#i just just kind of love everything about this image

[damnfeelings09]

The way I loved you - Shadow's version

*A.N: sorry, I got lost reading some ff

"He is sensible and so incredible And all my single friends are jealous."

"Look at these beautiful flowers!" said Amy. "You have to tell me your secret, Sonic isn't the most romantic guy, ya' know" You were sitting in the living room of your apartment; it was small but cozy. There were plants in every corner, and despite the little time you had to settle in, you felt comfortable in this new house.

"And it's like, I couldn't ask for anything better," you said with a shy smile.

"That's fabulous! I'm so happy you gave yourself this chance... you know, since..."

"I know, I feel good, but I want to take it slow."

"And I feel perfectly fine."

When Amy left, you let yourself fall back onto your bed, in fact you didn't really feel fine. You missed him, you missed every moment. You couldn't blame Amy, you were too good at hiding your feelings. Only someone who knew you perfectly would notice you weren’t... happy. Actually, you didn't feel anything at all.

"... And it's 2 a.m., and I'm cursing your name. So in love that you act insane, and that's the way I loved you."

Every night, just before closing your eyes to sleep, you could feel his breath, his presence hadn't left you for a second in the last three months. Even though you didn't see him anymore, it was as if his memory was buried in your mind, like his image was tattooed on your heart, a mark you couldn't erase, one you didn’t want to erase. It hadn't been long since you met Dylan. He was actually nice, you'd bumped into him at the cafeteria, and he accidentally spilled your latte. After a thousand apologies, he offered to buy you a new one. You’d been hanging out three times, counting today, but when you told your friends about it, they were more than happy to see you back in the game.

"He respects my space, and never makes me wait, and he calls exactly when he says he will."

You checked your latest messages. Dylan had written "Goodnight and have fun, beautiful," after you mentioned you wouldn’t see him and would instead spend time with the girls.

"He's charming and endearing, and I'm comfortable."

"I'm comfortable," you said aloud, but when you were alone, hundreds of memories haunted you. Memories of when you had been so happy, loved like you never thought possible, cried, and suffered, but you did it all by his side. There he was again, always occupying your thoughts. At 2 p.m., when you had lunch, and again at 2 a.m., when you woke up startled by nightmares where you lost him over and over. You turned your phone back on, scrolling down to the bottom of your messages, and found his conversation. You read again the last message he had sent you: "I'll be late," with the date on the day you decided to move on with your life without him.

"He caused all of this. So… why do I feel like this?" you thought. You couldn't stop looking at the screen, hoping, wishing there was something more, that he had done something more. Suddenly, his status changed, he was online, and dots began to appear on the screen. He was typing. After three months of silence, he had finally reached out to you… your heart raced so fast you felt like it would burst out of your chest. The excitement, anxiety, fear, and anger were trying to take control of your body all at once. But when the dots disappeared, and his status went offline again, everything collapsed.

"Breaking down and coming undone, it's a rollercoaster kind of rush. And I never knew I could feel that much, and that's the way I loved you."

The next morning, you bumped into Dylan on your way to work. You talked about the weather, your outing with the girls, and his job. Dylan loved his job as an IT agent for GUN and loved to talk endlessly, something you weren’t used to. You limited yourself to nodding and smiling while he told you about the latest update he'd made to the criminal profiles platform at GUN.

"He can´t see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking 'cause I'm not feeling anything at all."

As you walked through the GUN facilities and passed by the training center, memories flooded your mind. This time, you both had fought, but you didn't quite remember why...

You walked out of the training center, both fists clenched until your claws dug into your palms. You were upset, he hadn't respected the agreement to let you work, and his only defense had been, "You're not strong enough for this task, sorry." Once again, underestimating your abilities, even though, thanks to your effort, the last two missions you'd worked on together had gone wonderfully, and your colleagues praised your persistence. Of course, he was the team captain, and you didn’t expect different treatment just because you were his girlfriend; you simply expected him to start noticing your potential.

"And you were wild and crazy. Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated. Got away by some mistake and now..."

"Stupid hedgehog," you muttered under your breath as the raindrops began to soak your body. The wind soon picked up, and what started as a small breeze had turned into a storm. You had to turn back, or you'd end up sick, and they'd send you home. Just as you were about to go back, you heard someone calling your name. It was him, standing a few meters away, his dark fur soaked, and every quill dripping. His chest fur, once fluffy, now seemed flat due to the water.

"If you're here to scold me again, keep it to yourself. I was about to go back." In a second, the hedgehog was right in front of you.

"I'm sorry," you heard him murmur. "Don’t disappear like that again." Something in his voice made your wall of anger break. There, in the rain, with his face drenched and his red eyes, now dimmed, just inches from yours, made him look so... vulnerable. "No… I didn’t mean that you can’t do it, it’s just that… thinking of you, alone, out there… no, no..." he stammered, looking away. You had never seen him like this. You were so used to his strong, disciplined personality. Worry was not a word you associated with him, but now you realized he was worried about you.

"Hey," you said, gently caressing his face. "It's okay, I’m here, and I’ll be fine because I’ll have the best captain to guide me" you smiled at him.

"The best captain?" he asked, his crimson eyes regaining their sparkle as he raised an eyebrow.

"Of course! Sonic doesn’t do things as badly as you think, and... we have you too," you joked, earning a snort from him. You smiled as he closed the distance between you, pulling you into an embrace. The surprise was evident in your eyes. You knew he hated public displays of affection, especially at work. He didn't want people thinking there was favoritism towards you. He tightened his embrace as he felt your body shivering because of the cold, moving his face close to yours placing a soft kiss that contained everything he couldn't express.

"I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and It's 2 a.m., and I'm cursing your name. I'm so in love that I acted insane, and that's the way I loved you."

"Hey! Moon!" someone called, snapping you out of your thoughts. As you returned to the present, you found yourself staring at the training center. Dylan had his hand in front of your face, trying to get your attention. "Where did you go?"

"Ah... it's nothing," you said, scratching the back of your head, your cheeks still flushed from the memory. "See you later, Dylan." You walked towards the main offices, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone else and trying to avoid running into him. When you reached the elevator, you heard a ring—a new notification. You quickly pulled out your phone and found a message. It was a simple interaction, just 3 words put together, but it was enoght to make your heart begin to beat again, as if waking up from a deep sleep.

Shadow: Hey

"Never knew I could feel that much and that's the way I loved you."

[mrsmangi]

Hibiscus 🌺🌺🌺

late night call - luigi mangione

♡ flower prompt: hibiscus - the realization of a friendship becoming something more - meaning: in victorian times, the gift of a hibiscus bloom meant that the giver was acknowledging the receiver’s delicate beauty. ♡ w.c.: 1k ♡ a/n: hi, love! thank you so much for your request. srry for the delay, i'm a bit backed up with requests. she's a short one, but i hope you enjoy!

♡ send me a flower & i'll write a drabble based off the prompt ! ↪ prompts that have been requested

“Do you ever think people realize just how loud their ceiling fans are?” 

His voice comes through the phone, low and scratchy, like he’s been lying on his back for too long, staring at his own ceiling. You giggle softly, shifting against the pillow propped against your back. Your own fan spins above you, a rhythmic hum filling the space between his words and yours. 

“It’s white noise,” you say, quieter than usual. “After a while, you get used to it and stop hearing it.” 

“Mm, not tonight,” Luigi sighs. “It’s like the fan’s trying to keep me awake for as long as possible.”

You laugh again, a soft, breathy sound that feels just a bit too loud in the stillness of your room. It’s past midnight–long past the time you’d planned to be asleep–but this is how many of your nights with Luigi go. What starts with casual texts morphs into a phone call, then into hours of talking about nonsense; everything and nothing.

“Maybe it’s just your thoughts,” you tease. “What are the voices yelling at you about tonight?” 

He pauses on the other end of the line, just the faint sound of his breathing audible. You know Luigi well enough by now to know he’s not actively ignoring your question; he’s only deciding how much of himself to give away. 

“Life,” he answers lamely, though the vagueness of the reply altogether makes it clear there’s more to it than that. “Do you ever feel like no matter how much you do to succeed, it’s never enough?” 

You roll onto your side, pressing the phone closer to your ear. The dim glow of your bedside lamp casts uneven shadows against the wall. 

“All the time,” you reply honestly. “It gets exhausting, though. I feel like I’m just running a race no one even cares to watch.” 

He exhales, a sound that crackles through the receiver. When he speaks again, his voice carries the kind of understanding that comes from being seen. “Yeah. I get it.” 

The two of you fall into shared silence, the steady hum of your ceiling fan whispering across the line. You let yourself picture him for a moment–probably sprawled out on his bed, one arm thrown over his eyes. His phone would be balanced in his other hand. The image feels familiar, like something you’ve seen a thousand times before, even though you haven’t. 

“Can I ask you something?” His voice breaks the quiet.

“Always.” 

He’s quiet again, but you don’t rush him.

“Do you think…” He pauses again, and you can hear the shift of his breathing. “Do you ever think it’s possible for something to change without either person realizing it? Like, to wake up one day and feel like everything’s changed, even though nothing is actually different?” 

“Maybe,” you say cautiously, voice softer now. “Sometimes things can change so slowly you don’t even notice until it’s already different. Then, you find yourself wondering how long it’s been that way.” 

“Yeah,” he agrees. “That’s exactly what I mean.” 

You stare up at the spinning fan, asking him, “What’s different, Luigi?” 

He doesn’t answer right away. His continuous pauses make you grow somewhat uneasy, stretching a distance between you. “Us,” he says. “I think we’re different.” 

You exhale slowly. “Different how?” 

“I don’t know,” he admits. “But it’s like every time we talk, it feels different. More important, somehow, like there’s something there that wasn’t before.” He stops and you can nearly hear the way he’s turning the words over rin his head. “I used to just…enjoy talking to you, but now, it feels like I catch myself waiting for it. I’m counting down to the next time I’ll hear your voice. And when we’re not talking, I’m thinking about what I want to tell you the next time I see you, or wondering what you’re doing, or–” He breaks out into nervous laughter, cutting himself off. “Um, does any of that make sense or am I just rambling?” 

It makes perfect sense. Too much sense. Your heart picks up speed, the weight of his words pressing against the thoughts you’ve tried to push to the back of your mind. You notice it too. You’ve felt a change in the way you catch yourself thinking about him at odd moments–when a song reminds you of something he’s said, or when you replay the voice messages he sends just to hear his laugh on repeat. Tonight, he speaks heavier, like he’s cracked open a door you have both been staring at for weeks, maybe longer, unsure of who will turn the handle first. 

“It does,” you whisper. 

There’s a small, nearly imperceptible breath on his end, like he’s been holding it and didn’t even realize. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” You chew on your bottom lip, letting the word sink in. “I didn’t know if I should say anything. I didn’t want to ruin what we have.” 

“Me neither,” he says, “but I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel it. I do. All the time.” 

You close your eyes, the glow of the lamp behind your lids is a soft orange hue. “So, what now?” 

“I’m not sure,” he says. There’s no pretense, no cleverness to soften the edges of his words. “But maybe we can figure it out. Together.” He says his last word carefully, almost like it’s fragile–like it may break under the weight of its meaning if he doesn’t say it the right way. 

You hear him shift, the faint sound of fabric rustling through the receiver. It’s a small thing, but it makes the moment feel so real, tangible, like he’s not just a voice in the dark. You let his words settle over you. Luigi doesn’t have the answers to all your worries and neither do you. But, it feels comforting somehow–to know that he’s with you in this journey, and you with him. 

“Okay,” you say. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. You know he can hear it, even if he can’t see it. Your heart is full of love for this boy as you exhale: “Together.”

[tinrange]

There are so many great points here but I wanna highlight the section about how youth in countries and areas without adequate sex education are recieving information and knowledge through these shows.

The top-bottom stereotyping, complete with massive body differences and certain 'looks', for both GL and BL pairs is a warping of actual roles that then forces queer youth into conservative positions while those that see queer bodies as objects of commodity get to fictionalize aspects of the community.

In LGBT relationships and dating its normal to discuss sexual preferences, its common to be vers sure but its just as common to be secure in your position.

When shows are marketed such that there can only ever be one dynamic ive seen queer youth assert that there are no 'bottoms' no 'tops' its just two people loving each other, and despite it coming from a place of defense it ends up driving them away from actually seeing all queerness can encompass.

In the case of sapphics there are actual identities tied around service and reception, both in and out of bed, that are then dismissed by large swathes of the media consuming pop. Because of the fact Stereotypes imposed onto people through corporations and heteronormativity. Those beliefs are strengthened in the echochambers that make up hime spheres and eventually change peoples approaches to their own identities.

All that to say that this ties back to the point of capitalism being a driving force behind each production and show we see being put to the screen. Its been extremely telling for me recently how deeply people enjoy censored shows, for example Highschool Return of Gangster, and also how people discuss actors who work on them vs on BL.

Highschool Return of Gangster is blatantly censored, its not gay and the subtext is doing a lot of the work for audience members who Want to see something while also leaving it vague enough that those 'uncomfortable' could just ignore it. Whats really interesting is how this shows censorship was defended amongst its creators, it HAD to be censored for them because BL is too niche and unfprofitable. Its a genre market that automatically creates a barrier for success. In this way Korea and Thailand are very different, but the audience reactions to people who work in other industries is the same.

"BL actors are there to create ships and sell you a lie and a delusion and breed fangirls who dont care about irl queerness." These kind of broad strokes flatten any nuance in discussions of what being seen supporting queer art actually Does to a public image, and the conflation of areas and peoples together allows for a complete dismissal of the genre. People who hate GL and BL will tell you everybody is in it for the money and the fans and nobody ever cares about anything past that, and that kind of thinking works so well for the companies.

If the audience is already willing to seperate queerness from Actually LGBT art and productions, only minimal steps need to be taken to make things 'palatable' and easy to consume by robbing the stories of possible authenticity.

These shows and genres are already viewed as lesser by a GP, perverse or flat tv that exists only to cater to a niche who doesnt actually belong to the community and it allows for everyone, even LGBT audiences, to praise those that 'elevate' the genre.

This all ties in with the general conservative backswings plaguing social media and discussions from the youth. Capitalism allows for these companies to continue creating narratives that discredit any enjoyment of swathes of queer media due to BLs "low-brow" nature, while simultaneously suppressing any shows that depict queer messiness. Its almost disappointing to see people continuously use the defense of "not everything has to be So Explicitly Gay" when that serves no one but capitalists who want to dip in everyones pockets. Impressionable audiences are manipulated and end up treating stories about their own communities as having to Prove Their Worth in the canon, and when a show like SMYM comes along it becomes very easy to dismiss criticisms because audiences have been groomed into believing LGBT art is more elevated the less it cares about the interiority and actual queerness of the characters.

Spare Me Your Mercy, Love in the Big City, and the Trap of Pursuing Mainstream Popularity for Queer Art

I read this excellent post by @waitmyturtles yesterday tackling the frustrating failures of Spare Me Your Mercy, a show that was one of my most anticipated of the year, but that ended up so lost in its own confusing blend of sauces that I didn't even finish it. I appreciated her clarity that despite the show receiving strong ratings and finding popularity with the mainstream domestic audience, that doesn't actually make it a success as a piece of narrative storytelling. And if anything, its popularity underlines why it was a failure as a queer narrative, in particular.

Because here's the thing about great queer art—it's almost never popular with mainstream audiences, especially in socially conservative countries. High quality, well-executed, honest and authentic queer art is more likely to be protested than celebrated in places where real queer people are not safe to live free lives. For an illustration of this, look no further than another highly anticipated queer drama of this year in Love in the Big City. Easily the queerest show to ever get made and aired on Korean television, it drew major protests before it even started, forcing the production to release it quickly in one go to ensure it would reach audiences. And why were those conservative groups so afraid of this little old drama? Because even just in its trailer and promotional materials, it was clear this was no sanitized, G-rated drama created to make gay people seem more palatable to the masses (unlike the film version with the same name, which not coincidentally has been much more warmly received by the Korean media establishment). This show was real, and raw, and QUEER in a way that terrified those bigots, because they know one of the most important ways the oppressed can advocate for themselves is by demonstrating their humanity through art. 

Which brings me back to turtles’ post, and the importance of separating the concerns of art and commerce when discussing the different ways media can succeed. This is something I had some good dialogue about with @biochemjess @pharawee @clairedaring @flowerbeasblog and turtles (and even more of you in the tags) when I was still watching and posting about Spare Me Your Mercy. I originally posted to unpack why the show was flopping narratively, which turned into a discussion of the fact that it was getting good ratings from the domestic audience despite this. And while I appreciated understanding how the show is landing with its priority audience, for me, it’s very important to keep a distinction between these two different kinds of success. Especially in discussions of queer art, and especially for a show whose creators explicitly said they were intentionally downplaying the queer romance part of the queer romance ( @benkaben) to avoid “distracting” from their other messaging goals. 

The important thing to keep in mind is that for queer stories, when they are popular with a mainstream audience it’s often because they are stripping any authenticity from the representation of queer people. Turtles addressed this well in her review of 2gether when she posited that part of the reason it was such a phenomenon in conservative Asian countries (aside from the timing of its release in the early days of the global pandemic), was because its presentation of queerness was mostly unrecognizable to real queer people, stripped of any true notion of queer sexuality or the realities of homophobia. Compare the reception of The Miracle of Teddy Bear—a show that absolutely refused to make its central queer character palatable for a mainstream audience, because the fact that he wasn’t palatable was the point—to that of Spare Me Your Mercy, a show whose creators chose to censor their own story. The ugly truth is that when we’re talking about queer dramas, the best and most vital shows are pretty much anathema to mainstream ratings success.

The impulse to pursue mainstream popularity and commercial success for queer art inevitably leads to watering down queer stories ( @twig-tea) to make them more light, comfortable and familiar to a majority heterosexual and socially conservative audience. And yes, of course, some degree of commercial success is necessary for queer art to get made in the first place. This is how the Thai BL market took off, by recognizing that there was an audience beyond queer people who were open to watching stories about boys falling in love, as long as it didn’t get too real. But there is a careful line to walk here, and it’s so important not to confuse popularity with artistic merit. Queer people won’t win liberation by self-censoring queer media to make it more palatable for mainstream audiences. We win when we make queer art so good and so honest that the mainstream is forced to acknowledge it. We win by challenging the mainstream perspective on queer people and how they should behave, not by catering to it. As @bengiyo said in a completely different discourse, the question is not whether the audience can love queer characters whose actual queerness is suppressed for their comfort. That kind of respectability politics is old hat and it never fucking gets us anywhere. The real question he posed is this: “Do you love us when we’re ugly, when we’re sick, when we’re old, when we’re being mean or catty?”

Which is why a show like Love in the Big City ultimately won by being so excellent, and so true, and so undeniable, that it broke through with audiences around the world and achieved some measure of recognition in spite of how very unpalatable it was to its domestic audience. Unlike Spare Me Your Mercy, this show did not get amazing domestic ratings, but its message was heard far beyond those who watched it on Korean television. And that is the point. Making authentic art that advances the struggle of queer people and making nominally queer art that can achieve mainstream popularity are completely different pursuits, and we must keep that in mind when we discuss whether and how these shows succeeded or failed. And while both must exist in a healthy media ecosystem, one will always be more vital for the survival of queer people than the other. 

[theplumsoldier]

confession o'clock

summary: you ask eddie why the two of you have never tried dating

pairing: eddie diaz x f!reader

word count: 3,2k

warnings: alcohol, vulgar language, friends to lovers dynamic 18+ MDNI; unprotected sex, oral post sex (m!receiving), cum-eating, dirty talk, riding cowboi cock, creampie.

It was half past eight when you showed up at Eddie's doorstep in a flattering maroon silk dress with an equally tempting bottle of wine in your hand. His heart lurched, and he had to awkwardly scratch his stubble to hide his jaw dropping. You offered a kittenish smirk and held up the bottle, tilting your head in question.

He couldn't help but chuckle, opening the door wider, an invitation for you to unwind in the comforts of his home. “I take it the date didn't go well?”

“I don't know what you're talking about—I got a free bottle of wine,” you shrugged, wiggling your brows playfully as you stepped inside.

Eddie snickered and accepted it, closing the door behind you, and went into the kitchen as you slipped out of your heels with a grunt.

He poured two glasses and noticed the rim of lip gloss around the mouth of the flask, and an image of your lips around it drew itself in his mind. Eddie inhaled sharply, cursing himself for still thinking about you like this—at some point, he would have to get over you, right?

“So you uh—you wanna do disaster control or where’re we at?” he asked, bringing the glasses to where you sat on the couch.

You scooped your legs up under you and thanked him, running your hand through your hair and leaning your cheek against your palm. “God, no,” you snorted and took a sip of the wine, then leaned back contentedly. “I just wanna stay right here with my best friend, drink three hundred dollar wine, and watch whatever this is.”

Eddie chuckled and got settled on the other side of the couch, hanging his heavy arm over the backrest. You wanted to find comfort in it, have it around your shoulders, but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable—you just couldn't help the urge. Eddie always made you feel safe.

Although they were rare, you treasured these nights with Eddie. When you had told him about your upcoming date, he had been quick to inform you that Christopher was at a sleepover and that he was off duty so in case something went awry (as he had come to know was often the case when you cherry picked strangers from a dating app) you were welcome to come over. You had called him old-fashioned for steering clear of online dating, but it was hard to feel like he was missing out when all you seemed to get out of it was obnoxious guys wasting your time.

He was in a phase in his life where he had subconsciously decided dating wasn't for him. With all his time spent at the firehouse and with friends and family, there was little left to really do anything. He was convinced he had all he needed in his life to be happy. Not everything was in the way he would have liked, perhaps, but then again—not every wish could come true.

In the past year or so, Eddie had found himself thinking more and more about your relationship. You had somehow drilled your way so deep into his mind that he had become accustomed to you being a part of his everyday life—even if only in thought. He blamed Buck for the time he commented on how good you looked on New Year's Eve. Eddie watched you for too long and too longingly for his own answer to be nothing but a platonic agreement. Ever since then, not one day had gone by where you were not beautiful in his eyes.

So, a moment such as this one where you were spending your time with him, he really did feel like he had it all. This kind of love, if not romantic, was fulfilling enough for him to be content.

You spoke of everything and nothing, eyes on the screen but not really watching, just being in one another's company, and at some point the bottle was empty and your head was resting against Eddie's shoulder.

“Hey, Eddie?” you muttered, sleepy eyes glued to television. Eddie hummed in response, chest heaving slowly with deep breaths, fingers gently scratching at your scalp. You tilted your head to look up at him, a tired smile on your lips. “Thanks for making today a little less depressing.”

Something flashed across his face—worry, admiration—you couldn't tell before a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Always,” he chuckled and ruffled the crown of your head, turning his drowsy eyes back to the TV.

You giggled and pushed his hand away, though you didn't loosen your grip and draped it over your frame instead, intertwining your fingers, silently admiring him, waiting for a reaction to the close proximity. He didn't seem to notice the change, chest still heaving with deep, content breaths, the remains of his grin still wearing on his features.

Hen’s words from the other night echoed from somewhere in your subconscious. 

“So you and Eddie have never gotten… You know—”

She had wriggled her eyebrows at you. 

“Down and dirty.”

“Hey, Eddie?” you said again, still watching him. He chuckled again before he returned his soft gaze to you. His eyes sparkled, and he replied with another hum. “Why were we never a thing?”

This took him by surprise. You saw it in those deep brown orbs of his before he could shield it. He didn't make any movements that suggested discomfort, though. He spoke calmly, “where's this coming from?”

You shrugged against him, returning your eyes to the screen to avoid his intense gaze. “I don't know, or—I mean… I guess, I just had this conversation with Hen, and it got me thinking—how come we never gave it a shot? I mean, we've known each other for what? Five years? And we've always had fun. We clicked right from the start, and we spend a lot of time together. Like, I know—for me it feels like one of us has always been seeing someone, but at the times where we didn't… Has it never crossed your mind? Us, I mean,” you rambled though you didn't feel as awkward as you figured you must sound. Perhaps it was the mix of wine and exhaustion, but you couldn't find it in you to be particularly embarrassed with Eddie—he made you feel too safe for such a thing. 

Eddie's shoulder heaved with your head, his chest filling with admission he had long considered equal to doomsday of your friendship. “Of course I have.”

When he didn't say anything else, you decided to press the matter. You grinned as you looked up at him. “Well, come on, Eds—humour me. Why have we never tried?”

He studied your expression for a moment before something between a snort and a scoff escaped him. “I guess it's ‘cause we're friends—and I don't want to do anything to compromise our friendship.”

You huffed, a little taken aback and shifted beside him, propping your elbow on his shoulder and resting your head in your palm. “I don't think you could ever do anything to ruin our relationship. I love having you in my life too much to let that happen.”

Eddie couldn't help the smile spreading to his eyes. “Well, then, if you've given this some thought, why are you only telling me this now? I know you're not the type of woman to wait around for the first kiss.”

You knew he was teasing you now, but there was truth to it, and the idea of you and Eddie sharing a kiss basically glued your hungry eyes to his lips. You wanted to taste them, you had for a long time. “I guess I didn't want to step on your toes either. But we're both single, and I think we know each other well enough to decide whether we stand a chance before doing something stupid. Besides, we've been drinking a bit, and it's just the two of us, so I guess it's confession o'clock.”

He nodded, chuckling. Eddie saw how you were looking at him, like you were just one wild thought away from taking what you wanted—and God, you really wanted him, didn't you? Eddie's tongue darted out to wet his lips, his hips shifting slightly. “‘N you don't think this would be a mistake?”

While he didn't particularly think this was merely tipsy ramblings, he feared being the one to drag you down a rabbit hole.

Lucky him, you knew Eddie well enough to know how hard he could be on himself, how he was probably doubting himself right now.

You moved a bit and rested your hand against his cheek, palm warm from the skin of your own, eyes flickering between his pouty lips and his brown poppy eyes. Your thumb grazed his lower lip as you leaned closer. “I think if this is a mistake, it's one I wanna make.”

Eddie's jaw clenched in your hand, nostrils flaring with a sharp inhale, and he swallowed. Smirking down on you, brow cocked and lust in his eyes. He looked so handsome like this. “What's stopping you then? You want a date first?”

A sly smirk formed as you tilted your head, challenging him. “I'd rather take that kiss first.”

Mere inches from each other, breaths mixing, lips ghosting, Eddie's hand snaked around your lower half, squeezing your hip encouragingly. “Then take it.”

Heat rushed through your body as you did exactly that. Connecting your lips in the gentlest of ways, you melted against him, completely unaware of the tension your body had amassed. The weight lifted from your shoulders and everything in the room bar the two of you ceased to exist, and a moan vibrated from your lips.

Eddie felt the hairs on the nape of his neck rise as he held you closer, pulling you onto his lap and eagerly kissing you, feeling your weight ground him to the moment. There was a constriction in his chest that loosened when your parted lips gave way to his tongue.

Your tongues danced in a battle of power, suddenly wide awake at the taste of the other. You held onto his shoulders, shifting in his lap to properly straddle him, and you gasped at the contact, having forgotten you were only layered in a thin dress and panties.

A low moan rumbled in his chest, panting as he broke the kiss, looking down between your bodies. Eddie's hand slid down your ass, palming at the supple flesh while the other cradled the back of your neck, pulling you down so that your forehead rested against his. “Fucking hell, cariño.”

A breathy giggle escaped you at his reaction. You leaned forward, pressing your bleeding heart against his, bucking slightly forward, feeling the rough imprint of his hard cock.

Hissing, Eddie's face scrunched up as if in pain, brows furrowing while he held a moan back at the friction. Large hands settled on your hips, pressing you down harder. “You're gonna be the death of me.”

“I hope not,” you grinned, guiding his hands to your thighs, prompting him to explore your body further and he did so with great enthusiasm. He caught your lips again, greedily licking into your mouth as he massaged the flesh in his calloused hands. Moaning into his mouth you ground down on him, harder this time, loving the way your best friend's cock felt between your legs. You whimpered, “f-fuck, Eddie.”

“Keep moanin’ my name, mi amor,” he encouraged breathlessly, cursing when he finally let his fingers feel the damp lace material covering your sex. “Oh—you're fucking soaked, baby. All this for me?”

“Yes, yes, Eds—” you cried, finding purchase on his shoulders as you writhed desperately in his embrace. “Please! It-it's all for you, only for you.”

He slipped his thumb under the fabric and collected your juice before bringing it to your mouth. Eddie licked the sticky mix from your lips and groaned against you.

Whimpering, you reached between your bodies, frantically trying to undo his belt. His head fell back with a groan, his cock itching for freedom. He cursed, endearingly watching your facial expression as you finally managed to pull him free, memorizing just how beautifully your face twitched as you mumbled, “you're so big.”

“You can take it,” he encouraged.

You traced your thumb over the leaking slit, glossing it around the angry head, the soft touch making him whimper as he nibbled on your neck. It felt absolutely maddening, having a man such as Eddie Diaz under you, hips involuntarily bucking upward in an attempt to chase whatever relief your hand could offer. You enjoyed having that kind of power over him. Chuckling, you pulled his head back from where it was nuzzled in the crook of your neck and ghosted your lips over the shell of his ear. “Easy, cowboy.”

Moving your panties to the side, you dragged your fingers through your wet folds before taking him in your hand. You peppered kisses along his jawline, stroking him slowly but firmly. The noise from the TV seemed to die out as you pumped his thick shaft with your slick, grinding against him, enjoying the ragged breaths he emitted.

You positioned him at your wet entrance, dragging the angry head through your folds, shuddering.

Eddie's rough hand grabbed you by the jaw, flexed fingers digging into your skin, pulling you close to his face. “No more teasing, princess,” he ordered hoarsely.

His command made you want to challenge him, but you couldn't hold back any longer. With a shaky breath, you positioned yourself and slowly slid down his length. There was a sharp pain but you expected as much. Still, you winced at the piercing sensation and found comfort in swallowing his ragged moan, distracting yourself from the sting as you took him to the hilt.

“Fuck,” Eddie croaked, his hands wrapping around your thighs, pushing deeper, forcing himself further into your sex than you thought possible. He helped turn the pain into pleasure by kissing you softly, tongue tasting yours as he rocked you back and forth in his lap. You gasped into his mouth, face twisting as your walls adjusted to him. “You feel so good around me, amor.”

You steadied yourself against his taut chest as you found your own rhythm. Enticed by your chest moving right in front of him, he freed a breast, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he massaged the skin with one hand, palming your ass with the other.

Initially, you had had no doubt being full of Eddie would feel good, but you hadn't been prepared to feel this much. His touch gave you warmth and kisses comfort, but the way he held you provided you with a sense of safety you never wanted to be rid of.

You settled into a comfortable rhythm, feeling confident riding his heavy cock with the sweet sounds he emitted. You took his hand from your ass and moved it to your belly, pressing into your flesh and moaning obscenely at the applied pressure. “Ho-holy shit, Eddie! You feel that? Hnng—you… so deep.”

Eddie let go of your nipple, but not before teasing the perked nub with his teeth, drawing a pitched whine from you. You watched you intensely through hazy eyes and furrowed brows, feeling his cock twitch as his hand pressed harder into your belly. “Oh—yer taking me so well, doll. Doin’ so good for me. Ridin’ me like you were meant to.”

If your face wasn't flustered before, it surely was now. Your best friend's praise went straight to your cunt, clenching Eddie deliciously as if trying to milk him.

Eddie pulled you down and kissed you messily, hungry for whatever you might give him, as long as it was you. His hand moved from his bulge prodding you from inside and settled between your legs, rubbing tight circles on your throbbing clit.

“Ff-fuck! Eds—” you gasped. The sudden determined attention to your neglected nub made you thwart forward, movements faltering as your high got higher. 

His hips rutted in response, fucking into you when your legs shook around him. “That's it, baby. Just let go—let it all go.”

Wanton sounds of sweaty skin slapping, panting, moaning, loving—you lost yourself in Eddie's warmth, falling apart in his lap as he fucked you through your orgasm.

Eddie's thrusts grew more urgent, continuing his ministrations to your swollen clit while chasing his own release.

You cried out, feeling your body spasm, convulsing around him as he didn't let up. Your polished nails dug into his shoulders, clawing marks forming under the hazy gaze of your glossy eyes. “E—hnng! Eddie,” you choked, teeth biting his skin. “I… I can't—”

Eddie ceased his torture only to hold your hips firmly as he practically fucked up into your slippery cunt like a ragdoll. Gasping, you felt the increased pace bringing on another orgasm as you held onto him for dear life, breathing each other's air. “Jus’ a little more, baby—” he grunted, jaw fixed in place as he watched you fall apart on him. “You're doing so good for me, amor. So, so good.”

“Plea-please, Eds,” you cried pathetically with just enough energy left to hold yourself slightly above him so that he could continue his assault on you. “Co-come in me, Eddie.”

Your desperate pleas set something off in him, his vivid imagination making him snap his hips roughly. Drawn into a scenario where you stood round and swollen with his seed—it made him burst.

Spurts of creamy ropes of cum painted your velvet walls as he tried to grind deeper into you, arms folding around the small of your waist, holding you down on him, his face hidden in your chest.

You noticed how the distant audio from the TV seemed to seep back to you, blending over your ragged pants and heavy breathing. Looking down between you, you saw a wet stain on your silky dress and you had no doubt Eddie's pants would be off way worse.

Eddie slowly lifted his head from your chest, those brown doe-eyes no longer filled with the same raw hunger but a weary mix of satisfaction and affection. Another surge of heat flushed your cheeks, and you pressed your lips against his, as gently as the first time around. He sighed softly at the contact, something so tender about the way your lips asked for permission while your tits were pressed against him and his cock still inside you.

After a moment you shifted and reluctantly got off him, not getting far when he didn't let go of your hand. “You-you're leaving?”

You chuckled, squeezing his hand back. “Was actually just going to clean myself up,” you said and he nodded, but didn't let go. He snickered and got down on your knees, taking his half-hard cock in your hand, tilting it upward and licked him clean. Eddie shuddered, undoubtedly sensitive to the touch of your tongue lapping at your juices. You moaned around him, loving the taste; loving the feeling of his cum leaking down your thighs.

Eddie groaned your name and you let his head go with a pop. “You'll stay the night, won't you?”

You hadn't exactly thought about leaving, but the request still made your heart flutter. “I will do anything you want me to, Eds.”

[oceanwithouthermoon]

I like your saiteru posts but I can't shake the idea that Teruhashi only loves the idea of Saiki and not actually Saiki, especially since she hated when he gave her a glimpse of himself when he was competitive during their date.

ive seen this take floating around a few times, this whole "teruhashis mental image of saiki is wrong" "teruhashi wouldnt love him if she got to know him" "teruhashi hated any time she saw his REAL personality" and i just dont get it because like...

this scene?? the scene where hes being inconsiderate, rude, not taking her feelings into account, making her play games she doesnt even want to play, acting like a gooner, etc? THIS is the scene you thought was him showing her a glimpse of what hes really like??? where did you get that from?/genq

hes competitive, yeah, but this… isnt being competitive, its just being an asshole. thats not what hes like when hes trying to win. him wanting to win games and show off with his powers is not equivalent to being an inconsiderate tryhard who wants to make everyone do what he wants with no thought to what they want…

but youre ALSOOOOO forgetting that she actually did end up being like… “hehe i still wuv him 😚” after this…

so.. on THAT note, i need everyone to pay really really close attention to what im about to say…

she loves him when hes rude, inconsiderate, pushy, competitive…

she loves him when hes open, popular, kind, powerful, reading her mind…

she loves him when hes gloomy, monotone, boring, quiet…

she loves him when hes a GIRL.

so why is the conclusion here “she wouldnt love him for the real him”? the logical conclusion here seems to be “she would love him no matter what”

WHAT ABOUT THAT DOESNT SCREAM “LOVE”?

and regarding her "only loving his persona the same way people only love teruhashis", i think everything above disproves that anyway but i have to go more into it because not only have you misunderstood me but this also implies you think none of saiki and teruhashis friends truly love them at all 😭

saikis quiet, boring self isnt completely not him. its still him, just a different side of him than you might be used to as a viewer. you guys have to understand that although, yes, he is masking and putting up a front, that doesnt mean EVERY part of him that people see is fake 😭 its the same with teruhashi, she doesnt have a single tangible "true" self entirely on the inside and a single tangible "fake" self entirely on the outside, its NOT completely black and white! PEOPLE arent completely black and white!

youre forgetting that me saying those guys (the kokomins and all those gross ew men) dont love her because they dont know and see her was accompanied by a picture of them literally asking her to continue validating them immediately after she woke up from passing out 😭 they quite literally dont love or care about her, not even about her image, they just like the idea of her image and want her to make them feel good. the whole "nobody sees and knows and loves her" doesnt apply in the same way to yumehara and their other friends, they may not truly see her with the same depth that saiki does but that doesnt mean their care for her is fake, because they DONT care more about her image than just her and being in her company even if they do still see the parts of her that ARE fake.

you cant just take the idea that they fake a lot of themselves around others and morph that into "every single thing people see of them is fake and every single thing they dont see is an accurate representation of their true selves", it just doesnt work like that 😭 regardless of saikis power and silliness and sweetness and competitiveness, hes still a quiet guy with a gloomy face. and regardless of teruhashis cuntiness (lol) and competitiveness and obsessiveness and silliness, shes still a sweet girl who enjoys making people happy. they can be BOTH and thats okay!

this misunderstanding is like youre hearing someones thoughts and thinking "oh what a blunt person" like well... no because not everything in your head defines your personality or is something youd ever want or need to say aloud. everyone thinks crazy things, had wrong initial impressions, etc, do you see my point?? am i getting this across properly??? saiki still enjoys sitting in his house and doing nothing but eating coffee jelly and playing video games and teruhashi still enjoys when she makes people happy, those things arent fake just because they contribute to their fake personas... saiki also would not have been singing and doing standup or whatever the hell people are convinced he wouldve been doing at the mixer with someone hes "more comfortable" with, he doesnt do that shit around anyone 😭 not around his family and not around the psychickers, so im not sure where people got the idea that her thinking he would sit there and do nothing was her not understanding him or that the way he was making the guys act was how he truly wants to act 😭 he can sing and crack jokes but he never has around anyone so we dont know if thats what he wants to do, i dont even remember him making jokes aloud to the psychickers other than being a little sassy ☠️ the most i remember is him making short silly jokes to tease his dad or toritsuka... you guys just assume that hes the type of guy to stand up and sing and yell and make everyone roll over laughing because idk... maybe you cant stand the idea that your fav might not be a sexy loud confident alpha male and might actually be a little guy who loves video games and watching people and being a little brat on occasion ☠️

i feel like this take is just you guys taking both their insecurities SUPER seriously, because what else could be making you think that ANYONE who doesnt know about his powers doesnt truly love or care for saiki??

anyway... it clearly just doesnt matter to her how he acts because she just loves him and enjoys his company no matter what. thats love.

[soraka-in-warhammer40k]

Hi, so, I'm not a LoL fans (played Dota 2 instead) and while I watched Arcane, I wouldn't call myself a fan of it.

However, I need Leblanc's hair care routine because WHAT THE SHIT?? That's the smoothest and straightest bob I've seen in my entire life. I want it. I want her hair.

(Also her old design is like... objectively mid. Not bad, just mid. Not even because of her clothes, it's her fucking "blue hair and pronouns" hairstyle)

But, overall, her and Mel are lowkey making me interested in LoL. What I'm trying to say is, is there anything else you could tell me about Leblanc other than "she is scary" and "she is everywhere"? Some kind of fun out-of-context trivia perhaps? Really, anything, she caught my attention, lmao.

The "L" in LeBlanc means just that. She just LOVES gathering Ls and pretends it is all within parameters and her plans are totally not derailed by whatever setback she has produced once again. A year ago or so an artist (u/kimjdav) put it all into one thing:

LeBlanc and the Black Rose have, going from top to bottom in this image:

accidentially set off a chain of events that led to the ressurection of Azir and Shurima, the largest geopolitical rival to Noxus

created Briar (gone rogue)

tried to weaponize Annie (gone rogue)

tried to weaponize Rell (gone rogue WITH A VENGEANCE)

tried to have Swain killed (failed - he proceeded to take power in Noxus with the agenda of wiping out the Black Rose)

Gave an experimental super-weapon to a gifted young soldier (Riven) who then, guess what, WENT ROGUE

Mel (Not depicted, Relationship Status: complicated)

LeBlanc alone is responsible for 90% of all of the internal threats to Noxus that can be linked to powerful individuals.

She is one ancient (~1400 years) girl-failure who just stumbles from one rake she just stepped on to the next and who's only answer to this is to double down and raise the stakes by introducing yet another highly dangerous and volatile element to her plans because THIS TIME IT WILL DEFINETLY WORK!

She is so desperate and just everything goes wrong and she just keeps making it all even worse because that is just how much Mordekaiser potentially returning scares her.

[deargravity]

thought a bit too long about hajun's bilingualism and it turned into its own beast in my head, especially because i overfocused on the pride cd track where, at the height of his emotions, he breaks out a word in korean to express himself. both when he's angry / upset after the confrontation with ryuu and when he's grateful / freshly vulnerable later after that conversation with allen and anne. i know it's a trait of his character to be repressed and insincere in expressing himself but i also wanted to spend time on how language might play a role into his self-presentation, and possibly it is reflective of how carefully he has to maintain and build his image. the language he learned inside-out, the language he was born into (korean) and the language he learned outside-in, the language he speaks to blend into the host culture (japanese), and i think that's the bare-bone fundamental immigrant experience that it might also tie into his sense of isolation and how carefully he curates himself to be accepted and admired, without really knowing how deeply he is loved by the people in his life.

when you learn a new language, if you're busy attending to the rules of syntax and grammar and morphology finding the right way to word things, how much room do you really have for putting in your own voice into that framework, how do you really express yourself in the early stages such that you are truly understood the way you want to be, even in regular conversations when you can communicate with someone in their language, so much meaning is lost between what is said and what is heard. especially when language is the conduit for understanding culture as well.

language has been shown to influence our sense of time and direction and even the range of colours that we see so it's not too far-fetched to mirror this learning experience with how hajun had to grow up in japan away from his family, and his language, and acclimatise to an unfamiliar setting. what i'm trying to say is that after having to internalise the idea that he is unloved by his family, the struggle of fitting into a new society might have exarcebated his loneliness as well, especially since he couldn't regularly speak the language he grew up with. how closely was his childhood tied to the language, how often did his feelings get lost in translation growing up, and is this also part of the reason no one has truly been able to understand him, the reason he doesn't bother with honesty after a childhood of growing up alone, thinking himself unloved and not worth understanding, and of course does that affect his relationship with vulnerability into his adulthood? how do you even begin to conceptualise this kind of experience as a kid? everything he learned turned into habit that became less about being instinctive and truthful and more about putting it together correctly, not just in a new language, but also in a new self, for a new place. if you get what i mean by the parallel.

on language: what language do you think with? how do you access and translate memories into another language? what do you lose of yourself in the process of translation? at what point, do you give up on translating and build yourself something new? at this point, aren't you lying to yourself too? of course, you'd also lie to everyone else.

i don't know if i've read too much into something and turned it into a headcanon, but it's just something i noticed in the pride cd track, when his mask cracks under the pressure and not just through language. that aside, i just thought it might be a good place to start understanding part of the reason why he's so emotionally shuttered and distant all the time. maybe it's language, maybe it's habit, maybe it's because he also has a very selective and flawed understanding of himself, and very likely it is also self-loathing but that's a conversation for another day, thank you for reading.

[liesreblogstheworld]

I love how this is essentially an old timey 'character working companionably in a creative workspace' picture AND how the perspective makes you feel like you are a spider up in the corner who is there to share in the productive energy so you can finally just get your homework done.

“Please excuse the sorry state of my cabin.”

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[effervescent-fool]

i think one of my biggest (and only) gripes with procreate is that they dont have like. a masterlist of features their app has to offer. a full thorough ui navigation. because ive been using procreate for a couple years now and im still discovering preexisting features because they just. dont mention it anywhere

[kyouka-supremacy]

Mmmhh...

[blans]

i like that norris gave back what he recieved from piastri in brazil. a win for a win. it's nice.

can we now stop with it though? the whole gifting wins thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. it strips the win of any kind of dignity, no matter the good intentions or the well-meaningness. it never feels earned, it's more akin to pity. which, i would imagine, is the last thing you would like directed at you when you've just won something.

[goreforum]

like no other to you, what you've done you cannot undo

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

thoughts on how the Liyue Archon quest went [5]

Bolai: so what kinda silk flowers u guys want Paimon: uh. the good kind? Bolai: Zhongli: lists the flowers Bolai: oh i see, u three must be this fine gentlemen's servants then! please refrain from contributing further! Kaeya: Lumi: ???? bro. Bolai: anyway!

i love how, immediately after, Zhongli just,,, yaps about flowers. he's so silly, and he yaps so much. and also Kaeya and Lumine are just like "oh,,, he's so knowledgeable,,,, and also his voice pretty,,,,,,,,"

and then immediately it's followed up with "oh do you have any mora to pay for these flowers?"

anyway, the Traveler Trio go off to get the flowers turned into perfume after the whole thing, while Zhongli goes and waits by the Statue of the Seven. while i am focusing mainly on Lumine and Kaeya rn, i do think that currently, Zhongli's just,,, burdened by such a heavy weight? he's probably still thinking about this decision he's made, and is probably consistently thinking of the outcome it'll have. he's a God of Contracts currently thinking heavily about this Big Ass Contract(tm) that he's got rn. so it makes sense that he kinda just,,, stops to stare at this Statue of his Divinity.

meanwhile, with the Traveler Trio goes off to like,,, talk to women abt perfume.

Paimon: [in reference to some NPC i forgot] Paimon remembers she smells pretty good! Lumi: Lumi: we barely spoke to her when we first arrived here, why are you SNIFFING PEOPLE, PAIMON Kaeya: even by Lumi's standards, that's weird.

anyway, Lumine gets a Weird Vibe(tm) from Ying'er and Kaeya, meanwhile, is personally very concerned and disturbed by the,,, innuendos that Ying'er uses when chatting with them.

on the way back to Zhongli, I like to imagine that Lumi tells Kaeya about her theory while Paimon is charging ahead. she's incredibly adamant about him being the Geo Archon, but Kaeya's not convinced. the current belief he holds is that Zhongli is more likely an adeptus of some kind—because Zhongli's DEFINITELY not human. but the God of Commerce not knowing about Mora??? pleaaaase.

and while Lumi's like 100% sure, Kaeya makes the joke that 'maybe Zhongli was just a simp for Rex Lapis before he died or something, lmao'.

and then they walk in on Zhongli staring at the Statue and kind of being Zoned Out(tm) and Kaeya's just like "hmmmmmmmmmmm"

[fragmentedblade]

Insane that Blade during Todd's quest did basically the same thing Dan Heng was doing during this last video