#i just dont like being there because him my grandma and my baby brother are the only people i care about

[ryez-loveyz]

aint no familial f/o that can fill the place in my heart my dad does

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Hi.. love your desi f1 fics.. can you write something like lando dating desi reader and then just turning into national jiu (like Nick Jonas) so.. everyone keeps commenting on his post about being jiju and all.. and then one day, during media day, journalist asks him if he knows what jiju is.. and why is that relevant.. and lando goes all giggly and is like "jiju is brother in law" and is just happy to have nations love and support.. and the grid teases him and all cute stuff.. love your work..

National Jijaji ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

⌗ ln x desi!reader

⌗ smau

masterlist ☾☼

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 190,382 others

yourusername THEY FUCKING DID IT OH MY GOF IM SO PROUD OF THESE TWINKS

view all 127,036 comments

landonorris PAPAYA ON TOP

oscarpiastri WE ARE THE CHAMPIONES

user1 she was soooo happy at the celebrations it was so nice to watch

user2 righttt fav wag of all time fr

user3 jijaji jeet gaye ‼️jijaji jeet gaye ‼️

user4 mithai baato koi humare jijaji jeet gaye!

user5 you'd think with a rich boyfriend she'd at least have a good camera quality 😂😂😂😂

yourusername sorry my rich boyfriend drenched my phone in champagne because HE FUCKING WONNNNN WOOHOOOO

user6 papaya on top ❌ jijaji on top ✅

yourusername on top of me? HELL YEAH

user7 KOI INKI MUMMY KO BULAO

yourusername NO THANK YOU NO JIJAJI ON TOP OF ME TONIGHT

landonorris 🥺🥺 but i wanna be

user6 do they know we can read all of this?

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lando.jpg

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 93,019 others

lando.jpg system reboot

view all 46,113 comments

youruserame told you we should do a full country trip

landonorris excuse you??? i made the plans???

yourusername jo tera voh mera 😘

user9 jijaji roaming india is a need

user10 only lando can post the most beautiful pictures of his girlfriend and his girlfriend's country and then post a goofy picture of himself

lando.jpg what can i do my girlfriend's just so pretty

yourusername what did you do

lando.jpg I DIDNT DO ANYTHING I WAS GIVING A COMPLIMENT

user11 its such a desi thing to question someone saying something nice to you 😂😂😂

maxverstappen1 this looks beautiful man

lando.jpg IT REALLY IS WE WENT TO SO MANY PLACES

carlossainz55 all i wanna know if youre getting me those swirly round sweets

yourusername dw gonna get you your jalebi soon

user13 IT IS CONFIRMED CARLOS SAINZ LIKES JALEBI

user14 its fitting that jijaji is travelling through his new permanent home

user15 monaco? what's that? place doesnt exist anymore

yourusername i wish i could convince him to settle in india with me 😔

lando.jpg if your grandma keeping making me those laddoos, i might just consider it

user13 absolutely love how y/n's family have fully considered lando as their son in law

user14 THATS WHY HE'S JIJU

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yourusername

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri and 509,247 others

yourusername i miss when my account wasnt a lando norris fanpage IN OTHER NEWS FIRST PODIUM OF THE SEASON BABY LFGGGGG

view all 90,148 comments

landonorris dont lie you love me

yourusername i love YOU not you taking over my account

landonorris same thing

mclaren so happy to see you in the paddock!

user15 JIJAJI ON PODIUM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2025

user16 JIJU WDC INCOMING

user17 LANDO JIJU STOP FLIPPING OFF YOUR WIFE

user18 whats with the scrunch 😂😂

user19 why is he flipping off his own girlfriend while hugging his dad 😭😭😭

yourusername i told him that i was a fan of charles anyway

charlesleclerc thats a good choice

landonorris fuck off shes mine

yourusername i can be your girlfriend and be a fan of someone else

landonorris baby my blood pressure is rising can you not?

yourusername oh nooooooo (im still a charles fan)

charlesleclerc ill get you ferrari paddock passes for the next race

landonorris 🖕🖕🖕

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f1gossip

liked by user18, user12 and 3,910,572 others

f1gossip lando recently met a fan in india while at the gym, who approached him and called him "jiju". his girlfriend was reportedly also there, and laughed at the interaction.

view all 2,195,932 comments

user20 WHICH GYM DOES JIJAJI GO TO??? I'D LIKE A MEMBERSHIP OF THAT PLEASE

user21 this fan is out here living the life of every indian lando fan

user23 she really called him jiju 😭 and y/n really laughed at that 😭

user24 yall lets not forget the real og jiju of india: nick jonas

user25 we can have two jijus! we need more jijus!

user26 yknow if they get married... and we do the juta churai... i think we'd become rich and lando would become bankrupt...

user27 why do you want lando to become bankrupt 😭😭😭

user26 thats what a jiju does! becomes bankrupt at weddings for his own shoes

user28 WHAT?

user29 ghar aao please

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landonorris

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 590,112 others

landonorris mustaaaaaaaaaaaard

view all 275,008 comments

yourusername LFFGGGGGGG BOY

yourusername MY MAN ON THE TOP STEP FUCK YEAHHHH

yourusername PAPAYA 1-2 LFFGGGGGGGG

yourusername i think my throat is sore from screaming too much

user24 real

user24 JIJU 2025 WDC LFFGGGGG

user23 nazar lag jaayegi 😭

user24 oh fuck nvm i didnt say anything

user22 so proud of jijaji 🫶🏻

user25 good job, lando! amazing drive! 🧡

user26 lando's only fast cause of the car he doesnt have the talent

user25 but its a motorsport? its a sport about the car being fast?

user26 so? doesn't matter

user25 wow. ok.

user27 jijaji jeet gaye phir se ‼️

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mclaren

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 942,065 others

mclaren can you guess who lando is looking at? 🤔

view all 891,553 comments

georgerussell jijaji

maxverstappen1 jijaji

oscarpiastri jijaji

carlossainz55 jijaji

charlesleclerc jijaji

lewishamilton jijaji

alex_albon jijaji

yukitsunoda jijaji

francocolapinto jijaji

yourusername NO YOURE ALL WRONG! HE'S YOUR BROTHER, IM THE SISTER IN LAW! HE'S NOT YOUR JIJAJI!

user29 ...is this confirmation that theyre married????

user30 love how everyone is ignoring admin's question because everyone knows the answer anyways

user31 JIJAJI FOR THE WIN LFFGGGGG

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i hope you enjoy this! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :) taglist: @imlonelydontsendhelp ; @greantii ; @anamiad00msday ; @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @nocturnalherb16 ; @justaf1girl ; @peterholland04

[isabel3710]

Adding a little bit on the Bruce and Branch ask I send, how I imagine the "eldest" conversation would happen makes me go isane

Branch (18/19-ish) and Bruce start drinking at the bar to celebrate a late but really successful day at the restaurant (Brandie clocked out early to put the children to bed). At first, they mostly just joke around and trade brotherly small talk. But as the night goes on and they get drunker/more tired, they start to ramble and lightly complain, like about Bruce being insane for having 12 children and waiting more, the rare annoying customer, what Jd may be up too and if they miss him or not, and the last topic of the night, how Branch doesn't like being treated as a baby by his brother.

He just goes on and on about not liking still being called Bitty B and only viewed as the innocent and cute baby of the family. Bruce, more drunk that he has been in a good while, just says something along the lines of "Hey why are you complaining? You will always be my baby but you're still the eldest, you have all 12 of those gremlins to baby" and for a hot minute the conversation dies down.

Afterwards, Bruce tries to backtrack hard like "No wait, I meant like you are older than my children and all of that... you know?" but Branch just hugs him tighter than ever before and both of them just stay quiet after that (not because they are crying or anything like that, no, never). They don't know if the other remembers that night, but also they dont question it why Branch doesn't mind it anymore if Bruce hugs or picks him up without asking or how when Branch hides aways in Bruce's hair during the anniversary of their grandma's death or just bcs he is having a long shift, Bruce doesn't even commenting on it.

And if he stopped complaining when Bruce calls him Bitty, why mention it? Floyd finds it a little strange, but its not like he calls Branch that particular nickname anymore so its probably nothing really

(this is kinda very badly written bcs I am extremely tired, so dont mention it lol)

Aw that's pretty sweet. I wish there was more Bruce and Branch fan content out there. Frankly I just want more Bruce-centric stuff period.

[astranite]

WIP the-Wednesdays-just-keep-coming-dont-they?

Havent done one of these in a while, mostly because I havent had the brainspace to write much with my life being very much on fire.

So, have some fun, fluff, all the Tracies (including Kayo!) and siblingly banter!!! It's all very silly, not at all scary and rather on theme for spooky season!!

-----

--Set after the Ghost Ship episode!

John really hoped that Scott and Kayo had forgotten about his and Alan’s whole ‘maybe, possibly, just a tiny bit absolutely terrified of ghosts,’ slip up on the comms. 

He really thought they had. Until the next family movie night. 

To set the scene: it was a cool, pleasant evening on Tracy Island. John was down from Five and the fresh breeze was a welcome change from recycled air. All the family was piled onto couches, well except for Grandma and Brains who were in his lab making enthusiastic upgrades to the already far too overpowered oven. 

Gordon and Virgil were squabbling over whether sweet or salty popcorn was the better flavour, while eating from a bowl mixed of both, like they did every time. Gordon preferred salty, likening it to the unfortunate comparison of celery crunch bars despite the two bearing little resemblance. Virgil vehemently argued for sweet ever since he had discovered coffee caramel popcorn.

Scott attempted to mediate without getting kicked by Virgil’s feet on his lap as the family tank lunged to get the fish in a headlock. Alan egged all parties on. Kayo delicately plucked the popcorn bowl from amid the fray and joined John where he watched from the relative safety of the other sofa.

He took a handful of kernels from Kayo, shaking his head at the antics of the others. Every time. The same argument played out, when the two of them actually preferred both flavours mixed in the same bowl. Why, John didn't know. He tolerated it for the free pre-movie entertainment though.

 Finally, everyone got settled. Scott sat between two pouting brothers who before the end of the movie would be snuggled up together, half falling asleep. Alan fetched frozen peas for what John suspected was more likely for Virgil’s bruised pride than injury from Gordon’s lumpy elbows, while Gordon was consoled over the indignity of being sat on at one point by the heavy lifter. Then more popcorn for reparations, when they noticed the missing bowl and Kayo’s smug expression. 

John stretched out on the couch, while the others were crowded on the next one. Kayo was perched above him, in reach of their bowl of popcorn. They all would move about through the movie, because no one round here could sit still for a whole hour-and-a-half minimum, and the hugs had to be shared around.

“So, what are we watching?” John asked, completely in ignorance of the forthcoming answers.

“Nemo! Or Moana! Blue Planet!” Gordon screeched, because he always quick to suggest marine themed ones at every turn in hopes someone would fall for it.

“It’s not even his turn,” Alan grumbled. “What about something with zombies? Not more boring fish.”

Gordon gasped, “An affront upon my friends! The kraken will have you for that!”

John rolled his eyes at the typical tinies dramatics. 

“Alan, you picked last time,” Virgil said, totally reasonably except for his stage whisper to Gordon of, “Get him, Squid!”

Aaand they were back in kahoots. Not even a record for the timing. 

Alan appealed to Scott to protect him with big, blue puppy eyes, and got away with it because he was still the baby of the family. Despite how he complained about ‘smothering older brothers,’ he was very happy to use the privilege when it suited him.

Long suffereringly, Scott said, “Gords, you can’t drag Alan down to the watery depths, you’d be bored without your partner in crime.”

John watched on. Very well behavedly, without starting any fights or causing any trouble, he’d like to add. Because he was the sensible, responsible one of this bunch.

“Eos,” John asked his comm, “Who’s turn is it to choose what we watch?” 

Then he added, “You did say you wanted to watch the next Star Trek, like we talked about.” He didn't quite wink at her, but only because that wouldn't have been very subtle.

“It’s your turn to choose, of course, John,” Eos replied, loud enough everyone would hear, “Star Trek would be, as you put it, awesome.” 

John struggled to keep a straight face. “Then Star Trek it is,” he said with all the authoritative gravitas of Thunderbird Five.

Scott face palmed. 

John shrugged. “Worth a try.” 

Everyone’s voices rose to argue with him. 

“Really, Eos?” Virgil questioned the AI, staring foolishly at the ceiling.

Gordon protested,“We just had Star thingy, the week before Alan’s Zombie Apocalyspe Twenty or whatever.”

“Hey!” Alan came to defend the merits of Zombie Apocalyspe Twenty or whatever.

Scott looked betrayed by his supposedly second eldest brother. “Are you an adult or are you eight?”

John huffed, “I totally could have pulled this off when I was eight.” 

“Awww, clever ickle Johnny,” Gordon heckled. 

“Don’t call me Johnny, plankton.” The fish would soon be fish food if he kept trying it.

“Did I upset itty bitty baby Johnny?” 

“Joooohnyyyy,” Alan joined in, because he wanted to be causing trouble. 

John was one more mangled rendition of his name from tackling them both, gravity be damned.

“How many times do we have to say that using Eos to back up your claims does not make them any more valid when she can’t be objective about it?” Scott interjected, in an attempt from stopped things from getting out of hand.

“Few hundred more at least.” John grinned. He hadn't forgotten certain remarks though. 

General groans followed all round. And another face palm. Few more grey hairs and a red forehead for Scott was in order.

“This time happens to be my choice,” Kayo stated. Out of the blue and right on target.

In the shadow of those innocuous words, John missed the mischievous look his sister and eldest brother shared. How the very atmosphere changed.

In synch, they burst out together, “Ghost Busters!” 

They sung it. Loudly. Complete with catchy jingle.

Alan and John looked at each other in horror.

Ghosts.

[theirnamewaslove]

You were born within the Same Month your "Dad" was Born & Died the same month I gave life to your big brother. Life & Death So Close Yet So far. I cant say "Dad" without Quotations because he didnt love you nor I. He Loved Whatever we could be. But your brother. He loved you. Every bit of you. He'd wake up and ask if there was a baby in my stomach until the day came where the only answer I had to your brother's questions were not yes or no but just silence. Because you were still here. But just not with me.

Mateo, He left you to die with me, in me.

He left us is his apartment hallway, watching you trail down my legs as if you dying was not enough, He told us to go Die at your Grandmas. As if my soul and innocence had not died enough there as a child. Funny.... how ironic things can really be.

And before you, I had thought the last of my innocence inside had been long taken & forgotten but you were nothing but. I had thought the only innocence I could carry would be your brother in my arms and not.. you. I Wished more for you. I did. I think I did better....

I Prayed.

I Prayed For A Miracle, To Keep you out of harm's way

For you not to be cursed of a life of pain and suffering for the sins of a "father" or Mother or family.

I Prayed harder than I ever had before.

I Prayed and I prayed and I prayed

For God to Save someone like you if he couldnt save your "dad" or me Or your brother at the time. I had to ask for you to be saved from the person who "helped create you" I Wanted To Save you. What did that mean exactly? To Ask for God to Save you? I mean what did it really mean...

Be careful what you wish for.....

That is what He said to me. He said I wished for you to be Gone... He told me it was my fault because I told him I SWEAR TO GOD IF I LOSE THIS BABY ITS BECAUSE OF THE STRESS YOU PUT ME THROUGH!

YOU WANTED A BABY! YOU TOLD YOUR FAMILY YOU WANTED THIS ! I TOLD YOU I WASNT READY !

Please STAY

Just STAY

GO! I

Please Stop

Please Leave!

Just go!

I dont want YOU here

Is the baby still inside of you?

Come home.....

........

YOU SAID YOU WERE THINKING OF HAVING AN ABORTION! THATS NOT WHAT I WANT! I WANT A BABY! I WANT YOU HERE BUT NOT HERE !

........

Are you still pregnant? Ok Good....so you can go...

..........

OKAY So then If youre okay I dont want you here just GO I just want me and My SON! ALONE!

But Im not... Im bleeding? Alot...and Im scared, I dont know whats going on I have an appointment to check it out on Saturday to see if everythings okay

**Friday night calls of worrying**

I DONT CARE IF IT HURTS

........

IM NOT OPENING THE DOOR! You can stand out there I dont CARE!

........

My sisters/female friends say bleeding is normal ! You're dramatic

But it hurts really bad and Its not normal ! Please youre the last person I want to ask for help but youre the only person that should

PLEASE help me!

*deleted a recording from my voice memos pleading with him to help* all he can focus on is his own voice

.........

......

....

As He watched me Give Birth to Life & Death in his bathtub, He didnt believe me when I said I could die. He didnt believe my screams. He didnt even believe in the horrific cries.

He believed a 2 second phone conversation and his sister that had no kids of her own who did not give him any children to bare.

And thats only when he cried. And cried. And cried. Why did you cry? Because this is not what you expected when you forced life into this.... or you didnt believe your own seed was dying, being pushed out infront of your eyes? Or was it because the last bits of YOUR innocence was being raped by your selfish needs.

I did not WANT to know what you being Saved meant but I knew in a way what it might mean...

A)by the miracle of God I was a Virgin Mary again and the only Father or daddy you would have ever had is God

B) Everything was going to be alright and somehow I could keep you here with me on Earth, safe, just the three of us

C) You would go back to the Stars & would never have to deal with a broken home, and be at peace in Your First home.... Heaven.

And as Long as it took you to get here you left me in a second as forver can last that way. C. Was the Answer that God chose.

1:30 am Bits of you floated

2:00am He Flushed you and me with you, down his drain, with disgust on his face. I did not see blood, or just any clot, I saw you. Not whatever was on his face and in mind.

2:15am The ambulance was called and picking me up

2:16am

I love you...

Okay?

call me when you get to the hospital

I love you

*silence*

(As if the EMTS couldnt see right through his bullshit)

I DONT CARE IF YOURE BLEEDING GO BLEED AT YOUR MOTHERS HOUSE

*just getting back from the Hospital*

*first time I see him again**

Well, you spoke it into existence

IT WAS MY BABY TOO! I know I wasnt there BUTTTT

BUTTT

BUTTT

OUR child we lost OUT child ! (Man who abandoned the thought for months until the misconception)

THE BABY WAS MINE TOO! I wish I couldve been there for you I want to be there for you! Its just hard being there for you! Near you! You say this you say that I cant handle being around you but I want to have a baby with you! I want our family back!

I WANT

I WANT

I WANT

I said I wanted to be alone with our kid because you never let us be alone! But I didnt mean it! I just want to spend time with him alone! But I wanted you there! And the baby! And all of us ! Together! Living in separate houses! While you have the baby in your house!

I want to be here for you I just cant do this

.......

Well you spoke it into existence so thats what happens ☺️ (sounds like his sister or one of his followers)

Mmm...... but I didnt ask God to give me a miscarriage.....

yes, I spoke it into existence. I told you if I have a miscarriage it's because of the fact that you put me through this kind of stress it's because God knows you don't deserve anything else from me

So God said heard

I told him to help me through this situation

I told him that if this child is to be harmed in any way, because of this fallen angel, please protect my child the best way you can

And what happened happened

*silence*

IM HURTING TOO ! YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND !

.....

Youre right. I guess I never will.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

i actually think a lot abt hangman's family, like my headcanons.

It's a big family, 2 parents happily married, 3 girls and 2 boys, and the grandma from the dad's side. They live a simple life, they have a farm, etc etc.

Jake is the youngest of them all. 2 older sisters, then an older brother, and then an older sister. Then Jake. That's the order. And even tho they always thought of having a big family, Jake's mom really just wanted to have babies. The fact that they grew into kids n then teenagers was something she kinda tried not to think abt too much.

So, she just kept having them, thinking she might lose her motherly touch if she never had a baby to coddle. That meant that was basically a year difference between the siblings, two years between baby number 3 and 4 because of some money complications.

After Jake was born, and he lived 1 glorious year of being coddled and babied (as he should ofc), an accident happened, and his mom got seriously hurt. It meant she had to be bedridden for a while, which meant no more making babies for a while.

His dad cared for his wife as much as he could juggling 5 kids and a whole ass farm. As the kids grew older and started going to kindergarten and having friends and getting personalities, the couple had to damage control, which meant putting a bunch of responsibilities on the eldest daughter, which they thought was a quick solution to their problem.

But she never took any of their shit. Their first born was the toughest kid they've ever met, and she never, no matter how much they screamed and punished her, let herself become a mother to her siblings. She was their oldest sister. That's it. And the most they would get from her is her help around the farm.

So the oldest kids started getting their chores while the mom healed. The second Jake could walk on his own, it was like a relief. "He can take care of himself now. I can rest." and Jake knew this.

Every time he went to his parents with anything, for help, for affection, for questions, they always had this air of resignation to them that lil Jake always picked up on. Like he was an afterthought.

The person that always advocated for him was his eldest sister, but even her grew up and had her own problems and life. Which led to Jake doing anything he could to get his parents attention. Anything.

At first he went for his own siblings, pulling the girls hair, destroying their toys, ripping drawings apart. But he always felt so guilty when they cried and ignored him. He was trying to get his parents attention, not his siblings hatred. So he started going after other kids when he got to school.

He'd annoy everyone, disrupt the classroom, anything to get the teachers to say they're gonna call his parents. He thought it was soooo funny how they only looked at him when he messed up. He started doing it out of spite, just to see them fume.

That is until his brother and him got into a fight. His brother always got cool stuff while Jake always got the scraps, and it led to Jake stealing things from him. They got into a serious scuffle that ended when one of their sisters saw Jake getting choked by his brother and started screaming. From then on, Jake knew that if push comes to shove, his family could just end him like that. They didnt love him, he was just there taking up space.

So he did a 180. He became quiet and withdrawn, but had fits of anger. They came with crying until he was 7 and the kids his age told him "boys dont cry" and he got so scared his parents would abandon him that he never cried in front of people after that.

A year later, when his sister was 13, she was caught kissing a girl by one of their neighbors.

There was a lot of screaming and sobbing, and for years to come, the eldest Seresin daughter refused to call their parents as such. She'd always call them by their names, and would ignore them all the time. The only time she was there was for her siblings, who might have their own thoughts on the matter, but they were still her siblings, and she'd never abandon them.

Things got quieter after this. It's like they were afraid to make noise, lest they anger their parents. So, the kids kept to their own. The parents just thought they had grown up quick and were leaving them more n more, becoming more independent, which was a good thing.

Except they all became their own versions of fucked up.

The eldest had her dream of becoming a horse riding teacher, and plans to do it all on her own. Secretly, shes afraid she'll never be loved and believes this fully. She thinks not having her parents support is better than having it. She ignores how much she misses having their love and approval, and knows she'll never have it. She never lets any of her siblings too close, shes just there to be useful and then shes gone. She assumes they like it that way but they all miss her.

The second oldest wants to be an actress, in theater specifically. Her parents dont approve, but she follows in her sister's footsteps, and rebels against them. She finds out rather early that she's not like other teenagers, in the sense that sex strongly grosses her out. She thinks its because of her being too religious, but secretly she knows she doesnt rly believe in god. It distances her from the rest of her family, since she thinks she's kinda of a freak. She ignores all pregnancy comments her mother throws her way. She compensates by dating a lot of people, but it never ends well since they always expect it to go further and she just cant do it.

The eldest son gets closer to his grandma, which had a love for tapestry. So while he stays on the farm, mostly to appease his parents, secretly he wants to pursue tapestry full time. Him and his grandma have secret tapestry meetings. He feels stuck, like he has to stay or else the whole family will fall apart. He never lets himself live his life lest it ends up being too divergent from what his parents want, and at this point he just wants peace.

The youngest daughter is more of a free spirit, and the older she gets the less she is home. She just thinks theres no point in doing anything grand when she can just stay at the farm with her parents, who r too busy with their trouble children to pay attention to her. She has no ambitions, and isnt interested in falling in love and starting a family. She just wants a place to fall back to if she needs it. She becomes a sort of ghost, there but forgotten. She thinks she likes it that way. She doesn't.

Jake grows up to be in denial over his sexuality. He knows what happens, and he prefers having his parents support than not. He becomes the quiet kid they can depend on when his brother is busy, and thats it. He goes to the navy just to do something, but do it well. In fact, do it so well its all his parents can talk about. Its also a great excuse to not be home all the time. He assumes if he doesnt do good in this thing he chose, he'll lose whatever respect his parents have for him. So he'll just play perfect son, perfect man, etc. etc. and ignores all marriage talk ever. Mostly ends with him saying that they'll have plenty of grandkids with his siblings, so dont bother him abt it.

Its with growing up that the siblings start to own up to the fact that 1) their parents fucked them up bad, and 2) they miss each other a lot.

So they become a strong squad of 5, the eldest sis caring for her queer siblings best she can, secretly emotional abt them confiding in her. The 2 brothers stop fighting, and Jake joins the tapestry meetings, much to his grandma's delight. She always saw right through him. They attend every performance of the second oldest, and shes amazing. The youngest sister judges everyones crushes whenever pics r sent to their groupchat. And its not perfect, but its amazing, and they're healing.

One day tho, they're all there for Christmas. They managed to convince the eldest to come, to surprise their parents. She hadnt been there ever since she got her own place at 21. It's very stilted at first but they manage, mostly because the siblings actually like each other now.

It comes crashing down when their grandma accidentally starts gushing abt the boys work with her, completely forgetting its supposed to be a secret. It gets tense, and then their father makes some comment abt it being smth girls do. And all hell breaks loose.

Because grandma scolds her son and his wife for all the shit they've done over the years. The kids watch as the 3 elders fight over the dinner table. Everyone thought, if somebody is ruining Christmas, then it would be the eldest daughter. She thought so as well.

Their mom is crying, saying how she did her best and all she ever wanted was a happy family, and smth just snaps in Jake. All that anger over never being thought of first, all those years of just not being seen as himself, but just their normal, charming, well adjusted son. And he's the one screaming at them, abt how they're all fucked up because of them, and jsut because they did their best doesnt mean it was enough. If they couldnt be there for their 5 kids, they shouldnt have had them. And that stuns them, and in their silence all of the kids talk over each other on how they've had to be each other parents over the years, while all they did was stay in their conservative little bubbles and never trying to get to know their kids.

The rest of the dinner is quiet, and the kids are the first to get up and leave the table, the brothers and their grandam doing their tapestry session in the living room for all to see, while the second oldest puts on her fav playlist and makes her younger sister dance and sing with her, much to the youngest dismay. The eldest quietly helps with the dishes and ignores any looks her parents throw her way, before joining her siblings and wanting to try tapestry as well. Their parents watch, not knowing where they fit.

The next morning, Jake wakes up first. He's always been an early bird, and the navy didn't help. He's 24 now, and he still has the same routine from when he was a kid. He's not expecting his mom to be awake.

That's when the family finally starts getting together. It starts with Jake and their mom and a very emotional conversation, where she watches her son cry for the first time since he was seven. He comes out to her. She says she will accept it, with time. And it's all she asks. Time.

After that, the kids try to include the parents on their things. The eldest sister reveals her girlfriend of 5 years, and asks her dad how he proposed to mom so she can do it himself. He's overcome with feelings because her girlfriend had asked for his blessing earlier to marry his daughter. The mom discovers that she really likes screen writing, and bonds with her second daughter over it. They talk abt theater and acting, and why she'll never conceive children in the traditional sense. She does want to adopt one day, when she finds her person (her mom doesnt miss the word "person"). The oldest brother reveals that he actually has a personality, which is a lot sassier than the parents thought. They also start receiving tapestry presents whenever he finishes one he likes. The youngest daughter reveals she and her friends want to open a cat cafe, and enthusiastically shows her plans to her parents, that choose to ignore the blunt shes smoking in lieu of asking what the fuck a cat cafe is. And Jake sends them letters, pictures and stories abt his time in the navy. He talks boys with his mom, assuming his dad wouldnt be very interested, but he has a thirst for gossip apparently after crashing one of their son-mom sessions, and now will be personally offended in Jake doesnt talk boys with him there. He's more judgey than Jake realized. No man is good enough for his little boy. Ever.

And its not perfect, but theyre trying, and its fucking bliss.

(names i've finally chosen for Jake's siblings, by order of oldest to youngest: Anneliese, Catherine, Corey, Mia, Jake. their parents names are: Grace and Harrison. their grandma's name is: Madeleine.)

[mordeiswrld]

“Im drained...im unmotivated...im tired...im done. So many hurtful things have been said to me by the ones who were supposed to care for me...i still rememeber it, and some of it still goes on. Why do I remember the things that hurt me...?”

“Wear some makeup maybe that’ll make it better” -because i wouldnt smile for a picture i didnt wanna be in

“She’s a grown woman she knows what she’s doing”- my great grabdmother & mom when i got mad about my siblings (1-2 and 6-7 years old) being out without me and with my grandma who hasnt had a baby in over a decade

“You need to stop dressing that way”- my great grandma when i showed up to my her house in an oversized sweater

“Your too young”- my mom when i told her i wanted a binder and that i was a boy at 11-12 years old

“ive always wanted a boy”- my mom. Then she got what she wanted and started being ‘better’ as if she couldn’t do that with her 1st 2 kids

“Yeah mhm, or girl what?😒”-my mom, dismissing me whenever i try to tell her something im happy about

“You need to start talking to your grandparents”- my mom everytime i ask her for something, now im scared to ask since everything i ask for is “too much” even though she buys herself stuff everyday

“Ill talk to him”- my mom whenever me and my dad get into our fights...it never gets better and she never talks to him and always takes his side

“Shut the fuck up”- my dad whenever i try to explain something to him even if it’s not that serious(its never that serious)

“Stop being selfish”- my dad whenever i say no to my siblings using my stuff that is strictly MINE and that i dont have to share if i dont want to

“Watch your brother” my dad almost all the time everyday and they’ll just be lying around doing nothing with the excuse of ���i work i need a break’ you dont need a break all damn week while i have to go to school and handle your wild 3 year old while your in your mid 30s

“Sounds like a personal problem” my mom whenever i tell her that I genuinely can't handle my siblings and am on the verge of snapping (violently)

“Maybe if you had a bedtime then yknow...i dont wanna have to say it”- my mom around her friend talking about my low grade in a class and thinking its bc of electronics when in reality my mental health is in hell and ive been crying more than usual and i dont have the motivation to keep pushing on anymore, but she thinks im up at 12:30 bc of a phone...

“Congratulations”- my mom when i show her my all As. But won’t be as nice and be a bit irritated that i got a low C in something she knows I struggle in

“I'm so proud of you”- my dad hugging me for the straight As. He doesnt hug me ever and he never says those words to me. Not even when its a minor accomplishment

“Has your father ever told you he loves you?” my mom years ago in a random parking lot that got me realizing last week that he never says he loves me willingly, he has to be forced

“I'm obligated to be there” my grandfather after getting married and never calling us to see how we are

“Your ___ eye is bigger than your ___” my friend. I always liked my eyes growing up...not anymore

“She ugly as hell” my 9th grade classmate he just says it whenever he can. I dont even have to be talking to him

It’s getting worse day by day...nothing i do is enough...im tired..

admin zjay

[lackadaisyx]

it's not even really about the election it's just like the straw or the trigger

i have depression and adhd and possibly autism and ill never know and never get treated because i can't afford insurance or to seek professional help

i bleed out of my vagina all the time even with birth control and everyday i just want to chop my ridiculous j sized tits off

i was hurt by an old man when i was a child and my grandma that was boyfriends with him at the time didn't believe me and now i can't stand dealing with gynos even if i had the money out of pocket plust JUST HAVE A BABY HWAT IF YOU WANT A BABY i DGAF take out my uterus????no???? so i gotta have old man hands up my pussy for nothing cool

i live in a house with my father who can't work and is on disability that doesn't belong to me but belongs to my aging grandmother

when she dies, we're homeless

but i dont make enough to get my own place. rent or buy

where would my five cats even go

where does my dad go

i can't go to my mom

not only is she a druggie alcohol but is with her abusive baby daddy raising my 20yrs younger half brother in a single wide trailer and already has a homeless man living with them on their couch

i make 34k a year

and im working 48/5s every.single.week. which doesn't sound all the bad until you're totally burnt out after two months going on three doing that to the point where i dont even want to write anymore

and it goes nowhere

it doesn't get me closer to a stable place to live or insurance or help

i make too much and too little

i live in a 10x10 room

ill be lucky if i get to retirement age and i STILL wont be able to provide for myself in any meaningful way

and what will i have accomplished? being a wage slave until im 70?

amazing how great how cool how fulfilling

there's nothing for me to look forward or anything for me to achieve

im not okay

im not strong i just dont hav ea fucking choice

i dont want to do this anymore

im hopeless

a grand total of maybe five people would even notice if i was gone i can't stop the ideations of just not being here anymore i can't do it anymore

fuck right off

idek if this vent will help me

i have no actionable plans or whatever

[hulijingemperor2]

I have exceeded my word limit for tumblr, so I have to post this chapter in parts■■■■ this is part 1

Yao : Xiaobao, Xiaoyu, this is your Nainai. 

Xiaobao: hey, Nainai.

Meng Shi: hi baby. *strokes his hair* you're so energetic, like A-Song. 

And you look so much like Lingling. 

Taihua: *shyly hugging Meng Shi's leg*

Xiaobao: Lingling?

Meng Shi: your biological grandma. 

Xiaobao: oh! 

Meng Shi: I'm so happy to have you. 

Your Meng genes are showing.

Xiaobao, this is my personal maid, sister figure and confidante, Sisi. 

Xiaobao: Sisi? That reminds me of when I went to Yucui building. There was someone named Sisi. 

Zhaocai: *face palms*

Sisi: isn't that a brothel in Huaizhou?

Meng Shi: you went to a brothel? 

Xiaobao: yea, I used to. 

Yao: Xiaobao, that's strictly prohibited. 

Huaizhou isn't a part of my empire, but still.

Xiaobao: ok A-Die, I won't do it again.

Yet one time I had saved a woman from being mistreated, so you should give me some credit! 

Yao: how virtuous! You're definitely my son. 

Qin Su: that's really heroic of you. 

Your A-Die had banned exploitation of women, then he let them get proper jobs. 

Equal to men. 

Xiaobao: A-Die is an amazing emperor indeed. 

Why don't you add Huaizhou? 

Yao: because it's owned by another emperor.

Huaien's dad.

And I don't think there are fox spirits there. 

Xiaobao: oh.

Yao: I own Annan though.

Meng Shi: mn. 

Babies, meet Huahua. 

*sits and put taihua on her lap* 

Xiaobao: hii taihua. I'm your new brother.

Call me, San ge.

Taihua: San ge. You look very fun.

Xiaobao: of course I am!

Taihua: are you going to be cool with Song gege? 

Xiaobao: yup. 

This is Xiaoyu, your big sis.

Taihua: oh waw! Hey Xiaoyu. 

Xiaoyu: you're a princess?

Taihua: mhm. 

Xiaoyu: I'm one too! 

And don't worry, Hua. I'll share my toys with you. 

Taihua: and I'll share mine with you too! But dont touch my gifts that Song gege gave me. 

Xiaoyu: I understand. I'm close to my gege too!

Wen Ruohan: *enters* Yao'er. So this is your adopted son with Meng blood. 

Xiaoyu: *scared* Nainai.

Meng Shi: he won't hurt you, dear.

Taihua: that's just yeye.

Yao: yes A-Die, isn't he lovely? 

Xiaobao: no offense, but you look so scary. 

Wen Ruohan: offense? That's a compliment. 

I'm Wen Ruohan, the former Wen sect leader! But now I'm Meng Shi's concubine.

Xiaobao: you're my yeye then?? So cool!

Wen Ruohan: yup. 

I'm only scary towards Yao'er's concubines.

Xue yang: no you're not.

Wen Ruohan: xue gui fei, would you mind.

Xiaobao: xue gui fei?

Yao: ah, now to introduce you to team dimple.

This is Xue yang, Xue gui fei.

Xue yang: 'sup.

Xiaobao: are you a relative of Xiaoyu? Her name is supposed to be xue lianqing, but she lost her memory for a while and we adopted her.

Xue yang: I don't really know actually. 

I grew up on the streets in Kuizhou.

Xiaobao: oh, how tragic. 

Xiaoyu's entire clan was massacred. And my family were good friends with the xues.

Xue yang: huh. What a surprise to see a fellow xue. 

Jiggy, I made her! Just for you. Just for you Jiggy.

Yao: *laughing* yangyang, this is not the time. 

Xue yang:  then when is the time, Jiggy. 

*hugs* Jiggy, I love you.

Rusong: you'll get used to it.

Xiaobao: team dimple is something else! I could look at them and laugh all day.

Mo xuanyu: Xiaobao, you're just like Yao gege! Fabulous as always. 

I'm your uncle mo, and I can give you a makeover if you like.

Xiaobao: I'll keep that in mind.

Su she: well you know me already. And Suyin is my cousin and head member of the Moling Su sect.

Xiaobao: yea. I'm a little familiar with you.

Suyin: Minshan. *points to Xichen* is that the Lan Zhan who gave you hard time? I'll give him a piece of my mind.

Su she: no no, that's his brother, Lan lips. 

Suyin: what? Lan. Lips is his name? 

Su she: it's actually Lan Xichen. But he's just as irritating. He always takes up Huangdi's attention.

Suyin: but Huangdi belongs to team dimple, well  it's the other way around.

Anyways I want to meet Lan zhan.

Meng Shi: oh Suyin, why do you want to see whiny zhan? There's nothing interesting about him.

Suyin: taihou, I hated how he treated Minshan, as well as Yao Huangdi. So I want to beat him up.

Meng Shi: oh my. 

You're a lot like your cousin. 

Xichen: ah, Taihou. You see I just mind my business 

Xiaobao, welcome to the family. I'm Lan Xichen.

Xiaobao: hey. Nice to meet you. You know Huaien can pass as a Lan sect member.

He's gorgeous too.

Xichen: that's right. He's very goodlooking and elegant.

But he seems shy.

Xiaobao: he'll open up soon. 

Xichen: I'm an introvert whisperer.

Huaisang: hey Xiaobao. So you're a Meng? That is really interesting.

Xiaobao: yea, and I'm happy I'm here.

I'm glad that the Meng dynasty is progressing. 

Huaisang: I'm happy too.

Mo xuanyu: Huaisang was shady. Like really shady. 

But he's afraid of Wen Ruohan so. 

Huaisang: xuanyu shhh!! I don't know anything at all.

Mo xuanyu: Huaisang, you know I'll call you out. Team d is the most real people you can meet.

And Xiaobao needs to know. 

Xiaobao: A-Die sure has some dramatic  people in his harem. Guess he's never bored.

Yao: you're right.

Mingjue: I'm nie Mingjue. Huaisang's elder brother.

Jiang cheng: and I'm Jiang cheng.

Xiaobao: ah, cool. Nice to meet you. 

Yao: I'm so glad you met everyone, dear.

Now time to unlock your hulijing attributes. 

Can you please kneel. 

Xiaobao: yea *kneels*

Team dimple: *kneels* 

Yao: not you, team dimple. 

Rusong: team d, can you simp a little later? 

Xiaobao: *closes eyes* 

Yao: *rests his thumb on Xiaobao's chest* 

Thereafter, his fox tail and ears appeared.

Yao: there you go.

Xiaobao: wooohoo!! I'm a fox!! I'm a hulijing! I'm so happy, A-Die! Huaien, look!

Do I look cute?

Huaien: *caresses his cheek* very cute* 

Xiaobao: heehee.

Rusong: you look fabulous. 

Xiaobao: thank you Rusong gege!

Xiaoyu: gege, can I touch your hulijing tail? 

Xiaobao: sure! 

Meng Shi: this is pure happiness, Yao'er. 

Yao: isn't it precious. *smile* 

Meng shi: he deserves all the love. 

Yao: definitely. *signals an attendant, who brought a tray with a golden hairpiece (guan) with a jade hairpin, a ceal and a couple of valuable gifts. 

Xiaobao: are these for me? 

Yao: all for you! Then I'll gift Xiaoyu something. 

*puts the guan in his hair* you're officially a Meng Dianxia, so you deserve a guan. 

I'll design you guans to look like the golden hairpieces you wear on a daily basis. 

I figured you like that style.

Xiaobao: thank you! But this one is beautiful too! 

Yao: this is your Dianxia ceal. And these are just boxes of precious gems, gold and ornaments. 

Xiaobao: I love that!! 

Yao: I have already commissioned clothes and jewelry for you and Xiaoyu, as well as these beautiful outfits for tomorrow. 

Xiaobao: tomorrow? Is there any event?

Yao: of course there is. I'm hosting a party for you. 

Everyone must know that you're a part of the Meng family.

Xiaobao: I can't wait! 

Jingyi: A-Die's parties are always the best.

Rusong: yea. Last time we got a chocolate fountain.

Xiaobao: REALLTY??? I heard that's really exotic! 

Rusong: Nothings really exotic when it comes to A-Die. 

Jingyi: remember when xue yang got a sugar rush?!

Rusong: oh gosh *laughing* he was bouncing off the walls.

Jingyi: we should ban him from the chocolate fountain.

Xue yang: oh you try! 

Xiaobao: why is he like this.

Rusong: he has a crazy sweet tooth. And A-Die always gives him candy. 

But it's just a coping mechanism and the childhood trauma. 

You recognize his broken finger?

Xiaobao: no? 

I thought he just liked fancy gloves to be honest.

Rusong: some idiot rolled over his hand and broke his finger, when he wanted candy. 

Xiaobao: that's so cruel. 

Xiaoyu: *thugs on his sleeve* Huangdi diedie. What are you going to gift me? 

Yao: well dear *lifts her up* All Meng ladies deserve Meng jewelry. 

Qin Su: here you go, baby. *puts a bracelet on her hand* You're also a Meng now. 

Xiaoyu: oooo shiney. Thank you A-niang! 

Qin Su: now you and Hua can match.

Yao: amazing..

Xiaobao, do you have a sword? Do you know how to play any instrument?

Xiaobao: yea I have a sword but I'm bad at swordfighting. It's not really my thing.

Yao: that's fine. I won't force you then. 

But if you wish to learn, I'll teach you. 

Xiaobao: thank you! Can you teach me music?! 

Yao: of course. We're a musical family, so you must. 

~~~ 

[wujico]

tw: death, sh

today sucked.

i thought it was going to go well... it started off well- so i assumed things would run smoothly. 🍀 didnt wake up until i was already at work, so the entire morning i was doom scrolling on tikok waiting for a text from him :,) im so pathetic, aren't i?

my mind was a little quiet though, given the anxiety i had last night. i woke up expecting the worse. silence is better than hearing anything. sometimes i wanna shut out my headmates forever, if it means i dont have to think.

ill never get that pleasure though, be it the thoughts from my depression, or my mind running as a cause of the adhd... and i dont even wanna get started on the malidaptive daydreaming disorder.

i hear everything and feel everything so heavily; maybe im cursed to have my emotions turned up all the way. ive always been called a "cry baby", though i dont think ive cried in front of anyone again since that one day.

as i write this im on my break at work. my hands are shaking in the break room, from the anxiety and the cold. i think the cold just makes the anxiety worse, especially with certain headmates who are serverly triggered by snow / cold weather.

i always used to like the snow, now i feel like dying when i wake up and see the crytal flakes falling outside my window.

im waiting for a message from 🍀 right now. he replied to what i sent him but didn't say anything more and i cant help but be worried... he never tells me anything anymore... when did i become such an unproachable person?

i think ive always been that way.

my breaks over, maybe ill write more tonight.

its tonight now,

i saw an old woman today, at my work. she reminded me of my grandma who died a few years back. ever since i started working here ive gotten better at talking to people, especially to lonely old people, who just need a outlet. i can do some small talk, even though im awkward and it burns me out right afterwards. i can never rest during work because i constanly replay every conversation and nitpick every detail of what i said and how i could be better.

but anyway, she reminded me of my grandma.

i never talked much with my grandma, not seriously. and i hate myself for it. i so blatantly had a favourite grandma back then. and now the one i pushed away is the one i miss the most. she was also so kind to me, even when i hated myself.

she used to make me crochet things when i was younger, before i was even born. i have them in my baby box, little signs for my room, little toys, little stuffed animals... she loved doing that and she was really good at it. she made me an entire dollhouse, which i dont have anymore. oh how i long to play with my barbies on the fabric she carved out herself.

she used to do it all the time, make things for me, especially when she used to babysit me and my brother for weeks on end during the summer months. as i got older, things like TV started to take over our life. me and my brother would still play outside a lot, and we'd play together inside too.... but slowly playing games like uno and skippo with my grandma got less and less "cool" in a way. me and my brother would turn to our wii and the tv (to watch dantdm together) before we'd chose to play a game with her.

i remember it vividly; shed sit at our table, doing crosswords, crochet, or watching gillmore girls. sometimes shed even ask, "ji, do you wanna play a game with me?" and even then, id say no.

i regret it. hours and hours shed sit there. i mean, sometimes i would play games with her, but to a kid... dantdm and stampy are much more fun than uno.

we had this thing, when id watch those youtubers, when they started being extra loud. shed yell at me jokinly why im watching british men play a game- maybe she couldnt undertsand the appeal of minecraft at all. i would giggle, turn it down a bit, then start infordumbing about what hes doing. she'd shake her head and walk off saying she didnt understand, but i saw her smiling anyway.

we went camping all the time with her and my grandpa, park our little tent trailer next to their bigger trunk-pulled one. they had a dog at that time, a german shepherd named shadow. she was such a sweetheart, i used to love running around with her in the surroundings forests. my grandma would struggle with making her bed and other things because it was tucked in the very back of the trailer. i used to go and help her if she "rewarded me nicely", which she always did. she always got me the best snacks that my parents wouldnt let me have. camping was a treat in itself, but it was better with them.

and we'd play games, over and over and over again.

its not the same anymore. my grandpa is gonna sell the trailer, shadow is dead- and so is my grandma. the areas we used to go to i never set foot in anymore.

i dont think i properly got a chance to grieve over her; i never get a chance to grieve over anyone. life moves on immediately, at in that case it was no different.

ive never thought about it since it happend... i think it was about 5 years ago maybe more. she had a heart attack of some sort; was send in an ambulance to the hospital. i was a kid, i didnt think much of it. 'shed get better' id tell myself, because at time my other grandpa had been in and out of hospital for cancer and he seemed to be doing alright. oh how wrong i was.

im crying now, blurring the letters on my phone. the lights in my room are giving me a headache. i never thought about it again, what i saw, what i experienced. i thought i had forgotten it, but for some reason, tonight, i remember it all.

the hallways of the hospital are white with brown accents, but theres a hint of colour within the plants. it smells like a hospital usually does; sterile and stangant. i didnt really mind it that much at the time. i was with my aunt and my dad, both my grandmas children. we walked to the icu. the windows werent glass though, like they are in the movies, i couldnt see into any of the rooms until we got to my grandmas, which im still thankful for, because i know i wouldnt have liked what i saw.

when we got to my grandmas room, it was really dark. her bed was against the oppsite wall to the door. there were no windows outside. there were two chairs on the left wall. the rest of the room was filled up completely by machines and tubes and wires.

my grandma was in the middle of the bed, not moving, barely breathing. she was in a coma. she was so pale, so lifeless. i had never seen her alseep before.

i sat on the chair and listened to my aunt speak to her. i wanted to cry and beg her to wake up. but i didnt. my dad asked if i was okay, i just nodded my head. my throat was dry. i still remember how peacful she looked. but i wasnt dumb, i knew it was a sort of peaceful that couldnt mean anything good.

im so sorry grandma, that i didnt say anything to you. im sorry i didnt say i love you. im so sorry that i couldnt speak, that my words were caught in my throat again. i can never speak when it matters the most. im so sorry im so sorry im so sorry

they say coma patients are still aware of their surroundings... ill always live with the guilt of never saying goodbye.

she died a few days later. my uncle picked me up from work— from my old job at a movie theatre. i was gonna go see my grandma again. i was really dissociated that day, so its all blurry. but i remember eating popcorn. my uncle started driving me home instead of the hospital. my mom told me she died when i got home.

i hate myself for not being able to say goodbye. i hate myself for all the lost time i never spent with her. i hate myself for chosing other activites than hanging out with her. i hate myself for never being able to hold a conversation with her as i grew older. i hate myself for having a favorite and for treating her differently. i hate myself for never saying i loved her.

i couldnt cry over her, besides the initial tears. i dont know why tonight is different, why do i have to remember everything all of a sudden?

i really want to die. im six months clean from sh, but i think im going to end that tonight.

- ji

(1 / 14 / 2024)

[freebooter4ever]

My friend and i spent much of today running around ALL over the san gabriel valley hunting down christmas decorations. And its fun because this is my very first christmas with my very own home (kinda) and very own real life actual tree, so i've been trying to decorate with what my idea of a 'california' christmas' would look like. And like for sure thats been an aspiration ever since this:

But its also bittesweet because here i am finally with a place to put up decorations and go all out, and i dont have anything with memories.

My mom 'separated' from us when i was eleven/twelve, and christmas kind of limped along - it was the only time of year my family was under the same roof. So it was this strangeness of mom and dad pretending to get along for like one morning out of the year. And then the divorce was finalized and suddenly teenage-idiot me was tasked with being the entire holiday spirit. And i tried - i had ONE christmas CD: bing crosby's white christmas. So i played that non stop and dad obliged me by at least putting up the tree every year since i physically could not. But other than that it was all left up to me. And dad was dealing with clinical depression, spending most of his time in the old master bedroom whenever the two of us weren't exercising - hiking/gym.

I would put up all the ornaments and string the lights and bake the cookies and sing along to bing. My baby brother occassionally would help a little but he was only eight - mostly he just would play with the toy train i set up under the tree (and the toy 'castle' i would set up)(mom wasnt there to tell me it wasn't properly 'christmas' LOL).

Like dont get me wrong - it was WONDERFUL having mom gone - the yelling, screaming, and abuse went down to nearly zero. But it also felt as if the life went out of my dad with it. And i just had to keep smiling.

THEN i go off to college, dad marries the bitchiest rich blonde bitch to ever bitch in secret without even telling his parents. Suddenly 'christmas' is back, suddenly dad wants to reinstate our old traditions. And to give him credit he does try to get jord and i to play along, but neither my brother nor i are having this shit. I stop coming home for christmas, staying in pittsburgh and working instead (and my roomates would usually go home to families), and i discover that i actually am bitter for all the years i felt like i was alone in holding our fucked up family together with a piece of string. Dad sells our old house and moves into the rich bitch's millionaire mansion, who disapproves of my baby brother so as soon as jord turns 18 dad kicks him out WITHOUT Telling me. Dad also doesn't tell me that he sells all our old ornaments, christmas decorations, and lights. The new house is covered in photos of the rich bitch and the two step kids. I arrive and discover my dad has left my brother with nohere to go except my abusive mother's place, i yell at my dad a LOT, rich bitch hates me, dad and i stop talking. My poor italian grandparents who have been the backbone through all of this and also dislike rich bitch are very long suffering (my grandma now in ohio after grandpa died likes to joke that rich bitch would not 'survive' life on the farm and thats why she doesnt visit when my dad comes)(grandma is right lol)

TLDR

This christmas, finally, i get to figure out what celebrating means to me on my own without any roommates, or work, or family as a distraction. And honestly? I expected it to feel lonelier. But i think the truth is that the christmases of my childhood when i felt like i was smiling and miming like a clown to a passive depressed audience were far far lonelier than this ever could. Like i have friends here who will help me carry the tree to/from the lot. I have friends who will search for the perfect lights and succulent pots just because they find it fun. My bestest friend over at the artist's house - currently in covid quarantine - has invited me to help decorate there every year since i arrived in LA and i am sure they will do the same for me.

And like my favorite 90s rom com would say: there may not be the someone, but there is the hope of a someone. Which is a heck of a lot better than being a pawn in the middle of a failed loveless marriage, and the years i felt like a stranger renting a little room in someone else's home (no matter how close my friends and i were). Maybe the shine will wear off quickly and i will start feeling how very alone i am? But for now i get to enjoy going completely silly excited over something as simple as choo-choo train ribbon in the craft store.

[diavolosthots]

Can I request the demon brpthers finding something important that MC lost so out of happiness/gratefulness MC literally tackles them with affection ?

I think I understood this right so here it goes. I just did random things and hoped they'd make somewhat sense

THE BROTHERS finding something important and giving it back to MC

Lucifer:

The day he found a random gold necklace with a cross on it in the bathroom wasn't all too special, in the beginning at least. He knew it wasn't Asmo's, seeing as it had a cross on it, so it could only belong to you. He knocked on your door to give it back, was ready to say "you're welcome" and walk on his merry way, but instead, you saw the necklace and body slammed him against the nearest wall, clinging to him as if your life depended on it. Now, in reality, he absolutely loved that. He loved having you cling to him like you need him and owed your life to him, but he has a reputation to uphold and just cant let his brothers find him like this. "it's my grandma's... She gave it to me before she passed..." So, with a soft squeeze and a warm smile, he pushes you back and hands you the necklace, "I'm glad I found it for you, then..." Hes more than glad. Please body slam him again. In private, next time.

Mammon:

"Oi, I found this picture and it ain't any of us, so if this you or what?" He held a picture up, which had been folded to properly fit into a wallet. You gasped in shock, running up to him and yanking it out of his grasp. "You found it! I thought i lost it.... Oh, Mammon!" Your arms wrapped around him tightly as you leaned up to kiss his cheek again and again. He was flustered, and even thats an understatement. He just brought back a picture and you give him this kind of treatment? Maybe he should bring pictures back more often... "That's my baby brother....i miss him..." He scoffed, wrapping his arms back around you and pushing you into him a little too tightly, probably to be selfish. "Yeah, well... You could always borrow mine." You laughed in response, shaking your head.

Leviathan:

He had noticed a while ago that you left a jacket in his room. He meant to give it back, he really did, but it smelled so much like you and he kinda just got hooked on it? But next time you were over.... He did decide to hold it up. "Hey... Uhn... You left this...?" You gasped, taking it from him and hugging it tightly, tearing up and then hugging him. "I-i was looking everywhere for it... How did you find it...?" Between sobs, he understood you and awkwardly wrapped his arms around you too "I uh.... I found it in here..." Well... That wasn't too much of a lie, was it? Right now he's trying not to hyperventilate due to the close proximity of your body against his.

Satan:

Unlike some people *cough* Levi *cough* he gave you your things back right away. The minute he found your journal, he handed it back.... After sneaking in a few peeks. He quickly noticed that it wasn't yours though, although he knew it belonged to you, but that wasnt your hand writing. He knew your handwriting like his own. "You... You had it...?" Your emotions were mixed when he presented it to you before you finally lost it and pulled him in, jumping up and wrapping your arms and legs around him, which barely gave him time to catch himself, and you. "Thank you... That was my dad's journal..." It meant a lot to you, especially after he passed, and you appreciated satan being kind enough to give it back, and he appreciated being hugged like this; keep going.

Asmodeus:

You body slammed him onto his bed before he could even open the door, quickly grabbing the scarf from his hands and holding it up to your nose "how did it get mixed in with your stuff?! Nevermind...!" You plastered kisses all over his face, still clinging to the scarf tightly as he laughed. He wasnt quite sure what was going on, but apparently it belonged to your aunt and it meant a lot to you, which means it meant a lot to him by default and he's happy to deliver it back. "Oh love... If I knew it meant that much to you, I wouldve searched for it sooner.... Can I have another kiss?"

Beelzebub:

It was so random. Beelzebub knows every plate in this house, for obvious reasons, and he knows they don't own fine china like this. Bringing it back to you made you gasp out in shock and quickly take it from him. "This is gonna sound ridiculous... My childhood best friend turned out to be super good with ceramics... She made it her job later on in life... She made me this and I treasure it so much... Our friendship well apart, but... This keeps the memories you know?" You set it down gently before wrapping yourself tightly around beel, who nodded in response. He gets it, holding onto the memories. Right now he appreciates holding onto you.

Belphegor:

This blanket wasn't his, he knows for a fact. Although it is warm and fluffy and he would like to keep it. He didn't give it back, per se, and you actually found him wrapped up in it, quickly yanking it from his body which is what woke him up. "Why did you take the blanket?" He found you hugging it tightly, on the verge of tears. You shook your head, taking a shaky breath, "i misplaced it... I dont know... Seeing you have it was both a relief and a curse... My mom made this blanket... She's no longer with us, and... I use this blanket for everything; comfort, sadness, happiness..." He only nodded, taking your invitation when you opened your arms and wrapped him tightly up in the blanket; he gets it. This does feel like everything you ever wanted, although he isn't sure if it's because of the blanket or you.

[itsmadamehydra]

My Savior || Wayne McCullough

A/N: Just some teenage girl trying to write the story inside her head, hope u like it.

Pairing: Wayne McCullough x oc

Warnings: rape, intention of rape, harassment, blood mention, bullying, language (a little strong)

.................

.................

I've always like to watch him by far, he just seems different from the rest (and oh boy, he is).

The first time I saw him I was in 7th grade. I was just one more girl of the many others that her tities just had started to show and my period started to visit me. I remember that day clearly, I was sitting at the hallway with my bestfriend at the time, eating infront of our lockers when I saw him.

"Am telling ya girl, the answer of number 5 was c." I said trying to reason with her about the science test answers "I told you that if u needed help to study, I could help ya." I smile at her and move my arm upward to touch her shoulder

"Yeah, yeah, I know...are you sure it was not D?" she said frowning her eyebrows once more. We stayed in silence for a sec before bursting into laughter and tears

Little by little our laughs started to fade, allowing ears to hear the background and aswell some loud voices, it sounded like an argument but by the hears of it a fight was going to start soon. "What you think is happening over there?" Cassie murmured, I stared at the end of the hallway where apparently was were the voices were coming from.

"I don't know..." my lips formed a thin line while I was thinking about what could have been happening in there, "You wanna, you know, go and see?" I looked back at my friend

"Freak yeah" she laughed grabbing my hand and running down the hallway to see the soon to be fight.

Once we got there, there was a mass of students surrounding what appeared to be the ones who where arguing. "Ugh, I can't see, I hate been so small." I said, "Hey, that smallness is beautiful and you know you can use that in your own benefit" Cassia said and winked at me.

"I mean, yeah but I can't-" my word stopped at the moment I heard a want sounded and I believe to be a punch in the face. "You saw that!?" Cassie said, "That was freaking awesome, please tell me you saw it!" "Um, nah Cassie, I cant see a crap" i said while trying to find a whole where to see through.

It was only a matter of seconds until more punches were heard. I started pushing people more frantically, I wanted to see what was happening. When I get pass a few amount of studens I almost slipped, looked sown to see what was it and it was stains of blood, only a few but still.

"Oh gosh, disgusting." When I look up only a few students are still in the cafeteria and a guy wearing a grey hoddie was just there, staring at the bloodie face of another guy. I stared back at the hoddie guy and noticed a little hammer in his hand, and the words just came out of my mouth without even noticing, "Why the hammer? Want to be a constructed or something?" He just stared at me and pass by me without saying a word and keeping a neutral face.

"Who the hell was that crazy ass weirdo?" I hear Cassie's voice behind me. "I don't know" I responded, "But I will know...one day."

"Ok,ok, am not going to get in between your little search thingi but am sure he is not good news." Cassie said, "You saw what he did, and he has a FREAKING hammer, y/n! Covered in blood y/n!" She grabbed my shoulders from behind, "I think we all understood the message, stay the fuck away from him, honey."

And I just smiled.

Months later I learned his name. Wayne, Wayne McCullough. Fits the ring if you ask me. Everyone was speaking about how violent, crazy and wierdo he was, about how he was going to show up at your house to beat the hell put of you.

I just observed him by far, well, I like to think that I noticed him. I noticed how he usually beats up those who are some assholes jerks that have only one brain cell as much. Noticed that he is not much of a talker and a shy boy. Noticed how he makes his lips thin when he gets lost in thoughts. How he closes his fist when he is about to do something. His strangely high pain tolerance. His pale skin and dark hair appeared to me to be very llamative and aswell his strength. He was and is skinny but somehow has a great strength, maybe do to the unincredible amounts of fights he gets in. Experience makes the master is what the say...right?

Years went by, we entered to highschool and the nervousness along with the fast beating, sweating and butterflies were still there every time i either tought about him or saw him walking around.

Cassie stayed with me for a while until she decided to join the group of nasty ass bitches with no brain cells who believed no one was better than them. While I...well, I stayed small for a big part I guess, always with good grades, teachers love me and try to be nice with every one I guess.

Everything was going great until Cassie along with some guys recorded me somehow while being drunk and them trying to overpass the boundaries, and let me tell ya.. that was just the start.

The had videos of me at the school bathroom, pictures of my underwear under my skirts and dresses, them trying to touch me. I had to learn to defend myself, stopped using skirts, dresses, shorts even do I loved wearing the. Replace my shoes with tennis and always had hair ties.

"Y/n, wake up! You're going to be late for school, don't think ama wait for you!" I mom yelled.

"Yes, mom! Dont worry, am up!" I run down the stairs with my backpack, went to the kitchen, grabbed an apple and went straight to the car.

"Oh for God sake, y/n" she said went she looked at me and noticed my new hair style.

"What? You don't like it? I just cut it a little." I satered at her innocently

"Your father is not gonna like it and you know it." She said and the stress lines appeared in her forehead, "You know this is his weekend and-"

She couldn't finish her sentence because I started taking, "Am not going to that dickheads house, mother." I said strainly, "Don't want to see his and face of that bitch he cheated you with..." i lowly said but loud enough to hear.

"I know, honey but you have to and besides you get to see your brother!" She patted my thigh, "Haven't seen him in a while right?" She said with a sad tone

"You should be the one seeing him...not me." I stared outside the window, there were just some trees and houses and garbage.

Mom and dad divorced a while back, he cheated on her. The house was a mess that day, screams and broken glass everywhere. Sammy was lucky, he was at grandma's but I was home...listening to every single word. That was also the first time a sneaked out and the first time I sort-of spoke to Wayne.

"What are you doing here?" I heard someone said behind me, I looked and it was fucking Wayne

"Just trying to have some quietness i guess..." I stared at my fingers and started playing with them because of my nervousness, "...What are you doing here?" I asked softly

And he stayed silent...the whole time after that. Either way, his company was nice and the side profile, ufff, amazing.

"Ok, we are here." I stared at the building for a sec before giving my mother a kiss in her cheek and entered to the building.

"Hey y/n! Nice ass!" That was the jerk of all jerks, Jonathan.

I turned around and stared at him, "Oh yeah?" He nodded, "Want to see me shop of your dick?" Changed my tone while saying that into a lower and more serious tone. He just stared at me with sealed lips and left.

I continued walking to my locker and I come to see tgat my freaking lock is broken, I search in all the spaces but nothing is missing.

"Come on! They had just changed me of locker!" I silently yelled. Started grabbing my books for the next few classes when I felt a hand in my shoulder, by instinct I grabbed the wrist, pushed the person against the locker and added pressure in the throat with my other arm.

"Hey y/n" Orlando smiled, "New move?" I chuckled and removed my arm, now, standing face to face I respond

"You know you shouldn't do that Orlando bunny." I laugh st the nickname I gave him a few time ago. Orlando was one of the few FEW people who talked to me, well, he talked to everyone but still.

"I know... I just forgot I guess man." He looked down, "Y/n...have your tities grown bigger?" His face looked confused.

I slapped his head and punched his shoulder, "Could you please stop looking and thinking 'bout tities when am around you?"

"I mean, yeah sure...and sorry about your lock." He points the locker, "Wayne thought it was still his but since-" I cut him off before he could continue

"Wayne?" I asked confused

"Yeah, Is tha-" i cut him off again

"Why did he tho?" I murmured staring at my lock in hand.

"It used to be his locker but oh well...he missed school for 3 weeks and yeah." He grabs his backpacks laces after explaining.

"Oh...ok, is he still here tho?" I looked at Orlando

"I guess..." he was about to say pther thing when the bell ring and we started to go toour classes, "See you later gorgeous!" He yells from the corner of the hallway.

I stayed there...just staring at my lock for a while, then order my things fast and left to class. What I didn't know was that someone was watching at me.

Three days later, i was walking back home and i heard s car going at full speed and nasty comments were started to be listend. I kept walking trying tk pretend they didn't exist when the car is suddenly over the sideway and infront of me.

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME ASSHOLES!!" I yelled.

"But...you are bot dead right, bitch?" Jonathan said getting out of the car. There were five, 2 guys and 3 girls. "Don't prefer to suck my dick and be my slut, promise I'll pay a good amount." He said infront of me,

"She is already a slut baby." Veronica said

"I bet she has sleeped with half school, wouldn't surprise me if you haven been org*e or something." You know, comments are comments, you are the one who decide what hurt you and whats does not, but being Cassie the one who said that...broke my freaking heart.

I couldn't stand it anymore, wanted to leave the place so i came up with a plan very fast. I walked closer to Jonathan trying to be the most seductive I could, touched his chest, abs and got closer to his ear and said, "You are going to regret everything" Punched him with all my strenght in this genitiles, stomp on his feet, punched his nose and ran the faster I could out of there.

"You bitch!" I heard from far but i continued running, I couldn't stop, i was scared, didn't know what could happen if the get me. I could hear the car engines behind me, but i didn't stop.

I was close a bridge, ran underneath it, passed some houses but i could still hear the voices and car. My legs hurt, i needed to catch my breath, i could hear my heart beat, my body felt on fire. When I less expected am suddenly trapped, there were some abandoned buildings and warehouses but no way to get put of there. This was it, my end.

"Couldn't escape from me you nasty little bitch!?" I heard his voice, i was never one to pray but believe when i say i begged to God to save me. "You ain't going anywhere...bitch" he was behind me, I could sense it.

My hair was pulled, he pulls me by my hair to his car and i notice that it's just him and another guy. Am not getting out of here.

"We are going to have so much fun!" He licks my cheek and i try to kick him wherever.

"HELP!" I yelled, "SOMEBODY PLEASE, HELP!" my voice sounded horrific, like if i hadn't drank a single drop of water in ages, "please" y murmure my last pledge before he finally puts me over the capo of his car.

"No one's gonna help you, you slut." He says, the other guy was just watching and standing still, doing nothing.

I gave up, didn't even notice I was crying until I tasted the salt in my lips. I felt him over me, unbucking my pants and then...i didnt felt his weight anymore, instead, i heard a cry of pain, and then another cry, and another and another.

I lifted my head and there he was, grey hoddie and little hammer in hand...my savior. I smiled.

My smile just grew bigger and bigger every second I saw that boy swing that motherfucker hammer, every second that Jonathan's blood was spilled. I lool around in search pf the pther guy scared that he might try to grab but I get calm when i see him unconscious on the floor.

A few minuts later th cries stop and i look up, Jonathan was missing 3 teeths and face covered with blood, i think he could even have a brocken rib or something.

Am sitting on top of the car's capo when a feel a slight, fragile touch.

"You ok?" Wayne askes pulling a string of my hair behind my ear.

"...now I am." I smile to him and he returns a little small tiny one with a grin. I was about to say something else when he suddenly speaks

"Want to be my girlfriend or whatever?" He says looking exhausted, I chuckle

"Try a little harder and I might be." I say soflty with a small thin smile and he avoids my eyes but I still get to notice a small blush.

...................

Hey! So, yeah. This is my first ever published thing. Hope you enjoyed it and if you want a part two or to keep writing, am open to any suggestion! Am not very good with the warnings section so if you could help me with it, i would totally apreciate that!

Thank you for reading,

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

Grandparents Day

Hi!!! Sorry for posting it then deleting it, I decided I didn’t want to post it now I want to! So sorry about that haha:) this is just the styles family going to the park and visiting the grandparents! I hope you enjoy 💕

Today Y/n and Harry are leaving their cozy cottage and scoundering out into the real world, leaving the home-y confines of their cottage and going to visit the grandparents for a late lunch.

They are having a picnic out at the park, Harry offered to host it at their cottage and have it out in their backyard- claiming the flowers and plants would make great scenery, But the family had denied. They said the four needed to get out and see more people than the customers at the farmers market.

The couple of course agreed, renting out a park pavilion for the day and packing up their contribution of the picnic foods. “Come on, my love, mummy made sun tea!” Harry coos, holding Violet's hand and hoisting her up into her booster seat.

“Yummy!” She cheers, letting Harry clip her in the seat securely. Harry buckles it right under her chest, making sure the big buckle is positioned correctly. “Comfy?” Harry questions, holding a thumb up for her. She smiles widely, showing her small baby teeth and sticking her tiny thumb up for him. “Good!” She cheers, Harry smiling and softly tickling her belly, kissing her cheek then brushing his hand from her hair to her cheek, softly giving it a pinch before he shoots her a wink, softly closing the door.

Y/n walks out, the picnic basket in her hand along with Forest laying in her arm. “I’ve got that, sunshine” Harry hums, pushing up his glasses and grabbing the picnic basket from her hands, the kids diaper bag balanced on top of it. He places it in the back, Y/n thanking him and buckling Forest into his bus seat.

**

“Come on, sweet pea. Let’s get you out of the bus!” Harry coos, pulling Violet out of the bus seat and resting her on his hip. He circles to the back of the bus, grabbing the diaper bag and the wooden picnic basket, heading toward the big pavilion entry. Y/n walks a couple steps ahead of him, guiding the way while he hauls the food behind her.

“Hello!” Harry’s mum greets, making the man look up with a smile. “Hi!” He sings, his wife offering her a polite smile while she deals with a slightly fussy Forest. Y/ns parents greet them, the styles family making their way over to the picnic table. “Go see nana!” Harry coos, letting Violet slip down from his hip and land on her feet, padding away on the concrete flooring to go visit her grandparent, getting her cheeks pinched and dollars slipped to her behind her parents backs.

They all finally greet each other, laughs and conversations laying over the other until they all settle down and take their seats on the old red chipping bench of the picnic tables. Harry pulls Violet on his lap, making sure she’s not running off and getting lost. (She likes to do that when they go off to the park- which isn’t often.) Harry slides her plate toward her, the girl's sippy cup full of sun tea, balanced between her chubby hands.

“It's time to eat, sunshine.” Harry announces to violet, pulling her next to him on the picnic table bench. She stretches her little neck to look at the array of food everyone had brought. She makes quick grabby hands for the fruit sandwiches Harry hand prepared for the outing. Harry catches her in the act and grabs her hand before she can shove a bite into her mouth, pulling her hand away and kissing the back of it, shoving an orange baby spoon in her hand instead. He puts a small portion of summer pasta on her plate, the girl forming a tight pout on her lips before she stabs the pasta and shoves it in her mouth angirly, mad her daddy didn't let her have dessert first.

“How is the farm?” Anne asks while she holds Forest, holding a sleepy baby in one arm and feeding herself with the other, something the youngest parents out of the group have mastered.

Y/n finishes her bite, wiping her mouth off on the floral printed napkin before answering annes question. “Everything is good. We sold a bunch at the farmers market a couple weeks ago.” Harry nods along, serving himself while everyone passes the bowls and plates of food around, complimenting each other on their dishes quietly. “We’re thinking of getting some bunnies. Violet would love it.” Harry adds, violet instantly snapping her head up at the mention of adding the fluffy white animal to the family farm. “Bunnies?!” she asks, making the group laugh.

“Yep,” Harry says, licking his thumb and rubbing red sauce from her face, the little girl's face scrunching up while she pushes his large hand away. “You're gonna eat them?” Y/n’s dad asks, the family shaking her head, violet getting visibly upset by the questions. They dont eat bunnies! Bunnies are for petting and loving. “No, just have them as pets. We dont eat meat, we haven't for a while.” Harry informs, violet being his little sidekick and nodding along to every word he has to say.

“So are you getting them?” Anne asks, Violet looking up at Harry with so much hope. She loves bunnies, she draws them all the time, it's just one big circle, a smaller one for the head, then four tiny ones for the feet and a happy face made with two dots and a curved line but it's a bunny to her and she loves it. “...yeah,” the father slowly nods. Y/n gives him sharp eyes. They were supposed to surprise Violet and Forest with the new addition to their farm, even though forest wouldn't be that enthusiastic, he's only four months old.

“What about preschool? Are you going to send her to preschool?” y/n’s mum barges into the conversation, always nagging at her daughter to get the kids out. They do get the kids out, just not often. They have playdates and go to the park to socialize with the other kids but they are usually inside and if they do leave they stay together, no disturbing the people around them.

“Were still deciding on whether to homeschool her or send her to Harry's old preschool.” Y/n answers her nons nagging questions. She would love for Violet to stay with them, it's not like she wants to go out and see all these kids, she's a very antisocial toddler. She is shy and nervous around new people, if it's not her mummy, daddy, and little brother she usually doesn't prefer to be around them for long periods of time.

“Just let the kid breathe! She probably wants to be with other kids ever not and then, you know.”

Y/n tries not to get frustrated but she doesn't need people telling her how to parent, especially when they dont know how her child feels being around people that arent her immediate family.

Y/n sighs, rubbing her eyes. “Violet doesn't like being around other people for a long time. I dont want to send her away for three hours a day to a place where she isn't comfortable. Especially when we are already teaching her stuff at home and she is doing great.” she argues back, harry pulls a hand on the small of her back and rubs softly. He knows she gets annoying about things like this, she is usually a very zen person.

Harry 100% backs her up on this. He knows how anxious his little one can get when she is around new people- or people who aren't her parents. Why would they send her off to a preschool when they can teach her ABC’s at home, how to write her name, counting, and even more that they teach at a preschool. They can have one on one time with their child when the teacher wouldn't be able to focus on just one child at a time. They even get to teach her more about the animals, show her what noises animals make and what colors they are up close and personal.

“I think it would just be nice for her to make some friends,”

Harry senses some trepidation, and he doesn't want Violet to watch her mumma and grandma to get into a disagreement. Not that it would get ugly, Harry just prefers his kids ears aren't around bad language, and when a disagreement happens the adults tend to get loose lips.

“Hey, are you done? Let's go play, you can eat this on the swings.” Harry grabs a fruit sandwich, picking the girl up and excusing them while he walks into the wood chip filled playground. Violet munches on her desert when she slides down bright yellow slides with Harry, sitting on his lap while they both sing out “weeeee!”

Y/n helps everyone pack up, throwing away paper cups and plates in the big rusty trash cans that they had in the pavilion. She watches Harry and Violet chase each other, watching them closely since Violet happens to be a very accident prone (almost) two year old. She keeps to herself while she stuffs drinks back in blue coolers, stuffing their tupperware back in their picnic basket and leaving the sun tea out because they had seemed to enjoy that.

While the rest of the crew cleans up Harry chases Violet around the playground, the black floors being filled with wood chips that were once stuck on little ones shoes, or maybe some naughty kids were bringing them up on the jungle gym to play around in them. “Hey, watch your step, pumpkin!” Harry yells before Violet misses her step and falls over a big black chunky step, falling right into the wood chips. Cries instantly fell from her mouth, she was just trying to run down the playground steps but her chubby legs couldn't keep up.

“Hey,” Harry pouts, sitting on the black step and pulling her onto his thighs. “Are you okay, sweet pea?” Harry asks, dusting off the debris on her knees and hands. She huffs as she cries, her bottom lip poking out while tears roll down her cheek, her nose and cheeks growing pink and hot from her crying. Harry gives her a big pout when he sees her knee bleeding, He hopes she doesnt have a splinter.

“Lets go get you clean your boo boo’s up” Harry mumbles, pulling her up to his chest and kissing all along her hair line, letting her cry in his neck. He walks back up to the pavilion in search of the diaper bag, they have a first aid kit stashed in there, it's a necessity when you have a bambi-like toddler.

y/n watches Harry set down a crying violet, fishing for a first aid kit. “What happened?” she sighs, handing the little girl her sippy cup. Harry glaces up at his wife for a second before looking back down at his toddler, preparing to clean her boo boo’s. “She fell,” he cleans her cuts up only making her cry more, her hands were only scraped, but she had a small cut on her knee. He adds some neosporin, patching on a baby shark bandaid before kissing over her cut.

“All better?” the girl huffs, wiping her tears. She looks at her knee, holding up two fingers like she's going to pinch something, Harry laughs. “Lets go sing baby shark somewhere else, your nana might give me a boo boo.”

Y/n laughs, Harry kissing her and Forest's head before they sit on the park bench together, their singing still heard.

The grandparents all swarm over the free child, watching him sleep peacefully. Y/n laughs awkwardly, hoping that Harry would be back soon to distract them or so Violet could play with them. “Are you putting this one in pre school?” Y/n scoffs at her mothers nagging, surprised it's only been an hour of hearing nagging about their kids.

“He's a real momma's boy. He's gonna be a heartbreaker.'' Robin laughs, making Y/n smile and laugh, her boy isn't dating because no one's ever gonna be good enough.

They decide to join the rest on the playground, the men playing with violet- or Harry pushing Violet on the swing while the men talk to him. Anne and Y/n’s mom join her on the park bench, the small boy finally waking up from his long nap. They talk about the farm and the kids while the sun sets, loud giggles from violet fill the park while Harry pushes her higher and higher. “It's beautiful out,” Anne says, looking up at the glowing sky, a painting of orange, purple, and blue framing the cloudy sky.

“It is,”

Hiii!! I hope you enjoyed reading part three!! I’m sorry for being a tease and posting it then deleting it. I was in my teasing era. Anyways, thank you for everything, you have all been so fucking amazing, like it shocks me how sweet and supportive you all are, thank you!!! It means so much!!! I love you all. My requests are open, I’m currently writing part four and then I will be putting out a blurb about when y/n was pregnant with Forest after part four is out. Thank you for everything!!!

[spinecutter]

so, okay. summary of how i think this is gonna go because if i dont write it down i wont be able to stop thinking about it.

my dad is gonna do his absolute best to act supportive in like the bare minimum ways, so using dirk and he him, which whatever. its gonna take a lot of adjusting for him which i respect. i think my stepmom might be kinda normal about it but im not fully sure? she dislikes me enough for her weird slight liberalism to cancel out. as for the rest of my family? i think my uncle will be greatful hes not The outcast anymore, not sure if hed be supportive or not but im leaning towards yes. my step grandparents will Not be i already know and accept this. my grandma might act like she is but i know she wont be. as for my aunt and her husband im Really Hoping theyll be supportive cus i love them a whole lot and they like helped me Stay Alive during my later teens but i honestly dont know cus my aunt has said smth about it being Against her Religion. so

as for the dogs and my baby brother i dont think i have to worry about that. i only have to worry about if theyre gonna let me near my kid family members ykwim? like if i dont get to see my cousin or baby brother cus of this then ill. probably just ghost most of my family if i am being fully honest.