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antique-traveler · 3 years ago

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and then they do that more

read it on ao3

4.6k, T, mattfoggy, brief reference to suicidal thoughts (matt's attempt in s3)

Matt's overjoyed by the way his friendship with Foggy has been revived. They're even closer than they'd been before Midland Circle; now they say "I love you" every chance they get, and they hold hands when they walk together, and Foggy greets him with light kisses. He's so happy that Foggy's his best friend.

It’s been three days since Father Lantom’s funeral. Three days since Matt Murdock officially decided to be himself again, three days since he offered his mother a chance, three days since his name was written on another napkin. It’s been three days, and now Matt’s accompanying Foggy to Josie’s for the first time in what feels like forever. The air is humid and musty, the whole room is filled with noise, and every surface is slightly sticky. Just as it should be.

“You know,” Foggy sniffs into his whiskey, “I really thought she of all people would understand. I mean, I was the one who told her to leave Landman and Zack and get her soul back. You’d think she’d support me in getting mine back, too!”

“Yeah, buddy. You’d think,” Matt agrees, frugally sipping his beer. One of them should probably be sober tonight, and it already isn’t Foggy. He leans forward onto the tacky table and adjusts his glasses. “Think of it this way: if Marci wasn’t gonna be supportive of you quitting and starting our new firm, then it’s better to find that out now while we’re still setting up our shoebox office instead of twenty years down the line when she divorces you and takes half of the millions you’re gonna make.”

Foggy laughs sadly. “Why do you always have to be so right, Matt?”

“I’m not,” Matt mutters, the darkness in his voice hopefully being muffled by his pint glass.

Foggy shifts in his seat and puts on a more chipper voice. “Enough of me complaining about my now-nonexistent love life. What’s up in Mattland?”

Matt laughs and leans back in the booth. “Nothing that you don’t know about, Fog. Bruises are starting to feel a little better. Little less sore today than I was yesterday. You know how it goes.”

“Yeah, boy do I,” Foggy scoffs. “You know, you’d probably have less bruises if you hadn’t gone up against Fisk in an undershirt and sweatpants.”

“Well, two Daredevils fighting each other would certainly make for a more interesting front page.” Matt clenches his jaw and tries not to think about Poindexter in his suit, going by his name.

“You probably could’ve still been the only double-D in town if you’d just been wearing the suit from the get-go.” Foggy finishes off his glass and tilts his head at Matt. “Why’d you stop wearing it in the first place?”

Now then, there’s a path that Matt doesn’t want to go down. He’s ashamed to admit that part of the rationale still makes sense to him, at least a little bit. He put the black suit back on to let himself get hurt, to take away his last line of defenses and leave him bare and naked for anyone to make the killing blow.

Tightening his grip on his beer, Matt clears his throat. “I, uh… I wanted to be more vulnerable.”

Foggy juts his chin inwards in confusion. “You wanted to be more vulnerable?”

“Yeah,” Matt says simply before taking a large gulp of beer, waiting for Foggy to pick up on his meaning so he won’t have to explain it.

Suddenly Foggy stills and his shoulders slacken. “Oh,” he whispers.

Matt had told Foggy and Karen that he wouldn’t keep any more secrets. He has so few left now, and some childish instinct deep inside of him makes him want to clutch onto this one, hold it close to his chest and hiss “mine” at anyone who tries to take it from him. There’s another side of him though, the side that wants to keep Foggy and Karen and this new life they’re starting to build together, and that side knows that he needs to tell Foggy about holding out that lead pipe.

“The first night I went back out,” Matt divulges, “I was losing. By a lot. I got knocked down, and I just– everything hurt. And there was this pipe right next to me, on the ground, so I picked it up, and I handed it to one of the guys, and I just– I waited, Fogs. I just waited.” Matt cuts himself when he hears the quiver in Foggy’s voice. Foggy’s smart enough, he doesn’t need Matt to elaborate any more.

Before he can react, Foggy’s arms are wrapped around Matt’s shoulders and his face is buried in Matt’s neck. Matt almost makes himself resist, save face and keep his stoic persona in place, but God, he’s missed this. He’s missed Foggy’s arms around him and his scent filling his lungs. Matt circles his arms around Foggy’s middle and squeezes, pushing his face into his shoulder and inhaling with all he’s got. Matt can feel the collar of his shirt start to get damp and taste the salt in the air, but he doesn’t care. He just hugs Foggy back and promises to himself that he’ll never make him cry like this again.

“Matty,” Foggy says from deep within Matt’s shoulder, “I love you. I should’ve told you more. I should tell you more. I love you so much, buddy.”

Something low in Matt’s gut sparks warmly and he squeezes Foggy tighter for an instant before letting go and letting Foggy see his face. “I love you, too, Foggy.”

“We gotta say it all the time, okay?” Foggy slurs. “‘M gonna tell you I love you all the time.”

Matt smiles and ignores the wetness in his eyes and the heat in his chest. “Me, too, Fogs.”

And then they do that more.

All their time together is filled with “I love you”s, as a hello, as a goodbye, as a “thanks for the coffee”, or just a “thanks for being here”. The first few days, Karen laughs every time they say it, as if they’re just doing it to embarrass each other, but soon she just smiles and sighs at them each time they remind each other that they’re loved.

Sometimes Foggy ups the ante. When Matt surprises him with coffee on a particularly dreary morning, he says “Matt, I adore you.” When he sees that all his paperwork’s already been digitally finished by Matt, he says “Ugh, marry me, Matthew.” When Matt comes into work bruise-free three days in a row, he says “Matt, I love you more than anything in the world”.

His heart beats steady and true every time he says it.

Matt had almost forgotten what it felt like to actually have a friendship as easy as Foggy’s. He’d spent so long isolating himself and convincing himself that Stick’s mantra was true, that friends just weighed him down, that now he’s completely filled with warmth every time Foggy says “I love you”. It seems that with each time they say it, the shared wounds they have start to heal the littlest bit more and the scars start to fade.

Eventually Foggy starts saying it even when Matt can’t respond. When Matt’s across a busy street, waiting for Foggy to join him to walk to work together, Foggy will say it into the air and trust the wind to carry it over to Matt’s ears. A few times, they get separated in a crowded courtroom and Foggy will whisper it under his breath and make Matt’s face heat up from all the way across the room with how happy he is.

Soon enough, every night that Matt’s on patrol, Foggy will say “I love you” out his open window before he goes to bed. No matter where he is in Hell’s Kitchen, Matt always hears him, and always says it back.

Pretty soon it’s January and colder than Everest and Matt and Foggy are walking down the street on the way to work. Foggy said “I love you” when he met Matt outside his building, and Matt said it back like it was nothing, relishing in the heat that pooled in his stomach as he tucked his hand into Foggy’s elbow and braved the biting wind.

“But there’s no way the government would just… let that all happen!” Foggy argues through chattering teeth.

“Foggy,” Matt laughs, “you’re missing the point. You gotta suspend your disbelief a little more.”

“I’m just saying that it’s clearly an invasion of Truman’s privacy. He didn’t consent to being a… a fucking TV character.” Foggy pulls Matt a little closer as they walk and huddles into his side, and Matt feels heat bloom from every point of contact they share. Foggy’s breath, surely puffing out of him in clouds of hot steam, smells like coffee and toothpaste and he quietly hums some old Destiny’s Child song whenever he’s not talking and his steps have synced up to the rhythm of Matt’s own steps and tapping cane.

A car speeds past them and hits Matt with a gust of freezing wind, and he shudders a little bit into Foggy’s side. Without even thinking about it, Matt moves his hand down and laces his trembling, gloved fingers between Foggy’s, letting their arms swing between them as they walk. Foggy doesn’t mention it at all, just continues on rambling about the movie they watched together last night.

“I could easily argue that forcing Truman to watch his dad die like that was child abuse. I mean, it clearly traumatized him.” Foggy casually grips Matt’s hand like it’s natural, and they keep holding hands the whole way to their little office above Nelson’s Meats.

And then they do that more.

Everywhere they walk together, Matt holds Foggy’s hand instead of his elbow, and neither of them so much as mentions it. Matt’s hand fits so perfectly in Foggy’s that he almost thinks it’s weird that it took them so long to start doing this. The spaces between their fingers and the topography of their palms match together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, there’s no uncomfortable overlapping or empty spaces anywhere.

Matt’s so unendingly happy that his friendship with Foggy has healed to the point where they can touch each other so naturally again that each time he takes Foggy’s hand his body floods with heat and he can’t help the smile that crosses his lips.

Soon it bleeds over into the rest of their day, too. Sitting next to each other at the shared little table that they misleadingly call a desk, Foggy will press his thigh against Matt’s or hook their ankles together beneath the table. On movie nights, Matt will gladly tuck himself into Foggy’s side and let him rest an arm around Matt’s shoulders as he narrates.

One time Karen walks in on Matt pouring two mugs of her “coffee” while Foggy hugs him from behind, chin resting on Matt’s shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist. She leans against the doorframe and says, “It’s like seeing a mother gorilla carry her young on her back,” with a knowing sort of sarcasm in her voice.

There’s a day when Matt gets back from a lunch meeting to find their little office flooded with the scent of croissants. Karen and Foggy are standing by her little desk pulling the pastries out of a loud paper bag, and they both light up when Matt leans his cane on the wall and shuts the door behind him

“Oh, Matthieu!” Foggy yells in a horrible French accent. He rushes over and grabs both of Matt’s shoulders before kissing him on the right cheek, then the left, then the right again. Matt burns hot. “I ‘ave found les croissants on ze sale, and now we will eat like kings- uh, Karen, how do you say ‘kings’ in French?”

“Already Googling it,” she giggles from the desk. “Uh, les rois?”

Foggy turns back to Matt and throws his arms up. “We will eat like les rois!”

Matt laughs, gladly accepting a warm croissant from Karen and tries to ignore the tingling feeling that lingers on his cheeks from where Foggy bise-ed him.

And then they do that more.

Now their greetings go like this:

Step one: “Hey, love you!” “Hey, buddy, love you, too.” Step two: at least one kiss on the cheek, depending on how much Foggy wants to make fun of French people. Step three: weave their hands together as they walk, and let the conversation steadily devolve into nonsense on the way to work.

Matt loves it, loves that Foggy feels this comfortable around him again. It’s such a far cry from those months after dissolving Nelson & Murdock, before Midland Circle. Then, he’d just get the occasional voicemail from Foggy congratulating him on a case, or giving him strained encouragement to not hunt down the guy that left his wife’s body floating by the docks. If they ever ran into each other on the street or in a cafe, they’d just exchange awkward pleasantries before finding mutual excuses to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

But now Matt gets a kiss on the cheek and a hand in his and he’s told every day that Foggy loves him. The phrase doesn’t get diluted throughout the weeks, either. It means just as much to both of them the first time they said it as it does the hundredth. It means “you’re my best friend in the world, and if you ever start to forget that I’ll just remind you again”. It means “my life is better because you’re in it. I didn’t tell you enough then, but I’ll tell you now, as many times as you need to hear it.”

Well, it means “I love you”.

They’re drunk the first time it happens, of course they are. They’ve just signed the lease on the new offices of Nelson, Murdock, & Page, and Foggy insisted that they get shitfaced tonight and start packing up tomorrow with hangovers. Matt somehow draws the short straw again and resigns himself to his role as Foggy and Karen’s chaperone. Which isn’t to say that he’s not also sloshed, of course, just that he’s the only one out of the three of them who can actually walk in a straight line by the end of the night.

Karen is dropped off first, her and Foggy both loudly singing Bridge Over Troubled Water on the whole walk to her apartment building, despite neither of them knowing the words. Karen calls Matt “devil boy” as she says goodbye, and Matt doesn’t hold back his laugh.

On the way to Foggy’s building, they walk the same way they always do– hand in hand, pressed tight against each other– just notably slanted as Foggy makes Matt shoulder most of his weight. Foggy keeps humming the whole way, and Matt can’t even be mad at him for getting the song stuck in his head for what will probably be the next week. He’s always had a soft spot for Foggy’s renditions of Simon and Garfunkel. Foggy leans against the wall by the door when they finally reach his building, and Matt can see his glowing smile fill out his entire fiery silhouette.

Foggy finally mumbles out a “G’night,” and Matt starts to kiss Foggy’s cheek like they always do, but Foggy puts a hand on his chest before he can finish. Matt immediately worries that it’s his fault, that all their new habits have actually been crossing a line and Foggy didn’t want to tell him, but then Foggy giggles and wraps a hand around the loose knot in Matt’s tie and places a quick kiss right on Matt’s lips.

Something in Matt’s chest burns bright and hot like flash paper and he smiles like a little kid when Foggy pulls away, laughing a little at the ridiculousness of it all. Foggy lazily swings open the door and calls out “Love you, buddy!” as he steps in.

Matt drops down each of the stairs and throws it back with just as much gusto. “Love you, too, Fog!”

His whole face is hot and he almost doesn’t mind the lingering March cold, because this is how far he and Foggy have come. Things aren’t just the way they were before Midland Circle and the Castle case, they’re better. He and Foggy are closer than they’ve ever been, and it’s an amazing feeling to have this kind of friendship in his life, the kind he used to dream about as a lonely kid in an orphanage.

And then they do that more.

Their kisses on the cheek are replaced by brief pecs on the lips, and Matt is giddy with it. He takes the feeling he gets each time Foggy says “hello” with a kiss and folds it up deep inside him, wrapping it up in wax paper to save for later when he’s bracing himself on the concrete with a bloody nose and aching ribs, to remind himself who he’s making it through the night for.

The day that it finally comes to a head, Foggy has to leave the office early for an optometrist appointment. He complains about having to get his eyes dilated and wear those dorky little disposable sunglasses they give you afterwards, and Matt dryly says that sighted people are so needy for having to get their vision checked, as if he hadn’t been to more optometrist appointments than he could count in the first year after his accident.

He and Karen hold down the fort at their brand new office (well, definitely not brand new, just newly rented) for the rest of the day, and they take their time closing up, tossing easy banter back and forth like they haven’t since before Frank Castle came into their lives.

“Hey, did you see that email I sent you about our new contract format?” she asks, carefully Tetris-ing all of her pens and notepads and other miscellany into her desk drawers.

Matt quirks up his lip and replies, “No, I didn’t see that, actually. Been a while since I saw anything, really–”

“Oh, shut up,” Karen says, throwing a pencil at his face that he catches in midair just to show off.

Matt laughs brightly and Karen stills from across the room. “It’s good to hear you laugh like that again,” she says, and Matt cocks his head in confusion. She clarifies, “You haven’t really laughed like that since before Confederated Global. This new thing with Foggy really makes you happy, huh?”

“New thing with Foggy…?” Matt asks slowly. There is no “new thing” with Foggy, they’re the same best friends they’ve always been, only now they’re better at showing it.

“Yeah, you know, you two going out, like, officially.” She gives a little shrug and the smile in her voice is clear and easy.

Now Matt’s really confused. “Foggy and I aren’t going out.”

Karen scoffs. “Ha-ha,” she intones dryly, “sure. And I’m secretly Black Widow.”

“No, Karen,” Matt forces out a strained, disbelieving laugh. “Foggy and I aren’t dating. We’re both straight.”

Karen straightens her posture. “Matt, come on, you don’t have to hide it from me. You guys have been kissing and holding hands for, like, months now. I’m not homophobic or anything.”

Matt takes a determined step forward and tries to parse what she’s saying. “Karen, I’m telling you the truth, here. Foggy and I aren’t in a relationship. Neither of us are gay, or– or bi or whatever. We’re just friends.”

Karen digests his words for a moment, then slings her purse over her shoulder and crosses the room, resting a hand on Matt’s cheek consolingly. “Matt, you can’t see the way he looks at you, but I can. Holding hands and kissing each other and saying ‘I love you’ all the time… those aren’t things people do with people they’re ‘just friends’ with.”

Before Matt can respond, Karen slides her hand off his cheek and leaves the office, the click of her kitten heels on the linoleum floor echoing down the hallway as she walks. Matt stands frozen in the office for… he doesn’t even know how long.

You can’t see the way he looks at you, but I can.

Matt throws his satchel over his shoulder, grabs his cane, and flicks off the lights haphazardly before taking long strides down the stairs and out of the building. The voices of people passing him on the street blur together into a static that barely rises over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. Matt’s straight, always has been, and so’s Foggy. There’s never been anything between them other than friendship, it just took Matt so long to realize what friendship actually felt like.

Their first few months at Columbia, Matt had been completely thrown off kilter by the way Foggy made his heartbeat waver with just a single touch or sincere compliment. It wasn’t until Foggy called Matt his best friend for the first time that Matt realized oh, this is the first time I’ve ever had a best friend. The first time I’ve ever had a friend.

And now he’s just finally not afraid to express that friendship to Foggy, with kisses and hand holding and “I love you”s.

Except. Except Karen is his friend, and he doesn’t do any of that with her. And Karen doesn’t make him heat up every time she says his name. And Karen doesn’t fill his stomach with butterflies and moths and all sorts of other buzzing things when she hugs him. And Karen doesn’t make his skin tingle every time they touch. And Karen doesn’t hold his hand. And Karen doesn’t kiss him. And Karen doesn’t say “I love you”.

Matt makes it to Foggy’s building sooner than he was expecting to, and, not wanting to wait for the elevator, he bounds up the four flights of stairs to Foggy’s apartment. As he strides down the hallway, he feels like he’s running in a dream, like each step he takes only amounts to a few inches of movement, and his target keeps stretching further and further away. The floor is a treadmill carrying him away from where he desperately needs to be, and he fights tooth and nail against it until he’s finally knocking on Foggy’s door.

Matt folds up his cane and shoves it in his satchel while Foggy comes to the door. When he opens it, he doesn’t even have time to finish saying “hello” before Matt grabs his face and pulls him into a kiss, deeper than they’ve ever had before. Matt tilts his head and sighs into Foggy’s mouth as he tentatively kisses back, and he feels that flash paper feeling spread through his whole body, lighting him up with joy and finality and a little bit of fear. Matt knots his fingers in Foggy’s hair, relishes in Foggy’s hand gently coming up to rest on his hip, then forces himself to pull away before he melts into the floor.

Foggy stands there, dumbstruck, and all Matt can say is, “Okay, I’m definitely not straight.”

Foggy stares at him for another moment before stuttering out, “Wh- What?”

“I’m not straight,” Matt repeats breathlessly.

“O– Okay, thanks for… letting me know. After kissing me?” Matt sighs and steps past Foggy into his apartment, grateful when Foggy just wordlessly closes the door behind him and follows him into the living room. “Do you wanna enlighten me a little on what’s going on right now?”

“Karen thinks we’re in a relationship,” Matt says without any preamble. “She said that I’ve been happier since you and I started this ‘new thing’, and I told her that we weren’t together, and that I was straight. Because I thought I was, but I– I’m definitely not. And then she said that all the– the kissing and everything we’ve been doing isn’t stuff that most people do with their best friends, and she said that…” Matt swallows and takes a deep breath, “she said that she saw the way you look at me.”

Foggy takes a step towards Matt and crosses his arms. “What are you trying to say here?”

Matt lets out a long breath and resigns himself to his fate. “I’m trying to say that just now you made me realize that I like men. And honestly, we kind of are dating, aren’t we? In everything but name, I guess. And I– fuck, I’m trying to say that I think I love you. Not in the way we’ve been saying it for the past few months. I think I’m in love with you, Fogs.”

For a moment the only sound in the room is both of their racing hearts, until Foggy breathes shakily and says, “I need to sit down.”

Matt drops his satchel on one of the barstools in front of the kitchen counter and nervously follows him to the couch, trying not to focus too hard on the sound that Foggy’s hair makes as he runs his hands through it and the earthy sandalwood scent of shampoo that it releases in the process.

“Why–” Foggy starts before catching in a breath, “why do you think you’re in love with me, Matt?”

Matt feels his face burn hotter than the sun and takes a moment to think. A list forms in his head of every time that warmth has filled his gut, his face, his skin because of Foggy, and he clears his throat. “You… you put this heat in me, Foggy. Every time you touch me or hold my hand or– or just say my name, it’s like there’s something burning under my skin. But it doesn’t hurt, it’s like a hot bath. And when I make a joke and I get you to laugh, all I can think is that, God, I’d do anything to make you keep laughing like that forever. It’s like every time in my life that I’ve ever felt happy, all of that is nothing compared to the way I feel when I’m with you, Fogs.”

If Matt’s heartbeat is going a mile a minute, then Foggy’s has reached Mach 8. He stares at Matt for a moment, and Matt thinks he’s about to get the most painful rejection of his life, but then there’s a hand on his cheek, pulling him forward until his lips are on Foggy’s again. It starts off far slower than their last kiss, Foggy just inhales and then pushes himself into Matt, who welcomes him gladly. After a few seconds though, Matt pushes his tongue into Foggy’s mouth and Foggy places a warm hand high on Matt’s thigh, and the kiss turns bruising. Matt feels his pants get a little tighter, and, if his blood flow is anything to go by, Foggy’s feeling the same way.

Eventually they break apart, gasping for breath, and Foggy leans his forehead against Matt’s. “So,” he says between breaths, “definitely not straight.”

Matt laughs a little nervously, “And?”

“And,” Foggy says as he pulls away, a soft smile shaping his words, “I think I’m a little in love with you, too.”

Matt beams and surges forward again, straddling Foggy’s lap and holding his face in both hands as he bites at his bottom lip. Foggy puts his hands on Matt’s hips and squeezes, forcing a low groan out of Matt’s throat. Feeling both of them start to get harder, Matt pulls away again.

“I’ve never slept with a man before,” he whispers.

“Duh,” Foggy laughs, “me neither.”

Putting on the hungry smile he knows women always love, Matt shrugs off his suit jacket and slides the knot out of his tie before slowly starting to unbutton his collar. Foggy takes in a shaky breath and his heartbeat somehow gets even faster at the sight of what Matt knows is an impressive chest. He rolls his shoulders back and tenses the muscles there in the way that his sighted partners always drool over, and delights in the sigh that Foggy lets out.

Matt leans back in, squeezing Foggy’s hips with his knees, and kisses him again. Foggy kisses Matt. And Matt kisses Foggy.

And then they do that more.

#my fic #daredevil #mattfoggy #matt murdock #foggy nelson #nmcu #netflix daredevil #daredevil fanfiction

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dotsayers · 3 years ago

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20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

tagged by the beloved @myrmidryad

this is a LONG one so here’s a cut to avoid do you love the colour of the sky syndrome

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

101 after a recent purge... no one may know about my Past

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

329004! used to be about 350k but again... purge

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

on ao3 i’ve written for (chronologically) doctor who, skyfall, discworld, les mis, star trek, lord peter wimsey, marvel (various), in the flesh, red vs blue, roosterteeth rpf, check please, hockey rpf, star wars, daredevil, rivers of london, dishonored, emmerdale, dirk gently, holby city, hot fuzz, kj charles, guardian, the covert captain, taskmaster rpf, good omens, ghosts, roswell new mexico, leverage, schitt’s creek, the magicians, 9-1-1, it chapter two, the magnus archives, the old guard, the mandalorian, the ritual, the locked tomb

way back on the pit of voles i wrote for twilight, harry potter, hetalia and xmen first class. and on the newsround chatrooms i wrote exclusively harry potter fic about my oc neville and luna’s daughter

as you can tell i am not prone to staying in one fandom writing wise, i tend to end up with one complete fic and seven abandoned wips concealed deep in my google drive

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

finally see what it means to be living (captain marvel, carol/maria, i really hit the zeitgeist with this one i think i was something like the fifth fic in the ship tag)

do whatever you think (the magnus archives, this series is actually #2-7, then #8 #9 and #11 for me so i’m going to cheat a bit)

standing in a world of my own (daredevil, matt/foggy/karen, another zeitgeist hit! really miss writing for daredevil actually... it’s a perennial fave)

a winding road that stretches towards the truth (iron man, tony/rhodey, i STILL don’t know when this got so many kudos. i swear i looked away when it was at 100 and suddenly it ended up here)

where the long shadows grow (star trek aos, kirk prime/spock prime, thank god some people are checking the prime kirkspock tag is all i’m saying!)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t really Do angsty endings... possibly a blanket of stars just because i ended it on something of a cliffhanger and then completely zoned out of rnm for long enough that i forgot where i was going with it. there was definitely the intention of fixing things but then i just... did not do that. and now the show is on s3 and i’m over a season behind! life comes at you fast

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

where the long shadows grow, because it reunited kirk prime and spock prime and they DESERVE TO BE HAPPYYYY. i’m a complete sucker for presumed dead/back from the dead stories, actually, so on a similar theme i have two (TWO) daredevil fics which follow the trope, one about ray coming back post-s2 (might never be normal again) and one about foggy and matt reuniting post-endgame (in the corner, taking up space). this is the only time i will ever acknowledge endgame ever again

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i do write crossovers! in fact i am often roundly mocked by my friends for the increasingly esoteric nature of my crossovers. way back in secondary i wrote a twilight/labyrinth crossover where angela was sarah and jareth’s daughter because i had a massive crush on a girl who liked both twilight and labyrinth. however, since that has been comprehensively scrubbed from the internet, i think my craziest crossover is probably part three of ‘traced upon the skies’, already an esoteric crossover of rivers of london and hot fuzz, when i added in a crossover with the horror movie ‘the ritual’ just because i wanted rafe spall’s character to be happy

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

EXTREMELY rarely and only with extreme embarrassment. i will not be any more specific than that

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i used to really struggle with doing this, to the point that i had over 300 comments just. lingering in my inbox unanswered. so i decided to give those up and just commit to answering them from then on, which has been working fairly well for about a year and a half now. i love getting comments but i get overwhelmed really easily and struggle with replying in a way which feels meaningful without getting in my head about it!

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes lmao it was for a harry potter fic on ff.net where harry got sorted into hufflepuff instead of gryffindor. it wasn’t a very good fic but i think the fact it was clearly written by an 11 year old should have scared off at least some of the less flattering comments.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so? i don’t know how i’d find out to be honest, my vanity googling is rarely very effective

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! as bronze may be much beautified (skyfall, mallory/bond) got translated into chinese, i was extremely pleased. i think it’s mandarin but the ao3 page for the translation doesn’t say and my mandarin is.................. extremely poor

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also yes! me and jess little-smartass have written a lot together, although only our star trek/les mis series has been published, more’s the pity. we spent a lot of les mis fandom time workshopping aus and we were always extremely correct about all of it, imo

14. What’s your all time favourite ship to write for?

oh god. i think probably kirk/spock, although there’s some recency bias to that since i reread space manhattans recently and was reminded of my love for them. i really like writing jon/martin but i’ve mostly done that from outsider pov which is a bit different to writing shipfic, i think. joe/nicky from tog was also something i really liked writing but i struggle with plotting longer fic with them

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i recently went through my abandoned fic folder so i actually have a few options for this. the obvious choice would be ‘any of the hockey ones’ but i did delete most of those just for my sanity. more recently i started writing a vaguely smutty pre-the thing mac/fuchs fic for alex @milkdrinker5000 which i really WANT to finish but am struggling with. most obscure answer (even beyond the thing) and most likely to remain unfinished is the insanely in depth post-tog booker/copley fic i had planned out back in about october. i wrote a good 6-7k of that one and then i realised it was going to be, like, difficult, and decided if i was going to put that much work into something it may as well be the novel im meant to be writing

16. What are your writing strengths?

once a friend told me i had an excellent facility for dialogue and ive thought about it every time i write ever since. i love writing dialogue and i think i’m good at knowing what sounds ic and what is right out.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

one of the things i struggled with for a really long time, and honestly still have trouble with, is depicting action in words. once i wrote a hockey fic which featured multiple hockey games and i spent probably four times as much effort editing those to make sense and be interesting that i’ve ever done on a talkier scene.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i’ve done it but only when i knew more or less what i was talking about - i did italian at school so i felt confident using it for nicky in something particular and real. i try not to italicise when i drop in words from other languages, which is what i usually do when i’m using a language i haven’t studied in depth (for example, joe’s use of arabic in some of my fic), and to only use words which i’ve heard used by native speakers in that context. i think if you don’t feel confident using another language, generally speaking, you shouldn’t do it. and for god’s sake don’t use google translate for a full sentence

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter on the newsround chatboards. ariana lovegood-longbottom my sweet child

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this used to be an easy question because hands down the fic i was proudest of on posting it was i’ll be seeing you. i spent a year and a half on research and writing! but these days i do cringe a little at my hockey fic, and i think i’m prouder of some of my shorter works. let’s do a curveball and say layer on layer, down on down, which is my favourite of my rnm fics and the one i like most from a narrative voice perspective. getting michael right was stressful and i’m still proud i got it down for a TIME LOOP FIC, my absolute favourite trope

tagging @little-smartass and @leescoresbies just in case they want to try this

#gin i can't BELIEVE you wrote for xiaolin showdown. iconic #text post tag #tagged in #writing tag

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glycerineclown · 5 years ago

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chapter one of while the iron’s hot is coming out tuesday!

the author’s note is 767 words, so i’m posting it here ahead of time to make sure people will read it. thanks!

NOTES ON THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Frank finished his last tour with the USMC at the age of 29, and it’s been 13 years since then when this story begins, so Frank is 42 years old. Cerberus never happened, and while Curtis and Bill are also veterans, the three of them did not serve together (only because I wouldn’t believe that they’re all kinky and in the same unit). I’ve aged Bill up to his early 40s as well, to make his in-story history more plausible. To ease any minds up-front, he’s “Billy the Beaut” in this fic, not a villain. I have aged Amy (“Rachel”) up to 22. Karen’s childhood from Daredevil S3 is the same, and now she’s a journalist, but I’m ignoring everything else (the stuff with Union Allied never happened, so she never met Nelson & Murdock, et cetera). Karen has not been aged up. No superpowers!

I’ve tried to make the above information obvious in the text, but some of it may be blink-and-you’ll-miss-it. There are of course other changes besides these, but I don’t want to spoil it.

(Me? Do an actual full AU that’s not constrained to the bounds of canon? Good heavens!)

I’m also going to discuss Kilgrave (“The Purple Man”) from Jessica Jones—in this fic he’s still an absolutely vile and abusive rapist scumbag, but has no actual mind control abilities. Any relationships described will be in the past and will not include Karen.

NOTES ON THE BDSM

I have done a decent amount of research, and have tried to offer a pretty accurate description of the way things work in the real life BDSM community if you live in a big city. When it comes to Frank and Karen, though, this is a fantasy built for the characters.

In this fic, Frank (as a more seasoned member of the community) takes Karen (newbie sub) under his wing as a mentor. They partake in some regularly-scheduled, non-sexual BDSM play, and Karen has a crush on him, which is a lie by omission on her part. Their relationship becomes way too intense and involved to be a platonic, healthy mentor-pupil relationship. A mentor is supposed to be someone that the pupil does not play with and isn’t attracted to, in order to limit the amount of influence the mentor has over someone who is still learning. I do think this is a good rule, and this fic probably illustrates a lot of the reasons why it’s a good rule, especially because not everyone will have the same rigid principles that Frank does.

Regardless, this is just a fanfic, and following that rule would not have made a good fanfic. I don’t expect that anybody who’s here to read this anyway will actually have a problem with the way the story plays out, but your mileage may vary and I wanted to acknowledge it.

At the end of the day, I trust Frank and that’s why I’m writing this fic. You trust Frank and that’s why you’re reading it.

Also, BDSM is in no way a stand-in for therapy. Frank should go to therapy, Karen should go to therapy, everyone should go to therapy. And I think it’s a harmful stereotype that people who are into BDSM have mental health issues or serious trauma, but like, there’s no getting around that with this fandom.

NOTES ON THE CURRENT STATE OF THE WORLD

I started writing this fic in early April 2020 during the coronavirus lockdown. And we all know what's happening now, in June 2020. There are protests happening around the globe to demand justice for black people who have been murdered by police in the United States.

I would like to acknowledge that the optics of The Punisher are not great at the moment. I don't love promoting a fanfic about a character that, at least in the comic books, "means so much to the law enforcement community," as Jon has reminded us at literally every opportunity. As far as I'm concerned, that really just means that Frank has long been a power fantasy for white supremacist cops who want to kill black people with impunity. And then there's the whole Karen thing...

So even though this fic is not about police or even about the military, I feel obligated to say this here: DEFUND AND DEMILITARIZE THE POLICE. INVEST IN COMMUNITIES OF COLOR. BLACK LIVES MATTER! And fuck every pickup truck I see on the highway with a Punisher bumper sticker. I will send you a dirty look from the safety of my car.

I considered postponing the release of this first chapter, but I want to add something nice to your newsfeed.

Here’s how I’ve been getting through lockdown—here’s hoping it’ll help you. To all my lonely, touch-starved, horny readers out there, who just want me to shut up and get on with the story already, this one’s for you.

#while the iron's hot #kastle

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amandagaelic · 4 years ago

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1, 17, 19

Hi there -- thanks for swinging by! :) 1. If you’re an author, how many WIPs do you currently have? (Be honest!)

I don’t actually have any WIPs. Honest. The way my brain works, I get an idea, I fixate on that idea, I outline that idea, I eat, sleep, drink that idea, and then I write that idea. I don’t write anything else until that idea has become a story. I may have a story finished and unpublished while I start on another story, but it’s basically like, every story gets its turn in the center of my brain and then...it’s time passes and it just lives on the interwebs.

17. Describe a fic that is still in the ‘ideas’ stage.

So...I tried @whumptober2020 for the first time this year with a MacGyver fic (Undone) and I also had a whumptober idea for Daredevil using the ‘sensory deprivation’ and ‘enemies to friends’ prompts. The idea would be to have it post S3, so Matt’s friends know who he is, the Defenders exist, and the events that Matt survived in S3 are all in full swing. I love having others see Matt--his strengths and his weaknesses--and I thought it would be interesting to have Matt going up against something impossible (as per usual) and be hurt in such a way it impacts his hearing (which, after the events of S3, would be doubly traumatic). Without his hearing, he can’t ‘see’ and he’s basically trapped where he’s fallen. Enter Frank Castle...coming across his nemesis, helpless, at his mercy, basically, and he has to make a choice. But, because Frank is an inherently good guy--and has been tracking all the events with the false DD, Fisk, yadda yadda--he finds himself feeling something almost protective toward Matt. Struggles ensue, communication of some kind happens, bad guys show back up, the duo end up needing each other, there is calamity and angst and desperation and pain, but...ultimately a sense of redemption and, dare we say it, respect. I don’t know if I’ll have time to write it in October, so...if it continues to chew on my brain, it may end up just being a story, rather than a whumptober prompt fill. Additionally, @disappearinginq has been lighting my brain on fire with a Magnum idea regarding wrong place/wrong time-type hostage situations, and I have to say...I’m really liking where this idea is taking me. So...that’s another possibilty.

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

For me, headcanon is less events and more the little character quirks that have little to no basis in the show, but seem to really fit the way we all write the different characters. Like, Mac having PTSD. Or being resistant to sedation. That type of thing. It’s 2:30pm on a Friday and my brain is gone, so I can’t seem to dredge up more than that, but I think you get me, yeah?

#fanfic tag #send me asks #storytelling

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thelonelybrilliance · 5 years ago

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Tagged by @wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey, whose answers I mostly knew bc we talk all day long :D

“Quarantine” Questions and Answers

are you staying home from work/school?

Yes. First WFH day was March 13. I work for the gov, though, so I’m still being paid and I’m very fortunate for that. Also my work is mostly reading/writing/researching so that is...not TOO hard to do from home.

if you’re staying home, who’s there with you?

I’m alone in Manhattan. I don’t want a roommate but I miss friends and family. Also I like the concept of a fluffy cat rn.

Are you a homebody?

Yes, because I’m a creature of habit, but I like the freedom to go out and about. And I wanted to do some traveling this year.

what movies have you watched recently? what shows are you watching?

Rewatching Marvel & Disney movies. Watching a bunch of Kdramas--Rugal (AMAZING), Crash Landing on You (ALSO AMAZING, two eps left), While You Were Sleeping (LEE JONG SUK--no more need be said), My Love From the Star (I needed to finish this ages ago but I’m going to do it this time!)--and the Cdrama Nirvana in Fire, which @abadpoetwithdreams has been reccing for ages.

I’m also catching up on Schitt’s Creek and GBBO. And an episode of The Office here and there.

I am going to finish Jessica Jones s3 and Daredevil s3 soon too, and maybe catch up on Suits and Supernatural and The Witcher.

an event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

I stopped making travel plans when all this started...happening, but I did have to cancel a trip to see @wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey and that was sad. Also in a better world I would have visited my baby nephew for Easter. :(

what music are you listening to?

Taylor. Halsey. Poets of the Fall. Niall’s new album. Various Kdrama OSTs. Lana Del Rey. Disney songs.

what are you reading?

You Never Forget Your First (GW bio) by Alexis Coe

The Last Light of the Sun by Guy Gavriel Kay

Enemy Brothers (again) by Constance Savery

Just finished my reread of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and I also plan to read Red Rising in a bit.

I am also WRITING a lot--fixing up my P&P retelling, Fixing on the Hour, and writing a super-long Silmarillion Gold Rush AU. They’re both on AO3 (@TolkienGirl)

What are you doing for self care?

I walk two miles each day, keep in touch with friends and family, clean my apartment, bake and cook, read and watch my shows, and stay in touch with my coworker.

Life is very sucky right now and distraction = survival. Plus I’m so much more fortunate than many others right now.

#tumblr games #coronavirus #about me

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myriadimagines · 5 years ago

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God’s Soldier

Marvel (The Defenders) One Shot

Pairing: Reader x Matthew Murdock

Other Characters: –

Warnings: death

Request: –

Word Count: 722

A/N: I just finALLY finished S3 of Daredevil and it is so rich I can’t even begin to describe. All the stuff about God in just the first two episodes just......... got me. Anyway, I was inspired, so here is this hot mess that I wrote on a 12 hour flight that sounded a lot better in my sleep deprived head. Good luck figuring out what I was trying to write because clearly, I didn’t know. Enjoy.

please reblog/leave comments, they’re very much appreciated!

The world drowns him every morning, pushing him under the tidal waves to flail helplessly for a single breath. It leaves him choking, spluttering blood against the porcelain sink, the metallic taste almost overpowering the thick layer of ash that covers his tongue and the lingering flavour of your lips on his, your last breath swallowed in his mouth.

He carries the weight of your dying body in his arms every where he goes, carries the weight of the cement crashing down on him with his decision to leave everyone and everything behind for you. It’s become part of his own body weight now, a part of him that his braided into him, intricately laced into his sinews and burned into his muscles. He can never rid of the weight, and he’s not sure he wants to.

It didn’t matter now. You, Foggy, Karen — the people Matt Murdock once cared about, loved in his own way, all paid a painful price for being close to him. But Matt Murdock was dead, now part of the Midland Circle debris to never be recovered, and the Devil wasn’t going to make the same mistakes.

He was always an angry, broken child, he’s been told, always brimming with fury at the world and all it’s taken from him and all it continues to take. Perhaps the anger was supposed to dissipate with age, yet it only strengthened, a bonfire burning away in his ribcage, smoke pluming from his throat and out of his mouth like a chimney with each scorching word that leaves his lips. He can feel the flames lapping at his bones, could feel the heat pumping through his veins with each beat of his heart. Every inch of his body is an insatiable inferno, his knuckles set ablaze each time it connects with the makeshift punching bag he hangs from the church ceiling, each time his fist hits against flesh. He hates how good it feels, hates how he only steps deeper into the flames rather than away. He no longer worries about his world burning down around him when he lives within the heat, grows used to the scalding sensation. But the longer he lingers in the fire, the harder it is for him to tell when he is being burned alive.

He grows used to the musty smell of smoke that singes his nostrils. Or perhaps it is the smell of his own charring skin.

Perhaps his anger was misplaced, directed at the wrong places his whole life. He was a loyal servant to God his whole life, God’s soldier, so he believed, a mindless follower fulfilling what he believed to be God’s deeds. He had believed everything thrown his way was part of God’s plan, a challenge for him to overcome. But he knows better now. Knows better than to be cowardly, like Job, mouth full of dirt from having his face down in the soil as he prayed to God who slaughtered his children like goats. He knows now there was only one person to answer to, one person to fight for, to bleed for, and that was himself.

God took you away from him. Wanted you for himself and snatched you away from Matt’s loving arms into his own selfish claws. Matt would either be incredibly forgiving, or incredibly pathetic, to continue being his perfect soldier.

He visits the park bench the two of you used to sit at, whenever he can muster enough strength to walk up the stairs out of the church. He sits, reminiscing over first meetings, first dates, all the firsts that are now painfully tinted with lasts — the last time he saw you, the last time the two of you went on a proper date in between the chaos that was your lives. He sits, listening to the overwhelming sensory experience that is New York’s liveliness, a constant cacophony of footsteps and sires and chatter, yet he tunes it out. Useless sounds, white noise. He tunes it down, dials it so low it hums at the back of his head, a faint murmur close to silence. Father Lantom told him that God speaks in whispers, yet he’s never met with anything but silence, deafening, overwhelming silence. He has never heard anything from God. He never has, and he doubts he ever will.

tags: @proudchocolateaddict / @myfriendmagislit / @fire--pheonix / @sheridans-dynamos / @beautifulbows924 / @writinqss / @woah-imagines / @steve-rogersirl / @musicallisto / @gofandomsandotherstuff / @melannchoholic / @mockingjaygirl1221 / @emmacata / @hauntedpocdreamer / @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt / @5aftermidnight / @thedamagedcne / @melody-of-scream / @diansaprince / @real-fbi / @natalia-helena-alianova-romanov / @locke-writes ↳ want to be added to the tag list?

#marvel imagine #the defenders imagine #daredevil imagine #matt murdock imagine #marvel one shot #the defenders #the defenders one shot #daredevil #daredevil one shot #matt murdock #matt mudock one shot #reader x matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #imagine #imagines #reader insert #one shot #oneshot #💜

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whump-with-wren · 5 years ago

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For the BTHB woukd you consider Reluctant Caretaker with Matt Murdock and Danny Rand? Could Danny be the one who needs to be taken care of? I found some other stories of yours with those two and it got me hooked.

Bingo Prompt: Reluctant Caretaker

Fandom: Defenders, Daredevil, Iron Fist

Characters: Matt Murdock, Danny Rand

Word count: 1,500

A/N: Hey, glad you enjoyed my other stuff! And thanks for the prompt, this was loads of fun. Also uuh... I have no idea where this is set in the Defenders-verse. Like, early Iron Fist season 2 and Daredevil season 3? Don’t know if that lines up in canon, but whatever, it was fun. (also I’m only about halfway through DD s3, no spoilers please!)

_____

He was bleeding, bruised and beginning to get worried when someone dropped from the buildings to join the fray. Matt wasn’t sure where the newcomer had come from, distracted as he was by the gang of criminals putting up more of a fight than he had expected. The newcomer had bounded down from the rooftops, entering the fight with a swift kick to the head of one of Matt’s opponents - downing him instantly.

Matt recognised him immediately, inwardly cursing. Danny Rand. Grateful as he was for the assist, he would have preferred it had been anyone but Rand. The kid was probably the member of the small group of heroes he had found it most difficult to get on with, and beyond that, he didn’t want anyone to know he was alive.

He didn’t let his annoyance show, glad for the darkness of the night and his crude mask, nodding in Rand’s direction. The kid glanced in his direction, giving Matt a look that he assumed was a quick grin. Somehow, that didn’t make his mood any better.

With the extra help, it didn’t take long to regain the upper hand. Despite himself, Matt found himself enjoying fighting alongside someone as competent as he was. He quickly reminded himself he couldn’t get used to this. He was striking out alone now, if anyone else got involved they would only get hurt.

It wasn’t long until the group of men were either out for the count on the ground or had vanished into the night. Rand was slightly out of breath, his adrenalin-fueled heart thumping quickly. But Matt noticed that he seemed more settled - calmer - than when they had last met.

“Thanks for the help,” he said, as though he hadn’t been the one who had leapt into the fight to help Matt. Matt stared in his direction. “I’ve been keeping an eye on them for a while - I’m pretty sure they’re part of a drug run between China Town and Hell’s Kitchen.

Matt nodded, not really wanting to talk in case he was recognised. The kid didn’t seem to care, continuing talking. He liked to talk, Matt noted.

“Honestly I’m surprised they came this far - I thought it was just a China Town thing.” He seemed to consider for a moment, then muttered under his breath in a voice he probably didn’t know Matt could hear, “Wonder how far they spread. Maybe Luke knows something.”

He was about to leave when he heard a sound - a second before Rand, a second too late to do anything. He darted forward, a warning on his lips, but he was too slow - the gun exploded with sound and Rand went down.

Matt leapt over his motionless body, dodging another bullet and slamming a fist into the shooter’s face. Finishing him with a spinning kick, he listened closely for anyone else. The only sound he could hear was Rand’s breathing.

Satisfied Rand would live, he was halfway up the building before he paused. He could still make out Rand’s heartbeat, distant, but loud enough to be worrying. It was stuttering, uneven - blood escaping through the bullet wound.

He hesitated for a long moment, considering what he should do. If he went back, there was a higher chance of being recognised. And knowing Rand, the kid wouldn’t let him just vanish back into obscurity again, he would likely be revealed to the rest of their wannabe Avengers group.

The sirens growing closer decided him - Danny was a vigilante as well, sirens were never a good sign for vigilantes. So, with a curse, Matt dropped back to the road.

Getting Rand a few rooftops away to safety was harder than he had expected - that kid was heavier than he had thought. Eventually, he lowered Rand to the roof of a building a few blocks away from the scene.

Again, Matt felt the urge to vanish into the night. He shouldn’t be here - the longer he stayed the more likely it was that Rand would wake up and recognise him. But he was still bleeding, and Matt could tell he needed help.

This would be the point where he would dump the kid outside Claire’s window and vanish again, confident Rand would survive and no one would know he was still alive. Unfortunately, he didn’t know where she was.

He swore under his breath again, rolling Danny over to get an idea of what the wound was like. It didn’t seem bad - a bandage should suffice. He was rather surprised a single bullet had downed Danny, though Matt suspected he had been running on fumes for a while.

He unwound one of the bandages wrapped around his hand - it was slightly bloody, but that wouldn’t matter - and used it to staunch the blood Rand was losing. He was just finishing it when the younger man shifted, opening his eyes with a groan.

Matt sat back, closely monitoring Danny’s condition as he struggled to a sitting position, hiding his frustration. He shouldn’t be here.

Rand pressed a hand to his side, looking down at the bandage as he crossed his legs in front of him. He noticed Matt with a slight increase in his heartbeat, his breath catching for a second. The heartbeat settled a moment later, but Danny was still wary.

“What happened?” he asked, his head moving in a way that suggested he was looking around. Matt shrugged, his voice low as he answered, hoping Rand wouldn’t recognise him.

“One of ‘em doubled back. Didn’t see him.”

Rand nodded, slowly struggling to his feet. Matt stood as well, hearing the way his breath came quickly, smelling the blood, sweat and adrenalin on him.

“Take the night off,” he said as Rand swayed slightly. Matt could tell he was exhausted - could tell he had been out all night and most of the night before, and probably many other nights before that.

“No, I’m - I’m fine,” he muttered. “Gotta keep going.”

Matt cocked his head to one side, sensing the quaver in his voice. Sirens rang in the distance and he resisted the growing urge to chase after them.

Rand took a step away, stumbled, and Matt darted forward to catch him before he faceplanted into the roof.

“Easy,” he said quietly. Danny groaned, letting out a long breath as Matt stepped back, making sure he stayed upright this time.

“I’m okay,” he muttered, “Just reorientating myself.”

Matt wasn’t convinced, but the kid didn’t seem to have any trouble walking to the edge of the building. He listened, hearing the footsteps and heartbeat of the other man, analysing him for any lasting problems. Satisfied he should survive the trip home, he stepped back, moving towards the other side of the building, following the sirens.

“Go home,” he said softly as he moved.

“Wait,” Rand said, causing Matt to pause. He didn’t turn, hearing Rand face him, step towards him. “Do I know you?”

A barrage of curses flashed through Matt’s mind at the question. This was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. This was why he had wanted to leave in the first place. People couldn’t know he was alive - people couldn’t know Matt Murdock was still around.

“No,” he said stiffly, starting to move again. Danny was disappointed.

“Oh. You just… I guess you remind me of a friend. But he’s…” the kid trailed off, but Matt heard the unfinished ending. “He’s gone. He’s dead. He’s not here anymore.”

“Good,” he thought firmly. He shrugged in response to Danny.

“Sorry to disappointed,” he said sharply, then leapt off the building.

Despite himself, he didn’t go far, only a few buildings away, where he ducked behind the door leading downstairs. There, he listened.

Rand was looking in the direction he had left. Finally, he turned to leave, one hand pressed over his wound, vanishing into the night - in the direction of China Town.

Matt felt a strange urge to go after him. It reminded him of the urge to reveal himself to Karen and Foggy, to tell the world he hadn’t died. It reminded him of smiles and laughter and happiness. Friends.

“Danny called me a friend,” he suddenly realised. He had barely known the kid for a few days, had fought him, betrayed his trust, tied him up. But he had called Matt a friend.

“Hindsight,” Matt told himself. “He’s making our relationship seem more than it was because I’m not around to correct him.”

Satisfied with that answer, he pulled himself away to find the next crime.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about Rand, couldn’t stop thinking about the others in that group. Jessica, Luke. Of Karen and Foggy, grieving for him.

What would life be like if he had allowed himself to be loved?

“It’s too late for that now,” he told himself. That part of him had died in the rubble of Midland Circle. He was the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. That was all he needed to be.

The Devil didn’t have friends.

#whump #bad things happen bingo #defenders #matt murdock #danny rand #iron fist #daredevil #reluctant caretaker #gun shot wound #my writing #I need to figure out my tagging system!#Anon

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yinnezha · 6 years ago

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Hi! I wanna start this by saying that I don't really have an opinion on the karedevil relationship, as in I'm fine with it going canon or not as long as it's well written. So this is a genuine question: where do you see the writing that hints towards them having an actual relationship? Because to me personally it always seems like Karen is super into Matt, while he comes across as not that interested. Especially in S2, it felt more like he thought 'okay whatever, I guess we can go out.'

I also kinda feel like Karen deserves better? I love Matt dearly, but I mean, he basically dropped Karen the instant Elektra was back and acted like a douche, then decided to die with Elektra in Defenders, and then in S3 he seemed totally bitter he had to save her instead of going after Fisk. Maybe I’m just not seeing the writing you’re seeing, but that could totally be me since I’m not invested in any ship on the show. (2)

hey, I wanna start by apologizing for how long this answer is. I will address the points you raised and keep it as objective as I can, talking about the writing of the show and my understanding of it. All bias towards or against particular ships will be kept to myself.

“where do you see the writing that hints towards them having an actual relationship?”

The writing of the first season is filled with hints and foreshadowings, and while Matt and Karen spend the first season without a romantic involvement, it is underlined that they will. But is under lines, it is subtle, less in your face than Matt’s involvement with Claire (and for a reason but I’ll get to that). It is lines like Karen explaining how she promised to her grandmother to only serve her recipe to her future husband and then proceeds to serve it to Matt first, then Foggy. It is lines like Matt telling Foggy back in college that he’s looking for someone that he really likes listening to and a couple of episodes before that, he mention to Karen very matter of factly that he likes listening to her voice. It is lines like Karen’s acceptance of and trust in the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. If you rewatch the first season looking for signs like these, you’ll find them (there are more).

“to me personally it always seems like Karen is super into Matt, while he comes across as not that interested”

Of course Karen’s interest in Matt was obvious from the start; she admires his idealism, his will to fight for justice, how he’s a person who wants to do good. But to understand why Matt wasn’t immediately interested in Karen we have to see things from his perspective. She’s a stranger, involved in some messy things, who is good but lies to him (for whatever reason that she has) and we cannot forget this, that Matt knows Karen lies to him. So with Matt’s “understanding” of people we can assume he is wary of having a relationship. See, Matt’s relationship with Claire was surface and it was meant to be that way. It happened fast, it developed fast and it ended fast. Because Claire was not the one who would accept him and understand him. And so in parallel with that, because Claire cannot accept Matt’s fighting crime, we have Karen’s undying support for the Man in the mask. You see what I mean? But back to Matt’s “disinterest” in Karen… He knows she is a good person, but that’s as far as it goes. They needed time to adjust, to get to know each other beyond the circunstances of their meeting. They needed to build a foundation, and that was happening slowly throughout the first season. The strangers become friends. Enters the second season where some time has passed and they are more confortable with the idea of exploring their mutual interest.

“it felt more like he thought ‘okay whatever, I guess we can go out’.”

Again, let’s take into consideration that they work together, they see each other all the time, they go out together. In the first episode we see a shift in Matt in which he is more playful with her, more lingering looks… Foggy says “I leave you two alone for one minute” which kind of implies that this is a common ocurrence now, that Matt and Karen are on the flirting banter for a while. And then later on the episode in which Matt kiss Karen for the first time, Foggy says “careful Matt keep going like this you might just end up happy and for a catholic boy that’s a pretty dangerous thing” interesting that he could’ve just teased Matt about being happy but he mentioned Matt’s religion as a subtle reminder to the audience of Matt’s inner struggles, how he beats himself up over what he deserves. You see when is something serious, meaningful is harder for him, his beliefs, his doubts gets on the way. Matt probably wanted to be with Karen for a while but didn’t know how, didn’t know if he deserves her (because of how he sees her, because in reality we the audience knows that she would understand and accept him). So you see, I disagree with your point on Matt “settling” for going out with Karen.

“I also kinda feel like Karen deserves better? I love Matt dearly, but I mean, he basically dropped Karen the instant Elektra was back and acted like a douche, then decided to die with Elektra in Defenders”

Remember my point on Claire not accepting Matt’s Daredevil identity? Well, Elektra is the opposite. She accepts Daredevil, but she does not accept Matt. See? This is good writing! We have different ends of the issue of Matt’s double life in both seasons. And both relationships were wrong for him because something was missing, and in both seasons we have Karen being underlined again as the one that would accept him as a whole. This is very important and it is in the storytelling. There is a reason why Elektra’s relationship with Matt was a parallel to Karen’s in episode 5, it was to show to the audience which relationship is the right one. A lot of people has issues with how Matt handled things but we’re here to talk about the writing and the second season was about Matt’s struggle with his double life and what he really wants. He spends the whole season losing control of his life, and it reflects on his choices.

Now on Karen deserving better, don’t you think Matt deserves better as well? Elektra was a toxic relationship that destroyed Matt’s life as he knew and drove away the two people that matters the most to him. And I’m not erasing Matt’s responsibility here, but no matter how we feel about his actions Matt is the hero of this story, it’s his show and so the writing is telling us to root for what is right for him and that is not Elektra. And he does deserve better. Matt is a complicated man, a tortured man (I mean he is a devoted catholic for crying out loud) he is messy so of course things won’t be easy for him. And that is what makes him interesting. And he did not just fucked up his relationship with Karen but with Foggy as well to whom he was also a bit of a douche. So it’s not about the romance here, but more about Matt’s choices and development and what he needs to fix it. And he does in the third season, he is heading in that direction.

In Defenders Matt was holding onto Matt Murdock and then in season 3 he was holding onto Daredevil. Matt never had a season in which he was not struggling with this. And part of the reason why his relationships don’t work is because of that. But now at the end of the third season we will finally see Matt being fully himself and the people that matter the most to him accepting and understanding because that’s the natural progression of the writing. We had to go through all of this, we needed him to reach this point. And not only Matt but Karen needed some development too. And the third season stripped them of their lies and made them face the truth and when that happened we had one of the best scenes of the season (a little biased sorry) and that is the start of a new chapter for them.

Both Karen and Matt deserve better and the better is themselves, a better version of themselves. Honesty and truth and trust. And that’s what we have been watching since the first season, that’s the story. That’s what the writers are telling us. They are the right, just not right now. They need to learn, they need to deserve, they need to reach that point where they’ll have the understanding and trust that we know they can have, and we know because it’s underlined, it’s being shown to us since the start. It’s a slow burn, beautiful and difficult and complicated and messy… just like Matt’s life. Just like Karen’s life. Just like all the good love stories are.

Many people has issues with Matt and Karen’s relationship, but from the writing and storytelling perspective is great. And is the direction the show will keep taking. They have been developing this romance since the very first episode of the show. Charlie Cox absolutely loves and understand the relationship because he knows Matt Murdock better than anyone, and he is right. Karen is Matt’s soulmate. It’s more deep and slow. And now to finish, something he said that sums up everything I said in a less annoying way:

What we never tried to do, and I think I’m speaking for the writers of the series as well, was to make the beautiful story with Karen – Deborah Ann Woll - look like a rebound relationship. Ultimately it’s a much deeper bond, which lasts fifty years and ironically is more important exactly because it doesn’t draw from roof-jumping, but from everyday life. I think if Karen and Matt could find a way to match their respective darknesses, they would find an excellent balance.

#anonymous #ask #karedevil

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icedrifter · 6 years ago

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Daredevil Season 3

[Personal opinions on the season and Matt Murdock / Daredevil in particular, and spoilers ahead - read at your own risk]

So, I just finished a marathon of the new episodes of Daredevil S3, and I have to say, I think I’ll restart watching it as soon as I finish typing here, because this season was addicting to say the least and I extraordinarily loved it.

The trailer promised a good run, but what we got was even better than anticipated. Fast, full of adrenaline, never boring - S3 is a masterpiece, provbably the best Marvel-Netflix installation so far. Realistic yet adehering to the comics, full of old characters that keep shining in always new light, S3 is probably the best expression of the show so far, and of Matt Murdock’s character in particular.

First of all, it felt like finally coming home, again. While S1 was, in my humble opinion, a little masterpiece that I found myself watching and re-watching from time to time, S2 was disappointing and I found it to be lacking in more than one aspect. Obviously it depends quite a lot on personal taste, of course, but I found S2 to be very far from the style I’d loved and enjoyed so much during S1, and that sort-of love triangle between Matt, Karen and Frank, well, left me a little puzzled and absolutely unsatisfied. As I said, it’s just personal taste, but I much preferred S1 (and now, S3 too) with its lack of unnecessary romance and love stories that simply obstacle the main plotline, in some cases (such as S2, as said).

Therefore, yes, S3 felt like coming back to the origins, and in some way, one could argue that it’s what this season was actually for: a re-birth of Daredevil, and of Matt Murdock as well. A way to start over, for both the man and the hero. They have to learn to start fresh, they need to recover - physically and mentally. Their body is broken, injured, frail, while their emotions are confusing, all over the place, almost an obstacle interposing itself between them and their final goal. Maybe it’s for this reason that they try to shut them - and their loved ones as well - out, becoming bitter, ironic, and darker. They need time to grieve, to find themselves again, to get back in shape.

I greatly appreciated the way the show actually gave the man and the hero the time they needed to come back to themselves, showing that the road towards recovery isn’t an easy nor linear one, it’s long and can’t just be wrapped up in one episode. No, the effects of the previous seasons - the evolution from a blind lawyer into a superhero, the broken relationship with Karen and Foggy, the loss of a loved one and of a mentor, as well as the physical wounds - are all there, making Matt more vulnerable and enraged than ever, ready to change, to finally allow himself to live as he wishes and not as if he feels society pretends him to do. To finally see that there’s no Matt Murdock without Daredevil: the hero’s not an appendage that ca be separated from the man; the hero is the man.

Matt needs the whole season, thirteen full episodes, to finally make peace with himself and find a new balance, but when he does - God, it’s spectacular! Iconic, even.

We get to see a broken man who trains to get back in shape only to immediately run into danger again, even if he’s not ready, even if he’s not at the top of his forms. And he knows it. And he still does it. There’s a sort of desperation that screams of pain and agony more than words could ever do. Kudos to Charlie Cox for such great acting, and to the writers for detailing the character so perfectly. It’s a masterpiece.

Another thing I loved - and yet another back to the origins thing, I must add - is seeing Matt going out to fight crime once again wearing his black outfit, the same one he used in S1. It’s composed of a simple pair of trousers and a long-sleeved shirt, combat boots and a ripped cloth covering his face. It’s much, much different from the red costume made of kevlar and other materials which not only protected him, but strengthened him as well, making him more powerful, dramatic and a bit theatrical. Now, there’s no more Daredevil costume, because Matt doesn’t need one anymore: there’s no more Matt Murdock, person, attorney at law, blind man, and there’s no more Daredevil, a symbol, a hero, a protector. There’s no more need to envelope Matt’s body in a costume that transforms him into the hero; there’s no more need for Daredevil’s signature feature to make him recognizable. They’re finally one, Matt and Daredevil. It’s all there in their eyes, that fury, that fire; it’s clear as the day and impossible not to see. You can’t separate one from the other, you can’t ask the man to abandon the role of the hero. They’re the same. Now Matt really is Daredevil.

Instead of a reinforced suit, in S3 we see Matt / Daredevil in all his physical vulnerability being more than once overpowered by his opponents, we see many times during the show the effects the fights have on his body. The wounds, bleeding and painful, aren’t hidden anymore, not from the viewers’ eyes nor from the other show’s characters’ ones. They’re there to see, a memento of the cost that this life pretends from the person choosing to live it.

I think I could go on and on detailing every other aspect of this new season that I appreciated, from the soundtrack - pure genius, perfectly themed, dramatic and empowering at the same time - to the makeshift boxing gloves - not only devastatingly robust and with terrific effects when used, but also beautiful to look at as well, with that entertwinement of ropes - to the last appearance of Daredevil in the thirteenth episode - on a roof, in a gargoyle-like pose, seeing everything there’s to see as Fisk is finally arrested once again - to end with the fight and the reluctant agreement our hero makes with the Kingpin - compromising surprisingly, deciding to once again have faith both in the legal system and in a man whp has proved himself to be a monster of inhuman, cold-blooded cruelty.

For now though, I believe I’ve said more than enough in a confused and decidedly opinionated, personal and not-objective analysis that is just a way for me to vent about a show I’ve loved ever since the beginning, as well as an excuse to not let go from the high it gave me once again. Not yet, at least. In fact, I think I’ll just go and start from E1 of S3 once again, only to prolong the dream a bit more, and to enjoy the story once again. After all, everything considered, it’s the details that always leave me the most satisfied, and it’s those same details that I don’t get to fully appreciate when I’m too hooked up with the unfolding of the story. Now that I know it, I can focus much better, and I get to fully enjoy the show.

Is there anything better than that?

#spoilers #spoilers alert #daredevil #s3

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