#i just finished listening to the sky podcast

[keepthedelta]

it's so fascinating when sports media talks about mental health and the outside pressure placed on athletes and completely neglects to factor themselves in. especially in sports like f1 where the media is so biased and so harsh and so changeable. commentators are out there savaging drivers and calling for them to be fired and generally being awful, but then they turn around to go "oh we need to be more open about mental health etc." like. you think this has nothing to do with you??? obviously there's a certain level of scrutiny that you have to expect in sports and the media should ask hard questions but they cross the line between acceptable scrutiny and just dogpiling so often. and there's never any introspection of their own ethics and actions and how they contribute to a driver's negative mindset

[stayconnecteed]

“ㅤcasual intimacy moments.ㅤ”ㅤㅤfeat.ㅤstray kids

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 ,⠀ ( none of them, just pure fluff and love from our boys ーfelix's is a bit suggestive at the end𓈒⠀⠀enjoy! )

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗋'𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ,⠀ ( if you saw this post in another blog no you didn't because it was me having a tumblr break down and creating another blog for the fun of it. anyways, i really really love cute domestic moments, even more if it's skz themed hehe𓈒⠀⠀hope you like it! )

⠀ೀ　──── 　bang chan.

for chan it's the almost gravitational way you always rotate around each other, with passing caresses and soothing embraces, unable to separate. it's the way your legs tangle under the sheets at night, when you inevitably end up wrapped in his arms and your minds drift off to sleep in harmony. it's every time you walk outside and your hand finds a place next to his, at first just brushing, but always gently intertwining your fingers. when he invites you to his company events, and guides you through the crowd of guests with the warm palm of his hand pressed into the small of your back, murmuring in your ear a low ‘i'm going to say hello to some colleagues, just give me a second’, waiting for you to give him that shy little smile followed by a quick nod. or at a quiet dinner, surrounded by your closest friends, forever sitting right next to you, his hand drawing meaningless shapes on the bare skin of your thigh absentmindedly. chan carries the weight of the conversation, but he's always paying attention to you. if you even hint you want to say something, he'll lean back in his seat, looking at you as if you hang the stars in the sky every night, sliding his arm around the back of your chair, caressing your shoulders, playing with your hair, smiling at every word you pronounce. it's the way he leaves a kiss on your temple when one of your friends points out what a good couple you make, and you press yourself against him, blushing and embarrassed, but still resting your hand on his chest, cuddling onto him with pride.

⠀ೀ　──── 　lee know.

for minho it's the way the velvety sound of your voice can make the weight of a bad day slide off his shoulders, and he always greets you with a big genuine smile. it's the way he doesn't take a second to plug his bluetooth earbuds into his phone as soon as your personalised notification song starts playing, indicating that a new audio from you has arrived in your chat. you usually narrate whatever has just happened to you as if you were recording a podcast just for him, and minho can't help but listen to every second of it with a smitten, adoring gesture curving his lips. it's hearing you humming in the kitchen when he wakes up, starting his day in a good mood and with a slightly scorched pancake in his hand, or receiving your sleepy greeting when he wakes up first and you can only cling to him as he finishes preparing the breakfast. it's your giggles, his playful whispers, your cranky protests and the voice you make when apologising to him after an argument, even if it wasn't your fault, just because you hate fighting with him. but most of all it's at night, when you watch him chop vegetables for dinner while you go on and on about everything you've done during the day. and when you pause, paying attention to the music playing on the radio, and you miss the comment he makes, something along the lines of ‘you look pretty on my counter’, but it's okay. because you just exclaimed that your favourite song is on and you started dancing in the middle of the kitchen, and he knows it is, but he just smiles. he's always listening to you: that's the song that plays every time you text him.

⠀ೀ　──── 　seo changbin.

for changbin it's the way in which your presence has become his safe space, and you his pillar, always willing to let him carry some of his worries on your shoulders. the way you stand so firm and secure, with a soft smile curving your lips, welcoming him with open arms. it's the way that since he was young he has needed to keep quiet about everything he feels, to avoid hurting anyone who might hear him speak, but it never happened with you. knowing your limits, he speaks with the freedom of one who knows he is in a place he trusts, telling what he has done during the day, but also his private thoughts and deepest longings. it's all those times when he has come home and spent his time talking, sitting in bed, while you make notes or tidy up the room. you listen to him, relaxing, and he always feels better after talking to you ーeven if you haven't said a word. and if he comes in in a bad mood, or even sad, or just doesn't feel like talking, you walk him to your bathroom to put on your gym outfits, and take him with you to release energy. but if you don't feel like it, then he's the one who helps you clean up, selecting a random playlist from his private spotify account and vacuuming, mopping, or even his favourite: doing the laundry. being able to smell the clean towels and sheets, taking your time to fold them carefully and neatly, him holding two corners and you holding the other two, doing it together, and getting to sit on the couch and watch it all tidy up makes you feel satisfied.

⠀ೀ　──── 　hwang hyunjin.

for hyunjin it's the way you look at each other, meeting in a room full of people even almost unintentionally. automatic, at first as a coincidence that made you blush like teenagers, and now as an old habit that never fails to make you smile. it's the way you don't need him to utter a word to know what he needs, to find out what's wrong with him. one look from him, his eyes moist with sadness, and you do whatever it takes to make it right. one look from you, full of loneliness, and you can't get him to leave you for the rest of the day. it’s looking into his eyes and knowing he's the most important person in your life. searching for him with your eyes when you hear something he'd love to know, and discovering his absence. missing the way his eyes curve into a smile when you hear a joke and he's not there. repeating word for word later in the day, knowing he's lost in thought, and his gaze lost on you, certain he'd smile with his eyes even if it wasn't funny. because it's you. it's coming home to find it silent, exhaling all the pent up stress he's been accumulating and being able to lose himself in your eyes. even before you go to sleep, when you meet in the bathroom to brush your teeth, it's that glance. sometimes tired, sometimes clear as a summer night, but always with the glow of the happiness you give each other. is when you make a silly face, and he has to hold back to keep the toothpaste foam from coming out of his nose, or dance in front of the mirror, humming whatever. even later, face to face on the mattress, when you look at each other in silence, tracing every detail you fell in love with, sometimes with your memories, sometimes with your fingers, sometimes with your lips.

⠀ೀ　──── 　han jisung.

for jisung it is the selfless and generous way you love him, as if it were as easy as breathing. the way you make him the centre of your universe at every sign of faltering, even when he doesn't think he deserves it. how you put all your trust in him from the beginning, overflowing so that he learned to trust himself too. how you treat him when he feels like a broken glass, too fractured and fragile, letting him lie in your lap, teaching him how precious he is, reassuring him for as long as he needs, with soft words and slow caresses. it's the way you say ‘baby, i'm home’ when it's seven o'clock and you've only just opened the door, always eager to get to him, and also how you never fail to show up at his late-night studio sessions with home-cooked food for him and his hyungs. you make sure you don't interrupt, and he always works better with you around. because you were the first person outside his circle that he allowed himself to be vulnerable in front of, the night you asked him how he was and he just crumbled, and you wrote i love you on his arms with the marker you'd been painting with, until he started to believe it. but mostly because that time he decided to be the one to initiate physical contact, resting his head on your shoulder, he noticed how you tensed. he heard your heartbeat quicken, and was aware of the slow, calm way you tried to breathe. and when he heard changbin enter the room, as loud as ever, he had heard you threaten him with very unpleasant things if he made jisung wake up. he will never tell you that he was completely conscious, but he will love you just the same.

⠀ೀ　──── 　lee felix.

for felix it's the way you both drown under each other's skin whenever you can, creating an ethereal bubble around you. the way your bodies seek each other out, taking refuge next to each the other when you want to hide from the world because you've become saturated with emotions. it's him collapsing on top of you when he comes back from a really physical session, letting your fingers dance over his aching muscles. it's how you snuggle into his chest after an argument with your best friend, seeking his warmth, not resuming the video game until he makes sure that all you need is his physical touch to rest. he will get fuzzy to your words, like when you show him how you see him on those days when he's feeling less confident, but he'll leave kisses on your forehead every time he notices you moving and will stop the game as soon as it's over to be with you. or in your routine, bathing together. when one of you goes to fetch the other because you're feeling down, and you intertwine your fingers on the way to the bathroom, tenderly undressing each other, cuddling under the fine line that separates the real world from underwater peace of mind. maybe you lean against him, letting him massage your shoulders, or maybe he has his eyes closed, his head on your chest as you wash his hair. but you are always skin to skin, letting your bones melt, the soft vanilla gel washing away your sadness, leaving only wet kisses and sighs contained in the tarnished tiles of your bathroom.

⠀ೀ　──── 　kim seungmin.

for seungmin it's the way your smile plagues his day to day, your memory constantly on his mind. it's the way that when it comes to you, everything else doesn't matter. it's your chat; plagued by highlighted messages, pictures that have reminded him of you, audios with drafts of tunes, videos he forces jeongin to record when they're on a trip, titles of books you'd once mentioned you'd like to read ーto confirm before he buys them for youー, the review score of the movie you wanted to go to the cinema to see, a screenshot of your favourite artist's concert tickets. it's the way seungmin will do anything for you. from leaving you his hoodie at dusk, when the weather starts to cool down, to letting his phone bill run up, just to be able to hear your voice when he can't be with you. but none of that compares to the day you decided to move in together and he discovered he'd never been too much for you. he sat on your new shared bed, surrounded by packaging, and opened the shoebox that you had treated with the utmost care when you brought it up to your room from the car. every CD he had made for you, every polaroid and ticket, every note and receipt, even that attempted copy of his minho hyung's doodle he had made on a napkin, on one of your first dates. it's the way you've never made him feel like he's too much, matching his energy every step of the way.

⠀ೀ　──── 　yang jeongin.

for jeongin, it's the way you intertwined your lives without even thinking about it, accepting oddities and enjoying every moment. it's the way you started to memorise each other's likes and dislikes by sharing your time, like his favourite order of coffee or your favourite walk from home to work, which always passes in front of his work, so you could go together. it's the curve of your hip against the counter as you stir the food absently while you wait for him to come home, and the way you hang on his neck as soon as he walks in the door, covering his face with kisses. it's how clumsy he is, and all the band-aids you've had to put on, or vases to glue, but also how forgetful you are, and all those days when he's reminded you of important things he's written down on his phone for you. it's those almost nocturnal trips to do the shopping, because he never remembers and you always forget, and how you leave the house together, shoulder to shoulder, with knowing smiles on your faces.  the walk hand in hand to the supermarket that opens later in the evening, taking advantage of the lit pavements to take couple photos or, if there aren't many people in the street, to record a cute tiktok. the way you slide your arms across his chest in a back hug as you wait for the traffic lights to turn green and cross, and the process of convincing each other to buy your favourite snacks at the same time as the food, without going over budget. those quiet moments when he insists on being the one to carry the bags, and then you both place them together in the kitchen cupboards, whispering love songs.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ 𝑡𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍.

this is a big i'm sorry for being so out of here rn, hope you guys understand :((

@skzms , @starlostastronaut , @rylea08 , @atinyniki , @jazziwritesthings , @manuosorioh , @hanjsquokka , @linosssss , @babybearcubbs , @kayleefriedchicken , gnabnahc097 , @caitlyn98s , @reignessance , @starlostseungmin , @bbokari711 , @nebugalaxy , @nxtt2-u , @strawberrysworld26 , @catiuskaa , @lyramundana , @jisunglyricist , @jisuperboard , @choixlia , seungminniez , juuh-07 , ayyonoona , @seolarzone , @my-neurodivergent-world

( + ) @katzline , lixxpix

ㅤㅤ© stayconnecteed ★ do not copy, translate, repost or share this work as yours on other platforms ! consider leaving a comment or reblogging.

[theladyofbloodshed]

SJM Romance Week - Day 1 - First Date

@sjmromanceweek

With a fear of flying gripping her tight, Nesta just wants to be left alone to spiral in her panic - that is until a swaggering man holds her hand during take off.

The sweating had begun the second she reached the security line which was never a good sign. Nesta tried to act calm, tried not to keep glancing over her shoulders at the security agents as they scanned bags and bodies. Every damn time she made the machine bleep despite ensuring she had no metal on her, as if the machine knew she was panicking and wanted to enhance her worry. True to history, the machine went off and she stepped onto the painted feet for a guard to wave their wand over her. She didn’t know why she was so worried about the security part; Nesta wasn’t smuggling drugs.

Two hours of agony followed.

The duty-free shops didn’t hold her appeal although she’d toyed with buying alcohol to take the edge off things. She’d taken a Xanax already and mixing wouldn’t go well. A book. A new book to keep her occupied, that would do. She checked her gate, double checked it then triple checked it. Lurked near it way before it was boarding time with her new book clutched in her clammy hands. Nesta mentally catalogued her day. She’d watered the plants, Gwyn already had the spare key to water them when needed, she’d turned everything off, locked the door because she’d checked multiple times, had her travel documents on her phone and printed, had only taken hand luggage so it wouldn’t be lost. Everything would be fine. Of course it would be. She was a planner. But she couldn’t plan who was piloting the plane. Couldn’t plan the weather. Couldn’t plan if a freak bolt of lightning struck the plane and zapped them off the face of the earth. Nesta swigged down mouthfuls of sparkling water. She hated it but it made her burp and that alleviated her churning stomach.

When the agents called for boarding, Nesta was first in the queue. Priority boarding had been purchased so she could panic in her seat. Her legs trembled up the metal stairs to board the plane. Planes flew every day. Hundreds of them. All crisscrossing across the sky. And she’d be on the unlucky anomaly. Because of course she would. Nothing ever ran smoothly in her life.

With an eye mask on and a mindfulness podcast blaring in her ears, Nesta tried to block out the rest of the boarding. She was vaguely aware of bodies moving down the aisle or slipping into seats behind or in front of hers, the judder of chairs or slam of the overhead storage. When an elbow knocked into her to take the seat, she didn’t react, just kept listening to the soothing voice telling her to focus on her breathing.

Fingers tapped on her arm repeatedly until she peeled off her mask.

A man with dark-hair tugged into a loose bun at the nape of his neck was gesturing to her headphones. An air steward was watching, life jacket held aloft for the display. ‘Switch to airplane mode or turn off your devices for take off please.’

Nesta fumbled with her phone, hands trembling to change it. She listened to the safety warnings, terror soaking in.

‘Can we swap seats? I don’t want to look out of the window.’

‘Sorry, sweetheart, but I need to leg room in the aisle.’ The man gestured to his broad thighs and long, muscled legs.

Nesta knew well enough that if she even dreamed of closing the hatch on the window, a flight attendant would snap it back up so she could see just how high they were. Once the safety demo had finished, Nesta plugged back into her bubble. Her belt was on but what use was that against a plane crash?

As soon as she felt motion, Nesta was gripping her seat belt as if clinging onto it might save her. Her hands trembled, tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth in her fear as the plane approached the runway.

Then a hand reached for hers. Calloused fingers slid against her own.

Nesta ripped her mask and headphones away in one fell swoop.

‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘You seemed nervous. Thought you’d want a hand to hold.’

The man’s hazel eyes fell to their hands, still entwined then Nesta yanked that away too.

And then the plane was barrelling along the runway, the force pinning her to her seat so she grasped for that hand again. He gave a low chuckle and cradled hers with both of his. Nesta screwed her eyes shut, not wanting to glimpse the moment they took flight or the way the land below would become more and more distant. At Emerie’s encouragement, she’d watched take offs on YouTube, had even tried to play a flight simulator but both of them had freaked her out just as much.

‘Is it just take off or landing too?’

Her words wouldn’t come out. The whole thing was traumatic. The only reason she was flying was because her sister was due to a drop a baby boy any day and Nesta had agreed to be there for the delivery and first couple of weeks of his life. Without a maternal figure, Feyre had decided that Nesta was the closest thing – ignoring the fact neither of them had a clue about babies.

‘What does that beeping mean?’ she hissed.

The man just brushed his thumb in a circle against the back of her hand. ‘It means we can take our seat belts off, sweetheart.’

Reluctantly, she forced open her eyes. People were already releasing their belts and heading to the bathroom. She had held her own urination on every flight. Only poor planners didn’t go before take-off. It would be just her luck that a plane would meet a fiery end whilst she was sat on the toilet.

He leaned over to slide the hatch down, hiding the outside world from view then his fingers headed towards her lap. Nesta was too stunned to react even as he undid her belt.

‘And what happens if this plane starts to plummet from the sky?’

‘I’m sure you can figure out how to put your belt back on,’ he replied, an easy grin on his face. At her terse look, he added, ‘Relax. This plane has never crashed before.’

Nesta busied herself with her book despite the undercurrent of fear threatening to drown her every time she thought too deeply about how the plane remained airborne. The man next to her read the in-flight magazine then began drumming on the fold-out table.

‘Do you mind?’

‘Have you got a request?’

Nesta’s brows drew together. ‘Stop drumming. It’s irritating.’

When the trolley of beverages was a few rows away, he turned to her. ‘What are you having?’

‘Nothing. If I drink, I will need the bathroom. I am not getting up or going there and tempting fate.’

He gave a bellow of a laugh. ‘You’ve thought of everything. You know if the plane crashes, it will make no difference if you’re sat by me or on the toilet.’

Her face must have paled because he added, ‘But it will fly safely to our destination.’

A handsome, swaggering smile was offered to the air stewardess when she approached. ‘Two coffees, chips, M&Ms and whatever drink has the most sugar.’

There was a veritable feast laid out in front of him, but a coffee was placed on the little table that he unfolded at her seat. The M&M pouch was torn open and shook in front of her face.

‘Go on, treat yourself.’

‘Do you just fly around the country and trap women in airline seats so they can’t get away?’

He ran a hand against his black hair. ‘Should I have gotten the peanut ones?’

Nesta took a few and tipped them into her mouth.

‘Careful, sweetheart, you don’t want to choke while the plane is crashing.’

‘You are not funny,’ she complained.

‘When they need to identify your body, what name will go with it?’

This time, she nearly did choke on her handful of M&Ms. ‘Are you serious? Is that how you’re asking my name?’

He spread out his hands, evidently pleased with that terrible line, awaiting her answer.

‘Nesta.’

‘Cassian.’

They chatted as the plane continued on its journey, drinking their coffee and eating his snacks. They shared the can of coke, her inhabitations well and truly lowered by the Xanax if she was willing to swap saliva and drink from the same can as a stranger. At the first signs of turbulence, Cassian was there to hold her hands and murmur embarrassing stories about his friends to stop fear paralysing her.

Once the cabin crew had swept through to collect the final few items of rubbish on the short flight, Nesta was clamming up again. She knew what was to follow.

‘Cabin crew, prepare for landing.’

Clouds streamed past the window, adding to the turbulence. Nesta was too scared to even reach for her mask which had fallen on the floor.

Cassian wound his fingers into hers. ‘I’ve got you, sweetheart. It will be okay.’

Every bump had her gritting her teeth so hard, it was a wonder that one of her molars didn’t crack. Cassian just kept talking in a low voice about inane topics to try and shave the edges off of her fear. His arm wound around her shoulders, forehead touching her temple, whilst his other hand still held hers.

‘This is the nicest first date I’ve ever had.’

That snapped something in her. ‘This is not a date.’

The nose of the plane dipped and her stomach lurched from the motion.

‘We’ve had coffee and snacks. We’re holding hands. You’ve shared your deepest fears of dying in a blazing crash. To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.’

Nesta ground out, ‘I hate the Smiths.’

‘Everybody does,’ he said.

With a bump that made her squeeze Cassian tighter, the plane landed. It sped down the runway and Nesta kept her eyes firmly shut for the entire duration until Cassian murmured that they had stopped.

‘You see, a safe flight after all.’

‘Fortune was cruel enough to put me next to you. A crash would have really tipped it over the edge.’

Cassian lifted her bag down for her, his black t-shirt rising to expose a strip of his taut muscled stomach. His own was a well-used duffle which he slung over his shoulder.

They walked together towards the airport building.

‘Do I get your number then?’

Nesta cocked a brow at his boldness. ‘Absolutely not. I’d rather be the one that got away.’

‘Every flight I’ll think of you, wondering if you’re stealing another man’s snacks.’

Nesta pressed her fingers to her lips and blew him a kiss as they parted into two different lines at security.

The man had to be mad, she decided as she passed through passport control. No sane man would just start holding a stranger’s hand – and she was an idiot for reciprocating that touch. But it did sting a bit that he’d accepted her refusal so easily. After how tactile and caring he’d been, she thought maybe Cassian would have pestered her again for her number or her socials. Whatever. His loss.

Her fear of flying meant that she’d sweated through her deodorant so she hurried into the bathroom to change her top, clean her arm pits with a baby wipe then slather on more deodorant to appear a little less dishevelled. Nesta spotted Cassian waiting at the baggage carousal for more belongings to come rolling around so she scurried past, avoiding his attention. Fantasy was more fun than reality. Maybe he’d be her one that got away.

After passing through anything to declare, Feyre was waiting for her. The huge belly wasn’t a surprise but it was still a shock to see her little sister so heavily pregnant.

‘Wow, look at you!’

‘I am peeing every ten minutes,’ she replied, holding up her belly.

‘Hi, Rhys.’

‘Nesta,’ he said, swooping to press a kiss on her cheek.

They’d met once. And it had been awkward as hell when Nesta realised he was eight years older than her. He wasn’t the sort of man she’d ever choose, but Feyre seemed happy. They were on “Christmas Card closeness” usually so Feyre’s call asking her to come and be close for the birth had meant a lot. Meant enough that she was willing to fly two days later.

‘Where’s the rest of your luggage?’

‘I had it sent ahead.’

Feyre patted Rhys on the arm. ‘Nesta hates flying. Everything is planned to an inch of its life. No detours, no unnecessary waiting. On the plane, off the plane.’

Even being in an airport, with its constant business, had Nesta itchy. ‘Shall we go?’

‘Do you want to head to the car, ladies? I’m worried about you standing for so long, darling.’

Feyre shook her head, golden hair cascading from the motion. ‘I’m fine. Cassian won’t take that long.’

‘Cassian?’

Nesta could practically hear the alarm bells ringing in her head.

‘My brother,’ said Rhys.

‘He works on an oil rig but he’s home for a couple of months now so you two can argue over who is the best uncle or auntie,’ teased Feyre.

There he was, striding through the doors, duffle bag slung over one shoulder while pushing a cart loaded with three more bags. His eyes snapped straight to her, a slow grin spreading over his face.

They said their greetings, Nesta and Cassian pretending that she hadn’t just been clinging to him in terror on the flight here then they fell into step together, walking slightly behind Rhysand and Feyre.

‘Fortune favours you,’ he murmured.

‘Did you know who I am?’

Cassian gave a hearty laugh that had Rhys glancing his shoulder at them. ‘Not at first. You looked familiar then you said your name and I realised you were Feyre’s sister.’

‘Lucky me,’ she grumbled.

With one hand pushing the trolley, he slung the other arm around her shoulders. ‘So, about that second date.’

[notyourprof]

F1 Explains – 9 November 2023 – Notes/Summary

When Em @powerful-owl first put out her call for primers (what feels like a hundred years ago now), I swore I had just recently listened to a description of what a race weekend was like for drivers on one of my podcasts, almost certainly F1 Explains. I listened back to the two episodes I thought it might be on, and figured I’d go ahead and take and share some notes on everything, in case there is some useful info in there for others. It turns out I had mis-remembered, because the discussion was about what a race weekend is like for media folks, not drivers, but I think it’s still useful because it does give information about what the drivers’ media obligations are.

In general, I highly recommend the F1 Explains podcast (previously called Formula Why), especially to new F1 fans who want to learn more details about the sport. Katie Osborne and Christian Hewgill co-host it, and on most episodes they pick a single topic (e.g. racing in the rain, street circuits, driver training regimens, etc.) and do a deep dive with a few different experts. But they also do semi-regular “quick-fire” episodes where they cover a bunch of questions that maybe don’t need a full episode to answer. Former Aston Martin strategist and current F1 + Sky Sports strategy analyst Bernie (Bernadette) Collins is a regular guest expert on the quick-fire episodes. (She’s also a regular in MY HEART, because she is amazing and wonderful and has the best Irish accent.) There are a few other rotating experts as well, usually from the F1/Sky Sports family.

Anyways, here is my write-up of the answer to the question about what a race weekend is like for media, which was on the episode from 9 November 2023:

Q: What are race weekends like for media and broadcasters? Are there dedicated times the media can speak to drivers? A: F1 is one of the sports where media actually get the most availability of drivers for the media. Thursday is Media Day. Each team puts out a list of times, usually a 5-20 minute window, where TV or print media can come along and ask questions. For TV it’s called a “scrum” where the media are in a sort of arc around the driver with all of their cameras pointed at the driver and they take turns asking questions. Written media is similar. If the driver misses that time for whatever reason, there usually aren’t any backup times. Media can also request one-to-one interviews at a separate time, but that is negotiated and set weeks and weeks in advance. Each team puts aside one hour for media time on a Thursday that includes the TV and written media scrums as well as any one-to-one interviews. Additionally, every weekend there are two press conferences held by the FIA on Media Day. Ten drivers do the press conference with written media where the drivers are all sat together at a desk or on couches answering questions. The other ten drivers do the TV pen, which is a U-shape with all of the TV crews standing around the outside and each driver works their way around the U talking to each TV crew. Each crew gets a maximum of two questions per driver. After each practice session, qualifying, and the race itself, the drivers will do the TV pen again and speak to written media. The top three finishers also do the post-race press conference.

So feel free to use this information when writing fic, but also remember that you don’t have to have all of your facts absolutely perfectly correct! It’s called fiction for a reason!

There were a lot of other interesting questions and answers in the episode, which I also took notes on, and I will put those below the cut. (Read on to find out which driver has Strong Feelings about the roundabouts near Milton Keynes, and which world champions have accidentally pulled into the wrong pit boxes before, LOL.)

Is this the kind of thing that is interesting and useful? I have a summary written up already for the 2 November 2023 episode, because I thought the "what is race weekend like" question might be in that one, but this is already super long. Should I post the notes on that episode in a different post? I can do notes/summaries for other episodes if that's something people are interested in, but I have a bad history of spending a lot of time documenting things in fandom that no one else ever uses or looks at, so I'm trying to...better allocate my limited spare time.

F1 Explains – 9 November 2023 Quick-fire questions with Bernie Collins & Lawrence Barretto

First, a sidenote: Daniel Ricciardo once did a shoey from one of Lawrence Baretto’s shoes. Daniel signed it and Lawrence has it on desk now.

Q: What construction and logistics have to go into a new street circuit, and how to teams prepare for a brand new track?

A: The streets used for the race track have to be re-laid with new tarmac, there has to be coordination with street opening and closing, hotels and other businesses around the circuit, etc. There is a full episode on racetrack design. To prepare for a new track, teams look closely at historical weather data (including temperatures and wind). They’ll load 2D and sometimes 3D scans of the track into their simulators, although often there isn’t full information yet because the final track hasn’t been finished. Lots of simulations and calculations in an attempt to get as much data as they can in advance. There’s also a full episode about how simulators work.

Q: How important is the engine manufacturer? Are they a glorified sponsor that provides an F1-approved generic engine or are there real technical differences between the engines from different suppliers?

A: There are differences between power units from different manufacturers. It also gives them a chance to really stretch themselves and bring in expertise from all around the company (e.g. if they also manufacture jet engines) and to hopefully get some good PR that will lead to more people buying their street cars. In 2023 for the first time, each engine manufacturer showed their engine off to the press to show the differences between each unit. 2023 engine manufacturers were Ferrari, Renault, Mercedes, and Honda. In 2026, Ford and Audi will join as new manufacturers.

Q: Why do drivers and engineers do track walks? Do all teams and drivers do this?

A: Not all drivers do it, some of them will do a run or go out on a scooter. Reasons to do it include looking for changes from last year (new bumps, changes to gravel or curbs (kerbs), etc.) as well as having a bit of uninterrupted time for drivers and their race engineers to talk to each other. Also can be helpful to the commentators/presenters. Helps everyone build/remember their muscle memory of the track if they’ve been there before.

Q: Is F1 using AI? Could it be used for race strategy?

A: Yes, most teams are already doing machine learning in calculations and simulations, but for now human input is still required (and probably always will be).

(Repeating this here because this is where it was in the episode) Q: What are race weekends like for media and broadcasters? Are there dedicated times the media can speak to drivers?

A: F1 is one of the sports where media actually get the most availability of drivers for the media. Thursday is Media Day. Each team puts out a list of times, usually a 5-20 minute window, where TV or print media can come along and ask questions. For TV it’s called a “scrum” where the media are in a sort of arc around the driver with all of their cameras pointed at the driver and they take turns asking questions. Written media is similar. If the driver misses that time for whatever reason, there usually aren’t any backup times. Media can also request one-to-one interviews at a separate time, but that is negotiated and set weeks and weeks in advance. Each team puts aside one hour for media time on a Thursday that includes the TV and written media scrums as well as any one-to-one interviews. Additionally, every weekend there are two press conferences held by the FIA on Media Day. Ten drivers do the press conference with written media where the drivers are all sat together at a desk or on couches answering questions. The other ten drivers do the TV pen, which is a U-shape with all of the TV crews standing around the outside and each driver works their way around the U talking to each TV crew. Each crew gets a maximum of two questions per driver. After each practice session, qualifying, and the race itself, the drivers will do the TV pen again and speak to written media. The top three finishers also do the post-race press conference.

Q: How much interaction is there between broadcasting teams from different countries?

A: A lot. They all see each other regularly so they get to know each other, and they often chat amongst themselves to communicate about what drivers have said to their home broadcasters, because they usually give longer/more detailed answers when they’re speaking in their native language.

Q: How does breaking news get shared with everyone?

A: Press releases used to be printed out on paper and handed out in the Media Center. Now each F1 team has a WhatsApp group specifically for media so they send info that way (e.g. about driver availability for interviews or problems with the cars) in addition to email and social media.

Q: Is there a dedicated space for journalists to write up their race reports?

A: Yes, it’s called the Media Center, there are desks, TV screens, food, and drinks (especially coffee!). The press conference room is in the Media Center as well, adjacent to the work area where journalists can sit and write.

Q: Has Bernie ever had a debrief delayed [when she was a team strategist] due to media interviews running long?

A: Many of the debriefs have been delayed by drivers, and blaming it on the media is an easy out when maybe it was actually the driver who stopped to get a coffee or whatever. Each F1 driver has their own press officer who helps them meet all of their press responsibilities. Often the drivers will talk longer than they are supposed to; Alex Albon and Oscar Piastri are specifically named as drivers who are very good at going off on tangents and talking to the media for too long. One time, Alex spent a good amount of time ranting about the roundabouts in Milton Keynes near the Red Bull factory is based.

Q: How is the order of the garages in the pit lane decided? Are there advantages to being in certain positions and does it play into race strategy?

A: At most tracks, the garages are in order based on how the teams finished in the constructor’s championship the previous year, so over a given season, the garages on either side of your teams don’t change. Sometimes the previous champions are right at the pit lane entry, sometimes near the exit, that depends on the track. If you’re right at the entry, it’s easier to come in and pit (i.e. there aren’t any other team’s mechanics in your way), but more difficult to get back out on track. Near the pit exit, the opposite is true (harder to get in, easier to get out). Depending on the track, it can be helpful to be right near the pit exit (e.g. if you want to get right out on track with clear air in front of you, Bernie mentions Monaco) or further back (e.g. if it’s better to have some other cars go first in qualifying, Bernie mentions Monza). The only exception to the rule of “garages are in order of last year’s championship standings” is Silverstone, where the pit lane is at about the same height as the track in the middle but at either end the pit lane is lower than the track so visibility is impaired. Because of this, the garages in the center (with a good view of the track) are considered most desirable and are thus taken by the top teams.

Christian Hewgill points out how surprising/impressive it is that drivers don’t pull into the wrong pit box more often. For example, at the 2011 Chinese Grand Prix, Jenson Button accidentally parked in the wrong garage and it cost him the lead in the race to Sebastian Vettel. Bernie points out that teams have done a lot of things to help drivers get to the correct pit lanes. It often happens when drivers switch teams (e.g. Lewis Hamilton once went into the McLaren pit when he had just moved to Mercedes, Sebastian Vettel went to the Ferrari pit once after he had switched to Aston Martin).

Q: What is parc fermé? What are the restrictions? How are they enforced?

A: Parc fermé is a period of time in which teams are not allowed to touch their cars or make any changes related to performance, however they can make changes related to safety. It promotes sustainability and rewards teams that do well in practice figuring out what works best for that track. During sprint weekends, teams only have one practice before the cars go into parc fermé, which makes it particularly difficult to adjust the cars to the track. Cars do often get taken apart and reassembled while in parc fermé to check components, clean things, etc., but the F1/FIA scrutineers will put stickers on the car parts to make sure the same parts are used when reassembling the car.

Q: What is an anti-stall? How is it different from a regular stall?

A: (Note that I am basically quoting Bernie verbatim here because I’ve never driven a manual/stick-shift car and don’t understand the details of how they work!) An anti-stall is very similar to a normal stall, but F1 have come up with clever ways to make sure the car engines don’t actually stall. In a regular manual car, if you were to let the clutch out too much or not give it enough throttle and the car stalled, the engine would cut out. At the starting grid, the driver might do the same thing (e.g. not give it enough throttle) and the car might stall, but the engine doesn’t actually cut out. (Another note: it’s not explicitly stated, but I think this is a safety thing so that even if the car stalls and doesn’t get a super fast start, the driver will be able to accelerate pretty quickly after, instead of sitting on the grid unable to move while the cars behind start crashing into the stalled car.)

Q: Why do F1 teams change names?

A: OK I started writing this in a way that makes sense beyond the short answers given on the podcast, but it really needs to be a separate post. The short answer to “why do teams change names?” is money. (Shocker!) 

Sometimes a team that also makes something else wants to promote one of their brands, e.g. Renault rebranding to Alpine, which is Renault’s sports car brand, or Toro Rosso rebranding to AlphaTauri, which is Red Bull’s clothing line. 

Sometimes a team will have a sponsor who pays enough money to be a title sponsor, e.g. Oracle Red Bull Racing or the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team, where Oracle and Petronas are completely separate companies that pay a lot of money in addition to providing relevant expertise to their teams. 

(In the other post, I’ll get into Sauber/Alfa Romeo/Stake/Kick, don’t worry. 😂)

Q: How is the number of laps in a Grand Prix determined?

A: The number of laps for a given circuit is however many laps are needed to get to a 305 km (~190 mi) race distance. The exception is Monaco where the distance is 260 km (~162 mi).

[gauloiseblue]

Ruined Date

He should've turned on the TV this morning.

He never knew he'd ever need any information from the weather podcast.

If he had listened to the podcast, maybe you and him wouldn't be here—in the bus station—needing to take shelter from the raging storm. He scolded himself for letting you get drenched and shivering because of the strong wind. The rain itself wasn't any less cruel to both of you. The harmless drops of rain have changed its form into bullets of water against his skin, thanks to the help of the strong wind.

The date he had planned consisted of him taking you to a nice dinner, then he'll take you to a stargazing spot up above the city. There's a small spot on the cliff near this city that could offer the city view, the faraway ocean, and the starry night all in one spot. He had thought this'd be the perfect date until the first drop of rain fell on the nape of his neck when you and him were halfway through the path to the cliff.

The bus will arrive in 12 minutes, and the storm hasn't shown any sign of stopping. He had you curled in his arm, seeking warmth from his body. Even with the infamous Jotaro's coat and his strong arms wrapped on your body, you can't help but feel colder as the rain begins to soak through the fabric of his coat to your outfit.

Now you understand why everyone said the weather in Japan is really unpredictable.

The stars were visible when the two of you two finished the dinner. But when you and him arrived at the entrance of the stargazing spot, the sky had been covered by dark clouds. You had a bad feeling about it, yet you shook it off and thought maybe the clouds were only passing by. You were wrong.

The sounds of rain hitting the asphalt fill the void of the absence of Jotaro's voice. You knew he's blaming himself right now but you too took part in this--you did receive a warning from yourself, but you chose to ignore it.

You loosen up his embrace and reaching out to touch the side of his face, your voice is barely heard, but you know he had heard you,

"I'm fine.. Don't worry about me." He answers with a heavy sigh,

"It's not your fault, y'know." You stroke his cheekbone, assuring him, "we can't control the weather."

"But I could've known better to not take you to somewhere far from the city."

You snorted, cracking a small smile on your lips. To be honest, when he murmurs to you about the place he'd take you after dinner, you can't help but feel your heart swell with affection. He, Jotaro Kujo, has planned and is willing to take you to somewhere romantic had you thrown away your cautiousness. You didn't even worry about how your feet would be sore after the walk to the cliff, the mosquito bites, hell, you didn't even think about the danger of walking in the forest at night at all.

He noticed you tighten your hug around his bulky chest, repressing a giggle that bubbles in your throat.

"What's so funny?"

"No, it's just.." You suppress your incoming laughter, "I had imagined us in every possible cheesy scenario in my head, especially when we're dancing in the rain."

But not now, not when you and him are in the middle of a storm, with icy cold drops of rain constantly touching your skin.

You were too occupied with your thoughts and swelled heart that you didn't realize Jotaro had closed the distance between you and him, he tilted your head up until your lips and his are touching—

There's a sudden blinding light coming from the road, the roaring engine startled you as your eyes winced for a better vision to see what's behind those lights.

"Ah, the bus is finally here." Jotaro informed you before pulling you towards the bus. The tall vehicle is slowing down, slowly approaching both of you. The automatic door is sliding open, welcoming both of you to come aboard. You both gladly accept the welcome and hop into the bus.

"Welcome, passengers! Crazy weather eh?" The driver of the bus greeted me.

"Yes, it was rather.. Unexpected." You replied, Jotaro agreed by tugging down his completely soaked hat.

"Glad I came to rescue." He laughs a bit, closing the automatic door and starts to drive away from the deserted bus station.

There's no one inside the bus except you, him, and the driver—unsurprisingly, since no one wants to go out in the middle of the storm.

You took a seat near the window as you freed yourself from his drenched coat, trying to warm yourself by rubbing both of your palms together. You could feel a warmth building up on your palms.

"Need help?" Jotaro asked

"Oh, no, no. I can do it myself."

"Yare yare, gimme your hands."

"But-"

Before you could reply to him, he already pulled both of your hands and gently placed them onto his palms. You felt a pair of invisible hands landing on your freezing palms, radiating a heat which instantly melts away the cold feeling on your fingertips.

You let out a content sigh, both of Jotaro's and Star Platinum's hands have washed away all the cold from the rain off your hands. Even though you can't see the invisible stand he had told you about, you can feel Star's hands rub on your palms, up to your wrists, until they disappear and move to cup your face, your cheek instantly lit up as you feel a pair of invisible lips had landed on yours.

"Feeling better?"

He commands Star to retreat after giving you a chaste kiss and focuses on you fully by caressing the high point of your cheeks, gently wipes away the remaining drops of rain on your face.

"Yes, better."

The smile on your lips is so wide that you thought your face would split into two. To have Jotaro showing the gentle side of him is truly a rare moment for you to experience, and you always want to cherish this moment. He had told you to be patient with him in a relationship.

So you did.

And you're grateful you did.

You leaned your head onto his broad shoulder happily. He had wrapped his hand carefully around your shoulders and provided a comfortable cushion for you to rest upon.

The comfort he gives distracts you from a light dust of red on his cheek. He pulled down his hat and muttered out his signature catchphrase.

Kujo's residence is about 20 minutes away from your current place, but you didn't mind spending the rest of the time in comfortable silence as weariness began to seep into your body. You rested your eyes close and let your other senses take over the available slot left by your sight. The sound of the rain against the window of the bus constantly fills your sense of hearing, every turn and stop the bus makes barely noticeable to you, but you are aware of some arrival and departure from the bus passengers during the trip.

You felt yourself dozing off for a moment before a soft nudge on your shoulder slowly lifted the fog of your unconsciousness away. You groggily return to your sense of sight and look around just to find the bus is stopping at your destination, luckily the storm has subdued into drizzle. You groan softly, your mind instantly prioritizes you to get a nice, hot shower after you arrive at Jotaro's house. The unpleasant feeling of the wet clothes that stick onto your skin is uncomfortable whenever you move around. Not mentioning his damp coat on your shoulders. Jotaro noticed your discomfort, thus he took your hand and guided you out from the bus after paying the transportation fee. You politely bid the driver a good night and receive a smile in return.

"Be safe on your way home!"

"Thank you sir." You waved him goodbye.

His smiles widened as he waved to the both of you before closing the automatic door. The big vehicle is driven away, leaving the two of you alone in the bus station.

Jotaro placed his hand on your cheek to draw your attention, and you turned your face to him. The corner of his lips curled in amusement.

"You're so friendly to everyone, were you forgetting about me?"

"Um, no i didn't—" You blushed at his words, you just realize you've been watching the bus as it went further away from the bus station you're currently in.

Chuckle erupted from his throat, he once again took your hand and dragged you out from the shelter.

"Come on, we should get home."

You nod to him, you begin to match his wide steps but it's a struggle to keep your pace equal to his.

An unspoken compassion from him starts to become noticeable as his steps are slowing down. You felt you were instantly taken back to the very first time he held your hand back in your adolescence. The butterfly wings flutter on the inside of your stomach as you're overwhelmed by his form of affection, not that you complained.

The small gesture he had tried to show you held a lot of meanings. Jotaro Kujo wasn't a man of affection, but alas you were quite the opposite. At first, he's very hesitant about being in a relationship, afraid that he'd somehow accidentally hurt you. It took a lot of convincing and encouragement for him to gradually learn how to show his emotions up until the point he even lets you see him when he's emotionally vulnerable. You were glad you're able to receive his love at his own pace.

—

The street grew quieter as both of you walked into the passageway where his home is located. The rain stopped about a minute ago, but the sky hasn't cleared out from Cumulonimbus clouds.

"We're here." He stated.

You looked up, realizing you've been distracted by your thoughts till the Gate of Kujo's residence went unnoticed by you until now.

"Oh, yeah, great." You awkwardly replied, he must've noticed you've been dazed out the whole time.

The sound of metal groans from the gate's hinge was produced when he pushed the gate open. He steps aside, gesturing to you to enter his home first. You gladly step inside.

His house never ceased to amaze you. The traditional Japanese garden, with stone pathways that lead you to the wooden-old style house, looks exquisite.

Jotaro walked in right after you, he locked his gate before approaching the small box of switches. The flick of switch immediately turned on the tōrō that embellished alongside the pathway. Illuminating the path to his house.

You watched them in awe as the second flick of switch made the lamps under the canopy above you light up dimly.

"How long are you gonna stand there?" He called you out, instantly snapped you out from your thoughts. 

Damn, even if this was the hundredth time of you visiting his house, you're still nervous about going in. Not because of the intimidating presence of a huge house, but rather about what'd happen afterwards when the two of you are alone inside his room.

"Coming!" You jog towards him, he snorts at your clumsy steps.

The slide door squeaked against the strong push of his hand, the dim hallways greets you and him as both of you went inside. He sat on the small stair at the entrance of the house to free his soaked feet from the wet shoes. You imitate him as you pull your feet out from your flat shoes, cringed at the squishy sounds made by the foam parts of your shoes.

"Jojo, would you mind if I take a bath first?" You asked, insecure about the possible odor being produced by your feet if you don't wash it immediately.

"Sure, I'll lend you my clothes."

Wait.. Your brain is still processing his offer.

Your cheek bursts into a dark shade of red when realization hits you. You will be wearing his clothes as a change, but there's no possibility that he owned a pair of bras.

And women's underwear.

"Uh, i just— i just remember—" You stuttered, unable to assemble the question you wanted to ask, "do you— by any chance could lend me, you know,"

"Lend what?"

"Uh, that thing." His brows furrowed deeper as the thing you asked from him isn't clear enough. You groaned, he didn't get the message,

"... A spare underwear." The last part of your word came out as a whisper.

"Oh."

His response was so flat, you cursed your awkwardness that makes a fool out of you by exaggerating the matter.

But your request did make a part of him twitch, but it wasn't anywhere on his hand.

"Right," He pulled down his hat to conceal half of his face, "it's not a woman's underwear, but I do have spares, if you like."

"Thank you." You shut the conversation off.

Awkward silence follows afterward.

Jotaro began to walk inside his house without words. Soft thud of footsteps have joined the sound of the night. A loud croak of a frog and buzzing sounds from moth wings filled the night as both of you walked through the veranda of his house.

Just like a navigator implanted in his head, he walks around his house on autopilot. The both of you passed the empty living room, the kitchen, the tea room, until he stopped in front of a room you're familiar with.

The shōji slides open, revealing Jotaro's spacious room inside. The tatami feels nice under your feet when you step inside. You follow your feet as they carry you to the electrical switch of this room's lamp. The warm light is flooding the room instantly.

Jotaro closed the shōji with a loud slam. Surprisingly, you're used to how unaware he'd handle things around him at full strength. Sometimes you think he can't control the extra power he got from Star Platinum yet, but you know he won't admit it.

He disappeared to the cubicle of his wardrobe and came back with a pile of fresh clothes as he offered them to you.

"Here, take it."

"Thank you." You extended your hands to grab the clothes from him.

"Go on and take a shower." He reached for his hat, taking it off and tossing it to the nearest table. "I'll be in the kitchen. Tea?"

"Yes please." You lit up at his offer. A hot beverage after a nice shower sounds very pleasant.

"Alright."

You stand still as you watch the shōji slide open and closed once again. The silhouette of him appears on the semi translucent glass, until it disappears around the corner.

You quickly took a step towards the bathroom.

The fluorescent light filled the room as you turned the switch on. The bright white porcelains dominated your vision. You quickly stored your changes in the usual place and discarded your wet clothes from your body. Your skin felt moist after your body naturally let any liquid seep through the barrier of your skin. You frowned at the sight of your wrinkled fingertips and your reflection in the mirror. Your hair is matted because of the drying rainwater. It's gonna take a long time to smoothen your tousled hair.

You step into the shower room, closing the glass door behind and turn on the warm shower. It didn't take a long time before the cold water turned into warm water on your hand, the steam from the water instantly relaxed your muscles as you stood closer to the pouring water and let them wash away the remaining coldness of the rain. You sigh contently  when the temperature of the room has risen up to the point where it feels like you just curled up inside a blanket in the middle of cold night. When the cold is gone, you begin to scrub away the impurity off your skin with soap.

Great, now I'll smell exactly like Jotaro, you thought to yourself as you poured an appropriate amount of shampoo onto your head, the smell of him quickly invaded your nostrils as soon as you rub the shampoo on your hair. Bubbles quickly form on your head as you gently massage your scalp. His shampoo does feel a little too drying for your hair, but it's better than just washing your hair with only water.

The faint sound of the bedroom's door slid open indicating that he's back. You quickly wash up yourself before turning off the faucet, not wanting to keep him waiting for his turn. You step out from the foggy shower cubicle and pull the towel from the hanger. The towel is now wrapped around your body after you use it to wipe yourself dry. The temperature outside the shower room does feel a little colder.

This would be the first time you fully dressed in his clothes.

You take a look at yourself in the mirror again, tidying your hair a bit before fetching the pile of clothes inside the hanging cabinet on the wall.

The grey underwear he gave you is bigger than your size, not to mention the unusual bagginess around the crotch. You blushed at the thought of something usually nestled inside this brief. It did feel uncomfortable, but other than that, the shirt and his shorts felt comfortable on your skin. The smell of wooden wardrobe clinged on the shirt he had given you, a hint of his cologne bursts out everytime the fabric brushes on your skin. Oh, you definitely smell like Jotaro right now.

Your nipples are visible under the clothes, you cringed when you feel them peaked because of the coldness of the room. You shook your head as you draped your towel on your shoulders, covering the visible part of your nipples.

You unlocked the bathroom door, walked out with the dirty clothes in your hand.

"Jotaro, it's your turn." You call him out.

Your eyes instantly spotted him on the small spot in the center of the room. He had placed a portable short-legged table in front of him with two cups of tea settled on the table. The rain did a favor to you, the rainwater that wet his clothes made his shirt clings onto the skin underneath. Which exhibit the outline of his forearms and torso.

He took a sip of his tea before setting it down on the table. He gets up and grabs a new towel before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind.

You gently knock on them, "Jojo, could you hand me your dirty clothes? I'll wash them."

He grunts as an answer, the sound of rustling shirt and rattling belt clasps follow afterwards.

The door is opened for the second time, this time with a hand sticking out with a bundle of clothes in the grip.

"Here." He handed you his laundry. You let him place them down on top of your hand,

"You're welcome." You giggled as you took it and headed out to the laundering room, feeling a blush creep on your cheek.

The washing machine that belongs in this household is quite similar to yours. The only difference is it's a lot bigger and elegant compared to what you have in your house. You separate the whites and begin to do the chores.

On your way back to his room after finished laundering the dirty clothes was awfully quiet. You looked up to the sky from the veranda and spotted a dim moonlight behind the clouds. The storm has passed, leaving the sky overcast with just a thin layer of clouds.

You slide the room's door open, surprised when you see him currently sitting beside the table with a small towel resting on his head. He already changed into comfortable pants and only pants. Exhibiting his ungodly muscles of his torso and after-shower skin that looks soft if you touch them. 

You shook your urge to run your fingers onto his moist skin off as you tried to distract yourself from the view in front of you. The fact that he took a bath in less than 5 minutes is questionable. Did he mistake rinsing his body as taking a bath?

"Um, you're done already?"

He looked up from the magazine in his hand as if it's not obvious enough.

".. Let me dry your hair then."

You waited for him to reply, but he often gave you silent answers. You closed the door behind you and fetched the hairdryer inside the bottom of the desk drawer.

The sound of a buzzing hair dryer fills the room as you're working on his hair. You kneeled to have a better view to his head, gently run your fingers into his hair while drying his hair delicately.

He relaxed at your touch and leans closer to you, closing his eyes. His hair quickly dried out with the help of an expensive hair dryer his mom gave him, sadly it has never been in use except when you're around. You pull him towards you as you wrap your hands around his neck, placing a kiss on his forehead.

He chuckled, "What's up with the kiss?"

"Nothing, I just want to do it." You place another kiss on his cheek.

"You could just tell me if you want more." He twisted his body to face you and reached out to cup your face, pulling you towards him. Both of your lips almost come in contact.

You blushed furiously as his forearm brushed on your clothed breast.

It's not like Jotaro had never seen or touched you bare body, but the awareness from not wearing a bra when you both weren't in some sexual activity feels so wrong, it's like you were committing a crime though it's actually not a big deal. 

"You do realize your face is turning red, do you?" He finally closed the distance between your lips with a kiss. He turned his body fully facing yours. Your knees weaken and you fall onto your back with him on top of you as the result of intense kisses he poured onto your lips.

You deepen the kiss to suppress the noises caused by his wandering hands roaming on your skin. He slowly descends his body on top of yours, making you gasped for air between the kisses. 

The shorts you wore easily slide off from your legs, leaving the bottom part of your body covered only with baggy underwear. His hands quickly found the hem of the brief before he finally removed the last fabric on your leg, the chilling air instantly licked your hot core. He pulled away from the kiss and smirked as he saw a darker spot on the grey underwear you wore.

"You're staining my brief,"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry." You replied as you covered your face, feeling the embarrassment skyrocketed in your head as he pulled them off you completely. It didn't take a second before the brief was thrown somewhere on the floor.

"Not that I mind." You let out a low moan when he shifted and kissed the back of your ear. It's not only embarrassment that has peaked so high inside you, it also drags your sensitivity up beyond the ceiling. As the result, you wetted yourself more.

His hand found the hem of your shirt, he pulled the shirt over your head along with your drenched hair towel and tossed them somewhere in the room.

You instantly hug yourself in an attempt to cover your bare chest. It didn't take a second before he yanked both of your hands off your chest, keeping your breast open for his eyes to feast.

The tent on his pants grew abnormally bigger as you wriggle under him. You weren't ready, at least for now. He always took time to prepare himself and he'd never been this bold before. This is beyond confidence. Did something aroused him? What was the cause? Or did something triggered him until he's—

Oh

His scalp. You had accidentally teased him by running your fingers into his hair, where his erogenous zone is hidden under his thick mane.

Of course it's more than that. He had planned this since Ms. Holly is currently in America with her husband, he would never pass the chance to spend time with you alone. The evidence is showing through the absence of the underwear he should've been wearing. Besides, the outline of his cock inside his pants looks way too obvious.

A spark of courage started a fire inside you. He had missed you, and you were just the same. You ignore the fluttering wings of butterflies inside your stomach as you move your hands in the second after he lets go of them and runs your fingers into his hair, digs your nail down onto his scalp. He groans at the sudden stimulation he receives. 

From many experiences, you both already know each other's erogenous zone. The second-most sensitive part of his body—the first one was his cock, obviously—is his scalp.

"Jotaro," You pull his head down until your lips meet again, you wrap your legs around his waist and start grinding on his hard bulge. 

You were right, there's no underwear beneath those shorts.

You silently thanked his decision. The cotton fabric of his shorts against your arousal almost feel zero in layers and it pleasures you but leaves you impatient at the same time. You moaned as you feel the outline of his cock better when you grind harder.

"Now you're staining my shorts." He hisses between his heavy breath,

"Take them off then..!" You gasped in protest

"Yare yare, use your own hand, woman." He grunted as he rose up and let you do the job. You quickly got to work on pulling the elastic band of the short down to free his swollen member from the tight shorts, even though the view of his fully erected cock is tempting to be left untouched. You are forced to drag your eyes to meet him, silently asking for permission to satisfy him with your mouth. He shook his head. Today, he's skipping it. 

The sight of him kicking off his shorts is truly arousing. He's impatient, and so were you. You're familiar with this calm before storm period, where the tension in the atmosphere is so thick as if you're trapped inside a hardened gelatine.

Heavy breaths fill the lack of conversation between you and him as both of you share the same stare with the same intensity. You were filled with anticipation, hoping he'd ravish you and suffocate you as he pours his passion into you.

But of course, Jotaro won't let you get what you want—yet. He lowers his body for a bit before starting teasing your fold by dragging his hard tip up and down. You moaned as it stimulated you, but it wasn't enough.

"Jotaro!" You begged, "Don't tease me!"

"Impatient, aren't you?" He whispered beside your ear, positioning himself as he adjusted your legs around his waist. You pant heavily as you felt the long waited tip finally touched the entrance of your arousal.

You inhale harshly as his tip penetrated your core and slowly slid in easily into your lubricated wall.

"Fuck.. You were already this aroused." He curses as your wall massages the head of his cock. Sending him a sweet spark of pleasure.

It's barely in and he already made you into a moaning mess. His head had ducked down as his plump lips tugged your nipple lightly, and later he'd soothe your aching tip with his tongue. Both of his hands soon join the fun, they cup both of your mound and squeeze them gently. He likes to feel the softness of your breasts under his rough palms.

You moan when you feel his member is slowly sinking further and rubbing itself around the right spot on your wall. He lets out a quivered breath as he stops for a second to pull himself backward and shoves them inside. Your back begins to arch in pleasure as he repeats the process, in, out, in, then out again. Your wall was slowly adjusted to his size and you were starting to feel good.

"Jotaro, faster—!" You urged him, clinging into the new formed pleasure that slowly built inside your core.

Jotaro peels his hand away from your chest and goes to the south. Your eyes instantly open when you feel his fingers slip into your labia and slowly circulate around your sensitive bud. You opened your mouth to protest but he shut it by shoving his tongue in the second after you opened your mouth—which only resulted in you drowning deeper into pleasure.

This is unfair, you want to make him feel good as much as you did too.

You cupped his face as you gladly welcomed his thick, wet muscle into your mouth while he pumped himself into you.

"Let me please you, (Y/N)." He heaved softly between the kiss, "You've done so much for my pleasure."

Behind your blurry vision, you could see his determined stares. His brows were knitted together as he solely focuses himself on you.

Hot breath blew against the curve of your neck. He's sucking on a certain spot on your neck, adding a new pleasure you already had to bear from the constant stimulation in your lower region.

In that very moment, your senses are heightened by twofold. You could hear his harsh breathing, the wet sound of skin against skin, your own heartbeats, but you couldn't hear the sound that has escaped your mouth as clear as the other sound. The wave of pleasures keeps coming, sweeping you away from the shore and drowning you until you're unable to take control over your body.

Your clit has begun to numb from the constant rub his fingers are giving. The numbing sensation crawls its way to your legs, until it reaches your toes. You're clinging into his arms, completely at his mercy.

"Fuck, (Y/N)." He curses as he draws a shaky breath, he's undeniably starting to succumb into his own need for release. Wildly thrust himself into you.

"I— I'm close—" You gasped. Unable to form any decent word longer than that.

His only response was sweet nothings like 'you're doing good', 'cum for me', which comes out as a whisper. If your senses weren't heightened, you might be unable to catch them. With the remaining logical sense in your brain, you're aware Jotaro wasn't entirely conscious when he said those things.

You were so close to your release, it was so close but you still couldn't reach it. You bucked your hip faster to be in the same rhythm with his. Both of your body are covered in sweat, you could see the sweat has made a few strands of his hair stick onto his forehead, forming a few fat buds of sweat before they're rolling down on his face.

It only took one tilt of your body to make him graze into the right spot that instantly blacked out your eyes as you see nothing but stars. Within a few thrust, your body goes into convulsions as intense pleasure washes over you, triggering your brain to release large amounts of dopamine. You cried out his name as you finally reached the sweet orgasm he had intended to give you. Now it was his turn.

He increases his pace and fills the room with the loud sound of skin slapping besides your heavy breath and his small, almost unnoticeable moans. He's frustrated. He's already close halfway through the intercourse, but he's holding it back so you could reach it before him. With a desperate grunt but freed from duty to make you feel good, he lets his body guide him toward his own desire. He wants to buck his hip harder, it was there, so close to him to reach. With the help of your cum, he just had to thrust into you faster, and faster and—

His body spasms as he finally meets the orgasm he had been chasing. He arches his back as he feels his cock spill his hot cums into you.

He instantly feels light headed and collapses on top of you. You tighten your hug around his neck, kissing his cheek sweetly. You both stayed in that position for a while, enjoying the afterglow in each other's embrace.

You could feel the thick liquid of his release seeping into your core deeper, but he's spilling the rest out when he moves to remove his member from you. 

A satisfied sigh leaves your lips, feeling the familiar sense of sleepiness begin to sink into your sore body. 

"Don't sleep yet." He said as he stroked your cheek.

You smile. "I know", you softly replied. Sleeping on the floor without a futon will make your back stiff in the morning, he usually said. 

He smiles back at you—so gentle that it would make you squeal if sleep wasn't your main priority right now.

He got up before gathering the scattered clothes on the floor and left you to bring back his folded futon. 

He unfurled the futon beside you and told you to move onto the simple bedding—which took every energy you had left to drag your body to climb upon the fresh spread futon.

He cleans himself with tissues before putting his brief back on. You watched him change comfortably with your heavy lidded eyes.

Your eyes were finally closing. You almost fell into deep slumber if it's not because there's a sudden cold touch on your skin. You open your eyes before realizing you had fallen asleep for quite a while. You didn't remember Jotaro had left your side and came back with a cardigan and wet towel in his hand.

"Jotaro.." You call him quietly,

"Shh, (Y/N). You can go back to sleep." Jotaro hushes you as he cleans the stain on your inner thighs. He's really pampering you today.

"Come here, I want to cuddle you." You murmur, barely conscious as you pat the empty space besides you.

He chuckled softly before he kissed your forehead and joined you on the futon. You curled your body against him as he wraps you with a cardigan and pulls the thick blanket over your body and his. You then found yourself inside his arms before you slipped into unconsciousness, feeling a sense of protection as his steady breath lulls you back into slumber.

It wasn't a ruined date after all.

[toomanylegos]

MAG Episode 200

I decided to write down my thoughts on the final episode in a completely separate post. I felt like I would have lot to say and analyze after the episode was done and it would've been too much for the reblog chain I made.

I was right.

So, I started listening to this podcast ages ago. Like I mean sometime early last year and then stopped; forgot everything that happened and restarted from the beginning then proceeded to take long breaks in-between more upsetting episodes to keep me sane.

I went into this as someone who doesn't really listen to podcasts and doesn't have much interest in tragedies. I'm more likely to pick an animated film or an action anime or a fantasy novel or a short hurt/comfort fic than a 200 episode horror tragedy podcast.

Buuuuuuut my dearest Eggo had introduced me to the characters and the story. They talked about how much they loved the horror elements, the characters, the world; she encouraged me to give it a listen and reassured me that it was completely worth it. Obviously, she convinced me.

Despite the fact that my soul is shattered due to the emotional series finale, I'm so glad I gave this podcast a chance and I'm glad Eggo rambled about it to me. If they didn't, I wouldn't have come to a wonderful realization...

Tragedies are heartbreakingly beautiful.

I loved learning about these characters and seeing how they dealt with these horrible situations and impossible odds; I had to take so many breaks because if I binged MAG for too long I would become completely miserable due to the pure agony that Jon and everyone around him goes through.

However, there were always these little moments in between the agony. These small conversations between characters; a private reflection; a light joke. A pressure release for the audience that reminded me what, I believe, tragedies are meant to do -- highlight the beauty in the painful and be a cathartic outlet as well as a lesson.

I still don't like angst very much. I don't see the appeal of going into a piece of media that has no sense of comfort in it. Funnily enough, despite the genre space it sits in, MAG is comforting to me.

It brought me the love story of Jon and Martin -- together til the very end and learning to communicate and be with each other. Something that came to me at a point where I am considering pursuing a relationship myself and fear the hurdles I may face. Their story put my own worries just a tad at ease. The way I related to them and the way their fears are handled in the story helped -- are still helping me -- handle my own.

It brought me themes of humanity and monstrosity and how thin of line that can be. It brought me into worlds of flesh, and dark, and sky, and twisting corridors that made my head spin and my heart race.

Most of all, it brought me hope -- something I only realized in episode 199. The hope that even when your world is ending there is something that can be done. The faith in a chance that things can be better if you decide to take that leap.

That good old saying...

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

Now, after finishing The Magnus Archives, I can move on.

So, as I type this with teary eyes and a scattered brain, I would like to say that I loved The Magnus Archives; I have a better appreciation for the tragic and horrible.

I can seek out The Mechanisms and experience more of Jonny Sims' wonderful work.

I can start listening to Rusty Quill Gaming and listen to Alex's DM style and all of the team's adventures.

I can seek out more works produced by the wonderful people over at Rusty Quill.

And most of all, I can catch up with The Magnus Protocol and I can finally say...

They put my bois in the fuckin' 'puter

[periwinkle-the-11th]

Intro post!

i'm Peri!

I spend my time writing, reading, crocheting, embroidering, drawing, sewing, procrastinating my school work, and complaining about everything under the sun.

Heres my pronoun page!

I post all my writing and various creations over on @pericreatesstuff and my ao3 is Peri_Writes

Sidenote: Guess who's officially a college student!!!!

my writing blog is mostly unedited snippets, and my ao3 is either fully plotted and finished beta'd works... or smth i thought up at 3am wrote in one sitting and only proofread once.

I'm in way way way to many fandoms so heres an incomplete list:

Keep It Steady Podcast

Juno Steel (i just started season 4 no spoilers PLS )

pjo/hoo (I haven't read toa yet but its on my list)

kotlc

Kaleidotrope Podcast

Voltron (ik, i'm judging me too.)

bridge to terabithea

Atla

Daylight Shooting Star (if you know dss I am begging you to be my friend I have literally never met anyone else who's read it)

Marauders

Sk8 the infinity

Ohshc

The Sky Fall Trilogy by shannon messenger (once again if you've read it (and liked it) I am begging you to be my friend its so so underrated)

The Lost Books: Scroll of Kings (SO SO SO UNDERRATED)

I listen to way to much music way to often, heres some artists/bands i like: Set it off, pierce the veil, taylor swift, Fin (steffan argus), conan gray, PEGGY, olivia rodrigo, alec benjamin, one direction, Natalie jane, sadie jean, my chemical romance, fall out boy, NF, MARINA, Maren Morris, girl in red, melanie martinez, Avril Lavigne, Madonna, Ke$ha, little mix, Queen, Billy joel, Zara Larsson, Maisie Peters, Lauren spencer smith, ABBA, Jorge Rivera-Herrans, Sam Hunt, and literally so many more

and my tags:

#peri personal - just about everything not fandom related/interactions w people/my life

#peri complains - self explanatory really

#music rambles - rambling about music, mostly when new songs/albums come out

#allis adventures - various stuff about my sourdough! her full name is Allison Breadorthy and she is ALIVE

#baking Breadorthy - actually baking her ^

#peri crafts - self explanatory

#my memes - crappy memes i make, mostly reblogged from my writing blog

#writing related - self explanatory but its mostly me complaining about my fics, plot holes i find, and polls bc i'm indecisive

#friends <3 - my actual conversation style interaction with my mutuals

#lena and tim - my self indulgent au where Lena Luthor adopts Tim Drake after his parents die, the fic is being plotted currently. THE FIC IS CANCELED!!! LEX IS LENA'S BROTHER! LENA IS KON'S AUNT!! THE PLANNED TIMKON IS LEGAL INCEST! (why does this keep happening??? TvT)

#bravery points game - I've started playing a points game with my anxiety, where every time I do something that scares me/my anxiety told me would end in disaster I get a point! It's stupid but it's motivating, I'm being brave! (Even tho it's terrifying) I don't really have a points goal but I wanna try to get to 100 before the end of the year!

Thats all for now!! I'll probably update this once i realize i forgot smth tho

[two-webers-in-a-trench-coat]

I’ve just listened to (podcast) Worlds Beyond Number episodes 17 & 18 (WWW #17: Say My Name and WWW #18: Between the Lines), and now I suddenly have a new WIP on my hands (Suvi x Silver, Sky x Silver).

I started to write it purely because I felt wholly compelled to do so, and I will finish it for that same reason. That said, should anyone be interested in reading it, I wanted to offer to share it. As an aside, it is entirely unedited at this point, so please be gentle if you do read it.

Anyway, I’ll post a sneak preview of the fic here, and then if anyone wants to read the rest of it, you’re welcome to let me know. I hope someone enjoys…

It picks up toward the beginning of WWW #18, but let’s just say that the insight check goes… differently.

Preview:

"When do you-" Suvi cuts herself off. She can see the backpack slung over Silver's shoulder. "Does it have to be now?" She asks quietly.

He nods. "It has to be now."

Suvi dares to meet Silver's eyes and hold his gaze — to hold this moment between them like a breath. She wants to believe his stoicism is merely a disguise. Behind his schooled features must live a hope — the hope that she would succumb to her emotions and ask for something, anything. To finally, if only this once, let him be strong for them and yet give in to a request, if she would only make it known.

Suvi stands between Silver and the door, and he makes no moves to reach it. "Okay," she whispers, scared her voice will betray her weakness. Their eyes remain locked together as Suvi takes a cautious step forward. And then another. "Okay," Silver whispers back.

Suvi feels the surge of tears about to stream down her face, and just before the dam can burst, she rushes Silver. He lets his pack slide off his shoulder as he braces for impact, opening his arms and wrapping them around the woman barreling into him.

Suvi flings her arms around Silver and buries her face into his warm and familiar embrace. Suvi's body convulses with sobs, but Silver says nothing of it. Instead, he rests his chin atop her head and rubs gentle, unhurried circles up and down her back.

This expression of trust, vulnerability, and depth of care is not lost on him, and he values this moment for the precious memory it shall be.

[llycaons]

SO. I've hit 14 books this year!! I do have a goodreads but it's kind of public so it's mutuals-only (feel free to ask!). but here's my list so far

babel by r.f. kuang

kindred by octavia butler

the goblin emperor by katherine addison

horse by geraldine brooks

spinning silver by naomi novik

kitchen by banana yoshimoto

deep as the sky, red as the sea by rita chang-eppig

the buried giant by kazuo ishiguro

annihilation by jeff vandermeer

the order of the pure moon reflected on water by zen cho

the mask of mirrors by m.a. carrick

black water sister by zen cho

the witch's heart by genevieve gornichec

mexican gothic by silvio moreno-garcia

I also attempted, but gave up on

the night tiger by yangsze choo (the stepsibling romance...I couldn't)

the tiger's wife by téa obreht (just a bit slow - may return to it)

song of the huntress by lucy holland (I just hated one of the leads so much 😭 my blood pressure skyrocketed every time it was her chapter)

these violent delights by chloe gong (WOW this book is for 15 year olds and also pretty pretentious and stupid to boot)

black sun by rebecca roanhorse (it did not grab me)

the black tides of heaven by neon yang (frankly this was a bad book)

silver in the wood by emily tesh (shut UPPPPP white rich british man!!!!!)

lucha of the night forest by tehlor kay mejia (very juvenile and an embarassingly heavy-handed 'drugs are evil' moral right off the bat. also just not very well written)

my reading map as of now

borrowed

ancillary justice - scifi isn't my usual genre but I was really intrigued by the sample I'd read, and I loved the raven tower by the same author. audiobook

sistersong - I had such a bad time trying to read song of the huntress I'm wary about this one but I do still want to try it. ebook

holds - physical books

gods of jade and shadow - I don't know much about this one but I do love a more modern take on folktales and I don't know much about mexican mythology

snow crash - I'll finish this eventually lol. another scifi

pachinko - sampled this ages ago. will it be good? idk. I was absorbed

salt fish girl - REALLY looking forward to this one. it says zero copies available so perhaps I will need to buy it 😭

warbreaker - a podcaster I listen to gave a glowing review and I've been meaning to get into brando sando for ages

lolita - lower on my priority list. I'd like to listen to the audiobook but maybe that would be harder. the only available copy is in spanish anyway

holds - audiobooks

warbreaker - I'll takewhatever arrives first. the waitlist is fucking. months long

pachinko - ditto. these are both 20+ hour audiobooks so maybe a physical book would be less tiring. maybe

wuthering heights - I want to know what everyone is talking about when they rave about their toxic doomed love

the final empire (mistborn #1) - another sanderson offering

the watchmaker of filigree street - I have been on the waitlist for so long for this one...

the water outlaws - please be good please please please

giovanni's room - long waitlist for this one too!!

on my list but not in my library

when a fox is a thousand - I want to read this one so bad I feel SICK. libby PLEASEEEE

piranesi - honestly this did not captivate me but it's so short. why not

sorcerer to the crown - only the second book of this series was available, oddly enough. is the second one so freestanding? is it so much better? I'd like to read them in order. lower on my list since it was a new addition

this is like 16 books and some of them are VERY long so I doubt I'll get to this entire list by the end of the year but it's so satisfying to look back and see how much reading I've done 😊 I've done more this year than I have in like, a decade and it's been so wonderful getting back into another long-beloved form of storytelling even if I don't get as obsessed with it as I used to in hs and middle school

[delta-orionis]

Tuesday Again No Problem 4/2/24

I feel like this is one of those weeks where I was extremely busy but accomplished very little...

Listening

Earlier this week I felt compelled to go back and listen to some of the songs by AURORA that were featured in that Sky: Children of the Light concert from a while ago.

This song in particular is one that I'd love to create a music video for if I had the skill or patience.

Because I have Rain World on the brain, it brings to mind a slugcat (Survivor and Monk in particular) who are just focused on survival but slowly start to become aware of exactly why the world around them functions the way it does.

Watching

My Well There's Your Problem marathon continues. The most recent episode I listened to was this one about the Y2K Bug:

(Again, it's kind of cheating for me to put a podcast with slides in the watching section, but I haven't really been watching anything else...)

Reading

Fallow this week.

Playing

I'm back to playing Rain World.

I was putting off beating the Artificer campaign, so I finally said "fuck it", and killed the Scavenger king in a very anticlimactic way by just chucking a singularity bomb at them.

In other news, I started a Hunter playthrough. I'm going to admit up front that I cheated in extra cycles for myself because I know for sure I will not be able to beat the game in under 25. To be honest I kind of wanted to do a relatively normal run where I can take my time and also be a carnivore.

Oh, and I have slugpups unlocked, so I keep finding the little guys everywhere. (They're hard to keep alive, unfortunately...)

My adventures have so far included...

Getting bullied by squidcadas,

Watching vultures beat the shit out of each other,

And witnessing one of the strongest enemies in the game get electrocuted to death right in front of me.

I finally reached Five Pebbles today. I got to him by climbing The Wall by way of Chimney Canopy, which isn't the route I usually take. I also made the (probably foolish) decision to take the long way out and go through his interior to access the Underhang. That might have been a bad idea, but Five Pebbles is one of my favorite areas in the game and I didn't want to miss an opportunity to pass through it. The Underhang sucks, though. If I get too frustrated I might just go back up through the inside (since fast travel isn't available for Hunter).

Making

I haven't made much progress on my crochet projects this week. I am getting close to finishing that granny square tote bag, though. I started the tedious process of weaving in all the loose ends.

I've also been revising that post I mentioned last week about trying to estimate how big Rain World's iterators are. My initial estimate was WAY too big, I think, and I've been debating even keeping it in the post at all. For the sake of clarity it might be best to delete it, even though I went through the trouble of making some diagrams for it... I'll think about it some more.

In addition, I’m continuing to worldbuild for my iterator OC. I made a rough layout of their facility grounds:

The idea is that they sit on top of a mountain, where their rain freezes into several glaciers which flow down to the base. At the base are twelve dams which collect the water, arranged like a big clock.

This “clock” is broken up into six sectors which serve different functions, and have analogues to the regions from the game (noted above in parentheses). I’d like to make a more polished map, maybe some time in the future.

I also posted some doodles the other day (featuring the same OC being smacked in the face)

--

This coming week, I'm traveling to the path of totality for the April 8th solar eclipse. Because I'll be traveling, I can't imagine I'll have much to report in terms of the Tuesdaypost, but I guess we'll see.

[e1dritchqueer]

All the silly mech media I've consumed so far to prepare for my beam saber game

(Ya'll I have gotten so autistic about mecha it's wild)

Okay for context I'm gonna join a Beam Saber (Narrative based mech ttrpg, it's really fucking cool) game soon and I realized that I don't know anything about mecha stuff so I decided to develop a hyperfixation (and I did!!! Luv me some gundam!!!) Anyways here's all the silly media I've gone through for both fun and research as to what "makes" the mecha genre/what the fantasy of mecha is

Underlined ones (EDIT underlines apparently don't work so I'll be putting italics and !!! next to each one I really really like) are ones I really really like and like if you're gonna play/watch anything I recommend those ones

Mobile Suit Gundam I The original Gundam series!!! Both this and the other ones are compilation films, so like yeah, some pacing stuff feels off.

Mobile Suit Gundam II

!!! Mobile Suit Gundam III !!! This one is real well done, worth going through the other two movies I think. The pacing is real tight, focuses on some fascinating ideas and themes, and yeah, I like this alot. Char and Amuro should kiss (also gahhhh frothing at the mouth at the ideas of mech rivals (and mech rivals kissing))

Titanfall 2 Is Titanfall campaign, is good

!!! War in the Pocket !!! The story about a young boy once fascinated by war and mechs until the terrifying reality of war arrives to his home. Love this one, it's real good and also a real good emotional gutpunch. Like.... yeah, I'm fond of this one

Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt: December Sky This is the only one I've seen so far that I DO NOT like. Yeah the animation is good and all but it felt too voyeuristic about war in a way that did not sit well with me.

!!! 08th MS Team !!! Gundam but with Vietnam war aesthetics? Love this one love it alot, the story is real good and the backgrounds are GORGEOUS. Out of all the ones I watched this one hit the nail on the head for thematically what I was looking for. Like, it's about a pilot becoming more and more disillusion by the fact they're a soldier and seeks to escape the war, I really really like it!!!

08th MS Team: Miller's Report This is a compilation film, but a weird one, taking place between episodes six and seven, personally I think you might get some enjoyment from watching it instead of those two episodes (at least episode 8, but I'm not sure, there are some moments that I really liked from the show that were cut) but idk.

08th MS Team: Battle In Three Dimensions Short little animation, lovely :), having watched it I think Michel and Sanders should kiss???

!!! The Witch from Mercury (Watching) !!! GAY ASS MECH MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Love me some mech lesbians. But like seriously this one is real good!!! It starts off in its own universe so really good for newcomers (just need to know that there is a difference between a Gundam and a mech within the fiction of the show) I like it alot, it's high school drama with the backdrop of corporate war and space capitalism and like... it's really well done!!!

Friends at the Table: Counter/Weight (Listening) What if an actual play podcast sat down and discussed critical worldbuilding and themes, that's Friends at the Table and it rules!! This one is a more noir focused game with mechs (the system they use is literally called MechNoir) and it's essentially a group of detectives in space Berlin! Real fond of Austin Walker's stuff and Friends at the Table rule, has really inspired me as to how I can run games and what I can do as a player.

Project Nimbus (Playing) Fast mech game, fun.

!!! Heaven Will be Mine (Playing) !!! This game raises the question of what if mech rivals kissed to 11, they are also lesbians, in space, with heavy themes and symbolism, and beautiful art. I really really like this game, finished it twice, trying to 100% it but it's real good, big big big mega fave

Zeta Gundam (Watching) Sequel series to MSG, not sure how I feel about it yet but tbh I'm enjoying it, genuinely love Kamille and I love how Char is in this

!!! Umurangi Generation (Playing) !!! What if you were a photographer at the end of the world and the way the world ended specifically was Evangellion? That's essentially Umurangi Generation and it's REAL good at that, I am extremely fond of this game

Zone of the Enders: The Second Runner (Playing) Like Project Nimbus but with a better feel and also made by the some of the same people who made Metal Gear Solid and Tokimeki Memorial, fun game also all the mechs are sexy????

Phew anyways thats the stuff and my thoughts on it, mech stuff real fucking cool!!! I'm quite fond of it!!! I have so many blorbos now

[intertexts]

HI ROS !!!!!! coming into ur inbox this lovely afternoon with a random question bc i like your taste in things. I need a new work podcast bc im caught up with most of my other ones. I've got TWO saved because of you so I thought I'd get ur opinion: which one first. hello from the hallowoods or skyjacks :] ik u like them both (and I DO plan to get thru them both eventually but I need 2 do them one at a time or else I'll explode)

OH GOD. INSANELY HARD QUESTION!!!!!!!! FUCKED UP!!!!!!! umm. ok. ok. they're both still currently ongoing, hfth has 160 episodes so far & skyjacks has something like 230. hfth has a sort of anthology structure with many different key characters and protagonists and plot threads that all get woven together through vignettes, skyjacks is just one overarching narrative. that's the quick comparison.

-hfth: good if ur still the kind of guy who gets really emotional over casual trans & queer rep in the year of our lord 2024 despite it being "everywhere now" and "not a big deal." (me LMAO) it's not like, a podcast About That, & it's kind of reductive to say that as the first thing about it, but like. it is deeply and fundamentally and lovingly a gaytrans show. it's horror, but like, the horror equivalent of spiced tea before bedtime, more strange and warped and delightful surrealism than much else. doesn't leave u with the Residue (neutral!!! feeling awful after u finish a horror thing is like frequently part of the appeal!!) that heavier horror does. anthology with overarching plot & it's really really fun to figure out the way all the pieces fit together. there are very endearing terrifying eldritch gods and gay sad little demons and ghost boys and older butches and sentient skulls inside a weird tank body. many very resonant themes and motifs. tons of really great character work, i can think of off the top of my head at least five or so characters u will love, very fun show. makes me miss living in the woods!!!!

skyjacks: okay man. you KNOW this is my favorite ttrpg show of all time. c'mon. okay. yeah despite the insane way pd has taken over my brain (& it is a REALLY good n fun show i think) & the way im constantly talking about friends at the table as a seminal actual play show that does some of The best writing in any of the space & is easily the Best, etc. skyjacks is so fucking good. james d'amato is an incredible gm, the sound design is really lovely, the worldbuilding is. my favorite. sometimes i just sit and kick my feet around giggling and smiling and thinking about spéir. its so fucking sick it feels like folklore and fairy tales and historical romances. there are huge birds u can fly on instead of horses. the sea is angry and has spit you out. the gods are dead and the stars have fallen out of the sky. pirate story, also, btw. u will fall in love with the uhuru. maybe partially why i haven't started riptide bc skyjacks is already The pirate campaign to me. i also already know Exactly which pc u will latch onto. honestly the pcs & their dynamics are also all really compelling, nobody at the table fucking misses.

anyway. TERRIBLE answer to this question ummm i would listen 2 the pilot of both of them n then choose! they're both two of my all time faves!!! enjoy!!! :3333

[pbandjesse]

I just got out of the shower after driving home from Jess's house. And that was one of the worst drives I have had in a very long time. The rain was so bad. I literally could not see and it was very scary. But I am safely home now and I still got a couple things I got to do before I go to sleep. But it was a good day.

I woke up early with anxiety again. Annoying but not horrible. When I got up I would get washed and dressed and I basically had everything together already. So I spend a few minutes playing with sweet pea and then checking on crab cake. It fed him and made sure that his tank was warm enough. We're somewhere between 80 and 85 mostly so we're doing pretty good. Now we got to work on the humidity. So keeping it nice and moist in there is going to be our next important step. I was actually like really early still so I packed a snack for myself of my naan and cucumbers thing I made yesterday. And let Jess know that I would be leaving soon but there was no rush and we could leave whenever when I got to her house.

It was like a super ridiculously easy drive. I listened to my podcast and enjoyed the day. It was humid outside but it was a lot cooler. The skies were gray and I wasn't sure if we would actually swim today but that was all right. I was just looking forward to being in a beach town and just seeing the ocean. That was fine with me and that's basically what happened.

I would get to dress this house right at 10:00 and she was eating cake standing at her front door waiting for me. I was very happy to see her and I gave her the hair clip I got her and we sat and talked about her hospital stay last week and she told me the whole story. It's a lot more dramatic when you hear it in person. And it was already dramatic. I really hope they can figure out a way to make her feel better but she seemed in so much better spirits today and the steroids she gave her really are giving her energy. Not making it easier for her to sleep but at least she's not just in bed all day. She's able to live life.

We would finished getting ourselves together there and get ready to leave around 10:30. It was another hour and a half to get to Cape May and it would be a really nice drive. It was gray but the rain had been pushed back until 6:00 and so we were like oh this is going to be excellent and maybe the rain will scare people away and it won't be as crowded. And so we were in a really good mood. And just talked the whole time. I told her all about the drama at camp and it was nice to get all of it out to an outside observer. She told me like even though we work in very different jobs with very different people It is amazing how incompetence will really ruin the party for everyone. And makes it incredibly difficult to do your job. And it was just good to feel validated in my concerns.

Once we got to Cape May just had a plan for us to park in the municipal lot that was free to use. And then we would walk the half mile to the heart of the beach town. That was fine with me but I always worry about her ankles because she gets to be in so much pain so quickly but she was actually really good today. Like she was obviously hurting at times, as was I, But like I felt like we were doing great. And it was nice enough that we both decided we didn't need to bring any of our stuff with us. We just had our little bags with the important bits and we each had a long shirt to wear over our tank tops. And we started walking.

We got to the pancake House and it was pretty busy but because it was only two of us they let us sit at the counter. So we got to sit right away. We both ordered grilled cheese sandwiches and eggs and french fries. We shared the french fries. And the waitress was very nice and everyone was loud but I was still having a very good time. And then all of a sudden the sky opened up and it was pouring right now so I just absolutely buckets. But thankfully we would luck out and it would stop before we left the restaurant. I did feel like it was pretty expensive for two grilled cheese sandwiches but it was good and it's the beach so I always expect everything to be more expensive so it's whatever. Plus we always split the cost of meals I pay for a meal then she pays for a meal and so on and so forth. It was not a huge deal in the end.

We relieve there and started walking around the little downtown. The shops were a little bit too much money for us and while I enjoyed looking around there really wasn't anything I was probably going to buy. I don't need or want anything. I did end up getting one enamel pin of a turtle. And later we would go into a little antique mall and I found a golden heart spoon. It was not an antique but I liked it and those were my two purchases for the day. Just would get a very cute little ceramic boat that says Cape May on the back. And I felt bad because her tote bag was getting very full very fast between the half grilled cheese sandwich she still had and both of our little bags of chips that they gave us. I didn't really want the chips but she took them anyway so she carried them and that was fine but I still felt bad.

We would wonder around the town but there was just a lot of people. While the rain might have kept them away from the beach it did not keep them away from shopping. So we tried to get away from that by walking on the cement path near the beach. This was a pay beach and it was $10 a person per day. That's way too much in my opinion. especially cuz we're not going swimming. If we were going to spend the day at the beach on the beach with our little chair and everything like sure I could understand paying that but not if we were just going to go in touch the ocean and leave. So we just stayed on the top and watched people and birds and went into a couple places. I wanted to do a call machine but none of them spoke to me and it was very loud in there. We didn't even do the photo booth it was so loud. And then we decided to walk to West garage.

This was a place that just had seen on TikTok and it took us a while to get over there. It was cute just watching all the different buildings and I love beach style housing and all of the little gingerbread details. The flowers were beautiful. It wasn't too hot but it was humid. I was comfortable but I would get too warm at times and once we got to the place I was really excited for air conditioning.

And it was comfortable but it wasn't particularly cool. I enjoyed walking around and looking at stuff but it wasn't like a real antiqua It was more like a sort of old stuff vintage mass produced sort of place. Which is fine but I always hate when you go places in every store has the same chachkis because they're all buying from the same wholesalers. I find it very frustrating because that's not what I'm here for. I still enjoyed it though and we saw some cool stuff. I was just enjoying hanging out with Jess and being silly and talking and looking at it things.

We would leave there and walk down the street to an actual antique store. We went into two different ones. And we buy much. Like I said I just got my one spoon but I enjoyed looking around and it's always fun seeing things that you recognize from your childhood or from your grandma's house. And it was just a really nice day. I was having a really good time.

The sun had finally come out though and so we were like we should go to the lighthouse now because that is the state park and the beach is free down there. And then we can walk around and touch the ocean and accomplish our goal of the day.

But just had another goal as well before we did that which was to get ice cream. We already looked in a few places but none of them were speaking to her. I don't love ice cream that much so I wasn't as concerned but I want her to be able to have the things that she wants! So I have a head on a swivel and I was able to find us an adorable ice cream shop. That had questionable food safety. I saw one of the teenagers drop an ice cream cone into her arm and then still serve it to a guest. Kind of crazy. But we ordered the smallest ice cream amount possible and they were like oh a kids cone. And they gave us like three scoops of ice cream each and it was way too much. Jess got lavender honey and I got strawberry cheesecake. And they were very nice. And we ate those as we walked back to the car.

It was much warmer by then and I was very excited to be sitting for a bit but also I was just so thirsty and the ice cream was good and I was cooler because of it I really wanted water and I had stupidly forgotten my water bottle today. So I only had my soda cup and while it had stayed pretty cool in the car it was not the same as drinking water.

And then we drove over to the lighthouse and it was great. I had such a good time.

From the distance and we would park and walk the beach for a while. The sand was really nice. Not too hot probably because it had been rained on. The ocean was beautiful and there was a haze to everything. It was just awesome. I love that. Wasn't a ton of very good shells but I had brought my new little seashell bag with me and I had my sandals in it so I can walk around barefoot and unencumbered. I would put some of the few shells and rocks I found in there but mostly I was just enjoying being silly with Jess. We sat in the sand and I fell over backwards and was absolutely covered and she said that I look like a cinnamon pretzel which I'm going to take as a compliment. And we took pictures and we touched the water and we looked at the world war II bunker that was on that beach which I did not know was there and I thought was a very cool. We chased a little crab and we saw birds and we just talked about how much we like watching the water and it was great. The water wasn't very very cold so we probably wouldn't even gone swimming if we had been there all day. It was just really nice to walk around even though Jesse's feet hurt from the Sharp shells because she is the princess from the princess and the pea. And she said they were a thousand tiny shells stuck to the bum for me which is just what sand is but she was fine once we went rinsed her feet off.

I got us off the beach and we had to walk over to the tickets where you could rinse your feet off but it was farther than just thought And so she took a really long time to get over there. I would run to the car to get us towels so that we can put our shoes back on and I switched into Birkenstocks which I'm really glad I brought because I think putting my strappy sandals on top of my sandy feet would have been very painful. But we cleaned off after another family finished. And then we went and filled up our water bottles before we left.

On our drive out Charlotte texted me and James that one of their rescue cats that her and Cate had gotten had very unexpectedly died on Friday. And I read it out loud and cried and just cried too and we were supposed to so sad for her. I would be absolutely devastated and I know someday I will be once we be dies but nobody wants to find that so randomly, you won't warning. I think I got a little emotional because she also said that she loves both of us and Charlotte doesn't say that. She never says anything like that and I think it just really hit me because so often I still have the feeling that she doesn't like me so it's nice to see it even if it wasn't a moment of sadness for her. I feel awful I really hope that she's okay tonight.

Me and Jessica one more stop before we went back to her house. We had a very fancy dinner plan.

We went to a place called The Port. And this voice is nice. We sat outside on their dock, Which is the majority of the restaurant. It looks like they have it inside space but I think they only needs it in the winter time. And it was beautiful. I got them to open up an umbrella for us so that we wouldn't have to sit in the sun potentially get sunburned. And everyone was so pretty and nice. I was also over hearing some gossip because apparently someone was not very nice and they come all the time and I think they're a vlogger or something. But everyone was nice to us.

We already look at the menu because we both have so many weird food things. I was very excited for the whipped honey feta and it's a burrata peach and tomato salad I was going to get. Jess would get oysters, ceviche, and a sushi roll. She said that the sushi rollwas probably unnecessary, And she had enough food with just two things but do the oysters even really count?? She loves them so much. And she said these ones were very good. The honey feta was outrageously good. The burrata salad was not exactly what I was expecting. It was more chopped up than I was anticipating. I thought it was going to be the ball on some arugula with slices of peaches and tomato. It was more diced peaches and tiny tomatoes and green tomatoes. And cucumbers. And some other things. And it was good but it was a little bit much and I would take half of it home. But I was having a great time. The food was beautiful everything was so nice. Even the bathroom was adorable. It was a really good choice and I will absolutely go back there again next time I'm in Cape May.

I'm glad that we went. And we discussed coming back and finding a B&B to stay in or something. Spend a whole weekend there maybe.

It was time to go home though. Our ETA to arrive back at Jess's house was 7:30. And that was good because then I would get home around 9:00 which is later than I wanted but not too bad. So then we were off and it was a really good drive. No traffic really. Nobody acted stupid. The sky was a little scary as storms were going to be coming in soon but we didn't have to deal with much at all and that was great. My phone was dying but I had brought a charger box and it wasn't working and it was really frustrated. So I just tried to not stare at my phone but that was very difficult. I was tired and I just wanted to scroll mindlessly. But instead we talked about the green clouds and how strangers were Jess ended up living. How it's right next to the town where I spend so much time dating a really terrible person. And how so many places are the same there and so many are different. We even pass the street thar he lived on. It's weird how life is. Just bringing us together and intersecting our lives. I'm really glad that we found each other in all of that.

When we got back to her house she had peppers and a vintage matches holder for me. The sky had started turning a little green and it was making me nervous. So I filled up my water and used her bathroom and just as I'm getting ready to go the sky absolutely opens up and it is pouring. Like outrageous. Worse than this morning. Worse than I've seen in a long time but I was like okay it'll probably pass quickly and I can get out of here safely. So even though I did not have my umbrella. I gave Jess a big hug goodbye and I ran outside to the car and was just drenched. Thankfully I had moved my beach towel to the front seat. Was able to dry myself and the inside of the car off before I left.

I texted James to let them know my ETA was about 9:00 and then I very slowly drove out of her neighborhood. And that would basically be how the entire drive was. Very slow. I could not see anything. It was horrible. I was going down the interstate going 25 miles an hour with my flashers on. I was with like two other cars and most people were sitting on the sides of the roads waiting for it to pass but it was not passing. It was raining like that for almost 45 minutes. It was terrifying. And there were people that weren't having their lights on and I was flashing at them and thankfully they got the message but man they could have killed somebody. It was awful. My poor car was screaming at me that it couldn't see and then I was like girl me too I cannot see anything and this is awful. I was just trying very hard to be safe but I wanted to get home so badly.

About 25 minutes before I got home the rain mostly stopped. And I had a pretty quiet ride back because my phone stopped connecting to the car. I still was able to get the GPS up on my phone screen but it was not ideal. Thankfully I was able to get home in one piece, only 15 minutes later I had originally thought.

I did have to circle around the block and park a little far away because I couldn't find a spot because everyone is parked weird today. Like they left weird amounts of spaces So I couldn't fit anywhere. But James was sitting outside waiting for me and I was very happy to see them.

Brandon's over because they're going to watch House of the dragon. And it was really good to see him too. I gave hugs to everybody. I checked on crab cake whose tanks seem to dry so I added more water. But it was warm enough. And hug sweetp for a bit. And then went to go take a shower.

I was sitting on the floor in our bedroom now. Enjoying the air conditioning. I got to go through this pile of clean clothing to figure out what I'm bringing to camp and what I'm wearing tomorrow. And then I'm going to go to sleep because tomorrow I have to go back to camp. Honestly not thrilled. I'm very anxious. That the schedule is going to be completely different for me and it's going to be awful again like last week was for everybody else. I just hope that they solved something. My plan is to sleep there tomorrow. Maybe not Tuesday maybe not Wednesday. I don't know yet. We'll see how I feel. But hopefully it is fine. And I have a good week. I'm a little nervous about the project but I think it will be okay in the end. I really hope that you all have a really good night. And have a beautiful day. Sleep well my friends.

[audiofictionuk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 23rd June

Discovering Dad Audio Drama Jess and Corey’s dad was not exactly the adventurous type. At least that’s what they thought until his past caught up with him. Turns out, Dan, the anxious and overprotective middle school science teacher used to be a daring archaeologist and adventurer. Now this fractured, but loving family will have to work together to escape the bad guys, find a hidden treasure and overcome a family curse. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240610-03 RSS: https://feeds.megaphone.fm/discoveringdad

Nightmare Circus Tales Audio Book William Soundz Stars as DJ Lucious. As he takes over the airwaves from the Spirit Realm. To tell scary stories. About monsters, demons, and dark entities from the Book of Nightmares. So step right and experience a show you will never forget. Nightmare Circus Tales is produced with Sound Fx and Music. So you can become a part of the story. Instead of calling it an Audio Drama, I like to call it Audio Cinema. Is it Reality or Just an illusion!! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240610-04 RSS: https://www.spreaker.com/show/5848328/episodes/feed

https://media.rss.com/maxrebosintergalacticfreeformjizzband69/20240504_060559_0fd9a58c1ef7cca4bb9adbd0d0d72c62.jpg

Max Rebo's Intergalactic Freeform Jizz Band Audio RPG A table top role playing podcast exploring the lives of the musicians of Star Wars. Lightsabers? Jedi? Skywalkers? Who cares! Pull up a chair and listen to the sweet sweet jizz oozin' out of our players' mouths, into a horn, and into your ears. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240611-01 RSS: https://media.rss.com/maxrebosintergalacticfreeformjizzband69/feed.xml

My Russian Clementine Audio Drama A Modern Russian Fairytale, based on a true story about an American actress who adopts a little Russian girl in St. Petersburg in 1994. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240611-02 RSS: https://feeds.libsyn.com/533967/rss

Radio Nowhere Audio Book When a welfare check ends in a nightmarishly grisly crime scene, Joshua Karras finds himself caught in a web of horror and torment as he is pursued by an inhuman figure known only as The Venetian. With an old HEATHKIT radio and a disembodied voice of a Detective to guide him, Joshua must unlock these supernatural mysteries before he becomes one. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240611-03 RSS: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/2283920.rss

The Tales of Kale vala Audio Book Kale ’Finn’ Vala is an archivist, explorer, chronicler and archivist. He has made his his life’s work to produce The comprehensive history of the World of Elestia. Contained within are a collection of his tales, jam-packed with triumph, heroism and despair. Presented in an audiobook format, The Tales of Kale Vala are produced by Dice Company Ltd and showrun by Richard Godden. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240613-01 RSS: https://feed.podbean.com/talesofkalevala/feed.xml

Adventures in Mordheim Audio RPG Actual Plays using Warhammer Fantasy Role Play & Mork Borg, that take you on a journey through The City of the Damned: Mordheim! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240614-01 RSS: https://feeds.captivate.fm/adventures-in-mordheim/

SunGlare Audio Drama Welcome to the SS SunGlare, a project where me and my friend venture into the previously unseen sky above, making recordings of our findings for you all to enjoy as well! Follow us as we finish up the last of the preparations and work to bring you the documentary of a lifetime! Journeying where humanity has not seen in nearly 1,000 years. We hope to see you with us! Signing off- Damien of the SS SunGlare crew! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240612-01 RSS: https://www.spreaker.com/show/6150178/episodes/feed

Language Landscapes - Tirweddau Iaith Audio Drama Dive into the natural world with four short audio plays about the words, myths and memories that shape our connection to place. In our digital era, and our times of climate change, these works are by turns lyrical, funny and heartfelt explorations of the age-old relationship between language and landscape. Two pieces are in English, and two pieces are in Welsh. Archwiliwch i mewn i fyd natur gyda pedair drama sain fer gyda’r pwyslais ar y geiriau, y chwedlau a’r atgofion sy’n llunio ein cysylltiad i rywle. Yn ein hoes ddigidol, a’n cyfnod o newid hinsawdd, mae’r gweithiau hyn yn eu tro yn archwiliadau telynegol, doniol a chalonogol o’r berthynas oesol rhwng iaith a thirwedd. Mae dwy ddrama yn Saesneg, a dwy ddrama yn Gymraeg. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240613-02 RSS: https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/language-landscapes

Don't Look - A Horror Audio Drama Audio Drama Brought to you by the Tales of the Forgotten Fiction Network. Put your headphones on and let's begin. It will kill you if you look at it. It likes to hunt & it's not alone. Something just killed Katie's best friend. Now it's after her & anyone that tries to help her. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240611-04 RSS: https://feeds.redcircle.com/4a16cf4f-0c94-4518-a4d3-465c45766f5c

Eden Audio Drama In a solar system fueled by conflict, ace pilot Felicity Dawn and the crew of the Silver Fox vies for control of Titan's oil-rich oasis, Eden, before evil forces looking to exploit it get there first. https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240615-02 RSS: https://anchor.fm/s/f5cef6bc/podcast/rss

Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay?! Audio Drama Vandy Monroe III is about to die. So he invites his best friends (aka his mortal enemies, each of whom has a reason to want him underground) to his Hudson Valley home. He plans to catch the potential killer... only he’s poisoned. When an unexpected storm cuts off power and access to his grand estate, it’s up to James Wilson—aspiring writer and active homosexual—to figure out the killer’s identity before they strike again! Was it the German chef? The demented chanteuse? The Cockney porn star? WHO CAN SAY!!! https://audiofiction.co.uk/show.php?id=20240617-01 RSS: https://www.omnycontent.com/d/playlist/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/165402a4-dabe-44b0-9abb-b17f011611e0/2ff51a9a-f16a-45df-a239-b17f011a5dd6/podcast.rss

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

20 Questions for fic writers

Tagged by @room-on-broom (thank you!!)

tagging @barry-j-blupjeans @ceilingfan5 @noodyl-blasstal @anistarrose and anyone else who'd like to!!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

23!!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

192,336 which feels insane to me!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Basically just the adventure zone and then I have also been writing some stuff for various ttrpg characters of my own!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Say it with Flours, The Only One On Your A.M. Radio, Some of my best friends are liches, Take it like a Man, and is it too late to say it's not what it looks like?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to!! I just like interacting with people who like the stuff I make, especially when they're kind enough to comment!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So all of my bigger fics tend not to have mega angsty endings, but there's that one ficlet I wrote about the twins and hair dye that is just angst city

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending Probably say it with flours!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

One guy once got big mad about starblaster lanes because he thought the setting was stupid and that John hunger (who was a throwaway, nonnamed character in the fic) was ooc and that the twins were too mean. like, buddy I don't think we listened to the same podcast, they can be little shits

9. Do you write smut?

As of RHAPAW, I do! it's not like, my most favorite thing to write (not because I don't like it, I just don't think I'm super good at it)

10. Do you write crossovers?

no, but when I was in junior high I had a grand plan for this like. mega cross over fic that involved characters from Hannibal, welcome to night vale, doctor who, supernatural, h*rry p*tter, and also sherlock. the plot was nonexistent but I remember that Hannibal was going to be like. the new professor at the private school everyone attended together

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes and no? so I have like. a fic in progress with larissa that I don't think either of us have touched in months, and then Hali and I have put Something Bigger Than The Sky on indefinite hiatus. but also so much of my process just involves talking back and forth for hours so they usually feel pretty collaborative by the end

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

like. It’s blupjeans it Has to be blupjeans. I was really into Amy and rory pond when I was younger and that just primed me for blupjeans

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

so I dont necessarily like assuming I won't finish a fic ever but the ones that are lowest on my priority are the warlock taakitz thing and then my resurrection roadtrip (simply because I Know that one will be big and it feels daunting)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at getting into a character's head and writing a truthful internal monologue and good dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

actually moving the damn plot along and pacing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've never done it because I know one (1) language but I think it's neat when other people do it!!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the hunger games! I was intent on writing Annie Cresta's games BY HAND during study hall in seventh grade

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

It has to be RHAPAW, right? like it was SUCH a big effort but it's my baby :3

[little-writing-drabbles]

ᖫ Interview ᖭ

Ask: N/A

Type: x reader

Word count: 4,244

Reader: gn, no pronouns specified

TW: death, description of a murder, mutilation (not reader), mental illness potentially, mention of a car accident, not proofread, grammar, probably really shitty

Sunsets were always your favorite. You remembered when you got your first car in high school and you would drive up a mountain in the outskirts of your town and would watch the sun set almost everyday. It helped you relax on bad and stressful days, like the sun was taking it away from you, leaving the moon to keep you company. You loved the colors, the orange and yellow of the lowering sun mixing with the blue sky and shades of purple and pink color the clouds, making them look like cotton candy. It was peaceful. You didn’t watch the sunset as much as you used to, work takes up a lot of your time.

Your job isn’t one you liked talking about or telling people, in simple words, you were a true crime podcaster. Researching crimes took up a lot of your time, you needed any and all details you could get your hands on, news articles, accounts of the people involved, witnesses reports, interrogation footage and even crime scene photos were things that were important to recounting cases to the public. You were thankful two of your friends had offered to help you with your research to not overwork yourself. Your relaxation time was interrupted when your phone rang, reaching into your cupholder where your phone sat, you picked up your phone to read the caller ID ‘Melody’. You sighed a little and answered her call, the sound coming out of your car speaker.

“Hey Melody.” You couldn’t hear anything coming from the other side, causing you to sit up in your seat and fiddle with the volume, “you there?”

“Where are you?”

You covered your ears quickly, after messing with the volume knob, you had left it on max volume. Melody’s voice boomed through your car and you quickly turned it down. “Hello?” You sucked in a breath through your teeth.

“Yeah I’m here”

“Are you ok? What happened?”

“I couldn’t hear you so I messed with the volume and blew my eardrums out.”

“Dumbass.” Melody laughed. You fixed your jacket on your shoulders and listened to the thump and rustling from Melody’s side of the call. “You never answered my question.” more rustling, “Where are you?”

“Beach, watching the sunset.” 

“Did you edit the footage?” You froze as you shuffled in your car, “You haven't even started yet huh.”

“No!” You rubbed you'd face and turned your car on. “I'm heading home now ok, I'll start working on it.” Melody hummed. 

“Good, Ive given the other two videos another watch through and fixed a few things here and there and now I just need to make thumbnails for them.” You nodded and to took to the road to head home, watching the sunset from the passenger window in glances. 

“Ill be home soon, Ill text you when I finish editing ok?”

“Alright, dont forget to eat something”

“I won't, text you later.”

“yeah, by biatch.” You laughed as Melody ended the call and you pulled into your driveway. Quickly getting inside before the cold wind picked up. You let out a sigh of relief as you turned on a few light that lead to your living room where you set up your computers for editing. 

You waisted no time in sitting down and turning on the computer to get to work editing on the footage you had already uploaded into Adobe™. You out on your headphones and played to footage right see what you gas gotten, preparing for the first watch though. 

— — — — — — — ✂ — — —

“Hello ladies and gents, welcome to ‘The Dark Truth: A Candid Conversation with Convicts’. A series where I sit down with criminals and ask them about their crimes from their perspective.” You shuffled in your seat as you motioned to the person in front of you. “I'm sitting here today with Max Watson.” Max nodded and he sat straight in his chair in front of the mic that you had set up in front of him. “Max there's two sides to your story and I want to split that up and take it in parts.”

“Ok.” Max stared at you as he spoke, making you squirm a little in your chair. Max had an intense stare, chocolate brown eyes bore into you as he waited for his turn to speak.

“There was a point in your life when things at home weren't doing so great, how old were you?” Max sighed as he thought. 

“I would say…” Max bounced his head from side to side as he remembered back to his life before being locked up, “I would say when I was about sixteen.” He nodded, content with his answer. 

“Can you tell me about your life before then?”

“Well, for a majority of my life I grew up on the west coast on the cliffs right next to the beach in a beach house, we moved there when I was nine, my sister was six I believe?” 

“How close to the beach were you? Was it a town or just a house?” Max tapped his nose a little before looking at you.

“It was right there, like there was just a road between my front yard and the carved in stairs that led down to the beach.” Max used his hands to map out the layout of his house on the table.

“Did you have neighbors?” Max titled his head to the side as he scratched his head, tangling his fingers into his hair that matched his eyes. 

“I had like one, I think.” Max placed his hand back onto the table as he lifted his head to an upright position, “They weren't super close but not far either. My mom hated it.”

“She hated the beach house?” He nodded. 

“Yes, my mom has a very intense fear of the ocean, she never wanted to move into that house.” You opened your mouth to speak but Max beat you to it. “My dad didn't care, we moved anyway.”

“Did they argue about it?”

“Of course. My dad was an architect and he made that house we moved into.”

“Were you upset when you moved?” 

Max shook his head while you readjusted yourself. “No, I was a daddy's boy, if he wanted to move then I would follow without a second thought. And he made that house for me.”

“He made it for you?” Max nodded, “how so?” Max's eyes seemed to sparkle as he rubbed his hands together, excited to tell the story. 

“I had always seen people surf in movies and tv and I wanted to learn how and told my dad about it all the time and so he designed a beach house for me.” You nodded a little. A cute memory of Max and his dad but you reminded yourself where you were both sitting.

“Do you think people are living in that house now?” He shrugged. 

“I don't know, honestly it makes me angry to think about that. That the house my dad made for me is being lived in by other people.” You nodded in understanding. 

“Can you tell me about your mom? Were you close?” Max whined a little and shook his head sheepishly as he scratched his head. He chuckled a little before placing his hand on his thighs. 

“I didn't really care for her.” Max looked down at the table, “She was in the way most of the time.” Max looked back up at you, “my sister was always with her.”

“They were close weren't they.”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about your sister?”

“Not much to say, she was in the way too.”

“You don't love her?”

“Not really.” Max shook his head and almost shivered at the thought, “She wanted to be a detective so she was always talking about clues and mysteries. I know she loved Sherlock Holmes. Called me her Watson and all but made me play detective with her.”

“This beach house, did you ever learn to surf?” Max perked up at your question and nodded excitedly.

“I did.” Max leaned in, “my dad got me a surfboard and I spent all morning everyday out on the water learning.” Max smiled fondly at the memory, “I would stay our and watch the sunrise all the time, and the sunsets were just as devine.” 

“Wow, it must have been beautiful.”

“Oh always.” Max tapped the table a little, “I loved it, I would watch the sunset almost every day.” He sighed before scratching his hand, “not always but at least I never missed a sunrise.” You nodded as your rubbed your arms and stretched your back.

“i'm assuming you got better over the years?”

“Yes, I was doing surfing competitions by the time I was in High School. My dad would go but my sister and mom never did.”

“Mmm. So while you got better your mom got worse.”

“Yeah.”

“How bad did it get?”

“She got really pale, she never went out because you would just be looking at the ocean so she only ever went out to the backyard but it wasn't often.” Max scratched his head again, “She and my sister would beg to move so mom could get better but my said would just tell them ‘we're not moving’ to their faces.” 

“Why didn't your mom just have her family come take her away?”

“She wasn't close with her family ever, like no contact so she didn't have anywhere to go.” You hummed a response and tapped the table a little. 

“What happened when you were sixteen?”

“My dad died.” Max's voice was flat as he stared at you, almost glaring at you for asking. “Car accident, he was coming home from town at night and was hit by a group of teenagers that were driving on the wrong side and my dad swerved but so did they and they pushed him off the side of that cliff.”

“Did you know the teenagers that were in the car?” Max clenched his teeth and began grinding his jaw before nodding.

“All of them were in my English class.” Max shook his head in a disapproving way, “They couldn't even look at me.” Max shuffled in his chair and clenched his fists to calm himself down, “They tried for weeks to apologize and make it up for me but I wasn't gonna let them.”

“Their apologies wouldn't bring your dad back.” Max looked at you stunned.

“Yeah.” Max couldn't be angry anymore, he looked around awkwardly before looking back at you. “It was really hard for me, I guess it was also hard for my mom and my sister.” 

“You were the man of the house at that point.” 

“I was, my dad left me a majority for his things and the house, while my mom and my sister got some money.”

“Did you keep surfing?”

“I had too.” Max stared at the mic in front of him, “Surfing was my thing. It helped me cope.” 

“Things didn't get better with your mom after your dad passed, did they.” Max shook his head. 

“No, I was sixteen when my dad passed and eighteen when my mom lost her vision.”

“Your mom listed her vision? Was it an eye disease?”

“No, it was self-inflicted.” You raised your eyebrows in shock, “I look a lot like my dad and when he passed my mom didn't have many ways to cope, I don't know if she didn't try or it wasn't working but she started calling me Willas–my dads name–and kept telling me to not go outside and stay out of the water and telling me that we should move away for Max's safety and I was sick of it honestly.”max shrugged as he waved his arms about slightly before leaving then. on his lap. 

“So what did you do?”

“I told her to leave me alone.” Max shook his head, “I thought her fear of deep water was annoying at this point and since I was of age all of the things my dad left me were now in my possession including the house.” Max rubbed his face as he leaned forward again, “so since I was so fed up I grabbed her arms-” Max held one of his forearms and shook it lightly, “ like this and I started dragging her out of the house, telling bee that if she wanted to stay in my house she needed to get over her fear because I wasn't gonna leave.” 

Max let his arm go and propped his head up with his arm on the table, “I didn't get her out of the house but I got her to the front door and she lost her marbles and broke down. My sister was out at the time and she had just gotten home and got really mad at me.”

“She helped your mom back inside?”

“Yeah,” Max rubbed his temples, “a few days later I went out into town to get a few things and even a new board and when I got home I saw my mom on the kitchen floor with a bunch of cleaning products and she was holding this like,” Max moved his hands in front of him to make a cylinder as he thought, “it was like a soup take out thing and she lifted it up and poured it on her face so it would get into her eyes.” You covered your eyes in discomfort before looking back at Max. 

“It was cleaning products, wasn't it.” Max nodded in conformation. 

“Yeah, I called 911 and they confirmed it there and when they had asked her why she said I saw the ocean I saw the deep over and over again.” Max scratched his forehead, “My sister was mad at me that I didn't stop her and well I don't blame her for that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I had ample time to stop her, and I just didn't want to.”

“What was going through your head at that time?”

“I just thought, well maybe if dies she won't be such a nuisance but she didn't and that's when I called 911.” Max glanced down at the mic before looking back to you, “I watched her cry for about…” he shrugged “like almost five minutes.”

“Did your sister ever forgive you for that?”

“Eventually yeah, she shouldn't have.”

“So this was a pretty dark period in your life you'd say, right?” Max hummed a response “Is this where you had met your girlfriend.” Max nodded quickly. 

“Yeah, it was a year later.”

“Where and how exactly did you meet her, your girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Max looked at you stunned again, “No one's asked that before.” He picked at the table a little before leaning towards the mic “Well, I met her–my then girlfriend– on the beach while surfing.” He leaned back in his chair a little, “She was new in town and she was on the beach watching me and when I got out of the water to go back home she stopped me and asked me to teach her.” Max shrugged. 

“And you said yes?” Max laughed a little.

“Kinda, I thought she was pulling my arm so I said meet me here tomorrow at 7 AM and then I'll teach you. And she did.”

“And a love blossomed?” You smiled and Max smiled back. 

“It did, but I always felt like it was too fast.”

“like you got into the relationship too fast?”

“Yeah, it was only like I wanna say,” Max shrugged his shoulders as he looked around. “like a month later?”

“A month? Did you ask her to be your girlfriend?” Max shook his head quickly, a slight look of panic on his face. 

“No no no she asked me.” Max interlocked his fingers with his own. “I would have waited for much longer than a month.”

“I think it's time I asked you the big question.” Max nodded and smiled, “why are you in prison.”

“I'm in prison for killing my girlfriend of four years and her sister.”

“How long were you and your girlfriend in a relationship before you killed her.”

“Four years.”

“That’s quite a while.”

“It was the longest relationship I was in, yes.”

“Why'd you do it?” Max shrugged again. 

“Lyla loved her sister, they were joined at the hip. I knew she loved her because she told me but I never knew just how involved Sidney would be.”

“Sidney was the sister?”

“A huh.” Max nodded as he shuffled. “It was after the first year of us being together that Lyla told me her sister would be moving in with her and I didn't mind because—well what was I gonna do—and Lyla kinda kept blowing me off after that.”

“How so?”

“Like we would make plans to hang out and I would either be stood up or she would bring Sidney without ever letting me know.” Max ran his fingers through his hair and sharply exhaled, “I forgave her and let it slide multiple times before I brought up the issue with her and I said ‘Do you want to break up with me?’ and she was super confused and asked me why I would bring it up and I told her,” Max fixed his posture and tapped the table.

“You've been bringing your sister everywhere with us, or straight up ignoring me. I don't mind that you're hanging out but I want your attention sometimes too, just the two of us because I haven't lately.” You nodded along with him. “I like when people are direct with me, to tell me what bothers them or what they need from me so having to sit Lyla down and listen to me was important.” 

“Did she stop?” Max tilted his head in confusion, “like did she spare some time for just the two of you?” Max shook his head. 

“No,” He shrugged, “well she did but it was just for one week and even then she was texting her sister constantly.”

“And when did you tell her this?”

“It was two years into the relationship, then a year went past and I sat her down again and said ‘I already told you once, I want your attention sometimes too and you didn't listen to me, why?’ and she tried to defend herself and shit but it just caused the argument to escalate.”

“Did you hit her?” 

“No, but I grabbed a vase that was near me and threw it at the wall and left, which isn't great either.” Max shrugged again, “I regretted it after I got home.”

“When did you decide you wanted to kill her sister Sidney?”

“Honestly after she moved in with Lyla. Like I saw how close they were and how I was being pushed to the side I just, “ Max sighed. “I never shook the idea off and as the years went on it only made more sense to me that she should die.”

“What happened that day?”

“We were hanging out at her house and for once I thought, finally I can have her to myself for a little while, and then she looked at her phone really quick and told me, Sidney’s coming home soon so we can all hang out–and my first reaction was to get up and leave because I was getting sick of it, I wanted out and Lyla begged me to stay and I did.”

“What did she tell you?”

“Just to stay and hang out, that it would only be a little while but she said it in this very sweet way and couldn't say no. And then when Sidney got there she all but shoved me to the side as she went to greet her as if she doesn't live there with her and I said I was gonna go to the kitchen and make myself something to eat and Lyla looked at me and responded with ‘get me and Sidney something something eat too will ya darling?’ and that shit got on my nerves.” Max rubbed his face before continuing. 

“I had wanted to make myself a sandwich but I could hear Lyla and Sidney laughing in the other room and I couldn't focus on anything besides the fact that I wanted her dead.” You felt a chill run down your spine as you listened, keeping poker face on you let Max continue. “Like I grabbed a knife and looked at it as I thought about it and it wasn't long before Sidney got up and left again to the store or whatever and Lyla called me out to the living room and I went.”

“Did killing Lyla cross your mind at all?”

“Briefly, in that moment when I stood behind her I thought ‘do I really want to kill my girlfriend? yeah’ and then I turned her to look at me, covered her mouth with my hand, pushed her down and stabbed her.”

“How many times did you stab her?”

“At least six or seven times, I didn't really count but I wore myself out, I was tired so when she stopped moving I got up and sat on the couch next to her.”

“Were you waiting for Sidney to come back?”

“Of course, I killed Lyla but I wanted Sidney dead too. I waited for about fifteen minutes before Sidney got back and I stood by the door.”

“Did she scream when she saw what you did?” Max shook his head once more. 

“No, Sidney was looking at the ground when she came in and turned her back to where I was standing–” you cut Max off. 

“Where were you standing?”

“I was by Lyla's body, like I wasn't trying to cover it, I wanted Sidney to see Lyla like that.” 

“Why?” Max shrugged and you nodded as a chill ran down your spine again. 

“I just wanted Sidney to see her like that, and when she did I covered her mouth with my hand and pushed her against the door before stabbing her too.”

“Did you know you were gonna get caught?” Max nodded. 

“I did but I didn't know how long it would take.” Max scratched his hand, “I washed the knife, got into a change of clothes and went home, it was kinda late so I just entered to bed.”

“How were you caught?

“Lyla had nosy neighbors and she lived more in like an actual residential area so they probably heard the screams I don't doubt it.”

“Where were you when you were caught.”

“Take a wild guess.” Max laughed a little and you felt the blood drain from your face. “I was out on the water, I figured they would come the next day but I wanted to surf one more time before I was taken in.”

“What did they say?”

“They just waited on the beach and told me to come back to shore and I took my time so I could watched the sunrise and I did. I didn't fight or resist I just wanted this over with, even with the interrogation, the dude just hadn't even sit down and I told him. 

“You told him you did it? What did you say?”

“Yea I just said ‘your here because of Layla and Sidney Rowland, they were found in 736 Coral Road, yeah I killed them.’ and he was stunned.” There was a long silence between you and Max. 

“What's your sentence, Max.” 

“Life without parole.”

“How many years into your sentence are you?”

“Three years, I'm 25 now.”

“Do you regret killing Lyla?” Max stayed quiet for a while. 

“Sometimes. I really did like her.”

“Would you do it again?”

“Kill? Yea.”

“Thats all the questions I have, thank you for sitting down with me Max.” You stood up from the table you were sitting at and held your hand out to him. Max stared at your hand before looking over to the prison guards standing and watching you both. 

“Can I shake their hand?” The guards looked at one another and nodded, giving him the green light. Max reached over and gave your hand a shake before standing up and making his way to the guards while you collected the mics. “It was nice talking to someone Y/N, thanks.”

You looked up at Max who was being escorted away and you gave a nod. “Thank you for sitting down with me.” You and Max shared a laugh. 

“As much fun as I has with this interview and talking to you, I hope I never see you again.” Max spoke with seriousness that left you a little shaken.

“Why not?”

“I like getting attention all to myself, I get used to it very fast.” You dropped the smile on your face and Max shot you a playful wink before laughing at your reaction and following the guards back into the building. You quickly walked over to your camer that stood on it's tripod and you stopped the recording. 

You were starring at your own shirt on the computer monitor. You rubbed your face as you were put back in that prison with Max. The things he told you as he left burned into your mind and made your stomach feel funny. You took off your headphones and put them on your desk before walking over to the large floor to ceiling windows and stood there, looking out to the dark ocean that spread out right across the street.