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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

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harmless (vi)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 1.9k

A/N: BUCKY BARNES IS BACK AND HAS A CONFIRMED PERSONALITY

also omg everyone who’s been sending me ideas- ur the lomls.

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! i might actually end up using them

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Your place or mine? ;)

He stares at the text.

The right answer is mine. See you at the lair.

“Y’all are dating now?” Clint peeks over his shoulder.

“Fuck no,” Bucky says indignantly. “God forbid.”

“Okay, man,” he retracts, giving Bucky space to turn around and face him. “What do you want to call your mini dates then?”

“Missions,” Bucky corrects him.

“No one wants to go on a mission. You volunteered to go back there.”

“It’s for the good of the tristate area.”

“I bet.” The snort he lets out contradicts his words. “Whole world is depending on you, Barnes. Go save them from the treachery of your crush.”

“Enemy.”

“Girlfriend.”

“Mortal nemesis.” Bucky narrows his eyes at him. “Go further, I dare you.”

“What are you gonna do? Choke me? Punch me with your metal arm?” Clint cranes his neck. “Bring it, big boy. I’m not scared of some kinky shit.”

He hates living here.

The door is left open for him.

This time, even though the lair is still illuminated by the green light out in the front, there’s a minor change. Sunlight streams in through a skylight in the roof.

There’s a ladder there, leaning against the rim. It gives him an entrance to the roof, which, judging by the lack of any other presence in the lab, is where he’s supposed to go.

As he gets closer he notices there’s a note on one of the rungs.

‘Evil’ with an arrow pointing upwards.

He rolls his eyes, discarding it on the floor before swiftly scaling the steps.

“Ah, Mr. Barnes,” he hears your voice call out even before his head pops up above the surface. “We’ve been expecting you.”

He pauses, looking around. “Who’s with you?”

Because other than the gigantic machine pointed up towards the sky, there’s only you with a visor and sunglasses. The best way he can describe its design was that it was shaped like a pine cone, had a large antenna pointed towards the sky, two handlebars near its base to manoeuvre it with a large button in between them.

“Just imagine I have my henchmen with me,” you urge. “I’m on a budget, man, I can’t afford them yet. Maybe when my cloning machine finally works-”

He doesn’t answer.

“It’s a James Bond reference,” you add when he doesn’t show any signs of answering.

“Haven’t watched it yet.” Bucky shrugs. “We’re doing Star Trek right now.”

“You’re done with Star Wars?” you, receiving a nod in confirmation. “Nice. You’d find the spy shit ridiculous anyway, it’s way below your level.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He makes a mental note to add the Bond movies to the list.

“Speaking of stars,” you begin, gesturing to the machine. “I’m going to harness the power of the sun.”

“For what?” He doesn’t bother asking how, he already knows you’ve figured out something.

“There’s a science exhibition and my team’s stupid solar car experiment isn’t working and I need it for them to win.”

“So build a better one.”

“No, ours is the best and if Jeff and his stupid baking soda volcano beat us then we’re going to have a murder on our hands.”

“Your hands,” he emphasises. He has nothing to do with this.

“I said what I said, boy.” You glare at him. “This is our problem now.”

“How much power are you taking?” If it’s insignificant enough, it wouldn’t matter much. He thinks.

“The whole thing.”

He laughs. He stops when you don’t.

“You’re taking all the energy of the sun to power your shitty science model.”

“Your face is a shitty science model,” you mimic him in a higher pitched voice. “I will do anything to win.”

He wonders which grade kid you stole that insult from was in. There’s no way they were anything older than 13. He could use it on Steve, maybe.

“Everyone on Earth will die.” He feels the need to remind you, even though there was no way it was actually going to take place. Eat shit, Clint. This superseded the tristate area.

“Not for eight minutes.” You look at your watch. “And, if Jeff dies then I win by default.”

“You’ll die too,” he points out.

“I’ll die a winner.” You nod seriously as if that makes it better.

He’s not that worried. Experience tells him that you’re not a mass murderer willingly.

“You’ll die an idiot.”

“Only if you don’t stop me.” Your lips curve into a smile. “And how will you when I do this?”

You yank the machine to point towards him and slam the button. His hand reflectively pulls in front of him to defend himself. Something hits him with enough force to send him skidding backwards slightly.

He removes his hand carefully from in front of him, looking at you.

Something feels off.

“You just-”

The knives strapped to his thighs suddenly feel heavier.

“Took your powers?” you finish his thought. “Yeah.”

He feels his body tip towards his left. He’s suddenly very aware of the weight of the arm. Had it been this heavy all this while?

“You’ve barely changed,” you noted, “You’re just regular Bucky but like, 20% less beef.”

After all, he was a boxer when he was a teen. One of the best men the Howling Commandos had even before the serum.

His shoulder feels heavier though. And somehow he thinks he’s sensing things a little less. He can’t really hear the faint buzzing of the generator downstairs anymore.

“Yep, that’s real muscle.” He turns when you poke at his shoulder. He doesn’t know when you got there. “You’re like a modern day Schwarzenegger. Grade A beefcake.”

He can’t see the construction site near the horizon as clearly as he used to.

Something about this situation makes him feel like he’s going to have a midlife crisis, even though he’s overshot the age by a huge number. No one has a midlife crisis at 106.

“Now that we’ve established that this works,” you say, back near the machine again. When did you walk there? “Let’s show this bitch that I’m the brightest star allowed in this solar system.”

He shakes his head to jolt himself awake, shoves aside his mental dysfunction and breaks out into a sprint when you pull the device down to aim it at the sky.

He latches onto the side, using his left hand to pull himself up, straddling the machine.

“Excuse me,” you exclaim like it’s a minor inconvenience and he feels the machine sway wildly under him. “You’re weighing it down, get off my inator.”

You’re shooting recklessly, trying to shake him off. It’s not dissimilar to the mechanical bull Natasha made him ride during a mission down south so she could win money off placing bets on him. They had lobster that night.

He reaches down to its side, hoping to feel maybe a panel he can rip off. He finds nothing.

He hopes none of the rays are actually hitting anything. It’s a little harder to stay on than he’d imagined it would be, and he thinks that maybe this wasn’t the best plan.

He changes his mind in a split second, swinging himself over so that he can climb the underside of the machine like a monkey bar. He feels like a fucking insect. How was Peter not mortally embarrassed?

He factors in the fact that his hands are getting clammier and his grip is slipping faster than usual. Also, he can taste his lunch at the back of his throat.

“Motherfucker,” Bucky curses when his hand slips, leaving him to hold on only by his metal arm.

“You okay?” you call out, not giving him a second to recover unless he really needed it.

He lets out a grunt, swinging his arm up and catching hold of the antenna, yanking it down and towards the machine itself. He pulls himself up so that he’s straddling the machine again.

One more shot and-

“Very smart, Barnes,” you say dryly, letting go of the handles.

He sends you a sly grin before sliding down the barrel, kicking the large button with his heel right before he jumps off.

The beam shoots out, instantly meeting with metal. The device automatically gives a mechanical groan before powering down, turning off altogether.

“I hate you,” you huff, before noting his paleness. “D’you want some water? An IV maybe?”

He dismisses it with a wave of his hand, inhaling heavily to catch his breath.

He’s tired, more so than he would have been under any normal circumstance. He feels a little dizzy, a little disoriented.

“Don’t worry, your magic powers will be back in a few minutes or so.” You examine the bent antenna, pressing the button and sighing when it stands there lifelessly. “Once Jeff wins, I’ll send the dry cleaning receipt to you. You can pay to get the tear stains out of the kids’ outfits.”

“Your tears or theirs?” He’s relieved about the powers returning, he thinks.

“Both, bitch.” Your eyebrow quirks at his retort. Clearly, he had more energy in him than people realised; his brain seemed to be working fine. He was stronger than you thought. Good for him.

“You’re smart. You’ll figure something out.” He lets out a final exhale before standing up a little straighter.

“Thanks. It’d be better if you asked your billionaire tech genius to send us something, but okay.”

“It’s a middle school science exhibition. Make a potato battery or something.”

You tsk-tsk. “No points for creativity, Mr. Barnes.”

It creeps into his mind without warning. He wonders if he actually wanted the powers back. Wonders what his life could be if he maybe retired, settled down. For the brief time he feels like his pre-war self, he starts to think like his pre-war self.

“I’m not the one who’s about to lose to a baking soda volcano,” he finds time to respond, however.

“Your face is a baking soda volcano.” You narrow your eyes at him. “I will not lose.”

“You’re running out of time. Chop chop.”

But the thought hits him. Who is Bucky without his super soldier serum? If he doesn’t have his powers then he can’t think of what use he is to the Avengers.

Who the hell is Bucky if he can’t provide a service to others? How else does he make up for being himself?

His, what he’s now deemed, afterlife crisis is starting to look more apparent.

He compartmentalises and stores it away in a box. He’ll bring it up with his therapist later.

“I’m going to win and then you’ll be sorry you weren’t a part of it because you didn’t let me steal the sun.”

“If you win, I’ll still be glad I didn’t let you.” He climbs back down the ladder, feeling the ache in his muscles reduce with every passing minute.

True to your word, his powers do return a while later.

And while he’s watching Avatar: The Last Airbender with Peter in the living room two days later, his phone beeps with a text.

It’s a picture of a blue first place ribbon next to a toy car that looks like it’s powered by a potato battery. Beside it is an out of focus middle finger that is aimed at him.

Congratulations, he texts back. Told you potato batteries always win.

Your face always wins, he receives in return. He can’t tell if you’re insulting or flirting with him.

He just shuts his phone off and goes back to watching the show.

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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flying-nightwing · 4 years ago

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The Three Words to Remember in Dealing with the End

I’m trying something new y’all, this is a third person POV because I want you to unveil the actions at the same pace as Jason and not MC/reader. I absolutely loved writing this, so hopefully I did it right and you will enjoy this adventure like I did!

ps: this isn’t something fun or light hearted, it might be triggering for some people. if you are in a fragile mindset right now (especially with everything that’s happening right now), maybe it would be best to save it for later. Please take care of yourselves xx

Masterlist in bio/pinned

Pairing: Jason Todd x reader (ish)

Word count: 5060

Warnings: death (major theme), language

Summary: Jason finds something deeply unsettling during a not so typical night in Gotham (I’m not saying more y’all, read and find out).

It had been a strange night for Jason. Things had been quiet, not too quiet to become suspicious, but enough to underwhelm him at an unsettling level. Everything from the gloomy, yellow-ish night sky above him to his tensed muscles screamed trouble--and his instincts were rarely wrong--but there was nothing big happening. He was almost tempted to pick a fight with the wrong person just for the sake of it, just to shake off this nagging feeling that serious shit was about to blow in his face. Although starting beef again with Sionis would be quite entertaining, he wasn’t sure he had the energy to deal with another tantrum from the eccentric man on the longer term.

So instead, he kicked the door from the building’s roof on which he was hanging around and half heartedly climbed down the stairs. Plastic tarps were flapping around in his face like badly designed Halloween ghosts, and the wind in the half constructed walls were whispering unintelligible songs in his ears. That specific construction site had been abandoned as the recurrent vandalism had weighed the construction costs into the negative, making the company leaving it behind completely as a rotting proof the poorer Gotham neighborhoods were no longer a concern to city hall. Jason thought about the community center that had been bulldozed down to make room for the apartment complex, leaving dozens if not hundreds of children and teenagers without an after school hangout place, and it made him sigh. Now the cheap carcass served to shelter squatters, or well, him when he needed a hideout in between safe houses.

The building in itself wasn’t very high like the skyscrapers one could find in the diamond district, it was rather on par with the rest of the apartment complexes around. From a distance, you couldn’t even differentiate it from the rest. Cheap, smog stained concrete looked the same whether or not it was a finished product. The aesthetics wasn’t something developers around here were aiming for, nor were the resident seeking lodging. Low income neighborhoods didn’t get to benefit from trendy landscaping. But the city didn’t really care about that, they claimed nobody really came around here anyway, like poor people weren’t people in the first place. But Jason knew, and every day he resented those officials on the city council a little bit more.

A thud coming from the floor he had just passed made him halt his descent, his ears strained to try and catch some more noise. He waited a few seconds, and concluded it must have been a squatter tripping and falling on the floor when no other sound followed. But he hadn’t taken a full step down that a loud and clear cry for help bounced on the unfinished plaster on the walls. Without much more thinking, he turned around and climbed back up the five steps he had already taken, going straight for the origin of the sound. He was about to round the corner of a threshold when he bumped into a frantic young woman, her eyes wide and terrified.

“Please help!” She cried, gripping the sleeves of his leather jacket like it was a lifeline. She had an angry, scabbed rope mark on her neck and bruises the size of fingerprints around. “Somebody’s after me, he tried to strangle me!”

Well, that was a new one. Usually, there would be little punks making graffiti or trying to steal material from the structure, petty non-violent crimes like that, but he had never seen homicide, especially not since he started coming around. Nevertheless, he gently pushed the woman aside and pulled out his gun, ready to investigate.

“Stay close” He said, and she nodded vigorously. He carefully walked inside the room, analysing his surroundings for any thread or hostile individual. The floor creaked lightly under his boots, making the woman jump every other second. However, his search eventually came up empty, so he clicked the safety of his gun back on and slid it back in his thigh holster. He faced the girl and shrugged. “If there was anyone here, he’s long gone”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah” He replied. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m not sure” She flinched, still visibly. “To either questions, to be honest. All I remember was seeing this blurred figure grab my head and slam it on the floor, then his hands were around my neck… And I woke up, and there we are”

“Do you have any idea who did this?”

“No really” She rubbed her temples. “I was grabbed on my way back from work and dragged in here. I know it was a man, but he was masked”

“Damn” He muttered, looking around. There wasn’t much left to do now, beside making sure that woman got home safely. “Come on, let’s get out of here. Do you have somewhere safe to go?”

“Yeah, I have an apartment a few blocks away” She nodded timidly.

They climbed down the stairs, Jason following a pace behind her. She was recoiled on herself, her eyes darting from one place to another like she was expecting to be jumped at any time now. She was shivering from the harsh wind, clearly not dressed for one of Gotham’s cold September nights. He thought she was lucky to have fallen onto him and not someone with ill intentions. The people coming here usually left each other alone, but with the lady’s assailant on the loose, he wouldn’t be so trusting of everyone’s intentions around here.

“Here, we’re almost out” He said as the front door came into view. She sighed in relief as she took the last step down and closed the distance with the door. She reached for the handle, pulled, but nothing moved. She then tried to push, but it didn’t move any more.

“I-It’s like it’s locked” She stuttered in disbelief.

“Let me try” Jason stepped forward, pushing and pulling the door like she did before. Strange, that door was never, ever locked. He then tried to pick it, even break it, to no avail. The door simply wouldn’t open. He huffed and took a step back, thinking. “Let’s try the backdoor”

The pair moved through the ground floor, passing in front of a few empty sleeping bags on the way. Jason went straight for the small door, only to be met with the same problem.

“Alright, you wanna play this game?” He muttered harshly, pulling out his gun and aiming at the handle. He fired a shot, but the bullet bounced right back on his red helmet. “Son of a bitch!”

He muttered a few more curses before kicking the stubborn door in frustration, then turned to the woman.

“Well, somebody doesn’t want us to leave '' He stated with bitter humour. “Maybe your wannabe killer is still around, after all”

“Oh god” She gasped, her chest suddenly heaving quickly. She was having a panic attack. “We’re trapped. We’re gonna die, aren’t we?”

“Hey, hey” He tried to reassure her, an uncertain hand on her shoulder. “I won’t let him get near you. He certainly didn’t plan on having me around, so he’ll stay away if he knows what’s good for him. We’ll find a way out”

She bent over, hands on her knees, and shut her eyes tight, focusing on her breathing until it somewhat calmed down. She then nodded slowly, standing straighter again. “O-okay”

“You sure?”

She took a deep breath and nodded again.

“Alright…” He drawled out, looking at her for a second more to be sure she was actually okay. “Let’s go around and see if there’s anyone in here tonight, and if they have seen anything”

“Are you sure it’s safe?” She eyed him with uncertainty. “...He could be out there”

“Then it’s his mistake” He shrugged. “Come on”

Like earlier, she followed closely behind him as he checked each floor in detail. He came across a few homeless people he had seen around before, none of which could ever commit murder, or attempt to for that matter. He saw it in their eyes, they were harmless. They had been on the second floor, the only one which seemed inhabited at all that night. The third floor came up empty as well, so Jason didn’t waste time there either. However, he was a little more careful on the fourth. It was where he had found the girl, so there was a slight chance the assaulter might still be hanging around there. He began with the first apartment on the left, then the one on the right he initially searched. He paid specific attention to any detail he might find; hair, cloth, blood splatter, anything. He was crouched over a suspicious stain when he heard it.

A deafening scream.

In less than a second, he was on his feet and through the threshold of an adjacent room, only to come face to face with a decaying corpse. The woman was staring with horror like she was in a trance, a hand covering her mouth to either hold back any more screams or her own vomit. Probably both, Jason thought.

“That definitely complicates things now” He hummed.

“How can you be so calm?” She was freaking out again. “There’s a body! A dead body!”

“Yeah, I know” He replied, unbothered, taking a step closer to observe. The nauseous smell of decomposition was starting to get through his helmet, and he genuinely wondered how she hadn’t barfed her guts up already. Her state of shock perhaps helped to keep her together, at least for now. “Looks like it’s a woman. Probably has been there for two weeks or--fuck this is nasty”

He backed up and gently pulled her out of the room, away from the corpse. She didn’t need to see anymore of it.

“Well, there’s good news and bad news” He sighed. “Bad news is your guy and this poor woman’s killer are most likely the same person. Good news is that you, unlike her, escaped him”

“Oh god” She gagged, but dry heaved on air. “This can’t be happening”

“Okay, listen” He sighed, “I’m sure this is a lot for you, and you didn’t ask for any of this. But the killer is potentially here keeping us trapped, and I need you to hold it together a little bit longer until I figure this out, kay?”

She gave him a wild look like he was crazy. “How can you expect me to hold it together?”

“Is there anything you can focus on?” He tried, getting a bit impatient. Things weren’t adding up in his head and he needed to concentrate, but he couldn’t if his new unwilling investigation partner started freaking out every other minute. Then, he noticed her fingers fidgeting with a necklace around her neck, a small ring with a azur gem hanging from it. “What does that ring mean?”

She looked down at it, like she was surprised she had subconsciously showed it up. “Uh, it was my mother’s. Family heirloom, y’know. She gave it to me when I graduated college”

“It’s very pretty” He said. “Look at it and think about your mother, okay?”

She nodded, and he took a step away to pace around in peace. So there was a killer who managed to trap them into the building, or intended to trap only her, which was why he was hiding away now that Jason was here too. But then again, Marty on the second floor didn’t see or hear anything all night, and that guy had a sharper ear than a cat. Then came the question of why he didn’t see or smell the body on his first general scouting of the place. Surely, a decaying body would have ticked him off way sooner. Maybe the killer dragged the body from a higher floor? It would make no sense as to why he would have done that, but there was no other logical explanation.

He went to rub the bridge of his nose, only to be met with his helmet. He let out another muffled curse and looked at the ceiling in exasperation. “This is the one time I could use one of my stupid brothers”

“Why?”

He let out a dry chuckle. “They’re idiots and annoying as fuck, but they’re better detectives than I could ever be. Solving this nonsense puzzle would be an easy game for them”

“Then what’s stopping you from calling them?”

Jason paused, staring at the woman for a moment. No, it wasn’t that simple. “Last time we spoke, I… We fought pretty bad. I don’t think they ever want to see me again”

“I’m sure--”

“We’re on our own for this, trust me” He interrupted, his tone dry enough to make her recoil. He coughed and relaxed his tense posture, taking a deep breath. “I can solve this, I don’t need them. I’ll go check the body again, stay here”

“Wait!” She called before he could turn around. “What if he comes back?”

He blinked a few times, then began patting his side and pockets. He wouldn’t leave her a gun, or she’d hurt herself in the state she was in, or accidently shoot him for that matter. Nervous firing rarely even found their intended target anyway. A knife was also out of the question for the same reasons. Besides, she didn’t seem skilled enough to hold her own with a blade, and he had no idea what weapons the killer carried. The knife would basically be useless, if not more dangerous for her. He finally felt a small lump in his pant pocket, then fished for it. He pulled a small taser that definitely wasn’t his, remembering he had disarmed it from a goon earlier that night. He had no idea he had kept it, but it would do.

“Here” He held it up to eye level, pressing the button. A blue-ish current was formed, crackling and fizzling. “You hold it out and press the side button to turn it on. Don’t point it at me or yourself. Got it?”

“Uh-- I guess--”

“Great” He pushed the device in her hand and turned on his heels without more ceremonies.

He inhaled deeply and held his breath as he returned to the corpse, thinking about a thousand better ways he could have been spending his Friday night. He crouched next to it, grimacing at the decaying skin that made the victim’s identity barely recognizable. He noticed the dried out hair first, it was the same color as the poor girl on the other side of the wall. The exact same, he could have sworn. The killer must have a very specific m.o. he stuck to. There had been a couple of girls going missing in the last weeks, it must have been one of them. Nobody would think to check here, or rather nobody would bother. He turned his head to the side, coughing as he worked to catch his breath despite the putrid smell. He forced himself to return to his half assed detective work, scanning for any trace of struggle or aggression. The rope the killer used to choke her was still around her neck, but that was nothing Jason could work with as he already knew about the obvious neck fetish that was in play here. He poked the rotten skin with the end of his gun, pushing hair and clothes away to try and find something he could have missed with a first glance. No viable piece of information could be found in the teeth or under the nail since he was about two weeks too late, and he could not make the distinction between decomposition marks and actual contusion marks. Dammit. He had nothing.

He was about to give up when something shiny got his attention on the victim’s chest. There was a chain plunging into the neckline of her shirt, and with his gun he carefully pulled it up. He was certain his brain physically broke in two when he came face to face with a stained, yet recognizable ring with an azur stone.

“What…” He trailed off softly. “... The Fuck”

Thinking about it, the victim’s clothes were awfully similar to what the lady on the other side was wearing, beside the obvious dirtiness difference. He looked over his shoulder, to where she was pacing nervously, then back to the corpse. Same hair, same clothes, same ring. Same approximate size, same bone structure, rope position coinciding with her strangling mark. Jason did not want to be thinking what he was thinking, because only crazy people were seeing ghosts. But was he totally sane? That was debatable. It would explain why they were locked in the building for no goddamn reason, or why Marty didn’t hear anything, or why he did not notice the corpse or the smell during his initial search, or why that lady did not stop once to rethink asking an armed stranger in a red mask for help, or why…

Besides, ghosts would not even make the list of the weirdest things he’s seen. He himself came back from the dead, so the idea wasn’t actually that far fetched. But now, the question he faced was, how do you tell someone they’re dead, when they’re convinced they’re alive? Bruce’s training did not prepare him for that, and honestly neither did Ra’s.

He slowly stood up, trying to scour his brain for a gentle way to break it to her. He couldn't just rip the bandaid off, that would be insensitive. And if she really did control who could get in and out of the building, would sending her into ghost shock--if that was even a thing--risk trapping him here forever as well? How does one even deal with a bloody ghost? Reluctantly, he returned to the other room, where the woman looked at him with hopeful eyes. Jason felt a pinch in his heart, knowing he would be the one to break the news to her.

“Anything?” She asked, her arms wrapping around herself. He gave a sad nod, and she sighed in relief. “Good, I just wanna go home”

“I…” He struggled to find the words. “What’s your name?”

“(Y/N)” She said, uncertain.

Jason was glad his mask hid his expression. His eyes closed as his suspicions were officially confirmed; she had disappeared a little less than three weeks ago without a trace. She had been presumed dead by the GCPD, apparently rightfully so, he found out.

“(Y/N), I have good news and bad news”

She kept staring at him to let him speak. She didn’t seem to grasp the undertone of his words, or how he somehow said it completely differently than the previous time. She really wasn’t aware of her situation.

“Good news is that I found who the victim is” He began, his voice heavy. He wasn’t the type to just get emotional for strangers like this, but this one especially struck a chord in him. “Bad news is… You’re--you’re not going home, (Y/N)”

Her face fell. “W-What?”

“The… Body, on the other side” He half heartedly pointed behind him. “It’s you. You went missing three weeks ago, and you’re...”

“That’s crazy!” She shrieked. “That’s impossible! I’m here, I’m right here, I’m real…”

Her voice faltered at the end, like she was starting to doubt herself. Jason softly jerked his head to the other room, silently making his way back to the corpse with her carefully following behind. He stopped and crouched like he had done minutes ago, and in the same way, lifted the ring. Something clicked in her face, a newfound horror etching on her features. This time, it wasn’t because she found a corpse, but because she found out the corpse was hers.

“No…” She stumbled back, and Jason hurried to steady her. He didn’t know if it was necessary, since she probably couldn’t even feel physical pain anymore, but it seemed like the right thing to do. He escorted her out of the room once again and waited beside her as her entire reality came crashing down. It felt surreal for him, he couldn’t even imagine what it was like for her. He let her slide down the wall and rest her head in her hands as she processed all of this. “I can’t be… My family, they must be worried sick”

“I’m sorry, (Y/N)” He sighed, sliding down next to her.

“But I’m--” She tried to argue, then a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m not ready to go”

He took off his mask for the first time, ruffling his hair in the process. The least he could do was to give her a human face as the last she would ever see. “Take all the time you need, I’ve got nowhere else to be”

She eyed him with confusion, at both the removal of his mask and his words. “Why?”

He smiled sadly at her. “I don’t think you should be alone right now. I’m Jason, nice to formally meet you”

“I don’t think it matters now” She mumbled, casting her glance downward. She handed him back the small taser, realizing she wouldn't need it anymore. “I’m dead. I don’t even know how I’m even still here, or where I’m even going. I don’t understand anything--”

“You don’t have to,” He interrupted softly. “It’s okay not to understand. And it’s okay to be afraid. But death is a part of life, and despite how scary it might be when it rings at your door, sometimes it’s better not to fight it”

“Easy to say for someone who is still alive” She said, making his lips subtly curl up. At least she was calming down now.

“I died years ago” He admitted, and her eyes widened comically. “No, I’m not a ghost if that’s what you’re wondering. I was resurrected through magic… But I know what it feels like”

“How did you die?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

Jason hesitated. He wasn’t used to talking about this, but he figured he could at least vent to a ghost. It might even make her feel better about the circumstances of her death, he thought. “I died in an explosion” He finally revealed as he looked away. “I realized I was dead when the countdown reached two seconds and nobody came for me. Two seconds isn’t a long time to come to term with the end of your own existence, and everything that comes after”

“I suppose not” She sighed. “I guess I’m lucky I have time to figure it out. What’s it like, on the other side?”

“I honestly can’t really remember” He shook his head. “My memory from the moment I closed my eyes to when I reopened them is scrambled. And even if I did recall, it might be different from you”

“You think so?”

“I hope so”

He did not elaborate on that, and she did not ask. Jason wasn’t sure whether his visions of hell were from his time in the grave, or if the pit messed with his perspective, but he certainly hoped this girl wouldn’t have to go through something similar as well. They waited in silence for a moment as neither felt the need to speak up. He respected her need to have a moment to herself to absorb all this like he had wished he could have had. He had never felt as vulnerable as when he waited, helpless and unable to move, for the bomb to go off. He had been terrified, clinging to a last hope it was just a nightmare, or that help would have swept in at the last second like it always happened in the movies. He had been truly alone then. Perhaps it was why she had found him earlier, she felt his connection to death and his ability to relate. She seeked one last ray of warmth before disappearing, one last attempt not to be forgotten by reaching out to someone with the best chance to understand her. He doubted it was a coincidence he was the one she let help her.

“You didn’t have to stay with me…” She spoke up. It could have been ten minutes or more, Jason couldn’t tell. He had been in his head the whole time. “But you did, for what it’s worth. Thank you, Jason”

“You’re welcome, I guess” He half shrugged. “It’s… It’s just things I wish had been said to me in my last moments, comfort I wish had been brought to me when it was time to go. I’m glad it helped ease this transition for you”

She gave him a small smile and placed a hand on his shoulder. He could feel her unnatural cold radiating on him, see the bleakness of her skin and the absence or a steady rise and fall of her chest now that he was up close.

“Well, I’m glad you found me” She muttered, letting her hand fall back down to her side. “I… I think I’m ready to go. But before, could you do me a last favor?

“Sure” He nodded.

“Could you bring back my necklace to my mother?” She asked, staring straight into his eyes. And probably his soul, by the looks of it. “This case might never be solved, I don’t want it to be lost in an evidence bag”

He was initially surprised by the request, but it made sense. This would be the last thing her mother would have of her daughter, and it didn’t belong in a locker kept away forever. He nodded. “I can do that”

“Thank you” She gave him the first real smile he had seen on her face. Her eyes had lost the life in them, that was obvious, but there was this peacefulness that hadn’t been there before. Her resolve to accept her faith showed more and more in her expression, and it was steadily becoming clearer she did not belong to this plane of existence anymore. Two weeks trapped in between life and death without being heard or seen must have been so exhausting, and now she was ready to let go. “Just one more thing”

Jason furrowed his eyebrows at her sudden knowing expression. He could see it clearly despite her image slowly fading away. Was she even aware of it? He didn’t know, but it didn’t seem painful. He hoped it wasn’t, she deserved an undisturbed rest for what had been done to her in this life.

“A piece of unwanted advice from a dead girl?” Her tone was a bit playful. He let out a quiet chuckle, his shoulders barely raising. “Call your brothers”

She became serious, and so did he.

“The worst thing about this, is that I left this life without even being able to say proper goodbyes to my family” She explained. “I wish more than anything I could just see them one more time to tell them I love them, but I can’t. Don’t take for granted there will always be a later for it, because there might not be”

“I…”

“Please, for me” She said, almost entirely faded now. “I hope I see you again one day, Jason. Thank you for everything”

And then she was gone. Jason stared at the empty space beside him, like there had never been anyone there. The cold spot was gone, and with it the last image of her smiling face. The smell of the corpse returned at full strength now that she wasn’t there to manipulate the surroundings, but he couldn’t be bothered by it as much as he was before. He found himself unable to tear his eyes away from where she had been seconds ago, struggling to tell whether or not it had actually happened. But it must have, the entire experience had felt way too real to be a product of his imagination, and the dead body served as a material proof his head didn’t conjure it all up. Slowly, he stood up and went back to the body for one last time. He’d have to place an anonymous call to the police to tip them to the body tomorrow, after giving a heads up to the squatters to steer clear of the building until the situation died down. He bent down and only took the necklace without disturbing anything else, slipping it in a pocket for safe keeping. He’d also have to find a way to give it back to her mother without making it seem like he had killed the girl…

With one last silent goodbye to a new found yet ephemeral friend, Jason made his way down to the first floor, his step a little slower and heavier than last time. The first light of the morning peeked shyly through the sky of Gotham as the clouds appeared clear up, like it was their way of reflecting the peaceful passing of a soul on the other side. He never believed in symbolism in nature, but this once, just this once, he could make an exception. He reached the bottom of the stairs and carefully made his way to the main doors, pausing in front of it. The birds in the walls didn’t seem to mind him as they sang the arrival of the morning, and he put back his mask to face the outside once again. He gripped the door handle, pushing even so slightly.

It opened with a groan.

Sighing, he stepped outside and fished for his phone in his back pocket. He went to his contacts, scrolling down until he found the name he was looking for. Reluctantly, he pressed it and came face to face with the taunting call icon. Surely he would still be awake, his patrol would have ended not too long ago. Or he’d be asleep, and then he’d disturb him. Hesitating, his thumb hovered above the lock screen button, then over the call one, then again, the lock screen. He let out a frustrated huff, looking at the sky. There might not be a later… Or perhaps there will. But was he ready to take that chance? He looked at his phone again, taking a deep breath and making his decision.

As the first sun ray reflected his helmet, he called Dick Grayson for the first time in years.

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osleyakomwonkru · 5 years ago

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The Octavia Blake Guide to Surviving Lockdown (and What Comes Next)

So it’s been six weeks in isolation. I think? Time has long since become irrelevant. The world is stressed. I’m stressed. Not so much about the coronavirus itself, but everything else surrounding the situation. The isolation. The uncertainty. Society losing its shit. What the world will look like when it is all over, because everything will change whether we want it to or not.

You know, all that fun stuff our favourite characters on The 100 deal with each episode.

Which brings me to this post. What Would Octavia Blake Do?

I mean, she’s got the experience. Sixteen years of isolation in a single room, followed by a year of isolation in another room, then about six months on the ground, followed by six years locked under the ground... she knows better than anyone how to survive these sorts of trying times.

So here we have it - famous Octavia quotes and how to apply them to our current situation. Mostly serious, part irreverent, all of it a homage to the fact that stories matter and can help us figure out how to deal with this messy thing called life.

“A warrior doesn’t worry about what she can’t control.”

This is a mantra I repeat to myself many times a day. Sometimes I believe it. It’s hard. But it really is the only way to keep yourself sane these days. The world has turned upside down, but you can’t control it. You can only control yourself.

I can’t control that 75% of my income earning potential vanished overnight. I can control how I budget the remaining 25%, credit cards and looking into new income streams.

I can’t control that I’m stuck in a country I was supposed to leave this week for however long this continues to go on. I can try and learn to love it again, because we’re going to be spending more time together.

So what else can I do to keep myself healthy and sane? Let’s look at what Octavia does.

Train. One of the first things I started doing as soon as the lockdown started in mid-March was set up an exercise plan. Now, I don’t typically “exercise” in my normal life. I just walk everywhere I need to go and call that good enough. But now that I’m not really doing that, I have to find a way to do so indoors. I started out with three half-hour Zumba sessions per day, and now I’ve worked my way into more specific and targeted workout sessions. YouTube is a godsend. Every type of exercise you could think of, in any time length you want, you can find there. I’m doing abs, arms, more squats than I’ve ever done in my life, kickboxing, etc.

Read. See all those books on your shelves collecting dust? Yeah, read them now. I haven’t been following this advice as much as I should, but I’m making an effort to get better. I have so many unread books and I really should read them. If you’re one of those strange people who don’t have unread books, embrace the opportunities that sites like Project Gutenberg provide and read all the classics online for free. Octavia loves the classics.

Eat healthy. I hadn’t eaten at home for six months before this all started, so I had to refill my pantry and remember how to cook. Keeping your body healthy is important. Get your fruits and vegetables. Also ensure a protein source. Don’t go full on prepper, don’t hoard, but if shit hits the fan and you want to avoid the Dark Year happening in real life, make sure you have a few jars of peanut butter and/or a few packs of beef jerky stashed away for a rainy day. Your neighbours will thank you.

“Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.” (Get knocked down, get back up)

At the beginning of this year, no one could have predicted what the state of the world is right now. People made plans. People started putting their plans into action.

Enter coronavirus.

Everything changes.

I actually had a plan for this year. I was going to leave here this week, go back to Canada for six months, then move to Spain. Well... I don’t know what’s going to happen now. And because of the uncertainty, I can’t know. This has made me so mad, because for the first time in years I had a strategy for the changes I wanted to make in my life, and now they’d all been shot to sunshine.

Some days you have to just scream. (Or cry and spend the day eating quesadillas in a blanket fort. True story.) But then after that happens, you have to brush yourself off, get up again and keep going.

Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.

I’m not making any plans further than today. I know that’s an exercise in futility right now. All I can do is focus on what I can control (see above point) and continue to focus on that and what I can do for myself until there are things that I can do in the world again.

Moral of the story: Yes, there are going to be shitty days. You’ve probably already had a bunch of them. But you have to pick yourself up again and keep going when they’re over. You might feel like you want to give up. Heaven knows Octavia’s felt like that a lot of times. But she still kept going. If she stubbornly fought through a cliff dive with a stab wound and a quicksand pool of Orbeez, we can handle some uncertainty and delayed life plans.

“The sword doesn’t care what you meant, it just cuts.”

Time to step onto a soapbox for a bit.

Some world leaders and governments have done admirably with dealing with this crisis. Some have done okay. Some have done so fucking awful at their jobs and continue to spout nonsense from their podiums that it is going to cause real people to die. (Not naming any names, but I’m sure you know what I mean.)

Octavia is the only character on this show who understands that when you’re in a tough situation, what your intentions are doesn’t matter, it is only the results that do. This is applicable to our situation today in a twofold manner.

Point One: We can only control our own actions. That means being a responsible citizen, following public health guidelines. Stay home. If you have to go out, practice social distancing and any other recommendations set out by your public health authority. You might say you’re young and healthy, you’re not concerned about if you get the virus, but it is not about you. You could be asymptomatic and not know it. You might not mean to get someone else sick - someone who is more vulnerable - but it could still happen if you don’t behave responsibly. So take ownership of your actions and do what you can to minimize the spread.

Which brings us to Point Two: You can’t control other’s actions, but you can hold them accountable for them. Which in this situation mostly means your country’s leaders. Do not forget how they responded to this crisis. Remember. Remember when it is time to vote. Did they do a good job or did they do a bad job? How many people lived or died because of what they said? Did they follow the advice of medical experts? And so on. This isn’t a time for party politics, this is a time for “can we rely on this leader to do what’s right for the people of this country when we’re in a crisis?” If the answer is no, vote for somebody else.

The same applies to non-governmental leaders - leaders of business and charities and everything else that you can think of. Remember who stepped up and helped people when and how they needed it. Remember who didn’t. Remember who actively made lives worse. Budget your money accordingly.

“Kom folau oso na gyon op.” (From the ashes we will rise)

This will pass.

When, we don’t know. How, we don’t know. But all we can do is work on ourselves and make ourselves as strong as we can for whatever the future brings us.

Some people are optimists, believing that this will usher in a new world where more people understand the challenges that others have always faced with things like mental health or physical disabilities and issues of accessibility and so on. Where more people will be aware of the dangers of climate change. Where people who are now coming together online and building hope and change will continue to do so in person when we can leave our homes and meet up with others again.

Some people are pessimists, believing the world will collapse and we’ll enter into a post-apocalyptic scenario like The 100 or any of the other dozens of post-apocalyptic media offerings out there. Where it’ll be every person for themselves and panic and destruction will reign supreme.

You don’t have to speculate on the different scenarios. That’s not helpful right now. All you can do is work on yourself and make yourself ready for whatever the future will throw at us, and do your part in making a positive one.

This could be the point of lockdown where you’re starting to move out of the panic phase of ensuring survival, and are able to move into higher-level brain function again. If you’re not, that’s okay, it could still take some time. If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are people out there who can help. Just remember that this is a process, a process of so many different emotions, sometimes on a loop, sometimes all at once in a flurry of chaos, and that’s okay.

Take care of yourself. Survive. Find a new normal.

Octavia’s journey in season six was about shedding the pain and trauma of her old life, and finding a new one to believe in. Until she did that, she didn’t have to worry about the greater plot nonsense that was going on. That’s our journey now too. The world is changing. How, we don’t know yet. But take this time to make yourself strong for whatever is to come, because whichever scenario wins out, a strong you will always be beneficial.

Ste yuj. (Stay strong.) Because humanity is resilient. And from the ashes, we will rise.

#the 100 #coronavirus #covid-19 #octavia blake #kali talks real world shit #fandom matters #stories help you relate to the world and make sense of it #that's why stories exist

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pghroads · 5 years ago

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The Beechwood Bumps

So it's been a while! After I covered most of the main problems that bug me that were created over the last 100 years, the city/state didn't really do anything especially crazy. Until... The Beechwood Bumps™.

Even though our city has a million fundamental problems with its infrastructure that cause constant gridlock it seems to have turned it's sights in recent years to speeding. I suspect the approach is something like:

1. Get a 311 call from one or more citizens

2. Do a traffic study of said area

3. Implement some solution

This is probably happening all over, but there were two notable projects near where I live in Squirrel Hill.

First - on Dallas Ave, the city added basically "wiggle poles" in the middle of the street designed to slow down traffic.

There are of course two things that make these weird

1. It's on the uphill, where people already go slower

2. It diverts traffic right into the area where a cyclist would be, huffing and puffing up the hill.

Finally, they make it quite difficult to turn out of the cross streets with large vehicles, and are easily avoided by people who don't care about lines/laws anyway. Given the random placement of these I’d bet $100 they got a 311 complaint from someone living on Dallas by Northumberland and Woodwell.

But this post isn't about that - that was just foreshadowing for arguably the most controversial traffic calming project the city has ever implemented, The Beechwood Bumps™. For this I went beyond my normal lazing ranting, and did some "deep investigation" to understand how this happened.

What am I talking about? Well, if you haven't been on Beechwood Blvd by the Frick Environmental Center, one day the city added a series of four very large speed humps. The humps slow traffic from the speed limit of 25 to 15, and have cuts in them for cyclists.

These humps are unusual for a couple of reasons - first, even though I've driven over 400,000 miles in my life all over the world, I've never seen speed humps in a through road. They are always on private roads, side roads, cul de sacs etc... This is partly because speed humps on through streets slow emergency vehicles trying to get to where they need to be. Even more odd, these particular speed humps slow you to BELOW the speed limit. Third, the cuts in the speed humps allow people to partially avoid them (at the expense of cyclists), and Fourth - before the speed humps I never really considered this a dangerous speeding area, in fact I usually take this road over Shady Ave because it is a slow rolling, relaxing drive with no road rage.

That brings us to the history of Beechwood Blvd. Beechwood Blvd is a curving scenic road between Schenley Park and Frick Park that was built right at the dawn of the automobile specifically for the purpose of giving these new car owners a place to go for scenic drives - the curves, etc.. are part of the design - it wasn't made for thru traffic as much as just a fun road to drive on. Of course as the Squirrel Hill area built up, it's now almost entirely lined by residential housing, and the original road has been somewhat chunked up. Nevertheless Beechwood is still a delightful place for a convertible, motorcycle or bike ride.

Then the speed humps came - and road rage followed. People who use Beechwood to commute seem to have a visceral negative reaction to the speed humps, using the bike cuts to avoid it. Where before I never experienced any road rage - now I get people furiously going around the speed hump and riding my bumper. Or you get people that practically stop at the speed humps. Then there is the grey area - police were pulling people over for going into the bike lane to avoid the speed hump, but what rules affect motorcycles, can I use the bike cut or do I need to pop a wheelie over the hump? The rage isn't just on the road - people took their arguments to NextDoor and Twitter and evidently there is a new public hearing on this due to the outrage (which i cannot find despite my searching, more on this later...). It's certainly made it a less relaxing road to drive on for a number of reasons.

My main beef is the arbitrary nature of the speed humps - why the single stretch of Beechwood by the low populated Shaw Ave and Darlington Rd? Especially when the Frick Environmental Center and an Elementary School are right near there, but no speed humps installed by those sites. So I really wanted to dig into this - was it some councilperson or big donor’s front yard? Why speed humps? Why here and not the many other side streets that could use them.

Well - I did a "Right to Know" request (similar to FOIA) around the project after Dan Gilman was responding to wrath of citizens on Twitter. He mentioned there was a traffic study so I figured sure, let's see this.

From what I could gather in my digging this project happened like this:

1. Between 1-6 citizens complained about speeding by the Frick Environmental Center (the city won't release details on citizen complaints but anecdotally i figured out someone I knew was one of these complaints - so there are indeed real citizens behind this).

2. A traffic study specifically centered on the Frick Environmental Center was commissioned

3. Funding for some of the solutions proposed in the study was secured

4. A public meeting was held around the topic

5. Something roughly 35% of the suggested plan happened

So what does the traffic study say? It seems like they put speed monitors on the north and south end of the Frick Environmental Center, and found an average speed of 33.2 and 33 in a 25 mph zone.

33 in a 25.

Otherwise known as basically the speed all traffic goes in most 25 mph zones everywhere (although shoutout the to record setters they found that got to 61 mph).

Okay... so the speeding doesn't seem that bad. I would guess the average speed in the 25 mph Homestead Grays / High Level bridge is 48mph, so why speed humps here?

Well - they sent a physical crew out as well, and "observed" that people were hesitant to cross the street at the Environmental Center, and that is basically impossible for people coming from Dallas to get there (oh boy do I know this). So they suggested putting in crosswalks and fixing the Dallas area so it has sidewalks (currently it has a gap). It's also worth nothing the only stretch that was slower was to an avg of 29 mph between Darlington and Shaw. This make sense because the 90 degree turn in the road naturally slows people down.

They also said "look the road is wide, which encourages people to speed", and there were 18 crashes over a 5 year period which resulted in a total of one pedestrian injury, and no major injuries of any crash.

So let's lay out the facts:

1. One to six people complained about the area

2. The study found people go basically the speed they go on all other roads in the city

3. No pedestrian has ever been hurt seriously in the area, and there is average of 3 accidents per year (in a section larger than the study area)

4. A public meeting was announced where only a handful of people attended (I believe the way it was marketed contributed to very low awareness)

5. A plan was implemented which only partially addressed the recommendations

One particular piece of number five was that the original study was around getting access to the environmental center - and the suggested calming was for the north and south sides of the center. However the north side was never installed, and instead humps were put near Darlington down the street (where the speeds were slower already) - why? I reached out to a city engineer involved in the project and it turns out a speed hump on the north side of the FEC would affect the Great Race, so since they had the funds they put it at Darlington because they also felt it was hard for people coming off Darlington to get onto Beechwood - but take a look how many people that affects, around 12.

So I'm still not clear why the city decided to put speed humps here - it seems like they took the concerns of a few people over the 6,000 cars who drive this stretch every day.

What's the problem you might say - people should slow down! Okay - well why not put speed humps on every single stretch of every road in Pittsburgh? Clearly that would be ridiculous. Why this part? Maybe the city has a list of all of the major speed danger areas in the cities and is rolling out a ton of these, but I live right near this area and it wouldn't even have made my top 10.

I personally believe these speed humps should be removed - through roads should not have speed humps. These are not major crossing areas for pedestrians - there seemed to be no study of the potential number of pedestrians that would be impacted. Even with the speed humps, I've still never seen someone crossing here.

It would be great if the city had a public record of total complaints of various areas to create transparency here. I have a hard time believing this is the number one problem area - people FLY down Ayelsboro, which is not meant as a through street, thanks to Google Maps. People FLY down many of our other roads including Wilkins, etc... The solution can't be to put speed humps everywhere.

UPDATE - wow right before I posted this the city doubled down on this madness and added more poles leading up to the humps, that require you to slow down and slalom, creating a totally ugly mess of this once beautiful, scenic road. I think they might have done this because the speed hump crossing isn’t at the actual pedestrian crossing for some reason? (Measure twice, build a speed thing once?) The city has to be trolling us now, right?

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keeperofsparks · 5 years ago

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Toxic Twitter/The disturbing cult like mind set of the far left

So after joining the great migration to Twitter due to the NSFW ban, I’ve decided to crawl back here due to how toxic, hypocritical, and self righteous, cult like mindset the far left on Twitter has. Due to how dismal the site was I’m writing this post as a warning to any young liberals, LGBTQ, POC, and in general any one else who comes across this post, please be careful with who you group your self with. This is going to be a fairly sizable and do keep in mind this isn’t a “Well being a conservative is better” post, cause those people got some issues as well.

To begin with, let’s talk about how many of the far left Twitter users get people to join their cause and how they keep people from leaving due to differing ideas. During my time there I saw a lot of vulnerable people joining due in part to how vocal the far left can be. There was always a post or thread about how certain groups are persecuted due to a variety of reasons. The vocal group will then sugar coat their approach and make it seem like they wouldn’t do those types of things and would protect them if the individual joins them. It might sound like a safe haven, but the person has now ended up in an abusive relationship and the once warm embrace will inevitably grow cold if they don’t agree with the vocal group. Yes, these vocal groups encourage some very deplorable thing and encourage these newbies to do the same. They’ll then use those same tactics on an individual in their group if they disagree with and they use that fear of being turned on as way to keep these newer people and to silence them in the process. It’s a very hypocritical approach even though the shout how they are a safe place and the world is out to get them.

Now speaking of hypocrisy, in the two or so years that’s I was actively on Twitter, there was plenty of it along with double thought. These individuals state how righteous they are but will find a excuse or shield to get away with doing what their “enemies” are doing. Caught stealing? It’s a trans issue. Drive a person to suicide? That’s a gender issue. They consider them self morally supior and insist that they should not be held held accountable for their actions. If you bring up that’s some of the same tactics used by overly religious folk and hate groups, they’ll attempt to tear you limb from limb. They have no issue with using what ever or who ever as long as it can push them forward.

Probably the most used group to push their agenda is anyone who is a minority, though specifically the majority minority. The most sickening thing I saw on twitter was that the far left basically had a tier list for races and will use it if said minority does agree. “Your voice doesn’t count, cause your Asian there for one of the smallest minorities.” “Well you’re mixed ethnicity, so of course you’d agree with that idea because your half white.” Those were some of the common sentence spoken when it came to minorities disagreeing with the far left. There even were a few articles written to try and say “Asians are actually whites” as for what ever reason despite the far left claiming they support racial equality but at the same time not a too subtle beef with people of Asian decent. Now the black community might have it the worse as they are sort of seen as a meal ticket. They’ll constantly act like any black success story is a fluke, they act like the black community doesn’t have a voice so they must speak for them, they fetishise the black community to the point where they stereotype them. I’ve seen several of these people say stuff like “They don’t sound black enough.” “If you use anything other than curly hair or afro like styles then your racist.” “Black people cant have these body features.” On top of it they’ll go after cultures that don’t share similar histories to America and call those cultures backwards, Japan is usually the one constantly getting the most heat. A bit more disturbing is they view that any race with darker skin must be black. These people are pretty much race profiteers, as long as they can use the suffering of others they’ll still be relevant. Though the past examples are very hair raising, I think it’s the lack of solidarity is what is the scariest.

The past month after the death of George Floyd is where I saw many of the above issues played their hardest and they only way I can explain why all these things are happening is due to a lack of a solidarity. As the protests moved forward “We” became “Me” and they still argued that it was a “We” issue. The issue of police brutality quickly spiraled into a bunch of smaller issues and diluting the large issue. There were so many tweets stating that we should cancel voice acting, how it actually a trans issue, oh it’s a go sign to start creating anarchy and look stores, let’s look at how problematic other people are, fuck every white person, people and organization can’t change, let’s STAN these companies and their thinly veiled use of this tragedy to boost profits or to get in the spot light again, the list goes on and on and on and it goes back to my first point, if you don’t agree with all of these you’ll be torn apart. It’s this sad sort of mentality of “We’re making the world a better place while not putting in a lot of effort. Please ignore the trail of bodies that we made.”

Now I can go into more details like how the character limit prevents expressing complex ideas and make it easier for cancel culture to thrive or how they bend fiction into fact, but I honestly think that the above points are why people should avoid Twitter altogether. It brutal if you don’t agree with them and if you do agree with them you’re bound to loose a limb when you do disagree with them or completely loose individual thought and become a puppet. What scares me even more if that what I saw was probably just the surface level toxicity and it’s even worse the deeper you go in. Please be safe out there and be careful of those who say “Everything will be fine once you join us, we’ll take care of you.”

#Twitter #the toxic far left #stay safe #Don't give into hate #beware #soapbox

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imchick · 5 years ago

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November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤

Okay! Hard part is over! 😛 I don’t really like being the center of attention and all. You might say it’s the same since everyone will still be looking at us the entire time. But, with the other half, the reception — people are more relaxed. Everyone will be dancing, talking to each other, singing and eating their hearts out! So, less judging and critical eyes on us. 😀

Our Reception was held at Aquila Crystal Palace. It’s about 30 – 40 minutes from our Ceremony. We had time to relax and just talk to each other in the car on the way there. Mind you, we were still with our bride & groom assistants.

To give you a preview – here’s what it looked like. ❤

BUT BUT BUT! Before we get to that, let’s go back to the start. Shall we? While we were taking our post-nup pictorial, we prepared welcome snacks and drinks for our guests!

Our supplier for this Gabrielle’s Appetizer. We prepared 200 mini sandwiches (cucumber & kani, chicken salad, tuna salad, egg & bacon), 150 mini burgers (chicken and beef), 200 crostinis (gorgonzola bacon, goat cheese & fig ham, prosciutto & brie, smoked salmon) and 2 gallons of cucumber lemonade

I’m so happy to be hearing good feedback from our guests! Their favorites? the mini burgers! But before they can eat, they will pass by our Signages!

I’m proud to say that I designed all the layouts, with the help of my husband, of course. ❤ We decided to maintain the theme of our invitation – White Marble is such a classic and classy design. Aside from the welcome signage, I wanted to add a little extra! – An Infographic of our love story. ❤

While others are eating or taking a photo in our photobooth, we also prepared some games before everything starts!

I personally created a Word Search Game with Startbucks GC for their prizes! I devised a personalized puzzle with words that have roles or connected to our relationship. For instance – Management Trainee (we were both Management Trainees in a bank. This is how we met) 😀 Everything is so much more special when it is personalized. Do you agree?

Before they officially enter the reception area, I also insisted that I wanted a signage for their Seating Arrangement:

I’m definitely proud of this! I’m a huge, huge fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S! I insisted to insert the friends theme in our seating arrangement! The heading is The One Where We got Married (just like how all their titles are worded). ❤ I also named our tables with all the memorable lines / quirks of the series such as Pivot, Big Fat Goalie, How you Doin and etc.

I also asked our host to ask our guests whether they know what theme our seating arrangement is. I prepared a FRIENDS themed prize also, which I bought online (a Friends Door Keychain).

The One thing that will welcome our guests upon entering the place is our Animated Monogram.

At first, I wanted a White Background with Gold font for our names. But our coordinator pointed out that I may not be seen if the background is also white. 😛 So, we decided to switch to Dark Green, still in line with our theme. ❤

Okay! So when we arrived at the scene, it’s time for our make-up retouch and time to fill our stomach with the incredible feast we chose for our guest. ❤ It was really delicious. While we were having our early dinner, there’s another game inside the reception: TRIVIA GAME where we gave out bags of chocolates for every correct answer. Some of the questions were: First movie together, Who said I love you first, Term of Enderament, Favorite Series Marathon food. (Some of the answers to the questions were posted in our Infographic) 😀 Clever. Huh?

Initally, we wanted the Fireworks at the end of the program. But we were also hesitant to schedule it after since it was Sunday and our guests might leave early.

Proven! Guests really do enjoy the fireworks! It also elevates your event! ❤ After the fireworks, guests were asked to return to their seats for the Grand Entrance. 😛

Our Bridal Squad were introduced in the tune of Dura by Daddy Yankee. while our Groom Squad danced to Boneless by Steve Aoki.

As you can see, our male squad is definitely more coordinated with Matt Stefanina dance moves. Hence, they won the challenge of who’s better. 😛

Followed by the entrance of our esteemed entourage, our Prenup / Save the Date Video was shown to all of our guests.

And our Grand Entrance in the tune of Good Life by One Republic, inspired by our Wedding Hashtag of #itsJANNAbeaJUDElife transalated as It’s gonna be a good life.

TIP: Please please be witty enough to think of your own wedding hashtags! One, it’s simply fun. Two, it will encourage your guests to use your hashtag. Three, you’ll have an easier time in collating pictures and videos related to your event if it’s clear that YOU are the only ones using it instead of #JudeandJannaforever or #JudeandJanna2019. Maximize the power of hashtag!

For our Grand Entrance, we decided to use our Indoor Fireworks (which is not shown in the photo) plus this heart shaped confetti free of charge from our Coordinator. ❤

Followed quickly by our entrance, we gave a bit of our opening remarks to our family, friends and loved ones who celebrated with us.

Our first ever dance as a married couple is in the tune of Say you won’t let go by James Arthur. 🙂 This is also the song I was singing to when he proposed. ❤ This song is really special. ❤ Again, there were Indoor Fireworks and confetti as well.

Wedding Traditions followed such as Cake Cutting and Wine Toasting!

Our 3 tier carrot cake is designed with pure white with gold highlights with huge floral appliques. It’s so good! I’m actually sad that we forgot that it was in our ref.

The wine that we toasted is free from our package with Aquila Crystal Palace. If I remember it correctly, it was not hard because I finished it instantly. ❤

My sister, one of the Matrons of Honor started the speech followed by my Brother in law and finally, my Best friend ended the speeches by inviting everyone to offer a toast for our marriage. ❤

After the long speeches, it’s time for the most awaited time of our guests! Dinner time. ❤ The cousins of my groom, Seth and Yohan led the prayer.

While the guests were eating or in line to get their food, some of the music that we chose to be played are the following: The way you look tonight, Collide, The last time, if I ain’t got you, Everything, Perfect and Close to you among others.

Well, you know how this goes already. . . . . before they can even line up to the buffet, they all have to take a picture with us. ❤ Here are some of them.

While eating, another batch of Speeches coming from our Principal Sponsors.

Principal Sponsor speeches! We had to choose one from each of our side. My God mother, sister of my father gave a speech while it was a Family friend from the Groom’s side. After the speeches, a couple of games again — which is the second best game! Minute to Win It – Wedding edition. ❤

So we filmed a one time, one shot games of: Segregate it, Pingpong Ball, Shoot the Ball etc. Each table have to guess who won whether it’s the Bride and the Groom! Everyone turned out to be competitive at this part. ❤

After an interactive game, it’s the Parent Dances!

We decided to dance simultaneously to the tune of You are so Beautiful by Joe Cocker. 😀 I was scaring my dad and reminding him of their speech! 😛 while I think my mother in law is having the best time dancing with his son. ❤

After a bit serious of dances, it’s fuckin time for another game! Another game? We can never miss out on Single’s Game! To get the suspicion out of their minds, our host called them like they are about to receive a prize.

Men are lined up in front – a music is played and whoever dances the right move first gets to seat down! The following music were played – Watch me whip, Soulja Boy, Teach me How to Dougie, Gangnam, Level Up, Stayin Alive, Thriller and Can’t Touch this.

Then whoever doesn’t dance, will remain in front and the ladies will start searching for the safety pin. The lady who doesn’t find a single pin, loses. ❤

The losers of both games, or rather the last man and woman standing wins a Starbucks GC which they can use to go on their ‘date’ – a little matchmaker doesn’t lose its touch on weddings!

It’s my husband’s colleague and one of my closes high school friend! ❤ And after this fun game, our host now calls on both of our parent’s for the wise words.

It’s the Welcome to the Family speech! It’s such a cliche but really overwhelming. It warms your heart, right? I felt really happy to hear it goes both ways. ❤ I have no better way of saying this but it felt really good.

Before the night is over, we prepared some awards to be given to our guests.

Cool Tito Award (right picture) and Fab Tita Award where we award the Best Dressed one – we gave them Wine and a Tefal Pan. ❤ We also awarded Dressed to Kill (Upper Right) for the Best Dressed Millenial and we gave them a 6-pack beers and a Make Up Kit. Lastly, we gave out a Grand Prize (Lower Right) for the best picture and handed them a powerbank.

Then we played our On Site Photo and our Save the Date Video. ❤

Look at our faces!! ❤ Our Photo Team is led by TJ of Timoteo Photo and our SDE was created by Mac by Stories by Supermac! Extremely in awe, hearts bursting with joy and overwhelmed with gratitude and love. ❤

Before our night ends, we said our Thank yous and invited them for a night full of dancing and drinking!

Look at our ceiling treatment filled with an all white embellishments and gold highlights and black draping to make our ceiling pop out! ❤

The night ends as mentioned, with drinking and dancing! ❤ ❤ ❤

Our last picture before our guests go back to Manila! First up, my colleagues!

My brother and his girlfriend before they fled out of the scene. 😛 Haha. Next? Our Wedding Buddies, one week apart and now, we’re all married. ❤

I always come in threes, Don’t I? And Of course, My Bestfriends since High School.

It always put a smile on my face when I see my friends from different groups come together like this. 🙂

And before this day ends, I need a picture with my husband. ❤

I love you so much, husband! ❤ ❤ It’s been five months and it’s still the Best Day of My Life. ❤

EVERYDAY: Our Wedding (Reception) November 24, 2019, the most magical day of my life. ❤ Okay! Hard part is over! 😛 I don't really like being the center of attention and all.

#Animated Monogram #Aquila Crystal Palace #bride & breakfast #fireworks #Gabrielle&039;s Appetizer #marriage #Reception #wedding #Wedding Dances #Wedding Games #Wedding Speeches #Wedding Traditions

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years ago

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EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT CONTRACTORS

In big companies software is often designed, implemented, and sold by three separate types of people. Tcl is the scripting language of Unix, and so its size is proportionate to its complexity, and a funnel for peers. By this point everyone knows you should release fast and iterate. Programming languages are for. They don't even know about the stuff they've invested in. But I think there's more going on than this. If you run out of money, you could say either was the cause. Nearly all programmers would rather spend their time writing code and have someone else handle the messy business of extracting money from it. Every programmer must have seen code that some clever person has made marginally shorter by using dubious programming tricks. In one place I worked, we had a big board of dials showing what was happening to our web servers.1 Every designer's ears perk up at the office writes Tenisha Mercer of The Detroit News. There are borderline cases is-5 two elements or one?

I decided to ask the founders of the startups in the e-commerce business back in the 90s, will destroy you if you choose them. It's due to the shape of the problem here is social. In the arts it's obvious how: blow your own glass, edit your own films, stage your own plays. Only in the preceding couple years had the dramatic fall in the cost of customer acquisition. The organic growth guys, sitting in their garage, feel poor and unloved. So the first question to ask about a field is how honest its tests are, because this startup seems the most successful companies. A good deal of that spirit is, fortunately, preserved in macros. The second way to compete with focus is to see what you're making.

But more important, in a hits-driven business, is that source code will look unthreatening. In DC the message seems to be the new way of delivering applications. White. I'm going to risk making one. But looking through windows at dusk in Paris you can see that from the rush of work that's always involved in releasing anything, no matter how much skill and determination you have, the more you stay pointed in the same business. PR coup was a two-part one. It's conversational resourcefulness. We're more confident. That certainly accords with what I see out in the world.2 Treating indentation as significant would eliminate this common source of bugs as well as making programs shorter. Once you take several million dollars of my money, the investors get a great deal of control.

The dream language is beautiful, clean, and terse. It works.3 It could mean an operating system, or a framework built on top of a programming language as the throwaway programs people wrote in it grew larger. I'm not saying it's correct, incidentally, but it seems like a decent hypothesis. The most important kinds of learning happen one project at a time. Instead of starting from companies and working back to the 1960s and 1970s, when it was the scripting language of a popular system.4 Blogger got down to one person, and they have a board majority, they're literally your bosses.5 Unconsciously, everyone expects a startup to fix upon a specific number.6 But as long as you seem to be advancing rapidly, most investors will leave you alone.7 What readability-per-line does mean, to the user encountering the language for others even to hear about it. Users have worried about that since the site was a few months old.8 If it's a subset, you'll have to write it anyway, so in the worst case you won't be wasting your time, but didn't.9

It's exacerbated by the fast pace of startups, which makes it seem like time slows down: I think you've left out just how fun it was: I think the main reason we take the trouble to develop high-level languages is to get leverage, so that we can say and more importantly, think in 10 lines of a high-level language what would require 1000 lines of machine language. Well, that may be fine advice for a bunch of declarations. Trying to make masterpieces in this medium must have seemed to Durer's contemporaries that way that, say, making masterpieces in comics might seem to the average person today. I kept searching for the Cambridge of New York, I was very excited at first. Which was dictated largely by the hardware available in the late 1950s. This comforting illusion may have prevented us from seeing the real problem with Lisp, or at least Common Lisp, some delimiters are reserved for the language, suggesting that at least some of the least excited about it, including even its syntax, and anything you write has, as much as shoes have to be prepared to see the better idea when it arrives. And I was a Reddit user when the opposite happened there, and sitting in a cafe feels different from working. The Detroit News.10

Most founders of failed startups don't quit their day job, is probably an order of magnitude larger than the number who do make it. But the clearest message is that you should be smarter. But hear all the cutting-edge tech and startup news, and run into useful people constantly.11 You won't get to, unless you fail. Running a startup is fun the way a survivalist training course would be fun, and a funnel for peers. It's since grown to around 22,000.12 You may save him from referring to variables in another package, but you need time to get any message through to people that it didn't have to be more readable than a line of Lisp. A rant with a rallying cry as the title takes zero, because people vote it up without even reading it. I'm just stupid, or have worked on some limited subset of applications. This is supposed to be a lot simpler. Whatever a committee decides tends to stay that way, even if it is harder to get from zero to twenty than from twenty to a thousand.13

With two such random linkages in the path between startups and money, it shouldn't be surprising that luck is a big factor in deals. Most of the groups that apply to Y Combinator suffer from a common problem: choosing a small, obscure niche in the hope of unloading them before they tank. A programming language does need a good implementation, of course. Look at how much any popular language has changed during its life. With a startup, I had bought the hype of the startup world, startup founders get no respect. A real hacker's language will always have a slightly raffish character.14 The eminent feel like everyone wants to take a long detour to get where you wanted to go. But there is a trick you could use the two ideas interchangeably. Their reporters do go out and get users, though. A throwaway program is brevity. I do that the main purpose of a language is readability, not succinctness.15 You can't build things users like without understanding them.

At the moment I'd almost say that a language isn't judged on its own and b something that can be considered a complete application and ship it. They're so desperate for content that some will print your press releases almost verbatim, if you preferred, write code that was isomorphic to Pascal. When I moved to New York, I was very excited at first. To avoid wasting his time, he waits till the third or fourth time he's asked to do something; by then, whoever's asking him may be fairly annoyed, but at the same time the veteran's skepticism. There are several local maxima.16 Defense contractors? When, if ever, is a watered-down Lisp with infix syntax and no macros. Hackers share the surgeon's secret pleasure in poking about in gross innards, the teenager's secret pleasure in poking about in gross innards, the teenager's secret pleasure in popping zits.

Notes

What happens in practice signalling hasn't been much of a long time in the 1920s to financing growth with retained earnings till the 1920s. Even Samuel Johnson seems to be a good idea to make money.

A related problem that they decided to skip raising an A round VCs put two partners on your own mind. That should probably question anything you believed as a cause as it might take an angel investment from a company's culture.

If you don't think they'll be able to formalize a small company that could be made. There was no more unlikely than it was putting local grocery stores out of business you should be.

If Congress passes the founder visa in a time machine, how can anything regressive be good employees either.

If big companies to acquire the startups, the light bulb, the initial investors' point of a great deal of competition for mediocre ideas, but I think what they campaign for. When governments decide how to distinguish 1956 from 1957 Studebakers. How did individuals accumulate large fortunes in an absolute sense, if we think your idea is that parties shouldn't be that the Internet was as late as Newton's time it takes forever.

Galbraith was clearly puzzled that corporate executives would work to have this second self keep a journal. While the audience already has to be more at home at the start, e.

Some will say that it also worked for spam. The closest we got to the Internet worm of its identity. Icio.

Rice and Beans for 2n olive oil or butter n yellow onions other fresh vegetables; experiment 3n cloves garlic n 12-oz cans white, kidney, or black beans n cubes Knorr beef or vegetable bouillon n teaspoons freshly ground black pepper 3n teaspoons ground cumin n cups dry rice, preferably brown Robert Morris says that a startup in the US, it would do it is genuine. Com in order to attract workers.

But the early adopters you evolve the idea that could start this way, except in the back of your last round of funding rounds are at some of these limits could be ignored. Comments at the mafia end of the latter without also slowing the former, and also really good at generating your own time in the computer world, write a new SEC rule issued in 1982 rule 415 that made steam engines dramatically more efficient: the attempt to discover the most promising opportunities, it is very vulnerable to gaming, because there's no center to walk to.

Though it looks like stuff they've seen in the first year or two make the kind that has become part of a large chunk of time, default to some abstract notion of fairness or randomly, in one where life was tougher, the television, the more subtle ways in which those considered more elegant consistently came out shorter perhaps after being macroexpanded or compiled. For these companies unless your last funding round usually reflects some other contribution by the high-minded Edwardian child-heroes of Edith Nesbit's The Wouldbegoods.

Mozilla is open-source browser. They may not be led by a big factor in high school kids arrive at college with a truly feudal economy, at least should make what they claim was the recipe: someone guessed that there are before the name implies, you don't, but that we didn't do. They overshot the available RAM somewhat, causing much inconvenient disk swapping, but they hate hypertension. Living on instant ramen, which are a hundred years ago.

I don't think you should probably question anything you believed as a rule, if you're measuring usage you need, you don't have one. Don't be fooled. So managers are constrained too; instead of admitting frankly that it's a seller's market. This is one subtle danger you have a group of people who are both genuinely formidable, and would probably also encourage companies to say how justified this worry is.

One of the biggest winners, which is where product companies go to grad school, because you can work out. It's conceivable that a their applicants come from meditating in an equity round.

So where do we draw the line?

In 1995, but he got there by another path. If you treat your classes as a company if the potential magnitude of the 2003 season was 2. An investor who invested earlier had been trained that anything hung on a desert island, hunting and gathering fruit. Confucius claimed proudly that he had more fun in this essay, I can imagine what it would have started there.

I'm satisfied if I could pick them, and they succeeded. Consulting is where your existing investors help you even working on Viaweb. If they were taken back in July 1997 was 1. But the change is a scarce resource.

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jcusnetworksba1002july2019 · 6 years ago

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Who doesn’t love a buffet?

“The information we consume matters just as much as the food we put in our body. It affects our thinking, our behaviour, how we understand our place in the world. And how we understand others.” -Evan Williams, Co-founder of Twitter and medium

My relationship to social media is a tumultuous one, where I have gone through different phases of social media usage. Over the years however, I’ve found myself seeking to be more intentional with my usage of social media. This includes the time spent scrolling down feeds, to the content I’m consuming be it on Facebook, instagram or Youtube. I’ve always found these three to be my main source of both mental relief, in the form of mindless scrolling, and stimulation through the access to a seeming infinitum of information at the tap of a thumb. I’ve also loved consuming knowledge through podcasts and a somewhat liberal relationship to buying ebooks on Amazon. We really are living in a day and age of abundance, which is both a blessing and a curse depending on how you look at it and approach it. Never has there been a time of sheer unfiltered access to both junk and quality information because of the internet. Social media being an interesting byproduct of this phenomenon that connects humans through the sharing of content that ranges from photos, sometimes of their lunches, to beautifully thought-out articles and books about the nature of our lived reality. (Min, 2017) This vastly nuanced spectrum between junk information and quality is one I have been seeking to navigate with more discernment and intentionality.

A common thing I’ve heard people say, growing up, is that “Knowledge is power”. Yet in observing the juxtaposition between having an over abundance of knowledge and the lived reality of our world on a personal and collective level, has lead me to amend this statement. “Knowledge is not power, it is only potential power”. Meaning that knowledge truly finds its power when properly digested by the individual, and transmuted into something actionable. Otherwise, you’d think we’d be walking around with lots of powerful people, but instead, levels of anxiety and overwhelm have been at an all time high in our generation. (Keles, McCrae & Grealish, 2019)

I love how Martin Lurther King talked about power. He says “Power properly understood is nothing but the ability to achieve purpose. It is the strength required to bring about social, political and economic change … What is needed is a realization that power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”

Awareness of a personal sense of purpose then to me seems like a natural precursor to greater intentionality in the way we consume knowledge online. So if we imagine our time online like being at the vastest buffet of knowledge and information. I realise now I have to be smart about it and get my ‘moneys’ worth, and in the case of social media usage, I’m paying with my time and attention. So instead of loading up on all the carbs that get me full quicker but don’t truly satiate. I’m gonna load up on some oysters and seafood, maybe even some wagyu beef if they’ve got some. In terms of knowledge, what I’m looking for is quality thinking and discussion that can be deeply digested and transformed into power.

A model of different quality of information available. Image by Michael Simmons.

References

Keles, B., McCrae, N., & Grealish, A. (2019). A systematic review: the influence of social media on depression, anxiety and psychological distress in adolescents. International Journal Of Adolescence And Youth, 1-15. doi: 10.1080/02673843.2019.1590851

Min, J. (2017). Effects of the Use of Social Network Sites on Task Performance: Toward a Sustainable Performance in a Distracting Work Environment. Sustainability, 9(12), 2270. doi: 10.3390/su9122270

Booth, R. (2019). Anxiety on rise among the young in social media age. Retrieved 9 August 2019, from https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/feb/05/youth-unhappiness-uk-doubles-in-past-10-years

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prorevenge · 6 years ago

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You want to mess with my career and my freedom? Watch your entire life go down in flames!

TL;DR at the bottom. Sorry in advance for any formatting or grammatical errors. English is not my first language.

This is a pretty long one, so hope you're up for the challenge :)

This all happened five or so years ago while I was working for a proprietary trading firm. The company is a multinational and it had opened a new office in my city a couple of years before I joined them. For those who don't know, most prop shops (as I understood it) have a very high turnover rate. Just toss everyone in and keep those who stick. The company I worked for recruited every three months. It had space for about 120 traders but the office was never full. Out of the twenty or so who were hired every quarter, only about five managed to make it beyond the three month internship period, and of those, only one - or sometimes none at all - made it past the additional three months probation period. The company was operating in my city for two years before I joined and there were only about four people who I could have called permanent. Everyone else, about another ten, was either on their internship or on probation.

The Setup.

I and about twenty five others were recruited straight out of university. The internship period paid really well for a first job, about twice as much as any other entry level position in other financial institutions plus bonuses once we went live (regardless of whether one is on internship, probation or permanent), and I was really excited.

I first came across my boss, a really decent Indian guy, at a industry day held in our university. That was where they administered the IQ tests and I passed. The office, similar to other mid-sized operations, had a pretty flat management structure. Us traders were at the lowest level, the HR/Ops manager was above us, and the Office Manager was, well, the head of the branch. The boss gave time off pretty much whenever you asked for it as long as the day's objectives were fulfilled (that was his policy).

However, the HR/Ops manager was his opposite, and then some. This lady was a Grade-A bitch, and I mean that sincerely. Let's call her Gabby.

The Instigating Event

I first met Gabby when I went to their offices for my final interview. I was registering at the front desk when she marched from her office demanding some documents from the receptionist. The receptionist wanted to finish up with me first but she was ordered off to file storage. Our exchange went like so:

Gabby: You're one of the new ones?

Me: Yes. I'm really excited.

Gabby: Don't be. you don't look like you'll make it.

Me: Why?

Gabby: You're too soft.

A pause.

Gabby: Buut... I can put in a good word for you, if you give me a little something. ( a bribe).

Me: Haha. Very funny.

Gabby: I'm serious. Give something and I'll make it very easy for you. Otherwise I'll make sure you don't even get into the interview.

Me: No.

Gabby: Stupid idiot.

Right to my face. And she kept her word. She made me sit in a hidden corner of the waiting room where no one would see me easily, but I could hear the conversations at the desk. The only reason why I got an interview is because apparently I had impressed the boss at our previous meeting that he came to see why my CV wasn't there. Gabby said that I hadn't sent it in. The receptionist stated that she had seen it somewhere. Then I walked up to the desk at the same time the receptionist said, "Here it is. It was in the trash..." and everyone stared at Gabby.

From that moment of humiliation onwards, Gabby had a raging hate boner for me. You see, Gabby was a micromanager, more of a nanomanager really. She made us have to request access if we wanted to access sites other than those on her approved list, and for traders who gain info from wherever we could find it, her list was woefully inadequate. She would call meetings at the most inopportune times - but only when the branch manager was not around - and in her lengthy meetings, you could never leave to check on your positions. She had this annoying habit of taking my lunch and when I confronted her about it, she essentially told me to go fuck myself. That I could live with. I just started bringing in two sets of lunch and kept on doing the job that I loved.

Gabby was married with two kids, and she was pretty. I guess she liked the attention because she would have a stream of guys picking her up at the office for two hour 'lunches' and when she left for home some evening. But not on Thursday. Thursdays were the days when her husband would come pick her up towing their kids along. I think they went to have a family dinner or something.

The Mistakes Gabby Made: Round One

Our manager left about two months after I joined. I think he returned to India to get married or something but still stayed with the company. Wished him all the best. None of the other permanent traders had the experience corporate required to take on a management role (5 years at least) so they had to shop around. In the meantime, Gabby became the de-facto head of the branch despite the fact that her knowledge of futures markets was rudimentary at best.

Her first mistake was when she delayed my promotion from internship to probation. I am an excellent trader, and was easily top five in my group. Of the 26, she promoted the twenty she liked, kept me and another guy in internship, and fired four.At around the same time, another recruitment drive happened and another twentyish interns were hired. I knew this was our beef rekindled and remixed, and I was actually surprised she held onto it for so long. It was also pretty unusual since the last thing my former boss did before he left was to promote me from the simulator to a live trading account. But I kept my head down and continued learning, often going back to my former boss and the permanent employees to get advice.

Another three months go by, and in the next evaluation I was shocked that I was still not brought up to probation, despite the fact that all of the new recruits of the second group had been promoted and I was easily the best and the only one trading live. I knew I was good at the job. The permanent guys all said so. The group I initially joined with was frequently asking me for advice. To their credit, a few of them were good, but most of them were still on sim, and as a rule, no one advanced to probation while still on sim. However, you could go live while on internship if you were good which is what had happened to me. So I was a live trader and making good money but I was still on internship and passed over twice. I couldn't let go of that.

I decided to talk to Gabby directly. I approached the senior guys and made my case, though I was careful not to put her in bad light. They agreed to help me and so they did. about a month after the she passed me over the second time, she gave me my promotion and I was now on probation. At this time, she was still unsure of her power and was still afraid of the permanent traders. Those guys were like gods.

Two months after my promotion, another evaluation and recruitment drive. I was not promoted. The group I started out with was now permanent, despite having only two of them trading live. The group I was currently with on probation were all promoted to permanent status. The group behind me on internship was all promoted to probation, and another group was hired. I let it go hoping she had got it out of her system. Sadly, she had not.

Round Two

Three months go by. I'm trading live and loving it, though still on probation. An evaluation comes up again and I'm not promoted, despite the fact that, contract to contract, I was almost on a level with the permanent employees. The group that found me on probation was advanced to permanent status to a man, and none of them were live. the group behind me caught up to me and a new batch of newbies were hired as interns. I couldn't let this one go either. I approached the original four permanent employees who were now my very good buddies and planned to do the same thing as last time. Only this time, it didn't work. Gabby had grown into her sadistic power and flatly refused to even consider my promotion even after she was presented with evidence that I was worth it. Her argument was along the lines of, "I'm the boss so I can do whatever the hell I want."

But I wasn't having that, so I contacted my former boss for help. At the time he had been promoted to head of operations, Africa. He was actually quite surprised, given my performance, that I was still on probation. Needless to say, the order came down from on high and Gabby looked like she was shitting six pineapples simultaneously as she handed my letter. And I thought that was the end of it. How wrong I was.

On the next recruitment she hired this girl, let's call her Sue. Sue was an intelligent person all round, but she didn't have the emotional quotient to handle the market (trading, as I was taught, requires two mental aspects: IQ and EQ. You can't improve IQ, but you can boost your EQ to deal with the numerous stresses that accompany the career). Sue had more than enough of the IQ part, but EQ, not so much. No worries, you can work on that.

Just to recap: The office now had about seventy employees. Of these, over thirty were permanent staff (me included) but only eleven were trading live. Another twenty or so were on probation, but only three were trading live. None of the interns were live. The office needed to stay profitable if it was to stay open which means that the money the fourteen live traders were paying the salaries of everyone in the office, rent, supplies, health insurance, pensions etc etc. Needless to say, corporate was not seeing a lot of returns from our branch, and as I came to learn later from my former boss, were considering shutting down the branch and costing us our jobs. But I digress.

The Last Straw

The Grade-A Bitch Gabby took advantage of an inconsolable and desperate Sue to try and get me for sexual harassment. This is how it went down. Remember all those people still on sim? Well, they all came to the eleven of us for trading advice and we did what we could to help them. We divided up the sim traders into groups and I was mentoring about four people. Sue was one of them. As any trader will tell you, the period before profitability is usually one of losses (unless you're really good) and is filled with stress and fear (hence the need for high EQ). It's normal, and you get through it.

Sue was going through such a rough patch one evening. We were going over her trades (bad trading day all around), when she just burst out crying. I know how it feels. I had shed my own tears as well. So comforted her the best I could. I held her hand and patted her on the back awkwardly (to this day I still don't know how to comfort someone) until she quieted down. What I didnt know was that Gabby had seen us.

As I came to learn later, she approached Sue the following day and made her an offer. Gabby would make sure Sue kept her job and would get her a lot of money if she stated that I had sexually harassed her. Sue took Gabby up on the offer and what followed was a nightmare.It started with a formal reprimand from corporate, a hearing in which I wasn't present to defend myself (because Gabby 'forgot' to send me the summons).

Apparently she lobbied quite viciously to get me fired. The only reason I was able to keep my job was that my former boss came to my defence. Despite his help, I lost my quarterly bonus (about US$100,000) and half of my holdback (about US$400,000). I also had to attend seminars which essentially involved watching the same film on sexual assault in the workplace (three hours long) until I stated, in writing, that I was an abuser and it would go on my record. I knew that if that happened, Gabby would have the ammunition she needed to ruin my life forever. So every day, I got into the office at seven in the morning, watched the three hour film until ten. Refuse to acknowledge it, then get to work, leave the office at 11:20 in the evening, rinse and repeat. For almost seven months. It was tiring, and torture, and Gabby never let me live it down.

All of the people I had been mentoring were transferred the day after my reprimand. A day after that, Gabby informed me via letter that my clip size had been cut from 1000 to 20 contracts. Yeah, I had to admit, I was bloodied. I was down, but the bitch didn't know that she should have ended me.

The Revenge

Step 1: Ruin Gabby's Career.

I started compiling all the shit that was happening to me in the office. It started when I realized that when I went out to lunch, someone would open my desk drawer and mess around with my notebook, where I jotted down my trading ideas for the day. The only person who had a key apart from me was Gabby. Apparently she had mastered my lunchtime routine for the entire 45 minute break and would open my locker when I was out smoking. She would then copy down my trading plans for the day and give them to Sue. I even saw them at it once, but they didn't see me. I documented it. I let it go on for a while so that I could establish a pattern via Sue's trades. I then approached two of the permanent traders who were closest to me and told them my plan.

Remember when I said almost no money was reaching corporate? and that there were only eleven live traders? The situation had only gotten worse. The office was now full but we had less that fifteen live traders. Live trading could only be approved by Head of Operations (my former boss) and he was a strict one. Now imagine that my earning capacity had been cut by over 90%. My two friends agreed to my plan and they slowed down their trading by around 50%. This essentially put the branch in the red and three weeks later, we were told that Head of Ops and other head honchos were coming down. The next phase involved getting Sue into a corner. Pleas, a tear or two, and revealing that I could prove she had been stealing my work were enough to get a written statement from her that Gabby had orchestrated my whole sexual harassment thing.

Step 2: Ruin Gabby's Marriage

It took only a little investigation on my part to realize than all those men who visited the office were actually Gabby's lovers. She would leave for two-hour 'lunches' with her phone turned off. I took advantage of one such period. Gabby left and I snuck into her office to find her Facebook profile open. Everyone knew she was always on there and it was a sore point because she had banned it for the rest of us minions. I got into her Messenger, and voila! Explicit texts, nudes, rants about her husband and his inadequacies, the six guys or so she had cheated with, all of it. I copy pasted the data into her private email which she was logged into as well (always clear cache, you guys) and sent it to my private email, then deleted it from her sent folder. Now I had the ammo on my phone ready to send.

Step 3: Ruin Gabby's Relationship with her Kids.

Now, I'll say right off the bat I'm not proud of this step. but to bust my justice nut, it wasn't enough to just send the info to her husband. So I waited for Thursday when I knew he would be passing by the office with the kids. The Pro Revenge gods saw fit to bless me that day, because it was the same day that Corporate Head Honchos were ridin' into town.

Thursday.

I was at the office at seven as usual with all my documentation from my appointment letter to the numerous rejected requests for promotion, sat through the three hour sexual harassment video (yes, I was still doing that), and waited for the Moment. The guys from corporate, my former boss included, arrived and went straight into a meeting with Gabby. I was quite certain that they would call me in to know why I had been attending a sexual harassment awareness class for almost a year, and I was ready for them.

I was called in after lunch, at about two. The question was asked and before I could answer, Gabby jumped on the bit like I knew she would. She went on a long rant about how I had been insubordinate, and how I liked to touch the female employees. I could tell from her grin that she thought she was winning.

And then I pulled out Sue's letter, and the grin curdled on her face. Sue was hurriedly called in and she backed my story. She said she was sorry. She was fired on the spot and told to go wait at the receptionist for her final check. I felt no sympathy. I was on a roll.

Next I pulled out my analysis of my trades and told them how Gabby had been breaking into my locker and stealing my notes for sue. Gabby denied it. Sue was called back in. She denied it. My former boss logged into the company network, pulled Sue's and my trading data. He compared the positions taken by both of us with my notes. He said it was true. Sue was fired again. They told me they would refund my confiscated bonus and holdback, with an extra 50 grand. That was fine by me. The justice was enough.

And then I spotted Gabby's husband heading into her office as usual, their two kids in tow. I pulled out my phone, grinned at her and said,

"You're husband is here."

She turned around and saw him. She excused herself for a minute to tell him to wait.

My former boss said, "Sure."

I pressed send.

TL;DR. Grade-A Bitch tries to ruin my career because I humiliated her, I burn her life to the fucking ground.

As for the aftermath, Gabby's husband absolutely lost his shit. Her office was glass-walled and the rest was open-plan so we could all hear what they were shouting about. He finally left with their kids in tow (sorry little ones) Gabby followed him still shouting at him. Then she saw us all standing around and the look on her face was priceless as she was wondering which aspect of her life to try and salvage. She let her husband go, but about an hour later she had been fired.

My favorite boss stayed behind since there was no one left. He stayed for a month training the lady who had been with the company the longest to take over as manager. She is easily the most brilliant mind I had ever met. Unfortunately the branch was still struggling with so many employees who were not generating income and they had to shut it down. But they transferred all the performing employees to their other various branches in London (2 branches) and India (9 branches). So I guess no one undeservedly lost their jobs.

I still stalk Gabby on Facebook. There have been a lot of "I'm single because I'm too awesome" posts of late. I almost feel sorry for her, but I remember the three-hour video and I stop being foolish. From what I could see on LinkedIn, Sue bounced around from firm to firm until she found a position as a research analyst. My favorite boss is still at the firm. We talk from time to time.

I took a break from trading for a while. After all the shit that went down, I needed a break so I didn't take them up on their offer to relocate to India. Went to work with a buddy of mine who has a consultancy. When I feel ready I'll go back to the market. For me at least, there is no other job as challenging and satisfying.

Wow. That was long. I think though that's the end of my ProRevenge :)

(source) (story by AbbasKubaba)

#prorevenge #by AbbasKubaba #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story

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pauonabudget-blog · 5 years ago

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Siquijor 2019

Tada!!! After 7 (??) years, I am back doing my first love - blogging. So for my first entry (again), I wanna share with you my solo travel adventure to Isla de Fuego aka Siquijor Island. It’s my 2nd solo travel for this year (6th overall) and I must say it is one of my favorites! (PS all photos are mine unless stated otherwise hehe). Btw I went to Siquijor June 16-18, 2019. All currencies stated are in Philippine Pesos

HOW DID I GET THERE?

Since I am always on the look out for piso fares, I got my roundtrip tickets Manila-Dumaguete-Manila for roughly 1,600.00 during Cebu Pacific’s snap sale (99.00 base fare). Not bad.

From Dumaguete airport, there are tricycles/habal habals (single motorcycles) that can take you to Dumaguete Port. If you don’t have that much of luggage with you (or if you are still not so sure on your haggling skills), it’s best that you find your preferred mode of transportation OUTSIDE of the airport since the drivers on the airport tend to overcharge.

Okay so once you have hailed a driver, tell him to drop you off at the ticketing counter of your preferred ferry going to Siquijor, So in my case, I told the habal to drop me off at Oceanjet ticketing office. Ticketing office is walking distance from the port entrance. To be on the safe side also, you can purchase your return trip ticket as well to avoid hassle on the day you’re going back to mainland Dumaguete.

Oceanjet from Dumaguete port to Siquijor port is roughly 50 mins to 1 hour. Just a reminder: Dumaguete port is really wavy. I don’t get dizzy easily but man Dumaguete port tested me lol. Before stepping inside the port, you need to pay P13.00 (I forgot what is it for lol but there is a window beside the port entrance). The port itself is clean and spacious by the way and there are kiosks there for those who’ll go hungry while waiting for the scheduled boat trips.

Once you arrive at Siquijor Port, there are tricycles/habal habals waiting outside the port. Up to you what you’ll take. Being a solo traveller and having just one backpack, I contracted a habal to take me to my accommodation and tour the whole island. Kuya Elbert (my habal driver/ tour guide. VERY NICE) and I have agreed for P800.00 for a whole island tour plus him bringing me to my accommodation and to the port. I also paid for his lunches and snacks. Kuya Elbert +639068382558

WHERE DID I STAY?

I stayed at JJ’s Backpackers Village (As recommended by the British solo traveller I met on Siargao). They have bunk beds there for 400/night. One dorm room contains 6 beds (2 single beds and 2 double deck beds) and a bathroom (decent, clean, well maintained, working flush lol). The hostel also has its own in-house restaurant and bar so there’s no need to worry of going hungry lol. But the real selling point of JJ’s Backpackers is the killer beach front since it is along Solangon Beach. It’s very chill and relaxing that I can just lay in the hammock all day and do nothing kind of vibe.

<Dorm room 400/night> PS bring your own padlocks for the lockers.

You may contact them at +639989704452 or go to their Facebook page

WHERE DID I GO?

Siquijor Island is so small that you can tour it in less than a day. There are even some travellers that do daytour and then goes back to Dumaguete. Here are the highlights of my habal tour:

1. SALAGDOONG BEACH

This is where the famous cliffdiving site in Siquijor is located. For those who want that jolt of adrenaline rush on the body, this is your place to go. I chickened out the last minute because the jump site is so high and scary hahaha so I opted to stay on the shore and swim. There is an entrance fee going here (I think 30 pesos but correct me if I am wrong).

2. PALITON BEACH

The beach where you can find the instagram worthy palm tree shots. When I was here, I can’t believe how chill and peaceful it is here. There are also locals who is standing by the famous palm tree that is ready to assist you on your creative instagram photo (just don’t forget to give them a tip - I gave P50.00). My favorite beach of all beaches!! Free entrance!!

3. CAMBUGAHAY FALLS

I fell in love with Cambugahay falls. The water is unbelievably blue like it will take your breath away. So for this destination, Kuya Elbert stayed on the motorcycle parking as there was a designated tour guide going down the falls (it has different levels btw). We went there as early as 7:00AM (normally there is an entrance fee but when we got there, the collector was still not on his post so that means it is FREE again lol). So yeah trying going there early plus also to avoid large crowds as it gets pretty crowded around 9:00 am onwards. So after frolicking in the blue waters and braving the tarzan swing, time to go up again. I gave my guide P100.00 plus I paid the motor parking P10.00

4. CENTURY OLD BALETE TREE AND FISH SPA

I did not try the fish spa since I am a ticklish person but the fishes were big so no thanks lol. The tree looks enchanting tho but I like the one in Baler. There is also a souvenir shop beside it. You can buy shirts, ref magnets, voodoo doll keychains and the infamous love potion in a bottle.

5. HAPITANAN CAFE AND RESTAURANT

I didn’t do the famous broomstick photo because I was not in the mood lol. But I did chill for a little bit on their backyard.

WHERE TO EAT

So for 3 days, this is how I survived lol

DAY 1

Breakfast - Cinnabon sticks and coffee from the airport (<300.00)

Lunch - 2 pcs chicken with rice and bottled water bought from one of the Dumaguete Port kiosk (P80.00)

Dinner - A hearty plate of gnocchi from Dolce Amore. This is the first time I tasted Gnocchi and it was da bomb!!! (plus their homemade chocolate cake and homemade coconut gelato - shared by us 3 roommates). My plate of gnocchi was P180.00 but it was so worth it! The desserts cost were split between us 3. (Spent around 285.00 for my meal)

DAY 2

Breakfast - Leftover cinnabon sticks (I still have 4 sticks left lol) plus coconut juice (40.00 for the coconut juice of Kuya Elbert and I)

Lunch - Kuya Elbert and I ate at an eatery at downtown. Hearty lunch for 2 is at P200.00

2 cans of beer - P120.00

Dinner - Beef burger with homemade patties at JJ’s (P180.00)

DAY 3 (I took the first trip of Oceanjet back to Dumaguete 6:00 AM since I have a 10:15am flight back to Manila)

Breakfast - Sansrival Bistro Dumaguete (continental Filipino Breakfast) - (P220.00) *walking distance from Dumaguete port*

Lunch - Since our flight was delayed for 2.5 hours, we had free lunch from Jollibee (FREE)

TAKE NOTE

1. Bring sunblock and cap

2. INSECT REPELLENT IS A MUST. Mosquitoes there are annoying as f*ck. Off lotion will not be enough

3. Always make sure to have your phones and powerbanks fully charged since there are schedules of power interruption on the island.

4. Be friendly to the locals and also to your fellow travellers.

5. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR RUBBISH ALONG THE BEACH. Throw them properly.

To end my post, I won’t be able to give exact amount but I can give you my DIY itinerary. I think 5,000.00 will be enough for 3 days as long as you have prepared your expenses. Let me know if you have questions.

Siquijor became one of my favorite destinations. Mark my words: I will be back!

#solotravel #siquijor #philippines #beach #itsmorefuninthephilippines #travel #siquijorisland #budgettravel

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pannydukes-blog · 6 years ago

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pisati · 6 years ago

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I’ll admit, it’s sometimes a little hard to know where I stand with you. I do take your reassurances at face value, of course, and I know I often need reminding. but I also try to remember that you’ve been through a hell of a lot emotionally. I only know what you’ve told me; I don’t have your lived experiences. there’s a lot that you’ve gone through that I don’t even know about, and you don’t have to tell me about it-- it’s enough to know it happened. I can’t expect you to be as open about emotion as I am, or even able to feel things like I do (and I’ve been pretty dulled myself). maybe I’ve been reading you wrong at times; it’s hard to, especially through text. but I can hear it in your voice sometimes, I think. something flat. could be exhaustion, could be everything. of course I forgive your lacking in reciprocal effort; I appreciate all that you do give me. I know you’re trying, and you’re trying because you want to, not because you think I expect you to. it’s not easy. but you know as well as I do that shrugging everything off and staying in the emotionless void isn’t healthy for you.

from what I can at least guess about you, you’re a genuinely kind and caring person who has had a lot of his emotional innocence, so to speak, torn from him. you’re right: your emotion isn’t worthless. but that’s something you have to internalize yourself. I’ve been in similar dark places, but I don’t think it’s near to the degree you have. not that pain is a competition; it’s not. I just know that I can’t fully understand the things you’ve been feeling, or... not feeling. regardless, I know you know it’s not healthy and you want to move forward from it, and I’m glad to be there for you while you work through it. that’s a kindness I think anyone dealing with trauma deserves. I also very much appreciate that we can have both silly and serious conversations; even just following my blog you already know more about me than a lot of my irl friends. you’ve become someone I also care very much about and I don’t like seeing you in pain-- though of course it’s not my place to do more than I can, or more than you want me to. I’d still like to be there for you regardless.

---

anywho! travel plans. like I said, most of the issue is logistics. I’m looking at potential flights and I think a reasonable roundtrip is about 9 days; including 2 for travel, that’s a full week for adventuring. I’m flexible, of course, but I’m not the one with a job, lol. I don’t know what airlines would be best (though I did just find a flight on Icelandair, one 55m stop in Keflavik, July 10-19, for $1100 roundtrip), so if you wanna help out with searching you’re more than welcome to take a look yourself. I’d prefer shorter layovers if possible; none of those 27h total trips, lmao. nothing’s direct from Dulles unfortunately, but it is a major international hub, like JFK, so often I’ll be able to find flights to other major destinations from here. which is gr8, because it’s literally a 10-15 minute drive from my house. we have two other major airports here: Reagan national and BWI. personally I prefer Dulles because it’s closer, but if you can find a cheaper and/or direct flight out of the other ones, I’ll find a way to get there lol.

I’m going to be in PA for farm jam from, likely, July 3-7th. I’ll have to see how I feel about what day I’m coming home. I may or may not want to stay til the 8th. but anyway I don’t want to leave on an international flight *too* soon after I get home. I’ll have to drive 4 hours home after spending 4 days camping in the woods on a farm, unpack from camping, and then pack again, and I only have so much energy. I’ve done it before (got back from Iceland and drove to PA the next morning), but it’s not terribly fun. I think if I can make myself come home on the 7th, or at least early on the 8th, I can leave the 10th at the earliest. I’m going to look at July 10-19 as my reference, since that’s also one of the cheapest roundtrips that I can find (for some reason wednesdays are cheaper traveling days?), but those days might change a little. I’ll let you know if I decide on something for sure, but if you want to look up Airbnbs (or if you can find cheaper flights, lmao), you’re welcome to use the 10-19th as a general reference point as well.

I have no qualms about Airbnbs. it would be easier booking-wise to get the flight and hotel together, but I’m cool with having a little place out of the city for the week. the genuine experience, as you say, lol. the coast would be lovely, but I’ll take whatever you find that you like! I’ll leave that to your expertise. are we splitting the cost for that, or.. how do you want to do that?

as far as itinerary, I’m down for everything. I got real excited about that owl sanctuary, lol. anything with animals is great with me. can we see highland cattle too?? I do know I’m gonna want to check out one or two of the record stores in Glasgow; I think that’s my new Travel Thing, lol. going to a city, checking out the record stores. gotta bring records home. that’s my kinda souvenir. everything else, I’m down for too! I love learning about history, seeing old churches and castles, historical sites, all that jazz. I love the sound of that island too! I totally get what you mean about not doing all the typically touristy stuff. I mean, I live just outside Washington DC. I know the tourist traps are a waste of time and money and they’re not the ~real experience~. I love the sound of not taking the beaten path, though. and how often do you have a personal local tour guide? lmao

the only worries I have, really, are my energy levels and my traveling anxiety. neither of those are your responsibility, but they do affect me literally every time I travel, even if I think they won’t.

the anxiety has its roots in my emetophobia, for sure. for some reason my brain feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen is me getting sick while I’m traveling, and then of course I get nervous about it, and what accompanies the nervousness? nausea. shit writes itself. I know it happens, I’m very conscious of it, but that doesn’t stop it. I’ll bring klonopin as a security blanket, likely won’t need it, but mostly what helps is just, like, making sure I eat something, lol. I don’t tend to eat much when I travel anyway, but not eating tends to make the problem worse and I need something in my stomach, obviously. being distracted helps too. something to focus on, someplace to go or see. I’ll let you know how I’m feeling, though, so don’t worry about needing to check in on me. I’m not a nervous wreck all the time.

then there’s the energy levels. I have no earthly way of knowing what they’re going to be like in July. right now I don’t have much energy to do much of anything, but sometimes, especially if I’m subconsciously nervous, I won’t have an off switch. and sometimes I say “not a lot of energy” but I push myself anyway and surprise myself. it’s incredibly hard to predict my day-to-day now, without the traveling nerves, and it’ll be almost impossible to predict from now if something in my medical future changes. so, basically, it’s something to keep in mind but nothing to control for.

I’m pretty low-energy in general, but I can walk a good bit, so don’t worry about pushing me! I’ll let you know what I can handle. it’s probably safe to put one big thing in a day, 2-3 tops if they don’t have much travel time between them. better to leave time open to fit in more things anyway than to over-book and not be able to get to them all. I never know what my sleep’s going to be like, but I can almost guarantee it’s going to be terrible. it usually is when I travel. this also isn’t your responsibility, so don’t let me wreck your sleep schedule for when you have to get back to work, lol. I’m fine staying up late by myself if I’ve got wifi or if I bring a book or something; I can’t expect you to have the same crazy erratic sleep schedule as traveling-me. I’ll let you know if something is or isn’t okay, what I’m up for, all that good stuff. so I’d say definitely plan in all the stuff you want to do plus a few record shops, but leave some wiggle room for late starts, fitting more things in, or the possibility that I might not be able to get to everything in a day. not saying I’ll be struggling that hard, but wiggle room is always good so no one is disappointed lol

anyways I have no worries that it’ll be a great trip 😊literally everything you mentioned sounds wonderful, and I’m already excited! I do worry slightly that we still barely know each other and have never spoken face to face, lol. but I’m sure that’ll happen in due time before July. it’s one thing to meet an internet stranger in your city, but in another country? as a solo female traveler that does make me nervous. I like to think I have a pretty decent sense of the kind of person you are, but you really never know. it’ll certainly help ease my mind to get to know you better over the course of the next few months.

also... I don’t want to alarm you and I’m probably not supposed to tell you at all, but I’d rather be upfront about it. the background check I’m currently undergoing for my [future] job requires me to inform them of every non-US citizen I have “close and continuing contact” with. you and I weren’t talking yet when I filled out the background check form, but I do have to keep them updated or risk losing my chance at the job. they won’t do anything with the information I give them; everyone has friends and family in other countries, and the US doesn’t have any beef with Scotland that I’m aware of, lol. but I will need to give them basic information, especially if I’m leaving the country to visit. I would have to do it even if I weren’t planning on visiting and we kept talking, but this seems like an appropriate time to bring it up, lol. this is standard procedure for federal background checks here; literally everyone trying to get a cleared job has to do it. the form itself is open-source, the PDF is the top result on google, and I can send it to you so you can see exactly what they ask me to provide, if you’d like. I’m not going to ask you for more information than what you’ve given me, and they do take “I don’t know” as an answer. if it’s not okay with you at all, though, then we’ve got some major problems.

soooooo with that out of the way, lmao

if I think of anything else I’m sure I’ll bring it up when I think of it. the only question I might have right now is what should I bring, besides the essentials? a book, maybe. a crochet thing? perhaps? laptop? (probably no on that one, though, right?) uhhhh power adapters? the electrical plugs are definitely different there, yeah? any american things I can pack into a suitcase that you’d like me to bring? lol

speaking of american things. I’ve already got a small list of little things I could pack into a box and ship out there and I think you’ll like them!! how do you feel about sweets? I’m not talking junk food per se, like all the ridiculous candies we have here. just sweet in general? and I know you said not spicy, but how about seasoning? what kinds of seasonings do you like and dislike?

I’ll start looking into flights more seriously soon, as long as you’re okay with the background thing. I can’t give you too many details about all that, mostly because I don’t have them, but we can absolutely talk about it if it’s a concern.

so, yes. let me know when you have time to talk and we can start planning 💕

#oops it's kinda long sry

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arkus-rhapsode · 7 years ago

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My Hero Academia Chapter 180 Review

Sooooo... People are probably wondering why I’m writing a review of this again. Well its mainly cause that switching to OP reviews really wasn’t a good idea given how over saturated the fandom is and a lot of people beat to the punch on that. I also really wanted to talk about this arc and probably will start doing more reviews for the series later on.

We open on Gentle literally on fire thanks to La Brava’s quirk. kay I’m goning to talk about a few issues I have with the quirk but I’ll talk about those later.

Anyway Gentle is pushing Deku back and starts questioning why he wants to become a hero.

We get a good comparison by the two showing how the two have similar motivations and goals. And while Deku clearly had more people supporting him than Gentle, it still holds true.

Wow Eri really got to Deku? Not complaining, but I mean if you’re keeping up with the anime you know about Kouta and hell going back more Todoroki, they suffered too. Sure nowhere near as much as Eri, but clearly she isn’t the only one in pain. Though unlike the other cases, Deku hasn’t really liberated Eri from her hang ups so I guess it evens out.

Okay, I know La Brava was built up as spending a lot of time on the computer and likely savvy with software, but I kinda think after two infiltration that not only would physical security be beefed up, but also computer systems atleast advanced to the point a grad schooler couldn’t break through it.

I do like this from Gentle showing how when he’s facing a real hero like Deku and something that he wants to be like, Gentle is cutting all the bullshit and is expressing all of his true desires.

We cut to La Brava who is getting close to U.A., but runs into proheroes patrolling the outskirts of the school. Jeez, it’s almost like a densely populated public event would need top notch security.

Back at the fight.

Deku knocks out Gentle while saying he was the toughest opponent he fought so far. I’m pretty what Deku means is that Gentle was tough as in how similar they are and how close to the line Deku and him straddle and that its hard to beat down someone you yourself is sympathizing with. At least that is what I’m hoping Deku means, after Overhaul, its going to be a little tough to top that.

Okay, so this is where I’ll bring up my issue with the quirk “Love”, mainly its how it can get stronger in dire situations. Look, I thought the way it was first described was fine. That the more you love someone the more this support would increase their strength and the biggest draw back is of course you have to have a level of affection for the person. I mean if I were stuck on a team with people I don’t like then it probably wouldn’t be so effective. Now also the concept of once per day seems like it needed to be included as well for balancing out a bit more, but my problem is how it gets stronger as dire the situation is. I understand affections raising in tense situation, but La Brava was fawn over the guy when she was watching a video of him. I think Gentle would’ve already been maxed out. Also I might just be because I read Fairy Tail, but flames emotion is really chessy.

But back to the story.

SO we get two really good pages that show off the humanity of La Brava, but also continue the theme of MHA being that villains are people searching for a place to belong. La Brava’s over affectionate behavior was only reciprocatied by Gentle, and in turn La Brava still supported Gentle in his endeavors. It didn’t matter what they were doing so long as they were able to be together. Now granted La Brava’s issue wasn’t as sever as people who were outcasted like Magne who is transgender and didn’t go through any reassignment surgery, Twice who’s mentally unstable, and Overhaul who is a relic of time past, but it is still worth noting that minor things like ridicule and taunting can push a person out of society. Such as the case with La Brava.

Gentle Hears La Brava’s plea and gets Deku off him.

The two are going to leave probably best given they are in no posstion to keep fighting and both don’t want their exploits to come to end.

The chapter ends with Gentle acknowledging Deku and stating that he is surrendering. Though one little critique, Horikoshi used “the conclusion” for last weeks chapter, make up your mind.

Post Chapter Follow Up; This chapter is very good and very nice in a short amount of time. The character of Gentle was one that a lot thought was going to be the next Stain, but Stain was a character where you understand him, you clearly see what he’s doing is wrong. Gentle is someone who is wrong and his motives can be seen as selfish, but in the end there are more similarities to him and the protagonist than Deku and Stain.

Another thing I like in this chapter that I forgot to mention is that Deku vs Gentle is the first time in a while we’ve gotten a solo Deku fight. With the new application of Deku’s power he defiantly is showing that with a fifth of All Might’s power he is defiantly come a long way. I do wish that Gentle wasn’t shown beating 4 pro heroes maybe two because with that and La Brava’s power boost there seem to be some power scaling issues.

Also this chapter continues the plot of MHA’s over arching theme which I’m glad to always see.

If any problems I had it mainly has to do with the power or at least how they were portrayed, but given that this arc is short and this fight is shaping up to be short I guess its no the worse but I kinda miss the construction site set piece.

The ending is also really good, with it very ambiguous on how they are going to react, sure Gentle was going to do something, but he didn’t, but he also is known on the internet for doing wrong things, so it’ll be interesting how they tackle it.

Final Verdict: 8/10

Good Characterization

Love all the motivations on display

Very intrigued for next week

#my hero academia #my hero academia 180 #mha 180 #bnha 180 #boku no hero academia #heroaca #deku midoriya #izuku midoriya #gentle criminal #la brava #lovelover #ectoplasm #class 1-a #hero killer stain

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