#i just hope that it gets some stuff into words that others have been feeling without just saying 'homestuck bad'
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distantdarlings · 3 days ago
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SORE LOSER // t. nott
RATING: R / 3.6K WORDS
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Theodore Nott x Gender Neutral Reader Insert
+ SUMMARY - *Requested - based on this* After tossing and turning for hours, you decided to take advantage of one of your Prefect privileges, which is the gorgeous Prefect’s bathroom. It seems, though, that someone else had the exact same idea.
+ WARNINGS - SMUT! (P in gn!Reader), gender neutral reader, fingering (gn!receiving), slight voyeurism, Dom!Theo, Sub!Reader, sex in bath, spanking, Theo is slightly rough, language, not fully proof-read. (Lmk if I missed any!)
+ MUSIC (listened to while writing) -
ME&U - Zeke Bleu, Midnight Moon.
- - -
Between the day you had and the evening you’d failed to make relaxing for yourself, you would have assumed you’d be ready to pass out. But for some reason, you could not fall asleep.
You weren’t sure how long you’d been lying here, tossing and turning amongst the golden silk sheets, but you knew it had to have been a while.
The quiet breathing of your dorm mates beyond the canopy curtains, had slowly transformed into calculated, deep inhales and little snores. You knew that you were the only one left awake, and for some reason that made you feel even less confident you’d ever get to sleep, simply because of how focused you currently were on the little sounds they made.
The whole room was too quiet and the cold stone walls seemed to amplify every single breath that was taken in and bed spring that creaked. It was maddening.
You rolled to your left side and shut your eyes, the change in position was comfortable and gave you a bit of hope until the student to your right let out an echoing snort and a few nonsensical murmurs.
At that moment, you huffed and yanked your duvet back, feeling the cold air scrape along your exposed skin. You pulled the canopy curtains aside and let your feet hang over the bed. With a whispered summoning charm, your slippers whizzed to your feet. You stood and made your way to the foot of your bed.
Your shaking fingers gripped the heavy lip of your clothing trunk. The old wood creaked against its hinges as you slowly eased it open, wincing at the interrupting sound.
Hopefully, it wasn’t loud enough to wake any of your dorm mates. You plucked your soft robe off of the hook fixed to one of the bed’s posts and slipped it over your shoulders.
Quickly, you selected a change of clothes, toiletries, and a towel, before easing the trunk lid back down.
You shuffled over to the dormitory entrance and slipped through the heavy door. You supposed if anything would make you sleepy, it’d be a nice, warm bath. If that didn’t do it, you may resort to knocking yourself out.
Once outside the dorm, you readjusted everything stacked in your arms and held your breath. A second passed before your body felt as if it was sucked into a tube.
Whooshing sounds echoed all around you, and your arms struggled to keep all of your supplies clutched together. Just as it felt as though you were about to drop your things, your feet landed on solid stone ground. Your legs wobbled just slightly as you gathered your bearings, recognizing the gorgeous stained glass shimmers that belonged to the Prefect’s bathroom.
As your eyes adjusted to the change in lighting, you noticed that the grand pool had already been filled to the brim with steaming, bubbly water. With a sigh, you smiled and set your stuff down one one of the benches lining the water.
It never failed that the castle read your mind and prepared exactly what you wanted. You had previously thought that the only part of the castle that could read one’s mind was the Room of Requirement, but you soon discovered other areas of the castle could also do it.
With a deep sigh, you worked the knot of your robe loose and let the heavy material slide off your arms. It hit the floor with a muffled thump. Next, you tugged the old tee shirt over your head. The cold air swirled around your exposed breasts, coaxing your nipples up and forward.
You slipped your bottoms down your legs. Colored moonlight shone across your thighs and hands.
Just as your bottoms hit your ankles, you stepped out of your slippers and the thin fabric puddled atop them.
Even though you could wash them, the thought of your underwear touching the bare bathroom floor was too much for you to handle. You stifled a gag at the thought.
Turning, you slipped strands of hair behind your ears and walked to the edge of the pool. The tile was cold and biting beneath your feet, but the water was warm and inviting. Even from the rim, you could feel its heat radiating up.
Settling a toe into the water, you could feel the heat spread across your feet and up. Chills erupted along your whole body as the warmth combated against your cold skin.
You sank the rest of your body down the stairs, each inch submerging more of your aching muscles.
Once you settled all the way down, and sat on the edge of the tile that jutted out near your hips, you closed your eyes. The warm water ringed around your neck, soothing every bit of your body.
You couldn’t help but let a slight moan slip between your lips as your skin heated up.
You could already feel the pain and insomnia alleviating.
Your fingers wiggled aimlessly in the black emptiness, their weightlessness easing your mind. If you picked your feet up, the pool was just deep enough that you’d float.
A thought passed briefly before your eye. You gasped and opened your eyes.
For a moment, it felt as though someone might be here. The feeling creeped up your spine and niggled in the base of your skull.
You glanced around, the tips of your damp hair gliding across your neck. The light from the grand windows was just enough to cast glares across your eyes as it reflected off the water. It was near impossible for you to see anything at the opposite end of the pool clearly. It all just seemed to disappear into the dark.
Trying to ignore the feeling, you murmured a locking spell, hearing the door’s lock clunk into place. If someone had been in here, you would not have been able to just walk in. They would have locked it. Surely.
You shook those thoughts away and turned to reach for your things laid out across the bench. You selected some hair oil and body wash—the same you’d used since you were a child—and set them just at the edge of the pool.
The water splashed gently as you wet your hair and face. The only sound was the soft pattering of the water and your breathing.
As you lathered the oils into your hair, your eyes shut and you thought of the stressors that had thrown themselves at you earlier today.
Not only had you spilled your tea all over your bottoms (and were late to class because of it), you’d actually gotten something wrong in your class today. And that wasn’t even the most frustrating part of it. Everybody got things wrong in class from time to time, but no one had ever gotten a fact wrong in the middle of a debate with the only asshole in Hogwarts that had ever managed to upstage you. And to make matters even worse, it was a debate on Astrological matters, which was your best fucking class.
It was humiliating. You could still see the way that bloody Theodore Nott had smirked when he realized you’d misspoken. He knew he’d gotten you cornered, and you’d known you were screwed.
How pathetic.
You rinsed your soapy hair out, wringing the excess bubbles from the strands and watching them pool around you in the water.
“I haven’t gotten a show like this in a while—”
A scream left you as shock splattered across your body. You turned anxiously, trying to find the source of the voice, while simultaneously trying to cover your naked body.
Finally, your eyes landed on a figure in the darkness, hidden by the rays from the window.
“Who’s there?” you demanded, covering your body beneath the water.
Then he walked into the light and you recognized the very boy you were trying to ignore. Theodore Nott.
Your eyes betrayed your mind and glanced down, tracing the tight muscles that ran along his entire body. Quidditch would do that to a boy, you supposed.
“Hey, Hufflepuff,” he whispered, edging closer.
“No, Nott,” you said, holding a finger out. “You stay back… Cover your eyes and I’ll get out and leave.”
He was now standing a few feet from you. You could see the details in his unfortunately gorgeous face. A deep smirk was drawn across his lips. The light behind him illuminated him like a god. You swallowed nervously.
“What if I don’t want to cover my eyes? Or want you to leave?” he asked, cocking his head to the slide slightly.
With every word, he slid slowly closer, the soapy water trailed over his naked stomach. Even at your full height, the water consumed most of your chest. You hadn’t remembered him being this tall.
He stopped just before you, your head directed upwards just to look him in the eye. The moonlight carved into one of your eyes, painting your skin in reds and greens and blues.
One of his fingers slowly came up to trace the lines of the patterns the stained glass cast on your cheek. Then you were stepping back away from him.
“Uh, Nott, that’s not a good idea,” you shuddered, looking away from him. You pulled some of the bubbles closer to your chest to conceal yourself.
Standing naked in a relatively small body of water with your notorious academic rival wasn’t exactly the greatest idea. The thought of his hands being so close to your exposed body was making you nervous.
He was gorgeous—that much was obvious. Given the chance, you’d likely sleep with him but—
Given the chance, you’d likely sleep with him. Was this your chance? Merlin, you were pathetic.
“Why not? Call me Theo, by the way,” he said, walking back over to you.
“Erm, alright, Theo…this isn’t a good idea.”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
“Well…,” you started. You couldn’t lie—it was hard to think of a reason why the two of you couldn’t do something, besides the whole rival thing. “Because you’re a Slytherin.”
You almost rolled your eyes at what you’d blurted out. Because you’re a Slytherin. What, were you five years old? You refrained from slapping a hand to your face.
He chuckled a bit and placed an arm to the right of your head, caging you against the wall of the pool even more. Your hands shook beneath the water.
“Because I’m a Slytherin? Isn’t that a reason to want to fuck me?”
Heat shot to your abdomen, but it wasn’t from the water surrounding the two of you.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” you laughed nervously. His other arm went beside the left side of your head. He had now completely caged you in.
You could hardly believe how he was behaving. You didn’t think he’d even noticed except when you were in the middle of one of your heated class debates.
Then, he not only noticed you, but he saw you as well. His eyes looked through you and into you. His lips formed every word so perfectly as he pushed and fought for the win, and, damn it, if it wasn’t one of the sexiest things you’d ever seen.
Those debates always had you panting and with your hands between your legs. All except for today. You’d never lost before.
You win every time, you feel the tension between his desperation to overcome you, you fuck yourself beneath your sheets. You lose, he feels the tension, he fucks you? Was that how this worked?
“Come on, Hufflepuff,” he whispered, face so close to yours. “You know you want to. I know you feel it when we debate. The way your eyes always flicker down to my lips, the way your cheeks flush. That’s not just nerves from a debate. No…” He leaned down beside your cheek, lips gently caressing your ear. “It’s lust.”
He pulled back and watched the changes in your eyes. Fear was keeping you from slamming your lips into his, but desire was urging you to take him right there. You were frozen.
The back of his index finger stroked the outside of your arm. It traced slowly up the curve of your elbow, then your bicep, then your shoulder. It stopped when he reached your collarbone.
At that point, his hand turned and pressed its palm between your clavicles. His hand was so large, the tips of his finger spanned up to the top of your throat.
The heat from his skin was ten-thousand times hotter than the water. Your eyes fluttered.
“Say you want it,” he whispered. Your eyes opened again.
Could you even say yes to this? After years of pining after him, would there even be a point? A quick fuck and then the two of you never talked again? That didn’t sound good to you.
Still, the pulsing between your thighs was almost too much to bear. Between the light cutting across your skin, the hot water, and his skin on yours, you found it impossible to even move your lips enough to form words.
Desperate for more of him, you ignored all of your doubts and nodded your head.
Without another moment, the hand on your chest cupped your jawline and pulled your lips to his.
His lips were hot and wanting—angry, almost. His tongue pried your lips open with a cruelty that was unmatched. Your shaking fingers lingered on the edge of his naked chest as he kissed you open. You wanted so badly to touch him, but—
You gasped. His hands roughly grabbed yours and pressed them flat against his chest. He must have sensed your hesitation to touch him.
He pressed your body even farther against the edge of the pool as his lips detached from yours and attached to your neck.
You’re gasping and your stomach is broiling and heat is building between your legs and everything in you feels like it’s engorging.
With a gained moment of confidence, your fingers rose to curl in his damp hair. Your fingernails scraped gently over his scalp, to which he replied with a sighing moan against your skin. His hot breath blown against you made chills erupt down your arms.
His fingertips traced down your sides, eliciting flames with their trail. You shuddered beneath his body which controlled your every move.
Once they’d reached the top of your thighs, he pulled away from your neck and placed his forehead against yours. Panting against your lips, his body smelled lightly of his toothpaste and the heat between the two of you.
“Can I?” he breathed.
“C-can you what?” you stuttered, fingers holding onto his shoulders like a vice. The water was warm around you.
“Can I fuck you?” He didn’t linger on the question. He just asked. His confidence was like a drug. His nose brushed yours as his fingers slipped toward the inside of your thigh, teasing farther and farther, until you let out a stifled whimper and nodded your head frantically.
Then he was sinking his hand between your wet thighs and grasping you within his palms. You gasped beneath the pressure of his large hand. The pure size of him covered the entirety of your core far better than yours ever could.
The amount of nights you’d spent imagining this happening with Theo was lengthy, but you’d never imagined how much bigger he truly was.
Your eyes clenched tightly at the sensation. Your lips mouthed his name silently, your fingers scraped down his back. He groaned against your lips at the sensation, the pain urging him on.
“Turn around,” he demanded. He released your sex and grasped your waist roughly.
The speed with which he turned you around and leaned you over the rim of the pool had your head spinning. The cold tile pressed against your bare chest and stomach, the shocking sensation blurring your eyes.
The edge of the pool bit into your hip bones as he raised your ass out of the water and balanced you against it.
You placed your hands down to try and rearrange yourself when Theo grabbed them and pulled them behind you. They were held tightly against your tailbone, clutched meanly in just one of his hands.
You groaned at the sensation, the tile rubbing against your sensitive nipples and core. Fuck. Between the heat of the water still covering your legs and the freezing tile, your heart was racing.
“You’d better be loud for me, baby,” Theo said, free hand tracing down the line of your ass. “Want all of the school to hear who’s fucking you so well, okay?”
One finger breached your entrance suddenly, the sudden feeling causing your body to jolt forward away from the boy behind you.
“Fuck, Theo,” you moaned.
“That’s it, baby,” he growled. “Let me hear you.”
He worked you open gently, surprisingly letting you adjust to every inch of his lengthy finger before he added a second, then a third finger.
Once he felt you were stretched enough, he hummed approvingly.
“Breathe for me, darling,” he whispered. “Gonna hurt just a little bit…”
Then he was pressing himself against your entrance as anticipation swirled in your stomach. Your cheek pressed against the cold bathroom tile.
When he pushed into you, your fists clenched so tightly, your fingernails bit sharply into your palms. You were sure blood was pooling across your fingers.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re so fucking tight. You ever been stretched like this?”
You moaned loudly as he slowly worked himself out, then pressed himself back into you. Every inch of his length was tracing every inch of your insides, claiming your body as his.
His free hand came down hard against your ass. You yelped loudly at the sensation, the sound echoing throughout the bathroom.
“Answer my fucking question,” he demanded, hand around your wrists squeezing tighter.
“No! No…never,” you moaned louder.
“All those fucking debates,” he growled, beginning to pound into you harder. “Always giving me that fucking smirk when you win. It got to the point where I wanted you to win so you would give me that smirk and turn to the rest of the class and bow. I could always get the perfect view of your ass. Merlin, I wanted to bend you over the fucking desk and show everyone what a bitch you are.”
You groaned at his filthy words.
“You may have won those fucking debates, but I’ve won this fucking body. You’re mine.”
“Theo,” you whined shamelessly, your finish building up rapidly within your lower stomach. Your shoulders were beginning to cramp from where Theo was holding you so tightly.
“Yeah, baby? That feel good?” he teased. “Always wanted to make you feel…so…good…”
Every last word was punctuated by a particularly sharp thrust.
The sloshing of the water between the two of you splashed up around your hips, coating you in its warmth. Every sensation was building and beginning to become too much.
It wasn’t long before your hands were clenching again and your hips started to shift. You were so close and Theo knew it.
“Fuck, I can feel you tightening around me,” he groaned. His voice was cracking slightly with every few words. His fucked out rasp echoed off the walls, traveling around and crashing into your ears.
The sound alone was enough to push you over the edge, but the hot stripe that he leaned down and licked along the length of your back finished you.
You came hard. Your stomach clenched as your eyes rolled upwards.
Your orgasm slipped into the water between the two of you.
The sensation of your finish clenching around Theo had his thrusts becoming more desperate and disorganized. He only lasted a few more strokes before he was cumming shamelessly inside of you.
He released your arms and laid across your back, groaning deeply as he finished himself off, pulling himself out and then pushing back in. He pumped you full of his cum a few more times until the sticky sensation was rippling overstimulation through him.
“Fuck, that was perfect,” he groaned against your wet spine. He placed an open-mouthed kiss against your flesh there, his tongue curling against you.
You moaned sleepily, only half-present as he pulled himself off of you. He helped you slide comfortably off the edge of the pool and settle your cold top half into the warm water.
You sighed comfortably and looked up at him.
“I had no idea you were such a sore loser,” you teased.
He smirked, a small chuckle coming from between his lips. He leaned across you and selected your hair oil from where it still stood on the tile, long forgotten about.
He poured a bit into his hands before turning back to your tired body. His fingers slid against your scalp, lathering the product into your dampened strands. Fuck, his fingers weren’t just good inside of you… Your eyes slipped shut as he washed your hair so gently.
His lips pressed softly against the shell of your ear. “The only one around here who’s going to be sore is you, baby.”
- - -
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logansargeantsbabymom · 2 days ago
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Just A Prank
Franco Colapinto x Fem!reader
minor angst and a lot of fluff
Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!
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F1 and 2 Masterlist
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The day began like any other. You and Franco had both slept in, rare and cherished moments of rest squeezed between the constant hum of his career as a Formula 2 driver. Lately, every moment together felt extra special—his season was nearing its end, and with it, the uncertainty of what would come next loomed ever closer.
That morning, you both lounged on the sofa, Franco’s head resting comfortably in your lap as you absentmindedly ran your fingers through his messy dark hair. You could feel the quiet rhythm of his breathing, the warmth of his body leaning into yours. He seemed unusually relaxed, but you could also sense an underlying tension—like he was holding something back.
“Do you want to go out for a walk later?” you asked, trying to pull him out of his pensive silence.
Franco looked up at you, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “I’d rather stay like this for a bit longer,” he murmured, leaning up to steal a kiss. “Besides, who knows when I’ll get the chance to do this again.”
“Franco, don’t be so dramatic,” you chuckled, but his words stirred something inside you. You both knew the competitive nature of racing, the constant push to perform, and the slim chances of moving up to Formula 1. He’d been hoping, of course, but you could feel the weight of the uncertainty. It had been pressing on both of you, silent and unspoken.
As the day wore on, you found yourself nestled in the little routines that made life with Franco feel so complete: cooking breakfast together, debating which show to watch, laughing over silly inside jokes only the two of you understood. The hours passed, and you found comfort in his presence, a sense of home you never thought you’d find so soon in life.
Then, in the early afternoon, Franco’s phone rang. The sharp sound cut through the quiet, and he tensed immediately.
“Hold on, amor,” he said softly, his brow furrowing as he glanced at the screen. “It’s my boss… I need to take this.”
You watched him slip into the next room, closing the door behind him as he answered. You felt your heart rate pick up, your mind running through a million scenarios. You knew he’d been anxiously awaiting some news about next season, but he hadn’t said much—always downplaying it, always acting like it was no big deal. Yet you could tell it mattered to him more than he let on.
Minutes ticked by, each one dragging longer than the last. You strained to hear snippets of his voice, but it was muffled behind the door. Your stomach churned with nerves, and you hugged a pillow to your chest, wondering what could possibly be taking so long.
Finally, he emerged, his face unreadable. You searched his expression, looking for any hint of what he’d heard, but he just sighed, walking toward you with a faint smile.
“So…” he said, plopping down beside you, trying to look nonchalant. “Looks like next season… they’re, uh, bringing someone else in to replace me.”
The words landed like a stone in your chest. “What?” you whispered, wide-eyed with disbelief. “Franco, no—there’s no way! You’ve been amazing this season! Who would they possibly bring in that’s better than you?”
He shrugged, looking away, his face somber. “Apparently they want a different direction or something.”
Anger bubbled up inside you, your face heating as you struggled to keep your composure. “I’m sorry, but that’s insane. You’ve worked so hard, Franco. You don’t deserve this! It’s not fair!”
Franco bit his lip, struggling to contain a grin. You were too furious to notice.
“I’ll call them,” you continued, clenching your fists. “I’ll go down to the paddock myself if I have to and demand answers. They don’t realize what they’re giving up.”
“Y/N,” Franco interrupted softly, his voice trembling slightly with laughter, “it’s a joke.”
You froze, trying to process his words. “A… a joke?” you repeated, blinking in confusion.
He laughed, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you into his embrace, his whole body shaking with laughter. “Yes, cariño, a joke! They didn’t replace me. They actually… called me up. I’m going to F1.”
For a second, you couldn’t speak. Relief and shock hit you in equal measure, a tidal wave of emotions threatening to spill over. You blinked, your mind racing to catch up. “Wait, Franco, are you serious?”
He nodded, his eyes shining with excitement, a look you’d never seen before. “I am. I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I knew for sure. But yes… I’m moving up to Formula 1.”
“Franco!” you gasped, grabbing his face in your hands as the reality of it set in. Pride, love, and pure joy swelled in your heart, and you leaned in, pressing a fierce, grateful kiss to his lips. “I’m so, so proud of you.”
He grinned, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. “So… do you still want to go to that fancy dinner? I think I could use a celebration.”
You didn’t need any more convincing. After changing into something special for the occasion, you spent the rest of the evening out together, every laugh and glance shared over the candlelit table a reminder of the journey you’d both been on together, and the exciting path that lay ahead. It felt surreal, like a dream you both dared not wake up from.
The restaurant was perfect—a quiet, candlelit spot with a warm ambiance, the kind of place where you felt like the world outside melted away. It was just you and Franco, tucked into a cozy booth with glasses of deep red wine glinting in the soft light. You both had eyes only for each other.
As you sat down, Franco took your hand, his fingers warm and familiar as they laced through yours. He began tracing soft, invisible circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, a simple gesture that sent gentle shivers up your spine. You caught yourself smiling, wondering if he realized just how much these little touches meant to you.
“Who are you most excited to see on the grid?” you asked, playfully narrowing your eyes at him. You knew he had a few favorite drivers, people he looked up to and couldn’t wait to work alongside. The mere thought of him among the ranks of those he admired filled you with pride.
“Ah, I can’t lie,” he said with a grin, leaning closer. “It has to be Alonso. To think that I’ll be racing alongside him… It still doesn’t feel real. And Verstappen, too—I’ve watched them since I was a kid, you know? To be up there with them, fighting for positions on the same track…” He shook his head, a little awestruck, and you could see the light in his eyes, that spark of a dream coming true.
You squeezed his hand, feeling his excitement wash over you like a wave. “It’s everything you’ve worked for, Franco. And you deserve it more than anyone.”
He gave you a bashful smile, a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. “I’d never have made it here without you, Y/N. You’re my biggest supporter, and that means the world to me.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” you murmured, brushing his cheek softly. “It’s just… I’m so happy to see you finally getting what you’ve dreamed of. It’s going to be incredible, Franco.”
The two of you settled into an easy rhythm of talking about the future—where he’d be traveling, who he’d meet, the circuits he was most excited to race on. He laughed as he recounted stories of watching past races as a kid, how he’d imagined himself on those tracks, feeling every turn and straight as if he was already there.
“To celebrate,” he began, leaning back with a mischievous smile, “we should travel somewhere just for us. No circuits, no media. Just the two of us, like old times.”
Your eyes lit up. “Like a real holiday?”
He nodded. “Exactly. We could go somewhere quiet, off the grid. A beach, maybe. Just us, some sunshine, no worries.”
“Let’s do it,” you said, a smile spreading across your face. “After your first race, we’ll sneak away and have our own little victory tour.”
Franco laughed, shaking his head. “It’s a date, then.” He raised his glass in a toast, and you clinked yours against his, both of you laughing, a gentle warmth in the air as the wine brought out the color in his cheeks.
As he sipped, he looked at you thoughtfully. “What about you, Y/N? This is going to be a huge change. Are you ready for all the travel, the media, the madness?”
You felt his fingers lace through yours a little tighter, a look of genuine concern crossing his face. You took a breath, holding his gaze. “Franco, I’ll follow you anywhere. This is your dream, and I want to be there to support you every step of the way. I’ll be right there, cheering you on, reminding you to eat, helping you decompress after every race. Whatever you need.”
For a moment, he just looked at you, his face softening, his eyes full of that love that had been there from the beginning. “I’m the luckiest guy alive, you know that?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but your voice caught as you noticed something over his shoulder. At a table just across the room, seated side by side with familiar expressions of pride and warmth, were your parents. They were dressed for the occasion, looking right at you with knowing smiles, raising their glasses in your direction.
“Wait… are those… my parents?” you whispered, glancing back at Franco, utterly bewildered. “What are they doing here?”
But when you turned back to him, Franco was no longer in his seat. Instead, he was down on one knee beside you, his warm hand still holding yours. In his other hand, he held a small, velvet ring box, his face a mixture of nervousness and undeniable love.
“Y/N,” he began, his voice soft yet steady. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were something special. You’re my best friend, my rock, and the reason I’ve been able to dream as big as I have. I can’t imagine facing any of life’s twists and turns without you by my side. I want to spend every lap of this life with you. Will you marry me?”
Tears welled up in your eyes, the enormity of the moment crashing over you. You could feel the warmth of his hand still holding yours, the love in his gaze steady and unwavering. You could only nod, whispering, “Yes, Franco. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
The restaurant broke into applause as he slid the ring onto your finger. He rose to his feet, pulling you close, and you laughed through your tears, burying your face in his shoulder as the joy of it all overflowed. It felt as though time had stopped, as though the two of you were the only people in the room.
When you pulled back, your parents were there, wrapping you in hugs, congratulating you both. You looked back at Franco, his eyes never leaving yours, that same quiet joy radiating from him.
In that moment, you knew that no matter where this life took you, every twist and turn would be worth it because you’d be facing them together.
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ittybittyfanblog · 2 days ago
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition)
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Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus (+ maybe the other MLs!) and an oblivious player. That’s it, that’s the plot. Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, maybe some suggestive language?? will add more tags as the story progresses A/N: This is gonna be a multi-chapter fic! I’m still not sure whether to do the boys in rotation, or just focus on one ML per series. Don’t take my word for it atp tho – I’m not even sure if I can actually finish a series lol.  Also, I’ve had the creative liberty of changing stuff from the actual gameplay here and there. (Except for the self-awareness. That’s most definitely real.) Hope you enjoy~!
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Chapter 1
It’s a quarter past eight and you’re still on your desk working overtime on a Friday night. 
You let out a big sigh, leaning back on your office chair after an unhealthy duration of bad posture from hours of slouching down in front of your computer. There’s nothing ergonomic about the way this job is killing you, and the ache in your lower back can attest to that. 
An irate orange tabby plops himself in front of you, blocking your view of the glaring screen and you figure that it’s time for a break. 
“Me-oow.”
“I know, I know,” You answer tiredly, standing up to dodge a stray paw clawing your way and you hear cracks in three different places that are honestly unbecoming of a woman your age. You haven’t even reached thirty yet, for god’s sake. “I’m a bad mother. But mom also had to skip dinner to make it to the seven PM meeting, so cut me some slack, okay?” 
A high-pitched “meooowr!” is the only response you get; it seems like there’s no excusing late dinner time this time around. 
As much as you’d like to hem and haw and complain, the main reason why you’re still keeping this job is because you can work remotely. If it weren’t for the fact that you’re stuck most days at home working hours past your regular nine to five, having to be on-call around the clock at all times, and that you’ve consumed more sodium than a nitrite victim with the way you live off cup ramen, then, really, it beats working in an office where you’d physically have to clock in and out from exactly nine to five. 
Your right eye twitches. No, I have not fallen in love with the system that exploits me, thank you very much. 
“Here is your Fancy Feast, your highness,” you tell the hungry feline who’s already ignoring the hand that feeds for the bowl full of white fish paté. He eats healthier than you, sure, but you work like this for him to eat like this. The life of a single mom is an uphill battle, but extremely rewarding. 
You raise your hand to pat your son’s head lovingly, aborting the gesture halfway when you hear a warning growl. Alright, tough crowd. 
After nuking a half-eaten takeout box in the microwave and grabbing a cold Bundaberg from the fridge, you hunker down on the “chaise lounge” (see: an old wingback and a rattan ottoman you’ve refurbished as a makeshift seat a few weeks back when you had guests over) for a late meal. 
You barely register the taste of lukewarm rice on your tongue, mouth moving mechanically while your mind runs on autopilot about everything and nothing at the same time. 
Maybe it’s time to check Jobstreet again
Is there like a laundromat near the area that’s open twenty four seven
Eugh, I hate cold peas
What do we feel about Chromakopia? 
I will… die alone
I really need to stock on some fresh produce this weekend–
Ping! 
A notification from your phone pulls you out of your thoughts – and like a well-trained dog pavlov’d into responding, you visibly perk up at the sight of your lock screen lighting up and the familiar banner you’ve already memorized by heart. 
Your Galaxy Explorer rewards are here. Did you put my hotel’s address as the shipping address? 
Ah, just like clockwork. 
You press on it with a quiet, bubbling anticipation, chewing on the plastic spork as you wait impatiently for the silly mobile game that’s been your short respite at intervals – for more than you’d care to admit – to boot up. 
Offhandedly, you wish that the devs would add more variations to the game’s push notifications; more random, personalized stuff like maybe a reminder to drink water, or a fun update about their day. What you’d give – pay – for a: "Less on the overtime, kitten. I miss you,” dialogue from a certain character, but you digress. 
Oh, well. Probably better this way, lest you dig yourself deeper into delusion. 
The game greets you with the usual picturesque view of a silver-haired man sitting cross-legged on a chair, looking all the bit at ease in his signature crimson and white button up. The warm ambience of the Destiny Café at night draws you in, already pulling your attention away from the never-ending stream of thoughts in your brain. 
“Before seeing you, I thought today would be another dull day,“ Sylus comments airily. The way he drawls out the words in that deep timbre of his voice never fails to make your heart flutter – just a teeeensy bit.
“Ever the charmer,” you sigh happily in return, situating yourself more comfortably on the sofa, almost horizontal from how far you’re leaning back on the cushion. “You’re looking awfully normal tonight. What, no pineapple glasses for your favorite girl?” 
Having bypassed the initial cringe of talking to yourself after literal months of gameplay, it almost comes off natural, the banter. You’ve already accepted the fact that you’re crazy about a fictional, pixelated man – what’s pretending to have actual conversations with him gonna do? It’s not as if he actually hears you yap your nonsense; there are worse things in the world than a parasocial attachment to an otome game character. 
Your little jab at the sometimes random addition to his choice of attire earns you a laugh from the man itself– or at least it looks as though it does, making you blink momentarily in surprise. Happy coincidence, I guess.
You shake your head, cracking a smile, then proceed to do the routine of completing the daily agenda and then some. 
It’s tedious business, sure. You’ve dedicated hours upon hours on this game and you’re honestly starting to feel pretty bored with some of the gameplay elements, but you *do* like the ritualistic nature of ticking off the tasks one by one. It’s almost ironic – the way you dutifully do one thing after the other in this game, just to avoid the pile of work that’s waiting for you in real life. 
It’s not as if anything, or anyone’s relying on you to do your daily log-ins, so you suppose it’s due to that lack of pressure as well. 
Pulling yourself away from the five-star Xavier memory card you’ve grinded to level seventy, you stare despondently at the sad little 2 on your remaining energy. The embarrassing amount of materials you lack to ascend the card seem to mock you, even as you exit the Memories window. Another goal for another day, perhaps.
All tasks on the daily agenda are complete, except for one that you’ve always saved for last.
You’re met with a standing Sylus on the game’s home screen, arms crossed and wearing an expression you’d almost describe as impatient, if you didn’t know any better. The sight makes you grin. 
Cheekily, you poke his crotch.
You’re looking forward to getting a playful remark, or if you’re lucky, a blush along with an embarrassed retort about your shamelessness. 
 What you get, however, is a resounding scoff. Your eyes snap back to his face – from, ahem, your prolonged staring at the area below his waist – and you do see the familiar tinge of pink on his cheeks, but what he says in response catches you off-guard.
“You spend that much resource for a card that isn’t mine?” Sylus tsks, both his voice and expression coming across as… affronted? “Kitten, I’m actually hurt.” 
Huh?
You haven’t heard that line from him before. Was there a recent update you weren’t aware of? The man in question then appears to look amused, from the way you’ve been rendered speechless by the unexpected dialogue. 
All at once, you gasp when you realize what the new response means. 
“That’s so smart,” you say giddily. You see Sylus cock his head to the side, synchronously quirking an eyebrow—expectant. “They actually added a feature that lets them know which memory I’ve upgraded last, and make you react to it. Oh, that’s so cool!” 
If you weren’t too busy being excited over what you think is a new update from the game,  you’d see the chagrined look on Sylus’ face. But when you glance back at him, all trace of the emotion is gone before you could notice anything different. 
“Don’t worry, Crow Man. You’re still my favorite,” you assure him, making his mouth tick upwards in a semblance of a smile. He looks pleased all of the sudden, his demeanor shifting into something more relaxed.
Then a pout forms on your face. You crinkle your nose in frustration as you complain, “It’s just really hard to level your cards up at this point. It takes ages and a shit ton of energy just to level you up past seventy five.” Sighing, you add, kind of bitterly, “And I’m too broke to be spending money on growth packs.” 
Checking the time on your phone, you see that you’ve already spent more than an hour on your self-imposed break time and you know that you ought to get back to work soon. With a groan, you pull yourself to sit upright, savoring the last few minutes of free time before you slave off for the rest of the night. 
You’re about to clean up what’s left of dinner when you notice the oddly thoughtful look on Sylus’ face. 
There’s a deep furrow in his brows as he brings a hand up to cover his mouth. He closes his eyes shut for a few seconds. He's never done that gesture before... Ugh, he looks really hot–
Suddenly, you see a flicker— then a weird, sort of graphic distortion happening in the background. Uh, what??
A beat; then a glitch on the screen. “Ah, shit.” 
The game crashes.
You exhale loudly as the game’s interface goes back to the loading screen, tapping your thumb impatiently as the bar slowly loads to 15%... 50%..... 81%....... 
“Maybe make sure to patch up first before releasing an update next time, jeez— Huh?” 
For a quick second, nothing seems to be amiss. But then the first thing you see on the home screen is Sylus’ figure standing before you, wearing an expression one could only describe as a cat that ate the proverbial canary. 
He speaks— and it’s another intro you haven’t heard him say, ever. 
“You should’ve told me sooner, sweetie,” he almost coos the words out, making your eyes bug out in shock. 
“Now, why don’t you go check your–” he pauses, and his mouth moves as if he’s rolling the word out, testing it. “Inventory?” 
Sylus slides his gaze towards the upper left corner of the screen, a coy smirk still ever-present on his face. 
There, you see something you haven’t noticed earlier: two notification badges. One on your mailbox, and another on the Hunter’s Info tab. Bewildered, you press on the mail icon first, despite the insistence for you to start with the latter. 
You see a new message: [For You]
A small gift, to bridge our worlds closer. – S 
Nothing is attached to it. You read it twice, perplexed.  
“You’re quite the contradictorian, aren’t you?” Sylus tuts as soon as you return back to the home screen, his gaze boring into you even when he tilts his head sideways in mock exasperation. “Mmm, I suppose it doesn’t matter. Take all the time you need, sweetheart.” 
Helplessly, you open your inventory next. 
Your jaw drops. 
“What. The fuck,” You whisper to yourself, voice wavering in disbelief at what you’re seeing, and the sheer amount of what you’re seeing. “This– this can’t be real.” 
You see that all the materials you own, from the bottle of wishes to the ascension crystal boxes, have been multiplied a hundred times over.
And on top of that–
Ninety nine thousand red dias????
You cannot believe how this– this recent… update (or is it a bug? Infold sure isn’t this generous) didn't make the news. Even as someone as uninvolved as you are with the community and the game’s latest releases, something like this for sure would’ve made headlines on Twitter (X), at least. But you haven’t heard anything. Nada. 
Holy shit. 
You feel a little light-headed, both from incredulity and excitement. Needing a moment to calm yourself down, you exit the Inventory tab in a daze.
You stare at Sylus. He stares back at you with what looks to be mirth in his eyes. 
Skeptically, you mutter, “did–did I get hacked or something?” 
Anticipating another unexpected dialogue to prompt up, you wait for a full minute without saying anything else. And for a moment, the man in front of you looks indecisive, contemplative. 
There’s something very odd, very… human in the way he’s looking at you. He looks as if– as if he’s—
His face falls back into a neutral expression. Not unlike how his idle animation usually looks. 
..
….. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to initiate a conversation any time soon, so you hesitantly poke him on the nose. 
“Even in the worst-case scenario, there’s no need to panic.”
You’ve heard that one before.
So he’s back to normal now. You temper the small disappointment that blooms in your gut. 
Shaking your head slowly, you try to make sense of all the stuff that just happened, but a sharp bite on your ankle pulls you out of your reverie. 
“Ow–!” The sight of your cat flopping near your feet reminds you of the time. More importantly, the backlogs waiting for you at your desk. 
“Wait, shit– I gotta get back to work.” This… unbelievable stroke of good luck (?) is gonna have to take a backseat for now.
You grab the carton box and the half-empty bottle of sparkling peach as you stand up. Making quick work of throwing the container in the trash and gulping down the rest of your drink, you rush into your room and back in front of your PC. 
Cracking your knuckles, you gingerly set your phone against the monitor. Setting the timer to one hour in Quality Time, knowing fully-well that you’re going to have to keep extending it until the wee hours of the morning – or until your battery dies, whichever comes first – you give Sylus one last look, letting out a long exhale before locking in.
“Just keep me company for the night, alright? I’ll figure out what’s going on once my shift’s over.” 
It could just be your overactive imagination, but you swear you hear a quiet chuckle from the man polishing his gun in your peripheral.
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kpopflowerfield · 1 day ago
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daylight | yjh
ღ pairing: jeonghan x barista!reader!
ღ word count: 6.5k
ღ genre: fluff & smut
ღ warnings: cursing, making out, soft sex, pet names (babe, baby, pretty girl), protected sex, (f) reader rides jeonghan, fingering, oral (m receiving)
ღ rating: nsfw, MDNI
ღ networks: @k-vanity @k-library
ღ summary: Jeonghan is moving on from a heartbreak, starting again and making every experience feel new with you.
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"Yah! Jeonghan! You got to get up!" there was a loud knock on the door following as Jeonghan groaned, recognizing the voice of his roommate, Seungkwan. He groaned out, turning his head to look out the window. The sunlight creeps in through the slits of the blinds. He sat up reluctantly. "Jeonghan?" Seungkwan kept banging on the door. "I'm up already! Keep knocking like that, and I'll have a hole going through my door, jeez," He exhaled, fixing his hair as he walked towards the door.
He unlocked it, hearing the click as he threw the door open. Seungkwan was still standing there with a pitiful look. Jeonghan hated it when people looked at him like that. He wasn't someone to feel sorry for. "You okay?" Seungkwan looked at the elder.
"Just peachy," He gave him a look, seeing the way his eyes didn't change. "Stop looking at me like that," Jeonghan's gaze was sharp as Seungkwan stepped back. Jeonghan wasn't trying to snap at Seungkwan, but he couldn't hold back seeing him look at him as if he was a charity case, which is what all of his friends have been doing lately.
He had gone through a nasty breakup, and that's all there was to it. Obviously, he was going to mope about it and have his moments of wanting to be alone. That was only human, but he guessed it wasn't like that when it came to him. He walked over to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. "What'd you wake me up for?" He shut the fridge and took a sip from the glass he had just filled.
"I mean, it's noon; you probably won't sleep again tonight. Plus, it's weird seeing you become nocturnal. We also need to go and study. Maybe the library?" Seungkwan avoided eye contact, not wanting to upset Jeonghan any more than he already did.
"Yeah, let me go grab my stuff." He took another sip and then poured the rest down the drain as he walked to his room to get ready, which was changing out of a hoodie and sweatpants and into another pair.
Within moments, the two left their place and headed towards the campus library. Jeonghan opened the door, holding it open for Seungkwan to follow as they walked in. They looked around, searching for a possible table, but didn't see many available. They went upstairs, downstairs, even to the study rooms, hoping someone didn't actually go to their reserved time, but nothing was open. "There's a cafe down the street. Let's go there," Jeonghan's suggestion sounded more like a demand as Seungkwan nodded.
Jeonghan carefully pushed open the door, the bell ringing as he looked around. It had more of an urban aesthetic mixed with some more modern parts. 'Cute,' Jeonghan thought to himself as he studied the brick walls and bright white counters. The tiny bell that hung on the back of the door rang again as Seungkwan walked in.
"Hello!" The bell was a cue for you to call out and welcome everyone. You looked up from the machine you were deep cleaning. Your eyes glued onto one of them for a moment. The way his fingers through his mid-length hair was intoxicating, seeing his soft features as he stared out. It was hard for you to remove your eyes from him as he pulled out a chair at one of the tables and took a seat.
"Hey. Y/N, do we need ice in the bin?" Your coworker, Eunae, called out. That was the only way you could remove your eyes from this stranger. "Oh, uh," You stuttered, opening the ice bin closest to you and the much larger one on the other side. "Yeah, like a bucket and a half would be perfect," You called back to her. She came out, filling the bins and looking at you. "Found yourself another crush?" She teased.
"No, just wondering if they want something," Your excuse was nothing but bullshit as she laughed, shaking her head at you. "Go ask then, weirdo," Your eyes widened a bit at that idea. Obviously, you've gone up to a table before and asked if they wanted a drink, but not someone like him. He was different than the other little crushes you had here and there.
You took a moment to muster up the courage, then walked over to the table. As you got closer, it seemed as if the two were arguing about something. You cleared your throat and smiled cheerfully. "Sorry to interrupt! Can I get either of you something to drink?" The shorter one smiled a bit and looked at you. "Yeah! Can I get an iced americano?" You nodded and looked over at the taller one. "I'll take the same." He didn't even bother to look up.
It hurt your ego that he didn't even move his eyes from the screen in front of him; you nodded and walked away. You made the drinks and peeked over the espresso machine as the taller one had a bothered expression looking at the other. "I don't care about Sooyoung or that she moved on already. Please leave me out of your updates on her. I'm not going to move on right now. My head is fucked thinking about her. I don't need the updates; besides, I'm working on fixing myself right now. I'm not jumping into a relationship," He grumbled; you didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he was talking a bit on the louder side. "Jeonghan," The other one started.
You finished up their drinks and thought to yourself, "Jeonghan." You walked over to them, carefully holding their drinks. "Two Americanos," you smiled. It was definitely a customer service smile instead of your actual smile as they nodded. "Thank you," Jeonghan finally lifted his head to look at you. His mind started racing for a moment. He couldn't remove his eyes from you as he walked away.
Seungkwan moved his leg over, kicking the side of his leg lightly. " What?" He looked at him. "Dude, you're eye fucking her...After saying you don't want another relationship." Jeonghan's face was expressionless as he shrugged a bit. "I can look all I want. That doesn't mean I'm hopping into a relationship." Seungkwan couldn't help but roll his eyes in response.
Jeonghan finished what he was working on and stood up, walking towards the register. You walked over and smiled. " Can I help you with anything?" He nodded a bit, his face seeming to relax from the scowl he had sitting at the table. " I'd just like to pay," you nodded and rang him up, adding a discount to it.
"Oh, I thought it was more," He looked surprised by the price and paid. You handed him his receipt, a soft, rosy color spreading on your cheeks. "Have a great rest of your day," you smiled at him as he nodded, giving you a soft smile and looking at your name tag. "You too, Y/N,"
You hated when people said your name at work if it wasn't one of your coworkers. You realized quickly after starting that customers would use it too much that they abused it. But hearing your name come from those sweet lips, he had made butterflies flutter in your stomach. You watched as he turned and sat back down with his friend.
You cleaned up the counters and looked around, not wanting to be a creep, and stared at him longingly from behind the counter. Watching the gorgeous, tall, slim figure pick up his bag and leave. You seemed disappointed that you didn't say much other than your usual customer service script you had. A few days went by, and you only had small shifts here and there. Even though you only saw Jeonghan one time, you consistently clocked in with the hope of being able to see him again.
You heard the bell ring as you finished stocking the cups. " Welcome!" You threw out the plastic and turned around. " Oh," You smiled a bit and walked over, seeing his face again. "Iced americano again?" You smiled at him as he looked at you. He seemed a bit surprised that you remembered him but was more than happy to realize you recognized him.
"Did you want decaf? It's a bit late," You realized you might have been crossing a line and stared at the espresso machine. "No, I need the caffeine right now. I have finals coming up." You nodded and smiled at him. "What major?" You looked at him over the counter. "Visual arts, more so in photography and journalism," He watched as you carefully put the lid on, waiting to hear the click of it connecting before handing him his drink.
"Dual major?" You looked at him, impressed, as he nodded. "That's why I need the caffeine," His laugh seemed a bit awkward and weak. "I don't blame you. I tried college, but it wasn't for me," You confessed as he listened. "I put it off for a while. My friend I was here with the other day helped convince me when he applied. Everyone I graduated high school with graduates in the spring, so I'm three years behind,"
"Gap years work for a lot of people." You nodded. You watched as he took a sip of his coffee; the bitter taste was comforting to him. " I got to be honest with you," You looked at him, almost studying him but hoping he didn't pick up on it. "Yeah?" He couldn't help but question; you were so captivating to him, and he loved hearing every word leave your lips. "I don't understand how you like Americanos," You laughed softly.
He looked at you surprised. "You don't like them?!" He sounded almost offended. "It's way too strong, plus it's so insanely bitter. I give you credit." You giggled as you spoke playfully, and he shook his head. "They're so good. The bitterness is the best part. You're actually able to taste the coffee and not all the flavors and milk." You listened to him; he sounded so confident in everything he said.
"Let me make you something; I think you'll like it," You looked over at him, seeing he was already halfway through his coffee. "Alright," He walked back over to the register. "Are you allergic to anything?" You looked at him as he shook his head. "I can have everything but dairy, but sometimes it upsets my stomach." He watched you as he worked. Hearing the scream of the milk steaming, he seemed in awe as you poured in the frothed milk, watching the simple design you created on top. You closed the lid and handed it to him.
"Try it," you looked at him. He picked it up, sniffing it first, then took a sip. His body filled with warmth, and he smiled. "What is it?" He opened the lid. "Vanilla latte: one extra shot so you get your strong coffee taste and vanilla soy milk." He looked at you and smiled. "Well, keep this in mind; this might become my usual."
You nodded with a grin. " What's your name?" You didn't want to be weird that you remembered him from your "accidental" eavesdro ping. " Jeonghan," he looked at you, admiring you as you nodded. " Well, nice to meet you," you smiled widely.
"Ditto," He smiled back and looked at you. " How much for the latte?" He stared at the register as you waved your hand at him. " Free," He huffed a bit, then thought. "Do you take tips?" You nodded a bit, and he smiled, looking around the dead cafe. "Come here," You walked around the bar and headed over to him. The smell of his cologne bringing you closer to him. He looked at the pocket sewn into your apron and dropped a bill in. "Thank you," he thanked you as you reached in and went to give it back to him.
"Nope, that's yours for your amazing customer service," he winked a bit as you shook your head. He looked at you and smiled. “Alright, I'm going to go now. There's a lot to study," he laughed a bit. "Have fun," you teased. "Do you work tomorrow?" He watched you, his eyes traveling all over your body as you walked behind the bar, bending down to grab a rag to start cleaning.
"Tomorrow night and the next day, I work in the morning," You never told people your schedule, no matter how attractive, but you couldn't help yourself and you could only hope it wouldn’t be a mistake. "I'll see you then," He walked out as you still had that smile plastered on your face.
He did come the next day and the day after. You kept talking each time and coming up with a new topic. Each conversation never ended, as there was always something new that you both could talk about. The next day, you finally got the confidence and looked at him, mesmerized by the way the light from the sun was hitting his eyes revealing the mixture of chestnut and amber hues. "Can I get your number?" You asked him as you interrupted the silence that crept over, but to your delight, he nodded and smiled. "Absolutely, give me your phone,"
You pulled it out from your back pocket and handed it to him as he typed his number in for you. "There you go," He smiled softly, handing you your phone back. You tucked your phone away, sending a quick hello text beforehand. "Would you like to go on a date?" He looked at you, his spontaneity catching you off guard. "A date?" You questioned, your head almost tilted to the side, resembling a puppy dog which made Jeonghan’s heart melt a bit. "Yes. You and me. Maybe some dinner, and we can see what we decide on after," He looked at you, hoping you weren't questioning it because you didn't want to go.
"Okay," you answered, and he looked at you, his eyes meeting as he smiled at you. "I'll text you later; I have to head to class." He checked the time quickly as you nodded at him. " Sounds good! Don't stress too much," you called out as he walked out.
Jeonghannie: When are you off this week?
You checked your phone, laughing to yourself at the name he had given his contact.
Y/N: I took off this weekend :)
Jeonghannie: Perfect
You stared at your phone, the excitement filling your body for the rest of the day, knowing you were actually going on a date with him.
Jeonghan smiled as he looked at his phone. Seungkwan nudged him a bit with his elbow. "What?" Jeonghan whispered as Seungkwan lifted his chin, looking at the chat he had open. "That's the girl from the cafe, isn't it?" Jeonghan locked his phone and placed it on the table in front of him. “Yes. She asked for my number, so I gave it to her. That's all," Seungkwan nodded a bit hesitantly as he didn't fully believe him about it being just a friendship. "Fine, we're going on a date this weekend." Seungkwan's eyes opened widely, and he was in utter shock hearing him say those words.
"Stop freaking out about it," He mumbled as Seungkwan still stared at him. "I thought you were 'fucked in the head,'" His eyes glared into Jeonghan as he quoted him. "Yeah, but it's been over for a while now. I'm not going to keep pitying myself with the idea of where I fucked up. I'm not going to continue blaming myself when I didn't deserve what Sooyoung did. It didn't matter what I did for her when we were together; I did everything to keep her happy, but it was for nothing. I'm moving on. Not going to keep messing up my head," Jeonghan sighed, finishing up his rant.
"Good," Seungkwan whispered as he nodded at him. Class finished up as he walked out with Seungkwan. "So, is the cafe where you've been going almost every day?" Jeonghan smiled to himself with a faint blush. "Yeah. There's a cute barista; I had to at least talk to her a few times," Seungkwan snickered a bit. " Shut up," Jeonghan laughed, a smile setting in on his face.
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He fixed his hair in the mirror, making sure he liked the way it looked as he grabbed his wallet and keys and walked out to the living room where Seungkwan was studying. "I'm leaving now," he said, walking towards the door as Seungkwan watched him. "Wow, look at you," he teased, seeing him so dressed up. "Don't wait up." He laughed as he walked out.
Jeonghannie: I'm on my way now!
Y/N: Okay! Drive safe
He smiled at your message as he got in his car, driving carefully to your place. He parked, grabbing the flowers he had bought for you out of the passenger seat and walked up to your apartment and knocked. You opened the door and smiled, seeing him.
He looked at you in awe. The little black dress you were wearing hugged your body and showed each curve you had perfectly. "Wow." He couldn't keep it in and had to let the words escape his lips. He smiled at you, admiring your body, and you did the same to him. You both had a very classic idea for date night. His black dress pants and white shirt looked incredible on him, but you knew he'd look stunning in anything.
"Oh, these are for you," he carefully handed you the bouquet he purchased. You looked at the deep red color of the roses, and your face started to match that shade. "They're beautiful," you smiled, opening your door more to invite him in. You walked over to your kitchen, grabbed a vase, and filled it with water and the food that came with the flowers as you carefully placed them in the vase. " Thank you," you looked over at him.
"Of course," he already felt himself falling for the way you smiled at him, the way your eyes had a grin to them. " I'm ready to go whenever you are," you looked at him as he nodded, standing up from the stool he found himself sitting in.
He walked with you down the stairs and checked his map application. "It's a quick walk if you'd like to do that, or we can go by car. Your choice," He looked at you. "It's nice out so that we can take a walk," You grinned up at him, his heart melting a bit inside as he thought for a moment. "Let me just get my jacket from the car." He walked over to a newer-looking sedan. You watched from the stairs of your building as he practically jogged back over to you. "Okay, we can go now," He smiled, putting the jacket on and walking with you.
He wasn't actually cold, but he figured that if you were after dinner, he could give you his jacket like in the rom-coms he swore he hated but still used to watch. He walked next to you as you headed to the restaurant. "Good evening," the hostess smiled as Jeonghan smiled back. “I have a reservation; it should be under Jeonghan." He watched as she looked in her book. "Table for two?" She looked up at him as she highlighted a part of the restaurant in purple.
She grabbed two menus and walked you to your table. You looked around the place in a bit of awe as you'd never been to a place like it. More than thirty tables were scattered around just in the main dining room. The hostess led you to the back of the restaurant, placing the menus on a round table. The table was beautifully set with a darker green tablecloth, faux candles that were flickering in the center, and a fawn-colored napkin placed on each side that wrapped up your silverware. The hostess pulled out your seat as you sat down, going to push your chair in until she did it.
Your expression must've looked surprised by the way Jeonghan stifled a laugh. You looked at the menu and quickly snuck a peek at Jeonghan. "If you don't like the menu, let me know; we can go somewhere else,” his voice was almost a whisper as you nodded. "I'll be good," You smiled at him as he nodded. "I like Italian," You reassured him as he nodded with a smile. "Have you ever been here?" He looked at you. His eyes looked so dreamy as you shook your head. "I've never been somewhere this fancy,"
You looked around, studying the area around you. The place was dim, but you could still see Jeonghan clearly. Before you could get too lost in your thoughts, the waiter came up. "Good evening. My name is Insu, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?" Jeonghan checked the menu one more time and then looked at you. "Do you drink wine?" He watched as you nodded, and he looked at the waiter. "Two glasses of the best Chardonnay you have, please," The waiter nodded and smiled at the two of you. "Any appetizers? I'd recommend the raw bar sampler or crab cakes or even a Caesar salad to pair with your wine." He suggested as Jeonghan nodded, and you smiled. You placed your order and looked at Jeonghan. "Do you have Venmo or something?" He shook his head, laughing a bit.
You pouted slightly. "Seriously, this meal is like half of my rent. Let me pay you for my portion." You were almost begging as he shook his head. "I asked you out, plus it's a date. I'm not going to make you pay for your meal at a place I picked." You realized it wasn't worth playfully arguing as Jeonghan was very set on not having you pay, so you backed down. "How have classes been?" You smiled at him, changing the subject. He shrugged a bit. "They've been okay. I mean, finals are happening in about a month, so I'm going to have to start cramming because half the classes go in one ear and out the other." He laughed a bit.
You listened to him as he talked about his classes. You started to regret not going, but you were also more than grateful that you didn't have to stress out studying for a grade that would make or break your future. "Sorry, I don't mean to yap so much; how has work been?" He looked at you, feeling bad that all he was doing was talking. "It was good; I don't know why we've been so understaffed a lot, but I've picked up a lot of hours." Jeonghan listened but wasn't fully grasping your words. He looked lost while watching your lips move. Nothing sexual was being said, but he couldn't help the dirty thoughts that flooded his brain. The dark rose-shaded gloss that covered your lips made him picture where else it would look just as perfect. He licked his lips a bit and took a sip from his wine. You smiled at him innocently as you finished talking.
"How long have you been there?" He posed another question so he wouldn't look as weird for staring at you like you were dessert. His eyes traveled around what he could see. "About three years," You nodded as he nodded back, looking a bit surprised to hear about your longevity in one place. "Where do you work?" You smiled at him, wanting to figure out how he had so much money that he could throw at a meal. "Oh," He seemed a bit flustered. "I don't. I'm focused more on school right now. Luckily, my family lets me buy using their credit card for now." He sounded embarrassed, like he didn't want to tell you. He read your expression as you nodded. "I do want to get a job once I get my degree," you nodded again; you weren't expecting it, but you weren't too surprised seeing his new car and the fancier clothing he’d wear just to stop by for some coffee.
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You watched him sign the check and stood up, pulling your chair out for you as you got up and walked towards the door with him. You held your small clutch purse tight to your body as a chill came over you from the late-night breeze. "Cold?" He questioned a bit as you nodded. You saw him take off his jacket quickly and place it around your body. He wouldn't verbally say it, but he was a bit proud of the moment he wanted to happen, which was actually playing out.
He walked with you back to your place as you smiled up at him. "I had an amazing time. Thank you for dinner; next time, it's on me," He looked down at you, a gentle smile spreading on his cheeks. "You want another date with me?" He questioned as a faint blush spread on your face. "I mean, if you'd like another one with me?" It came out as a question as he nodded. "I'd love to go out with you again," You stood at the door of your apartment.
"Want to come in?" You questioned as he nodded a bit. "Sure, as long as it's not a hassle," You shushed him a bit as you pulled your keys out of your bag and unlocked your door, letting him in and following after. You locked the door behind you as you put your purse on the counter. Your apartment was neat and bright from the white counters and backsplash mixed with the bright white LED lights. "Make yourself at home," You bent down a bit to take off the heels you were wearing. He walked over to your couch and sat down.
"Do you want anything? Water? Coffee?" You looked at him. "I'll take a water, please," He looked over at you. You nodded as you grabbed two bottles and walked over to him, handing him one and opening the other one for yourself. You sat down on the couch next to him. "Thank you again for dinner," You took off his coat and placed it on the back of the sofa next to him. "And thank you for letting me wear that," You brushed off the back of the coat, ridding of a few pieces of your hair.
“Anytime,” His eyes wandered, looking over every inch of your body. He studied every curve of your body, the way your tits sat perfectly in that tight dress. He felt so worked up as his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. You noticed and moved in closer to him. "Do it," Your voice was soft as his eyes darted to meet yours, he was a bit surprised that you caught him. He placed his hand on the side of your face gently as he kissed you. His gentle lips were soft and needy as he pulled you in closer to him.
You held onto his shoulders as he pulled you to sit on his lap. His tongue moved in sync with yours as you had your arms loosely wrapped around his neck. You pulled away, putting your forehead on his to let you both catch your breath. "I got my lipstick on you," You started to wipe it off with your thumb as a smirk crept onto his face. "Can it go somewhere else?" He gave you such a suggestive look, making your stomach backflip.
"Oh yeah?" Your voice was low but playful as you leaned to whisper in his ear. "And where is that?" You playfully unbuttoned his shirt. He moved you carefully, making you giggle a bit as he leaned to whisper in your ear this time. "I want to see those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock," He was forward, not wanting to play with you. He stood up as your eyes followed him. "I can make that happen," You murmured.
He threw his shirt off, and then his pants followed within moments of you agreeing. You looked at the length that was being compressed in his boxers. He pulled it out, looking at you as you sat on the couch. Your eyes stayed locked on his cock. He was bigger than you expected, but you weren't going to complain. You wrapped your hand around his thick base and started to move it. Twisting and moving it up and down. Soft groans escaped from his lips as you put his cock in your mouth.
He pressed his lips together, loving the feeling of the warmth your mouth gave him. "You're such a pretty girl," He breathed. Your eyes connected with his as you swirled your tongue around his tip. "Fuck yes," He groaned under his breath. You kept your pace as your cheeks hollowed against his length. The warmth of your mouth made him moan. He watched your head bob up and down as your hand still worked on jerking him from the base of his length.
He pursed his lips, not wanting to cum just yet. He tangled his fingers in your hair. "Get on the couch," His voice was gentle as you pulled away from him. He helped you stand up and kissed your reddened lips. "Sit," You sat down on the couch like he told you to. He pushed your stomach lightly to have you lie down. He kissed your lips, biting down carefully as he reached under your dress and pulled your panties down. Throwing them somewhere in your living room.
He smirked to himself as he felt your wetness. You shivered a bit at the feeling as he pushed his middle finger in gently, moving his finger slowly before pulling out to rub your sensitive bud. You moaned against his lips as he moved his finger carefully, not wanting to overwhelm your body with his touch.
His fingers played with your wetness, moving from your soaking wet cunt to your swollen clit. Every motion had you moaning out. "J-Jeonghan," You stuttered as he smirked, placing kisses on every available place of your body. His fingers moved in a come-hither motion. "That feels so fucking good," You mewled out. He loved hearing your words of encouragement as he continued.
His foreplay was sending you into a deep state of euphoria as he watched you. "Do you want to go further?" He wanted to make sure you actually wanted to fuck and not just play with each other for now. "Yes," You couldn't help but plead. "I want your cock in me so bad, Jeonghan," You were begging him at this point as he moved his fingers away from you. He grabbed his pants off the floor and opened his wallet. Grabbing the gold foil and ripping it open, he slid on the rubber from inside.
"Are you okay with riding?" He spoke so sweetly as he sat down next to you. You nodded at him as you slid off your dress. He stared at your figure in awe as you moved to hover over him. "Take your time," His voice was gentle as you nodded, slowly sinking onto his length. Moans slipped out of your mouth as he groaned, feeling your tight opening wrap around him.
His hands placed themselves on your hips as you slowly started to move. He grunted as you slowly rolled your hips against him, feeling your walls adjust to him. "You're doing so fucking good." He couldn't help but praise you, and it was helping as your pace picked up as you bounced on him. He watched your tits for a moment before pulling you in closer to him, taking one of him in his mouth as he flicked your nipple with his tongue.
"Oh fuck, Jeonghan," You whimpered as he continued; his tongue started to swirl around your nipple as you groaned, and he moved to the other side of your chest to repeat the same actions. He held your ass before taking control of the pacing for you. His cock pushed deeper inside you. His thrusts were more desperate than yours were as they made you cry out his name.
"You like that baby?" He smirked a bit as your cheeks deepened in color at the sudden pet name. "Fuck yes," You purred. The sound of your thighs hitting filled the room, and his thrusts started to become pounds as you cursed and yelled out his name. "God, you're so fucking perfect," His grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. Your moans grew louder as he covered your mouth. "We wouldn't want a noise complaint, would we?" His eyes were dark and full of lust as you bit your lip.
He removed his hand from your face and placed it on the nape of your neck, pulling you into him as he kissed you. His saliva spreading on your lips from his sloppiness. He watched your expression for a moment as he pulled away. "I'm going to fucking cum, Jeonghan," Your eyes rolled back as he continued to move his hips into you. "Do it for me, babe," He cooed.
You felt your body dissolve into pleasure as your walls spasmed against his dick. He groaned as he pulled you in closer, biting your shoulder lightly as his cock twitched inside as he climaxed. You felt his grip on you loosen a bit as he panted. "You're so beautiful," He looked at you, his hair sticking to his forehead as he smiled up at you. "You felt so good; I'm sorry I took over," He apologized as he fixed your hair and then put his hand on your cheek.
"It's okay," You blushed. "I liked it better when you started fucking me," You admitted smiling a bit. "I also didn't mean to take you out to dinner and fuck right after the first date." He laughed a bit shortly. "I wasn't planning on it either," You confessed to him. "But it was a heat of the moment thing, and I think both of us enjoyed it. Or at least I did," You smiled at him as he nodded quickly. "I enjoyed it a lot,"
You got off of him and walked to your bedroom to grab yourself some clothes. You walked out and saw he had already put his pants and shirt back on. "I'm going to go home, okay?" He looked over at you. You checked the time on your stove and saw it was eleven thirty. "Alright, thank you for dinner and everything, Jeonghan. I'd love to go out again," You smiled up at him as he nodded. "I'll text you," He kissed your cheek as he walked out.
Once he got home, he saw Seungkwan waiting for him. "How was your date?" Seungkwan looked over as Jeonghan tossed his keys on the counter. "It was good. I had a really, really good time, and I think she did too." He looked through the mail on the counter as Seungkwan studied him, seeing his disheveled hair that was sticking to his forehead. "Did you guys just have dinner?" He questioned.
Jeonghan rolled his eyes as he responded. "Yep. Dinner, and she invited me to her place afterward," Seungkwan nodded. “Are you seeing her again?" Jeonghan nodded in response. “I'd love to. She's perfect, so I want to keep seeing her." He finally looked over at him.
Y/N: I hope you made it home safely! I really appreciate everything from tonight. Would you like to go and see a new movie that comes out next week? I'm off Thursday and Saturday.
Jeonghannie: I would love to! Thursday is the only day I don't have class, so that would be perfect.
Y/N: See you then
Jeonghan smiled as he put his phone away. "I'm heading to bed, night Seungkwan." He walked to his room and shut the door behind him.
You spent your days counting down in between each date the two of you had. It took Jeonghan a bit, but he finally, as Seungkwan would say, "Grew a pair" and asked you out.
The two of you grew inseparable, and you became close with Seungkwan, too. Once you moved in the three of you ended up doing a lot together. When they were having cram sessions you’d always make sure to come home with coffees to give them. Jeonghan felt so lucky to have you in his life, especially at that moment. He sat in his chair, looking around at the stadium full of people.
"Welcome, families and graduates," the dean's soft voice said as he spoke into the microphone that didn’t help his voice reach the whole stadium. He continued his speech about the college, and the ceremony began. You searched the chairs from high up, trying to see if you could find Jeonghan. The list of names went on and on.
Y/N: I can't find you :(
You sent your message and kept looking around.
Jeonghannie: I'm three rows in front of the last. Middle of the row!
He looked down and searched. His mahogany-shaded hair didn't stand out from the crowd, but once he started moving, you could spot him, seeing the yellow top of his cap.
Y/N: I see you, pookie <3
Jeonghannie: I can't see you :( That's unfair
Y/N: Wait until after ;)
He smiled at your message and put his phone away, as his name was close to being called.
"Yoon Jeonghan," The dean called out as Jeonghan shook his hand. Holding the diploma close and taking his photo op with the dean and others from the administration.
You cheered for him, watching as he looked around and finally made eye contact with you. He smiled so brightly as he sat back down in his seat.
Y/N: Look at my smart, handsome, and perfect graduate boyfriend!
You giggled as you sent your message with a picture you took of him.
Jeonghannie: God, I love you
You smiled at his message as you waited for the ceremony to wrap up, it took another forty minutes but once they announced the last name and thanked everyone you made your way out of the stadium. Then, you walked out to the main campus and waited for him with a bouquet of crimson carnations that coordinated with the school's colors. You looked around eagerly, waiting for him.
You heard his laugh as he spoke with someone else, and your face lit up when you saw him. You let a few people pass before you ran up, practically jumping into his arms, and he held you. "I'm so proud of you," Your voice was gentle as you spoke into his ear, kissing his cheek as he squeezed you a bit. He kissed your nose and smiled. "I love you so much, Y/N,"
You watched as he pulled away from the hug. You held the flowers and smiled at him. Your expression became a bit confused as he got on one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket.
"Like every day, I want to make it about us, not just me or you. I want to be with you every day for the rest of our lives. I love you more than I could even put into words, Y/N," You watched as he took a deep breath and opened the box. "Will you marry me?" Your mouth was left agape as you stared at the beautiful rock he was holding out to you. You realized you didn't say anything and smiled at him. "Yes, absolutely." Happy tears came down your face as he stood up, sliding the ring on your finger gently before placing a kiss on your lips.
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cilil · 3 days ago
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Hi, do you have any advices for budding writers on AO3 or here?
Hey! :)
I've given this some thought and compiled what I hope might be some helpful pointers, but if there's anything else or anything specific you want to hear more about, feel free to ask again. Also I'm assuming this is about the amazing craft of fanfic and not, uh, building a platform or whatever (I wouldn't be very helpful with that, I'm a nobody x)).
Share what you feel comfortable sharing.
So since you're asking about budding writers on AO3 and Tumblr, I take it you're at a point where you feel comfortable sharing your writing online, which is amazing. Nevertheless, I feel the need to once again mention (just for anyone who may be in the same or a similar situation) that it's completely alright not to be comfortable with it (yet) or not to share everything you write. I share almost everything simply because I'm annoying and it makes me feel accomplished and since I've grown pretty comfortable with it, I might as well; but not everyone feels that way and feelings also change. It's completely alright to write just for yourself or a small circle of friends.
Don't worry too much about "being good".
I will be the first to admit that I deeply relate to struggling with perfectionism when it comes to writing (and other creative pursuits). However, as someone who's been reading fic for many years, tends to be into quite niche and obscure things sometimes and is rarely spoiled by big fandoms' abundance of food, I want all writers, especially new ones, to know that you don't have to write the most amazing, perfect, publishing-ready pieces. What matters is your passion and creativity, which will show in your writing regardless of skill level. Not to mention that fic is free and in fact a tool for many to experiment.
That's not to say you can't strive to improve or be good - by all means, I find it admirable if you want to hone your craft and make progress as you continue to write. Just don't let perfectionism ruin your fun and stifle your creativity.
How to get better without trying overly hard.
Aside from just writing, writing and writing (that is the most important part though), how do you improve without making it a point to do so? Well, if it works for you to read/watch guides or you enjoy specific writing exercises, that's great, but one thing that I find gets overlooked a lot in writing spaces is simply: Reading. Just reading for fun.
I find that I often discover little things in other people's writing that I really like and then I think to myself "wow, that's really neat how they did that, maybe I could take a page out of their book" (pun intended) and make it a point to pay attention to these things when I write. Essentially, it's like creating a nice patchwork blanket which is your style, made up of your own voice and preferences as a writer and cool stuff you picked up on the road.
Let me just name some examples, which, yes, are also an excuse to shamelessly blow some writer friends of mine a well-deserved kiss of appreciation. @sauron-kraut writes incredibly polished short stories with beautiful wording and atmosphere that have a lot of little hidden things to discover and dissect, and I want to steal her ability to set the stage and hide those easter eggs. @a-world-of-whimsy-5 is an absolute legend when it comes to writing medieval and medieval-adjacent stuff, and I learned so much from her fics. @i-did-not-mean-to has a way of writing with such esprit and wit that I always end up in a good mood after, a style of narrative voice I've adored for over a decade, and I've greatly improved my humorous writing in particular thanks to her. @crackinthecup has the marvelous ability to craft extremely emotionally evocative scenes, which have encouraged me to be more courageous and experimental in my sentence melody and structure. @tragedybunny has a way of writing that reminds me of coming home to a warm and comfy place, and I will find out how she did it and how I can do it as well.
So as you can see, it can be super helpful to compare notes with your fellow writers. Never be discouraged by someone else's ability; instead learn and expand your own.
Feedback, criticism and community.
Let me just get one thing out of the way: You don't have to take criticism from everyone. Or at all. As far as I understand, the fanfic community has come to to agree that we're doing this for fun and don't give criticism unprompted/when we aren't sure it's wanted or welcome. As a general rule: Take criticism from those you would also seek advice from. Ask for feedback if you feel comfortable, and if not, that's a valid boundary to have and I will gently smack anyone who presumes to pick apart writing that was made for fun and generously shared with the community for free.
The community aspect, however, should be taken into account on other fronts. While I won't tell anyone they have to interact and believe that, in an ideal world, everyone's writing would just speak for itself, it is helpful to engage with the community. Things you can do (both on Tumblr and AO3 if also applicable/possible) include: Respond to people interacting with your works, interacting with other people's works (for example while you're doing your reading sessions and looking at other writers' styles) and just overall being present, being talkative, going with the flow.
Again, this is not a must. But I will say that pretty much all of us want positive responses and interactions on their work and that just won't work if you expect everyone to show up for you all the time and never show up for anyone else. Engagement, passion and community are our "currency" in the absence of money and reciprocity is an important element of that. A lot of friction and complaints in the fanfic community regarding lack of interaction or entitlement are rooted in misunderstandings of this fundamental principle.
But don't take this in a cynical manner. Seek out what you enjoy, share the joy and passion and you'll make friends just accidentally - which is the part that I find makes fandom on AO3 and Tumblr so much fun! (I don't even want to be a "traditional" author anymore, I want this instead😁)
Find your groove and groove along.
Lastly, make sure your writing is fun for you or else it'll become a chore and eventually get ruined for you as a hobby. This is unfortunately a continuous task as your needs and interests shift - for example you might be in the mood to do an entire drabble challenge one month and during another month you feel so drained that you couldn't do another one. Or you might want to write something different for a change. Or whatever it may be.
Either way, one recent lesson I've learned is that I got too tied up in obligations and it left no space for spontaneous inspiration, so I never got to write what I wanted to write in the moment and it pushed me quite close to burnout. Do yourself a favor and always hold that space for yourself. In practice, this could for example mean that you do one event and on the side write this cool new idea you had, instead of doing three events - which is fun and games until it starts getting too much and you don't have time for your passion projects.
Finding your groove also includes the whole technical aspect, such as which writing programs you use, which device (or none at all), where you write, how to make yourself comfortable, how to get in the right headspace for things. I would also like to encourage all of you to be a bit crazy and whimsical about this: For example I've gone to the perfume store, picked out a scent for a specific character in a specific scene and sniffed it while writing the description several times now. Do what it takes. And say goodbye to your squeaky clean search history - you will research some weird stuff just to get that one line right.
So yeah, these are just my random thoughts on fic writing and what has been helpful in order for me to have lots of fun with this hobby. Happy writing!
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theoneandonlysourcandy · 1 day ago
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Henry hotline x reader headcanons (but this time there’s a WHOLE BUNCH)
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So I feel like the last Henry headcanons have been too short, I want to feed y’all (and myself) a three course meal, so, I’m just gonna be putting anything about Henry hotline I can think of here and hope for the best!! Enjoy my cringe slop
☎️- Alright, first off, he LOVES giving you any sort of affection, and will constantly hold your hand whenever he’s with you. When sitting next to each other, he’ll put his arm behind you on your chair. Any sort of touch or affection he can get.
☎️- Will tease you sometimes, but never actually be mean to you, he’ll just poke some fun at you, like if your short he’ll say “How’s the weather down there” or something.
☎️- Speaking of being short, if you were, he’d lean on you with his arm, like putting it on your head or shoulder. Unless you don’t want him too, though. Otherwise your permanently his wall to lean on.
☎️- SHOWERS you in gifts, I under exaggerated how much he gives you gifts in my first post. Anywhere he goes, he’s getting you a gift. It’s honestly insane just how much stuff you have from this guy, and most of it is pretty fancy.
☎️- He’s definitely rich as fuck. No doubt. If you want something, your getting it. A necklace? It’s already on your neck. A new phone? Of course, just don’t call him too often with it. Even if you feel bad about spending so much of his money, he’ll just reassure you that he’s got plenty. More than plenty, actually.
☎️- He’d get jealous often, not like super annoyingly often where if you talk to someone other than him he’d be mad, he’ll just get a little jealous often when your talking to Frankie or deputy duck-actually, HUGE emphasis on deputy duck. He hates that bitch, if he sees you talking to him he’s immediately coming up and joining the conversation, while giving deputy duck a VERY obvious glare.
☎️- Cuddles you all the time. He loves having your head on his chest while you two watch some corny movie together, or just having you in his arms. He never wants to let go once he’s got you cuddled up in a bunch of warm blankets together.
☎️- Brags about you 24/7, will not shut the fuck up about you when your not around, he’s practically driving Frankie insane.
☎️- Never ever in a million years will he ever want kids, but, he’ll happily marry you without a second thought! Just. . No kids. His headaches are already terrible enough, he doesn’t need anymore screaming kids around him, he’s got enough of them to deal with at the park. And they CONSTANTLY call him!
☎️- Loves to take you out on fancy dates, if you couldn’t tell already, he absolutely loves spoiling you.
☎️- Someone’s making you uncomfortable? He is absolutely livid. He’s immediately coming over and putting an arm around your waist before they can try anything else, and gives them the most passive aggressive smile you’ve seen from him, and you’ve seen those smiles before from his bad temper.
☎️- Speaking of his temper, sometimes he’ll snap at you thinking your someone working on his show or something, but as soon as he realizes it’s you, he apologizes profusely. He feels so bad about it, he didn’t mean to upset you, he’d never want to.
☎️- He’s both a cat and a dog person, he just can’t really choose. Cats are nice, calm and cuddly, but he also loves the energy from dogs and playing with them. If you want to get a cat or a dog, he’s all for it, he doesn’t care which one you want either. If your happy, he’s happy.
☎️- He can start arguments pretty easily with his constant headache, but each time he feels really bad about it, muttering apologies and finding a really nice gift to make you feel better. He’s usually a really good with words and an absolute flirt, but after an argument, he can’t even say a single sentence correctly.
☎️- Speaking of flirting, he does it constantly. Flirts, loving teases, the whole nine yards. His ultimate goal is to make you blush like a tomato. Of course, if your mad or being serious he won’t, but otherwise, he’s cooking tomatoes.
I was in a online class Making This and the teacher randomly called my name and I panicked and scared my cat, hope you guys I was giggling and kicking my feet making this hes LITERALLY my husband Im literally Henry hotlines number 1 fan (btw, if anyone’s been looking for some Henry hotline bots on character ai, I can give y’all my account name so y’all can check out mine, there’s like NO finding Frankie bots and I wanna change that)
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writeforfandoms · 17 hours ago
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Island 8
Find the series masterlist
The group of you are finally ready to leave the base and start on, hopefully, the final journey on the Island.
Warnings: Swearing, mention of blood, mention of hunting, anxiety, general feelings of low self-worth, typical stuff for Survivor for this series.
Word count: 2.7k
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It took a further three days to have everything as prepped as you wanted. You made batches and batches of hard biscuits, using up all the flour. Berries would still be available along a lot of the route, so you didn't worry too much about that. Jerky was fortunately something you'd been making for a long time, so you had quite a bit of it to go around. Fresh meat would also be available along the route. 
Water was more of a concern, but you were still holding out hope for a drop with more canteens.
Price gave in to your logic, and finished taming the iguanodon, which was good. Ghost surprised the hell out of you by coming back with a stego. Even Soap managed to tame a parasaur. 
Gaz still wanted a hyaenadon, so you and he took the ghillie and cuts of meat and started taming. You worked on one - Gaz somehow managed to work on two. It did take two days, as you'd predicted, but it worked. 
Leaving the lot of you with plenty of tames to carry things and help guard the group. Hopefully you'd be able to tame a few more things along the way, since you weren't worried much about being able to feed them all until you got to the volcano. 
Really, it was a pretty good start. 
Soap and Gaz did a good portion of the packing, with Price and Ghost handling the weapons and ammunition. Another thing you wouldn't mind finding more of in a drop. 
You kept track of everything, made sure everyone had some armor and kept essentials on them. Just in case. 
You didn't even object when Gaz swapped out one of your armor pieces for something heavier. 
The morning you were set to leave was… hard. Not for any reasons you'd expected. Packing went quickly and seamlessly, all the tames behaving themselves. Even Ripper wasn't trying to maul anyone. 
No, it was difficult for you to leave. You didn't want to leave. You didn't want to leave the safety of your base. You weren't ready to venture into the relative unknown.
Even with the four men by your side. 
“Ready?” Gaz finally prompted you, even as one of the tames snorted and shuffled behind you. 
You breathed in deep one last time, hands steady as you straightened your shirt. “Ready.” You turned your back on the base and took your place at the front, leading the whole group away. 
You didn't look back. 
If your guesses were right, it would take about four days to reach the volcano, since the lot of you weren't pushing, and were moving more cautiously. Maybe three, if things went well and nobody got in trouble and there weren't any distractions. 
You had enough food to last a week, just in case. 
The first day was easy. Nothing bothered you. All was quiet. Feeding everyone was easy - the herbivores grazed as you all walked, and you let Ripper and the hyaenadons after a few dodos. Gaz helped you build up the campfire for the night, helping you cook as the others took care of settling everything else. 
“Ye never did tell us how to tame a raptor,” Soap said, eyeing Ripper where the raptor had settled behind you for the night. 
“I didn't?” You blinked, surprised. You could have sworn you'd told them already. “Well, it's not easy. The hyaenadons are probably the easiest, honestly.” You swallowed a few berries, thinking over how you wanted to phrase it. 
“And the rest?” Price had a keen eye on you, even as he swapped a pot of boiling water for a fresh pot. 
“Well, first step is to not get killed,” you answered dryly, smirking at his dissatisfied huff. “You have to trap the predators. Usually that means with something like a bear trap. Feed them while they're stuck and can't go anywhere. Tom was pretty good at building traps that were less harmful, things you could lead a raptor into without risking your arm.” 
“Traps, eh?” Price eyed you, clearly considering. “Did he teach you?” 
“Yes,” you said slowly, hesitantly. “But we won't have time to build any traps, not on our route. The only chance we'd have of taming one is if we found one already trapped or injured.” 
“But it could be done,” Price pressed. 
“Sure,” you agreed with a shrug. “Still takes time, so we'd have to pause somewhere nearby, but it could be done, hypothetically. I don't know if we'll need more carnivores though, honestly. I wouldn't say no to more trikes or stegos.” 
Price sat back, his curiosity apparently assuaged for the moment. 
“How did Tom teach ye?” Soap asked, still looking curious. 
“Showed me what he had done with Ripper,” you said, shrugging again. “We had plenty of time. Not like we had anywhere else to be.” You paused, swallowing back bitterness. “At least, that's what we figured at the time.” 
Silence settled over the camp for a few long moments, the others giving you time to calm again. You didn't look at them, instead choosing to look at the fire, letting the movement of the flames distract you from your feelings. 
You owed a lot to Tom, and you'd never have a chance to repay him. 
But maybe if you got these men out… maybe your debt would be closer to settled. 
“What else did he teach you?” Gaz was the one to break the silence. “About tames.”
You smiled a little. “Which ones to avoid, like dodos,” you answered easily. “Which ones were easier to tame. Where to find the different creatures.” 
“You seen a lot of this place, then?” Soap piped up, watching keenly.
“A fair bit. Not the snowy lands, not the volcano. But I did make the mistake of going through the swamp once.” You shuddered in remembered terror and revulsion. “Huge bugs. Terrifying crocodile-things, except bigger. Lots of fighting and hunting going on in the swamp, all the time.” 
“Didn't ye have to go there to get the leech?” Soap looked faintly concerned. 
You shrugged. “I stayed to the outside, only went in far enough to find a leech and run. It was fine.” You reached behind you to pat Ripper. The raptor chirruped at you, clearly pleased with the attention. 
“Good thing that's not on the way,” Gaz managed to joke, his attention still focused on you. 
“Very good thing,” you agreed. “Although once we get into the mountains, there will be plenty of bad shit to keep us busy.” 
“We're prepared for that,” Price pointed out, seemingly unconcerned. 
You decided to keep your thoughts to yourself. You'd already expressed concern about the danger, more than once, so further harping on it wouldn't get you anywhere. Especially since these four could now survive on their own. They didn't actually need you anymore. 
It was what you'd worked towards with them, for them, but it was still a slightly terrifying thought. That they would survive without you. 
You shook yourself, getting rid of the worst of the what ifs and maybes, and stood to do a quick round of checks. Now that dark had fallen, it would be best to sleep in shifts, something the four of them had divided up quite nicely. 
You weren’t going to object. Not tonight. Tomorrow, though, you’d insist on pulling your weight. 
Soap, Price, and Ghost all settled down, apparently content to go to sleep. Soap even went so far as to roll away from the fire, his hair even more of a mess than usual. 
Gaz stayed where he was, seated, shoulders relaxed but gaze alert. The firelight cast odd shadows around him, flickering and dancing. Far from scaring you, however, you just thought him beautiful like this. 
“You should get some sleep,” he murmured to you, voice lowered in deference to his teammates. 
“I will,” you agreed. “In a few minutes.” You breathed in deep, the cold air mixed with the smell of the fire both soothing and exhilarating. “You see the island very differently.”
“Do I?” He sounded curious, glancing at you as you settled a little closer to him. You told yourself it was so you could keep your voices down, let the others sleep.
You didn't acknowledge that you just wanted to be close to him. 
Well. You tried not to acknowledge that, anyway. 
“You still see the wonder of it,” you murmured, letting your own gaze drift past the fire to the dark woods beyond. “The beauty of this place. I can't see it anymore. I just see danger.” 
Gaz was quiet for a few moments before he leaned over enough to nudge his shoulder up against yours. “You've been alone a long time,” he murmured. “Hypervigilance is not surprising.” 
You sighed softly, leaning just a little into the comfort he offered. “I'm tired,” you admitted, so quiet you were sure he couldn't hear you. 
But he surprised you, turning enough to wrap one solid arm around your shoulders. “I'm here,” he whispered, head tipped towards your ear, foreheads nearly touching. “I'll help. Any way I can.” 
You closed your eyes, trying to ignore the hot sting of tears, refusing to let them escape. “You already are.” 
His arm tightened around you, comforting and grounding, letting you breathe more easily. Neither of you said another word. None were needed. The shared warmth and comfort was more than enough for you. 
And when you woke in the morning next to Gaz, rather than where you'd originally set your things down, no one said anything. Soap looked like he wanted to, but he didn't. (The sharp-looking elbow from Gaz might've helped with that.) 
It didn't take long until the lot of you were walking again. You had the map, mostly ignoring Price peering over your shoulder at it. You didn't need the map yet, but you wanted to be sure the lot of you weren't getting lost. 
“Drops up ahead,” Ghost called from the back of the group. 
You paused and shaded your eyes, looking up until you spotted them. One green drop and one white. Your heart thumped in excitement. White drops were rare, and usually had really good stuff. 
“Looks like they'll be falling up ahead,” Price said, having also spotted them. “Nearly dead ahead.” 
“The white one is a bit off course,” you mused. “But it should be fine. We're not that close to the horse clan here, I think we're outside their normal range.” 
“You think?” Price raised one eyebrow at you.
You rolled your eyes. “I was less focused on keeping up with their territories, and more focused on surviving,” you pointed out, eyes narrowing at him. 
Price huffed but held his hands up in apparent surrender. Satisfied, you looked back at the drops. The green would be directly on the way, easy to stop and grab. 
An ankylosaurus wandered out of the trees in front of the group, snorting once at the lot of you before continuing to look for berries. 
“Slight change of plans,” you murmured, excited now. “You lot go to the green drop and wait for it there. I'll tame this anky and meet up with you.” 
“You shouldn't stay out here on your own,” Gaz interrupted, having clearly been eavesdropping. 
You shrugged. “So someone can volunteer to stay with me,” you said, unbothered. “Won't take three of you long to get everything out of the green drop anyway.” 
“I'll stay,” Gaz immediately offered. 
Price sighed and briefly pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something too quiet for you to understand. He sounded faintly exasperated. “Fine,” he agreed, lowering his hand again. “Soap, Ghost, on me.” He strode ahead, and you whistled the tames to follow him. 
From behind, it was rather fun to see the small herd of creatures following the beleaguered-looking captain. A sentiment Soap seemed to share with you, snickering as he passed. 
“More tames?” Gaz asked after the group had pulled ahead. 
“Ankys are pretty good defense,” you pointed out. “Not sure how much they can carry, but that tail is a good deterrent for a lot of predators.” 
“Not arguing,” he was quick to say, holding out a bag of berries. “Just surprised we're taking the time to do this now, is all.” 
You shrugged, pulling out a dark red berry and rolling it between your fingertips. “Way I see it, we have plenty of time,” you pointed out. “And more tames can't hurt.” 
Gaz nodded, accepting your logic. “So, approach slowly and feed it until it likes you?” He guessed with a little grin. 
You couldn't help your huff of amusement. “Basically,” you agreed. “Keep an eye out and shout if you see trouble.” You left him there, walking over closer to the anky. 
It wasn't a long process to feed, fortunately. The anky was hungry, and eager to take berries even from your hand. By the time the other group had the drop packed away, you had the anky following you, docile as any tame. 
“Anything good in that drop?” You asked as you and Gaz walked up to the rest of the group. 
“A canteen,” Soap answered, holding it up to show you. “And more ammo.” 
“Not bad,” you agreed with a little grin. “I hope the white drop has more good stuff.” 
The white drop seemed to be a bit off the path you'd drawn for the journey, edging closer to the edge of the Pink Ladies’ territory. Hopefully it wouldn't be a problem. Hopefully it would be worth it. 
This time, Gaz stayed next to you as you walked. You didn't mind his company, even when you heard a bit of snickering and hushed murmurs behind you. Soap, at a guess. And maybe Price. 
The white drop was a bit larger than the average drop, and it only took moments to pry the top open. 
The first thing you grabbed happened to be a bundle of incendiary arrows. You whistled lowly, impressed. 
“Hardly ever see these,” you mused, passing them to Soap. “Those could come in handy.” 
The jar of oil went right after the arrows, and your grin felt a little sharp. A little feral, possibly. 
Those arrows would be an excellent way to defend your group, if needed. 
Two more canteens, bigger and heavy-duty, met with your approval. More ammo, for all the weapons. A precious jar of cure-all. Two bags of jerky. And a bola, which you’d never had a chance to use before. 
“That was a good drop,” you said, grinning, very pleased. “Very good drop.” 
“Good to have supplies,” Price agreed, finishing stowing away the last of the extra ammo. 
“Now that this is done, we can keep going.” You didn't bother with taking the crate this time. No need, not if you lot actually got off the island. And building took too long on the road to be helpful. 
Ghost hissed through his teeth. “Got eyes on,” he said suddenly. 
The shift in the men around you was palpable, shoulders drawing up, expressions changing. Gaz shifted so he was half in front of you, physically blocking you. 
You'd be impressed if you weren't trying to peer over his shoulder to see what was ahead. 
Three Painted Ladies stood ahead, basically in the way. Your heart sank. You hadn't dealt much with them, not in a while, but the red dye on their faces and clothes made it clear. The two marked tames behind them made you a little nervous - an anky and a dire bear. You hadn't seen a dire bear in ages. 
You'd forgotten how big they got. 
You breathed in slowly, eyeing the distance between your groups. The Painted Ladies weren't approaching, weren't trying to get closer. Clearly waiting. 
You'd have to go to them. 
“You lot stay here,” you said, quiet but firm. “They won't deal with you.” 
“But–!” Soap started to protest, one hand already on a rifle. 
“No.” You shook your head a little. “They won't talk to you. They'll talk to me.” 
Price looked back at you, calculating. Then he nodded once, firm and steady. “Gaz, keep back, but follow her.” 
You didn't object that time. Having Gaz at your back made you feel better, even if you knew he couldn't help. So you breathed in deep, until the ache of it filled your lungs. 
Then you started forward, projecting confidence you didn't feel.
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glisten-inthedark · 20 hours ago
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I did most of this with voice to text because I’m rushing to get ready lol so sorry if there are any errors 
I’d love for Ted to become aware of all the upside down stuff and have a much harder time processing it than Karen, but ultimately choose to stay behind for his family (maybe a parallel to season one nearly running away before returning to help fight, though I don’t see Ted doing as much damage as Steve does lol)
But specifically, I want there to be some sort of scene where, the entire season Ted has been on the outskirts of some Byler interactions, like any Byler interactions that involve it occurring in front of or partially in front of the rest of the party, but the audience just assumes that Ted being Ted hasn’t noticed or hasn’t picked up on the subtlety of each interaction 
But then after Byler has gotten together, but they haven revealed this to either Karen or Ted yet, there’s a scene where after a battle—maybe protecting the Wheeler house from monsters in which Will was in protecting people/the house/maybe weed gun or some other weapon and protected not just but also maybeor Ted himself but either way was badass and essential to victory— we see Will spending some time with Holly and Karen and maybe the other party members and he’s comforting or making her laugh or drawing with her or something that is showing his caring and comforting and supportive side,
And Mike is watching fondly from the other room when Ted walks up beside him and quietly says, “I see why you love him so much” or “I see why he is so important to you” and even if it’s the latter with a more subtle implication behind his words, Mike still freezes and stares at his father in panic and fear and a tiny little bit of hope, and Ted turns to look at his son and gives a smile that almost looks like a grimace, but it’s Ted so he kind of looks like he hasn’t smiled in a long time and is still getting used to how it feels so it’s not that he’s actually grimacing, it’s just that it takes practice. And he rests a firm hand on Mike’s shoulder and doesn’t say anything else, but Mike starts to smile and nod and then gives his dad a hug which surprises Ted but Ted ultimately returns it with some awkward pets but their firm pets, it just means that he’s out of practice not that he doesn’t care
And now I have to run out the door lol hope this is coherent!
Hello! First of all the sheer dedication to send me this, I could never lmao so don't worry about any typos!
You see, I absolutely love this! Because yes, I also desperately want Ted to become aware of the UD and to know everything his children have been through.
Like, I do feel like the biggest problem of his character is how he's not there for his children or his wife, him learning about all of it and choosing to stay behind would make for an amazing character growth.
I genuinely believe he's going through major changes we just aren't privy to yet, it'd be pretty awesome to Mike to know he can count on his parents especially after everything.
I need this family actually sitting down and talking ngl lmai
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odysseys-blood · 7 months ago
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begging on my hands and knees please pb stop killing your own game its getting quiet in hereeee
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#cliffnotes/.txt#whb#its like#yeah once again i get its a small company#but the way players keep dropping bc of how hostile/predatory its already gotten with paid content#im not going anywhere any time soon but man#ITS AGGRAVATING TO SEE IM SAD ABT IT#like i said when this started in like december its just#it feels like they jumped the gun way too early#no gacha is ever gonna be player friendly i get that too but like#usually they stwrt easing up on f2p content into more paid stuff later#game launched in what october? its april#only half a year and the way i keep seeing less and less is fr sad#and like ik im just a player i dont have the answer but like#if the focus switched from pay for characters to some of the other stuff that was supposed to be implemented by now#text chats/ the seraphim dungeons/ hell even the friends feature#like theres been no word on any of that and im just pulling from the promises announcement made in january#pools already feeling oversaturated for l cards#and its just. it gets real empty feeling real fast now it feels like nothing was rly. planned well if you get me#but idk#its just upsetting to see smthn dying this fast#i wanna have hope but ehhhh...#i rly do wanna wait it out bc im not like a super devoted pb fan#but i found love unholyc when the pandemic first was kicking my ass bc going from being on campus and-#being out all day with friends to being stuck at home was...tough#and the games janky but i liked the chars#same with whb#so like. augh
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aurorashard · 2 months ago
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#i dunno man#everytime i read some new thing about covid and long covid#i just feel like im losing my marbles#im the only one still masking it feels like#nobody at my drs offices wear them even the soecialists#my therapist acts like this is an irrational fear of mine#so i dont talk about it as much#shes happy im not isolating myself. and not full of crippling guilt when i do go out#which is good#i agree with her on that#but. ive been numbering my bags with my n95s since i rewear them a few times#ive been using n95s since i took this job. three years in october#which is wild the longest ive worked in one place is just over a year--all seasonal work or short internships. not because i leave#or get fired/laid off#but im getting down to the end of the alphabet#i dont know what ill do when i do#literally as far as labels but also like. its a lot you know?#im debating trying new mask styles. i wanted to ages ago but hoped. i wouldnt need to wear them for much longer#now it feels like i always will.#so. second best time to plant a tree and all.#i want to get out and make friends and do fun stuff. but it's so fuckibg hard and scary#how can i make friends when i cant relax in small indoor spaces#when i. cant eat out at restaurants (due to food issues and masking)#when inviting people to my house makes me anxious for days#how can i make friends under those circumstances?#im so lonely. and so envious#of my friends who do stuff and gave partners. i want that for me but i cant have it. before it was because i moved. ecery 3-6 months#now its this. is it realky any wonder that i nearly cried reading that fic the other day#when Etho took off his mask. and it was treated so fucking kindly and like the trust geasture it was? that it would be. for me?#maybe trust is the wrong word. i dont know. comfort? feeling safe in a space with someone who respects me and my health?
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undertale-fic-librarby · 3 months ago
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I love being called a librarian.
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technicolorxsn · 7 months ago
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love how there are pretentious video essays that just repeat the book and meander and ramble about house of leaves. it's what zampanó would have wanted. it is not, however, what I want
#anyway i finished the main portion of the book#all i have left is the poems and a few other small things i think? ive read pelafinas letters#im thinking of getting the full book of her letters#but also they severely messed with my head so we'll see#i will say. i do get why ppl say the book is pretentious and frustrating#there was a lot of stuff where i couldnt tell if it was supposed to be satire or if it was genuinely just that dense and pretentious#and a lot of the codes were rly obtuse imo?#like... idk. some of them were super obvious like the sos stuff or pelafina outright saying what to do#but others like. man how am i supposed to know johnny waxing poetic about pussy was coded#i mean that one is also pointed out though much later but i know i missed a lot just like it that werent pointed out#and ive heard theres a lot of shit where the message you get is just danielewski????? which gonna be real. kinda dumb.#but i did also really enjoy the book#there was a lot of stuff in it that was just so compelling or poignant or whatever other word#the minotaur stuff is good (ofc id say that though i love me some minotaur themes)#also a lot of the scenes with johnny just...... christ#idk how ppl say to skip them hes so fascinating#yeah i could do with him talking about his possibly hallucinated sex life a bit less but also his story is just plain interesting#i still think about the part where the girl he was talking to runs over a dog they had picked up........ it was fucking chilling#and his hallucinations of dying are so descriptive in just the right way to get under my skin#the uncertainty with him and his family..... did pelafina try to kill him? did his father just send her away for being a bit too overbearing#over an accident? was there something else? what was the deal with his foster family? with lude? gdansk man and kyrie?#how did it get published? who are the editors? why did the band know of the book before it should have been published?#why does his journal section end with a story from a man he admits to making up completely? the doctor from seattle doesnt exist#the chronological end is more hopeful with him saying things will be okay but then he puts a previous entry after that?#i think the burning of the book parallels the story nicely#johnny said his piece; he nurtured the book as much as he could; but it was hurting him and he had to give up on it#idk!#this book does make me feel a lil dumb ngl
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hyaciiintho · 1 year ago
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🌸。*゚+. If anyone has a nice version of ph*t*sh*p (cracked or not) they're willing to share with me, I would be forever grateful. I got hit with the "You're using an unlicensed version--" message and I can't use mine anymore c': and I can't remember where I had gotten mine and will need to filter through a bunch of... questionable links to find it again online.
So if anyone has a link to a trusted downloaded, I would appreciate it a ton!
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lunarhoneybunny · 1 year ago
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sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys
#lunar bunny chatter#my horniness has been fluctuating the last day or so and it's definitely because of my period. this morning was crazy#i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr#and i just went to look at some text posts and now that i look back. dude i have such an atrocious daddy/mommy kink it's actually funny#i mean. i really like the idea of being an appealing figure and my criteria for who i call daddy is so specific. there's just two people#that fall into that category but i don't like the other person as much as the other one. hi sorry for being gay i need this off of my chest#also hanging out with some friends and im so bad at comebacks and all that. how the fuck am i gonna top without stuttering and fumbling#and forgetting words.... that's my biggest worry. it doesn't help that i get super chatty when nervous but maybe i can work it in my favor#i wanna try out the title stuff just to test the waters before going absolutely ham. maybe as a cute joke i'll go “oh sure w/e u say daddy”#“lol haha” but it just seems real fun. i think it's hot too but. yeah it's a lot to unpack ahaha.#i still have a lot of guilt for talking dirty and being more brave when talking but that's just because i always felt like i didn't have...#the right to explore that especially when a lot of people i knew back then thought of me as “pure and innocent girl” and like. yeah fuck no#this was a really meandering ramble but my point: “daddy hot mommy hot i wanna explore that and im also nervous about stuff”#i do genuinely enjoy when i get in the mood though especially with someone i trust and like. click with? i hope that isn't too much to say#but it feels very natural and i don't have to force or hide anything. i just need a bit more confidence ahaha#that's all the rambling i got in me im gonna listen to some classic music from latin artists because im silly and mildly sentimental rn.
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sanguinaryrot · 1 year ago
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I’m so excited. I know how to have one (1) extremely specific interaction in Irish now. someone ask me how I’m doing and what the weather is like quick /j
#looking into tapping into things I have been curious about in the past#(this happens every once in a while)#again. my family is Irish so I decided the learn the language#but I’m also exploring spirituality#I don’t think I believe in any of the major religions (though I’ve been standing from afar gazing at Judaism#I am extremely fond of a lot of their ideas and culture. beautiful stuff#and frankly I feel like I’ve been getting signs that I should convert for years now#but I’m not in a place where I feel like I can commit to it so I am just admiring from afar#while I foster what I think ‘god’ is#there’s this concept that some people have that like#god is not a dude who has a beard and lives in the clouds#but rather is the feeling you get when you connect with another person#the sense of wonder you feel when you see something beautiful#and I think perhaps even the ability to hope/wish/manifest/pray/etc something into existence#my mom calls this ‘energy’ but I do not vibe with this term#idk how to explain it other than like#when you’re watching a movie and you see those lines they draw to represent wind and it’s blowing around leaves#or snow#and it’s meant to represent this idea that there is Something affecting the word but it is not corporeal and incredibly vague#that’s what I believe in#it is unknowable but it can be influenced with good intentions#and it permeates your body when you connect to another human in a meaningful way#that’s what it’s like for me. doesn’t have to be for you! but that’s what I’m working with right now#there’s this prayer that saint augustine wrote that I edited lightly to more suit my needs#and I try to say it once a day#I believe it is called Watch O Lord#I edited some of the words to more suit how I view the world but I really like the intention#anyways#Tá sé fuad ach tá sé tirim. It is cold but it is dry. thank you New York!!!!!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous#but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to#water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means#i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop#which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for#work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot#but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the#offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to#do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably#instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol#srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow#that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge#demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who#to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an#apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things#but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away#and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires#in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up.#but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like#its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things#and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u#do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey#did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im#afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th#then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it#all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate#myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol#also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in#my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever#unrelated
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