#i just know he was hoping bode would believe that he didn't do it

[cerealbishh]

"B, I saw this kid. I matched the pictures online. And a part of me always wanted to find him. Maybe that's why I was expecting to feel like... that's my brother. But he was a stranger. So, between that... and, well, everything that I've done to protect this house... and everyone in it... to look up today and not see one of them have my back? I've never felt so alone in my life."

"Alright, hey. You have a brother in me. Always."

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hiya! Do you know any Sterek fics where Derek rejects the mate bond with Stiles and just ignores it all, leading to Stiles feeling the strain or pain of an ignored/incomplete bond? I've read one before where Derek just moved away cuz he didn't think it was a big deal and Stiles really took the brunt of it. But any fics that are similar would be perfect. P.S. Thank you for everything that you do and I hope that you're having a great day!

Oh yes. I love this kind of angst.

soulmates tbh by bleep0bleep

(1/1 I 1,423 I Teen)

"It’s been five months," Derek says darkly. "Why am I still getting these proposals? You know these are probably all fake marks."

Five months since the paparazzi had snapped that photo of him with the overzealous fan tugging at his shirt, five months since millions of people on the Internet realized that the birthmark revealed was in fact, the mark, five months Derek was inundated by claims from people who desperately wanted him to believe that they were his soul-mate.

Second Chances by rootbeer

(1/1 I 2,624 I General)

"A lot of times the ‘markings’ were common, simple things you said to strangers all the time. 'Excuse me'; 'thank you'; 'hello'. Some got extremely romantic things like 'it’s you isn’t it? I’ve been waiting for you' or 'Wow you’re really pretty'. And they were always the first words their soulmate would ever say to them.

Of course, having 'You are the fucking worst kind of person in the world' tattooed down your side, didn’t bode well. How fucked up was Stiles Stilinski that even his fucking Soulmate hated him? High School had been a special kind of hell when all the kids learned what his tattoo said—despite his best efforts to keep it a secret."

Three Marks by sanam

(8/8 I 113,736 I Mature)

"And then there was pain again, but this time it was in only three places—his arm, below his clavicle, and next to his heart, all on the left side. It felt like the skin was being sliced apart, ripped open, flayed off— And suddenly it was done. Derek looked across the room and saw the boy on the floor, looking about as bad as Derek felt."

Derek and Stiles learn that bonding is probably best done with ridiculous amounts of video games and maybe a little bit of time.

I Hunt For You With Bloody Feet by CharWright5

(26/26 I 200,462 I Explicit)

“Mates don't always mean happy ever after.”

When twenty-year-old born omega werewolf Stiles Stilinski received that cryptic email from his twin brother—who'd been missing for two years exactly—in a language the two of them had made up, his drive to find Stuart is doubled. The search leads him to Oak Creek, the most secured and heavily fortified city in all of California, where he finds that not only is his brother dead, but also the literal alpha of his Dreams in Derek Hale—who just happens to be his twin's Mate and the main suspect in Stiles' eyes. Despite an agreement to fight mutual feelings, the two are still drawn to each other as they try to solve the case themselves, uncovering a plot that goes deeper than the murder of just one wolf.

Blue Monday by ExpectNothingGainEverything

(19/? I 535,709 I Explicit)

Stiles would have never guessed that the star player of the lacrosse team and presumably the hottest guy in school who everyone wanted a piece of and one of his most hated bullies would turn out to be his soulmate.

Derek would never have dreamed that fate would be so cruel to pair him up with a freak like Stilinski.

[spxllcxstxr]

Shitshow at the Soulmate Factory • R.R

(Gif not mine)

Request: Please I'm begging on hands and knees, I'll take any Roman or Tom fic. Anything. I would do desperate things for it. Kisses xxx! I honestly love the countdown soulmate au, just running into each other unexpectedly is a really adorable thing for me. Maybe they are late from somewhere and they run into reader, could be whatever. You can also ignore it. If I may I would like she/her reader, but I'm fine with gender neutral reader also. — anon

Summary: In less than twenty-four hours you’ll meet your soulmate. Your friend drags you to some weird underground private party

Warnings: soulmate AU, logan roy mention (also quick mention of abuse), mention of drugs and alcohol and all that shit, not a lot of dialogue I’m sorry lmao, 9/11 mention? (iykyk)

Word Count: 1.5k

A.N: first Roman fic!!! This was actually going to be a blurb and then I kept fucking writing. I hope his characterization is ok, if you have any tips don’t be afraid to let me know!! Hope you all enjoy!

•

Roman had never cared for the timer on the inside of his elbow. The black bold numbers inked permanently into his flesh. It was always hidden away underneath expensive suit shirts and well-tailored business jackets. It was a ticking time bomb; never to be acknowledged until it finally blew him to bits.

Or, in this case, meet his soulmate (though to him, that was one and the same).

It's not like he wasn't curious about who some higher power judged to be his soulmate--because he was. It was, however, more of a morbid curiosity. He was Roman Roy for fuck's sake, no one should be tied to him.

His father never talked about his own timer, the one time he ever asked about it he got backhanded so hard he face planted onto the tiled floor beneath his feet. That was that. He laughed it off afterwards, when Ken was placing ice against his bruised cheek. He really should've known.

Kendall had spent months convincing Rome and his other siblings that his timer went off when he first met Rava in college, though they got divorced so he highly doubted that was the case. And if it was? Well shit. That didn't bode well for the rest of them.

Shiv's situation confirmed that he was doomed. Despite Roman being in charge of her soon-to-be husband's bachelor party, his sister once drunkenly confided in him that her timer had went off years before she even heard the name Tom Wambsgans. The next morning, when she called him with a splitting headache, she said she couldn't remember anything she told him the night before. She was fucked too.

Connor was Connor and Roman was sure he had ranted about his at one point, but whatever goes in one ear goes out the other with him.

So when Roman glances at his timer in the mirror it feels like a cooler full of ice water just got dumped on him. His body is frozen but his skin crawls with anxiety. Today was the day. In less than twenty-four hours he was to meet the person he was destined to be with.

What a sick cosmic joke.

He bites his nails and paces the length of his kitchen as he waits for his driver to get to his apartment. By the time he's seated in the back of the car with the smell of worn leather overwhelming his senses the thought is pushed so far back in his mind that he barely remembers why his fingers are absentmindedly stroking the inside of his elbow.

You, on the other hand, were the complete opposite.

The timer on your wrist was frequently the topic of discussion both with your friends and in your personal journal. It had always been exciting, the guaranteed notion that you were going to meet the love of your life.

Your friends had married their soulmates which had made you believe even more in the timer. The people around you were happy with what the universe had promised and you just wanted that to be you already. You were content waiting but that never stopped you from watching the numbers tick down whenever you could spare a glance.

The childish romanticism of the timer never faded throughout your life.

It kept you going--you woke up in the morning because you needed to know what, or, rather who, the universe had in store for you.

You were jittery in the morning. Not just because your friend was forcing you to join her and a couple others at some underground private club, but also because your timer had indicated that today, of all days, you were going to meet your soulmate. Every inch of you buzzed with excitement.

Toying with your bottom lip you wait for your friend to pick you up. This party would be it, you determined.

It was going to be a dream come true.

The club sucks.

They had taken your phone at the door, the music is way too loud, and your drink tastes sour when it should be sweet. Not to mention the amount of people having sex in every corner of almost every room.

Your friends ditched you about an hour ago and your timer still has an hour left.

Taking a sip of your drink your face scrunches in disgust. Your eyes focus on the drinks behind the bar, the colorful glasses occupying your vision so you don’t accidentally make eye contact with the drugged up people around you. The pungent smell of weed surrounds you.

You sit and watch the bartenders dart across the space behind the bar, mixing and pouring drinks expertly. Men and women approach you occasionally, but you’re not interested in conversation if your timer doesn’t go off.

You wish you had Twitter to at least occupy your mind.

“Hey, I’m Connor.”

You turn to face the man to your right, his grey hair and piercing blue eyes are nice, but your timer doesn’t go off so what’s the point?

“Not interested.” Taking a quick sip of your drink you turn away from the man.

“Oh come on, I just want to chat,” He sits next to you, nursing his own drink. He smells of alcohol and expensive cologne. “Say, where were you on 9/11?”

Your eyebrows shoot up in shock, eyeing the man trying to find any hint of a joke. He looks completely serious.

“Where was I on 9/11?”

“Yeah, I mean, I gotta make sure…y’know what I mean?” He shrugs at you, still waiting for your answer.

Subtly you glance down at your wrist, the numbers now under a minute. Slowly you smile, nerves washing over your entire being.

You get up from the bar stool, drink in hand. “Try that on another girl, I’m sure it’ll work next time.”

Passing by people you attempt to get out of the stuffy room when someone knocks into your shoulder. It’s not hard, but it certainly warranted some kind of apology.

You turn around only to see the other person doing the same.

Your breath hitches when you hear the noise—it’s crystal clear and high pitched, like a bell. Eyes widening you stare at the stranger in shock.

“Oh fuck.” His brown eyes widen at the noise, the realization washing over him. “Shit so you’re—you’re my…?” With one hand on his hip and the other running through his hair he looks you up and down.

“You’re my soulmate…” You say, just above the music. The air feels as if it’s been punched out of your lungs.

The man’s eyes can’t seem to stay still.

Your own eyes run over his handsome figure. His clothes imply at least a decent amount of money—his white dress shirt crisp and recently pressed. The sleeves, however, are rolled up to his elbow exposing his forearms. Your face heats up at this; the casual gesture being a lot more attractive than it should be.

Swallowing down the thoughts and the bubbling nerves you extend your hand.

“(Y/n) (L/n).” You smile, hoping to ease the tension.

“Oh uh, yeah—yes.” He stutters, hand taking your own. His palms are a bit sweaty but he has a nice firm grip. “Roman Roy.”

Roy—well that explains a lot. So far the universe has got good taste.

Your hand tingles as you pull it back to your side. Biting your lip you take him in again, how he flexes his jaw and drums his fingers against his hip bone. The music pumping throughout the room becomes muffled as you focus solely on Roman Roy.

It seems he has a difficult time tearing his eyes away from your own, but eventually he’s successful at examining the expensive watch on his wrist.

“Oh shit fucking damnit…” He mutters, brows furrowing momentarily before softening when his gaze lands back on you. “I gotta go, I have this stupid fucking meeting…” Apologetically he steps closer to you. You deflate a bit at this. “It’s just big company stuff, I’m sorry. Can I uh…can I get your number though?”

Smirking at the question, you nod. Excitement courses through your veins again. “Do you have a pen?”

“A pen? What is it 1999?”

“They took my phone at the door, dumbass, I assume they took yours too.” You snort teasingly.

“Shit.” He pats his body, searching for anything in his pocket. He’s quite quick about it and eventually he finds a shitty black pen with barely any ink in it.

Giggling you write your number down on his forearm before handing the pen back to him.

“You better call me, Roman Roy. I know where you work.” You wink, toying with your bottom lip again.

He flushes at that, cheeks turning pink as his eyes settle on your lips.

“Oh fuck I’m gonna call you.” Clumsily he winks back before turning around and getting caught in the crowd, heading to whatever meeting he had.

Setting down your drink on the nearest table you head the opposite direction, towards the exit, cheeks aching from the satisfied smile on your face.

•

[cryptcutiee]

Karma Is My Boyfriend

Pairing: Leon Kennedy X Reader (gender neutral) Synopsis: In search of good karma, you do a random act of kindness by paying for the coffee of whoever comes in behind you. That person ends up being a rather attractive man. Tags: Fluff, Comfort Warnings: Use of pet names (sweetheart, sweet thing), age gap (if you squint) Song: Karma - Taylor Swift Word Count: 1.6K Author's Notes: Ahhh hello Tumblr! I haven't posted any writing in a very long time. This is my very first fic on this account, but I do have more in the works. So if you want to see more from me or a part 2 to this, lmk! This is my first x reader story in years so comments and feedback is appreciated!

The day had barely started, yet everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Alarms you set decided not to go off. You had burned your breakfast. The hot water in your shower lasted a total of two minutes before it plunged you into an ice-cold drizzle. Clothes you wanted to put on had mysteriously vanished into thin air. You had dressed in attire you didn't want to wear when it started to rain as you were leaving. It was a bunch of little things adding up to a horrible morning. That didn't bode well for your luck today, which made you worry. Today was significant. You were waiting to hear back from that apartment complex. You needed to get approved for it. The current studio you were living in was crap, and this place would be a major upgrade. With how your day was going, your hope was at an all-time low.

This is how you found yourself standing across the counter from your best friend at the local coffee shop. They were a barista here, and although gossiping on work hours should be frowned upon, they always had time for you. Besides, it seemed slow today. Nobody was in line, and the few patrons lingering around were sitting at tables chatting or working. So you vented about your entire morning as your friend took down your coffee order. You got your usual which was no surprise. With the way your day was going, why would you try something new?

Your friend's eyebrows quirked up at how much of a nightmare your morning had been. "Sounds like you're having a bad energy day."

You leaned against the counter with a deadpan expression. "No shit Sherlock. Normally I wouldn't care, but I can't afford for today to be a bad day! At this rate, I'm going to get denied." You groaned. Anxiety was eating at you, and with how everything had been going, you had little faith in good news.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Your best friend pulled your attention back, "Thinking like that will just make it worse. What if you put some good energy out there, you know, like karma or something?"

You blinked as you took in their words. Karma? You understood the concept of it. Doing bad would attract bad, and doing good would attract good. A sigh left your lips as you stared across the checkout at your friend. "How do you suggest I go about that?" You're sliding your debit card across the counter as you stare them down, waiting for whatever idea they have.

Your friend put on their thinking face, and within moments their expression lit up with an idea. "What about a random act of kindness? You could pay for whoever comes in next!"

The idea rattled around in your brain for a moment. It wasn't like you believed in supernatural forces, but what exactly did you have to lose? "Fine, charge the next person's order to my card. Please don't make a big deal out of it though! I'm not doing it for recognition."

"You got it! Now go wait over by the pickup end. I'll get your order out."

With a nod to your friend, you moved over to the pickup area. Your fingers drummed against the counter anxiously. Eyes darting down to your phone as you waited for that email from the apartment complex. You could hear the bell on the door as you scrolled through your notifications. You listened to your friend speaking to what sounded like a man, but you kept your eyes stuck to your screen. He ordered a black coffee, and then your best friend said the words that made you focus more on the conversion feet away from you.

"I'm happy to say your order today has already been covered!"

When you looked up to see who you had paid for, you may have encountered one of the most attractive men you have ever seen. He had to be older than you, but he looked like he took care of himself. His shirt clung to his fit form, and those arms looked like they could pop a seam on his sleeves. Maybe karma did exist because the universe had just dropped this gorgeous sight right into your lap.

"Oh?" The man's low timber caused something to crawl down your spine. "By who?"

You could see the gears turning in your best friend's brain on how to answer the question. They knew what you asked for but could also witness your reactions from the sidelines. "By the person who ordered before you."

The man quickly put the pieces together, and his eyes glanced at you, the only person waiting for their order.

Mentally you were screaming and cursing at your friend for putting you in this situation, but at the same time, you were thanking them. As if to send the message home, they called out your name and slid your coffee order to you. Your eyes met his, and you felt your stomach do a flip. His eyes were breathtaking. If you looked too long, you thought you'd drown in them. With all the courage in your bones, you mustered an awkward smile. Hand reaching over to grab your coffee, you noticed out of the corner of your eye as the man moved toward you.

"Hey." A slight smile touched his lips as he approached, "Were you the one that paid for my coffee?" He knew it was you, and there was no point in lying to this stunning man.

"Yeah, I did. Don't worry. It was nothing." You replied, trying to shrug it off. "I just wanted to pay it forward. Trying to get some good luck." That same embarrassed smile glued to your face. Talking to this man wasn't in your cards today, but it was going better than everything else this morning.

"I can't just let you do that without introducing myself. I'm Leon, Leon Kennedy." Leon extended his hand out. Your own wrapped around his for a handshake while introducing yourself. "Why are you looking for good luck? Something wrong, sweetheart?"

Your free hand shot up in denial. "Oh no, nothings wrong! I'm waiting for an important email. It's to see if I got approved for this apartment I applied for." There was no reason for you to be telling Leon all of this. He was a stranger, but he was easy to open up to. "My morning was a disaster, and I didn't want the bad luck to continue, so my friend suggested I do something for good karma." You gestured to the barista in the background, your best friend. "Sorry, that all sounds a little silly."

"Not at all." The corner of Leon's lips lifts into a smirk." It's cute, honestly." Those blue eyes of his glimmered with interest as he spoke. It caused butterflies to flutter in your tummy. Suddenly your nerves aren't about the email. They're more about the man in front of you. "Do you have any plans today? I hope I'm not holding you up."

As fast as you can, you shake your head in response. "You aren't! I don't have anything to do today except wait." You watch as your friend delivers the black coffee Leon ordered. Their eyes glance at you with a knowing look. When Leon turns his back to them, they give you a thumbs up before scurrying back to the checkout.

"Then you'll let me repay you by grabbing dinner with me?" Leon grabbed his coffee, a sure look in his eyes. "It's the least I can do for a sweet thing like you, besides it'll get your mind off that email."

Did you just get asked out by some guy you bought coffee for? He was undoubtedly good-looking and had effortless charisma. Saying no would be a mistake. "Sure!" You automatically flush at how enthusiastic you sound. "I mean, that sounds like a nice distraction."

Leon let out a faint chuckle. "I usually get turned down. Maybe I have all the good karma today." Your eyes meet as he takes a sip of his coffee. "You like Italian? I know a good place, my treat."

"I do." Your lips curl into a soft smile. "Do you want to exchange numbers? Here." You open a fresh contact page on your phone and hold the device towards him. Your fingers brush against his as you pass your phone over to Leon. It causes a light blush to paint your features, and you can only hope he doesn't notice. As he's putting his number in, the faint chime of your notification tone rings out. 

Leon's eyes dart to the pop-up, and he grins. "Looks like I'm your good luck charm." He comments, passing the phone back to you. 

Your eyes automatically search the screen and see an email notification. The apartment complex approved you. A wide smile breaks out on your face. "I guess you are, Leon. Maybe I should keep you around." You can feel his blue eyes on you as you say that.

"Maybe you should." There's a beat of silence between the two of you. It suddenly feels like you got trapped in some romance novel. "So, celebration dinner then? Send me your address, and I'll pick you up at seven." Leon breaks the silence with that intoxicating tone of his.

"That works for me! I'll text you."

Exiting the coffee shop, you feel much better than when you arrived. Your newest contact, Leon, is on the screen, and you can't get that smile off your face.

Karma is the guy on the screen, coming straight home to me.

[sareeen]

The perfect look

Pairing: Azriel x fem!reader

Summary: If Azriel's mate needs help, he will help her, whatever it takes. Even when it's about women's things.

Warnings: Absolutely nothing. Fluff, fluff, fluff. Sweet boy Azriel.

Masterlist

A/N: My late night writing, which I like and which warmed my heart. I hope it puts a smile on your face too. :)

English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistake.

Y/N muttered angrily to herself as she washed off her makeup for the sixth time. Tomorrow was the annual charity ball, organised by a friend for orphaned children of soldiers killed in the war, and everything had to be perfect, because it was so important. However, when she decided today that she would try to prepare her makeup for tomorrow to match her outfit, she never imagined she would face so many obstacles. First, she ran out of her favourite foundation, which she went to the store to get, but it wasn't until she got home that she noticed the shop assistant had given her the darker shade and when she put it on her face she looked like she had been lying on the beach for at least a month. Secondly, she was unable to choose the perfect shade because she felt none of them fitted the colour of her dress. Thirdly, she couldn't get a decent eyeliner line and they all looked like something a two-year-old had scribbled on her eyelids rather than a fully grown adult woman and her hands were shaking with frustration. Fourthly...she was fed up with it all, her eyes hurt from all the rubbing and different makeup going into her eyes.

Who says makeup is easy, Y/N raged in herself and yelped when someone behind her spoke.

"What are you doing?"

The someone was none other than the mysterious Azriel, who was now leaning against the doorjamb with his arms folded across his chest. In the mirror, Y/N surveyed his tattooed, muscular torso, thick taut biceps and strong legs. It was a sight she could never get tired of and she loved it when Azriel was around like this. A little underpants and nothing else.

"I'm putting on makeup" Y/N sighed and wiped the red lipstick from her lips that had left a stain on the skin of her face when she accidentally smudged it. Now a pale pink stain remained behind.

Wonderful, just what was needed.

She was on the verge of hysterics and tears, which didn't bode well. She was a heartbeat away from packing everything up and curling up under a blanket on the couch for a long nap.

"Does makeup involve picking out your eyes?" Azriel raised his eyebrows. "Or do you have to draw a black line on your eyeballs too now?"

The spymaster teased her, which she probably would have returned at another time, but now her mouth curled down and she leaned wearily against the basin.

"I can't manage a decent makeup," she said in frustration. "Tomorrow is so important and I don't want to ruin it."

"Sweetheart" Azriel pushed away from the door and wrapped her in his arms. Y/N inhaled his scent, which soothed her frazzled nerves a little and burrowed her face into his muscular chest. His skin was warm and soft beneath her cheek and she smoothed her hands over his body with pleasure. "You're beautiful and there's just no way you're going to mess up the ball."

"I know I'm blowing things out of proportion" Y/N whispered, embarrassed by her behavior. She felt stupid for freaking out so much. "I just can't figure out what the perfect makeup would look like. Somehow none of them look right."

Azriel said nothing for a long moment, just stroked her back and kissed into her hair.

"Would it help if you practiced on someone else?" he murmured.

"What?" Y/N raised her head to look at him. She couldn't believe that he was offering to be her mannequin.

"You heard me right" Azriel chuckled and his golden brown eyes sparkled lovingly as he looked down at her.

Y/N was suddenly seized with excitement at the idea and grinned happily.

"Yes" she replied, carried away. "It would help a lot if I could put makeup on you."

Azriel closed his eyes, laughing, and shook his head in disbelief that this sentence had actually, really been uttered.

"I'm ready" he announced and sat down firmly on the edge of the tub so that Y/N could easily reach his face. "Make me breathtakingly beautiful. It's terrible to suffer this ugliness."

Dramatic sighs erupted from the depths of his chest and he even ruffled his midnight black hair in a pout for good measure. Laughing at his performance, Y/N took one of the makeup brushes in her hand and tickled his nose playfully, causing Azriel to sneeze so loudly that even passers-by on the street probably heard. Y/N doubled over with laughter and even shed a tear, but Azriel joined in too and his deep, melodious laughter reached to her very soul.

"I'm sorry" Y/N gasped for breath and took Azriel's head in her hands. Giggling, she pressed a kiss to his nose, then to his lips. "I had no idea it would have such an effect on you."

"When it comes to you, surprising things always happen" he replied with a grin. "But that's why I love you."

"Just like I love you too"

She took the brush in her hand again, but this time she started to work the makeup on his face and Azriel sat still. First she applied the foundation, then the blush and finally she took the powder box in her hand. The spymaster watched dubiously as she tapped the compact into the white powder, which left a small cloud of dust behind. However, he sat patiently waiting for it to spread over his face.

"Which one do you think would look good with the colour of my dress?" asked Y/N, showing him the makeup palette, which had like forty colours ranging from bright pink to pitch black. "I was thinking gold and this brown" Y/N poked her finger at the colour.

"Yes" Azriel said, puzzled, for he was very much at a loss for this sort of thing. "It's nice"

Y/N worked on his eyes for about a quarter of an hour, using different brushes, pads and even dragging something across his lashes. Finally, she nodded in satisfaction when she'd got it right and told him not to move now. Azriel stiffened like a statue, but flinched slightly when something small like a wet brush stroked first across his left and then his right eyelid.

"Open your eyes," Y/N pleaded, and then watched raptly as the golden brown eyes she held so dear trembled open. The makeup accentuated the warm colours of his eyes and even brought out that hint of green that is rarely seen.

"You are so beautiful," Y/N whispered, mesmerized.

"Well, thank you" the shadow singer furrowed his brows as if he couldn't decide how to respond to that. "Are we done?"

"Wait, the lipstick!" Y/N forgot all about it and hastily took it in her hand, then turned back to him. "Now squeak your lips."

Azriel giggled in compliance, pursed his plump lips and leaned towards Y/N. Y/N carefully smeared the slightly glistening lipstick on him and stepped back to admire her work. It was odd to see Azriel like this, but he still looked stunningly masculine in full ball makeup and tiny black underpants.

"Well, do you fancy me?" Azriel fluttered his eyelashes and even smacked his lips.

Y/N laughed and agreed.

"You've never looked better," she said and handed him a small oval mirror. "I don't think I'll wash it off you, it looks so great on you."

Azriel looked at himself in the mirror and even under the layers of makeup she could see him blushing.

"Sweet gods" he mumbled shaking his head as he looked at himself. The makeup was really nice, but if he had seen any of his brothers he would have been listening to this for the rest of eternity.

However, a sneaky idea occurred to his mind and Y/N squealed in surprise when Azriel grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards him.

"You know, I'd love to test this lipstick" Azriel's face was serious, but his eyes were mischievously twinkling. "I think it's important to know if I can kiss you tomorrow night without my lips glistening afterwards."

He didn't even wait for her to answer before he leaned in and kissed her. It was a sweet, delicate kiss that tasted like strawberries thanks to the lipstick and she giggled into his mouth. Azriel pulled away from her lips and then targeted every corner of her face from her forehead to the base of her neck and Y/N squirmed trying to get free, but he held her tightly and laughed as he continued to torture her.

"No, Azriel" Y/N screamed panting and laughing as his kisses tickled her. When she managed a glance in the mirror she saw that the lipstick was not kiss-proof, for her whole face was covered with Azriel's mouth marks. Finally, Azriel leaned over and pressed his cheek to hers, so they could look at themselves in the mirror together. She wished they could stay like that forever.

"I think we look really good," Azriel growled. "Especially you"

"Can't beat you now" Y/N replied with a smile as she watched him in the mirror. "That color really suits you"

Azriel hummed in agreement, but the corners of his mouth curled upwards in amusement. However, this quickly disappeared when two huge figures appeared in the doorway.

For a moment, all four of them stood frozen, Azriel still with his arms around her waist in makeup and she with her arms around his neck with lipstick marks on her face. It was like they'd been caught having sex, but it was even more awkward than that.

Finally, one of the men burst out laughing and within a moment the other followed. They pushed their way into the bathroom and pointed at Azriel.

"Brother" Rhysand chuckled. "What an amazing look. Maybe you have a date tonight?"

"I think he's going to a ball instead" snorted Cassian. "Where's your dress? I would recommend the side-slit piece that shows off your beautiful legs. Perhaps you waxed that as well?"

Y/N stifled a laugh with difficulty. After all, she had put poor Azriel in this position and it would be ugly if she betrayed him like that.

"I-" began Azriel, but he was speechless. "No, I have no excuse for that."

Y/N took pity on the poor man, but before she could rise to his defense, Rhysand cut her off.

"Come on" the High Lord wiped his eyes with a smirk and shrugged, "I model nude for my mate's paintings every week. Compared to that, a little makeup is not a disaster."

"Not small, big" Cassian hummed with a sly smile, but his eyes were friendly as he surveyed them.

"You don't say a word, Cassian!" retorted Azriel pointing at him. "You're probably dressing up as some book character from one of those novels Nesta reads and doing something dirty I'd rather not hear about."

"Hey, do you know how well those tend to end?" asked Cassian, offended, but he was already turning to Rhysand, who was now starting to tease him.

Y/N was watching their bickering, but Azriel distracted her by leaning over and whispering in her ear.

"I think it was good fun."

"Yes" Y/N said softly and gave him a soft kiss. "Thank you for sacrificing yourself and helping me."

"For you anytime"

[okkotsuus]

Omg congrats on surpassing 1k followers! 💘

I just saw your milestone event and I would like to request these following prompts for Suguru!!

- you never told me that. i can't believe you never told me.

- you actually believed that shit?

- all i want is to deserve you. tell me what to do. i’ll do anything you say.

I don’t know if these prompts actually make sense together hahaha, so feel free to remove/change any of them!!

Anyways, congrats again and I hope more achievements come your way!

Have a nice day! <33

SOUL SPILLING (suguru g.) !

features: suguru geto

contents: angst. post-defection geto. pining. depictions of grief. 0.8k

notes: thank you love, i hope you have the most wonderful day!!

1000 followers event!

the day suguru officially left jujutsu tech was a day that was forever scarred in your memory. the vision of gojo shaking next to you, knuckles as white as his hair. his nails dug so deep into his palms that blood dripped down onto the floor beneath you.

yaga was also heartbroken, though he'd never allow it to show in front of his students. he played hardass, but you heard the tears he shed when he received the news.

satoru ran off in an instant, while you remained more calm. not because you were dealing with the news in any way that was sensible: but simply because the shock brought you to a standstill.

suguru had always been the moral compass for you second years. gojo didn't give a damn about anyone, shoko cared only about duty, and you often found yourself doubting whether it was worth it to be a sorcerer for people who cursed your existence as witchcraft. but never him.

he was perfect in every sense of the word. kind. charismatic. smart as a whip. suguru geto was the ideal.

but he had defected, slaughtered an entire village.

unlike gojo, the white-hot rage of betrayal didn't course through your veins, your heart didn't pound so loudly in your ears that it drowned out your senses.

because you knew suguru better than anyone, and there was no way in any world that he would ever do this without a proper reason.

so you waited, bode your time. there would be no massive fallout like he and satoru had. there would be no passing reunion like he had with ieiri. in the name of duty, you perservered, until fate brought the two of you together years later.

he finds you in the mountains while you're on a grade one mission, hunting an apparition that had been terrorizing hikers. like some sort of crooked martyr, he emerges from the underbrush, robes billowing in the wind. the firelight gleams against his skin, painting that beautiful picture your mind never allowed to rest.

topaz eyes find e/c in an instant, a smile crosses his face. it wasn't sincere, but it was something. something that left you craving more.

you find yourself patting the ground beside you, almost instinctually. there's a quirk to his brow before he obliges. there's a silence in the air, heavy and thick, as weighted as the arms-length between you.

"i suspected you despised me, y/n, there would be reason within it..." suguru speaks, finally shattering the wall that had been built between the two of you. it brigs a crooked smile to your face, idly shaking your head as you throw a rock into the flames.

as the sparks flicker up into the stars, you too find your lips moving. "you actually believed that shit?" a chuckle rings like bells in his ears as his eyes widen in response.

y/n hadn't hated suguru a day in their life, defection or not. that much was apparent in the lack of malice in those e/c irises, calm as the last day he had seen you. over three years ago.

just like old times, he brings words out of you before your mind can even move to stop him: like your soul was spilling before him. "i've loved you for years now, don't think anything could ever make me hate you. there is method to your madness, i am certain of this."

suguru has never been a man that was caught off-guard, it only ever happened twice before: when the monster toji zenin walked this earth, and when he entered that damned village out in sticks.

but, he finds his breath hitching once more in spite of everything, because it's you.

it's you telling him that you've always loved him.

"you never told me that... i can't believe you never told me." suguru whispers, looking straight at you, as if looking though you into your very soul: the same one that a'ways found its way to him. "all i want is to deserve you. tell me what to do. i'll do anything you say."

this time, it's him that finds his mouth moving before his mind. his eyes are soft, it's reminiscent of the suguru that walked beside you instead of away from you. because that's still who he is, regardless of the decisions he makes.

life be damned, he is still your suguru.

"i don't think you could ever be unworthy of me, suguru."

okkotsuus 24

[obaex]

the one that chases you (one) - rafe cameron

summary: jj makes a decision that will alter the course of your summer, driving you to figure out who you really are and who you really want.

word count: 1k

warnings: mention of drugs, heartbreak

a/n: my first series! i hope y'all enjoy it. it's fully written, i plan on releasing a new part every few days. let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

series masterlist

You were laying with your head on JJ's lap, eyes fluttering, heavy with the weight of a day in the sun and the weed that had been passed around earlier. John B navigated the boat to the dock and JJ shifted you off of him to help tie it off and unload the cooler. He had been off today. Distant. When you kissed him, you felt like his mind was somewhere else and he wasn't his usual handsy self. You had chalked this up to a bad day, but you couldn't scratch the feeling that there was something else brewing under the surface. You had been dating for months now and with summer just getting started you were excited to spend your days surfing, going to the beach together and partying at the boneyard.

You were the last one off the boat and JJ pulled you aside as the others wandered off the dock and into the chateau.

"Hey, can we talk for a minute?"

Your heart plummeted into your stomach. This didn't bode well.

"JJ…what is it?" you said, instantly concerned.

"The last few months have been great. Honestly, so fun. But, summer is here and we're going to be so busy with everything and I want to have time for the boys, you know? To hang out with John B and Pope, I mean even Kie really. I think we'd be better off as friends. Just keep things chill, you know?"

This wasn't happening.

Every word was a punch to your gut. Your lip was quivering involuntarily, but you didn't want him to see you cry. Just keep things chill? After six months together spent tangled up in his sheets, your hands running through his blonde hair, blue eyes transfixed on you? Just keep things chill? You had been falling hard and fast, the L-word lingering on your lips, too afraid to say it for fear it wouldn't be reciprocated and now your worst nightmare had come true. You thought you had finally held the attention of the island's playboy, now you were just one in a long line of broken hearts. You felt like a fool.

You knew if you tried to say anything your emotions would get the best of you, so you pursed your lips tightly and nodded like you totally, absolutely understood and agreed.

"Nice! Right on. I knew you'd get it” he said. “So, like we're cool to start seeing other people, it won't be weird?"

Was he really asking you about seeing other people in the same breath that he was breaking up with you?

"Seriously, JJ?" you broke your silence, incredulous. "Un-fucking-believable." And with that, your tears began to flow. "I don't know why I thought I was any different to you, why I thought I was special. Clearly I'm not, so go do what you want to do, I won't stand in your way."

You shoved past him, picking up your pace as you ran down the dock, embarrassed and ashamed that you let him see you crumble. He didn't say anything, he didn't try to follow you, he just let you go.

"Hey - what's going on?" Sarah called from the back porch as you ran past her towards your car. She continued to call after you, chasing you as you got into your front seat, your tears falling heavily now as sobs wracked your body. You fumbled your keys, trying to put them in the ignition and failing.

"Oh my god, he didn't" she said, instantly piecing together the situation. "I am so sorry, come here." She crawled into the front seat next to you, pulling you into her arms.

"Give me the keys, you can't drive like this. I'll take you home." You relented, crawling into the passenger seat, resting your head against the window and continuing to cry as she navigated back to Figure 8.

Just like her and Kie, you were a kook-turned-pogue, enticed by the carefree, laidback nature of life on the cut and the smooth-talking blonde surfer that had said all the right things. So much for that.

Sarah pulled into your driveway, located right next to hers. You had been best friends and neighbors your entire life and you never felt more grateful to have her taking care of you as she came inside and tucked you into your bed.

"Obligatory best friend speech" she said, "I know you cared about him, more than you let him know. I am so damn sorry Y/N, I hate to see you like this. You deserve so much more than him. Seriously, you deserve someone that's going to chase after you and pursue you and only have eyes for you. And I promise he's out there. Everything happens for a reason. But, for now you need to give yourself time to rest and heal and cry and eat the tub of ice cream in your freezer. Okay?"

You nodded, sniffling and reached out to hug her before burying yourself deep in your sheets.

Sarah crossed through your backyard into hers, sliding through the front door and making her way to the kitchen where Wheezie sat on her phone.

"Are you seriously home on a Saturday night right now?" she asked teasingly.

Sarah shot her a look, "Friend emergency."

"What happened?"

"Do not repeat this, but Y/N and JJ broke up. It was awful, she's devastated."

"What!? What an asshole."

"Wheezie!"

"It's true!"

"You're not wrong. He is just not boyfriend material. Promise me you'll stay away from boys forever?" Sarah said, ruffling her sister's hair as she made her way upstairs. She rounded the corner and ran straight into Rafe who was lingering in the hallway. She eyed him suspiciously, “Were you eavesdropping?" she asked.

"What? No? M'just going to get a drink" he mumbled, brushing past her.

In reality, he had heard every word and his mind was running a mile a minute.

part two series masterlist

[torturing-characters-101]

hi!! so, in my fantasy novel, my character gets stabbed through the lung; he survives, but suffers from a collapsed lung and his family believes he's dead. Eventually, he's taken as a prisoner of war (he's a king) they patch him up, and he ends up escaping. He then meets a woman in the woods, who lives in a village nearby, who tends to his wounds.

My first question is, in a medieval setting, how would they go about patching him up enough for him to 1) live, since he is a big part of the plot and 2) be able to make his way through the woods for the woman to find him? They don't have magical healers, but they would've planned for a life-threatening injury. The woman also has advanced knowledge + access to medicinal herbs and medieval medicine.

Secondly, what would be the long term effects of his chest wound? He ends up being found by the enemy and tortured for around seven months, and his wounds wouldn't be cleaned or dressed from that moment on unless they absolutely had to. Would the wound still heal and just leave a nasty scar? Or would it never close and heal? How would this affect his day-to-day life after he's rescued? Would it still be pulled open and start to bleed, or would it be healed enough so that that wouldn't happen? He winds up with pneumonia too, and I assume this wouldn't bode well for his lung?

I know there's a lot, I'm sorry, but I've been really struggling with finding the proper information about this! It's hard, because it's in a medieval setting where they don't have modern medicine, or hospitals, or anything of the sort; this character has to live though. I appreciate any help / tips you can offer!!!! 🥹🥹

Your character might be able to survive a small closed pneumothorax, and they might be able to survive a stab to the chest that was only muscle deep, but any injury that opens the chest cavity (say, a stab wound that goes into the lung) would generally not be survivable in the medieval period with the resources and knowledge available.

The problem is that what you're describing is something called a sucking chest wound. You breathe in when a muscle called the diaphragm contracts and pulls your lungs downward. This creates more space in the chest, which causes air to enter your lungs and fill the space. If there's an opening in the chest wall, though, air goes in through that instead of filling the lungs. This fills the chest cavity with air outside the lung, which causes the lungs to deflate. The person then suffocates.

The absolute most rudimentary way to fix this is to put an occlusive dressing over it ASAP (like, within seconds) and hope the pneumothorax fixes itself (which is possible, as long as it's small) and no infection results. An occlusive dressing is a water proof, air proof bandage that prevents any more air from getting in, usually duct-taped on 3-4 sides.

Unfortunately, even if someone knew what to do here, the materials of the day and place would not do the job. While rubberized garments existed in the Americas in this time, it did not exist in Europe. Even oilcloth didn't exist in Europe until the 18th century, and there was no waterproof, airproof material before that in this area.

The closest he could have gotten was a thin sheet of tanned leather, probably pasted to his chest with something like pine resin, which hopefully would harden into a non-breathable layer. This would have to be put on within seconds and stay on for about a month. This was not a known technique at the time, but if I were to time travel into the middle ages that's what I would do. And again, since it would have to have been done in seconds, you'll have to get creative on how it happens.

Assuming he did survive (which would be a miracle), he'd have a scar on the outside and probably scarring on his lung, which might mean he lost the use of part of his lung. This might mean he would get out of breath more easily, and could be life threatening if he did get the pneumonia you mentioned.

Since this is for a piece of original fiction, if you want to discuss this further, you can hire me here.

[golbrocklovely]

finally, after so long, here is my review of the conjuring series/hell week.

this is EXTREMELY LONG so strap in, grab a drink, and a snack. or, feel free to skip to the end to read my overall thoughts lol

like previous hell weeks, i'm gonna rate each episode and then answer whether or not i would rewatch the episode.

lmk what you guys thought !

episode one:

the obvious meat and potatoes of this whole video was satori and cody's method, which i'm just gonna refer to as The Method just bc it's easier to say then writing out their names over and over again lol

i'll be honest with you, i'm super glad that snc did their best to debunk the tapping and whatnot. i honestly think that if they hadn't tried, a lot of ppl wouldn't believe them at all or would think that either they're lying, or satori and cody are.

as for the answers that satori and cody gave… it's hard. bc on one hand i truly do believe in psychics and mediums. i myself have experienced readings or things i have done on my own. i have had a lot of things happen to me that just logically don't make sense. i do believe there are ppl that have the ability to talk to the dead. but part of me is weary of satori and cody. idk know them from a hole in the wall. they could have easily researched snc, and their past relatives, and just bullshitted the rest. same thing with their producer. it's not hard to look up someone's ancestry. i would like to believe that isn't the case, but you can't be too sure.

the debunking that snc tried did make a strong case for The Method, especially doing it in random locations that they didn't know about. but again… idk. part of me just felt like i was side-eying the whole time. and look, i want to believe that they have good intentions and they are genuinely contacting something. but again, ppl lie for far less.

but no matter if they were lying or not, i 100% believe snc's reaction to it. it was real for them, and that's all that really matters to me tbh.

i felt really bad for sam, or i guess happy for him but sad that he was crying so much. my theory with him has always been that even tho he has experienced attachments and heard things, seen things, all that jazz - i truly think for the longest time he never fully believed. i think he would rather chalk up a paranormal experience as a group psychosis before saying a place was haunted. but since that probably wouldn't bode well for either of them, he just agreed that what they experienced was "crazy" and moved on like nothing happened. also, i have this general feeling that he doesn't believe his own experiences, which is why he questions ppl like colby when he goes thru something, but i haven't really fleshed out why that could be the case. but i think this was his "come to jesus" moment, so to speak. i mean, he explained it himself that he honestly didn't think there was anything after this life. that once you died, you're gone. so this was both great and terrifying news to hear. not to mention, to hear it from your dead grandmother was definitely surprising for sure. i honestly hope this brought him some closure or comfort. bc i know i always felt really sad growing up that my grandparents, literally all of them, never got to see me graduate high school or college or perform on stage. but i always had a feeling that they watched me do all of that so it's nice to hear that for someone else, that was the case.

granted, The Method could just be bullshit to conjure up an emotional response for views and notoriety… but for now, i'm gonna just take it at face value. sure, it's real. i think what also makes me lean towards that is that cody and satori don't charge ppl for this. it only happens at the conjuring for the most part, so…. unless they start becoming a side-show circus act with a big ticket price, i'm just gonna take them at their word. plus, the random locations snc took them to, unless the boys are in on it (which opens up too many cans of worms), The Method wouldn't have been able to work in these spots or actually have satori and cody come up with real ppl that died there.

i will say tho, it was kinda funny that sam's having this emotional breakdown over hearing his grandmom telling him she's watching over him and his siblings, and then colby's getting his great grandfather coming thru to tell him to tell his parents that he's there lol like…. thanks dude i never met. appreciate the love and support.

overall this episode was fine. it wasn't my favorite of the series, but it wasn't a bad way to start the series. this episode did draw me in enough to want to see the rest, but i was also a little weary of what was to come.

(oh yeah i forgot to add that the new owner… something feels deeply off about her. like i can't put my finger on it, but if it comes out years down the line that she was bringing demons into the house or something, i will not be surprised lol)

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess, but not fully

~~~~~~~~

episode two:

so going into this episode, i was a bit… not excited, since i knew amanda was going to be in the video. i've always had my reservations with her. mostly, i think she has abilities, i just think she talks them up to be something that they aren't. plus she has made some comments in past videos that just make me look at her sideways bc they don't make a lick of fucking sense (ie queen mary, she talked to a ghost that said he had lived other lives before this one, he was just stuck in this one for some reason, and she literally told snc she didn't believe that bc "reincarnation isn't in the bible" …..BRO, you talk to the dead. maybe not everything in a 2000+ year old book that's been translated 150+ times is gonna be accurate. also again, need i remind you, YOU TALK TO DEAD PPL). as for how i felt about her during this episode, she was fine, i guess. the only time she annoyed me was during the estes method where her and sam were just bouncing off one another in the worse way lol but i'll get more into that later.

i think it was really interesting that they interviewed andrea perron. they need to do that more often: find ppl that used to live in these places that they visit and get their story, instead of just listening to tour guides who amp up the scares just bc they need to. i thought her interview was really intriguing and i can only imagine how horrible it must have been to live in that house all the way back then. and to see your mother get thrown across the room?? idk what i would even do as a kid in that moment.

so the first part of the investigation was with amanda, snc, and cody and satori. (side note, i love that the touch toy for the ghost kids is a basset hound). i think this whole first part was kinda funny only bc in my most cynical mind, it's three fake mediums trying to one up each other the whole time lol

i don't fully believe that, but that's what my mind kept going back to.

i do find it odd that amanda couldn't see her past relatives but The Method was able to allow them to talk. idk, if i could see dead ppl, i think i would be a bit pissed if my loved ones were like "nah, i know you got the vision but i ain't showing myself in front of you". it also doesn't really help her case of what her abilities are or how strong they are if she can't even see ppl she actually once knew.

i also find it odd that all loved ones are apparently able to get across is "watching over __" bc both snc and now amanda got that message. again, to me, this just reads as like someone in this scenario is faking something. idk what, but i just remember laughing at this whole part bc it just felt funny to watch each one try to one up the other and then snc are just like :O the whole time.

and what made this top tier comedy to me was sam asking who wrote amanda's name, and them saying it was a spirit. i'm so sorry…. but you gotta be on fucking CRACK to think that happened. i believe in ghost, the paranormal, the whole enchilada………. but a ghost soldier wrote amanda's name in the sand???? no. sorry. that didn't happened. and you cannot tell me it did lmao

honestly in situations like this, i'm more incline to believe equipment than these, respectfully, quack jobs.

i thought it was sweet that colby kept being really nice to abigail and calling her the matriarch of the house. isn't he just a sweet boy lol

the second half of the day 2 was where i got more interested and into the video. the rempod going off constantly, the camera immediately dying, that little cabinet door opening, all of that in like five minutes is crazy. and then the estes method, while interesting, was also deeply annoying since sam and amanda decided to tag team and do the one thing i hate that they try to do during the estes method - connect everything while the words are still coming out. like CALM DOWN. connect later. it was freaky to see the rempod going off in time with their estes method tho.

the woods session was kinda cool. idk how i feel about the alice box yet. why does it only say some words but the others are just on the little text box? whatever i guess. gonna be honest, woods don't really scare me for paranormal reasons. i'm more inclined to believe i'm gonna get my ass eaten by a bear or stabbed by a human so it wasn't really all that creepy, but it was cool to see this half. and then to have snc sleep in the woods… props. but to be in the woods in august in hoodies was a choice i wouldn't make, personally.

day three josh and seth came and thank GOD there were ppl in this series/episode i actually liked that joined them. their half made the video a lot better. so they start off by doing the ritual, which honestly just felt more like (literally) dancing on someone's grave so…. idk about that one. a bit disrespectful if you ask me. colby literally did the ice spice on her grave… boy i would haunt your ass for eternity for that one lmao

hearing andrea perron speak of that fateful night of her mother being possessed, again, my heart breaks for her. whether you believe in the paranormal or not, something traumatic happened to her and her family. and i just feel for her.

so when they moved on into the investigation, i just gotta say, if they plan to use the spirit box, they NEED to invest in a microphone or a better speaker for that thing bc good god i couldn't hear a single thing that was coming thru. but moving past the spirit box, the door to the library just opening on it's own?? and the camera moving slightly?? that's nuts. bc it's one thing for a draft to open a door. you're talking about the middle of august tho. there's not gonna be strong winds (for the most part) during that time of the year unless it's storming. so if a draft blew the door open, it had to have been a HUGE one to literally push a rock out of the way. and it can't be ac bc then that door would be constantly opening.

when they separated, i get why they did, but like… why do you have to do it in the dark? i would be turning on flashlights or some form of light immediately. you're not about to catching me busting my ass on the stairs of a 300+ year old house lol

josh's sleeve moving was actually kinda freaky, ngl. i know it was very subtle, and technically could have just him moving his arm and then feeling the sleeve pull or relax or whatever, but to me… it looked like something pulled it.

then when snc went in alone, i find it funny to think of a spirit just running up and down the stairs, fucking with the rempod or the motion sensor, just to see them freak out. when sam invited whatever it was up to them, and then it got near the motion thing, and colby noped out of there and literally yelled at sam like "why did you invite it up here with us?!" ngl - favorite part of the whole video. also it was kinda cute that snc tried to do The Method on their own. kinda wish it would have worked for them.

colby doing the whole "imagine being andrea perron" speech he gave…. colby, can you not? also, are you good? lol

okay, so my overall thoughts on this episode - dragged in the beginning, but got good half way thru. they also got some really good evidence outside of The Method, which i would rather they not use every episode (but end up doing regardless).

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: sure, but only the second half

~~~~~~~~

episode three

so the previous episode left off with sam going into the basement late at night, almost looking possessed or something. and while i obviously didn't think that, i did want to know why he would go down there alone for some reason.

but that's for a later point in this review. let's get to the collab they did.

larray and bella…….. omg, i'll just be completely honest: i hated this collab. like genuinely, it takes a lot for me to find ppl insufferable, but larray took the cake this time. bella was fine, she seemed nice and did her best. and i love that me and @xplrvibes literally said "oh i bet they're gonna try to say bella is an empath bc she's a girl bc they do that all the time" and WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE IT 11 minutes in they asked if she was one. i'm just glad she said no lol but back to larray……. first off, that shirt was a choice. and i'll leave it at that. but secondly, i'm okay with ppl joking is scary situations. i'm okay with them having guests that hear them say something insane and then immediately go "yeah fuck no to that, i'm leaving" or some iteration of that joke. but, larray took it too far. i don't think he said anything else other than "i don't want to be here" ect. and i get he was scared, but GOD, SHUT UP. like i got it the first five times you said it, i don't need to hear it the next 24. it literally took for him to get a message from the beyond to get him to be quiet.

i'll be honest, i don't even want to review this half of the video bc it was SUCH a drag. i remember i wasn't even half way thru and i was like… oh you're joking, we're not done yet? bc that's how annoying that whole section was. it wasn't solely larray, but he definitely exacerbated the problem.

the ring of lights that ppl can cross over, idk about that. it feels like it's fake but whatever. bella having a separate phone just for content… i love that for her lol them going into the basement is cut short only for the fact that we KNOW sam went down there first and colby was none the wiser until like two days later. The Method being done for bella and larray was cool i guess. but then sam getting an extremely private message that he couldn't share, i get that. and i hope that whatever message he got was something he needed to hear (but the way he mouthed "oh no" makes me think otherwise). my only issue is why even use any of the footage from that then? i know it's a bit nitpicky, so i'm not gonna press on it too much.

to the fans on tiktok that were saying "omg what if the message was from corey la barrie"….. please seek professional help. this isn't a fanfic. stop thinking like it is. bc i saw MULTIPLE tiktoks saying that.

but continuing on with The Method, i'll be honest with you: i'm not sure what the afterlife is like or what it entails. but it is hard for me to just blindly accept that it's all good and light and love and whatever random other words satori and cody wanted to throw in there that abigail said. i know it's my cynical mind, but hearing shit like that just makes me roll my eyes. like i know that sounds dark and sad, but that whole thing just made me go like "okay… sure."

maybe it's bc it's too generic. like that's what every form of media has said about the other side for forever. if i was able to get my point across and reach a ton of ppl, i would be sending messages like "god is woman and she sucks at beer pong" or "ice cream is free up here but only on tuesdays" or "guess what? i'm hanging out with EVERYONE'S dogs" not just love and light. boooorrrrriiiinnngggg lol

but i will note something that i thought was interesting only bc i've always had a similar thought process: cody says he doesn't know why they're able to do what they do. he believes it might have had something to do with his cancer complications and dying once. and the reason why i can believe that is i've always had this belief - so, as someone who has attempted to end my own life twice, i've come very close to death. and i think ppl that knock on death's door, you can't just unknock. you can't ding dong ditch death. so i kinda feel like those that get very close to the other side cross a line that can't be uncrossed, so to speak. which i think is also why i had the most paranormal experiences when i was going through some dark times (or had just gone thru them).

what i find peculiar is how the narrative of the basement has changed. before it was dark and demented, something evil lurking around each corner, colby having a full blown panic attack down there. all that, right? but now it's "oh it's just a trickster spirit that likes to cause havoc and is for the most part harmless. and also really would rather you be in the woods." and yet even with that knowledge in mind, everyone was still too freaked out. like if they kept getting cryptic and weird messages i would just be like "find a different trick. you don't scare me" or eventually just leave the basement altogether if nothing was going to be happening besides "come to the woods" over and over again.

but bc snc never listen, they went to woods. and again… woods to me aren't scary for paranormal reasons. more so for bears or humans. but they did get some cool evidence at the graveyard.

i'm just gonna skip that whole thing and get to the part that i want, no - NEED, to talk about which is…. colby standing up for himself when sam told him about the basement.

i was genuinely confused as to why snc weren't mentioning sam going into the basement. like i figured, sam went down there, something happened, and then he told colby. or something to that effect. but to find out that a) he had no real plans of posting this into the vid and b) he waited like two days to finally tell colby it happened…. that's really fucked, ngl. the absolute hurt that was on colby's face is so evident, no wonder sam started backpedaling (but just made it all the more worse). like colby has made it abundantly clear time and time again that he doesn't like being left in the dark about where someone is going/doesn't like being left behind and sam did exactly that. not only that, but he then did something that both him and colby swore they would do together - go to the basement. everyone was waiting to see them go together and experience whatever's down there, but sam took that for himself - like colby said. and then sam tried to justify it with "oh nothing really happened, plus we don't have to show fans, plus i really needed to do it bc everything has been so crazy" and it's like………. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU???? it's colby. while colby might have had some form of belief system before all of this, this whole situation has been insane to him as well. so you don't get to use that as an excuse. and then to say that fans don't need to see this footage, that just feels wrong. bc at the end of the day, the person sam hurt was colby. and regardless of whether or not we would have known about it, colby still would have known. and that's the part that sucks. sam was extremely self-centered for making this decision and then thinking colby would just let it slide.

and i know some of you are gonna probably be up my ass about this opinion since god forbid i give criticism towards sam. but i would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, especially if sam was upset about it. and god knows there wouldn't have been an argument about including those clips in a video, but i digress. i just think it was messed up of sam to do to that to colby. and i hope bts he apologized profusely.

but to be a bit more light hearted about it… colby looks really hot when he's angry or annoyed. so that's nice, i guess lol it's the clenched jaw and the narrowed eyes, in case you didn't know why you found it hot either. also, he was too calm, and that's hot AND scary lol

i think it's funny to think that if they didn't include sam going there by himself and then this confrontation, we would never know why in the next part colby seemed annoyed/angry and ppl probably would have just blamed the spirits or some shit.

which also did happen…

but to bring it back for a second, you know what the scariest part of this video was for me? the tick on colby's leg. GROSS. disgusting. i would have screamed so loud i'd wake the dead lmao

but anyway the estes methods they did in the basement were very revealing and honestly the best part of the episode imo. them realizing, or believing, that dave is actually the trickster spirit and not some soldier following them around was actually really cool to see unravel. and surprisingly this time around sam jumping to conclusion over and over again paid off well. and then when colby was asking the questions, it was interesting to see his reaction to what was being said. him being annoyed at sam before hand really elevated the estes method, funny enough.

maybe it's bc i don't know about trickster spirits and what they are meant to do or whatever, but if i know the spirit i'm talking to is fucking with me, i'm just not gonna talk to it anymore. i'm not gonna give it what it wants, which is to see me scared. and i think snc, without knowing it, were feeding into what dave wanted.

their equipment malfunctioning over and over again was crazy, ngl. but the actual scariest part of the whole vid was who the FUCK was that behind them in the basement coming up the steps??? fuck The Method, now THAT is proof of the other side existing, especially if snc were alone in that house at that point (which assumingly they were).

so this episode was a bit of rollercoaster for me. some parts were just plan bad to me. like i wouldn't even consider rewatching the first half again tbh. it was tedious to do it just to make this review, so that alone deducts this episode a bunch. but the second half, basically everything after The Method where larray and bella's loved ones talked to them, was pretty decent/better. and of course, once snc were alone, the video was at its best. i truly wish snc would just realize that they do so much better and get such better results without other ppl. just the two of them is enough. i truly wanted to like this episode, and i did to some extent, but no offense to larray, his over reactions just soured most of the video for me. he seems like a nice guy, and i didn't mind him the first time around when snc collabed with him, but god… just shut up next time lol

rating: 2.9/5

would i rewatch: only the tail end, tbh…. so no i guess lol

~~~~~~~~

episode four

i'll be honest with yall, i was mixed about how this final episode was gonna play out. part of me was excited to see it, another part of me was like… eh, don't care. but i will say, i was pleasantly surprised with this one. i guess in a weird way it was my favorite of all the episodes, but that's not saying much since none were really my favorite anyway.

niki and george were fantastic. honestly no notes. they didn't talk the entire fucking time, they weren't overly negative, they kept in line with snc's humor and or seriousness. i loved it truly. 10/10.

i completely forgot that kris called them to tell them about a dream she had. her and niki, and celina too… all having dreams about snc. what are they, fans??

i'm joking btw.

i think the dream element can be a bit questionable, but i do also think it's kinda creepy too. even if for argument's sake it's not real and/or is propped up to be something more serious than it is.

the foil house/tent thing they built was…. confusing. but i'm down for them to start using different methods, especially if they end up working or are interesting. they split up and neither really got anything that compelling, but when they played the picture game it was creepy that only colby's pics got fucked with a bit. it's always colby lol

but i gotta ask, didn't they break the first rule of the game which is nothing is supposed to cross over the circle in the middle? bc sam did that by putting the water cup down in it. also, i highly doubt that snc trashed that camera. highkey it's probably in their office rn.

the duel estes method, in theory, is a cool idea. but the execution wasn't really good enough. like sure, they got some answers, i guess. but half of the words were just random. and tying niki and colby together was kinda pointless. snc just love exploring their kinks on camera huh skskks jk

so, i think what was a bit confusing about sam freaking out (before) going into the basement is that did you really think colby wasn't gonna send you down there at some point? he has made a big stink about it since it happened to him. of course sam had to have known this was gonna happen. not to mention, sam's fucking challenge for colby would have literally caused him to get lost in the woods…. so i would say sam got the nicer of the two options.

as for what transpired in the basement, clearly sam was absolutely losing it. whether it was paranormal or not, he was scared out of his fucking mind. and i get it must have been creepy as hell down there. and god knows he lasted longer than i would have. but there is no reason he has to push himself that far to believe there is something more. like is it really worth being permanently scarred just to know if something is down there? not to mention, but whatever is down there, feeds off of havoc and scared energy. and you basically fell into its trap. like, i'm not blaming sam for freaking out. god knows i would be way worse in that situation. but i also wouldn't have been the dumbass who leaves my phone upstairs and has no extra back up light.

also colby is too forgiving bc i would been like "since you love the basement so much, here you go :)" lmaooo

(sidenote, why is colby walking around in only his socks???? ewwwww. do that in your own home, not the conjuring my guy. and another sidenote, does sam's face look swollen in the basement, or is that just the camera being hella zoomed in? idk why he just looks different)

colby giving a whole disclaimer or explanation about why he could leave sam in the basement…. i blame the fandom bc there is no reason for him to being doing all that. sam was literally gonna have him walk alone to the fucking graveyard. sam is fine in the basement. he can leave whenever he wants to. colby ain't a bad guy for giving him a challenge like that.

the walkie dying is so eerily spooky to the og alone conjuring video it's kinda crazy. but, maybe there is just bad reception lol

moving onto the final stretch of the video, the tarot reading. i know snc kinda showed more of the original reading on xplrclub, but if they truly think her first reading was super accurate, i really hope this reading is also just as accurate. snc deserve a lot more positive than negative these next couple months. so i hope that happens for them.

(might have to do a tarot reading on them myself just for funsies)

The Method's last messages… again, idk. imma just say this, to quote beetlejuice the musical "positivity is luxury that few can afford" and i'll just leave me beliefs at that.

i'll be completely honest with yall, idk what the priestess did with snc. the whole thing, the ouija board and exorcism/cleansing was intriguing, don't get me wrong, but idk what the fuck was happening. i kinda just watched it and accepted it at face value bc again, idk anything. it probably would have been for the best if snc explained it a bit better or did something to let us know what was up. i don't really believe everything that the priestess believes, but i do find her interesting enough that i hope she comes back eventually. god knows snc are gonna need another cleansing at some point.

colby going into the woods blindfolded…. is he trying to literally fall off of a bridge? what is with yall using blindfolds and ties? enough of the kinky shit, already.

but as for what happened out there, i think it was an interesting end to the final investigation. i could sort of hear something running up on colby, and i can only imagine how that would have felt in the moment. and who knows what it could have been? my bet is it was an animal, but i also feel like if it was one, it would have kept chasing him. but who knows. i'm just glad he didn't get hurt.

overall, i would say this was my favorite episode. i think it had a lot more high moments than lows, and that alone makes it the best. the collabs were good in this one, they got really cool evidence, and it was just a great way to wrap up this series.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

~~~~~~~~

now, onto my thoughts on this whole thing:

so going into this series, i wasn't too excited, as i had mentioned before. i felt as if snc should have taken this year off and came back during hell week if that was something they direly wanted to do. bc a lot of the content that came out this year was just… not good. it wasn't on par with what their calibar is. but i think this series was probably the best thing that came out this year by them. a lot of cool and interesting things happened in this series, and clearly snc's hearts were fully invested in this. there was passion in this series, and that's what a lot of their other videos this year have lacked, imo.

as for The Method and it changing the world….. i love snc, clearly. i deeply care for them. but they truly need to have someone in their camp that's gonna tell them reality. i mean, just as i'm writing this, there are tons of ppl on tiktok and youtube trying to disprove and nitpick apart the series and in particular The Method. but here's how i feel about that: satori and cody could be lying, that's true. they could be faking it somehow. but i don't think that's the takeaway from this series. i've seen how many ppl this brought closure to, how many ppl feel better now knowing there is something else after this life. and that in itself is worth it, even if it's not real. this series wasn't gonna change my mind bc i myself already believed in the paranormal and already believed that there is something more out there. i don't need two random ppl to prove to me i'm right. i already believe that on my own. and in that regard, i know that this series isn't for me. it's for those that needed to hear those words, that needed the confirmation. and for those ppl, i'm happy this gave you that. honest to god. just bc i didn't get that out of this doesn't mean i look down on those that did. if this helped you in any way, that's fantastic and i'm glad. i'm not here to argue whether or not The Method is a lie. idc tbh. snc believe it, and i believe them.

and if it comes out that satori and cody lied, fuck them. but until otherwise proven, i'll believe what they're selling. i'm just… not gonna buy any myself.

but even taking them out of the conjuring equation, snc caught some crazy shit there. of course, a lot of it was amplified by The Method, but i think what they did outside of that was more interesting and compelling than The Method. what i think will be more important is what they now do with the information they know. how are they gonna move forward now knowing what they know? what are they gonna impliment now that they didn't think to use before the conjuring? that's what matters to me.

idk if i got an ask that said this or not (i would have to double check but if i did - hi anon, here's your answer), but i know ppl are asking how snc are gonna top themselves this next year for hell week. personally, i don't think they have to. i think they should go back to what hell week looks like usually: a bunch of different places with different guests, but now more amplified. maybe, crazy concept, do more solo investigations. how about during next year's hell week you just… go alone to all seven places? maybe stop by the conjuring another time? you already proved (for the most part) that there is an afterlife and more beyond this life, why not go back thru your greatest hits with fresh eyes? that's what will make a difference in the content and take it to the next level without you literally contacting a demon or something.

i was pleasantly surprised by this series, and i'm more excited now to see what they do next than i was before, so… mission accomplish lol

[breakfastteatime]

hope you don't mind the rant but argh i finally realised why i feel so disconnected to survivor in comparison to how close jfo is to me

spoilers for those who haven't played survivor

but i really dislike major decisions made and i'm gonna babble on a little (i've had like eight panadol and two sleeping meds as of the last hour n a half so if this doesn't make sense that's why)

one that's been swirling around my head ever since i played us that it really felt like they brought cordova back JUST to kill him off. this also ties into my next point that i find bode's betrayal hard to believe as well. every role he had in the story could easily be replaced by someone such as cere, and i felt like the only reason he was there was to have someone for bode to kill to show how really evil he was but respawn didn't want to kill any of the main cast off. he's such a useless character in the plot that killing him off didnt effect anything LMAO

my next major dislike is, understandably, about bode :,) yes i know this can come off as making excuses for a character i was attached to since the trailers dropped but the more i think about it the more i really cannot understand both the timeline and the motive that was behind bode's betrayal. i kind of get the idea he was lax about betraying them UNTIL cal mentioned using tanalorr for the hidden path but according to the echoes you get after the game bodenis plotting and scheming the whole time... plus, you think that his whole motive relies on creating a safe place for kata on tanalorr where no one can find them but also like. you have two (technically three) jedi, a nightsister, and a whole clan of anchorites that kick the empire's ass every day. "will you be able to protect her when the empire comes?" fuckass have you SEEN cal use a lightsaber?? kata is safer with cal then she is bode

dagan was hella underwhelming too which disappointed me tbh i was excited for this high republic jedi to show us all this cool stuff only for him to die in like three seconds 😔

ANYWAY i hope this ain't too long but i'd love to hear your thoughts/criticisms on js bc i love the game and all the little bits are amazing but some of the decisions made have me a bit hrghh

Okay, friend, you asked for it ;)

The decision to bring back Cordova was an unexpected one, but the sight of him makes me cry happy tears every damn time, so it doesn't bother me at all. I take your point re: Cere being able to do everything he does, but part of Bode’s betrayal also hinges on him betraying Cere to Vader, who clearly wants vengeance after Nur (which is SO IN CHARACTER for Vader I can only lol. Petty bitch.), so Bode killing her wouldn't have had quite the same impact.

Because I was so convinced he was dead that him *actually* being dead didn’t strike me as ‘brought back only to die’. I would argue that killing him off did put them at risk of not being able to reach Tanalorr and defintely drove Cal to Nova Garon, but yes… Cordova's character probably lacks development and definitive purpose compared to the others… Although even as I say that, I find myself thinking of the logs he left behind in the various ruins on Jedha and the words of advice and I just can’t get mad. Plus there's that teeny hint that he's been unwell when Merrin asks how he's feeling. I see your points, yes, but I'm not too fussed by any of it.

Moving onto Bode...

So, here’s my interpretation of Bode, based on the post-game echoes and the little nuances that take on a totally new light on a replay. Bode is playing Cal from the very beginning. They are never friends from Bode’s perspective, and he is a master manipulator. He’s a textbook abuser – he lovebombs Cal with compliments and praise to cement their relationship, and does the same with everyone in his family. Plus, he used his knowledge of Cere’s location to further his cause with the Empire.

There’s also a power dynamic at play here because Bode was a Jedi Knight during the war while Cal was still a Padawan. Bode is older and more experienced with the world than Cal. He knows Cal longs for friendship, and he wields that against him more effectively than any weapon. Every action, every word, every choice Bode makes is solely to dig in deeper with Cal so he can and Kata can escape the Empire. Had Cal agreed that Tanalorr would just be for them, *maybe* Bode wouldn’t have betrayed him the way he did, but Bode is well on his way to the dark side because of his attachment to Kata. And Cal very nearly follows him because of his attachments to his family.

To me, this is what the Jedi Order meant by 'no attachments'. Jedi are allowed to love, but when that love becomes all consuming, when it becomes an obsession, that’s when the attachment becomes dangerous. Bode’s story is very similar to Anakin’s, he’s just not as powerful. Hasn’t got those Skywalker genes 😉  

Bode’s motive to me is clear – he *thinks* everything is about Kata, but actually it’s all about him. It’s about his grief and rage and fear because of his wife's death the terrible choices he made. Denvik promises that if Bode gives him what he wants (Cal and Cere), he will reveal which Inquistor murdered his wife. Bode is already in it for revenge, not his daughter's wellbeing. His choices are very pre-meditated. He is a parent, yes, and I can understand that overriding love of a child, but he is also a grieving husband who is so broken by his loss that his love for Kata has become too possessive. He is terrified of losing his daughter, and it eclipses his love for her. Kata is aware of this, and her love is also turning to fear. Bode is neglectful (he's always leaving Kata behind) and bordering on abusive at the end. He trusts no one but himself, and he even asks Cal at the very end if he can protect Kata. Cal says nothing because he knows he can’t – he’s tried protecting so many people, and he’s lost nearly all of them. He won’t make a promise he can’t keep, and that’s what completely breaks Bode. Bode doesn’t believe anyone *but him* can protect Kata because he has become completely consumed with fear and anger. Cal gave him a chance to make a better choice when he disarmed him. In fact, Bode had *so many chances* to make a better choice, and he didn’t. So, when Bode responded by choosing to try and kill Cal, Merrin *and* very nearly his own daughter, Cal had no choice but to put him down – hard. That second shot took my breath away both times I played the game because Cal knows he cannot save Bode and protect the people who matter, and by showing Bode mercy, more people will die. It's also about control - Bode tries to control everyone. Cal knows he can't, so he takes the only option left - killing Bode. Honestly, the more I think about that finale, the more intense it becomes. It's an astonishing moment.

I do wonder if the reason people struggle with Bode is because he is so nice, and he fits in so well, but it’s all fake and it’s all an act. Whether you saw it coming or not, that hurts. Cal – and the player – want so badly for Bode to be better than he is, and that’s the tragedy. Bode’s not capable of that. He has suffered losses just like Cal, but he couldn’t overcome them. It’s a lot to deal with emotionally!

And as for Dagan, I quite like him! Mostly because that final battle with him incorporates my favourite Star Wars thing – WEIRD FORCE SHIT. He’s also a mirror held up to Cal – this is what you could become if your obsession takes over you. I also think his relationship with Santari Khri is meant to show Cal the potential pitfalls of his relationship with Merrin if his attachment overcomes him… but we’ll have to see what happens next…

Gosh this got long. It's always fun to see other people's perspectives and share my own! Hope you've got some rest and feel better soon :)

[jinmukangwrites]

Weep Little Lion Man (1.5/14)

First - Previous - Next Fandom: Jedi: Survivor/Fallen Order Rating: T Warnings: minor wounds, angst Notes: this fic will primarily be in Bode or Cal's POV, I just felt that some insight on what the rest of the Mantis Crew is up to is needed. There's some things that I think definitely change from canon with Bode's betrayal happening early. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Ao3

Summary: After defeating Dagan Gera for a third and final time, the Compass ends up in Bode's hands without a scratch. He could go back to Jedha with Cal... but he's holding what he wants. He doesn't see the point in pretending any longer. He makes a split-second decision. Or: Bode's betrayal goes a bit differently. ~~~•~~~ "Friendly Fire" for Bad Things Happen Bingo!

-o-o-o-o-

Merrin never paces.

But, if she did, she's sure there would be a hole worn into the floor of the Stinger Mantis.

However, she instead sits quietly near the holo-table, glaring at the planet placed neatly at the center; their current destination.

Jedha.

It all feels like a blur; BD-1 rushing back into the saloon alone ranting in barely understandable binary about... about Dagan's death. Bode's betrayal. Cal's capture. The message to imperial forces with coordinates to the Archive. She almost didn't believe it, not until BD-1 showed them a hastily recorded hologram of the events.

She can hardly remember the argument that happened immediately after between her, Greeze, and Bd-1. Clearly, something had to happen, and the more they argued the more the rift between what they want to do, and what they have to do, became too gaping and too wide to ignore.

Leave Cere to defend and evacuate the Archive without them to attempt to rescue Cal when, first of all: they didn't know for sure where Bode has taken him, and second of all: even if Bode has left towards Tanalor, he took the only way to get there with him, and for all they knew Cal could be completely, utterly, currently out of reach.

Or, they could abandon Cal and rush to Jedha hopefully before the Empire closes in on them to help evacuate.

"Cal would want us to help Cere," Greeze had said, defeated in his tone, posture, soul.

BD-1's angry flurry of beeps and the stomping of his feet made it very obvious what he thought of that statement. "That's exactly right, and that mindset might kill him this time."

Ultimately, it was decided there's... nothing they can do for Cal yet.

It felt like fire in her veins. This helplessness.

So she did the only thing she could do, focus on the task ahead. She made communications with Cere and warned her of the situation. If Cere felt troubled over Cal's abduction, the loss of the Compass, Bode, she didn't let it waver her voice as she said she may need their help completing evacuations. It truly didn't waver in her voice, but Merrin has known Cere long enough to recognize her perfectly disguised worry and remorse better than nearly anyone.

Yes, Cal would want them to help Cere instead of him, but Cere deeply would wish the opposite and she cannot bring herself to say such things in an emergency such as this.

So here Merrin is, sitting, glaring a hole into the center of the holographic Jedha.

They can only hope they get there on time, because if the Empire arrives first and they lose... not only will Merrin never forgive herself, but she knows Cal would never forgive himself either once they do get him back.

Because they will get him back. If there was one thing BD-1 could confirm, it was that Bode wouldn't kill Cal. For whatever reason, he wants Cal alive.

For now.

Her fists clench; once Cere and the acolytes are safely relocated, Merrin will make sure Bode regrets even laying his eyes on Cal in the first place.

-o-o-o-o-

The Archive has never been so busy. Acolytes of all races, sizes, ages, genders, rush the halls gathering books, papers, data-pads. Some focus on gathering personal items, others supplies, but the focus is in the Archive. The Empire could never destroy hope, but they certainly could destroy information. Ancient Jedi teachings litter these halls, teachings the Emperor would see burned. Cere couldn't let that happen. She cannot let them have that victory.

She stands in the main archive room, bent over a desk helping gather various instruments that Cordova uses for his endless research to keep herself busy enough to keep from looking up at the blinking blue lights of the past, of knowledge, and feeling despair over how long this is taking. Who knew years of collecting would take more than a few minutes to relocate.

It takes more focus than what she's willing to acknowledge to not let her hands shake. There's a pit in her stomach, one she cannot quite fill with being busy. One she cannot brush off or ignore.

But she must.

So she works, packing, instructing, leading. These people are counting on her, and if she allows herself to slip now, there's no telling what the consequences will be.

Or well, she can make a guess on what one of the consequences will be. There's tension in the Force, and there has been since the moment Merrin had told her the Inquisitorius had been alerted to this location. There's something dark lurking, something stomach-churningly familiar.

She almost welcomes it. Almost wishes he would arrive quicker, that way she could work out her frustrations.

She shakes her head. Thoughts like that won't help anyone... let alone...

"Cere," a voice says, one that carries decades of wisdom, understanding, light. A voice she's known well and has looked up to for nearly her entire life. She glances up from her gathering and pauses, Master Cordova stands beside her, his eyes filled with concern. "It's okay to worry about him."

Trust Cordova to know Cere too well.

Cere shakes her head again, returning to her work. "I have to remain strong," she says, "Force willing, it will all work out in the end."

"Yes," Cordova agrees softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "But he is your apprentice. I know you care for him as I care for you."

Curse him, Cere thinks, blinking heavily. Curse him. She's not sure who those thoughts are meant for.

"Cere, please look at me."

She takes a deep breath, feeling like a child, looking up at the same man but with more hair, less wrinkles, the same wisdom and purity that it's intimidating.

Warmth swims through the air around him, silky and comforting and tugging on her emotions. He smiles softly at her, eyebrows pinched. "I know what happened to Trilla has never left you," he says, and that child within her wants to cringe away and hide. "I know it still haunts you, and I know you're terrified of the same happening to Cal."

"Vader isn't after him," she says tightly. "It's the archive he wants, we should continue-"

"Let me finish."

Her lips press together.

"You're afraid that the others coming to help you will doom him," he says, "that if the worst happens, then it will be your fault."

The pit in her stomach turns into a sharp, stabbing agony, like a lightsaber driven through her gut. Her words waver for the first time, choking at her throat. "What if I've failed him?"

She feels just like the ruins around them, composure finally crumbling under the weight of wind, sand, time. It feels like shattering; a vase she's worked hard to repair with lines of gold only to see it destroyed once again in front of her very eyes.

"You have never failed him," Cordova says, "he is the man he is today because of you."

She clenches her hands, fighting off trembles. "Is that a good thing?" She whispers. "His warrior attitude, his bold-headed arrogance to go head first into every battle? Help every person? Sacrifice himself in the process? Sometimes I wonder if finding him on Bracca ripped him away from old age."

"From what I understand, if you hadn't come for him, he'd be in the hands of the Inquisitorius."

"Trilla was who found him," she whispers.

He tightens his hand on her shoulder. Not painfully, but firmly. "Then some other Inquisitor would have found him. The Empire would have come for him whether or not Trilla was one of them. You pulled him out of there, gave him purpose again. You had him follow in my footsteps, and he reconnected with the Force and gained a greater understanding of himself and forgive himself for what happened to his Master. You gave him a life worth living."

Her lips tremble for just a moment. "He thinks his life is only worth living if he's a weapon in use."

"I don't believe that's entirely your doing," he says.

That, Cere could almost agree with. The phrase hold the line leaves Cal's lips far too often with far too much meaning to be something he coined himself. However, she's never succeeded in convincing him out of it. She's positive that Jaro Tapal never meant to make that his life's motto, never meant to make him feel he's a one-man army, and if he's not fighting the Empire then he's betraying his Master's legacy. Cere is sure that if Master Tapal still lived and saw Cal as he is now he'd be furious. No one ever realizes the words they speak with dying breaths hold more weight than if you were to condense the entire Galaxy to fit within the palm of your hand.

Her next breath quivers. "I need him to be okay."

"He will be," Cordova assures. "He's your boy, he's strong like you. Just how you will always be my little girl, and that I know you are strong like me. It's good to feel that fear for family, but you cannot let it control your actions from here. Do not suppress it, accept it, channel it into helping these people around us, evacuating the archive and saving what little history we guard. Once we are safe, then we can get him safe. You cannot let this shake your value for your own life and what we do here. We both know what's coming and what hangs in the balance in these next few days."

Morbid silence settles between them. Cere closes her eyes and lets her worry for Cal wash over her, pass through her. She takes a moment longer to still her heart. Her hands finally feel steady.

"Cere," Cordova continues suddenly, his voice a touch grimmer than before. "If he comes, I need you to run. We cannot face him, and you know that."

She tears her eyes from him, then looks at the room around her. Suddenly, the evacuation no longer seems so daunting.

"Very well," she says. And she means it.

-o-o-o-o-

The Mantis arrives just as the Empire does. Most of the Archive had already been evacuated before the alarms even sounded.

However, it's still chaotic. There are plenty of Anchorites determined to grab anything left behind, fighting for it if they must, Sister Taske being a major unwavering force in this mentality. Cere and Cordova had already given their best shots at convincing the stragglers to leave, but as the Mantis lowers into the hanger and explosions rumble outside, Cere now knows she's no longer responsible for a single person here. They've chosen their paths, and she must choose hers.

"Cere! Are we ready to go?!" Greeze is shouting the second the ramp lowers, Merrin at his side with a dark look over her face.

"Keep the engine running," Cere replies, "go back to the controls. I cannot leave without the Hidden Path's contact codes."

"I'll go with you," Merrin says, but Cere shakes her head. She can feel him, like an emerging migraine.

"No, Merrin, I need you to stay here and protect the Mantis."

She pauses. Then turns. "BD, go with her."

It's strange seeing BD-1 run down the ramp without his other half. Something clogs in her throat and her eyes travel up towards Cordova's—who's already entering the Mantis. His eyes meet her's, and that's all she needs to hear. She'd better come back. For him. For herself. For the Stinger Mantis. For the Archive.

For Cal.

She nods, then turns to begin walking away. "We won't be long."

-o-o-o-o-

When she sent BD-1 away, she fully intended to adhere to Cordova's gentle command. Come back.

However, he came sooner than what she expected. She knows she cannot run now, he will easily chase them all down.

So she does what she must.

Darth Vader fights like an unstoppable force, and she knows immediately that she's no match for him. He's toying with her. Playing with his food. This, she thinks bitterly, must be fun for him. She must be the first Jedi to put up a decent fight for him in years.

She uses that against him, fighting back with all she's got and doing her best to surprise him when she can. She never lands a hit, but she's not expecting to. She just needs a window, a moment, for him to corner himself for a heartbeat... and then it happens.

She grabs the flaming shelves above him with the Force and slams it down on top of him.

Then, she doesn't waste a moment checking to see if she's done any damage to him. Her heels turn, her torso and head follow, and she runs.

-o-o-o-o-

Cere bursts into the Mantis looking like a Gorgara out of hell. Merrin is on her feet immediately, even as Cere brushes past her and screams at Greeze to get them out of here.

The Mantis is rising before the ramp can even close. She finds herself looking out into the temple, and her eyes fall on an approaching form, black as night, cape and robes singed with fire, still glowing.

Merrin has never faced this man, but she's heard the stories.

He reaches out a single hand, and the Mantis jolts, thrusters running but not going anywhere. BD boops frightfully as the walls begin to creak, the air thickening like she's drowning. Choking.

You're not escaping this time.

She feels the pressure around them, holding the ship in place, and she pushes herself through it, grabbing onto the wall for support as she looks out through the open ramp and finds a suitable chunk of ceiling above their attacker.

Green flames burst from her hands, hitting the ceiling in loud booms. The pressure on the ship suddenly vanishes as Darth Vader is forced to release his grasp and retreat out of the way of the falling ceiling. By the time the dust settles, the Mantis has already risen up past the hanger, into the open, dust painted sky.

The ramp closes, and Merrin lets out a ragged breath.

Silence settles around the inhabitants of the Mantis. The sky outside brightens into a sliver of white until endless black speckled with seemingly more endless stars welcome them.

Greeze is the first to speak. "Somebody has to do something about that guy."

The tension melts.

Cere releases a sigh and sits down, looking equal parts exhausted and high on adrenaline.

"So, captain," she says, voice teetering between composed and breathless. "Where to next?"

Greeze's hands still on the controls. He swallows. "We don't know," he finally says, honestly. "That traitor left Koboh, but according to BD-1's scans, he didn't leave in the direction of Tanalor. BD has been trying to track Cal's location through a locator Cal should have on him. It was paired with a matching tracker that he gave Bode, but BD thinks he can hack the signal given time."

"What about a tracking fob?" Merrin asks, and all eyes turn to her. "Cal has a bounty, we can use a fob to track him, bode could have removed the locator."

"Bounty hunting guilds handing out those fobs will know who we are," Cere interjects. "It will not be easy to get our hands on one."

Greeze snaps a finger. "Caij!"

Cere startles. "What?"

"She's a frequent at the saloon. She used to be a bounty hunter I think, but she's been working with Cal to get the drop on Haxion Brood bounty hunters. He gives her his fobs, and she trains him or something."

"Will fobs track on Tanalor?" Cordova suddenly asks, startling everyone out of the previously three-way conversation. Merrin almost can't help but stare at him as he paces the Mantis. If she's honest, seeing him here on the ship feels off; like a living legend standing in a place too below them to stand. It's stranger than when she had first met him on Jedha, and she cannot figure out why. His eyes are full of curiosity at the surroundings, but his tone is patient and to-the-point with the conversation. His hands brush against various items on various countertops, as if he's trying to sense the memories here's although Cal's the only one who can do that.

BD-1 makes a few strings of beeps and boops, and Cordova nods. "I see. Cal has only said communications wouldn't work, not anything else. Besides, the technology of Dagan Gera's time are quite ancient in comparison to our own, perhaps our newer technology would withstand better."

"I think it's worth a shot," Cere says. "BD-1 will attempt to track him through his locator, and once we arrive at Koboh we will request a fob from this Caij. It's good to have fallbacks."

"To Koboh it is!" Greeze says, hands flying to the controls. "Good thing too, whatever that Darth Vader guy did to grab us it did some damage to the exterior of the Mantis. It'll need patching up before we try to go anywhere else."

Cere smiles. "Sounds like a decent plan to me. Besides, it's about time you tour me the Saloon."

Greeze smiles back at her, but... it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "It is. I just... imagined it happening under different circumstances. I'm sorry about Jedha. And..."

The I wish Cal was here goes unsaid, but everyone hears it anyways.

Cere shakes her head, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I should have visited the moment you established it. The circumstances don't matter, it's important to you, I'm excited to see it regardless."

Greeze chuckles. "It's good to have you back, Cere."

"It's good to be back," she replies, sincerity lacing every word.

While the Mantis enters hyperdrive, the occupants eventually separate to do their own things. Cere sits down with Cordova to tell old stories of the Mantis in it's hay-day while Greeze flies the occasionally-rattling-Mantis through mesmerizing streaks of light. BD-1 sits persistently at the holo-table, his scomp hooked into the system as he searches for Cal. And Merrin... a deep exhaustion pulls at her bones. She excuses herself quietly and finds herself walking into the engine room. Everything is exactly how Cal left it; the cot untouched, various tools scattered on the work-table at the back. She breathes in, and she can smell faint traces of him. It tugs on her heart.

She will get him back. There's no doubt about it.

However, it doesn't stop her from sitting down on his cot, grabbing his makeshift pillow and burying her face into it. She will get him back, but it doesn't stop her from wishing he was here in the first place and didn't need rescuing.

She hopes he's alright. Fed. Wounds tended. He better be in pristine condition by the time she has him back, because if he isn't, she will make sure Bode suffers ten times Cal does. No, one-hundred times.

However, maybe even that would be going easy on Bode.

She will make him regret taking Cal, and then she will make him regret being alive.

[honeybee-heart]

When we were young (prequel)

Crossposted on Ao3 and Wattpad

Summary: “Why?” He looked into her eyes, searching for answers. “Why can it not be?”

“We are two sides of the same coin Severus. We make a whole, but will never be on the same side.”

Two lonely souls finally, cross paths for a singular moment in time. Tomorrow is not promised but at least they have the memories of what could have been.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OFC

Word count: 3957

Tags: POV Severus Snape, Marauders Era, Fluff and Angst, Slight James potter bashing, Young Severus Snape, Original Potter Characters, Severus needs a hug, Hopeful Ending, Harry was raised by other(s), Prequel, Oneshot

Rating: Teen and up Audiences

A/n: Hello, my name is Honeybee. I wrote this as a prequel one-shot, to a greater story arc I am currently working on. I will post those chapters here, along with Ao3 and Wattpad. I do not have a beta, so if there are errors please forgive me. I've also never posted on Tumbler, please have patience while I figure out formatting. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. <3

Severus never believed in soulmates or true love, until he met Lily Evans. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She wasn't cruel like his father or distant and cold like his poor mother. Her auburn hair shined in the sun like an angel that had come down from heaven just to light up his miserable life. She was kind and soft like the flower she was named after. Yes, Severus knew that soulmates were real, and she was none other than his best friend.

That was, until his second year when he laid his eyes on Juliana Potter. Of course, he didn't know she was a Potter. No, if he had known beforehand, he wouldn't have felt this way. The moment his eyes met hers it felt as if he had been struck by lightning. Black eyes met the perfect combination of honey brown with a ring of green that reminded him of springtime buds.

His whole body had a visceral reaction to seeing her. It wasn’t like Lily, he felt butterflies and warmth. No, it was scorching and almost painful with her. For a moment Severus had forgotten all about his wretched life. He forgot about his family and his bullies; all that mattered was her.

Until that damned moment, Professor McGonagall called out her name and everything crashed down around him. At first, he didn’t believe it, perhaps he had misheard or she was not related to him. Life was never fair to Severus and this was another cruel joke to add to his already pathetic existence.

He watched her walk up to the hat looking nervous as any other first year. The similarities started to show as he observed her. She looked exactly like James. Her untamable black hair, the same hazel eyes. She was softer and more delicate than Potter, but the resemblance was uncanny.

Unshockingly, she was sorted into Gryffindor but by then, Severus had stuffed everything he had felt for the girl as deep down as he could. She would be just like her brother. He tried to convince himself that he felt nothing for her. She was just another pain in his life, she wasn’t even that pretty, not compared to Lily.

He knew it was all lies even at such a young age. He also knew this was going to be trouble. Having feelings for a Potter would only end terribly. It did not bode well for the remainder of his schooling.

His predictions had been correct after that fateful day things had only gone downhill. Even at what seemed like rock bottom, he somehow found himself falling deeper and deeper. By the time he reached his final year, he was all alone. Lily had left after he, in a fit of embarrassment and anger, called her a Mudblood. That had been the worst thing he had ever done. He would regret it for the rest of his life. Then, almost having been killed or worse, turned by Remus at the Shrieking Shack thanks to Sirius’ little prank. To this day Severus could still hear the horrid howls and snarls of that animal.

The only thing he had left was The Dark Lord and to become a Death Eater after he graduated. He spent most of his days skulking around the halls, between classes, he waited for nightfall to complete his dark spell designs and potions.

He had heard her before she came into view behind him. She looked every bit of the ethereal goddess from the first moment he saw her. Her eyes met his and he felt his knees go weak. Heat engulfed him like a raging inferno as she came closer. He couldn’t move, only watched in awe at the girl that haunted his dreams for years.

Her hair was in its natural wild state, it hung loosely around her shoulders and down her back. She never wore her school robes or vest, only in the school’s mandated uniform of a simple button-up shirt and wool skirt. The nail in his coffin was those damn sugar quills she was constantly sucking on. She always had one between those perfect soft lips. She grinned, her eyes lit up as she began to circle him. It was unnerving and intriguing to watch her move around him.

He kept his expression neutral and cold as he did with anyone else. He refused to show weakness to her. “Potter, what brings you here? If you are here to taunt me like your brother, I assure you I have no qualms about treating you the same as I do him.” His hand twitched to move under his sleeve where he kept his wand, if she was looking for a fight he was certainly ready.

She only chuckled at his words continuing to circle him like a predator toying with its prey before striking. “Oh, Severus, you truly have such a brilliant mind. Yet, you act like a cornered animal when anyone comes close.” She stopped in front of him, popping the sugar quill from her mouth. Her eyes met his, unwavering from his icy stare that sent most others scurrying away.

“What do you want from me, Potter?” His voice dripped with disdain. The tension rose around the pair; it was almost palpable. He crossed his arms over his chest, sliding his hand into his sleeve the cool ebony wood of his wand brushed against his fingers. He tried not to think too much of her compliment. He felt his heart skip a beat and heat flood his cheeks.

“I want many things from you Severus, but it’s a shame it’ll never be. Besides, I’m sure you’re still brooding over Lily Evans and my brother's rumored engagement.”

His heart sank at the mention of the rumors. Everyone had heard about James’ plan to propose to Lily once they had graduated. He despised the fact that Lily had chosen James over him. “You must find it quite amusing, don’t you? Reveling in my suffering, while you and your brother get everything handed to you on a silver platter.” The familiar feeling of bitterness and resentment he always felt every time he thought of Lily rose in his chest.

She only smiled tapping the sugar quill on her plush lip, before she began to circle him again. “I find it amusing that you tied your whole self-worth to a girl who only saw you as a friend. It’s a shame.”

“Enough.” He sneered, grabbing her arms, pulling her closer, their noses almost touching. “You know nothing of my feelings or my feelings or intentions. But mark my words, Potter, I will not be defined by a failed friendship or your judgments.” His voice turned low as he uttered each word deliberately, he leaned in his aquiline nose brushing against hers. “I am destined for far greater things than you or anyone else could ever imagine.”

Juliana didn’t even blink her hazel eyes, not even reacting to his threatening tone. “I’m very aware you are destined for great things. I only meant that it’s a shame Lily threw you away like trash. I’m not quite sure what she thought would happen when she chose your tormentor over you. In my opinion, you are much better than James.”

His breath caught in his throat at her words. They echoed in his mind, you are much better than James. Her words struck a nerve as he stared into her eyes. His grip on her arms loosened slightly. He searched her eyes for any hint of mockery and deceit. He found none, only understanding and a glimmer of something else hidden deep, that he couldn’t quite place. It felt as if she could see through all the defenses he put up to protect himself. It was terrifying and yet for once he felt like someone truly saw him, past the sneers and cold words.

“Better than James?” His voice cracked his grip on her arm tightening. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Potter.” His eyes bored into hers he could smell her perfume being so close. It smelled comforting and warm, the vanilla and cocoa blending to make an intoxicating scent.

She smiles and nods with a confirming nod, “Yes I think you are much better than James. Perhaps I am biased, but I find you much more fascinating and mysterious than my brother. Such a shame you still are going down a dark path.” She sighs, biting her lip, and takes a step back.

He hadn’t realized how much warmth her body radiated, till it was replaced by the cool castle air. He felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. His thoughts swirled around in his head leaving him utterly confused. Her words echoed in his mind, shaking the foundations he thought were solid. His loyalty to the dark arts wavered ever so slightly.

He took a deep breath, gathered his thoughts, and regained control of his feelings. “The path I choose is not for you to judge.” His voice was steady and terse as he spoke.

He hadn’t missed her biting her lip either. The subtle display of desire lingered at the edge of their interaction. It made his heart pound and awakened feelings he had never felt before he met her.

“What do you want from me?” He asked again, his voice was quiet and full of vulnerability.

“As I said I want many things from you Severus, but it’s not meant to be. I also want you to know while I don’t agree with your…choices I do not judge you for them. I will admit I find the dark arts fascinating but, simply out of curiosity not for harm as you and your ‘friends’ like to explore them.” She air-quoted the word friends with her fingers. Her tongue peeked out between her lips to wet them, her eyes never leaving his.

Severus’ eyes narrowed as he absorbed her words. The complexity of her desires fascinated him and drew him into the mystery of her intentions. The mention of her curiosity about the dark arts intrigued him.

He could feel the growing tension between them as the unspoken desires swirled around them. His hands were still holding her arms. Seeing her red-stained tongue peaking out between her lips sent a shiver down his spine.

“Do you wish to learn from me?” He asked her, his voice tinged with the same vulnerability as before.

He stepped close, closing the gap between them, their bodies almost touching. “What do you seek from this dance we have found ourselves in?”

She smiles glancing at his lips before meeting his gaze. “What a wonderful dance it is, don’t you think? Too bad it must come to an end before it has even started.”

Her answer only frustrated and intrigued Severus. He longed for her to give him clarity. To reveal her desires and intentions openly. Yet, it seemed as if she relished in the ambiguity of their interaction.

A rush of boldness surged through him. His hand slid around her waist to the small of her back. He pulled her into his chest brushing her hair out from her face. Her soft skin under his fingertips felt like heaven.

“Why must it end?” His voice was low and husky when he questioned her. His words were laced with a potent mix of desire and curiosity.

He couldn’t deny how he felt for her anymore. Looking into her honeyed eyes he felt that familiar magnetic pull, this time it was stronger than ever before. He’d never been this close to her before today. A hunger ignited in the depths of his soul fueled by their proximity and desire.

“Tell me, what is it that you seek from this dance?” He leaned in his voice a breathless whisper, his lips brushed against the shell of her ear. He felt her shiver against his hand on her back. His nose brushed against her hair the smell of her shampoo surrounding him. The air crackled around them with the tension between them.

She leaned back to look him in the eyes. Her lips almost touched his. “Only you, but it is not meant to be.” She looks away pulling his arm from around her and stepping back again.

He instinctively reached to grab her arm, “wait.” He had given her a pleading look. It was a desperate attempt to bridge the gap she insisted on creating between them. His voice betrayed his emotions, the desperation in it obvious to both of them. His hand dropped limply by his side as she retreated.

Confusion and frustration churned in a debilitating mix within him. He wanted to pursue this intoxicating dance, yet he didn’t want to push her boundaries.

“Why?” He looked into her eyes searching for answers. “Why can it not be?”

“We are two sides of the same coin, Severus. We make a whole but will never be on the same side.”

Her smile was perplexing, it seemed almost happy but there was a deep sadness in her eyes. He knew deep down that she was correct. It struck a chord within him. They were bound together by a connection that defied conventional logic and understanding. But their paths diverged in ways that seemed insurmountable.

He looked her in the eye, he felt resigned to his fate but a small flicker of determination grew within him. “Perhaps you are right, we are fated to dance on opposite sides.” He mumbled his voice laced with regret. “But even so… I cannot deny the pull I feel towards you. I know you feel it as well. Tell me, what would need to happen to have our paths aligned?”

She gave him the saddest smile he had ever seen. “Nothing short of a miracle could have our paths merge.”

Severus’ heart sank in his chest, her words weighed heavily on him. The truth of her statement sobered him. The realization that their paths were destined to remain apart destroyed him.

He looked at her with a mix of yearning and resignation, knowing deep down that the dance they had shared all these years was nearing its end. The bitter-sweetness of the moment hung heavy in the air as he spoke softly.

“Then let us cherish this dance we’ve shared. For even if we cannot continue, let us make this one moment memorable.” His voice was tinged with sadness, his fingers reached forward to brush against her hand.

He noticed her finger twitch almost reaching back for his hand.

“It will be a dance I will always remember.”

A surge of courage coursed through his veins as he did what he had longed to do for far too long. His hand wrapped around her waist, the other cupping her cheek. “Then let us make this dance memorable.”

He pulled her into a tight embrace, his nose buried in her hair. The hand on her cheek moved down to entwine his fingers with hers.

She melted into his embrace resting her head over his heart. Her eyes closed as she spoke. “Every dance I’ve had with you, even if we were never this close before, was always memorable. Since the very first, when I saw you before I was sorted.”

Severus’ heart skipped a beat at her words. She had remembered him since the very beginning. Their bodies fit together with harmonic ease. It felt natural and comfortable to have her in his arms. He never wanted this moment to end. Their breaths mingled together, a symphony of shared intimacy.

He felt a surge of emotions well up inside him, his head dipping down to whisper in her ear. “Every dance we’ve shared has left an indelible impression on me. But this…this is different. It feels as if time has stood still when you are in my arms.”

His lips pressed against her forehead as they swayed to a silent melody. His eyes closed as well, basking in this moment for as long as he could.

She tilted her head up to look him in his eyes. Her hand came up to trace his sharp cheekbone. Her fingertips glided over his skin.

He savored her touch tilting his head into her hand. The gentle touch sent warmth through his body. No one had ever touched him like this. Not even Lily, no he wouldn’t think about her right now. All that mattered was Juliana. The world faded into insignificance as he focused solely on the woman before him. The weight of their connection weighed heavily on him, but he loved every second of it. It felt as if they were suspended in a timeless space where only their desires and emotions mattered.

“At this moment there is nothing else but you and I.” His voice trembled with the raw emotions inside him. His hand slid to cup her face, his thumb traced her bottom lip. “I will remember this forever.”

Their eyes meet her lips pressing into his thumb. “As will I, no matter how far our paths take us I will always remember this. No matter how we dance for different sides of a war, we will always be bound together in memory.”

A surge of desire passed through his body with her lips against his thumb. Her words echoed in his mind, resonating with the truth he had to accept. It was a bitter pill to swallow.

“You are right our dance may end, but our memories will last forever.” With a gentle but firm pull, he drew his body flush to hers. The world around him ceased to exist as he lowered his head capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

He almost didn’t hear the sound of her dropping the sugar quill as her hands shot into his hair. Her fingers dragged through the inky strands.

This moment transcended anything he had ever felt before. Time and loyalties no longer mattered, as he felt her lips moving against his. His heart pounded wildly in his chest. The heat radiating between their bodies, the connection between them filled him with fire as hot as the sun, scorched in the sky.

He couldn’t help but moan into the kiss as he deepened it. Their tongues moved together in a sensual dance as both his hands cupped her face.

This moment was everything to him. A perfect union of souls, a testament to the power of love. At this moment, there was no difference between good and evil, no distinction between light and dark. Only the two of them lost in a dance of passion and devotion.

His hands moved down to her waist, “don’t leave me.” His voice came out hoarse, thick with emotion. His face buried into her neck, he nestled his nose against her soft skin breathing in her fragrance. “Please, never leave me.”

He felt a soft whimper against his lips on her neck, his fingers tightened on her waist. Yet, she never said a word and he knew why. She couldn’t make such a promise with how things were. The world was on fire and they had picked different sides to burn in.

He looked up from her neck staring into her eyes. His hand moved down to cup her bottom under his skirt. His palms rubbed the smooth skin as he pulled her closer. “Please don’t go, Juliana, don’t go.”

Her breath hitched but she still couldn’t speak. She looked down, biting her quivering lip.

His lips brushed her cheek before moving along the line of her jaw and down her neck. His fingers drew small circles on the edge of her knickers. “I won’t leave you. No matter what happens, no matter who wins, we will be together again.”

He felt her shiver in his arms. He almost smiled till he noticed her eyes filling with tears.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Severus.”

His eyes narrowed at her words, he let his fingers trace the hemline of her knickers. His nails ran along the line between her skin and the edging. “Promises I can’t keep? Must I prove myself to you?”

“Sev, I…I didn’t mean it like that. You don’t know if we will ever see each other again. No matter which side wins, one of us will have to fall.” The tears began to fall down her cheeks and it shook Severus to his core.

His hand came up to wipe her tears, pressing his forehead against hers. The nickname she gave him left a tiny smile on his face. “We will find each other again. Even if it takes years we will find each other again. When we do, I will never let you go again. We will pick up exactly where we left off.”

He leaned forward, his lips brushing against hers. “Please believe me.” His voice sounded pathetic as he begged her, but he needed her to believe him.

“I want to believe you, but I think we should be realistic. This war will change everything.”

He brushed his lips against hers again and lingered for a moment. “I promise you, my dear, no matter what happens we will find each other again. We will be reunited, and nothing will tear us apart.”

He pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. “I swear it, my love.”

She gave him that same sad smile as before hugging him tightly. “I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. Until we can dance again.”

She leaned in to kiss him, it was softer than the ones before. A kiss full of devotion and sealing their promises to each other.

Severus' arms wrapped around her as they embraced his head resting against her shoulder. For a moment, he just enjoyed this feeling. The pain, and sorrow of his life disappeared. Replaced by unbridled joy and love for her, and only her.

“Until then, I’ll wait for you.” He kissed behind her ear as he whispered his promises.

They both heard footsteps behind them and pulled apart looking down the corridor. The space between them felt like oceans worth of distance.

“I should go before someone sees. I don’t want my brother to start terrorizing you again.” She looked back at him, before turning to the hallway.

“Go then, but remember I will find you again.” Severus tried to smile, bringing her hand to his lips.

——————————————————————

“Gryffindor!” The sorting hat echoed out in the Great Hall and pulled Severus out of his reverie.

Harry Potter had been sorted into his house. It didn’t shock him he was sorted into the same house as his parents and his aunt.

He looked so much like the two women in Severus’ life that meant the world. He looked like his father sure, but his features were softer like Julianas’. Even from this distance, he could see those bright green eyes, just like his mother.

The last time he had seen Harry or Juliana was at the Potters’ funeral. He had never seen such sadness, or so many tears from her. He wanted to pull her and baby Harry into his arms. But he couldn’t, it was his fault they both had lost everything. He stayed far away, watching the funeral from a distance.

Afterward, both disappeared from the Wizarding World. No one had seen them, most figured she had fled the country after Dumbledore tried to force Harry to live with the Dursleys.

He wondered where she was now and if he’d see her again. He still kept his promise, he waited for her. Even if he had tried to forget her it was impossible, no one had measured up.

Till then, he would watch over Harry, for both of his girls.

Until they could dance again.

[justanothersimsblog]

Rounding up the OC Parenting Questions with Ibis

• How many children does your OC have?

So far he has the one and he didn't even plan on it so he's hoping this is it.

• Which child tends to receive the most attention? Why?

The one and only. Except he hasn't really given her attention due to barely knowing of her existence.

• What personal trait would your OC prefer their child/ children to develop? (kindness, sense of humor, independence, assertiveness, etc)

He expects her to be smart and hopes for a good sense of humor. He doesn't want a nerd though 🤪

• What is your OC’s greatest area of weakness as a parent? Their greatest strength?

Well so far the big weakness would be him not being there, even if it's not his fault. It also doesn't bode well for him that he always said he never wanted kids. However for strength he, first of, has money so kid is set, and most of all he's now convinced that he wants to do right by her and protect her.

• What negative events from your OC’s childhood are important for your OC to shield their own child/children from? 

Having the pink hair meant that from a young age he was sought after. While he loved the attention he learned that those seeking him wanted to steal his powers for themselves. He definitely doesn't want anyone going after his daughter, kidnap her and take her powers.

We also can't forget what happened with the sphinx and as much as he'd love to never see "that bitch" again, he knows that not only he has to go back, but he's gonna have to take his daughter at some point.

• What is your OC’s parenting style? Strict? Permissive? Absent?

Lol so far it's been absent.

• If your OC is raising children with a partner, how well do they work as a team in their parenting?

I mean she's doing all the work at the moment but he's insisting now to handle the financial side. He's mad she didn't let him sooner.

• Where does your OC want their child/children to grow? (City, suburbs, countryside, van life, etc?) Why?

He likes his hometown and either city or the suburbs where he lived sound fine to him. He just wants it to be a good place.

• How often does your OC’s child/children get to see/meet their extended family? 

Well so far it's been 0 but hopefully soon she'll be meeting everyone on dad's side. As for mom's extended family she has never met them nor is she likely to since she's the reason they disinherited mom.

• What does your OC want their child/children to have that they never had?

Freedom. Now this is bullshit but obviously Ibis feels like there was stuff he couldn't do/places he couldn't go so he'd "bowed" that he'd let his kids do what he couldn't. Let's see how his tune sings when he becomes more hands on lol.

• What does your OC think about feeding their child/children junk food? (Rarely, on occasion, every day etc)

It's ok? It's also useless because vampire and all but otherwise no big opinion.

• What is your OC’s pocket money/ spending allowance philosophy?

Have all the money! We're rich, why worry? Spend away. YOLO

• Would your OC put a TV in their child/children’s room?

Sure? I mean he had one for a while. He uses his phone more though.

• Does you OC believe children should take part in household chores?

Ironically yes. So he grew up being encouraged to "help out" and using specific chores as punishment (which happened to him a lot lmao) but he actually liked it, especially laundry. So he'd use the same "help out" philosophy.

• What is your OC’s brand name buying philosophy for their child/children? 

Have it all? Again, we're rich! He grew up with brands and wanting more brands so like why wouldn't his kid have the same?

• How far apart did your OC space their children? Why?

Just the one. It wasn't planned.

• How does your OC feel about drinking alcohol or smoking in front of their child/children?

He does both and it hasn't occurred to him that maybe he shouldn't do this in front of her. One day someone will point it out but first he's gotta be around.

•  Does your OC believe in eating together as a family every night?

🤣

I don't even know what to address first. The vampire angle. The fact he's not really part of the household. Take your pick.

• Does your OC have any special traditions they would want to pass along to their child/children?

He'll realize it later but he wants to pass down his empire.

As much as he hates the sphinx he *does* want to travel with his kid and do all the traditional family-vampire things he did with his dad. Again, he hasn't thought about this yet, he's still mostly processing her existence.

[lockekeyfanvault]

Why do you think there is a possibility for locke and key to be renewed? It was cancelled and the creators said 3 seasons were enough to tell the story

Good question! So basically yeah they did say that, but they also ended the show with whispers and all that, and people like to say "that is just a fun way to end the show, a lot of shows/movies do similar stuff", but why do that when Bode 2 seconds earlier said "you guys hear that" ? It doesn't really make sense. What I got from that ending is this: Bode says that because he's hearing something but it's not clear or loud whispers as usual, so he then just shrugs it off cause it's impossible and probably just his mind playing tricks on him, right? BUT, we later hear clear and loud whispers reminding us the magic is still in the "meat world" lol.

I do not believe that is for nothing honestly.. for me it's way more obvious that they did that in case they changed their minds or maybe wanted a spinoff or whatever.

Also remember the snowball sisters? They teased that since half season 2 and ended the storyline in like 3 episodes(?) maybe less, like really? You're telling me that was it?

I did not read the comics but asked a few people on socials about it, and keep this in mind.. they changed a lot of stuff from the comics, Especially the ending!! In the comics the keys do not get destroyed, (I don't remember what happens instead) but that isn't even considered. Kinda weird to me they decided to change it and destroy the keys, I don't have an explanation as to why they did that. But the point here is: they changed important stuff from the comics. They were trying to tell the story from the comics, in their own way. So what they said about "3 seasons are enough to tell the story".. let's just say I don't really buy into that, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure there's some things from the comics that were not explored in the show at all. Plus it would not be hard to come up with additional interesting storylines, there's still a lot of unanswered questions about the demon world and probably other things. And also: if they wanted to tell the story of the Lockes in 3 seasons, why change the ending? How a story starts and ends are very important things to consider for any show/movie or even book. For me it was kind of open ended, I could be wrong of course but I hope I'm not so that we can see a season 4!

Another important thing to keep in mind is that it was The creators who cancelled the show. When it comes to Netflix shows it's usually Netflix taking these decisions, it's very rare for producers to just end the project like that. I think this holds some importance, not sure exactly how but I have some ideas: wanted to stop the show before netflix could - why? might have been to have more time to figure things out for the show and think about what storylines they could have explored instead of rushing and ending up with a slop, like season 3 ended up being. Maybe they knew a writer's strike was close and didn't want to take any risks. I don't really know, but what I do know is that the show was awfully underrated and did not get close enough to other famous shows on netflix.

I'll end this answer with something I found on reddit some time ago:

"Not certain if it's accurate - but in one of the flashbacks the first locke to make keys says how if the lock and key are made of the same material then it'll have power. The lock and the key of the black door are all whispering iron, and that's how it's able to work. It would make sense that the locks on the doors (in the house) that the keys can use are also made of whispering iron.

So even though they got rid of the keys, the whispering iron is not gone from the world."

[jedimastre-archive]

Laura's personal review of Jedi Survivor; spoilers ahead !

The game overall has a few bugs but since playing it on release that isn't too surprising. There are some game breaking mechanics though, like your alternative Force powers just stop working sometimes and you need to go back to the title screen in order to fix them. If you are playing on PC, the FSR ( AMD FidelityFX Super Resolution 2 ) makes the game visually fuzzy and there is nothing you can do about it. Hopefully they will implement DLSS. The fuzziness is worse around Cal's character model. This doesn't effect the frame rate at all either so its just visually something you'd have to get used to a bit.

The fighting mechanics start out simple but get a bit more complicated later in the game. You can learn additional moves through the skill tree that can add to the arsenal but I think that is a bit overwhelming. At least for me. Lightsaber combat feels nice, you get quite a bit more selection on stances.

Story wise I think its very well written with a few things here and there that might need some clearing up later. Like how Cal is aware that the Republic was thwarted by a Sith Lord, was this something Cere just knew or found out from someone and then just told Cal or is this just something Cal just knows? I love the utilization of The Path as a story point, building a hope of something more like with the rebuilding of the Jedi Archives. Or at least the attempt at it.

The fight with Vader was both expected and unexpected, I say this because we faced Vader in the last game and I am aware of him being around but didn't really think I'd see him again.

I know a lot of people are going to thump me for this but Cere's fight against Vader was actually really unique and cool. The very fact that she can hold up for as long as she did for that fight is amazing in itself. It is a contrast to her last altercation with him where she got yeeted into an abyss almost immediately. I say I am going to be thumped because Vader is often portrayed to the masses as a very very powerful and unyielding force to deal with. 99% of the people who go up against him are dead on the spot. But I like believing that all though he is this powerful being that has so much power, that resistance isn't entirely impossible. Vader isn't perfect and he is far from the warrior he used to be. Giving Cere this piece was really a nice touch to her story and made her death all the more impactful.

Cal's fight with the dark side is a common one but done in a way he had to deal with due to circumstances. The fact that Jedi are defined really by being touched by darkness and depending on how they react to it is what makes them who they are. The fact that Cal is doing this without a Master's guidance, without other Jedi peers is both devastating and painful to watch. But you see that his training and experiences have shaped him into a very good person and a very good Jedi. He learns to lean on his friends and those who care about him and that is so important.

Facing darkness you learn that it is something he still contends with even at the end of the game. It is a nice touch and something that adds incredible substance to his character.

Dealing with Bode's betrayal was hard for me as it was for the characters involved. You grew to love him, to look forward to his interactions only to be stabbed in the back and feeling almost empty. I liked that they interacted with his daughter like an adult -- they told her they wanted to ask her father to give back something he stole. And his daughter seeing how her father has become was the right way to handle the situation rather than Cal going in and murdering her father out of hatred.

This game all in all has a 8.5/10 from me, if they would fix the bugs and the visual effects it would be higher. The world is incredibly huge and there is still so much to do after the fact. I look forward to playing more later.

[621001000]

Apeirophobia 0.25

[Voyage intermittent. Only a few logs are available for your access level. Choose which logs to translate. ]

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Translating FFFFFF/090-3…

Children laugh at the railing of the ship. The fog is closing in and the end is nigh. These children are to be thrown off the planks soon. Precisely because they are not children, but immortals in a child's body.

: Can you tell me about a certain something?

: It is not our job to answer the questions of the curious. You'll have more luck with whoever called us here.

: Just, you're just children. You have a bright future ahead of you. You shouldn't…

: The believer doesn't believe.

: The believer doesn't believe, doesn't he?

The children grab ahold of the man's sleeves and gently lead him to the deck. The fog continues to grow. The time of sacrifice is near.

The children try to push the man overboard but the man resists them. He looks at them, having the suspicion that these children must not be what they seem to be but he let it go, giving them the benefit of the doubt.

So the children try again. They push the man harder, and this time the man fights back. In doing so, he accidentally throws one of the children to the sea.

: Why did you do that?!

That ought to teach them a lesson. He then picks up the other child and throws them off. The children can swim, fortunately, and successfully clings on a side of the ship. The man spits on them and walks back down.

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Translating FFFFFF/090-5…

In that part of the ship I saw someone staring at nowhere. The sky was none of my concern—fog problem. I wasn't sure if this person was a he or a she and I didn't really want to approach a stranger so I just stared at them. This person has the beautiful long hair tied on top and by the sides like that gorgeous character from a Chinese anime.

Later they came to the eating area, and came to me saying they just found out I was the pilot of the ship. They're a he. He, yes… He has a very beautiful face. He's enchanting.

He asks me about the destination of the ship. For one, that is kind of suspicious, and suspicious shit like that doesn't bode well with me. But he's beautiful. The ship is going to cross the threshold. It's not going "anywhere", per se, since we don't have a set destination. He's confused. Of course, he is, that beautiful bastard. He probably doesn't know anything about the children. The not-children children.

Later that evening he visited the helm without permission. But then I started hearing his voice in my head. He started speaking without opening his mouth. I think he can also see without his eyes. I should've considered the possibility that he could be a fanatic. This guy started ordering me through my brain that I should go to the deck and look beyond the fog. I'd obey him anytime, with those looks. So I did, taking my binoculars with me, pretending to be brainwashed, as he followed me to the fog. When I got up there, I saw that I wasn't the only one there. Everyone else from the ship's crew was there too, and alongside each and every one of them was this beautiful man's duplicate. This guy must be a fanatic. Holy shit they're really hardcore when it comes to this stuff.

So apparently this beautiful man was the priest presiding over the whole sacrifice thing. Cool.

I was kind of hoping that a big tentacle eldritch horror would come out of the water. I didn't expect that the priest guy's face just explode into flaming bones and start skinning those children not-children one by one. The children lay silent. They don't say anything. It's creepy…in a good way. When all of them are the same red bleeding sacrificial goats, the others ready for the plank. We lead those bleeding beings towards the plank to jump without touching them. There are two planks, one for each of them. Just when they're about to jump, a mask appears at the sea, and when the mask opened its mouth, it sucked the sea. The children jumped to it, their blood changing its hue. The priest, alongside the followers of the cult, looks at them, and then says the incantations, which, based on my experience, means "Oh the dreary darkness nightmare solidarity hivemind, we offer to you this tribute for you to keep not hurting us and granting our wishes."

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Translating FFFFFF/090-6…

: I didn't expect that there would be this kind of place on the ship.

: Haven't seen one before?

: Not on a ship.

: What do you think of today's presentation?

: I hope the mask is satisfied with our tributes. Immortals are rare, and those that do not desire to die already are even rarer.

: The hunters did a good job capturing them before the law.

: The law will hear about this soon enough if we're not careful.

: I know they would. Would you like a drink?

: Do you have some green tea?

: Yes. Wait here.

. . .

: Here. Green tea.

: Thanks.

: What do you think about that priest? It was uncanny of people like him to just brainwash the crew into going into the deck. We could've just made an announcement.

: They do what they want to do. Let them. They follow the will of the cards.

: You should clean your ship after this voyage.

: Oh, you didn't know? This is the Apeirophobia's first voyage.

: Oh dear. Wasn't this ship the Hermetisia?

: The Hermetisia is disfigured. Soon it will be fed to the mask as well.

: I feel quite bad about the Hermetisia. I would like to ride it once again, one more time before it goes away.

: We can go there before it's scrapped. I'll take you.

: Your pilots won't be happy with this.

: I doubt they'll hate it. We need a set destination. We could always land in the Hermetisia; carouse the museum before it closes.

. . .

: How about payments? The cult must pay you for this.

: Oh no worries. They paid us upfront.

: Strange. You chose this job for a ship's first voyage?

: Nothing strange about it. Technically, there's nothing magical about it.

: It doesn't feel You. Did someone else choose this for you?

: No. It's all me. What do you mean it doesn't feel "me"?

: It stinks too much of "I won't get paid much". What happened to the guy who I thought loved money more than anything in the world?

: Indeed, well, I wonder what happened to him?

: …did you get recruited?

: Go to Hermetesia. You'll figure it out.

: Holy shit, not you too…

: By the way, that green tea is worth 10 copper coins.

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Translations complete. Sending info to the Pavilion.