#i just don't think men's fashion should be boring

[ssaalexblake]

I think we should ban patterned tweed doctor or master costumes just to see if the costuming department can actually style a man without relying on stripes (or an outfit repeat) to make the outfit visually interesting. 

I’m legitimately actually just curious at this point. 

They’ve afraid of men looking *gasp* silly like the characters aren’t the biggest clowns in the universe and will look silly no matter What they wear. 

Is the person who costumed Colin Baker still alive? I want to send them fan mail. It is terrible as an outfit. Hideous in every way. Why would Anybody???? Think??? about???? it??? I don’t want to look at it. But... Damn bold. Brave. The person who costumed this man was Not a coward. I respect that. 

Classic who had better game dressing men than all of nu!who has ever had because they never tried to make the doctor look cool. 

[kairiscorner]

volleyball player gojo does something to the brain (a very good thing)

–the team's pretty little manager.

volleyball player!satoru gojo x manager!fem!reader

the squeaking of shoes against the reflective and shiny hardwood floors filled the entire indoor court as the jujutsu high men's volleyball team was practicing for the regionals. the only two practicing right now while waiting for the others were none other than the dynamic duo of satoru gojo, the cocky yet strongest wing spiker the team has to offer—and suguru geto, the most talented server they have on the team, the only one who can match satoru's insatiable dynamic in and out of the court. the two were being themselves as usual, trying to outplay each other in an aggressively friendly fashion while making idle chitchat or gossiping to each other about the ongoings of their lives.

the conversation eventually came around the topic of the prettiest girl in all of jujutsu high, which satoru snorted at as he spiked suguru's serve back at his court a little too hard. "like any girls here actually interest me." satoru said with a gagging expression and his tongue stuck out, as if to express his disgust and disappointment at such a boring question. suguru chuckled as he got the ball back and bounced it before serving, smirking at satoru with a knowing smirk. "really now, satoru? i suppose it wouldn't be too out of character for you to play along with a group of girls praising you," suguru pointed out as he took a few steps back and readied his serving stance, aiming the ball at satoru's court while satoru readied himself to save the ball in case it'd land in his court. "though... it would be a bit out of character for you to be a total liar, wouldn't it?" his dear friend asked him rhetorically as suguru threw the ball upwards and sprinted forward a little to serve it back at satoru's court.

satoru was quick on his feet and ran to save the ball, but his reflexes were a bit slow that moment, and the ball entered his court even further. he sighed and rubbed at his head angrily with a pouty face. "don't act like you can read all that into me now, suguru." he told him as he went off to get the ball, his face crinkled into an annoyed glare, which his friend chuckled slightly and shook his head at. "it's not my fault you're too obvious. you clearly don't see her as just 'some girl' or a groupie in your fan club—you are interested in her—" "no way in hell." satoru muttered as he bounced the ball on his court. "there's no way i'm into that little runt." he denied with a huff. "she keeps warning me about my haircut, saying crap like it's 'against the school rules' to have hair this long; as if my spiky hair'll keep me from being the best damn spiker this school's got!" he exclaimed as he ran up and served the ball—or, tried serving the ball—but he missed hitting it and it merely fell over to his feet, angering the white haired youth even more.

suguru chuckled loudly at his friend's sloppy serve. "yeah, this is why coach yaga left that position to me. anyway..." suguru trailed off as he walked over to satoru's court, signaling for the two of them to take a break from practice. he placed a hand on satoru's shoulder and watched as his friend's eyebrows furrowed slightly and his cheeks seemed a bit pinkish—and something told suguru it wasn't because of the humidity in the room or the exercising and practices they did. suguru smiled at him and pat his shoulder. "you gotta be honest, you do think she's the prettiest little manager, don't you, satoru?" he teased his friend as he chucked the ball at suguru and groaned. "if you wanna keep putting words in my mouth, maybe you should just marry her if you like sucking up to her that much." "what if i will when we're older? who's to say?" suguru suggested with a coy tone, making satoru stop in his tracks from putting the ball back into the ball rack. "...like i care." "that's basically you saying you do." "look, she's... she's smart, smarter than i am sometime, that much i'll admit. she's cute, when she's not being a little prissy pants—and she's... she's got a smile some decent guy with good morals has to protect, or else, i'm gonna..."

"gonna what, gojo?" asked a familiar voice, making gojo's aquamarine eyes go wide. he slowly turned around and saw the little runt of a cute manager with a smile worth protecting right behind him. suguru excused himself and ran off to get some water, leaving you two alone together. satoru yelled after him and tried running up to get some water with him as an excuse, but you pulled him by the sleeve and kept him there. "do go on..." you told him in an interested, yet sort of shy, tone; you knew satoru could be a suck-up, cocky asshole, but you were intrigued about this secret side of him. satoru groaned and leaned his face forward to meet yours and furrowed his eyebrows up at you. "or else i'm gonna do this if you won't let me go, runt." he said as he cupped your face with his larger hand and squeezed the life out of your cheeks, smirking to himself at how you resembled an adorable little pufferfish, making him laugh aloud and smile. of course, he liked you—a lot; but he'd never admit it. only from a distance will he let himself call you 'the team's prettiest little manager' and tease the hell out of you.

[dresshistorynerd]

Ranking Men's Costumes in Renaissance Period Dramas - Part I: The Bad

Part II: The Good

I have a bone to pick with Renaissance costuming of male characters. Films and TV never seem to understand French hoods or the concept of tied up hair but the crimes committed with female characters costuming seem to pale in comparison with those committed with male characters costuming. It would be easy to find some atrocities that should be brought in front of the Hague from the bottom of the barrel shows like Da Vinci's Demons and Reign, both of which costuming is basically black leather jackets, pants and boots. If we're lucky, they have some vaguely Renaissance details imitating doublet or jerkin. But these shows make absolutely no effort, even the women's costumes are straight from modern fast fashion shelves (often literally). But I have noticed that even costuming that has some effort otherwise put behind it, still costumes male characters with the most boring costumes and minimal effort. The Tudors didn't have good costumes, but there's some effort towards historical immersion, even if quite lackluster, but the men's costumes are still so sloppy.

My theory is that they think men's Renaissance fashion was too goofy and embarrassing to fit their cool and sexy main male characters. Also men dressing up and taking care of their appearance? That's obviously homosexual behavior, and these hot men who the main female characters are fawning over are Manly and Heterosexual. So they don't dress up in fancy clothing or colour!

To give a fair change to the costuming, I will be selecting only shows and movies which have good costuming for the female characters. If they are not even trying, it feels kinda pointless to point that out. I have selected 10 period dramas. I haven't seen all of them so I'm not going to analyse the costuming any deeper than how good and well made they look and how well they evoke the historical setting. I don't demand historical accuracy, but I will be more harsh on that front if the women's costumes are succeeding in that. But one of the point of period dramas is to immerse into a historical setting, so if the costumes can't evoke that feeling, I think they have failed. Obviously this is not some objective ranking, but my opinions. This is in two parts (because of Tumblr image limits), so I'll start with the five worst costumes in order of best to worst.

5. Ever After (1998)

Ever After is supposedly set in Renaissance France, but the costuming resembles late 15th century and early 16th century Italy much more. It's not very historical, and clearly not really trying to be, going for more of a fantastical style. It works, I think because they make it cohesive and very pretty.

Men's costumes resemble also resemble Italian styles. The Lombardian style sleeves, short doublets and tight pants land it right there. The men's costumes are much more boring than the fun and fantastical women's costumes, but they got the least worse spot in this worst costumes list for several reasons. The pants are actually tight and they have codpieces. The sleeves are actually really great I love them. And there's no leather pants or doublets.

And look at this, at least one doublet is closed with lacing!! (I apologize for the very low image quality, it was the only picture I found of that costume.)

The biggest gripe I have with the costumes are the boots. Just let these male characters show of their calves. At least not everything is black but the lack of colour is still disappointing too.

4. Becoming Elizabeth (2022)

The female characters have quite excellent costuming. The fabrics are rich and gorgeous, the bodices are extremely smooth and crisp, some of the best I've seen, partlets are on point and correctly used. My only complained is the occasional open hair and yet another case of the weird upward pointing crown-like French hoods.

French hood didn't have any crown shaped thing, it was a hood and the headpiece is actually several headpieces made to reveal the lining of the hood in a crescent shape. So it is very much flat against the head. (I've written about French hood's construction before.) And sure they look more early Tudor fashion, the sleeves should be much more dramatic and the bodice elongated. Like here's a portrait of the actual young Elizabeth. But I think the detailing, great construction and good looking materials make the costuming beautiful and feeling enough like Tudor era.

So how does the men's costuming hold up? Pretty okay, which is why this show is so high up in the list. I haven't seen any leather pants on anyone. Leather jerkins were an actual thing, they just weren't black, and though the leather jerkin in the show was dark brown and not smooth hide, it was not black so that's something. Edward VI does have actual stockings and Renaissance shoes, which is great, but he is a kid and I didn't see any grown man rocking that style which is very cowardly behavior imo. There's some colourful silk jerkins in there too. And they even could get away with all black since that was very fashionable at the time. They are all wearing slashed trunk hose. AND! They have actual accurate codpieces sticking up! That is so rare especially in this period when the codpiece was not just a flat piece of fabric.

Unfortunately this is where the good things I have to say end. All of these court people are for some reason wearing riding boots inside and everywhere all the time. The hose are way too long and the jerkins are way too short. The hose should be just peaking under the hem of the jerkin. Obviously none except the kid uses thigh high stockings. One of the worst things though imo is the lack of structuring in the men's costumes. The women's costumes are so well structured, but the men's costumes are just wet rags hanging on them? The doublets were heavily structured to create a pigeon chest and hourglass effect.

In conclusion, there's clearly some effort made, some very nice historical details, but the overall look is very costumy and sloppy because of the lack of structuring and lacks the historical silhouette.

3. Mad Love (2001)

The movie is set around 1500 Neatherlands (and Spain). I think many of the costumes are gorgeous (like the examples below), though overall the costuming is quite inconsistent. Most of it fits at least okay to the time period and setting, though the red dress here is more along Italian styles, but not entirely off either for early 1500s Low Countries. Some costumes though are 50 years from future. Of the women's costumes alone, this would probably be the worst costuming on this list, though I think better than most Renaissance costuming, which is why it still ended up on this list.

The men's costumes resemble more early 16th century German fashion than Low Countries fashion, which was more similar to French fashion than German. In the red ensemble there's some weird jerkin looking overgarment, but jerkins were not a thing yet and they were never in this style. I will excuse the lack of codpiece since in Low Countries' fashion it was hidden under longer overgarments, even though in this more German style it would have been left in view. The hose are no where near fitted enough, and the boots should not be here at all. Overall this is kind of a mess, but it is better than the last two. We have skirt, we have weird sleeves, open neckline and most importantly, we have colour. Also while this shoulder-length curly hair wasn't in fashion outside Italy at the time, I still appreciate the sluttiness of it.

2. The Borgias (2011-2013)

Now we are getting to the territory, where the lack of effort is starting to be very obvious. Like the costumes till now were not particularly good, but clearly they at least attempted, even if not very hard. So, The Borgias. The show is set in the early 1500s Italy. The women's costumes are gorgeous. Not always the most historically accurate, but at least close enough and very pretty.

The men's costumes however... a deep sigh. Some of them are not that bad, like this first one has kinda Lombardian sleeves and a too small doublet showing off the lacing (in Italy the lacing was almost always ladder-lacing though regardless of gender, but it's something I guess). Most of it though, especially of the leading men, who are supposed to be cool and hot, is absolutely garbage. The same black leather jackets and pants seen in the bottom of the barrel shows. Like the costumes of the female characters and some of the male characters feel like they are from two completely different shows. Like sure they have codpieces, but their pants are so loosely fitted they wouldn't even need the codpieces. (I explain the use of codpieces in this post). And of course they have boots. Of course. In Italy it was even common to not wear shoes at all, they just sewed leather soles at the bottom of the hose. And even the men's costume that have tiniest bit of effort, are so dark and lacking in colour, when the most fashionable young men at the time wore these wildly multicoloured hose and doublets. The feeling I get the showrunners were so god damn afraid of giving the cool male characters any elements or details that could in anyway seen as feminine today, they stripped all the historical elements away. Like they couldn't even give Cesare lacing, they had to make it Manly Buckles?? It's such an insecure performance of masculinity. I admit the last image here is the worst offending example and there were some with a bit of color even, but in other ways most of it is exactly this bad. I will have to hand one thing to them though. They did manage to get the slutty shoulder-length hair right.

If this man is supposed to be sexy, prove it to me by showing his ass with lovingly fitted hose.

1. Rosaline (2022)

This is roughly set in the same time in Italy too as The Borgias, based on women's costumes, I'd say at the very end of 15th century. And those women's costumes are honestly great. They even have hand-sewn eyelets, ladder-lacing and cartridge pleats. Even some of the most high effort costumes don't get these details right. Honestly I only have issue with the hair, the hair goes from okay or outright terrible. They even made this super historically accurate Renaissance apron for a maid.

This got the lowest ranking so you know what comes next. The men's costuming is absolutely unacceptable. I feel like it would be excessive to even describe all the ways these costumes fail since to me they are so obviously bad. The difference between these women's dresses with such gorgeously crafted details and these men's costumes that give absolutely nothing is so stark and gives such a massive dissonance. They are just wearing modern skinny-ish pants, all the colors are so muted and dark, there's no shape, no structure, no codpieces, just sloppy bland jackets and pants. Even less effort than men's costumes in The Borgias have. Except one thing they have over The Borgias, they were able to ladder-lace that doublet. Otherwise these are just bland, boring and actively ugly. And it's so weird that they took this "gritty gruff "realistic"" route, when it's a comedy about Romeo and Juliet? You afford to be a little goofy with a comedy and yet you did this.

Extreme disappointment, do better.

Part II: The Good

[lolitakirstein]

Hey Neighbor Pt 9

Part 8

WC: ~1.5k

AN: I'm so worried about writing longer chapters in case they are too boring. but I hate splitting things up when I'm on a roll. ha

You watched as the man you had run into exited Toji’s house 30 minutes later. Unable to hear what the two were discussing you relied on their body language to give you some hint as to who he was. The men seemed formal towards each other yet relaxed; Toji with his hands in his pocket or across his chest, the other guy casually lighting a cigarette while showing his back to toji. There must be some level of trust between them, then. Before the man leaves, you notice him gesture towards your house. You draw back further from the window, afraid of being seen.

Once the car is out of sight and Toji returns to his house, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Should you ask Toji who he was or was that being too nosy? Not like i’ll get a straight answer, he refuses to tell me anything, you think, settling on being nonchalant about it.

Fortunately, you had work to keep you focused. And most fortunately, your hangover was minimal. Nothing more than a slight throb thanks to the pain meds Toji had offered you. You become robotic as you scan, sort, and shelve books and answer the same boring questions from customers. 

Before you can notice, it’s your lunch break. You sit in the small cafe that the bookstore offers, downing a hot chai latte and checking your phone. One message from the work group chat and one from Toji that was sent a few hours ago

Toji: You ok?

You fight back the urge to send, “I can’t tell you right now, it’s not the right time,” instead, pocketing your phone and playing hard to get. You clock back into work, ready to start the second half of your shift. 

 Wait, am I wanting him to chase me or something? This guy who knows things but won't tell me? Why am I trying to act like this is a dude i’ve swiped on Tindr? This guy has secrets, deep ones. Ones I probably don’t wanna know—

“Excuse me,” a soft voice snaps you out of your internal monologue. You spin around and are met with a man. His dark auburn hair is close-cropped at the sides while the top fashionably brushes just above his deep brown eyes. A soft shadow of stubble peppers his strong jaw. 

“Oh, hello. Can I help you?” you quickly revert to the robotic motions of a customer service provider.

“Yeah, I was looking for your classical section.”

“Are you looking for anything in particular,” you ask after leading him to the designated section of the store. 

“What would you recommend?” 

A question every worker hates. “Well, can never go wrong with Doestrevsky.” 

“Ah, yes, I read Crime and Punishment in school. Incredible prose,” he responds. 

Your heart lifts at finally being able to discuss books with someone. “Indeed, if you like that, you might like The Idiot. Same themes of human nature and society.” You grab a copy off the shelf and hand it to me. 

“Well I’d be an idiot if I didn’t take the advice of such a beautiful, well-read woman,” he says coyly as you walk to the counter.  You internally groan but also can’t help but blush at the compliment, though the joke was indeed awful.

“Let me know how you like it?” you say after ringing him up and bagging his purchase. 

“How about we discuss it over dinner sometime,” he cocks an auburn brown.

“Oh,” you stammer, thrown off by the sudden offer. It’d been so long since you’d been on a date you forgot what it was like to be asked out. “Sure!”

“Great I’ll keep you posted on my progress,” the man who you now know as Connor pockets his phone after you exchange numbers. “I look forward to discussing it with you and hearing your beautiful thoughts.”

Ok, he was laying it on a little thick but you don't mind. The only interaction you had had with a man for the past few months had been with Toji. And those interactions were hardly civil, much less flirty. Though Toji tended to tease, it was mostly to throw you off the topic of his secrets. 

The rest of your shift goes by quickly and you arrive home before the sun goes down. As you get out of your car, you notice Toji sitting on his porch steps. You try to ignore him but ignoring him is like trying to ignore a bear about to devour you. You give a wave, walking fast to your house. 

“You ok?” Toji asks, still sitting on the steps. Damn, he either can’t take a hint or is just stubborn. 

“Yeah, thanks,” you respond fumbling your keys out of your pocket. You drop them. Cursing yourself for being so easily intimidated by him you stoop to pick them up. Toji’s feet appear in your line of vision. You look up at the giant man standing over you. You want to feel afraid, but you can’t deny the absolute feral part of your brain at the sight of him standing over you. 

“Why didn’t you text me back?” the possessive tone didn’t help dampen the submissive part of your psyche. Damn, why do I have to be such a whore for crazy men?

“I was working,” you squeak out, picking your keys up and walking to your front steps. 

“I wanna talk,” Toji says behind you as you march up the steps and unlock your door. 

“It’s fine Toji. Nothing to talk about,” you turn around, Toji is standing at the bottom of your porch steps. 

“There is,” Toji huffs a breath. “A lot, actually.”

You were not in the mood for this. Your day ended on a good note and you intend for it to stay that way. “Look, whatever it is. I don’t care.”

“Yes you do,” Toji takes one step up. 

You shake your head, even though you were screaming yes in your head. You will not let him win. “Nah, I’m good. I really couldn't care less what your little secrets are. I don’t even know you.”

“It’s not that, it’s just—”

The notification on your phone interrupts the moment. You reach into your pocket for it and notice a text from Connor. 

Connor: I hope you had a good rest of your day. I must say, you made mine :) 

Oh, the cringe was off the charts with this guy. But you can’t keep the stupid smile from appearing on your face. Followed by a giggle. Shit I’m giggling over a guy. I need laid 

“Who’s that?” Toji asks sharply.

“No one,” you shake your head.

“No one huh,” Toji takes another step up, finally standing in front of you. “‘No one’ got you smiling like a goof?”

“You have your secrets, I have mine,” you shrug.  

“You don't blush like that for just no one,” Toji teases, he steps so close you can feel the heat off of him. “Now who could possibly be making sweet little y/n blush so much besides me?”

You crane your neck up to look at him, refusing to show he’s affecting you. “I can’t tell you. It’s not the right time.”

Finally, you manage to knock him off his game by throwing his words back at him. He steps back, putting some distance between you. A scowl wrinkles his brow and his jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth. You smirk, pleased with yourself. “Good night toji.”

Toji

Toji stares at the door you slammed in his face, stricken dumb by the sass you dished out. He had expected this to be a moment of confession, finally getting it all out in the open. Now standing at your closed door, Toji has no choice but to retreat back home.

After dinner and tucking Megumi into bed, Toji collapses onto his king-size bed. He turns his head to the window, towards your house. The lamp on your bedside table creates a soft glow from your window. He watches as you enter the bedroom. Your eyes on your phone, smiling. 

Toji clenches his jaw. Here he was ready to start having an honest conversation with you, and you were too busy with this mysterious ‘no one.’ He hated being this way, but he couldn’t deny that he felt a sense of protectiveness over you. 

He watches you throw your phone on the bed, the giddy smile still on your lips—perfect lips, soft delicate lips he’s thought about kissing on multiple occasions. With your back to the window, you remove your shirt and toss it to the chair before you begin sliding your pants down. As much as Toji would love nothing more than to watch, he has enough decency to look away, he’s not THAT much of a pervert. 

He reaches into his back pocket, depositing the contents beside him. 

First is his cellphone which he text Shiu–I need to borrow a few of your tech geeks.

The second, is a sealed envelope. No address, no street names or numbers. Just 3 words written in delicate script:

il mio agnellino

[bookmaker-untaken]

i have options -

play me like a violin - stephen

nonsense - sabrina carpenter

talk - hozier

whoever calls to u strongest

used all three songs cause i couldn’t help myself

Bodyguard! Nanami Kento x CEO! Reader

Summary: But hey, it's not Nanami Kento's fault he's got so much cake. 

Warnings: Attempted Thirstiness, Likely OOC, Cringe, Drinking, Cursing

Word Count: 1,277

i. Think I only want one number in my phone I might change your contact to "don't leave me alone”

These old cronies disgust you. 

It takes everything in you not to throw up at every word they say, and you still gag a little in the back of your throat.

Every policy these higher ups throw your way is so blatantly self-serving, so clearly made to line their pockets, it's almost comical. 

But it's not funny, it's business. 

You curse your Mom for deciding it would be a good idea to retire early and travel the world while you get to stay here and pick up the damn mess. 

Ugh, this meeting should have been an email.

You’re so bored. 

And when you are bored, your eyes wander to the same spot - your bodyguard, standing with his hands behind his back and his arms on full display looking all scrum-diddly-umptious.

You wish you could grab his ass, but you, unlike the dusty old men your acquainted with, you have some decorum.

Even if it is hanging by a thread.

But hey, it's not Nanami Kento's fault he's got so much cake. 

ii. I don't want no one else (don't want) Baby, I'm in too deep (too deep)

Despite your innate capacity for evil and how down bad you are, you do not make a move on Nanami Kento. 

You do, however, yap his fucking ear off. 

Your therapist says she thinks you where neglected as a child. 

You say you pay him well so you can do whatever the hell you want. 

He carries your shopping bags for you and listens as you discuss fashion and complain about campaign lobbyists in the same sentence. "And then ... Kento?" 

He's quiet for too long, alert. "We're being followed." 

"Ugh, it's probably just the paparazzi," You say with a flick of the wrist and a roll of the eyes.  

"Probably," He says. "But the precautions remain the same. Stay close."

He guides you by the small of your back and inside you are literally internally punching the air.  

"You could have said please,"

He glances down at you. Well, you can't see it because of his glasses, but you know the weight of his gaze. "Please."

Your going to melt on the spot, on god. If he's any more sexy you might just kiss him in the middle of the street. 

"It seems they got the message."

"Damn, I was really hoping to see you fight." You say, mostly just to cause problems. You pay this man, but you don't know really what he's capable of. You’ve never had to see.

"That's unfortunate," He says, pushing up his glasses. "Because I do not wish to fight." 

"That's, like, your job!"

"No," He says. "My job is to protect you."

You blush a little. "Stop flirting with me." 

"Believe me, you would know if I were flirting with you." 

iii . This fire in my head's got me on edge I'm going out tonight

You need this man, biblically.

It's embarrassing.

You're suppose to be an independent woman. And falling for your bodyguard?

That's cliche as hell.

You’re disappointed in yourself.

So what do you do? You work out, you work hard, you focus on therapy.

And when that doesn't work - you party, you spend, you drink. 

The air is moist with the sweat of grinding bodies and the smell of much cologne illuminated in electric blue for a second, then cast in halogenic pink. You can feel the beat in your chest.

"Just you and I," The guy is singing over the remixed trap beat. "Far from the places we can't get away from- "

"Kento!" You call over the pulsing music. "I wanna go home!"

"Alright." Is all he says. 

You put your hands out. "Carry me!" You trying him on purpose now. Will he do it?

He turns around, lowering his broad back toward you. 

Your happy it's a piggyback ride, because he can't see the blush forming on your cheeks.

"That was too loud," You complain. 

 Nanami is silent. 

You move your cheek away from his warmth. "Aren't you going to ask why I went?"

"You don't pay me to be nosy." He says.

"What if I wanted to tell you?"

"Then you would," He says. "And I would listen."

"Because you were payed to, right?" 

"It does come with the job description, yes." 

"That's all I am to you, huh, a job description?" You sigh hard. You should have expected as much.

Nanami, notably, doesn't respond - but your a little too far gone and a little too in your own feelings to process that.

iv. I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love (hey ya)

One time, you saw a girl flirting with Nanami. 

You where jealous for all of two seconds. You weren't some unreasonable fanfic CEO, he could talk to people damn it!

But the feeling that quickly washed over you was just as icky. 

She was pretty, naturally so. She pushed her hair behind her ear with a bashful smile. 

You wondered if she was the kind of girl Nanami liked. 

If he was gonna hold her hand and they where going to walk off into the sunset and have normal looking poor people babies.

And you would get some older, gruffer looking bodyguard who liked to hit it from the back and never loved you. 

Nanami seemed like the kind of guy who would hit it from the front. … Not that you'd thought too deeply about that. 

You'd die.

Your therapist told you it was okay to want things.

You thought that hag should mind her own business. 

… Even if you payed her and she was one of the only other people, other than Nanami, that always told you the truth.

Anyway, after his lunch break - promptly at 12 o'clock, Nanami arrived to work with a small box.

He slid it toward you.

You raised an eyebrow. 

"You seemed ... upset after that last meeting," was all he said. He cleared his throat.

You wanted to make him wify. Posthaste.

But you knew you’d probably never get the chance.

v. I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

You are not one of god's strongest soldiers. 

You know this because of the barking you hear in the back of your head when you see Nanami's hands on full display. 

(How Victorian maiden of you.)

You watch as he unbuckles your heels, slides them off. 

"Fuck me," You breath. 

His hands and taking care of you? It's too much. 

Your therapist says that we often crave things we don't normally have. 

Nanami doesn't respond. 

This frustrates you.

"Hey!" You bark, reaching to throw a pillow at him. "Didn't you hear me?" 

"Yes."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" 

You don't give him a second. 

"Is it because I'm a bitch?"

"Why would you believe anything that comes out out the mouth of those degenerates," He says, with a bit more force than usual.

You feel it react in you like the Advil disintegrating in commercials. 

"Then why not ... " You say, more quietly, hugging the pillow to your chest. 

He sighs. "Now is not a good time." 

You click your tongue at him. "When is it? I've been trying to jump your bones for years!" 

"You're drunk."

"So you'll fuck me when I'm not? Like ... in the morning?" 

"We'll see."

"Kento?"

"Hmm."

"Will ... " Your cheeks dust with color. "Will you kiss me too?" 

"If your good for me now and go to bed, yes."

You puff out your chest, accepting the challenge. "Goodnight, Kento!"

The corner of his lips jump at this. “Goodnight, princess."

[mauesartetc]

What is your opinion on Winx Club and it's art direction?

Honestly I never watched Winx Club growing up, so my frame of reference for it isn't particularly intimate. But just looking at the characters, it's clear there's a bit of Sameface and Samebody Syndrome going on.

The art style's certainly unique for a Western kids' show, and there's a nice variety of bright colors. But man, I hate to think what kinds of messages the show's young target audience took away from these designs. If all kids see in their media are tall, impossibly skinny bodies portrayed as desirable, they'll wonder why their own bodies don't match. And creators should be especially sensitive to this when they're making shows for girls, since media bombards them with a host of beauty standards to measure up to (and it's not like I'm any kind of expert in child psychology, but I'd wager the advent of social media hasn't helped matters). So it frankly didn't surprise me to learn that this show was created by a dude.

Look, I'm not saying men can't be mindful of the effects media can have on girls, nor am I saying men and boys never deal with their own body image issues. But if you're making a show with a majority-female cast, maybe consult some women about their designs-? In the credits of the first episode there are two feminine names listed as character designers (Michele Lilli and Andrea Pulito), but they appear to be outnumbered by twice as many men. (Though apparently those names can be masculine in Italian, so it's possible Michele and Andrea are men as well. Too bad their IMDB pages don't list pronouns for them.)

And according to Winx Club's Wikipedia page, after a pilot that was unsatisfying to the creator, the team hired fashion designers to revamp the characters. At first I thought this would explain the girls' proportions (it's common practice in fashion design to draw slim, taller-than-average figures with elongated legs), but the concept art from the pilot tells a different story. Even before the fashion designers came aboard, all the girls had the same tall, skinny physique.

Not that there's anything wrong with being tall and skinny- hell, I'm a beanpole myself! But when all your characters have the exact same body type, whatever that may be, it leaves out so much human variety and just looks repetitive as a result. It's boring. And on top of that, it creates a visual impression that these characters are interchangeable with little to no individuality. The girls do have their own distinct personalities in the show (I ended up watching the entirety of Season 1 for this post), but those personalities don't come across well in still images.

It'd help if they were posed in ways that showcased their individual traits rather than just... "feminine and vaguely playful" across the board. Where's Stella's cockiness, Flora's kindness, Musa's sarcasm, Techna's logic? I'm wondering if the fashion designers sketched out these poses as well, because they seem much better suited to displaying clothes than demonstrating character.

(To make matters worse, there's a point in the show where the girls look like literal clones. This screenshot where they're all wearing the same outfit really highlights just how little body diversity they have.)

And what's bonkers about the faces looking so extremely similar is that creator Iginio Straffi based these characters on real women-? Namely Britney Spears for Bloom, Cameron Diaz for Stella, Jennifer Lopez for Flora, Pink for Techna, Lucy Liu for Musa, and Beyonce for Aisha. Here's how they all looked around the time of Winx Club's development:

And here's how I'd use the photos as a starting point to make each character's face stand out more.

They seriously couldn't have just leaned in to what made each face unique rather than painting them all with the same brush?

I get it, drawing all the characters with the same base makes it easier to keep them on model (and I imagine it keeps things cost-effective when making toys of them). But good god, you couldn't have treated them as actual characters rather than paper dolls for the fashion of the week?

From what I saw of the show, it's fine. It's passable. I fully accept that I'm not the target audience for it, but it's not bad for what it is. Could use a ton more character development, though, both in the designs and the writing. In any case, I'm glad that present-day animated shows seem to be evolving past cookie-cutter character design.

To close this out, here's something that I absolutely should not be able to get away with:

Recognizing these poses from the DVD cover is a sign of knowledge.

Realizing I switched them around is a sign of wisdom.

[laundryandtaxes]

Hi- I love your style and your fashion sense! I’m looking to buy my first suit, do you have any tips? I’m rather tall and heavy so I’ve been too nervous to try any on but I’d really love to get a suit 🥲

My only major tip is to only purchase from a retailer that allows you to buy the jacket and trousers separately. For instance, when I purchase an OTR suit I first make sure that the trouser and jacket sizes I want are both in stock (easy to do via email) and then leave my trouser size swap as a note in the order. The reason for this is that, otherwise, a 46 suit jacket, for instance, will come with 40 waist trousers- a 6 inch "drop" is standard sizing, but that works for almost no women and likely a minority of men as well.

Otherwise, I'd say any old guide to suit fit from a classic menswear perspective will do you well. The fit at the shoulders is non negotiable because it is difficult and expensive to alter shoulders, so it needs to be just right- the shoulder lean test where you lean a shoulder into a wall to ensure that the jacket doesn't land too far before your shoulder is a fairly reliable fit indicator. If your shirt sleeve is not visible with your arms at your sides naturally, then the suit sleeves are too long- whether you want to show half an inch of shirt cuff or a quarter of an inch of cuff is up to you, but some should be visible. I personally don't ever like slim cut jackets or trousers, I personally don't ever like no break trousers for suits, but that's because those things are not my style. Shoulder fit it one of the only things that is genuinely non negotiable in a jacket. When buttoning, follow the Sometimes, Always, Never rule. If a jacket has 3 buttons, you can sometimes button the top, will always button the second, and should never button the third. If a jacket has 2 buttons (as most contemporary jackets do) you skip the sometimes. I wouldn't purchase a suit that was anything other than entirely natural material- whether linen, cotton, wool, silk, blends of those, whatever- but that's also a personal choice and there's nothing inherently wrong with some stretch if you like it.

I think it is technically true that a jacket does not fit if you can't close it, but I also recognize that we all need to accept the bodies we actually have when it comes to OTR tailoring, to decide going in which parts of the fit are most important to us and make our altering and purchasing decisions with those in mind. What alterations are "standard" for a suit, then, is personal, but you should never wear a suit with absolutely no alteration because the odds that it actually fits well are very low because the suit wasn't made for you. For me, standard alterations mean adding a 1.5" cuff, getting the sleeves shortened which nearly everyone needs to do, and having the waist of the jacket let out to eliminate tugging I can otherwise get at the second button.

The more boring a suit is, the more likely you are to still have and wear it in 5 years. When choosing between a more fashionable decision and a more conservative decision, I always make the more conservative tailoring decision but again, that's a personal choice.

[cousmemes]

dialogue starters from DOCTOR WHO SEASON 8. feel free to edit for context / continues under the cut.

"I'll wager you've not seen anything like this before."

"Listen to me. You need to calm down."

"I'm not flirting, by the way."

"What have I done wrong?"

"Are you judging me?"

"Just because my pretty face has turned your head, do not assume that I am so easily distracted."

"Whatever it takes, I will keep you safe. You will be at home again."

"I'm cold. There's no point in us both being cold. Give me your coat."

"Are you cross with me?"

"You were talking about me?"

"What is happening right now to you and me is more important than your egomania."

"Nothing is more important than my egomania."

"You've redecorated. I don't like it."

"You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like?"

"I was being funny. I just do that."

"How long have you been there?"

"Are you going to look that terrified when you take me out for a drink?"

"You were smiling at nothing. I'd almost say you were in love."

"I need you."

"An anti-climax once in a while is good for my heart."

"We cannot waste this chance. It won't come again."

"Isn't the universe beautiful?"

"I think you're probably nice. Underneath it all, I think you're kind and you're definitely brave. I just wish you hadn't been a soldier."

"I don't know if you're a good man. But I think you try to be and I think that's probably the point."

"Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned storybooks."

"Do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?"

"Well then, draw your sword and prove your words."

"People are so much better at sharing information if they think the other person has already got it."

"Right, you do that again and you'll regret that."

"We can't just let them kill him!"

"She should not have told you any of that."

"Perhaps others will be heroes in our name. Perhaps we will both be stories. And may those stories never end."

"I wasn't making assumptions about you."

"You just have to squeeze through."

"How did you get in?"

"You know, you should have more than one chair. What do you do when people come round?"

"The deep and lovely dark. We'd never see the stars without it."

"I mouth off when I'm nervous and I've got a mouth on me. Seriously, it's got a mind of its own."

"Tell me the truth - because I know when people are lying to me."

"I am not going to leave you in danger!"

"Sorry, who put you in charge?"

"However this goes, whatever happens, don't let me end up like that."

"They have no power over you now. You can do exactly what you want to do now. Exactly what you've always wanted to do."

"Go and enjoy yourself. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"There's no way out of this. We're going to die here."

"Why are you being nice?"

"Every time I see you, it's like you're in a rush."

"The next few days are all about you. I promise."

"Human beings have incredibly short life spans. Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic."

"How can you think that I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?"

"He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out."

"Why wouldn't I be okay? I was fine till you blundered in."

"It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you when you know what lies they've told you."

"Please, tell me how I fix this."

"I'm bored. Let's go somewhere fun. What do you say?"

"I know men like him. I've served under them. They push you and make you stronger, till you're doing things you never thought you could."

"Is there some sort of fancy dress thing on this evening?"

"I am so sorry. I've had a wobble. It's a big wobble, but it's fine. Forget about it."

"Where are you and are you in trouble?"

"Lying is a vital survival skill. And a terrible habit."

"Do you want the good news or the bad news?"

"We're in the bad news! I'm living the bad news!"

"Why can't you just say it? Why can't you just say I did good?"

"You are enjoying this just a little bit too much."

"Don't make me say it."

"I don't want to be the last of my kind."

"I don't want to see more things. I want to see the things in front of me more clearly."

"I just want to know the truth. I don't care what it is. I just want to know it."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up. I need to talk to you."

"Oh, everything is better when you're here."

"Please speak to me. This is - this is killing me.

"I love you. And you are the last person who's ever going to hear me say that."

"By now, I'm sure you've heard the rumours, and it is with great sadness that I must confirm them to be true."

"He was alive, and then he was dead and it was nothing."

"Don't. Be very, very careful with that."

"I know what you're doing. You're trying to take control."

"I am in control. Do as you are told."

"I was curious about how far you would go."

"You betrayed me. Betrayed my trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I've ever stood for."

"Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?"

"Speak for me again, I'll detach something from you."

"This isn't possible. The dead don't come back."

"Be strong, even if it breaks your heart."

"Say something only you could say. Tell me something only you would know."

"Whatever it takes, I will be with you again, I swear."

"So you know who I am, right?"

"Look, are you going to help me? Because I can't do this alone."

"And didn't all of those beautiful speeches just disappear in the face of a tactical advantage?"

"I wasn't very good at it, but I did love you."

"There's something that I have to tell you and, er, it's not good news so just - just listen, okay?"

"Never trust a hug. It's just a way to hide your face."

"Thank you for making me feel special."

[asherloki]

Different yet special

Stephen strange x reader

Warnings :- smut! Age gap!

Merging these two requests together!

Requests:- Stephen is all for the classical music, even some pop songs, so meeting a young reader who is all about rock music is about to turn his whole life around! (And maybe drive him crazy during training sessions lol) - anon !

And

Hi! Saw you're asking requests! How about smut with Doctor Strange? 8 and 43 pretty please- anon

A/n :- the smut request was from inexperienced prompt list and I'm not doing that at the moment, rather this trope list is what I'm looking forward to write for. Hope you like it !

Y/n first met Stephen as his student. She always had a thing for older men perhaps, that's why she found him attractive. Yet she discovered his tastes are too different from her own. Especially music. Y/n is a big music freak and her favourite genre was perhaps mostly the rock genre when Stephen prefered classical. He would just be annoyed while she'd play those loud songs on speakers. Her drums would just make his ears almost go deaf. He used to be really annoyed until he started to find himself getting a little attracted to her. Her chirpy quirky nature, and her energy, everything. But he still couldn't stand those loud music. Perhaps the difference made him drawn towards her and so was in her case.

The realisation took time but Stephen acted on it quickly. He asked her out on few dates and they got to know they're exactly opposite to eachother. And that was perhaps, amazing! They likes one another way too much that y/n knew she was falling for Stephen, and Stephen was too, atleast his eyes said so. One night they stayed up till late, roaming around the garden and talking. It felt like they don't wanna go to their own rooms, and Stephen had a good idea popping up in his head. He invited y/n to join him in his room, but sex wasn't on his mind, perhaps a sweet chirpy night was. She agreed to join him.

Y/n entered Stephen's room. She walked inside with wide eyes, how different it is from her own, no vibrant LEDs, no comic book characters printed on bedsheets, no posters on the walls. Nothing like her own room.

"You think you'll be comfortable here?" Asked Stephen from behind.

"Oh" replied she, a little startled, "yes, your room is a little old fashioned in it?"

"Better than the rooms your generation has" he teased, "obviously you have those rockstar's posters in your walls don't you?" He asked being a little annoyed.

"Yes I do, oh Stephen, give them a listen, they're good". She urged.

"Mmm no thanks, my classical musics are fine, rather you should try it." He replied thoughtfully.

"Nah, they're boring." They always argue playfully over music.

Stephen thought it was time to make the first move, he took a few steps forward and cupped her face,

"Stephen?" Y/n was stunned, at this sudden approach but she liked it and let him place his lips on hers. y/n kissed him back softly. After the sweet nice tender kiss, Stephen couldn't help but say, "I thought you'd be more aggressive like those aggressive songs of yours."

"Oh well, no I... It's um.." y/n couldn't tell him the reason though, and the reason is she's a virgin and has barely kissed two or three men before.

"Oh I see" Stephen said observing her.

"You see what?" She replied.

"Not much experience?" He said.

Y/n looked down and shook her head. Stephen held her chin between his two fingers and raised her face to him.

"Am I allowed to be your first?" He asked smiling.

Y/n knew what was coming and it didn't seem bad at all. It seemed hot for some reason, her cheeks turned red as she nodded. With her consent Stephen kissed her again, this time more passionately. And scooped her in his arms. And put her on his bed, climbing on top of her. His lips again touched hers and then he started to mark her neck. Little gasps escaped her lips. And his hands wasted no time to unbutton her shirt and throw it somewhere in the room. He unclasped her bra revealing her breasts, at this moment he lifted up his face staring at her tits and that sight made her let out a small whimper. He wasted no time placing his lips around her nipples, sucking and licking softly. Pleasure made her arch her back, not knowing more to come. After paying attention to both her tits he got up and unbuttoned her jeans, throwing it down to join her shirt and bra.

"Mm fucking wet, I can see through your tiny thong." He whispered making his voice sound even more sexy. He literally ripped that fabric away and got down between her legs. Kissing her thighs and sniffing her arousal.

That was enough for her to moan and she did. As soon as his tongue touched her clit. She grasped the pillow and her other hand pinched her own nipples. Stephen ate her out like a starving man. He took her hand and gestured her to tug at him. She did tug his hair and grind herself on face.

"Ah Stephen.." she moaned his name out loudly. And that encouraged him even more. The older, hotter , sexier man eating her out, ah! Paradise.

"Yes baby girl" he finally said against her pussy and that vibration sent shivers down her spine.

"Look at this little pussy, begging to be fucked." He whispered as he got up undressing himself, now y/n could see him bare, and how sexy looked unbuttoning his belt and taking off his trousers. And then finally she saw his member all ready to make her feel good.

"Ready baby girl ?" Stephen asked.

Y/n nodded and then played her trick while she whispered, "yes daddy."

How exciting was that to Stephen. He climbed on the bed and positioned himself, and uttered, "You want it from daddy?"

"Yes daddy, make me yours."

And then he slide himself in her tight pussy. She almost screamed in pain, "it might hurt a little baby, but don't worry, daddy will take care of you." And he started to rock his hips. and it took a little time but ultimately the pain turned into pleasure. "I've been wondering how it feels like." She said to Stephen.

"Is it anything you've imagined?"

"Everything and more Steph... I mean daddy."

And that smirk on Stephen's face was priceless.

"May I go a little faster?"

"You may".

And he fastened his pace. The thrusts became stronger and then after sometime the thrusts made the bed shake rapidly. The room filled with alot of unholy sounds, moans, whimpers.

"Are you sure this is your first time baby girl?" Stephen asked.

"Yes why?"

"You are taking me very well."

"Yes daddy, you're making me feel so good."

"Aww baby, look at you, you're talking like a slut".

"Oh fuck... daddy right there daddy".

And he fucked her until he felt she was close and with a loud moan she had her release, Stephen pulled out and released on her stomach, painting it white. He rolled over and layed down beside y/n.

They both panted and finally Stephen said, "you good?"

"Yes I am Stephen." Said y/n.

"The old fashioned bedroom isn't that bad no?" He teased her, making her giggle.

"No, it's good, but you still should listen to my type of songs Stephen."

"Ah fine, I will." Then he kissed her cheek and went to get a towel so she cleans herself.

"Actually, Stephen?" Asked y/n as he pulled the sheet over both of them.

"Yes?"

"Your songs might be not that bad either." Now at this point they knew no matter how different they are from eachother, nothing can create a barrier between them, as they have started to embrace the opposites.

[moonchild-in-blue]

17, Chatham Street,

Wednesday.

My dearest Mina,—

"I must say you tax me very unfairly with being a bad correspondent. I wrote to you twice since we parted, and your last letter was only your second. Besides, I have nothing to tell you. There is really nothing to interest you. Town is very pleasant just now, and we go a good deal to picture-galleries and for walks and rides in the park. As to the tall, curly-haired man, I suppose it was the one who was with me at the last Pop. Some one has evidently been telling tales. That was Mr. Holmwood. He often comes to see us, and he and mamma get on very well together; they have so many things to talk about in common. We met some time ago a man that would just do for you, if you were not already engaged to Jonathan. He is an excellent parti, being handsome, well off, and of good birth. He is a doctor and really clever. Just fancy! He is only nine-and-twenty, and he has an immense lunatic asylum all under his own care. Mr. Holmwood introduced him to me, and he called here to see us, and often comes now. I think he is one of the most resolute men I ever saw, and yet the most calm. He seems absolutely imperturbable. I can fancy what a wonderful power he must have over his patients. He has a curious habit of looking one straight in the face, as if trying to read one's thoughts. He tries this on very much with me, but I flatter myself he has got a tough nut to crack. I know that from my glass. Do you ever try to read your own face? I do, and I can tell you it is not a bad study, and gives you more trouble than you can well fancy if you have never tried it. He says that I afford him a curious psychological study, and I humbly think I do. I do not, as you know, take sufficient interest in dress to be able to describe the new fashions. Dress is a bore. That is slang again, but never mind; Arthur says that every day. There, it is all out. Mina, we have told all our secrets to each other since we were children; we have slept together and eaten together, and laughed and cried together; and now, though I have spoken, I would like to speak more. Oh, Mina, couldn't you guess? I love him. I am blushing as I write, for although I think he loves me, he has not told me so in words. But oh, Mina, I love him; I love him; I love him! There, that does me good. I wish I were with you, dear, sitting by the fire undressing, as we used to sit; and I would try to tell you what I feel. I do not know how I am writing this even to you. I am afraid to stop, or I should tear up the letter, and I don't want to stop, for I do so want to tell you all. Let me hear from you at once, and tell me all that you think about it. Mina, I must stop. Good-night. Bless me in your prayers; and, Mina, pray for my happiness.

LUCY.

P.S.—I need not tell you this is a secret. Good-night again.

💋

Would you believe that I screenshoted this earlier today when I read it to send you:

... and then forgot?

You're here! Officially!! This was literally you telling me about yours and Mr Kate's love story 💌💋

(how cute is that Mina and Lucy are gossiping about hot boys and crushes 🥺💖 Lucy sounds so chirpy and happy 🥹 this is you to me 💙🧡)

[beangods]

🔥 fashion

we should all just be naked when the weather is appropriate idgaf

but seriously uhhhhhh. i dont even think "modern fashion looks kinda fucked up and fast fashion is literally evil" are unpopular opinions, nor is "contemporary menswear is really fucking boring in terms of general silhouette and the colors/patterns/cuts of men's fashion are extremely limited compared to women's fashion, and this kinda sucks for multiple, potentially contradictory reasons" (women's fashion should be based more on comfort, practicality, & actual body shape/men's fashion should have more variety in forms at play). most of the things which attract my ire are ultimately passing fads and will not exist in 6 months, or exist purely online in tiktokkers' bedrooms and are not meant to be worn out of the house at all. i certainly wish things came in a wider range of "odd" sizes, or that tailoring was more accessible, and i EXTREMELY hate that all pants are made for people over 5'7 regardless of waist size, but again, these are normal opinions and gripes.

ok here's one: all of the italian designer fashion i have seen is ugly as fuck and so is chanel. if it's supposed to be wearable art then it looks too much like clothes and if it's supposed to be clothes it looks too much like art. i don't have the eye to properly appreciate this stuff quite yet, i'll admit that, but if it looks ugly as fuck and you can't explain what it's supposed to mean/what statement it makes in this particular ugliness then you should not wear it out of the house. don't wear [x designer piece] just because it's expensive.

[sweetbillwriting]

This Is Bad, Billy

Part 3 - Life Is Too Short

Description: 1961. Joanie is a dreamer. She dreams of Hollywood, fashion and handsome men. Her favorite is the actor Billy Skarsgård. When she works as a volunteer at the hospital she meets him in an unexpected way and comes closer to him than she thought was possible.

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård, here called Billy. He's inspired by real life Bill but also the character Clark Olofsson in the Netflix series Clark.

Setting: This story is set in the 60s L.A and a smaller town close to L.A.

Warnings: 18+, historical preferences, mental health problems, mental illness, abuse, smut, sexism, mentions about racism.

Billy moved around my room and looked at my stuff. He had thrown his leather jacket on my bed but kept his leather shoes on and succeeded in imprinting a brown footstep on my light green rug. He stopped in front of my ceiling high shelf full of extravagant porcelain dolls. I had always been proud of my collection but now I felt childish when a man like Billy looked at them.

"Is it like a collection?" He asked, pointing to them with a finger while he turned around and looked at me.

"It is. Many of them are handmade, my father bought them from his trips to different countries."

Billy made a face I couldn't read and then laughed a little.

"Aren't they quite scary? Like, watching you while you're sleeping?" He said with a creepy voice, walking slowly towards me with a hunched back and wiggling fingers. I giggled at him and moved side to side in embarrassment.

"They aren't alive, stupid," I said but cringed a little when I heard my own words. Of course he knew that. Billy smirked and continued to look around. It felt like I had killed a moment but pretended to be unbothered and sat down on my bed. He looked at my photos that stood on my vanity table. There were some from birthday parties and graduations and the picture of me with my father at my high school graduation had caught his interest. He looked at the photo and then at me.

"Is this your dad?"

I just nodded and silently wondered why he asked. Billy made a face again that I couldn't read and put the photo frame down, then he smiled charmingly at me.

"I don't know, it's something about you… It feels like you have potential," he said and sat down on the bed next to me.

"What do you mean by that?" I smiled and played with a curl that had fallen down from my updo. Billy shrugged his shoulders and looked at my face, examining.

"You can do better than this. You're much more interesting than this," he said, spinning his finger in the air.

"You're not that boring girl. Not that kind of girl that lets men run the show."

It was odd hearing a man say such a thing. I've just heard it from women my own age, girls that wanted more from life than being a housewife. I smiled at Billy and looked him in the eyes.

"My daddy thinks I should be a doctor like him. But… I'm not so good at such things."

"And why should you do what he wants? Okay, he has higher thoughts about you than being a man's servant but he wants you to be in his world, follow his rules."

I nodded and dragged my fingers over the back of Billy's hand which laid on his thigh. He took my hand in his and searched my eyes again.

"You should be in L.A. I can help you, you know."

I looked at him with big eyes of fascination but also of doubt. He was a psychiatric patient.

"I will be out of the ward soon. Trust me. I have the hearing in like a week."

"The hearing? For what?" I asked confused and looked at him with furrowing brows.

"Just a bullshit thing that they locked me up for."

I nodded a little bit but after a minute I took courage to ask what it was. Billy laughed embarrassed as he dragged his hand over his face.

"You will judge me."

"No. I promise."

"It's with a girl," he said and looked at me examining. He probably believed that I couldn't handle hearing that he had been with other girls. I nodded and looked at him curiously even if I was afraid of what he would say.

"I went down on a girl at a restaurant." He looked away and rubbed his eye in discomfort.

"Went down like..?" I asked and swallowed hard. Did he mean what I thought?

"I licked her pussy."

"Oh… But.. Is that enough to get locked in at a psychiatric ward?" I was embarrassed to hear his confession but was also confused because it sounded like an awful thing but not enough to be a lunatic.

"I have a history… I've been there before."

"For what?" I don't know what gave me the confidence to ask but it all sounded strange.

"Depression. Schizophrenia. Autism. Nymphomania. Anger issues. Manic episodes. Psychosis. Delusions. Psychopathy."

He smiled at me but didn't look happy, more like he was challenging me.

"But… You're all normal?"

Billy laughed and looked at our hands that still were wrapped around each other.

"Am I? I don't know. I've heard there is something wrong with me since my teens."

"Why?"

He pulled the corner of his mouth down and shrugged.

"Because I don't fit in. Because they can't control me. Because life is too fucking short."

I didn't know what to say. I had never believed Billy was one of the disturbed people but I had never thought about what had actually made him get admitted. I wanted to believe doctors, I wanted to believe they knew more than us others but watching Billy I couldn't deny something was wrong.

I dragged my other hand up over his arm and Billy looked at it then up to my face and leaned closer.

"Life is too short," he whispered and kissed me. I continued to hear his words in my head as we kissed and let them guide me. Guide me up in his lap, pushing him back in the bed and continue to kiss him. Billy dragged his hands down my back and squeezed my bare cheeks. His hands were big and warm and made me moan into his mouth. Life was too short. I dragged off my slip so I was just dressed in my white underwear.

Billy leaned back to be able to look at my nakedness and smiled at me.

"Beautiful girl… I think you know what I want to do to you…"

I smiled but swallowed hard. My parents were at the end of the hallway. They both had taught me to be a good girl, to save myself for marriage but I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted Billy to be as close as possible and live without my father's rules.

It went fast, so fast I didn't really realize what was happening but it didn't scare me, I wanted to be in that bubble Billy created. I touched the naked skin he exposed to me, dragged my hands down his muscular back and felt with my fingertips his smooth skin and the hairs around his nipples and the trail from his belly button. He was a beautiful man, tall, slender but with all the masculine tributes a girl could ask for. I wasn't embarrassed, not even unsure what to do, something else took over and I pulled my panties down so his hands could explore me even more.

Billy smiled a little and spread my legs so he could see between my legs. I was just as wet as on our first date and it made Billy bite his lip. He dragged his hand up my thigh and then made small patterns with his fingertips between my legs and over my folds. I breathed heavily and looked at him teasing me with a boyish smile. After a while he dragged his fingers up and he found a spot that made my whole body tingle and made my leg jerk.

"Oh!" I said but it wasn't unpleasant. Far from it. The feeling took over and I let him continue.

"That's it… just let it happen…" whispered Billy and at the same time he started to do fast, harder circles over the spot. The sensation became stronger and stronger and I felt it take over my body and soul. When I moaned loudly Bill put a hand on my mouth and smirked lovingly towards me.

"Don't let your parents hear us…"

I would have probably giggled if it was in another situation but I was occupied with coming down from my high. Billy pulled down his white briefs and when I opened my eyes he stood on his knees in front of me with his hard member pointing at me.

"I hope I don't scare you…" said he softly but dragged his hand erotically over his hard on. I didn't know where to look. I wanted to look at it, watch him touch himself but it felt so exposing even if he chose to take his briefs off.

"We can stop if you want to?" He said and dragged his hands over my thighs that were on each side of him.

"No… No. I want to." I said because I really did. Yes, I was nervous but I would be later too. I wanted it now so I took the chance. Billy took hold of his dick and slowly pushed into me. It hurt a bit but it was also a new kind of pleasure and with two fingers in my mouth he started to thrust in and out of me.

×××

"Was that it?" I asked him dumbfounded and looked up at the ceiling with the sheet around me.

"I'm sorry… I came too fast…" he said embarrassed and dragged his hand over his face while lying on his stomach next to me. He laid naked and I looked at his bum, his cheeks were round and smooth and he had deep dimples on his back. I smiled at the view even if I was a bit disappointed that our love making had ended so quickly.

"You don't feel… Sticky?" He suddenly said after a few minutes of silence. I knew what he meant. His semen dripped out of me slowly but I didn't know what to do about it. Maybe he would take offense if I ran to the toilet to clean myself up.

"A little," I just said and looked up at the ceiling.

"You know, you can go freshen up. I guess you might want that?" He didn't say it meanly but he sounded like it was obvious and I felt stupid and so I left my room and ran to the bathroom without answering him. The bathroom was between my room and my parents' room but at that moment I didn't even think about how they could come out and see me naked with cum on the inside of my thighs. I just thought about peeing because as soon as I stood up I realized how badly I needed it.

Billy sat on the edge of the bed fully dressed when I came back to my room. He smiled at me when he saw me naked and licked his lips.

"I wish I could stay… But I must go back before they notice I've disappeared."

I looked at him disappointedly and pulled on my slip that was laying on the floor. I really had wanted to just snuggle a bit but didn't say that to him. He looked at me where I stood with my head bent playing with my fingers and with a small smile he dragged me down in his lap.

"Thank you… For tonight. I promise the next time… Will be better." He said it jokingly but I could see the embarrassment in his face. "And maybe we can snuggle a bit then too? I will try to come earlier tomorrow. Okay?"

I giggled and hugged him around his neck. It was insane that I had Billy Skarsgård coming to my bedroom like this. It felt like something I could just dream about but here he was and we had just made love. Had sex. I was really a woman now and I just wanted Billy as my man.

"So tomorrow?” He asked sweetly and played with the edge of my slip.

"Tomorrow," I said and leaned closer to him so he could kiss my lips.

×××

He had come to me, night after night. We made love, cuddled and talked about my future. Billy had made a plan for me. After his hearing he would call his old agent that also worked with models and then they would arrange it so that all three of us could meet in my little town. Billy was sure the man could help find me a contract at an agency then he himself could help me get an apartment in L.A. I was overwhelmed over how much Billy wanted to help me and my dreams about luxury and a Hollywood handsome boyfriend felt scarily close.

We kissed deeply in bed while I fantasized about our future in L.A. Without my parents close I would become a bleached blonde. As blonde as I could become and buy sexy lingerie and wear lipstick that shifted to orange. I would be a model.

"Hi, I'm Joan Woods, model."

I tried it in my head and it sounded so good.

"I'm a model and this is my actor boyfriend Billy Skarsgård." Or even better; husband. I would get everything in life I've ever wanted.

Billy crawled down between my legs and kissed my folds like they were my lips. I looked down at him and giggled softly. He had never given me oral sex before but I didn't even get nervous. It was just so natural. He looked up at me with a hooded gaze and licked between my folds and I spread my legs more to see what he was doing. Billy smirked at me and then worked his tongue faster all the way up to that spot that made me see stars. He worked his way between that spot to my opening and licked up and down with a fast tongue. I had just started to get really worked up when he moved away and harshly thrusted into me. I moaned loudly both in pain and pleasure.

"I want you on all four," he said after just a few strokes and as the good girl I was I did as told and he thrusted into me from behind just as hard. He worked his hips hard and skilled and I couldn't stop myself from moaning louder and louder. We were so deep in our own bubble that we hadn’t noticed the door opening. I continued to moan loudly while Billy breathed loudly watching his member move in and out of me roughly. For every stroke his member became more and more shiny with our juices.

"Rupert!!" Screamed my mother at my father which caused me to look up at the door where she stood with her fluffy robe. She looked horrified and so did I when I realized what she was seeing. Just then Billy came and his cum dripped out from my pussy and down on the bed cover.

"Joan! Joan!!" Screamed my mother with a cry in her voice.

"Mom?" I said with a small voice. I felt eleven again but with a big penis inside of me and his cum dripping. Billy continued to breathe heavily but started to dress quickly when my mother once again screamed after my father. I should have stood up and put on clothes but the shock made me stay in the same position.

"Dress before your dad comes! You… Silly girl! I didn't raise you like this!" Screamed my mother who threw my robe at me. She looked at Bill zipping up his pants with a judging, angry look.

"Rupert!" She screamed even more upset and it finally seemed to wake my father up. He looked in through my door in his striped pajamas and saw me sitting on the bed in my robe while Billy, in a panic, put on his shoes by the window, ready to jump down the window again. His light green button down hung open over his white t-shirt while he had already thrown out his jacket from the window. My dad stood quietly looking at the scene, obviously he could put two and two together and his eyes darken when he looked at Billy.

"You…!" Hissed my father towards him while Billy had one leg out the window.

"Good evening Dr. Woods, time for me to go," said he cockily and gave him a salute. My father ran up to him believing he could catch Billy before he jumped out. It was impossible and I couldn't see how my dad would be able to do something more than that towards Billy. Billy was much more muscular and could probably hold my dad down with one hand.

Billy jumped out from the window, just giving me a final smirk. My dad screamed after him, ugly words I never heard him use before then he turned to me with an equally dark look.

"And you, young lady… I will lock you in here until you have stopped being such a stupid… disgusting… Whore," he hissed and put a finger against my chest like he had wanted to shoot me if he could. I swallowed my tears and looked at my mother who stood with her head bent. Even she reacted to the word he used. Whore. Whore.

×××

Everything changed after that. My parents didn't want to talk to me, not even look at me and it felt like I was just a ghost in their home. But I had changed too. Of course I could understand it must have been traumatic for my parents to see what was happening between me and an unknown man but I never believed they would shut me out in the way they did. I would have believed they would be angry at me, scream and threaten to take away money and other conveniences but instead they had talked over my head for a week and didn't seem to care if I got home from work okay or not.

I had continued to work at the psychiatric ward but I didn't see Billy anywhere. I believed for several days that he had run away and left me behind until I actually asked Nurse Larsen. At first she didn't want to answer but then sighed and told me anyway. Billy was moved to isolation because of a manic episode. Something didn't feel right with me with that explanation because I didn't see Billy have any mental illnesses at all. I also hadn't learned what the isolation was for and after almost a week of not seeing him I took courage to ask a male caretaker I'd seen Billy with. We stood at the staff's yard and he smoked a cigarette with heavy eyes. He looked around to see so no one was listening.

"He isn't in isolation," he said and looked down at the ground. It actually looked like he cared and I wondered silently if he was the one helping Billy out at night.

"They gave him electric shock treatment so his brain is just mush right now…"

I looked at the man with horror and he looked up at me with kind dark brown eyes.

"He will be okay, after a while. Just lose some memories and… rebelliousness."

"Has he gotten it before?" I asked carefully. I knew I didn't have the right to that information but it seemed like the man felt a need to talk about it too.

"I think in Sweden. When he was young. They are worse than here than it sounds. I think he ran away from this institution and in some way succeeded to take a ferry here. And then he became Billy to all of the world."

I nodded with wonder. It was a sad story but also full of hope. Maybe his story was why he was so eager to help me come to L.A.

"I want to see him," I said determined but the man just laughed a little.

"He will be locked in for a long time. And he wouldn't want you to see him like that. With empty eyes and drool on his shirt."

I swallowed hard and felt my heart beat with worry for him.

"When can I see him, you think?"

The man looked out over the yard and then at me. He took a deep drag.

"They canceled his hearing indefinitely. Because of his "episode". They’ll do everything to make him seem like the worst maniac. Don't ask me why. Maybe jealousy? White old men, you know. My people know all too much about them," he smirked bitterly but then continued.

"I'm not sure we will see him again. They will probably move him into a locked institution. Maybe he will even be isolated for the rest of his life…" he said defeated and sighed. I stood for a long time and watched him before I started to sob. The man looked at me a second but then took a deep drag again.

"He is a good man, just too colorful for this world. Like many of the patients here," he said with a low voice before stubbing out his cigarette with the toe of his scuffed shoe and left me alone on the yard.

×××

It smelled of roast chicken when I got home. Lucky for me I still received food even if my parents seemed to want to forget about my existence. It smelled heavenly. I looked into the kitchen where my mother stood making a fruit salad for dessert.

"It smells great, mom," I tried and took off my coat and went into her. She didn't answer, just continued to chop a banana.

"Mom?" I said to see if she reacted at all but it didn't seem like it. It was like I didn't even exist.

"Mom, please talk to me, please! I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry! But I love Billy! And we're going to move to L.A. and…" I said it with a high upset voice that must have upset and stressed my mom because instead of slicing the banana she cut her finger and made a pained, shocking sound before moving to the sink to hold it under running water.

"Mom!" I said again like I hadn't even seen her injury.

"Yes?!" She screamed angrily at me and turned around. I had rarely seen my mother mad so her sudden outburst scared me a bit.

"Please talk to me," I said with a small voice. She looked at me with an angry expression at first but it soon got defeated. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling to hold her tears in.

"Can't you understand? You can be pregnant and then your life will be destroyed. He is mentally ill! Insane! He can't help you with a child. Joanie, what if you're pregnant?"

She looked at me with glassy eyes while blood from her finger dotted the kitchen floor. I stood in silence and felt a lump in my stomach grow. Or was it a child? I didn't know. My mom was actually right this time, I couldn't have a baby.

"When did you have your… period?" She whispered like she was afraid my father would hear even if he wasn't home.

"...oh, now?"

My mom gave me a confused look but then relaxed and even laughed a little.

"Well then you can't be pregnant?"

She said and shook her head towards me. First it didn't connect for me, I had never really needed to think about such things then I remember the biology lessons. I smiled a bit relieved and looked at my mother again who laughed a little again and I joined her. She took a deep breath and looked at me seriously.

"I'm really disappointed in you, Joan. I understand… He is handsome. So tall! But… You must think about your future. He can talk the talk but he is mentally ill."

I looked down and saw her finger bleeding and took a napkin to help her at the same time I thought about what she said. Billy wasn't mentally ill. Or was he? I actually didn't know and his promises sounded so good but now he was locked up somewhere.

We stood close together by the sink while I held pressure on her finger.

"When your father gets home…" she said worriedly and looked at me. I nodded sadly. I knew what she wanted to say. When my father got home she had to ignore me again. I looked at her questionably. I really hoped what Billy had said was true because I really didn't want to become like my mother.

×

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

TW: Grief and loss. Transphobia.

"Come on, Lyall. It is not a big of a deal. She is just a teen. She is just experimenting...."

"I know that, Hope. The issue is that she shouldn't be borrowing my clothes. She should be bothering yours... She is wearing my cologne for God's sake..."

"It is just a phase probably..."

"Understand it! It is not normal!"

"You cannot make our daughter be the way you want her to be... She is just... She is just different"

Different... Weird... Abnormal... Rosie was used to these words. Surely her parents said that all the time. And probably they were right. Rosie was a bit weird.

Everything about the way she looked felt wrong. Every time she thought about what she was supposed to be: a grown up woman, delicate, supposed to use dresses and makeup, Rosie felt nauseas. It felt good to wear men's clothes and use her father's cologne. Rosie felt more like herself. Perhaps she was meant to be somebody else. She was meant to be a boy. Rosie felt like she was always meant to be a boy but she was trapped in a girl's body.

Was that even possible? All Rosie wanted was to be a boy. And she should probably use a name other than Rosie.

"I know what you are going to say..." Rosie told her mother when she went to talk to her that night "I heard everything. Dad thinks I am a weirdo. Don't worry... Everyone thinks that"

Rosie's mum shook her head.

"That's not true, love. I adore you just the way you are"

Rosie hated herself though.

"Do you think it is weird that I use dad's clothes?"

Hope smiled "I used to wear weirder things when I was younger. I remember I used to make necklaces and earrings with empty wrappers" she giggled. Hope was cool. She was a hippy that used to go to protests and hang out with musicians until she met Lyall. A shy nerd accountant  that only wore sweaters and boring ties.

It was different. Rosie didn't care about her clothes. She wished she could change her body. Be born again. This was a nightmare. How could someone change their skin?

"Dad thinks so. He thinks that I am a freak, doesn't he?"

"That's not true. Your father is older and old fashioned. But he adores you, Rosie"

Rosie sometimes wondered how could someone so cool could have fallen in love with someone like Lyall. They were so different.

"He keeps buying me dresses and girly stuff and I hate them!" She hated herself "I keep telling him that I would never be feminine and stuff"

Rather die than be a woman one day.

"Tell you what. We can go shopping and we can buy whatever you like" Hope touched her daughter's cheek.

A male's body?

"Even if I want men's clothes?"

Hope raised an eyebrow. But then she smiled.

"Rosie, I don't care how you dress and if you like men's clothes... As long as you are happy. I don't care about anything else... I love you, no matter what"

Rosie hoped that was true. What if she told her mother the truth? Would she accept it? Would she help Rosie become a man?

But Rosie wasn't ready to tell her now. She didn't even know what to say.

Rosie smiled "Cheers mum, and I would like you to call me Ro or R simply..."

"Why? Rosie, Rosalind is such a beautiful name"

Rosie hated it.

"Please mum... I don't like to be called Rosie"

She... No... HE would find a better name. Something more masculine. Something more like... Like himself.

"Alright, love. Whatever you want"

So he hugged his mum.

Remus was thinking about one of the first moments he came out to his mum. Hope had been very supportive. Even if she didn't understand. Even if Remus didn't understand it yet. Hope had always been amazing. Best mum in the world and Remus' best friend.

And now she was gone. And Remus would never see her again.

"Moons?... There you are"

Remus immediately melt and broke between the arms of the boy he loved. He needed Sirius so much right now.

"Don't leave me alone, please" Remus cried on Sirius' shoulder.

"Of course not. Never..." Sirius swallowed "I love you"

Remus held him tighter in response.

"Remus..." A voice said behind him. Remus broke apart from his boyfriend's embrace to check if he wasn't hallucinating. It was the first time Lyall called Remus by his real name without hesitating or with a shaking voice.

And his father looked so broken. It was just the two of them now.

"I'll let you speak alone" Sirius said politely.

Lyall still had a grudge toward him, thinking he was like the rest of his family. But he simply nodded now.

"Thank you..."

As soon as they were alone, Lyall approached carefully and slowly. Remus didn't move. His eyes were stuck on the floor.

Lyall was still here and Hope wasn't. She was gone. She couldn't be gone. But she was.

But when Lyall's hand was about to touch Remus' shoulder he pulled away.

"She wasn't supposed to leave me so soon! Not now! I need her... I really need her..."

"I know..."

Lyall had never understood Remus. It took him a lot of effort to accept Remus' true self. While Hope accepted and supported Remus from the start. She was always there for him. Lyall wasn't. Lyall had always been trying to fix him.

"It isn't fair..." Remus said out loud "This isn't fair"

"It hurts me as well..." Lyall's voice broke "But I want you to know that I am here too. For whatever you need... Remus..." and he hesitated again. So Remus started crying.

"YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME... NOT LIKE HER! YOU DON'T LOVE ME, THE REAL ME!"

Lyall shook his head. Tears were running down his cheeks as well.

"That's not true..."

"SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO GO!! WHY HER? WHY HER?? AND NOT YOU!"

Lyall wasn't surprised by Remus' words. Nor offended.

"I love you, son" Lyall finally broke "I love you so much. You and your mother were everything to me"

Remus was in shock for a second. Because Lyall had called him "son" for the first time. Because he had said all these things in front of his girlfriend Sandra, who was just a few meters away. Hope had been the love of his life. Even if they had been divorced for two years. Even if they fought all the time.

"Come here..."

Lyall pulled Remus into a hug and Remus gave in easily. Lyall was the only one who understood him now. Not Sirius. Not his friends. Only his father. So Remus gave into the hug and broke down crying like he used to do when he was a little kid and he had nightmares. Once when his father was his favorite person in the world. His hero. And Remus deep down craved that again. So Remus and his father cried into each other's arms. And maybe it was about time they fixed their relationship again. Father and son. In Hope's honor.

[trillscienceofficer]

do you have a favourite species design/lore headcanon, something you wish you could see on screen/had been explored more? (worflesbian asking from main 💖)

another very interesting question! I admit I don't have quite the same penchant for worldbuilding that I admire in so many other Trekkies; I'm always thinking 'well I wouldn't want this species to be a monoculture, canon basically never question that assumption and it's boring', but then my pea-sized brain completely seizes up at the prospect of having to come up with an entire world history in order to explain why Trill fashion on DS9 seems to favor square necklines and long tunics heavily, especially for men. But again I digress! (And also, apologies, this got long.)

Of course my first answer is always going to be that I wanted anything about Trill and the joining to be less hand-waved as space magic on an episode by episode basis and more planned out, but even more than that I just would've loved to learn more about Trill as a planet (we don't even know for sure that it is in the Federation at all on TNG/DS9, though it's likely at least Federation-aligned). And I especially would've loved to hear both Jadzia's and Ezri's opinions about anything concerning the Trill homeworld and/or the Symbiosis Commission because I actually think their perspectives would've been pretty unique (and uniquely informed) on the subject.

As I mentioned in the previous ask, Jadzia's reticence in speaking about her family or Trill in general speak volumes to me, and imho indicates that she has a lot mixed feelings about the planet she's from. This also fits well with my idea that, no matter how 'revered' the symbionts are, joined Trills don't really have that much power on Trill and they kind of live at the margins of Trill society, comfortably but still under So Many rules designed to keep them apart from everyone else and especially other joined Trills. I think Jadzia may have realized that that was the case pretty early on, and perhaps found it difficult to articulate that realization to her family or any other Trill that doesn't share her perspective (you can see this a little in the way she and Lenara interact on “Rejoined”, too). And this is not even considering the way the Symbiosis Commission was ready to let her die in order to cover up past mistakes. I really would have loved to see Jadzia being somewhat forced to admit just how horrible that was and how little faith she must have left in the institution that should have cared about her joined existence first.

I think Ezri also would have interesting things to say, as someone who was an 'outsider' to Trill tradition even before becoming Ezri Dax. That plus her penchant for cutting precisely at the heart of the matter (again, that scene with Worf about the Klingon Empire!) I think she would have insightful things to say about Symbiosis Commission politics in general, not having the same stake in maintaining a facade of respect that someone like Jadzia, even as irreverent as she was, still might have had. I'm really very sorry that DS9 didn't bring this side of Ezri more to the fore wrt Trill.

As a last note, given discussions I've been having recently (plus your fic made me think about this even more!), I really wish Voyager had made it clearer that long-term Borg assimilation can't be so easily reversed, and that Seven's implants are prosthetics and treated them as such, rather than little more than aesthetic hints. Of course making them look like actual prosthetics rather than decoration would've been a start, and many artists and writers have done so luckily! But even more than that I would've loved if they'd been more consistently depicted as something that Seven uses because the process of Borg assimilation made her physically disabled. You could argue she already is in canon (the way she has to spend hours in an alcove to 'regenerate' means she is dependent on a machine in order to live), but of course Voyager falls into the trap of making her implants a superpower, which... eh. Of course her implants give Seven a lot of trouble too (her cortical node stopped working and almost killed her, not to mention the time that an interference from a Borg vinculum gave her the Borg equivalent of psychosis) but I really would have loved to see her less as a metaphor for and more as actual disability representation. Imho xB characters in general really skirt the line between metaphor and actual disability, and I wish that had been explored better and with more nuance, especially where Seven is concerned.

[redysetdare]

I still think about how I was told by another trans person to my face after I made a comment at how much it sucked being misgendered that it was because of how I dress. I couldn't expect people to gender me correctly when i dressed femininely. I needed to dress differently.

Ignoring the fact that how I dress shouldn't stop me from being upset over misgendering, there are multitude of reasons I can't look more masc. one being that I'm too small to fit into men's clothing. a lot of men's clothing is way too big on me. When i wanted to buy a masc dress shirt I had to but it from the boys section. Ppl don't realize that men's and Women's fashion is different. Men's fashion goes from boys to men's because they are expected to his a huge growth spurt that rockets them into men's sizes immediately. there is no in between size for men. Women's sizes go Girl > Junior (teens) > Women's. I can still fit into some of the juniors clothing in the women's section. The men's pants i have took FOREVER to find because there just are not sizes that take into account people of my size. My body is not seen as a men's body and so clothing is not made for it in the man's section. usually I find myself in the unisex fashion section to find anything slightly more masc. second reason is that I'm just not on T. I haven't been able to get on it since I came out. There are medical reasons as to why I haven't started yet. I do not look masc enough for people. Eve if i did dress more masculine people would still misgender me because to them i look like a cis girl.

that's not eve to mention that masculine clothes are so boring and uncomfortable so I dress in a way that makes me comfortable which just happens to mean I dress in a pink jacket and a colorful hat (which literally is the only 'feminine' clothing i have. that was what was being pointed at as the reason for my misgendering.)

Another thing I was told was my hair being long was an issue and i should cut it which... is an entire bag of worms because my hair has been a huge point of dysphoria and insecurity for me so for someone to say it's 'too long' and use it as a reason I'm being misgendered is just....

like listen, I know i don't pass. I know that's why people misgender me. I'm used to it. But as a trans person I have a right to be upset by the fact I'm being misgendered - no matter if I pass or not. I can still be upset that I am not being seen as a boy and people do not use he/him pronouns for me even though I have my pronouns shown by my name tag.

People misgendering isn't my fault. it's not because I'm not trying. it's not something that I should be shamed for being upset about. I should not have to change myself and make myself more uncomfortable just for no cis person to care because they just see me as a tom boy anyways.

[kmze]

Thoughts on 8x01-8x08 this is honestly the most I’ve just straight up enjoyed the show. I like the darker mythology of this season with the sirens, hell and Cade. It felt different but fresh and I thought it was easy to follow for the most part. The macguffins feel like a S1 homage. Scenes got to breathe again, Steroline had so many great domestic scenes and this is their peak relationship wise. If I cared about Bonenzo I’d say that’s good too. My only real gripe is Bonnie's storyline which feels like we took a step back after the progress of the last two seasons because why is she not fighting more to get her powers back? Plus Bamon is just non-existent this half but overall one of my favorite half seasons, it ranks just below S2 and S6 for me and you can read about why below!

8x01

This feels soooo much like a season one episode. I don't think the others do as much as this one though.

Why AGAIN did Bonnie lose her magic! Plot contrivance level 1000.

Everything Steroline in this episode is what was missing in S7! The teasing, the sexy time and hair stroking (I especially love where Stefan grips her hair after they kiss because he’s not ready to let go yet and kisses her forehead) but especially the phone call going over the plan! Feels like them in S4/5 which is FANTASTIC because it shows the friendship never died when the relationship started.

Mommy!Caroline is so great! I love the fairytale she told the girls and I love the scene where she finds them and is like "hi babies" THE CUTEST!

Okay so Virginia said whatever was in the vault wanted the twins and Damon says the voice in his head said it didn’t want Stefan yet. So yeah it seems the twins and Stefan were always a target at least.

I know KW co-wrote this ep but I just do not see how Elena is interpreted as Stefan’s hope. I know he goes out of turn but nothing he wrote was hopeful lol, plus he used Caroline’s words from earlier. Then there’s the fact that he looks miserable until Caroline asks if he wants her to move in with him.

Enzo leaving Bonnie clues about the siren was a great plot for them.

8x02

They should have just let Nat Kelley use her Aussie accent because she talks SO MUCH and I hear the struggle of her trying to hide her real accent. It would have made no difference!

How unbelievably boring is Damon's mind that he just keeps reliving this roadside scene over and over again. I don't even understand what the big deal is about this scene, wow so Damon met Elena first, who gives a shit?

Bonnie being a hater! I guess the sensation of watching Stefan and Caroline from the outside affects even those not in love with one of them.

Georgie was so good! Even if she has terrible taste in men she should have lived or at least lasted longer!

While I understand your frustrations Bonnie you got three years with Enzo and Caroline was stuck with fucking Alaric! The Baroline scene was sweet though, the Bonenzo scene is good too but the dialogue is so corny.

Really really REALLY unnecessary that we needed to bring Sarah Salvatore back just to murder her. Again killing off the WOC...

Okay see even more proof Caroline is Stefan’s hope because she says “you can’t give up hope” and he says I won’t and then FRIGGIN' PROPOSES TO HER! I mean do most people realize that’s not when he meant to propose? Like he bought the ring probably when she said agreed to live with him and he was going to propose with the room when he was finished. But in usual Stefan fashion every-time he plans to wait for the perfect moment with Caroline he fails because he loves her so much he doesn’t care about the pageantry he just wants her.

WHAT A MOMENT! I love both proposals for them but this one I just love how it’s so them! Stefan shows her the room because his love language with Caroline is acts of service. He’s showing her the meaning behind his words saying she’s his family, he’s tearing down a room in his home the only constant he’s had in his immortal life because he knows she will always be a part of it. And he thinks he’s so clever with the drawer ‘hey check it out, it’s antique’ but Caroline is Caroline and she wants the speech and he teases her about that like are you sure and he does the cheesy speech knowing she’s gonna laugh. But THEN she kisses him and he’s so consumed by how much he loves her and wants her and just gets SO INCREDIBLY SEXY grabbing her face and whispering against her lips between kisses that he wants her to marry him! I STILL GUSH OVER IT!

8x03

THE JUNE WEDDING! It’s still so hilarious that throwaway line in the pilot ended up coming true. Caroline is the greatest manifestater of all time!

GET HIS ASS CAROLINE! She really enjoyed stabbing him with that pole!

Man the one thing I’m jealous that Valerie got and not Caroline was Damon-less Stefan. She deserved Damon-less Stefan more than anyone!

The way Stefan smacks Damon like “why are you such a little bitch” because Enzo is fighting the mind control and Damon isn’t cracks me up!

She’s got a point Stefan! But like LOL Bonnie Stefan doesn’t even like Enzo as if he’d pick him over Damon regardless. The almost forehead touch and the way Caroline grabs Stefan and pulls him towards her, Paul and Candice did such a great job of showing the sweetness between Steroline this season. They're partners and it doesn't feel right when they aren't on the same side.

UGH FUCK THIS! I cannot believe this is how Tyler dies after everything!

8x04

The troll job with the “I love yous” all on the phone! Although they did that to Forwood too I noticed in my rewatch.

The dialogue has been very on point the last few episodes, I especially like how Stefan’s been written. This is probably my favorite Stefan because he’s being active in helping to save Damon but he’s not letting it overtake his life. I honestly don’t get why people think Paul was “mailing it in” this season, I think it’s because they all believe in the good brother mythos he performed in the earlier seasons. That guy doesn’t exist anymore!

Stefan's having way too much fun torturing Sybil with that tuning fork lol.

Two sirens and one being the friggin’ nanny was a great twist! And the flashback scenes parallel Defan’s scenes so well.

I like that they switched up from the torture dungeons to the secret lab rooms for interrogations. Feels fresh.

Georgie looking at Sybil through the glass has Elena and Katherine looking at each other vibes.

So funny how we’re all pretending anyone’s gonna care that Damon killed Tyler just to you know piss me off even more about it!

Stefan so scared for Caroline’s twins!

Matt finding Tyler’s body is heartbreaking. Damn that scene really hurt.

Seline is way better at the creepy whistle, Seline is the better siren in general I wish they’d killed Sybil earlier and just had Seline.

8x05

Seline’s evil look before closing the door lol. I love when actors ham it up in the best way possible.

Really like how Caroline subtlety told Stefan to STFU about Damon and mourn Tyler because she needed comfort and he instantly got that. Married.

Damon’s like “what’s so surprising about me being awful” and I AGREE!

That Baroline phone call was so sweet. I love how Caroline talked about what made her turn her humanity on about her Mom.

Bonnie pulling a Damon! Sometimes you have to go to extremes for the people you love!

WE ALMOST HAD IT! Stefan put Damon down at Caroline’s urging and it was such a good parallel to him saying "I'm lost" in 6x05 to "I'm sorry" now.

I’m sorry but I just don’t get anything from Bonnie and Enzo even with the powerful narrative the show tries to give them I *snore* I tried.

I like when the show parallels back to Stefan doing something weird, because like Stefan is very weird! He brought everyone back to the carnival for a memorial like he did in 4x02 with everyone saying a few words and then group activity time!

Tyler deserved so much better than this memorial and he really deserved for his death to mean more than it did. Matt was the only one who really seemed to care that he was dead, though I do give Caroline credit for Damon killing Tyler being the thing that made her give up on Damon. Then she pushed Stefan to do the same and he didn't really hesitate. I do LOL at Stefan not being able to say a nice thing about Tyler even in death, disliked his ass until the very end.

THIS SCENE IS SO PRETTY! It’s their prettiest scene and I am in love with the completely in awe lovestruck look Stefan is giving to Caroline while she talks to him. I know I say it all the time but I love Steroline because of scenes like this, their conversations feel deeper because they have so many moments they callback on to show their progression. And I love how Stefan just listens to her and really takes her words in, she inspires him so much.

God I’m stressed and I know what happens!

8x06

Pain. But I like how Stefan accepted it with no fight, just another day of Damon ruining his life.

Ric was ready to turn Enzo into a vegetable but Stefan couldn’t be absolved for killing him without humanity.

I cannot BELIEVE people want to give Damon credit for saving the twins when it’s made abundantly clear that he just wants to get out of hell. He just knows that in order to get Stefan to go along with the plan he needed to use the twins as leverage. Ruined his life AGAIN!

I didn’t realize how triggered this episode was gonna make me!

Ric’s talking a lot of shit for someone who does nothing to solve the problem!

I’m sorry but I think Stefan has more than enough blood on his hands for Cade Sybil. Paul Wesley just wanted to do a fight sequence it’s fine.

Stefan earned his hero hair this episode. The look between him and Caroline as she’s hugging Josie :( gets me every-time.

Candice was stellar in this episode, definitely one of her strongest episodes ever.

All he wanted was 24 hours with her. This is THE Stefan episode for me, this was his final heroic act and unfortunately he never really gets to come back from it. Paul really did such a fabulous job with this episode directing, acting, even song selection (he picked the song used in this scene) he went out with a bang.

Actually I really like the bickering sisters with the sirens and how they keep backstabbing each other, sounds familiar (that's the point)!

8x07

My heart. Stefan channelling his inner Buddy the Elf and putting up all the Christmas ornaments and the morning Steroline scene is such perfection. They deserved to have that peaceful domestic life together longer than they got. Stefan's diary entry pulls on the heartstrings too, I'm glad Caroline at least got to read that and I feel like it might give her some comfort knowing Stefan promised her his heart forever even before that moment in the finale.

You can tell right away that Caroline is ready FOR SCHEMING on her phone call with Bonnie and I am HERE FOR IT! She's so great this whole episode.

It made perfect sense that Cade would be so interested in Stefan without the retcon in the finale that it was all Katherine having him wrapped around her finger (which was RME).

CRYING! HE GOT ANOTHER ONE! Cade being like "I didn't care about your remorse but this crazy bitch did" because they always do! Crazy bitches and the Stefussy like moths to a flame. Bonnie and Enzo are nice this episode too I feel like they’re having real conversations instead of quasi-DE dialogues.

Peter's not really a bad character I just don't care. Matt has surprisingly not been annoying though I liked when Damon was like "you killed me" and he looked and him like AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!

This Christmas dinner is so stressful! Not like 'The Bear' stressful but it's up there!

I’m sorry but Stefan’s logic of “yeah I ate kids but never on Christmas” truly kills me! As if that makes it okay!?!

Cade explaining really well why I never got into SE especially in S1 because of how Stefan inserted himself into her life because he saw her as his redemption, the "good" Katherine.

"When I was the Ripper I was one of a kind, no one can do what I can do" (!!!) Ripper Stefan truly was one of the best villains, if this season had 22 episodes we could have had a longer arc of him.

CAROLINE FTW! She’s so damn smart no wonder Stefan loves her.

Mistletoe toe kiss and finally the I love yous face to face! Admit-tingly totally worth the wait this is one if their best scenes. The way he drags her down the stairs and kisses her so passionately under the mistletoe. I love that when he nods for her to look up he continues staring at her, Stefan wanted to give her some peace and romance before everything changes forever. Again Stefan wanted to be with Caroline before he essentially walked into damnation.

I love the evolution of the “off switch” with Stefan. It was so much more dramatic in S3 when he was forced by Klaus and now he just closes his eyes and lets the evil eyebrows do all the work. It’s because he’s accepted the Ripper part of him more. My favorite aspect in this scene is how he waits until he left MF to shut it off, because that’s his home aka Caroline.

8x08

“Clarity over cleverness” that’s a pretty accurate description of Damon Stefan IDK even if he never said it he’s sure followed it!

See this is the first time Stefan is actually TRYING to not fly off the handle as a ripper, he even said in 6x17 he doesn’t have an elaborate system to keep himself in check but now he’s trying one. Obviously doesn’t work but I thought it was interesting it was dripping blood from the vein since that’s what pushed Caroline over the edge in 6x17. This episode is FULL of callbacks to their humanity-off arc I love it! They’re very subtle but there’s a bunch.

Sybil hasn’t started annoying me yet but more importantly I am SO HAPPY Caroline is getting scenes solo with the “big bad” of the season because I don’t even remember the last time that happened! Maybe S4 and Silas?

Ripper Stefan picking out Dr. Elena to teach Damon a lesson is DIABOLICAL! The way he stabs Damon with a vervain needle (of course!) and yells “Omg is there a doctor here” DYING.

“Cade never said I couldn’t take a shortcut” “A win is a win”

Oh yeah this place (100 dead witches house)! Good callback

"And you lived up to your potential" HE'S SUCH A MANIAC!

Oh Violet is teen Misty on Yellowjackets!

Threatening to burn those kids alive was pretty stressful! Thank god Caroline had her assistants to do the dirty work for her.

Ripper Stefan making Damon throw the necklace out the window is like when NH!Caro made Stefan burn the letter. Biggest missed opportunity was not having Ripper Stefan ask Caroline to turn it off and join him instead of Damon because that was sitting on a plater after this episode with excellent callbacks to the no humanity arc.

Love the way Ripper Stefan going off the rails was filmed and Malarkey’s song is perfect. He looks so feral in that last shot! Great job again Ian and the writing in this episode was so good.

Lines that made me laugh:

Damon: I disagree with all your opinions (when I read the TVD Reddit)

Bonnie: How else was I going to our Caroline Forbes-Caroline Forbes (I loved this scene and Bonnie was right she had to pull out the big guns)

Stefan: Would it be going out on a limb to say that we stab her with it? (LOL Stefan was like I got a wedding to plan lets wrap this up)

Ripper Stefan: That figures (as he shakes his head in disappointment at that damn necklace again!)