friendly is still The Shadow, and there's no room for children in his network, obviously he shouldn't and wouldn't have children be in those positions or make decisions expected from grown-ups who have already had encounters with death and danger, why would anyone do that-

The only instance I can think of The Shadow interacting with a child in the pulps was during The Prince of Evil, when he has to rescue a young boy from Stark's thugs.

Cranston, dazed, tried to stagger to his feet. Before he could do so, the thug had picked up the limp figure of the boy and was darting out into the street. There was a scream of horror from pedestrians.

A heavy truck was racing at top speed along the avenue. Straight into the path of the truck, the thug threw the senseless boy!

The driver of the truck jammed on the brakes. But it was too late to halt the heavy vehicle. The broad-tired wheels rolled toward the limp head of the lad on the pavement.

An instant before it could crush out his life, Lamont Cranston dived headlong into the path of destruction. His shoulder struck the boy, rolling him toward the curb. A quick wriggle, and Cranston swerved aside from the grinding death that loomed over him.

He picked up the boy. One glance and he knew there was no time to lose. The attempted killer had leaped into a waiting sedan and had already made his escape.

The boy was all Cranston could see or think about. Brass knuckles had fractured his skull. He had suffered a concussion of the brain. A glance at his bluish lips and the fixed glaze of his staring eyes told Cranston that unless the boy was operated on immediately, he would die.

A leap, Cranston was in his car. He laid the boy gently on the seat beside him, then headed the car toward the nearest hospital. Traffic lights were ignored.

The boy was taken to an emergency operating room and a skilled surgeon went to work. When it was over, Cranston asked only one question: "Will the child live?"

"Hard to say. We'll do our best."

"Spare no expense. Put him in a private room. Engage day and night nurses."

Cranston's face was pale. He knew that he himself was indirectly responsible for the boy's attack. A supercriminal had made a prompt answer to Cranston's message over Jackson's telephone. That telephone must have been tapped. The attempt to kill the boy was a vicious warning for Lamont Cranston to mind his own business about the Harmon family. It was a follow-up of the attack on Jackson's dog.

Cranston felt a surge of hot anger. He kept it under control while he answered routine police questions. He told all he knew - which was nothing.

He had only one angry thought. He intended to drive straight to the office of David Chester. He'd get the truth out of the sleek Chester, if he had to batter him with vengeful fists!

Cranston was actually halfway to Chester's office before common sense returned to him. He realized he had lost his sense of balance. He was behaving exactly as the crooks wanted. He was playing their game, not his!

He parked, and the hot rage drained slowly from him. He stopped thinking about the limp figure of a young lad on a white operating table.

This is definitely because Tinsley writes the character differently than Gibson, but I actually cannot think of another occasion where we got to read about The Shadow actively wanting to hit someone with his fists. It's very, very rare to read about The Shadow actually getting mad in the first place in such an undignified way. And I think with this passage, you'll start to notice a pattern.

The problem isn't that The Shadow cannot interact with kids or that he can't comfort them, he does it to his agents and adults he wants to help just fine, he knows how to address people in their language, or any language. The problem is, The Shadow is constantly surrounded by danger everywhere he goes, because he is The Shadow. He can be any number of things at any number of occasions, but usually, when The Shadow shows up, it's usually because people are going to die, and people are going to kill, and it's his job to address that and work the scales.

Children should not be anywhere near this, and if The Shadow's interacting with a child, it usually means that some grave danger or tragedy fell upon them, and he's here to either prevent greater tragedy or address the fall-out, and he'd be the first to agree that neither of these options should be happening at all. It doesn't mean he's not gonna do what's right and give life and limb to protect them, but, it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to look after them in the first place. Maybe it shouldn't be up to the Boogeyman to protect us.

But then again, as I mentioned when I talked about my own reasons for liking The Shadow so much, there are many kids who would like nothing more than to have the Boogeyman by their side to protect them. There's comfort in knowing that the scariest man in the room is unconditionally there to protect you, and that is the comfort that The Shadow gives best. Not as Cranston, not under a friendly face, but as what he is.

Due to a lack of scenes from the pulps or satisfying scenes from elsewhere, I will instead be pulling one from a fan story written by Kimberly-Murphy Smith, editor and writer of The Hot Cornerm where The Shadow rescues a child who was kidnapped for blackmail. I couldn't care less that it's fanfic, and if you do, come back in 20 or so years after The Shadow's been made public domain and it's gonna be just as official as anything licensed (on my “to write about” list: how fickle the separation between “official” and “fanfic” is, and the many times it plainly didn’t exist). There’s aspects of her writing I don’t care for, but I really like this scene and I do think The Shadow’s more gentle interactions with people are necessary to getting the character.

Annabelle.

She stopped crying for a minute. "Who's there?" she said, her voice choked.

A friend. Your mommy and daddy sent me to pick you up.

"Mommy? Mommy's here?"

Sh-h-h. Annabelle felt a gloved hand gently stroking her hair. She's waiting for you at home. So, we need to hurry up and leave.

"'kay." She looked around. "Where are you?"

It's kind of hard to see me. It's dark in here, plus you've been crying so much your eyes probably hurt.

"Yeah."

Don't be afraid. I'm here to help.

"'kay."

The implicit trust of children was simply amazing at times. Adults trembled in fear of The Shadow's wrath, but children somehow seemed to understand that he was there to help them, even if they couldn't see him.

Sit up, Annabelle. I'm going to pick you up. Be very quiet.

One hand took each of her arms and guided them around a neck she could not see. "Why are you wearin' a blanket?" she asked as the fabric of his cloak brushed against her shoulders.

Sometimes I get cold at night.

"Even in the summer?"

Even in the summer. He gently stroked her cheek and wiped away her tears. Now, you need to be very quiet so those bad men in the next room don't hear us. I'll bet you're tired.

She nodded.

He rocked her on his arms, projecting a very gentle hypnotic relaxation into her with his powers as he did. You probably didn't get your nap, either. Poor thing. Lean on my shoulder and go to sleep. And when you wake up, you'll be back with Mommy and Daddy.

She yawned, then snuggled against his shoulder and went to sleep.

The Shadow sighed with relief. Now to get past the men out front. He gently pulled the pistol out of its holster under his left arm and slipped it into the belted waist of his overcoat within easy reach, then secured his grip on Annabelle and draped his cloak over her.

She clutched the edge of his cloak in her hand like a security blanket and snuggled against his shoulder again.

(Art by Jill Thompson)

#replies tag #the shadow #pulp heroes #fanfic #I think about the -Sometimes I get cold at night- response a lot #and how superhero capes can easily be likened to oversized blankets #and The Shadow is one of the main reasons why capes became so popular among American heroes #seriously you can see how practically overnight so many heroes at the time imitating The Shadow acquired capes #and what is a hero if not a childhood fantasy manifest #they are all just wearing blankets to battle #I think my posts are turning into too much of rollercoasters

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wacky-nameless-inventor-24 · 2 years ago

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For abandoned fic- Sadness

DAMN I GOT A LOT OF THESE TSYM YOU GUYS.

M'kay so I'm actually running out of snippets and google docs ruined my document outlines so its harder to find them -_-. SO I was going to put up another snippet of a fic I've already used for this but then I remembered this one that I haven't quiiiiiiite given up on yet, but I started it last September (oMFG SEPTEMBER WAS ALMOST A YEAR AGO????) and haven't really touched it since. It's based off of this idea, but (as far as I had planned at the time, it might change if I finish it) without the angsty part of Mads eventually fading away. This is one that I've been like "okay once I finish whatever fic I'm working on I'll go back to that one" and well... it's been almost a year now... XD

~~~

Everything had been going fine and well, before the last straw in Gyro’s mind hit.

The Spear of Selene incident.

Gyro had already lost Boyd, his mentor, and his family, and while he’d been able to somewhat grow past that, to heal a little, it still hurt.

Then he lost Della to space, Scrooge to guilt, and Donald to anger. The three people who’d been there for him over the last ten years.

And he was never able to see his best friend’s three kids hatch and grow up.

After that, Gyro found he didn’t care. Why should he? The Mad Ducktor was a part of him, it was about time he embraced it. He stopped fighting himself, and gave in peacefully whenever his malignant half arrived.

Which happened all too often after that.

It continued happening, until it all blurred together. He wasn’t simply Gyro anymore, he was the both of them, and the both of them were him. He constantly had another voice in his mind, and really, that just gave him someone to talk to during long spiteful nights in the lab. He threw himself into his work, because that was the only time when he didn’t feel anything. When he didn’t know if he was either one of them, when he could just be, and not wonder who was currently in power.

With Della gone, no one knew that Gyro wasn’t just Gyro. But at this point, did it matter? They were now the same person, and they both answered to Gyro, and they both introduced themselves as Gyro for the sake of simplicity. That name was much more notorious. People didn’t pay much attention to the inventor’s vengeful fuming or ranting, and if they did, they might’ve noticed that he occasionally referred to himself using plural words. Gyro would use ‘I’ and ‘me’ more often than not, while the Mad Ducktor would use ‘we’ and ‘our’ much of the time. Sometimes it was the easiest way for them to tell each other apart.

They’d settled on not telling others about or letting them figure out the Mad Ducktor’s existence; while that might earn Gyro more respect, it might make him hated by people, something neither of them wanted. So in the end, the secret of the Mad Ducktor was one they vowed to keep.

Then came the day that pushed the snowball down the hill, rolling into the massive ball of ice that would force the two of them apart once more.

Scrooge called Gyro into his office one morning, saying he had something he needed to tell the inventor. That’s when everything changed.

“I’m sorry, what?!” Gyro exclaimed.

“An intern?!” The Mad Ducktor repeated, appalled. “Why in Selene’s name would we get one of those?”

“Ah’m not getting an intern, only you are.” Scrooge pointed out, mistaking the 'we' in the Mad Ducktor’s sentence. “Because it’s about time ye had someone down there ta help. Ye cannae invent and keep up with all the cleanin’ and maintenance!”

“Yes, I can!” Gyro told him. “It’s worked for the last ten years!”

“But with the extra work ye’ve been doing, it’s not anymore. We’ll just try it out and see how it goes!”

“That’s what this is about,” the Mad Ducktor realized. “He’s worried about us.”

Gyro couldn’t help but agree. Over the last several months his sleep schedule had been getting worse, he would often lose track of time, skip meals, take on more work, and spend more time alone. But he wasn’t alone. At this point, he never was truly alone anymore. However, no one else could see that.

Aloud, the Mad Ducktor snapped angrily at Scrooge. “You don’t need to coddle me! I can take care of myself!”

“When did Aye ever say that?” Scrooge asked, but the Mad Ducktor knew he was right. “All Ah’m suggesting is you get some help around the lab.”

“This doesn’t feel like a suggestion,” Gyro pointed out.

“Fine, it’s not. Ye are going ta get an intern, whether ye like it or not.”

“I don’t.” Gyro grumbled.

“Too bad.” Scrooge sat back in his chair, looking through the letters on his desk. “Well, Aye’ll leave you to it…”

The Mad Ducktor stood, whirling on his heel and storming to the elevator. “Goodbye! Good luck!” Scrooge called after him.

Neither of them answered.

It took a few days to get everything set up, and eventually, the trickle of possible candidates arrived, each one coming in for a trial day, to see if they knew what they were doing and if they could get along with the scientist working there.

It was the fourth intern, and the one the Mad Ducktor disliked the most, that was chosen.

“I really don’t understand why you hate him.” Gyro thought as he was cleaning up the lab for the night. It was times like this when the two parts of him could talk, after a long day of mostly emotionless inventing, they were able to discern which was which, and they were able to be on level ground. The intern officially started work tomorrow. “I’m angry about this as well, I don’t want someone here with us, but I don’t necessarily dislike him as a person.”

“He’s too much like you,” the Mad Ducktor pointed out.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The inventor exclaimed, surprised. “I thought you liked me!”

“He’s too much like you were,” his evil half clarified. “Stupidly naive yet brilliant, kind, and practically lets people walk all over him. How did you turn out?”

Gyro paused, looking around at his dark and empty lab, the list of inventions that had turned evil could be seen peeking out from a slightly open drawer, and the list of weapons he wanted to construct written on a sticky note stuck to the computer’s monitor. “A genius scientist, known all across the globe, working for one of the most powerful businesspeople on Earth?”

“Darling…”

But Gyro knew what he meant. He sighed and walked to the computer monitor, pulling the sticky note off and sticking it to the list of evil inventions, before closing the drawer.

~~~

#quite proud of the symbolism in those last three paragraphs #thanks for the ask!#anon ask #Gyro Gearloose #Mad Ducktor #Fenton crackshell Cabrera #scrooge mcduck #della duck #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #DT17 #duckverse #wacky writes

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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One Year Anniversary: Top 12 Ducktales Episodes!

Happy anniversary all you happy people! Yes it was one year ago today I started reviewing animation and it’s been a ride to be sure. I’d always WANTED to be a reviewer: I love going on and on about stuff I love, really digging into it and picking it apart... but I could never get started. I tried youtube but I didn’t have the money for the equipment nor a proper shooting space to record, so my efforts.. were not great. And while I TRIED text reviews, my own looming pile of self hatred meant every attempt I made was shot down when it got hard as me not being good enough.

But one year ago I finally got past that. I’d already been reviewing a bit, doing invididual issues of comics... but got way in over my head trying to do the current line of X-Men comics as it came out, and wisely bowed out of that. But that left a gap: I had nothing to cover week to week and with a demanding new job, I drifted into just doing in charcter chats, little fan fictions script styles. Not bad work, I should do some more at some point and I even got a comissoin once in a while, but nothing I could really live on and not what I wanted to do with my life.

Enter Ducktales. I’d always WANTED to review the show.. and when the double premire happened, I decided fuck it, and put up my thoughts. And then decided.. hey maybe I can do this every week.. and slowly.. my work evolved, getting better and better, getting more and more likes. I picked up Amphibia when that came by week to week.

And eventually.. this went from a hobby, if one I was passionate about to a career. Not a largely paying one, as only one person was really intrested in paying me for it, friend of the blog and our fincial backer @weirdkev27, but .. it’s money and i’m now making about 30 dollars a month due to a comination of comissions and patreon. Other contributers are always welcome mind you, my patreon is here if your curious and comissions are 5 dollars an episode, but i’ts just nice to have money coming in. To have gone from simply WANTING to review things and make a living off it.. to simply doing it.

And it’s been one hell of a year.. and not just because 2020 felt like hell or 2021 began with a full on insurrection. I feel like i’ve acomplished a lot in the year i’ve been doing this: I finished what I started with Ducktales season 3, getting better and better as I went. And I didn’t stop there with ducks: I started covering what brought me to Ducks in the first place, the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, and while that retrospective has slid a bit on the schedule, I intend to get it back on track this month. I reviewed a bunch of Darkwing Duck episodes leading up to the Just Us Justice Ducks.. chronologically anyway. The actual airing order reads like someone took 50 issues of a comic, made it rain with them, then just started reading whatever ones they picked up randomly. I also covered some of Duck Master Carl Barks work with the classics Night on Bear Mountain, A Christmas for Shacktown and Back to the Klondike, with more to come.

And the Duck didn’t stop at just reviews I did on my own: Kev comissioned two MASSIVE retrospectives from me: My first for him was Ride of the Three Caballleros where in just a few short months I covered the boys entire televisied careers together from the movie, to house of mouse, to mickey and the roadster racers, to ducktales (again) and finishing with the wonderful Legend of the Three Caballeros. It has probably the worst Daisy imaginable, but otherwise is really excellent and i’m glad I finally watched it. I also covered Don Rosa’s two stories with the boys as part of it. It was a fun ride and I enjoyed every minute of it... okay most of them again Three Cabs Daisy is the worst. And once that finished Kev started up another idea: Shadow Into Light: a look at Lena’s character arc from start to finish that has gone on to be my most popular series on this blog, and that finishes next week. And there’s more to come as after that there’s a short breather with a look at Lilo and Stitch’s crossover episodes.. folllowed by me looking at all three of season 2′s ducktales arcs. And I fully intend to have covered every episode of the series by this time next year, so stay tuned.

Outside of ducks though I didn’t slow down. I restarted my Tom Lucitor retrospective, covering what i feel to be one of Star Vs’ two best characters, tied with eclipsa, and my personal faviorite as he redeemeed himself, found love and I bitched a lot about the horrible directions the series took and probabably will more as that’s still not done yet. I did what I always wanted to do and started looks at some of my faviorite comics ever, starting with Life and Times and adding in New X-Men and Scott PIlgrim. I also threw in the awesome comic Blacksad. I did pride month for the first time and not only came out publicly, but also did two whole arcs i’m proud of with The Saluna episodes of Loud house and the rednid episodes of OK KO, and generally just had myself a good old fashioned time as an out bi man reviewing childrens cartoons.

I started Season 2 of amphibia with it’s lows of an endlesss road trip and highs of adding Marcy to the cast and giving us more of the silky voiced keith david. And finally Patreon wise Kev’s taken me on a hell o fa journey: In addition to the restrospectives i’ve covered some additional darkwing duck, and a simpsons homage to the duck comics... but also got a bit weird and obscure with detours like the lost animnaics sucessor Histeria, the apocalyptic comedy where Santa dosen’t know how doors work Whoops! and the adventures of Santa’s bratty teen daughter jingle belle. In short.. it’s been a long year but damn has it been fun and there’s more to come. I’d like to thank all of you for reading, thank my Patreons Kev and Emma for supporting me, and thank my family for doing the same. So with that out of the way, I figured the best way to celebrate was to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time, something honoring the show that gave me this calling in the first place. And with Season 3 sadly being the last, and enough weeks having passed for me to digest it between the finale and today, I could think of nothing better than my top 12 episodes of Ducktales.

Ducktales is one of the best cartoons of the 2010′s. Brilliantly taking EVERYTHING that had come before, the comics, the original cartoon and every bit of duck media period to craft a masterful, unique and wonderful reboot. It was funny, it was insane, and it had damn good character arcs. By the end every member of the main cast along with major supporting cast members like Fenton, Drake and especially Lena, had changed and signifigantly at that. The show was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more and I miss it terribly, hoping DIsney will do a revivial movie at some point. For now though, Frank and Matt’s run on ducktales, as they called it and I do too since i’m a massive comic book nerd, it’s time to look back on my favorite tales of ducks. So grab your sharks, your number one dimes and your friendship cakes with clear gay undertones and join me under the cut as I celebrate one of my faviorite shows and my anniversary in the best way possible.

12. House of the Lucky Gander!

So as i’ve gone on about before and no doubt will again, Donald kinda got the short end of the stick in season 1. While Frank and Matt had good story intentions, keeping Donald away from adventure since he had no interest in it, in practice it meant a beloved Disney Icon who they and disney HEAVILY promoted as part of the series and whose being here this go round was a big draw for fans of the comics.... was only in a quarter of the season and only got TWO plots centered around him in 23 episodes, with only one being the main plot of the episode. The PIlot and Finale both centered around the family more as a whole if your curious how I counted those so while he got plenty of focus in both, it’s still not a day in the limelight sort of thing.

But unusually for Donald, he lucked out as his one big starring role for Season 1 was both one of my faviorites and one of Season 1′s most inventive outings. A lot of the episodes enegy comes from a one two punch of a great guest star and one of the series best settings. The guest star is of course everyone’s faviorite overly lucky himbo Gladstone Gander. The show adapted the prick perfectly: The original Gladstone from the comics.. was the worst asshole imaginable, utterly insufferable. And for a villian, and Donald’s rival, that’s all well and good.. but his super luck meant he RARELY , if ever, suffered any consequences for being just...

The 87 series simply made him nicer, while Going Quackers simply removed his luck. No adaptation really got how to make this fucker work.. until this one. Here Frank split the diffrence: Gladstone is still smug.. but he’s no longer actively malicious. While he is an insensitive prick to Donald in this one, unlike the comics he’s not constantly bragging about his luck or how great he is or actively BAITING Donald to fight with him or trying to ruin his relationship or a million other reasons he sucks and I hate him.

This version by contrast... is generous. He’s not the most empathetic, because he doesn’t get how life works, but he does share the riches of the casnio with everyone and in a cameo appearance in “Treasure of the Found Lamp” gladly offers his nephews some diamonds. He’s got a nice surface level charm to him that makes you understand why people like him.. but it’s also clear ther’es nothing UNDER that of value, making you equally understand why Scrooge and Donald hate him. Gladstone in this reboot is a perfect example of why we need reboots or new adaptations in the first place: Because sometimes the original got something wrong or something can be done much better by the new writers.

He’s perfectly paired with the setting: The House of Lucky Fortune, a mystical casino with an East Asian astatic based in the country of Macaw and provides two great plots. Donald’s really highlights his character: His understandable jealousy at gladstone earning the boys love through nothing while he struggles to make a living for them, and how he feels like a looser and like Gladstone is simply showing that off instead of just not knowing what empathy is. Having Louie be the one to bond with Gladstone was also just pitch pefefct, as is showing some depth for the boy by having himr ealize his hero is an asshole and be the one to help donald in the end.

The other plot is just pure joy though and is where the setting REALLY shines: Scrooge and the rest of the kids try to leave.. but can’t find the exit. This is where the creative part comes in: The Casino simply morphs to keep people trapped, and caters to them, giving them whatever they want to keep them trapped. In the cases of the kids it’s all hilarious and adorably in character: Huey becomes entranced by a fancy water show, in one of his best bits of the season, Dewey gets a pet tiger who sadly did not come home with him and Webby gets to live the dream we’ve all had of stuffing her face directly in a choclate fountain. Scrooge’s escape is likewise clever: He simply prepares to get a room.. then books it as the check in desk is ALWAYS near the front.

We then find out Gladston’es trapped get the whole mystical contest with absolutely gorgeous animation, i’ll talk about it in full some time but this episode is just a treat to watch, has a great arc for donald and had some memorable gags. I can’t help but smile when I watch it.

11. The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee! As I mentioned before i’m a superhero nerd so naturally Fenton was one of my faviorite parts of the show. Frank and Matt were just damn good at crafting superhero stories, and like gladstone improved fenton turning him from an awkward donald stand in to an awkward peter parker-esque science nerd who just wants to be a good person and the best hero he can be. He got into science not just because he thinks it’s neat, but because he honestly wants to help people and you can’t help but foot for him whenever he pops up. Lin Manuel Miranda is a large reason for that, bringing his incomparable a-game to the character. While we sadly didn’t get a ton of gizmoduck focused episodes, the fatct we got AS MANY as we did and that Lin didn’t drop out for a minute even with his busy schedule was a miracle and I’m acknowledging that.

As for why this one, I feel it builds brilliantly on the previous Fentoncentric episode Who Is Gizmoduck?! which just BARELY didn’t make this list and uses the fact we haven’t seen fenton in a while as both a plot point and to move some things forward without having to spend screentime they clearly didn’t have. By having Fenton be just burnt out on superheroics it finds a way to both explain where he’s been, he’s been busy with his new job, and give us an interesting angle to the old “superhero is tired of the life” thing. He never once complains about saving people or stuff... it’s just like any job it gets tiring after a while. As someone who has his dream job but has struggled with it from time to time, I vastly relate.

Though while I love my boy and Lin is game as always, the episodes real MVP is my other boy Huey. The episode has moved Huey up from being simply Fenton’s fanboy to being his best friend, and adorable as hell relationship. The two clearly respect and appricate each other and Huey is looking out for his buddy the whole episode. His love of love is also just really cute. Added in the mix is Webby, who in one of my faviorite gags of the series, finds out Fenton is Gizmoduck because Huey is incredibly and insanely blatant with his unecessary coverup. But she of course is game to help while Fenton is trying to play it casual. We also just get a waterfall of great gags as everyone overdoes it wingmanning for fenton: Huey sets up an itallian bistro and tries to purposfully create a lady and the tramp situation, and sings opera (With Manny on acordian), the wonderfully 80′s suit from Fenton’s dad his mom gives him to wear, and Launchpad, who gives us a tremendous list of his exes, and plays my favorite song of the series: It’s a Date, a micheal mcdonnel riff.

This episode also wisely ups Mark’s Beaks game as Fenton’s arch enemy, still keeping him hilaroius, with the guy acting like a bored teenager and guzzling so much nanite jucie he turns into a hulk, as well as said hulk mode leading to a ton of great gags from kidnapping the children (”I got your kids.. are they your kids? I don’t know how this family works), to “take that coach dad” to eating a pie with tins and all and wondering about said tins. But he’s an actual threat now, taking on fenton in one hell of a fight, and having an utterly transcendent scene where he hacks his way past gyro’s security while dancing.. and dabbing because of course he does. It’s a fun, well done character piece that’s mostly here for i’ts laugh but Fenton’s struggle with Gizmo overtaking his life, and finding out someone he truly hit it off iwth only wanted him for that.. it’s really good stuff and Lin’s delivery after Fenton finds out, the pure pain and betryal in his voice, is just excellent. Also that opera scene is poetry.

10. Quack Pack!

One of the episodes that started my career naturally landed here. Not for that reason though: Quack Pack is a fun riff on sitcoms, specifically the tgif ones of the 90′s that Disney Afternoon Kids no doubt also watched, the kinds Disney Channel still makes today, and most importanly the kind the Disney Afternoon itself made like Goof Troop and well... Quack Pack.

Riffs on sitcoms are nothing new and the last year has been FULL of them. 2020 gave us this episode, Beef House and the wonderful “The Perfect House” episode of Close Enough, and this year gave us WandaVision, my second favorite MCU project so far, right behind Black Panther, which used the sitcom deconstruction to create one hell of a character study.

So you’d think with a year having passed and this concept happening as an entire mini series would dull this one.. but no. it’s still damn funny, having fun at the cliches while, again like WandaVision, having one of the main cast be responsible by accident but go along with it. The episode pivots from glorious affectionate parody of cheesy sitcoms, to that plus horrifying “Humans”, and a character piece for Donald. This brings Donald’s hatred and fed up ness with adventure to a head revealing his fondest wish is just to have a normal life and not loose anyone again.

It takes one of his best friends to snap him out of it. Look Goofy is my second faviorite of the sensational seven, an episode with him was already an easy sell for me.. but the episode uses him really well. First for laughs as he’s gentically dispositioned to be a perfect sitcom neighbor.. but also for heart. With his family preoccupied and a bit hurt, i’ts Goofy who cuts to the heart of the issue, pointing out NO ONE is normal and even his normal domestic life raising Max, who we see go to prom with roxanne eeeeee, has all sorts of chaos. Normal is what you make of it and pining for some ideal that will never happen was just tearing donald apart piece by piece and by letting go of that.. he finally begins to grow as a person throughout the season. It’s also a great thematic tie in to the season’s overall plot with Bradford and what Makes donald, despite also disliking the chaos his family gets into, different. Donald accepted it and grew as a person.. Bradford clung to his hate and it ate him alive. Or turned him into a non-sapient kind of vulture. Before I close this part out Jaleel White is also excellent and I wish eh’d get back into voice acting. He’s so freaking good at it. Seriously man i’d love to see him and ben in a sonic property together as a mythology gag. Same with Jims cummings and carey. Just think about it whoever owns the sonic movies.. think about it.

9. The Last Adventure!

Look I knew this was coming, you knew this was coming. But it had to be on here. The Last Adventure is not perfect: The lack of a build up episode like the previous two finales had really hurt this one: even at about 70 minutes, it still feels rushed in places and Huey, one of hte main characters of the season, dosen’t feel like he has a full payoff to his character like Dewey and Louie got.

But despite those flaws.. this episode is just a damn good ending. Almost everyone gets a big moment paying off their character arc, everyone in the party that comes to rescue webby and huey, along with the two themselves, gets a moment to show off, and everything comes together to give us one last epic sendoff. There’s just moment stacked on moment stacked on moment from Launchpads heroic second wind and donning of the gizmoduck armor, to Webby’s tearful confrontation with Beakley, to Huey using the greatest adventure of all line to foil bradford in one of the most deligfhully nuts moments of the series, I could go on for days with just how triumphant this finale felt. While it left a lot of doors open.. that feels like part of the design. It’s the end of the fight with FOWL.. but our heroes will never stop adventuring, never stop going and never stop being in our hearts and the curtain call at the end is now my faviorite bit of end credits ever, perfectly giving the main cast and friends one last chance to take a bow in their own unique ways. I will always miss this show but I will never be disapointed by the note it went out on.

8. The 87 Cent Solution!

Look some episodes are show stoppers, some are heartfelt tearjerkers, some are all this and more.. and some episodes are just clever and hilarious. The 87 Solution is the second funniest episode of Ducktales with me and my go to episode when watching the show. It’s just pure fun and with a clever premise: Scrooge notices 87 cents have gone missing, and already coming down with a cold, goes mad with paranoia as the kids slowly don face masks, something that has become even eeerier given everything, one by one realizing he needs to stop.

While David Tennant is an EXCELLENT dramatic actor, his comedy timing is really something that shoudln’t be ignored and i’ts on full display here as his performance gets more and more deranged, to thep oint he thinks an 8th dimensional imp is repsonsible. He nicely balances the disturbing side of Scrooge’s paranoia, his distancing from his family, with plenty of great gags about it too, the standout being when he offers 2 million dollars to whoever took the money like he’s publicly appeasing kidnappers. It’s fucking brilliant.

But while David is awesome as ever what really, truly makes the episode is my boy, one of my faviorite characters on the show if not my single faviriote FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Keith Ferguson is ALWAYS a dream as the character but this is his best performance by far. Part of this is the addition of Zan Owlson, Kev who I mentioned earlier’s faviorite Ducktales character. She’s not only throughly likeable in her own right, but provides the one thing Flinty was missing; a straight man.. or woman in this case. Scrooge wasn’t TERRIBLE in the roll, but can easily step away from his shit or foil it. Owlson has to put up with Glomgold’s nonsense while desperatly trying to stop him from undoing all her hard work with sheer force of jackass. The two jut play off each other brilliantly, Glomgold not getting sh’es not his employee but his equal and Owlson constnatly snarking at him.

And of course both things hit their peak in the climax with the family staging a fake funeral (Though no one told donald it was fake), and we get the funniest scene in the entire fucking show as Glomgold burts in in a white suit, money shades and full dance number to “All I Do Is Win’, which when first watching this I was convinced the song was somehow accidnetly on in the background but nope. They got it after using it in the test phase and the scene is better for it. Glomgold twerking on Scrooge’s casket, trying to get on it to dance, and having to be placated like ac hild is the icing on this very rich cake

And the reveal scene is also gold as Glomgold gets into a YEARLONG staring contest with a baby, fails to steal more than the 87 cents and, in my faviorite touch, put on an imp costume just to make scrooge seem crazier... then keeps the damn thing on the rest of the time for no explicable reason. The episode is the show at it’s comedic peak while giving Glomgold a chance to be a genuine threat and that’s Glomgood.

7. Let’s Get Dangerous!

Frank’s Rebooted Version of Darkwing Duck is probably his greatest achivment with the show. While this show is a team effort, something I slowly realized as I reviewed the show, it’s very clear from the way he talks, how well he knows the show and how much effort was put into porting Darkwing into the reboot that this was his baby. While redefining ducktales for the 2010′s was clearly a huge dream of his... doing the same for the master of suprise was an even bigger goal. And as a huge fan of superheroes i’ve seen my fair share of half assed takes on laired and complex characters. The XCU alone is one giant grab bag of missed opportunities for me.

So i’ts no exageration when I tell you Frank.. nailed it. In one of the most brilliant moves i’ve seen for a superhero work Frank worked his love of the show into the reboot.. by having Darkwing have been a show, one Launchpad loved.. and so did Drake, who was inspried by the show to become an inspriation himself and while his attempt to do that through a zack snydery reboot failed, Launchpad encouraged him to do it for real. Drake was still himself, but the meta aspect and the toning down of some of darkwing’s more obnoxious traits that didn’t work in a universe that, while patently rediciulous still took it’s characters seriously, he made a BETTER version of the character.

This is where all that comes to it’s peak, and hoppefully convinced Disney to let Frank , and possibly matt, run the reboot. And no, even if Point Grey is producing that dosen’t stop that: Thanks to Invincible i’ve now realized that Seth and his friend Evan producing the show dosen’t mean it’ll be RAN by them, nor unrelated to this. It just means their helping make it and if anything given how lush and gorgeous invincible’s animation is, it’s a VERY good sign their helping out with it if it’s true.

But wether this versoin continues or not, Frank gave it his best shot. Part of his diffrent angle is having Drake as a rookie here and as such here we see him truly struggle: he’s had his origin, he ahs the cape, he has the gadgets (in a brilliant turn thanks to fenton, who he actually likes... but is so far the ONLY person to not get he’s Gizmoduck), and the city.. but no crime to fight and no real idea how to go about his lifelong dream. The events of the episode slowly shape him: WHile he already had the spirit for darkwing, never giving up, looking good in a cape etc, this episode gives him the heart the same way it gave his original it: With Gosalyn. Dimantopolis and Beatriz just play off each other perfectly, as the two go from neimies to slowly bonding as Drake realizes this kid needs him and that he needs to fight for more than just filing the ohle inside, and goes to hell and back to help her get her grandpa back, with one of the best moments of the episode to me being when Launchpad helps her realize how hard he’s been working at it, an exausted drake refusing to acccept that he can’t get her grandpa back because he promised. He grows from simply trying to live the dream.. to surpassing the original. We also see more from Launchpad, who grows into his new family and helps push his boyfriend and newa dopted daughter in the right directions. The episode really evolves these characters from the simple disney afternoon versions, who while awesome were made into fully fleshed out characters. Gosalyn still has her edge but now has a hard lesson to learn about doing the right thing, forced to give up someone she loves for the greater good but finding a new family in the process.

Part of what makes the episode work though as while it is funcitonally one big darkwing duck reboot pilot that’s awesome, heartrending and a joy to watch... it’s still a ducktales episode in parts without either part hurting each other. Huey plays a vital role, figuring the ramrod is too good to be true.. and discovering just how it is, then when captured, slowly unravling why Bradford’s there and being at least in part responsible for outing him as a FOWL agent. While this is largely Drakes story the rest of the cast is still vital to it: Scrooge trusting in huey, Louie serving as his logical counter and Dewey meanwhile bonding with team darkwing and helping Gosalyn, knowing exactly where she’s been and providing a nice foil. The episode is just one long and impressive love letter to the original show while creating it’s own thing and that’s really this reboot in a nutshell. It also has some of the best fights of the series, with the first fight between darkwing and bulba, where our hero, unlike his original counterpart, easily troucnes bulba using his speed and skill, is the standout.

6. Woo-Ooo!

I covered this one recently so I won’t go on for too long.. but I will say I hold this one up as the gold standard for first episodes. In one hour, hell even in jus the first half we get a sense of the whole cast, the tone of the show, and the world we’ve been thrust into. It gets all the table setting out of the way by weaving it into a compelling story of Scrooge getting back in the game, finding a reason to get back to what he does best in those he loves most and setting up the season long arc effortlessly in the process. The worst I can say about the episode is it sets the bar a bit high for Season 1 and a lot of the first half really struggled to reach these heights. This episode is a masterwork and the perfect showcase for what the series would be at it’s height.

5. Moonvasion!

Speaking of Golden Standards, Moonvasion is one of the best season finale’s i’ve seen. it’s not THE best.. but that’s a really high bar to clear and that spots currently taken in my heart by “The Crossroads of Destiny” from Avatar the Last Airbender. But while not the best of it’s kind, it’s sitll the best the series put out and is an utterly satisfying epic that ties up season 2.

While I love the Last Adventure, it had a LOT to tie up and was really hampered by having to do all of that with no direct lead in. Moonvasion by contrast hits the ground running with the Moonlanders arriving on earth and all hell breaking loose, and the episode itself breaking into two stellar plots. Scrooge leading an army of every ally he has against the invaders, and Della seemingly going for reinforcements.. but really just trying to keep the kids safe from it, to their anger once they find out.

Both sides end up going badly: Scrooge looses most of his army as Lunaris was one step ahead of him and is left iwth Beakly and Launchpad, while Della ends up marooned.. and finds Donald. The reunion between the two is the highlight of the special, as the two argue as you’d expect (And Dewey cutting in seemingly to stop it.. only to rant at Donald for costing him “ten years of turbo” is the best gag of the episode), before embracing.

Our heroes naturally find ways to bounce back though. Louie, capping off his growth for the season, convinces his mom they can’t just hide.. and in the second best scene of the episode sings the lullabye she wrote.. one Donald sung them every night

And no sooner than Della gets her step back and realizes that dangerous or not she and her newly reunited family have to get back in there, do the cousins show up on Fethry’s giant shrimp/girlfriend Mitzi, and our heroes head back.

Scrooge’s plot hits i’ts peak though as he’s forced to accept the help of an unlikely and unwelcome ally: Glomgold, who turns out to be exactly what they need: While his plan is as stupid, short sighted and insane as you’d expect, complete with forcing Scrooge to dress up as santa just to piss him off and dressing his sharks in parkas (”I call them sharkas”), the sheer lonacy throws Lunaris off as he dosen’t know how to deal with this and Glomgold not only gets the better of him but gets his company back as part of his scheme. “You were prepared for our best but not our dumbest!” “And i’m the dumbest theirs ever been! Muahahahaha! Wait...”

And of course our other heroes arrive just in time to save things.. and the episode still manages to pull off what many works struggle to, something tha’ts very hard to: a SECOND climax. Lunaris decides to just say fuck it and blow up the earth and i’ts up to our core family to kick his ass in space. Epic space battles, Della’s girlfriend meeting the family and more insues and an emotoinal, action packed and fully satisfying finale is had by all... and it’s all topped with one of the best sequel hooks i’ve ever seen as FOWL makes themselves known to us.. and prepares to strike.

4. How Santa Stole Christmas! This one will also be short as i’ve talked about this one.. a lottttt. The initial review, my best christmas specials list and my best of 2020 list. I stand by all of that: this is a unique and wonderful christmas special, i’ll be watching it every year, and i’ts full of charm, humor and gay subtext. In short it’s this series but on christmas footing.

3. Last Crash of the Sunchaser!

Another one I covered very recently, this episode is a master piece of suspense, slowly building tension as our heroes get closer and closer to the truth about Della.. and to death, the simple but deadly stakes making this an absolute nailbiter from start to finish. This is some of the series best pacing bar none... but what seals it is the ending: the masterful flashback finally explaning whatever happened to Della duck, our heroes lashing out at each other.. all cumilating in the best Scene of the show. I said it might be in the review but no I can confirm: Scrooge bitterly ruminating over things while we find out just how much he’s lost... ending with him tearfully and angrily sitting once again alone in one hell of a powerful shot echoing Scrooge’s first apperance. Damn fine stuff.

2. Escape from The Impossbin Only one episode not only matches Last Crash in mounting tension and atmosphere but suprasses it. With FOWL and Bradford’s true nature now out in the wind, this episode uses that to create tension and rattles it’s two most unshakable characters: SCrooge’s normal boundless confidence is shot, not sure he can win this time against an opponent who knows him as well as he knows himself while Beakly slowly unravels, pitting Webby against the boys.. and pitting herself against Webby when Webby sees her terroizing them is only dividing them. Both plots start out funny enough but slowly escalate in tension and stakes until by the end your on the edge of your seat. The Beakly plot is the standout of the two, giving Bentina the starring role she badly needed, having gotten even better in light of the finale. Everyone is at the top of their game and everything builds up to one hell of a twist ending and one hell of a badass boast from our heroes: Their down.. but their far from out and this is far from over.

1. Nightmare On Kimotor Hill!

I”ll be reviewing this episode in full later this week as part of my Lena retrospective, but I stand by putting it up top. This episode is ducktales in it’s purest form and focuses on it’s best original character as Lena grapples with her self hatred and her past. That core helps anchor an amazing concept: going into the Kid’s dreams and finding out their greatest desires. The results.. are all gloriously rediclous and are easily the best gags of hte series as a whole: Dewey’s high school musical santa claus is going ot high school nonsense from getting a’s in Dewology to running away from the abstract concept of a love intrest, to not getting the sybolism of himself crying a moon made of his own tears. Louie quite literally becoming garfield, and my faviorite scene of the show: Huey, wanting to be the tall older brother..g iving himself horrifcly long leg. While everyone else is just understandably baffled, what makes the scene is the banter between Dewey and Huey, with Schwartz and Pudi at their best as Dewey first freaks out and then asks what the hell man, while Huey defends his weird decision (”I”m not good at imagination stuff okay!”), and then tries to get a jar of pickles. Each dream is just so oddly and wonderfully specific to each kid and each one of the triplests dreams, as well as violets being color coded down tot he backgrounds is a very nice touch. The visuals here are just peak ducktales, using the setting for all it’s worth and the climax is utterly emotoinal and heartbreaking... and Lena’s break from her abuser, finally realizing she has the power now is not only a wonderful metaphor... but also just so damn cathartic. And that’s why this one’s the best to me personally: it just packs so much into 20 minutes: some of the series best and most creative jokes, a gripping emtoinal arc, and so much more. It’s just that damn good and tha’ts why it’s the best... that and starting Huelet for me. Seriously that LIbrary scene is so fucking cute.

Thank you all for reading. If you liked this artcle, join my patreon and help me get to my stretch goal for monthly darkwing duck reviews, a review of super ducktales and more after! Until the next rainbow... it’s been a pleasure.

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vivithefolle · 4 years ago

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Vivs, I came across this from a "Ron's a jealous slacker" fan, please use your expertness to contradict this stupid statement. Y do ron stans refuse to accept that he just wanted attention without actually doing any hardwork! Didn't he just desire being a headboy & a quidditch captain? He would have achieved it if he would stop being a self piting, lazy person & actually study or practice to achieve his dreams! he doesn't deserve any sympathy we live in actual world where hardwork matters only.

The funniest thing about this is that they’re actually talking about Harry.

Harry actually never did put in effort to achieve things. Except this once when he mastered the Patronus at 13, we’ll give him that. But Quidditch? Oh he just hops on a broom and woah suddenly he’s flying so well he’s in the Quidditch team and gets a great broom and is totally the bestest and a total fucking Mary Sue! Fighting against Voldemort? Well thank god for Loveus Ex Machina that always saves your ass without ever making you lift a finger ever! And how he defeated Voldemort too? With a spell he learned in second year and he only won that fight because ~surprise~ Voldemort’s wand wasn’t okay with killing Harry for bullshit plot reasons. Amazing. Wonderful. Inspiring. Our hero, everyone, never actually worked for anything a day in his life, ever.

Meanwhile Ron? Actually worked hard to get on the Quidditch team, which was something he dreamed of. Actually moved his ass to learn to fight and didn’t have the luxury of ~lurrrrve~ to excuse him out of fights. Ron actually did MORE than Harry ever did, but of course, protagonist-centred favouritism paired with mindless Harmonian propaganda won’t let you realize that because it’s just so much easier to imagine yourself as ~the special one :))~.

...

Ron is lazy you say.

Did he really believe he was better than Ron? No, said the small voice defiantly. Was that true? Harry wondered, anxiously probing his own feelings. I’m better at Quidditch, said the voice. But I’m not better at anything else. That was definitely true, Harry thought; he was no better than Ron in lessons. But what about outside lessons? What about those adventures he, Ron, and Hermione had had together since they had started at Hogwarts, often risking much worse than expulsion? Well, Ron and Hermione were with me most of the time, said the voice in Harry’s head. - Order of the Phoenix, chapter 9

Harry must be lazy too then.

Ah, but Harry’s word isn’t enough, since, after all, he does say himself that Hermione is like his sister, yet there’s a bunch of irreducible folks who insist on disregarding their hero’s agency whenever it is convenient for them. Therefore let’s go grab quotes that will settle the matter once and for all:

Ron had taken over responsibility for Buckbeak's appeal. When he wasn't doing his own work, he was poring over enormously thick volumes with names like The Handbook of Hippogriff Psychology and Fowl or Foul? A Study of Hippogriff Brutality. He was so absorbed, he even forgot to be horrible to Crookshanks. - Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter 15

Doing his own work AND working on something that won’t give him extra credit once Hermione finally swallowed her pride and apologized (for the first and last time in the books). But yeah totally lazy blah blah blah.

“But what have you got your broom for, you haven’t been flying, have you?” Harry asked. “I — well — well, okay, I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh, all right?” Ron said defensively, turning redder with every second. “I-I thought I’d try out for Gryffindor Keeper now I’ve got a decent broom. There. Go on. Laugh.” “I’m not laughing,” said Harry. Ron blinked. “It’s a brilliant idea! It’d be really cool if you got on the team! I’ve never seen you play Keeper, are you good?” “I’m not bad,” said Ron, who looked immensely relieved at Harry’s reaction. “Charlie, Fred, and George always made me Keep for them when they were training during the holidays.” “So you’ve been practicing tonight?” “Every evening since Tuesday... just on my own, though, I’ve been trying to bewitch Quaffles to fly at me, but it hasn’t been easy and I don’t know how much use it’ll be.” Ron looked nervous and anxious. “Fred and George are going to laugh themselves stupid when I turn up for the tryouts. They haven’t stopped taking the mickey out of me since I got made a prefect.” - Order of the Phoenix, chapter 13

……………. Well damn. Remember how hard Harry had to train to get the Seeker position?

Oh that’s right, I forgot: HE DIDN’T! Because Chosen One Boy-Who-Lived poor orphan protagonist blah blah.

Ron though? Ron WORKED to get his position. Ron practiced, Ron worked out a way to practice alone by enchanting stuff to fly to him. When did Harry do that? Ah yes, he didn’t, because he had Oliver coaching him so he never had to figure out how to train by himself.

Meanwhile Ron was reading two years of Charms notes with his fingers in his ears, his lips moving soundlessly; Seamus was lying flat on his back on the floor, reciting the definition of a Substantive Charm, while Dean checked it against The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5; and Parvati and Lavender, who were practicing basic loco-motion charms, were making their pencil cases race each other around the edge of the table. Dinner was a subdued affair that night. Harry and Ron did not talk much, but ate with gusto, having studied hard all day. Hermione, on the other hand, kept putting down her knife and fork and diving under the table for her bag, from which she would seize a book to check some fact or figure. Ron was just telling her that she ought to eat a decent meal or she would not sleep that night, when her fork slid from her limp fingers and landed with a loud tinkle on her plate. - Order of the Phoenix, chapter 31

Another one for “EW FOOD HOW DARE THESE TEENAGERS EAT, DISGUSTING”, and also oh, surprise, Ron actually worked. Incredible. Can you believe. Isn’t he supposed to be lazy. Woah. I totally and utterly did not expect this at all.

Of course I must bring up something else -

“How many hours d’you think you’re doing a day?” he demanded of Harry and Ron as they queued outside Herbology, a manic gleam in his eyes. “I dunno,” said Ron. “A few...” “More or less than eight?” “Less, I s’pose,” said Ron, looking slightly alarmed. “I’m doing eight,” said Ernie, puffing out his chest. “Eight or nine. I’m getting an hour in before breakfast every day. Eight’s my average. I can do ten on a good weekend day. I did nine and a half on Monday. Not so good on Tuesday — only seven and a quarter. Then on Wednesday —” - Order of the Phoenix, chapter 31

Okay first off - Ron estimates his study time to be “a few [hours]”. That’s more than I ever did for my own exams and wouldn’t you know it, I passed them.

Second off: THIS CONVERSATION IS CLEARLY MEANT TO BE HUMOROUS AND YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE SAME REACTION AS RON.

As in “holy shit this guy is insane”.

To top it off, here’s also Harry’s reaction in case some people still care about their hero’s agency:

Harry was deeply thankful that Professor Sprout ushered them into greenhouse three at that point, forcing Ernie to abandon his recital.

Harry isn’t impressed. Harry isn’t awed. Harry isn’t filled with sudden godly inspiration to “ditch Ron and join a study group and become the smartestest in the school!!!”

No, Harry doesn’t care for studying and spending hours bending over a book. Harry would like to pass his exams and then never think about them again.

But the only thing Harry felt he was really good at was Quidditch. In the end, he chose the same new subjects as Ron, feeling that if he was lousy at them, at least he’d have someone friendly to help him. - Chamber of Secrets

Harry wouldn’t have expected Ron to help him had Ron never helped him before. So we can extrapolate that not only does Ron does his homework, but he will also take time and effort to help Harry out if need be.

But of course Harry doesn’t need or care for Ron totally absolutely of course yes. (Another one for the “Harry picks Ron over Hermione” guys!!! Canon is on our side, sorry not sorry!)

...

Also, let it be said:

we live in actual world where hardwork matters only

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Look at Kim Kardashian, at Donald Trump, at basically any billionaire. Did they really do any hard work, or did they build their whole career out of exploitation, cheap scandals and their parents’ already-existing fortune?

In our world, Harry would be rich because Mummy and Daddy left him a trust fund, Hermione would have Mummy and Daddy’s money to help her get by until she can find some dead-end job she hates because the job market is shit, and poor Ron would be stuck in poverty because he was poor to begin with and getting out of poverty is much, much harder than getting rich.

#vivi answers #ask #harry potter critical #hp meta #hp fandumb #harry potter series #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad

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thebrownssociety · 3 years ago

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i noticed that in a past post you had mentioned daffy was in the front lines of world war 2. how was that like? how did toons particularly handle war?

Not particularly well. Toons are not designed for war, they're designed to make people laugh. Added to that that most of the toons were very young [under 15] when they were sent to the front and the story gets sadder.

Warnings: Mention of War and descriptions of PTSD [I have done research, but this is Toon version, so it's not going to tally exactly with humans]

Disclaimer - this is a headcanon. I have mentioned the companies here and Walt Disney [briefly] stating the obvious, it's all made-up.

All of the companies involved did there best to help/protect the toons as best they could. None of the female or children toons were allowed to go and there was a limit on how old the 'adult' toons had to be before they could go. That ended up being 5. The companies wanted 10, the Military wanted three, five was a compromise - although the companies had to fight hard to get that. In the end it boiled down to 'Either five, or they don't go at all'. The companies also re-negotiated the initial year the toons would be away down to 6 consecutive months. The companies wanted three months, so it was another compromise.

Stating the obvious, none of the toons enjoyed it much. Even the ones who thought they would thrive [Like Donald, Yosamite Sam and other 'tough' toons] found it difficult. Not to say they don't remember some bits of it fondly, mainly the comradeship they found, but for the most part it was hell on earth. After the first lot of Toons who's gone in the first month [about 30, mainly background toons, Prince Florian and Sylvester] came back from the front they looked so pale and ghostlike [visually, a shell of there former selves] that none of the others wanted to go and the companies tried to pull them out of it. [This being near the end of 1943] But they weren't allowed to, so the toons had to go.

The time the toons were fighting was 'only' Jan 1943 - end of war, Sep 1945, and the toons were only there for 6 months, but it was a long, terrifying 6 months.

The weird thing was that after the first initial couple of months while there coulor came back and they looked more life-like again, they seemed okay. Really! They could still act - and act well - they joked with each other in a normal manner and they talked to people. Sure, there were a few of them showing more difficulties adjusting - like Daffy who was acting paranoid and was constantly on the edge and Donald who's already-existing anger issues went through the roof, not to mention Elmer who was mute for a few months after coming back and Pete [Disney] who locked himself away and wouldn't come out, not to mention the at least 30 of background toons who were all showing extreme level of difficultly, but, hey, that was only a couple of toons, right? In the grand scheme of things. The rest of them were fine.

They were not fine.

It took a good couple of years [between 5-10] But eventually the cracks started showing. The Toons who had fought in the war started reacting weirdly to loud noise. Jumping onto the ceiling and refusing to come down, hiding under things and in things [like jugs and cups and cracks in the wall] whenever they thought they were under attack. They were having frequent, intense nightmares and a lot of the toon were displaying mental health issues like paranoia and splitting themselves in two [literally. It depended on the toon as to what exactly the personalities looked like, but as a general guide they'd be one 'young' one from around the time they were first created and another one that was closer to there normal age, but looked and acted completely different. Doctor Scratchesniff theorised it's what the toons worse fears about themselves are, visualised and brought to life.]

The toons were also having flashbacks to the war, which is bad enough on its own, but because they're toons the flashbacks literally engulfed them and whoever was near, drawing them into a world that they hadn't been in for about five-ten years. This, as you can probably imagine, was quite a major problem so the three major studios - Disney, Warner Bros's and Hanna-Barbera - put there heads together and came up with a solution, and that solution came in the form of Doctor Scratchensniff. [I do have a separate headcanon on him, covered in my 'Mental-Health' headcanon] The idea was that D.S. would work across all three studios and have enhanced toon powers.

While it's well known that a lot of Toons have been affected by the war, I'll go through a few of the toons that [I headcanon] have had the most noticeable difficulties after the war.

Daffy - He now goes back and forth between his 40's characterisation [screwball, Clampett version] and his greedy-jerkass characterisation in later years. The way it works is he will be the 'sensible' persona of the Greedy Daffy for most of the year [who, for all his faults, does care about his friends/family and can take care of Plucky easily], then he will suddenly switch back to his 40's persona. [Who, although he does still care for his friends/family, he can't express it as well and he has NO IDEA who Plucky is.]

After a bit of help and counselling from D.S. he has identified his major triggers [and Daffy has informed the rest of the LT's so they're aware of them]. For example, flying a plane will instantly put him back in the 40's mindset. For a time it was flying in general that put him in the mindset [which was fun when the LT's went to Australia] but now Daffy's okay with it and can manage small journeys easily. Longer journeys he struggled with, but he simply doesn't go on long plane journeys.

He also doesn't like Toons taller than himself getting in his face, [much taller, I mean. Bugs is alright.] He'll go into 'Fight' mode and try to attack them. Non-expected loud sounds like a car backfiring or fireworks can also remind him of war. Daffy's reaction when he hears something that he's not sure of what it is, it to try and find it and attack it. Either that or he would teleport away to a small space [like a jug, under a staircase or a crack in the wall] and not come out until Avery/Elmer/Porky calmed him down. [Bugs does try, but Daffy tends to get more wound up whenever Bugs tries anything, so the rabbit had to stop.]

Donald - I'm not going to spend long on Donald, mainly because his issues have [I'm fairly certain] been touched on in canon? His triggers are a lot like Daffy's except that Donald is MUCH more likely to try and attack anything he thinks is a threat rather than run away from it. He has inadvertently hurt [both physically and mentally] people he cares about by doing this, but they understand the reason why. Doesn't necessary make it easier, but they understand.

The main difference between him and Daffy though is that Donald has always wanted help. Ever since he realised he was hurting the people he loved, he wanted help. He had time off from work, Scrooge stepped in and insisted Donald and the boys move in with him so he didn't have to worry about a roof over his head and getting food and stuff. [Unfortunately this genuine well-meant, kind act only added to Donald's general feeling of uselessness]

The good news was that not only did Donald have extended family support, but he was best friends with Mickey and Goofy. Mickey was able to lean in Walts ears and convince him to treat Donald more leniently than he might have other toons, he also did his best to help Donald come to terms with what had happened to him during the war. Goofy could - in theory - do a lot less than Mickey, but he WAS more available and completely willing to take the boys off him for a couple of hours/days/weeks if needed. Goofy can cook - and cook well - so he'd bring food over for Donald so that if [as happened often] he didn't feel like cooking he'd have something ready to heat up/put in the oven.

Elmer - Some of the toons when they were put in charge of there units got on quite well, in that they had men who were willing to listen to them, and treated them kindly. Elmer's troop wasn't like that. He was very young when he was sent there [8] and was still more like Egghead. A bit silly, a bit hyper and not as hard as he needed to be. He cried the first time he went into battle and had a lot of trouble trying to gain the respect of his men. This has had a knock-on effect in that he thought everyone around him hated him and didn't like him. Even when he went back to Toontown, he just thought all his friends/family were being nice to him because they had to, not because they genuinely liked him.

Over many years Elmer has come to accept this isn't true and has been in therapy with D.S. in order to discuss it further. On a different note the main immediately noticeable difference upon coming back from war [aside from the fact he was mute for about two months] was that he started sleepwalking. His sleep had never been great at the best of times, but the war gave him such bad nightmares that he hardly ever slept. When he did eventually get to sleep, he started sleepwalking. Elmer being Elmer somehow didn't notice this at first? He thought it was completely normal [?] to start the night in your bed and wake up in Toon-World Australia having somehow swam his way across the ocean and hacked his way through the Australian outbacks to the middle off Australia, while asleep. He then had to spend several days trying to get back to Looney-Tune Street. With this in mind, it was really only a matter of time until it was noticed by the others.

They do there best to look out for him, if one of the LT's see Elmer sleepwalking, they will follow him/go with him and try to look after him. It should be noted though that despite the fact Fudd is clearly asleep, he is somehow aware of his surroundings and should someone attack him he will fight back and, most times, win.

#Looney Tunes Ask #Looney Tunes #Donald Duck #Daffy Duck #Elmer Fudd #Yosemite Sam #Headcanons #Mickey Mouse #Goofy #Disney Headcanons #Looney Tunes Headcanons #PTSD #Scrooge McDuck

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tiifalockhart · 4 years ago

Text

Memory

Anonymous asked: May I get a Sora x female reader oneshot? One where the reader forgets about what they’ve done and their adventures. This hurts Sora because he loves the reader so much.

Pairing: Sora x Reader

Word count: 1k

Warnings: amnesia, mentions of anxiety, extreme measures, mentions manipulation

A/N: hellooo here’s another KH one shot for you!! I hope you enjoy reading it hehe

Ao3 || Masterlist

It had been so long since you lost your memory.

It’s hard to watch someone you loved become a stranger from something out of your control. It was unexplainable, it seems like one day you just woke up without a single memory of what’s happened so far. After everything you’ve been through, after everything you all have been through, you couldn’t remember a single thing. It was... Devastating for some, it completely destroyed Sora though.

The two of you went through everything together basically. You were his shoulder to cry on, and he was your shoulder to cry on. You both fought endlessly for this... This freedom, but you would never know how bittersweet it all was. Sora found himself wondering where it all went wrong. What happened to you? How did you lose your memories? The only person he could think to consult was Naminé, but she was still being restored in the labs of Radiant Garden.

No one could really come up with an explanation for what happened. Even Ienzo and Ansem were at a loss. No one could wrap their mind around it. How did you suddenly lose all of your memories?

Sora remembered the first instance when you seemed off. He, Donald and Goofy were joking around per usual. They were in the middle of musing about a past joke they came up with in the Toy Box when Sora turned to you. “You remember that, right?” He asked between joyous chatter and laughs. Your face remained blank for the most part, besides an awkward chuckle leaving your lips.

“Oh... Yeah, I think so.” You replied, seeming to not find it as humorous as them. Sora grew concerned quickly. Had he done something to upset you? Maybe the joke wasn’t that funny... Ah, but you would at least try to laugh, right?

Since that day, Sora noticed how you became more and more like a stranger. It was hard to watch. Each memory mentioned around you was completely lost. He couldn’t bring himself to mention it anymore. Surely, he could just replace those old, lost memories into new ones, right?

In order for that to be possible, though, Sora had to be more than just a stranger. Unfortunately for the both of you, you hardly knew who Sora was. The last thing you remembered of him was meeting him for the first time, but in your mind, that was simply a small conversation. Your mind went blank after that.

Sora found it hard to relate to you at all. There were no more inside jokes, there were no more mutual friends, there were no more mutual feelings. He missed the days where the two of you would lay together in endless fields of flowers, giggling and talking. He missed those days where you would share snacks from every kind of world, how you would wipe the crumbs off of his face. He missed fighting alongside you, no matter how scary the enemy was, you seemed completely fearless.

He missed you. The old you.

It nearly brought him to tears every night. He remembered everything. From when the two of you first met on the main island in Destiny Islands, to the life-threatening battle against the thirteen darknesses. Sora would do anything to bring you back, he was prepared to go anywhere to fix this, no matter what it took.

Sora was at a loss, though. There was nothing he could think of that would help you. He tried showing you familiar objects to see if that would job your memory, but it was no dice. Everyone got in on it. They would all try showing you things, or talking about adventures or events, they would even take you to different worlds. Nothing seemed to have an effect on you.

Eventually, a lot of them gave up with the idea of bringing back your old self, and simply decided to make new memories with you instead. Sora refused to give up, though.

The moment Naminé’s restoration was complete, he fell on his knees before her and begged her to bring back your memories. If it was humiliating, Sora didn’t care. He’d do anything to bring you back.

Naminé was reluctant at first. She didn’t necessarily enjoy forcefully manipulating memories. It made her feel guilty, it reminded her of what the Organization made her do... But Sora was so distressed. Had she not stepped up to do it, Sora could have gone even more extreme measures. Once she agreed, Sora could feel some of his anxiety become relieved.

He waited patiently as the procedure was done. He paced back and forth outside of the room. Surely, this had to work. Why wouldn’t it? He knew Naminé could do it, she’s done it so many times now. When the door to the white room opened, he turned quickly and prepared for anything.

“She’ll be alright. Just a little bit of rest, and her memories should be back in no time.” She explained softly, causing Sora to finally sigh in relief. Immediately, when he ran into the room, he saw you laying there, a peaceful expression on your features. He quietly took a seat next to you, prepared to wait as long as needed for you to wake up.

It felt like days had passed since then. Sora ate and slept by your side, only leaving occasionally to stretch his legs a little bit. He refused to leave you until you woke up.

When your eyes suddenly fluttered open, Sora’s heart began to pound in his chest. It was beating so hard, he could hear it in his ears. A shaky sigh left his lips as he reached out to take your hand. “H-Hey... Can you...?” His voice trailed off as he stared down at you, patiently waiting for some kind of reaction.

Your expression held the same blank stare for what felt like the longest time. He felt himself growing more anxious as the second ticked by. A shaky sigh left his lips as he hesitantly reached out to take your hand. Once your hands touched, your eyes widened as if you were finally snapped out of a daze. You took in a sharp breath and sat up rather quickly, your breathing labored. As you looked over at him, you were overwhelmed by the emotions and memories flowing back into your mind. You grabbed onto him and embraced him, almost as if you were afraid to let go in case you would lose them again. “S-Sora... I’m so sorry.” You whispered between your sobs, causing a confused expression to form on Sora’s features.

“Sorry? For what?” He asked, his arms wrapping around you protectively. “There’s nothing to be sorry about... I missed you so much.” Sora whispered as he gently pressed a kiss to his forehead. A shaky sigh left your lips as you nodded quietly.

“I... I don’t know what happened. I was afraid, I felt trapped inside myself.” You explained, your voice shaking as you tried to calm yourself. “I thought I was never going to come back.” You murmured, taking his hands gently.

Sora allowed a weak smile to tug at his lips. “But you’re here now, right? Come on, I’m sure everyone misses you!” He cheered, pulling you along eagerly. You raised your brows in surprise as you followed him, trying to keep up.

On the inside, deep down, Sora knew everything was going to be okay. He had to stay positive, and he did. You were back, everything was fine. It was perfect. You were perfect. He was glad to have you back.

#sora x reader #kingdom hearts sora #kh sora #sora kingdom hearts #kh3 sora #sora #namine #kh namine #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts x reader #kingdom hearts 2 #naminé #self insert #reader x sora #kingdom hearts series

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harlequinmoss · 4 years ago

Note

How would you rewrite season 3 so it would be more coherent? I'm not talking about a full on rewrite of the entire episodes, I just mean how to make the plot lines and development flow better or changing them to be satisfying for all the characters.

Okay this is a really good question. I was going to say to make it more centered on FOWL but going back and reading the episode titles, it already kinda is. Like there's not that many episodes that don't tie into the finale in some way. I do have tweaks here and there that would help with plot and character development throughout the season. This ended up being a lot longer than I thought so here's a page break lol

Going in a linear format, Steelbeak should have made himself smart in Double-O-Duck instead of making the ray to make everyone else dumb. He'd be a more competent villain and more in line with his character in the original DWD. Maybe he could have even played a roll in LGD. It also would have avoided both him and Launchpad being mostly comic relief characters. I think there's too many jokes at Launchpad's expense about him being dumb. If he went back to his "normal" level of intelligence at the end, he could have told the family about FOWL without jeprodizing the search for the rest of the season. All they'll know is that FOWL is trying to take down the family and where the secret headquarters is. There's still the search for the leader and why FOWL is doing what they're doing. This makes it so that Huey has more to do and accomplish in what is supposed to be his season.

Next, The Rumble For Ragnorok. I'm just going off of memory here. I don't think that this episode did very much in the way of developing characters. Or at all. It was a forgettable filler episode where Dewey learned a lesson about humility or something and then it didn't come into play ever again. This episode could have been removed entirely to make room for an episode after LGD to give the Mallard-McQuack family more screen time and development. A general plot of this episode could be: Huey is helping Fenton and the other adults search the other realities for Gosalyn's missing grandpa. They end up finding him but he's either dead/a totally different person with different memories that doesn't remember Gosalyn at all. This event causes Gosalyn to give up the search and accept that her family is gone. Dewey has an emotional moment with her aside where he comforts her and relates the situation back to his mom and talks about found family while looking back at Launchpad and Drake. (Not really integrating this into any of my other points but if Della died on the moon in season 2 and the kids knew about this, it would make the interaction more impactful) At the end of the episode, its shown that Gosalyn has her own room, either in the lair or in a house similar to the original DWD, and Drake tucks her in while singing her lullaby.

The Phantom and the Sorceress. Oh God, what a mess. There's way too much wrong with this episode. Soup-Du-Silence had a good idea on how to fix it from Lena's perspective, which you can read about here. As for Gladstone, he could have still lost his powers and come to the mansion for help. But instead of him asking literal children, its Della and Donald (and maybe Fethry is there too) and then its a cousins adventure! Donald revels in Gladstone being unlucky but still wants to help. Gladstone doesn't seem so pathetic and played for comic relief. They track down the Blot together after Lena and her family fight him out of the Saberwing house, or they're about to find him when the Blot's gauntlet breaks and Gladstone magically gets his luck back for seemingly no reason, much to Donald's dismay. It might have to be two different episodes because cutting back and forth between the two plot lines would detract time from each and make the episode harder to follow. Idk but there's so many things they could have done that would have made the episode actually good and coherent

Let's Get Dangerous. It was good but it felt rushed. It needed to be longer. The timeline was hard to follow. Instead of the cheap shot at the end were Heron picks Bradford up in a FOWL helicopter, have the triplets being suspicious of him and figuring it out for themselves. Maybe they're all wary for different reasons and talking about it in a group huddle and Huey connects the dots in a dramatic reveal. They confront Bradford who does an evil villain slow clap congratulating them on figuring it out, but before anything else can happen, he's able to escape.

How Santa Stole Christmas. I don't think we needed this backstory. Instead, give us the opportunity to see bonding between characters. Its Della and Donald's first Christmas back together. Let us see that. Give us an interaction about the sweater. "You still have that sweater?" "Of course, wear it every year." And then they hug or something. That's literally all they had to do. Instead of following a Santa storyline that ends in Scrooge leaving an impoverished child alone in a house with nothing but a lump of coal when he could have given a tiny portion of his wealth to help her, let Scrooge learn the true meaning of Christmas through his family. Or even better yet, let him throw a party, inviting over recurring characters, and have it double as a brain storming session on how to defeat FOWL. Show them coming up with the plan for Webby's birthday party. Give us interactions with characters who haven't been there all season. Penumbra can help. Where has she been? She was building a ship back to the moon before, right? Give a conclusion to that. If she's decided to stay on Earth like it seemed in the end of her episode, all we really need is a short two second clip of her hanging out with the other Moonlanders, having their own form of Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever else.

As for the last few episodes leading up to the finale, I get what they were going for. Give each of the triplets one last centric episode. However, I think that the messages fell short in the Dewey and Louie episodes. I think they should have taken more of a Beaks in the Shell approach where the selected triplet still gets to shine, while also setting up high stakes for the finale. Don't be adding new characters so late in the game, be wrapping up storylines with already established ones. There wasn't really a point in adding Kit or Poe, other than the writers wanting to make reference to as many characters as possible. Same with April May and June.

Now for the finale. My main thing: don't make Webby a clone. It messes too much with all the dynamics in the show and ruins the found family message they've had this entire time. It would have been a lot better if Webby's parents were FOWL agents who had a change of heart after having their child and got killed by Bradford or Heron when trying to leave the organization. That's ample reason for Beakley not wanting Webby to know. I think the finale did a pretty good job of wrapping things up outside of that, honestly. Again, there wasn't really enough time to give all the characters a proper ending, like Gene who just disappeared once he was saved, never to be seen again, but if time was managed better in the episodes leading up to the finale, it would have made it so that more characters could have accomplished what they needed to. And what was with Bradford getting turned into a real buzzard at the end? You really going to just undomesticate him like that? Give him some poetic justice, push him into the void that makes people cease to exist.

That's about all I can think of at the moment. Thanks for the ask! It was fun to go through everything and think about what could have been done better

#ducktales #ducktales season 3 #dt season 3 #ducktales critical #ducktales criticism #dt criticism #dt critical

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lettheladylead · 4 years ago

Text

a quick visit

characters/ships: goldie, scrooge, beakley, scrooge/goldie, (slight) webby/lena word count: ~3500 summary: Goldie stops by the mansion shortly after The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades! ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27023359

Bentina had a bad feeling.

She often did when Scrooge took all four kids by himself and it was just adults in the mansion. Well, adults and Launchpad, who came by twice already - having forgotten that Scrooge wasn’t around.

It didn’t help that she hadn’t gotten Webbigail her own cell phone yet, so there were no updates coming from a trusted source. Scrooge didn’t know how to send a proper text and the boys just sent weird pictures and emojis so she was stuck in the dark until they returned.

Fortunately, the trip ended early, and as the family burst through the door only two days after leaving, the first thing Webbigail did was throw herself into her grandmother’s arms. “GRANNY! You won’t believe what happened in Florida!”

“Something tells me I will.”

Before Webby could open her mouth, Scrooge loudly cleared his throat. “Ahem, um...Webbigail, perhaps you should let me talk to her first. If you wouldnae mind.”

Webby considered that for a moment before doing a backflip and landing gracefully on her feet. “Okay! I’m gonna call Lena and Violet!” And then she rushed upstairs.

The boys were chatting amongst themselves, clearly interested in what Scrooge was going to say to Beakley but knowing they wouldn’t be allowed to stick around for the conversation. Louie in particular was excited to see steam come out of their housekeeper’s ears.

Beakley’s eye twitched as Scrooge grumbled a bit and motioned for her to follow him into the kitchen. Huey and Dewey decided to go find their mom or Uncle Donald, while Louie stuck with his original plan and held his head against the kitchen door to listen in.

“What kind of danger did you put my granddaughter in this time?”

Louie almost snickered.

“So listen, Twenty-Two, I need to start by pointin’ out that it could’ve been much worse! She was far away from the real danger!”

No response. Louie worried he was missing something and leaned in a little further, but it seemed Beakley was just waiting for more information.

“...Goldie was there.”

“Don’t tell me you let her anywhere near Webbigail!” was Beakley’s very quick response. Louie knew the housekeeper hated Goldie, but she didn’t hesitate for even a second.

“Ah...well. Webby spoke to Goldie just as you would’ve wanted her to,” Scrooge said with a chuckle.

“Then what happened?”

“Ehh...Goldie ‘n I drank some youth water, got a bit rambunctious in our young bodies, and left Webbigail by herself in the middle of the woods.”

Louie waited. No sound yet. Maybe Beakley just killed him quickly and quietly and got it over with?

“Is that it? She’s well equipped for a few hours by herself. Better than spending anymore time with your thieving ex-girlfriend.”

What a disappointment. Louie scoffed and got up, walking towards the back of the mansion where he saw his brothers go earlier.

Beakley looked over at the door where one of the kids had been obviously spying, and then poked a finger in Scrooge’s chest. “If Webbigail goes on adventures with you, I expect you to be responsible for her. No running off with your girlfriend, no leaving her alone. Am I understood?”

He looked sheepish, but nodded. “I’m sorry, Twenty-Two. It was...I wasnae myself.”

“Oh, you were completely yourself. Just younger and stupider.”

“Quite right.”

There was a moment of silence before Beakley couldn’t help her curiosity. “So what did she take from you this time?”

He blushed a bit and smiled - a reaction she was definitely not prepared for - and started tapping his fingers against the top of his cane. “Ah...nothin’.”

“...really now.”

Scrooge had a look on his face that Bentina barely recognized - he looked lovestruck and downright silly - and it was making her eye twitch again.

“She took Isabella’s journal, but...then she gave it back. A lot happened yesterday. We...talked.”

“Goldie O’Gilt...talked. To you.” Beakley leaned against the counter and didn’t pretend to hide her disbelief.

Scrooge picked up his cane and swung it around briefly. “Oh, she talked, alright! Let’s just say, I havenae lost my touch when it comes to women.”

Now that was the least believable thing she’d heard so far. But Beakley bit her tongue on that remark. “...did you two sleep together?”

His blush deepened and his smile formed into a smirk. Pushing his hat up an inch with his cane, Scrooge just shrugged and said, “I would never kiss and tell.”

“That’s historically untrue,” she commented with an eyeroll. “Are you going to tell me you two are on good terms now? Or something equally terrifying?”

Scrooge shrugged again. “Hard to say…”

He started to hobble out of the kitchen, considering whether or not to leave Beakley with that non-answer, but chose to turn around at the door and expand. “...she’ll be visiting the mansion soon.”

And she felt a headache coming on as he waltzed out of the kitchen, leaving her alone to decide how many traps she needed to set up and how many items she needed to hide. Not that anything she could try would stop O’Gilt, who always seemed to be one frustrating step ahead of her.

This was a terrible turn of events. Not to mention unexpected. But, Beakley surmised, this was likely a long con that Scrooge hadn’t caught onto in his lovestruck stupor. She’d have to talk to Webbigail and get more details about what happened. She’d have an easier time figuring out what Goldie’s game was.

Webby was using her laptop to video call with her friends, going over the trials and tribulations of her recent trip.

“I still can’t believe Scrooge has a girlfriend,” Lena commented dryly.

Webby just laughed. “Yeah, it’s super weird. They just have...so much history together. But I thought it’d be cute! Or fun! Instead, it was just…” She couldn’t think of the right word.

Violet flicked at her hair. “Uncomfortable? Not only are they ridiculously old, but she’s betrayed him a number of times. I can’t imagine watching them interact was pleasant.”

“Exactly!” Webby waved her hands around. “And when we left the hotel they were all gushy and hand holding, but...I don’t know! Love after betrayal doesn’t really seem like a good idea.”

Violet nodded to that, but quickly noticed Lena’s awkward silence and turned towards her sister.

Webby, despite herself, also noticed Lena’s lack of response, and after replaying her sentence in her head, she immediately started to shake her head and laugh. “Ha, ha, well, I mean, you know, who knows!! It’s...I shouldn’t make assumptions! It was probably just weird because they’re so old! I don’t know the details, I should do some research! But maybe not too much research! Ha, ha, ha!”

Lena seemed comforted by that and just chuckled and shook her head. “You’re a riot, Pink.”

“I know,” Webby said with a smile, and she could tell Violet was going to comment on what just happened but was interrupted by a knock on Webby’s door.

“Webbigail, can we talk?”

“Oh, sure, Granny!” she yelled at the door. “Sorry guys, Granny wants to talk! See you later?”

The Sabrewings nodded and said their goodbyes as Webby shut the laptop in sync with Beakley climbing up the ladder.

“Scrooge tells me you were alone for quite some time,” Beakley said as she finished her climb and sat next to Webby on her bed. “How did you fare?”

“It was crazy!” Webby said enthusiastically. “I had hurt my back and mosquitos stung my eye and then suddenly I was alone with who-knows-what lurking around! But I used my quick wits and geographical knowledge to make my way back to the hotel in record time!”

Beakley responded with a few small claps. “I’m very proud of you.”

“It’s too bad I missed the fight, though!”

“Oh?” Now that made more sense. “So Scrooge and Goldie did fight, then?”

“Oh, no, I mean. Sort of, but that’s not what I’m talking about!” Webby proceeded to explain the situation with Ponce de Leon to her grandmother, not leaving out any details of what the boys and Scrooge had told her.

“Well...I supposed that explains his good mood.” Beakley put a hand against her beak in thought. “I can’t immediately tell what O’Gilt’s angle is, but I don’t trust this. If she tries to talk to you again, don’t give her any information she doesn’t already have.”

“Okay! Oh, and did you know she’s friends with Louie?” Webby added suddenly. “I mean, I guess friends might be a strong word. But they talked for a while and I was really surprised! Scrooge didn’t seem as surprised, but also...not. You know what I mean?”

Beakley let out a long hmmm in response. “...that’s interesting.”

“I was talking to Lena and Violet…” Webby tapped her fingers on her legs. “I don’t trust Goldie any farther than I could throw her, but...I don’t know, she and Scrooge seemed to be really happy together all last night and this morning.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And it’s not like you can’t have a good normal relationship even if there was once a lot of lies and betrayal!” Webby started to play with her skirt. “I’m trying to keep an open mind!”

Beakley’s face scrunched up in thought and her eyes widened in realization. “Ah...Dear, if you’re projecting onto this, I can assure you that your relationship with Lena is nothing like that of the infamous McDuck-O’Gilt rivalry.”

“Oh.”

“Goldie O’Gilt is proof that some people can never change,” Bentina said forcefully. “And no matter what she says or how she acts or even if she chooses not to steal anything one time, that’s no reason to trust her. She’s going to break Scrooge’s heart again, one way or another.”

“...oh.” Webby frowned and looked down at her knees. “You’re probably right, Granny. Maybe I just...want her to be better.”

“I understand.” Beakley stood up and brushed invisible dust off her skirt. “I do, too. But it’s safer to stay alert than to try and expect anything good from her.”

She nodded. “Uncle Scrooge invited her here.”

“He mentioned as much.”

“But she said no.”

“Really?”

Webby played with her fingers while she spoke. “She said, and I promise I wasn’t eavesdropping! But she told him that ‘meeting the family is too domestic,’ which I think is weird because she’s already met all of us so what difference does it make?”

Beakley wondered why Scrooge seemed so sure that Goldie would be coming over despite her rejection. This was already starting not to bode well. “I need to speak to Scrooge again. Why don’t you go find the boys?”

“Okay!” Webby shouted and did a front flip off her bed, launching down the ladder and heading towards the pool.

Beakley grumbled and followed after, determined to figure out why Scrooge had lied or what was going on. She needed to be prepared if Goldie O’Gilt was coming to visit, and prepared for Scrooge’s inevitably whiny heartbreak. You’d think he’d be used to it after so many years.

She found him in his room, staring at the inside of some ancient-looking box. As soon as he noticed her, he slammed the box shut and tossed it back into the locked desk drawer he came from. Curious as that made her, Beakley didn’t have the energy to comment.

“Goldie said she wasn’t interested in coming here.”

Scrooge flushed and shrugged. “I mean...technically, yes, but you had to see the look in her eyes, Bentina! I know she’s coming.”

“I think you’re likely misinterpreting.”

“I know for a fact she wants to see Della, at least,” Scrooge said with his two pointer fingers up in front of him. “We talked about her for a while and she hasn’t seen her since her return, so…”

“I stand by what I said.”

Scrooge stood up and stretched his limbs. “I understand your negativity, Twenty-Two, but I feel good about this! I feel like -”

Both parties stopped talking and turned to look at the window, which was slowly being opened from the outside. Scrooge smiled brightly and Beakley’s frown deepened.

“Hey, Hun, how about we……..oh.” Goldie hadn’t noticed Beakley at first, and wrinkled her nose as soon as they made eye contact. “Great.”

Before the man of the house could let his lady inside, Beakley stormed to the window and grabbed it. “How about you use the front door like a proper guest!?” She slammed the window shut and Goldie didn’t move for a moment, then smacked the closed window before disappearing again. Beakley made her way to the foyer in angry anticipation.

Scrooge didn’t even know how to react to that and quickly rushed to the window to see what was happening. Goldie had gone back down to the lawn and she looked up to shoot him a quick wink before continuing towards the door. He almost didn’t believe what he was seeing, but hurried after his housekeeper anyway.

The doorbell ringing was a surprise to everyone, and Scrooge was double surprised to see all four kids running towards the front door even after they saw Beakley reach for the handle. Maybe they liked Goldie more than she did. That wouldn’t be saying much at all.

The door opened and Goldie groaned loudly. “Is this what it’s like to wait for someone to let you into a building? It’s awful. Scroogey, don’t make me do that again.”

Beakley rolled her eyes and moved to the side so Goldie could enter, and Scrooge just smiled at her instead of moving to give her a proper hello. She put a hand on her hip and looked at the small army of ducks who’d come to greet her for whatever reason.

“I thought you said you weren’t coming!” Webby said suddenly.

“Yes, well…” Goldie rolled her hand around by her head, trying to think of what to say. “Here I am anyway.”

“Here you are,” Beakley said harshly as she shut the door. “And what’s your plan for this visit, O’Gilt?”

Goldie gave the housekeeper a sultry look. “Oh, Bentina, always so suspicious of me. Scrooge asked me to stop by on my way back to D…”

Everyone leaned forward slightly, looking very interested in the next thing she was going to say. Goldie took note of that.

“...doing my own thing.”

The resounding disappointment was palpable. Clearly no one knew where she currently hung her hat, and Goldie preferred it that way.

“So he did. Apparently you’re here to ‘meet the family,’ but of course,” Beakley walked past Goldie and stood next to her granddaughter. “You already know everyone here.”

Scrooge raised an eyebrow, not sure if he should interrupt or let this play out. Goldie didn’t seem put off at all.

“Are you testing me?” Goldie asked with a smirk. “Of course I know you, Bentina. Or would you rather I call you Twenty-Two?”

Everyone looked up at Beakley, who scowled. “Bentina is fine.”

Goldie took a look at all four kids, who were currently lined up in front of her. Their...names? She knew their names. But that didn’t really matter and she didn’t want them to get too attached.

“Well, obviously I know Sharpie,” she said, motioning to Louie, who just shrugged in response.

Next came the red one. “...based on your clipboard, I’m gonna assume you’re the Smartie.”

“Not technically my name, but observant nonetheless!” Huey tapped his hat with his pencil.

“And you…” She looked at the blue one, who seemed overly excited at her presence and was pumping his knees up and down. “Well I’m not about to call you Toughie when you look like this.”

“You can call me…” Dewey pulled out his phone and pressed a button, playing a short track of loud electronic music. “TURBOOOO!!!” he shouted as he dabbed dramatically and the music ended.

Goldie just stared. “...ah, you’re just a mini-Della, aren’t you?”

Dewey spun around and snapped some finger guns at her. “Compliment received and appreciated! That’s how we Dew it!”

“Right. So. Sharpie, Smartie, Mini-Della.” She pointed to each of them as she spoke. “And lastly we’ve got Old Lady Vanderquack.”

Webby looked up at her grandma and gave a sheepish smile to Beakley’s irritated expression.

“I suppose I can’t very well call you that when the real old lady is right there,” Goldie said with a smirk. “I’ll just call you Pink.”

That elicited a small gasp from the little duck. “You can’t call me that! That’s what Lena calls me!”

“Oh? She’s got a claim on that name?” Goldie crouched down and leaned her arms on her knees (which were feeling much better than the day before, thank God). “Well I’m sure your Uncle has told you that I’m quite the claim jumper.”

Scrooge chuckled at that while Webby just squinted and tapped on her beak. “I guess, in a way, you kind of remind me of Lena.”

“Since I don’t know who that is, I’m going to assume that’s a compliment.”

“It is!” Webby clapped her hands together excitedly. “She’s my-”

“Webbigail,” Beakley interrupted. “Remember what I said about limiting the information you give to thieves?”

“Oh, right!” Webby stood tall and did a motion of zippering her mouth shut.

Goldie smirked and stood back up. “The less I know the better, I suppose.” She looked around the room. “Well I don’t see Donald or Della, but as far as I know, that covers everyone who lives here, right?”

Beakley rolled her eyes, but couldn’t say anything before Dewey jumped up. “Oh! I bet Mom would be super excited to see you! I’ll go grab her!” He rushed off to the pool.

“What, no fun nicknames for them, too?” Louie said sarcastically. “How boring.”

Goldie crossed her arms. “That’s not something anyone’s ever called me before.”

“First time for everything.”

Huey glanced between Louie and Goldie, sensing an unexpected tension that he didn’t know anything about. Clearly he’d be grilling Louie about it later.

Scrooge sighed and felt a familiar warmth in his chest. All he wanted was for Goldie to be a part of his family, and for the first time...it felt like it might happen. Despite Beakley’s objections, of course. He shuffled over and grabbed one of Goldie’s hands.

“Are you staying long?” he asked hopefully, but trying not to sound too desperate.

She glanced at him and sighed. “No, I don’t think so.” She pulled her hand away from his and placed it against his cheek instead. “Meet the family, you said. Not have dinner with the family or move in with you, right?” She gave him a few little pats.

Scrooge smiled even though he would’ve loved for her to stay longer. “Right. Whatever you’re comfortable with, Dear.”

The little domestic nickname made her heart flutter, and Goldie had to look away from him to avoid blushing. Fortunately, it was at that moment that Dewey was dragging the twins into the foyer behind him.

“What’s so impor-....oh!” Della paused as she looked up, Donald stepping up next to her a moment later.

They both looked at each other and then back at their guest. “Hi Aunt Goldie,” they said in unison.

“Donnie. Fly Girl,” Goldie responded, giving them each a curt nod. “Glad to see you’re both in one piece.”

Della elbowed Donald in the chest. “How come you didn’t tell me this was still a thing?”

He coughed and put a hand over his injured sternum. “I didn’t think you cared?”

“I dunno, I’m kind of mixed on it,” Della said with a shrug. “But I like to stay updated!”

They bickered for a minute and Goldie felt a bit awkward - she didn’t know Donald or Della very well and could barely understand a single thing Donald said. She assumed everyone else could understand him perfectly and didn’t want to be the odd one out, so she opted to look back at Scrooge again.

He was staring at her. This whole visit he’d just been staring at her. She did what he asked! She stopped by! She spoke to his whole family! Why did he still look like he wanted something?

Finally he looked away from her, seeing that most of the rest of the family was talking to Della about adventures they knew about involving Goldie. He looked back at her and smiled.

“...Scroogey, just ask me what you want to ask me.” She swiped a hand through her ponytail and sighed. “I’ll die of old age if I’m stuck waiting for you to spit it out.”

He took a deep breath and reached out to grab both of her hands this time.

“I want you...to meet my parents.”