#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.
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(Your tags deserved to live on!)
it's insane to me that people can't get past the nuances of rose and mickey's relationship and how they're both good people who don't do right by each other. like this is a show where the main character (allegedly) kills his entire species and you can't get past why two people who started dating in their teens might fuck each other up a bit
#I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever:#the takeaway from Rose and Mickey’s relationship wasn’t that Rose was bad for Mickey/a bad girlfriend#they were not right for EACH OTHER#Mickey was selfish and it’s heavily implied in EPISODE ONE that he has unfaithful tendencies#so for people to treat him like a poor bb victim suffering beneath Rose’s evil hand = insane#they grew up together. spent their whole lives as best mates#living in government housing#in close quarters without shit to do because shit costs money#so people relatively close in age with even remotely similar interests who are attractive tend to be drawn together#and people date who shouldn’t date — people fuck who shouldn’t fuck#not that this only happens below the poverty line but I’m just saying; given this situation#Mickey and Rose were never a good fit — they were just convenient and *there*#reinforced by the love you have for your mates#there were faults on both sides — and they were crazy young#no Rose wasn’t a great girlfriend to Mickey#but Mickey wasn’t a good boyfriend to Rose either.#they were doomed whether the Doctor showed up or not#let their enduring friendship stand as a testament to the fact that their platonic love was all that mattered in the end#god it drives me insane how people use the Mickey thing as ammo against Rose#when we have multiple examples of Mickey’s faults in S1E1#I feel like it’s all written in a very deliberate way so it feels really obvious#but then again — so was the Tentoo ending and people still be acting like that wasn’t a good ending for Rose#so I don’t know why I still expect any better from the general population#anyway it’s been a shit week to be an American and I’m a bit sensitive right now so don’t mind me
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❦ IDLE HANDS (Kuroo x f!reader)
Shameless, you think. Unsure if you mean him or yourself when you narrow the distance between you two.
a/n: little something for @husbandograveyard ♡ writing this made me a Kuroo girlie. i get it now. i really, REALLY do. also when i started writing this i was aiming for 1k or so idk what possessed me but here we are. maybe listening to bouncy while writing this wasn't the best idea (lie)
tags: f!reader, mild enemies to lovers, fluff, mutual pining, shameless flirting, food mention, bit of a slow burn, they're so in love your honor
wc: 3.7k
Kuroo Tetsuro is a heartthrob.
With his stupid messy hair and his stupid rolled up sleeves, showing off his stupid toned arms while he’s mumbling stupid sweet things to your favorite cat that’s currently coiling underneath his stupid big hand, getting the best belly rubs of her life from the looks of it.
It’s not like you’re jealous or something, no; it’s just that you’ve been coming to this cat café for a year now and you thought you and the calico shared a special bond. Maru, who is just as her name implies, very round and very soft, has been sitting and purring by your side while you spend hours typing page after page of your next book. She’d also stretch out all over your laptop and remind you to take a break when you’ve been going at it for hours. Yes, it took you some bribery to win her heart but over the past months she really warmed up to you. Wow, she usually isn’t this friendly with people, you remember the café owner say once.
What a blatant lie.
Your peace has been disturbed. A slight shift in the universe when he showed up for the first time merely a week ago. It was easy to remember him, because he was sitting in your spot with your favorite cat purring in his lap, looking like he didn’t have a single worry in the world except maybe that untamed hair of his (and even this was kind of charming, you had to admit begrudgingly).
Sharing usually wasn’t a big deal for you–until it was. You come to this cat café almost every day, feeling much more inspired to write here than in the shoebox you call your apartment at the other end of town. Your landlady doesn’t allow pets, so this place has been a lifeline in the tiring times of deadlines and rejected book deals. At the end of the day there was always a cat rubbing against your legs, reminding you that not everything was bad and that no matter how severe things got, there was always a kitty waiting to be picked up.
You hold this place very dear to your heart, a secret gem you felt a need to protect. It is hidden away in a side street, far from the hectic buzz of the city. The interior is cozy, it isn’t too big and the owner, an elderly lady with candy cotton hair and knuckle tattoos, lives upstairs and treats the place like her second living room with all six of her cats. There’s never too many other guests around and in the corner seat by the window you can unravel your thoughts quietly. It feels homey, something you haven’t felt in a long time.
But now there is an intruder in a business suit and you didn’t really know how to deal with that new found irritation.
“That’s my spot.”
Balancing your laptop, notebook, a slice of carrot cake and a hot drink in one hand, all manners aside, you point at the stranger with your other. In your right mind you know it is rude to point at people, but to be fair he kinda started it by sitting where you rightfully belong. His eyes, a certain gleam in them, follow your movement down to the cat curled up on top of his thighs. With the amount of cat hair sticking to his suit pants you could only pray for him that he had a lint roller somewhere at his desk.
He cocks his head to the side, giving you a boyish smirk that maybe would make your heart skip a beat if it wasn’t for his audacity.
“Usually I ask someone’s name first and take them on a few dates before I let them sit in my lap, but I guess I can make an exception,” he replies and you never in your life before wanted to strangle someone so badly. If that wasn’t already worse enough, the tuxedo cat lifts its small head and slowly blinks at you before jumping down from his lap, as if it was trying to make space for you. My bad, didn’t know this seat was taken. Here, girl, you have it.
For once in your life you’re too stunned to speak. You watch the stranger check his watch and let out an almost inaudible sigh before he grabs his backpack (one that looks like he has had it since high school) and stands up to full height. He’s in your space now and you have to crank your neck slightly to meet his eyes. Mentally you’re adding stupidly tall to your list of things you hate about him.
“Gotta get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
True to his words he is there the next day, too. This time around you managed to secure your spot by the window, three cats idly sleeping next to you on. You’ve been stuck on a paragraph for almost an hour now when the doorbell chimes and his figure appears at the counter. The cats look up with interest but you force yourself not to pay any attention to him, which is hard when his order is literally “I’ll have whatever she is having”, followed by a nod in your direction and this cheeky smile again.
This damn smile.
“You didn’t strike me as a dirty chai drinker,” you deadpan when he takes a seat at the table next to yours. The café is almost empty around this time of the day, which is no surprise since most of the workers in this district are having a hearty meal for lunch and not whatever sweet delicacies this place is offering.
He peels himself out of his suit jacket and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. The same cat as yesterday jumps into his lap immediately after he sits down, giving you a look of “if you don’t want him, I’ll take him” and you almost roll your eyes. Kuroo (you learn his name from the ID he is wearing around his neck) seems to notice and he grins at you.
“Then what did I strike you as?” he asks, his chin resting in one hand while his other finds the soft fur of the kitty, stroking it gently.
You look him up and down, now taking your time while stretching out the silence between you two. Only the purring of the cats and the soft music in the background could be heard. At first glance he seems like your typical office worker in the three piece suit who spends his time filling out spreadsheets and drinking cheap vending-machine coffee from the conbini next door. Everything a little rumpled, himself included, someone so used to tristesse he doesn’t even notice it anymore.
Only at second glance do you notice the small wrinkles around his eyes, not from age but from laughter. The dimples when he smiles down at the tuxedo cat in his lap, now showing off its belly. His calloused hands, atypical for an office worker, more like you’d see them at craftsmen or athletes. Something in his eyes that radiates warmth and an air of calm confidence. None of it is unpleasant.
“If I had to guess, maybe three espresso with a pump of caramel and honey,” you say, more to yourself than to him. Kuroo looks at you in surprise before barking out a laugh. You hate how you like the sound of it.
It’s the beginning of spring and you award Kuroo Tetsuro the title of the greatest nuisance you’ve ever met.
In the midst of summer, you pity him.
“I’m just saying that maybe you radiate a natural fragrance of catnip,” you say as you stir your iced oat milk latte. Kuroo got you that one when he popped in during his lunch break and saw that your glass must have been empty for a while. By that time you were hunched over your laptop, trying to decipher your notes from last night. You had saved him a seat at your table, but if he asked you, you’d say you just happened to put all your belongings on one chair and nothing more.
The man is swarmed by the cats of the café. They didn’t even bother to hide who their favorite is, rubbing around his legs, sitting pressed to his side or just straight up climbing his shoulders. It would’ve been enviable if he wasn’t already sweating from wearing a suit in the humid heat of the summer month alone.
“Can you get at least one or two off me?” he asks and his tone is close to pleading. It makes you laugh as you stretch out in your light sundress, giving him a look as if you’re contemplating his question.
“I could, but it’s really much funnier seeing you struggle like that. Serves you well,” you chime and pull out your phone, snapping a photo of this moment. You hold it up for him to see, a kitty phone charm dangling from it (they just happened to come in a pack of two and you gifted him one out of generosity, nothing more). He snatches it from your hands and makes a face.
“So you like seeing me suffer, is that how it is?” he snarls at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. His slender fingers fly over the screen of your phone and you let out a small gasp.
“Don’t you dare delete it,” you huff and grab the orange tabby mercifully off his shoulders so you can lean over him better.
“Relax. I’m only saving my contact info since you never bothered asking me for it despite being my constant for the past three months.”
There was this cheeky smile again. You blame the flutter of your heart on the caffeine and not the way his pupils are dilating when he gazes at you.
He loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt slightly, just enough to reveal a sliver of skin. Suddenly you’re very aware of how close you’re leaning over at him. Kuroo gives you a little glance from the corner of his eyes and taps the now revealed side of his neck.
“What do you say? Do I really smell like catnip?”
Shameless, you think. Unsure if you mean him or yourself when you narrow the distance between you two. You can feel the heat radiating off him and for a brief moment you wonder what it would feel like to press open mouth kisses on his skin. Your eyes flutter shut as you engrave this moment into your heart.
“Definitely irresistible,” you murmur once you pull back–reluctantly, as if a hidden part of you ached to be in his proximity, in the inside of his soul.
By autumn you miss him on the days when he was gone.
He traveled quite a lot. You didn’t know one would need to be on the road so much for something as simple as volleyball (you can imagine the look he’d give you over this). But he was passionate about it and that’s also something you liked about him. The way he talks about the sport holds so much love and you wonder what it would feel like to be loved by a man like Kuroo Tetsuro.
Gentle, you think. Honest. Treasured.
A tap against the window pulls you out of your thoughts and when you look up, you're met with a pair of honey glazed eyes. Whatever he sees when he looks at you, it’s making him grin from ear to ear before he hurries towards the entry door, eager to meet you again.
Kuroo is holding up a bag, some brand of sweets from Hokkaido he’s been texting you about, but you didn’t think he’d actually go so far and bring you some. He sounds breathless when he speaks, as if he rushed all the way to get here and when he keeps on rambling, you order him and yourself a hot matcha boba and a chocolate mousse to share.
The cats are happy to see him back too, and you laugh when you help him take his scarf off before some kitty claws can tangle up in it. It was a precious gift after all, one you knitted for him, under the feeble excuse of “keeping my hands busy helps me come up with ideas for my writing process”. It makes you happy to see him wearing it, and the color makes you feel as if you took the red string of fate connecting you two and turned it into something to help him stay warm.
You think a lot about kissing him now. Sometimes your hands would brush against each other on the table, neither of you pulling away. He spends his lunch breaks with you and comes to pick you up from the café in the evening, walking you to your station. The two of you still bicker at each other, but underneath lies a certain kind of softness, one that feels too fickle to put it into words just yet but also too bright to ignore. The leaves of the trees are falling and so are you.
With winter comes snow and the quiet realization that maybe, just maybe, it’s unadulterated love.
You spend a lot of time huddled together in the corner by the window now. He looks over your shoulder when you type on your laptop, one arm resting idly on the back of your chair, fingertips brushing against your spine sometimes. You don’t think he even notices when he lets them run up and down there. Often you forget which cups on the table belong to who but it doesn’t matter since you order the same things anyway and because this could count as an indirect kiss, right?
On some days he’d just close his eyes and laze next to you, with his head resting on his folded arms on the table and your fingers idly weaving through his hair, before he had to hurry back to work. On others he would tell you excitedly about a special match he was organizing and you can hear the pure joy in his voice. It’s contagious.You get them now, the cats. How drawn they are to him, like chasing sunbeams.
He spells L-O-V-E on your back with his fingertips and something inside of you softens.
Then there’s snow, more snow than you’ve ever seen in your entire life, and Kuroo comes to pick you up early, the tip of his ears bright red and his cold hands seeking yours to warm them up.
“I’m really sorry but I’m closing the shop early today,” the café owner apologizes and puts a box of cinnamon rolls for you on your table. “You two kittens better hurry and get home, too. On the radio they said they’re gonna shut everything down soon.”
It can’t be that bad, you think. But when Kuroo and you stand in front of the closed station, it dawns on you that maybe you’ve underestimated the amount of snow a teeny tiny bit. You huddle a little closer to him for warmth and to shield yourself against the snow as you pull out your phone.
“If there’s no more trains running, I better start looking for a place to stay. With some luck there’s still a few vacant rooms in the hotels nearby…”
Kuroo puts a hand over your screen and gives you a stern look when you open our mouth to protest.
“You can crash at my place for the night. I live close by," he mutters and it doesn’t really leave room to decline his offer. Maybe it’s not really an offer to begin with; more of a silent pleading to stay. Not just for the duration of the snowstorm, but forever maybe.
His place is just like you imagined it would be like. Not overly spacious but it feels like a home in every corner. There’s photos on the wall, back from when he was a kid to his high school and college years, and pinned with a magnet to the fridge is also a polaroid he took of you back in summer. In it you’re laughing about something silly he said and you’re holding up two cats at once, one strap of your sundress almost slipping down your shoulder. You still remember how he fixed it for you because you didn’t have a hand free and how his fingers lingered for longer than necessary.
You hope one day he won’t pull his hand away anymore.
The apartment is certainly not messy but you can see he lives in this place, with some papers scattered across the coffee table and the unmade bed and the slightly concerning stock of buldak noodles in the kitchen shelves (in which you peeked out of curiosity into while he was in the shower). You imagine yourself living here, too. Maybe you’d get a cat on your own and plants for the balcony once this winter was over.
The laundry machine rumbles quietly in the background after you step out of the bathroom, too. It wasn’t just the steamy shower that had your cheeks feel hot, it was also his clothes that he put out for you, with his scent lingering on them and engulfing you softly. Kuroo appears with two cups from the kitchen and pauses when he sees you, his mouth opening and closing again as his eyes flicker over your form. He doesn’t want to stare but also he does want to stare, wants to drink you in and memorize every detail of this moment.
You can see his Adam's apple bop slightly when he swallows and nods over to the couch, and it’s at this moment that you know you’re not leaving this apartment again before every inch of your skin has been plastered in kisses.
“It’s not as good as the one’s at the café but I tried my best for my special guest,” he laughs quietly when he hands you your cup, his fingers brushing against yours. The hot chocolate looks impossibly sweet, with whipped cream and sprinkles on top (they’re not ordinary sprinkles, you realize, but tiny cat shaped ones), and the first sip would’ve been enough to send you in some higher spheres if you weren’t in a state of bliss due to his proximity already. You put the cups to cool down on the coffee table and sink into the couch.
Outside the snow is falling relentlessly, muffling the sounds of the outside world and opening up a new one, right here in these four walls.
In his arms.
Without realizing you both settled down in your now familiar positions, only closer this time. Huddled next to each other, with one of his arms around your shoulder drawing you nearer to him. It feels natural, the way your head comes to rest against his shoulder and your legs thrown over his lap, the two of you sharing a blanket.
He’s warm. Kuroo is so warm.
And when he presses a fleeting kiss on top of your head it’s like everything is falling in place; the months of pining and yearning and unspoken desire. In the midst of a snowstorm both of your hearts are set ablaze, with a tenderness you haven’t experienced in this lifetime before. You sure hope he will find you in the next and the one after that as well because you never want to miss his embrace ever again.
“That’s my spot,” you murmur and Kuroo laughs, the kind with his head tilted back and his chest rumbling. His grip around you tightens and he pulls you impossibly closer, till you’re really in his lap now, your head tucked under his chin.
“Damn right it is.”
You can feel his heart drum, or maybe it’s your own that’s doing somersaults–either way, it’s the same rhythm, a steady thrumming and rattling, begging to be felt. Time seems to freeze at this moment and you’re both quiet. Cat’s got your tongue. Kuroo has both arms around you now, and one of his hands settles on your waist, at the part where your sweatshirt is bunched up a little. His thumb draws small patterns against your bare skin, his touch featherlight and gentle.
You lift your head, only enough so you can catch his gaze. For the first time in your life you understand what it means to have your heart in your throat, because he takes your breath away with a simple glance. His other hand comes to rest against your cheek, cupping your face softly while his grip around your waist tightens a fraction.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he mutters and you can see his sharp teeth flash in the corner of your eyes when he laughs.
“Like what?” “You know what.” “I think I’ll need to have it spelled out for me.”
He laughs again and this time he leans in closer till his breath is fanning over your skin and everything is happening all at once. Honey and caramel eyes asking you to drown in them. The heat of his body mingling with yours. Your fingers playing with the shaved part of hair in the back of his neck, sending small shivers down his spine.
“Oh, I’ll spell it out for you alright.”
Kuroo kisses you with all the gentleness of the world. It feels as natural as if he had done this countless times before, as if he had kissed you in every life prior to that. He hums into the kiss and smiles when your lips part for him so willingly, and then he deepens the kiss in a way that makes you forget your name for a heartbeat or two.
Sweet, you think. Soft and saccharine. And warm. So warm. The same what loving Kuroo feels like.
#hq x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu x reader#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo fluff#hq fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu reader insert#haikyuu imagines
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how likely are the Slytherin boys to be toxic?
Characters: Lorenzo Berkshire, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Mattheo Riddle
Cw: Toxic relationships of course
- ♡ 𝒟𝓇𝒶𝒸𝑜 𝑀𝒶𝓁𝒻𝑜𝓎 ( 6.5/10 )
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Draco is definitely an asshole in the earlier movies and i don’t feel like his attitude would just magically change to drastically. He’s still stuck up.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I feel like he’d be more on the possessive side of abusive. he can be sweet and kind to you, but at the same time he gives you almost no freedom and tries controlling your everyday.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’ll demand to know where you are 24/7 and expects you to tell him everything. He gives death glares to any of your guy friends and so on.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . And don’t get me started on manipulation. he’s the KING of manipulation. he’d make you think that all your worries are just in your head. Or he’d make you think it’s your fault and you’re the problem.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’d act all sweet and make little jokes that you’re to oblivious to pick up on.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I own you, don’t i sweetheart?
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “All i do is try to care for you and you get all stuck up with me. Now is that fair dear? All i am is concerned.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Why is everything always my fault? can’t you understand that there’s the possibility of a war right around the corner?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You get with me knowing who i am, then try to change who i am. You don’t see a problem with that?”
୨୧
- ♡ 𝐿𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓃𝓏𝑜 𝐵𝑒𝓇𝓀𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓇𝑒 ( 9/10 )
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . My baby Lorenzo is definitely bipolar. You’ll have a few months, or days, or weeks, of peace.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ‘The calm before the storm’
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Lorenzo’s the mind fuck type. He’d most likely only ever lay hands on you in bed, in a kinky way. He just love’s to let out random shit that gets you mad.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Also a possessive type. But unlike Draco, he doesn’t care about your self respect. Threaten to break up with him? one of your nudes with just your face blurred out is sent ‘round the school. Or maybe he’ll pay some random guy to pretend to be into you just to fuck with you mentally.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . During arguments it’s insult galore.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Now he’s not always just calm, if he feels you’re gone for good he pulls out the manipulation.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’ll find a way to ruin every aspect of your love life while manipulating you into thinking he’s changed, he’ll show up to your house with flowers and ‘sad’ eyes: “I’m so sorry baby, please, let’s start over. I love you so much and i just don’t know how to express it, i promise i’ll do better. I’d do anything for you love.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You’re such a sweetheart hun,”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Break up with me? hm… didn’t you say that ten different times in the past, but you’re still here?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “If you’re gonna act like a slut i might as well treat you like one.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Really? well i thought you would’ve loved for them to see you half naked with how much you were eating up their attention last night.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Please sweetie, You know i was just mad. Nobody loves you like i do.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “We’re bad for eachother, that’s what make us.. well, us.”
୨୧
- ♡ 𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓈𝑒 𝒵𝒶𝒷𝒾𝓃𝒾 ( 4/10 )
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . My mans mother raised him right.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s such a gentlemen.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He may be a little passive aggressive when upset but overall he knows how to keep his cool. His cold exterior would warm up when it comes to a women, not wanting to make them uncomfortable or feel like a nuisance.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . But just because he respects women doesn’t mean he’s a push over, if you’re a bitch he’ll probably just leave you.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . The most he’ll be ‘toxic’ is just sometimes being a little over jealous and sometimes little insults fall past his lips.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . The best example being when you finally saw one of your long-term friends and you three had dinner (courtesy of Blaise) just for you guys to get in the car after and he’s all moody. He can be a bit of a drama queen at times.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Honestly he’s just so loving most of the time <3
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You ok?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Well if you like him so much maybe you should go home with him instead?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’m not mad just… disappointed.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Perhaps we should both just leave each other alone for awhile and calm down.”
୨୧
- ♡ 𝒯𝑜𝓂 𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 ( 10/10 )
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Is anyone surprised? It’s Tom Riddle we’re talking about.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He likes a woman that’ll have an attitude with others, but you better get rid of that attitude when talking to him.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s a silent guy, so it’s easy to take advantage of that and flirt with other guys etc. But there’ll be hell to pay after.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’s not the type to beg for you to stay with him if you want to break up, because he simply won’t let you go. if he has to tie you down to the bed he will.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He doesn’t care much for your comfort. He’s willing to use you for his plans if he feels it’ll be beneficial. If a guys acting like a creep he still expects you to keep up your act.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Depending on your house, he won’t bother to hide his disgust in himself that he fell for you (especially if you’re a hufflepuff). He won’t even be ashamed about hiding your relationship while the two of you are still at Hogwarts.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He fucks with you by how neutral he always seems. He can say that most hurtful shit to you but have little emotion, as if he was just stating a casual everyday fact.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You can and Will take it.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “But i didn’t ask you if you wanted to, did i? now go.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “You should be glad i’ve kept you alive. If it weren’t for the fact you’re useful, You would be long dead, ‘hufflepuff’.” (because we all know Mr. Tom Riddle doesn’t admit to loving someone)
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Seems you’ve gotten a little carried away,” *Definitely grabbing you by your face aggressively.* “You can talk to others that way but don’t think you can speak to me, your superior, that way. Be grateful for once.”
୨୧
- ♡ 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝑜𝒹𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝓉 ( 5.5/10 )
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Theo doesn’t necessarily seem like the intentionally toxic type, but he’s like one of those guys that are too ‘nonchalant’.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I feel like he’d unintentionally come off as bored or cold when you two would be doing something or you try talking to him. Or when you’re trying to get on his nerves but he has almost no reaction.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He’d unintentionally make you doubt your two’s relationship even if he’s happy with it. Which, from personal experience, fucking sucks.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . But if you tried talking to him i feel it may depend on his mood, but overall i think he’d take what you said to heart. However still struggle to really change.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . At the end of the day it’s on your preference and if you can deal with a relationship like that or not.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Hah ha very funny,”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’m going out with Blaise, maybe later?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Yeah it’s cool.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “C’mon sweetheart, you know it’s not like that.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I’ll work on it, promise.”
୨୧
- ♡ 𝑀𝒶𝓉𝓉𝒽𝑒𝑜 𝑅𝒾𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒 ( 5/10 )
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Mattheo isn’t the type to really be toxic when in a relationship. He’s the type of guy that wouldn’t get in a relationship with someone he doesn’t like. If he just thinks they’re hot he’d hook up with them, no need to get in some committed relationship.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Although he is cocky, and his cocky attitude tends to strain some of his relationships. Though it’s all in light fun, not everyone can deal with it.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . He also has a bad habit of not working on his negative traits. Which would also strain your relationship. When you mention any of his negative traits(But can this man have any?) he’d get defensive instead of trying to understand where you’re coming from.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . So like Theo, i feel like it’d depend on your personality and what bothers you. Overall he’d be a pretty lovey boyfriend.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “I would be happy too. Dating *The* Mattheo riddle,”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “C’mon you know you love me,”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . *In some goofy mocking tone* “Why so serious?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “Seriously? you’re being overdramatic and you know it.”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . “That’s whats got your panties in such a twist? seriously?”
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Written by ankoluvly, 2024 on tumblr!
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . Just wanted to write and post something quickly because i feel shitty not posting anything.
₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . I wrote this before bed then lazily proof-read it in the morning, so sorry about spelling mistakes.
#harry potter#tumblr fyp#fypシ#harry potter blog#harry potter blurb#harry potter imagine#harry potter x you#౨ৎblurb#enzobby ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི#lorenzo berkshire x you#theodore nott x reader#draco malfoy x you#mattheo x you#tom riddle x reader#blaise zabini x reader#lorenzo berkshire#enzo berkshire#mattheo riddle#theodore nott#draco malfoy#blaise zabini#harry potter fanfiction#slytherin boys#theodore nott fanfiction#tom riddle x you#mattheo riddle imagine#draco malfoy blurb
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I have been trying to find the article or opinion piece or whatever I read that discussed this, but this appears to be a significant issue with all left-leaning governments. If you'll forgive the gendered language:
Political analysts have long considered these three fields – managing the finances, managing the economy, and defence – to represent the “daddy” aspects of national political persona, traditionally dominated by centre-right parties the world over. The centre-left parties have been seen to excel in the more “caring” fields of health and education: the “mummy” aspect.
(from here, an opinion piece in the Sydney Morning Herald, which I don't think was exactly the thing I was looking for, but it's the same idea more or less)
People in the tags have noted this occurs with the Tories/Labour in the UK, and it definitely occurs in Australia with the Liberals/Labor (the Liberals are conservatives by the way, it's confusing, we know).
The problem is that people often don't 'feel' the effects of economic improvement, or they fixate on things that are still bad and think when the government is talking about improvements they're lying or think the improvements are happening to other people, probably 'coastal elites' or what we in Australia might call 'inner city latte sippers'.
Then the right can capitalise on this resentment, and even if they don't achieve their claims of making life better, people have such short memories they don't realise things have worsened. Another issue is the fact left-wing policies tend to involved bigger government involvement or significant changes to the status quo, and the right can then run scare campaigns which the left can't combat because having nuanced debates over complicated policies doesn't make snappy headlines. And you also get, as @what-even-is-this said above, the left inheriting failing economies and the right inheriting improving economies. So things often get blurred about who was responsible for what benefit, and if things are good under one government, the other will claim it was because of their actions before it etc etc.
Celinda Lake (Biden's pollster in 2020) was interviewed on the Australian TV show Planet America this week and said something very similar (it starts at 28:23), that the Democrats need a better economic message, a better 'conversation' with the voters the Democrats traditionally worked to support but who now believe the Republicans will help them more.
It is quite sad to admit, but it seems people often care more about their economic wellbeing than any other consideration. Part of it is a sort of survivalism though, where they go, yes, I would like to help xyz, but I'm struggling too.
From my position, well at a distance, I got the vibe this election was just people annoyed at the current administration and going to literally the only viable alternative, as opposed to a population shifting dramatically in their political views. I expect a lot of people don't like the guy who'll be president and don't really even want him to be president, but still voted for him because of his party. It's an electorate who has long been made to believe left bad at economy, right good at economy. Plus you guys don't have a third parties that presents itself as a viable alternative.
Elections are often decided by the political issues that the right is seen to be better at, but a lot of it is just bluff and posturing. The right can talk tough and it makes people think they're getting things done. It's not until it all unravels that people will consider the left. I've got a long discussion about Aus politics below if you want to read about it, which provides some more concrete examples of these things.
Also there are obviously other issues at play, the electorate isn't one monolith, people have individual reasons for voting etc etc etc. This is just one thing that I think was a big factor generally. Harris seemed to be too much a part of an administration they were unhappy with and people weren't convinced she would bring anything new to fix things.
Australia has two major parties, the left-wing Australian Labor Party (yes, Australian English spells it labour, but the party is US-style, it's a long story) and the right-wing Liberal Party (they are conservatives but they're called Liberals. The reason is they believe in libertarian sort of values like the free market and small government). The Liberals govern in coalition with the National Party (ostensibly the party of the farmers and rural Australians, they're more right wing than the Liberals), and so we often call them the Coalition.
(Also, Labor is red and the Liberals are blue, so our colours are opposite of US but the same as the UK. This isn't important right now but I enjoy reminding americans that their colour-coding of politics is actually not the norm)
After 11 years of Coalition government under John Howard, we elected Kevin Rudd and the Labor Party in 2007. Then the GFC happened. Labor got us through very well, relatively speaking. But K-Rudd was losing popularity so members of the Labor party decided to vote for a new leader (this wasn't an election: for any Americans out there, the prime ministership isn't an elected position, it's just the leader of the party in power and they can choose that amongst themselves). And so we got Julia Gillard, our first female PM. She narrowly won the next election, and suffered through a number of things that lowered her standing in the polls (including misogyny, but also a few broken election promises the opposition pounced on) and so before the next election they backstabbed her and reinstated Kevin, hoping the change would improve their odds. It didn't work: Labor lost to (shudder) Tony Abbott and the Coalition. I really dislike Abbott. Raw-onion-with-the-skin-on-eating Abbott. 'Suppository of all wisdom' Abbott. 'Shit happens' Abbott. Wanting-to-knight Prince-Phillip Abbott. I mean, these are just his gaffes. The less said of his politics and personality the better.
The Liberals governed for a simultaneously stagnant and tumultuous nine years. Nine years with three prime ministers being overthrown by their own party and never actually getting all that much done. Abbott, rapidly losing favourability, was replaced with Malcolm Turnbull, an erudite, moderate Liberal who was under constant attack from his government's right wing and got murdered by them at the slightest whiff of a policy that might have the vaguest of emission reduction targets (these years are known as the climate wars and they're still not really over). Turnbull gave way to Scott Morrison. Scomo went to the election with really only one major economic policy which was some tax cuts. He won. Then the pandemic happened and yeah. We went massively into debt due to the huge spending required to keep everyone afloat. I am glad the Libs did that, but it points out their hypocrisy since they had banged on and on about Labor's 'debts and deficits' (I think particularly to do with spending during the GFC) and yet had not given a single budget surplus (i.e. they had been spending more than they gained in taxes etc) in that entire 9 years. And then, when it's their turn to spend big to save the economy, they're happy to ignore debts.
Labor was led during this time by Bill Shorten, a good guy but no one really liked him, nor his 'zingers', and his policies involved a lot of reforms and changes, leaving him open to scare campaigns from the right. Labor eventually decided to shed Bill and put in Anthony Albanese. Albo ran a very small target campaign to try to neutralise the differences between him and Scomo. It was... moderately successful. Labor got into government but really, it was the Liberals who lost because we all just disliked Scotty from Marketing (he mishandled the pandemic on a number of fronts, among other crises including, but not limited to, going to Hawaii during the 2019-20 bushfires and sexual misconduct allegations involving members of his party). The 2022 federal election is a story of its own though. The point is, Labor got into power.
They have given us our first budget surplus in 15 years. A budget surplus had been hyped up by successive Liberal governments who consistently failed to deliver one. Sure, Labor is still dealing with a housing crisis, but prices had been rising under the Coalition who just twiddled their thumbs and eventually suggested the policy of allowing people spend their superannuation (it's a bit like the US 401(k): here it's compulsory for money to go into a fund which you can't access until retirement) on a house (they're still suggesting this last I heard). And inflation has been high, but it seems to be going down, and the inflation was the result of (guess what) high levels of government spending during the pandemic (combined with supply issues caused by wars and the pandemic). Labor has done a decent job of bringing the economy back on track. They've been fiscally responsible. They even rejigged Scott's tax cuts to make them better for lower-income earners. Labor is clearly on par, if not better, at handling the economy and have shown this twice in my lifetime.
But do they get any credit for this? As if!
Labor has been absolute rubbish at explaining how they're helping people. Rubbish! It's why the Voice to Parliament referendum failed, because no one explained it clearly and succinctly. I don't think it failed because people were really racist, I think they just didn't get the point of it. I mean, some of it was underlying racism and a sense of 'why do they deserve this? don't they have enough?' but that stems again from a communication issue since people don't understand how big the gap still is. (for confused non-Australians, I'm talking about the referendum to enshrine in the constitution an advisory group of Indigenous Australians who would give advice to the government about matters pertaining to First Nations issues. The referendum failed abysmally)
Labor is currently heading towards a minority government (they will be the biggest party, but won't have a proper majority in parliament and will need to deal with a crossbench of minor parties and independents). They're expected to win partly because the Liberals are becoming increasingly right-wing (they lost a lot of their moderates at the last election to independents) and the current leader of the Libs looks like Mr Potato Head and has all the warmth of Darth Vader, so they might not win the centre very easily (we have compulsory voting, so you need to be at least relatively moderate to win big). But Labor will struggle (and could still lose) because Albanese is just terrible at getting any cut-through. It's pitiful. Personally, I'd kinda like Penny Wong as PM but she'd need to resign as a senator and be elected to the house of reps, so it's highly unlikely (plus I do like her in the Foreign Affairs portfolio). I think Jim Chalmers, our current treasurer, would be a good fit. He's got twice the charm of Albo and ten times that of Peter Dutton (Darth Potatohead, the current leader of the Liberals). He's also an effective communicator and can take a lot of credit for the economy since he's the guy making the budgets. I don't necessarily think he's an amazing treasurer (he's no Paul Keating), but he's done a good job. The thing is, Labor is highly unlikely to have another leadership spill for fear of appearing unstable (they made it much harder to have a spill after the Rudd-Gillard-Rudd debacle).
And sadly, Dutton has quite a bite, and loves to rip into Labor right where it hurts: the economy and immigration.
Don't get me started on immigration... I totally skipped over it but it's been a big issue here just like in the US.
Also I am not the biggest fan of Labor after they started to shift rightwards (the whole 'neutralise issues' thing). They're a bit like the Democrats in that sense, but the situation is a little different.
It seems like there’s this cycle of republicans making the economy bad and then people get tired of the republicans and elect a democrat and the democrat inherits a bad economy and then they sort of fix it somewhat and then people are like hey the economy is bad it was better during the Republican administration and then they elect a Republican who inherits a better economy from the democrat while he’s trashing it and then people are like hey he’s trashing the economy and then they elect a democrat who inherits a bad economy and fixes it somewhat and then people are like hey the economy was better when there was a Republican and then they elect a Republican who trashes the sort of better economy he inherited from the democrat and so on and so forth like forever I guess
#I don't typically talk politics because this is a blog for stuff I like and find fun#but actually I really enjoy talking about Australian politics and so I'm posting this#I don't want to be drawn too deeply into debates on politics of foreign countries because I don't live there#but (recent) Australian political history I'm pretty well-versed in#But I'll refrain from talking too much about it#just because this isn't that sort of blog#us election#australian politics
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~{ So I was listening to “They’re only human” Death note the musical and this come out of the brain so here you gremlins go! }~
🌌🌙The Solar🌙🌌
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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
If someone asked danny what he thought his life in the future would look like he would have said something like “Of course I will be an astronaut!” Or something to that effect
But what he did not expect was for him to have a protective and strong ass husband [Who is phantom and now the Ghost king and isn’t that something] with a little toddler who is 2 ( Dani who will be called dawn in this ) and a little protective toddler who is 4 (Dan who is called dusk) who he loves more than anything
And gain a ghost family who adores him (but for the price of another) who put up with his husband and adore him as well as spoil his Sun and Moon rotten
Now let’s see how this become as it has shall we?
====================================
Danny was having a bad day, first he almost miss class again [due to a mix of being to exhausted to get up on his on from fighting ghosts all night and with jazz being busy with college hunting so she couldn’t wake him up and his parents don’t even know what time he wakes up at for school]
Second Dash wouldn’t leave him alone and it was becoming hard to keep himself..well not really himself but recently he’s been feeling this that for a better word are not his to feel like when a ghost hit a bit to hard to feels rage and protectiveness wash over him anyway back to this.
Third Sam and Tucker were both out for separate reasons for Sam her parents had some kind of rich people thing to do and dragged her with them and tucker with his family were going to visit some relatives so yeah Danny had no one to hang out with.
Third apparently they had a test in English that nobody told Danny about so he knows he is going to fail that and some other things but it would get to long if we bought all that up but you get the point
So when Danny gets back home and all he wants to do is go to his room change into phantom and hug/chill himself out who is anyone to deny him [Like with the feeling feels that weren’t his, yeah he got the habit after a very bad day where his parents shot him in the back of the leg and it hurt bad so he hugged himself and apparently it was the right thing to do because he started to feel better! Not physically no it still hurt like a motherfucker but emotionally yes so he started to do that when ever he felt he needed comfort]
So Danny goes to his bedroom [not noticing the tall orange figure following him up] and closes the door [it was left ajar just enough for someone to look in] and changes into phantom but he hears the door open the door and he turns to see his dad looking at him
And the next thing he knows is a red hot pain coming from his side and blacks out
=====================================
It has been a week a long and painful week since his parents found out
After Jack [NEVER dad never again] he brought him down to the lab and tied him to a table and did…unspeakable things to him…have been doing this to him for a week
After two days Danny heard two more wails and he recognized the voices it was dan and Dani! [his children] and they were hurting them, Danny tired to get their attention to him to get them away from them but the damage was done and Dani and Dan went into their cores due to the damage but thank the ancients the cores were basically a undamageable and none of their weapons work on them
So that turns all their attention on him and how that would be their downfall [and the whole dimensions with them]
On day five is when Danny’s human “half” gives out due to no food or water and with the torture Maddie and Jack have inflicted on him it wasn’t really a surprise but what was when phantom and Danny unfazed and phantom was pissed they hurt Danny [his husband] they hurt Dani and Dan [his children] they weren’t getting of easy
So well they were fighting the now fully ghost Danny gets out from his restraints and grabs Dani and dans cores and pushes them inside him to heal them by essentially force feeding their cores clean ecto
Than phantom grabs him and pulls him fast to the portal and the go through and as they do they destroy the portal [not knowing that in doing that they let out all the built-up ecto and that essentially bombs the dimension taking everything with it]
And now that brings Danny here after healing and when the children cores got enough ecto that they could come out [as well as speed running a very loving relationship that is still going very strong]
And now Danny is very happy with his life now or well after-life
=====================================
~{ Now onto the DCU part! }~
When Damian got into a fight with father he expected to be benched as Robin for a few days or a week what he was not expecting was for father to assigned him to go and watch a warehouse that is known for not having been used for anything for longer than Damien himself has been alive [it’s due to a cult that hangs around there not that the bats know that]
So now here is Damien tide up in surprisingly good rope that he can not break free from in the middle of a summoning circle and waiting for the other to get here while the cultist surrounds the circle and start to speak in a language Damian does not understand and Damian doesn’t believe anything will happen
Until the summoning circle turns into a portal and Damian falls through as the others get there to help him
The last thing Damien remembers before he passes out is someone yelling after a while Damian wakes up in a bed…? A very soft large bed with a lot of space and as Damien takes in his surroundings he hears a door opening and as he turns his head to look he sees a tall man…? Woman? Person let’s go with that
They walk over to him and start cooing? At him and  fretting over him [✨Mom instincts✨] and stuff a few days? [time is weird Damian has found] and the person has started to bring him with them as they walk around [Danny wants the little child to get some air and cleaner Ecto] and he has met the person’s children who are named dusk and dawn respectively and they have taken him as their older brother he believes this is due to the person [who he now knows his name is Solar, it’s not just everyone calls him that due to his space obsession] calls him his Stars much like how he calls this children his Sun and Moon
And with meeting Solar with Dawn and Dusk it is a guarantee that Damien was to meet Solar infamous husband Phantom [who he has heard about from the whispers of some of the working staff] and it goes pretty well [not that Phantom can do shit to this child his husband has already taken him in as his own] so he lets the child stay for how long as he likes
Meanwhile with the Batfam
The Batfam are freaking TF out about where Damian is and is he safe OMG-
=====================================
~{ And that’s all I can really do with the DCU part I am very tired if you can’t tell and now onto the details! }~
Now for Danny outfit I’m thinking something like this
With this over coat
And for hair/hair ornaments
And for phantom you know the drill blue-greenish skin, white hair and pointy ears
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
~{ And that is about it! Sorry if the last part is weird I am very tired and sleepy anyway I hope you guys like this and see you gremlins later byeeee }~
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dc x dp crossover#danny phantom#dc x dp prompt#that weird thing in the woods#that-weird-thing-in-the-woods#dc x dp fic#dc x dp fanfiction#dpxdc#dp x dc au#dc x dp au#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#dcxdp#danny au#phantom x danny#pitch pearl#dp x dc misunderstandings#dc x dp misunderstandings#de aged dani#de aged dan#Danny will call Dawn his Sun and Dusk his moon#and while Damian is with him Danny calls him his Stars#the batfam is concerned#mom danny#momma Danny#Dawn and dusk are gremlins but no one is going to mess with the ghost kings kids#and his wife scares them#redeemed Dan
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just a girl
benny week, day four: cheerleader
relationship: betty weir | benny weir/rory keaner, betty weir | benny weir & ethan morgan
rating: teen
word count: 939
summary: Dressing up as a cheerleader and being flirted with by Rory awakens some things in Benny. (transfem benny weir)
read on ao3 or below the cut
Benny wasn't sure what Jane had done to them, but he liked it. He almost felt bad though, because he could tell it was making Ethan somewhat dysphoric. However, Benny actually felt really good. He liked the feeling of the longer hair, and the makeup felt foreign but right somehow. He felt pretty. He must've been pretty too, considering the way Rory bounded up to him and started flirting with him. Benny wasn't gay- he knew he wasn't gay. So why did the way Rory looked at him give him butterflies? He needed to talk to Ethan- tomorrow though. It had been a long day.
It wasn't until they cracked the case that Benny was able to find time to talk to Ethan. By then he had realized he was in a lot deeper than he first anticipated. The additional days of flirting and makeup had really done him in. It also affirmed his feelings about everything that was swirling through his head. Him and Ethan were playing video games in his room when he finally worked up the courage to bring everything up to his best friend.
“Hey Ethan, can I talk to you about something?” Ethan paused the game, and turned his attention to Benny.
“Yeah, B, what's up?”
“You know how we had to pretend to be Betty and Veronica?”
“Yeah…?”
“I sort of… liked it? Like the whole dressing up.”
“Okay, just the dressing up part?”
“I’m not even sure, honestly.”
“That's fine! Do you think maybe you'd want to try out she/her pronouns?”
“Maybe?”
“You don't have to rush into anything! Does being called he/him make you dysphoric?”
“No, I don't think so?”
“That's fine! Is there anything else?”
“I didn't hate when Rory was flirting with me?”
“Wait- what?” Benny just shrugged in response, “ so, not only are you maybe a girl, but you might also be into Rory?”
“Basically,”
“Wow I never thought I'd see the day a girl was into Rory,” that made Benny laugh. It also made his- her heart flutter. Ethan called her a girl, and it felt amazing. They continued their night like usual after that, and that also felt good. It felt normal and right. Someone knew, and the world spun like usual.
Now she just had to figure out how to tell the others. Especially Rory. She wrote him that letter to hopefully stop him from talking about Betty anymore until she figured out what she wanted to do. It was cheesy, but wasn't exactly that far from the truth either. It took her a few more days, but she worked up the courage to leave another note in the vampires locker, this time just telling him to meet her in the gym hallway after school, so they could talk
Betty was sweating bullets as she paced the hallway back and forth. Her mind was swirling with thoughts. What if Rory is upset at her for lying? What if he won't see her as a girl? Will he even want to be her friend? Just when she was starting to think this was a bad idea, she heard the all too familiar voice.
“Benny? What are you doing here? I'm waiting for Betty, so I hope you don't plan on sticking around too long,” She cringed internally at that. She knew she had to get out what she wanted to say before she lost her courage.
“Rory, I'm Betty.” Rory's face morphed into confusion.
“Um no you're not? Betty is blonde. And a girl, duh,”
“No Ror, me and Ethan dressed up as Betty and Veronica to keep an eye on Erica, then to deal with the whole witch cheerleader stuff,”
“I'm so confused. So Betty isn't real?” His voice sounded so vulnerable, and Betty’s heart broke in guilt. She took one step closer to Rory, small and barely noticeable.
“Yes, and no? She wasn't at first. But I think Betty feels more real than Benny at this point. I don't know,” Rory's face was still one of confusion, and a faint glimpse of hurt, “but, I do know that I like you.”
“Wait- what?” Rory's face was still one of disbelief, but the hurt was replaced by hope.
“I didn't know how to tell you, but surprise?”
“You're Betty, but actually- and you like me?”
“Yeah?”
“This is awesome!” Betty felt physically relieved. Rory wasn't upset. She should've known he wouldn't be shitty about this, especially because he knows about Ethan. But it was good to be sure that she was worried for no reason.
“It is?” Rory just looked at her like she was crazy.
“Uh yeah? I mean it's still a little weird that you're actually Betty, but not in a bad way! Wait, does this mean I can take you out on a date?” Betty shouldn't have been surprised by his bluntness, but it made her flustered regardless
“Yeah, it does,” she smiled at him. He returned the soft look.
“We can have dinner at my place, so you can dress however you want without others around, if that's what you'd prefer,” he looked uncharacteristically shy. Betty took his hand. She was sure vampires couldn't blush, but she wasn't sure if something like that has ever stopped him.
“That sounds perfect, Ror.”
#mbav#my babysitters a vampire#benny weir#rory keaner#ethan morgan#my babysitter's a vampire#hivesys speaks#mbav fanfic#bettory#bennory#bennyweek#bennyweek2024#bettory fanfic#bennory fanfic#mbav moodboard#moodboard#betty weir#betty weir edit#betty weir moodboard
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It Always Leads To You
( bllk boys as situationships )
a/n — girl whose never had a situationship writing about them? what could go wrong? (they progressively get longer lol)
content — some nsfw but not explicit, pining, GN! reader, some characters repeated, all characters are 18 or 18+
synopsis — what kind of situationship the bllk boys would be
⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ ' and the heart i'm breaking is my own ' ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ the... ' but you're best friends! '
you'd rather spend money on a hotel than stay at home 24/7 for the next week. how could you walk into your house when you knew he'd be there, chatting with you family as if nothing had changed?
maybe you should've pretended you had to work.
that would have saved you the grief of having to see, who was supposed to be, your best friend. how could you face him when the last thing you two talked about was being a couple and that...not going as planned.
well, maybe that wasn't the last thing you two talked about with each other. however, does defiling your families bathroom really count as 'talking'? ( most awkward easter ever afterwards ) you didn't really think so.
whatever, he was a pro-soccer player now, he may not even be at home this christmas. you'd just have to put up with his family, who you'd always loved, and then you could go home and avoid the situation until the next big holiday.
but of course, when you stepped into your childhood home you realized that you'd never get that lucky. there he was, just as handsome as ever, sitting on your families couch.
in your eyes, he looked like he belonged with your family more than you, but you supposed he earned that. he came home every holiday, unlike you who continuously came up with different reasons to stay as far away as possible.
if you left now, maybe no one would know you'd even shown up-
" woah, y/n! it's you! " or...maybe not. " i haven't seen you in forever, what have you been up to? " the voice that plagued your every waking thought crashed its way into your ears.
your best friend ( could you even call him that anymore? were you still his best friend? ) got up from his spot on the couch to come wrap his arms around you in a hug that felt more like home than home did.
" i've missed you, ya know? " he whispered in your ear, hands caressing your back in what felt like much more than what a 'friends' hug would be.
just a week. you could survive and coexist with him for a week. your resolve to never sleep with him set in stone now.
you just wished your resolve wouldn't have crumbled only two days later while your family was downstairs watching christmas movies.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ REO MIKAGE, isagi yoichi, AIKU OLIVER, rensuke kunigami, TOBITO KARASU
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ the ' you cannot date them '
you’re a good person... or at least, you want to believe that. But how can you when your best friend sits in front of you now, talking about their ex?
she’s raving about how much she misses him, how everything fell apart at the worst time, how she’s still holding onto the hope that maybe they can fix things.
you try to smile and nod, pretending that you’re not dying inside. how can you even look her in the eye when he’s blowing up your phone right now? when you know exactly how he feels about you?
“it’s just so messed up, right?” she laughs nervously, like this is all just a bad breakup, nothing that can’t be smoothed over. “i’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do anymore.”
she doesn’t know that you already did something. You already did the one thing that could ruin everything. the one thing that she told you you could never do.
your phone continuously buzzing while she's talking, hoping she wouldn't notice you reach for it to silence it while she takes a sip of her drink.
your phone vibrates again, and you try not to look at it. you’re not sure if you’re worried that she’ll see, or that you’ll see what he’s saying. you’re scared of both.
him <3 ; are we still on for tonight? can’t wait to see you.
that familiar ache forms in your chest, and you can feel the betrayal to your friend, the confusion about your own feelings, but worse—there’s nothing you can do about it. you keep smiling, even though it feels like your heart’s sinking with every word your friend says.
" god, if you don't want to listen to me, just say so. " your friend says coldly. " i would have turned off my phone if it was you crying right now. "
" sorry, it's just my mom...talking about some new present she wants to get my brother. " you apologized. "oh, okay. is your brother a cutie?" you didn't even have a brother, showed how much she knew about you.
“whatever, what should i do?" your friend asks, her eyes bright with hope (or maybe delusion). "do you think I should text him? do you think we could still fix things?”
you want so badly to tell her the truth.
you want to be honest, to say what she needs to hear so that she doesn’t get her hopes up.
you want to tell her that he is already texting you, that maybe you are the reason he won’t talk to her.
but instead, you bite your lip and offer a shrug. "i don't know, honestly. maybe he needs time to figure out what he wants too."
"he doesn't need time. he needs me." she mused, staring at you like your answer was just the stupidest thing she'd heard all day. "no wonder you've never dated anyone, who'd like a ditz like you?"
The whole time, your phone is buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, like a constant reminder of your lie.
you; see you tonight :)
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ OTOYA EITA, ikki niko, RANZE KURONA, reo mikage, RYUSEI SHIDO
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧the... ' you'll never be first '
he's leaving soon, and you feel like you're dying.
you’d known for a long time that ‘casually’ seeing a pro soccer player would only lead to being left alone, especially someone like him—someone whose work always came first, and whose heart was as unreachable as the trophies he collected.
he’d said it more times than you could count: “love doesn’t come before soccer. It never will.” and you’d laughed, maybe even agreed at some point, understanding it was just the way things were.
so why does it feel like you’re drowning now, with him leaving just around the corner.
it doesn’t make sense. you’d known the deal from the start.
still, here you are—sitting in his bed, in the quiet of his room, the familiar hum of the city outside reminding you of how little time you really have left with him.
his suitcase is by the door, already half-packed, his jersey draped over the chair where he’d left it, as if he couldn't get out of here fast enough.
you’re almost sick to your stomach at the thought of him walking out that door in just a few days, never looking back.
you’ve spent enough time with him to know that when he leaves, he doesn’t look back. he doesn't look back at stadiums once he walks out, and he wouldn't look back at you either.
"it’s only a few months," he’d said, trying to make you feel better when the topic of him leaving first got brought up. “i’ll be back before you know it.”
but that’s not the point.
it’s never been the point.
you know he’ll be busy with games, traveling, sponsors,...women, all the things that make him too far to reach.
and yet, here you are, sitting in his bed, heart pounding, overwhelmed with the thought of it all ending. you thought you could handle this.
you thought you could be just another notch in his belt. but the truth is, you’ve been fooling yourself. you care too much. you’ve fallen for him, hard, and the worst part is—he doesn’t even realize it.
or maybe he does. maybe he’s known all along, and you were too scared to admit it.
the sound of his voice pulls you from your thoughts.
"hey, you okay?"
you glance over at him, watching him fiddle with his phone, one hand propped up on the headboard. his eyes meet yours, something in them that almost makes you believe he could stay. maybe, you're enough of a reason for him to stay where he is now.
but he won’t. you know that. his life is bigger than you. bigger than this city, this bed, and every memory you’ve shared together.
you nod, forcing a smile, trying to keep the strange bitterness from slipping into your voice.
"yeah, just thinking."
"don’t think too much." his lips curl up into that calming grin that’s made you feel better on several occasions. how could something that used to calm you make you feel like your heart was in your throat? “you’ll drive yourself crazy.”
it’s easy for him to say that. he’s used to moving on. he’s used to leaving. you? you're used to him being here.
his fingers tap absently against the screen of his phone. you can see the notifications lighting up—his agent, a few teammates, probably his parents, all reminding you of the inevitable: he’s leaving soon.
you want to scream. you want to ask him why he doesn’t care. why it’s so easy for him to slip away from everyone who loves him.
but instead, you pull your knees to your chest and keep your eyes fixed on him, as if the longer you look, you could magically gain telepathy to make him want to stay with you.
"how’s your flight looking?" you ask, hoping his answer would be that he cancelled it.
"all set."
and you can't breathe.
the casualness in his voice is what stings the most. the way he talks about leaving as if it’s just another day at the office, another game to be played.
he doesn’t get how you feel. maybe he can’t. maybe he’s just too busy not feeling anything.
The silence is deafening.
"do you... do you ever wish you could just stay?"
It’s a question you didn’t mean to ask, but it escapes before you can stop it.
You wish you could take it back the second it leaves your lips.
he looks up at you, and for the briefest moment, his eyes soften. for one second, he looks like he is completely and utterly yours.
he sets his phone down, sliding it onto the bedside table, then turns his full attention to you.
"i told you, didn’t i? love doesn’t come before soccer."
The words hit you like a train, but it’s not the truth that hurts—it’s the way he says it, like it’s not up for debate. as if it’s always been this way, and it always will be.
why can't he just try? just try to come home every so often...to you.
you feel like a fool. as if you've put your heart on display for him just to not even glance your way.
you know where you stand, even if it’s tearing you apart.
he doesn’t lie to you, doesn’t promise you things he can’t give, and maybe that's why you fell for him in the first place—he was the first person who didn’t play games with you.
"i’m gonna miss you," you say quietly, knowing that admitting it aloud makes it even worse.
his eyes flicker with something, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. he shifts, pulling his knees up to match yours, as if to say he’s close, but still so far. he rests his head back against the headboard.
and for a moment, you almost forget he’s leaving. you forget about the suitcase by the door. you forget about the plane ticket he has. you forget that in just a few days he wont be yours anymore.
"i’ll miss you too," he says softly.
but that’s it. that’s all he says. it’s not a promise, not a declaration. just another passing remark to fill the silence.
he doesn't mean it. it's more of a kindness thing for him to say it back.
you can feel the weight of everything unsaid.
you realize—he doesn’t know how much you care. He can’t understand you.
he’s never been asked to stay.
you’re not even sure you’d want him to. you can’t ask him to change his life for you. and you couldn't keep up with the lifestyle he lives.
the idea of him walking away—of losing him to something bigger, to something you’ll never be able to keep—feels like it will break you.
so you just lie down on his bed, for the last time, you tell yourself.
'after tonight, he'll be free of me'
after tonight, you'd walk out that door and not look back.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ITOSHI RIN, nagi seishiro, SAE ITOSHI, isagi yoichi, RENSUKE KUNIGAMI
⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ ' to leave the warmest bed i've ever known ' ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆
[ + your faves ! ]
again, i've never experienced this, so i hope the research i've done (looking up different types of situationships) has done it justice!
likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated!
#★ · airybcbyy#airy posts#airy writes for blue lock#bllk x reader#situationships#isagi yoichi x reader#rin itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x reader#kenyu yukimiya x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi x reader#mikage reo x reader#ranze kurona x reader#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader fluff#bllk#blue lock
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wow. not even a week into college and i'm already behind on work. fucking lovely.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#tw vent#(in the following tags)#i am immeasurably stressed right now#i need to talk to my doctor about getting a booster to go along w/my adhd meds#bc this has been a problem for a while but i think it's about to come to a head#and i'm very scared for when that happens#maybe also talk to my school's disability services#bc Good Fucking God i'm already overwhelmed#it's 11:56. should i just go to bed? i have so many things left to do#when do i even have the time to go to disability services. and i've heard a lot of schools' processes w/that are slow and overcomplicated#fuck. fuck fuck fuckity fuck.#i think i'm spiraling#i'm worried that if i don't get a degree i won't be able to find a nice enough job to support myself independent of my family#and i don't want to be stuck with them forever#i really really don't#maybe i can talk to disability services sometime tomorrow morning. see what they can do#i think there's mental health services too. i hope they're decent#i just feel really bad right now. and it's only week one.#it feels like time's moving too fast but too slow at the same time#classes take forever but my free time zips by and runs out way too quick#and when it's gone i've completed maybe one or two things. out of several. if any at all.#i just don't know what to do. it's only been three days.#maybe i can drop a class; i think i'm taking enough to still be considered a full-time student with one less thing on my plate#i hope so#fucking damn it#how do people do this??? for multiple years????#and i feel selfish for saying this but i hope if y'all see this post you'll interact with it somehow. even just a like.#i want to know someone hears me
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"likes don't do anything" they do
"there's no algorithm" there is
"well nobody uses the for you tab" I do
"reblog all art and fics you see" there's no thought put into that. if this does work on people, then it's just pity engagement borne out of guilt rather than genuine interest, which is arguably worse than having none, because it's totally hollow.
#if I make art of my ocs who I'm personally fond of and spent a few days drawing just right and it gets 3 reblogs then it gets 3 reblogs#it's rational to feel a little disappointed sure. but I can't do anything about that. it's just luck#and I got Very lucky accumulating a few thousand followers on my main-turned-art-only blog off the back of when m.oomin was very popular#(tho realistically many of those users are probably inactive/passive followers now)#and having this number of people tuned into my posts Still only gets me a couple dozen notes on original stuff.#every 3 years or so something might blow up. like that bugs bunny comic lol. and I did Not expect it to#especially bc it happened about a year after I shared it as well.#it can happen any time. so don't feel discouraged when your art doesn't get noticed right away#the one advantage this website has is that there's far less of a fomo culture compared to other socials where trends come and go in a week#and people will still interact with older posts. especially bc it's easier to find what you want through the tagging system. sort of.#there's really no way to predict this or aim for large engagement! oh unless you're specifically catering to the current hot topic#like d.unmeshi is wiiiildly popular right now. I've seen comics get 5-digit notes in under 48 hours 'cause more eyes are on it.#but if it's not something you personally like and you're only creating things for the attention then you're gonna be unhappy#and people will inevitably move on.#I'd much rather swing my art back around every few months or so until it finds someone it resonates with#than make people who were never planning to engage with it feel bad for no reason
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idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just don’t know what to do…..
#it’s been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until today….#and it’s like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop#but on the other hand i can’t just abandon him#and it’s like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him#and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didn’t do anything to me and i can’t really explain it but he just wasn’t himself#and like. we talked about it a million times and it’s not like it happens every week#it’s been like 5 times since december#but 3 have been on the past month alone#and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident#and like i’m not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved#and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldn’t be w him if it kept happening#and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again#by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive#and like. idk what to do#i really don’t want to be w someone like this#and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i don’t want this i hate feeling like this#but i also can’t abandon him#like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldn’t feel good leaving him alone#but like i don’t want to live like this#maybe i’ll ask for some time to just figure things out#but it’s gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg#i don’t wanna leave but i don’t want things to be like this either#and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk#i just don’t know what to do#i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i can’t abandon him:(#and our 1.5 anniversary was also next week…..#but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now
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i've been avoiding practicing driving because i've been preferring being in my own world lately and i HAVE to pay attention when driving so i just. don't. drive.
#😭😭😭 it's so bad right now it's so so so bad#like the serotonins are high but at the same time i have less than 2 months until my road test#i still have 2 lessons that i've paid for to book but when i tried my anxiety went 'uhm dont book those actually hahaha'#and now it's like THOSE COST $550 YOU BETTER FINISH THEM!!!!!!!!!#hoooly fuck. i cannot win.#i haven't been in the driver's seat in over 2 weeks#i drove successfully down one of the busiest corridors in the region and back and then never did it again akdjskdn#i feel like i really should start ADHD meds but i know there's some sort of restriction on it right now#and i don't think i could afford it#i've started drinking coffee again and i'm just. not doing great i think#video games are the only thing keeping me from falling apart and i'm letting my switch charge so i let my mind wander 🙃#kinda scared for next term since i've decided to keep going. applied for a new student loan and everything#and the one course i HAVE to take is supposedly really hard#(there's no lab at least which is good)#on tuesday i'll be normal again but right now i'm just. i want to play hades tbh#i hope there's enough battery in the switch and besides i think my laptop charger is down here#(it charges the switch fine despite being an apple charger lmao. i don't get it)#vent
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you know when you're in da overwhelm zone due to Circumstances that you don't really have power over. well it's really hard to deescalate from that i am finding!
HOWEVER i am attempting:
FACING THE THINGS because the longer they loom. the longer they are looming for.
regular breaks from Addressing Everything
regular snacks/meals/drinks
prioritising
postponing stuff that can be left until later (But watch out!)
doing other things in advance that are easy to do now (such as stockpiling meals ready for feeling more ill)
asking for help where i can
#every day i am feeling more unwell in a new way. BUT going to the dr later in the week.#there are other things that need sorting but i can't do them alone so i'm Waiting to get help with them.#i have asked for help (or will do when#circumstances allow) so that's really good! but the waiting.#feeling like i am doing A Bad Job but i think that's just because i'm super 'alone in my house not going out' at the moment due to being#extra ill. and barely talking to people for the same reason. so it's very easy to get stuck in my head where i am only thinking of myself#and therefore only blaming myself because my whole scope is 'dealing with right now (just me)'.#like things are going bad and it feels like that's because of me. but i don't think it is. i'm trying really hard!#which doesn't = doing good. but also like. struggling to see what i should/could do differently with my current resources you know.#ANYWAY. god. it's tuesday. you could say there are some problems. but we stay silly.#and stay facing the problems and gradually working through them!!!#i just wanna have the energy to properly be involved in the lives of the people i care about :( ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!
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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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oh no. i feel like if i do not consume an entire load of bread in the very near future i will simply cease to exist.
#very uh. very worried about my finances right now#like. i'm fine. i have some savings. but i also just got to put something into my savings for the first time in a VERY long time and now#now i immediately have to take it out#and i'm getting stressed out about buying groceries#because if i dip into my savings here what about there? where is the line?#and i owe so much to taxes but i can't exactly afford getting less of my pay......#my last paycheck was $0.66 more than my rent#my insurance is refusing to reimburse the last of my electrolysis visits from last year and like#i'm SO over the fight but that's $120. that i really actually kinda need?#and i'm starting to get that funny in the head feeling about wondering how i'm going to feed myself#i still feel so much shame about that funeral i went to years ago and my only thought during the reception after was about#how there was just so much food and i could actually eat my fill#i have leftovers for dinner tonight and it's fine but.... making a lovely vegan dish wasn't the best choice tbh#i feel like if i don't have a large helping of bread and meat i'm going to go insane#and it really REALLY doesn't help that i've apparently lost the ability to eat in the mornings#so i'm at quite a significant fuel deficit and it's stacking#but no matter how hungry i am in the morning the concept of processing solid food is just repulsive and daunting#eating a clif bar at 9am would take literally all of my spoons for the day#i was looking at protein shakes since i can handles *drinking* breakfast#but the cheapest one that meets my dietary requirements is $35 for a 12pack#and i'm uh. i'm worrying over spending $10 on produce this week#personal#and nevermind that i don't have the spoons to even GO shopping (:#(on an aside i switched back to my regular melatonin gummies last night and i Actually Slept. so hopefully that will continue and help some)#i just want to curl up in a ball on the floor and have someone gently place a roll of bread and hunk of cheese next to me in my enclosure#also it's photophobia season and i still feel like i haven't recovered from saturday#got too much sunlight and was nauseaus for half the day#my body feels so bad
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#excuse the upcoming midnight ramble#but man am i awful at socializing...#i messaged an old friend the other day (a highschool friend i haven't talked to in 7 years ✌🏻)#and we had like a 5 message exchange and that's it cause i'm so bad at keeping conversations going#and like she's not dping very well mentally right now so she's not in the mood to keep the convo energy up#and i want to be nice and helpful but i have no right to ask details about her life (i haven't seen her in 7 years)#we're strangers again and i feel like such a creep trying to force myself into her life again#it's been a week since this and I really want to talk to her again but I don't know if i should?#like she was nice to me and said my message cheered her up and that it was nice that k thought of her#but idk of that was like a ''aw cute now let me go back to my life and you go back to yours''#or like a ''aw cute we should rekindle our friendship and just be like we used to''#and i don't want to assume the latter cause that's just creepy but i also don't want to never message her again?#idk if i should push her a bit or like wait until she's feeling better and try again?#i also feel like super selfish cause i'm treating the situation like ''i want a friend and i chose this one idc what she feels or thinks''#and she's not an object just there to be my friend only because i feel lonely?#like it's not her job?#i hate this idk what i can or can't do or what is creepy and what's nice#i hate socializing#angel talks#personal
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