#i just do not feel comfortable anywhere anymore and i dont know what to do to change it

[thats-sir-dyke-to-you]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Johnny Lawrence’s daughter

Johnny Lawrence x daughter!reader

warnings: alcohol, underage drinking, classic johnny sexism <3

a/n: WHAT! ME write a fic thats not gn, i know. im shocked too but its just bc i feel johnny is so gender-stereotypey that doing this gn wouldn’t work very well but very open to a son!r or nb!r if anyone is interested (bc seriously. johnny cannot help but bring up genders). also i just want to say that a lot of this (not all!) honestly reminds me of or are actual things that have happened w my dad bc johnny is literally my dad if my dad was like 8 years older i think also i wrote this all in one sitting ALSO NO COBRA KAI SEASON 6 SPOILERS

prompt:

GIRL DAD!

you always kinda just gravitated toward living with your dad

“y/n, i’m so proud of you. i never have to worry about you. you can take care of yourself. robby on the other hand, i worry about him. i think girls are just more self sufficient” -johnny, a little drunk

“thanks dad” -you, also a little drunk (hes a “cool dad”)

he was the type of parent that “prefers that if you’re gonna do something stupid at least do it while he’s around” aka underage drinking

whenever he stays out late you fall asleep in his bed. and lock him out

“y/n! open the door!” -johnny, banging on the door

“no! your bed is more comfortable” -you

he thought it was sweet honestly but he did want to sleep in his bed

sort of like a lesson not to come home late all drunk and gross

he was VERY against letting you drive his car

“dad, i need my license!” -you

“no woman is getting behind the wheel of my firebird” -johnny

“why do you have to make it about women? i’ll fight you” -you

“you’ll lose that fight” -johnny

“oh, so you’d fight a teenage girl? wow, real classy, dad” -you

“no, but i’d fight my teenage daughter. i brought you into this world and i’ll take you out” -johnny

you honestly had a great sense of humor with johnny, but you’d check him if he said anything too messed up

“dad, it’s not the 80’s anymore, you can’t say that” -you

“dont tell me what i can and cant say! the 80’s were awesome, i wish it was the 80’s again” -johnny

“so i’ve heard” -you

he helped you with your homework as a kid until like, 2nd grade when multiplication and division got involved

he did teach you karate growing up! but mostly the basics, for self defense purposes

“hey, never let any guy try to impress you with his karate skills. he’s probably a douche” -johnny, pausing “i sure was”

late night movie marathons (70s/80s classics for sure)

he took care of you during your first hangover (high school parties, ya know)

“didn’t i teach you better than to mix liquors” -johnny

“ugghhhh” -you

yes, you have heard about daniel larusso. enough said LMAO

robby and you had a kind of sweet but distant relationship

occasional check-in texts

robby: are you doing okay with dad? he’s actually buying food and shit?

you: yeah! he’s fine right now, how’s mom? new stepdad yet? is he rich?

robby: mom’s not going anywhere she’d find a rich guy, but keep dreaming

you wear a lot of your dad’s old t-shirts. usually band tee’s

oh and he made sure you got into the “right music”

he used to drive you around in the firebird when you were a SMALL CHILD (front seat, no car seat!) and blast his old cassettes

for YEARS he’d pull the “who is this” “what song is this” game with the reasoning:

“if you wear a band shirt and some asshole asks you to name three songs, i want you to name ten” -johnny

listen. you were still “daddy’s girl” or whatever used to be a cute little saying and is now ruined but whatever

“dad, can i have twenty bucks?” -you

“for what” -johnny

“for fun. pleaseeee” -you

*johnny pulls out his wallet and gives you $40*

could he afford it? no. can he say no? also no.

the absolute fear he felt when you got your first period

“it’s fine, i can call mom” -you

“no, it’s not fine! i’ve had girlfriends before, i got this. stay here, i’ll be back” -johnny

he went to the store and bought the most random assortment of period products and pain meds and snacks and a heating pad

A for effort

when the diaz family moved in across from you guys, miguel took one look at you and johnny said:

“stay away from my daughter”

when the karate fuss got started you tried to keep your distance but sooner or later you joined the dojo and proved to your dad just how “badass” you could be

“take notes everyone, y/n’s gonna be the next all valley champ!” -johnny

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @retvenkos // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @xoxobabydolls // @sapphireplums // @petersgroupie // @ravenhood2792 // @evilcr0ne // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @elenavampire21 // @elemental-of-magic //

[sl8yter]

Apparently - Mühl Pt2. to Get It Together

Nika realizes her mistake at the last minute and opens up only to realize she was wrong.

Nika Muhl x Fem Reader

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“Wow twin you’re an asshole” Paiges vocalizes in a brash tone

Nika had come to her friend’s dorm seeking advice on how to proceed after the fallout of her and her girlfriend’s fallout. She had found Paige, KK, and some other teammates hanging out after hours building legos and stuffing their faces with food.

“I dont know what to do. I really do love her I just dont know how to tell her. Nahiem is just a friend she doesnt understand that. She never does.” Nika nervously states as she paces around the table in the middle of the main area as her teammates brain storm solutions for her as they lounge on the couch.

“Okay well first of all stop doing that” KK speaks up

“Doing what?”

“The way you say that she doesn’t understand seems so bashing. Like girl, of course shes gonna kick you out after you talk to her like that. So don’t act surprised” KK’s lack of goofiness acts as a reality check to Nika. Her pacing ends abruptly as she stops to look up and cover her face as an attempt to stop her tears from flowing.

“I could text her to meet up and then Nika could like surprise her with flowers and stuff” Paige says zoning back into the conversation with her faulty solution

“Flowers isnt gonna fix the fact that (yn)s been feeling ignored and how she most likely thinks you’ve been cheating on her. But we can use the first part of Paiges plan. Did you atleast try and text her before you left?” Inês states promptly looking at Nika whos cheeks were wet as she sat down on the couch in between KK and Paige.

“No I came straight here.”

“Oof not good.” Aaliyah butts in

“Why. Please dont make me cry anymore” The Croatian girl says her voice breaking softly towards the end.

“Well if I was her and I already was thinking it. I would personally think that you went to Nahiems. Thats just me though. Maybe (yn) doesn’t jump to conclusions as fast so don’t sweat it.”

“Girl boo, shes already crying about it what do you mean dont sweat it.” KK frankly puts her thoughts out as she wraps an arm around Nikas shoulder, a flimsy attempt to try and comfort the crying girl who’s heart broke a little more with KKs retort.

“I can post to my story and Nika can be in the backround looking all sad.” Paige tries to help

The group looks to Nika who had a contemplating look on her face which contrasted with the pink hue around her eyes and water marks down her cheeks. Her silence deafens the room before she shakes her head up and down.

As Paige takes and post the photo to her instagram story, Nika and the rest of her teamates come up with a plan to try and get (yn) to meet up with Nika in order for them to talk it out. It only takes 20 minutes before (yn) viewed the blondes story and it only took a second for the same blonde to text (yn) to meet up with her at the park 10 minutes away saying it was an emergency.

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"Paige" I whisper yelled as I walked through out the empty park. Paige had only texted me a cryptic message telling me it was an emergency and to meet her at the park near the dorms.

"Paige come out it's to cold for this." I yelled only slightly louder before a hand had grasped my shoulder causing me to release a yelp and break my neck to look behind me. Only to find the last face I wanted to lay my eyes upon.

"Nika what the fuck are you doing? I thought you were gonna kidnap me. Where's Paige?" I asked, scolding Nika for the scare.

"I couldn't wait until tommorrow to see you. She only texted you so I could meet up with you. Listen to me I-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there before you try to say things I've heard from you a thousand times. I'm tired of us having the same conversations over and over again. It never goes anywhere Nika. Now like I said before go and get some sleep so we can both talk about this with a clear head." I state, exasperated at her mood of just now wanting to talk about things when she had so long to do so.

"Listen to me please bebo you can break up with me, yell at me, or call me every dirty word you know just please let me talk to you. You don't even have to face me. Just hear me." Her voice breaks between most words causing her accent to slip. The begging insanely out of character from the confident girl you usually knew.

"Okay. Just tell me what it is. Tell me why you've been such a dickhead to me." I tell her as I walk to a nearby swing to sit. She quietly trails behind me until I hear the clanking of the metal on the swing adjacent to mine. I refrain from looking over to her as I can feel the intensity of her gaze on my features. If I look, I know I'll cry but I have to let her know in someway that I'm going to stand my ground this time. No matter how much it hurts the both of us.

“Im so so sorry bebo. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen. When we first started dating I seen how amazing you are and how you were so happy all the time and how you always light up a room. Graduating and the draft has been driving me crazy since the start of the year. I felt so pressured to perform my best that I started doubting myself and I started to think that you were too good for me and-“ Her voice breaking as she stops for a moment to catch her breath. She stops looking at me to look at the sights in front of us, her shame showing in her body language

“That I thought I was gonna be a burden to you. Nahiem would help me. We would just go drive around and drink and do all this dumb stuff. It took the edge off and now I see how bad it was. How it lead me to start acting like you weren’t there. I use to think that my biggest fear was not achieving my dreams after I worked so hard for it, for everything. But in truth my biggest fear is achieving all my dreams and you not being there beside me. You’re so selfless that you constantly put up with me no matter how I treated you. I need to treat you better. I want to treat you better. I know I dont show it a lot but i love you more than anything, more than anyone. You believe in me bebo and I love you for it.” She finishes her voice shaky and her eyes somehow pinker than they were before.

“Of course I believe in you. Youre Nika Mühl. My girlfriend and future WNBA star. Youre so much more than you see Nika. Youre the reason I love to love.” I answer, not realizing I was crying as well until a tear drop fell from off my face.

Nika is silent as she wipes her face and quietly clears her throat before looking at me once again.

“You don’t hate me?” Her tender voice somehow making me forgive her within four words.

“I could never hate you. I love you.”

“I love you more” She says before suddenly standing from her seat and lunging at me causing us both to fall into the mulch below us. Her hands hold my waist as my arms wrap around her neck.

“Im so sorry.” Her soft voice fills my ears as the smell of her shampoo invades my brain.

“I forgive you.” Whispering back to the girl on top of me.

“Can I take you to the dorms?” She asks louder this time as she retracts to put her hands on either side of my head to hover above me.

“Only if you stay the night.”

To my response she quickly leans down to capture my lips. I can feel her slightly whimper at the contact. My hands quickly get lost in her hair as she lowers herself to lay between my legs as she continues to assault my lips slightly opening her mouth to encourage me to go farther. I can feel her heart pounding as her chest is flush against mine.

I gently push her off me as I go to sit up, suddenly remembering that it was 2 AM and we were in a public park.

“Take me home and then I’ll see if I want you to go further.” I tell Nika as shes on her knees infront of me, rubbing the sides of my thighs with her large hands.

To my statement Nika swiftly picks me up wedding style and starts jogging to my dorm building. Her antics make me laugh with mirth as I see her small smile, her eyes glancing at me as we lock eye contact for a second that I wish could have lasted forever. Her strength and her athleticism made me thank her coach as it was only helping me in forgiving her completely.

I kiss her cheek softly as she continues her jog.

“I love you so much Nika. I want you to come to me first whenever you have doubts or whenever you start thinking things like that ever again. I love you, I care for you, and I want you to be happy. You mean everything to me.”

She stops jogging for a second to put me down as she grips my waist with speed to pull me into a kiss. Far more passionate than any weve had before. My hands wrapped around her face holding her as if she were glass. Her hands explore my waist, rubbing and squeezing slightly. I caress her jaw moving one hand farther back to play with her hair at the base of her neck.

We both pull back to rest our foreheads against another, our mouths agape catching oxygen as our exhales mix. The lack of space between us was tantalizing as it was obvious both of us wanted more. The only thing stopping us,being our lung capacity and the open space.

“I dont think I can wait much longer for you” Nika admits her eyes dark with a familiar cloud of lust. The breathiness in her voice causing a feeling that Nika was all too well associated with inside my body.

“Then lets hurry up.” I say tauntingly as I knew she was gonna be the one running us both back to bed. I knew she could do it, she knew I could match her pace and run along side her, but we both knew how much hotter it would be if she did all the work and how much better it would be in bed.

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Changed my mind, tried writing a smut for this but then I was like rereading it and ts was so toxic. Oh em gee. Like on a deep level if yall like ts great for you I just cant post something like it n be okay with myself after 😭😭🙏

REQUEST SOME THINGS YALL. DONT BE SCARY!!

[lovely-keii]

being their sibling

characters: kageyama tobio, miya twins, iwaizumi hajime, hitoka yachi, ushijima wakatoshi

a/n: comeback?! 🫣

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

he thinks everything you do is normal, it skews his perspective of the real world. you’re a great painter? suddenly he’s asking his seatmate why her drawings look like that. you sing well? he tells some kid with an average voice that he can’t sing. you’re rich? suddenly he’s calling someone’s car cheap.

obedient, whether or not you’re younger than him. “get me a glass of water, tobio” “ok.” // “my feet hurt, tobio.” “put them on my lap, ill massage your feet.” honestly, really reasonable and kind

he’s so loud when he gets annoyed though. stubs his toe on the coffee table and the next day, you receive a noise complaint. swears a lot too. god forbid he loses one of his volleyball equipment. he’s going to absolutely flip the house upside down.

kageyama is so transparent with you, literally almost no boundaries. he’ll literally go into your room and is confused why you tell him to get out. “why? is there something you need to hide?” somehow knows your password always “why can’t i use your phone? you can use mine.” bro has nothing to hide, hes too comfortable around you

just dont mess with his volleyball things and you’re all good.

MIYA TWINS

you three are so loud all the goddamn time, your neighbors hate you guys. the two might baby you or look up to you, but you’re never exempted from their mischief. but at least you have your very own bodyguard and sidekicks.

you own literally nothing. things will go missing from your room, and appear in atsumu’s desk. one time, you see your hand cream in atsumu’s hand, and he’s using it to massage his foot after volleyball practice. “what are you doing?!” “i ran out of foot cream. plus, what’s the difference between feet and hand skin anyways? oh hey, it smells nice.”

you can’t store your food just anywhere too, you have to hide it in the most creative spots just to make sure osamu doesn’t get his hands on it. always makes excuses too. “this is OUR house so this is also OUR food” “sharing is caring, and i’m your brother.”

when osamu and atsumu fight, you either get dragged in or you have to start haggling to get between them. you three will fight about literally anything. mainly because you three love to intentionally annoy each other “get out of my room!” “my feet are outside so it doesn’t count.” BAM BOOSH POW!! knuckle sandwich for everyone!

and you three love to pretend to be characters in the show. powerpuff girls? osamu is bubbles, you and atsumu fight over who’s blossom. alvin and the chipmunks? osamu is theodore, atsumu is alvin, and you’re simon. god forbid spongebob comes on, because atsumu insists he’s pearl.

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

he’s a great brother, in all senses of the word. you leave something at home and he’ll bring it for you. you get into an accident and he’s the first to show up. you lose something and he’ll find it for you.

you see oikawa so often he might as well be your brother too. when you’re talking to people, the two are so irritating lol. oikawa’s teasing you and giggling about it, and iwaizumi is giving you “the talk” which he’s given you dozens of times.

he likes to scold you, but he’s only really looking out for you. he doesn’t like to encourage you when you cause trouble, but a single text from you, and he’s already grumbling and on his way to open the window for you to sneak in.

if you like any of his teammates and he finds out, you’ll get an earful. “there are so many guys in the world and you like him?! you can do better but you’re settling on so little!” and if it’s oikawa, he’s literally gagging and telling oikawa he isn’t allowed to come over anymore.

but also, he’s paying for your deliveries, opening the car door for you, and making you walk in the inner side of the sidewalk, so you win anyways.

HITOKA YACHI

she makes you talk to your mom and ask permission for her, because she’s too scared to do it herself. feels bad and gives you some cash or snacks to make it up to you if you get scolded in her place.

brings you to volleyball practice with her, and if you’re classmates or in karasuno too, she makes you sign up as manager with her too. you two are almost inseparable, mainly because yachi doesn’t want to do things with strangers, and wants to be with someone she knows.

loves to go out and hang with you. she’s not really a shopping kind of girl, but you two will literally get lost when you get to stationery. you two will frequent cute cafes too. you go under the guise of studying but get distracted by everything.

in the nights, she’ll do your hair and skin routine, and you’ll do hers. you two have a shared playlist and everything, and the both of you will just talk about everything under the sun.

surprisingly has a large appetite around you. she’ll ogle your sweets. “um…are you going to eat that? just asking…”

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

sibling or not, he’s really quiet. doesn’t like small talk or messing around since he doesn’t see the point in it. also can be super blunt with you so he hurts your feelings sometimes, but he’s always quick to apologize once he realizes you were upset by it. “you might have gotten a higher score if you didn’t waste time on your phone last night.” “toshi…” “sorry, i mean it as advice.”

has really good insight into things, so you often go to him for advice. he’s straightforward and likes to cut to the chase, so he’s rarely in between decisions. on the other hand, he can occasionally misunderstand your intentions and feelings and doesn’t understand why some things bother you.

he’ll call you to the backyard to toss to him every so often. you’ve spent a majority of your childhood passing ushijima volleyballs for him to hit and receive, and waiting for him to finish watching a game so you can watch your cartoons.

he always has tickets for you to watch his games. if he hears your cheers, he’ll give you a determined smile. he’ll find you after a game and ask you how it was and if you had fun. has you ride in the team bus to and from games and no one really pays too much mind. (except for tendou who’ll pester you)

on his way back home after a long practice, he’ll stop by your favorite restaurant and get some take out for you.

[cup1dt3a]

hi, if you dont mind me requesting, how about a wally darling x gn reader where they are the villain of the show, but like,, unintentionally. they are vv clumsy and knock into shelves at howdys, trip eddie on his mail route, ruin julies chalk games, etc. and every time they feel horrible, but run away because they are scared of confrontation. so one day they knock over all of wallys paints while hes stepped away, and when he goes to their house to give them a piece of his mind, he finds them crying and ranting to their cat about how bad they feel but how scared they are to apologize (sorry if its too long!! ive had this idea in my head all day lol)

A poor soul who is mistaken for the villain being a victim to their own clumsiness. I love it! Hope you’re having a good day or that it gets better! Also you’re fine I love it when I get descriptive requests! ⚠️⚠️warning: Angst

“ Oh no! No no no!” You gasped panicking over the now kicked over bucket of paints.

All you wanted to do was take a closer look at Wally’s newest artwork on the large canvas. But no you just had to accidentally step into one of the paint cans. As you tried to get your leg out of it you had only made things worse. Sloshing paint everywhere, knocking down more cans, tubes, and almost the canvas. But you had managed to save in it your colossal pile of mistakes. As you finally got your foot out after jerking it out the heavy can you had noticed a small smudge of red paint. Your heart beat quickened. You ruined it! You ruined all of Wally’s hard work, hours, seconds, and passion. You just ruined it!

Why are you like this? Well that’s obvious. You’re the town screw up. The pushover who always ruins everything. You sometimes avoid going anywhere for months because you’re too scared to ruin something else. For instance one time when you were just looking the ingredients you needed to bake a cake as an apology to Julie for accidentally giving her poisonous flowers. They had all of her favorite colors , but turns out hot pink can literally burn your eyes. You had knocked down two shelves after hitting your head on them. You didn’t know what to do or how to handle all the eyes on you so you ran. Just like with Julie after giving her the flowers you ran. Just like with Frank when you accidentally tore half a page in one of his books. Just like with everyone else you always ran away.

Just like right now as you ran away from an enraged Wally who had just came out of home. Frozen in shock taken back by his usual cheeky smile now gone and replaced with an annoyed look. So you rushed to your only sanctuary as always your house.

You apologized as you ran back to your own house. You panted slamming the door as you knees curled into the floor of your home. You just wanted to look at someone’s painting and yet instead of being able to admire their work you ruined it just like every thing else. All except for one soul in this name uttered your name with a scowl. Well if they could and it was your pet cat Mr.Wiggles. He was an adorable spynx cat who you one day found out all alone in the rain in a battered up box. His red eyes may have made him look scary but you find them enduring from how much love he always showed once you were in the room. On days when you let him wander around with you to most he would look like your evil sidekick ,but to you he looked like a little angle just wanting to make friends. It’s almost like you were both on the same boat of being the outcasts of the group.

You sat on the cold floors as Mr. Wiggles came to your aid at the hurried slam of your front door. Meowing attentively as if he was trying to ask what was the matter. Seeing as you were once again crying once home. Curling beside you as he tried to comfort you.

“ Thanks buddy, but I don’t think we’ll be welcome here anymore.” You sniffled trying to hold back the rest of your tears.

“ I’m fine I just…screwed up…again!” Your voice cracked as the tears poured down once again while you trembled from each sob.

This was outrageous! How and why do you always keep on doing this!? Tube after tube of his new paints were ruined. Even his brand new canvases he laid out behind his latest work. Everything ruined and covered in the new paints. Were you just trying to make everyone feel bad? Every time you came out of your lair you always ruined something. For instance with Julie you made her sick for a week with flower pox! You had tripped Eddie while he was out on his daily run to Franks house. Burnt Poppy’s cookies when she asked you to watch over them. Ripped a book of Franks favorite book sure it was Frank, but even he wouldn’t do that to that to him. You had made a huge hole in Sally’s now broken stage. You knocked down two displays in Howdy’s store and didn’t even try to help. The worst one was with your evil little cat. He had pounced onto Barnaby’s head.

And now you decided to ruin his work. That was the last straw. Chance after chance was given to you, but now it seems like you’re just testing your luck.

“ How does someone even manage to achieve all this in under 5 minutes!?” He frustrates at the ruined paints.

His cavas had a small smudge of red paint on it thankfully. Everything except his painting was mainly ruined. But just why do you do this? The first few times when you first came here everyone brushed it off as small accidents, but it was just a constant cycle of ruining things. So he had no choice, but to try and confront you. To see just why you kept doing this. And to give you a piece of his mind once and for all.

As he greeted a few of his neighbors while he stomped over to your own home he eventually came to the dark and gloomy home of yours. Already giving him chills down his spine as he was about to knock on the door. But he soon had heard sobbing and continuous meows. Concerned he looked around to see where they were coming from and noticed one of your darkly colored windows opened still. He sneaked around the corner peeking through the cracked window.

“ I know I know! It’s just that whenever I make a mistake and try to help I just can’t stand trying to talk to anyone.” You cried.

“ I just want to be friends and make up for my mistakes, but every time I try I make a new one! I even ruined Wally’s beautiful painting and got Julie sick! I’m just a horrible person aren’t I?” You ranted to Mr. Wiggles.

“ It’s just like every other neighborhood I’ve gone to! Soon enough they’ll all start hating me and want me gone again.” You cried now uncontrollably sobbing.

He then felt pity for you as you cried out to your cat now holding him close. Just as he was about to try and comfort you he soon tripped over a stray thick vine in your almost dead garden.

“ Wha..What was that!?” You gasped startled as you slowly got up hurriedly seeing who had just yelped outside your open window.

“ Hello Neighbor!” Wally popped up from the outside of your window startling you.

“ H-Hi…I swear I didn’t mean to knock over your paints! I just…I swear it was an accident!” You sniffled.

“ I know. I didn’t mean to ease drop, but I heard everything you said. But I just wanted to say sorry to you. ” He chuckled trying to lighten up the mood even as your glazed eyes still threatened to draw tears again while you used to window as a fence between the two of you.

You shyed away from his gaze as you croaked out “ Why… I’ve done nothing, but ruin everything since I got here?”

“ Well we haven’t been the best of neighbors to you. I don’t even think I’ve even tried to get to know you.” He said as you rubbed your eyes trying not to cry again.

“So how about we give this another shot?” He asked extending his hand out for you with a comforting smile.

“ I’d like that a lot… Neighbor.” You smiled getting up from the barrier you of your window taking his hand.

Maybe things will be different this time.

Thank you all so much for reading this all the way here! Hope you’re all doing well or that it gets better!

Sincerely-Cup1dT3A 💌

[konigsblog]

you wanted simon angst so im gonna share a little brainrot with you that im having with a bodyguard!simon bot on character ai

soooo simon gets hired to be your bodyguard and you're like this prissy rich girl, at first he doesn't really like you. 'im just doing my job' yadda yadda, but then he finds your little bratty behaviors to be endearing and he gets attached to you. he stays as your bodyguard for a couple more months but then one day your dad decides you dont need simon anymore. but then you plead desperately and say that you'll use your own allowance to pay for his services. simon overhears that and is really sad and now he doesnt know whether to leave and serve someone else or let you spend your allowance just because you're super lonely in your big house with no real friends other than your workaholic parents who only say 'good morning' and 'good night' to you. during his time working there for your family, you open up about how you're lonely and you just want to be loved and simon felt needed, he felt wanted and that's something he really loves. so yeah do with that what you will TT im just ARGRHHAGSAHAHAH *rips my hair out* - tiny anon

angst to fluff, to an indication of smut at the end but its not graphic like at all;

at the beginning, his expectations were that you were some snob who barely cared for others, came back drunk with hickeys layering your neck, avoiding and disrespecting your wealthy parents. until he overheard a conversation between you and your father, he wasn't eavesdropping, just intruding in an argument accidentally.

he heard you words, the anger in them, the rage. he could hear your sniffles as you begged and sobbed, pleading with your father. simon felt curious wondering what was so heartbreaking, listening in on your conversation. “dad, please!” you wailed, your voice desperate, “i hate being alone, you know i don't go out a lot, or have parties, he's comforting - please don't fire him, i need him!

simon's ears perked up, now knowing you were talking about him as he worked for your father. “for christ sake, what's the big deal? you've learnt your lesson from sneaking out and i can trust you to stay home alone without a bodyguard blocking your way, why are you complaining? you wanted this at the start, you didn't want him before, why do you need him now?” he peaked through the doorway to see your figure, head in your hands, blocking your eyes as you father bombarded you with questions you didn't want to reveal.

“i need him, you both are never here anyways, just- please, dad..” the sighs of your father left his mouth, cursing lowly before walking out, “fine, whatever, suit yourself then.” hurrying away before he was caught.

when dusk came, you were curled into your bed, waiting for simon to approach you. “what was that about, hm?” his gaze met yours, dipping down onto the bed and brushing the hair from your face - he'd grown to appreciate you, and he wouldn't admit that he loved you, even if it was the truth. “simon.. i don't want you to go.” you whispered, avoiding his eyes as you knew you'd weep into his arms.

“it's alright', love.. shh, none of that, i'm not going anywhere unless i'm forced.” simon chuckled, tilting your head upwards using his fingers, “it's weird, but i like being here, although you're bratty and snarky sometimes.” a smirk grew on his face, making you giggle as you playfully punch him. “i'm not a brat!”

he adored when you behaved. “never said you were..” quietly, he pressed a tender kiss to your lips, it was unexpected and rushed, yet long and careful. “you make me feel less lonely, simon.” you whispered as you grew exhausted, eyelids heavy as you yawned. “go to bed, yeah?”

and you did, a couple minutes later and you were knocked out cold, slight and light snores leaving your lips, parted and agape. “you make me feel needed, baby, i think i love you, but your dad would kill me if i ever touched you wrongfully,

but that won't stop me.”

[eddiediazismyhusband]

hey everyone

just getting on here to have a conversation about some things that i need to clear up.

so for starters, i’m going to come right out and say that i’m taking a break from tumblr… lately i have been subjected to seeing multiple thinly veiled posts about me floating around and i cannot sit by and allow myself to be treated like that

that being said, i am taking this break to focus on my mental health; 911 used to be a comfort show to me- somewhere i could just go to and watch whenever i needed to be picked up, because even if the show was still forcing certain storylines/arcs, they at least made some sense for the characters and didn’t rely on completely rewriting and ignoring their history within the narrative.

911 is no longer that for me anymore. tim minear and the writing team have ruined any and all enjoyment i got from earlier seasons due to continuing KR’s trend of completely retconning the narrative while simultaneously blatantly dragging us along by dangling buddie canon over our heads with a stick only to immediately snatch it away at the last second.

today’s “first look” article only further confirmed my suspicions that tim had no intentions of leading to buddie canon.

i see the takes/theories about what the article could mean, but we have made theories such as this every year only for it to not go anywhere; nothing had indicated that s8 will be any different.

for starters, tim is bringing back a known problematic actor to play a problematic character that tim continues to retcon, despite the fandom being outspoken about how insane this is. instead of listening to the fandom, instead he has them continuing to develop their chemistry-less relationship saying that they are going strong.

secondarily, tim wrote out a beloved poc character in order to keep this problematic character around- something that i think the fandom has moved on from a little too quickly

thirdly, we continue to be told that eddie will be making progress each season, yet we never actually see that progress happen, and if we do, never in a way that is actually in character; on top of that, we have fans begging for his character to be ruined simply so that his character arc will be sexualized due to it involving two conventionally attractive men.

this fandom no longer feels like a safe space for me mentally and i hate that… i am devastated at the thought of no longer interacting with my mutuals, but i cannot engage with content that showcases the real-time decline of a show i used to adore before the creators decided to ruin that enjoyment.

so i am taking a bit of my break; i dont know how long nor how permanent of a break this is, but i need to put my mental health first.

until next time (whenever that may be)

[goodlucksnez]

hi, hello, hola, bonjur, (don’t know if I spelled that right, my french origin is failing me!) so remember that poll you did that said we could vote between erasermic or huskerdust? And huskerdust won and u said to put down our ideas? Well I finally have one! Could you do one that angel and husk are cuddling and angel is petting and comforting which is causing husk to purr and husk is sick, and he’s purring and sneezing because the purring tickles his nose and gets a little annoyed at himself and angel kisses him and tells him he’s ok?

love your wavs btw (also credits to @ghostlychill for the congested purr headcanon)

thank you so much for the prompt I tried my best to make it

I present h/uskerdust cuteness

cw: purring, scratching, moaning, sneezing (duh), suggestive comments,cute nicknames

(no one gets to talk bad about my angel dust voice okay, accent are hard and i am still working on it)

❗ PLEASE NO REBLOGGING TO NON-KINK BLOGS ❗

script

*purring and cat napping husk*

Aww Whiskers. Seriously, the motorboat could wait.

*moaning and angels scratches him behind the ear*

That feel good whiskers

Shut up

Never snookums

*sniffs and rubs his nose into his chest fluff*

OH we gonna take motorboat to a whole new extreme, aren't we? You enjoying the fluff?

 If you don't shut up. I'll rip it off.

You know, I ain't afraid of a little pain.

*Sneezes into fluff*

Hey, watch the merchandise, baby? Do you know how much I'm worth?

Mm-hmm. And you're free to. *hitch*

 Ohh no, no, no no, no.

*grabs his nose*

Ugh Thanks.  I don’t know what’s *stifles in angles hand* fuck

 I think you have a cold.

No I dont

right, so you just like sneezing on my tits do you?

Do You have to say it like that.

 What? The truth? I thought you adored that.

Too tired to argue with you

 You want some scratches, kitten?

*purring and groaning*

 Oh, we haven't even gone anywhere and you're already moaning.

Shut up.

*Scratches and hitches and sneezes*

Aww bless you. Bless you. Goodness. That kitten noses of yours is mad at you.

You know it's all connected, right?

What?

Vocal cords and my nose *sneezes*

Are you telling me that you're sneezin’ because you're a cute little purr? Ohh, that's just hysterical.

It's not funny

Ohh, come on, little funny. Gotta admit that.

I don’t think it's that funny Angel

Ohh. Of course not kitten You know you wanna cuddle all this.

 You know, most people aren't really thrilled to cuddle a arachnid. There's a whole phobia against it.

The only phobia that I see is you being alone now, come here.

You do not get a complain if I sneeze on your tits

Never I’ll never, ever complain about any of your fuckin fluids on me. I mean, look at your cute little nose already bursting. *bops his nose*

 Angel, I don't want to sneeze anymore, so if you don't mind, could you refrain from messing with it.

Bless you.*kisses* You just fall asleep now Whiskers and let Daddy take care of everything.

[thedevilsoftruth]

All I Have ~ Loki x Fem!reader

Warning; MAJOR,MAJOR,MAJOR, INFINITY WAR AND THOR RAGNAROK SPOILERS PLEASE DONT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THEM!!!! Smut, Alcohol mentions, Ragnarok/ dom Loki, loss of virginity, major character death, oral ( f receiving ) Minors dni

Summary: After the fall of Asgard, you and Loki get to mourn the people you lost.

Notes; I watched Infinity war and endgame for the first time a few nights ago and I am depression, so I thought what better way to cope with that than to make a really sad smutshot!? Enjoy!!!

Loki had been your best friend for centuries, you both fought by each others side and often trained a lot together. You two were thick as thieves, and a lot of your good memories were with him. But little had you known that tonight your way of viewing one of the closest people to you would change forever.

But finally you were able to get to sit down with your friends after a long day of trying to save the people of Asgard. Althought Asgard was completely destroyed, at least you still had the people. You, Thor and Loki were sitting on a couch together in the ship and drinking booze to try to think happy after everything that happened.

“ and then he turned back and was like, “ aha it’s me! “ and then he stabbed me— do you remember that, brother? “ Thor wheezed, smacking Lokis shoulder in the process. Thor had already told this story today, but he had to admit it was great. Loki’s lips twitched a bit like he were trying to hold in the laugh. You laughed along with them, your mind a bit fuzzy from the booze. Loki hadn’t been drinking much, which was surprising since he loved it as much as Thor did.

“ how about that time you tried to push me off the roof, brother!? yeah? “ Thor wheezed again, Loki couldn’t hold it in anymore and hollered with laughter. The small room was filled with the sounds of you three laughing like all was good. Soon the laughter died out and Thor stood up.

“ I’m going to try and get a little nap in. “ he sighed. you had to admit, the man needed it. You and Loki smiled at him and nodded.

“ Have fun, you two. “ he said with a slight smile before walkig out of the room and closing the door behind himself.

Loki turned to look at you and smiled.

“ Shall we continue the party, darling? “ he asked with a wicked grin. You knew that meant he had something Mischievous in mind. Oh but you didn’t know if you could stay any longer, you were getting tired as well.You simply shook your head.

“ Oh, I’m not so sure. I should probably leave “ You raised yourself from the couch but he put his hand on top of yours, taking you off guard.

“ Stay with me. “ He pulled you back down on the couch with him and looked at you with somber eyes. His hand brushed your cheek gently, his eyes staring into yours. He leaned in with you, his lips brushing against yours ever so lightly. At first you didn’t feel anything until you begun to follow along into the kiss. You had never felt feelings for him, but maybe he felt for you. He pulled away slowly, his thumb caressing your cheekbone softly.Your face was flushed red. His eyes were watery now, his hand falling back down to his side.

“ please. “ the words came out of his mouth under his breath so lightly it was like the cold breeze on a warm summer day. You nodded your head and got comfortable in your seat again.

“ Very well. I guess I don’t really have anywhere else to go. “ You said, feeling your tears building back up again. Loki nodded, knowing what you were feeling and rubbing your hand comfortingly.

“ you know, we never really had our time to truly grieve for the ones we lost today. “ he said, still smiling despite shedding a tear himself. Your head felt heavy, tears streaming down your cheeks like a waterfall.

“ I just— I saw my whole family die before my eyes today. “ You spoke through sobs, your nose burning as you recalled the memories you wished weren’t true. Loki’s hand went to your back and pulled you into his warm embrace. He gave the top of your head a kiss and he sniffed quietly.

“ Thors all I have left. “ he said with a shaky laugh. You felt tears rushing harder. Your chest felt like it was being blocked off and you could barely breathe.

“ I don’t have anything left. “ you sobbed into his chest. You were probably getting his shirt wet from your snot and tears but you didn’t care. Loki hummed and sniffed again.

“ That’s not entirely true, love. “ he spoke, running his hand through your hair gently. You looked up at him with a raised brow.

“ You have me. I’m here for you. “ he said, looking down at you with the kindest eyes you had ever seen. something deep inside those eyes were filled with such loss and sadness, it made you want to cry even more of that was possible. It was odd because you had never seen Loki genuinely cry.

You chortled through your sobs and buried your face in his chest again. His hand ran up and down your back soothingly, making you melt further into his embrace.

“ Thank you, Loki. “you choked out, your voice muffled by his armored chest. He chuckled and pressed another kiss to your forehead.

“ it’s obvious but… “ He took his hand off yours and used it to lift your chin to force your gaze up to him. “ I love you, y/n. “ and with that his lips crashed with yours again, except this time more rough. His hands wrapped around your waist and moved your body backwards, making you lay down on your back as he hovered above you. His tongue slid into your mouth, dancing with yours like some somber tango. His hands reached underneath your long layered skirt and moved it down to your waist so he could position himself between you nicely. He pulled his mouth away from your so you both could catch your breaths.

“ I l- love you too, Loki. “ you panted, your cheeks sticky and wet from the dried tears. His lips curled back into that familiar smile.

“ watch this. “ he said lowly, the with the flash of green he was magicked out of his clothes. You chuckled, of course he was going to do that. Your eyes wondered every part of his naked form, admiring his every curve and muscle. His hand then went on your chest and his lips pecked yours once again.

“ and this. “ he spoke with a grin. you opened your eyes to see that you were naked as well. You whimpered at the sudden coldness hitting your bare body.

“ Loki what if someone comes in? “ you asked, covering your chest at the thought of it. Loki shook his head and laughed.

“ we’re fine, darling. the door is locked. “ Loki said nonchalantly, lowering his head in between your thighs, making you blush madly. Loki smirked and kissed your lower abdomen gently. His warm breath on your skin was sending shocks through your body.

“ do you want to see real magic though? “ Loki’s voice was low and gravely as he looked at your through his brows. You looked at him curiously, tilting your head a bit. He chuckled, his lips trailing from your stomach to the wet mess in between your thighs. You gasped and clasped your hand to your mouth as his greedy mouth made contact with your mound. His warm tongue explored your folds as his hands rested comfortably on the back of your thighs. You started to buck your hips up a little as he kissed you deeper, making you moan louder and louder with each blissful movement. His lips sucked and licked your clit with his oh so talented tongue, making you feel pleasure like no other. Having this happen after all the tears put everything off your mind, which is just what the both of you needed. Maybe Loki was the one who you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with. You had hoped this would be something more taht just one night and he truly meant he loved you. His tongue was certainly saying so.

He lifted your leg and placed it across his shoulders and continued to eat at you hungrily, moving the tip of his tongue in circles around your throbbing bud. You gripped his hair curly as the waves of ecstasy washed over you like a tsunami. The tips of his lips pecked your clit, his tongue peeking out again to dance with your wet folds. He gave your wetness one last kiss before rising himself back up to kiss your lips.

“ Are you sure you want me to take you? “ Loki said breathless as he pulled away. His head dropped into your neck and begun pecking at it lightly.

“ I am certain. Please be my first, Loki. “ You whispered, tugging at his long inky curls. He leaned in to kiss your lips again, you could feel his smile through the kiss like this moment was all he had wanted. He groaned into your mouth his hands pulled yours out of his hair, intertwining your fingers with his in the process. His lips trailed back down to your neck again as his erect length came into contact with your aching entrance. His pace started off a bit slow and leisured, his hips rocking against yours like a beautiful tempo. Moans escaped your lips, your hips bucking upwards in anticipation as he gave you just what you needed. Pleasure was washing over you intensely, your fingers were curling into Lokis skin as a way to cling onto something. The room was beginning to get hot and your bodies rubbed together passionately.

Loki moaned into your neck, both of your breaths beginning to get ragged. He rose up and grabbed the top cushion of the white couch, his pace increasing and becoming rougher with each thrust.

“ oh f-fuck, min kjære.. “ he moaned, his head cranked back and his eyes shut tight while pumping wildly into you. You cried loudly and arched your back, feeling him inching closer to the spot you so needed him to hit. He let go of your hand and gripped the cushion beneath you both, propelling his memeber into you briskly. Your lips met his again, but this time it was sloppy and needy while your fingernails dug into the skin of his back. You clung onto him like he was your only support, your legs wrapping around his waist to deepen his thrusts. The feeling was pure bliss. This was nothing like you had felt before, nothing you had ever experienced. But you felt lucky. making love with a Prince who you not only didn’t know you loved into now, but who also loves you and knows you better than anyone else in this world. Your bond with him was strong and now you felt closer to him than ever.

“ Loki, I’m so- ah! c-close! “ you moaned, your head toy lying back and your eyes rolling to the back of you head as he brought you closer to heaven. You didn’t think you could take it anymore. You grabbed his shoulders and flipped your positions so you were on top. Loki chuckled, his hands going to your hips as you frantically rolled them forward and back on his waist.

“ oh, y/n… “ he sighed out in ecstasy as you bounced and rocked against his pulsating length. His hands slipped down to your ass and grabbed it firmly as you rode him like it was the last thing you could do. He moaned and flipped you back on the bottom, his hardness hitting your sweet spot repeatedly and making you scream in elation. Your chest heaved up and down rapidly, your body shaking as a burning sensation grew inside you. Loki felt it too.

“ Come for me, min kjære. Drip all over me as much as you need to. “ he groaned, kissing your lips hungrily while his blistering pumps never tried out. And just like that, your orgasm hit and shocks of pleasure went through your whole body and made you quiver. You shuddered while the warm liquid discharged your sopping cunt, staring into Loki’s eyes while doing so. The release made you felt empty, yet so complete. But Loki wasn’t entirely finished. He smirked and patted your thighs.

“ Legs up, baby. “ He panted with a smile on his face, his voice low and laced with desire. You whimpered and weakly moved your legs in the air. He grabbed the back of your calf’s and pulled them over his broad shoulders, his length still buried deep within you. With just one simple move of his cock, he was able to make you scream louder than before. Your cunt was stretched and dripping, sensitive and prone to relase again if he continued to push you over the edge. Your eyes didn’t want to open, but you knew he was staring at you with a mischievous smirk.

“ oh gods, look at you. “ he chuckled as he began rocking his hips again. You moaned loudly and cried out as he hit that spot again. You gripped his forearms, your nails digging into his skin while his pace built back up. Your chest was shaking as it heaved up in down, you felt like you couldn’t breathe from the intensity of the moment. His name left your mouth like a soft melody to his ears, his skin smacking against yours and his memeber rubbing against your cunt and creating loud wet noises.

“ keep moaning like that, baby. “ he breathed, clenching your soft thig harshly while he thrashed against you. You cried, feeling that burning sensation again as he drove recurrently into your sweet spot.

“ ha— L-Loki I’m gonna cum again! D-don’t stooop..“ You moaned, your head tilting back as you screamed and cried in orgasmic bliss. Loki growled and with one final thrust, he came undone into your soaking cunt, filling you up and coating your cunt from deep within your core. You also reached your second peak around his shaft, adding to the mess. The second you came, your body fell limp and he let go of your legs.

“ good girl. “ he praised, pecking your trembling lips. Your legs were shaking and your body was convulsing from the intensity. You looked at him with wide eyes, still trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. He slowly pulled out, making more of your mixed orgasms spill out if you. You both panted and laid there for a moment, kissing and holding hands silently. You felt your nose burning and you started crying again. As much as you were happy, you were also still very sad from earlier.

“ I love you, Loki. Please don’t leave me too, just promise me you’ll stay with me until death parts us. “ You whimpered softly, tears rolling down your soft cheeks again. Loki looked at you with wide eyes, feeling a tight sensation in his chest that he had never felt before. He nodded with a warm smile, his pale nose now red as he felt his eyes getting watery as well.

“ yes, yes, of course. I profoundly promise you from the bottom of my heart, that I will never leave you no matter the circumstances. “ he said, pulling your hand in and giving your skin a gentle kiss. With a flash of green, he used his magic to clothe your bodies. Loki had never genuinely fallen in love with someone, he had dated multiple people in his very long life but he had never fallen this hard. But those eyes he gave you. He looked at you a way he never looked at anyone, those soft and kind green eyes that looked at you with a smile despite seeing everything that it had seen in the past.

You sniffed and your thumb brushed his cheek gently.

“ My prince, “ you whispered through a smile. He sniffed and chuckled, leaning down to kiss your lips again.

“ My queen, “ he responded with a chuckle, knowing he had done better than you. You chuckled and rolled your eyes, your fingers moving to tangle around his dark hair as his head lowered down to peck your sternum. His warm breath tickled your skin, his soft lips abrading your breasts. You made a small noise as his lips sucked on your skin harsh enough it was sure to leave a mark. But the passion of the moment was quickly broken up when there was a loud crash from afar followed by the sounds of screaming. Lokis head shot up from your chest, his eyes filled with terror and confusion.

“ Loki, what was that? “ you asked, your head looking around the room as if you would find the answers there. He shook his head, but it all happened too quickly. There was a loud frantic pound at the door.

“ Brother! Asgards under attack, Brother! “ Thors panicked voice yelled from the other side of the door. You stared at Loki in horror as he immediately got off you and rushed to the door. You had never seen him so scared in his life, it was almost like he knew why and how this was happening. He gave you once last glance as you stood up and rushed for him.

“ Loki what’s going on? “ you asked, utterly terrified as you grabbed his arm and tried to stop him. A tear ran down his cheek and he wiped away your own tears with his thumb.

“ I don’t know, darling but I need you to stay here. “ He said, his voice strong but with an undertone of fear. You felt your heart racing, you didn’t want anything happening to him or your people. You shook your head and sobbed.

“ no, no, no let me go with you! “ you said, holding his hand in your own while as he stared at the door and then back at you.

“ no, I can’t have anything happening to you. please just stay here. “ he said, giving your forehead a quick kiss as his hand pulled on the door handle.

“ Loki, don’t leave me— “ He kissed your lips one last time before quickly turning away.

“ I promise you I will come back for you. Please just stay here, darling. “ But that promise would never be fulfilled, Loki wouldn’t be coming back for you.

~~~~~~~~

min kjære ~ my dear or my love

[kuni-is-daddy]

Hi can I please ask for a yandere Scaramouche with a darling that has social anxiety and wears Jirai Kai

Fashion because cute and it works as a coping mechanism and where the darling doesn't fight back even after being kidnapped

YANDERE SCARAMOUCHE X FEMALE READER.

1.43k words. Scara masterlist

TW:? Signals of anxiety, mild bullying(recording)

FT: yae miko and mentions of tartaglia.

Scara's oufit for your 'date' ->> Link

Part 2!

Its been weeks, months, years? even since you've been kidnapped by your ex-boyfriend but the constant memories of his killings we're engraved in your mind. It didnt matter how far you ran or who you called for help. He'd always find you, and always bring you back into the same room he kept you in. To the point where eventually you just stopped trying after truly realizing he's killed everyone, accepting this life as your new normal. His normal. Scara was purely addicted to you. Always cooking for you, sleeping with you and even buying you plushies. Everything he did, Was purely for you.

You laid in the bed of your messy room in one of his shirts. Slurping on your favorite drinks while listening to your comfort songs with your black Bluetooth headphones. You didnt have much left at this point. Just the things you enjoyed alone. And alone was how you wanted to keep it. "Darling? Where are you?" Scara said while locking the door to your shared house. You threw another empty can of your drink on the floor, pausing the song and putting your headphones on your counter. Covering your head under the sheets and pretending to be asleep as you could hear his geta sandals click along the floor. The doorknob turned as the blood covered male entered. Immediately searching the room for you. "Oh. Your here love, did you miss me?" You gripped tighter onto the sheets, Feeling his weight press onto the bed. He scanned the room again, looking at the mess. Plushies scatter along the floor, Your books messily on display ontop of your little table. Along with your pretty black hairclips he bought for you. He sighed. Lifting the blanket away from you with little to no effort. "Good morning, y/n." But you didnt turn around. "Hah so you did miss me." He smirked, noticing you wearing his shirt. Scara then rubbed his hands along your back, You shivered in response. "Your still scared..good to know Dont be darling, I wont ever hurt you. Look at me."

Ironic, After all he's done scara was still able to tell white lies in your face. You turned around. Scara was covered in blood along his face and hands, Coating his fatui kimono in a metaled smell. "Sc-Kuni..Your bleeding.." He raised his brows, Looking at the blood along his fingers as if it wasnt even a problem. "Oh hah. That. Dont worry about it darling, It isnt mine." 'Thats even worse.' you thought. "I want to take you out today love. lets-" "NO!" you yelled. "I-i dont want to go out. I want to stay home." He sighed and cupped your cheek. "You know i cant do that anymore sweetheart." It was true, Scara couldnt afford to keep you home as much anymore. Whenever he did and would leave for a long time due to his association with the fatui, you'd just be long gone running off into inazuma. Anywhere Away from him. You spent day's practicing what you'd say to someone about him and for help, Trying desperately to cast aside the pit you had in your chest when talking. "P-please my boyfrien- No, He kidnapped me and!-" "Kid, this isnt a joke. You and your boyfriend can go do your sadistic cosplays somewhere else. Dont waste the Kujou clans time." 'cosplay?' and that was another thing, People never even took what your wore seriously except for scara so what was the point of going outside anymore?

Your heartbeat began to quicken out of fear how he'd react. You stopped laying down and sat up. "Y/n, Darling-" "Then what if i Run away! huh?! W-would you let me stay home then?" He laughed at your example. "How childish, Even if you did, We both know you wouldnt make it far darling. Now please, Go get dressed."

You stepped outside, Still holding the plushie he gave you in one hand. Scara held his hand out for you, "Fuck..You look beautiful darling." You looked up to him as he gave another sadistic grin. The two of you walked through inazuma city while holding hands. You tuned scara out while he muttered more nonsense about his job, a ginger haired boy you never met and how he cant wait until he gets the month off. One whole month to spend with you, Second after second. "Ugh.. You see her clothes? She looks so unprofessional." A older woman whispered by the dango stall. "I know right. She looks like a hoe honestly, You know? those girls that sell themselves out to those big nobushi guys for money." The two girls laughed as you walked pass them. Your heart began beating in a sharp pain again, You held onto kuni's hand tighter while the male was in his daze. "K-kuni.." you mumbled; He immediately turned his head to you after using his real name. "C-can we go home? Please, I dont want to stay outside anymore." He gave a concerned expression, trying to hold in his patience. "W-why daring? We didnt even make it to the store, I wanted to buy you more of your Jirai kai outfits you love. Come on, lets go. I even had ajax request some of those plushies you like from scenzhnaya" He pulled at your hand but you tugged in response. Triggering memories from when he first attacked you. "N-NO! i dont WANT TO GO KUNI!" the two girls looked in shock, then pulling out their phones to record your meltdown and slowly follow the two of you walk. "Darling. Come on. Dont make me-" Scara sighed and let go of your hand, Trying to resume his 'calm' manners. Ajax told him to work on.

The two of you walked to yae publishing house, Where a pink haired woman addressed you. "Ah. If it isnt kubuki, My my who is this beautiful girl you have with you now?" 'now?' did have another girl before you? "I dont feel like indulging in your games today, Youkai. Did Ajax bring what i ordered?" He sighed. "Ajax? Who?" She searched through her working papers. "Hm...Oh that ginger rascal. Yeah your stuff is over there." "Stay right here." He gestured to you. "Say arent you a gift, Is he treating you well? You know..I happen to be good friends with his mother." Yae miko said, you nodded your head vigorlessly. "Y-yes! I love Kuni alot, He is very nice." Miko giggled in response. 'Kuni huh. What an interesting name he took after this time.' "Is that so dear? You look a little exhausted, A beautiful girl as you shouldnt be tearing up now." She handed you a tissue. "T-thank you ms youkai. I-im sorry..I just really want to go home and relax." You wiped your eyes. "Really dear? and why haven't you?" "W-well.." you ranted off to miko about the two girls who've been bothering you on your walk with kuni. "I-i just wish people didnt look at me this way, I love my clothes they make me feel really-" "Comfortable?" She cut you off. "Y-yeah! and kuni likes them too. I just feel happy and more confident you know?" You continued the conversation with yae miko as her welcoming aura calmed you down from your breakdown.

From across the desk Kuni listened into your conversation. "Two girls with phones, short hair and purple kimonos." Thats all he needed to know. He laughed at the women. Not about you but the fact that they had the audacity to even do that while he was around. Or even say those things to you. He emerged from behind the stall with the plushies. Watching as your eyes lit up when he handed them to you. A warm smile appeared on his face as he hugged you. Not wanting to let you out of his grasp again. Kuni told you to go eat at a stall and wait for him to catch up as he 'had some issues with the delivery' and conversed with yae miko. "The fuck do you think your doing? I dont care how you pretend to care for humans to please over your god, But You have no business to ever be bothered with her. Do you understand that?" He leaned over the desk. "Well..Since you asked so nicely, Id rather believe im doing you a favor, puppet. My, Y/n was much more comfortable talking to me about her problems more than shes ever talked to you yes? Shouldnt you be more. Approachable to your s/o?" She smirked. "I am. Approachable. Why does it even matter to you? Dont you have more important things to do like writing lewd storys about humans like some sadist? I dont think ei would like that would she?" the two of them stopped arguing to the sound of two girls talking. Two girls in purple kimonos... "Hm. I believe those are the two you are looking for, Kubuki? "

Scara grabbed your hand as you nearly dropped your dango. Following the girls eagerly with a giant grin on his face. "Ah- Kuni! Why are you in a rush we-" The girls walked inside a house within the outskirts of inazuma. You puffed off your skirt and continued to eat dango. "Here." He said, "These we're the girls bothering you my love?" Suddenly the mood changed and the sinking feeling in your heart came back once more. "...Girls?..k-Kuni!? did you follow them?!" He ignored your words and gestured for you to wait behind the trees for him. Knocking on the door as a faint glow of lightning emerged from his hands, forming a purple katana that could resemble the masou no hitotachi.

You held onto your plushie tight as the sounds of screams and cries erupted within the area. Slowly coming to grasps with what he was doing. Kuni was getting rid of the girls that hurt you. The ones that made you lash out and practically ruin what could have been a good day for you. A small giggle came out of your mouth, Which you immediately stopped by shoving the last piece of dango into your mouth. 'No. Kuni is still evil, he's still the bastard that even made my life like this!' you turned around when the screams and cries died down. only to be greeted by kuni right infront of you covered in blood and smashing his lips against yours right Infront of the tree. Giving an irritated sigh at the surprisingly sweet taste from your mouth, yet still on his high from the people he killed.

[irelandking]

avenger/agent reader fic recs

bucky barnes x reader

❤️ = fluff 😔 = angst 🔥 = smut

one shots:

devotion - @avecra

When a mission with Sam goes wrong, and you’re left bruised and battered, Bucky is there to piece you back together. ❤️😔

teach me - @buckyalpine

bucky x inexperienced reader, Prompt: 7. Sleep princess, you need it 🔥

lessons in love - @violentdelightsandviolentends

Bucky didn't believe in love at first sight. Then he met you. ❤️

the last first kiss - @witchywithwhiskey

you and bucky barnes have gotten close while on a month-long SHIELD mission together, but when natasha romanoff starts asking bucky about his relationship with you, you overhear something that makes you think your feelings are entirely one-sided. ❤️😔

scary movie - @moonbeambucky

The Avengers spend their night off watching a scary movie. ❤️

fallin' for you - @moonbeambucky

The Avengers spend their day off at a farm near the compound where the leafs aren’t the only things that have fallen ❤️😔

lucky - @moonbeambucky

Bucky Barnes was not a lucky man but after meeting you will his luck change? ❤️😔

eyes - @samingtonwilson

Bucky can’t make eye contact very much anymore even with the girl he loves because he’s scared of what he’ll see, or really of what he might not see. (prompt “Please just look at me while I confess, after that you can look anywhere you like, I swear.” is bolded in story) ❤️

mission report: laundry day - @buckysmischief

You and Bucky have been secretly dating for over a year, what will it finally take for the others to find out? ❤️

a wish for 100 - @viollettes

Midnight strikes, officially marking Bucky’s 100th birthday. You surprise the super-soldier with a small treat and a gift that has potential to change everything. ❤️

a thief in the night - @redgillan

A Buck imagine where you both have a secret affair at the tower and one time you’re over at his apartment and you spend another night together. After you cuddle afterwards, you get up to leave but Bucky grabs you and pulls you back into him, begging you to stay cause he dont want it to be a secret anymore. You stay and get official then :) Also with a smutty part hihi :) Requested by Anonymous. ❤️🔥

always more of a hot chocolate person - @ijustreallylovezebras

At meetings with the rest of the Avengers tea and coffee is always offered around but the reader always says no ❤️

a bid on bucky - @samingtonwilson

You spend thousands of dollars at a bachelor auction for Bucky when you could’ve had him for free this entire time. ❤️

repairs - @samingtonwilson

 In love with the robotics expert in charge of repairing his arm, Bucky’s explanations for malfunctions get more and more creative. - requested by @elaine-spades ❤️

get to know you - @notimetoblog

A Secret Santa gift exchange brings two unsuspecting Avengers closer. ❤️

the pain you feel - @meek-boy-rogers

Y/N can feel the pain Bucky is enduring, and vice versa. She feels the immense pain, he feels the soft touch of her fingers along his arm after particularly painful days. (Soulmate AU the two can feel pain, touches, etc.)  ❤️😔

out the window - @meek-boy-rogers

Y/N is set on befriending Bucky Barnes. She is set on making him as comfortable as possible in the Avengers Tower. She wants him to trust more people. ❤️

why is she wearing my hoodie? - @writing-soldiers

Bucky tries to figure out the reason behind his missing hoodie one day, relishing in the idea that might be a win-win situation for both of you.. but what might that lead to?  ❤️

this means war - @moonbeambucky

Pranking the Avengers was all fun and games but when Bucky snaps you wonder if you’ve gone too far. ❤️😔

a harmless crush - @omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts

Assigned to the Winter Soldier by S.H.I.E.L.D to help him to accommodate to society, staying in the Avenger’s tower, and occasionally doing paperwork for STARK industries, you’ve grown close to James Buchanan Barnes, developing a crush on him in the process. So when you, reluctantly, tag along to a baseball game with the Avengers, and the kiss cam lands on you and Bucky, things get interesting. ❤️

the date - @softlyspector

Bucky is a nervous wreck that asks the reader on a date. It goes differently and better than expected. Anxious!Bucky. ❤️

healing and healed - @softlyspector

Y/N is always healing Bucky, no matter how small the injury. Based on this ask. ❤️

music - @softlyspector

Bucky doesn’t really understand ‘modern’ music. The reader is there to help ❤️

tease - @beckzorz

A fake date with a Danish alien tech dealer. Bucky gets bored, and maybe a little jealous, while he’s waiting in the command truck outside. It’s all downhill from there. 🔥

you're teasing me - @the-bau-quinjet

Sam offers to help you when Bucky refuses to duet with you on karaoke night. ❤️

my name isn't - @the-bau-quinjet

You find out the guys (Bucky, Steve, and Sam) have a bet as to who can kiss you first, so you confront them at Tony’s team building karaoke night. ❤️

i can do more - @the-bau-quinjet

The team underestimates Y/N’s strength until one day when her powers save them all ❤️

distraction - @itsapeterthing

request: “bucky x reader where reader is really attracted to bucky’s fighting side while he’s defeating the bad guys?” ❤️😔

made to fit - @abovethesmokestacks

reader knits bucky a sweater ❤️

seven minutes in heaven - @lokidoki-imagines

There was no prompt for this one, but I just needed to write a bit of Bucky loving and this kinda just came out…Sorry not sorry for the straight up filth! Just remember to wrap it before you tap it kids  🔥

imagine being in a secret relationship with bucky - @yeahbutimagine

Combining @crayonbreaker ’s request with an other one I got. The prompts were n°32 (you know what’s the best part about not wearing makeup/ you can rub your eyes whenever you want) and the 2nd rq by @anahi0101 wanted a fluffy fic where the reader and Buck have been secretly dating and the team finds out. ❤️

drunk in love @bethdutten

you get a little drunk at one of tony’s celebratory after-mission parties. and bucky is there looking so fine and-- fuck it. you can’t keep your hands off him ❤️🔥😔

one of the guys - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you play get down mr. president with the boys and get hurt ❤️😔

number one fan - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you prank bucky by wearing falcon merch ❤️

keep warm - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you and bucky after a mission in a safe house sharing a bed ❤️

drunk words are sober truths - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

bucky gets drunk off asgardian mead and confesses his feelings ❤️

concussed - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

“Hello! I’m an absolute wh0re for hurt/comfort and wanted to request if you could pleeeeaase write reader really sick with a concussion + soft caretaker Buck?” ❤️

be my sidekick - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you and bucky go and see movies together and get together ❤️

how's your head? - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you get harassed on the subway and bucky helps take care of you ❤️

seeing red - @buckysfaveplum

bucky can’t just sit and watch as a man makes you uncomfortable in a bar ❤️

more than safe - @witchywithwhiskey

when you're injured on a mission in sokovia, bucky barnes comes to help—and you share a soft moment together ❤️😔

make believe on christmas eve - @green-eyeddragonfanfiction

When your family insists you bring your [nonexistent] long-term boyfriend over for Christmas, you panic. You hadn’t expected to be put in this situation; you never thought you’d actually have to bring “him” over. ❤️

drive? - @softlyspector

Bucky asks the reader on a date to which she readily agrees. Or, Bucky’s attempt at a car make out. ❤️

i love you - @ugh-supersoldiers

‘I love you’ isn’t a phrase you expect to hear from Bucky Barnes anytime soon, so when those three daunting words slip from your lips on a romantic getaway around Christmastime, your certain he won’t respond well, but he proves you very wrong… ❤️🔥

trapped - @notyetneedcoffee

Reader is trapped on a mission with Bucky. Sex pollen story.🔥

[johnnyslvr]

I wanted to try shifting around a year ago but it never worked, could you give me some tips please??? Thank you 💗

Shifting tips !! °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

from someone who has minishifted >_<

(Please ask me questions, I love talking with you guys :3)

I would just wanna start off and say that these tips have helped me minishift, your journey may be different so if these don’t work please don’t feel discouraged. At the end of the day you either shift or YOU give up.

Starting point 🗝️⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Do you truly want to shift?

Do you intend to wake up in your Dr? Attempt to shift and know that your Dr is where you are going to go. What I’ve seen most people who want to “shift” are still afraid of the concept, you can’t trust yourself that you will shift if you still don’t know if you even want to shift.

Shifting Tips 🗝️⋆｡𖦹°‧★

TAKE BREAKS , take breaks if you feel you aren’t getting anywhere. Whether it means for a day or two or for weeks. Don’t over stress yourself if you truley don’t feel like shifting. I know we get elicited and want to shift every night, but if you feel drained it’s okay to take breaks. ꩜ .ᐟ

DONT OVERCOMPLICATE IT, you dont have to drink 2 gallons of water a day in order to shift. Or make sure your 100 step shifting method is perfect. Do what you feel is right. ꩜ .ᐟ

EASE UP, I know we feel we have to do so many methods, and have to have a perfect method in order to shift but that’s simply not true. I have minishifted by just not following my method anymore and just doing what I feel is correct. Don’t force yourself to do something you feel isn’t right. Do what you like. ꩜ .ᐟ

ITS EASY, don’t make shifting to be something hard. The more you convenience yourself it’s hard the more difficult it will be for you. Shifting is all about mindset, what you say becomes your reality. The more you complain that “shifting is hard” the more hard it will become for you. ꩜ .ᐟ

WE ALWAYS SHIFT, everything we do causes a shift out of us. For example take your hand and grab anything, you have just shifted to a reality where you have grabbed that thing. Where then is another reality where you didn’t. Every decision you make causes you to shift. Even in “failed attempts” where you don’t wake up in your Dr, you still shifted to a reality where you tried to go to your Dr. Shifting is as simple as breathing. ꩜ .ᐟ

GROUNDING, you are already in your Dr. Your DRSELF is still YOU. You should focus on grounding yourself to be at your Dr already. You can shift at any moment, even as of right now. Learn to ground yourself, to get to the feeling of living in your Dr. ꩜ .ᐟ

ROBOTIC AFFIRMING, omg such an underrated way to affirm. When you have free time just affirm, say your shifting affirmations like “I’m a master shifter” “I shift realities whenever I want” “I can go to my Dr whenever.” Just say these over and over and over, when your cleaning your room, when your outside, whenever you want. Just repeatedly affirm over and over. ꩜ .ᐟ

RESEARCH ON YOUR OWN, don’t take everything you find on TikTok(shiftok can be so bad with all the misinformation.) Find your own things about shifting, do research on your own time, you don’t have to understand everything but knowing more will always feel comforting. ꩜ .ᐟ

PRACTICE A METHOD, shifting is a progress. Of course you can shift on your first time but it’s not so common due to how much were attached to our cr. The more you practice a method the more you get the hang of it. If you feel a method is working for you, trust your intuition and practice that method. Do what feels right to YOU. ꩜ .ᐟ

FLIP DOUBTS, flip negatives to positives. Every time you have a thought about shifting like “I can’t shift” turn it positive, think “why do I think that if I shift with everything I do. You always shift, you just have to make it to your Dr. ꩜ .ᐟ

These are the end of the tips!!! I can make more if needed but I’ll feel I’ll end here. You guys can talk to me whenever!! Feel free to ask any questions, my inbox is always open!! ⋆˚✿˖°

I love you all, happy shifting 𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི

[astroels]

hey, i just wanna make sure this will be okay with you! i wanna send in a request where the reader has HEAVY symptoms of/like borderline personality disorder and farmhouse!ellie helps and understands, etc!! because ive shown ALOT of symptoms of it, but i haven’t been able to go to doctors about it :( i am totally down with helping you with this request (only if you are comfortable doing this!)

(anyone who’s sees this, pls DONT take offense to this and please don’t have a go at me (cause it won’t end well, & obviously, it will just send me in to a deeper and darker hole, that im already in!!) and to this kind human who’s writing this!! just be kind, im currently experiencing this for such a long ass time now and it’s such a tough battle, and it’s a heavy and deep journey).

here’s some topics i can help with:

(this is what i experience personally)

- splitting // seeing someone or something (like a situation) either good or bad, it can NEVER be seen in between). this makes asking for advice or reading someone or the situation to be dealt with A LOT more harder… cause i only want one answer, it can be in the middle. it MUST be a yes or no, i hope that makes sense?

- dissociation // feeling disconnected with your senses, can’t tell which is which and it’s incredibly hard to snap out of it.

- heavy feelings of emptiness // having a lack of purpose in general, it’s irritating when you can’t properly and very physically feel your intense emotions :(

- fear of abandonment // scared of ending up alone, just like what ellie said (that’s what ellie and reader can bond over w? or understand about the reader).

- emotional instability - disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – "cognitive distortions" or "perceptual distortions" impulsive behaviour. intense but unstable relationships with others.

- paranoid ideation // when im constantly scared or suspicious being secretly followed, plotted against, always in a constant state of deep anxiety.

- unstable/intense relationship // with me experiencing such intense emotions, etc. this can creat so much short, unstable and intense relationships with anyone i come across in life. // the readers first actual long healthy loving relationship with ellie is her first :(

- sh behaviors… (pls dont do this, if this triggers you)

could you possibly add in about ellies drawings/journal about the reader and bpd… to help her understand and help around the farmhouse for the reader. ellie and tlou helps me so much in so many ways. (abt me and my mind) bc i feel like her drawing about reader and the symptoms/memories of ellie being here can help me so much :)

𝐄𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

a/n: I tried to touch on topics that you mentioned and with information I'm aware of since I have a friend with bpd, if anyone has a problem with this, do let me know, I am in no means writing this to be disrespectful or stereotypical, I just hope someone is able to find comfort in this :)

cw: arguments, mentions of sh (i will mark when it shows up), joel is dead in this (sorry joel)

apocalyptic!au

At first, having to hide your disorder from Ellie was a struggle. There was an intense fear that came with the idea that Ellie would back off as soon as she found out it. It was hard enough to mask the feeling, and even harder when you felt the symptoms that ruined previous relationships ooze into your current one with Ellie. Eventually, you just couldn't hide it anymore. You had to be honest even if rejection was a likely path.

"Ellie, I really need to talk to you." It'd come out in a burst of impulsiveness, no longer being able to keep it from her. From where you were laying on her lap, you'd straighten, looked down, besides her, anywhere where you didn't have to face her.

"What's up?" She'd be looking at you intently, with the shine in her eyes that showed she was curious as to what was to come and her voice gentle, as she naturally was with you.

"I really can't hold it together anymore, I struggle." You paused, didn't everyone? The words felt thick in your throat. You continued after cleaning your throat. "Mentally, 'm pretty sure it's borderline personality disorder, and theres no way to help it." Ellie stared at you, expressionless, waiting for you to continue. "It's always been there, before you, these past few weeks, and when I'm alone. I feel so trapped, Ellie." Everything you said came out rushed, in raspiness, in choked sobs that this was the end of a relationship that could've been something better in your life. "I'm not okay and I'm probably not something you want to deal with." You didn't think she wanted more baggage in this already ruined world.

Ellie didn't speak. Were you too honest? Were you too blunt? Too clingy in such a short time? What was wrong with you? A second passed by with you left in thought. "Oh, baby." Ellie pulled you in, letting you breathe in the slight dirt scent that lingered on her shirt.

She held you for awhile, allowing your tears to ease into falters before speaking again. She pulled away, her hands on your cheek, wiping the last of your tears. "You've never felt like someone I've had to deal with. Disorder or not, I'm going to stay with you, okay?"

Incredible doubt still filled your mind, her words seeming to just sink into you and not touch where it mattered. "What if you realize I'm not worth it? What if you leave? I can't handle that Ellie." You said in almost a whisper, her love was too good to be true, everyone always left when they found out the reality of your behaviors and emotions.

"You're worth more than you realize, baby. I promise you, as long as you need me, I'll always need you. We're going to do this and learn together." She'd caress your cheek, calming you with the sensation of her touch. "And besides, I'm just as scared of losing you." She'd give you a slight smile followed by a kiss on the cheek to lighten the mood. Ellie wouldn't dare make you feel like something she'd have to "deal" with. After your first mention, she picked up books from Jackson to further look into it.

Even if you knew the farm was strayed away from any communities, and it was very unlikely that any infected would stray towards the farm, the anxiety swelled up in you. It was so easy to lose Ellie and everything you've grown together, just by a simple mistake of overestimating your safety. It happened often when you'd hear a noise at night and couldn't sleep, saw something move quickly in the corner of your eye, or even when Ellie was gone for too long. Your fear would turn into forms of skin picking and eventually lead into panics that induced loss of breath and worry. Ellie, of course, did her best to help you through these panics.

You hated bothering Ellie with how you felt, but you promised her you'd be more open and try to be communicative instead of shutting off when something was happening. You kept hearing it, the clicking noise that was going to cause your death any second now.

"Ellie," you whispered, rocking her arm a bit to wake her. Her eyebrows slightly furrowed in sudden wake. Her green eyes looked pretty hazy, but she quickly rose when she saw the shakiness your body was in.

" 's the noise again, baby?" She leaned to her side to pick up her glass of water, offering it to you. Supposedly, fresh water was supposed to cool the body, along with the scent of herbs. Ellie had you trying natural supplements while she found a trader who had medication. All you could form was a simple nod after you drank from her water, your throat burning from anxiousness.

That was all Ellie needed to understand what to do. It'd happened before, and she was glad you woke her up this time. Ellie scootched closer to you, allowing your head to fall on her lap. There was no way to block the noise but to fill the silence.

Ellie took it upon herself to play with your hair, leaving tingles all across your head, and singing for you, songs she created, songs she found, songs Joel had sang for her. She filled the room with her voice to block the outside noises that burdened their mark in your mind. " 's gonna be okay, baby." Her sensation eventually soothed you. Even on rough nights, she didn't give up on helping you.

With BPD, there were empty days, days where you couldn't reciprocate anything, days where everything seemed challenging, it wasn't something you felt you could do. Completing any farm task became a haze. You mentally weren't present in the day. The things you could do seemed to be done messily, which made your helplessness feel even worse.

You knew it was time to get up, time to water the plants, fetch the clothing from the line, and prepare lunch, but you couldn't. If you tried in a state like this, everything would go bad and end up sending you into spiral. Ellie's words passed through your mind. " 'ts alright babe, only do what you can, when you can." She made sure to tell you it was okay, but you still felt useless tucked into bed while she was out hunting and fetching things from Jackson.

You decided to go downstairs and start on some laundry. It's the least you could do to stay organized at such a time. Ellie had been gone for a while now, the hallow feeling inside you carved deeper each moment you felt the absence of her. She couldn't fix you, but the knowledge that she was around made it the tiniest bit better.

A load of laundry was done when you decided to just get back in bed. There was no use fighting what was inevitable. Time passed as if you were watching a train, you weren't moving, but time surely was. You spent the rest of the day wating for Ellie, growing impatient in the increasing grayness.

While looking at the window, the sound of a door rattling burst your train of thought. Ellie's voice of letting you know she was home was faint. Would she notice that today was an off day? Would she be as caring as the other days? You heard her making her way upstairs momentarily.

The moment she walked in, she glanced at you and spoke with a gentle tone, pushing you into a cloud. "Hey baby, how're 'y holding up?" She continued around the room to change, leaving herself in a tank top and pj shorts. Your silence spoke volumes, you just couldn't respond. Your voice didn't want to be heard, it felt trapped in your throat. You nodded at her, making eye contact as reassurance you weren't mad, just drained.

Ellie grew understanding of these times, whether they lasted for days to weeks, she was there. She got into bed with you, seeking your warmth for a little while before she had to make dinner. She knew you didn't take care of yourself properly these days, so it was most obvious that she'd be right at your service, asked or not.

Arguments were not a likely thing to happen, but that didn't remove the possibility of it. Sometimes, you just couldn't help the feelings that bubbled up and were unstoppable. It came from stress, irritation, or just something Ellie said that sounded off putting. This part was the hardest for Ellie to communicate through, as she has her own communication issues; However both of you shared a fear factor of being abandoned. This alone gave the courage to work through the outbursts. Hard to handle, but ultimately manageable. (Tw for sh starts here, head to next section to skip)

Ellie had traded some time ago for pills, they were supposed to stabilize your mood, they really just made you unable to think as much and light headed. It wasn't the best medication, but it's as far as a post-apocalyptic world could provide. At first you took them daily as suggested, but when you learned Ellie had given one of her knives joel had crafted before he died, immense guilt filled you everytime you took one or even looked at them. The thought Ellie gave up something so special for you, made you nauseous.

In guilt of her action, you "forgot" to take them for several days, possible weeks. You thought if you were less dependent on them, Ellie wouldn't have to trade something like that again. What didn't cross your mind was Ellie noticing the difference of you on and off the meds. She noticed the way your irritation and mood swings became intense, noticed the way you pushed her away more often. The truth would come crashing down once the both of you made a wrong tone.

You were putting away dishes when Ellie approached you. "Tommys' invited me over tomorrow, said he's gonna talk to me about something." You usually wouldn't be annoyed at Ellie's absence but she'd hardly been home all week and you felt discarded. "Okay." Was all you could form in a rude tone. The actions of you putting away the glasses became unconsciously harsher. "Okay?" Ellie eyed you. You gave her a look and continued with the dishes.

The silence rung in your ear, you felt hot, the warmth crawling up your neck. Before you realized, a glass shatterd on the floor and made you wince. You cursed under your breathe while Ellie spoke out. "What the fuck is up with you?" Her eyebrows were furrowed and her tone was slightly impatient. "Nothins' up." You made your way to the kitchen doorway to grab a broom. "Look, I can't be doing this." You heard Ellie sigh. "You're gonna have to speak up." You hated the way your heart felt so heavy, you didn't want to "speak up", you wanted everything to end already.

You turned to look at her. "I know about the pills, Ellie." Ellie looked like she had an arrow of shock hit her. You continued to speak after a moment. "I don't want to take them if it means you'll be sacrificing things like that."

Ellie was biting the inside of her cheek, her face looking frustrated above anything. "I don't want to exhaust you any longer, I can't do it to you, Ellie." You stared at her for any signs of reading how she felt. No effort could ever tell you what she was thinking. "What's done is done, just take the fucking pills." Her tone seemed increasingly harsh. "No, Ellie, I don't want to burden you any longer."

"You've already become a fucking burden, 's too late to worry about that now." Your heart dropped. Out of everything she could've said, you never thought it'd come to that. You could tell she regretted it by the way she gasped and immediately started attempting to apologize, but you couldn't anymore. You had already began to run up the stairs into the bathroom, your mind ringing with her words. If you were a burden, it'd be better to stay in there and rot away.

You were left alone in the bathroom with your thoughts, alone with your hidden "safety" kit, if you could call a box that held such a harmful purpose, safe. But it's okay because this never left you, this was always there for you. It would just be this time you told yourself; you needed the comfort.

You knew how to clean up well, the only way Ellie would notice is if she really looked. She would probably check, considering she knew your destructive behavior. You wish you could feel pity over yourself for relapsing, but it just felt so numbing, It took no effect.

A sudden knock frightened you as you scrambled to put away all your materials. "Baby, will you please come out." You didn't know how to respond. Now that she was here, you knew how disappointed she'd be about what you did. Not telling her wasn't an option, you'd feel like a liar. "You're not a burden babe, I promise you you're not." She sounded stuffy as if she'd been crying. You couldn't ignore her for long, simply unlocking the door as an invitation.

Ellie quickly opened the door and brought you into a hug. You didn't hug back, but she understood. You stood there wondering if she'd hate you. Would she finally let you go? No, you couldn't keep doing this to yourself. You let yourself sink in her arms, crying. Her words are the last thing you remembered for the next days that passed like a fever dream. "I love you, my angel."

You never understood how quickly Ellie was able to adapt to your mania and depressive episodes. It was quite a lot to deal with and retain. You never understood until you found her journal she'd left out. You were cleaning up the table as your eyes found their way to her open words and drawings. She had thoughts, lists, notes about what was okay, not okay, what helped you, what hadn't. It was awfully sweet, she really cared and it showed. You didn't know how you manged to make her your girlfriend, her beauty and love always made your heart flutter.

Ellie once asked you to be the star of her nude drawing, as hesitant as you were, you trusted her with all your insecurities. She never showed you the drawing though, not until you came across it yourself. She portrayed your body lovingly, the curves of your skin rolled naturally, your stretch marks defining the growth you've gone through, your scars drawn fluidly. Did she really picture you like this? Did she really think you were this worth drawing for? Your heart felt warm, knowing this was how she thought of you.

The other drawings were full of you doing activities, playing with a stray cat that lingered your farm for a few months, watering the plants, petting the sheep, dancing with music, and laying on the grass. Every moment you could picture with her was sketched right in front of you.

Along the pages, there were separate sections that divided different things about your bpd.

What makes it worse

Being too touchy when she's irritated

The smell of cinnamon (oddly specific)

The pink pills

When a straight answer isn't given

What helps

Occasional weed usage (don't overuse !!)

Baths (most of the time)

The texture of her favorite sweater ( W symbol)

Treating her gentle (not too gentle)

Things to mention (that might help)

The new pill

Herbs for sleeping tea

New hobbies

Music record I found

Chore separation (on a normal day)

E- Herding sheep, hunting, fetching supplies, organizing imports

R- washing clothes, watering plants, hunting, feeding sheep

Both- Making food, cleaning, looking out for infected

surprise plans

Candlelit picnic dinner while watching meteor shower (Wednesday)

sensual massage ;)

bath with the relaxant oils I found

dancing to the record she liked but we broke (found another)

giving her the ring

[lipglossanon]

i cant get this thought out of my mind so i hope you dont mind this word vomit 🫣

okay so.... its a new stepdad leon idea. your parents divorce (im thinking its probably a messy thing and you dont have much contact at all with your dad anymore) and your mom remarries a close family friend (maybe even dad's best friend if its really messy haha). so this is a man that has seen you grow up and you were friendly with already. but once you started getting older, he was having these thoughts. he felt so dirty and guilty but you looked so good and it didn't hurt anyone if they were just thoughts, right? (that's what he had to tell himself when he would jack off to the thought of you later)

BUT now he's your stepdad. he married your mom and he pushed those feelings deep down. and youre in college now, currently staying at campus. but then you come home for a break and he cant stop staring at you, licking his lips as he admires your long legs and your curves

you don't really see him as your dad because you grew up with him around. he'll always be leon to you. and you maybe always thought that he was way too hot. once you started maturing, you couldnt help if you started thinking about how large his hands were compared to your own or how his stubble would feel between your legs.... and now youre in the same house as him. you try your best to push all of those memories aside and act normal around him, but its hard. (especially if he just came out of the shower and his sweats are resting low on his hips and his happy trail is just calling to you)

so as all stories go, your mom leaves for some reason - maybe she goes on a trip with some friends and youre grown now, so she feels comfortable leaving the house for a week or so. and its probably a little awkward with you and leon because of this unspoken tension but after some jokes and stuff (maybe even leon reminding you of something embarrassing you did as a kid 🤭), you get back to your relationship before your mom married him

but you two get a little too comfortable and you, teasingly, call him "daddy" and leon just freezes - his face flushed and his dick starting to chub up because god you really just had to say that while you were so close to him and he can practically see your ass with those shorts and holy shit he needs to do something before it gets awkward again - but you immediately understand whats happening and you tease him more, sliding your hand up his arm and turning up the charm until he breaks

and he breaks hard

he pushes you down to the couch, pushing his knee in between your legs and pressing it against your cunt which is already beginning to steadily leak slick. he leans down, whispering in your ear "you think you could get away with that, baby? think you can just tease me and get what you want?" and hes letting you buck up into leg, feeling his bulge on your thigh and he helps you grind against his jeans. "do you know how much i wanted this, sweet girl? how long i've wanted to touch your pussy?" and youre whining because his lips are ghosting across the shell of your ear, not quite touching it. he's not touching you the way you want him to, the way you need him to. so you try to stumble out an apology, hands desperately trying to grab onto him anywhere and bring him closer, calling him daddy again. he hums as he slides your shorts and panties down your legs, his eyes darting between watching your expression and looking at your glistening pussy that he imagined more than he cares to admit

and i cant think of the specifics of how i imagine it but he makes you rub your bare cunt against his thigh and it hurts but it also feels so good and he talks about how much he thought about you before and how dirty he must be. and he makes you cum like that, not even really touching you, just letting you hump him. and then of course, he fucks you properly, saying how you feel better than he ever imagined and how he can't wait to taste you later too 😵‍💫

im sorry that this is like rushed at the end but my brain stopped working 😭 maybe i'll have more ideas later

💭 anon

This has got my brain going brrr 😵‍💫 😵‍💫

This stepdad Leon seems the type to tell you that this is so dirty and it can’t happen again while he’s rearranging your guts 🥴 and then he’s just mumbling about how he’s thought about you like this and how he feels like a total perv but never stops fucking you, thrusts even harder into you, talks about how he jerks off in your panties even when your mom’s home, how he’s done it right next to her while she’s sleeping 🥴

[jewish-vents]

Self harm warning

I finally broke down and relapsed tonight. 2 years clean down the drain. I’m not going to lie, part of it is that I’m so fucking tired of no one taking my pain seriously. I’m not fully completed reform conversion yet but I’ve lost so many friends. I have to see childhood friends who previously comforted me about antisemitism post things which imply or state I deserve it. That my pain doesn’t matter. My pain isn’t real and maybe it never was.

My partner won’t take it seriously, they keep telling me “they don’t know what they’re saying. They dont mean you. Just talk to them.” I CAN’T. I’ve already had the ones I tried talking to tell me my pain is lesser. Me getting called slurs and told i have no culture, that i’m either the worst kind of white person or that I’m not white but nothing else either. A third worst thing. Saying I want peace for everyone in the region somehow translates to saying I want ethic supremacy and I’ve never faced “true” racism?

My jewish family and I have no contact right now. My local community is on lockdown or packing up. I can’t see anything about Judaism or Jewish people or politics without feeling like I’m about to have a heart attack with a stone crushing my chest. I can’t go anywhere online and I’m terrified to leave my house. My queer “support” is gone so I’m practically closeted again. Everything I tried to build up or wanted is gone or changed because of some fucking countries I don’t live in.

Maybe if my pain is visible people will give a shit, maybe at least if I can point to my new scars and go “this is how antisemitism affects me.” I can at least make them uncomfortable and fuck off. They’re screaming for my blood anyways. The physical pain is a distraction from the mental pain. I’m sorry this is heavy but I can’t stop angry crying. I’ve been dissociating and trying to be good and unwavering. I coudl’mt do it anymore.

.

[oncamelliastreet]

depression rant <3

idk sometimes i would like for just one thing in my life to go well. like literally not even my playlist is working right now. 700 songs off of my 1200 song playlist i listen to everyday disappeared so i have to make a new one. and the new one is only showing up on my phone, not my ipad. and i can’t fix it.

and as much as i wish he was, i really don’t think my crush is into me too. i don’t think im likeable. im not pretty enough to attract anyone (girls aren’t even in the picture at school because it’s literally a catholic school in the midwest everybody is homophobic and guys either chose the prettier girls or date someone outside of our school). and even if i was attractive i don’t think my personality is enough. i’m too quiet and anxious at first for anyone to stick around and get to know me. there will always be someone better in comparison. and yk what even if i did manage to find someone who liked me back they would probably leave the second they found out im really not comfortable with having sex any time soon (if ever) at all. i’m just gonna die alone with my dogs while my sisters live their happy lives with their families.

and none of my friends even care about me outside of school. they talk to me when i’m in their classes but outside of school i’m not getting invited anywhere. and when i do get invited somewhere, like to hang out at my “best friends” house for example, her neighbor she’s friends with conveniently is coming over and she couldn’t figure out how to say no so they’re just talking the whole time and i’m just there in the background. or i’ll try to make plans and then they’ll cancel on me 30 minutes before they’re supposed to show up 4 times in a row. because their’s always something better to do.

and my head hurts all of the time and i went to a neurologist for it but i basically have to try a bunch of pills that almost definitely won’t work before i can get to the stuff most likely to be effective because the stuff that will probably help is more expensive and my insurance won’t cover it if i haven’t tried the stuff that won’t work and is cheaper. and i had a headache all day during my family gathering for my moms birthday because i used a shampoo that smelled a little bit and i felt like throwing up from it, and my mom had to wash my hair over the sink like a baby half way through the day because it was so intolerable.

and on top of that i couldn’t even get my mom a good present for her birthday because i dont have a job to be able to afford anything and i couldn’t go shopping with what little money i have because i dont have a drivers liscence and none of my siblings live close to home anymore so i had nobody to take me shopping. so everybody got her a really nice and thoughtful present and i got her fucking flowers because that’s the shitty daughter i am i guess.

and my dog has had a lot of spine issues because she’s a hot dog and they’re really prone to back injuries. and she’s been acting really weird the last week and i’m worried she’s gonna get hurt for like the 7th time. and it feels like nobody but me and my mom take it seriously because my older sisters will pick her up like it’s no problem even though every time she gets picked up a lot she gets hurt some time soon after. and my fucking grandma invited her to jump up on the couch when nobody was paying attention (she absolutely cannot jump on couches for the rest of her life, every time she does she gets SUPER injured) but i couldn’t say anything because she’s an old lady so i was just on the edge of a panic attack the entire day even though i just wanted to yell at her because she completely ignored us EVERY time she comes to visit. literally every time she’s here my dog ends up jumping on a couch and is hurt and crying in her bed unable to move days later. and it seems like im the only one who cares.

and on top of that it’s now one in the morning and i have to be up in 5 hours to take the psat which im gonna fail because im horrible at standardized testing and theyre online now which means i really can’t focus at all and im just a lost cause.

i give up trying atp.