#i just felt like adding a lot to situate ourselves

[bradshawsbaby]

Like Peas in a Pod

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader

Summary: What happens when two wallflowers find each other?

Word Count: 5.7k

Author’s Note: I admit that this story is extremely self-indulgent. But I have a feeling that a lot of people can relate to what our leading lady goes through, and I hope you can find pieces of yourself in her!

Warnings: Mild angst, social awkwardness, feeling overlooked, alcohol consumption, flirting, fluff.

If you’d had it your way, you would be at home right now, curled up on the couch in a pair of cozy pajamas with a good book and a steaming cup of tea in hand. But instead, your friends had outnumbered you 3-1 and you were currently sitting in the middle of a noisy, crowded bar, the patrons loudly competing with the music that was blaring through the speakers.

“Do we have to go out tonight?” you’d groaned over FaceTime a few hours earlier. “It’s been such a long week. Can’t we just do a wine night and put on some movies?”

“We did that last week!” Shawna argued. “C’mon, I just got my nails done. Don’t let it be for nothing,” she teased, wiggling her manicured fingers in front of the camera.

“Besides,” Kelsey chimed in, “like you said, it has been a long week. We deserve a night out to unwind and treat ourselves.”

“Hopefully we’ll find other people to treat us,” Renee added cheekily, tossing her unruly dark curls over her shoulder as she winked.

“Besides, the girls at work told me this is a really fun bar. Apparently it’s where all the hotties from North Island go after work,” Shawna giggled.

Your former college roommate had just started a new nursing job at Naval Medical Center San Diego, so if anyone was going to know where the hot Navy guys spent their off hours, it would be her.

“It’s settled! We’re going to The Hard Deck, ladies,” Renee grinned, blowing you all a kiss. “Meet at my place at 8 and we’ll Uber over.”

As much as you would have preferred to stay at home tonight, you had to admit that Shawna hadn’t been wrong. From the moment you’d stepped foot inside The Hard Deck, you’d been amazed at the sheer number of attractive men crowding the space. You certainly never found men like this when you hit the bars downtown.

Renee, ever the mastermind when it came to scoping out the most advantageous situations, quickly managed to grab your group a table smack in the middle of the room. It had an excellent vantage point that not only made you most visible to the bar’s patrons, but also gave you a perfect view of the pool table, the dart boards, and the bar all at once.

“Cheers, ladies!” Kelsey exclaimed once you were all seated with your first round of drinks. “And a special toast to Shawna for telling us about this place!” she added with a grin, holding up her glass of hard cider.

The rest of you held up your drinks—Renee had opted for a bottle of Coors, Shawna had gone with an IPA, and you had chosen a High Noon—and clinked them together with a celebratory “Cheers!”

“Tonight’s the night that you’re finally going to find yourself a man,” Shawna told you, turning to you and playfully poking you in the side.

“Yes, it is!” Renee nodded in agreement, winking at you from across the table as she took a sip of her beer.

“Take your pick, babe,” Kelsey added, waving her hand to encompass the whole bar. “I’ve literally never seen so many gorgeous guys all in one place. And in uniform, too!”

You felt the back of your neck prickling and your skin growing warm at your friends’ expectant stares, a weak smile gracing your lips as you took a sip of your drink. It always ended up being like this. You loved your friends, and you knew they meant well, but they had no idea what it was like to be in your shoes.

The four of you had been best friends since college, despite the fact that you couldn’t have been more different from one another if you tried. Kelsey always joked that your four personalities combined helped to balance each other out.

Despite their differences in looks, style, and demeanor, Shawna, Renee, and Kelsey did all have one thing in common that you had never seemed to possess—the ability to turn men’s heads no matter where they were.

Shawna had the perfectly sweet girl-next-door vibe going on. With her strawberry blonde locks, big blue eyes, dusting of freckles, and curvy figure, she always attracted guys like bees to a flower.

At any given time, Kelsey looked like she had just walked off the runway. Even in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, she managed to look chic. With her tall, willowy figure, sleek dark brown bob, almond-shaped eyes, and lips that never needed lipstick, she had men drooling all over her.

Arguably the most exuberant member of the group was Renee, who had been a firecracker for as long as you had known her. The only thing bigger than her laugh was her smile, and she had the most gorgeous ebony curls that contrasted perfectly with her cinnamon-colored skin. Paired with her petite figure, she drew men in like moths to a flame.

And then there was you. Quiet, shy, bookish you. Throughout college, people had often commented that you seemed like the most grounded out of all your friends, but you knew what that really meant. You were boring. And you knew what people were really trying to say—how had you become friends with such fun-loving girls?

You loved your friends more than anything, and you were grateful for the ways they’d helped you come out of your shell since college. But you’d be lying if you said going out to bars with them wasn’t challenging at times.

They all knew how to light up a room, how to flirt and talk to random strangers and get phone numbers from the hottest men you’d ever seen. You—didn’t know how to do any of that.

You’d tried over the years, you really had. Mainly at the girls’ insistence. You made an effort to flirt with the guys they introduced you to, or strike up conversations with  random cuties at your favorite coffee shop, but it never seemed to work for you the way that it did for your friends. And guys never approached you the way they did Shawna and Kelsey and Renee.

The most painful experience had been a couple months ago, when a guy had come up to you while you were waiting to order a drink, smiling and chatting in a way that had you thinking he was interested. Your heart had soared inside your chest, only to crash a few moments later when he asked, “So, is your friend single?” while pointing at Kelsey.

You hadn’t told any of your friends about that encounter. You knew they’d just feel bad and you didn’t want them to. They were desperate to find somebody for you, and you didn’t have the heart to tell them that you’d given up hoping for that a long time ago. They just wouldn’t understand. They went on dates all the time. You were just the one guys approached to inquire after their relationship statuses.

“Don’t give us that look,” Renee told you, shaking her head and pointing an accusatory finger at you as you attempted to slink down in your seat. “You look hot tonight, and you need to show it off!”

“You do,” Shawna nodded vehemently, nudging you in the side again until you sat up straight. “I love that top.”

“See? I told you it was a solid purchase,” Kelsey winked, as she had been the one to convince you to buy the top in question when the two of you had gone shopping a couple weeks ago.

Despite your lack of hopefulness, you had put a good deal of effort into your appearance tonight. You couldn’t help it. A bar full of hot guys in sexy uniforms? You’d be crazy not to try. You’d spent over an hour on your hair and make-up, and had decided to finally take the tags off the top Kelsey had convinced you to buy. The neckline flattered your figure and hugged your body in all the right places. You’d coupled it with a pair of high-waisted jeans and strappy sandals to show off your pedicure. Even you had to admit that you looked good, but you still hadn’t seemed to catch the eye of any guy in the bar.

“Let’s just enjoy the night and focus on us,” you said, trying to deflect your friends’ intense attention. “If anybody else happens to come along, then so be it.”

The girls all shot you dissatisfied looks, but didn’t push the point any further. Shawna started regaling you all with stories from her new job, which allowed you to let out a soft sigh of relief.

As the night went on, you tried your best not to grow discouraged, but it was getting harder and harder. Countless guys had passed by your table, stopping to flirt with Renee or Kelsey or Shawna, or even all three, but their eyes skipped over you like you were invisible. Whenever your friends tried to direct their attention your way, they smiled politely before instantly turning back to the actual objects of their attraction. Every time you got up to use the bathroom or order another round at the bar, you attempted to smile and make eye contact and appear open and interested, all the things your friends had been telling you to do for years, but none of it worked.

At that point, all you wanted to do was go home, put on your pajamas, and live vicariously through a good rom com.

You were about to tell your friends that you were going to get going when one of the bartenders—if you’d heard correctly earlier, she might have been the owner—approached your table with a tray full of drinks, a smile gracing her lovely face.

“Ladies, these are for you,” she said, setting down a cider for Kelsey, a Coors for Renee, an IPA for Shawna, and a High Noon for you.

“Oh,” Shawna said, her blue eyes widening in surprise. “I think there might have been a mistake. We didn’t order another round, did we?” she asked, looking at the rest of you.

“Not that we won’t take them,” Renee chimed in with that bright laugh of hers.

The woman smiled at the four of you. “No mistake. These drinks are compliments of the group over there,” she chuckled, pointing at a group of officers clustered around the pool table.

The four of you turned your gazes in the direction she was pointing, your friends letting out various sounds of delighted surprise when they realized the men in question looked as though they had just been featured on the cover of Men’s Health magazine.

“Oh, we’ll definitely take them!” Renee beamed, flipping her dark curls over her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Kelsey grinned up at the older woman gratefully.

“Of course,” she nodded, tucking her empty tray under her arm. She leaned in a little closer with a conspiratorial smile and whispered, “I’ll vouch for the fact that they’re good guys. But if they act like idiots, just come find me. My name is Penny.”

“Thanks, Penny,” Shawna giggled, reaching for her new drink. “We owe you one!”

Penny winked at you before heading back to the bar, which was surrounded by thirsty customers. Business was booming. If Penny was the owner as you suspected, then she must have been doing quite well.

“Should we go thank them for the drinks?” Shawna grinned, chewing on her lower lip as she glanced in the direction of the handsome officers at the pool table.

“Not yet,” Renee decided, smirking mischievously. “We’ll let them sweat it out a little bit first.”

“Renee!” Kelsey laughed, lightly smacking her on the arm.

“What? You know it’ll work. They’ll be eating out of the palms of our hands,” Renee grinned, taking a hearty sip of her Coors.

“They look cute,” you ventured, though your palms were already sweating at the thought of approaching them. You highly doubted any of them would be eating out of your clammy palms.

Clearly you shouldn’t have said anything, because suddenly all three of your friends were pouncing on you like ravenous wolves.

“Which one do you think is the cutest?”

“Do you see one you like?”

“Claim one now before we get over there!”

Their words loudly overlapped one another, to the point that you had to resist the urge to cover your ears with your hands.

“I—I—I don’t know!” you exclaimed, feeling your skin grow warm with embarrassment. You hated being the center of attention. “I just meant—I mean, they look cute for you guys.”

“Um, last I checked, you were just as single as the rest of us. Why wouldn’t they be cute for you, too?” Kelsey demanded, raising one of her perfectly waxed eyebrows.

“Please, you guys, let’s just drop it. I’m probably going to start heading home soon anyway,” you told them, sliding down in your seat and wishing the ground would swallow you whole.

“What? No, you can’t!” Renee and Shawna practically cried in unison.

“C’mon, we’ll go over to them now,” Renee decided, grabbing her drink and her purse. “You can’t leave yet,” she insisted.

Kelsey and Shawna nodded, grabbing their things and following suit, nearly having to drag you out of your seat to get you to come with them.

“Well, well, well, fellas,” smirked a blonde-headed officer as the four of you approached the pool table. “Looks like our little gift didn’t go unnoticed after all.”

Glancing down quickly, you spotted the name printed on his nameplate—Seresin. He was extremely handsome in that clean-cut, All-American way, with his perfectly coiffed blonde hair, sparkling green eyes, and charming smile.

Renee, who always ended up being your group’s fearless leader, smirked in return as she stepped to the head of the pack. “Well, well, well, ladies. Looks like the guys who sent us those drinks aren’t half bad after all,” she said, resting a hand on her hip as she gazed up at the blonde man, challenge twinkling in her dark eyes. “Even if they weren’t brave enough to come bring us the drinks themselves.”

Kelsey and Shawna stood on either side of her, giggling softly, while you hung near the back, staring down at your feet as your cheeks burned hot.

“Most of us aren’t half bad. I can’t speak for Hangman here,” another voice piped up, deep and gravelly. You could sense, rather than see, Kelsey’s ears pricking up at the sound.

Glancing up, you saw another handsome man standing before you, looking every inch Kelsey’s type with his sunkissed brown hair, broad shoulders, tanned skin, and easygoing smile. If you knew Kelsey, you knew she was already imagining what that mustache would feel like against her lips. You clocked his nameplate as well—Bradshaw.

“Hangman?” Renee asked coquettishly, quirking an eyebrow as she glanced between the two men.

“My callsign,” the blonde cut in smoothly, pool cue still in hand. It was clear that while he and Bradshaw might be buddies, there was still a sense of competition between the two.

“Ah, callsigns. You’re fighter pilots,” Shawna commented, grinning knowingly. Thank goodness for her job at NMCSD. She was much more in the know than any of the rest of you.

“Not just any fighter pilots. The best fighter pilots,” came another voice from the other side of the pool table. When Hangman stepped to the side, you saw it belonged to a guy whose jawline looked like it could cut glass and whose smile could melt butter. His nameplate read Machado.

“Oh, yeah?” Kelsey asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “And who determines that?”

“The Navy,” Bradshaw replied smoothly, stepping a little closer to your statuesque friend. “We’re all TOPGUN graduates. The top 1%.”

“Hmm, and humble, too,” Kelsey laughed, delicately resting her hand on his arm as she did so. “So what’s your callsign then?”

“Rooster,” the mustached man told her, chest puffing out with pride. “But I’m being awfully rude. I didn’t catch your name,” he said, holding out his large hand.

“Kelsey,” she replied, her dark eyes twinkling as she slipped her hand into his.

You watched as, almost instantly, your friends partnered off quite naturally with the handsome aviators. Renee and Hangman were already bickering about the best way to sink the 8 ball, Kelsey and Rooster were talking about music near the window, and Shawna was flirting up a storm with Machado, whose callsign turned out to be Coyote.

Your stomach sank as you realized that you were suddenly on your own. As usual. Not that you resented your friends getting to flirt with cute guys. You always cheered them on when they met someone new, and you were always there to celebrate with them. You just wished that, for once, they had a reason to celebrate with you.

Glancing around, you saw that there were several other officers hanging around the pool table, though most of them seemed to be engrossed in their own conversations. No one was paying you any mind. And suddenly you felt like crying.

What was wrong with you? Was there something about you that just naturally repelled handsome men? Your friends were constantly telling you how beautiful you were, but that was hard to believe when you were the only one who never got hit on, never got asked out, never felt special or seen by anybody.

It was time to go home. You could feel the tears stinging the backs of your eyes, and the last thing you needed was to start bawling in the middle of a Navy bar. No one would notice if you just slipped away. You’d text your friends in the Uber and ask them to let you know how the rest of their night went. It always ended up being like this, and you weren’t sure why you had thought tonight would be any different.

Silently leaving your drink on the table with your friends’ things, you turned and began snaking your way through the crowd, trying to get to the bar so that you could close out your tab. Before you could get there, however, someone bumped into you from behind, sending your purse flying out of your hands.

Sighing softly, you dropped down to your hands and knees, praying you wouldn’t get stomped on as you tried to reach for it. Just as your hand was hovering over it, however, a much larger hand closed down around it and lifted it up.

Before you could shout for help, that same hand was hovering in front of your face, silently offering to help you up off the sticky bar floor. You lifted your head and your heart skipped a beat at the man who was gazing down at you. He had sandy brown hair, big blue eyes magnified behind a pair of military-issued glasses, and ruddy cheeks, an uncertain smile on his handsome face.

Wordlessly, you took his hand and allowed him to pull you back up to your feet. He was even taller than you had originally thought from your position down on the ground.

“Are you alright?” he asked loudly, trying to be heard over the din of the crowd.

“Yes,” you yelled back, nodding your head on the off-chance he hadn’t heard you. “Thank you,” you added.

“I’m guessing you were looking for this?” he went on, holding up your purse in his other hand.

You nodded again, accepting your bag with a grateful smile. “I guess I’m just a klutz,” you told him sheepishly, the realization dawning that this man had literally just witnessed you crawling on a grimy bar floor.

He smiled in response, which only made him look all the more handsome. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said, shaking his head. “Someone bumped into you.”

He had seen that? Had he actually been paying attention to you? Or did he just happen to be nearby?

“Well, thank you. I appreciate it,” you murmured, nervously fiddling with one of your bracelets as you glanced over at the bar.

He followed your gaze, his expression conflicted. “Well I don’t want to hold you up,” he told you, sounding vaguely disappointed.

Your head whipped back in his direction. “Oh, no! I mean, you’re not. I was just trying to get to the bar to close my tab.”

Were you losing your mind or did he really look disappointed now?

“Oh, you’re leaving?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder. “I, um, I thought I saw you with the girls who were hanging out with my friends,” he explained, indicating the group at the pool table with his thumb.

He was a part of that group? Was this a sign that maybe you shouldn’t leave after all?

“Oh, um, yeah,” you nodded, chewing on your bottom lip as you tried to think of what to say. “I just, um…well, it’s kind of loud in here and I just…” Your sentence trailed off as you realized how lame you sounded.

“Would you like to maybe go outside for a minute?” he suggested. When you hesitated, he stammered, “I mean, of course you don’t have to. I’m sorry. I mean, obviously you just want to get out of here and I’m—”

“No,” you cut him off, briefly brushing your fingers against his arm. “I mean, I would like that,” you clarified with a shy smile.

“Oh,” he blinked, looking a little surprised. But then he brightened instantly, his bright blue eyes shining as he smiled at you in return. “I’m Bob, by the way. Bob Floyd,” he introduced himself, holding out his hand to you.

Slipping your hand into his, you smiled wider as you told him your name, beaming when he repeated it back to you and told you it was pretty.

“So do you have a callsign, too, Bob?” you asked curiously as he led you through the crowd and towards one of the back doors that faced the beach. “Your friends were telling me and my friends their callsigns earlier.”

“Oh, um, yeah,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck as he held open the door that led to a little back patio with picnic tables. It was relatively empty, except for a few people hanging out in the sand. “My callsign is Bob. Original, I know,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh, as if he was used to being made fun of for it.

In that instant, you felt a deep sense of connectedness to him that you couldn’t explain. Maybe it was the way he ducked his head and averted his gaze, like he was trying to hide, or the way he nervously shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose, but you were suddenly certain that no one understood what it felt like to be in your shoes more than he did. To be overlooked, forgotten, underestimated. To be uncomfortable in your own skin because you were so certain you were never going to be enough for people.

“I like it,” you told him with a smile.

“Thank you,” he replied sincerely, looking caught off guard and surprised by your words once again.

The two of you wandered over to one of the picnic tables and took seats opposite each other, the fairy lights strung up outside illuminating his features as he gazed at you.

“Is this your first time at The Hard Deck?” he asked curiously, resting his elbows on the table. “I feel like I’d remember seeing you.”

You bit down on your lower lip to hide your smile, his words warming you from the inside out. “It is, actually. It was my friend Shawna’s idea to come tonight. She just recently started working at NMCSD and some of her co-workers told her this was a good spot.”

“It is,” Bob nodded, smiling at you. “Penny Benjamin, the owner, is a good woman and she always makes sure to look out for us.”

“I’m guessing this is a regular spot for you guys then?” you questioned, glancing up and spotting your friends through one of the windows. They looked like they were still having a good time with the aviators they’d found.

“Pretty much, yeah,” he chuckled. “It’s been almost a year since I’ve been back in San Diego. I was at TOPGUN a few years ago, then got stationed at Lemoore, then got called back to TOPGUN last October for a special mission, then got asked to stay on permanently with my new squadron. The Hard Deck has become like a second home,” he joked.

You laughed softly, charmed by the way he told you the story without a trace of arrogance or conceit. Clearly, he was one of the Navy’s best pilots if he had been called to TOPGUN not once, but twice, but he wasn’t bragging or boasting. He was just stating the facts.

As if he could read your mind, Bob explained, “I’m actually not a pilot. I’m a Weapons Systems Officer. I ride in the rear of the jet and deal with navigation and operating the aircraft system. I wanted to be a pilot when I was young, but my vision’s always been a problem. I’m proud to be a WSO though. And I have a great partner.”

“I think that sounds really impressive,” you told him honestly, reaching out and resting your hand over his. “I’m sure that takes a tremendous amount of skill and talent. If it was up to me, we’d never make it off the ground,” you grinned.

Bob smiled in return. “I’m sure you’d get the hang of it real quick. You seem really smart,” he said, the tips of his ears turning red as he ducked his head slightly. “So, uh, what do you do?”

“I’m a teacher,” you replied. “I teach history to middle schoolers.”

“Now that’s something I’m sure takes a tremendous amount of skill and talent. Just the thought of middle schoolers terrifies me,” he admitted, which made both of you laugh. “And history, too, huh? I love history. It was always my favorite subject in school.”

“Really?” you asked excitedly. It was rare that you found someone who enjoyed geeking out over history as much as you did.

“Absolutely. If I hadn’t gone into the Navy, I would have loved working in a museum or something. Maybe being a teacher, but like I said—middle schoolers terrify me,” he grinned, his eyes crinkling.

“There’s always high school,” you pointed out with a smile.

“Even worse!” he exclaimed, which made you dissolve into a fit of giggles.

The two of you sat in companionable silence for a few moments, taking in the sound of the ocean waves and the faint trickle of music coming from inside the bar.

“Is that a piano?” you asked when the sound of the music registered in your ears.

“Sounds like Rooster is already trying to show off to your friend,” Bob teased, glancing over his shoulder as the door opened and a small group of rowdy sailors made their way outside.

“Trust me, Kelsey is probably eating it all up right now,” you assured him with a knowing look.

“My friends are very smooth with the ladies, but they’re also good guys, I promise. Your friends are in good hands,” he told you.

“It’s funny, Penny told us the same thing earlier,” you said.

“Ah, well, no one’s more trustworthy than Penny,” Bob smiled.

You nodded and the two of you sat in silence once again. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, however. You didn’t feel the need to fill it with awkward chatter. You were more than happy to just sit there with him, enjoying the cool evening air and listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

Bob looked like something was on his mind, like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. When you met his eyes and cocked your head to the side curiously, however, he seemed to come to a decision.

“Why were you going to leave?”

You were a little taken aback by his question and immediately dropped your gaze to your lap, fiddling with the strap of your purse and trying to figure out how to answer his question in a way that didn’t make you sound completely pathetic.

“I’m sorry, that’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have asked that,” Bob chastised himself, shaking his head. “Please, just forget it.”

“No, um, it’s okay,” you reassured him, clearing your throat slightly. You suddenly wished you had thought to grab a cup of water before coming outside. “Um, I guess I just realized that my friends were really hitting it off with your friends, and I didn’t see any point in sticking around any longer.”

Bob seemed troubled by your response, a small crease appearing between his brows. “Wasn’t there anybody for you to talk to?”

You turned your face away in embarrassment. Things had been going so well. You didn’t want Bob to know what a wallflower you truly were.

“Um, no, not really. My friends are the ones guys usually want to talk to,” you admitted quietly, your voice nearly drowned out by the wind. Your mouth felt so dry, and your hands were sweaty as you wiped them against your jeans.

Bob fully frowned at that. “Guys should be lined up out the door to talk to you,” he said softly, his voice serious.

“That’s sweet of you to say,” you murmured, staring down at the table instead of meeting his eyes.

“I’m not just saying it,” Bob insisted, his tone so urgent that it actually caused you to lift your head up to look at him. “You’re sweet and kind and funny and smart and so beautiful. Guys would have to be insane not to want to talk to you. I’m honestly shocked you’re out here talking to me of all people.”

“Don’t say that,” you begged him, your heart hurting to think that other women didn’t appreciate the wonderful man sitting before you.

“I know that I’m not like my friends,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he blushed furiously. “I know I’m not the kind of guy that girls want to talk to. So I know what it’s like to feel like you could just disappear in a place like this and nobody would notice. I hate that you feel that way, too.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his words. You had never met anyone before who seemed to know your thoughts so clearly, who could read your mind and understand everything you were feeling.

“Bob,” you breathed out, reaching across the table and clasping one of his hands between both of yours. “I think you’re a terrific guy. And the girls who can’t see that? It’s their loss.”

He smiled at that, his gaze fixed on your face as he rested his free hand over yours, brushing your knuckles with his thumb. “I’m really glad you didn’t leave.”

“I’m really glad you asked me to stay.”

He said nothing in response, just held your hand tighter as his blue eyes bore into yours, as if he was reading the very depths of your soul.

The air hung thick with tension as the two of you stared at one another, leaning in closer and closer until your lips had no choice but to meet, his mouth firm, but gentle as it closed over yours.

It was soft and sweet and chaste, but when the two of you pulled back, you were both stammering and blushing like a couple of schoolchildren.

The stillness of the moment was broken a moment later when your friends shoved open the door and spilled out onto the back patio.

“There you are!” Renee exclaimed, hands on her hips as she did her best impression of your mother. “You had us scared half to death!”

“I told you she was fine,” Shawna insisted, rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘Sorry!’ to you.

“See? Nothing to be worried about,” Kelsey added. “She’s with…” She let her sentence trail off, shooting you a look to make quick introductions.

“Um, Bob! This is Bob,” you quickly supplied, squeezing his hand and shooting him an apologetic look.

“She’s with Bob!” Kelsey said, poking Renee in the side.

“Floyd, there you are! We were wondering where the hell you got off to,” Hangman said, joining your group and wrapping an arm around Renee’s waist.

“I guess they did notice we disappeared after all,” you whispered to Bob with a knowing smile.

“Of course we did!” Kelsey butted in, smiling when Rooster stepped up behind her and slipped his hand into hers.

“We were all going to head back to my place for a midnight swim,” Shawna explained, beaming up at Coyote. Your friend’s apartment complex was the only one that had a pool, and her landlord was cool enough to allow residents to use it whenever they wanted, so long as they were mindful of the noise. “Invite your friend!”

Your cheeks grew warm as everyone stared at you expectantly. “Um, Bob, would you like to come swimming with us?”

“I’d love to,” Bob grinned, his eyes fixed on you and only you.

Your friends clapped and cheered, which made your cheeks grow all the hotter.

“C’mon, let’s go close our tabs. Jake’s paying for the Ubers,” Renee smirked, patting the blonde’s chest as she gazed up at him.

“Aww, thanks, Jake,” Coyote grinned, smacking his friend on the shoulder as he and Shawna headed back inside.

“Owe you one, man,” Rooster nodded, leading Kelsey back into the bar.

“Hey, wait a second—”

“That’s what you get for losing two rounds of pool,” Renee teased, planting a kiss on his cheek before dragging him back inside.

Once you and Bob were left alone in the blessed silence once more, you looked at each other and couldn’t help but crack up laughing.

“I think your friends have really met their matches in my friends,” you told him playfully, gathering your things and rising from the picnic table.

“I think so,” Bob nodded, rising as well. “But I think I really met my match in you.”

Smiling, you slipped your hand into his and beamed up at him. “I couldn’t agree more.”

And as you walked out of The Hard Deck hand-in-hand with Bob, catching the victorious looks and playful winks your friends were shooting your way, you found yourself very grateful for all the times it had never worked out for you before this. Because you were certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bob Floyd had been worth waiting for.

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Four sighed, taking a sip of his beer as he looked at the embers glowing and crackling in Time’s fire pit. “I hate seeing people in pain and not being able to do anything about it.”

Sky glanced at his friend, wondering where that statement came from. Nobody said anything for a moment, and then Legend piped up.

“Yet you chose to work in a surgical-trauma ICU where everyone is in pain all the time,” he quipped with a little playful smirk to take the edge of the sarcasm.

Warriors snickered, leaning back in his chair, beer bottle held lazily between his fingers. Sky almost laughed at the sight of it, recalling that he and Hyrule had been refilling the bottle with water after their friend’s first drink. The army nurse hadn’t commented on the matter.

“Oh shut up,” Four laughed as well. “I know I set myself up for this. But I… I wanted to help. And I wanted to do nursing that made me feel like I was thinking through puzzles and able to focus on as few patients as possible so I could really get into taking care of things. And I like the thrill of it. But…”

He trailed off a moment, looking around at the group relaxing by the fire pit. Twilight paused briefly in the act of throwing another log on the fire, glancing at Four, before finishing the action, sending sparks showering into the air briefly. Time and Malon watched Four quietly, bundled together under a plaid blanket, Malon’s head on Time’s shoulder. Warriors perked up from his slumped position, head tilting towards the ICU nurse while Legend’s playful smile faded. Wild and Wind paused from eating their s’mores to give Four their attention while Hyrule sat up from where he’d been laying in a burrito of blankets on the grass.

Sky watched Four try to ask what he wanted, and as much as he wanted to prompt his friend he knew to wait.

“Does it ever get better?” Four finally asked. “The compassion fatigue. I’ve only been in nursing a short while and I can already feel it. Am… am I done?”

Sky bit his tongue, remembering when he’d asked Legend a similar question. But Sky had been through a war and had been flying sick, injured, and dying patients for years now. Four was still a fairly new nurse, wasn’t he?

He supposed it didn’t matter. Everyone’s exposure and experience was different. Four very clearly was uneasy about this.

Warriors spoke up first, sitting up. “It comes and goes, buddy.”

“Sometimes you just have to stop and remember they’re people,” Legend added. “We… you know, when everyone’s worst day is your workday you have to shut it off. It’s not…”

“We have to protect ourselves,” Sky picked up for his dear friend. “We suffer when they suffer. But if you let it get to you then you can’t focus on helping them. You’re not a bad person for doing that. For…”

Well. Were they bad people for feeling nothing when their patients were in pain?

Honestly, Sky knew there wasn’t a single person in this group who felt absolutely nothing. They just redirected what they felt into something else. Dark jokes to make a bad situation funny, frustration to turn strong emotions into rambling with coworkers… they all felt it somehow.

But it did make it hard to remember who they were taking care of sometimes.

Sky was grateful he just flew his helicopter. He wasn’t sure he could tolerate much more exposure than that, honestly.

“I don’t know if it ever gets better,” Warriors finally said. “It’s kind of just something you learn to live with.”

“I’ve seen nurses who have all the compassion in the world,” Twilight noted. “But I also have no idea how they do it, honestly.”

“Oh, you mean like you, Mr Biggest Bleeding Heart in the Room?” Legend remarked. “I bet you’re everyone’s favorite CNA over there. I don’t know how the hell you deal with sick kids day in and out.”

“It’s a lot easier when you’re the tech walking in and out of the room instead of the nurse responsible for that kid’s life,” Twilight argued mildly. “I mean, I do get attached and I want to take care of all of them, but I’m also so spread out it makes encounters shorter. So like… I don’t know, not as much burnout I guess. Except for the chronic kids.”

“Well, techs make a hell of a difference,” Four noted. “I’d be so screwed without you guys.”

“Back to the point,” Twilight frowned, waving a dismissive hand. “I’m sure even the kindest nurses have moments when they just can’t let themselves get hurt anymore. You’re not a jerk for being worn out from constantly watching people suffer.”

“What’s important, love, is getting out and having moments like this,” Malon piped up. “You boys all tend to self isolate when you’re not working, and all that does is make work your entire life. Take time for yourself but go out in the world too. We’re all here for each other. That’s why we had this tonight.”

Four sighed a little, glancing down at the fire. Sky elbowed him teasingly, smiling. “Hey. You can’t be any worse than Legend.”

The travel nurse perked up, face flushing and eyes wide with irritation as Warriors wheezed. “HEY!”

Everyone started to laugh while Legend rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. But Sky knew it was just theatrics; after all, he and Legend had talked about this very thing a few weeks ago.

Healthcare broke people. They all knew that. But a little crack here and there could be supported, one person holding the other up. Sky wasn’t sure how long any of them could last in any one area, but he knew they’d try to make it work.

[olivia2arsenal]

Lia Walti x Williamson! Reader - Everton

a/n: did say my other fic would be out on sunday but life’s just got really hectic so here’s a smaller one while i finish up with the other one

warnings: none!

————————————

i’ve known wally since forever, her and my older sister, leah, have been best friends since i could remember

just like my sister i had worked my way through the age ranks at arsenal before eventually making my debut at 18

i played along side leah as the cb duo and learnt so much off my older sister

there is a massive gap in our age difference between us two but that’s never really been a problem and if anything made our friendship stronger

wally and i had been seeing each other, much to leah’s dismay, off and on for a few months a couple of years ago before i eventually found the nervous and asked her to be my girlfriend

that’s how we found ourselves here today in a two year relationship and happy as ever

“i’ve got a bad feeling about today” wally said as she came and sat herself in my cubby, myself just finishing getting ready to go out into the tunnel

i knocked my knee against hers

“you’ll be fine wally, what’s making you feel like that?” i asked softly as i slipped my match shirt on

“someone’s going to get injured today” she shook her head, i placed my hand into hers and nudged her chin to look at me

“if it’s really distracting you then tell jonas and i’m sure you can sit this one out” i said softly as she shook her head

“it’s too soon until the match kicks off, i’ll be fine” she said as she pushed herself up and out of my cubby, making her way to the changing rooms door

yet she was far from fine…

—————

i remember every single detail of the injury

we were in the second half, lotte and me as the centre backs because leah was out with an injury

everton were on the outskirts of the box when lia pushed out too apply pressure

i watched her get the ball and start to dribble before aggies went studs up into her ankles

i winced at the tackle, wally immediately collapsing to the floor and letting out a scream

i was still far back from eveyone and could see everything going on, i watched how lotte and katie push aggie while other shouted at her

i got it, if it was another day with a player that wasn’t so young i probably would have done the exact same thing

but this was different, aggie was still learning, she didn’t mean the tackle and clearly was inexperienced

i’ve played with aggie at england and she’s the nicest person ever, she didn’t purposely mean to hurt lia and was just eager to prove herself

i also knew that she was most likely going to receive a lot of hate on social media from this

of course the first thing i wanted to do was make sure lia was alright but i had to make sure aggie was okay and take her away from this situation

i pushed katie and lotte out of the way while also pushing the few others that were letting their anger be known from their words

they had every right to be mad, as a team we were already struggling with injuries and this was another one added to the list

i wrapped my arm around aggie’s shoulder

“come on” i said sofltly as i walked her away from the situation, i could see the tears building up in her eyes as we separated ourselves from the massive group near the box

“i didn’t mean to y/n” she shook her head as she bent down and covered her face

“ay i know aggie, i know” i said as i pulled her back up and pulled her into a hug

“it’s a learning experience okay, wally will be okay and the girls are just caught up in the moment” i reassured her as i felt her nod against my shoulder

“you’re eager to prove yourself, that’s it, you weren’t purposely going for her ankle okay” i added as one of her teammates walked over and smiled gratefully at me

i let her take over as i jogged back over to wally, now my whole attention was on her

“where the fuck have you been?” katie snapped as i bent down next to lia and held her hand, trying to get her to take some of the pain relief

“not the fucking time katie” i said sternly back as lia looked up at me, my face softening when i saw her looking for reassurance in my eyes

“we will get through this together love” i said softly as i brushed some hair out of her face

“lia we are going to have to put you on a stretcher” the physio said as they started to move her onto the stretcher, wally wincing as they did

eventually they lifted her up on the stretcher and started to walk her to the tunnel, fans clapping for wally

aggie received a red card, as expected, and started to make her way to the tunnel- head down clearly still upset from it all

i patted her on the back as she passed me before the match continued, now having to fight the mental battle of wanting to go and see lia

————

i burst into the medical room where wally was, her eyes shooting up to mine and face softening once she saw it was me

“careful you’ll take the door of its hinges” she teased as i made my way over to her, eyes never leaving her ankle

“fuck wally” i muttered as she placed her hand under my chin and moved my eyes to hers

“i’ll be fine” she said softly as there was a knock on the door, both of us turning to the door

“hey, is it okay if i come in?” aggie asked as she popped her head into the room

“of course” wally smiled softly at her

“i just wanted to say sorry, i really never meant to hurt you” aggie apologised as she walked over

“i know you didn’t, i know you eager to prove yourself that’s all” lia reassured her softly

“that’s exactly what y/n said to me” aggie laughed slightly

“great minds thing alike” wally teased

“well i’ll leave you two alone, i just wanted to say sorry” aggie said while wally nodded with a soft smile

i walked aggie to the door, patting her on the shoulder and praising her for how mature she had been with the whole thing

i turned back around once she left and made my way back to wally, finding her hand with mine as we talked- trying to distract ourselves from her injury

“i’m proud of what you did today” wally said softly to me as i gave her a puzzled look

“instead of doing what the rest of the girls did, you looked after aggie and made sure she was okay before you came to me” wally said as she squeezed my hand gently

“i was once in her shoes, having done the exact same thing with the exact same reactions from the other players and it didn’t feel nice at all” i said shaking my head at the memory of when i was younger only just starting my professional career

we could only hope the hate aggie received online was going to be small…

—————————————

a/n: hope you all liked this, it was short but just wanted to get something out quickly!

[lurkingshan]

Another week, another struggle to wrangle my complicated thoughts about this beautiful show. In a way it feels fitting that we ended up watching and discussing this at a time when there was just so much happening around us in the real world that we are struggling to cope with. This story is, after all, mostly a meditation on grief and failure and finding small bits of hope among some truly bleak realities.

I've been thinking a lot this week about the pretty significant changes to this part of the story in the TV adaptation. This part departed the most from the novel, which makes sense since in the novel it was largely Young sitting in quiet introspection about his choices and regrets and where things went wrong. Not only was it emotionally dense, it was very interior in nature, necessitating some changes for the screen. Back when I first read it, I found hope in the fact that Young was finally processing his emotions rather than hiding from them despite the gut wrenching nature of this thoughts. The TV version doubled down on that bit of hope and amplified it.

The inclusion of the T-aras throughout continues to be the most consequential change to this story, and this week went even further in giving one of them, Eun Su, his own story. I've noodled quite a bit on Sang Young Park's purpose in adding this subplot about Eun Su's doomed engagement (and many indicators of his general disdain for marriage as a means to find happiness and security). The best interpretation I can offer is that, given the overall message in these final episodes that we can only find hope and true happiness by living wholly as ourselves, he wanted a parallel story that was about getting out of a relationship alongside Yeong wanting to be in one, to make it clear that his message is not about romance fixing anyone.

I also really enjoyed the Eun Su plot for keying into a very real dynamic of long term friendship group dynamics: those times when you suddenly grow closer to one person in your friend group because you are having a similar experience, or because you're the only ones in the group who can empathize with each other about a specific situation. Eun Su knew that among his friends, Yeong was the one who would understand his unhappiness in this relationship and not judge him for it, and for this period of time, their shared discontent and regrets brought them closer.

The way this thread came together with Yeong's regrets over Gyu-ho to prompt his reflections on what went wrong worked really well, and I liked the choice to end the show on a more explicitly hopeful note than the novel, as it felt fitting for its lighter tone throughout. Instead of leaving Yeong on a moment of deep regret as he thinks back to the lantern with Gyu-ho's name on it falling from the sky (Gyu-ho. My only wish.), we end with him celebrating with his friends on a rooftop, gazing up at fireworks in the sky, thinking of Gyu-ho with sadness but also naming his enduring wish for love with a smile.

[chaos-chloe]

Not Clooless Anymore

Summary: Fairly Clooless part2

TW: Cute moments, flirting, lmk if i missed anything

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden hue over the Texas landscape, painting the Texas sky with brilliant shades of orange and purple. I stepped out of my car, feeling the warm evening air kiss my toasty skin. I stood outside the familiar neon lights of Waffle House, a sense of excitement bubbling within my body. The day had been filled with the delightful chaos of the Texas fair—blaring music, the intoxicating aroma, and rides that twisted and turned like my own thoughts and insecurities.

The Texas fair had been a whirlwind of laughter, cotton candy, and the thrilling rush of adrenaline, but now, the promise of crispy waffles, cheesy hash browns, and the company oF the boys made my heart flutter in anticipation.

I checked my phone, squinting in the twilight to see if the others were here. It wasn’t long before I spotted Droid’s unmistakable truck rolling into the parking lot, followed closely by Puffer and Grizzy in their flashy Sedans. And then, like a flash of dark thunder, Pezzy roared into view on his sleek black motorcycle, the engine’s purr blending in with the fading sounds of the fair.

"Hey, ___!" Grizzy shouted as he bounded over from his car, excitement practically radiating from him like the setting sun behind them. He wore his trademark grin, one that always made situations feel a little brighter.

“____! Over here!” Droid called, tossing her a casual wave as he parked his truck. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of the boys, my grin widening as they hopped out of their cars, laughter spilling out into the cooling evening air.

“Did anyone win a stuffed animal?” I asked, turning to see Droid, who was carrying a massive teddy bear tucked under his arm. I also noticed a big push toy poking out from the backseat of Grizzy’s car. “Grizzy! Did you get the giant stuffed bear?” I asked teasing with a gentle smile

“Uh, yeah. That’s a trophy for winning at life,” he replied with a playful smirk. “Meet Mr. Snuggly and I have a gift for you in the back of my car.” Droid winked at me

“Nah, I went for the goldfish instead!” he laughed, knowing full well that it was just a way to mess with me. Knowing Grizzy, he’d surely end up with a life-sized inflatable T-Rex instead.

“Didn’t think you’d show up!” Puffer teased as he approached me first, giving me a quick hug before making room for the others.

Droid approached, his casual stride and laid-back charm eliciting a warm sense of familiarity in my bones that felt like home. He ruffled my hair as he passed by, a brotherly gesture that inevitably made me roll my ___ eyes. “Thought I’d find you guys here. Ready to drown ourselves in waffles?” 

“Please, like I could resist waffles after a long day of overpriced snacks and rides! Plus, I have to stay fuelled for our late-night shenanigans after the stunts I pulled tonight!” I Laughed, my spirits higher than ever tonight.

“I know exactly what you mean. I still feel sick from that funnel cake!” Grizzy added dramatically, placing a hand on his stomach as he leaned against the wall of the diner. “But nothing a plate of hash browns can’t fix, right?”

Droid and Puffer exchanged knowing glances, always amused by their friend’s antics. And as Pezzy strolled over, kicking his kickstand down with a flourish, I felt a flutter in my chest that I couldn’t quite explain.

“Did you guys see the fireworks?” Pezzy chimed in, a little more quietly than the others, his gaze quickly flitting back to mine, a fleeting connection that made my stomach flutter, but I brushed it off. 'It’s just post-fair magic,’ I thought, trying not to read too much into it. 

“Yeah, they were incredible! But honestly, now I just want to eat pancakes until I explode,” Puffer quipped, slapping Grizzy on the back as they made their way toward the entrance.

“Hey, ____,” Pezzy said, flashing me a bright smile that sent butterflies dancing through my stomach. “You ready for some real food? I actually have a craving for that Texas cheesesteak omelet, but I can be persuaded for anything covered in syrup.”

“Totally! I’m with you on that one,” Ireplied, unable to contain her enthusiasm. “Waffles topped with ice cream—now that’s a Texas masterpiece.”

As they entered Waffle House, the warm scent enveloped them. The air was permeated with the irresistible smell of butter and syrup, a scent that was so deeply woven into their memories of late-night adventures and shared laughter.The interior was filled with the comforting chatter of other late-night diners and the sizzle of food cooking on the grill. 

They slid into a booth they chose was cozy—wooden and a bit worn-in, the kind of place that felt like home. ___ slid into the middle seat, Droid to her left, and Pezzy to her right, the perfect configuration for subtle glances and stolen moments, the latter of whom took a deep breath as he subtly nudged closer to her. Grizzy and Puffer settled opposite them, already debating their orders in playful retorts.

“Okay, what's everyone ordering?” ___ asked, tone bubbly as she flipped through the laminated menu, pretending not to notice Pezzy’s growing nervousness.

Pezzy took a deep breath as he watched ___, a flicker of hope sparking in his chest. He’d never had the courage to tell her about his crush, but every casual remark felt layered with an unspoken affection that he wanted to express. He fiddled with his menu, glancing back at her, nervously biting his lip. 

“Definitely the hash browns—it’s the best way to start,”Grizzy declared, and the group followed suit, their laughter echoing around the diner as they decided on their meals.

“Why not try the All-Star Special?” Pezzy suggested, leaning a bit closer as he flashed her another dazzling smile. “You can get everything—waffles, eggs, bacon, and still have room for more!”

“Same!” Puffer joined in. “But I’m adding extra bacon. Gotta live large after all those funnel cakes.”

“___! What are you getting?” he blurted out, desperately trying to sound casual.

“I think I might go with the classic waffle, loaded with strawberries,” she grinned, unaware of the fluttering competition swirling around in Pezzy's stomach. 

“Those berries will definitely sweeten up your already sweet personality,” Pezzy said, attempting to keep his tone light but feeling his cheeks slightly heat up. ___ felt her cheeks warm under his gaze. “You have a point! I think I’ll take you up on that,” she replied, her heart racing in ways it hadn’t before.

“Alright, alright,” Droid interjected, breaking Pezzy's moment of hesitance with a calm, brotherly energy. “Let’s order before it gets too crowded in here.” The waitress approached, and as they squabble about orders, Pezzy felt his heart race while stealing glances at ___'s animated expressions.

“Alright, who’s ordering first?” Puffer asked, leaning dramatically over the table like a showman.

As the waiter approached to take their order, ___ felt Pezzy’s slight tension radiating next to her. She could almost feel his thoughts swirling; she glanced at him just as he took a deep breath, his eyes almost playful yet glazed with determination.

“Uh, I’ll also have the All-Star Special, but can you add a side of, um,” he fumbled, his cheeks slightly pinking, “a side of your heart?” 

Puffer almost choked on his drink, and Droid smirked, shaking his head. “Smooth, Pezzy, real smooth.”

___ couldn’t help but laugh, the warmth spreading through her again as she met Pezzy’s gaze. “Clever. But maybe let’s stick to just waffles for now?”

The table erupted with laughter, the sound of friendship filling the air as they made fun of Pezzy’s attempt—a lighthearted bond wrapped in unadulterated joy.

With their orders placed and the waitress retreating, the table erupted into a flurry of conversations, stories, and laughter. Grizzy and Puffer continued their playful banter, while Droid and ___shared fond memories of their previous discord hangouts. As they waited for their food, the chatter flowed as freely as the sweet syrup they’d soon douse their waffles in. Stories of fair rides, a debate on who could eat the most hash browns, and endless laughter echoed within the little booth. ___ caught Droid rolling his eyes, while Grizzy animatedly recreated the fair's biggest ride. 

And then there was Pezzy, who seemed lost in the moment, glancing at ___ with a goofy smile. He was trying so hard not to come off as nervous that it was endearing. 

As their orders arrived, the table transformed into a feast of colors and aromas. The sight of sizzling waffles, golden-brown hash browns, and fluffy omelets was enough to summon quickened appetites.

“Girls first!” Puffer declared, gesturing dramatically towards ___ and Grizzy. “Let’s see how fast you can demolish that plate!”

“Challenge accepted!” ___ grinned back as Pezzy chuckled beside her, the energy of the room buzzing with laughter and chatter.

As they dived into their meals, ___ caught Pezzy stealing glances her way. Every time she met his gaze, they shared unspoken moments of connection—a tentative dance of burgeoning feelings that neither of them dared to voice

“Hey, ____,” Pezzy finally said, his voice breaking through the noise. “You’ve been doing really well in school. I mean, I've always thought you were pretty amazing, like, really driven.”

“Thanks, Pezzy! That means a lot coming from you,” she replied, her eyes sparkling with genuine warmth.

“Let’s make a pact,” Droid said, forcing the mood to shift. “Next time we hit the fair, we’ll take our own car, and anyone who loses at the games pays for the next Waffle House trip!”

“Deal!” they all cheered, the lighthearted banter continuing late into the evening, making plans for the next fun night together.

“Cheers to fair days and waffle nights!” Droid raised his mug of iced tea, and the others followed suit, all clinking their drinks together.

“Here’s to late night shenanigans!” ____ added with a laugh, glancing over at Pezzy, who looked more relaxed now, joy blooming behind his eyes.

“Next year, we should try the Ferris wheel together. Just us,” he suggested, his voice softening as he glanced away, a hint of shyness creeping into his tone.

“You’re on!” ____ replied, heart racing with the implications of his words. The night felt electric, filled with chances and possibilities, their friendship slowly unfolding into something more beautiful.

As midnight crept closer, they finished their meals with promises of more adventures, laughter still alive in the air like the smell of waffles and syrup. The friendships lingered, intertwined with new beginnings, with warm friendship and the exhilarating thrill of something deeper brewing just beneath the surface.

So as they stepped back out into the starry Texas night, ___ felt grateful for the journey they all shared, knowing the sun might set on one adventure, but it always rose on another—with the possibility of newfound connections, tender moments, and, of course, more late-night Waffle House escapades.

[bunny-j3st3r]

The situation revolving around Frost-can-bite

I'm not the type of person to make a call out but the actions taken by this indvidual and just how far they went to keep up this facade can not be looked over.

This is more of a warning for anyone who may ever have the pleasure of interacting with them in the future.

Under cut is the explanation

EDIT: I don't want to bring attention to this situation by reblogging this and adding on things to it, so it feels easier to edit with additional info that has come to light.

I do not want them chased offline, do not harass them either this is to only bring awareness so people, adults specifically can block them.

They did things to me and my friends that was fucked up and it is only recently we have realized things they did was uncalled for.

Please just approach them with caution, they still are allowed to have a space here but not within adult spaces.

I was told by someone that they had remade these two accounts are what we know off, I have blocked both of these accounts as well as ppl who were affected by him.

If you are in the smile for me fandom and see them trying to engage with adult content just block them and move on.

around three months ago I made a TADC server for adults only, it was a public server made by me and a friend as a space for adults as many current discord servers cater to minors and adults, I was aware of lot of adults felt like they didn't have a space for themselves.

In enters Frost.

Frost at the time had told us they were 19, even providing ID evidence so of course we weren't going to question it, we trusted them.

Over the past few months many of me and my friends became inceadbly close to Frost, we discussed parts of ourselves to them that we've never really shared.

Frost was even the first person I opened up about just how bad my mental illnesses are, we dicussed nsfw topics with them, we had drawn nsfw with them and even provided them nsfw art and fics.

In those few months we all cared for Frost so much that we considered them a close friend to everyone, I had even had plans to ask them to mod the TADC server with me as I had just had that much trust and faith in them.

And then a few days ago the news all came stumbling out.

A situation arose and out of nowhere Frost told me they were in fact not 19, that they had gone far enough to photoshop there own ID just so they could gain our trust. They were 15.

They were 15 pretending to be 19 in an adult server so they could see nsfw content.

Not only that but many other adults had jokingly sexually flirted with Frost and they had flirted back, as we assumed of course they were 19.

I didn't know how to respond, I just didn't believe it at first and I was dissocitating as I began to inform my friends. It felt like I wasn't even there, that I was looking at someone in a dream and that I was going to wake up and tell Frost about the very silly dream I had, and I kinda still feel like that now.

Not only did they lie about there age but they also tried to implicate two people that I will not name in there actions. Only when I caught them in that lie did they admit to not telling the truth and that these two people had nothing to do with it.

I'm not sure what there thought process for that was, I don't know if they were trying to drag them down with them or what?

Many of us still feel very numb and I can't speak for everyone but I know my trust has been completely and utterly shattered that I don't know if I will be willing to accept people outside of my social circle for a very long time.

I'm making this post because Frost decided to delete all of there socials, including discord informing me and only me they were deleting.

So after I tore through them I made sure everyone else got there say in before Frost tried to run away with there tail between there legs.

They don't seem to be fully aware what there actions have done, all they get away with is running away and knowing people are angry at him, while the rest of us have to deal with these lingering and disgusting feelings we've been left with.

For three months, he could of at any time admitted the truth, but he continued to engage in nsfw content, even engaging in conversation about why minors should not be in adult spaces.

The disgust and the hurt I feel over this is just... I don't even know, I've never felt so angry and violated before and that's saying something.

Although they have deleted I'm making this post as awareness.

We think that Frost may decided to try and come back once they think the heat has died down under a new account and I am posting this as a warning to any adults with adult fandom servers to PLEASE be aware of this person in case they decide once again to lie to worm there way into spaces they don't belong.

We have been violated and our trust broken and we've been made to feel like groomers because Frost wanted to see porn.

I will be posting this as a link in my pinned post.

So Frost if you are seeing this, I don't care how sorry you are, what you fucking did was unforgivable and I refuse to let you do that to another group of people.

We think Frost may reappear under any username with either the word Frost or Berry in it.

Frost also does not like to reblog a lot but they do like to mass like posts (not sure how helpful it is but you know.)

Frost also has a very distinct style that can be caught out easily if you think they are trying to get into an adult space.

I will post an example below.

Frost's white board style.

As you can see they have a very distinct art style and the same for there regular art

PLEASE

PLEASE be aware of these styles or names they might be under, please do not allow yourself to build up a close connection like we did.

Frost I don't think I can ever forgive you, I wish I had never met you and the only good thing that fucking came out of you was that I made friends with someone amazing and you absolutely do not deserve them.

I hope for your fucking sake we never see you again.

Edit: I am still mad at them, I still don't want them near me or my friends.

They can have there space online still, they can do whatever the fuck they want but they need to leave adult spaces alone.

Frost if your poking around on another account, seek help, please get acutal help.

I am not saying this in a mean way I am saying this in a hopes you realize how you treat all of us was fucked up and you can learn and maybe not treat your friends the same way you did to us.

[fleet-of-fiction]

My Truth

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi...

My name is Lucie. You might remember me from my old blog, lightmylove-gvf. It started out as a really fun, wholesome space. Full of love and laughter. I shared pictures and gif sets and works of fiction. Made so many wonderful connections with many different people. It really was a wonderful place to be. Until it wasn't. And although I've tried my best to step away from certain controversies, it seems that people still have an issue with me and still have my name in their mouth. So I'd like to take this opportunity to set the record straight. Maybe move past some untruths and you can all make informed decisions on whether you'd like to continue following me here on my current blog. Which is also a place of peace and love, I might add. And always has been.

Anyway, read on if you'd like. And if not, that's ok too.

I think it's fair to say that I've always been one of the more "controversial" writers around here. I have never shied away from difficult storytelling, and I never will. But what started out as a completely separate issue quickly snowballed into what could only be described as a personal vendetta.

I'm happy to discuss anything within my writing that might be of issue to a reader. A particular blog took offence to a scene I had written in a chapter of my fic, Backstage. I happened to disagree with this blog, and I tried my best to let them know whilst I understood their stance I did not agree with their point of view. I took this opinion to a discord server I was part of along with several other blogs here to see if they could shed more light on the issue.

The scene in question involved a fictionalised version of Josh and the reader in bed. They had gone to bed together with the full narrative of the reader known. How she was in love with him and wanted nothing more than to make love with him. They had been growing close. And Josh began to touch reader as they slept side by side. We get an insight into the readers thoughts during this moment, and they are very much with consent and enjoying the experience. It's meant to be a nod to what is to come. That their bodies are in tune with each other, even if their words are yet to speak of it. I think a lot of experiences in life play out like that. Where we don't always know what to say, but find ourselves in situations where our bodies can do the talking. Anyway, I digress...

There was a lot of opinions flying around in the server. Some were in favour of my opinion, others opposed it and were in favour of the anon who had sent me alot of hateful messages regarding their view that this scene was nothing more than sexual harassment. I explained in the server that I myself had been the victim of sexual assault/harassment. That I knew what it felt like to get into bed with someone I thought that I could trust only to have them break that trust in the most heinous way. I tried to explain that I didn't think this particular scene was that.

One sentence that I said was screenshotted and shared around with absolutely zero context to it and nothing of the rest of the conversation added to the screenshot. Just one sentence that I'd said which pertained to saying that I agreed that people should be able to get in bed with others and have full rights to their own bodies. I was AGREEING with that. It's there in black and white. But the narrative was skewed by people who didn't want to understand me. I tried to explain about how my personal experiences often lied within power imbalances when it came to things like S/H. But in the end, they gave me no chance to explain myself properly. They didn't want to. They'd seen and heard enough and made up their mind.

But it didn't stop there. People who I thought were my friends blocked me. Told me I was disgusting. Told me I was playing the victim. Because I didn't issue a grovelling apology. But how could I? I wasn't sorry. I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd poured my heart out to them about my trauma and abuse and how in my own experience I didn't view it as the same as what I'd written. I'd put trigger warnings. I'd made sure people had the right to information before proceeding!

I had blogs who had never interacted with me block me. Call me disgusting. Tell me fuck myself. I had anons telling me to kill myself. Anons telling me that I was a rapist and...for some reason...a peadophile sympathiser? I didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that. I literally wrote two consenting adults touching each other in a bed they'd both gotten into...consentingly.... with very obvious (although unspoken at that point) feelings for each other. But now, that wasn't the issue. The issue was my own personal feelings on sexual harassment.

I'm the first to admit that I am perhaps not an easily digestable person to some. But I know that I am kind. I know that I have spent hours proof reading and editing fics for other writers on here because they asked for my help. I've supported people though personal issues, and I've championed the work of other writers because I truly believed that this space was a wonderful space for creativity. I still do, to some degree. I am not perfect, and I know that sometimes I can be a little head strong when it comes to protecting people's rights to free speech. I understand that I'm not palatable as a person to people who don't agree that the freedom to write should come with the freedom to write anything.

To those of you who never ever spoke to me and are still sharing things about me with the hash tag #fuck you lucie.... to you I say why have you jumped on that bandwagon? You do not know me. You know only what you've heard from people who were intent on pushing a narrative that was their own. Not mine. You don't know that these people were once my friends. And they shared my work and enjoyed it as I enjoyed theirs. They told me things about themselves and I was happy to know them. These people who then decided I was a terrible human being. Based on one thing I said that was taken completely out of context. It's almost as if they have shared it so many times now with their own backstory that it's a canon truth. I'm the worst human to ever walk the earth. Forget about all the good things I did for you. I'm scum.

If you're still reading this, you're probably thinking boo hoo what a victim complex. Maybe you're right. Maybe I do have a victim complex. Like everyone else here I have mental health problems and I'm on the spectrum. I have trauma. As part of my adhd I have rejection sensitivity which means when I'm cornered I tend to fight back with justifications as to why I behaved the way I did. I guess that's what I'm doing now. Trying to explain myself. Again. Although what good it'll do, I dont know. And I think right now, it no longer matters.

And yet I still see that I'm being talked about. I'm still getting accused of sending anons to other blogs when I was literally just existing here in my peaceful little corner, everyone who had ever taken issue with me blocked or unfollowed. I didn't know what was going on over there, I was trying to just enjoy reading and writing. My anxiety could never cope with sending a hateful anon, I know there's ways of finding out where they come from and revealing the blogs who send them and it's like that story we're all told about peeing in the pool and turning the water a different colour. I don't fuck with that shit.

If, for any particular reason, I've ever hurt anyone here to them I do issue a heartfelt apology because it has never been and never will be my intention. I said some awful things in the heat of the moment when I was receiving alot of hate and death threats regarding the AI edit a friend of mine made with audio from one of my fics. I was under so much pressure. I wanted it all to just stop. I just wanted everyone to be able to enjoy whatever made them happy. I am sorry for the things I said during that time. Im a human being. I am flawed. However..

I do not believe that people lose their rights to their body the minute they climb into bed with someone. And that's precisely what I say in the infamous screenshot. I just hope for anyone who has seen it that they now understand that it was said with love and understanding and support. I would never disregard anyones trauma or triggers. Never. And that is why I believe in giving people all the information they require before consuming media and art.

With all this said, I sincerely hope that it's clear that all I want to do is write. It's all ive ever done and all I will ever really be any good at doing. I'm proud of the fics I've put out here on my old blog and this one too. I don't care about how many notes they get, just that one or two people read it and enjoy it. And I hope you all know that I'm a nice person, too. So are a lot of blogs who have been villainised recently. This witch hunt has got to stop. We have got to start listening to each other with peace and understanding and not jump to conclusions. Not make people out to be something they simply aren't.

I want to curate a loving space here. A safe and nurturing space for anyone to feel free within. I want people to know they can jump in my asks and know that I will love them. I want everyone, of every race and every gender and ever creed of this world to know they are welcome and accepted here. Like a wise man that we all know and love once said. I'm not the person they say I am. I never was. And I think some of them know that. It is my greatest hope that any of you who wish to stick around get to know me for yourselves.

It is my greatest wish that those blogs who are still spouting hate about me really grow and heal. Or even better, pop on over and get to know me? I think it's important to understand why you might hate someone and not just from unreliable sources. If you think that I am some sort of s/a supporter who revels in writing that sort of thing then I'd be glad to dispel that myth.

I'm not going to speak on this again because I feel that I've moved on. This blog is my creative outlet and always will be. And as I've stated above its a safe and loving space for all. I'm reclaiming the fun. And hopefully some of you will stick around for it. And if not, I bid you a farewell. With nothing but love in my heart.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for yelling at someone, making them cry, and indirectly making them loose their friends

This happened several years ago but it plays on my mind sometimes. Everyone in this story is 15/16 at the time, in our last year at secondary school, UK. (🏎️ for finding this)

Myself, my girlfriend at the time [F], my best friend [B], F's friend [D], and a few of our other mutual friends were hanging out at lunch break. There aren't enough chairs at the table so F and I leave to go get extra. I come back and nothing seems amis.

Adding in some context now. No one in this story is cishet. We were all painfully awkward queer teens who haven't figured ourselves out yet. So we were all bottom of the social ladder, very much 'losers'. Me and F were, to my knowledge, the only 'same sex' couple in school. So by this point I'm used to people constantly making remarks about our relationship, but that's usually from ppl I didn't know or care about.

D is the only person, at this point, at school who's openly trans and genderqueer. They got a lot of hate for it. A lot of people harassed them and they didn't have many friends. I think for transparency's sake I have to say, I didn't really like D, we just didn't jell, but I made an effort to be kind and include them bc it's hard being queer in secondary school and I'm not gonna add more hate to that when me not getting on with them was my issue not theirs. And as a fellow victim of bullying I wasn't gonna exclude them from our friend group

Back to the story. As soon as we're back in classes, B tells me that D leant over to them while me and F were gone and said that it's "so sad seeing A and [OP] together" because "I took F's first kiss" and "poor [OP]". I trusted B's word on this as at that point we'd been best friends for several years, they weren't a shit stirrer, and had no reason to lie. In fact, they were confused D even said that to them since they were barely friends and knew B was best friends with me and would tell me they said that.

Hearing this really annoyed me. While I knew F and D had dated in the past, that didn't and shouldn't have effected mine and F's relationship in any way. And they'd been broken up well before I knew either of them. It's none of D's business who F kisses, and it's a shitty idea that because they'd dated before their later relationship first didn't mean as much. It felt very much like a dick thing to think never mind say about me and F. Also, B was my best friend, who did D get off to shit talking me to my best friend?

Anyway. Usually at the end of the day, several of us walked home together, and this group included D. I get to the spot we usually wait first and when I see D I confront them. I ask them why they'd say that and if they've got a problem with me. They don't deny saying it or really explain themself at all, they just look guilty. At first I kept calm. I knew D was F's friend and I didn't want to put a wedge in their friendship because of any issue I had with D. But, I keep asking why they did that, and if they've got something against me. If they're gonna shit talk me yanno. Then D starts crying.

I know it probably shouldn't have but this made me really mad. So I start yelling at them, saying something along the lines of 'so you're going to be an asshole to me and then you're gonna start crying?' and 'you started this, why are you crying?'. They start saying something along the lines of 'I didn't mean it like that' so I ask how did you mean it? And that they knew it wasn't something fine to say, because they said it behind my back and not to my face.

By this point, other people are watching, some of which were our mutual friends. I keep demanding they explain themself or at least apologize to me, but instead they run off crying. I don't follow them. If they're going to remove themself from the situation then fine.

People start asking what the hell that was about and I explain briefly to the people I knew and told the people I didn't to mind their own business. Someone I don't know tells me Ds gone to the head of year and I tell them I don't care, let them, I didn't do anything wrong. (This later amounts to nothing as no teacher ever comes to speak to me about this, so I doubt D did go to the head of year at all)

Eventually the people who were curious about what happened leave. All of the group who walk home together show up, including F. I explain to F what happened and they're upset that D said that about me, but wasn't happy to hear that D left crying.

For the rest of the school year, D ends up avoiding me. Literally staying out of my way, moving if I even glanced over at them. I thought they were overreacting. I never threatened them, and they were the one who chose to be an asshole first. I felt they were making this much more than it needed to be by avoiding it all together. We barely had an argument before they left, but anyone would have thought I'd attacked them or something. But because I obviously was always around F, D didn't have anyone to hang out with anymore. F was their only real friend and their other sort of friends were in our friend group.

No one told them they couldn't hang out with us anymore. (I'm pretty sure because they started avoiding me, I never ended up speaking to them again.) I know they still spoke to F still, but it seemed like their friendship was heavily damaged by it all.

D later ended up dropping out and finishing the school year through home schooling. I believe this was in large part due to the harassment they got for being genderqueer openly. (I remember on several occasions standing up for D and telling people to stop being transphobic assholes behind Ds back after this argument happened. Just because we didn't get along doesn't mean was gonna let that shit slide.)

I feel like I could be the asshole because due to this whole situation, D stopped hanging around their friends and through that lost a lot of the support they had. And obviously, I did make them cry.

On the other hand, no one stopped them from hanging out with their friends. They chose to avoid me and the situation. A situation they started by being a dick to me with zero provoking. They never apologized or recanted what they said. It's hard to feel bad that they lost their friends because they were being a shitty friend

Luckily, from what I know from friends of friends, D is doing better now and is around ppl who support them

This got a lot longer than I wanted but I believe I got all the details in there.

So, wita?

What are these acronyms?

[collapsedglasshouses]

An Angel For Noah || Noah Sebastian x OC [Part 9]

DIVIDER ART WORK BY @cafekitsune

PAIRING: Noah Sebastian x Jules [she/her]

MASTERPOST

SUMMARY: Noah goes to extreme lengths to see Jules again.

WARNINGS: SERIOUS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, swearing, suicidal behaviour, mentions of alcohol consumption, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE HAVING A HARD TIME WITH SAID TOPICS

A/N: I listened to Black Out Days by Phantogram on repeat while writing this and I cried. A lot. :)

TAGLIST: @trvshdxddy @blackveilomens @crimson-calligraphyx @measuredingold @cncohshit @signs-of-ill-portent @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @ada-clarence @wild-child-7747

If you wanna be added to the taglist of this story, please DM me or let me know in the comments!

Keep in mind, this takes place in an alternative universe. Even though I write about real people, the way I write them has nothing to do with how they are in real life.

When Jules opened her eyes again, she found herself in that white room. Her heart sunk while tears were still running over her face. This was the moment. She would be banned into endless nothingness. Maybe she was sent to hell, if it even existed.

Right as she was about to panic, she felt a hand on her shoulder and abruptly turned around. Her panicked eyes met with Keaton's concerned ones.

"What's wrong?" He asked the girl as she tried to contain her breaths.

"Why are you here?" Jules wanted to know with widened eyes. "You were in trouble and even though you are dead, doesn't mean I'll not look after you when you need me to." Keaton gazed over her face.

Jules looked at him for a good second to try and read him. His face didn't change a bit, letting her come to the conclusion that he had no idea what was going on in the real world.

Jules took a deep breath and blinked a couple of times, before trying to form a sentence. "I just... Uhm- I needed a break."

She instantly knew that Keaton didn't believe a word that left her mouth. "Are you sure? You look like you cried."

When Jules didn't say a word for a solid minute, Keaton sighed. "I know it can be a lot."

Her shoulders relaxed at his empathetic tone. She felt bad for not telling Keaton what was going on, but she also knew she couldn't just bluntly tell him she had talked to Noah, who shouldn't even know she existed; let alone the confused feelings that mixed into the spectacle.

Jules took a couple of deep breaths, while trying to re-arrange her thoughts. She needed Keaton to give her an advice without telling him what chaos she created.

Keaton looked at Jules with understanding in his eyes, realizing she was struggling to find her words. After a moment of silence, he spoke gently, "Jules, it's okay to take a break from all of this, even if we're in this strange existence now. We all need some time to rest and gather ourselves. It's a part of life, or whatever you want to call it after life."

Jules nodded, grateful for his empathy and the absence of judgment.

Keaton continued, "But remember, there will always be challenges, even here. When they come, it's essential to face them. You're stronger than you think, and you can handle whatever comes your way. Don't shy away from the difficulties you'll encounter."

Jules found comfort in Keaton's words. Although she hadn't revealed the specifics of her recent experience with Noah, Keaton's advice seemed to apply to the unique situation she was navigating. She realized, in life or whatever came after, sometimes the best way forward was to confront the problems and challenges that surface.

"I just want him to be safe." Jules exclaimed quietly, while looking at the floor.

"I want Noah to be safe, too; and I know you'll do your utter best to keep it that way." Keaton reassured her and squeezed her arm.

With that the two left.

Noah felt empty. If he needed to describe it, Noah felt even more empty than before he met Jules. Knowing they had a couple of days off now, he allowed himself to let loose a bit. He hadn't drank a single sip of alcohol since the night he was saved by Jules, but right now he felt like he wouldn't survive his thoughts if he stayed sober.

He ordered a beer. The familiar chatter and laughter of the guests at the bar they went to, echoed around him.

As he sat at the bar, lost in his thoughts, Ruffilo, took the seat beside him. Nick's eyes held genuine concern as he asked, "Hey, Noah, are you okay? The show tonight was incredible, wasn't it?"

Noah shrugged, not wanting to accidentally reveal the strange situation he was going through. He couldn't risk telling Nick something he wasn't supposed to.

His best friend quickly picked up on Noah's desire to be alone. He gave him a comforting side hug, before getting up from his spot and leaving Noah to his own thoughts.

Alone, Noah contemplated how to make his cruel situation better. Filled with uncertainty and conflicting emotions, he ordered another drink, hoping to find solace in the comforting embrace of alcohol.

His vision became blurry with time. He didn't even try to focus on anything anymore. His head was buzzing. Everything felt like it was clouded. But his mind. His mind still didn't relax.

Jules.

Everything he could think about was her. Slowly but surely, he began to find himself ridiculous. Never in his life had he behaved like this when it came to a girl. Even if it wasn't just a girl, but his fucking guardian angel, he felt this thing he couldn't quite describe. He didn't know if it was of romantic nature or just the fact that he was blown of his chair about the fact that something like guardian angels really existed.

He didn't remember how many beers he had drank, but when he stumbled into his hotel room, he was more than just a little tipsy. He was angry. Angry with himself for not being able to let go for a second. Angry with the world for putting him in situations like this. Angry at Jules for leaving so abruptly when he needed her.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the door. All he could think of, was, how he felt when Jules hugged him. He felt like someone had broken his heart in a million pieces even though he didn't know Jules for longer than two hours. It was so dumb and yet he craved her touch, her presence, her voice. He craved her.

A drunken idea shot into his head, as he moved from the door.

"Jules?" He asked into the nothingness of his room, knowing damn well that she heard him. All he could hear was a quiet buzzing in his ears from the alcohol he had consumed.

He sighed. "I know you can fucking hear me."

Again he tried to recognize any shifts in the room. But nothing happened. It was just him, drunk and empty.

He felt like he had no other choice, when he opened his balcony door and stepped outside. The cold wind blew around him but he didn't care, to drunk to even recognize the almost freezing temperatures.

He leaned against the railing of the balcony and looked down. His room was on the third floor. It was high enough to give it another try.

"Jules?" He asked one more time, in hopes he would get the answer he needed desperately at the moment, but again... Nothing happened. Noah's vision became blurry from his anger at himself.

"You're giving me no other choice." He tried to convince himself and lifted one leg to step over the railing, like he already did before a couple of years ago; his hands gripping the metal tightly.

Right as he was about to lift his other leg, the atmosphere changed. Noah felt how goosebumps started to form on his arms, but not from the cold. It felt like a rush of warmth washed over him.

"If you even think about this for one second longer, I'll fucking push you off myself." He heard a female voice behind him speak.

Still hanging in his position, he swallowed hard. "Not really 'Guardian Angel-like' of you." - "Not really 'I'll take care of myself' of you."

Than there was silence for a second. Noah clung to the railing, still staring down at the concrete in front of the hotel, while one leg stood firmly on the floor of the balcony.

"Please, step back, Noah." Jules tried to talk to him calmly, while her heart was racing. She wondered if it was this feeling Keaton had felt right before she died.

"Will you go away, if I do so?" Noah said so quietly, Jules almost didn't catch it. It broke her heart to see him this way. She knew it took more than their encounter and the knowledge that they couldn't just be friends like normal people, to climb over a railing, but seeing him do this risky thing to get her back into his reality broke something inside of her.

"Don't do that to me, Noah." Jules rasped, her voice almost getting washed over by her upcoming tears. She barely knew this man, only being there for him for less than two months, but she knew she would die again if it meant that his soul would finally have some peace. "Please step back from that railing, Noah."

"Promise me, you won't go again." Noah demanded, hot tears streaming down his face as his hands got slightly sweaty.

"You know, I can't. We both know." Jules stuttered, stepping a small step towards Noah. "Please, Noah."

"Why should I listen to your pleadings when you can't even listen to mine?" Noah knew this wasn't about seeing Jules again anymore. It had stopped being about her, the second he looked over the railing. His head was killing him and he felt like hearing her voice was the only thing that took his mind of the other shit he felt.

Jules ears were ringing. She felt like her head was about to explode as she watched the man in front of him cling to the railing, his life literally depending on it. Her mind was racing. She felt like she was going to throw up. She needed to help him at all cost.

And suddenly.

She knew what would bring him out of his trance.

"Keaton wouldn't want that and you know it."

Noah looked away from the pathway and straight ahead. He couldn't believe what she just said.

"What?"

Jules didn't answer him, letting her sentence sit in a little longer. Noah turned his head, still remaining in his position, but he needed to make sure he heard Jules right.

"What did you just say?" He repeated himself, his tone a bit harsher than before. He couldn't fucking believe it.

"You heard what I said." Jules said, the tone of her voice also stronger than before.

Now Noah felt like he was going to throw up. He expected a lot but not hearing the name of one of his dearest friends. A loss he couldn't quite come to terms with. His tears became thicker. He knew she was right but why the hell did she talk about Keaton, yet alone know him.

He slightly flinched when he felt a warm hand on his arm. Only now he noticed he started shaking a little from the cold. He felt like his name washed the alcohol out of his system.

"Why the hell do you know Keaton?" Noah almost hissed at her, anger washing over him. She shouldn't have dragged Keaton into this.

"Why do you think I'm here?" Jules answered him, not letting go of his arm, in case he changed his mind. Noah turned a bit more in response to look her in the eyes. He felt how his fingers were freezing cold.

When he looked in her face, he realised she was also crying. He studied her face as he began to realise what she was trying to say with her sentence. His eyes widen slightly. "He was watching over me?"

Jules nodded. "And he also watched over me." She took a deep breath. "And all the people he loved."

Noah felt as if the ground was being pulled out from under his feet. One of his hands left the railing and clutched at Jules as he realised he couldn't take any more. He just grabbed Jules and clung to her like everything depended on it while his sobs broke out of him.

Jules gently led Noah away from the balcony's railing, guiding him a bit away. The tension that had gripped him began to subside as they settled on the cold floor of the balcony. He clung to her, seeking comfort in her presence.

They sat there together, the distant sounds of the city, the faint glow of the night sky and his soft sobs as their only companions. Jules listened as Noah's rapid breaths gradually slowed, his racing thoughts becoming more manageable.

As Noah began to regain his composure, Jules decided it was time to get him to bed. She helped him up, leading him to the room. Gently, she covered him with a blanket, ensuring he was warm and safe, both of them to exhausted to change him into different clothes.

But as she turned to leave, Noah's hand shot out and grabbed hers. "Please, don't go," he whispered, his voice filled with a vulnerability that tugged at her heart. "I'm sorry, Jules."

She sighed softly, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "We'll talk when you're clear-headed again," she promised. "Right now, you need rest." She pulled a chair next to his bed and settled into it, her eyes never leaving him. It was going to be a long night.

In the quiet of the room, with Noah's rhythmic breathing as the only sound, Jules sat watchful, her presence being a safe space for the troubled musician. The moonlight bathed the room in its soft glow, and despite the turmoil of the evening, their connection remained intact, unbreakable, and strangely comforting.

PART TEN

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic Cyber Revolution, Entry 37: Breaking The Fields

'''Cause I can't look back, no more turning back! 'Til I find my way back home, and I know, I've gotta be so much more than this! But what can I be if not me?''

– So Much More… by Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing

xXxXxXx

Silver and Makoto weren't completely sure how to approach the situation. They knew that them being stuck at Sky Canyon was most likely Dr. Eggman's doing. However, given how easily they had defeated the Boss of the Zone, it felt a bit out of place. The good Doctor wasn't usually this sloppy.

''Makoto, watch out!'' Silver suddenly shouted when their environment started glitching out and the platform below them disappeared. Fortunately for both of them, Silver used his psychokinesis to keep them afloat.

''That was close! Thanks, Silver!'' Makoto said, with Silver giving them a thumbs up before landing them safely on another platform. However, just as they landed, their environment started to glitch out once again. Feeling alarmed, both looked up at the flash of light before them, revealing itself to be a cyan diamond-shaped gem. Both of their jaws dropped as they realized what they were looking at, with Makoto breaking the silence. ''That's a Chaos Emerald! But, how?''

''I don't know,'' Silver replied, reaching for the cyan gem. He could feel it's energy crackling through his fingers. He glanced at Makoto with a confused look, fishing for an explanation. ''I mean, we did beat the Boss of this Zone, so maybe this is our prize?''

Before Makoto could answer, there was another flash of light, this one being green, with Shadow and Touka suddenly appearing before them, and Shadow still holding the green Chaos Emerald.

''Shadow!''

''Touka!''

The two siblings were surprised to see Silver and Makoto, but also pleased to see that the Chaos Emerald-enhanced Chaos Control worked properly. Nevertheless, there was a question on their mind.

''What are you doing here?'' Touka asked.

''We were a moment ago with Lily and Knuckles, who had asked us whether we had seen Rouge because she hadn't appeared for a while, and in the next moment, we found ourselves in Sky Canyon,'' Makoto explained. ''What about you?''

''We were helping out Tails and Warren, when we suddenly found ourselves in…'' Touka paused, only to resume. ''Okay, I don't know what the name of that place was, but it had a lot of snow. I'm just glad that we got somewhere with a moderate temperature.''

Shadow just rolled his eyes at her remark, with Makoto adding, ''Well, if you guys were in a snow filled-zone that is also from the Sonic Advance series, just like us, you were either in the Ice Mountain Zone from Sonic Advance, Ice Paradise from Sonic Advance 2 or Twinkle Snow from Sonic Advance 3.''

''We have more important things to talk about than names of Zones,'' Shadow suddenly interrupted them, pointing at Silver. ''I see that you also got a Chaos Emerald.''

''Yeah, we got it after beating… the Egg Saucer?'' Silver turned to Makoto, who nodded. He then turned back to Shadow. ''What about you?''

''We were confronted by Dr. Starline,'' Shadow explained, with Makoto and Silver being surprised to hear that name. ''He was piloting a mech, probably made by Dr. Eggman. We managed to defeat him, but it seems that my Chaos energy reacted with the AR Field and caused the Chaos Emeralds to appear.''

''Then we can use the Chaos Emeralds to escape this place,'' Silver said, elated to hear that there was a solution to their problem. Shadow then shook his head, his arms folded across his chest.

''I'm afraid that it is not that easy. The AR Field is quite unstable and one has to be very careful when using Chaos Control. I had tried to warp Touka and I out of it, but we landed here instead,'' he explained.

''Then, maybe we need all 7 of the Chaos Emeralds. Also, if you are trapped here and this is another of Dr. Eggman's schemes, this must mean that maybe the rest of the team is trapped as well,'' Makoto said. ''We cannot travel through Zones by any normal means, but we can use the Chaos Emeralds for that.''

''Well, you two can do that,'' Silver said, holding out the cyan Chaos Emerald to Shadow and Touka. ''I don't even know how to use Chaos Control.''

Shadow stared at the cyan Chaos Emerald that Silver was offering to him, then glanced back at the grey hedgehog, clearly assessing the situation and their options. If their assumptions were correct, their teammates were all separated and it would take some time to find them, even with the Chaos Emerald, as surely Dr. Eggman would try to intervene. Shadow then held up his hand, showing that he wouldn't take the Chaos Emerald, much to Silver's confusion.

''I will give you a quick crash course on using Chaos Control. You will be able to utilize it with the Chaos Emerald, even if you had never used it before,'' Shadow replied.

''B-But…'' Silver wanted to protest, feeling that this was something he wouldn't be capable of, but after seeing Shadow's grim gaze, he then nodded. ''What do I have to do?''

''You can use the Chaos Energy within the Chaos Emerald to sense the presence of other Chaos Emeralds, and you can let this sensation guide you,'' Shadow explained. ''All you need is to focus, and you will be able to find them.''

Silver nodded, holding the Chaos Emerald and focusing on the Chaos Energy within. At first, it was quite overwhelming, as he never felt something like this before, but as he got used to this new power, he could feel something tugging him to several sides, unsure which path to follow. He assumed that one energy signature, the strongest one, was the Chaos Emerald Shadow was holding. So he tried to focus on the other energy signatures, finding one that was much further from him. It was like a thread hanging in front of him, and all he needed to do was to reach for it.

''I think I got it,'' Silver said, opening his eyes. Shadow nodded.

''You and Makoto will go there then,'' he said. Silver smiled, with both him and Shadow holding up their hands, arms crossing.

''CHAOS…'' Silver started as the energy around them crackled.

''CONTROL!!!'' Shadow roared, with a blinding light engulfing the whole group.

xXx

Tails and Warren had to leap each towards a different side to avoid Silver Sonic's attack. It appeared that the robotic version of Sonic seemed to have some kind of regenerative ability, as no matter how powerful Tails' EMP field was, the robot would always stand up. They needed to find another way around it.

''Any ideas?'' Warren asked, him and Tails hiding behind a metallic pillar and flinching when Silver Sonic lost sight of them and smashed a different pillar.

''I'm not sure. I'm not as good at combat as someone like Sonic or Knuckles…'' Tails said, only to realize that admist all of the chaos he had forgotten that he was still wearing his backpack. He quickly took it off, starting to rummage around it.

''Watch it!'' Warren grabbed Tails, running off to the other side of the Zone as Silver Sonic smashed into the pillar they were hiding behind. Whatever was left of Chaos Surge had already faded, leaving them quite vulnerable. However, Warren was given a small toy-like laser gun by Tails, who then reached for another gadget in his backpack.

''Keep him busy, I have an idea!'' Tails said, starting to tinker with the electromagnetic discs. Warren used Tails laser gun to fire at Silver Sonic, surprisingly managing to get a few good hits, but the robot seemed to be unstoppable. When he got too close to the two, both managed to slip away, with Tails slapping the disc onto Silver Sonic, while Warren took the other and put it on a piece of debris, then pushed it off the edge of the Zone. The magnetic pull was so strong that Silver Sonic followed it, falling off the platform.

''All right!'' Tails cheered, him and Warren high-fiving in relief, especially since Silver Sonic didn't return this time. However, as they celebrated, they saw a flash of light, revealing a diamond-shaped yellow gem that landed in Tails' hands.

''T-That's a Chaos Emerald!'' Warren stuttered in shock.

''A Chaos Emerald?'' Tails replied in a stunned state. ''But, how is that possible?'' Before any of them could continue their conversation, they were met by another flash of light, revealing two familiar figures. ''Silver? Makoto? What are you doing here?''

''It's a long story, but from what we've figured out, Dr. Eggman and Dr. Starline have trapped us here and we need to collect five more… well, four more,'' Makoto corrected himself upon seeing the yellow gem in Tails' hands, ''Chaos Emeralds. Touka and Shadow got one already.''

''Shadow also taught me how to use Chaos Control with a Chaos Emerald, and if we collect all of them, we'll be able to escape this place,'' Silver explained.

''Where are they?'' Warren asked.

''They went to another Zone. Shadow had figured that it would be easier for us to collect all the Chaos Emeralds if we split up,'' Silver explained.

''Okay,'' Tails nodded. ''Let's see what we can find.''

xXx

Knuckles punched Mecha Sonic, sending him flying across Sky Sanctuary with ease, almost causing him to fall off the platform. Mecha Sonic barely held himself onto the edge of the platform, when Lily suddenly appeared, having found a metallic rod and giving him an apologetic look.

''This will hurt me more than you,'' she said, swinging the metallic rod at Mecha Sonic, knocking him off the platform. Knuckles approached her, looking rather satisfied with the result.

''Nice job,'' he said.

''Oh, please, that was all you,'' Lily replied, with both being surprised by a sudden flash of light. Above them, a diamond-shaped purple gem appeared, falling right on Knuckles' head. Fortunately, he managed to catch it before it fell over the edge of the platform.

''Huh, what's that?'' Knuckles stared at the gem, which Lily immediately recognized.

''Knux, that's a Chaos Emerald! That's one of the most powerful gems in the world!'' she said, looking quite awestruck. Knuckles rose an eyebrow, turning it in his hands.

''Why did this appear before us?'' he wondered.

''I don't know… I mean, this is an area from a video game. Maybe we got rewarded for beating Mecha Sonic?'' Lily suggested. Before their conversation could continue, a flash of light appeared, revealing itself to be Shadow and Touka. ''Woah, what are you two doing here?''

''It's a long story, but we are currently in an AR Field created by Dr. Eggman and Dr. Starline, and the rest of Team Neos is also trapped here, and the two Doctors are probably going to try to collect the Chaos Emeralds,'' Touka quickly explained. ''We already came across Makoto and Silver, and they're on the search for the others.''

''How many Chaos Emeralds did you manage to gather?'' Knuckles asked.

''Two so far, but with you, it's three. If Silver and Makoto had managed to find another, then we'll have four out of seven,'' Shadow explained.

''How did you even manage to travel between Zones?'' Lily asked. ''We tried to leave Sky Sanctuary to get to Hidden Palace Zone, but we were just teleported back.''

''It appears that one can travel between the Zones via Chaos Control,'' Touka explained.

Just then, Sky Sanctuary suddenly started to shake, with their surroundings glitching out, only for a crowd of EggRobos to surround them, as well as Mecha Sonic reappearing, but this time in a golden colour, having returned as Super Mecha Sonic Mark II. Above them, flying in a smaller version of the Egg Mobile, was Dr. Starline.

''You again!'' Touka shouted, with Dr. Starline grinning at them.

''Surprise! I had figured that I should get back-up. Maybe you two can take down a whole mech, but what about getting outnumbered?'' he said. Knuckles and Shadow took a battle stance, with the echidna glancing at Shadow.

''That's Dr. Starline?'' he asked. Shadow nodded. Knuckles huffed. ''He doesn't look like much of a threat.''

''He may not have a mech, but I would still be cautious,'' Shadow warned the echidna, being on guard.

''It doesn't matter how cautious you are, I will make sure to take you down and bring those Chaos Emeralds to Dr. Eggman!'' Starline told them, smirking. ''Then, the Doctor will have nothing but words of praise for me!''

xXx

''Okay, question; how do we find a Chaos Emerald here? We saw that one just appeared in front of Touka and Shadow,'' Lucas said, as he and Sonic searched Green Hill for the elusive gem.

''Well, this is a location based on a video game. Maybe we have to follow video game logic,'' Sonic replied.

Lucas rose an eyebrow, wondering what Sonic meant. Technically, they were trapped in some kind of infinite loop of the Green Hill Zone, unable to break out, which is why they needed the Chaos Emerald. However, they also needed to figure out how to make one appear, and if they went by video game logic, then they would have to enter the Special Stages, but as noted above, that was impossible. Nevertheless, there was something Lucas noticed as he observed the screens showing his friends.

''We would have to beat the Boss of the Zone… However, we know that this Zone doesn't have a Boss due to what Dr. Eggman did…'' he trailed off, exchanging glances with Sonic. ''Actually, maybe we just have to pass the Goal Plate.''

Sonic snorted. ''That would be the easiest way of getting the Chaos Emerald. As a matter of fact, it's too-'' Sonic stopped, seeing the Goal Plate in front of him. Last time he and Lucas passed it, they found themselves back at the beggining of Green Hill. Nevertheless, both sped up and passed it. ''Easy?'' To their surprise, there was a flash of light, with a blue diamond-shaped gem appearing before them, with Sonic snatching it out of the air. ''Okay, Eggman really should've put some Badniks around to at least give me some kind of challenge.''

''Well, that not our problem anymore,'' Lucas replied. ''Now, how does one use Chaos Control with this thing?''

Both him and Sonic fell silent, as despite Lucas' knowledge of the lore of the Chaos Emeralds and the various Chaos-related abilities, they still had no clue how to properly use it like Shadow and Touka did. Sonic just stared at the Chaos Emerald, as if expecting it to do something, weighting in his hands carefully, before shrugging.

''Well, all I can do is trust my instincts,'' he said. Lucas gave him a dubious look.

''I hope your instincts won't make us permanently trapped here,'' he said.

''Heh, just trust me, I know what I'm doing,'' he said, holding up the Chaos Emerald. Lucas couldn't help but roll his eyes, even though he did trust his partner with his life. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!!''

xXx

Amy had managed to catch up to Metal Sonic, trying to hit him with her Piko Piko Hammer, only for Metal Sonic to block it and grab her hammer, throwing her backwards, leading to the pink hedgehog landing right on Minami. Due to being fueled with the power of Chaos Surge, Sonic's metallic rival was much stronger than before. However, neither Amy nor Minami were ready to give up, having overheard the conversation about the Chaos Emeralds between Ferra and Dr. Eggman.

''You two should really should know when to give up!'' Ferra said, her whole body crackling with energy. The same energy surrounded Metal Sonic as he prepared to blast away the two, only for a blue flash of light to appear right above them. Metal Sonic and Ferra could only look up before something heavy fell right on top of them.

''Aghh...'' Sonic fell his head spin and his body ache, but he was still happy at the results, clutching the blue Chaos Emerald in his hand. ''Nailed it!''

''Ugh, what was- huh?'' Lucas' dazed look was quickly replaced by surprise when he realized that he landed right on top of Ferra, while Sonic landed on Metal Sonic. ''I guess this might count as defeating the Boss of Stardust Speedway?''

''Get off me!'' Ferra shouted at him, kicking Lucas off of her, with Metal Sonic doing the same to his organic counterpart, although with a lot more force. Sonic rolled over before getting into a battle stance.

''All right, Metal! If you want to fight, we'll fight!'' Sonic said, still clutching the Chaos Emerald in his hand. Lucas, meanwhile, went over to Minami and Amy.

''Are you two okay?'' he asked.

''Yeah, but how did you get here?'' Amy asked.

''Sonic used Chaos Control,'' Lucas said, pointing at the blue gem Sonic was holding, then noted the questioning looks Minami and Amy gave him. ''I'll explain everything later, but what you need to know is that all of Team Neos is trapped in different Zones of this AR Field and we're trying to find the Chaos Emeralds before Dr. Eggman does.''

''How many do we have?'' Minami asked.

''From what I've seen, two are missing. We need to find the Chaos Emerald of Stardust Speedway,'' Lucas replied. The three then turned towards Sonic, who was currently locked in a brawl with Metal Sonic. Not only was Sonic's robotic counterpart after the blue Chaos Emerald his rival was holding, but he went back to just trying to beat up Sonic for the sake of beating him up.

Ferra, on the other hand, seemed to have spotted something, and Lucas saw the same. He grabbed his hoverboard and shoved it into Minami's hands. ''Get the Chaos Emerald! I'll help Sonic!''

Minami and Amy, who both took note of Ferra's behavior and her taking off towards the far end of Stardust Speedway, having spotted the red Chaos Emerald, quickly got on Lucas' hoverboard and sped off without a word. Even though Ferra had a headstart, Lucas' hoverboard was much faster thanks to the modifications Warren and Tails added.

''Com'n… Com'n!'' Minami hissed under her breath, hoping that her and Amy's combined weight didn't slow them down. Ferra turned around, spotting the two going after her and gaining speed. However, Ferra was incredibly close to the Chaos Emerald, reaching out for it…

''Oh, no you don't!'' Amy leapt from the hoverboard, throwing her hammer at Ferra, causing her to stumble and fall off. She was then caught by Minami, with both reaching for the red diamond-shaped gem. ''Yes!''

''No!'' Ferra cried out furiously as Amy held onto the Chaos Emerald, while Minami just gave her a smug look.

xXx

Dr. Eggman rubbed his temple as he watched the screen of the Egg Mobile, being annoyed to see that Dr. Starline clearly underestimated the combined force of Knuckles and Shadow, both equipped with Chaos Emeralds, and groaned when he saw Ferra failing to acquire the red Chaos Emerald. Even though he had faith in his Enforcer, he had to admit that he expected failure to some extent. He knew that it was a tragedy that Team Neos managed to get six of the Chaos Emeralds, but he still had a chance. There was one Chaos Emerald remaining and Dr. Eggman knew exactly where to find it.

As it turned out, there was an area between all AR Fields, a so-called no man's land that connected to each of the AR Fields, containing the glitches and bugs that formed thanks to Shadow's Chaos Energy and the place of origin for the Chaos Emeralds. It certainly looked nothing like the other Zones, but was more of a mish-mash of all of them, with the grey diamond-shaped gem being placed on a stone pedestal in the middle of the Zone.

''Ho ho ho… even if Team Neos managed to get all of the other Chaos Emeralds, they still cannot escape when one Chaos Emerald is missing,'' Dr. Eggman said, lowering the Egg Mobile to get to the pedestal, only to get startled by a flash of light, with Silver, Makoto, Tails and Warren having a hard landing.

''Ugh… That hurt…'' Warren said, rubbing his head.

''Sorry, I guess I miscalculated,'' Silver, who was holding onto the cyan Chaos Emerald, replied as he rubbed his head.

''At least we got out of the Death Egg Zone,'' Tails said, holding onto the yellow Chaos Emerald.

''Dr. Eggman!'' Makoto gasped when he realized that they weren't alone.

The rest of the group looked up, surprised to see Dr. Eggman hovering above them. Dr. Eggman was fuming at the sight of them, having hoped that they wouldn't find out about this Zone.

''I will not let you ruin my plans!'' Dr. Eggman growled, pressing a button and unleashing a barrage of homing missiles, forcing Silver to raise a cyan barrier with his psychokinesis to block the attack. Dr. Eggman took advantage of this, pressing another button that caused a mechanical claw to be lowered and snatched away the grey Chaos Emerald from the pedestal.

''Oh, no, he got the Chaos Emerald!'' Makoto cried out. Dr. Eggman laughed as he flew away, well aware that they will be now trapped forever here, only for the laughter to stop when Tails flew towards him, hanging onto the claw and trying to pry it open.

''Get off the Egg Mobile, Prower!'' Dr. Eggman yelled at the twin-tailed fox, who desperately clung onto the mechanical claw. Dr. Eggman started to drive the Egg Mobile in an erratic manner, hoping to shake Tails off.

''Chaos Surge!''

Much to Dr. Eggman's horror, the Egg Mobile was stopped by the combined power of Silver and Makoto's psychokinesis, who were keeping the vehicle in place. Tails grinned, managing to get the grey Chaos Emerald out of the claw, and now holding two of them flew back towards his friends.

''No! How dare you steal from me?!'' Dr. Eggman growled.

''We know exactly that we cannot trust you with the Chaos Emeralds, so we're taking them with us!'' Warren replied.

''Then I'll make sure that you're going nowhere!'' Dr. Eggman shouted, pressing another button. Suddenly, the whole Zone shook, with Silver, Makoto, Tails and Warren staring at their surroundings in horror. Dr. Eggman laughed, well aware that he just activated a program to close the AR Field. If they all didn't get out as soon as possible, they would be erased from existence along with the collapsing AR Field. ''Enjoy the afterlife!''

Dr. Eggman then vanished from the AR Field, clearly retreating. A sense of panic enveloped the four as they realized that they were now on a timer.

''The whole AR Field is collapsing! Silver, can you warp us to the others?'' Tails asked. Silver nodded, although panic was already setting in.

''I-I can… But there are two energy signatures I'm detecting,'' he said, only to shake his head. He wasn't sure which path to take, but he needed to pick one immediately. ''Everyone, stay close!'' He held up the cyan Chaos Emerald, focusing on what seemed to be the stronger energy signature. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!''

xXx

Sonic curled into a ball, performing a homing attack on Metal Sonic, who managed to quickly dodge it. His sensors detected that his own Chaos Surge was running out of power and if he wanted to get rid off Sonic once and for all, he needed to be quick. Not only that, but Sonic was also holding onto the blue Chaos Emerald, and since they already lost the red Chaos Emerald to Amy and Minami, he needed to at least get that one.

Metal Sonic targeted his organic counterpart, firing several blasts from his chest. Fortunately, one of them managed to hit Sonic, causing him to fall on the ground. Metal Sonic rushed over to grab the blue Chaos Emerald, but Sonic managed to throw it towards Lucas, who caught it.

''If you think that we'll give you the Chaos Emerald, you're dead wrong,'' Sonic told his metallic counterpart, who shot him a glare, then suddenly rushed over to Lucas. The teenager's eyes widened, and he managed to dodge Metal Sonic, then started to run towards Sonic, with the robot being on his heels.

However, before Metal Sonic could swipe at Lucas, the whole Stardust Speedway shook, and it looked like it was falling apart. Ferra, Minami and Amy were also stunned by what was going on, with Ferra getting into contact with Dr. Eggman.

''What is going on with the AR Field?!'' she asked.

''I decided to close it! Get out unless you want to get yourself killed!'' Dr. Eggman replied, disconnecting the call. Ferra felt her heart race as she realized that the AR Field would collapse all around them, and turned to her partner. ''Metal, we need to leave! NOW!!''

Despite wanting to complete his mission and beat up Sonic, Metal understood the urgency in Ferra's tone. He flew over to her, with both then vanishing from the AR Field. Meanwhile, Minami and Amy joined Lucas and Sonic, noting how the roads all around them were collapsing.

''We don't have all of the Chaos Emeralds!'' Lucas pointed out, giving the blue Chaos Emerald to Sonic. ''We need to find the others before we get trapped here for good!''

''I think I know where to find the others! Hold on tight!'' Sonic said as his friends gathered around him, holding the blue Chaos Emerald up. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!''

xXx

''Chaos Spear!''

Siphoning the energy from the green Chaos Emerald, Shadow summoned a barrage of Chaos Spears, flinging them towards the EggRobos, shattering each and every one of them. Next to him was Knuckles, who gave the purple Chaos Emerald to Lily so he was free to fight Super Mecha Sonic. The Sonic look-a-like curled into a ball, flying towards the echidna. Knuckles braced himself, attempting to punch the robot, but was instead sent flying and landing on the platform just at the edge. He was fortunate that he didn't fall off. He saw Super Mecha Sonic flying towards him once again, summoning an energy ball and firing it at Knuckles. The echidna managed to roll over, dodging it, then getting up and rushing towards Super Mecha Sonic. However, before he could land a hit, Super Mecha Sonic suddenly glitched out and vanished.

''What?!'' Dr. Starline was shocked to see that the robot was gone. ''This was not supposed to happen!''

The screen before him suddenly crackled and he was surprised when Dr. Eggman appeared. ''Starline! The AR Field is collapsing, so unless you want to get killed, get out!''

''B-But, Doctor-! The mission-!'' Dr. Starline stuttered, but the screen already went black. The whole Sky Sanctuary Zone shook, slowly vanishing out of existence, with the data particles fading away. ''No, no, no! How could you do that, Doctor?! We need the Chaos Emeralds!''

''Chaos Blast!''

Dr. Starline cried out in panic when Shadow's Chaos Blast hit the Egg Mobile, causing it to fall and the platypus Irregular hit the ground hard. He sat up, feeling numb from the impact, only for his eyes to widen in horror when he saw Shadow and Knuckles approach him, both with murderous looks on their expressions.

''I guess I should listen to the Doctor,'' Starline muttered. As much as he wanted to fulfill his mission, he valued his life more. He could try again another time. Quickly pressing the top of his glove, he vanished before the dark hedgehog and red echidna could murder him in a brutal fashion.

''Darn it, he's gone!'' Knuckles growled, with Shadow turning to him with a grim look.

''We have more pressing matters to worry about,'' he said, pointing at their surroundings. Touka and Lily had joined them, taking note of how the floating platforms were falling into the dark abyss below.

''We need to find the others and get the rest of the Chaos Emeralds,'' Touka said in an urgent tone. ''That the only way for us to escape!''

''Right, but how are we going to find-'' Lily started, only to be startled by a flash of cyan light. To their relief, they saw Silver, Makoto, Tails and Warren.

''We got three Chaos Emeralds!'' Tails shouted, his group rushing over to them. ''How many more- Agh!''

The platform they were standing on suddenly tilted, forcing the group to run towards the next platform. They were all breathing heavily, their surroundings becoming smaller and smaller as Sky Sanctuary was falling apart. They exchanged glances, only to get startled by a flash of blue light, with Sonic, Lucas, Amy and Minami appearing before them.

''Guys, are you-?'' Sonic was cut off by Shadow, who had managed to gather the Chaos Emeralds from Knuckles, Silver and Tails.

''Ask questions later, Sonic! We need to escape!'' he growled, with Sonic nodding, him and Amy giving up their own Chaos Emeralds. The seven gems started to surround Shadow as he focused on their energy, now far greater than the one he sensed from just one Chaos Emerald. A bright glow surrounded him and the rest of Team Neos as their surroundings grew darker and darker, turning into an unending void. ''CHAOS CONTROL!!!''

xXx

There was a blinding flash of light, with Team Neos losing all sense of direction, only to find themselves a moment later back on solid ground. Feeling somewhat dizzy, it took them a bit to recover. Sonic was the first to break the silence, rubbing his head.

''Woah… Hey, we're back at the workshop!''

The rest of Team Neos looked around, realizing that, indeed, Shadow had warped all of them back to the Taylor Workshop.

''Thank goodness that we got out of that AR Field,'' Amy said, taking a deep breath, with the rest of the group agreeing with her.

''Yeah, I don't want to repeat this experience,'' Lily said, glancing at Shadow, who was currently being looked over by Touka. It seemed that using the Chaos Emeralds like this did affect him as well.

''Shadow, how are you feeling?'' Touka asked. Shadow just shook his head, getting up.

''The Chaos Emeralds are gone,'' he said. This caused a moment a silence, with the group exchanging confused glances.

''How could they just vanish?'' Minami asked. Tails, who got up, reached for the Miles Electric in his backpack, having kept it on during this whole adventure.

''I think I may have an answer…'' he said, connecting the Miles Electric to the computer and analyzing the data. ''Since the Chaos Emeralds were created inside the AR Field, once it ceased to exist, so did the Emeralds. I would have to put a bit more time into this, but it seems to be the most logical outcome.''

''So, even if we attempted to take them out of the AR Field, we wouldn't have been able to do so?'' Silver asked. Tails nodded in response.

''Well, that's good news. This means that Eggman wouldn't have been able to take them either,'' Sonic said.

''Yes, but wouldn't he be able to re-create the AR Field and the Chaos Emeralds?'' Knuckles asked.

''I doubt it,'' Lucas said, drawing everyone's question. ''Sonic and I saw that the Chaos Emeralds were a result of Shadow using his Chaos-based powers, so unless Eggman had access to Chaos Energy, he wouldn't be able to repeat this on his own.''

''So, it's over?'' Makoto asked. Lucas nodded.

''It's over.''

Team Neos was quite relieved to hear that their adventure was indeed over. While this was quite an exhilarating adventure, they all just wanted back to their normal life.

xXx

''Doctor, why would you cause the AR Field to collapse? We could've taken the Chaos Emeralds!'' Dr. Starline said, completely baffled by his idol's decision.

''As it turns out, that wasn't possible after all,'' Dr. Eggman responded, pointing at the screens behind him. ''The Chaos Emeralds were a by-product of the AR Field and Shadow's Chaos Energy. Even if I attempted to replicate what happened, I wouldn't be able to do that without the hedgehog.''

''So, this whole mission was a failure from the start?'' Dr. Starline asked, quite disappointed. There was a sigh coming from the other side of the room, the source of it being an annoyed Ferra and Metal Sonic. To everyone's surprise, Dr. Eggman grinned.

''Oh ho ho ho, on the contrary, Dr. Starline; I believe that this mission was quite important. We know now that it is possible to create Chaos Emeralds, and while we don't have the means, we do have the necessary data for that. So, I wouldn't shelve this plan yet,'' Dr. Eggman replied.

''Ah, so it was a success then!'' Dr. Starline said, clasping his hands, looking quite happy with the news.

''Indeed,'' Dr. Eggman replied, sitting down in his chair as he observed the data on the screen. ''All we have to do is to take advantage of what we know.''

xXx

Rouge shivered as she crawled through the air-vent, tugging at the golden collar around her neck. She knew that she was in a very dangerous place and that she needed to escape, but for that, she needed more information and a way out. She was trapped in this place, and all she could do was to spy on those who have trapped her here. She managed to come across an opening at an office, hearing voices coming from it.

''This is the autopsy report from the Sakamoto case.''

There was a pause as the other person in the room, a man with dark grey hair and wearing a grey and dark green uniform read the autopsy report the agent brought him.

''So, the Professor had indeed died from blood loss, and his body was moved. Have you managed to track down where his body was before someone tampered with it?'' the man, who appeared to be a quite high-ranking officer.

''Unfortunately, we haven't,'' the agent replied, with his superior frowning. ''We are doing our best to find Hiroshi Sakamoto's murderer.''

Rouge felt chills flowing down her spine as she overheard this. She did not have pleasant memories associated with that name.

''What about Project Shadow? Have you managed to track down the Irregular?'' the man continued. Rouge gasped, quickly covering her mouth and hoping nobody had heard her.

''It appears that Miss Kageura had been keeping him at her house. We don't know how he was found, but it is possible that Touka may have been able to recall her memories,'' the agent replied.

''I see…'' the man furrowed a brow. ''Get them over here. We believed that Project Shadow was a waste of time, but perhaps the weapons project may end up being a success.''

Rouge felt sick to her stomach after hearing this. She wanted to warn Shadow and Touka that they were in grave danger, but that was impossible, especially with her current situation. She just hoped that they would be able to avoid capture.

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#Sonic Cyber Revolution (Masterlist)

[madladmorty]

Can we reclaim Voldemort? Seriously, I wanna do that-

If you read the books, you can, amongst all the transphobia and antisemitism, find a lot of queer coding in Voldemort. Specifically trans/non binary and aromantic.

Look at that fucker, and then look me in the eye and tell me he would be a transphobe. If you can, I politely and respectfully ask you to fuck off because that is not the vibe at all.

The aromantic coding isn't even coding at this point. While, yes, Rowling got it quite wrong about where aromantisism comes from with Voldemort, (for a shockingly nice representation of it I recommend looking at Charlie Weasley), he is canonically aromantic. He doesn't understand love, it's a foreign concept to him. It doesn't make him evil, in fact my aro friends agree that they actually find him a little relatable in that way. Like, wtf is this thing that everyone is constantly talking about? I don't get it. It's weird.

As for trans/enby, bare with me here.

As a trans person myself, I can actually match up to the muggle raised wizard experience in general, but Voldemort has added stuff.

For starters, he always knew he was different, knew he wasn't like the rest but also realised that talking about it would result in a worse situation for himself. Very relatable. I remember when I was very young and finally realised that, no, girls don't all want pixie sticks. I don't why, but I felt that I had to shut up about it because some things are just better left unsaid.

I think the biggest trans/enby coding in Voldemort is the name change. Unfortunately, the way Voldemort's name is treated does somewhat reflect experiences of real trans and non binary people. No one calls Voldemort by the name he has chosen for himself, except the those who view him as a threat. In fact, Harry, egged on by Dumbledore who also does it, flat out deadnames him. To his face. Dumbledore even acknowledges that he uses a different name now but STILL calls him Tom just to seemingly assert dominance. Real mature, Dumbledore, real mature.

Then there is the fact that he has undergone drastic physical changes that people around him view as 'monstrous', 'unnatural' and 'deformed'. That ring any bells? As a trans guy it sure does for me, as Abigail Shrier in her infamous book Irreversible Damage claims that trans guys have a 'bulldozed female profile' and says over and over that we are mutilating ourselves and having our womanly features stripped from us as if we didn't choose this for ourselves.

So please, can we reclaim Voldemort? We can really expand him as a character, it's incredibly easy. I don't condone his wizard nazi views, but we can give this complex, multifaceted, nebulous being the respect and depth that he truly deserves. what do think?

[cheerscoops]

Wherever You Point To I’ll Find ~ Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham

Nobody expected a budding romance between Steve and Chrissy when they were invited on this graduation road trip. But, as the two spend more and more time together away from the pressures their families, they just might find that they’re the perfect match.

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Tags: modern au, road trip, mutual pining, fluff, angst, discussion of mental health and body issues, eventual smut, adult themes and swearing throughout

Word Count: 16.1k

A/N: tumblr gave me hell trying to get this posted, so hopefully it goes up this time

Anyway, this chapter brings the story to just under 50k, and I still have 6 more chapters to go. It's wild to me that I've already written that much about these two, and that number is going to more than double before I'm done. Thanks for following along with this story so far!

After giving Steve an ample amount of time to look around the shack, the group was back on the road. They stopped for pizza on the way and ended up making it to Myrtle Beach before it was too late. The only snag in their plan was the fact that most hotels in the area seemed to be fully booked for the night.

“Check this motel up here,” Nancy said as Steve started to turn into the next parking lot. “I’m sure they’ll have vacancies if nothing else. I can’t believe I forgot to book a hotel sooner."

As soon as Steve put the car in park, Nancy hopped out to go check and see if they had any vacancies. There was no reason for them all to get out of the car if they weren't going to be staying there. They waited as Nancy talked to the clerk for a few minutes, and soon she was jogging back to their car.

"So, the good news is that we have a place to sleep tonight."

"And the bad news?" Eddie asked.

"They only had one room left, so we're all going to have to share. But there are two beds, so Chrissy and I can share one, and you and Steve can share the other. It's either that or we all sleep in this car."

"I think the four of us can manage to share a room with no issues," Steve said. "It's better than sleeping in the car."

"Or camping again," Chrissy added.

"Definitely better than camping."

"Then it's settled. I'll go grab the room key, and then we can get ourselves situated."

The beds in the room were a little bit smaller than they would have liked considering they were sharing, but they could make do. They all took turns using the bathroom to get ready for bed, and Chrissy tried not to freak out about having to share a room with Steve. She didn't know why she was so on edge about it. It wasn't like she had to share a bed with him or anything like that. 

But then he came out of the bathroom without a shirt on, and she had to force herself not to stare. Honestly, it should have been illegal for him to walk around like that. He wasn't allowed to have this kind of effect on her. It wasn't fair.

She tried to busy herself with fluffing up her pillows, but it didn’t help that she and Steve had both chosen the sides of the bed that were next to the end table shared between the two. If she really wanted to, she could have reached out and touched him.

Despite the fact that she'd slept on the ground the night before, she had slept surprisingly well, and she was attributing that to sleeping next to Steve. She felt so safe with him, and now her mind was wandering towards how nice it might have been to share one of these beds with him. She could snuggle up next to him, and maybe he'd wrap his arms around her and hold her close. She'd fall asleep feeling protected, and she'd wake up to another one of his sleepy smiles. Maybe even a good morning kiss.

No. She wasn't allowed to have those thoughts. There was nothing between them no matter how much she might have liked that. She still didn't know why he'd been so upset with her when she showed up at his tent, and there was no way he was interested in her if he was that cold towards her. He'd only let her stay with him because she was scared, and he was too nice to turn her away even though her very presence annoyed him. That was the only logical reason why he put up with her. Why anyone put up with her really.

She pushed those thoughts away and rolled over so her back was to Steve. Maybe if he wasn't in her line of sight, she could fall asleep without thinking about how nice it would be to be his.

***

When she woke up the next morning, Chrissy felt awful. Not because she'd slept poorly. She'd surprisingly gotten a decent amount of sleep despite feeling like she was freezing from the way that the room's air conditioning was blasting and being afraid that she was going to invade Nancy's side of the bed.

No, she woke up feeling horrible because it finally dawned on her that she was going to be expected to wear a swimsuit and show off her body in public. She hadn’t been sticking to the carefully formulated diet her mother dictated for her, and everyone was going to notice how horrible she was certain she looked now because of that.

As everyone took turns using the bathroom to get ready for the day, Chrissy sat on her bed completely zoned out. There was no way she could go through with a beach day. She’d feel awful and exposed the entire time, and she knew she wouldn’t enjoy herself. However, she also knew that this wasn’t her trip. She was just along for the ride, and she felt like she had no right to dictate what they did when everyone else was really looking forward to their beach days. She thought that maybe she could say she wasn’t feeling well and opt to stay back at the hotel for the day, but she knew that would never work. She knew her best friend, and she knew that if she said that she was staying back at the hotel for the day, he’d give up his day to keep her company. Or, even worse, he’d convince everybody else to stay with her, too, and she’d effectively ruin this trip for everyone. She’d just have to suck it up and go to the beach with everyone else. Maybe she wouldn’t even look as bad as she thought she would, and then all of this worrying would be for nothing.

When it was finally her turn to use the bathroom, she gathered her belongings and locked herself inside to change. When she got a look at herself in the mirror, that ever present gnawing feeling in her chest only grew stronger. Normally, she loved her high-waisted bikini because she felt like it covered her problem areas nicely, but today was different. She thought she looked so bloated, and she knew it was because she’d eaten nothing but junk food the day before. She’d been trying to eat mostly healthy options on the trip so far, but the day before had been filled with fast food. Fat and salt and grease and all the things she was supposed to be avoiding if she wanted to be the perfect girl that she was expected to be. She’d ruined everything with her lack of self-control, and she could hear her mother’s voice repeating I told you so over and over and over in her ear.

It was then that she decided that she wasn’t taking her coverup off for the entire day. She’d sit there in her oversized t-shirt and shorts and watch everyone else enjoy the water. She couldn’t let anyone look at her, or she’d feel even worse about herself and the choices she’d made that led her to this point.

While Chrissy was struggling to get her t-shirt to drape just right to hide her body, Nancy was starting to get impatient back in the room.

“I’m going to head down to the car,” she said as she grabbed her beach bag. “We need to leave soon if we want to have any hope of finding a decent parking space. Just head out to meet me when she’s done, okay?”

Steve knew that Nancy wasn’t going to be okay with waiting very long. She was a stickler when it came to the schedule she’d made for their trip, and she wasn’t going to be happy if they had to park too far away and then walk the extra distance back when they were exhausted after a long beach day. He didn't want to make Chrissy feel rushed, but he knew that Nancy was going to start complaining about their schedule being thrown off if they didn't leave for the beach soon. So he tried to make his urging seem lighthearted.

“C'mon, Chrissy,” he said, throwing on his Kermit the frog impression. “We've gotta get moving right along.”

Chrissy was immediately pulled away from her self-loathing thoughts as she whipped out of the bathroom.

“I can't believe you told him,” she said, glaring at Eddie. “You promised you wouldn't say anything.”

“Tell me what?” Steve asked.

“I didn't say anything,” Eddie replied.

“Oh yeah? Then why did he do that?”

“Tell me what?” Steve asked again.

“I didn't say anything,” Eddie repeated, ignoring Steve again. “He's just like that.”

“Oh.” Chrissy got very quiet and stared at the floor.

“Can someone please fill me in on what's happening?” Steve asked.

“Do you want to tell him, or should I?” Eddie asked.

“It's silly and embarrassing,” she said, avoiding making eye contact with Steve. “I'm just a really big fan of the Muppets.”

“Why is that embarrassing?”

“I don't know. It just feels childish for them to be my favorites, I guess.”

“Well, I don't think it's childish. The Muppets are cool,” he tried to reassure her.

“You're making fun of me.” The pit in her stomach grew, and she couldn't help but feel so small. This was why she didn't tell people about this part of her personality. As soon as anyone found out she loved the Muppets, she instantly became a joke in their eyes.

“I promise I'm not making fun of you,” he told her. “There's nothing for you to be embarrassed about.”

“Really?” 

She finally looked up from the ground, and Steve was smiling at her. Not a mocking smirk like she'd feared, but a kind one. A smile that said whatever opinions he had of her hadn't been changed by what she'd just told him.

“Really. I mean who doesn't like the Muppets?”

A wave of relief washed over her, but it was short-lived because Eddie was incapable of letting her hold on to a single shred of her dignity.

“She sleeps snuggled up with a Fozzie Bear plushie,” he said before racing out the door to meet Nancy down at the car.

“Do you think Nancy would be upset if I drowned her boyfriend?”

“You're really that embarrassed by still having a stuffed animal? Even though I've given you two of them in the past week?”

“Fozzie is different. A gift from a cute boy is very different from a stuffie that I've had since I was a little kid. Nobody will take me seriously if they know I still take comfort from a stuffed animal.”

What she wanted to say was that no one would find her attractive if they knew about Fozzie, but saying that would mean admitting out loud that she wanted Steve to be attracted to her, and she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet. Especially on a day like today where she knew she was the opposite of desirable.

He chose to ignore the fact that she'd called him cute. As much as he would have loved to tease her for that, he could tell that wasn't what she needed right now. He didn't want to risk her going quiet on him again, and he was pretty sure that's where she was headed if he didn't do something.

“Can I let you in on a secret?” he asked as he closed the gap between them.

She nodded and looked up at him.

“I still have the stuffie that I slept with as a baby.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I mean, I don't sleep with it anymore or anything like that, but I've kept it safe and hidden through multiple cleanings by random people my mom hired to clear the useless clutter out of the house. Sentimental reasons and all of that. So, I get it. I'm not going to make you feel bad for having an attachment to a childhood toy. I think it's normal, and if it makes you happy, there's nothing wrong with that.”

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome. I need you to keep that information to yourself though. Not even Robin knows about it, and I'd like to keep it that way.”

“I think I could be persuaded to keep that secret for you. Unlike Eddie, I don't spill secrets for fun.”

“Go easy on him, okay? He might have been the one to bring up Fozzie, but it was kind of your fault he had the opportunity in the first place when you really think about it.”

“I guess so. He's lucky I love him, or I really would drown him.” She beamed up at Steve. “So, what kind of animal is it?”

“That's classified information.”

“Come on. You know about Fozzie. It's only fair.”

“Sorry, Chrissy. I've given you all the info about it that you're gonna get. Now grab your bag and head out to the car before Nancy comes back in here and drags us out.”

“So bossy,” she teased.

Steve reached out to pinch at her hip, but she dodged him as she grabbed her beach bag off the bed. She stuck her tongue out at him before racing out the door and heading towards the car with him following close behind her.

The ride to the beach passed without incident, and they still managed to get a decent parking space, so Nancy was pleased. Everything was perfectly fine until they'd set up their spot on the beach.

Chrissy may have solved the issue of not wanting to expose her body that day, but she'd conveniently forgotten that that didn't mean everyone else would be staying covered up as well. That fact was made all too apparent when a shirtless Steve approached her with a bottle of sunscreen.

“Would you mind helping me get my back?” he asked as he handed her the bottle.

“Yeah. Sure. No problem.”

He turned around so that his back was to her, and she had to stop herself from falling over. She'd seen him without a shirt on before. Just a few brief times during the trip and only before she looked away out of embarrassment. Those few brief moments hadn't prepared her for this.

She knew he was fit, and that was even more obvious as her hands ran up and down the length of his back to work the sunscreen into his skin. Actually feeling his muscles under her fingertips was almost too much for her.

But the thing that truly made her blush was how fixated she was on the freckles and moles that dotted his skin. This man was a mosaic, and she wanted to sit and count them all.

She couldn't do that though. If she took too long doing this, it would be weird, and he'd be uncomfortable around her, which was the last thing she wanted. So, she rubbed the last bit into his lower back before dropping her hands away completely.

“Okay. You're all set.”

He turned back around to face her and took the bottle that she'd offered back to him. She hoped he didn't notice the blush that she was certain was now gracing her cheeks, and if he did notice, she hoped he'd think that maybe she was only a little sun-kissed already.

“I can get your back for you, if you want,” he offered.

“Oh, you don't need to do that. I'm not going out in the sun anytime soon. I was just planning on staying here under the umbrella for a little while.”

“You're not going to get in the water?”

“I'm not really a beach person,” she said with a small shrug. That was a lie, of course, but it was necessary. She needed a reason to explain why she wasn't taking off her clothes, and that was as good as anything else.

“Why didn't you say something sooner?”

“I didn't feel like it was my place to object to a multi-day, already planned portion of the trip. But seriously, don't worry about me. I'm happy to just hang out in the shade.”

“Do you want me to sit out with you? Keep you company?”

“You don't have to do that. Go have fun with Eddie and Nancy. Maybe I'll come hangout with you guys in a little bit, okay?”

“If you're sure. I don't want you to be bored over here by yourself.”

“I'll be fine. I promise. Don't worry about me.”

He left her to make herself comfortable in the shade of their beach umbrella, but he would have been lying to himself if he said he wasn't a little worried about her. He thought she'd seemed excited about the beach when they'd talked about this portion of the trip in the days leading up to it, and now she was isolating herself from the rest of them. 

He didn't want to dwell on it too much, but he kept finding himself glancing back towards where she was sitting. She looked fine though, so he told himself that she was just having an off day.

But then she didn't eat lunch. When everyone else was ready for food, she told them that she wasn't hungry just yet, but they didn't need to wait for her. He'd offered her some of his fries anyway, and she'd looked at them as if he'd just offered her a mouthful of sand. He didn't press the issue, but it worried him more than her sitting out all morning did.

He didn't know why he cared so much when he was still feeling somewhat hurt about the way she'd reacted when she found him reading. He shouldn't have cared if this girl who judged him was choosing to avoid having fun with her friends or skipping meals, but he did. And the more she kept to herself and gave flimsy excuses, the more he felt the urge to make sure she was okay.

When everyone else was ready for dinner, she claimed that she'd eaten a late lunch, so she wasn't hungry, and Steve's concern for her only grew. He'd tried to be subtle about it, but he'd spent the better part of the afternoon keeping an eye on her after she'd declined joining them for a swim. Other than a trip to the restrooms, he didn't think he'd seen her leave her spot under the umbrella once. Maybe she'd gotten a snack at some point, but he doubted it. Something was seriously wrong with Chrissy, and he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know if she'd even want him to fix it. He just knew he had to do something.

When the sun was just about to set, Nancy and Eddie wandered off to have a private moment together leaving Steve with the perfect opportunity to try to find out what was wrong. He approached her with two rocket pops that he'd purchased from a nearby ice cream cart, and he offered her one as he moved to sit down next to her.

“I'm really hoping you like rocket pops,” he told her as he handed her the treat. “I wasn't sure what flavor you'd choose, and I always got these as a kid because I was really indecisive, and they're three different flavors, so I figured I couldn't go wrong with this one, you know?”

With the sun setting, the breeze seemed especially cool, and he noticed that she was shivering a little as she hugged her knees to her chest. Before she could say anything about the popsicle he'd given her, he turned around and grabbed his windbreaker from where he'd tossed it that morning. He draped it around Chrissy's shoulders and gave them a little squeeze.

“That sea breeze is no joke,” he said as he offered up a small smile.

That was somehow the wrong thing for him to say because the next thing he knew, Chrissy was crying. This was the last thing he wanted to happen, and he was struggling to figure out what he could do for her.

His struggle was short-lived because Chrissy spoke up.

“Why are you so nice to me?” she asked. She was avoiding making eye contact with him, choosing to stare at the popsicle instead.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what is all this?” she asked as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand. “The popsicle and the jacket. The plushies. Making me feel safe when I was scared and reassuring me whenever I'm upset about something. I've been racking my brain, and I can't understand why anyone would be so nice to me. And I know you said that sometimes people are nice just because they want to be, but I don't deserve that kindness. I don't.”

If he didn't think she'd brush him off, he'd pull her closer to him and hold her until she stopped crying. This was obviously something that he couldn't fix with a popsicle and a smile.

“Who made you think that you don't deserve to be treated with kindness?”

Chrissy shook her head and wiped at her eyes again.

“That's okay,” he told her. “We can just sit here quietly. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”

So, they sat in silence. She waited until it had started to melt a little bit, but Chrissy did eat her popsicle. Steve wasn't counting that as a win though. Not when she was still so upset and shutting down on him. Not when he could still hear the occasional sniffle coming from her direction.

Once the sun had almost completely set, Chrissy started to feel braver. Maybe it was because Steve had sat with her while she cried and hadn't tried to force her to speak or maybe it was because she felt more hidden without the sun beating down on them - she just knew that, for the first time, she wasn't afraid to tell someone what was going on in her head.

“My mother,” she said, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“You asked me who made me think I didn't deserve to be treated with kindness, and I'm giving you an answer. I don’t talk about this with anybody because it’s not exactly the easiest thing in the world for me, but I don’t have the best relationship with my mom. I’ve always been the family disappointment, and nothing I do is ever good enough in her eyes.”

“I find it really hard to believe that a girl like you could be the family disappointment,” he told her. “You’re perfect.”

Chrissy huffed out a laugh.

“That’s because I have to be. Perfect, I mean. And I thought that maybe not being around her during this trip would help, but I can hear her telling me what a failure I am every time I do something that she wouldn’t approve of, and it’s actively ruining this trip for me. I usually love the beach, but I sat out today and punished myself for my bad eating habits because I could hear her telling me that it was obvious I’d gone off my diet and that everyone was going to stare at me because of how horrible I looked. Even now, I can hear her saying how foolish it was for me to waste calories on a treat when I’ve already done so much damage to myself with all of the junk I’ve been eating on this trip so far.

“She’d be furious if she ever found out that I was badmouthing her, but right now, I don’t care. The other day, you asked me why I never sing, and that’s her fault, too. I’ve wanted to be in musicals for as long as I can remember. I love them. I love the way that they make me feel, and I wanted nothing more than to provide other people with that same feeling. But then I was eleven, and I was singing along to whatever musical it was that I was obsessed with at the time, and my mother came in my room specifically to tell me that I had a very unpleasant voice, and I needed to stop doing that because it was never going to get me anywhere. So I did.

“I did everything she told me to. I joined cheerleading because she said that was something that I was better skilled for. I dated the boy that she wanted me to date. I became friends with the people that she wanted me to be friends with, and now pretty much all of them don’t even talk to me anymore because they sided with that boy during our breakup. The only thing I haven’t gone along with is cutting Eddie out of my life. I’d be a truly miserable person without him, and I won’t let her take him away from me, too.

“It’s like she’ll never be happy if I’m not miserable though. She picks and she picks and she picks until I feel so small that I just go along with whatever she says because that’s easier than standing up for myself while she takes away everything that has the potential to make me happy. And even if I do everything that she wants, I’ll never be good enough for her. She’ll never be proud of me.”

Chrissy hugged her knees closer to her chest and willed herself not to cry anymore. Letting all of that out had felt good in the moment, but now she was embarrassed that she’d word vomited on Steve and let him see through the cracks of the imperfect mask she wore.

“I’m sorry,” she told him. “I don’t talk about this with anybody, and I just dumped all of that on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s clearly something you needed to get out, and I’m glad I could be here for you.”

“Thank you.”

He might have seemed calm and collected on the outside, but on the inside, he could feel the anger building in his chest. Chrissy deserved better than that, and he had no way of fixing this. He didn’t know if it was something that really could be fixed.

But he understood how she felt. Her situation was different from his, but it pained him how much he related to her. So, while he couldn’t fix the hurt that she was feeling, maybe he could show her that she wasn’t alone.

“You know, your mom’s voice will get quieter eventually,” he told her. “Once you’re spending less time with her and more time with people who care about you and see the best in you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you and I are more alike than you think.”

He smiled at her, but she could tell there was something sort of bittersweet to it. There was a sadness in his eyes even though he was very clearly trying to be positive for her benefit.

“You know how I had that job at Scoops Ahoy?”

She nodded.

“Well, it wasn't exactly my decision to work there.”

“How does that have anything to do with the way my mother talks to me?”

“My dad and I have never exactly seen eye to eye about who I should be and what I should be doing with my life. I'm the family disappointment, too. I grew up knowing that I was never going to be good enough to be the man that he expected me to be. That's just how it was in my house, you know? I was always a problem because I didn't anticipate exactly what he wanted. Being on the basketball team or the swim team wasn't good enough unless I was the captain and did the best or the most in every single game. And even then, I still wasn't good enough. I could have scored the game winning point, and he would have complained that we didn't win by enough, which was obviously my fault because I didn't score enough. Stupid stuff like that.

“So when I graduated high school with mediocre grades and didn't get into a single college, I figured he was going to be even worse than normal. By then, I'd gotten pretty used to tuning him out, but it still hurt. It still sucked to hear nothing but negativity from him. He didn't say anything about it though. Just hung up the phone when I called to tell him since he and mom were on one of their long business trips at the time. That almost hurt worse. Yelling and belittling me? I can handle that. I was used to that. But him being so angry that he couldn't even speak? That was a whole new level.

“When they got home, the house wasn't up to their standards,” he huffed out a laugh. “It's so stupid to me now that it's almost funny. It wasn't even messy. I hadn't put the recycling in the garage, and there was a basket of laundry I hadn't folded yet in the kitchen. Maybe I'd left a towel on the floor or something, too. I don't really remember. I just know that he acted like I'd burnt the house to the ground instead of it actually looking a little lived in for once. He went on this tirade about how me not getting into college didn't mean that I could sit around the house doing nothing all day and wasting his hard-earned money. Told me that I didn't realize how good I had it and that it was about time for me to get a job and develop a real work ethic. Which is so stupid because I'd worked the past three summers as a lifeguard at the community pool, I was babysitting pretty regularly, and I was already actively looking for a job. I just hadn't found something yet. He didn't know any of that though. That would have required him to actually be present or to talk to me about something other than what a failure I am.

“Anyway, he made me apply for every single open job in Hawkins - even ones that I was in no way qualified for - and he made me put him down as a reference on every single one. That way he could bad mouth me to everyone who was interested in hiring me. He decided that the Scoops Ahoy uniform was humiliating enough, and that's why I ended up working there for the last year.”

“I'm so sorry,” she told him. “That sounds awful.”

“It wasn't all bad,” he said with a shrug. “I mean, the sailor uniform was awful, but at least it was comfortable. And I got to spend the year working with my best friend instead of in a boring office job with a bunch of mindless drones who kiss my dad's ass. The job was more for the humiliation than anything else, and he didn’t kick me out or cut me off, so I was able to save pretty much everything I made, so I'll eventually be able to move out and get my own place without using any of his money to do it. I'm glad that I never have to put in another shift there, but I don't hate that I had the experience.”

“Silver linings?” she asked.

“I guess so.”

There was more he wanted to say to her. Needed to say to her really. He was just afraid that he’d hurt her when she was already so vulnerable. It had to be said though, so he took a deep breath and huffed out a sigh before speaking again.

“The worst part about it was that I felt like I deserved it,” he started. “My dad has been telling me that I’m too stupid to make something of myself since I was old enough to understand what he was telling me. I was too stupid to get into college, so I was too stupid to work at his company or do any kind of job that wasn’t completely mindless. The only thing I was smart enough to do was scoop ice cream. I still struggle with the lasting effects of my dad’s words, so I know that what you’re dealing with isn’t easy. But, when I’m surrounded by the people I care about, my dad’s voice disappears. It gets a little easier to tell myself that I’m better than that.

“That’s why it hurt so much when you were surprised that I was reading. I’m used to my dad and people who don’t know me or have made assumptions about me thinking I’m dumb. ‘Of course, Steve Harrington can’t read. He’s just a dumb jock. He probably doesn’t even know what books are.’ But I thought that you and I had really been connecting with each other. That you’d seen past all of that and I could be real with you. So, it really stung knowing that you saw me as that stupid, and it reinforced the fact that maybe there is a little bit of truth to everything my dad has said over the years.”

Chrissy’s heart sank. None of that was true. She’d never once thought he was stupid, and she couldn’t let him think that about himself. She scooted closer to him on the blanket and grabbed one of his hands, gripping it tightly in her own.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “So, so incredibly sorry. I don’t think you’re stupid at all, and I’m sorry that I did something or reacted in some way that made you feel like you were. That was never my intention, and I would never purposely do something to make you feel bad about yourself. I will admit that I was surprised to find you reading, but not for the reasons you thought I was. Never for those reasons.”

Steve avoided looking at Chrissy and instead stared at where she was holding his hand.

“Why were you surprised then? If you don't mind me asking.”

“You’re just so different from what I expected,” she admitted. “I may not have officially met you until this trip, but it was hard not to hear stories about the King of Hawkins High just like I’m sure you heard plenty of stories about me. You’re so different from the person that I was led to believe you were, and the Steve that I’d heard so much about didn’t seem like a reader. Not because of how smart you hypothetically were or weren’t but because that just didn’t seem like a hobby you’d enjoy. But I think it's wonderful that you're a reader. I loved getting to see a side of you that not many other people have gotten to see, and I hope I didn’t ruin whatever connection we had. I would hate it if we couldn't be open with each other anymore because of something I did.

“And, for the record, there are a lot of things that are far more important than being the smartest person in the room. You're funny, you're so incredibly kind, and you care about people with your whole heart. I mean, just look at how much time you've spent taking pictures of a squirrel figurine just because you know how happy it's going to make your friend. You're so selfless, and I see you putting everyone else's needs above your own constantly. You've been doing that with me this whole trip.

“I know I haven't known you for very long, but anyone who spends five minutes with you can see that you're the very best kind of person, and your dad is a fucking idiot if he can't realize that.”

Steve was quiet for a moment. Partially because of how touched he was by what Chrissy had said and partially because he was pretty sure the strongest curse word he'd heard her say so far was “darn,” so he hadn't been expecting such a forceful statement from her.

“Thank you,” he finally said as he gave her hand a small squeeze. “Now, you say the same thing about your mom.”

She shook her head.

“I can't.”

“Yes, you can. Your mom is clearly a fucking idiot if she can't see that you're perfect just the way you are. I know it, and you know it. You just gotta get up and say it.”

She hesitated and bit her lower lip before shaking her head again.

“I really can't.”

“C'mon,” he said as he poked at her side with his free hand, smirking when she giggled and tried fidgeting away from him a little. “You'll feel so much better if you get up and yell it. She'll never find out because she's not here to hear you say it, and I'll hold your hand the entire time if you want.”

He moved to stand and then offered her his hand to help her up. She let him pull her to her feet, and soon they were standing together hand in hand.

“I'm right here,” he told her, giving her hand a small squeeze. “You don't have to do this alone.”

Chrissy nodded and took a deep breath as she turned to face the shoreline. She could do this. She knew she could do this. With Steve by her side, she could do anything. Everything would be okay.

“My mother is a fucking idiot!” she yelled out at the horizon. Her eyes went wide, and she covered her mouth with her free hand. She was silent for a moment, but when she moved her hand away, Steve could see that it had been hiding the largest smile.

“I did it. I can't believe I did it,” she said as she turned to face him.

“You did.”

Chrissy dropped Steve's hand before practically leaping at him to wrap her arms around his neck. He caught her and wrapped his arms around her waist, but the force of her body colliding with his knocked him off balance on the uneven ground, and soon they were falling backwards into the sand. He landed flat on his back with her directly on top of him, and after the shock wore off, they both dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“I'm so sorry,” she said through her laughter. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”

“I'm okay. Are you?”

“Never better.”

Neither of them made any moves to get up or separate their bodies from each other. One of his hands was resting against the small of her back, and she felt so seen as he looked into her eyes. With their bodies pressed together like that, she could feel his chest moving with every breath he took, and she was certain that he could feel the way her heart was pounding against her ribcage. If there was ever a moment for her to kiss him and finally express that she was interested in him the way that she hoped he was interested in her, now was the time. She just had to make her move.

He reached up to brush her hair back behind her ear as she leaned in, and just as their lips were about to touch -

“Chrissy! Steve!” Eddie called out, effectively ruining their moment.

Steve cursed internally as Chrissy immediately moved off of him and tried to put a little distance between their bodies. Eddie had the worst timing in the world.

Steve tore his gaze away from where Chrissy was now hiding her face behind one of the sleeves of his jacket and looked over at Eddie who was carrying a very sleepy-looking Nancy on his back.

“Are you guys ready to head back to the motel?” he asked. “Nance is falling asleep on me, and I'm probably next.”

“Yeah, we can go,” Steve replied. “Just gotta pack up our umbrella and blanket first.”

“You good, Chrissy?” Eddie asked, finally noticing the way she seemed to be trying to get that jacket to swallow her whole.

“I'm fine,” she said without looking up at him. “Perfectly fine.”

Truthfully, she couldn't have been more embarrassed if she tried. She'd been about to kiss Steve after insisting that they were just friends, and now Eddie was never going to let her live it down. And the worst part was that she didn't even get to kiss him. They didn't kiss, the moment had passed, and she was afraid she'd never get the courage to be so bold again. Maybe, if she was lucky, Steve would take charge and be the one to kiss her, but she was afraid that their one perfect moment had passed them by to never be recreated again.

She tried not to dwell on that too much, but it was the only thing she could think of on the drive back to the motel, and it was the only thing she could think of as she waited for everyone else to be done with the bathroom so she could take a shower. That thought was surely going to consume her.

While Chrissy was in the shower, Steve headed out to attempt to find a vending machine so he could get them all a drink. Once he was gone, Eddie flopped over next to Nancy on her bed.

“Eddie, no,” Nancy groaned. “You'll fall asleep.”

“I won't,” he insisted even though his voice was barely loud enough for her to hear him.

“You will. And then where will Chrissy sleep?”

“She can sleep here, too. I don't mind.”

“No room. Get in your own bed.”

“Five minutes.” He buried his face in her neck. “I'll get up when she's done. Promise.”

When Chrissy exited the bathroom, Eddie and Nancy were curled up next to each other and fast asleep with him softly snoring as he held her caged in his arms. Chrissy would have thought it was cute if it didn't send her straight into a panic. If Eddie was sleeping in her bed, that meant she was sleeping in his bed. And, if she was sleeping in his bed, that meant she was sharing with Steve. Steve who she would have kissed if they hadn't been interrupted. They were going to be sharing a bed that had barely felt big enough when she was sharing with Nancy, and she was certain it was going to feel ten times smaller when she was laying next to him.

She cautiously sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to make herself seem casual even if her insides were in knots. She was just about to get up and go hide in the bathroom when Steve reentered their room.

“I came out of the bathroom, and they were like that,” she blurted out before he could say anything. She didn't want him to think she'd planned this or encouraged it in any way.

“I had a feeling that might happen,” he admitted. “I didn't expect either of them to be up when I got back, if I'm being honest. I figured Eddie'd at least fall asleep in our bed though.”

“He didn't.”

“No, he did not.”

Steve moved to hand Chrissy one of the water bottles he was carrying before grabbing his pillow off the bed and tossing it on the floor.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Eddie took your spot, so you need a place to sleep. You take my bed. I'm fine on the floor.”

“Oh. I thought we could share.”

Of course, he didn't want to sleep next to her. That was too much for her to expect. He probably hadn't even wanted to kiss her, and she would have made a fool out of herself if they hadn't been interrupted.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked. “It'll be kind of crowded, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I'm not letting you sleep on the floor. I think we can manage just fine, don't you?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

He grabbed his pillow off the floor and placed it back on the bed before climbing in and making himself comfortable. She followed his lead and climbed into the bed next to him after turning off the lights, but she tried to keep as much space between them as humanly possible. He had been worried about her comfort, but she was worried that she'd crowd him too much. She had a bad habit of clinging to anyone or anything that was sharing her bed with her. She could have blamed it on her being afraid when they were sharing the tent, but she'd never forgive herself if she made things even more awkward between them now.

Steve noticed that she was trying to put space between them and failing miserably. He knew what it had to be about because it was the same thing that he couldn't stop thinking about: she'd almost kissed him on that beach. He was sure that's what was about to happen. If they hadn't been interrupted, she would have kissed him, and he would have gotten to tell her how much he'd been wanting to do exactly that.

But that hadn't happened, and now they were in this weird limbo where they didn't know how to talk to each other anymore because that missed moment was hanging over them. He was afraid that the awkwardness building between them wouldn't go away until they'd actually kissed, and that definitely wasn't going to happen tonight. Not when Eddie and Nancy were sleeping in the next bed. But he had to do something so they could both relax.

“So, my Fozzie impression is nowhere near as good as my Kermit,” he said as he rolled over to face her. “But I can give it a shot if you're missing him.”

Chrissy shot up into a sitting position and playfully glared down at him.

“Are you making fun of me?” she asked.

“Oh, no. I would never,” he said with a teasing smirk.

Chrissy gasped and placed a hand over her heart in mock offense. The next thing Steve knew, she'd pounced and was tickling up and down his sides.

“Chrissy!” he sputtered out through his laughter. “Why?”

“C'mon, Steve,” she said as she continued her playful torture. “You wanted to be Fozzie, and Fozzie just loves to laugh.”

He tried to fight her off the best he could, but she was quick, switching spots around his torso whenever he tried to grab at her wiggling fingers, and it was hard for him to anticipate where she'd move next when his eyes were scrunched shut with laughter. She couldn't help but smile and laugh along with him as he flinched whenever she hit an especially sensitive spot.

Her hands traveled lower to squeeze at his hips, and he was finally able to grab ahold of her wrists and pull her hands off of him. His laughter died down, but his smile never left his face as he tried to regain his composure.

“This is adorable. Where else are you ticklish?” she asked, wiggling her fingers in his direction while he kept her hands trapped.

“No more. Please.”

“Can I have my hands back then?”

“Never. You've lost your hand privileges for being evil.”

“I'm a big sister. It comes with the territory,” she said with an innocent smile and a tiny shrug.

“Well, if that's the case, I should probably let you know that as an only child, I don't like losing at anything. Ever. Including tickle fights.”

Before Chrissy could protest, Steve was scrambling to switch their positions, and she was laying flat on her back with him hovering over her. He kept her wrists pinned with one hand and the other hand rested against her side. He made no moves to tickle her yet. Just held her there to build anticipation.

“And what if I said I wasn't ticklish?” she asked.

“I think we both know that would be a lie.”

He punctuated his point with a quick poke to her side in the spot that had her giggling and moving away from him earlier, and he smirked down at her as she bit her lower lip and squirmed in his grasp.

“Steve, we're gonna wake up Eddie and Nancy.”

“You weren't concerned about them at all when I was the one being tickled,” he teased with a flutter of his fingers against her side. “And since I was viciously attacked for offering to do something nice, I think this is only fair.”

He kept his touch teasing and light, just enough to make her start giggling and squirming, tracing patterns on her side with the hand that wasn't pinning her wrists. Truthfully, he just wanted to see her smiling. He wanted to erase any memory of her tears from the beach because he never wanted to see her that sad again. And if playing around like this made her happy, who was he to deny her a little fun?

Once he felt like he'd teased her enough, he released her wrists to make it a fair fight and started tickling up and down her sides much like she'd done to him. Her laughter picked up, but instead of trying to stop his hands like he'd done with her, she tried to tickle him back. She got in a few good pokes, but every time she tried to really get him, he moved to attack an exposed armpit, and soon her arms were retracting to try and protect what he was assuming was her most ticklish spot from the reactions she was giving him.

When he found a spot on her ribs that had her kicking her legs and laughing so hard that she snorted, she tapped out.

“Truce,” she managed to get out through her laughter. “Please.”

“Since you asked so nicely.”

Steve's hands slowed to a stop, but he made no moves to remove them from her sides. He just held her in place as she came down from her giggle high.

“I can't believe I snorted,” she said once she'd caught her breath. “That's so embarrassing.”

She covered her face with her hands.

He really wanted to kiss her.

Instead, he removed his hands from her sides and pulled her hands away from her face.

“I don’t know. I thought it was kinda cute.”

Chrissy was thankful for how dark the room was because she was sure her face was beet red. He couldn't call her cute when her skin was still tingling from the way he'd just had his hands all over her. She wasn't strong enough to handle this.

“We should probably go to sleep,” she told him.

“You're probably right. We've got another big beach day tomorrow.”

“I might even swim this time.”

“I'd really like it if you did.”

Steve rolled over to make himself comfortable, and without him practically on top of her, Chrissy finally realized how cold it was in the room. For such a crappy motel, they were really blasting the air conditioning, and the blankets on the bed just weren't cutting it. She didn't remember being this cold the night before, but she was pretty preoccupied with trying not to obsess over the fact that Steve was sleeping shirtless in the next bed. He was wearing a shirt tonight though, so she no longer had that distraction.

She started to think that maybe she wouldn't be so cold with Steve's arms around her again. All she had to do was get him to cuddle with her. How hard could that be?

“Hey, Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Is your offer to be my Fozzie for the night still on the table?”

God, he really wanted to kiss her.

Steve rolled back over and opened his arms for her, and she scooched over to him. She rested her head on his chest and draped an arm over his waist as she snuggled as close to him as humanly possible. As he wrapped his arms around her in turn, she immediately started to feel a little warmer. He was like a furnace, radiating heat and making her feel more comfortable.

Once she was fully settled against him, he leaned in towards her slightly.

“Wocka wocka,” he said in his best attempt at a Fozzie impression.

Chrissy gasped, and the arm that she had draped around his waist moved to tickle his side again.

“Hey!” he laughed as he grabbed her hand and pulled it away from his body. “I thought we had a truce?”

“My real Fozzie doesn't speak,” she said matter of factly. “He only snuggles.”

“My apologies.”

He gave her hand a little squeeze, but neither of them made any move to let go of the other.

“Goodnight, Steve.”

“Night, Chrissy.”

And so the two drifted off to sleep still holding hands.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Eddie woke up to use the toilet, and when he exited the bathroom, the light illuminated Chrissy and Steve snuggled up together in their sleep. He wasn't sure if he was really seeing it or if it was just a trick of his still half asleep mind. So, instead of turning out the light and going back to bed, he crept closer and took a quick picture of them with his phone. He couldn't guarantee that they'd still be like that in the morning, and he needed proof that this had actually happened to show Nancy once she was awake. It was going to be a lot harder for the two of them to deny that something was happening between them now.

***

When Chrissy woke up the next morning, she was laying on her side with her back pressed up against Steve's chest. His arm was draped over her and holding her close, and as far as she could tell, he was still fast asleep. A quick glance around the room told her that they were alone, but she could hear the shower running, so she assumed at least one of their friends was in the bathroom right now.

Normally, she was a morning person - the kind of morning person who liked to get out of bed and start her day immediately to be exact - but she was content to laze about in bed for the entire day if it meant Steve would keep holding her like that. The longer she stayed laying there the more her thoughts started to turn on her though. Even if he was cuddling her in his sleep, maybe he hadn't wanted her practically on top of him the night before. Maybe his initial offer of being her Fozzie for the evening really had been a joke, and he hadn't actually wanted to have her clinging to him like that. She'd been far too forward with him, and he wasn't interested in her in that way at all. He'd tell her that himself once he'd woken up.

And her mother would absolutely lose her mind if she knew that her daughter had shared a bed with a boy. Even if it was purely platonic - which Chrissy wasn’t even sure if it was - she could hear her mother calling her a tramp and telling her that only a common whore shared a bed with a man that she wasn't married to.

The more she thought about it, the more she needed to get out of that bed immediately, but Steve was holding onto her pretty securely. She tried to wiggle her way out of his arms, but he just seemed to hold onto her tighter.

“Good morning,” he said as he gave her a little squeeze, settling deeper into their blankets.

And, just like that, all of Chrissy's bad thoughts washed away. There was nowhere else she’d rather be when she could hear the smile in Steve's sleepy, scratchy voice. Any doubts in her mind about whether or not he'd really wanted to cuddle with her vanished when he only seemed to snuggle closer to her now that he was awake.

“Good morning,” she said, rolling over onto her back so she could look at him. His hair was sticking out in all directions, and he was looking at her with the sweetest, sleepiest smile. Her heart melted just a little bit at the sight. “You sleep okay?”

“Best sleep of my life. You?”

“Never better. Thank you for being my temporary Fozzie. I kind of really needed that comfort after everything we talked about. Plus, you're really warm. Kept me from freezing to death last night.”

“I see how it is,” he teased. “I'm just an object to you. Making me feel real cheap here, Cunningham.”

Steve tried to act offended, but it was hard to believe that he actually was when the smile never left his face which only made Chrissy start to laugh.

“And now she laughs at me! I save her from certain death, and she laughs at me. I’m wounded. Seriously wounded.”

This made her laugh even harder to the point where she snorted again and immediately moved to look away from him.

“Okay, I think I need to get up now,” she said as she started to work her way out of Steve’s grasp.

“No, I don’t think so. I’m not ready to start the day yet, so you can’t be ready either.”

“But what if I wanted to get breakfast?” she asked.

“Nope. You’re trapped. How tragic.”

He pulled her to lay with her back against his chest again as he burrowed deeper into their blankets.

“Well, if I’m trapped, I guess I have no other option than to accept my fate and stay here,” she said as she made herself comfortable again.

“A wise decision really. And, for the record, I don't mind being your personal space heater. It wasn't exactly an unenjoyable experience for me either.”

“Good to know.”

With Steve holding her like that, it was all too easy for her to fall back asleep until Eddie burst back into their room from outside.

“I come bearing sustenance!” he announced, holding up a couple of white paper bags.

She wasn't sure how long she'd dozed off, but the shower was still running, so it couldn't have been very long. But with Eddie back in the room, she was starting to feel self-conscious about how snuggled up with Steve she was. He didn't seem to care though, and he made no moves to stop cuddling her, so that helped to quiet those thoughts. If Steve didn't care about how much Eddie was about to tease them, she could try not to care, too.

But the teasing never came. Instead, Eddie just sat down on the edge of the bed that he'd shared with Nancy the night before and passed one of the bags over to Steve.

“I wasn't sure what you guys wanted since you were still sleeping when I left, but I went to this burrito place around the corner and just ordered whatever sounded decent,” he told them.

Steve moved to sit up and Chrissy had to stop herself from looking visibly upset about the fact that he wasn't holding her anymore. She moved to sit up as well and took the bag from Steve when he offered it to her. When she peeked inside and saw the size of the burrito that was left for her, she could feel her stomach starting to churn. It was massive. Much larger than anything she ever would have ordered for herself. She could already hear her mother telling her that everyone would think she was a pig if she dared to eat more than a single bite of that monstrosity, and she wanted nothing more than to set the bag aside and nibble on one of her granola bars instead.

But then Steve was nudging her with his elbow. She pulled her gaze away from her breakfast to look up at him.

“Fucking idiots. Remember?”

He offered up a small smile, and soon the furrow of her brow softened as she smiled back.

“Yeah. Fucking idiots.”

And, just like that, she was able to enjoy her breakfast. Nothing bad was going to happen to her if she ate this breakfast burrito. She didn't even notice the weird look that Eddie was giving them until he spoke up.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What was what?” Steve answered.

“You know what. Anything you two wanna share with the class?”

Before either of them could respond, Nancy opened the bathroom door and poked her head out.

“Eddie, could you give me a hand here? My bikini top is twisted, and I'm having trouble fixing it on my own.”

Eddie pushed himself off the bed and made his way into the bathroom where Nancy immediately closed the door behind him. She was already fully dressed, and there were no issues with her top like she’d said.

“After you showed me that picture, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to pester them about what happened between them last night?” she asked in a hushed tone. “They’re not going to tell us anything if you put them on the spot like that.”

“Well, you’re ninety seven percent of my impulse control, and you weren’t out there.”

“Okay, so how about instead of questioning them before they’re ready to tell us what’s happening, you text Robin that picture and get her opinions on this situation? She might have a better insight into whether or not Steve's really interested in her or not.”

“But I already know Steve's into her,” Eddie admitted. “He's just waiting for her to make the first move.”

“When did he tell you this?” Nancy asked. “Actually, better question: why is this the first that I'm hearing about this?”

“While we were camping, and I could have sworn I told you.”

“No. This is completely new information for me, and this changes everything. What are the chances that Chrissy makes the first move though?”

“Slim to none.”

“That's what I was afraid of. Group text with Robin?”

“Way ahead of you.”

All Eddie did was drop the photo he'd taken of Chrissy and Steve asleep together, and soon Robin was spamming them with messages.

Robin: !!!!

Robin: what?

Robin: when?

Robin: how?

Robin: details! I need details!!!!!

Eddie: don't know. last night. also don't know.

Nancy: but they're clearly flirting with each other

Eddie: and neither of them are willing to make the first move so it's physically painful to watch them

Robin: has he done the hand size thing yet? that's a classic move on his part

Nancy: no. not in front of us at least. but they've been holding hands quite a bit, so I wouldn't be surprised if he has.

Robin: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Robin: why is this the first I'm hearing about this?

Robin: I demand constant updates!

Eddie: any tips for getting steve to kiss her already?

Robin: leave them alone as much as possible maybe? they're both probably feeling pressured because of you two constantly staring at them

Nancy: I am not constantly staring at them

Nancy: eddie on the other hand

Eddie: hey! I don't stare.

Eddie: I occasionally observe to make sure my best friend is having the best vacation possible

Eddie: it's what she deserves

Robin: sure

Robin: just let me know when they kiss!

“So, what do you think?” Eddie asked. “Think we can manage to give them some alone time?”

“I have an idea for that actually. Get back out there and give me five minutes to tie up some loose ends in here, alright?”

“As you wish.”

Eddie made his way out of the bathroom and back into the room’s main area where he found Steve and Chrissy still sitting practically on top of each other in bed even though they’d had plenty of time to move apart while he was gone. As much as he wanted to continue pestering them about how snuggled up they were when he came back from getting breakfast, he was trying to behave and do as Nancy said. There would be plenty of time to question them later, so he focused on finishing his burrito instead.

“I know we’re supposed to stay here for another night, but I can’t stay in this motel another minute,” Nancy said when she finally emerged from the bathroom. “That bathroom is disgusting, and we need more space than this. I did a little research this morning, and I managed to find a bed and breakfast not too far from here that has two open rooms, so we’re staying there for our last night here. Make sure all your stuff is packed before we leave for the beach so we can deal with checkout now and never have to come back here again.”

Chrissy felt a little conflicted with this new information. On one hand, the idea of a cozy little bed and breakfast where she’d have more space and a shower that didn’t look straight out of a horror movie sounded heavenly after two nights in their cramped and dingy motel room. However, she knew that meant that her opportunity to snuggle up with Steve for another night was officially off the table. She knew it was silly of her to expect that they’d end up sharing a bed for a second night in a row since that hadn’t been part of the plan for the night before in the first place, but she was still somewhat hopeful that Eddie would have fallen asleep in the wrong bed again to give her another chance.

“Sounds great,” Steve said before turning towards Chrissy. “Do you want the bathroom next, or should I go first?”

“You go first. I can wait.”

Steve finally got out of bed and gathered up the things he'd need in the bathroom. Once he was inside the bathroom, Nancy put part of her plan into action.

“I'm sorry you two had to share a bed,” she said as she started to repack her suitcase. “I told Eddie that he couldn't stay with me, but I fell asleep and couldn't stop him from doing the same.”

“That's okay,” Chrissy told her. “We didn't mind.”

“Still. It wasn't really fair to you. I know how small these beds are, and it couldn’t have been comfortable for either of you.”

Chrissy remained quiet. Part of her wanted to talk about last night with Nancy. Getting another woman’s opinion on the situation sounded so appealing to her, and maybe she’d have advice on how to proceed. The issue was that she didn’t want to talk about this in front of Eddie. She loved her best friend. Honestly, she did. There was nothing about him that she’d ever want to change, but she knew him. She knew that he would tease her about this, and that wasn’t what she needed when she was so unsure about how she was feeling and whether or not she was making a fool of herself right now.

Almost as if she could read the uncertainty on Chrissy’s face, Nancy turned her attention towards her boyfriend where he was lounging on the bed and finishing off his burrito.

“Do you mind going to get us something to drink? Maybe just some water bottles from the vending machine? Please?” she asked him.

“I thought you wanted me to pack my stuff?”

“Well, you aren’t packing right now, and I would be very grateful if you gave us the opportunity to have a little private girl talk.”

Eddie glanced back and forth between the two for a moment before pushing himself up from the bed and heading towards the door.  

“You’re lucky I love you,” he said. “Both of you.”

“Thank you,” Nancy called after him as he left.

She waited until she was sure that Eddie was gone and made sure she could hear the shower running to be sure that Steve wouldn’t be able to hear them either before turning her attention back towards Chrissy.

“Steve didn’t do anything to make you uncomfortable, did he?” she asked as she moved to sit down next to her. “Because I’ll go in that bathroom and strangle him right now if he took advantage of you or forced you to snuggle up to him like that. Just say the word, and I’ll do it.”

“It wasn't like that,” Chrissy insisted. “Steve was very much a gentleman. Honest.”

“Okay, good. Because I really would have strangled him if that wasn't the case. Can I ask you something else then?”

Chrissy nodded.

“If he was such a gentleman, why did you get so quiet when I brought up the beds?”

“I just didn't want Eddie to tease me.”

“Why would he have teased you?”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“You know, I really want us to be friends,” Nancy said as she considered Chrissy's question. “Of course, we've technically hung out together before, but that was always Eddie's doing. We were both there for him and not for each other. Other than Robin, I don't really have any friends that are girls, so when Eddie invited you to come with us, I was excited for the opportunity to finally get to know you a little better. I want us to be close, so you can absolutely be honest with me, and I promise I'll be honest with you in return.”

A smile lit up Chrissy's face. She'd never voice these fears out loud, but she'd spent a great deal of time afraid that Nancy only put up with her because of her friendship with Eddie. That Nancy only saw her as her boyfriend's annoying best friend and tolerated her being around for the sake of her relationship. So, hearing that Nancy actually wanted to be friends with her outside of the context of what Eddie meant to them really helped to push those fears aside. She never did this kind of thing with the other cheerleaders, but she trusted that she could share what was currently on her mind without fear of judgment.

“Well, if I'm being completely honest here, I'm the one who asked him to cuddle with me.”

“You did?”

“I did. I mean, he offered, but I thought it might have been a joke at first? But then I asked him, and he didn't even say anything. Just opened his arms to let me get closer to him, and he seemed to care more about my comfort than his own. It was very sweet actually.”

She stared down at her lap as she remembered the feeling of Steve's arms wrapped around her, and she couldn't help but smile at the thought. What she wouldn't give to fall asleep like that again.

“Chrissy Cunningham,” Nancy said with a beaming smile of her own. “Is that a blush I see?”

“I don't know. Maybe?” she replied.

“I think you like him.”

“I don't think that really matters. We barely know each other.”

“So? Do you remember when I interviewed you and Eddie for the school paper? For your production of Pygmalion?”

Chrissy nodded.

“That was the first real conversation I ever had with Eddie, and I knew I liked him by the time I left that auditorium. I felt terrible about it because I thought there was something going on between the two of you, but the feelings were still there regardless. So, I don't think it matters how long you've known him. All that matters is what you're feeling and whether or not you want to act on those feelings.”

“I'm not saying that I like him,” Chrissy insisted. “But, say that I do have feelings for him? Am I making a fool out of myself?”

“I don't think so. I've seen the way he looks at you, and I think that he could maybe like you, too. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there.”

“That's easier said than done. I've never just told a guy that I'm interested before.”

“You haven't?”

She shook her head.

“Jason was my first real relationship, and he was the one who asked me out. I've been second guessing a lot of that whole experience lately, so I have no idea what I'm doing here.”

“I don't know what I can say other than Steve is a great guy. He won't make you feel bad about yourself even if he doesn't feel the same way. I should know. I have firsthand experience with him.”

“Does that make this weird for you? Me asking you for advice on how to flirt with your ex, I mean?”

“Steve and I weren't right for each other, and it was never going to work out between us. Maybe if this had happened right after we broke up, I'd feel differently, but I view him the same way that I view my younger brother now. He annoys me to no end, but I can't imagine my life without him in it, and I just want him to be happy. If you'll make him happy, then I'm happy to give you a little nudge in the right direction.”

“You really think I could make him happy?”

“Yeah, I think I do. There's just something about the way he smiles at you. So, maybe just give him the opportunity to make the first move if you can't bring yourself to do it. I don't think you'll regret it.”

“Thank you.”

Chrissy didn't know what else to say. She might not have been sure how she would make it known that she was interested in starting something with Steve, but Nancy had effortlessly cleared away a sizable amount of her nerves about the whole situation.

“You're welcome,” Nancy replied. “Now pack up everything you don't need for the day. I don't want to spend a second longer in this place than I absolutely have to.”

With that, Nancy got up to finish packing her own things and get a start on Eddie's bags as well. Soon enough, it was Chrissy’s turn for the bathroom, and she found herself rushing through her morning routine to be ready as soon as possible. After the conversation that she’d had with Steve the night before, she was actually looking forward to their day at the beach. Her mother’s voice was still there - she knew it wouldn’t disappear completely overnight - but it was slightly easier to ignore it when she could recall Steve telling her that she was perfect.

So, when they were finally settled into their beach spot for the day, it only took her silently repeating that her mother was a fucking idiot to allow herself to take off her cover up and let other people see her wearing a bathing suit. Even if she felt a little self-conscious, she knew that her nautical themed bikini kept the parts of her that she was the most self-conscious about covered with its high-waisted bottoms. She could be brave about this, but she still felt herself freeze when Steve looked in her direction. As he approached her with his bottle of sunscreen, she told herself to play it cool. She could handle this. She knew she could.

“Mind giving me a hand again?” he asked, offering her the bottle.

She took it from him and helped him apply the sunscreen to his back again just like she’d done the day before. When she was finished, she handed the bottle back.

“Mind doing the same for me?” she asked.

She turned her back to him and pushed her hair over her shoulder so it would be out of his way. She tried to keep her cool as he took his time making sure he covered every inch of exposed skin on her back, but this was very different from them being snuggled up while fully clothed. Her skin was on fire with every little touch, and she hadn't realized just how large his hands were until could feel how much of her back they could cover at once.

After what felt like an eternity and still not enough time, Steve placed his hands on her shoulders and gave them a small squeeze.

“You're all set.”

“Thanks,” she said as she turned around to face him. “I appreciate it.”

“You're welcome. Cute suit by the way,” he said as he reached out to fiddle with one of the decorative white buttons closest to the top of her bikini bottoms. “I like the blue. It really makes your eyes pop.”

“Thanks,” she said, avoiding meeting his gaze. This was the exact kind of opportunity that she knew Nancy was talking about that morning. It would be so easy for her to just reach out and run a hand up his arm. She could smile at him and give his bicep a little squeeze. Look up at him and bat her eyes. Move a little closer to him and make it so much easier for him to lean in and kiss her. It would be so easy.

But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not there and not in that moment. Flirting with him while she was so exposed felt too intimidating. She needed a little push which meant getting some alone time with Nancy to get her opinion on how to proceed.

“So, are you gonna get into the water with us today?” he asked, pulling her away from her thoughts.

“I think so,” she replied. “But I was hoping to have a little girl time with Nancy first if that's alright with her.”

“Absolutely not,” Eddie said. “You already had girl time this morning. It's my turn. You can't have her.”

With that, Eddie grabbed Nancy around the waist and lifted her to run away from his friends and towards the shoreline with her giggling and shrieking the whole way.

Chrissy and Steve shared a look, and she backed up slightly when she saw the mischievous smile that lit up his face.

“I'm not sure I like whatever you're thinking right now,” she said as she took another step backwards. 

The smile on her own face betrayed her, and soon, Steve was lunging to grab her. He lifted her with ease, and she clung to him as he ran to join Eddie and Nancy.

“Don't you dare drop me,” she managed to get out between her giggles.

It wasn't lost on her that Steve was treating her the same way that Eddie was treating his girlfriend, and she could feel her heart flutter as he gently let her down once they were about waist deep in the water.

“Look who's decided to join us today,” he announced to the other couple. “And only slightly against her will.”

“I was going to come out here eventually,” she insisted.

“Allegedly.”

Chrissy splashed in his direction which only led to him splashing her back, and soon they were enmeshed in an all out water war with Eddie and Nancy finally allowing Chrissy to act like the carefree girl she deserved to be.

***

When lunchtime finally rolled around, the group sprawled out on their blanket with sandwiches and chips from a nearby cart. After a morning of playing around in the water, they were all ready for a bit of a break.

“What are you looking forward to the most about being in D.C. tomorrow?” Nancy asked Chrissy as she started to unwrap her food. “I realized this morning that we never really got your input about what you wanted to do on this trip, and I could easily rearrange our schedule to include anything that we left out that's on any potential list you have.”

“Oh, I don't really have a list. This is your trip and not mine. You don't need to change anything on my behalf.”

“Don't be silly,” Nancy insisted. “This is just as much your trip as it is ours. If there's anything you want to do, I'll make sure it happens.”

“It's fine. Honestly, I'm just happy to be along for the ride.”

Steve frowned. If they hadn't had their heart to heart the night before, he might have believed her. But, knowing the pressure she was under to be agreeable and not be seen as a burden, he had a feeling that she wasn't allowing herself to do something that she felt might be an imposition. He felt compelled to make her realize that she was allowed to want things, and he thought he had a pretty good idea on how to do it.

When they finished eating, Steve excused himself saying that he was heading to the restrooms. Instead, he went in search of a vendor he was certain that he'd seen earlier. He quickly found them and purchased a single seashell collection jar. With a scrap of an old receipt, a sharpie, and some tape that he had in the glove box of his car, he made a new label for the jar.

Once he was happy with how it looked, he made his way back to where he'd left the group, and he found Chrissy by herself.

“I think Eddie and Nancy ran off to build a sandcastle,” she told him as he sat down next to her. “I told them I'd wait for you to get back.”

“This is for you,” he said as he handed her the jar. He watched as she eyed the label.

“The Chrissy needs to be nicer to herself jar?”

“Whenever I catch you being mean to yourself, you have to put a dollar in the jar. Every single time until we're back in Hawkins. And that includes you insisting that this isn't your trip, too. You might not have helped plan it, but you're an important part of it. For all of us.”

She was quiet for a moment, turning the jar over and passing it back and forth between her hands as she considered what Steve had told her.

“And what happens with the money at the end of the trip?” she asked when she finally spoke up.

“Well, if I see you putting yourself first, I might give you a dollar back, but I was thinking that we'd put this money towards doing something fun together after the trip.”

“Just the two of us?”

“Yeah. Just the two of us.”

“Okay. I can agree to those terms. Do I have to put a dollar in for saying I'm just along for the ride then?”

“I'll let that slide since it was before I made the jar. I just want you to realize that you're allowed to want things.”

“You know I'm not used to that.”

“I do.”

“Then you also know how hard this is going to be for me.”

“That doesn't mean I'm not going to help you get used to it.” He reached over and took one of her hands in his. “You deserve to be a little selfish sometimes.”

Chrissy didn't know if she could be selfish and put herself first. That went against everything her mom had forced her to believe over the years. She was supposed to be agreeable and go along with what everyone else wanted or else nobody would ever want her. But then there was Steve who was giving her hand a little squeeze and smiling at her and telling her that it was okay to care about her own happiness. She didn't know if she could do what he wanted her to do, but when he cared about her this much, she knew she could try.

***

Once they'd finished another long day at the beach, they made their way to the bed and breakfast that Nancy had found that morning. Nancy pulled Chrissy inside with her to check in, leaving the boys to unload and carry in all of their bags from the car.

“Now, you can say no to this, and I won't be mad at all,” Nancy said once they were out of earshot. “But I was maybe wondering if you'd be willing to share a room with Steve tonight? We have a room with one bed and a room with two beds booked, so obviously you would get the room with two beds. It's not like I'm expecting anything to happen between you two, and I don't want you to think this is me putting any pressure on you to make that kind of move on him or anything. It's just that Eddie and I really haven't gotten much alone time on this trip, and I'd really like to have a night for just the two of us, you know? But only if you're okay with sharing with Steve by yourself. If you're uncomfortable with that, just say the word, and you and I can share like we originally planned.”

The idea of sharing a room with Steve was both exciting and terrifying for Chrissy. On one hand, she'd never spent the night alone with a boy with a before. Not unless you counted Eddie, and she certainly didn't since there was no physical attraction between them. It was different with Steve. She still hadn't built up the courage to make a move or even let him know that she was open to him making a move, and sharing a room with him definitely threw that door open in a way that she wasn't sure if she was ready for.

On the other hand, the idea of potentially getting to sleep snuggled up to him again was so appealing. And knowing that there were two beds in the room helped to calm her nerves because she didn't have to share with him if she ended up being too afraid to ask him for another night of cuddles. They could just be two people sharing a room. Nothing had to happen between them.

“I can share with Steve,” she decided. “I don't mind.”

“You're literally my favorite person right now,” Nancy said as she pulled Chrissy in for a hug. “Thank you. I owe you one, okay?”

“Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your alone time with Eddie.”

Nancy got them checked in just as the guys entered carrying their bags.

“Steve, you're sharing with Chrissy if that's alright with you,” she said as she passed Chrissy her room key.

“I am?” That certainly wasn't the sleeping arrangement he'd expected.

“The room has two beds, and she's already agreed to it. You're allowed to say no though.”

“If it's fine with Chrissy, it's fine with me.”

“Perfect. We'll see you two in the morning for breakfast then.”

With that, Nancy started to make her way towards her room pulling a very confused looking Eddie behind her.

“So, are you actually okay with this, or do I need to make you put another dollar in the jar?” he asked once the other couple was gone.

“We shared a bed last night, Steve. I'm past being uncomfortable with sharing a room with you. Besides, it'll be just like our first night at the motel. The only difference is that we don't have to share our beds or listen to Eddie snoring.”

“Fair enough.”

They made their way to their room, and Chrissy called dibs on the first shower the second Steve had set down their bags. She wanted nothing more than to wash the sand and salt water out of her hair and put on some comfier clothes, and she wanted to do it as soon as possible.

When she'd finished in the bathroom, Steve took his turn which left her to think about their sleeping arrangements. To her, it was clear which bed Steve had claimed for himself. He'd set his bags at the foot of the first bed, and Chrissy's belongings were set on the second. She could easily accept this and climb into her own bed while he was in the bathroom.

But Nancy's voice was in the back of her head reminding her that all she had to do was take an opportunity to let Steve know that she was open to him making the first move. And what better way to let him know that than to be sitting on his bed when he came back into the room? And even if he didn't make a move and all they did was cuddle like they had the night before, that was still better than nothing at all. Maybe it was a little bit more bold than she was used to being, but she couldn't let herself sit on the sidelines while her life happened around her. She had to take charge in the little ways she could or else nothing was going to change.

So, without giving it another thought, she climbed onto Steve's bed and tried to make herself look casual as she flipped through instagram stories on her phone. Forget the fact that she was a bundle of nerves about how he was going to react to this. She could be cool and casual.

When Steve exited the bathroom and saw Chrissy lounging on his bed, he stopped in his tracks. He hadn't been expecting that from her after she'd made a point out of saying that they didn't have to share their beds that night. Yet there she was sitting on the bed that he'd claimed as if that was the most obvious place for her to be.

He was almost afraid to comment on it because he didn't want to scare her away. So, instead of saying anything, he just grabbed his bags and moved them over to the other bed. Then, he climbed onto the first bed to sit next to Chrissy.

“I don't know if you noticed,” he started. “But I kinda thought this was my bed.”

“I noticed. I just happened to decide that I wanted this bed, too. And I believe I recall a certain someone telling me that I was allowed to want things.”

Steve let out a laugh and smirked over at her.

“Careful, Chrissy. First, you invade my tent. Now, you're taking over my bed for the second night in a row. I'm starting to think you might have some ulterior motives here.”

She could have told him that she was hoping he'd take the hint, but she couldn't bring herself to make that final push. Instead, she playfully pushed his shoulder which only led to him pushing her back, and soon they were in a full on elbow war. Then, Steve got in one perfectly placed poke to Chrissy's side that left her giggling and squirming away from him. The same mischievous smile from earlier lit up his face again as he turned his full attention towards her.

“You know, I never did get back at you for ignoring our truce last night.”

“You wouldn't dare.” Chrissy's eyes went wide as she started to curl in on herself in anticipation.

“Oh, but I would.”

He was poised to strike, but before he could, she started laughing without him even touching her.

“Now, this is adorable,” he said with a wiggle of his fingers in her direction. All he had to do was hover his hands over her and act like he was about to touch her to elicit a ticklish reaction from her.

“Cut it out,” she said between her giggles as she tried to block his hands.

“Cut what out?” he asked. “I'm not even touching you.”

“You know what.”

She squeaked as he feigned moving to squeeze her hips, and she curled up even more in a failed attempt to shield herself.

Meanwhile, in the hallway, Eddie was trying to listen to what was happening in their room.

“Eddie, what are you doing?” Nancy asked when she exited her own room and saw him.

“C’mon. Aren't you curious about what they're doing in there? All I can hear is Chrissy laughing though, and we both know Steve isn't that funny.” he asked.

“Not enough to be pervy about it like you are right now. Get back in here and leave them alone.”

Back inside, Steve was about to tickle her for real when he heard voices outside their room that he was pretty sure were Eddie and Nancy. He paused his playful torture and signaled for Chrissy to be quiet with a finger pressed to his lips before getting out of the bed and creeping towards the door with her following close behind him. He waited a moment to make sure he could still hear them before banging on the door which earned him a very loud “fuck!” from whoever was on the other side.

“Good night, Eddie!” Chrissy called out.

They heard Nancy apologize on Eddie's behalf, and once he was certain they were gone, Steve turned his attention back towards Chrissy.

“Now, where were we?” he asked.

“Well, I think I was thinking of taking a late night stroll.” She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to shield all of her tickle spots from him.

“Really?” he asked. “Because I was thinking we were doing something else.”

He didn't give her a chance to run. He was quick, and he was able to pick her up and gently toss her back on the bed before she even knew what was happening. She didn't try to get away though. She just laid there giggling in anticipation as he climbed back onto the bed.

There was a moment as he climbed over her where he was struck with just how well they seemed to fit together. It would have been so easy for him to just lean down and kiss her, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want the story of their first kiss to be that they were in bed and it just happened. Chrissy was special. She deserved better than that. And even if that wasn't the case, he didn't want her to think that he was trying to pressure her into doing something more. He could wait another day to kiss her. For now, he could be content with another tickle fight and hopefully another night of her snuggling up to him for comfort.

***

When Steve woke up the next morning, he was sad to find his bed empty. After Chrissy had surrendered in their tickle fight, neither of them had really been all that tired, so they'd put on a movie and ended up falling asleep cuddling again. But now, she wasn't in his bed, and he missed that warm and fuzzy feeling he'd had waking up next to her the day before. There was barely any light in the room, so he figured it had to be fairly early. Maybe she'd only gotten up to use the bathroom, and she was going to be coming back to snuggle up to him any minute now.

A quick glance around the room told him that wasn't the case. Chrissy was sitting on the window seat with her head tilted to rest against the glass. She looked deep in thought, and she was slightly illuminated by the beginnings of the sunrise. He didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful girl in his life. No one could ever hope to compare the way that Chrissy looked to him now.

He pushed himself out of bed to ask her to come back to get some more sleep with him, and moved to sit next to her on the window seat, but she spoke before he could make his request.

“I wish that we could stay in this moment forever.”

Her voice was barely even a whisper. So quiet that it made him question if he was actually supposed to hear her. He did though. He heard her, and he realized that he was wishing for the same thing, too.

So, instead of making his request, he opened his arms for her. She moved to sit on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around her as she leaned back against his chest.

Sitting there with Steve, Chrissy felt the safest and the most content that she'd felt in a long time. And, as they sat there watching the sunrise together, she knew what she had to do. Today was going to be the day she told him how she felt. If it wasn't painfully obvious to him already, she had to let him know. Before the day was through, she was determined to open her heart to Steve Harrington.

[libellule-ao3]

Little Shenanigans

T-rated | One-Shot | 1 060 words |

Summary: Gossip about her relationship with Quinn is getting on Merula's nerves, and she's determined to divert attention from the rabble.

Pairing: Merula/Quinn (F/F)

Also on AO3

A/N: The adorable Quinn Lee in this story is the property of the no less adorable @eternalchaoschocolaterain, to whom I dedicate this ficlet.💝

I invite you to take a look at her work via the link above, if you don't already know her.

Enjoy!

Masterlist

Rumours about the nature of their relationship spread around Hogwarts castle like flu in December or like cursed Howlers with a Geminio curse.

The image always made Quinn laugh a lot. She couldn’t help imagining thousands of Howlers screaming indiscretions invading every corner of the castle, filled with students - and teachers! - eager for gossip to distract them from everyday life.

Quinn was very amused by the situation, but not so his girlfriend, who did nothing to hide her annoyance, turning her artificial violet eyes, and sometimes even her wand, on anyone who dared to talk behind her back in order to feel more important than the most powerful witch at Hogwarts.

“Don’t these idiots have anything better to do than spend all their time gossiping about every little thing we do?” she would get angry during their secret meetings. "They piss me off!"

Merula appreciated the attention of others for her prowess in the various fields of witchcraft. She loved to arouse admiration and made no secret of it. But she hated the constant attention paid to her private life, which aroused not admiration but unhealthy curiosity mixed with a healthy dose of intolerable judgement. Not because she loved a young woman - wizards were much more tolerant than Muggles in that respect - but because she was the daughter of a famous couple of Death Eaters.

“Let them tell it,” said Quinn, who had been used to being the centre of attention since she started at Hogwarts. “They’ll get bore. Protesting is just another way of drawing attention to ourselves.”

Merula wasn’t convinced. This had been going on for far too long. Days, weeks... months!

So, to encourage the populace to find something else to spice up their miserable conversations, Merula redoubled her efforts to show everyone that Quinn wasn’t worthy of her and that their reports weren’t worth public display. To no avail... Until the day when the two young women faced off in a fierce duel won by the witch of Slytherin.

Now there were more whispers:

“Did you see that? The beating she gave Quinn in that supposedly ‘friendly’ duel?” said an anonymous voice.

“Yes, that time I really thought she was going to kill her. It’s a good thing Barnaby intervened,” replied another indiscreet pupil.

“Speaking of which, don’t you think it’s suspicious? I mean, it’s not the first time Barnaby has been used as a human shield by Quinn. And the way he’s looking at her with those puppy dog eyes begging for a treat...” added another.

“Do you think he wants to go out with her?” said the first.

“Maybe, but I hear he’s already going out with Liz. Peeves overheard Penny telling Andre that Ismelda was furious after she caught them together feeding the giant squid,” informed a new arrival.

And on and on it went... Rumours were like fucking germs spread by the voices of people, using their ears to accumulate as much dirt as possible.

Thinking about all this, Merula tightened her embrace around Quinn’s aching body as she lay on a bed in the infirmary, injured after their terrible confrontation. The witch felt relieved to no longer be the victim of Hogwarts’ indiscretions.Quinn could not hold back a grimace.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you were that fragile,” Merula taunted bitingly.

Like hedgehogs, the witch always prickled up when she was going through a phase of insecurity, and Quinn had learned long ago to decipher all the facets of her personality.

“You’ve got to admit you didn’t pull any punches!” grumbled Quinn, before letting out a weary sigh and leaning back against her.

“We won’t soon have to play this comedy again: today I overheard Haywood telling everyone that the only thing we shared was the air we breathed and that if it were up to me, I’d make you disappear so as not to have you in my landscape, like that!” said Merula with a wolfish grin and snapping her fingers for emphasis.

“That bad? But what did you say to her to make her believe it?”

The young woman buried her blushing face in her girlfriend’s sparse hair, muttering something to do with her contempt for the insignificance of witches who were valued more for their celebrity than their talent.

Quinn burst out laughing, recognising in these words the bite of his girlfriend as she placed her lips at the base of his neck.

“You’re exaggerating! I remind you that we agreed that I would let you win this duel!”

“It doesn’t matter! Our strategy worked and I won’t have to abuse you any more!” teased Merula, redrawing a bruise on her girlfriend’s cheek with a delicate index finger.

“You can’t imagine how much I’ll miss it!

“So you like pain?”

Quinn straightened up, and with one smooth movement, reversed their positions on the bed. Now she towered over Merula, who gazed at her with a mixture of astonishment and defiance.

“No, I'm more of a revenge-seeking type,” Quinn announced mischievously, leaning down to place a bevy of kisses from her temple to her lips.

During the kiss, Quinn felt herself waver, and she forgot where they were, who they were. The entire universe was reduced to this infirmary, to Merula’s mouth and her hands studying her body like no one had ever done before. Nimble fingers slipped under the thin fabric of her shirt, slid down her stomach, making her skin quiver under the coolness of her palms.

“You’d better go. Madam Pomfrey will be back soon,” Quinn whispered against Merula’s lips.

“Lee promised to keep watch!” Merula protested, in the incisive tone she always used when her desires were thwarted.

“That’s true, but we shouldn’t abuse it. It’s nice enough that he’s our accomplice.”

“You’re not wrong,” admitted Merula, inwardly congratulating herself on Barnaby’s naïve disregard for public opinion.

She gave her girlfriend one last kiss before rising from her bed.

“By the way, maybe we should thank him: he was perfect in his role!” said Quinn.

Yes, that's true! Merula mused, frowning. Barnaby was soooo perfect in his role that he managed to irritate the most powerful witch at Hogwarts!

“But we should clear up a thing or two!” she exclaimed, her voice heavy with resentment.

“When you asked for his help, you should have clarified that he didn’t have to carry you like a bride!”

[nessiithatsme]

Unexpected Connection - Logan Henderson

Chapter 5

Logan

The restaurant was casual and relaxed, the soft lighting casting soft shadows across the table, the wine in our glasses a deep red, reflecting in the candlelight. We sat together, the boys and I, as if nothing had ever happened, as if we had never stopped on this crazy journey. And somehow it was. We had been through a lot in the last few years, but now it was that familiar, exuberant mood that had always connected us – just like in the old days.

"I swear, the best days were always when we were just hanging out together," Kendall said and downed the rest of his red wine in one gulp. 'Do you remember when we hid the cameras and Logan was convinced the crew would never find them?"

I laughed and raised my hands. 'Hey, I really thought that was genius. Those things were tiny – at least for the first twenty minutes."

Carlos shook his head and started snickering. "Logan, you ruined the entire shooting schedule with that stunt! I remember how the director almost had a nervous breakdown. In the end, we had to apologize collectively to the whole crew – and all because you absolutely wanted to play hide and seek!"

"Oh, come on, you were all in on it," I defended myself and clinked my beer with Carlos. 'We all survived it and kept our jobs, didn't we?"

"Yeah, because Carlos went down on his knees to the producers like a madman,' James interjected, pulling a grimace. "That was, I think, the moment when I first considered just punching you in the face, Logan!" James added with a laugh.

"I just made sure that we all continued to get work and didn't sabotage ourselves right from day one," Carlos countered with mock outrage, but couldn't stop laughing. "But Logan, with you it often felt like you saw yourself less as an actor and more as a chaotic ringmaster on set."

Kendall laughed and raised her glass to Carlos. "Honestly, Logan, you were the king of chaos. Script? Pff, what for? Stunts? Let's do something more dangerous! Crew mad? No problem, see you tomorrow! You kept everyone on their toes with your ideas."

"A little creativity never hurt anyone," I said innocently and shrugged.

"Creativity? Logan, sometimes what we allowed ourselves was borderline," Carlos shook his head and grinned. "And then I always had to pretend that I was the responsible one in the group."

"Yes, exactly!" James snorted. "Carlos, you never slowed us down! At most, you pretended to slow us down, just to kick ass at every after-party yourself."

Carlos rolled his eyes, but grinned crookedly. "Come on, I had to make sure that none of you did any nonsense on your own. If we're going to spread chaos, then at least do it together – team spirit and all that."

We all burst out laughing, the confusion of our voices blending perfectly at that moment and taking us back to the old, wild days for a brief instant. "All right, okay, we definitely overdid a few jokes," Carlos admitted, "but it was the best time, right?"

"Absolutely," Kendall said, raising his glass. 'Sometimes when I think back, I feel like we produced more chaos than content."

"That was our secret!' James interjected. "The show was really just an excuse to wallow in chaos 24/7."

We all laughed and clinked our glasses again before I took a deeper sip from my glass. I could feel how much we had all enjoyed that time that evening. And yet I knew that we would also get lost in conversations in which we would tease each other.

"Speaking of..." Carlos said, putting down his glass and looking at me with a curious look. 'Did you notice that Lydia wasn't in a good mood when we left?"

"Yeah, I noticed that too,' Kendall said, who had apparently picked up on the situation in the same way. "She was really tense when we said goodbye. What was going on?"

I sighed and leaned back, looking thoughtfully into my glass. I knew that the moment would come eventually, that they would bring it up.

"Hm... I guess it could be me," I finally said, shrugging. "I had a little run-in with the hotel manager today – Emma White. She was pretty... well, direct."

"Direct?" Kendall repeated, and I could already see the sharp grin on his face. 'I don't think that's enough to piss her off that much. What did you do, Logan?"

"I complained a little bit about my room. She wasn't too thrilled about it,' I said, trying to make it sound casual. But I knew that no matter how serious the situation was, it would always make the guys smirk.

"The hotel manager stood up to you, Logan?" Carlos' voice sounded almost too surprised to be true. "That's almost... an enlightening moment."

"Do you feel like you've finally found a woman who can really stand up to you?" James asked with a broad grin that almost made him look a bit too mischievous. "That must be it! It sounds like she's the first person who really knows how to put you in your place."

"What?" I said, trying to play it down. But it was too late, the damage was already done. The guys looked at me like they'd found the holy grail.

"Oh man, you really need to explain what happened," said Kendall, sitting down a little further. "You can't just say that a hotel manager gave you an announcement and then act like it's nothing. You somehow managed to always show us a little bit that you were the big guy. But here... she probably stole your show."

"Great, now you're telling me about the woman who stands up to me,» I said, leaning back in my chair to appear more relaxed. "She just gave me a little... advice on how to do things right here at the hotel. End of story.»

"Oh, Logan, you're amazing,» James laughed. "You never really realized that not everyone is impressed by you, did you?"

"Oh, give me a break," I mumbled while the guys laughed. 'It really wasn't that big of a deal."

"I don't know, Logan,' Carlos said, grinning from ear to ear. "It almost sounds like she threw a wrench in your plans a little bit. And now you're here trying to tell us she didn't teach you a lesson?"

"Guys, seriously, stop. She didn't teach me anything," I said, even though I knew that was exactly what they were doing. "It was just a... little discussion. But if you all enjoy it so much, then enjoy it."

"Do you know what this means, Logan?" Kendall said, winking at me. "It just means we found a woman who matches your level of skill. Now you have to ask yourself if you're ready to finally look at yourself in the mirror."

I rolled my eyes and tried not to get too involved in the conversation. But inside, I knew that they had hit the nail on the head. Emma White was definitely not the kind of woman you could easily overlook. And something about the way she had stood up to me didn't let go of me as quickly as I would have liked.

Emma

As we entered the Italian restaurant, I immediately felt the tension of the working day melt away. The familiar warmth, the smile of the waiter who greeted us – all of this made me feel at home. It was the perfect place to clear my mind, and to be honest, I couldn't wait to relax with Eliot. 

There was a pleasant lightness to the evening. Eliot and I sat at our table, surrounded by the familiar scent of Italian food—fresh tomatoes, garlic, and basil wafting through the air. The wine was good, and we talked about old times. About my childhood, the chaotic days with my parents, and our little quirks that always made us laugh. 

Eliot took another sip of wine, swirled the glass, and then looked at me with a mischievous grin. "Remember when I wrecked Dad's car?"

I felt my face change instantly as the memory came back. "Oh God, stop it, please. You mean the car that you treated like a race car when you were 17?" I asked, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"Yes, that's the one!" he laughed, leaning back. 

"And do you remember how you took all the blame even though it was really my fault?" Eliot grinned when he saw the look on my face, which immediately darkened.

I let out an annoyed sigh and looked at him. "I can't believe you're bringing that up now," I said, taking another sip from my glass to organize my thoughts. "And I was still so stupid and took the school on myself. I got three months of house arrest and a cell phone ban because of you!" 'Hey, who was your slave for half a year and did everything for you?' Eliot defended himself, raising his hands in supplication. 

"That's right!" I laughed. "And it was the best six months of my life. You really took care of me."

We laughed some more, as we always had. It was one of those intimate, relaxed evenings that you rarely get – and even more rarely enjoy when you're always in the hustle and bustle of life.

After a while, the conversation became a bit more casual, and Eliot, never at a loss for a joke, brought up the topic of something that visibly threw me off track.

"By the way," he said suddenly, glancing at the restaurant, 'when are you finally going on a date again?"

"Eliot,' I said with a sharp look. 'Not now."

"Come on,' he grinned. "You know I always keep an eye out for possible candidates for you. Look at the guys here – there's bound to be someone here who meets your standards."

"What do you mean by 'my level'?" I raised an eyebrow and took a swig of wine. 'You're not serious, are you?"

"Yes, sure,' he said with a smile that I recognized immediately. He pointed with a finger in the direction of the table directly behind me. "There, for example..."

I turned to the first man he pointed to. A guy in a dark blue suit who seemed a bit too perfect to me. The way he adjusted his glasses had something of a law clerk who had just made it out of college.

"Oh yes, sure," I said dryly, 'he's a bit too businesslike for me. And do you know that I don't feel like talking to someone who's always talking about stocks and taxes?' I then turned back and tapped my glass. 'Not for me."

Eliot laughed. 'You're impossible. But okay, we'll keep looking."

He pointed to a second guy sitting by the window, sipping an espresso. "You might like this one. He looks like an artist, a bit mysterious, don't you think?"

I had to admit, the guy had this mystical aura – he was short, wearing a striking leather jacket and a strange cap. The look in his eyes seemed to come from a completely different world.

"It's really not my style, Eliot. He looks like he talks about artistic topics all day while smoking expensive cigarettes. No, thanks," I said with a wry smile. 

"Really? He has exactly the right flair for you," he just said and kept laughing. "Okay, okay, but you won't be able to deny that there is a lot more choice here."

As he said this, I realized that he had let his gaze wander through the restaurant again, and then he pointed to another table, this time in the corner of the room. I turned slowly and looked where he was pointing without really thinking.

And then my heart stopped for a moment.

"What?" I said in a whispering tone and almost dropped the wine when I saw him. 

"Over there. The one in the middle. What do you think of him?" Eliot grinned as he pointed at the table.

I just stared – there sat Logan. My heart skipped a beat, and suddenly the room was a bit too loud, the atmosphere much too dense. Logan, together with his band colleagues. 

I could have recognized him anywhere, but it felt completely different to see him now. He was sitting there, smiling and with a glass of red wine in front of him, his bandmates next to him, laughing, enjoying themselves. But he – he looked like he recognized me right now, just as I recognized him. And that's exactly what I didn't want.

"Oh God," I murmured. "He's here."

"Who? The guy with the band?" Eliot asked, apparently unaware of what was going on inside of me.

"Yes," I said, forcing myself to remain calm. But inside, it felt like my heart was racing through my chest. "He's the... the guy I told you about."

"Ah, you mean Logan Henderson?" Eliot grinned even wider. "Oh, that's interesting. And what are you doing now?"

I ignored him. My eyes were fixed on Logan, who now seemed to be looking at me too. In that moment, I knew that there were no more ways out.

[positivelypositive]

Hey I've been told I'm terrible at committing to people, habits, hobbies. I want to change that. I'm stressed that I used to be able to do a lot of hobbies like music, writing, learning different skills on art but over time, I stopped. I'm in need of advice on how to get back on my groove and keep up habit to ignore everyone pressuring me not to do art or music or writing etc. I wanna do me and live my own life. How do I do that without coming to being like some insensitive person to others?

anon added this later:

Hi this is the anon earlier. I feel pressured by my parents on what I wanna do for living but at the same time I have no idea what I wanna do now. I love my parents and family but sometimes felt like I don't understand what they want from me but neither do they. I am not sure about what I want to do next, but I want to try and change to be a better person. At the same time, I'm stressed with societal pressure myself. I also feel like I couldn't succeed like everyone else and just felt like my life is a dead end where I'm gonna be forced to live with my parents for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love them but sometimes it feels so overwhelming to be around them and their expectations yknow? And I want to try living out my life one step at a time but I'm not sure where to start and how to say 'I want to live independently from them and see where it takes me' because I don't know how to say that and I don't really think it's possible. I just felt like if I live with them, I might just live the life they dictated instead of living the life I wanted and I don't really know if it's the correct thing to say here. Thank you for having this space.

hey anon,

thank you for feeling like you could share with me. and i'm sorry that you're going through this.

if i'm honest, i am actually in quite a similar situation right now. even though i got to choose what i do for a living, i have started to find that my life has been consumed by work so much that it's all there is to my life.

i have friends and hobbies and down time but all of that feels forced. i struggle with finding the will to actually put effort into the things i used to enjoy like reading, drawing, and painting.

i'm sorry for sharing my own troubles in response to yours but what i want to say is that you're not alone. there are more like us who are struggling but i think being aware of what the problem is is a big step towards solving it so we're on the correct track.

as for a solution, i have been thinking about this a lot lately and it's usually a matter of comparison and assumption that scares me. comparing my life to others and feeling left behind. and assuming that i will remain "left behind". when in reality, i have no proof or logic to back either claim.

left behind means nothing as a human. there's one life. if you're sincere and you persevere then you're doing okay. and assuming things that you don't know about is preemptive and often unnecessary pressure we put ourselves through. and for what?

i know how this is easier said than done but i know you and i can do it. let's introspect and see where we are and where we want to go. let's build an action plan to get there. i'm taking a therapist's help along the way and maybe you can too.

as for family, i love mine to bits and also live with them. you can love someone and still not like everything they do or say. look into creating boundaries. that helped me.

hope this helps and i'm sorry for my own rant in response. sending you hugs and positive vibes 💜✨