#i just have a lot of rambling thoughts on this

[chronicdelusionistsart]

So I have been watching Danny Phantom for the first time ever with my friends and I'd kind of previously known about its reputation as a show whose fanbase dives a lot more into the lore than the show is willing to. And I guess I hadn't really understood why until now (I just finished Season 2!). Here's my sort of rambling thoughts on it.

Danny Phantom isn't a show about the horror of ghosts and the dead coexisting in the human realm. It's a show about dropping the most out of pocket lore implications you can imagine on people who in turn say things that would kill a therapist dead equally out of pocket, and then neither are addressed but the watcher has to live with the ghost of the plot that is right behind them but they can't turn around.

DP is a little hit and miss in places, but the very thing that drives people nuts about it is actually I think maybe its greatest strength: it really pulls off show, don't tell effectively. How much of that is intentional is up for debate, but the best episodes kinda leave you wondering, or sputtering like "UH, HEY, BACK UP - HEY BACK UP AND UNPACK THAT -" Is Danny's human body technically alive somehow, or is he a walking corpse? Does Danny have a door in the Ghost Zone? Were Vlad's clones feeling and sentient as they melted into ectoplasm, despite Danny's guess that they weren't? What does it say about Danny that he still erased his parents' memories after finding out they'd accept him as he is?

I think the genius of not answering these questions directly is that it's both funnier AND scarier not to. We can laugh about how fucked up it is and kinda hold our heads like "bro.... did they really just imply that, holy shiiiiiit", and that's really consistent with the emotional core of the show as this knife's-edge dance between teen comedy and horror superhero. Fully explaining the lore or being more direct about how the information is conveyed by and to the characters tips that balance and changes the show into something else, for better or for worse. And I really earnestly like it as it is, even if it's very of its time (sexism.......)! It's a really fun show with some depth to it.

Anyway, I can't wait to watch season 3! I sure hope all these wonderful qualities I like about it hold up!

[pathologicalreid]

falling flat | s.r.

in which you call Spencer for help with a flat tire, and he comes to help with you car troubles - and then some

margovember

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: allusions to the reaper, car trouble, blood, tetanus vaccine, kindergarten teacher!reader, flirting, protective!spencer, takes place following 5x22 "the internet is forever", hastily edited word count: 1.87k a/n: rahhhh an old prompt from may 2024 that ended up working for a margovember request rahhh.

The absolute last place you wanted to be was on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere Virginia, with a flat tire. You weren’t entirely helpless until your tire jack broke, sending metal flying everywhere and cutting your hand open.

You slumped down next to your car, pulling your phone from your pocket before calling the first people you could think of. Every single one of them ended up going to voicemail. Some of them didn’t even let it get past the first ring before declining your call—traitors.

With your thumb hovering over the call button, you thought of Spencer. He had a PhD in engineering, but you weren’t entirely sure that would come in handy in this instance. It was late, almost midnight, and you weren’t even sure he’d answer.

At this point, what choice did you have?

As the phone rang, part of you hoped he wouldn’t answer. When he asked you about it the next time you saw him, you’d wave it off as a butt dial and he’d be none the wiser.

“Hello,” he said through the phone, leaving your plans quashed.

This was awkward, you had been on four dates with the guy over the span of two months, and now you were calling him in the middle of the night. “This isn’t a booty call,” You blurted, cringing inwardly and banging your head back on the passenger door of your car.

Spencer laughed lightly, “I didn’t think it was, what’s going on?”

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” You asked, his job had a lot of long hours, and you didn’t want to bother him if he was catching up on sleep. If he was even home, “Wait, where are you?”

There was a rustling on his end of the call, ���No, I wasn’t asleep, I’m at work. We just got off of a case.”

You let out a sigh of relief, at least you weren’t being a total nuisance. “Sorry, I don’t mean to bother you. I just… my tire blew out on the highway and my jack broke and no one else is answering their phone,” you told him, verging on rambling.

“You’re kind of cutting out, where are you?” He asked, he sounded concerned, and if there was a moment where you weren’t sure you still had feelings for him, it was fleeting.

Looking to either side of you for a mile marker, you stood up, looking at the ground so you didn’t step on any metal, “I don’t really know. There aren’t any signs, I’m somewhere on 28, I think?”

Spencer cleared his throat, “Do you have your location on your phone?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I have enough service to check it,” you said, all you could see were trees.

You could hear him talking to someone, holding the receiver away from his mouth, “That’s fine, I’ll have someone look, just stay on the phone.”

It would seem that dating someone in the FBI does have its perks, “Oh, cool.” You overheard Spencer explaining your situation to someone, hearing the other person in the room say something about Reid’s girlfriend and you couldn’t help but smile. The two of you were very unofficially official.

“Hey, I’ll be there in half an hour,” An elevator dinged in the background. “Is that alright?”

You hummed, leaning your hip against the front of your car. “I mean, I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

Another ding of the elevator, “Will you do me a favor?”

In exchange for this? You’d do just about anything within the realm of legality, “Name it.”

“Get in your car and lock the doors,” he responded. “Turn your hazards on because right now you’re a sitting duck. If someone doesn’t see your car, they could hit you.”

As a favor, he was asking you to make sure you’re safe, “Okay, I’m getting in now, should I leave the car running?”

You heard the sound of a car lock disengaging through the phone, “As long as the cooling system on your car is in good shape, it shouldn’t be a problem to leave it running while you wait. Just remember what I told you about the hazards.”

Nodding despite the fact that he can’t see you, you got in the car, turning the key in the ignition before pushing the button for your hazard lights, “Okay, I’m in the car.”

“I can’t drive and be on the phone at the same time, but I’ll be there soon. Don’t unlock the doors for anyone except for me,” he told you, and you thanked him for his help before hanging up and settling yourself in your driver’s seat.

You pulled the hoodie you kept stashed in your car over your head, your school mascot—a panther—proudly displayed in the front, and made sure your car doors were locked. If you said you weren’t a little unnerved, you’d be lying to yourself.

Spencer had a worrisome job; it was something you were aware of before he ever asked you on that first date. It became alarmingly obvious to you when he revealed that he’d been shot a few months prior, which was an appropriate second-date conversation with an FBI agent. It made sense to you that he’d be concerned about you, in your idle car, on the side of the road, but you wondered if there was a case that he was thinking of. Someone with a flat tire who had met an untimely demise.

Shuddering, you turned up the heat in your car, flipping through radio stations until someone knocked on your window. You jumped at the noise, hitting your head against the roof of the car before looking outside to see Spencer. Sighing in relief, you unlocked your car door, and he opened it for you, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Is your head alright?”

You peered up at him, casually leaning over your car door. “You cut your hair,” you observed. You’d seen him just last week, where his hair still touched his shoulders, and now it was considerably shorter.

Self-consciously, he reached up a hand and thumbed one of the tendrils, “Yeah, it just got too long—and heavy.”

Resisting the urge to ruffle his hair, your head bobbed, “I like it. Did you do it yourself?”

“You can tell?” He asked, following you around the back of your car to your busted tire. Spencer sets his tire jack down before looking back at you, putting his hands on his hips.

Grinning at him, you shrugged, “I teach kindergarten, I’m basically a professional at noticing DIY haircuts.”

On a towel that you had previously set out, the two of you sat along the side of your car, and you tried to ignore the fact that Spencer still had his weapon holstered. It made sense, he’d come straight from work, but you wondered if there was a reason he didn’t leave it in his car. “Where’s your lug wrench?”

“I can change it myself,” you insisted, “I just needed a different car jack.” You gestured to the pieces of yours that were now all over the side of the road.

Alarm flashed on Spencer’s face, “Nothing fell on you, right?”

You shook your head, “No, just a cut from the metal.”

Holding out your hand, you let Spencer take a look at the cut on your palm. “When was your last tetanus shot?”

Blinking rapidly, you frowned at him, “Uh, when I was in college?”

“That might need stitches,” he responded, letting you take your hand back. “I’ll change your tire, I don’t want you using that hand for anything,” he informed you, pushing the hydraulic jack beneath your car.

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach as you watched him take your old tire off, muttering under his breath about how your old jack was practically an artifact, seeing how it literally fell apart under pressure. “How was your case?” You asked softly, fully aware that you were likely opening a can of worms by asking about work.

Spencer’s movements faltered slightly at your question, “It’s closed. We were in Boise,” he answered tactfully, leaving out any case details and cluing you into the fact that he didn’t want to talk about it. “What are you doing out here?”

You sighed, leaning back on your hands and watching him work, “I had a meeting with the other schools in our conference. It’s annual, and this year they happened to pick the school furthest away from mine.”

“Well, I suppose it worked out well that your tire blew out so close to me, then,” Spencer said, swapping out the busted tire for the donut and looking over at you. There was something nervous in his eyes, and you didn’t know if it was related to work or you.

Humming, you tried to watch the tire rather than just watching him, “Is there something bothering you?”

He was tightening the lug nuts on the spare tire, “Are you driving home after this?”

You furrowed your brows, “Yeah, where else could I be going?”

“It’s almost a two-hour drive to your place from here,” he reminded you, his tone laced with concern. “You won’t get home until almost one in the morning,” the displeasure in his voice was plain, but you don’t have anywhere else to go. “Plus, you really shouldn’t travel that far on a spare tire, they’re not made to travel far distances.”

Crossing your arms in front of your stomach, you let your shoulders slump forward, “So, what do you suggest I do? Get a hotel?”

Spencer mumbled something inaudibly, trying to finish tightening the bolts on the tire before sighing, “You can stay with me,” he blushes, a swipe of pink across his cheeks.

Your lips parted in surprise, “Uh, I don’t… I’m not…” you faltered. Utterly failing to come up with a good enough reason to tell him no, “I don’t want you to feel inclined. This isn’t what I was looking for when I called you for help.”

He let the car down, staying quiet while the two of you cleaned up, and Spencer swatted your hand away when you tried to pick things up. “So, you can come back to my place tonight. My work-issued first-aid kit has your name all over it,” he told you, eyes flickering down to the cut on your hand.

“Okay,” you breathed, unable to conjure a reason to refuse his hospitality.

He was grinning at you, hair just barely brushing his eyebrows, “So tomorrow, maybe we can get coffee and drop your car off to get a new tire?”

You smiled back at him, “That sounds great, date number five.”

“You know where you’re going, right?”

“Yeah,” you’d been to his place once to pick him up, “Hey, Spence?”

He turned around, fishing his car keys from his pocket. He looked ready to respond to you, but you pressed your lips to his before he had a chance to speak.

You kissed him softly, whispering against his mouth, “Thank you for coming.”

He chuckled lightly, gently resting a hand on your waist, “Thank you for calling.” 

[skadf1]

I also think that in the context of "see how today's problems will be tomorrow's disasters," Butler points out that the data is all there to see how the minor crises we faced in the past are starting to become bigger crises now and all out disasters sooner than we might think. A prime example of this is climate change. Scientists have been telling us for years how badly we are hurting the planet and now with every day we continue to ignore it, we come closer to the point of no return.

I definitely can see how lack of context can make the tone difficult to parse out (especially as a neurodivergent person myself) and there are people who take it both ways. There are definitely politicians on all sides who will weaponize a statement like this to say exactly what people above were saying: "I didn't create the problem" and "well it's you who need to do something! As for what that is, you figure it out!" to push the blame onto people for the problems they may not have caused, but now have no desire to attempt to fix.

But I also figured Butler meant it in the way described above, that everyone can do something to help, but that something will look different for everyone, and is better than doing nothing at all. I think of a Marxist quote "From each according to their ability, to each according to their need." And yes, he is talking about economics here, I think it applies here as well. Although everyone has a different ability to get involved in fixing societal problems, and the needs of each community will look different, we all have the capacity to make a change in a positive direction.

I also agree that it is hard to know where to start and difficult to feel like even a small thing you are doing makes any difference. I obviously can't tell you what to do or even what would help, but starting with local issues has helped me as well as things that I experience that I don't like and want to change.

Anyway I could just be rambling, so take anything I have to say with a grain of salt, but I just wanted to share my thoughts as well. I also have the tendency to come off as rude a lot too, but that was not my intention with this either.

[mayrose713]

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 11

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Sorry for the wait, had a stupid meeting Sunday evening until 10:30 having already worked a full opening shift that morning after a closing shift Saturday night. Then was dead tired Monday that my brain wouldn't fully let me write. But I got it done.

Chapter 11

“Binnie.” Felix walks up to the alpha hugging him as Jisung hugs Chan, Y/n sitting on the stool at the kitchen island watching. 

“Channie.”

“What did you two do?” Changbin eyes the two omega like betas. 

“We didn’t do anything.” Felix places a hand on his chest for being accused. 

“What is it you two want?” Chan questions, pulling away from Jisung to look at the two of them.

“What makes you think we want something?” Jisung pouts. 

“Because you guys always want something.” Changbin gives them a look making the omega laugh as she watches it all happen. 

“And yet you guys never say no to us.” Felix smiles. “But anyways, we do want something.”

“Shocking.” Chan rolls his eyes giving Y/n an unamused look. 

“Can we go on vacation?” Jisung gives the two alphas puppy dog eyes. 

“Vacation?” Changbin looks at the two confused. “Where do you want to go on vacation?”

“And when?” Chan pulls his phone out. “Bin and I were already thinking of spending the holidays in Australia so that Y/n can experience it.”

Felix’s eyes light up at the thought of going to his home country with their omega for the holidays. “That sounds perfect… but we were also thinking of a small vacation with her here soon.”

“You know.” Changbin looks at the head alpha. “With all the stress we’ve had recently, I think we all could use a good vacation. And get to spend some time all together.”

Felix and Jisung both smile widely that they got one of them to agree and look for Chan's permission as well.

Chan sighs looking at his two younger mates before turning to Y/n. “What do you think, baby girl?”

“I think a vacation sounds nice. I would love to spend time with everyone as a pack. It would probably help with a lot of things.” She agrees with the other three. “But what about work for you guys? And for Min at the studio?”

“We run the company, pretty girl.” Changbin smirks. “And the company is all about family and packs, meaning if someone is needing to do something for their family or pack, then they should prioritize that. And this will help our pack bond, so it’ll be fine.”

Y/n nods in understanding, glad that they run their company like that. 

“And Min’s just teaching summer classes.” Jisung speaks up for the second oldest alpha, who’s currently at work. “It's more just private one-on-one and some of the advanced classes but he doesn’t have like a set schedule he sticks to at the moment. Just uses this app where his dancers can put in the days they can be there this summer and he schedules classes weekly based on that.”

“And Seungmin won't be starting baseball tryouts until the very end of the summer so I think we’re all good.” Chan nods. “Where was it you guys were thinking about going?”

“Jeju Island.” They say at the same time.

“Should’ve known.” Changbin rolls his eyes.

Y/n giggles watching all of them lovingly as Chan messages Minho about not scheduling any rehearsals next week. Changbin takes the younger two and hugs them, making them pout as he rambled about no one being able to deny the two. 

“When does your brother want to meet up with us?” Chan looks up from his phone at his omega.

“Ummm… he said any weekend is good, to just let him know.”

Chan nods before looking back at his phone again. “Do you wanna tell him we can meet him in the city on Saturday, have dinner or something and then we leave for Jeju island on Sunday?”

“I’ll see if he’s good with that.”

“Wait.” Jisung gasps. “We’re meeting your brother?” 

“Yes we are.” Chan confirms, and raises a brow at the two younger ones. “So everyone needs to be on their best behavior.”

“Why’d you specifically look at us for that?” Felix eyes his alpha back.

“Because you younger ones are menaces.” Minho comes into the kitchen having just gotten home, poking Jisung in the ass causing him to pout and move away from the older male. 

“Hyuk won’t care as long as you guys are truly yourselves and see that I’m safe and happy.” The omega reassures them.

Felix suddenly rushes over to the kitchen island and eyes Y/n a little before brushing her hair away from her neck, gasping and looking at Chan.

“Hyung?” 

She realizes what he noticed and places her hand over her neck blushing as the other three in the room look at the two omegas confused.

“What’s wrong?” Minho immediately goes into caring alpha mode walking over to Y/n and pushes her hand away from her neck to see the mating bite over her scent gland. “Oh.” 

Jisung and Changbin looks over too and the elder smirks at their alpha and Jisung pouts. “Who said you got to bite her first?”

“What?” Jeongin yells from the other room before you hear him run to the kitchen. “Someone bit Y/n already?”

Jisung points to the girl's neck showing Jeongin as he speaks. “Channie did.”

“Hyung.” The younger alpha joins Jisung in pouting. 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that.” Chan crosses his arms. “I’m pack alpha, I get first claim on our omega, just like I got first claim on all of you.”

The two start to blush causing Chan to grab the two and wrap his arms around them cooing at how cute they are when Y/n’s phone goes off.

“Hyuk said that Saturday is good for him.” She reads her phone. “And sent a restaurant address, it looks like it isn’t too far from your guy's office.

Y/n shows them her phone and Changbin takes note of where the restaurant is. “I’ll go ahead and call to make a reservation for ten of us and see if my family's rental house on Jeju island is available.”

Y/n just gawks, unable to believe that Changbin also has a rental house on an island. What else do they have? 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Y/n stands in her room staring at her nest once again. Her omega instincts have kicked back in fully and she’s been feeling the need to nest all day. But no matter what she does it just doesn’t feel right and she’s not satisfied with it. 

“UGH.” She growls, frustrated, and grabs a bunch of the blankets and pillows, throwing them out of the nest.

“Woah.” Seungmin walks in, wide-eyed, having heard her growl. “What happened in here?” 

She looks at the beta, tears of frustration ready to spill as she drops to the floor, placing her head in her hands. “It’s stupid.” 

“Hey.” Seungmin kneels down in front of her, grabbing her hands to move them away from her face. “What’s wrong, pup?”

“No matter what I do, the nest just isn’t right.” She cries, looking at the mess she’s made.

“I can go get Lix. He can come help you.” He tilts his head trying to get her to look at him.

She shakes her head no and huffs. “I need to figure it out myself.” 

He looks at all the blankets and frowns, noticing that everything is the nesting materials Felix used to create her original one and not the new supplies he and Jisung got that they put in everyone’s rooms to get the packs scent on. 

“I think I might know what your issue is.” 

“What?” She finally looks at him. 

“Why haven’t you gotten any of the blankets or pillows from our rooms?” He grabs one of the discarded blankets, it only smells like her from being in her nest since Felix had put it there.

“Umm…” The omega looks around before sighing. “I didn’t want to take anything from you guys or invade your guys’ rooms.” 

“Baby.” Seungmin gently grabs her chin to make her look at him. “We keep an abundance of pillows and blankets around specifically for you and Felix to take and nest with. We want you guys to be comfortable in your nests with our scents, knowing you're safe.” He rubs her cheek with his thumb a bit. “If we’re needing more in our rooms we’ll just get some from the excess amounts we keep in the rest of the house. And we know eventually they stop smelling like us so you’ll switch them out for new ones from us. We don’t mind, we want you to do that.” 

“Are you sure?” She still seems hesitant so he stands up grabbing her hands to pull her off the ground too. 

“Go pick stuff from each of our rooms that you want for your nest.” He ushers her into the hallway and watches as she slowly walks into Jisungs room first. 

She looks around unsure at first before a certain pillow caught her attention making her want it for her nest. She didn’t want to take it at first in case the beta gets upset that it’s missing but tries to remember what Seungmin said and quickly grabs it, leaving the room before she could talk herself out of it. 

She does this with the others' rooms, taking a blanket or pillow that caught her attention. She took both pillows and blankets from Chan’s, Felix’s and Minho's rooms. And she’s lastly hesitating in front of Hyunjin’s door having just finished in Seungmin’s as she knew the oldest beta is in there.

“Just knock, pup.” She listens to Seungmin and waits for a reply from the oldest beta before opening the door:

“Hey princess, what’s up?” Hyunjin looks up from his sketchbook, where he’s sitting on his bed.

“C-can I…” Y/n mumbles, looking down at the floor. “… take some stuff for my nest?” 

“I didn’t catch that, baby.” 

She sighs. “Can I take some stuff for my nest?” She speaks a bit louder. 

“Princess, look at me.” He waits for her to look up from the floor and his heart melts when she makes eye contact with him. “You never have to ask me to take stuff for your nest, I want you to have my scent if that’s what you're needing.” 

She nods and looks around the room slowly as Hyunjin goes back to sketching. But the only thing she’s wanting is the blanket he’s currently using. She sighs, deciding to just leave empty handed not wanting to take anything if he’s using it.

“Didn’t find anything you wanted?” Hyunjin notices her heading towards the door. 

“N-no.” The omega mutters causing him to frown at the fact she still stutters sometimes around him. “I did, but…” She looks at the blanket over his lap but shakes her head.

“Is it this blanket you’re wanting?” He starts to lift the blanket off of him to give to her.

“No, no. You don’t have to give it to me.” She puts her hands out to stop him but instead the beta rolls up the blanket a little placing it in her arms. “I don’t want to take it if you’re using it.”

“Baby, take the blanket. I can get a different one.” He pushes the blanket further into her hands, walking her out of his room before she tries to put it back on his bed. “Go add it to your nest.” 

Seungmin smiles as he sees the two come out of the room and moves to the side to let Y/n go nest as Hyunjin joins him and they walk down the stairs to join the rest of their mates in the kitchen. 

“You two okay?” Felix asks, noticing them first as he’s baking brownies, the others sitting in the living room look over too. 

“Y/n’s finally giving in to her omega tendencies and is nesting.” Seungmin explains, taking a seat at the kitchen island. 

Felix’s eyes light up. “That’s great.”

“Except she didn’t want to take anything from our rooms to nest with so she was using the old materials you originally had used to make her first nest.” Seungmin sighs. “Found her crying in frustration because she didn’t know why she couldn’t get it right.”

“You told her she can get whatever she needs from our rooms right?” Jisung sit’s forward as if he’s ready to go upstairs and tell her himself.

“Of course I did.” 

“She came to my room last, was afraid to ask for anything.” Hyunjin sighs, grabbing a blanket from the large basket of them in the corner of the living room. “She almost left without anything because she wanted the blanket I was currently using, had to force her to take it.”

“I’ll talk to her.” Chan stands up. “Remind her that this is her home now too.”

The alpha goes up the stairs quickly, walking towards the omega’s room and stops in the doorway. He watches her for a few minutes as she nests. He’s always enjoyed watching Felix nest and waits until either she notices him or she finishes. He watches her, carefully choosing which pillows and blankets to put where, smelling them occasionally to decide how she wants her nest set up. It isn’t until she sits back on her knees looking around the nest satisfied with the outcome that he knocks on the doorframe causing her to turn.

“Hi Channie.” She smiles as he comes in and he sits on the edge of the bed. 

“Hey baby girl.” He watches her as she crawls closer to him and he puts an arm out for her to slot herself into his side. “I see you managed to build your nest by yourself.”

“I did.” She beams, snuggling into his side. “Minnie had to help encourage me a bit.”

“I heard.” He looks down at her. “I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Oh?” Y/n looks at him a bit scared that she’s in trouble for taking stuff from their rooms. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, none of us are upset.” He reassures her, putting out calming pheromones. “I wanted to remind you that you don’t have to be afraid to go around the house. This is your home now too, ya know? Yes we have some rules for you outside of the house but here, you’re free to do what you want. And we want you to take whatever you want for your nest. We just want you to be comfortable, okay?”

“Okay.” She mumbles. “I’ll try to be better about it.”

“I’m not asking you to do better, baby.” He lays his head on top of hers. “Just don’t want you to feel like you have to be cautious around us or walk on eggshells.”

“I guess I’m just used to doing that.” The omega sighs leaning heavily into his side.

“I’m sure you are.” He pulls her closer. “But we’re gonna help you not feel like you have to do that anymore. This home is different from your last one, you’re free here.”

The omega nods in understanding, taking comfort in his words. “Thank you.”

______________________________________________________________

A/N~ now that the pack knows their omega has been claimed by their alpha, who do you think is next to do so?

reminder to keep an eye on the series masterlist of dates for future chapters posting as they get written.

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[mellosdrawings]

I'm feeling like rambling about AI on main, ignore me if it's not your cup of tea.

So a while ago, I did check out those art prompts AI, because when I pester about something, I like to know what I'm rambling about. I like to do a minimum of research and, if possible, try the thing out before making my opinion. For AI art, my opinion was already pretty solid, but I still wanted to check it out.

I found a free prompt stuff online, asked it a super easy prompt, and asked for a handful of different images. Just to see.

The prompt was [character tripping]. Really. Super easy, right? I wanted the thing to have as much liberty as possible.

It's not just that though. I chose this prompt because it is something I did in art school. Our teacher would give us simple prompts, and we would have to draw doodles in 5 minutes or less. Imagine a class of 15 exhausted art students full of caffeine being told to draw someone tripping.

The 15 art students' results? Little boys tripping over tree roots, teenage girls falling while rollskating, business men tripping on their papers and burning themselves with coffee, old ladies cracking a hip, comical falls backwards with a leg up, realistic falls forward with pained expressions, etc etc.

See, our fast doodles weren't any better than AI anatomically speaking. We were missing hands and our faces were distorted and a foot was bigger than another, things that are also common with AI. But the DIVERSITY. I remember being flabbergasted by it. We all had the same prompt, but none of us drew the same thing. I remember drawing the good old banana peel slip from the old comics I read when I was a kid. My best friend drew a kid falling in mud.

We did several prompts like that as training, and I always loved to see what everybody was doing, because it was always so different.

Now, here was the AI result: 5 anime girls in a running position at an angle, making shocked pikachu faces. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. The angle and the running poses were the only things that changed, and even then just slightly.

The AI only did 5 times the same stuff. Art style changed a bit from one to the other, but always the same vibe, always the same composition, and always that godsdamned shocked pikachu face. It was very underwhelming.

I don't care about perfect anatomy and lighting. But I care about creativity. I love seeing things that I would never have thought to do myself. And the AI didn't provide that at all. Coz AI has no creativity whatsoever. If you don't further your prompt to be very specific, it will just reheat the same bland stuff again and again. It's just boring.

I have a lot of grievances about AI. Art theft, environmental blunder, artists being paid even less than they already were (as if people and companies suggesting to pay us in visibility wasn't bad enough). But even on an emotional level there's nothing. Yes, it's great to see one's character/idea brought to life when one cannot draw. But it'll be the blandest stuff ever. That's just a shame.

[sokuly419]

Another thought I can finally put into words (maybe):

Vi asking Cait “can I have a minute?” and then the “promise me you won’t change.” I think this was because she already noticed she changed or was changing (for the worse). Vi almost felt to be saying “don’t change like this. This isn’t you.”

And Cait saying “I won’t.” As if she wasn’t moving her finger towards the trigger as her rifle was aimed at Heenot. As if she didn’t just jump to arresting him and saying he’d spend his retirement in a cell. Jumping right into telling everyone that this is what they trained for.

Cait already changed. Vi needed some kind of hope that she wasn’t going to follow this path further. Just for Cait to not care that there was a child that she could have shot. All because her rage was set on Jinx and only Jinx. The only other thing that she cared about aside from killing her was telling Vi to get out of the way. Vi was the only one in that room she wasn’t willing to hurt. Not knowing she already did because of her actions.

And then we get that heartbreaking scene where Cait hits her with the butt of her rifle. Others have said it before me. We all know Vi has taken a lot worse and walked it off or continued to fight. A hit like that shouldn’t have put her on her knees and kept her there. Not physically. Emotionally she was shattered. She couldn’t move. The gut wrenching whimpers and the broken look on her face. That was when Vi’s fears were confirmed: Cait changed, just like everyone else.

Just me rambling on some thoughts I had last night.

[cimmerian-chaos]

This is just our own musings on things based on our own expirience in being nonbinary, and a bit of a train of thought rambling, but comparing our understanding of these types of issues before meeting and having a lot more trans women in our life, and irl vs before, where our only expirience with trans people in general was on reddit, and a few other places. But back then we had based on lurking in both spaces, had conceptualized the struggles of trans women as "struggles of being AFAB + tranphobia" when that's a wildly different take than the understanding than what we have now.

At the time we also felt more masc leaning, and our observation plus expiriences facing discrimination irl was that transmasc spaces seemed to be either be steeped in toxic masculinity, potentially due to transmascs feeling pressure to "prove themselves" a behavior that's a pretty common expirience being AFAB, but can wind up inaverdently morphing into toxic masculinity. Or what you say and do in transmasc spaces is heavily policed. We personally aren't sure if this is due to internalized transphobia, fear of the response of other trans people, including trans women, or what, bc we didn't stick around in those spaces to find out.

It makes me wonder if part of the problem might stem from how a lot of AFAB people conceptualize what being a man means and is, not fully taking into consideration that those concepts can be intrinsically colored by their expirience in being AFAB. Gender is a social construct, and I feel like a lot of trans people will easily say that in a "fuck the gender binary" kind of way, but don't make the connection of "all social constructs influence our behavior and ways of thinking on very deep levels"

I also worry that due to the spirals of miscommunication, misunderstanding, and consequential distrust, that it'll only deepen the divides that exist between trans men and trans women. We're seeing enough of it as it is with the rise of this behavior of seemingly reinventing gender roles with a queer spin. I feel that trans men and women would be able to learn a lot from each other just by taking the time to understand each others points of view, and uplift each others voices and expiriences, even if it's something that may take time to digest. I know that we've been all the better for it.

But again, we're equally suseptable to those same biases, so if any AMAB folks have any thoughts on any of this, we'd appreciate that input.

[walking confidently into a live minefield] I can't say for sure how we reached the point where "trans women everywhere (read as: everywhere online) oppress/hate/are secretly plotting the downfall of trans men" is a thing that people think is both true and reasonable to believe, but I think at least one factor is a stupid vicious cycle of bad actors and gullible bystanders where, like. you have some guys engaging in shitty misogynistic behavior > some women either try to explain why this behavior is shitty and misogynistic (to no avail) or just disengage entirely > instead of learning from this, the guys act all wounded about it > outside observers who don't have a great grasp on the situation (or maybe don't have great grasp on how misogyny functions in general, or think that only cis men can engage in misogynistic behaviors, or have some kind of unconscious hang-up against trans women) see this and think aw man, these poor dudes are getting ragged on for no reason! > people who weren't necessarily doing the original shitty misogynistic behavior are falsely pointing the finger at trans women for "starting shit" > this is obviously fucking irritating, and no one has an infinite well of patience, so after calmly defending themselves however many times, some of these ladies are just gonna start telling bad-faith jokers to fuck off > shitty dudes and gullible bystanders go "see, they're doing it again! those man-hating harpies!" > women continue to be irritated and (understandably) defensive, tell bad-faith jokers to fuck off > and so on and so forth.

and to be clear "vicious cycle" does not mean "oh well really it's everyone's fault for being involved in the whole mess." I think there's a pretty clear cause and effect here where if you're dismissive of women's voices and viewpoints, and hold them to unfair standards, and just generally aren't very nice, they might not be very nice to you in return. and why should they be!

[eilaafterhours]

HEATED [Xavier]

Content: Smut, Misuse of Evols, Oral Sex, Dirty Talk, Dom/Sub Undertones, Mating Press, Xavier has a Big Dick, Penis in Vagina Sex, Breeding Kink, Coming Inside, Come Eating, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Creampie, Lactation Kink, AFAB Reader, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert

Pronouns: None (AFAB)

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

Remember: I’ll block you if I catch your ageless or under age (not 18+) ass in my activity! 2130 blocked and counting :)

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

You thought that the situation with the cats would stop at the ears, tail and slight change of mannerisms. However, despite this being a sudden yet common occurrence, your Evol resonated with the cat’s, and now you had a grown man in heat ready to bend you over in the streets. 

You struggled to get him home, but managed. The moment you closed the door, he dragged you into the the living room and threw you on the couch. Dropping to his knees, he shoved the skirt of your dress away, revealing the wet patch of your panties and stockings. 

“Can I? Please?” He asked as he nuzzled against your thigh, hands fumbling with his belt. 

You wanted to move to the bedroom, to give him more room to move, but seeing his dick already hard and red as pre-cum drooled from the tip. 

“Okay, sure. Lemme just—” The second you gave him consent, a quick flash of light blinded you, and your heated lower half suddenly felt a lot cooler. “Xavier—fuck!” He had already thrown your legs over his shoulder before shoving his tongue in your cunt. 

“You’re so wet. All for me…” Whispered to your glistening folds, followed by the filthy symphony of your folds conducted by his tongue.

You couldn’t hold back from singing for him. “Mmmh…fuc—ah…” 

The heated haze that clouded his mind was not indulgent. He was not eating you out as a means of foreplay, but because he needed to get you off. He needed his cum to mix with yours, be he knew that he would not last in your tight heat. 

So when you did come, he wasted no time in adjusting your position. Though, he still had enough sense to ask for your permission (despite having you on your back, with your thighs pressed against your chest). 

“Can I come inside?” He was already rubbing against your folds, quickly gathering enough of your slick to easily glide against it. “Please, Master?”

His thick tail was thumping against the edge of the couch. His cat ears were flat against his head, while his human ones were a burning red along with the rest of his face. He was pouting, and you could have sworn that the moonlight had reflected against the tears lining his waterline. 

How could you ever say no to him, when you were oh so very willing?

You beckoned him closer with a finger, “Come closer, Xavier.” Once he was in reach, you snatched him by the tie, licking the shell of his red ear before commanding him. “Please your master well, Xavier.”

He whimpered, his bucking against you, and it took everything in you to not ruin your moment and moan. That all fell apart the moment he entered, however. You understood why Xavier threw his head back and groaned—that was his heat working on him. 

You, on the other hand, did not expect the change in size. Not that you were complaining—of course not—but how could something so big slide in so easily. 

There was no rhythm or reason to the movement of his hips. He was simply racing to reach his peak. It wasn’t a far race, since he had patiently taken care of you before himself.  

The snap of his hips were pounding sloppily into when he asked, “I wanna come inside—can I? Please, Master?” 

“Ah—Are you asking to breed your master, Xavier?” Your hands found his cat ears, smirking as they fluttered between your fingertips. “Shouldn’t I, as your master, be breeding you?” His words became incoherent, but you’re sure you heard a “yes, please” in there somewhere. 

You shelved the thought for now, instead granting him mercy. 

“Fill me ‘til I’m dripping.”

Finally, with your permission, did he come. Pushing himself as deep as he could, he pressed against the spot that had you breathless. Even after you had calmed from your high, he was still coming, and coming, and coming. His body made sure to follow your command to as instructed. 

But neither of you were done yet.

Far from it. 

While partaking in your combined ambrosia, his fingers played you for more. 

“Does Master’s pussy love me?” He pulled away, then pulled your folds open, watching your cunt pulse around nothing. He groaned, diving back in. Despite him coming in you, both of you were ready for him to do it again. 

But he wanted more of your juices before he filled you to the brim again.  

Shoving three fingers into your cunt, he curled them, making sure to assault that spongy spot. You didn’t have enough time to realize what exactly he had pulled from you until his mouth had clamped back on your cunt. 

“Xavier, what the fuck—” Your eyes widen. Despite his face being dripping in your slick, his blue eyes were glazed with that heat.

He was not yet satisfied, and you were becoming more sure that you were being influenced by his heat because you weren’t either.

He didn’t even bother wiping the slick from his chin as he aligned himself, but then he paused and blinked.

“...milk…”

Another flash of light and you were completely exposed to him, your dress split in two on the floor (the stockings were staying on, however). Now, he was sitting up against the couch with you on his dick (when the hell had that happened).

One hand groped one breast while his mouth worked the other, and his hips thrusting into you. 

You were a mess,

but not as much as him.

“If you’re pregnant, you’ll have milk, won’t you, Master?” He sucked hard on your nipple, trying to pull the nonexistent milk from it. “If you get pregnant, can I drink your milk, please?”

You knew you didn’t want kids now in your life, but the way he was talking seriously had you thinking about it. 

Unconsciously, you clench around him. 

And that was your reckoning. 

There was only one thing on his mind:

Feel the heat of your cunt around his dick, let its vice grip milk him for everything he’s got and more.

One good snap of his hips had you coming, and him rambling, damn near praying to you. 

“Yes, fuck! Yes, Master! Milk me for everything! It’s all yours, everything I’ve fucken—fuck! Let me fill you—I’ll make sure my Master is filled up so good…” 

A prayer so deprived that you were sure it was one-of-a-kind.

“Can—shit—can I come in you again? Right after this? I…I wanna see how it looks. Your puffy pussy still wanting more even after I’ve got you leaking out my cum—Fuck! Fuck—Y’ll let me clean you up, right? Let me go done on you one last time?” At the end of that deprived man’s prayer, his gaze met yours.

You closed your eyes, resigned. Who were you to deny your kitten’s deepest desires.

“I want them to hear me beyond the Deepspace, Xavier.”

“Yes, Master.”

Breeding Kink with no uterus? More likely than you think!

Now that my uterus is gone, you'll probably be reading more from me from now on (not my own uterus being my ovaries fucking inhibitor LMAO (FUCK THAT UTERUS THO IT WAS TRYING TO KILL ME, THAT BITCH).

Anyway, shout out @/javacat person on Twitter for making me insane. Let's also thank my usual possession for the Master shit to come out, that shit blindsided me (a lot of this fic blindsided me tbfh).

I might try to do something with the other three but DO NOT HOLD ME TO IT.

Anyway, oh wait chile, I just realized I was supposed to quote the last thing he says in his kindled. SEE, SEE! THIS IS HOW BAD THE POSSESSION GETS. Head in fucking hands.

Edit: I'd like to thank my bestie for reminding me to add "Come Eating" tag SKSKSKSKSKSKSK

Masterlist

[hikariyuushi]

HCs for Homicipher Boys and How They Sound

No voiceclaims cause I'm terrible at searching those up, but I think I got a general idea of tone for some of the guys. Comes with some HC dialogue for how they might sound in human language.

Mr. Crawling is a very soft spoken type. He'll talk a LOT, perhaps a bit rambly, but he's always earnest in his words. "I... I'm so sorry. It's just, I thought you might've needed some help. Oh, you did? And you'd like me to come with you? O-of course!"

Mr. Hood's voice is very stern, but caring in the right circumstance. Very much focused on getting straight to the point when he speaks. "This place is full of hostiles. You should leave. You need help? ...Very well, I will aid you."

Mr. Silvair is your typical methodical doctor type voice. Maybe a hint of sadism slips in every now and again when he starts speaking about his research. "How fascinating... not a single visible reaction to these chemicals. I'll have to conduct more studies. Simply too fascinating..."

Mr. Chopped uses all the energy that would've gone into moving a body, and put it towards being absolutely animated in his voice and facial expressions. He is loud. He needs to be, if he wants to get any sort of assistance in this place. "Hey! HEY! You, yeah you! Down here! Ugh, could you please pick me up? My hair's such a mess..."

Mr. Gap is more raspy. He sounds like he's always snickering when he asks for body parts. Very much has 'annoying little brother' vibes. "Hey. Hey guess what? I saw this pretty neat thing from that giant pile over there. You wanna see? You gotta give me your eye. Oh c'mooon, it's just an eye, you got two of 'em. You don't need both. Fiiiiine. Laaaame."

Mr. Machete's voice is gruff. Probably uses even less words than Mr. Hood just cause he does what he wants anyways, so why does he need to communicate it? "Hey, tiny. Fight me. No? Too bad. You're my new prey."

Mr. Scarletella's voice always has this odd effect to it, and it only gets worse the more insistent he gets. The voice starts close to normal at first. But then the whispers come out of nowhere. The atmosphere feels even more tense. And if he gets agitated enough to where you can only see his eye staring into your soul, his voice no longer sounds like it's coming from him, but inside your own head. "...your name. There's nothing I want more. Please. Please tell me. Please. Please. Please." Please tell me.

[meanbossart]

First of all, I love the though you put into the Drow’s personality and how it affected/ affects his behavior pre and post tadpole.

Secondly, I have a question. You have mentioned that Durge is extremely monogamous when it comes to romantic partners. Is that also true to some degree with his friendships? Like does he feel a “destined” connection to Shadowheart? Also, did he have any friends at all pre tadpole?

Thank you so much! And YES, absolutely, and you might be one of the first people to point out how his approach to relationships does in fact extend to her as well.

While DU drow places his companions in different boxes, he does believe Shadowheart and Astarion to be essential pieces of his life in the same way, even if they fulfill very different roles. He feels a similar degree of responsibility over them both as well as holding the belief that, even if they were to grow apart as people, fate would continually bring them together - interestingly enough though, I think he feels more divided about Shadowheart being "stuck" with him than he does so about Astarion. Probably because he sees how, despite the connection they have, she has developed towards a slightly different direction. They are still friends, they still have a lot in common, but Shadowheart probably has the capacity to be slightly more... Well-adjusted than DU drow is. I think this is a silent but awkward understanding between them that they don't know how to approach, or solve.

That was a whole lot of rambling, but to try and put this thought down more succinctly: yes, DU drow believes his friendship with Shadowheart is a work of fate, he also does not believe he has the ability to forge that connection with anyone else. Unlike his relationship with Astarion, though, he feels a little guilty about this from time to time (and it's worth nothing how he thinks of himself just as irreplaceable in her life as she is in his).

Pre-tadpole, he had a close-but-definitely-no-cigar situation with Gortash:

While he is undoubtedly a better friend to Shadowheart, I could make the case for very minor parallels between the above and the early days of their friendship, before Shadowheart allied with the Night Song of her own volition and gave up on becoming a Dark Justiciar.

Otherwise, DU drow had no friends. The only people he willingly spent time with for leisure were Orin and Gortash: everyone else were pawns, servants, or acolytes.

[angelwishess]

୨୧ TWST HCS !~

Heartslabyul | Savannaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomfiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

— Rambling / Details utc~

Since Heartslabyul is based on Alice in Wonderland, I thought it’d fit for everyone to look super unique in some aspect!! Ace is the only one that wears a varisty jacket, Deuce has the most piercings, Trey has a bunch of different glasses, and Cater has the most accessories !! And Riddle….. hes Riddle idk /j

Riddle: He is a pretty boy and no one can convince me otherwise. I didn’t add it but i imagine hes rather pale, and gets embarrasingly red in the heat. Has the most beautiful purple-blue eyes and almost looks like a doll honestly. Slight, reddish freckles if u look hard enough lol (I also hc that he gets a white streak of hair after Book 6, but I forgot to add it 😭)

Ace: I didn’t add it, but I imagine he wears a varsity jacket instead of the school blazer!! The thought of him looking like a typical disney show bully was just too funny to me. Much messier / fluffier hair, and has such long, dark lashes that it makes every girl he’s ever known jealous. He knows it too, and hes an ass about it, will flutter his lashes whenever someone mentions it. Had stud piercings because yes !!! (Regarding the varsity jacket, I’ll draw how I think it looks some time :3)

Deuce: Slightly longer hair, but he tries his best to keep it neat. Has alot of ear piercings, but he tries to cover it up with his hair 😭. Super pretty bottom lashes , and a nice beauty mark underneath his eye. Has really pretty lips :3 He tries to wear both his nrc and dorm uniform as correctly as possible (struggles to tie a tie and has to redo it like 50 times) (<- His tie still ends up a lil wonky lol)

@skibidibabygirl DEUCE MENTIONED

Trey: I will be honest, I struggled alot with him 😭. Couldn’t think of anything major, but I thought it’d be nice to give him colorful glasses teehee. I would’ve done something better with that but I couldn’t find any good refs 😭, but i imagine he has a lot of cool looking glasses he just switches up cuz why not its silly and i like it HEHE. I added two little beauty marks on him too, as well as some gold ear piercings. One being a lil hoop like Cater’s :33. Idk if its noticable but I made his shoulders broader too!! That man is built no one can convince me otherwise baking weirdly has a lot of arm strength involved 😭

Edit: I imagine him to have a bunch of glasses like these!!!

Cater: Fashion KING. He LOOVES to accessorize. Rings, bracelets, necklaces, you name it !! I added some lil chain thingys on his tie too :3 Slightly longer blazer, and oversized pants. I gave him lip piercings just because it looked cool tbh HAHAHA, messier hair and two beauty marks under his eye to match Trey !! <3 He has painted nails, and I also gave him a hair clamp that makes his lil ponytail into the shape of a diamond if you look at him from behind. Customizes his uniforms as much as possible, the opposite of Deuce LMAOO

[guppybibi]

Part 1!

Johnny was practically convinced that the clock was broken by this point, because it had no reason to be that slow!

He was ready to clock out and head to the pub around 2 hours ago, so now he's just impatiently tapping the wooden table and waiting to get out.

"John!" His coworker calls out, right. The bet, he had to pay up. A deal was a deal and Johnny is a man of his word. "Right, just a second. Let me get my wallet, lad." He answered, quickly reaching into his pocket to grab his wallet.

"No no, you have got to tell me what happened between the two of you." Johnny raises a brow in confusion, muttering about how giving out context clues should be mandatory under his breath.

"The two of wh—"

"You and the pretty gal! Y/N was it? I checked the record books." They cut him off, continuing their rambling. "You looked like you were about to jump out of your skin when you were talking to her, c'mon open up, man! What were you two talking about?"

Johnny groans at the thought of the moment again, remembering the pure awkwardness and the tension that lingered in the air when Simon's name fell out of your lips.

"It's nothing, none of your business." Johnny replies in a dismissive tone, he noticed their mouth opening and instantly shut them up. "Will you leave me alone if I pay ye?"

Rude, maybe–but it's not nice to force information out of people who aren't willing to. What's this? A fucking interrogation? But..hey! He paid up and they left him alone, a win-win situation.

Johnny knew fully well that your business wasn't his business, and he completely respects that. But Simon's business was his business as well. And you were apart of Simon's business for who knows how long, so he should deserves to get filled in on what happened.

And as if the gods have answered his prayers, it was time to get his ass out of here! Johnny wasted no time and dashed out right after clocking out, he needs to pay his best friend a visit.

Simon was going on about his day, calmly wiping down some bottles while making small talk with the customers when necessary, not really bothering to look up at them. He was so focused on his work that he didn't notice Johnny bolting in and grabbing the closest seat to Simon.

"Simon!" Johnny calls out, slightly startling Simon. An unimpressed scowl was on the blonde man's face..or maybe it was always there. Johnny couldn't really tell with the bright flashing lights here. Whatever, not important.

"Here for a drink, Johnny?" Simon asks, still fixated on getting this one dirty spot of a glass. The Scot nodded, leaning closer to Simon. "Yea, here to talk about somethin' too. Get me some tequila though, just put it in my tab. I think I might have a lot to drink tonight."

The Brit chuckles quietly, shaking his head in disbelief. "Thought you said it tasted like dog piss." Welp whatever the customer says, no? Simon starts preparing the tequila while Johnny spoke.

"It does, but it won't hurt if I try it again. Who knows? I might like it." Alright, he did make sense this time..Simon wasn't going to fight it, he hands over the glass of tequila.

The moment the alcohol got in his mouth, it was practically going straight back out. Johnny had only managed to swallow the liquid out of pure willpower.. "Never mind..it would hurt if I tried it again." He mumbled, wiping his lips and setting the glass aside for now.

"So..have ye been seein' anyone?" Simon, who was mixing up some cocktails now, raised a brow. "No..ain't got the time for it." Simon was wondering where this conversation would end up..

"Really, eh? How about in these past few years?" Simon wasn't sure what Johnny was planning, probably isn't any good. It rarely is.

"Why'd you want to know, mate?" Simon fires a question back, Johnny's shoulders visibly tense up. "Just curious.."

That sounded very typical for someone like Johnny, but there's no doubt that there was something more to it. "Just tell me, mate. It can't be the end of the world."

Johnny sighed, downing the glass of tequila despite the horrific taste. He was going to need a lot more than that.."Fine..I've had this client come in, asking for a cover up tattoo to cover her ex-boyfriend's name. She's a lovely looking lass too.."

Simon listened intently, wondering what this has got to do with him, he let Johnny continue. "I noticed that she had another covered up tattoo close to her more recent one so I asked her what was written on it.."

Again, what has this got to do with Sim—"She said 'Simon Riley' was written on it." Oh. Alright that made sense, not that it made it any better.

Simon tries to recall past memories of his relationships, big and small. It wasn't too hard to remember since memories were stored into his brain like an insanely accurate library. He remembers you, even if he wished he didn't.

"Y/N..?" Simon muttered, eyes wide as if he witnessed a ghost walking through.

...Not exactly the ideal situation Johnny wanted to be in, despite causing it.

[neverthatsirius-jo]

[present jo note: read this last night with my notes app open so i could go annotating hope u don’t mind i wrote a lot :p]

if u couldn't tell it's very inspired by early 2000s romcoms

wooo, just as im in my romcom watching era. perfect 🥳🫶

James was nothing to fawn over.

?! ?! ?! ?!?!2€/ ?!;@/€:@

"Was it professional when I was your first kiss?" He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back, feeling the plaster wall graze your back through your work blazer.

"It was spin the bottle and we were twelve, it's ancient history. And do you mind? I know you're some kind of god around here but I have a reputation to uphold,"

YOU WERENT FUCKING LYING THIS IS SO ROM COM GAAAAAH

"Not Lily! Have I missed my chance forever?"

this made me giggle teehEe

"She doesn't like beer, thinks it tastes like piss." You whipped your neck around at the familiar voice, mouth dropping open at the sight of James Potter.

i would murder him. my face would be so red

"Are you thick? I only said that because I fancied you!"

"What do you mean you said it because you fancied me? That is not normal!" You whirled around, accusatory finger pointed his way.

"I don't know! I thought I was supposed to! It wasn't cool to be a sap!" James argued back, running a hand through his already tousled curls.

ilovethemilovethemilovethem

thinking of u :P <3

GODDDD WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE JAMES POTTER NOT BEING REAL

"This photo was taken when we were twelve or thirteen years old at someone's party. That night, as you tend to do when you're young and bored, we played spin the bottle and ended up being each other's first kiss. I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm telling this story now, and it's because ever since that night as I have recently realised, almost a decade later, I have been embarrassingly, stupidly in love with her."

giggling and crying all at the same time

"And though I've done some incredibly dumb things over the years, somehow she's managed to like me back -- at least a little. So I'm setting the record straight right now, she is not 'sleeping to the top' or trying to get a secret scoop out of me because I'm the one who's been chasing after her for twelve years.

"I know I've been rambling on for far too long so I'll wrap it up here, but I just wanted to end this little conference with a warning that if I see any more disgusting, hateful articles about her, you won't be getting another comment from me again. So nice to see you all!"

😔😭🥳✨💗👹 i cant

11k WORDS? WERE BEING FED FOLKS. i feel like a squirrel with her supply of nuts for the winter HAHSH WHAT AM I SAYING SOMEONE SHUT ME UP (preferably james potter and with a kiss thanks)

summary: loved this, gia. it was very rom-com, very cutesy 💗🫶✨

our names in the paper - footballer!james potter x fem!sports journalist!reader

wc: 11,151

cw: swearing, fade to black but suggestive moments?, smoking, slut-shaming, kissing

info: r and james are about 24, set in 2007ish solely for the romcom vibes. james is the equivalent of like David Beckham in his prime, all pics are for vibes only, not reflective of r's appearance etc

me: i've been working on this for soooo long i am so happy it's finally done!! if u couldn't tell it's very inspired by early 2000s romcoms and i am honestly so proud of it so praying it doesn't flop LOL

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"James, James! Over here! What's the defence strategy this season?"

If you had to hear James' name one more time you might scream. Unfortunately, you were locked in a room with nothing but that. Worse, you were part of the problem.

"Mister Potter, what do you think about your striker's goal-to-game ratio falling rapidly this season?" You called, begrudgingly hoping for a moment of the soccer star's attention. Fortunately (or unfortunately), his glittering eyes settled on you, singling you out from the room of hungry journalists.

"I think that you miss one hundred per cent of the shots you don't take," He said, smirk turning to something challenging, "And as long as my team is training and working together, I'm not gonna cry over a bit of spilt milk or missed goals. And, as far as I'm concerned we're still winning games, aren't we?" You rolled your eyes, scribbling down his answer nonetheless.

You continued the catfight of trying to get answers for your newest article, keeping the balance of vying for James' attention and showing him you didn't care for him personally, unlike the other journalists you were pushing against. The conference room was full of men and women who wanted to be James or be with him. Aside from the professional questions, there were certainly several invitations to the pub thrown around, and you were sure you saw one woman try and give him her cellphone number. You rolled your eyes again at that, James was nothing to fawn over.

He might be a big shot now, but you'd known him almost all your life. The two of you had gone to school together and had bickered through every interaction since then. James had always wanted to be a football star, and you a journalist. You'd never believed in him and vice versa, both of you taking every opportunity to tease the other or cut each other down. Maybe it was just clashing personalities, two people too ambitious to be friends. The rivalry had lasted past school, and unfortunately, the two of you often crossed paths in your respective careers.

The press conference wrapped up soon after your question, and you ended up lingering in the room trying to finish your notes. James was still over at his podium next to his coach, drinking out of a plastic water bottle and arduously texting on his flip phone. Seeing you hovering by the door he called your last name, sauntering up behind you. You rolled your eyes and braced yourself for the encounter.

"Potter." You smiled curtly, moving to leave.

"You don't have to call me 'Mr Potter' during the conferences, you know. James is perfectly fine, everyone else calls me that."

"Just trying to stay professional," You said through gritted teeth, aware his coach and a few others were still around you. It could cost you your job to snap at him.

"Was it professional when I was your first kiss?" He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back, feeling the plaster wall graze your back through your work blazer.

"It was spin the bottle and we were twelve, it's ancient history. And do you mind? I know you're some kind of god around here but I have a reputation to uphold," You whispered, glancing around anxiously. James laughed at your distress which only annoyed you further. Maybe he could get away with anything, but you had to fight for your place in your field as a female sports journalist, you couldn't afford to take it lightly.

You couldn't help the physical reaction to being trapped between James and the wall though, your breathing shallow and quick, face tilted up slightly to look at him. You felt a bit like prey, caught in the predator's territory and resigned to imminent death.

"Let her go, will you? She's just doing her job," Remus Lupin said, entering the conference room with his nose crinkled from the smell. You couldn't blame him, sweaty players and hungry journalists didn't make any kind of utopia together.

"I wasn't doing anything!" James cried, hands up in surrender, "Come on love, I was just giving you the scoop, right?"

"First of all, if you were giving me 'the scoop' right now I'd certainly be accused of sleeping to the top by all the blokes waiting out there," You gestured to the group of other reporters still lingering in the hall waiting for any scraps of information, "And secondly, I work for the bloody Sunday People, not the BBC. I honestly think they'd rather I just write about your 'dashing good looks' or a drug scandal than your games," You complained, falling back into the ease of conversation now that Remus was there. He'd been at school with the both of you, growing up to be a physiotherapist, but was always much more palatable than James.

Both men laughed at your plight.

"If you ever need a more detailed look at my dashing good looks just ask, sweetheart. I'd be glad to show you, you know, for your articles." You rolled your eyes at James' attempt to be charming, snapping your notebook shut.

"Alright, I think that's my cue to go," You said curtly, smoothing out your work trousers. "Remus, I'll return Dracula next time I see you; I'm almost finished." You remembered you'd had his novel for quite a while, sparing him a smile on the way out.

"You lend her books?" James asked incredulously, hazel eyes curiously following your figure down the hall. Remus just shrugged, patting James on the shoulder and attending to his actual job, checking up on the players after the match.

James was still hung up on the fact when he returned to the apartment he shared with Remus and Sirius, flabbergasted as he hung his coat on the rack.

"Since when are you two close enough to be sharing books?" He cried as he paced through the kitchen, "Have we not all been in agreement that she is stubborn and hard-headed and annoying and has been since school?"

"No," Remus shook his head, "You decided that, and I daresay she feels the same about you. I've always rather liked her."

James was unexpectedly dumbfounded at the realisation that you weren’t the common enemy he thought you were. Even Sirius didn’t seem to dislike you, always stopping for a chat when you were around the stadium and giving you extra comments with a flirty wink.

James didn’t need to think about you for another few weeks; his team hadn’t played one week and you’d been assigned other matches for the others — he read your very amusing pieces on lawn bowls and chess-boxing, partly because he knew you’d hate the assignment.

You were blissfully apart until one Saturday night. You were out with your friends and a few coworkers and James was out with his. He’d started in the local pub while you were at a fancy cocktail restaurant for Lily’s bachelorette party, however, your groups crossed paths in the depths of a nightclub.

Maybe you were getting too old for them, waking up with sore backs and knees after nights of dancing, but it didn’t mean you wouldn’t give it a red hot go. And with a few cocktails in your system, nobody could convince you it wasn’t a good idea.

You'd been shaking what your mother gave you for the better part of an hour before it was your turn to get another round, telling the girls you'd be back before stumbling through a sea of sweaty bodies.

Some gross man who was definitely too old for you obstructed your path, grabbing your arms to make you dance with him. Your face crinkled in disgust of its own accord, trying to wiggle yourself free. He continued to encroach on your space, forcing you around despite your persistence. Finally, a man's hands landed on his shoulders, yanking him away and subsequently freeing you from his grasp. The momentum sent you tumbling in your strappy heels, right into something warm and solid. You cringed, having been there before. You turned slowly to meet your unwitting saviour, huffing when you realised it was James.

"Oh, fuck off," You grumbled, mostly to yourself, producing a quick apology to not seem totally impolite.

"Alright?" Sirius asked, revealing himself as the one who'd gotten you away from the creep. You shrugged, fixing your hair.

"Been better," You told him, preparing to leave before seemingly their whole team had surrounded you, all greeting you loudly. You weakly waved at them, feeling dreadfully underdressed and professional. You were used to seeing them in the stadium and press conferences where you were much more modestly dressed. The strapless mini dress wasn't giving you the same layer of protection.

"Right," You said when there didn't seem to be any more productive conversation happening, "I'm off to the bar then."

"Let me buy you a drink, to make up for the freak," One of the players, Frank, said. You smiled but shook your head.

"I'm buying for several, it wouldn't be fair. It's Lily's bachelorette." You directed the last sentence to those who knew her, the football and journalism professions having considerable overlap due to events and the never-ending scandals and interviews. James covered his face in mock-devastation.

"Not Lily! Have I missed my chance forever?" He moaned, earning some shoves from the rest of the group. You and Lily had been friends since uni, and you'd introduced her to the boys at one of the terrible house parties you'd endured over your three years studying. James had developed a thing for her right away (no one knew how much of it was serious and how much was for comedic value) and had been loudly pining for her ever since, despite her long-term relationship with Dirk Cresswell, an economist who worked in the building down the block from your office.

"I think you missed your chance the first time," You retorted with a snort, a little drunk to have any ferocity in your tone. You both made a face at each other, ignoring the laughter of those around you. You dismissed the group and danced away, shaking your arse over to the bar.

A few rounds later and you were not in your best shape. The girls had been absolute menaces, feeding you shots and deceiving colourful cocktails that actually held like seven standards in them, and you were certainly feeling the effects. You excused yourself from the group to find a loo, bile rising in your throat as you pushed past dancers, not even sparing a comment for James as you saw him.

That confused both James and his friends, becoming used to your insistent teasing over the years. He exchanged a look with Sirius, following you through the crowd and to the bathrooms.

He figured something was wrong when you burst into the gender-neutral bathrooms, not bothering to lock the door behind you. James and Sirius silently fought about who was going to follow you in and check on you; James found you insufferable, Sirius had severe emetophobia and would probably throw up himself if he had to be close to you vomiting. James rolled his eyes, it was his responsibility. Sirius clapped him on the back gratefully, leaving him to return to the others. James sighed, reciting some affirmations before he cracked the door open, calling out to you.

When you responded with a disgusting wretch, James slipped inside, gagging a little as he saw you leant over the toilet bowl, bare knees on the grimy tile floor.

"Alright?" He asked for lack of anything better, unsurprised when you replied with another gag.

"I feel ill," You said pathetically, head hung low in the bowl which James knew you would resent tomorrow. He laughed quietly, getting closer to you.

"No shit, idiot," His tone was light as he began to rub your back softly, making sure your hair was away from your mouth. You vomited a few more times, your body reacting in violent hurls as James tried to be both soothing and as far away as possible.

When your stomach was finally empty you slumped against the toilet, cheek pressed against the cool porcelain.

"Woah," James pulled you up to a sitting position, "That cannot be good for your skin. Let's get you home, okay?" You nodded petulantly, letting yourself be led out through the club, James telling Lily he'd make sure you got home (and congratulated her on the upcoming wedding).

"Can we get some gum or something? My throat tastes like vom." James looked down at you from where you were lodged into his side, legs shaky as you wobbled down the street. He sighed and steered you in the direction of a convenience store, picking out strawberry gum for you since it tasted better than mint, your words. Good you thought when he paid for it, the football star can shell out 2 pounds, makes more than you anyhow.

You chewed happily, stumbling down the pavement as James held onto you, keeping you upright.

"You're so muscly," You said, somewhat in a drunken haze.

"Thank you?" James laughed, patting you softly on the forearm he was holding. To be fair, you weren't quite sure if it was a compliment either. Your words were admittedly oddly nice but your tone made it confusing, drunk thoughts not completely translating to sober dynamics.

You meandered for a few oddly peaceful minutes, neither of you starting an argument or picking a fight. It was a nice break from normal, the two of you even sharing some peaceful small talk -- discussing a movie you'd both seen recently.

Of course, nothing good lasts.

"James!" A voice yelled from the other side of the street, a short man with mousy mannerisms. James groaned beside you.

"Peter Pettigrew," He whispered to you, trying to pull you along faster, "We used to be mates but turns out he was just using me to get team secrets out into the papers." You whipped your head around to look at him. Oh! You knew Pettigrew, unsurprising given you both reported on essentially the same topics, but he had a bad name even in your circles. He was closer to a paparazzi than a journalist, going for the cheap stories and ad hominem approaches rather than searching for any meaningful insights. Simply put, in an already sleazy career, Peter Pettigrew was the bottom of the barrel.

"Later, mate. I'm in the middle of something right now." James put his arm around your shoulder, better shielding you as he tried to make a getaway. The telltale flash of a camera reflected off the grey pavement, making both you and James whip your heads around to face Peter, looking hardly ashamed of himself. After a moment of shock, you both covered your faces, stumbling down the street as fast as you could manage. The damage was already done.

Suddenly you didn't feel as drunk, navigating the cobblestone streets with unanticipated nimbleness. James might've had the athlete's advantage but you were on home turf, leading him through local shortcuts and to the front door of your apartment building.

On the journey over you'd attracted a few more photographers all fiending for a scandalous picture of James, a small mob forming as you tried to punch in the door code despite your shaking hands. James was right behind you, front pressed to your back, holding his Adidas windbreaker out in a position to shield your face from the prying eyes.

You slammed the door shut, the nosy questions and camera clicks immediately muffled. James let out a long sigh, running a hand through his already tousled hair. Neither of you spoke for a while, processing what had happened.

"Make yourself at home then." You cringed as you surveyed the state of your flat; clothes flung over chairs and dishes still in the sink. Your only option for living alone was cramming all your stuff into what was essentially a shoebox, so any amount of mess made the place look chaotic.

"Nice place," James said and you immediately rolled your eyes, snatching up a stray bra strewn across an armchair. "No, I mean it! It's cozy. Very you." He gestured up at the colourful, mismatched glassware in a kitchen cabinet and the beaded curtain separating your bedroom. You blushed slightly; you didn't often take men home, your flat staying a girly paradise just for you.

You put on the kettle, comforted by the familiar sounds of water beginning to boil. James sat awkwardly on an armchair near the window, anxiously peeking out from behind the curtain every few minutes. His reactions told you the paparazzi were still loitering outside.

James took his tea gratefully, surprisingly still agreeable despite all the terrible things that had happened in the course of a few hours.

"Do you have a back exit or something? Somewhere I can slip out and get home?" You shook your head with a grimace.

"Only the fire exit, but that still goes out near the front. Otherwise we're surrounded by other buildings."

"You must be exhausted after everything. Head off to bed, I'll wait until the gits outside fuck off then lock the door behind me. We don't have to ever mention this again if you don't want." The orange lamp light made James' eyes look unfairly soft, highlighting the golden flecks amongst the brown. You steeled your nerve and shook your head.

"I'm not that bad of a host," You tried to joke, "Besides, don't you have training tomorrow? You're already up later than I'm sure you intended to be. I couldn't live with myself if I ruined England's star player by making him stay up all night, you take my bed and go to sleep." You were both very carefully trying to keep things light, not wanting to spend any more of the night miserable and fighting.

"Well, I'm not taking your bed, that's just impolite. I'll take the couch, if you're being so generous as to let me stay." He had a cheeky smile on his lips as he said it, both of you dancing around the fact that in any other circumstance James wouldn't have been allowed within fifteen feet of your flat.

"That couch? No way." You pointed at the teensy vintage sofa sitting in front of the boxy television. It had space for maybe two and a half arses to sit on it, maybe horizontally extended legs if you were short-ish, but there was no way the goliath James Potter was getting any decent sleep on it. "You take the bed. I'll survive the couch tonight."

"Don't be stupid, I can't sleep in your bed. If not the couch I'll take the floor."

"Speaking from a purely medical standpoint, I haven't cleaned these floors recently enough for it to be safe to have your face in such close proximity. Take the bed, Potter."

You bickered for a few long minutes, both of you trying to outdo each other's respect as host and guest, respectively. You didn't miss the irony that even when you and James were getting along you were fighting.

"I'm not letting you go without, that's final." You turned away to go fetch a pillow for your night on the couch when James said something you never ever thought you'd hear from him.

"Then sleep with me."

"Excuse me?" You all but shrieked, immediately cringing as you thought about your poor neighbours.

"Look, it's basically morning, we're both shattered and I'm sure your bed is much comfier than whatever alternative you're planning. We can even go full pillow-wall if it'll make you feel better." You stared at him for several moments, lips actually agape. Never in your life did you think James Potter would be asking you to share a bed with him, and never in your life did you think you'd be considering it.

"Fine."

Twenty minutes later and you were both ready for bed. You'd found James an old pair of an ex-boyfriend's long abandoned pyjamas, stuffed in a bottom drawer. They were slightly too small to accommodate all his muscles, the t-shirt sitting a few inches above the pants' waistband, giving him a very '90s crop top and exposing his happy trail.

You were almost definitely more embarrassed than James. You were in a similarly aged pair of pyjamas, a cartoon of Spongebob over your chest. You couldn't tell if you'd prefer to be in the lame pair that you were wearing or a cute pair -- no, it would probably look like you were trying too hard. Which you weren't. You didn't care about looking cute in front of James Potter, why would you?

He was already in bed when you'd returned from your skincare routine, face fresh and moisturised, and though you knew he was going to be there, nothing could have prepared you for the sight of James Potter in your bed. Tucked up to the chin under your frilly floral grandma sheets, he looked the picture of cozy.

"Don't bloody touch me, I mean it. I want to feel alone in my own bed," You snapped, sliding under the covers, pulling the doona similarly high up to your chin. You turned over to the centre of the bed to find James already on his side looking at you. You let it be for a moment, surprisingly enjoying the sleepover vibes you'd created.

"Okay this is weird now, the pillow's going up." You slammed a long decorative cushion in between the both of you, secretly smiling at the sleepy giggle James let out.

The first time you awoke it was hazy, still early in the morning with golden sunbeams streaming through your curtains. Warmth enveloped you, keeping you cozy despite the winter morning outside. You shifted to burrow deeper into your blankets when a groan came from behind you, startling you more awake as you recognised the feeling of muscular arms wrapped around your middle. It suddenly all came back to you, James walking you home, the paparazzi, you making an absolute fool of yourself. However, James was a portable heat source and extremely comfortable so you let yourself ignore everything that had led up to it, allowing yourself another few hours of blissful sleep.

The second time you woke up James was gone. That wasn't surprising given he definitely had early morning training, but you would reluctantly admit that it was a little lonelier in your bed than it usually was.

You didn't leave the house for the rest of the day, finally cleaning your apartment after much too long. Turns out all you needed was to be embarrassed in front of a guest to get you motivated.

Monday morning you weren't hungover anymore, but you were mourning the weekend that had passed much too quickly. Still, things were running smoothly enough; you didn't miss the tube and had snagged a seat, and your makeup was looking absolutely grand. You were absolutely thriving.

That was, until you crossed the threshold of the Sunday People offices and the jerks from the politics columns started bothering you, as if a Monday morning wasn't punishment enough.

"Meet anyone nice over the weekend, sweetheart?" One crowed from his desk chair, looking positively dickhead-ish in his too-small button-up.

"Or still on the clock maybe? We know you're always hunting for a good story." The combination of both remarks confused you, but you strutted past them with a quick glare in their general direction, your clicking heels producing enough attitude that you didn't need to say anything.

As you approached your own desk area, you had the distinct and uncomfortable feeling that everyone was looking at you. You couldn't think of why, but subtly wiped the edge of your lips in case it was foolishly smudged lipstick.

You even swore you heard one of the royal writers -- an awful woman maybe twenty years older than you -- say something about your 'promiscuity' and 'unprofessionalism'. You didn't know where it was coming from. You weren't friends by any means but you usually just stayed out of each other's way, you didn't throw around insults at your workplace. You glanced down at your outfit but nothing seemed especially revealing, the same button-up and pencil skirt you always wore if you weren't doing field work.

You were really starting to wonder why everyone was looking at you when even Lily was sending you pitiful glances. You had just made up your mind to say something about it when your boss came striding towards you, anger emanating in a way which only middle-aged men can do.

"What is this?" He slammed a Daily Mail tabloid down on your desk. The office was dead silent. You looked down at it, wholly confused as to what it could be -- your last article was approved without any troubles.

THE 'INSIDE' SCOOP? POTTER GETS COZY WITH REPORTER ON NIGHT OUT

And there, right under the brazen headline, was the stupid picture that Peter Pettigrew took. The two of you out on the street, you tucked into James' side with his arm around you. Your face wasn't totally visible, but anyone who already knew you would recognise the figure and fashion.

You could feel your face drop as you read the article, a barrage of slut-shamey insults and reports of how intimate you and James were out on the streets of London -- all entirely false, of course. When you'd finished reading the piece the whole office was staring at you, waiting to see how you'd react.

"It's a lie," You said quietly, trying to stop your hands from shaking as they rested on your lap. There was a pregnant pause as your boss processed what you were saying, clearly confused. None of your coworkers dared to speak.

"Bullshit," He replied, face blooming red as he decided you weren't being truthful. "That's you and that's James, there's no denying that. The whole bloody country will be able to see you two getting cozy on the street. How do you reckon this reflects on me, having your name and workplace published alongside your completely unprofessional affair?"

"I understand that it looks bad, but it's not what you think at all. J- uh, Potter was just helping me get home after a chance encounter because I wasn't feeling well, then he hid at my place because of all the paparazzi. Nothing happened." It was a weak explanation, even you could tell, even though it was completely true.

The arseholes over in Politics were already sniggering to themselves and you wished you could have ripped them a new one. Instead, you were cowering underneath your brutish boss.

"It's your word against Pettigrew's, and only one of you's been printed. You've been publicly humiliated and we're getting bad press for it."

Your boss had left you with the threatening promise that the issue would be brought up with your superiors and the whispered opinions of every single person you worked with. You choked out an excuse to get out of the office, taking the lift up to the rooftop to cry.

You had peace for a few minutes, getting the most embarrassing of the sobs out alone.

"Did you actually sleep with him?" If it was anyone else you probably would have snapped, yelling at them for being so insensitive. Marlene said it with such earnest curiosity and sympathy that you turned to face her instead. You were met with her and Lily, your very best friends who you were feeling especially lucky to work with at that moment.

"No!" You told them the full story, about getting sick at the club, James just being polite and walking you home, and Peter Pettigrew's terrible betrayal. Both women listened attentively, taking it all in.

"I thought you hated Potter," Lily said finally, "How'd it get that far in the first place? Usually you'd have ditched him in the first five minutes of being in his presence."

"I don't hate him." You studied your hands intently, observing the peeling red nail polish you should have reapplied yesterday. "I think he's annoying and obnoxious and I've always hated that he's never believed I could be a serious writer, but I don't hate him. He has his moments. Besides, why would I waste energy on hating Potter when I could hate Pettigrew with all my heart?"

"What a snake," Marlene spat, lighting a cigarette as she got comfy next to you. You and Lily both nodded. Peter was not only now a backstabber, but he'd been becoming increasingly insufferable over the years you'd all been writing.

He started out quite nice and was in your periphery of friends in the same way Remus and even James were, but as he'd gotten the job at his shitty tabloid magazine he'd become downright intolerable, always twisting what you'd said both in official articles and when gossiping with other friends. You had all had enough a few years ago and stopped inviting him places. Clearly, he'd held onto the grudge.

At his own work, James was facing the same rumours, though not nearly to the same peril. As he rocked up to his home pitch for the morning training session he was received with catcalls and high fives which made him nervous. No one was ever that happy to be working out on a Monday morning.

"Thought you hated her, mate."

"Maybe all she needed was a good shag to get the stick out of her arse."

"Woah! Can we take it back a few steps and not talk about women that way?" James sent a look over to one of his teammates.

"Sorry bud," He held his hands up in surrender, "Thought you wouldn't mind since you're always moaning about her." James' eyebrows knit together as he tried to piece together what the men were talking about, finally giving up and asking for a plain explanation.

He was met with a copy of Peter's article, outlining the flirty touches and 'electric chemistry' the two of you shared. Scanning it quickly James felt his face screwing up in disgust. Never mind that it obviously wasn't true, what a disgusting violation of privacy. He'd only recently launched into the spotlight, working his way up into the Premier League and then team captain in the last few years. He still didn't know how to handle the fame, especially invasive press like this.

His first priority was setting the ruth straight for his team, explaining exactly what happened and outlining strict instructions not to bring it up the next time they saw you.

"This is going to be a lot worse for her than me," He said, ending the conversation there.

He was correct. Rumours only spiralled from Peter's article. You'd stupidly created Google Alerts for your name; as a journalist, it made sense to keep track of where your writing was being shared. One day of this nonsense and you had all alerts silenced, not wanting to ever visit the internet ever again.

Apparently, this alleged affair was the most interesting thing young British people had ever experienced. The football star and the sports journalist. As you packed up to leave at the end of the day you were feeling sick to your stomach, already overwhelmed by the attention you never wanted on you.

Your face blanched as you approached the dizzying glass windows, a mass of reporters swarming the door. You didn't have to think hard to know they were waiting for you. You retreated to the restroom where they couldn't see you to rearrange your exit appearance. Pulling your coat tight against you and scarf up to cover the bottom half of your face, you plugged your iPod nano in to appear busy (and touched up your eye makeup for the inevitable photos that would make it back into the news cycle).

Physically and emotionally prepared you braved the crowd again, moving through with a polite but firm shove, making yourself a path down to the tube. You only snapped at one particularly rude paparazzi, giving him an instruction of where to 'stick it' as you hopped down the stairs to your station.

You ate a haphazard dinner by your computer, obsessively clicking through the various articles (and now personal blog posts) that had mentioned you. Every link made you feel worse about yourself.

The articles themselves were bad, most of them degrading you and congratulating James. Some had even produced old school photos of the both of you, even a few from your uni days when James was just starting out professionally and you were attending similar parties.

The articles were one thing, at least they usually had to be somewhat impartial. The blog posts by James' fangirls were downright cruel, calling you a slag based on a singular photograph and dragging your name through the mud.

You were drawn from your doom-scrolling by your cellphone ringing, Britney ringtone at least drawing a smile from you.

"Hello?"

"Get off the internet," Sirius Black said from the other end of the line.

"How'd you know?" You exited the webpage dutifully, already feeling the weight of the world's ugly words lifting from your shoulders.

"I figured. First time being written about isn't easy."

"It's certainly making me grateful I've never been so bitchy in my articles," You produced a hollow laugh, "I don't know how people can say these things about someone they've never met."

"That's why we like you," He said, "Mostly, at least. You stick to the sport and not our personal lives."

"Don't inflate my ego, Black, it's just because I don't like you guys," You joked, your mood already blooming back to somewhat more chipper.

"That's what I've been telling him!" You heard Remus call from further away, probably the other side of their living room. Sirius made an offended noise.

"Is Potter there?" You changed the topic, swirling your mouse around the window aimlessly, too afraid to check your work or personal notifications.

"He's out right now, calling someone official -- a publicist or lawyer friend. He's tearing his hair out about this, he feels awful for you." Both men explained, bickering about who exactly he was talking to.

"Yeah, I'm noticing only one of us is getting called a slut." You rolled your eyes even though they couldn't see you, balancing your cell between your shoulder and ear as you made a cup of tea. Sirius' barking laughter crackled through the speaker.

"Don't worry about it, love, everyone knows The Daily Mail is full of shite. Besides, I got that all the time."

"Yeah, in school! Not when you have a grown-up job to save face at!" Sirius conceded, apologising lightly. You shrugged him off; he was not the target of your anger at all.

"James'll be back soon, do you want to stay on the phone?" Remus asked and you answered without hesitation.

"No. I don't want to talk to him right now. We'll just find something to fight about, it's not worth it."

"He wants to make things better," Sirius offered, "He feels terrible."

"Maybe when I'm not so angry at the world." You left them with the offered compromise, hanging up to pity yourself for a few more hours before bed.

You didn't end up being fired over the incident, your bosses couldn't find a good reason to cite, but everyone in the office knew you were on thin ice. Most weren't afraid to highlight that fact. You were really starting to hate the Politics guys.

You just tried to keep your head down, diving into your articles and trying to keep in the higher-ups good graces. Amidst the drama though you'd been taken off all football coverage for the time being, banished to the irrelevant 'sports' you never even knew existed.

The week had taken you out of London to cover bizarre rural events like cheese rolling and bog snorkelling; not uninteresting but a big change of pace to the Premier League drama you were used to.

It did take your mind off of James and the media shitstorm for a day or two though. Being in a small town was much preferable to London, at least for the moment. The paparazzi weren't going to make the drive to find you for a single day when there were plenty more interesting figures to find in the city.

Plus, you were meeting the most interesting people. Though it was no Premier League final, everyone around was so wholly invested and excited by the competition that you couldn't help feeling the same, despite your initial hesitation.

Throughout the day it was just you, your notepad, your camera and the few thousand people who came to participate and observe. You'd already met and interviewed the woman who made the cheese, the previous year's winner and you were waiting impatiently to see who'd prevail now.

The paper was paying for you to stay overnight so you could chronicle the post-event celebrations, and you'd never been so glad to be working late. The key players in the day, organisers and competitors had all convened in the town's old pub, basically heaving under the weight of you all.

You held up your beer with the others despite hating the taste, grateful to be included in their toast to the day. You laughed as you tried to down it quickly, wanting the taste out of your mouth as soon as possible without refusing such a kind gift. Holding the pint up in the air victoriously you accepted the cheers of those around you, including the lovely middle-aged lady who made the ceremonial cheese and the man only a year or two older than you who'd won earlier.

"Finally letting your hair down!" He laughed and you smiled back, trying to remember his name. A glance down at your notepad said Drew. "Can I get you another?" You hoped he didn't notice your eyes widen, not expecting attention like that, not when you were allegedly working no less. You opened your mouth to agree when someone else answered for you.

"She doesn't like beer, thinks it tastes like piss." You whipped your neck around at the familiar voice, mouth dropping open at the sight of James Potter.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked, jovial politeness abandoned.

"You didn't remember that my family comes to watch every year?"

"Respectfully, why the fuck would I remember something like that?" You snapped, moving to leave and follow the much nicer Drew to the bar. James grabbed your hand lightly, stopping you from leaving.

"Wait, can we talk please?" You just looked at him for a long time, considering how much patience you had after a full day of work, then shrugged half-heartedly.

He led you outside and away from the crowd, both of you letting out a huff as you noticed the change in temperature.

"I liked your story on the bog snorkelling -- interesting stuff," James broke the awkward silence and you rolled your eyes aggressively.

"As if you read my pieces."

"I do!" He insisted, silently refusing the cigarette you offered. "I've read all your pieces, honest."

"But... huh? You're the one who always said I'd be a shit writer, I've spent years trying to get the negative internal James out of my head! You absolute dickhead!" You shoved his chest, turning back towards the door to return inside.

"Are you thick? I only said that because I fancied you!"

James' words rang heavy in the air, the street otherwise silent. You stared straight ahead of you for a moment, his words settling on top of you as you focused on the orange street lamp.

This whole time, this whole time, you'd been fighting the image you believed James had of you, striving to be better, never being satisfied, for nothing. This whole time you and James had been bickering and trading insults for nothing? And all his flirting... James' annoying charm and ironic compliments and innuendo-filled teasing were all genuine, after all this time? Suddenly your whole world had turned on its axis.

"What do you mean you said it because you fancied me? That is not normal!" You whirled around, accusatory finger pointed his way.

"I don't know! I thought I was supposed to! It wasn't cool to be a sap!" James argued back, running a hand through his already tousled curls.

"Jesus Christ," You muttered, "So what, you thought all my arguing back was just flirting?" James' silence told you all you needed to know.

"Come on, don't act like you didn't like it a little bit! As I recall you were always up for the fight, weren't you? You never avoided me or ignored me. Let's face it, you enjoyed it as much as I did." He stepped closer to you, breath visible in the cool air.

"I didn't enjoy it, what the hell are you talking about? Why would I enjoy trading schoolyard insults with some arrogant, idiotic football player who discredited the one thing I wanted most in my life?" Suddenly you were inches apart, heat emanating from both of you as you fought.

"Like you never said I was stupid for wanting to be a footballer? Face it, love, you're just as bad as me."

And suddenly, despite all your better judgement and every bit of sense in your head, you were kissing him. You didn't know exactly how it had happened, and if anyone were to ever ask you you would absolutely pin the blame on James but there you were, out in the middle of the street without a care in the world.

Every one of your senses was on fire, the smell of his cologne, the taste of his lips, the feeling of his soft curls under your fingers. Everything about James felt like he was made for you, like all the years of you revolving around each other, playing off the other's insult was just a lead-up, preparation for the very moment you kissed for the first time.

James' arms around you were warm, strong from years of working out and protective like a weighted blanket. One hand wrapped around your midsection and the other firmly on your neck you felt wholly surrounded by him, isolated in your own bubble of James.

It was probably a bad idea, but you weren't overly concerned with addressing that fact in any rush. It didn't come as you tilted your head to bring him even closer, it didn't come as you said hurried goodbyes in the pub and collected your coat, it didn't even come as you closed the door to your hotel room, undoing the buttons to James' shirt like they had a personal vendetta against you.

The admittance only came as you lay entangled with him, faces millimetres apart.

"Was that a bad idea?" You asked, genuine self-consciousness mixing with pragmatic anxiety.

"I mean, I quite enjoyed myself, love. Did you not?" James' cheeky smile made you snort out a giggle but you sobered up quickly, hitting him lightly on his toned chest.

"Don't turn this into a joke!" You ordered, "Have we just fucked everything up?" James just looked at you for a minute, taking in the sincerity in your voice and the depth of your eyes.

"Of course we haven't," He assured you. "Do you like me?"

"But--"

"Ah! Do you like me?" He reiterated and you paused, nodding shyly. "See? You like me and I like you. We'll figure everything else out. Start slow; baby steps."

"Baby steps," You agreed, sharing his smile. It really only hit you how much you actually liked James once you'd said it, finally noticing how he might've been looking at you the whole time.

You sent James off early in the morning, both of you needing to make it back to London quickly. You had to get your article written up and James had training. Thankfully there was no awkwardness in your goodbye; James had to rush to meet his parents to drive back by car and you had a train to catch. The only moment of hesitance came as you said goodbye, waving at each other with a giggle as James hopped down the steps. He hesitated halfway, turning to look at you with the glint of mischief in his eye that you'd become very well acquainted with.

In a moment he was at the top of the steps again, swooping in to steal another kiss. You rolled your eyes to hide an embarrassing smile, pushing him back in the direction he came.

"Haven't you got somewhere to be?" You asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. James mimed twisting a knife in his chest but continued down the stairs nonetheless, giving you one last smile before he turned a corner and disappeared from your sight. You sighed like a schoolgirl then laughed at yourself, packing the last of your things to get home.

As you sat on the train, green landscapes passed you through the window and you felt your cell phone buzz from the minuscule pocket of your work trousers.

thinking of u :P <3

You grinned, looking out at the scenery so the people around you wouldn't be able to figure out your embarrassing secret. You felt like a teenage girl again, blushing over a text from the guy you had a crush on.

Everything turned to shit in a matter of hours after returning to London.

First, James' publicist made his statement. It wasn't necessarily terrible, but it really had no regard for you. No statement declaring you both on good terms, no coming to your defence or asking for the press to respect you. James looked like the hero saving a stupid drunk girl, and you still looked desperate for the most popular footballer in the country. You were decently sure it wasn't James' fault, but it did significantly dampen your lovesick giddiness.

The office was half-empty when you arrived, kitten heels clicking against the ground. You said a quick hello to Lily, still dutifully typing away at her computer. You followed her lead, exporting your notes to your desktop computer, formatting the piece and going through edits to have it ready for the next paper.

The sun was setting, sending orange and pink streaks through the sky when the door to your boss' office slammed open, echoing above the cubicles.

"You kissed him?" He yelled and you paled, knowing exactly what he was talking about but not how he knew. That problem was solved when he slammed the magazine down in front of you, no doubt just delivered by the skittery young receptionist running back to the elevator.

FACT OR FICTION? POTTER AND REPORTER CAUGHT SNOGGING AMIDST PUBLIC DENIAL

Fuck. That could not be worse.

The whole piece was essentially dragging your name through the absolute mud now that they had the confirmation there was something going on between you and James. The whole world thought you were sleeping to the top, or for the best scoop, and everyone hated you for it.

You looked up at your boss, words dying on your tongue.

"Please tell me that's not you," He said, grasping at the thinning hair on his head. You couldn't deny it.

"I..." You trailed off, searching for anything you could say to make it better. "I didn't mean to. And I'm being completely honest when I say that the first article was all bullshit. Things have... happened since then." You were already on the verge of tears. Even on an optimistic day, you couldn't have denied that this was utterly shit.

"Jesus." Your boss muttered, beginning to pace. "Look, I like you, you know? You do good work and you're never outta line, but I reckon the higher-ups are gonna be done with you. They wanted you out over the first article but I convinced them it was all speculation. This is proof and makes us all look bad that you're sleeping with someone you interview every other bloody week. Look, I'll do what I can in damage control, but I'd be bringing your stuff home tonight. I'm sorry."

How could he have just left you with that absolute bombshell? Effectively firing you, just like that? The tears had made their way up to your waterline, sitting there mocking you as you refused to let them fall. You submitted your piece and shut off your laptop, angrily stuffing your sparse personal decorations into your shoulder bag to get the fuck out of the building as fast as possible.

The paparazzi were waiting again, of course, like that was what you really needed. You pushed past them, making sure to land an extra hard stomp on Peter's foot, lips twitching into the beginnings of a smile as you heard him curse.

You sat on the tube, staring intently at your feet and trying desperately to think of anything but your current situation. You'd already been approached by someone who'd coughed out "Skank," which really hadn't done anything for your sour mood. All you wanted was to crawl into your bed and never emerge.

You wandered down the street between the metro station and your flat, hands shoved deep in your coat pockets.

"Hey!" Someone called and you glanced over on instinct, senses drawn by the interruption of an otherwise quiet evening. "You're the girl who kissed James Potter, yeah?" It was a girl still in her school uniform, probably sixteen or seventeen. You thought through your options quickly and shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Wicked. How was it?" She asked, chewing on pink gum. There was an aura about her that you liked, not judgemental like everyone else you'd met. If you were still in school you thought you might've been friends with her.

"Pretty good, I'd do it again." A cheeky almost-joke between the two of you, ironic given the shit that it had caused for you.

"We were talking about it at school. Pretty shit how they've treated you. Like they all wouldn't jump at a chance to get close to 'im." You liked the way that she didn't get any closer. Just the two of you standing face to face, divided by the empty road.

"Exactly what I've been saying," You agreed, tucking your hair behind your ears.

"If it was the other way around, if you were the famous one, James would be getting congratulated for getting with you, not ridiculed by the mindless gossip columns. All my friends think it's utter bullshit, stopped buyin' 'em and everything." You could have kissed her if that wasn't tremendously creepy. In five minutes, this schoolgirl had vindicated everything you'd been saying for the past week in a way no one else had.

"Thank you," You said, with more sincerity than you probably should have had for a complete stranger. The girl just shrugged with a smile, nodding before continuing down the street, the sound of her leather school shoes growing quieter with every step.

You felt it in your whole body every time you thought of the interaction for the next few hours, warmth spreading through your chest as you were reminded there were still good people around.

Your other reminder of that fact came with the sound of your buzzer, the laughing of Lily and Marlene echoing off the stone of your building. As you let them in curiously they presented armfuls of takeout, the smell of Chinese food immediately floating through your flat.

Lily took the responsibility of setting out the food while Marlene took control of your little television, flipping between channels until she found a suitable romcom starting.

You didn't speak about what had happened, no one mentioned James Potter or the bloody Sunday People. Yet, there was an air of tenderness that let you know the girls knew exactly what was happening and how you were feeling about it.

Still, there was something bothering you. You couldn't give it a name immediately, only a tugging in your stomach while the girls were entertaining you, but persistent nonetheless.

It wasn't until you were all crammed into your bed, the other two peacefully asleep, that you could identify the sensation. It was an overwhelming desire, a need to write that you hadn't felt in ages. It was the same feeling that had pushed you to be a journalist in the first place, an inspiration you typically only felt watching a magical soccer final.

You crept out of your bedroom, switching on your computer at the kitchen table, squinting at the aggressive blue light. And when a blank Word document appeared before you, you started writing. Obsessively, feverishly, words poured out of you at a rate that hadn't happened since you'd started at Sunday People.

The words of the school girl fresh in your mind, you started an article vastly different from your usual kind. Instead of strategies and highlights you dissected your own experience of the past week, saying everything you hadn't let yourself unload to the paparazzi outside your office (though with fewer curse words than they would have received). It could have been minutes or hours that you were writing and you wouldn't have noticed, eyes glued on the screen in front of you.

You didn't realise you'd fallen asleep until Lily woke you gently with a hand on your shoulder, offering a steaming mug of tea. It was light outside, the world already up and awake. You were glad it was a weekend as the girls didn't need to rush off to work, cooking a simple breakfast for you all to share.

"What've you written?" Marlene asked, the second part of her sentence unnecessary: since you don't have a job to write for. You shrugged, taking a bite of some eggs.

"Just something I had to get off my chest. Might see if I can sell it to someone to tide me over 'til I figure out what I'm doing with my life."

"Can we read?" You made a 'go ahead' gesture, the computer already open to the screen.

A WOMAN'S UNWILLING WEEK IN THE PUBLIC EYE:

How a woman always loses.

You sat in mild discomfort as Lily and Marlene read your piece in silence, anxiously awaiting their reactions. They weren't what you were expecting.

When they turned back to face you, Lily had tears in her eyes, red tones brought out in her skin. Even Marlene looked uncharacteristically moved, not at all the reaction you were expecting. Firstly, it was completely unedited so you suspected it was somewhat of a mess from your midnight haze. Secondly, it was more of a vent than anything, getting your hatred for invasive paparazzi off your chest. You thought you'd all laugh about it then move on with your days.

"Lils, what's wrong?" You didn't mean to laugh, it was more out of surprise than anything else.

"It's just, it's so raw and real. It's so unfair," She sniffled, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater.

"Jesus, you don't have to cry," You said lightly, "I'm fine! I hated that bloody place anyway."

"That's not the point," Marlene pointed out, "And Lily's right, this is really confronting stuff. It's great."

"Thanks," You mumbled, studying a lamp for something to do.

"Can we talk about James?" Your head snapped back to look at her.

"What about him?"

"Clearly there's been some... developments in your relationship, which we don't have to talk about--"

"Yet," Marlene interrupted.

"The point is that it looks like there's feelings involved now. What are you doing about them? Because if you publish that, it's putting everything out there, and even I can't tell how you feel about James right now," Lily finished.

"I don't want to talk to him," You said quickly, "I know it's not his fault but I can't think about him without getting mad. It's like I wrote; he ends up fine while I lose my job over one kiss."

"Understandable," Marlene nodded, "But if I know James at all, he'll be going crazy every minute that you ignore him."

You had much to consider when the girls left. The state of your career, your feelings for James, everything felt too big and overwhelming to make any decisions about. So, you took a nap.

The rest of your weekend was spent sending your then-edited article to as many newspapers and blogs as you could and hiding out in your flat, dodging James' calls.

Unfortunately, you liked him. You'd figured out that much. More unfortunately, he hadn't done anything to help you out in all this mess, benefiting from the press in a way that only England's favourite footballer could.

On Monday morning your piece was published. Not the biggest or most reputable newspaper, if your name hadn't still been trending it probably would have gone largely noticed. Instead, it blew up.

It had mixed reviews, of course, a tell-all so blatantly feminist would always attract its haters, but you were floored by the support it was receiving. Women were validating your experiences in a way you hadn't expected even a few days ago. It made you not so scared to leave the house anymore.

On Tuesday morning, Remus called you. You had the thought that it might have been James calling to grovel on Remus' phone, but you thought it was a smart enough idea you'd indulge anyway. If it was Sirius you wouldn't have picked up.

Instead, it was actually Remus.

"Come to the media room this afternoon," He said, evidently not wasting time with pleasantries.

"What?" You asked, caught off-guard.

"Just do it. Two o'clock."

"Remus, you know I don't have a job anymore, right?"

"Come off it, you know anyone on the team would let you in. You've got quite a name for yourself," He chanced a joke and you rolled your eyes.

"What, whore?" You retorted, only a little worried it would be true.

"I'm hanging up," Was all he said before the line went dead. You huffed, snapping your phone closed with all the attitude of a spoiled private schoolgirl.

Yet, at two o'clock you were standing in front of the media room at James' team's stadium, questioning all of your life choices.

The room seemingly went silent when you entered, dozens of pairs of eyes staring you down as you nervously stuck to the wall. You felt the derogatory, leering stares from all the sleazy men who'd been accusing you of sleeping with players since you first started in the field. It made you want to drop dead.

James made his way to the lectern up the front of the room with a cough, quieting down the chaos.

"Afternoon, everyone. I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you here, I've got some things I'd like to address.

"As you all well know, I've been a frequent face in the papers lately, and not for my brilliant playing as it usually is. I recently got followed down a street after a night out looking after an old friend who happened to be a colleague of yours. Now I know that my godly good looks lead you to believe that I don't feel the same as all of you, but I do. And I'd like you all to consider how you'd feel if a man with a camera followed you all the way home after you'd been out for a night with your friends and a few cheeky drinks. It's pretty invasive if you can't imagine.

"Now, all this press hasn't really affected me. However, my dear friend has been subject to misogynistic articles, slut-shaming and harassment all because we were seen out together and a few hateful words from someone I used to consider a mate." You had no idea where this was going, but you were absolutely fascinated. James was more well-spoken, more mature and solemn than you'd ever seen him, though he still had his audience in the palm of his hand with his casual jokes. It was a masterclass in public speaking.

"If you haven't read any of my friend's pieces I would highly recommend them; she's got a brilliant voice and I personally read everything she publishes. However, I'm not here to talk about her work; I'd actually like to talk about her if you all don't mind."

What the hell was happening?

"In the midst of all these articles over the last week, I know you've all seen various pictures of us, including from secondary school. A few come to my mind, our graduation picture is a highlight, but I'd really like to talk about this one." James brandished a printed-out photo you recognised instantly.

"This photo was taken when we were twelve or thirteen years old at someone's party. That night, as you tend to do when you're young and bored, we played spin the bottle and ended up being each other's first kiss. I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm telling this story now, and it's because ever since that night as I have recently realised, almost a decade later, I have been embarrassingly, stupidly in love with her."

Your life wasn't real, it absolutely could not be.

"And though I've done some incredibly dumb things over the years, somehow she's managed to like me back -- at least a little. So I'm setting the record straight right now, she is not 'sleeping to the top' or trying to get a secret scoop out of me because I'm the one who's been chasing after her for twelve years.

"I know I've been rambling on for far too long so I'll wrap it up here, but I just wanted to end this little conference with a warning that if I see any more disgusting, hateful articles about her, you won't be getting another comment from me again. So nice to see you all!"

The room started to trickle out but you were stuck to your spot against the wall, frozen in absolute shock. You hardly even noticed the dirty looks you got from some of the people you'd been working alongside for years.

You spotted James in another corner, drinking out of a plastic water bottle and messing with his hair. A nervous tell.

The room was almost completely empty when you approached him, heels muffled by the carpeted floor.

"Hey stranger," You said softly, feeling way out of your depth. He turned in an instant, smile lighting up his face then melting away as it was replaced with an insecure frown.

"Was that okay? I didn't want to embarrass you but I wanted to step up and do something and protect you and--"

"Have you really loved me since we were twelve?" You cut him off bluntly.

"Every day since, as I've figured out," He agreed with a slight nod, glasses slipping down his nose slightly.

"What about all the flirting with Lily? The other girls over the years?"

"So obviously fake. Distractions. It's never been anyone but you, love."

You could only stare at him for a moment, your whole world shifting beneath your feet. James' face became increasingly worried, brow furrowing more the longer you remained unresponsive.

"If you don't feel the same that's totally alright, I still stand by what I did and I don't want you being harassed for--"

You'd always thought that cutting someone off with a kiss was ridiculously cheesy, reserved for shitty Hallmark movies with grown-up child actors who never got their big break. Turns out though, when you realise that your girlish crush on the star footballer has actually been a complicated love of twelve years, you don't really want to waste any more time.

When you woke up on Wednesday morning with James next to you, body heat keeping you cozy, you were convinced you had to be dreaming. When you eventually got up to check your emails and start your day the hypothesis was only solidified by the impossible email waiting in your inbox.

The fucking BBC wanted to hire you as a football commentator and sports writer. Your dream job at your dream company. If you let out an embarrassing squeal then that was none of your business.

You were still convinced you were hallucinating the whole thing until James came in with his biggest smile and that look in his eyes that told you he probably had a hand in getting your name on the BBC desks.

Even a few weeks ago you would have been mad at him, assuming it was mocking or he had ulterior motives. But it wasn't a few weeks ago anymore, and James Potter's whole, endless heart belonged to you. You weren't letting that go anytime soon.

[canidbld]

Dear Wolf Therians...

(Aka, a domestic dog rambles about packs)

Content warnings: none

Word count: 2k

— Day 3 of Sol's Writing Challange

I want to start off this post by saying that I'm pretty confident I'm not a wolf therian. During my awakening, I automatically assumed a potential wolf theriotype (which seems to not be an uncommon experience) I actually tried to think and picture myself as a wolf, just to try out the identity but there was something that didn't feel right and it was sort of difficult to understand why. Maybe it was the large size of a wolf not matching with how I felt my canineness should look like, or maybe it was more of a personality/mental thing.

Either way, I kept trying to work it out in my brain and read the works and experiences of wolf therians. When wolf therians spoke about being a wolf, there was a lot of mention of feeling wild and untamed with an instinctual yearning to be free. They spoke commonly about how disconnected they felt from humans and that they were actually pretty wary of them and felt uncomfortable in humam focused environments, and that's when it clicked and why I was not a full wolf because I felt pretty comfortable with humans and I didn't feel this inner call for the wilds. I was actually pretty chill hanging out and around man-made settlements and cities (which were a wolf therians' worst nightmare, according to a few essays). Basically, I felt pretty domestic.

So then I just assumed I might have been a wolfdog. I went from thinking I could have been a high content wolfdog to a mid content to a low content, but even then, that didn't feel right. I read an article that discussed the differences in wolves and stray dogs that actually really illuminated my perspective on canines as a whole. Wolves were monogamous, primarily carnivorous, and apex predators and functioned under a family hierarchy. The stray dogs in the article were scavengers, eating what they could find on the outskirts of human settlements and didn't have to abide by strict seasons to have pups nor did they feel the need to form packs unless they thought it was necessary. All in all, dogs had a lot more variety in expression and were more loose on the "rules" of being a canine compared to wolves.

Eventually I just realized and came to terms that I was just a domestic German Shepherd (and a proud one at that!) with an emotional and aesthetic attachment to wolves that had no impact on my identity and how I identified no matter how cool I thought wolves and wolf therians were.

So, yeah, I'm pretty confident that I'm not a wolf therian.

But I loved reading about the experiences of wolf therians and what being a wolf meant to them and how they expressed that but I was mostly invested in how their wolfness interacted within themselves and other aspects of themselves. What was the culture of wolf therians? How did they describe wolfhood? What facets of themselves did they relate with other wolf therians?

The writings of wolf therians helped me create a foundation of how I understood caninehood so I could build up my own understanding using their experiences as a framework.

But one of the things I really was interested in is how a wolf therian felt about packs.

A wolf therian I follow (@words-of-wolf) wrote a piece about their experience with wolfhood (and how they felt it was different to the way other wolf therians talked about their wolfness), and it actually inspired this whole tangent about packs in general. One of my favorite quotes from the post was:

"But I will say that all of my deepest, most vivid, and most impactful memories... they're not of the hunt. They're not about territory or conflict or hunger. What I remember most richly is the love I felt for my pack. It's a feeling I can't quite find it in me to explain; sometimes I wonder if the reason I identify as loveless in this life, is simply because no love I've ever felt as a human could compare to what I felt as a wolf."

The feeling I got reading this was profund and sobering. I didn't relate to it on a deep level, but I was enamored by how they described what being in a pack really felt like and how the pack is what defined their wolfness and not so much being perceived or perceiving specific behaviors as violent.

I watched a documentary about a therian pack just recently actually and it carried a similar level of awe within me when I watched how close these therians were with others. They cuddled and played together, exhibited both dominant and submissive behaviors in a playful manner and had sleepovers and bonded with each other over a bonfire and it was nice to watch the way they loved being a pack together.

Wolves in the wild need packs. It's something that is so important to their survival and evolution and identity as a whole. They are social animals. The bond between wolves in a wolf pack is so solid and intertwinied with being a wolf that its pretty much what defines a wolf in pop media (for the most part) The wolf pack structure and culture also has been studied intensely for years. It's been observed and analyzed, hypothesized, and debunked.

What was thought to be the truth of how a wolf pack worked was actually revealed to be an inaccurate representation by the same man who created the now debunked alpha/beta/omega theory since the old study was done on captive wolves. Said man, named David Mech, corrected himself and said that wolf packs in the wild functioned very much as family units, with the father and mother at the head of the pack and then their first litter as their subordinates and their latest litter as the bottom of the pack. Makes sense. That's how families work mostly in human society.

But then what does this study say about wolf therians (and therians in general) and the way they feel about packs?

When reading about their experiences, some share this sentiment of feeling utterly alone. This loneliness was, for the most part, super intense, almost depressing sometimes when I read certain posts. Especially when the wolf therians I was reading about didn't seem to know any other therian in general, let alone a wolf one plus they had an almost instinctual aversion to humans. It was something I sympathized with. These were essays that read like lonely howls calling for non-existent pack mates in my head.

But those were specifically wolf therians who didn't have a pack, I did also read posts and essays of wolf therians who were and have been in packs (in their current lives) before, relaying their experiences that ranged from enjoyment and curiosity to horror and abuse mostly, from what I've read, due to these packs adopting the alpha/beta/omega model and trying to mimic this with other therians. Now there has been tons of discussion on how the alpha/omega model in packs leads often to power abuse and there has been valid criticism against the use of it in therian packs but there's also been equal amounts of therians who actually like the alpha system implemented in their own packs due to the euphoria it gives them as a wolf.

Keep in mind, the study that first introduced the alpha theory about wolf packs, while inaccurate to wolves in the wild, was still something captive wolves (essentially strangers) exhibited and I think that's important to note. I remember reading (or maybe watched a video) that mentioned how human society naturally has a hierarchical structure bringing up examples like work environments (bosses, managers, employers) and even schools (teachers, principals, students) and so packs that use the alpha model weren't necessarily a bad thing and actually made sense under these contexts.

I think the problem was because some of these therian packs were created haphazardly and were open to therians who were mostly strangers to each other and the alpha model didn't really give the neccesery room for these packs to bond with each other that much, something that had also been pointed out by other therians. Their solution was to be more picky on who you make a pack with. They said that packs should ideally be created with close friends and loved ones or even family.

It was interesting to read the different pack experiences, especially from a domestic dog point of view. Just as a canine, I also do sympathize with pack culture in general and while some domestic dogs don't really have a connection to the pack concept as much as wolves (save for specific breeds like the husky), I still think a lot about packs and how I'd function in one when I realized that I have been apart of packs, that I am currently in two packs; one with my boyfriend and one with my blood family.

And I do actually see them as my packmates, especially my boyfriend. I feel a loyalty to him and my family, I feel the need to defend them, protect them, and support them, not from a human perspective but entirely as a canine. My family pack can be dysfunctional sometimes, but my dogged loyalty means I'll always be there to support them despite the dominance problems. And it's funny to think about how I was "technically" born into a family unit and then when I grew older, I dispersed and found a mate to make my own pack with just like wolves do in the wild.

Therian packs, I feel like, have been a staple in the therian community probably since the first howl (not fact checked) due to how much the community traditionally has had such a heavy canine/wolf lean and focus (which is something modern therianthropy is improving on by being more inclusive to a variety of species) but I wish there were more resources that talk about packs and pack safety and what others thought of them, what their dream pack is and if they would abide by a heirachy or if they'd go off vibes or if they wanted a big pack that was friendly or something smaller thats a little more exclusive. What type of beings would they want in the pack? What type of behaviors would they exhibit in a pack? What name would your pack have? Would you consider your family or friends as a pack even if they're not therians themselves?

I wish even more for resources and essays about packs that aren't just canine centered like herds and flocks. How would therians run one? Would they be a leader or something more passive?

I know that this sort of veers on the edges of roleplay just a little but it geniuenly is a fun mental exercise for me. I like thinking about these questions because it does make me feel like a canine.

For me, I'm already pretty much living with my ideal pack with my boyfriend, even if it's just the two of us (plus our cats), which is what I prefer. I like how small and exclusive it is, and there's not really problems with dominance, considering we feel both pretty equal in terms of power in our pack. There's no name yet. It's just pure vibes right now, but that's okay, i feel loved and protected in this pack, and I love and protect my pack back. I have so much time to consider what a pack means to me as a dog.

And while I may not feel this deep connection to pack culture the way a wolf therian would, I still hold a similar essence of loyalty and love towards those who I cherish as a canine.

My fascination with pack society and culture is probably something I got from my German Shepherd theriotype. The concept of loyalty, protection, love, and family definitely appeals to it. Regardless, I just love reading and learning about it from academic studies to introspective essays, really, just all kinds of records that talk about packs. It truly feels like I'm searching for a meaning here and even writing this entire post barely scrapes the surface of what I truly want to say about packs, mostly due to me getting tired and my lack of vocabulary and ability to explain things better.

Just think packs are cool and see wolf therians as cool older siblings.

Kind regards,

Sol, a German Shepherd.

@/words-of-wolfs post about wolfhood

The study of the differences between wolves and dogs

[hibiscusseaart]

random hc that struck me in my head while i was showering. uh it's kinda weird one i think but i keep thinking about more animalistic Hatakes and can't help myself

btw Itama lives AU i love my dude how can i leave him out

so little context: when i was little my mom did some prayer where she whispered it and then licked me from nose to forehead a few times. listen idk what was that but i remembered it i had some ideas

so what if Hatake momma did the same thing with Senju brothers? So imagine Hashirama and Itama understanding that it was some sort of Hatake ritual and kinda moving on. Weird but all rituals are kinda weird.

But Tobirama, our dear autistic Tobirama thought about it like some sort of forehead kisses before bed and never grew out of it. Maybe he was a little bit too attached to this form of touch bc it soothed his headaches from sensing and poor eyesight when he was little

Itama, who I hc also being autistic, but a little bit more interested in masking, was a little more aware that no one actually licked anyone as a form of love outside of sexy time. But never actually told Tobirama bc he thought he knew. Hashirama also never mentioned it.

Tobirama fucking grew up thinking that licking his loved ones is an okay thing to do and a form of ultimate love or smth. He doesn't do that himself, he usually accepts hugs or kisses or any other form of love from his brothers, but never initiates. And he's kinda hurt that no one of his brothers do this anymore (i think they play licked and bite each other when they were little quite a lot).

Anyway all my thoughts are going to Madatobi so, when they get together, Tobirama will try to lick Madara sometimes in place of kissing, bc sometimes he's so overwhelmed with feelings, that kissing isn't enough. Madara takes us as a joke and sexy play at first and it will hurt Tobirama a bit, but I think he's got used for this kinds of rejection for now.

But then Madara would notice that oh, Tobirama takes these little licks seriously. Tobirama is always weird and stiff about sex if it's happening bc Tobirama started being all weird and licked his face, again.

Madara slowly catches on, bc Tobirama never fucking talks about anything that bothers him, but Madara IS a genius too thank you very much. He learns that for Tobirama it's a big deal and he wants to receive these licks too. And not in a sexy way, like it's not enough for licking neck or other parts of his body, no it's supposed to be on his face, preferably the forehead (even tho Madara thinks it's gross, the cold saliva all over the face ESPECIALLY on forehead is disgusting actually, i remember getting so annoyed that my mom did that). But oh well what can you do with love.

So Madara tries to make Tobirama happy with licking him from time to time (even tho he has to go on his tippy toes to reach his forehead). Maybe even in public. They already have reputation of having a freaky relationships, how much worse can it go?

Eventually Tobirama learns that licking face is not actually normal from Izuna, who was freaked out big time when he saw this display for the first time.

Tobirama was miserable that he was the freak the whole time and was getting upset over nothing, Madara is angry bc Izuna upset Tobirama and Izuna is just fucking traumatised.

ok i'm ending my ramble here. it's kinda weird but i had to get it out of my chest

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

hello! i was wondering if you could do poly!plastic x reader where regina has a condition like anemia or is simply just sick and won't admit that she's sick or needs help till she eventually collapses. sorry if it's too specific and you absolutely don't have to do it if you fon't wanna! :)

The Date-

|| poly!plastics x nonbinary!reader

|| Warnings; mostly Regina's pov, mentions of throw up, Regina's sick and hiding it, Gretchen stands up to Regina (though briefly), Regina blacks out, brief swearing

|| Summary; when Regina wakes up, she finds she isn't feeling well. But holds out for the date later that evening.

Requests closed!

Started; November 13th

Finished; November 13th

+ Anon Request; hey can you do poly!plastics x reader where it's regina being sick or anemic (only her gfs know that) but would never admit if she's not feeling well because she has an image to "uphold." sorry if it's too specific! it's all gopd i you can't 😅

Author Note; i wrote her being sick, since that was easier for me to write 🫶

~~~

It wasn't often Regina George got sick. In fact, there was hardly ever a time where she was. Of course she's faked being sick a number of times, just like every other kid. But today she was not feeling great. Like, at all. Every time she took a step Regina felt like she would throw up. Or pass out. Or both.

But did she take the day off? No. Because there were things she genuinely wanted to do at school and after today. She wanted to see her girlfriends and partner. Plus, Regina was looking forward to their date tonight. She booked them reservations at a nice ass restaurant and it would suck to lose their spot. Considering the next wait was nearly two months. She wasn't about to wait forever again. So, Regina tried her hardest to look okay. She may have over done it a bit on the makeup, but Regina hardly cared right now.

Despite feeling sick, Regina still took the time to pick up all of you. You, Gretchen and Karen. None of you noticed the signs at first. Gretchen thought she maybe saw a grimace, or was it a scowl? Sometimes it was hard to tell with the blonde. She did try keeping an eye on her, though it didn't take long before Gretchen was distracted by Karen's lips.

Being at school was probably the worst part of it. She skipped a lot of her classes. Regina ended up spending most of her day in the bathroom, just in case she threw up. Because there was no way she would be listening to a teacher right now. No matter who told her to. She'd come out for lunch, hanging out with you and the girls. Trying to seem okay enough that no one would ask her any questions.

Regina managed to make it all the way until the end of the day. Where everything went wrong. Regina was walking next to you, on her other side was Gretchen and Karen. The four of you walking together. You held Regina's hand, rambling about whatever your latest interest was. And Regina tried to pay attention. She really, really did. But... everything went black.

She could vaguely hear the sounds of voices, though it was like she was separated by water. It was muffled, groggily. All around impossible to understand. When she finally came to, Regina was in the nurse's office at the school. Bucket at her couch side. You were next to her while Gretchen and Karen watched nervously. Hands and arms linked together. She groaned as she tried to sit up, but you put a hand to her chest. Keeping her down.

"No you don't," You murmured. Regina's eyes locked to yours and you could see the pain and nausea behind her eyes.

"What..?" Regina had started to ask what happened, but you answered before she could speak. Wanting her to save her strength. You gently brushed Regina's hair out of her face, hand cupping her cheek before you spoke.

"You passed out. Nurse said you looked feverish," You explained, Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes. Slowly letting herself sink into the couch a bit. Before her eyes widened.

"The date-" Regina said, once gain thinking about the reservations. You just smiled softly and shook your head. Looking to Gretchen.

"Absolutely not, those reservations aren't as important as your health." Gretchen put her foot down; which was rare for her to do. Especially to Regina. Though Gretchen's worry for her out weighed any fears.

"There were reservations?" Karen blinked, looking at Gretchen. She forgot all about it. Gretchen just sighed.

"Not for tonight." Her tone held a sense of firmness to it that sounded weird coming from Gretchen. Regina challenged her, knowing it usually didn't take much to sway the girl.

"Excuse me? We're going, I paid a shit tone for those spots. Besides, I'm literally fine. You're overreacting." Regina grumbled. Trying to keep hold of her image. She had to be fine.

You frowned at her, deciding to take over when you saw Gretchen tense up," we'll get a refund, baby. Go another time. But like Gretchen said, those reservations aren't as important as your health."

Regina did not look happy in the slightest. But she finally stopped fighting on it, mostly because she threw up in the trash can. And she was smart enough to know there would be no convincing after that.