#i just had a lot more thoughts in term of the nwt and why it would be so strict with its gender roles

[theduckeminence]

Let’s talk about The Water Tribe and Sexism.

From what I’ve seen in alot of posts, fans tend to point harsh fingers at how extremely sexist the Water Tribe is in terms of their culture and how their customs are divided into gender roles (at least for the NWT).

On a surface level, this is understandable as from an outside POV, when we see something involving strict and seemingly stereotypical gender roles, we immediately perceive this portrayal as sexist and even taking it as far as misogynistic. Though what we need to understand is that we need to take in the context of the situation/setting and what we are actually dealing with. What we need to do is to look from a different lenses.

For starters, the Water Tribe in general are inspired by indigenous and native groups—such as the Inuit. Though I am not indigenous/native myself, I can say is that, from what I learned, a lot native tribes and even other cultures tend to have customs and traditions that are separated into certain roles and jobs amongst one another. For example, in many Inuit tribes, jobs are often split between the men and women in order to get necessary things done to survive. This is typically normal traditional wise (though someone correct me if I’m wrong).

Now when applying these ideas to the Water Tribes, you can imagine that the Southern Water Tribe and possibly even the Northern Water Tribe following along with this similar system. Though some of you may be wondering—“How can the Northern Water Tribe be like that when they’re so extreme with their gender roles?”.

Well the answer is this: the fear of the colonial/imperial threat of the Fire Nation.

Picture this:

It’s the early years of the war and word has it that the war is quickly making its way to both the Water tribes. The Air Nomad Termination is still fresh in everyone’s minds and fear begins to arise within the nations—especially the water tribes. If whether by will or force, the cultural traditions and customs of the NWT could be threatened by the Fire Nation if they make their way up North. Not only are the well-beings of the tribal people a major worry, but the possibility of cultural extinction also stands on their minds. To prevent this from happening, the Chieftain and the Elders believe there is only one solution in order to protect their people from outside threat.

The Northern Water Tribe announces their isolation from the rest of the world.

Yet as the Northern Water Tribe closing their gates to any international interaction, the fear of cultural loss continues to reverberate within their icey walls. And if the Fire Nation are to ever knock on their gates unannounced, forcing their surrender, the next generations of the NWT would never remember their stories, their teachings, their traditional way of life—their culture as a whole.

This could not happen. They could not—and would not—let that happen. They need to be sure of it.

So, they had to do something about it. And they did.

Though it’s unspoken, gender roles begin to stiffen. They become more and more rigid over time.

Things from hunting to healing and other chores became more and more divided by gender—and less flexible and bending. Unspoken rules come into place as years go by. Men do the hunting and lead the households—taking most positions of leadership. Women do the healing, care for the children, and do the chores. The barrier of roles and duties between men and women of the Northern Water Tribe become stricter—separating.

So much so that it seems unheard of—almost unnatural—that men and women would go anywhere beyond the roles they knew they must fulfill.

It is of means of survival, after all.

Though, things didn’t have to be this way—and they don’t have to be. While these gender roles seem to be apart of traditional conformities, it is not, by law, forbidden for a water tribes-person to go against their own societal expectations—the status quo. Think Kanna and how she was expected to be betrothed and wedded, as well as how she was expected to remain as a housewife—feeling confined by her own tribes’ strict customs.

But that’s also not to say that it may or may be considered taboo in the eye of the most traditionalist folk within the tribe—maybe even considerably “insulting” and disrespectful to some (cough cough Pakku cough).

TDLR: So, in an attempt to preserve as much of their culture as possible from the posed threat of the Fire Nation’s imperial control (via isolation and sticking to cultural traditions), the Northern Water Tribe fortified their traditional customs to the point that it causes a divide between jobs of men and women—conforming them to these gender-based roles and preventing any more flexibility to go beyond the status quo without being deemed as disrespectful and possibly outcasted.

[seyaryminamoto]

When you posted the first chapter of Gladiator how far ahead were you in terms of planning the path the story would take? Are there any great changes from the original outline?

Uuuuuh... X'D

For me, planning stories isn't a linear journey. I DO write linearly as best as I'm able, because if I don't, I'm going to fuck up the continuity of my stories. I really am not good at just writing the big moments first and stuffing the rest of the content in later. All the power to the people who can do that, but the few times I've tried, I fucked up so badly that I always end up having to rewrite the scene I wrote beforehand anyway! So, yeah, I build up on things and try to have all cards on the table by the time I write the big stuff.

But planning? Oh boy, planning is WAY messier than that.

Let me see if I can illustrate this properly:

The core idea for Gladiator was suggested to me by a reader over at FF.net back in February 2013. One day, a month later, I gave the idea a little more thought than I had when he first offered it and my brain went into overdrive when I concocted these specific concepts that, at the time, were the very core of the story:

Azula and Sokka as partners with thicker sexual tension than anything I'd written in my life until then, in a will-they-won't-they situation that, of course, results in "THEY DID". In this setting, the war didn't end on time, meaning that a lot of things changed, including that Azula's got a blank slate in a lot of regards, so both her and Sokka need to be developed from scratch. Initially, I wasn't sure of where exactly I'd take the relationship aside from knowing that they'd obviously get together, but the specific concept of what I'd do with their relationship only arrived sometime later (as in, when I realized I was too addicted to this story and had too much to do with it to "cut to the chase", unlike what certain people wanted me to do). Also, of course, major potential to make them an epic battle couple, something I'd never gotten the chance to write them as until then, so big plus there!

Their biggest rival throughout the story would be Toph, banking on a very different portrayal than the fandom usually likes in Sokka and Toph's dynamics: she would be the big enemy inside the league that he struggles the most with defeating because, let's be real, it feels like no one could have ever imagined that Sokka could ever beat Toph in a fair, one-on-one battle until I outright wrote it in the final arc of Part 2 X'D Hence, I figured that giving him that HUGE initial goal to pursue (defeating Toph) would give us a solid story thread to follow for a long time.

Iroh as Toph's sponsor because of The Chase and their canon bond, with Toph basically being Iroh's biggest fan in the Gaang due to their bonding scene in that episode. I would then be expanding on a bond that, back in the day, was a fandom favorite and that, these days, seems to have gone completely under the radar because it feels like nobody even TALKS about it anymore. It's kinda taken for granted, I'd say?

Combustion Man as THE TOP DOG of the Ranking. The final hurdle both Sokka and Toph need to outdo to become the best gladiators in the league. Why are they trying to do that? In Toph's case, she loves fighting, this story basically gave her a chance to go wild in that sense and measure herself against all kinds of enemies. In Sokka's case? As proposed by that reader's initial pitch, he'd be forcefully taken from the Fire Nation and would want to go home: his deal with Azula solidified then as the reason why he wants to be #1. Once he wins and beats Combustion Man, Azula will consider their contract fulfilled and she will let him go back to the Water Tribe.

Zhao as Combustion Man's sponsor because I needed someone relevant to do it, it didn't feel right to just make an OC for a role so important, back in the day, and in this setting, Zhao wouldn't have died/vanished in the NWT so he was available for my needs -- all of which then led me into building a backstory where Azula held some manner of resentment towards Zhao that pushed her further in her need to find a gladiator and become the best sponsor in the league.

These five story elements were the first things that came to mind. As I liked the idea of Azula and Sokka having an immensely conflictive relationship at first, where they couldn't trust each other 100% but they LIKED each other way more than they wanted to, I switched the "Sokka gets captured by randos" from the original pitch to "AZULA captures Sokka", and that resulted in a LOT of extra chaos than what was part of the story's original concept :'D I'd dare say the main positive element about this was that the story felt more dynamic in the second chapter (when they meet for the first time) than it would have if Sokka had been caught by any other Fire Nation military officer. It even puts forward the deepest layer of rivalry in the story too: the one person in the Fire Nation settlement who could have outdone Sokka is Azula. If he had faced anyone else. he might have had chances of success... but not when he faced her.

This, then, means that Azula HERSELF is a big goal and hurdle Sokka has to overcome. Partly, their relationship would've granted Sokka the means through which he could achieve that goal, but the point is that, from very early on, I realized that I wanted the story to chronicle the gradual journey of how Sokka went from... uh, a hundred to infinity X'D because no, he wasn't a zero, he just wasn't THAT good just yet. I wanted this journey to become a full exploration of Sokka's potential as a warrior until he was strong enough to go toe to toe with Azula and defeat her one day...!

... And once I realized that, one of the first core scenes of Gladiator came into shape. As in, the day Sokka finally defeated Azula.

Also known as chapter 96 :')

On the day Sokka beats her, EVERYTHING changes. This change is primarily fueled by the fact that he DOESN'T want to defeat her, at that point. He is so done with their frequent conflicts when the one thing he REALLY wants is... her. And Azula wants HIM. So when he impulsively kisses her instead of dealing a killer blow...! Yeah, uh... pfft. God, I had done so little plotting of their character arcs that I ACTUALLY thought, back then, that there'd be tension in terms of the readers thinking "omg, is he going to kill her?!" ... yeah, that was dead in the water so fast x'D I sincerely doubt ANYONE ever imagined that he'd do that when that scene came around, but you asked about how the plotting went in the initial stages of the story, pretty sure this specific hilarious tidbit illustrates that fairly well x'D anyway, Azula surrenders and the whole underlying theme of a war between them finally gets resolved in the best way it could! :'D

But... how would THAT particular fight sequence come about?

And that's where the lead-up to the scene started to take shape! Sokka has been trying to beat Toph, but he can't! She beats him when it FINALLY looks like he might win. When that happens, Sokka seems to be ready to give up on everything, and Azula lashes out at him because she won't let him quit on her just like that. BINGO!

... And that, dear asker, was the first genuine scene and arc plotting that I did for Gladiator.

After this? I thought Sokka would go on to fight Combustion Man after a final fight with Toph in which he finally beats her. This fight with Toph, back then, was bound to take place within maybe a few months of his last defeat at her hands, I thought, but with the power of getting laid, Sokka was totally going to kick ass this time and then go on to defeat the BIG DEAL, COMBUSTION MAN HIMSELF.

And then he'd kill him. Paying a bit of homage to canon :')

It slowly came together, however, that a fight against Combustion Man quite so soon after defeating Toph was probably not going to be... well, completely reasonable unless the situation REALLY called for it for... some reason. While I'm not entirely sure that I came up with this right away, it probably wasn't over a week after I started plotting the story that I figured that Iroh would vindictively tell Ozai about Azula and Sokka's relationship after witnessing what he shouldn't have witnessed when they celebrated their triumph over Toph a little more enthusiastically than would have been appropriate :'D Then, since Combustion Man would be serving, in a sense, as Ozai's executioner of bad gladiators for sponsors who need a lesson, he'd be the one tasked with killing Sokka only for Sokka to kill him right back (?)

At this point? There was no Xin Long. The idea of Sokka killing Combustion Man through a volatile bomb predates Xin Long! I boldly snuck in a reference to how Sokka would defeat Combustion Man as early as chapter 2 because I'm crazy and wanted to make it a useful callback in future chapters, unaware that "future chapters" meant ALMOST 250 CHAPTERS LATER! X'D Anyway, point is, I wanted Sokka to defeat Combustion Man through different means than in canon, seeing how in canon he had advantages he wouldn't have had in this story (this is a controlled environment, a one-on-one fight, there's no cover where Sokka can objectively hide, he wouldn't have the opportunity to just fuck up Combustion Man the exact same way, he's not going to fall to his death, for there's no abyss nearby...). So, I came up with the volatile bomb for that purpose, and that tells you that I spent around 7 years with the image of Combustion Man burning to his death living rent free in my head before finally writing it :'D

OKAY! So! What else did I come up with...?

I think Sokka and Azula's first kiss was relatively early plotting too. The idea of Sokka carelessly flirting with Suki in the ring came to mind, and Azula being Azula, she wasn't going to appreciate that at all, so she would have kissed him recklessly in a very inappropriate and territorial bid to stake a claim over him that she really shouldn't have... but Sokka would've thought it was hot and gone with it anyway (?)

Funny reveal time here: back in the day, I was determined to ensure that they wouldn't kiss again after that first kiss, not until they were ready to bang in chapter 96. Can you believe I thought I'd have the self-restraint to pull that off? x'D I laugh at my innocence in those regards to this day.

The second kiss I planned, probably MONTHS later, was actually the one on the way to the Slate. I wanted them to go out of control at one point and for them to be like "omg that was very inappropriate of us! How could we! But omg does that mean you like me tooooo?"

And isn't it HILARIOUS that my plotting was soooo naïve that I STILL didn't realize how far the early chapters would take them in their relationship? x'D

This, in a nutshell, is the exact reason why I CAN'T write out of order: if I'd written the Slate's trip situation as early as when I first thought about it? You can bet it would've made zero sense with all the character progression we saw through the rest of the story. And then I would have had to rewrite it anyway :')

Xin Long, I won't lie, was a bit of a whim on my part, no doubt motivated by my frustrations with canon and how Azula seemed to only get screwed over. So I said "she gets whatever the hell she wants in Gladiator because I hate the world" and once the idea of helping her find a dragon came to mind, I just rolled with it (?) It took me a while to actually integrate Xin Long with the Rough Rhinos arc, I wasn't sure about when I'd introduce him once the idea came to mind, but there was no better chance than to do so while Sokka and Azula were lost in the forest.

About other stuff, I liked the idea of Piandao training Sokka more extensively than in canon, but I didn't want him to be Sokka's host FOREVER because that meant less chances for Sokkla interactions. So... I had to get rid of him.

Believe it or not, I didn't sort out the in-world reasons to explain why I'd gotten rid of him until well around 3-4 years into plotting the story :')

Piandao's connection to Ursa felt natural after I really started thinking about it, but that took AGES to properly plot. Initially? I just needed him to go away. And in a sense, the excuse was that Iroh was on his way home, meaning, there was a Grand Lotus near the Fire Lord's court, way closer than Piandao ever was, so he didn't NEED to be there anymore.

... And that kind of led into Zuko.

While I was absolutely overtaken by the wild plotting involved in soooo many other aspects of the story, my good friend @jordanalane, no longer active on tumblr or the fandom, put up with my rambling about ALL THESE IDEAS and went "Yay! This story sounds fun! What's going on with Zuko here?"

Me, internally: "... Well shit I forgot about Zuko."

I won't say that she singlehandedly set up Zuko's journey in Gladiator, but saying that she gave me about 65% of the ideas for what I'd do with him would probably be fairly accurate, unless the percentage is larger than I thought. I actually toyed with the idea of setting up Zuko and Aang on a way bigger, political journey that we'd only occasionally glimpse while we focused on Sokka and Azula's partnership within the Fire Nation culture and all the gladiatorial chaos. Very early on, the plan seriously wasn't for Sokka to become... well, what he is now xD So I was genuinely going to leave all the heavy lifting of the war to Aang and Zuko because, ultimately, the Fire Nation has to be defeated and they're the ones who usually get up to that, right?

I think I've mentioned that, post Combustion Man's death, I had no idea wtf I was going to do. Like... I knew that was far away. I knew I'd have the time (or at least, I faithfully believed I would) to figure out what I'd do before we got to that point. I absolutely knew the story could not possibly end there.

So at this stage of plotting, I toyed with Blue Spirit Zuko joining the Gladiator League briefly as a destabilizer within the system (and then I started writing Zuko in the story and realized that... no. There was just no way this guy wanted anything to do with the Gladiator League as a fighter or even as a sponsor. Nope). Then, I thought he should go south (though I had no idea how I'd get him there!), where he'd find Aang eventually! There was a veeeery small window of time in which I considered keeping Aang at 12-years-old, which would've made Kataang waaaaay too unsettling since Katara would've been over 20, and I thought maybe Zuko and Katara could be a thing? But the idea never really solidified into anything I wanted to write between those two, it felt like an older Katara would've focused even more on protecting Aang (becoming the actual mother figure the fandom and even canon are obsessed with adultifying her into at 14) because she'd be too aware of how young and fragile he was...!

... But then? I thought it would've actually made sense for Aang to be more than just the little boy who saves the day and everyone protects:

Why not make him an opportunity for Katara to learn her Tribe's traditional and lost waterbending styles?

If I aged up Aang, and made it so he had been frozen in the South Pole, not out of sheer chance but out of him actually BEING IN THE AREA when the storm struck him? That could do the trick! If his journey as a waterbending master was already underway by the time he was frozen, then he'd have two elements down... and he could be Katara's teacher instead! While there were downsides to this decision, of course, it actually made a ton of sense to me mainly because I don't love the way it feels like Katara, in canon, never truly reclaimed the traditional southern style of waterbending. This, then, meant that Aang could provide her with a connection to her own people and their past, something he can't offer her in canon.

So! With that in mind? I aged up Aang and made him 19, and Kataang could be preserved and be developed this way. Part of it is also motivated by my genuine confusion, when I first watched the show, over the old Air Nomad leaders deciding that Aang, already declared an airbending master, "needed to master more advanced airbending techniques" right after revealing that he was the Avatar. I mean... if he's already a master, doesn't it make more sense to send him to the next element he's supposed to learn? Especially considering it's water? And considering that the storm clouds in the horizon were coming from the Fire Nation, so the more water to fight them, the better? :'D

So yep, that was another reason why I made the choices I made.

Lo and behold, slowly and surely, the core bones of Gladiator were starting to take shape: Azula and Sokka start as contentious allies, joining forces for a common goal and very different motivations, all of which would lead them into falling in love over time. Their biggest threats in the league are Toph and Combustion Man, but perhaps bigger still would be Iroh, who would rat them out to Ozai (I'm 100% serious when I say this specific element of the story has been part of Gladiator's DNA since the very start, the whole journey I threw Iroh into was basically "how do I get him to the point where he would be THAT pissed off as to do something like this with no regard as to the consequences of his own actions?"). Zuko, Katara and Aang would more or less stick to being involved in fighting the war, they wouldn't be all that connected to the Gladiator League or anything to do with that.

Worth noting that my friend started to come up with ideas for Zuko and Suki to get together and make sense as a couple in the story, and while at first it was just a casual thing that I figured would work alright, her ideas became... so much more poignant than I ever imagined they would be.

About one year, maybe a year-and-a-half, after I started plotting Gladiator, I actually figured out what my endgame would be.

At that point, I actually knew where we were going and I started to focus my attention on plotting how to get there. New concepts started to pop up, things that I absolutely hadn't thought about from the get-go: I DID have my alternate idea on what was going on with Ursa since ages ago (the swamp concept, as you'll likely have read already...), and after The Search thoroughly disappointed me, I chose to stick with that path without looking back. But while this was in the background, something I knew had happened but that I doubted I'd be able to work into the story productively, I realized it would actually be something I could explore IN the story once Part 3 stopped being a big nebulous blob of mystery for me. I decided that Sokka and Azula would be torn away from each other, that HE would be the one leading the war faction out of the South Pole and into the chaos of war, that Piandao's tile for Sokka, mainly done as homage to canon back when I wrote that, could actually represent something FAR GREATER if Sokka joined forces with the White Lotus to fight the Fire Nation and return to Azula...!

... And one of my most evil advisors of those years also very casually inceptioned into my head the very wicked idea of pregnant Azula in the middle of this mess :'D

I could go on and on, honestly! I have one funny thing to bring up, and it's that the scene from the Northern Air Temple arc, where Sokka tells Azula his true fears and feelings about his family, how he doesn't think he's worthy of going home and is genuinely apprehensive of returning because he thinks his dad will be disappointed in him? That... was repurposed from a very early idea I had for Sokka and Azula, once they were properly together, traveling to Whaletail Island, and spending a casual day/night in bed talking about a lot of things, which then led into Sokka talking about his family and what he actually felt about them, which Azula wasn't supposed to know about until then :'D That was, ironically, the origin point for the Whaletail Island arc. The scene that originated it just... never happened x'D

As you may be able to tell... the progress of their relationship, the evolution and development of the characters, caused a LOT of things to move forward way faster than I thought they would. Hence, Sokka wound up telling Azula about all those things WAAAY sooner than I originally envisioned. By then, Whaletail's scene was kind of broken down and spread into other situations and arcs instead! Again: this is why I can't write out of chronological order xD

One funny thing to look back on was my confident belief that Sokka and Azula would spend the bulk of Part 1 doing a mutual pining thing where neither one realized the other felt the exact same way about them... when I was in the middle of their best conversations in the Rough Rhinos' arc, the THIRD ARC of the entire story, I was like "yo... they're 100% aware of the fact that they're down bad for each other already. There's literally no mystery about how they feel, THEY OBVIOUSLY ALREADY KNOW." And that hilariously changed A LOT of how things developed later, because I sure as heck didn't plan for them to kiss in the Rough Rhinos arc at all (it kinda happened on a whimsical plotting session, a few days before writing it :'D). I did NOT plan for them to kiss at Ty Lee's backyard, either (oh, this one was basically them getting out of my control and doing whatever they wanted, same evil advisor I mentioned earlier told me to go with it while I cried to her about how I apparently just COULDN'T STOP THEM FROM MAKING OUT???)...

Ember Island's arc, so poignant and crucial and such a KEY element in their relationship, was probably plotted well after... six months since the original idea of Gladiator came to my head. I did not think about this one until A WHILE into writing the story already. I was probably almost done posting the Rough Rhinos by the time the full concept of that arc materialized in my head! The beloved Pairs Tournament arc? That was 100% a reader's suggestion, from an ask I got one day! x'D I told them that sounded like a fun concept, and then, once I pondered it some more and fleshed it out, it ended up becoming a highlight for me, it's gone on to become a fan favorite arc of the entire story, as well as The Arc where Toph finally became friends with Sokka and Azula properly!

So. Yep. Basically... I do not plot anything linearly. I can't. If I did, I wouldn't have a clue of where I'm going and I'd lose my steam so fast that I would just crumble under the weight of not seeing the point of what I'm doing. I think I can write without a huge endgame, to a fault, with less demanding stories... but Gladiator was ALWAYS so much bigger than anything my brain could wrap around back when I first started to plot this story, and it's no joke to say that it's really taken me ten years to not only write it, but actually plot the story as thoroughly as I can (hell, only a few months ago I got struck by lightning with A PLOT TWIST that I just wrote yesterday! A crazy development I absolutely HAD NOT thought about, and that I fell in love with completely when it came to mind!). The amount of threads and possibilities and ideas that I've been juggling for AGES is probably a little crazy, honestly.

But yeah, in short, it's wild to think that even though I absolutely planned several things YEARS before they came into fruition, ultimately, the final arc of Part 1 came together before the first one, in many senses. It came together before every arc, basically, and all the material in between was just a matter of building a huge, solid bridge to the point where Sokka and Azula would finally act on their feelings. The process through which I got there absolutely changed me in a thousand ways, my ideas and my plans often wound up switched up whenever a random, crazy idea came up, and I thought to myself "... and why not?" after a few moments of indulging it and being on the brink of discarding it.

As another fun tidbit of information? That's kind of what happened with something as vital to the story as Rei has been, throughout Part 3: she is a character I came up with, not really on the fly, but at relative random once I was planning on having Azula seek Zhao for help over Toph's predicament back in Part 2. I loved the idea of a teenage, dorky maid who had NOT expected to meet the Princess, but initially? She's nothing to make a fuss over because we've been seeing heaps of people who are starstruck by Azula by then. She only stands out for having the dorkiest reverence ever x'D and part of why she stands out too, instead of getting written off, initially, as Zhao's nameless, aimless home staff, is because I had thought about the potential of making her Zhao's illegitimate daughter at this point in time! But I DIDN'T go all in with it on her first appearance... because I wasn't sure. Because I didn't think I could juggle ANOTHER plot point and new character on top of everything I had to set up (at this point I was particularly preoccupied by figuring out how to establish Shaofeng and Renkai as important characters for my future purposes with both of them :'D). So I said "nah, you know what? She's just the cute and quirky maid. We like her. Zhao is decent to her. He doesn't need to be her father."

... About two weeks before going all in on the Hahn's Gambit arc, I was pondering Part 3. The idea of Rei being Zhao's illegitimate daughter returned to mind. My impulse was dismissing my own thoughts, frankly, along the lines of "I mean, wtf would she even do once Zhao becomes Crown Prince? She'd be abandoned in the estate anyway, like, what, she would inherit it or something?" and then... then it struck me. I realized that she could very well just come with him. As his maid. And then, she could become Azula's maid...

... What followed was about three days of plotting that suddenly brought LIFE to Azula's Part 3 early storyline and I suddenly could not BELIEVE I had ever let myself think I could let go of this character and make nothing of note with her x'D

The situation with Rei is, indeed, something that happened often throughout Gladiator. Some ideas I've clung to, some ideas I've dismissed, some ideas have terraformed the groundwork I'd already set up... and instead of panicking about it? I've done what I could to work with it. Hence, that the will-they-won't-they did NOT include the agony of "but would he/she return my feelings?!" wound up being a result of the build up, something I didn't plan all along but that worked perfectly for my purposes. The idea of making Sokka and Azula's relationship not be just some powerful high, the be-all-end-all of the story once it was crystallized and once they were together? That wasn't immediate, either... but it certainly came along as a result of my greed, I'd dare say x'D

When I realized how long this story was going to be, I told myself this fic was basically the landscape upon which I could very well turn all my Sokkla dreams come true. And it wasn't ONLY the Sokkla dreams related to their fluff, or smut, or angst... no, it was even the fact that, for ONCE, I could build a story where Sokka and Azula were NOT the B-story to Zuko and Aang's A-story, unlike how it might have felt in most any other story, hell, even in my long defunct plans for how to conclude the story (and thank God that I dismissed that mess, honestly). Suddenly, I realized I could bring the ENTIRE Avatarverse together, reconfigure every character, repurpose as many of them as I cared to... and create a scenario where the story, every single major beat of it, was connected to THEM. Where the battle against Ozai was no longer some distant conflict with unexplored emotional stakes, it's a PERSONAL one, not only for Azula but for Sokka as well. And while I'm not going to pretend that I'm the only person who has ever rewritten ATLA to this extent without centering the story on Aang or Zuko, I can certainly say that I've never seen anything of this scale elsewhere (... which can be kinda literal too, considering this is, indeed, the longest fic in the fandom...).

But I REALLY didn't start out with that idea in mind. Back when the concept came to me... I really didn't know where I would be going, honestly. I knew this would be a HUGE commitment, but I didn't know how big, exactly. Now that I do know, that I have the full scope of the story in my grasp... I can tell you that yeah, I had no idea what I was getting into and I'm glad I jumped in anyway x'D

If anyone gets all the way through this long post and wants advice on how to cope with ridiculously long stories that are that difficult to plot? I think that my advice would definitely be to give it time, let it simmer, find the moments, the scenes you REALLY look forward to writing. Don't settle for powering towards the endgame without advancing the story beforehand: push things at other points of the story and if, when you reach your big story climax, you find that the leadup is different from what you were expecting you'd have in your hands, once you got there? ... Roll with the punches. Reconfigure the scene in your head. Improvise, to a fault, and build up FURTHER on what you already had... because the likelihood is that the outcome is going to be a thousand times better than your OG plans were. Don't let yourself get lost in enforcing a plot stubbornly: nothing makes a story come to life as vividly as surfing along with the new highs and changes that hit you at the spur of the moment, figuring out how to make your story the best it can be. I won't pretend Gladiator is anywhere close to perfect... but after just looking back on everything that has led us to where we are? I can definitely say I'm very proud of this story's journey, very proud of having jumped into this madness even when my vision of it, at the time when I started plotting, could have never informed me of every crazy thing I'd end up achieving with this story. While some important elements of the story 100% stayed true to my OG concept... I'm really glad that I let myself change certain aspects because it enriched everything I was doing well beyond the scope of what I could grasp back then.

Anyway. Sorry for the long rambling. I got a little hyped haha. Thanks for the ask!

[vomara]

So I'm writing a fic for Zutaraang where Aang is dating Kataang and starts dating Zuko, but he's an oblivious dumbass and doesn't realize he's spending so much time with Zuko bc he's in love with him and Katara kinda gets pushed to the side unintentionally. They work it out in the head, but if you have any hot takes for this I'd love to hear them bc I love your takes on Zukaang and the characters

oh boy, that sounds so mfing good...

hm, idk about HOT TAKES, but i do love zutaraang so hm. here's some thoughts, many of which are centered on katara:

well, for one: i think katara is a lot more perceptive in relationships than both aang and zuko, at least when it comes to other people. she's not very perceptive when those feelings are directed towards her, though, and i don't think she's very perceptive about her own feelings about others too -- specifically romantic feelings (she's fine platonically). this kinda shows in canon when aang is mooning over her and she just... doesn't notice too often until something particularly romantic happens. (think: cave of two lovers.) 

she DOES have a tendency, in canon, to see a hot boy and make heart eyes, but that bout of infatuation never lasts. (one of the reasons i tend to dislike most z*utara is because most people see their initial chemistry as predominantly fatuous... and that never sits right for me, not for these characters. but then again, that's a personal taste.) the reason she and aang have a sweet romance is because they have a strong and steady friendship underlying it.

either way, because she's a bit perceptive about external relationships, and also because she's very familiar with aang, she totally spots his crush from a mile away. she can also tell that aang is oblivious to his own feelings. i think she'd feel conflicted at first -- does aang's feelings for someone else mean he has less feelings for her? given what we've seen of the water tribes, they seem to be more conservative, monogamous cultures. (though the SWT and NWT probably do have differences.) does this context influence katara's initial views?

personally, i think katara would get over her qualms of aang potentially liking someone else rather quickly, specifically because this is in regards to zuko. she knows that zuko means something else to aang. she thinks she may have known it since all the way back near the beginning of their journey together, when aang collected zuko from the snow in the s1 finale. was he simply choosing to be kind back then or was he repaying some unspeakable favor? there's something powerful between them that she's never been able to penetrate and she's fine with that. and maybe she's also okay with it because zuko himself has never been the "same" as every other friend to her.

later, after she comes to terms with aang's love for zuko, i think there's something that surges in katara when she watches aang and zuko together, being casually affectionate, aang braiding zuko's hair. it's not jealousy, or anger, or despair. it's the powerful joy you get when you hear a baby laugh for the first time, the fierce protectiveness you feel when your pet's heart beats against you, the deep and mature love you feel when you see your significant other beside you. and i think maybe katara almost wants to cry. it's a beautiful feeling, but i don't think she can quite conceptualize her own love yet.

as she spends more time with zuko, this feeling becomes dominating. suddenly she doesn't feel like she loves aang alone, but that zuko has come into her little family, too. and that's such a difficult feeling to reconcile, given the fact that she feels like aang and zuko have gained something she feels she may no longer have or even never have had with aang. but maybe that's okay, because she has facets of aang that zuko will never have. now, she's starting to think that she wants something with zuko that aang may not have. and furthermore -- she might like the both of them together.

all the while, aang and zuko are oblivious to this, and even to their own feelings. they both harbor clearly romantic feelings, but both of them are in denial of those feelings. but certainly, aang wonders why katara's been despondent lately, why she seems to have a different dynamic with him now. he can't tell what's changed. he's tried so hard not to let his friendship ("friendship") with zuko blossom into something else, yet maybe it's still interfering with his relationship with katara. but he doesn't know how to fix this, and certainly, he can't even begin to understand that he's truly, deeply, and irrevocably in love with both of them. (even if he has a cultural disposition towards understanding it.)

zuko is also starting to feel things and he's not quite sure how to categorize them. he's always had a difficult relationship with love. he feels like he's learned friendship sufficiently, but romance is altogether an alien thought. he doesn't know how to set that boundary between friend and romantic partner well -- it all just blurs together. he had something with mai, still sort of does, but they were always something else, not this inexplicable gravity that draws him ever closer to aang. it's so hard for him to put a name to his own attraction -- this robust, impulsive, profound thing -- but it pulls at him, at first only in one direction (to aang), but then in two (to aang and katara).

and shit, i think i wrote a whole bunch more than i even expected. take this as you will!

[shadowsong26fic]

Coming Attractions!

First Monday of the month, which means a Coming Attractions post!

Precipice:

…I know I keep saying this, but I legit do intend for the last two chapters in Arc 7 to go up in the Very Near Future, lol…I know more or less what needs to happen in all four-five scenes I have left, I know vaguely what order I want them to go in, it’s just a matter of sitting down and writing them (and cleaning up the one I have mostly done). So, yeah. It will happen, and then we can move on to Preludes and Promises and get to some OT-era stuff and characters, which should be fun!

Other SW Fic Projects:

I finished up an exchange fic! I thought it turned out pretty well, if a little bit rushed. Anyway, my giftee liked it which is the most important thing. Basically, going over Anakin and Padme’s courtship in an AU where she’s already married to someone else when they reconnect.

Other than that, I’ve been noodling some on the dragonshifters AU (which, unless I come up with something better between now and then, assuming I can tease out an actual Plot, either this or OFLAM will probably be my SWBB project for next year). Still trying to finalize exactly who knows Anakin is one--with Padme, it’s just her immediate family and her handmaidens who know (she’s Discreet mostly because of the weight dragonkin carry in Naboo mythology, she wants to be sure that that’s not the reason she’s elected or appointed to any of her political positions, which is Antithetical to her views on democracy); with Bo-Katan, it’s an open secret, in that it’s Known that the younger of the two Kryze girls is dragonkin, but most of the time it’s better for her not to be Obviously the younger of the two Kryze girls so she doesn’t advertise or shift very often. But for Anakin, given his background, his default impulse is to hide it from everyone. I was discussing it with some people, and I’m pretty sure Obi-Wan has to know. Padme, of course, will find out when they get married, and I’m pretty sure Ahsoka learns early on into their partnership. Not sure about anyone else in the Order or Rex, but I’m leaning towards no, at least until the Plot, whatever it may be, really kicks into gear. But I’m still waffling.

Anyway. Still searching for a Plot on that one, still noodling at some other things, but yeah. Not a lot of actual Progress made in terms of SW fic (other than exchange piece) this month.

Other Fanfic Stuff:

<.< >.> I’ve been rereading a bunch of old ATLA RP logs, lol. Soooo like last month, IDK if I’m actually going to write anything (a lot of what’s been bouncing around in my head is heavily self-indulgent AU stuff or very OC-centric or both. ...mostly both) but it’s possible? It is kind of hilarious to come across OCs I would have to retire (for example, I had a mixed NWT/EK character who was an earthbender who at minimum I would have to rename because, uh, canon!Yakone is actually Kind Of Important lol) or significantly rework (good lord I had some Bonkers character concepts running around) if I were to use them, but a lot of them I still find fairly interesting/compelling? I mean, Kirana actually ended up migrating to one of my original worlds (although Farglass!Kira is a lot calmer/more at peace with herself and her ability to see the future than ATLA!Kira is, and didn’t bring her ATLA siblings with her) but there’s still some cool people I could keep working with, if I wanted. I have a vague notion of where I might start, in terms of what I’d want to do if I did get back into writing for this fandom, but I’m still waffling (and I’d probably want to rename the kid if I did do anything with this particular plotline but IDK). (…basically, at least initially canon-compliant story where Lu Ten had a girlfriend during the Siege, only things get A Lot More Complicated from there, starting with the Someone To Remember Him By trope. Probably throwing in a couple of my other OCs for good measure because Why Not.) Like I said, IDK if I’ll actually get back into actively writing for this fandom, or if I’ll use that particular OC/plot thread if I do, but that’s percolating in my brain a bit lately.

Every so often, some of my BSG OCs or plot threads pop up in my head but no real movement on them lately, but it’s always possible!

Original Fiction:

Thanks to a daily prompt challenge on rainbowfic, I actually got a bunch of stuff done this month! I think I only wrote…like…one piece that introduced any new characters/concepts/important plot devices but still! Writing happened!

For next month--well, like I said, priority is gonna be those two Precipice chapters. Probably noodling at some other stuff, both SW and other fandoms/ATLA. Hopefully writing some more original stuff as well, but we shall see.

...aaaaand I think that about covers it for this month! What about you guys? What have you been up to lately?

[chucksandjeans]

A DECADE IN REVIEW & GOALS FOR BEYOND

PRECURSOR

This is a difficult post to write because there’s a lot to reflect on. Where do I start? Over the years, I’ve gone back and forth whether it makes sense to write these things down. It all started years ago when LiveJournal was popular. I wrote down daily routines and activities that I did during the week. It was remarkably diary-oriented with little thought put into what I wanted out of it. This Tumblr account started 11 years ago in 2008 when I arrived in Singapore to start my semester abroad. I started to document my exchange adventures, foods I ate, sights I saw. It was a means to write down my life so I would not forget it. In more recent times, I continued writing down travel blogs but moved towards using writing as a way to plan for the future. It’s interesting looking back and seeing that my younger self scribbled notes about daily events, then grew into my 20s writing things down to not forget them, and now using writing to plan for the future. I wonder what the next decade in review will look like.

2010-2019 AT A GLANCE

Overall, I give myself A- for this decade.

RELATIONSHIP - A

I spent the first few years of the decade lost. I came out of a long-term relationship and hurt people along the way, myself included. It was a difficult time in my life and I was jaded for a long time. Between the ages of 22 and around 25, I was a quintessential tool that did a lot of things that I thought someone in their early 20s should be doing. Going out, dating random people, not being honest with anyone to protect myself. It took a lot of courage to get out of that state and looking backwards, it was a state that I had to go through. Things changed when I met my wife who pulled me out of that slump and showed me that love could be all powerful. I am so grateful for my past relationships because they all brought me to where I am today. My marriage has evolved from a simple swipe to dating to moving in to signing the papers and soon having our first child. It’s crazy to think back to 2010, what I was doing and thinking back then, and fast forward to today. It’s magical to see what life has to offer and I am only beginning to appreciate all the small things. I started weak but finished the decade strong.

FAMILY - B+

My family is small in Toronto and North America. I love them deeply and when I look back, I don’t think I truly showed them that when I was younger. My parents brought me here, giving up their careers and community, so I could have a better life. I gave them a ton of grief as a teenager and could have done a better job in my 20s to take care of them. As I grew older, I understand why my dad use to say “you’ll know when you’re older”. I use to roll my eyes but now I understand. I hope I can pass this knowledge onto my child(ren) so that they can mature their thinking. Likely, they won’t understand until they are adults too but that’s just how the cookie crumbles. My extended family in Hong Kong - I neglected them for the most part. I spent my 20s traveling around the world and only went back in 2018, 10 years after my last visit. I can’t express how happy I was to see them and at the same time, seeing how the years have taken its toll on them. I hope I still have time to see them and create memories before the winters go by. 

FRIENDS - B+

The definition of friend has changed dramatically. I use to think friends were the ones who I partied with, drank with and ate with. I tried to have as many friends as possible and know as many people as possible. What a silly way to think? People came and gone and I struggled with that, in particular when the fake friends faded away. Real friends faded away too. I can’t say that it came as a surprise but it definitely came. I use to think friends lasted forever - the way we hung out, how often we hung out, how many movies we saw - but now I see, just like everyone said, parties will eventually end. I had to redefine what the word friendship meant to me. Sometimes I look at photographs and see faces of people that I never see or talk to. Friendships evolve and I am glad that there are a handful that I cherish deeply. New friends, old friends, it’s time to think about who are the real friends.

CAREER - A

The beginning of the decade marked the beginning of my career. I started at E&Y in September 2009 so January 2010 was still early days. I just finished the CKE and going into my first busy season before the SOA and UFE exams later in 2010. It was a long time ago but it feels like yesterday. I wonder if 2010 VLiu knew that everything would be okay, that 10 years later, he would be still clueless and figuring things out. So much has happened since then, from being promoted to moving functions to companies. I got lost in a big company and searched for meaning in my work. I learned how to work tools and technology, networked and built relationships. I screwed up, joined the wrong company and returned to a career that I knew was not my passion. I met great people, managed a growing team and launched a business. I did case studies. I learned that my skills defined me but I could learn new skills. I pushed harder than I ever thought possible, mentally and emotionally. This last decade was a blur. What a blur.

TRAVEL - A+

I did well here. After the exchange semester and Europe backpacking trip in 2009, 2010 onwards marked the most active travel itineraries that I could dream of. Years ago I already started jotting down my goals on where to globetrot and as this decade comes to a close, I am proud to have been to 6 of the 7 continents, hiked some of the world’s greatest trails, lived in tiny huts and tents to lush hotels. It was a decade to remember and a passport to cherish. I grew a lot as a person having seen so many things and as I think back, I am very lucky to have had the opportunities, money, time and freedom (and companions) to see these places. Travel is good for the soul, and this part of my soul is happy. I marked Norway as my 50th country with my wife and no longer am I chasing stamps. I am now chasing memories.

HEALTH - B

I am proud of myself for creating a healthy lifestyle for myself early on even before 2010. I have a certain friend to thank for this, but early on in first year university, he inspired me to take up weight training. Since then, I have been dedicated to this activity and it carried through to 2019. I can’t say that I work out as much anymore. From 2010-2015, I probably worked out 5 times a week for at least 60 minutes per session and ate a ton of protein shakes. In more recent years, this has dialed back for reasons I am ashamed to say as laziness. I still go 1-2 times per week but that’s still way less than before. However, I am choosing to eat healthier with less meat which counts for something!

FINANCE - B+

I have been notorious with saving and believing that paying myself first is always the best path forward. I don’t know what the future holds so having a steady contribution to investments was the approach that I have been taking. Hopefully it works. I trust finance theory.

PERSONAL - B+

I am proud of what I’ve accomplished between 2010-2019. I’ve grown as a person personally and professionally. I have matured in how I think about friends and family, and what it means to be happy. I made mistakes along the way and I learned from them. Now, I am in a good place with all aspects of my life. Overall, it was a good 10 years.

FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF THE DECADE

Everything Celine-related: meeting her, getting to know her, building a relationship, planning a wedding, having the wedding, and all the ups and downs in-between. I think back and cannot picture my life without her.

Road trip: the drive from Toronto to LA was monumental and solidified some lifelong friendships that cannot be replicated. The memories are so precious and I am so glad that trip happened.

Buying a house and decorating: the rush of signing papers, moving in and the fun of hanging paintings and measuring furniture. Ah, first homes!

Walking the Highline NYC with Celine: it was just so magical. The sunset, the city, the photo that captured it all.

Weddings: this decade was filled with many joyous celebrations of my friends getting married. It was so beautiful to see them tie the knot and celebrate with old friends. I know I complained about too many weddings, but now that I think about it, I will miss the weddings.

Revisiting Singapore: SG has a special place in my heart. Seeing PGP again too. It feels like a different me but the same me. I miss that part of my life a lot.

Darth and See Lai month: 2015 was a rough year as I chose a terrible boss and made a made career mistake. Luckily for me, I had a network to help me and I got through it. Darth reminds me that most importantly in any career, happiness comes first. Money is a byproduct. The one month spent at home was filled with mom-son time. I loved every second of it, even though I was recovering from a traumatizing experience.

Jamie: Jamie Anderson, the classiest man I know. His deep voice, decisive attitude, and gentleman’s classiness, I will never forget.

Corporate Development: this was a huge career accelerator for me. The people that I met and the deals that I worked on set me up nicely for the rest of my career. Project Laker will always be my pride and joy.

Ventures, Anthony and Derek: Joining RBC Ventures was a life-changing experience. I finally learned that I could learn new skills, and be friends with the people I worked with. I met two of my greatest mentors. It was the time of my life.

Norway: nuff said. Norway 2 aka. Iceland was also great.

Travel stuff: all the places I went this decade were so great.

Duncan and NWTS nights: some of these nights I dragged myself out. Now that I think back, these are the nights I can’t and still remember.

Living in condos: Pinnacle has a special place in my heart. Moving from 12 to 16 Yonge and to 33 Bay several floors. I had fun living in my own filth hehe and eating take-out everyday, walking to the Goodlife at 8pm to workout. Everything has a time and place.

Being a douche in the PATH: slicked hair, fitted suit. Every dude has to try it once!

Mom karaoke parties: always a fun time!

Music festivals: Veld, Swedish House Mafia, Digital Dreams. #awesomesauce

Hanging out at NWS townhouse and walking to BBT with Stella: the summers that I lived downtown had some fun activities after work. The summers were always filled with nighttime fun like bars and drinking and walking Bentley.

Passing UFE: it was pretty cool studying for the exams and passing them!

Cube: club nights.

2019 AT A GLANCE

I am very happy with 2019. My wife and I came out of 2018 with gusto with new energy and dreams. This year had a fair share of ups and downs which taught me resilience and the power of positive thinking. When Steve left the company, I was devastate and had to learn how to deal with it while managing a big team. Celine and I hiked Patagonia and we found out we were expecting a baby. Later in the year, I found a new career direction while preparing for the new baby’s arrival. It was an experiential year with so much to be thankful for.

RELATIONSHIP - A

This was the first full calendar year of marriage. Celine and I are growing day by day and moving on to the next chapter with the arrival of our baby in a few weeks. 2019 was a much “easier” year than 2018 now that the wedding and the house costs are behind us, so we spent a large part of the year enjoying each other’s companies. We spent our honeymoon hiking in Chile, visiting family in Vancouver, and explored Italy, Slovakia and Hungary. We ate at amazing restaurants and created unforgettable memories. A few weeks ago, we ate at Patria, the restaurant where we had our first date, to close a chapter in our lives as a couple and welcomed the next chapter as a family of three. We are ready.

FAMILY - A

I really enjoyed this year because we had the chance to visit family with my parents in Vancouver. It was a very fun trip and one that was long overdue. Without the pressure of the wedding, 2019 was more of a breeze.

FRIENDS - A

We had a fair share of dinners and hangouts this year. Celine also hosted a few DTL sessions at home which was great. I also strengthened friendships with some old friends and new friends, which I am particularly proud of. 

CAREER - A+

There were a ton of ups and downs this year. From Steve leaving the organization to an unnamed person on the team who was a pain to manage, this was year marked with learning how to deal with things. My career was predominantly smooth sailing except for the grief that I cause myself mentally but this year was truly a test on my character and perseverance. I was lucky to have great mentors and friends who coached me through the hard times and I came out the other side a stronger person. Later in the year, I found happiness in a new career direction. I saw this as a culmination of my many sleepless days and nights thinking about what’s next, and an outlet for my trapped ambition. I am at peace with all the bumps that I encountered to get here because now I am here, and I love it.  Earlier in the year, I set out to find a role where I can develop new skills, stimulate my brain, gives me a strong network  and provides a leverage a brand. I can truly say that 2019 was a defining year for my career.

TRAVEL - A

Celine and I flew a fair bit this year from Chile to Vancouver to Europe. Chile was a beauty and brought me back to our road trip days in Norway and Iceland. Hiking in Patagonia, trekking the Atacama and sleeping in a rusty shack near the Magellan Strait are going to be memories of a lifetime. Vancouver, another great trip with family. Europe was a different feel and it was Celine’s first time in the Eastern side of the continent. The cuisine and history was super awesome and I’d go back in a heartbeat. From a work travel perspective, I had the chance to go to New Orleans for a few days and then San Francisco for 11 days for orientation. It was my spending so much time in San Francisco and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to experience it. Now I know that I shouldn’t pick a hotel in Tenderloin to stay in. I did not do well in setting a new travel goal however. After I hit 50 countries, it’s been challenging to think of a tangible target to run towards. I need to do that this year.

HEALTH - B-

This was an average year for health both physically and mentally. Physically, I’ve been going to the gym less and less, maybe 1-2 times per week. I did complete the RBC Race for the Kids 5km though in a pretty decent time, but next year, woooobooooyyy not sure. I spent many nights stressed and sleepless because of the ups and downs at the office so that was not great. However, Celine and I started doing affirmations first thing in the morning and before bed. It’s a chance for us to think about what we are thankful for. It’s become routine for us now, and it’s helped a lot.

FINANCE - B

We did well this year. Aside from being a big under the water after the basement and backyard renovations, which we had to do, we kept our spending in check and continued to save throughout the year. Celine and I are both aligned on how we view finances which is good, and a testament to how a rough 2018 year prepared us for 2019 and beyond (especially with a new baby coming soon).

PERSONAL - C+

I spent the last few years thinking about my career and very little on how to improve myself outside of that realm. I don’t know how much that has impacted me, but I can say at a minimum that it’s kept me up many a nights thinking about my career. Now that my career has been realigned, I should spend more time thinking about my goals from a personal perspective. In 2018, I did accomplish my goal of reading 3 books and writing in my journal 2x per month. These now seem like easy, attainable goals though so nothing to celebrate.

FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF 2019

Celine telling me that she’s pregnant: unspeakable happiness.

Hearing my baby’s heartbeat for the first time with my ear: this was so mind-boggling to me. For the longest time, the baby did not hit me as reality as much as Celine...since she was carrying Leia and all. But hearing her heartbeat changed it all.

Seeing my Uncle 1 and Auntie 1: I haven’t seen them for years...or a decade. I can’t remember now but it was warming to see them again in the same house years later.

At Stephen’s Basilica rooftop: the sunset was beautiful atop the church looking over Budapest. It was not quite Aksla, but it was indeed captivating.

Cuernos and Patagonia: the views, experience, air and water. The hike, although rainy, was perfect.

Borago: World’s 50 Best does not disappoint. My favourite was still the rainwater from Patagonia.

Windy shack in Punta Arenas: the town was lame but the tiny hut that called itself an Airbnb was memorable. The Magellan Strait is very windy and shook the house until Celine and I worried that the roof would fall onto us. Hah.

The day we almost died: Patagonia at its finest.

Steve leaving: this was a rough day for me and the beginning of a rough week. My world fell apart piece by piece and I did not feel career disappointment like this before.

Me leaving: the decision to leave Butter/Ventures was difficult and I weighed the pros and cons. I chose to leave under my criteria which was easy, but actually leaving was very hard. Luckily for me the relationships that mattered are still strong.

Various case studies: LOL.

Interview at Square: I got the first email when I got back from Europe in early September. From then until the final interview on Wednesday, October 23 was a rush. I received the offer verbally on Friday, October 25. I accepted the Saturday. It all moved so quickly.

Seeing NWS super happy about escape rooms: I rarely see NWS that excited and it was fun to see on Ryan’s birthday. Board games and escape rooms - it was more like NWS’ birthday.

GOALS FOR 2020 AND BEYOND

RELATIONSHIP

I will support my wife in her personal and career endeavors. I will encourage her to be creative, ambitious and honest with herself so that she can achieve her maximum potential.

I will be an attentive and caring husband, and try to be positive in the most difficult situations. I will listen first and offer an opinion after if suitable in the situation.

I will be cognizant that my wife is stressed from taking care of the baby and try to relieve her stress as much as possible.

I will recognize milestones and also everyday events because life is short.

Stretch: I will create and capture more memories outside of Instagram, through writing, photos or videos.

By 2029: I will be a model husband that knows how to cook, clean and take care of my wife and family. I will continue celebrating the big and small moments with my wife, remembering anniversaries and birthdays, and continue being the young-love that we have today.

FAMILY

I will be a great father, whatever that means! I don’t know yet but I promise to be a great one.

I will be more present in gatherings and create a balance where possible to bridge the various groups.

I will maintain a strong relationship with family overseas.

Stretch: talk to at least 1 overseas family member once a month

By 2029: I will be the father to 2 beautiful children. I will be supportive and understand them as much as possible, and try not to be a lame dad. I will have great relationships with my family and my in-laws, and maintain a strong connection those overseas. I will be back in HK at least 2 times in this decade.

FRIENDS

I will build on strong social bonds by reaching out, staying in touch, physically going to see friends, and recognizing special moments.

I understand that this aspect of my life may change with a new baby coming but I hope to maintain a relationship with at least my closest friends. I will not be non-existent to friends.

Stretch: hang out with 1 friend per a month

By 2029: I will be a great friend to a small group of people. I will celebrate their big and small moments, and try my best to keep the group close.

CAREER

I will think about my career more critically and plan out my path. Now that I have started a new path at Square, it is important to think about what I am learning here and map that out against where I want to eventually get to. This allows me to think about my career in a more structured way.

I will consistently evaluate my skillset and upgrade/up-skill where I see a gap, through reading books or taking a course.

Stretch: meet at least 2 new people every month who can help me in my career or gives me new ideas and add an international aspect to my experiences; discuss international opportunities with Square

By 2029: I will be managing a small, high-performing team in a career of my choosing. This career will pay well, have great people and culture, and grant me the flexibility to work the way I want to to suit my lifestyle. I will have international work experience.

TRAVEL

Find a new goal that revolves around travel and cultural exploration. I want to love travel immensely again.

Go to at least one place with the new baby on a plane.

Stretch: Take Celine and the baby to San Francisco for a few weeks.

By 2029: I will have been to 60 countries and went on 2 more big hikes (which could mean something like Patagonia). I will have been back to Africa somewhere, Asia and Australia. Europe is fine too but it will have to be Scandinavia or Eastern Europe. Our baby will be well-traveled.

HEALTH

I will choose to eat healthy food more often. In particular, this means more fish, chicken, vegetables and legumes, and less red meat, fried foods and dairy products.

I will eat more fruits and drink more water (at least 2L daily).

I will workout at least twice a week.

Stretch: drink 3L of water daily, workout thrice a week and run one organized 5km-run.

By 2029: my kids would be old enough by this time so that I can go back to a regular gym schedule. Between 2020-2029, I want to maintain a healthy body and mind, great sleep, and no need for drugs. I will have healthy cholesterol and X levels to be able to eat what I want and exercise the way I want. I will look good.

FINANCE

I will continue shifting the finances on a monthly basis to ensure that Celine and I are tracking towards our retirement goals.

I will spend less money on products and more on experiences.

I will cut back on impromptu purchases.

I will continue saving money for myself, Celine and the baby.

Stretch: plan for investment property

By 2029: we will have 2 investment properties and a sizable investment portfolio suitable for our stage in life. We will be have financial freedom defined as having enough money to do what we want largely without financial limitations.

PERSONAL

I will find out what it means to be a husband and father.

I will dedicate time to self-improvement through reading, listening to podcasts, thinking about the future and philosophical topics, and documentaries where I can learn something.

I will focus on what I can control and push out things that I cannot control. I worry too much so this will help me reduce mental stress.

I will be a better listener and only dish out tough love sparingly.

I will continue documenting my career ambitions and philosophies in my journal at least 2x a month.

I will clean the house once a month. This means wiping the windows, vacuuming and mopping the floors, bleaching the sink, etc.

I will not leave my shoes and jackets everywhere, and will not leave the lights on if I don’t have to.

Stretch: I will read 5 books this year.

By 2029: I will be happy.

[thecaroliner]

North and South part 3 thoughts

My computer has locked up so I’m posting this on mobile, hence why there’s no read more. Sorry!

Obviously spoilers ahead

Alright so I’ve finally been able to read all of North and South part 3. I’ve seen most of it on Google Books glitches so I’ve had time to mull over the big moments, but I wanted to wait until I read the entire thing to review it.

So I’ll go ahead and say: I really, really liked North and South as a series. While it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for the return to the SWT comics, I’m very pleased with how they handled it.

That being said, I have a few criticisms. I’ll go ahead and get those outta the way first. I will say real quick I was in he camp of really wanting to see Suki. :(

My biggest complaint is that the series felt way too packed. Too many characters and storylines going on. We had Katara struggling to accept the changes to her home, Malina and Hakoda’s relationship, Gilak and his team, Siku and Sura’s issues….just, yeah, a lot going on. And some potential storylines were brought up but then never really executed at all? At the end of part 2, we see a potential rift forming between Katara and Sokka about the oil refinery being built. And while they do touch on it slightly in part 3, they still didn’t really do much about it. I mean, the two were on good terms throughout the book but I think a little bit more conflict between them would’ve been interesting to see.

Another thing I reallllly wanted was a big Kataang talk or something. Part 1 really made it seem like they were setting up for that. Katara literally said that the situation going on in the SWT is exactly what Aang went through during The Rift, having to accept changes to a place that was sacred to the Air Nomads. Right after this she even tells Sokka that she wishes Aang was there, so I really thought Katara would confide in him how she’s feeling and he would support her like she’s always done for him.

Also, Maliq disappearing without a trace was…odd. I get he probably went back to the NWT but everyone just kinda forget he existed?

One really minor thing is that I think it would’ve been cool to see more of Katara and Sokka’s extended family and friends from back home. I really wasn’t expecting it at all cause it’s not important so I wasn’t too let down, just something I think would’ve been neat.

That’s about all my criticisms so let’s jump to the good stuff!

My favorite part I think was Katara saving Malina in the end, and how it related back to her talk with Hakoda in part 2. When Hakoda was telling her about love and how real love sacrifices and all that, I was kind of expecting Katara to be in a situation where she’d have to sacrifice something for Aang? BUT NO, EVEN BETTER! Obviously at the end of part 2, Katara was apprehensive about Malina and didn’t trust her, or her love for Hakoda, but then at the end of part 3 Malina sacrificed herself to save Hakoda! It was a really beautiful moment, Katara realizes immediately that Malina’s love for Hakoda is genuine and knows right at that moment she has to save her. (I mean, I like to think she would’ve saved her regardless, but, you know). I also really liked how, although it was subtle, Katara’s necklace gleamed. Later at Kya’s grave she tells her mother that when she saved Malina, she felt a courage that she had felt at a few other big moments in her life (fighting Azula, saving Aang after Azula shot him, and trying to save the moon spirit). Katara says that the courage is something Kya passed onto her. IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SCENE, GUYS. ( Also - I guess another thing they didn’t resolve is that Katara still has issues with the oil refinery. I still don’t really get why she’s so adamantly against it, but I’m assuming she comes to accept it later on).

Another major moment I loved was Sokka telling Katara that the home she’s longing for doesn’t exist anymore, and Katara later realizing that he’s right, because the home she wants is one that includes Kya. Really beautiful scenes, and that’s honestly not something I had realized either.

Some minor moments I liked:

-Katara and Aang waterbending for Siku and Sura

-Sokka and Zuko’s hug. All the bromance feels, man.

-Toph making a hand out of her meteor bracelet and slapping that guy in the face. That was golden.

-When Katara realized they took Hakoda Aang’s just like “HANG ON” and swoops her up and they literally fly outside, Katara doesn’t even hesitate and Aang drops her so she can take down Gilak. Also, the way she slammed her fit on the ground and created that ice pillar, that totally looked like an earthbending move! Super cool

-BOSCO MISSING KUEI D:

- “I used to be a bad guy. I know how bad guys think.”

-Aang kissing Katara on the cheek :’D

-Everyone eating together in the end! Zuko being afraid of Bosco, Sokka trying to steal Toph’s food, Katara feeding Aang. That’s some good stuff right there.

So yeah I guess those are all my thoughts. As a whole, I really, really liked this series. This and Smoke & Shadow are definitely the best of the ATLA comics we’ve gotten. Not only are the writing and plot awesome, the art is BEAUTIFUL. I love Gurihiru’s style, how it’s very close to the original style of the show but like, still having Gurihiru’s style thrown in there. The designs look very fresh and modern!

As for what I’d like to see next for the ATLA comics, I’d love to see the Gaang in their late teens/early twenties and Republic City coming together.

[vsplusonline]

Is an 'echo pandemic' of mental illness coming after COVID-19?

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/is-an-echo-pandemic-of-mental-illness-coming-after-covid-19/

Is an 'echo pandemic' of mental illness coming after COVID-19?

TORONTO — The coronavirus that causes COVID-19 ravages the lungs in some who get infected, but it is certainly wreaking havoc with the mental health of virtually everyone, whether it touches them or not.

Whether you are on the front-lines in a hospital, nursing home or grocery store, or standing on the sidelines – doing your part by staying home – this pandemic is causing widespread anxiety, fear and dread.

People are afraid of the illness and what it could mean for them or their loved ones, but also about losing their jobs and paying their bills, and when, if ever, life will feel normal again.

Just like this virus, struggles with mental health affects people of all ages, education, income levels, and cultures all over the world.

Many Canadians, estimated at one in five in any given year, personally experience a mental health problem or illness. About 8 per cent of adults will experience major depression at some time in their lives.

Mark Henick is a mental health advocate, speaker and strategist who worries that once the virus emergency is brought under control, it could be followed by “a sort of echo pandemic of depression and anxiety and potentially even suicide” in the midst of “the carnage that this virus has left behind,” he told CTV News medical correspondent Avis Favaro.

Henick’s Why We Choose Suicide Tedx Talk is among the most watched in the world with more than 6 million views. And his successful search to find the man who saved him during a suicide attempt when Henick was a teen was a viral story.

But now the married father of three is living with the financial devastation of this pandemic, just like untold millions of others.

“Over the course of three days last week I had every single event that I was scheduled and contracted to do cancel for the next six months. So, you know, for me to have essentially my entire livelihood ripped out from under me within a few days has been very taxing on my own mental health as well.”

Michelle Garvey of Peterborough, Ont. overcame depression and anxiety to study to become an addiction counsellor and social services worker. But she worries that with her classes cancelled and her routine thrown into turmoil, that she could face a relapse of her symptoms.

“It’s shaken up a lot of things for me,” she said.

“Going back to school for me was something that provided the structure in my day and a new meaning to get out and get moving. So I need to continue having structure in my day so that I don’t fall back into the old ways.”

Garvey said she is reaching out to loved ones and practising mindfulness and gratitude to try to cope.

The rapid spread of this pandemic gave little chance to prepare for, or even process, all that has happened in terms of job losses and the complete upending of everyday life and relationships, says Dr. Roger McIntyre, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of Toronto.

“You lose your job overnight, you lose the security of your paycheque overnight. That is nothing short of an insult to your mental health and well-being,” he said.

“And we already know that being at work is not just a place that one takes away a paycheque, but it’s often a very important source of interpersonal connectedness.”

The immediate fallout can manifest in increased rates of addiction and depression, but McIntyre is particularly concerned about the long-term effects of this pandemic’s economic impact.

“Why I find this scary is that we know from a large body of scientific literature that there’s a close relationship between so-called macro-economic indicators, like unemployment and employment, and mental health and suicide.”

In fact, research out of the Great Depression and other economic downturns, found that a one-per-cent increase in the unemployment rate resulted in a one-per-cent uptick in the rate of suicides.

“This is not just a medical threat. This is an economic, financial threat that is going to have unbelievable effects on people’s mental health.”

The solutions have to be thought out while we are still running for cover against the virus itself, says McIntyre.

The priority must be on getting people back to work as soon as possible, and injecting resources into helping those in distress.

Henick also worries about the “downstream accumulated risk factors” if vulnerable people don’t get the long-term support they need from their landlords, employers, governments and banks.

“When this is all over, say six months from now, and they’re hit suddenly with large interest payments that have accrued on their debt, that’s going to put them in a worse-off position than they were before, and we know that financial struggles are one of the top stressors that negatively impact people’s mental health across Canada.”

Resources

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health offers a range of FAQs, self-assessment tools, and tip sheets here.

The Canadian Mental Health Association (CAMH) offers some tips to stay mentally well through these difficult times.

Canada’s National Defence department also offers some helpful tips.

World Health Organization (WHO) on coping with stress during COVID-19.

WHO on helping children cope with stress during COVID-19.

List of Canadian Crisis Centre Numbers – National and Provincial

Mental Health Commission of Canada: Tips for managing COVID-19 anxiety

Provincial and territorial resources

BRITISH COLUMBIA

Managing COVID-19 Stress, Anxiety and Depression

BC Mental Health Services

HealthLink BC mental health resources

ALBERTA

COVID-19 and your mental health

Coping and connection for children and families during COVID-19

Alberta Health Services mental health resources

Alberta Health Services program Text4Hope: a free service providing three months of daily Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)-based text messages written by mental health therapists.

ONTARIO

Ontario mental health and addiction services

Ontario promotes free mental health portal during Coronavirus pandemic

Bounce Back: Free mental health phone line support with a coach and online videos

Big White Wall: Free 24/7 peer-to-peer online mental health support network for Ontarians aged 16+

Toronto professer creates free online course to manage mental health during covid crisis

Psychotherapist Karen Dougherty created Ontario COVID-1 Therapists to offer free therapy to frontline healthcare workers

QUEBEC

Stress, Anxiety and Depression Associated With the Coronavirus COVID-19 Disease

NEW BRUNSWICK

Mental health and coping during COVID-19

Addictions and mental health

SASKATCHEWAN

Saskatchewan Mental Health and Addiction Services

MANITOBA

Government of Manitoba – Mental health and addictions

The Manitoba government launches a free online counselling program to help people struggling with anxiety caused by the COVID-19 pandemic

NOVA SCOTIA

Nova Scotia Mental Health and Addictions

PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

PEI Mental health and addictions supports

NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOR

Mental health and addictions

NORTHWEST TERRITORIES

NWT Community Counselling Program

YUKON

Mental Wellness and Substance Use Services across Yukon

NUNAVUT

Government of Nunavut – Mental Health

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