#i just feel like i can never fit into a corporate/ professional setting for the life of me

[t-errifier]

the feeling of not belonging & just wanting to disappear is so strong right now - work really took it out of me & i can't wait to be off, so i can focus on some healing activities

[1galaxia369]

AQUARIUS RISING ♒️

Okay guys, I see a lot good energy radiating from you. You've finally let go and you finally realized that the treasure is within. Alot of you are out here chasing crazy (but attainable) dreams. I love that for you, there's been so much pressure on you to be normal and do the right thing but there's no such thing. When you you force yourself into that box you become unhappy and restless. The stagnacy creeps in after and then the financial issues. You have to constantly stimulate yourself, you are a creator, you create. You are not meant to get up and do the samething everyday over and over. It's the reason you feel so depressed and confused, you don't have a creative outlet or anything fun to look forward to. Honoring your inner child is important to you, all work and no play will make you a sad and depressed mess of a human being. I understand Saturn being your ruler but so is Uranus, there needs to be a balance between practicality + hard work and Creativity + eccentricity ( like come on you never been able to fit into society...standing out is your thing). You use to be so creative and fun, what happened? You let societal expectations stop you again. You were never meant to be Kris that wears a gray suit everyday and works in corporate, you're the rich eccentric artist that spends their day doing crazy spontaneous things who dresses like they belong in a movie. I'm just trying to tell you that your success and happiness comes from the same thing you try to lock away--your individuality!

You are really out here mad at yourself for not being able to do what everyone else is doing even though it makes you unhappy. That makes no sense, why do you have to change your self to fit in? why can’t everyone try to be themselves? Society is set up to keep everyone living the same story. You are here to create your own! Nothing you do will ever be normal, the way you are will never be normal and it's time to embrace that kid. Once you finally make this decision to honor yourself then you can finally see some movement in your life. The universe will be blessing you never endingly, people will be coming to you to bring you support and harmony. These new connections will be people who love you for you and will encourage you to embrace your individuality. You might have went through most of your life without any support or someone to clap you when you achieve something but this support is coming through for you. You deserve this praise and support you're a star and remember that. There's going to be success in whatever you are working on at this moment, this project or goal has been something you have been working on for a while now, results will start to finally show up and there will be a positive outcome. Of course it's successful, you worked hard on this and you agonized over it but most importantly, you stuck with it and disciplined yourself. Congratulations!

Take the next step. It's time to go full in, get your pen and paper and start planning your next steps. I promise you, success is waiting for you to take the leap. Some of you are honing your skills for perfection and professional use. Some of you are in school, or planning to go back to school for a new skillset, some of you are practicing new techniques, self teaching new skills, enjoying your talents, whatever it is pursue it. It will be beneficial to you at this time, use it to further your self or invest into what you really want to do. Remember that you're here to do great things. You are bigger than what society has to offer hell, you're bigger than what this world has to offer. Some of you are a about become mentors & guides, oracles, astrologers, spiritualists, healers, practitioners, open up spiritual businesses or open a place of healing. You guys are here to guide and heal, people want to break away from this unhealthy society and you are here to help them. You are here to show them another way of life is possible. All of this can be triggered by you making the first step, out of society and chasing your true desires and dreams.

I recommend working with crystals, you have a lot of major things happening you need some support (rose quartz,pyrite, citrine,garnet, carnelian, obsidian,rainbow flourite, clear quartz,selenite). Smudge if you can and clear out any energy that makes you feel low. (palo santo, cinnamon stick,frankincense, incense). Go out in nature you need to interact with the natural energies that mother nature has to offer

1:11 1:23

[lostinthewoods1991]

When Will We Stop Glorifying This Slavery?

"Get out of your comfort zone" - I think this is something most of us have heard quite often. It's one of those overused sentences that people throw around when they have nothing better to say but still want to sound motivational. Over time, I've come to question this a lot. I'm not saying one must not get out of one's comfort zone. All of us need to be challenged in good ways, yes. However, I have arrived at the conclusion that while I push myself out of comfort zones, it's equally important that I recognise my threshold at any given point of time when it comes to the stress I can bear. I've seen how people glorify the "pushing oneself out of one's comfort zone" thing to the point of breaking oneself. The only thing I got out of listening to them was that I ended up being broken and in need of recovery.

Last year, I happened to move to another city for a few months. The only experience I had staying in a hostel was at my university. But, that was different. I had people I knew, staying close by. Staying in a single room in Kochi was my choice. I wanted to come back to a room where I could just be myself, after a long day of having to fit into an environment that was new to me. But, as days passed by, I was feeling disoriented. It was my first experience of working in something like a corporate set up. Did I think I was pushing myself out of my comfort zone with all this? Yes, very much. But, I quickly recognised that the place wasn't meant for me. While I liked copywriting because it involved tasks that creatively challenged me, the workspace was nothing like I expected it to be. Things were manageable in the beginning. I was told by the boss that we were a "family". I didn't know this was her way of saying that things weren't strictly professional there and she could bend the rules just as she pleased. Everyone seemed to like her, me included. I could say I was smitten with her smile. However, the better part of me didn't quite agree with my liking for her. Despite all her charm and amiability, I felt uneasy, the moment she walked into the room. I couldn't immediately understand why this feeling persisted. I would feel myself stiffen involuntarily, my breathing becoming irregular, my heart, steadily racing. Something told me not to trust her. That there was something cold and cruel about her, that something unpleasant lurked, even under the most heartwarming of her smiles. I never trust my radar in such situations. Instead, I would brush it off as my unnecessary anxiety.

I don't know how much of this is true but I've read somewhere that children who grew up with one of their parents or both their parents being volatile would grow up to be hypervigilant, always unknowingly looking for discrepancies and subtle shifts in people's behaviour/tone/body language or even their microexpressions. People tell me I'm intuitive but in reality, I think it mostly comes down to my hypervigilance. It's not something I'm doing consciously. Anyhow, coming back to her, I assumed it was just an irrational fear of mine. But, I realised it wasn't a case of my radar going haywire.

To start with, we were constantly monitored. My part of the office was right under a surveillance camera. Every single thing, including the way I sat was being monitored. If I ever turned around even to ask some work-related doubt to somebody, my boss would send a text in the group immediately - "Hima avde entha cheyyunne?". It was tiring, being micromanaged all the time and having to explain myself always. In the beginning, she would say all the right things. Hima, you must take leave if you feel stressed out, your mental health is your most important asset and so on. It quickly changed into my occasional text requests for leave being met with her passive-aggressive "K", even if I was genuinely not well. The fact that I was unwell wasn't relevant. This was a person who couldn't care any less for her employees' physical/mental health until things got that drastic.

I wrote the paragraphs above, a few days ago. I was going to write about how trying to push myself out of my comfort zone broke me, instead of contributing to my growth. I thought I'd return to my experience in the office at Kochi later and left the writing halfway. Yesterday, I read the heart-wrenching letter written by Anna's mother who lost her daughter to the unbearable work pressure in EY. I couldn't help but feel broken myself, imagining how much stress Anna must have been through. The company I worked for in Kochi was nowhere near the scale of EY, one of the firms in the "Big Four", as they call it. Yet, it was one of the worst work-related experiences I ever had. I can only imagine how much more gruelling it would be to work for EY. Having seen the stress my cousin sister who once worked in EY used to go through, Anna's mother's words hit closer home.

I remember how hostile my boss was when I asked her, on behalf of everyone, if we could be granted a few days of work-from-home, given we were all falling sick with some of us experiencing breathing difficulties, following the Brahmapuram fire incident. It wasn't even a demand. I was only politely asking her if it would be possible. Somebody close to my hostel had died. I was terribly anxious for all obvious reasons. Instead of showing atleast a bare minimum empathy, I was cornered and intimidated by the boss, for the simple reason that I happened to be the one who asked her if it was possible for us to work from home. I guess that was when the tyrant in her woke up. How dare you even ask for something like that? She did not say that out loud but I could hear the question reaching me from across her head, through the video call. Mind you, she was at her home in Trichur and safe, while this was happening in Kochi and she refused us work-from-home. I was surprised to see how fragile her sense of control was, crumbling under a simple question I asked. She looked at me as though I was a threat to her. She told me I had to get a medical certificate that proved the cause of my throat infection was the smoke in Kochi. I remember wondering what she was high on. I decided I was going to go home, no matter what she said. It wasn't even an option anymore. I felt the need to crush her ridiculously fragile ego and that's what I did. I went home.

After I returned to the office, I was obviously not in her good books anymore. She would lash out at me for no reason, make me feel cornered, alone and intimidated. Her favourite employees were the ones who would worship her, irrespective of how she treated them, even if she made them work overtime with no compensation. A younger me would've taken more time to see her for what she was. But given I wasn't that naive anymore, I was considered a "problem maker" when I wasn't even rebelling as such and I was only asking things that should otherwise be considered normal.

All the time I worked there, I found myself reflecting on who we were in that company. Were we even human? Who was I serving? What was the meaning of what I was doing? Did it even align with my values? The system is such that it makes you stop asking these questions, shed your human qualities, slowly and steadily reducing you into a cog in a machine. Your worth as an employee rests on how much you can dehumanise yourself. On how much you can do away with your fundamental needs and rights as a human being. On how much you can reduce yourself into a blob of existence that requires no meaning in life. They would talk about "productivity" in a way that makes you believe they have your highest good on their mind. To me, it comes across as another fancy word for slavery. You might almost convince yourself that they want to bring the best out of you, when in reality, their only intention is to exploit your abilities to their advantage, with little to no regard for the person you are. In between, they would provide you with a few, minimal things that vaguely remind you of your humanness, just so they can claim later that they had cared for their employees' well-being. This is what a small company made me feel. I had to get out to preserve my sanity and in the months that followed, I was left feeling disillusioned.

Despite being aware of all this, parents would still brag if their kids get into firms like EY. Youngsters would still believe it's for their best. After all, it would look good on their resumes. What a world! Here, I am at a loss for words.

RIP, Anna.

[ripplestitchskein]

The replies were off on the Stolitz post but I HAD to tell you that you are a mega genius with an incredible talent for writing, analyzing and explaining things. I don’t know if that’s a thing you do but I’m a professional journalist so that’s what I do. That doesn’t really mean anything here but oh my god it was so well written I wish all my reviews sounded like that. You are truly big brain. Please never stop analyzing shows like that. Sorry if this was a lot lol. I just haven’t read something so beautifully written in a while 😁 also totally agree, they are so perfect for each other ❤️

This made me cry. Like I screen grabbed and sent this to several people like “LOOKIT WHAT THIS BEAUTIFUL HUMAN SAID”. It kind of prompted a whole reflection spiral, but in a good way. In the BEST way.

By profession I am a software engineer, I build middleware business applications for a largish regional corporation, but because of my writing background I also handle a lot of the documentation: trainings, system requirements, scope etc. Technical writing isn’t as fun as fiction or media analysis but I do think it helped me hone skills in structure, word economy and expository essay style writing. It is a lot of explaining highly technical things to non-technical leadership like VPs and Directors who come with a lot of uninformed opinions which I think translates well to media analysis, lol.

I also can’t stop myself from writing a million words. I think it’s an autism thing? It’s a long running joke with my co-workers that if Stephanie sends you an email it will have everything you need to know and be so well organized and structured it looks like it came from a textbook but you have to set aside 30 minutes to read it. Long post should be a default tag for me 😅.

I’ve written professionally in the past, like received laughable pay for it, but it was freelance copywriting and blogging and I kinda hated it. Writing about vacuums and solar panels and having to squeeze search engine optimized keywords into a certain word count is the kind of soulless drudgery that kills any creative spark you have.

Writing fiction, be it fan fiction or my own personal novels (which tend to be queer romances), is something I do for fun, but because of killer imposter syndrome and that sweet AuADHD brain combo I have a hard time finishing things. I have, no joke, FIVE unfinished novels with more than 40k words each.

Fan fiction is easier because of the dopamine hits from comments and kudos, but personal fiction is hard because it’s just me and the void of my intrusive thoughts.

Media analysis though, I can just sit down and brain dump my thoughts about a thing I love and send it out to the world within an hour and see the lovely or interesting things people say. There is no pressure, if someone doesn’t agree with me they are usually nice about it, sometimes you make good friends or they reply with their amazing perspectives and it’s great. And then you get messages like this.

Messages that kind of blow up your brain and light that fire of “I SHOULD focus on writing more, it’s what I love to do, I’ve done it since I could write, and people who don’t know me or have any investment in my feelings tell me I’m good at it”.

You didn’t know when sending this message but I’ve been restructuring my life a bit lately. I tend to bounce from activity to activity, I’ve done game development, digital and traditional art, violin, comic books, roller derby, 3d modeling, and so many crafts I bought a house specifically because it has a detached workshop to put all my craft shit. But I don’t finish most things, or I get stuck and it’s so frustrating I give up. So I’ve been thinking, that rather than bounce between all these things that I should focus on three areas: fiber arts (which encompass enough things I wouldn’t get bored and could still bounce), roller derby for fitness and my friends, and writing.

This message just hit at the right time, it affirmed some plans I was making, some dreams I have, and hopefully will lead to good things in the future. I know you didn’t ask for all this, no one does with me, but I wanted to give a little background on how simple messages like this can be part of a larger personal introspection and come at just the right time to encourage people to do things they want to do but were too scared to do.

So thank you. It really means so so much.

[iblazerturkey]

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[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

contemplating various character options

but MOSTLY

trying to decide if period piece ballerina protagonist can be faithfully reflavored to be the mage / cartomancer character in the shadowrun-esque playing card based solo journaling RPG. the setting is a kind of sketchily, lazily lightly post apocalyptic (the creator wrote this shit mid 2020, so, you know, that was a vibe), but also a little cyberpunk-y, and I feel like that genre is very essentially about blue collar characters, so professional ballerina at a prestigious institution is right out. and what do ballerinas do when ballet isn't an option? if they don't end up teaching pilates? that's right. this is a STRIPPER alternative timeline. getting that done faithfully and well would be a big deal if this was a novel, but if it's a self indulgent little game mostly for myself, I can slap my pole dance specific knowledge on there, sprinkle in some stories from my long ago stripper friends, and call it a day.

I think I want her in Appalachia because I have so much region specific playing card lore I've collected, but she would never go there so I think that, say, post theatre closures she moved back to South Florida, but Miami had some sort of water based disaster and she barely made it out in time and is just stuck in the mountains somewhere (overcorrected, fled to high ground).

however, there are, of course, other options, some of which would be funny

there's skittish subby werewolf boy, a crowd favorite. pros: very blue collar, has the right sort of generally pessimistic attitude that fits right into the genre, already vaguely hates corporations. cons: why the FUCK would he ever start binding demons (or whatever) into playing cards? he's just not enough of a nerd to be an occultist. he has no interest in The Lore. what are the theological implications in a setting with werewolves and spirit binding magic? he is, also, specifically a loner--lone wolf, hahaha, SHUT UP--and the game set up requires that you have some sort of "community" you're tied to and protecting, and that would actually be difficult to swing here. almost everybody else is easily slotted into a pro-social role, even most villains, but he's just sort of a sad boy, you know? who can bite your face off. he's just very self sufficient. it would honestly take him a while to notice any sort of mild apocalypse happening. IRL this motherfucker wouldn't even notice covid until deep into 2020, riding into town on his horse to pick up the mail.

his also werewolf evil ex boyfriend: honestly...actually. put a pin in this idea, self. he also goes long stretches of time not werewolf-ing it, so there's that. also, arguably you could translate his character to a normal human and it could work. biker guy occultist isn't even a stretch. his aesthetic is already perfect.

the eventual canon Human Love Interest: the lawyer is absolutely enough of a nerd to be an occultist and enough of a bastard to bind things into cards and use them. however, would almost certainly be some rando corpo in this kind of setting. there are ways to work with that and still hit the right spirit for the game, but it would be complicated and this is supposed to be easy and fun. still, running a corpo deck is something people in the game community are already discussing, and I would be better at it than most people attempting it. he is LA based, which is a different feel. east LA latino punk mage would be a baller time, though. maybe if he's younger and only just on the path to eventually going corporate.

this dude's BFF: hilarious. he is never specifically physically described in any of the novels because he's actually a changeling in the dungeons and dragons sense and looks like whatever. He is only described as handsome, so the reader can imagine whatever, but it's also my deepest of in jokes that he appears in some capacity in every single thing I've written, however briefly. There is never anything in the text of the novel that indicates that he's not just some normal human person. I think this is the first time I've posted about it in ANY public capacity. anyway, outright unfair to have a planeswalker in a relatively low magic setting. also however very funny. but no, it doesn't work. still, VERY funny. possibly also why eventual lawyer boy is binding spirits into cards at all--his bestie is an unstable magical field. weird things happen. possibly this motherfucker himself is bound into a card by accident. "the FUCK do you mean, you're a demon?" no no no bro, not a demon, that's propaganda--please put down the salt, bro. bro. c'mon.

sabor latino reluctant necromancer hot dad: of all characters who probably COULD bind spirits into a deck of cards--of all characters who would resolutely NOT--idk, also very funny but for different reasons. not enough of a nerd to know The Lore. very resistant to learning any lore. would probably bind something on accident and spend the whole time going "shit shit fuck oh shit oh fuck" and trying to get rid of it and instead ending up with a whole deck of demons or ghosts or whatever. pros: he's already a noir character with occult elements. he's very tied to Miami so whatever vague disaster I want to write, he's there, dealing with the fallout. cons: lots of jumping through hoops if he's in genuine danger because the in character correct answer is that no matter how much magical bullshit he's forced to deal with, when shit gets really real, he's like, "yeah okay I cast glock." brings a gun to a mage fight. IDK, it might be fun. perpetually tired and done with everyone's shit, you think he's gonna do mage bullshit and then he just punches you. funny.

his retired art thief love interest: canonically the nerdiest of occult nerds. knows The Lore and then some. would absolutely bind a bunch of entities into a pack of cards. would also probably object to the ars goetia demons, like I do, but on aesthetic grounds, not because she's a pansy. would not feel the least bit bad about binding and imprisoning almost anything in her deck of cards. but like. it would actually be boring to write. it's too easy, except for how slumming it gives her the vapors.

some AU version of erikphantomopera himself: you can't put this motherfucker in a setting with magic in it. he would ABSOLUTELY go apeshit with it and not give a fuck about the ars goetia demons being, yknow, demons. he'd just do it. his bleakness of attitude is too well adjusted in the general misanthropy of a cyberpunk setting. he'd be like theft theft demon ritual theft extortion theft MURDER theft theft I HAVE WIRTTEN A CONCERTO theft demon ritual theft theft.

like the mage above him on the list, I have trouble picturing him as a true blue collar protag--he's a fancy bitch and his attitude is aristocracy coded. I hate an actual aristocrat in my fiction, but somebody who gets there via crime is fun. like the mage above him, he's actually too smart. besides, he can't be a playable character because he needs to cameo in the former ballerina storyline. possibly as man who leaves a gigantic tip but is unsettling because how long was he standing there before you noticed? also he never speaks to you. also your rival is mysteriously absent from her prime time shifts and switched to day shifts for some reason. what crazy random happenstance.

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 6

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You deal with the aftermath of your decision.

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: There’s a little bit of smut in here, not too filthy though I guess???

A/N: VOILA NO ANGST IN THIS CHAPTER, only tension teehee anyway I hope this doesn’t disappoint and I am looking forward to seeing everyone’s rage about this part lmfaoooo

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

The last time you lost sleep was back in your days at the university, when you were working on your thesis. And that was years ago so now that you were wide awake at two in the fucking morning, it was frustrating you.

What was even more frustrating was the fact that you were up because of a guy, and not just any guy— Bucky Barnes.

You didn't know whether you made the right decision of rejecting him like that, without even giving the relationship a damn chance. But you were right, weren't you? That making it official with courtship was going to make your corporate life a living hell.

Perhaps you were overthinking?

You groaned out loud and sat up on your bed, grabbing your phone from the night stand and opening up your messaging app.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean those things that I said.

Delete, delete, delete.

Can we talk again?

Delete, delete, delete.

I already miss you.

"Really, now?" you chuckled to yourself, albeit sarcastically.

When did you ever chase a guy? Never in you entire life did you put your walls down for a fucking guy. What would make Bucky an exception? Sure, he was rich as fuck and handsome as hell but those wouldn't give him an immunity from your pride.

Throwing your phone under your pillow, you decided to stand by your verdict about keeping things professional between you and Bucky.

-

The universe seemed to hate you because aside from losing sleep, you also forgot to set your alarms and now you were running late for the mancom meeting. You really had to confront Bucky like that a day before the meeting, huh?

By the time you reached the conference room, the meeting was already in progress. Heads turned to you upon your arrival, the entire room silent as you whispered your apologies. When you looked around, you realized that the only seat available was the one next to Bucky.

Great, just great!

You could feel his eyes on you as you carefully made your way towards him, mumbling another apology for your tardiness before sitting down. You knew how much Bucky hated it when people were late, whether for a meeting or for a rendezvous. The last time you were late, he denied you of your orgasm when he fingered you in his car.

Was he thinking of the same thing now? If not for last night's discussion, you would probably be bent down on his desk by lunch time. You cleared your throat and squeezed your legs uncomfortably, a gesture that Bucky noticed right off the bat.

You crossed your legs and focused your attention on the presentation until you noticed what Bucky was doing beside you. You tried to be discreet when you checked him out through your peripheral vision; he was leaning back against his seat with his legs wide apart. He seemed to be paying attention to the presentation but then he started stroking his chin in a certain way that made you remember all the times he did that whenever he had his eyes on you.

"Mister Barnes? What do you think about this suggestion?" the head of operations asked.

Bucky hummed lowly as he stroked his lower lip, nodding his head in approval before saying in a rough voice, "I like it."

"I like it."

"Like what?" you asked innocently, lifting a curious brow at Bucky when you entered his office one night in a tight fitting skirt with a slit that showed off the garter of your stockings.

You knew that it was going to drive Bucky insane if you walked around the office wearing something so teasing like that. To hell with the HR, you actually received a memo for wearing such at a workplace but whatever. The reward from Bucky would surely be more than enough to make this decision worth it.

"Playing coy now, are we?" Bucky asked, standing up from his seat and then walking over to you.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bucky." you teased.

Bucky smirked and kept his eyes on you when he knelt down in front of you, his rough palms sliding against the skin of your thighs before tugging at the edge of your stockings.

"I'll show you what I'm talking about." he said before he bunched up your skirt, licking a stripe against your lace-clad pussy.

You exhaled heavily at the memory and shook your head. Fuck no, you weren't going to give in! You weren't even sure whether Bucky was intentionally teasing you. Nope, definitely not giving in so easily.

-

You survived the entire day, despite being on the receiving end of Bucky's subtle teasing. That motherfucker was testing you alright, you were damn sure of it. He really went to the pantry during lunch, when you were washing your mug at the sink. And he had the audacity to stand behind you, pretending to be reaching for something from the cupboards.

Janet the snitch was there too! Thank fuck she was preoccupied with her salad and didn't notice when Bucky pressed his crotch against your ass, his breath fanning against your neck when he whispered "Excuse me." in that delicious, rough voice of his.

Thinking that you were finally free to head home, you started gathering your things until you received an e-mail from none other than Bucky. It was a little past seven in the evening already and you've submitted all your reports earlier. What does he want now?

Come see me in my office. Now.

Regards, Bucky Barnes

A surge of electricity coursed through your veins, your entire body going cold and you weren't sure whether you should be nervous or excited. Or aroused, even. You weren't going to lie but you sort of hoped that his e-mail contained another dick pic again, something to let you know that everything was fine between the two of you.

Who were you kidding though, you were the one who asked for this set-up.

You adjusted your skirt and went straight to the elevator, counting the seconds until it reached Bucky's floor. Every step you took towards his office felt heavier and heavier as you neared his door. What does he want?! You couldn't think of anything that he needed to talk to you about.

"Shit. Okay, bitch you got this." you mumbled to yourself before knocking.

Bucky didn't even tell you to come in, he just opened the door and left it ajar as he went back to his seat behind his desk. He seemed agitated but god did he look good. You really needed to get a grip of yourself.

"You need anything, Mister Barnes?" it felt strange to address him like that.

He heaved out a sigh and shrugged, "I'm very disappointed in this report." he said, slamming the folder on top of his desk before looking up at you.

"I don't understand. I followed every instruction and even included charts to make it easier to understand." you explained, slightly offended that he was questioning your hard work.

You worked hard on that report, and he knew how much. Was he power tripping you now?

"That's the thing, you followed every instruction. Sometimes you have to make certain changes, that doesn't mean it's automatically wrong as long as the outcome is the same." Bucky explained.

You narrowed your eyes at him. He was insinuating something and you knew exactly what it was. You preferred not to focus on it and straightened up, trying to play it cool.

"I don't get it." you shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest.

Bucky heaved out sigh, "Come take a look. I'll show you where you went wrong." he said, raising his eyebrow at you, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip.

Oh no. Oh fucking no. He was giving you the look. You tried not to falter and maintained your professional behavior. Slowly, you walked around his desk until you stood beside him.

"See this part? Too detailed, I don't need to know about this. I just want to see the results." Bucky explained casually.

"Another thing is the graph you made. It's good, but again, too many details. You see this?" Bucky asked, glancing up at you.

You squinted your eyes, not wanting to stand too close to Bucky. Even from where you were, his perfume was invading your senses. It reminded you of all the times that scent was all that you could smell, especially whenever Bucky was on top of you, fucking your brains out. Or whenever he took you from behind, his face buried into your neck and—

"Are you listening?" Bucky asked.

You cleared your throat, "Yes." you immediately responded.

"Here, take a look at what I'm talking about." Bucky said, casually placing a hand on the small of your back as you bent down to look at your report closely.

It's as if everything happened so fast. You were trying to see what Bucky was talking about when you heard his chair screech against the floor, followed by his strong hands gripping your waist, pulling you down to sit on his lap.

You gasped out loud when you felt his hard cock against your ass. A slight whimper slipped past your lips when Bucky slightly moved, thrusting his hips upward while his hands on your waist kept you still.

"Bucky, fuck I..." you panted.

And then suddenly, the contact was gone and Bucky was pulling you away from him as he stood up. A shit-eating grin plastered on his face as he feigned innocence.

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot. We're supposed to be professional now. That's what you wanted, right?" he asked mockingly, shaking his head and then fixing his suit.

You stood there, gawking at him incredulously at the stunt that he just pulled on you. Did he really just...?

What the fuck?

"Anyway, I want the revised report by my table end of the day tomorrow." he said oh so casually, as if he didn't just pull you down to sit on his fucking lap while he had a damn erection.

He sat back down and continued with his shit as you stood there, disappointed (at yourself actually) and just feeling like a fucking fool.

"I can't believe you just did that." you softly said, turning around to leave.

"Just say you want me and this will all be over." Bucky said.

You looked back at him with a scowl and saw how smug he was staring at you. His lips curled up into a grin, eyes glinting with mischief. You wanted to kiss that fucking smirk off his face, maybe sit on it and ride it until he's out breath, until the skin on your inner thighs burned from how his scruff was scratching against it.

But again, you were too proud to do that.

"Thank you, Mister Barnes. I'll see you tomorrow."

-

What do you call it when a girl is left high and dry? Is there a female version for having blue balls? You needed to know because that was something you've been going through for two weeks now.

Two fucking weeks.

Since that night in Bucky's office, things have gotten worse for you. Bucky wanted you to give in first and damn, he was giving it his fucking all when it comes to making you cave. The man even texted you a shirtless photo of him at the gym. By accident, he said.

And here you thought that the both of you were going to be professional moving forward.

Bucky always teased you whenever he could, made sure that you'd be reminded of the times you spent together. Whether it was with how he spoke or looked at you, he was subtle but he went all out. One time during a meeting, Bucky started to play with his fucking mouse. His middle finger doing things to his scroll wheel, moving back and forth all the while he was staring at you with a sleazy grin.

As if you needed any more reminder how much his fingers felt so much better against your cunt as compared to your own.

-

Friday came quickly and you couldn't be more grateful for it. It had been very busy at the office and Bucky was edging you even without having the need to touch you. You needed a break from him, needed some time to yourself and rethink about the certain decisions you made.

You stood by the elevator, waiting for it to reach your floor when Mark approached you.

"Been a hectic week huh?" he asked, adjusting the strap of his laptop bag on his shoulder.

You sighed, "Very hectic, thank goodness the week is over." you said with a chuckle.

"Any plans for the night?" Mark asked, turning to you.

You shook your head, "Not really. You?"

Mark smiled widely at you, "No plans either. But I do remember you owe me a night at the bar." he reminded you.

You mentally facepalmed because fuck, you totally forgot about that. Mark wasn't so bad actually, he was kind and seemed like a lot of fun to hang out with. You just...you just weren't attractive to him.

Maybe you should give it a try? Just to keep your mind off of Bucky even for a while. That man was driving you insane, honestly.

"Of course, yeah. I remember." you said with an awkward laugh.

"Do you want to go tonight?" he asked at the same time the elevator doors opened.

Lo and behold, Bucky Barnes was inside as well. Fucking hell.

"Mister Barnes." Mark greeted him before gesturing for you to step inside first.

You saw the look that Bucky gave both you and Mark. Suddenly, hanging out with Mark didn't seem like a good idea anymore. You prayed that Mark wouldn't bring it up anymore, at least, while Bucky was inside the elevator.

It felt like you were being ushered into the pits of hell when you stepped inside. Even with Mark's presence, you felt nervous being around Bucky. God knows what this man could do when provoked.

"Anyway, how about tonight?" Mark repeated his question, much to your dismay.

Bucky was standing behind the both of you and yet you could feel his eyes digging holes against the back of your head. He was waiting for your response.

"Come on, you promised me a date." Mark just had to imply.

Bucky coughed and Mark turned to him all of a sudden, "You ever been to the bar down the block, Mister Barnes?" he asked.

"Yes." Bucky curtly responded.

"They serve the best drinks, right? So come on, let me take you there. You won't regret it. What do you think, Mister Barnes?"

Mister Barnes will fucking whoop your ass, Mark, you thought to yourself. You suddenly started sweating bullets, feeling your armpits dampen beneath your blouse because jesus christ, was this really happening? You just wanted for the ground to swallow you up. Should you pretend to faint instead? Just to get out of this awkward situation?

"Yeah, a promise is a promise. Why don't you let Mike take you out tonight?" Bucky said, stepping in between you and Mark.

Mark made a face, "It's actually Mark, Mister Barnes."

Bucky though, kept his attention on you. His expression unreadable but his jaw was tensed. You were so fucked. And not in a good way. He was trying so hard to stay calm but when you glanced down, his hands were balled into fists.

"What do you say to that date with Martin?" Bucky asked again.

Mark lifted a finger, "Mark." he chimed in again.

"Yeah, whatever Michael." Bucky waved him off with his hand before turning back to you. "So, what do you say?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked past Bucky's shoulder to check on Mark, he didn't seem suspicious though. He looked hopeful, actually. But you pitied him because he just made it to Bucky's list of employees to keep an eye on. Aside from Janet, of course.

"I...um..." Fuck it.

"Yeah, okay. A date it is then." you awkwardly said, forcing out the driest laugh you ever produced in your entire life.

Mark excitedly pumped his fist in the air, "Great! Thank you, Mister Barnes. Guess she just needed a little push." he said.

Bucky feigned a smile and nodded, taking a step back from you. "A little push. Yeah, I guess so."

Finally, the elevators reached the ground floor and you were ready to sprint out of it when Bucky said his parting words.

"You enjoy your date with Marty now. Totally nothing unprofessional about dating a co-worker." Bucky told you and before the elevator doors closed, you saw the scowl that appeared on his face.

Shit.

"Mister Barnes is acting weird, don't you think?" Mark asked as the both of you walked out of the building.

You forced a smile and walked ahead of Mark, "Definitely not weird. You know what? I badly need a drink or two, an entire bottle of tequila maybe so let's just go now."

As if on cue, your phone buzzed and the message that showed up made you want to stop in the middle of the street, lay down on your back and await your demise.

You're playing a dangerous game. Well, two can play at that.

-

The Match Special Tags:

@marvelslag @weird-mumbling @propertyofpoeandbucky @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @mostly-marvel-musings @squishybabies @megzdoodle @suchababie @annathesillyfriend @xhollycowx @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @5-seconds-of-mendes @gogolucky13 @countonthesun @iloveshawnieboi @learisa @borikenlove @scarlet-natasha89

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​ @jessou893​ @stealapizzamyheart​ @bagelofthelord​ @mxnt​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​ @ohladymacbeth​ @wildflowergubler​ @supraveng​ @twinerd14​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​ @charminivy​ @amelia-song-pond​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​ @mcubqrnes @im-squished @tcc-gizmachine​ @sipsteacasually​ @prettyintopeerpressure​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[dimeeasy]

10 Legit Ways to Build Passive Income Online

Whether you are a student looking to make some extra cash, a working professional wanting to build a side hustle, or a corporate escapee and whosoever who is starting to build an online business need to have some cash inflow for the further smooth flow of your business.

There are many sites out there saying make money like $100 a day with surveys, with google sites, etc. Of course, they may make you money for a certain period of time but are not long-term and passive.

You always need to look out for ways to make money that are passive. You need to earn money every month and double it. Here are my top creative ideas to make money online. These real methods have worked in past and will work now and then too.

Freelancing

You would have heard a lot of this from others. But yes, this is the first best way to earn some cash before starting out your business. It will help to get some extra money into your pocket as well as fund a little for your software if you are starting out. You can start freelancing with no investment upfront. It's FREE. You can make money online freelancing.

Don’t worry if you think you don’t have any skills. You can learn small skills by taking a free trial in skillshare. There are tons of gigs people are looking for to get their work done and with the right process, you can make money as a freelancer.

By the year 2027, freelancers are projected to make up the majority of the workforce in the United States, with 50.9% of the working population. In fact, at the current growth rate, it’s estimated that 67.6 million Americans will be freelancing by the end of 2021. That’s 42% of the American workforce! (Website planet).

What are you waiting for? Search in-demand gigs on google keywords and search trends. And yes, patience is the key. You need to wait a few weeks while you get your first gig. Start promoting your services on social media and find your spot.

Starting a Blog

As of 2021, there are more than 570 million blogs on the internet, based on activities reported by WordPress, Tumblr, Blogger, Wix, Squarespace, and Medium (and this number is constantly growing) (firstsiteguide).

Now do not get overwhelmed, the one thing is though blogs are growing rapidly, and so are people reading blogs. Of course, blogs are saturated, but when you niche down and find your audience then you can achieve your space in this sea of bloggers.

Starting a blog, yesterday, today, tomorrow, is possible as long as you are using proper rules, like optimizing your SEO, giving unique content to your readers, and more. But, the best day to start blogging for your profit is today and now.

Let us look at some stats on why you should start your blog today

61% of online shoppers in the US say they made a purchase after getting a recommendation from a blog post

Companies that blog actively have 126% better lead growth

80% of bloggers say that they see positive business results from their blogging efforts

Blogs affect customers’ buying decisions as 47% of them go through 3 to 5 blog posts before the buying process (Firstsiteguide)

Give me a better reason why you should not start a blog after these mind-blowing facts.

You can start a niche blog, review blog, cooking blog, gaming blog, parenting blog, and more. Just write what you know or keep an eye on your competitors and outperform them. And blogging is the best for your long-term passive income.

Starting a YouTube channel

Now as we’ve known how YouTube has evolved to be like a video search engine, the platform has grown considerably and is been growing millions of YouTubers.

Again, let’s talk about some statistics about YouTube. YouTube has 2.3 billion users worldwide.

79 percent of Internet users have their own YouTube account.

YouTube viewers watch over a billion hours of video on the platform every day and generate billions of views. (YouTube, 2021)

YouTube is localized in more than 100 countries and is available in 80 languages. (YouTube, 2021)

Every day people watch one billion hours of video on YouTube (source-Oberlo)

Now, the real question is how to make money out of YouTube? Well, there is enough space for you to sink in. Are you a coach, fitness enthusiastic, a person with good communication, or even just an individual with no skills at all? You can make videos, monetize your YouTube account, and earn from AdSense and affiliate marketing.

Umm! Some people may say that YouTube is not for me. I don’t know how to make and produce videos. I don’t have any skills. Well, I have a solution for that. You can make money from YouTube absolutely by not showing your face at all.

Here are some of the niches you can make videos y not showing your face.

If u do not want to record videos, you can head up to free stock videos or images and give a voice-over and start making content.

If you feel shy to start, you will never get ahead. So, the one thing I want to tell to everyone who is shy to make videos and for my younger self, stop doubting yourself. Just do it, don’t care about criticism, success will follow you

Affiliate Marketing

Affiliate marketing is when a person earns a commission for referring a product to others. For eg: You register yourself as an affiliate to promote certain products, when the person you promote the product click on your unique affiliate link and purchases through your link you earn a commission. A commission can range for each and every product.

And the affiliate marketing model is the best, safe model for beginners. You can drive traffic for free and for paid as well. You can be an affiliate marketer if you need a passive income, you don’t need to have any other customer support, you can work from home at your own comfort.

Now, how to register as an affiliate. First, think of what do you like the most. What products do you love using? Type the name in google and see whether there is an affiliate program or just see other affiliate programs in your niche. Choose the one you love so that you don’t feel tired and exhausted in the long run.

There are many other sites where you can choose your products from. You can take products from Click bank, Digistore24, Share a Sale, Jvzoo, and similar other platforms.

Here are the best affiliate platforms for you to choose from

How do you want to promote is the next question?

Well, you can create landing pages in click funnels, kartra, or builderall and promote them through ads. If you are on your budget, you could start a blog and promote it. You can write blogs for free on medium.com. It is a cost-effective way to sell your products. You can create a YouTube channel, talk about how you love using those products, and promote them, you could even use Pinterest to promote your blogs and landing pages.

We all know that Pinterest is a visual search engine and no doubt you can get quite a good sale from affiliate marketing in Pinterest

Once you get your first sale and testimonials you can start your Instagram page and build trust with others to promote the products and scale your business.

Instagram Influencer

Do you love making TikTok videos, always want to be active on social media? Then here is your chance to start earning being an Instagram influencer.

You can start by creating content about the topic you want to talk about the most. If creating a YouTube channel feels a bit challenging, grow your audience and monetize them through Instagram. Feel free to talk about what you feel.

Collect your follower's email IDs. Once you become consistent with the audience and platform, the content you are generating makes a digital course or something you think to monetize your people. Giveaway a lot of freebies, checklists, and many other things to lead your audience to the product you are offering. Build trust with them and try to use all of Instagram's available channels. Use carousals, reels, IGTV, go live to show behind the scenes of your work, and more!.

Staying consistent is the key to grow your audience on Instagram.

Starting a T-Shirt Business

Whether you’re an artist, writer, designer, or entrepreneur, physical products can be the perfect canvas for monetizing your creativity. Yes, you heard that right. You can start your own merch for free. Starting an online T-shirt business is booming in this era an why don’t you be one of them. You do not need to hold any inventory, just design your t-shirt online and publish it.

Let me make it clear. So what is print on demand? How to start your free t-shirt business

Print on demand is a process where you work with a supplier to customize white-label products (like baseball hats or tote bags) with your own designs to sell them on a per-order basis under your own brand.

That means you don’t pay for the product until after you’ve actually sold it, so there’s no need to buy in bulk or hold any inventory yourself.

Plus, with print-on-demand services, everything after the sale, from printing to shipping, is handled by your supplier. Once you’ve set everything up, it takes only a few clicks to fulfill an order once you’ve made a sale.

You can use print-on-demand services to:

Test a business idea or new product line for an existing business without the risks that come with buying inventory.

Monetize an audience you’ve built. Printing on demand is a great option if you’re a YouTuber, cartoonist, or social media influencer who wants to spend your time creating content instead of fulfilling orders.

Create original products for a niche of customers. For example, apparel for people who are passionate about gaming.

Easily print one-off items—t-shirts, books, shoes, bags, wall art, phone cases, clocks, laptop skins, mugs, and so much more. You can send these as gifts or keep them for yourself and your team (source-Shopify)

You can get started with print on demand for almost free with teespring, redbubble, printful . Or you can start your online store on Shopify and sell them as a custom branding.

Do not worry if you are not a pro in graphic designing. You can design your t-shirt on canva and paste the design on your t-shirt too. This is a legitimate and easy business for beginners online. You can promote your merch by using SEO, keywords, and various social platforms.

Let's take a look at the print on demand statistics:

This statistic depicts the market value of the custom t-shirt printing market worldwide from 2016 to 2025. In 2016, the global custom t-shirt printing market was valued at 1.16 billion U.S. dollars, and was forecast to reach a value of 3.1 billion U.S. dollars by 2025.

This is insane amount the industry is making from print-on-demand only.

COVID-19 impact Fabric face mask accounted for 11.14% of all goods sold through Printify in September 2020. (Printify)

A 2020 survey revealed that about 96% of millennials and Gen Z have concerns about how the ongoing pandemic will impact the economy. (BigCommerce)

With more people staying at home and focusing on home improvement projects, the Home & Living category is on the rise, with the first 6 months of 2020 seeing a 243.77% growth. Both canvas gallery wraps (2.19%) and premium vertical posters (1.35%) are in TOP15 products sold by Printify merchants. (Printify)

According to Merkle’s report in 2020, roughly 79% of consumers plan to be more conservative with how much they will spend shopping online during the pandemic. (Merkle)

In the first 6 months of 2020, Printify monthly active users have grown by 69%, with registrations up 39%. (Printify)

62% of sellers in the United Kingdom changed their marketing plan because of the pandemic. Moreover, only 14 percent of businesses have decided to stick with their original marketing strategy for 2020. (Statista) ( All sources- Printify) Read more at: https://printify.com/ecommerce-statistics/ And these are just stats alone. Don’t wait now. Start your print-on-demand business right away.

Online Tutoring

Again, online tutoring is gaining massive demand in this digital age. During the pandemic the online tutoring business was a boom and it will be more in the coming years. Just teach people what you know. There are many people in this world who want to learn and are ready to pay for it.

Whether you know to speak English, or drawing, graphic designing, marketing, business, or anything that matters, turn your own skill into a business

You can tutor in paid platforms like cambly, Oakary, iTutor, or just start teaching in YouTube and create tour own course and sell it. You can create courses and teach in udemy too. People all over the world are searching to learn skills and may be you can teach them what you know and monetize your skills.

Amazon KDP [ Selling E-books and low content books ]

As I told you print on demand is a big thing and so does amazon KDP is too. What is KDP? Amazon KDP is nothing but kindle direct publishing. KDP allows you to self-publish eBooks and paperbacks for free. Amazon gives you direct access to your book on Amazon and allows you to create a product detail page for your book. It also gives you the option to expand your book’s availability on a global scale, making it more accessible for readers around the world. Publishing with KDP gives you full rights to your book, which is not something a traditional publishing house typically allows.

What types of content can I publish through KDP?

KDP allows you to publish eBooks (Kindle) and paperback books. However, KDP does not allow the creation of magazines, periodicals, or spiral-bound books.

Content types typically published using KDP include but are not limited to the following:

Novels

Book Series

Children’s Books

Comics

Cookbooks

Journals

Poetry

Textbooks (source: amazon.com)

Selling Photography

Are you a photographer? Are you making enough money? If no then this will help you , if yes you are gonna make an extra dime.

You can sell your beautiful photos on Getty Images, Pexels, Shutterstock, Adobe Stock and many more sites and earn money whenever your image is downloaded. If it is a subscription-based site then your earnings will be more. You can post your beautiful images on Instagram and become famous. Ultimately you can collaborate with various brands for their product photography.

If your camera is lying there near you, take it and start clicking pictures and sell your photos online.

Selling on Etsy

Etsy is an online market place that works as an intermediary between customers and artists, crafters of handmade items or collectors of vintage products. The company engages in customer to customer (C2C) or peer to peer (P2P) e-commerce in which both the seller and the buyer are private individuals or micro-businesses. This is in contrast to other forms of internet commerce such as B2C or B2B (source: Statista).

Let's head to our facts about how profitable it is to sell on Etsy

Etsy had over 2.5 million sellers at the end of 2019, and we can only expect that this number has increased.

Etsy sellers live all over the world, in 234 countries

62% of Etsy sellers are based in the US.

California is home to the most Etsy sellers with 14% of US-based Etsy shops. (credits: veeqo)

Etsy is a huge commerce platform, with an especially strong US presence. Plus, the fact that most sellers are multi-channel retailers—and also selling their products on marketplaces like Amazon and Shopify sites—suggests that the platform isn’t just for amateur makers. It’s for eCommerce businesses.

So if you’re already selling handmade or vintage products on another platform, it’s worth it to expand and start selling on Etsy.

If you’re starting a business, it’s important to run the numbers before setting up shop—or at least quitting your day job. Etsy does have associated costs, though it’s worth noting that the listing and transaction fees are lower than other platforms, like Amazon and eBay. (cre: veeqo)

So, if you can start your print on demand you can sell it on Etsy too. If you are good at handicrafts Etsy is the best place to promote.

Conclusion

So here are the top 10 ways where in you can make legitimate money online. You can try all these methods one by one. Well, everyone will look for quick methods to make money online, but those won’t suffice for long run.

If you should build a strong business online you need to stay consistent no matter what. Staying consistent will help audience grow along with you on your journey to make money online. For beginners starting out these methods will help you in starting out to make a dime or two.

One thing I need to make particular is you will not see results instantly. You need to try and try, keep on trying. Whether it is 2 weeks, 1 month or 3 months, you should not stop. Keep up that grind and let’s start the digital lifestyle. Start by making money online fore free with these methods and start investing in ads and make the business run for you in long run.

[yslkook]

#deep dive (11)

#corporate masterlist summary: you receive some surprising news at work and you and jungkook go on your first mini-trip together in tokyo. word count: 11.2k warnings: cursing, alcohol, smut, a fight, discussions of mental health smut warnings- handjob, blowjob, fingering, guided masturbation, penetrative sex, overstimulation, a lil crying, excessive use of pet names lol a/n: another chapter that got away from me... our couple is moving along ladies!! as always ty @cutechim for ur inspiring enthusiasm!!

Surprisingly, after your outburst at work, you hadn’t been reprimanded at all. Despite being nervous to show your face to your boss and your coworkers, there was apparently no need to be nervous.

Because your boss was out on “leave”. Which, as Seokjin and Namjoon had informed you, was really just a way for the senior leaders to tell your boss and his boss to get their shit together.

Much more aggressively, of course. 

You’re surprised to see your boss’s office empty and his boss’s office empty as well. And then guilt begins to seep into your bones- had you gotten them fired? It was hard enough to land a job these days, and had you done that to them?

Jungkook catches your forlorn gaze and squeezes your hand subtly as he walks with you to your cubicle. Your side of the floor is relatively quiet today, as many people were out of the office or working from home.

He sits with you in the chair in your cubicle and pulls his laptop out to do some work on this breezy morning. You quite like these impromptu working sessions with him- even if you’re (halfway) in love with him, you both know where to raise the lines of professionalism.

But you hold his hand for a second longer, and he squeezes once more.

“What if I got them fired,” You whisper, careful to keep your voice low.

“Even if they did get fired, they deserve it. For creating a toxic workplace environment,” Jungkook says, so full of conviction that you almost believe it.

“Okay,” You say uncertainly, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” He murmurs, giving you a sweet, bunny smile, “I’m sure.”

You nod, sighing heavily. “I’ll book a conference room, can you ping Sana and let her know we have to finish those deliverables for the workshop in August? So Namjoon can get his eyes on it…”

“Can’t believe it’s already May,” Jungkook mumbles, shaking his head, “Fucking crazy.”

“I know, right?” 

You pack up your laptop and your notebook in your bag and gesture for Jungkook to follow you to the conference room. He walks behind you, wanting to catch a glimpse of the way your dark green pencil skirt hugs your hips and your ass.

Nice.

Midway through your working meeting with Sana and Jungkook, you receive a ping from Hae-Ri herself. Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you when you stop speaking mid-sentence, your eyebrows furrowed in perplexity.

“Uh, I gotta step out for a few minutes. Can you two finish this off in the meantime?” You ask, pulling your green blazer on shoving your laptop in your bag.

“Yeah, I think we’re almost done anyway,” Sana says, eyeing you and Jungkook with suspicious eyes. She’s long suspected something was going on with you both. She’s not blind to the not so discreet heart eyes you both send each other, but she assumes you both are keeping whatever it is a secret.

Jungkook sends you a text right away. You tell him Hae-Ri asked to speak with you and that you’ll text him later.

Your heart is in your throat as you walk the two minutes to her corner office with a view but you keep your face as neutral as possible.

She’s already ushering you inside and closing the door behind her, telling you to take a seat.

“Do you want coffee or tea or water?” Hae-Ri asks, pouring herself a large cup of coffee.

“No, I’m okay, thanks,” You say, straightening your back as you try to calm your racing heart.

She sits in her big, fancy leather office chair (it looks like it costs more than the outfit on your skin) and she just looks at you, with her unnerving eyes. You say nothing, only meeting her gaze with the same intensity.

Hae-Ri breaks your impromptu staring contest first with a wide grin. 

“So,” She starts.

“So…”

“Do you know why I asked you to come in here?”

You bite your tongue, wanting to ask her “how would I know why you called me in here” but you refrain. “No…”

“Being the head of business development means that I have visibility to everything,” Hae-Ri says matter of factly, “And I’m sure you know that Namjoon and Seokjin sing your praises every chance they can.

“The reason I called you in here is because there’s an opening for a new team that’s gonna be managed under both Hyo-Jin and I. It’ll be a hybrid approach for managing new products, submissions and being part of the business strategy. The position would have a direct line to Hyo-Jin but a dotted line to me. And we think you would be a great fit for it. It’s an associate director level position…”

Associate director? You can’t help your jaw from dropping, that’s three levels up from your current position. It’s a promotion on top of a promotion.

Holy shit. Nobody’s ever recognized you in this way. You swallow a ball of emotion down your throat- of course, you complain about work, about your shitty boss. But never in your wildest dreams, could you have imagined that two of the heads in this area would recognize and recommend you.

“It’s a lot to think about and consider. The position will be posted on the internal career portal in about three weeks to a month. It’ll be a challenge, but I think you’re up to the task. Of course, there is no pressure if you choose not to apply. But talent and leadership should not go unrecognized.”

When you tell Jungkook what Hae-Ri said to you in the safety of your car, he’s far more excited than you are. He kisses your cheeks, your forehead, your lips and you can’t help but laugh at his antics.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” Jungkook breathes, “About time these people got their shit together-”

“It’s a lot to think about,” You muse, “A promotion of three levels? That hardly ever happens…”

“That just shows how incredibly amazing my hot, sexy, girlfriend is,” Jungkook says, earning himself a swat of his shoulder by your hand, “And it shows how shitty your boss was to let you fly under the radar for this long.”

You give him a small smile. “I have a few weeks to think about it before it gets posted. Hae-Ri said it should be up in mid-June…”

“We gotta celebrate,” Jungkook insists, dropping another kiss to your glossy lips. You laugh, feeling a little giddy along with him.

“It’s not premature?”

“We’re only celebrating the mere possibility.”

“Okay,” You nod, “Let’s go for drinks tonight with our friends? But can we just keep it between us? I don’t want to jinx anything.”

“Yeah, it can be our secret for now,” Jungkook winks, his hoops shaking as he laughs with you, “Stay the night tonight?”

“Maybe, I’ll see if Grandma is okay,” You murmur and Jungkook nods. A squeal (one that you’ll later deny) leaves your lips when Jungkook pulls you into his lap and presses kisses up and down the column of your neck.

“Now lemme show my girl how proud I am of her.”

It’s another night, a warm sticky night in June, where Jungkook stays over your house for the weekend. You don’t like leaving Grandma alone, despite her insistence that you have your own life. Jungkook understands, and it was actually him who had suggested spending the weekend at your place.

Your heart flutters at the thought of him. He had a late Friday meeting and had told you he’d meet you at your house around seven or eight that evening, and had subtly squeezed your hand in your cubicle in goodbye.

That was a few hours ago, and Jungkook had texted you letting you know that he was on his way. He had stopped by to bring flowers, a bottle of wine and some pastries for you and Grandma. They were Grandma’s favorites.

Grandma had insisted on making dinner for you and Jungkook, despite your protests. Your favorite aromas linger in the air and you contemplate having a few bites before Jungkook even arrives. You try to reach for a piece of mandu but Grandma swats your hand away, admonishing you for trying to eat before your boyfriend and guest even arrived.

Boyfriend. What a strange word.

A series of knocks. You eagerly step towards the front door, ignoring Grandma’s not so quiet snicker. 

“Hi,” You breathe out, feeling a little flustered. As if you hadn’t just seen him a few hours ago at work.

“Hi, sweet girl,” Jungkook says with a small upturn of his lips and you press a chaste kiss to his lips. It surprises him, how often you kiss him in front of Grandma. Even if they are quick, chaste kisses.

“You gonna invite him in or just stand there and let him get cold?” Grandma says from the dining room, peering over to you both with a hand on her hip.

“Yeah, you gonna let me get cold?” Jungkook asks with a wink and you groan. They always tag team you, but you don’t mind. In fact, you love it. You love that your boyfriend and your only remaining member of your family get along.

You pull him inside and take his bag from him, finally seeing the flowers, bottle of wine and box in his arms. 

“What’s all this?” You ask with widened eyes, “You didn’t have to, Jungkook…”

He always brings something when he comes over, and you always say those words to him. 

“His parents raised him better than to come to someone’s house empty handed,” Grandma says in approval, making Jungkook’s heart soar. Whenever Grandma gives an inclination that she likes him, it makes him smile. It’s endearing. You rub his cheek with your thumb affectionately and he scrunches his nose at your touch.

“I’ll go put your stuff upstairs,” You murmur, rubbing his back warmly and leaving him with Grandma. Jungkook pulls the sleeves of his sweater to his elbows to help Grandma put the food on the dining table, and your heart constricts at how well he fits with you in your cozy home.

You return to find three glasses of wine filled and a plate already set for you across from Jungkook. 

“Food’s so good, Grandma,” Jungkook moans, after nearly inhaling his entire plate. And then some.

“No thanks to your girlfriend,” Grandma snorts and shoots you a teasing smile when you protest loudly.

“Hey! You insisted!” 

You pout at both of them when they laugh at your expense, but their laughter makes you smile. Grandma asks Jungkook how work is going, how his family is. You only smile fondly at both of them, taking a backseat from the conversation. It amazes you, how quickly he’s taken to Grandma. You thought it would’ve taken a little more to pull him out of his shell. But he surprises you, as he usually does.

You clear the table and pour another glass of wine for you and Jungkook, who’s turning on your television to browse what movies or shows are available for watching. 

You sit next to him after dimming the lights, careful with the two glasses of wine. He’s careful about touching you, not wanting to offend or make you or Grandma uncomfortable. 

It’s endearing. You only smile at him, pulling the blankets up to cover you both and lean your head on his shoulder. He tenses up immediately, wanting to reluctantly move away from your touch but you squeeze his forearm in reassurance.

Grandma says nothing as she watches you both, only casting a knowing look to Jungkook. 

His cheeks flush at her gaze and he sinks deeper under the blankets, hiding his warm cheeks from Grandma. Grandma only chuckles to herself and you’re oblivious to both of them, eyes focused on the movie.

Grandma had long gone to bed, and you and Jungkook are cuddled under the blankets. Jungkook watches the movie raptly, oblivious to your stolen glances and almost touches. You sigh, wrapping an arm around his bicep and nosing at his neck. You absently push his hair away from his eyes, the pads of your fingers dancing over his scalp. It takes a few moments of you nipping his neck, your lips wet and warm against his skin for him to turn his gaze to you.

“Can I help you?” Jungkook asks, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Yeah,” You breathe, “Let’s go to bed, baby.”

“But the movie,” Jungkook protests, his lips breaking into a wide smile at the furrow of your brow, “I’m only kidding. We can watch the movie in bed after all, right?”

You roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully but he acquiesces. 

You get through all of ten minutes of the movie once you settle in between his legs in your bed. Jungkook’s chin is over your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist loosely. You wonder if he can hear your heart beating right out of your chest. He holds you so easily, as if he was always meant to fit between the spaces of your body.

You’ve changed into your pajamas, just a shirt and some shorts and Jungkook has as well. Into an oversized shirt and his boxers. 

Jungkook fully looks like your boyfriend, your baby, and it sends a wave of affection through you. Turning your head and shifting to look at him. His cut jaw calls for your attention and you press your lips there, to his neck and finally to his own lips.

“Can’t believe you’re mine,” You mumble, running your fingers through his dark hair.

“Are you mine?” Jungkook asks, pressing his forehead to yours. A smart comment is on the tip of your tongue, but it disappears from your mind quickly. The way he’s looking at you, as if you hold all of his warmth, makes you curl further into him and drop another kiss to his lips.

“Yes,” You exhale and your cheeks heat up when you pluck the courage to run a hand over his chest. Jungkook finds your shyness endearing- for someone a little rough around the edges, he’s not surprised at your softness.

“Baby,” Jungkook murmurs, the term of affection still making your heart lurch, “You can touch, sweet girl. ‘M all yours.”

You swallow, a little nervously. “Me too,” You say softly, “Want you to touch me, baby.” You lean your head on his shoulder, tugging him down to you and meet his lips eagerly. You deepen the kiss quickly, a moan slipping out of your mouth without realizing. You could kiss him for hours, the soft feel of his smooth lips against yours is addicting. Flurries of butterflies erupt in your belly when he nips your bottom lip playfully and you moan again, the sound shooting straight through Jungkook.

He pulls away for a breath, looking at you with hooded eyes. You’re about to dip your head for another kiss but he ducks his head to plaster his lips to your neck. The wetness of his tongue slides along the column of your neck, before he gently kisses you behind your ear. If you were standing, your knees would have buckled surely. Jungkook cups your face gently, rubbing your cheek as he buries his face in your neck.

“Jungkook,” You breathe and he coaxes an unexpected moan from your throat when he sucks and soothes your collarbones.

Jungkook pulls away with reddened lips and you immediately push your lips to his without missing a breath. He’s itching to let his hands roam, to squeeze and hike your shirt up around your waist before peeling it off altogether.

You run your tongue over his bottom lip teasingly and press your chest flat against his. He’s been so patient with you, taking it as slow as you had needed to. Jungkook has been following your lead this whole time, not wanting to overwhelm you. But you’ve been ready for him to take the lead and teach you. The last thing he wants to do is make you feel pressured.

And honestly, all Jungkook wants to do is make you feel good. And learn what you like and don’t like. He doesn’t think you even know what you like. He has a feeling of a few things that he is excited to explore with you.

Jungkook is not surprised when you take his hand and pull it under your shirt. The pads of his fingertips, brush lightly against your sides. You gasp at the sudden spark of his hands against your skin and impatiently slide up against him for more friction.

His hands are so big, so much bigger than your own, dotted in tattoos. You can hardly believe these are the hands that are squeezing you so gently and adoringly. But you’re impatient, and you pull your sleep shirt up and off of your frame to toss it to the side.

You want more. You want more of him and you don’t want slow. You want soft, but you’re ready for something a little more.

“My pretty girl,” Jungkook purrs, thumbs flitting over your tits, “Does my pretty girl want somethin’?”

“Just want you,” You mumble.

“Tell me,” Jungkook murmurs, fingers tracing over your tattoos with a featherlight touch.

“Want you to touch me,” You nearly whine, and he grins in satisfaction. One of these days, he’ll teach you what it means to beg. But not today. He palms your breasts, moaning into your neck just at the feel of your soft flesh in his hands. 

The sight of his tattooed hands on yours, his tattooed arms around you sends another bolt of arousal down your spine.

Your eyes close of their own volition when he pinches your nipple, a silent sound caught in your throat. And then his pliant mouth replaces his fingers, warm breath fanning over your chest. Arousal shoots down your spine and you squeeze your legs together without realizing it. 

It’s clear that he knows what he’s doing- not that you had any doubt in your mind about that. He’s told you that he’s had two serious girlfriends in college and the beginning of graduate school. You’re certain there were hookups in between and after. 

Your hips buck up, grinding into the air as you squirm in his arms. “Stay still,” Jungkook murmurs. You can’t help it, not really. But you try to listen anyway. “Open your eyes,” He coaxes you.

When you meet his eyes, they’re slick with desire and adoration. For you.

“Good girl,” He says, his voice low. The low timber of his voice sends a shudder through you and your eyes widen. Jungkook’s lips twist into a smirk.

“Will you let me make you feel good?” Jungkook asks, his hand ghosting over your thighs. Your hips jump at the sensation and he squeezes your waist. You nod eagerly. “Tell me, baby,” He says, his lips leaving trails of kisses down your chest and your belly.

“Yes,” You gasp, “Jungkook, please-”

He gives you a bright, bunny smile and your heart skips a beat. Adjusting you so that your back is flat against his chest, he kisses the back of your neck. His touch is constant on you- your belly, your waist, your breasts.

Jungkook palms your clothed pussy and you gasp sharply at the buzzing sensation suddenly filling your head. You reach behind him to wrap your arm around his head and tug on his hair impatiently as he rubs against you with quicker paces. 

You wonder if he even knows what he’s doing to you. From the wetness staining your panties, he just might find out soon enough. 

“Show me how you touch yourself, baby,” Jungkook murmurs, his voice husky in your ear. You’re certain cotton is filling his brain, because there’s no way he just asked you that.

“What?” You ask, and Jungkook chuckles at your speechlessness.

“Didn’t hear me?” Jungkook says, “Show me how you touch yourself.”

You’re stunned into submission, peering up at him with hazy eyes. Keeping your eyes on him, you shrug out of your shorts and your underwear in one fell swoop, leaving you completely bare for his gaze. Goosebumps rise on your skin when he says nothing, only drinking you in with wide, thirsty eyes.

Jungkook swallows. “Fuck.”

“What?” You ask, beginning to panic at his lack of a reaction. You close your legs instinctively but he pushes your knees apart, giving him a view of your glistening folds.

“Had such a big crush on you in school,” Jungkook mutters, “You didn’t even know, baby. And now I get to see you like this. Because you gave us a chance.

“And you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” Jungkook says, tugging your jaw to him and dropping a deep kiss to your lips.

“Thought you wanted a show,” You quirk the corner of your lips up and he chuckles against your neck. His hands tighten around your waist, pulling you closer to him and you feel something hard poking at your ass.

It makes your stomach flip. You bring your knees up to your chest and spread your legs wider. Jungkook’s breaths are staggered in your ear and he squeezes your tits as your hands slide down your chest to your pussy. You rub your clit, your hips jolting immediately and Jungkook holds you steady. 

You tease yourself, your touch barely there as your clit throbs. “Look at you, pretty girl,” Jungkook murmurs. You circle your clit with your middle finger, gathering your wetness before Jungkook seizes your hand.

It appears he’s growing impatient, too.

His much longer fingers replace yours, the touch sending another bolt of electricity through you. You imagine what Jungkook’s fingers feel like against you almost all the time, but reality is so much better than your daydreams. He rubs you lazily and you whine, wanting him to go faster. You put your hand over his as he circles your clit.

You don’t even realize that you’re moaning and squirming, pushing back against his hard cock purposefully. “Be quiet, baby,” Jungkook whispers, nipping your earlobe, “Grandma’s only a few doors down…”

Jungkook makes you feel like you’re in your own world, thoughts filled with nothing but sinful honey and him. You whimper as he rubs your clit faster and faster, your thighs beginning to close to lock his fingers in place.

“Jungkook,” You moan, cheeks heating up at the pitchiness of your voice. Jungkook hums in response, only pressing his lips to your neck and his other hand to your chest. You push back against him harshly, back pressed into his chest as if you’re trying to mold yourself into him.

You writhe in his hold, not used to the feeling of his long, thick fingers rubbing your folds. Jungkook pushes a finger into your throbbing pussy once you’re slick and you shiver, a broken sort of noise escaping your lips. Your moans are loud, and Jungkook is pleased but he presses his lips to yours to swallow your soft noises.

Your grip around his wrist is tight, as if to tether yourself to him. “Hey,” Jungkook says softly, nipping at your earlobe again, “Look, baby. Watch me, look how your pussy was made for me. You’re so wet, sweet girl…”

Glancing down to where his fingers were gliding in and out of your wetness easily, you let out another choked noise. He slips another finger into your pussy and you let out a shuddering gasp of his name, your nails digging into his wrist. The lewd sounds of his fingers in your wetness fills your bedroom and if you weren’t so consumed by thoughts of him, you might be almost embarrassed.

“Kook,” You mumble, your hips grinding into his touch to feel as much of him as you can, “Kook, feels so good…” You snake a hand behind you to sink into his dark hair and tug lightly, pulling a soft groan from him.

“Good girl,” Jungkook murmurs, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses down the column of your neck, “My good girl, my dream girl-”

Another rush of wetness floods his fingers at his words and he smirks into your sweaty skin. Your ass is pressed up against his hardened cock, but he wants to make you feel good first. He can worry about himself later. He bucks his hips into your ass and you push back at the feel of his clothed cock against you.

Your thighs begin to shake, a coil beginning to snap in your belly. It’s more powerful than it’s ever been- your own fingers had never brought you to the edge like this.

“You’re close, right?” Jungkook nearly slurs, high off of the sound of your noises, “My pretty girl’s gonna cum all over my fingers?”

You tug his hair harder and nod furiously, hips still bucking into his fingers. It only takes a few more rubs of your clit and pumps of his fingers for you to gasp and arch your back off of his chest. Jungkook immediately plasters his lips to yours to silence the sound of you cumming.

He’ll have to hear them fully. He needs to. But not tonight.

You pull away to gasp for air and your chest is heaving, eyes wide at the force of your orgasm from just his fingers alone. “Jungkook,” You mumble, wanting to see him. You turn in his hold, finally facing him and he’s just as lust blown as you.

You give him a lazy smile and wrap your arms around him, nosing at his neck. Before he can say anything to you, you roll your hips into his, meeting his clothed hardness. Jungkook drops his head against the headboard, groaning softly. His hands are planted firmly on your bare hips and you seemingly don’t mind that he’s fully clothed while you’re not.

“Rock with me, baby,” He murmurs, burying his face in your chest. Your legs are on either side of his hips and you comply easily, your breath hitching when he kisses marks soothingly over your breasts.

You wonder if you’re about to have the pleasure of seeing Jungkook cum again- it’s always beautiful, like the rest of him. Your hips feel like home to him, he squeezes and swats your ass gently. You only grin at him, pressing your forehead to his. His eyes nearly close in pleasure but he keeps them open, wanting to see you moving with him. A wet spot forms on his boxers from both of your arousals and he knows he’s about to cum soon-

And you do, too. 

“Y’r g’nna make me cum in my pants, like I’m fifteen,” Jungkook pants, eyes straining to stay open to watch you.

“Or like you’re twenty-one and you’re obsessed with your mentor,” You breathe, earning yourself a pinch to your waist, “Kook, ‘m close again…” You never cum this quickly after the first time. Jungkook brings out the best parts of you, it seems.

“Me too, baby,” He grunts into your skin, harshly covering your lips with his own. A spark blooms in your belly, slowly spreading and warming you up from within. It’s much slower and less intense than your first orgasm, but just as delicious. You’re sensitive as he rocks his hips into yours and you whine softly at the feeling.

You move to sit on his thigh and your hands shake for a moment before scratching his chest with your freshly done nails. Then his abs. Then his navel. 

“Can I?” You mumble.

“Can you what, baby?” Jungkook asks, amusement still in his eyes. You huff. He’s really going to make you say it.

“Wanna feel you, baby,” You murmur, meeting his eyes, “Wanna feel your cock in my hand-”

“‘M yours, pretty girl,” He replies easily, taking your wrist in his hand. You palm him from outside his boxers and you both groan- you from how big he is, and him from how warm your hand feels against him.

You shyly dip your hand down the waistband of his boxers but he stops you for a second. He wordlessly moves you from his thigh to the bed to slip out of his boxers so that he’s bare to you as well. After all, it’s only fair.

You can’t stop the soft gasp that leaves your lips or the way that your eyes zero in on his leaking cock. He’s so big in your hands and you can’t help but lick your dry, parched lips. Your cheeks are warm and for once, you have nothing to say- no quip, no snarky remark. 

You tug on his shirt impatiently- how had you allowed him to be wearing clothes for this long? Pulling his shirt off of him and tossing it to the floor, you allow yourself the luxury of letting your hands roam his honeyed skin. He’s somehow both cut and soft, tight and supple.

Despite the number of times you’ve seen him like this, you can never get used to it. Even if it’s not the first time his cock is hot and heavy in your hands, you can’t help but trace his tattoos with your free hand and feel a little in over your head.

“Kook,” You murmur, curling close into his side and drawing your knees up to your chest, “Baby, teach me.”

Jungkook groans, the sincerity in your voice making his stomach flip. He takes your hand and squeezes before guiding you to the tip of his reddened cock. You experimentally palm his cock, smearing his leaking pre-cum over his cock and he gasps, burying his face in your shoulder.

You stroke him slowly, watching and listening for his breaths. They’re heavy against your skin and he tightens his grip around your waist, trying to melt into you. 

“Faster, baby,” Jungkook says, his voice wrecked, “‘m so close-”

You pump him faster in your hands, making sure to be gentle with your grip. Jungkook looks down, marvelling at how big he looks in your hands. 

“Am I doing okay, Jungkook?” You whisper, dark eyes wide and unsure. With hooded eyes, he groans and kisses you, and you feel his moans vibrating through your body. He’s so close- he can feel himself starting to come undone, and with another few pumps, he comes all over your hand. Some of his cum splatters on his belly but he pays it no mind, only focusing on regulating his breaths. Without thinking, you lick at the tips of your fingers and swallow the little bit of his cum that landed on your hands. 

“I’ll go get a tissue to clean you up,” You whisper, searching for your shirt. When you find it, you stand up on shaky legs, only for him to yank you back towards the bed.

“Jungkook,” You scold lightly, and he presses his face into your belly.

“You believe me when I say you’re my dream girl,” Jungkook murmurs, ignoring your noise of protest. He looks up at you with bright, sparkling eyes. You swallow nervously, unable to handle the sudden bubbling of adoration you hold for this man.

“Put your boxers on, Jeon,” You mumble, pushing yourself off of him. You hear him laugh fondly. He knows you too well, he knows you’re repeating his words in your head. You emerge from the bathroom, looking a little unsure but still determined. Your hands tremble a little as you attempt to clean him up and he covers your hand with his own to guide you. Jungkook watches you flit around the room before standing up and tugging his boxers on.

He stands up and wraps his arms around your waist, his hands dipping under your shirt. Being in his arms immediately calms you down in gentle waves. He’s become such a calming pillar, a welcomed force in your life. You don’t think even your wildest, most romantic dreams could have ever conjured up someone like him.

Maybe he’s your dream boy, too.

Jungkook drops a kiss to your cheek, walking you back to the bed and laying you on top of it. He pulls the covers up over both of you and is half on top of you. You lean in for a kiss, stars shining in your eyes as you look at him. His legs tangle with yours when he meets your lips and pulls you in close.

“Goodnight,” You whisper when you pull away, “I think you’re my dream boy that I didn’t know I was dreamin’ about.”

With that, you turn your head so he doesn’t see how flustered you are. Your cheeks meet the cool material of your pillow and you pretend not to hear his low chuckle. He only squeezes your waist and murmurs a soft ‘goodnight’ to you.

You’d submitted your application for the associate director position that Hae-Ri had recommended you to apply to. You’d already had the first round of interviews, with the person who would be your direct manager and with Hae-Ri herself. And then you had another interview with Hyo-Jin.

You felt at ease and it felt more like a conversation than an actual interview. Which Jungkook and Jin tell you is because you made the smart decision to get to know them both months ago, before you decided you wanted a shift in your career.

But then Hae-Ri dropped the bombshell on you after the series of interviews. To be in the position, she recommended you finish your masters program at the graduate school you dropped out of (or any grad school that had the same degree). She said the company would pay for it and you could do it while you worked.

But still. It left a sour, angry taste in your mouth.

Jungkook knows, somewhere in the back of his mind. That the words that are about to spill out of his mouth are going to upset you. But he says them anyway, because he thinks you need to hear them-

“If Hae-Ri said that she had a spot for you if you went back to school while working for her,” Jungkook says slowly, “Then isn’t it a no brainer? Your boss sucks, you complain about him and you deserve-”

“Back to school?” You scoff, “Everyone’s gonna be so much younger than me-”

“What does that matter? It’s just a year, and you’ll have your masters degree! Yeah, it’ll be hard to do it with work but you can-”

“I don’t wanna go back!” You exclaim (maybe a little childishly), and cross your arms over your chest. Annoyance seeps into you and you try your best not to get irritated at Jungkook. You know there is truth in his words but you don’t want to hear it just yet.

You’re not ready to face school again. You’re not ready to be at the same place that you had found out Appa had passed away. You’re not ready. Or are you?

“Why not! You don’t need to go back right away, Hae-Ri said-”

“I know what she said,” You say sharply, pinching the bridge of your nose with your brows furrowed, “You don’t need to repeat to me what she said, Jungkook.”

“I don’t understand,” Jungkook says flatly.

You start to notice his eyes losing its usual warmth, reminding you of the days when he would look at you so coldly.

You shiver. He instinctively reaches for you and you let him hold you close for a minute.

But the words come tumbling out of you, your cheeks blazing and ears burning, before you can stop them. 

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” You mutter and he drops his hand from your waist as if he’s been burned.

Ice crawls through your veins, dousing you in something cold and unforgiving. You’re hurting him (again), and you can’t stop yourself. You can hardly stand yourself.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jungkook whispers, looking a little lost and a little heartbroken.

“It means you wouldn’t understand being too unable to take care of yourself to go to school,” You say, eyes narrow and jaw steeled, “It means everything’s come easy to you, Jungkook- fucking school, this fucking job-”

“That’s not fucking fair,” Jungkook says with a frown, “You’re deflecting and you’re being mean-”

You laugh. Mirthlessly. The hollowness seeping into your eyes makes Jungkook’s skin crawl.

“That’s me, baby. All I’m good at is deflecting and being mean. You haven’t caught on yet?”

“Stop,” Jungkook says firmly, hurt seeping into his voice as he levels his watery gaze at you, “You’re pushing me away. Stop it, baby.”

“Am I wrong?” You sneer, pressing your nails into your biceps. It hurts. You’re hurting him, it’s hurting you and you can’t stop running your mouth. You can’t stop the acid on your tongue or the daggers in your eyes.

You’re reacting this way just from the mere mention of going back to school. Pathetic.

“You have an opportunity to move ahead and you’re being stubborn about it because you don’t want to go back to school? I’m sure there are a lot of fucking hard memories associated with grad school but don’t take that out on me for wanting better for you,” Jungkook says coldly. While his eyes are icy, you still see the shine of unshed tears in them.

“I’m not being stubborn-”

“From all of this, that’s your response? That you’re not being stubborn?” Jungkook struggles not to raise his voice at you, feeling his chest burn with hurt.

“What else do you want me to say, Jungkook?” You throw your hands up in frustration, “I can’t make you understand-”

“I’m not telling you to make me understand,” Jungkook says, “I’m telling you to consider your future and your capabilities, you’re the one who fucking complains about work all the time-”

“Oh, well, sorry that we can’t be everyone’s fucking golden boy at work-”

“If you’re not gonna do anything about it, then don’t fucking complain-”

“Seriously? I can’t complain to my boyfriend now?”

“You’re missing the point, baby,” Jungkook sighs in irritation, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I can’t talk to you right now, not when you refuse to listen, and when you’re being spiteful.”

“W-what? What does that mean?” You say, nearly all of the fire extinguished from your belly at his words. He starts to put his jacket on, unable to look you in the eyes because if he does, he knows he’ll cry.

“W-wait, Jungkook,” You mumble, tugging his hand but he pulls it back as if you’ve burned him again, “Baby-”

“I can’t-” He squeezes his eyes shut, not noticing a few tears leak out. Your heart breaks in front of you- clearly you were too wrapped up in your own spiral of defense to realize how much your words were hurting him. “I don’t wanna be around you right now. Not if you’re gonna hurt me like this.”

“I’m-”

“I know you didn’t mean it, but you said it for a reason,” Jungkook says. His words make you tear up. “We can talk when you figure out why.”

“Jungkook,” You mumble, wanting to touch him but afraid he’ll reject you again, “Wait, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

He looks at you long and hard, heart cracking a little bit at the sight of your sad eyes. But you did this and you need to figure out why you were so defensive over going back to school. He deserves better than you lashing out at him for the mere mention of it. He knows it and you know it.

Jungkook wants to kiss your tears away, but he’s hurting, too.

You want to ask for a kiss, for a text when he gets home. But you don’t, and he’s almost out of the front door before he turns on his heel and brushes his lips over your hair. 

You feel salty tears drop from your eyes with his touch as he leaves you with an unspoken ultimatum.

You end up texting Jungkook an hour after he left your house, just wanting to make sure he got home safely. It takes him ten minutes from when you sent the text for him to respond with a simple ‘yes’ and you’re too nervous to text him anything other than a simple ‘okay’.

You hold your head in your hands and groan to yourself, rubbing your temples. 

How could you say the things you said to him so easily, without regard for how it might hurt him? Just because the topic of school always set you off- and it always has for the last five years and change. No matter how much time has gone by, how far you’ve come in therapy… there’s always something.

You bury yourself under your covers and sniffle, finally letting yourself cry. A hole starts to unzip inside your chest and all you want to do is bury yourself in it. Your words to him, to the man who always has treated you with nothing but kindness and smiles, ring heavy in your ears.

He’s too good for you. He’s too good for you- he’s too golden and good for you. You’ll only bring him down, won’t you? With all of this baggage that he didn’t sign up for. There was no reason for you to verbally spit in his face like that.

His cold, hurt eyes are haunting. You can’t believe you put that look on his face. You’ve been on the receiving end of it because of your own actions too many times now.

It makes your heart ache and it makes you cry harder into your pillow. You don’t know how long it is that you lay there, but at some point, Grandma crawls into your bed with you and holds your head in her lap. She rubs your back as you cry and sniffle your heart out.

By the time Grandma gently coaxes you to tell her what happened, your chest hurts and your eyes are puffy and rimmed red. She only sighs and lays with you in silence, until she sighs again in that way that you know she’s going to voice her opinion to you.

“He only wants you to have a future that you deserve, even if that means confronting things you don’t want to confront,” Grandma says wisely, “Even if you don’t want to hear it for him.”

“I know. Shit, I know. I hurt him, I hurt him bad,” You mumble, fresh tears pooling in your eyes at the thought of his big, brown eyes looking at you in that heartbroken way.

Another forlorn sigh. “You can fix it. Just talk to him, sweetheart.”

“I know. I will. I don’t think he wants to talk to me right now. I think I should have a therapy appointment first,” You groan, rubbing your eyes, “I don’t know why the thought of school sets me off so easily. And Kook is the last person… I hate that I hurt him.”

“I think you know why the thought of school sets you off,” Grandma says, giving you a knowing look.

It takes you a few days of self reflection (and actively not spiraling into the very tempting black hole of self loathing) to finally understand your reaction to Jungkook suggesting you go back to school. 

It’s not like you haven’t had a similar explosive reaction before- Jin has always tiptoed about it with you. And Grandma has stopped bringing it up because you always shut down when the topic arises.

Perhaps now is a good time to examine why- after all, you’d only hurt your boyfriend’s feelings so much that he can barely stand to speak to you apparently. You both have been speaking normally, sharing chaste kisses when you can but you can tell he’s holding back a little, to give you both the space you need.

It’s only been a few days but you’re so sad without him. Knowing that you hurt him the way you did.

Jungkook feels like he overreacted a bit. He doesn’t want you to figure this out alone- he didn’t mean to just leave. But he couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand how… mean you were being. Mostly, he couldn’t stand how he knew you were doing it on purpose, to get him to drop the topic.

He hopes you can come to an understanding with yourself. But he wants you to lean on him when you need to as well.

So when you text him asking if you can come over later that evening, he immediately says yes.

You don’t text Jungkook when you arrive, only knocking at his door. He greets you with surprised eyes and pulls you inside immediately, pulling you into a tight hug right away.

He feels as if it’s been forever since he held you last.

“Hi, honey,” You mumble, feeling tired with longing, “These are for you.” 

It’s a bouquet of some of his favorite flowers, his favorite purples and pinks in your hands and he wants to kiss you in gratitude, but he follows your lead.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Jungkook replies and takes your bag after putting the flowers in a vase and takes your hand, leading you to his bedroom. You feel a little nervous, afraid of how much you might have hurt him. Afraid of what he thinks of you now.

But he pulls you into his arms and cradles your face in his hands, the tips of his fingers melting into the warmth of your skin. Your eyes well up with tears for no reason and it stuns you that this man affects you to this degree. Maybe you should be a little more surprised, but you’re not. Not really.

“Hi, baby,” He says quietly and your heart seizes. Jungkook says your name again and pulls you into his chest for another longer hug and you hum into the warmth of his torso. Your hands are hesitant, yearning to touch his arms, his chest, his face. But you have a lot you want to say before any of that so you pull away reluctantly and sit on his bed.

“C’mon, let’s lay,” Jungkook murmurs, pushing his black and grey duvet and squeezing your hand. You feel a little lightheaded but you follow his lead, relaxing in his embrace as he cuddles you from behind. His chin is hooked over your shoulder, arms tight around your waist, lips brushing over your neck. You hold his tattooed forearm, mindlessly drawing lines and circles over his skin.

“I have to say something,” You finally mumble after a few minutes and turn in his arms to face him. His touch is never too far, always around you- always gravitating to you and making you feel warm and safe.

“Okay,” Jungkook says, eyes wider than you’ve possibly ever seen him. You can’t help but want to kiss him, but you hold back. Just until you say what you need to say.

His hands are soothing over your back as he encourages you. So you tell him- you tell him how your last therapy appointment went. You tell him how you’ve reacted this way to anyone who bothered to bring school up to you whether it’s Jin or Grandma. You tell him how the thought of graduate school instantly takes you back to the day you were in class and you received a phone call from the hospital telling you that your father had passed away. 

You tell him how sometimes it feels like you’re living in a movie, a never-ending reel of the worst thing to happen in your near 30 years of life. But…

“It doesn’t feel so terrible these days,” You murmur, “It feels like an ache most times. But not as overwhelming as before… I think maybe I didn’t- I didn’t handle my grief in the best way. And it took me this long to realize it.

“You know, I started realizing it when I saw you that first day. In the office. When I was such a bitch to you-”

Jungkook stops the self-deprecating spill of your lips with a chaste kiss.

“You… you’ve changed me in a lot of ways, Jungkook. And I know we haven’t been together all that long,” You whisper, your voice choked and low, “I always want to be better for you, with you-”

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut as your throat closes up. This is hard for you, to bare your heart out like this. But if there’s anyone you want to be vulnerable for, it’s Jungkook.

“What I’m trying to say is… you’re right. I can’t keep living in the past when I have opportunities to be better and it’ll be hard work to dissect those feelings but… I want to do it. And I’m sorry for what I said, for taking all of that out on you. You didn’t deserve that-”

“I’m sorry, too,” Jungkook murmurs, surprising you, “For telling you that you shouldn’t complain. Of course you should complain. And I want to be the one you complain to. I’m sorry for just… leaving when you were clearly going through something.”

“Jungkook, no,” You shake your head and push his hair back, thumbs gentle over his cheeks, “If you need space from me or for anything… you never need to feel bad or guilty for that.”

“Okay,” He says almost shyly, “I know it must have been hard to talk about this. So, I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah, but… I want to make this work with you more than I’m afraid of facing those memories and fears. And just in general, I mean, I just want to try to be better. And you’re worth it, Koo-”

He holds your face in his hands, eyes drawn to yours- stars meeting stars and you sink into his sheets at the calm, welcoming fire in his gaze. His lips are on yours before you can blink, swallowing any potential noise of protest that might come out of your mouth.

It’s only been a few days but you missed Jungkook, you missed his warm smile, the heat of his hands, the comfort of his broad shoulders and the way he fits against you. His nose is pressed to your neck, large hands instantly floating under your shirt to feel as much of you as he can.

“Koo,” You mumble, pushing lightly at his chest, “Are we okay? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook mumbles, pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth. He tastes a bit like his mango chapstick (his current favorite). He leaves his lips near yours, pressing his cheek to yours as much as he can. You thread your fingers through his hair, dancing along his scalp and he sighs contentedly. “We’re okay and I’m okay. I wanna be here with you while we get through this together. Are you okay?”

You hum in agreement and wrap a leg around his waist, suddenly feeling very, very tired. His shirt is loose in your grip- he can tell how exhausted you are. Because he’s exhausted, too. Jungkook only holds you close under his covers and waits for your breaths to even out before falling asleep, too.

When August comes around, the final workshop for the big submission does, too. The last workshop will take place in Tokyo, which you’re excited about. Because you and Jungkook had decided to go to Tokyo to spend the weekend together. Meaning you’d be leaving on Friday evening to reach Tokyo around 9:30 PM.

You’d made sure Grandma would be okay, insisting that she call you or call Seokjin if anything happened. She scoffs at you but reassures you that she will. She says she’ll be spending most of her time with her close friends in the area, anyway.

You’ve only been dating Jungkook for four or five months now, and teetering on the edge of something more for maybe six months. You wonder if it feels too fast- the speed with which you open your bleeding heart up to him should scare you, but it doesn’t. It feels natural with him. 

You’ve both voiced your concerns to each other- fear that you were moving fast and would tire of each other. Or that you were moving too fast to properly assess your feelings.

But both of you agreed that you both felt comfortable and trusted each other enough to speak up if you were uncomfortable. So traveling together for a weekend didn’t feel terribly out of your comfort zone.

You were excited to be with him completely alone, too. Without the stress of work or Taehyung or Grandma to hear you.

Jungkook thinks you both need time alone, too. To see how you’d work as a pair. 

You’d taken it upon yourself to plan a few things around Tokyo for the weekend. You wanted to take him to a few places that Appa used to take you to. Maybe it was too much for a fresh relationship, but you want him to see the parts of you that grew up here, too.

You feel incredibly exposed, your heart and soul on display as you hold Jungkook’s hand in yours. Old memories of Appa and of this park spill from your lips fondly and Jungkook only listens with wide, sparkling eyes. Vulnerability drips from your tongue and he swallows it up eagerly.

A light breeze ruffles through his hair and you stop him mid-stride to stand by the lake. The clear water glimmers with the sun, blue and purple petals floating over the water slowly. You lean over the railing and Jungkook encases you with his arms on either side of you, his chest pressed to your back.

“We used to fly kites here,” You say wistfully, “Right over there-”

You point at the other side of the lake where trees shroud the corners with brightly colored leaves. “And always get food from the food carts right outside the park.

“And this is where I was that one time we were here for the workshop. I came here before that happy hour, too.”

Jungkook kisses your cheek and you lean back, letting your head rest over his shoulder as his arms snake around your waist. There’s nobody around, even though it’s relatively early in the morning. The only sounds that can be heard are your own breaths, and the softness of the birds chirping and the wind whistling.

“The happy hour when the night before I hurt your feelings,” You murmur, “I’m sorry I said everything I said to you. And I’m so sorry I was so… mean and bitter to you in the beginning. You didn’t deserve that.”

You turn in his arms, wanting to see him, and cup his cheek. Letting your thumb trace the mole below his lip and over his cheeks.

“I’m scared,” You confess, “I’m scared that I’ll ruin you and break your heart. Because I’m still in pieces sometimes. I like you so much but shouldn’t I seek love from someone else only after I learn to love myself?”

“I can love you as you learn,” Jungkook murmurs, kissing your forehead, “Self-love doesn’t mean you don’t have to accept love from others, baby.”

Another strong breeze tickles your face, caressing Jungkook almost tenderly. “Sometimes I like to pretend like winds like that are Appa and he’s saying hello,” You say sheepishly with a watery laugh, “I think he likes you.

“I’m scared, Jungkook. But I want to be scared with you,” You exhale, tears dotting your eyes and a small smile on your face. 

Jungkook pulls you close to his chest, wrapping his arms around you tightly and rubbing your back soothingly. “‘M gonna take care of your heart, princess. You’re always safe with me.”

You immediately burst into tears, because you trust him with your soft heart and you believe him. He only smiles at you, tears rolling down his own cheeks as he thumbs yours away. Jungkook kisses you softly, squeezing your cheeks together and you can taste the saltiness of your tears on your tongue. You deepen the kiss quickly, pouring all of your trust and respect for him onto your lips.

He drinks you up easily and bends his knees a bit to scoop you by your thighs and lift you up, even spinning you a bit as his lips stay pressed to yours. You pull away first with a dazed, watery giggle and push his hair away from his forehead to press a kiss there.

You feel weightless and airy in his arms, your hands steady on his shoulders as he spins with you.

You could love this man- you already love his wide, crinkly-eyed smile, the way the tips of his ears turn pink when you fluster him, the way he is so considerate and charming. 

“Jungkook,” You mumble, pushing his hair back again, “Take me back to our hotel, baby.”

Jungkook can’t keep his hands off of you, not with the dim lights of the hotel lobby making your hair shine, not when you stand in front of him in the elevator and lean into him as his arm lazily wraps around your waist to pull you closer. His nose tickles your neck as he drops kisses to your cheek, smiling against your skin when you laugh lightly. 

The elevator dings. You both stumble out, holding hands as if you’re love drunk on each other and it’s not 7:30 in the morning.

You push him against the door once you key yourself inside, impatient and hands wandering. A choked noise escapes his lips but it melts into a moan when you press into him. 

Jungkook can’t keep his hands off of you, not with the way you breathe his name out as if it’s spicy honey on your tongue. Your legs remain wrapped around his waist as he holds you by your thighs, his hands digging into them. You’re secure in his arms- the fact that he can hold you up so steadily, so easily has you rolling your hips into his and moaning into his mouth unashamedly.

“Shit,” Jungkook groans into your ear, a little desperate, “I want you so bad, baby.”

You hum in agreement, lips pressed to the spot behind his ear. The spot that you had quickly discovered in your relationship that he liked. He stumbles for half a second before dropping you to the large bed and hovering over you.

Jungkook impatiently tugs at your blouse, trying his best to unbutton it as carefully as possible. He curses under his breath, shooting you a playful glare when you giggle at him. He unclasps your bra easily and once you shuck it off to the side, his mouth is warm and wet against your bare chest. Your giggles turn into soft sighs of his name.

Ever since he had realized how much you like the feeling of his mouth on your tits, he couldn’t get enough. You’re so sensitive, almost all the time, and this time is no different.

You always try to push him away but coax him back for more.

Your small hands are ghosting over his chest, glazing over the ridges and dips of his abs and of his pecs. You tug on his shirt and pull it up and over his head, tossing it to the side to join your own clothes. His fingers are heated as you lightly scratch over the trail of hair dipping into his shorts from his navel, but you only tease him and palm him through his clothes.

You’re so impatient. You unbutton his shorts clumsily and gently yank his boxers and his shorts down his thighs, always surprised that he’s almost completely hard already. But it doesn’t take much for him to get hard with you. 

You spit into your hands and wrap a hand around his cock, lazily stroking him.

Jungkook’s eyes are wide, breaths staggered at the sight of your freshly painted glossy lilac nails around his cock. 

“Koo,” You mumble, “So big, Koo…”

Your face is warm as you meet his darkened, lust blown eyes. Jungkook catches the sliver of determination in your own eyes as you continue to stroke him- you’re determined to have him in your mouth.

The last few times you’ve tried haven’t gone so well- every time you’d tried taking him in your mouth, you’ve always coughed and gagged heavily to the point of your eyes watering and Jungkook felt bad and told you that you didn’t have to blow him.

“You don’t- oh, baby,” Jungkook groans, biting his bottom lip and struggling not to close his eyes when you take him past your lips. You try your best to control your breathing through your nose and alternate between teasing him with kitten licks and stroking him.

You look up at him from your spot on your knees and take him a little deeper, just like he taught you. Your eyes are already watering, vision starting to go blurry but you’re nothing if not determined. Your hands are loose around his strong, muscular thighs and you squeeze.

“Like that, princess,” Jungkook mumbles, watching you with half lidded eyes, trying to stop himself from fucking your mouth.

But maybe you want that.

“More tongue, baby,” Jungkook encourages, “Don’t forget to breathe through your nose.”

You hum around his cock, the sound inadvertently causing him to thrust into your mouth. But you squeeze his thighs in encouragement, wordlessly telling him that he can fuck your mouth if he wants to.

“Mmm, you feel so good,” Jungkook moans, hand cradling your cheek and wiping a stray tear, “Look so pretty like this…”

“You can take me, princess,” Jungkook murmurs, and you take a few more inches of him down your throat without gagging, “Good girl…”

Your belly flips at his praise and you’re eager for more to spill from his pretty, reddened lips. Jungkook curses, his voice low as his thighs tremble with each stroke of your hand and each pull of your mouth. He can’t get enough of you like this, you on your knees with wide, watery eyes just for him. Just for him.

His dream girl.

Jungkook abruptly pushes you away from his cock, saliva trailing from your lips with a pop! You look at him in confusion but he unbuttons your shorts quickly and tugs your panties away, hardly appreciating the new pretty purple panties you’d bought specifically for this trip. You hardly have an opportunity to pout about it, before he sharply kisses you, molding his hips to yours.

He swipes his hand over your pussy, getting a feel for your wetness. You’re so wet already, just from kissing him and from having his cock in your mouth.

Jungkook groans into your neck, biting your skin lightly and you gasp when he slides into your wet warmth easily. Wrapping your legs around his waist and reaching behind him to squeeze his ass, you kiss moans of his name into his heated skin.

“Koo,” You mumble raspily, breath hitching when he stills inside you, “I want you-”

“Gonna take care of you, my dream girl,” Jungkook says softly, cupping your face. Your heart stutters in your chest at the sincerity of his kiss, the stars in his eyes and the adoration in his touch. 

Something sweet is at the tip of your tongue but you swallow it down, instead losing yourself in his touch along your hips, your tits, your thighs. Anywhere he can reach you.

Jungkook presses his forehead to yours and rocks into you, again and again and again.

“One more, princess,” Jungkook says hoarsely, thumbing away your stray tears, “Gimme one more-”

You whine but it quickly turns into a broken moan of his name when he gently rolls his hips into yours and rubs your clit with his thumb. Your eyes are glazed over but focused on him, a thin sheen of sweat coated over your soft skin.

“I can’t…” You mumble, wrapping your arm around his shoulders and turning your face to the side. But you both know that you can. Jungkook’s eyes dip to the place where you’re both connected in between your legs and marvels at your puffy pussy. You widen your legs further despite the slight soreness already settling in for him to get a better look. His fingers ghost over your pussy and you shiver at the oversensitivity that his mere touch brings.

“Yes, baby, you can,” Jungkook says softly, “Nice and slow, just like this.”

“O-okay,” You reply, tipping your chin up for a kiss. You feel like jelly, like you’re floating on a cloud, with Jungkook right by your side. When you finally do cum, with soft, sinful murmurs of his voice in your ear, it’s quiet and warm. Leaving you buzzing from head to toe.

You clench around him, the feeling of his cock inside you becoming almost too much to bear. But you don’t want him to pull out, just yet. After all, your baby hasn’t cum and you can feel how hard he is.

“Koo,” You murmur, threading your nails up and down his very defined back, “Baby, you feel so good, make me feel so good…”

You won’t lie, sometimes the dirty talk feels clumsy to you as it comes out of your mouth. You think Jungkook is better at it than you are, and you’ve told him that, too. He only denies it.

You pull him down closer to you, your breath fanning across his cheeks. You squeeze around him despite your own sensitivity and he groans out loud, eyes closed. Jungkook sits you up and brings you into his lap with his cock still inside of you, throbbing with the need to cum.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, fingers gentle against his scalp. You lean forward and nip his earlobe, giggling when his hips stutter. Your mischievous touch dips down his chest, scratching at his navel.

Jungkook abruptly cums into the condom, possibly harder than he ever has, with your gentle, feathery touches and your soft murmurs in his ear. He moans your name and holds you close, arms tight around you and keeping you plastered against his chest as he rides his high out.

“Holy shit,” You breathe with a slow smile. Jungkook hums and lays you on your back, laying with you for a second before pulling out of you and discarding the condom on shaky legs. You’d make a comment about how cute his ass looks, but you’re too tired to. You get cozy under the covers, watching him flit around the room with sleepy eyes. 

It’s hardly ten AM and you’re ready to go back to sleep.

You must have drifted off at some point, because Jungkook is wrapped around you, his head on your chest. He’d cleaned you up, too and you drowsily kiss his forehead before slipping back to sleep.

After all, the rest of the weekend is still yours. Work doesn’t begin in Tokyo until Monday.

tags: @koo-zy

[fantasia-monogram]

Seven to twelve

♥️ Inseong x female reader (female anatomy); mentions of other SF9 members.

♥️  This is set in the As the clock strikes midnight universe, right after the epilogue! Read it before this one to get the context.

♥️ Smut (2.7k words); y/n is a professional Domme. Inseong is a bisexual sub. Mommy kink, degradation, spanking. Mentions of other BDSM practices.

♥️ Quality Department leader Kim Inseong has two secrets: first is his love for kink, second is a massive crush on a hot guy from HR department. Every Thursday, a trusted Domme helps him deal with frustration keeping those secrets causes.

♥️ Disclaimer: this is just for fun! I’m not claiming that’s how they are in real life, it’s just my imagination doing whatever it wants. Read at your own discretion.

As you stepped back into the dungeon, you admired the transformation the room had undergone while you were taking a shower. Your previous customer made a huge mess (still, not even comparable to the mess you've made of him). You weren't the best at cleaning - you've had other talents that got you through life, after all - so you couldn't help but be amazed at the work the cleaning staff did in such a short time. 

Gone were the wet stains on the floor, and a soiled rug had been replaced for a fresh, fluffy one. All the scary torture equipment was hidden behind partition that would automatically slide out of the nearest wall by a press of a button. Antique leather chair was switched to a cozy looking armchair with blankets laid out on the floor next to it. The mood of the otherwise pretty sterile space was warmed up thanks to pink tinted lighting. 

All of those were a tell-tale sign who your next customer would be. 

You opened the wardrobe and took a black satin-and-lace bodysuit out of it. Your usual tight corset and leather boots wouldn't be needed this time. After you put the garment on, you opted for classic shiny stilettos, and topped the outfit with a short flowy dressing gown.

Just to be sure everything was in place, you checked yourself out in the mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door: the look was a blend of a retro housewife and a pin-up girl, complete with vintage style lingerie, aggressive eyeliner and red lipstick. Just as he liked it. 

There were only minutes left to the appointment, so you stroke a couple more poses to see the outfit in different angles. Perfect. You crossed the floor in a few elegant strides, to finally take a seat on the armchair in the middle of the spacious room. 

You had a pretty chill end of the workday ahead of you. 

A soft, somewhat cautious knock on the door broke the silence. 

"Come in." 

There he was, entering hesitantly, and closing the door behind him in an awkward manner. Inseong - you had no interest in your customers' last names, it was something only the administration ladies kept for business purposes - was a tall, very tall man with broad shoulders, lanky limbs and a bit of a tummy; his face, though, was that of a teenage boy, with barely any wrinkles and nervous expression. From what he told you, he was some kind of a supervisor or a boss or something in the field of corporate banking. At that moment, however, with his black bangs covering his forehead, he was stripped out of all titles he might have held as a higher up.

Honestly, he looked pretty cute in a set of pink fleece pajamas with a print consisting of little yellow chicks. 

He stood there, big eyes looking at you anxiously. You knew he was waiting for your sign - his wish was to experience your different moods, so you always kept him uncertain for a bit. It was more fun this way. 

That night you decided to play nice, at least for a while. You put on your warmest smile, spreading your arms. 

"Come on, baby, come to Mommy!" 

Inseong didn't need to be told twice. He rushed from his place. In seconds, he sank onto his knees inbetween your spread legs. You sneaked your arms around his neck and harshly pulled him forward, only to let him plant his face right into your breasts. 

Right, he had a thing for boobs. And muscular body types. That's why he chose to pay for your services in the first place.

He stayed like this for a good minute or two, occasionally rubbing his face against your soft flesh. You kept gently patting his head this entire time, until you decided that was enough and yanked him away by a handful of hair. 

"Why don't you tell Mommy about your day, baby?" You cooed, still gripping his hair tightly. His eyes, looking even bigger, were all fired up already.

He was so easy to figure out. 

"Y-yes… Yes, Mommy, I will," he stuttered. You let go of him, so he could sink back to the floor and lie his head on your lap. 

You got back to combing your fingers through his black strands, just to keep the variety.

"There is this guy in the company…" Inseong started, his voice a bit hushed. "In another department. He's dreamy. But I don't think he's interested in me. I don't think he's interested in guys at all. Or at least in pathetic guys like me." 

You uttered a soft mhmm to encourage him. Oh, so he came in to release the frustration. You already had a plan on how to help him with that, but that required waiting for a good moment to start the actual scene. 

"I can't believe anybody would be able to resist my pretty baby," you sighed, staying in character. 

"Thank you, Mommy…" Inseong replied shyly; he knew how to behave, or rather, how to reply to your compliments. "Actually, he spends so much time with that… I can never remember her name… She's a monster. Five and barely a half feet of a goddamn monster. I've heard they want to promote her to a leadership position soon. And she's so old! I can't believe Jaeyoonie is into older women."

Your eyes went wide at the name. No way. Glad Inseong couldn't see your face right now, you quickly calmed yourself down.

"Some guys are into milfs, you know that, right, baby?" You snorted. The things you had to do just to pace the appointment right… 

"She's not a milf! She's only a year or two older than me," Inseong explained. 

Come to think of it, you had no idea how old he was, and it was hard to tell by his looks only. 

"Anyway, I'm sure he's fucking her. Or that awkward skinny boy always hanging out with them." Inseong started to sound pissed off at this point. "Now that I think of it, he could easily take them both! And that would mean he's into older women and younger guys. I don't fit into any of those demographics. What a nightmare."

"You never know," you concluded, although internally you were getting more and more suspicious of Jaeyoonie's identity. 

"But there's more…" Inseong's voice broke at the last word. "There was a company party earlier that week… I drank too much and he saw me throwing up in the bathroom… I can't believe I embarrassed myself like that…" 

That was the moment you were waiting for. You stopped your caresses immediately. 

"Wait a minute. When was that party, exactly?" 

You could feel Inseong tense up under your hand. 

"Wednesday night…" He mumbled. 

"Is that why you rescheduled from Thursday to Friday?" 

You gripped his shirt at the back of his neck. 

"Yes, Mommy… I was so hungover… I wouldn't be able to play with you…" Inseong started stumbling over his words. You slid your hand up, grasped a fistful of hair and pulled it back so he could face you in a very uncomfortable position. 

The panic that flashed through Inseong's eyes gave you a solid rush of adrenaline.

"Good boys don't drink more than they could handle," you stated in a dead serious tone. 

"B-but…" Inseong stuttered, "I have low tolerance. And everyone else was drinking…" 

You tightened the grip on his hair, eliciting a strangled whine out of him. 

"Then you shouldn't have drunk at all, you silly baby." You slowly stood up from your seat, dragging Inseong up on his knees, followed by a litany of pained whimpers. "You made Mommy sad. I've been waiting for you the entire day."

"Oh, no… I'm so sorry, Mommy…" Inseong babbled, on the verge of crying. 

Not wanting to overdo it with his emotions just yet, you let go of his hair. He barely managed to feel relief, when you forcibly grabbed his chin.

"You're Mommy's favorite boy, but you need to learn your lesson" you concluded, staring straight into his panicked eyes. "What should I do with you now?" 

Inseong went silent, nothing but anticipation pictured on his face.

"Oh, you look way too eager," you said, loosening the grip on Inseong's chin, "Go to the corner, hands on the wall." 

"No, please!" Inseong cried out, although you knew very well he was just playing along. "Not the corner!" 

"Should I make you go there on your fours?" 

The guy mumbled a barely audible I'm sorry and obediently walked to the nearest wall. He took the usual position: propped on his hands, head hanging low, his broad back facing you - obviously, with the round butt presented to you in a shameful way. 

To keep him waiting, you first took in the sight, unable to hold back a smirk. You knew soon he would be absolutely wrecked, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment and shining with tears.

Saying you loved your job would be an understatement. 

Satisfied, you approached him, clicking of your heels the only sound in the room.

"I guess I have to spank you." 

Inseong's head jerked up a little. 

"I'm going to do this through your pants, though, and I'm going to use my bare hand only."

Inseong whined, head leaning down to previous position. 

"One more complaint and I'm going to shove a plug into your hole and make you stand here for the rest of the night." 

"I'm sorry!" He apologized frantically.

It's not like you haven't done that punishment before - you smiled at the memory of him coming untouched - but he really seemed desperate for some action this time. 

You came closer and hovered your hand over the perfect curve of Inseong's butt. He trembled under your touch. So, so desperate. 

"It's gonna be thirty, because that's how many hours I had to wait between the time you rescheduled to this meeting," you announced, causing Inseong to whimper quietly.

"Can I count?" He asked shyly. 

"You're dumb enough to not know your limits, I think counting to thirty would be too much to ask." 

With that, you landed the first slap. 

You observed Inseong for a couple seconds before continuing. He didn't make a sound, but his arms shook, long fingers folding into fists against the wall. You wondered if he would even last the whole session.

Your predictions would soon turn out to be true: he started whimpering after each hit as soon as you landed the third one. When you approached the tenth, the whimpers turned into screams. Once you passed the first half, all he could do was to moan uncontrollably, his legs shaking so much you were wondering how could he even stand up at that point. 

He didn't use the safe word, not even a single word of protest escaped his mouth either, so you knew it was fine to continue. He was so close to breaking. You absolutely adored the feeling of this moment approaching.

Finally, as you were raising your hand to slap Inseong's ass for the twenty seventh time, his knees gave up. The guy sunk down to the floor, still leaning against the wall. That turned out to be too much for him, though - ultimately, he slid his hands down, too.

You looked at him intently: Inseong, resting on all fours, kept trembling, his breathing so loud you could hear it from above. What an absolute mess. You were so amused you decided to end the session on a sweet note; however, your understanding of sweet was very... specific. 

"What's that, baby? You can't take it anymore?" You cooed, approaching closer. Your shin brushed against his buttcheek.

"Mommy… I…" Inseong panted, visibly struggling to form a complete sentence. "Can I touch myself? I can't take it anymore…" 

You almost laughed at how pained his tone was. Led by curiosity, you kneeled right behind him and leaned to take a close look: indeed, he was tenting in his cute pajama pants. Pathetic.

"Mmm, I'm not sure," you mused. "I don't think you've earned the permission to touch yourself."

"Mommy, please, it hurts," Inseong pleaded. He regained the ability to speak, but his voice started breaking. 

"I want you to come, but I also want you to embarrass yourself even more, since you couldn't take your spanking like a good boy," you wondered aloud in an amused tone, "What should I do?" 

You knew exactly, but hearing Inseong hold in his breath was worth every second of suspense. 

"Anything… I'll do anything…"

Hearing that, you came to conclusion you've had enough of toying with him. You reached to ruffle his hair. He leaned into your touch like a cat.

"Dumb kittens like you don't deserve to be touched directly." 

You lodged your thigh inbetween his legs, making him moan loudly at the sudden contact. He felt hard and heavy against your skin through the fabric separating you two. 

"Work for it, baby," you commanded. 

Inseong didn't need to be told twice. Disregarding all dignity, he started grinding against your thigh, his thrusts becoming more and more furious with time, until he couldn't hold back grunts escaping his mouth. You could feel his cock getting heavier; years of having to keep your urges to yourself during sessions gave you incredible self control, but Inseong's eagerness was turning you on so much you had to think of something quick. To ground yourself, you grabbed onto his hips, helping him grind even harder. 

He looked so broken, though - with his head low on the floor, resting on his arms, and his ass high up, relying on you completely in his need for pleasure. The sounds coming out of him weren't making it any easier for you either. 

It didn't take him long to finish at this pace. He stilled, arching his back, and came with a delicious, drawn-out moan. You quickly retracted your thigh, as you felt the wetness on his pants coming in contact with your skin. 

You let him come down from his high. Once he was fine enough to sit up, you pulled him into a back hug. He sighed happily, leaning against your cleavage. 

For good measure, you planted a couple kisses on his cheek and the side of his neck, leaving bright lipstick marks all over; he giggled uncontrollably at your affectionate gesture. 

"Thank you, Mommy," Inseong purred, a smile adorning his pretty lips, "My head is so clear now. I feel so much better." 

You wondered how he could sound so innocent with a huge wet spot in the front of his pants, not to mention he probably could barely sit with his butt burning from the spanking. 

"I hope my baby has a good weekend." You kissed his cheek once again, this time letting your lips linger on his skin for a little longer. 

Inseong's legs turned out to be still too wobbly to support him, so you helped him stand up and walked him to the door. 

"You're gonna be fine in the shower?" you asked, a bit worried considering his weak state. 

"I wish Mommy would join me, but I'm a big boy. I'll manage," he assured you. 

To be honest, you wished for the same thing, but business was business, and Inseong was just your customer - no matter how much fun you had ruining him each time.

"Thank you, really. I needed that so much," he said, dropping the character. "See you next week." 

You stared at the door for a while after he left, pretty sure there was something that slipped your mind during the meeting.

At last, it hit you: Jaeyoon, probably matching Inseong's ideal buff type, working a 9-to-5 job in some corporation. Could he be your old acquaintance from the BDSM community you met at a self defense course? You wondered for a while at the possibility.

Opening the wardrobe, you briefly rested your eyes on the clock. Seven to twelve. No time to muse over the past; you hoped those two would get together eventually, because if Inseong was the supervisor Jaeyoon couldn't shut up about all those years ago, then… well, they had some catching up to do. 

[pandawriterstuff]

Pinehallow Summary & Character List

This is my main WIP, if I'm complaining about characters doing whatever they want, this is them.

Pinehallow Summary-Monty, an eleven year old boy who has spent most of his life traveling from place to place with his in-demand lawyer mother, Irene, is sent to live at his uncle's horse ranch because she thinks he needs roots. Used to nearly everyone but his mother not being around long enough to get to know, Monty is more than a bit uncertain about this. But in scrambling to find his place in a town different to anything he's ever known, he finds friends, both human and animal, makes discoveries, and even manages to foil a plot against Pinehallow Ranch itself.

Character List

Monty (Montgomery) Cade Waller- Main character, 11, white. Monty is curious, bright, and more than a little awkward. He has a tendency to state the obvious, which can be endearing or annoying depending on your perspective. Big vocabulary and grown-up way of speaking because he’s spent more time around grown-ups than other kids. He’s quietly stubborn, particularly when it comes to being told he’s wrong when he knows he’s right. Insecure about socializing and friendships because of constant moving and traveling. Can’t hold a grudge for the life of him, even when he likely should. He likes bugs, birds and turtles, would rather read nonfiction than a story. Fills lonely afternoons with sketching, nature sketching on the ranch.

Irene Waller- Monty’s mother, 36, white. Irene is a powerful corporate lawyer, either full of energy or exhausted, never in between. She loves using words to sway minds and deciphering documents to find exactly what the opposition doesn’t want her to find. Sometimes Irene wishes she was using her skills in more meaningful ways, but also really likes the money, the traveling, and the competition. Has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of show tunes from musicals. She has a hard time letting people get close. Would stab someone for her baby, but knows it’s better to teach him to stab for himself. Only partially joking. Dolly Parton is her hero, and as much as she loves her music, it’s Dolly the business woman and Dolly the philanthropist that she strives to emulate.

Keith Waller- Monty’s uncle, 34, white. Horse Rancher. Keith loves working hard and getting dirty, and if he’s not exhausted at the end of the day he’ll be looking for something else to push him there. Otherwise he gets antsy. Loves animals and absolutely will not tolerate anyone mistreating any of the animals on his ranch-ordinarily he’s very careful of his size and strength, in that situation, all bets are off. Times that by about ten for any of the ‘barn rats’ that help around the ranch for riding lessons/time. Loves romantic comedies and telanovas and doesn’t care who knows it. Keith doesn’t read a lot, it never came easy to him, but if he’s taking a long trip he’ll always check an audio book or two out of the library instead of just relying on the radio.

Juniper - Keith’s goddaughter, 15, white. She has a calm, confident personality with a smile for most everyone she meets. If she doesn’t have a smile for you and it isn’t because her head is in the clouds over a girl, you’ve probably earned her scorn and will be ignored as much as possible. Juniper raises rabbits and it’s taught her patience, and a lot about unfairness when a kit doesn’t make it. She helps out with riding lessons at the ranch in exchange for riding time of her own, and has become a fixture, spending more time there than she does at home, and when she can get away with it, school. Loves sunflowers and her sunflower comforter is probably her most prized possession.

Nell - Caretaker/cook for the ranch house(would cooking lunch for the workers still be a thing on a modern ranch?). 38, white(?). Not about to put up with nonsense. Will make you cookies if she doesn’t have to put up with nonsense. Please. At one point she wanted to be a chef and has a year of culinary school under her belt, but quickly decided the super fast paced and competitive environment wasn’t for her. Anything that was making her hate one of her favorite things that fast could not be good for a person. She intends to live a long, long life and that kind of stress can just walk right out of the door. Loves to go on long walks, often into the hills (BLM land) behind the ranch. (maybe she was taught/took a class on foraging, and teaches Monty to find wild onions and stuff? But this would mean *I* have to learn about foraging in Idaho.) This leads to a contented, if often silent, companionship between her and Monty, who desperately wants to explore/record/sketch everything about the natural world of his new home, particularly the parts that are off limits to him without an adult along.

Ray- Family Friend/Co-Owner of R & M General (designed to feel vintage, but shiny. Bit of a tourist stop now, they decided to lean into it.), 50, Black. He uses his background in chemistry to make amazing looking candies and chocolates, using that to deal with a time he used it in less pleasant ways when he was in the military. He never expected anybody outside of his small town, or maybe the folks at the county fair to make so much fuss over them. This might embarrass him, if he weren’t so delighted. A cheerful man with a dreamer’s heart, a magazine once referred to him as a small town Willy Wonka. He dotes on his wife, often making and gifting her small surprises. An amputee in honor of my Grandpa (missing left leg at the knee, possibly missing one arm as well, but I’m not sure how that would affect candy making.). Has certain parts of his past he just doesn’t talk about.

Mavis- Co-Owner of ____ with Ray, 48, Black. Fierce and kind in equal measures, Mavis believes in protecting what’s hers, and as far as she’s concerned the entire town of (oh my god, it needs a name) is included in that. Mavis is very selective about the battles she fights, but when she chooses one she throws herself in whole-heartedly. On several committees around town, she’d be on more, but then she wouldn’t have enough time to really get into the work of the ones she loves. She knits in her limited free time, often while listening to the news, but sometimes opera. Has started knitting stuffies in the shapes of the more unusual candies Ray makes, it’s silly, but fun, and tourists and the local kids love it. Still head over heels for Ray, even though his often dreaming about things for ages instead of just doing them is also still baffling to her.

Leanna - Juniper’s sort-of girlfriend, 15, Vietnamese. Quiet, a little cynical, but very empathetic. She avoids the news because it’s that or be mad and want to cry all the time-until she hears about something she can’t not research, and goes on a 24 hour google search and learns far more than is probably good for her about a species going extinct due to logging in prohibited areas, or genocide being covered up by claims of violent uprisings. She loves manga and comics. Leanna sometimes tries for a cottagecore* type aesthetic, but mostly thinks it's too much work. She’s starting to worry about what she’s going to do with her future, and people telling her that she’s only 15 and doesn’t have to worry about it yet is NOT HELPING.

*even though cottagecore isn’t a thing in the early-mid 2000s this is maybe/vaguely set in. Shh, let me have this. Anne of Green Gablesesque maybe?

Winnie - Leanna’s mom, 45, Vietnamese. Widow? A little ditzy, but a lot loving. Everyone in town is convinced she’s the stoner type of hippy, but no one minds as she’s someone who truly wants to know how you’re doing when she asks and strangely almost always has very spot on advice. She’s rarely on time anywhere, but that’s because she’ll have stopped to talk, and often to help, whoever she’s run into. Leanna and her bicker over this when she’s late picking her up. Always wears bright colors. Loves Agatha Christie books. Calls everyone, even people 50 years older than her, hon.

Logan - Juniper’s stepdad, 40, white. Kind of a jerk, but most of the jerky things he says are actually jokes that fall flat or have simply gotten old. Tries really hard, like *really* hard, but has a tendency to get annoyed if people don’t appreciate his efforts right away-more in his personal life than professional, possibly because of his profession. A contractor, hard worker, loyal, has worked for the same company since he was twenty even though they don’t often treat him right. Sometimes tries to buy people’s affections. Wants to have better communication with Juniper, but it’s gotten really hard the last few years and he’s never quite sure why.

Candice - Juniper’s Mom, 39, white, works at a nursery that sells seedlings and baby fruit trees, has a cheerful, calm personality, but a lot softer and more lowkey than Juniper’s version. Very house proud, but has a ‘maximalist’ approach to decorating-everything is in its place, but there are places for lots of things. Loves spending time outdoors, but would rather spend it tending her garden than hiking or riding, preferably with a cup of tea by her side. On the weekends, a fruity beer or wine instead. Wants to go on one of those train rides where you get to drink wine, eat canapes and try to solve a mystery, thinks Winnie might be a good candidate for someone to go with her.

Ura - a ‘barn rat’, 12 and a half, white(maybe a Czech immigrant? 2nd generation?) . A cheerful, rough and tumble boy who is always climbing things, and often being told to stop when he gets too high for other people's comfort. Ura is fearless when it comes to physical feats, but has a fear of ‘slimy’ things like worms and frogs. He has a thick layer of pudge and a big appetite, but is athletic and strong enough that anyone bullying him over it would be doing it at their own peril. Not that he’s the type to start fights, or even finish them most of the time. Doesn’t feel he quite fits in with his family, who are all more serious, reserved people. Redwood is his favorite of the horses, and Keith has all but given up on telling him that sitting on the floor of Red’s stall to talk to the horse isn’t exactly safe.

Elliot - Ray and Mavis’s son, Black, 19 and a college student-maybe/probably at U of I. Lives on campus, but comes home at least a couple weekends a month. Has an older car that he and Ray fixed up together, that is his pride and joy. Quiet, with an irreverent sense of humor that he unleashes somewhat at random. Interested in robotics, engines and mechanics and generally has some project he’s working on, a piece of which may or may not be in his pocket. Often has oil, grease, or ink on his hands, either from working on or designing a new project. A bit of an overachiever, he can spread himself thin trying to live up to all his responsibilities at once. He’s best friends with Randy, a friendship his parents want to disapprove of, because the few times Elliot’s gotten into trouble not only was Randy there, but 99% of the time whatever it was is Randy’s idea, but never quite manage too.

Randy - Handyman at the ranch, mixed race Hispanic and white, 21. Technically head handyman, because the old head retired six months ago, and is a little young/inexperienced for the job, but he’s not the type to back away from a challenge and has risen to the occasion beautifully. Loves rock and metal music, and spends a lot of his free weekends at concerts, the ones crammed into little venues and bars where people are practically on top of each other and the beat is so loud and solid it throbs through you, connecting you to everyone even before you hit the mosh pit, are his preference. He’s been working at the ranch since he was 16, and feels like he has a claim on it, not afraid to speak up if he thinks a decision Keith is making isn’t right or that he isn’t taking something important into consideration. Can be a bit wild when he’s not being the responsible one, definitely doesn’t always think before he acts.

Alma - Local artist/worker at R & M’s, Hispanic, 25. Alma is a painter and poet, a confident young woman who’s figured out that half of surviving as an artist is being your own agent/a salesperson as well, and in addition to several shelves at the R & M that hold postcard prints of many of her pieces, both the coffee shop and cafe have some of her larger paintings displayed, and she always has a booth at the Saturday market, though the majority of her sales come from her website. Alma is cheerful, and likes to tease, and growing up the middle child of four brothers, is very able to hold her own in verbal sparring. She’s close with her family, still living with her parents, and while at first her father was dismayed at her choice of career, he now hands out her business card to basically everyone he talks to.

Miriam - Nell’s Mom, white, 71, a little deaf, speaks loudly, partially because of the deafness, partially because she spent too long letting other people push her around and when she hit about 50 decided she was going to be the one talking over people now. She’s earned it. Age has made her more delicate than she likes, bruising and scraping easily, but she’s determined to do most things for herself. Those that are beyond her she has no problem loudly ordering someone else to take care of. Volunteers a lot, often fosters kittens for the local animal shelter. Used to chain smoke, quit when Nell was a teenager because she kept leaving pictures of diseased lungs everywhere. Still uses the candy ones as a substitute.

Places

Unnamed Town- Somewhere in Latah County, Idaho, where there is not already a town in the way. Around 200 years old and has grown and shrunk and grown again, and currently has a population of about 12,000. Having grown out from a traditional mainstreet, _______ no longer has the western style boardwalk seen in old pictures, but it does have a large cluster of local businesses and ‘hot spots’ still along that old main street, a coffee shop, a diner, a combination bookshop and independent library, a hardware store, a bar, a few places I haven’t thought of yet, and of course R & M General. There is a historical barn half a mile or so away from mainstreet that has been converted into a theater/meeting hall/dance hall, and a community center was added onto it in the early 90’s. During the summer there is a farmer’s market on the property every Saturday. The elementary school and junior high are all on one property, several miles out of town, because the majority of families live on farms, ranches or small rural properties rather than in one of the neighborhood clusters in the town itself. The junior high is 7th, 8th and 9th graders, in a newer two story building, and the elementary school is divided into lower and upper elementary with the bracket shaped building basically being cut in half, K-3 on one side and 4-6 on the other. The high school is outside of town on the other side by several miles, and actually serves kids from another town(s) as well. There is also a trailer park with about forty units, not exactly sure where it is yet, but Miriam(Nell’s Mom) lives there. There is also an animal shelter, a vet’s office, a cemetery, and a couple churches, and I’m sure more things to come.

R & M General (working title?)- Ray and Mavis’s store, a general store with a candy focused twist. A vintage Pepsi sign, neon still bright, and a charming green glass juke-box filled with hits from the 1940’s onward grace the front porch of the R & M, along with a long bench that locals are encouraged to use for a spell or to listen to a couple songs, provided they can behave themselves (teenagers arguing over who their favorite member of the rat pack is might be amusing, considering they were already ‘mom and dad’, or at least older brother and sister, music by the time Mavis and Ray were teenagers, but when they get loud it also gets annoying.). The store itself still has the original wooden counter up front and built-in shelves along the walls, but all refinished and polished to a high shine. A mixture of display types going down the middle of the store, barrels and baskets filled with skeins of colorful yarn and cloth or Mavis’s knitted stuffies(and during winter sometimes socks and mittens), other sewing and craft supplies, display racks with local arts, postcards and carvings, sometimes wind up toys made by Elliot, and of course many, many displays of candies and chocolates. They also have a lot of dry goods, and some of the simpler candy types have little instruction booklets and the ingredients it takes to try out making them yourself stocked in the same display, drink coolers, and sometimes have local produce available. Basically, they have a bit of everything, except for building equipment/home repair supplies, and that’s because of the hardware store across the street.

Pinehallow Ranch-A sprawling 100 acre ranch in Latah County, Idaho where the Waller family has been doing something or other with horses for four generations now. Originally it was a horse breeding ranch, but Keith and Irene’s grandfather felt the money was in training horses, and offered boarding as well, and Keith has continued to build that up, offering lessons for a variety of styles, ages, and skill levels. Butting up against BLM land that allows additional grazing and trail riding, the ranch has four pastures, a large corral, a medium sized indoor arena and two horse barns, one for boarded horses and one for the ranch's own stock, and an equipment barn, an old bunkhouse that is mostly used to store feed-though Randy has slept there when in between places, mostly unbeknownst to Keith-and some smaller equipment sheds, placed where they’re needed. The main house is an L-shaped ranch house with a porch that goes around the entire long front of the house with a large herb/kitchen and rock garden arranged around that. There are treed pockets scattered here and there, left alone as the rest of the ranch was developed, but the creek Monty and Juniper sometimes hang out at is on BLM land, as is most of the forested area around the ranch.

Pinehallow Taglist @sleepysera @enchanted-lightning-aes @odysseywritings @thegreatobsesso @writing-is-a-martial-art and @hiitsolivia If anyone else wants to be added just interact with the post :) (My more advanced tumblr knowledge has led me to believe this is better than asking people to reblog/comment to be added, but if I'm wrong just let me know.)

[itsamejin]

this love || yoongi angst

Summary: A story through the years detailing your relationship with Yoongi and all the ups and downs that came with dating an idol. 

Warning: cursing, sexually suggestive content

Genre: angst, fluff, idol!yoongi, artist!yn

Pairing: Yoongi x female!reader

Premise: Based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift. Reader is an artist.

Commission Request: @minyoongail​

Word Count: 7,681 words

—

You met Yoongi when he was just a trainee, ready to take on the world and bursting with energy to get on stage. He had visions of grandeur- him living in a beautiful mansion, wearing name-brand jewelry, cruising in rare sports vehicles. When times were simpler, he’d promise that you’d be there with him, indulging in the glitz and glamour that came with his fame. He’d be an idol and you’d be his muse. Yet under all those pretenses, under all those empty promises, he was just Yoongi.

He was a guy who walked in and out of your life as easily as ocean tides come and go on the shore. He taught you how to fall in love, fall out of it, and rekindle it all the same. It was a sort of beautiful asphyxiation, being wrapped up in his lifestyle and learning to accept the consequences that came with dating a celebrity.

You wonder even now as you search his name on the internet, if you had any regrets. After all, you lost too much to be with him.

—

April 2013

A first meeting meant everything to you, especially when it came to your clients. You didn’t accept jobs from weirdos who didn’t respect your craft and you definitely hated impatient ones who badgered you to finish your pieces as quick as possible.

Big Hit was a happy medium and had hired you as a contract employee after reviewing your portfolio. Although the style of work they wanted from you was not at all what you specialized in, you were happy that they treated you like an actual employee and not some sort of machine. Plus, the pay was good.

You were asked to work on some cute animal characters for an upcoming boy group that you weren’t terribly familiar with, maybe stumbled on a vlog of theirs that you forgot about. You were intrigued by the slew of trainees that sat in front of you, their palms clenched out of anxiousness.

“I’m [Y/N], one of the digital artists that will be working with you guys from now on,” you introduce yourself politely to the seven bright-eyed boys in front of you.

You were in a room with other staff members, discussing the concept of the “Hip Hop Monsters” your graphics team was working on. This was a planned project lasting over a span of years and would eventually result in collectors edition items. It made you giddy just thinking of the royalties you’d earn from it all.

“I’d like it if the animals took after us,” one of the boys suggested shyly, slightly intimidated by the large number of corporate employees there were in the room for something that seemed so trivial. “I think our fans would like the characters more if they kind of resembled our personalities and stuff...”

You nod along to his suggestions, staring at his jersey to notice that the member who spoke up was Rap Monster. It was cute how they all wore clothes with their names on them. That’s one way to attract attention, you suppose.

“Any other suggestions you guys have for us?” you ask, jotting down notes and making rough sketches as they talk amongst themselves.

“I’d like it if,” a somewhat husky voice starts and you can’t help but stare into the guy’s eyes as he speaks, “my character was a turtle.”

You burst out into a fit of laughter along with the other staff members. He had said it with such a straight face and with so little enthusiasm, yet you could tell from his slight blush that he was serious. He was cute in the way that he wasn’t trying to be.

“You resemble one,” you grin at him, drawing out a small turtle with a cute beanie on your iPad, like the one he wore in front of you. You show it to him. “Something like this?”

“Exactly that!”

He breaks out into a gummy smile, one so bright that it hurt your heart to stare at him for too long. Now you were the one left flustered. He realizes how enthusiastic he was and got embarrassed once again, scratching the back of his head to avoid eye-contact.

“S-sorry, for shouting. It looks good.”

You bite your lip from forming too big of a grin. You still had to remain professional after all.

“You’re welcome,” you smirk slightly as he goes back to trying to look cool. You can’t help but doodle his name on your iPad even as the other members shared ideas for their own animals.

Suga, Suga, Suga.

You smile to yourself. It does have a ring to it.

—

June 2013

Yoongi sees you in the hallways sometimes and wants to say hi, but he can’t because other people are watching. Though, that isn’t the only reason.

He tells himself every day that he’ll muster up the courage to go talk to you, but every time he sees your face his legs turn to jelly. Yoongi was busy with debut stages recently, but he found some free time in his schedule to approach you.

Yoongi was never the shy type, more reserved if anything else, but you had something that enamored him- intrigued him. He wanted to know who you were other than the cute girl he was stuck in meetings with from time to time.

As you sat there on your desk, Yoongi lingered in an area nearby. He would give you his number today and if things didn’t work out then that would be that. There was no need to be all shy about this; it’s not like this is his first time asking someone out.

He strides over to you with feigned confidence and you look up after a minute, not noticing how his shadow loomed over you. He sees that you’re working on realistic portraits of the members and not the cutesy characters he usually sees you drawing.

“Hi,” he says curtly, trying to seem disinterested though he was the one that approached you first.

“Hello,” you smile up at him.

Suga.

“You draw really cool stuff,” he says to break the awkward tension. “You should show it to the CEO. I’m sure we’d have cooler concepts for our albums with your work.”

You look up at him, a happy glint in your eyes. He was complimenting you, although avoiding eye contact to seem a little less nervous than he really was.

“Well, I’m just a contract worker so I don’t think I really have the authority to start up new projects out of nowhere,” you say with a smile on your face at how flustered he looks. “I feel like you’re here to ask me for something. Am I right?”

He looks away for a split second, coughing to alleviate his nerves. He was a grown man for fuck’s sake, why was this so difficult?

“I was actually wondering if you could come give me some opinions about some art that I drew,” he lies through his teeth, just trying to find a way to get you in a more private area than the corporate floor teaming with watchful gazes. “I’ve been trying to start a new hobby.”

You chuckle slightly, seeing right through his words. You stand up to amuse him.

“I’d be happy to.”

He leads you to a studio filled with whacky knick-knacks and dim lighting, not necessarily the best place to draw. You know by now that he just said those things as an excuse to be alone with you.

“So where’s this masterpiece?” you tease slightly at his nervous expression. How did a guy who looked so deadpan have such a giddy personality?

“Well actually,” he starts off, palms already sweaty. “I-It’s not here right now, but I think I left it at the dorms. Maybe if we exchange phone numbers I can text it to you.”

He tried to appear nonchalant, but his hands moved as if he was doing a public speaking presentation. Yoongi thought he was doing great, though growing a little more nervous at how you were giggling.

“You know, Suga,” you start teasingly, “My number is in the company directory. Feel free to text me anytime.”

Yoongi slightly cringes hearing his stage name. He loves it, don’t get him wrong, but he didn't like hearing it come from you. He didn’t like the unfamiliar aspect that came with using his stage name- like you two only went by professional terms.

“Call me Yoongi,” he says with genuine confidence this time. “I like it better when my friends call me Yoongi.”

You nod, relieved that you could finally know this cute guy’s name. Truth be told, you were snooping around his conversations with other people to figure it out.

“So we’re friends?”

Yoongi nods, sitting down in his rolling chair.

“I’d like to be,” he grins, patting the sofa, hoping you’d take a seat with him.

And you do.

—

Present

It’s hard to work efficiently when you’re no longer in a corporate space. There’s no boss to check up on your progress nor is there a nosy coworker trying to see what you’re doing from the corner of their eye. You missed the hustle and bustle of an office floor, but it was nice exploring your creativity through freelance work.

You tap your digital pen onto the table repeatedly, looking at the reference image over and over again. It was a sick joke played by the universe to have been commissioned to draw your ex-boyfriend’s idol group, but you couldn’t refuse the hundreds of dollars the ecstatic fangirl was willing to give you. Truth be told, she might have offered too much pay, but you took up her offer anyway. Money is money.

Yet a face you’ve touched so often, a person you’d been with for years felt so unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t like you were drawing him realistically either. The client wanted anime-style figures that resembled them, looked enough like the boys to display it as her Twitter header. In the end, it’s still too difficult to draw. The rest of the members were lined up and sketched perfectly, but there was a blank area where Yoongi’s face should’ve been.

Your wrists hurt from the constant drawing and erasing so you set it down to massage your hand from cramping. In moments like these, you hated your job.

Ting.

A message notification popped up on your phone that laid beside your iPad. You usually left it silent when you were working, but you opened yourself up to distractions when drawing this particular piece. Whoever thought it was a good idea to specialize in celebrity artwork? You pick up your phone and smiled softly at the text.

hey, can I come over?

—

March 2014

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Yoongi, happy birthday to you~~”

You cheer on with the rest of the boys in their cramped dorm. Somehow you had gotten close enough with them to be at this level of comfort, sitting crisscrossed and shoulders touching with Jungkook and Seokjin. Yoongi blows out the candles and claps his hands, a little sad that another year passed by so quickly. He kept glancing at you who was focused on cutting the cake like the perfectionist you were.

He couldn’t help but feel like time was running out, like if he didn’t confess to you now then it would never happen. Yoongi took off the beanie he wore and ruffled his hair. He was feeling anxious all of a sudden.

“Dude don’t do that your dandruff is gonna get everywhere,” Hoseok whines. “The cake is gonna be decorated with your dead skin cells.”

“Go wash your hands,” Jin commands and Yoongi could only roll his eyes.

“Relax, I don’t even think we’re gonna have cake anytime soon when this slow-poke is taking forever to cut.”

He flicks your forehead as you glare up at him.

“I could so easily throw this in your face, but I choose not to,” you stick your tongue out at him and he scoffs.

“I’d like to see you try.”

All the members groan out of annoyance.

“Oh my god they’re having a lovers quarrel again,” Jimin yawned. “Aren’t you guys sick of arguing?”

Yoongi freezes at his words. Lover’s quarrel. That was a nice way to put it.

“They’ll stop arguing when Yoongi finally-”

Taehyung was cut off as Yoongi swipes three fingers worth of frosting from the cake and lathers it all over Taehyung’s face.

“You talk too much,” Yoongi shakes his head and soon chaos descended. Cake flew in places it shouldn’t have and ended when Namjoon knocked over a glass of water, managing to break it on the floor tiles. In the end, no one got cake.

Yoongi and you were laughing amongst yourselves at the kitchen sink, washing off some of the bits that got onto your shirts.

“I’m so sorry about your cake,” you say through your chuckles. “I’ll make it up to you some time.”

Yoongi only smiles.

“Yeah, you can treat me on a date,” he replies a little too boldly. You look at him in shock, not quite processing his words.

“A date?”

He nods.

“We should go out sometime.”

You purse your lips to prevent the huge grin about to be displayed on your face.

“We should.”

—

Present

It was subtle, the way it all started. You trace over the features you drew so far, only getting to his eyes. Yoongi and you were innocent lovers for a while, keeping your trysts a secret from everyone in the company except his managers and the members. A few of your friends knew, but none of them knew BTS well enough to be all that surprised. It wasn’t all that rare to go out with a celebrity in your line of work.

You almost miss those days when he was unrecognizable. After your friends realized who he was after he hit it big globally, you felt like a secret of yours was displayed to them. Your love was supposed to be private, but his fame left very little room for privacy. You missed when you were the only one that knew of him and maybe it’s selfish to think that way, but you were past the point of being selfish.

You text back.

yeah, can't wait to see you

—

Jan. 2015

Yoongi lays you down on the couch gently. His hands caressing your sides underneath the thin material of your shirt as he pulls you in closer to his kisses. This felt different from other nights, different in that there was nothing around to stop what would come next.

He pulls away from you slightly, panting from the lack of oxygen.

“Are you sure?” he asks, drawing circles on your hip with his thumb. He was only supposed to come over to help you unpack some stuff for your new apartment and here you were, pinned on the couch and sweating from the close contact.

You nod back in response, not finding the right words to get him to continue. He pulls your shirt over your head, peppering kisses on your neck and atop your breasts. He fixates on your neck languidly, biting as he sees fits.

There was a pause as you felt him press up against you and you knew then that there was no making it to the bed. You would have your first time with him on this newly moved-in couch.

The clothes dropped to the ground as his touches get more impatient, more desperate. It all passes by like a blur and you could only remember the pleasure that came with his long fingers, the satisfaction you felt when he was inside you. The climax of it all made you realize that you loved him, truly and without regret. He holds you in his arms when you come undone, flashing a satiated smile as you look up at him. It’s like the stars were in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” you ask him, worried he was already drowsy. You didn’t want to have to sleep on the couch naked.

“Satisfied,” he says with a smile on his face.

You can’t help but swoon, his eyes fixated on you. At least for now, he was yours He wasn’t Suga, a rapper. He was Yoongi, your boyfriend.

It didn't matter to you that he was struggling to make a name for himself in this cut-throat idol industry or that he would spend countless nights cursing as one of his numerous tracks get rejected. None of that was in your mind. Only he swam through your thoughts. Only him.

“I love you,” he sighs out. He was the first to say it.

“I love you too,” you reply back and he holds you tight against him.

He’s nuzzling himself in your hair, his chest pressed up against you so his heartbeat can synch with yours. He loves this, can’t get enough of it. He catches your lips and once again you are whisked in the pleasure of it all. This is it. This is what love is.

—

Present

The piece is finally finished and you send it off to your client, hoping she doesn’t ask for revisions because you can’t handle another second of drawing his stupid face. His soft skin, his tiny moles, his gummy smile...

It's not like you hate him. It’s just... a certain contempt lingers after a breakup from a long-term relationship. It’s the type of resentment that can’t really be explained. You don’t want to see him, but you catch yourself watching his videos on Youtube. You don’t want to think about him, but you hope he thinks about you. You don’t see yourself ever getting back together with him, but you don’t have his phone number blocked.

It’s a sort of paradox you catch yourself in and you wonder if you could ever get out of it. Will Yoongi ever escape your mind?

can't wait to see u too babe

—

Aug. 2016

Yoongi hugs you from behind, his face scrunched at the nape of your neck where several marks were made from last night’s events. Your eyes stayed focus on the TV in front of you, still impressed by your own ability to afford one in your bedroom at your salary.

“BTS' SUGA drops new music video for his song and mixtape Agust D...”

The news anchor drones on and you could barely hear her through the sounds of Yoongi’s soft snores. His hold on you grew tighter as he hears his stage name from an unfamiliar voice and it makes you giggle slightly at how different the edgy music video being displayed was from the same person wrapping you in his arms so tightly.

“Babe, wake up. I have work to do,” you whisper into his hair and he only shakes his head back in response.

“No,” he mutters, pulling you into him closer. You roll your eyes, managing to pry off one of his hands as you sit up on the bed.

“Don’t you have studio stuff to do today?” you ask him, searching for a shirt to wear.

He shakes his head as his eyes start to flutter open. You both reeked of alcohol since you opened a bottle of wine last night to celebrate the release of his first solo work. He was proud of it and you were proud of him.

“Can you turn that off, I’m getting a migraine,” he whines, covering his head with a pillow. You opted to wear Yoongi’s shirt instead of your own since you couldn’t be bothered to walk to the other side of the bed to find it. You smiled at his laying figure, cooped in a fetal-like position. He was still naked, but you were with him long enough to no longer be phased by that sort of thing.

“From one bottle of wine?” you tease slightly. “I think you’re losing your touch, Agust D.”

You chuckle as he throws the pillow on top of his head towards you.

“Don’t call me that,” he pouts, “It feels like you’re making fun of me.”

You stand up from where you were, stretching out your back as you make your way to the door.

“That’s because I am,” you smirk, “You know you’re saved on my phone as Sugar?”

He gives you a glare.

“It’s Suga,” he says, attempting to add some intimidation to his voice. It doesn’t work because all you do is stick your tongue out at him.

“Whatever sugar.”

He chuckles lightly and watches the silhouette of your figure exit his view. Yoongi can’t help but mindlessly follow after you.

As you exit towards the kitchen, you can’t help but hear the television from the bedroom.

“Suga has recently been caught up in a dating scandal with Suran, the solo artist, who sang with him in a song...”

Your head snaps up from those words, your skin crawling with goosebumps. You make it into the kitchen but with a heavy heart and no appetite.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, passing by you to pour himself some water.

“Nothing,” you say, though you sounded bitter. He caught on quite quickly. You were jealous again.

Yoongi heaves out a deep sigh and sets the glass of water down. He comes over to your angry figure and gives you a soft hug, laying his head on top of yours as if to comfort you. You try to pull away but he keeps you close.

“I’ll tell them to drop the rumors, okay?,” he says, genuinely enough to make you believe him. “I don’t want us to fight so early in the morning.”

“You promise?”

He pulls away.

“I promise,” he says, brushing a hair away from your face. “Let’s not think about those rumors right now. You and me both know they’re not true.”

You were never one to forget so easily.

—

It was around 2016 when you had stopped working at Big Hit. They halted the Hip Hop Monster brand and your contract was expiring with them anyway. You went from living a kush office life to struggling freelance worker in a matter of a second. It also meant that Yoongi and you would be spending less time together. His busy schedules couldn’t permit him to stay with you longer than a few hours and his presence slowly started to disappear from his side of the bed.

It was like a sinking ship, what you had with him. The pain starts off slow, unnoticeable. You’ll still laugh and keep up appearances as time passes, but you could tell there was an ominous atmosphere that wasn’t initially there in the relationship. Your screams start to grow silent as more problems start to stack on top of each other. It’s then when you hit the iceberg. It’s then when it all starts to fall apart.

He was still good for you, you convinced yourself, even as the currents swept you out under your feet.

—

Dec. 2016

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming?” you yell through your phone. You were sitting on the floor of your living room, holiday decorations strewn around the apartment. He promised he’d come spend a day off of his winter promotions to be with you.

“You know how hectic the end of the year gets with promotions,” he says in quiet hushes. “I can’t do anything about it. This is my job.”

You suck in your cheeks to prevent yourself from yelling. From the sound of it, he was in public.

“Yoongi, I called out of talking to a really high-paying client,” you say through gritted teeth. “And I still came home. Why am I the only one making sacrifices?”

He sighed at the other end. He didn’t have the patience to deal with you today.

“Look, can you stop being so fucking needy. I don’t need this right now.”

He couldn’t tell from the phone call, but your heart broke at the word. Needy. He thought that you were needy.

“I’m already stressed out as it is,” he continues through the phone. “I don’t need you up my ass all the time.”

“I’m not gonna wait for you,” you reply, tears threatening to spill over. “I’m going to sleep and you’re gonna get rid of all the shit you have in my apartment. I’m sick of you, Yoongi.”

He scoffs.

“I’m sick of you too.”

Yoongi hangs up, about ready to hit the wall when Jimin comes to calm him down. Small things that were never meant to be taken seriously built up until it was ready to crash down.

When Yoongi comes at night to visit you, he sees that you’re asleep on the couch. He sits next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry baby,” he whispers quietly. “I’ll do better.”

You nuzzled closer to him, comforted by words you forget the next day. Even when you woke up with a bad neck and Yoongi snoring onto your skin, you couldn’t find a way to stay mad at him. You knew, deep down, that some way or the other you’re gonna find yourself arguing about the same thing next week.

—

Present

Junghoon comes to pick you up. Junghoon, your boyfriend.

He’s a little uptight and too stern for his own good, but has a good heart and a knack of giving great gifts. You met him from working in the same industry, a 3D graphics designer for several video game companies. He was a new addition to your life, your relationship only about three months old.

You were warming up to him slowly, thankful for finally having a consistent presence in your life. He always made time for you, never used work as an excuse, and didn’t act cold just for the sake of acting cold. Junghoon was sweet in the way that Yoongi used to be when he wasn’t such a massive celebrity.

It was a relief to have someone like Junghoon in your life that didn’t walk in and out of your door without much of a thought to even say goodbye. Your life with him has been a tad bit dull, but you don’t mind all that much. Junghoon’s made you feel secure in ways that Yoongi couldn’t.

—

May 2017

“Your boyfriend is winning a whole ass award across the world and you’re having ramen with me?” Chaerin sighs. It’s typical for a best friend to judge the actions of the other.

“Yeah and?” you reply snarkily, swirling your chopstick around to find the perfect clump of noodles. “I’m not the top social artist according to Billboard, what’s it have to do with me?”

She rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know, you could at least watch him win the award?” she suggests. “The live stream is literally happening right now. Your boyfriend is making history and you don’t even care!”

You look at the clock on the restaurant wall. It was nearing 2 o’clock and your client meeting would be starting soon. You were in high demand as a graphic artist recently and as far as you were concerned, that was the only thing on your mind at the moment. You stare back into your bowl, suddenly losing your appetite.

“The apartment is lonely without him,” you admit sadly.

He bought one for himself and had you move in. ‘It’s easier to not get noticed by the tabloids,’ he convinced you. The modern sleekness of his penthouse was a nice change to your lifestyle, but you missed the comfiness of your small studio apartment. It was often too cold when he wasn’t around.

“You could watch it with me?” Chaerin suggested. “Yoongi’s probably so sad that his own girlfriend doesn’t even want to watch him win such a major award.”

You bite down on your chopstick harshly.

“Well he didn't even want me to come with him so I don’t wanna hear anymore about him from you.”

Chaerin squinted her eyes in your direction.

“Well I mean I get where he’s coming from. He’s still an idol, [Y/N],” she scolds. “It would be a massive risk to take you with him.”

You shook your head disapprovingly, pushing the bowl away from you.

“I’m not an idiot, Chae. It’s not like I was asking to be on the red carpet with him, I just wanted to be there waiting in the hotel room after the show. Two nights ago he suddenly backs out and says I shouldn’t come.”

Chaerin’s jaw dropped out of shock. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Did he say why?”

You stare down at your nails, your heart growing heavy as a long pause of silence takes place. It would be better to be honest, right? You shouldn’t have to pretend like everything’s okay when it clearly isn’t.

“He said he wants space,” you say, careful not to get choked up. “So I’m giving it to him.”

You clutch your thigh instinctively, remembering how Yoongi had brought that up with you just nights before. You two weren’t happy and that he needed to figure himself out before the relationship gets any worse. It’s just a break or whatever bullshit he spouted.

She scoffs.

“What is wrong with you two?” she asks, genuinely concerned. “You are not the type of person to take a break in a relationship.”

You stare bitterly into the reflection of your soup.

“I just don’t think I’ve been happy for a while,” you reply, taking a sip of your water that was left untouched for a better half of the night. “I don’t think he is either.”

—

Sept. 2017

The break lasted for months and you wondered if it was really even a break at all. It felt more like a break up if you were honest. He’d text once in a while and video call you when he was free but other than that it felt like he became a stranger, just another celebrity billboard you walked past on your way to a client’s workplace.

You’d draw sketches of him countlessly, in fear you’d forget how his face looked in real life and not through a low-quality screen. You etched every baby hair, every small blemish he’d hide with makeup. It was your method of not forgetting who the real Yoongi was because honestly, you didn’t know anymore. You didn’t know him.

Trrrringggg.

The sound of your doorbell could be heard all throughout your apartment. You stood up from where you sat on the bed, leaving the sketchbook of his face on the comforter. You weren’t expecting any visitors, but surely enough, Yoongi stood in front of you with a lopsided grin on his face.

“Hey.”

You let him in, not uttering a single word. He looks different now. His hair was black, thank god, but his face was a little softer than you were used to. You remember him being so paranoid about turning bald just a few years ago and here he was, no bald spots to be found. He looked healthy.

“It’s been a while,” you respond, hugging your arms close to your chest, uncomfortable that he was in your presence. It was his apartment technically, but you lived in it more than he did. He opted to stay in the dorm ever since he issued that idiotic break.

“I miss you,” he says in a lowly voice and you almost believe him. Almost.

You scoff.

“It seems like you’ve been having fun without me though,” you say through gritted teeth. “I thought you still wanted space?”

He shakes his head and brings his hand to touch your arm.

“No,” he swallows his saliva. “I miss you.”

You could feel his sincerity, but you can’t help but not trust him. He’s been viciously cold to you, but you find yourself pulling him closer anyway.

“Don’t ever do that again,” you threaten. “It’ll really be over then, Yoongi.”

He sighs into your hair. He loves you. He does. But he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to express it.

“I promise [Y/N]. I won’t leave.”

—

Aug. 2018

He buys you flowers, your favorite kind. It’s a small gesture, but it has you jumping into his arms all the same. It shows that he still cares somewhat. It’s been a while since he’s last shown it.

He holds you closely, appreciating the softness of your body and how you curl perfectly into him.

“I want to stay like this,” you say mindlessly, just relishing in his presence.

You’re not mad at him today and he’s not frustrated with you. It’s a high point in your relationship.

“Me too.”

His words are simple but it warms your heart nonetheless. Yoongi looks at you with twinkling eyes and for a moment you think that this could last forever and that it will last forever. You kiss him slowly and he reciprocates.

It reminds you of your first time, slow and careful- like you were the last person he’d ever want to hurt.

His love, although painful at times, was good to you when you needed it to be.

—

July 2019

Yoongi’s gone again. He’s on tour, as usual, and not giving you any updates. You were getting sick of it. The constant waiting, the constant insecurities that ate you up inside. You weren’t built to endure this kind of torture.

Suga. Suga. Suga.

It rolls off the tongue but it feels disgusting coming out of your mouth. His stage name, a persona. He starts to resemble that name more and more as the days go by. You hear it so much now that it no longer registers as an actual word.

You call him.

He doesn’t pick up.

Again.

No answer.

You’re about ready to throw the phone at the wall until a soft ring was heard from the small device. You take the call immediately, smiling as if you passed the hardest difficulty of a video game. The grin would soon be wiped away, though.

“Why’d you call?” he grumbles from the other line, loud music blasting in the background.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” You sound bitter. You don’t care.

“I’m out right now,” he says, exasperation laced in his voice. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

Clearly, he just wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Yoongi was at a party or a club or wherever he could possibly be in the streets of Shizuoka at 10 p.m.

You just wanted to chat, check on him as a good girlfriend would. He’s been complaining that you haven’t been in a while. You thought this was what he wanted- for you to care.

“I just wanted to see if you were doing okay,” you sigh. “How’d the concert go?”

“Good,” he says, clearly distracted. “Some of us snuck out of the hotel rooms to let loose for a bit.”

You nod as if he could see you.

“So you’re partying?”

You could hear him laugh at the other end, but it wasn’t from your comment. Someone else was making him laugh. Someone with a light and dainty voice, whiny as she got closer to Yoongi.

“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” he says, clearly distracted. “Listen I’ll call you back, okay?”

You feel a lump stuck in your throat. There are no words left to say. The foreign girl on the other end giggled harder at whatever Yoongi was saying and it felt like you were invading their privacy- as if she was his girlfriend and you were nothing. You hung up, your mouth feeling dry as the tears poured down.

You see a text from Yoongi just a few seconds into your wallowing. You sniffle as you read it.

don’t misunderstand. nothing’s happening rn i'm just having a bit of fun.

This time you really threw your phone at the wall.

You go to your iPad that’s sitting untouched on your desk. You open your drawing app and just let the anger in the stylus take you from there. You draw a rough sketch of a couple on the edge of a beachside cliff. The woman seems to be falling into the water as if she was pushed. The guy’s hand reaches out to her, but you can’t really tell if he was trying to grab her or if he was the one that let her go in the first place.

As the tears spilled onto the cool surface of the iPad, you sob harder. Nothing could be fixed and everything still felt broken. It was meaningless, sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothes when he was all the way in Japan snuggling up to girls that were probably much prettier and much more willing to understand his lifestyle.

You look around the penthouse he had bought for the two of you, beautiful wide panel windows and modern furniture. It mostly looks empty, everything nice and tidy as if no one lived here. It had such a stark contrast to that of his old life when he shared rooms with other members and had no place to really put his keyboard except the studio. You smiled at the memory of you all hovering around the small coffee table in the cramped living room eating ramen.

Maybe it was your fault for falling behind, for letting the world around you build up and not follow in Yoongi’s tracks.

—

Present

You guess it was then when the relationship had passed a point of no return. When everything that felt right had started to feel incredibly wrong. You tolerated his presence rather than bask in it. You heard him speak but couldn’t bother to listen. Maybe you were petty, but more than anything you were angry.

You were angry that he could break you that badly and you would still forgive him for it.

You stare over at Junghoon who’s cooking you up something on the stove. This is what you needed.

—

Nov. 2019

Yoongi was back from some big-name award show that you didn’t watch. You heard he won Artist of the Year or whatever, the accolades that he’s collected no longer having meaning as the days pass. Why be happy for him when he himself showed no signs of excitement? This was routine. He expected the awards at this point.

You walked towards him. Yoongi looked angry, though you have no idea why.

“Hey, I made dinner to celebrate,” you tell him. Yoongi’s sitting on the couch, scrolling through the congratulatory messages he received from other industry stars. He looked like he needed to get something off his chest.

“I’m not hungry,” he mutters. “Just leave it.”

“Are you sure?”

He scoffs. It was a simple question.

“Not in the mood.”

You give him a pointed look and sit next to him.

“Why are you never in the mood for anything?” you ask him. “It’s just food Yoongi. I just want to eat with you.”

You don’t see it properly but he rolls his eyes.

“Just drop it okay? Today’s a good day, I don’t need you to ruin it.”

You suck in your cheeks.

“Ruin?”

Yoongi sighs heavily.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he starts, facing you. “Why do you have to be so dramatic over everything.”

You grit your teeth.

“Dramatic?” your voice quivers. “I didn’t know feeling hurt was being dramatic.”

His gaze softens and he touches your arm lightly.

“Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

You shake your head, feeling your eyes dampen at his words.

“I hate your apologies, Yoongi,” you say in a hushed tone. “They don’t mean anything anymore.”

He’s shocked, not really sure how to respond. You were never one to confront him, especially when he was angry. Instead, he holds your hand softly. He was terrible at comforting people.

“Yoongi are you really sorry?” you ask abruptly. It was a question you’ve been meaning to ask for years now.

His grip on you tightened and you can’t quite read his expression, but you can tell that it’s not a positive response. He looks conflicted and he shouldn’t have to be if he really was. You force him to let go of you.

“I am,” he says, knowing he answered a little too late for his words to not seem suspicious.

“I don’t think you are,” you reply sadly. “You say sorry more than you-”

say I love you.

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence because he knows. He knows what you’re trying to say.

“I am,” he says with more sincerity, but he looks at you with an unreadable expression. “I just don’t think it’s enough at this point.”

“What’s not enough?”

You were confused. Is he still talking about whether he's apologetic or not? Or is it something entirely different?

“I do love you,” he says with a certain conviction in his voice, “and I always will, but it feels like nothing’s working out.”

Yoongi doesn’t look at you and focuses on the leather of the fancy couch. He doesn’t say anything but you know what this means. He’s about to stand up, but you grab onto his wrist.

“This is your apartment,” you say before he could say anything to break your heart even further. “I’ll leave.”

“[Y/N], no,” he says. “You don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m just gonna stay over at the dorm. I just...”

Your eyes get blurry from the tears. Even now it felt like he was looking down at you. Nowhere to go. It was like he pitied you.

“...need to go clear my mind,” he finishes the sentence, standing up to grab his coat.

You shake your head and stand in front of him. He’s usually like this. A coward. A bumbling fool who would rather avoid problems than face them head on.

“I need you to stay, Yoongi,” you cry out. “I need you to actually stay for once and comfort me.”

He looks at you, mouth open but no words come out. He smiles sadly and walks toward you, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, [Y/N],” he says and you watch him leave as easily as he walked in.

It’s not like he ever comforted you in the first place.

—

The break up happened silently over a late-night phone call a few days after he disappeared on you. You packed up your things, stayed over at Chaerin’s house, and braced yourself for what was to come. It should’ve happened sooner, you admit, but your heart still sinks when he speaks.

“I just don’t think either of us is willing to try anymore,” he says solemnly. “We’ve been on and off for the past few years and I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us to continue.”

You agree, just wanting the call to end quickly so you wouldn’t have to hear his voice any longer. It hurt to have to listen to him rationalize breaking your heart.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, [Y/N],” he says, not even a tiny bit choked up. “I think we’ve... outgrown each other.”

You knew what Yoongi really meant. He’s outgrown you.

“I think so too,” you say rigidly. Short and simple. You left nothing to be desired. “Let’s break up.”

Yoongi looks at his phone, slightly disappointed. He wished you would fight back, maybe rekindle something in him that he’s lost over the years. Yet you were silent on the line and he just had to accept it- that there was nothing left to be saved.

“Take care, okay?” he says softly because in the end he still cares- he just doesn’t want to anymore.

“I will,” you reply, ultimately hanging up the phone. You collapse onto a bed unfamiliar to you. Yoongi would no longer sleep beside you, no longer reach over to hug your side and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He was gone and you had to accept that maybe he was never yours in the first place.

His last words replay in your mind.

Take care.

That was the most concern he’s ever shown you in the past few weeks. You almost scoff at the absurdity of it all. You don’t notice how truly broken you were until the tears start streaming down your face. You see the image of him through blurry eyes and you wonder how you could let Yoongi leave such a permanent scar on your heart.

—

Present

“Do you like your eggs runny or no?”

Junghoon asks as you approach his figure. You hug him from behind and smile at his warmth. Safe.

“Just a little runny,” you reply.

He smiles and nods, turning off the heat and grabbing some seasoning from your cupboard. You detach yourself from him when you realized what he was grabbing.

“Babe that’s not salt. That’s-”

Sugar.

You stop yourself from saying it and Junghoon looks at you with concern. He chuckles at your stoic state and ruffles your hair.

“Cat got your tongue or what?” he asks, grabbing the right container this time. “Maybe I should’ve asked if you like your eggs sweet instead, huh?”

“I’ve never tried that combination before,” you say teasingly. “Why don’t you test it out for us.”

He clicks his tongue at you and splashes some salt on your face.

“I’ll pour sugar all over you if that’s what you really want.”

You laugh half-heartedly. A simple word shouldn’t affect you this much but you find yourself get more teary-eyed as it repeats in your head. It wasn’t fair to Junghoon that you were thinking of your ex in his presence. It wasn’t fair to you either.

You feel a vibration from your pocket and you pull it out to serve as a distraction from your wallowing thoughts. It’s a text.

From Sugar.

—

A/N: This was so hard to write because my mind has just been empty these days but I’m so glad it’s done now >_< Thank you to @minyoongail​ for requesting this story. I’ve been bumping to the Taylor Swift song now because of this commissions T^T I recommend you all to listen to it. I tried to write this in a different style from my other works so I hope this is still readable for you all LOL

I’m closing commissions temporarily to focus on the ones I have now and to also start writing my own stuff. Let me know how you feel about this, I appreciate all types of comments and criticisms <3 Look forward to Part 2!

[justalarryblog]

💮give and take by @sky_reid (1k) | Explicit

sometimes louis just needs.

💮One for Luck by @leavingonatrain (96k) | Explicit

The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles’ deep, deep voice, he’s just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he’s officially back on Great Britain’s Olympic team. He’s also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there’s a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life’s grand.

(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)

💮Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet? by @afangirlfantasy (45k) | Mature

“It sounds to me like the people you’ve allowed to be a part of your life, don’t deserve even a fraction of a minute of it.” As they repeat over and over, Harry calls out to fate and destiny, asking them why that can’t be true? Why can’t Harry be deserving of love? Why can’t Harry be as special as Louis argues he is? Louis’ beliefs ring in Harry’s mind like the most hopeful of gospels, and Harry wants to proclaim them as his new religion. But when his hands reach out into the vast emptiness of his flat to grab them, to grab Louis, there’s only a shard of a memory to clutch onto.

Or

AU where Harry doesn’t know what it means to be in love, and Louis’ still in love with somebody else.

💮I Cannot Dream Tonight Series by @afangirlfantasy (50k) | Not Rated

At 16 years old, everyone takes a compatibility test on their birthday. At some point after taking the test, and along with other data collected, everyone finds out if they are a Dom or Sub.

At 17 years old, everyone receives a bracelet that notifies them when they have been matched. Every Dom needs a Sub. Every Sub needs a Dom.

When Louis’ bracelet lights up weeks after getting it, let’s just say that who he is matched with, is not quite what he had been expecting.

💮Birds in Gilded Cages by @graveyardwitch (157k) | Mature

There is a hotel in London where beautiful young men and women are kept like birds in a gilded cage, prisoners bound to satisfy your deepest darkest desires….

After being kidnapped as a teenager, Harry Styles was forced into high-class prostitution by the evil Mr Cowell. Louis Tomlinson is heir to his father’s corporation, set to inherit millions…But engaged to a woman he doesn’t love and deeply unhappy. When they meet at a party sparks fly and they embark on a passionate and dangerous relationship…But can it ever be true love when one of you is being paid? And can Louis ever rescue Harry from The Bird Cage Hotel?

Warning-This story is about prostitution so there will be a LOT of sex. I do not own One Direction etc etc. I do ship Larry but I don’t care if it’s real or not, I just like reading and writing the fanfic.

💮Don’t Waste Your Time On Me, You’re Already The Voice Inside My Head by @afangirlfantasy (28k) | Not Rated

At 16 years old, everyone takes a compatibility test on their birthday. At some point after taking the test, and along with other data collected, everyone finds out if they are a Dom or Sub.

At 17 years old, everyone receives a bracelet that notifies them when they have been matched. Every Dom needs a Sub. Every Sub needs a Dom.

When Louis’ bracelet lights up weeks after getting it, let’s just say that who he is matched with, is not quite what he had been expecting.

💮driving instructor fic by @LoadedGunn (104k) | Explicit

AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who’s really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.

💮His Submission Series by tonystankyall (orphan_account) (152k) | Mature

Louis Tomlinson lives in a world where Domination and Submission is a norm. When you are born you are either branded Sub or Dom. Subs get a little pink or blue, depeneding on gender, series of swirls on the back of their neck. Doms get Red or Black, depending on gender, series of swirls on the back of their neck.

Louis Tomlinson was branded with a Blue tattoo and his day has finally come. The day of his 18th birthday where he will be randomly assigned a Dom. This dom could range from younger to older, poorer to richer, and male to female. You never knew what you were going to get. Some Doms were more harsher and stricter than others. Louis didn’t want a harsh Dom to submit to.

Harry Styles was branded with a Black tattoo and he just recieved in the mail that he was finally getting a submissive. Harry was a 32 year old man, settled in, and very very rich. He’s been waiting for an assigned submissive to be chosen for him for a very long time. His Dom friend, Zayn, has gotten his submissive two years prior, a little spit fire irish boy, Niall.

*The rest is in the note*

💮Loving You Is Free by @littlelouishiccups (91k) | Explicit

Louis is a workaholic record label CEO who hasn’t been on a date in nearly a year. Niall and Liam make an account for him on a sugar dating website as a joke. And then Louis meets Harry.

💮sex shop fic (dildornado ‘verse) by @istajmaal, @LoadedGunn (96k) | Explicit

AU where Louis is the most helpful sex shop salesperson in the history of sex shops, and Harry really was just looking for a vibrator with simple instructions (yet ended up getting a hands-on demonstration).

💮Dance Floor Whore by @ropewithnoanchor (7k) | Explicit

Louis and Harry go to a club while on tour to blow off some steam, but Harry gets too drunk and lets another man dance up on him in front of everyone. Louis takes him back to their hotel and spends the next morning punishing Harry, making Harry work to make it up to him.

💮Hold On To The Words You Spoke (Anchored Down In The Throat) by @justletmegohome (13k) | Explicit

“No, no. Louis, just stop. It’s not stupid, it’s never stupid. Believe it or not, I care. I care so much. Do you honestly think I’d still have my dick in your ass if I didn’t?”

Louis chuckles at that, but it’s sad, Harry notes it’s not right. “That will change when I tell you.”

“Never.” Harry kisses every bit of his face he can reach, he has no idea how that can help but he’s going to do it anyways.

“I don’t like the way I sound. ’S all,” Louis says in one breath, going coy as soon as he’s done speaking, his eyes casting downwards.

For a moment, Harry can’t believe his ears. Or the words Louis just said even if he can see them hanging in the air between them. Harry is not even sure if he listened He doesn’t want to believe them, maybe that’s why he’s having a hard time coming up with his own words.

*** Basically, Louis is loud. And then he isn’t. Harry ties him up to find out why. ***

💮I’m Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by @Phillipa19 (6k) | Explicit

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

💮leave you drowning until you reach for my hand by orphan_account (16k) | Explicit

If Louis told him to do something that he really didn’t want to do, it would be different, but Louis’s never done that, never asked anything of Harry that he couldn’t handle. Except—except maybe this; to obey him without praise, reward, approval, or even mere acknowledgement.

💮Push You Over The Edge (So I Can Pull You Back) by orphan_account (16k) | Explicit

It’s after a long two weeks of interviews and non-stop appearances that have got Harry stressed to the limit of yanking his hair out and throwing a fit and crying that Louis shows it to him, walks in the door with a sleek black bag in his left hand and inconspicuous brown one in his right.

💮smile in slow motion by @istajmaal (24k) | Explicit

“It’s 2011, Niall. People can fuck their friends’ faces without it meaning anything more than that.”

or, Louis is Harry’s dom and maybe also his soulmate.

💮sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me by @moonlightlouis (4k) | Not Rated

harry’s been a naughty boy and needs to be punished and louis is there to do it

💮Sweet Dreams by @dormant_bender (5k) | Explicit

When fantasies become reality.

💮To Be Loved To Be In Love by @Angel_Dust (129k) | Mature

At 18, every Sub must take a Match Test to find their Dom.

Poor, Farm kid Louis Tomlinson is matched with Rich, Businessman Harry Styles.

Or, where Harry thinks giving Money, expensive presents and luxuries proves how much you love someone, but Louis is about to turn his world upside down.

✨You can also check My Fic Tags for more fics! ✨

[notphilosopherstudentblog-moved]

unnecessary dream smp (but not really) mock trial post

pt. 2

*warning: long post* 

I have been having a terrible mock trial season so far, so I decided to cope by theorizing what the dream smp members would be like in mock trial. I will try to explain mock trial terms as much as possible, but all you really have to understand is that it is fake court. it is court roleplay, that’s it

Direct - an interrogation of your own witness to help you prove your case

Cross - an interrogation of the opposing teams’ witnesses to help you prove your case by poking holes in theirs

Case law - the “laws” of the fake world that the American Mock Trial Association set in place that set precedents for how each side is supposed to argue their cases; these are typically in the form of court cases

Voir dire -  a preliminary examination of a witness or a juror by a judge or counsel; this comes in the form of opposing counsel interrupting a direct in order to prove that the witness is not fit to make their testimony for one reason or another 

Wiggling - the refusal to answer a question with a direct yes or no in order to not weaken a witness’ testimony

Defendant - the person/corporation being charged with a crime

Dream Team and Co.

Dream 

everyone hates him as attorney and I say this with full confidence

because he’s hyper-aggressive during cross

but also because he’s right 

like a lot

he knows case law like the back of his hand 

he made flashcards

and he’s memorized this year’s case like immediately after it comes out

he made spreadsheets and like ten page document for every witness, including what they bring to the case and what makes them a weak witness 

I mean come on this is the same dude who played one game and hyperfixated on it so hard that he became one of the best players on the internet

his team loves him because he basically writes their entire case for them, but they’re also worried for him because he just rewrites cases on whim in the middle of the night and doesn’t mention it until someone (usually sapnap) brings it up during practice

back on topic, he usually kills it as an attorney and people are like visibly terrified when he’s their attorney

he was pretty meh as a witness when he first started but he’s actually really good now

he used to be terrible at holding a character during a direct/cross

as he’s gone along and practiced, he’s gotten much better!!!

he’s terrifying to go against as an attorney or witness, but attorney is definitely his strong suit

George

george as an attorney is a concept that I hold near and dear to my heart 

I feel like they treat him the same way people treat him playing Minecraft: by severely underestimating him because he makes dumb jokes and is super quiet, but he’s actually really good!!

he’s probably super nonaggressive during cross and directs, but he goes hard during voir dire

he’s like suspiciously good at voir dires

and like forcing people to impeachments

he decimates witnesses and gets their testimonies thrown out

his teammates are suspicious that the other teams are in on it because there is no reason why he should get this many voir dires/impeachments...but he does

(he’s just really good guys, I promise)

it’s definitely not because he’s cute and witnesses don’t know how to handle it and then they slip up and he comes down hard on them

people always forget he set, like, a record for number of voir dires at a tournament, so he has this reputation as being the weakest of the dream team

he’s such a strong attorney

but oh my god his witness

do not, and I repeat, DO NOT let this man be a witness

he cannot act

he just reverts back to his personality and he has No Inflection

you think the British accent will give you points?

they can’t make up for his inability to maintain a character

Sapnap

this man is fucking PSYCHOTIC whether he is attorney or witness

he goes absolutely feral on crosses and it intimidates witnesses so much, even if they’ve been competing for years

he’s just super good at crosses, but do not put him with an emotional witness because he has this remarkable inability to act comforting

his friends can come to him with anything and they’ll talk about it and he’ll comfort them

but it’s like his emotions turn off as soon as he enters a round

it’s fucking wild

you only put him as a witness if you want that witness to have a) feral characterization, b) sexual undertones, or c) both

his witnesses are infamous every year

he is very good for throwing people off their game with out-of-left-field characters and other teams hate him for it

every single one of his characters dresses up like a frat boy trying to dress for court and it’s so funny

but he still gets other competitors hitting him up after comps, men or women

Do Not try to approach him outside of trial though because he is the definition of a quiet kid if he’s not around his friend

he will be too awkward to talk to you

Karl

I love love love Karl to death, but he is not built to be an attorney

he only plays witness

and he’s really good at it!!

he’s super fun as a witness and he wiggles a lot on answers

attorneys hate that he wiggles a lot because it’s frustrating

but there is nothing they can do about it

he doesn’t get a lot of witness roles, but the ones he does get, he kills 

he gets an absurd amount of thirst posts on the mock trial confessions facebook page

like an absurd amount

it’s become a joke amongst the dream team

there is a tally kept for how many thirst posts Karl gets

he doesn’t even have to compete

people will just see him in the room and become thirsty

an icon truly

it’s because his character outfits are hot as hell, literally all the time 

you have to wear business casual/professional during trial and we all know that Karl would look hot as FUCK in a suit

also everyone in college mock trial is horny

Badboyhalo

bad in mock trial would kill as an attorney

everyone loves bad

even opposing teams

because he’s just so sweet??? for like no reason??? 

he’s done mock trial since freshman year high school and he’s competed against (and earned the respect of) some of the best mockers in the country

he’s notorious for being super kind outside of trial and during pre-trial

but he’s terrifyingly ruthless during trial

he’s similar to dream and george, but he has a much better reputation

there was an anonymous hate message about bad on the mock trial confessions page and there was a crusade to figure out who it was

(his teammates ended up snitching on him because bad is just that beloved)

he definitely received several scholarships because he is just that good

he does not like witness

so he just does not do it

Schlatt

schlatt is the most iconic mocker

like people outside of mock trial know who he is

he’s trended on twitter

he’s really good at every role he plays, even though he plays them to their most feral extremes

he played an expert last year and spent the entire time heavily implying that his character was god

the worst part is he received a witness award for it at

every

single

tournament

every single one

judges would make a point to commend him after matches

every single time his name got announced at closing ceremonies, people died inside

it was extremely amusing for everyone on the dream team

the same year as his maybe-god character, there was a rash of anonymous confessions about schlatt and wilbur soot from another team

a cross between them at competition was so extremely homoerotic that people began shipping them immediately

this is carried on for the entirety of the season

they played into it heavily

there is still an ongoing bet on whether or not they’ve fucked

Quakity

quackity always ends up playing the defendant and always plays them super sus

memes are made about him simply because he is so suspicious every time

he once brought a guitar and attempted to sing his entire direct because his character was a singer

he was asked to leave by the judge immediately

his teammates made him an award titled ‘quickest disqualification in mock trial history’

he treasures it like a child

his teammates love him because he is hilarious

but they also hate him because he always tries to make his characters’ background that they are or were at one point strippers 

no matter if they already have a background laid out by AMTA, alex

he never plays attorney

there is no reason why

he just never does

this became extremely long for absolutely no reason, but I hope you enjoyed it. I wanna do another one for SBI and co, but not right now. I’m writing this at 215 with a Slimecicle video playing the background. I have to be up at 7 for a mock trial tournament

this is helping me cope

[kpop---scenarios]

Temptations

Commissioned by: @blueblondewonhoishot​

Warning: Smut, Angst 

Word Count: 11.2k 

Everyone wants to fall in love, but sometimes love isn't enough to keep you together, and sometimes someone tries to break you apart. 

As the youngest child in your family, you were always the last one to find out anything, especially if it had anything to do with the family business that your grandfather worked so hard to build. 

Being the youngest of 3 had its perks, but honestly there were more disadvantages than anything, considering you were the only girl as you had two older brothers. It was clear since you could remember your father and grandfather groomed your brothers to become the perfect workers, and perfect people to take over the company when they passed. No one ever considered you, because with you being a girl, you were supposed to just get married and have children while being a stay at home mom. 

You weren't here for that life. It had taken you a while of begging for your father to even consider allowing you to work an entry level position in the company at the age of 20, but you were strong willed and determined to prove you had just as much potential and capability to run the company as good, if not better than your brothers. 

When you turned 25, you were made a financial advisor, and you'd finally earned a slight nod of approval from your father. It was the most acknowledgment at work you had gotten from him that wasn't really work related. Today was the best birthday you had, and now nothing was going to get in your way now. 

** 

"Lee Hoseok, graduated top of your class at SNU, majoring in Finance." Mr. Park murmurs. 

"Yes sir." Hoseok nods, holding his head up high. He needed this job, Christ did he need this job. His bills were piling up, his grandmother's hospital bills. She had told him not to worry and that she was handling it while he was in school but now it was just found out she hadn't been handling it. Hoseok's parents weren't around any longer, having taken off when he was younger, so he had no one. His grandma was all that he had, and he would do whatever he needed to do to take care of her. 

"We'll give you a shot. Come back tomorrow, 8am, 6th floor. Ask for Kim Y/N, She'll take care of you." Mr Park says, abruptly leaving Hoseok sitting there, his nerves finally melting away. 

** 

The next day, you excitedly entered the large building of Jangu. Co. You grew up but for the first time it was your first day now as a financial advisor. No more slumming it on the 3rd floor with the Analyst's for you, no, you were now hitting the big leagues on the 6th floor and you couldn't be more excited. 

"Good morning Y/N." The 6th floor secretary, and one of your best friends, Minsu smiles. 

"Ah, yes it is." You reply with a giant smile of your own. 

"Wait." She calls after you. Minsu grabs your wrist, pulling you around the corner before leaning in closely to you. "You're showing someone around today." She whispers, peaking around to make sure no one hears her. 

"What?" You ask, not quite understanding why anyone would choose you, considering this was your first day as well. 

"I don't know specifics, but just that you have to show him around until the advisors meeting at 10am." She finishes shrugging her shoulders before whispering bye as the phones begin to ring. 

You shake off Minsu's words as you walk towards your new office. 

"Oh Y/N!" You hear Minsu again from down the hall. Christ, you just want to make it to your office. Turning around you place a fake smile over your face until you notice she's not alone. Trailing along closely behind her, an extremely well built, handsome man in a tight fitted suit. 

Uncontrollably, you let out a small breathy moan as you attempt to subtly look him up and down. 

"Jesus christ." You whisper to yourself, adjusting your slightly unbuttoned top. 

"This is Park Y/N." Minsu says, bowing to the man before winking at you and taking off. 

"Hello, I'm Lee Hoseok. I was told to find you this morning. " he says. His arms made your pussy throb, and now his voice makes it throb and drip. 

You clear your throat, trying to not make a fool out of yourself. "Yes, that is right. Please head to my office and I will be there in a few minutes." You say in your most professional voice. 

You sounded like an idiot. 

"Where's your office?" He asks. 

Fuck. You didn't even know where it was. 

"Um." You pause. "I'll show you." You tell him, turning down the hall, praying that this was the right way. You look closely at each door, trying to find your name while this man follows you, likely thinking you're a giant fucking idiot. 

"Ms. Kim?" He questions. 

"Yes?" You ask, turning around. 

"Isn't this your office? Kim Y/N?" He asks, pointing to a door half way down the hall from where you currently stood. 

"Oh uh yes, good eye." You say, walking back to him. "It was, uh, test." You murmur opening the door, sneaking by him to see Mr. Park, while trying not to be too embarrassed. 

What was wrong with you? You've never been affected by a man like that before, and suddenly you become a giant mess? Get it together. 

** 

Hoseok couldn't help but laugh at how flustered you got. Honestly, he thought you were adorable, the way you furrowed your eyebrows, the way your cheeks became red when you were flustered and embarrassed. He enjoyed noticing these types of things about women, more specifically women he found attractive. And did he ever find you attractive. He knew he couldn't never act on anything, he needed this job more than anything and he wasn't about to lose it because of anything. He needed to stay focused and do what he was there to do.

Hoseok wanders into your office, wondering where you snuck off too and when you were coming back. He wanted to get straight to work but wasn't entirely sure where he was supposed to go, so he awkwardly sat in one of your chairs, and waited for your return. 

** 

"Mr. Park." You say, walking to his desk. Mr. Park was your father's very trusted secretary, and puppet. He did the dirty work your father didn't want to do, sometimes he wanted to keep his hands clean but Park had zero issues carrying out your father's orders. Honestly he terrified you a bit, but you refused to show it. 

"Ms. Kim. What can I do for you?" He asks, his expression lifeless and cold, as usual. 

"The new guy? What am I supposed to do with him?" You ask, crossing your arms. "This is not how I expected to spend my first day as a financial advisor." 

"Ah yes, Mr. Lee. There's a staff meeting in 10 minutes, please bring him there and I will direct him from there." Mr. Park tells you, looking down to continue his work. 

As you head back to your office, you think about what it would be like to have an office romance. You wondered if he would want to keep it a secret or declare his feelings for you in front of everyone? 

No, stop it. You can't get involved with anyone, you're working your way up the corporate ladder, you can't date anyone, let alone a coworker. 

"You." You say, standing at the door of your office. "Let's go." You finish turning to walk back down the hall. Hoseok quickly stands up, following behind you, but not too close. 

You enter the board room with Hoseok trailing behind you. Picking a seat, he decides to pick the one directly beside you. Your face heats up again. 

"Let's get this done quickly people, there's work to do." Mr. Park says, placing his papers on the table. "We have a new hire, Lee Hoseok." He says, gesturing towards him. "Everyone take care of him. He is our newest financial advisor, who will be working with Ms. Kim for the next few weeks as she shows him the ropes and how to handle the clients." He announces. 

Your eyes almost pop out of your head. Are you working with him for the next few weeks? Closely? You wouldn't.  You couldn't, you actually physically couldn't because you might do something you'd regret. Your attraction to him was very real, and the fact that you might do something was a very real possibility. Usually when you wanted something, you got it and as much as you tried to deny it, you wanted him. You knew you needed to keep your distance, as much as you could. 

"That concludes the meeting, have a productive day." Mr. Park says before abruptly leaving the room. 

"Well, shall we partner?" Hoseok smiles. You just about melt. 

"Y-Yes." You mumble, standing up quickly to walk out of the room. 

"Let's head to my office, you can show me how to set up my things." He smiles, moving to walk in front of you. 

Unfortunately for you, his office happens to be just a few doors down from yours, and you have a perfect view of his desk, you can see your desk from his. 

"Okay, so this is the client list. You can take this half, I'll keep this half." You say, deleting your half so he's not confused. "Your email is here, your phone number here, clients info is in this folder here." You say, showing him everything on his computer. 

"And this.." you begin before being interrupted by Hoseok's phone loudly ringing. He quickly declines the call, placing it back in his pocket before he pays attention again. He leans over you in the chair, pointing to something on the screen. Though as he leans, his hard chest lands on your shoulder, sending a shock through your body and slight wetness to your panties.  

He was about to say something to you, when his phone began ringing again. Once again, he declined the call but almost immediately it rang again. 

"You should probably get that if it's going to keep ringing." You say, standing up from his desk. 

"I apologize, Ms. Kim." He says, before answering the phone. 

"Hello?" He whispers as you walk out of the room, back to your office. 

"Ms. Kim!" You hear a voice before your very best friend saunters into your office with a mischievous smirk on her face. 

"How may I help you, Chae?" You ask with a small laugh. 

"New hottie. What's his deal?" She asks, sitting on your desk. "He is a goddamn snack!" She yells loud enough for surely the entire floor to hear. "Give me all the info." 

"I don't know anything. I'm a professional." You say, pulling your jacket down. 

"Professional my ass." She snorts. "Speaking of asses, did you see his ass? It's like a double layer cake, that I would love to eat, lord." She groans, mimicking a biting motion.

You can't help but laugh because she was absolutely right. The ass on him made you slightly jealous, but also made you hot. He was definitely one hot piece of ass. Seconds later, there's a knock on your door frame, and there stands Hoseok. You and Chae's laughing comes to a quick stop as you stare at him, trying to figure out if he heard or not. 

"Ladies." He smirks. 

He definitely heard. 

"Would you like to join me for lunch?" He asks, cocking his head to the side. 

Fuck. 

"I think we're.." you begin to say before Chae so rudely interrupts you. 

"We would love to. Let's go!" She says, hopping off the desk and shakes his hand while being extra flirty. 

"Okay.." you finish, muttering it to yourself. "Let's go I guess." 

**

As the three of you sit at a table and wait for your food, Chae begins to ask Hoseok a list of questions. She starts off easy as usual and then she will begin the tougher, more intimate questions. 

"Where were you born?" She asks. 

"Busan." He answers. 

"Nickname?" 

"Wonho." 

"Family?" 

"Mom, dad, and two older sisters." He smiles. 

"Interesting. Y/N has two older brothers." She says, nudging your arm. 

"Girlfriend?" She asks. 

Hoseok looks uncomfortable, but lucky for him, the food arrives, saving him from having to answer her question. 

The table goes quiet as you all enjoy your food. Hoseok adjusts his legs under the table, accidentally brushing his knee against yours. Your head shoots up to look at him, only to already be met by his eyes, locked on your face. He smirks before winking at you and then continuing to eat his food. 

You feel like your heart might actually beat out of your chest. Your face gets flushed again as the memory of what he just did plays over and over in your head, making you blush a little harder each time you think about it. 

"Right, Y/N?" You hear Chae say, bringing you out of your daze. 

"What?" You say, coming back to the real world. 

"It's customary to take new hires out for celebratory drinks on the Friday of their first week." She winks at you. Clearly Hoseok had seen it, because he began to chuckle. 

"Yes, yep, it's tradition." You shrug with a smile. 

"Okay, I'm in." He laughs, taking another bite of his food.

You couldn't wait for Friday.  

That night you went home and did whatever you could to try to erase the thought of Hoseok from your mind. You didn't need this kind of distraction, or temptation if you would. But no matter what you did, your brain wouldn't let him leave. 

As you doze off to sleep, your brain decides what better way to get rid of him than to have a sex dream about him. 

You're standing inside the supply closet, the door propped open behind you. You're looking for paper for your printer, when you feel a body pressed up against you, and something hard in your backside. 

"You've been such a tease today." Wonho grunts, wrapping his arm around you, grabbing tightly to your shirt with both hands before ripping it open, buttons flying everywhere.

Your breath hitches as he cups your breasts, grinding his cock into your ass.

"Naughty girls need to be pushed." He spits, pulling your skirt over your ass before undoing his belt to pull down his pants. 

"You ready baby?" He grunts, coating his cock in some spit, pumping himself before lining himself up with your entrance. 

Your hands reach up, grabbing whatever shelf you could as Hoseok rams his cock into your pussy, not letting you adjust to his size. He continuously pulls himself out before pushing back in, stretching out your walks. 

"Won't tease me again, will you?" He grunts. 

"If this is my punishment, I definitely will." You breathe, as Hoseok's large hand wraps around your neck, squeezing tightly. 

"I want you to cum all over my cock." He growls. 

Beep

Beep

Beep

Unfortunately for you, the second before you came, you were woken up by the sound of your lovely alarm clock. 

You never did finish that dream.

As the week went on, you found yourself staring across the hall at Hoseok, daydreaming about what it would be like to hear him moan. How big his cock was, if he was any good at eating pussy. More than once he caught you staring, and only smiled in response. 

Everytime the two of you were in the same room, you swore you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. If you had it your way, you'd happily have him swipe everything off yours or his desk and fuck you senseless in the office, but unfortunately for you fucking your coworker during working hours was against company policy, you were sure. 

** 

When Friday finally rolled around, and you were all done work, you were sitting at a table with your coworkers surrounding you, while you each had a shot and a drink in front of you, as you all laughed at some lame joke someone made. You loved that you got along so well with everyone, but you were having a hard time concentrating while Hoseok sat beside you, especially since every time he moved, his leg brushed against yours. When he would adjust his pants, his finger would lightly graze along your bare thigh. You made sure to wear a short, yet work appropriate skirt that day. 

Your breath hitches as the last graze lasted a few minutes longer than the others. 

"I'll be back. Bathroom break." You breathed to everyone at the table, needing to get yourself together. 

You stood with your hands on the sink as you took a few deep breaths, giving yourself a small pep talk in the bathroom mirror. "You've got this. He is your coworker, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Get ahold of yourself, Y/N." You growl to yourself. 

Taking one more breath, you pull the door open, only to be met with a pair of strong hands on your shoulders, pushing you into the wall. You look up to see a dark eyes Hoseok, breathing heavily. 

"What are you doing to me?" He pants in your ear,  pressing his body against yours. "I can't control myself around you." He groans. 

"Then don't." You whisper. 

Hoseok leans in closer to you, his luscious lips almost pressed against yours. 

"I can't." He breathes, smacking his hand against the wall beside you, frustrated. "I'm sorry." He finishes before walking away. 

You stand against the wall for a few seconds, trying to figure out what just happened and why he left. You shake your head as you walk back to the table, noticing Hoseok wasn't there. 

"Where'd he go?" You ask Chae. 

"He took off. Something about having to be up early." She shrugs. 

You wondered if maybe you had done something wrong? Maybe telling him to let go around you freaked him out? Maybe he had a girlfriend? All the possibilities ran through your head all weekend as you went over every detail, trying to figure out where it went wrong. 

The weekend came and gone, as quickly as it began. You laid in your bed Sunday night, wondering what Monday was going to look like. Would it be awkward or uncomfortable? Would he ignore you? Maybe act like nothing happened, although would it really be acting considering nothing truly did happen. 

You fell asleep that night worried about what the next day would bring. 

** 

All morning Hoseok's office door had been closed, and he never left, giving you zero chance of speaking with him. You could just go and knock on his door, but you didn't want to disturb him or make the situation worse, so you left it alone.

You didn't see him Tuesday either. 

Wednesday afternoon, you were lucky enough to be awarded a lovely visit from Mr. Park. 

"Ms. Kim, you're going to be heading the Jung case with Mr. Lee. Do a good job on this. You'll be presenting to Mr. Jung and the board on Friday." He says, leaving without giving you a chance to ask any questions, like did you have to work with Hoseok? You didn't do well in awkward situations. 

Taking a deep breath, you stand up from your chair to make your way to Hoseok's office. You try to shake your nerves off while you stand right outside his door. You knock three times, gently, trying to not seem too eager. 

"Oh." He says. "I wasn't expecting to see you." He admits. 

"Yes well here I am." You laugh. "Mr. Park has put us on the Jung case." You tell him.

"I'm on that case? He's one of the biggest clients. The commission is huge?" He says, his eyes wide. 

"I know. We have until Friday and then we have to present to the board." You tell him. 

"That's barely 2 days." He says, worried. 

"I know. So we better get started." You tell him. 

** 

Friday came quickly, and so did the slot for your presentation. Hoseok had assured you that the two of you did an outstanding job and everyone would love it. You just hoped he was right. 

"..and that concludes our proposal for Mr. Jung." You say, finishing off the presentation that you and Hoseok had worked so hard to complete.  

As it turns out, your hard work seemed to have paid off, because Mr. Jung was thoroughly impressed with what you and Hoseok had come up with for him regarding his finances and agreed to go with the plan. 

"Celebrate?" You asked Hoseok. He happily nodded his head and the two of you set out to your favorite spot for dinner and a drink. 

One drink happened to turn into two, and then three, and continued to where the two of you were currently on your fourth drink, having finished your dinner hours ago the two of you were already slightly drunk. 

"I have a confession." He says. "I like you. I've liked you since I first saw you." He says, finishing his drink before putting his hand up for another one. 

You smile as you down the rest of your drink, going to admit the same thing to him. "I like you too." You whisper. 

"Then what are we doing? Two people who like each other should be together!" He slurs. 

"I agree Hoseok." You giggle. 

"Call me Wonho." He smirks. "Can I take you home with me tonight?" He asks. 

"Please take me home." You say. He puts out his hand for you to grab. Happily you take it, after hell places some bills on the table to cover the evening. 

You're both silent in the cab back to his apartment, not touching each other. Wonho slowly guides his hand over the seat, sliding it over your hand. He curls his fingers, holding your hand before pulling you towards him. 

Wonho leans in, going to press his lips to yours, but before he can, the cab driver pulls to the side, telling you that you were now at your destination. 

Nervously, you get out of the cab, standing on the sidewalk as you wait for Wonho to finish paying. Once he does, he grabs your hand, leading you inside and to the elevator. The doors open, and Wonho pulls you in, you two being the only ones riding the elevator up. 

Wonho turns to face you, walking towards you, making you back up until you hit the wall. "I've wanted to do this for so long." He growls leaning his head in close to yours, finally allowing his plump lips to press against yours. Within seconds, he slips his tongue into your mouth, both of you eagerly needing each other. Wonho bends down slightly, placing his large hands behind your thighs, signaling you to jump. You happily comply as you wrap your legs around his waist, never breaking the kiss. 

The elevator doors open, you're on his floor but he doesn't set you down. Instead, he carries you to his apartment, unlocking his door and heading inside with you still wrapped around him. He makes it to the kitchen before he places you on the counter, standing in between your legs. 

Wonho stands back from you, appreciating you before beginning to unbutton your shirt. Wonho never breaks eye contact as he unbuttoned the last one, sliding your shirt over your shoulders and down your arms, leaving you in your bra. He slides his hands around your back, unhooking your bra before discarding it on the kitchen floor. 

He smiles as he leans his head down, cupping your breast, lifting it up to gently place a nipple in his mouth, sucking harshly. 

"God." You moan, throwing your head back. 

You raise your hands, running your fingers through his soft hair. You slowly push him away from you, sliding yourself off the counter, allowing your tits to bounce slightly before you get onto your knees. 

You lick your lips as you unbuckle Wonho's belt, and unbutton his pants, shimmying them down his legs, along with his boxers. 

"Ooh." you squeal as his cock springs free, pre cum dripping from his red tip. You tilt your head up, looking him in the eye as you lick the cum from his cock before placing it in your mouth, sucking a few times before taking in as much as him as you can. 

"Shit baby." he groans, throwing his head back. 

Pulling him almost out of your mouth, Wonho thrusts his hips forward, shoving his cock down your throat, causing you to choke a little. 

"Fuck." he moans, letting you swallow his cock a few more times before pulling himself from your warm mouth, and standing you up. He bends you flat over the counter before spreading your legs wide. He drags your skirt and your pants down, over your ass and down to the floor. 

Wonho gently sticks his fingers inside your pussy, pumping them in and out before reaching up a little more to rub your clit. 

"Oh my god." You cry out, your legs shaking as he hits the perfect spot, each time. 

"I'm going to fuck you." He groans, pulling his hand away from your clit. 

You stand up and turn around, placing your hands on his shoulders to bring him down to the floor. Wonho lays down on the kitchen floor as you step over him before bending down and lining his cock. You line yourself up with him, slowly sinking down on his cock as he spreads your pussy, stretching you out. 

"Fuck." you both cry out. You slowly start rocking your hips back and forth, making sure to rub your clit on his pubic bone as you ride him. 

With a smile on your face, you adjust yourself, placing your feet on the floor, you begin bouncing on his cock, making him moan louder. 

"Holy shit." he cries out. 

You lean yourself back, placing your hands on his legs as you continue to bounce yourself on his cock. He reaches his hand up, rubbing your clit with two fingers. 

It doesn't take long for you to cum all over his cock, your eyes rolling back into your head. 

Wonho groans at the sight of you, removing his hand from your clit and pinching your nipple instead. 

Minutes later, Wonho cums, spilling it all inside of you. As you take yourself off of him, his cum seeps down your leg as he shows you to the bathroom. You both clean yourselves up quick before collapsing in his bed, falling asleep instantly. 

The next morning you woke up, Wonho's muscular arm draped over your body. You bite your lip and smile at the memory of what happened between the two of you last night. Although you were both drunk, you remembered it all and it couldn't have been better. 

"Good morning, beautiful." Wonho mumbles, his eyes still closed as he nuzzles his head into your neck. 

"Good morning." You respond, rolling over and wrapping your arm around him. 

"Breakfast?" He asks, his voice muffled. 

"What would you like?" You ask. 

"Let's make breakfast together." He suggests. 

Your heart flutters. 

"Okay. Let's do it." You smile. 

That morning, you and Wonho spent your time together making a large breakfast, that the two of you could barely eat. Eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, toast, pancakes. It was a meal that could feed an army, but the two of you had so much fun making it together. There were plenty of kisses shared between the two of you, along with your favorite back hugs. You could feel yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him with every second that you spent with him, and now you'd finally decided to stop fighting it and just let yourself be happy. 

You and Wonho spent the entire day together. You watched movies, talked for hours, learning all about eachother. You even told him about your father and who he was. You had thought he would have been mad or uncomfortable with the thought of dating his boss's daughter, but to your surprise he was okay. You both agreed to leave your relationship out of the office, strictly professional. 

"Relationship?" You giggled. "What, are we dating now?" You laughed. It was Sunday afternoon and the two of you had spent the entire weekend together. 

"We are. That is if you would take me as your boyfriend?" Wonho smiles. 

"Of course." You laugh. 

He laughs as he cups your face, leaning down to gently place a kiss on your lips. 

You couldn't believe he was yours, and this was your life. 

You were in complete bliss, for a while until everything began crumbling before you. 

The first few weeks of your relationship with Wonho was amazing, you kept it professional at work and passionate outside of work. Things were just working out perfectly for you both, until a rumor started going around the office about the two of you. There was only one person you knew who was into office gossip, and she just happened to be your best friend. 

"Chae." You start, standing by her in the break room. 

"Oh hey! Is it true?" She asks with a smile, wiggling her eyebrows. 

"Did you start it?" You ask. 

"Start what?" She says. 

"The rumor." 

In a split second she began looking uncomfortable. As much of a gossip as she was, she was a terrible liar and a dead giveaway.

"I'm sorry! I saw you guys out for dinner, and I told Minsu but told her not to tell anyone!" She exclaims. "But she did and then it just spread." She finishes, looking apologetic but at the moment you didn't care. No one needed to know about your personal life and you thought it was pretty shitty of her to say anything in the first place instead of coming to talk to you. 

"I really am sorry.." she whispers. 

"Yeah, so am I." You mumble, leaving the room and heading to Wonho's office. 

"There's a rumor about us." You pout as you close his door. 

"I know." He smiles. 

"Everyone knows." You say. 

"I know that too." He laughs, looking back at his work. 

"What are we going to do?" You ask, slumping down in the chair. 

"What do you mean? Who cares if everyone knows? I love you. I want the world to know that I'm with the most amazing, sexy, smartest, funniest woman, and she's all mine." He smirks. "I want all the guys to be jealous you're mine, and all the women jealous I'm yours baby." 

Out of all of that, there were only 3 words that you heard. 

"I love you." 

"You love me?" You whisper. Wonho freezes and looks at you a little shocked. He really didn't think you would have caught that. Was it too early? You had only known each other for a few weeks but he had never felt like this about any woman before. He knew you were the one the moment he set his eyes on you, the one he was going to marry, the one he was going to have children with, the one he was going to grow old and grey with. Watching your children get married, have their own children. He could picture it all with you by his side. 

"I do love you." He says confidently. 

"I love you too." You whisper, smiling while you lean in for a kiss, squishing his cheeks together with your hands. 

If this is what love felt like, you never wanted it to end. 

** 

"It seems as though Mr. Lee and Y/N are in a relationship, sir." Mr. Park tells your father, CEO Kim. 

"Mhm. I see." Your father says, sitting behind his desk contemplating his next move. "Keep an eye on him. Report back to me asap." He finishes.

Mr. Park bows at your father before heading off to keep an eye on Hoseok. He knew your father wanted something on him, and whatever he wanted Mr. Park would do. 

** 

"I've got to get back to work. I'll see you later?" You ask, lingering by the door of Wonho's office. 

"Yes. Let's go for dinner?" He asks. 

"Absolutely." You smile, walking from his office back to your own. 

Once Wonho was alone, he picks up his cell phone, dialing a number but first checking to make sure you were out of ear shot.  

"Hi." He speaks into the phone. "Yeah of course I'll see you tonight. I've just got something to do first and then I'll be over there." He says. "Yes I know. I'll bring it don't worry. I love you too." He finishes, hanging up the phone. Wonho begins typing on his computer, not noticing the man who heard everything walking away from his office, and directly to the office of CEO Kim. 

**

"It seems as though he might have someone else, sir." Mr. Park says. "I overheard him on the phone." 

"Look into his background. Dig up whatever you can." CEO Kim tells him. 

"Yes sir." 

** 

Over the next few days, Wonho becomes a little distant and closed off, not speaking to you much, constantly on his phone and distracted. Everytime you tried to speak with him, he either had to run off on an errand, had a meeting or had to take a call. You had barely seen him, and hadn't slept in his bed with him in a week. 

You were confused. Had you done something to piss him off? Was he in some sort of trouble? 

The next day, you'd finally caught a glimpse of him sitting in his office, typing. No phone call, no meeting, nothing. You walked over there determined for answers. You push the door closed before sitting down in the chair across from his desk. 

"What's going on?" You ask bluntly. "You've been ignoring me and very secretive. Did I do something?" You ask. 

"What?" He asks, confused. "No you haven't done anything. I've just been dealing with some stuff baby, but it's done now." He smiles. 

"It is? Are you sure?" You ask to clarify. 

"Absolutely. I love you, I would tell you if something was bothering me." He laughs. He turns away from you as his work phone rings loudly. 

"Hello? Okay. Okay. Be right there." He says before hanging up. "Okay baby, I have a meeting. Dinner tonight? I'll meet you at Rizo's." He smiles, placing a kiss on your head before taking off. 

You couldn't wait to spend some time with him tonight, hopefully either stay at his apartment or have him come over to yours, since it was the weekend. Either one would work, as long as you were with him. 

** 

5:30pm rolled around, and you left work in a happy mood and headed to the restaurant. 

6:15pm, you sat at the restaurant, waiting for Wonho to arrive. 

6:45pm, you call his phone only for him to not pick up. 

7:30pm, you try calling one more time, only to be sent straight to voicemail.

8:00pm, you finally gave up waiting and went home. 

You checked your phone constantly, but heard nothing from him that night. 

Waking up in the morning, you check your notifications, yet none of them are from him. You can't help but have a terrible feeling in your stomach, like something happened. You try calling him again, and it went to voicemail. 

You call him again, and this time he answers. He sounds tired and annoyed. "What?" He snaps. 

"What are you doing? Are you okay? You didnt show up last night." You whisper. 

"I'm fine. Look, stop calling, just leave me alone." He growls before hanging up the phone. 

Frustrated and annoyed, you get up to get dressed quickly and make your way over to his apartment. What the hell happened to make him change his mind so fast? Why was he being so harsh to you? What have you done? 

40 minutes later, you're standing outside his front door, your hand up ready to pound on the door. 

Knock

Knock

Knock 

Within seconds, the door swings open, revealing a long haired beauty. 

"Can I help you?" She asks with a smile. 

Oh god you think. 

"W-Wonho?" you stutter. She was stunning. Was she his girlfriend? Fiancee? Friend? 

"Hey!" She yelled behind her. "There's a girl here for you. She looks sad." She says, giving you a sympathetic smile, that you didn't notice. 

"What are you doing here? He snaps. 

"What is wrong? What happened?" You ask. 

"Nothing happened. Christ, you're so fucking clingy. Leave me alone." He shouts. 

The girl behind him muffled a laugh as he began snapping at you. Your eyes dart over to her, giving her a confused look as she smirks at you. You try to shake it off, remembering you're there to get answers from Wonho. 

"Why didn't you show up yesterday? Something happened! You told me you loved me before making dinner plans with me!" You yell. You didn't understand how he could change his tune so drastically. 

"I lied. I don't love you. Never did. I used you to further my career, but look at what that got me. Nothing, except a clingy bitch. Now leave me the fuck alone." He spits, going back inside and slamming the door in your face. The tears that had been previously threatening to fall, spilled down your cheeks. 

Why.. how could he change his mind so quickly? He had spent the nights with you telling you his plans for the future, including you in all of them. He told you he loved you, you were the one, he didn't want to be without you. 

And now he's telling you it was all a lie, that he used you. 

Your heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces. You could barely see out the windshield as you drove back to your apartment. Your tears refused to let up, just as your heart refused to repair even a little bit. 

** 

Wonho slid down the door after he had slammed it in your face, his head in his hands as he let his own tears fall freely.

"Who was that?" Yoomi asks, crossing her arms.

"None of your concern." Wonho snaps. "Did you pay grandma's hospital bills with the money I gave you?" 

"Yes I did. Where did you get 14 million Won anyways?" She asks. 

"Again, none of your concern." He spits, walking to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him. He didn't have the energy for her today. 

** 

The weekend for you was nothing but a blur. After you had gotten home on Saturday morning, you cried and slept, and cried more and slept. You were pretty sure you didn't eat anything, drink anything, or even leave your bed. You were a disaster, a heartbroken mess of a woman and you had no idea how to get out of it. 

Even though you wanted to lay in bed forever, and forget the world, you got up Monday morning and put on an outfit that said professional, but was the least professional outfit you owned. You gave no fucks today. You left your hair alone, not giving shit as you looked in the mirror. Your eyes were so red and puffy, absolutely noticeable you had been crying. 

You did your best to cover up your eyes, but even makeup couldn't hide what a mess you were, so you said fuck it and decided to scare everyone today. 

**

Sitting in your office, you glance at your clock and it's only 11am. You want to die. Everytime you heard footsteps going down the hall your stomach dropped in fear that it was Wonho, but you hadn't seen him yet. 

Yet, and you spoke far too soon. You looked down for a brief second and looked out the door when you lifted your head, and there was Wonho, standing outside his door staring into your office. You thought you saw his face twist in pain slightly, but you could have been wrong since it went back to being ice cold in a split second. 

You could feel the tears slipping again, and you refused to let him see you cry again. You quickly log off your computer and grab your phone and purse, not caring about anything else before walking out of your office, past Wonho and to the elevators. You needed to get the fuck out of there and grab a drink. 

Thank god for the bar down the street. 

**

Glancing at your phone, you're a little shocked to see it's already 7pm and you've been drinking for 7 hours. Unlocking your phone, you decide to message one person back, the one person you knew would be here within 10 minutes if you asked her too. 

"Fucking Chae, telling Minsu about Wonho and I.. it's her fault. She's the reason he left me." You mumble to yourself. 

"Bitch!" You hear from across the bar. "What the fuck happened?" Chae asks as she sits across the table from you. 

"Bitch? You're the bitch." You spit. Chae's taken aback. 

"What?" She asks, confused. "What did I do?" 

"You and your loud fucking mouth had to tell Minsu about Wonho and I. You're the reason he fucking left me. Maybe if you sucked a few more cocks you wouldn't have time to gossip about me." You slur, flipping her off before standing up and staggering out of the bar.

Sober you knew that Chae and her big ass mouth had nothing to do with you and Wonho breaking up, you were sure there were much bigger issues than that but she was there and easy for you to take your aggression out on. 

You knew you shouldn't have done it, even plastered you knew you were wrong but it all came out like word vomit that you would most definitely have to apologize for another day. You cried a little more as you staggered to your apartment, flopping on your bed. 

You weren't going to work tomorrow. 

Instead when you woke up, you ate all the junk food you could find in your house before ordering more, along with more alcohol. 

This was how you spent your week. Binge eating junk food, drinking and crying while watching couples get together in your favorite Korean Dramas. 

"Fuck you Hyungsik for getting your happily ever after." You bawled. "Where's mine!?" You cried, throwing your bag of cheeseballs at the TV. 

To say you were a wreck, was a heavy understatement. 

On Sunday you were feeling a little better and had decided you were going back to work on Monday, but as you were trying to decide what to wear, everything looked like it would be too small. Surely you hadn't gained that much. You stepped on your scale, and almost fainted. In your one week of being home and bringing, you had gained 15lbs. Usually, it's not the end of the world but you were nowhere near mentally strong enough to deal with that much of a weight gain in such a short time. 

You ran to your phone, dialing the number of someone you knew could help you. 

"Chang-wook? I'm hiring you, starting tomorrow morning. Jaggu. Co gym, 6am. See you then." You finish, hanging up the phone. 

Ji Chang-Wook was an old friend of yours, one that you're not afraid to admit you found him wildly attractive but he was more like a brother to you than anything else. He had the body of a god and could easily help you get back into shape. You didn't want to be this girl, torn apart after a break up. You repeated the quote your mother always told you to live by. "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours and if it doesn't, it never was." 

If Wonho was meant to be yours, he would come back to you but you needed to give it time and show that you were doing okay while you waited. 

** 

Monday morning rolled around far too early for your liking. You cursed yourself for binge eating but more so cursed yourself for calling drill sergeant Changwook. 

"You're late." He exclaims as you walk into the already busy gym.  

"Bite me." You snap back. Your eyes scan your surroundings, and just your luck, Wonho is standing in front of the large mirror, pumping what you can only assume are the biggest weights in the building. "Shit." You whisper, turning around. 

"Why are you attempting to hide?" ChangWook asks, looking you up and down.

"My ex is over there." You whisper, jerking your head in Wonho's direction. "The one pumping iron and the reason why I'm in this situation currently." You finish bitterly. 

"Okay, well let's get working." He says, placing a loud and hard slap on your ass, causing you to yelp and Wonho to turn and look to see you laughing with ChangWook. 

"Shithead." You murmur as he drags you over to the treadmill, making you run for 45 minutes straight, without a break. 

When you're done he drags you over to weights, and other machines you wish you could name but honestly you weren't paying attention. Part of you just didn't care, but the other, larger part was too focused on what Wonho was doing, and the fact that the two of you continuously made secret, discreet and flirty eye contact. You were pretty sure, well you hoped it wasn't all in your head. 

After spending all day in the gym, which turned out to only be an hour and a half, you said goodbye to the man who would be responsible for your death and went to collapse in the shower for a few. 

When you finally felt like you'd survive, you got dressed for your day at work, hoping the rest of your day was a little easier than your morning. 

And it was. You only saw Wonho four times throughout the day, and only cried three out of the four times, so you were making progress. 

The next few days were hard, you had to work semi closely with the man you once saw a bright and beautiful future with, while he acts like he doesn't have a clue in the world as to who you were. That hurt the most, the pretending you two had nothing but you still wanted him. Despite all he said to you, or did to you, you still loved him. 

"Ms. Kim, you'll be paired with Mr. Lee for this project. You all need to present tomorrow morning, and Mrs. Seo will choose her advisor after the meeting. Work hard." Mr. Park announces before taking off immediately after he ends the meeting. 

"What the fuck." You whispered under your breath. You were annoyed you had to work with him, things were going very well with you and him by keeping your distance. You didn't want to have to actually speak to him or work with him, but you didn't have a choice now, did you? 

"Should we go to my office or.." Wonho quietly asks, standing behind you. 

"Mine." You snap, standing up quickly and stalking off. 

Wonho silently shuffles behind you, keeping his distance from you but also keeping pace. 

You sit down in your office chair as Wonho pulls one up to your desk, ready to work. 

"So I think if we went with this approach, it would absolutely save her more money in the long run." Wonho suggests. 

"Oh would it? Would it save her more money? Thanks so much for your input." You snap. 

You knew you should be professional, you knew you were being a shithead but you couldn't help it. He was acting like he didn't tear your heart out and stop on it before chopping it into pieces with an axe. 

"I'm sorry.. I was just.." he starts. 

"No it's fine. I'm sorry. It's a great idea. Let's go with that." You say. 

The next thing you know, it's 2am, and you and Wonho are still working, although almost done. 

"End it like this?" He asks. 

"Yeah, that's good." You say with a yawn. Standing up from your chair you stretch your body, bending over to stretch out your back while forgetting your skirt happened to be one of the shorter ones you owned, that just happened to slide up ever so slightly over your ass. 

Wonho's breath hitched as he watched your skirt slide over the curve of your ass. "Shit." He murmured, feeling his cock twitch in his pants. Without thinking, he walks towards you, biting his lip as he gently presses his semi hard cock to your back side. 

You stand straight up, shocked. You try to walk away but Wonho wraps his arm around your waist, keeping you against him. He places his head in the crook of your neck, taking in a deep whiff of your scent. 

"Fuck, I miss you." He sniffles into your hair. 

"Then why.. why did you.." you start before Wonho backs away from you. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.. I can't." He mumbles, grabbing his briefcase and taking off. 

You went home that night and cried yourself to sleep. 

Wonho went home and cried in the shower, his cock still hard at the memory of being so close to, pressed up against your ass. He knew this would be hard, but he really didn't think it would be this hard. 

"Mr. Lee, thank you for joining us." CEO Kim says as he sits across from him and Mr. Park. 

"Of course, how may I help?" Wonho asks. 

"Your grandma is fairly sick, isn't she?" CEO Kim asks. 

Wonho is slightly taken aback, he wasn't aware anyone else besides family knew about his grandma. 

"She is." He answers. 

"Now, what's your relationship with my daughter?" CEO Kim asks, his face now becoming more stern. 

"Oh, um, we are in a relationship." He announces. He wasn't sure if he should have said anything, but truthfully it was his boss and your father, he couldn't lie. 

"I see." CEO Kim says, clearing his throat. "My Y/N is a sweet girl. Smart, kind, passionate and comes from a well off family. She needs to be with someone more like her, which is why I have her husband picked out already." 

"You're marrying her off?" Wonho asks, shocked. "Does she know?" 

"No she doesn't know. And she won't know until everything is ready. Her and Park Seojoon will be happy once they learn to love each other, but we have an obstacle. You." He says, pointing at Wonho. "She can't be with you. So you're going to end things with her." 

"I-I can't do that." Wonho says, standing up. 

"You can and you will. Do you enjoy living in the apartment you're in? Because one call from me, I can have you evicted with nowhere else to rent. I can fire you from this job and stop you from getting any other job in your field, you'll be slinging burgers for $5 and hour. I'll also tell her about your dirty little secrets" He threatens. "You're sweet grandma, you're very behind on her hospital bills. Agree to my terms, and your debt is covered, along with all payments every month to the hospital. Your job is safe and so is your housing. What do you say?" 

"Fine." Wonho agrees, he has no choice. 

"I don't care what you tell her, or how you tell her. End things permanently."

Without another word, Wonho walks out of his office, ignoring your calls to see where he was for dinner. Ignoring the fact that he should be at the restaurant with you, not planning to destroy you. What choice did he have? 

** 

"Hello?" You answer your phone in the morning, feeling like it was far too early to be getting a call. 

"Y/N, come for breakfast this morning." Your mother says. 

"Is it necessary?" You groan. 

"Yes. Now please. And look presentable." She says. "Love you." 

Click.

Great, a breakfast can only mean one thing. You're in for quite the surprise. 

** 

"Thank you for showing up in a timely manner." Your mother says, giving you a quick hug.

"What's this about mom?" You ask, your stomach nervous. 

"Just eat, Y/N." You father says, keeping an eye on the door. 

A few seconds later the door opens, revealing a very attractive man in a suit. He looked to be about your age, maybe a few years older. 

"SeoJoon! Thanks for coming." Your father laughs, standing up to hug the man. 

"Y/N, this is Park SeoJoon. He's the heir to Park Foods, and.." your father pauses, looking at your mother. "Your future husband." He finishes. 

You choke, you choked on your melon as soon as your father said the word husband. 

"I'm sorry, WHAT?" You partially yell. "Nice to meet you, but no?" 

"Y/N.." your mother starts. 

"Don't Y/N." your father growls. "Be kind to your future husband." 

"I'm not? I'm.. sorry, but again no. Every Time you've brought this up I've told you I'm not marrying someone for financial gain, or for company mergers. I'm marrying for love." you say.

"You'll end up loving him eventually.." your mother sighs. 

"I'm not in it for eventually. I want the reason that I marry someone to be because we love each other, not because we're forced." you sigh. "In fact, there's already someone I would love to marry." you finish with a whisper. 

Your mother perks up at your announcement, while your father seems angry. "You better not be talking about that new hire!" he yells, slamming his fist on the table. 

"I am actually." you spit back. 

"That's over. I took care of that! it didn't take much for him to leave you! Some threats, and a few million dollars? He's weak! SeoJoon is the one for you!" He yells. 

"You took care of that?" you ask, tears brimming in your eyes. 

"Oh Hyunjo, you didn't.." your mother gasps. 

"That's why he left me? Because you threatened him to the point he was terrified and took some money?" You laugh, but the humor is nowhere to be found. "I always knew you did some shady shit, but this is low, even for you." You cry. "I'm your daughter! And you treat me like my life means nothing. I can't believe you." 

Without a second thought, and ignoring the pleas from your mother, you burst through the front doors of the house and went straight for your car. You have one destination in mind, and you hoped he was home when you got there. 

** 

Arriving at Wonho's apartment, you violently bang on his front door, yelling for him. 

"What?" the woman who was there last time answers. 

"Is he here?" you ask. 

"I don't know. But what I do know is that you should leave now." She says. 

"Wonho!" You yell again. "I know about the threats and the money from my father! Please, talk to me." you yell over her. 

Seconds later Wonho comes into view, moving past the woman that had been there previously. 

"You know?" He whispers. 

"I do..and I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me!?" You cried. "I could have helped you!" 

"I didn't know what to say. How do you tell someone you love their father threatened them and paid off a large amount of debt and hospital bills? That's not something that comes easy to say over dinner or drinks." He tells you. 

"I get it. I just wish I could have prevented it." you cry. "I could have done something." you sigh.

Wonho doesn't say anything, but instead pulls you into him, tightly wrapping his arms around you, holding you close. 

"I'm sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean it." he whispers, nuzzling his face into your head. "I have never, for one second stopped loving you. It broke me to say those things to you, to physically see your heart break. I'll never forgive myself for that." He finishes. 

"It's not your fault. It's my nosy ass father, who by the way, tried to marry me off today." You scoff. 

"Oh, so you met SeoJoon?" He asks. 

You back away from him. "You knew?" 

"Kinda? I guess? He told me there was someone he wanted for your husband, but we didn't dive in any deeper than that." Wonho replies. 

"Same shit. Christ. He's psychotic." You grumble. 

"Come on." Wonho laughs, grabbing your hand to drag you inside. 

Immediately your body stiffened as you remembered the girl that's been here far too often for your liking. 

"Soya!" Wonho shouts. 

"What do you want?" She asks, coming face to face with you. 

"This is my girlfriend, the love of my life, now please get the fuck out." Wonho smiles at the woman who now looks offended. 

"You're seriously kicking me out?" She scoffs. 

"I seriously am." Wonho laughs. 

"Nice to meet you girlfriend, I'm his sister, Soya. And I'll be going now I guess." She snaps, grabbing her jacket and storming out. 

"That's your sister?" You ask, relieved. 

"Yes? Who did you think it was?" He wonders. 

"A wife or fiancee." You laugh, feeling stupid now. 

"You're the only one I want to be my fiance and then my wife." Wonho smiles, placing both his hands on your face and pulling you in for a kiss. 

Fuck you missed him so much. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pulled your body in close. 

"Come" you whisper, pulling away from him and grabbing his hand to drag him to the bedroom. 

You close the door, before facing Wonho with a loving smile on your face. 

"What?" He laughs. 

"I just missed you, and I want to show you how much I missed you." You whisper, gripping the hem of his shirt before pulling it over his body and throwing it out of your way. Placing your hands on his chest, you lightly push him back to fall onto his bed. Wonho moves himself up the bed, laying on his stomach while he waits for what you're going to do next. You quickly discard your shirt and bra, while also tossing your pants to the side, leaving you only in a pair of black panties. 

"I want you to tell me what you want, and how you want it. Okay?" You whisper, placing kisses along his back. "This is all about you."

"You don't have to do this baby." Wonho groans as you run your hands up and down his back. 

"I do. Now shhh." You whisper, stroking his shoulders and around his neck. You run your fingers up the back of his head and through his hair, tugging lightly. 

You move yourself down his body, straddling his ass, so you can lay yourself flat against his back, peppering small kisses along his shoulders and his neck. Your perky breasts pinned against his back as you whisper some of the things you love about him. 

"I love your smile, your eyes, your laugh." You whisper. "I love your arms, your abs, your voice. So handsome, so strong." 

Sitting up, you rub your hands down his arms that are now spread out. You lay yourself against him again before you slide off, laying closely beside him. Wonho rolls to his side, cupping your face before leaning in for a kiss, one which you dodge, moving down the bed to rub your hands up and down his legs, making sure to relax him even more. Your hand reaches down between his legs and gently rubs his balls for a few seconds before moving back to his legs and ass. 

"Seriously." He groans, rolling over abruptly. 

Now you straddle yourself on top of his front, just above his hard cock. You run your hands up and down his arms, over his chest and down his abs. 

Leaning forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead, before his hand reaches up, grabbing your head to pull you in for a kiss. 

You smile as you break the kiss, looking him in the eyes. "Do you trust me?" You whisper. You stare at him until he nods yes. 

Biting your lip as you wiggle yourself down, gliding your clothed pussy over his erect cock, earning you a groan from him. 

You bite your lip as you move your panties over to the side, placing his cock in between the lips of your pussy, and grinding on him. 

"Oh my god." He groans, his hands coming up to reach for your waist, helping your hips grind against his cock. 

"You tell me what you want baby," you groan, his cock perfectly sliding against your clit. 

"Suck my cock." He groans, using his large muscles to halt your movements. 

"Anything you want, baby." You moan, sliding off him to get on all fours. You hover over him, licking up the pre cum that spilled from his cock, with the tip of your tongue. 

"God. Don't tease me." He groans, bucking his hips slightly. 

Opening your mouth, you take in as much of him as you can, making sure to hit the back of your throat as you go down. 

"Such a good little cock slut." He groans, bucking his hips harder this time.  "Come here." 

You crawl towards him, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. Wonho lifts his hands, cupping both your breasts, squeezing before pinching your nipples, tugging on them slightly. 

"Do you like that?" He asks. 

"Yes." You breathe. "This is supposed to be about you though." You partially whine. 

"It is about me, I also like to make you feel good." He smirks. "Now put my cock back in your mouth." 

After you deep throat his cock a few times, you come up for a breath and see Wonho's eyes dark, full of lust. 

"Sit on my cock." He growls. 

Without a second thought, you line your entrance up with his cock, slowly sinking yourself down on him. 

"I missed the way your cock filled me up." You moan, your eyes rolling back slightly.

"Move." He spits, placing his hands back on your hips to make you start riding him. 

Your hands move to his chest as you lift your ass up and slowly sink back down on his cock. "Fuck. I love that." Wonho groans, lifting your ass up to do it again. 

You move yourself slowly against him, wanting to keep things loving and slow, but Wonho seemed to have other ideas, beginning to get a little impatient as he waited for you to speed up. 

"Ride my cock baby, before I take over." He growls. 

You smirk as you continue with the same pace, wanting you both to slowly cum together. 

"I warned you." He snapped, sitting up and somehow flipping you so you were on your back, without his cock ever leaving your pussy. 

"This is about me, right baby? Well I want to destroy your pussy." He snaps. "Open your legs wider." 

With no hesitation, you spread your legs as wide as that can go while Wonho fucks you harshly. His hips snap as he pumps himself into you, desperately seeking his release, along with your. 

"Rub your clit." He demands, watching your hand move between your lips and begin rubbing. "That's right baby, rub your clit till you cum." 

"Fuck." You cry out, loving the sound of his voice when he talks dirty to you. 

"You gonna cum baby? Let your pussy cum all over my cock." He groans, his pumps becoming faster but sloppy. 

"Oh my god." You cry out, your orgasm bursting through your body, causing you to shake as you ride through it. 

"Good girl." He smirks, his grunting becoming louder. 

"Cum.. cum in my pussy." You cry out. Wonho grunts as he shoots his cum into you, painting your walls. 

"Fuck." You both huff, laying in his bed together, catching your breath. 

** 

A few days later, you and Wonho were sitting in the cafeteria at work, having lunch together, when you received a message on your phone from your father. 

"My father.. wants to see us bother." You tell Wonho, surprised. 

"Let's go." He says, shrugging his shoulders. 

"What? I was going to ignore it." You laugh. 

"Well you could.. but I don't want you to not have a relationship with him because of me." Wonho admits. 

"Trust me. You wouldn't be the reason." You say, rolling your eyes and heading up to his office with the love of your life in tow. 

"You wanted to see us?" You say as you barg into the office. 

"Hello, Y/N." Your father says. 

"Hi. What?" You snap, unimpressed. 

"Look." He sighs. "I want to apologize for my actions. I have realized I was very out of line, and should have more regard for your life and what you want to do. I just want you to be taken care of." Your father admits. 

"Sir." Wonho interrupts. "I have every intention of taking care of your daughter to the best of my ability. I would and will do whatever I have to, to make sure she has everything she wants and needs. She will never be without." 

"I sure hope so, son." Your father replies. 

Nothing could take the smile off your face as you watch your father accept the man you love, and your Wonho forgive your father's terrible actions. 

** 

8 years later, and you and Wonho are still together and more in love than you were the day before. 

A few days after you had sat down with him and your father, Wonho had gotten down on one knee and proposed.

Of course you said yes. 

1 year later the two of you got married. 

2 years later, your eldest son was born. 

2 years after that, your second oldest son was born. 

2 years after that, your youngest and last child was born, a daughter. 

1 year ago, your father passed away from a heart attack. You were happy he was able to see your happy life with Wonho, and meet his grandchildren, but you missed him dearly. He had offered you the position of CEO, when he passed. He had said you were far better qualified than your brothers. 

You happily declined. 

As you sit on your deck, you watch Wonho run around, playing tag with your boys. You laugh as you watch them try to catch him, but fail to do so. Your heart flutters as you watch your daughter run to him, wanting to play but knowing she wasn't fast enough. He picks her up and cradles her in his arms as he carries her, allowing her to play with them. You never wanted your life to be anything different. 

There was never a moment of doubt in your mind where you had not thought Wonho wasn't the one for you. He might have been a temptation in the beginning, but now he was your forever.

[hippychick006]

Misha Panel 

I’ve done this summary as it helps to have what Misha actually says to hand as more often than not, his stans misquote him. It’s also useful as Misha often changes things - as he appears to have done between his last virtual panel and this one. Note, I’m only focusing on the key parts where he talks about the show/Jared/Jensen.  It is not free of anti castiel/misha comments where I disagree, though those are few and far between for a change. It’s long so putting under a cut... 

- Misha confirms his filming finished in March prior to Covid [this comes up later in more detail].  Watching the last epiosode was an emotional experience for him.  For him, it represents the end of a chapter of his life. 

- Misha says fandoms not going anywhere [*hisses]

- Misha’s future work/projects?: working on senate race in georgia, publishing a book of poetry, couple of film projects he’s trying to get off the ground, one he’s not acting/directing in, the other he may act and/or direct 

- Jack brought Cass back but we didn’t get to see it, what happened?: different ending originally that Covid restrictions made impossible to produce. Cool ending involved bringing back lots of cast members over the years.  In the original ending, Castiel hadn’t gone to rebuild heaven, there was a different conclusion for him.  Misha purposely did not read the last two episodes before they aired as he wanted to be an audience member. He knew a little about Castiel/Jack’s fate in the abstract, but because he wasn’t in it, he doesn’t know what the answer was. He thinks them rebuilding heaven was less boots on the ground and more at a spiritual level [so he’s talking at the metaphysical/spiritual plane level and not corporeal) so they are everywhere (e.g. in drops of rain as per Jack’s speech to Sam in 19). That’s what I’m understanding at least.  He says that’s pure speculation though.]

- what qualities does castiel have similar to Misha?: there are a lot of similar qualities [backstabber comes immediately to my mind tbh]. Over time he and the character melded. Over time he evolved into something that didn’t quite fit in with either angels or humanity, he felt like an outsider which Misha has felt for much of his life. He became softer, more sensitive, he tried to do the right thing and be a good person. Oh wow, he says that in order to write to play to Misha’s strengths, the character had to “morph a bit”.  I loved bad!ass Castiel, he’s my favourite Castiel!

- What one thing will he take with him from playing Castiel?: on a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. He discussed with J2 recently that the characters really became part of them. He doesn’t think that will happen again, just due to length of time the played them. On watching Jensen’s death scene, he cried but it was more “That’s Cass’ friend Dean dying”  It was weird to have a blurring of lines between yourself and your character but he thinks that’s what happened with all of them. He’ll take the character away, which will be a part of him forever. 

- Misha made fortune cookes and put inside lewd and inappropriate fortunes

[I don’t get this next bit as earlier in the panel he says he didn’t read the last two episodes so didn’t know what was going to happen and gave the answer I documented above and now we have this next question where his answer seems to contradict that]:

- Is there anything more he can say about the originally planned finale?:  He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal these state secrets, but what are they going to do, fire him?  He feels someone might have said to him, please don’t reveal what was going to happen, but can’t remember for sure if it’s true. He says there was a version of Sam and Dean’s heaven that was populated with all of the people that were from their past that they have come to love.  They could not do that because of Covid restrictions. 

- Favourite behind the scenes memory of “The boys”: He doesn’t have a favourite memory, they were close friends for 12 years. They had laughing fits and fights and got pissed off at each other. Some of his fondest memories of being at work anywhere were working on Supernatural.  He’s never going to be on a set again where there is so much mirth so he’s going to miss that for sure.

- he’s talking about Castiel’s wardrobe which is actually funny - e.g. original suit 3 sizes to big, sometimes showing blood and holes, sometimes being magically fixed, not wearing a tie, going back to wearing a tie... “Nobody complained about that too much...” [uh because some of us were watching other things and your own stans were looking at the background.]  He stole some trenchcoats and has them in his closet.

- How do you prepare for emotional scenes?: it’s hard for him to get into that emotional state. To prepare for the Castiel’s declaration of love scene and taken by the empty, Misha needs to be off by himself and not chatting with people, so for that scene he sat on his own in a dark corner of the stage and ruminated on his own.  Rob Hayter, stunt coordinator, noticed and stood sentinel and made sure no one disturbed him which Misha said was really sweet.  Everyone stopped fucking around for that scene to allow them to do what they needed to do.

-  How did you feel when you read the script when Castiel dies?: Misha knew for a long time that ending was coming, he’d been speaking to Rob Berens about it, he was really happy with it.  It was the ending he’d wanted for Cass so when he read the script, he was really happy it had made it to the page [i bet it was Misha, how are those destiel sales going through your Stands company?]. It felt it was a little “risky and a little brave” for the show to do [on a fucking network that is number one in Glaad reviews?  Are you being fucking serious right now?] He was happy to be a part of that [again sales] and have that character express love like that so he was happy with it. 

[Okay, so notice in his last virtual panel 2 weeks ago, he was very happy, he’s now starting to do exactly what he did with Karla movie as he goes on to say...]

He’s seen “some people” [you mean lgbtq+ people?!]  “complaining” about this is playing into the “bury the gays” trope which is an insidious and real trope in film and television storytelling in h/w over the years. Misha doesn’t think that’s what was happening with Castiel’s [he died second after the confession MIsha!] First of all Castiel isn’t dead, he’s in heaven working to rebuild it... [you didn’t know this 2 weeks ago, as far as you knew Castiel died and went to the empty].  So much good came from that declaration, because Cass was able to save Dean, which was essential to saving the world, so this declaration wasn’t so then fate strikes you down and you’re done forever. The declaration literally ended up saving the world. It was of Cass’ own volition, he wasn’t forced to do it, it was his choice, and he thinks that’s important, so maybe he’s naieve and doesn’t feel they are playing into that trope. 

[You were absolutely playing into that trope Misha and you didn’t give a shit as you did no research on playing an lgbtq+ character so sincerely fuck off]

He’s glad that Castiel got to express that and have that ending. He thinks thats kind of important and he’s proud the show did that. [again fuck off, this was done for you and it showed]  He thinks its a conversation they will continue to have as they continue to dissect it going forward [nope, consigned to the dumpster fire I’ve put the majority of the rest of Drabbernatural in]

- Do you think you will ever get an SPN tattoo?:  He doesn’t have any but he’s thinking about getting tattoos relating to his children.  Is that a sign of desperation that a true hasbeen will do? Should he get a tattoo of Jared and Jensen’s face.  He could get a tattoo of Castiel’s face on his abdomen.  He’s saying probably not. If they want to get one, totally supportive of that

-  what is his favourite moment of the finale?: Dean’s death scene, masterfully executed, excellent performances from both Jared and Jensen in that scene and made him cry

- best memory of your last day on the supernatural set?: everyone being really sweet, lot of tears from cast and crew. The last scene he shot as Castiel was the last scene of the day on a Friday. Him, Alex, Richard S and Jensen all had to get to Las Vegas for a fan convention the next morning. They shot late and finished at 1.30, it was Cass goodbye and Misha’s goodbye to the show.  He said they had to get a chartered flight because of the early flight [not sure why he’s saying this as I thought it was Jared’s plane they all travelled in?] He’s talking about going back - because of the issue with the plane - and they are all texting family, saying they love them, so it was such a strange night, he’d said goodbye to Supernatural, he said goodbye to Castiel and later on said goodbye to his kids because they thought they were going to die that night. :(

[Going to add that this puts to rest that Misha was due back for 19 and 20 even before covid, it confirms he was not going to be in either episode, though I maintain, they may have shot an extra scene while they had him to slot into 19 or 20]

- do you think Cass and the other angels got their wings back?: Yes, probably, they have Jack who is the new god. What a long and miserable experience that was of not having wings. Cass was so powerful when he started, he could snap his fingers and teleport and time travel and lost that with his broken wings and they didn’t come back. He doesn’t know why they didn’t fix him as Castiel would have been a much more powerful ally if he didn’t have to drive around in the pimp mobile [uh, for the same reason Sam lost his powers, deus ex machina]. He tells the story of Jared pressing buttons in the car causing the hydraulics to fail costing $10000 of repair.

- in your opinion, what colour are Castiels wings?: shit, I don’t know, I always thought they were black, but now that you’ve said that, they are rainbow coloured, how about that?

- What is the worst joke Jared and Jensen did to you?: [*cough fans looking for things to complain about or hate Jared on]: Jared and Jensen, as you know, they are not good people.  He talks about directing an episode and they got excited in the week before, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture, they had all kinds of nefarious plans, the crew tipped him off and told him to watch his home and car keys. They put a fish under the seat in his car and one of the crew told him.  Jared removed the canvas on the director’s chair and laid it across so it looked like it was still the chair. Misha fell for that at least 5 times. That was pretty frustrating. Jared kept messing up his lines (which Misha said Jared never does) and Misha was directing in another room, Misha eventually went to see what the problem was and that’s when Jared pied him in the face. Everyone in the crew was complicit in the “assault”. Jensen brought him another shirt, said, “I’m sorry man, that’s sucks, that was too much.”  Jensen then pied him in the face.

- What is the real story behind the handprint in the finale?: Um I don't know, but I think it was a nice touch, that was a really lovely callback that worked well. I can’t remember how we came up with that, or was it in the script, I can’t remember. Wasn’t it a good callback to the very beginning. [Again, this appears to differ from what was being reported two weeks ago so might need to go back to that panel if I can get access to it]

-What’s your favourite memory from offline/online panels?: It’s much more fun to be live and in person. I don’t know, I have had some really fun... [PANDERING ALERT COMING UP] Jensen and I have some really fun panels together in Rome.  I don’t know why but we always just seem to have a real hoot there, talks about the resume off, they really enjoyed that. He had pizza delivered to a creation panel once.  He talks about the Saturday night special and he can’t wait till they can get back to that. 

[NOTE CYNICAL PART OF THIS IS FOR HIS FANBASE TO ONCE AGAIN CLAMOUR FOR MORE JENMISH PANELS. I DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN AT ALL]

- What was your favourite version of Castiel to play?: he had the most fun playing Lucifer because Mark P had left a great template to play Lucifer [you took the worst parts imo but Mark fucked his character up too]. He enjoyed playing the human parts of Castiel because it was fun to explore how to be human for the first time. Overall, just regular Cass. He wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Castiel for other iterations. [A great question would be badass Castiel v late season wooby castiel preference]