#i just jumped a shark guys

[bugdatabase]

i was a bad girl i did skme bad things

[sunnydayaoe]

Inktober Sharktober !! day 1-2? this list skips a day inbetween [verry nice] Fairytale Shark !!

[query-quadrant]

I've had a pitch crush on someone for a while! I really hate them! >:)

But one of our hatefriends just told me they might be pale for me? >:O

If they are, what do I do??? How do I make them hate me properly? :(

I don't pity them! I don't even know why they pity me! Or if they even really do! :?

It's really confusing and I don't want to have to reject them and then have to try and ask them out! That's not gonna go well!!! >:(

yeah i dont know that sounds awful i think personally id just die

questionable advice: either try upping the annoyingness and going all out with pitch flirting or just sit them down and just actually ask them if they pity you or not maybe youll get lucky and they dont but either way at least youll know right so that sucks a little less than not knowing

bad advice: kill their lusus maybe thatll make them really mad at you

[idaten-jump]

Bonus consolation prize for Taiga: fanart of him looking fine 👌✨ (because I want to make everyone who didn't vote for him second guess their choices 😈)

In reference to this

[passiveagreeable]

Flipped on shark week to a program called Bear vs. Shark, and was immensely disappointed to discover it was Bear Grylls and not an actual bear.

[lilislegacy]

leo: you know it’s funny when i see all my friends fight monsters. because as the most powerful demigods alive, everyone gets the job done. but everyone does it so differently

chiron: how so?

leo: well jason is like a robot, or some fighting machine, because with all his training he’s so programmed and concise. frank is basically the bipolar animal version of the hulk. piper is weirdly calm and seductive with her “you think what i tell you to think” voice. annabeth is methodical and sneaky and alarmingly brutal. nico is just creepy as hell. and hazel’s like a freaky witch with all her voodoo magic shit

chiron: all great descriptions. and percy?

leo: oh percy’s just a crazy son of a bitch

chiron, chuckling: and you’re not?

leo: hey i may be ADHD off the walls, and i do make some crazy plans, but that dude should be deemed legally insane. i once saw him jump onto the back of a giant sea monster, stab it with a narwhal’s tusk, and then ride a great white shark around as he lassoed monsters with kelp ropes. and the entire time, he was singing a cage the elephant song

chiron, nodding thoughtfully: “ain’t no rest for the wicked?”

leo: no actually it was “around my head.” guy’s got great taste

[bodybaggage]

Oh, It’s On!

DP X DC

Ensue the prank war…

---

It all started with a simple question posed by Dick as he lounged on the Batcave’s most uncomfortable piece of furniture, which he affectionately called "the Bat-Stone."

“So, has anyone actually tested the limits of Danny’s ghost powers?”

Tim looked up from his laptop, always the first to take a bait. “You mean, besides the constant intangible phase he does to avoid Damian’s batarangs?”

Stephanie, who was tending to her bo-staff but was actually poking Cass with the end of it—grinned. “I’m in. If nothing else, we’ll get some decent entertainment. Better than watching Bruce brood in the dark.”

Cass, normally the least likely to engage in such activities, simply tilted her head with a curious look that might have been interpreted as a quiet agreement. She might not speak often, but Cass had developed a taste for subtle chaos.

Jason cracked his knuckles with a smirk. “Sounds like a good way to pass the time. And besides, I’m bored.”

Danny, floating into the room with a glow of mild suspicion, was not as oblivious as they might have hoped. “You guys aren’t planning anything, are you?”

Dick waved a hand dismissively. “Us? Plan something? Come on, Danny, we’re innocent.”

Danny gave him a deadpan stare. “That’s literally the opposite of what you are.”

The challenge was set, and everyone knew it. But Danny, being the ghostly trickster he was, didn’t wait to be pranked first. He struck with precision.

---

The first inkling that things were amiss came when the Batmobiles began moving on their own. Jason was the first to notice, his usual vehicle—a sleek, red tank of a motorcycle—had rolled up to him as if it were a loyal dog wanting to go for a walk.

“Alright, who’s messing with my ride?” Jason demanded, but the vehicle simply honked twice in response, the sound oddly cheerful.

“It’s not me!” Tim called from across the cave, where his own ride had begun circling him like a shark. “I swear, I’m not touching anything!”

Danny floated nearby, feigning innocence with an expression that screamed, I totally did this. “You sure your cars aren’t just excited to see you?”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “This is war, ghost boy.”

---

The Batcave, typically a place of stoic professionalism, had devolved into a battleground of pranks. Stephanie had rigged Danny’s usual hangout spot with a pop-up scarecrow (it looked suspiciously like Scarecrow, but with a clown wig) that would jump out at him whenever he tried to sit down.

The trap backfired spectacularly when Danny phased through the seat, sending the scarecrow careening into Cass, who simply caught it midair with one hand and set it down gently. Without saying a word, she gave Stephanie a look that said, ‘Nice try, but no.’

“Okay, point to Danny,” Stephanie conceded, wiping away tears of laughter.

In retaliation, Danny decided to step up his game. The next morning, Alfred calmly entered the Batcave with a tray of tea, his hair glowing an eternal green. Not a word about the change, not even a glance in the mirror—Alfred was far too professional for that.

Bruce, however, did notice. “Alfred, did you do something... different with your hair?”

Alfred, ever unflappable, set down the tea tray. “Just trying out a new look, Master Wayne. I believe it’s quite... refreshing.”

Bruce nodded slowly, not entirely sure if Alfred was joking. “It’s very... unique.”

Danny had to leave the room, barely containing his laughter. The dry humor had struck a chord, even with the ghost kid.

---

As the prank war escalated, it became harder to tell who was pranking who. Jason found his helmet filled with ectoplasm, while Tim’s gadgets began mysteriously glitching out, causing them to display random memes whenever he tried to access files.

Stephanie set up a system of water balloons throughout the cave, each strategically placed to drench whoever activated the trap. The grand finale was a large balloon precariously perched above the entrance, ready to douse the first unlucky victim.

Unfortunately for Damian, who had been staunchly standing next to Bruce to avoid any involvement in the chaos, his loyalty did not save him.

“I am not a part of this, Father,” Damian declared, stepping slightly closer to Bruce.

A soft ‘click’ echoed in the cave, followed by a loud splash as the massive water balloon above exploded, soaking Damian from head to toe.

Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Damian, I thought you said you weren’t part of this.”

“I am not!” Damian insisted, dripping onto the Batcave floor. He glared at the ceiling as if it had personally offended him. “This was not intended for me.”

Danny appeared next to him, intangible and dry. “I guess the water balloon had other plans.”

Jason, Tim, Stephanie, and Dick burst into laughter, while Cass allowed herself a rare smile. Even Bruce couldn’t hold back the faintest twitch of his lips.

---

The chaos continued throughout the day, culminating in a final showdown where Danny—now fully embracing his role as master prankster—made every Bat-Suit in the Batcave walk out of their cases and perform the ‘Michael Jackson’s Thriller’ dance.

Bruce had walked in just in time to see his most serious suit do the moonwalk.

“That’s it,” Bruce declared, finally done with the madness. “No more pranks in the Batcave.”

But as he said it, his own suit’s visor flipped up to reveal a pair of glowing green eyes that winked at him before going dark.

Danny’s laugh echoed through the cave. “You’re gonna have to catch me first, Bats!”

Bruce sighed again, mentally preparing himself for the next round. It seemed that in the Batcave, chaos would always have a ghostly signature.

[sw33tsuccubus]

𝒫𝑒𝓇𝒸𝓎 𝒥𝒶𝒸𝓀𝓈𝑜𝓃 boyfriend headcanons

you’re best friends who kiss

likes kissing your cheek. it’s just where his lips go. if he’s excited, like after winning capture the flag, he kisses your lips and then gets all flustered. it’s like the first time all over again. gives you these big bear hugs that make you warm. nuzzles his face into your hair during these.

has been jumpscared by a bee before. maybe he jumped into your arms and shrieked. just maybe.

it’s rare the two of you can cuddle. camp is always so busy. whenever you can, though, it’s always so sweet. sometimes you lay on your back and he drapes an arm and leg over you, his head on your shoulder with his breath lightly tickling your neck. sometimes his arms lazily wrap around you, face in your hair, legs tangled together. occasionally he’ll spoon you while you cuddle one of his plushies.

speaking of his plushies. he has a few, and they’re all sea creatures. a crab, a squid, a shark, a clownfish, a seahorse, a dolphin. he’ll be offended if you think they’re silly.

kind of embarrassing. will brag you’re the best at something even if you’ve never done it. has an ‘i ❤️ my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner’ shirt.

you guys have bracelets of each others’ color schemes. there’s a charm related to your godly parent on there. the one he gave you is blue, and it has a trident charm.

he paints his nails with you. more often than not they’re royal blue, but sometimes he paints them your favorite colors. he’d love to match you, smiling at your hands whenever your fingers are intertwined and he can see.

smells like the sea naturally. he uses cologne and scented shampoo, but you can only smell them if he’s pressed against you.

leaves clothes at your cabin just so you can wear them. gets so giddy if you do. denies any accusations that he does it on purpose. he makes sure it’s always his favorite clothes too, so it smells just that much more like him since he wears them more.

when you start talking, he zones out of everything in the room. partly because he’s hyperfocusing, but also because he chooses you over anything else. maybe he has heart eyes. just maybe.

he’s into pda, but he listens to your boundaries. in love with holding your hands. he’s be a little disappointed if you wouldn’t let him but he’d understand.

has tried impressing you by flexing. yeah, he’s muscular, but it was so funny. he’s talking with a friend, sees you, and immediately shows off. please don’t laugh, he’ll cry about it.

he’s dramatic. pouts and whines if you laugh at him for being childish. pouts and whines if you don’t laugh at one of his jokes. pouts and whines if you don’t hang out with him at least three times a day.

asks to spar with you. he’ll hold back to see what you’re capable of and then match as best as he can. if he cuts you, he’s apologizing and almost screaming. if you cut him, he’s laughing it off and telling you he’s okay. it’s fine if that’s not your thing, though; you can watch him :) at first, you think he’s being egotistical when he offers, trying to show off, but it’s kind of cool to watch. he’s like a gymnast, or a figure skater. his motions are just so fluid.

he likes to go swimming at least once a week to keep himself grounded. if you don’t want to come, he’ll collect you something from underwater. a pretty rock, a seashell, some random ocean treasure. he’d be ecstatic if you came with him, though. picking you up and twirling you in the water and splashing water at you.

does not shut up. he lays there and yaps about his day with his head on your lap and your hands playing with his hair. tells you about his favorite movies while walking with you around camp. he complains about any inconveniences with his cheek pressed to the top of your head, his arms wrapped around you.

that being said, he’s also a great listener. he sits there and nods along, smiling and adding small quips where needed. if you need advice, don’t ask him!! no matter how much you love him, he gives terrible advice. he’s quite reckless.

he’s protective. not overly so, but he is. he’s watching over you during training, he’s worrying if you ever go on a quest without him, he’s standing up to anyone at camp or at school who says something about you. if you got injured during the Battle of Manhattan or the fight against Gaea, he would be very worried and so so mad. he would put everything at risk for you.

he gets jealous sometimes and it’s funny, seeing him pout and reach for your hand. he’ll gently laugh at you and tell you how he feels about you if you ever feel jealous.

dating him is an experience.

he has some mood swings. he’s normally a happy, funny guy, but sometimes he gets sad thinking about his past and all the friends he’s lost. he gets frustrated and angry sometimes, when things don’t go his way or if things start piling up.

if he’s upset, he tries to avoid you so that he doesn’t snap at you. once he’s feeling better, he’ll come to you and hug you, which lead to cuddles. he doesn’t say much when this happens. either it’s silent, or you can talk to him and he’ll listen to each word.

he’s such a sweetheart. he’s always thinking about what you prefer and your interests and he’s always trying to be a gentleman for you, though his silliness makes it funny.

he’s all in all a caring and sweet boyfriend.

[overtail]

ATLA Headcannons - Dating Them ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

These are all MY headcannons, and you dont have to agree on them :3

Aang ༄

-since you two are so young, it tends to be awkward at first

-hes very touchy, but he'll try his best not to show it

-he'd love to hug you by wrapping his arms around you waist and bringing you tight. the feeling of your cheek against his chest makes his stomach flutter

-if you're a non-bender, he'll be very protective towards you. if you were ever taken or lost, he'd behave just like when appa was stolen by the sand benders

-he spends most of his free time daydreaming about you

-'you've got, nice, uh, ears?'

-horrible at compliments

-you hear whenever he asks Sokka for crappy advice

-absolutely adores when your hair is down (fem)

-when it comes to liking guys, he prefers longer hair (masc)

-blushes when you ruffle his grown out hair

-he'll take you on rides on appa when you're feeling down

-'i'd love to try, but there's meat in the stew..'

-if you were a bender, he'd always be begging you to teach him moves and tactics even if you didnt know how to be an instructor

-loves skin to skin contact, and will press his bare chest against your back when sleeping

Sokka 𖦹

-the BIGGEST nagger

-can't ever stop moving while sitting around the fire

-won't keep his lips off yours when you're alone

-will fall head over heels for an angsty teen boy (masc)

-especially mean to you when he likes you, and teases you while dating

-thinks your aggression is hot

-very protective of you, even if you're strong/a warrior

-'shit- i mean uhm.."

-cussing problem

-both of you guys are stupid together, so when you were thirsty and dehydrated in the desert, you both got high on cactus juice

-'heh.. you see that flying shark cat?'

-loves seeing you embrace your feminine side (fem)

-love language is cooking for you, even if he sucks

-crappy pick up lines work but just because you think his attempt is cute

-'did i hurt when you fell from heaven?'

Zuko ☄

-not very open about his emotions in the beginning

-when he gets comfortable with you, he'll sometimes cry in your arms at night

-arm across your shoulders or around your waist CONSTANTLY.

-and when i mean constantly, i mean constantly.

-when hes fire lord, he'll have a designated room for whatever hobby you're passionate about

-'the greenhouse is just outside-' 'A GREENHOUSE?!'

-thinks stretch marks are the most beautiful thing

-can stare at your face for hours on end because hes so lost in your eyes

-loves doodling you in his notebooks

-if hes in an angry mood, he'll always have a soft spot for you

Katara ≈

-jealous jealous jealous girl

-love splashing you with water just to bother you

-runs her fingers through your hair at night to calm both of you down

-embarrassed when you catch her singing

-she hates it when you leave a mess

-super cuddly when tired

-loves stupid nicknames

-'whatever you say, princess.' 'what did you just call me?'

-loves telling stories you've heard 1000 times over and over again

-SUPER big hugger

-will elbow you when she can sense you're annoying someone

Toph ᨒ

-will always find a way to wind in an argument

-constantly using being blind as an excuse

-'i can't clean up the mess if i CAN'T SEE IT.'

-super giggly when you tell jokes, but only when its you

-jumps around with joy when she hears that you're gonna be joining the gaang on a mission

-hates when you hold her in your arms because she can't feel the floor

-women with deep voices make her weak in the knees (fem)

-unsurprisingly, fighting is one of her love languages -- she likes competing with her favorite people

-loves when you tell a story in detail, especially the juicy ones

-holds your hand whenever walking somewhere

Suki ❀

-loves spending time outdoors (picnic dates, walks, exploring)

-she loves putting you in makeup because you look ridiculous (masc)

-very inexperienced when it comes to romance

-'why are you kissing my neck? That's not where my lips are..'

-loses things CONSTANTLY and always makes you help her look for it

-loves dancing with you

-pathological liar, but only when it comes to stories

-'one time, i saw the unaki eat a child.'

-listening to rain and cuddling in front of a window makes her feel so happy

-loves taking care of children with you, and looks forward to having kids

-loves your corny jokes

...

BONUS!!

Sexuality headcannons..

Aang: unlabeled

he just sorta loves who he loves

Sokka: Bisexual with a preference for women

Says hes a ladies man, but will fall for a boy from time to time (*cough cough* zukka)

Zuko: Gay

Im sorry ladies but just LOOK AT HIM.

Katara: Pansexual

I love kataang with my whole heart so i couldn't really see her with anyone else, but if Aang wasn't in the picture she'd date a few girls

Toph: Lesbian

like cmonnnnn

Suki: Straight

im sorry but im a sucker for strong straight females

[soosavy69]

A sweet reunion

Sebastian solace x Fem! reader

This was just a little something I thought up after playing the game all day 🥰 enjoy.

What if there was an au were you guys reunited after he got taken away from you?

Tw: Angst, separated lovers, talks about death (no-one dies dw) reunited lovers, tooth aching fluff.

This was written for the people who have already played Pressure. I have not finished it myself, But there will be spoilers for Sebastian's file as well as doors '001' - '047' I highly suggest you play Pressure before you read this.

Life after Sebastian got convicted just wasn't the same. Your room felt empty without his warm body next to yours, dinner felt lonely. Lonely. You were so. so lonely. He was your love, your boyfriend. You wanted to marry that man. But, then he got convicted of 9 counts of murder.

You were devastated, to say the least. He was brought to court and tried. Found guilty, and sentenced to death by electric chair. You would never see him again. That day after the trial, you did nothing but cry in your bed. Your love, your life, taken. Just like that.

A few years later, you got convicted as well. You were sent down to Hadal Blacksite along with a few other prisoners.

You step into the waiting area and the head director gives you instructions over the radio. Looking around the large area and watch as several people walk into the submarines, taking them away to Hadal Blacksite. 'A death wish' You thought. A small snack bar catches your eye on the opposite side of the dock.

You trail over to it, spotting the several snacks and bottled waters. "Hi! How may I help you?" A small cat person appears from behind the counter and startles you slightly. "Can I get a water and a sandwich please?" You point at the turkey and cheese sandwich behind her. "Of course." She turns around and grabs your snack and water.

You tap your nails against the counter and she turns back with your load. That's when you spot the sugar cookie. Neatly wrapped in pretty pink packaging. Sugar cookies. That was Sebastian's favorite. You smile as you think of him. "Could I also get two sugar cookies?"

The submarine is dark as you step into it. The door folds and slams shut behind you. And down you go. You press a button on the control panel and the sub whisks you up to the surface.

The doors open and you step out onto the open dock. Grey and blue walls surround you with several crates and a forklift. A desk next to a door marked '001' in bright green lettering. Walking up to it, your fingers graze the slot where a keycard should go. 'Locked.' You turn around walk a few steps, ducking under a crate. On the other side is a few desks and a keycard on one of them.

You grab it a return to the door, sliding the keycard in the slot. It slids open with a beep and you walk into the next room. 'One down, 99 more to go.'

Along the way you had encounters with several monsters. A shark with several green eyes, and an Angler fish that you had to hide from. Your heart was pounding as your feet shakely carried you to door '47' It slid open to a dark room. The flashlight you had picked up flickers to life and you point it around the room. 'Good, no more of those squid things.' The grate on the side of the room is flund with a crash and you jump.

"Stranger, over here." A deep voice speaks. A shiver runs up your spine as you walk over to the grate. The voice is familiar to you somehow, but how? It couldn't be... could it? You crawl your way through the grate and come into a small room.

It was dark when you entered, standing up completely and stretching your arms above you. A small light flickers on in the coner of the room and you look up towards the source. "Welcome. Welcome! Don't worry i'm not going to hurt yo-" Wait. "Sebastian?" You say, cutting him off.

"Ah, Yes?" He pauses, a little confused. "How did you know my name?" You grab at the diving gear and pull it off your head. As your eyes met his, they widen. "Sweetheart?" He says shakely. Your eyes swim with tears as you two stare at each other for a while " I-I thought you were... you were dead." You sob out.

It had to be him. The short black hair, the voice, his mannerisms. He leans foward, putting two of his arms on the ground, putting another to your face, feeling your skin and wiping away a tear. You laugh and kiss at his hand. He smiles and chuckles softly. "Hi hun." He finally says. Putting hand on his, you lean foward, closing the distance and kissing him sweetly.

Warmth, love, finally. You'd found him. After all this time. You have him back. He pulls away and laughs. "Looks like someone missed me." You puff out your cheeks. "Of course I did. I thought you were dead!" He shrugs. "That's fair." You look over his body, his angler fish light, the gills, the large tail. Three arms?! "What happened?" A frown appears over his smile and he looks away.

An hour or so passes as he explains to you what happened after he was convicted. You sit on his tail, eating your sandwich. You can't imagine what he had to go through, the scientists, the pain from the DNA. All of it. You felt terrible. "So... yeah. That's what happened." You frown as you look at him.

"But it's okay. I've found you. I'm still alive." You finish the last of your sandwich and pull out the two cookies. A hand comes up to wipe your mouth and unwraps the two cookies. "Do you still like sugar cookies?" Your eyes met again. Shock appears in his eyes and he nods. "You remembered?"

"Of course I did love." A giddy smile is on his face before you can blink. "I haven't had a cookie in so long..." He leans down slightly and he opens his mouth. The sharp teeth scare you bit, but you giggle anyway. You make an airplane sound and wave it towards his mouth.

His teeth bite down around the cookie and he licks his lips. The flavour is sweet. The soft texture of the frosting and the crumble of the cookie itself is just... delicious. He almost cries. His hand comes fowards to take the rest of it from you. You place it on his hand and smile. He returns it.

"I love you." He says. You're stunned for a second before tears return to your eyes. "I love you too Sebastian." You say, taking a bite out of your cookie.

[frankieunscripted]

My reasons to hate Drake

First things first, I'm the reales- wait, wrong theme. First of all, I would like to say this is NOT an unbiased recap, this is literally just me listing things I've hated about Drake for years. You might as well join in on the hate train. Go watch some YouTube video essays on this if you wanna know more!!! You'll find plentyyyy

Certified Pedophile ("allegedly"): Texting teen girls until they're of age and then go and date them. ew.

Cosplay Gangsta: disrespecting the culture as a whole, but especially what hiphop is about. Flexing money, cars, girls, drugs, clothes bc he never understood hiphop was never about flexing, but about being heard bc you're oppressed, about revolution. Now we got his die-hard fans running around acting like this is true rap. no. "You don't know nun bout dat!"

Culture Vulture: jumping from trend to trend in order to make it "his own", faking accents that he has no business playing with and dropping them as soon as he's done with this specific type of genre bc it's not trendy anymore. Adapting whole "personas" around this, instead of just merely collabing with other artists. Jamaican and African accents are just 2 examples here.

Blackness: Drake never really got out of his acting career. Back on DeGrassi he was acting as a high school jock. Now he's acting like a tough black guy who's from the streets and knows what it's like to be down bad, when this was never his life. Lil Wayne warned him to never change and act tough just bc he would sign to Weezy's label where the rappers were predominantly "gangsta type dudes". And what did Drizzy do? He's acting all tough and "outta dem streets". He's clearly overcompensating for not feeling black enough (I've already reblogged 2 posts about this, pls see these for further context). Drake's mad for not being referred to as a rapper who speaks on being black, when in reality the black experience was never of topic in any of his songs. He also doesn't give back to the community.

Lil Wayne: Drake had relations with fellow rapper Lil Wayne's gf (she actually was of age, ayoooo!) while Wayne was away in prison. Wayne got word of the fact his gf was cheating on him with the young guy he signed under his label and was pissed. Drake, in an effort to smooth out the situation, got Wayne's face tattooed on his arm. Say what you will about portrait tattoos, but this story is just so fucking typical Drake. How the fuck do you think this is gonna help anyone?

Validation: Drake donates money in the music video for God's Plan, only to earn more money with that video/song than he donated in the first place. He felt good about donating and then never did that shit again.

Numbers: As a great man once said: "Crack fiends bought 10 million rocks, that don't mean it's good. It don't mean nothing." (As you can imagine, that man was 2Pac). And with that I say that proving your worth in the industry by numbers don't mean a lot. It means you and your team figured out the market and started producing stupid, vapid, but terribly long albums to maximize streaming numbers, automatically bumping up your place in the industry. This is about quantity, not quality - good rap/ hiphop was never about that. Drake actively validates his music and status with his fame, money and streams and neither him nor his fans seem to get that says nothing about the artistic value of his music. "Numbers lie too, fuck your pride, too!" (I mean really, Baby Shark has 14 Billion views on YouTube - you think that's REAL artistry, Mister Aubrey?)

Cocky Ass Bitch: I would be okay with a lot of his music if Drake just knew his fucking place. He went pop ages ago, but still people (including himself) refer to him as a rapper - no even, as THE rapper, placing him in the Top 3. Sometimes I feel like y'all do this, just to piss me off personally. Apart from everything else wrong with Drake, there's nothing wrong with liking music like his persé. Not everyone likes conscious/ deep stuff and sometimes, when you with the homies, you just wanna chill and listen to something "mindless" - MIND you, I'm not looking down on "non-conscious" rap, I'm just saying not every artist has to be woke/ deep all the time and some "empty" party anthem about girls, fashion, cars and alcoholism is fun at times. These party anthems deserve their place. And a child actor turned rapper turned POP STAR is valid in my books - just not if it's Drake. Apropos cockiness: The dude compares himself multiple times to Michael Jackson and while that got a few good lines out of him, I believe it's close to fucking blasphemy. Drake and MJ on the same pedastal. I mean sure, questionable stuff happening with kids, both of them wildly successful in their industry (mind you, streaming like today wasn't around back then and many of the numbers cannot be compared), but one of them a real talent and the other one some guy who more or less made it as an industry plant. "I can dance like Michael Jackson? / I'd argue your skills really lack, son!" (okay sorry, I know, that was corny as fuck xD) Dude is flexing with numbers instead of poetic abilities -

About the art itself:

Ghostwriters: "What poetic abilities?", I hear you ask - Yeah, don't think I forgot! Best believe I been cooking this one. There's evidence for Drake having ghostwriters - which on its own is fine, don't believe every star writes every single bar on their own. My problem with this is, that Drake keeps his cocky attitude, even though many of his hits aren't really Aubrey-written and also many ghostwriters never get their credit (this is why they're called "ghostwriters", I know that this is not something specific to Drake, but slapping one more name on the credits ain't that hard, when you're worth a billion bucks already). This is the rap equivalent of flexing your homework when you know DAMN WELL copied it off of your best friend and did nothing for that success. I guess his song Right Hand wasn't about a romantic interested after all, but the dudes who been writing it!

STOLEN SHIT: Why in hell is no one mentioning this on here? Drake is KNOWN for stealing other artists' verse metres (referred to as "flows", y'all tumblr, idk how much you guys do know, okay?), melodies, whole beats, samples or verses in general. In no other studio would you see mentions of a "reference track" concerning songwriting. They take a song as reference and build around it as they construct a beat. There's PLENTY of evidence for this happening, one story really had me baffled, where a young indie-rapper met Drake in the early 2010s, gave him his CD to listen to and a whopping 5 years later the indie-rapper realizes Drake just fucking stole his entire song (a really personal one at that) on his latest album back then. Being indie, of course the guy had little to no means of fighting back with lawyers or anything, man's was working a 9to5 job and had other stuff going on. Before you wanna argue with me though: YES. There is a difference between stealing and paying hommage. One famous example is Drake biting Eminem's Superman flow on Chicago Freestyle: "But I do know one thing though/ Bitches, they come, they go/ Saturday through Sunday, Monday / Monday through Sunday, yo/ Maybe I'll love you one day/ Maybe we'll someday grow". The only good thing Drake ever did was changing Em's "Bitches" to "Women" on his song. Other than that: exact same few bars. This is a hommage. Why? Because Eminem, that's why. You can pay hommage to great, well-known artists with good bars. It takes a common ground of knowledge from artist to audience to make a hommage like this work. That can go well. Kendrick copies the flow of a Kanye West song on HiiiPower and it works just fine because you listen to either of the song and think: "Ah yeah exactly, that one part, okay, I see you." You don't pay hommage to a small, unknown, indie-rapper by copying his whole verse about his Mom, when you would never say stuff like that on your records before. You don't, because it wouldn't work. None of your listeners would understand the innuendo at all, because no one ever heard of the "great guy you'd be paying hommage to". So shut up.

Music: It's just not that good. Like yeah, he had a few bangers, but let's not exaggerate. Artistically Drake does not offer anything. If he ever did, he probably left all of that on the first few albums he still rapped on. His delivery sucks, his singing voice sounds like he's tryna be The Weeknd at times but isn't. The lyrics aren't special. What the fuck?

Euphoria: Even before getting deeper into hiphop, I've always hated the way Drake presents himself. When Kendrick said: "I hate the way that you walk, talk, dress" I felt that. I hate the way he "raps", the way he drags his words, the way he laughs, the way he "sings". Just a whole lotta shit I dislike about the guy.

Sneak Dissing: If you want beef then get in line, don't just kinda allude to it, you weak ass bitch

SENSITIVE ASS BITCH: I love a man who's in tune with his feelings but Drake being the cosplaying gangsta clown he is, acts like he's all tough when in reality, you can't really say shit to him, cause he "can't let this shit slide, ay".

Kendrick's Control Verse drops - a verse calling out multiple rappers saying Kendrick will come for them in friendly competition for the crown of being the best. Drake was mentioned. Everyone thinks it's kinda cool and goes along. Drake is mad. In an interview he basically said he found it fake because the next time he saw Kendrick "it was all love" and that he wanted it "to be real. Let it be real then". Okay crodie, next time you get called out in a fair rap competition, best believe I'll sock you in your fucking throat, I gotchu.

The Weeknd doesn't sign to Drake's label OVO after working with Drake for a while. Drake is mad again and feels betrayed. Why you gotta be like this?

Kendrick says that he doesn't wanna collab with Drake because their music is too different, not because of anything personal. He just doesn't see it happen in the near future because it would not match artistically. Drake gets mad.

Drake stopped beefing with Pusha T back in the day. Probably because he exposed his son. But still, if you want beef, then clean up your plate, bc you eat what you order and dont't just start to "let this shit slide, ay"

("allegedly") being involved in XXXTentacion's passing back in 2018 over beef. This beef started because of the flow of X's popular song Look at Me!, which Drake stole shortly after letting X know his management would contact him about a possible collab. As you can imagine, X was never contacted by Drake's people. The kid was 20 years old, man. He said some outrageous shit at times, but no one deserves to go out like he did.

Also, the famous DMX ("Y'all gon make me lose my mind!") once said in an interview that he'd like to punch Drake in the face and I support that. Kendrick and his homies laughed at the clip - as did everybody else, cause it's hilarious if a beast and a legend of hiphop hates Drake. Drake was mad at Kendrick laughing about it and not taking it seriously. What did he expect? Should Kendrick have went after DMX and made him apologize for what he said about lil Aubrey? How old are you? 5?

Drake gets mad at a lot of shit - bottom line. I could go on and on, but I've been writing this for hours, it's half past 3 am and I wanna sleep after uni and work, y'all.

DURING THE DISS-ERTATION: this section is about shit Drake did during the beef with Kendrick.

Saying Kendrick's Like That verse was weak af. That's your core response? Someone flames you and people are already throwing ass to the mere sound of it and you think: "Huh, that sucked anyway." Pathetic.

Calling Kendrick short (over and over and over again) as if his height is under his control/ his fault? - as if that takes way from Kendrick's skill, Kendrick's allegations againt Drake! - as if that means ANYTHING AT ALL to people over the age of like... 12?

Going after anybody's family in the first place. I know nothing is really "off-limits" in a rap battle like this, but please have the fucking decency. Don't mention my Momma, my kids, my dog, my fam, my friends who ain't got nothing to do with the fact that I hate you. I will say I am not proud of Kendrick for getting down on that level himself - but I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy Meet The Grahams and the sheer panic it induced. And sometimes I gotta be a little childish and yell "But Aubrey started ittt!"

Hitting on Whitney in The Heart Part 6. Don't go for another man's treasure, you absolute dog. Accusing Whitney of being unfaithful. My friend, this beef is about us (the Culture) hating you and the things you do. Stop trying to shift this into something it is not.

Reacting to diss tracks via instagram stories and memes, like he's that one popular girl in 7th grade who's gotta clap back to something someone said in school on her IG. Shut up.

Calling The Weeknd and his manager gay. Are we not over homophobia yet? Being queer is not an insult. Also falsely "accusing" people of being gay is uncool as fuck - but oh "You don't know nun bout dat!" bc false accusations are basically everything you do - and also possibly outing someone like that is fucking hurtful as shit. I know the people involved are probably not queer at all, but if they were - period.

Using AI in a song at all. Drake, you already proved you suck. Don't force it down our throats. What part of you thought it would make you look good? What part said it would be good to do in a diss track, when the world knows diss tracks are even more a show of capability than other songs. Nah, you go and use AI. Idc about your "mind games": Using AI Snoop Dogg is just weird as fuck cause the Doggy is still well and alive - if you want him to feature on your song, call the legend and ask hi- oh wait, you knew he woulda said "Aww hell nah!" cause everyone hates you? Huh. Snoop probably woke up one day, hit a blunt and asked "When the FUCK did I collab with Drake?". Anyway, using AI 2Pac is straight up disrespectful, when you know damn well the guy would've hated you if he knew who you'd become. Just doing this because it's 2Pac, because you can and not even asking for permission of Pac's people is crazy. Glad the shit was taken down anyways.

The 8 Mile "Airing Out Your Dirty Laundry"-Trick before the big battle does NOT invalidate future claims on you diddling kids. No. Not even if 2Pac says it first. Nah.

His Damage Control Effort in post to make it seem like/make us believe that he's in control, when Kendrick has been bodying him is hilariously embarrassing. Anyone can claim the mole was fake "all along" after it happened.

Making fun of Kendrick for his verse on Taylor Swift's Bad Blood is just stupid. Look at all the features Drake does. Rihanna, BadBunny, DJ Khaled, Future, PartyNextDoor, Lil Wayne, Diddy, Nicki Minaj, Wizkid, ..... the list is so fucking long (I'm just picking at random songs at this point, cause I do not want my browser/spotify history to be associated with Drake's music. I don't wanna go out of my way to say he NEEDS these people to stay relevant but let's face it: His discography and his success would be different if it weren't for them

Acting like he's so great for "finally making Kendrick rap again" - Sir, you don't write your shit on your own, stfu. You don't invest time and effort into your vapid albums. YOU should be thankful for Kendrick destryoing you, giving us the best few lines out of you in a long time.

Not addressing important shit. We been over the allegations, I will not repeat them in this post cause this is already long enough. BUT y'all on the same page as me, aight? Instead of addressing EVERYTHING, he just responds with diss tracks that aren't terrible but really not THAT good, yk? Not going into the shit that we want to se addressed.

Acting like disstracks need replay value. Idk if this is a Drake or a fanbase problem, but people really act like Drake's tracks were better, bc you can listen to them more casually. "Kendrick basically made a whole song about Drake" - THIS IS WHAT A DISS TRACK SHOULD BE! Notice how we don't call every song containing a diss immediately a "diss track"? That's why. Diss tracks were meant to hit your opponent in the stomach with witty bars, double entendres, nice delivery and good production. Diss tracks weren't meant to be club bangers - bonus if they do end up being some though, looking at you, Like That and Not Like Us.

Not reading into stuff properly or just not listening. This is a small one, but ngl I hate the fact they got the Mother I Sober reference wrong (The song is NOT about Kendrick being abused, BUT about Kendrick not being abused and his Mom NOT believing him and passing her sa trauma onto him, even though he didn't experience that). Also Kendrick explicitly says "DOT, the money, power, respect / The last one is better" on Like That and Drakes response (again) is "Huh, I have way more money than you and in the industry, I'm way more powerful than you. Also, you so short tihhihi." BITCH he SAID respect was the most important of the three and you disrespect him, not by calling him out by his wrong doings but by picking on physical features the man cannot change like a 5th grade bully.

Anyways. phew. If you made it this far... wow. I'm impressed. I'll keep updating this. Thanks for coming to my beef talk.

EDIT: Thank y'all for the positive reactions on this post. If you seek more info/ want me to further explain stuff/ have even more dirt on Drake, let me know and we can work something out. -Frankie out

[xxblairexxss]

Swimming lesson

Pairing : dad!Charles Leclerc x mom!reader

Theme : Fluff

Words count : 1.7k

Requested!

It was your daughter’s first time in the water and she needed Charles’ help to overcome her fear.

Short one that is full of fluff since my next one is gonna an angst

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

"Blue!" She squealed and pointed her little finger at the blue whale on her swimsuit while you tied up her hair into braids. When she went to her dad, you had no idea what Charles did, but she came back with a very funny-looking hairstyle that made your little one look as if she just got into a fight. Despite that, she was very satisfied because Charles kept on saying she looked cute with it.

"It’s a blue whale! Can you turn around?” She turned, facing you, and you smiled when you saw her little dimple, the same one as her dad, right on her cheeks. "You are all done! Go and get daddy!"

"Dada!" She skipped in joy and ran to get your husband, who had gone into the pool first to ‘check the water’, he said.

"Mommy! Swim?" She ran back to pull on your hand as you approached the swimming pool right outside of the hotel room. You caught Charles’ gaze, smirking as he saw you in the one-piece swimsuit, as if he had never seen you before.

"Stop staring at me. I have a husband.” You commented and dipped your legs in the water as your little girl followed your act. Charles cackled as he moved and got in between while being in the pool.

"Mommy’s not giving me a chance at all, right, princess?" He felt the little hand on his cheeks as she giggled, with no urge to understand what it was all about. "Right! It’s your first day of swim class. Stand up!" 

She stopped tittering right away as Charles switched his mood; her little hands stopped clapping as she hugged your arm, eyes looking away from her dad’s.

"Daddy’s joking around, sweetheart. It’s alright." You sent an angry stare towards the guy as he chuckled before taking the little hands from grasping your arm.

"I’m kidding, love! Come here." He extended his arms as she cautiously jumped into the water, straight into his embrace. Charles had put on her pink, flamingo-printed arm and chest life vest beforehand to help her float in case she got in the water without anyone’s supervision.

She looked back at you and smiled, only when you grinned at her. She was scared; you knew it, but Charles had been wanting to send her to swimming class, but she needed to get used to the water first.

"Can Daddy let you go?” He kissed the flushed, chubby cheek before his grasp went a little loose around the little one, which caused her to freak out.

"N—no. Dada, no! No!" Her bottom lips were pushed forward while she tried to grab Charles when she felt like floating away.

"Okay, okay! You are okay, princess. See?" He tried to let go of her once again but gave in as she started to weep, his hands flapping to get back in his arms. "It’s okay! It’s okay, I got you."

"I want mommy..." She turned towards you, her little arm still wrapped tightly around his neck, as she started to sob even more.

"Aw, what’s wrong, love?" You picked her up when Charles brought her back to you as she clambered to sit on your laps. Her head moved a little when you wiped away her tears.

"Here comes a shark!” Charles came in front of you with his hands clapped together on his head which acted like a fin, causing your little girl to cry even more.

"Really, honey?" You laughed along with Charles and cradled your little girl’s head as she weeped in your arms. "It’s okay, sweetheart. Look! It’s just daddy."

"It’s just me, baby. Look. Daddy is the shark. There’s no actual shark in here!” He got closer and tugged on the chubby hands to get her attention. "Come here, sweetheart. I’m not going to let you go this time. Promise.” He clapped on his hands, inviting her to get in the water again, but she shook her head furiously and tried to cling on to you even more.

"I don’t want...” She mumbled against your chest.

"But Daddy’s waiting for you? I thought you wanted to swim with Daddy. It’s okay." You cupped on the cheeks and kissed on her head as she started bitting on her nails, still slightly agitated. Her eyes went on her dad, who was waiting for her to calm down.

"Are you scared?” Charles asked, though he knew what the answer was. He rested his chin on her fluffy little legs as she quivered in her arms.

"This much.." She pulled her hand away and pinched her chubby fingers to show how scared she was as Charles cackled and made her giggle in tears by acting like he was trying to eat the cute hands.

"But dada is here with you. See? Or do you want mommy to get in the water too?” Charles closed his eyes as you moved your hand closer to his face to brush his hair away. "Honey, do you want to get in?” Your hand that was stroking his hair was pulled into his as he moved a little further away to give you some space.

"No! No!" Seeing the way you scooted closer to the edge, the little one on your lap started becoming more agitated as she tried to get away. She even stepped on your lap a little rough just to get away, which made you halt and wince a little. "Mommy no!"

Charles wasn’t expecting her to go frantic. She didn’t even touch the water yet; it didn’t even reach your full knee when she went all anxious. She even accidentally pulled on your hair just to try and get away. Your neck was a little red from his daughter's belligerent attempt to get away. "Okay, baby—" He made a little jump to push himself out of the pool, seeing he wouldn’t be able to take the matter into hand if he chose to stay in the water and sat by your side as he picked her up, stopping her from tossing and turning in your arms. "Hey, princess. It’s okay, love. I got you. It’s okay." He mumbled the words over and over as she hugged him, one hand on his daughter’s back, stroking on it to sooth down her cries while his other hand was on yours. "No more swimming? Should we stop? Do you want to stop?” He asked once she stopped crying, guessing she didn’t want to go back into the water, but she shook her head, telling the dad that she still wanted to, though her expression was telling otherwise.

“But dada don’t let go.." She replied, hiccuping between her words.

"Okay, dada’s not letting go this time. Pinky promise?" Charles and you chuckled, seeing the way she struggled to bring out her little finger to lock with her dad’s. "There you go! Good girl." He brushed his lips on the forehead hidden under the bangs after the successful pinky promise before picking her up to let her stand by the side. "Daddy will go in first, alright?"

She gave a slight nod, her hand rubbing on her red, rudolph-like nose, which was put to an end as you softly held the little hand.

"Okay, sweetheart. Ready? We’ll take it slow, okay?” Charles extended his arms, waiting for his little one to brace herself. Instead of jumping her way in like before, she sat back down and plopped into the water, with your hand hovering on her back in case she freaked out again. "Good job, baby! You are such a brave girl. Can you swim to Daddy?" Charles was just a hand away from her, but he stopped drawing her straight to his arms after seeing her try to kick her feet with a smile this time.

"Dada, I can't.." The dimples on the little girl’s face faded away when she realised she was going nowhere; she didn’t even budge from where she was a second ago.

"I’m right here, princess. Daddy’s right here. You can come to me.” He said, taking a step closer as she kicked her feet even more and grabbed on Charles’ hand. "You did it, baby! Good job! See? It wasn’t so bad, was it?”

You smiled, silently watching those two in their own world as your legs flapped in the water. He always knew how to calm her down; it was as if he was born to be a dad that you often joked around by saying he used to have a secret kid with someone else because he just knew how to respond and act whenever she threw a tantrum or losing control of her emotions.

"Honey, are you okay?” Charles’ hand on your kneecap pulled you away from your daydream.

"Yeah? Yeah, I’m fine! Why are you asking that?” You looked to the side, checking on your daughter, who was busy playing with her ducklings by the side, her back leaning against you as her little chubby feet kicked the water at times.

"Sorry for freaking our little girl out. I didn't expect she would act like that.” He rested his arms on your lap while you played with his hair. The hair that looked like a shade of light brown when it got under the rays of sunlight, just like the hair of your little girl by your side.

"It’s alright, honey. She didn’t mean it.” You laughed, seeing his worried expression. He always got too worried about everything.

"Let me see?” You bended down, allowing Charles to see the side of your neck, thinking he was being extra apprehensive when he had a different intention.

"Charles!" You yelled out when the next thing you felt was his arm on your waist, pulling you straight to the water and completely drenched every strand of your hair. Right after you took a breath of relief, he earned a slap right on his bare chest. "You are so mean!"

Charles and you looked towards the little one as she giggled, both hands filled with her small ducks. "Daddy mean!"

"Right, baby?! I thought Dada actually cared about me.” You rolled your eyes, feet moved further from trying to get away from him, but he moved his arms on your waist, legs got in between yours.

"I’m sorry, baby! Are you sulking? He laughed, lips went to trail kisses on your jaw with your face tilted away. "I’m sorry, baby. Can’t leave you to be the only one dry amongst us." He smiled, seeing the way the ends of your lips tilted up despite the little frown you had. "Am I forgiven?"

"A little." You laughed and pulled away when he caught your lips with his.

“Take your shower with me. I’ll help you wash your hair—“ Charles looked to the side as he heard the sweet, adorable voice cried out.

"Ducky!" Your little girl pouted, leaning a little to catch her duck toy that started floating away while you went in front of her, afraid she would accidentally fall in the water despite the safety vest.

"Dada got it!” Charles grabbed it from floating further to the centre of the pool, and before he could make his way back to his wife, he saw the rest of the ducklings started floating away as well, making your little one whimpered.

"No, my ducky!" She stomped her feet, hands went into a clench fist, looking adorably distressed that she couldn’t catch any of it, but ended up laughing with you after seeing the way her dad struggled to catch all of them at once.

"Daddy looks funny, right?” You whispered.

"Yes! Dada cute!" She covered her mouth and giggled, her small palm wasn’t big enough to cover her dimples.

“Honey, I could use some help?” Charles looked at his wife and remarked.

[aryxchse]

hii! could you do f! reader dating percy headcannons? i loved you jason grace one <33, thanks!! but also no worries if you can’t do it

ocean eyes. | percy jackson x fem!reader

a / n : i 💃🏻 am 💃🏻 on 💃🏻 to 💃🏻 see 💃🏻 my 💃🏻 husband 💃🏻

warnings : percy jackson's hot self, cursing

- alright mr obsessed af

- dating with him is like dating with a mama's boy who never leaves his mama's side

- you are the mama btw

- constantly hugging you, or has an hand on you, follows you around like a puppy etc

- overprotective, possesive, jealous, would kill someone for you, obsessed

- those are his red flags

- i won't write green flags because it doesn't end

- the only main problem is his fame

- at least five people falls in love with him the moment he enters somewhere

- but, he's only looking at you ofc

- 'everybody's watching him, but he's looking at you-u-u-uu'

- he does have girl friends but you know them all

- you know when he's shitting at this point

- the type of guy who does something and it looks unintentionally hot

- but he doesn't get why you're drooling all of a sudden

- hearts from water in the lake

- matching outfits

- sleepovers in his cabin, because cabin 3 has a calming aura

- being the mom and dad of the camp and leading the activities

- do i have to mention that sally knows you before he even introduced her to you??

- swimming in a bubble, exploring the sea

- wearing his silly shirts

- you constantly break the dressing code just to wear his sea creature shirts

- sword practicing together

- exploring the camp's forests

- sneaking out from the camp just to see a movie or visit an aquarium

- long talks under the cozy blankets

- matching shark plushies that are married

- your shark is pink

- "jewel told me that blue made her upset."

- "no worries, i already beat the shit out of him."

- dirty words whispered in your ear out of nowhere

- like, now-i-have-a-pool-between-my-legs kinda dirty

- he loves playing sports, he doesn't only swims, so you can often cheer for him on his multiple games

- like that one night he organised a football game night with the gang, and as girlfriends you cheered the boys

- wearing his jumpers that has your lucky number behind it

- kissing you after winning the match

- serious talks that turns into a therapy session

- carrying eachothers ugly childhood pictures in your wallet

- shopping together to buy camp's needs

- surfing together

- hanging out in the nyc on his skateboard

- constantly going on an adventure

- loving the shitty quests like 'finding hecate a special gemstone' or 'stealing aphrodite's hair clip from the museum'

- being in love with either or both of you is the camp's rite of passage at this point

- inside jokes

- babysitting estelle

- dancing in the kitchen

- you may think it's romantic like any other couples do but you guys dance to disney songs while both of you pant from jumping

- going to greek mythology musicals like hadestown

- dating with percy is like dating with that one boy best friend of yours that you loved all of your life and realised he was the one this entire time

[mountain-maiden]

Working Hard (Hardly Working)

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

WC: 4k

Summary: Joel helps you out at the gym and you thank him in the locker room ;)

Content: 18+ MDNI, slightly unhealthy relationship with food (blink and you’ll miss it), oral f!receiving, Joel Miller is a munch, unprotected piv, cream pie, reader is able to lift weights & incline walk, Joel is able to lift reader.

a/n: I wrote this instead of going to the gym :/ If you hate it please don't tell me 😘

You push open the doors to the gym, the familiar smell of metal and sweat invading your lungs as you step inside. You don’t necessarily enjoy working out, but you do enjoy sweet treats, and that makes working out a necessity. So, a few weeks ago, you begrudgingly got yourself a membership the gym closest to where you live, which happened to be Rock Hard Fitness. Unsurprisingly, it was an extremely male dominated environment.

After swiping your key card, you drop your stuff in the locker room and head to the dreaded cardio floor. You mildly dislike working out, but you absolutely hate cardio, and unfortunately for you, the weight floor is packed full of gym bros and meatheads who are not pleased to share their space with beginners who aren’t “on their level.” Despite the unwelcoming atmosphere, you can’t stand another day of incline walking; today you're going to lift weights or die trying.

From the cardio deck, you watch the people lifting, taking stock of the machines being used least and trying to pick out any attractive guys you can distract yourself with during your warmup. You really don’t enjoy the typical gym bro look, which means your efforts are most often for naught, but today someone different catches your eye. He’s definitely older than the average guy in the gym, broad shoulders, meaty thighs—you're basically drooling while watching him. Is it wrong to objectify people in the gym? Absolutely. Does that stop you from thirsting over the mystery gym dilf? Absolutely not.

After deeming yourself officially warmed up, you leave the safety of the cardio deck, jumping straight into the shark tank. Immediately, the booming bass of the speakers is leaking through your headphones, no longer allowing you to enjoy Kesha and Britney in peace. Great. You just take the headphones off, leaving them in your locker with the rest of your stuff before spying the gym equivalent of a unicorn: a squat rack, completely open.

You make a beeline for the rack and immediately set your sweatshirt and water bottle on the ground beside it, staking your claim. Not having to fight for a place to lift takes away half the battle of the weight deck; you breathe a sigh of relief as you survey the rest of the floor.

Now your only problem is that it’s been months since you last lifted, and you have absolutely no idea what weight to start with. You know you've lost strength, but surely you’re still able to lift your warm-up weight, right? The weights are added, and you line yourself up, taking a couple of breaths to steady yourself before standing up, moving the bar from the rack to your shoulders. Immediately, the weight is not what you remembered it being—much heavier, in fact—but you’re not about to immediately rerack and take weight off; that would be humiliating.

So, you steady yourself and dip down, enjoying the familiar strain of your muscles. After the first rep, you’re feeling alright, you can definitely handle this weight, you’ll just do less repetitions. You continue, reveling in the burn of your legs as you struggle to push yourself back up as you complete the first set. You’ve done the 6 reps you decided on, but you’re feeling good and you’re pretty confident you can do another so you go back down, determined to complete a seventh and immediately you can tell it’s a mistake. 

You get stuck halfway back up, no matter how hard you strain, the weight won’t budge. You’ve never had to bail before, always having a spotter, you realize you don’t even know how to safely drop the weight. This is it, you’re going to humiliate yourself your first day in this gym and you’ll never be able to show your face again. Your legs are shaking, you’re panting with the effort to hold yourself up when your saving grace arrives. 

You hear the low drawl of a southern accent and suddenly the weight has been halved, allowing you to stand up and rerack the weight. You turn around to thank your savior and are struck speechless when you find yourself face to face with mystery gym dilf. 

“You alright there?” He asks, eyebrows scrunched with concern. 

“Yeah, uh, yes, thank you, “ you answer breathlessly. 

“S’really no trouble, can’t believe nobody helped you sooner,” He huffs, clearly offended on your behalf. Your face heats as you realize this means he saw how long you were stuck for. 

“Well, everyone’s wrapped up in themselves, I guess that’s half the point of coming here,” you shrug, unbothered by your fellow gym goer’s lack of concern for your wellbeing. 

“Gym bros,” you sigh in unison, and immediately burst into laughter. 

“Can’t stand gym folk, but I stopped workin’ construction and now I actually gotta workout,” He explains, as if he needs to prove he isn’t one of the aforementioned gym bros.

“Me too,” you sigh, and burst into laughter at the skeptical look he gives you.

“No, I’m a barista, I just make myself too many drinks to not be working out,” you laugh and watch as his expression shifts to one of amusement. 

“You’ve got jokes,” he chuckles, “I was wonderin’ what someone as pretty as you was doin’ workin’ construction.”

Your face heats at his compliment, “What? Your construction crew isn’t full of beautiful women?”

“Trust me darlin’, if you were on my crew I wouldn’t ‘a switched to management.” He leans up against the rack, watching you closely for your reaction to his bold comment. 

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were coming on to me,” you smirk, watching the tips of his ears go pink despite him initiating the flirting. 

“Is that okay?” He asks, boldness suddenly replaced with a self conscious demeanor, “I wasn’t aimin’ to make ya uncomfortable.”

“That is more than okay,” you try to remember his name and realize he never gave it. 

“Joel,” He sticks his hand out and you hold back a small laugh at the formality. 

You give him your name and when he repeats it, testing the word in his mouth, you don’t think it’s ever sounded better. 

“Well, I was just wrappin’ up,” He scratches the back of his head, as if he is unsure how to proceed now that you’ve actually introduced eachother. 

“If it’s not too much trouble, would you mind spotting me?” You ask, searching his face for any sign of displeasure, “I mean, I think we both know I could use one.”

He laughs at that. “Not any trouble at all, darlin’.”

Your breath hitches at the nickname. You’d never been one for petnames but the way it sounds coming from his mouth, his low southern drawl, the slight gravel of his voice, it has you fighting the urge to squeeze your thighs together. You look up after realizing you’d been silent just a little to long and spot the amused glint in his eyes. 

“Alright, 2nd times the charm I guess,” you say before positioning yourself beneath the bar again, this time with the security of Joel’s warmth behind your back. 

You lift the bar off the rack and hinge down, enjoying the familiar burn of pushing back up, it’s on about your third rep that you begin to struggle, taking slightly longer to straighten out. It’s at this point when Joel steps a little closer, not touching the bar but readying himself to step in. 

“Atta girl,” Joel encourages as you push yourself up, the praise sending a jolt of heat to your core. 

You need to lock in, you can’t get distracted because an attractive older man is giving you the praise your father never did. But, when you complete your next rep and he murmurs more encouragement, you swear he has to be fucking with you. There is no way he isn’t aware of the effect his words are having on you. 

You do your second to last rep and he leans forward slightly, “Such a good girl.”

You damn near drop the weight, and when you complete the set and rerack the bar, you whip around and are met with Joel’s smirking face. He definitely knew what he was doing, and your look of annoyance seemed to only further his amusement. 

“Somethin’ wrong?” His eyes widen as he feigns innocence. Fine, two can play that game. 

“My form feels a little off, can you tell me if it looks alright?” Before he gets a chance to respond you’re already dropped down in a body weight squat, just close enough that your ass brushes the front of his shorts. You know if he didn’t want this he’d take a step back, but to your surprise he stays right where he is and you can feel the bulge in his shorts growing with each rep. 

“Form looks alright to me, darlin’,” Joel rolls his eyes at your antics, “You grind on any man who spots you?”

“Just the ones I like,” you throw back before turning around, watching the spark of amusement in his eyes give way to darkening pupils. 

“You want a hand with that?” You gesture to the growing outline of his cock against the confines of his shorts, “or a mouth?”

“I wouldn’t object,” Joel smirks, taking your hand and practically dragging you to the locker room. 

You find an empty changing stall and you are immediately tearing at Joel’s clothes trying to remove the layers keeping you from the broad shoulders and thick thighs you knew he was hiding. Eventually you remember the reason you came in here and drop to your knees, pawing at his boxers. 

“Fuck darlin’, ya gotta let me taste you,” Joel lifts you from your knees and sets you on the bench with the ease of someone moving a misbehaved kitten. He drops to his knees and that’s when you register what he means. 

You freeze, shock apparent in your features because Joel stops pulling down your shorts to look at you, “Are you comfortable with this?” He asks, searching your features for an answer, “If you want to be done just say the word darlin’, no hard feelings.”

“No! Trust me I am more than comfortable with this,” you jump to reassure, “I’ve just never met a guy that actually wants to give me head.”

He scoffs before continuing his efforts to get your tight gym shorts off, “Idiots.”

You almost laugh at how immediately he’d resumed his work once he’d been given the go ahead. He groans when he sees the wet spot on your panties, a plain cotton thong, and before you have time to feel embarrassed he’s ripped them down your legs and is devouring you with a vigour you’ve never experienced. 

Joel eats pussy like he’s starved, lapping at your slick like its the best thing he’s ever tasted, and if you asked him, he’d say it was. You thread your fingers through his hair and he groans when you pull. 

“Tell me what you like,” He murmurs, parting with your pussy for the few precious seconds it takes to get the words out. 

“What?” Your face scrunches with confusion and pleasure as his lips create suction against your clit. 

“When I do something you like, tell me. When I do something you don’t like, tell me.” He directs before returning to his mouth to your pussy, swiping small circles around your clit with his tongue. 

“Fuck, Joel,” you moan with complete disregard for the extremely thin door separating you from a heavily populated public space. 

He switches from languid movements against your clit to lapping along your slit, never fully breeching the entrance, teasing you realize. 

“Don’t tease,” you manage to get out, a tug of his hair accompanying your directive as you attempt to signal his efforts should return to your clit. 

“Is there something you want?” He looks up, a smug smile painting his face. Of course he was on his knees and you were still going to be the one begging. 

“What you were doing before,” you really don’t want to explicitly state what you want.

“You can grind on me in a public gym but you can’t tell me how you want your pussy eaten?” Joel chuckles, blatantly amused at your sudden prudeness.

“Stop being an asshole, you know what I want,” you know getting annoyed with the only man who’s been eager to give you head for wanting you to tell him how to do it best is completely unreasonable, but you also know he is purposefully being difficult. 

“Here, I’ll even tell you what to say,” a mischevious glint appears in his eyes, “‘Joel, please lick my clit’, that’s all you gotta say darlin’”.

Your eyes widen at the crude language and he chuckles at your shocked expression, as if you weren’t already getting eaten out in the locker room of a public gym. You figure a few crass words couldn’t dig you into any deeper trouble. 

You take a deep breathe and meet Joel’s eyes, irises taken over by the black abyss of his pupils. “Joel, please lick my clit.”

He supresses a shudder and you see his left hand reach down to palm his cock through his shorts before he smiles, “Your wish is my command, sweetheart.”

He dives in, and immediately his tongue is working over your clit, drawing figure eights and circles, never letting the pattern become predictable, never letting you get used to the stimulation.

You moan as his tongue works its magic, and his hands reach up and grasp your breasts, squeezing and massaging. Eventually, he slides a finger along your slit, and without warning, plunges it into you. You groan at the intrusion and buck against his mouth. He doesn’t stop licking, instead sliding his free hand down to try to relieve some pressure from his cock, palming himself desperately through his shorts to your whimpers and moans.

It isn't long before you feel the knot in your stomach start to build, and your breath starts to catch in your throat. 

"Oh fuck, Joel I'm gonna cum," You warn him, 

Joel groans into your pussy as he continues to lick and suck at your juices, speeding up his actions.

You're moaning and gasping, and suddenly your orgasm hits you. You buck against Joel's face and cry out. He moans at the feeling of you clenching around his fingers as he works you through your high, lapping more gently at your clit as you shudder through the waves of pleasure.

"Wow," you heave once you are able to catch you’re breath.

"Good?"

"Fucking great."

You lay there catching your breath, a satisfied smile still plastered on your face. You reach down and unzip Joel's shorts, pulling his cock free. It's hard and throbbing, almost painfully so, a testament to your performance and his excitement. You wrap your hand around it, marveling at the warmth and hardness of it.

“Darlin, we don’t have to,” Joel starts to protest before you shoot him a look that shuts him up.

“Joel Miller if you aren’t fucking me in the next 30 seconds I’ll have no choice but to report you for causing undue distress.”

He chuckles as you tug him forward by his shirt, “Yes ma’am.”

“I’m on the pill, and clean, so uh,” you know you really shouldn’t be making this offer.

“I’m clean too,” He replies, eyes fixed on your face. 

“I’m okay not using a condom if you are,” you can feel your face heat at how terrible of an idea you know it is, and how bad you want it despite that knowledge.

“Fuck darlin’, I’m not gonna complain,” He groans, shivering as you begin to lightly stroke him.

Joel moves between your spread legs and your heart races as he lines himself up. You can feel the warmth of his cock against your entrance, slick with desire and Joel’s spit.

"Are you sure about this?" his voice is low and husky, and he laughs a little at your eager nod. Before you can make a snarky comment you’re gasping as he fills you, your walls stretching around him, accommodating his girth.

“Fuuuck,” you moan, concerned he might actually be splitting you in half. You’ve definitely never taken anyone this big before but you’d be damned if gave Joel the ego boost of knowing that.

“Takin’ it so well for me sweetheart,” he murmurs into your ear, holding still as you adjust to his size. 

“Joel, move please,” you mean for it to be a demand but the breathy whine it comes out as has Joel chuckling as he brushes a strand of hair from your face.

He moves slowly at first, each thrust drawing a low moan from you. You paw at his shirt, suddenly deeming the extra layer an offense of the highest order. He chuckles and pulls the shirt off, giving you access to lick and suck across the expanse of his broad chest.

You kiss his chest, your lips leaving a wet trail to his nipple, which you roll between your teeth causing him to shudder. He picks up his pace, his hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you into him tighter. You wrap your legs around his hips, feeling his cock stretch you even more as he drives into you.

"Joel, fuck," you moan, your voice barely a whisper.

"You enjoyin’ yourself, sweetheart?" he asks between thrusts, his eyes locked on yours, a small smirk playing on his lips.

Before you can come up with a snarky response, he’s found a new angle that’s sending sparks through your body with every thrust. The only response you can manage is a strangled moan.

“Aw, are you a little cock dumb, darlin?” He asks with mock empathy, “Can’t even answer a yes or no question,” He scoffs, but the tender look in his eyes lets you know he’s not being serious.

Serious or not, you can’t understand how he still has the mental bandwidth to be teasing you.

He moves faster now, pounding into you, the sounds of your wetness filling the locker room. Your clit makes contact with coarse hairs above his cock, sending your hurtling towards your climax.

"Fuck, I’m close," you whisper, feeling the familiar growing tension in your core.

“Atta girl, are you gonna come for me sweetheart?” He coos, his gentle tone a complete contrast to his harsh thrusts.

“Joel, please,” you don’t even know what you’re begging for and before you can figure it out, you feel a wave of warmth crash over you as you orgasm, your body trembling as you buck and writhe underneath him.

“It’s okay, you’re okay sweet girl,” Joel holds you firm against the bench as you attempt to squirm away from the now overstimulating thrusts as he continues to fuck you.

Joel's pace quickens, his hips slapping against your skin with each deep thrust. With one hand on your hip, he uses the other to reach down and rub your clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your entire being. Your muscles clench around his cock as his own release nears.

"I’m gettin’ close," he growls, his voice thick with lust. "Where do you want it, sweetheart?”

You're breathless, sweat dripping down your skin as Joel thrusts into you, his words sending a fresh wave of arousal through you.

"Inside," you gasp, your eyes locked on his as he comes closer to the edge.

Joel adjusts his grip and with a few powerful thrusts, he slams deep inside of you, and you feel the explosion of his release like a firework going off, the sensation making your eyes roll back in pleasure.

"Oh fuck, Joel," you cry out, your own climax crashing over you again, making your limbs shake uncontrollably and your nails dig into his shoulders.

Eyes closed, he leans his forehead against yours as he continues to hold himself inside you, his cock twitching from his spent orgasm. When he pulls away you collapse into a boneless heap on the bench, and when he eyes your exhausted form you can tell his ego is growing every second you remain motionless. 

You know you should get dressed before the cum begins to pool on the bench, or run down your legs, but you find yourself with a lack of motivation.  You are quickly realizing your decision had not been a good one, as you now had to drive home with cum soaked panties. From Joel’s raised eyebrows he appeared to be having the same thought. 

"You alright there?" Joel's voice carries a teasing lilt as he watches you flop around the bench.

You shoot him a playful glare, pulling your shorts back on. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever enjoyed cardio.”

"I think you have to be moving for it to be cardio, darlin’,” he chuckles, a smirk playing on his lips, “and all I saw you do was lay there and take it."

“I’ll have you know it’s a lot more tiring than it sounds,” you launch his shirt at his head in mock indignation. 

He catches the balled-up t-shirt with a laugh, his eyes sparkling with amusement, “Whatever you say sweetheart.”

He pulls the shirt on before his expression shifts, his usual playful demeanor softening into something more earnest. As you pull your bra back on and glance back at him, you notice a hint of bashfulness in his eyes. 

“Wha-”

“I-”

“You first,” you decide, staring expectantly at the man in front of you who almost appears to be blushing. 

“I know this is kinda backwards,” he runs his fingers through his hair, “but, could I take ya to dinner sometime?”

You almost began to laugh at the realization his strange change in demeanor was just because he was scared to ask you out. The man could fuck you within an inch of your life in a public locker room, but asking you on a date was what made him nervous. 

You quickly stifle your laugh when you see his face drop at your reaction, “Fuck Joel, of course I  want to get dinner with you.”

His expression brightens instantly, a smile spreading across his face. “Really?” he asks, almost sounding incredulous.

“Yeah, really,” you confirm, feeling a warmth spreading in your chest at his genuine enthusiasm.

Joel reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, quickly unlocking it. “Could I get your number?” he asks, holding the phone out to you, “if you’re comfortable with that.”

“Definitely,” you say, taking the phone and typing in your digits before handing it back to him.

“Great,” he says, grinning as he saves your contact. “I’ll text you later then?”

“I’ll be waiting,” you reply, smiling back.

With that settled, the two of you gather your belongings and walk out of the locker room together. You are pretty sure nobody else was in there while you were fucking, but you can’t help but feel that everyone in the gym knows you just fucked this man you had met maybe 30 minutes ago. You look at Joel and he seems completely at ease so you try to channel his confidence as you walk through the gym and out the front doors. You step out into the fresh air and share one last smile with the man before you walk to your respective cars, both looking forward to getting to know each other outside of the confines of Rock Hard Fitness. Really, with a name like that, what other outcome could you have expected?

[crepes-suzette-373]

Japanese fans are pointing out that Sanji calling Zoro a deadweight/burden in the latest chapter is very concerning. It sounded arrogant, and said that it's indication that his Germa mode is manifesting even when his brows are not flipped.

They've been on sus alert since Sanji called Vegapunk "insolent" last year:

In the exact same chapter you see S-Snake saying the same word 無礼者 ("insolent person"). If Sanji is talking like Hancock it's certainly super weird. 無礼 is not just rude. It kind of has this implication of "being rude to your superior".

Even though Sanji do sometimes says flowery words, this is being detected as unusual.

We've seen his brows flipping twice in just one day, and there were also other disconcerting comments from him (saying that Zoro might die before they find One Piece, saying death penalty to S-Shark before his brow flips), it's just really suspect.

Looks like trouble is really incoming...?

Edit: The "death penalty" line may or may not just be a tasteless joke. I won't jump into conclusions until further notice. See here comparison with another manga where it's just a drunk guy rambling, so it might be an out of touch "boomer joke".

[eternalera]

I'm making an analysis of this scene because fuck it, it means sm to me

so basically the scene im talking about is the one above and why (because fuck you l like adam and lute) it means so much to me

first off when do we actually see adam smile and im not talking about when he's being an asshole to charlie or making some unfunny sex joke. I'm talking about when he looks genuine.

Like he looks actually happy, not entertained but happy because thats what it is with charlie. He's smiling because he's entertained with her reactions and how pissed he's making her.

Whenever we see him smile it has this almost evil feel to it (whether that be with the teeth in the mask that he wears or not although it probably is... i'll get to that later). It feels like he's meant to be the villain. He's meant to be someone you're meant to hate. So why in this scene does it make you feel bad for him and lute? (almost depending on the person cause yes i know some of you jumped up with joy at this, i aint judging)

it makes you feel bad because there's something human in this scene whether we like it or not. that also comes with the removal of their masks. we've never seen adam without his mask so him losing it in this scene provides us with the sense that 'hey hes still human' he's not some eldritch being sent from hell/heaven. he's a guy.

this also comes with the removal of lutes mask. we see her genuine emotion. we actually see her being to cry something that honestly seems almost out of character for her seeing as she's pretty much that one character whos like 'fuck it lets power through this'

this also is similar to adam smiling cause it shows you that in the end he wasn't a total asshole.

but back to the masks. the masks make them have pretty sharp looking teeth which is something that we associate with sharks or some sort of predator. yet removing the teeth (actually adam doesnt even smile with his teeth) you suddenly get a lot more of a human feeling

they dont feel like a villain anymore (even though thats what they are) they feel like a person. it doesnt make him feel like a threat anymore so you have an actual ability to feel bad for him.

but moving on (i ramble a lot so this may not stay on track but its fine :D ).

our last scene of adam in this entire show (im pretty sure like yknow... direct scene) is him smiling. him showing genuine human emotion. because whether or not you guys wanna admit it adam was the first human, and he does have feelings that pertain to humans. so why have this be our last view of him? of him being quite literally beaten down.

well personally i feel like this is because the show wants us to see him as lute sees him. she saw him (as from what ive gathered) as a genuine friend. she actually liked his company and liked hanging around him.

so this pushes her idea and avenging adam or getting revenge for his death. if we didnt have this scene her just getting upset at lilith and taking charge randomly and getting just randomly mad at the hotel would be kinda... eh.

like it wouldnt make for that good of a story.

but with our last moments of adam being him smiling at lute it shows us basically something else. that he cared, for what? we dont really know but he cared for something because its clear that the extermination failed and adams dying. hes fucking dying something he seemed so upset over two seconds ago screaming and shouting how he shouldnt die or whatever

so its most likely that he cared for lute making this scene all the much sadder. besides its the only thing we can assume seeing that lute was the last thing that he saw before passing on.

also ive seen theories that make a lot of sense with lute being the only one who stuck it out with adam till the end. lilith left him, eve was created from his fucking rib and yet she most likely left him. so he probably died pretty damn along the first time around

so lute being there for him and showing that she cared for him and that she still cares for him probably meant a lot. most likely because she stuck around until his death, she stuck around till the end which once again, he died alone the first time and dying with someone with you the second probably means a lot

anywaysssss yeah thats it byeeee