#i just have no interest in being a parent

[acid-ixx]

if you guys are interested, send in an ask or comment!

will anybody be willing to hear out neglected child reader who was another one of zeus's bastard children. you're out there chasing for your stepmother (hera's attention), whilst zeus just lets you run around without his care, clearly too wrapped up in his affairs. your other siblings aren't as good to you, too, thinking another half-deity isn't worth their time—

so you'd give up, pretty much choosing to bestow the mortal world with your presence instead; because if you can't be loved by your own family, then let yourself be worshipped by passionate mortals instead.

how about romancing telemachus? what if you both learn what it's like navigating through his godly favor with athena, and you with your own powers? what if you have odysseus and penelope be the actual parent-figures you always wanted? their overprotectiveness skyrockets every time you propose to being elsewhere in ithaca, to the point you forget that it's you who has the godly powers to oppose, but how could you when a darker side of them appears every time you allow yourself to be disrespected within their palace?

how about in another place? what are you to many of the great warriors, if not for a forgotten, yet mysterious and whimsical deity? why is your name muttered in all the regions? surely, with just how much you deny your god-like origins, but still manage to capture the hearts of hundreds of suitors, you'd gain quite the infamous name despite your closed-off attitude.

imagine enough attention was garnered on your presence, that that's what was needed for them to finally notice you? but you're not quite the same child who used to pull on their robes, or look at them as brightly as the sun— no, now you deny them of any of your love. your mother, hera, finally sees you and urges you to return to olympus away from the prying eyes of many suitors and back into the domain of safety. she calls you her baby, fuzzing over you even when you openly and spitefully try to rip her hands away from fixing your 'messy' robes. zeus isn't any better, now he calls you sweet names and pretend like he hadn't actively bashed on you for your weakness back when you were begging on his throne for just a sliver of attention? he wants you to sit in between his throne and hera's? you're significantly smaller than him, he's gigantic in nature, and it doesn't help that he treats you like you could be easily squashed by him (which is every damn right possible, and it's intimidating and makes you want to cry).

and there's the issue with the others, too. so many of them used to deny you in favor of focusing on their own domains. now apollo wants to carry you off in one of his chariots to ride off the skies with him while he plays his lyre to you? artemis wants to teach you the way of the hunt under the dark, gloomy skies you used to wish under for a moment of their time? aphrodite used to spitefully shut you out of her own doors, but now she invites you in her room to gossip and play pretend while she coos and braids your hair?

and all the other gods, now wanting to take you away from the underserving - as they say it - mortal realm? that the people who built sculptures of you, who held you more lovingly more than those you grew up with, aren't worthy of your divine presence?

what a joy to be a being looming between the lines of mortal and divine, right?

a/n: this concept is better off and more coherent in my head i swear. now i don't often diverge from my main fandom, but the similarities between this and the yan! batfam is quite hilarious to me that ngl i want to make a crossover of it. and yes, this is me coping with the stress of having to deal with the sudden influx of hate in the yan! dc community, so i'm taking a short break from it to focus on this.

[lorynna]

the problem is that those non-permanent phases lead to permanent damage by adults taking those kids too seriously and giving them hormone-blockers and even making them go through HRT and surgeries.

And don't tell me that this doesn't happen. Jazz Jennings is a famous example of this. Diagnosed as trans at age 4? Where he wasn't showing any sign of puberty that could have made him express body disphoria about the sexual characteristic of his male body?

And why is that?? Did he play with barbie dolls and showed little to no interest in cars or "boy toys"? Did he prefer the color pink to blue? Did he prefer "girly" clothing over "boy's clothes"?

"Around the house, I was pretty much allowed to wear whatever I wanted. I’d steal my sister Ari’s oversize pink or purple T-shirts and wobble around the kitchen in dress-up heels covered in feathers. (In fact, I first started wearing those heels back when I was still in diapers.) My parents were cool about it but drew the line at going out in public dressed in girls’ stuff. Mom would put me in shorts styled for boys, and I’d scream and cry as she dragged me to the car. I didn’t just like girly clothing—I felt ashamed and humiliated if I had to wear anything else."

"During Grandma Jacky’s visits, I’d do things like put on a blond wig and a bra over my clothes while brushing my mom’s hair. One day when Grandma Jacky took me shopping and she told me I could pick out a toy, I headed straight to the Barbie aisle. In my child’s mind I remember it as a wall of pink that seemed to go right to the top of the ceiling and stretch the length of the store in either direction. I was allowed to pick a doll instead of the G.I. Joe figure Grandma Jacky knew I wouldn’t want anyway. "

"Dr. Marilyn pulled out two stuffed dolls that looked like fake Cabbage Patch Kids you’d find on the counterfeit toy market, with an important difference—they were anatomically correct. She asked what I had between my legs, and I pointed to the penis. She then asked what I wanted, and I pointed to the vagina. That was the first day I ever heard the word “transgender.” I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of relief that there was finally a word that described me—a girl who had accidentally been born into a boy’s body."

- Being Jazz: My Life as a (Transgender) Teen (2016)

“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.

[fungateshortcakes]

The Best There Is (according to Laura)

I had two old man Logan x reader fics in my drafts but decided to connect them because it made more sense to me. This old man being domestic just does it for me Ughh

Pairing: oldman!Logan x fem!reader

Summary: Parenting comes with challenges Logan never thought he would have to face in his old age; like school drop offs, nosy teachers and career day disasters

Wordcount: 2.8k

Warnings/tags: english is not my first language, age-gap, established relationship, Logan 2017 ending never happened, domestic fluff, violence mentioned, Prisoners 2013 reference, it's just cute old man dad Logan please let me have this, !!!not proofread!!!

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Laura hated school. She had never gone to school before and she was fine, but after Logan and you had taken her under your wing, you put her in a school for her 'education'.

The only thing she needed to be educated in was survival. She hated sitting in a chair for hours, trying to keep still so she wouldn't get scolded. She hated the dumb questions teachers asked, their dumb faces while they got frustrated that the class didn't understand. And She hated math.

But most of all?

She hated that Logan had to pick her up every damn day. Not because of Logan himself or because she wanted to prove that she could walk home on her own, but because every time Logan stepped foot into the classroom to get her-

that one teacher wouldn’t leave him alone.

Her name was Miss Dover. She was pretty, blonde, and always smiling way too much when Logan arrived. She touched his arm, she laughed at things he didn’t mean to be funny.

And Laura?

Laura wanted to throw her backpack at her face. Or get her claws out, but Logan didn’t allow her

Logan already regretted agreeing to pick Laura up every day after the first time he had done so. Of course not because of Laura, but because of Miss Dover. Today was no different. The second he stepped onto the school grounds, surrounded by students who reminded him of the old times in the mansion, there she was.

“Mr. Howlett!” she called out to him in a too friendly manner, flipping her hair over her shoulder to show off. “Right on time, as always.” she smiled and to Logan, it looked like it hurt. He sighed. Here we go.

He only grunted in response, crossing his arms. Don’t engage. Keep it short. Get out.

Miss Dover, of course, ignored all of that. And she was in no way repelled because of Logans clear lack of interest in her. “You know” she started, biting her lip as she looked up at him, “I think it’s so sweet that you take the time to pick Laura up every day. A lot of dads just send a babysitter. I find that very admirable and...amazing”

Logan barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. “Well, she’s my kid.” he deadpanned. He was supposed to pick her up from school, so he did. It was the bare minimum, no need to make a fuss over something that was so self-evident.

Miss Dover beamed at him even after his discouraging answer. “That’s wonderful! A family man.” Logans eye twitched at that. He needed to get Laura and leave. Now.

Laura watched them from the steps of the school entrance, arms crossed over her chest, her pink glasses sitting on top of her head. She glanced at you, who stood beside her, smirking. Logan had begged you to come when he picked up Laura so he could prove to you how persistent and stubborn that one teacher was when it came to flirting with him.

“Should we save him?” you asked the girl beside you. For the record, you weren't jealous. Why would you be? You knew Logan loved you and didn't have eyes for anyone else, if anything, you were pretty amused by his misery. Laura shrugged at your question. “He deserves it.” you snorted a laugh, she had a point “Yeah, but we need him in one piece."

With a sigh, Laura slung her backpack over her shoulder, slipped down her sunglasses so they covered her eyes and marched towards Logan. Miss Dover was still going on about something, being awfully handsy while Logan was so obviously uncomfortable, when Laura reached them. She grabbed Logans sleeve, pulling at it. “Can we go now?” she asked Logan, paying no mind to her teacher. Miss Dovers eyes softened and she let out a coo “Aww. Looks like someone is eager to get home with Daddy” upon her words, Laura stared at her with an unreadable expression. Then, very clearly, very loudly, she said:

“He is married”

Miss Dover blinked. Logan groaned but was silently relieved. It wasn’t the way he thought Miss Dover would find out, but in the end he was glad. Laura pointed directly at you as you approached from the steps. “To her”

Miss Dovers smile dropped as she followed to where Laura pointed. You, meanwhile, finally stepped closer, grinning. “Hi” you greeted cheerfully with a wave, slipping your arm around Logans “I’m his wife” you confirmed with a nod. And judging by Miss Dovers expression, you knew she thought you didn't fit into the family, that you didn't even look like Lauras mom, that you looked way too young and you were overall not a good match in her opinion. You could tell she was about to gossip over this in the teachers lounge. But you couldn’t care less.

Logan exhaled in relief as he felt you settling beside him. Miss Dover turned red. Out of embarrassment or anger, you couldn't tell. Probably the latter. “Oh, I...I had no idea-" she stammered, averting eyecontact and taking a step back, her hand playing with the fabric of her skirt.

“Yeah” Laura said flatly. “Can we go now?”

Logan didn’t wait to answer her. He turned on his heel and walked away, practically dragging you and Laura with him. The three of you walked to his truck in silence. Logan ran a hand down his face as he threw Lauras backpack into the car. “Finally" he grunted as he sat down behind the steering wheel.

You laughed at him “She really doesn’t get the hint, huh?” you noted. Logan twisted the key, rubbing his temples while he drove out of the parking lot. “I swear, next time-”

“Next time” Laura interrupted from behind “you are sending her to pick me up”

Logan frowned, looking through the rear-view mirror at her “Why?”

Laura buckled her seatbelt “Because then she will know you are taken for real. She probably thinks this was a joke or something"

You laughed at that, leaning against Logan. “She’s right, you know. That woman looked like she wasn’t believing her ears when I said I was your wife. You said she was being persistent, I don’t think she will take this seriously” you chuckled, giving his rugged cheek a kiss. Logan sighed defeated "Yeah, yeah” he answered, putting a hand on your thigh while rounding a corner. “Maybe next time, you pick her up”

You grinned, laying your hand over his. He was a little tense. You knew why. He didn't know if you were jealous, maybe you were a little mad but didn't show it. "I'm not jealous, if you think that. Not at all"

Logan raised an eyebrow. Then he looked at you - really looked at you. At the way you fit so perfectly against him. At the way your eyes sparkled with mischief, teasing him. At the way your hand rested over his, like it belonged there. And when he turned his hand to grasp yours tightly, he was holding his heart in his palm. Yeah. You weren't jealous. Because he was yours. And you were his. And nothing was ever going to change that.

Not even when Laura stood in front of Logan a week later, her arms crossed, staring him down despite him clearly towering over her.

“You have to come”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do”

Logan sighed, rubbing his temples. They had been at this back and forth game for like 10 minutes now “Why?” he grumbled. “Because it’s career day” Laura answered flatly.

He gave her a look that said he cursed the way she was just as stubborn as him “Yeah? So?” he muttered lowly and shrugged. Laura huffed and rolled her eyes. “So” she said, already looking exhausted over the argument “everyone has to bring a parent to talk about their job”

Laura really wanted him to come. Mostly because she was always the black sheep in her class when it came to telling stories, showing emotions and just simply existing. She was different than the other kids, and after what happened to her, she had every right to be. The others picked on her more often than not and while she wanted to let her claws speak for her, Logan had strictly forbidden it. So all she could do was listen to them. It was draining. She just wanted to be normal for once.

Logan knew that, yet he scowled, picking up a can of beer from the fridge "Tell ‘em I’m dead.” he said between chugging down the bitter liquid.

You were sitting on the couch and as you heard their conversation, you couldn't help but snort.

Laura didn’t blink, unfazed “You have to come.”

Logan glared down at her, hating just how much she was like him. He was about to tell her to fuck off and go to her room, but he sighed “Kid, no one wants to hear me talk about drivin' a damn limo.”

Laura shrugged at that, turning on her heel. “Too bad.” she said. And just like that, Logan lost the argument.

And thats how Logan found himself sitting at the front of the classroom, arms crossed, scowl in full force. You stood at the back with a few other parents, your eyes fixated on him. It was fun, seeing him so annoyed. But it also warmed your heart- he sat next to Laura, sitting way taller than she was, his long legs barely fitting under the table. The two were bickering, poking each other back and forth before Laura leaned her head against his shoulder, his arm around her securely. He was it for you. Yes, you were married, but you'd marry him again in a heartbeat.

There were parents that had already gone before him. Firefighters, doctors, a lawyer. A police man sat down in his seat again after his presentation. And now it was Logans turn.

Great.

With a grunt, he stood up, slightly limping over to the blackboard. He could already feel the judgy stares of the other parents. Laura gave him a small thumbs up, and so did you.

Miss Dover, the teacher yes, that one, smiled at Logan “Alright, Mr. Howlett, why don’t you tell us what you do for a living?” she cheered.

Logan exhaled slowly.

"…I drive a limo.”

Silence.

Some of the kids blinked. A couple of parents exchanged unimpressed glances. Then one kid raised his hand. “Like… for famous people?” the young boy asked, looking a bit intimidated by Logans frown.

“Sometimes.” Logan grunted as an answer. Another kid raised her hand, bolder and more confident than her classmahe “What’s the coolest person you ever drove?”

Logan grimaced at her question, but what was he supposed to do? “A drunk guy who puked in my backseat” he replied, looking at his feet while silence spread through the room again. Miss Dover cleared her throat, the tension in the air was awkward “Oh! well, uhm..does your job have any…exciting parts?” she stuttered out, the eyes of the other parents resting on her as if to ask: why the hell did you allow him to come?

Logan stared at her, the question heavy in the room. Did she really want him to tell a bunch of ten year olds about the times he got into fistfights and gun battles with passengers?

“…Not really” he muttered.

From the back, you smiled. You knew exactly what was happening. Logan wasn’t embarrassed about his job, nor did he care about what these people thought. But he cared about Laura. And right now? He felt bad that her dad was a limo driver while other kids got to brag about firefighters and surgeons and stuff.

Your chest ached.

Because he didn’t get it. Laura didn’t care about any of that, she just wanted her dad.

Miss Dover clapped her hands, her cheeks red in slight embarrassement. “Well, let’s open the floor for more questions!” she welcomed the classroom.

Big mistake.

A mom from the third row, blonde, red lipstick, way too interested, raised her hand “So, Mr. Howlett” she started, smiling too much, “do you work long hours?” she nearly purred. Logan tensed a little, rubbing his beard “…I guess.”

Another mom, brunette, twirling her curls around her fingers in a flirty manner, leaned forward. “Must be tough coming home late all the time. Bet it gets lonely.”

You bit your lip, amused, but also a little sorry for the kids that had to witness their moms shamelessly thirst over another kids dad. Laura rolled her eyes and Logan scowled “I’m not lonely.”

The blonde mom giggled, biting her bottom lip “Yeah, I bet with me you wouldn't be” she purred. Jesus, what as up with these women??

Logans jaw clenched in annoyance. He didn't understand how these women could just full on flirt with him while their children were there. Besides that, he, Laura and you had arrived later than everyone else and he had kissed you before sitting down, surely they noticed that? Apparently not, not even the obvious ring on his finger seemed to catch their attention.

You, meanwhile, just waited. Because any second now-

“He’s married.” Laura deadpanned, her arms crossed, saving him yet again.

The brunette mom blinked “Oh” she mumbed, her face burning red. The blonde mom hesitated. "really..?”

Logan, already done with everything, just pointed at you in the back of the room. Every head turned and in any other situation, this would have you highly uncomfortable. But you just grinned. “Hi Ladies” you greeted them. You walked forward to the blackboard, smiling at the way their jealous stares bore into the back of your head. You could tell the women were fuming over the fact that you bagged such a handsome man, but Logan knew only you could truly appreciate him. "We should try and advertise our marriage" you giggled.

Logan grumbled, wrapping an arm around your waist protectively. You smirked up at him, fixing his loose tie “Maybe you should start to wear a sign.” you teased him even more. He rolled his eyes at you “Shut up" he mumbled, but his grip on you tightened. Because you were his. And he wanted to show that.

You didn't even wait for the other parents to have their turn at presenting their jobs. You just took Laura and went out of there, walking back to Logans truck. “That was hell.” he sighed, letting himself fall behind the wheel with a grunt.

You laughed as you closed your door from the passenger seat, slipping your hand into his “You survived"

“Barely.”

Laura climbed into the truck behind you two, buckling her seatbelt “Next time, I’m bringing her” she said, pointing at you. Logan frowned at that, the engine purring to life “What, so she can brag about…what? Painting? Making fun of me?” he grinned smugly, making you want to wipe that smirk off his face.

You returned the grin “I could have given them a whole presentation on how sexy my husband is.” you hummed, leaning in close to his face, your noses touching. Logan chuckled, the sound rich in his chest "Oh, yeah?” he muttered gravelly, leaning in to give you a deep, wet, noisy kiss.

Laura made a gagging noise.

You pulled back with a laugh and Logan turned towards the road as he started driving, a satisfied smile on his lips. You glanced at Laura in the backseat. “So?” you asked. “Were you embarrassed?

She blinked at your question, her brows furrowed, making her look so much like Logan “What?”

You gestured toward Logan next to you, then looked back at her “That your dad is a limo driver.” you stated simply, matter of factly. Lauras frown deepened, like the question itself was stupid. “No.” she said flatly.

Logan glanced at her through the rear view mirror, his brow cocked. "That right?” he asked her, feeling a soft smile creeping onto his lips. She shrugged, looking out the window. “You pick me up every day. You don’t talk too much. You don’t smell weird. You’re fine.”

Your heart swelled and you aww'ed at the two. "Great review, kid.” Logan huffed, but you knew he was feeling proud inside. Laura pulled a juice box from her bag and for a moment, the car was silent.

“Better than the other dads.”

Logan swore his heart just did a giddy flip “Yeah?” he asked, as if he had just heard her wrong. Your expression was soft as you looked at him, your hands curling around his.

Laura nodded wordlessly. And just like that, Logan realized it didn’t matter what he did for work, what he had done in the past. It didn’t define him entirely. Because Laura?

Laura was just happy he was her dad.

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idk how these career days work, I am not american and never had one, I don’t even know if they are that popular im sorry😭

I still have a few unfinished requests in store, i am so sorry everything is taking so long. But, next post will be a very long smut, so be ready😌

[arrowthrewme]

Hello! Once again, I cannot believe that my three characters have been loved by so many people (or that I've already gained 20 something followers!!!) thank you <33

WARNING: Yandere behaviour, male reader intended

Green Green Dress

Yan Jock, who you meet during his practice. You volenteered to bring water to the school's rugby team. He was the team's leader, praising the team for their hard work.

Yan Jock, who stops dead in his tracks when he sees you. He swears he felt his heart stop and start in one second. It was weird...

Yan Jock, who introduces himself soothly ("Stephen at your service, delivery boy ;)") all while his heart beats inside his heart like war drum

Yan Jock, who, from that day on, invites you to his table and sits next to you during lunch (you sadly don't share any classes). He chats to you about practice, his friends and family and whatever else he finds interesting enough

Yan Jock, who you form a friendship with! Well, at least that's how you view it. Stephen views it as a challenge and a punishment. No boy should look so attractive! So why do his eyes wander your body like he does the girls in the school...?

Yan Jock, who is just a dumb little buffed up puppy who is realising that maybe the way he looks at muscular men isn't fully platonic

Yan Jock, who, as you get closer, starts to treat you like he did the past girls he's dated. Giving you his jersey, putting his arm around your shoulders, asking for a good luck hug (it's supposed to be a kiss, but he can't :c)

Yan Jock, who really loves dancing. It's a basically fun exercise. He's not good in the professional sense, but he's still good! (100% asks you to dance when you two start dating, maybe even before)

Yan Jock, who glares dagers at anyone who approaches you with romantic intent (mind you, everything that isn't formal is considered romantic intent by him) before wrapping his arm around you and kindly (threatiningly) tells the other person to fuck off.

Yan Jock, who isn't above punching the person, but doesn't want you to be mad at him

Yan Jock, who melts when you two finally kiss. It wasn't at a big moment. No big game. No party. Just you two walking around your hometown. He leaned down to hear you better and you had enough of the dancing around he's been doing for months and kissed him. Safe to say he will be asking for kisses every day (he's not taking no for an answer)

Yan Jock, who physically holds you back from going somewhere. He's stronger than you. A lot stronger. So when he doesn't want you going somewhere, he will throw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and happily skip away to cuddle under the bleachers. Stephen is the type of partner who asks to come with you to the bathroom

Yan Jock, who hates when someone yells at him or expresses their disappointment. He can't handle it. Stephen has been the "Golden boy" for so long. He can't lose that. So, if you ever want him to let go of you just use that! Don't worry, a little kiss on the lips will cheer the jock right up!

Yan Jock, who has the most perfect ass. Some of the girls at your school are jealous. And some guys question their sexualities because of it. And you? Oh, you're enjoying the whole damn bakery every day (not like Stephen minds)

Yan Jock, who, when meeting your parents, acts all anxious and worried, but that doesn't last long. 10 minutes later, he is talking with your dad about all types of sports while complimenting your mother's decor choices. He knocks it out of the park! You knew he would! (Stephen is definitely asking your dad for your hand in marriage. That's not negotiable for him.)

Yan Jock, who daydreams about having the picture-perfect family with you after school. White picket fence, a good home in a friendly neighbourhood with a huge backyard where your two kids and dog can run around in. Oh, it's the dream!

Yan Jock, who will carry you through life. He's trained all his life!...If only that emo nerd you insist on being friends with would just piss off already, then it would all be perfect...

[sorceressofthesky]

Something I find really compelling about Zaundads is the fact that you can clearly see the division between their ideologies in the way they show their love. When Silco and Vander were still a pair, Silco loved Vander for his brutality. He loved Vander because he was angry at the world; because he was fierce and tenacious and capable of devastating violence. He respected Vander's willingness to fight for the cause and his loyalty to their shared ideals. And we know from Silco's parenting of Jinx that when he loves someone, he uses them. That's not to say this is a good or bad thing, but just an observation. He loves people for the potential he sees in them - in Vander, it's his capacity for violence, and in Jinx, it's her capacity for chaos and destruction - and a big part of how he shows love is by fostering that potential. Creating the means and motivation to use it. He lives by the notion that "there's a monster inside all of us", which started with his perception Vander, and extended to Jinx later on. He sees a monster in himself too, but he's not a naturally violent person, so he surrounds himself with people who he does see as strong and capable, and channels his indignation through the people he trusts most.

Meanwhile, when Vander loves someone, he's gentle with them. He has this innate protective instinct that drives him, and he's capable of summoning his brutal side when his world is under threat, but his default is care and affection. With his kids, it comes out mostly in the form of guidance; being a calm voice of reason when it's needed. We don't see it as much with Silco given the lack of insight into their past, but we do have hints of it in the flashback - with both Silco and Felicia. Silco already has a bowl of soup and a cup at the start of the scene, which, based on context clues, were most likely prepared for him by Vander. Vander also pours drinks for the three of them, and upon finding out that Felicia is pregnant, he replaces hers with a non-alcoholic option. His automatic response to her distress is to comfort and console her ("you're going to be a great mother"). In contrast, Silco listens silently for most of the conversation, and contributes in the only way he knows how - by agreeing to continue the fight for Zaun, no matter the cost.

And I think, ultimately, this would have always created a division between Vander and Silco. Whether or not Felicia and Connol were killed in the explosion. Whether or not the kids were even in the picture. It was inevitable that somewhere down the line, Silco would keep pushing the limits, and he would reach one that Vander couldn't exceed. Felicia's death might have been the catalyst for the betrayal, but it seems like the ideological rift ran a lot deeper than that - particularly noting the line from Vander in S1E3; "You had my respect, the Lanes' respect, but that... that was never enough for you." The phrasing makes it sound like he was already fed up with just how far Silco was willing to go for justice.

Vander regretted the violent way he went about the split, but I don't get the impression that he ever regretted the actual decision to part ways with Silco. Which actually creates another interesting contrast in itself, because Silco's perspective was the complete opposite. Silco had already forgiven Vander for the drowning incident by the time they met up again. The murder attempt was brutal, and Silco is unquestionably traumatised by it, but he never stopped respecting Vander, nor does he ever ask why he did it. Because that isn't the part he's hung up on. He understands why Vander went about the betrayal in such a vicious manner. Anger and violence were what he loved about Vander in the first place, and as such, Vander trying to drown him was consistent with everything Silco knew and respected about him. The Vander he didn't understand was the one who gave up on fighting out of fear of what he might lose, and that was the Vander he resented.

Reconciliation is definitely possible between them, and that's clear even without regarding the S2E7 AU, because it happens in the main timeline. Silco is given a choice between his dream and Jinx, and the first place he goes to deliberate is the Vander statue, because finally, he does understand. He understands why Vander bent to the Enforcers' will just to keep his kids safe. But he only understands it because, by that point, he's lived it himself. In an alternate timeline scenario, if Silco were to forgive Vander, there would need to be some other catalyst that triggers that understanding. It would take a lot more than simply reading an apology letter - not because of how terrible the apology was, but because Vander was apologising for the wrong thing.

[annoyinglyhardsong]

I have seen so much discourse recently about this idea and of people wanting algorithms and like/dislike for fanfic, and that is such a wild idea to me.

I grew up in a low SES rural family in the midwest. We didn’t have a lot, but one thing that was always important to my parents, especially my mother was literacy. We always had books in my house. Tons of them. And if we didn’t have it we went to our local library almost weekly to supplement our bookshelves. And I remember being an early teen/tween and trying to figure out what to read and my mom saying something along the lines of, “just pick something that looks interesting, read the back or check out the blurb, and if it seems interesting read it and if not put it back. The worst that can happen is you check it out, get a few pages in and decide you hate it and return it.” And it was something that stuck with me. There was never any pressure to finish a book or article or whatever if i was reading it for fun, and there wasn’t and still isn’t a consequence for deciding I didn’t like a book and not finishing it. It doesn’t mean the book is bad, it’s just not for me.

When I discovered fanfiction I treated it the same way. To this day if I come across something and it vibes with me I’ll try it and if it isn’t my cup of tea, oh well. I can go back to the results list and try again. But just because I don’t like it, doesn’t mean someone else won’t come along and enjoy it. The only punishment for reading a fic you don’t like, is the one you give yourself by reading it. We’re all unique humans with complex tastes and interests. You see it how we express ourselves and what we eat and what media we consume. But we can’t whitewash everything just because it doesn’t fit one specific genre of what someone likes. It would be like going down a cereal aisle and only having corn flakes.

Writing and fan media is art just like any other main stream publicized art and choice of consumption should be similar. If you don’t like thriller novels, you wouldn’t pick one up and expect to enjoy it. But that doesn’t mean thrillers shouldn’t be allowed to be published. It’s the same with fanfiction and other fan media.

Idk, just, be good humans. And only say stuff/leave comments if you’d feel okay with having someone say it to you.

decidedly unfriendly reminder that fanfiction is written by real people with real feelings for free in their free time. it's a labour of love and something to cherish. if you come across a fic that you don't enjoy, that's totally fine, but it is your due diligence as a fellow fan and decent human being to click away. leaving mean comments, absurd rating systems or harassing writers in their inbox while hiding behind an anonymous icon is not an acceptable manner to behave in any fandom and online space ever. it's disgustingly entitled, wildly disrespectful and only serves to discourage people from sharing their writing in a community that is meant to be fun and supportive. the next time you read something you don't enjoy, stop reading it and move on with your day. read something you like and leave kudos and a nice comment there instead. have some common sense and don't be a fucking asshole. it's not that fucking difficult.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

curious about your take on riddle's dream. i have seen people en masse claim that riddle yearns to a deliquent/"if he wasn't traumatized, he would be in a pop music club" and... it feels like such a literal interpretation (although there are some who are obv just joking) to the point of misinterpretation? i'm not very invested in riddle's story arc, but to me it read like a pretty clear "what if i was the worst version of myself (which riddle has been raised to see as being disobedient) and i was still loveable".

[You can read my thoughts on the book 7 chapter 12 part 3 update here!]

I think there’s a lot of different ways to interpret the dreams because of how… vaguely they’re written + their length + every player coming into the dreams with their own experiences which inform their POVs. For this reason, I don’t feel comfortable outright stating X or Y interpretation is “wrong”, and nor do I wish to be used as a means to validating one interpretation over the others. All I’m going to do this ask is explain how I personally interpreted Riddle’s dream. That’s all.

I don’t think Riddle wants to be a delinquent; this would be conflating a child’s desires to that of a delinquent. Yes, Riddle was detained be a police officer—but not for any violence or serious criminal actions. He was detained for singing in front of the police station (without a license) and causing a public disturbance (because of his amplifiers). Furthermore, Riddle doesn’t engage in any other criminal behaviors (unless you count not going to school, but a minor isn’t usually held liable for that; the onus is on his parents for not sending him). I think it would be more accurate to say that Riddle’s wishes are very child-like ones. He wants to be able to play with his friends all day, he ignores studying and obeying rules, he can eat tarts and drink sugary tea whenever he wants, he has doting parents that are always emotionally there for him, etc. These are not marks of delinquency, they are the innocent longings of an inner child that never got to be recognized.

While I don’t think it’s a guarantee that Riddle would be in Pop/Light Music Club had he had a more lenient mother, I do think that Riddle would want to explore creative outlets. He is noted as having a very strong imagination, but is limited in his life experiences and struggles to think for himself or to act outside of the concrete, as is defined by rules and laws. If these restraints were loosened up and he had actually been allowed and encouraged to explore other avenues, he might have found an interest in the arts and expressing himself through that. It could be a visual medium, a written medium, a musical medium, whatever.

I think music is what we jump to right away because he has a band in the dream, but I could easily see him dabbling in other areas too. Maybe music was chosen because it’s a group activity, and Riddle longs to be that setting. A happy family, a boy with lots of friends, you name it. You could also argue that Riddle went with music because that’s what he knew from his dorm members. Adeuce are in athletic clubs, which Riddle is sort of rubbish at, and Trey is in Science Club, which of course covers topics Riddle would already be studying irl. Cater’s club is the only one with a significant degree of creativity allowed. Riddle might have based his hobby in the dream off of Cater’s experiences. One telltale detail that supports this theory is that Riddle mentions people keep leaving because the band can’t stick to one genre, which is also true of Cater’s irl Pop/Light Music Club. Another thing to consider is that Riddle is able to conjure the look of delicious cakes and cookies but not replicate the taste because he’s not familiar with it. You could say this is also true of his being in a band. He looks the part, but we never hear him participating in it—perhaps because Riddle could have seen Cater rushing to a club meeting in his outfit, but not have actually heard him play. Therefore, it’s possible that Riddle’s dream is just pulling from his shallow understanding of what “being in a band” is about… the camaraderie of it. This, again, loops us back to Cater’s relationship with his fellow club members. It’s less about the actual playing and more about the vibes and hanging out with one another. Maybe Riddle heard stories from Cater about this and got curious? This same logic applies to other aspects of his dream. He seems to emulate what he has heard from his dorm members in general. Loving parents who are there for him (like Trey), the bout of delinquency (like Deuce), the ability to speak his mind (like Ace). Riddle is wanting to be more like his peers, who were able to have “normal” experiences. To me, it feels like he used his dorm members as templates (which he combined with his own desire to have a fulfilling childhood) because Riddle himself doesn’t have a clear concept of what it means to live freely. After all, he only has like 1-2 months of playing with Trey and Chenya to go off of compared to a few years with his Heartslabyul classmates.

As I said earlier in this post, I don’t think the Riddle we see in the first layer of his dream is meant to be “the worst version of himself” or “Riddle but disobedient”; it reads as more of Riddle indulging in everything he missed out on in his childhood. Sweets, parental love, playing all day with friends, loudly and openly expressing himself through music, exploring creative ventures, making happy memories… I don’t believe these are bad things or borne out of Riddle wanting to be rebellious or disobedient, they’re just consequences of acting like a kid.

I do find it interesting that so many aspects of himself were entirely written over. However, I don’t see it as Riddle thinking he has to be a different person (as in, having a different personality?) in order to be worthy of love. Riddle was definitely still able to make friends as a child even with the quiet personality he had then. It was possible. Nothing in his backstory makes me think Riddle believes he wasn’t deserving of love—but he may think that love has to be earned, that love is conditional. And what is that condition? Following the rules, obeying, performing well in exams. That’s what he was taught would earn him success and his mother’s love and that’s what he enforced in early book 1. I think… Riddle definitely wants to be someone else, but in the sense that he wants to be born into different circumstances. Parents that get along, a dad that has time for him, a mom that dotes on him, no magic, no expectations to shoulder, lax rules, etc. This ties in with Riddle wanting to live the childhood he feels he never had. A childhood where he had no friends, where he studied all the time, where his mother calorie counted for him, where he was not allowed to play video games or watch movies, where he was not allowed to choose his own clothes or career or anything. Several of these sentiments were expressed post-OB.

Now that being said, everything I just discussed covers only the first layer of Riddle’s dream. I see the idea of Riddle thinking he has to be someone else coming through a little stronger in the second layer of his dream. That’s the part where everyone is being chased through the destroyed rose maze. Here, we see a much more extreme and even more domineering Riddle than what we saw in book 1. He lords over his students such that even his versions of Ace and Deuce have fallen into line and mindlessly follow his commands. The mob students are scared of him—and though Riddle is aware of it, he is content. They salute him and praise him for his iron fist. He is the most correct, after all. He is ruling just as his mother would, he is being the person his mother wants him to be.

This is expanded upon further in the third layer of his dream, in which he faces his inner darkness. Riddle confronts the truth: that he is desperate to cling onto the dorm leader seat, because that’s all he has going for him. He has driven away his classmates, who fear him and resent him. There’s his mother, but she has not granted him the affection he craves, and her approval is conditional. He is alone and unloved. This potentially recontexualizes details seen in earlier layers. Why is Riddle in a band? Maybe because he wants to be like Cater, who seems easygoing and approachable. Why does Riddle live many other aspects of his dorm members’ lives? Why do the characters conjured by Riddle’s darkness to fully believe that Cater wants to transfer to Scarabia—a dorm known for having a friendly and relaxed leader? It could suggest an insecurity in Riddle, a worry that he, as he is, is not enough. Not smart enough for his mother’s approval, not kind or cheery or normal enough to make friends. So all he has is his crown, which he reverently claims to. It’s one of the few things he has to call his own, a decision he made for himself and something he earned through his own merit.

But ultimately, I see Riddle’s truest desire as… being his own person, having his own independence and things he chose for himself. Not letting himself be ruled by the shadow of his mother. (His Phantom fittingly seems to dangle him on strings, as if Riddle is its puppet or marionette.) It doesn’t mean complete chaos or anarchy, and it doesn’t mean being like other people. It means defining his own rules for how he should live. Walking forward on his own path. Making his own identity, not tied down to that of his mother. Riddle is so used to being to do what to do or how to be—by his mom, by some arbitrary set of rules. The fact that he confesses to the things he actually wants after his OB… that he wants to stand up to his mother over winter break… that he confronts the dream version of his mom with the declaration that he will open this door with his own hand, that he will walk forward on his own path… I think that says a lot.

…. Weeeeell, like I said at the start, that’s one interpretation 🤷‍♀️ It’s not necessarily “correct”, and it’s liable to change (especially since all of this information is still very fresh; I’m still taking the time to digest it myself). The wibbly wobbly dream magic is open enough to invite all kinds of interpretations, so I encourage you to take this all with a grain of salt and to come to your own conclusions?

I think it’s interesting that it’s Riddle’s dream that has resulted in many different interpretations, especially on the English speaking side? I wonder if that’s because the average EN player skews younger, so those fans can relate a lot with the struggle for identity and finding freedom from one’s parents, even if their circumstances aren’t exactly the same as Riddle’s. We project our own experiences and feelings onto Riddle, which informs our interpretation of his dream.

[doberbutts]

Every time I see someone having a conniption over kids seeing 'sex stuff', I remember my mum telling me about the time we drove to Brighton during Pride when I was 6 (so, mid-90s) and passed by a pair of bears simultaneously wearing a lot of leather and not very much leather at all, having a very enthusiastic snogging session. Mum worried I was going to have questions, but apparently I just didn't give a shit.

I guess when you're a little kid, adults do a lot of weird and inexplicable things.

The vast majority of little kids who stumble upon a romantic or sexual situation can have it easyily explained as "adult stuff" or "oh, they love each other" and will shrug and move on. If they question it at all! Children are curious, but they don't have the knowledge to tell them that something is sexual in nature and they don't really understand the shame surrounding the topic because that part is taught and they haven't learned to be ashamed yet.

In fact, it at least used to be considered a red flag if a child witnessed something like this in passing and displayed a large amount of interest, because it meant the child had encountered a situation they really shouldn't have and could be being abused and is seeking language to understand what happened to them. Nowadays of course we give children language and a basic, age appropriate explanation of how this works, but even still most kids are going to go "oh okay" and continue on their merry way thinking about Paw Patrol and Bluey.

Which, btw, have sexual jokes contained within. That's why the American version gets censored, because the dad gets hit in the balls and one of the kids asks about where babies come from. The whole "toddler asks how babies are made and parents hesitate to talk about sex" thing is a very old joke that I remember hearing from my own toddler cartoons when *I* was a kid. It's in Rugrats for God's sake.

[roseate-felidae]

In rough order-

1. Roseate-pussycat. Literally pink cat, after an oc. Cats was/is one of my earliest special interests. Despite parents saying I could only get one when I have an annexe in the future.

2. Roseate-betcherrygah. Means pink budgie (parakeet for US). I had a parrot main special interest for years and owned budgies.

3. Roseate-lagomorph. My asthma didn't allow birds anymore, so I coped with rabbits for a long time. Became a special interest but could never fully replace parrots and cats.

4. Roseate-cavy/roseate-caviomorpha. My rabbits died of rhd2, wasn't allowed anymore for a while due to rhd risk. Tried to get into guinea pigs to cope. Didn't work out.

5. Roseate-budgerigar. Very Temporary. Tumblr thought someone else had Roseate-betcherrygah. Despite when i checked it was only me in the past. Tried really hard to keep birds with asthma. Never worked.

6. Switched back to Roseate-lagomorph. They kept me going. Until I broke down after coming to terms with this only being a temporary fix for my real love of cats and parrots.

7. Roseate-ailouros. temporary. Means cat in Greek. Temporary as thinking of new name. Finally was allowed a cat. Still best pet I've ever owned. Therefore, i didn't have to mental block cats to survive.

8. Roseate-felidae. Current and most likely final. I am finally happy with my animal companion situation after years of trying. Felidae is cat family.

Funnily how it started as "pink cat" and returned to "pink cat" in a different word.

The tumblr blog name changes represented my struggle to find the companion animal I needed (most of my people relationships strain due to my autism and I wanted unconditional love). That I needed for my mental wellbeing and motivation to keep living.

To think, I owned parrots, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, and a fish. Been living with families' dogs, ferrets, hawks, pigeons, chickens, quail, canaries, goldfinches, tarantulas, snails, multiple fish species, shrimp, and frog. Thoroughly researched rats, mice, gerbils, degu, chinchillas, snakes, lizards, sugar gliders, hedgehogs, genets, wallabies, and horses.

Yet it was cats that were the right one, which I wanted from the very start. (Parrots sadly were not from asthma). I'm so happy I have Zoe, I just wish I had her years ago.

[warping-realities]

What The Team Needs

This short story is an adaptation of the first video I made when I first started playing around with AI, so the images aren’t exactly natural like in the more recent stories, but it’s still something I promised you all. I still have a video to transcribe, but that's gonna be trickier since it wasn’t thought out the same way as the other two with back-and-forth dialogue. Plus, I don't have the final images saved anymore (the ones that were combined to make the video), which doesn’t mean I won’t do that transcription at some point, just that it probably won’t be anytime soon. Other than that, I’m still on a hiatus from new stories, although I’ve already received two pretty interesting suggestions. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this revamped version of

What The Team Needs

"Babe, let’s chill, we’re in the middle of the hallway, what if someone spots us?" Nathaniel asked, glancing around with a mix of anxiety and nerves.

"Let 'em see, it ain't a crime," Broderick shot back, pulling Nathaniel closer, his gaze determined.

"Don’t be ridiculous, you know how they roll. Stop, someone’s coming!" Nathaniel said, his heart racing as someone approached.

"Eww, it’s Josh," Nathaniel muttered, his tone dripping with disdain looking to the massive muscular young man wearing a red tank top and gym shorts getting closer.

"Babe, he's cool and he's feeling alone after what happened with his friends," Broderick defended, watching Josh come closer.

"Okay, but why does he have to think you're his new bestie?" Nathaniel questioned, a bit annoyed.

"Because our parents are pals and we’ve known each other since we were kids, now smile and be nice to him," Broderick insisted, his smile widening.

"Hey broski, I need to talk to you," Josh said, with a mischievous grin as he approached.

"Hi Josh, this is Nathaniel, my boyfriend," Broderick introduced, trying to keep the vibe light.

"What's up? It’s gotta be private, Brody," Josh replied, shooting a meaningful glance at Nathaniel.

"O.K. I’ll be right back babe..." Broderick said, reluctantly letting go of Nathaniel’s hand.

As Broderick walked off with Josh, Nathaniel crossed his arms, watching from a distance. He didn’t like the idea of Broderick being pulled into another dude’s orbit, especially someone like Josh.

"So, did you think about what I told you?" Josh asked, his expression serious.

"Man, I really don’t see myself on the football team. there’s no way someone like me can help," Broderick replied, hesitant.

"You'd be surprised," Josh insisted, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"If you say so..." Broderick murmured, starting to feel a bit more convinced.

"Perfect, you’re a lifesaver bro, first training session this afternoon and I’m sure you’ll be exactly what the team needs," Josh said, clapping Broderick on the back with enthusiasm.

Meanwhile, Nathaniel was getting more restless. When Broderick finally returned, he couldn’t help but ask: "What did that troglodyte want?"

"Just asked me a favor, nothing to stress about," Broderick replied, trying to reassure him.

"I hate it when he calls you Brody, Broderick. It makes you sound like one of them," Nathaniel complained, his tone heavy with disdain.

"One of them?" Broderick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don’t play dumb. One of them, a jock!"

"Are you gonna tell me you never dreamed of being with a jock?" Broderick teased, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Ew, Broderick, don’t even joke about it!" Nathaniel replied, rolling his eyes but unable to hide a faint smile.

"Okay, okay, let’s bounce?" Broderick suggested, pulling Nathaniel closer as they walked together.

....

Broderick hurried down the hall, his heart racing with the anxiety that was starting to settle in his stomach. He tried to ignore the slight nausea he felt, but the pressure in his abdomen that made him ditch history class seemed to be getting worse with every step.

"Dude, I’m not feeling well, was it something I ate? And now it’s itching. Lucky for me the teacher let me hit the bathroom," he thought, almost sprinting toward the restroom. The hallway was packed with students chatting and laughing, but he could only focus on the urgency of finding relief.

As he entered the bathroom, Broderick rushed into one of the stalls, the itch and abdominal cramps reaching an unbearable level, turning what should've been a moment of relief into a new source of worry. "This damn itch won't go away, what the hell is going on? Dammit, now on my legs... it's burning, it's burning!!!!!" his thoughts echoed in his mind as he writhed in pain trying to find the source of the discomfort, ripping his clothes off and standing there in just his underwear. Then, just as abruptly as it started, it ended.

He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Somehow he had ended up in front of the bathroom mirror. What happened? What a weird thing, man if someone caught me in just my underwear in the bathroom I’m screwed..." He looked closer into the mirror, noticing something unusual. "Weird, my abs look more toned, it must be a light trick..."

The momentary distraction made him forget the strangeness of it all. "I really need to put on my clothes and go back to class!” he thought, deciding it was time to head back to class and deal with whatever happened later. But as soon as he turned to grab his clothes, something even stranger happened. A peculiar energy enveloped his body, almost like an invisible magnet. "Wow..." he murmured, feeling the force pull him. He hesitated, surprised and intrigued by the sensation. It was as if an unknown force was drawing him back to where he had just come from, only that’s not where he ended up. Broderick felt the pulsating energy around him as he tried to understand what was going on. "What was that? Where am I?" he murmured, realizing he was in a locker room. The environment was familiar, yet everything felt different. He looked around, trying to locate the exit, but something made him stop. "Wtf... what the hell is that in the mirror?" He quickly turned to the mirror and stood agape at his own reflection. An extremely muscular version of himself, with a shaved head and a physique he had never known he had.

"It's you Brody, bro! I told you you'd be perfect for the team! And now you're a perfect tight end!” Josh entered the locker room, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. Josh's confidence was palpable, but Broderick was in shock.

“I... no... I, what???” he stammered, trying to process what was happening. His mind was in a whirlwind, confused between reality and what seemed like a dream.

"Just relax and enjoy, see you on the field in 5 minutes, bro. Go crushers!" Josh said, leaving the locker room with an air of confidence, leaving Broderick alone to deal with what had just occurred.

“What...? What the hell was... Hmm... feels so good...” Broderick looked at himself in the mirror again, admiration growing inside him. He couldn’t believe the image he saw — his muscles were huge, defined, and toned.

"Dammit, I’m hot! Look at those muscles!" he exclaimed to himself, excitement building as the reality of the moment began to set in.

"All those hours on the football field and in the weight room were worth it," he thought, remembering every grueling practice, every drop of sweat shed alongside Josh, his best friend and teammate. His dedication to football had always been his passion, and now, somehow, he was reaping the rewards of that hard work.

"I am a beast!" Broderick smiled arrogantly, admiring his body and feeling more alive than ever before he turned and got ready for practice knowing he loved this more than anything else.

.....

Nathaniel walked down the college hall, trying to focus on the conversation with Gregory, a classmate still smaller and skinnier than he was. He was having a strange day, with a persistent feeling that something was very wrong.

"I already said I don't know Gregory... It's just a weird feeling that I'm forgetting something important... I... Who is that??? Brode... Brody?” He exclaimed, his eyes widening as they landed on a muscular young man walking toward them. The guy had a shaved head, a visible tattoo on his arm, and was wearing a black tank top that showcased his impressive physique. The sight was so striking it made him stop for a moment.

"What's up, little bro! I need to talk to you in private. No hard feelings shorty, but it's between me and my bro!" The muscular young man said with a confident smile.

"So, did you think about what I told you?" Broderick continued, ignoring Gregory’s presence.

"Man, I really don't see myself on the football team. There's no way someone like me can help," Nathaniel's response sounded distant to as if he were listening to a conversation from another world.

"You'd be surprised," Brody said, his voice full of optimism.

"If you say so..." Nathaniel felt a knot in his stomach, a strange sense that he was about to lose something important. What was happening?

"Perfect, you’re a lifesaver brother, first training session this afternoon and I’m sure you’ll be exactly what the team needs," Broderick concluded, before walking away with a confidence that felt alien to Nathaniel.

Nathaniel stood there, watching Broderick blend into the crowd. He felt an inexplicable pain in his chest, as if a part of him was fading away. "What’s happening to me?" he murmured, his mind confused and lost.

Gregory, noticing Nathaniel’s distress, placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you okay? You look like you saw a ghost."

"I don’t know, man. But I feel like that’s exactly what happened."

......

Brody and Josh were standing in a hallway, both wearing the usual tanks and gym shorts that showcased their muscular bodies. The atmosphere around them was charged with anticipation, and Josh looked at Brody with a teasing smile.

"May I know why we are standing in this hallway bro?" He asked, crossing his arms and flexing his toned muscles.

"You'll know soon, QB! I would say you'll find out right now," Brody replied, keeping the mystery alive as he scanned the hallway, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. Josh rolled his eyes but couldn’t help a grin. Brody's confidence was infectious.

At that moment, a muscular young man with a shaved head and wearing a black tank top just like Brody approached. He had the same rebellious vibe, accentuated by the tattoo on his arm, although he was slightly smaller and skinnier than Brody; the resemblance was such that they could easily be mistaken for brothers.

"Josh, that's my bro Nate. I think he's going to be an excellent fullback," Brody said, pointing to the young man approaching with a confident grin on his arrogant face.

"And best of all, he knows exactly where to get someone else for the team!" Josh concluded, a gleam in his eyes.

“I believe that with some help Greg will be perfect for the team QB.”

Nate said while revealing his perfectly white and aligned teeth, which broke into a predatory smile reflected on his teammates' faces.

[blacknedsoul-blog]

Social climbers and the relationship with power: Ada's tragedy

You buddies don't dimension how much I raised my eyebrows when I saw this scene:

Ada climbing on top of a deer (a very typical symbolic representation of noble masculinity) who is trying to fiercely shake her off while she desperately clings to him with all her might...

And is THAT what makes her have a flashback of her relationship with Tamerline? Buddy, I'm putting on a hat to take it off.

Anyway, this means I have enough material to talk about Ada.

Social climbers and power

Ada is, apparently, a social climber: she longs for a social space to which she feels she is entitled, but to which she considers herself not to belong. This is something that can give us clues about her socio-economic situation in life: social climbers are extremely common in spaces such as, for example, the child of a first generation of professionals or of parents who have been able to provide better economic passages despite not belonging to social elites.

So, one thing to be clear about the way Ada relates to people in general is through this lens: the way she tries to move up socially (i.e. to power) is through her relationships with people, if she is close to a person who has power or belongs to an elite, then she is accessing these spaces. If that person does not have it, then she uses the relationship to reassert the position she wants to have.

Ada's personal tragedy is that this way of relating to the world puts her in an extremely vulnerable position with respect to her interpersonal relationships because, if they were not asymmetrical from the beginning, she makes them asymmetrical. It's as true that Ada gets into complicated relationships willingly as it is that she is a victim of people like Tamerlane. You know, the same logic of tragedies.

So let me do a little review of all the relationships Ada has had in the comic, how they go and what is the pattern they follow.

The triad of discord

There are three things that all of Ada's relationships have in common (except one, but we'll get to that): 1) She seeks to get some sort of validation from the other person. 2) She tends to push the person's boundaries, even if they were explicitly stated. 3) Even if the person has some degree of affection or sympathy for her, Ada will never be her priority over other things. Be these things other people, personal desires, etc, etc.

So let's review this a bit.

Let's start with the bastard of Thomas Tamerline. If anything their interaction during chapter 110 makes clear to us is that the guy is quite explicit with the fact that this relationship is purely sex for him (and he possibly enjoys the degree of control he exerts over her), Ada repeatedly tries to get some validation or affection from him and the guy barely complies with the bare minimum.

That he ends up murdering her indicates that, regardless of motive, he sees her as an inconvenience to his personal desires that must be gotten out of the way and, as the icing on the cake, puts the responsibility on her.

Now on to Prospero. His resemblance to Thomas is obvious enough to understand why Ada would be attracted to him and constantly seeks to touch him or be near him, no matter how much Prospero tells her that he is not interested in her. This is an attitude she has even before Annabel encourages her by saying that “Prospero is just being shy”.

Eventually it happens what it does: Prospero is fed up with her and doesn't hesitate to tell her so to her face. We can argue whether or not he's justified in being this cruel, but by the standards of this argument that's irrelevant: the important thing here is that Prospero doesn't care about Ada's feelings enough to be nicer.

Let's go now to Lenore. Ada is extremely mean to her until Lenore demonstrates that she was able to pass the maze test on her own. This is, in Ada's eyes, a demonstration of power and she, as she is wont to do, will not pass up the opportunity to get on the good side of a person who could be a potential rising star.

This is cut short by her same group, but they reconnect at the mansion trial. Since Lenore is not interested in relating on power terms (for better and for worse), here they have the opportunity to share on more equal terms on both their parts. Yes, Lenore is also doing this for personal reasons, but it doesn't take away from the merit.

Ada ends up overstepping boundaries and betraying Lenore at the end of the trial. And after she learns of her Ada's involvement in Duke's kidnapping, well, all she has to say when Pluto fills her in is says that shitty relationship is strangely appropriate.

Yes, Lenore may have come to have some degree of affection for her, but Ada is no more important than her friends and after getting into something like that, to hell with her.

With Annabel things start to get more interesting. These two have a cocktail of projection and resentment between them: Annabel is all Ada wants, so she treats her like a pretty accessory that gives her status (something that definitely oversteps Annabel's boundaries, even if she hasn't expressed them because it doesn't suit her) and, to Annabel, Ada is little more than an important piece she can take advantage of.

This take it with a grain of salt because there are some “buts.”

On Ada's side, that she seeks help from Annabel when Montresor is being a fucking psycho is an indicator that she felt, at least, protected by Annabel. But as is often the case with her, the plan Annabel is carrying out is no more important than Ada, she just lets it happen.

Twice. Under the circumstances, Annabel chooses to help Prospero over Ada.

However, Ada is not indifferent to Annabel: she is definitely furious with Montresor after what he did (In fact, this is the only scene so far where we have seen Annabel exercising any form of physical aggression)., she is uncomfortable when Prospero is mean to Ada, and there are a few small frames where she looks at her with sincere pity.

But again, that won't make Annabel prioritize her over her own plans.

Finally, we come to the most interesting relationship here.

Ada definitely cares about Morella, but that won't make constantly denigrating her a reaffirmation of the position she believes (or wants) to have: making comments like Morella's food “is poor.” Ada pecks at the boundaries with a stick, yet these things -for some reason- don't seem to bother Morella, who is able to see the good in her despite her bad attitudes. Until she stops doing it because not only participating in Duke's kidnapping, but also trying to play cool by making excuses is out of bounds even for Morella.

But an interesting thing happens here too, remember how Ada is never a priority for anyone? Well, for a moment in her relationship with Morella it looks like this is going to be different. Morella makes a feeble attempt to defend her when Montresor makes her bark and puts a shield in her face when Prospero attacks her in the mansion trial.

Unfortunately for Ada, Morella is someone too lacking in backbone and too concerned with following the rules to stand up for her when it really counts.

After Ada manifests and bursts into tears, she pushes Morella away from her with a shove.

Morella says she wants to help, but all it takes is for Poppet to remind her that she needs to get back the Merits she lost for Morella to finally give in.

The two people Ada considered her friends have left her: Annabel has chosen to help Prospero and Morella has left.

That's when Montresor enters.

And here begins the first break in Ada's toxic pattern of relationships...but not for the better.

Ada and Montresor

Oddly enough, these two are a good match...for horrible reasons. Montresor, like Ada, is a social climber who uses interpersonal relationships to get closer to power, only in a different way: where Ada sticks it to people who hold power, Montresor uses others to reassert himself in a position of power. So, Ada feeds Montresor's ego, while he can pretend to like her enough to keep Ada happy.

Because yes, Ada and Montresor's relationship fulfills most of the bad patterns in relationships that Ada usually has: she seeks validation in this relationship and Montresor definitely doesn't prioritize her (she constantly has to compete with Will for Montresor's attention, for example). But the important thing here is that, for once, Ada isn't the one constantly pecking at the other person's boundaries: it's Montresor who does it.

He pushes her around, teases her, calls her by other women's names, and it's probably only a matter of time before this starts to get worse. What's interesting is that Ada is able to get upset when this happens, unlike what we see in the flashback to her relationship with Thomas.

So there is something changing here.

Conclusion

I'm not sure where this is going to lead, but one thing is for sure: Montresor is a reflection of a toxic pattern of behavior that Ada has in her relationships and if she's starting to get uncomfortable with it, it's not just because the abyss is staring back at her, but because she's getting herself into a situation too similar to her relationship with Thomas to not know how it might end.

Add to that this:

This is the first time in the comic that Ada has had such a selfless gesture for another person. And that selfless gesture is something as big as putting herself in danger to save someone. As if all this wasn't enough, it's been to save Annabel: one of the two friends who turned their backs on her when she needed them.

I don't know if this will be the start of her character development or we should interpret it as deathflags placed over her head, but one thing is for sure: whatever is going to come out of here has quite a bit of potential.

[ranfordgallus]

Changed Einhorn's adult design...again, because of course

His height is...pretty big as you can see LMAO, he's around..maybe 9-10 feet tall

My guy gets hairier and his horn gets longer

I like his current design by now, makes him look more stronger and more majestic and mythical..hehehe...

Kinda wish he had a partner still..poor guy, last(?) Of his kind or just never had a species of his own to take care of him

I GOT SOME GOOD LORE...smiles... so he is an antelope..right??? And antelopes have two horns, stay with me now....

What if..he had a mutation from birth that he had only 1 horn instead of two? And since mutations in younglings at nature usually the parent will care for the "stronger" sibling than the ones who are "sick"..and his species lived in herds so...when he accidently fell to a cliff and got stuck, his parent never came for him since it's a waste of time, why should we save a child that has no way of protecting itself in the future? (having only one horn), and since his parent has another child, she can just take care of her healthy child than a mutant

And so, Einhorn has been stuck on a large crevasse.. for maybe 39 hours, squeaking for help but no voice of his species to be heard. And so he felt hopeless, until...a creature came

This creature looked nothing like him, he hid on a small cave fit enough for him to squeeze but it's too late, it already saw him. And when the creature came closer and closer, Einhorn became more scared and nervous, it makes this weird voice he could'nt understand. The creature reached down to him, looking back at him, but Einhorn felt too scared to move, it's like he went frozen. It picked him up, Einhorn is looked in eyes on it..and then the creature spoke, it said that it discovered a new species? It started making weird noises, high pitched..like a hyena cackling, it started calling something, Einhorn has no idea what's going on, is it gonna kill him? Call for another to rip him apart to feast?

Another came, and he looked at them, the newcomer looked so excited for some reason and ran up to him, these creatures started talking to eachother in its weird language, the newcomer started to pick him up from the other creatures arms..they're both so gentle with him, he never felt more safe with a species not like him, the newcomer said.." i'll call you..Einhorn, because he's got one horn!" He doesn't understand what he said but his interest is peaked.

The two creatures carried him, Einhorn doesn't understand whats going on but he's not getting killed he thinks, so..he just stayed, unmoving. The two creatures took care of his wounds, he seem more happy and is interested in these two beings, sniffing the brown hair of the creature, tugging on the newcomers blue fabric playing with them

He liked the yellow haired more, he's more parental than his biological parent can ever be, he liked the brown haired second though, but he enjoys his company, he doesn't understand what the brown hair is saying but he likes the attention of brown hair observing him.

Sooo..yeah, thats all i got for now..yapper of the year

[aren-after-hours]

Okay but each of the other movies are just as emotional. They may be more action packed, but they have just as much meaning.

Ice Age 2, as previously mentioned, highlights the struggle of survivors guilt, Manny thinking he's the last Mammoth, finding Ellie, the complexity of their relationship (love vs "save the species), it's very focused on Manny the entire movie.

The third movie, Dawn of the dinosaurs, is focused on Sid. Manny and Ellie are happily together and expecting their baby, Sod is trying his best to be helpful and supportive and involves but he keeps fucking up. Despite his best efforts, he is always doing the wrong thing and making Manny more stressed. He copes with this by claiming the eggs as his children: he's lonely, he wants to nurture, and did not think through the consequences of his actions bc of that purity and innocence mentioned earlier. The whole movie for Sid is about realizing, he can't just make these dinosaurs his family. He can't project his longing and need on this random family that he disturbed. There's subplots, obviously, such as Buck, and the groups' quest to retrieve Sid, but those are secondary. This movie is about Sid and his growth.

The fourth movie, Continental Drift, is so very obviously about the complexities of parenting. Manny has a strained relationship with his now teenage daughter which is left unresolved do to natural disaster. Him, Sid, Diego and Grammy get caught up by pirates, who I see as akin to looters after hurricanes in real life, individuals who are taking advantage of people in a time of crisis. Also in this movie, Sid reconnects with one member of his family, the other "black sheep", his Granny, who is ditched on him by the rest of his family. If I remember correctly, this is the only time we ever see his family on screen, too. She's not kind to him, but he loves her anyway and it is an excellent depiction of an elderly person and their caregiver, to an extent. Granny very much reminds me of my grandmother, who suffered from dementia, and because of it was prone to aggression. It's also to be inferred that Granny initially abandoned Sid as well, and the only reason she hasn't left him is because she can't, she needs him to take care of her. Furthermore, this is the movie where Diego finally begins to show much more vulnerability, cracks forming in his solo tough guy act by having a love interest introduced. Diego had previously never had a love interest of any kind, or even reference to relationships or even family. He had his pack, but that was more like being in a gang than anything else, not loved, romantically or familially. He has that familial bond now, with Manny and the others, but begins to realize that maybe he needs more than that. His love interest, Shira, is exactly like he used to be. She's in a dangerous group, doing dangerous and questionable things, just to survive. She's a foil of him, and reaching out to her is both healing and painful for him. Of course Peaches is also introduced as a strong female type character, and she also is learning who is really there for her and who was, for lack of better terms, was being a fake mother fucker, which is an important lesson for a teenager to learn.

Finally, Collision Course. A bit more campy and comedy based, yes, I will admit. But it again, focuses on that complex father/daughter relationship. Manny is watching his little girl fall in love with a guy that Manny perceives as a full out idiot. He's worried for her, for her future, for her happiness. Ellie and Peaches are very defensive and it's causing a rift in their family unit. Diego and Shira are navigating being carnivores in a predominantly herbivore community. Kids are scared of them, which makes them worry if their own children would be able to make friends, if they had them. Sid is now chasing romance, giving the impression of a more teenage mindset than a child like one. He has had girlfriends, but he goes too much too fast, and they don't last. Buck is forced to come to the surface, which is a HUGE change for him. He had the chance to in Dawn of the Dinosaurs but ultimately decided to stay because it was his home, but he left that familiarity to try and warn Manny and the herd, which is monumental. When they get to Geotopia, the community inside the original asteroid, it's very similar to a cult. The one charismatic leader, who turns out to not be so charismatic. Sid finds the love of his life, a perfect match. His antics come in gain though, and when the crystal falls apart, Brook is aged. The way they both respond to this is so so so so important. He still loves her, still thinks she is beautiful, does not understand why her being older would prevent them from being together. Brook, as well, is still enamored by him, even though she's lost her home and youth because of him. The Llama LOOSES it and blames Sid very angrily and Brook DEFENDS him. They both continue to love each other despite their perceived flaws. He's no longer alone or abandoned because he "messes up". To her, he is perfect, and vice versa. Manny and Peaches sort their shit out in the typical "near death experience" kind of way, but Diego and Shira, we don't see things change for them till the very end, at Peaches' wedding. The children that were previously scared of them, are eager to hear Diego and Shira's story about helping save the world. They still have their fangs and claws, but their actions proved that they are kind and caring and the children noticed that. In return, it eases the fear the two sabers had about their own future children.

In summary, do NOT bullshit me and say that the series as a whole is not impactful, because it is. There's so much more I could say about it, if I included historical context as well but I didn't to keep it a little shorter.

I think a lot about how in Ice Age 1 a huge theme is the slow but unstoppable advancement of the human species as they start to threaten previously unchallenged megafauna (hunting the pack of the antagonist sabertooth and killing Manny the mammoth’s family) and then in all the sequels they just fuckin disappear

[drdemonprince]

you are the first person ive encountered in my whole life who has actually attempted to really answer some of the more aggravating questions surrounding children and sex and just reading some of your recent posts has already enlightened me to my childhood situation a lot better. i will try to keep this brief bc my intent is not to air my whole childhood to the masses but to like. present a sort of spiders georg situation to help people understand why these things are important. here we go: (it is relevent to point out that i am extremely autistic and started presenting symptoms from two years of age onward.) i believe that i started being sexually active around four or five years old. i was extremely curious about sex to such a degree that it got me in trouble at school multiple times. it disturbed my mom greatly how often i brought up sexual topics. i discovered porn at the age of eight due to very poor parental supervision and a high level of internet access and i was immediately obsessed. i can confidently say that i watched more porn than any other kind of media as a child. by the time i was 10 id already had dozens of sexual encounters with kids my age and older, mostly initiated by me. i agree now that children cannot consent to sex with adults, but it took me a long time to come to that conclusion. for a very long time i wished more than anything for an adult who knew the ins and outs of sex to have a sexual relationship with me, bc i saw it as the only way i could be satisfied. children do not make good sexual partners when you are essentially ahead of the sexual curve i guess. i received absolutely no sex education until i reached middle school. my parents didnt talk to me about it whatsoever, deflecting everything i said about the subject. the sex education i did receive was piss poor, and i knew it. it was an "abstinence only" model of sex ed. no one took it seriously. my lack of understanding came back to bite me severely in high school. nowadays i understand concepts like consent and boundaries very well, and i think about these subjects deeply and am careful to consider them when interacting with other people. this was not the case in high school. my unusual sexual obsessions in childhood made me very uncautious about it with other people, and my level of autonomy and power was high enough that abuse was extremely possible. i am not proud to say that i did in fact commit sexual abuse in high school. i knew it was wrong. but to me, the wrongness was on the level of severity of stealing a pack of gum from the store. as soon as i had done it, i started to understand the true level of severity of what id done, and that still haunts me. i had up to that point believed that everyone must on some level have an interest in and desire for sex. i would have been ok with someone doing what i did to me, so it would surely be fine if i did it to someone else. i had no real conception of sexual violence and sexual coercion being real things that affected people deeply, both due to my physical and social isolation and extremely skewed perspective from watching porn for years. nowadays, i have very little sex, both because of lack of percieved opportunity, lack of motivation, and fear of committing the same transgressions i did in the past. nevertheless i remain extremely interested in and obsessed with sex, and wish i could spend all day having it. so i guess as someone who was sexually precocious: your kids need to know about sex. they need to be educated about it. a sufficiently determined child will find out about it regardless, and you need to give them the tools necessary to navigate it without hurting themselves and others. and additionally i think it would be a lot better for trans girls if our first exposure to transfemininity wasnt porn the majority of the time.

💯 thank you anon ♥️

[bee-the-loser-recs]

✩✮✩✮ My Kun One-shot Fic Recs ✩✮✩✮

★ Sleepless Cinderella [Prologue] and [Kun] By @starlightkun 11.4k, Journalist reader, Pilot Kun, interviewing him for an article, falling in love, romantic connections, slight angst, fluff, having scheduling difficulties

★ Romance is dead & Sequel By @starlightkun 19.4k & 10.3k, part of the writer's Strawberry Sunday universe, fantasy au, college au, modern magical creatures, vampire Kun, human reader, accidental love potions, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, blood drinking

★ The bite By @starlightkun 25.2k, single parents au, enemies to lovers, single dad Kun, single mom reader, they both have sons in preschool, slight angst, initial dislike, flirting, slowburn, a kid biting another

★ Flopstar By @starlightkun 18.3k, Band au, Kun is a retired band member, now a venue manager, rookie Keyboardist reader, reader was a fan of Kun's band, age gap, fluff, suggestive, WayV as Kun's coworkers, other NCT appearances throughout

★ Hold my red heart By @starlightkun 3.4k, fake dating at the office holiday party trope, friends to lovers, reader is slightly stupid, fluff, slight angst, tipsy reader, drinking, vomiting, cursing

★ Chasing love across the receivers By @starlightkun 9.3k, sci-fi au, co-workers in space, falling in love with one another without seeing each other, they're space traffic controllers, codenames, fluff, minor hurt/comfort, brief injury mention

Literally just go check out @starlightkun cause their works are all so good!! They have many other Kun fics as well as other NCT members, but I haven't had a chance to read them all myself yet

★ Noli timere By @itsapapisongo 13.3k, Hogwarts au, fantasy, Hufflepuff Kun, Slytherin reader, British slang, acquaintances to friends, facing a boggart, fluff, slice of life, depicting a character having a panic attack

★ Drama love By @radiorenjun 23.5k, college au, drama club au, Kun is president of the club, star actor reader, frenemies to lovers, tsundere Kun, teasing/playful bullying, insults, reader is a menace, fluff, slight angst, so good

★ Harvesting hearts By @xomakara 6.4k, western au, country farming au, farmer reader, new resident Kun, instant attraction, developing feelings, other residents NCT, a crop-stealing sheep, inspired by cosy farming games, fluff

★ Blessings By @xomakara 6.7k, established relationship, accidental pregnancy, dad!Kun, slight angst, worry, fluff, smut, watching how their relationship develops, moving in together, comfort

★ Creme caramel By @werejusttouchingeachother 3.3k, established relationship, missing one another, being horny, photoshoots, reader makes a dessert Kun said he was craving, surprises, smut

★ The perfect match By @gyoobies Ten x reader x Kun, polyamory, established relationship between Ten & Kun, café au, mutual interest in one another, smut, fluff, flirting, teasing

★ Irreplaceable By @justwritedreams 1.5k, soldier au, pilot Kun, mentions of military training exercises, fluff, action, Kun gets angry at another pilot, going on dates together, reader watches him train

★ Peacefully paired By @cigsaftersuh SMAU, non-idol au, reader lives in a small village, Kun moves to town, friends WayV & Mark Lee, posting online, misconceptions, Kun thinks reader & Mark are dating at first, fluff, feelings

★ Paint the lot red By @alreadyblondenow 6.8k, vampire au, Kun is a vampire, human writer reader, reader has lost their family in a car crash, strangers to friends to lovers, major character death, depression, smut, angst, blood

★ Whenever the sun is hiding By @alreadyblondenow 3.7k, kind of Mulan au, general Kun, warrior reader, fantasying about one another, smut, angst, mentions of a promised one back home, the ending killed me

★ Give By @hazyhae 1.1k, established relationship, getting high together, weed use, stressed Kun, ranting to reader about things, pet names, smut, fluff

★ Day 20: Thigh riding By @lovetaroandtaemin 1.4k, a kinktober fic, established relationship, going on their anniversary date, public teasing, smut, slight crying

★ Day 21: Aphrodisiac By @all-about-kyu 1.7k, magic au, wizard Kun, apprentice reader, making a romance potion together, accidentally messing up the potion, aphrodisiacs, smut, aftercare, mentions of actual feelings

★ Love of my life By @all-about-kyu 3.5k, established relationship, going through their relationship lifetime, insecurities, anxiety over their relationship, pregnancy, parenting, Ten & Xiaojun as their kids

★ Kun trying to convince you to join his many side quests !! By @viasdreams SMAU, established relationship, Kuns many side quests he's done, mentions of Kun jumping out of planes/piloting/doing magic, fluff, crack

★ Be alright By @ethereal-engene 1.7k, Older brother Kun & younger sibling reader, reader's first day back at school, self deprecating thoughts, self doubt, living with WayV, seeking comfort from your sibling, fluff, comfort

★ Promise By @iridesuhnce 4k, friends to lovers, childhood friends, slowly falling apart, reconnecting years later, promises, angst, fluff, they had a childhood fort together

★ Fireworks (I love you) By @sunflw3r 931, non-idol au, established relationship, new years setting, celebrating Kun's birthday, watching the fireworks, implied younger reader, fluff, flirting

★ Finding gilbert By @jaeminlore 1.2k, soulmate au, neighbours au, countdown timers to when you meet, Kun has a new kitten, reader finds the cat, fluff

★ July 26th By @00127am 2k, roommates au, complaining about the summer heat together, sharing a bed, non-sexual intimacy, "just friends" dynamic, cuddling

★ Ace of hearts By @injvns SMAU, Kun practices magic, card tricks, reader finds one of Kun's cards in her book, fluff, first meeting, attraction, cute

★ Biting By @imagesbywayv Drabble, established relationship, slice of life, typically soft Kun, smut, biting, leaving bruises on reader

★ I'll give it to you, wonder you By @imagesbywayv 591, established relationship, soft dom Kun, smut, praise, pet names, kind of fluffy smut, slice of life

★ Bet you like it, you love it By @imagesbywayv 1.2k, established relationship, slice of life, playing around with power dynamics, reader wears lipstick, leaving marks on each other, lipstick stains, soft, smut, fluffy

★ 望むままに, easy come By @imagesbywayv 3.8k, established relationship, slice of life, smut, soft dom Kun, pet names, use of Gege, praise, kind of bratty reader, a slight hint of mean Kun, talk of rewards

★ 鮮やかな姿, show me everything By @imagesbywayv 1.18k, established relationship, dom!Kun, pet names, teasing one another, smut, Kun spoils reader constantly, unspoken dynamic

★ I'm losing sleep, is it just me? By @imagesbywayv 1.9k, sugar daddy!Kun, sugar baby!reader, established arrangement / dynamic, catching actual feelings, the arrangement is meant to be ending soon, smut

★ Yikes, date gone wrong, hoodie thieves, exam week pickup, and we should get a cat By @suhnshinehaos SMAU, university au, NCT96z & reader as roommates [Doyoung, Ten & Kun], one-shots, reader has a shitty ex, being stood up, slight implied Ten x reader, teasing, sharing clothes, fluff, slight angst

[bluebvrry]

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ PROMISE ⋆

Synopsis -> all those waiting for 5 years in vain. Hearing her name doesn’t make you go all fluterry and flustered anymore, instead it makes you growl in hatred

Pairing -> non-idol!giselle x non-idol!f!reader

Genre -> angst, lovers to strangers (?)

Warnings -> angst,3.6k WC, Karina is being mentioned, yelling, Karina is just a sweet caring boss, hurt hurt hurt, lmk if I missed anything that wasn’t mentioned

A/N -> boomshakala another angst 🤓 wanted to post this story before I start the first chapter of the series, ALSOOOOO if you want a continuation please lmk or if you have continuation ideas lmk🥹, was lit listening to “slow dancing in the dark” by Joji and it would lowk go well with this imagine buh I got that planned for another one 😌😉

You stared blankly at the small, velvet box on your dresser, the engagement ring Aeri had given you before she left gleaming in the dim light of your room. It had been months since she'd departed, leaving you with a promise to return and a heart full of longing.

You remembered the day she left like it was yesterday. You had stood in the airport, clinging to each other as tears streamed down your faces. Aeri had whispered promises in your ear, vows to return to you as soon as she could. And you had sworn to wait for her, to never leave her side once she came back.

But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness that had settled in your chest. You had tried to stay busy, to distract yourself from the ache of Aeri's absence, but nothing seemed to fill the void.

You opened the box, running your thumb over the intricate design of the ring. It was a symbol of Aeri's love for you, a promise of the future you were meant to share. But as you gazed at the ring, you couldn't help but wonder if that future was still within reach.

The years had dragged on, each one a painful reminder of Aeri's absence. Your friends had tried to intervene, setting you up on blind dates and attempting to coax you back into the world of the living. But you had refused to budge, your heart still stubbornly holding onto the hope that Aeri would one day return to you.

Your parents had grown tired of your moping, their patience wearing thin as the months turned into years. They had urged you to move on, to find someone new and leave the past behind. But you couldn't bring yourself to do it. The thought of loving someone else, of replacing Aeri in your heart, was unthinkable.

So, in a desperate bid to escape the suffocating weight of your hometown's expectations, you had made the decision to leave. You packed up your belongings and moved to a new city, one where no one knew your name or your story. It was a fresh start, a chance to begin anew and leave the pain of your past behind.

But as you stood in your new apartment, surrounded by unfamiliar walls and the echoes of silence, you couldn't shake the feeling that you were still waiting. Waiting for Aeri, waiting for the day when she would finally return to you. And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, you wondered if you would ever be able to move on.

As you settled into your new life, you were determined to start fresh and leave your past heartaches behind. Getting a job was the first step, and you were thrilled to land a position as a secretary for the CEO of a large and prestigious company. Your new boss, Ms. Yu, was everything you had hoped for and more. She was kind, compassionate, and genuinely cared about the well-being of her employees.

From the moment you started working for Ms. Yu, you were struck by her warm and approachable demeanor. She took a genuine interest in getting to know you, asking about your background and your goals. She made sure you felt welcome and supported, and you found yourself looking forward to coming to work each day.

As you worked alongside Ms. Yu, you began to notice the way she interacted with the other employees. She was always available to listen, offering words of encouragement and guidance whenever needed. She fostered a sense of community and camaraderie within the office, making everyone feel valued and appreciated.

Despite the demands of her high-powered position, Ms. Yu remained humble and kind, never once making you feel intimidated or afraid to approach her. You found yourself feeling grateful to work for someone like her, and you couldn't help but wonder what her story was. What had shaped her into the compassionate and empathetic leader she was today?

You nodded attentively as Ms. Yu briefed you on the meeting, taking mental notes of the details. You had worked with her on numerous occasions, but this meeting seemed particularly significant. The fact that she needed you by her side suggested that the stakes were high, and you were determined to provide her with the support she needed.

As you arrived at the five-star restaurant, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. The opulent decor and impeccable service were a testament to the establishment's luxurious reputation. You smoothed out your dress, making sure you looked professional and composed, before following Ms. Yu to the private dining room where the meeting was to take place.

You stood beside Ms. Yu, sipping your glass of water as you waited for the important client to arrive. The private dining room was elegantly decorated, with soft music playing in the background. You checked your watch for what felt like the hundredth time, wondering when the client would show up.

Just as you were starting to get impatient, the door swung open and a figure stepped inside. Your heart skipped a beat as you locked eyes with the person, a face you never thought you'd see again. Your mind went blank, and you felt like you'd been punched in the gut.

The person's eyes met yours, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. You could feel the air thickening with tension, and your heart racing with anticipation. And then, your gaze drifted to the person standing beside them, and your world came crashing down...

You felt like you'd been hit by a ton of bricks. Mrs. Uchinaga? Married? The words echoed in your mind, refusing to sink in. You couldn't believe that the Aeri you once knew, the Aeri you had given your heart to, was now standing in front of you, married to someone else.

You tried to maintain a professional demeanor, but it was a struggle. Your eyes kept drifting back to Aeri, taking in the subtle changes in her appearance. She looked older, wiser, and yet, her eyes still sparkled with the same mischievous glint you remembered.

The woman beside her, her wife, seemed kind and gentle, with a warm smile that put you at ease. But you couldn't help feeling a pang of jealousy, of resentment, towards this stranger who had taken Aeri's heart.

As Ms. Yu began to discuss the details of the meeting, you found yourself zoning out, your mind consumed by thoughts of Aeri and what could have been. You felt like you were stuck in a nightmare, unable to wake up from the pain and heartache that threatened to overwhelm you.

As the meeting drew to a close, you couldn't help but feel like you were in a daze. You had barely spoken a word, content to let Ms. Yu handle the negotiations while you struggled to process your emotions. Aeri's presence had thrown you off balance, and you couldn't understand why you were still feeling this way after all these years.

You caught Aeri's eye once, and for a fleeting moment, you thought you saw a glimmer of recognition, of understanding. It was as if she knew exactly what you were thinking, exactly how you were feeling. And then, just as quickly, the moment was gone, leaving you wondering if you had imagined it altogether.

But you didn't imagine the look of guilt and regret that crossed Aeri's face. It was a fleeting expression, one that she quickly masked with a neutral smile. But you saw it, and it left you feeling even more confused and unsettled. What did it mean? Was Aeri regretting her decision to leave you all those years ago? And if so, why was she here now, married to someone else?

You felt a flush rise to your cheeks as Ms. Yu's hand rested on yours. It was a gentle, comforting gesture, but it caught you off guard. You nodded hastily, trying to play it cool, and assured her that everything was fine.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Ms. Yu asked, her voice low and concerned. She leaned in closer, her eyes scanning your face for any signs of distress.

You nodded again, trying to reassure her. "Yeah, everything's fine, Ms. Yu. Just a bit...distracted, that's all."

Ms. Yu's expression softened, and she gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "If anything's bugging you, I'm right here, okay? You can always talk to me."

You smiled weakly, feeling a bit flustered by her concern. "Thanks, Ms. Yu. I appreciate it."

Ms. Yu's hand lingered on yours for a moment before she turned her attention back to Aeri and her wife. You took a deep breath and tried to compose yourself, but your mind was still reeling from the shock of seeing Aeri again.

As the meeting drew to a close, Aeri's wife stood up, smiling politely. "It was lovely meeting you, Ms. Yu. And...Y/N," she added, her eyes flicking to you with a hint of curiosity.

Aeri stood up as well, her eyes locking onto yours for a brief moment. You felt a jolt of electricity run through your body, and you quickly looked away, trying to break the spell.

Ms. Yu smiled warmly, standing up to shake hands with Aeri's wife. "The pleasure was mine. I'll have my assistant send over the contract details by the end of the day."

As the two women exchanged pleasantries, you couldn't help but steal glances at Aeri. She seemed...different, somehow. More poised, more confident. But there was still something in her eyes, something that hinted at a deeper emotion.

You felt a pang of curiosity, wondering what had brought Aeri to this point. What had she been doing all these years? And what was the story behind her marriage to this woman?

As the meeting drew to a close, Aeri's eyes locked onto yours, and she spoke up, her voice low and husky. "Y/N, I'd like to talk to you privately."

The word "privately" was emphasized, and you felt a shiver run down your spine. Ms. Yu looked at you hesitantly, seeming to weigh her options. After a moment, she nodded. "Alright, I'll wait for you in the car. Take your time."

You nodded, feeling a sense of trepidation. What did Aeri want to talk to you about? You stood up, smoothing out your dress, and followed Aeri out of the private dining room.

She led you to a more secluded area outside of the restaurant, a small garden surrounded by tall trees and vibrant flowers. The sound of gentle chirping and soft rustling of leaves filled the air, creating a sense of tranquility.

Aeri stopped in front of a small fountain, her back to you. You could see the tension in her shoulders, the stiffness in her posture. You felt a pang of curiosity, wondering what was going through her mind.

"Aeri?" you said softly, breaking the silence.

She turned around, her eyes locking onto yours. For a moment, you just stared at each other, the air thick with unspoken emotions.

"I'm sorry," Aeri said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry for what happened between us."

You felt a lump form in your throat as you looked at her. You had waited so long to hear those words, to hear her acknowledge the pain she had caused you.

"Why did you leave?" you asked, your voice shaking slightly.

Aeri took a deep breath, her eyes never leaving yours. "I was scared, Y/N. I was scared of my feelings, of what they meant. I didn't know how to process them, how to deal with them. So I ran."

You felt a pang of sadness, of regret. You had loved her so much, and she had thrown it all away.

"Why are you married?" you asked, the question tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop it.

Aeri's eyes dropped, and she took a deep breath before answering. "I thought it was what I wanted, what I needed. But the truth is, Y/N, I've never stopped loving you. I've never stopped thinking about you."

You felt like you'd been punched in the gut. Aeri still loved you? But what about her wife? What about the life she had built without you?

You felt a surge of anger and hurt as you confronted Aeri. "So all those years of waiting were for nothing?" you asked, your voice rising in indignation. "Five years of my life, wasted on waiting for you, and it was all for nothing?"

Aeri tried to interrupt, but you cut her off, your emotions pouring out of you like a dam breaking. "Y/N, please—"

"No, Aeri, you listen to me!" you exclaimed, your voice growing louder. "Do you have any idea how long you've made me wait? Thinking that you'd come back to me, that you'd make good on your promises? My friends tried to set me up on blind dates, but I refused, because I was holding out for you. My parents scolded me for moping around the house, telling me to move on, but I said no, I'm waiting for Aeri. And all this time, you were out here living your life with someone else?"

You felt a lump form in your throat as you thought about all the years you'd wasted, all the opportunities you'd missed, all because of Aeri's broken promises. "I moved out of my hometown because the stares of pity were too much to bear," you continued, your voice cracking with emotion. "I couldn't take the constant reminders of what I'd lost, of what you'd taken from me. And now, you're standing here, telling me that you still love me? After all these years? After everything you've put me through?"

Aeri's face went pale, and she took a step back, as if she'd been physically struck. She knew she was wrong, that she'd hurt you deeply, and that there was no excuse for her behavior. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She just stood there, frozen in silence, as you poured out your heart to her.

The sound of your own voice, loud and angry, was like a slap in the face, shocking you out of your emotions. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but your heart was still racing, your mind still reeling with the implications of Aeri's words.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Aeri spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper. "Y/N, I...I don't know what to say. I was wrong to leave you like that, to make you wait for so long. I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused you."

You looked at her, searching for answers, but all you saw was regret and sorrow etched on her face. You didn't know what to say, either. A part of you wanted to forgive her, to take her back, but another part of you was screaming to run away, to leave her and her broken promises behind.

You stood there, your face buried in your palms, as the weight of your emotions threatened to overwhelm you. You had forgiven Aeri, but the pain and hurt she had caused you still lingered, a constant reminder of what could never be forgotten.

"I've forgiven you," you murmured, your voice barely audible. "But it's not something I can forget that easily."

Aeri took a step closer, her eyes filled with a deep sadness, but you immediately backed away, your hands still covering your face. You couldn't bear the thought of her touching you, of her trying to comfort you. It was too much, too soon.

You slowly lowered your hands, your eyes locking onto Aeri's face. You stared at her, your expression almost expressionless, as if you were trying to mask the turmoil that was brewing inside you.

"I need to go," you said finally, your voice firm but quiet.

Aeri nodded, her eyes never leaving yours. "Okay," she said softly. "I understand."

You turned and walked away, leaving Aeri standing alone in the garden. You could feel her eyes on you, watching you, but you didn't look back. You couldn't.

As you walked towards the parking lot, you could feel the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You had thought that confronting Aeri would bring you closure, but now you realized that it had only opened up old wounds.

You spotted Ms. Yu's car in the distance and quickened your pace, eager to escape the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm you. As you reached the car, Ms. Yu looked up at you with concern etched on her face.

"Y/N, are you okay?" she asked softly.

You nodded, trying to compose yourself. "Yeah, I'm fine," you lied.

Ms. Yu looked at you skeptically, but she didn't push the issue. Instead, she started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Aeri and the past behind.

As you sat in the car, staring out the window, you couldn't help but wonder what the future held. Would you be able to move on from Aeri, or would the memories of what could have been continue to haunt you? Only time would tell.

As you sat in the car, your mind began to wander, replaying the previous encounter with Aeri over and over again. You were oblivious to Ms. Yu's concerned gaze, too caught up in your own thoughts to notice her watching you.

The car ride seemed to pass in a blur, with you zoning out and losing all sense of time. You didn't even notice when the car pulled up to your front door, it wasn't until Ms. Yu spoke up that you snapped back to reality.

"We're here," she said softly, her voice gentle.

You looked up, feeling a bit disoriented, and saw that you were indeed parked outside your apartment building. You thanked Ms. Yu, feeling a bit embarrassed for zoning out on her, and stepped out of the car.

As you walked into your apartment, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. You were finally alone, free to process your thoughts and emotions without anyone watching. You freshened up, washing your face and changing into something comfortable, before collapsing onto your bed.

You plugged in your headphones and put on some music, letting the familiar melodies wash over you. You stared up at the ceiling, feeling a sense of numbness wash over you.

As the music played on, you found yourself getting lost in thought. You couldn't stop thinking about Aeri, about the way she had looked at you, about the things she had said. You couldn't help but wonder what could have been, what would have happened if she had stayed.

The music seemed to fade into the background as your thoughts consumed you. You felt like you were drowning in a sea of emotions, unable to escape the tidal wave of feelings that threatened to overwhelm you.

As the hours passed, you remained frozen in place, lost in your own thoughts and emotions. The music played on, a constant companion in your solitude, but you barely even noticed it. You were too caught up in your own world, too lost in the memories of what could have been.

As the hours passed, you slowly began to feel the weight of your emotions lifting. The music had changed, shifting from a melancholy tune to a softer, more calming melody. You felt your eyelids growing heavy, and before you knew it, you had drifted off to sleep.

When you woke up, the room was dark, the only light coming from the moon outside your window. You rubbed your eyes, feeling a sense of grogginess wash over you. As you sat up, you realized that the music had stopped, and the room was quiet.

You looked around, taking in the familiar surroundings of your apartment. It was a reminder that life went on, that even though Aeri was back in your life, you had moved on. You had built a new life, one that didn't revolve around her.

As you swung your legs over the side of the bed, you felt a sense of determination wash over you. You knew that you couldn't change the past, but you could control the future. You could choose to move on, to leave the memories of Aeri behind.

You stood up, feeling a sense of resolve wash over you. You walked over to the window, looking out at the city below. The lights twinkled like stars, a reminder of the possibilities that lay ahead.

You took a deep breath, feeling a sense of closure wash over you. You knew that you would always carry a piece of Aeri with you, but you also knew that you were ready to move on.

As you turned away from the window, you felt a sense of peace settle over you. You knew that you would be okay, that you would find happiness again. And with that thought, you smiled, knowing that you were ready to start a new chapter in your life.