#i just felt like adding a lot to situate ourselves

[bradshawsbaby]

Like Peas in a Pod

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader

Summary: What happens when two wallflowers find each other?

Word Count: 5.7k

Author’s Note: I admit that this story is extremely self-indulgent. But I have a feeling that a lot of people can relate to what our leading lady goes through, and I hope you can find pieces of yourself in her!

Warnings: Mild angst, social awkwardness, feeling overlooked, alcohol consumption, flirting, fluff.

If you’d had it your way, you would be at home right now, curled up on the couch in a pair of cozy pajamas with a good book and a steaming cup of tea in hand. But instead, your friends had outnumbered you 3-1 and you were currently sitting in the middle of a noisy, crowded bar, the patrons loudly competing with the music that was blaring through the speakers.

“Do we have to go out tonight?” you’d groaned over FaceTime a few hours earlier. “It’s been such a long week. Can’t we just do a wine night and put on some movies?”

“We did that last week!” Shawna argued. “C’mon, I just got my nails done. Don’t let it be for nothing,” she teased, wiggling her manicured fingers in front of the camera.

“Besides,” Kelsey chimed in, “like you said, it has been a long week. We deserve a night out to unwind and treat ourselves.”

“Hopefully we’ll find other people to treat us,” Renee added cheekily, tossing her unruly dark curls over her shoulder as she winked.

“Besides, the girls at work told me this is a really fun bar. Apparently it’s where all the hotties from North Island go after work,” Shawna giggled.

Your former college roommate had just started a new nursing job at Naval Medical Center San Diego, so if anyone was going to know where the hot Navy guys spent their off hours, it would be her.

“It’s settled! We’re going to The Hard Deck, ladies,” Renee grinned, blowing you all a kiss. “Meet at my place at 8 and we’ll Uber over.”

As much as you would have preferred to stay at home tonight, you had to admit that Shawna hadn’t been wrong. From the moment you’d stepped foot inside The Hard Deck, you’d been amazed at the sheer number of attractive men crowding the space. You certainly never found men like this when you hit the bars downtown.

Renee, ever the mastermind when it came to scoping out the most advantageous situations, quickly managed to grab your group a table smack in the middle of the room. It had an excellent vantage point that not only made you most visible to the bar’s patrons, but also gave you a perfect view of the pool table, the dart boards, and the bar all at once.

“Cheers, ladies!” Kelsey exclaimed once you were all seated with your first round of drinks. “And a special toast to Shawna for telling us about this place!” she added with a grin, holding up her glass of hard cider.

The rest of you held up your drinks—Renee had opted for a bottle of Coors, Shawna had gone with an IPA, and you had chosen a High Noon—and clinked them together with a celebratory “Cheers!”

“Tonight’s the night that you’re finally going to find yourself a man,” Shawna told you, turning to you and playfully poking you in the side.

“Yes, it is!” Renee nodded in agreement, winking at you from across the table as she took a sip of her beer.

“Take your pick, babe,” Kelsey added, waving her hand to encompass the whole bar. “I’ve literally never seen so many gorgeous guys all in one place. And in uniform, too!”

You felt the back of your neck prickling and your skin growing warm at your friends’ expectant stares, a weak smile gracing your lips as you took a sip of your drink. It always ended up being like this. You loved your friends, and you knew they meant well, but they had no idea what it was like to be in your shoes.

The four of you had been best friends since college, despite the fact that you couldn’t have been more different from one another if you tried. Kelsey always joked that your four personalities combined helped to balance each other out.

Despite their differences in looks, style, and demeanor, Shawna, Renee, and Kelsey did all have one thing in common that you had never seemed to possess—the ability to turn men’s heads no matter where they were.

Shawna had the perfectly sweet girl-next-door vibe going on. With her strawberry blonde locks, big blue eyes, dusting of freckles, and curvy figure, she always attracted guys like bees to a flower.

At any given time, Kelsey looked like she had just walked off the runway. Even in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, she managed to look chic. With her tall, willowy figure, sleek dark brown bob, almond-shaped eyes, and lips that never needed lipstick, she had men drooling all over her.

Arguably the most exuberant member of the group was Renee, who had been a firecracker for as long as you had known her. The only thing bigger than her laugh was her smile, and she had the most gorgeous ebony curls that contrasted perfectly with her cinnamon-colored skin. Paired with her petite figure, she drew men in like moths to a flame.

And then there was you. Quiet, shy, bookish you. Throughout college, people had often commented that you seemed like the most grounded out of all your friends, but you knew what that really meant. You were boring. And you knew what people were really trying to say—how had you become friends with such fun-loving girls?

You loved your friends more than anything, and you were grateful for the ways they’d helped you come out of your shell since college. But you’d be lying if you said going out to bars with them wasn’t challenging at times.

They all knew how to light up a room, how to flirt and talk to random strangers and get phone numbers from the hottest men you’d ever seen. You—didn’t know how to do any of that.

You’d tried over the years, you really had. Mainly at the girls’ insistence. You made an effort to flirt with the guys they introduced you to, or strike up conversations with  random cuties at your favorite coffee shop, but it never seemed to work for you the way that it did for your friends. And guys never approached you the way they did Shawna and Kelsey and Renee.

The most painful experience had been a couple months ago, when a guy had come up to you while you were waiting to order a drink, smiling and chatting in a way that had you thinking he was interested. Your heart had soared inside your chest, only to crash a few moments later when he asked, “So, is your friend single?” while pointing at Kelsey.

You hadn’t told any of your friends about that encounter. You knew they’d just feel bad and you didn’t want them to. They were desperate to find somebody for you, and you didn’t have the heart to tell them that you’d given up hoping for that a long time ago. They just wouldn’t understand. They went on dates all the time. You were just the one guys approached to inquire after their relationship statuses.

“Don’t give us that look,” Renee told you, shaking her head and pointing an accusatory finger at you as you attempted to slink down in your seat. “You look hot tonight, and you need to show it off!”

“You do,” Shawna nodded vehemently, nudging you in the side again until you sat up straight. “I love that top.”

“See? I told you it was a solid purchase,” Kelsey winked, as she had been the one to convince you to buy the top in question when the two of you had gone shopping a couple weeks ago.

Despite your lack of hopefulness, you had put a good deal of effort into your appearance tonight. You couldn’t help it. A bar full of hot guys in sexy uniforms? You’d be crazy not to try. You’d spent over an hour on your hair and make-up, and had decided to finally take the tags off the top Kelsey had convinced you to buy. The neckline flattered your figure and hugged your body in all the right places. You’d coupled it with a pair of high-waisted jeans and strappy sandals to show off your pedicure. Even you had to admit that you looked good, but you still hadn’t seemed to catch the eye of any guy in the bar.

“Let’s just enjoy the night and focus on us,” you said, trying to deflect your friends’ intense attention. “If anybody else happens to come along, then so be it.”

The girls all shot you dissatisfied looks, but didn’t push the point any further. Shawna started regaling you all with stories from her new job, which allowed you to let out a soft sigh of relief.

As the night went on, you tried your best not to grow discouraged, but it was getting harder and harder. Countless guys had passed by your table, stopping to flirt with Renee or Kelsey or Shawna, or even all three, but their eyes skipped over you like you were invisible. Whenever your friends tried to direct their attention your way, they smiled politely before instantly turning back to the actual objects of their attraction. Every time you got up to use the bathroom or order another round at the bar, you attempted to smile and make eye contact and appear open and interested, all the things your friends had been telling you to do for years, but none of it worked.

At that point, all you wanted to do was go home, put on your pajamas, and live vicariously through a good rom com.

You were about to tell your friends that you were going to get going when one of the bartenders—if you’d heard correctly earlier, she might have been the owner—approached your table with a tray full of drinks, a smile gracing her lovely face.

“Ladies, these are for you,” she said, setting down a cider for Kelsey, a Coors for Renee, an IPA for Shawna, and a High Noon for you.

“Oh,” Shawna said, her blue eyes widening in surprise. “I think there might have been a mistake. We didn’t order another round, did we?” she asked, looking at the rest of you.

“Not that we won’t take them,” Renee chimed in with that bright laugh of hers.

The woman smiled at the four of you. “No mistake. These drinks are compliments of the group over there,” she chuckled, pointing at a group of officers clustered around the pool table.

The four of you turned your gazes in the direction she was pointing, your friends letting out various sounds of delighted surprise when they realized the men in question looked as though they had just been featured on the cover of Men’s Health magazine.

“Oh, we’ll definitely take them!” Renee beamed, flipping her dark curls over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Kelsey grinned up at the older woman gratefully.

“Of course,” she nodded, tucking her empty tray under her arm. She leaned in a little closer with a conspiratorial smile and whispered, “I’ll vouch for the fact that they’re good guys. But if they act like idiots, just come find me. My name is Penny.”

“Thanks, Penny,” Shawna giggled, reaching for her new drink. “We owe you one!”

Penny winked at you before heading back to the bar, which was surrounded by thirsty customers. Business was booming. If Penny was the owner as you suspected, then she must have been doing quite well.

“Should we go thank them for the drinks?” Shawna grinned, chewing on her lower lip as she glanced in the direction of the handsome officers at the pool table.

“Not yet,” Renee decided, smirking mischievously. “We’ll let them sweat it out a little bit first.”

“Renee!” Kelsey laughed, lightly smacking her on the arm.

“What? You know it’ll work. They’ll be eating out of the palms of our hands,” Renee grinned, taking a hearty sip of her Coors.

“They look cute,” you ventured, though your palms were already sweating at the thought of approaching them. You highly doubted any of them would be eating out of your clammy palms.

Clearly you shouldn’t have said anything, because suddenly all three of your friends were pouncing on you like ravenous wolves.

“Which one do you think is the cutest?”

“Do you see one you like?”

“Claim one now before we get over there!”

Their words loudly overlapped one another, to the point that you had to resist the urge to cover your ears with your hands.

“I—I—I don’t know!” you exclaimed, feeling your skin grow warm with embarrassment. You hated being the center of attention. “I just meant—I mean, they look cute for you guys.”

“Um, last I checked, you were just as single as the rest of us. Why wouldn’t they be cute for you, too?” Kelsey demanded, raising one of her perfectly waxed eyebrows.

“Please, you guys, let’s just drop it. I’m probably going to start heading home soon anyway,” you told them, sliding down in your seat and wishing the ground would swallow you whole.

“What? No, you can’t!” Renee and Shawna practically cried in unison.

“C’mon, we’ll go over to them now,” Renee decided, grabbing her drink and her purse. “You can’t leave yet,” she insisted.

Kelsey and Shawna nodded, grabbing their things and following suit, nearly having to drag you out of your seat to get you to come with them.

“Well, well, well, fellas,” smirked a blonde-headed officer as the four of you approached the pool table. “Looks like our little gift didn’t go unnoticed after all.”

Glancing down quickly, you spotted the name printed on his nameplate—Seresin. He was extremely handsome in that clean-cut, All-American way, with his perfectly coiffed blonde hair, sparkling green eyes, and charming smile.

Renee, who always ended up being your group’s fearless leader, smirked in return as she stepped to the head of the pack. “Well, well, well, ladies. Looks like the guys who sent us those drinks aren’t half bad after all,” she said, resting a hand on her hip as she gazed up at the blonde man, challenge twinkling in her dark eyes. “Even if they weren’t brave enough to come bring us the drinks themselves.”

Kelsey and Shawna stood on either side of her, giggling softly, while you hung near the back, staring down at your feet as your cheeks burned hot.

“Most of us aren’t half bad. I can’t speak for Hangman here,” another voice piped up, deep and gravelly. You could sense, rather than see, Kelsey’s ears pricking up at the sound.

Glancing up, you saw another handsome man standing before you, looking every inch Kelsey’s type with his sunkissed brown hair, broad shoulders, tanned skin, and easygoing smile. If you knew Kelsey, you knew she was already imagining what that mustache would feel like against her lips. You clocked his nameplate as well—Bradshaw.

“Hangman?” Renee asked coquettishly, quirking an eyebrow as she glanced between the two men.

“My callsign,” the blonde cut in smoothly, pool cue still in hand. It was clear that while he and Bradshaw might be buddies, there was still a sense of competition between the two.

“Ah, callsigns. You’re fighter pilots,” Shawna commented, grinning knowingly. Thank goodness for her job at NMCSD. She was much more in the know than any of the rest of you.

“Not just any fighter pilots. The best fighter pilots,” came another voice from the other side of the pool table. When Hangman stepped to the side, you saw it belonged to a guy whose jawline looked like it could cut glass and whose smile could melt butter. His nameplate read Machado.

“Oh, yeah?” Kelsey asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “And who determines that?”

“The Navy,” Bradshaw replied smoothly, stepping a little closer to your statuesque friend. “We’re all TOPGUN graduates. The top 1%.”

“Hmm, and humble, too,” Kelsey laughed, delicately resting her hand on his arm as she did so. “So what’s your callsign then?”

“Rooster,” the mustached man told her, chest puffing out with pride. “But I’m being awfully rude. I didn’t catch your name,” he said, holding out his large hand.

“Kelsey,” she replied, her dark eyes twinkling as she slipped her hand into his.

You watched as, almost instantly, your friends partnered off quite naturally with the handsome aviators. Renee and Hangman were already bickering about the best way to sink the 8 ball, Kelsey and Rooster were talking about music near the window, and Shawna was flirting up a storm with Machado, whose callsign turned out to be Coyote.

Your stomach sank as you realized that you were suddenly on your own. As usual. Not that you resented your friends getting to flirt with cute guys. You always cheered them on when they met someone new, and you were always there to celebrate with them. You just wished that, for once, they had a reason to celebrate with you.

Glancing around, you saw that there were several other officers hanging around the pool table, though most of them seemed to be engrossed in their own conversations. No one was paying you any mind. And suddenly you felt like crying.

What was wrong with you? Was there something about you that just naturally repelled handsome men? Your friends were constantly telling you how beautiful you were, but that was hard to believe when you were the only one who never got hit on, never got asked out, never felt special or seen by anybody.

It was time to go home. You could feel the tears stinging the backs of your eyes, and the last thing you needed was to start bawling in the middle of a Navy bar. No one would notice if you just slipped away. You’d text your friends in the Uber and ask them to let you know how the rest of their night went. It always ended up being like this, and you weren’t sure why you had thought tonight would be any different.

Silently leaving your drink on the table with your friends’ things, you turned and began snaking your way through the crowd, trying to get to the bar so that you could close out your tab. Before you could get there, however, someone bumped into you from behind, sending your purse flying out of your hands.

Sighing softly, you dropped down to your hands and knees, praying you wouldn’t get stomped on as you tried to reach for it. Just as your hand was hovering over it, however, a much larger hand closed down around it and lifted it up.

Before you could shout for help, that same hand was hovering in front of your face, silently offering to help you up off the sticky bar floor. You lifted your head and your heart skipped a beat at the man who was gazing down at you. He had sandy brown hair, big blue eyes magnified behind a pair of military-issued glasses, and ruddy cheeks, an uncertain smile on his handsome face.

Wordlessly, you took his hand and allowed him to pull you back up to your feet. He was even taller than you had originally thought from your position down on the ground.

“Are you alright?” he asked loudly, trying to be heard over the din of the crowd.

“Yes,” you yelled back, nodding your head on the off-chance he hadn’t heard you. “Thank you,” you added.

“I’m guessing you were looking for this?” he went on, holding up your purse in his other hand.

You nodded again, accepting your bag with a grateful smile. “I guess I’m just a klutz,” you told him sheepishly, the realization dawning that this man had literally just witnessed you crawling on a grimy bar floor.

He smiled in response, which only made him look all the more handsome. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said, shaking his head. “Someone bumped into you.”

He had seen that? Had he actually been paying attention to you? Or did he just happen to be nearby?

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it,” you murmured, nervously fiddling with one of your bracelets as you glanced over at the bar.

He followed your gaze, his expression conflicted. “Well I don’t want to hold you up,” he told you, sounding vaguely disappointed.

Your head whipped back in his direction. “Oh, no! I mean, you’re not. I was just trying to get to the bar to close my tab.”

Were you losing your mind or did he really look disappointed now?

“Oh, you’re leaving?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder. “I, um, I thought I saw you with the girls who were hanging out with my friends,” he explained, indicating the group at the pool table with his thumb.

He was a part of that group? Was this a sign that maybe you shouldn’t leave after all?

“Oh, um, yeah,” you nodded, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to think of what to say. “I just, um…well, it’s kind of loud in here and I just…” Your sentence trailed off as you realized how lame you sounded.

“Would you like to maybe go outside for a minute?” he suggested. When you hesitated, he stammered, “I mean, of course you don’t have to. I’m sorry. I mean, obviously you just want to get out of here and I’m—”

“No,” you cut him off, briefly brushing your fingers against his arm. “I mean, I would like that,” you clarified with a shy smile.

“Oh,” he blinked, looking a little surprised. But then he brightened instantly, his bright blue eyes shining as he smiled at you in return. “I’m Bob, by the way. Bob Floyd,” he introduced himself, holding out his hand to you.

Slipping your hand into his, you smiled wider as you told him your name, beaming when he repeated it back to you and told you it was pretty.

“So do you have a callsign, too, Bob?” you asked curiously as he led you through the crowd and towards one of the back doors that faced the beach. “Your friends were telling me and my friends their callsigns earlier.”

“Oh, um, yeah,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck as he held open the door that led to a little back patio with picnic tables. It was relatively empty, except for a few people hanging out in the sand. “My callsign is Bob. Original, I know,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh, as if he was used to being made fun of for it.

In that instant, you felt a deep sense of connectedness to him that you couldn’t explain. Maybe it was the way he ducked his head and averted his gaze, like he was trying to hide, or the way he nervously shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose, but you were suddenly certain that no one understood what it felt like to be in your shoes more than he did. To be overlooked, forgotten, underestimated. To be uncomfortable in your own skin because you were so certain you were never going to be enough for people.

“I like it,” you told him with a smile.

“Thank you,” he replied sincerely, looking caught off guard and surprised by your words once again.

The two of you wandered over to one of the picnic tables and took seats opposite each other, the fairy lights strung up outside illuminating his features as he gazed at you.

“Is this your first time at The Hard Deck?” he asked curiously, resting his elbows on the table. “I feel like I’d remember seeing you.”

You bit down on your lower lip to hide your smile, his words warming you from the inside out. “It is, actually. It was my friend Shawna’s idea to come tonight. She just recently started working at NMCSD and some of her co-workers told her this was a good spot.”

“It is,” Bob nodded, smiling at you. “Penny Benjamin, the owner, is a good woman and she always makes sure to look out for us.”

“I’m guessing this is a regular spot for you guys then?” you questioned, glancing up and spotting your friends through one of the windows. They looked like they were still having a good time with the aviators they’d found.

“Pretty much, yeah,” he chuckled. “It’s been almost a year since I’ve been back in San Diego. I was at TOPGUN a few years ago, then got stationed at Lemoore, then got called back to TOPGUN last October for a special mission, then got asked to stay on permanently with my new squadron. The Hard Deck has become like a second home,” he joked.

You laughed softly, charmed by the way he told you the story without a trace of arrogance or conceit. Clearly, he was one of the Navy’s best pilots if he had been called to TOPGUN not once, but twice, but he wasn’t bragging or boasting. He was just stating the facts.

As if he could read your mind, Bob explained, “I’m actually not a pilot. I’m a Weapons Systems Officer. I ride in the rear of the jet and deal with navigation and operating the aircraft system. I wanted to be a pilot when I was young, but my vision’s always been a problem. I’m proud to be a WSO though. And I have a great partner.”

“I think that sounds really impressive,” you told him honestly, reaching out and resting your hand over his. “I’m sure that takes a tremendous amount of skill and talent. If it was up to me, we’d never make it off the ground,” you grinned.

Bob smiled in return. “I’m sure you’d get the hang of it real quick. You seem really smart,” he said, the tips of his ears turning red as he ducked his head slightly. “So, uh, what do you do?”

“I’m a teacher,” you replied. “I teach history to middle schoolers.”

“Now that’s something I’m sure takes a tremendous amount of skill and talent. Just the thought of middle schoolers terrifies me,” he admitted, which made both of you laugh. “And history, too, huh? I love history. It was always my favorite subject in school.”

“Really?” you asked excitedly. It was rare that you found someone who enjoyed geeking out over history as much as you did.

“Absolutely. If I hadn’t gone into the Navy, I would have loved working in a museum or something. Maybe being a teacher, but like I said—middle schoolers terrify me,” he grinned, his eyes crinkling.

“There’s always high school,” you pointed out with a smile.

“Even worse!” he exclaimed, which made you dissolve into a fit of giggles.

The two of you sat in companionable silence for a few moments, taking in the sound of the ocean waves and the faint trickle of music coming from inside the bar.

“Is that a piano?” you asked when the sound of the music registered in your ears.

“Sounds like Rooster is already trying to show off to your friend,” Bob teased, glancing over his shoulder as the door opened and a small group of rowdy sailors made their way outside.

“Trust me, Kelsey is probably eating it all up right now,” you assured him with a knowing look.

“My friends are very smooth with the ladies, but they’re also good guys, I promise. Your friends are in good hands,” he told you.

“It’s funny, Penny told us the same thing earlier,” you said.

“Ah, well, no one’s more trustworthy than Penny,” Bob smiled.

You nodded and the two of you sat in silence once again. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, however. You didn’t feel the need to fill it with awkward chatter. You were more than happy to just sit there with him, enjoying the cool evening air and listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

Bob looked like something was on his mind, like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. When you met his eyes and cocked your head to the side curiously, however, he seemed to come to a decision.

“Why were you going to leave?”

You were a little taken aback by his question and immediately dropped your gaze to your lap, fiddling with the strap of your purse and trying to figure out how to answer his question in a way that didn’t make you sound completely pathetic.

“I’m sorry, that’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked that,” Bob chastised himself, shaking his head. “Please, just forget it.”

“No, um, it’s okay,” you reassured him, clearing your throat slightly. You suddenly wished you had thought to grab a cup of water before coming outside. “Um, I guess I just realized that my friends were really hitting it off with your friends, and I didn’t see any point in sticking around any longer.”

Bob seemed troubled by your response, a small crease appearing between his brows. “Wasn’t there anybody for you to talk to?”

You turned your face away in embarrassment. Things had been going so well. You didn’t want Bob to know what a wallflower you truly were.

“Um, no, not really. My friends are the ones guys usually want to talk to,” you admitted quietly, your voice nearly drowned out by the wind. Your mouth felt so dry, and your hands were sweaty as you wiped them against your jeans.

Bob fully frowned at that. “Guys should be lined up out the door to talk to you,” he said softly, his voice serious.

“That’s sweet of you to say,” you murmured, staring down at the table instead of meeting his eyes.

“I’m not just saying it,” Bob insisted, his tone so urgent that it actually caused you to lift your head up to look at him. “You’re sweet and kind and funny and smart and so beautiful. Guys would have to be insane not to want to talk to you. I’m honestly shocked you’re out here talking to me of all people.”

“Don’t say that,” you begged him, your heart hurting to think that other women didn’t appreciate the wonderful man sitting before you.

“I know that I’m not like my friends,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he blushed furiously. “I know I’m not the kind of guy that girls want to talk to. So I know what it’s like to feel like you could just disappear in a place like this and nobody would notice. I hate that you feel that way, too.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his words. You had never met anyone before who seemed to know your thoughts so clearly, who could read your mind and understand everything you were feeling.

“Bob,” you breathed out, reaching across the table and clasping one of his hands between both of yours. “I think you’re a terrific guy. And the girls who can’t see that? It’s their loss.”

He smiled at that, his gaze fixed on your face as he rested his free hand over yours, brushing your knuckles with his thumb. “I’m really glad you didn’t leave.”

“I’m really glad you asked me to stay.”

He said nothing in response, just held your hand tighter as his blue eyes bore into yours, as if he was reading the very depths of your soul.

The air hung thick with tension as the two of you stared at one another, leaning in closer and closer until your lips had no choice but to meet, his mouth firm, but gentle as it closed over yours.

It was soft and sweet and chaste, but when the two of you pulled back, you were both stammering and blushing like a couple of schoolchildren.

The stillness of the moment was broken a moment later when your friends shoved open the door and spilled out onto the back patio.

“There you are!” Renee exclaimed, hands on her hips as she did her best impression of your mother. “You had us scared half to death!”

“I told you she was fine,” Shawna insisted, rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘Sorry!’ to you.

“See? Nothing to be worried about,” Kelsey added. “She’s with…” She let her sentence trail off, shooting you a look to make quick introductions.

“Um, Bob! This is Bob,” you quickly supplied, squeezing his hand and shooting him an apologetic look.

“She’s with Bob!” Kelsey said, poking Renee in the side.

“Floyd, there you are! We were wondering where the hell you got off to,” Hangman said, joining your group and wrapping an arm around Renee’s waist.

“I guess they did notice we disappeared after all,” you whispered to Bob with a knowing smile.

“Of course we did!” Kelsey butted in, smiling when Rooster stepped up behind her and slipped his hand into hers.

“We were all going to head back to my place for a midnight swim,” Shawna explained, beaming up at Coyote. Your friend’s apartment complex was the only one that had a pool, and her landlord was cool enough to allow residents to use it whenever they wanted, so long as they were mindful of the noise. “Invite your friend!”

Your cheeks grew warm as everyone stared at you expectantly. “Um, Bob, would you like to come swimming with us?”

“I’d love to,” Bob grinned, his eyes fixed on you and only you.

Your friends clapped and cheered, which made your cheeks grow all the hotter.

“C’mon, let’s go close our tabs. Jake’s paying for the Ubers,” Renee smirked, patting the blonde’s chest as she gazed up at him.

“Aww, thanks, Jake,” Coyote grinned, smacking his friend on the shoulder as he and Shawna headed back inside.

“Owe you one, man,” Rooster nodded, leading Kelsey back into the bar.

“Hey, wait a second—”

“That’s what you get for losing two rounds of pool,” Renee teased, planting a kiss on his cheek before dragging him back inside.

Once you and Bob were left alone in the blessed silence once more, you looked at each other and couldn’t help but crack up laughing.

“I think your friends have really met their matches in my friends,” you told him playfully, gathering your things and rising from the picnic table.

“I think so,” Bob nodded, rising as well. “But I think I really met my match in you.”

Smiling, you slipped your hand into his and beamed up at him. “I couldn’t agree more.”

And as you walked out of The Hard Deck hand-in-hand with Bob, catching the victorious looks and playful winks your friends were shooting your way, you found yourself very grateful for all the times it had never worked out for you before this. Because you were certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bob Floyd had been worth waiting for.

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[doberbutts]

I’m kinda new to tumblr so idk if this is like, improper, but that recent shit about your folks sucking was rough. just like, to read. I can’t even imagine how hard it sucks to be there right now. but idk I wanted to shoot an anonymous ask and just be like “hey you’re gonna make it” which I know you already know but figured it would be nice to hear from someone else too, so. hang in there fellow trans person and fuck your family’s behavior

Oh I never did really fully explain what was happening did I?

My great aunt died on December 1 and it wasn't particularly unexpected (she was very old, and her husband died a few years ago on Dec 3) but it was quite sudden and without much warning. I drove to my parents' house to mourn and help with funeral arrangements and it was my first time visiting since right before covid and also since starting medical transition. I figured I'd be enduring a lot of misgendering and the like but wanted to be there for my aunt because I had a lot of wonderful memories of celebrating Christmas at her house with her and my uncle.

An assortment of little comments added up over the next 24 hours until my mother effectively called me stupid unprompted to my face as I drove her from my sister's house back to her own, because I'd said that my niece and nephew were quite smart and that wasn't an abnormality within our family. This is referring to my graduating at 16 and testing well into genius for my IQ, my sister winning several national awards for her poetry and essays, my adult nephew graduating at 17 and only because of an August birthday, both of my parents having masters degrees they earned on scholarships they were given due to their own strong writing, etc and now my niece is skipping a grade and my nephew is averaging well above his grade level and likely will skip a grade too. So I said something about being a family of smart kids and my mom more or less went "well one of my kids isn't very bright" and then looked hard at me.

I'm the only college drop out of my siblings, and with a worse gpa. It's also not the first time she's called me stupid but normally not in so many words or out of left field like that so it cut pretty deep especially considering all the other bs I'd been putting up with since arriving.

I voiced discomfort with what I had (correctly) assumed she meant as a joke, which turned into an argument, which made me have the realization that this is not my home and has not been my home in some time and in fact the reason my mental health improved rapidly when I left is because I got away from her and all of her nasty little comments she doesn't think are a big deal and now I'm having a panic attack and oh- this is a trauma response. I am back in the same house, the same bedroom, the same situation, and I am being triggered, and I am having a trauma freak out, and it has been a very long time since this place and these people have been anything but detrimental to me.

TO HER CREDIT she did come into my bedroom late that night and stated that she couldn't sleep because she felt awful because clearly she seriously misstepped and did not actually mean to hurt me this badly but at that point the damage was done. We talked it out and then we both cried ourselves to sleep in our respective bedrooms and then I woke up with covid the next day and drove the 5 hours back home so I could access healthcare in my state with my state insurance.

And I don't think I will ever go back there willingly, at least not to stay overnight. I'll come up with a reason that I have to stay at a hotel or something.

So anyway long story short the issue was relatively shortlived and I am now back to normal but WOW that was a BAD night. I have not had a night like that in a very long time.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Four sighed, taking a sip of his beer as he looked at the embers glowing and crackling in Time’s fire pit. “I hate seeing people in pain and not being able to do anything about it.”

Sky glanced at his friend, wondering where that statement came from. Nobody said anything for a moment, and then Legend piped up.

“Yet you chose to work in a surgical-trauma ICU where everyone is in pain all the time,” he quipped with a little playful smirk to take the edge of the sarcasm.

Warriors snickered, leaning back in his chair, beer bottle held lazily between his fingers. Sky almost laughed at the sight of it, recalling that he and Hyrule had been refilling the bottle with water after their friend’s first drink. The army nurse hadn’t commented on the matter.

“Oh shut up,” Four laughed as well. “I know I set myself up for this. But I… I wanted to help. And I wanted to do nursing that made me feel like I was thinking through puzzles and able to focus on as few patients as possible so I could really get into taking care of things. And I like the thrill of it. But…”

He trailed off a moment, looking around at the group relaxing by the fire pit. Twilight paused briefly in the act of throwing another log on the fire, glancing at Four, before finishing the action, sending sparks showering into the air briefly. Time and Malon watched Four quietly, bundled together under a plaid blanket, Malon’s head on Time’s shoulder. Warriors perked up from his slumped position, head tilting towards the ICU nurse while Legend’s playful smile faded. Wild and Wind paused from eating their s’mores to give Four their attention while Hyrule sat up from where he’d been laying in a burrito of blankets on the grass.

Sky watched Four try to ask what he wanted, and as much as he wanted to prompt his friend he knew to wait.

“Does it ever get better?” Four finally asked. “The compassion fatigue. I’ve only been in nursing a short while and I can already feel it. Am… am I done?”

Sky bit his tongue, remembering when he’d asked Legend a similar question. But Sky had been through a war and had been flying sick, injured, and dying patients for years now. Four was still a fairly new nurse, wasn’t he?

He supposed it didn’t matter. Everyone’s exposure and experience was different. Four very clearly was uneasy about this.

Warriors spoke up first, sitting up. “It comes and goes, buddy.”

“Sometimes you just have to stop and remember they’re people,” Legend added. “We… you know, when everyone’s worst day is your workday you have to shut it off. It’s not…”

“We have to protect ourselves,” Sky picked up for his dear friend. “We suffer when they suffer. But if you let it get to you then you can’t focus on helping them. You’re not a bad person for doing that. For…”

Well. Were they bad people for feeling nothing when their patients were in pain?

Honestly, Sky knew there wasn’t a single person in this group who felt absolutely nothing. They just redirected what they felt into something else. Dark jokes to make a bad situation funny, frustration to turn strong emotions into rambling with coworkers… they all felt it somehow.

But it did make it hard to remember who they were taking care of sometimes.

Sky was grateful he just flew his helicopter. He wasn’t sure he could tolerate much more exposure than that, honestly.

“I don’t know if it ever gets better,” Warriors finally said. “It’s kind of just something you learn to live with.”

“I’ve seen nurses who have all the compassion in the world,” Twilight noted. “But I also have no idea how they do it, honestly.”

“Oh, you mean like you, Mr Biggest Bleeding Heart in the Room?” Legend remarked. “I bet you’re everyone’s favorite CNA over there. I don’t know how the hell you deal with sick kids day in and out.”

“It’s a lot easier when you’re the tech walking in and out of the room instead of the nurse responsible for that kid’s life,” Twilight argued mildly. “I mean, I do get attached and I want to take care of all of them, but I’m also so spread out it makes encounters shorter. So like… I don’t know, not as much burnout I guess. Except for the chronic kids.”

“Well, techs make a hell of a difference,” Four noted. “I’d be so screwed without you guys.”

“Back to the point,” Twilight frowned, waving a dismissive hand. “I’m sure even the kindest nurses have moments when they just can’t let themselves get hurt anymore. You’re not a jerk for being worn out from constantly watching people suffer.”

“What’s important, love, is getting out and having moments like this,” Malon piped up. “You boys all tend to self isolate when you’re not working, and all that does is make work your entire life. Take time for yourself but go out in the world too. We’re all here for each other. That’s why we had this tonight.”

Four sighed a little, glancing down at the fire. Sky elbowed him teasingly, smiling. “Hey. You can’t be any worse than Legend.”

The travel nurse perked up, face flushing and eyes wide with irritation as Warriors wheezed. “HEY!”

Everyone started to laugh while Legend rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. But Sky knew it was just theatrics; after all, he and Legend had talked about this very thing a few weeks ago.

Healthcare broke people. They all knew that. But a little crack here and there could be supported, one person holding the other up. Sky wasn’t sure how long any of them could last in any one area, but he knew they’d try to make it work.

[olivia2arsenal]

Lia Walti x Williamson! Reader - Everton

a/n: did say my other fic would be out on sunday but life’s just got really hectic so here’s a smaller one while i finish up with the other one

warnings: none!

————————————

i’ve known wally since forever, her and my older sister, leah, have been best friends since i could remember

just like my sister i had worked my way through the age ranks at arsenal before eventually making my debut at 18

i played along side leah as the cb duo and learnt so much off my older sister

there is a massive gap in our age difference between us two but that’s never really been a problem and if anything made our friendship stronger

wally and i had been seeing each other, much to leah’s dismay, off and on for a few months a couple of years ago before i eventually found the nervous and asked her to be my girlfriend

that’s how we found ourselves here today in a two year relationship and happy as ever

“i’ve got a bad feeling about today” wally said as she came and sat herself in my cubby, myself just finishing getting ready to go out into the tunnel

i knocked my knee against hers

“you’ll be fine wally, what’s making you feel like that?” i asked softly as i slipped my match shirt on

“someone’s going to get injured today” she shook her head, i placed my hand into hers and nudged her chin to look at me

“if it’s really distracting you then tell jonas and i’m sure you can sit this one out” i said softly as she shook her head

“it’s too soon until the match kicks off, i’ll be fine” she said as she pushed herself up and out of my cubby, making her way to the changing rooms door

yet she was far from fine…

—————

i remember every single detail of the injury

we were in the second half, lotte and me as the centre backs because leah was out with an injury

everton were on the outskirts of the box when lia pushed out too apply pressure

i watched her get the ball and start to dribble before aggies went studs up into her ankles

i winced at the tackle, wally immediately collapsing to the floor and letting out a scream

i was still far back from eveyone and could see everything going on, i watched how lotte and katie push aggie while other shouted at her

i got it, if it was another day with a player that wasn’t so young i probably would have done the exact same thing

but this was different, aggie was still learning, she didn’t mean the tackle and clearly was inexperienced

i’ve played with aggie at england and she’s the nicest person ever, she didn’t purposely mean to hurt lia and was just eager to prove herself

i also knew that she was most likely going to receive a lot of hate on social media from this

of course the first thing i wanted to do was make sure lia was alright but i had to make sure aggie was okay and take her away from this situation

i pushed katie and lotte out of the way while also pushing the few others that were letting their anger be known from their words

they had every right to be mad, as a team we were already struggling with injuries and this was another one added to the list

i wrapped my arm around aggie’s shoulder

“come on” i said sofltly as i walked her away from the situation, i could see the tears building up in her eyes as we separated ourselves from the massive group near the box

“i didn’t mean to y/n” she shook her head as she bent down and covered her face

“ay i know aggie, i know” i said as i pulled her back up and pulled her into a hug

“it’s a learning experience okay, wally will be okay and the girls are just caught up in the moment” i reassured her as i felt her nod against my shoulder

“you’re eager to prove yourself, that’s it, you weren’t purposely going for her ankle okay” i added as one of her teammates walked over and smiled gratefully at me

i let her take over as i jogged back over to wally, now my whole attention was on her

“where the fuck have you been?” katie snapped as i bent down next to lia and held her hand, trying to get her to take some of the pain relief

“not the fucking time katie” i said sternly back as lia looked up at me, my face softening when i saw her looking for reassurance in my eyes

“we will get through this together love” i said softly as i brushed some hair out of her face

“lia we are going to have to put you on a stretcher” the physio said as they started to move her onto the stretcher, wally wincing as they did

eventually they lifted her up on the stretcher and started to walk her to the tunnel, fans clapping for wally

aggie received a red card, as expected, and started to make her way to the tunnel- head down clearly still upset from it all

i patted her on the back as she passed me before the match continued, now having to fight the mental battle of wanting to go and see lia

————

i burst into the medical room where wally was, her eyes shooting up to mine and face softening once she saw it was me

“careful you’ll take the door of its hinges” she teased as i made my way over to her, eyes never leaving her ankle

“fuck wally” i muttered as she placed her hand under my chin and moved my eyes to hers

“i’ll be fine” she said softly as there was a knock on the door, both of us turning to the door

“hey, is it okay if i come in?” aggie asked as she popped her head into the room

“of course” wally smiled softly at her

“i just wanted to say sorry, i really never meant to hurt you” aggie apologised as she walked over

“i know you didn’t, i know you eager to prove yourself that’s all” lia reassured her softly

“that’s exactly what y/n said to me” aggie laughed slightly

“great minds thing alike” wally teased

“well i’ll leave you two alone, i just wanted to say sorry” aggie said while wally nodded with a soft smile

i walked aggie to the door, patting her on the shoulder and praising her for how mature she had been with the whole thing

i turned back around once she left and made my way back to wally, finding her hand with mine as we talked- trying to distract ourselves from her injury

“i’m proud of what you did today” wally said softly to me as i gave her a puzzled look

“instead of doing what the rest of the girls did, you looked after aggie and made sure she was okay before you came to me” wally said as she squeezed my hand gently

“i was once in her shoes, having done the exact same thing with the exact same reactions from the other players and it didn’t feel nice at all” i said shaking my head at the memory of when i was younger only just starting my professional career

we could only hope the hate aggie received online was going to be small…

—————————————

a/n: hope you all liked this, it was short but just wanted to get something out quickly!

[lurkingshan]

Another week, another struggle to wrangle my complicated thoughts about this beautiful show. In a way it feels fitting that we ended up watching and discussing this at a time when there was just so much happening around us in the real world that we are struggling to cope with. This story is, after all, mostly a meditation on grief and failure and finding small bits of hope among some truly bleak realities.

I've been thinking a lot this week about the pretty significant changes to this part of the story in the TV adaptation. This part departed the most from the novel, which makes sense since in the novel it was largely Young sitting in quiet introspection about his choices and regrets and where things went wrong. Not only was it emotionally dense, it was very interior in nature, necessitating some changes for the screen. Back when I first read it, I found hope in the fact that Young was finally processing his emotions rather than hiding from them despite the gut wrenching nature of this thoughts. The TV version doubled down on that bit of hope and amplified it.

The inclusion of the T-aras throughout continues to be the most consequential change to this story, and this week went even further in giving one of them, Eun Su, his own story. I've noodled quite a bit on Sang Young Park's purpose in adding this subplot about Eun Su's doomed engagement (and many indicators of his general disdain for marriage as a means to find happiness and security). The best interpretation I can offer is that, given the overall message in these final episodes that we can only find hope and true happiness by living wholly as ourselves, he wanted a parallel story that was about getting out of a relationship alongside Yeong wanting to be in one, to make it clear that his message is not about romance fixing anyone.

I also really enjoyed the Eun Su plot for keying into a very real dynamic of long term friendship group dynamics: those times when you suddenly grow closer to one person in your friend group because you are having a similar experience, or because you're the only ones in the group who can empathize with each other about a specific situation. Eun Su knew that among his friends, Yeong was the one who would understand his unhappiness in this relationship and not judge him for it, and for this period of time, their shared discontent and regrets brought them closer.

The way this thread came together with Yeong's regrets over Gyu-ho to prompt his reflections on what went wrong worked really well, and I liked the choice to end the show on a more explicitly hopeful note than the novel, as it felt fitting for its lighter tone throughout. Instead of leaving Yeong on a moment of deep regret as he thinks back to the lantern with Gyu-ho's name on it falling from the sky (Gyu-ho. My only wish.), we end with him celebrating with his friends on a rooftop, gazing up at fireworks in the sky, thinking of Gyu-ho with sadness but also naming his enduring wish for love with a smile.

[valwrites-stuff]

Festive fumbles

You and Jason decorate for Christmas and end up making love on the floor in front of the christmas tree.

Jason Newsted x Reader ☆ Smut

It was the first week of December when Jason and I decided it was time to get our christmas tree. We headed to a local tree farm and spent almost an hour searching for the perfect one. Finally, we found it, a tall, full tree that would look great in our living room.

With my help, Jason attached the tree on top of the car and secured it safely for transport before we drove it home. Once we got it inside, Jason set it up in the stand, while I gathered the decorations. We had boxes full of ornaments, lights, and other christmas decor that we had collected over the years.

As Jason left me to start decorating the tree, while he went out to walk the dog, I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement. Christmas was my favorite time of the year, and I loved the way our house looked when it was filled with holiday cheer.

The smell of fresh pine, the twinkling lights, and the cozy warmth of the fireplace all combined to create a magical atmosphere that always made me feel like a kid again.

I even convinced Jason to get matching christmas sweaters with me, just for fun. Looking down at myself wearing it, I smiled bemusedly at the hideous print.

Chuckling to myself, I started to open the boxes filled with lots of decor, pulling out the green pine garland first, sprawling it on the floor chaotically.

I began to untangle the fairy lights before neatly wrapping them around the tree.

The soft glow of the lights danced across the branches, casting a magical spell over the room.

As I continued to decorate, the room began to transform before my eyes. The tree, once bare, was now a vibrant and glittery centerpiece and I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction.

The lights twinkled and the ornaments sparkled, creating a magical atmosphere in our home. I couldn't wait for Jason to come back and see the result.

Deciding there was a finishing touch needed, I stepped onto a chair, that was kind of wobbly and tried adding a star on top without falling and tearing down the whole tree, determined to make it work.

Just as I managed to secure the star, I heard the front door open. Jason was back, and his voice echoed through the house as he called out. "Hey, I’m back!"

I turned my head to greet him, and in that moment, the chair wobbled beneath me. My heart raced as I felt myself losing balance, my feet slipping off the edge.

I reflexively tried to steady myself, but it was too late. I was about to fall, but before I could crash to the ground, I felt strong arms wrap around me. Jason had seen me stumble and rushed to my side, catching me midair.

His quick reflexes saved me from a painful landing, but in his haste, he slipped on the pine garland that lay scattered on the floor.

We both tumbled to the ground, landing with a thud. Jason landed on his bum, and I landed right on top of him. For a moment, we were a tangled mess of limbs, both of us letting out a groan of pain.

As I stared down at an aching Jason with me on top, I couldn’t help but laugh, and his deep, warm laugh joined mine, filling the room with a sense of humor added to the shock of my actions.

"Are you okay?" Jason asked, his eyes filled with concern, but his smile gave away his amusement.

"Uh, I think so," I replied, trying to catch my breath. "But I might have broken something. Like, you?"

Jason grimaced as he tried to move his arms and legs to check for any injuries and, thankfully, everything seemed to move without much discomfort.

"Yeah, I'm alright. But I'm pretty sure my behind won't be forgiving me anytime soon." He chuckled, still attempting to process the situation we found ourselves in.

"I'm so sorry, honey. I should have been more careful." I spoke apologetically, reaching out to straighten his glasses, not realizing that I was full on straddling him.

As my hands came up to adjust his glasses, Jason couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of me on top of him. Knowing there could be worse positions to find ourselves in. "Well that's one way to get you on top of me, isn't it?"

His playful remark sent a flutter through my chest as I realized just how close I was to him. The warmth radiating from his body seeped into mine, my hands lingering on his face, fingers brushing against his stubble as I fixed his pair of lenses.

"I suppose, I should thank you for catching me, although this was totally unintentional." I said with a nervous laugh, trying to break the sudden tension.

Jason's gaze dropped to my lips as he slowly reached up to cup my cheek, thumb stroking over my skin ever so gently. "I'd do anything to keep you safe, especially if it means landing in a heap on the floor together."

I chuckled before Jason leaned in to brush his nose against mine, making me feel all warm and tingly all of a sudden as he held onto my waist.

I found myself leaning in instinctively, drawn to the warmth emanating from his body like a magnet. Our noses brushed again, this time more deliberately, as if savoring the sensation.

His breath tickled your skin and the air between you felt heavy with desire, the room around fading into insignificance as Jason closed the remaining distance, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss.

I melted against him, enjoying the moment as I moved my lips against his. A hand came to rest on my neck, holding me close as he deepened the kiss, while the other traced over my figure lovingly as we sat in the midst of pine garland scattered all over the carpeted floor.

I could feel Jason smile into the kiss, his fingers tenderly running through my hair before he pulled back with a snicker, studying my face with an affectionate gaze, making me blush heavily. "What?"

His hand slid back onto my waist, as he kept staring at me admiringly. "That sweater is atrocious, but you look adorable in it..."

I let out a huff, my face reddening as I gave his arm a smack. "Shut up. Christmas sweaters are... cute." I was about to say more, but I found myself being distracted by the way his fingers found their way to the hem of the knit piece, causing a slight shiver as they brushed against me.

"Apart from that sweater you're wearing, do you know what else would look good on you? My hands, all over you."

My face turned even hotter at his words, though they made arousal curl through me, making me want him even more. "Oh yeah? You think so?"

I moved closer, my hands running up to rest on his chest, the thought of his muscles under the fluffy material making me bite my lip. "You're going to make me go on Santa's naughty list?"

Jason smirked, his hands trailing down to my ass and squeezing before he teased. "You mean you aren't already on the naughty list?"

A smug smile appeared on my features as I adjusted my position in his lap, feeling the soft bulge underneath me. I reached out to caress the side of his face before gently taking off his glasses as he kept his eyes focused on mine.

As soon as Jason's glasses were off, his intense blue gaze locked onto mine, filled with lust and adoration. He leaned in, capturing those plush lips once more in a searing kiss that left me breathless.

One of Jason's hands slid beneath my sweater, fingers skimming across my heated skin. His touch sent shivers down my spine as he gently cupped my breast.

"You have no idea how much I want you right now," Jason mumbled against my lips, his words dripping with desire.

Breaking the kiss with a gasp, I reached for the hem of my sweater to pull it over my head, revealing a matching red bra.

Jason's pupils dilated as he took in the sight of my lacy red bra against my creamy skin and ran his hands all over me, getting hard in his pants before unzipping and pulling the jeans off my hips and sliding them down my legs.

Stepping out of the garment and throwing it aside, I got back into his lap and straddled him. His hand immediately wandered to my ass, to caress the newly exposed skin parted by a red thong, before his fingers started to dance over the damp spot between my legs.

My breath hitched as Jason's fingers brushed against my slick folds through the thin fabric of my panties. "You're so wet already," he murmured, his voice low and husky with desire.

His thumb rubbed slow circles over my clit, sending shivers down my spine. "Tell me how much you want this, baby."

"Oh I need you so bad." I breathed as I gave in to the soft sensation of his fingers, rubbing me through my panties, soon pulling the material aside to run them through my wet folds, circling the entrance.

Lost in arousal and pleasure, my hand dove between our bodies to gently palm Jason through his pants, before fidgeting with the button to get it open, sliding my hand in, eager to touch and feel.

Jason groaned softly as my skilled fingers found their way inside his pants, seeking the hardness straining for release. As I fondled him inside the fabric, he returned the favor, pushing two long fingers into my dripping channel. He curled them slightly, rubbing that sensitive spot within that made my toes curl and sent sparks of pleasure through my nerves.

A moan escaped my lips as he fingered me delightfully. I stroked his velvety flesh faster, his lips crashing onto mine once more, kissing me passionately, tongues entwining. As my pliant whimpers increased, Jason pulled his digits out of me, leaving me longing for more, my fingers sloppily stroking him.

He quickly undressed from his sweater and grabbed my wrist to withdraw my hand from inside his pants. He grasped onto my thighs and gently pushed me off only to climb on top of me as he shimmied out of the rest of his clothes hurriedly.

Jason loomed over me, nude and radiant under the dim lighting, his muscular physique rippling as he positioned himself between my spread thighs. He took a moment to drink in the sight of me, flushed cheeks, heaving chest, and a look of raw desire in my eyes.

Cupping my face in his large hands, he leaned down to capture my lips again in a deep, hungry kiss. His cock, now free and pulsing with arousal, brushed against my thigh.

Releasing my mouth, he trailed kisses along my jawline, nipping and sucking gently at the skin beneath my earlobe, before whispering hotly, "So beautiful, I need that sweet cunt of yours."

I shivered in anticipation and with a swift, smooth motion, he lined himself up and sunk into my warmth with a satisfied grunt.

Jason's hips began rocking slowly against mine, my arms wrapped around his neck as breathy moans fell from my lips. Capturing my lips in a kiss, his thrusts continued at their pace while my cunt fluttered around him.

The movements became more deliberate, each thrust driving deeper into my welcoming heat. The room filled with the sounds of our mingled moans and the rhythmic slap of skin against skin. My nails dug into his shoulders as I clung to him, lost in the intensity of the moment.

Breaking the kiss, he gazed down at me, his eyes dark with lust. "Look at us...so perfect together," he growled, punctuating his words with a particularly hard stroke.

As he continued to piston in and out of me, his hand snaked down to circle my clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to send shockwaves of pleasure coursing through my body.

The coil of tension within me, wound tighter with each passing second, threatening to snap at any moment. "Oh god, Jason! Don't stop..." I whined, addicted to the way he made me feel.

“You sound so damn pretty moaning my name, baby." He whispered into my ear, holding onto my hips to move faster before feeling me clench around him, gasping before coming undone with a loud moan as my body arched and shook.

With a strained groan, Jason buried his face in the crook of my neck, his hot breath tickling my skin as he struggled to maintain control. But the relentless grip of my quivering flesh proved too much, and with one final, powerful thrust, he succumbed to the inevitable.

A low, guttural moan escaped him as he spilled himself deep inside of me, his seed coating my cervix in waves of heated release.

For a few moments, we both remained locked together, savoring the aftermath of our passionate union before he pulled out and moved to lay next to me on his back, the green garland tickling his skin as his breathing evened out. "Decorating for christmas sure took an interesting turn."

"It sure did, but I wouldn't want to have it any other way. Plus, I think I did a pretty good job on the tree, don't you think?" I spoke as I looked at the tree with a satisfied grin.

Jason turned his head to focus on his surroundings, as he pulled me close, staring at the glimmering christmas tree. "It looks beautiful indeed, but you're far more appealing to me than any tree could ever be."

My heart skipped a beat as his words washed over me, filling me with a sense of love and belonging. In that moment, surrounded by the magic of Christmas, I knew that this was where I was meant to be, in Jason's arms, surrounded by the beauty and wonder of the season.

[chaos-chloe]

Not Clooless Anymore

Summary: Fairly Clooless part2

TW: Cute moments, flirting, lmk if i missed anything

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue over the Texas landscape, painting the Texas sky with brilliant shades of orange and purple. I stepped out of my car, feeling the warm evening air kiss my toasty skin. I stood outside the familiar neon lights of Waffle House, a sense of excitement bubbling within my body. The day had been filled with the delightful chaos of the Texas fair—blaring music, the intoxicating aroma, and rides that twisted and turned like my own thoughts and insecurities.

The Texas fair had been a whirlwind of laughter, cotton candy, and the thrilling rush of adrenaline, but now, the promise of crispy waffles, cheesy hash browns, and the company oF the boys made my heart flutter in anticipation.

I checked my phone, squinting in the twilight to see if the others were here. It wasn’t long before I spotted Droid’s unmistakable truck rolling into the parking lot, followed closely by Puffer and Grizzy in their flashy Sedans. And then, like a flash of dark thunder, Pezzy roared into view on his sleek black motorcycle, the engine’s purr blending in with the fading sounds of the fair.

"Hey, ___!" Grizzy shouted as he bounded over from his car, excitement practically radiating from him like the setting sun behind them. He wore his trademark grin, one that always made situations feel a little brighter.

“____! Over here!” Droid called, tossing her a casual wave as he parked his truck. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of the boys, my grin widening as they hopped out of their cars, laughter spilling out into the cooling evening air.

“Did anyone win a stuffed animal?” I asked, turning to see Droid, who was carrying a massive teddy bear tucked under his arm. I also noticed a big push toy poking out from the backseat of Grizzy’s car. “Grizzy! Did you get the giant stuffed bear?” I asked teasing with a gentle smile

“Uh, yeah. That’s a trophy for winning at life,” he replied with a playful smirk. “Meet Mr. Snuggly and I have a gift for you in the back of my car.” Droid winked at me

“Nah, I went for the goldfish instead!” he laughed, knowing full well that it was just a way to mess with me. Knowing Grizzy, he’d surely end up with a life-sized inflatable T-Rex instead.

“Didn’t think you’d show up!” Puffer teased as he approached me first, giving me a quick hug before making room for the others.

Droid approached, his casual stride and laid-back charm eliciting a warm sense of familiarity in my bones that felt like home. He ruffled my hair as he passed by, a brotherly gesture that inevitably made me roll my ___ eyes. “Thought I’d find you guys here. Ready to drown ourselves in waffles?” 

“Please, like I could resist waffles after a long day of overpriced snacks and rides! Plus, I have to stay fuelled for our late-night shenanigans after the stunts I pulled tonight!” I Laughed, my spirits higher than ever tonight.

“I know exactly what you mean. I still feel sick from that funnel cake!” Grizzy added dramatically, placing a hand on his stomach as he leaned against the wall of the diner. “But nothing a plate of hash browns can’t fix, right?”

Droid and Puffer exchanged knowing glances, always amused by their friend’s antics. And as Pezzy strolled over, kicking his kickstand down with a flourish, I felt a flutter in my chest that I couldn’t quite explain.

“Did you guys see the fireworks?” Pezzy chimed in, a little more quietly than the others, his gaze quickly flitting back to mine, a fleeting connection that made my stomach flutter, but I brushed it off. 'It’s just post-fair magic,’ I thought, trying not to read too much into it. 

“Yeah, they were incredible! But honestly, now I just want to eat pancakes until I explode,” Puffer quipped, slapping Grizzy on the back as they made their way toward the entrance.

“Hey, ____,” Pezzy said, flashing me a bright smile that sent butterflies dancing through my stomach. “You ready for some real food? I actually have a craving for that Texas cheesesteak omelet, but I can be persuaded for anything covered in syrup.”

“Totally! I’m with you on that one,” Ireplied, unable to contain her enthusiasm. “Waffles topped with ice cream—now that’s a Texas masterpiece.”

As they entered Waffle House, the warm scent enveloped them. The air was permeated with the irresistible smell of butter and syrup, a scent that was so deeply woven into their memories of late-night adventures and shared laughter.The interior was filled with the comforting chatter of other late-night diners and the sizzle of food cooking on the grill. 

They slid into a booth they chose was cozy—wooden and a bit worn-in, the kind of place that felt like home. ___ slid into the middle seat, Droid to her left, and Pezzy to her right, the perfect configuration for subtle glances and stolen moments, the latter of whom took a deep breath as he subtly nudged closer to her. Grizzy and Puffer settled opposite them, already debating their orders in playful retorts.

“Okay, what's everyone ordering?” ___ asked, tone bubbly as she flipped through the laminated menu, pretending not to notice Pezzy’s growing nervousness.

Pezzy took a deep breath as he watched ___, a flicker of hope sparking in his chest. He’d never had the courage to tell her about his crush, but every casual remark felt layered with an unspoken affection that he wanted to express. He fiddled with his menu, glancing back at her, nervously biting his lip. 

“Definitely the hash browns—it’s the best way to start,”Grizzy declared, and the group followed suit, their laughter echoing around the diner as they decided on their meals.

“Why not try the All-Star Special?” Pezzy suggested, leaning a bit closer as he flashed her another dazzling smile. “You can get everything—waffles, eggs, bacon, and still have room for more!”

“Same!” Puffer joined in. “But I’m adding extra bacon. Gotta live large after all those funnel cakes.”

“___! What are you getting?” he blurted out, desperately trying to sound casual.

“I think I might go with the classic waffle, loaded with strawberries,” she grinned, unaware of the fluttering competition swirling around in Pezzy's stomach. 

“Those berries will definitely sweeten up your already sweet personality,” Pezzy said, attempting to keep his tone light but feeling his cheeks slightly heat up. ___ felt her cheeks warm under his gaze. “You have a point! I think I’ll take you up on that,” she replied, her heart racing in ways it hadn’t before.

“Alright, alright,” Droid interjected, breaking Pezzy's moment of hesitance with a calm, brotherly energy. “Let’s order before it gets too crowded in here.” The waitress approached, and as they squabble about orders, Pezzy felt his heart race while stealing glances at ___'s animated expressions.

“Alright, who’s ordering first?” Puffer asked, leaning dramatically over the table like a showman.

As the waiter approached to take their order, ___ felt Pezzy’s slight tension radiating next to her. She could almost feel his thoughts swirling; she glanced at him just as he took a deep breath, his eyes almost playful yet glazed with determination.

“Uh, I’ll also have the All-Star Special, but can you add a side of, um,” he fumbled, his cheeks slightly pinking, “a side of your heart?” 

Puffer almost choked on his drink, and Droid smirked, shaking his head. “Smooth, Pezzy, real smooth.”

___ couldn’t help but laugh, the warmth spreading through her again as she met Pezzy’s gaze. “Clever. But maybe let’s stick to just waffles for now?”

The table erupted with laughter, the sound of friendship filling the air as they made fun of Pezzy’s attempt—a lighthearted bond wrapped in unadulterated joy.

With their orders placed and the waitress retreating, the table erupted into a flurry of conversations, stories, and laughter. Grizzy and Puffer continued their playful banter, while Droid and ___shared fond memories of their previous discord hangouts. As they waited for their food, the chatter flowed as freely as the sweet syrup they’d soon douse their waffles in. Stories of fair rides, a debate on who could eat the most hash browns, and endless laughter echoed within the little booth. ___ caught Droid rolling his eyes, while Grizzy animatedly recreated the fair's biggest ride. 

And then there was Pezzy, who seemed lost in the moment, glancing at ___ with a goofy smile. He was trying so hard not to come off as nervous that it was endearing. 

As their orders arrived, the table transformed into a feast of colors and aromas. The sight of sizzling waffles, golden-brown hash browns, and fluffy omelets was enough to summon quickened appetites.

“Girls first!” Puffer declared, gesturing dramatically towards ___ and Grizzy. “Let’s see how fast you can demolish that plate!”

“Challenge accepted!” ___ grinned back as Pezzy chuckled beside her, the energy of the room buzzing with laughter and chatter.

As they dived into their meals, ___ caught Pezzy stealing glances her way. Every time she met his gaze, they shared unspoken moments of connection—a tentative dance of burgeoning feelings that neither of them dared to voice

“Hey, ____,” Pezzy finally said, his voice breaking through the noise. “You’ve been doing really well in school. I mean, I've always thought you were pretty amazing, like, really driven.”

“Thanks, Pezzy! That means a lot coming from you,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with genuine warmth.

“Let’s make a pact,” Droid said, forcing the mood to shift. “Next time we hit the fair, we’ll take our own car, and anyone who loses at the games pays for the next Waffle House trip!”

“Deal!” they all cheered, the lighthearted banter continuing late into the evening, making plans for the next fun night together.

“Cheers to fair days and waffle nights!” Droid raised his mug of iced tea, and the others followed suit, all clinking their drinks together.

“Here’s to late night shenanigans!” ____ added with a laugh, glancing over at Pezzy, who looked more relaxed now, joy blooming behind his eyes.

“Next year, we should try the Ferris wheel together. Just us,” he suggested, his voice softening as he glanced away, a hint of shyness creeping into his tone.

“You’re on!” ____ replied, heart racing with the implications of his words. The night felt electric, filled with chances and possibilities, their friendship slowly unfolding into something more beautiful.

As midnight crept closer, they finished their meals with promises of more adventures, laughter still alive in the air like the smell of waffles and syrup. The friendships lingered, intertwined with new beginnings, with warm friendship and the exhilarating thrill of something deeper brewing just beneath the surface.

So as they stepped back out into the starry Texas night, ___ felt grateful for the journey they all shared, knowing the sun might set on one adventure, but it always rose on another—with the possibility of newfound connections, tender moments, and, of course, more late-night Waffle House escapades.

[bunny-j3st3r]

The situation revolving around Frost-can-bite

I'm not the type of person to make a call out but the actions taken by this indvidual and just how far they went to keep up this facade can not be looked over.

This is more of a warning for anyone who may ever have the pleasure of interacting with them in the future.

Under cut is the explanation

EDIT: I don't want to bring attention to this situation by reblogging this and adding on things to it, so it feels easier to edit with additional info that has come to light.

I do not want them chased offline, do not harass them either this is to only bring awareness so people, adults specifically can block them.

They did things to me and my friends that was fucked up and it is only recently we have realized things they did was uncalled for.

Please just approach them with caution, they still are allowed to have a space here but not within adult spaces.

I was told by someone that they had remade these two accounts are what we know off, I have blocked both of these accounts as well as ppl who were affected by him.

If you are in the smile for me fandom and see them trying to engage with adult content just block them and move on.

around three months ago I made a TADC server for adults only, it was a public server made by me and a friend as a space for adults as many current discord servers cater to minors and adults, I was aware of lot of adults felt like they didn't have a space for themselves.

In enters Frost.

Frost at the time had told us they were 19, even providing ID evidence so of course we weren't going to question it, we trusted them.

Over the past few months many of me and my friends became inceadbly close to Frost, we discussed parts of ourselves to them that we've never really shared.

Frost was even the first person I opened up about just how bad my mental illnesses are, we dicussed nsfw topics with them, we had drawn nsfw with them and even provided them nsfw art and fics.

In those few months we all cared for Frost so much that we considered them a close friend to everyone, I had even had plans to ask them to mod the TADC server with me as I had just had that much trust and faith in them.

And then a few days ago the news all came stumbling out.

A situation arose and out of nowhere Frost told me they were in fact not 19, that they had gone far enough to photoshop there own ID just so they could gain our trust. They were 15.

They were 15 pretending to be 19 in an adult server so they could see nsfw content.

Not only that but many other adults had jokingly sexually flirted with Frost and they had flirted back, as we assumed of course they were 19.

I didn't know how to respond, I just didn't believe it at first and I was dissocitating as I began to inform my friends. It felt like I wasn't even there, that I was looking at someone in a dream and that I was going to wake up and tell Frost about the very silly dream I had, and I kinda still feel like that now.

Not only did they lie about there age but they also tried to implicate two people that I will not name in there actions. Only when I caught them in that lie did they admit to not telling the truth and that these two people had nothing to do with it.

I'm not sure what there thought process for that was, I don't know if they were trying to drag them down with them or what?

Many of us still feel very numb and I can't speak for everyone but I know my trust has been completely and utterly shattered that I don't know if I will be willing to accept people outside of my social circle for a very long time.

I'm making this post because Frost decided to delete all of there socials, including discord informing me and only me they were deleting.

So after I tore through them I made sure everyone else got there say in before Frost tried to run away with there tail between there legs.

They don't seem to be fully aware what there actions have done, all they get away with is running away and knowing people are angry at him, while the rest of us have to deal with these lingering and disgusting feelings we've been left with.

For three months, he could of at any time admitted the truth, but he continued to engage in nsfw content, even engaging in conversation about why minors should not be in adult spaces.

The disgust and the hurt I feel over this is just... I don't even know, I've never felt so angry and violated before and that's saying something.

Although they have deleted I'm making this post as awareness.

We think that Frost may decided to try and come back once they think the heat has died down under a new account and I am posting this as a warning to any adults with adult fandom servers to PLEASE be aware of this person in case they decide once again to lie to worm there way into spaces they don't belong.

We have been violated and our trust broken and we've been made to feel like groomers because Frost wanted to see porn.

I will be posting this as a link in my pinned post.

So Frost if you are seeing this, I don't care how sorry you are, what you fucking did was unforgivable and I refuse to let you do that to another group of people.

We think Frost may reappear under any username with either the word Frost or Berry in it.

Frost also does not like to reblog a lot but they do like to mass like posts (not sure how helpful it is but you know.)

Frost also has a very distinct style that can be caught out easily if you think they are trying to get into an adult space.

I will post an example below.

Frost's white board style.

As you can see they have a very distinct art style and the same for there regular art

PLEASE

PLEASE be aware of these styles or names they might be under, please do not allow yourself to build up a close connection like we did.

Frost I don't think I can ever forgive you, I wish I had never met you and the only good thing that fucking came out of you was that I made friends with someone amazing and you absolutely do not deserve them.

I hope for your fucking sake we never see you again.

Edit: I am still mad at them, I still don't want them near me or my friends.

They can have there space online still, they can do whatever the fuck they want but they need to leave adult spaces alone.

Frost if your poking around on another account, seek help, please get acutal help.

I am not saying this in a mean way I am saying this in a hopes you realize how you treat all of us was fucked up and you can learn and maybe not treat your friends the same way you did to us.

[fleet-of-fiction]

My Truth

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi...

My name is Lucie. You might remember me from my old blog, lightmylove-gvf. It started out as a really fun, wholesome space. Full of love and laughter. I shared pictures and gif sets and works of fiction. Made so many wonderful connections with many different people. It really was a wonderful place to be. Until it wasn't. And although I've tried my best to step away from certain controversies, it seems that people still have an issue with me and still have my name in their mouth. So I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe move past some untruths and you can all make informed decisions on whether you'd like to continue following me here on my current blog. Which is also a place of peace and love, I might add. And always has been.

Anyway, read on if you'd like. And if not, that's ok too.

I think it's fair to say that I've always been one of the more "controversial" writers around here. I have never shied away from difficult storytelling, and I never will. But what started out as a completely separate issue quickly snowballed into what could only be described as a personal vendetta.

I'm happy to discuss anything within my writing that might be of issue to a reader. A particular blog took offence to a scene I had written in a chapter of my fic, Backstage. I happened to disagree with this blog, and I tried my best to let them know whilst I understood their stance I did not agree with their point of view. I took this opinion to a discord server I was part of along with several other blogs here to see if they could shed more light on the issue.

The scene in question involved a fictionalised version of Josh and the reader in bed. They had gone to bed together with the full narrative of the reader known. How she was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. They had been growing close. And Josh began to touch reader as they slept side by side. We get an insight into the readers thoughts during this moment, and they are very much with consent and enjoying the experience. It's meant to be a nod to what is to come. That their bodies are in tune with each other, even if their words are yet to speak of it. I think a lot of experiences in life play out like that. Where we don't always know what to say, but find ourselves in situations where our bodies can do the talking. Anyway, I digress...

There was a lot of opinions flying around in the server. Some were in favour of my opinion, others opposed it and were in favour of the anon who had sent me alot of hateful messages regarding their view that this scene was nothing more than sexual harassment. I explained in the server that I myself had been the victim of sexual assault/harassment. That I knew what it felt like to get into bed with someone I thought that I could trust only to have them break that trust in the most heinous way. I tried to explain that I didn't think this particular scene was that.

One sentence that I said was screenshotted and shared around with absolutely zero context to it and nothing of the rest of the conversation added to the screenshot. Just one sentence that I'd said which pertained to saying that I agreed that people should be able to get in bed with others and have full rights to their own bodies. I was AGREEING with that. It's there in black and white. But the narrative was skewed by people who didn't want to understand me. I tried to explain about how my personal experiences often lied within power imbalances when it came to things like S/H. But in the end, they gave me no chance to explain myself properly. They didn't want to. They'd seen and heard enough and made up their mind.

But it didn't stop there. People who I thought were my friends blocked me. Told me I was disgusting. Told me I was playing the victim. Because I didn't issue a grovelling apology. But how could I? I wasn't sorry. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd poured my heart out to them about my trauma and abuse and how in my own experience I didn't view it as the same as what I'd written. I'd put trigger warnings. I'd made sure people had the right to information before proceeding!

I had blogs who had never interacted with me block me. Call me disgusting. Tell me fuck myself. I had anons telling me to kill myself. Anons telling me that I was a rapist and...for some reason...a peadophile sympathiser? I didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. I literally wrote two consenting adults touching each other in a bed they'd both gotten into...consentingly.... with very obvious (although unspoken at that point) feelings for each other. But now, that wasn't the issue. The issue was my own personal feelings on sexual harassment.

I'm the first to admit that I am perhaps not an easily digestable person to some. But I know that I am kind. I know that I have spent hours proof reading and editing fics for other writers on here because they asked for my help. I've supported people though personal issues, and I've championed the work of other writers because I truly believed that this space was a wonderful space for creativity. I still do, to some degree. I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can be a little head strong when it comes to protecting people's rights to free speech. I understand that I'm not palatable as a person to people who don't agree that the freedom to write should come with the freedom to write anything.

To those of you who never ever spoke to me and are still sharing things about me with the hash tag #fuck you lucie.... to you I say why have you jumped on that bandwagon? You do not know me. You know only what you've heard from people who were intent on pushing a narrative that was their own. Not mine. You don't know that these people were once my friends. And they shared my work and enjoyed it as I enjoyed theirs. They told me things about themselves and I was happy to know them. These people who then decided I was a terrible human being. Based on one thing I said that was taken completely out of context. It's almost as if they have shared it so many times now with their own backstory that it's a canon truth. I'm the worst human to ever walk the earth. Forget about all the good things I did for you. I'm scum.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking boo hoo what a victim complex. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a victim complex. Like everyone else here I have mental health problems and I'm on the spectrum. I have trauma. As part of my adhd I have rejection sensitivity which means when I'm cornered I tend to fight back with justifications as to why I behaved the way I did. I guess that's what I'm doing now. Trying to explain myself. Again. Although what good it'll do, I dont know. And I think right now, it no longer matters.

And yet I still see that I'm being talked about. I'm still getting accused of sending anons to other blogs when I was literally just existing here in my peaceful little corner, everyone who had ever taken issue with me blocked or unfollowed. I didn't know what was going on over there, I was trying to just enjoy reading and writing. My anxiety could never cope with sending a hateful anon, I know there's ways of finding out where they come from and revealing the blogs who send them and it's like that story we're all told about peeing in the pool and turning the water a different colour. I don't fuck with that shit.

If, for any particular reason, I've ever hurt anyone here to them I do issue a heartfelt apology because it has never been and never will be my intention. I said some awful things in the heat of the moment when I was receiving alot of hate and death threats regarding the AI edit a friend of mine made with audio from one of my fics. I was under so much pressure. I wanted it all to just stop. I just wanted everyone to be able to enjoy whatever made them happy. I am sorry for the things I said during that time. Im a human being. I am flawed. However..

I do not believe that people lose their rights to their body the minute they climb into bed with someone. And that's precisely what I say in the infamous screenshot. I just hope for anyone who has seen it that they now understand that it was said with love and understanding and support. I would never disregard anyones trauma or triggers. Never. And that is why I believe in giving people all the information they require before consuming media and art.

With all this said, I sincerely hope that it's clear that all I want to do is write. It's all ive ever done and all I will ever really be any good at doing. I'm proud of the fics I've put out here on my old blog and this one too. I don't care about how many notes they get, just that one or two people read it and enjoy it. And I hope you all know that I'm a nice person, too. So are a lot of blogs who have been villainised recently. This witch hunt has got to stop. We have got to start listening to each other with peace and understanding and not jump to conclusions. Not make people out to be something they simply aren't.

I want to curate a loving space here. A safe and nurturing space for anyone to feel free within. I want people to know they can jump in my asks and know that I will love them. I want everyone, of every race and every gender and ever creed of this world to know they are welcome and accepted here. Like a wise man that we all know and love once said. I'm not the person they say I am. I never was. And I think some of them know that. It is my greatest hope that any of you who wish to stick around get to know me for yourselves.

It is my greatest wish that those blogs who are still spouting hate about me really grow and heal. Or even better, pop on over and get to know me? I think it's important to understand why you might hate someone and not just from unreliable sources. If you think that I am some sort of s/a supporter who revels in writing that sort of thing then I'd be glad to dispel that myth.

I'm not going to speak on this again because I feel that I've moved on. This blog is my creative outlet and always will be. And as I've stated above its a safe and loving space for all. I'm reclaiming the fun. And hopefully some of you will stick around for it. And if not, I bid you a farewell. With nothing but love in my heart.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at someone, making them cry, and indirectly making them loose their friends

This happened several years ago but it plays on my mind sometimes. Everyone in this story is 15/16 at the time, in our last year at secondary school, UK. (��️ for finding this)

Myself, my girlfriend at the time [F], my best friend [B], F's friend [D], and a few of our other mutual friends were hanging out at lunch break. There aren't enough chairs at the table so F and I leave to go get extra. I come back and nothing seems amis.

Adding in some context now. No one in this story is cishet. We were all painfully awkward queer teens who haven't figured ourselves out yet. So we were all bottom of the social ladder, very much 'losers'. Me and F were, to my knowledge, the only 'same sex' couple in school. So by this point I'm used to people constantly making remarks about our relationship, but that's usually from ppl I didn't know or care about.

D is the only person, at this point, at school who's openly trans and genderqueer. They got a lot of hate for it. A lot of people harassed them and they didn't have many friends. I think for transparency's sake I have to say, I didn't really like D, we just didn't jell, but I made an effort to be kind and include them bc it's hard being queer in secondary school and I'm not gonna add more hate to that when me not getting on with them was my issue not theirs. And as a fellow victim of bullying I wasn't gonna exclude them from our friend group

Back to the story. As soon as we're back in classes, B tells me that D leant over to them while me and F were gone and said that it's "so sad seeing A and [OP] together" because "I took F's first kiss" and "poor [OP]". I trusted B's word on this as at that point we'd been best friends for several years, they weren't a shit stirrer, and had no reason to lie. In fact, they were confused D even said that to them since they were barely friends and knew B was best friends with me and would tell me they said that.

Hearing this really annoyed me. While I knew F and D had dated in the past, that didn't and shouldn't have effected mine and F's relationship in any way. And they'd been broken up well before I knew either of them. It's none of D's business who F kisses, and it's a shitty idea that because they'd dated before their later relationship first didn't mean as much. It felt very much like a dick thing to think never mind say about me and F. Also, B was my best friend, who did D get off to shit talking me to my best friend?

Anyway. Usually at the end of the day, several of us walked home together, and this group included D. I get to the spot we usually wait first and when I see D I confront them. I ask them why they'd say that and if they've got a problem with me. They don't deny saying it or really explain themself at all, they just look guilty. At first I kept calm. I knew D was F's friend and I didn't want to put a wedge in their friendship because of any issue I had with D. But, I keep asking why they did that, and if they've got something against me. If they're gonna shit talk me yanno. Then D starts crying.

I know it probably shouldn't have but this made me really mad. So I start yelling at them, saying something along the lines of 'so you're going to be an asshole to me and then you're gonna start crying?' and 'you started this, why are you crying?'. They start saying something along the lines of 'I didn't mean it like that' so I ask how did you mean it? And that they knew it wasn't something fine to say, because they said it behind my back and not to my face.

By this point, other people are watching, some of which were our mutual friends. I keep demanding they explain themself or at least apologize to me, but instead they run off crying. I don't follow them. If they're going to remove themself from the situation then fine.

People start asking what the hell that was about and I explain briefly to the people I knew and told the people I didn't to mind their own business. Someone I don't know tells me Ds gone to the head of year and I tell them I don't care, let them, I didn't do anything wrong. (This later amounts to nothing as no teacher ever comes to speak to me about this, so I doubt D did go to the head of year at all)

Eventually the people who were curious about what happened leave. All of the group who walk home together show up, including F. I explain to F what happened and they're upset that D said that about me, but wasn't happy to hear that D left crying.

For the rest of the school year, D ends up avoiding me. Literally staying out of my way, moving if I even glanced over at them. I thought they were overreacting. I never threatened them, and they were the one who chose to be an asshole first. I felt they were making this much more than it needed to be by avoiding it all together. We barely had an argument before they left, but anyone would have thought I'd attacked them or something. But because I obviously was always around F, D didn't have anyone to hang out with anymore. F was their only real friend and their other sort of friends were in our friend group.

No one told them they couldn't hang out with us anymore. (I'm pretty sure because they started avoiding me, I never ended up speaking to them again.) I know they still spoke to F still, but it seemed like their friendship was heavily damaged by it all.

D later ended up dropping out and finishing the school year through home schooling. I believe this was in large part due to the harassment they got for being genderqueer openly. (I remember on several occasions standing up for D and telling people to stop being transphobic assholes behind Ds back after this argument happened. Just because we didn't get along doesn't mean was gonna let that shit slide.)

I feel like I could be the asshole because due to this whole situation, D stopped hanging around their friends and through that lost a lot of the support they had. And obviously, I did make them cry.

On the other hand, no one stopped them from hanging out with their friends. They chose to avoid me and the situation. A situation they started by being a dick to me with zero provoking. They never apologized or recanted what they said. It's hard to feel bad that they lost their friends because they were being a shitty friend

Luckily, from what I know from friends of friends, D is doing better now and is around ppl who support them

This got a lot longer than I wanted but I believe I got all the details in there.

So, wita?

What are these acronyms?

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel For Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 9]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

MASTERPOST

SUMMARY: Noah goes to extreme lengths to see Jules again.

WARNINGS: SERIOUS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, swearing, suicidal behaviour, mentions of alcohol consumption, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE HAVING A HARD TIME WITH SAID TOPICS

A/N: I listened to Black Out Days by Phantogram on repeat while writing this and I cried. A lot. :)

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit @signs-of-ill-portent @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @ada-clarence @wild-child-7747

If you wanna be added to the taglist of this story, please DM me or let me know in the comments!

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

When Jules opened her eyes again, she found herself in that white room. Her heart sunk while tears were still running over her face. This was the moment. She would be banned into endless nothingness. Maybe she was sent to hell, if it even existed.

Right as she was about to panic, she felt a hand on her shoulder and abruptly turned around. Her panicked eyes met with Keaton's concerned ones.

"What's wrong?" He asked the girl as she tried to contain her breaths.

"Why are you here?" Jules wanted to know with widened eyes. "You were in trouble and even though you are dead, doesn't mean I'll not look after you when you need me to." Keaton gazed over her face.

Jules looked at him for a good second to try and read him. His face didn't change a bit, letting her come to the conclusion that he had no idea what was going on in the real world.

Jules took a deep breath and blinked a couple of times, before trying to form a sentence. "I just... Uhm- I needed a break."

She instantly knew that Keaton didn't believe a word that left her mouth. "Are you sure? You look like you cried."

When Jules didn't say a word for a solid minute, Keaton sighed. "I know it can be a lot."

Her shoulders relaxed at his empathetic tone. She felt bad for not telling Keaton what was going on, but she also knew she couldn't just bluntly tell him she had talked to Noah, who shouldn't even know she existed; let alone the confused feelings that mixed into the spectacle.

Jules took a couple of deep breaths, while trying to re-arrange her thoughts. She needed Keaton to give her an advice without telling him what chaos she created.

Keaton looked at Jules with understanding in his eyes, realizing she was struggling to find her words. After a moment of silence, he spoke gently, "Jules, it's okay to take a break from all of this, even if we're in this strange existence now. We all need some time to rest and gather ourselves. It's a part of life, or whatever you want to call it after life."

Jules nodded, grateful for his empathy and the absence of judgment.

Keaton continued, "But remember, there will always be challenges, even here. When they come, it's essential to face them. You're stronger than you think, and you can handle whatever comes your way. Don't shy away from the difficulties you'll encounter."

Jules found comfort in Keaton's words. Although she hadn't revealed the specifics of her recent experience with Noah, Keaton's advice seemed to apply to the unique situation she was navigating. She realized, in life or whatever came after, sometimes the best way forward was to confront the problems and challenges that surface.

"I just want him to be safe." Jules exclaimed quietly, while looking at the floor.

"I want Noah to be safe, too; and I know you'll do your utter best to keep it that way." Keaton reassured her and squeezed her arm.

With that the two left.

Noah felt empty. If he needed to describe it, Noah felt even more empty than before he met Jules. Knowing they had a couple of days off now, he allowed himself to let loose a bit. He hadn't drank a single sip of alcohol since the night he was saved by Jules, but right now he felt like he wouldn't survive his thoughts if he stayed sober.

He ordered a beer. The familiar chatter and laughter of the guests at the bar they went to, echoed around him.

As he sat at the bar, lost in his thoughts, Ruffilo, took the seat beside him. Nick's eyes held genuine concern as he asked, "Hey, Noah, are you okay? The show tonight was incredible, wasn't it?"

Noah shrugged, not wanting to accidentally reveal the strange situation he was going through. He couldn't risk telling Nick something he wasn't supposed to.

His best friend quickly picked up on Noah's desire to be alone. He gave him a comforting side hug, before getting up from his spot and leaving Noah to his own thoughts.

Alone, Noah contemplated how to make his cruel situation better. Filled with uncertainty and conflicting emotions, he ordered another drink, hoping to find solace in the comforting embrace of alcohol.

His vision became blurry with time. He didn't even try to focus on anything anymore. His head was buzzing. Everything felt like it was clouded. But his mind. His mind still didn't relax.

Jules.

Everything he could think about was her. Slowly but surely, he began to find himself ridiculous. Never in his life had he behaved like this when it came to a girl. Even if it wasn't just a girl, but his fucking guardian angel, he felt this thing he couldn't quite describe. He didn't know if it was of romantic nature or just the fact that he was blown of his chair about the fact that something like guardian angels really existed.

He didn't remember how many beers he had drank, but when he stumbled into his hotel room, he was more than just a little tipsy. He was angry. Angry with himself for not being able to let go for a second. Angry with the world for putting him in situations like this. Angry at Jules for leaving so abruptly when he needed her.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the door. All he could think of, was, how he felt when Jules hugged him. He felt like someone had broken his heart in a million pieces even though he didn't know Jules for longer than two hours. It was so dumb and yet he craved her touch, her presence, her voice. He craved her.

A drunken idea shot into his head, as he moved from the door.

"Jules?" He asked into the nothingness of his room, knowing damn well that she heard him. All he could hear was a quiet buzzing in his ears from the alcohol he had consumed.

He sighed. "I know you can fucking hear me."

Again he tried to recognize any shifts in the room. But nothing happened. It was just him, drunk and empty.

He felt like he had no other choice, when he opened his balcony door and stepped outside. The cold wind blew around him but he didn't care, to drunk to even recognize the almost freezing temperatures.

He leaned against the railing of the balcony and looked down. His room was on the third floor. It was high enough to give it another try.

"Jules?" He asked one more time, in hopes he would get the answer he needed desperately at the moment, but again... Nothing happened. Noah's vision became blurry from his anger at himself.

"You're giving me no other choice." He tried to convince himself and lifted one leg to step over the railing, like he already did before a couple of years ago; his hands gripping the metal tightly.

Right as he was about to lift his other leg, the atmosphere changed. Noah felt how goosebumps started to form on his arms, but not from the cold. It felt like a rush of warmth washed over him.

"If you even think about this for one second longer, I'll fucking push you off myself." He heard a female voice behind him speak.

Still hanging in his position, he swallowed hard. "Not really 'Guardian Angel-like' of you." - "Not really 'I'll take care of myself' of you."

Than there was silence for a second. Noah clung to the railing, still staring down at the concrete in front of the hotel, while one leg stood firmly on the floor of the balcony.

"Please, step back, Noah." Jules tried to talk to him calmly, while her heart was racing. She wondered if it was this feeling Keaton had felt right before she died.

"Will you go away, if I do so?" Noah said so quietly, Jules almost didn't catch it. It broke her heart to see him this way. She knew it took more than their encounter and the knowledge that they couldn't just be friends like normal people, to climb over a railing, but seeing him do this risky thing to get her back into his reality broke something inside of her.

"Don't do that to me, Noah." Jules rasped, her voice almost getting washed over by her upcoming tears. She barely knew this man, only being there for him for less than two months, but she knew she would die again if it meant that his soul would finally have some peace. "Please step back from that railing, Noah."

"Promise me, you won't go again." Noah demanded, hot tears streaming down his face as his hands got slightly sweaty.

"You know, I can't. We both know." Jules stuttered, stepping a small step towards Noah. "Please, Noah."

"Why should I listen to your pleadings when you can't even listen to mine?" Noah knew this wasn't about seeing Jules again anymore. It had stopped being about her, the second he looked over the railing. His head was killing him and he felt like hearing her voice was the only thing that took his mind of the other shit he felt.

Jules ears were ringing. She felt like her head was about to explode as she watched the man in front of him cling to the railing, his life literally depending on it. Her mind was racing. She felt like she was going to throw up. She needed to help him at all cost.

And suddenly.

She knew what would bring him out of his trance.

"Keaton wouldn't want that and you know it."

Noah looked away from the pathway and straight ahead. He couldn't believe what she just said.

"What?"

Jules didn't answer him, letting her sentence sit in a little longer. Noah turned his head, still remaining in his position, but he needed to make sure he heard Jules right.

"What did you just say?" He repeated himself, his tone a bit harsher than before. He couldn't fucking believe it.

"You heard what I said." Jules said, the tone of her voice also stronger than before.

Now Noah felt like he was going to throw up. He expected a lot but not hearing the name of one of his dearest friends. A loss he couldn't quite come to terms with. His tears became thicker. He knew she was right but why the hell did she talk about Keaton, yet alone know him.

He slightly flinched when he felt a warm hand on his arm. Only now he noticed he started shaking a little from the cold. He felt like his name washed the alcohol out of his system.

"Why the hell do you know Keaton?" Noah almost hissed at her, anger washing over him. She shouldn't have dragged Keaton into this.

"Why do you think I'm here?" Jules answered him, not letting go of his arm, in case he changed his mind. Noah turned a bit more in response to look her in the eyes. He felt how his fingers were freezing cold.

When he looked in her face, he realised she was also crying. He studied her face as he began to realise what she was trying to say with her sentence. His eyes widen slightly. "He was watching over me?"

Jules nodded. "And he also watched over me." She took a deep breath. "And all the people he loved."

Noah felt as if the ground was being pulled out from under his feet. One of his hands left the railing and clutched at Jules as he realised he couldn't take any more. He just grabbed Jules and clung to her like everything depended on it while his sobs broke out of him.

Jules gently led Noah away from the balcony's railing, guiding him a bit away. The tension that had gripped him began to subside as they settled on the cold floor of the balcony. He clung to her, seeking comfort in her presence.

They sat there together, the distant sounds of the city, the faint glow of the night sky and his soft sobs as their only companions. Jules listened as Noah's rapid breaths gradually slowed, his racing thoughts becoming more manageable.

As Noah began to regain his composure, Jules decided it was time to get him to bed. She helped him up, leading him to the room. Gently, she covered him with a blanket, ensuring he was warm and safe, both of them to exhausted to change him into different clothes.

But as she turned to leave, Noah's hand shot out and grabbed hers. "Please, don't go," he whispered, his voice filled with a vulnerability that tugged at her heart. "I'm sorry, Jules."

She sighed softly, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "We'll talk when you're clear-headed again," she promised. "Right now, you need rest." She pulled a chair next to his bed and settled into it, her eyes never leaving him. It was going to be a long night.

In the quiet of the room, with Noah's rhythmic breathing as the only sound, Jules sat watchful, her presence being a safe space for the troubled musician. The moonlight bathed the room in its soft glow, and despite the turmoil of the evening, their connection remained intact, unbreakable, and strangely comforting.

PART TEN

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Cyber Revolution, Entry 37: Breaking The Fields

'''Cause I can't look back, no more turning back! 'Til I find my way back home, and I know, I've gotta be so much more than this! But what can I be if not me?''

– So Much More… by Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing

xXxXxXx

Silver and Makoto weren't completely sure how to approach the situation. They knew that them being stuck at Sky Canyon was most likely Dr. Eggman's doing. However, given how easily they had defeated the Boss of the Zone, it felt a bit out of place. The good Doctor wasn't usually this sloppy.

''Makoto, watch out!'' Silver suddenly shouted when their environment started glitching out and the platform below them disappeared. Fortunately for both of them, Silver used his psychokinesis to keep them afloat.

''That was close! Thanks, Silver!'' Makoto said, with Silver giving them a thumbs up before landing them safely on another platform. However, just as they landed, their environment started to glitch out once again. Feeling alarmed, both looked up at the flash of light before them, revealing itself to be a cyan diamond-shaped gem. Both of their jaws dropped as they realized what they were looking at, with Makoto breaking the silence. ''That's a Chaos Emerald! But, how?''

''I don't know,'' Silver replied, reaching for the cyan gem. He could feel it's energy crackling through his fingers. He glanced at Makoto with a confused look, fishing for an explanation. ''I mean, we did beat the Boss of this Zone, so maybe this is our prize?''

Before Makoto could answer, there was another flash of light, this one being green, with Shadow and Touka suddenly appearing before them, and Shadow still holding the green Chaos Emerald.

''Shadow!''

''Touka!''

The two siblings were surprised to see Silver and Makoto, but also pleased to see that the Chaos Emerald-enhanced Chaos Control worked properly. Nevertheless, there was a question on their mind.

''What are you doing here?'' Touka asked.

''We were a moment ago with Lily and Knuckles, who had asked us whether we had seen Rouge because she hadn't appeared for a while, and in the next moment, we found ourselves in Sky Canyon,'' Makoto explained. ''What about you?''

''We were helping out Tails and Warren, when we suddenly found ourselves in…'' Touka paused, only to resume. ''Okay, I don't know what the name of that place was, but it had a lot of snow. I'm just glad that we got somewhere with a moderate temperature.''

Shadow just rolled his eyes at her remark, with Makoto adding, ''Well, if you guys were in a snow filled-zone that is also from the Sonic Advance series, just like us, you were either in the Ice Mountain Zone from Sonic Advance, Ice Paradise from Sonic Advance 2 or Twinkle Snow from Sonic Advance 3.''

''We have more important things to talk about than names of Zones,'' Shadow suddenly interrupted them, pointing at Silver. ''I see that you also got a Chaos Emerald.''

''Yeah, we got it after beating… the Egg Saucer?'' Silver turned to Makoto, who nodded. He then turned back to Shadow. ''What about you?''

''We were confronted by Dr. Starline,'' Shadow explained, with Makoto and Silver being surprised to hear that name. ''He was piloting a mech, probably made by Dr. Eggman. We managed to defeat him, but it seems that my Chaos energy reacted with the AR Field and caused the Chaos Emeralds to appear.''

''Then we can use the Chaos Emeralds to escape this place,'' Silver said, elated to hear that there was a solution to their problem. Shadow then shook his head, his arms folded across his chest.

''I'm afraid that it is not that easy. The AR Field is quite unstable and one has to be very careful when using Chaos Control. I had tried to warp Touka and I out of it, but we landed here instead,'' he explained.

''Then, maybe we need all 7 of the Chaos Emeralds. Also, if you are trapped here and this is another of Dr. Eggman's schemes, this must mean that maybe the rest of the team is trapped as well,'' Makoto said. ''We cannot travel through Zones by any normal means, but we can use the Chaos Emeralds for that.''

''Well, you two can do that,'' Silver said, holding out the cyan Chaos Emerald to Shadow and Touka. ''I don't even know how to use Chaos Control.''

Shadow stared at the cyan Chaos Emerald that Silver was offering to him, then glanced back at the grey hedgehog, clearly assessing the situation and their options. If their assumptions were correct, their teammates were all separated and it would take some time to find them, even with the Chaos Emerald, as surely Dr. Eggman would try to intervene. Shadow then held up his hand, showing that he wouldn't take the Chaos Emerald, much to Silver's confusion.

''I will give you a quick crash course on using Chaos Control. You will be able to utilize it with the Chaos Emerald, even if you had never used it before,'' Shadow replied.

''B-But…'' Silver wanted to protest, feeling that this was something he wouldn't be capable of, but after seeing Shadow's grim gaze, he then nodded. ''What do I have to do?''

''You can use the Chaos Energy within the Chaos Emerald to sense the presence of other Chaos Emeralds, and you can let this sensation guide you,'' Shadow explained. ''All you need is to focus, and you will be able to find them.''

Silver nodded, holding the Chaos Emerald and focusing on the Chaos Energy within. At first, it was quite overwhelming, as he never felt something like this before, but as he got used to this new power, he could feel something tugging him to several sides, unsure which path to follow. He assumed that one energy signature, the strongest one, was the Chaos Emerald Shadow was holding. So he tried to focus on the other energy signatures, finding one that was much further from him. It was like a thread hanging in front of him, and all he needed to do was to reach for it.

''I think I got it,'' Silver said, opening his eyes. Shadow nodded.

''You and Makoto will go there then,'' he said. Silver smiled, with both him and Shadow holding up their hands, arms crossing.

''CHAOS…'' Silver started as the energy around them crackled.

''CONTROL!!!'' Shadow roared, with a blinding light engulfing the whole group.

xXx

Tails and Warren had to leap each towards a different side to avoid Silver Sonic's attack. It appeared that the robotic version of Sonic seemed to have some kind of regenerative ability, as no matter how powerful Tails' EMP field was, the robot would always stand up. They needed to find another way around it.

''Any ideas?'' Warren asked, him and Tails hiding behind a metallic pillar and flinching when Silver Sonic lost sight of them and smashed a different pillar.

''I'm not sure. I'm not as good at combat as someone like Sonic or Knuckles…'' Tails said, only to realize that admist all of the chaos he had forgotten that he was still wearing his backpack. He quickly took it off, starting to rummage around it.

''Watch it!'' Warren grabbed Tails, running off to the other side of the Zone as Silver Sonic smashed into the pillar they were hiding behind. Whatever was left of Chaos Surge had already faded, leaving them quite vulnerable. However, Warren was given a small toy-like laser gun by Tails, who then reached for another gadget in his backpack.

''Keep him busy, I have an idea!'' Tails said, starting to tinker with the electromagnetic discs. Warren used Tails laser gun to fire at Silver Sonic, surprisingly managing to get a few good hits, but the robot seemed to be unstoppable. When he got too close to the two, both managed to slip away, with Tails slapping the disc onto Silver Sonic, while Warren took the other and put it on a piece of debris, then pushed it off the edge of the Zone. The magnetic pull was so strong that Silver Sonic followed it, falling off the platform.

''All right!'' Tails cheered, him and Warren high-fiving in relief, especially since Silver Sonic didn't return this time. However, as they celebrated, they saw a flash of light, revealing a diamond-shaped yellow gem that landed in Tails' hands.

''T-That's a Chaos Emerald!'' Warren stuttered in shock.

''A Chaos Emerald?'' Tails replied in a stunned state. ''But, how is that possible?'' Before any of them could continue their conversation, they were met by another flash of light, revealing two familiar figures. ''Silver? Makoto? What are you doing here?''

''It's a long story, but from what we've figured out, Dr. Eggman and Dr. Starline have trapped us here and we need to collect five more… well, four more,'' Makoto corrected himself upon seeing the yellow gem in Tails' hands, ''Chaos Emeralds. Touka and Shadow got one already.''

''Shadow also taught me how to use Chaos Control with a Chaos Emerald, and if we collect all of them, we'll be able to escape this place,'' Silver explained.

''Where are they?'' Warren asked.

''They went to another Zone. Shadow had figured that it would be easier for us to collect all the Chaos Emeralds if we split up,'' Silver explained.

''Okay,'' Tails nodded. ''Let's see what we can find.''

xXx

Knuckles punched Mecha Sonic, sending him flying across Sky Sanctuary with ease, almost causing him to fall off the platform. Mecha Sonic barely held himself onto the edge of the platform, when Lily suddenly appeared, having found a metallic rod and giving him an apologetic look.

''This will hurt me more than you,'' she said, swinging the metallic rod at Mecha Sonic, knocking him off the platform. Knuckles approached her, looking rather satisfied with the result.

''Nice job,'' he said.

''Oh, please, that was all you,'' Lily replied, with both being surprised by a sudden flash of light. Above them, a diamond-shaped purple gem appeared, falling right on Knuckles' head. Fortunately, he managed to catch it before it fell over the edge of the platform.

''Huh, what's that?'' Knuckles stared at the gem, which Lily immediately recognized.

''Knux, that's a Chaos Emerald! That's one of the most powerful gems in the world!'' she said, looking quite awestruck. Knuckles rose an eyebrow, turning it in his hands.

''Why did this appear before us?'' he wondered.

''I don't know… I mean, this is an area from a video game. Maybe we got rewarded for beating Mecha Sonic?'' Lily suggested. Before their conversation could continue, a flash of light appeared, revealing itself to be Shadow and Touka. ''Woah, what are you two doing here?''

''It's a long story, but we are currently in an AR Field created by Dr. Eggman and Dr. Starline, and the rest of Team Neos is also trapped here, and the two Doctors are probably going to try to collect the Chaos Emeralds,'' Touka quickly explained. ''We already came across Makoto and Silver, and they're on the search for the others.''

''How many Chaos Emeralds did you manage to gather?'' Knuckles asked.

''Two so far, but with you, it's three. If Silver and Makoto had managed to find another, then we'll have four out of seven,'' Shadow explained.

''How did you even manage to travel between Zones?'' Lily asked. ''We tried to leave Sky Sanctuary to get to Hidden Palace Zone, but we were just teleported back.''

''It appears that one can travel between the Zones via Chaos Control,'' Touka explained.

Just then, Sky Sanctuary suddenly started to shake, with their surroundings glitching out, only for a crowd of EggRobos to surround them, as well as Mecha Sonic reappearing, but this time in a golden colour, having returned as Super Mecha Sonic Mark II. Above them, flying in a smaller version of the Egg Mobile, was Dr. Starline.

''You again!'' Touka shouted, with Dr. Starline grinning at them.

''Surprise! I had figured that I should get back-up. Maybe you two can take down a whole mech, but what about getting outnumbered?'' he said. Knuckles and Shadow took a battle stance, with the echidna glancing at Shadow.

''That's Dr. Starline?'' he asked. Shadow nodded. Knuckles huffed. ''He doesn't look like much of a threat.''

''He may not have a mech, but I would still be cautious,'' Shadow warned the echidna, being on guard.

''It doesn't matter how cautious you are, I will make sure to take you down and bring those Chaos Emeralds to Dr. Eggman!'' Starline told them, smirking. ''Then, the Doctor will have nothing but words of praise for me!''

xXx

''Okay, question; how do we find a Chaos Emerald here? We saw that one just appeared in front of Touka and Shadow,'' Lucas said, as he and Sonic searched Green Hill for the elusive gem.

''Well, this is a location based on a video game. Maybe we have to follow video game logic,'' Sonic replied.

Lucas rose an eyebrow, wondering what Sonic meant. Technically, they were trapped in some kind of infinite loop of the Green Hill Zone, unable to break out, which is why they needed the Chaos Emerald. However, they also needed to figure out how to make one appear, and if they went by video game logic, then they would have to enter the Special Stages, but as noted above, that was impossible. Nevertheless, there was something Lucas noticed as he observed the screens showing his friends.

''We would have to beat the Boss of the Zone… However, we know that this Zone doesn't have a Boss due to what Dr. Eggman did…'' he trailed off, exchanging glances with Sonic. ''Actually, maybe we just have to pass the Goal Plate.''

Sonic snorted. ''That would be the easiest way of getting the Chaos Emerald. As a matter of fact, it's too-'' Sonic stopped, seeing the Goal Plate in front of him. Last time he and Lucas passed it, they found themselves back at the beggining of Green Hill. Nevertheless, both sped up and passed it. ''Easy?'' To their surprise, there was a flash of light, with a blue diamond-shaped gem appearing before them, with Sonic snatching it out of the air. ''Okay, Eggman really should've put some Badniks around to at least give me some kind of challenge.''

''Well, that not our problem anymore,'' Lucas replied. ''Now, how does one use Chaos Control with this thing?''

Both him and Sonic fell silent, as despite Lucas' knowledge of the lore of the Chaos Emeralds and the various Chaos-related abilities, they still had no clue how to properly use it like Shadow and Touka did. Sonic just stared at the Chaos Emerald, as if expecting it to do something, weighting in his hands carefully, before shrugging.

''Well, all I can do is trust my instincts,'' he said. Lucas gave him a dubious look.

''I hope your instincts won't make us permanently trapped here,'' he said.

''Heh, just trust me, I know what I'm doing,'' he said, holding up the Chaos Emerald. Lucas couldn't help but roll his eyes, even though he did trust his partner with his life. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!!''

xXx

Amy had managed to catch up to Metal Sonic, trying to hit him with her Piko Piko Hammer, only for Metal Sonic to block it and grab her hammer, throwing her backwards, leading to the pink hedgehog landing right on Minami. Due to being fueled with the power of Chaos Surge, Sonic's metallic rival was much stronger than before. However, neither Amy nor Minami were ready to give up, having overheard the conversation about the Chaos Emeralds between Ferra and Dr. Eggman.

''You two should really should know when to give up!'' Ferra said, her whole body crackling with energy. The same energy surrounded Metal Sonic as he prepared to blast away the two, only for a blue flash of light to appear right above them. Metal Sonic and Ferra could only look up before something heavy fell right on top of them.

''Aghh...'' Sonic fell his head spin and his body ache, but he was still happy at the results, clutching the blue Chaos Emerald in his hand. ''Nailed it!''

''Ugh, what was- huh?'' Lucas' dazed look was quickly replaced by surprise when he realized that he landed right on top of Ferra, while Sonic landed on Metal Sonic. ''I guess this might count as defeating the Boss of Stardust Speedway?''

''Get off me!'' Ferra shouted at him, kicking Lucas off of her, with Metal Sonic doing the same to his organic counterpart, although with a lot more force. Sonic rolled over before getting into a battle stance.

''All right, Metal! If you want to fight, we'll fight!'' Sonic said, still clutching the Chaos Emerald in his hand. Lucas, meanwhile, went over to Minami and Amy.

''Are you two okay?'' he asked.

''Yeah, but how did you get here?'' Amy asked.

''Sonic used Chaos Control,'' Lucas said, pointing at the blue gem Sonic was holding, then noted the questioning looks Minami and Amy gave him. ''I'll explain everything later, but what you need to know is that all of Team Neos is trapped in different Zones of this AR Field and we're trying to find the Chaos Emeralds before Dr. Eggman does.''

''How many do we have?'' Minami asked.

''From what I've seen, two are missing. We need to find the Chaos Emerald of Stardust Speedway,'' Lucas replied. The three then turned towards Sonic, who was currently locked in a brawl with Metal Sonic. Not only was Sonic's robotic counterpart after the blue Chaos Emerald his rival was holding, but he went back to just trying to beat up Sonic for the sake of beating him up.

Ferra, on the other hand, seemed to have spotted something, and Lucas saw the same. He grabbed his hoverboard and shoved it into Minami's hands. ''Get the Chaos Emerald! I'll help Sonic!''

Minami and Amy, who both took note of Ferra's behavior and her taking off towards the far end of Stardust Speedway, having spotted the red Chaos Emerald, quickly got on Lucas' hoverboard and sped off without a word. Even though Ferra had a headstart, Lucas' hoverboard was much faster thanks to the modifications Warren and Tails added.

''Com'n… Com'n!'' Minami hissed under her breath, hoping that her and Amy's combined weight didn't slow them down. Ferra turned around, spotting the two going after her and gaining speed. However, Ferra was incredibly close to the Chaos Emerald, reaching out for it…

''Oh, no you don't!'' Amy leapt from the hoverboard, throwing her hammer at Ferra, causing her to stumble and fall off. She was then caught by Minami, with both reaching for the red diamond-shaped gem. ''Yes!''

''No!'' Ferra cried out furiously as Amy held onto the Chaos Emerald, while Minami just gave her a smug look.

xXx

Dr. Eggman rubbed his temple as he watched the screen of the Egg Mobile, being annoyed to see that Dr. Starline clearly underestimated the combined force of Knuckles and Shadow, both equipped with Chaos Emeralds, and groaned when he saw Ferra failing to acquire the red Chaos Emerald. Even though he had faith in his Enforcer, he had to admit that he expected failure to some extent. He knew that it was a tragedy that Team Neos managed to get six of the Chaos Emeralds, but he still had a chance. There was one Chaos Emerald remaining and Dr. Eggman knew exactly where to find it.

As it turned out, there was an area between all AR Fields, a so-called no man's land that connected to each of the AR Fields, containing the glitches and bugs that formed thanks to Shadow's Chaos Energy and the place of origin for the Chaos Emeralds. It certainly looked nothing like the other Zones, but was more of a mish-mash of all of them, with the grey diamond-shaped gem being placed on a stone pedestal in the middle of the Zone.

''Ho ho ho… even if Team Neos managed to get all of the other Chaos Emeralds, they still cannot escape when one Chaos Emerald is missing,'' Dr. Eggman said, lowering the Egg Mobile to get to the pedestal, only to get startled by a flash of light, with Silver, Makoto, Tails and Warren having a hard landing.

''Ugh… That hurt…'' Warren said, rubbing his head.

''Sorry, I guess I miscalculated,'' Silver, who was holding onto the cyan Chaos Emerald, replied as he rubbed his head.

''At least we got out of the Death Egg Zone,'' Tails said, holding onto the yellow Chaos Emerald.

''Dr. Eggman!'' Makoto gasped when he realized that they weren't alone.

The rest of the group looked up, surprised to see Dr. Eggman hovering above them. Dr. Eggman was fuming at the sight of them, having hoped that they wouldn't find out about this Zone.

''I will not let you ruin my plans!'' Dr. Eggman growled, pressing a button and unleashing a barrage of homing missiles, forcing Silver to raise a cyan barrier with his psychokinesis to block the attack. Dr. Eggman took advantage of this, pressing another button that caused a mechanical claw to be lowered and snatched away the grey Chaos Emerald from the pedestal.

''Oh, no, he got the Chaos Emerald!'' Makoto cried out. Dr. Eggman laughed as he flew away, well aware that they will be now trapped forever here, only for the laughter to stop when Tails flew towards him, hanging onto the claw and trying to pry it open.

''Get off the Egg Mobile, Prower!'' Dr. Eggman yelled at the twin-tailed fox, who desperately clung onto the mechanical claw. Dr. Eggman started to drive the Egg Mobile in an erratic manner, hoping to shake Tails off.

''Chaos Surge!''

Much to Dr. Eggman's horror, the Egg Mobile was stopped by the combined power of Silver and Makoto's psychokinesis, who were keeping the vehicle in place. Tails grinned, managing to get the grey Chaos Emerald out of the claw, and now holding two of them flew back towards his friends.

''No! How dare you steal from me?!'' Dr. Eggman growled.

''We know exactly that we cannot trust you with the Chaos Emeralds, so we're taking them with us!'' Warren replied.

''Then I'll make sure that you're going nowhere!'' Dr. Eggman shouted, pressing another button. Suddenly, the whole Zone shook, with Silver, Makoto, Tails and Warren staring at their surroundings in horror. Dr. Eggman laughed, well aware that he just activated a program to close the AR Field. If they all didn't get out as soon as possible, they would be erased from existence along with the collapsing AR Field. ''Enjoy the afterlife!''

Dr. Eggman then vanished from the AR Field, clearly retreating. A sense of panic enveloped the four as they realized that they were now on a timer.

''The whole AR Field is collapsing! Silver, can you warp us to the others?'' Tails asked. Silver nodded, although panic was already setting in.

''I-I can… But there are two energy signatures I'm detecting,'' he said, only to shake his head. He wasn't sure which path to take, but he needed to pick one immediately. ''Everyone, stay close!'' He held up the cyan Chaos Emerald, focusing on what seemed to be the stronger energy signature. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!''

xXx

Sonic curled into a ball, performing a homing attack on Metal Sonic, who managed to quickly dodge it. His sensors detected that his own Chaos Surge was running out of power and if he wanted to get rid off Sonic once and for all, he needed to be quick. Not only that, but Sonic was also holding onto the blue Chaos Emerald, and since they already lost the red Chaos Emerald to Amy and Minami, he needed to at least get that one.

Metal Sonic targeted his organic counterpart, firing several blasts from his chest. Fortunately, one of them managed to hit Sonic, causing him to fall on the ground. Metal Sonic rushed over to grab the blue Chaos Emerald, but Sonic managed to throw it towards Lucas, who caught it.

''If you think that we'll give you the Chaos Emerald, you're dead wrong,'' Sonic told his metallic counterpart, who shot him a glare, then suddenly rushed over to Lucas. The teenager's eyes widened, and he managed to dodge Metal Sonic, then started to run towards Sonic, with the robot being on his heels.

However, before Metal Sonic could swipe at Lucas, the whole Stardust Speedway shook, and it looked like it was falling apart. Ferra, Minami and Amy were also stunned by what was going on, with Ferra getting into contact with Dr. Eggman.

''What is going on with the AR Field?!'' she asked.

''I decided to close it! Get out unless you want to get yourself killed!'' Dr. Eggman replied, disconnecting the call. Ferra felt her heart race as she realized that the AR Field would collapse all around them, and turned to her partner. ''Metal, we need to leave! NOW!!''

Despite wanting to complete his mission and beat up Sonic, Metal understood the urgency in Ferra's tone. He flew over to her, with both then vanishing from the AR Field. Meanwhile, Minami and Amy joined Lucas and Sonic, noting how the roads all around them were collapsing.

''We don't have all of the Chaos Emeralds!'' Lucas pointed out, giving the blue Chaos Emerald to Sonic. ''We need to find the others before we get trapped here for good!''

''I think I know where to find the others! Hold on tight!'' Sonic said as his friends gathered around him, holding the blue Chaos Emerald up. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!''

xXx

''Chaos Spear!''

Siphoning the energy from the green Chaos Emerald, Shadow summoned a barrage of Chaos Spears, flinging them towards the EggRobos, shattering each and every one of them. Next to him was Knuckles, who gave the purple Chaos Emerald to Lily so he was free to fight Super Mecha Sonic. The Sonic look-a-like curled into a ball, flying towards the echidna. Knuckles braced himself, attempting to punch the robot, but was instead sent flying and landing on the platform just at the edge. He was fortunate that he didn't fall off. He saw Super Mecha Sonic flying towards him once again, summoning an energy ball and firing it at Knuckles. The echidna managed to roll over, dodging it, then getting up and rushing towards Super Mecha Sonic. However, before he could land a hit, Super Mecha Sonic suddenly glitched out and vanished.

''What?!'' Dr. Starline was shocked to see that the robot was gone. ''This was not supposed to happen!''

The screen before him suddenly crackled and he was surprised when Dr. Eggman appeared. ''Starline! The AR Field is collapsing, so unless you want to get killed, get out!''

''B-But, Doctor-! The mission-!'' Dr. Starline stuttered, but the screen already went black. The whole Sky Sanctuary Zone shook, slowly vanishing out of existence, with the data particles fading away. ''No, no, no! How could you do that, Doctor?! We need the Chaos Emeralds!''

''Chaos Blast!''

Dr. Starline cried out in panic when Shadow's Chaos Blast hit the Egg Mobile, causing it to fall and the platypus Irregular hit the ground hard. He sat up, feeling numb from the impact, only for his eyes to widen in horror when he saw Shadow and Knuckles approach him, both with murderous looks on their expressions.

''I guess I should listen to the Doctor,'' Starline muttered. As much as he wanted to fulfill his mission, he valued his life more. He could try again another time. Quickly pressing the top of his glove, he vanished before the dark hedgehog and red echidna could murder him in a brutal fashion.

''Darn it, he's gone!'' Knuckles growled, with Shadow turning to him with a grim look.

''We have more pressing matters to worry about,'' he said, pointing at their surroundings. Touka and Lily had joined them, taking note of how the floating platforms were falling into the dark abyss below.

''We need to find the others and get the rest of the Chaos Emeralds,'' Touka said in an urgent tone. ''That the only way for us to escape!''

''Right, but how are we going to find-'' Lily started, only to be startled by a flash of cyan light. To their relief, they saw Silver, Makoto, Tails and Warren.

''We got three Chaos Emeralds!'' Tails shouted, his group rushing over to them. ''How many more- Agh!''

The platform they were standing on suddenly tilted, forcing the group to run towards the next platform. They were all breathing heavily, their surroundings becoming smaller and smaller as Sky Sanctuary was falling apart. They exchanged glances, only to get startled by a flash of blue light, with Sonic, Lucas, Amy and Minami appearing before them.

''Guys, are you-?'' Sonic was cut off by Shadow, who had managed to gather the Chaos Emeralds from Knuckles, Silver and Tails.

''Ask questions later, Sonic! We need to escape!'' he growled, with Sonic nodding, him and Amy giving up their own Chaos Emeralds. The seven gems started to surround Shadow as he focused on their energy, now far greater than the one he sensed from just one Chaos Emerald. A bright glow surrounded him and the rest of Team Neos as their surroundings grew darker and darker, turning into an unending void. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!!''

xXx

There was a blinding flash of light, with Team Neos losing all sense of direction, only to find themselves a moment later back on solid ground. Feeling somewhat dizzy, it took them a bit to recover. Sonic was the first to break the silence, rubbing his head.

''Woah… Hey, we're back at the workshop!''

The rest of Team Neos looked around, realizing that, indeed, Shadow had warped all of them back to the Taylor Workshop.

''Thank goodness that we got out of that AR Field,'' Amy said, taking a deep breath, with the rest of the group agreeing with her.

''Yeah, I don't want to repeat this experience,'' Lily said, glancing at Shadow, who was currently being looked over by Touka. It seemed that using the Chaos Emeralds like this did affect him as well.

''Shadow, how are you feeling?'' Touka asked. Shadow just shook his head, getting up.

''The Chaos Emeralds are gone,'' he said. This caused a moment a silence, with the group exchanging confused glances.

''How could they just vanish?'' Minami asked. Tails, who got up, reached for the Miles Electric in his backpack, having kept it on during this whole adventure.

''I think I may have an answer…'' he said, connecting the Miles Electric to the computer and analyzing the data. ''Since the Chaos Emeralds were created inside the AR Field, once it ceased to exist, so did the Emeralds. I would have to put a bit more time into this, but it seems to be the most logical outcome.''

''So, even if we attempted to take them out of the AR Field, we wouldn't have been able to do so?'' Silver asked. Tails nodded in response.

''Well, that's good news. This means that Eggman wouldn't have been able to take them either,'' Sonic said.

''Yes, but wouldn't he be able to re-create the AR Field and the Chaos Emeralds?'' Knuckles asked.

''I doubt it,'' Lucas said, drawing everyone's question. ''Sonic and I saw that the Chaos Emeralds were a result of Shadow using his Chaos-based powers, so unless Eggman had access to Chaos Energy, he wouldn't be able to repeat this on his own.''

''So, it's over?'' Makoto asked. Lucas nodded.

''It's over.''

Team Neos was quite relieved to hear that their adventure was indeed over. While this was quite an exhilarating adventure, they all just wanted back to their normal life.

xXx

''Doctor, why would you cause the AR Field to collapse? We could've taken the Chaos Emeralds!'' Dr. Starline said, completely baffled by his idol's decision.

''As it turns out, that wasn't possible after all,'' Dr. Eggman responded, pointing at the screens behind him. ''The Chaos Emeralds were a by-product of the AR Field and Shadow's Chaos Energy. Even if I attempted to replicate what happened, I wouldn't be able to do that without the hedgehog.''

''So, this whole mission was a failure from the start?'' Dr. Starline asked, quite disappointed. There was a sigh coming from the other side of the room, the source of it being an annoyed Ferra and Metal Sonic. To everyone's surprise, Dr. Eggman grinned.

''Oh ho ho ho, on the contrary, Dr. Starline; I believe that this mission was quite important. We know now that it is possible to create Chaos Emeralds, and while we don't have the means, we do have the necessary data for that. So, I wouldn't shelve this plan yet,'' Dr. Eggman replied.

''Ah, so it was a success then!'' Dr. Starline said, clasping his hands, looking quite happy with the news.

''Indeed,'' Dr. Eggman replied, sitting down in his chair as he observed the data on the screen. ''All we have to do is to take advantage of what we know.''

xXx

Rouge shivered as she crawled through the air-vent, tugging at the golden collar around her neck. She knew that she was in a very dangerous place and that she needed to escape, but for that, she needed more information and a way out. She was trapped in this place, and all she could do was to spy on those who have trapped her here. She managed to come across an opening at an office, hearing voices coming from it.

''This is the autopsy report from the Sakamoto case.''

There was a pause as the other person in the room, a man with dark grey hair and wearing a grey and dark green uniform read the autopsy report the agent brought him.

''So, the Professor had indeed died from blood loss, and his body was moved. Have you managed to track down where his body was before someone tampered with it?'' the man, who appeared to be a quite high-ranking officer.

''Unfortunately, we haven't,'' the agent replied, with his superior frowning. ''We are doing our best to find Hiroshi Sakamoto's murderer.''

Rouge felt chills flowing down her spine as she overheard this. She did not have pleasant memories associated with that name.

''What about Project Shadow? Have you managed to track down the Irregular?'' the man continued. Rouge gasped, quickly covering her mouth and hoping nobody had heard her.

''It appears that Miss Kageura had been keeping him at her house. We don't know how he was found, but it is possible that Touka may have been able to recall her memories,'' the agent replied.

''I see…'' the man furrowed a brow. ''Get them over here. We believed that Project Shadow was a waste of time, but perhaps the weapons project may end up being a success.''

Rouge felt sick to her stomach after hearing this. She wanted to warn Shadow and Touka that they were in grave danger, but that was impossible, especially with her current situation. She just hoped that they would be able to avoid capture.

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#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

[madladmorty]

Can we reclaim Voldemort? Seriously, I wanna do that-

If you read the books, you can, amongst all the transphobia and antisemitism, find a lot of queer coding in Voldemort. Specifically trans/non binary and aromantic.

Look at that fucker, and then look me in the eye and tell me he would be a transphobe. If you can, I politely and respectfully ask you to fuck off because that is not the vibe at all.

The aromantic coding isn't even coding at this point. While, yes, Rowling got it quite wrong about where aromantisism comes from with Voldemort, (for a shockingly nice representation of it I recommend looking at Charlie Weasley), he is canonically aromantic. He doesn't understand love, it's a foreign concept to him. It doesn't make him evil, in fact my aro friends agree that they actually find him a little relatable in that way. Like, wtf is this thing that everyone is constantly talking about? I don't get it. It's weird.

As for trans/enby, bare with me here.

As a trans person myself, I can actually match up to the muggle raised wizard experience in general, but Voldemort has added stuff.

For starters, he always knew he was different, knew he wasn't like the rest but also realised that talking about it would result in a worse situation for himself. Very relatable. I remember when I was very young and finally realised that, no, girls don't all want pixie sticks. I don't why, but I felt that I had to shut up about it because some things are just better left unsaid.

I think the biggest trans/enby coding in Voldemort is the name change. Unfortunately, the way Voldemort's name is treated does somewhat reflect experiences of real trans and non binary people. No one calls Voldemort by the name he has chosen for himself, except the those who view him as a threat. In fact, Harry, egged on by Dumbledore who also does it, flat out deadnames him. To his face. Dumbledore even acknowledges that he uses a different name now but STILL calls him Tom just to seemingly assert dominance. Real mature, Dumbledore, real mature.

Then there is the fact that he has undergone drastic physical changes that people around him view as 'monstrous', 'unnatural' and 'deformed'. That ring any bells? As a trans guy it sure does for me, as Abigail Shrier in her infamous book Irreversible Damage claims that trans guys have a 'bulldozed female profile' and says over and over that we are mutilating ourselves and having our womanly features stripped from us as if we didn't choose this for ourselves.

So please, can we reclaim Voldemort? We can really expand him as a character, it's incredibly easy. I don't condone his wizard nazi views, but we can give this complex, multifaceted, nebulous being the respect and depth that he truly deserves. what do think?

[libellule-ao3]

Little Shenanigans

T-rated | One-Shot | 1 060 words |

Summary: Gossip about her relationship with Quinn is getting on Merula's nerves, and she's determined to divert attention from the rabble.

Pairing: Merula/Quinn (F/F)

Also on AO3

A/N: The adorable Quinn Lee in this story is the property of the no less adorable @eternalchaoschocolaterain, to whom I dedicate this ficlet.💝

I invite you to take a look at her work via the link above, if you don't already know her.

Enjoy!

Masterlist

Rumours about the nature of their relationship spread around Hogwarts castle like flu in December or like cursed Howlers with a Geminio curse.

The image always made Quinn laugh a lot. She couldn’t help imagining thousands of Howlers screaming indiscretions invading every corner of the castle, filled with students - and teachers! - eager for gossip to distract them from everyday life.

Quinn was very amused by the situation, but not so his girlfriend, who did nothing to hide her annoyance, turning her artificial violet eyes, and sometimes even her wand, on anyone who dared to talk behind her back in order to feel more important than the most powerful witch at Hogwarts.

“Don’t these idiots have anything better to do than spend all their time gossiping about every little thing we do?” she would get angry during their secret meetings. "They piss me off!"

Merula appreciated the attention of others for her prowess in the various fields of witchcraft. She loved to arouse admiration and made no secret of it. But she hated the constant attention paid to her private life, which aroused not admiration but unhealthy curiosity mixed with a healthy dose of intolerable judgement. Not because she loved a young woman - wizards were much more tolerant than Muggles in that respect - but because she was the daughter of a famous couple of Death Eaters.

“Let them tell it,” said Quinn, who had been used to being the centre of attention since she started at Hogwarts. “They’ll get bore. Protesting is just another way of drawing attention to ourselves.”

Merula wasn’t convinced. This had been going on for far too long. Days, weeks... months!

So, to encourage the populace to find something else to spice up their miserable conversations, Merula redoubled her efforts to show everyone that Quinn wasn’t worthy of her and that their reports weren’t worth public display. To no avail... Until the day when the two young women faced off in a fierce duel won by the witch of Slytherin.

Now there were more whispers:

“Did you see that? The beating she gave Quinn in that supposedly ‘friendly’ duel?” said an anonymous voice.

“Yes, that time I really thought she was going to kill her. It’s a good thing Barnaby intervened,” replied another indiscreet pupil.

“Speaking of which, don’t you think it’s suspicious? I mean, it’s not the first time Barnaby has been used as a human shield by Quinn. And the way he’s looking at her with those puppy dog eyes begging for a treat...” added another.

“Do you think he wants to go out with her?” said the first.

“Maybe, but I hear he’s already going out with Liz. Peeves overheard Penny telling Andre that Ismelda was furious after she caught them together feeding the giant squid,” informed a new arrival.

And on and on it went... Rumours were like fucking germs spread by the voices of people, using their ears to accumulate as much dirt as possible.

Thinking about all this, Merula tightened her embrace around Quinn’s aching body as she lay on a bed in the infirmary, injured after their terrible confrontation. The witch felt relieved to no longer be the victim of Hogwarts’ indiscretions.Quinn could not hold back a grimace.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you were that fragile,” Merula taunted bitingly.

Like hedgehogs, the witch always prickled up when she was going through a phase of insecurity, and Quinn had learned long ago to decipher all the facets of her personality.

“You’ve got to admit you didn’t pull any punches!” grumbled Quinn, before letting out a weary sigh and leaning back against her.

“We won’t soon have to play this comedy again: today I overheard Haywood telling everyone that the only thing we shared was the air we breathed and that if it were up to me, I’d make you disappear so as not to have you in my landscape, like that!” said Merula with a wolfish grin and snapping her fingers for emphasis.

“That bad? But what did you say to her to make her believe it?”

The young woman buried her blushing face in her girlfriend’s sparse hair, muttering something to do with her contempt for the insignificance of witches who were valued more for their celebrity than their talent.

Quinn burst out laughing, recognising in these words the bite of his girlfriend as she placed her lips at the base of his neck.

“You’re exaggerating! I remind you that we agreed that I would let you win this duel!”

“It doesn’t matter! Our strategy worked and I won’t have to abuse you any more!” teased Merula, redrawing a bruise on her girlfriend’s cheek with a delicate index finger.

“You can’t imagine how much I’ll miss it!

“So you like pain?”

Quinn straightened up, and with one smooth movement, reversed their positions on the bed. Now she towered over Merula, who gazed at her with a mixture of astonishment and defiance.

“No, I'm more of a revenge-seeking type,” Quinn announced mischievously, leaning down to place a bevy of kisses from her temple to her lips.

During the kiss, Quinn felt herself waver, and she forgot where they were, who they were. The entire universe was reduced to this infirmary, to Merula’s mouth and her hands studying her body like no one had ever done before. Nimble fingers slipped under the thin fabric of her shirt, slid down her stomach, making her skin quiver under the coolness of her palms.

“You’d better go. Madam Pomfrey will be back soon,” Quinn whispered against Merula’s lips.

“Lee promised to keep watch!” Merula protested, in the incisive tone she always used when her desires were thwarted.

“That’s true, but we shouldn’t abuse it. It’s nice enough that he’s our accomplice.”

“You’re not wrong,” admitted Merula, inwardly congratulating herself on Barnaby’s naïve disregard for public opinion.

She gave her girlfriend one last kiss before rising from her bed.

“By the way, maybe we should thank him: he was perfect in his role!” said Quinn.

Yes, that's true! Merula mused, frowning. Barnaby was soooo perfect in his role that he managed to irritate the most powerful witch at Hogwarts!

“But we should clear up a thing or two!” she exclaimed, her voice heavy with resentment.

“When you asked for his help, you should have clarified that he didn’t have to carry you like a bride!”

[theradicalkanji]

I have An Issue.

I've been doing a lot of writing on a series that I do. I have maybe 4 new fics ready to go. But I don't want to post any of them.

One potential chapter is a prequel chapter focusing on a character who has only really existed in the periphery. The chapter is done, but if I post that I'd want to do the second half of the prequel stuff, and I don't feel like doing that (even tho most of the second part of that prequel stuff is already written) I guess I really just want a lull in everyone else's plot lines before I do a non sequitur with a character that hasn't been officially introduced yet.

The other stuff I have written is some just kinda cutesy slice of life stuff with two of the characters. This works well as a self contained chapter, but it feels like it needs to happen later in the timeline. So for reference. The last chapter that was posted is when Noah moves in with Simon. This chapter is a casual scene after Noah and Simon get adjusted to being roomies.

Other chapter I have been working on is a date scene with Trevor and Simon. I feel like this would have to happen before the Simon/Noah casual scene since the dialogue in the date is a lot to do with Simon and Trevor kinda being like "wow. It's been wild lately. Haven't had time to ourselves in a while" and just kinda decompressing from everything that has been going on.

Minor issue with this, which doesn't necessarily need to be addressed, but there's a mention or two that this has to be a few days after the previous chapter(s) since the timeline wouldn't make sense for it to be immediately after the chapter that I already posted.

Which brings us to perhaps the cruc of the issue.

The chapter I have posted most recently is Noah moving in with Simon and Trevor. All the main characters sort of regroup at Simon's apartment and then go their separate ways. During all of this, Devon and Ashton are being kinda flirty and feisty with one another. They're like officially a couple now and... I wouldn't call it sexual tension because it's not a will they/won't they thing it's a "as soon as they get back to their place the pants are coming off" thing going on.

In the chapter I posted to patrone but not posted publicly yet, the story follows them as they break off from the group, get some food on their way back home, and it's a lot of cutesy date stuff with an undercurrent of them both being ready to get down when they get back to Ashton's place.

I just... Haven't felt like writing an actual sex scene lately. It's kinda funny since the story started as a vehicle for mildly smut, but then like. Starting in chapter 3 I started adding more side characters, and then started adding a lot of slice of life stuff and the characters really came alive and it's hard to get them to do anything I ask them to do so I kinda have up a while ago on planning plot beats in advance and now I just sorr of put them in a situation and see how they react.

It's been a couple weeks since I updated and I know I need to move things along, but the scene I keep writing like every scene but the one I SHOULD be doing.