#i just finally binged this and cried SO much like what the fuck

[taeminie]

To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories 2022, dir. Hwang Da Seul

[crookedteethed]

⋆ ★ Rafe says “he's done” with mistress reader

18+ smut(pinv), oral (male receiving), cursing, infidelity, toxic relationship, "su*cide attempt", mentions of daddy issues, reader is delusional asf in this one , no happy ending, age gap between Rafe and reader

It had been bad this time; it had been fatal. 

Rafe had said it was over; this time, he meant it. 

He said things were going well with his wife, and he didn't want you to ruin it this time. These were his exact words.

He was too old now to be chasing young girls' pussy around like he was still in his twenties. His exact words. 

He was too old, and you were just young girl pussy. 

In your final moments with him, you asked him if his wife knew how to stuff him whole inside of her mouth without gagging like you do. 

He said that wasn't the point. On their wedding day, he made a vow to his wife whether she knew how to stuff him whole or not.

"Dilation of the throat." You said. "That's when your throat slowly starts to close; you can hardly get any food down your esophagus, let alone air. It happens as you get older. Rafe, I hate to tell you, but your wife is dying."

Rafe had called you childish,He kissed your tear-soaked eyelid, then left your studio apartment--in which he helped you pay for.

Then that was it.

He was gone as quick as it all happened.

The first week without Rafe hadn't been that bad.

You cried some, binged watched cable TV, and then sat numbly on your sofa, wishing Rafe was there to coddle you like the father figure you always saw him as.  

His warm embrace taut around your body, he'd peck his lips around the supple skin of your face, telling you that everything was going to be ok, and then he'd fuck you, make you forget about whatever you were sad about, and then go back home and sleep in the same bed as his wife, while you were all alone. 

During the second week, you started to feel the emptiness even more acutely, and your stomach and gut became more hollow. 

To cope, you slept with a couple of old flings, guys, and girls that quite naturally never made it past the talking stages because they weren't Rafe. 

In the third week, you realized that Rafe had not blocked your number, so you called him. 

He picked up within the third ring. 

"What." he said sternly. 

"I'm just checking in on your wife, how's her dilated throat? Does her blow jobs feel tighter than usual? If so, her throat will be completely closing soon, meaning she won't have space to breathe. Rafe, your wife doesn't have much time to live ---"

He hung up. 

You called again. 

"I've missed you." You were the first to say. "Come over so we can talk--bring your wife too, maybe we can work this out, just the three of us--"

He hung up again.

Then, because you were drunk, you sent him a picture of your clit with the text message, "She misses you too :(." 

In the fourth week, you figured that there was only one thing you had to do, and that was to kill yourself. 

Of course, you weren't going to commit suicide, but Rafe didn't have to know that. 

On that Saturday afternoon, you knew Rafe would be off of work somewhere laughing with his wart of a wife and his friends and their warts of wives. 

That must have been the reason he didn't answer when you called him, so you sent him a voice message. 

"To whom it may concern, I've decided I no longer want to live. To the left of me, I have a prescribed bottle of Vicodin, of which I plan to take all 27 capsules, and to my right, I have my note. In my note, I have given my lawyers specific instructions to out you and I's rendezvous to your wife. I have a USB with all our text messages and sex tapes on it; I've planned for them to give to her when I die. If you don't want this secret to get out, I'd advise you to be at my apartment complex in one hour fucking my brains out. See you in one hour; tell your wife I said hi."

And then you waited. 

You jumped when you heard Rafe bang on your door three times, and then he'd remember he had a key, then he barged in your apartment, his head swinging from left to right.

He saw you sitting on your sofa with your matching lingerie set on, a bottle of vodka in your hand.

"You do care." You smiled, standing up to give him a hug, he shrugged you off.

"Where is it?" He asked. "Where's that USB?"

"There is no USB." You said.

Rafe had looked down at your coffee table to where your supposeit Vicodin had been.

"That's fucking baby aspirin." He scoffed, as he slowly start to undo his belt buckle. "This is what you were going to kill yourself with?"

You nodded shyly as he grabbed you by your hair and forced you to your knees.

A blowjob was the last thing you wanted from him, but you'd take anything.

Looking down at you, Rafe said, "Maybe next time I'll lend you my old man's revolver, that'll do the trick, right?" right before he grabbed the back of your head, and forced his cock--all nine inches of it--down your throat.

You'd hadn't gagged, though you wished you had, so he could have slowed down his relentless thrust into your mouth.

With every thrust, your body responded, craving more, yet yearning for a pause—an unexpected reprieve.

You could hardly catch your breath as he maintained his relentless pace, a rhythm that sent waves of sensation coursing through you.

You wanted to surrender, yet a part of you fought against the tide, desperate for control in a moment that demanded nothing less than your complete submission.

Rafe eyes never seemed to leave yours with his cock stuffed in your mouth. He loved the humiliation of blowjobs. You just stared at him, teary wide eyes.

Rafe's face was so handsome. His eyes were so beautiful. So full of life. A face that could be so easily broken. Your mouth. So full of his cock.

Fuck, have you missed this.

You could see the desire in his eyes, the hunger for more. His gaze was intense, burning into you, and it excited you to know your power--how quick he came to your rescue.

You felt his hands on the back of your head, not forcing, but guiding, encouraging you to take him deeper. His breath quickened, and you knew he was getting closer with he twitch of his cock. With a soft moan, he pulled you up, his eyes still locked on yours.

He wanted to watch your reaction as he took control, as he showed you who was in charge.

He pushed you against the wall, his mouth finding yours, and you tasted yourself on his lips. It was degrading, and you loved it. He knew it too, and a smirk played on his lips.

"You like being used, don't you?" he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "Being on your knees, taking me however I want. It arouses you."

You couldn't deny it, the wetness of your cunt dripping down your thighs.

"Yes," you whispered, your voice a mere breath. "I do." And with that admission, he took you again, this time with you on the edge of the sofa with both your legs pressed to your sides.

You let out a soft moan as Rafe entered you, his cock sliding deep with one slow, deliberate thrust.

That familiar stretch and burn always made you gasp—a sensation you loved and craved. Rafe's hands gripped your hips, his touch firm as he held you in place, his eyes never leaving yours.

You loved how he watched you, taking in your every reaction as if it were the first time all over again--almost as if he was all yours and no one else's to share. 

His thick cock filled you, and you could feel every vein and ridge of him as he slowly began to move. That delicious friction built as he withdrew and then thrust again, setting a slow, sensual rhythm.

The room was filled with the sounds of your passion—your soft moans and the slick, wet sounds of your bodies moving as one.

Rafe's breath quickened as he began to move faster, his hips snapping as he drove into you with purpose. You met his passion with your own, your bodies a tangle of limbs and sweat.

His hands explored your body, caressing your breasts, neck, and face, his touch both possessive and adoring.

As your pleasure built, you knew you would climax soon, and you wanted Rafe to join you in that exquisite release.

You whispered for him to let go, and with a few more powerful thrusts, he obeyed. His body stiffened as he filled you with his release, his cock pulsing as he found his own bliss.

Rafe laid your limp body outstretched onto your sofa, and through hooded--fucked out--eyelids, you watched as he put back on his clothing. 

"I think I love you." you croaked. 

Rafe ironed out his slacks and proceeded to put his foot in one pant leg, all the while saying: 

"I love my wife." He said sternly. 

Defeated, you laid your head back and closed your eyes. 

"This was the last time, Y/N." He said. You could hear him put on his last article of clothing and straighten himself out. 

"You always say that." you sighed. 

"Well, I'm serious this time." 

"You always say that part too." You said.

And with that being said, he placed his lips on your forehead, took your bottle of baby aspirin, and left your apartment for the second "last time" that month. 

Rafe went back home, made love to his wife, and then told her he loved her, but he knew he didn't really mean it. 

[billkaulitzwife]

The Outsiders Nowadays (in 2024).

Ponyboy (born 2010)

on playstation 24/7

“FIVE MORE MINUTES, DARREL.”

his username is smth stupid like ‘smokersleftlung’ or ‘mylittlep0ny’

“wya?” when ur at his door

vapes.

SORRY.

noah kahan lover

jeans, steel toe boots, camo shirt, neon orange jacket.

would try to get his friends to read

but gets called a dork :)

“Something in the Orange” on full blast while thinking of Cherry

posts horrendous .5s of himself on snap

typa guy to hold a fish on his instagram

favourite show is probably yellowstone

Johnny (born 2008)

loves open boxing the gang !

sad he has an xbox and not ps like the boys

HATES fortnite.

unironically says skibidi gyat

“hey dal, look at that furry over there.”

its just some kid.

foster care.

dallas would add him on snap and getting annoyed when he said “wyll”

has a stupid bow by his name

“johnny🎀”

like bro you are not coquette.

cries to wlw poetry.

snap user: “ooh_achurch” insta: “cadecade55”

used :3 once and never did it again.

watched friends and says “hes so me” whenever he sees ross.

Dallas (born 2007)

“wyll”

typa guy to yell GYATTT in public

barks at emos and furries

vapes in the school bathroom

racist.

would call you a slur for looking at him for more than a second.

mullet + perm combo

jumped a 7 year old and got on the news

male manipulator core

owns a husky named after himself

knife enthusiast.

screams at his dad for ten more minutes on the playstation

“do u send?”

no i do not thank you very much.

suicide boys. lil peep.

thinks he’s dean from supernatural

same username everywhere: “imnottexan”

fav show: big mouth

Adelaide (born 2010)

regina george but on a mental level

gatekeeper.

arsonist !

had a friend group with “bug” “kai” “arson” and “alex” in 2021 and nearly khs.

almost thought she was bi.

fought a girl in the locker room at school

takis, cookie monster pajama pants, latina makeup

SABRINA AND CHAPPELL LOVER, used to be a swiftie

sturniolo triplet fan (owns all of space camp)

buys clothes from shein

usernames: “addiethebaddie” “adelaidecurtis”

fav show wld be shameless

BEDROTTING.

grew up on spongebob and bubble guppies

writes poetry in her notes app

Darry (born 2004)

“live laugh love” sign somewhere in the house

“Doesn’t know how to text normally .”

(jkjk)

“PHONE ON THE TABLE WHEN YOU GET HOME.”

has a pinterest board full of pumpkins and dogs

invested in the kardashians

the therapist friend

facetimes the gang when he’s on lunch break

doesnt understand what skibidi is

ONLINE COLLEGE!!!

blasts dad rock when he drops off the twins at school

duct taped two-bit to the top of his car during freshman kill week

did the same to steve

class of ‘22

lowk eats up lana del rey

hates twitter and instagram

username: “darrel_curtis”

believes in angel numbers (me too king)

has a picture of him holding a fish on his instagram to ‘attract the females’

Sodapop (born 2008)

boycott

belittle

boyboss

owned wizz for less than a day

trolled little kids on roblox with steve

saw too many… things on omegle.

scrolls on tiktok for hours.

usernames: “thispxssytasteslikepepsi” “sodap0p08”

binges twilight in hiding

also barks at emos and furries

laughs at any kinda fart joke

showed pony a picture of a horse and said “found u online”

they fought.

threatened to break the tv when he couldn’t play slime rancher for three hours

turns his life360 off when he goes out with sandy or to a car show

Two-Bit (born 2006)

broke four controllers when he played seige

trolls on fortnite

finally fucking finished high school (class of ‘24)

ice cream scoop hair

binges bojack horseman

bo burnham’s biggest fan

made a huge deal when the queen died

refused to wear a mask during quarantine because ‘ITS FOR SISSIES’

preaches the second amendment “MERICAAA”

username: “twobit”

sends random memes in the gc when the others are fighting

hates xbox users

complains about adelaide using shein

“tummy hurty” posts on his insta story

would slap the shit out of you if you said seige was just a game

Steve (born 2007)

trolls on dti

eats goldfish like his life depends on it

username: “handletherandle”

also preaches the second amendment

and the first

and the fifth

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICA—

went on a school trip to dc and hated everything he had to eat

doordashes when he has enough

hypocrite

wld call you a slur for a GOOD reason

avid minecraft player

and overwatch.

mountain dew addict

reposts politics and cars on twitter

hates minion memes

“wyll”

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ saturday 4 jan 2025

༄.°

little update on my stretched ears ! dont ask me the size cause i do not know use your eyes LOL.. anyways yesterday i fell asleep at 8 then woke up again around fuck if i know

anyways when i got up i pretty much instantly went on my treadmill and got to walking.. i walked for 80 mins i think.. something like that, untill 13:45 cause i had to get ready for my joooooobbbb

did the most fuckass makeup and i stuffed my lunchbox full of the burek from the day before and 3 chocoballs.. was not planning to eat that burek tho

i got to work and i felt fine, haku gave me an energy drink the day before it was great. i called my friend mark and asked him if he ate at all, he said no, so i offered him to come eat the burek and he accepted !!! he ate 3/4 of it but he was stuffed after and didn’t need any more.. when he arrived he came with not 1, not 2 but 3 energy drinks !!! perfect

bullit sugar free full berry

we hung out for a bit and we decided we’d get high the day after and NOT while im in the clock plssss.. work was fine i don’t remember much i only remember my legs being so wobbly

monster energy ultra fiesta mango

this was good !!! it’s a good alternative to mango loco i liked it a lot hehehe.. and every energy drink tastes better for free ~

3 healthy alternative date-chocolate balls with coconut

this is all i had since i threw away marks leftovers. since the day before i was kind of careless, this was only protocol… it felt kind of good to be all shaky and my legs felt like they’d give out any second </3

monster energy ultra rosa

by the end of my shift i felt fatigued and i was shaking super bad so i grabbed another energy drink ! i made it to the end of my shift with little problems and walked home. when i got home i got tempted by food but didn’t have any..

i tried to go to sleep from 23:20-03:00 but literally couldn’t i was tossing and turning but i finally did get to sleep from 3 to 6:30 so that’s nice.. T_T

i already shared this one however i wanted to share it again cause i listened to it allllll day long !!!

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

streak : 4 days binge free !!!!!!

steps : 14.6 k

im happy with my results of today… but can i just vent and say no matter what i do… i can’t get back to 49 ???? like im perma stuck in 50.0 kg 50.3 kg like what … do you guys have any tips ? i know i eat quite a lot but im gonna try even harder to eat less ? or should i start counting calories again ? sighs i dont know.. hah…. cries

༄.°

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

How would Curtis handle a PMSing Honey who is just bursting into tears at the most random things?! 🥺😭

You would think you hit the jackpot with Curtis.

In the beginning you avoided hanging out with Curtis during that time. You didn't want him to see the mess of a woman you would become, the burst of tears, weird food binges and the way you were so physically sensitive.

Jake always made you feel needy during that time, like you were to much, to big and all in his space that you were so scared to do that to Curtis.

Of course all that changed once Curtis found out what you were dealing with now and had dealt with in the past.

Curtis has space for you in his home, all of you.

In his bathroom, both the upstairs master and the downstairs one, he insisted you put your supplies and if he happens to notice you were running low, he picks them up on his next store run without ever you having to ask. Nor does he mention it when he does, in his mind it's part of the least he could do for you while you're staying with him.

By your bedside and that seat you prefer in the living room area, he has heating pads tucked away, with plenty of access to any wall plug in you possibly need.

In the kitchen cupboards, your absolute favorite period snack, as well as stashes gift cards on the fridge to both of your favorite resturants in the area. You don't want to cook meals? Take out is an option.

Being touched was hard for you at first. It was something you had always craved, but the first time his oversized calloused hands slid under your shirt to rub at your back to help ease the pain, you tensed in his hold, hiding your face from him for a moment while everything in you told you to pull away.

"Do you want me to stop?" Curtis asked when he felt you stiffen, your head shaking in his chest while you hugged yourself in closer on his lap.

"No, yes... No. No." Your head lifted to look at him. "I don't know."

His hands stilled while your fingers started messing with his chain, trying to sort through what was happening with you. "You know I'm not going to do anything you dont want Honey." His hands felt so good, his touch always did. Their was no rushing through this with you, he wasn't disgusted by you.

And all that was so new to you.

"Please?" You finally asked.

Now you get to feel his affection in any way you crave.

Oh and to answer your question... he is incredible with how sensitive you are. When you bust into tears, he opens his arms to you and lets you cry till your cried out and then will talk about what had you so upset, no matter how silly you think it to be.

Sexual Content under the break. If period sex makes you uncomfortable, then please don't proceed.

Period sex with Curtis is incredibly sensual for you. You are always so sensitive whenever this time of the month comes and he is very aware of how responsive you are to him.

When he fucks you, it's slow and deep, feeling him stretch you with each push of his hips. His hands hold you, one arm braced by your head while his hand is cupping the side of your face, fingers tracing intimately against your features all while he is pressing kisses to you, taking away the moans and whimpers you are giving. Telling you that you are his good girl when he pulls away from your mouth, traveling down your neck and along your collarbone with nips and kisses that are meant to ease you.

When your thighs are quivering and you're squeezing his cock, pleas coming from you does he slow to grinding against you, encouraging you to be his good girl, to come for him, to let go.

It's his touch to your clit, the expert way he drags his fingertips against you, pressing just right with his encouragement, you crash into the most pleasured orgasms that have you crying out his name.

Clinging to Curtis like you will break if you let go, you drag him to you, refusing to let him pull away without finishing himself. Your body arches under him in offering and he can't pull away from you. Not when you both are so openly giving to one another in the moment.

Period sex with Curtis just leaves you feeling physically and emotionally fulfilled.

[aaaarsonist]

Okay, here goes nothing. Some spoilers ahead.

Today will be my first time rewatching "Rise of the titans".

Context of the first time I watched this movie: I binged Trollhunters and 3Bellow in a month while preparing a final exam, and Wizards was my reward the same day I took it. They were literally my emotional support during that awful month, and I'll always be thankful for them. Even 3B, although I didn't enjoy it as much as the others and seemed endless, it served to keep me company and distract me a little from the stress. So, when the movie was confirmed, I was super excited. I talked a lot with two of my friends who watched the series, and arranged with one of them to watch the movie together the night it came out with a Netflix party. It didn't end well.

As I said, Trollhunters was a very important emotional support. Not just because of that month, but because everytime I felt down, I watched my favorites episodes, the one that made me laugh, and the one that made me cry, "Hero with a thousand faces" and "Jimhunters". So what did I do when the movie ended?

I cried from the anger. I cried because they erased everything I loved, like all the things that helped me feel better were absolutely nothing. I cried because I had lost something that made me feel good, complete, and had been left with a hole in my chest. Yeah, I could still watch the series whenever I wanted, but then I'll remember "oh yeah, this is pointless, Jim's not the Trollhunter and will never be, and all of this will never happen" aaaaand I would cry again. It's like, why did I even watch Jim overcome his fears, his insecurities, form bonds, grow up, if none of this will ever happen? Just to have the knowledge that Jim remembers everything and will suffer from it? Yeah no, fuck you.

I know it sounds dramatic, but I've always felt strong emotions towards the things I formed a strong emotional bond with. I remember sending my friend voice messages crying my heart out and then falling asleep completely drained.

So, yeah, I don't feel a lot of good things about this movie. The wery few things I enjoyed from the movie (again, I'm talking about the first time I watched, we'll see if it changes) are:

The animation.

The only thing I can't argue with is that the animation is fucking amazing. The backgrounds, the fights, the magic. It looks fucking great.

Eli's design and Aja in queen mode

Ignoring everything that comes with it (the reunion with Steve, the stupid pregnancy thing) I'm a simp for them, they can step on me whenever they want. My feelings towards Aja may or may not change today though lol

The Jlaire moments

Not much to say here, I cried with everyone one of them and I love their relationship so much.

Aaaaand that's it. I don't remember any more good things. I wish I could listen to the voice messages I sent my friend but there's no sign of them.

[cottoncandysprite]

God ok. So I rewatched the season 3 finale right. This was my first rewatch since bingeing the entire show in 2 days with no breaks except sleep last spring so obviously this was my first REAL watch of it that wasn't over emotional and sleep deprived. And I still cried my eyes out.

That finale (and the third season as a whole) is such a perfect piece of television for so many reasons but I'm just gonna be rambling about some of my favorite details for a second so just hang tight

Guillermo interrupting himself at the beginning with "and I deserve it" is SO UNDERRATED I'm obsessed with him

Laszlo draws such a realistic line of putting up a front of apathy even though we as the audience know how close he and Colin got that season. Like obviously he's mourning but it's not cartoonishly obvious that he's lying like we would see from Nadja. He's just unusually quiet.

Colin's pictures being torn out jumpscared me. Not a fun thing to forget about when you aren't emotionally prepared

I miss the Nadja doll. Where was she in season 4 fr

It cuts to Guillermo when Nandor talks about being reminded of how eternal life can be snuffed out in an instant. Camera guys ily

"You're running away from your feelings!" vs. "You're one of the things I need to get away from!" I never forgot about this moment I just can't believe it exists

Do y'all think Viago is gonna be confused when Guillermo shows up as a guest judge on drag race this season

LASZLO HAD A FLING WITH WALT WHITMAN????????? WE ALL JUST FORGOT THAT EXISTED HUH

Guillermo's little grins as he ran around trying to manipulate the house into staying. I love this little shit

Laszlo's speech legit got me choked up. WITH NADJAS THEME IN THE BACKGROUND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Ok. Fuck. The fight scene. GOD.

¡¡¡PLANCHA!!!

Wouldn't say Guillermo cheated, fought dirty yes but cheating is a bit of a stretch Nandor. I thought you were a strategist

HOW COME NO ONE TALKS ABOUT GUILLERMO THROWING THE KNIFE BACK ANYMORE. WITH THE "AH AH AH!" THAT WAS COOL AS FUCK I LOVE HIM

"You're just scared of me right now" I mean, that and one other thing probably

I know it's been pointed out on here a million times but I wonder if Guillermo realized that Nandor wanted to share ancestral soil. He must have realized right

NANDOR'S SMILE AFTER GUILLERMO LEAVES IM GONNA BE SICK

"MY NANDO- MASTER" AND WHAT IF I SCREAMED

The hat. Maybe it was packed and that's why Guillermo had such bad luck (/hj)

THEIR PLAYFUL TEASING. UGH. NANDOR IS SOOO BABYGIRL IN THIS EP

Do y'all think NADJA will recognize Guillermo on drag race????????

Catch me literally sobbing at the train station. NANDOR LOOKS SO PATHETIC. YOU CAN SEE THE HEARTBREAK IN HIS EYES. WHILE GUILLERMO CALLS OUT TO HIM. THEYRE IDIOTS AND I HATE IT HERE

The lighting on the scene where Laszlo discovers Baby Colin had no right being that cool

That kinda just devolved into recounting the events of the episode through screaming but like. It stands. That episode. God.

[atomicbird101]

December 27th, 2270, 11:37 PM

Dad’s clinic

I don’t even remember what was being said. All I remember is the faint glow of the third day of Christmas coming to pass – a small tree on an end table in the corner by reception, holiday lights strung along the outside of the window, and Bing Crosby singing softly through Dad’s Pip-Boy for an added layer of ambience. I think it was Jonas that sent us all into that laughing fit before the clinic door whooshed open and I saw Butch DeLoria in a state that would forever change the way I saw him as he hoisted his unconscious mother into the room.

“DOC!” he cried. “It’s my ma! She had too much! She’s not saying anything, she ain’t moving, and I dunno what to do!”

It was the first time I had ever seen anything resembling terror on his face. His eyes were wide and wet, but not nearly big enough to hold the tears that poured down his cheeks, and his hands were too tightly gripping his mother’s wrists and keeping her arms around his shoulders to wipe them away. His whole body was shaking, both from the fear and the exhaustion of being just freshly thirteen and having to drag a grown woman all the way there from the lower levels.

“I’ve got her, son,” said Dad as he gently took her from his arms. “Jonas, we’ll probably need the stomach pump. Robbyn, I need you to sit outside with Butch. Can you do that for me, sweetie?”

I nodded. Not even so much as a “Got it” or a squeak. I couldn’t make a single sound. All I could do was gently grab his arm and pull him out of the room, after which he wrenched his arm away.

“Get the FUCK off me, Nosebleed!”

“I–I’m sorry–”

“Aww, I’m sowwy! You’re pathetic! I don’t need some bullshit pity from you! Get away from me!”

“But my dad said–”

“I don’t give a shit what your stupid fucking dad said! I don’t need you!”

His cruelty was a tough front, I knew it, and I was starting to wonder just how often he kept up that front. Did he always feel the need to look stronger so that nobody could see just how scared he was on the inside?

“Butch, I think you need someone.”

“Shut up.”

“Please, I know you must be scared.”

“Shut the hell UP.”

“Look, I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much, and right now, I don’t care. I just – I’m here for you, and I just wanna help.”

“SHUT UP!!!”

God, I can still hear his pubescent voice cracking in his screams of rage.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to have a mom who’d rather drink herself to death than be there for you on your fucking birthday?! No! No, you have no idea! You’ve just got your stupid, supportive dad who stepped up when your mom died – mine just gave up! Both my folks! I don’t have a damn daddy to save the day because I never even had a dad! God, I’d fucking kill for a dad like yours!”

After his wrath echoed off the steel walls of Vault 101, Butch and I sat in a silence so thick you could cut it with his broken switchblade before he saw me still standing beside him and finally asked the one question on his mind that he could never ask anyone.

“What’s wrong with me? Why don’t they want me?”

Butch broke down into a sobbing heap on the floor. What could I do? What was I supposed to do? The only thing I could think to do was to kneel down and place a shaking hand on his back, gently, so as to not frighten him or cause him to lash out at me again. It was a risk, but for once in my life, when I saw Butch DeLoria, I saw a scared kid just like me.

“I… I don’t know. It’s not fair.”

He continued to sob on the floor.

“It’s not fair,” I repeated, searching for the right words to say, because as cruel of a bastard he was to me, seeing him like this brought me no joy. This misery was heavy enough on my heart, I couldn’t handle the thought of even my greatest enemy bearing it tenfold on his own.

“Get outta here, Freckles. I don’t fucking need you.”

“Someone’s gotta be here for you. And, look, I know we’re not friends by any means, but let me be here for you, okay? I’m not leaving you like this. Just talk about your favorite Unstoppable, or that leather jacket you like, or your switchblade or something!”

“You know about my switchblade?”

“Dude,” I chuckled. “That was practically your recess show-and-tell for, like, a year. Until it got broken, anyway.”

Butch winced in embarrassment as he pulled it out of his pocket, although, when he pressed the button, he had to swing the blade out like a plastic “laser sword”.

“Yeah. It doesn’t do the flicky thing anymore. And it doesn’t stay open, either.”

He held the knife blade towards the ceiling, it sheathed back into itself as the blade fell, and in an instant, my father’s words from two and a half years ago whispered back to me:

“Do you know how hard it is to find a spring that small? Good thing Butch misplaced that switchblade of his! Ha!”

Now, it had just so happened that I found a spring in an old toolbox and had been saving it in case I ever needed to replace Toothpick’s in my bb gun, and I patted my pocket just to make sure it was still in there before I made a decision I wasn’t quite sure if I’d come to regret one day.

“Lemme see it.”

“What?”

“Give it, I just wanna see something,” I said, wedging the spring between my lips as I reached for my multi-tool that I got from Stanley two days prior and started unscrewing the casing on the switchblade. “Okay, don’t panic, I’m seeing if maybe I can fix the flicky-flicky.”

In truth, I had never seen the insides of an out-the-front switchblade before, nor any switchblade, for that matter, but fixing things was always like a jigsaw puzzle to me – this part goes here, that part goes there, and viola, you’ve got a single, cohesive unit. Besides, I always found the science behind it to be fascinating. (AN: Okay, maybe Butch is right. I really am a fucking nerd.) So, as I poked and prodded around the interior, I identified the dangling blade catches, the sliding mechanism, and the locking gates, and attached the spring to the catches before piecing everything together and screwing it shut loosely. When I pulled the switch down with my thumb, the blade shot out as designed, and Butch’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Happy birthday, I guess. Just don’t do anything stupid,” I chuckled as I screwed the plates shut tighter and handed it back to him with a smile. I always used to see so much anger in his eyes, but it had disappeared just for that moment, and it only made his kiss that much more surreal.

It was sudden, to say the least, and I think our teeth bumped against each other, but it was still my first kiss, and he held me so delicately, too. I never expected Butch, of all people, to hold me like one wrong move would shatter me, and it was thrilling to live out this scene in Beatrice’s old trashy romance novels, and much like in the stories, time seemed to stop at a standstill when he pulled away to look at me. He even gave me a kiss on the forehead.

“Yeah. Uh, thanks, Nosebleed.”

“Uh huh…”

About then, my dad stepped out to tell us that his mom was on the mend and would be discharged in the morning, and he instructed us to get each other home safe and sound. We walked home together, hand in hand, and hugs were exchanged when he stopped at my door, down the hall from his. 

However, the next day, Butch pretended that whatever happened between us had never happened. We still fistfought between classes, he stuck gum in my hair, and he made it a point to call me a loser every single day, so perhaps he thought it best that that night’s occurrences be forgotten and never discussed, and perhaps I was angry and spiteful enough to play along, but there was a sort of mutual respect that weighed on our confrontations, which, over the years nearly felt like a game we would play until the days we’d cross a line and convince ourselves we hated each other once more.

But we didn’t. For some reason, we couldn’t. We’d back off if we needed space, anyway, like a silent apology that has to stew for a day or two, and the cycle would repeat.

[itneverendshere]

omg I'm in love with your fic 'loved you at your worst' !!! like i am eating it up (which I'm sure you can tell by me binge reading/liking the chapters)

but seriously its just so well written, the characters are on point, reader/y/n actually feels so fleshed out, the angst made my stomach ache, I've giggled so many times, almost cried (almost is a lie, i did cry), gotten annoyed (in the best way possible), it's just everything i could ask for and more!

I'm almost done with the lastest chapter and its so nice to see reader at peace a little (finally my girl deserves a fucking break) and i just love associating songs with fics i read and in this chapter reader is so 'Castle by Ashe' coded

Anyway do with my yapping what you will, i just wanted to let you know how truly incredible and beautiful your writing is!! (I cant wait for more and to go and read your other work 🫶)

i’m so happy you’re loving lyayw—it makes my heart so happy to hear how much it’s resonating with you!! 🫶 the fact that you’re feeling all the emotions (and crying, i see you 👀) means the world to me!! 

thank you for binge-reading, crying, and loving all the messy parts, so lucky to have people like you reading my work! 😭 can’t wait for you to dive into my other fics too!! 🥹

[iamfruitie]

Kinktober 2023 Day 22

Double Penetration

“Oh fuck, I’m-I’m gonna-ah~!” Bing clawed at Green’s back, cumming all over his hand and feeling Red’s cock still moving inside of him. He was sandwiched between the two on the bed. Oliver sat on the bed with them, slowly working himself open with a toy, while Google was on the other side of the room, sitting in a chair and watching everything with the biggest smirk. 

“I bet you’re nice and relaxed now~” Red chuckled into Bing’s ear, reaching a hand down and pushing a finger into him with his cock, feeling that he was indeed relaxed enough to take in so much more. “Think you’re ready for two cocks? Poor Green’s been so patient.” 

“I’m ready. I am so ready.” Bing was already getting hard again. Being an Android came with so many perks. “Please, Green, fill me up~” He just got the words out before Green caught him in a kiss, hands going to his hips to adjust him. Red pulled hush hand away and helped guide Green’s cock to slowly push into Bing. “Holy fuck~!” Bing gasped, eyes rolling at how full he was now. 

“Let him sit for a moment. Make sure he feels all of it before you start moving.” Google directed from his chair. 

“We can do that.” Green chuckled, keeping a firmer hold on Bing’s hips while Red went for his waist. 

“But-But Googs! Please!” Bing whined, trying to move himself, but with two other Androids holding him still. It was impossible. 

“Be a good boy and wait a moment. Oliver wants to play, too.” Google nodded at Oliver, who licked his lips and took the toy out of himself. 

“Bingy? Can I ride~?” Oliver crawled over and slipped between Bing and Green, pressing his back to Green’s chest while running his hands down Bing’s. 

“Yes, yes, yes-” Bing couldn’t get the words out fast enough. Oliver only giggled and stopped his rambles with a kiss, hands going to his shoulders to help lift himself enough, so he could start sinking on Bing’s cock. He swallowed the other’s moans and pulled away with another giggle, resting his forehead on Bing’s shoulder.

“Now, isn’t that a perfect sight?” Google hummed, uncrossing his legs and showing Bing how much he enjoyed all this. “Go on, put on a show.” 

“Oh, fuck~!” Bing cried out when all three started to move. Oliver found a fast pace to fuck himself on his cock while he felt Red and Green taking turns thrusting up into him. “It’s so-It’s so much~! So good~!” He was still stuck in a way that prevented him from moving, only able to take what was given and cling to Oliver and Green like his life depended on it, leaning back against Red and moaning loudly. 

“There we go, just like that.” Google placed a hand on his thigh, resisting the strong urge to touch himself, but kept his composure and only allowed his hand to be close. He wanted to see Bing a complete mess before he stepped in and was the final addition to the mess. 

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m-” Bing dug his nails into whatever skin he could reach, tilted his head back, and moaning loudly, cumming inside of Oliver.  “Don’t stop, don’t stop~” He panted when the three did exactly that, none missing a beat and working Bing up and through overstimulation. Oliver didn’t last much longer after that, always getting too worked up from seeing his partner being in so much pleasure, and he leaned over, biting into Bing’s shoulder and cumming all over both of their stomachs. 

“Bingy~” Oliver moaned into Bing’s ear, holding on to him fully and riding through his own high.

“Sh-Shit,” Red grunted as his thrusts suddenly got harder. Bing felt tears beginning to form, and he whimpered at the feeling of Red cumming inside of him. Oliver took that brief pause to get off of Bing, but he stayed at his side and kissed his cheek, rubbing his chest to help him through as Green went back to fucking him eagerly. Red was also now hugging Bing around the stomach, tucking his face against his neck and holding on as he felt Green’s cock brushing against his own sensitive one. 

“Almost-Almost there.” Green groaned, gripping Bing’s hips harshly, and after several more strong thrusts, he was tensing up and cumming, adding to what was already inside of Bing. 

“So…S-So full.” Bing’s legs trembled a bit. 

“You did so good, Bingy.” Oliver praised. 

“Very good.” Red echoed, kissing Bing’s neck as he slowly pulled out. 

“Perfectly,” Green added as he did the same. 

“Such a good boy.” Google hummed low in his throat as he got up and went over to the bed, catching Bing in a kiss. 

“Googs~” Bing sang with a giggle, eyes glazed and showing his brain was no longer with them. He was off in a happy, fluffy, blissful place, and Google adored the way he was when there. 

“We’ll get you cleaned up in a moment, okay?” Google spoke in a whisper, sitting on the edge of the bed and running a hand across Bing’s chest as the other undid his jeans and finally letting his freed his cock and started stroking himself. “We’re going to get you all cleaned up, and then we’ll sleep in a nice big pile. How does that sound?” 

“Cuddles~” Bing giggled some more, eyes fluttering at the feeling of Oliver, Red, and Green’s hands massaging the rest of his body. 

“Only the best for you.” Google started softly panting, he knew he wouldn’t last long, and when he looked down at Bing’s mess of a body, that was enough to get him to cum already. “Fuck~” He groaned, hand gripping the bed covers, and he bit his lip, nearly drawing blood from it. “Alright, I’m good. Let’s finish taking care of Bing.” Google wiped his hand off on his pants, knowing they’d be off in a moment and joining the pile of clothing from the others. 

“Bean!” Bing squealed and hugged Green down to him. 

“I guess I will stay with Bing on the bed while the wash rags get gathered.” Green chuckled. 

The others agreed with head nods and, with all of them working together, it didn’t take long before they were all cleaned, and Bing was practically purring while in the middle of a big cuddle pile, feeling soft, warm, and loved. 

[babe-a-yaga]

Thoughts, about 42 hours into Veilguard. Roughly mid act 2 I think?

-Exploration and combat feel better than they ever have. Also thoroughly enjoying smashing all of the pottery in Hyrule Thedas

-Orb and Dagger mage is a fucking BLAST to play

-I spent all summer reading the novels/graphic novels/encyclopedias in prep, because I'm neurotic. I wasn't expecting this to pay off as richly as it has, but Veilguard REALLY rewards you for being a book reading player. In the past, Stolen Throne kind of provided a little bit more context to why Loghain is Like That, but wasn't required reading. The Calling really paid off in Awakening, and I was expecting Tevinter Nights to have SOME of that (faction rep babies and such!) But I'm SO pleased to see Felassan haunting the shit out of the narrative, and when I started to put pieces together on the Gloom Howler, I didn't dare believe it until Valya appeared on screen. To say nothing of finally meeting Maevaris! I am being RICHLY rewarded for reading the books!

- Based on the books, and the marketing, I came in with pretty predefined notions of the companions and how much I expected to like each, which, in typical DA fashion, has largely been subverted! Davrins whole "monster nemesis' didn't interest me much until I realized it was Isseya, now I'm INVESTED. I hadn't given much thought to Taash and actively disregarded Bellara as Temu Merrill. I came in prepared to love Lucanis and Neve and Harding. I DO love Lucanis, though he's so much softer than I expected(positive)! Taash has I think become my #1 of all the companions. Bellara is in my top 3.

-Ghilan'nain is fucking scary ok

-halfway through act one it really grabs you and just starts running and it's cinematic and high stakes and wonderful. And most of the (relatively minor) gripes I have are swept away in the narrative

-The whole dread wolf regrets quest line had my jaw on the floor from start to finish, then I cried. I had about 80% of it predicted but it was still wild to have it all confirmed.

-I have laughed out loud more than once

-Rooks dynamic with Solas is very interesting and I wish I had more of it? It started off being really snarky in both directions, and now Solas is looking at her and asking "hey you OK? Are your friends OK?" And it's just INTERESTING.

-I've seen critiques that the dialogue feels HR-ish, and I'd counter that it feels more like therapy at times. It took a little getting used to in those moments but I don't dislike it and I like the slow development of the characters.

-I've also seen criticism that purple dialogue is goofy (derrogatory). It is absolutely goofy, but I am a goofy person and I LOVE how much of a shit head it makes Rook sometimes.

-I miss the search function in inquisition. Loot is made much more visible, but I find the "investigate" points aren't marked to the spot on your mini map and don't stand out enough. I've spent too long in some areas spinning around in the "investigate here" circle on the map without being able to actually identify what I'm supposed to be investigating. Especially while I'm binging through the story and TIRED.

-music is a bit of a letdown. It isn't bad, it doesn't take me out of the moment anywhere, but it hasn't been particular memorable and at no point has it punched me in the chest, made me weep, and possessed a corner of my mind for ten years a-la dark solas/lost elf themes

-it's very beautiful. My Rook is beautiful. The companions are beautiful. Thedas is beautiful.

-Minrathous feels like Kirkwall. I can't put into words why I feel that way, it's all vibes. and especially after the dragon (I saved Treviso). Maybe it's just docktown. But very Kirkwall energy.

More to come, I'm sure

[makomaragi]

Hello! This is out of the blue but a bit ago I discovered your science fics during a late night obscure ship deep dive.. and I got inmediately hooked and binge read your stuff! I finally feel brave enough to comment. I'm in AWE about how good their characterizations are, it feels true to the smaller glimpses we have seen at their personalities but you manage to create a whole new universe about them. Those two are SO romantic also, whether in their early years to as a couple and especially in their "action" scenes lol..

They have such tenderness I might have cried a bit and screamed to my friends about it lol. I want to highlight Picklng up pieces.. BOY what a fic, you describe and convey emotions so well that even if a lot of the topics covered are foreign to me I Feel them and want to root for them.. Seriously the scene with the scar being shown was unironically one of the most touching things I've read. All the other fics are as awesome, I just spent til 5 AM reading that one and don't want to make this ask even longer.

I'm glad someone like you gives those two nerds the development and love they deserve, and whether you ever write more or not (because you're not obligated to!) your work is some of my fav fics ever. You can feel proud. I hope you are doing okay. I also want to say I found your work during a rough patch and if it's okay to say they've helped me a lot.

Apologies if this is too big of a ramble, seriously thank you for writing them. PD: Your fics might or might have not made me pick their origin game back up for the first time in years... And definitely made me love the ship. :)

I am so sorry, I have not checked my messages here in a long time.

Thank you so much, for saying this to me. It means a lot to me, that you took the time to read my super lengthy fics. I wrote them out of wanting to put my silly lil headcanons in to...something? I guess?

But I can't thank you enough, for taking the time to not only read my SUPER long fics, but find my Tumblr and send this to me. I literally have Fennel and Juniper tattooed on me, they are my favorite characters ever, and I will never really be able to explain why, because I don't have an answer. I've been shipping them for 12+ years now, and at some point over the last few years got brave enough to write long things.

I might write more, someday!! Come off anon and add me on discord or whatever if you want, but if not that is okay too. But, thank you. I am glad my fics helped you and didn't traumatize you too much. The subjects they are about are nothing that has ever happened to me in my life, or anything I know much from personal experience by any means, just fucked up headcanons I have for some reason. Sorry I am like this. This is the nicest thing anyone ever said about any of my fics, or art, or anything. Thank you <3

[hrhoffman]

So I finished binging The Magnus Archives

and I genuinely have so many thoughts that I can't even put into words

Spoilers for TMA as a whole, I guess

I'll start with Sasha because I want to do every point that hit heavy for me and if I don't do it in order I'll forget something

The idea of being replaced and forgotten, just, my God. And really, how little of the real Sasha we even got from the whole podcast is tragic. We got so little of her, liked her when we first heard her encounter with Michael, and then, boom, she's gone. Replaced. And as listeners, we Know Something will happen, but you just get that building dread every episode, what will Not!Sasha do? Is there a chance real Sasha could come back?

And by the end, we forget about Sasha because of everything else happening.

Tim was worse for me because as soon as his new arc was building up, I knew immediately there was ever going to be one ending for him. His building anger, his loss of his previous self, the information on his past and how it related to the next big fight they were going to. It was obvious he was going to get blown up as soon as the explosives were introduced.

And we don't get much mourning for Tim, because Jon is in a coma, Daisy is trapped, and Martin is losing himself.

I could go on a whole side tangent about the Lonely, make a list of all those hard hitting lines Martin said.

I'm not enough on my own. Can't get it out of my head.

The finale hurts. I can't stop myself from crying. I keep going back and forth about Jon's character

We watch him make questionable decisions for the entire podcast. His whole conspiracy fueled paranoia and just driving everyone away as if it's going to keep them safe. His final choice to take over instead of Elias

It's selfish, because ok, fuck lemme try to get this in words

Jon and Martin are opposites the whole time, I think

Martin's big speech to Peter and Elias where he says, "I'm not a chosen one" always stood out to me. Because there's times where Jon seems to believe HE needs to fix everything, that HE needs to keep his friends safe, that HE needs to save the world because he is SO SO guilty.

And Martin thinks so little of himself, but he puts so much love in others. It's so sad to see his change in S4 with the Lonely, because it's so distinctly not Martin.

He never stops hating himself, never stops loving Jon. Everything he does is for Jon. He had nothing to live for when Jon was gone.

They are each other's reasons. But Martin could be anywhere with Jon and be happy.

Jon needs to fix his wrongs to make them both happy. Whether that is true or not doesn't matter, because it is wholeheartedly what Jon believes.

And so he believes sacrificing himself to try to fix things will be better for Martin, but he never asked Martin what would actually make him happy.

Martin just wants to be by Jon's side.

And back to the selfish thing, I don't mean it in a negative way. I mean that Jon felt he literally needed to give himself up to atone. Like he had lost all self worth. Like he didn't care about himself.

He puts Martin in the worst possible position.

And I cried so hard at the ending, because I knew that they weren't Somewhere Else. They were dead. It mirrored Gertrude and her assistants, the foreshadowing of their deaths as Sasha and Tim dropped one by one.

There was no happy ending for us. There was no fixed world after what traumatic experience had been unleashed. Jon had to pay for his mistakes, but love caused Martin to go with him. (I think about those last few moments of Martin. Alive. Looking down at Jon's bleeding corpse. The panopticon crumbling around him. Martin knows he will die, but he's just had to kill his only Reason to live anyways)

I can't even say they're happy together in the fucking afterlife because the End or whatever exists and claims everyone. I always interpreted that as Hell existing for everyone after death.

And don't even get me started on the themes of finding happiness and love in the middle of the apocalypse

They just wanted to fix things man. It wasn't even Jon's fucking fault, AND OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER THING

I SWEAR Elias has to be Web aligned I fucking swear the strings he pulled throughout the whole fucking series dude. I think the Eye and Web are pretty close anyways but that Manipulating Bastard FUCK HIM

Jon believes he's done everything wrong, because he refuses to blame Dickhead McGee. Doesn't help that everyone is on his ass the whole podcast, and like, yeah, Jon does some stupid shit but come the fuck on why did the foreshadowing of his slowly worse decisions have to end like this man I can't stop thinking about it

[exclusivecolette]

LOVE AGAINST ALL ODDS

PT.8

(also kinda rushed sorry)

(if you aren’t blonde or don’t apply to the features, you can just put your own features in. i just put my features because i didn’t really know what else.)

summary: a girl starts to fall in love with a boy in class. But, her abusive parents are extremely strict (ignoring the fact she’s even old enough to drive.) And what is she gonna do when she realizes, he isn’t just some crush

TW: cussing, mention of smoking, not much-

As she peaks over the light fabric she prays matt would be on the other side. But she was just met with that same light fabric. Matt was gone. what did i do?

I made my way to sit the kitchen to sit down. I just thought. He taught me how to roll it. I acted like a child a bit. Then we kissed- we just kissed. Then- um.

I don’t know.

is that why he’s upset? because we kissed?

As thoughts flooded her mind, tears flooded her eyes. She didn’t know what she did, or maybe it was something she didn’t do- she didn’t know but it was stressing her out.

-

Her cries were interrupted by the front door opening. She quickly walked over to see. He just went to the store. He just went out for a bit. She was met with a familiar pair of eyes but not the ones she’d hoped. “oh baby what’s wrong” Syds arms wrapped around her instantly. “he’s gone.” is all that left her mouth beside choked cries.

“Who?” She thought for a second and fury instantly filled her body. “god i’ll fucking kill hi-“ she plotted before i interrupted her. “No i think i did something. But im not sure what” i say pulling away and walked over to the kitchen stools. “What do you mean?” she asked joining my seated position. “Well me and matt smoked a little” i say quietly avoiding her eyes.

“You smoked?” She asked in shock. “Yeah and i just messed around a little and everything was fine, we- um” i cleared my throat “kissed” the painting on the wall has never looked more fascinating. “Kissed? Then he left?” she asked in disbelief. The tears had stopped and i had wiped them away as a little anger filled my body. “I’m not sure if i did something because I just woke up in my bed. And we didn’t kiss on my bed, we kissed on the porch.” i let out a breath.

“Sounds like a dick. If something did happen you’d think he’d-“ i stopped her. “I just not sure.” i say standing up.

-

I stayed the night a sydney’s to get my mind off things. My parents were coming back today. And i was not looking forward to it. I wish i could be with matt right now. But he just left, he doesn’t wanna be with me. I was just something to take his boredom away. He left without a word and still hasn’t text me, im not mad i- I just miss him.

-

The wind blew onto his cold face as he stared into the door he was starting to become familiar with. He finally had the courage to even lift his hand to the door. He knocked, and waited. Nervously. He heard the door unlock. But his face didn’t meet the blonde he was hoping to see. Instead he met Charlie’s. Charlie scoffed as he stepped out of the house, shutting the door behind him. “What are you doing here?” He looked mad. Was he mad at me? “i’m just here- um his y/n home?” his voice shook.

“No actually, she was so upset about something. And i was just thinking what could have made her so upset.” Char felt his body heat up “Then i remembered, you were at the house with her” his finger poked matt’s chest aggressively. “I don’t charlie, she hasn’t texted me-“ Matt tried to explain. “You know what? Just stay away from her man.” He turned around and made his way into the house, slamming the door behind him.

-

Y/n returned back to her now awkward and tense house. She had 3 more days left of spring break and was just hoping for one thing, or one person. Her parents tried to get her out of her bed. Charlie spent the rest of his break next to her, binging tv shows. He didn’t even wanna try to ask what happened. She felt bad.

Char was wasting the rest of his break to be with her. She tried to explain that she was fine, but he shut her down each time. She wasn’t fine, how could this boy she just started intimately talking to after her this much? Her parents were worried, they didn’t know what happened or if it was their fault.

-

It was the first day back after break. She was forced to see matt and she wasn’t ready at all. She threw her hair in a low messy bun, sweatpants, and a random crop top. She’d thought about texting matt first but didn’t know what happened. That’s what was driving her crazy.

-

I avoid matt as much as possible, i only the back of his head all day and that was enough. But know she had to sit next to him. She walked into class and sat down putting her head down, preparing for when matt was gonna walk in. She heard the seat next to her get sat in. Then objects slowly moving around on the desk. She had to put her head up at some point so she decided to just get it over with.

So she did, she felt matt’s eyes instantly shot to her. Tears threaten to pour out so she rest her head on her left hand that was block her face from him. He sighed.

-

A girl sat next to him. They started talking, i felt jealously fill my body. I just wanted to see who it was. I lifted my head, looked and locked eyes with matt for second. I looked to the girl and back to him, he was silent. Pathetic. I stand up in my seat grabbing my stuff. “Class isn’t over y/n” an older voice stated, but i ignored. I made my way to the bathroom and stayed in a stall for the rest of the day.

-

Sydney’s eyes met with matt’s while they were both out in the halls during class to escape a few minutes. “Fucking prick” she said while she walked by “what did you just call me?” he turned around. “I called you a fucking prick. That’s what you are. You had no fucking right” Her voice raised “what are you taking about?” he asked confused. “leaving her like that without letting her know it fucking ridiculous” She explained. “I left a note.” he defended. “sure you did” she stormed off shaking her head in disbelief.

-

“he didn’t leave a fucking note” i say upset through the phone. “yeah i know. And he was the nerve to lie about it?” Sydney added. “whatever i’m gonna to bed goodnight syd” they ended the call.

Y/n made her way downstairs. “Will you stir this for me?” Her mom asked referring to the pot of pasta.

!FLASHBACK!

“what are you guys making” i ask and nick says “well pasta but the noodles keeping fucking up. they keep getting stuck together.” he complained “well are you stirring it?” i ask. “dumbass” matt muttered. “god” i laugh and walking over to it and stirring it.

“yeah sure” I cleared my throat as i felt tears build in my eyes. I stir the pot thinking, “that’s good thanks” my mom said and i nodded and started walking away when i spot something. I piece of paper under the refrigerator. I picked it up and quickly run up to my room.

I turn the paper over:

I didn’t know if i should stay or not, so i’m sorry. Text me when you wake up. Only if you want to. I’m sorry again

-matt <3

shit.

[queen-beefcake-sqx]

I’ve wanted to make this post for a while but headcanons on what media I’ve consumed that various characters in Disco Elysium would be insane over:

Harry — Harry would fucking love Paradise Killer. He’d love Lady Love Dies and her whole affect and the weird vaporwave aesthetic and he’d absolutely make himself puke playing it too long (based on actual experiences). Really any detective game he’d be insane over and YES he has opinions on every one of the Nancy Drew adventure games, thank you very much. He’d also watch way too many sports movies and yell at the screen constantly when people make bad calls or plays. Probably has The Waterboy memorized tbh. Not-so-secretly cries over romances — Notting Hill with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts is his favorite.

Kim — Kim’s an original trilogy Star Wars fan and will never admit the massive crush he has on Han Solo. He’s also watched the entire Lord of the Rings saga as a marathon and will absolutely offer his opinion on how it stacks up to the books if you give him the slightest nudge. He’s read A Wrinkle in Time so many times he’s had to replace his childhood copy with a new one because pages were finally falling out.

Jean — Watches police procedurals because he likes to mock their sensationalism, particularly CSI: Miami and Law and Order: SVU. When he actually decides to love himself he watches pre-Marvel superhero movies, particularly Hellboy and Spiderman (Tobey Macguire edition).

Judit — She listens to podcasts because she’s a mom and a cop and there just aren’t enough hours in the day to sit and watch/read something. She likes funny podcasts like My Brother My Brother and Me best, for some levity in her life, but sometimes she’ll listen to Oh No! Ross and Carrie if they’re covering a topic she’s interested in.

Cuno — He likes torture porn horror he really shouldn’t be watching at his age. Him and Cunoesse binged the entire Saw series and are now afraid of jesters and clowns. Following it up with watching It didn’t help.

Garte — He doesn’t have a ton of time to consume media (three cafeterias!!!) but he’ll read novels under the counter during slow periods. He’s particularly fond of Charles Dickens and his many rags-to-riches stories like Great Expectations.

Klaasje — She likes non-American films like Let the Right One In (to which she says the book is better) and Pan’s Labryinth. All time favorite is The Cakemaker, which she regularly shows to people and when they comment on how sad it is she drags on her cigarette and smiles and says, “I know, it’s awful” and keeps watching.

Ruby — Mad Max: Fury Road is godtier in her mind and Furiosa is her hero. She listens to the podcast Alice Isn’t Dead on long drives even if she’s heard it a thousand times. She cries every time she watches Carol which is why nobody knows she likes it.

Joyce — Had a massive Game of Thrones phase and wrote scathing reviews after the series finale.

Evrart — I literally do not think me and this man would see eye to eye on any media ever but he’d probably turn on Fox News and shake his head at the state of politics.

Soona — she reads scientific and academic essays for fun and literally nothing else.

Feel free to ask about other characters I can do this all day.

[stillcrazyin2023]

supernatural was only good because I was queer ~ a timeline

2013 me:

*watches supernatural, seasons 1 and 2 at a friend’s house for the very first time*

*tries not to let friends see me blushing

*it finally happened, a boy I’m genuinely attracted to, I guess I won’t die alone, maybe?*

2015 me:

*huddled in a blanket burrito at 3 am, 20 episodes into a day-long binge, fully steeped in every available spn soundtrack on YouTube, probably wearing a flannel under my blanket, crying over young dean’s ~trauma~*

*i just feel so much sympathy for this character*

*I relate so much to this fucking fictional character* *why do I relate so much to this broken goddamn character?*

***

*spends entire summer obsessing over this absolute wreck of a show*

*searches angsty spn fan art on Pinterest*

later 2015 me:

*walks around my college campus in hiking boots and a flannel-hoody-canvas jacket combo with a scowl on my face and rock music blaring in my ears*

*I just think he’s a good older sibling and I just want to emulate him so I can be a better older sibling to my younger sisters*

*searches dean-inspired outfits on Pinterest*

*learns about “coding” and “kinning”*

*chuckles to no one in particular, I’m so Dean-coded*

*stumbles upon the hillywood show*

*stumbles*

***

2016 me

*continues to obsess daily over Dean posts on Pinterest*

*I wish I could cut my hair*

*doesn’t*

2017 me

*still wearing five layers of flannel and a hoody at 3am*

*searches adult tomboy on pinterest*

*searches not boy not girl gender on pinterest*

*learns about non-binary gender identity*

*panics about not feeling real*

*what person would ever be attracted to a person who’s not a person?* (obviously a naive and uninformed take on my part, but my immediate reaction nevertheless)

*hides hair under a hoody and goes to strike best “blue steel” in the mirror at 3 am*

*feels giddy*

*takes selfie*

*good thing that’s out of my system*

2018 me

*tries dating a guy friend*

*breaks up after a week*

*friendship goes up in flames*

*starts watching lesbian bloggers for relationship advice*

2019 me

*regularly researches gender and sexuality terms and flags to remain informed as an ally*

*reads about comphet master doc on Reddit to better understand why I felt pressured as a straight woman to date my male friend*

*nods along, yes, i understand, even straight women experience comphet*

*unironically reads the first 5 chapters of Stone Butch Blues in order to better understand the lesbian identity and history*

*as an ally*

*a really good ally*

*hypothetically imagines self as Jess*

*for educational purposes*

*and like, allyship*

*cries*

*wants to cut hair*

*doesn’t*

2020 me

*if only I knew how long we would be out of the office, then I could try cutting my hair and have time to grow it back before returning to the office*

*rewatches seasons 1-6*

*watches lesbian couples vlogs “because they’re entertaining and I’m an ally, and I just really appreciate their healthy relationship”*

*downloads tiktok*

*entrenches self in queer tiktok*

*ally*

*watches tiktok claiming all lesbians are Dean-coded*

*pauses*

*scrolls*

*does not cut hair*

2021 me

*I’ve been out of the office long enough. I think I can finally cut my hair*

*feels at home in body*

*that’s neat*

***

*I need to be sure about this before I comes out*

*revisits Stone Butch Blues to make sure I’m sure*

2022 me

*hears about trash spn ending*

*hmm, i wonder why I liked such an objectively trash show in the first place*

also 2022 me: *is a raging masculine-of-center non-binary genderqueer butch lesbian*

Dean Winchester: *is subtextually (canonically) an angry, repressed, oblivious bi person, whose every inexplicably cringe action as a straight man makes 5000% more sense for someone struggling to reconcile queer masculinity without a blueprint*