#non binary community

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[genderqueerdykes]

i don't care how uncomfortable you are around cis men, queer cis men still need places to go, and sometimes, those spaces will be shared with yours. disabled and neurodivergent queer men and queer men of color especially need a place to go. the queer community isn't the "fuck cis men" community. that is the rad fem community. if you think cis men and people who read as cis men are inherently "too scary" or shouldn't be allowed in queer spaces, you joined the wrong community.

[shutinthenutouse]

[queer-is-future]

so when straight people ask me why I say I’m “queer” or “gay” instead of sharing my actual identity as a panromantic demisexual non-binary sapphic queer I just tell them “ok look, when you’re talking to someone who isn’t local and they ask you where you’re from and you either say the name of the largest city nearby or ‘town name, suburb of large nearby city’ so they can get some geographical context of where you’re located right, bc they’re probably not going to know the name of the little town you actually live in.”

but if you’re talking to a local you can say the name of your actual town bc they have a greater chance of knowing where/what that is.

ok well when I’m talking to a straight person I start with queer bc chances are they aren’t as familiar with the context of all the little towns in that big queer city and need gps (gay positioning system) to find me.

if I’m talking to another queer person and I say I live in a suburb of gay city in a town called panromantic on the demisexual side of the tracks which is in the county of queer and I live off the intersection of non-binary and sapphic, they’d probably be able to find me with little to no problems, make sense?

[yellowyarn]

Actually, the "F" on my passport is for faggot, not female.

[milomilesmib]

Quick reminder that you don't need a solid sexuality! You can just be in love! Or not be in love! Or have a gender! Labels are a choice, not a requirement. All you need to do is be someone you like being! If labels help with that, great! But they are not required. You don't owe it to anyone, so don't feel pressured to choose labels if they aren't your thing!

[the-royalgarden]

A study just came out from Harvard about how gender affirming surgeries are more commonly performed on "cisgender men/boys" than transgender and gender diverse (TGD) people.

But these men/boys have gynecomastia which, if they were born with it (and the study doesn't specify), they're not just "cisgender".

They're intersex.

How many times now have intersex people told us perisex (non-intersex) people to stop using the statistics of their surgeries just as trans talking points, while erasing intersex people on the whole?

We have no idea how many of those surgeries were forced, or coerced, onto these intersex people. Either from doctors, parents, or even societal pressure.

Perisex trans people need to do better. We have to be better allies to intersex people than this. It disgusts me just how much we have failed our own community, time and time again.

UPDATE

The study actually specifically excluded intersex people.

"Importantly, all surgical procedures among patients with indications of differences in sex development or patients with other medical indications for surgery (eg, cancer, injury) were excluded..."

I'm happy to see this particular study has taken care to exclude intersex people, since surgeries done on them cannot be compared to transgender surgeries, but please bear in mind that this is still just one study.

The horrible truth is that medical abuse against our intersex siblings is still heavily normalized within the medical industry. From using terms like DSD, to forcing kids and even BABIES into sexual binaries with non or dubiously consensual surgeries or HRT, these horrors that intersex people have to go through are all too normal for them. That's unacceptable.

If you have reblogged this post without this update, I urge you to delete that reblog and reblog this version instead. We can fight for intersex rights and (if you're also perisex) show our solidarity without spreading misinformation.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[pannn-cakesss]

LOL

[spac3y-d0g]

shoutout if you hyperfixate

Shoutout if you say sorry to everything

shoutout if you have trouble speaking for yourself

shoutout if you overthink

shoutout if you snap for no reason

shoutout if you use neopronouns

shoutout if you don’t use pronouns

shoutout if youre part of the lgbtqai+

shoutout if youre trying your best

shoutout if you can’t handle every day life

shoutout if you don’t fit in your body/species

shoutout if you made it through yesterday <3

Adding more because it made me so happy to read through the comments and reblogs :3

shoutout if you’re 1 minute clean

shoutout if you successfully made it out of a abusive household/relationship

shoutout if you’re stuck in a abusive household/relationship

shoutout if you can’t communicate your needs

shoutout if you can’t love anybody in a romantic way

shoutout if you don’t know your gender/sexuality

shoutout if people don’t understand how your brain works

shoutout if you’re disabled

shoutout if you’re a person of color

shoutout if you don’t fit into stereotypes

shoutout if you do fit into stereotypes

shoutout if you love to fast

shoutout if you made it out of bed this morning

shoutout if you ate some food today

shoutout if youre hydrated right now

shoutout if youre trying your best to take care of your self <3

Whelp gotta edit this again bc of how many hate I'm getting with my "your" and not "you're" (dw I've deleted most of them) :(

[mirkobloom77]

💚🏳️‍🌈🇲🇽 This pride month I want us to remember Jesús Ociel

[Plain text: This pride month I want us to remember Jesús Ociel]

Jesús Ociel Baena Saucedo (1984-2023) was the very first non-binary person in Latin America to become an electoral magistrate, being a member of the Electoral Tribunal of Aguascalientes in Mexico since October 2022. They also received the first birth certificate to have the sex registered as Non-Binary, a big achievement in the recognition of Non-Binary people.

Amongst other things, they defended trans youth, gay marriage, the fair hiring of LGBTQ+ people in the INE and overall pushed for a public acceptance and the stop of discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community. Jesús was known for going to work with high heels, makeup and their iconic fan with the rainbow flag, often carrying the non-binary flag too, and they fought to give visibility to non-binary people. They won the hearts of thousands.

They are considered a very important figure for the LGBTQ+ movement, specially in Latin America, as they fought very hard to defend the rights of it, both socially and politically.

They were found dead with their partner, Dorian Daniel Herrera, in the 13th of November of 2023 in Aguascalientes, in their home. The prosecutor’s office affirms it was due to a fight the two of them had, but many say it was a hate crime; the murder of activists are not too uncommon in Mexico, and even more considering their gender identity and sexuality. The ‘crime of passion’ judgement is also often put when the death of an LGBTQ+ person happens.

Either way, their death has sparked movements to punish hate crimes, and their figure remains as a symbol of hope for a better future. Mexico has a long way to go for LGBTQ acceptance, but their actions have pushed towards that goal and their memory continues to push forward. I recommend you investigate further about them if you have the time.

And in your fight for LGBTQ+ rights and your celebrations this pride month, please do not forget about Jesús Ociel.

“We are, we exist, we resist and we go for the spaces that by right correspond us and that historically have been denied to us.”

- Jesús Ociel Baena Saucedo

Descanse en paz, magistrade 💚 acá a usted no se le olvida

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans boy, especially a teenage trans boy, i wanted to say that as a trans man in their 30's, you have my deepest respects and condolences for what you may be going through right now.

it has become socially acceptable and basically online custom to bully teenage trans boys & mascs, call them cringy, or excuse misgendering them for whatever reason. people put trans boys on this pedestal of "must perform masculinity and manhood to cartoonish degrees" even though they're still children.

people make trans boys fight for their manhood before they can even be boys. i am sorry people can be so judgmental and harsh on you. you are not wrong for wanting to be a boy. you are experiencing something wonderful. it's okay if you still want to be a boy even if people have treated you poorly, or tried to make you feel bad for being a boy. there is nothing wrong with being a boy.

it's okay if you never socially transition. it's okay if you're afraid to come out because it's not safe. it's okay if you never change your outward appearance. it's okay if you try very hard to pass but struggle to. it's okay if you wear "women's" clothing and shoes, bras, makeup, etc., it's okay if you're gay and love other men. it's okay if you're scared of hrt. it's okay if you don't want surgery. it's okay if you mainly occupy girl's spaces still. people will find every reason to pick these things apart and ridicule trans boys for, but they are all perfectly fine experiences that do not make you any less of a boy. you are the one who is in control of your transition, presentation, and state of being- you should be able to prioritize your safety over the comfort of random strangers who have no impact over how you live your life.

i've been put through this too, but later in life as i came out when i was an adult. people still try to make me feel bad for identifying as a trans man, for whatever reason they have in their head to justify hatred of a trans person. i've had enough. there will never be an excuse for how people try to excuse the infantilization and abuse that trans men and trans boys face.

take care of yourselves, no matter what age you are, if you are a trans boy, man, or masc you deserve to know that other trans men care about you, especially when people are scrambling to find ways to punch down on you. there are people who suck, but there are also a lot of people who care about you. keep your chin up. you know who you are

[shutinthenutouse]

[mime-rodeo]

give me ace characters who are unabashedly sexy and flirtatious.

give me aro characters who are emotional and clingy.

give me bi characters who can't even make eye contact with anyone, let alone flirt with them.

give me pan characters who are deadpan (haha get it) and have black cat energy.

give me non-binary characters who dress completely femme or masc, who don't “look non-binary”.

give me trans characters who don't completely pass as their gender but are still respected and not the butt of a joke.

fuck the stereotypes, give me more variety in queer representation.

[minkytaro]

nonbinary cat!?